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mulders-too-large-shirt · 1 month ago

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s7 episode 11 “closure” thoughts

we are BACK, and it’s closure time. do i actually believe that any closure will be gained here? no. not at all. but! that is the title of the episode, and so i will refer to it as such.

a lot of stuff happened last episode, and i have a lot of questions. i assume that very few of them will be answered. it was a rather heavy episode, and i am expecting that to continue.

you know i don’t like the ones where the kids get hurt. bums me out big time.

(post-episode thoughts: i really... didn't like this one. for the simple reason that the lore reveals made no sense. and i'm not sure if i am supposed to go along with that and say "aha! it is closure time! and it just so happens that most of the stuff we learned before was all wrong and THIS time it's real!" or if our characters are also being duped and they don't know it (which the retconning of the lore also hurt my interpretation of, because i was like "omg, mulder, you CANNOT be believing this right now, that goes against everything you previously knew!" but if that is what the writers decide, then... where does that leave us?)

regardless, i just didn't find the answers they came up with compelling. if it's another bait and switch, it's getting old. if it isn't, all of the previous stuff we ever learned was for nothing. either way, i end up displeased.

and the actual discovery of the closure... idk. i feel like it wasn't fleshed out. it just felt like... that's it? after all this time? after everything? now you're content with the answer?

it was a poignant narrative, a big moment, but... not satisfying to me. i waited a few days to edit my notes because i couldn't tell if i was being too much of a hater and i would mellow out with time, but i feel the same still, which is a bummer. actually, it's a lie- i'm ANGRIER than before!)

allow us to delay no longer.

previously on the x files…. give us a recap!

i hope we get more skinner today. i’ve been missing him. and their whole situation right now has to be tense as fuck given that he was yelling at mulder when his mother died. give me that tension. let us writhe in it.

we see kathy lee, telling us about the walk-ins again. i still don’t believe her. and we resume in the grave filled area with our agents where we left off.

they’re pulling out the bodies of those poor kids. mulder is narrating. and punching me in the gut repeatedly with his words. “were they still dreaming of ice cream and monkey bars? of birthday cake and no future but the afternoon?”

fuck. it’s not real, i mumble to myself; shoutout to the props team as we see this child's body. but. gah. ouch.

some of them were there for a very long time…

“i want to believe so badly in a truth beyond our own, hidden and obscured from all but the most sensitive eyes. the the endless procession of souls, in what cannot and will not be destroyed”

and then there is a night scene of the kids climbing out of the graves. are they ghosts? the visions the parents were seeing? there are so many them

“i want to believe that we are unaware of god’s eternal recompense and sadness. that we cannot see his truth. that that which is born still lives and cannot be buried in the cold earth, but only waits to be born again at god’s behest, where in ancient starlight we lay in repose”

interesting that at this point in his desperation he invokes god. and what he wishes he could believe in. maybe in another life where he didn't lose samantha, he would have been a devout man.

one of those little ghostly kids looked like his sister... but i still don’t buy it.

intro time… i can only groove sadly today.

fuck, man. he wants to believe in some higher power. but i don’t think he can bring himself to. isn’t that so sad?

NEW WORDS ON THE SCREEN: “believe to understand”

it’s been a while since we have seen new words!! i know the people watching when this aired were going crazy at this reveal.

scully comes in the room while tons of cops are watching the videos from truelove's santa village. one of the cops smiles at her politely. while mulder has his eye to something on his desk. looks like he’s looking through film negatives.

omg, from the credits i see that bestie CSM is gonna be here…

scully says that truelove started murdering at age 19, and that started the whole santa claus thing. he’s admitted to 24 murders. but he won’t admit to anything with amber lynn.

and her body was not one of the ones found out there.

“mulder, i know you wanted to find her out there” “he’s got hours of video of her” “i’m talking about your sister” <- OH…. my heart. this finally gets him to look up.

“yeah. you don’t know how badly i wanted her to be in one of those graves. as hard as it is to admit, i wanted to find her here, riding her bike like all these other kids”

he went through something similar in paper hearts, but he broke down in tears when he learned it wasn’t her that was dead, both out of sorrow and relief- i wonder if all the time and wondering has made him just want an answer, no matter what it is, even though a few years ago he was glad to learn it wasn’t really her and he still could hold onto some hope.

“i guess i just want it to be over”.

FUCK.

a guy named harold piller came to see them at this very moment. so we are not left with much time to linger on that sentiment, even though i wish we could.

scully is basically asking who tf he is, and harold says he hopes he can be part of the investigation. ohhhh, he hands over his business card saying he is a police psychic to scully.

hey man, if you were a real psychic, i feel you should have known to hand it to the other person standing there who actually believes in your line of work. harold says he’s getting some strong hits- they’re looking for a little girl that isn’t among the dead, that the suspect claims he didn’t kill. yeah, well, you could gather that from TV…

i anticipate a very protective scully.

she points out his references, all of which are in south asia?? he says that last one he listed was for a train wreck. and he didn’t recover the bodies, but he found out that they were transferred from the site in a spiritual event called “walk-ins” OHHHH. that term again.

“thank you, mr. piller, but we have real work to be doing” <-LMAOOOO, scully is not messing with this guy. good. be mulder's guard dog.

but mulder stays in the hall. he is still listening. harold says he’s studied this all over the world- the bodies are transported in starlight.

scully isn't trying to be polite at all when she says “please excuse us” and grabs mulder by the elbow to talk elsewhere right in front of this harold guy. and i respect it.

OHHHHH, she says he’s been through so much in a short time. and this guy cannot help them find amber lynn by his own admission. he’s vulnerable! but mulder says it’s not the first time he’s heard of this "walk-in" thing- kathy lee mentioned it.

scully is mad- nobody can disprove that he "discovered" anything if there are no bodies.

but mulder thinks he can help.

“mulder… you told me that all you wanted was for this to be over” “i do” she nods “well, then i’m going back to washington. there’s nothing more to be done here”

god, it’s so sad. what is she supposed to do? stay with him while he hurts himself in his own grief and is manipulated at his very lowest? leave him to do it on his own? fuck. no one wins.

so, mulder and piller go out to the crime scene. piller says he’s been doing this for a few years- since his son disappeared. and then, one day, he started to see him.

why do the walk-ins take the children? it always seems to happen after the parents have a horrible vision of their child dead. and harold thinks good spirits come before they meet that cruel fate. to turn them into starlight.

harold says that’s not what happened at santa's village, though. because these kids died suffering. he starts to cry as he says he sees them.

but not amber lynn. she wasn’t here. still, he senses a connection to this place. no, he clarifies; it’s a connection to mulder. he reaches out and touches his arm. saying he lost a young girl close to him long ago. his sister. and he thinks there’s some sort of connection. but he doesn’t know what. he says he is sure they can find them.

i am convinced that this guy was sent by CSM to fuck with mulder's head.

ohhhh, we see a video of mulder back in ‘89 getting hypnotherapy. his longer hair is killing me. but it’s a serious scene, have no doubts. he recounts the tale of abduction we know so well at this point.

scully is watching the tape with someone i have not seen before- an older guy. this man says he seems to be in a legitimate hypnotic state. but then he got suspicious. and thinks it’s a compensatory abduction fantasy. “compensatory for what?” “his guilt, his fear”

wait. now what if THIS guy was also sent by CSM? because he says this fantasy is to prevent mulder from remembering what really happened that night. and what if CSM is trying to get them both to stop believing, but from different directions...?

this guy agrees that mulder's sister went missing in 1973. but he did the regression therapy 16 years later, and between when he started and when samantha was taken, he found the x files, and there was alien imagery in his head…

he thinks she was killed. and then pulls out the file on samantha's disappearance. there was a lot of effort to find her because her dad was high up in the government, but they found nothing. there was even a treasury investigation into her whereabouts. which raises the question: what does the treasury have to do with finding missing kids?

and he asks scully why this gets brought up now. “someone owes it to mulder”

“word of advice, me to you: let it be. you know, there’s some wounds that are just too painful ever to be reopened”

who is this guy…. i don’t trust him. nor do i trust piller!!!

“well, this particular wound has never healed. and mulder deserves closure, just like anyone” <- ohhhh, her defending him in his absence… :(

back in the motel, mulder is asleep, watching a movie about apes. when there is a knock at the motel door. many knocks. it’s piller, who says he is picking up something. you know, psychically.

why are you bothering him at 3 am…? it feels like he’s waiting til he's sleep deprived and even more vulnerable to manipulate him. harold claims there is a visitor here and comes in the room, telling mulder to grab a piece of paper and a pen. he seems skeptical.

harold claims it’s mrs. mulder. he’s mulling the possibility over. and it seems we see her ghostly image over his shoulder, but... you never know with these things, if they're real or now. whatever she has to say is about his sister. and then she’s gone.

mulder’s furious, telling harold to get lost, NOW.

BUT HE WROTE SOMETHING DOWN!!! and he had no idea. it says “april base” <- what does THAT mean?

scully time. she’s at mrs. mulder’s house. a real friend breaks into your dead mom’s house for you. she’s looking for clues. for anything at all. she finds the pictures burned in the trash. including a social security paper, or something?

time to call mulder and report the news. he's on his way somewhere with harold. she asks if he knew about the treasury department investigation into samantha’s disappearance- just like that other guy mentioned. and he says he knows.

it’s the document that calls off the search for his sister, signed with the initials “CGBS”. it was stopped by CSM!!!!

but mulder doesn’t think it matters. scully is baffled by this. even though CSM is the man that killed his father, and confounded him at every step, he says he’s never helped before and never will now, and hangs up.

i know he’s grieving, but. yowch. way to blow her off.

where are they driving to? whatever "april base" is? it’s covered with "no entry" signs. but mulder doesn’t want to go in. “what are you afraid of? that you’ll really find her? that you’ll have to deal with it?” <- harold. i do not like you right now. that is not a nice thing to say to someone.

a car approaches them…. someone gets out, saying they need to move along and turn around. which... does make it seem like there is something to see here.

oh, sweet scully is getting home, and her phone is ringing. met only with dial tone. FUCK, IT’S CSM IN HER APARTMENT. “i like to make myself useful” “you can start by putting out that cigarette” <- OHHHHH, fuck him up for me.

i got jumpscared for REAL.

she tells him he’s sick. and, seeming to not take this as an insult to his character, he tells her he had an operation. which i guess addresses that one time an alien told him he had cancer.

and then asks her to stop looking. he says he signed that order because no one will find samantha. he believes she’s dead. no reason to think otherwise.

“there was so much to protect before. it’s all gone now” <- right... because. they thwarted colonization, or now it is inevitable, or something? honestly, the plot stuff gets all blurry. there was an alien race that rebelled against the colonization plans, but those consequences weren't really explored. yet.

i'm getting flashbacks to all of the times CSM has claimed he knows where she is, and even brought fake samantha to mulder… bro will really just say and do anything

he claims he has let mulder believe she’s alive out of kindness. it’s what gives him hope.

nasty evil man...

back to harold and mulder, who go back to the base. it’s halfway through the episode, and the score is once again popping off. harold says samantha was here, in one of these houses. but he says he doesn’t know which one.

ahh! the car from before is approaches them!!! they hide. mulder wants to get tf out of there. but the he finds something. samantha wrote her name in the sidewalk. “you told me she was here. you didn’t say with who”

AND JEFFREY IS WRITTEN IN THERE, TOO?!!

spender lore…. omfg….

we cut to scully talking to mulder, asking him when he came up with this new story. “because yesterday when i spoke to you, you said that the smoking man wasn’t involved”. her voice is shaky.

he thinks CSM took samantha and raised her alongside jeffrey.

she tells him he spoke to her- and doesn’t answer when he asks “you went to him?”, probably thinking that admitting he broke into her apartment would send him on a hunt for revenge- and that he claims she’s dead. mulder decides that the new story he has come up with is still correct, and that CSM is a liar. that much is true, but to what end, we do not know.

they’re fighting. she doesn’t want to hurt him. he’s yelling. he led you, alright, she says.

harold is at a diner, and scully is behind mulder as he storms in. he says hello to her. and she forces a smile. “agent scully has informed me that you failed to mention something to me when we first met”

he is currently under investigation for the murder of his son.

honestly, that isn't super surprising. i was kind of expecting something more interesting than that. his kid "vanished". of course he's a suspect.

harold claims the police need someone to blame. and that’s not all- he was institutionalized for schizophrenia. he says he has it under control.

harold asks what he has to gain from any of this. he just wants his boy back. he sees things for a reason- if not to help, why is it? maybe he can prove it, he proposes.

scully looks furious. but they run back into the house in the base. the house has been empty for a long time. harold says they will summon a presence.

“oh, yay. a seance. i haven’t done that since high school” <- OHHHH, SHE DID SEANCES WITH MISSY…….. stop. i’m gonna cry.

“maybe afterwards we can play postman and spin the bottle”, mulder says. oh. trying to keep it light. and they all take hands.

now that harold has mental illness accusations, i believe that he actually can see dead people, because that is usually how things go in this show. but that is the only point in his favor that makes me think he isn’t led by CSM.

btw, if you feel a pressure in your ears or a chill, that means they’re here. these are harold's seance signs.

scully wants to know how she’ll know if they’re here… he says they’ll know. and they’re surrounded by ghostly figures. a kid leads mulder away. is it baby spender...?

scully doesn’t see anything when she opens her eyes. but she follows mulder, who is on the move. he says it’s here. a boy led him into this room. and he finds a diary. that harold says is his sister’s.

they read the diary back in the diner- it talks about the tests, and her lying, telling them what they want to hear. he mumbles that she was 14. he’s crying as she remembers having a brother that she hopes can read this someday. and her memories of him being taken away. and then a page about running away. and that’s the end.

i hate to say it while he sits here and cries, but i don’t believe it. it seems like someone left that there for him as a perfect trap. scully grabs his hand. she says let’s get out of here. he looks up into the sky.

ponders if souls really are starlight. nothing is ancient in the universe. and he wonders what his mother was going to tell him. scully tells him to get some sleep. and he laughs.

he wakes up, in his bed. seeing his mother. who whispers something. BUT WHAT?

scully knocks on his motel door. and he is very sleepy as he answers it. she says she has it. “i couldn’t believe it when i saw it”

it’s a blotter that matches the description of his sister. “when did you find this?” “mulder, it’s almost noon” <- ohhhhh, my god. she gets results. that’s love.

and the way she said it like it was so self-evident that if given the morning, she would be able to track down a lead on his missing sister... like it never even occurred to her that would be seen as a deeply impressive thing to do. yeah. that's my scully.

so they pour through files in the hospital. whoever it was that matched her description, they couldn’t get her to give a name. there are reports of scars on her body. he thinks they’re from the tests. and that CSM is only lying now because she must still be alive

“mulder, wait” “i know, i know. you don’t want me to get my hopes up. i understand that” oh, his carefully controlled tone... but he says there’s a signature from a nurse who signed her in.

they drive off, late at night, with harold. they are going to find that nurse. he stops. he says he has a powerful feeling that this is the end of the road. that he’s been brought here to learn the truth. scully asks if he’s ready. and asks if he wants her to go talk to her by herself. he nods. and she says okay. and goes.

(her going on his behalf... i'm not crying)

she knocks, and an elderly woman answers the door. mulder watches as she does so. scully asks if she remembers that girl all those years ago. she’s saying she was scared. shaking. harold interrupts, saying that she must have had a vision of her dead. and the nurse says yes- no one believed her at the time. and then it was gone.

men came to pick her up. she assumed the one was her father, but the look of fury he gave her when she asked him to put out his cigarette caused her chills

but the girl was gone. out of a locked room. vanished. scully turns to harold. and turns to mulder. who is gone.

he’s on a walk. there’s music playing in the distance. he sees that little boy from the house earlier. he reaches out to him. leads him up a hill.

where lots of ghostly kids are playing. amber lynn is there. and his sister runs up to him. she’s older- probably 14. hugs him. cups his face. hugs him again.

he comes back. saying he went to the end of the road.

OH. the little boy was harold’s son. “he’s dead. they’re all dead, harold. your son, amber lynn, my sister” he grabs harold’s shoulders. saying he has to let him go. he’s in a better place. they’re all in a better place. and harold runs away.

scully asks what happened. are you sure you’re alright? “i’m fine. i’m free”

the end.

what….

i have no idea what to believe.

are we supposed to think that is the end?? of the whole journey with samantha?? that after all these years, he is finally set free?

so… what really happened to her??

here’s my best approximation of a timeline: she was taken by the aliens, as someone was someone from each family of those involved with the program, to insure that they wouldn’t rebel. she had the alien DNA infused in her along with all the others, like cassandra spender, who were given up. and then- for some unexplained reason, she was given back to CSM rather than the aliens, the search for her was called off, and she was raised alongside spender. she was tested on for years before running away, and then she died, probably due to the testing.

but… okay. wasn’t spender raised by his mom alone?? and he never met his father?? so does this completely retcon that??

CSM has had the same face for a very long time. how tf would spender forget what he looked like? he didn't seem THAT young based off of the hand prints and writing that were supposed to be his.

he mentioned his mother going crazy when his dad left. so are we supposed to believe that he grew up with his mom and dad, and then for some reason, CSM left? maybe when samantha died? which would have been at age 14? spender would have been old enough to remember his father's face at that point, though, because there wasn't that much of an age gap between them based on them both writing their names in the concrete... if that even really did happen...

or are we just??? never going to know? and regardless of how it happened, mulder has finally come to terms with the fact that she isn’t out there? was he trying to hold onto her to hold onto his family, but now that his mom is gone and there is no family to hold onto, he can let go?

also. what happened to amber lynn? her mom was possessed and wrote the note without knowing and then… she died, somehow? or was she really taken by the star people? it seemed like mulder was disavowing their existence at the end, so i ruled that out. did her parents kill her? but there was no evidence of anything. so. we just. do not know.

and we have no answers for harold, either, because mulder rejected his claims about the star people despite ending up believing everything else he said. then how tf is he seeing all of those kids...? and claiming psychic connections?

SIGH.

i'm frustrated. i find it hard to believe any of this, and it seems so absurdly impossible that mulder believing it is also crazy to imagine. and that seeing a vision of her would instantly heal all of his pain... idk, man, it just makes a sum total of no sense.

am i alone in thinking this? did this actually wrap everything up with a bow for y'all when you saw it? are we truly never going to deal with this arc again? the foundation of the very show? mulder is just... healed now? he's given up ever finding her, but he is okay with that? or will he realize how absurd this whole thing is and snap out of it and search again?

idk, though, the episode was called closure. that implies that it is the last we'll hear of this. which pisses me off further, because it's so underwhelming.

i thought we were going in the direction of harold being sent by CSM to prey upon mulder at his very weakest, particularly because he had involvement- somehow- with his mother's death. which we know because she was there with him when mulder was taken from the hospital at the start of the season, and because why else would she burn all of those photos and documents? and then i was thinking that other guy who was telling scully that mulder was faking the whole thing out of guilt would also be from CSM, trying to get her to stop poking around for answers, because maybe samantha really was still alive or had broken free from wherever she was being kept or something.

and in raising that question, i realize we got zero answers about what happened with mrs. mulder. so, this whole time, did she know her daughter was with CSM at april base, and that is why she was able to communicate that knowledge with him from the grave? and she just let him suffer looking for her his whole life because she wasn't allowed to say anything? and, if that is true, mr. mulder knew as well? is that why he got shot? but why wait so long to do that if that was the case?

i fear that none of this makes sense in the slightest. are we supposed to believe that CSM really let mulder think samantha was alive out of kindness? and then used that to manipulate him for years because he was a key part of the colonizing plans? and also, he might be their father? if he was their father, how tf could he hurt them both like that? and wouldn't the aliens realize that? and are we to think he sometimes tells the truth and sometimes lies and lies and lies, and we have to somehow sort out which is which? why would he tell scully the truth of all people? some new form of sympathy now that he is acknowledging mulder as his son? but not enough sympathy to. you know. not kill his father or infect him with alien disease or steal his partner or any of that other shit that has happened in this show?

idk, you can level with me. am i being a hater? am i overcritical? am i expecting more out of this tv program than i ought to?

or perhaps this isn't the end, and more will be revealed, and my intense hating is all for nothing. which is honestly best case scenario in my opinion, because my rage will look comical. nothing better than looking back and realizing you fell for the tricks of the narrative.

...but i have a sneaking suspicion that isn't what is going on here.

they should have just left it at paper hearts. paper hearts was SO good. they should have done anything other than half ass it. i'm so sorry, mulder, you deserve better than this writing.

#the longer i think about this the more angry i am. it makes NO SENSE.#and it is because of this fact that i am going to stop here because i fear that if i do not i will never shut tf up #so please let me know what you think and if i am being too harsh. or not harsh enough.#torn between asking someone to please tell me this isn't really the end of the samantha arc so i can stop being mad #versus “no. you must commit yourself to not being spoiled”#i leave my fate in your hands.#7x11 #juni's x files liveblog

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tauforged · 7 months ago

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anon, i won’t publish those - i respect your desire to curate your online experience and naturally you can do whatever you like. i think it’s rather unfair that you assign some calculated malicious intent to my actions thus far, as if i wanted any of this to happen the way that it did. to be frank, ive been in a panic trying to backpedal for damage control after i posted a bunch of shit w/o thinking clearly while in a really delicate and volatile mental state, something im not very good at reining in and have been trying to get better about because i recognize that i tend to panic and lash out when im triggered. it became obvious in hindsight that my going on and on about what upset me was starting to negatively affect those around me, so i stopped and deleted everything because i didn’t want to further trigger anyone, not to try and avoid accountability or whatever the fuck you think was happening. i genuinely dont remember most of what i posted because i was in such a state, but if it hadn’t been a sensitive topic i would have left it intact because i stand by my feelings on the matter. you have been reading intent into my actions that simply is not there, and it’s clear that my behavior struck a nerve and reminded you of something or someone else, and i really am sorry for that, truly. i don’t want to be the person you’re describing, and ive never outwardly tried to be.

i do also find it a bit frustrating that you accuse ME of trying to create a ‘surveillance state’ and yet you have been the one to continually come back and checked my blog time and time again to see what i’ve been up to after i have made absolutely no effort to directly engage with you further. i ahve no ill will towards you, im mostly just bummed out that things happened the way that they did, but as someone who really struggles with paranoia and Has been cyberstalked before, i cannot deny that Your behavior has been equally upsetting to Me, to a point where i feel that i can’t even vent about my mental state on my personal blog without having to worry that my words will be taken out of context and misconstrued to be about something or someone they aren’t.

i respect your decisions to want to avoid me, and i honestly feel the same at this point — all i ask is that we genuinely leave this alone and stop coming back to it. i have made no further effort to contact or check up on you once since that first interaction, and yet you keep coming back and backreading thru my blog to react to it as if everything has been directed towards you. it’s not. i quite frankly have a lot more shit going on in my life outside of losing a mutual over a misunderstanding, shit that i have no intention of going into detail about because it is so insanely wildly personal, but to put into perspective, i did not have time to respond to that first ask you sent and explain myself before you blocked me because i had just gotten home from scattering my great aunts fucking ashes. i’m sure this is evidence of me guilt tripping or whatever, since im some sinister manipulative mastermind and not a human being with my own life and bullshit going on at the other end of the screen.

…that was a bit mean, but i’m leaving it in because i’m not really in the mood to hide my frustration with you anymore. i want. to be left. alone. you told me you wanted no further contact with me — i respect that! i get it! i’ve been doing my absolute fucking best to swallow my feelings and move on, i haven’t once even attempted to see what you’ve been up to, i truly don’t care. so why do YOU keep coming back?

i’m not changing your mind with any of this, and i’m okay with that. frankly, i don’t want anything more to do with you. i just want you to consider that your actions are more than capable of hurting people in the future, before someone else touches the same nerve and gets dragged into the same pointless slap fight with you. it’s very clear that you think i’m in the wrong here - again, that’s fine, i don’t blame you - and have been looking for further proof that i’m the villain here to make yourself feel better about reacting harshly. frankly, i don’t want to be responsible for your feelings. if i was the one who kept coming back to you and starting it up again, you would (rightfully) think i was a fucking lunatic. i don’t think you’re TRYING to hurt me, i truly do understand where you’re coming from here, but you have hurt me nonetheless and i need you to stop.

all i ask at this point is that nobody talk about me behind my back or make bizarre claims about my mental health. if that isn’t you, then i truly have no quarrel with you. i’m respecting your desire to be left alone - please respect mine. it’s done. please just stop. this whole thing has taken a tremendous toll on my mental health, and i have more important things to be working on than constantly being retriggered by tumblr drama on top of it all. i am begging you at this point to drop it so that i can move on the way i’ve been so desperately trying to.

i hope you can move on and have a great rest of your day, and i truly honestly do mean that. i have no ill will towards you, though ive been told by friends that i am being far too lenient here. i did not want it to happen the way it did, but it’s done now. please just leave it alone.

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turneradora · 8 months ago

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'RIVALS

‘Lots and lots of sex': Dame Jilly Cooper on her show Rivals

"Would you like a large drink?"

A visit to Dame Jilly Cooper’s house in the Cotswolds is everything you would hope it would be.

It's just after midday, as displayed on the numerous clocks on the packed walls of her hall and living rooms. Almost every surface inch is taken up with art, family photos, framed cartoons or sporting memorabilia - including, rather unexpectedly, a signed Emile Heskey Liverpool shirt.

Despite the relatively early hour, the writer of some of the best-selling novels of the 1980s is keen to share the contents of her drinks cabinet.

She believes in providing old-school hospitality at the former 14th Century monks' dormitory she has called home for more than 40 years, and where she lived with her husband Leo until his death in 2013.

Earlier, on the way into her village, we drove past a jodhpur-clad gent on a horse, who gave us a roguish, charming smile. He could have ridden straight off the pages of one of her Rutshire Chronicles books.

Her so-called "bonkbusters" - a term Dame Jilly does not like - were set in the world of the horse-owning, bed-swapping, countryside-residing upper classes.

"Low morals and high fences" is how she rather perfectly sums up the books. With their mix of sex and scandal, they were publishing sensations.

The second of the books, 1988's Rivals, has just been adapted into an eight-part Disney+ series with an all-star cast including Aidan Turner, David Tennant, Danny Dyer, Victoria Smurfit and Emily Atack.

Dame Jilly served as an executive producer, which is why we have been invited to pay her a visit, although she does not want to claim credit for what she describes as an "absolutely wonderful" adaptation.

"How much of a say did I have? Not much," she laughs, explaining that her grandson Jago was a runner on the production, so when she went visited the set, she was better known as "Jago's granny".

She suggested some changes, though.

"I did occasionally say, 'No, I don't think they should be jumping on each other quite so early in the story' and things like that."

'Sex, drinking and parties'

Set in the world of 1980s TV, Dame Jilly is relieved that the most outlandish sensibilities and plotlines of Rivals have not been toned down for a more sensitive 2024 audience.

In the first episode, before even the opening credits, a pair of fully exposed male buttocks are on display during a "mile-high" sex scene on Concorde.

"That was not in the book," she nods approvingly.

"It’s fun. It’s quite naughty too." She pauses, before adding: "There is a lot of sex. In one episode they have every member of the cast coupled and fornicating for the next 20 minutes and all of that."

Dame Jilly sounds rather shocked by what she saw. "Well, 87 is very old and you do forget about sex," she offers by way of explanation.

When I ask her what in life makes her blush, she gives a rather surprising answer. "Books I wrote in the old days. Because I'm amazed at some of the things I wrote about. They are quite strong."

It turns out that she is currently in the middle of re-reading Rivals to swot up ahead of more interviews about the show.

"Lots and lots and lots of sex," is her review.

"The 80s really were the most fun time," she muses.

"Masses of sex, masses of drinking, masses of parties. The younger generation all wish they had been born then."

However, she's quick to point out that one of the most non-MeToo-friendly aspects of the TV series, when an uninvited bum grope is used as a replacement for a chat-up line, wasn't in the print version.

There are many aspects of the 1980s for which she is nostalgic, in particular what she perceives as a major change in the dynamics of relationships.

"I think women are much tougher, much stronger and much more forthright. And I think men are much, much less macho. I mean, macho has gone. You are not allowed to be macho.

"Women are stronger and men are weaker, therefore there is not so much sexual desire between them," is her summation.

She also believes there is another contributing factor to a decline in modern love lives.

"Everybody jogs. They get up in the morning, they jog all around the countryside for hours. They do exercises. That’s what they do now. They don't have sex any more. They are far too tired to have sex now. Jogging is bad for people's love life. Ruinous."

Back in the 1980s, the idea of Jilly Cooper teaming up with Disney would have seemed as likely as Rivals being chosen for Jackanory.

There is no doubt that she's thrilled by the collaboration.

"I loved Disney as a child. Passionately. Dumbo, Bambi."

There are many aspects of the 1980s for which she is nostalgic, in particular what she perceives as a major change in the dynamics of relationships.

"I think women are much tougher, much stronger and much more forthright. And I think men are much, much less macho. I mean, macho has gone. You are not allowed to be macho.

"Women are stronger and men are weaker, therefore there is not so much sexual desire between them," is her summation.

She also believes there is another contributing factor to a decline in modern love lives.

Back in the 1980s, the idea of Jilly Cooper teaming up with Disney would have seemed as likely as Rivals being chosen for Jackanory.

There is no doubt that she's thrilled by the collaboration.

"I loved Disney as a child. Passionately. Dumbo, Bambi."

In previous adaptations of her work, Dame Jilly was not happy with the casting of "the handsomest man in England" Rupert Campbell-Black, the fictional former Olympian and future Conservative MP, notorious for his conquests in the boardroom and the bedroom.

This time, the part has gone to the English actor Alex Hassell, who starred in His Dark Materials. In Rivals, he is seen without any material at all, courtesy of a nude tennis scene.

"They interviewed 600 people for that one," reveals Dame Jilly, who was delighted with the final choice, despite some obvious differences to her literary creation.

"He's very handsome. Rupert's blond-haired and blue-eyed in the book, but he's become dark and dark-eyed. But he’s very sexy."

Further details about her main character are explained during a walk with Dame Jilly through her large garden, as she points out the view over a valley, which inspired the literary location of his mansion.

She also guides us to small two-storey outbuilding, gently announcing: "I wrote Rivals in there. Above a room with all the garden tools. It was very quiet."

The only hard part about interviewing Dame Jilly is trying to stop her continually asking her own questions, such is her enthusiasm and interest in every aspect of life.

She reveals that until Rivals she had never heard of Danny Dyer ("he's lovely, quite shy"), the aspect of modern life which most frustrates her is inheritance tax, and she is not a fan of the concept of internet dating ("awful").

She also enjoyed looking back at a busy year, which has included having a damehood bestowed on her by King Charles.

It turns out he used the occasion to pass on some betting tips. "He laughed and said, 'By the way, if you are going to Ascot, we’ve got some rather good horses'."

There was also an invitation to Downing Street by the then Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, who had revealed himself to be a fan of her books. "He was lovely," she enthuses.

"The King. A prime minister. I’ve got about a bit," she giggles. "There was me saying I never meet men any more."

One thing she will not be doing is writing anymore Rutshire Chronicles: "No, I think Rupert’s old enough now."

However, this TV version of Rivals, only goes up to halfway through the novel, so if successful, the plan would be more seasons.

"I hope so, yes," she beams. "That would keep us all very happy for the next few years."

We are invited to take a seat at the kitchen table, followed by an offer of cakes and more suggestions of stiff drinks.

When I ask if a cup of tea could be an alternative, a look combining disappointment, disapproval and pity comes over her face.

Once again, modern man has let Dame Jilly Cooper down.

Rivals is on Disney+ from 18 October.

#aidanturnerinternational #séries #rivals #declan #Aidanturner

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manofmanymons · 1 year ago

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I know this sounds somewhat hypocritical as someone who loves Survive and Hollow Knight very very very much, one of the biggest things that puts me off from series is when there's too much death and/or general carnage. And it's not even that I'm sensitive to gore or can't handle some death.

It's that once everyone starts dying, I stop having fun! I'm not enjoying cool action scenes because everyone I liked is dead, but I'm not even properly sad about any of the deaths anymore because goddamn everyone else is fuckin dead am I supposed to be surprised now? You can only cram so many emotional scenes into a short period of story before I completely stop feeling anything at all.

The reason I like Survive anyways is because there's a truthful route where everyone lives, and even if there wasn't, there's still the moral route where most of them live. If it was JUST the wrathful route or JUST the harmony route I'd fuckin hate it! The fact that that would be a dreadfully short game notwithstanding, I'd be pretty pissed if I spent so much time gaining affinity with these characters and watching them bond with each other and the mc just for the game to end with half of them dead and the other half living in a post apocalyptic hellhole. As full games those routes are ass! But existing as they are as just extreme hypotheticals of what could have happened to these characters if just a few more things went wrong and they weren't as strong of a team, and we get to learn more about them by seeing how they act when pushed to the brink...yeah that is fun. It's like "well I know that this character is okay but it's cool seeing what COULD have but did not happen to them." And you know what despite Ryo literally being one of my favorite characters, I still would've loved Survive just fine without the truthful route because the moral route is a very good stand alone story of a bunch of kids who were met with tragedy but only became closer because of it and still managed to find a happy ending for themselves.

And Hollow Knight, well. For one it's largely helped by the fact that it is a video game and not a show, therefore the fact that it is just INCREDIBLY fun to play goes a long way in making me mentally insane about it. But it's not just that! From the very start of the game you KNOW you're playing through something sad. The sad doesn't sneak up on you, it's always there. Rather than playing through the downfall of a kingdom, you're exploring the ruins of a once-beautiful kingdom, learning what happened to it, meeting the inhabitants, befriending the last little glimmers of hope in this dying world, and fighting to save them. And yeah depending on the player's actions you lose a few of them along the way, but a) as I said some of them only die depending on what the player does, and b) I feel like enough of them have satisfying endings that I'm not too fixated on the ones that die. Ofc Quirrel being probably dead bums me out, and it sucks that you can't do anything for Myla, but hey, your homie Elderbug is fine, Cornifer is fine, you can save Cloth and even Zote if you'd like. Your Mantis buddies are still around. Brumm can be having a silly good time OR you might have a son now. Idk to me HK is finding hope and happiness amid despair rather than losing hope and falling into despair.

Unlike series that are like whee we're a fun action adventure--just kidding everyone is dead.

Oh well we started sad but if everyone works together then maybe there's hope that--psych they are all in fact still dead.

What a silly goofy show about kids having a fun--lmao you fell for that? Nah they're dead too.

Obviously other people are into that otherwise there wouldn't be so many popular series that do that but my god do I hate it literally every single time I have never once gone "you know what this story IS better now that none of my favs are in it and whoever's left has been doing nothing but fighting nonstop without an ounce of the playfulness or humor that originally drew me into this series."

#killing a few characters #even major ones #for the sake of setting the tone and upping the stakes is perfectly fine #even if the show did start out more lighthearted and this is the authors ways of indicating that A Shift is occurring that's fine #but idk the second a series turns into a blood bath and they're just killin fuckin anyone #im not even sad anymore im just bored #it's so boooooooooooriiiiiiiing

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kinetic-elaboration · 1 year ago

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December 12: Work Shit

Today was such a shitty day. And for the most dumb-fuck reasons too. There was work drama in the morning so incredibly inane I am embarrassed to post about it in a pubic space but the tl;dr of it is that I had no opinions about the thing, but was still the brunt of others’ (an other’s really) annoyance about it. We kept saying ‘it’s not personal’ as we spoke harshly to each but it felt SO personal, and I just couldn’t get over it for pretty much the rest of the day. I am quite sure it wounded me more and affected me for longer than anyone else. I want to be like ‘please don’t do this to me, I am a sensitive flower, I am easily emotionally decimated’ but also like ‘I am not bothered at all (lying), I am strong and fine, I am above this, I am not engaging because there is nothing to engage with.’

Again, there was nothing to engage with. But it just made me feel so shitty. I still feel kind of sad even now, to be honest. I was so bummed out and tired that I took a nap as soon as I got home (after a bus ride sitting in front of someone who was yelling into their phone and kept saying ‘no one can hear me! It’s the bus!’—um? We can all hear you because it’s the bus?). There was probably nothing else for me to do but of course now I am up late because it takes a while to wake up again from a nap, then I am all riled up and easily distracted. So I will go to sleep at a stupid hour again, and also have accomplished nothing with my paltry post-work hours.

Fuck I’m so depressed. This is such a depressing train of thought.

Anyway, yesterday I mentioned at work that I had never seen a single episode of Doctor Who (this is the truth: I think I saw a partial episode on TV, but not even the whole thing) and this shocked my co-worker considerably. She said it was incredibly surprising of me or something of that nature. And I do not know how to take this. I mean, probably what she means is ‘you are known as someone who likes science fiction and is rather nerdy’ and these are true things and also positive reputations to have. But I have literally never given the slightest fuck about Doctor Who lmao. I can’t tell you why, but it obviously doesn’t feel weird to me that I don’t because I never have! Obviously I’ve been in a lot of spaces that are sort of Who-adjacent (fandom, tumblr, nerd-dom, crossover appeal with other stuff I like) but it’s never been tempting or intriguing at all. It’s not on my list.

What I said was just like… a non-answer that sounded like an answer based on my tone of voice. Like, ‘Hmmm, well I’ve seen a partial episode on TV and I’ve seen Torchwood.’ This is all true but does not at all address the surprise or the reasons of my not being interested. I was surprised by her surprise, I don’t have good reasons, and also all I could say would probably read as insulting to Who fans, one of whom was in the room.

I think part of it is, honestly, that my mom isn’t into Doctor Who, and so I did not have anyone getting me into it at a formative time. Not that people can’t get into Who independently and not that I haven’t gotten into things independently but I just… I really think that in this particular instance, if she had been into it, I would have been. My mom being into Torchwood is the reason I watched it (well… 2-ish seasons). She thinks Who is a kids’ show and while it’s probably more a family show, that opinion really influenced my non-desire to watch it.

Another part is that I’m sort of a sci-fi poser in a way. I hate to admit it but it’s true. I love that people think of me as a sci fi fan and I think of myself that way too but I am NOT well read. I’m more like an ST:TOS fan with aspirations to sci fi fandom. This isn’t to say I want to pick up Who (or Dune, the other piece of science fiction I was strangely assumed to be familiar with), but I do want to be more well-read in some classic sci fi literature, as well as be more aware of like modern sci fi stuff. Especially books. There are very few sci fi TV series that interest me. A couple but not a ton.

I also have a weird definition of science fiction which is, it’s science fiction if it FEELS like science fiction to me, personally, the arbiter of all things. Some media are in the sense that they can’t be anything else, I guess, but they don’t feel like science fiction to me and so I’m not interested, which is a weird and irrational and unreasonable thing for me to say, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m sad so there it is.

#the year 2023 #2023: rl #better for me if everyone thinks i'm a closed book.... i'm really not but maybe i should be?

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technetiumai · 2 years ago

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Postcards to Penelope

I’m starting a new project! And I’m hoping to find some helpers/collaborators!

I’m psyching myself out a little with posting this, so I’m just going to put what I wrote in the description of the interest form (here’s the form, btw: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSecj8EbP26XDPjpqyqhsgjlMjA4GaMZjc-dTPiSCdEcl5Q3Ow/viewform?usp=sf_link). So if you read this, you don’t need to worry about reading that.

I’m looking for people to participate in the execution of a fic told through postcards sent to willing members of the fandom, with history slowly being released online in the form of Penny and Shepard's notes to each other in road atlases, cryptozoological texts, VW bus manuals, and the manuscript pages from books they've written/are writing together.

It is current day 2023, and Shepard and Penelope have been travelling around the US doing magickal research for several years. Penny heads back to the UK for a short period of time, leaving Shepard to fend for himself. He takes this opportunity to do more in depth research into the quiet zones.

What I need:

Primarily---Postcard Recipients:

People (US only for this part of it) who are willing to have postcards sent to them, and post them somewhere where other members of the fandom can see them once they've received them.

The fic works under the conceit that Penelope has spelled scraps of paper with her name on them for Shepard to paste to his postcards/letters to her, so that they will arrive in the mail wherever she happens to be.

The actual people receiving the postcards will be supplied with these scraps so that they can use them to cover their real addresses.

The reason it is restricted to the US is because that's 45 cents/postcard vs. $1.45. I'm pretty bummed about that, but it is what it is.

Yes, Shepard is using US postage and it is still reaching Penny in the UK, it's part of the spell, roll with it!

Secondarily---Lore Contributors:

If there is anyone unable or unwilling to participate in the snail mail portion of this, I am going to need to go

deep

into lore, particularly of the American folk legend, urban legend, cryptid, and American-maybes-and magickal-places-(which I have taken to calling 'maples' in my head)-that-we don't-know-about varieties, and am hoping that people may be willing to collaborate with that portion of it.

This role can take up as much or as little of your time as you want. It does not have to take up any more of your time than you might spend talking about fan theories on discord (or indeed any time at all, if you change your mind about participating), it will just take place in Google Drive documents or rather than discord or tumblr, to avoid spoilers for anyone not participating.

I will have documents laying out what I am using as accepted canon within this universe and documents, that will be able to be edited by anyone with a link, that will contain particular questions that I specifically am trying to answer within my story and any ideas that anyone involved wants to contribute.

If it seems kind of silly that I'm trying to take extra steps to crowd-source this part of the fic (which it kind of does to me, which is why I bring it up) I am basically trying to write the entire history, metaphysics, physics, etc. of the entirety of the magickal US (and extending into the rest of North America), which I don't think I can do alone, nor do I think I should.

Anyone contributing will be given credit, and if this project, or portions of it, are posted on AO3 they will receive joint writing credit/the fic as a gift/credit in the notes, as they see fit.

Anyone who has any ability to give sensitivity input as to the inclusion of Native American legendary creatures and locations would be particularly appreciated.

You can not be a lore contributor if you are receiving postcards.

Tertiarily---Agent of Chaos:

If anyone wants

even deeper

involvement in the project, I'm looking for one person who might want to be a full collaborator. I'm very interested in the idea of a person playing a third party magickal force, where I am Shepard and Penny (and the postcard receivers are also Penny, to a certain extent), and this collaborator is acting as a force to prevent/confuse/f*ck with Shepard and Penny's communications.

This person and I would workshop what exactly the role of this person would be.

I imagine my writing a bundle of pre-written, pre-addressed, pre-stamped post cards to this person, and they do.... something? Like I said, we'll workshop it XD. This idea is clear as mud to me, but I love it enough I just wanted to put it out there.

Unfortunately this will possibly also need to be someone in the US? (But we can talk about it.)

Where the lore contributors will only have special access to world-building elements, and postcard recipients will only be engaging with the story as it happens, if there is an agent of chaos, they would likely either be instrumental in the creation of the entire plot, or would at least be aware of it (or at least as aware as I am XD).

Here’s the interest form again: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSecj8EbP26XDPjpqyqhsgjlMjA4GaMZjc-dTPiSCdEcl5Q3Ow/viewform?usp=sf_link

People who expressed interest (in the form of ‘eyes’ and ‘zoomeyes’ reactions on discord 😂): @martsonmars @raenestee @skeedelvee ... I guess that’s everyone who’s tumblr I know.

#Carry On #Postcards to Penelope

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maginxlia · 3 years ago

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Starring Nanami, Gojo, Toji And Sukuna Ryomen In a Holiday Dinner with Your Family

Rated R

Contains Foul Language And Suggestive themes

I told y'all that I would be posting again this week 🍁 Happy Holidays y'all💖 I hope y'all get to enjoy time with your family and friends this season while staying safe💖 I love all of y'all and I hope this add some excitement to y'all day 💖 I am very thankful (and Appreciative!) for all the support and love y'all give me and I'm wishing all of y'all well✨

Nanami Kento

Nanami is actually very excited to meet your folks and enjoy different types of food

So when you explained how you wanted to travel to go see your family for The Holiday, He was more than willing and able

Really wants to make a good first Impression like the perfect gentleman he is

Asks you about what the Etiquette in your family and Will remember everything you say

If Your family the type to Separate Unmarried couples (Same) He will respect their boundaries and their home

When you arrive he carries y'all bags in and remove your coat for you

Type to wait for you to introduce him and your folks before he goes around shaking hands

If food is being prepared he will offer to help

Actually ask your folks can he please prepare a dish for the Dinner that reminds him of home (Ofc he go out and buys his own ingredients)

He gift your uncles a bottle of Expensive Rum

Let's you make him a plate when the dinner starts

Uncles egg him on to add to the Prayer; Which he does amazing job making the Uncles impressed

Nanami actually have the Aunties drooling with his mannerisms and his sophisticated aura also he handsome like of the actors from a black and white movie

When the Uncles starts Drilling him on what he do for a living, Nanami Just smile and tells them he works for the government (Cousins in the background going "DAMN that means he makes good money")

This Man love all the food but the Homemade Mac & cheeses and yams is sending him

Nosy ass Family Elder starts asking about Grandbabies and Marriage🤦🏾‍♀️ He simply says that Marriage is definitely in the cards for the future and maybe Babies too but he's wants to wait a little longer because his job makes him travel a lot and you deserve a husband who always gonna be there🥺

When the dinner festivities has ended the Uncles invite him to watch the game with them, He impressed them with the fact he can hold his liquor so well; Everybody else is drunk while Nanami is slightly buzzed

Overall impression 10/10

Gojo Satoru

Gojo is Hyped OFF THE WALLS HYPE

Yes babe I will love to go see your Family and Eat some good food- Gojo Satoru 2021

Asks you for your Family members names and descriptions while on the trip there

When you arrive at your folks place Gojo is holding your bags and ready to Greet them like old friends

He knows he's very charming and is going to make a good impression easily either way

He is rather bummed about sleeping in a separate room from you but he will get over it

Keeps his sunglasses on but you already told your folks that he's sensitive to light and not he's trying to hide his Pretty eyes, So they don't take it as disrespect

If you help in the kitchen he will ask do you need anything and will try to assist But Baby don't let him, it's a ploy for him to sneak samples.

At the Dinner tho shit gets mad serious, He wants all the food and will ask you for three plates for him to eat in one sitting (With his Greedy ass)

Aunties whispering to each other because 1. he's sexy and 2. Rather funny. Mans has the ability to draw people to him without even trying

When the uncles start asking him about his occupation he smiles and says that he's a teacher, mentor and have good paying government career (Cousins and Aunties are shaking)

Theres lots of jokes and drinking go on But Gojo Has one major excess and that is Dressing with the homemade Cranberry sauce, After his third helping of Dressing He start talking too loosely

When the Nosy ass Family Elder start asking Questions about why there isn't any babies with y'all Gojo Quickly replied "it's not because of The lack of Trying"🤷🏾‍♀️ OOPS (Aunties and Uncles SHOOK)

Gojo doesn't Join the uncles to watch the ball game because he doesn't want to risk get plastered

He will find you and go hunting for a quiet space in the house for some Alone time but the moment he’s comfortable he's falling asleep because his belly is too full

Overall impression 8/10

Fushiguro Toji

Hell no Toji doesn't want to go but will because he cares for you and this is something important to you

Is Grumpy the whole time you're traveling, He doesn't have a great relationship with his own family and Really isn't about all this but he's trying

Effortlessly carry y'all bags into your old room before one of your family members asked him is y'all married? No? Well you gotta sleep in separate bedrooms then

Toji is pissed. You help him sleep better and he can't fully grasp why your family are pulling y'all apart. It's because of Respect? He has seen you naked more than he can count and the things he has done with you would make your family try to jump him if they knew.

He begrudgingly takes the guest room but he's not happy

The first thing he do when he unpacked is checked your room windows and the room he's staying in windows, Then he hides his weapons in the guest room because he'll be damned if he's caught slipping

Mans Really is quiet. your family is surprised at how quiet he walks plus his fast reflexes got them questioning shit

He stays in the guest room for the most part and only comes out when he's called for dinner

Fix his own plate last because he doesn't want people judging what he picks

His lips stay together until one of the uncles ask him what is his profession which Toji replied "I'm a traveling contractor" Now everybody is curious, The same uncle asked him how much that pays which Toji simply replied couple of thousands per contract ( Aunties, Cousins and parentals alike going😳)

Toji is back to being quiet until the Nosy ass family elder fixed their lips to ask Toji about babies🤦🏾‍♀️ He quickly replied that he's allergic to children (One of your cousins had the audacity to say that's code word for Deadbeat Dad Boo) Toji is not pleased.

After Dinner he Bonds with the uncles over football even tho he doesn't care for liquor he still had hella fun

At night Toji will sneak into your room to have some X rated fun with you and your family will never know that he even was there

Overall impression 6/10

Ryomen Sukuna

Meeting your Family? Being included in the festivities? Sukuna is delighted that you would include him in all this BUT Yuuji has objections

Yuuji doesn't trust Sukuna in a new environment so Yuuji will be the face of the whole operation

Yuuji is the perfect soft boyfriend that your folks thinks you deserve (If they only knew)

Introduction go so well and He doesn't say anything when a they mention a separate room for you two

He offer a helping hand In the kitchen and help set the table all while Sukuna is Raging in his head

Your little cousins, Nieces and Nephews loves him

Dinner goes beautifully, Yuuji get his plate fixed with your help at explaining the foods

Aunties thinks he just the Cutest and is very sweet

When Questioned about what he do for living Yuuji tells them that he's a university student and he have multiple legal side gigs (Cousins in the background saying HES A EDUCATED HUSTLER)

Yuuji is enjoying the food a little too much tho The potato salad got him Dreaming

Before The Nosy ass Family Elder could even ask their questions, Yuuji Excuse himself to go to the restroom because Sukuna is livid and pissed How could Yuuji sit there indulge himself while ignoring him

Don't get me Wrong Sukuna is about to wreck some shit up but what stops him is the fact this means a lot to you and he can't forgive himself if he over reacts so He comes a agreement with Yuuji that as long as he can get control that and eat some food for himself; he will be okay.

Yuuji Returns just in time to help clear the table

He sits with the uncles for a little bit and watch the game but he soon go to his room for some rest

Right When your family is either asleep or went to their own places Sukuna will lurk and hunt you out.

He's silent as he opens your door and wakes you gently, his claws slightly scratching your arms while his eyes stares intently into your own sleepy eyes..... I am Hungry My pet, The brat promised me a feast and I've been oh so patient Sukuna says deeply yet quietly

With your assistance he gets to Gorge himself on the left overs, what I am sayings is that there wasn't any leftovers when he got done lmao

Sukuna get you in a lot of trouble if you fall for his seduction so be prepared to get caught By the parentals because The King of Curses always give you something that makes it hard for you be quiet😉

Yuuji Impression 10/10

Yuuji impression if Sukuna get y'all asses caught 1/10

Likes, Comments, Reblogs and Requests is Hella appreciated and Loved💖 Please don't Steal My shit.

#headcanons #jjk headcanons #black writer #gojo saturo x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jutsu kaisen #nanami x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #nanami kento x reader #nanami x you #toji fushiguro x you #toji x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #Sukuna x reader #gojou satoru x you #gojo x reader #anime x reader

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anashins · 4 years ago

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Nearly Just as Good (M) || Taeyong

“What if I tell you there is something that doesn’t involve sex, but is nearly just as good?"

You’re not ready to lose your virginity yet, but your boyfriend has another idea how to give you a feeling nearly just as good.

______

Taeyong looked at you with a sympathetic gaze, the corners of his lips tilting down.

“What are you so sad for, y/n?” he asked you with worry in his voice.

You looked at your backpack in the corner that you had brought along to your first sleepover at his dorm, and you suddenly felt your stomach sink. Regret was spreading inside of you instead of happiness over the situation, and you only wanted to grab your belongings and drive back home.

You wholeheartedly wanted to be happy, but you couldn’t, because you knew what a guy was expecting from a girl staying the night. But you weren’t just ready yet, and you were afraid that Taeyong might be mad at you for that.

Closing your eyes, you shook your head. “I’m sorry, I just can’t do this yet. I’m not… ready.”

“Ready for what?” Taeyong asked desperately. “Please just tell me what makes you so upset, y/n! Did I do something wrong?” And with a lower voice, he added, “Do you regret coming here?”

“Yes!” you suddenly blurted out and opened your eyes again, but then shook your head. “I mean no! No, I don’t regret coming here. I love you, and I want to spend the night with you, but I just don’t want to go down there yet.”

“There?” Taeyong tilted his head in confusion. “With there you mean...?”

His innocent mindset was so cute sometimes, but now you found it hard to deal with since you had to speak it out loud yourself. It made you feel embarrassed too.

“Sex. I mean sex. I’m not ready for that yet, and before you probably get your hopes up, I want you to know that… I’m not quite there yet.”

When he didn’t answer immediately, you mentally prepared yourself to go home again. Anything would be better than sitting together on the bed with no words to exchange anymore.

“I wasn’t even expecting that from tonight, so why would you?” Taeyong then returned, obviously confused.

“Well…” Now that you had to explain it, you didn’t even know how to begin.

You had measured your relationship on cliché standards, wrong expectations and stereotypes, and you suddenly felt very ashamed about that.

In the months that you had been together, Taeyong had never done something to make you ever doubt him, and now you were the one doubting him without even having a reason to, except for your own made up fears.

You buried your face in your hands to hide your embarrassment, but felt his warm arms around you only moments later.

“I know that you’re still a virgin, y/n. And I would never do something that will put you under pressure,” he told you softly. “For tonight, I have only planned on watching movies and then sleeping in together, cuddling side by side. As I’ve told you before, I will always wait until you’re ready for me. That’s a promise.”

“Thank you,” you said to him and hugged him back. “I mean… kissing and cuddling, that’s fine as well. Anything besides sex is fine.”

“What if I tell you there is something that doesn’t involve sex, but is nearly just as good? And you don’t even have to undress yourself fully.”

You raised your brows and let go of him. “Nearly just as good?”

“Only if you want to. I mean… we’ve already undressed ourselves a bit several times. It’s not much more, but definitely nearly just as good as the real thing.”

You pondered over it. If you weren’t ready to take the final step yet, then perhaps, baby steps were the exact right thing for you since it would bring you a bit closer to your aim. Not having to undress yourself fully took a huge weight off your shoulders already.

Willingly, you then finally nodded. “If there is one person in the world that I trust the most, then it’s you Taeyong.”

“Are you sure?” he asked again.

“Yes. Totally. Now, show me.”

“Very well.”

Taeyong brought you close to him and kissed you first, gently and chastely. That was how he usually started off, and sooner or later, it would get heated anyway.

You shuddered when his hands found their way under your shirt, but you weren’t scared or anything since you had done this several times already during your uncountable make out sessions.

Slowly, Taeyong unbottonened your shirt, one button after another. He then parted the clothing and ran his palms over your exposed sides to hold onto your waist and placed you onto the mattress.

You let him kiss your lips tenderly as it slowly got steamier when Taeyong held onto your face with his one hand, the other arm supporting the position of his body. He knew that he had to lead you through this, but being aware of your instincts, he was sure you would just go with the flow.

You fiddled with the hem of his shirt, running your hands over his jogger’s waistband. Knowing what you were intending, Taeyong broke the kiss to sit up and pull his shirt over his head, leaving behind a messy hairstyle. You smiled shyly, even though you were quite familiar with this view.

Your gaze ran over his body, and never had you thought that someone could look so attractive like Taeyong did now. It almost made you teary-eyed when you thought that it was you whom he chose to be with.

“What?” Taeyong then asked with an almost shocked expression as your gaze laid on him a little too long.

But you only shook your head. “I’m just… so lucky to have you.”

He crawled up to you, placing himself on top as he cupped your face, a fond smile spreading across his lips. His nose touched yours and your gazes were interlocked when he assured you, “I love you.”

The kiss that followed was gentle and sweet, one only true lovers shared.

Taeyong then reached under your body and brought you up, placing you on his lap with your legs on either side of him. He revealed your shoulders by pulling your shirt down to your arms, not taking it off fully, though. His lips wandered along your jaw and stopped on your neck, placing warm kisses there.

And then it was that sensational feeling again which made you suddenly gasp.

That feeling from the last time that you had experienced when you made out like this. That feeling that you had never come across before, but that made you feel so good that you couldn’t bear down a quiet whimper.

You wrapped your arms around Taeyong’s neck and instinctively brought your body closer to his.

“Taeyong, I—“

You held onto him as he bucked his hips, lifting it from time to time so that it brushed against your womanhood through the fabrics you were still wearing. The fact that you were only dressed in your skirt from your waist downwards, your intimate parts only covered by a thin layer of silky panties, intensified the feeling for you even more.

You were placed right on his crotch, the pressure and the rubbing even causing Taeyong to feel what you felt.

He grasped your neck and pulled you closer, feeling how embarrassed you slowly got as you moved your hips with him. It was your instinct, but it was still so unfamiliar that you didn’t know whether what you were doing was right or foolish.

You leaned your forehead against his shoulder, your hands resting on his slightly sweaty back, clinging onto him. Taeyong could hear your light whimpers… how you tried so hard to resist, but still wanted to enjoy it. His moves were still slowly rocking ones so as to not push you too far.

Taeyong kissed your shoulder, moving your bra strap aside. First the right one, then the left one. But he didn’t take it off, and also not your shirt. As he had promised you, he wouldn’t go further with undressing than the times before.

“y/n,” he then whispered as he stopped, feeling your weak and trembling body against his.

He brought your head up and placed his palms on each side of your face. You had turned hot and all messy, but it was still as sexy as hell for Taeyong. Nervously, you bit your bottom lip and looked down, unsure what to do.

But he lifted up your chin and kissed you tenderly. “Just… move with me. Let me make you feel good.”

For a moment, you just looked into one another’s eyes, and then finally, you nodded.

Gently, Taeyong lifted you up and placed you back onto the sheets before he crawled up to you and positioned himself in between your thighs with your skirt spreading around your waist.

He didn’t move instantly. Instead, he kissed down your neck, caressing your cleavage with soft butterfly kisses which caused you goosebumps. His lips were soft and warm, his touches on your ribs tender and delicate.

He moved further to your half-exposed breasts, kissing your sensitive skin feathery-lightly and trailed down until he reached the fabric of your bra.

You got startled as Taeyong’s hips then gently rolled into yours, and you gasped for air. The pace was slow and romantic, he rocked against you with not much pressure, but with just the right rhythm and pace. Instinctively, like before, you moved your hips with his, making them rock with one another.

Taeyong’s forehead rested against yours and every now and then, he leaned in to kiss you, to pay more attention to you as his lover as well rather than only what your hips were doing.

“Ohhh, Taeyong, I—“

You wanted to describe to him what was going on in you. A pleasant feeling was coiling up in your groin, shooting waves through your body which you couldn’t really define.

That feeling seemed so far away, yet so close every time Taeyong’s erection rubbed along your folds.

The pressure gave you a certain stimulation, but it was still not enough to reach out to that feeling, you sensed it. There was something to be released, but you didn’t know how and if it was ever possible.

“Taeyong, I---… I can’t seem to…”

With a delicate smile, he shook his head and pecked your lips. “You can. Just… continue.”

And then, he brought his hands under your bum and heaved you up, stabilizing you in this position and gyrating his hips on yours with a stronger pressure than before.

“Ahhh—“

With one hand, you clutched the sheet to your right, with the other, you dug your fingers into Taeyong’s shoulder as you closed your eyes to the feeling that the friction gave you.

You wrapped your legs around his middle and hooked your ankles. The pleasure zapped down to your toes, intensifying as Taeyong put more strength into swiveling.

Now, you thrusted your hips up, either of you finding the right pace to meet one another in a rhythmic state.

Taeyong could go faster, he could go stronger – but he didn’t, to avoid the temptation to go all the way. His erection was stiff as hell, and he knew that he wouldn’t make it long anymore. His movements became a little desperate, seeking for release as he worked hard against you.

The more you continued, the closer the feeling, the release, seemed to get to you. The faster you moved, the more pressure you put in, the closer that feeling got within your reach. Soon, you were going to explode, you knew it.

“Oh god!!” you suddenly shrieked, your body arching into Taeyong’s as you wrapped your arms around his neck and clung onto him. Just a little bit more...

Taeyong buried his face in the crook of your neck and closed his eyes, supporting your position with the strength of his arms. He tried so hard not to cum himself at this moment, but just concentrated on you.

He muttered your name, but he didn’t need to say anything else other than your name anyway. It just took him a few more faster and stronger strokes over your sensitive point which brought you over the edge.

Your first orgasm broke over you like a liberating rain in the desert, like a summer drizzle during a hot day, like a high wave at the beach. It shot through your body within seconds, blossoming in every part of you, in every fiber, filling you up to your fingertips.

Taeyong kissed your jaw and pulled you a little closer as you twisted in his arms, the most sensational feeling you had ever experienced taking control of you.

You glorified it, riding the wave up to its highest point and slowly calming down after it rolled over you.

You blinked a few times, trying to keep you breathing regularly again as Taeyong placed you back onto the mattress, a loving smile spreading across his lips.

You traced your fingertips along the sweaty skin on his back, slowly feeling what he had been up to and how much he had been trying to fight against his own release.

So you tried something you had never done before.

You reached out your hand and stroked his hard-on that was hidden under his joggers. He looked at you in surprise but you just returned a confident smile at him. Yes, you were sure you wanted that, and you’d let him know.

Taeyong’s mouth fell apart in pleasure as he felt his release coming with your stroking motions against his strained erection. He clenched his eyes shut and grinded against your hand simultaneously.

He dropped his head, nuzzling against your shoulder, panting hot against your skin. His breathing irregular, fast.

“Taeyong. Just… let go.”

And like it was a command, Taeyong didn’t try to delay his release anymore. He pulled away from you, your upper bodies separating as he rose his head, releasing himself all over in his joggers.

He showed his prominent chest and strong collarbones, making you watch him in awe. Taeyong’s lips escaped a throaty groan and he shut his eyes for a moment, biting his lip right after as his motions against your sex slowed.

Taeyong cumming above you was beautiful, and it was the sexiest and hottest thing you had ever witnessed.

He leaned in and kissed you plumply on your cheek before he laid himself next to you and pulled you into his arms.

“Taeyong, that…”

“Did I overpromise?”

You didn’t see his face, but his chest heaving up and down told you that he was giggling, and it was proven by his sound only a moment later.

You didn’t know what to say further. You didn’t even know what you really felt. It was the most intense and pleasurable feeling you had ever encountered. And you wanted more.

Was that how one always felt after an orgasm?

If that came as close to the feeling that sex would bring you, then there was no need to be scared of the act itself anymore in the future, you were sure about that.

#taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong imagines #taeyong scenarios #taeyong smut #taeyong x you #taeyong x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct x you #nct x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop x you #nct 127 smut #my writing #imagine

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fivay774 · 4 months ago

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Wildfires are tearing through parts of Los Angeles, causing at least 11 deaths, destroying hundreds of buildings, and prompting evacuation orders for tens of thousands across the county.

Despite the efforts of thousands of firefighters, the largest blazes remain largely uncontained.

Weather conditions and the ongoing effects of climate change are expected to continue fueling the new fires for several more days, and there is intense scrutiny of officials' preparedness for the disaster.

Authorities say they expect the death toll to rise. More than 144,000 people are under evacuation orders in Los Angeles County, according to local authorities, as of Saturday.

A curfew is in effect from 18:00 local time (02:00 GMT) to 06:00 on Saturday within the areas impacted by the Pacific Palisades and Eaton fires after reports of new looting incidents.

Over 10,000 buildings have been destroyed by the fires, which are the most devastating in LA's history.

An additional 60,000 are also at risk. Insured losses are expected to exceed $8bn (£6.5bn) due to the high value of the properties affected.

A man was arrested on Thursday afternoon after residents suspected he was attempting to start a new fire.

Police said he was charged with a probation violation but that there was not enough probable cause to charge him with arson, and an investigation continues.

The causes of the original fires remain unknown.

National Guard troops have been deployed to some areas of the city to prevent new looting in evacuated zones, with more troops expected to be sent, and there have been 20 arrests, according to the police.

Celebrities who have lost their homes include Mel Gibson, Leighton Meester, Adam Brody, who attended the Golden Globes just days ago, and Paris Hilton.

#guarantee this person has never experienced marginalization or tragedy #how can you possibly be this out of touch with what other people are going through #postponing trip to Disneyland? good #doing it because it would bum you out rather than out of sensitivity for what people are going through? awful! terrible!#also I honestly just don’t trust anyone who wants to travel and go to Disneyland during the ongoing pandemic #and ignoring the Palestinian genocide (Disney’s on the BDS list)#reddit #la fires #los angeles fires #california fires #climate change #us politics #current events #disney #disneyland #described #description by me

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muffindaddystyles · 4 years ago

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Summary: Y/N's feeling icky about her body, but Harry loves her to bits and pieces, through thick and thin, in health and sick — and he always waits for her to come back to him.

TW: Body dysmorphia.

Y/N's healthy.

All she sucks in is having a sane sleeping schedule due to her UNI otherwise she eats natural goodies, cook and bake home because it comforts her more that way and she works out every evening to stay fit.

Sometimes though, she’s lazy and lacks behind which’s proper humane but deep down it effects her and her mental health more than she admits and she isn’t able to start over again – it mostly happens after her periods.

Harry loves her the way she’s.

Even if she’s clumsy, bumbling, procrastinating, overly enthusiastic to mend her life at 3 am, snotty and sloth-y in her periods, confident and positive around people, kind and loving whenever she comes to meet him, whiny and cuddly when she’s sick, jealous and grumpy with his attention not on her —- he loves her in every way possible, to rivers and to sea his love could never stutter for her ever.

He loves how she’s not overly toned, having soft squishy spots which Harry undeniably wants to admire and kiss shamelessly amount of times -- like -- her plummy pretty thighs that Harry likes to nestle his head in-between making her wriggle and squirm under his grasp, her overly cute tummy that Harry dies to pepper sweet adoring kisses and petal his lips round her belly button, everytime they’re cuddled up his bicep’s always looped her around her tummy to feel it rising up and down in calm rhythm, and oh! her tender titties, they’re actually his favourite babies and he loves to fondle them in his big calloused palms brushing his thumb over the sensitive perky nub and basks in the glittery whimpery mewls of hers.

He loves that she’s curvy and gives zero fucks if she’s skinny or not.

He thinks his baby’s perfect.

So perfect he actually feels the bubbling of devotion and affection filling to the brim of his heart’s chambers and leaking out and upon his ribs tickling him.

Y/N's his person and he worships her with his whole heart.

From some days though, she’s feeling devastatingly insecure about all her things Harry’s in love with and she has no-control over it how much she tries.

Harry’s observing that all with optimism (one of his great quality's that like a lion sly about his prey, he keeps an eye on everything but pretends otherwise). He has his intense gaze fixed on her when she’s taking a look of herself in the mirror for rather too long, running her hands down her body and practically shuddering.

He glances from over his laptop and drops everything he's doing watching her go monkies, sweating buckets and over exercising than her usual time.

He brings her closer and infront of him, pressing her to his chest and coiling his forearm around her shoulders whining a, “Baby..!” when they were brushing their teeth and despite of standing beside him and teasing him occasionally like she usually does she stuffs her face into the crest of his back and hides herself there to have minimal contact with her reflection in the mirror.

Her body dysmorphia spiking dangerously high.

“Deprived me of your cuddles. woke me up so early, granny.” She huffs lying through her teeth and how much his embrace was strong enough to keep her in place she still managed to wiggle out taking her previous cosy position, but he could feel her muscles tensing and an awkward silence falling over them.

He didn’t pry much. He wants to give her as much space as she requires to come back to him hale and hearty, as she always does and whatever happens he never forgets to remind her how much he loves her every night.

They were watching rom-coms on Netflix back to back with her curled up into his side with a spongy white wool knitted blanket thrown over them and his cheek was smashed atop her head popping in peanuts every now and then when out of certain she spoke pointing at the actress, “You know she got her ribs removed to get that shrinky waist.” Harry frowned at that. His face itching into disbelief and concern under the bouncing glow of telly.

He affixes his gaze down at her trying to read what’s cooking up in that genius brain of her's which isn’t being very rational and genius right now, they immediately turns soft and caring when she blinks up at him purely.

She squeaks, nose crashing against his collarbones when he scooches her up in his lap grabbing onto her knees to make her straddle his torso and he grumbles cutely when she tries not put all of her weight on him and doesn’t melts into him as his sweet lovie would used to do receiving a smack on her bum on his end.

He’s afraid that an evil version of her chomped onto his dear baby alive.

“Nothing else matters if all ye’ organs are packed safely and healthily inside you,” He tells her brushing loose frays of her hair behind her earlobe and rubs his thumb in gentle strokes over her treacly pulsing point, “Was just telling you ...” She mumbles, dotting touches on his knuckles and playing with his bare cold fingers.

It’s true, she was rambling out facts about the movie and cast out of habit because no-way she’d ever go through any surgeries to change herself to become someone she isn’t.

“Swear!” She yawps out in convincing high pitch when Harry squints down at her with his lips scrunched, one eye twitching in doing so.

“Alrighty. I believe you.” He cradles her cheeks in his palms and brings her mighty close to him to peck her cupid bow, then her bottom lip and the corners of her smiling mouth to suckle generous amount of whines from her and then kisses her lovingly – hands streaming down her spine and then resting atop her dip.

He thought she was ready to come back to him, to share her problem with him and Harry really wanted to bug in, to not let her fight her battle alone and take half of her hardships from her fretting self but guess not.

They were about to have sex when panic seeped in Y/N's eyes and her cheeks blazed up in that of embarrassment as she rushed to switch off the lamps that were the only source of light in their room.

“Moppet.” Harry sighed, knowing exactly what’s happening and she isn’t as foxy in covering it up as she’s thinking herself to be.

“Why wouldn’t y'want me t'see gorgeous self of yours?” His tone punctured and hurt, feeling useless for not knowing how to cheer her up and break her worries down. He smoothens his hands behind her to lock his arm around her waist, fingertips making grape sized indents into the flesh of her hip-bone as she streaks the tip of her nose up and down the crook of his neck, murmuring meekly against his salty skin while he hugs her warmly.

“’M just feelin’ shy.” He giggles at her response puckering his lips against her hairline to pet tiny, tiny kisses there as she fists her hands against his taught chest.

“Not somethin’ I haven’t seen before, love bug.” He blows raspberries against the underside of her jaw and their mouths meet into a messy, giggling, teeth clanking kiss when she sinks into pillows allowing him to cocoon her in his heat.

“I love you, Y/N. No matter what.”

The last dam breaker for them was this little get together at Sarah and Mitch's baby shower.

She matched her outfit with Harry. Cute lavender coloured little sweater blouse that was familiar to the baggy baby yarn cardigan Harry was wearing, it accentuated her curves and her bosom so prettily -- her midriff peeking from where the buttons weren’t closed and their jeans were painted (they did it themselves one Sunday when it was extra boring and inactive).

Y/N felt uncomfortable in her own clothes. A bitterness spreading inside her for herself and all she wanted was to escape away from her own skin.

She knows she’s loved and welcomed and cherished by her friends and family and the love of her life, most importantly. Then why was she feeling so icky about herself? Why everything's draining her and exhausting her?

Harry obviously could see through the gloomy tenebrous energy overshadowing her as he stood in the corner of the room grabbing the sorbet he poured in two glasses for them.

A sour guzzle of tears choking his throat and his limbs weakening letting the painful heartbreak seep into him when he watches her being fidgety and fiddling with the loops of her jeans, tugging her blouse every passing second and he’s sniffling a hiccup deep in his lungs when she shrinks into herself in dejection staring out of the window without any purpose.

Harry feels awful to startle her when he plops down beside her, coodling her closer to himself and tucks her head beneath his chin subtly and cups his palm under her jaw to make her look in eyes his eyes.

“Hi beautiful,” His tone had a saddening waver in it and his irises mossed bleak when Y/N remains unresponsive, zoning in and out of her own head feeling herself prisoned into her own invasive thoughts.

“You w'na go home darling?” He gives her a wet smile clearing his throat and blinking the stubborn moisture in his eyes away when Y/N nodded without any vivid expression.

All the way back home he denounced himself of not making her feel loved enough, to not to pest her soon about what she’s feeling and letting her slide deeper into the dark hole.

He thinks he’s a piece of shit.

Y/N wanted to dig the earth with her own nails and hide into it and never show her face again, she was overly ashamed of herself.

His hand was holding onto hers tightly, never letting it go as he led them through the hallway and his head perked up in confusion when she stopped them abruptly and lunged to wrap herself around him like he’s the last silver of her hope and the reason to live.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry.” There comes the first sob after ages of suffering and bottling it all in, not shocked at all he was expecting it to happen. Gently he picks her up and wraps her legs around him, keeping his support firm under her bum as she cried into his soft white t-shirt.

Carefully he sits them on the edge of the bed and tries to pry her soaky flushed face in his cradle but she refuses to show him, clutching onto his cardigan and whimpering brokenly.

“I just feel so disgusting,” Her sob scratches out of her throat and for a second he thought he heard her wrong, that her feeble crying’s playing some kind of a sick game with his heart.

“Harry do something I don’t want to feel disgusting.” But, when she pleaded helplessly a cold shiver settled in his bone marrow spreading an agonising burn in his stomach.

Gently he stirs her away from his chest to look at her, meeting their foreheads together while his thumb wiped her tears away and smoothed over her wabbly lips in profound tenderness.

“My beloved,” He whispers fondling his nose against hers and her eyes flutters into realm of calms, shaky breath falling over his lips as he brings her trembling fingertips towards them and pecks them feverishly.

“The love of me life, me heart.” He continues, “Shhh. Shh baby ‘s okay to cry but don’t tire y'self.” He hushes her when she whimpers loudly at his coy affirmation.

“I’m here with you, waiting f'you, watching y’goin’ through a stony path so I could be there to hold you whenever you trip –-,” He pets her hair, cupping the back of her neck to plant his lips bitten red from worry to her puffy damp eyelids and Y/N becomes a gooey lax of candle that’s been burning for tiring amount and finally her lover came to blew the agonising flame away putting her to peace as he coos snuggling her in his cordial embrace, “You’ve been so strong to yourself and ‘m so proud of me baby.”

“I’m always here. Never away from you, always right by y'side.” His palms bending around her ribs to smush her as intimately close as possible.

“How d'ya want your huggies babylove?” He simpers down at her darlingly, huffing out in relief seeing her relaxing -- her shoulders sinking from him massaging the knots in them.

“Tight.” She mumbles timidly. The gleam in her glossy eyes returning when Harry hugs her as she wished, squishing her in right places and not suffocating her at all – their breaths in sync chests flushed against eachother.

“I love you cuddly, and care f’you.” He kisses her on lips then goes to hug her right back.

“I love you too, Har. Thank you.” She sniffs in his woodsy scent grazing her touch up and down his back, smooching a soft kiss at his cheek.

#ME WRITING AN OVERLY EMOTIONAL AND SELF DESTRUCTING PIECE #yahoooooooo yipeee #soft tender harry lives in my heart rent free #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagines #harry styles dirty one shotsssss #harry styles one direction #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry angst #harry styles #cute harry #dirty harry styles imagines #harry styles fluff imagine #harry smut #fluff #hsh #dom harry

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago

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Personal Training (Choi Jongho + Song Mingi) Rated

Pairing: Dilf! Choi Jongho × Younger! Reader (Female) × Dilf! Song Mingi

Genre: Smut, Slight Angst, Fluff.

Summary: Wanting to get closer to her P.T for so long, who would have thought it would take his friend to be able to break the tension between them?

Word Count: 4.6+K

Warnings: Age differences (but still within legal boundaries), public sex, thigh riding, oral (male and female receiving), face fucking, orgasm denial, slight size kink, slight degradation, brief mention of the word 'daddy', unprotected sex (always use protection), creampie, threesome, Dom! Jongho, Dom! Mingi, Sub! Reader.

Taglist: @galaxteez @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @brie02 @deja-vux @daniblogs164 @couchpotatoaniki @a-soft-hornytiny

· • • • ✤ • • • · ·· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·· · • • • ✤ • • • ·

"Oh god no."

The muscular male let out a long and exhausted sigh as he watched the perky and enthusiastic trainee wave at him as she poked her head at the entrance door to the gym. His athletic friend next to him heard his exhaustion and looked to see what the source of the trouble was.

"Who's that Jongho?" He pointed to the girl who was letting herself inside the gym, hassling a little when her bag got caught as the door was closing.

"That's Y/N, the newest person I'm training. You know? The one I told you about?"

The light bulb went off in his friend's head, recalling Jongho mentioning bits and pieces of information about the new trainee that enlisted his help. He looked back at the young woman, assessing her briefly with his eyes.

"She's cute."

Jongho shook his head as he picked up the weight he had dropped when he heard the excited voice call out to him.

"Yeah I know Mingi. Too cute." He grumbled.

The lively girl ran up to her P.T and the stranger that she had never seen before, but one look at him and she was just as mesmerized by him like she was with her trainer. He was taller than Jongho and although not as bulky as him, he still had a handful of muscles that were making her weak.

"So what are we working on today?"

Jongho gave her a puzzled look.

"Ummm we're not scheduled to train today Y/N. Remember? It's sort of a holiday, hence why the gym is empty." He reminded her, although it didn't surprise him that she'd show up just to see him.

"If we're not supposed to be here, then why are you here?" She counteracted his statement, arms crossing over her chest as her foot tapped against the floor mat.

Jongho looked over to Mingi, who looked like he was about to burst out laughing, lips pursed tightly to keep from making a sound.

"Me and my friend were actually just leaving now Y/N, so it was really pointless for you to come. Just go out, have fun with friends. Have a little cheat day if you even want." He tried everything to get the girl to leave, hoping she'd get convinced. He thought he made good progress when she slumped her bag over her shoulder, but he was wrong. Y/N wasn't about to let him go that easily.

"Then may I join you two? I don't have any plans for the day and I'd just...really like to spend some time with you today Coach." She bit her lip at him, hoping he'd get the hint.

Jongho's eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets, his friend turning around to take a sip of his water bottle as he slowly walked away from the pair, smirking to himself at how funny the situation was. Clearing his throat, Jongho stood up straighter and looked Y/N in the eye.

"I'm- I'm sorry Y/N, I think that it'll be best for you to go now."

He turned around and began picking up his stuff, trying to ignore the fact she was not only still standing behind him, but was actually coming closer to him.

"Do you not think I'm pretty coach? Am I not attractive enough for you? Have you never thought about me in that way.....even once?" He could hear the heartbreak in her voice, positive that if he turned to look at her, a childish pout would be plastered on her features. Indeed, as he glanced briefly back at her, her bottom lip was slightly quivering.

"I think you're very beautiful Y/N, but thinking about you in that way, much less getting into a relationship with one of my trainees is very unprofessional. So I think it's best if we keep our ties strictly business related. Plus..... I'm way older than you."

She shook her head at that,

"So? I don't mind the age difference and it could stay a secret between us if you'd like." She took his hand in her own, squeezing them as if her life depended on it, her eyes begging him to finally say yes.

"Y/N I..... I'm sorry. I can't."

Pulling his hand away, Jongho quickly gathered his stuff before rushing past her to make his way to the showers, leaving the helpless girl there stunned and with a hollow feeling. She looked at his figure that disappears with a heartfelt longing. She couldn't understand why he was so cold to her. There's no way he wasn't attracted to her, she'd caught him staring at her one too many times while she did squats and there was even that time where he nearly kissed her as he helped her do crunches. So why did he avoid her as if she had the plague. She didn't realize that she wasn't completely alone until she felt a figure looming behind her.

"Tsk tsk tsk. What a shame to leave such a pretty and young woman like that when she's practically throwing herself at you. He always was rather dense and stoic you know."

Placing his hands gently on her shoulders, Mingi rubbed his thumbs on the top of them, a slight smile tugging at one of the corner's of his lips.

"If I were him, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes to someone like you."

Y/N shuddered slightly when she felt his lips press against her ear.

"I'm not Jongho, but if you wanna forget about him for a few minutes, I'll be in the male sauna room. If you're interested of course." Even though she couldn't see his face, Y/N could practically feel his lascivious smile bearing down on her smaller figure, and it made her press her thighs together. Patting her on the bum with a firm grip, Y/N inadvertently exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding in as she watched Mingi send her a flirty wink before making his way down the hall and out of her sight. Her teeth tugged at her bottom lip as she pondered over Mingi's words. She wasn't going to deny that he wasn't attractive. He was devilishly handsome, not to mention tall as hell and the size difference between them was making her soak her panties even more. And she had absolutely nothing else to do......

What was the worse that could happen?

· • • • ✤ • • • · ·· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·· · • • • ✤ • • • ·

Hearing the door open then close immediately, Mingi smiled at the figure that had just came in, her body covered by the small towel tucked around her chest. Looking her up and down, Mingi not so subtly grazed over the bulge that was already poking out from underneath the towel tied around his waist.

"So you actually came. I'm actually quite surprised."

Patting his lap, he beckoned for her to come over and place herself on top of it, which she obediently did with no hesitation. When she sat down, the knot at the front of the towel came loose, nearly falling down, but luckily she caught it just in time before anything peaked out.

"Oh come now little one, don't be shy. Why don't you show me that pretty body of yours?" Mingi lifted his hands to her waist, smoothing out the cotton fabric that was keeping him from gazing upon her bare figure.

Lifting herself up just slightly, Y/N slowly peeled the towel off herself, letting it drop to the floor before perching herself back on top of Mingi's thick thighs.

"Oh geez. You're even more stunning than I imagined. Absolutely breathtaking."

Y/N closed her eyes as she let Mingi wander his large hands across her bare body. She felt embarrassed about being unable to contain her soft, murmured shaky breaths as he cupped both breasts in his palms and massaged them amply. She shuddered when his thumbs brushed back and forth across her nipples, highly sensitive to any touch placed on them. Mingi of course knew this and thus decided to take advantage of it. He tweaked and pinched at her tiny buds, enjoying the tiny shrills she was voicing out.

"If you're already like this with my hands on your chest, how will you be when I play with that pussy of yours my little one?"

Y/N emitted a long groan, her already aroused core secreting more slick that was pooling on the towel underneath her. She didn't think that nickname would affect her so much, but it was definitely doing something.

"Like being called that? Like being reminded that I'm not only taller but also much older than you doll?" And he hit on another one of her weaknesses, turning her into absolutely putty, even more so as his hand came down to brush against her mound.

"You really are something else doll. Jongho told me several things about you. Showing up in skimpy workout clothes just so he'd look at you, purposefully bending over so he'd check out your ass. Even asking him for help during stretching just so he'd lay his hands on you. By the looks of it, you're just a little slut that wants to get fucked so badly."

Y/N whined as his fingers came down to work on her clit, swirling around it in a slow and gentle pace.

"You're so dirty you even accepted to get fucked by your crush's best friend because you're that desperate." Mingi shook his head with a fake disappointment. His fingers started to go a little faster, rubbing fervently across her little button. Y/N's breathing started to quicken as well, her hips grinding against Mingi's thigh to the rhythm he moved his fingers on her clit.

"It kinda irks me to know I'm just a replacement for Jongho......" He let out an amused scoff as he suddenly halted all movements on her clit.

"Guess I'll have to fuck you so damn hard so you forget he even exists."

Y/N gasped when she was suddenly pulled off his lap so he could turn her to face him. Y/N's face turned a bright crimson color when Mingi pulled the towel off his waist, his cock springing free and standing erect. She couldn't stop staring. There was no mild way to put it: Mingi was huge. Bigger than anything she'd seen or taken in any of her holes. It scared yet thrilled her to think that cock would be in her at any moment. Mingi clasped a hand on her chin, making her turn her gaze back to his face.

"Glad to know you're drooling over my cock. "

Taking hold of her waist once again, Mingi guided her so she would be sitting right on top of his right thigh. He exhaled deeply when he felt her wet folds come in contact with his bare skin. He couldn't wait to feel her come undone all over them. Giving her ass cheeks a tiny squeeze, he dropped one hand down to strike against one of them.

"Don't just sit there little one. Rut yourself on my thigh like a bitch in heat." He ordered her.

Steadying her hands on top of his broad shoulders, Y/N began to grind her hips down onto his thigh. Mingi's thighs were extremely thick, toned, and the muscles were absolutely amazing for riding. Everytime she'd push herself up, Mingi would make sure to flex his thigh so that her bundle of nerves would be more stimulated. She kept a nice and easy pace so far, feeling bliss at rubbing her core all over his thigh. Mingi didn't seem too pleased though.

"Come on darling. I know you can do better than that."

Taking it as a challenge, Y/N gripped tighter onto his shoulders as started moving faster. She shut her eyes as her mouth began heaving out harsh pants. She rode Mingi's thighs as if it was the last thing she was going to do. His hands which were on her hips decided to take control, moving her down as they wanted her to. Mingi forced her even faster on his skin, his eyes fixed on seeing how her folds were coating the top of his thighs with her slick. And he could tell she preferred him guiding her pace, her breathing had hitched and become more intense when he took over her.

"Oh? Are you going to cum already?" Mingi chuckled when he noticed she started whimpering.

"I- yes." Y/N admitted shyly, her hands dropping from Mingi's shoulders to his chest, palms pressed against the top of his pecs.

"Damn. How horny and needy were you that you're about to come undone this fast?" Mingi teased her, to which Y/N pouted.

"Very."

Of course she was, Mingi thought. She came all the way over just to see if Jongho would fulfill her fantasy and fuck her, so no doubt she was horny since she left her house. Luckily for her, Mingi was a very giving individual.

"Then go ahead little one. Cum all over daddy's thigh."

Y/N let out a sharp and high pitched cry as she started to cum all over Mingi's thigh. He held her in place, continuing to rubbed his thigh against her clit to further heighten the sensation of her climax. Leaning his face forward, he placed tiny kisses in between her breasts as she started to recover from high she went through. With her back turned and Mingi's face buried in her chest, neither one of them noticed the door opening until the one coming in slammed it close behind him in am angry manner.

"What the fuck?!"

Both of them turned to see a very furious Jongho standing there, fists clenching and unclenching as he took in the state the two people in front of him were in. While Y/N looked horrified to see him there, Mingi had a shit eating grin plastered on his face as he gripped the girl closer to him.

"Nice to see you Jongho. Came to watch the show?" Mingi snickered.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with her Mingi? You're taking advantage of her!" Jongho accused in an indignant manner.

Mingi raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not taking advantage of her when she herself came to me willingly. Honestly I'm just doing what she wanted you to do to her."

Jongho widened his eyes at that.

"Wait what are you-"

"Come on! Stop acting dense man. You know she's been wanting you to fuck her since the day she met you, yet you barely even bat an eyelash at her. So I'm giving her what you won't and she's not complaining."

Lifting her up, Mingi turned her to face Jongho, setting her back on his lap as he made sure to spread her legs so his friend could see the mess that had already been made in between her thighs. Although he tried to look away, being faced with his trainees nude figure had an immediate effect on him, which his friend obviously noticed.

"Just look at her lust filled face, look at her wet pussy begging to be fucked and tell me- No.... tell her you still don't want her."

Jongho looked up to find Y/N staring at him with pleading eyes, her bottom lip caught in her teeth. He started to have an internal conflict with his mind and body, one reminding him to stop and turn around right then while the other screamed at him to just give in.

"So what'll it be Jongho? Are you really gonna leave this beautiful girl, who's lusting for you, just like that?" Mingi spoke up again.

Before Jongho could say anything, Y/N's voice finally piped up.

"Please Coach. Just this once? Don't you want to fuck me?"

Jongho stifled back a groan at her persistence, his resolve was growing even weaker, more so when he saw Mingi lean in and start kissing across Y/N's neck. He pressed his lips against her, murmuring something which she seemed to agree with. Next thing Jongho knew, Y/N got off Mingi's lap and went over to him, getting on her knees in front of him as her hands reached for the towel that was girded at his hips.

"Wait- what are you?"

"Just let her be man. She just wants to show you how much she wants you."

Jongho gulped when he felt Y/N's hand wrap around his base. Looking up at him, she started to pump her hand up and down his shaft, her thumb circling around his tip so his precum could help in easing the handjob she was giving him. Y/N hummed as her eyes fell from Jongho's face to his cock. He was so thick, thicker than Mingi, although not as long as his friend. Nevertheless, he was packing a lot and his size made her mouth water. She began thinking about how far it could reach in her mouth. Itching to find out, she brought the head to her lips, tongue dipping into the slit before swirling around it to coat it with her spit.

"Fucking hell.." Jongho gasped, hands coming out to cup her jaw as she eased her mouth down his length, not stopping until she gagged when she felt him hit the back of her mouth, surprisingly not just the man in front of her, but his friend who was anxiously watching in the back.

Y/N closed her eyes and hummed as she pulled off his length before sinking it back inside her. Every time she stuffed him back in, she made she to give his length a long suck that made Jongho moan out in ecstasy. He couldn't deny it, he was enjoying it. Enjoying watching as his hot, young trainee was slurping around his cock, head bobbing as her tongue stroked all over him, making sure that not one inch of him was left dry or unsucked. Her cheeks were stuffed with all of him, tongue too busy occupied with making him feel good. Too good in fact. Before Y/N could even realize it, Jongho was pulling her off him. He chuckled lowly when he heard her disappointed whine as he made her stand up again.

"As much as I would have enjoyed watching you swallow me, I think I'd prefer to cum inside that little hole of yours. If it's all right with you of course." Jongho smiled so innocently at her, thumb grazing over her upper lip as he pushed her back to sit down on the upper deck of the sauna, right next to Mingi. He moved her so she laying right in between them, parting her legs so he could drop his head to hover right above her mound.

"I know someone who would be more than willing to have you swallow his cum though." Jongho signaled towards Mingi, who shifts himself so his cock could be right in front of her face. He smirked at her surprised face, slapping each of her cheeks with his tip.

"That is if she can even make me cum." Mingi challenged, sparking the competitive side of Y/N.

"Trust me, you'll be spilling yourself in her before you even know it." Jongho assured him.

Y/N parted her lips and moaned as Mingi engulfed her wet heat with his long dick. He gave a few experimental thrusts, wanting her to get comfortable before he got rough about it. He loved playing that game, starting off sweet and gentle before face fucking his lovers until they were a complete and utter mess around him. He rested his fingers on the sides of her cheek, carefully guiding her movements so she could suck him as he liked. He was caught off guard when she suddenly moaned loudly around him, the vibrations being felt all over his lower half.

"Jongho can you at least give a warning?" Mingi had looked over to see Jongho already burying his face in Y/N's heat.

"Nope. I prefer the surprise factor." He winked over at him.

Parting her wet lips, Jongho licked a long stripe along her slit before laying his tongue flat against her little button. Alternating between flicking his wet muscle on her clit and then tugging it forward with his lips as they lightly nibbled on it, Jongho's ears were attentive as he tried to listen to any sound coming from her mouth that were currently muffled by Mingi's cock. But her body reactions were enough to let him know she was enjoying it, given how she'd grind her hips up closer to his face.

"Someone is enjoying getting eaten out." Jongho smirked as continued suckling onto her clit.

"Yeah so much that she can't concentrated on sucking me off."

Deciding that it was time to get her attention back, Mingi gripped her jaw as he pushed his entire length until she was choking around him, holding it there before pulling out. Y/N had just enough time to take a deep breath before he was plunging his cock back inside. She was spurting out garbled whines, drool starting to trim down the sides of her lips and falling on the sides of her cheeks. She was so stuffed with Mingi's cock while Jongho ate her out to the fullest and it only fueled the growing arousal piling up inside her. She concentrated on relaxing her jaw and slurping around the cock lodged in her throat while simultaneously trying to enjoy as her coach's mouth worked on her core, expertly bringing her closer and closer to the edge with each swipe of his tongue. Feeling Mingi's dick twitch, she herself was about to spill over when Jongho dipped his tongue at her entrance, nose pressed down agains her clit.

"Fuck! I'm gonna cum- cum inside that pretty mouth of yours."

Without any further words, only shaky grunts, Mingi held her face in place as he furiously rutted his hips up, pumping his cum into her mouth which she gulped back with no problem. Once he came down from his high, he pulled out his softening dick, a line of spit being drawn as he removed his cock. Her lips were swollen and covered with a mixture of her saliva and his cum, making her look even more irresistible, especially when her bottom lip was poking out, presumably due to the fact the man between her legs had detached his lips from her heat a few seconds ago, denying her from the orgasm that she was just about to have. With a frown plastered on, she looked down at Jongho, who was sitting up and climbing in between her body.

"Don't give me that look you little vixen. It's only serving to make me want to fuck you even harder." He admitted, lips ghosting over her own.

"So why don't you?" Y/N questioned him, to which Jongho responded by pulling both of her legs and resting them on his shoulders. Taking hold of his dick, he rubbed his bulbous tip along her reddened clit before slapping it a couple times.

"Think I won't?"

Pushing in with one quick thrust, Jongho's immensely thick cock started working her open, walls stretching out to accommodate the intrusion of his member. Y/N could feel him so deep inside her, she was sure if she be able to, she'd probably feel him on her lower abdomen. She could already feel him rearranging her organs from how hard he was pounding into her, it would be a miracle if she'd even be able to walk afterwards. When she tried to close her eyes and drop her head to just succumb to the feeling, she felt Jongho's hand clasp around her chin and hold her face up so she could look at him.

"Don't shut your eyes. I want to see every expression you make as I fuck your tiny pussy. After all, isn't this what you wanted?"

Y/N cried out louder when his pace got faster and harsher. She tried desperately hard to keep looking at him but it was unbearable, especially when her inner thighs were starting to get sore.

"Wanted me to fuck you? Are you happy you finally got what you wanted?"

She could only manage to respond with groans and pants. Their heated and sweaty bodies began sticking to each other, the loud slapping of skin resonating through the room. Jongho kept his eyes fixed on her, staring with fiery intensity at her. He kept driving his cock into her, pounding so deep that he'd be able to break her if he wanted to. But he was content with watching her slowly come undone by him, her shaky breaths and trembling thighs signaling him that she was on the verge of exploding all around him.

"Awww you're gonna cum already? Are you that easy? Or is it cause your finally getting fucked by a real man that you're coming undone so fast?"

Y/N whimpered and started writhing underneath him, tears pooling at the sides of her eyes as the knot in her stomach was seconds away from breaking loose. Jongho's hands gripped down on her thighs to keep him steady as his hips continued slamming against hers. His fingers dug into her soft skin, threatening to leave bruises from how strong he was clutching at her. His face continued to look smug and full of pride as he looked at how worn out his trainee was looking. He'd never outwardly admit it, but he enjoyed seeing her disheveled appearance after working her so hard and push her limits. Only now that feeling was intensified by the fact his dick was getting wet by her juices.

"Cum all over me then. Cum all over my fat cock you little vixen." He ordered her, eyes filled with lust and desire to see her break in front of him.

Unable to keep her eyes open anymore, Y/N scrunched her eyes shut and blood rushing to her head as her walls contracted around Jongho's cock, clinging to him as a flood of release was spilling all over him. Her palms were heavy pressed onto the wood deck under her, laying flat as she began to unwind from her orgasm. Just a minute later after savoring her reaction, Jongho's hips jerked sporadically as he started emptying himself inside her. Keeping himself lodged in her warmth, he slowed down his thrusts, making sure to pump all of his essence inside her before gently pulling out of her. Both of them released hisses at the sting and emptiness of not being connected anymore. Jongho looked in fascination as the brim of her hole was still leaking out his white, milky cum, a sense of pride washing over him at seeing a part of him be plastered into her body.

"You ok?"

Y/N let out a tired groan as Jongho helped her sit back up.

"I don't think I can walk." She wrapped a hand around her stomach, already feeling a burn on the muscles. Jongho giggled at her, pulling her against him as he kissed the top of her head

"If you want, I can take you off the schedule until you recover properly." He offered.

"And not see you?" She raised an eyebrow.

Poking her nose, Jongho shook his head.

"Silly silly girl. Obviously I'll come over to check up on you."

Y/N's face brightened up with a smile as she realized what he meant. A loud and exaggerated clearing of a throat broke them out of their little world.

"Well since obviously I'm not needed here anymore, I'll just take my leave now."

Picking up his towel and wrapping it around him again, Mingi went over to the door to give them privacy, but not before making sure of something.

"Just be sure to invite me once in a while to join you both."

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zodiacrant · 4 years ago

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💜Astro Notes💜

(All about Mutable signs)

(These may or may not apply to you, please keep an open mind and take it as entertainment rather than life changing facts. Please credit me if you’re going to use my work, or ask me beforehand.)

💜There’s no denying that this is the wack-a-doodle squad

💜Mutable Placements adjust and assimilate into other placements qualities and elements. This makes them hard to identify in a person, especially Rising.

💜Sagittarius Moons always have this underlying tone of sadness. My best friend in high school was a Sagittarius Moon and he would talk about anything and everything but real and serious things. His mother had cancer and passed away and he did not show emotion in his words or in his eyes. I don’t know why they feel like they always have to be happy and fun all the time.

💜Geminis are actually very stubborn but not with what they believe in but in what they do. Don’t tell them what to do or how to do it. And most definitely what they should and shouldn’t like.

💜Virgos and Pisces are opposites that clash by default. The ground level view of Virgo mixed with Pisces aerial view doesn’t go well. Not because of how they view things but because of their strict stance on how things are. One says 2+3=5, the other says no 1+4=5. The only time I saw those pairs get along is when they grew fond of their differences.

💜Sagittarius to me is the least Mutable Mutable sign. Even though they’re naturally curious and expansive, they have a habit of assuming and beating people to conclusions. This is why some people label them as know it all’s, cause while you’re talking they’re preparing an answer instead of listening to what you’re actually saying.

💜I believe I have said this in another post but I’ll say it again. Pisces placements are indicators of being either a genius or a complete bum.

💜Virgo Moons are high functioning emotional machines. No matter how much work they do or run around it, they’re very sensitive to every single thing.

💜Gemini is not as fun loving as people perceive them. Most that I have met were into taboo topics. As a Gemini Venus I would ask if you would like to be eaten by animals after death, with a smile 😊.

💜Virgo and Gemini represent the youthful and playful curiosity of Mutable signs. Both ruled by Mercury they represent childish and teen like thinking and view of the world. Wanting to try everything, do everything and everything having to be as perfect as they imagined. Jacks of all trades yet masters of none, they represent the novice and early stages of communication and learning.

💜Sagittarius and Pisces are the higher mind and what’s beyond the self. Ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, respectively, they represent religion, spirituality, the subconscious mind, and large scale worlds. They view the world as the teacher and/or the elder, passing down the knowledge they acquired along the way.

💜Mutable Mercuries can be very sneaky and manipulative.

💜Don’t underestimate Pisces. The preconceived notion that they’re some cute bubbly magical mermaid can be very far from the truth. People with Pisces placements, especially the Moon, are very interested in twisted and dark topics.

💜 Virgo/Pisces in North and South Node is the hardest life purpose to achieve. For Virgo N.Node your life purpose requires you to be level headed, swift, critical and do the right thing. With Pisces N.Node you have to elevate your mind, be insync with yourself, have an out of body view of the world, follow your instincts and do the good thing.

💜Most twins I know and are in my family are either Geminis or Virgos

💜Virgo Mars people blabber on when nervous. This apparently supposed to buy them some time to think but it just ends up making it worse.

💜I have noticed that Virgo and Sagittarius Suns and Moons get frequent migraines

💜Virgo in 8th is as kinky as Scorpio. Only they’re more of a bottom edging the top than the top edging the bottom

💜Mutable signs in their opposite’s planet creates constant confusion at best and delusion at worst. This can be seen alot with Sagittarius and Pisces Mercuries. No shade but y’all can really live in the world according to your mind, which can be far from reality. However, I did find many good actors with this placement which makes sense cause it’s conducive to the trade.

💜If you’ve known a Gemini long enough then you know not be surprised by their antics or what they’re going to say. I have found that they do and say things for reactions not because they’re seriously thinking of doing so.

💜Sagittarius on the other hand will do a dare just to prove they will do it.

💜Sagittarius in 4th house might run away from home

💜Pisces Venus is much more timid than you’d think. Virgo Venus, however, that is another level kind of “hoeing”

💜Mutable MC’s careers depend alot on who they know and always being on the go. They can’t be stagnant with their positions and require constant reinvention.

💜Pisces in 6th rarely get sick

💜Mutable Risings house patterns create, from what I read, a “cycle of completion”. They more than others have to focus on intrapersonal growth before going too far into their journey.

💜For a Mutable sign Virgo is not “mutable-like” but their quick adaptation and reactions to complex things is what makes them mutable.

💜Gemini Mars is the most energetic placement.

💜Sagittarius in 3rd and Gemini in 9th will have to unlearn almost everything they grew up learning. The opposite process from Gemini to Sagittarius where you keep on learning.

💜Mutable dominant people will forever have an existential crisis

💜Sagittarius Venus is the OG paradoxical queen

💜People with Sagittarius in 7th house, especially with Pluto residing there, will be hung up on “the one that got away”

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lilacmooon · 3 years ago

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i always pair music with what i write so have this: Beach Baby - Bon Iver

protective big brother bumi is my everything

Angstpril 2022 - Day 8: "Don't Lie to Me"

The morning was chilly for late spring in Republic City. Still, it was exactly the weather that Lin liked best. Soft sunshine bleeding warmly through the mist rolling in off the bay. The hint of colder days just passed bowing down to welcome in young summer afternoons.

Her favorite cafe was simple and sleepy. Especially in the mornings. Just coffee and sweet breads and a side street tucked away quiet enough to get through a good portion of her current book before she was even finished her breakfast.

Most of her days off work started out here, eating at the worn wooden tables, reading and waking up. Always alone, as she preferred. Most people would rightfully be warned away by a stoic and silent Lin Beifong, nose tucked purposefully in a book, not quite yet finished her first cup of coffee. Bumi wasn't most people, though.

"Linny!" Bumi greeted her jovially. His voice a little too loud for a peaceful morning like this. "Casing the joint?"

Lin didn't bother answering, just sighed and closed her book, staring at him over the rim of her coffee mug.

"When did you get back into town?"

"Few days ago. Shipping back out next week. So!" Bumi asked, sitting down with his coffee and breakfast. "How goes things?"

"Day off." Lin told him with a shrug.

"Any exciting plans?"

"Not really, no."

"Want to hit the market with me after this? I promised mom I would pick up some things she needed."

"Aren't there acolytes who would handle that?"

"I was heading into the city anyway." Bumi waved off the idea. "Not a lick of proper coffee on that island, if you ask me."

"I remember." Lin said dryly, cracking a smile despite herself.

"Nice to see you have good taste." Bumi said, gesturing around to the cafe. "When did you find this place? It's always been a favorite of mine."

They talked on like this throughout their breakfast. Easy and familiar. The practiced back and forth of old friends catching up. Bumi had always been excellent at carrying on most of the conversation for her. Lin was grateful for that at least. Soon though, as the morning began to transition slowly into early afternoon, the atmosphere changed in a way that had Lin's instincts alerted immediately. Bumi had never been someone who was hard to read.

"Uh. Look Lin, while I have you here." Bumi began, trailing off. He wasn't sure how to breach the sensitive subject exactly. Wasn't sure, even, if it was a good idea at all.

"Gotta tell you, Bum." Lin said, placing her hands palm down on the table and leaning back in her chair. "I'm not liking where this is going already."

"I know about you and Kya." Bumi told her suddenly, his voice a bit lower.

"I have no idea what you are referring to."

"Don't lie to me, Lin." Bumi asked her. His tone was genuine if not a little tired. He took a deep breath, scratching at his beard anxiously. "You don't have to do that. Spirits, I mean, come on. We've known each other our whole lives."

"So, what? That entitles you to force me to talk about something I'd rather chew bricks than discuss with you?" Lin gritted her teeth in annoyance. "You are just like Kya."

"No, Linny." Bumi sighed in frustration. "It means you can trust me."

Lin crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to speak. There was no way she was going to talk about this right now. Especially not with Bumi. It was none of his business. Brother or not.

"I care about the both of you. It kills me to see you two doing this to each other."

"What do you know about it, Bumi?" Lin snipped. "Just drop it. Alright?"

"I do have experience in this type of thing, you know."

"Oh yeah?" Lin bit back.

Even as she said it she know how dumb it sounded. Because of course he did, she knew that. Bumi had traveled almost his whole life, just like Kya. He was bound to know what it was like to get your heart broken by distance and hesitance and strings of nearly perfect nights with too many years in between. But Lin hadn't asked, had she? Bumi was just sticking his nose into things that didn't concern him. As usual.

"Let me guess." Lin glared at him from across the table. "You have some deep wisdom you want to impart then?"

"Not really, no." Bumi shrugged. "I just make it work."

Lin blinked at him over their tepid coffees.

"And if or when it stops working?" Bumi continued. "That's okay too. The important part is to let yourself have the things that make you happy. No matter what might happen. Otherwise, you will let all the important stuff, all the important people, pass you right by."

Lin nodded, fidgeting with the pages of her book, avoiding his eye. It was infuriating how right he could be sometimes. But Lin would never give him the satisfaction of knowing she felt that way. Not ever.

"That all?" Lin asked, looking up at him finally.

"Yeah, that and if you hurt my sister, I'm gonna be real upset."

"Okay, great." Lin huffed. She stood and gathered her things. "I gotta go, Bum. Thanks for breakfast."

"Hey, wait!" Bumi called after her. "Don't you wanna come to the market with me?"

Lin waved him off as she left, walking out into the street which had grown significantly busier as the rest of the city woke. Relief flooded her at being alone once more as she walked down the block, headed nowhere in particular. Bumi's words echoed in her head, proving hard to shake.

What gave him the right, anyway!? To trample all over her morning like that? Especially when she got so few to herself to begin with. Lin spent months after every meeting with Kya trying to force herself not to care that they had to be apart. Months trying to make herself forget how right it felt to have her so close, even only just for those too short nights. It wasn't as if Lin was the only one responsible for this agonizing entanglement they had indulged in...

Kya was at fault too. Maybe even more so. She was the one who always left. Spirits. She wasn't even here right now and still Lin was trying to argue with her. Lin knew, she knew, how she could be. She knew she was stubborn and closed off and maybe not the most pleasant person to be around a lot of the time. Lin knew she made it difficult to allow Kya to believe there was something there between them that proved promising enough to stay.

It wasn't as if Lin was jumping at the chance to run off with her, either. And that was the problem. The entire problem she spent circling and circling until she felt sick to her stomach most days. Lin was always going to stay and Kya was always going to go. If Lin let herself ever even entertain the idea of something different? Let alone hope for it? Then the person she would be lying to the most...was herself.

So, instead, Lin pressed on. She forced herself not to think about how much she missed the smell of saltwater and sun rays and lilies, drifting into her off of long brown hair and warm brown skin. She made herself forget what it felt like to stare into deep blue eyes, so full of affection and desire and countless things unsaid. Slowly, Lin convinced herself that the dull ache in her heart, it wasn't even there at all. And never had been. Maybe this was just another breed of lies she told herself, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Not anymore. There were different sorts of lies, after all. Some of them hurt more than others did.

#angstpril2022 #tlok #kyalin #lin beifong #bumi II #kya II

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