#doing it again

[rose-tinted-vision]

obligatory 'hey what the fuck, post-canon allowing character A to grieve as they should have in the drama' fic

Fic: 往事流转在你眼眸 | the past flows in your eyes

Relationships: Xiao Heng & Wen Ji, Xiao Heng & Lu Ji, Xiao Heng/Xue Fangfei

spoilers for the ending of The Double (墨雨云间) | edited because I shouldn't be allowed to write at 3am

Xiao Heng stares at the dead body of General Dai, and feels nothing. He feels no sense of triumph or vindication, just a gaping sense of emptiness, of loss.

He had only been able to soldier on, push through the last few days of war because he had Wen Ji and Lu Ji at his side, had been able to confidently raze through the battlefield because he knew that they would be watching his back.

Now, he was alone.

Alone, just as he was a decade ago.

Perhaps even more so than back then.

He picks up the jade token from A'Li– with its rope broken, he had no way else to reattach it– he holds it with his teeth instead, and lets the cold fury consume him as he charges to meet the next wave of Dai soldiers.

Xiao Heng would survive this war. He had to survive this war, in order to bring Wen Ji and Lu Ji back home.

—

Xiao Heng guards their bodies all the way home.

He carries out their funeral rites himself– as their employer, their friend, their brother– they had no other family members. It had always been the three of them, building the reputation of Duke Su from the ground up, all while avoiding the corrupt officials together.

“I'm sorry,” Zhao Ye mutters, rounding his desk to stand in front of Xiao Heng, who had arrived to present his report to the Emperor, “I never expected…”

“Don't get emotionally involved,” Xiao Heng laughs bitterly, “isn't that what you said?”

“They weren't pawns!” Zhao Ye snaps, his eyes flashing angrily as he whirls on Xiao Heng. And if this were anywhere but the Emperor’s private office, if they hadn’t grown up together, if Zhao Ye didn’t know how much they had meant to him, he would likely have gotten sentenced for talking back to the Emperor. Instead, he just stares blankly at his friend, numb to the rage written all over his face.

“They were. What else would you call risking their lives to carry out our dirty work? They knew it too, but they didn't care.”

Zhao Ye deflates with a shaky exhale, his anger gone as quickly as it came, and he places a comforting hand on Xiao Heng’s shoulder.

It felt anything but comforting. It felt like the hand of someone who sent them to their deaths– 

“At least they went together,” Xiao Heng forces out, and it takes all of his self-control not to shake the hand off, “Wen Ji always said that if they died in battle, at least he would have a companion in hell.”

(He doesn’t know why he said that, or why he had bothered to share anything with Zhao Ye, who he had taught to view others as chess pieces and the world as their playing board).

Zhao Ye wisely says nothing, silently bearing the brunt of Xiao Heng’s grief.

—

“They’re gone?” A'Li asks, her voice trembling, “what do you mean they're gone?”

Xiao Heng simply takes her into his arms, because he does not want to say it either, does not want to say those words that would cement their deaths in reality.

(He doesn't think he could bear the expression on his furen’s face right now– his A'Li had always felt death more acutely than others, had always grieved for people openly, and he doesn’t think he is ready to feel his heart shatter again).

“Oh, Xiao Heng,” she mutters, burying her face into the crook of his neck as she breaks down, hands fisted in the back of his robes.

And that was all he really needed to let go, apparently.

For the first time in a month, Xiao Heng finally lets go of the restraint on his emotions, letting the grief overtake him as he cries in the security of his furen's arms.

[neutral-simplicity]

Doing it again baby!

[ppongie]

ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ!! ᴅᴍ ᴏʀ ꜱᴇɴᴅ ᴀɴ ᴀꜱᴋ!

[mysicklove]

FIRST PERSON TO SEND IN A KINK AND A CHARACTER WILL GET A SMUTTY DRABBLE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[euphorial-docx]

a very detailed marauders as volleyball positions post because i felt like it

sirius: outside hitter. he just gives me those vibes. plays only one position in right back because he has a good serve, but gets subbed out once he’s done serving. totally has a little handshake with whoever he’s subbing with.

remus: either he’s an amazing setter in a 6-1 rotation or doesn’t play volleyball at all.

james: setter in a 6-2 rotation, outside hitter when in the front row. him and sirius do a lot of cool tricks whenever james is setting for him. they 100% fuck around whenever james pushes sirius up. sometimes forgets he’s in the back row and tries to illegally attack the ball. only sometimes tho.

peter: back row specialist. probably not libero. or, like remus, he doesn’t play at all.

marlene: this might be controversial, but she’s a libero. she will dive anywhere for a ball if she has to. when she’s on the court, no volleyball is touching that floor. her knees are always fucked up. pretty good back row attacks.

dorcas: MIDDLE HITTER MIDDLE HITTER MIDDLE HITTER. also similar to sirius in the way that she serves for half a rotation because holy shit her serves are scary.

mary: outside or right side hitter. an absolute beast at blocking— nobody gets through her. i also feel like she’d be good at digging the ball out of the net without getting fouled. her and dorcas are always in the front row together because they’re the dream team.

pandora: all around player. right side hitter in front row, left side in back row. very fast, hardly ever needs to dive. absolutely a tipping queen and it never fails to piss off the other side. accidentally gets called on rotational fouls a lot, mostly when being pushed up by the setter.

lily: she also gives me setter vibes, but for a 6-2. i don’t think she’d be a setter by herself (not that she couldn’t do it. she definitely could.) is very smart with the ball. loves to dump it on the other side when they least expect it. the other team never knows her next move.

evan: outside hitter. scary scary scary. i’d be scared of him as a back row player. has probably given multiple concussions.

barty: definitely a front row somewhere. anywhere. he has a really powerful swing, but he gets fouled a lot. reaches over the net, lifts, etc etc. he always tries to fight the foul call even when he knows he did it lmao.

regulus: setter + right side hitter. like lily, very smart with the ball while setting. is really good at back-setting and always has plays up his sleeve with his hitters. when in the front row, he can use both hands to hit equally. his swings might not be the most powerful, but he definitely knows where to put them for a kill. spot server 100% and will make the weakest back row opponent know they are the weakest with how deliberate his serve is.

[im-tempted]

Shout out to my therapist who told me if I didn't regularly go to the doctor and go to school she'd get me sectioned

I will never go to therapy again thanks to you lady hope you are having only bad times

[haganez]

p5 is so long how did i play this like 3 times back to back within my first few months

[twinliches]

shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king

[holographings]

someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think

[nathaniacolver]

arcane ships be like

i love a show that teaches equality (😭😭😭)

[incessantlark]

made some icons of the pony crew !!

[bags-of-regret]

Oh god theres more

[ered]

Here’s my take on the whole audio books vs. reading:

Oral tradition of storytelling predates written ones by millennias, and honestly, which one you like is just a personal preference.

The actual difference is

when listening, you have no idea how to write characters’ names

when reading, you have no idea how to pronounce characters’ names

hope this helps!

[everchased]

THAT one's goin on the list too now!