#doing awful things to my brain dude its so fucking bad

[seytrix]

inscryption has horribly ruined my life. i need to tear something up i love this fucking thing so much its so bad i want to break things out of love i need to rip something to shreds like an animal i am a rabid predatory creature gripping a rabbit in its maw and shaking it around

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[princessmyriad]

.

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[jennilah]

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰

[yakool-foolio]

Out of all of the Amaterasu employees that we see in the game, if you had to list them from most morally good to least, how would you list them?

Obviously, they are all terrible people in multiple ways, but I'm just curious

Hmm, interesting! I haven't even really considered how much they'd be weighed on a scale for their morality. I like contemplating new ways to 'rank' characters though, and the peacekeeper higher-ups, other than Yomi (and Hitman Zilch since they basically come in a package deal in my brain), do deserve some more attention from me, so I'll give it a go! I'll just stick with ranking the higher-ups since we have the most info on what we see of them in canon, so sorry Huesca, your judgement day will have to come another time (not to mention we don't have enough info on the specifics of how bad he really was other than him 'sacrificing others for his own research' and conspiring to kill Yakou's wife, but honestly that should be enough to send him into the murky depths of the river Styx). This list will go from least morally corrupt to most morally corrupt, but I think we can already tell who's at the top.

First off, it's our lil sickly guy Seth! Poor guy honestly did the least things wrong, probably couldn't even hurt a fly if he really tried. While he did threaten to sink the sub and arrest the detectives on scene, he did give them a time limit to investigate and find the culprit. It was a very restrictive time limit, but still a chance to save themselves nonetheless. He was just doing as he was ordered to by Yomi in regards to taking money from the church, who knows what would've happened to him if he disobeyed. Guess we'll never know, sorry Seth.

Next up is Martina. I've been debating on where to put her, but honestly compared to the others, she somehow manages to scrape by as the second least morally corrupt. Most of my reasoning is due to her actively realizing that Yomi was an awful influence and resigning as a peacekeeper. No peacekeeper other than Seth had that kind of hindsight of their actions being the cause of Yomi being Yomi. Martina's above Seth on the moral corruption list cause she still actively threatened to shoot two young detectives and definitely would've pulled the trigger had she not been stopped.

Swank takes a spot right smack dab in the middle on the Amaterasu morality scale. This dude is greedy af and worked alongside Hitman Zilch to frame Yuma for the massacre on the train. And he would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling chief! As soon as Yakou stepped into the scene, Swank's disposition took a surprising turn. He surrendered Yuma over to Yakou when he could've easily still arrested Yuma and moved on with his day. And yet, all it really took was for Yakou to say 'I'll tell WDO about your bad behavior and they'd be so mad at you >:T' and Swank took the hint and backed off. MAN DIDN'T EVEN GET BRIBED WITH MONEY! HE JUST TOOK THE L AND LEFT! That's the power of the charismatic blue father figure for ya. Honestly, Swank could've been ranked lower than Martina, but as far as we know, he never got that same sense of hindsight, so he could still be a money-grubbing, mass-murder framer to this day.

And now we move up to Guillaume and Dominic. These two are inseparable, so they shall be treated as such. I think its safe to say these guys like the thrill of hunting down Yuma and want to beat him and his allies to a pulp despite his pleas for mercy. They punch first and ask questions later. Not to mention they view all citizens as slaves, easily manipulated the power of Amaterasu. At least they gave up on harming Yuma when they were given the actual culprits, but Yuma would've easily been turned to paste if not for the detectives' intervention.

And finally, earning the top spot for most morally fucked by a landslide is Yomi! Do I even really need to go into the specifics about why this guy is so damn horrendous? Well, let's do a lightning round! Yomi hired a hitman to kill anyone who criticized or went against him (such as Yakou's wife), violently abused and almost had his 'girlfriend' killed, planned the Amaterasu Express Massacres, physically punished many of his coworkers, manipulated Yakou into killing Huesca, kicked down a dying Yakou, threatened to kill the detectives multiple times, and attempted to leak info about a militaristic experiment to create immortal soldiers to other facilities for some cash. Fuckin' bitch.

[bloogers-boogers]

Hi I know its been awhile but I need to ask is how do you ship Adam and Lucifer

Since they only interact with one episode and Adam dead ??

Agsisgskwushs dude where have u been??! Missed u💕🥺

Anyways, the whole reason why i shipped Adam and Lucifer is just their small interactions made it easy to imagine many possibilities, alternatives, hcs, etc. Mostly based on their funny dynamic alone (like Lucifer being a tease and Adam pissy about the whole cheating thing i was like agdjwgekwhe funny af and then THE joke of fucking him sealed their dynamic for me as my favorite from the show right there and there) and also to picture what it could’ve been? Like, there’s so many holes you can fill in there. That’s what got me so stuck with it, that you can add so much to their backstory, also, the fact that they use Adam being an asshole and stuff as a joke bc he was the first man so ‘it makes sense or whatever’ blah blah so my mind immediately goes, oh, so he’s like the punching bag of the show? Bet bet I love him. When they’re like the ones doing all the bad shit, villains, does the crazy stuff (Cartman for example) or taking the shit of everything/being the joke (Meg from family guy for example) I immediately just like them for no reason, I love my failure characters. It’s interesting cause I was so nonchalant about Adam when I first saw him on screen, if im being honest. I didn’t even blink an eye when he got killed off but then, I saw him without the mask and I was like, he’s hot agdosgslabxlshxos like i was more shock that there weren’t more people who agreed with that than him dying. But still, he wasn’t like a character that I thought of while watching the show.

BUT ANYWAYS to responding ur answer?

I just liked Adam. His personality is funny, his character is interesting. I like him. The same happened with Lucifer. He’s goofy and sad. His backstory is drawing but there’s so much left out that makes you wonder more about him. I love him.

It’s was all based on their funny dynamic alone that drawn me to be like, ay? Im gonna look them up and see what I can find. And OH BOY i was sucked in immediately agdkwdhwosueuo

And the fact that Adam’s dead could’ve made me not consider the ship at all, but the show is about redemption and ALSO hell and heaven. Aka souls. Meaning they already died. Soooo the possibility is there and we have a dead character and he was an angel but was very awful! And deserved to be in hell. Sir pentious could redeem himself (a sinner) so it only makes sense that winners can go down there too! If they’re deserving of it and obviously Adam was deserving of it agrlwbdkwdbwj

My brain works like that it’s silly but

Adam/ bad winner+ dying = sinner

Sir pentious/ ?? (This is a whole other rant I don’t want to dive in to abdoabdwksk) I do believe Sir pentious could’ve gotten to heaven regardless, but I feel it could’ve been written off better just cause … i mean, yeah, he sacrificed himself but like u can still sacrifice for the people that matter to u and STILL be a bad person/do bad things?? Im just saying ok??

Anyways, he’s now dead (again) and a winner.

Point be told. In this show it’s possible for him to come back (I don’t care if he was killed with angelic steel im ignoring it everything’s possible skgdakdvakvdw) and it doesn’t even matter if he doesn’t return in the actual show. In this universe u can still picture a sinner Adam and it would make sense??

Cause it’s hell and heaven we’re talkin’ about. And it’s fiction too so u can create your own story and it just I REALLY LOVE THEM.

Also other ships weren’t interesting enough for me to get stuck on them. I initially shipped Alastor and Lucifer the moment they were on screen and bf they got popular! Bc i thought their dynamic FUNNY/INTERESTING. Thats what gets me into shipping. It must be funny but also u can add some lore into it. I think I’ve mentioned this before with kyman.

But yeah, don’t get me wrong I like radioapple but once the popularity hit off and different hcs and the thousands of interpretations of the characters started coming out, i dunno i couldn’t keep up and I just kinda just stirred away from it. I ship basically everything on that show, it doesn’t even matter skgdwlshow so I’m open for any ship there is on there but adamsapple? MWAH. Always.

Sbdowosbdk thennnnnnn I started reading amazing fics about them and boi u can imagine how good they were!!

Anyways sorry for the long rant. In short. Adamsapple for the win 🥇💕💕👏🏼👏🏼

[princeinsomniavoid]

Living

In which guts are spilled, feelings are realized, and a cliche isn't really a bad thing.

huge tw for graphic suicidal ideation/attempt, non-explicit themes of child neglect, general homestuckness, gay people [eeeewww/j]

[TG]: Sitting at the precipice of an endless fall into the void all by yourself handsome?

Dave flops down next to Percy with a muffled grunt and playfully nudges him in the shoulder with a fist. The page snorts through his nose and rolls his eyes.

Dave leans back on his palms and looks out at the void of the Furthest Ring

[CC]: That was awful, even for you Dave.

[TG]: Well excuse me princess, its not like I scoured the entire meteor trying to find your elusive ass, the least you can do is appreciate my dated references and witty non-sequitur.

[TG]: I can see why you come out here, there sure is a lot of... of... of space... aha.

This earns him a light punch in the arm. He shrugs it off with a light laugh and the banter truly begins. They’re good at that, the talking, like they’ve known each other their whole lives. Aside from John, Rose, and Jade, Dave is pretty sure that he’s known Percy the longest. He can’t remember a time when he didn’t have cadaversCavelry [CC] in his pesterchum window. Seeing him in person like this again after such a long absence gives him an odd feeling in his chest, but not an uncomfortable one.

He’s not sure when it reaches this point, the point in their conversation when they’re both laughing so hard that Dave is sure he’s going to pass out, but sure enough he’s gripping his stomach and wheezing so hard he can feel himself getting lightheaded.

Percy coughs and falls onto his back trying to catch his breath. At some point Dave’s glasses have been knocked askew and he’s blinking back tears. The laughter and jokes continue until Dave is certain he’s going to get a migraine. Sooner or later they fall back into silence, an easy sort and the kind Dave has vague memories of sharing before. He looks over to see that Percy has sat back up and drawn his knees into his chest as he stares nearly unblinking out into the void with a far away expression, and something about that makes his stomach hurt and he can’t for the life of him think of why.

[TG]: Ok- ok dude T.O T.O I can feel the blood rushing to my head oh my god-

[CC]: Sorry- Sorry- Just the- oh jeez I remember the guy’s delivery on it too-!

Woah. Holy shit. What? What?? What??! The question hits Dave in the throat like a brick. Definitely not, he thinks, Dave is pretty sure he’d remember a fucking bombshell like that. He realizes that his mouth had dropped open as his line of dialogue was unceremoniously shut down. His voice catches in his mouth before he clears his throat to respond.

[TG]: So uh… How are you holding up? Y’know with all this crazy shit going on, like with the Trolls and the whole dying thing-

[CC]: Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to kill myself?

Suddenly Dave is very aware of the location this conversation is taking place in, and mentally notes just how close to the edge of the meteor they’re sitting. A very loud little voice in his brain is rattling the bars of its enclosure and yelling at him to grab hold of his friend very firmly and drag them into the housing block. He nods mutely instead for them to continue speaking.

[TG]: no…? I uh, I feel like Id remember something like that man- Uh wheres this going- or like coming from? Like not to sound like a total douche wipe but-

[CC]: I was around 10 I think. I don’t exactly remember but it was definitely a good few years after the move.

Dave is pretty sure he can see Percy’s shoulders shaking, can hear just the faintest tremble in his voice. Unconsciously he’s scooted a little closer to him and has his arms hovering around his frame which seems so small. The Percy he knows is larger than life despite his stature, but now he looks so frail, staring off into the void like Dave doesn’t even exist.

[CC]: My brother had just gone on a business trip i think, or maybe he was on his way home from one? Who cares, he was never around and that was sort of the fuckin’ problem.

[CC]: I don’t really remember a lot from the night before i tried it, you know the whole Big Sleep thing, except that maybe i had talked to you for a little while

[CC]: but I definitely remember calling my brother and trying to ask him to come home early from whatever bullshit work trip he was on.

[CC]: you know, to take care of his younger fucking brother like he said he would when he moved us all the way into the middle of frozen fucking nowhere

Percy grips his knees so hard his knuckles are white, the fabric of the borrowed sweat pants bunched up in his fingers to a degree that Dave is worried that he’s going to tear a hole in them.

[CC]: when he said no like he always did i remember being so angry

[CC]: I had threatened to do something drastic but it was mostly just a lash to try and get it in his head i needed him home.

[CC]: the thing that put the real nail in the coffin so to speak is when he’d just said, “And what? Put all my work to waste?”

[CC]: I remember that fucking sentence like he said it yesterday, and you know what?

[CC]: I DID want to waste his fucking effort, I WANTED that pretentious PRICK to understand that his work? His talents? Didn’t matter.

Ok its official Dave wants to throw up. Jesus Christ on a fucking saltine what the fuck. He finally commits to putting his arms around them, one around his back the other on his knee over his trembling hands. Hell he thinks his own hands might be shaking.

[CC]: So that night after i hung up on him i grabbed every bottle of pills i could find and slammed them back with a bottle of my brothers shitty whiskey that he thought he kept hidden well enough

[CC]: and then for good measure I locked myself in the bathroom and sat back to wait

Percy turns to look at him finally, eyes welled up with tears, glasses foggy.

[TG]: Dude- Percy I’m so-

[CC]: and you know the worst part Dave? I think the worst fucking part of that entire shit storm? I didn’t even fucking think to tell YOU!

The silence returns. Percy looks way again, looking out into the Furthest Ring over his knees. Dave finally properly settles up into giving Percy a proper hug. Its the most awkward affair in the history of fucking existence, but that very loud little voice would not be silenced on the matter. He’s so unsure what to say until he isn’t.

[CC]: not you, not John, not Jade, not even fucking Rose even though I think she would’ve been obnoxious about the whole fucking debacle, calling it a- a fucking cry for help or attention or SOMETHING- god I’m probably not giving her enough credit I know she means well but god.

[CC]: course it didn’t work obviously, but when I woke up in the morning in bed with a vicious fucking hangover my brother was passed out in a chair next to me so I guess that counts for something

He pauses, feeling his breath catching in his throat, but persists nonetheless, giving the boy a squeeze, maybe a touch too hard given the soft whimper he hears.

[TG]: when uh… I found you washed up on that beach, I think it was like… the scariest fucking thing I’d ever experienced.

[TG]: like hands down, I don’t think anything is going to top seeing your corpse half hanging out of the water like that. And sure like, I knew you were going to be fine, probably, but I don’t think I was really aware of that.

He hears and feels Percy chuckle wetly in his arms, a sure sign that his rambling tendencies are good for something at least. He feels himself smile and presses on through the shitty maze that made up his train of thought.

[TG]: I don’t think I’ve ever really told you how important you are to me man-

[TG]: like

[TG]: I don’t really know where id be without you

[TG]: and thats really hard to admit dude- like for real I don’t mean that metaphorically

[TG]: or rhetorically

[TG]: or figuratively or even as like, an allegory- that makes no goddamn sense but you get the idea

[TG]: I care about you a whole fucking lot Percy, and thats saying something coming from me

[TG]: not to sing my own praises from high fucking heaven or anything but Im sort of a big deal- like the coolest mother lover on this side of anywhere ever contrived by man

His train of thought derails when Percy shifts in his grasp to wrap his arms around his middle and bury his face into his neck. He feels the tears seeping into his shitty cape, and feels Percy’s glasses get pushed up off of his nose. When his body finally gets the message that he should probably adjust his arms he flails around desperately for a good few seconds unsure of where to put them, before finally settling on wrapping them around the Page’s neck and shoulders. Something about the position feels natural and easy, like this is the easiest thing he’s ever done, easier than breathing. He heaves out a sigh when he realizes he hadn’t been and on a vaguely selfish impulse he buries his own burning face into Percy’s hair, his shades getting pushed up onto his head. The way they fit together makes his stomach ache again, makes him feel giddy, like he never wants to be separated from this ever. Like he’d rather die.

[TG]: I guess what I mean to say is because you matter so much to me that you’re like, honorarily the second coolest guy in existence

[TG]: like you just won the coolness lottery

[TG]: passed Go collected 200 dollars

[TG]: collected every red coin in the mushroom kingdom

[TG]: is this fucking anything? I feel like im saying words but nothing of actual for real substance is being said

[TG]: like a broken record or something over here

[TG]: the point is getting away from me but you get what im putting down right? This making any sens- ohgodok-

Cool. Cool. Dave is going to fucking explode he swears to any god that exists. He’s not even sure he heard that right, but he feels his body tighten his hold on Percy like a vice, he’s not even sure if Percy cares either because he feels their hands grip the fabric of his cape tighter in response.

[CC]: Dave I wanna live.

Holy goddamn fucking shit. Hell yes. Hell fucking yes. Wait what.

[CC]: I want to live so bad Dave- and not even just because dying for real scared me so fucking bad.

[CC]: I think I want to live for you.

[CC]: I think I love you, Dave.

Dave pulls away and grips Percy by the shoulders, not even bothering to push his shades back down, squinting in the void light at his tear stained face.

[TG]: wait what- like

[TG]: hang on wait

[TG]: wait wait wait

Percy kisses him. On the mouth. Dave is pretty sure he can hear the windows 97 dial up tone because good fucking god his brain is empty. Every single thought completely out the window. Back flipped gracefully out off the goddamn handle. The page leans back to look at him again.

[TG]: I gotta make sure I heard that right and I’m not like

[TG]: hallucinating big time or something

[TG]: like I gotta make sure I didn’t just die 2 seconds ago and I’m dreaming or something

[TG]: you what?

[CC]: well… I don’t think you’re dead anymor-

With said thoughts out the window like that he doesn’t even know where the hell he gets the idea to kiss him back, but it comes anyway and he does it. It feels so correct, like the powers of narrative causality nudged them towards this eventuality, like an inevitability. He feels hands come up to hold his face, one of them gingerly pulling his shades out of his hair and setting them aside, not that it matters. His own hands shift to rest tentatively at Percy’s sides and it feels like an overstep somehow, but the Page doesn’t seem to mind. He wishes that he didn’t need to breathe ever again, but they pull away from each other anyhow. Dave feels his nerves buzzing under his skin, his fingers fidgeting and tapping at Percy’s waist. They stay in each other’s space for a good moment, foreheads pressed together and breathing the same air, until something in Dave’s brain regains sentience again and hes fumbling with his arms like an idiot before he covers his mouth with a hand and avoids eye contact like the plague.

Percy laughs at him and honest to god its the single greatest sound he’s ever heard, the fucking ironic sound board air horns don’t even come close.

[TG]: wow

[TG]: cool

[TG]: cool cool cool

[TG]: uh sorry I guess I just had to double check

[TG]: that I hadn’t died or whatever

[CC]: well the results are in captain, you’re certainly still in front of me and quite monochromatic

If his face got any warmer he thinks its going to catch fire or something this is fucking ridiculous. He finally looks up at Percy over his hand still firmly pressed into his mouth, and despite the embarrassment he can feel himself grinning like the world’s biggest idiot.

They laugh again. Good god what he would give for a microphone and tape recorder.

[TG]: uh in case it wasn’t very clear

[TG]: I think I love you too

[TG]: or whatever

[TG]: well no not whatever just

[TG]: god this is so uncool of me

[TG]: I don’t have an ironic joke to make about this

[TG]: this is just pure unadulterated straight unfiltered inelegant brain rot

[CC]: well done Casanova really getting the message across.

The Page reaches out towards him again and Dave doesn’t waste a second enveloping him into another crushing hug. Without the hindrance of his shades in the way he fully hides his face into Percy’s hair, and not to be one of those weirdos, but he breathes in a deep sigh and savors the soft smell in his nose. He wishes he could bottle it up like a shitty cologne or something equally embarrassing.

They stay out there like that for what feels like forever, Dave’s pretty sure he could probably fall asleep like that. Its not until a familiar grating voice cuts through the moment like a katana from the fucking dollar store on a discount.

[TG]: for real man…

[TG]: the feeling is very mutual.

[TG]: like you have no idea…

With that Karkat turns on his heels and storms back inside muttering under his breath irately. The two of them take a moment to process what exactly he had just said before the sentences finally arranged themselves into some semblance of order and slammed true like a semi-truck. They burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, each clinging to the other for support before they can straighten up properly.

[CG]: THERE YOU ASSWIPES ARE I’VE BEEN TRYING FIND YOUR DUMB ASSES ALL MORNING

[CG]: ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU GOT YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE PROVERBIAL FUCKING SAND AND SEALED THE DEAL ON THE MOST OBVIOUS FUCKING CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS CLICHE I’VE EVER GODDAMN SEEN

[CG]: NOW WILL YOU GET YOUR ASSES INSIDE? KANAYA SAID THAT ROSE IS DONE MAKING LUNCH AND I SURE AS HELL AM NOT WAITING FOR YOU TWO TO FINISH COPULATING OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE DOING I’M STARVING.

They untangle their limbs from each other and stand up, Percy handing back Dave’s shades as the Knight stretches and cracks his back. He slips them back on his face with a smile. His heart feels light for the first time in a long time. As they start to head back inside he finds himself reaching for Percy’s hand, a gesture that they reciprocate as they grab hold of his own. This is the single coolest thing in the history of ever. If he notices any of their meteor-mates staring no he doesn’t.

[CC]: I guess we should go huh?

[TG]: yeah

[TG]: wouldn’t want Karkat to have a fucking aneurysm waiting on us

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

i really honestly feel like that a lot of the criticism towards susie isnt justified. the capitalism stuff, sure, but she gets waaayyy too much flak for the mecha knight thing.

TBH i kind of want someone else other than susie should try to turn meta knight into a robot. just to see if they'd get hated on for it.

imagine if magolor were to do it. would he get scrutinized for it? or would people try to go through hoops to say it's okay if he does it, it was only bad when susie did it?

i already do sense some double standards in the fandom tho.....

you see the issue is i cannot for the life of me understand this beyond "susies a girl, and because of that shes the devil for hurting the fan favorite guy", disliking her bc of the theme? sure! completely fair! believing she could have been better redeemed? i can see a point! misunderstanding her for a while due to SAs translation completely changing what her recent goals are implied to be? very understandable they fucked her updated character up there

but no, what people get irrationally angry about is she happened to pick meta knight and how DARE she do that to poor meta knight?!

but...thats where my confusion is, if ANY other character had done that to MK theyd not get backlash for it, itd be an angsty meta knight moment for fans theyd absolutely ADORE and theyd form opinions on whoever did it for the character they are (see:every dedede possession, barely see anyone even acknowledge who did it that much, its about dedede being affected w the culprit being disregarded), not for who they happened to use for the "puppet" role, susie.is not allowed this, shes the girl who hurt meta knight, multiple peoples entire opinions of her revolve around the fact she roboticized meta knight (remember btw.he was LITERALLY fine.theres nothing implying this was painful and he recovered extremely quickly) susie is not allowed to be anything but a massive bitch who hurt poor fan favorite meta knight

and dude i just.dont get it, i dont get why its so comically common for fandoms wide to be overly harsh forming opinions on the girls, giving them absolute hell for things theyd absolutely praise men for doing, id understand if it was implied to be awful for MK or if someone just doesnt like him being in bad situations, but no, if ANY male villain did that ppl would be going over the moon they got juicy meta knight angst and a cool other guy, is overly judging female characters so inherent in peoples brains this is subconscious?? its just.so fucking insane to me.i literally cannot understand this

heck everytime ive seen ppl talk abt the stuff w fecto forgo trying to possess meta knight its just as i said itd go (forgo is either genderless or non binary, for note.so rly further proof the issue is susies a girl) its abt the experience being bad for MK, not abt how the one who did it is an horrible being, its.so fucked up susie is not even allowed to be disliked because of her own character, its because she hurt a man so shes the actual devil for doing that

TL DR please hate susie at least because of her whole character and not because she happens to be a girl who hurt a man (basically ask yourself:if she were a guy or enby, would you still be this angry about that? if not, reconsider if youre not being subconsciously biased to see her as way worse because shes a woman.if yes lmao relax youre being normal and just dont like your favorite being hurt)

[dappersautismcreature]

hey sorry this is super outta nowhere but i was scrolling thru the mcytconfessions blog n saw you saying youre a wilbur hater and im genuinely curious as to why?

this isnt me waiting to like. white knight him and bite your face off btw. i like wilbur but this *is* genuine curiosity pls dont be afraid lmfaoksdsdfkhf

ah yeah, sorry nonnie, and no worries. sorry for the rant ahead i just wanna lay it all out.

listen, its pure vibes, i dont really have an explanation for it. i liked him just generally for a while, but i watched a video where he talked about american gun control and it just came off super uck to me. like, a lot of british lefties have this weird thing where they will assume americans are all stupid just for kicks when we've actually been indoctrinated to think the way we do. i guess i just dont like seeing brits have political takes that are just pure "america needs to get its shit together" cause yeah bro we know, focus on whatever the fuck is up with ur government please. I feel like if i talked politics with wilbur soot he would be condescending as shit and basically explain to me what socialism is or whatever when its like, dude,, please. british lefties think they know more than the average young american, which is most of the time not true, or not something to insult someone over. (this is also because he reminds me of a shitty ex friend who was in the states for AMERICAN STUDIES but would just talk on and on and on about how dumb americans were -___-)

and its more than that, i never get idolization of people, like, online people. the closest ive come to it was technoblade maybe? gtws is pretty awesome too, bbh is low level idolization maybe. so it weirds me out when people are just in awe over him, makes my instincts go wild. im really not accusing him of anything, i know this is just the silly brain reacting silly. it just weirds me out. his fans do not know him, nobody's fans know the person, and yet they act like they do, and like he's gods gift to leftism and queerness when he is,, a cishet maybe-aro upperclass man from britain. nothing against him really.

oh, and his fans tick me off because theyre ALWAYS inserting him into things and just. listen, i dont like having to scroll through tons of wilbur fics in the qsmp tag when im just trying to get to some badboyhalo or etoiles centric fics. the man has been on the qsmp for like less than a week of playtime and he's the fourth most tagged character on the qsmp ao3 tag.

not to mention he gets dragged into other plots like "what if this actually happened to wilbur!" or "yeah but what if wilbur was there!" or my most hated "cant wait till this character meets wilbur because i cannot enjoy this media (which is about finding and enjoying a bunch of ccs) if it doesnt have my guy in it!" like i get it, you have a hyperfix or a special interest, ive been there, but maybe then go watch stuff he's actually in, instead of forcing him into a plot he really isnt that big a part of anymore.

people also praised his dsmp writing when it was,, average at best. honestly i think bbh's and the eggpire's writing did way more for the dsmp because they actually tried to include other people in the plot as much as possible, instead of just writing for you and a few of your friends. imo, c!wilbur was an ok character, like, nothing bad, but nothing extraordinary for me. utah is death, ok buddy got it, wow, insane. yeah yeah we've all been to the soul sucking pit of utah, haha i get it. << this is just pure salt ignore that lmao

oh and lovejoy didnt fuckin invent political indie rock, people need to get over themselves on that one.

so yeah, its just a thing of, i cant really bring myself to like him. the brain goes wonky when he's around. kinda wish i didnt like, get angry when he's on screen but idk i cant really stop myself. nothing againstt you if you like him, ill usually tag anyy wilbur neg with #wilbur crit so if you wanna mute that tag. i dont post it too often tho.

[milo-is-rambling]

Getting too high and having to make a choice between no light in the bathroom (okay. I will admit there is a night light. I am not ashamed.) and getting anxious of the dark or bright brain buzzy ceiling light or mirror light like oughhhh it’s so bad. It’s either spooky gross dark where you’re grossed out by bug and brother hair pile potential bc he showered earlier and he is a yucky dude in his mid twenties with long hair and a beard to trim and so he leaves hair EVERYWHERE and the bathroom is SO SMALL and it makes me SO ANNOYED. But it’s fine. If I ever talk about it with him he would be like ugh. Eye roll. Get over it. I’d tell my mom about it for the millionth time and she would say yeah i don’t care solve it between yourselves and my brother and I are both stubborn and so he just wouldn’t clean and eventually I would do it when we have a guest or I get too sick of seeing hair tumbleweeds flying across the bathroom floor (AND THE LIVING ROOM. LIKE LITERALLY. THEY TUMBLE OFF HIS HEAD AND ROAM THE HOUSE LIKE ITS ON AN ADVENTURE AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY BUT I DONT WANT TO PICK UP HIS NASTY HAIR BALL BC I ALREADY HAVE TO FUCKING SNAKE HIS HAIR OUT OF ALL THE BATHROOM DRAINS LIKE ONCE A MONTH ITS AWFUL anyways. I chose sitting in the dark on the edge of the tub and I moved the wet bathmat against the wall to deal with later. At some point. Honestly maybe after I get over the too high anxiety headache nausea thing I’ll deep clean the bathroom and play my music on a little speaker and just like. Exist happily and tell my brother to shut up bc I am going to clean so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh about the music please and thank you I can’t wear wired headphones while scrubbing and i don’t have Bluetooth ones anymore since one of my AirPods broke and I never got it fixed and then I got anxious about Bluetooth not connecting and then my dad died so I got his big over ear headphones that I cherish SO MUCH hey remember the other day when (honestly can’t remberr if I posted this or put it in my journal but) I said that everything always leads back to grief in my brain and that’s why everything feels so abundantly challenging is bc this grief takes over my life in the smallest ways when I’m left to think I mean I’m typing rapid fire high thoughts bc that’s what this blog is but like this is five minutes of thinking yknow left alone in my head it just comes back to grief and like idk it’s just wild.

[ryttu3k]

A selection of moments from my last session/s of Tavias' run. All spoilery for endgame. Image-heavy, used all 30 image slots.

"When I said I wanted to get more in touch with my draconic ancestry, this was not what I had in mind."

This is an interesting example because Tavias was in this situation. Two days ago. And his exact response was, "Actually, I would rather die than become a monster under a more powerful being's thrall."

Not capped: *gross sobbing over Dear Ansur*

Not capped: Just for the record, the line that officially pushed Astarion from approval 99 to approval 100 was:

Halsin: "Perhaps you'd care for a little extra company..."

Tavias: "The more the merrier!"

Astarion: *approves*

(I hc he's quietly nursing a raging crush on Halsin and the V relationship absolutely has the potential to turn into a full triangle, and not just because I'm hopeless for Halstarion.)

I really wish you could talk to Astarion about this later. I'm very glad you can talk to Halsin, but this should be addressed too! I'm glad he feels confident and safe enough to push his own boundaries, I just really wish we could like... check in on him and make sure he's doing okay. See also: helping Halsin recognise that what happened to him was trauma.

Seven years too late (he was seventeen years old, Ulder), but finally some parental approval!

<3

Not capped: the forehead touch after the kiss with Halsin is. Goddamn adorable ;_;

Genuinely motivational tbh

This is what we call an, "Ah fuck" moment.

Okay so. Orin basically saved the world.

Like obviously the Brain breaking free from the influence of the crown is a bad thing. But consider the alternative - a Brain who willingly follows the Dark Urge. A Brain who doesn't rebel, that rebellion leading to its ultimate downfall. A Brain who does follow the Dark Urge is a Brain in a world where Bhaal wins.

But Orin was jealous. Orin wanted her father's love. Orin attacks her sibling, and that sibling wakes up and goes, actually, you know what? I don't think I do want to be Bhaal's puppet for the rest of my existence, and the world is saved.

Dude there are plenty of other options that don't involve that. What is wrong with you.

Not capped: Beorn Wunterbrood being like, "Balduran's grace be with you" and Tavias just going, "......yeahhhhh haha about that, there's a non-zero chance we're gonna have to kill Balduran. Just. Just so you know."

You got it, boss. #ResistDurgeIsChosenOfJergalTruther

Not capped: "I always dreamed of walking these halls, you know. My dreams never included a giant brain or smoldering ruins, but I'll take what I can get~" I <3 him what a goddamn dork.

Not capped: you know this is the part where I'd have to be like. Yeah you guys go ahead. Yeah I'm gonna sit this one out. Why? Well, do I look like I can climb the giant squishy completely vertical tube while it actively tries to fly? No no if someone can teleport me up I can fight but otherwise I may have to sit this one out.

For the first time... quiet at last.

Oh this shit hurts ;_;

He chose against apotheosis this time <3 I can only surmise that what happened in Tae's run was that saying, no, fuck Mystra, you don't owe her anything, made him decide to act against her? This is still... not necessarily a great ending for Gale, because it still requires capitulating to the desires of his abuser, even if it does mean being free of the Orb (and not becoming Cringegod(tm). It's the best possible ending for him, yes, but I wish there was an option for him to acknowledge that what Mystra did to him was awful and he didn't deserve to be treated like that, and be able to reject the Crown.

Not capped: still! goddamn! hate! how Astarion running from the sun is almost played for laughs! I got Gale's line in this one and hearing how dismissive and flippant it is compared to what'll be the new line, where he sounds genuinely horrified and worried and openly states they'll need to be a good friend to him and offer him comfort, is... god. Dramatic difference. "Welp, that's the last we'll see of him!" that original line is so wrong ;_;

Glad she was able to make the decision herself. Forcing her just feels wrong.

I like this <3 Halsin still carries out his dream, but the relationship doesn't end, it's just. Long-distance, haha.

It's interesting how this plays out if you do Halsin poly, because it has the scene of Halsin waking up next to the PC, they talk about where things go, they walk off hand in hand... then it has the scene of Astarion waking up next to the PC, they talk about... etc XD I'd love if they included a poly option with all three of them, so you can get just the Halsin one, or just the Astarion one, or one where you talk to both at the same time. IIRC the only relationships where you can do Halsin poly is with Astarion or Shadowheart, so that's only two extra scenes they'd have to work out! It just feels a bit awkward as it is, with both scenes playing one after the other?

Anyway. The Astarion scene <3 This is the bit where I got all misty-eyed because. The reflection of, "What do you want?" "You. I want... you", and the beautiful Durge-specific line of being able to choose family... ;_;

They absolutely get together while in Avernus <3

Final decisions: Orpheus requests a merciful death, which Tavias provides. Lae'zel chooses to go to war. Gale returns the crown to Mystra. Wyll offers to accompany Karlach to Avernus, and she chooses to accept. Halsin goes to start a new community for those in need, with his relationship with Tavias continuing. Tavias and Astarion stay together and look for a way for Astarion to walk in the sun again.

There will be a separate post just for the epilogue, once I sort the, uh, 723 screencaps I took for it!

[multifandomfreak]

Spoilers for TheInvisibleDavis's SCP Series

As someone who is about 3/4 through season one ish, its pretty good so far. With it being a minecraft rp, things are very aprofessional and the editor just doesnt give a flying fuck. Sometimes the bg music is way to loud, sometimes the plot is interrupted by someone needing to leave. They can take it out, but they just don't, and its incredibly frustrating. I don't love it, but like, its investing, the drama is solid, and scps are really cool.

Onto the characters themselves:

Davis- He's cold and bitter, seems to deny any sort of positivity, and is all around a bitch. He complains about pretty much anything, and I understand where he's coming from in his situation, but g o d it can get annoying. But he also has his reasons. His ability causing him to remember how he dies every time he comes back, there is an insane amount of horror this man has seen. Hes died from both scps and people over and over again. He's taken advantage of his ability and will try time and time again under the idea he can get what he wants in the end. He's become pretty messed up and depressed in this state. He's either used or waiting to be used and he will do anything to get out. A total badass, but like I get tired of him complianing. Like dude you have a bed. remember being D-class? Yeah fuckin' appreciate it before its gone and you're back at square one. You don't have to pretend to be happy, just value what you got.

And with his trust issues, he can never see the good in the people he's working with (Kat SHE DESERVES BETTER) and its both his and the foundation's fault for this. Kat had to treat him like an experiment. She had to treat d-class like that, but Davis didn't get that. He still doesn't because he REFUSES to believe any of the researchers no matter how much integrity they show. Kind of silly and annoying of him, but thats kinda how trauma works.

I also forgot to mention I really liked him early on. He was like this angry lil guy who was pissed in his circumstance. His ability was rediscovered after those anesthetics messed with his brain. The atmosphere was great. These solitary rooms as Davis sees just how large this place is in his attempts to break free. The endless staircase and the meat room were probably my favorite parts of pre-scp Davis. I liked the mystery of that a lot.

After that its just been moments where there isn't much horror to it, but the angst is really good sometimes.

Once he found out he was a father, that frustration I had with him has lessened, given that kid is the one thing that makes him happy in this personal hell of his. And he only got to see the kid once and since hes been transparent about that. The thing is the foundation doesn give a fuck, so Harkmann and Kat had to put in work just to get it to happen. Again, Davis just doesn't think they care. I think I just want him to be a better person... and like maybe his son will do that. That'd be very sweet.

I also find it funny that Davis's self insert is a jacked badass who cannot die.

Kat- I like her. I didn't have much to say about her for a good chunk of the series, but she's the embodiment of "trying her best :'(" Shes new to her job, she just wants to help people, and shes gone through some awful stuff. For one, shes had to live through some horrific events. Containment breaches, held at gunpoint, stalked to the point where she couldn't stay in her own home, and kidnapped by that Cain cult. She lies that her kindness is for the complicity of Davis. That's just... tragic. At least she has a good relationship with Dr. Harkmann.

SPEAKING OF:

Dr. Harkmann- He's complicated for me. On one hand he came off as pretty kind and thoughtful of his fellow researchers, but if you get on his bad side, he can be brutal. That's sounds cool, but it hurts from the fact Davis had to go through some more torture after he blackmailed the foundation and Kat's life. He got pretty protective of her and goes pretty easy on her compared to the other colleages. It's not out of sexism so I respect that greatly. But kinda like Davis he can be a bitch. He feel like he has to put on this mask to be a cold and collected scientest and see any SCP as an experiement, no matter the sentience. He was also kind of taught to be that way. Idk his story is cool, I'm just not a big fan of who he is.

Reggie- Not enough screentime or standout scenes to form an opinion. He developed a hatred for Davis after... something went wrong. 99% sure it was the gunpoint situation, but it could have also been the time he knew he was killed. The time where- idk he was pretty chill but I just kind of stopped caring about him after some time I was watching.

Uh anyways. Good series. Lotta bad pacing (imo) so I get bored easily. 3/4 of them need therapy. Kat just got to see a therapist from where I'm at.

And otso, almost forgot him. Ill talk about him when im more awake im stupid tired.

[buntress]

HEHEHEHHEE YES OKAY OKAY SO

danny canonically (well, canon enough, it was a remark from the developers) has npd right. and I have hpd and bpd and they share a lot of symptoms, being cluster b personality disorders and all. so I can proudly say

that man has awful identity issues. he spent so long pretending to be other people for praise, attention and safety that he has no idea who "Danny Johnson" is at all. sometimes he isn't even sure he's actually human. he likely dissociates a lot. he only really thought about it a while after he got taken by the entity, seeing there isnt anything to do outside of trials hes likely been in his own mind most of the time.

he may act buddy-buddy with them as a sort of second nature but he's really insecure with himself and so manifests it as hatred for other killers. (it may also be the 'canon' reason ghostface players tend to be very chill with survivors, despite him being a misanthrope. he feels safer with them because he has the cloak of superiority and being a threat with them which he doesnt have with the killers ykyk) after all he's just an average guy with a knife and knowledge on stalking, hes not overly strong without the entity's help, or tall, or supernatural in any way. to him his "backstory" isnt even bad as any of the other killers, to him at least. (it definitely was, man was literally groomed to be a murderer by his dad. but your trauma never looks as bad as the other people's you know)

also hes FTM and was 3 years on T up until he got taken by the entity (his body time kinda paused after that so he didnt revert to being feminine dw). he still has a set of tits and a coochie because in his words "surgery recovery is a waste of time, it will get suspicious if ghostface goes silent for 6 whole months" :3 he's happy with his body though... mostly. anyway thats the reason he's always hunching during trials. cant wear a binder during a chase thatd be inconvenient (please imagine a ghostface coughing and wheezing and begging the survivors to wait for him now. thank you)

he's still silly, a little clumsy but its one of the things he's less insecure about tbh. an all serious ghostface is not fun and not what wes craven would want.

anyway I need him to get a therapist so bad. bbygirl dw you wont lose your spark the spark in question is you dissociating for hours at a time on your apartment bed having a barbie movie moment like "what was I made for..." therapy will help you babygirl I promi-

THESE ARE ALL SUCH FUCKING GOOD HEADCANONS OKOKOK SO

to share my own while i am at it Teehee (i love him so much)

I def agree on the dissociation and fucked up sense of identity, mans is a messed up lil fuck and def needs to go see an entity ordered therapist. I personally def put Danny on the aro spectrum (i dont think ace personally, aroallo moment imo) though i think more on the demi or greyaro side, and if any of the survivors are ever like, flirty he just stares at them and slowly shakes his head because oh no babygirl one thats a bad idea to try and do and two you are not the person my brain has made an exception for thats for fucking sure

(I'm demiromantic myself so I describe it like that bc im basically aromantic until my brain makes an Exception(tm))

Alsoalsoalso very down for him not being friends with the other killers bc hatred and lowkey jealousy but I think he looks at the legion kids and is like "Cool, I'm your uncle now." because they're the only ones like him at all, just normal dudes even smaller than he is because theyre basically just fucked up teenagers so he feels a slight kinship and he definitely doesn't play favorites at all (this is a lie Suzy is his perfect little baby and he goes full cool uncle mode with her 100% all the time)

Also Also because self shipping noises when/if a survivor or killer (im using survivor mostly bc that's where I see myself self insert wise) does catch his interest in a romantic he genuinely just fucking panics and doesn't know what the fuck to do about it. He fumbles with them a lot and suddenly most of his smooth and cool dude exterior? Gone. Vanished. Fumbling even more than usual and it makes him SO MAD so he just.......threatens them a lot and hooks them a lot because fuck you stop making me feel things i hate you but also please just like hold my hand or something what the fuck

When finally the survivor is like DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMAGE and blows up on his ass he's like IDK MAN YOU GIVE ME BIG FEELINGS AND I DON'T LIKE IT COULD YOU STOP MAYBE????

anyways when that shits sorted I imagine it being a mutual (healthy) obsession thing where Danny treats his partner like they're the entity incarnate and partner does similar for him and everyone is disgusted by it but at least everytime partner is around in trials he's nice to them so like they can't complain.

If it was a killer though they would become absolute terrors and no one would be safe ever. Skip through the moldy corn fields holding hands kinda shit. Absolute fucking idiots.

(Also at one point he tries to give partner a bouquet of flowers except it was like 4 dandelions and a leaf and he ate one of the dandelions)

Anyways I love Danny Johnson I am kissing him on the mouth

[dbphantom]

for the fic thing, numbers 4, 20, 33

Ah thank you!!

The fic writer questions post

I'm sorry in advance, this got really long, so I had to switch to desktop halfway through to format it so it wasn't just a big block of text 😅 Like... I'm sorry. Genuinely, I am really sorry.

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

I'm going to do Alkali [ffxv H2O AU] because it's the one I'm currently knee-deep in. I hope that's alright! Truth be told I'm proud of a ton of tiny details in that fic, but my favorite is the change in what fire represents as the fic goes on to parallel Ignis's feelings about himself and the others. It's one of my favorite little descriptions to 'hide' throughout while I'm writing because there's just so much you can do with it.

Fire is dangerous, but it can also represent safety and home. Also it looks beautiful and provides comfort, but if you get too close it will burn you. Something something masquerading as light and leaving only blackened ash something something. Lux Et Umbrae or whatever. Generic stuff. You know. It's enrichment for me though, so I have fun with it.

I think the point where his view on it begins to pivot for the better is after the diner scene with the TV when him and Noct have a chat at camp that night, because Noct is the light of my fucking life surprisingly good at saying awkwardly nice things. Like, okay, he's actually awful at it, but the sentiment is there. Also fire is actually really important in the backstory fic [hang on, I'm getting ahead of myself-] and there's a similar evolution in its meaning for Celor [Ignis's uncle] as well, though his development with it is a bit more straightforward and... Obvious? I guess XD

If you want something a bit more silly, I've hidden exactly 7 H2O: Just Add Water and 2 Aquamarine references in the parts I've written out so far. And 3 Ariel references in Ardyn's dialogue. Oh, you poor unfortunate soul...

20. If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

CELOR. cough. I technically have one fully planned [chapters and all], the catch is I actually have to finish the current fic first and oh boy. This backstory fic is technically split into 2 parts. Celor B.B [before baby] and Celor A.B [after baby]. <- I wish I were kidding, but that's how it's split in my brain. It's a lot of years!

Before is the whole 'King Regis and his sluts the gang go on that funky little road trip during the war' thing, which basically establishes Celor as a character, the Scientias in relation to the royal family, and his relationships with the other OGs [Old Guys]. Basically, it goes into detail of what happened in Altissia that caused Weskham to get injured and how the other guys found out about Celor.

It also details the events of that one throwaway dlc? Like some dude showed up in Insomnia? Idk, it was so weird. U might not remember it [joking. Episode Ardyn, M.E 734]. Celor wasn't there for the main event, so he doesn't! He was off working with Drautos to evacuate civilians and stuff. Which kinda starts off their whole one-sided rivalry because Drautos sees some stuff and is like '🤔' about it. Celor is... well, to put it nicely, an oblivious idiot and doesn't even realize, so Titus is snooping around and everyone in the Citadel is like 'dude stop' except for the guy he's actually investigating. I also believe that Drautos has pretty much always been working with the empire. It's not specified when, but you don't become high commander of an army overnight [stares down Ravus]... Just kinda weird that he had time to pull that while also captaining the Kingsglaive, so I think he's always been allied with the Imperials. I digress.

After this attack is over the kids are all born (or cloned, lol) [basically... give it like 2 years and everyone exists] and we enter the A.B era where Celor proves just how bad of a parental figure he can be. For the record, I don't normally like killing off parents in fics too often but, well, Ignis doesn't have any mentioned in canon, so it feels weird to just have them suddenly exist in present-day... Celor is already toeing the line of being a full-fledged OC because there are TWO LINES in the audio story Parting Ways where Ignis's uncle speaks and then I did ALL OF THIS with him. 😮‍💨

Anyway, Ignis's parents' names are Julia Scientia and Harry [who married into House Scientia and took the name]. I named Julia for one of the OG mermaids in H2O, who likely had Rikki's power, and Harry for Rita's fiance in Mako Mermaids who ISN'T a total jerkface, thank you, Karl, you fuckboy- his sole existence made me distrust Karl MM so hard my first time through lol. Anyway, given their names you can probably guess their stories, but also they both die at the end. As parents do when you're discussing protagonist backstories [stares in Aulea].

Julia is the identical twin of Celor [yes, I'm implying he's transgender, do you think their parents named her Julia and him CELOR? Hell no, that's a transmasc name if I've ever picked one-] and Ignis takes after her, and therefore looks a lot like Celor (a lot of people confuse him as being Celor's son). That's why, in chapter 1 of Alkali, Ignis is standing there musing if the mermaid-looking daemon Noct killed in the arcade game would've looked like him. It's not explained why he thinks that in the text, but there you go. Reasons! Oh, also, Julia and Harry are killed by a mob for suspicion of housing a daemon after Julia is discovered, leaving their house burning to the ground and Celor returning with a 2 year old to... that... [seriously, the civilians in this universe are kind of hardcore and not in a good way...].

Celor takes Ignis back to the Citadel after a lot of [kinda superficial because pretty much everyone knows what happened] questioning and Regis (who is also actively mourning his fucking wife and raising a newborn) is like "whatcha got there, bud" and Celor's like "trauma" and Regis just nods and lets it happen. Not... not actually, but that's basically how it goes. Dude gets it. By god bahamut does he get it. Clarus is working overtime so hard to help them both learn how to be a dad. Anyway, you can imagine Celor's surprise when Ignis comes into his magic and it turns out to be temperature control. AKA this kid can now light stuff on fire whenever he wants. Even more bad when it's emotionally-tied. Celor and Cor, uh, put a lid on that ticking time bomb real quick. Just, fully shoved it in the shoe box and wrapped it in 7 layers of duct tape and buried it in the woods. It's not still ticking. IT'S NOT. [It is. :(]

To make things... a little more clear, Celor isn't a bad parent, he's doing his best, but also he's absent-minded and kinda paranoid about keeping the secret after what happened to his sister. Which, you know, a very valid reaction, but also causes him and Ignis to argue a lot over it, especially regarding Noct, especially after the whole Marilith thing. Celor actually argued against Ignis becoming Noct's advisor at all, but Clarus eventually pushed him into it because the kid's gotta live his life at some point, you know? [You might notice some parallels between Clarus and Gladio throughout, because they tend to be the voice of reason :V (most of the time lol)]. But yeah, after the whole Marilith thing, while Noct and Regis are in Tenebrae, Ignis and Celor get into a huge fight about who gets to know about the secret, Celor takes Ignis to the Lux Et Umbrae museum exhibit to make things up to his nerd of a nephew, and I get to loredump about Solheim and how merpeople came to be under Leviathan :) Of course the museum is a little... off... on the details given they view merpeople as a legend about variants of darkness daemons, but still. Shapeshifters show up on full moon nights to steal the bodies of your loved ones and make you one of them, blah, blah. Celor explains it better from what he knows, and Ignis learns about their connection to Leviathan.

Which, oops! Because this kid is pretty determined and he near immediately formulates a plan to summon Leviathan and bargain with her to become 'normal'. Hence the necklace. Which, yeah! Iggy's skull necklace is an important part of Alkali. I don't really bring up too often until they reach Altissia. See, the bargain ended up working... for about a month, until Leviathan intentionally meddled with the set rules to get what she wants (as you do when you're a jealous, vengeful god that also wants your other god friend to, you know, NOT nuke the entire planet). Because Ignis even bargained with her in the first place, and due to the rules she set, he basically gives up his half of the bargain to 'save' Noct's life (it was not actually in danger... parallels!) and still has to pay Leviathan back for her half. The necklace is his reminder of that. A literal chain around his neck. Anyway during this whole thing, oops, Drautos sees some stuff and is like '??????' and passes this info on over to Ardyn who is like '👀👀 interesting...' because, you know, he's an immortal bitch with memories from tons of people and also literally Ifrit. Who was there when Leviathan made merpeople because she was jealous. Jealous and vengeful. Not a good combo... But, yeah, Ardyn easily puts two-and-two together. So, when the Titan roadtrip caravan scene happens in Alkali, it should make a bit more sense. It didn't really NEED explaining, because it's Ardyn, but hey. I did. Bite me.

[And, YES, technically Leviathan was sleeping at this time, but it's more of a dream-state of her being summoned than actually her. I... didn't exactly want 7-8 year old Ignis summoning a literal, very miffed god in the middle of Insomnia's bay. If you know the first ever scene of the water dragon appearing in Mako Mermaids, it's something like that. Water and moonlight and rancid vibes. That's actually another plot point in Alkali, because when they're in Altissia Leviathan wants to wake up on her own terms, so she's trying to get Ignis to the Altar of the Tide Mother to wake her up permanently with his blood. Hey... it comes full circle... ... I should write an offshoot of this where it actually works and angst happens. Hmmm...]

Anyway, things happen after that pretty much as written in Alkali already, though this backstory fic would also cover the fall of Insomnia from Celor's perspective and his death :( It's funny because throughout this, Celor goes from loathing fire, seeing it as the brutal destructive force, to seeing it as hope and joy as seen through the eyes of kid Ignis learning his magic [contrast that to how Ignis views his own magic after training lol], and then after Ignis leaves Insomnia, fire goes back to being this awful uncaring force of nature that ends up getting Celor killed. Well, okay, it was mostly Drautos. But fire played a big part in it. And that's Celor's story. Pathetic merman uncle.

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

Um, well. If the above showed you anything, I tend to write a lot... Sorry about that. I would say 20ish chapters is normally what I plan, but then everything goes off the rails. I intended for Alkali to be about 15 chapters, then it hit 20, then 30, now we're at 67 in planning and counting. Now if only I could actually write it all XD

And no, I love all kinds of fic!! One-shots, multi-chapters... So long as the premise is good, I'm here for it. I won't guarantee I remember to finish all the fics I start reading, but the chapter length has never held me back on starting them before. I just have a bad memory and never check my bookmarks :( Which I should do more often!!! Maybe I will do so tonight...

Anyway, thank you so much for letting me ramble about this! I really appreciate it, I'm always itching to talk about the stuff that lurks in my brain. 💙💙 I owe you one.