#doing a silly little jig I struggle with hygiene bc im mentally ill. you know. basically IDKKK
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itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago
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also im so sick of the acne like its so annoying and its such bullshit bc im not on t anymoreee i havent been for months so can we wrap it up I know my hormones r all over the place bc i was on and off t so willynilly for a while but now i have been off t for like. literally a year atp i think. so we should be settled and that means acne you may leave
#i didnt even have acne during my like. first puberty. granted i started t when i was 16 (january 28th 2021 if you were curiousssss.#it was such a niiiiiiice dayyyyy and i had on my favorite skirt and i was so happy abt starting t and then my granny suddenly died. which#obv sad but like tactically it was very helpful on her part bc now ill always remember the day i started t.#but ya. and then i was on and off it A TON mainly for like. insurance reasons and then like me being shitty at taking medication#consistently. iam happy with the changes but i also feel like i like. well yk i wanna go back on it eventually. but i have had some changes#my voice is def deeper than it would be i have my shitty tstache i think my face looks more masc Mostly bc everybody spontaneously started#telling me i look like my dad. and other changes but were in polite company. so im not going to talk about my penis. KJBFSIUBFEJB but ya.#but the fucking acne likee. i didnt have any during my first puberty aside from like. id occasionally get ONE smack dab between my eyebrows#or on the tip of my nose. very rarely id get both at the same time#but now my cheeks r like the fucking mountains. and i donot like ittt bc idk why. ik acne is genetic and theres nothing bad abt having acne#i jsut dont understand why i do and i am insecure abt it . i apologize .#idk. maybe my facewash is actually hurting bc recently my nose hass been feeling a bit dry after using it#i also dont shower enough. ik acne is genetic and not a cleanliness thing necessarily but i do need to shower more thats just a thing abt m#doing a silly little jig I struggle with hygiene bc im mentally ill. you know. basically IDKKK#i only wash my face once a day (on good days . when i do my morning and night routines)#and then in the mornings i just do water. yk... i only use the actual wash at night. but idkkkkk#+ i probably do have acne scars. i cant tell bc of The acne but i am The picker .. sigh . its ok. im working on achieving neutrality with#all of that so my tactic is to be like I will have acne scars bc i picked at my face. and i try not to attach anything else to that#statement i just try to be like well this because that. and im working on that for everything like. yk. I always get weird abt talking abt#it esp nowadays bc my brain gets mad at me for 'failing' it (tbc its a good thing i failed it) but yk. it helps with the that stuff ...
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