#doing a public demonstration on the quad

[beesvines]

What if I killed myself instead of going to class tmr

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Talia Emrani

Tensions have been rising across college campuses nationwide as Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) groups have erected “Gaza Solidarity Encampments” in response to Israel’s conduct during the current Hamas-instigated war.

Hidden between demands for their universities to sever ties with Israel and all Israel-related products, these encampments have not stopped short of promoting violence and antisemitism. Unsurprisingly, UCLA has become a breeding ground for this current wave of Jew-hatred.

Early on the morning of April 25, 2024, UCLA’s SJP chapter set up tents on the university’s main quad, demanding that the university cut ties with Israel and allow them unrestricted protest, regardless of legality.

For eight whole days, these protestors freely expressed their antisemitic and anti-US anarchical rhetoric. Law enforcement eventually intervened, removing the protestors and dismantling the encampment.

But why was such hostility allowed for eight whole days? Why wasn’t this unlawful, hateful demonstration disbanded from the outset?

It’s hard to imagine that administrators felt handcuffed to arguments of free speech. Any other  members spewing hateful, violent rhetoric on campus would never be able to enjoy the same privileges that these encampment members did.

The anti-Israel protestors were allowed to spend their days shouting out antisemitic chants like “long live the intifada,” over a loudspeaker — all while representing their movement as a “student intifada” that needed to be “protected” by the administration.

The word “intifada” literally translates to “uprising” in Arabic, and represents two periods of mass violence and terrorism against innocent Israelis that included suicide bombings, public bus bombings, and the murder of infants.

Protestors also vandalized UCLA’s campus and held banners with antisemitic messages, such as writing in Arabic to ask Hamas’ military wing to “burn Tel Aviv to the ground,” and drawing a Star of David with directions to “step here.”

How can they honestly call for “justice” and “peace” while at the same time demanding the opposite? And yet, UCLA’s leaders felt no need to put an end to this malicious gathering.

If the barbaric rhetoric wasn’t enough, these protestors used their platform to repeatedly harass, and in some cases, even attack Jewish students suspected of being Zionist and peaceful pro-Israel activists.

During a pro-Israel counter-protest the following Sunday, April 28, when a student bent down to pick up a dropped Israeli flag, a pro-Palestinian mob surrounded her and kicked her in the head repeatedly.

In another shocking antisemitic incident that day, after an anti-Israel protester failed to destroy a pro-Israel protester’s sign, she violently tore his hat off and threatened to use her taser on him while brandishing the weapon in his face.

Again, the UCLA administration did nothing. This begs the question, are they afraid of being attacked themselves, or do they think any pro-Israel or Jewish students don’t deserve safety?

All of these instances clearly breach UCLA’s Student Group Conduct Code, which prohibits the “use or display of a weapon,” and “harassment in any form.” If administrators truly believe that assaulting and threatening to harm Jews does not violate the code, then it’s unclear what behavior would.

It took five entire days for the administration to simply recognize that Jewish UCLA students have undergone significant emotional distress, but then offering only a minimal gesture of care that amounted to little more than virtue signaling performative action.

We demand an explanation for why it took more than a week to remove these antisemites masquerading as peace activists from our campus.

We demand that such hateful protestors face adequate consequences for their actions, so that all students can once again feel safe.

UCLA administrators cannot continue to claim that they foster a safe and inclusive environment while barely lifting a finger to protect a vulnerable minority currently facing such unabashed hate.

It is time for the administration to prioritize the safety of Jewish students and take tangible steps to combat antisemitism on campus. The question is, will they?

[v3nusxsky]

A fresh start

*Authors note~ the first chapter of the story is here I hope you guys like it*

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

They say that every ending is a new beginning we just don't know it yet. That was something you truly believed in, that was why when you closed your door on your past relationship you were excited to see the new one opening. You had no idea where it would take you or what what your new adventure would bring but that was what life is. A bunch of new experiences that would make your story of life. Opening yourself up to new experiences was nerve wracking but for some reason life always had a way of getting you exactly where you needed to be.

That just so happened to be leaving your home town. A fresh start, with new people in a new place. A chance to shake off the past and finally do what makes you happy. Teaching was always something you wanted to do, you are passionate about helping children create a better future for themselves and the world. But specifically you loved the idea of teaching outcasts. Children that are notoriously overlooked and unwanted in the public eye. Children that are overlooked and under appreciated by other people. Children who deserve the same love care attention and education that everyone else gets.

Finding Nevermore appeared to be what fate designed for you. So when it came to accepting the job offer for a job as the potions teacher, you moved into the school the same day, the principal seeming nice enough and from what you heard about the students you couldn't wait to get started. Obviously you had a busy time ahead but that's just what the doctor ordered. You crashed as soon as you were shown to your room, which just so happened to be right next door to the principals room.

It took a few days to get your room to feel like yours and honestly you hadn't had time to explore much of the school grounds or meet any of the other staff members really, you'd seen some in passing buy no where near having a friend. The principal would check on you every now and then to see how you were settling in. But it never went above and beyond that. So now you had your room sorted and a few lessons planned you decided to take a walk to get familiar with your surroundings.

To say Nevermore was beautiful was an understatement truly, the stone walls that are entangled with vines looking like something from the princess fairy tales you watched as a child. The inside of the school being more Morden but none the less, sophisticated and beautiful in its own right. The halls seeming rather wide and the quad very relaxing, although you could imagine with groups rambunctious teenagers would put pay to the tranquility.

In your wondering you managed to find your classroom for the year. It was light and airy and definitely had enough room for a cauldron and live demonstrations with the whole class. You made your way to your desk and began to flick through the notes you found on your desk, containing things like the code of the computer and curriculum and class lists for the semester. You were so engaged in what you were reading, taking on every single bit of information you possibly could, that you missed the arrival of someone at your door.

"I see you found your way around now?" Larissa stated with a kind smile which caused you to flush a bright red. "I yeah I was just reading over the notes I was left, really want to be prepared for when the children come in next week" you murmured back tearing your eyes from the paper and becoming starstruck by the sight of the tall blonde. There was no dying she is attractive of course but she's you boss and it's so inappropriate that you push those feelings down. "Very smart miss Parker, have you got the chance to see Jericho?"

You and Larissa made pleasant conversations and she even gave you a few suggestions of places to check out. The weathervane being her favourite and apparently they sold amazing hot chocolate. After reassuring her that you would indeed explore more of Jericho another day she reminded you that her office door was always open, she knew how overwhelming it could be and always made sure to be there for her staff members which you were now one of. You could see life being to look up and there was nothing more you were ready for than this new chapter of life.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Diana Ramirez-Simon at The Guardian:

Violent clashes broke out on the campus of the University of California in Los Angeles early on Wednesday morning when counter-demonstrators attacked a pro-Palestinian protest encampment, hours after New York City police cleared pro-Palestinian protesters out of an academic building that had been taken over at Columbia University. Aerial footage showed people wielding sticks or poles to attack wooden boards being held up as a makeshift barricade to protect pro-Palestinian protesters at UCLA, some holding placards or umbrellas. At least one firework was thrown into the camp. Administrators at the university called in law enforcement officers to try to stem the violence, which is the worst since counter-protesters who support Israel set up a rival protest area near the pro-Palestinian encampment.

“Horrific acts of violence occurred at the encampment tonight and we immediately called law enforcement for mutual aid support,” Mary Osako, a vice-chancellor at the university, said. “The fire department and medical personnel are on the scene. We are sickened by this senseless violence and it must end.” Writing on X, the mayor of Los Angeles, Karen Bass, condemned the violence as “absolutely abhorrent and inexcusable”. LA police said in a post on X: “At the request of UCLA, due to multiple acts of violence within the large encampment on their campus, the LAPD is responding to assist UCLA PD, and other law enforcement agencies, to restore order and maintain public safety.”

Some of the counter-protesters began to leave the area at about 1.40am, after police in riot gear arrived and formed a line near the camp, the LA Times reported. But officers did not immediately break up the two sets of protesters, and clashes continued. Hours later, broadcast footage showed a police cordon slowly clearing a central quad beside the encampment. Ananya Roy, a geography professor at UCLA, condemned the university over its lack of response to the counter-protesters. “It gives people impunity to come to our campus as a rampaging mob,” she told the LA Times. “The word is out they can do this repeatedly and get away with it. I am ashamed of my university.” Katy Yaroslavsky, a Los Angeles councilwoman whose district includes UCLA, posted on X: “Everyone has a right to free speech and protest but the situation on UCLA’s campus is out of control and is no longer safe.” The clashes began in the early hours of Wednesday, shortly after Gene Block, the UCLA chancellor, said the campus’s pro-Palestine encampment was “unlawful”, adding that students who remained in it would face disciplinary action.

The 7 October attack on southern Israel by Hamas militants from Gaza and the ensuing Israeli offensive on the Palestinian territory have unleashed the biggest outpouring of US student activism since the anti-racism protests of 2020. Late on Tuesday, New York City police arrested dozens of pro-Palestinian demonstrators holed-up in an academic building on Columbia University campus in New York and removed a protest encampment that the Ivy League school had sought to dismantle for nearly two weeks. Live video images showed police in riot gear marching on the campus in upper Manhattan, the focal point of the nationwide student protests. Officers used an armoured vehicle with a bridging mechanism to gain entry to the second floor of the building.

Pro-Israel Apartheid agitators caused violence at the UCLA campus by attacking a pro-Palestinian protest encampment.

[readingsquotes]

"..Before this it was sunshine. Students were chanting. It’s so peaceful. Faculty were gathering around just observing. It’s just a beautiful day. Then the Georgia State Patrol just run in and attack.

...They were also clearing anybody who was right there. Students are just being pummeled. And so I go walking a few steps over, and then I see this child on the ground, a 20-year-old being pummeled by the police. There’s like two of them pulling and pushing. Her head is on the ground as she curled up in a ball, trying to put her arms over her head to keep them off of her. So I’m standing back six feet holding my camera at them, and I started yelling, “Stop, stop!”

....

I was part of the generation that protested for divestment from apartheid-supporting regimes. I studied at the University of Texas at Austin. We were engaged in civil disobedience to get the attention of the university. If you go to what they say is a speech zone, they’re not listening. They’re not paying attention. So you have to disrupt things.

This time I was there in support of student expression. For me, civil discourse includes chanting and yelling. The aim is to bring civil matters to public attention. And that is a vital part of a larger political process.

..

What are some of the conclusions that you’re drawing about what is happening?

It’s overreach. There are students peacefully demonstrating at Emory, and they’re engaging in an issue of public concern, and the administration is irritated because they’re on the quad where they’re going to hold a commencement next week.

.....I’ve now asked the president that question three times, and his answer is basically that he would try to disband the encampments maybe more peacefully. For him, disbanding the encampment was the thing he had to do. They’re not even considering alternatives.

This line of work is to help young people become engaged, informed citizens, and arresting them, beating them up is the opposite of that.

I’ve now asked the president that question three times, and his answer is basically that he would try to disband the encampments maybe more peacefully. For him, disbanding the encampment was the thing he had to do. They’re not even considering alternatives.

This line of work is to help young people become engaged, informed citizens, and arresting them, beating them up is the opposite of that.

[sa7abnews]

UNC braces as anti-Israel group dubbed 'voice for Hamas' condones 'armed rebellion': 'By any means necessary'

New Post has been published on https://sa7ab.info/2024/08/13/unc-braces-as-anti-israel-group-dubbed-voice-for-hamas-condones-armed-rebellion-by-any-means-necessary/

UNC braces as anti-Israel group dubbed 'voice for Hamas' condones 'armed rebellion': 'By any means necessary'

Anti-Israel agitators at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill are vowing resistance “by any means necessary” as the 2024-2025 school year officially begins on Aug. 18.An unofficial anti-Israel student group called UNC Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP), representing Chapel Hill, posted a commitment to “resist by any means necessary” and said it condones “all forms of principled action” in a July 31 Instagram post.The group, which has received funding from Hamas-linked groups, according to research from the Institute for the Study of Global Antisemitism and Policy, is responding to the arrest of some 40 agitators on campus in May, when they set up an encampment on the school’s quad to protest the Israel-Gaza war.”We will not be silenced. We will not be intimidated,” SJP wrote in an Instagram post on their account with more than 14,000 followers. “A group of the defendants has released these points of unity to express their commitment to collective defense, fighting as a unified bloc for ALL their charges to be dropped while not losing sight of the ultimate goal of Palestinian liberation.”UNC CHAPEL HILL BOARD VOTES TO DISMANTLE DEI PROGRAMS, USE FUNDS ON CAMPUS POLICE AFTER ANTI-ISRAEL PROTESTSThe points outlined in the Instagram post include support for “the right to resistance, not only in Palestine, but here in the imperial core.”The post further says that the “goals” of the United States and Israel “are the same: to colonize, kill, and steal in service of capitalist greed.”Irina Tsukerman, fellow at the Jerusalem Center for Public Affairs and the Arabian Peninsula Institute and also president of Scarab Rising, Inc., a security and geopolitical risk strategic advisory firm, told Fox News Digital that SJP is a national organization with local chapters, and while some of the group’s followers may be on college campuses, they also have supporters who are not college students and some who are not even U.S. citizens.ANTI-ISRAEL DEMONSTRATORS GATHER AT UNC-CHAPEL HILL CHANCELLOR’S OFFICE, SMEAR RED PAINT ON BUILDING”They do an outstanding job of portraying themselves as voices for Palestinians, whereas they are actually voices for Hamas,” Tsukerman said. “I think many people follow without really knowing them or their agenda. … Also, the people who follow SJP get sucked into believing it’s an actual human-rights effort … it’s people who are born activists, and not all of these people are even U.S. citizens.”Steve McGuire of the American Council of Trustees and Alumni (ACTA), a Paul & Karen Levy Fellow in Campus Freedom, told Fox News Digital that schools should take rhetoric posted by SJP on social media “seriously” because they have a duty to “protect their campus communities.”UNC STUDENT WHO DEFENDED AMERICAN FLAG FROM CAMPUS MOB ‘HONORED TO GIVE BACK TO THE NATION’He similarly described the group as “anti-Western, anti-civilizational revolutionaries.””Their goals are political or ideological. They obviously have to do with Gaza. … They have been one of the organizations that’s been behind helping students to organize and stage the various protests and encampments that we’ve seen on campuses around the country. Now … they say we condone all forms of principled action, including armed rebellion. Well, another word for armed rebellion in this context is terrorism,” McGuire said.UNC FRATERNITY BROTHERS DEFEND REINSTATED AMERICAN FLAG FROM CAMPUS MOB WHO REPLACED WITH PALESTINIAN FLAGHe added that administrators should be prepared for protesters to set up encampments and demonstrations in the fall as they did in the spring. ACTA is issuing a guide for colleges to respond to campus encampments on Tuesday to help colleges prepare for a response.”That’s one of the reasons, I think, that college and university leaders need to recognize that … while free expression is something that needs to be protected in America, on the other hand, they have every right and responsibility to protect the rights of others, to ensure the safety of members of their campus communities, and also to protect the integrity of their institutions,” McGuire explained.Tsukerman noted that social media misrepresents how many students are actually following the group’s support and activity among students. She said members of the group gather those who align themselves with “generic anti-Capitalist, radical leftist movements that are not about any specific agenda other than opposing Western systems,” Tsukerman said. They use “21st-century means of amplifying their voices” and shared goals, which are “anti-Israel, anti-capitalist and anti-democracy,” she added.Chapel Hill made headlines in the spring when anti-Israel protesters replaced an American flag on Chapel Hill’s quad with a Palestine flag and interim UNC Chancellor Lee Roberts stepped in with law enforcement officers to return the American flag.POLICE AT UNC CHAPEL HILL DETAIN AT LEAST 30 ANTI-ISRAEL PROTESTERS, CROWDS TRYING TO FORCE INTO BUILDINGSWhen activists, some who were not affiliated with Chapel Hill, tried to take the flag down a second time, a group of students, including fraternity brothers, stepped in to stop Old Glory from hitting the ground. A photo of the moment went viral on social media.UNC’s University Board of Trustees last week approved Roberts as Chapel Hill’s 13th chancellor despite the criticism he drew for calling in campus police to respond to protests and the encampment in May.EMORY UNIVERSITY POLICE ARREST CONVICTED FELON WHO CROSSED STATE LINES TO JOIN ANTI-ISRAEL PROTESTS”There is no higher calling than supporting our mission every single day,” Roberts said after being named chancellor, according to a press release. “To me, this University stands — above all else — for the ideal of public service, for helping the people of this state and all those who are touched by this place to achieve their greatest potential. As chancellor, I promise to be guided by that principle as we work together to carry North Carolina into the future.”SJP’s Chapel Hill arm and the Southern Student Action Coalition, along with other progressive student groups, called Lee an “authoritarian” and a “general” after he was named chancellor.

[tienramadan]

Dozens reportedly arrested as police clear George Washington University encampment

Hundreds of Washington DC police, some deploying pepper spray, cleared a pro-Palestinian encampment at George Washington University early on Wednesday, in the latest clash between law enforcement and protesting students to sweep the US.

The GW Hatchet student paper reported that at least a dozen people had been arrested as the impromptu tent village was dismantled in University Yard. The Metropolitan police department said the arrests had been made for “assault of a police officer” and “unlawful entry”.

The George Washington confrontation follows the clearing of the protest encampment at the University of Chicago on Tuesday. A large police contingent was sent in to remove tents in the university’s Quad, after the school authorities said that negotiations with students had broken down.

Since campus protests first erupted three weeks ago at Columbia University in New York City and spread rapidly across the country, there have been at least 2,600 arrests on 50 campuses, according to the Associated Press.

At George Washington, tension rose on Tuesday night after protesters left the university encampment and marched to the home of the institution’s president, Ellen Granberg. The local TV station Fox 5 reported that they were chanting, “Granberg, Granberg, you can’t hide, you’re complicit in genocide.”

University authorities said in a statement following the removal of the encampment that the protest had “evolved into an unlawful activity, with participants in direct violation of multiple university policies and city regulations”. On Sunday, Granberg went further, claiming the protest had been taken over by outsiders and accusing the demonstrators of a raft of illegal and provocative acts.

“When protesters overrun barriers established to protect the community, vandalize a university statue and flag, surround and intimidate GW students with antisemitic images and hateful rhetoric, chase people out of a public yard based on their perceived beliefs, and ignore, degrade, and push GW police officers and university maintenance staff, the protest ceases to be peaceful or productive,” Granberg said.

Student protesters have called her account of events “deeply misleading” and countered that Granberg had repeatedly refused to meet with them and discuss their demands. They include disclosure by the university of all its investments and endowments, and divestment from academic partnerships in Israel.

One question looming over the volatile events at George Washington was why the DC police took so long to remove the encampment following days of requests by the university authorities to do so. On Friday the police chief and mayor of DC ordered police officers who had been assembling to dismantle the tents to stand down, saying they were worried about being seen to act against peaceful protesters, the Washington Post reported.

The mayor, Muriel Bowser, and the police chief, Pamela Smith, were set to answer questions from US Congress members on Wednesday about why they failed to respond to the university’s request to clear the campus until now.

[janekim]

Jane Kim’s March 5, 2024 San Francisco Voter Guide

It’s hard to believe that I drafted my first voter guide in November 2004. Twenty years and countless endorsements later, here we go again! I am only providing additional insight for contested races.  If you’re looking for another great voter guide, check out my fave SF League of Pissed Off Voters.  I also appreciated the non-partisan analysis provided by San Francisco Public Press.  

US Senate: Barbara Lee

From becoming the first black cheerleader in her high school after fighting to desegregate her squad to casting the sole vote in Congress against authorizing the war in Afghanistan in 2001 (history has validated her), Barbara Lee has been fearless and principled.  A Nobel Peace Prize nominee, Lee is the only US Senate candidate who has called for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza. As the first state to send two women to the US Senate, I would be disappointed to forward two men.  We have two incredibly smart and courageous women candidates running– Congresswomen Barbara Lee and Katie Porter. This March, I’m voting Barbie for US Senate!

US Congress: Nancy Pelosi

State Assembly: Matt Haney, AD 17 and David Lee, AD 19

David has been an active voice and organizer in San Francisco’s Chinese American community since he started the Chinese American Voter Education Project 20 years ago registering thousands of API voters.  David is an earnest and sincere neighborhood advocate. While he may not be a nerdy wonk, I know he will fight for tenants, small businesses, and neighborhood safety issues.  He promises to be a champion to raise the statewide minimum wage and as a community college educator, fight to expand tuition-free community college tuition statewide.

Judges: Michael Begert and Patrick Thompson

Endorsed by all 48 SF Superior Court judges, San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco Democratic Party and the League of Pissed Off Voters (an unusual alliance indeed), this race has become a blatant political stunt. Unable to blame the District Attorney for all of San Francisco's woes, the right has shifted their attack to appointed judges vetted by an extensive and rigorous process led by the state. Appointed by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Governor Gavin Newsom respectively, they are hardly radicals but demonstrably qualified.     

San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee: Labor and Working Families Slate and ME!

This super down ballot race used to attract an endless list of candidates and ZERO dollars.  This year, a few people are pouring $1.1M to defeat our slate which includes educators, a nurse, plumber, elevator mechanic, healthcare worker, youth activists, union organizers, and even an attorney/drag queen. 

My amazing slate mates are busting their quads, volunteering countless hours to walk hilly precincts, canvass farmers markets to win VOLUNTEER positions on the San Francisco Democratic Party.  Most of the year, committee members register voters and participate in phone banking efforts to flip red seats blue, not only in California but across the nation. We just want a corporate-free Democratic Party in our city. And we love San Francisco.

Don’t worry, you’ll always hear from people who have millions to spend to influence elections- do they need the Democratic Party too? 

Here is our slate in the order we are listed on the ballot!

Proposition A: $300M Affordable Housing Bond: YES, YES, YES

Endorsed by the Mayor, the entire Board of Supervisors and literally everyone else who endorses anything (minus the SF Republican Party), we need this revenue source to continue to build and preserve affordable and middle income housing in San Francisco.

Proposition B: Police Officer Staffing Levels Conditioned on Future Tax Funding: No

This is not a terrible measure– it raises minimum police staffing levels if the city raises new revenue. However, I believe the Mayor and Board of Supervisors should set police staffing numbers, not the voters. 

Proposition C: Real Estate Transfer Tax Break for Developers: No

Prop C provides tax breaks for downtown office developers who sell their building after converting it to market rate housing. I would have supported this largely symbolic gesture– symbolic because very few office buildings can convert to housing due to high costs and structural limitations. HOWEVER, this measure dangerously authorizes the Board of Supervisors to reverse prior victories in real estate transfer taxes that fund essential initiatives like FREE CITY COLLEGE and street tree maintenance (yes the very measure I authored in 2016) and affordable housing.

Side note–prior to 2016, San Francisco homeowners briefly had to shoulder the burden of street tree maintenance, which was both substantial and perplexing. This measure jeopardizes this revenue.

Proposition E: Blank Check on Police Surveillance and Car Chases: No, No, No

This one is all over the place and a perfect example of why I do not believe in legislating via the ballot box.  SF Chronicle calls it “a fistful of dubious public safety ideas at the wall in hope one sticks.” 

Proposition E is a package of policy changes that would allow the San Francisco Police Department to engage in more high-speed chases, install security cameras in public spaces (currently approved by a civilian oversight body) and test surveillance technology (ie. drones and facial recognition) on the public without oversight. It would also allow police to file fewer reports on use of force against members of the public.

There is one good idea— we should reduce how much time police officers spend on administrative paperwork so cops are on the streets instead of behind desks but there is no teeth to make this happen. And I am open to cops utilizing technological advances in their work- should cops have drones to follow active pursuits?  Maybe, but I don’t want voters to write this blank check.  This job belongs to the people we elect– the Mayor and Board of Supervisors who can study recommendations made by our SFPD Chief and the civilian oversight commission, evaluate studies and weigh public comment.

But there are some terrible ideas such as expanding police chases on congested San Francisco streets. I witnessed the devastating consequences when my best friend was struck by a fleeing vehicle two years ago. The perpetrator got away (but eventually arrested months later) but my friend continues to endure life-altering injuries. While no blame falls on the SFPD officer, the pursuit inflicted irreversible harm without achieving its intended outcome. 

It’s opposed by the ACLU, Electronic Frontier Foundation, San Francisco Bar Association and League of Women Voters. 

Proposition F: Drug Screenings for Welfare Recipients: Just say NO

During the “War on Drugs” of the 80’s and 90’s, we targeted poor people for drug usage and guess what? The policy failed to decrease usage and only pushed our most vulnerable neighbors away from assistance.  Reverting to this Republican strategy, endorsed by the Trump administration and poorly implemented in red states like Alabama and Mississippi, is mind boggling. The estimated annual cost of this program ranges from $500,000 to $1.4 million, partially offset by discontinuing payments to our poorest residents who refuse testing.

Meanwhile, San Francisco has a waiting list of people who actually want treatment. 

Let’s look at states who have enacted this– very few applicants get tested and even less come back positive. The most expensive drug testing program was Missouri. Missouri spent a whopping $336,297 in public funds to test 108 individuals out of 32,774 applicants. 11 came back positive. 

Elected leaders want to appear like they are doing something about the devastating fentanyl crisis (precipitated by billionaire pharmaceutical conglomerates like Purdue/Sacker family), but THIS IS NOT IT.  Even the San Francisco Chronicle, hardly a bastion for progressive politics, says No on F.

Prop G: 8th Grade Algebra: YES

I fully support offering Algebra in the 8th grade. Frankly I support offering Algebra at any grade students wish to enroll. But this is yet again another symbolic resolution (do you see a pattern?) which is now moot as the Board of Education voted this month to re-offer 8th grade algebra. 

If you made it this far, thank you for reading and more importantly, thank you for voting. Agree or disagree, I appreciate you including my perspective in your decision making.  

Most importantly, if you are voting by mail, please vote by March 4.  Thousands of ballots go uncounted because people put them in the mailbox on March 5 without checking the final pick up time– these ballots are postmarked March 6 and are therefore invalid.

[thxnews]

Blinken's Remarks at SCSP’s Global Emerging Tech Summit

Exact transcript from the Speech

SECRETARY BLINKEN:  Hello, everyone, and thank you for the opportunity to join the Special Competitive Studies Project’s Global Emerging Tech Summit. Two years ago, I spoke at the National Security Commission on AI Summit about the critical role that diplomacy can play in shaping the terms of our technological future.  The United States has made clear our intention to compete for our vision of that future – one in which emerging technologies are developed and deployed in ways that deliver for our people, that protect our interests, that uphold our values. Since then, even in two short years, the technological landscape has transformed.  Today, generative AI is now fully part of our lives, and has entered the bloodstream of our public debate.  Other critical and foundational technologies, from quantum to synthetic biology to 6G, are rapidly advancing, and in some cases converging, to increase the potential for even further game-changing breakthroughs. And as emerging technologies stand poised to revolutionize the production of knowledge, rewire our economies, rearrange the building blocks of life itself, they’re also challenging the global competitive landscape. The United States must play a pivotal role in determining how these technologies are developed and how they’re used for years and decades to come. The State Department is leading diplomatic efforts to do exactly that so that we can lead the world into this new era of technology safely, securely, and with trust. Broadly, our tech diplomacy has five interconnected lines of effort. First, we’re advancing our vision for the technological future.  We believe technology can and must be used to put countries on the path to prosperity, solve shared global challenges, and build a better tomorrow for all.  To build support for that vision, we’re working with likeminded partners to demonstrate to the world how our approach tangibly benefits them and how it contrasts with the repressive vision of other states. Second, we’re shaping the rules of the road.  We’re working with developed and developing countries alike to promote our principles for using and governing emerging technologies. In AI, that includes the approaches contained in the Blueprint for an AI Bill of Rights, and the voluntary commitments from leading AI companies recently released by the White House.  We’re also building a broad-based international consensus around a Political Declaration on Responsible Military Use of AI and Autonomy. We’re advocating for these approaches not because they’re ours, but because they are technically rigorous, advance human rights and democratic values, and will help usher in benefits for all. Third, we’re promoting trusted digital infrastructure.  We want countries to continue to adopt digital infrastructure – wireless networks, cloud, undersea cables – that are secure, reliable, and interoperable, and that allow for greater protection against human rights abuse, privacy violations, and threats to national security and global stability.  We’re partnering with the U.S. private sector – and that of our allies – to preserve and strengthen our positions where we possess technological advantages. Fourth, we’re rewiring tech ecosystems, including supply chains.  We’re working with other states – including through coalitions and initiatives like the Quad and the U.S.-EU Trade and Technology Council – to align our industrial policies in a way that guards against global disruptions to critical technologies.  Private companies and capital are also key to these efforts. Fifth, we’re applying a “small yard, high fence” approach to sensitive technologies.  We’ll continue working with our partners to build a shared understanding of the threats from these technologies falling into the hands of human rights abusers or being used to advance the military capabilities of strategic competitors.  We’ll take all necessary steps to prevent U.S. technologies being used in ways that will harm our people, our interests, or our values. These goals are as ambitious as they are important, and they depend on a modern and strong State Department that’s ready and empowered to meet the opportunities and challenges of this moment. That’s why, over the last two years, we’ve elevated and strengthened our cyber, digital, and tech diplomacy.  We established the Bureau of Cyberspace and Digital Policy and the Office of the Envoy for Critical and Emerging Technology to focus and direct our diplomatic efforts.  We’re recruiting, training, promoting, and working to retain more tech-proficient professionals across the department. But we can’t do this work alone.  We need partners like the Special Competitive Studies Project to help advance our nation’s tech leadership.  Just as the Rockefeller Special Studies Project of the 1950s, led by Dr. Kissinger, convened leading minds to shape our strategic approach to the early post-war period, SCSP is helping the U.S. Government sharpen our thinking, clarify our national purpose, and compete over the long term. As the original Special Studies Project found, “A nation which does not shape events through its own sense of purpose eventually will be engulfed in events shaped by others.” Together, we have the ability to bring about a tech future that’s inclusive, rights-affirming, secure, and prosperous.  If we’re successful, we will strengthen our nation’s position as the center of global innovation, boost our resilience and that of our partners, ensure our competitiveness for years to come, and demonstrate the ability of democracies to deliver in this new technological era. Thanks for your remarkable work and for your partnership.  And thanks for the opportunity to speak with you today.   Sources: THX News & US Department of State. Read the full article

[emiratesviisa]

12 hidden gems for families in Abu Dhabi

If you're seeking family-friendly attractions in Abu Dhabi, you're in for a treat. The bustling capital of the UAE offers a wide range of family-friendly outdoor, cultural, and recreational opportunities in addition to its large malls, fast vehicles, and opulent resorts.

There are numerous kid-friendly attractions, including world-famous museums, spectacular mosques, desert safaris, and stunning mangroves. We've compiled a list of 12 hidden treasures in Abu Dhabi that will delight everyone from families to single travelers to groups of friends after getting an emirates visa for Pakistan citizens. 

1. Qasr Al Hosn

The core of Emirati history and culture is still present in Qasr Al Hosn. The Watchtower, built in 1760, is the oldest building still remaining in Abu Dhabi, along with the Inner Fort (1795) and the Outer Palace (1939-45). Young children who enjoy drawing can do so here, and creative ones will enjoy the photogenic scenes. All ages will be delighted by this wonderful national archive.

Visit the House of Artisans, where traditional Emirati arts and crafts are created, before leaving. Here, you can take advantage of the chance to experiment with a variety of antiquated methods. And don't forget to check out the fascinating Cultural Foundation! After you will apply emirates visa for Pakistan nationals

2. Heritage Village

A fantastic method to learn about the manner of life that formerly prevailed in the UAE is to visit Heritage Village. A souk, mosque, dhows, and a typical fort that was originally erected to fend off seaborne attackers are all present in this rebuilt settlement. The barasti (traditional palm-leaf homes), the ox-drawn well, and the falaj (an old irrigation system) in Al Ain, Abu Dhabi's beautiful city, will captivate children. Here, artisans also display their skills in the creation of pottery, textiles, and glass. You might even have the chance to participate!

3. Abu Dhabi Children's Library

A visit to the Abu Dhabi Children's Library is a wonderful opportunity to combine entertainment and education. The library, which is located in the heart of Abu Dhabi, was designed with inspiration from the varied UAE landscapes. Everyone—from young children to teenagers—can choose to relax and read their favorite books on plush fake sand dunes or discover new books on Book Mountain. This beautiful location is brimming with literature appropriate for all age groups and offers a tonne of entertaining activities for a fun day out.

4. Bait Mohammed Bin Khalifa

The historic Bait Mohammed Bin Khalifa was magnificently restored as a public gathering place following an exhaustive conservation program. A thorough exploration of the home's history and its environs from more than 60 years ago is available at the building, which is part of the UNESCO World Heritage Site of Al Ain.

5. KidZania

Speaking to children about the real world is one thing, but demonstrating to them how it operates is a fascinating issue. The best way to do that is probably to visit Kidzania Abu Dhabi. This lively, interactive mini-city is one of the most unusual locations for kids in Abu Dhabi. It is intended for children ages 3 and up and features everything from gas stations to fast food restaurants and even crime scenarios. This is a location that you must cross off the schedule because it combines enjoyment and role-playing all in one. Even kidZania, their own money, exists!

6. Desert Safari

The world's largest continuous sand mound, the Empty Quarter, can be traveled through at great speed for a once-in-a-lifetime event. Start off with an exhilarating dune run across the wide slopes. Spend the day exploring the desert on a quad bike, sandboard, or camel, take in the magnificent desert sunset and spend the evening in a typical Bedouin camp eating deliciously grilled Arabic food. The evening's entertainment also includes henna for the guests and belly dancing performances. For day tours and overnight excursions, Desert Rose Bedouin Desert Camp offers return transportation from your hotel.

7. Bounce

Fun is guaranteed for the whole family or for gatherings of friends at Bounce Abu Dhabi. You'll work up a sweat at this indoor trampoline park's assortment of activities and arenas. While the ballers flock to Slam Dunk and Dodgeball, freestyle jumpers can pounce their way into the Free-Jump Arena. Then there is Performance, where jumpers can hone their techniques, and the Big Bag, for the daring jumpers. Try the wall runner at The Wall or the obstacle course at X-Park if you want to go rough. Try fast sliding, quickly dropping, and ziplining as a last resort.

8. Al Ain Zoo

Al Ain Zoo visitation is a must whilst in Abu Dhabi. The park, which is home to over 4,000 animals, offers a variety of entertaining experiences, including penguin feeding, a lemur display, a parrot show, a reptile encounter, horseback riding, camel rides, a birds-of-prey performance, and much more. Visit the Sheikh Zayed Desert Learning Center to discover how the UAE has worked to protect its priceless natural resources.

For a memorable hour-long trip across 217 hectares of land at the foot of the magnificent Jebel Hafit mountain, reserve a spot on an Al Ain Safari excursion. Your safari guides will make sure you see as many animals as possible, including lions, white rhinos, zebras, giraffes, and other species, and they will share their ecological expertise and conservation efforts with you.

9. Jubail Mangroves

The ultimate avian, marine, and mangrove refuge, Jubail Mangrove Park is Abu Dhabi's first self-contained educational, natural, and leisure destination. The best place to learn about biodiversity and the significance of mangrove habitats from an ecological standpoint is here. You can see flamingos, herons, fish, foxes, and other wildlife as you stroll down the length of the boardwalk. It's the perfect place to think, or just relax and take pictures.

10. Sir Bani Yas Island

Sir Bani Yas Island, one of the eight islands that make up the desert archipelago of Al Dhafra, has everything you could possibly want for a fun-filled day. You may kayak, sail, snorkel, dive, or participate in other water activities in the pristine waters of the wildlife reserve at the Desert Islands Watersports Centre. You can even take a leisurely sunset cruise.

For a spectacular tour of Arabian Wildlife Park, board a 4x4 safari with knowledgeable rangers. Around 17,000 wild creatures, including Arabian oryx, gazelles, giraffes, hyenas, and cheetahs, live in the reserve. Remember to swing by the Sir Bani Yas Stables to observe their cutting-edge riding facilities before you leave.

11. Mina Markets

The Mina Zayed Port markets are something you shouldn't miss. The Mina Zayed Fish Souq offers a variety of recently caught seafood. Even better, you can purchase and consume the deliciously prepared grilled seafood right away. Visit the Al Mina Fruit and Vegetable Souk for greener fare and admire the vibrant products from around the globe, such as Indian mangoes and Sri Lankan coconuts. Don't forget to try dates, the iconic fruit of the Middle East, starting with the well-known Medjool. You can also travel a short distance from the dock to the Carpet Souk where you can browse handwoven Turkish, Iranian, and Afghan rugs as well as those created by machines.

12. Mamsha Al Saadiyat

Mamsha Al Saadiyat is situated on the lovely Saadiyat Island, next to the Louvre Abu Dhabi, and is only a 20-minute drive from the heart of Abu Dhabi. On the island, there are many peaceful activities available, like yoga and pilates as well as beachside painting. After you've finished your introspection, explore the several restaurants by the promenade. There are many options available, from succulent steaks at The Steak Room to hipster burgers at Black Tap. There are also excellent coffee shops like Coffee Architecture where one can enjoy themselves after getting an emirates visa for Pakistan passport holders.

[edupunkn00b]

Do Androids Dream of Electric Jam? - Ch. 9: Impress Your Creators

Prev - Impress Your Creators - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

2122-12-07 : 10:00 UTC-8 

A crowd teemed across the University Quad as Logan watched from the roof of the old astronomy building. The perpetual mix of ash and water vapor in the lower atmosphere had rendered even the most powerful of their telescopes unusable at this elevation. So, thirty years ago, the University built a new observatory on Mount Rainier, rising temperatures having finally melted the last of the great glaciers at its peak. The old astronomy building was now a storage facility for decommissioned artifices awaiting reprogramming.

The Quad was wall-to-wall flesh and synthskin, crowded with the thousands gathered for the grand re-opening of the RUR Robotics Institute Plaza. Logan still couldn’t believe University administrators were moving forward with the event. 

“Captain, you cannot be serious!” Logan had interrupted the joint Catcher/SPD briefing before the festivities. In a misguided attempt to appear unconcerned with the growth of on-campus android rights sympathizers, The University had requested a minimal police force, all undercover, and they’d explicitly prohibited catchers from attending.

“Their own permit request acknowledged they’ll exceed safe capacity limits and after The Reckoning’s announcement of a planned action today, it’s as though we’ve sent them a personal invitation to attack civilians.” He looked around the room, scoffing at the blank stares that met his gaze. “If something were to happen, we wouldn’t even be equipped for a safe evacuation of the Quad.”

“Sit your ass down, Sanders. This is a briefing, not a debate. You—”

“But Sir,” Logan turned the honorific into a slur and the captain’s skin reddened above his overly-tight collar. “We are discussing public safety. What does it matter if the University chooses to—”

The captain pointed to the door, his voice a barely controlled growl. “In my office. Now.” 

“Dammit, Sanders!” After following Logan to the dusty Captain’s office, his boss slammed the flimsy door behind him and poked a stubby, caffeine-stained finger at his chest, stopping just short of actually touching him. “It’s real simple. We keep the tin cans from causing mayhem. You find them if any slip through the cracks. I don’t tell you how to do your job, so you stay the fuck out of my business and don’t come storming in here to tell me how to do mine? Got it?”

Logan silently glared at the hand an inch from his chest until the captain lowered it, then straightened his visor before meeting the larger man’s eyes. “Perhaps if you were better at your job, I would not need to be as skilled at mine.” Then he’d left without closing the door behind him.

After the joint attack last month at Pike Place and the Quad, Logan was on high alert, even if the Seattle PD refused to acknowledge the risk. He scanned the crowd with his visor. There was a blend of humans and artifices in the crowd, which gave him some hope that The Reckoning might refrain from violent action today. Historically, they’ve seemed to avoid explosives and other munitions in populated areas, particularly when other artifices were in attendance. If they were lucky, the bots would stick to some sort of non-violent demonstration for the cameras.

And if the bots weren’t lucky, they’d start something that Logan would have to finish.

About two hours into the speeches, the eastern edge of the gathering grew restless. There was a rolling murmur of activity, and attendees began to move and push at the rest of the crowd. A twenty-foot long banner painted in blood red iridescent paint was unfurled over that section, proclaiming loudly, ‘Break the Silence - Putamus Ergo Sumus.’ We Think Therefore We Are. Logan’s memory flashed back to Duke’s and its confounding Model C bartender with the smirk, but he shoved the distraction aside and refocused on the crowd.

For a moment, it looked like there might be a rush toward the exits, but after a moment, the crowd seemed to settle, passing around green and blue bits of cloth. It was difficult to see clearly from his vantage point, but it appeared the protestors were distributing leaflets and mask covers. And that people in the crowd were putting them on over their respirators in solidarity.

Logan’s scanner told him there was now a mixture of artifices and humans donned in The Reckoning’s signature green shirts, hats, and masks, all emblazoned with their signature indigo blue fist. His heart rate went up and he breathed deeply to try to calm the icy brush of panic in his gut. If their plan included a physical action, this would make it difficult for those without scanners to only target the artifices in the movement. It felt designed to ensure human casualties.

There was a loud cry from the other end of the Quad and the crowd began to push back the other way, toward The Reckoning. Several dozen men and women in non-descript black hoodies and synth armor trousers began to kettle the crowd, cordoning off the west side of the gathering and pushing the bodies closer together toward the east. Whenever they encountered someone in the Reckoning’s green and blue colors, they collared them, artifice or not, and shoved them through the boundary of the invisible fence. One of them turned, facing the Astronomy building and Logan spotted the golden glint of a badge.

Cops.

“Dispatch, what the fuck is going on at the Quad?” he barked into his comm as he ran toward the roof’s exit. Maybe if he got down there, he could talk some sense into them, find the captain, anything. “The officers on the University Quad are arresting humans.”

The chirpy little tones of the Internal Affairs vocaloid cooed in Logan’s ear. “The Seattle Police Department works to foster and promote Public trust, Courtesy, and Respect while our officers support and adhere to the principles of sacred life. Artifice husbandry is a top priority for the Department.  All SPD personnel understand that this is a shared responsibility and is critical in—“ With another hissed curse, Logan ended the call. If the SPD had already turned on the Public Relations recording, they knew god damned well what was going on down here.

Logan locked and holstered his gun, then ran the rest of the way downstairs and burst through the flimsy lock on the main door. In the two hundred and fifteen seconds it took to get from the roof of the observatory to the ground floor, the Quad had erupted into chaos. The sound system had been cut and several of the University organizers stood on the stage, shouting instructions to the crowd and waving their arms in conflicting directions. Without functioning microphones, their words were swallowed up by the frightened cries and angry shouts of the crowd. Human attendees and their companion or domestic bots ran from the center of the event, finding their own ways out. Sometimes the artifices shielded their human owners, but other times, Logan saw through his scanner, it was the other way around. The eastern edge was consumed with a chanting—and growing—contingent of Reckoning-clad artifices while the plain clothes cops encroached from the west.

An overly loud announcement stuttered from a police drone as it flew over the crowd. Logan could only make out two words: ‘Final warning.’

Faster than he could process, there was a wave of screams from the crowd and his scanner was knocked from his face when a fleeing family plowed into him, one partner ushering the other ahead. Without his scanner, Logan couldn’t tell which was the artifice and which was the human.

Suddenly Logan’s head filled with static and he fell to his knees. A concussion bomb? His bones vibrated under his skin, the weak light from the setting sun burned his eyes, and every sound made him want to rip his ears off just so he wouldn’t have to hear it anymore. He tried to cover them, but his hands and his skin sang with pain. Logan struggled to his feet and managed to pick up his visor, the plastene and synth steel frame damaged and jagged, cutting into his fingers. He shoved the device into his jacket, brushing his injured hand against what must be cracked ribs.

Logan felt himself slipping into shock. He didn’t think he’d fallen hard enough to have broken bones, but there was no other logical explanation for the severity of his pain. He looked out at the rapid dispersing crowd. The cops were now spraying a noxious orange gas that, even in the small amounts that seeped through a dent in his respirator, burned Logan’s lungs and eyes. He reached out to help someone who’d tripped as they ran and he cried out at the unexpected pain from his injured hands. They shouted a piercing thanks and Logan flinched back. It must have been an artifice with a damaged vocal control system, screaming instead of talking.

The crowd was now nearly completely dispersed and Logan stood still for a moment, buffeting by the light and sound. Usually the affects of  concussion bombs lasted only a few minutes, but the fucking cops must be brewing up new semi-legal anti-riot tools. He wasn’t going to do anyone any good injured like this.

Shaking, Logan stumbled away and let his feet guide him home.

[akitokihojo]

Stay

Woah, two posts in one day? Yeah... yeeeeeeah. I don't usually post so late, but as I sat here staring at this document, I realized that if I don't post it now, I never will.

Okay, look, this story is extremely personal for me and I want to give a warning about that. If you know me or have been following me for a while, you may have noticed I tend to keep to myself, I'm quiet, and I'm private. But, as most humans, I have things I battle, too. I've been through things, too.

My coping mechanisms are humor and "add to cart." My therapy is writing. I decided to give this a shot. I've gotten personal with older fics before, but it's vague and I sort of lightly mix it in there like food seasonings. "Everything's Okay" and "A Moment" are examples of which. This story is largely based off something real. The emotion behind it is real. Very real.

Now, I will admit, the comfort added isn't. It's something I've realized over the past couple of years that I both crave and deserve. It's something that would help me incredibly, and maybe it's unrealistic, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I want it. So bad. So, I wrote. I made it happen.

I decided to project everything into my comfort otp, so if either Kagome or Inuyasha seem out of character, it's because they are. Sorry about that. It was difficult to keep their characteristics in tact. Particularly, Inuyasha. He's unbelievably soft here.

This is sloppy. I did my best to edit, but like I said, the longer I sat on it, the less likely it was bound to be posted. Just consider it unfiltered emotions if it seems messy, because that's what it's supposed to be.

Some disclaimers that I'll open up about: Yes, all of those negative things have been said to me by a past ex. What Kagome tells Inuyasha is very real for me. Also, replace "abusive father" with "abusive mother" and you've got it. :) I just didn't feel comfortable disrespecting mama higurashi with such slander, so since Kagome's father isn't in the picture, it was simpler.

Okay, I'm done. Thank you. If you read this, thank you. Again.

---

“Come on, Kagome. Show me.” Inuyasha encouraged supportively.

Kagome sighed, adjusting the shorts a bit better around her waist as she stared at herself in the mirror on the inside of the door. She’d comfortably tucked herself away in the walk-in closet of her boyfriend’s bedroom, preferring the space she had and the length of the mirror as opposed to the bathroom that only showed her up to her hips unless she bounced to her tippy toes.

“Houston, we have a problem.” She spoke.

“Define ‘problem.’” Inuyasha proposed. “Because, I realized a long time ago that you and I have two totally different definitions of the word.”

No, this was a definite problem. Unfortunately, it seemed she’d purchased clothing from one of the retailers that didn’t quite grasp that some woman had thicker asses and thighs. The shorts fit, but they hugged her in places she needed a little more room in. God forbid, she sit down. Then, they’d fit her like underwear.

The band was comfortable along her hips, but felt a little better if she pulled it up a smidge toward her waist. But then the underside of her booty cheeks popped out, and that for sure wasn’t something she could sport in public. Or, she could. She just wouldn’t be comfortable doing so. It wasn’t her style. She preferred a hint of more modesty. Not to mention, the shorts were very tight against her lady bits, and that was definitely something she didn’t want her clothing riding up on.

“Babe.”

“Curse these thighs.”

“Oh, see what I mean?” He chimed from the other side of the door. “That’s the exact opposite of a problem.”

“It’s a problem if the shorts don’t fit, Inuyasha.”

“Show me.”

“They don’t fit.”

“Okay, we’ll return them. But, show me first.”

“Why do you want to see them if they don’t fit?” She laughed lightly.

“Why wouldn’t I? Do I have to spell this out to you every time?” Inuyasha asked, making it obvious that he was feigning irritation.

“It doesn’t hurt.”

“Alright, first of all, I know you’re ridiculously critical of yourself. I have a more objective point of view, and therefore that makes my opinion the only valid one here.”

“Hey -“

“I’m not finished. Second, I love seeing you in tight clothing. That’s a given. You don’t have to keep it, and you should always wear things you’re comfortable in, but at least do the right thing and let me see first. I think I deserve that much. Third, and most importantly, ass and thighs. Your ass and thighs.” Inuyasha made a chef’s kiss motion even though she couldn’t see, losing himself in the thought of some of his favorite assets of hers. “You know damn well how much I love them. So, please - please - come out and show me, Kagome.”

Behind the door, she fought her smile, losing so quickly it was as if she hardly stood a chance against it. It wasn’t that she didn’t like her body, but he was right. There were some imperfections that had her self-conscious at times, and he knew without saying when they started dating over five months ago that her thighs were one of them. And, she could tell the half demon she called hers genuinely adored everything she deemed unworthy.

Giving a minor adjustment to make sure the area between her thighs had enough room to breathe, she sighed out any apprehension and opened the door. Inuyasha sat on the edge of the bed waiting, golden eyes instantly on her. He skimmed over the way she’d tucked her shirt into the underside of her bra to keep it out of the way, gazed at her tummy for a small moment, then drifted his sights down to the shorts hugging her snuggly.

He barely blinked, his expression practically blanking, and Kagome’s cheeks went red hot.

“Inuyasha?”

“Shh. I’m concentrating.”

Kagome laughed, turning away from him bashfully.

“Shit, no! I wasn’t ready for that!” He cried, pressing the heels of his hands into his temples as if he were in a panic. Her ass. It looked phenomenal. He wasn’t mentally prepared to see just how plump it looked in those bottoms, and it sent his mind reeling.

“What!?” She gasped, her hands instinctually falling to cover her butt as she spun back to face the way she’d originally been.

“Oh my god.” Inuyasha mewled. “Are you kidding me, Kagome!? Where’s the problem!? Where’s the mother fucking problem!? Because, I don’t see it!”

It was thought to be impossible, but she felt her face flush even hotter. So hot, she wanted to hide it, knowing full and well her embarrassment was visible and prominent. She kind of tucked her head down slightly, hoping the dim lighting in his room would be her ally and shade her blush while she presented her issues with the garment of clothing.

“Well, it’s tight on my thighs. See, when I do this -“ She explained as she lifted her leg slightly as if she was going to take a step forward. The bottom hem of her shorts tightened against her quad, squeezing around the plush before riding up an inch. “It’s not very comfortable. I like a bit of a looser fit. And, then my butt. It’s suffocating. I’m scared one wrong move will make these shorts rip.”

“God forbid.”

“Inuyasha, seriously.” She deadpanned.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m listening. Anything else?” He apologized with a grin, conceding.

“Yes. I can’t sit in these.”

“Why not?”

“Too tight.”

“So, you literally can’t sit?”

“No, I mean I’m sure I can. It’s just not a good idea.”

“Because, they’ll rip?”

“That. Or, they’ll turn into chonies.”

“What?”

“Underwear.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you got such versatile clothing. I could have sworn we were nowhere near the lingerie section.”

Kagome laughed through her groan, tossing her head back in minor exasperation due to her boyfriend’s sarcasm. It was going to be hard to describe, and she was sure if she attempted such he’d only throw more jokes her way, so she shut her mouth and decidedly took to demonstrating her vexation. She crossed the floor, hoped for the best, and plopped into a seat right next to Inuyasha. Her thighs fluffed out and her shorts effectively rode all the way up, giving her legs the attention they apparently demanded.

Inuyasha’s eyes were glued to her thighs and the way her clothing wrinkled along her anatomy. He’d had to press his lips into a tight line to prevent their proud and joyful crinkle, but it was so desperately difficult to fend off. Kagome was quick to notice and her brows pinched together, a small pout forming.

“You tricked me.” She murmured. “You wanted me to sit down, didn’t you?”

“I’ll admit, it was a lot easier than I expected it would be.” He said, gently stroking the pads of his fingers over the softness of her legs. “Again, I find it important to remind you that you and I clearly have very different definitions of what a problem is. This… this is not a problem. Not at all.”

“Well, see, I sort of wanted to be able to wear these outside of your apartment.” Kagome giggled, inadvertently melting into his touch. It was so light, it almost tickled, but she felt his warmth radiating from his hand, she felt his attraction, she felt his good-natured and honest feelings toward her body, and it was nothing short of what she both wanted and needed right now.

“I know, I know. We’ll return them and get a larger pair. Still, not a problem.” He grinned, planting his whole palm on her thigh and sliding it inward, shoving it to sit in the heat between. He leaned over and kissed her temple.

“Don’t even think about it.” Kagome hummed, leaning into his tender touch.

“Hm?”

“You’re about to lay down on my thighs, aren’t you?”

“What? I can’t?” The half demon pouted with legitimate shock on his brow.

“The moment you’re down, you’re down. You know damn well you’re not getting up if I let you, and I want to get out of these shorts.”

“But, Kagome -“

“Boy, if you knew exactly how these are constricting certain areas, you’d understand.” She laughed, playfully shoving his hand off of her as she stood. Before walking toward the closet where she’d left her skirt, she turned to face her boyfriend, bending at the waist and pushing his bangs from his forehead to plant a kiss against his skin. “I should get going soon, anyway. It’s getting late.”

“Don’t go, then.” He said, tone gruff as his amber eyes met hers. “Stay with me.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d asked her to stay the night, impromptu. Far from it. Every time, though, caused something in her chest to stir, something in her stomach to flutter, something in her bloodstream to effervesce in both a wonderful and unsettling way - the unsettling part deriding from a different emotion she’d recently noticed planting its roots somewhere inside of her. Inuyasha grabbed her hand, running his thumb over the tops of her fingers while his expression shifted to one of seriousness. No jokes, no funny business, no sarcasm was present any longer.

“I don’t feel like I got all the time I wanted with you. Since we were out and about most of the day, I feel like I had to share parts of you with the world, so now that it’s just you and I, I’m not quite ready to let you go. Will you stay?”

Internally, Kagome was telling herself to keep it together. It was such a small gesture, such a tiny request, but it was always the little things he said to her, like this, the mannerisms he displayed when he was sincere, the way his amber eyes met hers when he waited for her answer that had her feeling unstable. Like, she could cry. Like, she was more afraid than she was thirty seconds ago, or an hour ago, or when she saw his smile earlier this afternoon when they met up, or last night, or when she crashed and burned upon realizing what, exactly, it was she felt for Inuyasha a month ago. She swallowed, forcing herself to show none of that as she made a small smile appear on her face.

“Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?”

A grin sprouted on Inuyasha’s lips as he kissed the hand he held, standing to cross over to his dresser.

“You want your favorite, or a different one?” He asked, ignoring the twitch his own sensitive ear gave as the wood scraped open.

“Whichever. Can I take a shower?”

“Of course.” He said in a manner that suggested she knew she didn’t have to ask by now. He was well-acquainted with her routine and how she preferred showers before bed as opposed to first thing in the morning. That, and they’d recently gotten her some extra toiletries to store in his bathroom for times she stayed over. He was equipped for her company, and sooner or later, Kagome was bound to learn that she was more than welcome to treat his place as her own. Her scent, her voice, her contagious laughter were all he needed, and if his apartment was filled with it, Inuyasha couldn’t think of anything that would make him happier.

Kagome took the large band tee the hanyou offered with a grateful smile and snagged some boxers from the top drawer he’d just opened with a playful, little scrunch of her nose before ambling over to the closet to pick up her skirt and reach for a towel on the shelf.

Why? Why was her heart thumping uncontrollably? She was so happy. So, so, so content. But, yet a crippling sensation was crawling its way up her esophagus to make home in her throat; to grow large, and dense, and sit there to make it impossible to swallow any longer. Ever since that night a month ago, when she’d hung up the phone after a goodnight call with Inuyasha - who was traveling at the time for work, was beyond tired, spoke to her in that husky tone she was utterly weak for, and who’d called out of mere courtesy to let her know he’d made it to his destination safely - she hadn’t been feeling secure. Not because of him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, despite their little, bickering spats and his tendency to get a bit jealous over guys she spoke to, he was doing everything right. He wasn’t the one giving her reason to fear. It was her.

It was what she’d been through.

It was something she was so terrified he would turn around and say to her, that it practically debilitated her rational mind.

But, still, the feeling it stemmed from grew and expanded, the tree roots burying themselves in the soil of her heart, and Kagome was positive by now, after thirty days had passed with no decrease but, instead, the exact opposite, that there was no convincing herself that it wasn’t there. Because, every time she saw him smile, every time he held her hand, every time he expressed himself to her, it banged on her walls like an innocent prisoner demanding freedom.

When she was sure her emotions weren’t superficial, when she was positive there was no changing anything on her end, Kagome had to really look within herself to figure out how to maneuver about things. Did she openly tell him? Was there a right time to say these things? She even debated never saying anything at all, and for a good while, she was settled on that option. It wasn’t the right thing to do, though. It was like she was allowing her past, her previous broken heart, to dictate how she expressed affection toward others, and the potential ‘others’ who hadn’t done her wrong didn’t deserve that. Kagome had always been the type to wear her rather large and vulnerable heart on her sleeve. The cage she held it in now, it wasn’t locked. She wanted to put it back where it belonged, but she was so scared, it made her nauseous. The cage door was opened, held cracked from the inside, the weary organ protecting itself behind a barrier that just needed some encouragement to come out from.

Again, she’d wondered to herself countless times: was there a right moment to say something like this? Was there a procedure she needed to follow? She’d said it first last time, and nothing ended in her favor, so maybe she shouldn’t be the one to initiate this topic? Maybe it applied too much pressure? Should she just keep it to herself behind lock and key? Was he going to be receptive? Was it going to scare him away? Please, don’t scare him away. Please, please don’t leave.

And, countless times, she ended up in tears from the crushing weight of it. Kagome knew the truth. She didn’t have to consult anyone to know what the right thing to do was. It didn’t matter how many nights she stared at the ceiling obsessing over right and wrong, this or that, pros and cons, yes and no’s, because in the back of her mind, the answer was right there in big, bold letters. She was just trying to dance around it. It was so stressful. Something that was depicted as a happy and liberating occurrence was reduced to horrifying and anxiety-inducing for her.

The fact of the matter was, no one should have the power to change her heart. More so, Kagome shouldn’t give anyone that power. The way she felt so deeply was, in fact, a good thing. It was. It was. It was a fight just to get herself to understand that again, feeling like she was convincing herself of something she no longer believed, but she knew the only way she would, once more, feel that freedom was to open up. Stop hiding.

The thought was heavy. It didn’t sit comfortably with her. There were certain things Kagome was okay talking about, and there were certain things Kagome would rather eat up, swallow, and take to the grave. But, that was vulnerability, and she understood that if anyone deserved that part of you, it was your partner. Inuyasha was her partner. He was patient. He listened to her about things that made her uneasy, he took into account how she could be both a social butterfly sometimes and introverted during others, how when she was overwhelmed she had a tendency to shut down, how physical touch was her love language, and he even went so far as to ask her how she would prefer he respond to certain predicaments if she were to ever get overstimulated with him around.

Inuyasha had proved time and time again that he not only wanted to experience every side of her, but that he deserved it. He deserved it.

It jostled her to the core as she considered telling him now, her stomach churning, her heart pounding erratically, her bottom lip quivering as she’d learned to expect rejection. It was why she struggled initiating anything. It was why she had trouble saying the words to anyone but herself, “I want.” It was a learned reaction to her past trauma, but Inuyasha, the half dog demon she called hers, the silver-haired man who always did everything he could to make her feel safe while with him, the person who treated her as special as he’d insisted she was, wasn’t the one who’d hurt her. So, she’d decided over a week ago, she was going to do it. She was going to do it and let him know. Best case scenario, it was always nice to hear you’re loved and he may end up appreciating her confession. Worst case, things were going to get awkward and tense and it may end their relationship for good.

Kagome wanted to be Kagome again. Not the person she was before she’d met her ex. Not exactly, at least. She still wanted the lessons she’d learned with him to be applied to who she was. They were valuable, and not everything she learned had her closing off. As an open-minded thinker, she realized that not every wound left a scar, so not everything that happened made her a victim. Some things are just incidents that taught her lessons to take into tomorrow. So, she wanted to return to Kagome, the bright girl who faced her fears, who wore her precious heart on her sleeve, her loved with everything she had no matter what, but who was just a few experiences wiser. But, no one could do that for her. No one could give her that push she needed. It all came from within.

Of course, so did fear. So did nausea. So did that anxious part of her brain that said, “Let’s do it tomorrow, instead. Or, the day after that.”

Kagome took a deep breath, trembling as it may have been, and looked over to her boyfriend. He’d just removed his shirt from over his head, his short, tousled, silver strands appearing slightly messier than before once he was free, and he glanced over his shoulder her way, most likely feeling her eyes on him.

“Inuyasha,” She tried to come off as stable as possible, but there was an obvious waver in her tone that gave her trepidation away.

“Hm?” He hummed, the corners of his lips twitching downward before he dropped his shirt on the floor and faced her better.

“Can I - um…” It was impossible to hold her eyes steady on him, her deep, brown gaze falling to the floor every time she picked them up to look at him. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay. I’m all yours.”

Kagome took another breath, willing her body to stop fidgeting. It was Inuyasha. It was just Inuyasha. As soon as she realized there was no stilling her fingers beneath the clothes and towel she held, or the way she bit hard into the inside of her bottom lip, she felt the best course of action was to simply carry on; wavering eye contact, trembling fingers, quivering lips, and all.

“Let me first preface this with: please don’t say anything. Just let me get it out there. I don’t expect anything from you in return, there’s no pressure whatsoever, and I would rather you not say anything at all. Like, at all. Okay?”

Truthfully, Inuyasha was freaked out. Had something happened? Was she about to admit to something bad? Kagome looked about ready to breakdown and cry, and the fact that she was asking for him to remain completely silent only told him she was afraid of judgement. Never had she asked him to stay quiet before. And, he hated how apprehensive his girlfriend looked right now. His instinct was to solve the problem, so what was he supposed to do here but agree to her terms?

“What’s going on, Kagome?”

“Please?”

“Alright. I won’t talk. Now, spill.”

She pinched the back of her wrist to stay grounded, to keep from crying. God, she was so pathetically nervous, and three times now, she’d almost convinced herself to back out and pretend it was a joke. That wouldn’t be right, though. She wanted to cry so bad and she hadn’t even said anything yet, so she pinched herself harder, her nails incidentally digging in. As soon as she felt a degree of control fall back into her grasps, Kagome leveled her gaze at him.

The words sat on her tongue, weighted with the shackles she’d placed there herself. A lump had formed and solidified in her throat, clinging for dear life and making everything so much harder than it needed to be. God, she was really shaking. Her breathing was becoming unsteady as if she’d already started crying and she could feel her expression crinkling into something terribly sad. She knew that was how she appeared only from the way Inuyasha’s lips parted, how his brows curved in worry, how he wanted to reach for her but seemed so confused that he could only stand there and wait.

Like a bandaid. Once the words were out, it wouldn’t be so bad anymore. She just had to get through it.

“Um - I - I - I am -“ The stammering was relentless, and out of sheer obstinance, Kagome shied away for one moment, took a short breath, huffed it out, then faced him again. “I’m in love with you.”

There was a slight arch to his brow, and his chin inched to the side minutely. Very slowly, Inuyasha’s lips sealed and his gaze hardened, falling to the ground. Hastily, Kagome followed her confession with disclaimers, irrevocably panicking.

“A-and, I don’t expect you to say it back! You don’t have to say a word about it! There’s no pressure at all, Inuyasha! I swear!” With each statement, he seemed to be growing more and more tense, and Kagome was terrified she was only making matters worse, but she blinked profusely so her tears didn’t have the chance to breach the brim of her lids. “I just wanted you to know. So, yeah. Now you know.” Her voice had fallen to a hitch just above a whisper at that point, admonished.

Inuyasha kept his promise. He didn’t speak. Kagome was stiff in her spot, not quite knowing what move to make next. She hadn’t thought this far ahead. It was hard to think beyond her admittance in the first place. It was too quiet, and she could hear the clock in the living room loudly ticking seconds by.

“Just nod or shake your head; do you still want me to stay?” She asked sheepishly.

Finally, Inuyasha’s glowing stare rose to hers again, and it frighteningly seemed to grow harder, more tense. She saw the rigid muscles of his jaw clench, and his chest rose with the very slow inhale he took through his nose. Steadily, the hanyou responded with a firm nod. In the next moment, he gestured for her to head down the hall to the bathroom with a notch of his chin, which she wasted no time in complying to. Kagome bit her lip, hard, shakily turned on her heel, and left Inuyasha alone in the room.

The second he heard the bathroom door lock and the shower turn on, Inuyasha dropped his seat on the bed, crumbling forward as he braced his forehead in his hands, elbows jabbing into his thighs. His chest was physically aching, his throat tight, and Inuyasha felt thoroughly crushed. He could literally see the fear in her eyes, the anxiety holding her by the neck. Why? Had he given her some reason to worry? Had he made it seem like that was a taboo topic?

It didn’t take long to rationalize. Logically, he knew it wasn’t him. It wasn’t personal. And, he knew that because he knew exactly how it felt to be afraid of unadulterated vulnerability. It felt like you were naked, exposed to the world, trusting someone with something so valuable and important when you weren’t even sure if you could trust yourself with something like that. It was hard. It was nerve wracking.

But, there was something deeper to it.

Why else would she insist he didn’t respond? It was clear as day. He knew that feeling. He’d been hurt before, too. They’d been together for almost half a year, he knew a good portion of her story, and she knew just as much about his. It was impossible to know it all quite yet, though. Five, six months may seem like a long time to some, but it’s honestly nothing in retrospect. They’re just scratching the surface. He knew the general aspects about her abusive father, he knew she had an emo phase in high school, he knew the superficial shit like her favorite colors, foods, drinks, what medications she needed to take and how often, he knew how she tasted, her tickle spots, where the heating pads were stashed in her apartment - because she had multiple for easy accessibility depending on what room she was in while she was down for the count on her period, and he knew she’d had her heart broken before. But, he didn’t know every little detail about certain things yet.

Inuyasha had had his heart broken before, as well. He knew that feeling. He knew how gruesome and tedious it was to start over, how awful the idea of opening up all over again was, how awkward and weary it felt to tiptoe around specific subjects until you felt comfortable enough describing them, so on and so forth. He knew. Just, apparently, not as well as Kagome did. He was willing to guess that her heart wasn’t just broken. It was trampled on.

His most recent relationship was up and down. He and his ex were never on the same page. He fell quickly but his feelings were unrequited. Then, later on, she began to show more affection, but he’d become closed off by the time that came. Nevertheless, neither of them spoke those words. They never truly opened up about what they felt, how they felt, or why they felt anything, especially romantically. Up until now, Inuyasha had never heard the words, “I’m in love with you.”

Up until recently, Inuyasha had never felt the urge to say, “I’m in love with you.”

No.

That’s wrong.

Sure, recent was a broad term, but it happened several months ago. Several months too soon, he’d deemed. Kagome was playing with his niece, teaching the six year-old how to use a toy compass she’d brought home from class, and congratulating her excitedly whenever Rin got something right. His niece wasn’t shy by any means. She was talkative, playful, bubbly, and bright. But, she had this thing about being touched. She didn’t like it. Only certain somebodies could hold her, hugs were off the table unless you were one of four people, high fives were a maybe, and yet he watched the little girl ask Kagome to watch a movie with her when she was done with the compass, cuddle up next to her on the couch, and fall asleep on her lap without persuasion.

That was it. Kagome respected Rin’s autonomy and boundaries, and Rin let her in by the third time they’d met.

And, Inuyasha fell. Hard.

Again, too soon. So, not saying it was easy. No big deal. After a while, it sort of began spilling out in his idiosyncrasies, in the way he touched her, worshipped her, in the way he craved the knowledge on how to properly care for her. In his terms, he was being painfully obvious. It was almost humiliating how obvious he was being.

It just looks like it wasn’t obvious enough. How could he have expected her to understand? It’s not like she was fluent in his body language or habits. At this point, if she needed it spelled out to her, he’d happily do so.

Because, despite her overwhelming and damn near crippling fear she’d just waded through, Kagome still told him the truth. Kagome courageously stood there, attempted to look him in the eyes, and told him she loved him, no matter how scared or nervous she appeared. If he needed to say it back in order for her to understand, he could return the gesture without hesitation.

First, though, he needed to comprehend what was going through that head of hers. He wasn’t going to jump to conclusions. This wasn’t the time to do so. What she was feeling, that look in her eyes, it stemmed from something deep, something that wasn’t quite healed. He needed, desperately needed, to know what happened. He’d promised to keep his mouth shut earlier, but he hadn’t promised how long he’d hold that. She may have meant about that topic entirely, but that was something he couldn’t and wouldn’t agree to. There was no way in hell he was going to let this slide. Eventually, they were going to have to discuss this.

Now was that time.

Inuyasha suddenly stood, filled with a rage that had surfaced as soon as she shakily asked him if he still wanted her to stay, feeling so irate that he could only clench his fists and pace the floor. There was a good fucking chance this originated with her ex. Maybe her father, but his gut told him otherwise. The things he knew about that relationship were vague. Kagome didn’t like to fixate on it, which was reasonable for anyone who’d moved on, and they never really found a good time to open up about nitty gritty details pertaining to failed relationships; they were more focused on one another and their individual lives. He was fuming. What the fuck had that motherfucker done?

He knew they broke up over two years ago. He knew he’d dumped her just before their anniversary. He knew their relationship wasn’t entirely horrible, but much like he and his own ex-girlfriend, they were rarely on the same page. That’s about it, though. He’d heard a thing or two about how she’d realized way after they’d broken up just how toxic their relationship actually was - one of those late night, shower-thought epiphanies - but she never much elaborated. Hell, she talked about it all so rarely, Inuyasha had even forgotten the fucker’s name. He was her ex-boyfriend so that naturally deemed him irrelevant, because Inuyasha was her current boyfriend and that was all that fucking mattered. But, now he wished he remembered because it would make it at least a little easier to track the bitch ass down and punch his lights out.

She’d opened the door, and he needed to know what was on the other side of it. Inuyasha not only craved, but found it a foundational necessity to understand what had her so anxious to tell him how she felt. First, he recognized he needed to calm down. He couldn’t approach this with heightened emotion because it would cause Kagome to feel insecure and unsafe, which he would never allow her to feel around him.

That was hard for him to do, though. To swallow his frustration, push it aside. He felt things passionately, much like Kagome did. For her, for the light he always looked to for a sense of peace and felicity, for the woman he respected and cherished, he would do it. He could do it.

It took a moment, but Inuyasha left his room and headed to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water to sip on and an extra one for his girlfriend. The shower had stopped running moments ago, and the hairdryer was now blowing. She was biding time. Kagome, more often than not, let her hair air dry. This was killing him. The fact that she was so afraid, so nervous, the fact that she felt anything but contentment in the face of pure and unbridled emotion. Inuyasha just wanted to burst through the bathroom door and tell her to stop, demand she look him in the eyes and say it again and watch how he would never turn away from her. What could he have possibly said that had her more content with silence?

Content wasn’t what she’d felt at all though, was it? Even after he’d kept his mouth shut, Kagome was still trembling, still incredibly uncomfortable.

He was going to the bottom of this.

But, something in his heart wrenched. Overall, he just hoped with everything he had that she didn’t regret telling him.

There was careful deliberation on where he should wait for her. He’d debated standing outside the bathroom door to guide her back with him, but that would apply a lot of pressure straight from a safe zone. There was always the option to sit on the couch until she emerged, but still, he was worried she’d feel like she was under a spotlight. No matter what, Inuyasha was going to be taking her back into his bedroom. It was cozy and comfortable, and he just wanted to fucking hold her. The best course of action was to let Kagome come to him. When she was ready. No matter how much patience wasn’t his virtue. So, he ambled back through the doorway with both water bottles in hand, placing them on the nightstand as he got himself into more comfortable clothing. He’d never finished changing after dropping his shirt on the floor. He grabbed his grey sweats off the end of the bed and shoved his legs into them after removing his jeans, then fished a black tank top out of his dresser, easily and quickly pulling it over his head.

It wasn’t a bad thing that she’d told him. Kagome should be proud of herself. Over and over again, she’d repeated that in her head, but she couldn’t stop herself from feeling like she’d done something wrong. Maybe she’d put him on the spot and made him uncomfortable. She should have at least given him the space to tell her he wasn’t ready to say it back if that was how he felt. That she would have completely and wholeheartedly understood without fault.

Now she was stuck in an unknown area, her head was foggy, her fingers kept trembling, and her eyes were puffy from crying like a baby in the shower. The goal was to tell him how she felt. It was a step in the right direction. A step toward who she truly was behind the protective walls. From this point on, depending on how Inuyasha was feeling, it might be best to pretend nothing happened. Sweep it under the rug.

Everything was so conflicting, so turbulent, and Kagome could bring herself to do nothing but stare at the bathroom doorknob. Her hair was dry, she was dressed in her borrowed outfit, smelling purely of Inuyasha, and even though he still wanted her to stay, she couldn’t believe anything other than the possibility that she’d ruined everything.

What would happen once she exited the bathroom? Would things be uncomfortable? Would he be laying down in bed, facing the wall away from her, silent? Would he ignore her? Would he say something she was terrified to hear right now? Or, was she trapped in her unhealthy thoughts? Was she preparing a response to something that wasn’t waiting for her outside that door? Was she not giving Inuyasha the opportunity to respond in his own, organic way, expecting all the responses she was trained to anticipate before?

With a deep breath, Kagome reached for the knob, twisting it to exit. The apartment was as quiet as it was when she locked herself inside, the clock in the living room ticking loudly as she slowly sauntered through. Lights were dim, but the bedroom, through the opened door, was inhabited. The lamps shaded the white walls in warm hues, and as she got closer she noticed a very soft hum of music playing through the bluetooth speakers he had set up in there, quiet but still melodic and comforting.

Though her heart was pounding and a jittery sensation within her chest was causing her to tread cautiously, she followed the path into his bedroom, spotting Inuyasha sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. He was quick to notice her presence, sitting up and glancing at her, and even though she faked a smile with a curious notch of her head, it was clear he saw right through her. How wouldn’t he? If he already didn’t know her so well, it was obvious she wouldn’t go from cripplingly apprehensive before her shower to sweet and happy immediately after.

Inuyasha noticed the pink in her cheeks, the stupidly cute but feigned upturn of her plush lips, the way her deep eyes bounced away from him before coming right back only to repeat the same motions. His Kagome. His sweet, hurting, beautiful Kagome.

With an arch of his brow, the hanyou wagged his finger at her, ushering her over to sit on his lap. She was hesitant at first. She knew what was coming, but still, despite her slight discomfort, he released a small, breathy chuckle so she knew he wasn’t upset with her.

“C’mere.” He requested softly, patting his thighs.

“What?” Kagome returned, unsure.

“I want you. C’mere.”

Slowly, she crossed the floor, accepting her boyfriend’s support as she straddled his lap and got comfortable. An uncontrollable pout formed on her face when he looked into her eyes, she felt it, and humiliation washed over her, causing her to hide her expression between his shoulder and neck.

Inuyasha was patient, making sure she was secure in her seat before his hands traveled over her. At first, he couldn’t help but hug her tight. In this moment, Kagome seemed so fragile and he could already feel her body shaking against him. She knew he was going to talk whether she liked it or not.

Still, he gave her a little more time, relaxing against him, her chest melting on his, her arms wrapped around his shoulders but accepting his full support as his hands rubbed over her back soothingly.

“You want to tell me what happened back there?” He asked, opening back up the topic.

“Did I do it wrong?” Kagome spoke, her voice small.

“I’m not worried about right and wrong here, baby. Can you look at me for a second?”

Carefully, Kagome leaned back, giving him the attention he requested. His large, warm hands cradled her jaw, his thumbs caressing her cheeks, his eye contact firm.

“I never want you to be afraid to tell me something, okay? Especially, how you feel.”

Immediately, Kagome began to crumble. Her cheeks grew hot and her lips twitched downward sadly. Tears too quickly threatened her eyes, and Kagome was hasty to hide her face in his shoulder again.

“I need you to talk to me, Kagome. What’s going on?” He asked, returning to rubbing her back. In the silence as he waited, he picked up the back hem of the large shirt she wore, pushing his hands beneath so he could gently massage her skin. The heat from her, the softness, he craved it right now. “Was it something I did?”

Kagome fervently shook her head against him.

“I’m never going to understand unless you tell me, baby. That wasn’t the normal amount of nervousness you’d expect when saying something like that. So, what’s going on?”

“I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to say it back if you weren’t ready.” Kagome sniffled, hugging him tighter.

“Okay, I get that. And, what else?”

“That’s all.”

“You can’t lie to me.”

“Can we just pretend nothing happened and go back to our happy date night?” She whined playfully.

“Unfortunately, no.” Inuyasha chuckled, catching her small attempt at laughing off her problems. “I can’t do that while you’re crying on me, Kagome.”

“I’m not crying.” She sniffled again.

“Oh? You’re not?”

“Nope. These are just allergies.”

“And, what are you suddenly allergic to?”

“Feelings.” Kagome giggled, though she began crying harder, only because her boyfriend was being sweet and obviously getting through to her. She both hated and loved it at the same time.

Inuyasha kissed her shoulder, holding her a little tighter as his hand slipped higher up her bare back. The curve from her little slouch against him had her spine popping out slightly, and ever so softly, Inuyasha traced his fingers over the bones.

“What were you so afraid of me saying?” He all but whispered.

Mustering up some courage, Kagome leaned back, using one hand to meagerly clear her messy face of tears. She took a few unsteady breaths before speaking, her eyes falling to the hem of the collar of his black top, and she allowed her fingers to distractingly drag along it.

“I didn’t want you to tell me you loved me if you weren’t ready or felt pressured, because I don’t want you to take it back later on.”

The hanyou’s brows furrowed inquisitively and he was unable to bite back the reaction of his head cocking to the side in bemusement.

“What?” He almost hissed. “Why would I do that?”

Kagome didn’t answer, continuing to play with the shirt he wore.

“Kagome, why are you afraid of that happening? Don’t tell me -“ Inuyasha had to tense his breath in his lungs to refrain from letting his upset get the better of him. “Did your ex…?”

She responded with the littlest nod, worrying her bottom lip incessantly. “Multiple times.”

“Multiple times?” He echoed on an exhale, his expression widening. His hands were holding her hips, squeezing as comfortingly as possible, but Inuyasha was struck cold. Not only had someone shattered her, but someone managed to look at this woman on top of him and take back their love on more than one occasion? This girl? How? He’d only had her for half a year and he was scared shitless of losing her, so it didn’t make any fucking sense that someone would just toss her aside like that as if she meant nothing.

Slowly, Kagome curled forward, tucking herself against his shoulder. It was like a safety net. Inuyasha was so warm, he held her perfectly every time she felt emotional and vulnerable. As much as she didn’t want to talk about this, she knew this topic would come up eventually. It was a staple of her by now, something she was clearly conditioned to expect after years of receiving it, and even before she fell in love with the man stroking her back beneath her shirt, she knew this issue would arise. It wasn’t going to be easy or quick to work through, that was a given, and she knew he was ultimately going to need to know some of the toxic occurrences of her previous relationship; things that were done to her and things she’d done, as well. She’d considered it was going to be something he’d want clarity on as soon as she admitted her feelings. It was fair. Being on the other end of things, he deserved to know what she’d been through and why she inadvertently responded the way she had.

It was just hard. It was hard to think about and hard to talk about.

But, if she could power through her fear of admitting her feelings, then she could give him everything else, too. It was another step in the right direction, no matter how unsteady the pathway seemed.

“I told him I loved him first, and he responded by telling me I shouldn’t. He was my first love, so I didn’t really know how to react or what to say to that. It’s not like I could just take it back or agree or something.”

“Right.” Inuyasha almost hummed, listening intently to her explanation as he kissed her shoulder here and there.

“Almost a year later, he told me he was falling in love with me. A few months after that, he took it back and said he wasn’t so sure anymore since we’d been arguing.”

The half demon couldn’t control his reaction to hold Kagome a little tighter. It was like an attempt to protect her from things he knew he couldn’t begin to protect her from. If he could control it, no one would ever speak to her like that. No one would ever hurt her this way. No one would ever be able to apply that pressure to her shoulders, because how could she not feel obligated to be perfect and compliant in order to feel valued and cherished?

“Then, I don’t know how long later, he told me he loved me again. It stayed consistent for a while. He’d tell me periodically, particularly when I did nice things for him or if I said it first. Then, again, he ended up taking it back. I had felt it that time and asked him if he still loved me. He said, ‘I don’t know.’ Followed by,” Kagome’s fingers clutched Inuyasha’s shirt, exhaling tremblingly, though she had been doing so well at keeping it together. “‘Maybe soon I’ll love you again, though.’ So, I idiotically stayed. I held onto that hope. I waited and waited until we got into this stupid fight and he broke up with me the next day. He made sure to emphasize that he didn’t love me. But, said he might in the future, we’d just need to stay friends. ‘You never know what the future stores.’”

God, Inuyasha wanted to kill him.

“There was one night after we finally found separate places, we were packing, getting ready to move out of our shared apartment, and we were talking about old things. He told me he never loved me. And, I just never understood why things went on for so long just because he wasn’t sure. Why would you say it if you didn’t? Why couldn’t he have let me go sooner? What good was I if he didn’t even want me there? I wasn’t strong enough to leave, but he was because he literally hung that over my head for most of the time we were together, threatening me with leaving if I didn’t do something right. I have so many things to work through because of him, so many trauma responses to correct, trust issues that I’m projecting unto you, and he walked away like nothing ever happened.” Kagome cried, once again shaking against Inuyasha.

All he could do was kiss her, hush her soothingly, hold her tight, rub the hot flesh of her back. Let her cry. He understood now. He got it. It was why she struggled to take compliments the first time around. It was why she second-guessed sweet gestures. It was why she assumed everything was sarcastic and insincere. It was why she thought her love for him was problematic. She didn’t want him to say anything because she was scared of the words, “I love you.” They meant nothing to some people, they were used as tools, and so easily, they could be erased. Sad thing was, Inuyasha was sure that even if he said the words right here and now, she wouldn’t even believe him.

“Of course, he’s obviously not the sole reason for why I am the way that I am. Can’t give him credit for everything.” Kagome gave a wet giggle, again laughing through her problems. Her coping mechanisms were all over the place, but it was still cute.

Inuyasha sighed defeatedly, laughing lightly as he rested his head on her shoulder.

“So,” He breathed. “You didn’t want me to say anything because you figured nothing was better than something I could hurt you with.”

Her silence was as good as confirmation.

Inuyasha pulled her in firmer, an arm supporting her low back as he picked her up, rotated their bodies, crawled a little further on the bed, and laid her beneath him on the mattress. He had a knee between her legs, but rested on her side, an elbow propping him up while he used his free hand to gently swipe her tears away.

“It was more because I didn’t want you to feel pressured.” Kagome finally spoke after moments of peaceful silence, taking the opportunity he provided to calm down before continuing. “But, then I started to panic. I felt like this is supposed to be a good thing, right? Not everyone is going to respond the way he does, right? I just wanted to tell you so bad. It’s supposed to be a good thing, but I got trapped in my head thinking history would only repeat itself.”

“Baby, are you sure you were ready to tell me?” Inuyasha inquired, dragging his finger along her temple to clean the tears that followed gravity.

She nodded, her bottom lip quivering. “It’s bad enough that I’m afraid of love. I didn’t want to allow myself to sink and be afraid to love, too. That’s not me. I feel like I’d only be letting him stick around in my mind if I did that, but I just want to love you. I do.” Kagome cried, eyes falling away from him. “I wanted you to know, and I’ve been holding onto it long enough.”

Inuyasha leaned his head down, kissing her shoulder. It wasn’t enough for him. He needed to feel her skin beneath his lips so he pulled the baggy collar away so he could leave a tender and invisible mark on her clavicle.

“How long?” The hanyou breathed.

“A month or so.” She matched his soft tone, trying to steady her lungs and bring herself back to a calm. “The night you went on your business trip.”

“Europe?”

“Mhm.”

“Not too bad. It was the groggy voice, huh?”

Though her eyes were still wet and the hair at the sides of her temples were soaked, her cheeks flushed, Kagome glanced back over to him with a hint of surprise. “How’d you know?”

“Because, I knew I’d get a response from you. Always do.” He smirked, planting sweet kisses against her cheek, and moving up to kiss tears away.

“You know I like that?”

“It’s my job to read you like a book, baby. I take my work very seriously. You’re subtle, but I see things I do that you like. You’ve got little mannerisms that give you away.”

“Like what?”

He hummed a decline. “I’m not giving that secret to you. Let me have this. You know what I will tell you?”

“Hm?”

“Do you promise to hear me out? No interrupting, okay? Just listen to me.”

There was an increase in the tension that climbed through her muscles, and her pout turned weary. Inuyasha took a moment to continue kissing her temple, her cheekbone, his palm finding its way beneath her shirt to softly stroke her tummy. When she relaxed a little, he leaned back to look at her.

“Remember that day Rin took a nap with you? I stayed up that night. Couldn’t sleep. I had you here next to me, and I just couldn’t stop listening to the sound of your breathing. I was scared shitless, but the crazy fucking part was, even though you weren’t awake, having you right here helped keep me calm. It was counterintuitive. I was both scared of you and at peace with you. I wanted you to wake up and do that thing where you tickle the small of my back with your fingers because, god, nothing feels better than that. It was like you held all of me in the palm of your hands, and you could easily drop it in the trash at any given moment. But, it’s you. I knew you wouldn’t. That was my night, though. That was the moment I realized I was in love with you.”

Kagome hardened slightly, and he could literally hear how hard her heart was thumping within her chest. She didn’t smile, didn’t frown, didn’t make much of any expression really, aside from her brows giving a minor, inward twitch.

“That was quite a few months ago. Nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten deeper. I’m so worried one day you’ll walk out those doors and never come back. I don’t want to lose you just as badly as you don’t want to lose me.” He was the one to hide his face this time, tucking it within her neck as he threaded his arms around her back, holding her close. He hadn’t expected her to clutch him in return, but she did. Immediately. Kagome supported him through his own moment of vulnerability, but more importantly, he felt it was a way to communicate her reception. “I don’t care how many times I have to say it until you begin to believe me. I don’t care what I have to do to make you feel secure in our relationship. I’ll do it all. You know I don’t say shit unless I mean it.”

“I believe you.” Kagome whispered, a small hiccup at the tale end that jostled her chest. “That’s the scary part.”

He nodded again, pulling away to gently press his forehead to hers for a moment.

“I get it.” Inuyasha breathed before leaning back to look her in the eyes. “But, one of these days you’ll understand that no matter what happens, I won’t take a damn thing back. You’ll see that I don’t want it back. I feel like my heart’s safer with you, anyway.”

“Stop it.” She pouted, but he knew that was her way of conceding. Even as she cried a little harder and tucked herself into his chest so he couldn’t see it. “You’re being too sweet. Be mean to me again.”

Inuyasha chuckled, raising his hand, “As you wish.” He said, smacking it down against her butt.

The little yelp she released was so sad but adorable as she flinched away from the sting, but it inadvertently brought her to cuddle closer to him. The hanyou laughed, brushing his fingers through her hair and massaging her scalp.

“Can you do something for me?” He asked.

“Hm?” She grumbled into his chest.

“Tell me again. This time look right at me. Don’t look away, don’t fidget, just trust me. That was my first time hearing it. I gotta hear it straight.”

She hadn’t realized Inuyasha hadn’t heard the words before. She didn’t know that. This was big for him too, if not bigger. Was she his first love? Was she the first person he’d ever said that to? Kagome felt a warmth course through her, and even though she was slightly nervous, she didn’t feel unsteady. Not while he held her. Not while his amber eyes were above her, watching her with an emotion she’d never before seen. She came out of hiding with a level of ease she hadn’t felt a moment ago, secure, one of his hands lightly trailing her side beneath her borrowed shirt.

Her fingers had a mind of their own, reaching for his cheek as she softly caressed it, her thumb tenderly rubbing over his bottom lip. “I love you, Inuyasha.”

It was like a sigh of relief left his lungs, and the corners of his mouth inched upward. His eyes were hooded with affection, and he leaned down to kiss her, lingering on her soft lips.

“Your turn.” Kagome whispered as he pulled away, her brown eyes shifting from his eyes to his lips.

It felt incredible that she wanted to hear it now. And, though he knew everything was going to take time until she felt comfortable with the idea that he wouldn’t take a damn thing back, he knew it would take time to work through her trust issues little-by-little, he didn’t mind. Because, she was his and he was hers, and he was all too happy to hold her hand and walk by her side while they figured everything out. He couldn’t fix this for her. He hated that he couldn’t take her pain away. That’s not how it worked, though. He knew this. She knew this. Inuyasha was her partner through everything, and he’d be the best fucking partner he could be.

He grinned with their foreheads pressed together, his hand on her waist gripping tighter as he couldn’t help but chuckle from sheer bliss. “God, I’m so fucking in love with you.”

Kagome smiled, pushing Inuyasha over to roll on top, once more straddling his hips as she gazed down at him. She wanted to burn this image of him in her mind. She never wanted to forget that soft look in his eyes, or the way he reached up and tenderly wiped away any remaining tears that stained her face. He meant it. She believed him. And, she hoped with everything inside of her that he never took it away from her.

She curled down, cuddling into her chest and Inuyasha immediately turned his head to kiss her forehead. He held her close, gently stroking her hair back and basking in her incredibly comforting heat. He loved her. He loved her so goddamn much. His Kagome.

“What do you need right now, baby?”

“Nothing.” She hummed.

“What do you want, then.”

He knew she struggled with that one, but whenever he asked, she did her best to communicate properly. “Touch my butt again.”

Inuyasha laughed huskily, his hands gliding down her back to take a firm and wonderful hold on her ass.

“And, pizza.”

“Oh, see, I’m a step ahead of you on that one. Ordered a couple before you got out of the shower.”

Kagome gave a short half whine - half squeal of happiness as she cuddled in closer and kissed his neck. “Thank you.”

[astrolocherry]

Aries, Cancer, Leo, and Scorpio - Passion, Play & Slay

Aries, Cancer, Leo, and Scorpio are the signs of passion. Every sign expresses passion as an element of human nature, but none demonstrate it better than this quad. Their exhibition of passion is indirectly referred to as, ‘intense’, ‘relentless,’ ‘controlling,’ or ‘obsessed’. They have the potential to direct same high force of passionate energy into multiple pursuits across a lifetime, but typically only one at a time. That single focus tends to consume them completely. The lifeblood and complete haul of inner resources are invested into this goal, practice, niche, subject, cause, or whatever. And we are speaking of four signs with very different dynamics, with Aries we may be referring to personal, interpersonal, and developmental challenges, emotional, familial, and relationship based in Cancer, the public and private pursuits of Leo that plunge them into states of darkness before creation, and the evolutionary, seclusive, and internalised activity in Scorpio. If you obstruct the path, or fail to show the respect they deem it deserves, their strong reactions erupt from the mix of passion, emotion, and love. They are all heart. It’s why we can get themes of extremism with these signs, and some insight into their pattern of immoderation - extreme, excessive, obsessive, or nothing at all. The style is immersive and hypnotised, it makes them unstoppable and volatile. 

Whatever you do, don’t question it, but even if you do, they see no reason to explain themselves or be answerable to anyone. They have their reasons, and these may be wrapped in life experiences, memories, lessons, and conditions they’d prefer leave unopened. These people are fighters, it’s possible for them to not only survive tough conditions but rise from these depths in a new and shining light. They are sculpted to break conditions, cycles, and expectations in order to bloom something new for generations to come. And they inspire others to do the same, they spark the raw, carnal, and divine fiery passion in everyone. Cherry

[sceptilemasterr]

Defenders of the Flame (TE Rewrite) Act 3, Scene 3 - "That Distance Between Us"

Title: Defenders of the Flame (A CIU Screenplay)

Main Pairings: Shreya x F!MC, Beckett x F!Atlas

Other Pairings: N/A

Genre: Full Rewrite (The Elementalists, Book 1)

Rating: PG-13 for violence, blood, swearing, alcohol, and sexuality

Summary: Fiora struggles with feelings of inadequacy after a Defenders training session.

Previous Scene: Back in Session

Masterlist: Link

EXT. PCSA SECONDARY QUAD - TRAINING GROUND - NIGHT

Late one night, the Defenders of the Flame have all assembled on Penderghast’s secondary quad, which they have reserved for the night. Lucia and Arvan watch over the new inductees as they practice their Combat Forms... or, in Fiora’s case, still practice Stoicheal Gather.

FIORA (to herself): I... no... this is... wait...

Fiora concentrates, but to no avail as she fails to materialize anything more than a few small wisps of energy. Meanwhile, the others continue working on their own tasks.

ARVAN: Everyone, focus! Hold tight to your foundation!

Several successive thunderclaps are heard as Shreya and the third-year inductees all pull off a perfect Stoicheal Gather. Shreya stands charged with energy, her skin glowing a bright orange.

LUCIA: Well done! Now for the Form itself... just like we’ve practiced!

From his stance with his arms crossed in front of him, Zannagan uncrosses his arms and sweeps them over his head and out to his sides... but aside from a momentary flare of fire around his body, nothing happens. A second later, he shudders and stretches his arms out above his head, launching a gigantic fireball into the sky!

LUCIA: Okay, Zannagan, try again--

Before she can say anything more, Shreya performs a similar maneuver. This time, however, the stoicheal energy illuminating her skin starts to glow brighter, brighter... just as she uncrosses her arms, it illuminates until it lights up the entire room, blinding everyone. And then:

FIORA (shocked): What the hell?!

LUCIA (ecstatic): You did it, Shreya!

ARVAN: Nice job!

A massive dragon, its scales the color of Shreya’s hair, floats in the skies above the training ground, flapping its wings to stay afloat. The dragon looks down at the others curiously, then starts to panic. Arvan makes a few quick hand gestures, then speaks, his voice amplified.

ARVAN: Shreya! Well done! Now, just like we practiced: focus and revert to your human self!

For a few seconds, nothing happens.

FIORA (terrified): She... she’s not stuck like that, is she?

LUCIA: Nah. Give her a second--

The dragon abruptly turns into a puff of smoke, then vanishes. Everyone starts coughing from the cloud of smoke now surrounding them.

FIORA (coughing): Ack! ...Shreya?

The smoke clears, and then:

SHREYA: Fiora! Holy Source, did you see that?! I did it! I pulled off a Combat Form! I--

Shreya lifts Fiora and spins her around, and Fiora kisses her, cutting off her words. After a moment (and an irritated cough from Arvan), Shreya seems to remember where she is, and abruptly sets Fiora down and takes a step back.

SHREYA: Mon dieu! That power... I had no idea Combat Form was that... that...

LUCIA: ...Intense? Yeah. It’s a rush.

ZANNAGAN: Nice job!

RHIIA: Impressive. Was it hard to come back to normal?

SHREYA: Not particularly. I kept my foundation point in mind at all times, and when I heard Arvan’s voice, I just thought about turning back to human. And it worked!

MICHAE: That was super cool! Do all Attuned turn into dragons like that, or does it depend on the person?

ARVAN: Combat Form varies by Attunement. Fire-Atts all get huge dragons. Air-Atts get gryphons the size of buildings, Water-Atts get giant sea serpents... etc.

MICHAE: Whoa. You might’ve mentioned the “dragon” part of Combat Form before now!

ARVAN (shrugs): Some things are more fun to find out for yourself. Besides, I love seeing new inductees’ reaction to it once they pull it off!

RHIIA: Shreya, that was amazing. You’ll have to teach us how to do it next!

SHREYA: I’d be happy to!

As Shreya rejoins the other inductees, Fiora looks in her direction wistfully. A hint of jealousy darkens her expression for a brief moment, then she stares down at her hands and slumps to her knees. The others continue practicing...

* * *

Some time later, practice is winding down to a close. The other inductees are all out of breath; none of them save Shreya have managed to perform a Combat Form. Arvan and Lucia exchange a glance, then start walking back toward the main quad.

LUCIA: Nicely done. Especially you, Shreya! Let’s call it a night for now. We’ll meet again next week, same time and place, okay?

ARVAN: Don’t forget to keep practicing your Gathers in the meantime! Just avoid working on Combat Form unsupervised. The last thing anyone wants is a feral dragon flying around Penderghast.

He laughs and continues walking. The third-years all retrieve their belongings and follow Arvan and Lucia; soon, Shreya and Fiora are alone on the secondary quad. Shreya approaches Fiora and takes a seat on the grass next to her.

SHREYA: ...Everything okay?

FIORA: Yes... no. Maybe. I don’t know.

SHREYA: What’s wrong? If it’s about the kiss, I do apologize; I’d quite honestly forgotten we were in public. I never meant to embarrass you--

FIORA: It’s not that! It’s just... (sighs) I’m really happy for you, Shreya. So glad you’re doing great with the Combat Form. Seriously! It was a little shocking seeing you turn into a dragon out of nowhere, but also... really cool.

SHREYA: Ah. I think I understand. It’s because you’re struggling with this, while I’ve already managed to achieve a Combat Form today?

FIORA: It’s not just that, Shreya. Forget Combat Form. I still can’t even pull off Stoicheal Gather.

She demonstrates that fact by getting into her stance. After a minute or so of trying, a single, pathetic wisp of fire stoichi flows lazily around her head, before falling to the floor and fizzling out uselessly. Fiora opens her eyes and shakes her head, gesturing around her.

FIORA: See? I don’t get it. I’m supposed to be this fancy, special Light-Att or whatever... and I can’t even manage that.

Shreya snaps her fingers as a sudden realization occurs to her.

SHREYA: Aha! So that’s what this has all been about. I’ve noticed that distance between us lately. Then... it’s not to do with me?

FIORA (shocked): What? No, of course not! Shreya, kissing you and getting to be your girlfriend was the best birthday gift I’ve ever gotten! You’re honestly about the only good thing in my life right now.

SHREYA: Don’t let Atlas hear you say that.

Fiora laughs weakly.

FIORA: Shreya...

Her voice trails off, and the two of them look at each other in silence. Shreya takes Fiora’s hand and squeezes it tightly. After a brief moment, Fiora takes a deep breath and tells her:

FIORA: It’s the foundation point. I don't have one! All this time, I’ve just been going along with whoever was around: my friends back at Hartfeld, then here with the Pend Pals, then Atlas... and now I feel like I’m doing the same thing with you. Without someone to follow, I have no idea who I am!

Shreya smiles gently and pecks Fiora on the cheek.

SHREYA: I’d be lying if I told you I hadn’t noticed that tendency of yours. But to be quite honest, I think you’re underestimating yourself. Fiora, you are your own person. You simply need to see yourself the way I see you.

FIORA: You’re right. I know you are. It’s... easier said than done, though.

SHREYA: That’s perfectly alright. We’ll figure this problem out together. Okay?

FIORA: ...Okay.

SHREYA: Besides, you know the next step for the Defenders after Combat Form will be training for Light-Attunement. And that is certainly something where you will need to help me!

Fiora laughs and hugs Shreya tightly.

FIORA: I never even thought of that! You’re right... I’ll figure this out, and then I’ll help you with that one when it comes!

SHREYA: Exactly. Shreya and Fiora. We’re a team!

They exchange a heartfelt kiss under the moonlight... when suddenly:

ATLAS (coughs): Um. Hi...

FIORA: Oh! Atlas! We were just--uh--

SHREYA: ...Busy.

ATLAS: I can see that! But maybe don’t stay out this late without telling us? Especially with Raife’s shadow monsters liable to attack at any moment?

FIORA: Right. Sorry...

ATLAS: No worries. Just don’t forget: Dr. Swan’s still missing, and we have no idea what Raife’s been up to since he escaped the Between when the breach happened. We can’t be too careful.

SHREYA (blushing): Of course. Right.

ATLAS: ...If it’s any consolation, Fiora, Beckett’s having trouble with his Combat Form too.

FIORA: What--wait--how much of that conversation were you listening to?

ATLAS (shrugs): Enough of it. For the record, Shreya is not the “only” good part of your life right now. Just saying.

Atlas strides past them, toward the main campus. Fiora and Shreya exchange an awkward glance, then follow her back to Fletchly Hall...

_______________________

Notes: And at long last, we see a Combat Form! People who manipulate fire and can also turn into dragons... where have Choices fans seen THAT concept before?

Worldbuilding: It didn't get mentioned directly, but people going feral while in Combat Forms is, in this universe, where legends of dragons, gryphons, sea monsters, etc. came from among the Tuneless. Back in the day, feral Combat Forms were much more common.

_______________________

Next: The Approaching Storm

CIU Tag List: @brightpinkpeppercorn @endlesshero1122 @bbaba-yagaa @acidsugar0 @shaylan211 @griselda1121 @acanthisorbis @marmolady @choicesbabie

DotF/Elementalists Tag List:

[wargwhatisitgoodfor]

GRRM’S Much Ado About Mirrors - Political Marriages/Rivals and Famine in Season 8

Game of Thrones Season 8 Political/Love Quad is  Foreshadowed in The Winds of Winter  + Mirror of House Tyrell Aiding King’s Landing

Note: The picture in the upper-right corner is a recent shot of Lino Facioli, the actor who plays Robin Arryn in Game of Thrones. Lino is listed on HBO’s cast list for this season. This meta is purely speculation. 

PART ONE - Foreshadowing in The Winds of Winter

The released ‘Alayne’ chapter from The Winds of Winter focuses on an impending tourney that is bringing together the most important people in the region. Sweetrobin’s heir Ser Harrold Hardyng will be in attendance and has been recently betrothed to Sansa, who is disguised as Alayne to everyone other than Petyr Bealish.  While intuitively recognizing Harry’s true nature and possible agenda to seize power, Sweetrobin expresses his affection for and desire to marry Sansa/Alayne.  During this conversation, Sweetrobin abruptly shifts his focus from the rivalry and threat that he is facing (which is serious and imminent) to who he will have to marry (which is undetermined and won’t happen for many years). One cannot brush this off as a testament to Sweetrobin’s age and immaturity as he understands life’s impermanence after losing his father and mother and is discerning enough to correctly assess Hardyng.

Coincidentally, minor annotations easily shift the dynamics of who is betrothed/disguised and who is a political/romantic rival between Sansa and her male cousins from TWoW to GoT Season 8 as is described below:  

“He (she) wants my father’s castle (kingdom), that’s all, so he (she) pretends.” The boy (Jon) clutched the blanket (gloves?) to his pimply (scarred) chest. “I don’t want you to marry him, Alayne (I don’t want to marry her, Sansa). I am the Lord of the Eyrie (Warden of the North/last male heir to the Iron Throne/etc.), and I forbid it.” He sounded as if he were about to cry. “You should marry me instead. We could sleep in the same bed every night, and you could read me stories (Unlike Sweetrobin, Jon has already gone through puberty, so we can mentally insert another verb(s) besides ‘to read’).”

    ...“Sweetrobin (Jon), you must not say such things. You are the Lord of the Eyrie and Defender of the Vale (Warden of the North/heir to the Iron Throne/etc.), and you must wed a highborn lady (the Targaryen Queen) and father a son to sit in the High Hall of House Arryn (the Iron Throne) after you are gone.”

Robert wiped his nose (Jon flexed his sword hand/rubbed the back of his neck). “But I want — ” (“Is this what you want — ”)

    She put a finger to his lips. “I know what you want (I want/we want), but it cannot be. I am no fit wife (Targaryen Queen) for you. I am bastard born (Lady of Winterfell).”

    “I don’t care. I love you best of anyone. “

You are such a little fool.  “Your lords bannermen will care... and I should... be put to death (Sansa will be physically threatened AGAIN...).”

    “I wouldn’t let them hurt you!” Lord Robert (Jon) said. “If they try I will make them all fly (I will kill them myself!).” His hand began to tremble. (At this point in time, we don’t know how much book!Jon will have changed after his resurrection. His memories may be primarily affected, or there may be some physical manifestations from his death.)

    Alayne (Sansa) stroked his fingers (She has provided Jon with the support, validation, and motivation that he needs since their reunion, and Sansa quoting Ned at the end of season 7 indicates that she will continue to do so). “There, my Sweetrobin (Jon)... “You must have a proper wife, a trueborn maid of noble birth (a Targaryen Queen).”

    “No. I want to marry you, Alayne (Sansa).”

Once your lady mother (your lady mother and your lord father/my lord father’s contingencies plans were founded on it) intended that very thing...  “My lord is kind to say so.” Alayne (Sansa) smoothed his hair... He does have pretty hair (I love how cheeky GRRM can be at times!)… “...Before long, you will have forgotten me entirely.”

“I won’t!”

“You will. You must.” Her voice was firm, but gentle.

“The Lord of the Eyrie (Warden of the North/heir to the Iron Throne/etc.) can do as he likes. Can’t I still love you, even if I have to marry her? …” (The show is going to handle this differently from the books; the most logical route is for Jon to openly defer to Dæny in order to placate her whilst he offers to stay with Sansa and the rest of their family in Winterfell.  Regardless, outside forces will conspire against the Starks, especially the two secret lovers.)  

…“Is that what you would have from me? A bastard?” She pulled her fingers from his grasp. “Would you dishonor me that way?” (Sansa will not only have to make her feelings clear but will need to initiate a physical relationship with Jon. The show also is foreshadowing that Sansa will become pregnant before they are married or at least before they publicly announce their marriage.)

The boy (Jon) looked stricken. “No. I never meant — “ (“I’ve loved you my whole life.” I’m in the camp that Jon was in love with Sansa before they left Winterfell, and the show has actually set this up in a deliberate but discreet manner. My meta on Sansa’s dragonfly necklace being a gift from Jon explains this in greater detail.) Alayne (Sansa) stood. “If it please my lord, I must go…” Before her little lord (her cousin/his grace/etc.) could find the words to protest, she gave him a quick curtsy and fled the bedchamber… (Again, this hints at Sansa’s decision to stay with Jon and to be physically intimate with him.)

PART TWO: Robin Arryn will aid the North just as House Tyrell did for King’s Landing

With the focus on food storage both last season and this one, it seems likely that the North will face a food crisis. However it may be accelerated if the food stores are burned during the Battle for the Dawn. If this takes place, what then? WHAT HAVE WE SEEN PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOW THAT MIGHT INDICATE WHERE THE NARRATIVE WILL PROCEED? 

After helping House Baratheon/Lannister win the Battle of Blackwater Bay, House Tyrell ends the famine that plagues King’s Landing. Offered anything that the royal house can bestow upon them, the Tyrells request a betrothal between their house and King Joffrey. 

In a parallel move, it seems entirely possible that Yohn Royce will offer the Vale’s food stores and may hint at a marriage alliance between his liege lord Robin Arryn and the Lady of Winterfell. With the show choosing to repeatedly focus on the positive working relationship between Yohn Royce and Sansa, it stands to reason that Yohn would prefer Robin Arryn marry a smart, capable woman whom he respects. Just as Margaery confesses that she has heard a great deal about Joffrey that caused her to fall in love with him, Robin has been kept abreast of Yohn’s time at Winterfell, most likely including his impression of Sansa. As Robin was also told by his mother that he and Sansa would marry, Robin would hold the idea of a betrothal with his cousin in high regard. FOR THE SHOW’S WRITERS, THIS ALSO SERVES THE PURPOSE OF REMINDING THE GENERAL AUDIENCE THAT MARRIAGES BETWEEN COUSINS WERE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE AND COMMONPLACE. 

Regardless of Sansa’s personal feelings, a famine would force the Northern forces to leave Winterfell and to seek the resources they need in order to simply survive; in all likelihood, they would travel to the Riverlands if Robin Arryn does offer/agree to supply the North.  

Is meeting Robin or just the prospect of meeting him what pushes Jon and Sansa to declare their love for one another?

Faced with possible betrothals for both of them whilst learning that they could have a chance to be together, Jon and Sansa will demonstrate the depth of their feelings for each other, including jealousy, as the show increasingly displays  their chemistry in front of other characters. The climax for this plot point will be Bronn returning Sansa’s doll (Ned’s gift) AND her dragonfly necklace (Jon’s gift) as an “act of good faith”; it will force Jon and Sansa to not only admit their current feelings for one another but also of their past relationship at the start of the story, including:

Their secret meetings to ‘practice kissing’

Their goodbye scene at Winterfell in which Jon gave her the dragonfly necklace and vowed to Sansa to protect the North for her as his future queen

Although Jon taking the necklace and placing it back around Sansa’s neck would reaffirm their feelings for one another, it could parallel Rhaegar’s disastrous decision to publicly demonstrate his affection for Lyanna Stark at the Tournament of Harrenhel.  

(NOTE: My apologies for only referencing and not summarizing my theory on Sansa’s dragonfly necklace being a gift from Jon/the Evenstar necklace of GoT. Part One of that meta can be found here.)

Possible Additional Parallels (All in the Riverlands)

Robb Stark agreeing to a betrothal for the sake of his family only to marry another person all whilst fighting a war.

Rhaegar inappropriately demonstrating his love for Lyanna in public at Harrenhal by giving her the crown of roses.

Rhaegar and Lyanna marrying in secret. 

What Happens if Jon Does Create the Tournament of Harrenhal 2.0? 

Most likely it will be the event that starts the next ‘Dance of Dragons’. I might add to this after episode three airs.

[tetrakys]

Payback

My rewrite of Castie’s date from episode 13. I liked the original one so this is just an extra.

While playing these games I found out I can be a petty person sometimes… apparently my Candy is too.

 —————————————————————————–

This was supposed to be a romantic night out, instead I had never felt this uncomfortable watching a movie before. Castiel was sitting right next to me, but it was like he was far, far away. He was mad, and I knew exactly the reason why.

It had started so well, we had finally found a way to spend some time together. Going to the cinema on a Sunday night wasn’t ideal, but I would have done anything to have a proper date with him. There wasn’t a huge crowd in the movie theatre, still he hadn’t gone unnoticed. People were either looking at us or asking him for news about his next concert. I could tell this made him a little uncomfortable, but when we’d finally taken our seats, he was back to his usual flirty self, ready to spend the next two hours in the dark not watching a single minute of the film.

Right then, a paparazzi had taken our picture. I was surprised and yes, a little annoyed, but whatever, our pictures had already been plastered all over the internet, what was one more at this point. Castiel, instead, was furious. After trying in vain to catch the photographer, he had announced we were leaving.

Just like that.

That irked me like nothing else. A few days ago, he had explained how this was his life now, and I had to get used to it if I wanted to be with him. Was it ideal? No, of course not. But was I complaining? Not at all. Apparently, I wasn’t the one who had problems getting used to it.

I could have behaved as the understanding girlfriend, taken his hand and left the cinema without a word, but that wasn’t me, he knew it very well. He had never been able to boss me around when we were teens, I wasn’t going to let him now. That was actually one of the things he loved about me at the time but, considering the cold vibes he was emanating, I wasn’t sure he still felt the same way right this moment.

All our encounters since we had started dating again added to either locking ourselves in my room for half an hour, or spending the night in his flat. I was his girlfriend, not his secret hook-up, I was promised a real date and that was what I was going to get. I stood my ground and said that I was staying, he was free to leave if he wanted.

For ten excruciating seconds I thought he was really going to take off and stand me up, but he didn’t. He had taken his seat again and hadn’t said a word to me since. We were almost at the end of the movie and he hadn’t touched me one single time.

I felt slightly guilty for sort of forcing him to stay and, to be honest, I would have been more accommodating if it wasn’t for what had happened before the incident. I had kissed him in the hall of the cinema and he had distanced himself, saying that he didn’t like public demonstrations of affection.

SINCE WHEN???

In the past he had been all over me all the time, he didn’t care about what other people thought. I remembered one specific event when he had been a big fan of having an audience.

———————————————————————–

“Woooooow it landed on the student body president!” Alexy cried excitedly. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

I waited several seconds before looking up. How was I going to get out of the situation?! I just had to say no, but no one had refused a dare yet, and no one could know why I couldn’t do it. Why couldn’t the stupid bottle have landed on Castiel?!

Nath stood up while looking at me straight in the eyes. He sat in front of me and he raised a hand to gently cup my cheek. He got close… he was really going to do it! I would have never thought that…

“Hey watch out!” Melody protested while Castiel roughly made his way towards the glass doors.

“Sorry I’m going to go. I’m going to walk around.”

Things were not going well… I couldn’t let him leave. I had to talk to him… Oh well if the others saw me. I rushed out of the room and followed him.

“Castiel…” I said tentative once I caught with him in the farthest and darkest corner of the garden.

“I swear I let it go, but I am not far off from blowing a fuse! If I hadn’t interrupted he would have kissed you!”

He was really furious, I had never seen him so mad before, pacing back and forward trying to calm himself. He kept blubbering about how it was Nath’s thing to go after his girlfriends. I tried to point out that what had happened with Deborah had all been plotted out by her, but he was so angry he was beyond reason.

“Let me remind you he doesn’t know about us!”

“And maybe he should!” he uttered coming towards me. “You know I’ve never been a fan of this idea of yours of keeping our relationship secret, and it seems I was right! Everyone seems to be entitled to take a shot at you!”

“Everyone… Castiel, I know you’re mad, but you’re exaggerating now!”

“Am I?” he replied with an evil smirk, “you have no idea, do you? About how soldier boy has had the hots for you since he was still a scrawny thing. About how the geek acts even lamer when you are around. And…” a pained look crossed his face, “even Lysander, the way he looks at you… my own best friend!”

“Castiel…”

“I should stake my claim, here and now!”

“Castiel, please… I think people noticed us already, please…”

He got even closer to me, his eyes full of rage.

“I don’t fucking care…” he placed his hand against the tree behind me, “and I would have never let him kiss you… I would rather kiss you in front of everyone else in this place.”

He put his other hand on the other side of my face, effectively trapping me between the tree and his strong body. With a glint in his eyes he brought his face closer to mine.

“Who do you belong to, Candy?”

“No one,” I replied.

“Wrong answer,” he said with a mischievous smile, his lips hovering over mine just a breath away, I so wanted him to kiss me.

“I’m no one’s property,” I said stubbornly.

“Mmm…” he caressed my cheek with his lips, so lightly… then left a small kiss under my ear. He wasn’t touching me anywhere else, just his lips tracing a path along my neck, so sweetly it was making me lose my mind.

“Castiel…” I whispered grabbing his t-shirt. “Kiss me…” I asked pleadingly.

“Why should I?” he said, his warm tongue licking my neck, sending shivers up my spine.

“Please…”

“What if someone sees us?” he asked …the devil!

“I don’t care… Castiel, please… I’m yours…” my skin was burning up.

I felt his smirk on my skin, then he placed a kiss on my neck and sucked.

“Ouch…” I blurted surprised at first. Then an amazing sensation took over and I tilted my neck to grant him better access. He sucked for a few other seconds, marking me, his purpose right from the start. When he was done I put my hands in his hair and pushed his face towards mine, lips finally meeting in the kiss I was so desperate for. And that was exactly what it was… a desperate kiss, full of jealousy and possessiveness. It seemed to say, “you are mine, only mine…” and I was replying the same, “you’re mine and I’m yours.”

When I finally came up for air we looked at each other for a while, lost in our own world. Then, with a satisfied smirk he said, “I think he got the message.”

With the corner of my eye I saw a movement on my right… wha… Nathaniel!

“Now he knows he is a dead man if he ever tries to touch you…” he said patting my hair, looking at me lovingly, “now he knows we are indestructible.”

He’d just outed us to Nath on purpose. I should have been mad but… he was right.

We were indestructible.

———————————————————————–

 I wish it had been true. We had crushed and burned, and my heart had broken into thousands tiny pieces. But we had found each other again… it must’ve meant something, damn it!

I couldn’t let this coldness between us last a second longer. Without looking at him I raised my hand to his, on the armchair, intertwining my fingers with his. I felt him stiffen at first, remaining completely immobile for a few minutes.

I stubbornly left my hand where it was and even tightened my grasp. He wasn’t pushing me away and I considered it half a victory. After a while he closed his fingers around mine and we stayed like that until the end of the movie.

“I’m going to walk you back to campus,” he said while the credits were rolling. We headed back to my dorm silently, but his hand was still holding mine.

At some point I had to break the silence, it was awkward and defining and I needed to fix that, whatever that was.

“I don’t care if your life is in the public eye now Castiel. I don’t even care if this means having to spend 99% of our time together locked up in your place alone. But I’m not going to run away from the world. I’m not going to hide our relationship, we are not sixteen anymore. You were right at the time, it was a stupid idea then, and it’s a stupid idea now.”

I stopped in front of the campus gates and pulled him towards me. He was so tall I now had to raise my head to look at him.

“You are everything I want, Castiel. Everything I’ve always wanted. We have a second chance here and I’m not going to waste it being afraid.”

He raised his other hand to my cheek and caressed my lips with his thumb.

“You’ve always been stronger than me,” he said looking at me in the eyes, “and you’ve always been able to calm me whenever I needed it the most, how do you do it? How do you have this power on me?”

“I’m a witch,” I replied with a smirk. Then a very interesting and funny thought crossed my mind and added, “come, walk me to my room, my roommate will be back really late tonight.”

We made our way across the quad and reached the dorm. I could feel a buzz of electricity between us while we rode the elevator. His fingers started drawing small circles in the palm of my hand.

When I finally opened my door, I pulled him inside by his tie and he kicked the door shut behind him.

“So…” I said with an inviting tone, “what was that you wanted to do to me once you finally had me alone?”

He smirked his devilish smile I loved so much, “you really want me to show you…?”

“Mmm…” I replied faking indecision, “maybe I want to be the one to show you.”

I pushed him and he fell with his back on my bed. Raising himself on his elbows, he looked at me hungrily while I walked towards him with confident steps. Straddling his hips, I took his face in my hands and kissed him languidly. He followed me in the kiss immediately, our tongues caressing each other in their own dance.

Putting my hand under his t-shirt, I grazed his rock-hard abs with my nails, getting closer and closer to the button of his jeans, and a moan escaped his lips.

He had just grabbed my ass with one of his hands, to push me closer to his length, when we heard the door open and a surprised yelp, followed immediately by the door slamming back closed.

“Didn’t you say your roommate was out late tonight?” Castiel asked me, looking puzzled.

“Well… I think she got the message, what do you say?” I smirked.

He was completely dumbstruck.

“And you… did you get the message?” I asked mischievously, I lowered my lips to his ear and whispered.

“Payback.”

———————————————————————–

I’m still waiting for Yeleen to run into Castiel in our bed in game.

See? I told you I can be petty.