#doing a little crafts project in the garage might have a beer about it

[amygdalae]

Standing in the garage nothing can hurt me in the garage. Garage smell has 3x the spiritual cleansing properties of burnt sage

[sortasirius]

Baby’s

Don’t look at me I’m so fucking emo

I want this for Dean so bad

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Words: 1079

Dean never realized how much cleaning went into owning a bar.

He’s spent a lot of time in bars, and more often than not they’re greasy, crusty, smell like cigarette smoke and sweat and stale beer.  But not his place.  Nah, Baby’s is gonna be clean, with one of the shiny bars you always see in movies, with a ton of beers on tap.  It’s a place he’s always dreamed of, obviously, since Michael stuck him there when he was in control, but he tries not to think about that.  Those memories were hazy anyway.

He found this place by accident, maybe the last of Chuck’s luck, maybe the universe throwing him a bone.  (He has saved it a few times, after all).  The place is perfect, right in the middle of Texas, so he has the blazing summers to look forward to, but he can do without the winters in Kansas, so it’s a fair enough trade.

It’s an honest to god roadhouse, the perfect mix of bar and home, especially with the apartment situated above it.  The whole place needs some serious TLC, but he doesn’t mind.  For the first time in his life, he doesn’t have anywhere else to be.

He fixes up the little garage first, taking the tools he had scrounged from the bunker and from his own supply when he left and storing them carefully in the backseat when he leaves for the last time, taking a long look in the rearview before he matches Sam and Eileen’s tire tracks and turns the opposite direction.  He strips the wood, sands it, clears it of debris and weeds and trash, spends his first days at the new place outside in the sun, listening to his favorite songs on Spotify from his phone.

Finally, after five days, his first of many projects is done.  The garage is fit for a queen, which is, well, perfect really.  Dean parks the Impala and covers her carefully in a sheet.  She’s finally semi-retired.

He heads inside, hoping against hope that the pipes wouldn’t rust out on him and he can get a good shower.

“How’s it look?” Cas looks up from his place at the bar, where he’s in a ratty t shirt that’s already covered in wood stain, scrubbing the bar with so much vigor that Dean is kinda scared it’ll snap in half.

“It’s done.  She’s parked.”

Cas smiles at him, and Dean can’t help but return it with everything he has. 

He had thought, maybe, that Cas would want to go out on his own, being human and everything now.  Looking back, that was kind of stupid, but Dean had felt like he was twenty pounds lighter when Cas had slid into the passenger seat of the Impala saying nothing but,

“Where to?”

They spend the next six months fixing the place up from seam to seam, from the rotted floors to the dingy bathroom, to the apartment upstairs.  With their sweat and blood and ten thousand trips to Home Depot, they make the place into something that has only ever lived in Dean’s dreams.

And as they clean and repair and replace and build, that thing that he had always tried his best to force into the lowest, darkest part of himself.  That thing with Cas.  That was allowed to grow.  It was more natural than anything else.  More natural to lean over a beer and kiss Cas than it was to start the engine of the Impala.  Something that was a given, never to be questioned again.

“What’s the name?” Sam asks over the phone one Sunday morning, while Dean organizes their first ever liquor shipment and Cas tries to figure out how to put a tap together.

“I was thinking Baby’s.”

“For the Impala?” he can hear Sam’s smirk through the phone.

“Yeah...and for Dirty Dancing too.”

One last homage to Lee, even after everything.

“Wow, chick flick king over here,” Sam laughs, “Well, Eileen and I found a great little place up in Montana, you and Cas should come visit when you get a break.”

“We won’t ever get a break,” Cas cuts in, rolling his eyes and huffing in frustration, “He’s already got us working eighteen hour days.”

“What can I say, I’m a business owner now,” Dean winks at Cas, who’s mouth lifts at the flirtation.

“Well whatever, you should come see the place when you get the chance.”

“Will do Sammy.  I’ll talk to you next week.”

“Sure thing, bye man, bye Cas.”

Dean doesn’t really expect much business.  They are a little...off the beaten path, but they’re close enough to a small town that they get a few curious locals who quickly become their regulars.  And those regulars bring in people who bring in people who make Dean and Cas busier than they ever were as hunters. 

Dean’s crowning achievement is the purple neon sign, with pink and deep blue accents, that they set up above the place.  Baby’s.  His place.  He swells with pride every time he looks at it, and doesn’t even complain when Cas makes them switch sides of the bed because it bothers his eyes at four in the morning.

They have to hire two more bartenders in six months, and Dean suddenly feels like a real owner.  He loves playing bartender and slinging drinks much more than the boring paperwork, but Cas helps him with that.  They’ve always made a great team.

Dean feels like he spends most of his free time cleaning now.  If he was downstairs, he was always armed with a bottle of disinfectant spray and a dishrag.  Cas calls him a germaphobe.  Dean says he’s not and then kisses Cas to prove it.  Cas just shakes his head and goes back to wiping glasses.

Dean doesn’t realize it until about a year in, but he looks around at the bustling place, with pool tables and foosball and classic arcade games that Dean bought for a song and fixed up himself, with the line of craft beers he’d always wanted, with Cas by his side, throwing his head back at a joke one of the regulars is telling, Dean realizes that he might be really, truly happy for the first time in his life.

And it was all down to a roadhouse.

Dean finally gets the piece of Heaven he’s always deserved.  Funny enough, maybe fitting enough, it just happened to be here on earth the whole time.

[eph-em-era]

So *if* one were possibly maybe writing a modern AU wherein Ed and Stede from OFMD were both New Zealanders living in the US at the moment, what are some things from when they were younger they might bond over remembering from New Zealand? Like TV shows, movies, music, foods, any stupid random little stuff.

oooh okay!

so i am a lil bit younger than like... these characters, but i can defs give you some pointers from what i know from my kiwi friends who've moved overseas

it all sort of depends on when they moved overseas? like some of these are very much 'i grew up in the 80s/90s and left in the late 90s', but some are defs 'i left nz in 2010 and am nostalgic'. if you have any questions, lemme know!

food: whittakers chocolate (it's incredible), tui or DB beer (it's not good beer, but if you have a taste for the cheap stuff then you'd defs miss it, cause coronas etc are wildly different, and craft beer is a whole other WORLD (Garage Project and Kereru are very popular nz craft beers)), kiwi coffees (flat whites, etc - the US makes them a lot sweeter and a lot less well), feijoas (april in nz is a massive time for them, everyone has 10000s in their yards), trumpets (type of ice cream). a lot of those are more recent. for things that kiwis loved but have been discontinued, try tangy fruits or snifters!

music - here's my playlist of older kiwi music, if they were growing up in the 80s/90s they defs would have heard these. dave dobbyn is like the go-to guy - even the most cynical of kiwis might feel a wave of nostalgia if they're lonely overseas when listening to Welcome Home.

media - i mean, taika is in... most of the well known kiwi shows/movies lol. Shortland St is a soap opera that is incredibly popular but not very good. it contains absolutely batshit nonsense like most soap operas, so people do kind of think of it fondly (karl urban played one of the first gay characters on tv ever on shortland st in 1994/95). more older references would be things like Christmas in the Park and NZ Idol. Our politicians frequently embarrass themselves on Dancing with the Stars too. Country Calendar is a slow moving kiwi tv show about rural life that's been on tv for 10000 years which i doubt either of them would watch, but it might have been on in the background. so was Fair Go. they probably watched What Now as kids (it started in 1981) too.

events - generally historical events they would remember/chat about could be the passing of the gay marriage bill in 2013, the flag referendum in 2015/2016 (absolute pointless waste of money but we did get the laser kiwi flag out of it), maybe the rainbow warrior bombing in 1985, homosexual law reform in 1986, winning the rugby world cup in 1987 and then again in 2015, christchurch earthquake in 2011.

:)

[nickgerlich]

Clothes Calls

I remember when I was growing up. I was fortunate to always have new clothes for each school year. They may not have been fancy, but they kept me covered. And given that I, like every other child, was going through growth spurts and so forth, it meant that in a year or so, I had outgrown those threads--that’s what we called them in the 60s--which meant that my younger brother became the recipient of a new wardrobe.

Little did we know it back then, but were were participating in a rather rudimentary version of thrifting, even if it was inter-family. I have no idea what happened to those clothes after my brother outgrew them, because they were no longer my concern. I suspect, though, that they went to the landfill with holes in the knees and elbows, and if they had any life remaining, they were donated to a charity.

Today, though, thrifting has become a major enterprise, primarily because of the cost of clothes in general, and the preoccupation with fast fashion. For those who buy new, stores like F21 and H&M have become Meccas of whatever is cool. While the prices appear to be cheap, the quality is often low, and given our whims and fashion sensibilities, the price-per-wearing can actually be quite high.

The result is young people, namely Gen-Z and Millennials, which thus includes everyone under 41, are flocking to Goodwill  and other thrift stores in search of bargains. Franchise chains like Plato’s Closet each have unique inventories based on who brings in clothes to unload, and it is always open season to see what you can find. Even older folks--ahem--can shop at places like Clothes Mentor, which primarily targets people like my wife.

And then there is Depop, the online reseller that Etsy just bought for $1.63 billion. If you needed proof that thrifting is a big deal, this is it. Analysts project this market to hit $64 billion in 2024.

The bulk of Depop’s customers is under 26 years of age, which is nearly exclusively the domain of Gen-Z (those born 1997 or after), and it is a demographic that has no problem with the idea of reselling or buying previously-used clothes. It has more than 26 million users in 147 countries. Whereas I grew up with a no-way-in-hell are we buying used clothes, it’s perfectly OK today.

Etsy, that bastion of craft items, limits how and where clothing is resold on its site, but with Depop, they have jumped into the deep end of the pool. Given the new consciousness of younger generations, it is the environmentally friendly way to do things.

Remember the mantra: Recycle. Reuse. Repurpose. Resell. Or something like that. And I like it, even if it is an idea new to me.

Just one look at my closet and you will quickly surmise that I should be doing this. I’ll go one step farther and say that pretty much every adult American should be doing this. How many of you have garments in your closet still bearing the manufacturer’s tags? How many of you have items you have worn not more than once? And how many of you have complete wardrobes for “different size you” depending on whether you’ve been pounding too many beers?

Time for me to step in front of the mirror. Be right back.

By now you might be thinking, why don’t you just post this stuff on eBay? After all, a lot of people have been doing that for years. Just ask my wife. She’s the Queen of eBay. But eBay isn’t as cool as Depop. It’s the Trendyville of used clothing, where streetwear and vintage share equal billing and the founders turned a garage sale into a social network.

Naturally, if a bunch of old people like me started using it, the coolness factor would go way down. Can you imagine someone posting button-down Oxford dress shirts and neck ties? Ummm...not so much. Then again, maybe there’s a market for a boomer Depop.

While we ponder those prospects, consider also the fact that when Simon Beckerman started Depop a decade ago, he probably didn’t have an exit strategy in mind. Even if he did, it would be hard to imagine a better ending, because now he can buy that island we all dream about retiring on.

Maybe he’d like to buy some of my “different size me” beachwear.

Dr “Time To Sell Some Clothes“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[catchester]

12 Days of Christmas

Title: Epiphany 

Authors: @evieplease​​​​ and @catchester​​���​

Which character: Actor!Tom and OFC Rocky

Genre: Humour/Explicit

Fic Summary: Tom and Rocky spend their first Christmas as a couple and Rocky meets Tom’s Mum for the first time. Expect 12 gifts, too much boozy, bad puns and lots of fun!

Rating: Mature

Previous Chapters: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17138390/chapters/40304798

Epiphany 

I’m not much of a cook. I mean, I can feed myself but that cordon bleu shit is way out of my wheelhouse. I don’t really have the time or patience for it anyway. Tom beats me like a drum in the cooking stakes, but if there’s one thing I can cook perfectly, it’s a steak. 

I also make wonderful, fat chips—twice cooked so they’re lovely and crispy outside, but fluffy inside. And I’ve mastered a couple of sauces, but creamy pepper is Tom’s favourite, so we’ll be having that.

I’d also bought a little bit of broccoli to ‘show willing’, as my gran used to say. It was an afterthought, but it looks pretty on the plate, so. . .

Normally I’d cook a ribeye but tonight I was going all out and had bought three, fat, juicy sirloin steaks. I was salivating just thinking about them. 

I’d even bought a new dress, a little red dress—a nice companion for my overworked little black dress. I kind of love it. It’s figure hugging, but with a little flirty flare at the hem, and an almost exact match for my crimson Sephora lip stain. Looks great with my boots too. And I know that Tom will appreciate the back view. Just wearing the thing made me want to wiggle my arse for him!

I’d spent much of the day in my workshop, which is just a fancy way of saying the garage I rent near my flat that I store my spares and heavier equipment in. I knew I was pushing things time wise, but I was nervous, okay?

The fresh layer of snow didn't help matters, snarling up traffic and meaning my errand took twice as long as it should have. 

I ended up having to leave my chips boiling while I got ready, and kept darting back to poke them with a knife. I was damn lucky I didn't overcook them and end up with mash, but somehow I didn’t. 

I had just slid into my new dress when the buzzer went, and I scrambled to do the zip up before Tom and Diana reached my front door. 

I didn’t quite make it, and had to greet Diana with my bra strap hanging out. Luckily Tom spotted my predicament and zipped me up the rest of the way, but not before Diana commented on how chilly I must be! But I got a kiss on the back of my neck from Tom, so it’s all good.

My flat might only be two bedrooms, but it was pretty spacious. I’d improved it a lot over the last five years and it was worth a small fortune thanks to London prices. I would never have been able to afford a flat in London if not for my Dad. Growing up, we’d lived in a council house, which Dad bought at a vastly reduced rate back in the 80s when Right to Buy came in. As such, his small mortgage was long paid off, and the prices had skyrocketed over the years, so when all three of his kids had flown the coop, he sold the four bedroom place and bought two flats in the same estate, but different blocks. 

We’d drawn up a contract and when I reached what he’d paid for it, he’d transfer ownership to me, or it would come to me on his death, whichever came first. My brothers would get his larger flat to share between them. Good luck to ‘em! Those boys haven’t agreed on anything but the MCU since they were ten and twelve, and I can just about predict the rows they’ll have deciding to renovate or sell Dad’s place. I plan on sitting back and enjoying the show.

One of my improvements to my place was to knock down the wall between the living room and kitchen. Where the wall used to be I kept a narrow, oblong table that folded out into one that could comfortably seat four. My extra folding chairs were kept in a cupboard. In my defence, they’re very nice folding chairs and I have cushions I can tie on… 

How naff. I’d hang my head in shame, but I know Diana will appreciate the irony.

Thank god I hadn't had time to worry like this earlier, or they’d likely have arrived to find me sloshed again! Speaking of which... 

“Can I get you a drink?” I asked, my stomach swooping, suddenly realising I should have picked up an extra bottle of wine! Bollocks! Wait, didn’t I have a nice one Tom bought as a gift a few months ago lurking at the back of a cupboard somewhere? I’d have to get it in the fridge ASAP. 

“I don't have any red wine, I’m afraid, only rosé.” I worried my lip. I’m not really a fan of red wine,  but red meat goes with red wine, and Diana would know that! 

“Oh lovely, I like a nice rosé.” Diana to the rescue! God, I love that woman. She’s so polite. 

I did find the bottle Tom had brought around before. It too was pink, but it was prosecco, not wine. Aah well, maybe that would work better as a dessert wine. Or, with luck, a fizzy celebration wine. I put it in the top of the fridge and opened the cold bottle of rosé. 

“Here you go.” I handed them each a glass, but decided to have a beer myself so the wine would go further. I did decant my bottle contents into a tall glass for a change though because I’m at least attempting to be civilised tonight. 

“You have a lovely home,” Diana said as I sat down on my L-shaped unit. It was a bargain I’d found on freecycle then re-upholstered, but it was a quality piece and looked expensive. 

It’s not that I can’t afford a new sofa, even an expensive one—my business does well and my rent to my Dad is whatever I want to pay him. I pay quite a lot because I want him to get his investment in the flat back quickly, but he wouldn't mind at all if I took a whole year off payments because he trusts me. Plus, he’s semi retired now so all he does is answer the phones and do the books, for which he claims 30% of the profits. He started the business so I don’t begrudge him, and it means he isn't desperate for my rent as his income. 

The real reason I upcycled my sofa is that she had such lovely bones, and I love crafty activities. After the renovations on the flat were done, I’d set about finding pieces I could give new life to. My bed mattress was brand new, but the headboard was second hand and recovered in a print to compliment the aqua and white paint in there. I’d stripped the old varnish off the wood parts and stained it new.

I asked Diana about the exhibition she was going to see and she explained it was actually a workshop where she’d be learning something called blackwork embroidery. I’d gathered from looking around her home that she was quite arty, but I hadn’t realised she enjoyed crafting too. It was nice to know we had something in common and I told her about a couple of my projects in the flat. I even told her the story of stapling my finger to the sofa she was sitting on, the very first time I used an upholstery gun, and she told me about some of her past projects. 

After topping up their glasses, I began preparing the meal, but I could still chat to them as I worked. They wanted their steaks medium, which everyone defines differently but after some probing I determined that they liked it red inside, but not bloody cold, which was my preference too. Okay, maybe I like mine a little bloody, but it went on the skillet only 60 seconds after theirs. 

I served my very fat chips in a sort of jenga tower with the middle bricks missing, being very careful not to wipe my greasy fingers on my red dress,  then the steaks, a very healthy dollop of peppercorn sauce, and the broccoli topped with a knob of butter on the side. 

“You led me to believe you weren’t a very good cook,” Diana gently chided me as we ate. 

“I’m not,” I assured her. “I know how to cook, like, three things really well, this, lasagne, and a cheesecake, which we’re having for desert. Everything else falls somewhere between okay and inedible.” 

“Do not ask her to cook fish,” Tom winked at me conspiratorially.

I laughed. He’d once said something about liking salmon, so I got a recipe and tried to cook it for him. It was all new to me, the only fish Dad or the boys would eat came from the fish and chips shop down the corner. Unfortunately no matter what I did the stuff tasted like dirt! Very fishy dirt! I ended up over seasoning, then overcooking it so much that it dried out and it really was inedible. 

And it still tasted like dirt!

We’d ordered a curry instead. 

“Well, these potatoes are amazing, you must give me the recipe,” Diana told me, smiling warmly at me. 

It wasn't hard, so I explained it to her as we ate. 

As well as complimenting me, Diana ooh’d and ah’d as she ate. Tom just ate steadily as if afraid someone might nick his plate if he slowed down, glancing up at me with a warm appreciative smile now and then, so I think they genuinely liked it. 

Good, Diana would probably not like it if I poisoned her boy. 

Talk of the salmon disaster naturally led onto other food related disasters, and I quickly learned I was in good company. 

“Do you remember when you left some steaks out to defrost?” Tom asked his mum. 

Apparently their neighbour’s cat had neatly chewed away all but the rind of fat while they were in the garden. Then there was the story of a time they’d been visiting a friend, and another friend’s dog had eaten the shepherd’s pie they were to be served! 

The Guinness pie was my favourite story though. It was apparently a steak pie made with Guinness gravy, that Diana loved as a child. It was her father’s recipe, basically the only thing he cooked, and then only once or twice a year, on special occasions. She swore she followed the recipe her father gave her to the letter but it was awful. 

“Turned my stomach, honestly,” she admitted, turning pink even after all these years. 

Tom was grinning. “She served us all first, then she realised she’d forgotten the pot of English mustard and told us to all tuck in. Well we did, and there’s me, my sisters and my dad just looking at each other. We all knew she’d spent all day on this and was really looking forward to it. None of us had the heart to tell her we couldn't eat it. She came back and we all plastered smiles on and told her how wonderful it was, while helping ourselves to carrots.”

“That should have been my first clue,” Diana laughed. “Honestly, you’d have thought this one was allergic to vegetables, given how hard he tried to avoid them, and there he was larding his plate with carrots!”

“Then she took one mouthful and her face just turned grey,” Tom laughed. Diana reached out and playfully smacked his shoulder.

“I still tried it a second and third time, in case I’d made a mistake, although I didn't make the family try it. I thought that perhaps the stout needed to marinate longer, or be cooked at a higher temperature so it burned off, but each attempt was just as inedible as my first bite. My father was adamant that he’d given me the exact recipe he used. I gave up in  the end and concluded that he must have substituted something else for the stout, possibly something like cider. I’ve tried other recipes with cider gravy over the years but never quite managed to replicate the same taste.”

I cleared the plates from the table but everyone wanted a little break before desert, which was fine with me. 

“Has Tom told you about our 12 days gifts?” I asked Diana as I grabbed a box from a kitchen drawer.

Suddenly I had a sort of out of body experience where I was watching myself sit with Tom and his mum, I must be mad for even considering what I was about to do...

“He’s told me all about it,” she grinned. “What a lark! It sounds like you had great fun.”

“We did, but more than that, those gifts, specifically the thought Tom had put into his, had really brought home how much he cares for me.” 

I handed Diana a gift box, about 6 inches by four, and maybe two deep. It wasn't wrapped but I had done it up in a fancy ribbon. Eventually she freed it from it’s ribbon prison and opened the lid. 

There in the middle, nestling among some tissue paper (which was hiding some printer paper because I didn't have enough tissue paper, and I wasn’t using bog paper) sat a ring box. 

“This looks interesting,” she murmured, reaching for the ring box.

I could hardly hear her over the hammering of my heart, and I couldn’t look at Tom. My hands were sweating, and my leg was jittering under the table.

As I got off my chair, my knees were trembling but I managed to move beside Diana’s chair before I collapsed to my knees. I barely made eye contact with Tom, who looked curious. 

“It’s a. . . a ring?” 

I had found an incredible rose gold, tungsten ring with a gorgeous burl wood inlay for Tom. I thought it would look warm and elegant on his left hand. It’s unusual, but once I saw it, I couldn’t even look at any bog standard men’s wedding bands. I hope he likes it. Diana’s finger traced thoughtfully over the design, so I think she liked it.

Diana looked up at me, eyebrows up and questions in her eyes. I shuffled around, less gracefully than I’d like until I was on one knee before her, in the traditional pose of a proposer. 

I desperately wanted to look at Tom to see his reaction but I didn’t dare. I’d lose my bottle, if I did...

I took the ring box from her, but I was shaking so much I had to hold it with both hands. I cleared my throat, and sternly ordered myself not to tear up out of sheer nerves.

“This last year taught me a lot about Tom and our relationship, and I suppose you could say I’d had an epiphany about how much your son has come to mean to me. With that in mind, Diana, I..” My voice cracked and I had to clear it and try again.  “I wonder if you would do me the honour of becoming my Mother-in-Law? 

The next three seconds seemed to last an hour. Diana’s mouth opened in surprise as she stared down at the ring. Not unpleasantly surprised, but, oh god, she also wasn't answering me... 

I shouldn't have done it this way, I shouldn't have brought Diana into this. I’d just thought it was a funny and quirky way to include her, but of course, she couldn't answer for Tom. This was such a stupid idea! 

I saw Diana’s gaze flick in Tom’s direction and still couldn’t look at him. I kept my eyes steady on hers and wished the ground would open up to swallow me whole. Hell, it could take my whole apartment, as long as this nightmare stopped! 

I could feel my eyes pricking with tears of humiliation. I should have got drunk again, then I’d probably be passed out and unable to make a fool of myself. Again. I lifted my chin and grabbed courage with both hands, waiting for the verdict.

Suddenly there was an arm around my shoulder and I realised Tom was kneeling beside me. 

“Please, Mum, say yes!” 

I’ve never felt so much relief as when I heard him say that. I swayed on my knees and my surroundings spun briefly as all the air seemed to rush back into the room.

Diana’s hand moved to her chest, patting it as if she’d had heart palpitations, her eyes twinkling down at me.

“Well I don’t know…” she deliberately drew out her response, the tease! “Don’t you think this is... awfully sudden, dear?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. What was she on about? She looked just exactly like Tom when he was about to spring a horrible pun on me, the same sly little smile lurking about her lips. 

“I’m trying to think what those vows would be... ‘Do you, Rocky, take this woman, Diana, as your Awful Wedded Mother-in-Law? To poke and to prod, to stick her nose in where it isn’t wanted, and to generally make herself a pain in your arse? So help you baby Jesus?’

I grinned. Yep, I definitely wanted her! Tom choked beside me, laughing.

“Diana, that is exactly what I had in mind!” I nodded my head hard, my hair bouncing wildly around my head. “So, um, will you?”

Diana reached down and carefully pulled a strand of hair from my mouth, tenderly tucking it behind my ear, her eyes softened into the exact shade Tom’s get. Her hand cupped my cheek gently.

“Yes Rocky, I’d be delighted to be your Mother-in-Law.” she said softly. I heard Tom’s breath gust out in relief beside me. I knelt up, throwing my arms around her and squeezing hard. “Thank you,” I whispered into her hair. I cleared my throat, because I was not going to cry on Tom’s mum.

Diana put her hands on my arms, gently pushing me away, her eyes going behind me.

“I think there’s someone who wants his turn…”

Before I could even look his way, Tom had pulled me onto his thighs, wrapping his arms around me tightly and hugging me hard. One hand went into my hair and pulled my face up to his. There were tears in his eyes, and a crooked smile on his lips.

“Yes please, Rocky.”

Then he was kissing me fiercely, and by god, I was giving back, my hands clutching his shirt.

“Ahem…” Diana cleared her throat. I pulled away from Tom long enough to glance round at her.

“But you said I could have him!” I grumbled at her, hiding my elated laugh. Her eyes laughed right back at me.

“Yes dear, but not right now, if you please! I believe I was promised cheesecake!”

***

We put Diana in a cab back to Tom’s for the night, hugs and kisses all around. She even pinched my cheek! Tom and I stood, arms around each other’s waists, waving goodbye to her as she drove off 

“What would you have done if she’d said ‘no’?” Tom’s tone was slyly curious as we made our way back up the stairs to my second floor flat. I blanched.

“Died of humiliation?” Even thinking of the possibility gave me cold shivers. But Tom had slid to his knees next to me.

“What would you have done?” I turned my face up to his, wondering if he’d have gone along with his mum. Tom scowled.

“Rocky, you know I love my mum. But I’d have told her to…” Tom stalled out as he considered his words. I cocked my head, waiting.

“I’d have told her to bugger off,” said the very civilised, posh idiot. I gasped, only then realising that I’d been holding my breath. 

“But Rocky,” Tom stopped before the door to my flat and raised my chin to look into my eyes. “That was never going to happen, my love. Because Mum loves me, and she knows I love you. Also,” he grinned, “Mum likes you. And now she finds you very engaging.”

Well shit. My eyes teared up at least as much from the sentiment as from the pun. I stood on my toes and kissed him.

Tom opened my door and ushered me in, turning to close the door behind us. When he turned back, I pushed him against it, holding him there with a hand in the center of  his chest.

My other hand slid down his torso to the waistband of his trousers, flicking the button open and sliding the zip down, ratcheting slowly.

I stared into his eyes, watching them darken from their Caribbean blue to steel, the creases at the corners of his eyes tightening.

“Rocky…” he breathed.

“Shhh…” I replied, slipping my hand into his trousers to grasp him. The posh idiot never wore pants, which was calculated to make me rethink the ‘posh’ part. Somehow, knowing that he was bare behind that zipper made me hard.

When my hand encountered all that hard, silky steel. Practically leaping into my hand, I could feel my pussy clench in sheer anticipation. I wanted that hard cock inside me, like, yesterday! 

Oh wait. It was inside me yesterday!

I wrapped my hand carefully and firmly around his shaft, my thumb extending over his bell end to protect him from any chance zip or harsh denim scraping against that tender, sensitive tip.

I like that cock. I wasn’t going to allow it to be hurt on my watch! Besides, if it was going to be mine for the rest of my natural life, forsaking all others, it was in my best interest to see to its proper care and feeding!

My hand tightened around him, just thinking what I wanted to feed it into. Tom lifted a hand and set it onto the column of my throat. I swallowed, feeling my throat move against his palm.

Tom’s head was tilted down watching me as I blindly explored his cock with my hand, palming his length and running my fingertips up his shaft, all the way to the edge of his foreskin. I ran my finger around the rim, gently pushing it down and freeing the vulnerable, delicate bit of skin right beneath his cock head.

I lifted my forefinger, dipping it into the drop of precome waiting there for me, dropping down and letting my finger glide around the edge of his foreskin on the slick fluid, being sure to slide over the tender skin of his bell. How can something so soft be so hard?

I think of myself as hard, but I’m soft for Tom. Really, the only thing to do is to make him mine. Thank god he said yes. Or…

“Um…”  I cleared my throat as I continued to glide my finger over him. “You did say yes, didn’t you? I mean, you get that having your mum as my mother-in-law actually entails you marrying me, right?” I lifted my eyes and searched his.

The blue of his eyes softened. His nose nuzzled below my ear.

“I do, Rocky. And yes, I will.”

All the air left my body and my fingers clenched on him, one hand on his chest, my nails digging into his skin, the other around his cock.

Tom hissed, and his hips shot forward into my fist, forcing his cock through the tight ring of my fingers.

“God, Rocky…” he groaned, his hands moving into my hair, thumbs on my jaw as he leaned down to kiss me roughly.

I stroked that silky smooth, incredibly hard length against my palm. Tom tore his mouth away, breaking our kiss and breathing hard. I took my opportunity to slip to my knees in front of him.

“Rocky...you don’t have-” He gasped.

“Tom,” I said sharply, “if you finish that sentence with ‘don’t have to suck my cock’, I might do you an injury!”

I squeezed his shaft, just to be clear what part might be injured.

“Right,” Tom gasped, “carry on, then.” He swallowed audibly hard, his hands clenching in my hair.

I grinned cheekily at him. “Don’t mind if I do!”

I dragged my free hand down his torso, firmly pushing his back against the door. I took a quick swipe at him with my tongue from stalk to tip and grinned up at him.

“I do what I want!”

I wrapped my lips around the head and gave a suck, swirling my tongue tip over and around the head.

I felt Tom’s deep throated groan vibrate through his body and onto my tongue. Stopping for a second, I looked up at him, for once with no quip on the tip of my tongue.

“I love you, Tom.”

Tom’s eyes completely dilated and he thrust into my fist, his cockhead pushing between my lips, and suddenly he was coming against my mouth. 

My hand pumped over his cock, squeezing and pulling his climax from him, licking his come from around my lips and working the rest out in hot ropes onto my neck and chest.

Tom made a tortured noise, his hands clenching in my hair and hips thrusting helplessly. I gentled my hand, holding it still and warm over his softening shaft as he panted above me.

“Rocky…”

I tore my eyes away from the sight softening in my hand and looked up.

“You undo me, my love.”

His hands moved to my arms and lifted me to stand, wrapping his arms and body around me like a loving cloak.

I nuzzled my nose into the patch of hair in the center of his chest.

“Love you, Tom,” I murmured into his skin, speaking directly to his thumping heart. The arms around me tightened.

“Come along. I have something for you.”

“I hope it’s a hot flannel!”

Tom snickered and trod across the room into the kitchen, dragging me to the sink and wetting a tea towel. He wiped us both clean, and tossed the towel on the side.

He’d left his tablet on the table. Pulling a chair out, he sat, tugging me down onto his lap. He reached for the tablet.

I was wondering if he planned to treat me to porn, or puppies. I never know with Tom, which is of course, one of the things I love about him. He swiftly swiped through a few screens and brought up a file.

“Here, what do you think?” He pushed the tablet into my hands and set his chin on my shoulder, looking over me at the screen.

My hand flew to my mouth, fingers trembling over it as I stared down at a page of gorgeous, conflict free, diamond engagement rings.

“I didn’t want to choose one without you, and I honestly didn’t know what sort you’d like, since you never wear rings or other jewelry,” Tom murmured.

My hand dropped down to the partridge in a pear tree necklace Tom had given me on the First Day of Christmas. 

“Except your partridge,” he acknowledged. “But I chose that, so I really have no idea what your taste in jewelry is.

I was speechless as Tom slowly scrolled through several pages of rings, all sorts, my eyes filling as it finally dawned on me that Tom had been planning to ask me, or was at least thinking about it, when a teardrop landed on the screen. His arm stole around my waist as he turned his head and kissed my neck.

I sniffled, slightly embarrassed, and let out a watery laugh.

“What’s funny, love?”

I sniffled again. “I got engaged today, and here you are, making me cry.”

Tom chuckled.

“Though it might just be PMS.” 

Tom lifted his head with a great shout of laughter. “Oh darling, with you it’s probably the entire alphabet!” Tom teased.

He brought up another page, this time with rubies and sapphires and such. My breath caught at a dark red, square cut stone with two smaller, smokey coloured square cut stones set on either side, all swirled about in a fanciful gold setting. It was stunning,

I reached out a finger and touched it. The image changed, showing other angles of the ring.

“Ooh, I like that one!” Tom wriggled a bit under me in his enthusiasm. “You like coloured stones? Unusual settings? So much better than boring old diamonds, don’t you think? Bloody marvelous, aren’t they?”

I nodded, my throat tight. I hadn’t even given any thought to a ring for me, yet. 

“Tom, I must tell you though, it’s unlikely that I’ll wear it much. With my job, my hands are in and out of all sorts of muck…”

“That’s alright then.” Tom hugged me. “There are plenty of times that I can’t wear jewelry on my job, too. On stage or filming, and so forth. We’ll just have to work out a routine for taking them off before going to work, and putting them back on when we get home. Think of it as putting on and taking off your shoes, only in reverse!”

My head spun with all the things that we haven’t talked about. Oh my god, I don’t know how to throw a wedding! Budget, guest list, venue, flowers, bridesmaids, grooms men,  catering, open or closed bar, the dress… the list seemed endless and I knew I was probably forgetting a dozen other things. 

“I guess there’s still loads of things to work out before we do this thing, right?”

“We can take as long as we need,” he soothed, sensing my unease. “And if we want, there are people we can hire who take care of the organisation.” 

“Okay,” I took a deep breath and tried to relax. “As long as you don’t expect me to look like some giant, frothy meringue.” 

“Never,” he laughed. “And if you get one of those dresses with a thousand pearly buttons down the back, expect them to get torn off on the wedding night.”

The idea of being torn out of my wedding dress actually turned me on a little. Is that bad? 

“Oh, you like that idea,” Tom purred. 

“It’s not the worst idea I’ve heard.”

“Well I’ll have to practice,” he told me, his face the picture of sincerity. “We’ll start easy, maybe try ripping a robe off, then we’ll graduate to t-shirts and shirt-shirts and before you know it’ I’ll be ready to destroy your wedding dress in my haste to get to you.” 

“Or,” I said, holding a finger up as I presented my counter argument, “You could just destroy me right now and I’ll wear a white string bikini on the wedding day.” 

“Only if I get to wear white speedos.”

“Fine, but you also need a white bow tie.” 

Imagining literally the worst of the worst white trash wedding was kind of fun. 

“And white flip-flops,” Tom added. 

“What about if we want a winter wedding?” I asked. 

“White wet suits,” he answered without missing a beat. “I’ll draw a string bikini on yours in Sharpie marker pen.”

“And I’ll be sure to outline your English countryside. Very much looking forward to shading in your arse crack.”

That was the remark that made us lose it and we laughed until our sides hurt. 

Eventually we calmed down, with just the occasional giggle reemerging as we lay there. 

“Now correct me if I’m wrong,” Tom purred, “but I believe there was some mention of me destroying you?” 

“Well yes. I’d hate for you to be embarrassed on the wedding night because we hadn’t practised.”

I swear I heard him growl as he pounced on me, his smile positively wolfish. 

Oh dear, I had awoken the beast and now I was doing to pay. 

I shivered in anticipation. 

[pbwsports]

Driveways, canyons, pools: NFL players create clever workouts

A farm. A field. A canyon. A pool. Even a driveway. As NFL players wait for a return to normalcy before the 2020 regular season begins, they have had to get creative with how and where they train.

The ripple effects of these unprecedented times -- nationwide social distancing during the coronavirus pandemic and an unknown timetable for a vaccine --have altered the professional sports landscape, and the NFL is no exception.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell authorized the reopening of all team facilities this week, in accordance with state and local regulations, although coaches and players who are not undergoing rehabilitation are prohibited from entering team buildings. While a handful of clubs took advantage of this allowance, states such as New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Virginia, Michigan, Illinois, Washington and California are still imposing heavier restrictions that affect a dozen team facilities.

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These inconsistent regulations have also changed the responsibilities of NFL strength trainers, who have spent time remotely assessing the workout needs of players, including their access to resources, as well as acting as liaisons for online equipment purchases. NFL teams were permitted to provide each player with up to $1,500 worth of workout equipment. Nevertheless, players have had to find inventive ways to stay in shape.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins uses his parents' driveway as his outdoor gym. New York Giants wide receiver Golden Tate mowed a track into a steep canyon near his home. Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver James Washington designed a training regimen on his Texas farm. New Orleans Saintslinebacker Demario Davis has his personal trainers living with him. Giants linebacker Blake Martinez became the beneficiary of a state-of-the-art gym. And Cleveland Browns punter Jamie Gillan grabbed some beers and built a "grubby" garage gym.

Even though players' locations, living situations and resources differ, there's a lesson shared by all: There are no excuses.

Big-money quarterback staying with parents

The playful jab is uttered without warning, hurled from the driver's side of a passing vehicle.

"Go Pack, go!"

And in that moment of lighthearted jest, Kirk Cousins can only ignore it. He knows the stop sign in front of the house makes him a sitting duck every morning.

Four times a week, starting promptly at 9 a.m., the Vikings quarterback gathers equipment from the garage and arranges it neatly on the long, curved pavement leading from his parents' house to the sidewalk. Resting on a wooden chair is his laptop, connected by videoconference to his longtime personal trainer, Chad Cook, who is 450 miles away in Atlanta. This is a glimpse into what constitutes the 2020 NFL offseason.

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"I like my privacy, so being out in the driveway, on display for the whole neighborhood to see is probably less than ideal. But desperate times call for desperate measures," Cousins said with a smile during a recent ESPN interview. "If it means a guy drives by in a truck and yells, 'Go Pack, go!' at me while we're working out, then so be it."

The manicured lawns of this Orlando, Florida, suburb serve as a backdrop to Cousins' regimen and his attempt at normalcy in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.

It's not a "home gym" by any means, Cousins concedes, but he insists he has everything he needs: a medicine ball, jump-rope, foam rollers, free weights and a football. And, the most essential tool of all: the laptop he uses to connect with Cook.

"[Every car will] see me doing my shuffles across the driveway, or my cariocas, or doing the jump-rope or different plank exercises, core work, medicine ball, lunges -- whatever it may be. And different people honk or wave, so it's kind of fun," said Cousins, who signed a two-year, $66 million extension with the Vikings in March.

Spotty Wi-Fi is a challenge when working out outdoors, but sheltering in place with his parents was by design: The nine-year veteran and his wife, Julie, now have plenty of reinforcements when it comes to taking care of their sons, Cooper, 2½, and Turner, 1.

"I kind of laugh when I talk about having two like I have 10," Cousins joked, "because compared to other guys in the league who have three, four, five, six kids, having two is not a big deal."

Dealing with this adversity has reaffirmed his commitment to his craft. It also taught him that the Public Broadcasting Service can be a football player's, as well as a father's, best friend: "'Daniel Tiger['s Neighborhood]' on PBS can be a lifesaver."

'Strict training mode' means living with trainers

The plan was to be in Nashville, Tennessee, for a month, but Demario Davis' offseason residence has become his permanent dwelling during the pandemic. His 7,500-square-foot house, purchased last offseason, is a saving grace of sorts, equipped with enough room for his wife, Tamela, and their four children under the age of 6.

And his two personal trainers.

Davis' trainers, Jose Tienda and Piankhi Gibson, typically work with him in two-to-three-week "strict training mode" spurts before heading back to their respective homes. They'll return to Nashville soon for another extended stay with Davis.

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As the 31-year-old enters his ninth NFL season -- and the final year of his contract -- he is determined not to lose ground to a youngster who might be aiming for his spot.

Mid-morning acupuncture and soft tissue work with Tienda give way to afternoon aqua training in a neighbor's pool with Gibson. Davis pauses for dinner and to help put the kids to bed. But before long, he's headed back for more body work. He crawls into bed around 12:30 or 1 a.m. on those rigorous training days.

With Louisiana still reeling from 35,316 confirmed COVID-19 cases (and 2,485 reported deaths) as of Thursday, Davis wasn't surprised Saints coach Sean Payton -- who was the first known NFL figure to test positive for the coronavirus -- announced there would not be virtual workouts, meetings or workout sessions at the team facility.

"The virtual offseason really wouldn't have fit the flow of how we operate down there," the veteran linebacker said of the Saints, who have one of the oldest rosters in the NFL. "We don't have a young team. ... He knew with our experience level, the strong leaders we have at each position, that we'd get it done as far as training."

While Davis is eager to play, he said he won't waste time guessing when the season will start.

"The pandemic don't know nothing about football season. The virus ain't just like, 'Oh, football season's coming, let me chill out,'" he said with a laugh. "So I'm going to train and stay in shape because that's just a philosophy of mine -- you stay ready at all times. But I think it's a discredit to people who are on the front lines working, and the people who are being affected by it, when we're just thinking about how fast we can get back to sports."

'Grubby little gym' becomes labor of love

The police officers approached without warning.

Jamie Gillan had been punting on a turf field almost an hour away from his Tremont, Ohio, residence, completely unaware of the state's shelter-in-place orders. With nonessential businesses closed, the Browns punter -- nicknamed "The Scottish Hammer" -- had used local fields to practice his kicking drills. That is, until he was no longer allowed.

"[The officers] were like, 'Yeah man, we want to let you punt. We love the Browns and everything, but it's just the rules,'" the Scotland-born special-teamer explained in his thick brogue.

Faced with the prospect of quarantining alone, Gillan chose to go be with family.

He made trips to the liquor store and the supermarket -- packing his truck with several bottles of bourbon for his father, "120 eggs and 16 racks of bacon" -- and then he and his German shepherd named Bear traveled seven hours to southern Maryland to stay with his parents and 19-year-old sister.

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The rural area around his parents' house affords him space to practice his booming kicks, and there's a "massive" field, owned by a friend, which Gillan uses, too. But the self-described "workout junkie" had to get creative with strength training. Soon his parents' garage became his gym.

Unable to buy equipment online because of limited inventory and "skyrocketing" prices, Gillan purchased old equipment from a local high school: barbells, bumper plates, 40-, 80- and 100-pound dumbbells and bands. He purchased rubber matting from a local tractor store.

He searched Facebook Marketplace for a squat rack, but he and his father, Colin, who is a former rugby player and member of the United Kingdom's Royal Air Force, came up with a better solution -- they would construct their own.

"We came back [from Lowe's], cracked open some beers and just started building it," Gillan said with a chuckle. Even with old, rusty weights, his "grubby little gym" was everything he needed.

Gillan said his resourcefulness was forged during four years playing at Arkansas-Pine Bluff, a historically black university. During offseasons when he and his teammates didn't have access to the gym, their surroundings became their workout room. They bench-pressed and squatted logs, they did dips and pullups on metal bars at local parks, and Gillan hopped fences to punt on neighboring fields when access to their football field was prohibited.

"One thing I notice about a lot of historically black colleges is they're very underfunded," Gillan said, stressing that he and other student-athletes had to be creative. "Maybe it got me prepared for this weird period."

State-of-the-art amenities ease the transition

Blake Martinez's father, Marc, had a master plan: purchase a plot of land 15 minutes from the family home in Tucson, Arizona, and build a facility for his son to train and live. It didn't take long for the idea to become Martinez's reality.

The linebacker thanks his father every day for his ingenuity, as well as his construction company.

The 18,000-square-foot facility -- conceptualized and built last year -- "has everything a football player would need," said Martinez, a 2016 fourth-round draft pick by the Green Bay Packers who signed a three-year, $30 million free-agent contract with the Giants in March.

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The warehouse-looking steel structure contains "a miniature version of a college weight room," a full-length basketball court, a 30-by-15-yard turf field and an outdoor sand volleyball court. It also doubles as a residence, with three bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen on the second level for him, his wife, Kristy, and their young daughter.

"It kept getting better and better as it kept getting built," Martinez said. He works out for two hours in person with his longtime trainer, Glenn Howell, four times a week.

But familiarity with his new franchise is a luxury Martinez, 26, doesn't have.

With New York and New Jersey being one of the epicenters of the coronavirus outbreak in the United States, Martinez doesn't know when he'll be able to travel to the facility or even meet members of the Giants organization for the first time.

"It's not like I've been on the team for a while and I know the guys already. So, it's been tough in that aspect, connecting with guys," he said.

Martinez said the pandemic has taught him "I literally have zero excuses not to show up the first day and make sure I'm 100 percent ready to go and help push all of the younger guys to that level if they haven't gotten there yet."

Making use of California canyons

Golden Tate's stunning San Diego views come at a price.

"I've just got to watch out for rattlesnakes," the Giants wide receiver said with a laugh.

When stay-at-home orders were issued in California in mid-March, Tate took advantage of his surroundings -- namely, the canyon his house is built on.

"It's not the best condition to be running in," admitted the 11-year NFL player, who mowed a 7-by-40-yard patch of grass on a steep incline. "But it'll suffice right now. It's better than doing nothing."

Team work makes the dream work! Uncle @tatethagreat & LoLo helping me get my daily catches in. Hope everyone has a great Friday! #FamilyFriday

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Tate, a married father of two small kids, purchased PowerBlock dumbbells and a Jugs machine from which he catches about 100 balls a day. He bikes at home on his Peloton and uses mountain bike trails for his aerobic conditioning. But finding a flat surface for route running has been a challenge. So, too, is self-discipline.

"Over my career, I'm so used to having someone -- an instructor or the guys around me -- push me. And right now, I'm forced to push myself," said Tate, who turns 32 on Aug. 2.

The veteran receiver played through the 2011 NFL lockout, but he said the coronavirus pandemic is unlike anything he has experienced.

"I feel bad for the first-, second-, third- and fourth-round guys who are expected to come in and help the team right away, but they're not having the same opportunity to grow as a player, not getting those reps on the field," he said.

"The offseason is when you have the time to really focus on the fundamentals of the game, the bigger picture and the details of the game. And it looks like right now we're going to show up for camp -- if we show up for camp -- in the middle of the fire of trying to figure out who's going to make the team and trying to get ready for a season. That can be overwhelming."

Strengths trainers turned investigators

With their players scattered across the country, NFL strength and conditioning coaches feel more like part-time sleuths and office managers than in-person trainers.

"We kind of went more into equipment sales and trying to be a liaison to help guys get set up and make sure they're doing the right thing," said Justus Galac, now in his seventh year as the New York Jets' head strength and conditioning coach. "What we found was, guys in the Southern states and more into the Midwest had more access than our guys in the Northeast and West Coast."

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Strength trainers have been tasked with identifying what their players need from a performance standpoint to achieve their fitness goals, regardless of where they live and what resources they have access to. "Even though they might have access to a Steak 'n Shake parking lot or they might be in a third floor of an apartment," said Justin Lovett, the Los Angeles Rams' new head strength and conditioning coach.

Lovett was hired in the midst of California's coronavirus shutdown, but unlike during the 2011 lockout year, when he was on the Denver Broncos' staff, communication is permitted and has proved paramount. But there have been challenges.

"The biggest problem with the rookie class is they don't have the money that some of the older guys do," Galac said. "Not saying millions of dollars, but able to go buy equipment, pay for a trainer to take care of them, buying more food that you may normally not have to buy because the facility provides it. All those little things are adding up for these guys. And the rookies, they have no idea. And it's not their fault."

This time of year is crucial for strength staffs, not only for getting players in shape but also for getting new players up to speed with their programs. "And we've lost that," Galac said.

In fact, the Jets' weight room underwent a face-lift this offseason, complete with a new floor, turf accents and equipment. "And nobody's using it," Galac said. "It's sitting empty. The players haven't even seen it yet."

Finding space and serenity in the countryside

James Washington misses football. And, occasionally, his farm.

The 26-acre property the Steelers wide receiver purchased near his hometown of Abilene, Texas, made it easy for him to comply with social distancing rules. It also afforded him space to work out and keep in shape by way of chores. Washington, who was an agribusiness major with a concentration in farm and ranch management at Oklahoma State, finds the countryside calming. He enjoys the views of passing cars, wheat fields and cattle pastures during his eight- to 12-mile rides on his recently purchased bicycle.

His workout setup, which included an assortment of resistance bands sent by the Steelers and his high school dumbbells retrieved from his parents' house, was complete with the arrival of a Jugs machine, which he kept in the barn and carried to a flat area in one of the pastures.

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However, staving off boredom is a challenge whenever he's in Pittsburgh, a more crowded city with fewer options for keeping busy.

"When I was in Texas, I'd work out, do my virtual [team] meetings and then I'd have to find something to do cause I can't just sit in the house," Washington said last week, after he, JuJu Smith-Schuster and fellow receiver Ryan Switzer worked out in quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's home weight room. "Being on the farm really helped me a lot, because there was always something that could have been done."

Washington loves his farm so much his recent stay in Pittsburgh was short-lived. He returned to Texas on Wednesday to celebrate Memorial Day weekend with family and tend to his most recent purchase: cattle. The time away from the Steelers' facility has also given Washington time to think.

"It just doesn't feel right," he said. "Everybody feels like we should be at the facility, doing physical stuff, getting ready to go. ... Even if there's no fans, we still have to go out there and just go 110 percent, even if it would feel weird. Fans help make the game. It's really crazy to think about.

"Just being away from things, you really find out how much you miss the sport. It sucks. That's really what I figured out. That I love football." Source - ESPN

[shirlleycoyle]

Meet the Fleshlight Artist Who’s Making Sex Toys Out of Shrek’s Ear

While the rest of the world moved on, the mastermind behind last year's Bug's Life "Heimlich" Fleshlight, Malek Lazri, has spent the year perfecting his craft. 

Since we last spoke in May 2020, Lazri has been busy. He's made more than a dozen character Fleshlights, including a "Mrs. Incrediball Stuck Stepmom” with spandex panty action, the "Shreek Slughole" ear (including a vest "for extra grip" and earwax candle), and the "Cinderelli Ugly Stepsister Glass Slippa Footjob Fleshlight" with chubby toes protruding from the business end.

Yes, all of these are now fully functional and theoretically, fuckable—unlike the original Bug's Life model, which didn't have a hole. 

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"I guess I just figured it was my duty to keep giving people what they wanted," Lazri told me. "The first one was such a big hit, I felt like if I didn't, I'd be missing an opportunity to continue a long line of rare units." 

He made the Heimlich unit from a silicone mold stuffed into a real Fleshlight sleeve, but those tubes start at $70; he said he "reverse engineered" the hard part of the tube, making a mold of it that he could then reproduce into these art pieces. He's also outsourced some of the details, enlisting the help of an airbrush artist who specializes in low riders (and now, knockoff Pixar and Disney sex toys), and his local tailor for some of the more delicate work, such as the tiny red dress for the "Jessica Rabbit 'Patty Cake.'" unit.

"I just thought it was so funny when I brought the tube for reference to the tailor shop, and it's this sweet old woman, you know—I look over at her sewing desk, and there's just like a Fleshlight over there in a sparkly dress." 

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Lazri says he doesn't play favorites, but the Jessica Rabbit one is clearly a labor of love. "That's my low-key crush," he said. "None of them are really sexual to me—it's more about like, a continuation of merchandising, which is already absurd, and this just happens to be the most absurd juxtaposition of a character and an object. But I don't know if I did her justice."

The Mike Wazowski tribute with removable retainer is another he's especially proud of, production-wise. The "Mater Bater," in honor of the tow truck character Mater voiced by Larry the Cable Guy in Pixar's Cars, is a crowd pleaser. People have dueted it on TikTok, generally with aghast reactions. Others downloaded his Mater TikTok and reposted to YouTube, where some have gotten millions of views. 

But Lazri can't post these gifts to humanity on TikTok anymore. He's been banned and unbanned from TikTok several times, with the most recent and seemingly permanent ban happening a month ago, in which the company cited violations of community guidelines. TikTok doesn't allow explicit sexual content, but technically, there's no sexual speech or imagery in the videos (except for Mrs. Incredible's butt, which he admits may have broken that rule); if you don't know what a masturbation sleeve looks like, you might not know what they are. So he's not sure which guidelines he would have violated.

This has mostly been a passion project for Lazri, in addition to some work he's doing in production design. But with the NFT boom this year, he decided to mint a couple of his creations on the blockchain: the Ugly Stepsister slipper, and the original holy grail, the Bug's Life Fleshlight. Both are priced at 2 ETH, or $4,447.08. He made the auction announcement in an Antiques Roadshow spoof video:

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A post shared by malek lazri (@mlazri)

From here, he plans to continue branching out beyond beloved childhood characters to other brands; his homage to Foster's beer, the "Fister's" table-mounted sleeve, "great for the shed or garage," he says in the video, is a glimpse of where he's going next.

"It just came to me so randomly," he said. "I was crushing a can and drinking a Foster's, and I was like wait a second… It's a little too easy." 

Meet the Fleshlight Artist Who’s Making Sex Toys Out of Shrek’s Ear syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[wsmith215]

Driveways, canyons, pools – NFL players create clever workouts

A farm. A field. A canyon. A pool. Even a driveway. As NFL players wait for a return to normalcy before the 2020 regular season begins, they have had to get creative with how and where they train.

The ripple effects of these unprecedented times — nationwide social distancing during the coronavirus pandemic and an unknown timetable for a vaccine — have altered the professional sports landscape, and the NFL is no exception.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell authorized the reopening of all team facilities this week, in accordance with state and local regulations, although coaches and players who are not undergoing rehabilitation are prohibited from entering team buildings. While a handful of clubs took advantage of this allowance, states such as New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Virginia, Michigan, Illinois, Washington and California are still imposing heavier restrictions that affect a dozen team facilities.

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These inconsistent regulations have also changed the responsibilities of NFL strength trainers, who have spent time remotely assessing the workout needs of players, including their access to resources, as well as acting as liaisons for online equipment purchases. NFL teams were permitted to provide each player with up to $1,500 worth of workout equipment. Nevertheless, players have had to find inventive ways to stay in shape.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins uses his parents’ driveway as his outdoor gym. New York Giants wide receiver Golden Tate mowed a track into a steep canyon near his home. Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver James Washington designed a training regimen on his Texas farm. New Orleans Saints linebacker Demario Davis has his personal trainers living with him. Giants linebacker Blake Martinez became the beneficiary of a state-of-the-art gym. And Cleveland Browns punter Jamie Gillan grabbed some beers and built a “grubby” garage gym.

Even though players’ locations, living situations and resources differ, there’s a lesson shared by all: There are no excuses.

Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins says of his training at his parents’ house in Orlando, Florida: “Being out in the driveway, on display for the whole neighborhood to see is probably less than ideal.” ESPNBig-money quarterback staying with parents

The playful jab is uttered without warning, hurled from the driver’s side of a passing vehicle.

“Go Pack, go!”

And in that moment of lighthearted jest, Kirk Cousins can only ignore it. He knows the stop sign in front of the house makes him a sitting duck every morning.

Four times a week, starting promptly at 9 a.m., the Vikings quarterback gathers equipment from the garage and arranges it neatly on the long, curved pavement leading from his parents’ house to the sidewalk. Resting on a wooden chair is his laptop, connected by videoconference to his longtime personal trainer, Chad Cook, who is 450 miles away in Atlanta. This is a glimpse into what constitutes the 2020 NFL offseason.

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“I like my privacy, so being out in the driveway, on display for the whole neighborhood to see is probably less than ideal. But desperate times call for desperate measures,” Cousins said with a smile during a recent ESPN interview. “If it means a guy drives by in a truck and yells, ‘Go Pack, go!’ at me while we’re working out, then so be it.”

The manicured lawns of this Orlando, Florida, suburb serve as a backdrop to Cousins’ regimen and his attempt at normalcy in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.

It’s not a “home gym” by any means, Cousins concedes, but he insists he has everything he needs: a medicine ball, jump-rope, foam rollers, free weights and a football. And, the most essential tool of all: the laptop he uses to connect with Cook.

“[Every car will] see me doing my shuffles across the driveway, or my cariocas, or doing the jump-rope or different plank exercises, core work, medicine ball, lunges — whatever it may be. And different people honk or wave, so it’s kind of fun,” said Cousins, who signed a two-year, $66 million extension with the Vikings in March.

Spotty Wi-Fi is a challenge when working out outdoors, but sheltering in place with his parents was by design: The nine-year veteran and his wife, Julie, now have plenty of reinforcements when it comes to taking care of their sons, Cooper, 2½, and Turner, 1.

“I kind of laugh when I talk about having two like I have 10,” Cousins joked, “because compared to other guys in the league who have three, four, five, six kids, having two is not a big deal.”

Dealing with this adversity has reaffirmed his commitment to his craft. It also taught him that the Public Broadcasting Service can be a football player’s, as well as a father’s, best friend: “‘Daniel Tiger[‘s Neighborhood]’ on PBS can be a lifesaver.”

An underwater workout? Saints linebacker Demario Davis doesn’t bat an eye when his trainers suggest some aqua methods to stay in shape. Courtesy of Demario Davis’Strict training mode’ means living with trainers

The plan was to be in Nashville, Tennessee, for a month, but Demario Davis‘ offseason residence has become his permanent dwelling during the pandemic. His 7,500-square-foot house, purchased last offseason, is a saving grace of sorts, equipped with enough room for his wife, Tamela, and their four children under the age of 6.

And his two personal trainers.

Davis’ trainers, Jose Tienda and Piankhi Gibson, typically work with him in two-to-three-week “strict training mode” spurts before heading back to their respective homes. They’ll return to Nashville soon for another extended stay with Davis.

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As the 31-year-old enters his ninth NFL season — and the final year of his contract — he is determined not to lose ground to a youngster who might be aiming for his spot.

Mid-morning acupuncture and soft tissue work with Tienda give way to afternoon aqua training in a neighbor’s pool with Gibson. Davis pauses for dinner and to help put the kids to bed. But before long, he’s headed back for more body work. He crawls into bed around 12:30 or 1 a.m. on those rigorous training days.

With Louisiana still reeling from 35,316 confirmed COVID-19 cases (and 2,485 reported deaths) as of Thursday, Davis wasn’t surprised Saints coach Sean Payton — who was the first known NFL figure to test positive for the coronavirus — announced there would not be virtual workouts, meetings or workout sessions at the team facility.

“The virtual offseason really wouldn’t have fit the flow of how we operate down there,” the veteran linebacker said of the Saints, who have one of the oldest rosters in the NFL. “We don’t have a young team. … He knew with our experience level, the strong leaders we have at each position, that we’d get it done as far as training.”

While Davis is eager to play, he said he won’t waste time guessing when the season will start.

“The pandemic don’t know nothing about football season. The virus ain’t just like, ‘Oh, football season’s coming, let me chill out,'” he said with a laugh. “So I’m going to train and stay in shape because that’s just a philosophy of mine — you stay ready at all times. But I think it’s a discredit to people who are on the front lines working, and the people who are being affected by it, when we’re just thinking about how fast we can get back to sports.”

Browns punter Jamie Gillan and his father, Colin, constructed a squat rack in the garage. Courtesy of Jamie Gillan’Grubby little gym’ becomes labor of love

The police officers approached without warning.

Jamie Gillan had been punting on a turf field almost an hour away from his Tremont, Ohio, residence, completely unaware of the state’s shelter-in-place orders. With nonessential businesses closed, the Browns punter — nicknamed “The Scottish Hammer” — had used local fields to practice his kicking drills. That is, until he was no longer allowed.

“[The officers] were like, ‘Yeah man, we want to let you punt. We love the Browns and everything, but it’s just the rules,'” the Scotland-born special-teamer explained in his thick brogue.

Faced with the prospect of quarantining alone, Gillan chose to go be with family.

He made trips to the liquor store and the supermarket — packing his truck with several bottles of bourbon for his father, “120 eggs and 16 racks of bacon” — and then he and his German shepherd named Bear traveled seven hours to southern Maryland to stay with his parents and 19-year-old sister.

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The rural area around his parents’ house affords him space to practice his booming kicks, and there’s a “massive” field, owned by a friend, which Gillan uses, too. But the self-described “workout junkie” had to get creative with strength training. Soon his parents’ garage became his gym.

Unable to buy equipment online because of limited inventory and “skyrocketing” prices, Gillan purchased old equipment from a local high school: barbells, bumper plates, 40-, 80- and 100-pound dumbbells and bands. He purchased rubber matting from a local tractor store.

He searched Facebook Marketplace for a squat rack, but he and his father, Colin, who is a former rugby player and member of the United Kingdom’s Royal Air Force, came up with a better solution — they would construct their own.

“We came back [from Lowe’s], cracked open some beers and just started building it,” Gillan said with a chuckle. Even with old, rusty weights, his “grubby little gym” was everything he needed.

Gillan said his resourcefulness was forged during four years playing at Arkansas-Pine Bluff, a historically black university. During offseasons when he and his teammates didn’t have access to the gym, their surroundings became their workout room. They bench-pressed and squatted logs, they did dips and pullups on metal bars at local parks, and Gillan hopped fences to punt on neighboring fields when access to their football field was prohibited.

“One thing I notice about a lot of historically black colleges is they’re very underfunded,” Gillan said, stressing that he and other student-athletes had to be creative. “Maybe it got me prepared for this weird period.”

Taking it up a few notches, Giants linebacker Blake Martinez often escapes to a sports facility his father helped conceptualize and build. Courtesy of Blake MartinezState-of-the-art amenities ease the transition

Blake Martinez‘s father, Marc, had a master plan: purchase a plot of land 15 minutes from the family home in Tucson, Arizona, and build a facility for his son to train and live. It didn’t take long for the idea to become Martinez’s reality.

The linebacker thanks his father every day for his ingenuity, as well as his construction company.

The 18,000-square-foot facility — conceptualized and built last year — “has everything a football player would need,” said Martinez, a 2016 fourth-round draft pick by the Green Bay Packers who signed a three-year, $30 million free-agent contract with the Giants in March.

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The warehouse-looking steel structure contains “a miniature version of a college weight room,” a full-length basketball court, a 30-by-15-yard turf field and an outdoor sand volleyball court. It also doubles as a residence, with three bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen on the second level for him, his wife, Kristy, and their young daughter.

“It kept getting better and better as it kept getting built,” Martinez said. He works out for two hours in person with his longtime trainer, Glenn Howell, four times a week.

But familiarity with his new franchise is a luxury Martinez, 26, doesn’t have.

With New York and New Jersey being one of the epicenters of the coronavirus outbreak in the United States, Martinez doesn’t know when he’ll be able to travel to the facility or even meet members of the Giants organization for the first time.

“It’s not like I’ve been on the team for a while and I know the guys already. So, it’s been tough in that aspect, connecting with guys,” he said.

Martinez said the pandemic has taught him “I literally have zero excuses not to show up the first day and make sure I’m 100 percent ready to go and help push all of the younger guys to that level if they haven’t gotten there yet.”

Making use of California canyons

Golden Tate‘s stunning San Diego views come at a price.

“I’ve just got to watch out for rattlesnakes,” the Giants wide receiver said with a laugh.

When stay-at-home orders were issued in California in mid-March, Tate took advantage of his surroundings — namely, the canyon his house is built on.

“It’s not the best condition to be running in,” admitted the 11-year NFL player, who mowed a 7-by-40-yard patch of grass on a steep incline. “But it’ll suffice right now. It’s better than doing nothing.”

Team work makes the dream work! Uncle @tatethagreat & LoLo helping me get my daily catches in. Hope everyone has a great Friday! 🙌🏽 🏈 #FamilyFriday pic.twitter.com/RtZXRHcygS

— Golden Tate (@ShowtimeTate) May 15, 2020

Tate, a married father of two small kids, purchased PowerBlock dumbbells and a Jugs machine from which he catches about 100 balls a day. He bikes at home on his Peloton and uses mountain bike trails for his aerobic conditioning. But finding a flat surface for route running has been a challenge. So, too, is self-discipline.

“Over my career, I’m so used to having someone — an instructor or the guys around me — push me. And right now, I’m forced to push myself,” said Tate, who turns 32 on Aug. 2.

The veteran receiver played through the 2011 NFL lockout, but he said the coronavirus pandemic is unlike anything he has experienced.

“I feel bad for the first-, second-, third- and fourth-round guys who are expected to come in and help the team right away, but they’re not having the same opportunity to grow as a player, not getting those reps on the field,” he said.

“The offseason is when you have the time to really focus on the fundamentals of the game, the bigger picture and the details of the game. And it looks like right now we’re going to show up for camp — if we show up for camp — in the middle of the fire of trying to figure out who’s going to make the team and trying to get ready for a season. That can be overwhelming.”

Strengths trainers turned investigators

With their players scattered across the country, NFL strength and conditioning coaches feel more like part-time sleuths and office managers than in-person trainers.

“We kind of went more into equipment sales and trying to be a liaison to help guys get set up and make sure they’re doing the right thing,” said Justus Galac, now in his seventh year as the New York Jets’ head strength and conditioning coach. “What we found was, guys in the Southern states and more into the Midwest had more access than our guys in the Northeast and West Coast.”

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Danny Amendola impresses with some nifty, one-handed catches while working out with a helmet on in his backyard.

Strength trainers have been tasked with identifying what their players need from a performance standpoint to achieve their fitness goals, regardless of where they live and what resources they have access to. “Even though they might have access to a Steak ‘n Shake parking lot or they might be in a third floor of an apartment,” said Justin Lovett, the Los Angeles Rams’ new head strength and conditioning coach.

Lovett was hired in the midst of California’s coronavirus shutdown, but unlike during the 2011 lockout year, when he was on the Denver Broncos’ staff, communication is permitted and has proved paramount. But there have been challenges.

“The biggest problem with the rookie class is they don’t have the money that some of the older guys do,” Galac said. “Not saying millions of dollars, but able to go buy equipment, pay for a trainer to take care of them, buying more food that you may normally not have to buy because the facility provides it. All those little things are adding up for these guys. And the rookies, they have no idea. And it’s not their fault.”

This time of year is crucial for strength staffs, not only for getting players in shape but also for getting new players up to speed with their programs. “And we’ve lost that,” Galac said.

In fact, the Jets’ weight room underwent a face-lift this offseason, complete with a new floor, turf accents and equipment. “And nobody’s using it,” Galac said. “It’s sitting empty. The players haven’t even seen it yet.”

Plenty of land and space around James Washington’s home in Abilene, Texas, allows the Steelers receiver the space to work out and social distance at the same time. Courtesy of James WashingtonFinding space and serenity in the countryside

James Washington misses football. And, occasionally, his farm.

The 26-acre property the Steelers wide receiver purchased near his hometown of Abilene, Texas, made it easy for him to comply with social distancing rules. It also afforded him space to work out and keep in shape by way of chores. Washington, who was an agribusiness major with a concentration in farm and ranch management at Oklahoma State, finds the countryside calming. He enjoys the views of passing cars, wheat fields and cattle pastures during his eight- to 12-mile rides on his recently purchased bicycle.

His workout setup, which included an assortment of resistance bands sent by the Steelers and his high school dumbbells retrieved from his parents’ house, was complete with the arrival of a Jugs machine, which he kept in the barn and carried to a flat area in one of the pastures.

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However, staving off boredom is a challenge whenever he’s in Pittsburgh, a more crowded city with fewer options for keeping busy.

“When I was in Texas, I’d work out, do my virtual [team] meetings and then I’d have to find something to do cause I can’t just sit in the house,” Washington said last week, after he, JuJu Smith-Schuster and fellow receiver Ryan Switzer worked out in quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s home weight room. “Being on the farm really helped me a lot, because there was always something that could have been done.”

Washington loves his farm so much his recent stay in Pittsburgh was short-lived. He returned to Texas on Wednesday to celebrate Memorial Day weekend with family and tend to his most recent purchase: cattle. The time away from the Steelers’ facility has also given Washington time to think.

“It just doesn’t feel right,” he said. “Everybody feels like we should be at the facility, doing physical stuff, getting ready to go. … Even if there’s no fans, we still have to go out there and just go 110 percent, even if it would feel weird. Fans help make the game. It’s really crazy to think about.

“Just being away from things, you really find out how much you miss the sport. It sucks. That’s really what I figured out. That I love football.”

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Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM

Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Sweat. Working out is technically an addiction for me (according to some lame article I read), and I guess I do have to be careful with it since I have a history of an eating disorder (who doesnt?). But there is no depression buster as effective for me than exercise. An aerobic workout not only provides an antidepressant effect, but you look pretty stupid lighting up after a run (trust me, I used to do it all the time and the stares werent friendly) or pounding a few beers before the gym. I dont know if its the endorphins or what, but I just thinkeven praymuch better and feel better with sweat dripping down my face. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Start a Project. Heres a valuable tip I learned in the psych wardthe fastest way to get out of your head is to put it in a new projectcompiling a family album, knitting a blanket, coaching Little League, heading a civic association, planning an Earth Day festival, auditioning for the local theatre, taking a course at the community college. I went to Michaels (the arts and crafts store) and bought 20 different kinds of candles to place around the house, five picture boxes for all the loose photos I have bagged underneath the piano, and two dozen frames. Two years later, all of it is still there, bagged and stored in the garage. However, I also signed up for a tennis class, because Im thinking ahead and when the kids go off to college, Eric and I will need another pastime in addition to reading about our kids on Facebook. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Keep a Record. One definition of suffering is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. Its so easy to see this pattern in others: Katherine, for Gods sake, Barbie doesnt fit down in the drain (its not a water slide) or the alcoholic who swears she will be able to control her drinking once she finds the right job. But I can be so blind to my own attempts at disguising self-destructive behavior in a web of lies and rationalizations. Thats why, when Im in enough pain, I write everything downso I can read for myself exactly how I felt after I had lunch with the person who likes to beat me up as a hobby, or after eight weeks of a Marlboro binge, or after two weeks on a Hershey-Starbucks diet. Maybe its the journalist in me, but the case for breaking a certain addiction, or stopping a behavior contributing to depression, is much stronger once you can read the evidence provided from the past. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Be sure to focus on hopeful and positive outcomes. When we think that things will be better as a result of our actions, we are steering our actions toward that eventual outcome. In line with this, we should be sure to focus on the positive aspects of us achieving our short- and long-term goals. This also means taking inventory of our good traits, our skills that have served us well to-date, especially those that have helped us overcome certain difficult challenges. Think, too, about all the good things in our lives, our family and loved ones, our sponsor and fellow group members in the rooms. Life is actually pretty good, if we think about where we are today relative to where we once were in addiction. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Reformulate your statements into hopeful ones. We all have a certain way we talk to ourselves. Some of us refer to it as our inner voice, while others say its how they talk to themselves inside. Whatever you call it, try turning negative self-talk into positive, hopeful statements. If something youre about to attempt or go through has proven tough in the past, or you feel that it will be difficult, tell yourself something along these lines: I know it might be tough, but I also know I can handle it. Giving yourself this mental pep talk can do wonders for how youll approach and handle the situation.

[thehumansymphony]

Hey look a Todd Post!

It’s been a long long time since I made a post like this. I’ve missed it.  This got super duper long so it’s going under a cut:

So yesterday Chorale had its annual Fish Fry fundraiser and nature walk at a local civil war battlefield. So I was there from 10-4 to help set up and cook and then clean and pack away.

It was a lot of fun, despite me getting a mild case of heat exhaustion (which I thankfully recognized the symptoms of very quickly and I was able to take care of myself before it got too bad). 

And then later that night was the Symphony Orchestra doing the Requiem of Resistance in memory of those that were kept and died in the Terezin ghetto (the "clean and civil" nazi) in WWII. They did Verdi's Requiem and had narration that had stories from some of the prisoners of Terezin. It was incredibly moving, especially considering the current political climate.

I'd bought two tickets about 6 weeks ago because I was hoping I could give the extra to todd as a "thank you" for all the tickets he has provided me with. Unfortunately, his dad purchased tickets for the 3 of them shortly after I purchased mine so I was left with an extra ticket. And every time I found someone that wanted to go with me, they had to bail. So I ended up giving the extra ticket to a woman from Chorale.

At the fish fry, as we were cleaning up and loading up his car, todd mentioned that his dad had decided against going to the concert because he wanted to watch a women's basketball game on tv. So todd offered me the seat- which was in a much more accessible part of the auditorium for me than where my seats were- so I texted the woman who was taking my ticket and I offered her both of them. So she found a friend to go with her and I sat with Todd and his mom. And I also hitched a ride there with them since we figured parking was going to be insane.

The concert was pretty nice. Todd and I had both considered singing in the choir they put together (a lot of our friends sang!) but we decided against it when we saw the rehearsal schedule. They'd only meet like 4 times between the beginning of January and the first dress rehearsal which was just not enough. And he and I had been talking about how we really hoped the concert would go well for our friends and that it wouldn't be a disappointment. And it wasn't. It wasn't perfect by any means but it was great and the Chorus managed to hold its own for the most part.

I will admit that as soon as the house lights went out, I started dozing off. The concert was 2 hours long (no intermission) and I dozed through maybe 20 Minutes of soloists... but I always woke up for the Chorus. I was so proud of my people. I managed to find a couple after the concert and congratulate them on a job well done.

One of our friends, my lovely Donna was talking to us about performing. And then she just sighed and smiled at us and asked, “what’s next?”. And Todd tells Donna that we should get her one of the The West Wing Weekly “what’s next” shirts. And Donna needed us to explain what he was talking about- So, Todd and I are both huge fans of The West Wing and the podcast that Josh Molina (Will Bailey) and Hirshi Hirway are doing, The West Wing Weekly. And so Todd explained that the way Josh and Hirshi sign off every episode was:

Todd- “Okay?” Me- “Okay.” Todd- “What’s next?”

And Donna just grinned at us because ofc we’re standing there smiling like dorks after our public display of nerdery.

(Side note 1- TWWW is awesome! If you’re into The West Wing, I highly recommend checking out the podcast.

Side note 2- They have a shirt with the design of the Signal used in the season 1 finale of the show (1.22 What Kind of Day it has Been). The Signal has kind of become Todd’s and my new way of nonverbal reassurance with each other. Because we’re fucking nerds.

Side note 3- I’ve never had a huge interest in getting a tattoo but I keep thinking about getting one that says “What’s Next?” I may need to be talked out of this.)

As we were leaving the concert hall, Todd checked the basketball game's score and the team his family had been rooting for (i want to say FSU but I'm not sure...) had one by a good margin. So Dottie tells Todd (after they both finish cheering in the street) to call Jon and see if he wants to meet us somewhere for a beer (at which point I'm wondering if she forgot that I was in the car too) but alas Todd's father did not feel like leaving the house.

So instead, Dottie suggests that they just go back home and have beer, pretzels (ordered from somewhere in PA because nothing is better than the pretzels from home I've been told), and cheese. So we get back to Todd's and I was gathering me stuff to go to my car and head home (it's like 10:45 at the latest at this point) but Dottie stopped me and Invited me in to join them.

So, naturally, I couldn't turn down the opportunity to hang out with them. And Dottie offered me first pick of the beers in their fridge (all craft beers from different breweries) when I confessed that I normally had todd make recommendations for me. So she opened the fridge and pointed at todd and told him to pick something out for me. So he crouched in front of the fridge for a moment before selecting a pilsner and then he grabbed the appropriate glass from a cabinet and poured it for me. (“No of course we don’t have too many beer glasses what are you talking about?”) And his mom set out some pretzels and cheese and nearly forced the bowl into my hand and told me to help myself.

And then we joined Jon in the living room and watched some coverage on the men's Final Four stuff. After basketball, an episode of Angie Tribeca came on so we watched about 15 minutes of that before Jon went to bed. As soon as he got upstairs, Todd lunged across the coffee table to grab the remote and change the channel while Dottie got up to tidy up a couple of things before also heading up to bed.

Todd flipped around until he came to something showing The Australian Grand Prix.

I've never watched an F1 race before but I knew a lot of the drivers (thank you Top Gear). It was fun. Todd kept doing silly accents to give commentary on the race and I was trying to stifle giggles so I didn't wake up his parents.

They still have their Christmas tree up. (Dottie told me they were hoping to have it down by easter.) I was sitting right in front of it so I was constantly looking at it and the different ornaments. Almost all of them are totally homemade by Todd or one of his parents. I love it so much.

Todd noticed that it was catching my attention so much so he kept coming over to point an ornament out and tell me about it. I'm pretty sure I called him a crafty bastard at some point but I'm not 100%  sure at this point...

I also accidentally verbalized that I liked that his house felt homey. I've thought that since I first went inside his house last year but I've never said it out loud because I'm pretty sure it's a bit weird... and todd gave me a look so I had to try to explain. Some peoples' houses feel like they have no personality- like they just exist to give someone a place to stay and you can't tell that's it's actually a home? But Todd's house has personality. It feels like a home. It's welcoming and warm and makes me feel cozy. I can look at the art around the house and pick out who might have gotten it. So I got through babbling about that and he just gave me this small smile and pointed out some of the art he'd picked out (the architecture prints were kind of a giveaway).

We were still watching the Grand Prix and talking about the history of different aspects of racing. It was really nice???? I never thought I would enjoy watching a race that much but I think watching with Todd just made it really great??

We both knew it was getting late (and I had been zoning out and dozing off for the last hour or so whoops) and I kept saying I was going to get up and head home at every commercial break but then the race would come back and we'd get sucked in again.

Finally, about 1:40, I caught a reflection in the window of Todd's head slowly falling forward. I was trying not to snicker when it finally just FLOPPED all the way down to his chest. He started back awake and I turned to look at him and he was making one of those "did anyone see that?" faces. It was so ridiculously adorable that I couldn't help me smile a little. He saw me looking at him and kind of blushed and ducked his head as he gave me a sheepish grin.

"It's been a little bit of a long day, hasn't it?" I asked, holding up my fingers pinched together.

He copied the gesture and mouthed "a little bit" before he yawned.

So I decided that I really needed to leave before we both fell asleep in his living room. So I finally got myself up and I was grabbing my bowl off the side table when Todd got up to grab my glass. And we went into the kitchen and I was looking at more art that I hadn’t noticed before. So Todd came over and told me about the one I was really focusing on- a wooden block that looks like one of those puzzle cube games. And he told me that it was an architecture school project where they were given X number of wooden blocks in different shapes and sizes and they had to make something from it. And then he pointed out that the art print on the wall behind it was a tessellation of the block. It was just so cool.

And he decided to walk me out so we both stumbled out the front door and down the steps, giggling a little at our exhausted lack of coordination. But we made our way through the garage and out towards the street where I’d parked. And as I turned to leave I was saying that I’d see him on Monday at Community Chorus.

“Yes, Monday. And I’ll be there early because I have rehearsal for Ireland.” *Grimace* “Have they figured out what they’re going to do with those of us who AREN’T going to Ireland? They can’t possibly have us milling about during a rehearsal- it’s too big of a disruption.” “I think that’s exactly the plan.” *Yikes faces from both* then a whispered: “it wasn’t well thought out.” “It certainly doesn’t seem to have been.” “And how am I supposed to sell tickets before rehearsal if I’m in a rehearsal before rehearsal?” “Let me know if you’d like some help. I enjoyed helping with the tickets at UNITY.” “Well, I may have to make use of your services. But this time can we do it without the sprained knee?”

I responded very maturely by blowing a raspberry.

Somehow we got from there to songs that we’d like to do for the summer concert (Theme: A Night at the Movies- songs from the silver screen). We’ve been teasing Todd for the last couple of years that his “small group” is getting closer to being half the Chorale. My first year singing with them, we called it “Todd’s Ten”. Last year we added someone to it so we called it “Todd’s Eleven”. So I asked him if he had any thoughts on what “Todd’s 12, 13, 14…” would be doing.

He has some really great ideas- my favorites right now are “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys and a mashup of “Beyond the Sea” and the song it’s based on, “La Mer”. I adore Beyond the Sea and I’m always excited to do things in French.

And Todd mentioned that he thought it would be nice to make up a group of the younger chorale members (since a majority of our singers are nearing the age for Social Security and retirement). He started listing off some of the singers: “You, Alana, Kelli, Adam, Katie, Me…” I was mildly amused that he was counting himself amongst the younger members since he's always making jokes about getting old and being middle-aged (he turned 37 a few weeks ago). But I remembered that at our cooking class fundraiser last summer, Todd, Katie, and I were sat together. And Chris had made a comment that, as the 3 youngest people there, we were then dubbed “the kids table”. And it’s become a bit of a joke for Todd and I since then. So I suggested that this hypothetical group could call itself The Kid’s Table and Todd laughed. Perhaps a little too hard, as it kind of echoed around the otherwise silent cul-de-sac.

I’m pretty sure we would have chatted a little bit longer had my mother not woken up, realized I wasn’t home, and texted me to ask if I needed a sleeping bag. Which is when I realized it was nearly 2:15am.

I apologized profusely for keeping him up so late but Todd just laughed and assured me that it was totally fine. (Like, my dude, if a friend constantly kept me up way into ridiculous hours I would probably not be that chill about it. And especially not if someone was totally not supposed to hang out at my house until 2-fucking-am. Like there are only maybe 3 or 4 people that I would be cool with doing this.)

But, with this new maternal motivation, I finally made my way all the way to my truck. As I got in I could see Todd in his garage watching to make sure my truck started okay before he shut the door and went back inside.

Honestly, I think that if I hadn’t left when I did, we both would have probably ended up asleep in his living room. And i wonder if we would still have been there in the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every few months or so I’ll think that I’m starting to get over any crush feelings that I still have for him. And then we’ll have time together like this and I’ll just. Kind of fall for him all over again.

It seems like on a weekly basis I’m thanking my lucky stars that I have someone like him in my life. I’m not sure what I’ve done with myself that made the Universe think I was deserving of a friend like him. But I am so, so thankful it did. 

( @ez-miller) 

[bespokekitchesldn]

I Made a Thing… Now What? (Paint Stick Project)

I did a thing. And I also don’t know what to do with it now. Tray? Art? Not sure yet.

It started as a surplus of paint sticks to craft with as a goof while watching TV (crafting keeps my hands busy and mindless snacking to a minimum). I didn’t have a plan, and I was betting on it not really panning out. But as it took shape, I realized it could be used for any number of things: put magnets on the back, hang keys from it with little hooks, make it into a sign, and more…

It seems kind of strange to create something and then have too many options for it, but I basically got it finished up to a point, and can’t make a decision on the last step. So, I’m a little curious: what would you do with it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you want to make this… um… thingie, yourself, what you’ll need is a simple list of supplies (some are affiliates, which help support this site at no cost to you, but the FTC says I gotta share that disclosure with ya first):

Materials

Safety glasses

Pencil

Paint stir sticks

Miter box and saw

Dremel or sandpaper (you could do without, but it makes sanding in the grooves much easier)

Stainable wood glue

Stainable wood filler

Wood Stain (you know I like to mix my own, but I love ZAR products, but modern walnut is a favorite)

Sealer

Trim (I used some pre-primed stuff left over from another project)

White paint

Dealer’s choice: Magnets? Hooks? A small brush to do some hand lettering? A stencil?

Instructions

Because I never expected it to turn into something other than an activity to do while watching TV over the holidays, I didn’t actually have photos of the first few steps (I know, I know… bad blogger!). But it’s probably pretty straightforward just by looking at the pictures I do have (and you can scroll a little further down to step 3 to see the back side).

Step 1 – Gather a heaping pile of 1-gallon paint sticks (you know the kind – the stuff people use for amazing crafts like this). I find that Home Depot is more generous with these than Lowe’s, but that’s just my experience. If you’re like me, you would have gathered them over time from the home improvement store with the intention of doing a completely different (and bigger) project and ran out of steam. Such is the DIY life.

Get bored one night with the desire to make a craft. Maybe you’ve had a beer or two? I don’t know your life. (P.S. Rogue actually sent me a few to “try”… thanks guys!)

Step 2 – Put on safety glasses and sit on your bedroom floor with your supplies, fully aware that you are going to have to clean this up later (but, that’s Sober You’s problem). If you care about it, you might put a sheet or plastic underneath you to prevent stuff from getting into your carpet… because if you wind up sawing paint sticks on the floor, even if you try to be as tidy as possible, you will make a mess.

Step 3 – In my case, I had already cut the ends off of some of the sticks (just to get rid of the handle part) as well as several more at 45-degree angles for the previous project that I abandoned. Since these were unintended leftovers, I just grabbed the wood glue and first made a square frame (sophisticated graphic below for visual help). If you work it so that one end is always the first edge of the next side, it will form a square frame.

Step 4 -To help support the top layer of sticks, add a middle piece to the frame (this one has to be trimmed a little with the miter box before it will fit).

I also added a back piece for extra support for hanging, should I ever decide to hang it.

Since this was the part where I didn’t know if I was making a thing or not, I’ll just show you the back of the frame for reference (which again, sorry… I took pictures once I started to sand and stain in the garage).

Step 5 -Start playing around with placement before gluing, or just begin without a plan; this is not a high-risk project. I wanted lines going at all different angles so just started at a random spot and fanned out from there. To get the right cut, mark things from the back side and cut each piece manually on the miter box. Glue, cut, glue, cut.

  Step 3 – Once the whole piece is filled in, reinforce the back with leftover bits that didn’t make the cut on the front (hopefully, this informs why it looks so weird on the back!). Then, fill in any small gaps with stainable wood filler, let dry, and sand.

Pick a stain, any stain. Then seal.

For a finishing touch, I added some leftover mitered trim to the edge. And voilà: a thing that I don’t know what to do with yet.

I took photos of my project blank, not knowing what to do with it next, but because of the extra piece on the back, I can either hang it on the wall or lay it flat on a table (the trim around the edge is even with the piece on the back so that it won’t wobble). I think I’m going to leave it as-is for now. Plus, the staged photos above will work great as my own personal stock/prop photos if I do a giveaway, etc). Here are my thoughts on other future uses so far:

add magnets to the back to hold items like keys or whatever (similar to how you’d make a magnetic key older like this)

add hooks to hang things and mount on a wall

coat with salad bowl finish to make it food safe, and use it at your next party to display food or as a trivet

add a stencil to the front to make it look more like “art”

add a small mirror to the front and hang

use it as a tray for my jewelry

burn it with fire (no, I’m not actually going to do this, but if I asked 100 people what to do with something that had no intended purpose, at least one person would suggest throwing it away)

Do you have a different suggestion than my list above? I’d love to hear it!

The post I Made a Thing… Now What? (Paint Stick Project) appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

Website // Subscribe // Advertise // Twitter // Facebook // Google+

from The Ugly Duckling House http://www.uglyducklinghouse.com/diy-paint-stick-art-tray/

[garagedoorsbrighton]

I Made a Thing… Now What? (Paint Stick Project)

I did a thing. And I also don’t know what to do with it now. Tray? Art? Not sure yet.

It started as a surplus of paint sticks to craft with as a goof while watching TV (crafting keeps my hands busy and mindless snacking to a minimum). I didn’t have a plan, and I was betting on it not really panning out. But as it took shape, I realized it could be used for any number of things: put magnets on the back, hang keys from it with little hooks, make it into a sign, and more…

It seems kind of strange to create something and then have too many options for it, but I basically got it finished up to a point, and can’t make a decision on the last step. So, I’m a little curious: what would you do with it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you want to make this… um… thingie, yourself, what you’ll need is a simple list of supplies (some are affiliates, which help support this site at no cost to you, but the FTC says I gotta share that disclosure with ya first):

Materials

Safety glasses

Pencil

Paint stir sticks

Miter box and saw

Dremel or sandpaper (you could do without, but it makes sanding in the grooves much easier)

Stainable wood glue

Stainable wood filler

Wood Stain (you know I like to mix my own, but I love ZAR products, but modern walnut is a favorite)

Sealer

Trim (I used some pre-primed stuff left over from another project)

White paint

Dealer’s choice: Magnets? Hooks? A small brush to do some hand lettering? A stencil?

Instructions

Because I never expected it to turn into something other than an activity to do while watching TV over the holidays, I didn’t actually have photos of the first few steps (I know, I know… bad blogger!). But it’s probably pretty straightforward just by looking at the pictures I do have (and you can scroll a little further down to step 3 to see the back side).

Step 1 – Gather a heaping pile of 1-gallon paint sticks (you know the kind – the stuff people use for amazing crafts like this). I find that Home Depot is more generous with these than Lowe’s, but that’s just my experience. If you’re like me, you would have gathered them over time from the home improvement store with the intention of doing a completely different (and bigger) project and ran out of steam. Such is the DIY life.

Get bored one night with the desire to make a craft. Maybe you’ve had a beer or two? I don’t know your life. (P.S. Rogue actually sent me a few to “try”… thanks guys!)

Step 2 – Put on safety glasses and sit on your bedroom floor with your supplies, fully aware that you are going to have to clean this up later (but, that’s Sober You’s problem). If you care about it, you might put a sheet or plastic underneath you to prevent stuff from getting into your carpet… because if you wind up sawing paint sticks on the floor, even if you try to be as tidy as possible, you will make a mess.

Step 3 – In my case, I had already cut the ends off of some of the sticks (just to get rid of the handle part) as well as several more at 45-degree angles for the previous project that I abandoned. Since these were unintended leftovers, I just grabbed the wood glue and first made a square frame (sophisticated graphic below for visual help). If you work it so that one end is always the first edge of the next side, it will form a square frame.

Step 4 -To help support the top layer of sticks, add a middle piece to the frame (this one has to be trimmed a little with the miter box before it will fit).

I also added a back piece for extra support for hanging, should I ever decide to hang it.

Since this was the part where I didn’t know if I was making a thing or not, I’ll just show you the back of the frame for reference (which again, sorry… I took pictures once I started to sand and stain in the garage).

Step 5 -Start playing around with placement before gluing, or just begin without a plan; this is not a high-risk project. I wanted lines going at all different angles so just started at a random spot and fanned out from there. To get the right cut, mark things from the back side and cut each piece manually on the miter box. Glue, cut, glue, cut.

  Step 3 – Once the whole piece is filled in, reinforce the back with leftover bits that didn’t make the cut on the front (hopefully, this informs why it looks so weird on the back!). Then, fill in any small gaps with stainable wood filler, let dry, and sand.

Pick a stain, any stain. Then seal.

For a finishing touch, I added some leftover mitered trim to the edge. And voilà: a thing that I don’t know what to do with yet.

I took photos of my project blank, not knowing what to do with it next, but because of the extra piece on the back, I can either hang it on the wall or lay it flat on a table (the trim around the edge is even with the piece on the back so that it won’t wobble). I think I’m going to leave it as-is for now. Plus, the staged photos above will work great as my own personal stock/prop photos if I do a giveaway, etc). Here are my thoughts on other future uses so far:

add magnets to the back to hold items like keys or whatever (similar to how you’d make a magnetic key older like this)

add hooks to hang things and mount on a wall

coat with salad bowl finish to make it food safe, and use it at your next party to display food or as a trivet

add a stencil to the front to make it look more like “art”

add a small mirror to the front and hang

use it as a tray for my jewelry

burn it with fire (no, I’m not actually going to do this, but if I asked 100 people what to do with something that had no intended purpose, at least one person would suggest throwing it away)

Do you have a different suggestion than my list above? I’d love to hear it!

The post I Made a Thing… Now What? (Paint Stick Project) appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

Website // Subscribe // Advertise // Twitter // Facebook // Google+

from The Ugly Duckling House http://www.uglyducklinghouse.com/diy-paint-stick-art-tray/

[noambouzaglou-blog]

I Made a Thing… Now What? (Paint Stick Project)

I did a thing. And I also don’t know what to do with it now. Tray? Art? Not sure yet.

It started as a surplus of paint sticks to craft with as a goof while watching TV (crafting keeps my hands busy and mindless snacking to a minimum). I didn’t have a plan, and I was betting on it not really panning out. But as it took shape, I realized it could be used for any number of things: put magnets on the back, hang keys from it with little hooks, make it into a sign, and more…

It seems kind of strange to create something and then have too many options for it, but I basically got it finished up to a point, and can’t make a decision on the last step. So, I’m a little curious: what would you do with it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you want to make this… um… thingie, yourself, what you’ll need is a simple list of supplies (some are affiliates, which help support this site at no cost to you, but the FTC says I gotta share that disclosure with ya first):

Materials

Safety glasses

Pencil

Paint stir sticks

Miter box and saw

Dremel or sandpaper (you could do without, but it makes sanding in the grooves much easier)

Stainable wood glue

Stainable wood filler

Wood Stain (you know I like to mix my own, but I love ZAR products, but modern walnut is a favorite)

Sealer

Trim (I used some pre-primed stuff left over from another project)

White paint

Dealer’s choice: Magnets? Hooks? A small brush to do some hand lettering? A stencil?

Instructions

Because I never expected it to turn into something other than an activity to do while watching TV over the holidays, I didn’t actually have photos of the first few steps (I know, I know… bad blogger!). But it’s probably pretty straightforward just by looking at the pictures I do have (and you can scroll a little further down to step 3 to see the back side).

Step 1 – Gather a heaping pile of 1-gallon paint sticks (you know the kind – the stuff people use for amazing crafts like this). I find that Home Depot is more generous with these than Lowe’s, but that’s just my experience. If you’re like me, you would have gathered them over time from the home improvement store with the intention of doing a completely different (and bigger) project and ran out of steam. Such is the DIY life.

Get bored one night with the desire to make a craft. Maybe you’ve had a beer or two? I don’t know your life. (P.S. Rogue actually sent me a few to “try”… thanks guys!)

Step 2 – Put on safety glasses and sit on your bedroom floor with your supplies, fully aware that you are going to have to clean this up later (but, that’s Sober You’s problem). If you care about it, you might put a sheet or plastic underneath you to prevent stuff from getting into your carpet… because if you wind up sawing paint sticks on the floor, even if you try to be as tidy as possible, you will make a mess.

Step 3 – In my case, I had already cut the ends off of some of the sticks (just to get rid of the handle part) as well as several more at 45-degree angles for the previous project that I abandoned. Since these were unintended leftovers, I just grabbed the wood glue and first made a square frame (sophisticated graphic below for visual help). If you work it so that one end is always the first edge of the next side, it will form a square frame.

Step 4 -To help support the top layer of sticks, add a middle piece to the frame (this one has to be trimmed a little with the miter box before it will fit).

I also added a back piece for extra support for hanging, should I ever decide to hang it.

Since this was the part where I didn’t know if I was making a thing or not, I’ll just show you the back of the frame for reference (which again, sorry… I took pictures once I started to sand and stain in the garage).

Step 5 -Start playing around with placement before gluing, or just begin without a plan; this is not a high-risk project. I wanted lines going at all different angles so just started at a random spot and fanned out from there. To get the right cut, mark things from the back side and cut each piece manually on the miter box. Glue, cut, glue, cut.

Step 3 – Once the whole piece is filled in, reinforce the back with leftover bits that didn’t make the cut on the front (hopefully, this informs why it looks so weird on the back!). Then, fill in any small gaps with stainable wood filler, let dry, and sand.

Pick a stain, any stain. Then seal.

For a finishing touch, I added some leftover mitered trim to the edge. And voilà: a thing that I don’t know what to do with yet.

I took photos of my project blank, not knowing what to do with it next, but because of the extra piece on the back, I can either hang it on the wall or lay it flat on a table (the trim around the edge is even with the piece on the back so that it won’t wobble). I think I’m going to leave it as-is for now. Plus, the staged photos above will work great as my own personal stock/prop photos if I do a giveaway, etc). Here are my thoughts on other future uses so far:

add magnets to the back to hold items like keys or whatever (similar to how you’d make a magnetic key older like this)

add hooks to hang things and mount on a wall

coat with salad bowl finish to make it food safe, and use it at your next party to display food or as a trivet

add a stencil to the front to make it look more like “art”

add a small mirror to the front and hang

use it as a tray for my jewelry

burn it with fire (no, I’m not actually going to do this, but if I asked 100 people what to do with something that had no intended purpose, at least one person would suggest throwing it away)

Do you have a different suggestion than my list above? I’d love to hear it!

The post I Made a Thing… Now What? (Paint Stick Project) appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

Website // Subscribe // Advertise // Twitter // Facebook // Google+

I Made a Thing… Now What? (Paint Stick Project) published first on https://noambouzaglou.wordpress.com/

[healthnotion]

15 Homemade Gifts You Can Make in an Hour or Less

Anyone can open their wallet and plop down cash for a nice present. But the gifts that mean the most are the ones people make for you; knowing someone spent their time crafting something just for you is truly special.

Plus, in a very consumeristic culture, many homemade gifts can be made on the cheap and help you cross numerous people off your list without going into debt.

But maybe you think you’ve waited too long to figure out what you’re getting for friends and family, and don’t have time to make your own gifts for them. Good news — you do if you choose one of the 15 DIY gift ideas below.

Each of these “projects” is easy to do and requires just an hour or less in active time. Keep in mind that some of the projects may require some additional non-active time (like for letting infused vodkas steep or candles sit overnight to harden), as well as supplies that may need to be ordered ahead of time (many of which are available on Amazon Prime for 2-day shipping). 

While the items on the list are largely aimed at male recipients, some can be enjoyed by the ladies as well. So if you’re in need of an inexpensive, last-minute gift idea, choose an option or two, and whip up some thoughtful, homemade presents for all the deserving people in your life. 

Spice Blend/BBQ Rub

Cooking outside is one of the great pleasures in life — especially when your grub turns out savory and delicious. While salt and pepper are often all you need to grill a great meat, you can enhance the outdoor cooking experience by using personally created spice blends that will become signature flavor profiles in your home. If your friends have praised your BBQ pork butt, and wanted to know your secret spice rub, gift it to them for Christmas. 

BBQ Sauce

While a good BBQ spice rub (see above) is usually more important to achieving lip-smacking taste, many backyard grilling enthusiasts also love to slather a sauce on their fire-cooked meats. Be it as a marinade or a sandwich topping, the right sauce can really enhance the flavor of just about any of your BBQ favorites. Pre-bottled sauces are alright, but take your pal’s grilling up a notch by gifting any of these 3 homemade BBQ sauces. 

Six-Pack Pocket Notebook 

The benefits of a pocket notebook are numerous, as are the number of great men who’ve utilized them. This project is cost-effective, only takes about 20 minutes, and allows for ample personalization for the fellow you’re making these for. Pick a favorite brew or craft soda, and turn it into a handy-dandy notebook that actually fits in a back pocket.

No-Sew Pocket Square

Every suit needs a pocket square. It helps a gentleman add some personality to his style. They can get expensive, though, costing anywhere from $10-$30. Isn’t it just a piece of fabric? Indeed it is! Which is why you can make your own handsome pocket square for a fraction of that. And there’s no sewing required, to boot! The secret? Hem tape. With some cheap hem tape and an iron, turn any square of fabric into a pocket square for the dapper gent in your life.

Container Candle

Candles can add a masculine or romantic ambiance (depending on what you’re going for) to any room, and can truly be very meditative and thought-provoking. The downside, though, is that they’re dang expensive. A high-quality 6oz candle can run you $20-$30, and even more if it has a luxury or “artisanal” brand name attached to it.

Homemade candles, on the other hand, cost just a few bucks each, smell and burn just as well as the expensive ones, and make for a fairly easy project that can be done in around an hour of active time (though it takes from a few hours to overnight for the wax to fully settle). They make for great additions to a workspace or den, and fit nicely into any stocking!

Book Clock

From pocket watches to grandfather clocks, men have long held a fascination with keeping time in stylish and classic ways. What better way to do so than turning a handsome hardcover book into a working clock? Coming in at around $10, this makes for a great DIY Christmas gift for a fella to decorate an apartment or man room with.

Bottle Drinking Glass

If you enjoy craft beer, what better way to imbibe than out of a drinking glass made from your favorite brew bottle? What’s great about this project is how versatile it is. Use 12oz bottles to create a set of tasting glasses, use 22oz bottles to make more of a standard tumbler, or even use mini bottles as shot glasses. It’s cheap, fast, and uses items that can be found in most households. And did I mention you get to play with fire?

Beard Oil

Just as the hair on one’s head needs to be taken care of, so does the hair on one’s face. While beard oil can be found at many men’s grooming shops and online just about everywhere, it’s spendy. You’re looking at paying between $10-$20 for a 1-2 oz. bottle (you only use a few drops at a time). While that amount will last awhile, you can make it on your own a little more cost effectively, and even concoct your own holiday-themed recipes. While the startup costs are similar to buying a bottle or two, you’ll get at least a dozen bottles from your DIY supplies, and get to easily cross the names of all your bearded brethren off your shopping list.

Flavored Toothpicks

While chewing on toothpicks is enjoyable on its own, you can make it an even better experience by flavoring them. While flavored toothpicks have started to show up in retail environments, they’re going to be far more expensive than just making them at home. Makes for an excellent stocking stuffer. 

Wooden Bottle Opener

These handsome and rustic handmade bottle openers make great gifts for the craft beer or soda connoisseur in your life. Not only do they open bottles, but thanks to an embedded magnet they even catch your bottle cap as you remove it and stick to your fridge for easy access. You could easily make one out of scrap wood that you have lying around the garage or shop — this is a truly frugal crowd-pleaser.

Beef Jerky

Beef jerky is a great manly stocking stuffer. Homemade beef jerky is even better. Check out this recipe from Tim Ferriss on how to make the best beef jerky in the world. Experiment with different spices to create a unique flavor perfect for your recipient’s palate.

Altoids Tin Kits

The draw of the transformed Altoids tin is hard to put your finger on. Part of it is the satisfying challenge of fitting as much as possible into a small space. Part of it is the delight of being able to carry something cool in your pocket. No matter what it is that makes for the allure of a re-used Altoids tin, there are fortunately a ton of ways to channel it, including the 22 we outline here. Any of the kits on that list would make an awesome gift or stocking stuffer. My favorite is the survival kit pictured above. As a bonus, most kits only require assembling supplies — no skill needed!

Roasted Coffee

For the coffee connoisseur, this is one of the best gifts you can give. Buying some green beans from a local roastery or online is often cheaper than buying coffee at the grocery store. Plus, this is just about guaranteed to be the best coffee your recipient will ever drink. Might take a couple tries to get the roasting done just right, but even then your total time investment is under an hour. 

Vodka Infusion

Flavored liquors have been around a long time. But they can be spendy, and the flavors are obviously limited to what you’ll find in the store. With a DIY infusion, the flavors are limited only by your imagination — and willingness to try quirky new things. 

Vodka is the ideal spirit for making infusions, and a single 1.75L bottle will net you a few 375ml gifting bottles to give out. You can either make unique flavors for each person you’re gifting to, or make a big batch of a single flavor each year that everyone gets. Either way, this is a project that’s just as fun to make as it is to give. 

All-in-One Cocktail Kit

In recent years, pre-packaged travel cocktail kits have emerged which allow people to mix up their favorite drinks when they’re cruising at 35,000 feet. But they’re quite overpriced, and only offer the ingredients for a single kind of cocktail. So instead of buying the retail version, make a DIY all-in-one kit that contains just about everything your recipient would need to make a variety of in-flight drinks. From Gin & Tonics, to Old Fashioneds, to Hot Toddys, this kit does it all.  

The post 15 Homemade Gifts You Can Make in an Hour or Less appeared first on The Art of Manliness.

15 Homemade Gifts You Can Make in an Hour or Less published first on https://mensproblem.tumblr.com

[jessicagrayposts-blog]

Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM

Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Sweat. Working out is technically an addiction for me (according to some lame article I read), and I guess I do have to be careful with it since I have a history of an eating disorder (who doesnt?). But there is no depression buster as effective for me than exercise. An aerobic workout not only provides an antidepressant effect, but you look pretty stupid lighting up after a run (trust me, I used to do it all the time and the stares werent friendly) or pounding a few beers before the gym. I dont know if its the endorphins or what, but I just thinkeven praymuch better and feel better with sweat dripping down my face. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Start a Project. Heres a valuable tip I learned in the psych wardthe fastest way to get out of your head is to put it in a new projectcompiling a family album, knitting a blanket, coaching Little League, heading a civic association, planning an Earth Day festival, auditioning for the local theatre, taking a course at the community college. I went to Michaels (the arts and crafts store) and bought 20 different kinds of candles to place around the house, five picture boxes for all the loose photos I have bagged underneath the piano, and two dozen frames. Two years later, all of it is still there, bagged and stored in the garage. However, I also signed up for a tennis class, because Im thinking ahead and when the kids go off to college, Eric and I will need another pastime in addition to reading about our kids on Facebook. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Keep a Record. One definition of suffering is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. Its so easy to see this pattern in others: Katherine, for Gods sake, Barbie doesnt fit down in the drain (its not a water slide) or the alcoholic who swears she will be able to control her drinking once she finds the right job. But I can be so blind to my own attempts at disguising self-destructive behavior in a web of lies and rationalizations. Thats why, when Im in enough pain, I write everything downso I can read for myself exactly how I felt after I had lunch with the person who likes to beat me up as a hobby, or after eight weeks of a Marlboro binge, or after two weeks on a Hershey-Starbucks diet. Maybe its the journalist in me, but the case for breaking a certain addiction, or stopping a behavior contributing to depression, is much stronger once you can read the evidence provided from the past. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Be sure to focus on hopeful and positive outcomes. When we think that things will be better as a result of our actions, we are steering our actions toward that eventual outcome. In line with this, we should be sure to focus on the positive aspects of us achieving our short- and long-term goals. This also means taking inventory of our good traits, our skills that have served us well to-date, especially those that have helped us overcome certain difficult challenges. Think, too, about all the good things in our lives, our family and loved ones, our sponsor and fellow group members in the rooms. Life is actually pretty good, if we think about where we are today relative to where we once were in addiction. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Reformulate your statements into hopeful ones. We all have a certain way we talk to ourselves. Some of us refer to it as our inner voice, while others say its how they talk to themselves inside. Whatever you call it, try turning negative self-talk into positive, hopeful statements. If something youre about to attempt or go through has proven tough in the past, or you feel that it will be difficult, tell yourself something along these lines: I know it might be tough, but I also know I can handle it. Giving yourself this mental pep talk can do wonders for how youll approach and handle the situation.

[diana-miller1-blog]

Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM

Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Sweat. Working out is technically an addiction for me (according to some lame article I read), and I guess I do have to be careful with it since I have a history of an eating disorder (who doesnt?). But there is no depression buster as effective for me than exercise. An aerobic workout not only provides an antidepressant effect, but you look pretty stupid lighting up after a run (trust me, I used to do it all the time and the stares werent friendly) or pounding a few beers before the gym. I dont know if its the endorphins or what, but I just thinkeven praymuch better and feel better with sweat dripping down my face. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Start a Project. Heres a valuable tip I learned in the psych wardthe fastest way to get out of your head is to put it in a new projectcompiling a family album, knitting a blanket, coaching Little League, heading a civic association, planning an Earth Day festival, auditioning for the local theatre, taking a course at the community college. I went to Michaels (the arts and crafts store) and bought 20 different kinds of candles to place around the house, five picture boxes for all the loose photos I have bagged underneath the piano, and two dozen frames. Two years later, all of it is still there, bagged and stored in the garage. However, I also signed up for a tennis class, because Im thinking ahead and when the kids go off to college, Eric and I will need another pastime in addition to reading about our kids on Facebook. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Keep a Record. One definition of suffering is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. Its so easy to see this pattern in others: Katherine, for Gods sake, Barbie doesnt fit down in the drain (its not a water slide) or the alcoholic who swears she will be able to control her drinking once she finds the right job. But I can be so blind to my own attempts at disguising self-destructive behavior in a web of lies and rationalizations. Thats why, when Im in enough pain, I write everything downso I can read for myself exactly how I felt after I had lunch with the person who likes to beat me up as a hobby, or after eight weeks of a Marlboro binge, or after two weeks on a Hershey-Starbucks diet. Maybe its the journalist in me, but the case for breaking a certain addiction, or stopping a behavior contributing to depression, is much stronger once you can read the evidence provided from the past. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Be sure to focus on hopeful and positive outcomes. When we think that things will be better as a result of our actions, we are steering our actions toward that eventual outcome. In line with this, we should be sure to focus on the positive aspects of us achieving our short- and long-term goals. This also means taking inventory of our good traits, our skills that have served us well to-date, especially those that have helped us overcome certain difficult challenges. Think, too, about all the good things in our lives, our family and loved ones, our sponsor and fellow group members in the rooms. Life is actually pretty good, if we think about where we are today relative to where we once were in addiction. Marijuana Addiction Rehab Centers Espaola NM. Reformulate your statements into hopeful ones. We all have a certain way we talk to ourselves. Some of us refer to it as our inner voice, while others say its how they talk to themselves inside. Whatever you call it, try turning negative self-talk into positive, hopeful statements. If something youre about to attempt or go through has proven tough in the past, or you feel that it will be difficult, tell yourself something along these lines: I know it might be tough, but I also know I can handle it. Giving yourself this mental pep talk can do wonders for how youll approach and handle the situation.