#doggy is happy Master is home

[anemic-cinema]

"Hooray!!! Master has returned!!!!!!!!"

[toxicanonymity]

Silence can never be bought, only rented

Part 1 of 6, 1.3k | dbf!Joel x f!eader | NSFW 18+

Next: PART 2 / Story Master List

SUMMARY: You come home from campus one weekend and catch your dad’s friend Joel in bed with your stepmother. 

WARNINGS: I8+ Joel PiV w/ someone else (before you're involved at all). Accidental voyeurism, exhibitionism by opportunity. Joel mentally cucks her w/ you.

It’s dark, but you still catch quite an eyeful when you approach the bedroom and the door is wide open.  They’re doing it doggy style on the bed,  facing the window.  In full view of the door.  Joel is buck naked.  He’s always been burly, but you still didn’t quite imagine what was under his flannels all these years.   He scowls and grunts as his massive hands hold onto her hips and his pale asscheeks flex powerfully.  

Your dad is leading a special military training exercise in an undisclosed location.  He always tells you to call Joel if you need anything while he’s away.  He knows how you feel about your stepmom.  She’s only 10 years older than you and got together with your dad when she was your age.  Your dad is no angel, but you’re protective of him, and you’ve had your suspicions about his young bride.   So when you come home that night and Joel’s truck is in the driveway, you deliberately park in front of the neighbor’s yard and enter your house very quietly.  Luckily for you, Joel’s hearing is bad, but you sneak around anyway. You can hear the mattress and the slap of skin down the hall.  Then, your stepmother makes the porniest moan, making you gag. 

When your shadow slowly approaches in the moonlight, he looks toward the bedroom door and does a double take.   You flash your eyebrows but don’t make a peep.   And when he sees you, he doesn’t stop.  He keeps railing her.   He slows down, and she whines.  

Then, he makes eye contact with you, looks you up and down, and starts fucking her harder.  God, what a pervert.   Not to be intimidated, you stand there and watch him finish.  You lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms and ankles, taking in every detail.  At least he’s wearing a rubber.   Before he comes, he pulls almost all the way out and looks down at himself, then back up at you, almost like he wants you to know he’s hung.  He slams her back on his cock with a grunt and she moans as he empties his balls, his eyes still locked on yours.  

-

You slink outside and sit in your car for a minute, thinking.  You park in front of your house as if you’re just arriving.  You leave a note on Joel’s truck, then come in through the front door, noisily.  

Then you call, “Uncle Joel? Are you here?”  You smile to yourself and wait.  You never call him that, but it’s how your dad always used to refer to him.  Then you add, “I thought you were gonna meet me there. . .”

“Just a sec,” he yells. 

You overhear your stepmom ask him, “You were going to what?” 

Joel says something inaudible. 

“Meet her where?”

Oh, this is going to be fun.  You grab a drink from the fridge and sit down at the kitchen table while they both come downstairs.  You greet him with a kiss on the cheek.  

“The toilet upstairs wasn’t working,” your stepmom says, still disheveled and proud of her lie.  

You nod and smile. “Yeah, Dad warned me,” you lie.  She seems to think she lucked out with a coincidence.  She’s that dumb.  

“Are you done?” you ask Joel. 

“Uh,” he pauses in thought. 

“Fixing the toilet,” you say.  

“Yeah, good to go,” he says with a glance toward her. 

“Thanks,” you beam.  “Dad will be happy.”   

You get up and give him a big hug, then hold eye contact as you break away.  

Your stepmom looks back and forth between the two of you.  

“Shall we?” you ask him.  

“Um, yeah,” he shoves his hands in his pockets and looks at her nervously as he grabs his keys from the key hook.  “Let me know if it gives you any more trouble,” he says to her.   She looks so pissed, you have to suppress your smirk.  

You need to think this over.  You aren’t ready to talk to Joel.  On your way out, you text your high school friend about staying at her place for the night since you already drove all the way here.  

-

Joel jogs to your car to catch up with you.  His cheeks are still flushed.  

“Where are we going?” he asks stupidly. 

You laugh. 

“Don’t you wanna talk?” he adds, hovering near your driver’s side door as you unlock it.   He looks somewhere between annoyed and bemused, which pisses you off. He should be afraid for you to tell your dad.  

You close your door, stand against the car, and grab both sides of his unbuttoned flannel shirt, assuming your stepmom is still watching.  You pull him into you, then wrap your arms around his waist until you feel him harden against your jeans and he inhales your hair deeply, sending a warm rush to your core.  

Then, you put your arms around his neck, and his hands loosely graze your waist. 

You say softly in his ear, “Go home, Joel.” 

You get in your car and look up at the house just in time to see your stepmom’s silhouette retreat from the front window. 

Joel runs his hands through his hair and walks to his truck.  

He takes your note off the window and opens it: You’re sick.   

-

You go to your friend’s house and watch horror movies.  She goes to community college and lives in her parents’ basement.  She’s so happy to see you, she wishes you would come home more.  You can stay with her any time.  

Joel calls you and you send it to voicemail.  He texts you, too.  He says he’s done with her, doesn’t care, that he’ll break it off tomorrow.  You don’t answer.  

You have a lot of thoughts and feelings, but you keep coming back to the hardness in his jeans pressing against you.  You don’t want to think about it.  He’s been fucking your stepmother and that’s gross.  You try to put it out of your mind, but the feeling stays between your legs.  You pinch your eyes shut and shake your head, you just see his eyes roving you hungrily as he fucks her.  Sick.  Really sick.  And yet, your panties are so moist.

-

You decide to go back home the next day to see if you can tell whether Joel has really broken it off.  Your stepmother says it’s such a nice surprise to see you.  You skeptically ask why it’s a surprise, since she knows you’re in town.  She shrugs and asks if you want something to eat.  She’s looking at you differently.  She keeps looking at you up and down.  

You return the look and ask, “What?”

She asks if you had a nice time last night. 

“Yeah, we did . . . did you?” 

She smiles and nods,  “Yeah.” 

She mentions the toilet is acting up again and you silently seethe. He not only hasn’t broken it off, but he’s coming over?  There’s almost something smug about the way she says it, too.  You offer to look at the toilet yourself.  She says Joel is already on his way. 

His truck pulls up, then your phone dings.

Joel:  Wanna give us some privacy?

You:  I dunno, what are you gonna do with it? 

Joel: I told you, I’m ending it.  

You: Ever heard of a phone call? 

Your phone keeps dinging and you ignore it.  

“That must be him,” she says.  She calls him and asks him if he’s there.  

He comes in and looks salty.  She takes his jacket.  

“Actually, I’m gonna borrow this,” you say on impulse and grab it from her on your way out.  “I’ll give it back later,” you tell him, looking over your shoulder. 

Why does he wear his jeans so tight, you wonder.  

You text him from your car, “I’m not leaving the neighborhood,” but then you do. You go back to your friend’s house.  

He calls you 15 minutes later and you ignore it.  He texts you, and you ignore it.  You let him squirm.

You decide you'll keep his jacket and take it back to campus with you.

-

PART 2

master list

[lexithwrites]

Remus/james/sirius please???

Nswf hcs????

Maybe both rich ass james and rich ass sirius spoiling the fuck out of remus

i was gonna give this loads of background but lets get straight to the fucking—depending on the mood, james is usually the switch/verse brat, sirius is the top and remus is the bottom

james loves teasing his partners, he loves kissing their hands, making them blush, keeping eye contact whilst trailing his fingers over the back of their hands, he's a master at this

sirius is more direct, he'll smack their asses and tug their hair back to kiss him and he's all cocky smiles and winks

and then remus is forever the flustered, panting, desperate man he always will be, and he loves it

james is usually trying to get remus to act bratty too but remus is too good for that, so sirius gets him to blow james whilst sirius is holding his arms back and sucking at his neck, tugging his hair, biting his shoulder and dragging his fingers down his chest

and then sometimes sirius will buy some expensive sex toy to try out and he'll have remus use it on james just so he can watch, i think he's a bit of a voyeur honestly

remus is v good at riding, i think when he's up for it and his knees dont ache he can move his hips really slow and rythmically and sirius or james are just staring in awe and trying not to cum too soon

james is probably at his best in doggy or missionary, staring up at whoever is fucking him and grinning or begging for them to go harder

sirius usually doesn't bottom with them so he's happy on top, seeing his boys writhe and moan and whimper and beg and smile and cry out in pleasure for him

plus if they're both sugar daddies for remus they probably have the nicest penthouse apartment around and like fucking against the huge glass windows or on the balcony for the thrill of it

they wine and dine remus to get him relaxed and flustered for them, and when he's REALLY horny he'll kiss their necks and squeeze their thighs in the taxi home and james and sirius just smile at each other as they're worshipped

[m-ayo-o]

he loves to see you…

18+ // explicit sex // characters 21+ // ft. jjk content includes... general filth, like, just... ugh [tw: "master"]

smiling

Satoru wants you on top, he doesn't mind giving you a hand. Just loves to see you bouncing on him, leaning up to suck on your nipples.

He loves seeing your perky tits and pretty face, enjoying yourself, riding him with a giddy smile. Loves knowing that you're so happy because of him. Cums when he bucks his hips up, making you bounce and let out a cute surprised giggle of his name, clinging to the headboard.

swallowing

Toji wants you bent over or bent in half. He asks openly for your dirty underwear so he can get off while you're not home. He loves you needy, horny and begging, especially when you initiate- finds you very amusing and cute.

If he's impatient for you it'll be straight to doggy. He’ll pin you down and push your legs back if he’s in a more intimate, romantic mood.

He'll tell you to open your mouth only for him to release a string of spit onto your tongue. Of all the filthy scenarios that get Toji cumming, watching his girl lick up and swallow his saliva is getting him off today.

talking

Kento loves taking you over his office desk and loves to spoil you rotten. Any time he catches you dropping lunch in for him at reception, he takes you upstairs.

Your voice makes him so weak, you're just chatting and he's getting turned on. Has you bent over in that cute skirt he got you last week as you let out soft “thank yous” and “yesyes daddys”

Needs you to be nice and loud, despite only being a door away from his colleagues while he fucks you brainless. Cums when you tell him “I love you Kento–!” then takes his lunch break with you in the park.

restrained

Megumi is an intense man. He teases you for ages, all day if he can; making you beg, whine and choke, biting, spanking and edging you until you can't take it anymore, then ties you up and calls you pretty.

He doesn't degrade you or do anything too dirty- he'll leave that stuff for daddy. He just needs a little gag in your mouth, your arms behind your back, legs open. Holding onto the rope while he fucks you will make him cum hard.

full

Yuji needs to see you pushed back in a mating press, full of his thick cum with your eyes rolling back. He loves watching it leak out of you, his mouth hanging open as he fingers the liquid back in, getting him hard again in seconds.

His fat cock twitches as he begs to fuck you again so he can “keep the cum inside” leading to him filling you up once more, till you’re overflowing. Eating you out “to clean you” as he fucks the mattress will make him cum for the third time.

crying

Sukuna loves when his sweet girl is groveling at his feet, as everybody should. He prefers you begging stripped, a thick dildo inside you, wrists bound, pleading, “Sukuna– master, p-please–”

He needs to see your pained expression as he replaces the dildo with his fatter cock. Loves using you till you let out cute cries of “s'too much” and “it huuurtsss” like this isn't what you were just begging for. Lets out a wicked laugh and cums hard when those pretty tears roll down your cheeks.

[masterlist]

likes, comments + reblogs appreciated!

[alicerosejensen]

Been seeing a lot of drama posts (which I enjoy) but how about some stuff that NSFW! What would Leon and his girlfriends first time time together be like? (Like their first time sleeping together).

These are just headcanons... Okay, I write porn in my native language, but I think it will be very terrible with English, so let's limit ourselves to headcanons for now.

There is little point here, indirectly mentioning erotica, if this is unacceptable for someone, then skip it.

Gentle reader, because I am, sorry.

∆ Leon courted you for a long time, carefully looking at your taste preferences. He notices your gestures so that your first time with him will be special.

∆ He is not the one who will rush his partner if he sees that you are not yet ready for intimacy with him.

∆ So, it came down to sex. Leon is a very gentle lover with you if you are a vanilla type.

∆ His sweet kisses touch your lips, down your neck, and you can feel Leon's tongue on your skin as his hands unbuttoned and fiddle with the lock of the dress at the back.

∆ "Everything is alright, sweetheart? - Leon looks into your face again, reading emotions. - "I'll take care of you, don't worry. Trust me, just be a good girl to me."

∆ However, Leon will definitely ask what is unacceptable for you in sex, so as not to cause you discomfort.

∆ Leon will buy condoms (if you don't have an IUD or if you don't take birth control) and lubricant.

∆ Leon is a master of foreplay.

∆ Long foreplay, on the bed or sofa... Leon is also an attentive partner. First of all, he strives to elevate you to the top of pleasure and not himself.

∆ No rudeness. He will not choke you or spank you, especially if he understands that you are categorically against this. Actually, I'm sure that Leon will discuss in advance what is acceptable to you and what is not. However, his grip is quite firm, he likes to hold you in his arms and make eye contact.

∆ He likes oral sex. How to give and take, but on your first night together, he will be the giver. He loves the way your face contorts with pleasure and moans break from your lips. It follows that he doesn't like it when you try to be quiet.

∆ Favorite position - missionary. He wants to see your face, to see you arching under him and squeezing his biceps as you call his name. Leon leans down to your lips, capturing you in a passionate kiss. This is about the first time, the next he will be happy to experiment with you about the poses. I think he likes doggy style. In general, Leon likes (and almost always) towers over you, but is not averse to switching places so that you are on top.

∆ Never agree to a threesome. While you are in a relationship with him, he does not accept that someone else sees you naked (unless it is a doctor) or even caresses you. The same applies to yourself. This guy is not the type to cheat. Although you can joke about having a relationship with another man, while Leon is not at home, he will not understand the joke. It might upset him.

∆ He's pretty tough after all the hell out of training, so you'll have about 2-3 rounds a night and you'll need a break, not him.

∆ It's already been said, but in bed, Leon will call you: sexy, pretty girl, baby, a good girl who takes him well.

∆ Leon can be a little careless that you will get bruises on your hips/wrists/waist from his hands. But he will take care of you. Take you to the shower or give you a bath so you can take it together. He likes to lather your body with his shower gel or lather shampoo in your hair. Water procedures will be accompanied by funny chuckles, hugs, light kisses with a little teasing, which will make you feel like Leon's cock is turning to stone again. From this follows a quick sex in the shower (if you take a shower).

∆ And yet he will wrap you in a towel and carry you back to bed in his arms (or throw you over his shoulder). If you want, he will lend you his shirt / t-shirt, but he likes it when you are naked in front of him. He will gently kiss each bruise and be very gentle. Leon will fall asleep only when he is convinced that you feel great.

∆ In the morning, all your bruises will be smeared with a thick layer of ointment.

∆ Leon doesn't know how to cook, so he'll just order takeaway while you sleep.

∆ But he will make you tea or coffee, depending on what you like.

∆ Hugs, tickling, kisses. Walk all day half-dressed in one of his shirt and panties, Leon will only be glad that you are not going anywhere. He likes to spend time with you and feel like a normal person.

∆ Roll in bed? Yes, at least the whole day, if it's a day off and you are nearby, but get ready for the fact that he will pester you.

∆ Leon likes to fall asleep on you. At first it will be a careful ring of hugs from which you will not get out, but the longer you are in a relationship, the more often Leon just fits on you like a pillow. Just so he can get some sleep, so it's not such a big sacrifice, right? But he shares with you the warmth of his body and believe me, he will die for you.

∆ Favorite kissing spots: neck, chest, lips, forehead and cheeks.

∆ He also likes when you play with his hair after sex.

[daisynik7]

Dirty Thirty

Pairing: Kishibe x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: thigh riding, cunnilingus, fingering, spanking, spit play, vaginal sex (doggy, cowgirl), cockwarming, use of pet names (princess and Master)

Word Count: ~5.6k

Summary: An alluring stranger gives you a special treat on the night of your 30th birthday. 

Notes: Kishibe is in his mid 40s. Also, apparently he is 6’4”, so reader is shorter, below 6’. This is very self-indulgent considering my own 30th is in a few days (shout out to all my fellow Pisces babes)! Also, I started this after finishing Chainsaw Man a few weeks ago, so this is a result of heavy Kishibe brainrot.

Additional Note: Check out Part 2 here: After Last Night! Reblogs, likes, and/or comments are appreciated. Thank you for reading!

--------------------

The bass of EDM music reverberates through the speakers at the DJ’s booth. This particular bar you frequent turns into a club at 11 PM. College kids from the university down the street congregate in this establishment on the weekends, like today. You and your friends have been here since an hour ago, drinking and chatting in a booth hidden away to the side of the dancefloor. After dinner, you stopped by for a quick drink. With the booze and vibes just right, you ended up staying. 

Tonight, you celebrate your birthday. It’s the end of an era, really. You’re officially thirty. You’ve been dreading this day for the past few months, sad to bid farewell to your twenties, which wasn’t all that anyways. The number of times your friends reassure you that your thirties are the new twenties only brings you mild comfort. Glancing at the crowd tearing up the dancefloor, you can’t help being envious of their youth. 

Maybe it’s your buzz talking. You’re not one to feel sorry for yourself, especially about something as inevitable as aging. Thirty is young. Who cares if you’re the only one in your inner circle who’s single, unmarried, or childless? There’s no shame in it. You’re sick of women being scrutinized each year they get older for not doing what society tells them they should do. Who the fuck cares if you don’t have a ring on your finger or haven’t popped a baby out your vagina yet? It isn’t on your radar, and that’s perfectly fine. Men don’t get this much shit for remaining bachelors well into their forties or fifties, why should you?

You fidget with the glittery Dirty 30! sash you wear over your little black dress. A shimmering tiara sparkles on top of your head to complete your ensemble. Your friend’s voice in your ear snaps you out of your thoughts. “Hey birthday girl, how’s it going?”

Smiling, you hold your half empty glass up towards the middle. “Good. Thanks so much for coming out to celebrate tonight!” You’re ready to chug the rest of your liquor so you can head to the dancefloor. The other three women in your group cheers, clinking their drinks with yours. 

You’re about to suggest dancing when your friend says, “Shall we call it a night?”

It catches you off guard. The music just started and it’s not even midnight yet. You’re not ready to go back to the real world; it’s your special day until you fall asleep, which you don’t plan to do for a few more hours. You’re silent though, listening as the other girls repeat a similar sentiment. 

“My husband is waiting for me at home, so yes.”

“And my babies have an early morning play date tomorrow!”

Your friend beside you turns to you and asks, “Ready to go?”

Contemplating for a moment, you respond, “I think I might stay, actually. Have another drink or two.”

They stare at you bewildered, surprised you want to be here alone, which is unusual for you. “Are you sure?” they clarify.

“Yeah! Go ahead, I’ll be fine! I’m a big girl now,” you joke, standing up to hug them. They kiss you on the cheek, greeting you one last happy birthday before leaving together to go home to their husbands and children. 

Craving another drink, you abandon your booth to approach the bar. You order your favorite: a vodka cranberry, your comfort cocktail throughout your 20s. A reminder that you’re still the same you despite moving up a decade. 

You close your tab, promising yourself this is your last, and go back to your table. It’s now occupied by an older man in a black coat, sipping on amber liquor. Annoyed, and slightly intrigued, you sit opposite of him in the same booth. He lifts his head up slowly, noticing you. 

“Hi there,” you greet him. Even in the dim light, the stitched scar on his left cheek stands out. The metal piercings on his ears glisten, the strobe lights reflecting off them from the dancefloor. 

“Can I help you?” His voice is low and raspy, either naturally or from the alcohol. 

“I was sitting here earlier. The other tables are all occupied, and I really don’t want to stand around on the dancefloor by myself. Can I sit here until I finish my drink? There’s plenty of room for the both of us.” You put on your most charming smile.

“Where are your friends? I’m sure you’d rather sit with them instead of with an old man like me.”

“They ditched me to go home. Besides, it looks like you could use the company.” You tip your cocktail into your mouth, keeping your gaze on him. 

He watches you, skeptical. “How old are you?”

You glance down at your sash, which is now twisted so that the answer to his question is on your back where he can’t see. You grin at him. “Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a woman her age?”

He hums, unamused. “I’m not keen on hanging out with girls in their 20s. Not really my style. Not tonight, anyways.”

“How old do you think I am?” 

Narrowing his eyes at your tiara, he responds, “You’re wearing a crown, drinking a cranberry vodka at a bar that plays this shit music. I’d say you’re 23.”

This amuses you, like getting asked for your ID does, which is becoming rarer nowadays. It’s flattering.

“Hey, you’re here too. The only difference is that you’re drinking a whiskey,” you tease him, pointing at his glass. 

“In my defense, I finished work nearby and this shitty cesspool was the closest bar I could find.” He takes a swig of his alcohol. “So, am I right?”

Sliding the sash to face him, you answer, “Nope. You’re wrong. Lucky for you, today is my birthday. And I just turned thirty.” 

He cracks a smile at this, giving you a flutter below your belly. You’re not typically into older men; however, this guy has piqued your interest. There’s something about him that is alluring. Exciting. 

“Happy birthday,” he says, swallowing the rest of his whiskey. “Get anything good?” 

“No. But the night’s not over yet.” You’re full-on flirting now, not at all ashamed of how brazen you’re acting. Fuck it. You only turn thirty once, right?

There’s distance between you, but the tension is so thick, you could smell the bold scent of liquor coating his lips. He leans closer, a wicked glint in his eyes. “Well, I guess it’s my responsibility now to give you something good.”

~~~

Minutes later, you’re in the back of the cab, riding towards an address he mutters to the driver. He holds you, interlocking his fingers with yours, peering out his window in silence. You focus on your entwined hands resting on the middle seat, the intimacy of it all distracting you from the fact that you’re about to hook up with this attractive stranger. 

The driver arrives to a swanky apartment complex. Once inside, Kishibe doesn’t give you enough time to marvel at the beautiful interior of the room. In an instant, his lips are on yours, both palms cupping your cheeks assertively. Breath hot and chalky from the mint you saw him savor earlier in the car. It barely masks the lingering taste of that cigarette you witnessed him drag waiting for your ride. He didn’t have the same type of smoker’s breath that you’re sick of from your coworkers. With him, you don’t mind it at all. 

His hand trails down your neck, thumb carefully brushing over a pulse point right below your chin. His skin is rough and calloused compared to yours. The scraggly facial hair scattered along his jaw is scratchy on your cheeks. 

He breaks the kiss, gazing at you while he removes his overcoat, hanging it on the rack in the corner, kicking his shoes off in the process. There’s a small bar cart in the kitchen, where he pours himself a whiskey. At the freezer, he reaches for the ice, dropping three cubes into the dark liquor with a plop. You stand still, observing him, nervous and thrilled about what this mysterious man will do to you tonight.

At the couch, he takes a seat, thighs spread wide, his wrist hanging low between them, gripping the top of the glass with his fingertips. “Come here,” he beckons. 

Removing your heels quickly and abandoning your purse, you step towards him, ready to sit beside him until he demands, “No. Not there.” He pats his thigh with his free hand. “Here.”

Your body trembles with lust as you straddle him, pussy pulsing against his muscular thigh. He studies you, from your hazy stare down to him between your legs, savoring his cold liquor all the while. You gulp loudly, obediently waiting for his next command. 

Gently removing the crown atop your head and tossing it aside, he asks, “What do you want from me, princess? It’s your birthday after all.” Hearing him call you princess gives you a rush you can no longer contain. You start moving on his thigh, riding it to feel the glorious sensations on your clit.

His chuckle vibrates through his chest as you grasp at his collar to hold you steady. “This is what you want? Okay. Take what you need. Come on my thigh. I’ll watch.” His gravelly voice in your ear makes you ride him harder, grinding against him until your creamy mess is soaking through the thin fabric of your panties. You clench his tie, loosening it around his neck. He continues to watch you, sipping on his booze, enjoying his own private show.

Once the glass is empty except for the melting ice, he sets it down on the coffee table, pulling you in closer, his hand behind your neck. Lightly blowing cool, whiskey breath along your lips. You lean forward to kiss him, his tongue slipping past to explore your needy mouth. The longing for his touch on every inch of your body grows stronger by the second as you moan into the kiss, bouncing on his leg. 

“Can you come by yourself? Or do you need my tongue on it? I can lick it up real good if you’ll let me.” His obscene suggestion surprises you, as if you weren’t already performing lewd acts on his lap. You tug at his tie to pull him into another fierce kiss before sitting next to him on the couch, lifting the hem of your dress up to reveal your wet undergarments. 

“I’ll let you do whatever you want to me. But I’m not calling you Daddy,” you tease, spreading wide for him. 

His voice is low in his throat, kneeling on the carpet, face positioned between your thighs. “Good, because I prefer to be called Master.”

You roll your eyes at him, to which he responds, “What? You don’t like that? I bet I’ll have you screaming it all night long.”

This has you speechless as he drifts towards you, staring at the wet spot soaking through your lingerie. “Look how fucking wet you are for me.” He hooks his fingers around the fabric, stretching it to the side to expose your sopping cunt. Leaning in closer, he flicks his tongue gently onto your clit, causing you to squirm above him. 

He’s testing the waters, starting slow to gauge your limit. It’s gentle at first, toying with your bud until it’s plump and sensitive. Until your wanton moans are bouncing off the walls of his big, fancy apartment. There’s no doubt that he knows exactly what he’s doing. It’s obvious this man has years of experience beyond you. Having this stranger swirl his tongue on the most intimate parts of your body makes you weak in the knees. This is the first time all night that you’re thankful to be turning thirty. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be in this apartment, getting wrecked and torn apart by him.

“I’ve always wanted a plaything I can ruin,” he breathes out, finally wrapping his lips around you. “Will you be my pretty plaything tonight?” He surrounds your clit, drawing an erotic whimper from your mouth. 

“Fuck, Kishibe. Yes. Use me as your plaything, fuck.”

He eats you out noisily, emphasizing every wet sound his mouth makes on your swollen bud. Several times, he spits on it, spreading his saliva up and down your pussy, plunging his tongue into your entrance to get it lubricated with his own drool.  

“You’re fucking drenched down here. When’s the last time you let a grown man eat you out like this? I bet you’ve never been with someone like me, huh?”

You shake your head, swiping through his hair, spreading yourself wider for him. “Never.”

“I can tell,” he says, slipping his middle and ring finger into your entrance. “So fucking wet for me. I love it.” He pumps into you, curling his digits just right, resonating all the way down to your toes. His lips latch onto your clit, drinking you up to quench his insatiable thirst. 

“Hold these for me,” he says, guiding your fingers to your panties. “Want to stroke my cock while I eat this gorgeous pussy out.” You hear the unbuckling of his belt, the sound of him shoving his fist into his slacks to jerk off. The vibrations from his moans tickle your skin as he nuzzles himself deeper into your arousal, practically drowning in it, flattening his tongue to smear his warm saliva all over. You whine in ecstasy, heedless of attracting any neighboring attention to your explicit blubbering. 

“Come on my face,” he muffles, too busy lapping up your clit to pull away, fingers pumping in and out of you, shiny and sleek with your slick.

It doesn’t take much longer for you to reach your orgasm, pleasure jolting through your body while he works you until you’re overstimulated, twitching from the euphoria. He laughs softly, face glistening with your essence, taking a seat beside you. You watch him in a daze as he sticks his cum-coated fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean. “You want a taste, too?”

You nod, disoriented from your intense climax. He drags your bottom lip down using the pad of his thumb, mumbling, “Open.”

Obediently, you stick your tongue out for him, knowing fully well what he’s about to do. Your pussy throbs again, ready to be fucked for real by this provocative stranger you were so fortunate to meet tonight. 

He grazes your open tongue, then spits in your mouth. “Swallow,” he demands, voice husky with desire. You do, making sure to gulp loudly, incredibly aroused and needy for his cock. 

“Show me,” he whispers, opening his own mouth to mimic you. “Ah.”

You show him your tongue again, a dumb expression on your face while he inspects. Satisfied, he grunts, “Fuck, you’re bad. You’re a bad girl, aren’t you?” He reaches down to your soaked panties clinging to you. “Take these off.”

He slides out of his trousers, revealing briefs that barely conceal his obvious bulge. As you slip out of your underwear, he removes his, displaying his impressive cock. “You going to ride this cock now?”

Without a word, you nod. You’re already anticipating how fucking amazing he’s going to feel inside you. Your brain is jumbled with naughty thoughts of him taking you in all positions in every room of his apartment. 

There’s a hungry gleam in his eyes as he watches you mount him. You hoist your dress up, stripping it from your body. He unclasps your bra, baring your breasts to him while he still wears his dress shirt and tie. For some reason, you want him to keep it on. Get it nice and dirty with slick and sweat.

You reach behind you to position him at your entrance. Once aligned, you slowly sink onto his cock, allowing yourself a few seconds to adjust to his size. Given his stature, it’s not surprising how big he is, both in length and girth. When you bottom out, he lets out a raspy fuck, holding your ass to squeeze your plush cheeks. “I’m ready whenever you are, princess. Like I said, take what you need from me. Milk me dry. I know you want to.”

Spurred by his provocative encouragement, you ride him, rocking your hips back and forth onto his lap, gripping his cock tight with your wet cunt. Forehead pressed to his, lids closed, jaw hanging open, experiencing the best fuck of your life. With a brief glance, you catch him watching you, a similar dazed expression on his face. You bounce on him faster, his dick pounding into you over and over again, determined to feel every inch you possibly can. 

“Fuck, Kishibe, feels so fucking good,” you moan, directing his fingers down to your clit. “I want to come all over this cock. Make me come, Master.”

Bingo. His eyes widen as soon as it slips from your mouth. It’s the magic word. The trigger. 

Without hesitation, he brushes his thumb ruthlessly onto your swollen bud. “Say it again,” he demands, pressing it hard as he massages it, eyes wild with lust.

“Fuck, make me come, Master. Make me come.” You’re riding him so fucking good, couch creaking, clutching his shoulders tight, his carnal stare locked on your every movement. 

“Tell me when you’re close,” he growls.

“I’m close, I’m close!”

Suddenly, he pulls out, cock covered in your arousal, wet and stiff against his abdomen. Strings of slick cling to the hem of his dress shirt. You’re about ready to yell at him for teasing you. Before you can, he stands up, grabbing your wrist to lead you into the bedroom. His breathing is heavy as he points to the bed, hastily removing his clothes. “On your knees, ass up. I’m going to fuck you so good. Make you squirt all over my fucking sheets.”

The anger immediately subsides and you’re back to being eager again, knowing damn well that he means every fucking word he says. You do as he commands, wiggling your ass to entice him. He chuckles behind you. “I’m sorry for denying you earlier. I just really want to see this ass bounce on my cock like this.” He teases you with his tip, tapping your clit, sliding it along your pussy lips. 

“You’re not forgiven,” you pout, growing impatient. 

Placing a soft kiss on your lower back, he laughs again. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” 

If there’s one thing you’ve learned about this stranger you met mere hours ago, it’s that he is a man of his word. 

He guides his cock into you slowly, stretching you little by little until you’re squeezing him, his entire length inside you. “Look at you, sucking me in again like you were made for me.” He starts thrusting, holding you steady to penetrate you deeper. 

“So fucking good!” you cry out, fists bunched on his silky sheets, drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. 

“I know, princess. It’s amazing for me too.” His heavy balls slap your damp skin with every brutal thrust of his hips, fucking you hard, dipping into your sweet spot until you’re woozy with pleasure. “You take it so good. So fucking sexy.” He tightens his grip on you, increasing his pace. “So fucking beautiful.”

You throw your ass back, arching your spine to get the perfect angle. With your cheeks bouncing obscenely against his thighs, you beg, “Spank me, Master. Spank me like a bad girl.”

Not wasting a second, his rough palm connects with your ass, the loud smack ringing in your ears. He spanks you again and again, your pussy clenching him tighter while you continue to thrust back onto his cock. You’re about ready to burst, desperate to reach your second orgasm after being denied earlier. You play with your puffy clit, electricity rippling through your body upon contact. Whimpering, you rub your bud faster as he pounds into you, cursing under his breath. 

“Fuck,” he moans, staring at your ass jiggle after each fresh slap he delivers. “Come on my cock, princess. That’s it. Get it creamy. Just like that, fuck.”

Waves of pleasure sweep over you, the intensity of it causing you to tremble before him. In the midst of your climax, you plead for him to finish inside you, greedy for his cum. It doesn’t take long for him to fill you up, staying nestled deep in you as he releases his warm load, letting out a husky fuck.

He pulls out, his warm release leaking from your pussy, dripping onto his sheets. He ogles at the pornographic sight in front of him, pleased with himself.

“Like what you see?” you tease, lowering your torso and relaxing on the bed.

“You are a naughty, naughty girl,” he says, collapsing beside you. “Can’t believe I let you seduce me.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault? You were the one who offered to give me something good for my birthday.” 

He raises a brow at you. “Did I succeed?”

You gaze at him, properly examining his appearance. Scruffy facial hair, eyes that are perpetually tired, the striking scar aligned with his frown. You find yourself wondering what his story is; someone this fetching must have a story.  

“Considering the mess we made, I would say you exceeded my expectations.” You lay your palm on his firm chest, his now steady heartbeat lightly thumping against your fingertips.

“I’m glad to hear I wasn’t a disappointment.” He doesn’t take his gaze off you. Normally, you’d be intimidated by such intense eye contact. With him, it’s different. You feel safe. He places his hand on top of yours, rugged thumb gently caressing the skin of your knuckles. The two of you stay like this, enjoying each other’s presence in an easy silence. 

“We can’t do this again,” he mutters, finally looking away from you. He turns onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, your hand still snug under his.

“Why not?” The shift in energy surprises you. This is not the typical pillow talk you’re accustomed too. 

“I’ll keep wanting to see you if we keep this up,” he admits. Although it’s a sweet sentiment, he’s deciding to end it here and now, not even waiting until the morning like in a typical one-night-stand.

Matching his candid demeanor, you ask, “What’s wrong with wanting to see me again?” A strange feeling of unease swells in your chest, anxious for whatever truth he’s about to reveal. 

He takes a breath before explaining, “I’m a Devil Hunter. The best in the world. My job is very dangerous. A young woman like yourself shouldn’t get attached to me. My life is expendable.” He avoids you while he speaks, eyes laser focused on the ceiling, barely blinking. It’s as if he doesn’t want to say it; rather, it’s part of a script, forced to recite the lines like it’s standard procedure. How often has he had to deliver this sober spiel to his ex-lovers? You start to pity him, speculating how detached he must remain to the outside world strictly because of his risky profession. 

You continue to stare at him, letting the information sink it. The air is thick with a serious tension. It’s a sudden switch from the wild romp you just experienced. Choosing not to pester him further, you decide to lighten the mood. You scoot towards him, mouth skimming his ear, muttering, “Well, l didn’t really like you anyways.” The cold metal of his piercings contrast the soft warmth of your lips.

He turns to you again, the tension in his brows easing slowly as he gives you a small smirk. “Oh yeah?”

You nuzzle your nose against his. “Yeah.”

“Good. It’s better this way,” he says, planting a kiss on the forehead. 

Sighing, you ask, “Can I at least spend the night?” 

“Of course. I’ll even cook you breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“I hope that doesn’t mean a cup of coffee with a splash of whiskey and a couple cigarettes,” you joke. 

He chuckles. “I’ll throw in some eggs for protein, does that work?”

“Sure. I’ll take whatever I can get, since this is the last time we’ll be seeing each other.” 

There’s a small smile on his lips as he gazes at you. A minute passes and he reaches for you, grazing your cheek delicately. You feel comfortable in bed with him. Protected. You snuggle into his chest, his arms wrapping you into a bear hug. Cozy in his embrace, you listen to his rhythmic breathing, lulling you to sleep.

~~~

In the morning, you wake up alone, tucked under the covers, clothed only in a dress shirt, barely buttoned. The bedroom door is wide open, the sound of a pan scraping on iron ringing in your ears and the inviting smell of food cooking wafting from the kitchen. 

You spot a pack of baby wipes on the drawer next to you, noticing that your body is fresh and clean, opposite the sticky mess you fell asleep to. Next to it is a brand-new toothbrush and toothpaste. With these items in hand, you tip-toe into the bathroom, appreciating his thoughtfulness.  

When you’re done, you study his bedroom for the first time, and probably last. There are no pictures hung anywhere, no personal touch to anything. Only small traces of a man whose entire existence is his job. Several ties scattered on his dresser next to a metal flask. A mini calendar on his nightstand with random scribblings of future work commitments. Hamper in the corner of the room, filled to the brim with white dress shirts, black slacks, and a couple of mismatched argyle socks. You’re slightly tempted to investigate some drawers to see the type of weapons a Devil Hunter of his caliber carries, but you don’t.

You lean against the doorframe, watching him in the kitchen. He’s in a plain white t-shirt with navy-blue pajama pants. As promised, he is cooking a batch of scrambled eggs over the stove, a steaming mug of coffee in one hand, spatula in the other. Looking domestic and sexy as hell. His words replay in your mind. You shouldn’t get attached to someone like me. You almost regret sleeping with him, knowing you’ll miss him after you leave. 

Quietly, you stroll towards him until he notices you. When he does, he takes a sip of coffee and mutters, “Morning, princess.” 

Positioned behind him, you wrap your arms around his waist, raising your heels to place a gentle kiss on the back of his neck. It’s only now that you realize how much taller he is than you. “Good morning, handsome. This is a pleasant surprise.”

“I told you I’d cook you breakfast, didn’t I?” He cranes his neck to face you, smirking. 

“You did. I’m pleased to see you keep your promise,” you tell him, resting your cheek on his back. “You’re truly a man of your word. I think that deserves a reward.” You slide your thumbs under the waistband of his pajama bottoms, teasing him. 

“If you tempt me, you won’t be able to taste this delicious meal I prepared for you,” he comments, setting his coffee mug down the counter and turning off the burner. His hand covers yours, maneuvering it over the growing bulge in his pants. 

“Maybe I’m craving something else for breakfast.” You start palming his erection, suddenly hungry for him rather than the food. 

He turns to face you, looking at you up and down in his dress shirt, your legs clenched together to hide your arousal. Still smirking, he says, “You’re making this much harder than it needs to be.” He slowly pushes you against the counter, running his fingers up your inner thigh, spreading your legs to expose your wet cunt. 

You moan, anticipating another round of intense fucking, this time in his kitchen. It makes you want to christen every part of his apartment. 

“How are you this fucking wet for me already?” He whispers, rubbing his thumb on your throbbing clit. “You’re so sexy, it’s driving me insane.”

“Kishibe,” you breath out, struggling to steady yourself. “Fuck.”

“I got you. Get on the counter for me, princess. Spread those legs so I can lick that pussy clean.” 

With his hands on your waist guiding you, you hop up, opening wide for him. Knees bent and body folded forward, he starts licking your clit, palming his erection through his pants. You come within minutes, gushing over his tongue as it glides along your slit, nose digging firmly onto your swollen bud. 

“Fuck me, Kishibe. Want that big cock inside me. Want you to fill me up again with your cum.” You hop back down, turning around and lifting the hem of the dress shirt past your ass, ready to get railed right there on the countertop.

“Not like this,” he murmurs, kissing you on the cheek. “Wait for me in my room. We’re going to have breakfast in bed together.”

Minutes later, a tray with a plate full of eggs, toast, and bacon set on top is temporarily forgotten as the two of you fuck on the other side of the bed. Him sitting up, back pressed to the headboard, you riding him until he spills inside you, causing you to orgasm again all over him. 

You slump forward, resting your head on his shoulder, tired and satiated from another amazing fuck. Attempting to slide off him, he kisses you on the lips, his grip firm on your waist, unyielding. “Keep my cock inside you. Can you do that for me?” 

In your blissful state, all you can do is nod, getting comfortable on his lap. He reaches for a slice of bacon on the tray, letting you take the first bites before he finishes it, doing the same for a piece of buttered toast. He feeds you forkfuls of scrambled eggs, using the same utensil for himself. It’s pleasantly intimate for two people who just met. Playing the role of a long-term couple, indulging in simple delights together, like breakfast in bed.

Plate cleared, both your bellies full of nourishment, you stay in this position, kissing each other leisurely, no rush to separate. He whispers your name, fondling your breasts through the fabric of his dress shirt that you’ve made yours. He repeats it a few more times, relishing how it feels on his lips before he never has to utter it again. 

It’s bittersweet, knowing it’s ending as soon as it begun. You have no reason to be so smitten with him. You’re two people who hardly know each other. Still, you find yourself not wanting to say goodbye yet. Something’s there. A tiny spark flickering in the distance. Maybe you’re one of many women he’s done this with before. Maybe you’re nothing special. But in this fleeting moment, you let yourself believe it’s real.

The two of you reluctantly part after an especially long, passionate kiss. You dismount him, grabbing the wipes to clean up the mess that was made earlier. He gives you a smooch on the forehead before getting out of bed to exit the room, returning in less than a minute to hand you your outfit from last night. You briefly recall carelessly discarding it all over his living room floor right before you pounced on him. Is it too soon to consider that a fond memory? It hasn’t even been 24 hours and you’re reminiscing about him already. 

He leaves you alone in the bedroom to change. Before you undress, you bring the sleeves of the shirt to your nose and inhale deeply, memorizing his scent. You almost want to keep this shirt as proof that this happened. That Kishibe is real.

Back in your black dress, you sit at the edge of the bed, waiting for his return. When he walks in, he points at the sash and tiara next to you on the bed. “You’re not going to wear that?”

Shrugging, you respond, “It’s no longer my birthday, so it feels silly wearing it. Just toss it.”

You check your phone, estimating the time of arrival for the ride you requested. Any minute now, they’ll be here, ending your short-lived tryst. He offers to drop you off, but you refuse, not bothering to explain that doing that will result in you dragging him into your own apartment and keeping him a willing hostage for another few hours. It’ll only make it more difficult to not get attached. He doesn’t question it, probably understanding this himself. 

The ping from the app chimes through your phone. You stand up, smiling at him, swinging your purse over your shoulder. “That’s my ride.”

He walks you to the door, waiting for you to strap on your heels. Once they’re on, you smile. “I guess this is it. Thank you for a fun night.”

“Thank you too. This was fun.” It could be wishful thinking, but you hear a waver in his voice. Is he a little bit sad too?

You face the door, ready to turn the knob, when you feel his grip on your wrist. He spins you towards him, kissing you feverishly, his hand caressing your cheek, the other behind your neck. Yearning for one more moment of intimacy with you. He breaks away, resting his forehead against yours, eyes shut as he says goodbye with one last whisper of your name. You avoid his gaze as you exit, walking out of his life.

It’s better this way. 

[briar-ffxiv]

FFXIV Write #15 - Achieve

FFXIV Write 2024 Master Post

Prompt #15 - You Pick - Achieve

Note: Part 2 of this story. Basically, what Briar does with the sheep his pup brought home!

When Briar woke up, he had almost forgotten the five strange sheep Jack had brought home the night before, literally into his kitchen. It had taken quite a bit of time to clean up. Tired, muddy sheep made quite a bit of mess, especially when they took to shoving their cute little snouts into everything. And Briar still had no idea where they even came from! Sheep weren't exactly overly common in the Black Shroud.

The morning chores were done fairly quickly at this time of year. The half-Elezen let the chickens out to forage, gathering the few eggs without surprise. This late in the year, the hens were mostly not laying. The sheep were next with each ewe checked and a bit of grain given before they were allowed to waddle out into the pasture. Ajax, the little ram, bounced after them, happy to stand guard over his little herd. The garden was checked and a few vegetables were gathered before Briar confronted the problem of the 'stranger sheep'.

So an hour after waking up, Briar was standing with his hands on his hips outside the fence. Beside him, Jack was sitting in the grass, short tail thumping against the ground as he grinned up at his master.

"So what were you trying to achieve?" Briar grumbled a little to Jack, reaching down to scratch the pup's ears. He wasn't actually upset with the dog. Jack knew that he was supposed to bring loose sheep home. Briar didn't expect the sheepdog to understand the difference between his sheep and other sheep, at least not at the moment.

With a sigh, Briar went to the shed to gather some hay to toss to the five yearling lambs who were wandering toward the fence, bleating at the half-Elezen. They were more skittish than his own sheep, but eventually, he managed a few gentle pets. There was one ram and four ewes, which made Briar wonder if someone's new herd of sheep had been stolen by his eager little sheepdog pup.

"I really do need to work on your training," he murmured to Jack, shaking his head. "But for now, I need to find out who these belong to…"

So Briar ate a quick, cold breakfast of bread and fruit before getting dressed properly for travel. Whistling for Jack, he sighed and headed toward the path, assuming Jack had taken the sheep along it. The hoofprints made it likely and he started to follow it back. Sheep weren't exactly subtle creatures so their trail was quite obvious. "You couldn't have come too far, right?" he asked Jack, who answered with a woof and a doggy smile.

Shaking his head, Briar continued, finding the main road that wove its way from Buscarron's Druthers toward Quarrymill. He ended up heading south, ears working cautiously. The roads were patrolled by Wood Wailers, but in Briar's mind, they were little better than the worst of bandits. So he occasionally squeezed his staff nervously, green eyes darting to look for signs of trouble or where the sheep had come from.

Near midday, Briar found a caravan that looked Ul'dahn in design. It was busy with several Highlanders, Hyur, and Lalafell working. One standing to the side with crossed arms seemed to be directing the others and happened to glance up the road to see the slim half-Elezen with the dog at his heels.

"You!" the Lalafell bellowed, surprisingly loud as he marched directly at Briar.

Briar halted, eyes wide as he stared for a moment. "S-sir? I don't--"

"Where are my sheep, you mangy cur?" the Lalafell demanded, pointing a finger at Jack as if he expected the dog to answer. "Thief!"

Briar flinched and looked at the sheepdog hiding behind his legs. "Sir? S-sir!" he managed louder, finally getting the fuming Lalafell's attention. "I'm s-sorry, but he brought them to me. They're f-fine and fed. No harm came to them."

"Then where are they?!" the Lalafell demanded, hands on his hips as he glared up at Briar. "Why didn't you bring them back?!"

Briar blinked, realizing that perhaps he should have brought the herd with him, but he'd been more focused on the mystery than anything else. "I w-was not sure what had happened so I was trying to--"

The Lalafell scoffed loudly. "They were clearly stolen! You want to keep them for yourself! Probably trained that dog to do it!"

Briar blinked, brow furrowing in confusion and perhaps a little offence. "I am n-not a thief," he said with a frown. "If I w-was, I would not have told you I had them."

The Lalafell bristled, pointing angrily at Briar. "You need to pay for them!"

"Pay for your sheep?" Briar echoed. "W-why? I can just go get them…"

The caravan master shook his head, hands on his hips. "No time! We have to get moving and we're already late! Plus, you might never come back."

"I would come back," Briar said, stiffening. "If I say I w-will do something, I do it."

"Even if that were true," the Lalafell said, clearly not believing Briar, but more worried about his schedule than a handful of sheep. "I don't have the time for such nonsense. I demand you pay or I'll inform the Wood Wailers."

Briar grimaced and flinched a little at the idea. The Wood Wailers had little use for those not born in the city, and even less for a half-breed. He did not wish to deal with them because most would just assume he was, in fact, a thief without even hearing him. A helpless frustration filled him and he sighed. "How much?"

When the Lalafell named a price that was far too high, Briar stared at him for a few moments and then shook his head. "No." While he was not very good at haggling, he knew what his sheep sold for and it was not even half of what the man was demanding.

"…No?" the Lalafell sputtered, clearly not expecting the quiet, firm refusal.

"N-no," Briar repeated. "That is not a f-fair price."

"How dare--"

"No," Briar said stubbornly again, in contrast with white-gripped knuckles. "If that is the price, I will return them. I w-will not pay that."

The Lalafell sputtered angrily but shut up as Briar lifted his chin. "I will go now and b-bring them to the Wood Wailers. You can talk to them to return if you wish," the half-Elezen said quietly.

The caravan master clenched his jaw and stomped his foot in annoyance. "I have no time for that! You--" He glared at Briar, who quivered a bit with nerves but stood his ground otherwise. The Lalafell glanced at the nearly packed caravan and muttered a curse. "Fine!" he half-shouted, naming a price that was less than half. "That's what I paid. That's what I want."

Briar stared at the Lalafell for a few moments before nodding. "V-very well," he said quietly, digging into the pouch at his waist. He was glad he often kept some coin with him when he travelled, just in case. The half-Elezen passed the Lalafell the demanded coin, who seemed irritated Briar had it at hand.

"Likely you meant to keep them the whole time," the Lalafell grumbled in frustration, but a quick count showed the coins were there. "Feh! Better to not have to deal with the stupid creatures anyway. Now, go away. And take that mutt with you."

Briar watched as the Lalafell stomped back to his caravan, breathing out a shaky breath as he turned and headed back home. He had only gotten a few steps when he froze and then glared down at Jack. "….Did you just somehow get me to buy more sheep?!"

Jack just grinned, tongue out and backside wagging as he pranced beside Briar. If Briar didn't know any better, he would say the dog was quite pleased with the outcome and the new sheep.

[mrsarnasdelicious]

Master Chief NSFW Alphabet

A = After (what they’re like after sex)

John, before his hormone pellet is removed, just gets up and gets dressed. He's cum, he's moderately pleased you, end of. But after he's removed it, holy fek. The first months after it, he usually falls asleep, because the experience overwhelms him a little, but once he's settled into his new normal, he likes to cuddle and to just talk while gently stroking your belly or back. He likes the feeling of belonging that comes with those moments. You are his home, the one he feels at peace with.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

John never really gives him own body much thought, but if he's pressed he'd say his neck/throat because it is not scarred and his hands, because his hands can bring you pleasure.

On you there is little he would not consider his favourite. From head to heel, he absolutely worships you. Your hair, your face, the crook of your neck where you smell so good he could almost jizz his pants, your shoulders so perfectly kissable, your breasts, your stomach, your back, your pussy, your perfect earmuff thighs and even your tiny little little toes.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

The hormonal pellet kept his sterile, so when it was still in, he came only a tiny bit, his seed null.

Once it comes out though, his body is overcompensating. At first he experiences a few months of hyperspermia, cuming so much you absolutely have no idea what to do with it. This bridges out after a while though. He still cums a lot, but not so much that you think he's drained his entire balls in one go.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

None while his pellet is in.

BUT AFTERWARD, OH MY GODS. He is soooo sensitive and even a gust of breath down his neck can give him an instant boner. Sometimes he gets aroused from the cold metal of his dogtags against his skin.

He is barely willing to let you know how easy it is to get him going, let alone anyone he is not involved with.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Bare minimum. Guy's probably barely been laid before he met you. Once or twice, but most certainly not more. The hormonal pellet keeps his libido and his desire only ever so slightly above zero.

But your pheromones just WORK for him and despite the pellet, he wants you. It does not always work out the way he wants to, but he sure desires you. Not to mention how he wants you after the pellet comes out.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

It's a split between Doggy and having you ride his lap.

He loves the angle of doggy, the way he can just grab onto you and plough you like a beast, especially pre-pellet removal, he could just go ham and see how far he'd make it. Post-pellet removal he still loves, because it is the only position that makes him feel dominant

When you ride him while the both of you are sitting up tho, GORL!!! It is so intimate, so much of him is touching you, you can touch so much of him and he can touch so much of you. Everything is squeezed into this small intimate space and he just looooves it soo much.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Oh no, John is serious as ever, even when his pellet is out. Sex is serious business. Plus, he's never even learned what goofing around was, not since he's been part of the Spartan program anyways.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He shaves his chest, happy trail and puebes. Trims his pits. His body hair is a little darker than his head-hair. Pre pellet removal it does not grow very fast, but once the pellet is out, he has to shave weakly and cuddling becomes a bit less comfy bc of all the stubble, so he opts for a more long lasting way of removing his body hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Pre pellet-removal John comes off as pretty detached, he's just fucking you. He does his best really, but he has to emotional range of a paracetamol tablet, so it is just not working for him.

But once the pellet is out, HOOO BOYYY. Intimacy is so much more important than pleasure. He wants to be held, he wants to hold you. Kissing is soooo important to him. He wants your smell and your taste. Whisper sweet nothings to him, be gentle, run your nails gently over his scalp and hold him, just hold him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

No, he just doesn't. Not even post pellet removal. He doesn't see the point in doing things alone.

He will jerk off if you tell him you want to see if, but he just does that for you to watch, not for his own true pleasure.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dirty talk, power struggle (is he in charge or is he?), running the risk of getting caught, voyeurism/exibitionism (mutually), overstim (giving), edging (receiving) mild humiliation (recieving), praise (mutual). His praise kink is most certainly the most prominent. He really wants you to tell him he is doing well. Especially for you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He isn't that picky. The bed does fine, or any near flat surface.

At first he is pretty indifferent as to where, too, just where you wanted him. Then, when his pellet is freshly out, he prefers privacy, bedroom, or bathroom. After a few months he'll start getting more careless, happy to shove you up a wall of a corridor that hasn't been frequented in a while...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

While his pellet is still in, his only real motivator is your need for him and your scent.

ONCE IT IS OUT THOUGH, HOLY FEK. He has so much little things that turn him on. The lightest touch, the sight of you in your work out clothes, the breeze running through your hair, scalp massages, you pushing your butt against his crotch. Hell, he even pops a boner just thinking of the way you smile at him in the morning.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bodily waste, blood, calling him sir/daddy, labcoats and breathplay.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He's actually a wee indifferent about having his cock sucked, but GODS BE GOOD, he loves eating you out. He does this slowly and with a strange sort of reverence.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He does both and anything in between. There are encounters in which he is absolutely feral with need and rams into you without mercy, but there are also night that he takes hours worshipping you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He'll take what he can get, NGL. Though post pellet removal, John puts far more vallue on a good full session, he will still absolutely make due with a quicky if that is all the two of you will be able to squeeze in.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Post pellet removal, John is rather eager to broaden his horizon. He does not want to try things that may hurt you, but will be okay with some pain on his side.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Usually, he has a very long fuse and can go for two or three rounds, if he wants to, but in the few months after his pellet is removed, he is such a quick shot, but able to go for four or five rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No, his cock, hands and mouth do the trick, in his eyes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

John is not at all a tease. He does like it when you tease him a little bit, always makes him more excited for you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He grunts like a wild boar, holy fek. Grunting and groaning and he can't really help but be quite loud.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The first time he came to you after he'd taken his hormonal pellet out, he was so insecure and overwhelmed about everything. His voice was trembling when he asked you to take the lead, to please kiss him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Straight up horsecock. He's cut, got balls a bit larger than average and the pertest arse in the universe.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pre pellet removal his sex drive is negligible, only engaging when you prompt him. But after that, booooy howdy he can hardly get enough of you. He wants you whenever he can get his hands on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Tends to put so much of himself in sessions that once it unwinds, he zonks off.

[oldguardleatherdog]

Getting into “pup space” and staying connected: a step-by-step approach

For pup players, achieving “pup space” - also known as "pup head" or "dog head", where your inner canine spirit comes to the fore as your primary sense of self-awareness and your human capacity fades into the background for a while - is our goal each time we're on all fours. Finding a consistent and dependable way to get there and maintain that connection can be challenging and frustrating.

Getting ourselves reliably "down there" - another term I like to use for inhabiting the realm of dog, the environment from a dog's perspective two feet off the floor where we inhabit a physical plane and level all our own, where the pup head can be sustained as we move through space - takes time and practice, just like learning a martial art or taking music lessons.

And like Brazilian jiu-jitsu and playing the trumpet, focused study of the elements that can induce pup space, combined with daily reinforcement of what we learn from that study – e.g., techniques, styles, movement breakdowns and Aikido forms, major and minor scales on your instrument - is the best way to achieve consistency. Practice makes perfect. Each time we go down to all fours, we go down more smoothly and quickly, we go deeper into pup space, and we can stay down there a little longer each time.

When I’m coming from a “cold” physical and mental stance, i.e., the times when I’m out of my normal constant light trance state and have been required to be “fully human” – 100% human, 0% dog – for an extended period, I have a routine to launch me back into pup space that’s tailored specifically for a cold start.

Going cold happens under certain conditions when I’m away from my home/kennel environment: if I’ve been traveling for more than two nights; after a meeting away from home that doesn’t involve kink (yes, it happens for lifestylers too); even at home if Master’s been away for a week and there was no boarding kennel or dog-sitter available to look after me.

Here's my “Cold Start” sequence:

It begins with the body. From a relaxed state, positioned on the edge of a couch or chair, wearing my pup gear, centered, balanced, leaning slightly forward from the waist, hind paws easily on the ground, front paws on knees, arms relaxed. My body posture and stance are inclined downward. My breathing is regular, centered, from my diaphragm (not my chest), then…

Sounds start coming out. The air I exhale just grazes my voice box enough to make a slight low sound “mmm” – lips together, then open to “huuuuuuh, huuuuuh…” and then a more animalistic “ahhrrrrr, ahrrrrr”. If you have a screen nearby, load it up with spirals or similar hypno images (there are many excellent pup spirals on Discord and YT, collect ‘em all!); if not, focus on a spot ahead of you about 2 feet off the ground. If you start to glaze over or blur, go with it (if it makes you uncomfortable, pull up and refocus/reset, then go back into relaxed stance).

Words begin, then degrade. Starting with fully-articulated human words, a three-word simple phrase -“Good boy Bruzr” – I repeat the phrase audibly in a half-whisper just loud enough for me to hear it, and as I look at my spot and feel myself heading down and forward to that spot [dog wants to see and sniff it already], I’m half-aware of my paws coming from my knees up to my chest and they start rubbing the sensitive spots (I’d stroke myself if I could but in this kennel, dogs don’t touch themselves, haven’t done it in 14 years for real).

As I repeat my doggy mantra, my tongue lolls out, making my words degrade into unintelligible speech, becoming “owooo, owooo, owooo” and I lean forward and down, then –

[gotta smell the spot NOW] and boom! I hit the ground, full-on 100% dopey happy dumb mutt Bruzr, just the way Master likes it, barking up a storm and howling my head off! and I'm where I belong, where I'm meant to be.

It's a repeatable process - a sequence of actions that I step through the same way each time I start from cold, involving body, sound, light self-hypnosis, breathing and relaxation, and a moderate nudge I give myself by speeding up my breath to rev up for the launch off the couch.

This all comes together to set up an unobstructed flow of energy starting at my physical center of breath (your breath is the closest thing to your spirit and serves as a key to unlock its power), taking my body to all fours in a smooth, unified, natural way.

I want to emphasize that this set of techniques is what works for me. How did I settle on this sequence? Practice, practice, practice. Trial and error over decades, going up and down thousands of times. But that doesn't mean you need to log that kind of mileage to get consistent and effective results!

You can do this solo. It’s important to be able to achieve pup space connection when we are alone; this is how confidence in a sense of the “pup self” is developed and made stronger.

If you want to try this method out and see how it fits, you can follow the steps and techniques as I describe them here, and/or you can take this sequence and use it as a flexible template, a baseline for creating your own sequence using elements (music, lighting, indoors/outdoors, etc.) that help you achieve relaxation and focus.

Change your usual setting. Experiment with your starting posture and stance. For vocalizing, play with sounds and words until you find that “sweet spot” that flows smoothly. Got a playlist you like that helps you trance out or get motivated? Let it rip!

One more thing: Be easy on yourself. No one, regardless of how long they've been a pup, achieves a 100% connection to full headspace 100% of the time - it’s ok to be frustrated. Keep practicing and give it the time you need and deserve.

During a play session, it's not uncommon for the link to fade and reset multiple times. Years ago, I was given a helpful trigger: When the connection drops, I take a deep breath and expel it with the same “ahrrrrr” sound I used in my sequence, restoring the connection and taking me deeper into pup space.

Don’t sweat it when it happens; jump right back and reset the connection. Our link to pup space can be mischievous and quirky, just like us! You’re not “doing it wrong” – there’s no such thing in Pup Play – you’re persistent, determined, doggedly sniffing out that signal! Trust that your connection will strengthen and become more persistent over time.

Practice, explore, refine, find what works, do it regularly and often, and you will be rewarded with positive results and deeper, dependable connections.

Thanks for reading! You’re the best pup! Yes, you are!

In Service,

Alpha Pup Bruzr (Animal J. Smith)

[yelenasdiary]

Reader made a self made advent calendar for Wanda and in the 24 is something really special.

☃️ Made With Love ☃️

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Arts, craft and special gifts for one special woman. 

Fluff | 0.8K | No Warnings | 

Translation: dorogoy (darling)

AC: Random fact, I got my dogs doggie advent calendars this year!

Day 6 | Advent Calendar Masterlist 🎄

Since you gave Wanda, your home-made Christmas Advent Calendar she's been excited each day to grab a card and open the gift with the labeled number on the front. You loved seeing how happy she was after breakfast to see what other creative things you'd come up with. As an artist you always doubted your own skills, but Wanda always found a way to ensure you that your work was always mind blowing to her. Not ever gift was something special you made, you switched it up by adding a few things you've noticed her eyeing up while window shopping. 

"Good morning my love!" Wanda smiled as you came downstairs for breakfast, "good morning darling" you replied with a soft smile. Wanda had been up earlier than normal, it was December 24th and you could tell she was itching to open the last gift with her name on it. "I made your favourite" she placed a plate of your favorite pancakes on the table for you with a freshly made mug of coffee. "Why thank you" you smiled once more as you took a seat at the table, Wanda gave you a kiss on the top of your head before she sat across from you with her second mug of coffee for the morning. 

"Merry Christmas Eve cutie" you looked at her with a teasing smile before taking a sip of your coffee, "you can't open that last gift until tonight, sorry baby". Wanda playfully frowned, "so you're going to let it sit there all day to tease me?" She asked, you nodded. "We have some things to do today before tomorrow, we did tell Maria we'd bring a dish to Christmas dinner" you reminded Wanda who playfully sighed. "I think maybe we should take a spontaneous trip for Christmas, just the two of us!" She suggested. 

"Wands, have you seen how bad the snow is? We're lucky we're able to get to the compound" you chuckled. "Nothing a little magic can fix" she hinted with a smirk, "Nice try baby but we promised, plus the day will go by so. quickly then you can have your last gift before tomorrow" you replied before filling your mouth with the pancakes she'd made you. 

For Wanda the day felt like it went on forever. The two of you went shopping to pick-up last-minute Christmas gifts and then to the grocery store for Wanda to get the ingredients for paprikash which you still after three years could never master at making it. Lucky for you, Wanda quickly got distracted when she was perfecting her favorite dish that she almost forgot about her gift by dinner time. Left over from last night went down beautifully before cuddling up on the sofa. 

"Are you ready for the last gift?" You spoke softly with Wanda in your arms, "I've been ready since 7 am this morning" she chuckled causing a chuckle from yourself. "Okay, wait here" you gently shifted off the sofa and walked upstairs to the bedroom to grab the gift that you hid from her in case she was cheekily opened it while you weren't watching. Nerves ran through your body faster than you knew how to control them, taking a moment to gather your thoughts before making your way downstairs to Wanda who was sitting patiently on the sofa with a soft smile. 

"You look like you've seen a ghost, are you okay?" Her smile quickly turned to concern, "I'm fine darling, here" You smiled softly as you handed her the last gift of the advent calendar, a medium sized box to keep her from guessing. "Are you sure?" Wanda asked once more as she kindly took the gift from you and placed it beside her, "I'm sure, open your gift darling" You placed a kiss on her forehead while your palms filled with sweat. 

You watched as Wanda carefully opened the gift, finding inside the box was a smaller box that was always wrapped. She wouldn't admit it now, but she could hear how loud your thoughts were. "dorogoy" she whispered as she took out the smaller box, unwrapping it slowly before opening it to see a beautiful golden ring. "I made it" you said while Wanda admired the ring, "baby, it's beautiful" she gasps, taking the ring out of its box, "when did you get the time to make this?" Wanda asked while paying close attention to the ring that held her favorite color as the gem. 

"While you were away on missions, I've been planning it for months and it just helped when you were away" you explained with red cheeks, "Wands" you said, getting on one knee. "Will you marry me?" You asked while looking into her eyes. Even Wanda couldn't see this coming as tears filled her eyes, she nodded, "yes" she smiled before allowing you to slip the ring on her finger, "I can't believe you made it, it's so beautiful" she said once again while admiring the ring as it sat perfectly on her finger. "You deserve so much, and I hope I can give it all to you" you replied, kissing her ever so softly.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz  | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @wandsmxmff | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @lizzieslcver | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | 

[undersero]

Beee for your ask game, may I ask about Daiki aomine and his favorite position, the type of house spouse he is, or random thoughts or habits he has? I could not decide so whatever you want to talk about most!! Love you💚💚💚

I could talk about Daiki for forever LETS GOOOOOOOOO

1- He super likes fucking you from behind/doggy style. It enables him to fuck into you as hard as he can, and your position on your hands and knees gives you a more stable base that keeps you sturdy while he rails you. He also loves sliding his hands around to your front to feel your chest.

2- Daiki is an okay house husband. He is prone to napping the afternoon away and letting chores pile up a bit. He isn’t very good at folding clothes and will actively put off the task of folding laundry by hanging things on hangers in the closet even if they don’t belong there. But I also think he would really love cuddles and quality time. He would have a few recipes that he’s mastered that he is always happy to prepare. He would ensure everything in your home was comfortable and cozy, because he values that and wants you to be at ease- definitely good in the non- traditional aspects of house husbandry like that!

5- Daiki likes spicy food but also likes lots of cream in his coffee.

In his home, he arranges furniture with the seasons to ensure that he constantly enjoys the best napping spots available for the time of year.

He really, really values comfort items.

Daiki is easily forgetful but will remember little things like the sushi restaurant you both really like but only visited one time, or the kind of toppings you prefer on your ramen and how exactly you like the items on your nightstand to be arranged.

[urlocalwhumper]

oh rayan and your part time caretaker part time whumpee swag. dw u have pupy now and she will make everything better

rayan belongs to @sowhumpshaped

even though she'd been half-asleep just moments prior, nana's ears perked up when she heard the front door opening. she blinked the remaining sleep out of her eye and sat up, wagging her tail and letting out a happy yip to greet her master.

except... something was wrong. he was sniffling and wiping his eyes, almost as if he'd been crying. her ears flattened and her tail lowered, worried.

"hi, nana." he said sullenly, sounding a bit congested. "sorry, i um... i didn't have a very good day at work today."

she frowned, scooting over on the couch so he could flop down beside her. he just stared up at the ceiling for a good few moments, until she climbed over and laid across his lap, staring up at him with a single worried eye.

"it wasn't," he sniffed, "it wasn't that big of a deal. people get mad sometimes." he ran his thumb over her right ear. "i... i wish they weren't so mean about it, though."

well, she could certainly understand that. she leaned into his touch, nuzzling against his hand and prompting him to go on.

"it wasn't even about me, really." he sighed. "people were just mad about the wait time, or- or that their food took longer than they wanted. neither of those are my fault, but... it still hurts."

master didn't say anything for a few minutes. he just sat there, petting her hair and seemingly contemplating something. she grunted softly as she sat up, joints a little stiff from not moving for a while, and gave him a proper hug, like she'd seen humans do for each other when they were sad.

it seemed to work, considering his reaction. he froze for a moment, before quickly returning the hug, starting to sniffle quietly again.

"i'm... i'm really glad you're here." he said. "you- you know, before i brought you home, i was always alone after a bad day. and it- it just made me feel worse. i'd call my parents, sometimes, but..." he squeezed her tight. "i'd still be alone."

he pulled back slightly and gave her a watery smile. "but now i'm not." he laughed a little. "now i've got the best doggy in the world, isn't that right?"

she couldn't help but wag her tail at the praise, giving him another happy yip in response. he ruffled her hair, grinning at how the strands stuck up all over the place once he pulled his hand away.

"alright, come on." he said. "time for walkies!"

and he couldn't help but laugh at how quickly she leapt out of his lap and darted over to her leash on the counter, his troubles forgotten, at least for a moment.

[breadedsinner]

Hawke doggy headcanons just because.

*

Hawke: Judith (Warrior, Templar Spec, Blue, Romances Sebastian)

Mabari: Gallant

How they met: Gallant was one of the pups being trained at a kennel in the town the Hawke family lived in, before Lothering. Judy and her siblings would sometimes go to look at them, unknowingly imprinting on one of them. On more than one occasion, she had to return him to the kennel after running off. When the family needed to flee, she had accidentally left behind her wooden sword. Hot on their trail was Gallant, sword in mouth.

Personality: Gallant takes the role of Family Guardian very seriously. Despite imprinting on Judith, he was very playful with the twins and would follow them around town, especially when she had gone to enlist in the King's Army. In Kirkwall, his ears would perk and he would sit firm at the doorway, as if to say, "State your business".

He became a little softer as years went on, becoming more attentive to Judith as she grieved her mother. He would lick her hand and put his head on her lap when she experiences nightmares, knowing something was wrong, not knowing what else to do.

Does the Dog Like the LI: Much like his partner, Gallant tends to keep people at a distance until they prove themselves. Sebastian was able to pass effectively and quickly; Gallant seemed to understand and accept the proper respect he was giving with his bowing. It also helps that he had treats for him in one of his belt pouches.

*

Hawke: Lydia (Mage, Force Mage Spec, Red, Romances Isabela)

Mabari: Gambit

How They Met: Malcolm had brought her home, a sickly runt of the littler. Whoever originally owned her said he could keep her, assuming she survived. Malcolm, a master healer with his two apprentices, had her up and spry by the next day. Lydia was never an animal person, and was happy to have it be the companions of her siblings. But the pup always seemed to want to play and fall asleep next to her.

Personality: Gambit is surprisingly gentle and curious. Lydia had quickly put her to work when in Lothering, making her deliver potions and remedies to her neighbors. But she took to instructions and training very well, and this is a practice they would expand upon in Kirkwall.

Despite being a breed of war hound, Gambit does not seem to like fighting, perfectly content to follow around Lydia and company and smell new things. That Lydia was able to find anything of value in her travels is largely because of her. Not to say she can’t fight, though; she will still readily tear through some ankles if Lydia is in immediate danger.

Does the Dog Like the LI: Gambit likes everyone, but Isabela did not like her, assuming she was just a big slobbery, leg-humping beast. But no one can resist those eyes for long… she’s still not allowed on the bed anymore, though.

*

Hawke: Faye (Rogue, Shadow Spec, Purple, Romances Merrill)

Mabari: Ghost

How They Met: Faye supported the family by hunting. One day she traveled into the nearby forest and heard a whining sound. Eventually, she found a lone pup; it mostly looked like a mabari, but Faye suspected he might be part wolf. How such a union happened, she didn’t know, but the pup was defensive, growling. “Oh, sorry, didn’t realize you’d claimed this spot,”.

She would return to that spot and found that same dog there, but maintained a respectful distance. She would look for others, but found none. Sometimes she would talk, half to the dog, half to herself, knowing no answer would come. In time, she proved to the dog that she was no threat, and was willing to share her quarry.

Personality: Ghost is skiddish and slow to trust. He came to enjoy Lothering over time, but there were a lot more open spaces. He was never all that happy in Kirkwall, and insisted on coming along with Faye and company whenever they went out. As a show of trust, Ghost still likes to bring Faye whatever he manages to find, sometimes useful, sometimes not so much. Sometimes if they’re by the Wounded Coast or Sundermount, Ghost will wander out by himself, but Faye trusts he can always find his way back home.

Does the Dog Like the LI: Ghost never really liked anyone besides Faye, and is wary of strangers, but civil. Merrill was no exception, but she was persistent and gentle. If nothing else, Ghost began to see that Faye liked Merrill, and that was good enough for him.

[morulezopelforever]

El Sopo & Friends - Dancing and Partying in Tbilisi

Here are some tidbits from my new ATWD fanfic, which is part of a series but which can be read as an individual story as well. It involves trick-or-treating at Halloween, a party at Sopo's restaurant (El Sopo, the only Tex-Mex eatery in the Caucasus) and some unexpected romantic enhancement for Merab, Mary and Irakli!

A Halloween charity run.

When they were back on the pavement Irakli, Merab and Ninutsa lit cigarettes and checked Sopo’s goodie bag. It was fairly full after dozens of visits at various houses. Most people had given dinner leftovers. ‘The boiled potatoes and the khinkali are all smushed,’ Sopo grumbled. ‘And they gave us gravy, too, without a Tupperware box…Yuck, those chocolates are fucked. It smells revolting.’

Aleko was the treasurer. He counted the pecuniary donations. ‘Five euros, seventeen lari and six hundred Austrian shillings.’ He frowned. ‘Oh damn, those are worthless. The currency was abolished over twenty years ago. But still, people give from the goodness of their hearts and we should all be grateful.’

Sopo flung the bag onto the pavement and trampled on it with her Mexican boots. ‘It’s nothing, bloody nothing!’ she growled. ‘Makes me wonder why I bothered to come along.’

Merab smiled at her. She had recently quit smoking and had been in a continuous state of PMS ever since, as David put it. But she smiled back at Merab. It’s because I’m looking so cute in my old corduroy coat and the tartan cap, he thought.

He had Doggie with him on a leash. She was wearing a pumpkin costume that looked absolutely adorable on her. It had earned her some dog treats from nice people earlier on. It was a pity that Sopo had devoured them. Now that Sopo no longer smoked she had the most outrageous food cravings.

****

Sopo is throwing a costume party dressed as Madame de Pompadour. Pity her friends aren't.

The environment and its first visitors where looking pleasant. David had shaved his upper lip and his chin clean, leaving only hair on his cheeks. He had donned a top hat, a black suit with a white collar and a cloak. Nino was dressed as a chimney sweeper with a cardboard ladder and a brush on a string attached to her jacket. She was a luck charm.

Mary was very Victorian. Her hair was parted and braided into buns over her ears. The plainness of her black dress suggested grateful servitude. Dear Mary. She had graduated with a master diploma from London Uni a few weeks ago, but she had come home for good and she did not like it. Her boyfriend Stanley was still in England. Sopo’s heart ached for her.

The ache turned into ire when Irakli entered the room from the kitchen. He had been working at his (her) pub next door and never bothered to change into fancy dress. In his wake was a yellow something – yes, something.

‘Why are you wearing an Ajax Amsterdam shirt?’ she snapped at him. ‘They plummeted in the Dutch National League last year. You’re supposed to look extravagant tonight, not embarrassing.’

Irakli shied away wordlessly, and then the yellow something stepped forward and kissed her exuberantly, nearly causing her to lose her wig. ‘Happy birthday, Sopo!’ he piped.

‘Merab, why the eff are you wearing a Pikachu suit?’ she fumed.

He shrugged. ‘Akh, the rental agency was all but cleaned out by the other guests. They only had this thing left, apart from Playboy bunny or dictator costumes.’

When Aleko walked in she lost it. He was wearing a chokha over a plain shirt and press-fold trousers, no fancy dress, just traditional Georgian garb. He must be getting senile.

‘Happy birthday!’ he said to her. ‘What a nice party this is…Oh hello Merab, hello Irakli!’

Her madness now took over. ‘Bow down and pay your respect to Madame de Sopodour!’ she shrieked at the three freaks. ‘Bow down and acknowledge my superior being!’

They obeyed and sank onto their knees before her. Merab instantly assumed the role of the poor citizen. ‘But milady, how could we? We can’t even afford bread! Akh, have mercy!’

‘If you can’t buy bread, have khachapuri,’ she snarled. ‘And begone, or else my faithful valet shall slay you!’

***

David is sorting out some clean washing.

David was sitting on a bench outside the kitchen porch of the restaurant with a large basket of washing beside him. When he heard the clicking of Irakli’s leather soles, he looked up with a bleary gaze. Irakli felt a pang of guilt, but he was going to make good for this morning’s success, so he clutched his gift bag and sat down on the bench. The basket was between them, creating a certain distance as had been custom ever since the pandemic, but he was still close enough to elicit a grumbled greeting from the other man.

‘Bro, you smell like a duty-free airport perfumery.’

Irakli sensed David’s unintentional hostility, fished a pack of Astras out of the bag and offered him a cigarette as a token of reconciliation.

They both lit up, blew out smoke and stared at the mess in the courtyard.

‘I-rak-li…!’ a venomous, high-pitched voice sounded from the flat over Mr. Beerakli’s Pub. ‘Did I tell you that you could take my car this morning to drop off Aleko at the airport and to meet your idiotic business partners? I didn’t, did I?’

‘It’s O.K., Merab, I’m only having a smoke with your brother!’ Irakli roared back. ‘I’ll be up in a sec.’

Merab now leaned over the railing of the veranda on the first floor. He was dressed in faded house clothes and wearing an old rag on his head like a bandanna. In his right hand he held a mop as if it were a spear. He looked at Irakli and David and then at his Mercedes, snorted and went back inside.

‘Merab has continuously suffered from PMS ever since he quit smoking,’ David observed. ‘I never knew that men could be like this…’ He sighed. ‘Well, Sopo has kicked the habit as well, and she’s in no better state, but it’s different with women.’

Irakli nodded, too confused to speak. He had been with women, he knew how they were, but all this had turned into a parallel universe ever since he had been in love with Merab. Love was supposed to be a ride in the sky, a fun fair of joy and bliss, but in Tbilisi, or rather in this little realm that was completely owned and ruled by Sopo, it was overtaken by everyday life, and everyday life in modern Tbilisi meant that men not only suffered when their lovers were doing major cleaning, but were also expected to help with household chores.

[jezabatlovesbats]

I don’t know if I posted about them already, like I do with most things. But I had a bunch of old ideas for Unikitty episodes that younger me was going to send to the creators of the show. I put them in this big yellow envelope, but you know they're not going to take ideas from a stranger, let alone a fan, so I never did.

I actually once sent a letter to Telltale Games before it shut down, meaning this isn't the first time I've done something like that. I can show you what other parts of 2018 me were like if you want, like I did in the video I made for Big Bright World’s anniversary.

I also said that I was planning to write an anthology novel with the chapters being "episodes" that take place between the events of the Big Bright World books, and I'm going to redo SOME of these ideas. I can't and couldn't make them canon, and I don’t know why I wanted to in the first place, but at least I have fanfiction! Also, Sarah was Estelle's name in the twins' earliest versions.

I tossed the documents of the ideas out, so all that's left in the folder are profiles for Imogen and Pepper and crappy drawings of them. I had to scavenge old notes from my notes app to find the ideas themselves.

(Magic mirror from Shrek voice) And heeeeeere they are!

Sing a Song of Sadness The Unikingdom's having a karaoke night, and Master Frown drops by to ruin it for people, but Unikitty sees it as an opportunity to get him to sing with the gang. He resists at first, but then Unikitty discovers something about him she's never known before. That something is, “Even though I was never any good, I had fun doing karaoke with my friends, but something, something, wah wah wah, they left me.”

Brock's Biggest Shock This is an idea I had for an ep that's centered around Brock because I think the show deserved one where he's the focus alone. Most of the time, he's with Master Frown. Anyway, Brock finds out one day that his channel is getting boring to his viewers, so he decides to shake things up by doing something new. 

Night Fright In this one, Unikitty's scrambling to calm Puppycorn down when he develops a fear of the dark. I think he seems like the type of kid who'd be like that, and Unikitty, being the supportive big sister that she is, would definitely want to help him.

Gloom Service Richard gets fed up by the way he's treated by the others, so one day, he quits his job. Even though he tells them not to, the gang follows him to his new one, discovering that he's now working at this fancy hotel. They want him to come back, but they first have to look back and see why he wanted this.

Hawkspeare This one's pretty simple. It's where Hawkodile learns to express himself through poetry in his efforts to confess his feelings to Dr. Fox. He turns out to be pretty artsy thanks to said poetry, and the doc doesn't know what happened to him. 

Happy-Are-We Academy Dr. Fox notices that the people around her aren't very bright and starts thinking she can fix that by making them a tad bit smarter. To do that, she opens a school, subjecting her friends and the citizens as students. The school's called Unikingdom University.

Bicker No Quicker A simple argument between Unikitty and Puppycorn escalates into a fight between a lot of other people besides the siblings; after them comes the rest of the gang. As the quarrel spreads across the entire kingdom, Unikitty is clueless on how to resolve the conflict.

Smooth Lil' Doggy This one is inspired by Rock Friend and is supposed to be some kind of sequel to it. In it, Unikitty is thrilled to hear that Puppycorn has finally made some real friends, but she wonders what he could be doing when she finds out they're all girls. Pepper, Maya and Annie would have debuted in this idea, and I thought it up before I created Ringo.

It Must Be Magic Presenting my idea for Imogen's debut episode, which tells the story of how she met Brock and Master Frown. After getting kicked out from her own home, she grows interested in those villainous but wacky roommates, and she tries to charm her way into their hearts. Frown, of course, is stubborn about not wanting to be her friend.

Drama Pains Unikitty decides she wants to put on a play for Richard, but the problem is that she and the gang don't know too much about theater, so it's total backstage chaos. She's trying her hardest to get things all set up and get the cast in order for the show.

Eclipse Ripped An eclipse is about to cast over the Unikingdom, and Dr. Fox, being the astronomy nut she is, want to see it more badly than anyone else. She already has a full to-do list for the day, though, so she worries she won't be able to.

Uninet An episode idea where you get to watch videos uploaded to the internet by the people of the Unikingdom (and also Frowntown). Some of them are dramatic, some of them are funny, others are all cute and happy.

I had to fish these next ideas out by memory because they weren't anywhere in my notes. I typed them out on a document, but like I said earlier, I threw the documents away.

Doggy See, Doggy Do Puppycorn isn't a very popular kid in the Unikingdom despite being a prince, and when he notices how popular Hawkodile is, he makes it his mission to be more like him, even dressing up like him.

The Tooth About It Unikitty and Puppycorn are just happily eating pizza one day, but then Puppycorn feels a pain in his mouth, and once Unikitty sees what's going on in there, it's decided that he has to go to the dentist. However, Puppycorn's one of those kids who are terrified of going. This idea, of course, came before Tooth Trouble was announced.

It's a Loud Life It's a quiet night and Richard wants to watch his favorite show, The Real Housewives of Unikingdom, in peace, but Unikitty's holding a super loud party tonight (I think it was a sleepover), and Puppycorn's lady friends from that other idea come over for it. For the next couple of hours, Richard tries to quiet them down. I'm pretty sure It's a Loud Life was what I called this one, and I thought it up before Late Night Talky Time.

The Happiest Cat In The West Unikitty and her friends tell a story set in a version of their kingdom with a Western twist. Sheriff Unikitty and her friends embark on an adventure to protect the town of Rainbow Gulch from their sworn enemies. I vaguely remember this one, but I do recall that it was an idea for a 30-minute two-part special, like Unfairgrounds and The Birthday to End All Birthdays.

I still believe that what the show was missing was an Easter special. I wanted to see what the Easter Bunny looked like in this world.

[tsuki-sennin]

Japan's current greatest soap opera, Avataro Sentai Donbrothers! It's not just a Tsubasa episode, but a Sononi episode, more importantly! What shall come of this incredibly turgid passion play of a dog and a condor that I just simply cannot stop watching? What's Murasame-kun's deal? And most importantly, will Haruka attain her driver's license?! Only one way to find out~!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Ah,

-"How do love work???" I've been asking myself that for years, Miss.

-Ohhhhhhhhhh... I forgot about... the penguin.

-You'd better be holding out, Jirou.

-Here we see Sonoza, evolving into a master swordsman just like a manga.

-...or, I suppose Murasame just needs some time to himself, that's wonderful of him.

-"Mother, I crave violence."

-I've actually been doing the dance in my off time, it's really difficult but fun to try and get right.

-Oh that's cute, Haruka's helmet has an oni on it :)

-Oniga Mirai!

-Is the town we're in called "Oniga"? Mirai, Mirai, Mirai... Timeranger?

-Ohhhhh, Haruka's got Mad Racer Baron drivin', don't she?

-...I mean, Naoto's actor is in Geats so I'm not exactly surprised...

-Oh yeah, Haruka's an adult now. Trust me, it ain't getting any easier.

-Ohhhhh, I feel that Haruka. I'm 21 and I still don't wanna get my license. My permit is gonna expire soon too...

-OH MY GOD, HARUKA YOU KILLED THE LADY IN THE TOMORROW RESEARCH JACKET

-Oh, she's alive

-Oh hey Tsubasa! I forgot, you were the reason I was so excited for this episode.

-"Murasame! Kill him!"

-Nooooo, my blorbos are fighting!

-SAN SHARK!

-Ohhhh, he down

-Hello, Sononi.

-"The blorbo from my show is dying. If I cannot see his progress climax in a happy ending, then I shall write his death with my own feather quill instead of Sir Inoue's!"

-Can't do it, huh?

-Even when doomed to die, he still thinks so hard about her.

-Wait, you can't see?

-Sononi, no, don't do that.

-SONONI WHAT THE FUCK

-INOUE

-Oh hey, that's Hiroyuki Matsumoto! He played Nephrite in the live action Sailor Moon show and Gamel in OOO!

-Both shows by Yasuko Kobayashi and appearing in an episode that's a tribute to a Sentai also by Kobayashi, funny that.

-Braceless.

-Haruka, did you learn how to drive from Spongebob?

-Very professional, sensei!

-If only we had walkable cities all over the world, smh

-She's a bird, Tsubasa.

-You don't know, huh?

-Blind Doggy

-Murasame-kun doesn't stand for catfishing.

-"Mother, why has my friend betrayed me? :("

-Don't think! Feel!

-Sounds like absolutely horrendous advice for driving, but

-YOU WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE GOING BACKWARDS OMFG

-Tsubasa was starstruck, huh?

-How kind of him.

-I really have to wonder how Murasame-kun's viewing all this.

-Shark attack-!

-Pachelbel's Canon?

-STAB

-OH SHIT HERE COMES SEYAMA

-You can't call the cops! He IS the cops!

-Okay Sononi, you're kinda making up for all that.

-OH HI TSUYOSHI

-Your wife has an umbrella and a car, doesn't she? ...on second thought, it looks pretty terrible out there, I'd wanna stay home too.

-Hello Crane Lady! That other bird (literal, and metaphorical by "woman" slang definition) from Ideon Tsubasa's entangled with got stabbed and clawed!

-Tsubasa's so desperate to be with Natsumi again, he just "hugs" her without a second thought...

-Yeah, you feel bad, huh Sononi?

-OH THE DOG CAN SEE NOW

-Ooooooh, he's mad!

-Yeah, that's totally reasonable

-And so the dog and bird run off into the storm.

-AND HARUKA'S STILL FUCKING DRIVING

-HARUKA I WAS KIDDING WHEN I SAID "MAD RACER BARON" ARE YOU ON FUCKING CRACK

-Y'know, there were probably like a bajillion other ways you could've gotten that info out of him.

-YOU FUCKING RAN HIM OVER YOU MONSTER

-ONI SISTER!

-"She slammed that car into you. Kill her harder."

-Drive-by! Hit the deck!

-This is fantastic.

-"Mother. I must recharge my batteries. It is nap time."

-Ohhhhh, that's not good. Seyama got the sword.

-Hello, Miraiki!

-Oh, everybody's here!

-Hello, Tarou! Your show has not had you in it yet today!

-Shinichi, Jirou!

-Yeah nice headbutt InuBrother. Totally knocked somebody out.

-LET'S GO, SONONI!

-Daaaaamn, you got him!

-Okay, okay, okay!

-Okay! Okay!

-Taken out of a dramatic moment by time

-Oh shit, time warp.

-Oh, never mind!

-We're just...

-Doing this now!

-That was fruitless!

-Okay!

-"I'll serve you this time instead!"

-Ninja Dog now has Ninja Shark!

-"Kill Crane Lady, and your one true love will return."

-Ohhhh, her eyes be glowin'

-Good on you this episode Sononi, you were great even if you didn't get to really fight today.

-Haruka can now drive!

-Legally.

-"RUN MY COMPANIONS!"

-Christmaaaaas~!

-Wait

-OH MY GOD, THE NOTO ARE SANTA

-Like

-Collectively.

-That's very nice of them :)

-Hahaha! Christmas Festival is coming soooooon~!