#does the onion know what you did for them and pay you back out of kindness? or is it because it knows you're the key to survival

[luxrayz64]

does anyone else ever think abt ai no uta. the song released in tandem with pikmin 1, and included as an easter egg in pikmin 2, sung from the pikmins pov about how they are aware of and embrace their own mortality, how disposable each pikmin is, how they'll follow their captain to the death even if the captain doesn't care for them. "today again we'll carry, multiply, fight and be eaten" can anyone hear me. it's so dark in here

[bi-writes]

you're cooking when you notice him. you finish dicing the onion on your cutting board, and when you look up, you smile when you see the looming shadow that takes up the space behind your curtains. (mercenary!ghost x fem!reader, 18+)

"hi, spooky skeleton," you giggle, turning around and dropping the onions into the pot. the sizzle warms your apartment, and when you turn back around, you smile wider when he's come out from the shadows, closer, already on the other side of the kitchen island and only a few steps away from you.

he's geared up. vest thick and heavy strapped to his chest, the hood of his rain jacket over his head to further conceal the skull mask he wears. he stands tall, back straight and eyes narrowed, what little you could see of them. you put the cutting board down, twirling the kitchen knife you hold in your hand before holding it out in front of you, putting the sharp tip against the center of his chest.

"slow down there, big boy," you coo. "did you do as i told you?"

he snarls a bit before fishing a phone out of his pocket, tossing it onto the counter. you look down at it, watching the video playing. it's your mark, slobbering in tears, begging for his life. he pleads, holds up his hands, shakes his head, says that he's sorry in every language he knows until there's a satisfying hole in the middle of his forehead, a lone trail of blood making its way down his face. you think it looks like he's crying tears of blood. it's oddly poetic.

you look back at him, meeting his dark eyes, and you draw your hand back, setting the knife down. with your other hand, you drag your knuckles down the side of his masked face, puckering your lips and blowing him a dramatic kiss.

"such a proficient one, you are," you murmur. "what is that? third one this week?"

"want m'prize," he growls, and you step closer hooking your fingers into the collar of his vest and blowing him another kiss. then, you reach for the kitchen drawer next to you and pull it, taking out a thick envelope and handing it to him.

"you're making them very happy, ghost," you tap the plastic of the skull, giggling. "they like you a lot. got time for another?"

he clicks his tongue, tilting his head to the side, and you squeak when he reaches down and grips both sides of your ass with two big hands. you laugh, but it turns into a breathless moan when those hands slip under your skirt and tug at the lace of your panties.

"i want the real prize, want wot 'm owed," ghost says lowly. you stand up on your toes, pressing your mouth to his over his mask. you let your hands fall, pressing on the backs of his hands, encouraging him to slip a few fingers under the lace and prod the entrance of your sticky cunt.

"you want it, baby?" you whimper. "do you?"

"yes--" you feel him bite from under the mask, and you stick your tongue out, licking over the line of his bottom lip, your pride swelling when you feel how shaky he breathes as you tease him. "give it t' me--"

there it is. now i have you.

"well..." you press your pelvis to his, rocking against his fingers, and he hisses when he feels the way you soak the fabric of his gloves. he wants to eat it, he wants to have you, he wants what he was promised. "gotta do somethin' for me first, ghost. gotta job for you. can't pay you for it though, not the way you like."

you think you see him smile under the mask, the corners of his eyes crinkling as if he likes what he hears. as if he knows what it is you will give him if he just does as you say.

"y'know wot it is tha' i want, don't you, swee'eart?"

yes, you think, and you respond by giving the front of his mask a kiss, one you think he reciprocates by the way he cradles the back of your head.

i know what it is that you want because...i want it, too.

[rahhhhhhs-blog]

How the Spiderman would react to you dodging their kisses

༻꫞ 𝑀𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑠 ꫞༺

Miles is a very shy or rather awkward person.

In public he's shy with his affection often seen as closed off.

He loves hugging and kissing you but in private. It gives him a sense of comfort and love.

You were sitting on his bed. He was chilling at his desk drawing, the music was quiet in the background as the window was open so a breeze could go by. All you could hear was the sounds of New York and the sounds of pencil scratching paper. After a while Miles sighed putting the pencil down and moving to lay next to you. He smiled and moved to give you a kiss but you moved last minute. "Y/n? what's wrong?" he looked at you confused. "Nothing, I just don't feel like kissing right now. Sorry" you spoke placing your phone down. "Oh that's fine. You don't have to say sorry" he did feel awkward at first and didn't know what to do, but he doesn't question it.

☆࿐ཽ༵༆༒ 𝑴𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒔-𝟒𝟐༒༆࿐ཽ༵☆

Now for this Miles, we've seen how he is. He seems more... aggressive? a 'cooler' version (depends who you ask)

I think he would be more confused and sassy about it. Let's face it, he's ruler of the sassy man apocalypse

He's the same as the other Miles tho, he keeps his affection more on the dl. Only because of enemies as the Prowler.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't want them, in fact if you don't give him at least one kiss. He's throwing a bitch fit.

Y'all were at the bodega getting snacks for a movie night. It was your turn to pick what to watch and you wanted to get his favorite snacks, so you won't hear him bitch and moan about the movie "Ma? you done?" Miles walked up next to you. "Hm? oh yeah, I'm done now." You looked at him and gestured to the snacks. He nodded and moved in to give you a kiss, you of course blocked it. Not because you just don't want to, but because people walked in and you know he doesn't like to be so affectionate in public. He looked at you weird and rolled his eyes walking to the cashier. After y'all (he) paid you both walked to his apartment. "So I was thinking we could rewatch Mean Girls." he just hummed. "Sure whatever." You looked at him and sighed "what's up with you?" he stopped walking and side eyed you. "You dodged my kiss like I'm one of your lil hoes" You just shook her head. "the only hoes I got are your other personalities, Miles. And I dodged it because other people walked in." Mid way through the sentence he kisses you before pulling away and walking ahead of you.

♡*♡∞:｡.｡ 𝐻𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑒 𝐵𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑛｡.｡:∞♡*♡

We all know Hobie. (for like 3 minutes but I'm not complaining.)

He doesn't believe in consistency. But one thing he DOES believe in? is you.

He LOVESS your kisses, he's practically a bitch in heat for them.

He doesn't want them he NEEDS them. So imagine his shock when you dodge him.

You were laying down on the couch reading. It was a quite and relaxing day, so you decided to relax from work. Suddenly your tall, lanky, and quiet loud chained up man is walking in. He had a meeting at the Headquarters so he was tired. All he could do while listening to Miguel was yawn and imagine being with you. (in more ways that one🤞) "Doll, there you are. Been going crazy all day." He took off his spiky jacket and laid on top of you. You put your book down and lightly scratched his back, he let out a sound of relief. "How was the meeting?" he grunted and moved forward. "Was shit like always." He moved to kiss you but you moved your hand to cover your mouth. "Fuck was that for?" He gave you a mug. "I ate onion dip, my breath stinks." You tried to reason. "Who cares? kiss me for fucks sake." He moved to closer and kissed you anyway.

▂▃▄▅▆▇█▓▒░ мιgυєℓ σ'нαяα░▒▓█▇▆▅▄▃▂

Miguel is a rather... aggressive guy. (don't say he isn't we all saw how he treated miles)

He'd probably be at work a lot and so are you, I mean the bills don't pay themselves. So naturally he would want a kiss before leaving

He doesn't know if he'd get the chance to see you again all day because of both of your work hours.

So let's say that you woke up late and you didn't have time to take it slow like you naturally do

"Fuckk!" You rushed around getting dressed and making coffee. Your husband Miguel watched idle. He tried to help but all he got was a 'Not now' he knew better than to do anything so he stayed still as to not get in your way. After you rushed to get ready you flattened your hair down as much as you could and grabbed your cup chugging it. Miguel watched you with love filled eyes...no literally his eyes were in the shape of hearts I'm not kidding. You moved to give him a kick pat on his shoulder and yelled "Good luck" to him. He frowned and grabbed your arm to give you a kiss but you pulled away hurriedly. "I'm sorry Miguel but I gotta go! I'll visit you during lunch!" And with that you were gone. He was sad you didn't kiss him but he just shrugged it off. You did keep your promise though, you visited him during lunch and made it up to him.

[valeria-garza-enjoyer]

Mx. Sinister

Valeria Garza x Fem!Reader

omg my first cod fanfic guys can i be apart of the club pretty pls :3

Oh you never seem to notice… When I follow you home

She was a normal, functioning member of society, she just did what was best for Las Almas in an… alternative way.

What can I say, drugs bring in a lot of money. A lot a lot.

Too much, she’s decided. She needs someone to spend it on, someone to spoil. It’s been nagging at her for quite some time, to find some dainty little bachelorette in her town and make them hers, to lavish her in the most delicate gold jewelry and finest silks. To make a pretty young thing her hermosa perra. Her vida, her amor, her florecita. Her florecita, who she’ll open up and make bloom, whether on her own or otherwise.

In the dark of your apartment… When you think you're alone

Finding her florecita was easy enough, she has ties all over the world. She could, quite literally, get anyone she wanted with enough phone calls and deals made. No, she wants someone local, someone she’s seen when she goes for her morning coffee. And she has the perfect idea of who to take when she overhears some phone calls she definitely should not have heard.

You.

Apparently, money is tight in the family, something something a family member is genuinely thinking of selling their girls into sex slavery or at the least pulling them out of school to work, something something more and she finds out you’re about to be kicked out of your apartment.

So she swoops in, slowly, like a leaf falling from the highest branch of a tree with no breeze to carry it.

What will it take? What else should I do?

She buys you your morning coffee and breakfast, making small talk. She thinks you’re absolutely beautiful, absolutely and positively hers. Her hands linger as she hands you your coffee and puff pastry, her cold and nimble fingers somehow comforting.

“Well, mi florecita, I heard there’s more openings in my cartel if it helps. I can make some special exceptions for you and your family, keep you out of the front lines. How does medical, or maybe logistics, sound, querido?”

You blush at the kindness of what is at least a stranger and at most distant friend, turning down the offer. Of course you turn down the offer, ever the sweet and caring soul. Too scared to “take advantage” of someone’s kindness.

How far must I go to prove… That I love you?

So Valeria doubles down, walking her to work after her morning coffee, making sure not a single mutt in Las Almas soils her florecita. Her closest men track and follow you like shadows and bloodhounds on a scent trail, learning your every move and routine.

So she just so happens to be shopping at the same time as you, talking about what would make a good dinner.

“Oh, well I haven’t had sushi in a while, but the one sushi restaurant is far too expensive to justify right now.”

Valeria’s eyes light up, and she smiles softly, grabbing the bag of onions for you.

“Sushi? I was going to go there tonight, why don’t you join me, mi florecita? On me, don’t worry about a single thing. You’ve been working harder than a mule, you deserve to take a break. What do you say, sweetheart?”

“I- well I… I mean I guess I can pay you back later…”

“Nonsense, there is no “paying me back later” chica. We both want sushi and you need a break. I'm offering, why don’t you just come with me?”

“Fine, fine Valeria! When do you want me to be there?”

“How about seven fifteen, seven thirty, hm? Does that work for you?”

“Seven thirty works for me, see you then, Valeria!”

“Of course, chica. See you then.”

And I'll get you yet…

Money shows up randomly in your purse, starting off small until you notice a few extra twenties padding your wallet. You think nothing of it, maybe you really are forgetting all the money that was in there.

But the extra padding in your savings account doesn’t go unnoticed. You had almost nothing in there to keep up with bills that you couldn’t pay from your checking, and now every time you check it goes up in almost indiscernible increments. You can’t tell anyone, it’ll sound like fraud or insanity.

But Valeria knows. She sees it in how you carry yourself now. You’re not on the brink of starvation or homelessness anymore, you order an extra large instead of a large coffee. You look in shops as you two walk, wondering if you should actually get that dress.

“That’s a pretty dress, no?” Valeria comments, noticing your gaze drifting towards the display. You nod a little, eyes drawn to the light sage green silk dress, stopping just above the ankles. Flowy like a river, form fitting and revealing in just the right places. You simply can’t take your eyes off of it until they wander to the price tag.

Oh. Even with the new padding your wallet and savings have, it’ll hurt. You smile and look away, continuing to walk with Valeria.

“It is, but I gotta save for it. It’s just a little out of my price range right now.” You reply dismissively, looking in other windows, noticing every stunning dress is just out of your price range.

Just know I'm not the sinister type…

So what else does Valeria do? She calls in an order for the dress with your exact measurements, tailored to every curve and inch of your body.

You see it in the corner of your eye when you come home from work one day, stopping dead in your tracks.

I never bought that dress… It was too expensive, it was way out of my budget! What the hell?

You look for a receipt, a tag, anything to prove you bought it. Nothing. Just the most eye catching and stunning dress you’ve seen in ages, sitting in your closet like the cardigans you wear every day.

You try it on. It fits like a glove, to your horror. Or excitement, you can't really tell. All you know is that the dress alone makes you feel like a doll, porcelain and precious. The silk hugs your curves, accentuating each dip in your skin and every soft crevice. You look at yourself in the full length mirror and blush, twirling around to watch the skirt of the dress twist and turn with you, buttery smooth and effortlessly elegant.

But I'll get you yet…

Valeria comes over some time later and smiles as she peaks into your room, seeing the silk dress in the closet.

“So you bought that stunning dress and just didn’t show me, let alone tell me? Aye, mi florecita, I must see you in that silk.” She chides softly, a little teasing.

But she’s got to see you in that dress. The dress she bought for you. The dress she broke into your apartment to put in your closet while you were away. The dress she thought of as your dress, no other person in the world could ever wear that dress. It belonged to you, was meant to be on you. She couldn’t have it any other way.

She’s not sinister. She’s desperate at this point. Her actions are not only motivated by lust, no, she just wants to see her florecita flourish.

“I… okay, just give me a minute, Val.” You mumble, pushing her out of your room and changing into the silk dress quickly. You smoothen out the bodice area, looking at your slightly protruding tummy. You’ve never worn this out in public, in front of anyone but the mirror. What will Valeria think? Will she think it’s ugly? Will she laugh at yo-

“Santa María, madre de dios, mi florecita…” She murmurs as she opens the door, her dark brown eyes boring into you. You look…

“You’re lucky I’d rather not crumple that silk, chica, or else I’d be ruining you for the world to see.” She whispers as she comes close, her rough hands landing on your love handles and squeezing them, rubbing small circles into the silk covering your midsection. “You look like the statues in Greece, mi alma.”

You look up at her and blush. She’s never been this… blunt… before. Never been this handsy or possessive.

But the facade is back up after she leaves. She simply let her mask slip when she finally saw you, dolled up and delicate in that silk. She couldn’t stop herself, she just had to touch what was hers.

She bought you the dress. And you wore it, for her and only her. You’re hers, she’s decided. No one else will have you. Never.

I've got to make you mine…

But her world crumbles a little and she sees red when she finds you flirting with a man, a man under her command of all things. She keeps cool, smiling and laughing, gossiping about him like you’re two school girls.

“Well, he seems nice enough, mi florecita. Just be careful, yes? Men are dogs, no matter how sweet they seem. They all have teeth and they have bitten before.”

“I will, Valeria. You know I will. I trust you with this kinda stuff.”

She smiles, coy and conniving, and squeezes your hand.

“Good.”

Just know I'm not the sinister type.

So she tracks this maldito cabrón down in the middle of the night.

He’s rather low in rank in her cartel, she’s pretty sure she’s never even seen or heard this pigs name until her florecita muttered it.

She really wants to take it slow and be the non-sinister woman you know her as, but when she sees him screaming at a woman in his house, she loses it.

She slips in the back window and sits in the corner of his room, pitch black and unseen. She makes sure her knife is unclasped and ready to draw, her handheld locked and loaded.

“Luis Sánchez.” She calls out, cold and annoyed. “What are your intentions with the girl?”

He sputters, looking for any weapon in his vicinity. Valeria laughs.

“I see why you haven’t ranked up a single spot in my cartel, Luis. After all these years you’re still stupid enough to leave without a weapon.” She gets up, stalking towards him.

He tries to punch her, but Valeria dodges. She kicks him, sending him to the floor. She puts her boot over his neck, pressing on his windpipe.

“Luis Armando Sánchez, born March 16th, 1992. Mother, Camila Araceli Sánchez, deceased. Father, Diego Manuel Sánchez, imprisoned for life, charged with first degree murder of Camila Araceli Sánchez. Imprisoned from 2008 to 2010, 2011 to 2014, and 2015 to 2016, all for battery and assault, third degree murder, and drug use. What are your intentions with the girl?”

He looks as white as a ghost, or all the crack he’s stolen from the cartel while working under her.

“If you don’t start talking in ten seconds you will find yourself in so much pain you will never be able to walk again. Speak, chucho.”

He blabbers some half-assed lie about his love for her florecita, his love for her personality over her looks. She grabs him by the collar and drags him into the street, kicking him in the ribs to shut him up. He can’t yell if he’s gasping for breath with punctured lungs from broken ribs.

“Don’t you ever lay a hand on mi florecita, do you understand me, cabrón?”

He nods his head quickly and panicked, terrified for the first time in his life. His jaw is forced open with her boot and he's positioned on the curb, teeth digging into the cement. He whimpers, saying a mumbled Hail Mary.

“Our lady of Guadalupe will not save such filth. Tienes cuerpo de cerdo, Luis.”

And then he screams, his jaw cracking as Valeria stomps his head into the curb. Teeth break and his jaw cracks, blood pouring from every pore on his face it seems. He cries out for his mother, the mother he didn’t even cry for at her funeral.

She stabs into his achilles tendons, severing them. Then she strips him, leaving him bare like the animal he is for some poor soul to find in the morning.

Maybe she is the sinister type, especially as she carves “cerdo” and “chucho” all over his body. He deserved it, really, for trying to soil her precious florecita.

Oh you never seem to notice… That my heart beats for you…

You come to her a few days later, sniffling. Luis broke up with you, how shocking.

“Oh, mi preciosa florecita, he broke up with you? I’m so sorry, chica.” She coos quietly, rubbing your back as you sit next to her on her velvet couches. You don’t even think to connect the dots that maybe she had a hand in his brutal assault.

“He was so nice! And then he says this isn’t working out and he won’t even let me come by to get my things! What did I do wrong, Valeria? I was kind, patient, accepting, I made time for him, I cooked for him, what did I do wrong? We both wanted to wait, I don’t understand…”

“Oh, mi rosa, no no no… you did nothing wrong. He was just a wolf in sheep’s clothing, obviously wanting more than you agreed to. I know it hurts, cariño, but it’s for the better. You’re so sweet, so beautiful, he doesn’t know what he’s lost out on.”

“You… you mean it, Valeria?”

“What do I gain in lying to you, pequeña paloma? I speak nothing but the truth, he didn’t deserve you and you deserve much better. Don’t settle for him just because he threw some pretty words at you and promised to pay for the first date.”

“Thank you, Valeria. You’ve got no idea how much that means to me right now.”

She smiles, soft and genuine. She lives to see you smile. Her heart beats for you and only you.

“It’s nothing, love. Just maybe come to me about a future partner next time before you say yes, okay? We can’t have you sobbing every month because another man decided you weren’t worthy of his time.”

“Oh hush!”

Your soft giggles fill the room and you slap her arm, rolling your eyes. She’s whipped for you and everything you do. She has got to have you.

So I'll open you up… And make yours beat for me too…

After your breakup with Luis, the gifts and money start up again. More twenties and fifties, even a hundred or two, line your wallet. Your savings is alarmingly large, it wasn’t even this big before your family fell into trouble. You don’t question it anymore. If someone wants to help you pay your bills, by all means, go ahead!

Large bouquets of your favorite flowers show up at your desk and front door, notes mostly blank besides the occasional “Love you”, “♡︎”, or “Flowers for the beautiful flower”. The last note should alarm you, make you realize that this is Valeria slowly circling in on you, her prey, but you can’t help but blush and ignore the warning bells when you feel so happy and sweet with every bouquet.

But the icing on the cake is when you go walking with Valeria again. The dresses catch your eyes once more, and one makes you stop and stare. A midi dress this time, a soft white with pastel pink apple blossoms on it, spaghetti straps with a bow on the back. You simply can’t tear your eyes away until you note the price tag, hissing silently. Sure, you may have the money for it, but it’ll be tight for a while if you actually bought it.

It’s in your closet two weeks later. You didn’t buy it, you didn’t even make a comment on it to Valeria, but she knew. She knew it was just like that sage green silk dress she bought months ago, that you could and would find a million different little reasons to not buy it.

“I haven’t seen that dress before, chica. Did you buy it recently?”

“Oh… u-uh, yes, yes I did, why? You like it?”

“I sure do, mi preciosa, but I think it’d look better on you and not on a clothes hanger. Try it on for me, won’t you?”

And how can you deny her?

You walk out of your room a few minutes later in the fluffy, flowy dress, soft white heels to match and a necklace you found in your jewelry box that Valeria definitely didn’t have a hand in getting. Pink diamonds weren’t cheap, but to see a chain of soft pink diamonds around your neck?

“Aye, mi florecita, just as beautiful as last time…” She groans quietly, gripping your love handles and drawing you close, burying her head in your neck and inhaling deep. That Miss Dior Eau de Parfum she got you doesn’t do any favors, only making you more…

Feminine. Floral. Precious.

She has to physically pull away from you, rubbing gentle, possessive circles on your soft hips to stop herself from marking your neck up and letting every single soul in Las Almas, no, all of Mexico, know you’re hers.

“Thank you, Valeria… you’re too kind.”

“I only speak the truth for mi narciso” She purrs, cupping your cheek and rubbing the fullness with her thumb. “You are truly more beautiful than life itself in this dress, florecita.”

And I'll get you yet… I've got to make you mine… Just know I'm not the sinister type…

She circles you like this for months, getting closer and closer, cutting out all the possible love interests in your life.

Then she has to cut out your family. Easy.

She gives each member of your family thousands of pesos to cut contact, to leave you isolated. She’s got the money, it’s no problem for her. Any rat in your family that demands more once she’s given them their share is simply… handled.

Valeria holds you in her arms as you sob, wondering why your family, your flesh and blood, cut you off so suddenly. You’ve been thicker than thieves with your family since the family business went belly up, giving almost every single cent to your siblings and parents to keep them afloat, even as you drowned.

And this is how they repay you? By simply texting you “do not reach out. We do not want a relationship with you anymore.” and blocking you? You’re not an angry person, you’re too sweet for that.

So you sob like a little girl who fell off her bike for the first time, wailing into Valeria’s shoulder, wetting her shirt with tears and snot. She’s all you have at this point, besides your job.

Until your boss calls you in.

Only days after your entire family cut you off, no more than a week. He tells you you’re no longer a viable employee at the company. They have to cut corners, and compared to the others, you’re just not worth saving.

So she’s once again sobbing in Valeria’s arms that life isn’t going her way. She feels like a spoiled brat, sobbing and wailing in her only friend's arms. She’s got expensive dresses, costly jewelry, and large, extravagant bouquets in her house, and yet she’s sobbing about how she has nothing now.

She feels like she’s wilting. She was given too much water all at once and now her petals droop, once tight and sealing her soft and sensitive core away, now peeling back to expose it to the mastermind of her suffering.

And I'll get you yet… I've got to make you mine… Just know I'm not the sinister type…

“Oh, mi florecita, mi dedalera, you’re far too beautiful to cry like this.” Valeria hushes your sobs, pulling you into her lap and rubbing your back. She places a delicate kiss to your forehead, as if she uses anymore force you’ll simply crumple into dust.

“You look like you’re wilting, preciosa. Too much stress.” She muses, combing her other hand through your hair.

“Just let go, mi alma… let me take care of you. You could move in with me while you get back up on your feet, hm? Free of charge, no strings attached. You just move into my place and relax, yes?”

You whimper, burying your head into her chest. It’s too good to be true, you know it. Nothing good has happened in the last week, why will this be good?

“Shhhh, mi florecita… when I say something I mean it, don’t I? I know what’s going through that poor head of yours, I know you too well. Come live with me, I’ll help you get back on your feet.”

So you move in with Valeria.

And I'll get you yet… I've got to make you mine… Just know I'm not the sinister type…

And she spoils the ever living shit out of you.

Soft pastels and pink everything. Flower decor and patterns, floral and fruit scented everything. She holds you close every night in the living room, petting you like you’re her treasured pet. To her, you are.

She’s won.

She’s got the prettiest woman in Las Almas in her lap every night, making her whimper and blush at the soft touches and praise she lavishes her in. She’s got her dainty little bachelorette to spoil rotten.

Valeria takes you shopping every weekend, buying you the frilly dresses you want right there and then, an arm wrapped around your waist possessively in every store. She watches your eyes dance across the mannequins, stopping at the one to the left.

She knows that look. She leads you to the mannequin, rubbing the fabric of the dress in her fingers, bringing it up to you.

“Is this one calling you, mi florecita? I can see why, it’s calling me, too. I think you’d look good in all three colors, but the pink and cream one just…” She squeezes your waist, sighing.

A beautiful evening gown, floral print. Slit up the thigh, fluffy layers, Sweetheart neckline, puffy short sleeves. Oh, it would go so well with the lingerie she just bought you in the previous shop, pastel pink lace with a few small bows.

“I like the pink and cream, too, Val…” You mumble into her side, shy and quiet. The thought of being so… dolled up, after losing everything, is still weird to you. But the dress and the lingerie, the new perfumes and necklaces with matching bracelets and rings she showers you in make it hard to decline.

Valeria smiles down at you, kissing your forehead and caressing your hip. She custom orders the dress in shop, knowing your measurements by heart. You wonder when she learned your sizes…

And I'll get you… I'll get you yet…

“Come on, mi peonía, let's get home before the rain starts. I would hate to see my little flower so cold and pouty” She croons over you, guiding you out of the shop. You didn’t even get a chance to look at the price tag of the dress, she just bought it without blinking.

At home, you curl up in her lap, sighing softly as rain pelts the roof. She pets over your entire body, starting at your hair, going down your spine, and going back up to start again.

She was never sinister. She just wanted her precious florecita. And she has that now.

“Mmm… mi alma, you look so beautiful like this, all curled up in my lap. Like you belonged here all along…”

She rubs your hip, kissing your forehead as she does so. So affectionate, so soft. Your mind is constantly fuzzy and slow from the amount of praise she lavishes you in, unable to question any of her words or actions.

“I'm so happy you came to me so willingly, let me in so easily. You’re far too trusting, mi narciso. And that’s what I love and hate about you. It scares me how easily you trusted what’s his name… but you trusted me so easily, and look where we are. Is it really such a bad thing?”

I've got to make you mine… Just know I'm not the sinister type.

I do plan on making a part two (smutty) but idk when :3 posted to ao3 first

have fun !!

[panelshowsource]

If you had to pick a top three favorite episodes of any panel shows EVER, which would you choose? One of mine would have to be Terry Wogan guest hosting old NMTB, which I am dying to watch again in my lifetime. Your old-NMTB-posting reminded me just how amazing and formative those old episodes were for me. Anyway, it got me thinking… I would love to hear yours!

as long as i'm allowed to answer this totally subjectively...! because the objectively most iconic panel show episodes are probably quite different to the ones i gravitate to especially for rewatching — and especially in this difficult recent climate 🫥

this choice is almost bizarre knowing me, a huge huge huge sean lock fan, but this episode of cats does countdown — without sean! and not even golden era, probably, whatever that is in my mind — is so ridiculous and chaotic and stupid that i've watched it about 1000 times. there's something very specific about the dynamic between jimmy, jon, roisin, and joe without sean; those four have been in quite a few episodes without sean and they're like actual children without an adult in the room: jon is goofier and completely lets go of the game, jimmy throws even more to roisin (we do not talk enough about what a fucking kick jimmy gets out of her), roisin and joe's insane sibling dynamic becomes next level. anyways—this episode, which includes rly funny mascots, glory hole, the fucking hoop game and joe eating an onion and jon eating peppers???, THE UNICORN, its sheer childishness just cracks me up every time :') (if we're gonna mention the golden age, 2.02 is very iconic — from rhod killin it and always arguing with jimmy to claude to nick x susie hahaha but i have sooooo many catsdown episodes i love love love)

i really love the episode of 8 out of 10 cats following jimmy's tax scandal. it's not one of my favourite panel shows in general, but the circumstances of the news and the discussion epitomised what the show was meant to be: panel show meets reality tv meets a comedy central roast. watching that live, as the news was running it so heavily that even the prime minister mentioned it, as the press and twitter were reacting to it... wild times. it holds up incredibly well — it's hilarious watching them rip him to shreds, because he deserves every word and they're having a ball doing it to him, and i really appreciate jon grounding the conversation in just how tax avoidance hurts their country and some of its hardest workers — a really interesting, engaging mix of comedy and anger and wit and disappointment and political commentary that is not only funny but strikingly relevant no matter how much time passes. like so, so many people who were so, so disappointed in jimmy, this was the foundation of his carrying the responsibility, shame, reflection, and growth that people wanted to see — and that he truly needed to. since then he's talked a lot about not only righting the wrong (in paying back what he owed in avoidance) but just how the system is so broken — and taking the least complicated, most honest road forward since.

now i want to pick 1000 different things this is why i don't make lists or rank things!!!!! while my instinct is to pick a big fat quiz, i'm actually gonna go top-level nostalgia and say this episode of buzzcocks when stephen fry was a guest. what can i say — simon, stephen, it was two intellectual, mildly bitchy homosexuals on a stacked panel including josie long, dominic cooper, and yet another skinny white rock man for simon to pretend he's not trying to flirt with. stephen saying "there is a history, in pop music, of recto-veginal insertion" and denouncing god, like, in the first 5 minutes? stephen doing the intros round?? did i mention history boys-era dominic cooper??? such a throwback!!! (not to cheat but this ep with josh groban & martin freeman is my runner up)

i want to apologise to big fat quiz, taskmaster, wilty... THE WHOLE HISTORY OF PANEL SHOWS... I WISH I COULD CHOOSE YOU ALL

[gramarye]

speaking of my list of ygo by treatment of its female characters so far. its so insanely long well. sorry.

sevens : really good marvelous awesome. women are treated as equals in my honest onion and everyone rocks. i <3 yugioh sevens. i love you romin i love you rayne (WEIRDO!) i love you princess g i love you atachi mimi i love you asana i love you tiger etcetcetc I LOVE YOU YUGIOH SEVENS

gx: it's not Great with what it does with asuka and rei but it's somehow still less offensive than all of the other ygos below it in this list. asuka gets to be pretty cool and again, even tho there's several episodes about her being courted at least they let her come out on top whenever guys are trying to get to her and they never do weird sexual shit with her in a way that is as obvious as in the other yugiohs. YES THE BAR IS THAT LOW I THINK! SAD! and she gets as much as spotlight as say, chazz, kenzan, sho, or the likes. if you disagree btw you were not watching yugioh gx and should try to pay attention to women again. asuka is a really good fleshed character by gx standards. rei is also pretty fun, i love her, she has her little moments and she's Not limited to her love shtick, she has really fun beef and duel with chazz for example and has a neat role in s3 and all that. ALL THINGS CONSIDERED: ITS PRETTY NICE! they did an ok job! its very hobbyani and shounen but its not offensive w/ the women!

5d's: like.. it started off really good then they just kind of forget about aki. i will never let them live down the "benchwarmer" thing and guess what. THEY WON'T LET ME EITHER BECAUSE THEY MADE MERCH OF HER WITH THAT TITLE LIKE A YEAR AGO OR SO !!!! sherry is pretty cool though and oh i love carly. carly is good i just wish they didn't kinda ... roll back her progress with jack , it's like they had to make him hate her again for the haha funnies and because he couldn't be nice now in the 2nd half. idk. ruka is fine i just think its hilarious she has a kuriboh with huge ass girl eyelashes i will attach it to the bottom of this post. made sure we know this is a #GIRL kuriboh

DM: its like . okay. anzu doesn't do much i am sorry. i love her it's just that they let her have a few duels and that is it. the #og cheerleader. I LIKE HER! i just think they should let her do more. she has really good scenes outside dueling though and is very integral to the friend group and everything though so :) yayyyy anzu. mai is really good but remember when they. okay this is anime specific BUT I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANIME SO !!! but remember when they kept her in a coma in like marik's special hell world for literally like 50 episodes. like. it was so fucking dire fifty whole episodes. Bad. AND THEN THEY MADE HER GET POSSESSED LITERALLY IN THE NEXT ARC? VILE. rebecca etc are all fine they werent there for super long but i like them. all in all it was OK wish there was more fleshing out. 5d's still did it better and had more memorable women more in the spotlight i fear. but 4 is not a bad ranking here DM is like alright not too offensive

zexal: ok its like... i don't think tori not dueling in itself is a Crime but it's sad they don't let her when she expresses in the anime wanting to duel . why not let her !!!! plus it'd tie really nicely with rio who i think rocks, but i do NOT understand why they had to have rio duel tetsuo who her only tie to was him having a crush on her when she was besties with kotori and it wouldve been a nice way to tie up their friendship and tori's desire to duel..anyway. CATHY AND ANNA ARE NICE its just that i feel like. anna rocks sooo hard but her whole character is wrapped up in her thing with yuma. they should've come up with another plot for her after i think taht would've been nice but it's not that big of a deal it's still pretty cool. train girl forever. also yuma's sister is cool <3 i think this is kind of a tie with DM actually . also they make at least one weird sexualizing skirt length joke with kotori so um. HOP OFF MY 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND STOP BEING WEIRD

vrains: AUTHORS NOTE I HAVENT FINISHED VRAINS YET but ive seen a good amount and my vrains oomfies concur with these ratings. blue angel gets into a coma within 10 episodes and is really good at getting her ass beat unfortunately. ghost gal is pretty cool but shes also out there getting her ass beat i think she only wins once like its so fucking dire out here they will NOT let these women win like they just take one L after the other. and theres really no other women there. um. its just kind of an L overall they just don't let the 2 cool women do anything. like gx only really had asuka and rei but at least they let them be cool and fun i DON'T SEE THAT HERE... love them both though. also shoutout to soulburner's npc girlfriend i think shes funny and im glad she exists

arc-v: literally im sorry i havent finished arc-v either but ALL MY ARC-V OOMFIES WHO ADORE THE SHOW CONCUR. IT'S SO BAD. ruri and rin are like barely characters. serena is cool yuzu is cool until she isn't and THEY HAVE HER LOSE TO AN ADULT MAN USING BDSM MONSTERS AND IMPLY BEING SEXUALLY GRATIFIED BY IT? ITS REALLY BAD. THAT EPISODE ALONE WAS SO BAD IT TOOK IT DOWN 50000 SPOTS IN THE LIST AND I HEARD IT ONLY GETS WORSE. LIKE ACTUALLY CRIMINALLY BAD. MADE ME GENUINELY UPSET. also asuka is there and shes kind of a girlboss until they kill her like really badly and in a humiliating manner. like. Okay. they build it up soo much just to let you down so terribly with the girls.

undecided: go rush its still ongoing but i have watched all 115 episodes so far or whatever and it was like based and epic and poggers in season 1 but um the treatment of the girlies has been going downhill. i have a lot of opinions. i dont know what to say about it. it just declined a lot for the most part. yuamu girlboss though they're kind of making some progress again. i need to give it a rewatch when it's done airing to sort my feelings on it.

addendum btw here is the #girl kuriboh ruka has in 5d's. kind of a slay

[captainpains]

Attack of the PTA moms (Sergeant Hunter x reader)

I am so proud of the title lol. Also all of my Hunter fics are aus 🤷‍♀️ I am slowly making my way through my @clonexreaderbingo card. And as always, enjoy 💕

Prompt: "Do you trust me?"

Warnings: gn reader, modern au, mean PTA moms, unwanted flirting, implied infidelity, mentions of sex.

Note: the word cousin in this fic is being used as a gender neutral version of aunt or uncle 

~~~~~~~~

"Dad!" Omega yelled.

"Yes?" Hunter yelled from upstairs.

"Dinner's ready!"

"I'll be down in a minute!"

He stood up from his desk, stretching as he did so. He'd been working all day, opting to work from home because Omega was off from school.

Hunter jogged down the stairs.

When he turned into the living room he saw Omega sitting on the couch. She had a plate in hand with some pizza on it. 

Hunter walked past her, ruffling her hair as he went. 

He grabbed his own plate and placed a few slices of pizza on it. He then grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He went back to the living room and sat down next to his sister, now daughter. 

"So, what are we watching tonight?" He asked her.

"I don't know. What do you wanna watch?"

"Chef's choice."

Omega happily opened Netflix and chose the movie The Glass Onion, a movie that had been high on their watch list for a while. 

"Did you get your homework done?" Hunter asked as the opening of the movie played.

Omega nodded, her mouth full of food. Hunter didn't press, she was always very on top of her work.

"OH! Don't forget that the bake sale is on Friday. Makenzie's mom said that you were in charge of bringing cookies."

“Alright, thanks for the reminder, kid. I’ll be sure to make those.”

“Thanks Dad!”

Hunter smiled. He was still getting used to Omega calling him dad, but it made him all warm knowing that Omega was comfortable enough to call him that.

————

Friday came and like every school function, Hunter forgot to make the cookies. So, he just bought them from the store on his way to the bake sale. He knew he’d get judgemental looks from the PTA Karens, but he’s busy providing for his family. 

He walked into the school’s cafeteria, where the fundraiser was being held. There were a lot of PTA moms buzzing about, preparing for the event. There were also a couple of volunteers that Hunter had never seen before. Probably forced to be there by the PTA president at the fear of social ostracization.

“Oh, Hunter!” A shrill voice called.

Hunter silently cursed. He turned around and plastered a fake smile on his face as Karen and her groupies approached him.

“Hey, Karen. Where can I put the cookies?” He politely asked. 

“Oh…Store bought again? I thought you’d put more effort in this time, Hunter.” Karen mocked, fake niceness in her voice. 

“Well, you know…got really busy at work…”

“Well, if you perhaps if you spent more time with your family-” “Omega and I spend plenty of time together. We eat dinner together every night, and we eat with my brothers at least once a week. Just because my life looks different than yours doesn’t mean it’s worse.” Hunter bit back. 

“I know, but-”

“Where do you want the cookies, Karen?”

Karen frowned (at least as much as her botox would allow). She pointed towards a folding table with two people standing there, arranging the contents of the table. Hunter gave one last glare to Karen before brushing past her to get to the table.

You were organizing the cookie table, trying to make it nice but easy to see everything. You were not really paying attention to what was happening around you, keeping your head down to avoid the wrath of one of the PTA moms. You were brought out of your focus when a handsome man practically slammed a grocery bag with cookies onto the table. It caused you to jump.

“Ahh, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya,” he apologized. “Karen is just… frustrating.”

“I understand. She’s something.” You agreed, picking up the bag he put on the table.

“I just just don’t get it. What kind of sick joy does she get out of criticizing my life!”

“Makes her feel better about her miserable life.” Hunter chuckled at the joke. It was always nice to hear the gripes of other volunteers. It was a moment of bonding over the shared hatred.

“She is very…rude to everyone outside of her posse.” Hunter huffed.

You gave a small smile at his comment, knowing that he probably wanted to use some stronger language. Hunter returned the smile as he properly looked at you. You were fairly attractive, and the clothes you were wearing were simple and practical yet still nice. He wouldn’t admit to checking for a ring on your finger, nor would admit to a strange feeling of joy at not seeing one there.

“But, we all have to put up with her,” You added. “She is the PTA president.”

“I hope she loses the next PTA election.”

“Don’t we all?”

“I’m Hunter, by the way. Omega’s dad.”

You gave him your name. “I’m Tina’s cousin, guardian now.”

“Cousin?” Hunter cocked a brow. In this school district, it wasn’t comen to see another single parent. Most of the moms would rather be in an unhappy marriage than face the shame from Karen for being a single parent. It was part of the reason most of the other single parents gave up in trying to help with PTA functions.

“Very long story.”

“Well, how about, I’ll give you my number. Then, you and I can, maybe, go get dinner sometime?” Hunter was surprised by his boldness, but his brothers did say that he needed to put himself out there. He hadn’t had a partner since, shit, highschool? No wonder his brothers had gotten more pushy.

Hunter was buzzing with joy when you gave him your number. He was smiling the whole drive home. He messaged you that night, and when you responded he felt butterflies in his chest. As the two of you talked, you both felt a strong bond grow, bonding over your shared experiences with the PTA. He also found that you both enjoyed movies and would send movie quotes and memes to each other.

However, Hunter didn’t see you again until it was time for another PTA fundraiser. Whenever the two of you tried to schedule that date, something always came up and one of you would have to cancel. 

Hunter was happy to participate in the fundraisers. He liked helping Omega’s school, but he could do without the judgment of the PTA moms. 

This time it was a small carnival. It had a couple of games, snacks, and two inflatables. Omega was looking forward to it. Hunter was dreading it. The idea of being surrounded with the chaos of a carnival was not something he was looking forward to. It would put his senses into overdrive. But, Karen loved torturing him. 

Hunter stood, grumpy look on his face, behind the folding table with an inflatable ring toss game on it. He was pissed when Karen set him up next to the gymnasium, where the inflatables were. He knew he was in for a long day.

Hunter was brooding over his torment, when he saw you walking into the cafeteria with Tina. Tina waved to her friends and ran over to them. You had a tight smile on your face as you scanned the room. You and Hunter made eye contact. You started to walk over to the table, when Brittney, one of Karen’s groupees, came up to Hunter’s booth. 

“Hello! I’m just making sure everything is going well for you,” She said, a somewhat flirtatious lit in her voice.

“Oh, it’s fine over here. I think all the kids are too excited about the bouncy houses to want to play games right now,” Hunter said.

“Well, kids are like that.” She gave a fake sounding laugh before reaching up to adjust her revealing top (something that was definitely not suited for a school fundraiser). “I was wondering though, you must be so stressed with all the work you do.”

“I-I try…” Hunter uncomfortably responded, noticing the flirtatious look in her eye.

“Well, if you ever need some…stress relief, I can-”

“Hunter!” You greeted, coming around the table. You threw your arms around him and hugged him close. He felt your breath fan against his ear as you whispered to him.

“Do you trust me?” You asked him.

Hunter looked at you, then nodded.

You turned back towards Brittney, a bright smile on your lips.

“I’m sorry, Brittney. But my partner here has all the stress relief that he needs. Maybe you should ask your husband before you ask someone else’s.” 

Brittney gasped, offended for being called out. She pouted and stomped off. You turned back to Hunter, who looked relieved to have the woman gone.

“I’m sorry for stepping in. I know she can be… pushy.” You felt kinda bad for stepping in when it wasn’t asked of you.

“No, it was welcome. It’s hard to get some of the PTA moms to stop with their flirting.” Hunter assured you. “But…since you called us partners when we’ve never been on a date…”

“Iamsosorry! Ididn’tmeantolablethings. Iwasjusttryingto-” He cut you off with a laugh.

“I was just going to say. That now is the time that I take you on an actual date. Just like I promised.”

You smiled at him, “What did you have in mine?”

“Well, that new Marvel movie is coming out this weekend. So maybe we grab some dinner and go to the movies.”

“That sounds perfect.”

[pettyrevenge-base]

Friends called me a Fake Engineer, I bought their dinner.

My daughter 17, asked me to post this here. And Im the Dad who does as the women in my life tell me, which is how I ended up in a restaurant tonight with snobs. So the characters, my wife, wife’s coworker 1 and her husband arrogant engineer 1(AE1), wife’s coworker 2 and her husband my CPA, and Lastly AE2 and his wife. Each couple has two teenage children with us.

We are at a Japanese steakhouse in America where the chefs cook in front of you. CW1 and AE1 invited all of us for their youngest daughter’s birthday. Since their daughter is close with our daughter. So the parents are at one table and the teens at another. At the teen table my daughters (17 and 14) order sushi appetizers, mocktails, and shrimp with scallops. At our table the Sake is flowing along with a few top shelf drinks. My wife and I order our appetizers, drinks and dinners. We are all paying for ourselves and I see AE1 and AE2 seem to in competition for who can spend the most. My CPA and I chuckle at them and stay out of the fray. Until AE2 hears my daughter order and says to her, “careful now your daddy is only and agricultural engineer. He doesnt make as much as us real engineers.” For context they are structural engineers with Bachelor degrees, Im an agricultural engineer with a PHD. I work for governments, private investors, and several agro corporations. I own my own consulting firm. I help build sustainable reusable gardens. And this work allows me to travel to poorer countries and help them use what they have to start growing their own food. Apparently these men thought All I did was travel to impoverished places and teach people to dig in the dirt. They believed I did all this work for free and therefore made very little money. Im not “rich” by any stretch, but Im comfortable. We dont do extravagance, so we have savings and my wife works. However in 2023 I was awarded a handsome contract to design tower gardens in several states. Its a seven figure contract over three years. Back to dinner These guys ask me about the most ridiculous things. Like “is it good to grow onions and carrots in the same garden?” And were laughing at me and my work until their wives told them to stop. I chalk it up to drunken arrogance and dont even bother to answer. My CPA was laughing so hard he almost fell out of his chair. Apparently, he is AE1’s CPA as well. And knows the ins and outs of both our finances. AE1 taunts CPA to tell the table what he brought home last year after bonuses. CPA pulled up the figures on the phone and tells us. Its about 1/3 of what I brought home in 2023. The CPA says “I have yours up want me to share?” I decline. And he nods. Que another round of taunts. I go to the restroom and find the waiter. I pay for the whole check and leave a generous tip on top of what they added for a big party. After our sobert the waiter thanks me in front of everyone for the tip and wishes everyone a good night. AE1 and AE2 stare at me for a moment. I smile nod and tell CPA to tell them my income last year. After which I simply said goodnight. Petty absolutely, gratifying damn right.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[contentment-of-cats]

Just give me the coffee, I will do the rest.

Loki is settling in. Mostly, he wants to eat and sleep. The few times I have let him out of the Borg Cube, he's been out for 10 minutes, gets overstimulated, and runs back to his Safe Place. Right now he is learning how to play with toys, and loves his scratching posts and pads. He's been through so much. I have asked that the ex get a visit from his karma.

Unpleasant Subject Ahead

Another thing that this whole thing has driven home is how important it is to get your affairs in order - even if you don't have cancer. Loki's mom was getting a divorce and fell so ill so fast that she was unable to make her own medical decisions within days of admission. Even if you are getting a divorce, even with an actual protective order, your spouse is still the legal default person to make decisions for you. They are your legal heir. If you don't have a legal spouse (marriage certificate), it's your adult children, if you have no kids then your parents make those decisions even if you're a legal adult. If you have no immediate family, then your extended family gets called in.

Power of attorney legal and medical

Will for personal property

Living trust for investments and real estate

Medical orders (supersede those of the POA) such as Do Not Resuscitate

A health care directive like this one.

It's hard to think about, but when your surviving extended family is a mess (like mine) you want these things in order. Hell, have them notarized so that a judge can look at the plaintiff and say, "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Golden Treadmill

I'm strapping myself in with another 'write to spec' contract. Yep, it's more porn. I negotiated for one every six weeks from February to November. I need to visit Amazon and stock up on barf bags and brain bleach. I did say that I won't write noncon or (yes, this is a thing) racist tropes. It's hard for me to write hardcore body horror. I might be writing horrible porn in order to pay off my medical bills that makes my pussy slam shut like an angry clam, but I have standards. That being said, the editor delivered the advance to my freelance bank account and the outline to my inbox.

Whoo boy.

In my defense, I did not know that 'monster fucking' was commercially viable.

Cat in the Kitchen

Rediscovering food has been a wonder. As promised, my rearranged innards make it trial and error, but the errors seem to be self-correcting. Gut flora does come back, but I have not been brave enough to venture into my spicy Indian, Chinese, and Mexican foods.

I've been making casseroles/hotdish because they freeze well and sometimes the fatigue renders me incapable of anything other than pushing a button.

For casseroles/hotdish you need:

Vegetables: Frozen works fine. Canned is saltier, so if you go canned use 'less salt' brands. If you are using mushrooms, frozen, fresh or dried is best. I find canned mushrooms have a very weird metallic taste.

Starch: Potatoes, rice, pasta/noodles, bread. Yes, tater tots count.

Protein: Can be vegetable protein, beans, canned tuna or salmon, or meat. Smoked salmon is delicious in casseroles and soup, so I go to my local deli on Friday to get lox ends and trimmings.

Sauce: Canned soups (cream of ____), jarred or canned pasta sauce, or packaged cooking sauces and gravies.

Topping: Cornflakes, tater tots, cheese, potato chips, stuffing, etc.

Flavor: Dried herbs, onion and celery, garlic, spices.

Slowcooker meals are great, too, and follow the same rules as casseroles/hotdish. But my favorite caserole dish is my Gran's Lancashire hotpot - lamb neck chops, potatoes, onions, and more sliced potatoes on top for a crispy lid.

Back to work.

[echantedtoon]

Blooming Friendships Ch3 The Witch And The Ghosts

Subcon Forest was not a place for just anyone to enter and exit as they please. There was a reason these woods had such a feared reputation and was rumored to be haunted. Because it was. By the King Snatcher of Subcon(as he liked to refer to himself) and his ghastly assortment of minions and dwellers behind him as his undead army, anyone who went in NEVER came out which added to the entire terror of it all!!...Well no one except two women who were currently carrying flowers, plants, and baskets full of all kinds of cursed plants from within the borders of the ghastly forest that no mere mortal ever dared to come in. ..Besides a select few who had the Ghost King's blessing or who just didn't fear him of course. 

"Thank you so much for helping me collect all these ingredients. I swear some times they can be so hard to find. Good thing you're a plant expert huh?," the witch expressed with gratitude as copper eyes smiled over towards the woman next to her. 

The red head smiled back batting her own hand. "Nah. Ah'm just glad to get out of that spaceship for a while. Those tiny hallways aren't too good on the back havin' ta crawl through them all the time."

The witch nodded. "Yes. It can be difficult if you can't go through walls or know any teleport spells." She chuckled. "I wonder how Snatchy's doing watching the children by himself for the first time in a while?~"

Poppy shrugged but chuckled too. "I'm sure they'll be fine. The purple onion's not that incompetent. 'Sides he was watchin' 'em way before I came along."

"Hmm. True, true. In all my years of knowing him he's always been the kind to bounce back no matter the situation." Hazelle smirked. "Even if he does get incredibly stubborn and selfish about things."

"That's true like a big ol baby that one."

"Yep. Been that way for the five hundred and counting years I've known him."

....Poppy rose a brow and shifted the basket of plants in her arms. "About that. You know how Phi-..I mean Snatcher met me, but I don't you've ever told me how you ended up meeting the kooky noodle."

Hazelle chuckled before raising a brow and smirk back to Poppy. "Oh? Would you like to know? It's a simple tale really." Poppy nodded. "Alright then. It all started five hundred years ago when I was just a young witchling. I heard that the Subcon Forest was cursed and haunted and all the other rumors they still spread, but the promise of all those magical properties untouched was too much of a good thing to pass up.~"

***********************************************************************************************

Whelp! She was lost. Not that she was concerned mind you. She could still very well teleport her way out of here and to the safety of her own dimension or where ever she wanted to on this planet, but she wasn't giving up yet. Besides, it's been a while since she trolled around in such a delightful dark and dreary place like this. Chalk full with natural magical and spiritual energy that she felt course right through her very veins. She had seen a couple of these so called 'evil' spirits but they were nothing but small and meek. Looking like small scarecrow dolls or colorful worms attached to masks who fled when she walked past or stared. Not very threatening persey. but who was she to judge? The bag of dead plants and other things she found along the forest floor weighed down on her shoulder but she still smiled walking calmly through the fog and dead trees that slowly passed her. Yep. Completely utterly lost but she still wasn't worried yet-...Until something worrying DID happen. She was still looking around and not paying attention to where she was going so she shouldn't have been surprised when the ground suddenly swallowed her up making her fall backwards and yell out. What swallowed her up was a large flash of white and she felt herself get stuck up feet in the air. The white sheet felt like some kind of rucksack similar to the one she was using to carry her plants. But it was a dingy white from being hidden under a layer of dirt for who knows how long. Seemingly in some kind of trap. Well peck! How was she supposed to get out of this?

"Oh dear. This certainly is a pickle. Now who would do such a thing as set up a trap in the middle of a haunted forest?"

She was shut up when she felt the whole world shake. Knocking the poor trapped woman back onto her behind within the trap, what sounded like a humungous tree cracking and falling over with the shaking made her pause as the tarp swayed also caused by the shaking. The panicked cawing of crows as they flew to safety amplified whatever she was feeling, copper eyes looking around the tarp until they locked onto movement. SOMETHING. BIG. Was just outside the tarp. A shadow silently moved along side the outside of the tarp and her brow rose. Well that didn't look too promising. Now did it? SNAP!! The woman tumbled out from the bottom of the trap and her yelp was interrupted as she face planted the dirt. Dirt and small twigs sticking to her hair as she did. Purple. EVERYWHERE. Suddenly dark purple. Her head raised  as reality itself disappeared and purple warped her view everywhere. The same giant shadow suddenly falling over her and the booming raspy voice behind. 

"AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! FFFFFOOOOOOOLLLLL!!! YOU BLEW IT PUNY MORTAL!! NO ONE ENTERS MY DOMAIN AND WALKS OUT THE SAME!!"

She calmly got herself up and started dusting the purple soil from her pink and white outfit. 

"TREMBLE IN MY WAKE AS YOU'RE COMPLETELY UTTERLY HELPLESS!!"

She reached up to straighten her hat before turning around. ...And sighing seeing half her bag was split out onto the ground. Oh dear. Now she'd had to pick that up all over again. With another sigh she leaned over, grabbed the bag, and began picking back the plants up she collected. 

"NOW YOUR MORTAL SOUL IS MI-..," The weird shadow paused. Blinking his giant yellow eyes at the fact that this mortal before him...Was NOT trembling in fear. Or cowering. Or begging for her life....Or even reacting to him. Instead she ignored his entire existence as she picked up something....Making him instantly scowl. "HEY!! I'M TALKING TO YOU!!"

"I'm aware," she answered back standing back up once she had picked up all of her herbs and then turned her raised brow look to him finally. She took a moment to take in his entire long sixteen foot purple self and the scowl on his face. "...You are kinda hard to miss with how loud you are."

"Insolent little Peckneck!!," he roared leaning down to stare her face to face with a snarl. "Do you have any idea who you're speaking too! I am the all might Snatcher! You're in my forest and you WILL fear me!"

"Wow. You like to really to boast yourself up I see. Very egotistical I assume too."

"W H A T!?" Oh holy PECK. This spirit was mad now. Well...She assumed he was a spirit by how he looked and the magical aura he gave off. Pure and RAW spiritual energy. In fact...The most powerful soul she had ever come across. Fascinating..But still, who was he to boss her around like that? He hissed and held out a claw threateningly close to her face to point at her. Not that she flinched. Instead she looked almost amused really. "You have NO idea who you're dealing with! I CAN TAKE YOUR SOUL IF I WANTED TOO!!"

"I think you'd actually have to catch me first.~"

"YOU THE PECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?"

"A witch."

The ghost paused....blinking at such a blunt response from the smiling woman. It actually took him a moment to respond to her. "A....witch?"

She nodded. "Yep! Cauldron stirring, potion making, pointy hat wearing witch.~"

After a moment further his brow rose as he frowned. "Well witch or not you trespassed in MY FOREST and you're going to pay the price!"

"As much as I'd love too, I really can't stay. Shapeshifter is at home waiting for me and if I don't show he'll try to eat the bats again."

"HA! You can't escape! No mere mortal can escape my traps."

"Well it's a good thing I'm not a 'mere mortal'." With a smiled she held up her hand. "Chow.~" And snapped her fingers. Disappearing into literal thin air.

The ghost sat there stunned into silence. Stuck in his purple world with nothing but the trap for company.

"........WHAT THE P E C K!?"

***********************************************************************************************

"I wished I could've seen his face." Hazelle giggled as they passed the small old building that Snatcher usually used whenever he wasn't in his own tree house home. A sign labeled "Snatcher's Shack'' right in the ground right by it as they passed. "But I couldn't leave Shapey unintended."

"Uh huh." Poppy walked along right with her still carrying her basket and giving her a raised brow before shrugging it off and looking forward again. "Well that certainly sounds like something you would do. But what 'm missin' is how you two became friends."

Hazelle waved her hand. "Well the plants here turn to out to have many magical properties. So I had to keep coming back for more. He didn't give up trying to catch me for a long time but it turns out my magical abilities allow me to slip by his and over the course of five hundred years I guess he realized that it was useless to keep trying to grab me. So we made a little deal."

"Deal?"

She smirked. "At the time he was having some very nasty rivalry with Moonjumper, or so he says. Found out about my little blue ghost repellent potions from getting too close to me sometimes. Took some interest in them. So we made a deal. He'd let me come and get as many potion ingredients as I want and in return." She held up her basket with a little shake. "All I had to do was make him a small handful of blue potions every moon or so. I kind of feel bad for causing Moony some trouble with them but it's all fine now."

".....Speaking of which. How did ya end up meetin' that other kooky ghost anyways?"

"Moonjumper? Haha! Well that certainly was a much more pleasant experience than meeting Snatcher I must say. He was much more polite too....Hmm. But if I actually think about it...I actually met him a little while after Snatchy and I made our little deal."

***********************************************************************************************

 It was a quiet night. Except for the chirping of crickets. A gentle breeze swept through the cool air, and stars shone. Even though it was a peaceful night, not everyone was sleeping peacefully. Two eyes were wide awake enjoying the beautiful wonders of nature and all it had to provide to the silent melody of it's mistress the night and all her dark beauty as the world slumbered in her wake. On a normal day it would look so much different. Sunny. Birds singing. The world was filled with the happy screaming of children as they played and couples walked too and from down the paths or having picnics in the sunshine......Or it would have been if this forest wasn't haunted by vengeful ghosts and cursed on top of it. Not that she minded. She loved this forest how it was. If she wasn't living in her own magical hot spot this might've been a good place to live without unwanted attention. Her footsteps only adding to the magical melody taking place from her as they walked along the trees glimmer with dew from that morning fog.. The reflections shining like the stars themselves mirroring walking in some forbidden heaven of the night for them both. The wind blown around her and she shivered rubbing her body against a tree to keep up body heat to not catch a cold. Hopefully it'll work. The light reflected off of her eyes making it seem like they shined brighter than the world around them as she walked about looking past things. The glowing mushrooms and moon above being her only source of light in the darkness as she carried about her. Over her shoulder a bag of magical things like stones, herbs, plants, and other natural magical specialties one could only find right here in this forest. Luckily for her there was plenty to go around. 

But that did beg the question. Where was the exit again? There was barely anymore abandoned houses and by now she was just wondering around smiling enjoying the peaceful night. Her instincts began tugging her in a direction off the beaten path. It took those eyes a moment to realize that she were still going down a path, but it looked overgrown with dark grass and Dark trees all round them. Clearly no one had come down here in a long, long while. But that didn't seem to change the mood of the girl who never stopped tugging herself forward. Trees passed and the path was slowly starting to open up ahead of her. The trees parted ways to make a small clearing in the middle of the forest, but not too big of a clearing. It looked about the size of one of the houses she's seen. And smack dab in the middle of this random clearing was a small tree. Compared to the other trees in the surrounding forests this one was considerably smaller and had a smaller trunk than the others. This one must've been younger than the others before the Subcon Curse set in. Couldn't be older than a few years at most before then. She was easily pulled through the black as night grass and up to the small tree that stood proudly in the middle of the night grass. The air smelt heavily of grass and faint swamp gas making her head swim slightly. Her eyes memorized by the calmness of the area but blinked with curiosity back to her surroundings. Curious spot like this to be smack dab in the middle of a haunted forest, but oh well. This place looked as good as any to stop and take a brake. Her shoulder was starting to get sore from carrying the sack for so long and while he can teleport out anytime she wanted, but how else was she supposed to make a mental map of this place and the best patches for magical ingredients if she didn't walk around and look? The sack was plopped onto the dark purple ground and Hazelle soon fell after. Plopping herself onto the ground with a sigh. It would soon be daylight anyways, so she could take a break and walk around a little more in a few hours. Leaning against the tree and looking up at the stars above, she settled her tired body from her trip. She supposed she should keep going but right now it didn't seem any of that or anything else mattered. Not the moon. Not the stars. Not the past. Not even the wind that threatened to chill her to the bone. The wind blew some more rustling the dead leaves and driving the intoxicating swamp scent around her more. She was too tired and needed rest. With the moon looking down over her she laid her head down to rest and fell asleep...but not really. She wasn't really feeling sleepy-tired, more like if you ran a whole bunch and just needed a break like tired. So she crossed her legs, put her arms behind her head, and pulled her pointy hat over her eyes to block out the moonlight as she sighed. This was the life. No rules. Going at her own pace. Just relaxing whenever she wanted and doing what she loved. Just her. The wind blowing through the dead trees. And the sudden looming of a figure over her-

....Wait-

She paused. Uh OH. Here we go again. Her first instincts was to expect a giant looming shadow noodle with those grumpy yellow eyes staring at her...but that was dashed out the window when the magical aura hit her like a ton of bricks. This presence was...Powerful for sure. MUCH more powerful than the average Dweller or Subconite for sure..But not as powerful and almost intoxicating power fueled aura as Snatcher. So..There was no way it could've been him. The auras felt too different. So then that begged the question. WHO was right above her? At first Hazelle didn't move, only sat there unmoving to not alert the presence above her figuring out her next move. Not that she was nervous. Just...cautious. Never knew what spirits you would find in this forest after all. If she needed too, Hazelle could just teleport back to her home by snapping her fingers. But something did indeed catch her attention. The faint sound of...metal? Hmm. That was strange certainly. It-...It almost sounded like the sound of chains if someone moved them around. Calmly, Hazelle reached a hand up and grabbed her hat, pushing it up and out of her eyes. And what she saw right above her made her pause for sure. Because right above her floating around was a GHOST. But not one she had ever seen before. Mitch matched red eyes bore into her soul as deathly blue skin and a head of blue hair stared back at her. Whelp. She found the source of the metal noise considering that this ..thing wore chains around his wrist that dragged across the air whenever his arms moved. Strangely this spector sported some kind of orange-red suit and monocle over his right eye. His body seemed to shake and jerk around as if he was constantly being shaken. A strange sight to be sure. The two of them stared at one another for a moment. Before the she spoke.

"You know it is very rude to stare."

The thing seemed to be taken aback as he blinked before finally speaking. "O-Oh. *ahem* Y-Yes. How rude of me." Ah. So it COULD talk. Hazelle's brow rose now and a smile tugged on her lips. His (At least she assumed it was a he. It sounded like a man.) voice was different from Snatcher's. While the purple noodle's voice was raspy this ghost's voice sounded more smooth and echo-y. Almost sounded human..Almost. The thing brought his hands up fumbling for a moment as if not sure how to handle someone talking to him for a moment before clearing his throat and placed a single hand on his chest composing himself. In one fluid motion the ghost leaned down and extended his other arm in a graceful bow to her. "Greetings, Fair Maiden. Forgive me if my sudden presence startled you. But it is rare to see another person this far in the forest, especially a living one at that. Usually the ones I do see aren't so....'lively' persay or quickly fall victim to a much bigger threat amongst the trees."

"Oh. You must mean Snatcher right?"

Again the thing suddenly stared at her pausing and blinking. Before sputtering again not believing what she had just boldly stated in front of him. "I-....H-How do you-"

"You can say we have a little exchange going on." In response her hand reached over and grabbed the bag next to her. Lifting it up as he looked to it. "I make him a few knick knacks he likes and in return I can pick up a few magical goodies here and there.~"

The dapper dressed ghost continued to stare at the bag for a moment then back at her. Seeming to think something over in his head. "...I-....must admit..That was not what I was expecting to hear so ..forward of you just a few sentences into a conversation with a stranger."

She shrugged. "Well I wasn't expecting to meet another full body apparition in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night either."

.....He hummed. "Touche my dear." His face contorted to one of slight suspicion now as his brow rose. Leaning down to make eye to eye contact with the smiling witch. "But you mentioned collecting magical items." He eyed the bag again. "...Am I to take it you are some kind of wizardess or a sorceress? Perhaps a healer of sorts?"

"You were close with the first two guesses. I just so happen to be a witch."

Those red eyes popped open in surprise. "A witch?" She nodded. Hazelle could see the gears turning behind his ectoplasm turning as he continued to stare at her...before a frown appeared on his face as he hummed again. "A witch who is dealing with the Snatcher. Then, forgive my forwardness, am I being too blunt to say I assume YOU are the one supplying him those oh so lovely blue potions he took the hobby of lobbing at my head? I highly doubt he's been able to make them himself and the way they just suddenly popped into his possession is..highly suspicious."

"You are not wrong on that assumption," she said happily not even trying to hide it. Which made him blink in surprise. "But to be fair, I didn't have any idea what he was doing with them before now at least. I figured he was somehow using them against that vile ice woman who lives somewhere in the frozen territory there." She motion her hand off towards the woods and his head followed for a moment before looking back at her. "But a deal IS a deal. Any feud between you two or the ice woman has nothing to do with myself. Now does it? I only keep my word and end of the bargain and he does the same. I don't bother anyone here. That makes me a mere bystander if you will. Doesn't it?"

The ghost looked her over thoughtfully going over the words she spoke to him in his metaphorical mind. Before nodding. "Yes. An innocent bystander just doing business. I can understand that completely...But if I may give a word of advice." He pointed at her. "I would watch my back around that Snatcher character if I were you. He's the unruly type who wouldn't hesitate to sink his claws into an unsuspecting soul to backstab them."

"Oh trust me. I know that first handedly." She smiled. "But I do believe you haven't introduced yourself."

"Hm?...OH! You're absolutely right, Dear Lady. Where are my manners?" He once again placed a hand on his chest. "You may call me what everyone has called me for centuries now. I am known as The Moonjumper." She watched as he then extended his blue hand to her chains clanking. "And you are, My Dear?"

She smiled and placed her hand in his. "My name is Hazelle. Pronounced 'Hazel' but spelt with an extra L E at the end."

"Hazelle? Well then my dear. Allow me to extend my most formal greetings to you." Leaning her hand up to his face, he lightly kissed the lively fair skin with his colder lips.

***********************************************************************************************

"He was always so formal and old fashioned since the day I met him." Hazelle chuckled as the two stopped in front of Snatcher's usual home at last from their trip. "But I wouldn't change him for the world."

Poppy nodded in agreement. "Can't say I'm as fond o' 'em as you are. But I suppose that it's best that he didn't change. Ah know I wouldn't wish any change on the screaming purple noodle."

Hazelle nodded back. "Ah. But look at the time. I'm afraid this is where the two of us must part until next time. I'll be taking that bag from you now. Thanks again for lending me the hand."

"No problem." Poppy happily handed over the other bag and Hazelle wobbly juggled it into the same hand as the other bag, leaving one hand open. "Are you sure ya'll be able ta make it home ok like that?"

"Of course I will. After all." She smiled. "I am a witch.~"

With that Hazelle raised her hand and with a snap she disappeared into thin air.

[el-michoacano]

cilantro

Another deleted scene fic! This one takes place between Coushatta and Wiedersehen! Tagging @dolly-macabre, @lokisinsurrection, @seraphtrevs, @lady-writes-flanagan, @jugem13, @sword-day, @slainmanca and @cooked-out-euro-trash 🖤

READ ON AO3

.

"You got a shovel I can borrow, Ignacio?"

They were on the road when Lalo asked, and Nacho gripped the steering wheel just a little tighter. All he knew about this man was his name. Salamanca. That was enough to set him on edge. They'd known each other less half an hour, and they were driving uptown now, and Nacho had no idea what to think. All he could say was, "In the trunk." Were they going to bury a body already?

Lalo's voice pulled him from his thoughts, saying, "Turn left here."

Nacho did as he was told. Just play the dutiful henchman, he told himself. His knuckles were white. You got this. Unsure he wanted to know the answer, he asked, "Where're we going, anyway?"

"The nursery."

That wasn't what he expected. Unable to stop himself, Nacho asked, "You got a kid up here?"

Lalo gave him a brief wide-eyed look before he laughed, a warmer sound that Nacho had expected. "No, man!" There was a twinkle of amusement light up his dark, dark eyes. They were softer than his uncle's eyes, and Nacho did his best not to fixate on that. "A plant nursery!"

That was what the shovel was for, then. Nacho tried and failed to fight back a sigh of relief. "For herbs," he realized aloud. "Because you cook."

Still smiling, Lalo aimed a finger gun at him. "Exactly! You couldn't pay me to cook with the dried stuff. Tastes terrible." He wrinkled his nose as he said it. "Gonna get some pepper plants, too, maybe onions." He turned his gaze out the window again, drumming his fingers against its edge in time with the song playing softly over the radio. He'd turned the thing on the moment Nacho had turned the engine over. "Might be here for a while."

Nacho's stomach sank. He asked, "Are you taking over for Don Hector?" He normally wouldn't have bothered with the title, but he didn't know Lalo well enough to know if that was safe or not.

"Could be," Lalo said. He didn't sound bothered by the idea, either. How could he be so immediately comfortable so far from home? "Might be here until Tuco gets out, unless I can find someone else to run everything until then."

Nacho's stomach may well have been in his shoes when they finally pulled into the parking lot of the plant nursery. It was just a massive greenhouse, and it smelled of fresh dirt even before they stepped through the doors. It was muggy inside, occupied by a jungle of plants and huge stacks of bagged soils and pots and watering cans.

"Gonna need your help moving shit," Lalo was saying as he strode over to the selection of herbs that sat against the back wall of the greenhouse. "There's a lot we gotta grab." When Nacho moved to follow him, though, he added, "Three bags of soil, loamy, organic."

It took a moment for Nacho to process the order, but they parted ways there. He wasn't sure what loamy meant, but he found a few bags of soil marked with the label among the piles of their like, hefting them up and carrying them over to where Lalo was kneeling to inspect beds of herbs.

He glanced up from the basil plant he was studying, grinning and saying, "Look at you!" He rose from his knees, dusting off his trousers. "With arms like that, we'll make a gardener of you yet, eh, Nachito?" Lalo reached for one of the plants, plucking a single leaf and crushing it between his fingers. He held it out to Nacho, asking, "What do you think?"

Though he hesitated, Nacho clutched the bags of soil to his chest, leaning in to smell the crushed leaf. He said, "It's cilantro."

Lalo lifted his eyebrows. "But what does it smell like?"

Nacho wasn't sure how to answer. He shrugged. "Fresh," was the best he could do. "Kinda citrusy."

Tossing the leaf aside, Lalo said, "Smells like soap to me."

"You got that gene?" Why did that make Nacho feel superior? He only smiled when Lalo turned away from him again to check out a sad-looking oregano plant.

"Whole family does!" The reply came on a laugh. "A few of us're actually mildly allergic to it, but don't tell 'em I told you."

Nacho wondered, briefly, if you could kill a man with cilantro.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Making Prog-mess

For Day 2 of the Tedbecca Prompt Party.

No. 23 

The Girl Talk that Sassy and Rebecca had after Ted asked Sassy out and she turned him down included Sassy telling her that she did it because she knew Ted really wanted Rebecca - and Rebecca really wants him too

Ted Lasso / Rebecca Welton mentioned, somewhat redemption of Sassy (🙄)

~~~~~

“Marlborough Man asked me on a date. An actual real life date.” Sassy smirked into her wine glass. Rebecca feigned indifference and reached for the bottle.

“Hmmm. You said yes, I assume?” She asked, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Of course I didn’t! He’s a total mess.” Rebecca bristled.

“Well that’s as maybe, but there’s no need to be rude about it.”

“Oh, Stinky, you know I’m right. He’s got no idea what he’s doing here, his ex wife is dating their couple’s therapist, he’s feeling like a shit dad. Total mess.” Rebecca had no comeback. She knew Sassy was right, it had felt increasingly like her friendship with Ted was slipping through her fingers. Buoyed by the shots Keeley had given her at Ola’s, she was going to talk to him. Find out what she could do to help, let him know he wasn’t alone. But then Sassy had swept over to him with her big smiles and bubbly personality and as usual, Rebecca had felt that she just couldn’t compete. It had turned out that the nickname Stinky had well and truly lived up to its intention. While Sassy was around, Rebecca always felt inferior. It was a gift - having Nora back in her life, but Rebecca wondered if too much time and history had passed between them for her to feel the same about Sassy. That Sassy had essentially blamed her for staying in an abusive marriage and then climbed into Ted's bed while he recovered from a panic attack… it didn't sit well with her. She found herself holding back a little, not giving away too much. "... He is very good at being the team's dad - there for them, solid advice, blah blah blah, but he's not very good at following his own advice or doing what's right for himself. Obviously he loves the team, but he's trying to be in two places at once."

"Are you saying he wants to leave?" Rebecca was startled back into paying attention again. 

"He didn't say that in so many words, but I do think he needs another solution to his son being half a world away." Rebecca fiddled with the stem of the glass. As desperate as she was to have him stay, she would never consider getting between him and Henry. They sat silently, Sassy digging into the bowl of cheese and onion crisps on the counter. “There is another reason I said no, Stinky.” Sassy said quietly. Rebecca looked up sharply, furrowing her brow. “I said no because he just doesn’t feel the way he thinks he does about me. I’d be a placeholder.”

“I don’t understand?”

“C’mon Stinks. Use that big brain of yours. He wants love - he wants to give love and be loved, but deep down he knows that I’m not his person - we don’t have that and that we never will. I said no because it’s blindingly obvious that he’s in love with someone else. He’s just not ready to admit it yet.” Rebecca’s frown deepened.

“Michelle? Oh god, she’s dating the therapist and he’s still in love with her. Ohh, Ted.”

“You, Rebecca! I said no because the man is absolutely, well and truly, all the way gone for you. He is in love with you.” Rebecca laughed so hard she snorted.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Sas. There’s no way that Ted feels that way about me, no way at all.”

“Have you seen the way he looks at you? Because I have. I thought I’d figured it out when I came to the Villa match, but I wasn’t certain and then, oof!”

“Oof what?”

“Your dad’s funeral.”

“What?!”

“When he came in late? That little salute? He fucking sat there and sang when you couldn’t! And then at the wake afterwards when we said goodbye to you and Deb… well. It was written all over his face to be honest. Nothing happened that night by the way. We just had some drinks, talked about you mostly.” Rebecca looked baffled.

“I’m just-, he can’t…” she gave up and stopped talking while Sassy grinned at her. She held up a finger, went to speak… and stopped, shaking her head. “Are you being serious right now?” She finally managed to ask. Sassy nodded.

“And I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Going with him after Ola’s. I shouldn’t have done that. I knew he loved you and it was a shitty thing to do. I’m sorry.” They fell silent again, until, “fuck me.”

“Huh?”

“Oh my god.”

“Sassy, what?”

“It’s you.”

“Yes, you’ve established that. I’m still not quite with you there, but-”

“No you knob, it’s you . You love him too.” Rebecca snorted.

“Now I know you’re talking shit.”

“I am not. You do, don’t you?” She leaned forward on her elbows, seeking out the eye contact Rebecca was avoiding. Did she? If she’d gone to him at Ola’s would she have pushed back that piece of hair that always fell out of place, maybe placed a hand on his leg, been a little bolder? And then what? Her eyes widened as she finally looked at Sassy. “You do!”

“Fuck… I think I do.”

“I know you do. I’ve just realised you have exactly the same look that he does. Now do you believe me when I tell you he loves you?”

“This is… too much. It’s too much, I can’t process it all.”

“Stinky, he loves you.” She nods firmly, “and you love him.”

“So what the hell do I do about it?”

“Well, that bit I can’t do for you. I think I’ve helped more than enough. Oooh it’s exciting!” Sassy giggled, Rebecca was still looking shell-shocked. 

“Is it? I think it’s fucking terrifying!”

“It’s about time you had something good in your life. And when I tell you it’s good, it’s really very, very good.” Rebecca held up a hand.

“Nope. Do not do that, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know.”

“You’ll find out for yourself soon enough.” Sassy said, wiggling her eyebrows. “Now, you just need to work out how to tell him.”

“I’ll do nothing of the sort!”

“Well you can’t just ignore it. To be brutally honest, your poker face is fucking terrible. Now that you know, I see no way that you’ll be able to disguise it.” She shrugged. Rebecca sighed, defeated.

“I guess I’m fucked then.” 

“Oh darling, you will be.” Sassy said with a patronising pat on her hand.

Rebecca’s laugh echoed through the kitchen. 

[eldritchsurveys]

1187.

If you had $10,000 dollars right now what would you do with it? >> Pay 3 months of rent and then just keep the remaining for whatever I want or need until it runs out. When was the last time you consumed alcohol? >> I don't remember. A couple of weeks ago?

Have you ever broken a bone? >> I have not.

What type of perfume do you use the most? >> I have some roll-ons from Demeter that I use day-to-day, and I also have my Thierry Mugler Alien dupe.

What book are you reading, currently? >> I am an Executioner: Love Stories by Rajesh Parameswaran. I like it a lot but the first two stories definitely ripped my heart out.

Are you interested in creative writing of any sort? >> Sure.

Would you introduce the last person you kissed to your parents? .

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feeling for one another? .

Can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? . Are any of your friends virgins? .

Who did you last go out to eat with? >> Sparrow.

Is your ex a complete loser? >> I'm far out of the phase of disparaging people I used to be entangled with. What does the shirt you’re wearing look like? Where did you get it from? >> I'm just wearing an undershirt.

Who is the funniest person you know? .

Do you say sorry first? .

What do you look like right now? >> What do you mean, what do I look like? A person?

Who’s bed were you on last? >> Mine. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? .

Do you like to cuddle? >> I love to cuddle in realmspace. Don't know if I'd like cuddling in meatspace -- first I'd have to find someone out here that I'd actually want to be that close to. That's hard enough.

Is sex on your mind more than 3 times a day? >> Oh, absolutely.

What were you doing an hour ago? >> I was pacing around my room to get some movement in whilst watching TikToks.

Do you like it up against the wall? >> Fucking? Are we talking about fucking? It's a great concept but in meatspace it can get a little uncomfortable, painful even, depending on exactly what kind of contact is happening.

Do you prefer girlfriend / boyfriend or friends with benefits? >> These particular dividing lines don't make any sense to me, so I can't say.

Are you smiling? >> I am not. But my face hurts because I was just smiling very goofily at a video of Matthew McConaughey making noises for three minutes straight that a tumblr mutual tagged me in. Why is he the way that he is 🖤

When did you last eat pizza? >> A couple of weeks ago? At least. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? >> What things? Not that it matters, I don't really plan in the first place.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? . Who did you spend your summer with last year? .

Did you wear what you are wearing today for a specific reason? >> The specific reason of it being comfortable, yeah. I chose these pants because I just got them yesterday at the thrift shop and I wanted to see how they fit. Which is perfectly, thank the gods. They're very soft, too, and they have pockets. Best five dollars I could have spent. What was the last thing you ate? >> Birds Eye brand veggie rotini (as in, the rotini is made from veggies) with marinara sauce. Put sundried tomatoes and bacon bits and crunchy onions in it too.

Are you taking this survey in a place other than your home? >> I am not.

Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? >> I wasn't allowed to, no. Ice cream trucks do exist where I currently live. One of them neighs, for some reason, and I'll always remember the time when I was in the middle of some ~play~ and that fucking neigh went off right outside my window. Definitely a mood shift...

What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? >> There's no way I can pick one event as Thee Most Traumatic. The "complex" in CPTSD is there for a reson.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? >> Of all the things we get up to in realmspace, having babies is not going to be one of them.

Don’t you hate it when your cell phone dies in the middle of a convo? . If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? .

Would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? >> Sure, as long as I'm granted immunity from the law. Having to blow that 15k on bail or lawyers or court fees would suck.

Where was the last place you got completely wasted? >> Either J. Gardella's Tavern (RIP) or my house. Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? >> I haven't.

Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? .

When was the last time you drank alcohol? What was it? >> This is probably one of those surveys that is actually 3 surveys shoved together into one. As stated, I don't remember exactly when, but I know it was a Pearsecco.

Do you like where you live? >> I don't much care for it.

Are you going to any concerts or festivals this summer? >> I don't know anything about this summer yet, it's only March.

Have you had sex with someone you weren’t married to? Someone you weren’t even dating? >> I have only had sex with people I wasn't married to. I have also had sex with plenty of people I wasn't dating. Are you under the age of 18? >> I am not.

Do you have a job? >> I do not.

Are you going to school still? Do you plan on going to college? >> I do not plan on going to college.

Are you overweight? >> I assume not.

Would you get married at 18? >> Well, I didn't.

Have you ever been so wasted, you couldn’t walk? >> I have not, strangely enough. I've been so high on dissociatives that I could barely walk, but I could walk. I just looked like a really fucked up robot.

What is the last thing that you got really excited over? . Any baby names you think you might name your future kids? .

When was the last time you had sex? >> In realmspace, a couple of days ago. In meatspace, uhh... 2017? The last time I had the kind of sex that actually involved like, taking clothes off and putting things in places was 2015.

Who did you last hang out with other then family? . Do you remember the last boy you texted? What was it about? .

If you could go back in time and change things, would you? .

Has anyone had their hand in your pants today? >> No.

Do you like your dad? How about your mom? .

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? >> Both today and yesterday were just regular old days. I mean, yesterday I did go to the thrift store, which was different, but otherwise it was just... a day.

Do you have anything that belongs to your boyfriend/girlfriend? .

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it’s over? .

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? >> Well, it certainly wasn't drunk.

What’s your favorite color? >> Yellow/gold. Do you drink? >> Infrequently.

Do you smoke? >> Not tobacco.

Ever had a black eye? >> I have not. I don't think.

When was the last time you slept in bed with a member of the opposite sex? Who was it? . Did your most recent kiss take place in/on a bed? .

Has anyone seen you naked in the last 6 months? >> Yeah, because I live with someone and I don't care about being unclothed around them. How would you describe your current relationship status? >> Well. My legal relationship status is married. I don't have much use for the concept of a "relationship status" otherwise.

Have you ever shared food/drink off the same plate/glass as someone you like? >> I mean, I've done that with several people, not because I was romantically interested in them but just because I'm cool with sharing food with people.

Have you ever had a valentine? .

Have your lips ever gone numb from kissing? >> This has not happened to me.

Last person to cuddle with? >> Can Calah, as usual.

[roadtodeltarune]

Earthbound Week 1 Update

(PART 1/4)

I'm back! It took a couple days longer than I would have liked. I got sick and then had a power outage. However, this gave me plenty of time to play Earthbound. And aside from the power outage, I played a lot.

I'm going to do lots of comparisons to Mother 1 today, it's hard not to. I'll start off by saying my pace is incredible. I'm moving at lightning-fast speeds! I've gotten six out of eight melodies and have every party member. That's not even mentioning levels. Right now I'm in the high 40s-low 50s. In Mother 1, these would be end-game levels, but it's late middle game in Earthbound! (At least I assume I'm in the late mid-game)

Rewinding a bit, let me go over just how far I am. Last time, I ended off with the second melody. After that, I returned Bana(Paula) back to her home and talked to Everdred.

He gave me 10,000 dollars! At first, I tried putting it in the ATM, but that didn't work. So, I walked around Twoson, trying to figure out how to use the money. Going to the theatre, I talked to the Runaway Five, who recognized Bana and gave us tickets.

I watched the show and then talked to the Runaway Five again. They said they were in debt but when I used the money, they didn't take it. I went to the manager and gave it to him, paying their debt. Then, they offered to drive us to Threed to avoid the ghosts. This was all a happy accident. I forgot about the theatre while I was saving Bana and I hadn't tried going south yet.

In Threed, I talked to everyone. This gave me lots of info on the ghost issue, but I did this because Bana said we'd meet a new friend here. However, I couldn't find them!

Out of options, I decided to just continue the plot and went to the far end of the cemetery. I triggered a cut scene and...

I got kidnapped.

Bana tried calling out for help with her telepathy.

This was so cool! I got to play as Apple(Jeff)! It's such an interesting way to make the world feel bigger, the adventure feel grander, and build a stronger connection to the characters. I figured it would be like Mother 1, where I went to different towns and convinced a kid to join my team, like with Bana. I like this much more, however. Even though he starts at level 1, this gives me time to test him out and grow attached.

Compared to Onion(Lloyd), he's both lacking and better. I think it'd be better if he had more specific items like Onion's Laser and Plasma Beams, but he makes up for it by fixing broken junk. And he essentially does have Laser/Plasma Beam equivalents, but they're equipable now.

I soon got Bubble Monkey, a great addition to the team. Until proven otherwise, he's this game's EVE. Not because of his power, but because he's only in the game for a short time and I already love him. With him, I leveled up Apple a few.

I made my way to Dr. Andonut's lab. The journey wasn't too bad, it was actually pretty fun. But really? He hasn't seen Apple in ten years? He's like what, 11? Father of the decade award.

I took his saucer for a ride, going to save-

Ouch- Well, now Apple saves Bana and Straw(Ness)!

I explored a bit more, but it seemed like the only thing to do was battle this tent. Luckily, I saved Apple's Big Bottle Rocket for a boss fight, so the tent was gone fast.

Side note: I'd like to mention Apple's "Spy" ability is very useful, helping me know the weaknesses of enemies. When fighting bosses, my first turn with Apple is either Big Bottle Rocket or Spy.

After that, I was able to go down the grave, well, thing in the cemetery. It was a long, treacherous path. Lots of opportunities for leveling up, but not much for healing. I made it out though.

I found Saturn Valley, and I love these guys. The way they talk is funny and they're so nice. I feel like it's basically this game's version of Magicant. It's a funny place full of helpful guys where you feel safe.

Okay, I was going to stop this Belch-guy, because he's the leader of the zombies and ghosts; but after seeing him enslave the Saturns, I was mad, I wanted justice.

So the first attempt didn't go so great...

At first, I tried using the Fly Honey, because they kept saying how it's his favorite food, but that made him belch in our faces and take a bunch of damage, so I rewinded and fought normally.

Apple told me he was weak to hypnosis, so I kept putting him to sleep and wailing on him, again and again. It was only when I was about to die that I realized maybe I should hypnosis and then use the Fly Honey, so he couldn't burp. But it was too late.

On attempt 2, my plan worked. Nothing beats the Psi Juice, PK Freeze, and Big Bottle Rocket combo

After fighting barf incarnate, I washed up, drank some spiked coffee, found the 3rd melody, and visited the purified Threed. Time for the desert!

[galaxofmuses]

Mentorships Pt. 1

Preparing for a week , anyone expects the adventurer and part time hero of Gaia to pack and prepare their things. Unfortunately that is not the case for Sky.

They decided to some Zone hop into an unfamiliar warp ring and land on an unfamiliar alleyway. Scratching his head, as he looks around to see strange citizens and feeling well..the odd one out. As the strangers start to notice that he looks more alien than anyone. Trying to greet them with a wave and the others respond in panic and concern. Backing away with a panic, he enters a shop to hide.

Out of all the places it was Pigsy's noodles. 

With a sigh of relief and lookng up to see a customer looking confused and Sky putting his hands up, but realizes that this isn't going to fly and quickly puts his hands back in his jacket pockets. He finally speaks up at the seemingly unafraid stranger sitting at the bar. ”Y-Yo! Uhh....Smells pretty good over there.“ Skyler is trying to break the ice so badly. This particular stranger is clearly interested and especially noticing that their hands are unique. “Indeed, it is Pigsy's famous noodles after all umm...Sir?” The other blinks, but gets started now that the hedgehog actually rushed in front of him. The handshake gesture is ready to go and a grin. ”Skyler! It's nice to meet ya!“

The stranger smiles in return and accepts the hand. ”Tang, a pleasure Skyler.“ 

The two eventually start talking and explaining about Megapolis and Skyler explaining about their planet Earth or also known as Gaia. The two exchange so much information and Skyler does eventually order a bowl of noodles since the praise from Tang made him curious. Of course trying to calm Pigsy down from anger that Skyler did not order a single thing for a while. It can't be helped that Sky loves to connect with anyone every time they zone hops to a different place. On top of that, The food was actually delicious. The consistency of the noodles is perfect and bouncy, the char siu is perfectly cooked and the broth is simmered to the right temperature and last of all, the onions give the texture and crunch. It was a simple recipe and made out of love. 

As Skyler finishes his bowl of noodles and sees the bill slide towards them by Pigsy. With a confident grin, he hands him a couple of rings, then dawns on him that he forgot...it's not another Zone. Gulps and nervously looks as the chef frowns at them. 

“You think this is a joke? I run a 5 star establishment!” The pig cries out in frustration, but as Tang was about to correct that response, the chef retorts back to him. "Don't ya even think about it! I know you're gonna say another iou ,while you have another bunch of ious!” Tang chuckles in response as he puts his arms up in guilt. “Now now, they are a visitor. Why don't you give him a discount?” The chef was getting more and more aggravated and sees Skyler trying to collect his rings and almost fumbling. Pigsy furiously points at the hedgehog. “You! I dunno where ya came from, but you're gonna have to pay! For reals this time!” 

Meanwhile MK just finished another round of deliveries and does the usual shoutout. “Pigsy! I just finished myyyy....uhhh...Did I miss something?” With timing, Pigsy caught an idea, a solution. “Porcupine! You're gonna help the delivery boy!” 

Sky and Mk cry out in unison. “What?!” Pigsy roars with laughter. “...Can you handle these orders?” He dramatically points at the huge pile of fresh new orders waiting to be delivered. Skyler was expecting something worse and shrugs it off. “I can do it.” Pigsy raises a brow from suspicion. “Hmph! We'll see about that kid.” 

 Later on,  Mk and Skyler are both in the delivery car and the silence was deafening for both of them. Skyler finally pops in a question “...So uhh...How long have ya been working with Pigsy?“ The kid chuckles and looks back at the hedgehog. “Me? Well...most of my life really. He's the one who always takes care of me when I was a kid.” “Well aren't you a kid?” Sky tilts his head in confusion. “Me?! I'm an adult thank you very much!” Mk quickly attempts to cover up his Monkey King comics in his delivery car. That made the hedgehog chuckle and change the subject with more random small talks. As the car stops to the first destination, Sky does a bit of a stretch and turns to look at MK. “Sooo...all I gotta do is to deliver all of these?” Mk nods and holds the phone that shows the destination. ”I'm sure y- '' With no hesitiation, Skyler takes the deliveries and even Mk's phone and within a second or two the cart is completely empty. MK blinks once and even twice to check what even happened. Skyler comes back with pockets of tips and some even treats from the kids of each neighborhood. ”Sooo yeah. It's done.“ 

MK's jaw dropped dramatically and with stars in his eyes and started to blabber away. “H-How did you do that?! Do you have super powers or something? I don't know how you do that fast! I just blinked!” Skyler had to stop MK from asking anymore questions and chuckling “Woah-ho-ho! Hey! I'll...I'll explain when we get ba-'' Checking on the back of the car, he sees one more order left. 

“Okay! Nevermind! we got one more order to deliver...uhhh where's it at?” Sky looks down at the phone and raises his brow. “Huh...looks pretty far away...” Mk takes the phone and looks at the location and makes him smirk. “I know where it is . Hop on Skyler.” As the two take off, both start to talk about each other's adventures and MK absolutely gushes about the Monkey King which really got Skyler intrigued. The hedgehog loves to listen to legends and tales and to the fact that MK is a student from this so-called legend. It's hard to believe, but Skyler has the itching curiosity to try to ask MK for a spar, but he decides to hold back.

Meanwhile MK was asking more about his adventures and his friends. It's quite a coinsidence that both of them have a very close knit and found family type of bonding with both of their friends. Eventually the small talks broke off as they reached a gorgeous sight. It was the place where the Monkey King resides. Skyler was excited to meet the king itself, but....he wasn't home. The two both sigh in dissapointment. “Man that's a bummer....I thought I would meet him.” Skyler folding his arms and frowns from this. MK ponders for a moment and checks the phone and sees the extra note. “....Oh...the meal is for us? Oh come onnnn! We could have gone back home to my place! Or we could have hit the arcade after or we co-” As MK whines away from this situation as Skyler decided to look around and was fascinated by the place and stopped to stare at  the view of the city. The sun is starting to set down and it was a perfect time to take a tiny break. “Hey MK! Ya gotta see this!” MK did eventually stop complaining and went over to check the view out. “Huh...it's been awhile since I've seen the city glow like this.” Skyler chuckles and looks back at MK. “Hey, maybe there is a reason why he brought us here.” Both of them eventually sat down and started eating the delivered meal. Finally realizing that both of them are pretty hungry after that long trip. The two share more stories, some we're happy, some we're sad, but most of all it was a lot of laughter and joy. 

“Heh...Man...You got a lot of cool adventures MK....Ya know...I would like to do some adventures with you someday...Well...Maybe when the city doesn't get invaded by monsters or something.” Skyler grins in response. Mk chuckles nervously and knowing that his home is always in danger in some shape or form. “Well can't guarantee but I would love to have you around more. Like dude! Super speed and kicking butt at the same time?! That's pretty awesome!” 

The two laugh and as the energy calmed down for the two. “Hey, so since you're gonna eventually be part of a legend, you ever thought of someone passing down the torch?” Mk stops midway from slurping his noodles and eventually finish the rest of the food and swallows quickly. “Passing the down the torch for another student? Gosh....I...I never really thought that far.” Skyler ponders at this moment and then an idea pops. “Hey! I know! I can be your student! I'm willing to try out new things!” With horrible timing, Mk was drinking halfway with his can of peach tea soda and spits it out.

“Wh-What?! Are you serious?”

The hedgehog looks at the other and grinning with confidence and nods. “Yeah! But! I'm gonna meet up with Uncle Chuck in about a week and I think you would be a...cool teacher?“  The two gaze into each other's eyes as the sun continues to dip. MK realizes that with Skyler's abilities and along with the Monkey King's abilities combined, they would be an unstoppable force. With a grin in return, he puts the take out aside. 

”Well, In that case....I would gladly take you in...My pupil.“ Mk gives Skyler a formal bow. 

Skyler watches MK accepting the idea and the spark of excitement in their eyes glisten. “Well...In that case....I am honored to be your student.” He bows in return. 

As the two bow down in agreement, both of them look up at each other and then grins excitedly with glee. Not knowing from afar that the Monkey King was watching these two youthful students are getting along quite well. Sure he is interested in where Skyler lives, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that his pupil is going to learn a very harsh lesson in the future. 

One Week Later

Uncle Chuck is on the edge of the Secret Forest and waiting for Skyler to meet up with him. “Hrmm...with those quick feet of his. I thought he would arrive by now.” muttering out loud to himself.

“What are ya sayin' Unc? I'm here.” 

That starts with the elderly hedgehog and sees a much more cheerful hedgehog despite the corruption on his quills still spreading. “O-Oh! Sorry Sonny boy!...Say...You look quite happy.”

Skyler wears his gloves, jacket and hoodie combo, but no longer wears the flannel and jeans. But there is a red ribbon on the left arm of the jacket with an unfamiliar symbol. Carrying a backpack full of things and ready to go. 

”I'm feeling a bit better Uncle Chuck and I think I'm ready for another adventure.“ 

[purplesurveys]

1792

Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Sure. I've always been petite so when I'm gifted or handed down clothes that are a bit too large on me, I have them altered when I have the time.

Do you watch Degrassi? If so, what do you think about it? I've never watched Degrassi but I'm quite familiar since I used to have an internet friend who was otherwise obsessed.

Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? For the most part, yeah. Enthusiastic greeting is in my Filipino DNA, lol.

What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? Nothing, to be honest. Whipped cream doesn't even taste like anything lol and while I don't have anything bad to say about it, it's also not really value-adding taste-wise.

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant?  I'm not sure tbh...5 minutes? 10 minutes? I should pay attention to where we have fire hydrants around here haha.

Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘moustache’?  Nah, definitely not since the early 2010s.

When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up?  Nope.

Are you able to play the harmonica? Do you ever want to take lessons?  I don't know how to play it expertly, though it also doesn't sound like something for which I'd be interested in taking lessons.

If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef?  Rare steak and in burgers. That's about it. I'm not a big beef fan.

How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? Continued from who know when? If I'm marrying them I would assume I would have also already accepted becoming a mom.

Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it?  I've heard of it many times before but don't think I ever played it. I played tons of many other knockoff rollercoaster games though.

What foods go good with radishes?  I usually have pickled radish on the side when I have jjajangmyeon.

When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally?  I don't cook, but when my parents cook and use onions it does sting a lot, to the point that it would be unbearable to be downstairs for a few moments.

How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better?  I don't know but generally my track record isn't great. I could do close to a minute to a little over, and I know others could do much better.

When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name?  I wouldn't remember specifics but I'm sure I would've still been in the single-digit ages.

Would you rather have a loaf of bread or meat loaf right now?  Bread. Meatloaf looks so nasty.

Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way?  Nah, I've learned to embrace being smaller than average haha. Filipinos are also short anyway so even though I'm only barely 5'2", I don't stand out.

Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not?  It's the only way I eat my fries, if not on their own.

What are the oldest pair of pants you still wear? How old are they? I have a pair of high-waist denim jeans that I've had since like college.

Did your last significant other have a huge temper? They did if you called them out because apparently they're incapable of making any mistakes and shouldn't be criticized ever.

What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? An upcoming event we're supposed to be planning for.

What is your opinion on Indonesia? Would you ever travel there? How about Syria? Would you ever travel there? Why or why not? I love lndonesian cuisine, and yes I've already been there – I was around 14 and our family took a week-long trip to Bali. I don't have much of an opinion on Syria but don't really plan on heading there.

What are the three events this year you are looking forward to?  My birthday, seeing Seventeen next week, and getting Jin and Hobi back from the military.