#does that make it feel clunky or take u out of it at all bc its annoying?? let me know!

[saturnwisteria]

Threes Company sounds interesting and I would like to hear more please

Okay okay Three's Company is a post war Ham/Brady/Croz fic. It's mostly domestic fluff atm but I'm also toying around with how much ptsd to throw in before it gets too heavy. Because the recipe does call for it but im trying to make the first foray relatively light and fun. But also, it's like, but sir those are some of my favorite things

Okay little blurb bc I couldn't sleep again <3 unedited straight from the notes app, hot and fresh for u

-

"We should get a pet," he says out of the blue one day. Ham tends to be like that, thoughts running a mile a minute, mouth only ever catching up every now and then. It's not his fault his mind skips from one thing to the next so seamlessly; maybe everyone else ought to be doing more mind exercises to keep up.

Brady furrows his brow. "Like what?"

Hambone hums. "Dunno. I've always wanted a real cat."

Brady drops his fork. Harry looks up from the paper to see Hambone wincing. Brady chews his mouthful of pancake thoroughly before swallowing with considerable effort.

"Sorry," Ham says, "Shoulda held that til after breakfast, huh?"

Brady can't answer. He's stuck somewhere in between complete incredulity and faint horror. Harry is staring across the counter at him with growing concern, mouth tucked down to one corner, one eyebrow raised slightly higher than the other. Brady watches as Harry throws a furtive, questioning glance in Hambone's direction before reaching over to take his hand.

It occurs to Brady that Harry might not have any idea what's going on right now; he's learned a lot about their time in the stalag, but Brady can't recall if they ever told him about that specific story.

The idea that, to Harry, Brady is revolted by the idea of Ham with a cat, divorced of its background context, is funny all of a sudden. He feels a giggle slide its way up his throat, and clamps his mouth shut. But the dumbfounded look that crosses Harry's face at the slight choking inhale it forces him to make is enough to do him in.

The laugh that forces its way out of his throat sounds downright deranged, and does nothing to fix the helpless confusion marring every inch of Harry's expression now. He turns to Hambone for help, only to find the man in question shaking with his own silent laughter, palm gripped tight over his mouth. Brady reaches out for him with the hand not in Croz's grasp, and takes him around the bicep, tugging his arm away from mouth.

Ham howls.

They collapse into each other, Ham's head coming to rest against Brady's shoulder, his hands supporting himself against his thigh while Brady grips the side of Ham's elbow. Almost a year out from the incident itself, and there they are. Spluttering laughs and choked gasps, two hysterical peas in a pod.

"Oh, God," Ham chokes out.

"I know, I know," Ham says, tears running down his face.

"You," Brady tries, a stitch forming in his side, "with a cat?" He pushes Hambone off to grip his ribs, squeezing to try to convince them to expand and let him breathe.

[prettyboykatsuki]

i wanted to say; you inspire me with the way you define your reader and the dynamics you write, the worlds you create are so beautiful and id like to live there. you breathe life into characters in such a way that im invested in them even if i have never heard of the media you took them from. you do characterisation so well, they all have such distinct personalities and as you write more about them you build them up into a living breathing piece of art. i actually took a shot at writing in second person, without giving a name to the other character, and it takes a lot of skill to make it as poetic as you manage to. i appreciate it a lot more now that ive tried lmao i feel my own writing is a lot more clunky and awkward in second.

anyway all this to say youre an amazing writer and i cant wait to see what you put out next <3

oughhuhghhgh taking so much psychic damage reading this...

first of all - thank you so much!!! more than anything it means a lot to me when people take time out of their day to send me kind words. and im glad you feel strongly about my writing style and characterization. this came at a really good time as im actually struggling immensely to finish anything and im really troubled by it so im happy. a living breathing piece of art is such high praise.

ahh congrats on your maybe first second person pov perspective! it is hard KSDNKJS i won't lie to you. i think x reader gets a really bad rep but writing evocative second person is no doubt a skill and a difficult one to execute consistently. not rlly praising myself but the writers in this space on the whole. im glad u feel im someone who does it well bc i rlly do love and revert to it all the time.

thank you for being here with me and reading what i put out!! i love u!!

[lilvirgoprince]

Robin, Aqualad and Artemis redesign from the Young Justice animated series! Im thinking about doing all of them also Artemis and Robin are a little messier bc I did them a couple months ago when I just finished my rewatch. Notes about each under the cut! 

Robin:  - first choice: I got rid of the toe shoes, Im sorry who thought it was a good idea to give him toe shoes?? I have him with shoes that elude more to an acrobat  - thats a general note too: I tried to keep the elements that felt acrobat-y and also the more “boyish” elements- like the short sleeves those are cute - overall the original look I didnt feel I needed to change much? I just wanted to make it look more sleek? I love the clunky gloves in the original though! also the cape!!   - weird choice but I removed the little R which didnt really have much purpose other then making things less crowded but I could probably put it back   - Im trans so I say hes trans, there isnt much I changed for that except I figured I’d shift to be an outfit that would make the body more masculine? basically thinking about what I think when Im getting dressed   - idk I also made the cape “sharper” or gave it more of a distinct cape? this is in part to contrast my Miss Martian redesign but also to allude to the bat of course    - his gloves still have the same function as they did before with being able to project his little screen thing bc that was cool!   - I gave him messier hair then I would’ve otherwise to give that contrast between Robin- Robin out of unifrom- and Dick Grayson (I have a Masks ttrpg character that is a Janus so that was just on my mind)   - gotta keep the mischievous grin (peter pan ass looking motherfucker) and the domino mask!  Aqualad:  - did yall know that electric eels dont have gills! yeah thought in his original design he is kind of supposed to have an eel vibe to it? I tried to lean into that more (also for eel facts I was like rapidly texting my roommate whose majoring in Ocean Science about how confusing and strange they are, he was helpful lol) - the eel shifts can be seen in the way I made his look more “stripe-y” (with the chest part) and adding in the blue to contrast  - he didnt have a mask before and I get that isnt too important but I thought giving him like a “paint” mask might be fun and look cool, SPEAKING OF PAINT... - with the eel choice I decided that it might be cool for his arm marking to be like electroconducive paint or whatever idk Im majoring in ecology not majoring in engineering or physics (im also looking at his original design and feeling like a dumbass for him no longer having eels on his hands :’()  - im mlm and so I think he should be mlm from the start, just a cool older gay for robin to look up too, that isnt important to his design but I think its important in my heart - I gave him shoes, I took on seminar on parasitology this semester and his bare feet just make me so worried about him getting an infection- they are shoes for swimming though! (or he can just pop them off if he wants to use his... toe fins- hes running around on land though he needs shoes)  - w/ the hair I get his atlantian but I know that giving a darker skinned character light eyes and hair to imply “magic” or whatever isn’t a great trope so I wanted to give him a different hair style but I also thought the idea that he bleached them just cause he wanted to might be cool. He also has brown eyes (whoops noticing I left the rest of the eye blue though)   - he gets little earrings  - I didnt like that he has the U shape as like a little belt so I decided to encorporate it into the rest of the outfit- his look is also based off a wet suit!!  - trying to think if Im forgetting anything.... OH I gave him a swimmers body too!! so broader shoulders from swimming!!  Artemis:  - like Aqualad she bleaches her hair too, I like to think she does it in like a rebellious teen way? idk maybe her and Aqualad can bond by them doing it together  - I took away the completely low wasted pants... idk they just felt a little weird if that makes sense...   - I also made her top more of a sports bra, then instead of just slapping and arrow on there I made it apart of the top  - her old mask lowkey felt strange to me??? I was talking w a friend and she pointed at that it feels like a cheesy bank robber mask? (like ski cap with holes) which maybe was intentional to like... ellude to her family and that “untrustwothy”ness??? idk I decided to make it cover her mouth instead to lean into that- it also connected to how both Cheshire and Sportsmaster have full face masks (I havent finished my KF and SB redesign but I dont think theyll have masks that cover the mouths so it singles her out)  - also the part of her mask that pulls her hair back is now like traditional art of the Goddess Artemis which I feel was under utilized in her original design? thats also why I gave her a cool braid instead of a pony tail! (I also feel like its a little more practical idk does it make her seem horse girl-ish)- I also made her boots distantly resemble thoughs  -shes also trans, bc like Robin I say she is- also it’d be funny for her and robin to bond over being “the team non-metahumans, who are both trans and both love Wally West”   - On that note thought I tried to make her look different from Robin and I also gave her nice abs bc she has cropped clothing which nicely show it off  - body type wise shes a little lean and lanky  - I got rid of her weird belt replacing it with a belt that repeats the overall triangle/arrow motif repeating throughout her fit    - gloves function as those little arm guard things you have if you are doing archery- I tried to make those look more functioning also cooler bc they kind of just gave me a strange vibe in the original  I think thats all I have! idk I feel like this might flop but TBH Im having alot of fun w it and Ive been talking to an old friend whose watching it for the first time which makes me really happy! Also these arent to say the original designs are bad I just wanted to take my own crack at reworking them!- OH wait- heres my height chart for these three, Aqualad and Artemis are the same height around 5′10″-6′0″ and robin is around 5′3″-5′5″ he was originally taller then I looked at my line up and was like “shoot everyone is too tall” so I adjusted him so I could bump down Meghan, Wally, and Zantanna a little without making everyone too short (if that makes sense) 

[derelicthorror]

okay welcome to the worst post of all time ! ballas edition

this is the one where i’m mostly leaning towards devils' advocate, because this kind of prompt has a hold on the essay-loving side of me and when i tell you it's got claws i Mean it. i have the post clowning on the more. uh clunky and jerky side of the storytelling for this guy and his entire master plot drafted and in the works but this one got Too Long on its own

also, this post is intended as a jumping-off platform for further takes! think of this as me saying “is the earth flat? discuss” but abt whatever the Heck was going on with ballas. varying perspectives etc., and there are some points that i didn’t consider, so with that said i’m all for some further add-ons! this thing is also Not itemized at all it’s potpourri it’s also like 1k words [general content warning here for verbal and emotional abuse/unhealthy relationships, and likely incomplete analysis thereof; also lots of spoilers from the second dream to the new war]

so, ballas. executor of the seven, one of the last surviving orokin, all-around dubious person - but it seems like from the second dream to the sacrifice to the new war, he looked at the slippery slope from “the wet-socks feeling distilled into a man” to “outright abusive in a pretty unfunny way” and he really did grab the sled there now, im not going to b out here dropping phrases off the bat like "rampant narcissistic manipulation" n stuff bc its. a very particular type of language u are employing when you start pulling out the AP psych terms and slinging them around without justifying or dissecting them and also, while DE was very deliberate in the way they wrote him, he is still a video game man. i do, however, find the way he's written to gradually show his worse traits to be really fascinating. like, from the start you know that this guy is kind of bad news and doesn't really care much about how his actions affect others mostly seeing them by the light of his own ego. re: his treatment of margulis, there's always been this almost? dismissive? tone he takes when it comes to the things she has resolved to do on her own? mostly i'm thinking abt some of the lines you hear whispered in the second dream

"Hush, my wilted love. ... tomorrow, you must renounce before the Seven."

i can almost describe the tone here as condescending? like he takes it for granted that his way is correct and that her resolve is this childish thing that he is brushing aside as silly. and then later, after he personally delivers the death sentence, he still seems to believe it's her own fault (!).

"Seven hands raised. For your apostasy, the judgment is death. Margulis… why?"

and my guy knew why; she was very clear in why she chose death. she loved her children too dearly and held her convictions too fiercely, refusing to bow to the court, but instead of acknowledgement, all you get from ballas’s end is this sting of betrayal beautifully delivered by max howarth (in two words no less!! i love this guy's acting). he conveys so well that ballas's disbelief is because she hurt him with her choice, and that's what stood out to him more than anything else. all the way through his story's end, it's like this perceived failing on her part never stops rankling at him and he never stops blaming everyone for it even long after the fact

ballas has a couple traits that start shining through clearer and clearer every time he makes his appearance. there’s his need for control, there’s his vindictiveness, and there is his ego.

he was in one of the, if not the, highest echelons of orokin society. he was one of the executors; he oversaw the creation of the warframes. his influence was such that he could easily silence a dax soldier without raising undue suspicion. ballas comes from a place of power, and even just factoring in the orokin sense of self-aggrandization and superiority, as well as ballas’s own personal character flaws, that makes for a potent mix of prideful and obsessive with the teeth to back it.

but how does his betrayal of the orokin factor in?? how does he handle the hypocrisy that comes from turning his back on his people, because he hurts really badly when the same thing is done to him?? and he doesn’t. he’s already justified himself in his own head (there’s the ego! there’s a refusal to accept blame!). the rest of the orokin made him do this. it’s only right that he turn on them, because they made him pass judgment on margulis, and margulis made him speak the judgment that the orokin forced on him, and he is the blameless one so why shouldn’t they get what they deserve? this mans does olympic level gymnastics jumping through this many mental hoops

so when a particular dax catches wind of his deceit and ballas finds out, his response is nowhere close to shifty or guilt-ridden or anything that would imply he feels Bad about turning on the orokin. he’s angry, and he’s smug, and it’s the first time we see fully just how ugly this man is. rotted through and through

"I've had lifetimes to plan my defection. You spied on me, intercepted my communications, but I saw your move long before you took it. And so... we come to the consequences."

consequences. like justifiable comeuppance? this isn’t the talk of a man who believes he’s wrong and it’s awful bc he’s like that!! the whole time!! he didn’t have to do any of it to umbra; he could have just killed him on the spot. but he drags it out instead, and he doesn’t let it stop at umbra himself, or even just at isaah. ballas makes it clear that in retaliation, he’s going to wipe out everyone umbra cares about.

"This one, a brother. These three, his children. And on and on, all of these gone to the Jade Light."

altogether so far there’s this unwavering belief that he can do no wrong, that nothing in the world is ballas’s fault, and underneath it there’s this malice that just undercuts the whole thiiiing this man is so ugly im. theres no other word for him hes just Ugly great job DE

the thing abt ballas when it comes to margulis the archimedian is that, from his perspective, he seems to have? , really loved her? now, full stop, the problem is that his idea of love is warped beyond all reason. it isn’t the right kind, and it isn’t the healthy kind, and to say that he could do with a reality check or five is an understatement. ballas’s perspective on margulis can be boiled down to I love her, and she is mine to be loved by me, and I know what is best for her. you don’t see him valuing her decisions or taking into account the things that she wants.

re: the flaws of ballas’s relationship to margulis, lundy bancroft puts it pretty succinctly: “Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person… This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion.” and he failed on all counts, -11/10

margulis as a character has direction. she has wants. she wants to protect her children. she wants to solve the problem of transference. she wants to salvage the survivors of this wreckage before the orokin destroy them all. she is a brilliant scientific mind and a keen force for compassion and by all accounts, on encountering the zariman problem, she makes the children the focal point of her life, even at the cost of her health.

what ballas sees is margulis turning her back on him to make way for the little void demons. and it’s subtle, the why behind his dislike of the tenno. he’s been calling them devils from that hell the entire time, distrustful of them and reluctant to make use of them.

then the new war happens and it’s. so loud and in your face it’s jealousy this man is jealous of a child because he felt it divided margulis’s affection for him and that possessiveness is integral to what makes him such a shriveled up little pest okay.

and the way he just takes his anger at margulis and places it onto the lotus too? the compartmentalizing is almost impressive. the dissonance. i can’t wrap my head around how this character must think, like??? margulis left me for the demon children. margulis rejected me and chose death instead. she is wicked and spiteful and she is the perfect lover and i miss her every day. the lotus is the new and better margulis. she refuses to be the better margulis??? she is wicked and spiteful unlike my perfect lover margulis like ????? the circles??? the loops??? i dont???

thinking abt why he was like that to the lotus at the end as well, in a lot of ways, ballas finally snapping when he feels an imminent loss of control is like? yeah i can see it. his plan of complete dominion did not succeed completely, and where it did he’s immensely unsatisfied with the shallow compliance of the veiled. but where it didn’t succeed, that’s his focal point, and once he’s getting into his head that he doesn’t have what he wants and it’s all because of this scrawny devil child and the Lotus, who rejected his affection - what else is there to do besides rage?

on that note i still cringe thinking about every single thing he says to her it was textbook. the name-calling. the derision. the refusal to accept blame. i was hiding behind my blanket the whole time

re: the whole eat the sun to power a bus ride to tau thing, ballas did??? speak of tau pretty highly i suppose??? speaking of how the sentients were to bear them “a new, promised land.” maybe?? hes like well who else deserves to see the cool new system than ME and ONLY me. if i can’t have my lover and if i can’t have total control of Everything, Ever then i guess it’s time to Jump Ship and start My Own Club of One. Me.

sigh. the sun-eating thing was. i mean at least there’s a flair for the dramatic that never really goes away

there was a lot of yelling and a lot of doomsday grandstanding and at the end of the day im just glad to be rid of sandal-socks steven

[cheekbites-moved]

ok i still havent gotten the secret ending but farming for it might take me a bit so im gonna make a thoughts post for age of calamity now:

Major spoilers obvs so ill put it under a read more

things i enjoyed:

revali beatdown simulator

the controls for the divine beasts are a bit clunky, but i think the angles they used for them did an excellent job at really making the player feel like we were actually controlling a divine beast. so i think it was done well.

link’s personality really gets to shine full force in this game with the amount of cut scenes and it was wonderful to see

every character clearly had a lot of love put into how they operate. they truly all feel unique, & all of their play styles fit them really well in my opinion

the game does a really good job of making you understand what a real threat the monsters are. like in botw they’re intimidating at first, but once you’re far enough into the game they become just an inconvenience to work around if anything. this game managed to actually make certain monsters intimidating for me again, and i think that’s a real accomplishment

the blight battles are actually somewhat challenging in this game and that is truly a commendable achievement lol i think all the bosses are good tbh. i didnt rly dislike or not enjoy any of them.

the way daruk and link’s friendship & urbosa’s motherly relationship towards zelda got to shine was. so good. it’s all i could’ve ever wanted

seeing the descendants again was really nice & it was awesome to see the champions interacting with them!! especially sidon and mipha omggggg. that was. really fucking good shit

kohga. just. kohga in general. getting to see more of him was really rad, he’s such a fun guy! and his english va was Excellent. you could really tell he was having a lot of fun playing him, and it was lovely to see! :)

zelda getting to really shine in this game was also lovely to see. and her being so assertive and badass by the end? omg. it was so wonderful especially after botw. man. 

the combat is done very well imo. im rly glad that they took so many elements from botw, but also added their own flares to make it feel fresh. it was rad.

sidon’s tagline is “winning smile” and his power is “boundless optimism” and i think that’s beautiful

the music in this game is SOOOOO good oh my god. multiple times during playing i had to pause to just appreciate it. it’s pretty much all remixes of botw with a few originals for the new characters, but they all slap. there was not a single song in this game i didn’t like. it is definitely one of my favorite video game soundtracks officially. maybe one of my favorite overall soundtracks in general tbh.

the visuals obviously look just like botw, but it still looked fucking gorgeous at some points. like. man. they really went off to make it look not only faithful to botw as far as appearance goes, but also as far as capturing botw’s beauty and it was. excellent to see!

if anything is true to botw’s backstory, it’s definitely how op link is. cause he was established to be op in botw, & when u finish botw he is also op as hell. he is so fun to play as the higher leveled he gets. he absolutely kicks ass. especially with a two-handed weapon??? daaaaammmmnnn. thats my badass baby boy!!!!

link eating rocks not once, but TWICE. just showing PEAK gremlin energy. 10/10 for those scenes they were great

the ending was really beautiful actually and i did cry like a little baby for it what about it

things i didn’t like:

obviously first and foremost.. this is not the game we were advertised. and no matter how much i overall enjoyed the game, it will always have some layer of being tainted attached to it due to the false advertising. this is not the prequel we thought we’d be getting. & not using “prequel” specifically doesn’t matter when all the advertising, including the box art talks about this being the story of what happened 100 years ago. with no indication it wasn’t the story of what happened 100 years ago in the botw timeline, but a separate universe/timeline entirely. i do hope we get dlc for the game at some point giving us what we were advertised, but at the same time... rly wish that the story that’s in the final game was dlc, & the story we were promised was the original :/ or just having the game have two separate storylines originally would’ve been cool. i just wish it wasn’t falsely advertised. 

fort hateno can fucking eat my whole entire shit WHY is that part so needlessly obnoxious compared to everything else oh my god

being forced to fulfill revali’s power fantasy TWICE hurt my soul

fuck any mission where you have to protect the useless hylian guards. i hate them. they suck.

the ai for player characters when you aren’t playing as them can also be pretty useless. it was really frustrating failing missions because my fellow party members weren’t helping me, and i was basically expected to be in two places at once to get shit done myself. :/ ik you can just switch between characters to make it easier, but like. i like playing as link the most. he’s my favorite character, & ofc since he’s mandatorily played for most of the story, he’s gonna be the most leveled up character regardless so he’s just the best to play as in general especially for harder missions. it was annoying to be forced to play as other people Solely cause the ai was so useless.

king rhoam’s attempt at a redemption arc. i’m not sorry that i just fucking hate this man. i don’t mind him entirely in botw bc you can see clear, genuine remorse during the cut scene at the end of the great plateau. but the redemption arc he gets in this game? after all the fucking shit he does in this game? especially when after his ~redemption arc~ i had to sit through a cut scene of him being an absolute fucking asshole to baby zelda after her mother just died????? absolutely fuck that shit. i don’t appreciate that crap at fucking all. he’s a verbally abusive piece of shit and i hate his guts.

obviously there was gonna be some retconning of how certain things worked in botw in order to make this kinda game work but the way sheikah technology works in this game is so goddamn confusing i do not get it. the works of botw are never outright said or explained completely, but it’s straightforward enough that it doesn’t really matter. this game does try to explain certain things and it just becomes. really clunky and confusing very quickly. 

the story is alright, i guess, but..... really confusing/convoluted as hell at times to a point that it’s. really fucking distracting. especially in comparison to how straightforward botw’s story is. like..... cannot help but be annoyed that such a problem wouldn’t have been a thing if they stuck to botw’s story.

i was sad when the egg thing died but i dont like the egg thing.... it is the MAIN reason shit was retconned so much & i just. dont get its purpose. but i did really like the reveal that zelda made it herself. that was good shit!

also the egg glitched out like. a LOT. idk what the fuck was going on with the poor thing but there was multiple times during a cut scene or when i was just sitting there that it was freaking out in the background and it was rly weird

elemental overworld boss monsters................. obnoxious. especially elemental guardians like goddamn bro what the fuck

i know warriors’ games aren’t about exploring anyway but the limitations for exploring was really sad/frustrating. this is still somewhat the world of hyrule before the calamity, which is something we’ve always wanted to see. not being able to explore even the immediate area at certain points because of shit like timed missions was really upsetting, man. :( i just wanted to see hyrule castle Before the calamity why was did they have to rob us like that.....

creepy corrupted egg’s transformation. why. what was that. what the fuck

even though i did enjoy the boss fights, it did get. incredibly taxing eventually to have to fight the SAME bastards so many times. like yeah botw is also guilty of this with the blights, but goddamn.... at least i have a choice to avoid certain encounters with them? this game has you fighting the same bitches like upwards of 3-4 times. it was. really annoying tbh. like the fights themselves are enjoyable, but damn we added new characters and it still inevitably lacked variety in boss fights.

no playable kass >:( if he’s available later in dlc then fine but i wish he was playable in the original game. so many random choices you’d never expect are. why couldn’t he also be there >:(

overall:

it will forever have that sour taste for the false advertising attached to it unfortunately, but that aside, i overall did enjoy the game! i think it has a lot to love in spite of the issues i encountered. as someone who has this as their first warriors game as well, it did lend itself to letting me see the appeal of them. idk if i’ll get more, but i do get why they’re so beloved/popular now. it was an alright time, with some amazing highlights that i’m gonna think back on very fondly for a very, very long time. if i had to rate it..... 7/10 

[classified-bluerose]

put me back together part II || quentin beck x reader

a/n: so obviously this doesn’t exactly fit the plot as i realised halfway through that peter seems to have met quention prior to the water attack in venice. i don’t want to change it now so let’s pretend they met before the fight. also we gonna pretend peter’s trip was always taking them to prague bc i don’t wanna write in the trip at all tbh lol. again this is probably occ... mainly self-indulgent crap, really. hope u enjoy tho!!!

warnings: cursing, mentions of violence & death, endgame spoilers, and, ofc, spiderman ffh spoilers. manipulative bastard quentin, too. (isn’t that why we love him?)

(GIF is not mine)

—

chapter two: shattered glass

—

it’s almost as though quentin actually planned this - find the girl and take her to one of the most romantic cities in the world. show her all the sights, make her laugh, slowly take down her walls, brick by brick.

the more time he spends with you the harder it becomes to disentangle himself. feelings grow deeper under early morning walks and late night chats. you never ask about the other you, the one quentin supposedly married.

you never talk about tony stark or natasha romanoff, either; when fury mentions iron man you stiffen in the corner and quentin does not miss the way your jaw clenches tight. he wants to poke and prod at these wounds left unhealed, but there’s no time before the stage is set and the water monster erupts from the intricate canals of venice’s streets.

you’re not supposed to be there - you should have been tucked away at the base, safe and sound; but quentin sees you ushering a group of frightened tourists in the opposite direction of the threat. anger coils low in his chest as he watches your figure disappear around a corner - what if something had happened to you?

how could you be so careless with yourself?

he grit his teeth and finished off the ‘’elemental’’ - needing some time to cool off and clear his head.

—

you’re not at the debrief. quentin’s skin feels itchy as he wonders where you are. have you gone home? been sent out somewhere else?

maybe you’d simply walked out. but why... why would you leave quentin? or peter, for that matter? how much you care for the kid is obvious - surely you wouldn’t just go.

surely you - surely you hadn’t actually been injured. right? right? if you had someone would have found you by now. shield would know, wouldn’t they. isn’t that their jobs? isn’t that what they’re supposed to do?

the longer he goes without knowing the more the anger rises to the surface. he tries to pat it down lest he expose himself, cursing you for making him feel this way. his jaw twitches, fist flexing, fingers curling and uncurling and curling again - anything to get the nervous energy out of his system.

after what feels like forever the briefing ends, the plan to get to prague is settled. quentin tries to catch fury but the slippery fucker is out the door in the blink of an eye.

someone taps his shoulder. quentin turns sharply, - ‘’ what? ‘’ - then pulls his attitude in again when peter flinches back. he rubs his forehead and bares his teeth in a smile.

‘’ sorry, spiderman. rough day, ‘’ he makes his excuses and the naieve kid nods and smiles and accepts too easy.

‘’ it’s okay, mr- i mean, myst- i mean, quentin. um, i just - i noticed you were looking around a lot, during the meeting. if you’re looking for her, i can show you where she is? ‘’

god, this kid is painfully awkward at times, but damn if he isn’t useful. quentin nods once. spiderman nods, clearly happy to feel like he can help. ‘’ c’mon! ‘’

he darts out as quick as a bullet from a gun, and quentin has no choice but to follow the teenage hero out into the night.

—

there’s a mural of red and gold painted large as life on the side of a building. your silhouette against it is dark and miniscule. quentin stands a few feet back and watches you stare at it. only when your shoulders begin to shake does he approach.

your breaths are laboured, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. his earlier irriation fades away, though he fights to bring it back - you could have ruined it all by disobeying orders, showing up on the street mid-fight, you could have destroyed his plans in seconds -

somehow, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

‘’ hey. are you okay? ‘’

you snap out of the daze and your gaze falls to your feet. you nod and force a smile that’s too dull to be authentic as you look back up. his expression becomes one of caring and empathy, your heart hurting for the man who lost it all.

‘’ m’fine. just ... ‘’ your eyes flicker once again to the painting before moving back to gaze over quentin’s shoulder. ‘’ i’m fine. ‘’

‘’ you wanna talk about it? ‘’

a humourless chuckle escapes your lips. more jagged glass than happiness. ‘’ no. ‘’

quentin pauses. knows that to push you too much too soon would ruin the carefully constructed plan he has perfected. he chances a comforting touch to your elbow, encouraged when you don’t move away.

‘’ wanna go for a walk? ‘’

he hits you with the lopsided grin that he knows has an effect; inside, your stomach swoops and fuses spark lights in your chest. on the outside your eyes soften and your lips curve up in a tiny, but genuine, smile.

quentin holds out his hand. you take it without hesistation.

—

so much about you intrigues him. it’s easy to forget about the truth behind his intentions. your skin, hotter than any normal human being. the knowledge that you have the ability to snap his neck without blinking an eye is... alluring. intoxicating. you were so broken when he met you first, only a week ago. already he feels as though he’s putting you back together. it earns him some pride.

light laughter and little, fragile smiles - moments as delicate as butterflies landing on his wrist. he yearns to touch, to pull, to hold. the plan takes priority, of course it does. but he’s worked so hard to get himself to this point. he deserves a little break with a pretty girl by his side.

‘’ so, one more elemental, ‘’ you begin, conversationally.

quentin nods. ‘’ one more. fire. the one that... the one that destroyed my world. ‘’

he swallows past an imaginary lump in his throat. he feels your eyes against the profile of his face.

‘’ well, now you know what you’re up against. not often we get a second chance. ‘’ the words are bitter, maybe unintentionally, but bitter all the same.

‘’ you did, ‘’ he points out, gently. ‘’ with thanos, right? ‘’

you huff a callous, cold laugh. ‘’ yeah. eventually won, i guess. supposedly. ‘’

there’s a darkness shadowing the curves of your face now, the kind that makes quentin’s heart rate pick up. ‘’ what do you mean? ‘’

you don’t answer for a long while. footsteps echo quietly around empty backstreets. it seems as though the city is deserted; inhabited only by the two of you, and the moon hanging low in the sky. still clad in his armour, quentin wishes to himself he’d had the foresight to change out of the clunky suit.

in the moment of distraction caused by the discomfort, he doesn’t notice that you’ve paused in front of him. he slams straight into you; neither of you stumbling as he hits the solid heat of your body.

you turn on your heel and offer a wry smile. ‘’ sorry, ‘’ you say, entirely insincere. he watches you lean back against the wall, the shadowed alleyway covering up most of your features. your eyes, though. they burn through the night and quentin is powerless to their draw.

he cocks his head to the side. ‘’ what did you mean? ‘’ he presses. ‘’ a minute ago. ‘’

‘’ it’s nothing. forget i said anything. ‘’

‘’ hey, come on. you can talk to me, you know, ‘’ he cajoles, inching closer.

you sigh; ‘’ you have enough on your plate, ‘’ she insists, but your resolve to stay silent is weakening. he can feel it.

‘’ you have listened to me talk about the tragedy of my own life since i got here, ‘’ he points out, lightly. ‘’ let me return the favour. ‘’

you consider the man of mystery in front of you: something about him you can’t quite put your finger on. maybe it’s the smile that always seems a little too sharp for comfort, or the eyes that can’t quite hide the gleam of potential insanity. something tells you, you shouldn’t trust him. something else tells you he’s the only one you should trust.

‘’ it doesn’t feel like we won, ‘’ you admit, finally. the weight falling from your chest as the words fall from your lips, secrets with sharp edges that have been cutting in to you for eight long months. ‘’ tony stark and natasha romanoff, they died. they died so the world could live, and - and that’s what, that was the point. save the world. whatever it takes, ‘’ she spits out the last three words with an incredible amount of venom. ‘’ and it’s stupid and it’s careless and i don’t even care. i want them back. i want them back so badly i would, god. i would burn this version of reality to the ground to bring ‘em back. ‘’

quentin ... did not expect this. yet somehow is unsurprised; and suddenly understands. this is what drew him in. this hidden darkness, this anger and rage buried in layers of sadness. in this moment you are more alive than he’s ever seen you; gone is the morose, flat emptiness, here is the fuel to the dynamite exploding, here is the fierce hurt and the damaged parts coming to the surface, it is magnificent, you are magnificent in your hot fury.

the breath catches in his throat as he realises; we’re the same, you and i. we both want revenge.

excitement sizzles in his veins and in that moment all he wants to do is wrap you in his arms and pull you into his embrace. he reigns himself in, patience, quentin, patience, and allows himself a single step closer.

‘’ i’m so sorry you had to go through that, ‘’ he whispers, voice a few steps lower than usual- steeped in desire he hopes can be read as sympathy. your bright eyes flicker over his face.

‘’ yeah, well. perks of bein’ a fuckin’ superhero or whatever. ‘’ she lifts her chin in the air defiantly. ‘’ but i guess you understand that. ‘’

‘’ i do, ‘’ he responds immediately, ‘’ i do. ‘’

because, okay. maybe he hadn’t actually watched his reality burn; maybe he hadn’t failed to save an imaginary family in an imaginary universe; but he had lost things, fallen deeper into black holes that chewed up his soul and spat it out again.

we’re the same, he wants to say, but again. holds himself back.

instead he smiles warmly - the sharpness still there, something you do not miss - and says, ‘’ at least we have each other. ‘’

your face lights up with mischief. ‘’ we do? ‘’ you ask, with a cocky head tilt. quentin chuckles and plays up the embarassment. acting like someone caught flirting - which he almost-kind-of-maybe was.

a blush adorns his handsome face. ‘’ i mean - uh - if you want that. ‘’ he adopts an uncertain waver to his tone; though he’s already sure you’re falling as hard for him as he is for you.

you bite back a smile and try to dim the fire burning in your belly. it just feels so good - to actually feel something. something that isn’t empty or angry or sad. something good. this connection came too quick and is growing too intense too soon. it can only end in tears. but you make a choice, the only one you’ve ever made.

let yourself be consumed in the flames, and damn the consequences.

—

tags: @loki-doki-fever @tuliptx

[bettsfic]

Hey so like...how do u justify romanticising a minor/adult relationship bc as a minor it kinda makes me uncomfortable. You’re an amazing writer, I just don’t quite get why you chose the age gap

before i address your question directly, and i will, i want to point out a few things that confuse me about this ask.

first, the admission of being a minor with the implication you’ve read my work, and now outright interacting with me. i’ve written maybe half a dozen g- and t-rated fics, and none of them are particularly popular, which i’m guessing means you’ve read my explicit fics, which means you’ve clicked past Ao3′s polite “18+ only” warning. my apologies if this assumption is incorrect – maybe you really have only read my three or four gen/teen-rated fics. that just seems very unlikely to me because all of my more popular fics are mature and explicit.

now, while admitting you are a minor made uncomfortable by minor/adult relationships, you have directly approached me, a 29 year old woman, to ask me why i’ve made the choices i’ve made. granted, by going on anon, you’ve ensured that this is a public forum, but if you’d PM’d me, i wouldn’t have responded, because i am not here to interact with minors.

which brings me to my conclusion of this portion of the ask, which is: i am not writing for minors and i do not want to interact with minors. i can’t control what you read or don’t read and it’s absolutely not my responsibility to cater to you in any way, especially if you knowingly and voluntarily click past the 18+ warning. but i can control my personal interactions, and i urge you not to reach out to me again. 

next i’m going to nitpick the word “romanticize” which is a word heavy in the current moral rhetoric. literally speaking, you are right. i am making an age gap romance romantic. rhetorically speaking, to “romanticize” something means to flatten or gloss over it, sweep potential consequences under the rug. to romanticize abuse, for example, is to make it beautiful, to ignore all the trauma and pain that comes along with it. (i think it is a worthy artistic endeavor to attempt to romanticize abuse in fiction, if for only the ability to highlight how fucked up abusive relationships can feel in the moment, but that’s a rant for another time).

since you haven’t read training wheels, i can tell you outright i am not romanticizing a minor/adult relationship. there are certainly unrealistic/porny moments, but i’m not shying away from the actual emotional consequences of being a 17yo* girl dating a 25yo man. i’m doing my best to depict this relationship the way these relationships are actually felt, because they do happen, and i have been in them. they can be very romantic, but that doesn’t mean i’m romanticizing them. though we’re not in his pov, bellamy is acutely aware of the greater context of their relationship. and clarke, who has no context, is doing her best to navigate the difficulty of her situation, semi-aware that it’s something that will be haunting her for a long, long time. 

i am not beautifying the ugliness of their relationship; i am not fetishizing (another word i take issue with) the minor body. being in clarke’s pov means that bellamy is object of desire, and meanwhile we get, through clarke’s thoughts, the sometimes awkward and confusing realization of what it means to be wanted, loved, used, seen, broken, trespassed, and all the other things teenage girls sometimes have to navigate. 

and i have one more thing to say before i answer your actual question: you are allowed to be uncomfortable reading fiction. in fact, i think you should be uncomfortable reading fiction. all art should make us uncomfortable, because in discomfort lies broader awareness. by consuming things which push at the boundaries of our narrow reality, we are capable of widening that reality, and that’s what it means to learn and grow and become the people we want to be. you cannot become a better, stronger, wiser person without facing and overcoming that which makes you uncomfortable. 

i also resent a bit the implication that i, a fanfic writer, a queer woman, am beholden to appeasing your comfort when straight white male writers are not. i assume you’re not sending jroth letters about how murphy’s sex slavery arc in s3 made you uncomfortable. or that the entire premise of the show revolves around putting a hundred minors in a ship and dropping them onto a potentially lethal planet. or raven, a teenager, sleeping with bellamy, an adult, in s1. and that’s not even mentioning the violence perpetuated against minors in the show. they die! and they bleed! like, a lot!! charlotte, a 12yo girl, dies a gruesome death in s1. they are minors forced to kill or be killed in exceedingly violent ways, and you’re in my inbox asking why i’m writing a fic that depicts a loving and consensual relationship between a 17yo (clarke’s canonical age in s1) and a 25yo. 

now i’ll answer your actual ask.

you use the word “justify” as if i had to do some kind of logistical puzzle to make this fic morally okay in my eyes. i can tell you now, i did not, because the story exists to navigate that logistical puzzle on its own. the conflict poses the question: is this okay? is this wrong? what about it is wrong? for what reasons is it wrong? and i also attempt (in a clunky way because it’s a bit rough, plot-wise) to navigate what “informed consent” really means to a 17yo who has no information to go off of. for me it’s an experiment in what consent really is. clarke wants bellamy, but she doesn’t have a full awareness of the consequences of that want, so is it truly consensual? what does bellamy have to do to fully inform her of those consequences? is it even his responsibility, or should clarke take more agency over her experiences? and lastly, the most interesting question of them all to me – what happens to the minors in consensual age gap relationships? how do they cope with that experience years later? in what ways does it change them?

though it’s not my responsibility to indulge my personal ties to this conflict in order to further “justify” it, i can assure you, i am writing this from clarke’s pov having been the younger party in many age gap relationships, at times a minor. at times coerced. at times completely uninformed. but each time, consensual. i sought out the men i dated. i took the lead. i propositioned them. and i consider: how has that affected me and the way i love now? 

my mom at 20, married my dad, 32. my older sister at 16, met her (now ex) husband, her then-boss, at 23 (they waited until she was 18 to start dating). i dated an 18yo and then a 19yo when i was 14. a 21yo when i was 16. a 32yo when i was 19. a 47yo when i was 22. but i also had a long-term relationship with someone who was just three months younger than me. age gap is not the only way i know how to love, but it is certainly a way to love, and one i find, in lieu of seeking it out in reality, narratively compelling. so i write about those experiences in order to better understand them now that i’m older. in order to take them apart and piece them back together. in order to, in some cases, relive them, because i enjoyed so much about them. 

i don’t pursue older men anymore because i no longer seek male validation. i don’t meet a handsome middle-aged man and need him to love me to feel like my existence in the world is warranted. but that doesn’t mitigate all the old habits and drive and potentially genetic disposition that led me to relentlessly pursuing them in the first place. so now i sublimate that into fiction and offer my experience and understanding to others who might be predisposed in the same way, or people who are not and curious about what that experience is like. and that’s what fiction does.

lastly, i’ve sort of saturated myself in age gap stories. i’ve watched every age gap movie i can get my hands on, read every book. i dive through google and ao3 looking for age gap recs, seeking out the one story or fic or movie that not only gets the relationship right, but figures out how to make it work. that’s all i want – a realistic, plausible solution to this very delicate and complicated kind of relationship. and i can’t find that story, so i’ve decided to write it myself. 

training wheels is an uncomfortable story about a romantic minor/adult relationship and the realistic psychological consequences of it, both in the immediate present and long-term, and you are supposed to be made uncomfortable by it, regardless of your age. it makes romantic but does not romanticize age gap relationships. i do not take the morality of this story lightly, nor its meaning or intentions. whether i succeed in this is up to interpretation, and i can’t control that interpretation, but i can tell you with certainty what my intentions have been going into this story, and exactly why i’ve made the decisions i’ve made regarding it. 

*the age of consent in ohio, where training wheels is set, is 16. i recognize the current rhetoric around this is “legality is not morality” or whatever, but again – the purpose of training wheels is in part to directly address this conflict

[hanwritesstuff]

so im not a new writer, but you’re writing is so good i can’t resist. any writing tips? (especially for monoma and shinsou uwu)

SKDLFJLDSK THANK U I CAN TRY

vary your sentence lengths and paragraph lengths! and going off that, make sure your sentences don’t all have the same structure. (”He went to the counter, picking up a book. He flipped it open to a random page, reading the fifth line.”) it makes a huge difference, trust me.

that being said, don’t underestimate the power of the one-sentence-paragraph wham line. it’ll knock the wind out of your readers.

read your dialogue out loud to yourself! if it sounds clunky, change it!

don’t be afraid to take lines/plots/scenarios from real life. it’s really fun.

some people like to outline, some don’t, but you should at least know where you want to go. if you’re writing a longer fic, figure out where you want the story and characters to be at the end of every chapter and go from there. 

read back over stuff you’ve written and figure out your writing style and your strengths. i was kinda sad when i realized that my thing wasn’t flowy purple prose with lengthy lush descriptions, but i’m perfectly happy in my complicated in-depth storytelling and dry one-liner cave.

don’t be afraid of self-indulgence. if you write something because you like it and you’re passionate about, people will notice, and the fic will often be better because of it. (case in point: golden days 18 was the chapter i was most excited to write and look what happened)

as for character specific stuff, all i can say is read the joint training arc again. then read it again. and then read the sports festival arc again just for kicks. those two have a lot of defining character moments and character depth (and chapter 211 shows the differences and similarities between them really well too). but here are some details some people miss: (ofc characterization changes a lot depending on the story you’re trying to tell and it’s okay for background characters to be more simplified; also different character interpretations are a thing and fanfiction is 100% a space to explore those!):

monoma has a 5/5 intelligence stat and is a great strategist! (with his quirk, he kinda has to be. can you tell i’ve written a whole meta on this)

monoma’s attitude toward class a doesn’t come from hatred as much as it does from jealousy and wanting his own class to be recognized for everything they do 

shinsou being more quiet and reserved than other characters doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a spine. or a sharp tongue. 

also monoma didn’t “manipulate” shinsou during chapter 211. he was trying to relate to him some people on the internet really are jared, 19

monoma and shinsou both have “un-heroic” quirks, but were treated in different ways because of them. (i want more fics that explore this too HMHMHMHM)

also they both know that because of their quirks, they have to act in more morally ambiguous ways to get shit done, but while monoma mostly accepts that, shinsou doesn’t want to have to deal with that and wants to be seen as a hero without the baggage. 

(i’ll link my meta here, and ofc if you want to see my character headcanons and interpretations feel free to ask bc i have a lot of them)

[gayspock]

16, 27, 37, 44, 47

27. who is your favorite voice actor?joshua ilon has the most intoxicating voice imaginable. 

37. what’s a favorite podcast that’s no longer airing?

WOLF 359

44, what nonfiction podcasts do you listen to? not many! i need to get into more tbh & would be open to recommendations  actually (not sawbones, or any true crime / mystery podcasts tho)…1. my brother my brother and me2. badvertising3. wonderful4. run: a doctor who fancast5. let’s make a music!  6. long ago, i liked cool games inc but obviously not any more7. i also got into data skeptic for a while but i havent been following it :pensive:

47. do you have headcanons about how characters look? if so, what? i cant go into extreme detail bc that would take SO long, but mostly characters fall on a scale for me, and if u asked me i could give u specifics, but . to give some examples OF THE EXTREMES (theres more, but..):

examples of ppl i dont have a CLUE on, and are literally formless figures:kepler from wolf 359, sasha from rqg, byrdie&rowan from tup,  trexel from stellar firma, sasha&georgie&melanie&others from tma,

examples of kids whose exact facial features i can describe to you in extreme detail right down to the angle of their fucking nose:juno from tpp, daisy&basira from tma, lucretia&barry&merle&angus from taz, lovelace&eiffel from wolf 359,  and grizzop&azu from rqg, x from gis

16 has to go under the cut because i have a LONG response

16.  do you prefer audio diary format or radio show format?OKAY THIS IS A HOT TAKE, but! kind of… not that big of a fan of either? most likely, there’s a podcast out there that handles either of these brilliantly, but in MOST  cases I feel like shows always try to set up an audio diary/radio show because its cool and immersive in theory but then it gets unsustainable and restricting as the show grows. so they either: 1) drop it which is fine but… when that��s the case, i dont define the show by being in whichever format. 2) keep it, but it starts not to make much narrative sense, as they force situations that are either unlikely, limited and just a little clunky.

both of which are FINE (i mean, the latter is a little yugh) especially bc. i understand that podcasts arent always fully thought out, and take time to get used to because its quite an experimental medium for some people and/or theyre small startups that dont expect the traction. like i said, wolf 359 is one of my favourite podcasts ever, and i dont at all hold it accountable for dropping the audio diary format or hate it for it?? and its not even like me genuinely criticsing it for starting it off like that, bc i dont think its a BAD thing.

but what im referring  to here is shows that explicitly stick this format and….like i said, i dont think ive ever experienced a show that  does this!! and in a lot of cases, it generally feels like they picked it up as a gimmick and/or hadnt fully thought carefully about the ways a show would pan out (*not saying they’d need to know the full plot, but in terms of like a general direction  if that makes sense? bc those are two different things). i REALLY, REALLY want to hear a show that uses one of these formats, and actually utilises its potential and incorporate it properly as the plot progresses in a cool and/or interesting way. likee i think making it either, just for the sake of it, is really unsatisfying and i just want one that sticks to its guns!! because thats what would make these formats actually SUPER COOL and let them land!

tma is the one show that did really well with staring with a limited format, and managed to actually incorporate it into the narrative and give some meaning to the fact that what we’re listening to, is something thats actually in-universe. and i think thats because jonny sims actually thought about it, and so there was a Purpose to it being told via tapes rather than just doing it that way for the sake of it. which YEAH. thats the kinda shit im talking about that makes it go off, babey!

[rosykims]

DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS

tagged by: @nordxz​ thanks so much !!! *heart emoji* 

favourite game of the series?

origins! although inquisition is very close as well.  inquisition was my favourite for a very time, but like midway through last year i replayed origins and it just felt.....so good. i really struggled with enjoying dao because of the clunky fighting system but an amazing mutual introduced me to a mod that lets u skip fights basically lol, so i was just able to focus on the story/characters/exploration of the game, which just....made me realize how immensely beautiful the game actually is, and i fell in love all over again aaaaa

how did you discover dragon age?

i was a huge mass effect fan ! mass effect was the game that motivated me to make this blog, actually, and obviously through following people i saw a lot of posts from the da community as well. so i bought origins and inquisition (i had NO idea there was a da2 until half way through awakening lmao) and tried to play origins but HATED it gtrhutgrhugtr and then eventually gave it another try like a month later and completely loved it and now here we are

how many times you’ve played the games?

not as many times as some people on here have - i would say origins maybe four times, da2 maybe twice, inquisition three times. but that also doesnt count all the timesw ive created new games and then abandoned them lol bc theres too many to count 

favourite race to play as?

love me some elf booty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favourite class?

at first it was rogue dual wielder ! i played as a rogue in every single first-time playthrough and idk i felt that class has always been the easiest/most op. but in the last maybe 2 years it’s changed to mage. ive always been super intimidated by magic classes in every game i play but i LOVE inquisition’s mage classes/specializations and i can never go back now

do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

im so so so bad and i usually end up making very similar choices, but usually bc i just......replay the same characters every time hgtuhgtruhgtrui. i REALLY need to make more da ocs to explore more choices but....i dont want to lol i already have to many. i still havent sided with the templars in a playthrough like i just cant do it 

go-to adventuring group?

i always bring my characters love interest with them no matter what, just bc its cute, but usually i try to evenly cycle the other characters around that. i always try to have a warrior/rogue/mage in every party. but sometimes i’ll go warrior/warrior/mage/mage especially if i need to focus on straight damage and a LOT of healing lol

my favourite parties would probably be:

dao - alistair + zevran + wynne (wholesome and also funny)

da2 - anders + fenris + merrill (SO much chaotic energy)

dai - solas + cassandra + cole (i just love them ok)

which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

ashara lavellan, my canon inquisitor who was never supposed to be canon tghtgurhtrg. my original canon inq was a trevelyan rogue, who was super nice and good. i made ashara so that i could actually play as an evil/mean character without feeling bad lol, oh and i also wanted to see what the deal with solas was bc i had heard his romance was good ;;;;) anyway that backfired and i ended up completely falling in love with her, and i STILL couldnt make the tough choices with her so i was like ok maybe she isnt THAT evil and now shes just..... the way she is now i guess lmao

favourite romance?

trhhtruih okay u guys KNOW its solas. u know. i dont even have to say anythiing about it bc...u fucking know

(alistair’s is very close tho)

have you read any of the comics/books?

i havent :(((( im such a bad fan but i cannot deal with ordering online and thats the only place ive been able to find them. im planning on reading asunder and the masked empire as soon as i get the chance (and the money) tho !!

if you read them, which was your favourite book?

nope

favourite DLCs?

trespasser ! its pretty simple and very plot-driven like u didnt have to worry about side missions as much as u would with other dlcs so idk that was... refreshing. but obviously i loved it just bc it was so beautiful and intense and sad (since my chara romanced solas obviously) and that music score????? unbelievable i’ll never be over it

things that annoy you.

can i say the fandom trghuitgrhutrhui

mostly the thing that pisses me off the most is the grey morality. writers trying to make everything deep and Thought Provoking like..... no jerry, slavery IS bad theres no alternative viewpoint lol??????? also the fucking whitewashing makes me see red. 

orlais or ferelden?

ferelden!!!!! (*blows a kiss* for highever)

templars or mages?

mages <3 

if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

i only have like 3 protag da characters and they’re all canon, although emeraude is an au. so ella is my canon warden and ashara is my canon inquisitor, but emeraude does exist in that universe, bc i hc she befriended the warden and alistair when they visited the alienage, and she was very outspokenly angry and didn’t really give a shit that alistair was going to be heir. which alistair really,,, appreciated i guess? so emeraude is made his official elven adviser after his coronation but she also kinda helps out as a royal protector because she’s one of the only people in court they both trust completely lol. also she is....stronk. 

and the only other characters i have for da are obviously side characters who are related to my canon protags so. they’re all canon as well lol

what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

ella named her dog ser bark gthutgrhutghruihtr she thought it was cute ok

emeraude just went with barkspawn since alistair came up with the idea as a joke but she thought the joke was so bad she made them keep it as punishment vjhuightui

i dont really have a hawke oc but.....he named his dog shepard in my playthrough ! like from mass effect ;;;;)))

have you installed any mods?

origins is modded to hell and back and i genuinely couldn’t play the game without mods at this point. inquisition is slightly modded but im in the process of removing them all, and only keeping a few because my game runs pretty terribly with them installed 

did your warden want to become a grey warden?

ella did ! but it was kind of,, a naive childhood dream, she had a really romanticized view of the wardens and she wanted a life of excitement and bravery and adventure, not really taking into consider all the bad things about it (and obviously not knowing the full truth about what it means to be a warden)

emeraude did NOT want to be a warden. she basically had to be dragged out of the alienage because she wanted to stay and protect her community. she never really enjoyed being a warden, although her friendship with alistair was its one redeeming quality 

hawke’s personality?

uh i cant remember the colour/personality thing but he was a combo of funny/ethical. mostly there for memes tho. 

did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition?

for origins i do ! i always make sure alistair and ella wear the grey warden armour, as well as every warden in awakening. thats like, all theyre allowed to wear lmao.

if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

ella would obviously change her family’s murder lol, and emeraude would at least try and change what happened at her wedding, to prevent shianni and the others from being hurt. 

ashara would change romancing solas :((( she was so angry at herself after discovering who he was, and she felt weak and foolish which she HATES more than any other feeling, so she definitely wishes she had never met him for a long time. after she kind of processes it though, and learns to deal with her anger, her answer would be that she wishes she had saved the chargers. it’s the one move she made that actually keeps her up at night sometimes. 

do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

ghuitrhuigtrhugtr so many. canon? dont know her. 

the biggest example would be that i hc king!alistair was at the winter palace during the wicked hearts level. because uh..... celene and the fereldan monarchs had been corrosponding for over 10 years, trying to build up rapport, of COURSE the king would be there to see who the potential ruler/s of orlais would be and whether or not he ought to be worried. like. im sorry but alistair was there lol you can’t change my mind. i also hc he helps ashara with information about the grey wardens during this chapter, because ???? it just makes sense??? im so angry i wish this was canon

are any of your characters based on someone?

ok it was unintentional but ashara reminds me of an english teacher i had in highschool who was very scary but also....really cool and i loved her. it was an accident but,, still counts. 

who did you leave in the fade?

gtiturghtugh okay at the risk of pissing off EVERYBODY who reads this, i left hawke in the fade, even though it was a toss up between hawke and stroud. it was ashara’s fault tho !!! she would have 100% prioritzed an alliance with the grey wardens over like,, some guy. it broke my heart but yeah That happened. 

favourite mount?

i like all the elk mounts mostly ! but i never use them bc they sound ugly af

tagging : @trvelyans​ @f3nharel​ @allisondraste​ @ensevens​ @tethraas​ @talizorah​ @fereldun​ if u are up to it <3 and whoever else wants to do this ! 

[commodorecliche]

hey babe!! I just have a little q for u. Do you have any advice for writing porn/mature scenes into stories? I struggle with this more than anything, and end up making the rest of my piece really awkward trying to write my way around it instead of writing it. Any advice? Sending via ask bc maybe someone else will benefit from my question too.

Woo! I’m finally getting to answer this ask - I’ve been out and about with the fam today. And it was just… not an opportune time to talk about writing about people doin’ the do. But I’m home now and can actually answer this. 

I’m going to put this below a cut, because obviously this is long and NSFW (duh). R18+ below the cut. You’ve been warned! 

Okay so smut can be understandably very difficult to write. From my experience with reading smut, I’ve noticed that the biggest and most glaring issue is that people don’t know how to make it realistic. And ‘realistic’ can refer to a lot of different things: it could be because something is anatomically impossible, it could be because they are over-exaggerating the feelings/sensations descriptions to the point where they are over the top, it could be because the writer is inexperienced and doesn’t know what certain sexual acts entail, it could be because they keep calling a character’s penis their Love Hammer. Staying realistic is accomplished via simplicity: like having the tone of your smut stay in line with the tone of your piece, or maintaining your characters emotional states throughout the sexual experience. But all in all, it’s pretty easy to tell when smut is bad: bad smut just doesn’t feel realistic.

A lot of people’s go-to advice when asked about writing smut is to tell people to go watch porn in order to learn about sex better - but I actually disagree with that tip. I don’t disagree with it from any moral stance or personal preference, either. I like porn. But of course, some porn has it’s moral, feminist, and ethical issues - but those are things that are best left to another post. Porn can certainly been enjoyable and sometimes even helpful. But the reason I would tell most people to just skip trying to learn about smut from porn is because most porn nowadays is astoundingly unrealistic. It’s not made to be informative about sex or how sex works/feels - it’s made to be entertaining to a viewer. And for many people it is. But it isn’t realistic, and a lot of stuff that happens in porn just does not translate well to the page.

If you are curious and feel that something visual would help you get a better understanding of sex, then I would recommend looking up lower budget/amateur level porn. It typically is more realistic as far as the experience of both partners goes.

But aside from that, something that will really help you better understand writing smut?: go read smut. Go find smut that you LIKE. Read a bunch of smut.  Take notes about it. Find smut that sounds AWFUL to you. Find smut that sounds AMAZING to you. Find smut that turns you on. If it turns you on, or makes you feel emotional, then odds are it’s good smut. Naturally, everyone has their preferences as to what they like in smut, but it’s pretty easy to spot bad smut. (I’ll get to that a bit later)

Okay, Lindsey, so how do I understand smut better to WRITE it?

1) Understand the tone of your piece.Tone: The tone of your fic as a whole needs to match the tone of your smut. For example, if you are writing a fic that is heavily emotional, where the focus is mostly on their first time together, or on their emotions/feelings, then suddenly tossing in a nasty, kinky, graphic sex session to top it all off is going to ultimately feel out of place tonally. (That isn’t to say that situation CAN’T be executed well, but it takes skill. But if you’ve got a fic where characters are… learning about their feelings for each other, waxing poetic about how much they mean to each other, being sappy and emotional together, and then toss in a “OH, FIST ME DADDY” scene, it’s gunna feel… off.)

2) Understand the characters you’re writing.Characters: Understand the characters you’re working with. Whether these are your own characters or someone else’s characters (fanfic), you need to examine the personalities that have been crafted for them. Are they a character who would become deeply emotionally involved with someone? Are they a character who is emotional, but also very physical? Are they a character who is reserved/shy sexually? How experienced are they in bed? If they are experienced, then what kind of experiences have they had before? Etc. Because your understanding of a character is how you are going to want to portray them in bed. If they are a shy, inexperienced virgin, guess what? They probably won’t be rushing to swallow a cock. And they sure as heck aren’t gunna be taking a dick the size of a baseball bat up their tush immediately.  Build up to it, make the smut work with their characterizations. 

3) Understand the nature of the relationship you’re writing.Nature of the relationship: This goes along with the previous point, but what kind of relationship do these two characters have? If they are getting together for the first time, have they been friends since they were kids and are deeply emotionally invested in each other? Is this a casual hookup? Are they in love? Have they had sex before and are just now realizing they want to have something more serious together? Have they been in a long term relationship for years and are intimately familiar with each other? Are they sexual strangers? Is this a case of “love/lust at first sight”? Is this relationship meant to last? Etc.

4) Understand what kind of sexual encounter you’re writing.Nature of the sexual encounter: What kind of encounter is this? Are these two characters in a relationship and unable to contain their desire for each other? Are they having a sordid quickie in the bathroom at a party? Are they having soft, slow, meaningful sex together in the quiet of a bedroom? Is this the first time they’ve ever met? First time they’ve slept together even if they already know each other? Are they nervous? Are they desperate and hungry for each other and frantic to have each other? You can make any of these work with any kind of relationship, btw:

“These characters meant for this to be a casual hookup, but they accidentally got a little too emotionally invested".“These two characters have been together for years, they adore each other, and they love to experiment with each other sexually, so sure honey, get that fist up in there.“ “These characters have been pining over each other and are finally getting together.” etc. 

You can have a lot of fun with smut, you just have to figure out what kind of smut you’re wanting to portray. And a lot of that is going to depend on the points above.

Okay, Lindsey, that’s super. I’ve got a grasp of all that stuff, but it still feels clunky! What would making actually WRITING the smut easier?

1) Learn. Anatomy. And learn about sexual acts. Don’t be afraid to look up blowjob tips or look up guides on how to rim/eat out/finger somebody effectively. Go read people’s personal accounts of sexual experiences. Go read comments where people talk about what they like in bed. It’s super helpful.

2) For the love of god, avoid as many ridiculous euphemisms as you can. Think of sex in a much more grounded sense - don’t think of it in metaphorical terms. Some subsitution words are okay, obviously. A penis can be a dick or cock, sometimes even a member, but even that sounds a bit ridiculous sometimes. A hole can be an entrance, a rim, etc… But for the love of god, avoid nonsensical euphemisms. I have seen smut that legitimately, without any hint of irony, called a penis a “meatstick”. Meatstick is not sexy. If you were in bed with someone, and they said “Oh yeah, baby, you like my meatstick?”, you would laugh your ass right off that bed. You would laugh your ass all the way back to your house after you left that moron naked and alone in their bed. Nobody is in bed and thinks to themselves “god this meathammer sure is just the bees-knees”. Sex is sexy! You don’t need to dress it up with ridiculous euphemisms. You don’t need to call a dick a meathammer to make it sexier. Call a dick a dick. Call a pussy a pussy. Call a clit a clit. Call an asshole a hole.  

(**Note: I am speaking from a cis perspective about this. Writing trans characters in sexual situations is something that I feel a trans individual should advise, rather than me. I do not feel it would be right for me to try to offer advice about how one should or should not refer to sexual organs when it comes to a trans or nonbinary perspective, as that is not a perspective that I have experienced. (This is especially important I think regarding body dysphoria; I want trans individuals to have THEIR say about what is or isn’t appropriate as far as genital descriptions. And this may come down to personal preference, like a lot of smut.)  If any trans individuals would like to weigh in on this or offer advice, please feel free to comment! But… I still stand by my assertion that you should never in a million years call a penis a meathammer.**)

3) Don’t forget that sex can range from strictly physical, to strictly emotional, to a mixture of both. And depending on the tone you want to set, you should pick what kind of range you’re working with. If it’s more physical than emotional, try to focus on the physical aspects of it - what are they physical sensations? If it is more emotional, then show how the character is feeling as the actions take place. Most of the time, you’ll be working with a mix of physicality and emotionality. And even strictly physical sex can have emotional sensations (happiness, euphoria, frustration, etc…) Tell us the actions that are happening, of course, but don’t forget to show us how the characters feel about them too.

4) Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Even if this is a one night stand, foreplay is a must. Jumping straight into the sex can be wholly unsatisfying for both parties. Let them kiss - let them bite each others’ necks. Let them suck hickies into each others’ skin. Let them touch, let them tease. Nibble ears, play with nipples, dig fingers into hipbones, grind pelvises against thighs in desperation. Let them be hungry for each other. Like someone once told me: If this sexual encounter isn’t a “hit-it-and-quit-it” situation, don’t treat it like one.

5) Avoid too much dialogue - especially lengthy dialogue. Once sex starts happening, your characters likely won’t be having lengthy conversations about the meaning of life, ya know? Dialogue can certainly happen, but it’s not like a normal conversation. It’s breathy, it’s strained, it’s needy, it’s curt. It’s filled with moans and whimpers and uneven breaths. 

If it’s desperate/quick/needy sex, keep your speech curt and to the point: “Yes”, “God, fuck”, “Please”, “You like that?”, “More”. If it’s more relaxed/emotional sex, your speech can be a little lengthier, but not by much: “You’re so beautiful”, “God, I love you”, “I’ve missed you so much”, “Tell me you love me”, “Please, I want you”, “It’s okay”, “Kiss me”, “God, you feel so fucking good” (PS, don’t be afraid to let them swear).

6) Focus on the big picture - don’t just focus on the actions, or even just the emotions. What sounds are they making? How are they breathing? Are they nervous and whimpery? Are they aggressively desperate and growling with need? Do they moan? Is it hot in the room? Are they above the covers? Under them? Do they hiss when they’re touched? Are they breathless? Do they bite and kiss and lick? Do they rake nails down each others’ backs? Give us a whole picture. (And as with any writing: SHOW DON’T TELL. Don’t say “He breathed rapidly”, say “He panted” instead.) Paint us a picture, give us a scene to visualize.

7) Think about what YOU enjoy. Seriously. If you’re ever in doubt about whether or not something sounds sexy, or if it would feel good or not, think about your own sexual experiences and about what you like. Whether you’ve been with a partner or just on your own, or even just remembering your own fantasies. You likely understand sex and sexual sensations more than you think you do. If you ever are unsure, think of your own feelings, your own emotions, and your own sensations. It can really help.

Got any examples, Lindsey?

Making smut sound realistic takes some skill, but of course, like with any skill it just takes practice. The more you write it, the easier and more natural it will be. And the better you understand sex (whether from experience, observation, reading, etc…), the more easily you’ll write sex. Below, are two examples: one is an example of “do” (using a snippet from one of my own works, hopefully that isn’t too... idk, pretentious? it’s what i had on hand lol) and an example of “don’t” (using a notoriously bad, published erotica scene).

Do:

Shiro presses down into him, body rolling against his - fluid and pliant and wanting, going wherever Keith would have him go. He only moves away when Keith ushers him to do so. Nimble, determined fingers push at the waistband of Shiro’s pants, urging them down as best he can. Shiro understands - he’d have to be a fool not to - and he leans up, ridding himself of his pants and briefs as Keith unbuckles his own and does the same.

They’re naked now and Keith’s body feels the same as it always has. Shiro finds comfort in the familiarity. He eases between Keith’s legs once more, folding himself down close, his elbows resting at either side of Keith’s head. He cages him, encases him, guards him off from the world, lowering his mouth to Keith’s with a gentle roll of his hips.(from my fic, “Coherence”, there is more smut in there if you want to see more of how I write it, this is just a little snippet)

(for the love of god) Don’t:

He came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he’d ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.(from “Winkler” by Giles Coren)

Takeaways: 

- Don’t be afraid to research- Don’t be afraid to talk about how things feel- Don’t be afraid to talk about what things/characters are doing- Don’t be afraid to emulate your own experiences- Don’t be afraid to show the physicality of it- Don’t be afraid to show the emotional aspects of it- Stay grounded, stay realistic

So yeah, that got a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but I hope that this was at least somewhat helpful! If any of y'all have any specific questions/concerns that I didn’t address here, please feel free to reply/message/inbox me and I’ll do my best to answer!

Thanks for taking the time to read this monster-length wall of text, too… I hope it helps!! 

[amai-6]

so w things happening as of late.. like w kuraine leaving and all.. its been strangely quiet w out her always nagging about something. but i was thinking on aaron a bit bc he was super pissed and i felt bad for that baby boy. sheryl would go out of her way to make him feel better too.. and that led me further down this rabbit hole.. and i got to thinking.. lucy is born in the beginning of august, so sheryl is pregnant all through the summer months. and we all know how little this child wears, but when that tummy starts growing, she starts wearing shirts that cover it. so she still wearing them tiny shorts, and tank tops since that still gives her some freedom. she cant wear her boots after a bit bc theyre too clunky and her feet prob swell like most pregnant ladies. so aaron has to get her new shoes. and she’ll prob need new shorts too since everything is growing. 

but sheryl wanting to go out when aaron does come home. so he takes her to go for walks or something, since she cant get out like she used to. they go baby shopping. sheryl looking at all the baby stuff and not sure what to get. she wants to be surprised w what she has, but to be prepared, she wants to know. so she calls the dr one day when aaron isnt home to find out shes having a girl and gets excited and makes aaron come get her... unless he absolutely cant, then cory can come over hahah sheryl can drag him through stores grabbing cute girl things. 

sheryl looking at cribs tho.. but doesnt want to get on bc the baby doesnt even have a room. she’ll have to share w her and aaron. sheryl having mood swings too.. omg.. a sheryl that cries easily omg what.. aaron just sighs one day on the couch, and sheryls cuddling and just starts crying. hes unsure what happened, and shes ‘ur so nice, i didnt mean to get pregnant we can sell the baby’ and he can stop her there bc omg these mood swings. he even remotely sounds like hes upset and she just cries more so he just awkwardly puts an arm around her and sheryl leans closer into him and it gets quiet cause she fell asleep hahah

sheryl making him feel her tummy for the first time, just grabbing his hand and forcing it against her tummy. aaron feeling his baby kick for the first time. hell prob leave and such bc wow too real.. theres a child rly in there this is rly happening. 

al the times sheryl will need to go to the dr for her health. scared out of her mind bc she was on so many things and now shes having a baby and she was still on stuff when she found out she was pregnant. shell worry if that will mess w the baby and then theres her withdrawls from everything... getting rly super sick in her first trimester that theres a few days they think it best to just remove the fetus and sheryl refuses. she can still tell her baby is ok and alive, just bc shes sick doesnt mean her baby is. sure enough they both pull through and sheryl has to take it easy and be on a certain diet so her and the baby get the things they need. then this all leads to sheryl having to be pretty much on bedrest her third trimester cause its taking a toll on her but shes refusing to give up on this baby. she doesnt expect aaron to stick around so she tries to get everything she needs so she doesnt have to get up. 

one day she wakes up w bad cramps but doesnt think anything of it, until they start getting worse as time goes on. when it hurts bad enough to make her eyes tear up, she calls aaron, worried somethings wrong. if aaron can come hell take her, if not cory shows up and helps her to the car. turns out its early labor and sheryl starts panicking bc where is aaron, he cant miss this.. she needs him. 

cory calls aaron, lets him know, aaron can hear sheryls colorful vocabulary in the background and debates going or not. when he does show up, theyve got sheryl drugged up a bit for the pain, and just waiting to see if she can do natural labor like she wants. when sheryl sees aaron, she just smiles and rubs her belly. ‘my magic eight ball says we’re lucky today’ aaron plopping in the chair close by and sheryl watches him, aaron avoiding her gaze. then the contractions worsen, sheryl whines, something happens, its not right. sheryl starts panicking and aaron gets the dr for her. they have to perform an emergency c section and sheryl waits for aaron to show up. its a bit before he does show up, in all those scrubs ur supposed to wear pfft. all that hair tucked into one can u imagine hahaha ..anyways, sheryl worries through the whole thing until they lift the crying newborn up to where she can see and sheryl just relaxes, her baby is ok. they fix sheryl up, get her back to her room, and soon bring her the baby. shes excited to hold her baby, but looking at aaron, she motions for the nurse to hand the child to him. aaron tries to back away, but sheryl makes sure hes cornered. thats when she sees aaron hold his daughter for the first time and just. all the feels man. 

thats all i have for rn.. i might add other things idk lol