#does doom incarnate like to hold hands i need to know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

silvermuffins · 9 months ago

Text

Okay now that I am not six minutes away from an intense game of trivia, and also do not have a headache, lemme see if I can explain these with a bit more fullness.

Temperance is about balance and harmony, and it's such an easy go-to for Four that it feels too easy. When the Colors are one united whole, they all contribute to how he acts and reacts, and they balance out one another's extremes. His personal struggles revolving around teamwork and cohesion fall nicely here, too. He may be good at teamwork generally, and harmonizing himself, but he still has work to do with the rest of the Chain. It's an ongoing dance. ...also, I could not resist the pun. You know, temperance, like tempering swords, because he's a blacksmith--

Twilight gets Death, and no it's not because of Sunset. Contrary to common media portrayal, Death does not mean doom or destruction, and only very rarely indicates a literal death. It's not a bad card! It can be an incredibly positive card, depending on the situation. Death in tarot means change. Death of the old as a means for birth of the new. His shifting between man and wolf is the most basic representation, but I also thought of how he's had to adjust his life, his vision of his future, multiple times over his adventure. It strikes me as a very internal change. He returns to Gordon after his adventure, but how can he go on living the same way after everything? He can't. It's a bit melancholy and a bit scary, but there's a lot of room for new joy - like meeting the rest of the Chain. Twilight isn't a boundary between day and night. It's a transition.

For Wild, I picked Star, which is associated with hope. I think of it as a very peaceful card. Things are still difficult and tumultuous, after the destruction of the previous card (the Tower), but there's reason to believe it will end. Even in the darkest night, the stars are out there. They may not individually give us much light, but they remind us we need only wait for the sun. Similarly, Wild's journey through his Hyrule is one of both incredible devastation and thriving, breathtaking life. The Calamity is still ever-present, the people still struggling to hold on, but the land is alive and the Hero has risen again. Wild carries this promise of hope into his journey with the Chain - I think of his role in helping Twilight overcome his wounds. Wild still has a lot to wade through, there will be mistakes and slip-ups, but there is ever that distant light that promises, eventually, everything will be alright.

Wind gets Sun, not only for his sunny personality, but because it represents joy and fulfillment. You make it through the night, and then you bask in the splendor of day. I think of his role in the cycle, and how he marks the end of it. He is not an incarnation of the hero's spirit, he does not bear Demise's curse. He rose up and claimed his role with his own hands and by his own will. For it, he achieved killing Ganondorf and washing away the long and brutal history created by the cycle. Hyrule, or rather, the people of a land once called Hyrule, can enjoy a new day, free from all of that. It's the happy ending all of the heros seek, but to an even greater level. And I think of how protective of Wind the Chain is, and I don't think it's just that he's the youngest. I think it's that he is proof that ultimate victory is possible. He is a hero, but without any of the tragedy of destiny. Wind shows that the best case scenario is still within reach.

Time I gave Hermit, after a lot of deliberation. I almost gave him Judgement. But I think Hermit suits him well. This card is about introspection, and coming to understand one's self. I think of Time's many masks, and how his adventures through time have messed with his growth. The question of who is he, really, is one he must constantly answer. Having others grounds him in reality - Malon at home, and the rest of the Chain on this adventure. Otherwise I think he'd spend a lot more time locked in his own head, trying to sort out the many tangled threads that have made him who he is.

Legend gets Lovers, and I admit partly it's because I cannot stop giggling over how he and the others would react. But it does suit him. While the Lovers card does refer to love and romantic relationships, there's more to it than that. The relationships concerned don't have to be romantic, just close. Legend has met and deeply cares about a lot of different people. I leaned more, however, on the other major but often neglected meaning - choices. It's about choices of how you are going to relate to other people and the world around you, and specifically choices meaning you choose one thing, but give up something else. The choices you cannot avoid, the ones that are too personal for a correct answer. I think of Legend's attitude, how much he cares behind his prickles, I think of his adventures. Among the Chain, he seems acutely aware of tensions and moods. It's a card that is difficult for me to pin down, but when I think of it as about how he relates to others, how he lives his life, how he chooses to be and weighs every decision consciously...it feels right.

Hyrule I had some difficulty pinning down, but settled on Strength. This card is not about pure power or might. Very much the opposite - it's about alternative kinds of strength. The courage to defend the misunderstood, to offer gentleness to the hostile, to stick to what you believe is correct . I think of Hyrule being a traveler from outside Hyrule who stepped up to help. He reaches out with kindness. I thought about giving him Justice, because he seems to me like he cannot ignore a wrong, but I thought of his insecurity. He thinks himself less of a hero because he compares himself to Legend and his other predecessors. He may not be as strong or as skilled. But he is incredibly gifted with magic, and has the power to heal. His refusal to give up on Twilight cannot be called anything less than heroic. He is just as strong and just as brave as the rest - but in a different way. I think once he can accept that, he'll be damn near unstoppable.

And now we get to Sky, who I had so much trouble with I was tempted to scrap this effort altogether. I gave him Magician because it's about action and impulse. The thematic connection of the Magician linking heaven and earth is a bit on the nose but did bring me to this card. The Magician is a card that indicates a project about to begin, where the only next step is to begin walking. And maybe that first step will be a stumble, but it's go time so hop to it. The Magician already has all of the tools needed to succeed, after all. I thought of Sky's role as the hero who began the cycle, and as one of the founders of Hyrule. It felt appropriate to place him at the beginning the way I put Wind at the end.

Finally, Warriors. Now. There are those who will see Devil and think I don't like him or something, or think that this must be a card that means bad things. Neither of those are the case! While there are many negative associations with the Devil, I think it's a card that gets a worse rep than it should. Yes, it relates to temptations and indulgence. Those can be very dangerous things, left unchecked. But in moderation they can be very good for the mind and soul. That said, I gave this card to Warriors partly because I was struggling a lot, and partly for his complexity. There's a lot of different ways to read him. In that way he's similar to Legend, and since there are many visual similarities and thematic parallels between the Lovers and the Devil, that felt appropriate. I could have swapped them. But I thought of Shadow Link's role in Hyrule Warriors, and how Warriors might well feel like he has to be ever-vigilant against threats both external and internal. It must be a rocky, narrow, and winding road to walk, balancing his darker side against his thoughts and feelings, against what would be easy, what would be efficient, and what would be right. I see him as less being directly represented by the Devil, and more that he is in constant struggle with what it represents. But again, this one was very very hard, and I could probably argue several others if I tried.

Okay there we go that's my thought process on those

So this is what I came up with. Listed in the order I settled, but several are cases of "I don't have a super strong argument, just sort of a vibe when viewed from the right angle".... It's the kind of thing where there's as many good answers as there are interpretations, you know?

6 notes · View notes

wutheringmights · 3 years ago

Note

Can I be greedy and ask for all of the boys ? And any characters you have strong opinions on? Pretty please? With lots of cherries and chocolate on top? ( for the ask meme ofc)

Anon, I'll finish up all of the boys in the Chain just for you. And trust me, I have an Infinite Amount of Strong Opinions. You have no idea how Opinionated I Am.

If anyone is coming in late to this, here are the boys I have done already and a short summary of my thoughts (click the hyperlinks to get the full Opinion):

Warriors: he's best when he's the trashy anti-Link, and I like him so much

Twilight: kind of boring, but I have a soft spot for him anyway because you never forget your first

Wind: should have been aged up a little so that he can have that identity crisis I'm craving

This... gets long. Really long. 3-hours-of-work-long. Before you read, please note that even when I speak negatively about something, it’s not to diss anyone who does like the thing. I’m not vague posting or being passive aggressive. This is all written in good humor and good faith.

That being said, let’s a-go!

-Sky-

What I love about them: He has one of the best character arcs of all the Links. I love that he starts off being lazy and kind of a jerk, but grows as a person because he wants to save his friend. And I love that he's truly the most courageous Link. He has no other successful hero of past or legacy to lean back upon to reassure him. He walked into that fight with Demise with no assurance from anyone that he would succeed. Yet, he does it anyway. Because he's a true hero and someone had to be one. And he's rewarded with a curse that he does not initially take seriously. He thinks he's saved everyone, yet he's cursed his spirit, possibly his bloodline, and his entire legacy of the kingdom of Hyrule into a doomed cycle of destruction. All because he dared to face evil incarnate. I love him.

What I hate about them: You know how I called Twilight boring? I should have saved that critique for Sky. LU Sky is actually the most boring interpretation of his character. All of his negative traits? Gone. All of his positives? Also gone. He's the blandest version of himself, and like Twilight, I now feel like I gotta add some spice to him to make him more interesting while still keeping him recognizable. Even so, he's still one of my favorite Links.

Favorite Moment/Quote: When he kicks Twilight's ass at sword fighting. That's stuff is *chef's kiss*

What I would like to see more focus on: You would think that there would be more angst out there about him realizing that he's actually been cursed, but it's still kind of hard to find. He's the Cursed Knight! The beginning of a terrible legacy! Imagine meeting a bunch of heroes for the first time, and instead of being relieved at having someone who understands your experiences, you're filled with horror at realizing that your victory was a false one. You didn't win. Your spirit will never be at rest. Imagine dealing with that realization for the rest of your life. You could never be at peace.

What I would like to see less focus on: I love that he loves his wife, but he's more just the fact that he's married, y'know? I would like to see a little less blind devotion to Hylia and Zelda, and more complicated feelings about being manipulated into being the hero.

Favorite pairing with: Sun/Link/Groose OT3! I have no reasoning behind this other than I like Groose and Groose definitely had a crush on SkSw Link.

Favorite friendship: I won't answer Groose again even if I want to, so I'll say Warriors. I cannot begin to describe how elite this friendship would be if you gave it a chance. They're just two boys dealing with unique positions of leadership and responsibility. They would probably even bond over being shitheads at different ends of the shithead spectrum. It's so good, okay?

NOTP: Ghirahim. I'm not too adverse to this one, but the ship hinges on whether you can redeem Ghirahim or not. In my opinion, Ghirahim is awesome because he's such a fun villain. Redeeming him ruins the fun.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole life story planned out for Sky. Basically, he lives to be close to 500 years old by the power of the Triforce. He is the Link throughout the Era of Chaos who banishes the Dark Interlopers to the Twilight Realm and seals the Triforce in the Sacred Realm. He actually seals himself in the Sacred Realm as well to keep the Triforce safe, and he fought Ganondorf in when he broke in. Sky, like Time and Wind, does not get a happy ending.

-Four-

What I love about them: Four is origin of the heroes of Hyrule being known for being children. What a legacy to leave behind. He's such an interesting case of an incarnation of the Hero's Spirit, too. He fought Vaati, and he did his job so well that Demise's next incarnation had to be Ganondorf. Four did his job the best out of everyone, and it came at the cost of creating a magic sword that changed him permanently. I like to think that the Four Sword was not meant to split him, that it was a mistake he made with the design. And it's sad, isn't it? You made a defective sword, and like any good sword, it has a symbolic double edge. It gifted you with so much, and yet he can never be the same again. And his story is never well-remembered because it is overshadowed by the Links who fought the King of Evil. He's does so much, yet his legacy is underappreciated.

What I hate about them: I want to prepare you for this Opinion, because I know it's unpopular. Are you ready? Okay. I don't like the Colors. I'm sorry. I want to like them, but they don't interest me at all. Because they are parts of Four’s personality, they have to be one-note archetypes which does not make for exciting storytelling. I also haven't found a fic yet that has been from Four's POV that did the internal monologue of the Colors in a way that wasn't a pain in the ass to read. Maybe if someone can figure out how to do the Colors in a way that doesn't feel like a drag, I would like them more. But in the end, I think Four himself is more interesting than the Colors.

Favorite Moment/Quote: The fact that he didn't want to touch the Master Sword because he doesn't trust magic swords. That is every I need to know about his opinion on his own adventures.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want more of Four as Four. It's getting harder to find content of Four being his own person first and the Colors second.

What I would like to see less focus on: Four being the Colors first and his own person second. There is something about viewing Four as this cover identity for the Colors that doesn't feel right. There's a balance that needs to be strike between his ability to split, how that affects his every day life, and his own identity of being Four. I think I may have read one fic that hit that sweet spot for me, but still.

Favorite pairing with: Shadow. I'm such a sucker for befriending and falling for the enemy. That is all.

Favorite friendship: Dot! Their friendship is super cute. I like the idea of them being super close when they were younger and struggling to keep the friendship going as they age due to how much their paths in life diverge.

NOTP: This isn't necessarily a Four or an LU problem, but people who ship the Colors together? Bro. C'mon.

Favorite headcanon: I'm torn between two different Four and the Master Sword headcanons. On one hand, Four thinking that the Master Sword is just legend until he meets Sky and everyone else is just a fun idea. He sees the legendary sword for the first time and his mind is blown. On the other hand, I also like my Four with a side of hubris. What if he had the option on his quest to draw the Master Sword himself? What if he could tell that if he did that, the consequences would be terrible. He's not sure what would happen, but he knows it would be terrible. So he decided to make his own sword instead to disastrous results. Wouldn't that be tragic or what?

-Time-

What I love about them: Last winter, I did a two hour powerpoint for my friends about the Legend of Zelda timeline. During that powerpoint, I was rating every iteration of Link. What I said about the Hero of Time then holds true to my thoughts of LU Time now. Time is the original Link, more so than Sky in the lore and Legend/Hyrule in real life. Every other hero is a reflection of him. So the fact that his story is about the loss of childhood and the tragedy of that is incredible, and you can see those themes reflected in every other game. Moreso, he’s the only Link with a confirmed tragic ending. Not only does he end his life unsatisfied, but his adventure is failure on every timeline. In the adult timeline, Hyrule is swallowed by the sea. In the child one, Ganondorf returns again. In the fallen timeline, Hyrule fell. I like the idea since that the games themselves are the legends that are past down about each hero, Hylians have also remembered Time as a tragic figure. Yet, they also remember that the happy moments for his life come from small acts of kindness. Even someone as sad as him finds joy in helping others, even if it’s just to small deeds that will not be heralded as grand heroic quests. It’s beautiful.

What I hate about them: This is more about Mask than Time, but Mask is not an adult in a child’s body. He did not rewind time in Termina enough to be considered mentally an adult. He’s a young teenager at best, and that’s me being generous. He is a child who was forced to be an adult and despite the gods being done with him, he cannot conceive of ever having a childhood again. So he can say all he wants that he’s an adult, but he is not. That’s just what he thinks he is.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Anytime we get a flashback to him being a younger adult is great. I want to see more of his in this his early adulthood.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think I just want more of Time being... not a bad leader, but being an imperfect one. I honestly think he’s only the leader because he’s the oldest and enough of the heroes recognize the title of Hero of Time. But he is not the leader type, and he is struggling to keep it together and has to defer to Twilight and Warriors for help a lot.

What I would like to see less focus on: I’m not the biggest fan of Dad!Time for any of the Links. He’s not emotionally ready for it. And I think he defaults to treating the boys like adults because that’s how he wanted to be treated when he was their age.

Favorite pairing with: Malon. He has this great partnership of equal respect with her and it’s just. So good.

Favorite friendship: Linebeck. I know. This exists only in my head. But if these two ever meet, you cannot convince me that they would not get along swimmingly. It would be so good (once Linebeck gets over his crush on Time and stops hitting on him, of course).

NOTP: Child Timeline Zelda. Let me explain: I fully believe in Bi Time supremacy, and when in OoT, he definitely had a crush on Sheik. However, one of the worst parts of rewinding time and being in the child timeline is that Zelda is a completely different person now. They may have been friends in the other timeline, but her life experiences are completely different now. She is not the same person as he once knew. And it’s tragic to know someone as who they could have been, not as they are.

Favorite headcanon: After Termina, Time spent a lot of time with the Nabooru because out of everyone he knew, she’s the only who took him seriously even as a child. She has big older sister energy, and he considers her a part of his family. However, being treated as such made it easier for him to ignore his issues and put off his healing process by a few years.

-Legend-

What I love about them: Veteran of Heroes! What a freaking title. I love that he keeps on finding adventures, and that he keeps hustling. Even if he complains about never getting a break, you can tell that he loves helping others. He loves being on the road, never settling down, and finding adventure after adventure. Honestly, if any of the Links had a calling to be a hero, it’s him. Is he tired? Sure. Is he a little jaded after having saved Hyrule and a bunch of other kingdoms multiple times? Yes. But at the end of the day, he likes being a hero. This is who he is. His complaining is not genuine; he just plays the martyr because, at this point, he’s earned the right to.

What I hate about them: If you can’t tell by now, I have a, uh, different interpretation of Legend from popular canon. Fandom Legend is not right to me. He is unrecognizable. It is hard to write him because I feel like I have to balance what other people think Legend should be versus how I think he is. The people who are big Legend enjoyers probably feel the same way about my version of Warriors, and that’s fine. I’m not going to gel with every character and I don’t expect everyone to gel with how I see characters either. It’s goes both ways, y’know.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I like how subtly he tried to approach the Wolfie problem at first, trying to ask questions and get more proof before confronting Twilight. It’s a good touch.

What I would like to see more focus on: If I had to choose one thing, it’s this one throw away line about him never wanting to settle down. I’m telling you, folks! He likes his lifestyle! And did you see him when he does presenting the origins of the hero? He’s not bitter about being a hero! Legend is moody, but he is not angsty about the whole hero thing. Have fun with him please!

What I would like to see less focus on: If you can’t tell by now, Legend is my least favorite Link. There is a lot I want to see less of, but just to name one thing, it’s the headcanon that Fable is his sister. I live and die by common born Link, and whether he’s a legitimate heir or the royal bastard, I am more than bored with the persistent Prince!Legend content.

Favorite pairing with: Marin. It’s a good tragic story and I like it well enough. She’s cute, and he’s cute with her.

Favorite friendship: Warriors. I’m with everyone else on these two have peak sibling energy. They tease and pick on each other, but only they are allowed to mess with each other. They’re each other’s bully, and it’s always good to see.

NOTP: I do not have enough energy to have a lot of strong opinions about Legend’s romantic relationships, but I will mentioned that I have lost a lot of love for Ravio recently and am liking seeing him with Legend less and less. I have no better reason for this than the fact that I finally played ALBW and hate how many of my hard earned rupees he’s taken from me by withholding important, lifesaving items. Rat bastard.

Favorite headcanon: Remember my headcanon about him being the coolest bad boy folk hero on the block because everyone thinks he kidnapped Zelda? Yeah, I still stand by that one. I did good there.

-Hyrule-

What I love about them: If there is any Link that I would call a gutter rat, it is this one. I struggle a bit to talk about Hyrule since his games gives us so little, but in the end, I always fall back on him being a hero of the people. He is the one who has nothing and relates the best to people who are at their lowest. Yet, he is still a hero. He earns the right to be a hero because he helped Impa in her time of need. He’s selfless and competent. Even if he never got a traditional education, I bet he’s wicked smart too. He is the Link that symbolizes all of the parts of the Triforce the most. And, god. I cannot talk about him without mentioning the blood sacrifice part of LA. It’s such a cool concept, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being the rough and tumble, win-at-all-costs fighting to protecting yourself first because if you don’t, the consequences are disastrous. It’s paradoxical, and it must be such a different mindset to fall into. But it must also be a blessing in disguise since now he has a reason to finally care about himself.

What I hate about them: Who started the Hyrule is innocent headcanon? Come over here because we need to exchange some words. If there is anyone who would be a realist and know how the world works, it’s this guy. And while we’re here, who came up with the Hryule is always lost headcanon? I also have some words for you. And you know what? WHILE WE’RE HERE, who let him be named Hyrule? I’m have more than choice words for you. His name scheme is the bane of my existence and the express reason why I don’t write him more. God.

Favorite Moment/Quote: That one panel where he takes utter delight in Warriors hiding from his scorned lovers? That is a central pillar in my understanding of Hyrule.

What I would like to see more focus on: Again, his relationship with other people. Even if his games are lacking in NPCs, we know from lore that he’s a good guy who will jump in to help others. He must know plenty of people, and I want to see who exists in his world with him.

What I would like to see less focus on: I have an on-going joke with my brother that certain characters are Catholic, even if Catholicism does not exist in the world of the thing we’re watching or playing. Of course, we’re not being serious. we’re just joshing around. So imagine the gut punch I feel whenever I see people say Hyrule is Christian and realize that they’re being serious. I just can’t take it seriously.

Favorite pairing with: Aurora. It’s cute and I’m a sucker for that hero and royalty dynamic, especially when the hero is a peasant. It’s so cheesy, but I love it.

Favorite friendship: Legend. But not the way everyone else pairs them up as the grumpy one and the sunshine one. I think of it more as them being the pinnacle of boys being boys. They’re shitheads. They do stupid shit together. They both have a dark sense of humor. They joke that they’re practically the same person sometimes.

NOTP: uhhhhhhhhh.... Is he paired with anyone else?

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea that he just likes his way of life and refuses to accept anyone saying otherwise. Legend wants to teach him to read? Sorry, but he’s never had to read before in his life so he’s pretty sure he’ll never need it anyway. Want to participate in the treasured Hylian tradition of piercing your ears when you come of age? Why would he ever do that when a monster could rip those earrings off? He’s stuck in his ways and it frustrates everyone else to no end, but he has no interest in ever changing.

-Wild-

What I love about them: When I was 9, I spent my time online on Legend of Zelda forums. I remember one of my forum friends saying that they wanted a Legend of Zelda game where Link lost. And I think of that friend whenever I think about Wild. BOTW Link is the best Link that has ever been. He is the epitome of every trait we associate with any Link. He’s smart and sassy. He’s hard working and kind. But underlining all of that is the fact that he’s still the one who failed. If Demise’s Curse in SkSw is the set-up, the Great Calamity is the payoff. And I haven’t even talked about how confirming him as being non-verbal before the Calamity does so much for his characterization. I don’t even know where to start or how to articulate it. By game storyline alone, Wild is one of my favorites.

What I hate about them: You guys knew this one was coming, but I’m going to have to say it anyway. Fandom Wild.... not good. I’ve said it for half of these boys so far, but god is it true. I have a way I see Wild that is rarely done in the fandom. Fandom Wild has a lot of the traits I also see in Wild, but to all of the extremes. I will mention one thing in particular as being a pet peeve, and it’s how some people headcanon him as always being nonverbal. I know what they’re trying to do, and I think they’re on to something, but they’re also missing the point of what BOTW Link’s character arc is. I just wish more people would forget fandom and work more off of the games for how to characterize him.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Weirdly enough, my favorite moment is when he got mad at everyone for making fun of his Gerudo outfit, so he dumped Goron Spice in his cooking. It’s encapsulates a part of his character I think a lot of people forget about.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think he has a really complicated relationship with his past. He said himself that his old self felt like a different person, and I think that should be explored a lot more. That idea actually fascinates me so much that instead of CTB, I almost wrote a character study fic about Wild. His emotions are not as simple as feeling guilty about letting his friends die and not preventing the Calamity. His emotions would be so complicated and because I don’t have the time to explore it, someone else needs to do it for me.

What I would like to see less focus on: There is a weird fascination with Wild having memory loss and essentially being like a kid again. And this feels infantilizing to me. It honestly bugs me a lot every time I see it.

Favorite pairing with: I can’t decide between Zelda, Mipha, and Revali. They’re all different dynamics and they’re all good.

Favorite friendship: Paya. I firmly believe that Paya is Wild’s best friend. I am the only one in the world who believes this. But I am also the only one in the world who is correct.

NOTP: Wild is good with everyone. Good for him!

Favorite headcanon: An essential scene of my Wild character study I will never write is one where his horse dies. He goes into shock and walks back to Kakariko to talk to Impa. But once he goes to her, he breaks down in tears and has an absolute melt down over the horse. And Impa sagely says, “It’s not about the horse, is it?” She’s implying that he’s actually mourning the loss of his friends, Hyrule, his life, everything-- but through his tears, he keeps tell her that she’s wrong. He barely remembers them. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t have any feelings about them. He just really loved that horse. But Impa refuses to listen to him, just repeating over and over again: “it’s not really about the horse.”

And that’s it! That’s all of my opinions! I know a lot of my opinions are polarizing, but everything I said is in good faith, and I am not trying to diss anyone for how they approach these characters.

I welcome you to send me your Opinions on the Links, even if it’s just to disagree with me. I’m cool with it, and I like knowing what everyone else thinks!

#so there are my polarizing opinions #heed my note at the beginning and end about acting in good faith #anyway if you read all of this you are obligated to tell me some of your headcanons and opinions #sorry i don't make the rules except i actually do #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu sky #lu four #lu time #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu wild #lu twilight #lu wind #lu warriors #me rambling #ask #anonymous

207 notes · View notes

makiema · 4 years ago

Text

finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel.

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part:

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway, this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is:

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have:

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is:

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human.

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol.

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer)

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya.

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer.

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon.

#bsd #stormbringer #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer spoilers #bsd meta #bsd analysis

370 notes · View notes

awritingtree · 4 years ago

Text

Always have

James Potter x reader

Summary: James and Y/N have always been two peas in a pod, never straying far from the other. Even through James’ endless pining and ramblings about his ‘Lilyflower’, Y/N never left his side. But what happens when Lily’s rejections go too far one day? And what happens when Y/N realizes she’s starting developing feelings for her best friend?

Words: ~5.8k (oops?)

Warnings: fluff, angst, a bit of cursing, pining, making out

A/N: I did not expect it to be this long, I swear. This isn’t the best, especially the angst. I just didn’t know what to write because I kept with both sides of the argument. Anyways, I hope you like this <3

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Important! I just want to say that I have nothing against Slytherins. I love all houses. This was purely for the fic and nothing else. No hate <3

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

5th year

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Y/N Y/L/N, otherwise known as the self-proclaimed Marauders, could be found near the back of the Transfiguration classroom on a cold morning in the middle of January. It was unusually quiet for a room filled with more than one of the Marauders. The night before yesterday had been a full moon and all the four friends were still exhausted from helping their friend with his furry little problem.

James suddenly sat up from the desk he was laying his head on, trying to catch up on some sleep before the day started.

“Hey Evans! Go-,” he started.

“No,” said a voice sharply in response.

“You didn’t even let me finish what I was going to say, Evans,” said James, a cheeky smile painting his lips.

“No, I will not go out with you, Potter!” Lily Evans replied, not even bothering to glance at him.

James huffed and looked away as Sirius, Peter and Y/N tried to hold back their snickers behind their hands. James rolled his eyes at the sight of his idiotic best friends and laid down onto the desk, his head in his arms.

He felt a hand squeeze his upper arm. “Hey, don’t worry. She has to come around at some time.” He twisted his head to the side to look at Y/N, a hint of a smile still on her face from the transpired events. “And even if she doesn’t, it’s her loss,” she shrugged, her hand returning back to her side.

Before James could go off on a rant about how it wouldn’t be his Lilyflower’s loss, it would be his loss, Professor McGonagall’s voice drifted through the classroom, beginning the lesson for the day.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“It’s been years and she hasn’t shown even the slightest bit of interest. Are you ever going to give up, Prongs?” Peter questioned as the Marauders walked from their last lesson, Potions, towards the Gryffindor common room.

“She’s interested, Wormtail. She’s just playing hard-to-get. I’ll wear down though, I know it. After all, how can-” James started off before a certain redhead distracted him.

“Hey Evans! Go to Hogsmeade with me?” James called after Lily.

“Never in a million years,” said Lily swiftly, rushing away from any more potential offers to go to Hogsmeade from an arrogant toerag.

“See, that means she is thinking about the possibility of us happening after a million years,” said James smiling wistfully.

Sirius groaned at James’ response to, yet, another rejection and grabbed Y/N’s hand. “Come on, darling. I need your help in getting that girl from Hufflepuff to go out with me this weekend,” he said as he dragged her away.

“Why me!? Ask James for his help!”

“I’d luck out of all future dates with Prongs’ help if his experience with Lily has anything to say,” muttered Sirius to Y/N, hoping James wouldn’t hear.

“HEY!” they heard James exclaim from behind. Sirius laughed, quickly turning around the corner of the hallway before James could throw a shoe, or something, at his head.

6th year

“Today’s the day. I know it. She’s going to say yes. She has to. She’s been throwing looks at me all day,” James rambled to Sirius, sitting in front of the Gryffindor common room’s fireplace on a Friday evening.

“And by throwing looks, he means glaring and plotting his murder,” said Remus, as he turned a page of the book in his hands. James jerked his head up as the portrait hole opened up, sighing sadly when he realized it was another student, returning from the library by the looks of it.

Y/N looked up at James from the ground, where she sat doing her Arithmancy homework. “James, I don’t think it’s the best idea to ask her out again. After what happened last year,” she trailed off.

“She’s over that,” he said hesitantly. “She has to be, right? I mean, they don’t even talk anymore. And she refuses to forgive him."

"Even if they don't talk anymore, they were best friends. And what you guys did was wrong."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter winced, looking down in shame.

"I know. And we are sorry," James looks down guiltily, looking like a kid caught for stealing cookies. Y/N smiled softly at the sight.

"I know. But she doesn't. And she's not going to want to listen to anything any of you have to say right now."

But James was not listening, for Lily had just walked into the common room with Marlene and Alice. He stood up, a determined look on his face.

Realizing what James was about to do, Y/N reached out to hold him back, "James don't-"

Paying no mind to Y/N, James marched over to a corner of the room where Lily sat, laughing at something Marlene said.

“He’s got a death wish,” said Sirius as he watched his brother walk towards his impending doom.

"Fancy seeing you here, Lilyflower," James said, leaning against a chair, a cocky smirk on his face. Lily looked up, a sour look overcoming her face after seeing who was next to her. "What do you want, Potter?" she asked with a snarky tone.

"You. Me. Hogsmeade. Tomorrow."

Lily scoffed and looked away from him.

"What? Did I say something funny?" James asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Just the fact that you think I'll agree to go anywhere with you."

“Now why would that be funny. We all know it’s going to happen sooner or later,” he said, you know, like an idiot; thinking it would make the situation better. Upon getting no response, James tried again, “Oh come on, Evans, you know- “

Lily stood up abruptly, an angry look over her face. “I knew you were an arrogant, good-for-nothing toerag but I did not take you to be daft. I don’t know what it will take for you to understand that I will never ever go out with you. You think you’re so high and mighty when you’re nothing but a bully! You’re no better than those Slytherins! I hate you. I would rather die than go out with the likes of you,” spit Lily venomously.

The entire common room fell silent at her words. James stood in shock, his limbs forgetting how to function. All he could do is stare at his Lilyflower with a hurt look. The silence was broken by the sound of a book being slammed onto a table which seemed to do the trick and snap James out of his shocked state. He turned on his heel and headed out the portrait hole without sparing anyone a glance, not even his brother and best friends.

“What is wrong with you!?” shouted Y/N as she approached Lily. Sirius, Remus and Peter sat wide-eyed, internally praying for someone to come and save Lily from Y/N’s wrath.

“How dare you!? Got your revenge for your precious Severus, have you, by humiliating him publicly!? I get that you don’t like James and he’s not exactly been the kindest to Snape but that was just cruel! He did not deserve that, nobody does. You may not see it, but James is one of the most kind-hearted and best people out there. I honestly pity you for not seeing anything good in him. Although, I do find it strange how up until last year, you could find the good in Snape no matter what he did or said but for some reason, James is always the devil incarnate. I honestly don’t know what he sees in the likes of you,” seethed Y/N. She turned around heading to the portrait hole, fuming.

She suddenly paused, turning to face Lily, “You know if him asking you out bothered you so much, you could have sat down with him and made him understand maturely and firmly that you were not interested when he clearly failed to take a hint. But the fact that you kept saying no but not taking it any further to make him stop his pursues makes me wonder if you like all his attention after all.”

Without waiting for Lily to form a coherent response, Y/N stormed out of the Gryffindor common room. Slowly, quiet murmurs started to fill the silence left behind by the raging Y/N; everyone discussing the events that had taken place a few moments ago right in the centre of the common room.

Sirius looked at Remus with wide eyes, “Should we go after-?”

Remus shook his head, “I think it’s best if we let her find James. She’s the only person that can comfort him right now and he’s the only one that will be able to calm her down.”

Y/N shivered making her way up to the Astronomy Tower. ‘Should’ve run out with a blanket,’ she thought grumpily, rubbing her arms trying to keep warm.

“Aw is ickle Jamsie sad because his Lilyflower said no again?” she heard the unmistakable voice of Peeves in the distance.

Y/N rushed up the rest of the stairs. “Leave him alone Peeves,” she said as soon as she was within hearing distance.

She entered the Astronomy tower to see Peeves floating up to her. “Oh, lookie here. It’s Jamsie’s girlfriend come here because his Lilyflower upset him,” he said in a mocking baby voice.

‘That doesn’t make any bloody sense’ thought Y/N. She looked at Peeves dead in the eye and sternly said, “I mean it, Peeves. Go away or I’ll call the Bloody Baron.”

Peeves rolled his eyes and left through the wall grumbling, “You’re no fun.”

Y/N slowly walked to the edge of the tower, where James stood leaning against the railings looking out at the night sky. She leaned against the railings next to him. It was a cold, clear night. The stars twinkled against the velvet black background. The stars looked near enough to grasp with the stretch of an arm from where they stood. The crescent moon hung in the sky, lighting up the dark world in a soft, dim bluish glow. A sudden cold breeze blew her hair onto her face and into her mouth, obstructing the beautiful view in front of her eyes. She spat out her hair, her hands trying to stop the breeze from blowing her hair onto her face.

James chuckled watching her struggle before he turned her around so that her back was facing him. He gathered her hair in one hand and held his other hand out. Y/N removed a hair tie from her wrist putting it on James’ outstretched hand. She waited as he carefully tied her hair into a low ponytail before turning around to get a look at his face. She felt her heart crack at the heartbroken look on his face. She quickly wrapped her hands around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. James reacted instantly, his hands finding their place around her waist whilst he buried his face in her neck. Cold tears wet her neck as she felt James’ shoulders shake with sobs causing her to pull him closer and hold onto him more tightly.

They stood there for a few minutes, or it could’ve been a few hours. It didn’t matter to Y/N; as long as James felt better, she would spend all eternity there holding him as he let out his sorrows.

After a while, James pulled away from Y/N, his hands still wrapped around her waist. Y/N moved her hands from his shoulders to gently cradle his face. Her thumbs wiped off the tears on his cheeks as he silently looked down at her.

“She doesn’t deserve you, Jamey,” she whispered, her eyes looking into his. She reached up to fix the glasses sitting crooked on James’ face. James didn’t reply for a while. He continued to look down upon his best friend. Her nose and cheeks red with cold, lips drawn into a frown; her eyes sparkling from the moonlight reflecting off her unshed tears.

“But what if she’s the best I can do?” his voice hoarse from crying.

“I don’t believe that. You are a wonderful human being, James. You are smart and kind. You are brave, chivalrous and a true Gryffindor. You sneak out to the kitchens when one of your friends is feeling low and is in need of some hot chocolate. You are ready to drop anything and everything when someone asks you for help. You became an illegal Animagus so that your friend wouldn’t be alone during his worst moments. You would sacrifice yourself for those you care about without any hesitation. I cannot, for a second, believe that Lily Evans is the best you can do,” said Y/N.

James searched her face for any hint of a lie or doubt in what she said, but there was none. James felt a small smile creep onto his face. He leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you, Y/N/N,” he mumbled, his lips still pressed against her forehead.

He pulled away, moving to sit down with his feet dangling off the edge of the tower. He looked up at Y/N, “Care to join me, love?”

Y/N smiled widely and quickly sat down. She shifted close to James, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, resting his head on top of hers. They stayed like that, gazing at the stars above them.

“Can I tell you something? Full disclosure, but don’t feel offended,” Y/N spoke after a while, lifting her head up with a hesitant look on her face.

James turned away from the sky to look at her. “Of course, Y/N/N. You know you can always tell me anything.” His eyes scanned her face curiously, trying to decipher what she might want to talk about but found nothing.

“I just-” Y/N paused. She closed a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to prepare herself for what she was about to say. She didn’t know how James would react. Would he get mad? Would he hate her? Would he never speak to her again? There was no way to really know.

James, on the other hand, felt concern. What could Y/N possibly have to say that would get her so nervous? Is she okay? Did something happen to her, but he was too busy prancing about fawning over Lily to notice? He really hoped that was not the case.

“I just think you should maybe decide to move on. You’ve been asking Lily out for years and she has yet to show any interest. Truthfully, she treats you like shit, James,” said Y/N, looking over his shoulder not daring to look at him, fearing his reaction. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t sorted in Gryffindor (or just ignore this sentence if you are a Gryffindor).

“So, you think I should just give up?” questioned James with an underlying tone of irritation. “You-”

Y/N cut him off abruptly, “No, of course not! What I mean is I think you need to stop setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment. You deserve happiness in your life, and I don’t Lily is going to give you that happiness.”

James removed his arm from Y/N’s shoulder and turned around to face the night sky again. Y/N sighed and made a move to stand up, but a hand gripping on her forearm stopped her.

Her eyes trailed the hand up to look at a confused-looking James. “Where are you going?”

“I thought you won’t want me around right now,” Y/N admitted anxiously, looking down at the floor.

“Just because you said something I don’t want to particularly agree with doesn’t mean I don’t want you around Y/N,” James said softly, gently tugging her arm telling her to sit back down.

Smiling, Y/N took a seat next to James, again.

“Just think about it okay?” she said after a while.

“I will,” sighed James. He turned his head to the side to shoot her a small grin.

7th year

Y/N didn’t know when it happened. She didn’t know when she, Y/N Y/L/N, started having feelings for her best friend, James Potter. Was it recently? Or were those feelings always there but she never realized it? “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” muttered Y/N angrily to herself. “How could you fall for your best friend!? Especially right after he seems to be moving on from his long-time crush?”

“Hey Y/N/N.” Y/N jumped at the voice and feeling of an arm around her shoulder. She looked to the side to see Remus looking at her with an amused look.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Of course, Remy. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Other than the fact that your voice suddenly became high-pitched, you were talking to yourself there earlier.” Y/N cursed at herself internally. She was really hoping he wouldn’t’ve noticed. Unfortunately, this was Remus, he noticed everything.

“I’m fine. Just stressed. Nothing to worry about,” she said with a forced smile as she continued to walk towards the DADA classroom with Remus.

Remus shot her an unconvinced look. Before he could question her any further, Sirius interrupted them. “Moony! Why’d you leave so quickly? We were just getting to the good part of the planning!”

James and Peter came running behind him, out of breath. Y/N’s eyes connected with James’, staring at each other. Y/N felt her face burning as she looked at the beautiful boy in front of her. They only snapped out of their gaze when Peter asked, “You okay there, Prongs? Your face looks pretty red.”

James’ face flushed a deeper red as he mumbled, “It’s nothing.” He stumbled into the classroom, taking a seat at the very back. He placed his hands on his cheeks, trying to cool his face. ‘What an idiot,’ he thought.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“Today, we shall be brewing the Memory Potion as a review from last year,” announced Slughorn. “You will work in pairs with the person sitting beside you. I shall be grading this as your second test; therefore, you cannot refer to your textbooks. You can get started right away. Good luck everyone!”

James got up mumbling, “I’ll get the ingredients, you can set everything up.” He walked away awkwardly without waiting for a response from his partner.

He soon returned; his hands filled with all the ingredients needed for the potion. Y/N having already set up the cauldron, was writing the recipe down from memory in her book so that they didn’t miss any steps preparing the potion. They got to work as soon as she was done. They worked in silence, knowing exactly what to do to not get in the way of the other but still work as a team.

Y/N searched for the mortar and pestle to crush the sage when a hand holding onto exactly what she needed stretched out to her. James smiled at her sheepishly.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, taking the mortar and pestle. Their fingers brushed lightly. Electricity spread through their bodies from the small amount of contact. Y/N started to crush the sage into a fine powder, attempting to hide the blush forming on her cheeks. Little did she know, James was going through the same struggle.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“Hurry! Wormtail won’t be able to hold him off for long.”

“Shut up! It’s almost-” he said finishing off their masterpiece with a sticking charm. “There. It’s done.”

James and Sirius stepped back to admire their work.

“Achoochoo!”

“I can’t believe we agreed that would be the warning,” exclaimed Sirius as he ran away from the direction of the heavy footsteps.

“It’s not like ‘Meowie-ow’ was a better choice,” James pointed out. Turning a corner, he toppled over, bringing down whatever it was that he bumped into.

“Ow!” a voice cried out from underneath. There was Y/N, underneath him, with him lying on top of her. Her hair was left loose in its natural waves, face free of any makeup. She smelled like sandalwood, he observed. She wore a blue jumper, his cheeks coloured scarlet as he recognized the jumper as his. She looked mesmerizing. His eyes drifted across her face to her lips. And he started to lean in.

Y/N stared wide-eyed at the sight of James on top of her. His jet-black hair was messy as it always was. He wore a green jumper which brought out the hazel colour of his eyes. She loved the colour of his eyes. She noticed his eyes glance at her lips before starting to lean in. She thought he was going to kiss her for a moment before-

“Godric Y/N/N! I’m so sorry,” he apologized, moving to get off her, stopping himself from ruining a friendship. He leant her a hand to pull her up from the ground, putting a hand on her waist to steady her. Time seemed to stop as their eyes connected. The sounds faded into nothing and the things around them seemed to melt away. All James could see was Y/N and all Y/N could see was James.

The sound of a throat being cleared had them jumping apart, realizing that they had been leaning in again. Y/N reached down to collect the books that flew out of her hands when she crashed to the ground, her head hurting from the impact.

“He-here let me help,” stuttered James, kneeling down to help her collect her books.

“Thank you,” she said softly. James smiled at her bashfully, handing her books back.

“I-um. I should go,” said Y/N.

“Yeah. I should too,” replied James.

None of them moved for a small period of time. Y/N smiled at James before walking away in the direction she came from. James stared after until she climbed up the stairs at the end of the corridor.

“So, what was that about?” asked Sirius. James turned around to see his brother standing there with a knowing smirk on his face.

“What was what?”

“Don’t play coy with me. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You like Y/N.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” James brushed off Sirius.

“Don’t lie to me! I am your brother. I know exactly what it’s like when you like someone.”

James continued to look at him with a blank look. Sirius looked back with a pointed look saying, ‘Don’t lie to me.’

“Okay fine, yes. I like her,” admitted James in a quiet voice facing his feet.

“I knew it!”

James didn’t say anything, continuing to look down at his feet. Sirius stared at him. He had never seen James this way, it seemed as if he was almost shy? But that wasn’t possible, James Potter was confident, some would say cocky and arrogant. James Potter was not shy.

“You love her,” stated Sirius.

James sighed and looked up at his brother.

“I think I do,” said James, ruffling his hair. “I think, maybe, I always have.”

James slid down the wall and sat down on the floor, urging Sirius to do the same.

“I realized it a few days before this year. During the summer holidays when Moony, Wormtail and Y/N/N came over. We were all in the back garden. You three were messing around with some muggle device as I was sitting down in the garden and Y/N was helping Mum with the sandwiches for lunch. I looked over her and that’s when it hit me. She looked so beautiful, Pads. Her hair was up in her usual ponytail, blowing lightly in the summer breeze. The sun lighting up her face as she laughed at something Mum said. I don’t know what they were talking about, it doesn’t matter, but the smile on her face took my breath away. When I saw her and Mum interacting, I just- I realized I want to see them interact like that, like mother and daughter, for the rest of my life.”

Sirius gawked at James from this sudden revelation before shaking himself out of it. “You should tell her how you feel, James.”

“No, I can’t,” James shook his head, then pushed his glasses, that almost fell off, up his nose. “Every time I’m around her, my breath gets stuck in my throat and I can barely breathe yet talk.”

James groaned and buried his face into his hands. “How stupid am I?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid at all. But I do think you’re stupid to not tell her,” said Sirius, patting James on the back. “You need to tell her, mate. For your sake and hers.”

James contemplated; he thought out all the ways telling her how he felt could go wrong. Then he thought about all the ways it could go right. He nodded.

“I will.”

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“Hello darling.”

Y/N looked up to see Sirius sitting across from her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked suspiciously.

“What? I can’t come and spend time with my favorite girl?” asked Sirius, a mocking hurt look on his face.

Y/N rolled her eyes at his dramatics, “No, it’s just that you’re here. Alone in the Library. Without any of the others. I have a right to be suspicious with all of your history.”

Sirius chuckled, “We’re not pulling a prank on you, I promise. I actually came here to talk to you about something.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow in question, gesturing to him to go on.

“You like James, and I want to know why you haven’t told him yet.”

Y/N started to cough, choking on air. She didn’t know what she was expecting but it was not that.

“What gives you that absurd idea?” she squeaked out.

“Um the reaction you just gave and the way you look at him when you think no one’s watching; like he put the stars and moon in the sky.” Y/N felt her cheeks heat up at his words. “The funny thing is, he would bring them all to the ground for you if you asked.”

Y/N stayed quiet. Sirius had to be joking, right?

“I’m not joking, darling.”

“Then I think you’re wrong in what you see. He couldn’t possibly like me,” Y/N countered.

“And why would you think that?” asked Sirius, leaning back on his chair.

“He can’t, Sirius. I mean, look at the type of girls he likes. Lily Evans; beautiful, smart, kind, head girl. I’m nothing compared to her.”

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. How could she think that? Sure, she wasn’t head girl, but she was a Prefect. And maybe Y/N could come off as mean at times, but she was the sweetest thing when she isn’t angry. She was just as beautiful, just as smart, just as kind as Lily, if not more.

“Hey, I don’t believe that,” Sirius spoke softly, placing a hand onto hers. “You are an extraordinary person Y/N. James should be honoured to have someone like you return his feelings.”

Y/N smiled at him but with an unconvinced look causing Sirius to sigh.

“Look, why don’t we go to the kitchens and have some chocolate cake. Let’s forget about all this James business for now.”

Y/N’s smile widened at the idea. “That sounds perfect.”

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

A few weeks passed by without anything happening. To say that Sirius was getting impatient and frustrated would be an understatement. He was tired of all the shy glances when the other wasn’t looking and the flirting, so subtle, that none of two realized what was happening.

James on the other hand was pretty content with how life was at the moment. He would sit next to Y/N in all the classes they shared, giving him the opportunities to look over at her as much as he wanted or cause a small ‘accidental’ brush of their hands, jolting sparks up his arm. He enjoyed the subtle flirting and her response as she flirted back, but he didn’t think she realized what she was doing. They were really close friends, after all. They had always been more affectionate and comfortable with each other than any other normal friendship.

A paper hitting the back of his head snapped James out of his daydream of kissing Y/N, how it would feel to have her run her hands through his hair.

“Tell her or I will.” said the note. James turned around to see Sirius with a serious look on his. James didn’t get a chance to reply as the bell rang, ending the lesson.

"I mean it, Prongs. Do it or I swear I will," said Sirius, walking down the corridor with James and Remus.

James looked at Remus for help, but Remus shook his head indicating he was not getting involved in this. Remus knew the two liked each other way before than they, themselves, did. He thought they suited each other perfectly and was waiting for one of them to make a move. But like Sirius, he was left disappointed and frustrated.

"Ah look, there she is" Sirius pointed in the direction where you were walking with one of your Hufflepuff friends, having got back from Herbology. Your cheeks were flushed red from the cold outside, your hair was slightly ruffled from the wind. Your uniform, however, was tidy as always; your shirt tucked in, and tie pulled up to the neck. Others might say you're prim and proper, but James adored how you always wanted things in place; neat and tidy, because 'I have enough of a mess in my head, I don't need it out here too.'

Next thing he knew, he was being shoved into a small, cramped room. The room was lit by the small amount of light seeping through the gap between the floor and the door. James could barely make out what the shelves in the room were stocked with when the door opened behind him, another person getting shoved in.

"What the fuck are you doing, Sirius!?"

Y/N.

"You both know why you're in there. And you're not getting out until it's sorted. Have fun children." They both could hear the teasing smirk on Sirius' face.

Nerves started to wash over James’ body as he realized there was no way out of this. Either he told her how he felt or Padfoot would do it for him which he was sure no one would like. He wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers and took a long, deep breath hoping to calm himself.

He heard some shuffling as a small, soft hand grabbing his, hesitantly. When James made no move to pull away, Y/N intertwined their fingers. “James?” she whispered into the darkness. James took in a shaky breath, finally looking at her. She looked as nervous as he felt.

“Can I tell you something? Full disclosure,” her voice shaking.

‘Is she as nervous as I am? Is her palm sweating, or is it just mine? Godric, how is she not repulsed by how sweaty my hand is?’ James thought.

“Of course. You know you can always tell me anything,” James spoke in a hushed voice as he tried to keep his voice from shaking.

Y/N mumbled something inaudible out.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said, I’m in love with you. I think I always have been,” she whispered out, eyes shifting to their conjoined hands.

James’ eyes widened upon hearing those words; those words he knew, now, that he’d been waiting years to hear; not from Lily, but from Y/N.

Something snapped inside of him.

He slammed his lips to hers and pushed her against the closed door. He moved one of his hands to her hips while the other found its place at her small of her back. His body heated up at the feeling of her lips moving against his. They were slightly chapped, but still soft, exactly how he imagined they would be.

Y/N was shocked. This was not what she thought would be happening when she confessed her feelings. She thought he would surely walk away, never to look back. What gave her the confidence to say her feelings out loud, she’ll never know, but she thanked Merlin she did. At the feeling of James’ hands against her body and his lips moving against hers, in a slow but passionate embrace; it felt like a fire lit up inside of her and was spreading, burning through her entire body. Y/N moved to run her hands through his soft hair, messing it up even more. She pulled him closer, moving her head to the side to deepen the kiss. James squeezed her hip making Y/N let out a small gasp. He took the opportunity and slid his tongue inside her mouth. James let out a groan at the feeling of her tongue against his, pushing her further against the door, leaving no space between their bodies.

Y/N held in a whimper as their lips detached. The feeling of James’ lips against her jaw, leaving kisses down her neck sent shivers down her spine. James sucked on a spot above her collarbone, eliciting a low breathy moan from Y/N. She tugged on his hair and brought his lips back to hers in a slow kiss before they pulled away from each other.

James breathed heavily, staring at the sight of a flustered Y/N against his body.

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, leaving his hand to cup the side of her face. His thumb moved soothingly against her flushed cheeks before tracing her lips.

“I don’t think, I know I always have been in love with you,” he breathed out, his eyes filled with adoration for his girl, wrapped up in his arms.

A smile spread across Y/N’s face, happiness and love shining through her eyes. She pulled him back down into a kiss. Unlike their first kiss, this one was soft and gentle, both of them trying to express years of pent up feelings to each other through the kiss.

Suddenly, the door was yanked open. Y/N fell back with a yelp and James fell on top of her.

“Detention, both of you.”

They both looked up to see Professor McGonagall peering down at them through her glasses with a disapproving glare.

“Put yourselves together and head to class. You’re already late as it is,” she said strictly before turning around to head towards her office with a hint of a smile on her face. ‘Flitwick owes me 5 galleons,” she thought happily.

Y/N gaped up at James, surprised by what had just occurred.

“Did we just get detention for snogging in a broom cupboard?”

“Reckon it was worth it,” said James with a cheeky smile before pressing his lips to hers, pulling her in for another kiss.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

If you enjoyed reading this fic, please like/comment/reblog! Your opinion/feedback is welcome, appreciated, and motivating :)

General taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists

Lmk if you wanted to be added to the taglist :)

#james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter #harry potter #james potter x y/n #james potter fanfic #marauders #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #minerva mcgonagall #hp #hp imagine

649 notes · View notes

sinkix · 4 years ago

Text

Haikyuu!!│Obsessive/Yandere HC’s │

Warning - Contains dark themes, mentions of emotional and physical abuse & sexually suggestive/explicit (18+) content, reader’s discretion is advised.

Characters - Hinata, Kuroo, Daichi, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Oikawa, Bokuto, Tendou & Kageyama.

Important Note: This is in no way romanticising or normalising toxic/abusive behaviour, you should not do as such as this is incredibly dangerous and unhealthy. If you identify any of these in your own relationships please seek help from a member of authority, counsellor or someone who can remove you from and aid in your recovery from the situation. This is a great contrast from all my other work on here so please read with caution. Stay safe <3

Hinata - The Hell-bent Visionary

Danger level: 6.5/10

So you’ve caught the eye of Karasuno’s ray of sunshine?

Bask in it’s warmth while you can, for the sun sets and leaves a chilling dark in it’s wake.

When he becomes focused on something, it’s hard to break the dedication he has. It’s unyielding, firm and persistent. Once you light a fire in him, it’s near impossible to put out.

And you didn’t just spark a flame, you formed a whole inferno.

Blowing up your phone with texts, calls and the tapping of rocks against your bedroom’s glass from late night visits to your doorstep. Greeted with the sickening scent of blood-red roses filling your nose at a reminder of how firmly he has you in his hold that will never falter. The lingering scratch marks adorning the window panes that you could have sworn were not there the night before.

He can’t get enough of you, and the more time he spends with you, the more addictive your presence becomes.

He’s hooked, reaching the point of rivalling his sporting passion.

He learns to balance the two equally, and any second that isn’t spent practising, he is by your side or doing everything in his power to be.

It’s tunnel vision. All he sees is you, and the ball, nothing else matters. Relentlessly chasing for both long after his lungs tire and legs give out.

He is a dark, unwavering force of nature, itching to monopolise you and eradicate any threat on what belongs to him. Yet around everyone else, he's a bundle of lovable sunshine who wouldn't dare hurt a fly, and while he doesn't show an outright aggressive nature, you know there's something sinister lurking underneath that might one day snap.

It’s his stare that haunts you the most.

That ominous, chilling stare which pierces through your heart and impales it on a stick, out on display for him to marvel at in all it’s vulnerable beauty. The level of intensity and sheer devotion glinting in his eyes is nothing short of haunting.

Luckily for you, Hinata will not cause physical harm, but it’s his presence and ‘Jekyll & Hyde’ nature which will slowly but surely chip away at you until your sanity is reduced to dust. The worst part? Since he is loved by everyone, no one sees the twisted side you do, and as a result left permanently in a state of self-doubt and second guessing. Your mind will eventually spiral into a descent to madness until your right where he wants you.

Be careful, for even the sun’s light burns out eventually. And when it does, you’ll be swallowed by the darkness.

Kuroo - The Devil’s Reciprocal

Danger level: 9/10

Ahhh, the bad boy who smells of cigarettes and sex, the one who lurks in bars long after midnight eyeing up his prey. This man gives Satan a run for his money. I hope you’re prepared. What did you do to catch his eye, anyway?

Whatever it was, it’s doomed you to an eternity in hell on earth.

Or heaven, if you’re a glass half full kind of person.

Kuroo drew you in like a moth to a flame, you knew he had no glinting halo, but that was his appeal.

He was the incarnation of everything your parents warned you about, and you couldn’t get enough of it.

Hell, you still can’t. But that doesn’t minimise the damage done to you every second he turns the light on, reeling you in once again, further and further until there’s no escape, utterly blinded by his deceiving tactics.

He has many admirers, you know. So in his eyes he feels you should be privileged to be given so much of his attention, that once received would leave any sane person running.

Unfortunately, you don’t seem to be sane enough, and he recognises this. He knows he’s got you hooked on his every word, dragging out the syllables like a lullaby that leave you entranced and begging for more.

What can I say? The man has a way with words, and you’re totally enthralled by every sentence.

Kuroo recklessly waves his charm like a gun, never a moment of hesitation to utilise it in order to get what he wants.

And he always gets what he wants.

It’s so dangerous it will leave you down on your knees in an act of submission and prepared to do anything to please him. The tip of the pistol aimed at your temple as if daring your defiance.

He revels in seeing that doe-eyed expression, fully aware of how much control he holds over every cell in your body. All of them scream out for him, for Kuroo. To kiss you, touch you and whisper sweet-nothings into your ear that linger with his hot breath scathing your neck, burning his scent into your memory until it’s one you’ll never forget.

With all that temptation comes consequence though, because once you give in, you’ll face the sadists horns that lurk underneath.

Intertwining your bodies and tracing a switchblade across your jugular, he’ll stretch his lips into a wide, cunning grin, slamming into you and rutting his hips until they connect with yours. Throwing your head back in ecstasy, your whine will be stifled and cut short by the piercing slit of a blade shallowly opening the skin of your throat, the sharp sting lingering as his tongue deepens the incision with delight.

He is incredibly possessive, so anyone he deems a threat will be mercilessly eradicated, soon to be forgotten though. He will never allow your thoughts to be consumed by anything but him.

Grinding his body against yours, the husky murmuring of pillow talk he is all too skilled at will leaves your knees trembling and buckling before him, with the one question he will only ever accept one answer to.

“Tell me sweetheart, who do you belong to...?”

Shuffling the cards and dragging cigar smoke across his lips, he’ll sip that glass of gin snidely and lock you in place with his smouldering gaze. Forever a reminder there’s no escape from his enslaving curse.

Daichi - The Despotic Protector

Danger level: 6/10

Karasuno’s father figure and reliable captain rolled into one. I hope you’re prepared for a lifetime of suffocation, because he’s never letting you go.

He takes on an almost a parental role in the relationship, and a toxic one.

Controlling, overbearing and monitoring your every move. He will never allow you to do anything without his permission out of fear for your safety.

I mean, what if something happens to you while you’re not within his peripherals?

That’s a thought he simply couldn’t bear.

He’ll lock you in the confines of his home if he has to. But don’t get mad sweetheart, it’s because he cares for you.

Soon enough Daichi will have isolated you from the world, never seeing the shining of sunlight unless your arm is looped around his in a crushing hold.

Friends? You can forget them, he made sure to steer you far, far away from those. He just can’t risk them laying a finger on you or putting you in harms way, he would never forgive them.

Daichi desperately tries to convince you he has your best interests at heart, and unluckily for you, you fall right into his trap.

Your whole life is consumed by him, and only him. Watching the clock tick by aimlessly until you hear his footsteps up the driveway, scurrying to the door to greet him like an obedient dog upon his arrival.

Pulling you into a loving hug that threatens to squeeze the life out of you, you can’t help but let your mind roam and ponder the question lurking at the back of your thoughts.

Has he ever killed with these hands?

They seem too crushing. Like a brute, inhuman force. You can picture his fingers wrapped around someone’s throat and draining them of oxygen almost too easily.

Little did you know, your hypothesis was painfully accurate.

An old childhood friend of yours, currently 6 feet under in the yard. Your bare feet trampling over his grave and none the wiser every time he allows you to set foot in the garden.

You’ll never know, though. It’s not like you can check your phone without his permission anyway, he’s already blocked their contact.

Days, weeks, months pass by of his constant monitoring and controlling behaviour. The CCTV’s scattered in every corner of the house, the social deprivation and loneliness that creeps in every time he’s not there as you roam the barren household, the purple finger marks roping your wrists from when he kept you in a paralysing grip,daring your disobedience.

and you can’t help but wonder,

Maybe the person you needed protecting from was him.

Tsukishima - The Mendacious Manipulator

Danger level: 8.5/10

How unlucky you are to be paired with this mentally destroying sadist.

At first Tsukishima’s wit, sarcasm and clever quips were what allured you, never did you think they would be used against you. Wielded like a weapon with a blade sharp enough to slice you in two.

And I’m warning you, every cut hurts.

There’s no escaping from it, a string of degrading remarks whispered cruelly in your ear while holding hands in public, appearing to be a cute and affectionate couple, but a sinister secret lurks underneath that only you know of.

He’ll treat you like a dog, expecting you to be at his every beck and call, serving on your knees with a painted smile that’s woefully forced on with every ounce of strength you have left.

You are his puppet, his useless little play thing that he makes painfully aware of how disposable they truly are.

And don’t take him for a fool, he will discard you if he sees fit.

Unmerciful, cruel, snide, are the some of many words that can describe Tsukishima, and as you’ll soon find out none of them are pleasant.

He will craftily make you open up to him. Revealing your deepest insecurities,traumas and troubles then sheath it like a sword to your neck, holding you hostage to your own weaknesses in order to gain that empowering sense of control he oh-so revels in. Endlessly striving to achieve his selfish, favourable outcome.

This Yandere is one of most intelligent of the bunch, and unfortunately for you, does not use his intelligence for charitable or good-natured purposes.

He knows exactly what to say to leave you curled up in a ball, tears streaming and wracked in emotional agony as you plead for forgiveness on something that isn’t even your fault. He knows this, but finds it comical and all too amusing to see you so broken over something when you weren’t the one to blame. He gets off to your mental anguish.

You’ll be left stumbling the streets at 2 in the morning, contemplating your life and everything as you know it, he will warp your perception of the world until he is the only one you can crawl to. After all, it’s your fault, right? He’s the only one who could tolerate you, everyone else abandoned you because you were so insufferable.

...is what he’ll have you believe. In reality, Tsukishima was pulling strings behind the scenes to ensure you would distance yourself from friends and family, resulting in them doing the same. Wrapping you around his finger and twisting your behaviour into one that’s volatile and unapproachable, until you’re left totally alone.

You’ll never know though.

That mental fortitude will soon shatter, and when it does, he’ll cackle at it’s pathetic remains.

Yamaguchi - The Diffident Vampire

Danger level: 5/10

I’m sad to say, but your tween Twilight fantasies will be crushed when you stumble upon this mess of a monster.

I don’t mean to say he’s a literal vampire, but you’ll understand the use of this metaphor once we delve into some of his tendencies.

He is incredibly insecure, the walking embodiment of the very word.

Now that isn’t the reason you should be warded off, everyone has self-esteem issues. However, this trait of his plays a huge part in siphoning the life out of you.

He captured your heart with his soft and sympathetic nature, easily startled and somewhat skittish.

You didn’t see what was below the iceberg however, and once you did, he sank his teeth in and began to suck before you could escape, draining you dry until you have no more left to give. Nothing to spare until he is licking his lips in satisfaction, swelled with the abundance at the emotional dependency he has built up on you.

He needs reassurance like a life line, and while some might find this endearing at first, it undoubtedly becomes highly toxic and emotionally exhausting.

Yamaguchi is incredibly volatile with his sensitivity, you have to watch your words and be sure he doesn’t misinterpret them and become dejected. He will read into everything you say and question every little detail.

This is one of those Yandere’s that wouldn't do it intentionally I don’t think, but by the time he catches himself it’s too late, he’s in far too deep to stop and I don’t think he ever will once he realises how addicted he is to you, your words boosting his sense of worth and being the only form of confidence he’s ever felt in his life.

It’s quite sad, really.

Don’t pity him too much, though. That’s the trap. That’s how reels you in until the teeth marks adorning your neck are a harsh reminder that you are nothing more than food for his ego.

If you ever think about leaving, he will have no qualms grovelling at your knees, razor to his wrists and begging you to stay. A cruel memoire at what keeps you tied here in the first place.

Pity.

Care.

The mutual empathy you saw in him that drew you in was now broken and one-sided, his selfishness far outweighing this trait of his and becoming your death-sentence.

The marks will never fade. One day you’ll collapse to your knees and cave, but he won’t stop until he has bled you bare.

Oikawa - The Venusian’s Nightmare.

Danger level: 8/10

Oh charming Oikawa. The pretty boy with enough carnal seduction to rival his greek goddess counterpart. Hair smooth as silk, eyes glinting with mischief and a smirk that could bow you down on all fours. He has everything, or so it seems.

Sanity isn’t one of them.

He is VERY demanding when he craves your attention, which let’s face it is pretty often. If he doesn’t get it? Definition of a nightmarish brat.

He will whine, complain, blow up your phone. Still not available?

He’ll simply disappear.

For how long? Who really knows. He likes the thought of you on edge and anticipating his return, thoughts of him plaguing your mind to the point you question if you’re the one who’s obsessed.

Don’t worry though, when he returns he has enough sensual suave to make you forgive him ten times over.

You may think his bratty and sulking nature is the worst of it.

Oh how wrong you are.

Push him to his limits or the closest thing to it and you’ll face a cut-throat, teasing sadist who will tie you to the bed with a sickening sparkle in his eyes, marvelling at your skin jaggedly sliced open like a sheet of paper, tracing the wounds with his tongue and lapping up the blood before pulling you into a heated kiss which seems almost loving, if it weren’t for the metallic taste intertwining your tongues as a harsh reminder that you’re not here by choice.

He is definitely the type to mock you and howl with laughter as your body spams and writhes in pain, degrading you with the most vile remarks till tears spill from your eyes.

“Awh poor (Y/N)-chan, crying like a baby. Can’t handle the pain? What a pathetic little whore. Maybe if you beg enough, I’ll ease up the pressure~”

Sometimes he’ll leave you there wrist-bound to the bed post for hours, coming back in occasionally until your level of pleading satisfies him.

His change in treatment is paradoxical in the aftermath, he will release you from your restrains and rub your skin with such tender care, it’s agonisingly deceiving.

One of the most dangerous things about him is his intuition, it’s damn near supernatural and makes for a natural born lie detector. Oikawa will sense the slightest shift in your mood, tone and body language. He knows you like the back of his hand, making it all the more unnerving to be in his presence.

This can be a positive if he is looking to fill you with ecstasy, since he knows every sweet spot, curl of his fingers and words to whisper that leave you trembling in mind-numbing pleasure.

Though you know once coming down from your high, your moments of heaven will slip through your fingers before crashing back down to reality.

He can read you like a book that he wrote with his own hands and it’s horrifying, he can predict what you’re going to say or do before you’ve even made up your mind. Which as you can guess, makes escape or wheedling out of a threatening scenario a null alternative.

If you decide to make the suicidal mistake of lying, your body will never quite function the same once he’s through. not to mention the plethora of emotional scarring that comes along with it.

After catching you in your mendacity and deeming your punishment enough, he’ll decorate your body in cuts, bruises and hickeys that throb from the abuse of his teeth. Laying you down in bed and tucking you in gently, wrapping an arm around in an act of ‘protection’ that was formerly wrapped around your throat in an act of threatening asphyxiation.

Eyes fluttering closed hours after he drifted off beside you, your heart rate quells and the tears staining your cheeks dry, preparing for the repeated cycle when the sun rises.

How foolish to be lured in by such a facade, even the most beautiful of creatures can be hideous.

Bokuto - The Volcanoes Slaughter

Danger level: 9.5/10

The ticking of a time bomb, the cracking of the ground beneath your feet.

Once you are swept up in this man’s wrath you know there will never be an escape.

and he’s fucking terrifying.

His energy and vigour were what charmed you, his upbeat enthusiasm that while volatile, was very contagious and encouraging.

If only you had known what kind of disaster was laying low under the surface.

Akaashi had tried to warn you, but you simply never listened.

He pities you now, for you’re in the same boat as him.

Eternally putting up with his violent tempers and erratic nature, which you often get the brunt of behind closed doors, left to cover the scars with a scarf and cheap pot of concealer.

His moods switch as quick as the direction of the wind, a gust too strong that leaves you flying back like a ragdoll against the wall.

Or that may just be because he actually threw you in a fit of rage, itching to see your limp body crack against the drywall to soothe his rage. Drowning the voices in his head with the sound of your soothing whimpers filled with agony.

While he may beat you black and blue whenever the overflow of emotions take over, he still does ‘care’ for you in his own sickening way, and would never have any qualms snapping a neck or two if it prevented anyone else laying a finger on you.

Though to be honest it’s the furthest thing from care, it’s downright monopolisation of something he deems his object.

How dare they hurt his personal punching bag, don’t they know you’re his and his alone to mark up in any way he pleases?

To everyone else, he seems like a very loving and protective boyfriend who has the occasional mood swing. If only they could pick up on the flinching of your body when his voice raises even a decibel, or the way you retract in fear at the swatting of a hand too close to your face.

The anxiety felt when in his presence is indescribable, your whole body will soon become accustomed to trembling in fear, your fight or flight kicking in at the mere mention of his name. His voice sends every hair standing on end, bracing for the impact that may or may never come from his grazed fists.

Treading on eggshells and analysing every word before you speak will become second nature, even the tone of your voice or the way you arrange a question will be heavily thought over before even daring to let it escape your mouth.

You just can’t risk it, even hearing a word he doesn’t like will result in the tectonic plates shifting, getting closer to his impending eruption.

Once you hear the rumbling, you’ll know it’s far too late to run. Burned by the raging lava and consumed whole in a flood of pain and misery, it will destroy everything in it’s wake, even you.

Tendou - The Jesters Despair

Danger level: 10/10

You really opened pandora’s box with this one.

And once you so much as cracked it for a peak, just that little inkling of curiosity, the lanky arm of a redhead yanked your wrist and dragged you in with him.

Tendou’s eccentric and offbeat disposition was something you had always admired, it was what made your heart flutter.

Now? That eccentricity is put to the most horrifying of uses.

Mind games, manipulation, and unpredictability beyond your worst nightmare.

Tendou is the type to sink a blade into your skin and cackle maniacally while you cry and plead for him to stop. Edging himself and eyeing you up greedily at the painful fear in your eyes, blood trickling down your skin with each incision.

He’ll pull your hair back and slide his tongue along the cuts, his lustful gaze boring into your own as the pooling saliva leaves a chilling feeling on your skin, nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought of his DNA entering your bloodstream.

He thrives on trickery and deception. He’s the type to say something incredibly warm and soft-centred, one that makes your pupils expand in newfound hope with the question of “...really?” rolling off your tongue. That inkling of hope sparking the thought that maybe, just maybe he’s changed.

Only to burst into a fit of laughter at your naivety, teasing you relentlessly for how gullible and moronic he thinks you are.

This yandere is incredibly incalculable. Here one minute, gone the next. Don’t even bother trying to figure out what he’s doing or where he is, you’ll never know. It keeps you on your toes in the most negative and unnerving sense of the expression, he gets a buzz off leaving you wondering, and takes great satisfaction in knowing you’re probably thinking about him.

However, he expects you to be there whenever he needs you, regardless of circumstance. And if you’re not? You’ll have consequences to face.

I’m sorry to say, but there is no chance in hell you’re surviving this experience, there’s no doubt you’ll be murdered eventually.

After all, he does get bored easily. Not so much as giving it a second thought on disposing of you once you are no longer a source of fresh entertainment for his sadistic desires.

With each passing day his treatment becomes increasingly brutal, searching for new ways to fulfil that empty feeling in his heart and cold, hollow look in his eyes. Don’t even bother trying to save him, not even he would know where to start.

Every night as you shut your eyes on the hardwood floor beside his bed, you can’t help but wonder if this is the last time you’ll ever close them.

And for your sake? You’d better hope it is.

Charming you with the humour of a Jester and putting on a show, he’ll make it certain every time you laugh, will be paid back with tears twofold.

Kageyama - The Majesties Tyrant

Danger level: 7/10

Kneel before your highness or face his wrath. Kageyama Tobio is the most commanding of them all. Permanently trapped in his dictatorship with no hope of revolt.

He doesn’t become set on things very often, but once he does it’s something he’ll never give up until he’s conquered it wholly.

Stubborn, moody, domineering and demanding. With just enough of a soft side he uses to persuade you back again.

Fuelled by ego, pride, and a sense of superiority, he will never stop until he has your total obedience.

Being the dense man he is, this is usually achieved through simplistic means of intimidation and threats of aggression.

Kageyama will not hesitate to raise his fist and back you into a corner, cowering in recoil at his menacing aura that itches to do damage

You will do what he says, whenever he needs it, no if’s but’s or objections.

For such a hard headed ruler, he’s surprisingly childish and unsure about how to express anything other than abuse.

I think a part of him genuinely does like you, but it’s far too clouded by his toxic nature that it could never be seen as even slightly redeemable.

The most you’ll ever get out of Kageyama is the occasional hug, in which he squeezes you far to tight and resurfaces the pain of last nights bruises.

He doesn’t resort to physical violence often, as he is always reprimanded by the team to control his anger. If only they knew what he was like behind closed doors. I suppose you could credit it to Karasuno that he hasn’t accidentally killed you yet.

Yet.

When it comes to matters in the bedroom, he is focused solely on his own gratification, yours being a second thought he never so much as acknowledges.

Collared and threaded by chain, you will crawl beside him and take it all until you’re gasping for air. The only thing he cares about is climaxing and leaving you with the cleanup.

He’s quite self conscious, so don’t expect much physical affection unless he’s chasing a particularly intense release.

Kageyama is highly jealous and frequently painted green with envy, so expect your social life to dwindle significantly once he has his hands on you, literally and metaphorically.

Thankfully, he won’t isolate you entirely, but it’s enough to leave you feeling segregated from the rest of the world. A lone member of his regime that you are forever trapped in with no chance of escape.

Bow down with a meek mutter of “Yes...master.” His crown will twinkle in the moonlight as a symbol of your everlasting enslavement.

The king of the court, and the ruler of your heart.

525 notes · View notes

iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years ago

Text

Long Lost Love // Part One (D.M.)

Summary: Two piles of twelve letters, hidden away in the bottom of a trunk, browning with age. Twenty-four letters in total, all addressed to him.

A/N: This is my entry into @teheharrypotter‘s two weeks of angst! I just really want to take a moment and say that I am so proud of this fic and how it has come out, like ridiculously proud of it. I would really appreciate some feedback on this - reblogs and comments are so important. There is going to be a second part where all the love letters will be compiled into one long post. However, I think not giving too much away only adds to the suspense and angst. Also, the ending... I love it and I think you’ll all hate me for it.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: this is a lot of angst combined with hurt/comfort but there’s a lot of growth in Draco (I think?)

Word count: 5.4k

It had been fifteen years since the end of the second wizarding war; it had been fifteen years of healing and working on himself, of repenting for his family’s crimes during the war. Draco Malfoy had aged in that time; his hair had grown past his shoulders, tied back with a black leather hair tie, and there were lines on his face that had not been there when he was an eighteen year old running away from the castle he classed as his home.

He had lived a lifetime in those fifteen years. He had seen the world before training as a Healer; working his way up the ranks to become head of the emergency department of the only wizarding hospital within Britain. He had trained Healer after Healer; many of them going off to establish clinics in their own community, all of them sending cards at Christmas, regaling him of their successes.

Draco had lived a lifetime. He lost his father first. Lucius had never truly recovered from his time in Azkaban, and though Draco had tried his hardest to form some semblance of a relationship with his father, Lucius had remained cruel until the end. Truthfully, Draco doesn’t want to think about what it was that killed him in the end. Whether it was the spite that had poisoned him for years, or whether it was something else. Draco doesn’t dwell on it; instead, he leaves white roses on his father’s grave every Sunday like any loving son would.

Narcissa hadn’t lasted long after Lucius passed. She had been distraught. Whilst Lucius was not a doting father, he was a doting husband and he adored Narcissa until his very last breath on this earth. To Draco, her tears started that day and didn’t stop until she passed away in her asleep. Her heart, the coroner said. She had died of a broken heart.

A feeling Draco knew only too well.

Despite achieving so much and traveling so far, he had only ever been in love once. There had only ever been one moment in his whole life that had been filled with the kind of love read about in books, sang about in songs, and played out in films. Draco had fallen in love with you when he was sixteen years old and entering what would be the darkest period of his life. To him, you had been the light in the dark. The answer to his constantly asked question: will there ever be a happy ending?

Nothing had ever happened; nothing could happen. You were the epitome of goodness; the very incarnate of its definition, and he… he was the opposite. In those days, his self-hatred ran so deep that he would argue he was the Hades of the story. Doomed forever to the underworld only to fall in love with the Goddess of Spring and hope for retribution that would never come.

However, in this version of their well-told myth, Hades and Persephone never fall into a relationship. In this version of events, feelings were known and reciprocated, but letters that pleaded for a chance either never arrived or were never answered.

So for fifteen years, Draco Malfoy has been working hard on repairing his family’s tattered reputation whilst coping with the depth-defying grief that comes with losing both parents within the span of a year as well as never truly dealing with the heart wrenching grief that accompanies a relationship that was never given the chance to bloom.

--------

It was a bright, clear day in the middle of March when Draco decided to clean out the attic. He had woken with the urge to clean; with the urge to organise his life and start to work through the piles of his parent’s belongings. He hadn’t been able to touch them in the beginning; the most he had been able to do was relocate everything to the attic and then shove the very thought to the back of his mind where it began to fester like an open wound.

Bright and clear was the day when Draco chose to enter the long forgotten attic in the Manor. Bright and clear was the day when he had to hold a handkerchief to his face to stave off the inevitable sneezes from the dust floating in the air.

Looking around the old and dusty attic, Draco takes in the first of the mess. Trunks line the wall; some ancient – locks worn down with time, almost rusted from their exile to the attic; others are much newer such as his parent’s belongings. Their trunks remain almost new; their initials still painted onto the lids in bright gold paint.

The majority of the morning is spent creating two piles; one to be thrown away, one to be donated. Expensive gowns and suits were to be donated. Anything that reminded Draco of his allegiance in the Second Wizarding War was to be thrown.

As he goes through the belongings of not just his parent’s, but also his grandparents, Draco begins to feel conflicted. With each addition to the bin pile, he feels lighter, he feels one less burden. However, he cannot help the guilt that unfurls in his stomach as he thinks of his mother’s kind face and her forever painted red lip.

By the time Draco makes it to his mother’s final trunk, he feels as if he has been in battle once more. Weariness hangs heavy over in shoulders, settling in his bones. His body slumped, not just from the tiredness from lifting heavy trunks and boxes, but from the emotional weight of memories freshly unleashed upon him.

Draco’s movements are slower as he opens the lid to this final trunk. He thinks back to the day he filled it; piling his mother’s correspondence and personal effects in here – separate from the clothes he knew he would one day get rid of. He slides his hands over the emerald green lid – a Slytherin till the day she died, Draco thinks as he smiles to himself.

At some point, he lets a few tears fall. It’s the sight of Narcissa’s handwriting, he realises. He hadn’t seen it in so long – not having received a birthday card or a Christmas present this year due to her death. Seeing her strong cursive brought tears to his eyes; he remembers being a child, sitting by her desk, watching her write away and wondering who on earth she could be talking to. If Draco focuses hard enough, he swears he can still smell the fresh ink drying on the parchment and the melted wax being pressed with Narcissa’s signet ring.

At the bottom of the trunk, Draco notices a latch. Frowning, he flips it open to reveal a false bottom hidden away. Uneasiness spreads through him, turning his stomach to lead as he reaches inside to feel two distinct piles.

The uneasiness turns to heavy anguish when Draco realises just what he is holding in his hands.

------

Two piles of twelve letters, hidden away in the bottom of a trunk, browning with age.

Twenty-four letters in total, all addressed to him.

They now sit on his kitchen counter; the ageing paper a stark contrast to the obsidian black of his counter top. Draco leans back in his chair, huffing out a long sigh, running a hand down his face as he does so. It had been fifteen years, but he would recognise your handwriting anywhere.

It had been fifteen years and he hadn’t had any contact with you. He wondered for so long why his letters had gone unanswered to the point where he stopped writing altogether, feeling the keen sting of rejection.

Fifteen years and he now had his answer.

Hidden away in a trunk; squirreled away in the hopes that he would never find them. The hope that he would forget about you and move on. He never had; he just kept his feelings silent, caging them up in his heart along with everything else he kept from his parents.

Anger surges through him. The first emotion he has felt since he opened that damned trunk.

He lets out a choked scream; the intensity of his anger surprising him as he slams a fist onto the counter top, wincing slightly from the pain now radiating up his right arm.

How dare they, he roars. How dare they keep this from him? How dare they keep you from him? Did you not fit their ideal – a pureblood from a well off family? Did you not meet their needs visually? Your hair perfect, your face just the same.

There was no good reason he could think of. Draco pads over to the bar, tucked away in the corner of the kitchen. There, he pours himself a knuckle’s length of the amber liquid, knocking it back with a hiss. The whiskey burns as it goes down; burns just like his emotions, like his anger.

Draco’s lip curls in distaste as he hears his father’s voice: a distraction, Draco, that’s all.

Lucius Malfoy had never uttered such words in Draco’s presence, but Draco was well aware of his father’s distaste of you.

Reading over his home address once again, Draco is hit with a sense of helplessness. He doesn’t know where to go from or what to do. He reads over your home address, neatly written in the top left hand corner of the envelope.

Sighing, he runs a hand down his face, still uncertain what his next move is going to be. He runs through the options in his head once, and out loud after.

To no-one in particular, he argues:

“I could reply. I could write a letter back, apologising for the absence of replies with a brief sentence or two about meeting up after so much time has passed.”

Draco waves that option away; his tongue too tied up to even think about coherently writing a letter out now. He moves onto option two:

“I could show up. I could apparate to the address right now, knock on the door and ask to speak to them.”

He shakes his head; immediately ridding himself of the idea. For starters, what if you had moved, and he finds himself knocking on the door of an unknown family? However, what if you still live there, and you answer the door? What is Draco to say to you then after such a long time apart?

He imagines the situation; forces himself into shoes that he could possibly be wearing in the near future. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Not a word, not a whisper, not an apology.

So he ignores option two.

Draco knows its cowardice that drives him to the third option, but to go fifteen years without a reply to a letter declaring love… it is too long of a time to expect any form of forgiveness, and he supposes that is what he is most afraid of. Draco’s terrified of not being worthy enough for your forgiveness.

So he goes with option three:

Do nothing.

------

Draco does the only thing that makes sense.

He takes the letters to work.

Draco slides the letters into his satchel, latching the buckle afterwards and taking a deep breath. Already, Draco feels the twenty four envelopes burning a hole through the soft, worn leather of his bag.

Their presence continues to haunt him: placing his bag in his locker and grabbing his lab coat, walking towards the admit desk where Martha – the head nurse – smiles at him before handing him a cup of coffee.

The emergency room is swamped. It is full to capacity with even more waiting in triage. They work as hard and as fast as they can, but it takes time to cure burns from potions and injuries from spells gone wrong.

It gets to the point where Draco needs to take a step back. He has to take a step back and re-evaluate. His personal life is shot; the love he had found at sixteen a dead end until this last weekend. His professional life is all that he has going for him, but on days like this, when he isn’t feeling entirely himself for the shock from the weekend, Draco does find himself being short with patients.

He escapes to the break room; the familiar bitter scent of coffee already relaxing the tense muscles in his shoulders. He settles into a chair at the rickety table, head in his hands as he takes a deep breath.

Draco represses the urge to cry. He pushes it down; deep, deep down inside him where he can deal with it another day. At this moment, all he wants is a hug from his mother and the age old promise that everything is going to be okay. It’s her fault’ it is Narcissa’s fault that he is like this.

That he is a husk of a man.

He feels like a therapist’s wet dream. Blaming his mother, his parents as the source of his problems, but he cannot help imagining how different his life would be if those letters had been delivered to his hands.

He would be with you. He would have given it all up for you.

His lineage; his inheritance; his name; the pureblood mania that infected his parents.

He would give it all up for you.

Fifteen years later and he would still give up every aspect of his life, every part of him that makes him him.

Draco would drop it all in a heartbeat for you.

“What’s gotten into you?” A feminine voice questions. Draco turns in his seat to see his closest friend and confidant, Alexandria Delphi, leaning against the door with a smile on her face.

He cannot help the smile that grows on his face at her presence. He shrugs, hoping he appears nonchalant, “What do you mean?”

Alexandria pushes herself off the door, coming to sit next to Draco at the old rickety table that has been at home in the break room since before time itself. She raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow at his obvious aversion. She gestures to his entire being, “I mean this. You’ve been off all day – not as attentive to patients, not your usual flirtatious self with the nurses which I know they are missing very much. What’s gotten into you, Draco?”

Draco sighs, knowing very well he could never hide anything from her. Alexandria and Draco had known each other since their first year of training; an unlikely friendship forming between them, but a friendship nonetheless. Thirteen years later, they had been working in the emergency department of St Mungo’s the longest – second only to Martha, the Head Nurse.

“I was cleaning out the attic over the weekend. Getting rid of some of my parent’s things.”

Alexandria frowns, reaching for Draco’s hand over the table. “You should have called me. I would have come and helped you; you shouldn’t have had to that alone.”

“I know,” Draco starts, running a hand down his face, “I know you would have but I think I needed to do it alone.”

Alexandria nods, releasing his hand at last and bringing it to the coffee mug sitting in front of her. Draco smiles at her before standing, opening his locker and grabbing the letters that call to him from his bag.

Sitting back down, he slides the two piles of letters in Alexandria’s direction, all the while saying, “I found these in my mother’s trunk. It had a false bottom, and they were sitting there.”

Her deep brown eyes widen, “How scandalous! They’re addressed to you?”

Draco nods, “When I was at Hogwarts, there was a girl.”

“Isn’t there always?” Alexandria quips, rolling her eyes at the dramatics of her colleague.

“Anyway,” Draco comments pointedly, “I was in love, or at least, I was as much in love as you can be when you’re sixteen years old. I still am, I think.

“Anyway, my parents didn’t approve of her; they never would so when war started brewing and I went home, I never imagined I would get letters. I never got letters. Turns out, she had been sending me letters all along and my parents had kept them hidden until now.”

“Bastards,” Alexandria spits; furious at people long dead.

“What do you think I should do?” Draco asks earnestly, his eyes never leaving the pile of letters.

“Have you read them?” Alexandria asks; her eyes fixed on the two sets of letters placed between them on the rickety table.

He shakes his head, refusing to meet Alexandria’s eyes, “I think I’m too scared.”

Alexandria smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She sighs, “You aren’t going to know what to do until you read them. Reading the letters should give you the answer you are looking for.”

“When did you get so wise?”

“When you made me Attending,” She quips, yet there is still no heart behind it – none of her usual heat that tends to come out when Draco baits her slightly. She shakes her head, standing from her seat with her coffee in her hand, “I want to see you back out there soon. I don’t care whether you’re the head of the department.”

He raise an eyebrow at her in challenge; she simply smirks. He shakes his head at her antics, already rising from his seat, “I’m on my way.”

“Good, I have plenty of patients for you to see.”

Draco doesn’t reply, he watches her leave with a fond smile on his face.

Alexandria leaves the break room. She leaves as it is the only way that Draco will not see the sorrow and the longing reflected in her eyes. Alexandria doesn’t let him see the jealousy over the letters; the very emotion gnawing away at the ever growing pit in her stomach, only making it deeper as she replays the story of Draco’s first and only love.

She remembers when she used to look forward to coming into work; to help those in need and be a source of comfort for those she couldn’t help. Now, she struggles to make it through the door with the knowledge that she has been in love with the same man for years and nothing had happened.

That’s the thing about loving someone who doesn’t love you back – it turns you into a ghost of your former self.

------

Draco finds himself reaching for the first letter in the pile on a Friday night in the middle of April. If he had to be honest with himself, it had taken him a whole month to work up the nerve to read them. Draco had come home after the conversation with Alexandria and dropped the letters on the side table where they have taunted him ever since.

He knows he isn’t in the right frame of mind to be reading them; a bad shift with too many deaths combined with the two half full tumblers of whiskey consumed creates the equation of self-destruction. However, Draco reminds himself, he’s had fifteen years of internal self-destruction – what’s one more night when you tear yourself down so regularly despite the accolades attached to your name?

Draco hesitates, holding the first of the twenty four letters in his hand. He hesitates; unsure as to whether he is ready to read the handwriting of someone whose notes through class not only made him happy, but hopeful.

Releasing a shuddering breath, he tears open the seal and begins to read.

------

The letters are not long. They aren’t pages and pages of eloquent syntax over your feelings for the blonde haired, cocky teenager he once was. The closer he gets to the end of the pile, the less is written as if you had grown tired of such an act and not getting a reply.

Draco keeps his favourite close to him. It’s tucked away in his inner coat pocket, on the left hand side close to his heart.

The letter has been with him a month now. A month of one letter being read and reread too many times a day; to the point where Draco is reciting it in his sleep. It’s creased beyond recognition, but he still takes the risk every day to take it out and read it.

He misses you. He misses you. He misses you.

Now, Draco unfolds the paper. He unfolds the paper and reads the opening line: do you remember that night in the greenhouse? Writes your neat handwriting; the letters perfectly formed on the now browning parchment.

How could he forget? Draco closes his eyes, letting himself fall into the memory perfumed with compost and night blooming evening primrose.

*****

“Name two purposes of Valerian Root.”

“To help someone sleep as well as to ease anxiety.”

“Very good,” You laugh, moving quietly between the rows and rows of plants. You turn to him suddenly, “What is one danger of Black Henbane?”

Draco pauses, eyes already searching for papery flower with spidery black veins. He finds it nestled towards the back of the greenhouse, hidden away from sight and away from the wandering hands of children. Draco follows you closely; remaining near you as he says, “As a member of the nightshade family, the plant can be toxic if used in large quantities.”

The sight of your smile takes his breath away. You rush to him; toothy grin and loud laughter as you nod your head. “Madame Pomfrey was right,” You splutter, “You’re going to make an incredible Healer, Draco Malfoy.”

He doesn’t need to see the blush to know it’s there; he can feel the heat creeping its way up his neck to his cheeks. “I don’t think I’ll get there if I don’t have you.”

A satisfied smile replaces the happy grin that was on your face only moments ago. It was as if you were waiting for those words to fall from his lips; the reassurance within those words spreading over your worry like a balm over a wound.

How many more nights would they get like this? How many more nights would they have together?

Somewhat foolishly, Draco hopes he has forever. He hopes he has an eternity and a day with you, but he can feel the changes in the air, and he knows it isn’t good. Draco can see the tension at home; more and more people arriving, each just as secretive as the last, and Draco suddenly knows he only has a short amount of time before he’s inducted into the same fanatic group as his parents.

He’s on limited days with you so he’ll take the nights.

He’ll take all the nights.

-------

The shoebox had remained untouched under his bed for years now. Draco had shoved it there in a fit of anger and despair and he hadn’t looked since.

Reaching for it now, Draco represses the growing anger directed at his parents. He ignores the growing resentment surrounding the fact that they hid your letters for years and never thought to whisper a word of it – not even on their death beds.

The shoebox has aged; not unlike himself, he thinks as he wipes the dust from the top. The thick layer drawing a sneeze from him before he can open the box.

It doesn’t matter how many years it has laid unwanted under his bed; it doesn’t matter how long it has remained there, untouched and not thought of – Draco, to this day, can still recount for every little thing in there.

Notes that have now turned brown with age; old photos where youthful faces glance up at him; a chocolate bar wrapper from Honeyduke’s.

They each line the bottom of the shoebox. Draco’s memories of you out there for him to finally confront, to see. He sinks down onto his childhood bed; almost blinded by the force of the wave of nostalgia washing over him, threatening to drown him with the strength of his memories.

The memories hadn’t plagued him for some time though you played on his mind constantly – even more so since the letters.

They’re silly memories, but memories, nonetheless. Ones that he adores; ones that he cherishes.

It was the letters that triggered this. The letters that have brought the ghosts back from where they had been hidden, haunting him quietly until now.

Draco runs a hand through the trinkets in the box. He smiles at them, thinking of Hogsmeade and how he had surprised you with a bar of your favourite chocolate. The grin on your face worth all the jibes from Crabbe and Goyle when he got back to the Slytherin common room that evening.

Draco falls back onto his childhood bed with a huff.

He has a decision to make, and he doesn’t know where to begin. He has a decision to make, and he doesn’t have the guidance he so desperately needs.

Draco wants to see you; he needs to see you, but what if you don’t want to see him?

----

“I heard you handed in your notice,” Draco states as a way of breaking the ice.

Her notice of leave had landed in his hands not even three hours ago. He had spent the time since in a panic; rushing about the hospital to find Alexandria and to question her, to find out why she would leave after so long.

Why she would leave him.

Alexandria nods, “I have. I leave in two weeks.”

“Why?” Draco all but demands, “You love this place.”

“You’re right,” Alexandria sighs, “I do.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

“Because I can’t do this anymore, Draco. I can’t sit here and listen to you talk about those letters and sigh dreamily, or date someone else. I can’t do it,” Her voice breaks, “So I won’t. I want a fresh start, so I’m going to get one.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t.”

“If I had known…”

“What? You’d have loved me?” Alexandria laughs mirthlessly, “Love me, Draco! Love me.”

“I can’t,” He whispers; the words the death knell to any scrap of friendship remaining.

Tears fall down her face, “And that’s why I have to go.”

She presses a kiss to his cheek; lingering for longer than what was probably good for her. When she pulls away, she can see the wetness of her tears on Draco’s cheek. “I hope you find her, Draco. You deserve a love story.”

-----

The cottage is small, but it is perfect. Ivy covered walls with a neat front garden; every inch showing the love and attention being paid to it. From the red roses that makes Draco think of his beloved mother to the intense scent of lavender that reminds Draco of the perfume you wore through Hogwarts. Looking up at the cottage, Draco realises that he had never seen a house look so much like a home.

He pauses at the gate; eyes focused on the bricks of the cottage and nowhere else. He doesn’t let the hope grow; he doesn’t let himself dream of what could happen. He’s thankful he has made it this far.

That he’s made it back to you.

The black gate creaks when Draco pushes it open. He winces at the noise, praying it doesn’t give him away and that you answer the door unexpectedly.

He needs this.

He needs the time.

It’s been fifteen years and since he found your letters months ago, he thought he would be ready by the time he found you.

Now Draco is thinking, perhaps he isn’t ready.

Will he ever be ready? He asks himself. Will he ever be ready to confront the very person he has been in love with since he was sixteen years old?

Draco doesn’t know; he doesn’t think he’ll ever know until he steps through the gate.

Draco’s hands shake as he rushes down the well-worn footpath to your dark brown front door. His hands continue to shake as he raises a single fist to knock on the door, three times.

He’s about to turn away; he’s about to walk away and never enter your life again. He will go away and never think of you again; of what could have been.

But then the lock clicks, and the handle moves.

“Hello?” A sweet voice calls out; your voice calls out.

“(Y/N)…” He breathes, and suddenly his nerves are gone and so is his worry. Suddenly, Draco is back at Hogwarts, the feel of your hand in his as he presses you into walls and steals kisses behind statues. He’s back to being sixteen years old and feeling the unrelenting agony of teenage love for the first time along with the merciless fear to do with the rising tensions.

“Draco,” You whisper, bringing a hand up to your mouth. Shock reflects in your eyes; your eyes that show no signs of aging other than the lines that are now forming in the corners.

Draco can’t help himself; he runs his eyes over your body, taking in the changes that becoming an adult has brought. It means nothing; he would love you regardless, but he cannot seem to help himself from drinking it all in.

From the realisation that he in fact stood in front of you.

You are there, and he is here with you.

“How have you been?” He asks; more out of politeness than anything else.

You shift awkwardly, “I’ve been good, Draco. How have you been?”

Draco nods, “I’ve been good too. I know you’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

You laugh, tucking yourself slightly behind the door, “That did cross my mind.”

He smiles; a large grin that he hasn’t felt on his face in a long, long time. Less than five minutes with you, and you’re already bringing out a side of him that Draco had long thought was extinct. He reaches into his coat, grabbing some of the letters that he keeps there. He holds them out to you, “I’ve only just found them.”

Audibly gasping, you instinctively reach for the letters. Your fingers brush Draco’s and he swears his heart skips a beat at the small touch. “I sent these years ago.”

Draco closes his eyes, “I know, and I cannot apologise enough to you for how long it has taken. I thought a reply in person would be better.”

Tears line your eyes as your fingers brush the worn paper; the crease marks more than evident from where Draco has folded and refolded the letter to read. “I always wondered what had happened…” You trail off, lifting your gaze from the letters to meet his eyes.

“My parents,” He whispers; voice pained. He takes a moment to collect himself, but you put a hand up to stop from saying anything else.

“I understand. You don’t need to explain more, Draco.”

“Thank you,” He replies, smiling softly. Then he launches into his tale, “I was cleaning out their belongings; cleaning in general really when I found a false bottom in my mother’s trunk. When I took it out, I found your letters… and I read them and reread them. I practically memorised them. I don’t think there are enough words in the English language to convey just how sorry I am.”

“Draco…”

“No, let me say this… please,” He whispers, adding on the last word for politeness. You fall silent, your eyes begging him not to say out loud what you know he is going to confess.

“Until the last star fades and we succumb to darkness, I shall love you. I have always loved you; from being a scared teenager to being a just as scared adult. My feelings haven’t changed. I’ve thought of nothing but you for fifteen years,” He pauses, drawing in a shuddering breath, “I love you.”

Silence falls over you both. Draco’s heart pounds in his chest as he watches the emotions flicker over your face in a pace he didn’t think was humanly possible. Acceptance, happiness, relief and then finally, sadness.

He furrows his brows; surely this would be a happy event no? Draco has tracked you down after a fifteen year absence. He has found his one true love at last, and now he stands before you wondering the cause of such sadness on your face and in your eyes.

“Draco…” You trail off, holding up your left hand, “I’m married.”

******

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @theweasleysredhair @harrypotter289 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @figlia--della--luna @idont-knowrn @lunalovegxxd @big-galaxy-chaos @black-lake-confessions @annasofiaearlobe @imboredandneedalife @levylovegood @mytreec @haphazardhufflepuff @teheharrypotter @chaoticgirl04 @accio-rogers @starlightweasley @dreaming-about-fanfictions @lestersglitterglue @msmimimerton @obx-beach @izzytheninja @slytherinprincess03 @bbeauttyybbx @acciotwinz @kashishwrites @slytherinsunrise @kylosleftbuttcheek @remmyswritings @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @ria-rests-here @superbturtlemakerathlete @inglourious-imagines @ithilwen-lionheart @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown @ilovejjmaybank @phuvioqhile @moatsnow @storyisnotover

Draco Malfoy taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @obxmxybxnk @obx-beach @sycathorn-slush @dracomalfoyswifey @kashishwrites @justmesadgirl @detroitobsessed @reaganwonders @aspiringsloth20 @just-a-belgian-girl @lahoete @minty-malfoy @fallinallinmendes @ravenclawbitch426 @ochrythum @beiahadid @gryffindors-weasley @dracosathenaeum

#Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagines

205 notes · View notes

tragedy-for-sale · 4 years ago

Note

Have you answered any questions about the clones’ sleeping positions? Bc Fives is definitely a sprawler and Dogma’s a hugger but he will not admit it.

I've definitely been thinking long and hard about this- okay I was gonna keep going but this was getting long.

﹄『❝Sleeping Positions❞』﹃

Rex sleeps on his side and is hugging something, it's either a pillow or a Cody. He'll have his face buried in something warm and cozy. He has to be buried in blankets and pillows. If it feels like a marshmallow, Rex is out cold. He never sprawls out and actually moves into more of a fetal position while cuddling something. He's also kind of like an igauana, give him something to hold in his sleep like a sword or an Anakin and he'll hold it with concerning strength.

Cody sleeps propped up, like if you're in a hospital, it's a bunch of pillows that support him. He sleeps on his back with his arm wrapped around Rex. If Rex isn't there Cody's a starfish. He'll wake up, blankets and pillows on the floor and him just sprawled out taking up the entire bed. Sometimes he's hanging off the bed and drooling. Yes, he's a drooler.

Fox sleeps on his side, back to the room so he's facing the wall. He has one arm under the pillow and the other holding the blanket to cover his face. That is if he's sleeping in a bed. He'll sleep anywhere except a bed. Brothers have found him passed out in a closet, practice rooms, literally everywhere else. But he doesn't sleep a whole lot and when he does, it's because he's being forced to or he's passed out. So when he goes to sleep on his own, there's always a panic because 'WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO-'

Bly is definitely passed out in Aayla's arms or he's not sleeping.... That's all. He has to sleep with Aayla because if he doesn't he'll get stressed and be sad, he'll literally be miserable while sleeping, so he's gotten in the habit of not sleeping unless she'll be there. Which is actually really bad, especially on campaigns.

Keeli spends so much time checking on his men that he forgets to sleep in the night. He'll be singing to them, rocking a brother back to sleep after a nightmare or being a pillow, and he'll just forget he needs sleep too. The boys know there's no convincing him, so they just trap him in a clone pile so he has to sleep. He'll then stretch out so some how he's holding all his brothers so he knows they haven't slipped away in the night.

Doom is a baby when he sleeps. He'll be out like a light, and luckily, he's not entirely picky. He likes to have a big heavy blanket over him. He sleeps on his back, arms above his head and a pillow resting over his face.

Kix sleeps at the med-bay desk. If his head isn't resting on the desk, it's in the palm of his hand while he leans back in his chair. He's very easily woken up and he won't go back to sleep if you do wake him up. So brothers just throw a blanket over him and have caf ready in the morning.

Wolffe is very tense whole he sleeps. He's usually in a fetal position all parts of him under the blanket. He hates to sleep because he's scared that he'll have a nightmare and wake up screaming. Eventually, he gets a plush rabbit and sleeping isn't so scary anymore, he even starts to stretch out more.

Wrecker sits sleeping up, usually back against the wall with all his brothers in his arms. He doesn't lay down because he's afraid he'll crush one of them. When he's taking a nap and none of his brothers are there, he sleeps on his stomach with a giant body pillow. He doesn't use the blankets though.

Crosshair hugs a pillow when he sleeps for his head is resting against Wrecker's arm. He can also sleep sitting up but he'll start to slump down till he's laying flat. He doesn't sleep a whole lot, he wakes up at unreasonable hours and he'll just sit there in the dark listening to his brother's assorted snores.

Hunter will sleep on his stomach, a pillow resting under his chest with another pillow for his head with he's arms under it to raise his head. Hunter is the only one of the group who doesn't snore, because everytime he does, he wakes up. He'll sleep for hours upon hours of he could, he loves to sleep, but sadly, his brothers will blow something up if he's not there to supervise.

Tech doesn't sleep until he passes out. He'll work until he can no longer keep his eyes open. If he's not in Wrecker's arms, he sleeps like a board. Flat on his back, arms to his side, feet together. He's the one who snores the loudest.

Echo is right there literally on top of all of them. He used to be a sprawler like Fives but now he's kind of just there. He sleeps because he knows to, not because he wants to. He'll find a position that is most comfortable then just drift to sleep. He isn't picky.

﹄『❝Sleeping Positions❞』﹃

|| Tag List ||

@ct7567329 @a-lil-perspective @mageofcole @advcntura @crying-at-ikea @stuckyjacos @crahsystor @obiorbenkenobi @satan-incarnate-666 @kalm421 @passionofthesith @mackstrut @jonathananubian @kamino-mermaid

355 notes · View notes

twentiethcenturymoviesandtv · 4 years ago

Text

Star Trek: Genre and Themes

Considering the fact that Star Trek was pitched as “Wagon Train in space”, it seems almost redundant to discuss the genre of such a show.

Since the beginning, Gene Roddenberry’s show’s genre seemed pretty obvious: science fiction-western. And really, it’s hard to argue with that. Kirk’s style has been outright referred to as ‘cowboy diplomacy’ by future installations of Star Trek. The adventures and ‘exploration’ of the new territory is very reminiscent of the western television shows of the time, and the setting of outer space would seem to place it pretty firmly in the ‘science fiction’ genre as well.

But, like always, there’s a little more to it than that.

As I’ve mentioned many times before, very few pieces of media can be categorized as only one genre. Even the most seemingly obvious and one-dimensional examples have elements of other genres. No show is designed to fit into only one genre, with any individual television program carrying many characteristics of one specific genre, while sharing many elements of other genres.

And while it may be easy to look at the setting of a film or television show and use that to determine a genre (space = sci-fi, medieval = fantasy), that doesn’t mean it’s terribly accurate.

Such is the case of Star Trek.

As a matter of fact, despite Roddenberry’s initial pitch to the studios, Star Trek actually doesn’t have a whole lot in common with the westerns of the day (Besides Spectre of the Gun). Kirk’s ‘cowboy’ nature actually doesn’t come into play nearly as much as one would think. Captain Kirk’s decision making isn’t quite the same as a traditional western lead, weighing more factors than just ‘frontier justice’. For another, the setup is totally different. The Enterprise is a military exploration ship, full of people on a mission, not just of exploration, but of diplomacy. Kirk’s job is not only to defeat ‘bad guys’, but to find the best solutions for problems of other cultures.

So while Kirk’s ‘good old fisticuffs’ solutions may seem a bit more of the ‘Wild Wild West’ than later incarnations of the show would resort to, it doesn’t make it a western. In fact, Star Trek has far more in common with future versions of science fiction shows than one might think.

Star Trek, at its core, is a show about an optimistic utopia, a future where humanity has learned to straighten itself out. A future where there is no oppression, no prejudice, no poverty, but of a unified, educated, compassionate Earth, reaching out into the galaxy to explore, extending a hand of friendship. This is Kirk’s job: being the hand of friendship. Set in a distant future, a twenty-third century where Earth’s problems are solved, as such, there is no need to examine humanity’s flaws as they are.

At least, not directly.

As is done with many examples of the soft science fiction (or speculative fiction) genre, Star Trek uses its setting and set-up to examine the problems with our own society through the disguise of another. Routinely, Kirk and the gang land on a planet or meet a people that represent a part of humanity that is less than pleasant to look at. Episodes like Let That Be Your Last Battlefield take a scathing look at racism, a huge social issue in the late 1960s. Other episodes examined topics like the Vietnam war, labor, and, a science-fiction favorite, the dangers of technology.

Add this onto the ‘traveling through the stars’ plotline of Star Trek, and you’ve got yourself a pretty good argument for a solid science fiction show, with or without the western elements to it. With that said, that doesn’t mean there’s more to the show than just sci-fi.

Star Trek’s storylines typically fell into the category of action or adventure. There were gunfights (or phaserfights), fistfights, chases, daring escapes, and space-battles galore. There was typically at least one hair-raising action scene per episode (with a few exceptions, such as The Trouble with Tribbles or The Way to Eden). Even the episodes without ‘action’ per say as it would later be solidified in shows like The A-Team or Magnum P.I. turned out a decent ‘adventure’ story, with emphasis on the journey and adventure as a whole, rather than action-packed sequences that kept audiences on the edge of their seat.

Star Trek was all about the adventure, as even the opening credits will make clear. The voyage of the Enterprise is aimed at discovery and exploration. The setup of the show is, at its core, the greatest adventure: exploring the unknown. Every episode is aimed at the exploration of the human experience and curiosity. By definition, an adventure is a risky undertaking, and the exploration of deep space and discovering new civilizations and planets is nothing if not risky.

It’s pretty easy to say that Star Trek fits pretty neatly into the ‘sci-fi/adventure’ category, although it does have shades of other genres. Episodes like Shore Leave, The Trouble with Tribbles, I Mudd, and A Piece of the Action have a distinct comedic slant to them, whereas episodes like Catspaw, The Enemy Within, Wolf in the Fold, and The Man Trap have a rather sinister, horror/thriller edge. Other episodes have dabbled into courtroom dramas, tragedies, westerns, and even war, giving all three seasons a wide range of types of stories that they tell. However, one genre that Star Trek has always been the absolute master of, even more than science-fiction or adventure, has been the genre of drama.

At the heart of every Star Trek episode, no matter how cerebral or action-packed, is an overarching sense of drama. Not drama in the ‘soap opera’ sense, mind you, but drama as in real character interaction and growth. The drama in Star Trek is in McCoy and Spock’s argument in Bread and Circuses, in the death of a recently married lieutenant in Balance of Terror, in the death of Kirk’s brother in Operation: Annihilate. Star Trek’s dramatic moments are rooted in character, from Spock’s admittance and sharing of Vulcan rituals in Amok Time and his muted desperation at thinking that he’s killed his Captain in a burst of uncontrollable rage to the doomed romance between Kirk and Edith Keeler in City On the Edge of Forever. The drama in Star Trek is in people, whether human or not.

The examples of Star Trek’s use of characters, be they regular or not, is truly groundbreaking. From Spock’s mind-meld with the Horta in Devil in the Dark to Kirk’s terrifying identity crisis in The Enemy Within, Star Trek’s strength is in the people, in the personal dynamics between the characters, most notably between the main trio of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. Even the other, more minor characters on the show received levels of characterization unheard of for the time: Sulu’s love of botany and retro weaponry, Uhura’s musical ability, Scotty’s intelligence and romantic troubles, and Chekov’s obsession with spouting totally innaccurate Russian history, possibly just to annoy the rest of the crew. Even Nurse Chapel’s flashes of snark helped her stand apart from the many nameless crew members who came and went throughout the series.

In short, Star Trek’s characters were people. Nowhere was this more evident than in Mr. Spock.

By the 1960s, most ‘alien’ characters on television were either jokes or monsters, cast as gimmicks in My Favorite Martian or as evil conquerors in shows like The Twilight Zone or The Invaders. But in Star Trek, the ‘alien’ was as ‘human’ as the rest of us, if you’ll pardon the phrase.

A Mr. Spock type character was unheard of in 1966. A half-human, half-alien, treated as a respected equal of the rest of the crew, was a completely foreign concept at the time. Spock’s development as a character, and indeed, his criticism of the human condition proved to be one of Star Trek’s best elements of its use of character and drama. Spock as a character was constantly at war with himself, torn between the outwardly emotionless Vulcan half, and his emotional, illogical human half. Spock’s internal struggle proved to be one of the most gripping elements of the show, and as his interactions with Kirk and McCoy proved, although Spock did not like to be compared to humans, in many ways, he was more ‘human’ than we are. His subtle flashes of emotion and occasional bursts of illogical behavior proved repeatedly that there was a lot more to Spock than what he tried to let on. He, along with the other members of the cast, had layers.

And Star Trek was very good at exploring those layers.

No science-fiction show would introduce characters with layers to explore if they hadn’t had every intention of making the show hang on the relationships of the characters. And the relationships of characters is the absolute core of drama.

In the end, Star Trek is a science-fiction adventure drama, a speculative look at the nature of humanity and people in general. Star Trek is a look at a better future, an improved society turned to exploration. It’s about the new frontier, about the best and worst of humanity, about friendship, adventure, and morality, full of good and memorable stories and characters. It paved the way for even more complex shows to follow, and remains one of the most thought-provoking and earnest shows of all time.

Even now, audiences remember those characters, those stories, those little moments with these people that they grew to know. They hold up, remaining just as genuine and heartfelt as they were in 1966.

And they owe that, in no small part, to those wonderful characters.

But that’s a discussion for next time.

Thank you guys so much for reading! Don’t forget that my ask box is always open for conversation, suggestions, or questions. Stay tuned for the next article, where we’ll be looking at the crew of the Enterprise and their roles in Star Trek. I hope to see you there!

28 notes · View notes

extraordinarilyextreme · 4 years ago

Text

finally watched Guardian (2018) and i need to talk

Warning: contains MASSIVE SPOILERS, probably too much music/song analysis, my poor translations from Chinese to English, and some references to the original novel (disclaimer: my novel-reading was mostly jumping around because i have a problem where I’m not fluent enough to read the original Chinese novel and I don’t usually like English translations)

1. the freakin opening theme: We Won’t Be Falling by Chen Xueran... (also I see you Tina Guo on the cello thank you queen)

the amount of chills i get every time an episode starts,,, fantastic! marvelous! the lyrics are very VERY apt to the story of Guardian, esp this drama adaptation

(“We are the one/We will be holding on/For the promise we held for life/For the people we love are leaving” ... “And the story will keep on going”)

1.1. the promise? may i direct you to novel chapter 75?

Shen Wei: “Sometimes I think if one day you can remember everything, then I will be able to say to you: look, I did it, I did all that I had promised you; not one bit did I miss, not one word did I go back on.”

they promise to keep the peace, to protect both Haixing and Dixing; and in the show, it’s a promise they keep with their lives

2. Zhu Yilong plays THREE characters and is able to differentiate them perfectly with particular microexpressions

-Ye Zun (literally, “Respect the Night”; “Lord/Master of the Night” would be a better title) sets off my fight-or-flight instincts even though i think his name tries a little too hard to be edgy; the way he sneers, the smiles that don’t reach his eyes, also that infamous tongue flick when Zhao Yunlan sees through the act... i think it’s both great and sad that Yunlan could differentiate the twins because, why, Shen Wei would never be so openly flirtatious (and wear a deep-cut shirt like that lol)... the delivery of “Xiao Yunlan” disturbed me so much—wonderful, stellar acting

-Black Cloaked Envoy: does his best to bend the rules where he can for the Dixingren because he’s just so fundamentally GOOD; he’s empathetic despite how stern and strict he seems to be, and how much he claims to enforce the clearly-cut laws... he’s an absolute babie ten thousand years ago (Yunlan, doesn’t it hurt your conscience to flirt with such a babie?)

-Shen Wei: in the novel, his name (both surname and first name) are given to him by Kun Lun’s incarnations—there’s a lot of power in naming something, in naming someone; he’s good-natured and gentle, always polite... he pushes up the glasses [that he doesn’t need] a lot, perhaps because he’s used to pushing up his mask as the Envoy

2.1. i find it very striking that Shen Wei dies without his glasses; he doesn’t die as the Envoy, he doesn’t die as the Professor; he dies as a person, as the person who loves Yunlan the most and has loved Yunlan for ten thousand years

2.2. the other notable moments we see Shen Wei without his glasses are where he apologizes to Yunlan [and Yunlan apologizes at the same time because they’re pining idiots] for not noticing the camera in his office, where he sets aside all his pride as Envoy and Professor and kneels in the rain for the man he loves (lwj kneeling after visiting the Burial Mounds, yea?), and of course after he slices up an orange [cuz food = love] only to find Yunlan asleep and drapes his jacket over the silly silly man... anyway, Yunlan is indeed the only person Shen Wei is comfortable enough to reveal everything to, all defenses and masks (literal and figurative) lowered

2.3. that last instance (ep 26) is when Shen Wei pulls out his necklace and reminisces as he gazes fondly at Yunlan; the song that plays during this is 《乱心曲》or “Chaotic Heart Song”... may I direct you to novel chapter 65 where Yunlan finds all the paintings and pictures his Xiao Wei has kept from the centuries?

“邓林之阴初见昆仑君，惊鸿一瞥，乱我心曲。” which translates to “In the shade of the woods I first saw Kunlun-jun; a glimpse of his grace wrought chaos in my heart’s song”

2.4. but also let’s not forget the [in]famous cut wrist scene of ep 23, where our dear Shen Wei, without glasses, as a person who loves Yunlan—not the aloof Envoy or the well-spoken Professor—is reduced to two words: “Worth it.” Yunlan is worth everything to him; this goes without question, without a second thought. Kun Lun (Yunlan) told him not to regret whatever decisions he’ll make, and Ye Zun scolds and laughs at his brother for giving up his life for a human/Haixingren, but of course Shen Wei doesn’t regret dying to protect Yunlan, dying to protect Haixing. (also, peep the behind-the-scenes where Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s hand for a moment as he blocks the attack from Ye Zun)

2.5. on this same train of thought, Da Qing brings up a line from ten thousand years ago where Shen Wei claimed he would never kill unless it was for the world... and, well, he kills for Yunlan doesn’t he?

3. Bai Yu plays our charismatic Chief Zhao Yunlan/Kun Lun and hoo boy does he do an excellent job; the found family vibes of the SIU are spectacular and the way he flirts with tries to recruit Professor Shen is endearing and touching

3.1. there’s another piece from the OST called 《一点真心》, translated to “A Little Sincerity” though I would use “A Bit of a Sincere Heart” because it too references the novel

Kun Lun’s confession to Xiao Wei: “我富有天下名山大川，想起来也没什么稀奇的，不过就是一堆烂石头野河水，浑身上下，大概也就只有这几分真心能上秤卖上两斤，你要？拿去。” [I’m rich with famed mountains and endless rivers under heaven, but none of it feels rare when I think about it. It’s all just a pile of broken stones and uncultivated streams. From head to toe, there is probably only this bit of my sincere heart that is worth anything weighed on a scale. You want it? Take it.]

Zhao Yunlan’s confession to Shen Wei: “我别的东西也有，只是你可能大多都看不上，只有这一点真心……你要是不接着，那就算了吧。” [I have other things, only you probably would not think much of them. There’s only this bit of my sincere heart... If you don’t want to catch it, then forget it.)

And Shen Wei’s reply to Yunlan’s confession is of course “我接住了。” [I’ve caught it.]

3.2. the novel is a happy ending because Xiao Guo’s important role actually plays a part (i literally don’t understand why the show couldn’t do that after they built up so many expectations about his good character/merit/inability to be corrupted but ANYWAY)... Shen Wei, Xiao Wei, the little Ghost King has a soul and wow isn’t that just beautiful after everything he did to become worthy/deserving of Kun Lun’s attention and love

4. the Zhang Ruonnan and Wang Yike (death-touch Dixingren) case in ep 3 is an obvious parallel to the “brotherly” relationship of WeiLan... Shen Wei’s line of “Many tragedies were destined from the start” references the show of course but also the paradoxical precognition that marks the drama version of WeiLan; in both of their “first meetings”, one of them was always already in love with the other—Yunlan, as Kun Lun, knew he would have to return to his own time at some point and thus doom this impressionable young Envoy to ten thousand years of waiting and Shen Wei (honestly in a Code Geass Lelouch kinda style) knew he would have to die to defeat his brother

4.1. the importance of “touch” in this case alludes to novel WeiLan, where of course Shen Wei watched over all of Kun Lun’s incarnations but wasn’t allowed to get close to him because hungry ghosts would inevitably devour the essence of the people around them; similarly Yike was terrified of touching Ruonnan all this time... but Ruonnan accepted her (just like how novel Kun Lun lets this intriguing little Ghost King trail after him)

4.2. speaking of Shen Wei’s grand plans and the idea of “knowing”, Yunlan reminds him that “You are not a weapon/blade, you are a person.” and wow once again, only Yunlan can pull the humanity from Shen Wei, who has carefully crafted his disguise and personality to fit what people expect of the Envoy and the Professor... but alas, Shen Wei fulfills his promise by in fact making himself a weapon; he poisons himself to become a bomb that will take down his brother

4.3. as many qualms and complaints as I have with Chinese censorship, much in the case of WangXian, i think i prefer the drama version of WeiLan to the novel version; the plot of the Guardian novel is a lot better in my opinion (with references to mythology and legends, as opposed to, what, aliens?? mutants from X-Men? quirks in My Hero Academia??) and yea the relationship of Kun Lun with Xiao Wei is built up a lot better and makes more sense than the time-travel of Yunlan masquerading as Kun Lun with Shen Wei... but there’s an unadulterated, unconditional kind of love that runs through the drama, whereas the novel had some darker (though probably more realistic) vibes of near-possessiveness and ulterior motives... Kun Lun/Yunlan in the novel can be, well, cruel, which is not necessarily out of character; it’s just seems a little wrong to me that you could threaten your partner in a relationship (if you keep things from me again, i really will turn against you + had i known xyz would happen, i really should have killed you)... plus i’m always a sucker for love without an “i love you”, a love that’s conveyed entirely through actions and gazes

5. Yunlan asks Zhou Weiwei (the mirror case) where her jacket was bought because he “wants to get one for [his] girlfriend” and lo and behold, what similarly-styled and colored coat does our Shen Wei show up in a few episodes later? (also the fact that Shen Wei dies wearing this jade-ish-blue-ish coat)

6. boyfriend jacket during the Moutain-River Awl case... boyfriend jacket!!!! Shen Wei claims he doesn’t need it and well he still wears it anyway because Yunlan’s love is unstoppable

6.1. the way Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s elbow before running down the hill

6.2. Shen Wei being so freaking fine-tuned to Yunlan’s discomfort/pain as always that he drinks wine for him (and passes out immediately—heroics/bde of yllz! wwx and the alcohol tolerance of our dear lwj)

6.2.1. when Minister Gao brings up Yunlan’s dad and the Chief’s hands tighten... and of course nothing can go by Shen Wei, so he changes the topic of the conversation; also the way he leans forward as if to shield Yunlan

6.2.2. Yunlan is similarly Aware of his boyfriend’s boundaries; cue him politely excusing themselves from the dinner with Vice-Minister Guo when Shen Wei (of all people!) fumbles with his chopsticks

6.2.3. Yunlan also blocks Shen Wei from Minister Gao’s sight (subconsciously?) after that wedding showdown... even though he’s unhappy that Shen Wei has kept the identity of the Envoy from him, he trusts the other man enough to recognize there must be a reason; thus he doesn’t want other people to pry into the possibility that Shen Wei is a Dixingren

6.3. also, also that Shen Wei lets Yunlan have his way and use him as a pillow in the car once again (he also adjusts the actual pillow beneath Yunlan’s head to make it more comfortable)

6.3.1 the other Shen-Wei-is-Yunlan’s-pillow scene is when the professor picks up the poor hurting Chief off the road and in the taxi ride home... apparently this was an improvised scene from Bai Yu who just wanted to mess with Long-ge and our great Zhu Yilong just stayed in character and ran with it

6.3.2. the other notable improvised scene is the cute “Black Cloaked gege~ please be careful~ there’s someone is waiting for you at home~” [sorry that i don’t remember the exact line] but once again our great leading actors just stay perfectly in character

6.4. after Shen Wei wakes up from a night of being drunk (lol) Yunlan has left a note for him “I’ve gone back first, stay in touch. -Zhao” and what’s that on the corner of the note? why it’s a winky face

7. when Yunlan grabs the fake Zhang Danni’s wrist to confirm his suspicions, Shen Wei narrows his eyes... (lol is our Black Cloaked gege jealous)

8. when Yunlan claims he can swallow the painkillers dry, Shen Wei clenches his jaw in his anger at this idiot of a man for not taking better care of himself... you’ll find that a lot of Shen Wei’s anger is directed toward his husband being a self-sacrificial fool

8.1. after Yunlan uses the Hallows again and his nose begins to bleed, Zhu Yilong in all his acting glory has Shen Wei furious to the point that his lips tremble (cue Shen Wei angrily shoving a handkerchief into his husband’s face) [i really want to know if they ever broke character during this scene due to their proximity lol]

8.1.1. Shen Wei all but invades Yunlan’s personal space (he really does stand there between Yunlan’s legs guys) and he’s so careful even though he’s angry as he tries to stop the nosebleed; he’s aware the force might tip Yunlan backwards, so he immediately rests his hands on Yunlan’s thighs/knees to steady him

9. Yunlan has claimed that he doesn’t do things for the sake of gaining anything in return and yet every time he’s wanted things from dear Shen Wei... “take off your mask and smile for me”, “join the SID”... the sexual tension is Unreal during these scenes lol, you can see Shen Wei swallow visibly in anticipation + babie Shen Wei of ten thousand years prior all but chokes on his words when he promises to do ANYTHING Kun Lun wants him to do (honey where is your mind GOING???)

9.1. Bai Yu does have a bruise on his knee after the scene where Yunlan asks Shen Wei for something... dunno if it’s the actor’s bruise or the character’s bruise, but if it’s the character’s bruise—how did he get it? what exactly did WeiLan do that evening lol

9.2. also peep the fact that Yunlan almost always has a lollipop in his mouth when talking to Shen Wei... oral fixation much? (also the whole sequence where he tries to explain how to eat a lollipop to babie Shen Wei, wow the amount of homoerotic tension)

9.3. babie Shen Wei’s ears and cheeks are SO RED when Yunlan snatches the mask off his face

10. Yunlan’s hairstyle changes after Shen Wei joins the SIU (joins his family), much like how a bride would change her hairstyle after marriage in China ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (random note but CQL WangXian does this too when lwj puts his hair down/styled over the front of his shoulders when wwx wakes up 16 years later)

11. the first time we see Shen Wei spit up blood, there’s an echo of “Xiao Wei” faintly and Shen Wei mutters to himself “Xiao Lan” before looking up and saying louder “Zhao Yunlan” (nicknames/pet names/names only your family or lover can call you... this trope is good)

11.1. i also think a lot about how in the novel Kun Lun muses before he dies that it’s a shame he won’t see this Little Beauty [Xiao Wei] grow up to be a Great Beauty

12. Shen Wei’s funny little eyebrow raise when Yunlan accidentally reveals he broke into the professor’s apartment once ( “riiiiiiiiight i definitely believe you”)

12.1. though the ep 23 scene is angsty, the fact Yunlan says “It’s the middle of the night, were you hungry?” seems to imply their relationship is a lot closer than just neighbors... they’re probably used to sharing an apartment/room at this point :)

13. when Yunlan is hurt, Zhu Hong looks to him but he only has eyes for Shen Wei

13.1. after Yunlan is blinded, Zhu Hong is the one cradling him but he calls for Shen Wei first and reaches for his hand; Shen Wei of course responds immediately “it’s me”

13.1.1. both times after Yunlan gets his eyesight back, the first thing he sees is the person who loves him the most

14. Shen Wei warms up the congee in the morning with his magic after he watches over Yunlan when his stomach pain acts up (domestic use of magic? yes please)

15. the bomb defusing scene in the hospital (video game -> reality case) really is framed like a wedding proposal... also the way that Shen Wei smirks lol he’s so proud of his husband

16. after his Envoy identity is revealed, Shen Wei all but abuses his Black Cloaked Envoy voice to stop his stupid husband from doing stupid things that will hurt himself and every time Yunlan is properly sh00k by it

16.1. we really go from Chief Zhao remarking in the Mountain-River Awl case that he’s used to ordering people around, not receiving orders to married bickering with Shen Wei to then agreeing to everything Shen Wei tells him to do

17. the fact that “Shen Wei, ah, Shen Wei... You are such a good person, how could I bear to let you go?” is an actual line from the censored DRAMA astounds me, nevermind that Shen Wei just made breakfast for his man and Yunlan is basically pouting up at him from the bed

17.1. the way Yunlan’s dad warns him to stay away from Shen Wei and Yunlan responds with something like “he’s sincerely good to me, I want to be with him”... “be with him”???? [inhales deeply] yea this is definitely a “brotherly relationship”

18. Yunlan’s “WOW” after the Envoy kills the monsters in the cave of the Mountain-River Awl case is hilarious and i dont understand how such a noise is physically possible,,, it sounds like a growl?????

18.1. Zhu Yilong was asked to mimic it during an interview (which he did not do and only half-heartedly gave a “wow”) and then Bai Yu did it again

19. also i inevitably got attached to the side ship of Lao Chu and Xiao Guo... they have so much skinship for a censored “brotherly relationship” lmao

the amount of face-touching and hand-holding that they do is unreal... they’re more canon than WeiLan in the drama adaptation methinks

20. 《时间飞行》or “Flying Across Time” sounds like Yunlan’s reply to Shen Wei’s《只是太在意》or “Just Cared Too Much”

20.1. the lyrics of both these songs really cements this idea that both of WeiLan believe the other to be too good... Kun Lun was a god in the novel, and Xiao Wei was just a soulless little Ghost King... and then we have the incorrigible Chief Zhao pining after the beautiful and kind Professor Shen... i just have a lot of feelings about them becoming better people for each other, that their love really does make each other stronger

21. my favorite two pieces from the OST are Shen Wei’s theme (arranged by Kun Luo) and Kun Lun’s theme (arranged by Chen Xueran)

head’s up: it’s been like four years since i last even glanced at music theory so a lot of this might just make no sense to an actual professional

-Shen Wei: written in 4/4 time, Ab Major, melody is primarily carried by piano + strings; the piano almost sticks exclusively to triplets whereas the strings are in steady whole, quarter, and eighth notes—which creates in interesting impressionistic effect, kind of like hazy smoke or the ripples across the surface of a lake; every single measure uses decrescendo, so the first triplet is always the loudest and the three that follow get progressively softer (mimicking an echo)... the piece ends on the seventh note of the scale, which is usually a pretty awkward place to end and yet it doesn’t feel wrong it all; the piece uses a ritardando in the last three measures, and we simply drift off with that last G... i think it’s a beautifully written piece that perfectly portrays such a complex character as Shen Wei, someone who loved with everything he had, and was just so overwhelmingly good... and then he simply disappears as if the dream has ended. it makes me think of how he guarded over Kun Lun/Zhao Yunlan for thousands of years in the novel, never ever ever daring to meet him... and yet the other man always felt like he was waiting for someone

-Kun Lun: written in 3/4 time, a minor, there’s no real complex shift in the melody although there’s brief modulation into E major (dominant/fifth note); it’s a fairly somber piece, especially when the strings join in... it’s a steady waltz, and it finishes with the scale (second to last major is g, last major is a), like a circle coming back around [like their love story perhaps?]... there’s a finality to it, a completeness, a wholeness, which makes sense in the drama-verse because the moment Yunlan takes up the name of Kun Lun is when his love story with Shen Wei all fits together. the piece feels a little lonely in its minor key and all, a little sad, indeed as if you were standing at the top of a mountain surrounded by clouds and mist... the constant meter also reminds me of like the steady drip of water, the perpetual and inevitable passage of the days and time

-i don’t really understand how because the keys of the two pieces don’t fit together easily, but somehow it doesn’t feel wrong to play the pieces back to back; the melodies of both seem to call upon each other despite the differences in key and time signature, so it actually feels right. a circle without a beginning or an ending, wouldn’t you want your love to be so infinite?

-when yunlan finds shen wei in their bubble outside of time, when shen wei is about to leave him, shen wei is wearing the outfit of their first meeting. and the lyrics go “Across time, I am in the same place”... surely, they will find each other again.

#guardian #cdrama ramblings #zhenhun #镇魂 guardian

65 notes · View notes

randbwrite · 4 years ago

Text

La Comtesse Chronicles Chapter 3 Part 1

Words: 1157

TW: Violence, Death CW: Vampires

A gasp of a breath, and her eyes fluttered open. How long it had been, she had no idea. A warm hand in hers, one she followed up to the sleeping face of Vincent, resident angel. A small laugh from her and then a voice she knew well.

“Comtesse?” Blue eyes and hair looked over her and she smiled softly.

“Yes, Arthur, I’m alive…. barely. Had he done this to my head I wouldn’t be here now.” The thought of her would-be-assassin came back in a flood. There was only one organization that would have had such a well-trained person come after her. It was then that she felt the pull. She paused, as if someone had tugged on her sleeve to get her attention. There was another she was responsible for now. “Fuck….”

“What is it? Comtesse? Are you? What do you need?”

“I need to heal. We have another that is destined to haunt these halls, sired on the battlefield, I can feel it.”

“Oh, another brother or sister? I can’t wait to get to know them.” The angel awoke, rubbing his eyes, smiling sunshine.

The picture of him in the halls of the assassin’s league came into focus now. A name, she had his name, as she did when she sired anyone: Rapscallion. “No… I’m sure this one won’t be welcome…. He’s the one who did this to me.”

Arthur and Vincent glanced at one another, one wearing a scowl, the other a look of regret.

Closing her eyes, she focused. Just how gravely injured was she? Heart was beating now, it healed. Ah, the powers of being a pure blood, something she was grateful for at the moment. The slit across her throat, closed, even the scabs gone. It seemed that she was no worse for wear, though she felt awful. She needed to feed; blood would help restore the rest.

“Arthur, get Sebastian and some rouge please. I have much to discuss with him.”

Footsteps away, the pads treading quickly.

“Comtesse?” Vincent’s sweet voice inquired.

“Hmmm?” She squeezed his hand tenderly.

“The one who did this to you, he’s going to come live here?”

“That depends. He might try to kill me again, in which case, no. Either way, I need to find him.”

……

Several hours later the castle was abuzz with the news that Comtesse had awoken and was doing much better. More than that though, was the revelation that they were to have someone new come to the castle, though exactly who was quite the sore spot.

“Absolutely not! No one that has tried to kill Comtesse can be allowed to live in these halls!” Theo roared as soon as Vincent had told him the news.

“Theo…. That’s not for us to decide… but I agree. I don’t want anyone to hurt her.” Vincent sighed.

“How can she even be thinking of such a thing?” Leonardo chimed in, having half a mind to go talk some sense into her.

The door to the dining room opened, with Arthur holding onto her arm; Comtesse took a seat at the table. “Sounds like none of you approve of what must be done. I never said that I would bring him here if he was still of the mind to kill me. If he so much as puts one finger on me in aggression, I swear to you all that there will be nothing left of him to bury. Does that ease your minds?”

“I rather like the idea of you just leaving the bloke and staying here till I know you’re fully healed.” Arthur interjected.

“Arthur, I’m fine. Not feeling completely my best, but that’s probably due to how long I’ve been asleep. Not normal for me to be bedridden for nearly a week. Give me a day more and another decanter of rouge or two and I’ll be just fine. I understand your feelings on the matter, but it is my duty as a pure blood and a sire to at least go find him. The rest will be up to him. Besides, I need to go pay the assassins a visit.” The last sentence was said with a rumble of rage in her throat. Her eyes shone for a moment and the room grew quiet. “I leave tomorrow to get him. I promise I’ll be back, but I make no promises as per if I will be bringing him with me.”

…….

The next morning, Comtesse left the mansion, carrying nothing, not that she needed to. She was far more dangerous if she was relying on her powers. Boots clicked against the hard floor and quickened as she made her way through the foyer.

“We shall all eagerly await your return, Comtesse.” Sebastian stated in a farewell before he opened the door for her.

“Thank you. Please have a room prepared for a potential guest.” She was met with a momentary scowl, but she paid it no mind. Off she went. Uncasing her wings, she knew she was in for a flight to get to where she needed to go. The citadel where the assassins’ all lived was not an easy place to get to, not that many would willingly go there.

Up and up she went, her wings flapping quickly till she made it into the clouds. The cool air flowing over her wings, the breeze carding through her hair. It was exhilarating for her, though her destination wasn’t. The one good thing about traveling like this was that no one was likely to see her, since aircraft hadn’t been invented yet. Ah, that was something she was going to miss once planes took to the skies. Back to the present though, the citadel soon stretched before her.

She landed just in front of the large black door that served as the entrance. The air was tense, the atmosphere eerie. A smirk took hold of her lips before she put her wings away. Rage, pure and unadulterated, began to emanate from her. One deep breath and she started to float upwards. “Move.” She commanded and the doors burst forth off their hinges and crashed into the halls, causing a cacophony of sound to echo through the fortress.

“I am here to take that which is mine. Stand in my way and you will meet your maker.” The growl emanated unnatural power and ferociousness the likes of which most of the assassins hadn’t seen. They scattered, running every which way to avoid doom incarnate that was now floating through their halls.

She searched the halls, the walls, the ceilings, everywhere she could think of, but to no avail. Every time she got near anyone, they ran for their lives, some a bit louder than others. She found no one, till she happened upon a long-haired man, apparently cleaning. “Pardon me, but do you know where I might be able to find a young man by the name of Rapscallion?”

#tw: violence #tw:death #cw: vampires #whump #whumpfic #fanfiction #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo

7 notes · View notes

fizzingwizard · 4 years ago

Text

Okay I really enjoyed this week’s episode! It set up a bunch of cool stuff that I can’t wait to see, and it was a fun watch. We got a number of desperately needed partner/Digimon moments, and we got some much needed Taiyama friendship action going on - as well as some other stuff I super appreciated (but still want more of). I’m so stoked for how the team is coming together.

We didn’t get a few things I normally would have expected, and I’m never quite sure if I feel that way because it’s truly missing or if it’s just that “this ain’t your momma’s Digimon Adventure” yadda yadda. I don’t think i’ll ever get used to Taichi being so serious in comparison to his 99 incarnation (but, I get the feeling he is more in line with original V-Tamer Taichi, so there’s that).

So not a slam dunk for me, but all in all, it was good!

I just took as many Taiyama pics as I could so why don’t we just knock one out of the way before we begin xD

They look so coooool all beat up and windswept

More below!

Sooo last week, the aptly named Eyesmon evolved into the equally well-named Orochimon. I always think “hydra!” (thank you Hercules) so initially my thought was that the plan would be for each of the kids to take out one head. Then I remembered, we only have six kids so far... and then I got a better look at it:

(this cap’s from much later but it shows the whole body so)

there was clearly one head that was significantly different from the others and appeared the most connected to the body! So the strategy was clearly lop off the central head because that’s what’s controlling the rest! A la VenomVamdemon only slightly less gross hahaha

Meanwhile back in real Tokyo, as Koushirou explains, the electronic pulse generated from this freaky Digimon’s battle is affecting anything digital, or even just anything that uses electricity.

Kaaaboom!

Our kids try to fight but it’s pretty obvious they’re out of their league. I did totally love MetalGreymon and Zudomon leading the charge together sort of. Because I continue to be a sucker for Taichi/Jou growth parallels! Anyway they both get knocked out and de-evolve so Taichi calls for them to regroup.

Aww piggyback

The way Jou carries Gomamon like an infant though ;___;

Sora and Garudamon lead the retreat, scooping everyone up and carrying them out of danger and omg look at Gomamon he looks so cozy gaaah

but not before Taichi realizes someone’s not with them... it’s Yamato of course... he’s just standing there... staring...

Why? Because “my little brother’s in danger in the real world!” That is adorable. Stupid but adorable.

Also stupid yet adorable... Taichi immediately runs to go get him. I have no idea WHAT his plan was but I am eternally grateful that he is such a dork because it gives adorable dorkiness like this:

and this

and ultimately this

pffffffftb

weregarurumon tries his best he really does

(no but really this is now my PREFERRED method of transportation for these two, one each tucked under WereGarurumon’s armpit and just dangling like that while he runs like crazy protecting his precious cargo... also look at Taichi holding onto Agumon’s arm the whole time eeeeeiiiii I love those detals it almost distracts from WereGarurumon’s expression of shock when they inevitably get shot and fall to their doom x’D)

yeah so everyone gets shot and falls to their separate dooms, and this was 100% just an excuse to put Taichi and Yamato alone together. The shonen action anime equivalent of “and there was only one bed!”

Jou continues to cradle Gomamon like his very own son

The kids wonder what to do and Jou has a cool moment here and there (like legit cool, where he acts all responsible)

... er, I did say “moment” :P

Meanwhile Koushirou is all cryptic and scary. That is his main job after all. You may think it’s to be the team brain, but it’s actually to make sure we viewers know just how terrible things really are so we can lose all hope of survival even though we already know they’re going to win x’D

I mean that is pretty scary tbh

Taichi breathes a sigh of relief. I wasn’t exactly surprised that he’s not running out to fight - even 99 Taichi usually understood when it was time for a strategic retreat. At the same time, maybe it’s just me, but I totally got the sense that he was scared in this scene. Not out of his head with fear, but definitely worried, I mean none of them seemed to have any effect on this monster earlier. It’s interesting to feel his tension.

“Yamato why did you just stand there in the street while we were trying to make our getaway?”

“Because... my little brother’s right in the center of danger back home... I can’t let this monster continue its rampage or he could get hurt...”

“Yeah man that’s all fine but I mean why did you just stand there in the street like an idiot I’m pretty sure you won’t be much use to your little bro if you’re steamrollered?!?!”

He looks so surprised that all this has been because of brotherly love. I can’t remember, is this the first Taichi’s hearing of Takeru? I know he wasn’t there when Yamato told Sora & co but maybe it was mentioned way back when they jogressed... Either way I wonder why he doesn’t say “I get it, I have a sister back home too that I’m worried about too.” Seems like a moment for bonding ya know?

That is the one thing I felt was missing here... we went through all the trouble of getting Taichi and Yamato alone together, and all that happens is Yamato confides something in Taichi that he’s already shared with the others. I mean, Taichi also shows his willingness to help Yamato and work together, and I think that is the important thing we’re supposed to take away, as Yamato’s all touched by it... but uh, for the most part I felt like not much happened in this scene, at least not that we haven’t already seen before.

Takeru’s phone, he’s waiting for a call from “oniichan” T-T my precious boy

And we actually get to see him!! His face!! His adorableness!! Ahhh Takeru I miss youuu!

Family photo! Parents’ faces not shown in the usual tradition of “divorcees in kids’ shows”! Also the tell-tale brothers are holding hands, but parents are standing as far apart as possible...

Meanwhile Taichi’s mom and sis are trying in vain to evacuate while their car flips out. Hikari sees an image of Orochimon broadcast on a nearby building and flinches away. No one else seems to notice it so maybe this is just her special ability like in 99 Adventure?

Traffic’s at a complete standstill and everyone’s electronics are going bonkers so Mama Yagami has them get out and head for the trains. Unfortunately this is what everyone else decides to do as well, and Hikari winds up like Simba in the wildebeest stampede, only there’s no one to jump in and save her so she tragically dies. :P

taichi: I see your ‘brother in danger’ and raise you one ‘dead sister.’

yamato: screw you

“You did great Mimi!!” A JOUMI MOMENT WE GOT A JOUMI MOMENT sort of okay but beggars can’t be choosers HE PRAISES HER (FOR STUFF HE WASNT EVEN THERE TO WITNESS THO LOL) AWWWW ITS SO CUTE

Then he remembers to praise his partner!!! All by himself! (Finally!) Gomamon’s so happy! It was so unexpected and he’s ecstastic!

Piyomon instantly gets jealous!!!! It’s so adorable!!! Sora is quick to reassure her that Garudamon is indispensable.

“And I’m the prettiest, right Mimi?”

“When you’re Lillymon, anyway.”

“D:”

lol the return of Mimi only appreciates Lillymon’s sense of fashion tickles me. an essential Mimi characteristic

Tentomon shyly and awkwardly tries to wring a compliment out of Koushirou too. It works, Koushirou is quick to tell Tentomon that he’s super cool as AtlurKabuterimon. I will be honest though, I wanted him to fail, just because we need to let these kids actually develop!! Their arcs are over so quickly! It took 99 Koushirou 52 episodes to be able to say “I love you” (I think it was “thank you” or something in the original Japanese but the point is he was being super honest and vulnerable at long long last). Imagine what an important moment this would have been if Tentomon’s “and me?” had been met with “huh? uh uh... I was thinking about how to defeat Orochimon... what are we talking about?”

That is something I continue to miss, not just with Koushirou but with everyone... their personal weaknesses just don’t really feel like weaknesses the way they did in 99 Adventure. And I’m just wondering why? For me, that was a driving force of what made 99 Adventure really great. It wasn’t afternoon special “stories with a moral” type drivel, because what they learned in the moment still had to build upon, and they would fail again, and learn again, and become their best selves slowly. And they’d risk a lot in the meantime. It was powerful to ten-year-old me. We are at ep 17 now and by this point in 99 Adventure, we’d had tons of scenes like that. I keep thinking “okay it’s early, we’ve got time!” but at this point it’s not so early anymore! But comparing with 99 Adventure is also a useless effort and I continue to choose to enjoy this show as its own separate thing and believe there’s still lots to come.

Taichi expresses his willingness to fight alongside Yamato even though as Yamato warn’s “it’s gonna be totes yabai”

Taichi: “I eat yabai for breakfast”

Yamato: “smiles”

jokes aside... the way Yamato smiles at Taichi is so cute! It’s hesitant, but once it’s there it doesn’t waver. He’s clearly starting to get used to relying on Taichi for backup, at least, and it’s no question that he feels friendship for him and the others, he’s just reluctant to admit it. The question is how all this will hold up when the situation’s reversed.

I LOVE this particular cap, Idk, there’s something about the sheer determination on Taichi’s face and the trust in Yamato’s as he looks back at him while they ride Garurumon directly into Orochimon’s line of fire... Fizz I think you’re reading too much into the animation. DON’T MESS WITH MY DREAMS OK I KNOW THESE KIDS BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF

obligatory Best Boy cap

Suddenly, in the real world, the fight is broadcast on the screens!! I was expecting this to happen every time a screen flickered, but once it did, I was like wow!! they’re going to let the whole world in on the secret of the digital world already!? and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that

BUT... that’s not what happened, maybe. Because so far the only ones who for sure are seeing these images of Digimon and the Chosen Children are Hikari and Takeru. No one else reacted to Orochimon and Mama Yagami doesn’t go “hey, that’s my son!” We could argue no one noticed because they were busy evacuating like maniacs, and Mama Yagami was busy looking for Hikari on the ground and not looking up at the screens. But it feels impossible that someone wouldn’t notice! So my current theory is only Hikari and Takeru can actually see these images... at least for now.

The fight rages. Meanwhile, the others soon catch up, as the only reason they were separated in the first place was to let Taichi and Yamato have a Moment. One thing I really liked though was Sora more or less leading the charge to join Taichi and Yamato. I want more of “second in command Sora” now and forever. (My personal headcanon since I was a kid was always that if something happened to Taichi, Sora, not Yamato, would take over. Tri did not go that way though :P)

Burning eyes of courage!!

They beat Orochimon by taking off his central head, as predicted. Then they all go and take a nap in the street. It is full of d’awww.

Gabumon and Agumon mimicking their partners’ body language always get’s a mega d’awwwww

Taichi: “That was yabai!”

Yamato: “I warned you it would be.”

Taichi: “Yeah, but we made it somehow!”

Yamato: “... smiles”

Uggggghhhh I can’tttttt with these two

Like Koushrou, Yamato is totally whipped by Taichi’s smile... oh dear... my heart is pulled in two directions... Taiyama... Taishirou... “my number one my number two...” (anyone else remember that dumb song there used to be tons of love triangle amvs on youtube set to it...)

I mean just look. look at Yamato looking at Taichi. he can’t make himself look anywhere else. ToT

Sora and Piyomon also win Adorable Award of the Day.

Honestly everyone gets it... I apologize for not having any cute Tentomon resting on Koushirou scenes capped! It’s because they drew Tentomon’s head freakishly big and I just couldn’t do it bahahaha but they were cute too

And that’s the end of... oh oh wait, did you think the battle was over? YOU NOOB. xD

every veteran Digi fan was not at all surprised to see this countdown appear and what looks like yet another bad guy evolution next week. Also next week...

... looks like Takeru’s finally going to join us!! Yaaaay! Very dramatically too it seems!

We got a glimpse of Hikari in a similar moment BUT... I’m not convinced Hikari will truly be joining us. She was separated from her mom and is clearly going to have a Digimon interaction of some sort like Takeru, but I think this is “eighth child” build up, one because the current ending theme is completely Takeru centric, and two because it just makes sense to me that Takeru would be Crisis One and Hikari will be Crisis Two. Idk of course it’s just a hunch.

Fizz before you said Hikari was killed in the stampede I WAS KIDDING

kidding about children dying??? OMG Y’ALL

maybe though Hikari’s swept away by those people, gets her Digivice, then is promptly captured by... idk evil Digimon, or shady government officials? More likely, she gets her digivice and helps but keeps it a secret and plans to show her brother when they reunite... we’ll see!

This ep I give 8/10!!

Ending with one more cool Taichi cap from next week’s trailer!

#digimon adventure:#digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure reboot #digi spoilers #fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon

28 notes · View notes

timeforelfnonsense · 4 years ago

Text

Just a Taste (Updated)

Dafni x Astarion

Rating: M

Ao3

I’ve been reworking some of the first fics I wrote for these two now that I have a better idea of their relationship. I’ve updated them on Ao3 but there was some interest in me reposting them here as well!

Sunshine & Starlight: My on going bg3 series

Astarion passed along the far edge of the camp. A groan escaped his chest as he slumped down against the base of a tree. His whole body ached right to the bone. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the throbbing pain behind his eyes to disappear. He knew he needed to feed as soon as possible. He had waited far too long to make up for his little indiscretion with the boar earlier. The whispers of vampire among his traveling companions had, at last, died down. Unfortunately for him, his caution had left him weak and vulnerable. He clutched his head in his hands and took in a deep breath. His body tensed in an instant. The soft forest breeze carried the irresistible scent of prey. His mouth watered and the familiar, white-hot sting of thirst clawed at his throat.

He could see them all tucked into their bedrolls, spread across the little clearing. Sleeping. Helpless. His gut twisted with guilt at the thought but he was desperate and so very tired. Hunting would require far more energy than he had left and the food that slept peacefully around him was far more likely to quench the caustic burn he felt inside.

He would have to be mindful in the selection of his quarry. Lae’zel was the first to be struck from the list. She had a bitter, bordering on metallic scent that he found less than appetizing. And more importantly, he was certain she would slay him without a second thought should things go awry. Shadowhart was out next. Though her bouquet was much more appealing, she had a suspicious nature and seemed likely to be a light sleeper. Wyll had always seemed an alluring prospect - Strong, fast, and righteous. Despite the appeal, he would also be a dangerous choice, being a monster hunter by trade. Gale would due, he supposed, but as the wizard tossed in his sleep the delicate shimmer of a magical barrier caught his eye. That left him with one, final option.

Dafni slept in a heap of pelts beneath the cover of an old oak tree a few paces away from the others. Wildflowers bloomed in the soil around her as if the earth was reacting to her very presence. His gluttonous gaze lingered on the pretty cleric. He watched her chest rise and fall slow and even. He’d never known her to indulge in sleep, preferring to take her rest by way of trance. She must have been truly exhausted. With a silent step forward, Astarion took in another deep breath. She was floral, like lilac and primrose with just a touch of citrus. His pupils dilated as every fiber of his being shouted at him - Desperate for just a taste. It was a risk to be sure, feeding on a woman of divine persuasion, but of the options available to him she seemed the most delectable and least deadly.

“How cliche,” He thought, “a creature of the night- Driven by sanguine desire to drink from the lovely maiden asleep in her bed of flowers.” He dipped to his knees and with a delicate hand brushed her hair from her neck. He steeled himself, preparing to strike. Leaning in close just as her eyes shot open. “...Shit”

It was the cool tickle of breath on the back of her neck and the feeling of a light hand on her waist that pulled her away from her dreams. When she first saw him standing over her, ruby-red eyes wide, white hair tousled and untamed, she had assumed something must have happened during his watch. However, the guilt and shame that twisted across his handsome face quickly did away with such assumptions.

“What are you doing!” She hissed.

“No, no- It’s not what it looks like I swear!” His words were rushed as if they could not leave his mouth fast enough.

Dafi sat up in her bedroll, her eyes fixed on Astarion’s pleading expression, his hands outstretched in surrender. He reminded her of a wild animal backed into a corner facing down what was to be their demise. His bravado was all but gone and in the place of the cocky rouge she had come to know was a frightened young man. His eyes fixed themselves on the holy symbol that hung from a silver chain around her neck. At that moment the pieces fell together: the boar, his unique appearance, his eagerness to keep watch at night. There, in the dim glow of the fire, she saw him for what he was...

Vampire.

“Were you trying to kill me?”

“No! I wasn’t going to hurt you!” He promised, “I just needed - well…”

“You needed blood.” Dafni tried to keep her tone firm and fearless but her words shook none the less.

“It’s not what you think!” He pleaded, “I’m not some monster. I feed on animals! Boars, deer, kobolds - whatever I can get. I’m just too slow right now. Too weak. If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better. Please.”

The last word was dripping in melancholy. His head hung low and his shoulders sagged. He had proven himself to be proud, even bordering on snobbish - never asking for help and turning his nose up when it was offered. His suffering must be great if he had been willing to admit his weakness and need.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered. Against her better judgment, she reached out to him, placing a hand on his pale cheek.

“At best, I was sure you’d say no. More likely you’d ram a stake through my ribs. I thought I could keep it to myself but tonight I felt so awful…” Astarion slumped into his hands unable to meet her eyes, “And… I wanted you to trust me. No. I needed you to trust me. And you can trust me.”

His logic was far more rational than her own. She was a cleric, sworn to the preservation of life. She should have set him alight with divine magic the moment she realized what he was. But, when she looked at Astarion it wasn’t a monster that looked back at her. She saw her friend. The man who called her Daffodil with testing endearment. Who always watched her back in a fight. Who’d come ever so close to kissing her not that long ago. Vampire, he might be but Astarion was no monster. Her heart ached to think of the fate he had been doomed to. He was an elf, never to return to Avandor. Was it not her very reason for existing to care for all of Corellon’s children? Why should Astarion, whom she had come to care for, be any different than the rest of their kin?

“I do.” She smiled, her thumb stroking his cheek, “I Trust you, Astarion. If you say it wasn’t your intention to harm me then that is the truth.”

How long has it been since he had felt a hand so gentle with such kind intention? She held his face so tenderly he thought he might melt. He had spurned her kindness on countless occasions. Thinking it had been a sign of weakness. Now, on the receiving end of her light and he felt a fool for having ever encouraged her to tamp down on her compassion. He leaned into her hand, savoring the warmth of her touch.

“Thank you.” He purred against her ear, “Do you think you could trust me just a little further? I only need a taste. I swear.”

He could hear the steady thump of her heart pick up. The sight of blood pumping through her veins was near irresistible. Her cheeks went flush and the intoxicating smell of her blood threatened to send him into a frenzy. It was no small effort to keep his vampiric instincts in check. He couldn’t remember wanting the blood of any creature half as badly as he found himself wanting her. But, no matter how badly he craved her he refused to betray the trust she’d given him- To prove himself the beast he swore not to be.

“Fine” She spoke in a little voice, “But not a drop more than you need.”

“Of course.” He promised, “Not one drop more.” Delicately, he guided her back so her head came to rest in his lap. He brought one hand to rest on the swell of her full hip and while the other cradled the base of her skull. His fingertips traced the hollow of her neck with almost loving reverence. “I will try to be as gentle as I can manage. It might hurt a bit- a sharp, cold feeling but the pain should fade fairly quickly if memory serves.”

She nodded her understanding, glancing up doe-eyed through her thick lashes. With that, he leaned in pressing a kiss over her pulse before sinking his teeth into the tender flesh. If her scent had been captivating her taste could only be described as transcendent, sweet, and perfect. Yet it was more than the flavor that had him completely delirious. It was the irresistible happiness that began to bloom in his chest as his heart fell in rhythm with her’s. She was a lush and colorful field, the feeling of the sun on his cheeks for the first time in 200 years - Spring incarnate and he was ravenous for more.

First, thou shalt not drink of the blood of thinking creatures.

Cazador’s words rang loudly in his ears as the red ambrosian liquid gushed into his mouth. All those years luring food for his old master and he’d been forbidden anything but putrid rats. He’d assumed it was meant to demoralize his spawn. To remind them where they stood in the pecking order. Now he saw the truth of it. With every swallow, he felt better than he could ever recall feeling.

His grasp grew tighter on her hip drawing her into himself no longer satisfied with gentleness and charm. What had happened to the restraint he’d shown just the other day when he’d nearly stopped himself from kissing at the river? Hunger began to blend with desire. He wanted her, in both blood and body. A shaky gasp slipped from her lovely lips. She twisted in his lap, lancing her hand through his hair, tugging him closer. An invitation to drink deeper and indulge the amorous feelings her resplendent curves and needy sounds were insisting.

“Astarion, I’m starting to feel faint.” Her voice was shaky but it was enough.

“Of course.” He gasped. He removed himself with haste, realizing his hold on her body. Relief washed over her and Dafni allowed herself to crumple against him. Above her, Astarion was still struggling to catch his breath. “I was just swept up in the moment. But it worked. I feel good. Strong. Happy!”

He nuzzled at her neck, his nose running along the soft edge of her jaw. A small squeak passed her lips at the feeling of his tongue running over the aching wound. Prompting a satisfied purr from Astarion. He was warmer to the touch now and a faint rosy hue colored his cheeks. His arm once again wrapped across her middle, pulling her into him as if he’d done it hundreds of times before. Astarion was hardly the picture tender regard but his arms were strong and his slow heartbeat thrummed in time with her own.

“I’m glad” She yawned, “You deserve to feel good.”

He stroked absentmindedly through her hair as she began to nod off. Her sweet words overwhelmed him. Gods he wanted to kiss every inch of the strange, wonderful woman curled up in his lap, to taste him in other ways. He hadn’t expected the act of feeding to be so… intimate. He couldn’t be sure if it was always this way or if the elation he felt was a side effect of her being an eladrin. Either way, the temptation to hold her all night was undeniably present. A disheartening pang of thirst still lingered in his throat however and she was far too weak for him to take anymore. His other desires would simply have to wait.

“I hate to disturb you, darling, but you’ll have to excuse me.”

“You are not excused.” Dafni huffed, snuggling closer in protest.

He tried to suppress the laugh but it was no use. She stuck out her lower lip in his favorite pout as he untangled himself from her. She reached up for him, wrapping her hand tightly around his wrist as he turned to leave.

“Come now.” He teased, “You’re invigorating, but I need something more filling.” He bent down placing a kiss on her forehead, “This is a gift you know. I won’t forget. Now, sleep, Daffodil. I’ll be back in the morning.”

#bg3 astarion #astarion #elf writes #sunshine & starlight #bg3 oc #dafni of gwynneth #repost #rewrite #eladrin elf #d&d oc

15 notes · View notes

homestuck-session-analysis · 5 years ago

Note

Can I have a session review for Page of Time(m), Prince of Mind(m), Heir of Hope(f), Seer of Heart(m), Mage of Light(f), Sylph of Void(f), Knight of Doom(f), Maid of Space(f), Rogue of Life(m), Witch of Rage(f), Thief of Void(f), and Bard of Breath(m)?

Wooh boy I was struggling with this one for no good reason. This ask has cemented my decision of never doing session analysis asks again, or at least limit it to like six players. That being said, this is a really cool session, Forgotten Ask Number Six! Again, sorry for the wait, but here it is!

Page of Time (male)

Personality: Pages are known to be very weak and impressionable. Like the knight, they are very insecure about their weaknesses, but instead of acting impressive, they display their weakness in hope that someone will help. As a Time player, he would be very hard on himself due to his perfectionism, or maybe he would feel like his life is too stagnant. They can only grow once they become confident in their actions.

Abilities: At 100% power, the Page of Time would be able to have extremely powerful time travel powers, and perhaps be able to give more time to their team by slowing down time or looping it like Groundhog Day. You know what? This take doesn’t belong here, but Tree from Happy Death Day is a Page of Time, inverted from a Thief of Space.

Session Contribution: Before I became a mod here, I sent an ask for a session with a Page of Time in it, and Nix told me that it was doomed to hell and back because of it, but I feel that as long as this boi is nurtured and loved, it will all work out. He will be one of the things holding you back, though.Prince of Mind (m)

Personality: Princes have fairly destructive personalities and resent others, mostly because they strongly resent themselves. Their self-hatred often lead to them harming others, either intentionally or unintentionally. As a Mind player, this Prince will be very perceptive, but feel responsible for other people’s problems. Because of this, he will avoid responsibility by avoiding difficult choices, which will ironically harm others. They are very much the kind of person who feels that life would be simpler if one person had control over everyone else. Princes need to learn how to accept accountability for their actions and accept themselves for who they truly are.

Abilities: The Prince of Mind would be able to destroy free will, being able to control other people’s choices.

Session Contribution: He will be either very useful to your session, or very dangerous. He is also extremely offensively focused.Heir of Hope (f)

Personality: Heirs tend to come off as very dumb, but a more accurate term would be happy-go-lucky. They are very much a representation of “ignorance is bliss,” for they tend to grow up very sheltered and secure, especially under by aspect. As a Hope player, this player would be so optimistic that she would have no concept of danger or distrust. That makes her one of the most powerful Heirs possible. Heirs tend to struggle with change, as they tend to get comfortable with where they are.

Abilities: If she doesn’t believe she can die, then she won’t die. Heirs manipulate the world based on their instinct, and as a Hope player, she is able to manipulate the world based on what she believes it is or should be.

Session Contribution: There is only one Heir that surpasses this one in survivability, and it is the Heir of Light. She is extremely powerful and will be one of your biggest assets.Seer of Heart (m) (personality copied for previous two asks)

Personality: Seers are exceedingly intelligent, bright, and calculating. They are the people who seem to be wise beyond their years, though they are often afflicted with hubris. As a Heart player, he would be able to intuitively understand other people, but he would find it difficult to use that knowledge himself.

Abilities: As a Seer of Heart, he would be able to see the soul, including their intentions, emotions, and identity. He can read people exceptionally well.

Session Contribution: He is going to be very helpful in preventing betrayal, as well as a very good support class to analyze the enemies!Mage of Light (f)

Personality: Mages tend to be very intelligent and bright, but also tend to be jaded and cynical. However, they gain their knowledge through experiences, often painful ones. As a Light player, she will learn things that will hurt her, or more likely, she will be put in painful situations, where she will learn something important. The Mage of Light is uncharacteristically unlucky for a Light player, but she must learn that she can learn from every negative experience she has.

Abilities: The Mage of Light will likely work very similarly to the Seer of Light, but instead of visions, she will very likely experience it in person.

Session Contribution: She will act as a guide to the team, though I doubt she would especially like it.Sylph of Void (f)

Personality: Sylphs are people who have a great sense of someone’s potential, and they tend to be driven to help in any way possible. This can make them seem to be incredibly nosy and a little annoying, but they have nothing but good intentions. As a Void player, she would be a living representation of “ignorance is bliss.” She solves problems through distraction and comfort, never really addressing the heart of the issue at hand. Is it healthy? Not really. Is it effective? Kinda. A Sylph’s biggest weakness is that they can’t seem to grasp when something is a lost cause.

Abilities: The Sylph of Void would be able to literally erase injuries by making them disappear, as well as induce amnesia.

Session Contribution: This is somehow a very good healing class, but she will also be a great teammate to the Heir.Knight of Doom (f) (copy/pasted from two asks)

Personality: Knights are a very insecure lot, typically using their aspect to attempt to create a facade that makes them seem more impressive. As a Doom player, she would try to appear intimidating and dangerous, like Death incarnate, but in reality, she is depressed and concerned for her friends. To develop as a person, she must learn to trust others and lower her walls.

Abilities: The Knight of Doom is the wielder of death itself. She would be very proficient with many different weapons, and ultimately, she may be able to temporarily raise the dead.

Session Contribution: Knights are called to sessions with a shortage of their aspect, so this session will likely have too few people dying, if that makes sense. The Knight’s job is to make the most of each death to make up for this lack.Maid of Space (f)

Personality: Maids often feel a great deal of responsibility that was pushed onto them without their consent. They feel that it is their job to ensure that everything is working properly, even when they are not recognized for their efforts. As a Space player, this Maid would be like a mother figure to her peers. Maids also tend to rely on others to feel valuable, so please make sure she knows she are perfect just the way she is.

Abilities: The Maid of Space would be able to teleport in order to ensure that things are in the places they should be.

Session Contribution: As a Space player, she is tasked with the breeding of the Genesis Frog. She would do great with this as a Maid, and she would also keep things in order in the session.Rogue of Life (m)

Personality: Rogues are very selfless people, as they share a worldview with Robin Hood. Their strong sense of justice and equality makes them easy to talk to, as they are very respectful. They are also very spunky and ready to do what’s right! As a Life player, he would be mostly concerned with issues such as world hunger and economic disparity. He likely saved a live at one point. Sometimes, the Rogue puts himself into danger to right a wrong, so make sure he understands that it’s okay that life isn’t always fair. If you’ve watched or read any iteration of Les Miserables, Valjean is a great example of a Rogue of Life.

Abilities: As an allocator of Life, he would be able to drain life from his enemies to his allies, which is very offensively focused.

Session Contribution: He’s like a healer and a fighter combined in one, but also he’s a very good person.Witch of Rage (f)

Personality: Witches tend to find themselves in societies or situations where they are dissatisfied, which makes them strong revolutionaries and visionaries. Their rebellious nature causes them to change their aspect in ways inconceivable to others. As a Rage player, she will take the negative emotions associated with frustration and anger and transform it into passion and a drive for righteousness. Witches are only satisfied when their vision is realized, which is not always possible.

Abilities: The Witch of Rage is a manipulator of anger and close-mindedness, so she would be able to drive others mad and paralyzed with frustration. Also, if she practices with her powers enough, I can also see her doing the reverse: Soothing her allies and expanding their possibilities, though that would be more of a Hope player thing to do.

Session Contribution: I can see this player being a great asset in a fight, though I would imagine she would be very emotional herself.Thief of Void (f)

Personality: I’m breaking my pattern of explaining what a class is then what it means with the aspect to just quickly state to never trust a Thief of Void. They tend to be sneaky, secretive, and manipulative, just to prove that they could be, or to assert dominance. My first OC was a Thief of Void, and let’s just say they can fuck shit up very quickly. They are power-hungry, and they always want to feel like they’re on top. Make sure you’re on their good side.

Abilities: She steals void, so she can reveal secrets and use that lack of knowledge to protect her own secrets. She can also conjure items by stealing the Void from them, but that would erase her little by little every time she does so.

Session Contribution: She’s a more dangerous and underhanded Vriska, but she will be extremely powerful.Bard of Breath (m) (copy/pasted from another ask)

Personality: Bards tend to be extremely fixated on their aspect to the point of worship, or at least obsession, and they are only happy when they are able to share the wonders of their aspect with others. They are so fixated with this positive image of their aspect, whatever that image is, that if someone were to break it, they would go crazy. This is why Bards are exceptional berserker fighters. As a Breath player, the Bard would have a warped sense of individuality, refusing to listen to others and only taking his own path. Their break would result when they discover that they couldn’t do everything alone.

Abilities: Bards invite destruction through their aspect, so in addition to their berserk fighting style, they can also likely break up the team, making them either stronger or weaker.

Session Contribution: The Bard is likely going to wreak havoc on your team, and for once I’m not talking about a killing spree. However, they are an absolute powerhouse.

Interpersonal Dynamics

The Seer of Heart and the Prince of Mind can easily work together to lock down the Thief if needed.

Keep the Thief of Void a lightyear away from the Page of Time. The Page has a long way to go in the first place, so it’s important to keep him away from any Thief, but this Thief in particular can really easily get into his head.

Also keep the Page away from the Bard, the Prince, the Witch, and the Sylph, because they can all mess up his personal growth in different ways, even when they have the best intentions.

The Sylph of Void and the Heir of Hope should work together as often as possible. The Heir’s abilities will be affected by her understanding of the world, and the less she knows about it, the more freedom she has to believe whatever she wants.

The Sylph and the Mage would hate each other soooo much.

The Mage can likely use her personal experiences to aid the Prince in his character arc. Suffering together to learn how to accept it.

The Rogue of Life and the Knight of Doom are inverses, but they aren’t hostile about it. In fact, I lowkey ship it. Full disclosure, I ship Valvert, and I’d like to believe these are their classpects. The Knight would be all broody and gloomy, and the Rogue would feel bad for her and try to be her friend, but then realize the Knight is actually a really good person because she would feel more comfortable around him and stops trying to be so angsty and if they both went through shit they would be super supportive of one another and comfort each other, but even if they didn’t they’d still like each other and ughhh.

Session Overview

Elephant in the Room: There’s two Void players, which under this blog’s rules state that one of them is destined to die before winning. Not to sound callous or anything, but if you had to choose, I’d say you’d prefer to keep the Sylph of Void.

Leader: There are really a lot of possibilities here for a good leader, but I would say the Mage of Light has the wisdom necessary to lead the team. The Maid, the Rogue, and the Seer would also be great candidates.

Offense: Bard, Thief, Witch, Rogue, Knight, and Prince. Half of your team is made up of extremely powerful offensive players, so I’d say you’re pretty set.

Planning: The Mage of Light is really going to be your lynchpin in the early game, at least until your Page matures into the OP lord he’s always meant to have been. The Seer is very good at predicting people, so that’s also really helpful, especially with all of these players who can fly off the handle at a moment’s notice.

Survival: The Knight of Doom is a great omen that not many people will die, but be careful, because again, many of these players have betrayal in their blood, and with no Blood player, that’s going to be hard to avoid.

Frog Breeding: The Maid of Space will be a very diligent breeder, and with the Knight of Doom, she won’t have to worry about the frogs dying…if she had to worry about that before…okay, the Knight of Doom isn’t the best breeding partner (don’t take that out of context), but you know who is? Ironically the Thief of Void, who can conjure up any frog.

Loyalty: Read above. No Blood player, and a lot of players with strong wills and strong emotions makes for a very hectic game.

Overall: This session is somehow both overpowered and one wrong move away from the brink of disaster. Have fun, and good luck!

]>>Maso

9 notes · View notes

examiningmormonism · 4 years ago

Text

Divine Perfection and Presence in Christian Theism and Mormonism

The Mormon doctrine of God claims, sometimes implicitly, sometimes explicitly, that Mormonism holds to a being of far greater reality than the normative view of God. When a Mormon says “God exists” its defenders argue, they don’t invent esoteric meanings for the word “exist” so as to show God as “wholly other.” God exists as you and I exist. The traditional view of God, Mormon apologists have claimed, is so esoteric that it’s not clear that such a being can coherently be spoken of as existing in the first place. Latter-day Saints are very fond of quoting an Egyptian anthropomorphist monk after the teaching (that God the Father has a physical body essentially like our own) was condemned: “they have taken my God away from me, and I have none to rasp, and I know not whom to adore or to address.”

C.S. Lewis in “Miracles” pointed out the pitfalls that our theological language can slip into when we subconsciously associate a set of visual images with a particular concept without recognizing the association or unpacking its implications- which would allow a person to see misconceptions driving questions or criticisms about a particular point of view. In defending what I am calling the normative view of God, I emphasize that this view of God is not the provincial view of Hellenic metaphysics and Abrahamic traditions under Hellenic influence, but constitutes the view of God prevalent among countless and widely varied cultures who preserve their memory of the God of Heaven. This is true for cultures as far flung as ancient India and ancient Africa- see an interesting survey of indigenous African views of God in “African Origins of Monotheism” by Gwinyai Muzorewa.

In launching this discussion, I will quote a small bit of an attempted satire of the normative view of God by a Mormon in a (quite old) email thread. This person, in trying to conceive of God as historically conceived, began with the following:

“Once upon a time there was this ethereal essence that roamed around somewhere in the cosmos...”

A couple problems immediately stick out to the person familiar with normative theism and its associated philosophical traditions.

-The terms are not well defined. What is “ethereal” and “essence” in this context? It appears that the terms are not chosen for their conceptual significations, but because they relate to an image in the author’s mind. It is this image which dominates his understanding of the normative view of God- the words are haphazardly chosen to capture the sense of this vague image. Lack of definition is a consistent recipe for philosophical disaster.

-If this being is “roaming around somewhere in the cosmos”, clearly we are not dealing with the normative view of God. This being exists in relation to a larger preexisting cosmic background. Because this being’s mode of existence is described in terms of that preexisting cosmos, the latter is more ultimate than the former and defines its existence.

—

What is the image driving the critic’s dismissal of the normative doctrine of God? Clearly, it is something like a thin gaseous substance, spread over a wide area of physical space. This is what most Mormons understand the doctrine of divine incorporeality to entail. And it must be admitted that many Christians have been theologically sloppy in talking about incorporeality as if the “incorporeal” is a distinctive property had by certain substances, one of which is God.

—

In fact, it is exactly the opposite. Words like “ethereal” convey a sense of a being who is thin, hard to see or get a sense of, spread throughout a wide space but only very subtly present in any particular point in space. In reality, the normative view of God is that God in His divine perfection is far *more* “thick” and “concrete” than anything which we experience. Next to the infinite God, the embodied life in which we exist is barely present. C.S. Lewis describes the heavenly places as a world of intense thickness and weight. A human creature in an earthly body could not so much as move a blade of grass in that world. God is, in Lewis’ words, “so truly body that He is no body at all.” When we think of something ethereal and gaseous, we are thinkin of a failure of presence. By contrast, the Christian rejection of anthropomorphism is rooted in its declaration of the totality of divine presence in and through all things.

Consider how Joseph Smith framed the notion of divine embodiment. For Smith, the Father and the Son each have a glorious, resurrected body. (contra consistent LDS misconceptions, Christians believe that Jesus has and will have forever a glorious body- before trying to use this teaching in an attempt to disprove classical theism, Mormons need to study the precise theology of the Incarnation articulated by the Fathers and Councils. Otherwise, they will have arguments which sound decisive to each other but deeply shallow to a person committed to the traditional doctrine.) Why does the Holy Spirit not have a glorious body? Smith’s answer is striking- so that the Spirit can dwell in us. This underscores a very serious problem, to my mind, in Mormon theology. Attempts to raise arguments against the Mormon doctrine of God by vaguely waving at texts identifying God as spirit are doomed to fail because the terms are not well defined. It is clear that, even prior to the Incarnation, God reveals Himself to the children of Israel in the form of a glorious man.

But the key texts- the ones which decide the issue- are texts like Jeremiah 23:24- “Do I not fill the Heavens and the Earth?” Or Psalm 139:7-10: “Where shall I go from your Spirit, and where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to Heaven, you are there. If I made my bed in the grave, behold, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me.” Or 1 Kings 8, where Solomon proclaims that “Heaven [the starry skies] and the Highest Heaven [the throne-room of God] cannot contain” the Lord. For Latter-day Saints, embodiment is an essential step on the path to exaltation unto divine glory. Even for those Mormons who take the non-traditional (and I applaud this, which I believe comes from a grace-inspired pious instinct) view that God is God from everlasting to everlasting, the Father’s glorified body is understood to be one of his divine perfections. But it is precisely this embodiment which constitutes a *limitation* for God. For Smith’s view of God, glorious embodiment restrains the modes according to which God can be present to all things and through all space. As such, at least during the time of the human family’s mortal probation, there must be a kind of “compromise” in the Godhead where the Holy Ghost refrains from taking a glorious body in order that he might dwell in the saints.

The classical view of God is that His all-suffusing presence is a divine perfection intrinsic to what it means for Him to be God. To say that He lacks “parts” is simply to say that all things true of Him come as a package. If God were made up of parts, then these parts would be prior to the whole- God would exist as a being within a larger cosmic order. This is, after all, the traditional Mormon view of God. And His lacking passion means that He is “impassive”, not that He is cold. He is active in all things, and no creature can impose its will on the Creator. The creature endowed with freedom who uses that freedom in rebellion finds, immediately and unavoidably, that his rebellion is assimilated and integrated into divine providence and will which is acting at all times through all things for the realization of God’s purpose to sum up all things in Jesus Christ the Incarnate Son. No act of God is “reactionary.” He is infinitely and gloriously serene, unfolding His wise purpose without stress or question of defeat. If you needed immediate heart surgery, you wouldn’t want a doctor who was so “moved” by your plight that he was too broken to operate. You would want a doctor who is genuinely and utterly committed to your healing but is in perfect control throughout the whole surgery. His fingers do not shake or slip. His mind never wavers. His next step is always clear in his mind. This clarity and purposefullness is the means by which his fingers nimbly stitch up a heart which would have stopped beating without his skill and calm.

Rather than being an “ethereal” gaseous presence distributed thinly throughout space, God is so intensely thick and concrete that everything else- from the most solid diamond to the thinnest layer of hydrogen gas- exists by His free constitution of the creation out of the superabundance of His own glory.

Biblically speaking, this perfection is signified in the symbolism of the “Rock.” God is described as the Rock of Ages. The word “glory” is very closely related to the word “heavy.” And this association exists in English parlance, too. A person of great authority and influence, who immediately communicates a sense of presence and sovereignty is said to be “weighty.” God in His glory is infinitely heavy. He is infinitely heavy because there is an infinite “amount” of God to put on the scale. He’s the Rock which is never moved but always moves. He’s the Rock which gives birth to a creation taken up into His glory- a creation described as a stone Temple with a “cornerstone.” We become glorified in Him- we are little stones and bricks in the temple of Christ according to 1 Peter and Ephesians.

2 notes · View notes