#does colson have a last name

[greenieart]

Colson

[mgkconfessions-too]

I truly don’t think she’s pregnant bc if she is pregnant woudint she be showing a lot more by now? Especially when we have seen her in tight clothing? Even early on in her other 3 pregnancies u could tell she was pregnant. I think it’s just Megan’s way to keep the fans attention

I don't think she's pregnant either. She'd be showing a lot more at this point. Didn't the rumors start in July with the music video? That would be 3 months and I think people usually show more. But again. The baggy, large clothing covering the shape of her body is just a way to fuel people to keep her name in their mouth. She hasn't done any films recently besides that robot one and I don't think that did well at all so she has to do something. But then again, no one knows anything, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors (though I have theories) and what the status of their relationship actually is. Getting the quick glance at colson last night he didn't seem too happy either and usually he does more than one outfit so his behavior has been abnormal at least from the last few years. But thats just me being sort of parasocial and trying to psycho analyze him when none of us know him (or her) as personally as we'd like to think. Sorry, I'll step off my soap box now 😅

[throne-for-queens]

if I am not mistaken, i BELIEVE Richard Colson was the name his father, RIP, gave him after a relative. There is a chance this relative might be his father's twin brother, no idea if this k.'s supposed uncle is alive. And APPARENTLY since they already had a Richard, I ASSUME, they always called him as Colson, which is supposed to be the second name of the men in his family. Getting last son movie vibes anyways. He's probably the last Colson of his family. Bridget Vev (Ashleigh mom) supposedly said in her private facebook page his daughter does not have Colson has her second name, she also said Emma Cannon was not his baby moms name.

He legally must have gotten rid of it in his early to mid 20s. His former full name was probably (LET ME ASSUME HERE AGAIN) the reason he always went by MACHINE GUN KELLY in the early 10s when he had to do TV gigs. He embraced Colson Baker or just Colson as his public name during the Hotel Diablo era. Making that album must have been healing.

I know he always says he never got his driving licence (i think he did get it but he had it taken away for some reason). But if you are willing to go down the memory lanes, you can check yourself, he might still have this old facebook post (he already was in his 20s) where he shows the driving licence he just got and with his hands, he's hiding both of his private information and what seems the first name Richard.

Well, not having a driving licence never stopped him anyways 😭😂. He probably still drives without it now and he always drove his father black truck around Cleveland, especially after his dad left for Kenya(?) after kells turned 18.

Only one I could find, but I'll continue to call him Richard when he's in trouble 😂

[i-think-i-did-it-again]

We were never meant to be

Warning: swearing, drinking

You lay beside Colson, still consumed by sleep, his breathing deep and steady. You stared at the ceiling, counting the cracks one by one to pass the time. The night seems to be dragging along at the most uncomfortable speed and your never ending thoughts aren’t helping. You groan and roll over, trying desperately to silence your mind. You pull the sheet tighter under your arms to shield yourself from the guilt.

You told yourself that the last time would be just that, the last time. But then you heard his voice on the phone. The way he dragged out your name as he half begged, half demanded that you come over and “hang”. You knew then exactly what hanging with Colson would lead to. It’s the same dance the two of you have played for years. He calls you to come over, you order some form of takeaway, he puts some random movie or playlist on as background noise, then he turns to you and tells you how beautiful he thinks you are and suddenly your hands are in his hair, his lips on your neck, moaning your name. You have sex, he has a blunt and then he rolls over and goes to sleep and you’re left lying there feeling empty and alone.

It’s not like the sex isn’t good, it’s amazing but you know deep down that you want to be more than a booty call to him. You know you’ve been in love with him for years. You knew 12 months ago when this happened the first time that your feelings for him were greater than his feelings for you. Sure, you can tell he’s attracted to you because why else would he sleep you if he didn’t find you attractive on a basic level but that’s not exactly something to write home about. All of your friends, even Colson’s friends, tell you that what you’re doing isn’t healthy. That you’re just torturing yourself with the idea that you can turn this into something it’s not but you just can’t seem to stop. In the biggest cliche ever, Colson is like a drug that you just can’t seem to get enough of, no matter what you do. 

You’ve tried dating other guys but you always find yourself comparing them to him. You haven’t seriously dated someone since your first night with Colson and that makes you feel even more guilty than the sex. You know that if you put an end to the arrangement, if you started dating more seriously, maybe even found someone that made you feel worthy and beautiful, that you’d get over Colson. The problem is, you don’t want to get over him. You have this stupid idea in your head that one day he’ll look at you, realise he’s madly in love with you and beg to be with you and only you. A dumb dream that you can’t seem to shake.

You huff and pull yourself out of bed. You gather your clothes and dress as quietly as possible. You grab your phone from the floor where it was earlier abandoned and check the time. 2:03am. Great, now you’re going to look dead tired for your birthday party in less than 12 hours and your friends are going to know exactly why. You look at Colson's sleeping face one last time, tears pooling in your eyes at that angelic face. When Colson is asleep, he looks so untroubled. You have to look away because all your body wants to do is curl up next to him. Pretend that he’s your loving boyfriend and you’re just falling asleep in his arms like it’s a normal night together. 

You tear your eyes away and tiptoe down the hallway before descending the stairs. You open the front door as quietly as possible and escape into the night. You never leave in the middle of the night and you can feel the shift in your body. You feel it deep in your bones. This is the last time.

********

Colson wakes light and rested, in the way he always does after a night with you. Something about falling asleep next to your soft, warm body makes him feel safe. He rolls over to get a glimpse of your peaceful, sleeping face but finds the spot beside him empty. He feels the spot where your body would normally be and finds it cold. He didn’t even realise you’d woken up before him. He fumbles around for a pair of sweatpants and drags them up his legs as he tries to head down the hallway. He takes a deep breath as he stands at the top of the stairs. That giddy feeling he always gets when he’s around you fills his stomach with butterflies.

Colson heads down the stairs, listening for the sound of you in his oversized house but comes up with silence. He heads into the kitchen and finds it empty, no trace of freshly brewed coffee. The TV isn’t on so he knows you’re not in the living room. The back door is locked so he knows you’re not in the backyard. He strains to listen for any movement in the house whatsoever and hears nothing but the sound of his own heartbeat. He opens his front door, already knowing exactly what he’d see, an empty driveway, your car long gone. 

Colson heads back upstairs to check his phone to see if maybe some emergency pulled you away from him earlier than expected. His phone has messages from everyone but you. He tries to call you but his call goes straight to voicemail. He sends you a text but after 10 minutes of nothing, he realises you’re not replying and he sits down on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, defeat filling his body. He’s finally done it. He’s finally pushed you to the point of no longer caring. He promised himself a year ago when he made love to you for the first time that he wouldn’t do it, he wouldn’t ruin you but he did it anyway. He always manages to fuck things up. He knew you’d get bored of him but he just hoped it wouldn’t happen so soon. He hasn’t gotten his fill of you. He could have you a million times and he’d never get enough of you.

“FUCK!” he screams into the empty abyss that is his house. The silence and the loneliness begins to fill him to the absolute brink.

He checks his phone again, just in case you’d replied to him or tried to call him in the 2 minutes since he’d looked at his phone. Nothing. He notices a text from Rook that mentions your name and his fingers have never moved so quickly in his life. He taps on the message and sees a half articulate message.

Yo, u 🚗 wth me for Y/N 🎂 🎉 2nite?

A glimmer of hope shatters through Colson’s chest at the reminder of your birthday party later that evening. You’d invited him months ago. You were so excited that you were literally bouncing off the walls. He couldn’t help but laugh at your giddy anticipation. He liked seeing you like that. You were completely free. You had this uncaring attitude yet somehow it didn’t come across as cocky or self-absorbed. You were just happy and you were glad to show it, no matter who was watching. You took the whole ‘dance as if no one is watching’ literally and he loved that side of you.

Colson sends a quick ‘yes’ reply to Rook and a pick-up time and lays back on his bed, thinking about what he’s going to say to you tonight. He knows he can’t just wing it. He knows he has to have something well thought out and coherent explanation for his feelings, to explain to you. He knows that being a musician, words should be his strong point but when it comes to you, all rationality flies out of his head. Hence why it’s taken him a year to explain to you exactly how he feels.

********

At your pre-drinks, you don’t exactly feel the buzzing excitement you felt when you planned this night 3 months ago. This is the first birthday you’ve had where you’ve actually had the money to splurge on a party. You hired out an entire rooftop bar, hired a DJ, pre-paid for an entire evening of bottle service and bought an absolutely banging outfit especially for the occasion. You even promised your friends that you’d wear heels! This whole night was such a big deal to you but now, it seems over the top and self-indulgent. Like why would someone need to go to such an effort for their own birthday party? It’s not even a major birthday.

You hate feeling like that girl whose mood is completely dependent on a guy but you were excited to celebrate your birthday with Colson. The last three birthdays you’ve had, he’s been on tour or out of town visiting Cassie. This was the first birthday that he was actually going to be there. Although, he did always make sure he was the first to wish you for your birthday. Last year he even called you during his concert, live on stage, to wish you a ‘happy birthday’ at midnight. You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face for the whole day.

Your friend calls for your attention to hold up her two outfit choices and you shake off the feeling of sadness and just try to be in the moment. You throw back your entire drink and pick a dress for her. Sophie arrives not long after that and your excitement somewhat returns. You’d asked her to do your makeup for the night and she’d been a more than willing helper. You were a bit unsure when she’d sent you a few look ideas, that were mildly over the top, in the past few weeks but you’d both eventually settled on a heavy smokey eye. When you saw her setting out the false lashes and lipstick shades, your confidence wavered slightly but you pushed the negative thoughts away.

Who are you trying so hard for? Your subconscious scolded you but you just took a shot of tequila to shut her sassy ass up.

“Trust me, you’ll drop dead bangable by the time I’m finished with you,” Sophie reassures you, although you’re not really sure if you find it reassuring. 

The music blares as Colson steps off the elevator onto the rooftop. His stomach is filled with that uncomfortable nausea again. That feeling he only gets when he knows he’s going to be seeing you. It’s an overwhelming excitement and nervousness that fills his entire body. His heart rate speeds up, his palms begin to sweat and all rational thought escapes him. He tugs at the present bag in his jacket pocket, making sure it’s still there for the 100th time since he got to Rook's place. The Uber ride had felt like hours but it had only been 5 minutes. 

Colson looks around for you but Rook spots you first. He points to your spot in the middle of the dancefloor, your eyes closed, swaying to the music, completely in your own world even though you’re surrounded by a sea of your friends. Colson holds his breath as he takes in your appearance. He’s not surprised by your over the top makeup, he expected it when Sophie told him last week that she was doing it, but somehow on you it looked just the right amount. It wasn’t too heavy and it wasn’t too light. He could tell that you’d probably convinced Sophie to tone it back a little bit. It accentuated your already beautiful features. The way the red lipstick made your lips look even more full than usual made his groin ache and he had to adjust his stance to cover that fact.

Colson’s eye wandered down to your dress and his eyes almost fell out of his head. You were wearing a silver sparkly mini dress that hugged your curves in all the right places. Your full breasts were barely contained in the tight material. Your legs seemed to go on forever and the black, strappy heels gave your legs amazing definition. Your skin was bronzed and glowy, the lights of the bar hitting your skin just right. 

Your eyes open as someone grabs your hand and spins you. You look up to see Rook’s adorable smile shining at you as he wraps an arm around your waist to pull you to him and off the dancefloor. He kisses your cheek and you instantly feel your face heat up at the casual gesture. Things have always been natural between Rook and you. He’s got this chill, go with the flow attitude that just makes him so easy to get along with. He’s one of those people that it’s almost impossible to get in an argument with.

“Happy birthday babe!” he calls over the music, giving you another kiss on the cheek.

He pulls out an envelope from his back pocket and hands it to you. Before you can show him where the present table is, he’s off in the direction of their usual group, crowding around the bar. You shake your head and chuckle at his one track mind before heading off to the present table in the far corner of the bar, slightly hidden near a small garden with a water feature. The music isn’t as deafening here and you take a few minutes to hear the sound of your own thoughts. You place the card with the others and wonder if maybe you should ask the staff to move the table somewhere more visible to guests when a hand taps on your shoulder, causing you to squeal and jump at the same time. You turn to scold the stranger but the words get stuck in your throat as you look up to see Colson’s unreadable face.

“Sorry,” he mumbles with a sympathetic smile. You shake your head as a way of dismissing him.

Looking at his face is making your chest tighten so you look down at your feet uncomfortably, wishing that he’d make some lame excuse and follow Rook to the bar. His black jeans and dark tie dye t-shirt are casual but yet he’s somehow still the most attractive guy in the room, which makes looking at him even harder. He seems to be searching for something to say and the silence is killing you so you have to break the tension before your head explodes.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” you tell him with a tight smile. His eyes light up slightly and you start to feel the tension dissipate a little. 

“Thanks for inviting me. This place is pretty fucking amazing. How did you find it?” he asks, looking around at the open space behind him.

“Someone I work with had their engagement party here last year and I just fell in love with the open space and setup,” you explain, looking at all of your friends on the dancefloor, enjoying themselves.

“This is exactly what I’d pictured when you said rooftop bar, it’s very-”

“Why are you here Colson?” you interrupt him before he can finish his sentence. 

You’re not nearly drunk enough for this situation. You thought you could do small talk with him but being this close to him and not being able to reach out and touch him is so difficult, you can’t keep up the pleasantries for much longer. The elephant in the room feels like it’s sitting on your chest and the longer you stand here, the more crushing it feels. You feel horrible at the small part of you that had wished he wouldn’t come. The larger, desperate part of you was dying to see him, even if he did just come out of obligation because of your invitation from months ago.

“I-I wanted to see you for your birthday,” he explains but you feel like it’s half an explanation. Like he’s almost holding something back. “And because you invited me and basically all of my friends,” he gestures to his group of friends now moving towards the dancefloor.

You’re not really sure what witty comeback you were planning to give him but the words stick in your throat. For some reason whenever you’re around him, every intelligent thought seems to seep out of your brain and all you can do is stare at his handsome face like a silent mime. It physically hurts your heart to look at him. All your mind wants to do is imagine a life together. One where he loves you, where you’re the only woman he wants or could ever want. You would spend Sundays in bed together, your hands intertwined, talking, laughing, making love, tracing everyone of his tattoos. But that’s not the reality you live in.

“Well, thanks for coming,” you mumble and try to push past him to join back into your own party.

“Wait,” he grabs your wrist and you pull back as if his touch burns your skin. You notice an unreadable emotion flitter across his face but he turns away before you can study it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, pink party bag and hands it to you. “Will you at least open the present I bought you?”

You grimace but take the small bag. You contemplate just putting the present with all your other presents but you don’t want to be purposely nasty to him. After all, he didn’t really need to buy you a present. Written on the small tag attached to the handle in scribbly writing is simply:

Happy birthday, beautiful x 

You try to ignore the flutter in your chest at his simple but sweet message. You pull out the small jewellery box inside and place the bag on the table behind you. You open the bag and inside is a beautiful diamond pendant necklace in the shape of a teardrop and your heart immediately begins to hammer in your chest. You can’t believe he remembered the necklace you’d shown him over a year ago.

You’d gone out for coffee with him one Sunday morning and you happened to walk past a jewellery store on the way back to his car. You always had a habit of looking in the window of jewellery stores, just simply to admire all the beautiful diamonds. You had absentmindedly pointed out this exact necklace to him and had completely forgotten about the encounter until now.

“You remembered?” you whisper, your voice cracking slightly at the overwhelming emotions swirling inside of you.

“I remembered the way your eyes lit up when you saw it, so after I dropped you home I went back and bought it for you. I was going to give it to you this morning for your birthday but…” his voice trails off as you both know exactly why he didn’t give it to you this morning. He didn’t have a chance to.

“Colson…I-I don’t know what to say but, thank you.”

No one has ever given you a present that has such an unspoken significance. The fact that he had bought it so long ago just because he knew how much you loved it muddles your feelings all over again. You’re so scared that if you try to convey exactly how you feel with words, you’ll end up a blubbering mess or you’ll ruin the moment by telling him how you feel and then you won’t be able to take it back. You thought this morning that you were strong enough to live without Colson but now, now that he’s done something so sweet, you’d happily be his booty call and friend for the rest of your life.

You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly as no words seem enough to tell him exactly how grateful you are for the gift. You bury your face in his neck and breath in his musky cologne. You feel his arms wrap around your waist and he holds you against his body, moulding you perfectly to him. You stand there for a few seconds and you go to pull away but Colson tightens his grip, refusing to release you.

“No,” he mumbles into your hair and you smile. 

You run your fingers through his hair and he practically purrs in your arms. Eventually, he releases you but only to hold your face in his hands, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He leans down slowly and you stop breathing as soon as you realise what he’s doing. He lips brush against yours and your head swims with a hundred questions and a hundred unregistered emotions. He kisses you again, deeper and with more force and your lips parts as you moan into his touch.

Colson has never kissed you casually. He’s never kissed you in front of everyone. Your physical contact when you’re with all of your friends goes no further than a quick hug or a drunken arm thrown over your shoulders to help keep him up. This new experience is both confusing and exhilarating at the same time. You try to live in the moment and his lips against yours is the one thing that can make your brain shut up and the world melt away. After you’re not sure how long, you both have to pull away to fill your lungs with oxygen.

“That was…” you gasp out in between shallow breaths.

“Yeah,” Colson chuckles, still holding your face in his hands. He looks at you so intensely that your breathing stops momentarily and you’re slightly scared about what he’s going to say. “Y/N, I had this big, long-winded speech planned but being with you, all of it has completely fucked off so all I’m going to say is, I love you. I’ve loved you for a very long time and I’ve been spending the last year trying to work out how to tell you. I thought that after I took so fucking long to actually say how I felt and I wasn’t sure how you felt, that maybe we were never meant to be but after you left this morning, I realised that that’s fucking bullshit. I think we were meant to be from the moment I met you 4 years ago at a random bar, in a random sketchy area, in a random coincidence and now I’m just making it happen.”

“I…I didn’t think you felt that way about me,” you tell him honestly. You feel dumb for ignoring everything he just said but you’re in complete shock. “I-I love you too by the way.” Colson laughs and shakes his head, leaning down to kiss you again.

“Well, you better because that necklace was fucking expensive,” he teases and you melt into him, effortlessly. 

“Best. Birthday. Ever,” you chuckle and kiss him again, unable to wipe the smile from your face.

[triplexdoublex]

Curious about your opinion on this.

Especially with his tweet last night, someone mentioned they think that colson is fully aware of what he doing and does it purposely to bring people in or to keep attention on his name, I honestly don’t think it’s true. I believe he is actually suffering and his tweets or when he speaks about his mental health isn’t for an attention grab and just a cry for help. But I’ve been seeing a couple people call it one, thoughts?

Honestly I’ve always 100% believed him and his tweets about his struggles with mental health and I do still think he was being honest with those HOWEVER last nights tweet did not sit right with me and it did feel like that’s exactly what he was doing ! This next part I copy and pasted directly from a dm I sent a friend the second I found out it was only lyrics!

“Dude I’m so mad at colson ! That mf could have chose any other line in the song to tease but he chose the one that was gonna make us think he killed himself ! That’s some 13yr old “I’m gonna run away and kill myself” attention seeking behavior!”

[tani-b-art]

I can see the Aces using Megan as a trade, unfortunately. Kiah when she was 100%, is better than Meg. Kiah is still recovering from her foot injury from last year. If they don’t use Meg as a trade, I won’t be surprised if GSV picks her up. Why? She played for GSV’s Vice President when she was in London playing 🏀.

AC is 5’11” while Kate is 6 ft tall. Becky has said she sees Kate as a strong 3-and-D player. These type of players can either be an off-ball guard or wing who are strong shooters and takes pride in their defense. AC is a Forward while Kate is a Guard, but they’ve played the 3 or 4 this year. One would think Becky would have told Bell to shadow AC this season since they both play the forward position, but no. Becky chose Kate instead - honestly her defense is better than Bell. Just watch KB game 1 vs Mercury this year, defense was atrocious.

I can also see KP leave and if she does, AND Tip doesn’t retire, she’s the next logical person to replace KP. So, the lineup could look: A’ja, Jackie, Chelsea, Tip, Kiah.

The Aces exercised KB’s 4th yr option- meaning it’s a protected rookie contract (right now her contract is unprotected). What does a protected rookie contract mean? It means, if she gets waived or injured, she will still get paid. If GSV selects her, they get the rights to her protect rookie contract and off of the Aces’ salary cap.

Syd, if she doesn’t retire, I can see the Aces give her another training camp contract.

The thing I’m waiting on is who’s going to be the GSV head coach. Natalie Nakase’s name has been floating around and I won’t be surprised if it’s her.

If these players don’t get protected: Kate, Meg, KB, Kitley, Syd, AC, Tip…who do you think GSV will pick?

I honestly don’t know how or why KB is still on the roster and survived getting cut this year when her defense has not improved and it’s her 3rd season with the Aces. I guess it helps to be Jackie’s bff but Becky has got to stop wasting roster spots based off of vibes.

If Natalie IS the GSV coach, I can definitely see KP walking. Why was the GSV owner and President at that Aces game vs Chicago before the break? Was it for Natalie? KP? Both? Besides LVA ownership, GSV owner will also not be shy to throw money into the team.

I totally forgot about Colson! Yikes—that was an honest slip. Now that you reminded me, yeah, I see her resigning as well. I made the edit on the other post. Colson stays too. (sorry Syd)

Trades: yep, can see Gustafson going, Egbo going too. But the more statistical trades in their benefit to me would be Stokes and Bell and Gustafson only if Kitley isn’t ready. That won’t happen tho. BUT if they would, Aces could use a Satou Sabally, Ariel Powers or Monique Billings in the 4 position and the 1-2, Victoria Vivians could be additions or replacements if trades take place. The 5, I have no clue.

If Kitley is able to translate how she played in college and will finally be active from the injury, then there isn’t anything to be concerned about (other than ‘25 will technically be her rookie season with no experience because she wasn’t able to play officially) because she’ll cover much needed areas in the paint. I did my homework and watched a full game and some highlights. I watched VT’s game vs Duke (random selection). She covers a lot of area in the paint on both ends. She’s constantly moving especially on defense, hungry for boards (especially offensive to create second chance possessions—an area the Aces absolutely need), a shot blocker and is a scorer (the and1s too)! She can produce that double-double factor. Wilson and Kitley together can be that dynamic big duo that we see with bigs. If she brings all of that, the Aces have that paint presence secured! Kitley has the length too. Very fluid on offense. Her fade away! The way that game went, it gave me flashes of Wilson being the team’s most reliable and consistent player. So, she should fit very well lol!

Nakase will leave the Aces as an assistant to head GSV?! Wooow. If there’s a preference for in-house, I could see Tanisha Wright or Nikki Blue becoming GSV’s head coach. If not, I could see Kellie Harper from TN (which I doubt any NCAAW coaches have ever been hired to a W team). Or the W will W and end up hiring a NBA coach or NBA assistant coach instead.

The Aces’ coaching staff all season seemed really non-vocal. It appeared their input wasn’t requested or considered at all. Because it cannot be that none of them gave their feedback to Hammon on having a better bench/rotation strategy. So that’s why I’m pretty shocked with you mentioning Nakase at all.

The only Ace I see going to GSV is Plum. Maybe Hayes. Big maybe. Doubtful on Hayes.

Martin and Clark—I did mean that Martin gives off small forward. Even though she’s taller than Clark, she still occupies small space defensively. Martin gives off more small forward than anything. But she was one of the better defensive players this season for the Aces.

“…but Becky has got to stop wasting roster spots based off of vibes.”

That’s what I’m saying!!! Hammon did this for the entire 40 games. Spent a good chunk of the season not having an effective plan on who to sign to fill in the big gaps this lineup had all season. While also keeping players who provided no meaningful efficiency to the team. The vibes worked out ‘23 but that vibes mentality won’t work ever again. All these W teams have gotten so much better with their cohesive flows and their coaches have impactful strategies with deep benches. Hammon didn’t make adjustments pre-Olympics at the time that gave her enough time to alter things. At the time that showed her what was lacking for her lineup. There were warnings and red flags long ago. She didn’t assign new roles to anyone or yet alone sign additional players to fulfill roles (I don’t include Hayes in this because she was the most successful sign they made but when they were signing folks then releasing them within 2 business days..that’s what I’m referring to). Nothing flashed on her radars. Nothing appeared to alert or alarm her. Even when she said she felt in training camp, the edge wasn’t there and she still did absolutely nothing. And she still didn’t make changes post-Olympics AND didn’t make the final changes until the playoffs on desperate mode. That was way too late then. She was well aware of the setback she had without Gray and also Stokes starting the season off since last year and still no modifications were made in preparation. Made no real proactive plans for losing Parker either. If there’s an article on Hammon’s coaching for this season, please direct me to it. Because answers are needed. It needs to be studied. The vibes landed them in 4th place and kept them in 4th to close out. Relying solely on the core 4 (and mainly 1 in Wilson) with no reinforcements and just completely sucking every bit of (wo)manpower out of them hoping they’ll have the season stamina was so bad. Over extending the core 4 and absolutely draining Wilson was disastrous. UNLESS, there were not made public restrictions for the misconduct and the front office was being punished for it. I’m still going with this as to why Hammon and the Aces didn’t sign who the really needed and also didn’t play who they really needed. Gustafson and Egbo finally getting minutes in games 3-4 makes me believe my theory.

Off brand, not of huge importance: do you think they’ll change their color scheme back to the ‘18-‘23 era w/ the gold? I’ve been screaming about the color change curse to match the Raiders was a mistake.

[hollywoodxwhore]

wanted - part 12

Woohoo I finally wrote! And I'm leaving y'all on a cliffhanger to make you hate me even more! Sorry... I am currently writing the next chapter though, so hopefully that'll be up shortly. Thanks for sticking around during my little hiatus. I hope you enjoy!

Colson x Original Female Character x Pete

Warnings: some smut (18+), swearing, alcohol usage

It’s my birthday. 

Normally, I wake up sad on my birthday. I’m not really sure why. Maybe because a birthday makes you think of who really cares, and you’re expecting messages from people, and when they don’t come, you feel like you don’t matter. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and that freaks me out. Whatever it is, I’m glad that I don’t wake up on this birthday feeling sad.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that Colson is in bed beside me. He’s on his side, hand tucked under his head, and he sleeps soundly. I love the way that the sunlight catches his face, giving him a warm glow. He’s become so special to me so quickly. I’ve never been so happy, and I know you’re not supposed to find happiness solely in a relationship. I think Colson is just enhancing my life. A friend turned partner. It’s perfect.

It hasn’t even been a month since we made it official but I can’t help what I’m feeling. I’m at the edge of the cliff, so close to falling in love with Colson it’s scary. I won’t admit it any time soon, not until he does, but I feel it. How can I not? Colson is kind, funny, caring, and sexy. We get along great and I’m so much happier when I’m with him. 

I’m daydreaming about our relationship so deeply that I don’t notice his eyes are open until he says my name. I jump a little and meet his eyes, smiling sheepishly. “Hey,” I whisper.

“Hey,” Colson says with a sleepy grin. “C’mere.” I scoot closer, letting him wrap me in his arms. Warm lips press to my forehead and he gives me a squeeze. “Happy birthday, baby.”

I smile and nuzzle in closer. “Thank you,” I say. 

Colson told me last night, two glasses of wine in, that his birthday present was something amazing. I couldn’t get anything else out of him, no matter how hard I tried, and now that I’m remembering it again, I’m eager to find out what it is. 

“Hey,” I say, looking up at him. “When do I get my present?”

Colson laughs. “Later tonight. Probably after dinner.” He’s taking me out to dinner and then we’ll spend the night here. 

“I guess I’d better get up and start getting ready,” I say. 

Colson gives me a kiss, squeezing my ass. “Yeah. You do that.” 

Later that night, I drive over to Colson’s place in my birthday outfit, a silky red dress that hugs my curves. Sophie and Alicia helped me pick it out and I feel beautiful in it. I can’t wait to show Colson.

I park in my usual spot in the driveway and let myself into the house. Pete is on the couch and he smiles, hopping to his feet. “Hey! Happy birthday!” he says, wrapping me in a hug. He smells good and his hug is warm. I’ve stopped trying to convince myself that I don’t still feel something for Pete. It’s pointless to keep lying to myself. 

Pete pulls back from the hug and turns his head. “Kells! Alex is here!” he calls, then turns back to me. “You look beautiful,” he says, and I’m surprised to see a glimpse of what looks like pain in his deep brown eyes. It makes my heart squeeze in my chest. But there’s something else there, too…mischief?

“Hey,” I say, narrowing my eyes. 

Pete stuffs his hands into his pockets and looks at me innocently. “What’s up?”

“Do you know what my birthday present is going to be?” 

Pete opens his mouth to say something, but then I catch sight of Colson over Pete’s shoulder and my face lights up with a smile. Colson smiles right back as he saunters over. Pete steps out of the way and Colson cups my face, tipping it up so he can kiss me. “Hi,” he murmurs. 

“Hi,” I say through a smile, wrapping my arms around his waist. 

“Ready to go?” he asks, and I nod. Colson pulls away and turns to Pete. “See you later, brother.”

“See ya. Have fun,” Pete says from where he’s returned to the couch. I shoot what I hope is a menacing look at him over my shoulder as Colson takes my hand and we walk outside. Pete just winks and waves, and fuck if I don’t feel that wink right between my legs. 

Colson takes me to my favorite restaurant - Texas Roadhouse, duh - and we order drinks to start, sharing a basket of rolls. He looks so handsome, slightly dressed up. He just got a haircut - long on top and short on the sides, and it really suits him. The sides are his natural, darker color and the top of bleach blonde. “I love your hair, by the way,” I tell him.

Colson chuckles. “So you’ve said. A couple hundred times,” he teases.

I lightly kick his shin beneath the table and giggle. “Leave me alone. I just really like it, okay?” 

“I like yours, too,” Colson agrees. “And that dress. Goddamn.” His voice lowers as his eyes dip to my cleavage, and he takes his lip between his teeth as his eyes glaze over.

I blush and look around. “Save it for later, ya perv,” I joke, reaching for his hand. Colson takes my hand in his and leans in to kiss my knuckles, holding eye contact with me. My heart flutters in my chest, and suddenly, I realize I can’t deny another lie I’ve been telling myself. I’m 100% in love with Colson. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, blue eyes burning into mine. 

I shrug. “Nothing important,” I lie. 

We eat a delicious dinner and talk the entire time. On the drive back to his house, Colson pushes the hem of my dress up and rests his hand on my thigh, thumb stroking gently. Heat shoots between my legs and I bite my lip. I literally can’t get enough of him. 

He’s initiated every time, mainly because I’m terrified of rejection, and even though he’s my boyfriend now, I’m still scared it’ll happen. I glance over at him as he drives and he smiles at me. I turn my body and lean over, kissing his neck. Colson tenses up, breath hitching. “What are you doing?” he purrs.

“Nothing,” I murmur into his warm skin, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over the side of his neck. Reaching over, I untuck his shirt from his dress pants and slip my hand beneath his shirt to feel his stomach. Colson curses quietly under his breath and then his hand covers mine and pulls it back. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask, tracing my tongue over the double x tattoo behind his ear, a surefire way to make his dick hard. And it does. I watch as his pants begin to tent. 

Colson lets out a shaky breath. “I have cake for us at home. Pete’s waiting to have some with us,” he says. “Can we just hold off until after? I don’t really want to walk into my house with a boner.”

“Mm,” I hum against his skin. “Just this once.” I pull back after tucking his shirt back in. He shifts in his seat and adjusts his cock in his pants, letting out a breath. Even in the late evening light, I can see the pink splotches on his cheeks and it makes me smile. 

When we pull up to the house, Colson comes to get my door. The inside is completely dark and I frown. “You sure Pete didn’t bail on us?” I ask. “Looks dark in there.”

Colson frowns, too. “He better not have,” he says irritably. “Maybe he fell asleep.” He takes my hand and leads me to the door. He unlocks it and we step into the pitch black. Out of nowhere, the lights flick on, and I jolt, shocked to find that the living room is filled with people. 

“Surprise!” they yell in unison, and that’s when I notice the party hats, the balloons, and the sign hanging from the doorway between the kitchen and living room reading ‘Happy Birthday Alex!’. 

I laugh and swat Colson’s stomach. “What the hell! You planned this?” I yell over the commotion.

Colson grins down at me and bends to kiss me softly. “Happy birthday, baby.”

I’m immediately bombarded by hugs, and I just can’t believe Colson pulled off a surprise party. A room full of people I love, with the one who planned it all being the one I love most. I smile at him from where Alicia has me in an embrace, and I narrow my eyes. So that’s why he didn’t want to fool around in the car. I’ll get him back later. 

I’m handed a drink and then we gather around the table to play waterfall, my favorite drinking game. It’s easy to get fucked up, but it’s so fun that I don’t even mind. Sure enough, after a few rounds, we’re all drunk and rowdy. I’m in Colson’s lap laughing loudly at something Slim said, and I’m so, so happy. 

The only problem is my wandering eye. 

I can’t help but notice Pete. He sits on the couch, legs in the perfect man-spread position, big, tattooed hand curled around a beer. His cheeks are rosy and his smile is warm and his voice jolts something within me whenever he talks. Plus, he keeps glancing over at me and smirking like an asshole.

But then I feel Colson’s warm hand on my hip, his lips against my shoulder, and I smile, remembering that this is my boyfriend. Sexy, smart, funny, and kind, Colson is mine. So why am I still hung up on Pete?

“Can we play truth or dare but with only dares?” I slur, and the group laughs. 

“We pretty much already know everything about each other,” Rook says with a shrug. 

“Sure, birthday girl,” Slim says. “You wanna go first?”

“I can never think of good dares,” I pout. “You go first, babe.”

“Alright,” Colson says, looking around the circle. “Rook, I dare you to do a backflip.”

“Wait,” Alicia says. “Can you actually do one?”

Rook laughs. “Yeah, I can. Not sure how well when I’m this drunk, though.” The ceiling is high and Rook backs up away from the group. We all watch in awe as he throws a perfect backflip, landing solidly. Everyone cheers and Rook bows. 

The game continues on. We’re all coupled up, but everything always ends up sexual in nature. I return to Colson’s lap after Sophie fulfilled a dare given to her by Logan. She was dared to make out with me and she pulled me right into her lap for the dare. My heart is racing a little and it only quickens when I feel Colson’s erection against my ass. 

“That was hot, baby,” he murmurs against my ear. 

I hum in response, pleasantly drunk and turned on. I’m about to drag his ass from the room when Sophie speaks. 

“Kells, your turn,” she says. 

“Alright,” Colson says, scanning the room. His eyes land on Pete. something mischievous flickers in Colson’s eyes. “Pete,” he says. “I dare you to make Alex moan.”

The room falls awkwardly silent. Pete clears his throat, cheeks reddening. “Wh-what?” he asks.

“You heard me,” he says, eyes burning into Pete’s. “Dare’s a dare. She’s the birthday girl, after all.”

“Are you serious?” I ask, looking at Colson, who only nods. His eyes hold no jealousy, just smoldering desire, and he’s gotten even harder against me, if possible. I swallow hard and glance at Pete. 

“Shit,” Pete says, then laughs, patting his thighs. “Come here, Alex.”

It’s a good thing we’re all drunk. Colson pushes me off him and I stumble over to Pete, taking his hand as he pulls me into his lap. I glance around, and everyone’s eyes are on me. The guys are smirking and the girls just look intrigued. No one looks worried or scared. 

I glance at Colson and he nods, picking up his drink. “Go on, baby,” he tells me. 

I swallow hard and look at Pete, who’s staring up at me with dark eyes. Fuck, he looks hot. He bites his lip. “You okay with this?” he asks. I can’t speak right now, so a small nod is my only response. “Good,” he murmurs, and then he’s leaning in, wrapping soft lips around the side of my neck. I swallow hard and close my eyes, hands tightening on his shoulders. 

The heavy bass of a loud song pulsates in my body. I could moan now and end this, or I could milk it. I’m too drunk to feel guilty and I choose the latter. I let Pete’s lips explore my neck and chest, moving slowly down my cleavage. My chest heaves slightly and Pete huffs against my heated skin. I’m keeping it together relatively well until he decides to end me.

Suddenly, Pete’s big hands grip my ass hard and he drags his tongue up my cleavage and neck, and a moan slips out, uninhibited. It’s then that I remember our friends are surrounding us, and they celebrate Pete completing his dare. Pete gives my ass a little pat that shouldn’t be as sexy as it is, and I get off his lap, returning to Colson. 

My boyfriend smirks and wraps his arm around me, resting his big hand on my thigh. He leans down into my ear. “Did you like that?” he murmurs. 

I look up at him, unsure of what to say. Shouldn’t Colson be jealous? He was the one to dare Pete in the first place. I’m confused. “I’ll be right back,” I say. I need to clear my head, get some fresh air. I push off the couch and walk out onto the back porch, feeling sober as soon as the cool air hits my skin. I draw in a deep breath and steady myself on the railing. What the fuck is going on?

Colson asked me to be his girlfriend. I suppose he never said anything specific about being exclusive, but I just figured that’s what we were doing. But now he’s daring his best friend to make me moan. Who does that? I’m not sure how to feel about it, but it’s hard to figure it out because my pussy aches between my thighs. I squeeze them together and let out a little helpless noise, closing my eyes. My throat tightens and the backs of my eyes begin to sting. I don’t know what to do with these feelings.

I don’t turn around when I hear the door whoosh open and shut behind me, but I do notice there are two sets of footsteps. I tense up slightly as Colson steps up beside me, leaning against the railing, but I do look over when Pete takes my other side. I blink in confusion, pinching the bridge of my nose. “What the hell is going on?” I ask helplessly.

Colson and Pete chuckle and I frown, glaring at Colson, whose smile fades immediately. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says, putting a hand to my lower back. “I should’ve talked to you about it first to see if you were okay with it.”

“Why are you okay with it?” I blurt, looking up into his intense blue eyes. “I-I’m your girlfriend. Pete’s your best friend.” I jerk my thumb towards the other man. 

Colson chuckles and meets Pete’s eyes over my head before looking back down at me. “Alex,” he says. “I like threesomes. Okay?” My body tenses, and the ache between my legs intensifies. Just then, Pete scoots closer, pushing my hair off my shoulder. I look up at him and he just watches me with his lip between his teeth. 

“I like watching my girl get fucked,” Colson continues, cupping my chin so I’ll look at him. “I want to watch you with Pete. And I want him to watch you with me.”

“I want that, too,” Pete says huskily, and I swallow hard, looking over at him again. He plays gently with my hair. “I’ve never stopped being attracted to you, Alex. Just because I don’t really date doesn’t mean I don’t still fuck.”

I stare dumbly at him for a moment before turning back to Colson. “Am I hallucinating this?” I ask. “Is this a trick to see if I’m faithful?”

Colson chuckles and shakes his head. “No, this is real,” he murmurs, “and definitely not a trick. I’ve been paying attention and I think you want this, too.”

He steps closer and grabs one of my hips, turning my body so my back is pressed to his front. His hands slide over my curves and I breathe shallowly as I feel his erection press against me. Pete steps forward, a question in his eyes as his fingertips trace down my neck. I close my eyes and whimper almost painfully. I do want this, so badly it hurts. Is that wrong?

“Here’s what I think we should do,” Colson murmurs in my ear. “Pete and I take you to my room and we fuck you, make you come until you can barely move.” My eyes are locked on Pete’s as Colson speaks, and Pete’s already dark brown eyes seem to blacken. 

“But we need to hear that you want this, Alex,” Pete says as he steps into my space. His hands find a space on my waist above Colson’s, and his thumbs graze the undersides of my breasts through my silky dress. My breath hitches. 

“Mm, she’s hesitant,” Colson murmurs. “She wants to be a bad girl, but she’s scared.” It should feel degrading, having Colson talk about me right in front of me, but it only makes me ache more. Colson snaps his fingers and I jolt slightly. “Ah,” he says. “Let’s see what her body is saying.”

Pete smirks as Colson’s hand skims up beneath my dress. The red silk moves easily as his fingers move between my legs, skillfully pushing aside the crotch of my panties, which is soaked. Colson lets out a low, raspy groan as his fingers find me dripping wet. “That’s what I thought,” he murmurs. “But I need to hear you say it, Alex.” 

I’m a shaken can of Coke ready to explode and I finally do. “Yes!” I blurt, cheeks reddening. “God, yes, I want it, I want both of you, please.” My words come out in a rush of breath and the boys chuckle together, meeting eyes. 

“Good girl,” Pete says, tipping my chin up as he leans down to kiss me. My legs weaken and Colson has to hold me up as Pete kisses me thoroughly, slowly at first but deeper as time goes on. I whimper helplessly into his mouth, gripping onto his shoulder with one hand and Colson’s wrist with the other. 

“P-please,” I squeak when he pulls back.

“Come on, baby,” Colson murmurs, pulling me towards the door. Pete follows close behind. Everyone’s still partying, pretty drunk now, so the three of us are able to easily sneak past everyone to Colson’s room. Pete locks the door behind us. 

Colson sits me on the bed and kneels down in front of me. Warm hands find my thighs, stroking gently, and there’s love in his eyes when he looks up at me. “Hey,” he murmurs. “Are you drunk?”

I shake my head no. “Tipsy, but not drunk.”

“Okay,” he says, nodding. “Alex. Do you want this?”

I swallow hard, glancing at Pete who leans against the wall. I can see his erection through his gray sweats and I have to stifle a moan as I look back at Colson. “Yes, I want this,” I say firmly. 

Colson grins and pulls me in for a slow kiss. “If it ever goes too far,” he says against my lips, “you tell us and we’ll stop.”

“Don’t even feel bad about it,” Pete says. “We don’t give a fuck. We’ll stop when you want us to.” They’re both so serious and a huge chunk of my anxiety dissolves. I nod and smile at Colson, and then Pete.

“Boys?” I say.

“Yeah, baby?” Colson asks at the same time Pete says, “Yeah?”

I look between them, then get to my feet. Their eyes are locked on me as I reach behind myself and unzip my dress. Then, I let it slowly puddle onto the floor around my feet, leaving me in a lacy matching set, stockings high up on my thighs. 

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ,” Pete says, swallowing hard. 

“Yeah,” Colson croaks, staring me down. 

I put my hands on my hips and smirk. “Can you please stop being so gentle now and fuck me like you promised?”

[sllowshow]

perhaps you could tell me a little bit about casey farb and how he regards his grand children....

casey farb is a muse that is really weird to continue talking about as he progressively ages because its like huh. what is that guy like as an old man. and ultimately what really is his fucking deal.

i think in a lot of ways, he would have the potential to be a better grandfather than he was father. because i think at the end of the day if you actually like psychoanalyzed his behaviors beneath the multiple untreated mental illnesses is a lot of fear. he looked for access and control with his kids to try and teach them everything he had learned to make sure he lived this long. like he grew up and lived much of his life in dangerous and hostile situations and the last thing he wants is for his kids to end up in the same spot and not be able to get out of it. that's the job of a father to casey like plain and simple. so with his grandkids, i think he respects that that role is not his. now is he still going to say insane shit at thanksgiving? sure. but his weirdo little moral code doesn't think its right for him to undermine his kids in front of their kids.

anyway i think ultimately his relationship with his individual kids really defines what his relationship with his grandkids would be. because access and control remain like. important parts of how he loves. like he cannot handle the negative emotion of longing for a relationship with the ones he doesn't see so he just shuts it down and focuses on the ones he does. like i think he regards them all pretty positively and would want to be involved in their lives. like he'd be as proud of them as he was his kids.

but i think i've said before like mavrick is uninterested in continuing the bloodline. i don't think he's opposed to having kids it's just a weird microchip thing that they won't be biologically farbs. and i think that would definitely put a strain not only between him and mav but also any potential kids. or like his relationship with colson was never the same after jace died so like. if they ever had kids again he's kind of made his own bed on how their parent will be regarding Papaw Farb.

but i don't think there would be any problems with like him and titus's kids (or like if karma or skeeter had kids). he's not reliable enough for like regular visits but they see each other a handful of times every year and again he goes way easier on them than he ever did his kids. birdie still getting whiplash going between grandparents weekend with wade and chelsie (funny to think of someone having a grandma named chelsie) to casey and whitney (weird they both have the same first initials.)

[cosmic-wayward]

A dangerous dance named: pulchra Proditio

“This was not the plan”, I whisper into my ear mic, being led to the dance floor by Rose. Normally, a guy would kill for a dance with someone of her beauty. Her red hair shimmered underneath the ballroom light. The purple dress she wore made heads turn and eyes leer. Each heel click made its way through the music, an echo of her power. Truthfully, I’d be one of those guys staring her down with lust mixed with love. However one single fact stopped me from dropping my guard; she was my mortal enemy. 

                “It may not have been in the plan Michael”, Colson said smugly, “But it does play right into our hands, plus who knows. Maybe that gusty dream of a woman could humble you, hard”. I sigh, knowing this forty something old man was chuckling it up in his office. But no matter how cocky he laughs, he’s right as always. She’s ten times the agent I could be and it showed. My first mission, she was the one who took out the man I was assigned to protect. As the rest of the security detail fanned out, my eyes caught her, putting the rifle she’d used away. Even in that dark vantage point across the way, that smile she flashed me burned its way into my head and my heart. With a wink, she ducked into the room she shot from, disappearing into the night. That was a few years ago, and since then my goal was to be her equal, or something better. Now, however, isn’t the time to daydream about what could be. This mission is important, so I gotta stay focused. Once we made our way to the floor, she turned to me, and flashed that smile she’s known for. My heart skipped, and my brain shut out the anger. She was a sight to behold, and here she was, wanting to dance with me. Her hands reached for mine, their connection made my guard crumble a bit. “Why me? Did she remember me?”, my thoughts raced, searching for rhyme or reason, but nothing came to mind. So here I was, ballroom dancing with a woman I swore I’d beat, I’d be better than.  Each move made the wall I’d built crumble like tissue paper. Our steps were in sync, the music commanding the evening into a soft, gentle mood. She pulled me in close, her head on my chest. I could feel her press against me, and against my better judgment, I let her get close. She held me tight, and I squeezed her back. We swayed to the melody that washed over the floor. When the music died down, and the floor cleared, she looked up at me, and smiled.        As everyone left the dance room, to mingle around the mansion, we were all alone. Our eyes were still locked from the dance. She pulled on my tie, and started to lead me somewhere. My heart was weak, and my walls were down. This woman, someone I had hated for so long, had swayed me, even though she never uttered a word. We walked down a beautifully decorated hall, her heel clicks accompanied by the soft steps of my dress shoes. Soon, she’s walking me into a guest bedroom and locking the door behind me. Any sense of danger is absent from the air as she pulls me close again, our lips colliding. I feel my heart melt, and truly, for the first time, I’m content. No longer is she my enemy, but someone I worship. We continue to connect, our souls becoming intertwined. Each second this lasted made time slow more and more. I heard Coleson say something, his voice starting to fade from my ear but it didn’t matter. I didn’t wanna let this moment pass or end. My anger, my loathing, all of it, all misplaced. “Maybe if I asked her we coul-”, my thought was cut short by something sharp. There, in my stomach, a blade tearing my insides apart. I saw the look on her face wasn’t one of malice nor of joy, but of sorrow. I collapsed to the floor as she let my body go. As I laid there, spilling blood every second, she slowly stepped back, and quickly left the room. Tears fell down my face, mixing with the blood on the floor. I was a fool, a damned fool. Here I shall die, a man caught in a beautiful betrayal.

[packernet]

New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2024/04/23/mock-draft-aneurysm/

Mock draft aneurysm

This article does not contain a mock draft. Sorry. I know you’re disappointed and clicking away for some other PFF crack cocaine clickbait.

Instead, how about a random patchwork of observations and vaguely informed opinions about guys I like, and guys I like less? Mostly, I’ll cover how little we actually know.  Mel Kiper Jr., Dane Brugler, Daniel Jeremiah and other “experts” know a lot more names and RAS scores than me. Their opinions and guesses are no better than yours or mine.

Wrongheaded wishes

Last year at this time, many of us wanted the Packers to draft Jaxon Smith-Njigba, supposedly, the best WR prospect in the draft. Instead, the Packers found Jaden Reed and Dontayvion Wicks with much lower picks who, after one year, appear to be as good or possibly better than JSN.

Big board wisdom

In 2022, many of us I had not heard of Quay Walker. The experts called it a reach; that he should have gone in the 2nd or 3rd round. Quay hasn’t been a bust, but he should have gone in the 2nd or 3rd.

AJ Dillon, Darnell Savage and Josiah DeGuera were not busts. They were over-drafted. Like every GM in the league, Brian Gutekunst has, and will again, botch picks. The key is hitting more than missing.

Movin’ on up

Historically, the Packers only move up a handful of picks to get their guy. The best moves in modern history were for Clay Matthews and Jaire Alexander. Former Packer GM and Coach Mike Sherman once moved up in the 3rd round for a punter–not such a sage move. Joe Alt, Byron Murphy and Terrion Arnold won’t likely be Packers, but I’d be ok to move up for them.

Which linebacker?

The Packers need 1-2 linebackers. The experts tell us none are 1st round worthy. Scouts don’t even agree who’s the best. The Packers could draft Edgerrin Cooper, Payton Wilson, Trevin Wallace or Junior Colson. The questions are, which and when?

Guys I like and guys I don’t

I like Amarious Mims, Graham Barton, Cooper DeJean. Kool Aid, Jer’Zhan Newton and Jackson Powers-Johnson are guys I like a lot less in the 1st. An offensive lineman is my preference, knowing they’ll get their linebackers and safeties in rounds 2 and after. A trade down could make a lot of sense.

Lying season

Hats off to Gutey for calling out all the subterfuge happening this time of year. I also agree with his comment that adding roster competition by picking even more than the 11-picks the Packers have. Considering his aforementioned subterfuge comments, the guess here is Gutekunst drafts less than 11.

Dream trade

My favorite speculative trade involves a panicked Denver team offering the Packers their 1st round pick next year for a shot at QB Bo Nix. Yes please! That could be a top 10 pick next year. The added bonus would be getting it from Sean Payton, a loathsome character with a face that says, “I’m kind of a jerk.”

Eat your vegetables!

In 2020, many of us let out a collective groan when Gutey moved up to draft QB Jordan Love. We wanted dessert in the form of a wide receiver or linebacker. Gutekunst knew the time was right for a good GM to eat his vegetables and hatch a QB succession plan. It’s the most obvious reminder that fans want to win now, while the GM is thinking 3-4 years down the road. In Gutey we trust!

[lastchancevillagegreen]

Another Top Ten Favorite Reads of 2023

I’m ranking this group of books as well. 

#11

The Sin of Abbé Mouret Émile Zola (1875)

The Belly of Paris Émile Zola (1873)

The Bright Side of Life Émile Zola (1884)

Nana Émile Zola (1880)

Zola! Zola! Zola!  All lower tier Zola novels, but interesting just the same.  In The Sin of Abbé Mouret a priest falls in love with a woman and then Zola recounts their love as if he were retelling the Garden of Eden story.  Beautiful, maddening and one of the most experimental of all his novels.  The Belly of Paris deals with what we call Farmer’s Markets.  It isn’t disgusting like Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle, but the butcher shop that is the focal point for the characters involved isn’t always a paragon of good health.  The Bright Side of Life uses the title ironically as a family takes in a ten year old who has inherited the wealth of her parents who ran the butcher shop in The Belly of Paris.  The family taking her in manage to rob her of that wealth and then blame her for allowing them to do so.  Nana is about a high class prostitute who enjoys ruining every man she meets until she meets a man who delights in abusing her.  What happens to Nana in the final pages of the novel is almost abusive on Zola’s part. 

#12

Crook Manifesto Colson Whitehead (2023)

Last year Colson Whitehead’s Harlem Shuffle made my Top Ten list.  It is a about a Harlem furniture salesman named Ray Carney, a character who introduced me to medieval sleeping and his hilarious hijinks as he struggles to be both a good citizen and a criminal.  In the second book of this trilogy, Carney is back, but this time he plans on going the straight and narrow. No more criming for Carney.  At least until a detective threatens him with serious time if he doesn’t pull off a heist for the detective to benefit from.  Another very funny novel that ultimately has some rather serious consequences for Carney.  Of course, I look forward to the final book about Ray Carney.

#13

My Last Innocent Year Daisy Alpert Florin (2023)

When Isabel Rosen has an affair with her writing professor at a prestigious college, we know the professor should know better.  What makes this interesting is that it is told from the point of view of the student having the affair and we catch glimpses that tell us she is recounting this affair in the future, which means she has processed it and weighed it out.  For better or worse, Isabel Rosen is a wise young woman. This is a remarkable debut.

#14

Day Michael Cunningham (2023)

Taking place on the same day over three consecutive years beginning in April 2019, we discover how love/ marriage is entered into for the worst reasons (loneliness, a union of two like minded people, because prospects weren’t going to improve, etc) and how that slowly ebbs away at people.  It also documents how COVID changed the world, yet never at any point in time does that word enter into the novel.  I assumed this would be a downer of a book but it is blisteringly funny…and sad.  Social media just ruins everything. 

#15

My Death Lisa Tuttle (2004)

This freaky novel takes a (fictious) legendary mistress of a (fictitious) famous painter and a (fictitious) author who wants to pen a biography of said mistress and then turns the entire situation inside out.  The mistress turns out to have been a painter herself not to mention an expert at behind the scenes manipulation.  The book’s title is the name of the outrageous painting the author discovers. Was the author really encountering serendipity when she discovered that painting by the mistress or was this all a grand scheme to trick the author?   Who is being played here: the mistress, the author or the reader?

#16

Big Day Coming: Yo La Tengo And The Rise of Indie Rock Jesse Jarnow (2012)

Once upon a time I used to read virtually every bio about bands I loved and then one day I stopped.  A massive Yo La Tengo kick lead me back to this book that I ignored back in the day.  How is it there is a trio of people who have no controversy swirling around them other than maybe occasionally one of them isn’t always the nicest of people.  Ooh.  That might describe all of us.

#17

The Hen Who Dreamed She Could Fly Sun-Mi Hwang (2000)

A hen who yearns to lay eggs yet can’t and is eventually culled but doesn’t die and then is saved by a mallard who everyone makes fun of.  Together this pair of misfit animals manage to raise a family and the cycle of life marches on.  This is a fantastic tale of dreams and familial bonds crossing species because like with humans, the one who puts in the work gets the right to be called Mom. 

#18

Address Unknown Katherine Kressmann Taylor (1938)

Written in 1938 and told in epistolary form it contains 18 letters and one telegram passed back and forth between two German men.  One of the men is Jewish and runs an art gallery in San Francisco.  His partner, not Jewish, has returned to Germany.  What happens is expected of course (through our own awareness today of what took place), but again this was written in 1938.  Anyone claiming America knew nothing about the Nazi threat during that time is a liar. 

#19

Lucy Gayheart Willa Cather (1935)

Yes, this is minor Cather.  But I was so enraptured with the titular character I fell deep into this book.  Keep in mind, I never read the backs of books, so I rarely actually know what I’m getting into. I assumed this was a minor retelling by Cather of her brilliant Song of The Lark which is about an opera singer. Lucy goes to work for an opera singer.  From that point on, nothing, and I mean nothing I believed was going to happen, happened.  How is it that I have read all of Cather and I still did not realize that in Cather’s novels anyone who falls in love is doomed. Cather hated marriage and she demonstrated that endlessly by punishing anyone in her novels who was foolish enough to fall prey to marriage.  While Lucy didn’t marry, she did fall in love and was equally punished for that fault.

#20

Justine, or The Misfortunes of Virtue The Marquis de Sade (1791)

Is it possible for a book I absolutely detested to land on this of Favorite Reads?  Well, here it is, so the answer is obviously yes.  This wasn’t a favorite read but it was so memorable that I still think about it six months after the fact.  Justine and her sister lose their parents at an early age.  Justine gives herself to God and the sister marries a wealthy man and then ensures he dies young so she can inherit his wealth.  All Justine gets is raped by every single man (and occasionally a woman) that she encounters.  De Sade was an atheist and he believed that atheists lacked a moral code which allowed them to behave as terrible as they desired.  He takes this belief and punishes poor Justine for believing in God by ensuring she is raped, beaten, tortured over and over in the most excruciating detail.  This book is punishment.  It angers me because I am an atheist and I have a moral code.  De Sade even believes that women are such a blight on humanity that they should be done away with altogether.  Okay, genius, let’s see how long humanity would last without women.  De Sade was a fool but this book stays in my head like a song that won’t go away.  The only good thing about this novel was the ending which actually made me laugh out loud.  Poor Justine, in the end, even God didn’t love her.   This was the first and the last book I’ll ever read by Citizen de Sade.

[throne-for-queens]

I can't even be serious as he's doing a song with Jelly Roll, which is funny because what name is Jelly Roll (yes I like him so don't come for me) and he brought Megan because Casie is gone and he probably feels alone. It's just a hysterical cycle anymore and one of them will end up dead...

Jelly roll is a funny name, but it fits him. I love his wife and I think he's a nice guy (though I've never met him). As for Megan and colson, all I can do is just laugh. They remind me of that one friend who will vent to you about how much she hates her partner or how bad they are, but then you see them post a pic celebrating their anniversary. The cycle won't end until someone does something irreparable, and that can mean anything to either of them. For us, there has been a multitude of things that should have made them go their separate ways, but if both parties can overlook those instances then this thing could last for years to come.

[i-think-i-did-it-again]

Detention buddies (p1)

He doesn’t even know you exist. At least that’s what you tell yourself. You hide behind your locker door as Colson turns away from his group of friends, a serious look on his face. Even if he wasn’t 6ft 4 he’d still stand out with bubblegum pink hair, excessive tattoos and handsome face. You’d been watching him for 2 years, now both in your senior year of high school.

You’d transferred from a private school when your parents split and your mum brought you back to her hometown, where there is only one high school, completely taking options out of the equation. You didn’t mind much because it wasn’t like you were the most popular girl at your last school and you weren’t here either so the adjustment wasn’t too hard. You have your small group of friends and to you, that’s all you’ve ever needed.

“You’re staring again,” your best friend Mandy whispers beside you.

“I don’t stare, I merely observe,” you mumble and turn your attention back to the contents of your locker. She’s snorts and you roll your eyes.

You pull out your supplies for English class and tell her you’ll catch up with her, during your free period, in the library. She waves a hand in your general direction and you take that as confirmation. You trudge begrudgingly to your English class.

You don’t hate English. It’s the only class that you and Colson share. The only thing that makes it a chore is that it’s also the class with the world’s dullest teacher. There’s nothing wrong with Mr Mueller as a person but god, you think he could find some way to spice up his lessons. According to your mum, he’s been there since she was a senior and his classes sucked the same then as they do now.

You find your seat in the second back row and fling your bag over the back. You pull out your worn copy of To Kill A Mockingbird and your notes from the assigned chapters you were required to read the night before. You didn’t really need to read them as you’d read the book more than a few times but you still always discovered a new layer each time you read it. Colson strolls passed you without even looking in your direction and takes his assigned seat behind you. You can tell he immediately pulls out his phone because you can hear his thumbs tapping on the screen.

“Ok, settle down people,” Mr Mueller calls from the front.

He’s a short, stocky man with a balding head and thin, round framed glasses. He’s always wearing the same brown tweed jacket and blue dress pants. He has a friendly face but he is always, always sweating. He begins roll call as your classmates find their seats. One of Mr Mueller’s big rules is assigned seating. He tried to have Colson sit at the front but given his height, no one could see over him so he had to place him at the back. You can still hear him typing away on his phone and occasionally chuckling to himself.

“Mr Baker, I’m pretending I don’t see that phone but if it doesn’t go away in the next 10 seconds, I’m confiscating it and you can retrieve it from the principal’s office after detention this afternoon,” Mr Mueller scolds as he scowls at the phone in Colson’s hands.

“Yeah well, what’s new?” Colson scoffs and you smirk slightly.

“Miss Y/L/N, I take it from that smirk on your face that you’ll be joining Mr Baker in detention?” Mr Mueller’s eyes zero in on you.

“You’re going to punish Y/N for obvious understanding of my quick wit? Seems a little harsh, even for you sir,” Colson defends you before you can even open your mouth.

You’d be thinking of some way to defend yourself if your mind wasn’t so focused on the fact that Colson knows your name. That means he knows who you are. How does he know who you are? Has sitting behind you for the last year had some sort of impact on him? Maybe you’re not as invisible as you think. You suddenly realise that everyone’s eyes are on you, waiting for some sort of response. You know that no matter what you say you’re getting detention so why not commit to the moment.

“I’m sorry sir but if you’re going to punish me for having a sense of humour, I can only assume that stems from a jealousy at your own humourless life,” you mutter, staring directly at him. You notice the way his jaw slightly flexes at your attitude.

“Well, senior year isn’t over for another 4 months so maybe 1 month of detention will prepare you two for the real world?” Mr Mueller grins and then turns his attention to lesson plan.

You shrug and slump back in your chair feeling stupid for trying to show off. A month’s worth of detention isn’t the worst punishment, it will give you time to complete homework and extra credit but you also know your mum will chew you out for getting in trouble. You feel a tap on your shoulder and you turn to see Colson holding a note out to you, a small smile playing on his lips. You take the note and turn back around.

Guess this makes us detention buddies x

The note alone was enough to make your stomach flutter but the kiss at the end, well that sent you into overdrive. A whole month with Colson? Yeah detention won’t be so bad.

Part 2

[floraltypes]

May I request and 41 and 24 with the lovely Pete Davidson? Seems like cute party behavior for two people just chilling in the corner and having that meet-cute ❤

pairing - pete davidson x reader

prompt - “sitting close and knees touching” and “whispering in their ears, lips touching the skin”

an - i changed it up slightly, with them being at a music award show, but hope you still enjoy!

Inside of the larger room, women and men were rushing in and out, four of them, carrying products and items in their hand as you sat in a chair, staring at the reflection in the mirror.

Your hair stylist, Alina, stood with a large smile besides her, hands working with care and products to make it just the way she desired. You’d already approved the style not to long ago, thanking her for her uniqueness.

Monica your makeup artist, along with Neil, were already finishing the last bits of your eye liner, making the wing perfect and highlight glisten. They were the most talkative, wether it was with each other or you, but they did. You didn’t mind, it was sweet how they felt comfortable, something you wanted all the people who worked with you to feel.

They were picked specifically for their talents, and had been working with you for years, like a second family.

“So, Miss Y/n, is the special man going to be sitting with you?” Neil glanced down at you, admiring his work and the way your facial expression changed.

“That’s not sweet, putting me on the spot!” You gasped, smile coating your lips. “But yes, Pete will be there. His friend, Colson, is a music artist.”

“So, is it the tattoos that lure you to him?” Monica peeked over, now a mischievous grin came over her own.

“He does have some fine arms,” Neil added.

“Oh my, you two!” You laughed, wanting to cover your face before Monica pulled your hands away, tsking at you.

“Don’t do that! We just finished,” She scolded as you placed your hands down, Neil coming over with some rings and bracelets for your fingers and wrists.

“Sorry,” You put on the rings and bracelets, admiring how they looked, perfectly fitting with the dress you would wear and the nails that were freshly done.

“And your hair is done as well,” Alina mentioned behind you, as now you looked at in in the mirror, filled with glee. “You truly look amazing.”

“You are all so talented!” You stood up, moving behind a curtain where the woman who worked on your outfits stood, helping you get into your dress.

Getting it zipped up, the emerald dress fitting onto your figure with style, something you spun in to admire the length and look. Always feeling so grateful with moments like these, to get dressed up just like a princess, something that reminded you of your young self. It wasn’t too long, perfect for a event like the music award show, perfect amount of flow.

Stepping out of the curtain and looking at the looks of your staff light up at the final product was heartwarming.

“Thank you all, again,” You smiled at them, giving hugs to each one before the door was open by your manager trying to usher you out of the room and into the limo to arrive to the show.

During the car ride you contacted your boyfriend, texting him with joy as you awaited the big arrival of your presence. He quickly responded, mentioning how he was already there and heading to his seat with his good friend Colson and his girlfriend Meghan.

Before you knew it, the car had stopped and door was open. A man holding his hand out for you to grab. You walked up to the area they were doing a few interviews and snapping the photos, quickly ushering you onto the carpet, flashes sounding all around as you put on a quick, and very practiced, smile.

“Y/n! Over here! May I ask you a few questions?” A reporter waved her hand, looking younger, you smiled and made your way over.

“Hello, what’s your name?”

“I’m Kairi! It’s so crazy that I’m meeting you, I’ve seen some of your movies, you’re so talented,” She complimented, bringing the microphone to her mouth, notecards clutched tightly in her other hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” You waved at another celebrity you recognized down the way, turning back to her. “You look so pretty!”

“Ah! You too!” She quickly responded, then clearing her voice, and pulling up the cards. “Are you attending this event with anyone?”

“Just myself.”

“Who are you excited to see preform?”

“I heard that Bruno Mars is preforming, he is a very talented singer I hope to watch that.”

“You’re friends with Pete Davidson, correct?”

“I am.”

“He’s close friends with Machine Gun Kelly, are you excited to see him preform?”

“Uh,” You began, tapping your chin, as a joke, before putting your full attention back onto Kairi. “I have seen him preform, privately more,” You laughed a little, a memory popping up. “I’ll be happy to see him again, but, I’ve seen him preform live before.”

“Oh! Also, on the topic of Pete Davidson. A friend, actually, wanted me to ask about your relationship with him. I apologize it’s off topic,” She had a embarrassed look on her face, almost like she wanted to hide for letting the question slip through her lips.

“We are just friends,” You responded. “I must get going Kairi, it was great meeting you. I hope I see you as a full time interviewer soon,” You grinned once more, giving a hug, and walking down to soon make it to the venue.

Quickly you were able to find your seat, a eager man in the seat right besides you with a bright smile and wide eyes, patting your seat with as much fervor as a dog wagging its tail.

“Hello,” You smiled smugly, taking your seat as he quickly leaned over, looking you right in the eyes.

“Hello, M’lady,” He leaned back, admiring your look. “Hell, you look good.”

“Thanks, you clean up decently,” You joked, laughing after as you took a sip of the water across from you. “Very cute outfit.”

“Not my choice, agent insisted I really dress up,” He rolled his eyes. “We should’ve walked in together.”

“And that would make us look like a couple even more.”

“So? What’s wrong with that,” He moved his hand a bit, hovering over your bare knee before the chair on your other side was occupied by a new guest.

“Hello, oh my!” The woman lit up, and your smile quickly was placed with a thrilled and genuine one. “Y/n, it has been too long!” Taylor beamed, leaning over to quickly smush you in a hug.

“It has! You look absolutely beautiful, wow!” You exclaimed, leaning back where you felt a pinch on your back, ignoring it, and staring at her spectacular outfit. “I miss our sleepovers.”

“We must do it soon, my cats really liked you,” She laughed, putting down her purse as you soon got into a nice chat, leaving Pete to entertain himself by chatting with his friend Colson and Colson’s girlfriend.

The host began to speak, interrupting your conversations as people came onto the stage to start presenting awards and begin the show. The first music awards were for the category of country, a type of music you didn’t frequently listen to.

Pete was laughing with his friend, soon a knee rubbing up against your own, making your glare turn downwards to see his lightly tapping against your own.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, as he turned to look at you with a small grin.

“What? I can’t touch your leg, this is subtle,” He simply spoke, taking another sip of his own drink before using his other hand to go under the table, lightly touching your knee as his still leant against it.

“You’re annoying.”

“I know,” He didn’t move his hand when he went back to his chat with Colson, leaving you to try and focus back on the performance going on, trying to enjoy the talented artist.

Later on, was the catagory that you enjoyed much more, being the pop one, where you would finally get to see Bruno preform one of his most popular songs, one you did enjoy much as well.

It was easy to tell that you were looking forward for him, being on the edge of your seat as he walked up on stage and got set up a bit, attractive look on his face as he stood in front of the microphone, beats soon starting up as the melody floated through the vicinity.

Pete couldn’t help but chuckle at how happy you were to hear him preform, finding it sort of cute how much you enjoyed the artist, but a bit annoying.

He leaned over, lips right near your ears, quickly stirring your attention from Bruno to him, as he began to speak.

“Enjoying the performance, baby?” He whispered, kissing your ear before leaning back as if nothing ever happened. You quickly turned around, sending him a glare saying ‘knock it off’ yet finding some butterflies in your belly as well.

It was odd how a man like him, could make someone like you who has done performances and such for a good amount of time, still get butterflies from a simple act. He always made your emotions being more vibrant, a advantage with being with him.

“I heard from someone you weren’t excited for my performance,” Colson looked over, laughing a bit at your surprised face, Pete and Meghan soon joining in.

“That’s not true, you can’t listen to Pete!” You quickly told him, waving your hands as he just laughed again.

“Even when he speaks about how much he likes you?” Meghan questioned, now all glares stuck on Pete.

“Huh?” Your eyes widened and you wanted to cover your face, attention was normal, but attention regarding relationships was not your favorite, preferring to not engage in much PDA.

“Not cool, not cool,” Pete just shook his head, the slightest change of color in his cheeks as Colson laughed with his girlfriend.

You put your hand on his knee now, lightly rubbing your thumb as he looked back over at you. Moving his hand to hover over yours as the performance was still going, now long forgotten about.

“I thought we couldn’t be touchy,” He mentioned.

“Maybe, just maybe, this time we can be a little touchy,” You winked, proud of the way you elicited a new look of surprise and embarrassment out of your boyfriend.

“I hate how you make me like this,” He huffed while you just chuckled a bit, smiling at the way he still placed his hand over your own, small pout on his lips. Who knew the tough and comical Pete, could be soft and serious?

(pete davidson masterlist)

[storiesforallfandoms]

talent that runs in the family ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2128

request?: yes!

“Being rooks sister and substitute him while he recovers and slowly start to fall in love with colson”

description: she steps in to replace her brother when he is seriously injured and ends up gaining feelings for his friend

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Thanks so much for doing this (Y/N),” Rook said over the phone. “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said. “But does Colson know that I’m...y’know...not a seasoned vet?”

“You’ll do fine.”

I refrained from reminding him that he didn’t actually answer my question.

After Rook’s accident left him out of commission for some time, he came to me to ask if I’d fill in for him. I jumped at the opportunity. Rook had taught me how to drum when I was young and, much like my big brother, it became a passion of mine. How could I turn down working with one of the biggest artists of the year, even if it were just for a short while?

Well, my nerves were definitely telling me I should’ve said no as I walked into soundcheck that day.

“Whatever,” I said. “I’ll call you after the soundcheck.”

“Hey, don’t be nervous. You’re gonna do great.”

I said my goodbyes and hung up. I tried not to focus on how big the venue we were playing in was as I made my way to the otherwise empty stage. I thought I was the first person to arrive until I heard someone calling my name.

“(Y/N), up here!”

I looked up to see the guys sat in a booth in the balcony. Colson was all but leaning over the railing, waving for me to join them. I had no idea how to get up there on my own, but luckily a security guard showed me the way.

The guys were eating pizza and drinking from plastic cups as if they were the ones attending the concert and not performing in it.

“Pre-show ritual,” Colson told me. “Especially when we have someone new joining the band. Sit! Have a slice!”

“Shouldn’t we be practicing?” I asked, but still sat with them. I didn’t want to completely mess up my first day.

“We have hours to practice,” one of the other guys I remembered as Slim said. “And we don’t really need to. We do this every night. A soundcheck is basically just to make sure everything is working tech wise.”

I just nodded, not wanting to point out that I hadn’t been doing this every night. I hoped that I’d have some time to figure out the songs before the shows.

Colson nudged me, bringing my attention to him. “Don’t stress. You’ll do great.”

I smiled at him, wishing I’d believe him.

After our small feast of pizza and beer in plastic glasses, we finally got to our soundcheck. I was so nervous that I kept messing up during the first song. My hands were shaking and I kept hitting the wrong drum by accident. My face was burning with embarrassment as I buried it in my hands and groaned.

Colson walked up to me, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I can get this, I know I can.”

“I know you can, too,” he said. “Just take a breath, relax. We’ll try again when you’re ready. And remember, it’s just drumming. Rook says you’re great at it.”

I smiled at him and nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pictured myself back in my bedroom from my childhood, playing my drums super loud until my parents had to call out for me to keep it down.

When we started practicing again, it went off without a hitch. We did most of the setlist all the way through and did quick takes on the last few songs before our time was up.

I was proud of myself as the soundcheck came to an end. I was still nervous about performing during the actual show, but I felt confident enough in myself not to make too many noticeable mistakes when we actually had an audience that night.

I was walking to my car when I heard someone calling for me. I turned to see Colson running to catch up with me. Or rather he was taking long strides to catch up with me considering he was so tall.

“I told you you would do great!” he said, putting an arm around my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. “It’s like drumming runs in your blood or something.”

I chuckled. “That’s what mom and dad always said too, but neither one of them can keep a beat to save their lives and no one else in our immediate family plays either.”

“You and Rook are the start of a long line of drummers then I guess.”

I shrugged in response. We both stood awkwardly for a moment. I wasn’t sure what else to say. His arm was still around my shoulder and I didn’t want to pull away and make it seem like I didn’t enjoy the contact because I definitely was not complaining about it.

I guess Colson also realized that he was still touching me, though, because he pulled his arm away and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you need a run to the hotel or anything?” he asked. “We have the tour bus.”

I shook my head. “I’m good, thanks. I have my car, and besides I haven’t even checked into the hotel yet so I should probably go do that.”

“Oh, yeah you definitely should. Get some rest before the show, too. It’s a lot more physically demanding when it’s an actual show, even if you’re just sitting at a drum set the entire time. I’ll see you tonight then I guess.” He turned to walk away, but paused and turned back to add, “What were you planning on wearing tonight?”

I looked at him, confused. “Uh...this I guess.”

I was wearing a hoodie and a pair baggy jeans and my most comfortable pair of sneakers.

Colson raised an eyebrow at my outfit before looking back up at me. “I mean, it’s definitely comfy, but I would recommend something a little less...well, just less. It’s going to be hot as fuck on that stage, especially with all the lights on you and shit.”

I nodded, taking note of this as I got into my car and internally panicked a little because I didn’t know if I even had anything to wear.

~~~~~~

A few hours later, after checking into my hotel room and promptly wrecking it by throwing my clothes everywhere, I was heading back down to the lobby to meet up with the guys. We were going to the show together, which would’ve been my first tour bus ride. I couldn’t lie, I was super stoked for it.

I was the last one to the lobby. All the guys were stood around, loudly talking to one another. You’d think they were just a normal group of guys and not a group about to play a sold out show in a massive arena.

Colson spotted me first. I smiled at waved at him. His eyes widened and his jaw basically dropped, which prompted all the guys to turn. Their reactions immediately matched his as they looked me up and down.

“Rook would kill you guys if he could see you right now,” I teased.

“Damn (Y/N),” Colson dared to say first. “You look...you look hot as fuck.”

I had decided on a loose muscle shirt with a bralette underneath since the shirt showed a little more than what I was used to, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and kept on the comfortable sneakers I had been wearing earlier that day.

I giggled. “Thanks, but again, Rook would kill you for saying that. Also, it’s not anything super attractive.”

“You got a nice body,” Baze pointed out. “Anything showing it off even a little is hot.”

I could feel my face burning as I waved their comments away. “Okay, enough with this. We have a show to get to.”

We boarded the tour bus and started towards the arena. The guys were distracted amongst one another again, completely forgetting about me and my “hot outfit”. Besides Colson, who had come to sit next to me on the couch while the rest of the guys were already drinking whatever was in the mini fridge.

“Do you guys always get drunk before your shows?” I asked.

“Not always. Usually we get high,” Colson responded.

“Now that I can get behind. I’ll probably be less afraid if I’m high.”

Colson held out the joint in his hand to me. I took it and took a quick puff, the smoke immediately burning my throat and lungs as I tried to inhale it. Colson laughed as I started to cough.

“I still say you have nothing to worry about,” he told me. “You’re gonna do great tonight. You can’t even really see or hear the audience with all the lights and the inner ear pieces.”

“That’s even worse cause then I’ll just imagine how big the audience is.”

He put a hand on my leg, something I assume was just instinct for him to do to comfort someone, but the minute he made the contact I felt a jolt of electricity run through me. Colson quickly pulled his hand away and I wondered if he had felt that too.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking,” he said.

“You can if you want,” I assured him. “I wasn’t mad about it or anything.”

Colson looked at me and I realized how blue his eyes were. Rook had always made jokes about how Colson could seduce any woman with just his eyes because they were such baby blues, but I didn’t really believe him until the moment I was looking in them myself. Now I was lost, completely forgetting everyone around me as I felt myself moving closer towards him.

The bus jerked to a stop, causing Colson and I to nearly be thrown from our seats. The guys started off the bus first, running towards the entrance to the arena as I could hear the waiting fans screaming outside.

Colson stood and offered a hand to me. “It’s showtime.”

~~~~~~

After the first song went perfectly, I stopped feeling nervous. Colson was right, I couldn’t see the audience in front of me, but I could faintly hear their screams of excitement over my inner ear piece. It was weird to have it in and not only hear all of us playing, but also the crew talking backstage. It was almost distracting, but it became easy to tune them out.

During one of Colson’s talking points in the show, I reached for my water bottle to take a sip. Colson was hyping the audience up, which made me smile a little.

“Before we continue the show,” he said into his mic, “you guys may have noticed that we do not have our regular drummer tonight.”

I immediately knew what he was about to do and I wanted to hurtle my drumstick at him before he went there.

“As you’ve probably heard, Rook was in a bit of an accident and is off recovering for the time being,” he continued. “So, we decided to get some family to fill in for him for the time being. Everyone, I want to hear y’all make some noise for Rook’s little sister, (Y/N)!”

The crowd cheered loudly. Colson turned to me and waved for me to stand. I glared at him, which I hoped he could see, before standing and awkwardly smiling and waving at the audience.

“All the cool drum shit you guys have been hearing all night has been (Y/N),” Colson said as he started to approach me. “She’s a bad ass fucking drummer, and she’s a pretty fucking cool chick, too.”

I was confused where he was going with this as he came to stand next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulder the way he had earlier that day after soundcheck.

“Which is why, (Y/N), I gotta ask: will you go on a date with me sometime?”

Slight embarrassment was swelling somewhere inside of me at being asked out in such a public way, but that embarrassment was overshadowed by the fuzzy feeling of excitement inside of me. I looked up at Colson, my eyes wide and a smile on my lips.

 He lowered the mic so he could privately add, “I’m being serious. I wanna take you out on a real date. Just the two of us.”

My words were stuck in my throat, but I was able to nod in response. The smile on Colson’s face stretched so wide that I could’ve been convinced he was the one lighting the show.

“Okay,” he said, then lifted the mic to say to his audience, “Let’s get back to the show guys!”

[hollywoodxwhore]

lonely

Colson x Reader

Content Warnings/Tags: mention of mental illness, fluff

Words: 1991

Requested? Yes!

In which Colson is a professional cuddler and you're lonely on your birthday.

You stared at the card for so long that your vision blurred slightly. Shaking your head and blinking a few times, you focused once again on the little business card in your hand. 

Professional Cuddlers. Rates vary. Call the number on the back of this card for inquiries.

You sighed and chewed your lip. Were you really going to do this? Were you really so desperate for comfort that you were going to pay someone to cuddle you? It felt so pathetic but at the same time, you almost felt like you had no choice.

Tomorrow was your birthday and you were alone. Completely and totally alone. Your break up from months ago had left you broken and still recovering. All of your friends were busy and you weren’t close enough with your family to spend your birthday with them. Honestly, you were worried about what you would do if you were left alone all day. The last thing you needed was to slip back into old habits, responses to the weight of your depression. 

Your friend had given you the business card a few weeks ago when you met for dinner. “Seriously,” she’d said, holding the card out to you, “don’t be alone on your birthday. You know I’d be there if I could.”

“Doesn’t this seem a little…desperate?” you’d asked.

Your friend had shrugged. “There’s a market for anything, Y/N. Physical touch is a form of therapy.” You weren’t sure that was true, but the thought of simply being held was a nice one. “Give it a try. If you hate it, just leave.”

So here you sat, thumbing the number into your phone with red cheeks. You drew in a steady breath as the line began to ring. “Comfort Cuddlers LLC,” a cheerful voice answered.

“Um, yes, hi,” you greeted nervously. “I was just calling with a couple of questions about your, uh, services.”

“Of course! Ask away,” the woman on the other end of the line chirped. 

“How does it work, exactly?” you asked.

“Well,” she started, “you answer some questions about preferences. You fill out a waiver online. And then you come to our office to meet your Cuddler.”

“Okay,” you said, nodding. “How long is the wait list?”

“It really depends on your preferences,” she explained. “Are you interested in filling out a preference inventory? No pressure to book a session!”

“Um, sure,” you answered.

The lady asked you some questions about gender preferences, things you were and weren’t comfortable with, whether you’d prefer to talk or have a silent session, and more. She was so kind and nonjudgmental that by the end of it, you were nearly convinced. You had one more question.

“Do you have anyone available tomorrow? It’s…it’s my birthday tomorrow and-” you swallowed the lump in your throat. You weren’t sure why you even felt the need to share this with the lady. “I just…”

“Don’t want to be alone,” she answered for you, and her voice held such kindness that your eyes filled with tears. “Yes, we have someone available tomorrow.”

“I’ll take it,” you sniffed. 

“Great. I’ll send you the waiver and a confirmation of your appointment. Just arrive at the office five minutes prior to your appointment tomorrow,” she explained. You gave her your name and number, and immediately, your phone pinged with the confirmation text. 

“Thank you for all your help,” you said gratefully. 

“Of course, sweetheart. Happy birthday.”

The next day, you dressed comfortably in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, making sure you smelled okay. You were sure these people had cuddled people in all states of hygiene, but you wanted to be courteous. You grabbed your purse and headed to the office. 

You walked inside and were greeted by soft music playing over the speakers. The office was cozy with lots of plants in the waiting room, and a little water fountain trickling peacefully. You checked in with the receptionist, confirming that you’d completed your waiver. 

“You’ll be with Colson today,” she said with a warm smile. “He will be out in just a moment.”

You thanked her and sat in a cushy chair, fiddling with your fingers. You were nervous. These people made money off this, but were you being judged? Did Colson find it weird that people paid to be cuddled? Your insecurities were so big that you almost got up to leave, but it was then that the door opened. A tall, blonde man stepped out. He smiled at you and you were immediately struck by how attractive he was. 

He wore a long-sleeve t-shirt and sweatpants, but the sleeves were rolled up, revealing arms covered in tattoos. He had hoops in his nose and jewelry all up and down his ears. Blue eyes and a kind smile greeted you and drew you in. Despite how gorgeous he was, there was something comforting about him. 

“Y/N?” he greeted. You nodded and got to your feet, grabbing your purse. “I’m Colson. Come on back,” he said, leading the way. “We’ll be right in here.” He gestured inside a room where the lights were low. Soft music continued to play and it smelled amazing. A huge, pallet-like bed lay on the ground with soft blankets and sheets. It looked so inviting. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Colson asked. 

“That’s okay,” you said quietly, setting your purse on a chair. 

“Let me know if you change your mind,” Colson said. He sat on the pallet and held out a hand. “Ready to get started?”

You swallowed hard and eyed his hand nervously. “Hey.” His voice was soft, comforting. “Don’t be nervous. This is all about you. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” His blue eyes held yours and you tried to relax.

You nodded and took his hand, feeling the warmth of his palm transfer to your chilly fingers. Gently, he pulled you onto the pallet. “Typically we start with spooning so you can get comfortable,” he said. You nodded again and lay on your side. “Is it okay if I touch you?” he asked. 

“Yes,” you said quietly. You closed your eyes against the threat of tears as Colson curled his warm, tall body around you. His chest pressed to your back, one of his arms slipped beneath your neck, and the other draped over your waist to pull you closer. It felt so good to be held, to be pressed against someone warm and solid. It was amazing how quickly Colson’s presence comforted you while at the same time, drawing an emotional release. You were ashamed to realize you were crying.

“Shhh,” Colson soothed. “You’re not alone.”

“I’m sorry,” you squeaked as you reached up to cover your face. Your body trembled against his. 

“Hey, don’t be,” Colson murmured. “This is so much more common than you think.” After a moment, he asked. “Do you want to roll over?” You didn’t answer. Instead, you just did it. You were shocked at how easy it felt to turn over and wrap your arms around this stranger, resting your head on his chest. One of his hands cupped the back of your head and the other slid up your forearm, holding you to him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

You bit your lip as more tears streamed down your cheeks, wetting his t-shirt. “Shit,” you sniffled, trying to pull your head away.

“Hey,” he said, gently guiding your head back to his chest. “You don’t need to worry about that, okay?”

“It’s my birthday,” you blurted.

“Happy birthday,” Colson said quietly. 

“And I’m paying for someone to cuddle me because that’s how alone I am,” you finished. 

Colson nodded. “I get it. It can be intimidating to seek help,” he replied. You couldn’t have agreed more. It was intimidating. 

“How did you get into this?” you asked, desperate for the conversation to shift away from yourself.

Colson chuckled softly, his chest rumbling against your cheek. “I actually found this as a client,” he confessed.

You lifted your head to look up at him. “Really?” you asked, surprised.

Colson nodded. “Ironically enough, I was also alone on my birthday.” He smiled softly. “So I know how you feel. Trust me, I was terrified and ashamed but desperate, you know?”

“Exactly,” you replied, feeling a million times more comfortable knowing Colson had utilized this service, too. “It makes me feel pathetic.”

“You’re not,” Colson said. “It took me a while to accept that. It’s like therapy, really, for some people. Therapy’s become a lot less taboo but professional cuddling still is.”

“I can imagine you might get some gross people,” you said.

Colson shrugged. “We have waivers and a no nonsense policy. We kick people out if they’re weird or break the rules,” he explained. 

“Gotcha,” you said quietly. Lying there with Colson, talking with him and being held, it was comforting you. For the first time in weeks, you didn’t feel miserable. It was such a relief that you were suddenly exhausted. You stifled a yawn. “Does anyone ever fall asleep?” you asked.

Colson chuckled. “All the time,” he said. “We get lots of tears, too.”

“It’s an emotional release,” you replied, and Colson nodded. 

“So,” he said, “do you want to talk about why you’re alone on your birthday?”

You sighed quietly. “My boyfriend of two years broke up with me. It was months ago, but it’s been really hard,” you confessed, throat tightening. Colson gently rubbed your back, listening intently. “All of my friends are really busy and I feel bad talking to them about things. I’m not close with my family. I’ve struggled with depression for a while, too, so it just wasn’t a good idea to be alone.”

Colson nodded. “That makes sense. I’m glad you came here.”

You smiled and closed your eyes, nuzzling in. “Me too.”

The two of you talked the entire rest of your session. He talked about his life, sharing that he had a daughter and that he wasn’t close with his family, either. You liked talking to Colson. By the end of the session, you had laughed far more than you’d cried. You were disappointed when a chime announced that time was up. 

Neither of you made a move to get up. “That went by fast,” you remarked.

“Yeah. It did,” Colson agreed.

“I’m really comfy,” you admitted.

Colson laughed. “Yeah. Me too. You should look into professional cuddling. You’re good at it.”

You felt a flush of affection and bit back a smile. “Well, you should be promoted,” you said, and the two of you laughed. 

Reluctantly, you pulled away and sat up. Colson sat up, too, and he wrung his fingers. He looked like he had something to say but was nervous to say it.

“Are you okay?” you asked, turning to face him.

Colson smiled sheepishly. “I was thinking about doing something totally inappropriate and unprofessional,” he admitted. You raised a brow. “I was thinking of asking if you wanted to get dinner tonight. So you wouldn’t have to spend your birthday alone.”

Pleasantly surprised, you lifted your hand to cover the wide smile threatening to take over your face. “Don’t do it because you feel obligated,” you said.

Colson shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that,” he said. “I wouldn’t risk my job just to be nice.”

You studied him for a second. The thought of having dinner with him, continuing your conversation, sounded a lot better than spending the rest of your birthday alone. “I would love that,” you said, and Colson smiled widely. 

“Awesome.” He got to his feet. He really towered over you. 

You looked up at him. “Thanks again,” you said. “This, uh, really helped.”

Colson smiled softly and wrapped you in a hug. “Of course.” His arms felt like the safest place you’d ever been, and you found yourself so grateful that you’d taken a risk and called the number.