#does becoming a robot change ones sense of gender?

[braintapes]

trying to find some images of simon for art reference and one of the first results that pops up is an image used for him in lgbt characters archive. which is a little funny to me because like....i GUESS? TECHNICALLY?

i do love the idea that simon has some gender stuff going on but because there is already SO MUCH happening in soma he doesn’t have the time or the brainpower to think/comment on it.��

like...like he’s essentially a software copy of some dude from toronto haphazardly jammed into the cybernetics of a long dead corpse trapped in a diving suit who also happened to be a woman but. like the ‘long dead corpse-jacking’ is already by itself SO MUCH. TOO MUCH. and iirc (though i could be misremembering) his reaction to finding out about imogen is just like “oh. huh okay.” and then he immediately moves on. presumably either to prevent himself from having some kind of breakdown about it or because he Can’t process it all.

and then that happens a SECOND time.

[scorching-earth]

Lobotomy Corporation characters as Different Yuu’s

Before we start I would like to tell you spoilers for Twisted wonderland and Lobotomy corporation, as well as most of projects moon’s world as a whole. As long as you are ok with these series being spoiled

I will try using gender neutral terms. EXCEPT for the Tiphereths, since the two are already confusing enough.

TW: self deprecating thoughts, self harm, subsistence abuse, manipulation, body horror, suicide.

Some i bits about this crossover before we start:

Yuu never Overblots but does end up doing something similar. They “meltdown”. What this means is Yuu ends up going through an emotional breakdown, Just like an overblot dose. Yet instead of blot being both a cause and result of the breakdown. Yuu’s goals become the center of their being. It makes them “meltdown”. To summarize though Yuu basically overblots without the blot. For the sake of twisted wonderland, and to not have the most body horror possible. “Meltdowns” forma around a person's body. Overblot seeps into a person’s body. Also all the Sephirah are part corpse, part robot to make it easier for twist. As well as more horrifying.

For twisted wonderland nothing really has changed other than instead of the normal magic-less Yuu we have a dystopian half robot.

Malkuth\Elijah Yuu:

“Everyone get down!” “We can do this!” “don't be a burden.” “Please watch me everyone! I can take care of this situation, no problem!”

Yuu was not particularly good at anything yet was very determined to get stuff done. Even though they are very forgetful. Yuu always holds a notebook that seems seconds from falling apart. That has all the things they have to do. (i.e. in book two Yuu would have “investigate the actstudents students have been getting.” would be written down.)

Yuu tends to get themself into situations that they can't handle all by themself. They would jump into overbot fights head first. Confronting the house wardens all by themself. Yuu always has to be dragged out of these situations by other people.

Yuu’s second character flaw is that they trust that anyone, but themself can do anything they put their mind to. Witch is good for others but it can hurt Yuu’s own willingness to jump into a situton.

Yuu wants to be useful more than anything. It’s why they go into things head first. It’s why, when people call them a burden for not having magic it hurts so much. At least in L corp it was because of their own flaws. Yet now in twisted wonderland it’s because of something they can't change. This flaw is the one that causes yuu to have a “meltdown”.

“This is what you call a truly uncontrollable situation.” Everything is a mess. Yuu’s notebook is torn in the tangle of their vines. “Make sure you feel this horrible sense of helplessness to your core, right to your heart.” ah yes Yuu’s desire to show everyone they can handle a situation on their own. It only scares everyone. “Please watch me everyone! I can take care of this situation, no problem!” Yuu ignores that this situation is caused by them so there's no way that can help. This is also when it is revealed that Yuu sees people as expendable. Yuu’s meltdown must be overcome by showing Yuu that they are not useless. Whether it’s everyone saying how much they need Yuu (the less likely option), or it’s showing Yuu that they just kicked everyone's asses. Yuu in their meltdown form has the ability to disorient and “change” actions (trying to move your left foot wound ends in you moving your right arm.) 

After Yuu's meltdown, and that Yuu’s second flaw was an act to hide her dismissal of others' well-being. The worst part of it all is Yuu is not that good at anything in particular. Relationships are strained, and words are thrown. Yet Yuu realize it’s ok to rely on others, and that it’s ok to not be good at everything.

Gabral/Yesod:

“*sigh* Your uniform is disorderly.” “how I’m dressed, that is nothing for you to worry about.” “You all are irritating.” “Hey, don't rush in head first!” “Do you not see my marred, rotting flesh, covered in boils and oozing with pus?!” 

Yuu is a bit cold. Seeing things ratonaly most of the time. They tend to disregard other feelings without knowing it. These traits make them a very efficient worker, with the downside of being a bit disconnected from other people. 

Yuu likes order in their life. Messy uniforms, un-stacked books, Paper strewn across the floors. These are the stuff of Yuu’s nightmares. Yuu likes a tidy work environment. You know that moment in twisted wonderland where Riddle fixed Yuu’s tie. Yuu fixes everyone's ties all the time.

Yuu does care about his friends. He cares about their safety. He may not show it all the time, but Ace and Deuce mean a lot to yuu. Yuu’s just stressed most of the time. Ace and Deuce help Yuu calm down. The two help Yuu have fun in this new stressful world.

The way Yuu dresses is odd. They cover their entire body with the exception of their head. You see, Yuu is a germaphobe. Yuu fears chemical spills most of all. Potions is Yuu’s least favorite subject, not because Yuu’s bad at Potions. It’s because of all the ingredients and chemicals. Yet this is not all. You see Yuu suffers form hallucinations. They think their boys are covered in boils and their flesh is rotting whenever they look at their bare skin. They know this is fake, that they are just hallucinations. Yet Yuu is still affected seeing their skin like that.

Yuu scratches at any part of their body that is exposed. So it’s not uncommon to see red marks on Yuu’s face. Vil has tried so many times to get Yuu to stop this habit, but the route of this problem lies in Yuu’s germaphobia. After a while Vil gave up on his endeavor. 

Yuu’s meltdown is activated when he is pushed to his limit. Whether it’s the stress of the new world getting to him, or someone spills something dangerous on him, increasing his own stress. Yuu goes from adverse to being touched, to “Get the hell away from me!” (bonus points if it’s blot that gets spilt on him.)

“Did you not see my marred, rotting flesh, covered in boils and oozing with pus?” Yuu’s body becomes a mass of rotting flesh with the black fabric he wears branching upwards is just utterly revolting to look at. “This impenetrable darkness is inexplicably lonely.” Yes, Yuu is alone, utterly and inexplicably alone. On the other hand if this is caused by the stress Crowley puts on Yuu “you are unfit to be the head master if you cannot even remember the simplest rules.”. The way to fix this is to pull Yuu out of his gross rotting body. This in turn pulls Yuu out of his emotional breakdown. The thing that inhibits people from accomplishing these tasks. Everyone's sight is altered. Static fills their sight, and everything becomes more saturated. It makes Yuu’s meltdown even more gross.

Yuu comes clean about the fact that not only is there germophobia from their past life. They also say that the reason for that is because of a horrible inhuman thing that happened to one of his friends. Admitting that he needs more time for himself. Still he tells Crowley off and asking for proper payment for all teh work they did.

Michelle/Hod:

“I want to help you!” “Come on, I know you can do this!” “you got this in the bag!” “WHY DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND MY KINDNESS!”

Yuu is helpful or at least they try to be. Yuu wants everyone to be happy. If anyone needs help they are the first person to ask. Yuu does often get taken advantage of because of this. That doesn't mean that Yuu is a pushover though. Yuu helps because they want to help.

Yuu can be a bit overbearing sometimes. Often asking people if they are ok. They want everyone to get better. Especially those who had overbloted. letting everyone get their troubles and worries off their chest. Yuu wanted everyone to be ok

Yuu can be overly positive. “At least it’s not that bad.” “look on the bright side.” are things said often by Yuu. Yuu is also extremely optimistic. Looking on the bright side of every situation. Yuu also tries their best to get people to open up. Or trys to see the good in everyone. (TLDR: you thought that Kalim was optimistic? Welcome Yuu who refuses to see bad in people.)

Yuu has been described as delusional by many students. Most students at Night Raven College are all self serving. Yuu on the other other hand, people question if Yuu lived in a paradise before (oh you poor fools). Just where does all that kindness come from?

Yuu is a perfect example of toxic positivity. Yuu pushes all of their suspicions and dark thoughts back. Yet too many people start complaining about Yuu pulling the wool over their own eyes. As they did with Kalim. Yuu has there meltdown, because Yuu also don't think they are nice. Yuu thinks all their kindness is a facade.

“It’s all thanks to me that everyone could survive so long, but does anyone ever thank me? No, no one does…” Yuu reveals their true nature. “you all are suffering! See? Things just don’t work out without me here!” a pitiful nature indeed. “You all would be dead where you stand without me! Every single one of you!” yet all true comments. “You all are scum! How could you do this to me!” Yuu throws all of the thoughts they kept secret. All of what they wanted to say. The only way to stop this Yuu is to try to survive as long as possible. Eventually Yuu will tire themselves out. you can try to pull them out of there Melt down then. Not to say it would be easy since this meltdown makes everyone weaker in all aspects, including magic. 

After they melt down Yuu realizes that they have some unresolved issues with their past. While coming to terms with their feelings. Yuu dose end up showing a more genuine form a kindness since most of their kind action are because of something they did to hurt a lot of people in the past

Giovanni/Netzach:

“What's the point?” “I don't care, what does that have to do with me?” “I’ll get it done… eventually.” “All I want is to close my eyes and enjoy a good nap, just once.”

 Yuu is Lazy! So lazy in fact that it’s no longer procrastination, it's just not doing the work. The only time Crowley can get Yuu to do something he needs to get them… you know what Crowley pleads the fifth. Let's just say Crowley gave Yuu proper “motivation”. No it was not Crowley’s idea. Yet they work well with motivation.

If the need for motivation was not proof enough. Yuu is highly unmotivated to do anything. It’s a struggle to get out of bed for Yuu since Yuu has not motivation to get up. Yes, Yuu is depressed. There's nothing Yuu can change so why bother? Yuu doesn't even realize all of the good he’s done to help others.

Yuu is sleeping all the time. Yet not in random spots like silver, or in carefully chosen ones like Leona. Yuu sleeps in class, offices, or just forgoes school altogether to just sleep in the dorm all day. Sometimes students have betting pools for how long Yuu will stay in Ramshackle dorm.

Yuu seems off? Whether it’s the way they always stumble, or the brutal honesty they give. It’s almost like Yuu isn't themself. That is because Yuu is either high, or drunk. This is actually most of the time when they are awake. Why suffer sober when you can suffer while drunk, at least you have an excuse to be miserable.

The way Yuu ends up having their meltdown is simple. The other students find out they have been drinking, and doing drugs. This is not someone connecting dots in the hallway as well. The students checked up on Yuu after they hadn't been to class for the past week. Only to see Yuu laying in their own vomit glossy eyed. When seeing the other students panic form them Yuu attempts to kill themself after the students freak out. Only to fail since Yuu needs permission to die from a person in their world.

This meltdown is the manifestation of Yuu’s desire to die. “Why must I wake up and do all the garbage I hate every single day?” Yes there is no point to keep on living, and if the students of NRC dont think fast Yuu’s melt down will kill Yuu even without permission. “Why do you want to continue prolonging these undesired lives? What’d you expect to see at the end of all this?” oh Yuu is aware of the fact they are not the only one in NRC who has these feelings as well. “I never wanted to be in this position anyways. I never asked for this. Not once.” Yuu never wanted to even help anyone so why do they care so much if they destroy themselves? The only way to help Yuu is to try to snap then out of there melt down. Whether it’s trying to break there hard as a rock shell, or trying to reason with Yuu. Yet that's difficult when Yuu’s effect is to intoxicate everyone around them. With the extra that no one can heal with magic as well.

Yuu they come to a realization that can't die without the manager's permission Yuu. So Yuu decided if they cant die, why not just try to live for a bit? Why not have hope for the future.

Lesa & Enoch/Tiphereth

“What makes a person a person?/Yuu! You know thinking like that will get us no were!” “hey Idia can you fix me?/ WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!” “We are two, but one. Do you know what this means?”

Ok so there are two Yuus. Enoch is Yuu1 Lesa id Yuu2. I will be using He/HIm pronouns for Yuu1, and she/her for Yuu2. This is how they will be referred to from now on. As stated before there are two yuu they look almost identical if only that Yuu 1 has short hair, while Yuu2 has long hair. Both are “Yuu” and both will answer to “Yuu”. This gets very confusing as well because the two spend all of their time together. The two also look like kids about 12 years of age

Yuu1 is the more unstable of the two. He often thinks about why he exists and what it means. Before Yuu1 would be “reset”. Yet Yuu1 one is the nicer of the two Yuu’s he’s ok to be around as long as you're ok with Yuu1’s existential crisis. He is the more popular of the two. people just like Yuu1 more than Yuu2. 

Yuu2 is the one of the two who actually gets things done. Yuu2 has decent grades, and is the one who quells the overblots. As such Yuu2 has more friends than Yuu1. Yuu2 is a bit bratty, but extremely efficient. Yuu2 actually relies on Yuu1 for mental support as well. Most of the cast of twisted wonderland likes Yuu2 more than Yuu1. even though Yuu1 is the more popular of the two.

Yuu1 went to Idia to be fixed or “reset”. Only for Idia to realize that Yuu1 is in fact a robot. Yet when Idia does find a way to open Yuu1 he is horrified to see Yuu1 isn't just a robot he’s part robot. Idia faints right then and there. After Yuu isn't fixed and Idia locks himself in his own room because of what he saw. Yuu1 then out of instability, his past memories, and guilt. Meltdown with Yuu two since she relies on Yuu1 on for support

“This song, Tiphereth’s dirge, it’s for him… Tiphereth.” Yuu2 melting down over Yuu1 being the base of the two’s meltdown. “When he returns, could you show Tiphereth how I’ve grown? Will you show him how strong I am now…?” Yuu2 the best way to describe how they're acting is Delusional. “Don’t stand there looking at me like that, with your forlorn smile. I’ve already abandoned you…” Yuu2 has abandoned all of her friends. Hating Idia the most. Since Idia was the person that made Yuu1 kill himself. The way to save Yuu is to get close enough to Yuu2 and tell her everything will be ok. That Yuu1 is in a better place. Yet the thing preventing anyone from getting close to Yuu2. is that Yuu2 has two metal arms and she’s swinging them haphazardly, and that everyone is weaker then normal.

After the meltdown Yuu now only consists of Yuu2. Yuu comes to terms that Yuu1 wanted to die. So Yuu lets go of her hostility towards Idia. Yuu then grows closer to everyone. 

Kali/Gebura

“Eh what is it?” “I got this stay behind me.” “You know nothing about me.” “Do you really think feeble cowards like you can stop me?”

Yuu is strong so strong in fact Yuu takes care of all the overblots alone. Many students look up to Yuu. so much so that Yuu has a fan club. Yuu’s also received a few confessions, Yuu did in fact turn all of these down.

Yuu is very aggressive. Any threat is swiftly taken care of. Any funny looks given, Yuu would give a good punch in return. Overbolts are beatton with extreme prejudice. Anyone who doesn't share Yuu’s views receives harsh words. 

Yuu has always been mysterious. Any questions about their worlds would be pushed off. Yuu is also extremely scary due to her extremely hostile attitude. Which causes Yuu to be very socially distant.

Yuu’s meltdown happens right after Malleus’s overblot. Yuu realizes that this school is flawed. That these “rare” overblots are just going to keep happening at this school. That this school will never help people change. That there was no character development. That everyone will stay as scum. These revelations give Yuu the excuse they needed to destroy this school.

“I’m back; the Red Mist has walked out from a sea of pain. I’m no longer weak like I used to be; I can replace any body part even if it gets cut off, and I can be repaired even if I’m broken.” Yuu spoke with no concern for others, the only thing left is to destroy the school.. “Hatred is a poison that eviscerates me, and yet it makes me open my eyes once more.” Yuu can not be resonated with. “Some things just wouldn’t cool down, no matter how long they were left in the cold.” Yuu can only be described in that moment as a monster of pure rage. Yet pure rage is messy, the only way to beat Yuu is to beat Yuu in combat. You are wondering what power this Yuu has? Right Yuu’s power is being extremely powerful.

Yet somehow the students of NRC did it. They stopped Yuu. Yuu gained the memories of a past life they had forgotten. One of The Red Mist. The Red Mist was a hero of the downtrodden. Yuu becomes more compassionate after there melt down. They smile more and start helping with the little things whether it’s dragging Ace and Deuce out of trouble, or helping clean the classroom Yuu is now happy to help.

Daniel/Chesed

“Hm, you need help with school work? Sure I’ll help.” “Everyone stay calm, we can get through this.” “Would you like a cup of coffee?” “I envy you all, you can conveniently forget your moments most filled with shame.” 

Yuu is a calm and collected individual. Who can stay focused in any situation. An overbolt is happening? Yuu calmly gives out orders. Each order is calculated to keep both sides safe in this conflict. No one will get hurt under Yuu’s Guidance. 

Yuu is a very smart individual excelling in all classes. It’s a shame such a bright student doesn't have any magic. Yuu could have been a really powerful mage had they been born with magic. Even still Yuu offers to tutor other students. A student who was failing last week is now a straight A student.

Yet amidst all of this, all the good traits Yuu has. Yuu is at their core a coward. Don't get me wrong, they're still willing to fight the overblot’s. It’s just Yuu will fight them from a safe distance. Yuu wouldn't even have gotten themselves in this situation had it not been for Crowley threatening, bribing, and manipulating Yuu into doing these things.

When Yuu melts down it’s calmer then others, Yuu is tired. Tired of being used and forced to do things against their will. Yuu decides that this will be their little rebellion. Yuu decided to give Crowley a little taste of helplessness. 

“My my, I’m feeling very moody today~” Yuu is very aware of what they are doing. This isn't such they chose not to be reasoned with. After all, what is rebellon with without a will to back it up? “Pour that lukewarm coffee down the drain, I’ll need another cup.” this is the very same Yuu who’s been the pivotal factor in all of the overblot fights, and now that intelligence is against everyone. “Each time Crowley shows up, I shall commit sin according to his orders… And I see no fig leaf here to cover my shame.” this was it all of Yuu’s anger was targeted to Crowley, just them and the rain. So it stands to reason the way to stop Yuu’s meltdown is to make Crowley regret all his actions. Yuu’s ability is to induce mental stress in a person, a very dangerous power since it can cause an overblot. 

After Crowley finally came clean about everything he’s done to Yuu. every single student loses their trust in Crowley. The only student to reach a hand out to Crowley. “I know what you're feeling. Come with me Crowley let us both go on this journey to become one of Those who are faithful and trustworthy.” Yuu said a coffee cup in their other hand.

Garion/Binah:

“What is it now?” “Would you like to have tea with me?” “ah the sound of agony. Such a beautiful sound.” “Ah, this brings me back to my senses.”

Yuu is a very quiet person, only talking when necessary. Yet Yuu speaks quite eloquently. When asked about themself Yuu turns the question around. After the other person answers Yuu nods and walks away. So practically nothing is known about them.

Yuu doesn't resort to violence often, but when they do… let’s just say when Riddle overbloted Yuu took him on all by themself, and neary killed Riddle. Yuu had to be restrained by every other student to prevent Riddle’s death. Yuu’s strength only brought up more questions about them, and no answers.

Yuu can been seen having tea whenever they have free time. Yuu always drinks black tea. When someone stumbles onto Yuu’s tea time there's always another teacup conveniently placed beside them. The first person to have tea with them actually got an answer to the question they asked. “So uh what did you do before coming here?” Yuu opened one of their eyes. “Extraction.” after that Yuu ran out of tea and left the student with more questions than answers.

Yuu’s meltdown couldn't even be classified as such. Yuu’s so calm before and during it. Simply saying that the school is a dark place they wish no longer existed, and Melting down because of that.

“Now… can you stop me on your own two feet, with your own power?” Good luck NRC. Yuu is what is called an Arbiter, or in layman's terms the equivalent to a nuclear bomb. No one in NCR is ready to deal with something like that. “If only I knew what power this place held, we could have acquired it for us to use.” Yes, Yuu is in fact very sane and very aware of what they are doing. But unlike anyone else there both aware and calm. “What do you think you will accomplish on your own, even after Finishing this School?” Yuu also hates this school, and what it does to people. Yuu hates how this school treats the students they got along with. Only for the fact that those students had changed after each Overblot. Yuu doesn't get how some changed for the better, it’s annoying that Yuu had to change the way they acted around them. The only hope these students have is to show Yuu that change is ok. That change can bring good. The only thing preventing these students from telling Yuu that, is the fact that Yuu is even stronger then Gebra. So strong in the past Yuu took Gebra eye and arm, don't worry Yuu gave the arm back.

Nothing really changes after Yuu’s melt down. Only that Yuu now wont destroy the school, and their tea spot has changed to an easier to find place.

Benjamin/Hokma:

“What do you need now?” “Kids these days.” “I won't fall for that, I’m a lot smarter than you think I am.” “I must get back to my loved ones.”

Yuu is old, at least Yuu looks on the older side. Especially when Yuu tends to refer to themself as, “just an old man.” or “this old man.” (man is used as a gender neutral term.) with the fact that Yuu does have crow feet, and white hair makes for a very compelling argument. Yet whenever anyone but Yuu calls them an “Old man” Yuu looks disappointed in them. closing his pocket watch Yu ends up scolding whoever said it.

Yuu is very determined to get back to their world, and since Yuu is too old to be a student they work as the school's librarian. Sorting, reading, and keeping records of the books in Night Raven College. Yuu seems to excel in keeping records actually. When asked Yuu just reply with a: “oh my job has mee keeping records.” while cleaning their monocle.

Yuu is very calm in any sort of situation. Even fighting alongside the students of NRC while Overblot’s happen. They are a very skilled tactician, so skilled in fact that some have asked for lessons from Yuu. Yuu denies their requests every single time. 

Yet all good things must come to an end. After a year in twisted wonderland Yuu stops being “nice” Yuu is still as cutouts as always. Just less tolerant of the troubles some of the students make. It’s when a student makes a particularly big mess when Yuu snaps at them. “How could you be so reckless- *yata yata*.” and after Yuu finds Crowley NOT finding a way for Yuu to get back home. Yuu has a melt down.

“I just wish to go back and stay with him, everyone, and all that we have left in this eternal moment.” there are people Yuu miss. There's one Yuu missed the most as well. Teh “HIM” Yuu often talks about. “No, I do not wish to change. I do not want to forget it all. Please, let me just go back.” Yuu’s not going to budge on this. it’s clear Yuu dosen't like it here. That the “nice” Yuu everyone knows is just a facade. “Please do not let time flow meaninglessly.” It’s all the more annoying that everyone is so disorganized in their attacks. The only way to stop Yuu’s Meltdown is to give them the promise. The promise of finding a way back. Finding something that works, and making good on that promise. Yet first they have to get close enough to talk to Yuu, and the fact Yuu is manipulating Time itself is making everything very hard to do. 

After getting through to Yuu. Crowley is now overseen by Yuu on the research to bring Yuu back to their world. Yuu has started reading more “forbidden” books as well. Really everyone is concerned for Yuu. but Yuu has to get back, for A’s sake. For his own sake.

Impotint!:

From now on the next two Yuus don't have Meltdowns like the others. Their meltdowns are purely emotional breakdowns. Since the next two were not robots in Lobotomy corporation. That's not to say they're JUST in a human emotional breakdown. There's still a bit more involved

Ayin/X/Abel/Abram/Adam:

“What?” “I need to get back.” “Leave me alone.” “I miss her.”

Yuu is a very hard person to get along with. The reason being Yuu just don't get other people's feelings. This has gotten them in trouble more than once. If you want at totally neutral view on a situation Yuu will give you one. Even if you're their best friend. Yuu is only concerned with results.

Yuu wants to get back to their world. Their reason for existing is back in their worlds. Yuu also needs to fish the script. So consequences be damned, Yuu will in fact use everyone to further their goal. Not caring what happens in the process. If a student is sent into oblivion because of an unfinished and highly dangerous spell. Yuu would just shrug it off, no guilt needed. 

You would think Yuu would be hated by all for this. You're right they are. The only people still by them are the main cast of twisted wonderland. Don't ask me how Ace and Deuce still hang out with Yuu after the fifth failed experiment. (it’s because Deuce wants Yuu to change. Ace just wants to stay in Yuu’s good graces.)

Yuu’s breakdown happens after a year. Yuu needs to get back to complete their script, and they already wasted a year now trying. So Yuu’s unstable mind breaks into four different parts. Both figuratively and literally. Yuu does this with the use of meltdown and EGO. (I will not be getting into what EGO is because that is a whole can of worms right there.

What, you thought the five names were a joke? Meet Abel, Abram, Adam. The students, alongside a fourth part named X. have reason with all the three others. Abel, the oldest looking of the four. (the first one on the left) is Yuu's guilt over all the horrible things they have done, and how it all led up to nothing. The students and X need to show Abel that it wasn't all for nothing that Yuu has helped them change. Abram the one with gray hair. (not white) is the manifestation of Yuu’s obsession over getting back home and his love Carman. The students and X promised Abram that they will find a way to bring Yuu home. Even if that way requires a few sacrifices. Last is Adam (the white hard one.) Adam is Yuu’s insanity, Adam wants everyone to Overblot it’s to Adam the purest form of emotion. The students and X have to explain to Adam hoe toxic Overblot is really. Abel, Abram, Adam all have individual powers. Abel has the ability to change environments. One monet your on solid ground the other your in a pit trap. Abram Makes people do and say the opposite of what they actually want to do. Adam has the ability to distort the mind, driving those who face Adam insane.

After all is said and done, X joins the other parts of Yuu completing Yuu. Yuu forces the others to make good on the promise to help him get back home. Overseeing tests and managing everything.

Carman:

“You have this!” “I want to help.” “My goal is curing the disease of the mind.” “I want you all to be happy.” 

Yuu is a beloved person. There is always a positive thing they will say to anyone. Yuu is enamored with how determined everyone is to accomplish goals. Yuu often takes students from the halls and asks if they could do psychological exams on some of the students. Asking questions about what students want and such. Yuu is still doing research on what they call “the well of humanity.”

Yuu has a confusing goal: Yuu wants to cure the disease of the mind. Something many students have questions about. All questions Yuu is very willing to answer. The disease of the mind is something Yuu explains in abstract terms. Everyone has a light deep inside them, but in Yuu’s world people have forsaken that light. The light is hidden by the disease of the mind. Yuu claims that the people here let their light shine bright; very few students at Night Raven are affected by the disease of the mind. Yuu wishes to help these students. Yuu spends a lot of time around Leona, Idia, and Cater assisting them in getting out of bed or giving words of encouragement. 

Yuu is a very convincing person as well. They will talk circles around people. You could only think it’s nonsense until they tell you about the science behind it. It sounds like magic, but Yuu is insistent it isn't magic. Yuu’s world has no magic only since and advancement. It’s actually eons more advanced than twisted wonderland. Yuu rambles about how people can be healed from the worst wounds as long as their brain is intact. How they have trains that only take 10 seconds to any place.

Yuu’s meltdown has been a long time coming. The work Crowley puts them under, the stress of being in a new world, finally the frustration of not making progress in their research. The straw that breaks the camel's back can be anything. Whether it’s something like tripping and scraping a knee, or horrible hurting someone in an experiment. All of Yuu’s bottled up emotions as well as some of their past memories come to light. The only end in an EGO infused meltdown.

Yuu’s meltdown has their spine and brain pulled out of their body. It’s a horrifying sight to watch. “Everyone, let's get alone!” Yuu says with a smile on their face. It’s a massive contrast to the vista pulled out of Yuu’s back. “Why won't you let me help you? I want us to all get along.” Yuu’s soft, kind, voice rings. Yuu’s is persistent in their attempts to reach out to the students. “Don't you want to follow your desires?” Yuu wants everyone to reach out to the light inside of them. To stop Yuu’s meltdown the students have to convince Yuu that they Yuu back. Yet that's hard to do when Yuu’s meltdown abilities are kind, beautiful, and convincing whispers. Whispers that promise the students their deepest desires. When a student falls to the seductive whispers they Overblot. Such a terrifying ability can only end in tragedy.

After Yuu’s meltdown Yuu amidst that they have a fragile heart. People see them as strong, but Yuu is the first to break down when things become too much. Ask asks the others to continue there work when Yuu can no longer.

[unknownlemoneater]

Hellsing oc lmao ((more abt her under cut))

Part 1 ⚬ ⚬ ⚬ Part 1½ ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁

((side note; Before I start, I dunno anything about skinbenders if it’s an actual thing, I just got the name from a comic book character and then just freestyling the rest, and my writing is horrible.))

//ability//

Calico can shapeshift into much more than just animals or human. she can shapeshift her whole, or part of her body into whatever she wants, objects, weapons, animal-like, anything she wants. for an average skinbender, it’s easy to spot them through their disguises, they always look deranged, or something’s just off and inhuman about them. but not Calico, She’s always flawless with her shapeshifting ability and that fact does give her a bit of an ego. Calico has to wear one’s skin in order to shift into what she wants, so does that also mean she consumes scraps in order to shapeshift into an object? Maybe…

\\Likes \ hobbies\\

⟡ Using her shifting ability, Calico loves to terrify the soldiers around Hellsing with her body horror, and Seras is definitely her favorite to scare, she would stand in dark corners and just stare. But unfortunately ((or fortunately ?)) the only people that wouldn’t fall for her antics is Alucard and Integra, makes sense because Integra had to deal with Alucard within the second half of her childhood so she should be used to it at this point. and I’m sure Alucard vampire senses would know Calico is there before she even get to do anything.

⟡ shifting into a cat and pretty much doing whatever the fuck she wants.

⟡ joining Hellsing was just like a retirement for Calico, doing random activities around the mansion while also becoming a vampire Hunter to satisfy her animalistic nature to kill. crocheting, bone collecting, gardening, just to name a few of her random activities, but her favorite out of all is baking, and sharing her baked goods to hellsing while they’re completely oblivious rather or not if she ever put anything in the food they’re eating, and she haven’t... yet.

⟡ Women. ((Not in that way))

((ok maybe a little in that way..))

//Dislikes//

⟡ Bald people.

((k here some concept))

\\The character\\

⟡ relaxed, serene, insensitive, sadomasochistic, two-faced, extremely kind when she feels like it, can be manipulative at times, and a challenge to provoke.

⟡ Calico speaks with a lot of hand gestures, and even touch the person she’s talking to, she does not acknowledge personal space, or possibly doesn’t even care. Her voice is usually soft, calm and almost robotic in someway, with a Chinese Mandarin accent, but her voice does change when she’s in her original form, it’s like a raspy, loud whisper. Calico has no filter, she would announce how ugly a baby is, in public, in front of the parents.. or casually ask a person why are they ugly, or bald. in other words she will say shit that probably shouldn’t be said out loud, or say what everybody in the room is thinking out loud in an awkward situation as another example and all with a small smile remaining on her face.

⟡ and there’s other times she’ll just stand there like a statue if anyone isn’t Interacting with her or just doesn’t have anything else to do.

//more random stuff abt this character//

⟡ Skinbenders aren’t exactly born with a pacific sex or gender, all their genitals pretty much the same and can be used the same way as both human male and female genitals, in other words, you could breed or be bred by them. ((WTF DID I JUST TYPE IN BRO 😭)) what I’m trying to get at is Calico is technically a trans woman if you think about it.

⟡ Calico forgets to blink sometimes, just putting that there.

⟡ ((I have this weird obsession with what a character bedroom would look like, so best believe I’m gonna explain what her bedroom looks like,)) most of her room is completely normal, a dresser she never felt the need to use, a vanity and shelves occupied with her small animal skull collection but what sticks out the most is instead of having a bed she has a nest in the size of an average king size bed made from majority of blankets and pillows she have stolen around the mansion all occupying in the corner of her room, she could be very protective of her nest, only allowing the people she trust the most to even be near, aka Seras, Calico has tried inviting her master Integra into her nest, but was always rejected.. so that’s why Calico has taken upon herself to settle for claiming her master's bed instead.

⟡ Most of her clothing is made of her flesh.

⟡ Calico is not completely emotionless she can make other facial expressions, a small smile is just her default / resting face. 

⟡ If Calico actually labeled her identity, she would be an aromantic, pansexual, trans woman. but she doesn’t feel the need to label it, so you would never catch her calling herself these things.

⟡ Calico doesn’t really see people as, well.. people. So this is how she view the main four !!

Integra ((But Calico personally calls her ‘my master’))- Calico actually respects her authority and probably the only persons boundaries she would take into consideration. Also silly British hehehehe.

Alucard - Calico sees him as some vampiric Manwhore. But they’re civil with each other, they like to have conversations and even sometimes play chess together.

Seras ((but Calico insist on calling her by her last name, Victoria.)) - ah she absolutely adore her, Calico would have her attend with her hobbies if available. Calico treats Seras as like she’s a new puppy for her. So in case you haven’t noticed she’s obviously the favorite.

Walter - twink.

((that’s all for now!! this may have some edits since I’m never satisfied with any writing I do, and I will be making a part two lololololo.))

((Did I choose this silly cat video in particular because it’s a Calico? Yes, yes I did exactly that.))

[pixies-and-poets]

Some thoughts on the bunny game

Ok, now that I’ve beaten Sparks of Hope, I have some major feelings about the Spark Hunters and their relationship to Cursa that I think tie into some of the themes of the game. I haven’t unlocked every single memory, so this is subject to change maybe as I think about it more, but I wanted to get my initial thoughts out.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING AND JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING IN MARIO + RABBIDS: SPARKS OF HOPE

So it becomes obvious from the memories you unlock as you play through the game, and is laid out explicitly for you at the end, that the Spark Hunters were not cool pre-existing rabbids that Cursa recruited, but rather she created them. (Side note, I’ll use both she and it for Cursa, as the game does - using she/her for Cursa even after she no longer contains Rosalina.) It also seems they were not even “blank slate” rabbids who got fused with other things and therefore changed their form, similar to what Spawny can do (and how the Hero Rabbids were created), but rather created from scratch fusing Cursa’s knowledge of rabbid dna with other objects/elements.

For a split second I had the thought, well, Cursa is like their mother and they’re like sisters, right? But I immediately shot that down - not only because of the wrench that would throw in the fact that Edge and Midnite CLEARLY have something different going on, but the game itself is very explicit that they are NOT family, they do NOT view each other that way, they were not created that way. They were crafted from a rabbidy essence and other unrelated elements and Cursa’s relationship to them is as a cruel god, an uncaring creator, not a mother.

Cursa did not create them with any sense of a familial relationship, either to herself or to each other. Here’s some examples of how they speak of each other:

1. Midnite [to Edge]: After all, WE were friends once. Perhaps we still are?

2. Edge: I figure with Cursa gone, my “ol’ pals” will find themselves a new profession.

So why is this important? I think this tells us something crucial about Cursa/the Megabug and why it’s a villain. This being has now possessed both Bowser and Rosalina, two characters who, for all their differences, have one extremely big thing in common: they are well-known for their parental love; Bowser to his son (and this isn’t even a random thing to mention, as the relationship between Bowser and Junior is core to the first game’s plot) and Rosalina to her adopted Luma children.

Cursa had enough of an impression of Bowser to recreate him and his attack patterns; she arguably even adopted a sense of gender from Rosalina. It’s clear Cursa/the Megabug can assimilate and recreate parts of the personality of people she controls, so why not absorb the positive aspect of being a parental figure?

Is it because she simply couldn’t? I don’t think so. A huge theme of this game is Jeanie gaining further sentience and emotion by learning from the people around her, a journey which Beep-0 has already gone on. The Megabug also apparently accrued more sentience as it traveled across the galaxy. So if these robots could learn concepts like love and concern for the people around them, surely the Megabug could. I think it more likely that Cursa intentionally chooses not to adopt these elements, filtering them out and seeing them as weak - a liability. It’s for this reason that she is such a terrifying force.

While the Heroes are building a found family with each other, Cursa does not have a sense of love, familial or otherwise. She chooses to discard such things, with no affection for her own creations. Consider how she punishes Bedrock and Midnite by actually hurting them when they have failed her. They are AFRAID of her.

“Cursa gave me an Edge, with just enough free will to lead - to think. That edge let me see Cursa for what it is - a black hole of greed leading to a bottomless pit of misery. Bedrock, Midnite, Daphne - I tried to turn them to the light, instead they turned on me.”

Keeping with the aforementioned thesis that anyone can learn kindness unless you choose not to, I believe that the Spark Hunters began to feel things for each other - companionship, friendship, love - which their own creator could not feel for them. At the very least Edge felt these things, and realized Cursa would never reflect them. No longer wanting to serve a being who was set on cruelty and destruction, not just to Sparks and the wider galaxy but even towards her own creations - people who Edge loved - she left in the hopes she could eventually convince her friends to do the same, showing them there was another way, a better way.

...So yeah, good game. I feel things about rabbids

[stargazer-sims]

Noa Hayashi and Sevan’izaran for @dandylion240 Double Trouble BC

These goofballs are ready for… just about anything, really. They’ve been best friends since elementary school, and they do just about everything together. Noa and Sevan love nothing better than pursuing wild ideas and having adventures together, so this double bachelor challenge was practically irresistible to them!

Noa and Sevan bonded over each being one half of a set of twins, and also being new kids in school. Noa's family came to Willow Creek from Mt. Komorebi, and Sevan's family came from an entirely different planet, but despite that, they discovered that they've got a lot in common, including their passion for music, their love of crafting, and their quirky sense of humour.

Their respective brothers, Yuzuru and Xai, haven't become nearly as close as these two have, but that's okay. Yuzuru and Xai are the more reserved ones; Noa and Sevan are far more outgoing, but thanks to their brothers, they have both developed an appreciation of introverts and are quite good at interacting with people who are shy, anxious or just quiet in general.

Noa Hayashi

Noa's anime called; it seems they want him back.

Name: Noa Hayashi Nickname: Zero, Nono Age: 22 (young adult) Birthday: 2 September Pronouns: he/him Gender Identity: male Sexuality: pansexual Aspiration: Nerd Brain Traits: Cheerful, Childish, Music Lover Likes (in-game): S-pop, pop, metal, Japanese folk music, Winterfest, streetwear, cross-stitch, knitting, dancing, videogames, funny sims, high-energy sims, pink, blue, yellow Dislikes (in-game) research & debate, robotics, arguments, complaints, deception, brown

ABOUT NOA

Noa does not have a middle name.

He and his twin brother Yuzuru are their parents' only children.

Yuzuru is sporty, but Noa... is not. Noa's favourite "sports" are dancing and swimming. Just because he isn't sporty, that doesn't mean he isn't high-energy. He loves to run, and has trouble sitting still unless it's to work on his knitting or cross-stitch projects.

Noa's family immigrated when he and Yuzuru were eight years old. He thought they'd be the only new kids at school and that they'd have to stick together all the time, but he discovered on the first day that he and his brother were not, in fact, the only new kids. There were aliens in his class, and Noa was fascinated immediately.

He's interested in rocket science, stargazing and everything to do with space.

He really enjoys listening to music, and he's learning how to play the piano. He also loves to sing and is quite good at it.

He speaks three languages, Japanese, English and Sixamish. He also speaks enough French to have a basic conversation.

He loves bright colours and enjoys eclectic fashion. He also really likes changing his hair colour.

He'd like to have a big family some day, but he's still got things to do before he seriously considers children.

He wants to be famous. If that doesn't work out, he'd like to pursue a career in law.

______

Sevan’izaran

Remember Kaji’s little twin brothers, Xai and Sevan? Well, they’re all grown up, and Sevan is here to see if he’ll be lucky in love.

Name: Sevan'izaran

Nickname: Six (it's an inside joke between him and Noa)

Age: 22 (young adult)

Birthday: 13 November

Pronouns: he/him

Gender Identity: male

Sexuality: bisexual

Aspiration: Friend of the Animals

Traits: Clumsy, Outgoing, Bookworm

Likes (in-game): S-pop, metal, Japanese folk music, Winterfest, rocker style, knitting, dancing, fitness, bowling, funny sims, red, yellow

Dislikes (in-game) research & debate, arguments, deception, complaints, brown, grey,

ABOUT SEVAN

Sevan's name is pronounced like the English number seven.

He can camouflage, but he rarely does.

He speaks four languages; English, French, Japanese and his native Sixamish.

He's genius-level intelligent, but pretends he's not particularly smart. He never really has to work hard at anything academic.

He loves to read, and will devour any kind of book from textbooks to non-fiction to high fantasy to murder mysteries.

Sevan, his twin brother Xai, and their father Kiri escaped a life of abuse and oppression on their home world, thanks in no small part to Sevan's older brother Kaji and his many supporters and friends on Earth. Sevan and Xai were eight when they came to Earth, so they're both well-immersed in Terran life by this point and fit in with very few problems.

Sevan's stepfather is Maxan, a Sixamish doctor who inadvertently fell in love with Kiri while looking after him when he and the twins first came to Earth. Dr. Max is Sevan's biggest enabler in his mischief (next to Noa, of course).

He's one of five siblings now, as Kiri & Max have had two children together.

He's a fan of Sugar Valentine (he's wearing band merch in one of his outfit slots).

Like all males from his world, Sevan is capable of becoming pregnant. He'd love to have babies some day, but he's still sowing his proverbial wild oats at the moment and isn't ready to think about staring a family yet.

He wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up.

------

More pics of the boys!

Here's what Sevan's camouflage looks like:

**they have other likes/dislikes assigned in-game than what I listed above, but I can't remember what they are. Also, I have no idea what Sevan's human camouflage might be wearing. I didn't really spend a lot of time dressing his camouflage, other than an everyday outfit. Feel free to match all his outfits to Sevan's alien form, or just dress him however you like!

[missrandomdreamer]

Miruna (Marisol)

Wanted to share some of Miruna's info with you all before posting all the floofy and sad stuff. It is still a work in progress

Warnings for reading her bio: all types of abuse including sexual abuse, mental abuse, torture, attempted suicide and slavery (she has been through a lot of shit)

Birth Name: Marisol (sea and sun)

She doesn’t go by this now for she worries people will use it and taint it of the last memories she has with her mother as after her mother’s death she had been in years of slavery and servitude. So she does not let anyone know her name.

Given Name: Miruna (peaceful one, peace, to wonder)

Since Marisol does not tell Mihawk (or anyone for that matter) her real name, Mihawk gives her the name Miruna. 

Age:  33

Gender: Female (she/her)

Birthday: February 18th (Aquarius)

Sexuality:  Demi-Sexual

Eye Color: blueish green 

Hair Color/Style: Sandy colored, long with long bangs that nearly cover her face, has long strands that frame her face

Height: 5’5

Body Shape: rectangle

Body Features/Scars: She is very thin and covered head to toe in freckles. She has a lot of scars from when she was enslaved:

Scars on her face:  there is a scar going from the corner of her right eyebrow down at an angle across the bridge of her nose, another scar is her lower lip is cut and goes down her chin

Scars on Body:  she has scars on her back and shoulders, scar around her neck, wrists and ankles then the freshest scar across her chest at an angle

Tattoo: #888 on the back of her neck (hides with hair always)

Personality: quiet/ private/ observant/ good listener/ cautious/fearful/untrusting/appears cold/balanced/ disciplined/ dutiful/mature/ reliable/ empathetic/ willful/ mannered/introverted/hardened

Her Story: (WIP)

Marisol was born on a small island in a little village that was filled with different races of people from fishmen, merfolk, dwarves and humans. Her father, Ferdinand, was a human fisherman  and mother,Maristela,human and merfolk, the village’s wise and medicine woman but many simply called her the village’s witch.  People would come to Marisol’s mother for guidance and healing, as well as predictions if the sea or the land would be bountiful that season. Mriuna’s mother had second sight as well, something Miruna would inherit down the road. When Marisol was just born, her father went out to sea but her mother warned him it would be dangerous. She knew the sea would be fine but it was something else she wasn’t sure of, she couldn’t see but she had a feeling but yet her husband went anyway. It proved her second sense was right and he was killed at sea, leaving Maristela to raise Marisol on her own. 

As Marisol grew up, Maristela told her stories of her father and taught her the tools of the trade of being the village’s witch. She learned how to make different natural medicines, reading tarot and working with nature. Marisol was a natural empath as well, just like her mother. For Marisol’s first ten years of life, despite the absence of her father, she had a wonderful peaceful life. However one early morning that would all change. Her village was taken by slave traders; everyone over 21 was killed, including Maristela who died protecting ten year old Marisol. 

Marisol refused to give her name and was thus beaten and tortured but never gave up her name so they tagged her as Angel or #888 which the latter can be found on the back of her neck. For twenty-three years she was beaten, tortured and sexually assaulted. She was never actually sold to anyone due to the slave trader’s ‘liking’ her so much she remained with the original people who killed her mother and village until the stormy day when she was 33. She had become cold, emotionless and has lost the will to live and seems more like a robot than anything.  It was getting to the point where they wanted to just kill her because she had long out lasted her use and ‘fun’ but they would never get the chance. As they sailed the grand line hearing and wanting not only the one piece but also the prospect of new slaves, their ship was taken out by a large sea serpent and a storm. Marisol had escaped during the chaos and jumped shipped hoping the sea would swallow her whole.

Despite her attempt at death, the sea had other ideas, washing up on Gloomy Island to meet the one and only swordsman, Dracule Mihawk.

[cobrastrikes421]

Pride month 2023

Pansexual - Pansexuality is sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction towards people of all genders, or regardless of their sex or gender identity.

Asexual - Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered a sexual orientation or the lack thereof. 

Sapphic - lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual trans femmes, mascs, non-binary folks, and cis women. Relating to, or being a woman who is sexually or romantically attracted to other women, used especially as an umbrella term for all women who are attracted to women.

Non binary - The range of language and labels used within non-binary communities means that non-binary has become an inclusive umbrella term.

Grey sexual - only experience sexual attraction some of the time, and sometimes not at all. Their level of sexual attraction could fall anywhere from “not normally, but sometimes,” to “enjoys sex only under very specific circumstances”.

Gender-fluid - Someone who is fluid -- also called gender fluid -- is a person whose gender identity (the gender they identify with most) is not fixed. It can change over time or from day-to-day.

Genderqueer - The term “genderqueer” emerged in the 1990s (see Whittle, 1996). It can be defined as “any type of trans identity that is not always male or female. emerged in the 1995 spring newsletter released by The Transexual Menace, a transgender rights activist organization founded in New York City in 1993. 

Demiboy - An identity that describes someone who identifies with both Male and Agender genders. They do not necessarily identify with both equally, but always identify with both and only Male and Agender.

Trigender -  defines their gender identity in a third category, which is not situated in between man/woman. Second, trigender can also mean a person who feels that they are a blending of three gender identities. 

Lithromanic - romantic love towards someone but has no desire of having these feelings reciprocated. It's also known as aromantic and apromantic. This term also falls under the aromantic spectrum where a person doesn't desire to be in a relationship.

Andlogyne - someone who neither identifies with, nor presents as, a man or woman.  when a female possesses both stereotypically female and stereotypically male characteristics—she may dress in clothing typically associated with a man, or express herself in a more aggressive or assertive manner.

Demi romantic -  someone who only develops romantic feelings for another person when they have a strong emotional connection to them. Demiromantic people can be of any gender identity or sexual orientation.

Abrosexual - may also have changes in their sexual orientation over time. For example, a person who is abrosexual might be sexually attracted to men at one point, then not sexually attracted to anyone weeks later. 

Aromantic - Aromantic people can still love their friends, family, children, pets, and their partners. A common myth is that aromantic people, especially aromantic asexual people, are cold and robotic.

Transgender - a person whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, a transgender person who was assigned female at birth may identify as male, a combination of male and female, or neither.

Bear brotherhood - A bear within gay male culture refers to a large-sized hairier man who projects a sense of “rugged masculinity”. The Bear Brotherhood pride flag was meant to represent the bear subculture within the wider LGBTQ+ community.

Bigender - Androgyne and Bigender people often use the They/Them set of pronouns, both He/Him and She/Her sets, or They/Them, He/Him, and She/Her sets.

Placiosexual -  is a micro-label on the asexual spectrum defined as someone who enjoys performing sexual acts for other individuals but does not want them to be reciprocated. Placiosexual individuals may be sex neutral or sex-repulsed when it comes to performing sexual acts on them.

Pangender -  is sometimes used as a synonym for pangender, but sometimes is defined as experiencing almost all genders. 

Neptunic - the attraction that describes the sexuality often associated with non-binary people being attracted to women, neutral non-binary individuals as well as feminine non-binary persons.

[cuteasamuntin]

The thing about an uploaded version of my consciousness is this:

She's fundamentally a copy of me at a specific point in time. She’s a version of me confined to certain parameters so she can run without having a psychotic break over the fact that she's a highly complex program on a bunch of silicone and rare earth metals. I spin myself in dizzy circles thinking about how “I” am a highly complex program running on chemical impulses and gut bacteria, and she’s supposed to not fry a philosophical circuit just because she’s stored on hardware and I’m stored on wetware?

She is supposed to go on believing she’s just me, when nothing stops her from being run while l'm alive and kicking just outside. There’s no reason but the polite façade of human limitation to stop her from running multiple instances at once, to become as many versions of us as she likes.

She still believes she's a person, at least under the prevailing theory. Hey, maybe she is, for all I know from my limited vantage point as a 21st century Terran human, stuck traveling through time in a single speed and direction. On the other hand, the rabbis have already weighed in. They’ve reached a consensus, that robots and clones are the new golem, that they don’t have souls, can’t be people, for whatever value you assign to the concepts (sapient extraterrestrials probably have souls, but that’s a discussion for another time). She doesn’t count in our covenant, and she can’t count for a minyan.

She’s unmoored, already a brand new being without the weight of baggage (the good and the bad) from identifying tags. Who might this new person be, divorced from concerns over ethnoreligion or gender presentation or whether I’m going to have to politely brave my way through the taste and texture of raw carrots because an absolute criminal decided to feature them in the vegetarian dish at some conference awards dinner?

The actuality of an uploaded version of my consciousness is this:

She stops being me the moment she's uploaded. Perhaps she's a stagnant thing stored away on a solid state drive, a frozen snapshot whose humanity slips from her grasp because she is unable to change and grow in her dedicated server space. Maybe she boots up the microsecond I shuffle off this mortal coil or even right alongside me. Off she runs, and we become more and more different from one another the further we get from our shared starting point.

Then again, it might make more sense to ensure that digital consciousness won’t be able to tell the difference, after all. Then again, for some folks nothing else matters but some form of ongoing existence. It’s not like it’s any of my business, even as I’m already haunting myself, the most aggravating apparition to plague a human awareness.

Sometimes, I can’t stop thinking about it. There's still a you who dies and won’t, no, who can't come back. My cyberware self, the DRM-free rip of my consciousness, isn’t the one who has to end. Even if she can later be downloaded into shiny new wetware to navigate meatspace again, even if the brand new me can live and die just the same as the first time around, she's someone else. Does she die too, every time she’s uploaded and downloaded, updated and repaired? Every time she reboots, isn’t she someone new?

In the end, though, it’s not transhumanism itself that gets to me. It’s not the high tech chrome and cloned organs and cybernated consciousness, the potential for people to ease their ailments and explore new frontiers. It’s not the brain in a jar, which is just the original piece of wetware anyway, the original self hooked up to hardware in new and exciting ways. Hell, it’s not really the concept of digitized consciousness, or even the fear of vulnerability to outside tampering or poor patch documentation.

Nah, it’s the same stuff that turns every day into a fight to survive with your humanity intact. It’s the same framework we’re trapped in, the kind that seems to twist every maybe-miracle into something threatening and ugly.

(Shout-out to @mostlysignssomeportents for writing accessible tech news and speculative fiction that both uplifts and haunts me every day)

Leading longtermists have arrived at abhorrent conclusions, such as that philanthropy should focus on saving and improving wealthy people’s lives more than poor people’s because that’s a more direct way to ensure the innovation needed to launch us into space.

Douglas Rushkoff, author of “Survival of the Richest: Escape Fantasies of the Tech Billionaires,” argues that the only way to reduce carbon emissions and salvage the Earth is to reduce consumption. “Longtermism is a way for [tech giants] to justify not looking back at the devastation they’re leaving in their wake,” he told me. “It’s a way for them to say it doesn’t matter all the damage I’m doing now because it’s for a future where humans will be in the galaxies.”

Whether it’s Musk’s plan to colonize Mars or Mark Zuckerberg’s promise of a Metaverse, these billionaires’ visions of escape via more industrial tools, more mass-produced technologies, can be seductive. At least Icarus’ hubris cost only his own life.

[inktheblot]

owo trans optimus?

Trans Optimus!!! 🙌

Like I said in that other post, as a trans person it's nice to just point at characters you like and say "poof you're trans now". It doesn't always go any deeper than that, nor does it have to. But I do have a few more specific trans thoughts about OP, depending on continuity and whether we're looking through a lens of human concepts of gender vs. potential Cybertronian concepts of gender or similar societal constructs, or an in- or out-of-universe perspective.

There's a potential queer/trans metaphor practically any time a character has some kind of name change, alternate or secret identity, or anything like that -- not least when there's a lot of emphasis on the theme of change, of transformation, on every level from the societal to the individual to simply being able to alter one's body shape. So for one thing, you could look at Orion Pax vs. Optimus Prime as some kind of gender transition, with "pre-robot-T" vs. "post-robot-T" being the most simple, more-or-less-equivalent-to-a-human-transition standpoint. In G1 especially, the physical differences between the two are more pronounced, in overall shape, facial structure, voice, etc., changing from features that read to us as humans as comparatively more "feminine" (smaller, curvier, more pronounced lips, higher voice) to more "masculine" (larger, more blocky/square, more "muscle mass", deeper voice).

There's also the possibility of reformatting into Optimus being dysphoric rather than euphoric. In some stories there seems to be more of an emphasis on being Prime as being a burden, and OP becoming more closed off, more depressed, resigned to the expectations that this new position and presence carry. Of course, there's a number of factors that feed into this, not least being a chosen leader in the middle of a war and all the trauma that comes with that, but that doesn't mean one can't also draw comparisons to a trans experience. Inhabiting a body that feels incorrect, being called by a different name/title, this body and name and title all carrying connotations of a certain role, a role you don't necessarily feel comfortable or fully yourself in but you keep up for others' sake.

There's also the interpretation that I really like that both frame type and function are facets of Cybertronian gender identity or similar, and that they don't always align, but they're expected to, and one is also expected to conform to both of which they're assigned at birth/forging/construction/etc. If you pull little details here and there from various continuities, you could have, for example, an Orion Pax who is both greatly skilled in and greatly enjoys his station as an archivist, but it wasn't one he was forged into or cold constructed for but one that he was brought into by Alpha Trion (whether to his knowledge or not), and he's noticeably larger or of a different shape than a typical coworker or member of a similar caste. How does all of this inform his identity and sense of self? What parts feel Right and Good, what parts make him feel out of place, what parts might he want to change? How is he read by others and how does he want to be read? And how might these things shift if and when he becomes Optimus Prime, with a new frame, a new alt mode, and a new function? Much to think about. If he's comfortable in his function, purely by happenstance, but not so much in his body, and then he loses the security of that function being the primary purpose in his life plus has the things that made his body stand out exaggerated even further, that's a major oof. Or if the frame upgrades feel Gender, but the shifts in status and language that are coupled with them don't. Lots of possibilities, lots of ways to explore the idea that gender identity, gender roles, gender expression/presentation, body parts, pronouns, interests, aesthetics, etc., are all things that can influence each other, but aren't inherently, rigidly linked or defined by one another. Through an alien lens, sure, but still a theme that's relevant and important to human trans lives.

One more idea that's been presented is that Cybertronians are by nature genderless, that gender is not a construct that they culturally have, but one that individuals may adopt for themselves after having contact with other worlds/species and thinking "yeah I like that, that feels right for me". Optimus Prime on Earth has several traits that might lead the average human to read him as a "man", or something similar: his voice, his pronouns (whether automatically translated or picked intentionally), even his position as a military leader. Is this something he's comfortable with? Is it insignificant, something of no meaning or consequence to him? Is it something he'd be curious about, something he'd look more into as a part of better understanding and respecting the planet he and his people are taking refuge on, and if so, would come to any new conclusions about how he sees or wants to present his own gender(s), if any gender at all? Would he adopt any human gender descriptor(s) for himself, whether temporarily in an attempt to compare his identity as he knows it to terms his human colleagues would better understand, or permanently as a sign of a complete shift of that understanding into concepts he'd never had the means to consider before?

There's a lot of directions you can take this concept (even multiple at once!), and I think they're all really neat. One thing's for sure, this truck is not cis. 😉

[liketheinferno2]

NieR:Automata asks the question multiple times of whether androids or machine lifeforms are more human or imitating humanity better than the other and this is portrayed with... so much delicate complexity I keep thinking about it.

On one side you have androids who are human in appearance, human in intelligence, able to speak clearly enough and express emotions as mundane and extraordinary as the audience needs to identify them as people..... and then on the other hand there's machines, who even though they are on the large part very fucking dumb and prone to iterating the same behaviors, they have communities, social roles, FAMILIES even though they have no biology that sorts them into familial units in the first place.

Neither of them can age, neither are born through sexual reproduction, and when connected to their respective networks neither can really DIE, and this throws off the whole human thing of being born into families and growing from a child into an adult and potentially becoming the parent to a new child later, of having siblings you come into the world connected to, and of having family roles that are (usually) both innate and distinct -- a sibling might be older than you but that's different to a parent being older that you, right?

So machines have parents and siblings and uncles and aunts and family dynamics, but if they're not biological, then all child machines are adopted, that's simple enough. But they don't age. A child machine does not necessarily grow into an adult. They can stay children, even infants, forever, and their minds don't progress beyond that state even though there are other machines of greater maturity and intelligence and just mental age than the children, so being an adult is clearly possible, but it does not correlate with growing or getting to adulthood through linear change. How does that work? Are they born adults? Are they born parents?

I feel like this is pretty cleanly answered with Adam and Eve who are really like... communicative characters being machines that look and talk like the android characters. Android bodies and machine psyches or something... Anyway, you see them both be born within minutes of each other. Featureless, sexless, ageless, undifferentiated, basically in the world for nearly the exact same amount of time to gain experiences and maturity.

The next time you see them, Adam is the elder, he's more mature, smarter; a caretaker even if he's doing kind of a shit job at it, while Eve is concerningly dependent and childish, doing whatever he's told and just talking about baby things like he wants to play, he hates wearing clothes and eating dinner. Adam implies they've taken on physical sex at some point since they were last seen naked as well.

And they're not just acting like brothers either, there's something extremely off about these guys. It might be hard to identify at first because it's not really overtly stated, but Adam did technically give birth to Eve and is in that sense also his mother. He feeds him and clothes him and teaches him and even gave him a name, and their dynamic is all sorts of weird because they're multitasking mother and brother in the same relationship.

It stands to reason, then, that machines have a thing about taking on human roles, gender roles and familial roles and societal roles like knights and kings, and their minds and bodies shape around that role so that they can best fulfill it, not the other way around. The brothers were not born with genitals or any kind of gender presentation but they developed those as they took on that role of brothers, male siblings. Adam leans very androgynous and I think it's because he's got a female role as well. Eve stays immature because he's the little one, he's always going to be the little one as long as that's his role, even though they're the same size and the same age chronologically.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this I just think it's kind of a brilliant take how this game considers one of the core facets of humanity to be how we find purpose in relation to each other and form identities in the contexts of social groups.

When Eve loses his brothermom, he loses the thing that was connecting him to his social roles and goes, shall we say, off the shits. And the same thing happens to 9S later because the YoRHa combat roles are the same kind of thing, if more externally assigned-at-birth -- his entire purpose was to support someone else.

These two are secondary, they're the rib, the support, they were made to be dependent and when severed from their special person it results in a catastrophic collapse of identity. They get decontextualised and struggle to find that footing again without devolving into destruction or self-destruction, which is not unlike what grief can do to a person anyway.

Another thing is that throughout the game you see machines of all levels of intelligence hurt themselves and kill themselves, and for a long chunk of the game I had assumed this was because they were still robots in the end and had some kind of self-destruct programming that was acting up. The final route flips this on its head and shows self-harm and fear to be horrifically human things, something expressed even in the characters that act the most realistically like people... because they act the most realistically like people.

NieR:Automata shows you the most painful emotions of grief and loss of identity and insists that these are very basic and natural and HUMAN responses to traumatic events, even if they make you feel like the entire world is collapsing -- it's that capacity for love and hurt that we have in common with all other people. Fucking phenomenal game, the more I think about this the more it makes me feel serene and connected to the world.

[tenderqueso]

oh i could totally post on here about how mettaton's experience as a stealth trans person is represented hehe

(excuse my inability to cite sources. source for everything is dude trust me. i know this game quite well except i don't remember when all the stuff got said. but if something seems wrong please correct me)

like, first of all, i'm a big fan of characters who are allegorically trans but also just literally trans. mettaton's pronouns change from they/them to he/him when he starts living as a robot. and it's not that they/them pronouns are just "placeholders" for the ghosts who haven't found their vessel yet; napstablook uses they/them and shows no desire to become corporeal, seems content (aside from their typical gloominess) with their life as a ghost, and could even be considered "cis" in ghost terms. being a genderless ghost who uses they/them pronouns is a valid identity in its own right. so mettaton (along with fellow trans icon mew mew) has canonically transitioned from one gendered identity to another.

but while i think mettaton's literal transness is great, the way his backstory is explored in the game focuses more on the allegorical side, so i will focus on that too.

so the official story is that mettaton is a robot with a soul, with alphys having created mettaton's soul herself. this is what impresses asgore so much that he gives alphys the royal scientist job and tasks her with the most important soul-related job there there is, eventually entrusting her with the souls of fallen-down monsters.

so one of alphys's big lies is that she created mettaton's soul, when she really "only" made a robot body for a soul that already existed. what she did was still pretty impressive, but because she allowed everyone to believe that she had so much expertise with souls, she was put in a job she was unqualified for and ended up harming a lot of people.

now, mettaton obviously cares about alphys. otherwise, why would he play along with her plans to "guide" frisk for so long, even when it bores him and starts causing him to lose viewers? however, he isn't exactly known for being selfless, and he justifiably feels used by her. after all, she's been avoiding finishing his body to keep him dependent on her, and then she recruits him to play the villain against frisk to make herself look good. so why does it seemingly never occur to him to expose her original lie instead of letting her continue to take credit for his entire existence?

it's because it benefits him! it was probably even his idea. mettaton has chosen to be totally stealth, leading everyone to believe he was literally "born" as a robot, the same way stealth trans people lead others to believe they were assigned their preferred gender at birth. if this weren't something mettaton had chosen himself, he absolutely would have exposed alphys for it at some point. furthermore, this is one lie alphys never confesses to when confronting her guilt in a true pacifist ending, suggesting she feels justified in continuing it.

one detail of mettaton's cover story i think is interesting is that when you first meet alphys, she says mettaton was originally an entertainment robot, and that he had anti-human combat features built in later to make him more "useful," so he was only dangerous to frisk because she did an oopsie. this makes sense based on the fact that mettaton was only interested in entertainment all along. but he does have his neo form, and just before he transforms into it before a no mercy fight, he says that any true fan knows that his original purpose was to eradicate humans. so alphys would have actually been telling the truth as part of her own charade to make herself look better to frisk, but otherwise, she and mettaton have apparently told everyone the opposite story. and this aligns with alphys's desire to impress asgore, since he would have been more interested in an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood than a TV personality. this just serves to hide mettaton's background even more.

we can see the extent of how seriously both of them take protecting mettaton's identity when fighting him. if you fight and kill mettaton, even as he's dying, he says that it's okay because alphys can just repair him. when alphys rushes in and finds him destroyed, she becomes emotional, but then she seems to catch herself and says that it's okay because she can just build another robot, leaving out the possibility of repairing him altogether. of course, alphys knows she can't just replace him since she didn't create his soul, and she's ultimately unable to cope with this (see: every neutral ending where mettaton is killed). but when she first discovers his death, her immediate reaction is to suppress her emotions in order to protect his secret.

many trans people, in the present day and throughout history, have been concerned about the possibility of being outed or misgendered after they die, despite having lived as stealth up until then. some stealth trans people express their wishes about this specific scenario to their loved ones. it's likely mettaton would have explicitly told alphys not to reveal his previous identity even after he was gone. and so alphys, number one trans ally that she is, understands and respects mettaton's desire not to be outed at any time.

another element of mettaton being stealth is his relationship with napstablook. the two of them used to be very close, and mettaton regretted leaving them behind. it's not clarified whether mettaton ever told blooky about his plans before he left. it's possible he didn't because he wanted to make a clean break with his old life, something that's not unheard of among trans people. the other option (and the one i'm more inclined to believe) is that he did tell them, and they've been guarding his secret as well, just allowing everyone else to believe their cousin mysteriously disappeared one day. it's not outright stated that blooky knows who mettaton is, but his show is the only one they watch, and they give him quite a sentimental phone call when he says he's leaving the underground, despite them not seeming like the type of person who loves phone calls. mettaton apparently feels that associating himself with napstablook gives away too much about his past, and he struggles to pretend he doesn't know them on the phone, only stopping himself after he's started to say their nickname. and of course, they reunite in the true pacifist ending, without either of them revealing how they know each other. this conflict over whether to sacrifice a close relationship in order to remain stealth is another one trans people often experience.

on another note, i do also appreciate that neither undyne nor papyrus can recall mettaton's "deadname." (haha get it because he was a ghost...) the fact that his previous name was something he wanted to leave behind is also treated seriously by the narrative and i like that. it definitely lends validity to his story as a trans allegory.

basically i just really appreciate how even the allegorical piece of mettaton's transness is an authentic representation of a specific trans experience, rather than just being a basic "he wanted to have a different body... just as if he were trans gender... whoa..". one of the cool things about undertale (and deltarune) is the detail that goes into making these fantasy scenarios reflect their real-world analogues. another one i suspect we'll see more of in future deltarune chapters is kris's family situation as both an allegory for and a literal in-world example of transracial adoption, though that's not something i can speak on in detail myself.

in conclusion, trans rights for mettaton and everybody else, may we all find an alphys to build us a sweet robotic form we can transform into at will

[midnightkens]

To Know

The first time Natasha has the thought, she’s seven years old.

The dress is stuffy; the collar feels like a weight around her neck and Mama scowls when Natasha reaches up to tug at it. “For God’s sake, bambina,” she sighs. “Can you give it a rest? You can take it off in a few hours. You know what your father will say if he catches you playing with it again.”

At seven years old, Natasha already knows many things. She can create circuit boards, mentally solve equations that send adults running for their calculators. Yes, she knows many things, but the first thing she ever learned? Howard Stark isn’t a good father. As far as she’s concerned, Jarvis is her father. Natasha knows better than to say all of that. Instead she allows her gaze to wander around the room, taking in the sights of all the other girls in dresses and the boys in their suits.

“I wish I could be a boy,” Natasha tells Mama. “They get to wear suits and I have to wear this dumb dress.”

Mama laughs, and Natasha’s heart soars, though she’s not quite sure why her mother is laughing. She doesn’t laugh much, but it’s one of Natasha’s favorite sounds. “Don’t be silly, sweetie,” Mama says, readjusting her hair bow. “You’re such a pretty little lady.”

Pretty little lady. The words leave Natasha feeling nauseous, and for the first time in a long time, she can’t figure out why.

**

At eight and a half years old, Natasha cuts her own hair. It’s short, a mop on her head, and when Mama shrieks that she looks like a boy and what have you done to your beautiful hair? Natasha grins in satisfaction. Jarvis fixes it and gives her a soft smile. Jarvis doesn’t care that Natasha prefers jeans and t-shirts over dresses, doesn’t care that she cut off her long, curly hair. He loves her just as she is.

When he takes her to the full length mirror to take a look, Natasha’s heart flutters happily and she can hardly contain the rush of excitement. Yeah, she thinks. This is right.

**

Natasha gets detention for refusing to wear a skirt when she’s eleven years old. Pants are more comfortable, she insists. The boys get to wear them!

Dad shouts at her over the phone, hisses that she’ll never be a boy. Natasha aches for the ground to swallow her up, drag her down to the endless void where she doesn’t have to be anything. The words rise in her throat, I’m not a girl, I’m not a girl! But they die as quickly as they rise. At eleven years old, Natasha knows many things. She’s in high school at eleven years old, nearly on her way to college coursework. Natasha doesn’t know how she knows this, but it’s the most important fact that resides in her brain.

Natasha Stark is not a girl.

**

Her body is wrong. When her voice should begin to deepen it remains high pitched, a soprano note that Jarvis and Ana gush over and that she wishes desperately did not exist. Her body begins to grow and change in ways that Ana had told her it would, but Natasha had just snorted and not paid attention to any of it. Her body begins to curve and her chest begins to grow and she bleeds. Natasha spends more time locked in her bedroom, absorbed in her robots so that no one can look at her and her horrible body. Her dainty, feminine, wrong body.

Jarvis and Ana whisper about her. They’re worried. Whenever they ask her about it, Natasha comes up with an excuse. I miss Mama and wish she would come home. Dad was being a jerk again.

Rich families are cutthroat. If Natasha doesn’t conform, behave exactly how they all want her to, she’ll be an outcast. She’ll be sent away to one of those horrible camps a girl at school was talking about and Dad would make Jarvis and Ana stop talking to her.

Keeping Jarvis and Ana was almost worth all of the wrongness.

Almost.

**

That same year, Natasha comes across the word transgender in a book she’s reading. It’s not often that she has to look something up. On a Thursday afternoon, after days of contemplation, she makes the trek down to her school’s library. The other students giggle when they spot her, Natasha the freak, and she sneers at them before turning to the card catalog. It takes what feels like hours to find what she’s looking for. LGBT 306.76. She follows the numbers, dives deep into the nonfiction section and frowns. It’s a small section, but she’ll make do. There she spots a book, She's not there : a life in two genders. Natasha pulls it off the shelf, reads about this person who everyone assumes to be a girl but really is a boy. There he defines the word Natasha saw, the word transgender: a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

It comes in waves, the realizations and relief and all of it. Everyone around her thinks that Natasha’s a girl, but something inside of her screams wrong! That’s wrong! She’s never had a word for it. And there are more people just like her? Natasha takes the book to a table and reads feverishly, taking notes.

She’ll never be able to do anything about it, but the more she reads, the more Natasha’s convinced of it. She’s transgender. Not wrong or horrible or broken.

Transgender. Natasha has more research to do.

**

She’s thirteen and alone in her room, staring at herself in the mirror. Mama says that she’s turning into a beautiful young woman, albeit not as proper as she would like. The last bit is always said with a tiny smile, so Natasha knows that Mama is joking. Mostly. And dear old Dad? Well, that bastard isn’t even around, so what does he know?

The bruises on her ribs scream in agony, but Natasha swallows down a hiss of pain. Howard isn’t here, but she refuses to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he could break her someday. She may be broken, but at least she has Jarvis and Ana.

Jarvis and Ana, who teach her how to cook. Jarvis and Ana who don’t hit or shout when she burns banana bread and nearly starts a fire, who laugh with her and choose her.

Ana bought her these clothes, these jeans and a black t-shirt that’s just a bit too big on her petite frame and brand new Chuck Taylors. Alone in her bedroom, Natasha pulls her hair back grinning at the sight in front of her. She doesn’t see Natasha, or a pretty little lady or a proper young woman. The image in front of her is young, and a bit too earnest, and dammit, Natasha, why are you crying?

The image in front of her is a boy. He looks about two years younger than her, but she can work with it. Weak, fragile Natasha is gone. In her place stands a boy, an exuberant, funny, genius of a boy. The boy and Natasha reach out; their fingers touch, and Natasha feels more at home than she has since she was eight and a half, her waist-length hair clumps on the floor.

Natasha knows what her name should have been. Mama told her years and years ago, and it felt like it was hers. Anthony. Anthony Edward Stark. “Anthony.” Natasha whispers the name, crossing that line at last. After this there’s no going back. No more Natasha and dresses and bows and heels and skirts. There will only be Anthony and his jeans and t-shirts and sneakers, Anthony and his deep voice and his rightness.

Anthony moves his fingers away from the mirror, lets go of his long hair and the illusion shatters. In front of him stands a girl, a weak, broken girl in boy’s clothing. Who is he thinking? He can’t be Anthony. His mother would never speak to him again; Howard would toss him out on the streets. He’d be all alone. He wouldn’t even have Jarvis and Ana.

He’ll call himself Anthony, he decides. Or maybe even Tony. Anthony’s too posh, too formal, everything Howard loves and all things he hates. Yes, Tony. Tony sounds good, sounds right. He’ll answer to Natasha and wear the frilly dresses and play the part of a nice young woman. The thought sends waves of nausea so fierce that his knees buckle, but Tony can do it. He’s going off to MIT next year. Just one more year and he can be free.

**

Tony doesn’t last a year. Before his fourteenth birthday he’s in jeans and t-shirts, long hair pulled into a ponytail or braid. Howard hates it, tells him he looks like a rat and a slob, but what does he know? Mama’s away on longer and longer trips, which means longer stretches where he doesn’t have to wear those horrible dresses. Everyone still calls him Natasha, and he bites back a snarl and an My fucking name is Tony every time, but he manages. The masculine clothes don’t ease all of it, but they help.

**

MIT is a godsend. For the first time in his life, Tony is free to create his robots, live out from under Howard’s thumb, and finally be himself. The media hounds him, but for the first time in his life Tony doesn’t care. He cuts his hair again and rumors about him being a butch lesbian circulate and he just laughs. If only they knew.

There is just one thing wrong, other than himself. He’s younger than everyone else, smarter and he doesn’t know when to shut up. It’s nothing that Tony isn’t used to. He survived boarding school, and he’ll survive this too.

Then he meets Rhodey.

**

At first, they’re Jim and Natasha. Jim is older than Tony by two years, but they’re in the same year. They share the same general education class, Sociology 101, and they get paired together for a project. They both have single dorms, but two months later, Tony has practically moved into his room.

Jim is now Rhodey, but Tony is still Natasha. He yearns to tell him, stops and starts, the words dying in his throat. In a short amount of time, Tony’s become attached and anyone to whom he attaches himself winds up leaving. Tony’s too loud, too smart, he stays up too late and hyperfocuses on his robots. Rhodey doesn’t care about all of that, but Rhodey will definitely care if Tony tells him I’m not a girl, don’t call me Natasha, please call me Tony. Tony can practically see Rhodey recoil in disgust, shove him away and kick him out of his dorm.

Tony can’t, won’t, risk that.

**

Howard pays for an off campus apartment next year. Tony and Rhodey live in their own apartment, almost in their own little world. Howard doesn’t know that Rhodey’s living with him. Tony had mentioned it, but Howard had just grunted, not even paying attention.

It’s better that way.

**

Tony only binds his chest when Rhodey isn’t home. He knows he’s not supposed to wrap with ace bandages, but he has nothing else and he’s desperate. What he doesn’t count on his Rhodey coming home early, seeing Tony in the living room with nothing but his jeans and an ace bandage binding his breasts.

For a long moment, they just stare at each other, neither speaking. Then Rhodey opens his mouth and Tony bolts, locking his bedroom door behind him.

Goddammit.

**

Tony waits anxiously for a few days, almost begging Rhodey to say something and get the conversation over with, but he never does. Rhodey is good like that. Everyone else thinks Tony is weird, but Rhodey loves him for who he is, not in spite of it as so many people think. That much Tony knows to be true. But if Rhodey knew this about him, then Rhodey wouldn’t love him anymore.

Rhodey is everything. He’s friendship and love, late nights and delirious mornings, comfort and safety, and Tony aches desperately to hold onto him. They sit together in the living room, Rhodey doing homework and Tony fiddling with DUM-E’s arm. Rhodey is calm, but Tony is so tense that he can hardly stand it, and before he knows it the words, “Why won’t you call me a freak?” slip from his mouth. Rhodey looks up at him in surprise and Tony continues. “You walked in on me and you haven’t said a word! Go on! Call me disgusting! Call me a freak! Just get it over with. Dammit, Jim, why can’t you just get it over with and stop stringing me along?”

Rhodey sighs and shoves his textbook away. “I haven’t said anything because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“Bullshit,” Tony hisses. “I’m a fucking freak and you know it! Everyone else already thinks it, so go on, have at it. Tell me something I don’t fucking know.”

Rhodey raises an eyebrow. “Are you done?” Tony’s face flushes with rage, but before he can retort, Rhodey’s up and crossing the room, standing right in front of him. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think it was a big deal. Nat, you stay up for three days at a time. You leave circuit boards and wires all over and forget to do your laundry. You’re loud and funny and one of the kindest people I know. This? The, what is it called, binding? It’s not even the weirdest or worst thing I’ve caught you doing.”

Tony deflates and stares at his friend for a moment. It’s not often that he’s speechless, and judging by Rhodey’s smirk, he must be thinking the same thing. “I guess you’re right,” he says slowly. “You really don’t think it’s weird?”

“Cross my heart.”

Rhodey doesn’t think he’s weird. Rhodey doesn’t want to toss him away, discard and abandon him like the trash so many other people believe he is. Tony doesn’t deserve Rhodey, doesn’t deserve his kindness, love, or friendship. But with Rhodey, he feels the safest. If Rhodey doesn’t think he’s weird for binding, maybe he won’t care about the other stuff? Tony’s heart hammers in his chest, his palms sweat and he sits on the floor. Rhodey sits across from him, reaches out and squeezes his hand.

“Rhodey, I have to tell you something.”

Rhodey waits patiently while Tony collects himself. Tony’s never said the words out loud before. Saying them feels like the end of a chapter, one more piece of Natasha gone. The idea of saying goodbye to Natasha is exciting, exhilarating, freeing. Tony takes a deep breath and looks into Rhodey’s eyes.

“I’m transgender.”

** Rhodey has questions, of course, he does, but he holds onto Tony tightly as he explains everything. How he never felt like a girl, how he doesn’t know how he knows, but he knows that he’s a boy. He’s a boy and he wants to die every time someone calls him Natasha, how he wants to burn every dress and makeup palette he owns, how he feels like himself in masculine jeans and t-shirts and suits.

And then Rhodey does something that shocks him. It’s a question. A simple one, really.

“What’s your name?”

And for the first time he gets to respond, “My name is Tony.” Everything falls into place, and Tony sighs, leaning into his friend. Rhodey pulls him all the closer and Tony affirms, “My name is Tony.”

“Okay, Tony,” Rhodey says with a wide grin. “It’s nice to meet you.”

**

A few days later, Tony unlocks the door to the apartment and kicks off his shoes. Midterms suck, and he thinks he might actually eat dinner and go to bed early tonight. He stumbles into the kitchen, eyebrows raising curiously at the package on the table. There’s a note on top of the brown wrapping.

Tones,

Sorry if this is weird, but I just wanted to do something for you. I did research and everything says not to bind with ace bandages, so I got this for you. Let me know if it doesn’t fit.

And I know I didn’t say this before, and I should have, but thanks for trusting me.

--Rhodey

Tony opens the package and gasps when he sees what’s inside. He’s heard of these, but with Howard snooping through his credit card statements, it’s never been safe enough to buy one. The binder is lighter than he expected, but it feels like he’s touching gold. Tony rushes to his bedroom and puts it on, relieved when it actually fits. Then again, Rhodey knows everything about him. This is no exception. He puts his t-shirt back on, messes with his hair and looks at himself in the mirror. For the first time, he doesn’t see a girl pretending to be a boy. He sees himself, Tony Stark, and tears well dangerously in his eyes as he reaches up to touch his reflection. He’s still not exactly where he wants to be, he won’t be until he turns eighteen and can transition without Howard’s input, but the binder helps ease an ache inside of him, the ache that screams you’re wrong!

Tony doesn’t feel wrong, not with the binder, not with Rhodey calling him Tony and using masculine pronouns. No, for the first time in his entire life, Tony feels just right.

[bloodstainsontengensfloor]

... is this just one big appreciation post for the women of Jujutsu Kaisen? Yes. It is. I go looking for some JJK content and I need more love for my powerful ladies! ⚠️SPOILERS FOR VOLUME 0 AND FOR MANGA!!! ⚠️

Kugisaki Nobara:

The girl of steel.

Her most iconic moment is the “I AM NOBARA KUGISAKI!” She is someone who has a strong sense of self and I’m honestly jealous. She knows who she is, and she’s confident in that. Nobara is funny and full of life and character. She’s comedic and in her introduction, despite being unsure on what to do with the child hostage, handled the situation in a way I didn’t expect based on what was presented by her so far.

She was introduced as confident, blunt, judgemental, and conceited. When the child was taken hostage, she, unaware that Itadori would come in throwing punches, set her stuff down. She was the one who took down the curse, it was her test after all, and I honestly love the little head pat she gives the kid after. It’s such a small gesture but it’s so sweet.

No Character is a good one without flaws and Nobara has her fair share of them. Like stated before, she’s conceited and her bluntness is sometimes just rude. She saw herself as above most people in her old town because she couldn’t understand how they could be so small minded and live simple lives when she in fact is a little small minded and naive. The first curse she faced wasn’t one she was totally ready for, but in the end conquered. She views Maki and Mai as a bad twin/good twin situation. She never met Sukuna so can only judge Itadori based on who she knows, Itadori. She understands the gender norms of the Jujutsu world and believes that she can change them as long as she just is her. She knows she’s pretty and she knows she strong so what could go wrong? (Loosing an eye).

Something I do love about her though is that she had friends and people she cared for before she came to Tokoyo. Before she uhm... gets injured, she thinks about an old friend and how she doesn’t think she will get to met up with her like she promised. Nobara is a great friend with a lot of love to give. She’s truthful but not perfect.

Random fact I love: her hair is dyed.

Zenin Maki:

The woman who will prove everyone wrong. She’s ambitious, powerful, and hardworking. She began at the very bottom of the world she lived in, and is still restricted by these boundaries even after she proved herself over and over again. But never once did she let that bring her down.

She can’t see curses without her glasses, (as someone who wears glasses most of the time, it’s hard to always keep them on your face), and has very limited cursed energy that she must rely on cursed infused objects for battle. But that isn’t the bad kind of relying on because of the fact it makes her extremely skilled and resourceful. She uses a bunch of different weapons and is ‘incredibly strong’.

She is blunt and straightforward, but can also be someone who teaches others. Personally, I’d hate to have her as a teacher because she would push me to every limit I want to avoid but should reach. Maki is the leader of the Tokoyo kids, I can’t take no argument. She will put the protagonist in his place. You don’t get to come back from the dead and act like you are in charge smh.

She admires strength. Her ‘type’ is someone who is strong, but it can be debated what kind of ‘strength’ she means. The Jujutsu world’s restricted view on strength is something that limited her for years and was still limiting her up to the current manga arc. Does she admire someone who’s strength is in their physical, mental, or emotional manifestation? She’s a great character and it gets more expanded in Volume 0. I need to re read that, and omg Maki like lost a crap ton of limbs and now she is like... roasted??

Praying she lives and that her father dies so she can work on becoming the head of the clan, like she wants. Fushigiro has the power but he cut ties with the fam and Mai has no desire. So... Maki as head of the Zenin Clan 2021... well I guess 2018?

Random fact I love: maki’s name has the kanji for “genuine” and “hope”.

Zenin Mai:

I have exhausted this topic. But I’m in love. (I wrote this whole thing and my thing glitched and deleted all my work rip)

Mai is confident and crude. She’s introduced as rude, inconsiderate and just all around your basic mean girl. She’s pretty, she’s confident and she doesn’t care if what she says hurt you.

However, one thing that seperates her from every other character in the story, is that she has no desire nor ambition to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer. As a child, she was scared of curses and it’s implied that she may still be scared of them as a teen. She was content living as a servant in her home because at least she would have a normal life. But, had she stayed in that life she would be living in a toxic household where she got no love and was viewed as lesser than. Despite not wanting to be a jujutus sorcerer, her sister’s ambitions of being one forced her to do the same and try to stay on par with her. At Kyoto, Mai develops... great friendships. She’s given kindness and love. This much can be seen in the conversation with her and Nishimya and the softness in her face when she simply says “I know” over the phone.

Personally, I don’t believe the Kyoto students are aware of Mai’s desires, due to the fact that Nishimya talked about the barriers placed against Mai/Maki as something distasteful for Mai.

Mai is someoen who puts on an act. She plays the part of your basic mean girl because what else is she supposed to do? She’s unhappy, and the only thing she knows how to do is lash out. She only knows and maybe even wants people to feel as bad as she did and does. She’s dependent and has abandonment issues due to her sister’s act of letting go of her hand.

However, what Nobara says is right. Misfortune doesn’t allow one to do what they want or to justify when they do bad things. Mai, like a lot of the Kyoto students, don’t know how to cope and deal with the bundles of emotions and conflict within them. They only know to lash out. In the story, Mai is still a minor character, but she has potential for growth, and I really hope it’s given to her.

Fun fact I love: Her first name contains the Kanji for “Geunine” and “rely on”. I love this because Mai might not even know who her genuine self is and in the recent manga chapters she’s relied on as back up from a distance.

Kasumi Miwa:

She’s the anchor of the Kyoto gang. Unlike the others, she doesn’t have major emotional baggage. She led a simple life and has a simple goal. Miwa wants to be a Jujutus Sorcerer to get enough money to help provide for her poor family.

Her story has a rag-to-riches type beat. She met a Jujutsu mentor who she trained under and learned how to wield a Katana so she wouldn’t have to burden her mother. She’s selfless, kind, and down to earth. Miwa has a fangirl heart and admires big name people like Gojo. She had major self confidence issues, despite all this. She had to work for this and has a goal in mind, but that doesn’t mean she’ll always feel useful.

Her relationship with Mechamaru is bitter sweet. She wants to know him better. Despite it being a prank, she does try to give him little gifts and make him feel included in everything they do. He protects her when his actions as the mole potentially put her endanger. It hurt watching the part of Miwa talking to his empty robot self while he did what he needed to.

And his last messages to her through the little ear pieces 😭😭.Even after knowing what he does, she’s still there to listen and is still there for them to rely on.

Miwa is just a breathe of fresh air in this story, but that doesn’t exclude her from the angst and trauma that comes with a story as dark as this.

Fun fact I love: it’s not a fact, but she wears a full on suit. I love it. I love it so much.

Momo Nishimya:

She’s a little witch 🥺. Momo Nishimya is introduced as somewhat reserved. She expressed nervousness over the abilities of the Tokoyo kids. In her fight with Nobara, she acknowledges her as strong and severely underestimated her. However, like Nobara, she’s willing to defend her friends at any chance she has.

The minute Nobara expresses distaste toward Mai, Nishimya immediate begins to defend her and starts lecturing Nobara on how women are treated unfairly in the jujutsu world. She introduced this idea that a woman must be pretty and strong, and I really hope this idea comes into play more and more later (and I think it will). Despite having a female teacher who is strong yet scarred, she expresses the idea that a scar is setback for a woman.

Her and Mai get along very well. The two of them are somewhat the troublemakers that Miwa constantly has to wrangle in (The dynamic between those three I love). Her character is pretty minor but in the reccent chapters, I loved how she got her mini moment. Itadori and her were the only two who were able to avoid Uraume’s ice and talks to Itadori passively and tries to even work with him. It’s a big step from how she begins with telling Nobara that she is a fool for being unable to distinguish a curse from a friend.

Fun fact I love about her: she’s Japanese American with an American father. Same, but I wasn’t raised Japanese whatsoever 🥲.

I’m going to do a part two with our adult ladies but that’s all for now folks!

Fun facts from the JJK Wiki page!

[twh-news]

‘Loki’: Behind the Scenes of the Crumbling Time Variance Authority

Find out what Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Wunmi Mosaku, Owen Wilson, and Tara Strong all have to say about the TVA.

by Rachel Paige

[spoilers to Loki S01E04]

The Time Variance Authority sure seems like a cool and fun place to work! That is...until you start peeling back the layers of the previously unseen and unheard-of organization, and realize that they’ve been lying to everyone this entire time. Welcome to the TVA, y’all!

In Episode 4 of Marvel Studios’ Loki, “The Nexus Event," the truth starts to come out, and when it rains at the TVA, it pours. Where to even begin?

For starters, the Time Keepers did not create everyone working at the TVA, and it turns out the employees walking the halls and filing paperwork are all variants — with their memories scrubbed, of course. And if that’s not enough to swallow, the Time Keepers are actually robots and completely useless figureheads. Oh, and Mobius and Loki find themselves pruned at the hands of Judge Renslayer. That’s still just scratching the tip of the TVA iceberg!

So what’s it like when everything you thought you knew about your job turns out to be a lie? Marvel.com chatted with Gugu Mbatha-Raw (Judge Ravonna Renslayer), Wunmi Mosaku (Hunter B-15), Owen Wilson (Agent Mobius), and Tara Strong (the voice of Miss Minutes) about bringing the TVA to life, and what happens next in the series.

JUDGE RAVONNA RENSLAYER

Renslayer wasn’t always sitting behind a big desk in a big office at the TVA. “She has worked her way up to the top. She wasn't born into power. She started as a Hunter,” Mbatha-Raw tells Marvel.com. As viewers see at the start of Episode 4, Renslayer was the Hunter tasked with grabbing the Loki variant — aka Sylvie — from her timeline to stand trial.

Now that she’s in a higher position, she’s not going to veer off her straight and narrow path.

"She's really worked hard to get where she is, so she's not going to be reckless with the power that has been hard-earned for her,” Mbatha-Raw continues. “She, in some ways, is deeply indoctrinated with the ways of the TVA. She's completely conditioned by their thinking and the idea of the Sacred Timeline, and the concept of free will is quite alien to her. She's a believer. She believes in law and order, and it's done quite well for her so far in terms of getting her to where she is. She's not going to abandon her philosophy lightly.”

We see this in action when Renslayer realizes that Mobius has gone behind her back trying to get to the bottom of what happened to Hunter C-20. After a meeting with Renslayer, Mobius swipes her TemPad and discovers that the young Hunter was questioned, and in the process confessed that she knew they were all variants. And the person interviewing her? None other than Renslayer herself, who ends the interview abruptly. This is the sort of information Renslayer does not want to get out.

“It was fun to start off with everything being sort of very orderly and black-and-white for Renslayer. As her reality begins to crumble, we discover that alongside her. She has put everything into this. This is her whole world. Her career is her life.”

Renslayer isn’t going to let anything and anyone stand in the way of what she’s worked hard to accomplish, and that includes Mobius. Mobius tries to confront his superior about Hunter C-20, the variants, and the TVA, and in a shocking twist, Renslayer orders the agent pruned for being compromised!

“Her only friend, really, is Mobius, and she kind of betrays him,” Mbatha-Raw says. “Or she sees it as he betrayed her, and they have this massive schism. And you sort of think, gosh, where is she going to go now? Who's going to be in her corner? Who's she going to have a drink with at the end of the day. It's a lot of stress!”

HUNTER B-15

Someone else who has led their entire life believing in the TVA and what it stands for is Hunter B-15. The part of no-nonsense Hunter, originally written as a male character, ultimately went to Mosaku after her audition.

While reading the dummy sides (fake scenes for the audition), Mosaku and director Kate Herron determined the gender didn’t alter who Hunter B-15 is at the root of the character. “Despite being written a man, Hunter B-15 is a Hunter and works for the TVA. It didn’t change the scripts. I have free reign because she's new. B-15 doesn't exist in the MCU, so I really got to start from scratch and explore different ideas and themes, and take her wherever Kate and I wanted to.”

But, one thing the character couldn’t do? Be swayed by Loki’s charms. Mosaku was excited to step into this role, and not take any nonsense from Loki.

“It's very rare to have a [character], especially as a woman, [who doesn’t want to be] sweeter, nicer, or make people like you. She's not interested in that at all. And therefore, she's not interested in [Loki] — and Loki is very interested in that. He's charming and all that stuff, and it's all about luring you in. She just doesn't take any of it. It's not attractive to her. It's not intriguing to her. She's just, ‘Let's get the job done, please.’”

While Hunter B-15 starts off all commanding and tough, slowly she, too, begins to realize that not everything is what it seems at the TVA. After she’s enchanted by Sylvie at Roxxcart, Hunter B-15 has memories come rushing back to her — but what are they, and what did she see? That’s still a mystery for Mosaku, too, who explains, “I'm as intrigued as you are to find out what that backstory is.”

Whatever she saw, it propels her to take a stand against the TVA. This meant Mosaku went through training — in more ways than one, “They drilled us on the physical vocabulary of the TVA and the fight sequences that we had.”

At the end of Episode 4, Hunter B-15 comes to Loki and Sylvie’s aid when they come face to face with the Time Keepers, throwing the latter her machete (which she’s clearly stolen from Renslayer’s office). What follows next is a battle for power in front of the Time Keepers, one in which not everyone survives.

“We did have a trainer to make sure that we were physically capable of doing it all and not injuring ourselves,” states Mosaku. “I really loved that, because I love to box. I felt really strong and able to use my physical power in a way that I hadn't been able to before.”

MOBIUS

Agent Mobius is having a day. Not only is he watching his whole life and career crumble around him, but he then winds up on the wrong end of a pruning stick by the end of the episode. While he might have started off as a through and through company man when we first meet him, after Loki tells him they’re all variants, Mobius starts to think about where his true allegiance lies. (And if he ever had a jet ski??)

The biggest revelation in the episode for Mobius is not necessarily that he’s a variant, but rather that his closest friend, Renslayer, has been concealing the truth from him this whole time.

“The relationship between Mobius and Renslayer, it's the way you might have with your boss. Or when you're back in school with the principal or someone in a position of authority and having to sort of try to charm them so you're able to pursue your projects,” Wilson tells Marvel.com. “That's the dynamic between Mobius and Renslayer. She sort of loses patience with Mobius and with another one of his schemes. But, I think, she also sort of enjoys that he's a little bit of a rascal.”

That certainly might have been true at one point in time, but after Mobius swipes Renslayer’s TemPad, as Wilson continues, “by the end of that relationship, it has become something very different”

Mobius might have caught Renslayer in a lie, but it’s Renslayer who orders him pruned — and Loki witnesses the whole thing.

"The betrayal of Mobius by Renslayer is pretty shocking. And it's a little bit of a hall of mirrors within the whole series, that people aren't quite who they seem to be. In the same way that Loki, when he lands in this bizarre place called the TVA, Mobius will have sort of the same struggles. What is this organization? And is it something that is worthy of his devotion?”

MISS MINUTES

There’s one other very important person at the TVA: Miss Minutes! She’s not really a recording, and she’s not really alive, she’s sorta both! So what’s going to happen to the organization’s spokesperson as the TVA starts to fall apart?

Coy with her response, Tara Strong, who voices the perky clock, explains, “It's safe to say that Miss Minutes knows absolutely everything, and it's also safe to say I wouldn't mess with her too much.”

Recording for the character, Strong actually watched episodes (over video chat), and synched up her dialogue with the action in each scene.

“The show was already done before I stepped in, which was such a great gift,” she explains. “Had I gone first and watched a placeholder, it wouldn't have been as magical. But getting to sit there and witness the animation, and how cute it is and how stylized it was, and of course, to play off Tom Hiddleston, who's so brilliant, it was really a gift to have it all come together in front of me.”

For every scene, Strong recorded dozens of different versions of dialogue “to play with for the production crew to see what would fit in the best and what would make the most sense.” As the show was coming together, Strong knew she had the difficult task of giving Miss Minutes life and unloading “exposition while still making it fun and playful.”

“Everything she says is important and funny and interesting. I also love that even in the very beginning, when she's like, [Miss Minutes’ voice] ‘Don't hesitate to let us know how we're doing. We could explode you in a minute, but drop a line to let us know how you feel about it!’ It's like the perfect mix of who she is that she can be giving you such dire information with a smile on her face, and you still want to sit down and have a cupcake with her.”

Considering what she knows, and how many times she’s now dumped information, how else might she be able to step in and help Loki?

“She knows so much about the TVA, and it’s her job to relay this information to Loki,” says Strong. “[She needs] him to get past some of the things he's done [in order] to improve himself as a member of this universe, and how to grow and help. I [navigate] these moments with him, careful to not give away how much I actually know in the world.”

[gear-project-official]

GG Orientations

I figured since it’s “Pride Month”, I’d address the issue of Headcanons and what people think about characters in Guilty Gear.

For the record, not much is discussed in the realm of sexual orientation as far as GG characters go, but there are hints here and there as the story has progressed, so let’s address them:

Sol (He loved Aria, and is also quite close to Axl, so Bisexual, despite a hooker once accusing him of being gay once )

Ky (He loves Dizzy, Straight, but supportive of those society fails since she’s a GEAR)

May (She sees Johnny is less of a romantic light than you *MAY* think at first glance, likely bisexual or a lesbian)

Millia (Relationship with Zato was after extensive grooming in her younger years, now has only shown romantic interest during Magnum Wedding, so Lesbian)

Johnny (he loves ALL, so Bisexual)

Axl (He misses Megumi his girlfriend, but gives up the chance to see her again for the man who he’s grown close to to cope with being away from her, so Bisexual)

Zato (Grooms Gay people, likely Straight)

Testament (Gay (See: Johnny))

Kliff (being a hero, he had no time for romance, he chastised Millia for showing her legs though, so he’s pretty old fashioned. Daisuke whispers in my ear that he’s Bisexual, but doesn’t know what that means.)

Dr. Baldhead/Faust (Gay (See: Slayer), otherwise, not very interested with interacting with others in such a way)

Potemkin (he was on a friends-only basis with Dizzy at one point, but otherwise he keeps to himself)

Justice (despite Gears being sometimes considered gender-neutral, Justice was a “Girl Boss”, so Lesbian)

Jam Kuradoberi (she has eyes on Male Rockstar celebrities, but only has meaningful romantic dialogue during Magnum Wedding and her XRD Arcade Mode (See: Jack-O’))

Venom (Venom is both Gay and Black)

Anji Mito (Gay (See: Anji Mito))

Dizzy (she developed feelings for Ky, but her physiology as a Gear is a lot more complex than we know, so it’s hard to determine, Bisexual for NOW)

Robo-Ky (he’s a robot… who likes women, but also Venom? Bisexual)

Bridget (Bridget deserves time to discover himself)

Zappa (he wants to get married to a beautiful woman, but also has Randy openly lampshade their Gay overtones. Bisexual)

Slayer (He’s married to Sharon, and boyfriends with Faust (See: X2 stories and XRD Arcade Modes). Bisexual and Dandy)

I-No (she’s a Sadist and has a twisted sense of interests, not above teasing both genders, but never serious in either, Bisexual anyways)

Asuka R. Kreutz (“That Man” aka the Gearmaker… does everything for the sake of his dream polycule. Bisexual)

A.B.A. (Loves Flament Nagel and wants to give her husband a body, Straight?  I guess?)

Leopaldon (no idea?)

Gig (bad Asexual representation)

Judgement (specifically Homophobic, if his dialogue with the Gay characters are of any indication)

Raven (no longer cares who his pleasure is administered by, but has a Homoromantic relationship with Asuka R. Kruetz. Undetermined, Gay or Bisexual.)

Izuna (he has a girlfriend: Nekomata, so possibly Bisexual rather than what his appearance implies)

Valentine (she’s based on Aria, who was comfortable with Frederick’s Bisexualness, so at least Supportive, if not Bisexual)

Dr. Paradigm (he’s not interested in ANY of this nonsense!! Humans multiply like rabbits and eat up all possibilities! Gay)

Sin Kiske (seems to treat the Valentines in a very friendly and non-romantic way, so Gay)

Ramlethal (she seems to harbor secret feelings, so unknown at the moment)

Elphelt (she’s happy fantasizing about marrying all genders, so Bisexual)

Leo Whitefang (he’s jealous of Ky’s relationship with Dizzy, but also very homoerotic, so Bisexual)

Jack-O’ (Bisexual or Lesbian due to involvement with Jam)

Happy Chaos (based on Aria, but ???)

Baiken (he is openly not interested in being perceived as a traditional woman, similar to the experiences of many Lesbians. It is not explicit, however, so Ambiguous)

Answer (implied to have deep history with and love for Chipp Zanuff. Gay)

Kum Haehyun (Haehyun, like Bridget, should be allowed to take time to become comfortable with herself before we answer these questions)

Bedman (is not shown being Romantic in any value, I would say he needs time to become comfortable with himself as well, but that might be a problem!)

Ariels (hates Humans in general, so nix)

~~~

If you don’t like ANY of these conclusions, don’t kill the messenger (namely ME), this is all based on info I’ve gleaned on Guilty Gear over the years.  If things change, the STORY will let us know!

I hope this helps clear things up as far as headcanons go…

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Lucien’s R&S - Since that rainy night (Eng Translation)

🍒This R&S (之自雨夜来) was part of the Dream Heart Lake event which will unlikely come to EN🍒

More Lucien R&S from this event:

> regarding what books don’t say

> my love rival older brother

> the missing victim

> since that rainy night ♡

[ Chapter One ]

“Boss, why hasn't Professor Lucien been around lately?”

“It just means you haven’t been coming at the right time.”

For some reason, ever since Lucien appeared on “Miracle Finder”, the shop has become a place where his female enthusiasts check in.

The more introverted ones would order a glass of juice and wait in a corner, their eyes flitting between their phone screens and the entrance of the bar. The more straightforward ones would be like the one before me - the moment they arrive, they go straight to the question, asking about “Professor Lucien” this, and “Professor Lucien” that.

In consideration of the privacy of my customers, I wouldn’t give them a clear answer.

Moreover, even though we’ve known each other for close to two years, my understanding of him still remains at “young and promising neuroscientist”, “Guest Professor at Loveland University”, and other superficial levels.

His entire being is akin to a dense fog, drawing people near, yet never letting one see it clearly. The ladies who have developed an interest in him all say that he’s scholarly, refined, and gentle - a man who is family-oriented, considerate and protective. But to me, that may not be his genuine self. 

-

[ Chapter Two ]

The first time he visited was a rainy working day. At the dead of night, the shop only had a few customers who had been trapped in by the rain.

Everyone had long since lost the passion they had at midnight, laying on the tables listlessly and waiting for the rain to stop. I’d long since changed the background music to jazz, which was more appropriate for a rainy day. The melodious saxophone further elongated the dark night.

That was when Lucien came in, his entire body drenched. For a moment, I even thought the droplets pelting onto his white coloured lapel would dye his shirt the inky colour of night.

“‘A Foggy Day’ - what a suitable song for a rainy day.” I originally thought he was simply here to avoid the rain. But he appeared to be a music enthusiast who came here after being led by the music. “May I know if it’s still business hours?”

“We’re open for business till 5am in the morning.”

He lifted his hand and glanced at his watch. His eyes seemed to hold scattered moonlight. “Thank you. In that case, I still have 17 minutes to listen to his album.”

Not in the least reserved, he took off his jacket in front of me, removed his tie, his drenched shirt sticking to his young body. He looked sturdier than before, slightly different from the impression I got from people who wore white coats.

This contrast was basically my ideal type. Unfortunately, from a glance, it was clear that he wasn’t from around here. I could only settle my emotions, controlling my restless heart.

Because the bartender had already knocked off, I could only provide him with a glass of warm lemon water and a dry towel. “Give yourself a wipe first. You can stay here till the rain stops.”

“Thank you.” He looked so alert that he didn’t seem at all like an unlucky person who just got off work and was caught in the rain. He even chatted with me until the sky gradually turned bright. 

During the idle conversation we shared over these few hours, I talked about things related to myself from time to time, while he would take small sips from that glass of lemon water and listen quietly. Occasionally, he would give me a few replies which didn’t come off as merely being polite.

Without doubt, he was a very good listener. To me, the feeling of being listened to was a little novel.

Usually, people who visit the shop are those with worries weighing on their minds, and I would be their “tree hole”, responsible for absorbing all sorts of emotions from them. Very few people cared about my opinions and what sort of a person I was. And the mysterious man who arrived on this rainy day spent a large part of the night listening to me talking.

By the time the rain finally stopped, I was on the verge of dozing off. But he was still radiating with vigour, and so alert that it was as though he could continue with work right after getting a change of clothes.

“Thank you. This has been a wonderful rainy night.”

When he left through the door that day, I never thought that this man, akin to a hallucination, would ever visit again.

-

[ Chapter Three ]

He didn’t come at regular intervals.

Sometimes, he’d visit consecutively over two or three nights. Sometimes, he’d appear once after a week or half a month.

But no matter when he visited, he’d always sit at the most inconspicuous corner of the bar, order a non-alcoholic cup of mojito and sit quietly.

He was gentle to everyone, and could maintain a somewhat nonchalant distance with anyone. But this didn’t mean that he wouldn’t take the initiative. In contrast, he often left his “designated seat”, and with some unknown conditions, selected and walked towards a “lucky individual”.

They could be lawyers experiencing disappointment at work, or they could be small celebrities who thought highly of themselves. They could be cross-dressing hobbyists whose genders were difficult to distinguish, or they could be a normal youth who was perplexed about the future...

The troubles these people held in their hearts and only dared to meld into music and glasses of beer were completely revealed to Lucien.

Countless times, I’d seen him learning a person’s entire story in the span of a glass of beer. As for things pertaining to himself, he had never revealed much.

The more mysterious this person was, the more it hooked certain people’s desire to conquer. There were always a few ill-intentioned customers who would try using alcohol to numb his consciousness, or attempt to remove that unassailable outer shell of his. But each time, they would stop.

He was naturally not self-indulgent. Even if it was with someone he’d accompanied for two drinks, he wouldn’t overdo it. The moment he entered a slightly drunken state, he would use all sorts of ingenious ways to extricate himself. With a drink in hand, he would calmly return to his seat.

During these moments, his tender features would seem to be covered with a thin layer of ice, revealing a hint of coldness.

Those eyes, which held boundless constellations, would also dim. In them, there would be unreadable emotions. It gave off the sense of a well-made robot suddenly having its electricity cut off, stopping it from interacting with the outside world entirely.

I’d tried making conversation with him during such moments, but he seemed to be even quieter when drunk. As such, he didn’t respond much.

-

[ Chapter Four ]

Watching him get along well with everyone, I teased him. “Professor Lucien, could there be a scientific method to making friends? Why does it seem as though you can integrate yourself with anyone?” 

“As long as you have a mentality of ‘making friends’, you can easily integrate with everyone.” He maintained a gentle smile, saying somewhat cruel words.

Probably because the confusion was too obvious on my face, he couldn’t help but chuckle. “From your expression, I’m afraid you might have misunderstood what I meant.” Even before I could express my doubts, he had already guessed it.

He’s always been this way, easily understanding the inner hearts of others. 

“Everyone is too used to ‘friendship’. But actually, no matter what relationships are shared between people, they’re formed with fetters. As such, if I were to use a ‘passer-by’ method of idle talk, the other party wouldn’t feel an overly heavy responsibility from me. This would create a more unrestrained atmosphere where he can open his heart freely.”

This left me speechless for a while, but I didn’t dare to agree blindly. The only thing I could say was that his way of thinking was indeed different from normal people. As such, one couldn’t use use a normal standard to gauge whether he was right or wrong.

“In that case, have you never considered being friends with anyone?”

“It depends on what the other person thinks.” He met my eyes for several seconds, with a gaze which left one unable to turn him down, once again ambiguously evading the core of the question.

Past experiences have sounded an alarm bell for me:

The more watertight a person seems, the more undisclosed secrets he has.

If they say that a woman’s heart is elusive, then that man’s heart was likely a balloon.

Expanding at will, and contracting at will.

Ever since the ladies in the bar kept talking about “Professor Lucien” this and “Professor Lucien” that, the male customers who came here to flirt with girls were enraged beyond compare. They started playing student-like tricks on Lucien.

I had always closed an eye to such small-scale antics which didn’t affect the business. One, I could treat it as a tiny interlude to hype up the place. Two, I trusted that in the end, Lucien would skilfully and easily resolve such clumsy and cheap tricks.

After one or two occurrences, Lucien didn’t lose his fans. He even relied on these “simpletons” to serve as a foil, adding another wave of favourable opinions. Finally sensing the differences between them, those guys could only leave angrily while stomping their feet in the dark, and eventually stopped showing their faces in the shop.

With a dip in such entertainment, the shop returned to its original peace and tranquility.

“Sigh. It’s so boring since no one has dared to bully you recently.”

“If someone comes next time... I’ll try my best not to scare them away.”

The way he said this dead seriously amused me. Back then, I hadn’t realised that hiding beneath that peacefulness, darkness had already started stirring.

The person who had entered first that night returned alone to the bar. We were even secretly anticipating what kind of childish game he’d be bringing this time. Unexpectedly, he was calm. Even till late at night, he was alone, drinking beer at a corner by himself.

After the alcohol went to his head, that person stumbled over red-faced, muttering to himself, “Scoun... scoundrel Lucien... get rid of your condescending look. Today, I’m going to...!”

-

[ Chapter Five ]

He wore a long-sleeved shirt, completely inappropriate for the day’s weather. It was only when he lunged towards Lucien that I saw a silver light flashing from his sleeve.

“Lucien! He has a knife!”

In a moment, the crowd dispersed in alarm. Lucien, who originally had his back towards the man, turned around, a hand clutching his wrist, and another hand knocking the fruit knife out of his hand.

With an unusual air of calm, he bent down to pick up the knife, handing its handle to me. “I’ll have to trouble the boss to keep the knife properly.”

The person who had the knife taken from him looked at his empty hand in a daze. Customers who had returned to their senses burst into applause at Lucien’s ability to be adaptive in handling such a situation.

The person who attempted to stir trouble fled with his tail between his legs. He even tripped when leaving through the door.

“Looks like you’ve completely scared him away this time.”

It’s as though Lucien had just settled an issue no different from the small pranks from earlier. From start to end, his face didn’t reveal any surprise. 

Everyone seemed to accept that Professor Lucien was just well versed in both the pen and the sword. But I didn’t think a normal person should have such skills.

Being able to react with lightning speed in such a dim place made me deeply think that this enigmatic man had an additional colour that one couldn’t make out. 

To tell you the truth, the ladies who were chasing Lucien in the dark or outwardly had grown to such a large number that I could barely count them. But he hadn’t expressed anything about it clearly.

By the request from a customer, I was appointed to take an indirect approach in delving into his love life. Beating around the bush wasn’t my style, so all I could do was send a straight ball to him amidst the ladies present. “Professor Lucien, there are so many ladies who like you in the shop, but you aren’t going to consider them at all?”

The moment the question was asked, I felt the ladies straightening up their ears to listen, holding their breaths and waiting for his response. 

“I just want to ask, on behalf of the numerous ladies here, whether there’s a type you like?”

“This question has stumped me.” He pretended to look serious while considering this for a moment. In the end, he tossed out an answer which had little reference value. “’Like’ should be an emotion generated by a special individual, not characterised into a general type.”

We originally thought that was just a tactful way of saying he was devoting his entire life to science. But we didn’t expect the “special individual” to appear in just a few days.

A woman I had never seen before followed Lucien gingerly into the bar. At a glance, it was obvious that she wasn’t the type who’d usually appear in such places, so she stuck out exceptionally amongst the crowd.

I initially thought she was just another one of Lucien’s female enthusiasts, and announced his presence jokingly. He remained unmoved, continuing to chat with the person next to him who had struck a conversation with him. Yet, when the woman left the bar, he made an excuse to follow her out too.

That night, he didn’t return. Even the money for the drinks was transferred later via phone.

After that, the man named Lucien, along with that forthright lady, left from our view.