#does anyone else hear the roaring noise in their ears

[goldfades]

Husband Joe burrow x wife reader blurb where Joe gets hurt at the game and she’s in the stands with their kids freaking out. Reader runs to locker room with kids and wait for hours awaiting news. Turns out to be a concussion and reader needs to take care of Joe.

so i just picked some random kids name but i hope yall like it anyway<3 this was a little quick blurb, if yall wanted me to go into detail lmk

the stadium feels alive in a way that almost makes your chest ache—electric lights cutting through the cold december night, the roar of the crowd washing over you in waves. jj’s got his little hands wrapped tight around your scarf, standing on the bench next to you, his cheeks flushed red from yelling. rosie’s curled into your side, clutching her stuffed tiger with all the fierce determination of a three-year-old who hasn’t quite learned to share her dad with the rest of the world.

and joe’s out there, as he always is, calm and unshaken in a sea of chaos. you watch him drop back, the ball slipping out of his hands like a whisper, and for a moment, it feels like time slows. you know the mechanics of it by heart now—the way his body turns, the way his head snaps up to track the pass.

except this time, something’s wrong.

you see it before anyone else does. before the crowd gasps, before the announcers scramble for words, before jj tugs at your sleeve and says, "mom, why isn’t daddy getting up?" your stomach drops, heavy and immediate, as joe stays on the turf, unmoving.

the medics rush out, and everything else—the noise, the lights, the game—it all fades to static. you’re hyper-aware of rosie, still tucked into you, and jj, now climbing off the bench to get a better view. you grab his arm, your voice sharp and shaking. "jj, stay here."

he looks up at you, wide-eyed. "is daddy okay?"

you don’t have an answer. you just know your legs are moving, somehow finding the stairs, the kids trailing after you like little shadows. the buzz of the crowd is deafening, but all you can hear is your pulse hammering in your ears, your breath coming short and uneven.

at some point, you find yourself at the tunnel, blocked by a security guard who’s trying his best to look apologetic. “ma’am, you can’t—”

“he’s my husband,” you cut him off, your voice shaking but firm, jj clinging to your side now, rosie tucked under your arm like a lifeline. “please, we need to see him.”

you don’t remember how you convince him, but the next thing you know, you’re in the hallway, the fluorescent lights glaring and cold, the echo of your kids’ sneakers on the floor making the silence feel heavier. no one’s telling you anything yet, and the minutes stretch into an eternity.

you drop to your knees, jj and rosie curling into you instinctively, and you press a kiss to the top of rosie's head like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded. "it’s okay," you murmur, mostly for them, but maybe a little for yourself too. "he’s gonna be okay."

you don’t know that. but you have to say it anyway.

the doctor’s voice is steady, practiced—like he’s done this a hundred times before. “it’s a concussion,” he says, glancing up from his clipboard as if to gauge your reaction. "he’s stable, but we’ll need to monitor him closely for the next few days."

you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, the tightness in your chest finally starting to ease. a concussion. it’s not nothing, but it’s not everything you were afraid of, either. jj, sitting on the bench in the corner with rosie asleep in his lap, looks up at you. "is daddy gonna be okay now?"

you nod quickly, forcing a small smile even though your hands are still trembling. "yeah, buddy. he’s gonna be okay."

they let you see him after a while. joe’s lying on the padded table in the back room, his eyes closed, a bandage on his temple where he must’ve hit the turf. he stirs as you walk in, his gaze flickering up to meet yours, and even though he’s clearly disoriented, he smiles—a tired, lopsided grin that tugs at your heart.

"hey," he says, voice scratchy and quiet. "you okay?"

you laugh softly, shaking your head. "you’re asking me that? you’re the one who scared the hell out of us, joe."

his eyes drift to jj, who’s standing just inside the doorway, clutching his stuffed football like a lifeline. "hey, champ," joe says, his voice softening. "come here."

jj hesitates, looking at you for permission before running to his dad. he climbs up onto the table, careful not to jostle joe too much, and presses his tiny hand against joe’s chest like he’s checking to make sure he’s really there. "you scared us," jj says, his voice small. "mom was crying."

joe winces, his hand reaching up to ruffle jj’s hair. "i’m sorry, pal. didn’t mean to scare you."

the next morning, the house is unusually quiet. you wake up early, the soft gray light of dawn filtering through the curtains. joe’s still in bed, propped up against a stack of pillows, his eyes closed but his breathing steady. you can’t help but pause for a moment in the doorway, taking in the rise and fall of his chest, the way his hair sticks out in every direction.

in the kitchen, jj is already awake, perched on a stool with his coloring book. he looks up as you walk in, his face lighting up. "morning, mom! can i make daddy breakfast?"

you smile, ruffling his messy bedhead. "what did you have in mind?"

“toast and eggs. that’s his favorite, right?”

together, you guide jj through the process—cracking eggs (with minimal shell casualties), buttering toast, arranging everything on a tray. jj insists on carrying it himself, even though it’s almost too big for his small arms. when you reach the bedroom, he marches in proudly, setting the tray on the bedside table with a dramatic flourish.

joe’s eyes flutter open at the sound, and he smiles groggily when he sees jj. "what’s all this, huh?"

"breakfast," jj declares, climbing up onto the bed next to him. "to make you feel better. you gotta eat, daddy, so you can get strong again."

joe chuckles, his voice still a little hoarse. "thanks, bud. this looks perfect."

you watch as jj chatters away, explaining every step of the breakfast-making process in excruciating detail. joe listens, his focus entirely on his son, even though you can tell he’s still not feeling great. it’s a small moment, but it feels like a balm—like the heavy weight of last night is finally starting to lift.

you sit on the edge of the bed, watching the two of them with a quiet sort of gratitude. jj has this way of lighting joe up, of breaking through whatever walls he’s put up, and it never fails to amaze you.

"you’re a good little nurse," joe says, ruffling jj’s hair. "best one i’ve ever had."

jj beams, and you catch joe’s eyes over his head. there’s something unspoken in his gaze—a thank you, maybe, or just a reminder of how much he loves this messy, chaotic little family of yours.

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[thoughtwriter]

about you - a. hill

summary -> arthur hill sings a new song at one of his concerts and it’s clear who it’s about | reader x arthur hill

wc -> 1.7k

masterlist | main masterlist | requests

you don’t even realize how tightly you’re holding your drink until liv nudges your arm, giggling as she leans in.

“he’s gonna kill it,” she says over the crowd noise. “you’re glowing like you’re the one about to perform.”

you laugh, shaking your head. “shut up. i’m just proud, that’s all.”

proud is an understatement. you’ve watched arthur go from playing covers in dusty open mics to selling out small venues like tonight’s show. you’ve been to nearly every one, from grimy basements to tiny backyard stages with broken amps. this one feels different. bigger. louder. real.

and yet, standing here among a few dozen friends and fans, some familiar faces, some strangers, your stomach is fluttering like you’re waiting for something else.

the lights dim.

you see him before anyone else — tall, calm, familiar. arthur. his guitar slung low across his chest, signature flannel sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms. he steps into the light like he doesn’t even notice it.

the crowd roars. you cheer loudest. he looks up. finding you just like he always does.

and smiles. your heart trips over itself.

“hey,” arthur says into the mic, voice low and warm. “thanks for coming out tonight. means everything to me.”

he plays the first few songs you know by heart — august rain, static, lately. you sing every word. he glances at you during every chorus, but you try not to read too much into it. arthur’s always been that way with you. quiet smiles, inside jokes, late-night playlists. intimate in a way that’s never crossed a line. and maybe you’ve loved him a little longer than you care to admit, but being his best friend has always been enough.

or you thought it was.

halfway through the set, arthur steps back from the mic. the stage lights shift to a softer amber. he adjusts the strap on his guitar and clears his throat.

“this next one’s… uh, new,” he says, eyes scanning the crowd. “haven’t played it before. it’s not on the album. i wasn’t sure i ever would, honestly.”

you glance at your friends — liv, issac, george — all of them curious now, leaning in. arthur’s gaze lands on you again. your breath catches.

“it’s… about someone,” he continues, voice a little rougher now. “and… they don’t know.”

a murmur goes through the crowd, the kind that happens when something suddenly feels real. you freeze. you don’t even blink.

then he plays the first chord.

it’s slow. gentle. different than his usual sound. barely a beat behind it, he starts to sing. you forget to breathe.

your friends go still. liv’s eyes flick toward you, then arthur. you don’t look at her. you can’t.

the crowd is dead quiet. arthur doesn’t look at the strings. doesn’t look at the crowd. he’s looking straight at you.

it hits like a wave. like a secret cracking open in front of everyone. your name isn’t in the lyrics, but it might as well be.

liv grips your arm. bach mutters, “holy shit,” under his breath. you don’t answer. you can’t even hear over the roar in your ears.

he keeps playing.

verse after verse, every memory tucked into rhyme. that time you stayed up until 3 a.m. making playlists. that road trip to nowhere. the time you almost kissed and didn’t, and both pretended not to notice.

he remembered it all. he turned it into this. by the time he hits the final chorus, his voice has gone softer. vulnerable.

the final chord rings out. no one claps. they’re too stunned.

and then, slowly, like people waking up from a dream, the crowd starts to cheer. not loud. not wild. just warm and knowing.

you don’t move. arthur takes off his guitar. says a quiet “thank you” into the mic. but his eyes haven’t left you. not once.

after the show. you’re the last one out the door.

he finds you by the loading ramp behind the venue, the city quiet in the way it only is after something huge. the air between you hums with everything unspoken.

he doesn’t say anything at first. you do.

“that song,” you say, voice thin.

“yeah.” arthur’s voice is soft. nervous. your heart pounds. “it’s about me.”

he nods once. “i thought maybe you wouldn’t—” he starts, but you cut him off.

“you could’ve told me.”

“i didn’t know how. i didn’t want to… lose you.” you look at him. really look. he’s not hiding anymore. neither are you.

“i thought i was imagining it,” you say, stepping closer. “all this time.”

“you weren’t.”

you’re so close now, you can feel the warmth radiating off him.

“you sang it in front of everyone.”

“i needed you to know. and i figured if i was gonna blow it… i might as well do it with some style.”

you laugh, almost crying. “god, you’re an idiot.”

he shrugs. “yeah, but i’m your idiot. if you want me to be.”

the silence stretches. he doesn’t push. just waits.

you take a breath. and then—you step into him, arms around his neck, forehead resting against his. he exhales like he’s been holding it in for years.

“you already were,” you whisper. “you just didn’t know.” he smiles, that crooked smile that’s always undone you.

and then, finally, finally— he kisses you. it’s soft and sure, like the first note of a favorite song. one you already know by heart. one that’s only just begun.

first arthur hill fic okay we see me

[cjwritesforyou]

Rain Angels

4-Page Short Story

:)

“O rain, pouring rain!” Leaping into the air, crashing back down to the ground. Now flat on my back and sprawled out spread-eagle on the asphalt. Making rain angels like a kid—a kid that never made a snow angel before, but always imagined it would be just like this but freezing and more snow and more fun. There would be lots of snow. There would be snow deeper than I could stand where snow would be. Where rain would be—here, always here, forever—there was enough of it, but not so much that it could ever quite possibly replicate that white-stuffed-fluff. There was no snow here. Just rain.

The highway came alive tonight, surreal like the first time I walked the length of it. The feeling in the air, the wind, was the same. The feeling that kept me coming back night after night. It was lovely—it really was—but something about this night in particular didn’t sit right in my stomach, despite nostalgia.

Suddenly—a scream. The shriek pierced my ears and my night—ruined in a way I never could have expected. It startled me, and I would have jumped, if not for the weather. The voice wasn’t stopping. It continued crying out, a wail you expected to hear faintly miles away, howling against the dark. It wasn't a pretty voice. It was ugly. It cracked and groaned pathetically. Still it persisted, a matter of time between losing voice or breath. To say the voice was nearby would be an under exaggeration; I peeked up from my artistry to see a silhouette propped up against the outside railing of the freeway bridge. A gaping cavern flooded with forestry draped beneath the viaduct’s arches, like crumbled chandeliers. I imagined what the beautiful scenery below might look like with bright beaming light, which would illuminate each crevice flawlessly. I would have enjoyed the view, but the hour never permitted anything more than darkness. A little moonlight, even a crescent could suffice. On this night, of all nights, not even a spot would show. Not for its darkest hour.

Below, spectacularly towering trees conjured unsettling rustles of wildlife, resonating with the wind’s nudge. Breezes weren’t forceful yet, but rather suggestive. The screaming persisted. Then the voice’s tone grew stronger, and the wind began to flare. Nature assembled in conjunction, orchestrated. A drizzle became a rain, a shower, then a downpour, a hailing hurricane, slammed me to the ground. Tightly. Suffocating. I gasped for breath, wheezed, hyperventilated. The scream roared in the night sky. I processed the noise with what consciousness remained. Seeing below my own torso wasn’t manageable beneath the shield of rainfall. A certain fog of water had encapsulated my body like armor—an armor which seemingly protected me, but not from anyone else. Although I could no longer see the voice’s maker, I knew it still existed, had to exist, for it berated the air, pierced the atmosphere, right before me.

The voice’s tone altered, slightly weakened. I tried tilting my head up at the highway I knew existed, but could not see. I considered my route home. It instigated unease. In such a state, I figured fighting this force was unnecessary. It was uncomfortable. And here I lie, pinned to the pavement, middle of the night-morning, with my rain angels, hoping, not for the storm to cease (because it never does entirely) but to ease up, to let me through. I wasn’t one to pick a fight with nature. The speaker softened steadily. Pressure that weighed me down allieviated. The rain died down. The voice relieved itself, as did the weather. I was released from the floor. Only a small drizzle remained from prior. The figure returned to view, now misplaced in its surroundings, lacking a sheet of water to hide behind. I heard crying as I regained control of myself.

That’s when I considered the voice. I pondered the nature of the voice. I thought about what the voice was doing there, how the voice got there. But it pained me the most as to why the voice existed in the first place. Right here, right now, for what reason? For what purpose?

I sat up, cupped my hands around my mouth like a cone, and howled an outrageous screech. Startled, the figure scanned for an origin. Finding me, flat on the pavement, wasn’t difficult, but drew sensible confusion. The voice was about to speak again, but I took initiative, rose up now, and closed the distance between us. I stopped a few persons length before the figure, and the face followed me thoroughly, looked me up and down, then spun back to face away, to smear the tears.

“You gonna go?” I said, “You gonna jump?” 

“Is that what it looks like?” the voice asked, nervously. 

“What a stupid fucking question,” I said, waiting for a reaction. The voice said nothing. I waited a little longer, still nothing. I continued:

“If it looked that way—then there wouldn’t be anything to see here at all. There would be no need for explanation. It doesn’t matter what it looks like unless it’s real. I would go about my day, and you would not. And everything would stay the way it normally is. If you’re gonna do it, do it. Stop just fucking standing there. Whining and crying and all that. I hate people like you–attention whores.”

I could no longer hear the rain, nor could I hear my own voice. My heart swelled, then exploded, pounded louder than an engine. My words would lose power, would lose weight, if my inwardness persisted. I tried to stay confident, the way my mom taught me. I noticed cuts on the body, and that calmed me down for some reason. They were scattered all over the body in front of me—the kind of cuts you normally never see. Normally hidden under layers of covering, but were visible tonight, like they wanted to be displayed.

“Are you angry?” the voice said.

“Aren’t you freezing?” I replied.

“Does it even matter?” The voice said.

“Obviously it matters.”

“But if I were gone?” an arm emerged and pointed down below, “If I were down there, would it matter?”

“If you’re cold, you’re cold,” I said.

“And if I went, it wouldn’t matter. I would be down there. You would be up here. What’s the difference, really? Cold. Warm. What could you care if I’m cold?”

“What could you care?” I remembered my mom screaming, my dad face to face with her. He was drunk again, always was. I was conditioned to avoid it over time, staying in my room, away from him just as my mom told me. He never came into my room, or ever leave the living room, where he slept, smoked, and drank. I had seen her boiled up before, but not as much as this night. 

We drove home from my school recital that night and I had a big grin of satisfaction and relief on my face. We walked in the door, the hall, then the living room, and that’s when she erupted with anger at the sight of him, drunk off his ass, tobacco stinking the entire house. He lazed about sideways on the sofa, mindlessly watching some old drama. I typically went straight to my room, but that night was different. It had the same wrong feeling in my stomach. She seemed a little angrier than usual, he seemed a little drunker than usual. I pretended to go to my room like usual and instead hid. For what it was worth, I could have stood in plain sight, for they never once cared to look my way.

“I fucking knew it,” she screeched, “For our kid—do you give a single damn for our kid?”

“Obviously I must not,” he said, still watching the television.

“Obviously, for fuck’s sake—for fuck’s sake—for fuck’s sake obviously,” she screamed. She violently grabbed her purse by the strap and slung it and nailed the side of his head. She screamed again, “Is this how you wanted to raise him?” He didn’t react at all. He acted as if he had not actually just been hit by a purse with two bricks directly to the head. He drank some more.

“Is it ‘cus your dad didn’t raise you quite right?’ Huh? ‘Cus you had a fucked-up life?’ So now what? Time to pass off your shit? ‘Cus you’re mad at the fucking world?’ Huh? Are you listening to me?” she said.

He stumbled standing up off the couch and threw his beer across the room. I saw him look my mom dead in the eyes for the first time. Tears flew off her face uncontrollably. He said nothing, but stared. The television’s speaker blared and neither of them took notice. His arm started to twitch. My mother was struck by a hard blow to the temple—she was pummeled onto the carpet. He pulled a bat out from inside the couch, and I ran to my room, hands over my ears. Mom screamed, begged on the floor. I scrambled to lock the door. I hid in the closet corner, underneath mountains of hand-me-downs. She stopped screaming, and I heard nothing but my heartbeat.

“I couldn’t give a damn about you,” I said. 

The voice said nothing. Some time passed without anything happening, and I looked out at the darkness again, expecting to see something even though I knew I couldn’t. The figure got off the guard rail and looked me square in the eyes for the first time. Tears kept parading down, but a smile emerged.

“Thank you. That’s more than enough.” the voice said.

What I saw now was dark, lost eyes. I stared deep into them and found nothing. Those eyes had experienced a lifetime of emotions in too short a distance. And yet, those eyes faced those feelings.

Time began to slow down. When I could see the body moving backwards, leaning, falling, then gone, I didn’t feel a thing. I stared in the same place I had when the eyes were right before me, and that’s when I thought about my dad and my mom and how something never felt right but it felt just like that day. I thought about what it would be like to walk down the highway now, as I normally would, to come back tomorrow, and the next day, and pretend like nothing ever happened. I thought about how my life wouldn’t have to change. How I could keep coming back right here, night after night, and how nothing had to change. I thought about the voice, and placed my hands on the railing. Then my legs hurdled the banister, and I peered over the ledge. Darkness. Nothing had changed. I decided I’d pretend nothing happened and that I would walk down the highway. But instead of turning around, I fell. Head on, head forward. My sensations returned. I heard and felt the rain again, the sensation of being in my own body, and I felt satisfaction and relief. A big grin covered my face. I imagined that some other day, someday far in the future, I might see another person just like myself. I might see that person leaping through the air, crashing to the ground. Walking the highway in the middle of the night-morning through the downpour. And there I’d be, a big grin on my face, watching from above, like a rain angel.

[tartarusknight]

I don't know what you're hunting. It's not me, it's something else - 3/10

Also on ao3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3: An awful noise filled the air. I heard a scream in the woods somewhere

The Cabin was quiet as the radio buzzed to life. El looked away from the map she and Will had been looking at to her dad. “Code Red does anyone come in?” Nancy's voice was static but strong enough to have everyone tense. She looks over to Will, just for a moment. Just for a second of comfort before shit hit the fan once again.

“This is Hopper, we hear ya,” Hopper's voice was gruff and El could see the worry in his stance.

It takes a second for Nancy to respond. Probably less than a second but it feels like forever. “We think that Steve might- Steve's Bimmer is empty on the side of the road. Black blood on the ground and we could hear-” Nancy's voice stops for just a second but El's already looking around for something to create the static for her to look for Steve. “A Demogorgon and screaming,” Nancy's voice was tight.

Will tosses her a sweater she knows is one that Steve must've forgotten one of the last times he had been there. “El wait,” Hopper snapped, making El freeze. “I- I don't think you'll want to look for Steve. Not- you haven't seen the victims of-”

El stares him down, “I have seen death before.”

Hopper looks frantic, “But you haven't seen someone you-”

“I'm home but we need to make a plan.” Nancy's voice is still going on in the background of their staredown. “Robin- she's really out of it. She's barely responding to anything. Mike is trying to figure out something but Dustin's basically mute as well. We're not- I can't do much here.”

El squares her shoulders, “I have to try.” She states and Hopper's gaze washes over her, almost like he was looking for a weakness. El met his gaze, unwilling to show anything. She brings her makeshift blindfold to her room and Will follows. As she sits on the bed, he mimics her. Gently taking the piece of fabric and tying it around her head.

She closes her eyes and calms her body down. Trying to regulate herself; trying to focus. Her grip tightens on the soft sweater. She pictures the babysitter she didn't know nearly as well as she wished she did. She thinks of all the kind words the others say about the man when he wasn't there. How much he meant to the party.

The darkness of her void shifts and she looks around for anything. An ear-piercing scream has her stumbling back. She lands back into the water, her eyes scanning for Steve. The void stays black but the scream was- it sounded like Steve. She just couldn't see him. She pushed up to her feet, “Steve!” She yells into the blackness.

She moves forward, nothing coming into view as she goes. "Anything?" Will asks gently and El doesn't respond. Guilt bubbled up as she continued without success. However, as the scream grows in pitch she sees a big house, Steve's house, and takes off. The screaming isn't closer or further away. As if it was just all around her. El doesn't hesitate to slam into the house.

The area around her doesn't come into view except for glass on the ground. She runs forward and the monstrous roar of the Demogorgon overpowers the screams. “Steve!” She yells again and there's a crunch of glass under her feet. She rushes forward. She sees broken glass sliding doors heading and instantly runs through them. There's nothing out there though. The world stays black and empty around her. However, before she can keep going to find Steve. Something rams into her.

Wet, almost slimy skin touches her. The weight presses her down before she feels fingers curl around her arms. They tighten their grip until claws are sinking into her arms and it feels like its going to break her arms. It roars, the familiar Demogorgon's roar straight into her ears as she screams in pain. “El!” Will's voice breaks through her mind once again. It snaps her into motions and she bellows, making the monster fly back and off of her. It crashes into the side of a shed, the whole thing collapsing on it.

As she rolls to her feet she hears another roar in the distance. An answering call comes from the shed and El feels like something different. "El, what's happening?" Will asks and El takes a step back at the wet rumbling coming from the shed. A scrap of the claws on concrete filled the air as it tried to stand. Blood dripped down El's arms and she blinked as it hit the ground. As if casting a red glow.

A scream pierced the air and she stumbled. It came from the shed and felt like it was being drilled into her skull making her concentration break. It was so filled with pain. As if it was trying to put all that pain into her. And it was a lot of pain. She crumpled in on herself, covering her ears. It didn't stop. She screamed as see felt as if her body shook with the sound. 

Her chest heaved as felt pain running through her body. She glanced down at her arms, but nothing was there. There was a faint ringing in her ears as she pulled off her bandana. The door to her room slams open and she looks over to see her dad and Joyce there. Jonathan is not too far behind them.

She couldn't help but remember defeating the creature the first time. She had been so exhausted it sent her to the Upside Down too. The panic in her friends as she forced herself to wake up and protect them. Of all of the dead military outside of the science room.

Her eyes fill with tears, “I- I couldn't find him.” Her voice breaks and when Will reaches out she takes his hand. Hopper drops down next to her and pulls her into a tight embrace. She feels like a failure. She could only find the thing that- that...

She could feel the group of people in the room break a little at her news. She, herself, broke a little. “You did what you could,” Joyce said, her voice watery.

El shook her head, “We should have made him stay. We should've taken care of him.” She argued and looked away from them to the wall. “All I could do was- was find a monster .” Her hands went to her arms and she kept expecting blood to show but they were unhurt.

“I- I can try again,” her voice shakes but Hopper's already shaking his head. “I have to try again! It's Steve!” She states and everyone looks like they understand but aren't about to let her.

Joyce wipes the blood from her upper lip with her sleeve. Her hand hesitated for a moment before it gently reached toward her ears. El tensed as more blood came away. “We can't let you get hurt either, honey.” She says and El feels like it's unfair. She knows that they expect her to be ready to fight Vecna, to close off the Upside Down. But what were her powers for other than to save her friends?

“You were at the hospital earlier, trying to get through to Max. If you keep going, you'll burn yourself out.” Joyce says and it's soft but it's not what El wants to hear. “We'll make a plan and do it the old-fashioned way.”

Hopper nods, “I'll get Owens on the line and have him send men with the right weaponry to the area. Right now... right now we don't have what it takes to send out a rescue mission.” He says and El squeezes her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. “The woods aren't safe after dark,” he states and she pulls herself from his grip.

She feels a little faint from it all but she refuses to show it. “I try again,” she demands. She holds out her hand to Will who had the blindfold in his hand. “Please,” her voice barely manages to stay strong. Will hands it over with a worried look and she glares at Hopper until he takes a step back.

El returns to her position and closes her eyes.  Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve.  She chants in her head, one hand holding the sweater in her lap. The world shifts until she's in her void. She looks around more frantically than before. “Steve!” She screams and spins around, looking for anything that would lead her to him.

Until she hears a steady drip. It feels like an echo and her entire body tenses up. She slowly turns around and looks around to see a tree. Her hands shake as she moves closer. She can see the droplets hit the water's surface as she draws nearer. Then slowly, she looks up to see a shirt that she remembered Steve in just that night.

The entire right arm of it was stained black like her pink dress had looked after she had been in the Upside Down, only worse. It was so wet that it continued to drip down. Black like the night sky. She reached up and pulled it down. It was torn to pieces and she held it to her chest as she looked around for anything else.

“Steve!” El called out and moved away from the tree. Instead of her babysitter, she hears a chittering that couldn't be described as human. Her throat bobbed and she held onto the shirt tighter. Fear fought with anger as she looked around for the creature.

Fear won over as she heard heavy panting behind her. Everything in her froze as she felt like prey, not for the first time in her life. But this time wasn't different. It wasn't Papa or One's calculating gaze, it was a feral predator on the hunt. El turned around slowly as if not to startle it. A form that looked almost human crawled towards her, looking unnatural on all four. It remained in shadows and she took a small step back. Her hand raised ready to attack when she caught sight of it for the first time.

Eyes so black there was no white left, ears pointed and elongated, with the bottom of the face peeled back to show rows of teeth, drool dripping from its petal face. The dark of the night made the hair on its head look black. Black blood dripped down its neck. It was so monstrous that she couldn't make sense of it. It raised itself onto two legs with ease. Its arms were much longer than they should be.

The creature let out a guttural rumble that had El's chest shaking along with it. It felt like thunder before it opened wide and let out this sound that had her stumbling back. A wail of vocal cords as they were pushed to their limits, going from low like thunder to a hellish screech.

It took her stumble as weakness and dropped onto all fours running at her with an unnatural dash towards her. El threw her arm up and shoved it backward. It let out a wet tittering sound almost like laughter. The hair on her arms stood on end as its shoulders cracked and a loud ripping sound came from its body. Flesh squelched and tore.

“Eleven,” the word torn from the figure like an anguished wail, more pained than anything she'd heard before. Another another eerie laugh broke from the creature as it shifted onto its feet. She locked her gaze on the monster and saw blood dripping from its eyes, almost like tears. The petals, made of pale skin fluttered, black liquid dripping down its neck.

She felt sick looking at this creation. Something that had to have been human at one point. No stretched and molded into this abomination. The eyes were pitch black, still bleeding as its back seemed to self-mutilate. She gripped the sweater and shoved her hand forward, trying to push it back again. Only this time, it didn't move. It stayed in place, wet garbles coming from its mouth as it changed.

A sharp bone broke from the skin of its back, ripping what was left of the shirt it had on. Its own bone rending its flesh. As it let out another horrifying sound, El ran. Away from the sight, away from the predator. Away from the monster, her breath catching.

Her feet splashed against the water on the ground but it was overpowered by the roar the creature let out. No doubt, on her trail. As the creature screamed behind her, she found herself snapping back into her body. Her breathing was harsh as she pulled off the blindfold.

Tears filled her eyes as the fear seeped from her bones. Her entire body was trembling as the creature played like a movie on the back of her eyelids. Her family watched her closely. And she reached toward Hopper with a shaky hand. Hopper moved quickly, pulling her into an embrace.

“El? Did you find Steve?”

The creature lunged. I turned and ran. To save a life I didn't have (In the Woods Somewhere - Hozier) Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Tags: @ellietheasexylibrarian @nburkhardt @artiststarme @flowers-that-sing @juleswashere3 @indiearr @remosdeerica

[noclassact]

Everything is simultaneously happening all too quickly and yet not enough, not nearly enough: the pressure of Felix's knee sweet but dull through layers of fabric, the little noises escaping his mouth like electricity playing across Rhys' nerves but so, so frustratingly quiet. When Felix pulls away again, Rhys lets out an embarrassingly pained noise, almost chasing after his stupid mouth again with his own until he hears the telltale gentle clink of his belt coming undone. That stops him right in his fucking tracks; he's torn between watching Felix's long, clever fingers moving against him or that heady expression on Felix's face as he gets a proper look at his cock. It's almost unreal that Felix Catton could react like that over anything or anyone, least of all Rhys and his body. Every ounce of blood in said body somehow gets heavier, hotter, louder at the very thought. Practically roaring in his ears. "Jesus, Felix, what are you on about," Rhys starts to say, looking at him in a daze, but anything else coherent he might have to add simply evaporates into the ether because Felix is suddenly on his bloody knees in front of him. For him. If his brain wasn't already cracked from the moment Felix put his hand on his prick, this display surely would have broken it instead. "Oh," he says instead, and then, softly, deeply, near involuntarily, "Ohhh." It's not that Rhys hadn't actually meant the Felix could do whatever he wanted to him, it's just that he hadn't ever considered Felix would want to shove an entire cock in his mouth. And he does, apparently, very much so. Is in fact doing his best to get him all the way down, even though Rhys can immediately tell that he's going at it wrong when Felix's eyes get wet and his face scrunchy. God, but he's so eager and clumsy in a way that shouldn't make Rhys' heart feel like melted wax in his chest, because it's also somehow the sexiest thing he's ever experienced. Slippery heat and the dark flutter of Felix's dewy lashes and the stretch of his pretty mouth and deliciously wet noises. His hand goes into Felix's hair then, not to pull on nor stop him, just gingerly pushing it back away from his face, biting his tender lower lip as he watches. In the distance Rhys hears the echo of a door shutting and it's as if someone abruptly dumped an entire bucket of ice water on him. The reality of the situation slides into painful, crystal-clear focus. Felix Catton on his knees, blowing a footman, in the bloody corridor, where anyone could walk by and see them. Unfortunately, that does make his idiotic dick twitch hard in Felix's mouth anyway, but in the next moment he's grabbing Felix by the back of his shirt and unceremoniously yanking him onto his feet. "Fuuuck," he breathes, pushing his face into Felix's shoulder with a little groan. "We can't, we can't, not here."

felix's experience with other men was few and far between, limited to listening in on the discrete handjobs his peers gave each other at boarding school and turning a blind eye to anything beyond that. he can't open pandora's box right now, not when rhys is flush against him and sharing breath, looking at him with eyes so dark felix doesn't know how he can even see. "whatever i want?" felix repeats, breath hitching when rhys rucks up the fabric of his shirt to expose the sunkissed muscle of his chest, grinding his knee against the growing hardness between rhys' legs. everything about this was ill-advised, felix having gone to making inappropriate jokes that didn't land about fraternizing with the help to now trying to fuck the newest member of their staff. that wasn't even touching on their complicated friendship, mind you. but rhys is kissing him like he wants to eat him, felix's reason slipping away with every swipe of tongue and press of lips. he breaks away from rhys' mouth for a moment, long fingers loosening the buckles on his belt before unzipping the fly on rhys' pants, palming the tenting arousal through the fabric of his underwear. felix nudges the waistband down slightly, just enough to expose rhys' cock to the outside air, letting out a sharp and shaky breath in response to the sight. "ha, fucking hell. rhys," he kisses him again, tugging the swell of rhys' bottom lip between his teeth, watching him through dark lashes. "shit. let me have you first, let me taste you, and then you can decide if you hate me. just, i don't know, pull my hair if it's too much and i'll stop," he reassures softly, voice rough with arousal. rhys had made it pretty clear that he wouldn't be wanting felix to stop, but he doesn't want there to be any misunderstanding or regret. not when he's already so eager to be forgiven, to be back in rhys' good graces by any means necessary. felix drops to his knees, spitting into the center of his palm before he wraps it around the shaft of rhys' cock, stroking him from root to tip. this hadn't been the apology felix initially had in mind when thinking about how to get back on rhys' good side, but he supposes it's as good as any. he's inexperienced, but he's sincere and wants too much to let that stop him, pushing the tip of rhys' cock past the seam of his lips. he shields his teeth behind his lips and dutifully bobs his head, trying to find the right balance of saliva and suction as he gets acclimated to it. felix's eyes sting with tears when rhys' cock nudges the back of his throat, reflexively swallowing around him. he had received plenty of blowies in his lifetime, but fuck, felix had no idea how to give decent head.

[toji-bunny-girl]

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐲𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝 𝐀𝐔...

Fighting Bull!Midoriya who you managed to save from a bull fighting breeder before he gets sent into the ring with another bloodthirsty animal, buying the green hair’s life with most of the money in your bank account and he looks at you with his watery eyes; warm chested within and thanking you with all of his heart.

Fighting Bull!Midoriya who’s all sorry eyes and lowering head the first few days in your apartment. He’s so huge that the couch sinks below his weight and he has to crouch a little in order to get through the doors.  

Fighting Bull!Midoriya who, to you, doesn’t seem to be one of his breed at all. With his fluffy coat and adorable plushy cheeks, there was no way that the sweetest little boy could be a savage that could heartlessly kill another of his own kind. 

And he shows you, all wide shoulders and toned muscles beneath his skin, that he’s no where near that idea you had of him with his cute little nose and innocent wide eyes at the world. And you finally get it when he’s shoving the half of his cock into your tight little hole, too big and too deep for a human like you, all whiny and sobbing and pretty just for him. 

German Shepherd!Bakugou who works as a police dog investigator and is the grumpiest, meanest hybrid that every other officer hybrid hides away from. He hates his job and the dangers that comes with it, occasionally getting hurt and having scars all over his body until one day where he visits a new vet that makes his work all worth it. 

German Shepherd!Bakugou who’s all amused when he notices how much of a giant he is compared to you, paws that are so much bigger than your soft little hands when you check for them, towering build over your adorably short height when you bandage his wounded torso and when you need to tug his collar lower to your stature in order to see the insides of his pointy ears. 

German Shepherd!Bakugou with his fluffy mixed brown-blonde ears, softly twitching towards each little noise he hears, each little noise out of your gasping and moaning lips as his tongue reaches deep into your cunt, lapping for more of your taste until you shakily tug at his collar, begging the pussy-addict pup to stop but how could he, when you taste so good?

Jaguar!Shoto with his rare white fur and special red spots over his body and his piercing heterochromatic eyes, glaring at everything upon his sight as he considers whether to feast or to be merciful. 

Jaguar!Shoto who hates it the most when he sees anyone else with you, growls and snarls and does absolutely anything he could to warn the unwanted strangers away from the two of you. And when you're finally alone and together, he’s a whole new kitty in front of your presence; rubbing his cheeks against you and purring to your every pettings.

Jaguar!Shoto who gives kitten licks to your blushing, sensitive clit from while his nails dig into the flesh of your thighs and eyes train themselves onto your whiney little features, his pretty lips slurping up the squirts of your essence when you couldn’t help but cum for the sixth time. 

African Lion!Enji with his beautiful reddish-black mane that is full of knots he couldn’t care less to deal with and his deep, booming roar, dominating and commanding the whole room to his every word as he crowns as the alpha within his pride.

African Lion!Enji who found you, a lone lioness-hybrid who’s all healthy and fetching and in need of a pride male to protect you, fight off any other lions and rule over a territory completely safe at all times; and Enji was just the perfect mate. 

African Lion!Enji who’s all testy and frowny face until the scent of you in heat fills his head and he couldn’t stop mating with you, heavy balls slapping your skin as he pumps load after load of his seeds deep inside of you for days, the thought of you round with his cubs rousing him up to have his semen drooling out of your poor, twitching cunt.  

part ⅱ in progress

© toji-bunny-girl ― all rights reserved. do not modify, translate, plagiarise or repost my work

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)

[kyberphilosopher]

Fensterln

“I can’t get up. You’re sitting on top of me.”

Warning(s): some allusions to sex, explicit-ish language, fluff, reader has a whole ‘Black Cat’ thing going on. Word Count: 3273

Notes: This is a requested work. This is a headcanoned canon version of Superboy, meaning he is no version in particular and simply the character I figure as a whole. Reader can be any gender.

“Fensterln is when you have to climb through someone’s window in order to have sex with them, without their parents knowing about it.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You know, most people think that climbing up the side of a building is easy. Like it’s nothing. They see it on TV, and in the movies, and in cartoons even, and they think, “That doesn’t look so bad!” because it doesn’t. Cartoons and actors don’t have to deal with the wind whipping their hair, constantly pushing their whole body all around, the butterflies of anxiousness making their heart thump, threatening the scenario of falling to their death. It’s terrifying. It takes a lot of skill, a lot of courage, and a lot of luck. 

“Shit.”

Your right hand releases from the glass, arm slowly swinging back until it’s at your side. The same sides foot follows this pattern of rotation, until only your left fingertips and toes are stuck to the wall of the building, suctioning you to life. Below you, hundreds and hundreds of feet, is an island of grass and sand, encompassed by a large body of water. Over the tidal waves chip chopping away, there’s a distance. And in that distance, is the city, just under the inky blackness of the midnight sky. 

Jump City, it’s called. You’re not too familiar with it. Most of your time is spent in Metropolis, or Gotham. Luckily, both of those cities have plenty of skyscrapers to practice scaling. One could say that you’d perfected the art of this sort of thing. The finger pads on your suit are sophisticatedly sticky, seamlessly letting you latch onto anything with grace. Your feet are the same. 

The wind hits your face like sharp needles, amplified by the cold air and the incline. Your hair whips around wildly, also different from how it flows, softly, in the movies. The harsh breeze roars in your ears, louder than the thousands of explosions you’ve heard in your lifetime. Although dangerous, nothing beats the view. Those thousands of lights in the distance, the cars, the buildings, this building that you’re on now. Titan’s Tower is far larger and closer and more important than anything else at the moment. 

“Okay then,” you mutter, twisting your body over to the right twice more, until finally both hands and feet are connecting against the glass in a stealthy, perfect crawling position. 

You work your way up, one foot and hand at the time. You resemble that of a spider, or perhaps a cat. One, two. One, two. 

His room is on one of the top floors, if not the top floor. From the two other times that you’ve done this, you remember the number of steps, the distance, the little cracks in the glass panes to look for so you know you’re close. Even from the outside, hundreds of feet up, hanging above death tantalizingly, you know exactly where you are and where you need to be. And you know, of course, that you are close. 

Your right hand leaves the wall once more and reaches down to the belt on your hips. “Coming, my love,” you mutter as you flip open a small pouch attached. From the inside you pull out a slim switchblade, made specifically to cut through glass walls like this- designed it yourself. 

The knife springs open. In a circle big enough to fit your entire body, you trace the blade in a wide arc from up to down, left to right. Then you flip the blade back inside, place the whole thing back into the pouch on the belt, and shove your left elbow against the middle of the glass in front of you. 

It pops free immediately. The circle of wall falls forward into the room, with you not far behind.

Landing like a gymnast on your toes with your arms overhead, you are immune to the sharp pain in your femurs that comes from a sudden pressure like this. The glass pane is still intact on the floor ahead of you, which is coated with a red carpet that you recognize so well. It’s much warmer inside than it was outside, although you can still feel the night wind from behind you.

“Silent,” a voice remarks from beside you. It’s not an amused tone, really. It’s genuine and full of awe, surrounded by something casual. 

You hum as you stand before throwing a look over your shoulder. Sure enough at your back, splayed casually on a bed against the wall you just broke through, is your favorite boy toy. Dark, curly hair framing his classically handsome face, nose scrunching slightly on instinct. He’s wearing the black and red super shirt he always does, coupled with the plaid pajama bottoms you’d gotten him as a gift in spring.

You want so badly to quip something back, but you both know you can’t right now. Not when you’re so close to the door. And yeah, that’s partially Conner’s fault, if not all. Too much noise would attract the attention of his team mates, the Titans, and then something probably not that great would happen. Maybe they’d throw you out. Maybe they’d fire him. Maybe things would just get weird. It’s not as if you and Connor are an official couple, even after all this time. You could stop sneaking around to see each other at any sense of danger.

You take a step towards the bed he lays on, noting the big, bright smile that lights up Superboy’s face at the motion. “Can you fix the hole?” you whisper, just loud enough for him to hear.

Conner’s eyes go wide and the smile gets bigger.

“In the wall.”

The smile turns into an eye roll. “Yes,” he sighs, almost dramatically, pushing himself up. The boy crosses to the center of the room a few feet from you and begins picking up the perfect circle of cut window- wall while you look around the area.

You’ve snuck into Conner’s room before. Twice, in fact. It’s not clean, not horribly messy. His leather jacket is usually hanging off the dresser or door handle. Sweatshirts of different colors are littering the floor in a collective pile. It looks like a normal teenage boys room, really. It just feels very ‘Conner’.

First, he pushes the glass back into place in the wall, then he takes a few steps back. You throw him a smirk, nudging your head to encourage him to do the thing.

Conner’s eyes heat up. Little at first, as a soft yellow. Then into an all consuming scarlet that hisses out in two beams meeting in the middle between them. They move in a circle around the pane until you can’t even tell it was ever not there, and the wind you once heard no longer exists. The wall is perfectly in tact.

“Thank you, Superboy,” you tell him, tone laced overly sweet. Your hands, freezing from the cold even through the gloves of your costume, wrap around Conner’s upper arm.

“Yeah,” he tosses, back, voice low. His cheeks are turning pink.

You unhook your arms and saunter over to his mattress. As you throw yourself on and relax as you sink into the pillows, you let your eyes close. “You’re lucky I like you so much,” you tease. “Mm, do you know a lot of people who would climb up the Tower for you? I don’t.”

Upon hearing him take a single step forward, one eye pops open. “I know you missed me,” you continue.

Conner lays himself on the bed beside you, hands behind his bed with his arms bent. You turn to face him, propping your head up with your palm.

“You never answer my texts,” Conner says, Adam’s apple bobbing.

“You text me?” you smirk, watching Superboys eyes sink close as he releases a sigh of defeat.

Your left leg slips over Conner’s hips. Then you pull your whole body up and over into a straddle over him, looking down at him. He’s handsome in the way nobody can argue with, so perfect and soft and structured. When you squint, he looks like Superman. But Conner’s not Superman, he’s better. You can’t explain why, or how, but he just is.

You place your palms forward on his chest at first, then backwards, behind your back, on Conner’s thighs. Your chest puffs out at the slight change of position.

Below you, the boy bites his lower lip softly in thought for a second. “What if I got you a phone?” Conner asks you. His light eyes holding yours through thick, dark lashes. “Just so you can text me back sometimes?”

“Us?” you gasp with wide eyes. “Talking? During the daytime?”

Conner glances away. “Message received. Very funny. Forget it.”

“I’m messing with you,” you promise with a smile. “Loosen up Super-Annoy.”

“So you’ll let me get you one?” Conner pushes himself up with a snap, eyes wide with some kind of excitement.

Well… would you? You haven’t had a lot of long term partners, if any. Your time with Conner has been the longest with anyone, and he’s not even really your boyfriend. He’s just… you know… the guy you kissed on a rooftop one night. The guy who once surprised you with a cone of ice cream, again on a night time rooftop, whilst you were sitting on the side of the building to watch the city below. The guy who remembered your birthday, the guy who keeps sending you the many, many texts reminding you that you can watch your favorite show on the TV in the tower. The guy who once lied to get you to ice skate with him.

Something about Conner has been enough to keep you hooked for months and months, always coming back. Sneaking into the Tower, taking more and more trips to Jump City, keeping notes of events throughout your week to tell him about when you see him. 

How silly. Never giving the time of day to any other partner of yours, but for Conner? Conner has gotten at least eight months of it. 

“I’ll think about it,” you roll your eyes. 

“You promise?” Conner urges. 

“Yes. Jeez, I promise. I will think about letting you get me a phone that only you have the number to.”

“Please don’t laugh at me about this.”

“I’m not laughing at you.”

“It feels like it.”

“Connor,” you clasp a hand on his shoulder, pushing back laughter. “Have I ever laughed at you?”

“W- Is that- is that a serious question?” Conner’s eyebrows raise. 

“Get up,” you roll your neck. “I want to change positions.”

The boy below you shifts. For a quick moment, something pokes between your hips from underneath. Your pupils dilate in response, but by the time they finish, the movement has ceased. “Tell me about your day.”

“I want to lay down,” you say as you stretch. “I just scaled up the side of the skyscraper-”

“You love it.”

“-and it was oh, so cold. I’m tired.”

“That’s not your day.”

You just stare at him expectantly, not quite sure what it is you’re waiting for. 

“I can’t get up. You’re sitting on top of me,” Conner concedes. “You chose to be up there.”

“Prove it,” you challenge.

“Yeah, yeah,” the boy below you hisses as if annoyed. “I get it,” he says, but his arms are already snaking around your torso to pull you close and slowly pull you into a new position. 

You lay on your side, back against Conner’s broad chest. His arms stay wrapped around your middle as he curls up against you on instinct, legs quick to tangle with your own. You know he must really be interested in you if he’s not going to mention that your ‘work’ shoes are still on while in bed. 

“You’re an ass,” he mutters into your hair. 

“What was that?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Ha,” you chuckle once. “Douche.”

“Please tell me about your day now?” you hear Conner almost plead. “Please?”

One of your hands, your right one, rests on top of Conner’s against your stomach. “Oh, you know. The usual. I helped out a small jewelry store today, snuck into a big building, currently hiding from Nightwing- you know how it is.”

“There wasn’t much crime today. I mostly just stayed in. You know that big building you snuck into?”

“Such a douche,” you breathe.

“Jealous much?” Superboy rumbles against your ear. 

“I’m gonna tell Dick,” you tell him. “I’ll send an anonymous tip that one of the Titan’s is a big poop face.”

Conner puts his whole face in your hair. “Shiver me timbers.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s not fair you guys get a whole building to yourselves. What are you even using half these floors for? People in Gotham are struggling.” You frown. “Well, except for Wayne. But you know what? He’s a douche too. You’d get along.”

Conner squeezes you once. Then you feel him still from behind you, not even breathing. And then-

“Move in then.”

At once, your brows furrow. “What?”

Your companion squeezes you once more. “Move in. Move in with me. In the Tower.”

Your mouth opens and closes a couple times, eyes looking around. You can’t see Conner, but you can feel him out. His eyes are closed, still inhaling the scent of you shamelessly. It’s hard for people to catch you off guard, not just like this, but at all. You just have that sarcastic, witty, sultry reputation. And for him- Super-Annoy, of all people- to just throw you off so easily?

“I’m not a Titan,” you decide on explaining, almost asking. 

“Become one, then.”

“I don’t have the money to move in. The rent must be crazy.”

“I’ll pay for you.”

“Conner,” you swallow. “This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking.” His head pops up. When you turn yours a little, you can look up at him, and he can look down at you. “Move into the Tower.”

Now your eyes are wide, and his are relaxed. No, Conner’s are focused, drilling into your own. “I’m... hardly Titan’s material.”

This was true. You’ve been skirting the gray line far longer than you’ve known Superboy, and he’s been super since the beginning of his creation. The first time you’d met was about ten seconds before you’d robbed a bank and sent him a wink before disappearing. 

“You just told me, not five minutes ago, that you helped a small business. Helping people is what heroes are all about. You can do this, Y/N. You are Titan’s material.”

Shit. He’s right. 

“Why not?” Conner questions. 

“I... um...”

You’ve never lived with another person before. Your family, once upon a time, sure. Not friends. Not Dick Grayson, or Kori, or Rachel fucking Roth. And certainly not Superboy- Super-Annoy. Not someone you have a ‘thing’ with. What would that mean for the two of you? And when things go terribly, terribly wrong, what then?

Gotta’ think fast. 

Your face is wiped clean, replaced by your signature smirk. “Get me a phone first. Then I’ll consider it.”

Conner doesn’t budge though. You wonder if X-Ray vision can see through lies too. “I mean it,” the boy tells you. “I want you here.”

“I have to survive the night in the building with boy prodigy and star flame.”

“Starfire.”

“Whatever. I have to do that first. There’s a reason we sneak me in, you know.”

Your free hand reaches up and cups Conner’s cheek without you telling it to. You ask your brain why, but yet, your palm doesn’t move. It feels over Conner’s cheekbones, encouraging you to look deeper into his somehow soft eyes. Your fingertips can even feel his hair, which is in need of a wash, as they get comfortable. 

“For you,” you finish the sentiment, voice now genuine- also not predicted. “Sneaking in for you.”

“I don’t want you to feel like a secret,” the boy above you whispers, pouring his entire heart into it. 

You answer with a snort. 

If anything, Conner’s the secret. If he had his way, the two of you would probably be on your honeymoon at this moment. Hell, your whole relationship and subsequent marriage would be a honeymoon. You’re the one letting him follow you around. You’re the one never giving him just what he wants. 

But then again, you’re the one who keeps coming back. Conner’s the one that never left. 

“Trust me,” you nod with a humored grin. “I don’t.”

Conner sighs and falls back down to rest behind  you. “Good.”

Besides his breathing, then there is silence. 

Really? Telling you to move in? Of course it doesn’t seem like such a big deal to him. Of course he has the solution to all the reasons why not. Your fairly certain that Conner hasn’t thought about this until mentioning it, but even then, how did he have all the answers so fast? Where would you stay? With him? Sandwiched between Conner and Wally West playing video games for the rest of your life? Dying after Donna Troy catches you accidentally stealing her lunch?

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Conner begins, “but you should really stay the night.”

In response, you practically burst. “You hate being told what to do!” you say as you squirm in his arms. “Now you’re giving me suggestions?”

Conner sits up again so he can look down at you with a little frown. Luckily, it’s too nice of a view to be really scared of anything he could do. “Shh! You’re gonna get caught, Y/N.” Then Superboy’s eyes widen a little. “If you lived here, you wouldn’t have to be so quiet, either. You could just come through the front door.”

“Oh my God,” you squeeze your eyes closed. “Conner...”

One battle at a time. 

“Fine,” you begrudge. “I’ll stay the night.”

Conner tightens his grip around your form happily in response. “Will you need any help in the morning?”

“No. No, I got it.”

Silence. 

Say it. Say it. Say it. 

“Conner? I, uh...”

Say it. 

“I don’t have any sleeping clothes,” you lie. 

“Sleeping?” you hear the boy behind you whisper. “I didn’t think we were going to be sleeping.”

“Now who’s going to get us in trouble?” you smirk. “Seriously though. I’ve been wearing my suit all day.”

“I can get you out of it.”

“You can’t just see through it?” you question. “Don’t you have X-Ray vision?”

Conner groans. “You’re ruining it.”

You smile. Conner’s the only partner of yours you realize you’re actually happy to be around. “I think you just want us to get caught.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Yayyy. Request finished. Next I have a Reverse Flash request, and then I should be good with the DC requests for now. Other than that I have some Jason Todd things, something for Damian and 2 fics for a character I haven’t written for before but are looking pretty good. I hope this satisfied the prompt that I was given in the request. Let me know anything you want or whatever. 

[cinnaminsvga]

a love that endures | Yoongi

→ summary: 

“Oh come on! Just go say hi to him already,” Seokjin huffs. He wiggles his eyebrows, striking you with the urge to shave them off in retaliation. “I could feel your ‘God, I miss his dick’ vibes from across the room!”

“I do not emit dick thirst vibes,” you respond hotly, swatting him in the tit. You pause, considering. “Wait, but do you think he misses my p—”

“Say no more,” Seokjin interrupts, a wicked smirk gracing his lips. His gaze is fixed somewhere behind you, but you have a sinking suspicion you know why he looks like he’s won the lottery. “Speaking of the devil, look who’s coming over to say hello!”

{or alternatively: Yoongi and Y/N. Y/N and Yoongi. High school sweethearts that were never meant to last, until a reunion ten years later manages to reignite a flame that never quite burnt out.} 

→ genre: high school reunion!au, exes to lovers, fluff, humor, minor angst �� warnings: shy!yoongi and shy!oc live rent free in my brain, mutual pining is poggers, hoseok and seokjin aren’t evil for once in a cinnaminsvga fic, implied smut so it’s pg-13 because i’m a wimp → words: 14.4K → a/n: SHE’S ALIVE!! this is dedicated to @himbeaux-joon​ who commissioned this piece ages ago. thank you again for requesting this because this was honestly so much fun to write. i’ve been in a bit of writing slump these past few weeks but this fic came out so easily and got way longer than expected (perhaps because it’s about yoongi and he’s always been the easiest one to write for me). enjoy!! ;o;

The mere sight of him is enough to knock the wind out of you.

Your body freezes, the hand curled around your paper cup filled with punch tightening ever so slightly. It isn’t like you’re surprised that he came; you aren’t supposed to be. Of course, you should have expected his arrival, but you’ve been hoping all night that he might have been too busy to attend.

He isn’t even on time—it has almost been two hours since the event started and you had been filled with a false hope that perhaps he had RSVP’d and decided he couldn’t make it. 

You had seen Hoseok, his best friend from your younger days, standing outside the entrance of the ballroom before they had started letting people in. The moment Hoseok saw you, he immediately came over to sweep you into a tight hug, his infectious laughter ringing in your ears. He had greeted you happily, expressing how much he missed you since high school, but never once bringing up the elephant in the room.

It wasn’t like you were going to bring him up first. No, that would be weird on your part. Nevermind the fact that going to high school reunions was a recipe for reliving past traumas and seeing all your childhood friends either married or pregnant—you weren’t going to be that person who asked where their ex was. You refused to be the person craning their neck to spy on the entrance every two minutes, hoping to catch sight of an old familiar face.

The problem is that you are that person, and you kind of hate yourself for it. However, it is also the reason why you are probably the only person in the entire ballroom who notices his quiet arrival.

He has never liked causing commotions, which is often apparent from the way he conducts himself. He walks into the room just as a loud round of applause breaks out; an old schoolmate of yours is walking up to the podium, probably the person who had arranged the get-together in the first place. It is a perfect distraction for him as he slinks past the door, keeping near the wall so as not to be seen by anyone just yet.

(Except he has been seen—he just doesn’t know it yet.)

You do not know for how long you stare at him, just that it takes you a moment to realize you haven’t taken a breath since he stepped foot into the same space as you. You take a deep, shuddering breath, forcing your racing heartbeat to calm down. You swallow thickly, throat so unbearably dry that even drinking from your lukewarm cup of punch doesn’t seem to do anything.

But the undeniable truth is there, standing only a few meters away from you, and nothing on earth will be able to wash away the nerves flooding through your system.

After ten years of radio silence, Min Yoongi is in your orbit once again.

In the grand scheme of things, ten years wasn’t all that long. Four years in university had passed by in a blur, and the absolute chaos that ensued right after you graduated as you scrambled to secure a job and move out of your hometown had made the days seem shorter than they actually were. You had not even noticed that time was passing until you found that cream envelope waiting for you one day after work, your alma mater’s school crest painfully recognizable even after all these years.

During all that time, the world around you shifted without you noticing, and that meant people were changing too.

Yoongi is 28 now. And so are you, after many months of denial. You have not seen each other since you were both 18—both of you far too young to know about any of the things you would experience in the next ten years.

He might have grown a little taller since then, something you are sure that your brother will find amusing. His hair isn’t dyed like you remembered, as he has opted to keep it his natural dark black that you have not seen since you were both in middle school. It’s styled differently too: combed over and gelled back, with his bangs pushed back and his forehead exposed. When he turns his head to the side, a gasp spills past your lips before you can stop it.

“Is that a fucking undercut?” you mutter in shock, your eyes straining out of their sockets as you try to drink him in. Even under the dim lighting of the ballroom, his new haircut is hard to miss. No one else seems to be undergoing the same mental collapse as you, judging by how everyone’s attention is still fixated on the person speaking at the podium. How the hell is no one else losing their fucking minds to the sight of Min Yoongi with a fucking undercut? Some questions are impossible to answer, you surmise.

When you decided to attend the reunion, you had not once thought about how Yoongi would look like. Somehow, you had developed this stagnant picture of him in your head, even after all these years. To you, he will always be the boy with the stark blonde hair, the mismatched eyelids, the pouty lips, the dumpling cheeks. He is the boy who can’t wear his own contact lenses to save his life, the boy who sometimes wears his favorite leather jacket to sleep, the boy who only drinks Americanos like it was water.

Gone are those days, you realize. That image of him has been smashed to pieces, instead replaced by this dashing (and incredibly hot) man—a stranger. A stranger with unbleached (and healthy) hair, a jawline sharp enough to cut glass. He has his glasses kept away, and there is no leather jacket in sight.

But you can see him, if you look hard enough. The same spark in his eye, the same curve of his lips. You catch him smiling for a second, and his cheeks still puff up like dough. Maybe it’s just hopeless thinking, but you see him. It’s still him. To you, he will always be your 18-year-old Min Yoongi, the one who would greet you with a sweet kiss on the forehead every time you would—

Raucous applause breaks you from your train of thought, and you blink rapidly in surprise. You have to forcibly pull yourself out of your Yoongi-induced trance, clapping alongside everyone without really knowing what was going on. All of the extra noise sounds like buzzing in your ears, especially when it is drowned out by the roar of your blood rushing to your head all at once.

“Once again, I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight. We will begin the program right after dinner, so please feel free to help yourselves to the buffet! Cheers everyone!” You faintly hear your old schoolmate speak, before her voice is quickly overrun by the commotion of people walking over to the extravagant display of food. It takes a moment for the crowd of heads to disperse, so when you can finally look back to where you last saw Yoongi, he is no longer alone.

Hoseok has his arm slung around Yoongi, his infectious laughter loud enough to be heard over clinking plates and silverware. The two are as different as night and day, with Hoseok practically bouncing from excitement and Yoongi rolling his eyes from annoyance. But it is easy to see that his pout is nothing but a ruse; you can already catch the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips.

You feel your own seams breaking, unwittingly sporting a grin of your own. It is nice to know that Yoongi hasn’t been alone all this time, that he still seems close with his old best friend. You cannot count the number of friendships that you have lost over time, and you still grieve many of them during your quiet moments. Alas, it was often never even anyone’s fault, the strains of adulthood often being the biggest deal breakers in your relationships.

That is, of course, except for one.

“Enjoying yourself? I didn’t think we’d share the same voyeuristic tendencies,” says a voice, creeping up behind you. Now, normal people would not usually expect other sane people to invade your personal space and breathe directly into your ear, but that’s just your humble opinion. What you do know is that one certain individual enjoys breaking the mold when it comes to societal norms, and it is none other than…

“Jesus fucking Christ!” You shriek, nearly sucker-punching the offending degenerate in the face. You hold back your fist from connecting with his face, but your resulting irritation remains. Whether that irritation is because you regret holding back or not will unfortunately also have to remain unanswered. “Oh God, it’s you.”

“Oh, no need for that. Most people usually call me Seokjin,” he snickers, thoroughly enjoying your flushed face. Kim Seokjin pats you on the shoulder, his trademark “pretty boy” smile still as radiant as you remembered. It does nothing to quell your urge to raise your fists again, however. “Hello, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here!”

“The feeling is not mutual,” you snort. Much like how Yoongi was with Hoseok, your derision is nothing but a rouse. As much as you want to kick Seokjin in the nuts, you also cannot ignore how much you want to hug him the slimy bastard—but you definitely will not be the first one to admit it. So like the tsundere that you are, you decide to insult him instead. “Why are you here? You’re not even from this class. Don’t you have other things to do? Or rather, people to do?”

“My heart! You wound me,” he gasps, grasping his chest as though he’d been shot. “How could you say that to your best friend in the entire world? Don’t you know how much I missed you?”

“Easy. I do it because the only other alternative would lead me straight to prison,” you shrug, but your grin betrays you.

This time, you don’t jolt away when he closes in for a hug. “And I guess I miss you too,” you say, your words slightly muffled into his chest. Like always, he sees through your prickly act because as much as you like to pretend, Kim Seokjin is kind of amazing—loose bolts and all.

“It’s nice to know that your tongue hasn’t lost its edge, though I suppose I wouldn’t be intimately knowledgeable in that area. After all, I still am very much a raging homosexual and pussy isn’t really my forte,” Seokjin guffaws, his volume causing a few nearby guests to raise their heads in alarm.

You bow at them, sheepishly apologizing on his behalf before grabbing him by the collar.

“Will you stop being embarrassing for just one second? I swear, I thought I retired from my babysitting job when I graduated high school,” you hiss, but the way his mouth curls up with mischief is answer enough. God, you missed this son of a bitch.

“Unfortunately for you, being a pest is part of my DNA,” he smirks, carefully plucking your hands off from his neck, as though your nails were not mere inches away from ripping his trachea into pieces. “Though, I am offended by your assumption that I am still the same slut that you knew. I’ve grown up a little, you know! I’m a changed man!”

“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you of all people have settled down,” you laugh, not missing the way Seokjin’s perfectly stenciled brow raises slightly.

“I know we haven’t seen each other since Christmas, but come on Y/N! You of all people should be applauding me for my improved behavior! You must have noticed how much I changed when I visited.”

“When you visited me last Christmas, you immediately insulted my taste in kitchen towels, went on Grindr to find a hookup despite my numerous pleas, and promptly desecrated my guest bedroom that no housekeeper or priest is willing to exorcise to this day,” you gag, shuddering at the memory. “And then you ate all my ice cream and proceeded to clog my toilet!”

“Um? Aren’t you forgetting that I also bought you that dress you wanted? Rude,” Seokjin retorts, not the least bit remorseful. “Well, that’s what you get for agreeing to be my best bitch for life. You know that I take pinky promises very seriously.”

Unfortunately, he does take his promises seriously. It is probably the only thing he’ll ever be serious about, as much as the man enjoys parading his depravity. “Okay, whatever. I’ll bite. Who’s the unlucky man you’ve managed to deceive into a relationship?”

“Oh, it’s someone we both used to know. I’m his plus one for tonight,” he says, supplying you with the most useless non-answer imaginable.

“Seokjin. We’re at a high school reunion. We know everyone here. That could be anyone!” you exclaim.

“Well, isn’t that fun? Then we can do a scavenger hunt!” Seokjin grins, clapping his hands together excitedly. He pulls you in front of him, forcing the two of you to survey the crowd. “Okay, hold your arm out like this—” After a few seconds of you failing to resist him, he manages to get you to unfurl your finger as if you were about to order something from the dollar menu at McDonalds. Unfortunately for you, the tall twink is stronger than he appears. “—and just keep pointing around until I tell you that you’re getting warmer!”

“Seokjin, I don’t think this is very—” you start, but Seokjin is already moving your arm for you. Like a hurricane, Kim Seokjin listens to no one but his own homewrecking whims.

“Park Chanyeol? Close, but not really. You should know that I don’t double dip with past flings,” he says, shifting you to the left. “Kim Namjoon? Now that’s a hunk of meat that I wish I’d taken a bite of, but unfortunately he’s as straight as a ruler. Pass,” he hums, continuing to move you bit by bit.

You’re both getting uncomfortably close to where Yoongi is, and Seokjin doesn’t appear to be stopping any time soon. You did notice that Yoongi had come dateless to the reunion (a fact, by the way, that you did not rejoice over when you had noticed), but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s single. You have known Seokjin for more than a decade at this point, and despite your odd friendship, you are sure that he would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.

Though, that does beg the question… How far does his dick thirst really go? Maybe you’ll finally find out today.

“Warmer, getting warmer…” Seokjin inches you closer and closer to where Yoongi is standing. You feel frozen in his grasp, unsure if you wanted to know anymore. If Seokjin really is dating Yoongi, then what? It’s not like you were dating him anyway… What difference does it make if it’s Seokjin?

(It makes all the difference, but you refuse to think about it.)

“Nope, not Wonho... A little bit to the left… Bingo!” Seokjin declares, stopping your finger right on— “No, Y/N! Stop moving! You’ve gone too far to the wall! I was pointing at him.”

“H-Hoseok? You’re dating Hoseok?!” You squeak, an avalanche of relief flooding through you. You don’t even have the energy to pretend to be composed as your entire body starts untensing involuntarily, your shoulders slumping as though a weight has been lifted from you. “Why couldn’t you have just told me like a normal person? Why must everything be tortuous and dramatic when it comes to you?”

“I am a naturally insufferable and theatrical person. Sue me,” he shrugs, greatly enjoying the exhausted look on your face. “What? Were you actually scared that I was dating your sloppy seconds? What do you think I am? An asshole?”

You stare at him. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

Seokjin scoffs. “If I wanted to get roasted, I would approach two tops at a gay bar.” He pauses. “Wait, are you seriously not going to congratulate me for finally snagging a boy who has a functioning moral compass?”

“Define ‘snagging.’ Did you, like, tie him up and blackmail him to become your boyfriend like those terrible One Direction Wattpad fanfics, or—” You stop halfway, giggling at your friend’s unamused pout. “Okay, okay. Yes, Seokjin. I am very proud of you. Congrats on finally becoming an adult. Your hoe days are over.”

“Who said they were over?” He snorts. Noticing your alarm, Seokjin rolls his eyes in exasperation. “Oh, don’t give me that look! I’m not into infidelity and you know that. I just meant that I’m still a hoe with significantly fewer options.”

“How did that even happen in the first place?” you say, jabbing your thumb in Hoseok’s direction. Thankfully, the man in question is still busy talking to Yoongi, though you don’t know for how much longer. If Seokjin isn’t lying, then there’s a high chance they’re going to walk over to say hi and you’re not sure if you’re mentally prepared to go through the five stages of grief all over again.

“Believe me, I’m surprised as well. I started dating Hoseok after he asked me for help with his sister’s wedding gift. He asked me to help arrange an itinerary for her sister’s honeymoon in America,” Seokjin explains with a dreamy smile. He sighs, holding a hand up to his chest. You can physically see the heart emojis circling his head like a halo. “We hit it off from there and dare I say… Not only is he the only person who can keep up with my high maintenance lifestyle, but dear Lord, he could totally be recruited into the NDA for his astounding dick game—”

“Ever heard of TMI? Gross,” you interrupt, your face crumpling in disgust. You shove him away when his loud cackles start rattling your eardrums.

“You were scared though, right?” he says through his giggles. “When you thought that I was dating Yoongi?”

Of course Seokjin had noticed your mini-mental breakdown, judging from the shit-eating grin on his face.

“N-no,” you stutter, but your heated cheeks and averted gaze give you away. “E-either way, I wouldn’t have cared if you did!” you say. You know, like a liar.

“I bet you don’t care that Yoongi got significantly hotter in the past ten years too, huh?” Seokjin teases, snickering loudly. Under the harsh lighting of the fluorescent chandelier lights, you might have mistaken the boy in front of you for the devil instead of your best friend of almost twenty years.

“I sincerely rue the day I introduced myself to you in the third grade,” you hiss, sipping from your cup to hide your humiliation.

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re all embarrassed,” Seokjin coos, pinching your cheeks with the gentleness of an ape. You slap his hand away, unable to think of any retort.

“Cat got your tongue? You didn’t even deny it when I accused you,” Seokjin laughs. He claps his hands jovially, acting as though he’s enjoying a show at the circus. Given your performance tonight, that statement isn’t all that far from reality.

“I don’t need to defend myself from you,” you say, puffing your cheeks indignantly. “I just… think he looks handsome. Is that illegal or something?”

“Certainly not. Though, you might want to dial down the pining a teensy bit,” he singsongs. “That’s how I found you in the first place. I sensed your pining from a mile away and came as soon as I could!”

“I wasn’t pining!” you exclaim. “I was just… admiring the plant beside him.”

“Right, sure,” Seokjin says, arching an eyebrow in challenge. You feel your hackles rising at his smug expression, your ‘Seokjin-is-about-to-ruin-your-life’ alarm ringing in your ears. “So, you wouldn’t mind if I brought you over there to say hello? After all, my boyfriend is over there and as much as I enjoy pestering you, I also want to be with him very much.”

You whistle lowly, impressed. “Wow, that’s actually kind of sweet of you.”

“Yes, I know. Kim Seokjin’s heart grew three sizes that day, yada yada yada.” Seokjin says sarcastically, but his lovesick smile ruins the effect. When he opens his mouth once more, the mirage instantly disappears. “But you would understand if you saw how much he’s packing—”

“Shut up, I didn’t ask—”

“Fine, then let’s ask the man himself! Besides, you know you’re being ridiculous, right?” Seokjin tuts, annoyed. He fixes you with a glare, making you feel like a scolded child. “It’s just Yoongi. You and I both know he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and probably would love to see you after so long.”

You wave your hands around helplessly, almost sloshing your drink onto a nearby bystander. After muttering a meek apology at your harried classmate, you turn back to Seokjin with a defeated sigh.

You know that he’s right, and you absolutely hate him for it. “Jinnie, I’m a mess! I can hardly think with Yoongi standing meters away from me, much less if he were to stand right in front of me! I’m just going to embarrass myself,” you lament, holding your head in your hand.

“That’s true. You will definitely embarrass yourself,” Seokjin hums, nodding sagely. He shrugs his shoulders. “All the more reason we should do it. Relax, I’ll be your wingman like old times! All we have to do is remind him of all the fantastic, mind-blowing coitus you had in your youth and he’ll be a goner for sure.”

“If by goner, you mean he’ll be gone from my life permanently this time, then you’re right,” you groan. You have a half a mind to dump the remainder of your disgusting punch all over his expensive Bottega Veneta coat, though you also don’t want to spend the next three months receiving packaged turds from Seokjin in your mailbox. “Please, just let me suffer in silence for the remainder of the night, okay? Is that really too much to ask?”

“Oh come on! Just go say hi to him already,” Seokjin huffs. He wiggles his eyebrows, striking you with the urge to shave them off in retaliation. “I could feel your ‘God, I miss his dick’ vibes from across the room!”

“I do not emit dick thirst vibes,” you respond hotly, swatting him in the tit. You pause, considering. “Wait, but do you think he misses my p—”

“Say no more,” Seokjin interrupts, a wicked smirk gracing his lips. His gaze is fixed somewhere behind you, but you have a sinking suspicion you know why he looks like he’s won the lottery. “Speaking of the devil, look of who’s coming over to say hello!”

Swiveling around, you see that your intuition is right: Yoongi and Hoseok are swiftly making their way through the crowd, one of them appearing to be more enthusiastic than the other. You swallow thickly, your palms growing damp as they get closer to where the two of you stand.

"Seokjin, we gotta go!" you hiss, but your panic goes largely ignored as your best friend leaves you to envelop his lover in a dramatic embrace.

The two men exchange teary and heartfelt touches, acting as if they had been separated by years of war instead of the meager minutes they had spent apart to greet their long-time friends.

"My honeybunch! Oh, how I've missed you so much!" Seokjin cries, nuzzling his nose into Hoseok's neck. You might have mistaken him for a vampire with how aggressively he sniffs Hoseok's skin. Had Seokjin been 5% more unhinged, you do not doubt that he might have started suckling on his boyfriend like a leech.

"Oh, hyung. It's barely been an hour, but why does it feel like it has been forever?" Hoseok sighs forlornly, jaw clenching as though he's in pain. He croaks out a sob, lifting Seokjin in the air and spinning him around. "My love, let us never part again!"

You take a few steps away from them, trying to make it apparent to all the bewildered onlookers that you have nothing to do with homosexual Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

"What kind of shitty production is this? I want my money back," you murmur, fake-gagging behind the two of them. The lovesick fools pay no mind to your disgust; in fact, they seem to relish in it. Their efforts double, their theatrical kissy-smoochy sound effects causing goosebumps to form on your arms. "Seriously, I've had enough of this and I've only been forced to witness it for two seconds."

"Tell me about it," says a voice to your left. Startled, you nearly let out a shocked gasp when you realize that Yoongi had found his way by your side, his own disgusted gaze fixed on the bumbling buffoons still lost in their world. He glances at you for a second, quirking his lips into a small smile. "Hey, Y/N."

In just six words, Min Yoongi manages to make time grind to a halt. You gape at him, your brain ceasing in function. It takes you a full minute to realize that the man standing beside you is not a figment of your imagination. You had been so caught up in the absurdity of the situation that for a moment you had forgotten that Yoongi is a real person.

It's Yoongi, your first love. The person you haven't seen or spoken to in years. The man who has haunted your dreams for over a decade. He's standing right beside you, and he's smiling at you. He's here, he's hot, and he's saying hello.

Like the incredibly eloquent and profound person that you are, you reply: "Yellow!"

You had meant to say "Yoongi, hello!" like a normal person, but your brain had amalgamated your words during its rebooting process. And so, you are left standing there silently, frozen by your embarrassment. You swear you can hear a pin drop as you beg for the earth to swallow you whole.

Unfortunately for you, the floor remains painfully tangible beneath your feet, forcing you to clear your throat and expound on your mystifying exclamation. Yoongi watches you with curious eyes, patiently waiting for you to speak.

"W-what I meant to say is, uh," you stammer, your cheeks heating up to an alarming degree. "Those yellow streamers are pretty tacky, don't you think?"

Nice one. In terms of comebacks, you would personally give yourself a C for effort. (Note: C stands for "Can I please shove a fist up my ass and crabwalk the fuck out of here?")

Yoongi contemplates the tacky decorations in question, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I guess. They pretty much look like the stuff we'd make in elementary school during Arts and Crafts." He points to your mutual friends, grimacing in annoyance. "Them, on the other hand? No child should ever come into contact with those heathens."

"You're right," you snort, shaking your head.

There is a long and awkward pause. Yoongi clears his throat, swaying from side to side while staring at his shoes. You aren't any better, twiddling your thumbs as you will your cheeks to stop flushing. Your senses are practically screaming at you to run away and hide forever, but your limbs feel disjointed from the rest of you.

It's like we're at the zoo on a date and the monkeys won't stop fucking each other, your mind unhelpfully supplies, offering you an image that will permanently make its home on the backs of your eyelids.

Desperate to break the silence, eventually you say, "Hey, Yoongi—"

Right at the same time, Yoongi says, "Hey, Y/N—"

Another pause, but this one is slightly less tense. The two of you share a nervous laugh, though yours sounds a little bit more hysterical. You motion for him to speak first.

"I, uh... wanted to say that you look great. Yeah. Like, you haven't aged a day at all. N-not to say that I don't think you've matured or..." Yoongi stumbles over his words, his voice cracking.

Instead of feeling relieved that he's just as nervous as you, his anxiety only exacerbates your own. There's a reason you have never been good at public speaking, and this is a good example of why:

"No! I get what you mean, don't worry about it," you laugh, on the verge of a mental breakdown. What the fuck is this conversation, even? "You look exactly the same too. Umm... Of course, except for the, uh, hair?"

"Oh, you mean the gray hairs?"

"No, no! Of course not! I m-meant your hair looks really hot—I mean good! It looks GOOD," you repeat, frantically emphasizing the last bit. You had instinctively panicked, your voice rising in pitch.  If your cheeks weren't flaming hot already, then they're definitely redder than Seokjin's ass after a Friday night of fun.

The apples of Yoongi's cheek match your own flustered state, though you can imagine that you’re probably at least a hundred times worse. “Well, thank you. I was actually feeling self-conscious about my hair, so hearing that from you is really… nice,” he says, brushing his hair shyly. “I’m kinda done with bright colored hair for now, so seeing my hair in its natural state is still kind of weird.”

“I seriously doubt that Y/N was talking about your hair color, Yoongi,” Hoseok interjects, magically reappearing behind you when you don’t notice. You flinch in surprise, causing him to let out a hearty chuckle at your jumpiness. It seems that today is “Let’s scare the living shit out of Y/N” day with how many people have crept up on you in just one night.

Beside him, Seokjin looks like a bomb ready to explode, his fist jammed up his mouth to keep his guffaws from slipping out. “God, this is even better than the cringe compilations I watch on Youtube,” he wheezes, wiping a stray tear.

“Don’t be so mean to them, hyung! Don’t mind him,” Hoseok says to you, bowing apologetically. He smiles cherubically at Yoongi. “See, Yoongi? I told you that Y/N is even hotter up close!”

“God, fucking kill me,” you hear Yoongi groan.

“So, have you guys caught up yet, or have you just been fumbling around each other like a couple of horny teenagers?” Seokjin snickers, narrowly avoiding your heel stomping his foot.

“We’ve only just said hello. Leave us alone, jackass,” you huff.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Well, Hoseok and I can go on our merry ways if you wish—”

“Yoongi! Did you tell Y/N about your work back in Seoul? I bet she’d love to hear about it,” Hoseok interrupts smoothly, saving you from further embarrassment (courtesy of his infuriating goblin of a boyfriend.)

You blink in surprise, turning to the man in question. “You live in Seoul now? Did you move there after finishing university?” you ask.

“Well,” Yoongi starts, clearing his throat. He’s permanently pink at this point, not that you mind in the slightest. He always did have the cutest blush (and once upon a time, you used to love teasing him about it.) “I sort of dropped out of university early. Decided it wasn’t really my thing, you know?”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Yoongi. You were a fantastic student. I’m sure Y/N remembers how smart you are,” Hoseok says, winking inconspicuously at you.

You force out a laugh in response. You know perfectly well what he was trying to do; Hoseok isn’t slick in the slightest, though you do admit that you are intrigued to find out what Yoongi had done over the years.

It isn’t like you haven’t been keeping tabs on him. In your defense, it’s hard to stay away from news about Yoongi when he’s such a big deal. So what if you’ve watched a couple of his interviews and streamed all of his songs? He’s always been talented with music, and all the radio shows seem to agree. You couldn’t get away from him if you tried (and it’s not like you were trying very hard, anyway.)

Yoongi shrugs, rubbing his neck bashfully. “E-either way, I decided to tough it out, you know? Follow my dreams and all that, even if it nearly killed me.”

“And now, he’s working in a famous idol company as one of their head producers,” Hoseok finishes for him, chest puffing up in pride. He slaps his best friend on the back, not noticing that he had inadvertently caused Yoongi's spine to cave in from his strength. “Yoongi is so cool, and humble too! He’s been working behind the scenes for a bunch of big names and never got greedy for attention even though he totally deserves it.”

“Damn, so no street cred? Bit schewpid, innit? Imagine all the chicks you could’ve landed, bruv!” Seokjin says, imitating a terrible British accent. You make a move to hit him in the groin, but for once, Hoseok beats you to the punch.

“Nope! Yoongi-chi is super single, aren’t you?” Hoseok says with a sweet grin, ignoring the pained groans of his lover on the floor.

“No need to rub it in, Seok-ah,” Yoongi grumbles defensively. He coughs into his fist, grinding his foot into the floor. He throws a glance your way. “Just been… too busy, I guess.”

From the floor, Seokjin holds up a hand, grasping at Hoseok’s pant leg to hoist himself up. “What a coincidence. Y/N is super single too. In fact, her pussy is so dry that there’d be no chance for any yeast infections to develop—WAIT, DON’T HIT ME AGAIN I PROMISE I’LL BEHAVE!” Seokjin is on his knees, holding his arms up in surrender as Hoseok’s boot is about to connect with his stomach.

“I know I said I was into BDSM, but not like this!” Seokjin says, faking a sob.

“Then behave, darling,” Hoseok replies, eyes lighting dangerously. When he returns his attention to you, you and Yoongi back away instinctively. “Sorry about him. We have an… arrangement,” he says, waving his hands vaguely.

“Understood,” you both say, not understanding but also not wanting to.

Seokjin manages to straighten up eventually, his skin slightly paler than it was before. “A-as I was saying,” he exhales, still gingerly cupping his crotch. “Y/N has been single for so long, but I don’t blame her. Not after that awful disaster of a boyfriend, right? God, Sungjae fucking sucked ass, and not even in the sexy way.”

“Um, yeah…” you say hesitantly, avoiding eye contact. You can feel Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s eyes trained on you, but you’re not confident enough to know that you can keep your face neutral.

With your gaze averted, you don’t notice the way Yoongi’s posture tenses. “Is that so,” he says carefully.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Hoseok says. You can hear the genuine sadness in his tone, and you chance a peek at him. He pats your shoulder gently, giving you a soft smile. “Honestly, I feel you. I’ve definitely been there, done that. That’s why I’m grateful for Seokjin-hyung, believe it or not. He’s been really good for me.”

“Hah, I told you I’m a good person!” Seokjin says. Again, he goes ignored.

“It’s fine. It’s all water under the bridge,” you say, shrugging. You can still feel Yoongi’s persistent gaze on the side of your head like a brand. You’re kind of afraid to see what sort of expression he has despite the curiosity burning inside of you.

You are still in the middle of debating if it’s worth explaining or not (and to a lesser extent, why you feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone), everyone’s attention is caught by the onslaught of waiters bringing in a fresh batch of food to the buffet. Your stomach growls in response, and you are reminded of the fact that you haven’t eaten since breakfast in preparation for tonight’s event.

“Hold that thought, Y/N,” Hoseok says, holding up a finger. “Hyung! I saw a platter of tuna belly and I know that shit is gonna disappear in two seconds. Let’s head out!” He tugs Seokjin in a hurry, the elder’s gangly legs flying about as he trips over himself to keep up. Seokjin yelps and hollers for him to slow down, but the hangry Hoseok train stops for no one. They run off, leaving Hoseok-and-Seokjin-shaped dust clouds in their wakes.

“Wow,” Yoongi says, dumbfounded. “Did we just get ditched by our two self-proclaimed best friends in the world?”

You nod, equally dumbfounded. “I guess we did.”

He shakes his head. “Fucking traitors.”

And just like that, the conversation dies.

Without your friends acting as buffers, the pair of you return to your painfully awkward states. You rack your brain for a conversation topic, anything to keep the tension at bay. You don’t feel nearly comfortable enough to ask him about his love life, even though you want nothing more than to shake the details right out of him. For perfectly sane reasons, of course.

Lucky for you, Yoongi thinks of a solution. “Um, I guess we should go grab our food as well? I’m assuming we’ll be sitting together since our friends are... you know. Unless you don’t want to, then that’s also perfectly fine with me. I can find somewhere else to sit.”

“I’d love to sit with you,” you say, cringing at your choice of words. Love to? What are you, desperate?! your brain screeches at you, and you mentally beat yourself in the coochie.

Deep down, you know that you’re overreacting, but you can’t help acting like a blushy teenager talking to your crush when you’re around Yoongi. It’s almost as if you’ve reverted to your high school days, back when you’d both started to notice your feelings for each other and the steady flow of butterflies erupting in your stomach had felt less like a burden and more like a revelation.

After tossing your disgusting drink into a nearby bin, you and Yoongi line up behind the rest of your classmates for the buffet, the scene reminiscent of having lunch at your old high school cafeteria. You’re still mildly distracted by Yoongi’s proximity, not looking at what food you were getting and randomly scooping and hoping you don’t dislike all of them.

From the corner of your eye, you notice that Yoongi’s plate is steadily piling up, probably with enough food to feed two people. You’ve never known Yoongi to be much of a heavy eater, but you suppose that free food is still free food at the end of the day.

“So,” Yoongi says after a beat. He pulls you from your trance, and you catch the small smile on his face that tells you that he figured you had been distracted. “How is Jungkook, by the way? He graduated from university a year ago or something, right?”

You pause, your hand stilling on the metal tongs. “How did you know he graduated last year?”

He shrugs. “Well, assuming that he didn’t take any gap years, I did the math and figured he should be at the age where he’s looking for a job.” He turns to you with a sly grin. “Plus, I’m still his friend on Facebook.”

“That’s surprising,” you comment. You backtrack a little, “And I mean it’s surprising in the sense that… All his posts are reshares from dank meme pages and I thought you wouldn’t be into that.”

Yoongi laughs. “I’m not. But… it’s nice to know how things are back home, I guess.”

Do you wonder about me, too? you think, but you internally shake your head. But why would he? He doesn’t owe you anything.

“And your dad? I heard he got hip surgery last fall,” Yoongi says.

“Wait, Jungkook has been posting about our dad’s surgery on his Facebook?”

“Oh! No, not exactly.” Yoongi clears his throat, suddenly nervous. He heaps a big portion of kimchi, some of it staining his sleeve. “I… called him a few days ago, to catch up.”

You’re staring at him, and you dimly register the people lined up behind you huffing impatiently. “You… called him? You have his cell number, too?”

“No, I just… happen to still have your home telephone number memorized and hoped that you guys hadn’t moved,” he says, a little guiltily.

You’re silent for a moment, thoughtlessly scooping more bean sprouts onto your plate than any sane person would be comfortable eating. The two of you inch along the buffet display as you attempt to process his sudden confession.

On one hand, you’re slightly betrayed that your own brother hadn’t thought to mention that your ex had called him, but on the other hand, what would you have done if he did? Ask if you could say hello? The Y/N from last month probably would have laughed if she had known that Min Yoongi still cared enough to call and check on her family, much less have her landline memorized even after all these years.

He still cared.

Unbeknownst to everyone in the room, your heart skips a beat at the thought. You cradle a hand to your chest, urging your nerves to quell. Keep it together, you beg your stupid, naive heart. You can survive one night without falling in love again, can’t you?

...can you?

“I…” you stammer. You swallow thickly, desperate for something to say, anything to stop your mind from going in the wrong direction. “They miss you, you know? You have no idea how many times my parents ask if you’re coming home for Christmas, or—I don’t know.”

“Yeah, my parents are the same. They always wanna know if I’m coming home for the holidays, and they,” he hesitates, swallowing thickly, “They always ask about you, too.”

Oh.

“Oh,” you mutter lamely. Your cheeks feel like they’ve been lit on fire the moment you got here, and you haven’t even visited the bar yet.

You finally make it to the end of the long buffet table where there is a large chocolate fountain just begging for you to ravage if only your stomach wasn’t besieged by butterflies. Yoongi glances at you, his own hands too full to get any desserts, but he still pauses as if he’s waiting for you. When you make it apparent you aren’t interested in the mouthwatering cakes and pastries (a big fat lie, but you also don’t want to vomit in front of him and your hundreds of schoolmates), he raises a brow as though he’s surprised.

“What? I’m not that much of a sweet tooth,” you scoff.

“This is coming from the girl who broke into her little brother’s piggy bank to buy some ice cream from a passing street vendor?” he teases.

“That’s the old me. Now, I make enough money to buy my own sweets,” you say smugly.

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say.” If you didn’t know any better, you might have thought he looked endeared.

The pair of you search for Hoseok and Seokjin, only to find that the couple had somehow found a table for all of you somewhere near the back. With one last longing glance at the wondrous chocolate fountain, you walk away with Yoongi in tow. You have to push through throngs of people, a few old familiar faces stopping to say hello before they notice the precarious situation on Yoongi’s plate and let you through. You wave at them, promising to greet them later before turning to Yoongi.

“Isn’t it kind of weird to see all these people again? Not gonna lie, it’s almost hard to recognize a few of them.” You note some of the crazy hair colors and drastic fashion choices that you never thought you’d see a decade ago. An even stranger sight, however, is the occasional schoolmates with little ones attached to their hips. You recognize one of the new parents, your mouth dropping in shock.

“Wait, is that Seulgi? And is that her—”

“Her son? Jesus Christ,” Yoongi mutters, equally as bewildered as you. “Damn, I did not expect her of all people to be one of the first to have a kid. I’d always thought it’d be Sooyoung.”

You nod in agreement. You observe the little boy tug roughly at her skirt, his tiny fists making grabbing motions at the cookies on her plate. “Yeah. I always thought I’d have a kid before Seulgi, at least. What a surprise.”

You speak before you think, and it takes longer than it should have for you to realize your mistake. By then, Yoongi’s expression had already morphed into astonishment, his eyes bugging out as he chokes on his spit.

Your cheeks are burning, your mouth opening and closing as pure panic seizes you. You cannot believe that you just said that! No fucking way! Did you eat lube this morning or something? Why are words just spilling out of your mouth at an unprecedented rate?! You’re begging your brain to come up with something, anything, to control the damage, but alas your thoughts remain resolutely frozen.

If aliens were to choose to study the human race right now, they’d be sorely disappointed to find the lack of intelligent lifeforms. No complex thoughts going on over here! Not one goddamn neuron firing in this bitch!

“O-oh, well, that’s…” he trails off. He clears his throat, his jaw clenched as he awkwardly tries to feign composure. “I didn’t know you were, um, interested? Well, n-not that I think you were averse to the idea of having kids, since I remember you mentioning it when we were, um,” he pauses, struggling to find a word other than dating, or together, or in love, or not painstakingly careful around each other, like every conversation topic was a fucking minefield.

“Younger?” you supply. A safe, neutral word. Yay for you! You deserve a snack from your animal care keeper right about now.

“Right,” he nods. He looks down at his shoes, revealing his flushed neck. He’s frustratingly adorable like this, but it does nothing except distract you. “Were you, um, planning on having a kid with your ex-boyfriend? Before you broke up?”

Ex-boyfriend? Why is he bringing him up all of a sudden? You stare at him in confusion for half a second before realization strikes you. Thankfully (or unthankfully), it seems that Yoongi misunderstands the implication behind your words and has taken your little slip-up the wrong way. For once, you are so thankful that Yoongi almost failed Math during the 10th grade and never learned to put two and two together.

“Definitely not,” you bark out a laugh, but it sounds incredibly forced, even to your own ears. You stare at the plate of food in your hands, a wave of unpleasant memories washing over you. “I doubt he’d ever want kids, anyway. Seokjin used to make fun of him and call him the world’s biggest toddler.”

Yoongi winces, his brow furrowing. “How long were you together?”

“Like, two years?” You shrug. “It felt longer, to be honest. Even if we dated for so long, I could never imagine myself having a family with him,” you say.

It was almost the truth, but not quite. While your ex-boyfriend had undoubtedly been a pain in your ass, he wasn’t completely bad, especially in the beginning. You had enough self-respect that you would have ended the relationship earlier if he didn’t have any redeeming qualities. The main problem was that he had a tough act to follow, and you don’t think any man on earth would be able to live up to your lofty expectations at this point, not when you’d constantly be comparing everyone to—

Yoongi speaks up again. “Seokjin seems to really dislike him. Was he really that bad?”

“Seokjin has never really liked any of my past flings,” you admit, rolling your eyes. (You fail to mention that Yoongi has always been the only exception.) “Despite his own disgustingly high body count, I can’t say he was wrong. Sungjae was a self-centered prick who never gave me the time of day. Hell, I was almost thankful when I caught him cheating. It was the final push I needed.”

Even though it’s been so long, the pain of seeing your ex-boyfriend locking lips with a stranger he had randomly picked up from the street still throbs inside of you. It wasn’t like you were particularly sad or surprised to find out, but you’d always been a bit sensitive to people who kept secrets from you. Plus, it kinda sucked to know that they had fucked on your favorite Egyptian cotton sheets.

“Fucking bastard. If I ever saw him in person, I’d definitely kick his nuts ‘til he’s left with a concave crotch,” he seethes, eyes narrowing.

You laugh. You have to confess that the mental image is satisfying. “You don’t even know what he looks like though!”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m sure Seokjin would tell me if I asked,” he huffs. He mutters something else after, but his volume drops to a whisper and you have to step closer to properly hear him.

“What? Sorry, I missed that,” you say, but you could have sworn he said something like “I wouldn’t have done that if it were me” but you couldn’t be completely sure.

“N-nothing,” he stutters, waving off your confusion. He tacks on a smile, but you can tell that he must have been embarrassed by whatever he’d said. If it was anything like what you thought he’d said, then you could understand. It wasn’t like he was wrong, anyway.

He makes a move to rub the back of his neck, but he greatly underestimates the weight of his platter and nearly drops everything. Something deep inside of you kicks in, and your body instinctively moves to hold his plate with your free hand, saving him from a very messy situation. However, that also means that your hands are now touching each other, your fingertips grazing his knuckles.

Instead of letting him go like a normal person, your ape brain makes the first move (as per usual).

“Your hands are still cold,” you say dumbly. You had wanted to say more, like “your hands are still as cold as they were from when we were younger,” but bringing up your past together, even for something so harmless, still feels taboo. You keep your hands where they are, your eyes locked on his. It feels like you’re in the middle of a dramatic TV show while I Will Go To You by Ailee plays in the background. You can almost imagine the numerous ads for random Korean cosmetic products framing the two of you in slow motion.

Yoongi chuckles, reluctantly pulling away from you. You already miss the sensation of his skin on yours. “I guess some things never change, huh?” he says, wavering slightly. He stares at you for another moment before shaking his head, as though he’s pushing away some unwelcome thoughts. He turns away, leaving you behind to make his way to your table.

Despite the unbidden emotions bubbling up your throat and threatening to spill over, you have no choice but to follow.

At the table, Seokjin and Hoseok speak mutely with each other, though the exaggerated expressions on both their faces tell you that they had been in the middle of an argument. When Yoongi takes his place beside Hoseok, the couple pauses in their bickering to greet you.

Hoseok looks at Yoongi’s overflowing plate. “Dude. I know I teased you about being a skinny twig a while ago, but I wasn’t implying that you gorge yourself.”

Yoongi jolts in surprise before staring back at his plate. Weirdly enough, he looks just as shocked as Hoseok to find the amount of food he had gotten, as though he hadn’t even noticed.

Perhaps he was just as distracted as you had been? you think, staring at your own meager pickings. Oops, you definitely didn’t get enough food to fill your ravenous appetite.

“That’s fine. I can share with you guys,” Yoongi says.

Seokjin peers at your plate, smirking knowingly. “Oh, yes. I’m sure Y/N would love to get some of your food. It seems like the two of you either over or underestimated how much you’d eat.”

“Aww, cute!” Hoseok coos, pinching Yoongi’s cheek. “You still have the habit of getting food for her. That’s so sweet that you still remember that about her!”

You had been in the middle of taking a swig of your water, but Hoseok’s comment nearly causes it to spew out from your nose. You cough harshly, beating your chest as your nose burns, among other things.

“Hoseok!” Yoongi scolds. He hits his friend on the shoulder, but Hoseok’s giggles refuse to stop.

“Oh shit, you’re totally right! Remember all those times when either one of us was forced to third-wheel with them?” Seokjin guffaws. “Y/N always orders something gross whenever we eat out together, and Yoongi ends up having to share half of his food with her when she starts moping.”

“I did not mope!” you retort vehemently.

“You kind of did,” Yoongi mutters under his breath, but you catch him this time.

You cross your arms, scowling. “Did not!”

Yoongi covers his mouth to fake a cough, but you can tell he’s smiling from how his eyes start to crinkle.

“You guys are so cute,” Hoseok sighs, squeezing Yoongi into a hug. Yoongi paws at him weakly, but you know that he enjoys skinship too much to push his friend away.  Still, he pouts cutely, his cheeks puffing up like a pastry.

“Anyway, why were you guys arguing a while ago?” Yoongi asks, changing the subject. “Seokjin-hyung is kinda red in the face.”

“Oh, we weren’t really arguing. Hyung had gotten some wine from the bar but he forgot to get me some,” Hoseok says. He glares sharply at Seokjin. “Bastard.”

“You just said we weren’t fighting!” Seokjin whines. He stands up, raising his arms in surrender. “But fine! I’ll go get your damn wine,” he sulks, groaning when he stretches his back and a few worrisome pops resound from his joints.

“Damn, hyung. I know I told you that I hope you grow up well when we were kids, but I didn’t think you’d take it that literally,” Yoongi jokes, earning a sharp laugh from you. Yoongi glances at you then, visibly proud when he catches the wide grin on your face.

Seokjin gasps, offended. “I am not old! I’m literally a year older than you guys! And here I was, about to get you both drinks as well! It sucks to be the nice one in a friend group,” he sniffs.

“Yes, we are eternally grateful for your service,” Hoseok says sarcastically. “Oh, and remember to get some drinks for Y/N and Yoongi-chi too!” Hoseok adds, slamming his palm on Seokjin’s sore back.

Seokjin yelps, before biting his lip. “Owwie, that hurt,” he moans, winking salaciously.

As the closest person to him, you make it your right to jam your heeled foot onto his gelatinous and push away with a shout of disgust. “Leave, wench!” you snarl, but you’re unfortunately drowned out by his cackling. Even so, he does make his leave, affording your table some level of peace.

“So,” Hoseok starts, a twinkle of mischief in his eye. He cradles his chin with his hands, smiling innocuously at the two of you. “How’s it goin’? Are you both having fun?” he says, laced with meaning.

Ah, you had forgotten; peace was never an option.

Though he is undoubtedly less annoying than Seokjin, you still don’t trust the way he’s staring at you, like he’s waiting for one of you to jump into the other’s lap and recreate his favorite porn scene.

(A terrible thought to have, especially when you’d probably be as begrudging as you should be if you were swayed sufficiently.)

“It’s going fine, thank you very much,” Yoongi responds, giving his best friend a stern look.

You nod wordlessly, unable to trust yourself to keep from stammering and making your frayed nerves apparent (if they aren’t already.) You grab your glass and busy yourself with your drink to delay answering.

You don’t notice that you had taken Yoongi’s cup by accident until you’ve already gulped a third of his water, dropping it with a loud clunk. “Oh shit, sorry! I didn’t mean to drink from yours,” you say sheepishly.

Yoongi smiles at your concern. “No worries. It’s just a cup.”

“Sharing cups too? Damn, what happened while Seokjin and I were away?” Hoseok laughs. Yoongi flicks him lightly on the wrist in retaliation.

“It’s just a cup,” he repeats before turning to you. “Sorry, I think he’s a bit drunk.”

“Haven’t had a single drop of alcohol but whatever,” Hoseok says, shoveling a large piece of tuna belly into his mouth.

The sight of him eating reminds you of your own hunger, your food slightly colder now after talking to Yoongi and your friends for so long. You take a spoonful of chicken, the taste not terrible but not as good as you would like. Your face must give your disappointment away because you hear Yoongi chuckling beside you.

“Bad food again? Guess you really are the same,” Yoongi says, low enough that Hoseok wouldn’t hear. He pushes his plate towards you, carefully nudging some of his bulgogi onto yours. “This tastes kind of sweet, so I’m not really into it. But you prefer it sweeter right?”

All you can do is nod in agreement, watching as he piles your plate with his food. His sleeves, which had already been stained previously by some stray bits of kimchi, become even more saturated with sauces and oils. Now that you see it up close, his sleeves seem a bit too long for him, his palms half covered like sweater paws.  

Without thinking too hard, you place your hands over Yoongi’s wrists, his entire body freezing as he waits for what you will do. Gently, as though you’re approaching a frightened kitten, you fold his sleeves until they’re no longer dangling into his food. The gesture is more intimate than you had intended, his proximity allowing you to smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne.

Paco Rabanne, your mind reminds you. Of course.

You pull away, trying your best to appear as unfazed as possible. You clench your hands and dig your nails into your skin to keep them from trembling. “If I’m the same, you’re no better. You always used to forget to pull back your sleeves before eating.”

After a beat, Yoongi returns from his stupor, licking his lips. “My hands were cold,” he explains.

“I know.” You lick your lips too, suddenly parched despite all the water you have drunk.

A forgotten treasure trove of memories resurrects inside of you, things that you had thought had been buried too deep for you to find again. You are filled with this odd feeling, an awareness. An old wound has resurfaced, one that you thought had healed long ago.

That wound throbs, still.

It’s so strange, being with him like this. A piece of your past that has come to your present, both the same and different as you remember. He knows parts of you that no one else will, as do you with him. But those parts were only ever supposed to stay buried: memories, after all, aren’t supposed to be tangible.

And yet, here he stands: real, alive, close.

It leaves you feeling emptier than before.

The atmosphere grows somber after that, neither of you offering much to the conversation. Hoseok is more than happy to pick up the slack, filling the stark silence along with the occasional hums from Yoongi. When Seokjin returns, he makes no note of the change in mood and focuses more on eating and talking with his partner. It allows the two of you to remain deep in thought.

You are pushing your remaining bits of food around your plate when the soft instrumental music playing on the overhead speaker stops abruptly, and the sound of a microphone being tapped prompts everyone to turn to the front of the ballroom. The host of the event announces that the next part of the reunion will begin shortly and encourages all the performers to head to the sound booth to prepare. A couple of your schoolmates rise from their seats, most of whom were the students you remembered being part of choir or band.

You half-expect Yoongi to stand up as well, but he stays rooted to the spot. Apparently, Hoseok is wondering the same thing.

“Yoongi? Didn’t you say that the organizers asked you to perform some of your songs?” Hoseok questions.

“They did.”

“But?”

Yoongi brings his fingers to his teeth, biting on them anxiously. Your hand makes a move to pull them away, but you think better of it. No need to supply your friends with more teasing ammunition. “But I changed my mind last minute. I felt kind of embarrassed to be performing my own songs. I’m more of a producer, not a performer.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Yoongi. You’re poggers, as the kids like to say,” Seokjin pipes up.

“I wouldn’t put it like that, but he’s right. A lot of people like your music and think you’re a great performer,” you assure him. “And I like your music, too,” you add shyly.

Yoongi’s hand drops from his mouth, eyes glittering with disbelief. He looks like he wants to disagree with you, but eventually decides to just smile in gratitude. “I didn’t know you listened to my music,” he says quietly.

Before you can reply, Seokjin chooses to interrupt with his migraine-inducing cackle and ruin the moment (as he is prone to do.) “Oh bitch! If you only knew how much this girl loves your music. She even buys your physical CDs AND collects your photocards.”

“I do not!” You scream, flinging a piece of bread at his head. You refuse to peek at Yoongi.

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I collect his photocards too. Wanna trade sometime? I’m missing the one when he still had mint hair,” Hoseok giggles.

“Will the two of you stop? God, it’s like you both had been planning to embarrass us as much as possible,” Yoongi exclaims, incensed.

When neither of them responds, you and Yoongi whip your heads towards them only to find two self-satisfied, smirking shitheads.

“Why watch reality shows when you can make your own?” Seokjin says in lieu of an answer, pointing finger guns. He blows you a kiss with a wink.

You clutch your chest, pretending to wince in pain. “Augh! Poison damage!”

Seokjin scoffs. “Swagever, man. You’re just mad because you’re angry,” he retorts, sticking out his tongue.

While you were occupied bickering with Seokjin, you had not seen that one of your old schoolmates had invited herself to your table. She sandwiches herself in the space between you and Yoongi, bumping you roughly enough to topple you out of your chair.

“What the fuck?” you yelp in surprise, holding onto the table to balance yourself. After straightening back into your seat, you find that your view of the world has become obscured by asscheeks the size of beachballs.

“Hi Yoongi,” she purrs seductively. Or at least, what she thinks is seductive. To you, her voice sounds like nails grating on a chalkboard.

“Hello?” Yoongi says, but it comes out sounding more like a question. It’s clear that he doesn’t remember her name, as he searches your eyes for help. You shrug unhelpfully; you deleted almost all the names of everyone that you had gone to school with right after graduation. Besides, her horrendous plastic surgery makes it even twice as hard to discern her identity.

“Hi Hyejin,” Hoseok speaks up, answering your unspoken question. Oh, right. The name does ring a bell, somewhat. You don’t recall her looking like a cartoon character before, but you suppose beauty standards are meant to be subjective. Maybe she wanted to look like a One Piece character.

Hyejin purses her lips into a tight smile but doesn’t return his greeting. She turns back to Yoongi, bending forward until her boobs are practically smooshed against his face. You wonder idly if stabbing her chest with your chopsticks would cause them to burst like a balloon, or perhaps drain like a puss-filled pimple. Both, you surmise, would be very entertaining to watch.

“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other, hm? I heard you’ve been very busy ever since we graduated from high school,” she says, batting her eyelashes.

“Uh, yeah? Some of us have jobs,” he says, passively dissing her. You let out a strangled laugh, causing Hyejin to aim a glare back at you. You bring your (his) cup of water to your lips, feigning innocence.

Hyejin rolls her eyes. “Right. But I meant that you’ve become a real star back in Seoul! I didn’t know you were such a musical prodigy!”

“I’m really not. I just work hard,” he shrugs. He’s visibly uncomfortable, especially since Hyejin was pretty much breathing the same air as him. Every time he leans away from her, she takes it as an invitation to come closer. He is nearly lying horizontally at this point, his back parallel with the floor.

“Humble as well as handsome? My, my. I didn’t think you’d be such a charmer,” she laughs, saccharine sweet. She twirls her dyed brown hair with her perfectly manicured acrylic nails. You rub at the goosebumps forming on your arms, cringing at the phantom sensation of her nails digging into your skin.

“Just spit it out. What the hell do you want so you can leave,” Seokjin interjects. Everything about his demeanor says calm and collected, but the way he presses his lips into a thin line says otherwise. You can sense the air dropping in temperature, despite the embers burning behind his eyes.

“I came over here to ask if Yoongi could give me his autograph, that’s all. I am his biggest fan, after all,” she sulks. She winks at him for extra measure. “And maybe his number too? I’d love to discuss your music with you sometime!”

“Oh, um. That’s—” he cuts off, hesitant to answer. He tugs at his ears nervously, exchanging subtly alarmed glances with you.

You remember that signal very distinctly; it’s a distress call that he would do whenever he needed a way out. He used to do it a lot when you were at social gatherings, especially when people would trap him in boring or awkward conversations. He never did like socializing with people outside his circle, but he was often dragged to parties by his more extroverted friends.

He might be hot as hell with his stylish clothes and jaw-dropping undercut, but he’s still awkward as hell around strangers. When the universe created him, they made sure to keep everything in balance. If they hadn’t been fair, you certainly would’ve died much earlier.

“Yoongi, don’t you have spare CDs of your music?” you quip, dragging Hyejin’s attention onto you. Her eyes narrow imperceptibly, suspicious.

“I do?” He stares at you blankly.

You resist hitting your forehead in exasperation. “Yes, Yoongi. Remember? You left a couple of them in my car.”

Yoongi’s eyes light up in understanding. “Oh, right! I left my CDs. In your car. That we drove here. Together. We came here. Together. Yes, correct.”

From your periphery, you can sense Hoseok barely holding onto his sanity after witnessing that pitiful display. Who can blame him when Yoongi’s infamously terrible acting skills are having their first appearance in over ten years? How he managed to pass Drama class is still a mystery to this day.

“Yup,” you say, popping your p.  You give Hyejin a winsome smile, your hands folded neatly on your lap. You can almost see the steam blowing out of her ears. It fills you with delicious satisfaction. “Why don’t Yoongi and I go get them so he can sign one?”

If her eyes had been made of lasers, you’d be a cauterized mess jumble of organs by now. Can’t say you would regret it either way.

“How kind of you.” She sneers. “Also, I wasn’t aware that you two were still a thing.”

“I wasn’t aware that we were required to inform you of anything,” you retort placidly. You plaster on your fakest grin. “Now, if you can please move your fat ass—I mean, if you can please move out of the way so I can go to my car...” you trail off, gesturing for her to leave.

After a few more indignant sputters on her end, she eventually makes her exit. She throws a couple of poisonous glares, but they go largely ignored by you and your friends. With her gone, you feel as though you can finally breathe fresh air again.

“Great stuff, Y/N! Congrats on winning your first bitch-off,” Seokjin chirps, back to his usual self. You roll your eyes at his antics but smile nonetheless.

“Thanks. I learned from the best.”

Yoongi clears his throat. “So, are we still gonna go?” He looks back and forth from her to you. “Just so we can pretend you actually have my albums in your car?”

“Trust me, Yoongi-chi. She does have your albums in her car.” Seokjin titters. “I wasn’t kidding about the photocard collection.”

“Ignore him. And yes, I do have your albums. I listen to them in my car from time to time,” you say, attempting nonchalance. “I’d hate to give them away to that bitch, but if it keeps her away...”

Away from you is left unsaid, but it’s heavily implied.

(No, you aren’t jealous. You’re above jealousy. It’s not like that bitch would ever have a chance with him anyway, unlike you—!

Woah there, cowgirl. Let’s stay on the right path. Don’t want your heart getting chewed up and spat back out all over again, do you?)

“I’ll just mail you a new one. Signed, if you want. You can probably sell it on eBay or whatever.” He tries to say it like a joke, but his brow is too furrowed to be convincing. (You want to kiss him there and make it go away.)

You don’t trust yourself to speak, so all you do is nod mutely. You stand up and Yoongi follows suit.

“We’ll be right back. If she comes back before then, tell her to scram,” you tell Hoseok and Seokjin. They salute you in response (well, Hoseok does. Seokjin does a very rude gesture with his fingers that is supposed to mimic something explicit. Feel free to use your imagination.)

The walk to the parking lot is a quiet one. The two of you stay side by side, his strides naturally matching your own. Unlike before, you don’t feel the need to fill the silence for once, content to just be in each other’s presence.

The hotel that your reunion is being held at is unusually unpopulated. The lobby consists of a handful of employees milling about, a few of whom look ready to fall asleep on their feet. You nod politely at the bellboy who opens the main doors for you, declining his offer to call the valet service to fetch your car.

“Just hand me my keys. I’ll look for my car in the parking lot.” It wouldn’t be hard to find, anyway. Your beat-up Toyota Corolla looks as though it’s been through three wars and then some.

It isn’t long until you find it parked close to the entrance. You unlock your car from the passenger seat, shimmying the glove compartment open to reveal your collection of CDs.

“Wow, you weren’t lying when you said you listened to my music,” Yoongi says, voice loud amidst the tranquil night. It startles you, and you accidentally knock over some of the albums onto your car floor. On top of the pile lies Yoongi’s most recent album, the one you recall he had released a couple of months ago.

Strange, how just hours ago you were listening to his music on the way to the reunion, only for the boy on the cover of the album to be just inches away from you.

“Yeah, well. You’re a pretty good artist,” you say.

“Only pretty good?” he repeats, amused.

“Don’t push it,” you snort. You grab the album on top, waving it in front of him. “This should be good enough, right?”

He plucks it from your grasp, an unreadable expression clouding his eyes. He chuckles, but there’s an edge of sadness in his tone. “Good enough,” he agrees solemnly.

His sudden quietness is different from the peaceful one before. It’s sorrowful, maybe regretful. He looks like a man stuck in grief.

“Did you know that I didn’t finish this album before releasing it?”

The question seems a little out of the blue, but you answer regardless. “No, I didn’t. They don’t sound unfinished to me.”

“The songs themselves aren’t unfinished,” he explains. He turns the album over, his finger running down the back where the tracklist is printed. “One of my songs never made it in.”

“Couldn’t you have delayed the album launch so you could complete it?”

He shakes his head. “It was actually the first song I finished out of all of them.”

“Then..?”

“It didn’t matter, at the time. I wrote it for someone specifically, but I didn’t want to put it on the album if she—they didn’t listen to it. It wouldn’t matter if the whole world heard that song because only they would understand it.”

“But now? What changed?” Fear and hope run down your spine in tandem when the question tumbles out of you. You hold your breath, and the world shifts from its axis.

But he doesn’t elaborate further.

x x x x x

You return to the hotel after acquiring both an album and some more tension. The album feels heavy in your hands, weighed down by secrets you are still too afraid to uncover. Not that Yoongi would ever willingly divulge them to you—because revealing them would make them real, and making them real would mean you would have to accept them, and accepting them would cause you to—

“They’re gone,” Yoongi announces when you reenter the ballroom. You can’t spot your table from the entranceway, but the certainty in Yoongi’s tone makes you believe him.

“No fucking way. Did those two little shits ditch us to exchange body fluids or something?”

Yoongi grimaces. “Please don’t say it like that. It’s bad enough that I was sitting close enough to Hoseok a while ago that I got accidentally footsie’d by Seokjin hyung.”

You wince, placing a pitying hand on his shoulder. “God didn’t make us his strongest soldiers.”

Yoongi tries dialing Hoseok a few times, but none of the calls connect. “Just my rotten luck,” he groans. He types angrily into his phone, worry creasing his forehead. “He was supposed to be my ride back to his place.”

“Seokjin isn’t answering his phone either,” you say apologetically. “How much do you wanna bet this is part of their evil scheme to leave us together?”

“I don’t doubt it in the slightest,” he deadpans. He sighs tiredly, rubbing his temples. “I suppose I can take a taxi there, but I also don’t know if he’ll be home to open the door for me.”

“Then why don’t you just stay with me?”

You don’t know what you’re doing.

In your head, the offer makes sense. He’s just a friend, you remind yourself. Nothing is stopping you from rekindling a friendship with him. You have purely platonic intentions. Friends help each other out.

Never mind the fact that your heart hasn’t stopped fluttering the entire night. Never mind the fact that you’ve caught yourself staring at him just as many times as you’ve caught him staring at you. Never mind the fact that you don’t want the night to end, not now not ever.

(Never mind the fact that you’ve never quite stopped loving him.)

So when he accepts, you convince yourself that offering had been the right thing to do.

(Maybe. Hopefully. You just wish your heart doesn’t end up as collateral damage.)

The drive home is short, thanks to the late hour. You had asked him if he had wanted to stay until the end of the reunion, but he had declined. “Nothing else left for me there,” he says.

You feel as though he’s hinting at something. Your grip on the steering wheel tightens. “At least I get to keep my album.”

Yoongi laughs, short and sweet.

As much as you try to fight it, sitting in the car with him brings up a lot of memories.

The two of you in the backseat as his older brother drives you to his house for dinner, backpacks filled with crumpled notes and loose pens, a promise of an intense study session for your upcoming exams ready to be broken. You remember how the sky would turn orange in the afternoon, the warm light streaming through the car window and washing Yoongi’s skin with a soft glow.

His cheeks had looked inviting, his lips even more. And you would lean over, kissing him like it was easy. Because it was easy, and you never had to think twice about it.

Your trip down memory lane doesn’t end in the car. As you walk up the steps to your childhood home, you hesitate by the door, your keys frozen over the lock. You can hear Yoongi’s soft breathing behind you, but his presence doesn’t feel as stifling as you thought it would be.

You’re far from being at ease, but you aren’t frightened either. Mostly, you’re just filled with anticipation. Of what? You aren’t sure.

“Excuse the mess. Jungkook is in the middle of moving out so there’s just stuff everywhere,” you say just as you open the door. You toe off your shoes by the entrance, kicking them off haphazardly into the pile of sneakers and boots.

You hear Yoongi huff out a laugh behind you. “Aish, that kid. Still hasn’t let go of his Timbs, huh?”

“He has also been really into chunky sneakers these days. I think he’s finalizing his transformation into Thumper,” you joke. “He’s staying at his new apartment for the weekend with my parents, so you won’t be seeing them. They’re helping him settle in.”

“Really? He didn’t mention moving when we spoke. Where is he moving to?”

“Busan. He and his best friend from college are going to start a restaurant in his hometown. Which is funny, since neither of them are the best chefs.”

Yoongi whistles. “Still, that’s impressive. I can’t remove the image from my head of when he was a kid. He was so scared of anything. He wouldn’t let go of your mom’s leg even if his life depended on it.”

He steps deeper into the house, his gaze jumping from end to end as he surveys your childhood home. You watch him, noting how right he looks standing there in the middle of your living room, like a chipped painting that has been restored.

It’s scary, how easily you’ve accepted him back into this place.

He stays rooted to the spot, the moonlight filtering through the kitchen windows and illuminating his frame. The air pulses with something magical, something dream-like, and it muddles your vision. It’s the only explanation you have for why your chest tightens when he turns to face you, with a gaze filled with sadness, mourning, yearning.

“Jungkook’s height chart is still here,” he murmurs. The small nicks on the kitchen door frame are hard to see, and other people have mistaken them for signs of wear and tear. But he knows what they are because he was there when your mother had etched the first scratch.

He looks at your ancient dining table, his hand brushing over the surface. “This too,” he says, rubbing at a large burn mark on the wood.

“Mom made sure to use placemats after that. I didn’t think a sizzling plate would burn through the table like that,” you say, giggling as you reminisce. “You know, we still use your mom’s galbi jjim recipe. We haven’t found a better one.”

“I’m sure she would love to hear that,” Yoongi smiles, but it fades just as quickly. “It’s so… strange. Being here again and seeing that nothing really changed.”

But things did change. Upstairs, in your bedroom. That night, ten years ago.

You still remember what you had said to him, when you had said it to him, how you had said it to him.

It was a sunny afternoon, the time of day when you’d be on your way home from school. The two of you had stood in your room, neither of you wanting to sit because sitting meant staying, and staying only made this harder.

There hadn’t been many tears in that moment; those were shed only after the realization had sunk in, when you’d fully understood what had happened. At the time, the decision had been as easy as breathing.

Except you had both been drowning. The clock was ticking down to the end of high school, and the inevitable wasn’t slowing down.

Yoongi wanted to chase his dreams in Seoul. You wanted to stay closer to home, with your friends and family.

You weren’t going to be the one to hold him down. You weren’t going to be that person, not when he’s destined for greater things than his hometown could offer—not even a girl who loved him would be worth staying for.

He had suggested it, first. He had been prepared for you to cry, or maybe scream, but you did none of that. Instead, you pulled him close, hugging him tighter than you ever had before. You wanted to make it last, imprint the sensation onto your brain so that his warmth might stay with you, even after he’s little more than a distant memory. You trembled, terribly so, even though the beginnings of summer crept on your skin like a brand.

It’s time to let him go, Time whispered. You refused to listen, just for another moment.

Let me have this last moment, you beg. But Time refused to listen.

“Do you know?” Yoongi had spoken into your neck, had hoped his words would stain there. “Do you know how much I love you?”

Love, not loved. “I did,” you say. You think better of it. “I do.”

When you separated, for good this time, it had left an ache deeper than you could have ever imagined.

But you were young. Young love was supposed to hurt, but it wasn’t supposed to last. “You’ll find others,” your mother had said, brushing a soothing hand through your hair as you sobbed.

Then why? Then why has it lasted this long?

It has been a question you’ve asked yourself, and you’re starting to think that the answer has always been right in front of you.

The answer is standing in front of you: real, alive, close.

“Why didn’t you ever date again?” you ask. You ask even though you know he can lie, if he wants. He can tell you anything and you would believe him.

But he wouldn’t; you know he wouldn’t.

“I was afraid of closing a door that I never meant to close in the first place,” he says. His voice crackles like static, but that might be the blood rushing to your head. He moves toward you but keeps a hand’s width away. Still too far.

He continues. “After that day, when I left,” he swallows, “after I left, I think… I think I left a piece of me with you. A-and I don’t think I ever stopped…” he cuts off, exhaling shakily.

“Stopped what?” you breathe.

“You know.” He waves his hands around helplessly. They fall heavily back down to his sides, defeated. “You know?” he repeats.

You do. Because you are the same. The old wound had never healed; it burns and it bleeds like new.

Your skull feels like it’s stuffed with cotton when you close the distance between the two of you. He circles his arms around your waist, tentative, but he relaxes when you wind your arms around his neck. Your vision is warped, so you choose to close them. You wait, with bated breath, as his warmth inched closer and closer.

The sensation of his lips on yours jolts you back to your senses. His kiss reminds you of your youth, of a love that had made you excited to start your day. Even now, your body remembers, and it rejoices.

The tenderness does not last long before it turns fervent, tongue and teeth crashing like waves against the shore. If his kisses could speak, they would tell you stories of how much he missed you, of how much he mourned the time you had both lost. They would tell you of the days when he’d almost pressed your number onto his phone, of the nights when he’d stare at the polaroids he had kept of you.

They would ask if you still love him like he still loves you.

He tastes of desperation, and you are likely to be the same. It is a desperation you haven’t tasted in years—but it doesn’t feel scary like it used to. Time no longer feels like it’s racing against you, like you had something to prove before the hour was over. This reckless abandon feels like home against your skin—it is an ache being soothed after having ripped your scabs over and over again.

It’s Yoongi.

And when he pulls you to your room, he doesn’t even need his eyes to find his way as his feet still memorize the floorboards. He struggles with the doorknob, forgetting that it always jammed, but it’s okay because you can always teach him again. You can teach him everything again.

The bed creaks under your weights and even the mattress sounds like it is sighing in relief. That sigh echoes from your lips when his hand slips under your clothes, his palm stopping over your heart.

“I won’t break it, this time,” he says. He promises. “If you let me.”

You wonder if he can feel your heart soaring, pounding against your ribs. “I think the line has long been crossed to ask for my permission.” You place your hand over where his is laid. You squeeze tight.

This time, you don’t let him go.

[toomanyrobins2]

Those Four Words Pt. 1

Summary: an escalating fight between Jason and his girlfriend leads to a tense two weeks in Wayne Manor

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: language, mentions of sex and excessive drinking, mentions of character death

masterlist // next part

Jason Todd was in a terrible mood, having just got into an argument with Bruce. He decided to go up to his girlfriend’s studio to get away. She had been hard at work the past couple of days and he was getting needy. He came up behind her on the floor and pulled her into his lap. She tried to wiggle out of his arms. “Jay, I'm trying to do something right now.

He tried to snuggle closer to his girlfriend, “I deserve some of your time too.

“Deserve? You’re especially demanding today. What did you do?” Jason scoffed and pulled away. “What has crawled up your ass?”

“You did.”

She managed to escape and turned to look at her boyfriend, “I did? Huh, I think I would’ve remembered such a disgusting journey into your body.

“Dammit, Y/N! Enough with the sarcasm! You know what I’m saying.”

She sighed at Jason’s attitude, “I don’t understand what you’re doing right now, but you are starting a fight just for the sake of an argument. I’m sorry, but I can’t give you what you want right now.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Jason was standing over his girlfriend, his whole body tense, “From any of you.”

“Why are you being like this? What happened?”

“What? You thought the minute we started dating all of our problems would magically disappear? Are you really that naive?”

Y/N put her brushes down and stood. She tried to walk closer, but he matched each step, moving away from her. “Jason, where the hell is this coming from? I thought we had got past this. Even you and Bruce are in a better place.”

“You think I'll ever forget you abandoned me. You all did!”

“Abandon you! What have you been smoking? We thought you died!”

“You replaced me!”

Now, Y/N was angry too and it was rare that anyone saw her this way. She was deadly calm, but the fire was roaring in her eyes, “I did not replace you.”

“That’s right, you were too busy whoring yourself around Gotham to even think about me.”

“That is not fair and you know it. I mourned you. We all mourned your arrogant ass. I never stopped missing you.”

“I saw the articles, Y/N! Don’t pretend you were mourning me. You were too busy whoring yourself around Gotham.”

Her mind went back to three years ago. Jason had died in an explosion set up by the Joker. She was sixteen and her best friend had died, and she hadn’t handled it well. What started as a way to get out of the house with friends, had led to this wild, secret life. Y/N had snuck out at night and used Bruce’s name to get into clubs. She drank anything she could get her hands on and had gone home with multiple men, trying to forget her pain. Once, Bruce had found out, her world had imploded. He sent her away and finally got her the help she should have received when her parents had passed. The only reason Y/N had moved back to the manor was that Jason had been found. She couldn’t believe that he was trying to use her moments of weakness against her, “How dare you throw that back on me. I was just trying to numb the pain. It wasn’t like I was celebrating the fact that you were gone.”

“Yeah, it really looked like you missed me.”

“God Dammit, Jay!” she stamped her foot, knowing it was childish, “If you would just listen to me!”

“Oh fuck off, Y/N! If I had known I was ever going to be stuck with you and your nagging, I wouldn’t have come back.”

“I wish you hadn’t!” The minute the words left Y/N’s mouth, she gasped and slapped her hands over her mouth. Jason’s emotionless mask slammed into place, and suddenly he was as blank as the day Bruce had found him. He turned to walk out and Y/N chased after him, “Jay, wait! I’m sorry!” He jumped onto his motorcycle and was out the door before she could stop him. She slammed her fist into the wall and cursed in frustration and pain. No one would see either of them for the rest of the day. Y/N stayed in her studio, wondering how they got to the point of shouting such hurtful things at each other.

The next day, they had both shown up for Friday night dinner, as was expected of them. Neither spoke, and the tension was too thick to be cut with a knife. Y/N had tried to pull him aside and apologize after dinner, but he had shot her with a cutting glare and stalked away. The other could tell that something had happened, but no one had the details. Tim wandered into the library after patrol that night, to find her in a chair tucked into the corner. “What are you doing here (Y/N/N)? Isn’t it a movie night with Todd?” He noted the tear tracks down her face but knew she hated showing weakness, so he said nothing about them.

“I wasn’t feeling up to it, so I canceled. I think I’ll head to bed now. Night, Timmy.” Y/N went to her room and cried herself to sleep, the guilt overwhelming her as she played the argument over in her head. If only she had just taken a break, maybe the whole situation could have been avoided. She woke up multiple times in the night, crying out Jason’s name after seeing him and the Joker over and over again. Finally, around 3 in the morning, she gave up on sleep and went to the kitchen to pour herself coffee. She decided to keep busy and started making breakfast for the family.

Alfred was the first to appear in the morning, as usual. Y/N tried to pretend that everything was normal, but nothing could be hidden from the family’s butler. He noted the dark circles under her eyes and the tremors in her hands from over-caffeination. The boys slowly started to emerge, and Alfred started to bring out all the food she had made. She made two plates out of habit and headed for the dining room. Y/N started to hand Jason his breakfast as she had every morning for a year, but suddenly she remembered and pulled her hand away. Jason didn’t even bother to look at her, and her heart clenched. She placed the plate on the table and walked back into the kitchen. “Sorry, Alfred, I’m not hungry. I think I’ll go paint.” She placed the plate she had made for herself on the counter and left.

Y/N’s studio had been a safe space since she had first moved into the manor. She had hidden away when she first arrived at Wayne Manor, unused to such an active family. Bruce had called workers to the manor and redid the room when she had told him she liked art. Now, after years of work, canvasses filled the room on all sides. Some paintings, others photos, she had accumulated in the three years. They hung on the walls and were laid across the floor. She flooded the room with Swan Lake, her sad music, and started to mix her colors. The music she played had become an easy way for the others to discern her moods since she hadn’t spoken to anyone except Fallon, Bruce’s wife, when she first came. Bruce and Dick had installed a speaker system in her studio to drown out the noise when she was overwhelmed, and everyone in the Manor could hear it if she turned it on loud enough. When the first notes hit their ears, all eyes in the dining room turned to Jason. He refused to look up and make eye contact, instead, he stared at the breakfast that had been abandoned on the table. Once everyone had averted their gaze, he pushed away from the table and disappeared.

This led to one of the most uncomfortable weeks in the Manor ever. Y/N barely left her studio and no one saw Jason for three days before he returned. When he did, he started to act as if nothing had happened. The music had eventually stopped playing altogether, so they had no idea what kind of mood she was in. Finally, Damian was the one to gather everyone else together, “Y/N/N has not come out of her studio in a week. Since Buckethead has just decided to pretend nothing has happened. We need to fix this.”

Bruce spoke up first, “Jason and Y/N are both adults. They are both being immature, and it will eventually work itself out.

“How can we fix this when we don’t even know what happened?” Tim looked up from his laptop, “I’ve been checking in on Y/N on the cameras. All she does is paint, and the most she’s slept in days is when she falls asleep accidentally. That never lasts long, and she cries. A lot.”

“Why did Fallon have to leave! We need to fix this, or the family vacation is going to be the worst!” Dick collapsed on the couch. Fallon had finally convinced Bruce that the family needed a vacation, but two weeks before they were supposed to leave, her sister had had a baby. She decided to go help her out and just meet them at the resort. They now had a week left, and it was not looking good. No one wanted to bother their mother since she very rarely took time for herself and was enjoying time with her family. They decided Alfred would be the one to try and convince Y/N to leave the studio at least and eat something.

He appeared in the doorway and watched silently as Y/N worked on a large canvas. He walked over and saw that it was a portrait of the family. “This is beautiful, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred,” her voice was hoarse from disuse.

“What is the plan for this one?” Alfred sat down next to her on the floor.

“Everyone hates photos, but Fallon wanted a family portrait for the sitting room. Since no one can sit still long enough I decided to paint one and give it to her for her birthday,” she slowly sucked in a breath, “Plus they only have the old one, and J--some people-- are missing from it.” Tears started to well up again in her eyes. Alfred wrapped an arm around Y/N and just sat with her for a moment.

“I’ve kicked the boys out of the kitchen. Do you think you could come down and eat something? For me?” She only nodded and they both stood. Y/N sat on a stool and silently ate the soup Alfred had laid out for her. She barely tasted anything, and she was starting to feel dizzy. Her vision started to blur, and the next thing she knew, she was waking up on the floor and had five heads floating above her.

“Hi, guys. Thought the floor looked lonely.” She tried to sit up but was cut off.

“That is it,” Bruce spoke firmly, “You are going to bed, and you are sleeping. I thought you were mature enough to deal with this but I see I was wrong.” He picked Y/N up and noticed she had lost weight. He carried her up the stairs and before he had reached her bedroom, she was already asleep again. Bruce turned to the boys. “At least one of you is staying in here with her and making sure she sleeps.”

Tim volunteered for the first shift and settled into her desk with his laptop. Y/N had barely been asleep an hour before she woke up from a nightmare of Jason dying. She shot up and shouted out his name, before bursting into tears. Tim -- being the awkward person he is -- was ill-prepared to deal with the crying Y/N. The only solution he could think of was to climb into bed with her and pull up a movie. She slowly fell asleep again and clung to Tim like a starfish. When Dick came to relieve Tim and saw that he was unable to leave, he climbed into bed with the duo. Anytime Y/N would start to become distressed, they would calm her down. Eventually, Damian and Titus joined the cuddle pile, the former somewhat reluctantly, grumbling about how he was only doing this for Y/N. Little did the Bat-Family know, Alfred had called Fallon and told her about the situation and she had rushed home.

[jekacatrina]

Fate don't know you like I do

Hello, guys, have this super cheesy and self indulgent piece I wrote for Bakudeku day! I'm so happy to be part of this fandom and all the wonderful content creators out there, so here's my little contribution, enjoy! I wrote it super fast so sorry for any mistake or typo!

Also, the title is a song I love, please check it out, it inspired the whole thing!

Izuku wakes up to the sight of his bedroom ceiling, body aching and mind restless. He’s no longer wearing his hero suit, except for the undershirt and his pants, everything else is gone. Slowly, the yells of the crowd infiltrate his thoughts and he wishes to run away, to go to where he can’t hurt anyone he cares about.

He has to leave. He is being selfish. Izuku props himself up on his elbows.

“That’s the face of a rabbit ready to bolt,” the gruff voice startles him, and he turns to see Kacchan sitting on his desk, frowning. It adds up that they wouldn't leave him without someone standing guard.

Kacchan has changed out of his hero suit, and a dark grey long sleeved t-shirt hides the bandages on his shoulder and stomach, but Izuku is keenly aware of the wounds he was sporting as he flew around trying to keep him from leaving. By the end, his childhood friend was bleeding through them. That was Izuku’s fault; both Kacchan reopening his injuries and the fact that he has them in the first place.

“Kacchan, I'm so-“

“Save it, nerd,” he abandons the desk chair and shuffles closer.

Izuku takes him in; after weeks of agonizing over the state in which he left Kacchan, seeing him do a perfect arch in the air and stop a villain with a precise AP Shot, filled him with a relief so strong, it paralyzed him, and he was only able to stare in awe.

During the following fight, if Izuku can call it that when it was against his friends, Kacchan was everywhere; coordinating different maneuvers, and he even had a new move. Izuku told his friends they couldn’t keep up, and he remembers vaguely that he apologized, because in reality they’re miles ahead of him.

Still, nobody is like Kacchan: certain and absolute, pure will held together by his convictions. He never backs down, and he never gives up, only marches forward. Izuku never stood a chance against him, in more than one way.

Kacchan kneels by the bed, putting an elbow on the bed, close to his hips, and lazily resting his head on his hand.

“Kacchan, I can’t stay here,” he mumbles, trying to convey all his inner turmoil. He wants to stay, he is so tired and scared, but he will not risk anyone for his sake.

Kacchan frowns in response.

“You can, and you will, dumbass,” he states, surprising him by clutching his forearm. “I’m not chasing your sorry ass around anymore.”

“Then let me go,” Izuku turns his arm, grabbing him as well.

“You’re not going anywhere, Izuku.”

The name travels through his body, lighting him up on the inside, coursing through him with the violence of the first time he used One For All, equally exhilarating and terrifying.

It all comes back to him; the rain, his words, his bow, Izuku collapsing and Kacchan appearing in time to support him.

Izuku.

“You apologized,” he whispers, tears coming to his eyes. “You said all those things in front of the whole class.”

“I had to, asshole, you left before I could tell you in private,” he doesn’t look embarrassed or regretful. Kacchan doesn’t shy away from his decisions once he makes up his mind. “Only a shitty letter for explanation and that was it.” He shakes his head. “You didn’t even let me go with you, idiot.”

“You’re still dealing with the outcome of the last time I let you come with me.” The tears are running freely down his cheeks. “I had to watch how he almost took you away from me.” He scrubs his eyes furiously with his free hand, not letting go of Kacchan. “I can’t allow more people to suffer because of me.” He’s on his way to a full on breakdown, struggling to get air in his lungs, and blood roaring in his ears, the noises muffled.

Suddenly, Kacchan is hovering over him, shoving his shoulder firmly.

“Hey, Deku, scoot over,” Izuku only glances at him through his crying, baffled. “Give me some room to lay down, like when we were kids.” He’s already in the process of climbing on the bed, and Izuku manages to slide his body closer to the other end, grabbing the bed cover when the weight of his childhood friend laying down almost makes him roll over him. “Jesus Christ, you stink,” Kacchan complains.

“I know,” Izuku turns on his side, creating more space between them. Hygiene wasn’t that high on his list of priorities, not even eating or sleeping was, and he feels awful. He didn’t have the energy to shower before passing out.

“You smell like dirt and sweat.” Kacchan scrunches up his nose. “Worst of all, you reek of that goddamn martyr complex, and it pisses me off.” he turns too, and traps Izuku in his red gaze. “If you’re choosing to ignore all I said before, at least pay attention to the last part.” He’s not sugarcoating his words, he’s as brash as he always is. “We all want to fight, because we’re heroes and we want to protect everyone, including the fucking chosen one, whether you want us to or not. I’m not asking for your damn permission, and neither is any of the rest. So, you can either play nice and make it easy for us, or be a self-sacrificial idiot, making it all the more annoying. Your call.”

“I don’t know how to stop,” Izuku grimaces, reaching for him with a shaky hand, and awkwardly squeezes his arm. “I’m not ignoring all you said, Kacchan” he chooses to focus on that, gaze in his All Might covers. “I, I forgave you a long time ago, mostly because I wanted to focus on the good parts, so in a way I let go of it for me.” He forgets about his smell, and scoots closer, resting his forehead close to his shoulder. “But thank you, Katsuki.” He hasn’t said that name in ages, but that doesn’t come from any animosity on his part. Kacchan has always been and will always be Kacchan. Izuku feels him move as Kacchan places his chin on top of his matted curls, and they stay like that for a while, with their past laid to rest at last.

Kacchan speaks up first.

“Listen, Deku, everything is getting pretty fucking real,” he pauses for a moment. “Shit is really dangerous for any of us, but for you it is like a thousand times worse. Your ass is a fucking death magnet, and it’s driving me crazy.”

“One For All is a big responsibility, Kacchan, but it’s not yours.” He does his best to keep his voice low and soft, the weight of the legacy crushing him.

“The Hell is not!” Kacchan retorts vehemently. “You made it my deal the moment you told me!” Izuku winced. “What’s up with that? Wasn't that the biggest secret ever? Are you that much of a blabber mouth?”

Izuku clutches his arm harder.

“I wasn’t going to let you think I lied all those years.” He explains, and in a moment of bravery, he continues. “I’ve never been anything but honest with you, Kacchan.”

The anger in his voice disappears as fast as it came.

“I know that, idiot.” His bigger hand finds Izuku’s hip. “One for All is your responsibility, but you are mine.” Izuku is pretty sure he stops breathing. “Since we were fucking four years old, and you were this quirkless little shit that wouldn’t quit chasing after me, no matter how much I pushed you away.” Kacchan scoffs and his breath tickles him. “Well, congrats, dumbass, now you have me and I’m not going anywhere.” His heart flies to his throat and doesn’t let any word come out. Kacchan growls, clearly bothered by his silence. “All for One VS One For All is the fucking shit show for the ages, and of course you, Deku of all people, have to be right in the middle of that crap.” He talks through clenched teeth, and Izuku longs to soothe him, but there’s nothing he can say to fix the situation. “All those who fell against that fucking maniac and now you have to-” Kacchan chokes up, and punches Izuku on the arm. “Whatever, there's nothing I can do for those nobodies that came before you, but you have an advantage over them.”

“What’s that?” He whispers in a small voice, not believing he is having this conversation in bed with his childhood friend.

“You have me,” Kacchan utters, and Izuku feels like he hit him with an explosion, sweeping his feet from under him. “Just let me set something straight, Deku, I’m not going to be your fucking sidekick, you hear me? You watch my back and I watch yours. I don’t trust anyone to keep up with you.”

I don’t trust anyone else to protect you.

“Kacchan-”

“You deal with this crap once and for fucking all, Deku, and we come up on top.” Kacchan declares, Izuku can hear the smirk in his words, and he has to smile back. “I don’t settle for anything but the best, and taking down fucking evil incarnated, I’m in, Deku, I’m all in.” He disentangles them, leaning back with a vulnerable expression, and offers his hand for Izuku to clasp. “What do you say?”

Izuku wants to say no, push him away from danger and lock him somewhere where he is going to be safe, but he knows Kacchan. He is determined, stubborn to a fault, and braver than anyone he has met. If he sets his mind on protecting Izuku, nothing is going to stop Kacchan, not even him.

That’s why Izuku loves him like he does.

In this space, with just the two of them, Izuku can be honest with himself: He is scared, and he has been for a while.

Scared of not living up to All Might’s hopes.

Scared of never mastering this power.

Scared of letting down all the people that gave up their lives to take down All For One.

Scared of being the wrong choice.

At the end of the day, Midoriya Izuku is terrified of not being enough.

In the midst of all the fear and doubt, he sees Kacchan; the person Izuku admires the most, the hero he has chased since he was four years old, and the driving force behind his progress. Kacchan, who knows all of him, and understands him because he sees Izuku for who he is, all the good and bad parts.

His Kacchan, who is now offering to help him and ease his burden, risking his dream, his precious life in the process, to stay close to Izuku and protect him.

A part of him, the one that imitates All Might, is screaming at him that he has to reject the support, to do it on his own. He should hold the weight of the legacy by himself. However, the other part of him, the one that believes Kacchan is what victory looks like, tells him he isn’t All Might and he doesn’t have to be.

He is Midoriya Izuku, and he is allowed to live his life and fight his battles on his terms, just as Kacchan does.

He clasps his hand, and Kacchan smiles, without a trace of mockery or anger, just plain happiness and relief lifting the corners of his mouth. Izuku hasn't seen him smile like that in years, and he needs to say something. He means to say yes to his offer, maybe thank him, but what comes out instead is:

“I love you.”

The punched out gasp that Kacchan lets out shocks Izuku more than his confession does. He can’t believe the words he has hidden for so long in his heart escaped that easily. More shocking is the fact that he doesn’t want to take it back. Even if he is scared of many things, Kacchan isn’t one of them. Yes, Kacchan frustrates him, he worries him, and makes him nervous, but Izuku is not scared of him, never has been. He can die any day now, any of them can, and he is done with silencing his feelings.

Kacchan is not screaming or scowling, neither he is leaping out of the bed and running away from him, so Izuku would say he is mostly stunned, although he doesn’t see why. His feelings for him are a key part of the person he is. Izuku admires him, cares for him.

Izuku loves him.

“Do you mean it?” The question seems to pain him. He hasn’t released his hand.

“Yes, Kacchan.” Izuku is not hiding it, not anymore.

“After everything?”

The words strike his heart and cut deeply. Izuku doesn’t hold any grudge or resentment, and he can’t tolerate the idea of Kacchan thinking he can feel something for him despite their past.

“Because of everything, Kacchan,” Izuku replies, touching their joined hands with his forehead, shying from the red eyes. “The past doesn’t disappear, but that’s not our present, and definitely not our future.” He takes a deep breath to calm his heart. “You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t say it to get an answer.”

“Deku, you can do so much better,” Kacchan says, bluntly.

Izuku doesn't let the obvious rejection deter him from speaking with the truth.

“I don’t see how,” he stares at him, mustering a wonky smile. “You are you, Kacchan; you’re brave, honest, loyal, brilliant, and hardworking.” The words spill without filter, and he drinks the sight of his pale skin blushing. “It’s not about doing better, just who I choose, because when it comes down to it, I chose you a long time ago, Kacchan.”

Kacchan tips his head up, the blond strands cloaking his eyes. Izuku refuses to regret coming clean about his feelings, but as the silence grows between them, he starts to fidget. Little by little, he realizes the true weight of his confession, and the bridges he might be burning.

“This doesn’t have to change anything, Kacchan.”

“It changes everything, Deku,” he replies, not missing a beat.

Izuku curses his luck; it was just like him to confess his love right when Kacchan finally came back to him, something Izuku hadn’t dreamt in his wildest dreams. Dealing with these feelings much longer, when they are so powerful and consuming is not possible. Still, he should have tried, for the sake of their friendship.

A callous finger touches his chin, breaking his spiral of thoughts, and lifts his face. The fiery eyes are wide and defenseless, embers instead of the wild inferno Izuku expected.

The first touch of chapped lips is an awakening, and his first kiss is over before he can finish tasting it.

Kacchan leans back, and for the second time in his life, Izuku’s mind goes blank and his body moves on its own, chasing after him. Their second kiss is messy, they don’t have any experience, but Izuku is lost to it. He tries to commit to memory every brush of their lips and ragged gasps, how soft is his blond hair, and the feeling of fingers sinking in his curls, guiding the kiss.

They break apart, but stay close.

"You didn’t have to do that, Kacchan,” he says against his mouth.

“I never do shit I don’t want to do, Deku.”

Izuku grabs him again, bunching up his t-shirt, so full of love that he fears he is going to float away if he doesn’t get a firm grip.

“Deku, I-“ his voice quivers and Izuku kisses him again, softly and reassuringly.

“It’s okay, Kacchan, you don’t have to say anything yet.” Izuku told him because he wanted him to know, but he has had years to come to terms with it. He’s not expecting Kacchan to figure everything out right now.

“You better stick around after that, you damn nerd,” he touches their foreheads together. “Or take me with you. Two options, I’m magnanimous like that.”

Izuku giggles, the sound so foreign after the past weeks.

“Okay, Kacchan, for that I’ll stick around.”

“Or you’ll take me with you.”

Izuku is still terrified of anything happening to him, but he trusts him the most.

“I’ll stick around or take you with me,” he promises, and Kacchan nods satisfied, wrapping Izuku in his arms and hugging him closer. “I thought you said I stink.”

“You fucking do,” Kacchan says immediately. “When I think about this, the first thing that is going to pop into my mind is that my first kiss smelled like a wet dog.”

Izuku laughs until he cries, and Kacchan joins him.

At one point, his back is to Kacchan, and he’s playing with his hands. Izuku’s so relaxed his eyes are drifting close, sleep taking over.

“Hey, Deku,”

“Yes, Kacchan?” he says drowsily.

“You have magnificent taste.”

Izuku snorts, pulling his arm tighter around him.

“I’m going to sleep now,” he murmurs, and he jumps when Kacchan buries his face on the crook of his neck. “Wake me up if something happens.”

“You can trust me, Deku, nobody is going to pass through me.”

Izuku believes him with his entire heart, but he still chooses to only think and not say what crosses his mind before falling asleep in his arms:

I would die before letting anything happen to you.

[asexual-abomination]

Hi 🥺 I saw requests were open? Could you maybe do platonic Phantom Troupe with the reader having echolalia? If the troupe is too much, maybe just Chrollo and Feitan? Thank you in advance 🥺

Thank you so much for this request! I had a lot of fun writing it!

I know that echolalia and a lot of other symptoms show up differently in different people, so I had to base this on my own experience, and I have a tendency to echo literally anything, words, sounds, rhythms, anything.

I decided to have this take place in a scenario where reader copies each member individually!

Chrollo

Probably the one who has read up on any and all of your symptoms, since he considers it his responsibility to be educated on your needs

When, after you happened to be sat in a meeting with the Troupe, you began muttering to yourself, he wanted to see if you were alright

As he walked up to after, hoping to speak with you, he was surprised to see you repeating a seemingly innocuous phrase from somewhere in the middle of the meeting

Chrollo would recognize this as a stim, but he wouldn’t understand immediately why you would be stimming something he randomly said

He would be a bit thrown off when your explanation is very simple, telling him that it just sounded right, felt right in your brain

He wouldn’t tell a soul, but a little part of him was proud that you found his voice that nice to listen to that you’d imitate it for fun

He definitely doesn’t mind, and even encourages any stimming in general, since he can see that it makes you happy

Machi

While most of her medical training is in more physical things, after it was mentioned that you were autistic, she decided to go and top up her knowledge of neurodivergency.

At one point during a mission, she murmured to herself to remember a safe’s code, not realizing that she was within earshot of you

Several hours after the mission was over and everyone was celebrating the spoils of victory, she overheard you repeating the code to yourself over and over again

She expressed her confusion to you, reminding you that the mission was over and there was no need for the code anymore

When your response was to tell her that the code simply sounded nice, she would probably get confused for a moment

Machi doesn’t quite understand how some random string of numbers can ‘sound nice’ but she also knows that your brain functions differently from hers

I don’t see her making too big a deal out of it, but she’d actually make a sly comment about how much you listen to her

Other than that, she happy to let you stim as you please!

Phinks

Probably not educated at all about the intricacies of your stimming or any symptoms in general, but he'll never get upset with you, since he understands on some level that it's just how you are

I'd imagine that the way you'd echo from him miiight come from overhearing him death threatening a scared hostage

Definitely spooks him when he hears you mumbling the harshest and longest string of curses he's ever heard

Mostly because you're spitting the words with the exact same tone as he did, and he thinks that you're trying to threaten him

(He doesn't wanna mess with you 😆)

When he finally figures out that you're copying him, he jumps to the next conclusion that you're mocking him

"What? Am I not intimidating to you? I sure scared that scum back there!"

"What are you talking about?"

His face when you explain yourself to him is nothing short of flustered, and he begins profusely apologizing

He gets super caught up whenever he's accidentally ableist, since he wants you to feel safe around him

Once you've cleared up the situation, he actually takes joy in seeing you copy him, and if he gets the chance he'll want to teach you how to be more intimidating

Uvogin

Another case of not really knowing what stims are, but being respectful of them anyway

I mean, man is literally eight feet tall, he doesn't care about whatever weird things anyone else might do

He roars at the back of his throat once, and that's it

When he's walking past you after a mission, Uvo's almost shocked to hear you making a vague growling noise constantly

Since he likes to lean into his animal side a bit more than others, he'll jokingly ask if you're trying to intimidate him, much like Phinks

When you explain to him to you thought that his roar was fun enough to copy, he also takes an odd sense of pride in it

He's not normally a man for any kind of subtlety, but if you actually found his roars pleasing to listen to, he'll see if he can roar at a volume that won't immediately burst your eardrums without protection or distance

If you do a lot of vocal stimming in general, especially imitation of his roars, I can see him taking you out to some mountain or cave or whatever to practice your roar for some fun bonding

Nobunaga

Okay so we know that he spends plenty of time around Machi, so she's probably explained some of the main symptoms of your autism at some point when he asked

But when he sits next to you and hears you trying to imitate the sounds that his sword makes when he charges it with his Nen, he looks at you incredulously for a moment

You may not have even noticed that you were echoing at first, so you'll probably be confused when you see him looking at you

"Oh, sorry, your sword just sounds nice!"

*Cue even further confusion from him*

Completely doesn't get how a sword sounds nice, but kind of has this "You do you, kid" attitude about it

May or may not invite you to listen to his practice and then wait until afterwards to listen for your echoes because he finds it cute

Shizuku

Okay I'm gonna be honest, when Blinky first appeared in show and made that noise, I was taken and kept trying to make the same noise for hours whenever it appeared

"Shizuku, why did you summon Blinky? Is something wrong?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't summon them?"

"Oh that was me, sorry."

Definitely has a giggle about it when she finds that you enjoy echoing her Nen ability

Will summon Blinky whenever you want to 'have a chat' with them

Very openly thinks you're absolutely adorable with it, and it's one of the first things she'll do every time she gets to see you

Shalnark

Honestly, he says everything with such a happy, upbeat tone, anything he says can be copied for fun

His laugh is the best, so you're probably echoing that

He's probably not too shocked when he hears an attempt his own laugh coming from down the hallway, thinking someone's trying to play a prank on him

But he'll be a little confused when he finds you

When you reveal the truth of what you were doing, oh god, be prepared

"Aww, you like my voice that much??"

"You do a pretty good impression of me, must spend a lot of time listening, huh?"

He WILL NOT stop until he gets to see you blush, though if he does overstep and upset you, he'll tone it back down immediately

Might not change anything especially big with his usual way of talking, but will take a moment to appreciate his own voice whenever he catches you imitating him

Bonolenov

THE MUSIC!!

Okay I know that they're mainly used for battle and injuring people's ears, but he definitely has more calm songs that he plays for his friends

When you first hear it, the tunes are so enchanting that you will be humming or whistling it for weeks afterwards

He's sitting and relaxing when he hears you attempting to hum the tune of a sweet lullaby he had once played for the Troupe

It's probably not a perfect replication, since it takes a while to learn the songs he makes, but it makes his heart melt to think that you want to try your hand at his beloved music

When he overhears you, he jumps in to begin gushing about the song you found so lovely

Asking if you'd like to hear it again -  he'd certainly love to play it for you again!

He might seem really overexcited, but he's genuinely happy that he can bring you joy with his ability

Franklin

Took me a moment to think of something for him, but after a while of thinking:

He speaks slowly and calmly quite often, so I can imagine that he can sometimes say things in very rhythmic fashion, which will catch on very quick

You're walking away from a quick chat with him, when he hears you whispering under your breath

Normally wouldn't even make a note of it, but he wants to make sure you're okay

(Definitely isn't worried about you and wanting to keep you safe)

His reaction when you tell him that you liked the way that he said something is a mix between "Oh, that's nice" and "What are you on about"

Has probably the least amount of education on stimming, but also one of the most open to learning, since he wants to do what he can to keep those he cares about safe and happy

Will be a bit put off by the way you seem to copy him at first, but definitely doesn't mind after a while

Silently thanks you for making him take a moment to appreciate his own voice

Pakunoda

Sweetheart hums a meteor city anthem one day, and isn't really shocked when she comes upon you humming it yourself

Since she's looked into your mind with her ability, she knows the way that you like to echo certain sounds, and doesn't mind at all

If she's listening from around a corner or such, she will smile joyfully and quietly wait out of your sight

Unless you catch her in the act, she's actually quite happy to not let you know of presence while she enjoys the thought of you enjoying her culture

But, if you do catch her, she'll probably start gushing to you about the origin of whichever song you wanted to imitate

She wants you to feel happy, however you wish to pursue that, and will absolutely hype you up in any sort of stimming you need to do

Whether you want her to ignore your echoing, or to join in whenever she hears, she's happy to do whatever you ask to keep you happy

Feitan

If he catches you copying something he said in broken language, at first he will assume that you were making fun of him

Not because he thinks that you're mean spirited, just because he's used to people mocking

With most members of the Troupe, he would show no mercy at this point, but since he actually likes you, you get one chance to explain yourself

Once you tell him about why you're copying him, he'll be seriously confused for a moment

Yeah he's never heard the word echolalia before

So you'll have to explain it to him

Probably doesn't immediately get it, but he lets you off the hook for it, since he does understand that you're very different from him and the others

Doesn't really think too much of it once you've cleared up that you aren't mocking him, although he finds it interesting to listen to you talking about how stimming works, even when he doesn't understand half of it

Kortopi

Actually another case that assumes that you're mocking him

He's used to being acknowledged as a weak link in the Troupe, and would get quite internally upset if he thought you were also in on the joke

I can't explain why I think this, but I actually see him as one of the most educated members of the group when it comes to any sort of neurodiversity, since I think he's neurodivergent himself, but he probably doesn't catch on immediately that this stems from your own autism

Wouldn't confront you straight away, but when he does, he tries to be as professional as possible about it

Cue a string of quiet apologies when you explain yourself

Quickly tries to explain himself to you, and you probably bond over how annoying it can be to have stimming misunderstood

Tries his best to let you know from then on that any symptoms you need to express are accepted around him, since he knows that you accept him as well

-----

Thanks for reading!

[officialleehadan]

Claxon Call

The Quasar was a ship unlike any ever built. In fact, it wasn’t built as a single ship at all, but was rather a series of destroyers that had been fused together. The garden domes, were added later, and so were most of the more serious weapons, and armor. All in all, it was a fortress, and not one that most people were willing to challenge.

So when the claxons sounded, and the shields dropped, Cuira called her handmaidens together, sat them down, and determinedly kept calm.

“There is nothing we can do to affect the battle,” Cuira told them as she took a seat beneath her lemon tree again, and reached for her basket. It held half a dozen half-finished projects of various sorts, and she chose one at random. The one that came to hand was her bobbin-lace pillow, and she got it settled on her lap with hands that barely shook. It wasn’t her first space-battle, and she was used to being left to wait and see what happened. “Better to get comfortable. Does anyone have anything to read aloud?”

“Bess has a book of poetry,” Mariza said. Like Cuira, she was afraid, but she hid it well. All of Cuira’s handmaidens had some combat training, but they were chosen to be decorative, and as a last chance for survival, not as warriors. She set her picnic basket in the center of their ring in case anyone got hungry. Cuira doubted any of them could stand to eat, but then, she didn’t know any of her six maids terribly well. Mostly, it was because they were a somewhat flighty lot. “Bess, would you read to us? It might- it might help with the noise.”

“Alright,” Bess said, braver than Cuira expected. She was afraid, like they all were, but given a little instruction, she seemed to do reasonably well. “If- If Your Majesty doesn’t mind, it’s mostly about flowers.”

“I don’t mind,” Cuira assured her. Given, poetry about flowers wasn’t her first choice, but they didn’t have much in the way of options unless someone happened to have a communications padd handy, which she rather doubted. Cuira herself preferred actual books in her hands, a product of a decidedly old-fashioned education that put emphasis on the permanence of physical knowledge. Go ahead if you like. The rest of you, talk as you will, but please keep your voices low for those who are listening.”

There was a murmur of frightened agreement around the circle, but some of the tension faded away. Bess was one of the youngest maids, but she read well, and the poems turned out to be about the small personifications of the flowers themselves, and was much more enjoyable than Cuira expected. The rest of the maids spoke quietly amongst themselves, and offered soft thanks when Cuira opened her craft-basket to them.

Anything that helped to distract frum the thunderous explosions that rocked the ship was welcome.

A claxon sounded in the distance, just near enough to be heard, and Cuira determinedly ignored it. Either there was danger, or there wasn’t, and there was very little chance any of them would be much help in any situation at present. Another claxon sounded, closer this time, and the garden dome shuddered furiously as something struck it.

It went on for more than an hour. The shudder of impact on the dome, and the ship around it. The claxons that sounded, and silenced, and sounded again somewhere else. The distinctive rumble of the Quasar’s huge engines roaring to life, ready to maneuver them amidst the unseen fight outside. Cuira determinedly kept her mind on her project, and her ears on Bess’s poetry as her maids talked nervously around her. When the battle came up as a topic, she gently steered them onto softer topics.

No need to allow themselves to become frantic.

Halfway through the battle, Cuira noticed the gardeners of the dome creeping closer, not out of aggression, but seeking what little stability they could find in the moment. She caught their eyes, one by one, and gave each a small nod of permission. One by one, they settled, politely distant from her circle of maids, but close enough to hear Bess.

Perhaps some would scold her for allowing the workers of the ship so near, but she knew these gardeners. They were often the friendliest faces she saw all day, and they never bothered her when she sought the peace of the gardens. Now, they were afraid, and she could offer them some comfort in return.

A massive explosion made the whole ship tilt, and the stabilizers fired. Cuira found herself tumbling sideways as the ground dropped away to her left. Flailing hands caught hers, and she pulled herself into a tight knot with her maids, supported by the planters to either side of them.

“Stay calm,” she instructed, even though her own heart pounded. She hoped it didn’t show in her voice. “His Majesty will settle matters soon enough. There is no reason to panic.”

Mariza snorted in her ear, and Cuira elbowed her, but didn’t comment. Soon enough, the ship tilted back to level, and Cuira breathed a sigh of relief. When no more explosions followed, she gathered her lace back onto her lap, and put her back to the planter just in case the ship listed again. It took Bess two tries to start reading again, but she managed it and Cuira gave her a smile of approval. Perhaps she had been too hard on her maids. They were doing their best, and she was not an easy charge.

Finally, the alarms silenced, and did not return. The explosions faded away, and the Quasar fell still, at peace once more. Cuira waited until Bess finished her latest poem, about the mischievous spirit of a chestnut tree, and then got to her feet. The rest of her maids scrambled to follow.

“It seems the battle is over,” she said, and shook her skirts out, before she tucked her lace away in her basket. It went over to redheaded Nina, who looped it over her arm without a word. “Mariza, Whiloh, Hanni, Brihn, with me. The rest of you, back to my chambers. With luck, I will return soon with news. Until then, be safe and stay out of the way if you can. We don’t know what new enemy has dared to attack our home.”

+++ Forging an Empire:

Cuira was sent to marry a man who would soon rule a substantial part of their galaxy. She would have been happier about it if she had a chance to meet him first.

Garden Dome

+++

More Stories!

+++

[whump-world]

Can we go together?

@badthingshappenbingo - Bleeding Out

TW: conditioned mindset, dissociation, non-descriptive female whump, manhandling, wrestling, gunshots, knives, blood, panic attacks, implied future death lol, mention of noncon body modification, black out, mentions of past punishment/torture, implied past captivity, mentions of burns. very  brief suicide idealization

First | Previous

“We have a long night ahead of us. We’ll get the trackers set later,” Sir had said before telling him to bring the jeep around to the front. Kiḷi immediately knew with hair-raising fear that things are going south for him tonight. Sir had ordered trackers to be punched back into his ears after he confessed to seeing Thumla and he had thought that would be on the itinerary tonight. There’s some relief at the delay, but Kiḷi puts off celebrating. His life is too unlucky, too unreliable for that.

Sir seems impatient, if not eager, to get to his destination as he hops in the back seat. The daily schedule is overlooked by Kiḷi usually, but tonight he’s a mere clueless driver, waiting for instructions with a stomach that wouldn’t settle. Kiḷi thanks the watchman with a quick wave and drives out of the manor smoothly.

They’d purchased a decrepit warehouse last month, which is the one Sir tells him to drive to, looking out the window. Sometimes he would close his eyes and comment on the radio’s tunes; Kiḷi would know it’s been a good day those times. He makes it in ten minutes, rounding to the back to park where it would be hard to spot. There are a few of their men’s vehicles too, and once Kiḷi kills the engine, he can hear the noise coming from inside the building that’s supposed to be empty.

He looks over his shoulder at Sir, who doesn’t acknowledge his surprise. Then again, Kiḷi wasn’t given any expectations. He’s not dull, it’s evident tonight is going to be about Thumla. But the roar from inside the building makes his stomach churn. This is not how Sir does things; lessons and punishments are always done in private. Anyone who took a look at Kiḷi in public would spot any marks left by Sir.

It gets louder as they walk toward the warehouse. There are no other houses except for more warehouses on sale, which gives them a small bit of privacy, though no one in their right mind would stop and check even if they do hear anything. It would be all too easy to appear on the news as an unidentifiable corpse on the docks.

Kiḷi pushed the door open for Sir, already noting the quick fall in volume from the people inside. He falters when he sees what’s been waiting. There’s a box cage made of steel fences on a platform. At first, he thinks the people surrounding the cage are faces he knows. A closer look proves him wrong. They part like the red Moses for Sir, and Kiḷi diligently follows.

If he’d thought that everyone’s presence was atypical from Sir’s usual punishments, then this cage match is even more bizarre. The older man doesn’t care for such theatrics. Kiḷi frowns and is about to voice his concerns, at least about the sizably larger crowd than their circle, when Sir comes to a stop next to a young man.

Sir’s son, Indra. Sir 0.2, Thumla used to say, for they had the same thick brows and sharp jaw. Kiḷi would say the similarities end there. He scowls at him, biting back the retort at Indra’s ridiculous white shirt ends tied at his waist, revealing a lot of chest and yet another thin striped top underneath, paired with white pants. Sir is dignified next to his son, his suit shining almost majestically.

“Indra,” Sir greets, not unlike how he would greet any other guest, but anyone within hearing radius would hear the animosity and general disdain in that single word. Indra, to his credit, doesn’t tremble in his boots like anyone else either.

“Father,” he grins. “We should do this more often.”

“My people don’t run away as often as yours,” Sir replies, unbuttoning his coat to sit down. There’s a clear view of the cage and as Indra takes the seat next to Sir, Kiḷi realizes whose idea this is.

“My people have free will,” Indra explains, tone barbed with meaning as he glances at Kiḷi.

“Lack of discipline,” Sir retorts, then sighs. “Where’s the girl you promised?”

“Ah, she’s here. Like a firecracker that one.” He laughs, calling one of his men over and whispering something into their eyes.

“Thumla?” Kiḷi couldn’t help but ask. Sir nods, not looking at him. He presses his tongue to the roof of his tongue, the pain grounding him in the midst of noise and emotions. The new burn on his tongue doesn’t let him eat all day, and every time he swallows, there’s a quick rush of nausea due to the taste of burnt flesh. He uses that now, burning the worry until it too makes him swallow slowly.

A few of Indra’s men come back with Thumla; she’s limp as she’s dragged and thrown into the cage. Kiḷi is unable to look away, pouring fuel to his worry and making it roar up as anger. The scarf on her head is soaked with blood, and surrounded by clamor she’s yet to awaken. He turns to Indra. “What did you do?”

Indra looks up at him, stretching out in his chair languidly. He crosses his arms behind his head. “What’s it to you?”

Kiḷi frown darkens. He rarely ever talks to Indra, and the few times he does, he has to practice massive amounts of self-restraint. He’s about to tell him where to shove it when Sir speaks up, waving the air between the two of them like he can smell the on-coming argument. “I allowed it, Kiḷi.”

Indra shrugs at him.

There’s something boiling in Kiḷi’s chest. It’s at the edge of his conscious, like something that vanishes if he looks at it directly, but lingers when he’s not. Sir rolls his eyes at something Indra says and it comes to Kiḷi with shocking clarity. Sir could have asked Kiḷi to bring back Thumla, but he hadn’t been trusted. And the only thing he feels about that is jealousy. It horrifies him.

Pia catches his eye from the crowd. She doesn’t approach, but she mouths “Sorry” before jerking her head at the three boys entering the wrestling cage. Pia’s maroon-dyed hair, a trend she tried to get him into, is messy and she isn’t wearing her hoops and eyeliner.

He nods. Seems like they’d been given the news only sometime before him.

They slap Thumla awake. She lies there, completely at their mercy. The guy who’d slapped her goes to kick her, but her hand shoots out and grabs him by the ankle. In an instant, she sits up and used both her hands to twist his leg, cracking it to an unnatural angle before shoving him away.

The guy who’d been hanging in the back keeps his eyes on her, but his hand grabs at the door to find it locked. Thumla is still sitting on the ground, so the second guy takes advantage to knee her in the face.

Kiḷi clicks his tongue as she goes down, anxiously putting his hand into his pockets, then pulling them out. He doesn’t notice Indra glancing over.

Thumla has her back to them, so he could only watch as she backs away on her elbows. She takes a few more kicks, but Kiḷi is the only one who waits without breathing while the others cheer for the buffoons. She hits the corner of the cage and slowly gets to her feet. The next time guy number two cocks his arm for a punch, she’s already in motion. Thumla jumps up and grabs the two sides of the fence and kicks him hard in the face. He staggers away. She nurses her hands for the chain links didn’t go easy on her fingers.

The third guy makes a beeline for the door again and screams at his friends on the other side to let him out. Kiḷi scoffs and watches as Thumla rains down punches on him until his nose is bleeding and one eye refused to open.

“You trained two of them?” Indra asks Sir, amused, curious, wary even. Indra rose to power only a year ago, so he’s never seen both of them in action at the same time. But watching Thumla’s style, it’s as clear as blood on teeth. “Dangerous game to play.”

Sir doesn’t say anything, but Kiḷi snaps. “What in the world are you talking about?” He’s been trained not to swear, but gods above, he wants to throw every curse he knows at Indra.

“I knew this girl was kinda a pain-in-the-ass, but someone your lapdog couldn’t get a hold of?” He props his chin on his fist and drawls. “My my. It makes one think.”

“Don’t strain yourself,” Kiḷi mutters.

“Then my little birdie told me—well, they told me something and I realized you didn’t even order him to find the girl at all.”

Kiḷi keeps his attention on the fight, lest the jealousy writhing in his gut shows on his face. Indra’s voice is grating to Kiḷi, undulled by the cheer that goes around the cage as another two, Pia and someone, get in with Thumla. Her clothes are torn and she’s favoring her right side as she sizes them up. A good friend would be thinking of her, not worrying over Sir’s trust in him.

Sir’s resolute gaze is on Thumla, emotionless towards the girl he’d raised.

“Dead silence. Really? Not even a condescending look?”

Thumla is fighting with Pia, and though she’s not losing, she’s not winning either. Sir seems to notice her draining fuel. “Why don’t you go see her? Say hi,” Sir says to Kiḷi.

No, no, no.

He’s thinking of running away or lightning striking him dead, but his body obeys, reaching behind to take out the gun stuffed into his jeans’ waist. Sir shakes his head. Kiḷi pauses, leaving it where it was. The pounding in his ears doesn’t lessen so it’s fortunate Sir doesn’t give vocal commands after that and just tips his head at the cage.

Indra’s posture is lax as if he’s eternally bored, but there’s a spike of feeling as they lock gazes. Something… something that makes Kiḷi look away in shame.

Kiḷi half hopes the people between him and the cage wouldn’t let him pass. But as his shoulders shove into theirs and their heads swivel around in annoyance to see who it is, they step aside with grudging noises and let him walk forward until he’s climbed up the platform. Pia is let out.

Thumla is searching patting down one of her victims, already holding a pocketknife between her teeth. She could climb out of the cage, but considering the mob outside, she doesn’t. In truth, Kiḷi doesn’t see the point in fighting back at all. Put in her place, he wouldn’t. Perhaps that’s why she was the one to get a few years of freedom.

Is he really going to shoot her?

If only he’d told Sir the minute he met her. Then maybe Sir would have shown leniency. Or made someone else do this.

“Come closer and I’ll gut you. I don’t care if it’s you, you he-hear me?” Thumla says, yet to see the gun. He takes it out but hesitates. Like an animal, she darts forward and slams him against the cage, shoving into his chest and pinning his wrist so that he couldn’t take aim at her. She’s panting, those painful exhales warming Kiḷi’s face. She smells like blood. He hates it.

“Wh-what the hell? This is a wrestling cage. Be a man if you want to kill me here.” Her lips tremble, which looks hellish with the swollen side of her cheek. “Or I won’t ever forgive you.”

Kiḷi struggles in her grip, handicapped by the close-range she’s in. There’s a pressure to his side, and he doesn’t need to look to know that the blade she picked up is about to stab him. He knees her in the stomach and then they’re a flurry of attacks and defenses, both trying to disarm the other.

Kiḷi uses brute force, though his usual attacks are easily dodged by Thumla who already knows him, trained with him, and grew up with him.

Minutes later, she’s straddling him, pressing down on a bruised rib with all her weight. Kiḷi’s thigh is bleeding profusely because of Thumla, but he doesn’t try to shoot her. Not yet. She isn’t shaking, the blade in her hand promising a slow death.

It’s like he’s behind a ten feet glass shield, the world around him becoming fragmented, muted, far. He clutches at Thumla’s hands, his reflexes taking the reigns. The sticky blood on her skin makes the world’s volume reduce further. God, he just wants to go home. He couldn’t kill her, he doesn’t want to.

Thumla yells at him; there’s a cutting determination ready to stab him in the heart. Kiḷi sincerely thinks she could make it if she kills him. Sir would need a replacement, and who’s better than her?

Thinking of Sir brings the world rushing back to vivid colors. Sir asked him to do this. Sir always asks him to do difficult things. But Sir wouldn’t ask him to do something without good reason. He’s holding off Thumla’s knife with all he’s got. The gun lies on the ground within arm’s range. If he could wiggle to the side, maybe he’ll be able to release Thumla and grab it without getting killed. He groans, the white-hot pain in his leg giving him ideas of just chopping the entire leg off.

He doesn't get the chance.

A bang.

An unmistakable sound.

Thumla’s eyes squeeze shut and the strength in her arms drains out. She flops down on Kiḷi. Her leg hits his wound. He flinches, pushing her leg aside. The knee-jerk reaction will cost him years of sleep, but he doesn’t know that when he looks at his leg, and inevitably the blood higher up on Thumla’s body. She’s bleeding profusely.

Kiḷi presses a flat palm to her back, frantically feeling for the wound until he finds a spot that makes Thumla scream. His trembling hand tries to soak up the red.

“Wait—” he croaks.

Thumla groans and he feels wetness on his shirt. She’s shaking as hard as he is, convulsing rather.

“Someone, help. Help,” he calls. His nausea is squashed down by Thumla’s weight. It can’t be like this. It can’t. Thumla is Thumla. She can’t die. Not like this. Not before he does. Can’t they go together?

He tries to sit up on his elbows, despite the burst of stars with every movement. He blinks slowly, keeping one hand on Thumla’s back, and propping himself with the other. Turns out that’s his limit. His vision darkens and blurs out the people, the noise, and the cage until he sees only one face hovering over his. Indra.

Then he blacks out.

Next

Taglist:  @firewheeesky @rizzamacka-whump @myst-in-the-mirror​ @crimson-wrld @mammonsemptycreditcard @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @scared-and-crying @ohlookthelittlegirlwrites

[thesightstoshowyou]

*leggy up and against the wall* henlo there , could maybe we get a taste of tommy boy when he needs to remind you and himself that you’re his and his alone ?

*Wiggles eyebrows* Henlo! Oh, happy day! I went crazy with this one <3

AFAB Reader (NSFW), Warnings: Kind of dubious consent, blood, gore, death of a minor character, creampie

            Unforgiveable Texas heat beats down on you as you make your way to the corner store. Despite the thick layer of sweat that has accumulated between your palms, you continue to hold Tommy’s hand. Your other clutches a paper bag with lunch for Luda Mae.

             Reaching the store, you find a truck parked out front. Travelers. Tommy motions toward the back door. Reluctantly, you release his hand and make your way to the front as he skirts around back.

             The bell above the door rings as you enter. Luda Mae gives you a small smile, one which you return. Handing off her lunch, you stand in front of the fan, letting the lukewarm air dry your dewy skin.

             “Well, shit, look at that,” you whip around when an obnoxious voice sounds behind you. A young man leans up against the counter as you turn. He’s tall, good looking, and fully aware of it. He bites his lip and lets his gaze drag down your body. Wrinkling your nose, you wrap your arms around yourself.

             “Thought it was just inbred hicks in this shithole, but looks like you just proved me wrong. What’s your name, cutie?” You’re shocked, jaw dropping at his words. Never in your life have you met someone so rude. Over at a table, the man’s friend snickers under his breath.

            Typically, you stay far removed from what Thomas and Hoyt did to the people who came through here, but today you might just make an exception.

            Your skin prickles. Glancing over the asshole’s shoulder, you find Thomas standing in the doorway to the back room. He’s seething, shoulders heaving, a murderous look in his eyes that nearly makes you stumble back. You’ve never seen him so angry. You know he has a bit of a temper, but this is something else entirely; something dark and savage.

            You clear your throat and respond, “Don’t have one,” before turning back to the fan.

            “Ah, c’mon sweetheart, don’t be like that.”

            “Think she wants to be left alone,” Luda Mae pipes up from behind the counter, frowning at the man over the top of her glasses.

            “We’re having a conversation here,” he snarks, throwing his hands up as though he’s not the one at fault. If looks could kill, this asshole would be dead three times over with how Tommy looks at him. Minutely, you shake your head at Thomas, then nod toward the door.

            “You know what? Yeah, let’s go outside so we can talk…privately,” you interrupt, giving the man your sweetest smile. His own lips quirk up in a self-satisfied grin. One last glance over your shoulder shows you Tommy has vanished.

            You lead him outside toward his pick-up. The man barely makes it three steps out the door before Thomas in on him. He grips the front of the man’s shirt, reels back, and whacks him in the face with a fist. You hear his nose crunch, watch the blood splatter the front of Tommy’s shirt. He crumples to the ground in a heap.

            His friend, watching through the window, is out the door in a flash, screaming obscenities, but like his friend, he proves to be no match for Thomas. Tommy grabs his face and twists, snapping his neck like one would a twig. Your eyes grow wide as saucers as you watch the friend tip over and land with a heavy thud, dry dirt billowing up around his still body.

            You’ve never seen Tommy kill anyone before. You’ve heard it, heard the roar of the chainsaw, listened to the screams, but you’ve never seen him unleash his raw brutality first hand. You swallow, eyes glued to the sweaty shirt stuck to his massive back.

            You shouldn’t be this turned on.

            Thomas doesn’t acknowledge you. Instead, he slings the man over his shoulder and strides over to the truck, dropping the tailgate and tossing the body inside. He does the same with the other man. Fishing the keys out of one of their pockets, he moves to the driver’s seat. Only then does he look at you expectantly.

            You have no choice but to follow.

*

             “Tommy wants ter see ya’,” Hoyt calls as he saunters into the dining room. You set down the stack of plates in your hands, frowning.

             “Right now?” you ask, nervous butterflies tumbling around in your gut. Your eyes flick to the darkened hallway leading to the cellar.

             “Did I stutter?” he snarks, making his way over to the fridge and peering inside. Why would he want you now, mid butchering? You hadn’t communicated once since the incident at the corner store.

            Hands trembling, you remove your apron before making your way toward the sliding metal door. You heave it open and descend the rickety stairs, the sharp tang of copper and musty damp meeting your nostrils the further you go. You pause on the bottom step, frown deepening.

            “HELP! Help me PLEASE!” You’re surprised to find the rude man from earlier still alive and strung up on a meat hook. Deep purple bruises bloom under his eyes, dried blood crusting along his nose and mouth where Thomas had hit him. He sobs, crying out in pain when the movement jars the metal piercing his flesh. His friend hangs limply next to him, both legs and an arm missing.

            You give Thomas a questioning look as he sloshes toward you through the water covering the floor. He’s still irritable, brow drawn down, blue eyes dark and dangerous. He retrieves you from the step and carries you to the blood drenched meat-cutting table.

            “Tommy, what are you—

            You yelp when Thomas slams your upper body down on the table so your legs hang over the side. Thick, gore covered hands lift your skirt and rip your underwear down to your knees. You squeak, cheeks heating up, looking anywhere but at the man suspended from the ceiling.

            “Thomas—

            You try again when the clink of a belt buckle meets your ears. Tommy pretends he doesn’t hear you, and you gasp when you feel his cock at your entrance. Gripping your shoulders, he slams home, burying every girthy inch inside your quivering cunt.

            You shriek, fingers scrabbling for a hold on the slippery table as Thomas pounds you into the surface. One hand slides from your shoulder to your neck, smearing blood across your skin as he tips your head back until you’re arched. At this angle, he mercilessly assaults that glorious spot deep within you.

            Your cunt responds, leaking until the slick noises of his cock popping in and out of you are almost louder than your unchecked moans. Normally, one of you would be covering your mouth so the rest of the family couldn’t hear, but, deliriously, you realize this is his goal. It dawns on you that he’s claiming you, proving you belong only to him in front of the man who had come onto you.

            This thought is enough to shove you violently over the edge, cunt clamping down around Tommy’s cock until you’re screaming, powerful waves of euphoria wracking your body. Behind you, Thomas groans and digs his fingers into your shoulder, hips ramming against you once more until he’s painting your insides.

            You gasp when he pulls out of you, flips you onto your back, tosses your legs over his shoulder and thrusts back into you, his length as hard as it had been at the start. You chant his name like a prayer when he resumes his frantic pace. Sweat drips down your brow as you arch, cumming on his cock a second time.

            Thomas is able to pull two more orgasms from your trembling body before his hips stutter once more. You groan in appreciation when you feel sticky warmth flood your cunt until it overflows, dripping down your ass and onto the table. Your heaving chest mirrors Tommy’s and when you raise your hazy gaze to his face, you find the tense look gone, replaced with contentment.

            Body aching, you slip your legs from his shoulders and sit up, gripping the front of his shirt to pull his lips down to yours. You whisper that you love him—only him—against his mouth and sigh when he wraps his arms around you, crushing you to his chest. You stay there, inhaling the scent of sweat and blood and sharp soap, the scent of him.

            A pathetic whimper to your left startles you. You glance over to the wide-eyed man hanging from the hook. You’d forgotten he was even there.

            Thomas releases you, cupping your face before retrieving the cleaver off the table next to you. In his eyes, you see a promise to pick this back up as soon as he ties up the loose end. Fondly, you smile.

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Scream Therapy

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x gender neutral!reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: extremely vague allusions to mental illness, metaphors about wounds, angst with a relieving ending, let me know if i’ve missed something

AO3 mirror

So you know those tiktoks where people go out into the woods and scream? Just like expel all the shit that’s been holding them down into an open field and let the earth reclaim all their dark, restless energy? Reveal the burdens that have been creaking in their joints and trapped in the prison of their ribs for the trees to swallow?

I’ve been thinking about that and Shigaraki a lot. 

Like the rest of the league too, but mostly Shigs. 

Just imagine: 

It’s late, it always is when shit is going down at the hideout. The League of Villains is practically nocturnal at this point. Shigaraki’s mind is a loud place—lot’s of rabid, train tearing down the track lines of thought that clatter and roar and gush toxic coal smoke.

So as annoyed as he makes himself out to be, he doesn’t actually mind the din of the bar all that much. Twice and Toga chattering in the corner, random bits of too loud laughter and the clink of Kurogiri polishing glasses as he tells off Dabi for the umpteenth time about smoking inside—hell, even Compress rambling about the health benefits of high quality wine to nobody in particular is somewhat...comforting?

That’s not quite the right word, but their noise settles around him a bit like a thick quilt and dampens the rampage inside his head for a while.

He thinks about a lot of things.

Some good, most bad, all obsessive. He’ll get stuck in these loops sometimes, small questions evolve into bigger, more complicated webs, and suddenly it’s been four hours and he’s done nothing but stare at the same spot on the wall just left of his desktop monitor.

Sleep is a terrifying venture for much the same reason. Once he gets caught in that cycling it’s so hard to break out, and that’s when he’ll stumble down the stairs and sequester himself away at the end of the bar.

There he will sit and listen to the incessant white noise of his team—which is frustrating too but infinitely better than whatever anxiety coated sludge his brain will come up with if left to its own devices, so he bears it.

And then there’s you.

Who you are isn’t entirely important.

Maybe you’re just another member of the League, dedicated to helping your boss spread villainy across the city. Maybe you’re a morally ambiguous civilian who just stumbled in much like a stray cat into a depressed college student’s apartment and simply never left.

Whatever the circumstances, where you came from doesn’t matter.

To him, your contributions to the din are just another layer of insulation against the storm. He couldn’t really care less what you do, or where you go when you weren’t there. As long as your voice could offer a different type of grating against his ears than the silent throbbing of his head when he is alone, then your presence is justified.

Shigaraki only takes notice of you when you leave, when your voice is no longer adding to the uproar drowning out whatever new thought spiral he was trying to claw his way out of.

It’s very late then. That odd, in between time when it’s closer to the sunrise than to it’s setting but somehow also the darkest portion of the night. Of course, it’s never totally dark—not with all the light pollution laying an ever present, glowing haze across the horizon—but it’s as close as it gets out here to pitch black.

He catches the tail end of your coat, a glimpse of your shoe soles as you slip up the stairs and climb the wrought iron ladder that leads to the roof. Shigaraki often catches himself wondering how you figured out exactly how to avoid each board that creaked. He thinks sometimes it’s because you like going unnoticed, that too much attention makes you feel just as shaky as he gets when he’s been inside his head too long. Or possibly you just don’t want to wake anyone up in the rare moments that some League members are actually asleep.

Regardless, he watches you go and feels strangely...compelled to follow and because he rarely feels compelled to do anything unless it’s furthering the downfall of hero society, he does.

He takes an unsteady step, then another until the brisk, cusp-of-summer air is washing over him. It bites through his thin black top and the worn holes in his jeans, but the sting feel likes something.

And since he almost always feels nothing at all, it’s good.

You’re stood a few feet from the edge of the building, where the ledge has begun to crumble away from age and poor maintenance. The wind is strong enough that it makes your limp arms sway by your sides. Shigaraki is so thin now, he’s almost afraid for a moment it might blow him away. He’s found himself feeling so insubstantial as of late, it’s shocking when his feet don’t lift off from the roof entirely. He crosses the distance towards you slowly. 

If you hear him approaching, you don’t show it.

Normally he wouldn’t start a conversation of his own volition but he did follow you up here and the silence is getting a bit deafening, even with the breeze.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

It’s simple, but it’s all he can think to say. Funny, with how many words that run through his head, he can never find the right ones when he wants them.

You turn then, and your face is...well it’s a face. He tends not to look at people’s faces much—doesn’t want to see their expressions when they look at him, but from what he can tell you aren’t upset that he’s here at least.

“I love the city at night.”

That’s all you offer in response and he knows somehow that you’ll keep talking even if he doesn’t answer. That you know how much he hates the quiet but can’t ever fill it himself.

“When you’re up high enough, you can pretend the streetlights are stars,” you divulge, as if it’s some sort of great, long kept secret.

Maybe it is.

Maybe you have a lot of secrets. You seem to him like the type of person who would. Who keeps life changing truths tucked under your tongue to drop suddenly over convenience store dinners and cheap beer.

He thinks that maybe he’d like to know them.

“It’s always so alive during the day, the streets I mean,” you continue, eyes trained out on the buildings below, tracing constellations from block to block. “But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s rotting too like….”

You trail off and don’t finish the thought, but you don’t have to. He knows what you mean: like the city is a wound that’s festering. That all the people and the heroes that corral them like cattle are just an infection waiting to spread.

“What are you doing here?” he asks again, because he hasn’t been able to come up with anything else.

Your gaze flits over his face this time, and Shigaraki almost misses the small smile that plays at your lips. He’s close enough now that you could touch him, and you almost do, shoulders just inches away from brushing. But you don’t close the gap.

You touch the others, a lot actually, though he gets the sense you’re the type to ask first. And with his mind running on overdrive every waking second, he gets overstimulated easily. He should probably be thankful you aren’t as familiar with him. That you bother to notice the distance he keeps even when he rarely pays you any mind.

Maybe you’re thankful for that too.

“You know, scream therapy is a very effective and cheap alternative to professional intervention,” you say matter of factly in response.

He waits for you to continue and you do.

“There’s no one out this late but heroes on patrols and they won’t come to help us, so this is a perfect opportunity to give it a try.”

He can feel his brow knitting together and you raise your hand for a second as if to smooth your thumb over the wrinkled skin. Shigaraki doesn’t move, but watches your fingers pause in mid motion and drop back down.

There’s a strange charge in the air between you—a spark he distantly wishes would ignite if only so he could stop churning in his gut.

“How do you do it?”

He’s never asked so many questions of anyone in his life. But he finds he truly wants to know.

And you’re the one that can show him.

You breathe deeply beside him, letting your eyes drift shut and taking a step towards the ledge. With hands balled into righteous little fists, you bend a bit at the waist and you...scream.

Shigaraki isn’t quite sure what he’d expected, but for some reason it wasn’t that.

He’s heard shouts before, cries for help or out of fear, but nothing like this. The sound seems to bubble up from some deep, dank pit inside you and bursts forth from your mouth like a geyser spewing boiling water from the earth. It’s long and low and loudloudloud. It isn’t a sound he could ever imagine you making, but it rumbles in his chest as if it’s his own.

Just watching has a weight lifting from his shoulders.

You keep going even when he knows you should have run out of air. But you aren’t really making the noise, you’re just letting it escape. He’s not sure how he knows that but he does.

Your voice cracks and snaps and rages forth and you scream in a way he feels in his very bones. The garbled, awful sound is so clearly understandable despite the wind that carries it away.

It says: I am free and young and can feel none of it.

And then it’s words. Words that tumble from you in a torrent.

About your family, about what’s been done to you, what you’ve done to yourself.

About the lies and the injustice of it all.

You’re heaving by the end, deflated as though all the screams had left behind an empty space—an abscess drained and ready to heal over or fill back up.

“It’s your turn.”

Shigaraki stares at you, silhouetted by the dull, silver glow of the city and panting. You both look at each other for a moment, reveling in the odd connection that sometimes forms between strangers who know far too much about each other.

He doesn’t think he could top that, but the energy you’ve created is invigorating and he’s determined to ride the wave while he has it.

Taking a step, he joins you by the ledge again, and you back up as if allowing him into the spotlight. The wind will swallow whatever he says, it will eat the words like a starving behemoth and he finds himself ready to feed the beast.

He has to dig deep, scratch at old sores to make them bleed again, tear at scabs so he can let the contaminating thoughts leak out. Once he feels like he’s breached far enough, Shigaraki takes a breath.

And he screams.

His body doubles over with the strength of it, foot slamming down onto the roofing and four fingers fisted in the hem of his shirt.

It hurts coming out, rips at his vocal chords and has his throat raw to bleeding after just the first few seconds but he pushes past it.

He wonders if this is what a runner's high feels like, when you’ve pushed beyond the side stitches and knee aches and your blood finally rushes with all those elusive feel good chemicals he never has enough of.

Whatever it is, the feeling is addicting.

Shigaraki is dimly aware of you in his peripheral, encouraging the tsunami thoughts in his head to be thrust out into the uncaring arms of the city skyline.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t have to search for the words. They simply come. All his frustrations, some he wasn’t even conscious of, spill fresh and steaming like blood. Physically, his body remains but somewhere in the depths of his mind he is younger and hurt and alone and trying desperately to scream.

“I destroy everything I touch!” he roars at the apathetic, grey sidewalk below.

After the last word leaves him, he feels the same weightlessness he’d seen in the sag of your shoulders. The same snapping of the coil slack in his spine.

And suddenly, with this glorious, awful sense of revelation, Shigaraki realizes that everything in his head has gone quiet.

He’s over taken by a silence that requires no filling, a peace that he’d imagined only existed at the bottom of abandoned wells, far away from any chubby child’s hands that may toss foolish wishes down them.

He thinks about kissing you then.

And he knows now that this thought has always been there, but it was drowned like a subway rat in the aftermath of the hurricane brewing in his brainstem. He has always noticed you no matter how hard you try to blend into the background. Your voice has always been a bit better at shutting out the unending, worthless choir in his head.

He wouldn’t have followed anyone else up here—not Dabi, not Spinner, not Compress or even Kurogiri.

He can see that now. In this new enlightened state, everything is so much clearer. Though he is quickly thrust back into the present, into his body once again, as another kind of soft weight settles on his shoulders. Your coat is skin warmed and smells like you and everything he’s ever loved in his own screwy little way. He realizes then that you’ve been trying to talk to him this whole time.

“Shigs,” you call again and tuck the coat tighter around his shoulders, “you were shaking.”

Shigaraki nods, feeling relief from the cold he hadn’t quite been aware of till now. He’s not sure if you’ve ever addressed him so informally before, but he decides he likes the nickname.

It feels a bit like a gift.

“Better, yeah?”

He’s not really sure if it’s better, but it is different and it’s been impossibly long since anything has been different, so he thinks it must be good.

“Yes,” he says.

It’s a general yes, both to your question and to you, whatever that might mean. He doesn’t say anything more because he’s done enough talking and you nod like you understand.

Neither of you moves to leave the roof, but you do inch closer to him this time, closing the gap and tucking him into your side. Your arm is slung gently across his shoulders and he finds the weight of it relieving.

That seems like it shouldn’t make since but it does—a paradox of sorts, weight being a comfort.

Then the sun begins to rise and it’s as if he’s seeing you in a new light.

Your profile outlined by the stark daybreak rays, so horribly strong despite the scream he knows is forming again under the surface.

And Shigaraki wonders if you see him that way too.