#does anybody under 30 even know what’s on the left lol

[deliciouskeys]

I’m sorry.

[high-supernatural]

Growing Close

Kai Parker x Female Reader/Character

Word Count: 1994 (ironic, lol)

Warnings: typical tvd themes, S.Assault mentions/details, trauma themes, surgery, blood (it’s a little gruesome but I cope through writing, so just be warned it can be triggering)

Summary: Kai and V grew pretty close over the weeks. Something happens to V and he is forced to handle it like a human. 

***since y’all like the one shots better than the series, I’m gonna write one shots for female readers under the name V for what I would’ve/will write in the series***

It has been a few weeks since Kai and V kissed. They grew closer in their own way. Neither of them wanted to admit their feelings for each other, they honestly didn’t know how to identify or describe those feelings anyways. All they both knew is that they wanted to be near each other always.

They started doing more things together. Instead of telling the other where they’d be in case something happened, they’d go together. They’d eat, drink, and just hang out together almost all the time. They still liked pushing each other’s boundaries, but now they were more comfortable doing it more intensely.

V liked to watch Kai get flustered when she’d walk out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel and change in front of him, claiming it was what they did in her world so he shouldn’t worry about it. Kai liked to push boundaries with physical touch. He’d always be touching her in some way – surprise hugs from behind, “accidental” grazes and bumps, losing all concept of personal space.

Neither of them minded, but neither of them wanted to make an actual move on each other either.

Those few weeks were the best weeks either of them has had in a long time. There were no real expectations, no fights being had, nobody’s life to save… just vibes.

V left in the middle of the night one night and left Kai a note saying her friend called and that she’d be back in a few hours. When Kai woke up in the morning and saw the note but didn’t see her, he worried.

Kai called her friend and was told V never showed up, so he began searching town for any leads, coming up empty on each one before deciding to call it a night and try again early the next morning.

He didn’t know what to feel. He started off worried that something had happened, but as more and more leads turned out to be dead ends, he thought she might have left for good, and his emotions became unsettling.

He was proved wrong though. As he was dozing off he heard somebody fumbling with the door of the motel room and got up to investigate before V came through it, half asleep and looking like hell. She opened the door and took two grumbled steps inside before her knees buckled and Kai caught her by placing an arm around her waist, kneeling down with her and pushing the door closed.

He got down on one knee to lay her head on and tried to wake her up, but she wouldn’t. She was breathing, and her heart was beating, it just seemed as though she was in a deep sleep Kai couldn’t understand.

A thousand possibilities raced through his mind. He saw her messy hair and bruises on her skin, but it still didn’t explain why she was asleep. He thought maybe something magic happened at first, so he tried to reverse it with no avail.

That’s when he carried her into the bathroom fireman style, thinking that putting her in the shower and turning the water on would wake her up like it does in the movies.

When they got into the bathroom, he got a glimpse of the back of her legs where her skirt wasn’t covering, and it all made more sense. He saw bruises in the shapes of bites and handprints, and realized that she wasn’t being attacked with magic, she was being attacked by regular people and rufies, and he became more frantic to get her conscious.

He didn’t know what to do. He had never experienced anything like this. He stuck to his shower theory and got in with her with all of their clothes on, pleading with her to wake up and tell him what happened, saying that he’s sorry and he should have been with her to prevent anything from happening.

His theory proved him wrong, she didn’t wake up in the 30 minutes he had sat there with her waiting, so he decided she should sleep it off. He took just her shirt and skirt off and wrapped her in a robe so she wouldn’t sleep in totally wet clothes. For what felt like days, he laid next to her waiting for her to wake up.

This had been the only time Kai could actually get inside of her mind; she was in a fragile state. He could see inside her mind and saw exactly what had happened. Instead of letting her remember everything, he modified her memories to make her believe she had gone for a walk, got into a fight, and came back with the bruises she had. He figured she would like that memory better than the reality and would deal with loopholes as they came, but hoped they never did.

He had expected her to wake up the next morning, but she didn’t, she was still just sleeping. He had woken by cold air as V had rolled all of the covers onto her. Kai leaned over to try to wake her, thinking she had woken and got cold, but when he leaned over, he felt her shivering and burning up. He remembered what she did when he had a fever and wet a washcloth with cold water to put over her forehead and continued watching over her, waiting for her to wake up.

He felt an unfamiliar feeling through all of this – he felt worried and didn’t know what to do about it, but also knew that V wouldn’t want anybody to know about it, so he took to google and was only met with a world of information that was useless to him in this moment. All throughout the day she was shivering and coughing in her sleep, and he couldn’t do anything to help.

To pass his time while she slept he decided to open her journal again to read the letters she had wrote to the Kai she knew in her world because the sudden silence from her began eating at him. He began to search for them, getting lost in each page she had wrote on in the process. More new emotions washed over him but he couldn’t tear his eyes off the pages. There had been so much she never told him about, so many boundaries he pushed that could’ve been triggers for her that she let him push. He felt a little guilty at this fact, even more so when he found the letters he was looking for. 

He read so much expression of pain and loss she felt towards the Kai she knew in her world, and so much joy and borderline possessiveness in the letter he found that she had addressed to him that she never delivered. He felt a new type of way towards her that he couldn’t describe, but he knew he had to do whatever he could to keep her near him.

She woke up late that night as Kai was dozing off and stumbled into the bathroom disoriented. He woke up to groggily ask if she was okay, but she didn’t answer.

He sat up and listened as the shower turned on and she got inside. He heard her coughing a lot more and just closed his eyes to listen, knowing there wasn’t anything he could do. It wasn’t until he heard silence that he wished she was coughing again.

Kai walked into the bathroom and asked V if she was okay before opening the shower when she didn’t respond. He saw blood on her lips and realized she had been coughing blood, then he saw a growing bruise on her lower stomach and panic came across him when she really wouldn’t wake up this time.

His magic still wasn’t helping. For once in his life, he couldn’t do anything but be a human and rush her to the hospital.

The hospital staff bombarded Kai with questions and wouldn’t let him near V by Jo’s orders. Feelings of helplessness grew extreme as he sat in the waiting room for hours with no updates.

Eventually, Jo approached Kai as he stood up to hear her immediate accusations.

“What did you do to that girl,” Jo said with an angry attitude.

“I didn’t do anything I—” Jo cut him off, “I have a hard time believing you. We just had to remove her ovary in the worst case of trauma and internal bleeding I have seen in my career thanks to whatever you did,” she finished angrier than before.

Kai had a look of sadness and remorse wash over him, “she’s my best friend, Jo, you have to believe me… I didn’t do anything,” Kai almost pleaded with her, “we’ve been staying together for months, since before the merge, she left one night and came back the next, she wouldn’t wake up, I didn’t know what to do—”

Jo cut him off again, “yeah, well, you also murdered your family, I wouldn’t put it past you to do something this horrific.”

“If I was the one who did this, why would I bring her here,” Kai asked, “if anybody knows my tact it’s you, I wouldn’t have brought her here if I did.”

Jo processed what he had said for a moment. “Either you suddenly gained a conscious or you’ve gone crazy then. Cops will be here to take her statement soon, I suggest you stay out of their way,” she snapped and walked away.

Kai figured out what room she was in by looking into every room until he found her sitting up in her hospital bed with her legs hanging over.

He walked in and locked the door behind him, “what are you doing, you need to be resting,” he said, placing his hand on her shoulder trying to get her to lay back down.

“If I’m gonna die it’s not gonna be in a hospital with zero interior design aesthetic,” she said swaying slightly from the morphine, “just do me a favor and grab my clothes so we can get out of here before people start asking questions I don’t know the answer to.”

Kai grabbed her bag out of the small cabinet in her room and handed her clothes. She slid her way off the bed and avoided standing on the leg on the side she had surgery on, grabbing onto the bed so she wouldn’t fall as Kai watched, unsure of what to do now knowing that she’s always set in her ways and won’t argue them. He figured it was easier to help so she wouldn’t hurt herself than it would be to try and stop her.

She grabbed her shirt and dropped it when trying to unfold it. Kai grabbed it before she could process that it slipped from her hands – morphine is one hell of a drug.

“Here, lemme help you,” he said rolling her shirt to put it on her.

“I got it,” she tried arguing and grabbing her shirt from him before he slid it over her head faster than she could reach for it.

She struggled to find the arm holes but found them soon enough before throwing herself on the bed to put her sweatpants on the fastest she could in her morphine state.

V let out a dramatic breath and went to grab her backpack, but Kai got to it first and snatched it before she could, “I got it,” he mumbled.

She looked at him as if she was processing what he said, “I’m gonna find a wheelchair,” he spoke against the silence.

“I’m not about to roll out of here riding bitch in a wheelchair… we gonna stroll like mob bosses,” she chuckled and took a few steps before Kai rushed beside her and put her arm around his neck, compromising a wheelchair for someone to hold onto just in case.

Kai drove back to the motel where she promptly made a bee line to the bed and fell back asleep for another half a day. Kai threw her bag down before walking over to cover her up and sit beside her to read more google searches on his phone.

When she woke up the next afternoon she was starving and ate while trying to get the story from Kai. His first loophole, questioning.

“You uh… you left in the middle of the night to go to Audrey’s and left me a note. On the way there a group of people tried to jump you, you got stabbed and came back here,” Kai explained with extreme nervousness.

She just nodded and said, “okay, and then? I don’t remember almost four whole days there has to be more.”

“I don’t know. You had a concussion, wouldn’t wake up, and were bleeding really bad, magic wasn’t helping so I took you to the hospital,” he lied again, “you don’t remember because they had you on a lot of morphine.”

“Hm, weird,” was all V said, “wanna watch a movie?”

Kai was more than relieved that she didn’t ask more questions.

[scatterpatter]

Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.

FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*

UNDER THE FUCKING CUT

1. What do they smell like?

Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.

2. What is their voice like?

Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Spite.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.

6. What do they like to wear?

He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Alistair's cooking.

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.

12. How do they like to dress?

"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."

"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Denial :D

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Shrike: Killing his dad

Me: NOOOOOO

EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.

19. Are they right or left handed?

FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well

Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.

20. Fears?

The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him

21. Favorite kind of weather?

Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.

22. Favorite color?

Indigo!!!

23. Do they collect anything?

Books :3

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold weather by far.

25. What is their eye color?

Electric blue!

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*

In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee

27. Hair color?

Black!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/

29. Are they a morning person?

NOPE.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

*motions to above question* Sunset.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

More organized, actually!

32. Pet peeves?

*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES

His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.

34. Least favorite food?

Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.

35. Least favorite color?

Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?

36. Least favorite smell?

He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.

37. When was the last time they cried?

Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

Torvid :D He was there to comfort

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN

40. Do they have any scars?

:)

Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

:)

Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Running away from his problems, definitely.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.

44. Why might someone love them?

He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

His party. Well- most in his party.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Nethyl :)

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*

49. Do they like surprises?

NO >:(

50. When is their birthday?

Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"

Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)

52. Do they have any family?

Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!

53. Are they close to their family?

... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/

54. What is their MBTI type?

FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.

55. What is their zodiac sign?

In Sekrezia: The eagle

In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/

57. What D&D alignment are they?

THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

:)

Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.

59. What are their views on death?

He's a necromancer lol.

Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Alistair :)

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

Dog time :)

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

... Ehhhhhh?

63. Do they have an accent?

Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."

66. How do they feel about sex?

I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.

67. What is their sexuality?

He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Bullshit.

73. Do they have a pet?

WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.

75. How patient are they?

More than he should be :/

76. Are they good at cooking?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.

80. Are they trustworthy?

Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.

82. Do they exercise regularly?

Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Someone he can nerd out with :)

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.

87. What is their age?

43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"

92. What mood are they most often in?

"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.

94. Outlook on life?

Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)

96. What is their greatest weakness?

He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.

97. What is their greatest strength?

He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!

98. Something that they regret?

Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister

99. Biggest accomplishment?

Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.

100. Create your own!

FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 6

First of all, as I gained a lot of new followers, just an FYI: This is me watching Word of Honor for the first time and writing down my thoughts as I go. Mostly it's me being confused as hell and giving all the characters weird names, because I can't remember the real ones. If this is not your thing, feel free to skip these posts and maybe blacklist "smirklord"

If you do choose to read along, please know that these are the most important characters:

Zhou Zi Shu = Baby Zi Shu/ Zhou Xu lord guy/alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy Wen Ke Xing = Smirky Xing/Smirky fan guy Gu Xiang = Purple Girl/my Purple Love/my Purple Queen Smirklord is my personal ship name for Zhou Zi Shu and Wen Ke Xing.

Previous episodes are here.

To anybody who was here before: Sorry that it took me so long to continue this. I accidentally came across a spoiler about my purple queen and I was pretty bummed about it. So I stopped watching for a while. Also, the show is getting more complex and I'm having a harder time remembering who everybody is. But anyway, let's go!

Episode 6:

LOL, Smirky Xing called Baby Xu Mom and wants to be carried. He's so cute when hallucinating.

Anyway, I'm glad Smirky Xing saved Baby Xu. Now, what's the thing he captured?

Baby Xu is hurt, thankfully he's also like a travelling pharmacist.

Oh, Smirky Xing, can I just point out that I have never before seen anybody accuse another person of being a serial killer with such a lovestruck expression on their face. And why do you keep insisting that you’re a good guy when nobody accused you of anything?

Oh, so the zombies and mummies weren't dead, but... living people controlled by someone? What?

LOL, "Do you have a dagger?" and Smirky Xing instantly pulls one out of his sleeve like it's no big deal, and who knows what else he keeps in there.

Ewww, is Baby Xu going to go stabbing at his own wounds? Please no.

Ewww, ewww, ewww. Oh, he's sucking out the poison I guess.

Waaah, what is Smirky Xing going to. - Oh. OMGOMGOMGOMG, eww, but also YESSS, you go for that shoulder kiss, honey, YES!  (Sorry, I had to rewind that moment a couple times). Let's rename Smirky Xing to Kissy Xing.

Oh, and this once and for all gave Baby Xu's diguise away. He didn't put make-up on his shoulder.

'Can you show me your real appearance' my ass. He wants to see you naked. And Baby Xu reminds him of consent. I mean, trust. But, really... consent.

OMG, "you can touch it." Yes! Touch it Baby Xu! Touch it!!!  Kissy Xing gave his permission!!!

Oooooh, they're dancing again!!!

OMG, they're going to the lake. Is this gonna turn into the dirty dancing lifting figure scene? PLEASE?

I don't even care, this 100% counts as the lifting scene.

Dude, what? Can you not swim? Baby Xu? You okay? He fell into the water, okay. But why doesn't he get back to the surface?????

Does he want to be saved? Please tell me he's not drowning. :O Kissy Xing looks so worried.

Whoa, where did his mask go? :O :O :O

Okay, okay, okay. Clothes on the drying rack, they're basically in their undies. And kissy Xing can't stop staring at Baby Xu's real face.

Real face baby Xu looks so much softer. Still pissy though, did he seriously just wipe the bottle neck? Come on, man. You had his lips suck on your skin already. I'm sure you can take his spit.

So kissy Xing's name is really Wen Ke Xing. And his face is really his face. I do wanna trust him so much. His voice is so soft all of a sudden. Wahhhh.

Oh, so the item they captured was from hanging ghost? But not the real one?

Kissy Xing, you killed the ghost guy while Baby Xu wanted to interrogate him. You say it was a mistake cause you were worried, but you could still very well be nuts guy and make sure nobody gives you away!

I feel a bit like Brad Pitt in Seven. WHAT'S IN THE BOX???!!!!

Zhou Zi Shu! Kissy Xing said the name. HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!!! He recognized him!!!! He knows who he is. But he doesn't say so to his face. Why is everything so confusing???

Should I call Baby Xu Baby Zi Shu from now on?

Noo, don't cut away from smirklord, I wanna keep watching smirklord!

Meh, some stupid guitar guy doing a Jimmi Hendrix impression and lots of dead guys, who might not actually be dead standing in line for the concert tickets.

Some tall hat guy. Who is he? He gets VIP acess.

Is it just me or do you also find it annoying when they're playing instruments and the music doesn't match the finger movements?

Ok, Hendrix guy is scorpion king. Is he related to the scorpion assassins? Anyway, he's got really cool hair. Total rockstar vibes.

Tall hat guy is trying to be charming and coming across like a record label manager.

Okay, so they both don't know what happened and who killed the other ghost guy. Oh, wait, is tall hat guy the one who stole the glazed armor from uncle Zhao? Is the item that Kissy Xing and Baby Zi Shu captured a piece of glazed armor??? :O

Ok, tall hat guy is changing ghost.

Back to Smirklord! YES!

Okay, Baby Zi Shu figured out the item box thing? Is the blue glass thing the glazed armor??? Tbh, it looks a bit like the plastic part of some kid's braces.

Yooo, Kissy Xing coming in hot with the rabbit dowry.

Whoa, Baby Zi Shu just throws the glazed armor over to Kissy Xing, like it's no big deal. He really really doesn't want it. Nice return gift, though.

Okay, what is this flirting? Baby Zi Shu keeps stating that he's a bad guy you need to be terrified of, much like Kissy Xing kept saying he's a good guy. And now he's calling Kissy Xing a trouble.

LOL, Kissy Xing agrees on the gift idea. He wants to carry it on his body. Nice.

K, k, it's uncle Zhao's glazed armor. The kid must have his own armor somehow. And the ghost guys are trying to play all the other parties and make them doubt each other. I see.

Kissy Xing is so whipped, wow. He'll do anything, including gutting the rabbits.

LOL, they're trying to give the kid food. Like that EVER worked before at all. No, uncle Zhao, you dimwit, he does NOT have a good appetite, lol.

Why is everybody giving the kid a hard time about crying. His family got murdered, his two adopted dads left him all alone with the two weird uncles... Of course he's gonna cry. Duh.

Ah, geez, Uncle Shen, just shut up. You know nothing. (he's not smart enough to be called a-hole guy anymore, sorry)

Okay, so, three glazed armor pieces have been stolen from their owners. But Uncle Zhao still has his? Then whose piece was stolen the other night? What? And who is brother Lu? Was that the kid's dad?

Now there's two more older guys, who are they? Oh, one is Lord of Broken Sword Manor. Wait, wasn't that magenta guy? Or was that his son? Somebody PLEASE fill me in here.

The other one is brother Yu, whoever that is.

Seriously, every time pleated skirt soldier boss jerk uncle shen a-hole guy opens his mouth I wanna slap him.

Kissy Xing and Baby Zi Shu are wearing new clothes. When and where did they change? Were they together when they changed? Hehe, I need to know. For science.

They are returning to the bamboo woods and the bodies from the previous night are gone. Kissy Xing asks why Baby Zi Shu had the antidote to the hallucination drug. Actually, good question. Baby Zi Shu, why DID you have the antidote? Oh, it's a Window of Heaven thing?

WHATWHATWHAT? The illusion makes people see what they WANT THE MOST? And Baby Zi Shu drops this knowledge just like that while WE know that Kissy Xing called him by his real name, i.e. saw HIM, whilst under the illusion??? WHAT???

Nooo, Kissy Xing, why are you lying? Why won't you tell what you saw when you hallucinated? I wanna know too, gah!!!

Yo, Baby Zi Shu DEVELOPED the illusion drug? As a sleep remedy, lol. Nice.

K, who's the guy in the carriage at Sanbai Manor? Han Ying. Who is that? Have we seen him before?

Did Baby Zi Shu just tell Kissy Xing the truth about himself killing people, setting them on fire etc.? That came out super smooth.

They're talking about this heroes conference that was mentioned before, but I have no idea what it is, and what it relates to. I'm so bad at remembering TV series plotlines... I'm assuming that this conference is where the uncles take the kid to.

Aww, Baby Zi Shu keeps close by and watches over the kid.

Kissy Xing wants 30 copies of the glazed armor piece. And he is freaking rich, man.

Waaaah, my purple queen! I've missed her so much. And she's kept the other girls around. And they're playing strip mahjong, apparently, lol. Yes, good for her! Also, Bechdel test passed! Nice.

Where are they anyway? Which town is this? Was this mentioned, did I miss it?

K, so Kissy Xing wants to pay the two girls out so they'll leave (very obviously), but they don't want to. Is he going to make my queen kill them after all? And she gives him nuts in return. Hmm. I mean, seriously. He MUST be nuts guy. There were SO MANY hints.

Oh, he lets them stay and become My queen's servants.

What? What is this secret plan? What are they gonna do with the fake pieces of glazed armor?

Noooooo, don't end here!!!!!

Wahhh

Okay, what have I learned: Baby Zi Shu's real name! And that Kissy Xing knows him from somewhere. Also learned what glazed armor pieces look like. My queen loves playing strip mahjong. And people are meeting up for some heroes conference.

Goals for future episodes: Find out how Kissy Xing and Baby Zi Shu know each other. Finally finish that name chart thing and add all the new people, omg.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

hiii 5 30 and 32 for harrison pls (my king <3)

5. Your oc has to make something for an art exhibition. What would they make? How terrible is it? Would they enjoy making it?

on one hand Harrison would do something like splat paint on a canvas OR have y’all seen the episode of suite life on deck when zack sneezes jelly on a canvas and all the rich white people are like yessss we love itttttt THAT would be the art he makes! (yes i’m watching shows from the 2000s ok it’s breakdown time) ON THE OTHER HAND harrison is actually a visual artist lol (I always forget this because it seems so out of character but it’s been canon since book 1!) SO! if anybody follows SLEW on YouTube, that’s totally how his art would look! Either way he’d love making it! he would draw Lonan yes I said it (I have a few scenes I cut out from Feeding Habits where he actually does this which I’ll put under the cut)!

30. What topics does your oc know the most about? Are these obvious or would these be surprising to others?

Harrison knows a lot about building things and taking them apart etc though I can never do that justice for him because I am incompetent at both :) that is definitely expected he just has that vibe (is it because he wears flannel?? maybe??) like I said he is also a visual artist so I would assume??? knows a lot about art history?? I don’t enjoy art history because I have no attention span but I think he would love that and know tons of little facts and that would totally be surprising to others! again I probably don’t do him justice in that field because I was the worst at art history!

32. What five ingredients would you throw into a cauldron to make a potion based on your oc? How would you cook/mix them? What would the potion do?

The 5 ingredients would be 1) WAFFLES (loves them, would die for them), 2) pasteis de nata (LOVES these I cannot blame him) 3) coffee (he has no blood it’s just coffee) 4) cinnamon (i just re-read book 6 of fostered and the amount of times reeve compares harrison to cinnamon?? yall i’m no longer calling it cinnamon i’ll be calling it harrison) and 5) hot sauce (because he’s SPICY). Because Harrison is chaotic I would put it all in a blender and make a smoothie :) The potion would make you ~happy and ~relaxed and just generally chill and in love even if that’s with yourself (the only vibes harrison wants)!

This is the first Harrison Drawing Lonan moment which is from a subplot that no longer exists!

In his room, he scales his bed and tacks sketches to the ceiling with dashes of masking tape. He is so fast, if anyone sees him do this, they will question their sanity, and by the time he’s done and all the pieces are up, he’s in the centre of a black hole, and the black hole is a single face of charcoal, and the face has got hair that carves his forehead like raven wings, his eyes swathes of cyan pastel, his body staining Harrison’s hands irreparably and hours later, Harrison lies on his sheetless bed like the next star waiting to be vacuumed into the mouth of his muse.

(why am i fangirling over my own writing it’s so CUTE i cannot harrison loves lonan so much oh my he really does!!)

This is a random flashback that never really went anywhere?? but apparently it’s an entire scene oops! maybe I’ll put it somewhere if it fits!

Lonan’s eyes in monochrome still look like the ocean. He’s vivid in charcoal, a good model, slushing the rind off a mandarin.

They sit knee-to-knee on the jute mat by the hearth. Fire icebergs Lonan’s retinas and embers pinch his hair.

Harrison scrawls onto a scrap advertisement for a washing machine set, Lonan’s jaw melding with its Best Offer: $599 Two Piece. He is firelit and juddering with heat. He is peeling the mandarin like its his own work of art, each removal tear of skin nearly a fresco, ready for auction. He is the only thing Harrison is interested in studying.

Harrison finishes a flare of Lonan’s hair. From above the notebook he watches, aware he is noticed, so unashamed in his staring. Tonight, Lonan is his raven with the ocean in his eyes, his muscle memory, his magnum opus. At one point, Harrison no longer looks up to check his reference; he remembers exactly where every slot of him goes.

On Harrison’s last lick of hair, Lonan has finished peeling the mandarin. The segments sit, unpaired like jewels. A line of juice dribbles off his palm. It is only inevitable that they lean toward each other, charcoal and citrus, and Lonan looks at the portrait and Harrison feeds off that fruit with fervor.

“It’s missing something,” Lonan says, their bodies criss-crossed as Lonan examines the portrait and Harrison eats the mandarin. When Lonan gestures for the pencil, Harrison nudges it to him.

Lonan retrieves it and leans over Harrison so their hands morph. The pencil makes contact once more with the paper, and together they pull lines against the paper, curve up, hook down, hatch. They move in singularity, their fingerprints one fingerprint, their palms one palm. Harrison tastes mandarin, so Lonan does too. Lonan stamps charcoal onto his ring finger, so Harrison does too.

By the time they’re finished, the portrait has become two. Lonan’s right charcoal eye becomes the left charcoal eye of another face, Harrison’s, their faces combined into monochrome together.

It is inevitable, not choice, when their single hand tears the portrait from the book and reels it into the wall of flame. It is inevitable, not choice, to simultaneously feel a jilt of joy for at last burning together.

did harrison just call lonan his magnum opus oh my GOD so cute okay i’m going to go bye!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

[godzillasrighttoe]

Anguirus's surprise birthday party

Damn that title is kinda bland ngl

(Since Anguirus's birthday is today, I decided that I would make this without planning how I'm gonna write it just before it's irrelevant. Also, all the kaiju in here are supposed to be the kaiju from Final Wars, not their other appearances in the Showa era. Also, since I ship Orga and Megaguirus I decided that this year they're gonna be having a baby lol. And this also takes place in the gijinka universe)

Final Wars Goji:Ok guys, so here's the plan. I will pick up Anguirus from his home so that we can hang out for the day and while we're doing so and so you guys break into my house and start decorating. I'll leave the key under the door for you guys to unlock it.

Orga:bruh we don't even got decorations yet

Final Wars Goji:𝙩 𝙝 𝙚 𝙣 𝙗 𝙪 𝙮 𝙩 𝙝 𝙚 𝙢 𝙨 𝙝 𝙞 𝙩 𝙨

Orga:Are we even gonna have time to buy them?

Final Wars Goji:

Final Wars Goji:𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱

Millennium Goji:I feel like we shouldn't be insulting each other and we should actually be planning this out. How about we assign who's gonna do what for the party?Such as decorating, baking the cake, shit like that.

Kumonga:Ooh!I can shoot webs as decoration!

Final Wars Goji:𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗻 𝗼 𝗯 𝗼 𝗱 𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲

Millennium Goji:Yeah, this isn't a Halloween party, dude.

Gigan:Ay, Final Wars, how would you feel if I shot lasers into your walls and wrote "Happy Birthday" out of it as decoration?

Final Wars Goji:

Monster X:Oh!And then I can add "Anguirus" to it!

Final Wars Goji:𝙒𝙃𝙔 𝘿𝙊 𝙔'𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙒𝘼𝙉𝙉𝘼 𝘿𝙊 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙏𝙊 𝙈𝙔 𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙎𝙀-

Monster X:𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘂𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆

Kiryu:How about when Anguirus walks in we say happy birthday and then start playing a bass boosted version of The Anguirus Song?

Orga:That's a good idea, but how about not bass boosted?Matter of fact, why did you even say that?

Kiryu:I don't know, I thought it would be funny. In my head.

Orga:𝗱𝗮𝘄𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻

King Caesar:𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙎𝙀𝙉𝙎𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙃𝙐𝙈𝙊𝙍 𝙄𝙎 𝙊𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙉 𝙐 𝙏 𝙎 𝙃 𝙄 𝙏

Kiryu:𝗕𝗜-

Millennium Goji:Alright, that's ENOUGH!How about we just buy stuff we need and come back in the morning?

Mothra Imago:I'll get cake ingredients!

Orga:𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗮𝘀𝘀

Mothra Imago:

Kiryu:Tbh, you shouldn't be talking because first off, Mothra isn't even fat and second, 𝗻𝗴𝗹 𝗠𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗿𝘂𝘀 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗮 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁😳

Orga:

Kiryu:

Everyone else in the room:

Orga:𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱

Kiryu:I mean, not gonna cap, she's been eating just a bit too much for a pregnant woman. Fuck cravings and shit, that's not normal. Sometimes I think that she's trying to kill the baby.

Orga:𝗯𝗿𝗼-

Millennium Goji:ANYWAY, all of you can now LEAVE now and go get stuff for the party tomorrow. Especially you, Kiryu. You're a dumbass. I hate to defend Orga in this situation, but it's true.

Kiryu:

Kiryu:Ok...

(Next day lol)

Millennium Goji:Ok guys, what do you all have to offer so that we can start decorating-

Orga:You always talkin' bout we. 🄸 🄰🄸🄽'🅃 🄽🄴🅅🄴🅁 🄵🅄🄲🄺 🅆🄸🅃 🄽🄸🄽🅃🄴🄽🄳🄾.

Millennium Goji:

Millennium Goji:And when did I ask?𝗠 𝗮 𝗻 𝗹 𝗮 𝗶 𝗱 𝗼 𝘂 𝘁 𝗮 𝘄 𝗵 𝗼 𝗹 𝗲 𝗽 𝗮 𝗿 𝗮 𝗴 𝗿 𝗮 𝗽 𝗵

Orga:that was like 2 sentences tf-

Rodan:Ay, you wanted me to show what I bought, right?

Millennium Goji:

Millennium Goji:Yeah?

Rodan:I bought wrapping paper so that we can wrap the presents we all bought Anguirus!

Millennium Goji:That's all?

Gigan:Bold of you to assume we bought him anything.

Orga:Why is everybody talking about we?!?Once again, 🄸 🄰🄸🄽'🅃 🄽🄴🅅🄴🅁 🄵🅄🄲🄺 🅆🄸🅃-

Gigan:𝗡𝗼𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀, 𝗢𝗿𝗴𝗮. 𝗦𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗺𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗕 𝗨 𝗟 𝗟 𝗦 𝗛 𝗜 𝗧 𝘂𝗽, 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝗳.

Orga:

Orga:ok

Millennium Goji:Gigan, did you buy anything?

Gigan:no I'm broke

Gigan:jk I didn't wanna buy anything lol

Millennium Goji:𝗕 𝗶 𝘁 𝗰 𝗵 .

Kiryu:I bought the happy birthday decoration.

Millennium:Oh, ok. So did I though...

Kiryu:

Millennium Goji:

Kiryu:So what we bout to do?

Orga:STOP TALKING ABOUT WE!!!🇮  🇦  🇮  🇳  ' 🇹 🇳  🇪  🇻  🇪  🇷  🇫  🇺  🇨  🇰  🇼  🇮  🇹  🇳  🇮  🇳  🇹  🇪  🇳  🇩  🇴 

Everyone else in the room:SHUT UP!!!

(Meanwhile with Final Wars Goji)

*Final Wars Goji knocks on Anguirus's door*

*No answer*

Final Wars Goji:Anwser that door, man!Come on!

*Anguirus opens the door*

Anguirus:Godzilla!

Final Wars Goji:Anguirus!

*They hug*

Final Wars Goji:Happy Birthday, man!

Anguirus:Awww, thanks!I actually can't believe that I'm 25 now!

Final Wars Goji:I know, right?You're so old now!

Anguirus:Not really though. Because aren't you like 30?

Final Wars Goji:27.

Anguirus:Old enough. Hahaha!

Final Wars Goji:hahaha 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 hahaha

Anguirus:Huh?

Anguirus:

Final Wars Goji:

Anguirus:Dude, you LITERALLY old shamed me so when I do it back you say it's not funny.

Final Wars Goji:Anguirus, this is weird. Here's your birthday card.

Anguirus:Oh, thanks!Wanna hang out now?

Final Wars Goji:Sure!Heh...

(Back to the party setup)

Millennium Goji:Ok guys!What all have you gotten set up?

Rodan:I've hung up some decorations!

Baragon:I've wrapped some of his presents!

Kamacuras:I'm making beans!

Millennium Goji:The fuck?Why?

Kamacuras:Anguirus likes them.

Ebirah:𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗘𝗘𝗘𝗘𝗔𝗡𝗦 𝘄𝘁𝗳

Millennium Goji:Has anybody else done anything?

Mothra Imago:Me and the boys are about to bake the cake!

Gigan:Don't ever sat that shit again.

Mothra Imago:I- I'm not even trying to be funny.... it's literally me and the boys...

Gigan:I don't care, shut up.

Mothra Imago:Rude!

Gigan:How?𝗴𝗼𝗱𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗻 𝘀𝗡𝗼𝗪𝗳𝗟𝗮𝗞𝗲

Kiryu:imagine if we sliced up gigan's dick and put it on the cake as a decoration for being volatile

Gigan:

Mothra Imago:

Orga:

Millennium Goji:

Kiryu:What?

Millennium Goji:*sighs* Ghost Goji is taking over again, huh?

Kiryu:*sighs*Yeah... when I said that it felt like 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗫𝗧𝗛 𝗗𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡~

Kiryu and Gigan:𝙇𝙀𝙁𝙏 𝙈𝙔 𝙎𝙊𝙐𝙇 𝙄𝙉 𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙑𝙄𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙇𝙀𝙏'𝙎 𝙂𝙊 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝙄𝙏 𝘼𝙃 𝘼𝙃 𝙇𝙀𝙏'𝙎 𝙂𝙊 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝙄𝙏 𝘼𝙃 𝘼𝙃

Orga:𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗻𝗻𝗻𝗻𝗻 𝘆'𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝘆𝘆𝘆𝘆𝘆

Mothra Imago:And is there anything wrong with that?!?Like-

Orga:𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹

Mothra Imago:HEY!!!Why is everyone so mean to me today?!?

Kiryu:I'm not!I'd never be mean to you!

Orga:simp

Gigan:Who the fuck still says "simp" anymore?The word is kinda dead...

Kiryu:Hey, I have a joke relating to the word "simp".

Gigan:Hm?

Kiryu:Take the "s" and "m" out of it and add it to Orga's name.

Gigan:Huh?O-

Orga:I don't understand- bruh.

*Millennium Goji laughs*

Mothra Imago:What's the joke?

Kiryu:Orgasm.

Mothra Imago:Inappropiate!

Millennium Goji:Then don't listen. It's that easy. Plus we're all adults.

Kiryu:Well, I'm 17. I'll be 18 next month.

Mothra Imago:Then why are you making these jokes?!?

Kiryu:Because I'm almost an adult?

Gigan:bruh are we gonna start baking orrr

Orga:Yep!

*Orga dumps all of the ingredients onto the baking table*

Gigan:ORGA!!!WHAT THE HELL!!!

Orga:?

Kiryu:𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆, 𝙍𝙄𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘿?

Orga:Why is are you two against me all of a sudden?

Gigan:THE EGGS WERE IN THERE!!!YOU DUMBASS!!!

Orga:ohhhhh

Orga:𝗜 𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻 𝘃𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻.

Millennium Goji:No!!!We can't make it VEGAN!!!Anguirus HATES vegans and their food!!!

Orga:The fuck?Why?

Millennium Goji:It has something to do with his mother who isn't approving of his sexuality, apparently.

Orga:bruh we got like 2 hours left before Final Wars comes back the cake is gonna be vegan

Millennium Goji:2 HOURS?!?HOW?!?

Gigan:And you're acting like it's the end of the world.

Kiryu:bruh we don't even know if the eggs are broken or not

Gigan:They are!All of them!Don't you see it dripping out of the bag?

*Kiryu looks at the bag*

Kiryu:oh shit lol

Gigan:Now what?!?

Orga:WE MAKE THE VEGAN CAKE!!!

Gigan:NO!!!

(Meanwhile with Final Wars Goji and Anguirus)

Anguirus:I can't believe you would spend your whole day with me on my birthday!

Final Wars Goji:Yeah... mainly because I wanna spend more time with you anyway.

Anguirus:Oh, really?

Final Wars Goji:Yeah... for the rest of my life.

Anguirus:Oh, I'd be looking forward to doing that also... heh...

*Silence*

Final Wars Goji in his mind:𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆...

Final Wars Goji:Is this coming off in a cheesy way?

Anguirus:

Anguirus:I love everything you do. When you call me fuckin' dumb for the stupid shit I do. Wanna ride my bike with you. Fully undressed, no trainin' wheels left for youuuuuuuu!~ I'll pull them off for youuuuuuuu!Hey, I love that song!

Final Wars Goji:Oh, you do?

Anguirus:Yeah!

Final Wars Goji:Oh, so do I. Imagine if that was our theme song if we were in love.

Anguirus:I mean... it could be...

*More silence*

Anguirus:What, are you trying to say something?

Final Wars Goji:Uh-*blushes*

*Final Wars Goji remembers about the party*

Final Wars Goji:Hey, there's something I wanna show you. At my house. It's another gift.

Anguirus:Ooh!I can't wait!Take me to your house!

Final Wars Goji:Ok, by the way you get distracted SOOOOO easily.

Anguirus:Oh, so there's no gift?

Final Wars Goji:There is, I wouldn't just give you a birthday card. I was just pointing that out. We can go to my house now.

Anguirus:Ok!

(Back at Final Wars Goji's house)

*Mothra Imago, Gigan, Kiryu, and Orga are playing Uno while everyone else is making sure everything looks right*

*Orga puts down his second to last card*

Orga:Hah!Uno!

Kiryu:DAMNIT!

*Kiryu bangs the table*

Orga:Hoes mad.

Kiryu:I'M NOT A HOE!Does anybody have a card to make him draw???

Gigan, who's before Orga, and has a +4 in his deck:*laughs to himself*HAHAHAHAHAHA 𝗻𝗼.

Mothra Imago:*sighs*Oh well... I guess you win Orga.

Orga:Hahaha!

*Mothra puts down a card*

*Kiryu puts down a card in disappointment*

Orga:Gigan, are you gonna put a card down?

*Gigan laughs*

Orga:Why are you laughing?Wait...

Gigan:HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Orga:GIGAN PLEASE!!!HAVE MERCY!!!

Gigan:𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝙄𝙎 𝙉𝙊 𝙈𝙀𝙍𝘾𝙔

*Gigan puts down his +4*

Orga:*high pitch screaming*

*Millennium Goji comes rushing over*

Millennium Goji:GUYS!!!Final Wars is on his way back!!!He's almost here!!!

Gigan:But our Uno game!-

Millennium Goji:𝙄 𝘿𝙊𝙉'𝙏 𝙂𝙄𝙑𝙀 𝘼 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆. Start tidying up before it's lights out!!!Is the cake ready?

Mothra Imago:Yep!Already decorated, too.

Orga:𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘃 𝗲 𝗴 𝗮 𝗻 𝘀 𝗵 𝗶 𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆

Kiryu:Well, it's not vegan. Remember how we still used the crushed up eggs and took out all of the egg shells but when we did Gigan picked some of it up and dumped it all on my head for no reason so I said "More daddy!~" so that he would stop?

Orga:oh yeah lol

Millennium Goji:𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗢 𝗨 𝗧

*Millennium Goji turns off the lights*

*Kiryu screams*

*Millennium Goji turns the lights back on*

Millennium Goji:Kiryu, are you ok?

Kiryu:What are you talking about?That was Gigan.

Gigan:𝗕𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁?

Kiryu:Don't even play, Gigan.

Gigan:Ok...

Millennium Goji:Um...anyway.

*Millennium Goji turns the lights off again*

*Gigan moans*

*Millennium Goji turns the lights back on*

Millennium Goji:DUDE-

Gigan:THAT WAS KIRYU!!!

Millennium Goji:NO IT WASN'T!!!If another one of you makes another sound when I turn the lights 𝗜'𝗺 𝗴𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗪𝗪𝗜𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁.

*Millennium Goji turns off the lights again*

Gigan:*impersonates Doja Cat*ᗪᗩᗰᑎ ᑭᗩᑭᗩ YOᑌ ᗩ ᖇᗩᖇᗴ ᗷᖇᗴᗴᗪ-

*Millennium Goji turns the lights on again*

Millennium Goji:THAT'S IT-

*Millennium Goji kicks Gigan

Gigan:OW!!!

Kiryu:ᵈᴀᵐɴ ᵖᴀᵖᴀ ʸᴏᵘ ᴀ ˢᴄᵃʀʸ-

(Meanwhile outside)

*Final Wars Goji is covering Anguirus's eyes with his hands*

Anguirus:Lmao why do my eyes have to be covered if we're going in your house?Is it something that I can see through the window?

Final Wars Goji:It's special.

Anguirus:Ok, whatever you say...

*They reach his house and Final Wars Goji unlocks the door*

Final Wars Goji:Open your eyes!

*Anguirus opens them*

*Millennium Goji turns on the lights*

Everyone except for Gigan:SURPRISE!!!

Gigan:*blows a party horn*

Anguirus:WOW!I was not expecting this!!!Thank you so much guys!

Final Wars Goji:And it was all planned by me!

Anguirus:Awww, thanks Final!Can I get to my cake now?

Millennium Goji:Sure!Do you wanna cut it first-

Anguirus:There is no future. There is no past. Do you see?Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Everyone else in the room:

Millennium Goji:All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

[kinnoth]

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR MEGATHREAD

-really doubt i'm gonna be able to finish this movie so we'll just see where i get to

- we already know how i feel about loki and thor, we don't need to revisit this

- ok but if i were going to revisit this, i mean come on, who wants to talk about "hela draws her power from asgard, same as you" cos i wanna talk about that

like what if that's the reason thor, god of thunder, king to a civilisation of warriors, was unable to fend off like, 4 dudes and a big purple dinosaur? the royal family of asgard draws its power from asgard, and without it, they are weak, they are mortal. maybe that's why heimdall is unable to just, you know, bifrost everybody off the fucking ship the minute it comes under attack. maybe that's why loki can't fucking conjure up a swarm of fucking microscopic knives to fillet the invaders from the inside out. MAYBE THAT'S WHY LOKI TRIES TO KILL THANOS WITH A FUCKING DAGGER. BECAUSE TAKE AWAY HIS POWER, TAKE AWAY HIS GODHOOD, WHAT DOES HE HAVE LEFT OTHER THAN HIS WILE, HIS TRICKS AND HIS BROTHER

WHAT IF IN SAVING THE UNIVERSE AND DESTROYING ASGARD, THEY'VE LOST EVERYTHING INCLUDING WHAT MAKES THEM GODS

somebody talk about this

- etc etc what if the reason loki is unable to attack the purple dinosaur with magic is because when he tackled thor earlier, he used whatever magic he had left to spare in order to heal him

checks out cos thor goes from flat on his face to swinging his fists in the space of like 30 seconds and the only thing to happen to him in between is said bit about loki tackling him

- why does heimdall save hulk? i mean, i could understand it if he were trying to aim the bifrost at thor and somebody somehow knocked off his aim and he accidentally saves hulk, but like, we've established that heimdall's loyalty is to the royal seat of asgard upon whom sits thor's mighty ass. thor who, in this scene, has just been incapacitated by a metal eggshell(?) and is at the mercy of their assailants. given heimdall's priorities, it is baffling to the point of inconceivability that he would preferentially save fucking HULK over his own king.

- if this next scene isn't the guardians of the galaxy coming across thor clutching loki's dead fucking body floating through space then i don't know why any of us are even here

- "he sent loki! the attack on new york was thanos!" makes no sense? like, if loki's scepter had the mind stone in it, which we established it did in the last movie when we broke it open to retrieve vision, then.....why didn't thanos just....take the mind stone in the first place? cos rock collecting is and has always been his goal?

what, do you think that just because you assert a thing makes us forget all the shit that happened before?

- i.....am actually with tony stark. why don't they just destroy the stones they have so that thanos can't get to them? oh, you made a promise? well promises change and circumstances change! you tell him tony! you tell that stupid fucker --

oh my god i'm gonna be ill

- i think the only person whose ego can match tony stark's is probably a neurosurgeon so 👍 i guess

-i love how we immediately went back to the "so dark can't see shit" aesthetic after ragnorak because ensuring that one's audience can SEE what is HAPPENING IN YOUR MOVIE is apparently for radical directors like taika waititi

- cannot believe that tony stark staring at captain america's phone number is being played with the same emotional intensity as thor losing his soulmate entire people

- honestly how many times is the mcu gonna invoke 9/11 imagery til someone calls them out for being terrorists

- lmao i know i said this before but peter's spidey senses tingling AFTER the giant alien anus has already started sucking up new york and it is right outside his window is fucking hilarious. that's just called using your eyeballs peter

- "friday notify first responders about the giant alien anus sucking up new york" lol like the first thing somebody did when the alien anus showed up wasn't to fucking call 911 GREAT IDEA TONY

- still can't believe that they let failed neurosurgeon dr strange do more magic than god of tricks and sorcery loki lol

- i know i rag on dr strange a lot about the fact that he's a neurosurgeon it's just that he sucks.

as a neurosurgeon eyy.

- i hate that peter parker has to be here!!!!! leave him alone!!!!!

- tony stark should not be allowed within 100 feet of children or minorities

- it is very weird to me that steve "brooklyn" rogers has an area code from georgia

- since when was hela a half-sister? ODIN'S DAUGHTER AND THOR'S BLOODED SIBLINGS OR BUST YOU FUCKING COWARDS

- i am very disappointed that thor is going to go get another weapon after we spent the whole last movie talking about how he is not the god of hammers

- i just need thor to have much more PTSD than he has right now. fucking hulk has ptsd. maybe they're saving the ptsd for later. one can only hope.

- i am glad that they are letting him be cleverer though

- THEY ARE LETTING VISION DATE A TEENAGER WHY

GOD. FUCKING GROSS.

- wait when did vision turn into a white man again? did i miss that movie?

- i am disappointed that vision the computer techno robot apparently has a penis. like what a stupid limitation to give your computer techno robot, gender. 🙄

- i think that the mass destruction of infrastructure and architecture in the MCU is because of the pg13 no blood limitation that disney has set? like there's no way to show destruction to the body, so one may only show the exponential destruction to one's surroundings. like imagine how much more dramatic intensity you could wring out of a regular fight scene would be if people were allowed to bleed?

- cannot believe that a computer techno robot and a witch are having a punch up with the bad guys. of all people to fight with something not their fists, it's these two

- wanda has no enhanced strength or durability? she's a regular teenager who's a bit witchy. the first time she got thrown through a glass door should have shattered her vertebrae. again i don't understand why we insist that everybody must have the same powers and capabilities when it's clear they don't. think about how much more interesting it would be if some avengers were more fragile than others and had to be given accommodations as such

- IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME THAT FUCKING BLACK WIDOW (regular human), CAPTAIN AMERICA (enhanced human), AND FALCON (regular human with wings) CAN DEFEAT THE CHILDREN OF THANOS WHEN THOR COULDN'T UNLESS THOR (god of fucking thunder carved of steel and stone) WAS NERFED

- still don't understand how we'll lend aliens afro features but not afro hair, like, seriously? you're gonna dream up green aliens with gills who look like black people but imagining them with black hair is a step too far?

- the gap of commentary in this liveblog is simply because i do not care at all for the galaxy defenders

- "earth just lost her best defender" who? who does captain america consider earth's best defender? it's not thor; he doesn't know thor's presumed dead. it's not tony; he doesn't know tony's on an alien anus. who else has died so far?

- love how exhausted bucky looks. have always loved how exhausted bucky looks. love bucky.

- i forgot that tony was with peter parker. god i hate that.

- "i'm peter btw"

"dr strange"

"oh you're using the made up names then. i'm spider man"

ok that was cute, but peter's cute, we knew that already

- i want to fling both strange and stark into space and i'm having a hard time deciding which one to push first

- "you went to bed hungry, scraping for scraps" oohhhh thanos is just anti-poor people, he would literally rather poor people be dead than struggle, i get it nowww

this is on brand for mcu

- oh my god thanos gets 2/6 stones by torturing siblings in front of other siblings, seriously? you couldn't come up with 6 different ways to find his stupid rocks you had to reuse one twice?

- which one of thor's friends was stabbed through the heart....? fandral??

- "if i don't get my vengeance what more could i lose" more like what else is there eh? what else is there for a king of no people but their vengeance?

- CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GAVE HIM BACK AN EYEBALL JESUS CHRIST IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THOR RAGNORAK JUST SAY SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING

VEHICLE FOR AUTHORITARIANISM, NOTHING IS ALLOWED TO CHANGE, FUCK YOUR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I GOT MINE

FUCK

- i do enjoy that thor is now science fiction rather than fantasy, i don't think anybody knew what to do with fantasy cos fantasy is again, ultimately about conservatism and the status quo. so i do like that we're embracing the new and boundless for whatever that's worth.

- marvel is a cesspool of toxic masculinity. at no point are characters allowed to actually feel anything because weakness is uncool i guess and therefore unmanful. like thor lost ALL OF HIS PEOPLE. fucking ALL of them. he watched his brother die in order to save him. he is not allowed a single fucking response of mourning. i don't care if he's pushing it back because revenge or whatever, this is the sort of grief that rules you, which will bring all your load bearing structures down to heel, and they let him do nothing; he does not even rage. perfect control. smooth witticisms. why. why aren't we allowed to see his sadness?

- yo i can't believe red skull is a scifi villain now lol space nazis for real

- OH MY GOD THEY WASHED BUCKY'S WIG AND IT LOOKS SO BAD

- michael b jordan was right btw wakanda is complicit in africa's exploitation

- i do LIKE black panther i guess in the way you technically like that cousin you met once when you were like 9 and never saw again?

i like how we have here in wakanda the sears tower (chicago), the batman building (nashville), and the gherkin (london)

- ok but like, presumably not a death cult super technologically advanced wakandans who are deffo made of human flesh and human blood still arm their people with spears

i mean unless wakanda is also a death cult

why is this chicks entire fucking face cgi'd she looks like a fucking cut scene video game character

- oh ok they have LASER spears, ok

so then why did they give bucky a fucking gun

- what is bucky supposed to be able to contribute here exactly, like fucking, again, he's spycraft isn't he? he's a one man, dead of night, operation go loud and then immediately silent kinda operation. why do they have him on the front lines of a fucking lock-step formation battle??

- "it will be the noblest ending in history" WHAT, FIRST COUNTRY TO EVER BE OVERUN BY ALIEN JACKALS??

- stormbreaker is just leviathan axe, somebody's said this already right

- omfg i'm so glad they're finally acknowledging that thor is OP as fuck and does not belong amongst the fucking squabbles of earth

-"titan was like most planets, too many mouths to feed not enough to go around, so i proposed a plan, dispassionate to rich and poor alike" JUST SAY YOU HATE POOR PEOPLE MCU. YOU CANNOT HAVE RICH AND POOR, YOU CANNOT HAVE DISPARITY, YOU CANNOT HAVE SOME WITH TOO MUCH AND OTHERS WITH NOT ENOUGH AND CALL IT EXTINCTION. THAT IS NOT A QUESTION OF OVERTAXED RESOURCES THAT IS A QUESTION OF RESOURCE FUCKING MANAGEMENT. IT IS AN ARTIFICIAL CRISIS IF THERE EXISTS ENOUGH TO GO AROUND BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST HOARDING IT THAT'S WHEN YOU KILL THOSE PEOPLE AND TAKE THEIR SHARE. KILLING HALF THE PEOPLE IS THE KIND OF FUCKING SOLUTION TO INEQUALITY THAT RICH PEOPLE COME UP WITH

GOD. ITS LIKE NONE OF YOU EVER READ

-you've got the big fucking boss in an ambush AND YOU ATTACK HIM WITH A MAGIC SWORD STEVEN STRANGE?????

THIS FRANCHISE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO UTILISE MAGIC USERS FUCKING HELL

- when will somebody please utilise ironman like the one man artillery he fucking is WHY IS HE FIGHTING WITH HIS STUPID FISTS HE IS LITERALLY ONE CONTINUOUS CARPET BOMB JUST USE HIM THAT WAY

cut of his arm CUT OFF HIS ARM YOU BLOODLESS SPINELESS USELESS FUCKING CUNTS . this is a manufactured crisis, KIND OF LIKE THE ONES THANOS LIKES I GUESS LOL

- dr strange could have very easily prevented or stopped quill from punching thanos but he didn't cos i guess even the movie forgets steven strange exists sometimes

- i like that the shield around wakanda has the same weakness as a poorly constructed chicken coop -- you always build into the ground a couple feet to stop the diggers man, come on, what is this, your first energy shield?

- oh disgusting, a girl boss moment. whatever you're all fascists.

- nobody adores martial might like fascists do fucking change my mind

- " avengers: not one person in this fucking cast is able to stomach ANY AMOUNT of personal sacrifice" more like

- "why did you give away the time stone?" "we are in the endgame" THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER THAT'S A FUCKING MOVIE TEASER FUCK YOU

- why didn't strange just trap thanos in a timeloop again? we've already established that is a perfectly acceptable way to deal with planetary annihilation. IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE NOBODY ON THIS WRITING STAFF KNOWS HOW TO DEAL WITH MAGIC

- THOR OP BLIZZARD PLS NERF

-CAPTAIN MARVEL SERIOUSLY THAT'S WHO YOU'RE GONNA SEND YOUR LAST PAGE TO JESUS FUCKING DISGUSTING

[godidfk]

I Don’t Need A Hero (Part Two)

Summary: You don’t like heroes. They were a sham. But when your quirk disappears you are shocked to find you need them more than you thought. One in particular more than others. 

Pairing: Eijirou Kirishima x Reader

Warnings: Angst but like? Not really? 

Word Count: ~ 3.3K

A/N: okay listen im sorry this took seven years to come out lol. Life is life. I know there’s some confusion on what the readers quirk is but like I promise there will be a more in depth explanation soon. My asks are always open if you have questions!! I hope y’all like this. 

I’m gonna tag everyone who asked for part two on the last post! Just in case y’all forgot <3 (if that’s not okay lemme know I’ll untag you)

@lady-bakuhoe @shania-chua @raekah @onegaisobaniite @red-riot-girl642

Part One

“So what happened with Chargebolt?” Once you were both back to your car, you finally felt comfortable enough to ask Molly about what had happened at the meet and greet.

“Oh y/n! Oh, it was absolutely amazing! I kept peeking around the girl in front of me when I got up close, and he totally caught me looking. I was so embarrassed, he just kind of stared at me and I felt like I was on fire. He smiled at me and then he winked and I felt like I would pass out on the spot.” Glancing over, you saw Molly was absolutely glowing. Her hands were flying everywhere to emphasize how excited she was. You chuckled looking at her. “That’s not even the best part though y/n! When I finally got my turn to go up to him, he asked my name and told me I was really cute and asked if I’d stay after so I could talk to him more!” Your jaw dropped as Molly went on. You knew your best friend was drop-dead gorgeous, and the best person in the world. But who would’ve ever guessed her all-time favorite pro would be immediately taken with her? 

“Molly! That’s amazing! But... it didn’t take you long to come out and find me after..” realizing what your friend must’ve done you felt a wave of shame and guilt wash over you. “Molly please tell me you waited for him. Please don’t say you left to come find me instead.” The guilty look she threw you made your stomach sink. 

“It’s not like that y/n. I did wait. I figured since I sent Red Riot after you that you’d be alright waiting a little longer. I knew you’d kill me if I didn’t wait for him. So I did! But I definitely left quicker than he would’ve liked… BUT guess what!” Before you could get a word out she interrupted you. “Kaminari and I are getting together tomorrow after his patrol! As long as you’re alright that is.” She looked over at you and you could briefly see that worry back there. 

“Kaminari huh? Looks like you two got close real fast. I told you he’d love you! And Molly… I’ll be okay. It’s just going to take some time right?” That’s what you were hoping. That your quirk would be back in the morning. Or that you’d figure out what had happened. 

“Y/n, you never told me exactly what happened back there. Why can’t you hear anything anymore?” 

“It was weird Mol. You know how I hate being deep in the city like that. Around so many people. Their thoughts were so loud. It was starting to become too much. I pushed through though. For a bit. I was determined to be with you when you met him. Although it turns out you didn’t really need my help did you?” Throwing a quick glance over your shoulder you saw her blush. “Anyway, when we got into that line and Chargebolt came out it got so loud. I was about to excuse myself for a moment when… I don’t know. Everything was too much and then I saw him looking at me and all of a sudden… nothing. I totally freaked Mol. The silence was so loud. I felt like I was drowning in it. So I went outside. And then that stupid hero tried to come to my rescue. Who does he think he is anyway? He doesn’t know me. What could he possibly do to help?”

“Wait back up, are you telling me when you looked at Red Riot it all went silent?” Molly was staring at you with her eyebrow quirked. 

“Yes. That is exactly what I’m telling you. What’s your point?” 

“Well, that seems… sort of like something you would read in a romance novel doesn’t it? Young pretty girl looks at hot young man and all the voices in her head go silent? Sounds kind of dreamy to me.” Glancing over at her, you noticed she was wiggling her eyebrows at you. 

“Molly this is serious! My quirk is straight-up gone and all you can think about is some dumb fantasy? Even if it was some weird ‘hey this guy is your soulmate’ kind of thing you know me better than that. Never a hero. Never. But that’s beside the point! Molly, it’s gone and I can’t hear what anybody is thinking now. As nice as it is to get some peace for once in my life my spatial awareness is so fucked up. Normally I can tell when people are close to me without seeing them. Some asshole back there slammed into me and knocked me down and I didn’t even know he was there until I was on the ground. I have no idea what’s wrong with me and I’m scared, Molly.” She had gone silent beside you. The drive back to your house felt like it was taking years instead of an hour. 

“I’m sorry y/n. You’re right. I should be taking this seriously. We’ll figure this out. Do you want to go see a doctor? Maybe they’ll be able to find something wrong?” 

“Molly if I went to a doctor I’d be a guinea pig. Have you ever heard of someone’s quirk disappearing? Because I haven’t. I’ll figure this out. I’ll be okay. I couldn’t control my quirk very well anyway, right? Who needs it.” But the truth was you were terrified. You felt wrong. Empty. The quiet was so loud. 

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It had been a week since then. As much as you were hoping your quirk would be there when you woke up. It wasn’t. Everything was still quiet. If you were being honest though, after the first few days of being absolutely terrified and feeling helpless and empty, you were starting to enjoy the quiet. It was nice to hear the birds all of the time instead of only when you were 100% alone. Getting used to having to pay attention to your surroundings had been a challenge. And your job performance was taking a severe hit. Having to wait for people to actually tell you their order before you could start making it made things take a bit longer than you’d like. You were about to start getting ready for work when your phone rang. Walking over to pick it up from the counter you saw Molly’s contact picture and answered.

“Y/n! Are you busy right now?”

“Actually yeah. I was just about to get ready for my shift at the cafe, why?”

“Oh dangit. Kaminari is coming over today and I was hoping you would come meet him.” Molly had been talking to the pro hero every day since meeting him. She practically saw him every day too. You knew it was only a matter of time before she wanted to introduce you two. You were thankful to have work as an excuse to put it off. As much as you loved her, you weren’t ready to try and befriend a pro hero. 

“I’m sorry Mol. We’ll meet eventually I’m sure. I have to go get ready now but have fun! Don’t get zapped.” You heard her start laughing as you hung up. 

----------------------------------------------------

A few hours into your shift things started to slow down. You relished the time when the cafe was empty. It gave you a chance to catch up but also admire the view outside. The little cafe you worked at was on the outskirts of the city. Right across from a nature park that was empty more often than not. You loved to look out at the trees and flowers when you got the chance. It’s where you spent your lunch breaks too. Which you decided to do right now. Telling your coworker to man the front, you grabbed your lunch and crossed the street. Laying under your favorite tree you decided to try and figure out what had made your quirk disappear. This had become a daily thing. Taking about 30 minutes to try and piece it together and then pretending it didn’t exist the rest of the time. It had become the best way for you to manage it. Unfortunately, you weren’t any closer to an answer as you were when it happened. You were running out of theories. 

Thirty minutes passed by and you slammed shut your notebook and headed back to the cafe frustrated. You didn’t particularly notice the customers who were in the shop as you went into the back and put your things away. 

“Hey! I’m back from lunch if you want to go take your break!” Your coworker was smiling at you just a little too widely for your liking and you cursed your quirk for disappearing. “Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?” 

“No there’s nothing on your face. You didn’t tell me you knew Red Riot!” You felt heat rush to your cheeks. How did your coworker even know you had met Red Riot? 

“What are you even talking about? I met him last week and promptly told him to leave me alone. I don’t really consider that knowing someone. How did you even know about that?”

“Well if that’s the case, it looks like someone doesn’t know how to listen. I’m gonna go on my break but I expect all the details when I get back!” She wiggled her eyebrows at you as she pushed past you into the back room. Why did what she said make your stomach do a flip? Peeking around the corner into the shop you caught a glimpse of someone sitting right at the counter. He was drinking coffee and looking at his phone, occasionally looking around. His red hair was spiked up the same way it had been when you had met. But he wasn’t wearing his hero costume. Just a normal t-shirt. He looked surprisingly more human this way. Why the hell was her here though? No pros came to this shop. Favoring the fancier shops in the city. You weren’t complaining about that though. You preferred the quiet nature of this place. Taking a deep breath you walked out to the counter. He looked up as you walked out and his face lit up. His smile was bright. It reminded you of the sun. Shaking your head you tried to rid your mind of any thoughts about him other than what he was doing here. 

“So what, pro heroes are stalkers now?” You cringed internally at how rash that had sounded. He may be a hero but he didn’t deserve immediate cruelty. His smile dropped off his face for a moment before turning into a smaller smirk. 

“Denki told me the coffee here was really good, and that you made it the best. So here I am.” His smile grew a little wider as he spoke. You noticed his teeth were pointed and looked razor-sharp. Like a shark. 

“Well, that’s amusing considering I’ve never met him and he most certainly hasn’t been here while I was working.” He furrowed his eyebrows at that. Before he could think too much on it you had a realization and interrupted him.

“How did he tell you? Was it in person?” He looked up at you, clearly confused. 

“No, he texted me an hour ago, why?”

“Molly… that asshole. She’s been with him all day. I’d be willing to bet it was her not him. She isn’t particularly happy with me for the way I treated you last week.” You looked at him apologetically. 

“Well, that’s okay. You were obviously going through something. Even if it wasn’t Denki, the coffee here is definitely worth it. Why isn’t this place more popular?” You chuckled at that. 

“You think that coffee is good? Molly wasn’t lying. We do it pretty well here, but I make it best. What’s your order, I’ll make you another.” He smiled at you and told you his order. You quickly went about making it. Catching him smiling as he watched you from the other side of the counter. You were going to kill Molly later. But for the moment you completely forgot he was a hero. Just enjoying that bright smile. You placed his coffee in front of him and watched as he tipped it back. He closed his eyes for a moment before he spoke. 

“That is on a whole different level than the one the other girl gave me. How did you do that?” He was staring at you with wide eyes. You laughed at the face he was making. 

“I guess I’m just that good. I’ve been doing this for a while, you tend to pick up on little things after time.” You smiled as he took another, longer drink. He looked happy. He looked up at you and caught you smiling. 

“That looks good on you you know. You have a really nice smile. I’m glad I finally got to see it.” Heat rushed to your cheeks as he looked to you. Thankfully at that moment a customer came in and walked up to the counter. You cleared your throat and internally begged your face to cool down. 

“Hi! What can I get for you?” You recognized the customer, but you didn’t remember his name. 

“You have to ask? Thought you had everyone’s orders memorized by now. You usually start on it right as I walk in. Are you alright?” You felt guilty for having to lie to him. He wasn’t the first customer to ask though. So you automatically launched into the story you had made up to tell them all. 

“I’m sorry! I was in an accident last week and I’ve been having some memory issues ever since. I’m sure I’ll get back into it quickly! Just have to relearn everyone’s order.” You saw Red Riot look up at you and furrow his brow when you said that. You silently prayed he wouldn’t ask you about it. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sure you’ll get back into it in a jiffy. You’re everyone’s favorite barista for a reason!” Your heart warmed a little at the praise. You gave a small smile to the customer. 

“So what can I get for you? And this is super embarrassing after all of that praise, but I’m afraid the memory loss may have also caused me to forget your name.” The customer quirked an eyebrow at that. You had never really had to remember anything about your customers. Whenever they came in they were always thinking about their orders, so you heard them fresh every day. You had always heard their names before they said them too. Why would you take the time to remember it when the information was always immediately available to you? You missed this aspect of your quirk. Not being able to hear what everyone was thinking all of the time had its downfalls. 

“The name is Everett. I’ll have a double espresso please.” You immediately started making his drink as quickly as possible, hoping to make up for your lack of quirk. Behind you, you heard a very audible gasp. 

“Are you Red Riot? The pro hero?” Hearing the redhead chuckle you felt your heart drop. You had let yourself forget for a moment that he was a hero. All of the nice things he had said to you began to feel like a dagger in your chest. You would never allow yourself to befriend a hero. Finishing Everetts drink you turned and went to hand it to him and saw he was now deep in conversation with the pro. You weren’t listening to the conversation. You didn’t care to hear about the nonsense heroes and their fans talk about. 

“Here you go Everett. Hope it makes up for all of my issues.” You smiled at him and went to turn around to clean the counter when you heard him say your name. 

“Doesn’t y/n make the best coffee? I’m not surprised that a pro finally made their way to this place. It’s amazing it has stayed as quiet as it has this long.” Red Riot smiled and looked up at you. 

“The coffee is absolutely amazing. It’s like a dream. I have a feeling I’ll be here pretty often.” Your heart sank even further and you frowned. Turning to clean up your station, determined not to turn back around unless you absolutely had to. You heard the bell at the door and glanced over to see Everett leaving. 

“What happened to you last week?” You closed your eyes and sighed.

“That’s none of your business Red Riot.” You said it harshly. More harshly than you meant to. But you were hurt. Why would the world bless a hero with a smile as bright as that? 

“Please call me Kirishima. Everyone else calls me by my hero name. It’d be nice if you didn’t. And look I know last week is obviously a sensitive subject, but if it was bad enough that you’re having memory issues you should’ve let me help you. What if I could’ve prevented it?” Your entire body immediately felt like it had been lit on fire as the anger flooded your veins. You turned and gave him a look that could kill. A look filled with cold, seething rage. 

“I do not need some hero to help me. My life is none of your business. Leave.” He looked taken aback by your words. 

“Why do you say it like that? Like it’s a bad thing? It’s okay to need help y/n. Everyone does.” You hated the way that your heart melted when he said your name. But much bigger than that you hated that he was a hero. You hated every word he said. You felt your body getting hotter when you heard the bell ring and heard Molly’s laughter coming in. She looked at you and it immediately halted. She ran behind the counter and looked from you to Red Riot. She pushed her way in front of you and grabbed your face. 

“Y/n. Y/n go home. Now. I’ve got the counter. Go.” Looking at her, she seemed to be the only real thing for a moment. Her words sank into your mind and you turned and left the shop without a word. 

----------------------------------------

Molly sighed as she watched you walk out. Thanking God she had convinced Denki to come to the shop. He was standing by the door still looking incredibly confused. Kirishima was staring out the door too. 

“I should have known better than to tell you to come here Kirishima. I’m sorry.” Molly put her head in her hands. Denki walked up to the counter quickly.

“You alright babe? What the hell just happened? She looked ready to kill someone. What did you say to piss her off Kiri?” Denki was looking from Molly to Kirishima. 

“I didn’t really say anything. She told a customer she was in an accident last week and that she was having memory problems. When he left I asked why she wouldn’t let me help her last week. And she just. She got so mad.” Kirishima looked back at the door. Molly sighed again. 

“Listen. It’s not my story to tell. Short and simple of it, y/n doesn’t like heroes. She hates the whole premise of you guys. Something major happened at the event. Don’t ask me about it. It’s really not up to me to tell you. I’ve only seen her with that look one time before though… I’m just glad I got here when I did.” Molly had flashbacks to that night. Seeing your face then, seeing it now. It was too close. Way too close. Denki cleared his throat. 

“Do you even know how to make coffee?” Molly looked up at him confused. Realization set in and she laughed. 

“Denki I started here at the same time y/n did. We bought this place together. Even if it is just hers now. I’ve got the counter handled.” Both men looked up at you. 

“Wait you guys own this shop?” Kirishima looked around the place again as she continued to laugh. 

“It was always y/n’s dream to own her own cafe. Let’s just say dear old dad would do anything to keep me quiet about certain things. So I got her this place! It’s a long story. But when your dad’s a rich asshole there’s really only one benefit.” Denki raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Babe you’re so hot.”

“Oh my god, Denki. Not here.” Molly was laughing again. But she saw the way Kirishima was looking down at his cup. She pitied him. If only he hadn’t been a hero.

[gvnchvcks]

A few days or maybe a week into being hired is when Fiona finds out most of the crew live in the penthouse with Geoff, at which point she immediately demands a sleepover. Nails will be painted, hair will be braided, boys will be talked about, nobody is safe

YES, SO MUCH YES, I LOVE THIS OKAY SO-

Fiona gets this idea because she wants to know more about the crew as a whole and she wants to hang with her newfound family, and what better way to get to know someone than when it's 4 am and you're all tired as hell telling secrets or something?? So she calls Geoff up and is like, "Hey dad can I have a sleepover?" (Yes she actually says that, you cant convince me otherwise) and Geoff is like ?? What? And so she explains her plan to him and he's automatically on board. They have no jobs coming up for at least a month, why not let loose? So she makes a huge group chat for the entire crew to let them know, and also she's like, wait why dont you guys have a group chat already wth

So now everyone is ready and hyped!! She shows up at the penthouse super early that morning to help Jack and Ryan prepare for having 11 people in it for one whole night. (We all know Gav isn't finna help, Geoff is asleep, and Michael and Jeremy are helping as well, but mostly with cleaning up a bit and finding entertainment) By 2 in the afternoon, things look great!! The furniture in the living room has been moved around a bit so there's enough room in the middle, where a bunch of pillows and blankets are likely gonna be placed. There's a Switch and an X-Box by the tv, ready to be played. Board and card games like Twister, Uno, and Monopoly are set to the side, ready to cause trouble. Snacks are spread throughout the room, unopened sodas, beer, candy, and chip bags. It all looks great, and Fiona is so excited!! The first one to arrive is Matt, Switch and two boxes of donuts in hand. Then, the Twins, Trevor and Alfredo. Wearing matching adult sized onesies they picked up along the way! And finally, Lindsay. She's a bit latez but nobody questions it because it's well. It's Lindsay.

Everyone is finally here!! The livingroom and kitchen are full of people chatting and playing games. (Lets say they're playing Animal Crossing bc I'm obsessed lol) and Geoff is even out of bed now too. Everyone went all out on this, and Fiona couldn't be happier. All wearing pajamas and sitting on the floor or laying on the couches and chairs, like the children they all are on the inside. Eating candy, even making a bit of a mess, but they'll just clean it up later. It's around 10 pm when Lindsay calls for everyone's attention from her spot on the floor.

"So, as you all know, I was a bit late today. BUT do you know why that is?"

A few wrong answers later, she digs into a backpack she brought with her and out comes a slew of makeup, brand new, and a ton of face paint and nail polish. Fiona squeals and is like, "You actually brought it, yesss! Who's our first victim?"

Michael and Geoff immediately nope out of there and head to the kitchen, but everyone else seems game. Especially Gavin and Alfredo, who practically jump in front of the two girls, tripping over people along the way. Gavin occasionally wears a bit of makeup or nail polish here or there, so he wants his face painted! His mistake? Asking Lindsay to do it. 30 minutes later, she's done with her masterpiece. Gavin looks in the mirror, expecting to see a mess, but he actually doesn't hate it? A gold drips painted from his forehead that go over his left eye, and a small gold heart under his right eye. He actually looks really cool! Then, he turns around to show the others, and they laugh?? Why are they laughing? He looks pristine! He looks again. Oh. That's not a heart. It's a dick. He let's out one of his signature loud squawks of shock and disappointment, with a "Lindsayyy!!" Thrown in for good measure, and jumps over the others to run to the kitchen sink.

During all of this though, Fiona and Alfredo arent laughing. Fiona is laser focused on making Fredo the hottest person in the room. And she does. She stares at her work, nearly an hour after she started, and is proud. Alfredo is loving it too, making kissy faces at the other crew members, posing and showing off his red nails while Jack takes pictures of him using a Polaroid she bought just for this occasion.

Anyways, that's all done. Nobody else wants to get their faces done, in fear they'll end up like poor ol Gav, so they move on (tho Fredo and Gav do keep their looks, Gav is just missing the "heart") Things calm down again for a bit, and everyone is telling stories. Fiona is in the middle of talking about what her life in France was like before moving to Los Santos, when she realizes she's been subconsciously braiding Matt's hair while he sits in front of her on the floor. She stops and is joking like, "aw dude wtf I've been touching Matt's hair" and then Matt is like, "Yeah but this is actually not a bad look if I'm being honest" and the others agree with him! Michael says it makes him look a bit less like an animal (I swear I love Matt lmao but you know they'd bully him during this, nobody is safe) and then Trevor is like, "you should do Ryan's next!! He has long hair too!!"

Ryan is against it at first but eventually is forced to take Matt's spot on the floor, and by the time Fiona's story is done, so is Ryan's new look, and lemme tell ya. That boy can ROCK a braid. Everyone is like, "Daaaamn, Ry, look at you GO" and "Of course he looks better than Matt, the dude was a model" and this actually makes Ryan kinda happy!! He likes his friends giving him validation, sorry I don't make the rules.

The night continues as normal. More stories are told, and they slowly start to get deeper as it gets later. Stories of their past lives, their first kills and first crimes, and romance too. They talk about their worst and best past relationships, what they're looking for in a partner, things like that.

(This is about to get a bit shippy, so I'm sorry if you dislike any of these ships, they're just the ones I personally like and wanted to write about, with my own headcanons for each character and their sexualities. If anybody is interested in me talking about my personal HC's for that, send in an ask tho cause this is already kinda long lol)

At one point, Trevor actually draws attention to himself. Things are quiet and more chill now. Everyone is being supportive, so this is good as time as any-

"Uh, actually, I kinda wanna tell you guys something since we're on the topic. I'm..bisexual."

Everyone is silent for a second, and he actually starts to get nervous, then Lindsay pipes up with

"Dude, hell yeah, bi gang! Love wins, what's up!"

Everyone smiles and laughs, and Fiona highfives Lindsay. Geoff is the next to speak up, "That's great news, Trevor. When did this realization hit you, bud? I've known you for a while now, I had no idea."

"Oh, it was actually maybe..a few months ago? A year maybe? Yeah. About half a year ago I'd say."

Michael chimes in next,

"Wait, isn't that also when you found Fredo and introduced him to Geoff?"

A few oooooh's ring out and Trevor tries to hide his face by looking down and chuckling.

"Uh, yeah. It is.. Anyways! What about you guys? Jeremy, what's your type?" He looks to the shorter male who's lounging on a beanbag near the tv, trying to divert everyone's attention from himself. Jeremy thinks for a second and takes a sip of his beer.

"Hm. Not sure. I like tough people who have a soft side usually, just like me.."

As he names off a few other things he finds attractive, Jack shoots a knowing look over to Ryan. Ryan's had a thing for Jeremy for a while now, and only she knows about it. When you're the crew mom, your kids tell ya everything.

This continues for a while longer with more almost-confessions, before people eventually start slowly passing out. (After a few games of Uno of course. The Monopoly stayed untouched, and they started a game of Twister but were to drunk to stay still and kept toppling onto each other painfully.)

This is a bit longer than I intended and I left out a LOT I wanted to put in but I don't wanna make these too long aishsijsjs I'm not good at writing lol I'm sorry, but I hope you like this!! I could elaborate on other aspects of anyone is curious, I'll be accepting these asks all day so keep em coming 💚💚💚

[purplesurveys]

723

What do you do when you can't sleep? I pick something to watch. Usually the background noise works in making me feel sleepier. Have you ever been threatened before? Physically, verbally, emotionally... I’ve had the full package. Don't you hate being labeled? I hate if it’s done in a mocking way or to reinforce insulting stereotypes, like Catholic Filipino boomers saying all atheists are evil and in need of ‘saving.’ But there are some labels that can be a source of comfort and give me a sense of identity, like if my friends can correctly remember my sexual orientation. Are you one of those people who says sorry too much or doesn't say it often? I do say it a lot. I also get reprimanded for it a lot. Have you ever had a cute doctor/dentist/nurse? No, and I mostly don’t think of them in that way... if I’m at the doctor/dentist, that just means I want to be healed lol.

Do you swallow your gum even though it's bad for you? I’ve never done it on purpose. The few times I accidentally swallowed gum I was worried it’d fuck up my stomach, but nothing bad has ever happened. Don't you hate it when you go to the bathroom & there's no toilet paper? I mean my parents always buy tissues in bulk, so we’ve never run out of them. If I catch the roll being empty, it’s easy to replace. ^When that happens do you ever just sit there & read shampoo bottles? We have bidets in our bathrooms. For houses with no bidets, the pair of tabo/balde would do to wash ourselves, at least for Filipino culture. Going into TMI territory over here but the idea of some countries/people only using dry toilet paper to wipe their ass has always been so odd for Asians. Do you wear jelly bracelets? Do you believe in the sexual meanings of them? I wore them a few times during childhood but I wasn’t obsessed nor did I collect hundreds of them. I didn’t know they had sexual meanings – that would’ve been my last thought as a kid. Are you good at guessing things? Not guessing, but I’ve had a decent track record of picturing and predicting worst case scenarios that end up happening close to the way I imagine them. Have you ever gambled? I played Bingo when I was like 9. There was a period when my late grand-aunt’s friends would come over at her place (we lived in a duplex, so I knew whenever a game was starting and it was easy to walk over there) and play Bingo, and it lasted for a few months. When your stomach growls do you ignore it for awhile or immediately get food? I like waiting for a while before deciding I’m *really* hungry and looking for food. Have you ever thrown up on someone in front of you on a amusement park ride? OMG, never. Have you ever thought you were dreaming so you had someone actually pinch you? No. I only ever saw this in cartoons, too. When you get nervous, does your heart pound extra fast? Isn’t that kind of an important sign of being nervous though? If my heart wasn’t beating fast I’d think that everything was under control. Have you ever mowed your lawn? Do you find it fun or annoying? Our village has a staff member that’s in charge of mowing everyone’s front lawns, so we don’t really have to. Do you have a garden at your house? I wouldn’t call it a garden. We have a couple of tall trees but that’s it. Do you like making puppet figures with your shadow? I don’t hate it, but like I don’t actively seek this out. When you're on the internet does time go fast or slow? When I was 10 and the internet was still fairly new to me and there were still a billion sites to check out, time was definitely fast. I’d be on the laptop all day and suffice it to say I was addicted, which wasn’t the healthiest situation for a 10 year old. These days time just feels normally paced since we’ve grown used to the internet now... it’s literally a part of everyone’s lives and is everywhere from phones to TVs to fucking lightbulbs, so it’s all just part of everyday routine. When you're angry do you take it out on other people? I make it a point not to do this but sometimes I’ll crack under pressure and end up snapping at someone. What's the key to true happiness? Key’s different for everyone. Who do you look up to for your style? For the longest time it was Audrey Hepburn, which is why I have a ton of little black dresses piled up in my closet to this day. More recently though I’ve been wanting to dress up like Rachel Green from Friends. What was the longest phone conversation you've ever had? Ugh it’s so cringey now but when Gab and I were newly dating we once had an 8 hour Viber call. Never did it again.

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two big ones. What's your life philosophy? “You don’t have to be blood to be family” ngh I say this on surveys a lot. Soz, questions like this make me repeat it. Have you ever played strip poker or would you ever? I’ve never played it. I don’t even know how poker works and it’s so annoying cause my favorite shows tend to make at least one episode focused on a poker game, and I’m left not understanding any of the dialogue. Would you still go out with someone even if you thought they would cheat on you? These cheating questions can be so tricky but generally I wouldn’t consider dating someone who I know to be a past cheater. Would you date someone who didn't want to have sex until they were married? Yes. I mean I was already this kind of person with Gabie anyway when we started dating; she was just able to change my mind which I’m super ok with because I’ve never regretted it. How much cash do you have on you right now? I have a little over P2000 in my wallet. My school has since ordered to end the semester by April 30 so I had no idea that the P2000 my parents gave me last March was gonna be my last allowance from them ever :’( What's your favorite thing to order at a Mexican food restaurant? I haven’t really had Mexican food that’s purely Mexican, i.e. not Tex-Mex. Idk if it’s right to say fajitas and chimichangas since Google says they’re Tex-Mex, but they’re my usuals. If you got to magically make somebody disappear, who would it be and why? Can I make a virus disappear instead? Do you prefer to cook or eat out? Eat out. Because I can’t cook. Have you ever peed yourself while laughing? Never. When you don't like someone, do you let them know? I mean obviously I don’t confront them directly just to say I don’t like them, but I’ll make extra effort to avoid them and I just wouldn’t interact if we happen to be in the same room. How would you build your ultimate sundae? Not really a sundae girl so I wouldn’t know what combination works. McDo’s hot fudge sundae is satisfying enough for me. Would you date someone who went to church on a regular basis? If it came to that, and especially if I really like the person, I might give them a chance (that’s a billion plus points for my mom, anyway) on the condition that they don’t force me to attend with them, and they don’t try to convert me. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck. Would you rather see a movie at the theater or at home on DVD? Egh it depends. There are movies I can be excited enough about to wanna catch it in the cinema, and there are some that I’m not invested as much in and that I could wait for to show up at an illegal film website lol. If the police came to your door & said "you're under arrest!" what would it be for? The police in this country are the Devil and will arrest and kill anybody. That said, I can be attacked in my own home, arrested for absolutely nothing, and they will get away with it. Are you good at giving massages? Nope. What movie do you know just about every line from? Your basic white girl movies – Titanic, The Proposal, White Chicks. Oh and also my favorite Two for the Road, of course. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. If I absolutely have to eat a muffin it has to be chocolate, otherwise I’m not touching it. I’m all about the sweet. What are the three "nevers" of your life? Doing hard drugs, drunk driving, eating fruits. What lifts your spirits when life gets you down? Good food, good movies, good friends. My dog. Is sometimes being silent more effective than having to say things? Yes. Do you smile a lot or not enough? I think I do it enough.

[marshmallowgoop]

I write stuff, at times. I swear.

(Check it out! These are my research books and plot outline for this novel that I’ve been working on for nearly half a decade!)

So, it’s National Novel Writing Month, and I’ll probably be a little absent from this site for the rest of November ‘cause I’m trying to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days and am also the boss lady (ML) for the event in my area and have boss lady things that I should be doing.

Buuut since my novel is my Kill la Kill fairytale AU (which I even have a tag for!), posting about the project isn’t totally procrastinating, right? 

Anyway, I’ve written drafts of this story for two NaNos already (2016 and 2017), and the first draft is basically getting totally flushed down the toilet, but the second draft is closer to what I wanna go for, so I’ve been revisiting it to see what I wanna do with my NaNo 2019 attempt. 

And did you know? Maybe kinda relevant to all the anon hate lately, one OC I wrote for the story is a villain that exemplifies a lot of what I hate about myself. Her situation is of course different than mine—I ain’t beautiful, lol—but her jealousy, vindictiveness, egotism, etc. are all things that I despise about me.

Like, I guess maybe you could consider her my evil self-insert. Pfft.

I dunno how much of her backstory will really be in the final draft, and it’s definitely way, waaaaaaaaay too much right now ‘cause it was written for NaNo and all, lol, but tl;dr, tl;dr, I guess one big message of my entire story is that being bitter and envious isn’t fair to anyone, destroys others and yourself, and I gotta knock that crap off or be just as awful as this awful, awful woman (who arguably literally caused some of the biggest problems in the book).

If anyone’s interested in reading, I’ve included her segment under the cut! (As well as a little segment about Senketsu ‘cause that’s just where it was placed ‘cause this novel is a disaster in terms of organization, lol.) It’s super messy and unedited ‘cause it was written for NaNo, and I only lightly cleaned up some grammar and placeholder names for this upload, but eyyy, I swear I do write creatively, sometimes!!

And maybe me being so honest about the stuff I hate about myself will do something for others, I dunno. I can only hope ^^; 

From Chapter 5, “About King Prasenajit’s Daughter Ugly Adamantina”

As it would happen, the curse that befell the beautiful empress’s princess was quite the complicated affair. If the man in the cave could have been there and could have known, he might have begun the story by speaking in great length of a woman from a kingdom far beyond the Kingdom of the Reed Plains.

The woman, you see, was a magnificent, wondrous healer. She knew her medicines and herbs better than anyone had ever seen, and she knew how to combine them better than anyone had ever seen, too. And so it was said, as it may be imagined, that she was a prodigy of her craft, and she was a genius, and she could only be a miracle doctor sent from the gods.

But it was not purely the healer’s knowledge that made her well known throughout her kingdom and others. The healer, much as the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains, was also extraordinarily beautiful. People would come from far and wide to set their eyes upon her, just as people would the empress, and those who were lucky enough to be her patient would say, in great sincerity, that the healer’s beauty alone was enough to cure them of all sickness and pain.

So you must imagine that when the empress sent for all the best doctors and healers in her land and lands far beyond that this miracle doctor was called for. The healer received the invitation one quiet afternoon, and she tried her very hardest to hide her displeasure as she listened to the empress’s messenger speak.

All those with the healer were left open-mouthed by the messenger’s letter. They oohed and ahed, and then they very quickly turned their attention to the woman to whom the letter had been addressed to.

The woman smiled her politest smile, bowing before the messenger as though the messenger herself was the empress

“It is a great honor that you have come all this way,” the healer said, and she hoped very heartily that her irritation did not seem apparent in her voice. “I am much humbled to be called upon by the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains herself, and I pray for the empress’s health and happiness, and for the health and happiness of her child.”

The healer rose from her bow now. “However, I cannot leave my patients, and so I must decline.” She bowed again, her dark hair falling over her shoulders and concealing the cruel smile on her lips.

Silence fell over the room. To decline a royal order was unheard of, and the poor messenger seemed at a loss for what to say to the woman’s refusal.

Everyone’s eyes had fallen upon the woman. She was no longer smiling. There was a great sense of dread building inside her, as though she had swallowed an entire snake whole.

It was a royal order, the healer realized, even if it was not a royal order from her own country.

And so, with another great bow, and knowing that there was nothing she could do, the woman said, “Please forgive my manners. I will be on my way.”

The healer did indeed travel to the empress’s kingdom. It was a long journey, quite uncomfortable if the healer could say so herself, and all the while, her human heart grew colder and colder.

To help the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains! the healer thought to herself. It was the very last thing she could have ever wanted because, you see, she was quite worn of hearing of the empress’s beauty.

“They say, good healer,” she had been told, time and time again, “that she is even more beautiful than you yourself!”

The healer had to listen and listen to such sentiments and always smile so politely back at them, as though she truly liked to be compared in such a manner! It was a disgusting thing, the healer thought to herself all throughout her journey to the Kingdom of the Reed Plains. Not only did she have to go so many ri away from her homeland, but she had to use her skills to help this woman who could not possibly appreciate her own beauty!

How could she ever appreciate her beauty as I appreciate my beauty? the healer asked herself. Only small people came to tell the healer of her wondrous looks, you see, and the healer always adored every single one of her admirers, but the empress was adored by big people, and very big people came to even catch a glimpse of her, and she could not be like the healer herself, the healer knew, because she had to be very haughty and condescending and must surely not be thankful for the great gift of beauty she had received!

But I am thankful, the healer told herself, and she continued to tell herself this as she went on her way. She thought to herself that someone as high and mighty as the empress did not deserve her talents, and a woman like that also could not understand what it would be like to be born ugly, because a woman like that could never, ever appreciate what a great gift beauty truly is in the cruel, inhospitable world that they both lived in.

It is here, then, that the healer began to entertain a great, terrible idea.

She thought to herself, It would be most wonderful, if the empress’s child is born hideous!

And so the healer laughed to herself, and she thought herself quite amazing to consider such a thing, but she never did consider the thought anything more than a thought.

That is, you see, until the healer first arrived at the empress’s palace.

#

The story of the bitter-hearted healer is a story that the man in the cave could not tell you.

The man in the cave could also not tell you about love between humans and demons to Satsuki or anybody else. That is also a story the man does not know.

Perhaps, too, he does not want to know.

But the little red demon knows this story. It is the story that fills his blood and built his bones, and it is the story he will dedicate his life to believing.

Indeed, to the little red demon, the story that the man in the cave tells Satsuki one day—of demons and humans as mortal enemies where peace is impossible, and only one can be the victor—feels as wrong to the child as a waterfall that he has never seen flowing backwards, up a cliff.

But it is this story, you see, that the little demon heard time and time again from his mama’s setsuwa and stories.

“Why is it,” the red demon asked his mother one day, long before he catches his sister prepared to drink their mama’s blood and long before he comes across the young Ryuko collapsed in the snow, “that in all of Mama’s tales, the demons want to hurt the humans?”

He had thought at first that it was simply the case of a few villainous demons. There are surely many stories where humans play the role of the evil force that must be vanquished. But the demon soon saw that humans were allowed to be heroes and kind princesses and great shining beauties. All demons ever could be were empty-headed and ugly and horrible, ravenous beasts.

The demon saw, too, the way his mama’s face would turn red in the same manner in which his face would turn green as she told him, “Do not let these stories about the bad demons make you feel as though you are destined to be bad and nothing more. There are many good demons, too.”

But Mama could not seem to tell the little red demon a single story she had heard about a good demon.

Mother had been at the loom when the red demon asked why it is the demons must always be the villain. She was weaving, chan, chan, chan, karin, and this she continued to do as she answered the little demon’s question, her amber eyes fixed on her work.

“Those stories are very ordinary human stories, my love,” she said. “If I were to tell you demon stories—and I could not, I must say, because I am not very much good with words like your dear mama—then you would see that the demons see the humans as the humans see the demons.”

The red demon was left very confused indeed. “But why would the humans and the demons want to see each other as evil?” he asked. “Isn’t it ordinary for humans and demons to be together?”

Mother still did not look the little red demon’s way. She seemed distant, as though a thousand ri away. “No, my love,” she said. “Your Mama and I are... not very ordinary at all.” A smile was on her lips as she told him so, but she seemed almost sad at the statement, as though the admittance of being unordinary brought a sort of pain, the kind that the demon would come to feel when he looks upon the fallen girl in the snow.

“Demons and humans are not meant to mix,” Mother said. “That is what everyone will tell you, both humans and demons, and even the little birds that come to visit this home will tell you, too.”

The little red demon still did not understand. The situation became ever more puzzling to the child, as incomprehensible as the world saw the red demon’s very existence.

“But you are very happy together,” he said. He frowned, the usual chan, chan, chan, karin of his mother’s loom no longer the soothing sound of his childhood but an anxious rhythm that the demon could not free from his mind.

“No, we are very happy together,” he insisted.

Mother laughed. “Yes, my little smart one,” she said. She patted the demon’s head, careful to avoid the horns that were just growing from his scalp. “But most people, my love, human and demon alike, do not believe it is possible.” She smiled again, though it still looked strange and distant, and she took her hands from the loom where she had been weaving, finally turning her eyes upon her son.

The little demon saw that she had been crying.

“Most people,” she said, “believe it is a curse for a demon to let a human into their heart, and for a human to let a demon into theirs.”

Mother turned her wet eyes away from the little red demon. “But I would do it,” she told him, unwaveringly, as though speaking a grand declaration no matter the quiet whisper of her voice.

And the red demon felt it was more to herself than to him that his mother then said, “If she would let me, I would grant her every wish and keep a piece of her within me, always.”

#

A story the man in the cave does know, as it would happen, is the story of how demons hold within them the power to grant any human’s wish.

This, you see, is a story that more humans once understood, back when the Kingdom of the Reed Plains had not been cursed to be covered in an endless, inhospitable snow that would not disappear and could not disappear.

It was a story that the bitter-hearted healer who had gone to see the empress had known, and she considered this story her first evening she spent in the beautiful empress’s palace as she peered outside to the lands that were not her kingdom and not anything much like her home country.

If I would give my heart to demons to have a wish granted, she thought to herself, I would not have my wish be to make the empress’s child born hideous.

But it would be such a nice thing, she considered some more, if I could truly make such a reality with my own two hands.

Another healer interrupted her thoughts with a great curse of her own. This healer was unabashed in her complaints and did not keep them locked deeply away as the bitter-hearted healer did.

This healer said, “I am number 37, can you believe it?” She expressed a great many more curses, crossing her arms and pouting in a manner that the bitter-hearted healer could not help but find quite admirable.

“I am number 43, myself,” she said. She smiled politely, as she was so very used to doing in her practice. “I am sure I will not be able to return to my home kingdom for quite a long while yet.”

At this, the other healer offered a sympathetic look. “Oh,” she said, and she shook her head, as though ashamed of herself. “I live very near this palace, and here I have been cursing!”

“You have every right to be upset,” said the bitter-hearted healer. She tried very hard to restrain herself from clenching up her fists at the thought of the beautiful empress and how that woman had successfully called her to this wretched palace.

The other healer smiled at that. “I most certainly do have all the reason in the world to be upset!” she said. “Calling upon so many healers and doctors! You must forgive our empress.” She lowered her voice, until she was near whispering. “She is just very afraid of losing a fourth child, you see.”

This the bitter-hearted healer understood perfectly, and had the empress been another, uglier woman, perhaps the healer would have been meant it, when she said, “I wish the best for her and her child.”

“With all these healers and doctors, there won’t be any need for wishing,” answered the other healer, and then she was quite quiet for a moment before she added, “To tell the truth, I wasn’t happy with my number because I wished to return to my family as soon as possible, but also....” She paused, as though bashful. “It’s maybe a bit silly, but I’m afraid I won’t even be able to meet the beautiful empress with my late number! I was hoping to make my family very jealous for getting to be in the same room as her!”

The bitter-hearted healer’s smile slipped, just slightly. She then made her smile all the brighter as she answered, “I have heard that she is quite a sight.”

“So the talk of her beauty goes beyond even our little Kingdom of the Reed Plains!” cried the other healer. “I so wish to see for myself.”

The healer then looked very carefully at the bitter-hearted woman.

“I hope you don’t mind my saying, Miss, but I almost find it hard to imagine a woman prettier than you.”

The bitter-hearted healer’s smile became very wicked. “You flatter me!” she said. “I am sure I cannot hold even a candle to the empress’s beauty.”

“I suppose we will see about that,” said the other healer.

But the bitter-hearted healer very much did not want to see about it. She had only been in the empress’s palace a few mere hours, but already it seemed an eternity, and so there came the time when the bitter-hearted healer—surely not thinking clearly, mind you—left her room that night and walked very resolutely to the palace gates. The other doctors and healers looked at her quite oddly as she did this, and the guards of the palace questioned her quite thoroughly.

“It is unwise,” said one of the palace guards, “to walk the streets at night, when the demons are about.”

The healer considered it might almost be a blessing, if she could be eaten by demons and never have to come before the horrible empress she did not want to see!

But the healer smiled very politely, as she was so very used to doing from her practice. “My number is very far off, you see,” she said, and she showed the guard the parchment with 43 written cleanly upon it. “I have relatives not far from this palace, and I would very much like to spend the night with them, if you understand.”

The guard shifted uncomfortably. “I understand...” he said, “But you were to come here, on royal orders—“

“And I will return,” said the bitter-hearted healer. Though she had interrupted the man, the tone of her voice had become sweeter than sugared honey. Her impertinence almost seemed kind.

“Yes, I hear what you are saying,” said the guard, and once more he shifted uncomfortably, “but you must understand....”

He could not finish his words. The bitter-hearted healer ran fingers through her slick black hair. She batted her eyelashes, only a small amount. “I know it is dangerous,” she said, “but I am a healer, and I am very good at what I do—as I am sure you know because I am standing here before you right this moment!—and if any demon were to try to hurt me, I could heal myself in just an instant!”

The bitter-hearted healer bowed down very low before the guard. “Please, good man, I am begging you to let me go.”

It was with a great hesitance that the guard did exactly so.

But the truth is that the bitter-hearted healer had no family in that kingdom. She knew no one at all in the Kingdom of the Reed Plains, and she entertained the thought that she could run away to a new settlement somewhere, perhaps by the mountains, and then she could avoid ever seeing the empress and ever living with the shame from refusing a royal order from a kingdom allied with her own.

The person she was at that moment could be considered lost. She could start a new life, and she could become a healer even more renowned than she had been in her backwater hometown. The healer’s head buzzed with ideas, bun, bun. Of course she could start up a new business someplace far away! She was so beautiful that she would quickly become the talk of the town no matter where it is she went!

This thought brought the bitter-hearted healer to stop in her tracks. No, she thought, she could not become the talk of the town in a town where the only beauty anyone could speak of was an empress who did not appreciate her beauty nor deserve it!

The healer clutched the lantern she had taken with her on her journey away from the palace quite tightly. Why did all her thoughts keep returning to such a terrible woman? Even when she had been thinking of the new life she would build for herself, the healer could not help but think of the empress.

She frowned to herself, all by herself in a great kingdom with a wondrous empress, in the forest just beyond the palace, no less, and she thought to herself that she must be such a pitiful sight that even demons would take pity upon her and spare her life should they ever find her.

The bitter-hearted healer, however, did not realize that she was so stuffed full of bitterness and cold that she smelled quite terrible to the demons who were indeed wandering about the Kingdom of the Reed Plains that night.

“That atrocious stench is ruining all the wonderful ones,” the woman heard a demon complain (though she was not aware that it was a demon speaking because the healer did not truly expect to come across demons in her great escape from the palace).

Zushin, zushin, the healer heard, thud, thud, stomp, stomp.“It must be another cold heart,” said another demon (that the healer again was not aware was truly a demon at all).

But it is quite disconcerting to hear voices that you cannot see the source of in the midst of the night, and so it was then that the healer, whose heart was beating very quickly at that moment, raised her lantern and shone it all around her.

“Who is there?” she asked. The light danced all about the darkness, and when it settled upon a face, the bitter-hearted healer was rather surprised that this face was a considerably good-looking face.

She was even more surprised when she saw another face besides the first face that was equally attractive, and indeed perhaps even more so.

“Ah,” said the owner of the first face, who looked to the bitter-hearted healer to be a young woman with eyes that sparkled like bright red rubies.“So it is you who are making this horrible, ghastly stench all throughout these lands.”

Of course, it is even more disconcerting to hear a beautiful stranger in the woods describe you as smelling atrocious, and so perhaps it is not unusual that the bitter-hearted healer felt her bitterness grow and grow within her, puffing out and expanding much like her medicinal breads did in the ovens back in her home.

She said, “Well, now, how terribly rude! I will have you know that I have traveled quite a long way!Even the bath that I have been offered in this kingdom has not treated me well, it seems!”

The owner of the second beautiful face, who seemed to the bitter-hearted healer to be an older woman with great red lips that were a deeper color than even the setting sun, shook her head at the healer, her long, dark hair brushing against her shoulders and elaborate flowered kimono.

“You misunderstand, Miss,” said this second beauty.“No amount of sweet soaps or fragrances or wondrous baths could save you from this disgusting stench that falls off you much as snow falls from the sky.”

The second beauty lifted her chin up very high.“This reek feels even more endless than snow, too,” she said.

This, too, made the bitter-hearted healer even more bitter hearted than she had been before.

The two beauties coughed before the healer could even begin to speak.

“You are making it worse!” said the first woman. “It is no good to upset a human who already smells so terrible.”

These words were the first that the bitter-hearted woman could perhaps smile at. She said, “Come now, are you traveling storytellers looking for refuge by the palace? It is quite funny of you to try to include even your audience as part of your story, but I must confess that I do not have a single coin upon my person at this moment.”

The bitter-hearted healer laughed, and the sound was surely as horrible a sound as her heart was a horrible heart and her stench was a horrible stench. “I must say, though,” said the bitter-hearted healer, “that it is not quite an appealing act to begin by insulting your audience and then continue by calling them 'human' as though you are not humans yourselves!”

These words made the two demons laugh quite heartily indeed, gera, gera, ha, ha. They laughed much more heartily than the woman, and they laughed much more genuinely, and when they had finished this laughter and wiped the tears from their eyes, the younger beauty smiled in a way that the bitter-hearted healer did not find so attractive.

Indeed, she found the grin quite terrifying.

Because, you see, the bitter-hearted healer saw that this beauty had teeth that were perhaps not quite so beautiful. There were long fangs, sharp, and it seemed very much to the healer that she was looking straight at the smiling jaws of a great monster.

“As though we are not humans ourselves!” repeated the once-beauty. The strange creature laughed once more, looking less and less beautiful to the bitter-hearted healer with every second. Its form seemed to distort and mutate before the bitter-hearted healer, and the sight was to the woman very hideous and unsightly, but somehow, you see, she could not look away.

And so it was that the bitter-hearted healer watched with wide eyes as rosy skin changed to a slick blue, shiny, dark hair became as long and wild and white as snowflakes in a great storm, and the once-beauty seemed to grow several feet, towering over the bitter-hearted healer with eyes that the healer then realized to be the shining eyes of a demon.

She also realized that they were the shining eyes of a very hungry demon.

The bitter-hearted healer, in her immense fear, toppled to the ground with a great gasp, haa, haa, wheeze, pant. Her lantern shattered, and the flames jumped out, lighting the leaves scattered upon the forest floor on fire and threatening to burn the trees as well.

Here the demons’ laughter was quite diminished.

“Look what you have made the foolish human do with your silly sideshow display,” said the older beauty. She had shifted her form as well, now bearing the appearance of a massive, red-haired blue demon clad in tiger skins, with three great horns upon her head.

She stomped out the fires with her feet, zushin, zushin, thud, thud, and the younger demon only helped with what the bitter-hearted healer would have considered reluctance, if she had the mind to think clearly. Soon enough only a small bit of flames remained, and this the younger demon held in her hands as though it was a small, fluttering little heart.

“It must be strange to you to see that flames do not burn us,” said the demon, perhaps not knowing—or perhaps knowing very, very well—that the bitter-hearted healer could think nothing on how a demon would not be burned by flames.

“As it would happen, silly, stinky human,” she explained, “demons are not affected by the cold or the heat like you flimsy creatures.”

The bitter-hearted healer could not quite take another moment of this torture. Her heart was nearly threatening to jump out of her chest, beating so very quickly, baku, baku, thump, thump, because, you see, though the healer had often come face to face with death in her practice, she had never given very much thought to the idea that she could truly, actually be the one facing death one day!

She pressed her head against the singed, cold ground with her hands in front of her and said, “Oh, please, demons, please, please spare me! Once you understand my sad tale, you cannot possibly wish to eat me!”

Of course, the bitter-hearted healer did not understand the tale of the demons themselves (and this she would never understand, much as the man in the cave would never understand the love between demons and humans, but, ah, that is a story for quite another time). The bitter-hearted healer did not understand that the demons she had encountered that fateful night were demons from a smaller settlement, and she did not know that this settlement had grown very tired of hunting humans and so had pledged, with great sincerity and passion, to refrain from ever tasting the sweet flavors of human flesh and blood ever again.

It is easy to say that the bitter-hearted healer could not have understood this tale, and it would be correct to say so, because no human in all the Kingdom of the Reed Plains at the time could say that they knew of the demons within their own lands who had sworn off eating them forever. But the bitter-hearted healer would also not have understood this tale should she have ever been told it, because, you see, to the bitter-hearted healer, a demon was a demon, and demons ate people, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

However, the bitter-hearted healer did think very much that she could avoid being the human the demons chose to eat, if she were only clever enough.

And so the woman pushed her face even farther into the dirt (which she didn’t quite think possible), and she said, “You would understand my tale, too!”  The woman’s voice absolutely dripped with desperation, and there was enough that the demons could scoop it up with their hands and drink and be filled. “You are very beautiful demons,” the woman cried, “and my sad tale could only be understood by those who understand the gift of great beauty, and I know very well that you understand this gift!”

Now, the demons had no desire to eat the woman or even drink her blood on account of their pledge, and truth be told, they would have no desire to eat the woman or even drink her blood had they not been bound by such a pledge. There was such a terrible, ghastly stench coming off the woman and her cold, frozen heart, and the demons were quite sure that, should they even attempt to eat her, she would taste as terrible and ghastly as she smelled.

The bitter-hearted woman could also not have known that the younger demon entertained the thought of wiping her tongue off on the bark of trees after tasting someone as disgusting as the woman who sat crouched before her, and indeed, she would not have even considered such a thing. To the bitter-hearted woman, all that mattered was her beauty, and as her thinking went, beautiful creatures must also taste quite delicious, and so she must have seemed quite the delectable treat to the two demons before her.

As the bitter-hearted woman saw her situation, she would have to try her very, very hardest to not be eaten.

The demons played along with the woman. “A tale, you say?” asked the older demon woman. “Perhaps you are the one who should be the traveling storyteller?”

In all her fear, the bitter-hearted woman thought herself at least wise enough to agree with a demon when asked such a question. “Perhaps, perhaps!” she agreed, though deep inside she could not imagine being in such a lowly, silly, worthless profession as a traveling storyteller.

The demons tried very hard to refrain from gagging at how the woman’s stench became much more terrible with her lie. They continued to play the woman’s game.

“We shall see how skilled you are,” the younger demon woman said. She still held the flames in her hands, coaxing the fire as though it were a small animal.

“Yes, yes, you shall see!” cried the bitter-hearted healer, and she then told her story in the best manner she could muster. She spoke of how the beautiful empress did not deserve her beauty and did not appreciate it, and she spoke of how all the empress deserved was a hideous child, and she said that she had half-considered running away from this horrible place and starting a brand-new life because she quite abhors ungratefulness, you see, and the beautiful empress is surely the definition of ungrateful!

The bitter-hearted healer could not have known how the demons reacted to her story. She could not have understood how the two looked at each other with great plans and ideas blooming in their minds, and she could not understand the language that they spoke to one another in quiet tones, because to the bitter-hearted healer, you see, the language of the demons sounded much the same as the go-o, go-o of the wind.

And so after the bitter-hearted healer had spoken all she had to say, she stared a great, long while at the two incredible creatures before her, knowing all too well in her frozen heart that there was nothing else she could do.

But it was such a long, painful time that the demons spoke to one another, and as you might imagine from a woman who believed very sincerely that she was at death’s door, the bitter-hearted woman became quite consumed by fear. Though there was a great bitterness inside her that would not go away, there came too to be a great terror.

How horrible and unfair is everything! the woman could not help but think, tainting her scent ever more as her heart grew ever colder. Here she had not only come to the ungrateful empress’s kingdom to do her a great deed, but on her first night in the supposedly beautiful empress’s lands, she is held hostage by demons and sentenced to death! Her great kindness to come to the empress’s aid had only resulted in her very downfall!

And so the bitter-hearted woman fumed quite thoroughly to herself, and her bitterness grew and grew, and the demons spoke more and more quickly because, you see, they were not so certain how much longer they could stand being so close to such a cold-hearted, cruel woman.

It was only once the bitter-hearted healer became very convinced that she was going to be eaten on the spot that the older demon woman said, with a hesitance that the woman did not recognize as hesitance, “You have told quite an amazing story indeed.”

The bitter-hearted woman thought immediately upon hearing these words that the demon was genuine in saying them, and she would have been correct, to an extent, because the demon woman did find her tale amazing, in a sense.

The younger demon woman said, “We like your story very much, and we would like to help you! It is true; a cruel fate has come upon you, and it is not fair that you have been sent away to this kingdom! To think that you have been sent all this way to help such an empress as the human empress that reigns in the Kingdom of the Reed Plains! It is disgusting! Despicable!”

At these words, the bitter-hearted healer could have broken out into tears, and it is only the older demon’s next words that keep her from doing just that.

“If you would come with us, just a ways, we can make it so your dreams can come true,” she said.

The bitter-hearted healer felt the great relief that had only just filled her dissipate away, tainted. Her fear came back, and this fear was a terror so great that it felt to the bitter-hearted healer to be almost as tangible as the rain that began to fall upon her at that moment, zabun, zabun, plop, plop. With dread and anxiety building deep within her, the bitter-hearted woman considered many possibilities for what the demons planned to do now.

They were discussing which of my body parts they are going to eat, she thought to herself. They are going to take me back with them to their home, and they are going to enjoy me while they drink away all the water in the river that they must live by, because of course demons must live by a river! I am going to die here, and these demons must consider me quite foolish, to think that their compliments and kind words are enough to tempt me straight into the jaws of death!

The bitter-hearted woman grew more and more bitter, but she smiled very kindly at the demons, the way she had become so accustomed to from her practice, and she knew that even in the rain, she looked very beautiful when she smiled.

“I will go with you,” she said, and she got to her feet, and the demons smiled back at her, though even the bitter-hearted woman could sense that these smiles were not fully kind.

And so the bitter-hearted healer went with the demons because there was surely nothing else she could do, and she thought to herself that when they stopped and tried to devour her whole, she could perhaps kick their teeth, or perhaps they were thinking of saving her for another day, in which case she could steal their shoes and surely run a thousand ri in just a moment.

On and on the bitter-hearted healer’s thought went in this way, and she was so very preoccupied with her illusions that she did not notice at first that the demons had stopped. The bitter-hearted woman had only the little flickering light of the demon’s fire (that had somehow not been extinguished in the rain) to use to see in the darkness, but it seemed to her that they had stopped before what the healer recognized to be an herb garden much like the one she had back in her own backwater hometown.

“It is exactly what you believe it to be,” said the younger demon. The older demon then proceeded to pick from the garden something that the healer could not recognize, even with her great skill and beauty at her craft.

The bitter-hearted woman wondered briefly if whatever it is that the demon had picked would be used to make her tastier, or perhaps it was poison, and the demons truly had been moved by her tale and wished for her to have a peaceful demise rather than be swallowed whole.

It took everything the bitter-hearted woman had to not shudder terribly at this thought.

But the older demon explained, very matter-of-fact, what it was in her hands. “We do not grow the same herbs as you humans do,” she said. “Demons are much stronger than humans, with hearts that are much lighter, and we are far more advanced in our medicines.”

The bitter-rated healer did not believe this in the slightest, but she smiled her very politest smile. “I would very much like to learn more about your herbs,” she said, though she wished to say, I want absolutely nothing to do with your cursed medicines because they would be sure to poison me and all my patients!

“Unfortunately for you, I cannot share the demons’ secrets with a human,” said the older demon. “But I can provide you with this herb, to present to the empress.”

This the bitter-hearted healer found very surprising indeed.

“An herb to present to the empress?” she repeated, a strange sensation of excitement filling her no matter the fact that she was surely just seconds away from being tricked into her own demise by demons.

“Yes,” said the younger demon. “If you present this herb to the empress, her child will be born very, very healthy, because we demons have healing magic, you know, and we have the power to cure nearly any ailment known in the world just using our own power. You must imagine that our medicines are capable of much, much more.”

The bitter-hearted healer felt her excitement wane. Her polite smile fell to nastiness, and this she did not even make the slightest attempt to hide. “Why in the world would I want to give the empress exactly what she wants?” she asked. It seemed so very horrible, and she considered herself such a very sad creature, to be in a position where even the demons sided with a disgraceful, ungrateful empress over her! Was she not beautiful enough to be given whatever it is she wanted? She, who so respected and was so very grateful for the gift of beauty that she had received from the gods?

And though the bitter-hearted woman did not take any note of it, the older demon would think that perhaps she was too harsh with her next words, but she could not help it, you see, because it is a demon’s curse to be extraordinarily honest, even if humans could not comprehend nor understand this honesty.

She said, “We would hope that even the most wicked of humans would not wish for a child to be born so sickly that they perish shortly after birth,” but then she shook her head and said to the bitter-hearted empress, who smelled even more terrible at this point and seemed very much to be fuming, “But we would like to make your dream come true, healer from a faraway kingdom.”

The bitter-hearted healer crossed her arms and surveyed the demons quite thoroughly now. “Are you saying?” she started, and she could not quite finish, even if that was quite unbecoming of a beautiful lady.

“Yes,” said the younger demon. Her face was lit up by the flame that still danced in her palm. “If you give this herb to the empress, her child will be born uglier than any human and far uglier than any demon.”

A great, horrible smile came upon the bitter-hearted healer’s face at this revelation. She very gladly took the herb from the older demon, and she even more gladly presented this herb to the beautiful empress when she returned to the palace to a very relieved guard and when it came to be her turn to come before the terrible empress who had brought such pain and misfortune upon her life.

“Take this,” the bitter-hearted healer said very confidently to the empress, smiling her very politest smile that she had grown much accustomed to smiling from her practice. “Place it in your tea, and be sure that the tea is very warm, and your child will be born very healthy and very lovely.”

The bitter-hearted healer, you see, was not like the honest demons. She very much relished her lie, and her very politest smile would have seemed distinctly not polite, had anyone looked closely enough.

But no one looked closely enough, because the bitter-hearted healer was simply a small healer from a faraway kingdom, and though she was a great beauty, no one could be bothered to look her way, not when in the same room as the most beautiful empress in all the world.

However, perhaps the woman’s heart was not as cold as the demons had seen it, because even this bitter-hearted healer felt within her a sting of remorse as she stood before the empress. In the woman’s mind, you see, the empress was surely not as beautiful as she was made out to be, but this silly empress held herself up as though she was the most beautiful creature on all of the Earth! The bitter-hearted healer almost felt sorry for the poor creature, left thinking that she is so amazingly lovely when she is so clearly not.

And yet, as it may be expected from a tale such as this one, the bitter-hearted healer’s small bit of remorse was not enough for her to treat the empress properly, as she would one of her own patients back in her hometown that the woman found herself missing in increasing amounts, and so she kept her smiling as the empress thanked her for her work.

The bitter-hearted healer, of course, did not know that it was not the demons who had made it so the medicine would cause the princess of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains to be born horrifically ugly. She could not know, and she could not understand, because she did not realize her own bitter-heartedness and would never understand it, not for as long as she lived (and this, you see, was not a very much time longer).

“Humans with hearts as cold as this woman,” the old demon had said to the younger demon, back when they had first heard the healer’s sobbed tale, in a language that the bitter-hearted healer did not understand and could not understand, “are capable of tainting even the strongest medicine with evil, but it is they who suffer the most from their bitterness. A human heart is not meant to be cold. Humans are not designed for the cold as we demons are, and a frozen heart can only beat for so long before it wears itself away with its darkness.”

And so, perhaps it was not odd that the bitter-hearted healer did not live to see the day that her tainted medicine had done its work, and the empress’s daughter was indeed born as hideous as a snake. The healer was a miracle doctor from the heavens and a healer who could heal all, it seemed, except herself. The bitter-hearted woman’s coldness made her incurably ill upon returning to her kingdom, and the people sighed for a moment at her passing.

“She was quite a beauty,” the people said, because it was quite sad to lose someone who looked so lovely, just as it is quite sad to lose a lovely flower to an unseasonal bout of cold weather. “It is a shame to lose her and no longer see such a lovely face.”

But as all beauty eventually fades one day, so did the memory of the healer, who, you must understand, was not truly especially skilled at her craft, and indeed, had relied heavily on the skills of her not-so-pretty assistants whose stories the world did remember far beyond their time.

And so the bitter-hearted healer’s tale was forgotten, and when the time comes that a man in a cave tells this story of the beautiful empress’s ugly daughter to the Crown Princess Satsuki, not a soul remains who remembers the bitter-hearted healer at all.

[bravadoseries]

All the evens for Audrey and all the odds for Margo!

thank you!  this got super long so i’m putting it under a cut hehe

audrey: 

2. why is your oc problematic?

audrey is problematic because she has no clue what she’s doing when it comes to anything and when it comes to being a hero, she relies almost entirely on trial and error.  

4. what crossovers with other ocs have you talked about?

i have talked about crossovers with you for leila, @emiliachrstine​ with jacqueline, and @notaboutcat​ with grace barnes!!!  

6. if your oc were to have superpowers, what would they be? if your oc has superpowers, what are they?

so audrey has super soldier strength as her primary superpower, and also there’s some other stuff that will be revealed during the thor: tdw arc

8. alright, be honest—whether or not they get the chance to prove it, is your oc worthy?

so i think that audrey does become worthy eventually during endgame, but i think that all the avengers are.  

10. what’s your oc’s fight song? (e.g., immigrant song for thor, just a girl for carol)

girls just wanna have fun!!! i think is the biggest one.  but i have actually picked out songs for the main fights in all of the movies audrey is in: 

avengers battle of new york: “mama talking” by parov stelar

moscow fight against bucky: “bad guy” by billie eilish which i know wasn’t technically released yet but it’s okay

thor: tdw final fight: “big god” by florence and the machine

tws final fight: “seven nation army” by the white stripes

avengers: aou battle of sokovia: “glass & patron” by fka twigs

captain america: civil war airport scene: “bad blood” by taylor swift

angels of mercy final fight: “tomboy” by princess nokia

thor: ragnarok: “the future’s so bright, i gotta wear shades” by timbuk 3 

avengers: iw: “yellow flicker beat” by lorde

avengers: endgame: “girls just wanna have some” by chrormatics and “lights up” by harry styles and “boys wanna be her” by peaches 

12. what was your oc like in high school?

audrey didn’t officially go to high school because she was tutored privately until she started just going to college but she was generally bored with her tutors.  when she went to high school in the 80s, she was jarred.  even though she’d gotten several degrees by that point, she was like freaked out by being with other people and having to have a social life because in college she just didn’t talk to anybody.  so she was nervous and quiet but she did have one good friend!

14. your oc meets thanos. what’s their first move?

omg audrey’s first move is to spit on him, i think, and then she just like attempts to tackle him and scratch his eyes out ngl

16. your oc gets married. which canon characters are in the wedding party?

yesss braudrey wedding time!! natasha is one of her bridesmaids, tony is the officiant, and both steve and darcy walk her down the aisle.  steve and darcy have a young daughter by this point who is a flower girl with morgan, and they’re super cute.  i could talk about the braudrey wedding for so long though i have so many little plans

18. what are your oc’s bad habits or vices?

audrey loves sweets, i think is one of her vices. she also tends to know she’s making bad choices but go through with them anyway. 

20. your oc wears the gauntlet (without any detrimental effects on their health) and gets one snap to wish for anything they want. what do they ask for?

audrey asks to destroy the infinity stones, i think most likely.  she doesn’t want that energy to be condensed into such a powerful form because that’s like a nightmare.  i think it changes from film to film, but by the end, her final wish is for everyone to not be so powerful all the time

22. what does your oc’s bedroom look like?

audrey’s apartment is very minimalist, because it’s easy for her to get overwhelmed.  before she moved into the tower, she was a workaholic because she would get so bored with her freetime that she always had case files everywhere.  once she joins the avengers though and kind of like starts building a life for herself, she starts to settle into her place more and have details that reflect her life more—photos on the walls, little things that she collects from good memories, and a lot of books on the shelves!  audrey likes big windows and keeps them open, but the space is mostly like white with dark blue accents.  

24. which characters from other movies or shows is your oc a combination of?

excellent question!  so audrey reminds me a lot of like the most chaotic combinations of mike schur main ships?  she’s both chidi and eleanor, and both jake and amy.  she’s anxious but also impulsive, awkward but also extremely loving, strong but also scared.  

26. which canon character would they go to for advice? why?

audrey goes to different characters for advice about different things!  with moral problems, she goes to steve.  with fighting advice, she heads to natasha, obviously.  with relationship advice, she heads to darcy.  and later, post aou, audrey actually spends a lot of time with wanda and pietro becoming more politically active.  

28. what’s your oc’s biggest flaw?

audrey is scared of everything! i think is her biggest flaw.  it’s hard for her to overcome that fear.  

30. what movies or shows is your oc featured in?

audrey is in agent carter, she has cameos in iron man 1+2, thor 1, captain marvel, and captain america: tfa.  she’s a main in avengers, thor 2, tws, avengers: aou, captain america: civil war, thor 3, and avengers iw and endgame!

margo: 

1. how did you pick your oc’s name?

margo is short for margaret! i think peggy is kind of an old-fashioned name (technically so is margo) but margo is cute and short too 

3. besides their main ship, who else do you think they would work well with?

i think margo could have a relationship with magnus (thor and jane’s older son) but it probably wouldn’t be super healthy.   also i think she and calliope could have had a cute relationship which coulson would have lost his mind about lol.

5. what’s a crossover with another oc that you’ve wanted to do, but haven’t officially discussed or planned?

i feel like it would be cool to talk about margo with @cassercole​‘s queve family ! i think an audrey and q crossover would just slap in general because i think it would be angsty and cool and i can imagine q being like . i did not sign up to be a stepmother, but thanks, but then the two of them actually becoming friends eventually.  

but anyway, i can imagine bonnie and tristan teasing margo and making them call her aunt and uncle but them all getting along well and hanging out at family reunions and getting into trouble . having a vision of the three of them stealing a blunt or something from tony’s jacket pocket at thanksgiving and then all of them being high and paranoid about getting caught by steve. 

q catches them and margo is like please don’t be mad and please don’t tell my mom and q just rolls her eyes and closes the door to the room they’re all in after telling them dinner’s in 10 minutes, and she won’t tell but it’s up to them not to get caught.  

7. rank their compatibility with the marvel teams: avengers, guardians of the galaxy, agents of shield, defenders, runaways

okay so: 1) avengers, because they’re her family.  2) gotg, because she thinks they’re all super weird and cool.  3) runaways, because i think she’s scrappy and has a similar sheltered background to them.  4) aos, just because found family time.  5) defenders.  super brutal and she’s just like ummmm i am scared . 

9. which other mcu characters would your oc really get along with?

i think gamora and margo would get along super well.  also margo’s close with carol because she likes how she’s not too serious about herself as a hero.  i think she’s also probably gets along well with wanda and pietro.  she’s super close with her dad, also.  

11. post a snippet of the next chapter of an oc’s fic!

okay to be honest i have not written any of margo’s fic yet so i will have to pass 

13. what’s a secret about your oc that they would never admit? feel free to be as angsty or as silly as you’d like!

margo would never admit it but she has a slight schoolgirl crush on thor, who is one of the strength instructors slash english teachers at the academy.  

15. if your oc has a costume/were to have a costume, what does it/would it look like? what colors? cape or no cape?

no cape, but sometimes she ties a towel around her neck and dances in her dorm room.  margo’s costume would probably look a lot like helena bertinelli’s costume on arrow—very classic, infinity mask, etc. 

17. after a battle, how does your oc recover?

she cries into her pillow for several hours and enters a period if intense self loathing and eats ice cream.  

19. what were some other faceclaims you considered for your oc?

when audrey was shipped with pietro, margo was played by josefine frida petersen!

21. if your oc survived the snap, who do they miss the most?

in an au where audrey has margo before infinity war and the snap, margo would be devastated to grow up without her mother

23. what’s their love language? what’s the love language of the character they’re shipped with?

i think margo’s is words of affirmation, and leo’s is quality time! 

25. which characters annoy your oc? why?

margo gets annoyed with her mom, a lot.  audrey and bex are really close and so she feels left out of that relationship.  i also think that margo doesn’t get along super well with pepper because she thinks pepper doesn’t like her.  she doesn’t like peter quill that much, even though she likes the rest of the guardians.  and she never meets loki, but i think she would absolutely hate him.  

27. what’s your oc’s biggest strength?

i think her biggest strength is her big heart!  she feels a lot and she’s kind of intense but she’s a very loving person.  

29. team cap, team iron man, team i don’t care, or team please stop fighting?

team please stop fighting!! she’s like why is my life an episode of family feud . i know she doesn’t exist then but she looks back on it and brings it up sometimes and they’re both deeply embarrassed about it in hindsight and also like . okay BUT and she’s like okay nevermind!!!!

[sugarcoated-pain]

Heavy Rotation Part 5

Thanks to everybody who’s been reading, especially those letting me know what you think! Keep an eye out for Part 6 soon because it is gonna be GOOD! ;)

As always, thanks @sublimehood for all the help, guidance, and general reassurance lol. 

Best Friends to Lovers- original character + Ashton

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Over the next few weeks, things started to go back to normal. Well, I mean, as “normal” as things could ever be for us. Ashton and I didn’t speak of the kiss again, and we all did what we could to help him get over his break up. I respectfully didn’t bring up the “friends with benefits” comment while he was grieving, though the thought definitely crossed my mind more than once.

Around the end of January, we got a regular visitor around the studio. Ray is a music producer and owner of a brand new recording studio in New York City, as well as an old friend of Luke’s parents. He’s visiting LA on business, and had never seen the studio, so he stopped by whenever he got a chance, just hanging out and picking up ideas for his own studio.  On his first day in town, Liz was giving him the grand tour and they caught me messing around in the recording studio. Whoops. Ray was amused by this, and also could immediately tell that I am an “East Coast Girl”. Didn’t realize it was THAT obvious.

It’s almost impossible for me to stay away from the studio now that I am getting the hang of how things work in there. When business is slow, Ashton and I have been working on editing my demo, but it’s taking longer than it should, since we’re actually supposed to be working. Ray walked in one day and overheard part of my track, and was intrigued. Ashton played it for him from the beginning, much to my embarrassment, but Ray said it was “really good” and that I have “a lot of potential”. Holy crap. This is amazing.

On his last day in town, Ray approaches me alone while I’m working in the store.

“I’ve been really impressed by you while I’ve been here. You’ve got the same energy that I’m looking to have in my studio. If you decide you’d like to move back closer to home, there’s a job waiting for you.”

I’m initially stunned. He hands me his business card. “Wow, thanks. That’s incredible and honestly really flattering, “ I start, once my brain is able to process what he is saying. “But I’ve already kinda built a life here, and I love what I’m doing.”

Ray glances down at the pile of records in my hand, and gives me an incredulous look, “Stacking records?”

I chuckle slightly. “Touche.”

“Just keep it in the back of your mind, okay? The company would pay to fly you there and there could be a nice signing bonus involved. Hit me up if you change your mind.”

I stand there stunned for a few moments after he’s left, staring at his business card in my hand.

“Hey, you okay?” It’s Georgia. She’s bringing Calum lunch, and has clearly noticed that I’m in shock.

“Uh.. yeah I think so... That Ray guy just offered me a job in New York.”

“WOAH…seriously??  are you..actually considering it?” She asks, looking impressed and also mildly concerned.

“Nah not really… I mean, my gut says no, I love my life here.. But it sounds like it could be good money, and it would be nice to be closer to home…” I reply with a shrug.

“Well, you know we’d all miss the hell out of you, but I’m excited for you and support whatever decision you make!”

I smile. “Thanks, G.”

I was on closing duty for the store that night, and everybody else had shit going on, so once my shift was finally over, I had the apartment to myself. I cooked myself some pasta without anybody getting in my way, and plopped down on the couch to watch a movie. Ashton was the first one home.

“Are you watching the Wedding Singer AGAIN?” He asks, shaking his head.

“I love this movie, leave me alone!”

He plops down on the couch next to me, and before I even know what is happening, he grabs my fork and steals a bite of my alfredo.

“Hey! Get your own!” I snap, slapping his hand playfully.

He smirks triumphantly, taking another bite.

“How was work?” He asks, settling back on the couch.

“Boring as hell. OH but that Ray guy came back and actually offered me a job in New York!”

“What?? For real??”

“Yeah but I'm probably not gonna take it.. it's just kinda flattering, ya know?”

“Why aren't you going to take it?”

“Well, I mean, I've already got a job that I usually enjoy..and I've built a life here.. and there's all of you guys…”

The look on his face is hard to read but I'd say he seems pleased with my answer. His cell phone buzzes and he checks it, then let's out a frustrated groan.

“What's up?” I ask curiously.

“Nothing… just… Camille keeps texting me lately..”

“WHAT?!? What does that skanky bitch want??”

“She says she wants to 'talk’. Keeps trying to get me to meet up with her. She is apparently sorry and made a 'mistake’.” He sighs.

“....you're not buying that bullshit, right??”

“I don't really wanna talk about it right now. Let's just watch your stupid movie.” He adds, the last part in a playful tone. Without responding to the text, he puts his phone back in his pocket.

We sit in silence for a little while just watching the movie together, even though I've seen it dozens of times. I’m hyper-aware of the fact that we seem to be inching closer together on the couch, until the point that our legs are touching. I can occasionally feel him watching me out of the corner of my eye. My cheeks start to feel flushed and the air feels like it’s made of electricity. The tension starts to become too much to bear. My heart is racing now and it’s taking everything in my power not to climb on top of him right here on the couch. Almost a month has passed since the breakup, and I decide in this moment that this is a reasonable amount of time to address the thing I can’t stop thinking about.  

“So.. remember on New Year’s Day when you made that comment about ‘best friends with benefits’?” Before I can finish my sentence, his lips are on mine. Pulling me closer to him, i wrap my arms around his back and run my fingers through his hair as I kiss him back.  “But that’s all this is, right? No strings attached?” I say quickly, pulling away, but with our lips just inches apart. He instantly breaks the space between us to continue kissing me.  It’s a deep, passionate kiss, the kind I pictured every time I imagined this happening, but I need to make sure we are on the same page, so I try again, “Because you’re still getting over Camille....”,

“And you don’t want a relationship…” he retorts, but his lips are back on mine as soon as he finishes the sentence.

“And we’re best friends who live together and anything more would be weird….and I wouldn’t want everybody else to know..” I say into his ear, as he moves his lips down to my neck.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” He pulls me up onto his lap, and I straddle my legs on either side of his.  I move one of my hands from his hair to his back, moving up under his shirt and running my fingernails all the way down. I can feel him getting harder beneath me, and it’s almost too much to take. He runs his hands up under the back of my shirt to undo my bra.

Suddenly, we hear keys in the front door and I jump off of him as fast as I can. We both frantically straighten our clothes and hair, panting. Luckily, Cal and Georgia are lost in conversation and not paying attention when they first walk in. I pull my loose bra through my shirt sleeve discreetly and stuff it under the throw blanket next to me. I notice Ashton is using the other end of the same blanket to hide his erection, which makes me smirk proudly.

“Hey guys, what’re you up to?” Cal asks as they enter the living room

“Just watching a movie .. but it’s almost over and I’m exhausted so I was thinking about going to bed soon.” I reply, with a pointed look at Ashton.

“Yeah, me too.” Ash adds, picking up on the cue. He better know that I expect him to crawl through my bedroom window the second I get in there and fuck me senseless.

“Aw. We actually had a movie we wanted to watch with you guys. The four of us haven’t gotten a chance to hang out in a while.” Georgia replies. Great. Guilt trip. Ashton and I exchange a look.

“I guess I can hang out a little while longer.” I answer. How long can the movie be, right?

I can wait two more hours for the guy I’ve already waited eight months for. But about halfway through, the rush from our little makeout session has worn off and I start to feel drowsy. Last thing I remember is laying my head on Ashton’s shoulder.

I wake up several hours later, wrapped in Ashton’s arms on the couch. Someone appears to have thrown the blanket over us, so that’s kind of awkward. I realize the sun is already up, and reach for my cell phone to check the time. I’m supposed to be downstairs for work in 30 minutes so I gently move Ash’s arms and begin to stand up. He’s still passed out but he instinctively tries to pull me back to him. It’s adorable and everything I’ve ever wanted but this shit can absolutely NOT happen. This was a terrible idea. I should NOT have allowed this to happen.

“Hey, Ash. Wake up. You’ve gotta go to work soon.”

“morning” he says groggily.

I stand up and fold the blanket, and try to give him a second to wake up.“....We need to talk about last night..” My tone a little bit more serious than I intended.

“Why am I getting a deja vu feeling?” he says, as he stretches and begins to sit up.

“I changed my mind. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to do this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing…”

“Can I assume you’re not going to give me a reason as to why?”

Because you’re the most perfect man I’ve ever met and I’m secretly falling for you, which makes you the world’s worst distraction for a girl on a mission. “I just don’t want to deal with everybody in the apartment finding out, but I also don’t want to have to sneak around. I think we’re really better off as JUST friends…”

“Well I’m gonna call bullshit because I know you don’t give a damn what anybody else thinks, but fine. If that’s what you really want, then I respect that... Just friends.”

“Thank you. It is.” UGH it’s very much NOT what I really want. Why can’t I just be real with him and myself right now?

I take a super quick shower before work, and all I can think about is how badly I want Ashton in there with me. This is a problem. This HAS to stop. I’m here for my music, and I can’t let some guy hold me back, no matter how perfect he is. It occured to me in this moment that Ashton was the reason why I immediately told Ray no when he offered me the job. This is everything I wanted to avoid. What if this NYC opportunity really was my fast track into the music industry? The fact that I didn’t even consider it for a second all because of Ashton TERRIFIES me.

As soon as I step out of the shower, I reach for the jeans I had fallen asleep in, and pull Ray’s business card out of my pocket. Before I even get dressed, I send him an email asking for more details about the position. As I head downstairs for work, I hear a notification on my phone. It’s Ray, getting back to me much quicker than I anticipated, and the offer almost feels too good to be true. The money is great, I’d get to be helping make music instead of stacking cds and records all day, and I would receive a signing bonus. He even mentioned that there was a flight at the end of the week on the company’s preferred airline that still had seats available on such short notice, so he had used their miles to secure a ticket for me, just in case. That seemed a little presumptuous, but also nice to know that this guy wanted me to work for them that badly.

It was a lot to think about, and I spend most of my shift daydreaming about what it would be like to be back on the east coast, and REALLY working in the music industry. Being closer to my family and old friends would be nice. The reasons to go seemed to be adding up quicker than the reasons to stay. But I realized that my main reason to stay was more important to me than all of the reasons I should go.

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist, and I love hearing feedback!

Taglist: @cheyenne-in-wonderland @drummerboy794 @harrysgucciclothes @emmamarshmellow @rbforsmileycal @asht0ns-world @dukesnumber1

[flatsuke]

if eisuke was one of the slbp sengoku lords, what would he be like? what would his MS be like? in what ways do you think having the ichinomiya clan to run back in the 16th/17th century would change his character??

OH MAN I LOVE THIS QUESTION SM YOU HAVE NO IDEA! There’s so much potential 

Questions like these butter my biscuit man. Anyhow, without further ado, let’s start my favorite game, Eisuke Love Ballad Party:

What he would be like:

For the most part, I’d say he’d be really similar to SLBP Nobunaga in terms of personality. They’re both larger-than-life figures that are arrogant, callous, and ostensibly cruel. But everything they do has a reason behind it.

Eisuke would be the lord of a once-small clan that is now slowly gaining power in the country. Like, Nobu, he’d be the kind of leader that is feared and respected by his people as opposed to loved by his people.

I’d say he’d be a well-intentioned extremist, if that makes sense? Like, he thinks of the welfare of his people, but he’s willing to use underhanded and downright cruel tactics to make sure his people are benefiting under his rule. 

I think a major difference between Nobu and Eisuke would be that Eisuke would be a lot more subtle than Nobu. Nobu is into flamboyant shows of his power and action, but Eisuke would be a lot more toned-down. Nobu likes to work front and center, but Eisuke would rather do everything behind-the-scenes. He’s less likely to lose his cool, too.

He’d also be more manipulative than Nobu, especially when it comes to dealing with other clans. He’d be more likely to blackmail clan heads or hire assassins to get rid of his enemies. 

He’d be a master of the Fake Smile™ in negotiations, similar to Nobuyuki and Ieyasu. Eisuke is, after all, a businessman at the core of his being.

Among his retainers, only a few would genuinely like him as a person. Most of them fear him and keep a distance from him. Eisuke wouldn’t exactly be the best people-person, especially with his retainers. 

Because of his unlikeable personality and lack of a true connection with anybody, he’d be extremely prone to betrayals. Retainers who were once close to him have tried to kill him at one point or another, and some of his own family members have tried to assassinate him for monopolizing the power in the Ichinomiya Clan.

Due to that, he’d have extreme trust issues with just about anybody he’d meet, and he’d always keep people at arm’s length.

If I had to say, he’d be 50% Nobunaga, 30% Ieyasu, and 20% Nobuyuki.

Compared to his modern day self, he’d be a lot colder and crueler (as with the harshness of the feudal era).

That is, until MC comes along ;)

Possible MS plot:

I’m going to take a ton of creative and historical liberties with this (I’m having too much fun with this lol). Also, I borrowed some plot points from Nobu’s MS + Act 2, Nobu’s Another Story ES, and Ieyasu’s MS because I think it would suit Eisuke’s possible MS perfectly :D

Just like most people in that time period, MC is a simple, hardworking farmer just trying to make ends meet for herself.

One day, she encounters a stranger being attacked by a group of ronin. MC, being the good samaritan she is, steps in to defend said stranger. 

(For the sake of the AU and my own self-indulgence, let’s say MC has some martial arts training due to living alone for so long)

Of course, said stranger happens to be Eisuke in disguise. He’s currently in hiding from the castle, trying to figure out which relatives want him dead. He’s waiting for his assassins to snuff them out.

MC can’t fend off the ronin by herself, so Eisuke helps her out. He’s secretly impressed that she’d help a complete stranger at the cost of her own life.

He lies to her and tells her he’s a traveler in need of a place to stay for the time being. She tells him of the nearest inn in town, but Eisuke says he needs something more lowkey and nondescript.

She offers him temporary bedspace at her own humble shack, and he hesitates because it’s a peasant’s house, but he reluctantly agrees because he can’t afford to be picky.

So he ends up cohabiting with her for some time, 

And the whole time they’re together, they end up bickering 90% of the time because of course Eisuke acts like an entitled prick who feels like he’s above working around the house lmao. She’s annoyed that she was gullible enough to let this prick live with her rip

One day, MC goes to town to sell her crops to some merchants, and he accompanies her. When they arrive there, he hears the townspeople talk about how much they hate Eisuke and how much he’s made life harder for the peasants (of course none of them know that he’s actually Eisuke).

Surprisingly enough, MC defends Eisuke from the hate he’s been getting, saying that Eisuke always acts in the best interest of his people, etc.

He’s touched by her words because no one’s ever really defended him like that before, but he doesn’t say it out loud.

Since that day, Eisuke makes an effort to be slightly less of a prick to her than he usually is. He even tries to help her out with some of the farmwork (albeit very clumsily).

Time passes, and the assassins finally notify Eisuke that the traitors have been snuffed out

And it’s finally time for Eisuke to go back to the castle.

One day, while having a quiet dinner, he breaks the news to MC. She doesn’t believe him at first, but then she hears horses from outside her shack. Lo and behold, Eisuke’s retainers have come to pick him up and take him back to the castle.

MC is flabbergasted to say the least. She immediately bows to him and apologizes for addressing him so informally the whole time.

Eisuke tells her to stop bowing (it makes him uncomfortable after being treated normally by her the whole time).

Being the businessman he is, he gets straight to the point and insists that she come to the castle with him and act as his servant. He offers that life would be much better in the castle, and that she’d be paid handsomely for her service to him.

Of course, MC hesitates, and Eisuke being Eisuke, he doesn’t take no for an answer.

So now MC lives in the castle

And it’s a whole new experience for her because she sees all the political intrigue and the power dynamics of the elite firsthand.

She also sees Eisuke fitting into his role as a ruler and how he juggles so much responsibilities all day. 

Her job description is technically a palace servant, but she acts more like Eisuke’s personal servant.

She’s the only he allows in his chambers, and he usually calls her to make him some food, or to keep him company (because he won’t admit it, but he can only act like himself around her and he feels a little less only with her).

Unfortunately, this catches the ire of others in the castle because this low-class peasant somehow managed to earn his good graces in a short period of time. Plus, the implication of MC going into his room often isn’t good.

Still, MC perseveres.

One night, he invites her to go drink with him on the veranda

And lowkey she’s uncomfortable because earlier that day, he had a retainer punished severely and she’s still unused to his displays of severity on his subjects.

But he insists and she joins him.

He remarks how they used to drink together when they still lived at her shack. But they both know the distance between them is considerably bigger now, thanks to the revelation of his status.

Still, he straight-up tells her to stop calling him “Lord Eisuke” all the time when they’re alone. He wants to revert back the to the first-name basis they had back then.

She rejects the proposition of course, but Eisuke makes it an order for her to do it when they’re alone together at least (of course he does lmao). She eventually caves in.

They start making small talk about life in the castle, and she finally brings up the subject of the punished retainer. She asks him why he would punish them so harshly.

He angrily tells her it’s none of her business, but she retorts, saying that she always had an idealized view of him as a ruler, but after seeing his display earlier, she’s not so sure anymore.

He’s incensed at her reply, telling her how naive she is. He tells her that the retainer was caught trying to poison his drink, and that everyone has been out to kill him and betray him since Day One. He says that’s the way the world they live in works, and that she should’ve had that in mind.

He goes on to tell her that even his own family never trusted him, so he’s had to look after himself, gain power, and do everything on his own. 

It’s the first time she’s ever seen him lash out emotionally at all, and she’s not sure what to say. She gives a small apology after.

They’re quiet for a while, and he tells her that everyone ends up leaving him eventually, and that she’s the only one who’s ever stuck with him for that long. But he’s afraid that she’ll leave him, too.

She says she’ll continue to stay, and that she wouldn’t betray him, ever. He asks her to promise that no matter what, she’d never betray him. She does.

After that night, they grow considerably closer to each other, and at this point, MC already acknowledges that she has feelings for him.

But unbeknownst to them, some of Eisuke’s retainers have allied with enemy clans and have been quietly planning a coup d’etat all this time.

Eisuke learns of this plot too late before he can stop it, and he immediately pushes her away from him, even asking that she be brought back to the farm because he knows the traitors plan to kill everyone close to him. MC is understandably confused and upset.

The day comes when the traitors plan to kill him once and for all, and they trap him in the castle with no means to escape. 

It’s Eisuke and a few of his closest retainers versus the traitors + some members of enemy clans. He knows he’s outnumbered, but he still tries his best to fight anyway.

Eventually, the enemies are subdued, but all Eisuke’s allies are dead, and he’s the only one left alive (but fatally wounded) in the bloodbath. He doesn’t have the strength to move anymore.

As he lies there, dying alone, he thinks of MC’s face regretting the fact that he couldn’t make anything better for anyone, especially to the only person who ever mattered to him.

He thinks he’s hallucinating when he sees MC walk closer to him, and to his surprise, it’s actually her. He wonders why she’s stumbling as she walks towards him when he realizes she, too, was mortally wounded in the crossfire by some of his enemies.

He angrily asks why she came back for him even after all the suffering he put her through. He says she could have lived a peaceful life if she stayed.

But she tells him she made a promise to never leave him no matter what. She admits to him that she loves him as they’re both dying.

For the first time in many, many years, he cries. He’s been so alone for so long, and now he finally feels like he’s found his other half in his meaningless life.

They both die together.

And hopefully, a reincarnation AU lmao

WOW, i had way too much fun with this. I’m sorry this got really long, but I hope you enjoyed it!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #301

“i was waiting for my chance to find the light”

Did you like the beach a lot more as a kid more than you do now? Why/Why not? I did. Everything was more fun as a kid. I never REALLY loved it, though, because I did and still do hate the heat and walking through sand and getting it stuck all over you. It's pretty much torture now because I have extreme difficulty walking through sand. Has there ever been a time where you just couldn't stop crying? Explain. I know I've had days many years ago when my PTSD was truly awful where I'd sob multiple times a day. What's your least favorite time of day? Why don't you like that time?Late afternoon, like around 3-4 or so. By that point I'm usually bored senseless and going downhill. Do you like your lips? Do you enjoy kissing? They're fine, ig. And I mean yeah, if I'm really into the person? Do you like any music from the American Idols? Which ones? Ngl, I don't even remember any besides Kelly Clarkson, and who the FUCK doesn't like "Breakaway." Do you like when people challenge you? If so, in what? No, I get nervous about embarrassing myself. Personally for you, is falling for someone way beyond your control? It is entirely out of my control. What's something other than a fruit that you love in milkshakes? (Ex.twix ) Mostly chocolate stuff, haha. What is your all time FAVORITE milkshake? Ever tried the Reese's Blast from Sonic? That's some A+ shit. What's the latest you've ever stayed up reading a book? No clue. When having a peanut butter & jam sandwich, what is the best kind of jam? Grape. Do you like to write poetry? Yeah, but it's been a long time since I wrote anything. I used to do it aaall the time, but now I have to be seriously motivated and dedicated to the idea. When you get mad do you cry? Absolutely. Would you ever consider modeling? No. I do think one or two model-esque photos of myself would be nice and possibly help my self-confidence, but it's not something I'm seeking out and paying for. Are you scared of crossing bridges? Not very, no. If they're kinda sketchy-looking, I might feel a tad tense, but I'm not really scared of them. Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am unfuckingbelievably clumsy. Ever bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? Yeah, sometimes Mom would let me and my sisters do that as kids when one came through our neighborhood. Have you ever had a poem or story published? No. If you had/have a kid would you ever let them get a tattoo? If they were of the appropriate age, of course. And if they were getting it done professionally and not at some party drunk with friends. They better be in a sterile environment with someone who knows what they're doing. Do you love guinea pigs? Absolutely. I had three or four as pets when I was a kid. What is the worst thing you ever did that got you grounded? Probably run away from home. Have you ever been chased by a snake? No... and this is a misconception. Snakes don't chase. They go for what they see as the safest escape route, and sometimes they identify your own chosen direction as where they wanted to head, too. Where do you wanna work? I want to be a freelance photographer. What awards have you won? A lot of "A honor roll" trophies through school, among other academic awards. I seriously don't know what happened to that intelligence. I also have dance awards and lots of childhood sports team stuff. Would you consider yourself good at taking care of kids? I don't think I am, no. I'm way too nervous and awkward around kids. I've had to babysit for my sister twice though, and Ashley told me the kids had lots of fun and had no complaints. I guess like... I can do it, I am just very, very uncomfortable taking kids under my wing. I worry about leading them in the wrong direction. How old would a guy have to be before you wouldn't date them? I don't know, it would really depend on how much I was into the person. I generally stick with the approximation of a ten year gap though being my limit, so I think maybe him being in his mid-30s would make me feel a bit too weird. Be honest, have you ever tried weed? No, but quite honestly, I'd probably try an edible. I refuse to smoke anything for my lungs' sake. I'm curious if medical marijuana would actually be beneficial for me. Has anyone ever broken up with you with a note? No, but uh... I have, lol. It's how I broke up with my "puppy-dog love" boyfriend in middle school. Literally after he asked me if I was thinking of breaking up with him, and I said no before handing him the note because I was just too scared to do it to his face. I know, that was absolutely awful. Never, ever do that to the most innocent boy ever, kids. He didn't deserve that. Do you have sensitive teeth? Kinda. What was the worst thing you ever did to get detention/suspended? I've only ever had detention once for having too many tardies to my first class of the day in high school. We'd frequently arrive to school just a few minutes late because I was fucking impossible to drag out of bed. Have you ever suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder? Yes. Do you suffer from nasal allergies? Yes. What's your favorite kind of pudding? I only really like chocolate pudding. Have you done anything really interesting lately? I guess you could consider starting a virtual partial hospitalization program "interesting." It's not the intensive version like my first was, but rather being shorter. I just really need something to get my mental health back on the tracks. What’s the latest really fun thing you’ve done? REALLY fun? Hell if I know. I don't experience "fun" a lot at all anymore... I only ever feel like, this watered down, unenthusiastic sorry excuse for it. Have you discovered any good music lately? Oh yeah, I've found lots of 3TEETH songs I'm mad into. "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli is also a total bop. How about any good new television shows? No. Or perhaps some interesting books? Nothing new, no. Have you picked up a new hobby or learned a new skill? I mean, within what timespan? Nothing lately, really. Has anybody ever done your makeup for you? Yeah. Do you own any sparkly items of clothing? No. What’s the most colorful accessory you own and use? *shrug* Do you enjoy drag artists’ work? If so, name some of your favorites. Oh yes, I have wild respect for drag queens. I don't know enough of them to have a fair favorite, but I do watch Trixie Mattel on YouTube and he is a goddamn hoot. What, right now, is the best thing in your life? Um. I don't really know. Probably the fact my mother still lets my too-big-for-the-nest ass to live with her... I don't want to picture how my life would be if I didn't have her still essentially holding my hand. What’s a place you like to go to when you need to get away for a bit? I actually love car rides for this, so long as I can ride passenger and just blare my music and not talk. It's so odd, being afraid of driving but finding great freedom and comfort in just... going. Do you like apples? I love apples. Anything exciting coming up for you in the near future? I paid the deposit for my tattoo appointment, so it was officially scheduled in May!! I was expecting an open date to be kinda far with just how amazing this parlor is, so I wasn't too shocked to hear I have to wait a few months, but man I can hardly wait. When you get an account for something, what's the first username you try? Unless it's for a "professional" site, in which case I'd use my actual name, I just about without fail with use "Ozzkat," or replace the "o" with a zero if that's somehow taken. Would you be okay with a friend wanting to date one of your exes? Which ex? What kind of accent do people typically have where you're from? Southern. Does history interest you at all? Can't say it does. What's something you wish you could do-over? There are many things, man. Is your hair in layers or is it all the same length? Neither, really. The left side of my head is very short/shaved, and as the hair goes around to the right, it gets longer. There aren't "layers," though. Is there anyone who you're afraid to be in a car with, if they're driving? I wouldn't say afraid, but with my sister's road rage and serious tail-gating issue, riding with her can make me nervous. What's something you're very good at? Um, I guess creative writing. Do you like sour gummy worms? oh FUCK yeah Would you pick up a hitchhiker if they seemed harmless? No. I am way too paranoid for that shit. Would you be bothered if your boyfriend liked to bite you? Uhhh I'm going to assume you mean this in a sexual context, in which case I don't care so long as it's not in a visible spot. How often do you get the opportunity to be completely alone? The answer used to be a shitload, and seeing as I'm in my room most of the time, I still feel like that's kind of true, but since Mom's cancer diagnosis and she had to stop working, she's usually home with me. I like it that way, though. Total isolation is bad for me. Do you have a trampoline? Nah, haven't in many years. What's your favorite Pixar movie? Finding Nemo. What is the strangest thing you've been asked? Something sexual that made me extremely uncomfortable. What’s the weirdest thing about life that people just accept as normal? The fact we put so much worth into pieces of green paper. What's the most random thing you've done out of boredom? *shrug* What show did your parents not let you watch as a kid? There weren't any specific shows that we even wanted to watch that Mom forbade us to see... I mean she certainly wouldn't let my sisters and I watch something like South Park as little kids, but none of us really sought unsuitable shows out. We were all about Disney, Nick, and Animal Planet in my case. What is the most pleasurable feeling that doesn't involve anything sexual? What comes to mind first is a big hug from someone who makes you feel safe when you don't anywhere else. What was your last "oops, wrong person" moment? I'm going to assume I sent somebody a text meant for another person. I'm super careful about avoiding stuff like this because I get horribly embarrassed, so it's difficult to recall the last time I slipped up. What do you find attractive that isn't considered "normal" attraction? Having a broad imagination and drive to create. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done drunk? N/A What's something you really enjoy, but can't have? A pet tarantula because Mom refuses to let me lmao. I'm so into them now and desperately want a Grammastola pulchra. What Wikipedia article have you recently read? I haven't read any recently. What subject should be taught at schools, but isn't? Basic adulting and financial skills. What is the worst game you've ever played? I dunno. I've played sooooo many video games throughout my life. What tragic event was coincidentally beneficial to you? My overdose because it led to an intensive partial hospitalization program that totally changed my life. What did you think was cool when you were younger that you now think isn’t? Good question... What are your favorite or most memorable lines from any movie/show? I vaguely remember the concepts of some quotes, but not well enough to recite them. None that are seriously memorable or heavy pop up in my head now. What's a good example of 'Don't knock it till you try it'? Putting peanut butter on top of waffles with syrup. It is fucking delicious. What's your go-to get pumped up song? 5FDP's cover of "Mama Said Knock You Out" is badass HYPE. What's the dumbest thing your parents have said or done? Well, through a family assessment before my current partial hospitalization could begin, I very recently learned my dad fucking did drugs before my sisters and I were born, including shit like cocaine. That was great to suddenly learn. As for my mom... probably have a kid too young? She doesn't talk very much about her eldest daughter's history with (and without) her, but I know enough to know that was a very rocky time in her life. What are some things you wish existed? Cures for countless illnesses, and I also have SUUUUUCH a yearning for some kind of technology that could copy an image in your head onto a drawing device. If only I could draw how/what I see up there... Which person shaped you the most? Jason. Or Mom. What’s the one movie you couldn’t finish? Why? Couldn't tell you; I just haven't watched enough. What's a small thing you have a big passion for? Meerkats, quite literally with "small" lmao. What change have you made recently to help the environment? I have metal straws I try to remember to bring with me if I go out to eat. What was the hardest thing you've ever had to forgive? The way Jason left. Is there anything or anyone you're angry at, that you haven't forgiven yet? I sometimes question if I truly have forgiven Jason. I lean kinda heavily towards yes, I have, I'm just bitter about it all regardless. Have you ever plotted revenge against someone? No. Have you ever done anything to get revenge against someone? I can't think of anything off the top of my head. What is the greatest longing of your heart? To feel purpose. Who was your first love? Some guy in high school who "had" to talk to me upon seeing me the first time, only to wind up wanting to hear nothing from me later on down the line. What denomination is your church (if you go)? N/A What was the first year you voted in a presidential election? This most recent election, actually. Have you ever been afraid of the world ending? I used to worry it would happen in my lifetime, but now I don't. If it ends, it ends. I ain't got much to lose nowadays. What is unfair about your life? My mental health. My financial position. I'd rather not focus on the billion shitty things going on in my life rn, so next question. Did you write love poems when you were younger? ugh Who are you jealous of and why? There's a lot of people I'm in some way envious of, honestly. Have you ever had an account of yours hacked? Yes. Thankfully nothing major happened. Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? No.