#does anybody else feel so very extremely absolutely completely totally normal about this or is it just me 😃

[bamgeut]

SOOBIN | minisode 3: TOMORROW Concept Trailer

[therealvinelle]

What if the entire human cast were turned into vampires? (those who stay human throughout the saga)

Well, the first question we must ask ourselves, is who’s turning them? Who would do such a thing?

It’s a very stupid thing to do, after all, and a surefire way to earn yourself a visit from the Volturi.

Now, who in the post-Breaking Dawn world would want to turn all the humans near the Cullens into vampires, ensuring another confrontation between the Cullens and the Volturi?

Answer is, drumroll-

The Romanians.

As of Breaking Dawn, the Volturi are extremely vulnerable. Jane, Alec, even Chelsea have all been neutered. Renata is Schrödinger’s shield. She might work, might not. The more time they’re given to regroup after this, however, the worse news for their would-be usurpers.

Now is the time for a rebellion, but there’s no rebellion without Bella. Bella, unfortunately, is in a coven led by ultimate pacifist Carlisle, and Carlisle isn’t going to greenlight storming Volterra with an army. It’s time to get creative.

This could go many places, but the path of a biting spree in Forks and La Push is certainly one of them.

So, Vladimir and Stefan bite the entire human cast, and open Pandora’s box.

One of the first things to happen, I think, is that Billy, Quil senior, Emily, Kim, and Rachel are killed, maybe even before their transformations can complete. They would not want to live as vampires, to them vampirism is a fate worse than death. A mercy killing before they can hurt anybody would be the only way out.

As for the rest...

This would break the secret.

In this globalized age of internet, viral videos, and live TV, several hundred people all falling mysteriously ill with the same inexplicable symptoms, screaming and begging for death for days, slowly turning into something else as baffled doctors watch, before becoming massacring demons that tear the hospitals they’re in to pieces within minutes and proceed into the streets, killing everything in sight-

Aro hasn’t had a headache like this since ever.

This doesn’t even have to do with the Cullens anymore, though they’ll have to testify that they had nothing to do with this. Caius will be out for blood, though, any blood, and his ire will fall upon them.

This, of course, is the part the Romanians did it all for, because everyone knows that the Volturi are corrupt and would execute them regardless of guilt, so the Cullens will have to bring a new set of witnesses to this confrontation. And this time, of course, the Volturi are showing up to get massacred. Stefan and Vladimir high five each other.

And this time the odds are entirely in their favor.

In Breaking Dawn, standing by the Cullens was a suicide mission. No one knew Bella would be able to pull off what she did, none of the arrivals even knew she even had a gift when they agreed to come. Carlisle gathered only his bravest and most devoted friends.

In this scenario, now that everyone knows Bella’s gift neuters the Volturi, every single vampire who’s ever wanted the Volturi gone are going to want to be there. From random nomads to Maria with her newborns, everyone who’s anybody is going to want to be there, and they’re likely already squabbling over who gets to be top dog as soon as Aro’s a pile ashes.

And Aro can’t avoid this.

He can’t barricade himself in Volterra because there are hundreds of newborns loose in Washington. If he does nothing this will mean that the Volturi rule is officially void. They can’t enforce their law anymore, they may be alive down there in Italy but the era of the Volturi is over in all the ways that count.

If he goes to Washington, he can’t avoid the Cullens for the same reason as above. If he doesn’t collect their testimony to ascertain their innocence it’ll mean they’re now above the law, which in turn means that the Volturi don’t have the strength to punish them.

He has to go to Washington, and he has to deal with the Cullens.

Now, Carlisle may think the best of everyone, but even he would know the plot of the movie 300 when he sees it. The Romanians showed up at his doorstep, they totally didn’t create all those vampires wink, oh and here are eighty thug vampires who are already drawing straws on who gets to kill which Volturi.

More, what happened in Forks and La Push is only a taste of what’s to come.

Not only are the Volturi needed to help stop this madness, but if they should fall then what happened in Forks and La Push will only be a blip on the radar against the chaos that will be unleashed. It’ll be a genocide of the human species.

And Carlisle will have a culpability in that. The reason why this mass vampire creation tragedy is happened in the first place is precisely to see the Cullens go to war against the Volturi.

Last problem, it would be a massacre of the Volturi. Carlisle is a pacifist who cherishes life, even if it there would be no repercussions to the Volturi falling, forty-something vampires would still be killed.

I think at this point it would be unconscionable for Carlisle to allow this confrontation to happen. Question is, how to prevent it?

I have no doubt that the Romanians would be filling Bella’s head with conspiracy theories and what have you, for starters, explaining how her family will never be safe while Aro lives. It would be effective, even if Bella is told by Carlisle what this means for humans she’s not necessarily going to internalize just how bad that would be. Bella also has the problem that she romanticizes her love for Edward, to the point where she i Eclipse would let his family die if it meant she could keep him. Letting civilization fall to protect her lover would be acceptable to Bella.

More, the Cullens like humans well enough, but they’re not altruistic.

Likely, they would be convinced by the Romanians and the other vampires there that this was a fight for liberty, the human population would be fine, this is really no worse than Heidi fishing 40 people a week, we’re just more honest about it! The Cullens would want to be convinced, because the Volturi are scary and have proven evil in the past. If they’re not overthrowing them, they’re not just agreeing to live in danger, they’re agreeing to be slaughtered. It’s been established, to them, that Aro’s just itching for an excuse to kill them.

Carlisle can make his plea that they fuck off to Isle Esme while he alone stays behind to testify to Aro, so there’s no Bella at the confrontation. They’d refuse both because there’d be nothing stopping Aro from killing their allies and then coming after them when they’re alone, and because there’d be a real chance they were leaving Carlisle to his death.

Besides, with Bella’s gift they can hold the Volturi hostage, act nice or she’ll let these 80 vampires kill them. Nevermind that the vampires would just attack the Volturi anyway, and Bella couldn’t not shield them.

Bella and the rest of the Cullens aren’t going to go along with Carlisle.

Now, if Carlisle were Aro, the hard but effective solution here would be the Didyme route. Kill Bella, one life to spare the many.

Carlisle is not Aro.

What options does he have, then?

He could sneak away to intercept the Volturi, speak with Aro, hope to in some way initiate talks. It’d be a desperate, futile gamble, one where even if he gets Aro to listen it still won’t make their army-shaped problem go away, because Bella will never believe it if Aro says “we’re friends now! No quarrel! I’m definitely not going to kill you at first leisure if you let your army go.”

It’s an empty lead.

I think, given everything, Carlisle would swallow down the bitter taste of irony, call up his old friends whom he can still rely on, such as the Irish and the Amazonians, and ask very nicely if they would - sigh - like to witness that the newest Cullen-Volturi encounter goes over peacefully. The shapeshifters should be on board as well, after what happened to their loved ones and the countless other innocent humans killed or turned, they’ll never forgive the Romanians and not Bella for standing with them either.

So Aro shows up, and there’s Bella and the Romanians with an army of thugs, and there to the side is Carlisle with his tiny squad of witnesses. Who, should a fight break out, will try to defend the Volturi and get themselves killed in the crosshairs.

There’s a long silence.

Everyone is giving Carlisle their most exasperated eyerolls, his own squad included. Carlisle wishes he was rolling his eyes too, but the situation is a bit too serious for that. He just stands there feeling very uncomfortable.

Quite damningly for Bella, if she now allows the fight to happen that means the shapeshifters will be killed. None of the Cullens are particularly keen on the fight now that Carlisle’s likely to die.

Frankly, I think this would be an unbearably awkward encounter where absolutely nobody acknowledges aloud the reason why they’re there, or what was supposed to happen, and act as if it’s a normal trial, for the several first few minutes.

The Romanians know this is it, this is their chance, so right about the time where Aro is saying “How excellent that we’ve established the Cullens didn’t do it! Who, then, could the culprits possibly be?” they launch their attack.

All, at this point, depends on Bella’s reaction. If she keeps up her shield, then a glorious battle occurs, and most if not all Volturi die, the Carlisle squad are also goners, and most if not all of the Romanians’ army die as well.

The thing is, to win the Romanians don’t have to win - they just have to make the Volturi lose. So, even if they’re wiped out, if they can take out the key members of the Volturi then the Volturi will still have lost.

And this is where Aro’s planning enters into the equation.

Would he bring his key players to what was certain to be a slaughter? Would he even come himself?

Is it not perhaps wiser to send the twins, who in a fight without their gifts would be the first and easiest to be killed, to a secret location? Hope that, should the Volturi fall, then they can at least hope to take Bella down with them so that Jane and Alec will be able to keep the world from succumbing to a fiery hellpit?

And Jane and Alec couldn’t do this alone. They’re kids, for one thing. More, there are no men like Aro. His gift and personality both have been how he kept the vampire world under control for over a thousand years. It is a romantic notion to go down with your ship, burn with your empire, but it’s an impractical one. And Aro is nothing if not practical.

If he doesn’t show up to the trial it’ll just be sending his Volturi to be slaughtered, and as I explained above, not going at all isn’t an option either.

I think the twins would be safely whisked away to some faraway place, while Aro arrives with plans for an effective escape for himself and the core members, and as many vampires Chelsea was able to get to redshirt themselves.

This, in turn, means that even if Bella doesn’t use her gift, it’ll still be a slaughter. Alec and Jane aren’t there.

In the scenario where Bella doesn’t use her gift, this forces the Cullens to fight alongside the Carlisle squad and the Volturi. The odds are not so uneven as they originally were. Could be Aro still escapes, or given the tipped balances he could try and luck it out, to increase the odds of his side winning.

There are many outcomes this battle could have, but the Volturi would not escape unscathed from this. No coven would, the fighting would only end when there was only the victor remaining.

I, personally, like the outcome where Carlisle and Aro both survive, and find themselves living with a new world order. The secret is out, the Volturi are a shadow of what they once were, and the Cullens can never live as humans again. The two form a tentative alliance (because at no point has anything been cleared up between them) to keep this new world from descending into interspecies war.

Edward, now a Volturi, wonders where it all went wrong.

(There’s also the outcome where Renesmée joins her grandpa’s squad as a teen rebellion thing, and since no one wants to harm her the fight is cancelled. 

Aro repeats his ramble about nukes and missiles, the vampire community needs him to smooth things over and have Chelsea make all world leaders adore vampires or it’s over for all of them. Carlisle supplies in that poorly scripted random member of the audience says exactly what the magician needs him to way, “Yes absolutely the humans have weapons that can take us out!”

It’s awkward for everybody.)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #301

“i was waiting for my chance to find the light”

Did you like the beach a lot more as a kid more than you do now? Why/Why not? I did. Everything was more fun as a kid. I never REALLY loved it, though, because I did and still do hate the heat and walking through sand and getting it stuck all over you. It's pretty much torture now because I have extreme difficulty walking through sand. Has there ever been a time where you just couldn't stop crying? Explain. I know I've had days many years ago when my PTSD was truly awful where I'd sob multiple times a day. What's your least favorite time of day? Why don't you like that time?Late afternoon, like around 3-4 or so. By that point I'm usually bored senseless and going downhill. Do you like your lips? Do you enjoy kissing? They're fine, ig. And I mean yeah, if I'm really into the person? Do you like any music from the American Idols? Which ones? Ngl, I don't even remember any besides Kelly Clarkson, and who the FUCK doesn't like "Breakaway." Do you like when people challenge you? If so, in what? No, I get nervous about embarrassing myself. Personally for you, is falling for someone way beyond your control? It is entirely out of my control. What's something other than a fruit that you love in milkshakes? (Ex.twix ) Mostly chocolate stuff, haha. What is your all time FAVORITE milkshake? Ever tried the Reese's Blast from Sonic? That's some A+ shit. What's the latest you've ever stayed up reading a book? No clue. When having a peanut butter & jam sandwich, what is the best kind of jam? Grape. Do you like to write poetry? Yeah, but it's been a long time since I wrote anything. I used to do it aaall the time, but now I have to be seriously motivated and dedicated to the idea. When you get mad do you cry? Absolutely. Would you ever consider modeling? No. I do think one or two model-esque photos of myself would be nice and possibly help my self-confidence, but it's not something I'm seeking out and paying for. Are you scared of crossing bridges? Not very, no. If they're kinda sketchy-looking, I might feel a tad tense, but I'm not really scared of them. Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am unfuckingbelievably clumsy. Ever bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? Yeah, sometimes Mom would let me and my sisters do that as kids when one came through our neighborhood. Have you ever had a poem or story published? No. If you had/have a kid would you ever let them get a tattoo? If they were of the appropriate age, of course. And if they were getting it done professionally and not at some party drunk with friends. They better be in a sterile environment with someone who knows what they're doing. Do you love guinea pigs? Absolutely. I had three or four as pets when I was a kid. What is the worst thing you ever did that got you grounded? Probably run away from home. Have you ever been chased by a snake? No... and this is a misconception. Snakes don't chase. They go for what they see as the safest escape route, and sometimes they identify your own chosen direction as where they wanted to head, too. Where do you wanna work? I want to be a freelance photographer. What awards have you won? A lot of "A honor roll" trophies through school, among other academic awards. I seriously don't know what happened to that intelligence. I also have dance awards and lots of childhood sports team stuff. Would you consider yourself good at taking care of kids? I don't think I am, no. I'm way too nervous and awkward around kids. I've had to babysit for my sister twice though, and Ashley told me the kids had lots of fun and had no complaints. I guess like... I can do it, I am just very, very uncomfortable taking kids under my wing. I worry about leading them in the wrong direction. How old would a guy have to be before you wouldn't date them? I don't know, it would really depend on how much I was into the person. I generally stick with the approximation of a ten year gap though being my limit, so I think maybe him being in his mid-30s would make me feel a bit too weird. Be honest, have you ever tried weed? No, but quite honestly, I'd probably try an edible. I refuse to smoke anything for my lungs' sake. I'm curious if medical marijuana would actually be beneficial for me. Has anyone ever broken up with you with a note? No, but uh... I have, lol. It's how I broke up with my "puppy-dog love" boyfriend in middle school. Literally after he asked me if I was thinking of breaking up with him, and I said no before handing him the note because I was just too scared to do it to his face. I know, that was absolutely awful. Never, ever do that to the most innocent boy ever, kids. He didn't deserve that. Do you have sensitive teeth? Kinda. What was the worst thing you ever did to get detention/suspended? I've only ever had detention once for having too many tardies to my first class of the day in high school. We'd frequently arrive to school just a few minutes late because I was fucking impossible to drag out of bed. Have you ever suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder? Yes. Do you suffer from nasal allergies? Yes. What's your favorite kind of pudding? I only really like chocolate pudding. Have you done anything really interesting lately? I guess you could consider starting a virtual partial hospitalization program "interesting." It's not the intensive version like my first was, but rather being shorter. I just really need something to get my mental health back on the tracks. What’s the latest really fun thing you’ve done? REALLY fun? Hell if I know. I don't experience "fun" a lot at all anymore... I only ever feel like, this watered down, unenthusiastic sorry excuse for it. Have you discovered any good music lately? Oh yeah, I've found lots of 3TEETH songs I'm mad into. "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli is also a total bop. How about any good new television shows? No. Or perhaps some interesting books? Nothing new, no. Have you picked up a new hobby or learned a new skill? I mean, within what timespan? Nothing lately, really. Has anybody ever done your makeup for you? Yeah. Do you own any sparkly items of clothing? No. What’s the most colorful accessory you own and use? *shrug* Do you enjoy drag artists’ work? If so, name some of your favorites. Oh yes, I have wild respect for drag queens. I don't know enough of them to have a fair favorite, but I do watch Trixie Mattel on YouTube and he is a goddamn hoot. What, right now, is the best thing in your life? Um. I don't really know. Probably the fact my mother still lets my too-big-for-the-nest ass to live with her... I don't want to picture how my life would be if I didn't have her still essentially holding my hand. What’s a place you like to go to when you need to get away for a bit? I actually love car rides for this, so long as I can ride passenger and just blare my music and not talk. It's so odd, being afraid of driving but finding great freedom and comfort in just... going. Do you like apples? I love apples. Anything exciting coming up for you in the near future? I paid the deposit for my tattoo appointment, so it was officially scheduled in May!! I was expecting an open date to be kinda far with just how amazing this parlor is, so I wasn't too shocked to hear I have to wait a few months, but man I can hardly wait. When you get an account for something, what's the first username you try? Unless it's for a "professional" site, in which case I'd use my actual name, I just about without fail with use "Ozzkat," or replace the "o" with a zero if that's somehow taken. Would you be okay with a friend wanting to date one of your exes? Which ex? What kind of accent do people typically have where you're from? Southern. Does history interest you at all? Can't say it does. What's something you wish you could do-over? There are many things, man. Is your hair in layers or is it all the same length? Neither, really. The left side of my head is very short/shaved, and as the hair goes around to the right, it gets longer. There aren't "layers," though. Is there anyone who you're afraid to be in a car with, if they're driving? I wouldn't say afraid, but with my sister's road rage and serious tail-gating issue, riding with her can make me nervous. What's something you're very good at? Um, I guess creative writing. Do you like sour gummy worms? oh FUCK yeah Would you pick up a hitchhiker if they seemed harmless? No. I am way too paranoid for that shit. Would you be bothered if your boyfriend liked to bite you? Uhhh I'm going to assume you mean this in a sexual context, in which case I don't care so long as it's not in a visible spot. How often do you get the opportunity to be completely alone? The answer used to be a shitload, and seeing as I'm in my room most of the time, I still feel like that's kind of true, but since Mom's cancer diagnosis and she had to stop working, she's usually home with me. I like it that way, though. Total isolation is bad for me. Do you have a trampoline? Nah, haven't in many years. What's your favorite Pixar movie? Finding Nemo. What is the strangest thing you've been asked? Something sexual that made me extremely uncomfortable. What’s the weirdest thing about life that people just accept as normal? The fact we put so much worth into pieces of green paper. What's the most random thing you've done out of boredom? *shrug* What show did your parents not let you watch as a kid? There weren't any specific shows that we even wanted to watch that Mom forbade us to see... I mean she certainly wouldn't let my sisters and I watch something like South Park as little kids, but none of us really sought unsuitable shows out. We were all about Disney, Nick, and Animal Planet in my case. What is the most pleasurable feeling that doesn't involve anything sexual? What comes to mind first is a big hug from someone who makes you feel safe when you don't anywhere else. What was your last "oops, wrong person" moment? I'm going to assume I sent somebody a text meant for another person. I'm super careful about avoiding stuff like this because I get horribly embarrassed, so it's difficult to recall the last time I slipped up. What do you find attractive that isn't considered "normal" attraction? Having a broad imagination and drive to create. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done drunk? N/A What's something you really enjoy, but can't have? A pet tarantula because Mom refuses to let me lmao. I'm so into them now and desperately want a Grammastola pulchra. What Wikipedia article have you recently read? I haven't read any recently. What subject should be taught at schools, but isn't? Basic adulting and financial skills. What is the worst game you've ever played? I dunno. I've played sooooo many video games throughout my life. What tragic event was coincidentally beneficial to you? My overdose because it led to an intensive partial hospitalization program that totally changed my life. What did you think was cool when you were younger that you now think isn’t? Good question... What are your favorite or most memorable lines from any movie/show? I vaguely remember the concepts of some quotes, but not well enough to recite them. None that are seriously memorable or heavy pop up in my head now. What's a good example of 'Don't knock it till you try it'? Putting peanut butter on top of waffles with syrup. It is fucking delicious. What's your go-to get pumped up song? 5FDP's cover of "Mama Said Knock You Out" is badass HYPE. What's the dumbest thing your parents have said or done? Well, through a family assessment before my current partial hospitalization could begin, I very recently learned my dad fucking did drugs before my sisters and I were born, including shit like cocaine. That was great to suddenly learn. As for my mom... probably have a kid too young? She doesn't talk very much about her eldest daughter's history with (and without) her, but I know enough to know that was a very rocky time in her life. What are some things you wish existed? Cures for countless illnesses, and I also have SUUUUUCH a yearning for some kind of technology that could copy an image in your head onto a drawing device. If only I could draw how/what I see up there... Which person shaped you the most? Jason. Or Mom. What’s the one movie you couldn’t finish? Why? Couldn't tell you; I just haven't watched enough. What's a small thing you have a big passion for? Meerkats, quite literally with "small" lmao. What change have you made recently to help the environment? I have metal straws I try to remember to bring with me if I go out to eat. What was the hardest thing you've ever had to forgive? The way Jason left. Is there anything or anyone you're angry at, that you haven't forgiven yet? I sometimes question if I truly have forgiven Jason. I lean kinda heavily towards yes, I have, I'm just bitter about it all regardless. Have you ever plotted revenge against someone? No. Have you ever done anything to get revenge against someone? I can't think of anything off the top of my head. What is the greatest longing of your heart? To feel purpose. Who was your first love? Some guy in high school who "had" to talk to me upon seeing me the first time, only to wind up wanting to hear nothing from me later on down the line. What denomination is your church (if you go)? N/A What was the first year you voted in a presidential election? This most recent election, actually. Have you ever been afraid of the world ending? I used to worry it would happen in my lifetime, but now I don't. If it ends, it ends. I ain't got much to lose nowadays. What is unfair about your life? My mental health. My financial position. I'd rather not focus on the billion shitty things going on in my life rn, so next question. Did you write love poems when you were younger? ugh Who are you jealous of and why? There's a lot of people I'm in some way envious of, honestly. Have you ever had an account of yours hacked? Yes. Thankfully nothing major happened. Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? No.

[linkspooky]

Pls... your top ten nisioisin characters... i love your lists...

I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT  HOW MUCH I LOVE MY FAVES. IF YOU EVER ASK WANT TO ASK ME WHO MY FAVES ARE FOR A SERIES FEEL FREE TO SEND ME AN ASK.

My favorite thing about Niosisin’s characters is how genuinely subversive they are. Not in the sense that he’s deconstructing tropes, but rather these are characters who would never get their story told in most other books, because they are not good, or righteous. Nisioisin breathes life into them, and allows those who cannot be forgiven, those who are deviant, those who have dropped out of society to still remain human. He tells their stories the same as everybody else, because their lives are just as fun. 

1. Even if I’m hated, Even if I’m Despised - Kumagawa Misogi 

He’s only my favorite character of all time so I’ve talked about him on this blog before, but let me find something new to say. Oh Kumagawa, how do I love thee, let me count the ways. Or maybe it’s Oh Kumagawa, how do I despise thee let me count the ways. 

Kumagawa’s character is so interesting because it’s written in antithesis of everything a shonen protagonist is. For Kumagawa, his determination just makes him fail worse and worse. His desire to be involved and help people always guarantees the worst result for the people he wants to call his friends. His empathy is extremely painful for him, and is a trait that drives him insane rather than making him a kind and loving person. 

A lot of time in manga empathy is like, a magic fix-it-all bandaid that basically makes the main character a saint by being able to emotionally relate to anybody. Kumagawa is the reality of that situation. He is empathic, and by relating so much to the humans around him he shows how ugly, and messy human emotions can really be. Recovery and saving others isn’t necessarily a beautiful thing, it’s complicated and sloppy. 

Kumagawa is a character where getting stronger won’t solve any of his problems. Which is what happens in a lot of shonen manga, rather than trying to emotionally mature the main character will just learn a new fighting technique and develop that way. Instead, Kumagawa winning fights means absolutely nothing. The only thing that can free him is to grow up as a person, and the fact that Kumagawa’s arc is given equal weight to both of the main characters shows how accepting of weirdoes and broken off beat characters Nisioisin is as an author. 

What I like about him is how genuinely broken he is, but not for monstrous reasons but for entirely human ones. It’s his genuine care for others that breaks him the most. He’s a character written to be insane, but also geniunely human. Kumagawa is not able to live properly, or even act like the main character like Zenkichi and Medaka are but he’s still able to find his own way to live. 

2. I don’t feel any reality from you people - Ajimu Najimi 

“Genius who is super good at everything, but is secretly sad and lonely on the inside” is a pretty common Nisioisin trope. It tends to be pretty hit and miss with me, but it also resulted in one of my favorite characters of all time. I tend to like these types of characters more when they’re allowed to be… what’s the word… unlikable. When the story isn’t trying to go on about how cool they are.

The reason why I love Ajimu is because she is just like Kumagawa, a subversion of the character you expect her to be. The same way Kumagawa suverts Zenkichi in a way, Ajimu subverts Medaka. The same way that Medaka is all loving, Ajimu is indifferent to absolutely everything. The reason she’s able to be kind to everyone around her is because she genuinely doesn’t care about you. Her real personality when not being apathetic, is to just be downright nasty and look down on absolutely everything. 

She’s completely self absorbed because according to Ajimu she’s the only one who exists in the universe. She’s the only one she knows for sure is real. The opposite of Kumagawa, a character entirely lacking in empathy, not even thinking of herself as human in any sense of the word. Ajimu acts like she knows everything in the story like she’s reading off of the script, but that’s because she literally thinks that everything in this world is fiction and she’s literally breaking the fourth wall.

And my favorite part about Ajimu is that the story doesn’t glorify her meta fourth wall shenanigans. She’s not treated as someone who sees through everything in the end. She’s just pathetic, and suicidal, and dragging everybody else along into her trillion year long self pity party. She’s more of a human failure than someone who can’t possibly empathize with humans, and that’s why I love her. 

3. There ain’t no meaning, got it? - Ii (Boku) 

Ii-chan is the narrator of Nisioisin’s first ever series, Zaregoto (Lit. Nonsense). It’s not really until the second book you get a grasp of his character, but Strangulation Romanticist does such an excellent job of setting up who he is as a person. This is another one of Nisioisin’s character types (narrator who feels ennui, and really, really doesn’t want to be a person). 

What’s great about Iichan is that he is special in a way. Just like he’s described in the books, when he’s thrown into situations everything goes a little bit crazy. He always gets dragged into mysteries, and has people die around him even though he tries to stay as uninvolved with people as possible. He’s actually a great look at what a character constantly caught up in murder mysteries like the main character of a detective novel would actually act like. He has this deep rambling narration that sways between nihilism and existentialism that makes him a really unique character to read about.

But at the same time Iichan is also kind of a normal dude. And I don’t mean in the sense that he’s an everyman, or has no personality, but he kind of just feels like one. The great twist of No Longer Human is that Yozo isn’t some inhuman monster, he’s just kind of a normal guy who drowns out his misery by taking advantage of women. Like, it’s not all that uncommon. The same thing with Iichan, as poetic as he gets he’s kind of a very petty person and most of his flaws are very mundane ones. 

It’s basically very hard to care about other people in this world. Ii-chan doesn’t want to at all, he just wants to have all of his emotional needs fulfilled by the friend he both infantilizes and puts on a pedestal. He’s just super clingy about the one relationship he has in life, because he’s afraid of losing it, but he’s also afraid of being close to her. Ii-chan is just kind of a normal person reacting badly to trauma, but he presents himself as such a mystery that most people lose sight of that (in story). He’s kind of just petty and annoying, and that’s why I love him. 

4. No Longer Human - Hitoshiki Zerozaki

Zerozaki is Iichan’s greatest character foil. Basically the best way to describe it is Zerozaki is Mersault. The flip that is switched on for everyone that prevents them from killing someone when the idea crosses their mind is turned off for Zerozaki, and so he kills. He doesn’t enjoy it, he doesn’t have a particular reason to it, he just can’t overcome his impulse to kill. If Ii-chan is restrained, then Zerozaki never restrains any of his impulses at all and lives following only those. 

Once again this is another common Nisioisin character archetype “A murder, but they’re sad and lonely.” What I like about Hitoshiki is how much of a deviant he is to that archetype. 

He wants a friend and somebody who understands him, but at the same time he hates himself so he doesn’t want anybody too close. He lives in a family of murderers and he’s somehow the rebellious child of the family. He’s constantly running away and wandering from place to place. What makes Zerozaki interesting is how self aware he is about all of this too. He rambles his thoughts and will just be like “Yeah, so anyway that’s totally fucked up (LOL).” 

 5. Is your life dramatic - Kaiki Deishuu

Kaiki is a character who I admire for his philosophy above all else. He’s another one of those “deviant” characters like Kumagawa who would just be a villain to be defeated in any other narrative, but in this one he gets fully fleshed out as a character. 

What’s interesting about Kaiki is that he chooses exactly the way he lives. He decides to be a villain. Kaiki at some point sees through most of the lies of the people around them, and for how meaningless the things that you are told have value can be. He hates holding onto ideas like those.

But that doesn’t mean that Kaiki rejects everything. He doesn’t claim to see above society, or that he’s not a part of society. Rather, Kaiki just uses that awareness to realize he can give meaning to whatever he personally finds meaningful. Because it’s all meaningless anyway, as a human being he can create his own meaning. 

So his want of money is not just simple greed, it’s what he’s decided to live for. Kaiki is an adult who willingly chose to become a conman because he finds that’s his place in society. He just doesn’t trust himself enough to be kind despite feeling the same desire to save others, so he decided to lie to them and trick them instead. 

6. “I don’t know anything, you’re the one who knows” Oshino Ougi

Ougi is just interesting conceptually. They are literally Araragi’s own shadow, running away from him and given form and consciousness of their own. While Ougi themselves works as a common Jungian shadow archetype calling characters out for what they are repressing and also revealing the bare faced truth to them, which is why they are so heavily associated with mirrors, lights, and shadows. 

My favorite part about Ougi however is not their connection to Araragi. It’s when Ougi starts to become their own character. An oddity with consciousness that begins to deviate from what they were made for, because they were allowed to live on their own.

Ougi did not become a fave of mine until Zoku because that was when they started to self reflect and realize their own strange existence separate to Araragi. The conversation scene with Araragi is one of my favorite in the whole series because it shows how Ougi is just a genuine tease, and a very clever and insightful person. That’s who they are, outside of just being an oddity that exists to criticize others and call out flaws. They’re ridiculous, and a little strange, and they enjoy screwing with other’s heads and messing around a bit too much. But Ougi Oshino is Ougi Oshino. 

It’s just an interesting concept, to have to define who you are as a person when you were created out of all of the unwanted qualities, and insecurities of another person. 

7. Why are you touching me without permission, you weed - Yasuri Nanami

Nanami is another one of those “I’m a genius and I’m good at everything but I’m secretly sad” characters, and once again what I love about her is how unlikable she’s allowed to be. None of what Nanami is capable of comes off as cool for very long. She’s basically framed and treated as a horror movie monster, always speaking in the same monotone voice. The one story that shows her true nature in chapter four is literally, paced, framed, exactly like a slasher movie with characters being hunted down and killed one by one. 

Nanami’s just this horrible wretched existence that doesn’t even want to be alive. She basically acts like frankenstein’s monster, ie, the one in the book. She’s just this corpse that is barely even alive in the first place, constantly sick and in pain, and she’s also at war with herself. The part of her that wants to die and the part of her that’s lonely and wants to find some reason to live, or some connection in life are constantly at war with each other. 

And as horrifying as Nanami is she also feels like the most human of Niosisin’s, super-genius characters. She’s riddled with weaknesses and flaws. She lashes out when he’s in pain, she felt bad when her parents told her to die. You get the sense that Nanami’s super genius isn’t what drove her insane at all, it was just how everybody around her treated her as some thing that was not human. Isolation made her this way. She was conditioned to act this way not born inhuman. There are characters that Nisioisin writes that are genuine sociopaths (as in the trope of an unfeeling person unable to feel human emotions), but Nanami is not one of them and so when she starts acting with sociopathic-traits in her personality it makes her all the more painfully human because we see how she’s been driven slowly to act this way. 

7. *Yawns* Nezumi

Juuni Taisen is one of those death game stories where every character is defined by their one gimmick and written around their concept. In the original novel each character really only gets one chapter to be fleshed out as a character. I half suspect Nisioisin wrote it as a dare to himself on how much he could accomplish with one chapter.

The interesting part about Nezumi is his concept again. He can redo anything 100 times. You think this would make him amazing at anything in life because of his time loop ability, but physically having to live through all of those time loops exhausts him to the point that he’s too tired to do anything. You would think he could get anything he wanted out of life, but there are times he can ask a girl out one hundred times and get rejected one hundred different ways. 

Nezumi is interesting because of how quietly he lives. There’s nothing he really wants out of life, and nothing he wishes for, like a rat he just scurries and survives. 

9. I am currently being accused by everyone - Kakushidate Yakusuke

The same as Iichan and Kumagawa, Yakusuke is a guy who is just cursed by constant bad luck. What I like about Yakusuke is that he’s a full fleshed out character, instead of just an unlucky every dude protagonist.

He’s a contract worker who is constantly shifting between jobs. Due to this fact he’s got like 1,000 skills that he gained on his various jobs. He’s not smart, but because he’s experienced so much of life he’s incredibly resourceful. Which is why he makes a perfect counterpart and foil to Okitegami.

Yakusuke’s everyday life is him constantly being accused and blamed, and falling from one bad situation to the next. But, he has so much experiences that it’s what draws Okitegami to him who can only ever experience one day at a time because her memories will reset at the end of the day. He’s exactly my type of man, a total failure at all walks of life.

10. This is your last chance, let me make you happy! - Kugi Kizutaka

He’s so low on the list because his story “Magical Girl Ritsuka” only has one chapter published in english, but he’s so interesting he instantly became a fave. He’s actually a concept i have been looking for for a long time, which is basically what I describe as “Reverse Junko Enoshima.” 

Basically someone as smart and manipulative as Junko Enoshima, who can make anybody into their toy, and predict things years in advance and control everything, but instead of using that power to send the world to despair, they use that power to give the world hope instead. Not out of any genuine good will or because they’re a good person, but because they’re obsessed with the idea of giving people happiness the same way Junko is with sending people to despair. 

Kugi is a lot like that. He’s a genius ten year old who sees everybody for their potential to be used, and looks down on absolutely everyone around him. He’s made contact with a magical girl, because he’s pretty clearly planning on using her to enslave the world to him, so he can force everybody to be happy. And it’s absolutely adorable. He’s just such a genuine terrible little person while at the same time wanting to make everyone happy. 

[shima-draws]

FINALLY I WAS ABLE TO FINISH THIS!! I’ve been working on it for over a week now lol

Anyway, meet Kaz and Ginni!! They’re the OCs I’ve been teasing lately and have been really excited about ^p^

They’re both from the Next Generation—so ~25 years after Shima’s main adventure ends. Ginni is the child of the famous Guildmasters Willow and Charon (previously Wendy and Charlie but I changed their names lol), and Kaz is the captain of the Novune Forces, a sort of re-imagined Dark Army (which I might rename to Maligo Army to make better-sounding lmao). Basically after the Dark Army’s fall, a new one rose in its place to take after its original purpose, and Kaz is part of this!

More details about them under the cut!!

Ginni Teire Age: 17 Hair color: Pink Eye color: Blue Element: Combat

Ginni takes after her mother in that she’s very stubborn, cheerful, sociable and also a combat user! She like to spar with her mother and father sometimes to test her skills ^^ She’s not afraid to fight for what she believes in and take action when nobody else will, making her a truly inspiring person capable of moving others c: Ginni’s nonbinary and uses she/her pronouns! She’s fine with either.

Ginni was actually ordered to be captured by the Novune Forces by Kaz, though he actually had no idea who she was, he was just following orders. After being under Kaz’s supervision for about a month and a half Ginni started to pick up signs that despite being a captain Kaz was not treated very well by his superiors, and would often come back from meetings or battles totally bruised and beaten. While all of the people under Kaz’s jurisdiction highly respected him and were honestly a bit terrified of him, Kaz was labeled as someone who could never be good enough or do good enough, and Ginni was tired of seeing him get hurt without him realizing the people who raised him were just exploiting and abusing him. Slowly during the month they spent together Kaz warmed up to Ginni, and started sharing things with her he never shared with anyone else!

Eventually Kaz started to realize that keeping Ginni captive wasn’t right, and that she was becoming weaker due to not seeing the sun or exercising or eating well during her stay with him, so he decides to set her free. And of course, Ginni convinces Kaz to abandon the Forces and come with her :’) Inspired by the idea that he can actually be free and see the world without any repercussions, Kaz decides to take the risk, so he and Ginni escape together and eventually return back to Ginni’s guild!

Some of Ginni’s weaknesses is how easy she gets riled up by things, and she sometimes doesn’t think things through, so she stumbles into trouble pretty often lol. She’s a type that gets offended quickly and takes action immediately. If she doesn’t get her way she tries to make it so, even if it means disobeying orders or hurting other people without meaning to. She’s very determined in that aspect ^^

She loves being outside and seeing the sun, and walking around town and interacting with her friends! She’s actually really close to Vedia and Kyran, and she become very close friends with Kaz too! She treasures him very much uwu

Kaz (Kazuto) Age: 18 Hair color: Orange Eye color: Gray (with rings of blue) Element: Lightning, Metal, Dragon (?)

Kaz, the incomplete experiment…haha! He was taken into the Novune Forces as a young child and has grown up there, so he doesn’t know anything of the outside world or how to act around others. He was simply raised to follow orders and do everything to perfection—maybe as a way to make up for the fact that the experiments done on him to enhance him for the Forces’ purposes never really worked out.

He started as a dual user of just lightning and metal, but the head of the Forces decided to try to make him into a tri user, so they had experiments performed to see if Kaz could awaken within himself a third elemental power :’0 Note that there’s only ONE other tri user in existence and that’s Astraeus, one of the Grandmasters! Unfortunately, the experiments failed and left Kaz with just remnants of a Dragon user’s power in the form of the marking under his eye and the streak in his hair. Eventually he is able to unlock the Dragon’s power because Ginni’s in danger, but his power is very unstable and defective since it’s not “pure” and was something he was injected with, not born with. So usually after using it he goes out of control and passes out immediately afterwards;; while it is extremely powerful it’s also very dangerous and damaging so he doesn’t use it unless he absolutely has to. When he’s in his “dragon mode” he gets little scales on his cheeks and his teeth become sharper (they’re already p sharp to begin with tho haha), and his eyes change color >:3c Kaz also uses two rapiers in battle that he charges with his elemental magic!! A dual user who uses dual weapons hehe~

Due to having parts of dragon elemental magic, his senses are enhanced, as most dragon elementals are as well! His nose is very keen and he can scent things other people normally can’t lol so it’s really helpful. He finds Ginni’s scent to be the most calming thing, because she smells like water lilies and the ocean back home :’)

Kaz didn’t originally have a name when he was part of the Novune Forces—everybody just referred to him as “Captain”. Obviously this made Ginni super upset since they’re all sorta treated like objects there, so she decided to give Kaz his name (Kazuto is his full name, but Ginni rarely ever calls him that, she prefers Kaz!)

Kaz is very very quiet most of the time, and his speech is very formal, so it’s rare to see him talking casually with anyone (besides Ginni, but even that takes a while). He doesn’t emote that often and prefers to keep his emotions bottled up, but Ginni slowly teaches him how to express himself better! He’s a pretty stern character, really no-nonsense, but he does loosen up after escaping. He doesn’t have a lot of anxiety over his superiors treatment of him because to him it’s normal, something that everyone in the Forces goes through, so he thinks if he makes mistakes he’s well deserving of punishment for them. He’s completely devoted to the Forces’ cause—until Ginni barrels in and ruins everything he ever worked for lmao

Kaz cares about Ginni a LOT. More than anybody else. He would put his life on the line for her in an instant, and doesn’t care about what happens to him as long as Ginni is safe. She’s pretty much his savior and the reason he’s able to actually live, so he feels like he owes her everything. He isn’t really comfortable around anyone else besides Ginni (and one of his subordinates, but their relationship is a bit rocky and strange). Kaz would rather die than do anything to upset Ginni or threaten their friendship;; Eventually he falls in love with her but it’s very confusing and frustrating because he doesn’t understand his feelings that well, having been taught to ignore his emotions for most of his life, so it’s a rough time lol. But once he realizes it he uses that knowledge to become stronger and protect Ginni with everything he’s got!! He’s really bad with romance tho lmao he gets flustered super easily whenever Ginni does something alluring and trips over himself trying to please her on occasion. He’s very dumb in the romance department but he tries :’D

Since Kaz grew up pretty much ignorant of everything else he can be really insensitive at times and offend others without realizing. He’s also fairly clueless about the world outside, so he finds fascination even in the smallest things! He’s also really really intelligent. Not when it comes to social interaction he fails fantastically at that, he’s really awkward around others lol but anything else goes! He’s very fond of reading and learning new things whenever he can, so being in the outside world is like a treat to him ^^

AND A BONUS I DOODLED:

SO YEAH THOSE ARE MY TWO NEW KIDS I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH. I’m very weak for their height difference. Ginni’s the first non-binary character I’ve designed and also the first to get super pastel colors so designing her was REALLY fun!! And Kaz too, he’s my baby, I would die for him //shakes fists

FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ASKS ABOUT THEM, I’M DYING TO CHAT ABOUT THEM!!

[jbuffyangel]

A Better Future: Arrow 7x15 Review (Training Day)

Look out for Episode 7x15!!! She came out dancing like, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” 

There are so many goodies I don’t know where to start. Well, obviously I know where to start. We’re going to obsess over every detail.  But first, I must ask if anyone survived the 7x16 promo? Cause I didn’t. This is Ghost Jen.

Let’s dig in….

Olicity

This pregnancy is waaaaaaay more fun now that Oliver knows. Seriously this episode is straight out of fanfiction.

Oliver mostly just wants to feed Felicity things I can’t even pronounce. 

What the heck is a tartine and who sautés broccolini? You know what? I don’t even care. Oliver can cook whatever he wants as long as he’s naked. Yes, those are the marital provisions. You may turn to page 21 in the marriage contract if you need proof. It’s in bold.

Source:   olicitygifs

See guys? We’re not the only ones quietly unnerved by fully-realized-Jesus-like-superhero Oliver. He’s giving Felicity the wiggins too. 

When was the last time Oliver took orders from anyone? Nope. You can’t say Felicity. She’s the wifey and pregnant. I feel extremely confident if she asked Oliver to nuke a country he’d do it and then roast her a turkey over the fires of destruction.

Oliver is going the extra mile with the SCPD because he wants the partnership to be legitimate for “our baby.”  

Is there anything sexier than Oliver talking about the incubating human he put in his wife? NOPE THERE IS NOT. 

First time I died. Yes, we’re numbering it.

Immediately, Oliver mentions William and his reasoning for listening to the SCPD’s buffoon orders is understandable. 

Oliver missed out on ten years of William’s life and being a vigilante hasn’t made their present day relationship any easier. Re: William got the hell out of dodge and is living with the most evil grandparents in the world. Come on. We know they are kinda evil. WHO ERASES A FATHER’S PHONE MESSAGE? At the very least they are hyper helicopter grandparents, which is a hop, skip and a jump away from Evil Town.

Oliver is extremely glass half full right now. 

I guess this is what happens when THE PRINCESS THAT WAS PROMISED is about to arrive. I love Felicity’s mildly exasperated expression as Oliver’s waxes poetically about this partnership. Listen girl, you turned him into this big pile of mushy rainbows. Not us.

Source: olicitygifs

Does anyone else scream, “SPOILER ALERT: EVERYTHING IS AWFUL IN THE FUTURE!!!” every time Oliver talks about making the city safe for their children, so they can live in Star City and be happy? No? Just me? The dude deserves a heads up. The writers sure aren’t giving him one. It’s like salt in an open wound whenever Oliver dreams of Star City becoming Disney World 2.0. WRONG SHOW OLIVER. 

This is the show where the writers bludgeon us with misery and only give us joyful moments as a brief respite from our pain and sorrow.  

Too bitter?

Felicity gets on board with the glass half full approach because ain’t nothing cuter than her man being all sunshine and rainbows.

  Source: olicitygifs 

After all, they are a team within and team. Then comes all the smooching and we’re only in the first 5 minutes. Second time I died.

Oliver totally looked at Felicity’s stomach when she said she didn’t want anyone knowing about what’s happening “in here” and his little amused smile was so much I cannot.

Felicity’s right about mum’s the word and not because they are vigilantes, although that is a thing. It’s best to wait until the first trimester is over before making any big announcements.  

Source:  oliverxfelicity

Oliver agrees, Felicity actually says, “Yay,” and then asks him to make her a tartine.

Source: smoakmonster

Starving and nausea sum up my first trimester too, girl. Third time I died.

Felicity pregnant ratchets up her adorable factor by at least 80%. 

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

This woman breathes and I’m like

I also love how Oliver is the only person who knows why her rambling is so extra and reels her in. Team within a team is damn right.  

The SCPD pours out Oliver’s half full glass because they are annoying and stupid. The team needs to adhere to protocol or else. Ugh why do we have to listen to the cops? They don’t have cool toys.

Felicity convinces Oliver they simply need to show the SCPD the Team Arrow way and they’ll stop with all the red-tape-need-actual-evidence-court-of-law nonsense.

It sounds good, particularly coming from Felicity. I’m at the same point as Oliver. I think this woman could tell me the sky is purple and I’d rock some “Purple Rain.”

If Arrow wants do a show where Oliver cooks for Felicity while she shares all her pregnancy symptoms as they smooch and be adorable in their little incubating love nest I would be completely fine with that because it's Emmy award winning television.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Why does the show have to be over? It’s perfect. Fourth time I died.

Olicity continues with their team within a team approach and decide to bring James Midas in on their own. They do it the old fashioned way. (HAHAHA that sounds dirty. Sorry. I’m a 10 year old trapped in a 37 year old body.) Oliver goes full on growly, burly man in leather and threatens to melt Midas’ face off in a tub of hydrofluoric acid. Stephen Amell’s facial reactions are hysterical. Oliver is almost bored like, “Come on, come on, I have tartines to make and a baby to name.” 

Source: @smoacs

Felicity records the confession while complaining about people like me who don’t click update. I’m perfectly fine with bae owning my ass. Fifth time I died.

But the mayor cuts Midas loose because his confession was coerced. Is that a thing we care about on Arrow now? I guess we’re doing the whole Miranda rights, due process, warrants, evidence, chain of custody thing. Huh. So… how’d they prosecute all the other criminals for the last seven years? 

I’m also willing to venture the mayor is slightly evil if she’s big buddies with a guy like Midas. WHO FUNDED HER CAMPAIGN?

Uncle Diggle is wondering why his OTP is going rogue, so he swings by for a little chat. His Yoda senses are on high alert. 

This is why they had to make Diggle normal again. Pod Diggle would never suss out an Olicity pregnancy. I love how Oliver and Felicity are all, “WE AREN’T TELLING ANYONE,” and then Diggle shows up, asks one question, and they fold. 

You can’t lie to Yoda. Thems the rules.

Diggle ships this ship harder than anybody else. He practically willed this child into existence. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

It’s possible he’s more excited than Oliver when Felicity tells him the news. The “we’re having a baby” absolutely includes John Thomas Diggle too.  Sixth time I died.

We have to go over this moment in particular because @lyricalarrow​ mentioned it in a tweet and I cracked up because it is so true.

Where is the lie? Oliver looks at the ground, crosses his arms, and shuffles his feet whenever he feels shy or bashful.  It’s like he’s a little embarrassed Diggle knows they have sex.

Meanwhile, the hot little mama over there with her hip wiggle is more than comfortable letting Diggle know his boy knocked her up. Hilarious perfection.

Honestly, I understand Oliver’s reaction here because I felt the same telling my parents I was pregnant. They high fived, but I was a little embarrassed there was physical evidence of my sexual activity with my husband. It’s cool. I feel confident they decided my daughter was the Immaculate Conception. Everyone is very comfortable with that story.

This announcement also leads to Diggle’s rapid understanding of why Oliver and Felicity are acting like they are on a clock, because THEY ARE ON A CLOCK. Their child will be born into Disney World come hell or high water. THY NAME IS OLICITY AND THY WILL BE DONE!

Like I said, it sounds good on paper, but Diggle comes prepared with logic. Oliver and Felicity understandably have baby on the brain, but they aren’t thinking their rogue plan through. It’ll work for a little while, but then Oliver will land in Slabside again. Yeah, I don’t want to go back to Slabside. I want to keep doing all the baby stuff. Whatever keeps us doing the baby stuff is the plan I favor.

The truth is if the Team Arrow way worked 100% then Star City would be saved. Same goes for the SCPD. Yes, let us casually ignore the writers will not allow the city to be saved until the final episode because that’s just details. What needs to happen is a combo approach. Ya know like an actual partnership.

Diggle: You have to find a way to make it work. Comprise. Do whatever you have to do because if you want a new future for this baby of yours it won’t come by doing the same thing we used to do. We have to be something else. Something better.

Is this the first time Diggle has said the, “Be something else” line?” I feel like it is. If so, it’s a momentous occasion. Every part of the OTA trio has officially given a “Be Something Else” speech. Jeez, this show really is ending isn’t it?

After saving the day while working in partnership with the SCPD, Team Arrow reconvenes in their home away from home. BUNKER IS BACK BABY!!!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness. I am so sick of the police department. It lacks flair. 

The team wants to grab a beer to celebrate, which feels like the first time this suggestion has ever happened other than Diggle and Oliver tossing back some vodka or scotch. What’s with all the alcohol? Cause Felicity is pregnant, and these writers want to create as many situations as possible where it can be referenced. 

I honestly think Oliver just went to the bar to keep the cover. Cue super sweet winking. 

Source: lucyyh

Seventh time I died.

Diggle isn’t done being amazing. I MISSED HIM SO MUCH Y’ALL.  He brings Felicity ginger candies to help with the morning sickness. In my fic “Broken Pieces” it was saltine crackers. Seriously, how many of us have written fics where A) Diggle figures out Felicity is pregnant and B) he helps her with the morning sickness because he learned a few things while Lyla was pregnant?

Yeah that’s what I thought. Nobody gets to tell me this episode isn’t straight out Olicity Ficville. I. LOVE. IT. Eighth time I died.

He also stokes the Smoak Tech fires by complimenting Felicity on her technology and generally being a total bad ass while pregnant. 

SEE? SHE CAN DO BOTH PEOPLE. 

Hold up. Rewind. Is that my girl shading Curtis Holt?

HAHAHA! YES IT IS!!!!!!!!!!! THIS EPISODE IS AMAZING!!!!!

We know this DNA security program she’s developed is what eventually becomes the Archer program, so I am very curious to see how it gets up and running. 

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

I think one word from Diggle is all it’s going to take.

FELICITY ASKED OLIVER IF SHE’S SHOWING. THE WRITERS HAVE KILLED ME DEAD EIGHT TIMES ALREADY? WHAT IF I ONLY HAVE NINE LIVES? MAYBE I’M REALLY A CAT!!!!! 

Source: olicitygifs

Honestly, they’ve nailed the first trimester: nausea, starvation, exhaustion, and wondering if you’re showing when you are absolutely nowhere near showing. Ninth time I died.

And then… Felicity wants to talk baby names. Cue hyperventilation. 

Yeah yeah yeah I know we know the baby’s name BUT THEY ARE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT GUYS. That’s a whole other thing. 

Oliver had names picked out pretty much since this moment. 

This is the face of man naming his babies while staring at his future baby mama.

So, I’m really excited Felicity broached the subject first. She’s been dreaming about little Olivers and Felicities too. She’s just been a little calmer about it instead of My Face Is My Feelings over here. 

I am still a firm believer in triplets because it gives us more name permutations, but whatever the writers didn’t listen to me and I won’t get greedy. So here we go. It isn’t going to be a boy so Felicity can name the boy whatever she wants.

LUCAS? SHE PICKED LUCAS? 

Why not Tommy or Robert or the plethora of other dead male characters on this show? Lucas is a fine name I guess. Makes me think of Lucas from One Tree Hill, which is equally awful and wonderful. (His character was a mess. Don’t blame me for Lucas Scott being a mess.) Or Luke Skywalker who is also equally a mess. My husband’s cousin is named Luke. He’s an awesome guy. Lucas works. Okay. Lucas. Do we call him Luke? I like Luke.

What say you Twitter?

OH MY GOSH I LOVE LUCAS SO MUCH.  Tenth time I died.

P.S.: This is why you don’t tell people your names until after the kid is born and you slapped it on the birth certificate.

Source: olicitygifs

Oliver immediately signs off on Lucas (re: see nuclear bomb analogy). Hell, if Felicity wanted to name the kid Malcolm, Slade, The Demon’s Head, Damien, Adrian or Ricardo I think he’d still sign off.  He might even go for Al Sah-him Jr. The boy is gone okay? Oliver made a baby with his woman and life is amazing. Eleventh time I died.

I love how Oliver tries to pretend like he just thought of a name for a baby girl.

Boy, you’ve been spinning out names in that brain of yours every night while you sharpen your arrows. You fool no one sir.

There’s a significant pause before Oliver says the name. He has given this a lot of thought. When he speaks again it’s in the same sweet, gentle and quiet tone he uses for Felicity. Since the beginning, Oliver has instinctively softened his voice around Felicity. It was a way to reassure her; to show she is always safe with him. 

But his rage and pain are tempered now. The edges have been softened after seven years of loving this one woman.  

Yet, this voice remains almost like a whisper because of how much Oliver feels and the depth he loves. It’s almost overwhelming. 

This voice is Oliver at his most earnest and vulnerable. 

This is the Oliver only Felicity gets to see. 

He’s better at talking about his emotions now. It’s taking a lot of practice and learning, but the voice remains the same. This is how Oliver Queen speaks when the words matter the most.  

His special Felicity’s voice is also his special Mia voice.  Twelfth time I died.

DID I SAY HER NAME WAS MOIRA? .

YES I DID. Thirteenth time I died.

Felicity’s reaction is perfection because Moira is a slightly controversial choice given her relationship with Oliver’s mother and he knows that.  

Sweet and fiery describes all the important women in Oliver’s life- the ones he’s loved the most. These women love deeply and fight fiercely. 

Moira

Thea

Felicity

Mia

It describes Oliver as well. There is a gentle bear 

underneath the raging bull. 

This girl is Smoak, Kuttler, Dearden and Queen. And she’s amazing. 

Oliver and Felicity’s baby girl seems destined to become a hero in her own right. Someday Oliver and Felicity will make a better and safer Star City for their children. Maybe they’ll save the city with their children.

Source: olicitygifs

Fifteenth time I died. We haven’t even gotten to the promo yet. Probably not a cat, so I’m totally screwed.

Flash Forward

QUEEN SIBLING TEAM UP!!! Did anyone get major Bratva vibes during these scenes? I sure did. It’s in the blood kids! 

Mia and William make the perfect team because they are (seemingly) opposites, but underneath the surface have a lot in common. RING ANY BELLS?

It doesn’t hurt they are basically the familial and platonic reverse of Oliver (Mia) and Felicity (William). Mia is the bad ass from the streets and William is the computer wizard with a whole lotta money. But William is a fighter as well and Mia is extremely smart. Time for some sibling bonding.

They are in search of the mini cassette player, so they can listen to Felicity’s messages. Mia tells William to stay put, but of course he doesn’t listen. Pro tip Mia: The elder sibling will never listen to you even when they should listen to you. Curse of being the youngest. Get used to it.

William procures a mini cassette player after haggling over price. Five hundred dollars??? I’m seriously going to look in the garage for one of those things. In twenty years it might make some bank. Unfortunately, William is scammed like Mia warned and he loses the tape. His plan for getting the tape back, however, works and Mia knocks the lights out of the guy who scammed her brother. I love these two so much. They are sibling perfection.

There’s a lot of mutual appreciation. Mia realizes her brother is a genius aka Mini Felicity and William realizes his sister is Mini Oliver. 

It’s a really beautiful moment as William stares at her because it’s been about twenty years since he’s seen his father. She is the closest William has been to Oliver and vice versus.  

But Mia thinking “You have failed this city” is a dumb will never not be funny.

Source:  oliverxfelicity

It’s difficult for William to hit play on the cassette because it’s been 20 years since he’s heard Felicity’s voice and there’s a fair amount of apprehension about what she’s going to say. 

Source:  feilcityqueen

Mia gives William the strength to hit play.  It reminded so much of all the times Oliver and Felicity gently and lovingly supported each other simply by touching hands, particularly in the beginning of the burgeoning partnership and friendship.

Oliver refused to show any feeling while Felicity wore her heart on her sleeve. They took all the best parts of this beloved couple and put them in their children.

Hearing Felicity’s voice in the flash forwards made me cry and I just need her in this timeline already. She spent twenty years avoiding ever saying William and Mia’s names in the same sentence. 

You don’t keep your two precious jewels in the same location. I think it’s safe to say this is the strategy Oliver and Felicity were using.

Are there plot holes with the whole William side of things? Sure. It wasn’t a secret he was Oliver’s son. The kid was photographed. You can easily find out his last name is Clayton and his grandparents aren’t exactly living off the radar. Arrow is either going to have an answer for all these little factoids or they’re gonna blow right past them and leave them in Plot Hole Land.  

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

But the bigger picture is Oliver and Felicity kept their children apart for a reason. I found it very interesting Felicity said this was a decision they made together. So whatever separation is coming, it was as much Oliver’s choice as it was Felicity’s.

She reads off some coordinates and orders the children not to look for her, which they promptly ignore. I loved Oliver and Thea’s relationship, but I am enjoying Mia and William’s even more. There’s a humor and banter that was missing between Oliver and Thea. Sure, there was the occasional teasing, but it was mostly fighting or crying with the original Queen siblings. It’s fine. It’s what the situations called for and Stephen and Willa acted the hell out of those scenes. It feels like the writers are trying to have more fun with William and Thea. They banter really showcases each actors’ comedic talent too, particularly Ben Lewis.  

Mia recognizes the coordinates because it’s inside The Glades. Katherine McNamara tweeted out the perfect reaction because Mia’s tone is very “The North Remembers.”  So winter is here friends and we’re going over the wall!

The mere existence of these children is a promise for a better future.  I am choosing to remain optimistic about what Oliver and Felicity said. A hero’s journey has to start somewhere. William and Mia’s first act of heroism may very well be saving their parents.

Source: olicitygifs

Team Arrow

Team Arrow being bored to tears and wiping the floor with the SCPD is the realest this show has ever been. 

Oliver body slams a fellow officer as a way of “defusing the situation.” Rene puts a gun together at lightning speed and Felicity looks so bored with the tech she’s about to smash her head into a computer.

A significant reason Star City is a crappy place to live is because the police aren’t putting up a strong line of defense. The SCPD’s antiquated procedures hindering the capturing of criminals shocks no one. If things worked at the police department the city wouldn’t need Oliver Queen, his team of bandits, and all their amazing toys. I’ve put up with this Oliver as a police officer for several episodes now, but I draw the line at no suit and no arrows. Screw that. 

Dinah is full speed ahead on being captain and draws a hard line in the sand with the team, which of course proves to be disastrous. The reason she is all in on Captain Drake is because she lost her cry and doesn’t feel she can be Bl*ck C*nary anymore. When did the C*nary Cry become a prerequisite? 

Sara never had one and we were well into Season 3 before Cisco put that choker around L*urel’s neck. Relax Dinah.

Rene gets in Dinah’s face and defends Oliver because she’s being a b-i-t-c-h. 

DID Y’ALL HEAR THAT? RENE DEFENDED OLIVER!!!!! Rene being tolerable, logical and borderline likable is almost as shocking as Zen Oliver.

Oliver apologizes for going rogue. He always apologizes first. We’re taking baby steps with the Newbies. Not everything can get better all at once. Patience. But then DINAH ALSO APOLOGIZES and she acknowledges she was way too hard on Oliver. Umm… hooray! But for real what is happening to this show right now? Everything is amazing.

Oliver FINALLY tells the team to “suit up” and I realized how long it’s been since he’s been the one to say it. The joy of Curtis Holt being gone will never abate. Speaking of Curtis, it feels like a massive difference now that the team is back to four in the field and Felicity in the bunker as Overwatch. God, I missed Overwatch. The trimming of Team Arrow was a smart move for many reasons and I think a five member team is the max capacity this show can handle. Dropping Curtis like the dead weight he is was a fantastic move.

Since Team Arrow is all about the legal now, Felicity hacks whatever SCPD has access to (they aren’t completely in the Stone Age) and it’s all admissible in court. The rest of the team secures evidence and arrests in partnership with the police, which mostly looks like the SCPD rolling in after Team Arrow has done all the work. I don’t really understand how the criminals Team Arrow captured were prosecuted before all this, but whatever. 

I’m just happy the team is back in the bunker with their suits, they are the official black ops of the police department, and the mayor is repealing that stupid anti vigilante law. HELLO MY SHOW I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Bl*ck S*ren and Emiko

The “Training Day” writers didn’t check off everything on my wish list. They were close, but unfortunately BS did not kill Diaz. I still think it would’ve been awesome, but it’s okay. You win some and you lose some. I think it’s safe to say our fandom is winning just plenty.

Ben Turner aka Bronze Tiger witnessed Diaz’s murder while he was in solitary and it was someone wearing the Green Arrow suit, which means Emiko. In exchange for this information BS allows Turner to see his son – Connor, his “little hawk.” 

I already love this backstory so much more than the one Connor had on the Legends of Tomorrow episode. Connor being Lyla and Diggle’s adopted son makes more sense to me than JJ taking on the random name of Connor Hawke. 

BS confronts Emiko and the whole conversation is hysterical hypocrisy.

Bl*ck S*ren:  You’re lying about who you really are. You’re not a hero.  

STEAL ANYONE’S IDENTITY LATELY L*UREL? I can never decide if the writers are blatantly obtuse in regards to L*urel’s character (any version) or if this is somehow a tongue and cheek/wink wink kind of thing. 

It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is I’m fairly certain BS just got Ben Turner killed. 

It’s not going to take Emiko and Dante very long to figure out how L*urel came upon this information. 

Holy hell lady. Keep your trap shut while you investigate someone. Didn’t you learn anything in law school? OH WAIT THAT’S RIGHT YOU DIDN’T GO!

Since Turner saved Lyla’s life once I believe they’ll adopt Connor as a way of paying it forward. They also can’t let a kid that adorable go. I just want to smush his face.

This also makes Felicity pickle in the middle. Oliver will of course believe Emiko over Bl*ck S*ren and Felicity will have to choose between the two. I’m actually way more interested in seeing how Felicity reacts than I am anything else, so once again BS services her storyline. Suits me just fine.

THE PROMO

I was sick on Monday (hence the delayed review), so my husband didn’t wake me up for Arrow. The nerve of him, I know. So, when I started watching I was about 40 minutes behind and @callistawolf​ told me to call her after because she was hyperventilating. I was very careful while tweeting not to read any other  tweets. So, when Mia said they were going over the wall I thought, “Calm down Cal. It’s not that big of a deal – HOLY SHIT IS THAT A LOVE CABIN?”

THE. PROMO. KILLED. ME. The other fifteen times brought me to the edge and the promo shoved me off the cliff.  Don’t mourn for me my friends. I had a good life and it was a good death.

This promo is proof the CW can actually put together great marketing for this show. They just choose not to 99.99% of the time, but at least 7x16 can join the truly great promos of 3x01, 3x20, 4x01 and 5x20.

We hear Felicity screaming as the camera pushes in on the cabin and down the hallway into the bedroom where she is delivering their child. The first image we see of Oliver and Felicity is their hands. Oliver is holding on tight as his wife struggles through labor.

Source: olicitygifs

I remember when I used to hyperventilate over a mere shoulder or hand touch.

Oliver and Felicity’s romance started in the quiet moments. 

Their love was in the details. 

This image of them holding hands, Felicity’s wedding ring brightly shining in the sun, as she brings Mia into this world is a powerful symbol of where their story began and what their love created.

The reason we wear wedding rings is because they are an endless circles. The commitment we are making with our spouse is forever.  We wear our ring on our fourth finger of our left hand because the Romans believed the vein in this finger lead directly to a person’s heart. Love is eternal. The focus on Felicity’s ring, her hand gripping tightly in Oliver’s, symbolizes Mia entering this endless loop of love where she will always be wanted, adored and safe.

Source: sansasnw 

Of course, Oliver and Felicity’s child is born in the bright sunshine of morning. We would expect nothing less. It’s always the light. This child is a new beginning for Oliver and Felicity.  A new life who can harness her parent’s light and shine her own upon all she loves.  I get emotional when I think about where Oliver’s story began. He was a lost soul who believed life was merely about survival and he didn't deserve one worth living for. And now…

Source:  olicitygifs

I’m sobbing at the promo y’all. I won’t make it through the episode. 

As for this moment...

This is my head canon until the show tells me different.

Source: olicitygifs

Stray Thoughts

Why does Bl*ck S*ren think Oliver and Felicity will be mad Emiko killed Diaz? Nobody is crying over that guy cutie. Oliver and Felicity came to my smore party. They brought the chocolate.

Mia couldn’t put the tape in. I’m still laughing. Katherine McNamara’s comedic timing is gold.

“This is private. Loophole.” Felicity being the most irritated she can’t do things illegally is so on brand.

Mini cassettes were around in the nineties too. Can we stop with the super aging of things, show?

I love Face/Off. Classic Travolta vs. Cage.

We haven't done a good old fashion gang war. After 7 years in a crime fighting show that feels a little odd.

Oliver and Felicity have their baby in a love cabin and many believe it is Ravenspure, which is the cabin Felicity was conceived in. I truly do not remember this detail from Season 4, but I know better than to question my peeps.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x15 gifs credited.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

[timeshuffles]

EVEN MORE thoughts on elsa’s magic

( first post here, second post here )

i’ve touched on this before but: elsa’s magic is alive, and existed before she did and will continue to exist independent of her after she is gone. how she ended up with it is largely a matter of coincidental timing with her having been born at just the right time for the magic to... “adopt” her is the best way to phrase it, i think. it’s its Own Thing but it has also made itself intrinsically part of her and that connection cannot be broken, ever, by any means, until she dies. ( see here for the fancy ~mythological~ version of that. )

as for WHY it did this, by itself the magic... it’s alive, but it’s also essentially just a disconnected Id—it’s wild and unrestrained, but lacking the force of will and executive processes required to meet its impulses in a satisfactory way. by itself, it can’t do much beyond storming endlessly in the void—unrestrained and free but also unnoticed, uncared for, and completely alone. “adopting” a human in the way that it adopted elsa means sacrificing a little freedom in exchange for a... host? with willpower and imagination and feelings that can shape the magic into something far greater. 

so.

what this means for elsa is that the magic is content to subordinate itself to her will, if and only if she lets it out and Does Things with it. in this sense she doesn’t and will never have absolute control over it, because Not Using It simply is not an option. assuming favorable weather (ambient temperatures below ~5°C), she can hold it in completely for about two days without issue; after that, it gets restless. and no matter how hard she tries to suppress it, it will eventually tear free. ( see: the coronation. )

( if it’s warmer than about 5° she pretty much has to let it out at least enough to ice over her skin and chill the air around her, or else she’ll overheat because her resting body temp is roughly freezing. why? because she spent twelve years of her life trying to suppress the magic and it changed her, gradually, over the course of those twelve years, until arriving at a point where her body is so cold that she needs her magic to thermoregulate effectively. )

ideally, the magic wants to be doing Big, Impressive, Difficult things, and it wants to do them in such a way that it is Noticed and Admired or Feared. and it cares about elsa and wants her to cherish it in return. all the stuff that happens during let it go? bringing a snowman to life, the gravity-defying bridge, the raising of a giant ice palace balanced precariously on the edge of a cliff? or the teaser for frozen 2 that’s just 50% Elsa Fights The Sea? that’s the sort of thing the magic really wants to be doing, all the time. and if elsa doesn’t oblige in giving it that sort of thing to do often enough it just kinda defaults to iM bOrEd LeT’s fReEzE aReNDeLLe —

so after the coronation disaster is resolved and all the fallout of that is dealt with elsa’s biggest challenge vis a vis her magic is really finding the right balance between the times when, for political or safety reasons, she really needs to hold it in, and the sort of casual/mundane everyday use required to prevent it from fighting her, and the bigger, grander exercises it needs to be happy.

( the other big challenge for her is learning to wrangle her emotions in a healthy way, because her magic is highly reactive to her feelings. but that’s less about controlling the magic itself than about just Being A Healthy Person. ) 

& an assortment of other, less organized thoughts too: 

she talks to it. a lot when she’s alone, and occasionally muttering at it under her breath if it really acts up when she’s in public. likewise she uses a lot of gestures / physical movement to conduct her magic. both are things that she doesn’t, strictly speaking, need to do, but it makes it easier for her to communicate to her magic precisely what she wants. 

for skin-to-skin contact with other people she needs to freeze her skin first. basically just. covering any skin that will be touched by the other person in a thin, protective coating of ice. 

this ice doesn’t melt, and being magical ice it is supple and moves with her skin, and it feels... weird. to her. if you’ve ever had glue dry on your skin it’s basically like that. so it’s something she avoids doing unless it’s necessary. 

because of that, & because having a normal person touch her actual bare skin will legitimately burn her (see thoughts post #1 re: normal people are three times her body temperature), elsa is extremely particular about people not touching her without permission. 

and if she’s going to be in a situation where she’s touching people a lot, she’ll be in long sleeves and gloves for it. just easier that way.

she pretty much always has frost creeping over her skin, and often goes around in her own little spiral of cold breezes and sometimes snow. on especially warm days her clothes will frost over as well. only exceptions are 1) if the ambient temperature is below freezing, or 2) if for diplomatic reasons she really needs to avoid any visual reminders of I Could Bury Your Entire Country In Snow With A Snap Of My Fingers for a while.

the frost is different from the ice coating discussed above in that it’s pretty much just normal ice (ie: will melt on contact with, say, a warm hand), and it isn’t a solid barrier — it’s basically just her version of sweating. 

natural storms make her magic really antsy, and the bigger they are the more pronounced this will be. storms during the winter and storms that take place at night during new moons have an especially powerful influence. this in turn makes elsa... sort of cranky, and can really wear her out if it turns into a battle of the magic wanting to go outside and play with (read: intensify) the storm vs elsa Not Doing That. 

eventually she starts dealing with storms by excusing herself at the first opportunity and slipping off to the mountains where the magic can do its thing without hurting anybody

she can create gales strong and fast enough to carry her around. she does this by accident during the coronation disaster — it’s how she gets to the summit of the north mountain in a single night, her magic basically just picks her up and throws her there — but it takes a ton of trial and error and practice afterwards before she’s able to do it in an intentional, controlled way

( she’s very insistent that this is Not Flying. it’s totally flying. )

this is also something that her magic does To her if she fights it while it’s agitated, kinda just... tossing her around the room. big winter storms can get her magic to that point if she refuses to at least walk around outside, and it happened a lot during her teen years bc of how forcefully she was suppressing her magic by then.

after Numerous attempts to figure out the correct configuration of clothing and tack required to ride a horse without being uncomfortably hot at best or getting burned at worst, she just gives up and makes herself an ice horse. his name is røkkr. 

[leoharted-blog]

Squall’s manners is honestly as “mean” as he’ll get. Personally if someone doesn’t want to socialize I wouldn’t consider it mean, I just see it as someone minding their own space and taking ownership of it and just you know let them do their thing but I can ALSO understand why it can be considered as something mean, more rude than anything else. Like I’ve mentioned before Squall wouldn’t deliberately go out of his way to pick on someone or consciously harm their self-esteem because there’s no gain from it lets be real here. All the boy wants is his space, his comfort zone. His mindset is that everybody’s bound to leave, everybody does, and everyone will, there’s no exception to that --- he sees it as a universal law so to spare himself the hardships that follow from getting attached to another and then having to cope with their loss he simply doesn’t let that be an option for him. Alone is best, or so he thinks. That he does it to an extreme, yes that is true, but again he’s not joking around when he makes it obvious that this is how he thinks and that’s how it’ll stay so without a doubt when someone comes along to challenge that of course there’s going to be bouts of defensiveness it’s only human nature to get defensive when your universal view of things get challenged (that’s how people get offended after all). It’s to be human, a normal reaction. His defenses spike so he does get snappy a bit, but not in the way it has been embraced over the years. I’ll use his discussion with Quistis as a perfect example of what I mean along with subtle details to tag along after that. 

It’s after the dance and she requires audience with him in after hours of the night where she finds the need to unwind, to vent, to let something pent up in her out (not going into detail just going to give the general gist). When asked to be in her company he’s curious, he wonders, and after a suspicion of his turns out not to be true he agrees to tag along. She begins to let out steam, to let out what has her bothered, and when she does his initial response is what does she want him to do about it, or why did she choose him to let that out to. That he doesn’t need to know, it isn’t his problem, everybody’s to take care of themselves and themselves alone; again Squall isn’t very quiet about how he thinks, he’s very vocal about it hence why Quistis would often say she’s understanding him a bit better over the course of the time she does manage to spend time with him. She tells him she doesn’t need him to do anything, she just wants him to listen, and then his signature quote: Go talk to a wall. I feel like that quote was just blown out of proportion as the years went on --- he didn’t say it to be a smartass, he didn’t say it to be mean, if anything he said it without any irony whatsoever. All she wanted was for someone to listen, so he felt like she might as well just talk to anything else that would be less responsive if that’s all what she wanted. He did tell her that he didn’t want anybody else’s burdens on him, because again remember that Squall’s a very huge critical thinker, so having someone else’s issues be put on him would also mean that it’ll occupy his mind space to someone else that isn’t him, so specks of concern for this person since he has an idea of what’s going on. So he just completely cuts out that possibility even. It’d allow entryway for knowledge of someone else’s state of being which he translates to some closeness. It’s why he cuts her off so rashly in such a heartless manner. And in no way is Quistis in the wrong here for being hurt, perhaps even mad over it, because after he leaves she expresses that perhaps everybody else around her was right.

Like I said in the beginning of this post if anything his manners are as “mean” as he’ll get. Sometimes he won’t even engage in conversation unless he absolutely has to and it’s required of him to do so, and when it does he only says the most minimal things to get the point across. Want to shake his hand? Chances are he isn’t going to want to shake it and will just either stare at it or look the other way. He’s complex, definitely complex, but he doesn’t make it a total mystery as to why. Yes he doesn’t go into detail of the why, but he does express very often what his mentality of things concerning these specific matters are and doesn’t shy away from it if its challenged by another so a clash is only bound to take place. It’s a process of acceptance he has to go through first.

[coolseanobuseng]

New Post has been published on https://legitlover.com/why-do-guys-distance-themselves-after-intimacy-8-common-reasons/

Why Do Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy? 8 Common Reasons

Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy, 8 common reasons. The million-dollar question every woman wants answered.

1. He no longer feels the rush of the initial chase (he got what he wanted)

Men like going after ladies for a few factors. It assists them determine how much they actually like a woman. Plus, they enjoy competitiveness, flirting and playing games is enjoyable for them, and it’s excellent for their ego.

They like the sensation of winning a woman’s heart over other men and knowing a woman fell for them by making love with her. That’s when the rush sometimes stops.

It does not always indicate he’s not into you, it’s just that he showed something to himself and the preliminary enjoyment has waned.

Nevertheless, some guys lose interest completely after reaching their goal. That just indicates he was never ever the one for you.

When a guy is attracted to you it’s natural he believes mainly about sex. Essentially, he invests his energy and time in keeping you amused and seducing you.

Knowingly or subconsciously he expects something (which is sex) in return. When he gets what he wants, his curiosity is satisfied.

This is the reason why it’s crucial to play the game a little bit longer and make him wait, slowly fall in love with you, and become thinking about things besides sex.

That’s what’s going to make him want something more severe and long term.

For things to become more serious, he needs to know you as a person and like you. If you challenge him, chances are he will understand you’re worth the work he’s putting in.

Letting him know that making love is something you deem unique is going to make the entire thing even more remarkable.

2. He doesn’t desire a long term relationship

It’s important to comprehend the distinction between physical and non-physical attraction.

Physical attraction is what men or women feel for the opposite sex based purely on physical attraction.

Non-physical tourist attraction is a destination to personality and all the important things that do not consist of the body and physical qualities.

Believe it or not, guys are interested in the non-physical side of things just like females, but what’s different is their view on sex. Let me discuss.

When a lady is interested in a guy on a non-physical level, possibilities are she will be physically interested too and wish to sleep with him.

On the other hand, when she’s shut off by a person’s personality– although he’s hot– she most likely will not sleep with the man.

It’s not the same for men. It’s typical for guys to sleep with females they’re physically drawn in to whether they are non-physically attracted to them or not.

In other words: a guy distances himself because he’s only thinking about sex and when he gets it there’s nothing to make him remain.

If he does not like the girl’s character enough, he does not think about a long term relationship. This might harm but it’s a possible answer to the concern “why do guys distance themselves after intimacy?8 common reasons”.

3. He never intended on sleeping with you more than once

This ties with the previous factor. He only wanted a one-night stand. How can you know this in advance?

Look for the clues in his text messages, social networks posts, and the important things he says.

What does he talk about? Does he discuss sex on a first date? Some other things you should pay attention to are: if he’s inspecting other girls out when he thinks you’re not looking, whether he really listens to what you’re saying, if he calls you on very late dates, and how he acts after you’ve had sex for the first time.

This one harms, but sometimes, guys are particularly searching for a connection and absolutely nothing more.

Of course, the ideal thing to do would be to tell you this upfront, however this might suggest no sex. That’s how you understand the man’s a player.

4. You’re moving too fast

It’s possible that you’re moving too quickly for him. If you invested the night together and the next morning you cook him breakfast and start planning your weekend together– that may frighten him away. Slow down and wait till you know each other a bit better. In some cases it takes longer for males to fall in love or confess to themselves they’re in love.

If you’ve just been together for only a short time period, you may not have actually invested sufficient time together to make decisions that will affect your everyday life.

Wait till you know each other much better to make decisions that include both of you. Hanging out together will ultimately clear things up and you will make certain if he actually likes you or not.

5. You’re acting excessively attached

Acting clingy can be a turn off for many individuals, specifically males. Put down the phone and skip that phone call.

Possibly you actually like him and wish to share whatever with him but consider whether it’s too soon. Neediness is considered unattractive according to present social standards.

That’s why playing hard to get is so popular.

Why Do Men Pull Away when they find clinginess? Clinginess can come from a person’s absence of other interests and hobbies.

You need to never ever overlook your own life and absolutely dedicate your time to him, not even if he’s a fantastic man who treats you the best way possible. Everybody needs to have their own space and time for themselves.

Clinginess can likewise imply being excessively envious and lacking self-esteem.

It’s important to acknowledge that and work on yourself. Feeling independent is a great feeling that can construct your self-confidence and make you more attractive. It’s reassuring when individuals can feel great by themselves and take care of themselves without trying to find someone else to make the move or tell them what to do.

6. He’s frightened of intimacy

It’s not unusual for guys to be terrified of love. There are lots of possible reasons why males hesitate to commit. Maybe he had a rough love life and a bad break up in the past.

Possibly he has issues that he never ever resolved. We reside in a society that encourages males to suppress their sensations so it’s not surprising that males can be frightened of emotions.

For guys, sex is different from being mentally intimate. Being mentally intimate isn’t constantly simple. It exposes our weaknesses and reveals us things we’re perhaps not ready to confront.

Some men are more familiar with this and they might communicate things clearly. Others are totally uninformed and end up acting like assholes. Whatever the case, you ought to never let anybody disrespect you.

If he isn’t recovered from previous relationships, it’s much better not to engage in a new relationship. Major relationships have to do with opening up and dedication.

There’s no good relationship without letting go of the worry of intimacy. If he’s not able to do that, then it’s much better to carry on or you’ll wind up sad.

7. He hasn’t made up his mind

If a guy distances himself after intimacy it doesn’t always suggest he’s not into you or something is wrong. Perhaps it’s just too soon for him to have chosen whether he likes you because of the method or not.

There are external factors that must be considered though, like for example if your prospective relationship would be long-distance, or if your cultural background is extremely different.

Not everyone is ready to turn their lives upside down after only spending a short amount of time together.

8. He’s afraid of how much he loves you

Ok, I understand this sounds incredible and cliche however it is possible.

As stated, males are conditioned to hide their sensations and strive to be as tough as possible which doesn’t include snuggling after sex and making you breakfast in bed.

There’s a reason those gestures are thought about romantic (are rare). The majority of guys feel awkward thinking of doing something like that– even if they wish to!

Possibly he’s afraid of falling too difficult for you. This indicates he won’t have the ability to control his emotions which can lead him to get harmed.

This situation can discuss avoidant behavior, particularly if you intuitively know he truly likes you.

Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy, 8 common reasons.

What to do when he pulls away

Give him space

By offering him space you avoid appearing clingy and check his true interest in you. If he really likes you he will make the next move.

If he does not, it’s time for you to proceed. There’s no reason you must invest yourself in a guy who doesn’t care enough.

Ask him for his sincere viewpoint

If his behavior is really bugging you and you wish to learn the reality, be open and direct and ask him why he’s acting like that?

Do not utilize an implicating intonation and attempt to not sound like you’re attacking him. Perhaps his response will amaze you– you never know.

Continue with the game

If you believe the trigger is still there, despite his behavior, just continue playing the game. Make him chase you. Show him you do not need him.

Live your life as you would without him. Head out and have a good time, don’t take note, and see what occurs.

I hope I’ve offered you an answer to the concern “why do guys distance themselves after intimacy,8 common reasons” which now you understand what to do.

Remember: never ever normalize rude behavior and prior to making love with somebody ask yourself if you actually want to make love, or whether you seem like it’s something that’s required of you.

Women must have the ability to make love for enjoyment’s sake and not as a method of showing something or conforming to the standard.

Embrace your instinct and your sexuality and do not let anybody, specifically not your loved one, control your life due to the fact that excellent relationships are not based upon controlling or conditioning but understanding, honesty, and respect. Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy, 8 common reasons. Are there any other reasons you might know that I could’ve missed? Please share in the comments below.

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[iyashimekizuato]

—    BASICS.  

▸ IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ? he’s on the shorter side

▸ ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ? he doesn’t care. anyone who has a problem with it is just as easy to stab as anybody else.

▸ WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE ? He keeps it cut down for convenience, but maintains it in a rather poofy boyish style

▸ DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ? if wrapping himself head-to-toe in bandages at least twice a day and treating burns that won’t heal right counts as part of ‘grooming’, then very much so. If not, then it depends on whether he’s in some kind of ruse, where he works to keep certain appearances more than he normally would

▸ DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ? he thinks it is important for controlling others’ perceptions of him. So he cares what people think of him, but really not for normal human reasons. He’s manipulative and craves control, so what matters is that he made them think something more than it is the actual thing they think.

—    PREFERENCES.

▸ INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ?   outdoors ▸ RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ?  sun ▸ FOREST    OR    BEACH ?   forest ▸ PRECIOUS    METALS    OR    GEMS ?   whichever one’s market value is currently higher ▸ FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ?   ew ▸ PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ?   personality. it’s easier to fake. ▸ BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ?   being alone. (translator’s note: alone can include Azako) ▸ ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ?   order ▸ PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR    WHITE    LIES ?   Lies ▸ SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC ?   science ▸ PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ?   peace, but since that’s impossible... ▸ NIGHT    OR    DAY ?   day ▸ DUSK    OR    DAWN ?   dawn ▸ WARMTH    OR    COLD ?   warmth ▸ MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ?  Azako. ▸ READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ?   depends

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸ WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ? Uh.... I don’t know, can murder and other serious crimes be considered a habit? He’s more outright a bad person, so talking about ‘bad habits’ feels like it’s undercutting a little. He does also have issues with pain, and will sometimes hurt himself in one place to distract from the pain in another place. He also bites his nails when under duress.

▸ HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM ? I debated a while about putting his parents on here. They died because of a lie he told, plus they were emotionally and physically negligent, leading to his early acting-out. But that event still completely haunts him, leaving him with feelings of both residual anger and loneliness that he can never resolve.

Then there’s Utsuho, who is still alive, but who Iriya lost in a more significant way. He lost his affection. So now Iriya continues to pursue that irreversibly fractured relationship no matter what it does to him. No matter what, he has to believe they were supposed to be together.

▸ WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ? Anything in the village with Utsuho. Those were the only times he felt connected to anyone and the only time he felt at peace and like he actually belonged in the world. 

▸ IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ? very. That’s sort of most of his character. he holds very little regard for the lives of others. He sees most people as beneath him, and those he doesn’t are few and far between.

▸ WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ? Violent, angry, and explosive. Pushing Iriya is a very, very bad idea. People die and towns burn down when Iriya snaps. His breaks are usually caused by feeling a loss of control over a situation (be it a technical plan or something larger like a spoiled relationship), and total destruction is his means of getting that control back.

▸ IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE ? No. Next.

▸ WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE ? Dangerous. He is obsessive and readily can fall into what his mind thinks is codependency (which can actually just be one-sided dependency, given how his obsessions can fail to take into account the other person’s feelings entirely). Think classic yandere stuff. Frankly, his entire canon story is driven by this kind of obsessive love, so shoutout to Iinuma for answering these questions for me <3

In the few instances where Iriya is slightly more mentally healthy, he is still clingy and touch-starved, prone to intense jealousy and fear he’ll be abandoned. That said, he’s also extremely affectionate to counteract all the insecurity. He’ll quickly capitulate to partner’s desires, bring gifts, change who he is entirely, do absolutely anything to make sure they stay by his side. If Iriya is interested in you, you’ll know. And you’ll know that nothing at all is going to make him lose that interest.

tagged by: stolen cuz I’m big sad today tagging: all 0.7 active blogs who follow me here

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #201

“one for all, all for one. we are strong, we are one. we are one nemesis.”

Do you feel pressure to keep your life interesting? It's not interesting at all, so. I'd sure as hell like it to be. At what time in your life were you happiest? If it was in the past, would you want to go back and relive it, though still knowing all the things you know now? Like... early-mid-'17, maybe? That's when my recovering really kicked off. I wouldn't go back. Is there anyone who seems to always be under the influence of something when you see them or talk to them? Does it bug you? No. Have you ever found the blog of someone you knew in real life, but not very well? How did it change your opinions on them? No. Then again I've never tried to. What is something you are incredibly behind on? Politics. I'm more importantly (to me, lmao) half a year behind on Good Mythical Morning, believe that or not. I don't watch TV anymore so don't really care, but I'm massive seasons behind on Supernatural. What’s the last allergic reaction you had? Shit, right now with this seasonal business. I've been congested for weeks. What does it mean when you start eating less? What does it mean when you start eating more? If I eat less than usual, it'll always relate to weight loss, I assure you. I've worked to greatly improve on the latter, however; eating more generally means I'm extremely depressed. Or bored, but I've got enough discipline by now to not eat if I'm not hungry. Is there anything you feel the need to organize by chart? No. What’s your opinion on mid-day naps? Go for it, it's good for you anyway. When’s the last time you spontaneously made plans? With who/to do what? Who knows; I don't have people to spontaneously make plans with. What’s the strangest named pet you’ve ever had? Probably Harry Potter the guinea pig. Or the fact I had a Chinese water dragon, green lizards, named Shadow. Okay look he was my second pet and I was little. What are some defense mechanisms you find yourself using when in an argument with someone? It's very likely I'll try to be totally factual and short without true thought as a fear reaction of losing the person, while on the inside I can be in a total panic attack. Do you know if there is anyone who was once important to you that you will never talk to again, even though you could? I absolutely will not speak to my former best friend unless completely necessary for whatever reason. Do you and your boyfriend or girlfriend fight a lot? Not at all. Have your parents ever told you that you couldn’t hang out with a certain someone? No. Have you ever cleaned up someone else’s vomit? I. Absolutely. NEVER will. I will absolutely hurl. Does your boyfriend or girlfriend get mad/jealous when you talk about the opposite sex? Nope. What was the last R-rated movie you watched? Halloween, I believe. Have you ever painted a car? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. I've never understood the appeal of them at all... Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No. Are the blankets that are on your bed now made by someone you know in life? No. Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? No. Have you ever met someone in person that you met online? Sara! There're others I hope to one day, too. Have you got any half or step siblings? Four halves, one step. Do you like kids’ movies? Not tiny kids (like, Barney and such type of things), but "kid movies" like Disney and such, hell yeah. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? No. If you have younger siblings, how old were you when your siblings were born? I was just over two years old. Do you sometimes use your music player to help you fall asleep? No. I did that in... I think middle school and some of high school, though. I have NO idea how I used to be able to do that. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? I'm not sure. Are there a lot of trees in your yard? Not in the yard, no. There's a good number just beyond our fence, though. What was the high and low temperature where you live today? Phone says 31*F and 50*F. Have you ever made ice cream out of snow? Snow cream, yeah. That's a common southern treat when it actually snows. What’s the coldest you remember ever walking outside in? Maybe single digits? What’s your least favorite color? Puke green. Or maybe bright yellow (pastel is pretty). …and your favorite? Pink. What’s your second favorite color? Maroon or burgundy. How many pairs of gloves do you wear in the winter? Usually zero. What’s one thing that most people complain about that you love? COLD WEATHER. What do you remember the most about recess at school when you were a kid? Oh boy... when my meerkat obsession began, I unintentionally started a trend of digging "burrows" with others in the sandbox. Our nails by the time we were done, holy shit. I LOVED doing it. What color are your kitchen chairs? A mess of beige hues with floral stuff on it, I think? I just know they're hideous and we all hate them. I don't really pay any attention to what the cushions really look like, though. Have you ever dated anybody online? *points to Sara* Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? Nah. Were you ever a 'secret admirer’ before? No. Ever stalked someone? No. Do you poke a lot of people on Facebook? Is this even a thing still? But I didn't, no. What was even the point. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? Illinois. Have you ever been close to getting kidnapped? Oh um no. Never seen this one on a survey before. Do you have any eating disorders? No, thank god. Do you plan on getting married? I hope so. What is one of the saddest novels you’ve ever read in your lifetime? First thing that came to mind was The Giver. I'm sure there's others on par with or sadder than it, but it's just the first that came to me. Orbit or 5 gum? I think I prefer 5? Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Many. The last time you threw up, what caused it? An ex-med I was on that had a strong side-effect of vomiting. Quit that. Did you have any foreign exchange students at your high school? Maybe? Idk. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something somewhere, but nothing that comes to mind. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? I think that's fact... I'm not saying religion itself is bad, no, but I think everyone can agree there'd be more peace without it. Have you kept the same icon here for a long time? Yeah; I don't take nearly enough pictures to have a new one, though I wanna change it because WOW do I look like a bitch. Why did you choose your icon, anyway? I thought the picture itself was decent, and it let my inner goth pop out a bit. If only I had the wardrobe and dedication. Any fun facts (on any topic) you’d like to share? Well here's your meerkat one: Meerkats are the second-most social animals on Earth, falling just behind naked mole rats. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? "Hurt my feelings" isn't the right word; I feel embarrassed. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? Yeah, actually. Even just calling me "Britt" makes me feel like we're closer or something. More personal ones though, I really like. When you make friends, are you usually the one to "make the first move"? Definitely not. What fandoms are you in? Like, A LOT, but actively, Markiplier, a few other YouTubers, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, and meerkats. Maybe more, idk. I lose count. I would say Spyro, but I'm totally uninvolved in some areas of it, like Skylanders. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? I wouldn't say left, just lost a considerable amount of interest, like Good Mythical Morning and  PewDiePie. Used to watch every day, and now both are seldom. Do you more often feel superior or inferior to others? Inferior. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffled, definitely. Can you do any impressions? Not of a specific person. Do you carry pepper spray? Have you ever had to use it? No. Best thing to do during a power outage? Play a horror game as my laptop's battery dies lmao. At night, anyway. During the day, idk. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I don't believe so. When was the last time you had a headache? What about stomachache? Headache, I believe once when Sara was here early this month. Stomachache, not that long ago. Which one of your classes goes by the slowest? N/A The last time you walked somewhere, who were you with? Probably at Sara's down the path. Maybe something later, but idr. Where is your second home? Sara's is the second house I'm most comfortable in besides my own. Or maybe Dad's, idk. What did you last have a conversation with one of your siblings about? Idr. Do you have the person you hate the most on Facebook? No. How many times did you clean out your text inbox today? I don't clean it out. Well, I have once or twice while trying to make space on my phone. What’s something you would do drunk but never do sober? I have a feeling I'd be way more open than I'd like. Have you ever had a night that’s been hands down the best night of your life? If so, describe what happened? I'm not sure. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Dad, idk. I don't live with him. Mom, it varies greatly, but typically 8:30ish. Is family the most important thing in your life? If not, what is? My definition of family (only includes people who I feel are emotionally family), yes. Or my mental health. Is writing something that you enjoy doing? Ha ha obviously. —would you rather read or write? Write. Would you rather draw or take photographs? Take photos. Do you prefer black and white or color photographs? Why? I can't pick a side; changes in color can seriously alter the emotions of the shot, making neither superior to the other imo. Both are beautiful, some moreso than others, depending on the composition. What was the last thoughtless thing you did? I'm not sure. What is one movie you’ve seen, but few others have? A lot of "idk" in this one. Off the top of my head, the kids movie Napoleon wasn't popular in America, I think? —how about a movie you haven’t seen, but many others have? The entire Harry Potter series. What is something you do subconsciously? Play with my lip ring. Who was the last person to toy with your emotions? *shrugs* When was the last time you cheated at something? I have no clue. what’s the most money you’ve received from the ‘tooth fairy’? I think $5? Describe the main problem with your last relationship? I didn't like him in that way. When was the last time you debated with someone? Some time ago with Sara about a political view. And mind you it was a friendly debate, not an argument as apparently all are nowadays. What cartoon/anime character can you most relate to? There's too many characters to think through. Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? Leave me and my Mark icons-in-the-making alone. Do you have your own personal water jug? If so, where did you buy it? No. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Nothing works for me. When you sneeze, do you sneeze into your hand or the inside of your elbow? Elbow. What actor/actress do you find weird? Lol I'm not to judge there. What’s your ultimate favorite bagel? Just a normal one with a moderate amount of cream cheese. Do you have a blister anywhere on your body? No. Do you get manicures/pedicures regularly? I never do. When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? February '17. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? She'd spank me and/or say I was grounded for a week, which always only lasted like a couple days or so. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Like, any kind of math. Who is the person you are the closest to? (emotionally, not physically) Mom or Sara in different ways. What are some odd habits you have relating to food/eating? I'm picky as fuck with texture. I'm particular with food in general. Last furry thing you touched: My kitty. <3 What do you check out first when you check someone out? I've never really paid attention... I mean, it probably depends on the person, what catches my attention most? Have you ever kissed someone in a band? No. Would you raise your children like your parents raised you? In some ways, in other ways no. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No. Are you donating your organs? Yup. Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth? No, but Mom threatened it. Have you ever dated someone with more piercings than you? No. Who was the last person you spent more than 15 minutes on the phone with? My dad. Have you been swimming in the last six months? How long ago was the beach trip... idr. Maybe. What hair color looks best on you and what’s your natural color? From what I've had so far, I love red on me. My natural color is brown. What is your favorite show to watch? That '70s Show is something you can always put on and I'll pay attention. Like, I'm never /not/ in the mood to watch it if I have to watch TV for whatever reason. Do you wear necklaces? Rarely. Do you blush easily? Yup. ;-; Are you an artist/writer? Not professionally, but I do both. Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know? Yes and yes. Are your maternal/parental instincts strong? With kids, not at all. At all. Instead, I have them big time in serious, romantic relationships; I have the biggest "PROTECT PROTECT TAKE CARE FOR THEM AND PROTECT AT ALL COSTS" instinct. ACTUAL mama bear. Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? Does anyone not have this kind of person in their life? Anyway, I've maybe said so casually and gently where it was relevant, but I'm not positive. Of course it's hard to support them, and sometimes I simply can't, ex. with my former best friend. What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? INDEPENDENCE. I'm borderline on the diagnoses of dependent personality disorder with how I have a very difficult time making my own choices and doing lots of things on my own; it's a serious problem with my mom, and I worry how I'll be when I no longer live with her, really. Like, she still schedules my appointments, makes some serious phone calls I'm scared doing myself (but sometimes she can't with me being an adult), she handles just... a lot. Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? No. Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? Not at all, romantic or platonic! My online buds mean just as much, some even more, than my "real life" ones. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? Not on a lot, but for things I'm really hyped for, particularly games and music, yeah. For the second part of the question, yes. I did that for WoW's Warlords of Draenor expansion, and maybe Legion? Idr tho because I was nervous asking my mom. I also think I mighta seen the Warcraft movie the day it came out, but I'm also uncertain. Have you ever been in trouble for illegally downloading something? No. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? Early, defs. Whenever I work, I'm certainly aiming for a morning shift. Get it over with, and plus, I'm in a better mood in the mornings, so it'd be easier to get work done; plus, getting out of the house is a good way for me to come home and actually feel like I got my dose of social interaction for the day, so now I can enjoy the rest of the day. Is there someone who seems to only reach out to you when they want something from you? No; I don't tolerate that shit. Do movies often make you cry? What kind of films/scenes make you tear up most? Yeah. Tragic romantic things get me easily, and seeing someone die and another character lose it over their death kills me. Happy reunions are tear-jerkers, too. I would probably still cry at the end of Homeward Bound. How did your expectations of the last book you read compare to your thoughts after reading it? What about your expectations of the last movie you watched? The original Alice In Wonderland was a book I was surprised to be that short, and it wasn't really as "out there" as I'd expected. I still enjoyed it, though. Last movie... that was Elf. I didn't anticipate it being as damn cute and funny as it was. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? Just to track my period. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? Sara's. If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? Perhaps the first Thanksgiving? OH, but I would without a doubt choose the extinction of the dinosaurs if I was somehow entirely protected. That had to be, sad as it is, visually incredible. Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it? Rollercoasters; I'm terrified of vomiting, however, and also fainting with how I handle dizziness. What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? Don't expect me to dress up all fancy going to an expensive restaurant or something. I'm going to eat, I'm not worried about my damn clothing. But more than anything, I absolutely refuse to let a job hold me back from getting tatted or pierced. I'm perfectly aware that really slims down my options, but I sincerely couldn't care less. I'm not bending to one of the most ludicrous expectations I know of. Are you interested in architecture? Is there any particular style that you’re drawn to? Yeah! I ADORE gothic especially, and Roman, too. What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? Lol I should really have an answer for this, considering the breakup... I don't believe I did anything "stalker-ish," maybe not even creepy, just rude and nosy. Sorry for trying (but thankfully failing) to hack your Facebook to see if you were talking to a girl some time early into the breakup, Jason. ;_; Reeeaaally regret that. What is something you can only understand if you’ve experienced it first hand? Pure heartbreak. It is absolutely, utterly agonizing. Are you more of an open person or a private person when it comes to talking about personal things? (Relationships, your sex life, finances, etc.) It depends on the subject, but usually, I am very private, particularly irl. I'm more open online by a long shot. Do you agree or disagree with the saying “If two former lovers can remain friends, either they were never in love, or still are.”? Why or why not? That's bullshit. People change, and you can lose romantic interest. What’s a part of yourself, physically, that you’re unhappy with? (Hair, face, skin, body part, etc.) Is it something you’re able to change or something you’re stuck with? Uh, pretty much everything because of weight? I can change that and am trying so hard to, but I've been at a stagnant weight for over a damn year, and I can't even begin to wonder how. It dropped like flies in '17. Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? DOUBLE. FUCKING. STANDARD. Fight the hell back to protect yourself. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important… Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. Ceremony, pictures, honeymoon, dress, venue, hair, ring or decorations, food. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Asking how they've been. Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) No. Well, I owe my previous college money, anyway. Even though I shouldn't, so Mom's trying to take legal action with that and their shitty communication. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? A sum of money for a big 'ole tattoo, boys. Is there a quote that’s helped you through hard times or really stuck with you? What is it? "You're perfectly flawed" from an Otep song. I have that tattooed for a reason. Then there's countless ones from my partial hospitalization, but "Deal with life, or life deals with you" particularly will stick out to me probably forever. There's loads more. What’s something practical and useful “real world” things that should be taught in high school aside from the basics like English, math, science, etc.? CHRIST, why the FUCK do we not have classes teaching us how to handle the adult life with things like finances. What are some things that a person or couple could do that would show they’re insecure about themselves or their relationship? More than anything probably, go through their phone. ACTUALLY fuck off. Do you have sympathy for people who die as a result of their own actions? (Example: someone doesn’t wear a helmet when they ride their motorcycle and they get in an accident and die.) Well of course; a human being still died, and maybe it's even sadder when it was in their own hands. It's disappointing, but you should of course feel sympathy. What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? Old, The Lion King. New, there's SO many to choose from, so I can't give a certain answer, but possibly Coco. I adored that movie. Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. I don't pay attention to what's trendy, really. Idk. Oh wait, is that "Kiki Do You Love Me?" or whatever that trash is called still around? There’s a quote that says “Anyone who gave you confidence, you owe them a lot.” Is there a person who YOU can thank for your confidence? Hm... I'm not sure about this quote. But anyway, I don't even have confidence to begin with. “Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? Usually like, particularly if we're being extremely passionate. I'm suuuuper shy delivering it, though. Hell, I get flustered hearing it towards me sometimes, too. What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? American. Favorite... I think cheeseburgers. Would you be more hurt by your significant other having a long drawn out emotional affair but never having sex with that person OR a long drawn out physical affair where it was just lots of sex and no (or few) emotions attached? The first, my reasoning being for them to be emotionally invested in another person says more about how much they "love" me versus the latter option. I dunno... the second is awful, too. Tough question to answer. Say one positive thing and one negative thing about your boss (or any other authority figure). I'll pick my mom. Positive: Her support is never-ending. Negative: She's "always right." How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? I've grown more and more comfortable with it as I've grown bolder with cutting it. How do you practice truly living in the moment? I'm bad at this... Do you think most abusers know they’re being abusive? Probably, especially if it's physical. How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? That'd be pretty suspicious, but then again, I can't really talk? One of my best friends/my ex is still a very good friend of mine, and we talk every now and again with no romantic interest (at least on my end; idk if he still like-likes me). That being said, I don't know how I'd feel, especially if it was daily. I do know I'd be less anxious if our relationship was strong and steady. What perfume of yours does your SO love on you? She doesn't like perfume, and I almost never wear it anyway. Have you made any (at least semi-) permanent alterations to your appearance? If so, how did you find the experience and do you regret it? Tattoos, there's a visible hole where my first lip ring was, and the holes in my left earlobe have been seriously stretched (it goes to literally the bottom of my lobe) from heavy earrings for a long time. No clue how the right side is totally fine. Anyway, the only tattoo I regret is my "ohana" one, as it doesn't really suit me; I don't give a damn if you're blood, I choose my "real" family, but even then, people change. I know I'll get it covered at some point; right now I'm considering a bat tat on my chest with its wings expanded at some point, and it may conceal it, but it's not high on my to-do list. I love my "how rare and beautiful it is to exist," although I wish I'd made a more unique design of it instead of stealing it from Pinterest... ha ha. I don't want tattoos others have; I want mine to stand out. I also wish I'd chosen an even more professional artist to do my Markiplier piece, but I plan on going to a better parlor when I can afford it to get my vision "right." It's probably the most important tattoo I'll ever have, so I want it perfect in my eyes. My artist didn't do bad, not at all, it just came out with a less convincing-galaxy background. It'll be an easy fix with the right artist. Onto the lip ring, I regret deliberately wanting it slightly to the left and not dead-center through my lip. I have no idea why I wanted it there? You can still see the faint hole when I pull my lips back, which I hate. Lastly, I just HATE the appearance of stretched-out earlobes. I don't even wear earrings anymore with how they look like there's about to just fall off. Women with disabilities/anxiety/depression/other mental health issues/chronic illnesses, how do you get it across to your SO/friends that sometimes you just can’t do something? Why specifically women? But anyway, sometimes it's just impossible. I don't think anyone can really "get it" until you have a breakdown/accident or whatever in front of them. Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? I like the smell of light cologne. Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? I suppose it'd be concerning if they just didn't want to, but like if it doesn't fit or anything, of course don't try to wear it. What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? First, I took a look at my mental health and capabilities and chose I would NOT be a good, healthy mother able to raise them. Also, aforementioned maternal instinct lacking. As well, I don't want to invest years into a person that might just wind up hating me. And super importantly, my alone time is extremely important, and thaaat's pretty impossible with kids. They're expensive. Peace and quiet, bye. Pressure to ensure they grow up to be a good, independent person. Yeah, there's lots of reasons I can confidently say no, I don't want kids. How do you feel about men who preface statements on non-gendered things with “as a guy”? *shrugs* It depends, I guess. Does anyone else just HAVE to wear pajamas/lounge clothes when you’re at home? I live in my pjs. Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? No. What would your reaction be if your SO wanted the opposite type of wedding than you did? Just compromise. Who says things have to match a theme. What kind if body type do you find attractive and unattractive (for your preferred sex)? Let's get this straight first: I don't care about appearances. But of course, that doesn't mean I don't have preferences. For girls, I'm really attracted to curvy women at a healthy weight. Men, I like just a tad bit muscular, but noooot very much. How do you feel about strangers approaching you with compliments? I'm flattered, but I will definitely get anxious, especially if it's a man. I'm more terrified than anxious if they do that. Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? Hm, not really cheating. I'd be preeeetty unhappy if my s/o did that and kept it a secret, but I'm not quite sure how I'd react to knowing they went to a strip club. I think most likely I'd just feel like I wasn't enough and cry. Maybe I'd be fine with it if they asked me beforehand how I felt and I had their word they wouldn't "do anything." Like it's simple fact that you can be in a relationship and still find others attractive, so I guess if you just wanna go out for once and I feel you're genuine when telling me you'll behave, it's not too big a deal? But I'm still not sure. Would you be more offended if your man cheated on you with a guy or a girl? I'll just pretend you said "your partner." Both would upset the hell out of me, but I think doing it with the opposite gender would most hurt me, especially because you're taking a risk of someone getting pregnant. Is there something you are afraid, embarrassed, or ashamed to tell someone? That I love/play World of Warcraft, lmao. Admitting I'm an RPer would be even worse. DON'T ask what my worst weight was. The Joel thing. There's probably loads more. Are you struggling in any way right now?  Oh, of course. When was the last time you made a REALLY stupid decision? Oh boy. Really bad... HA, actually, probably this one time I drank a milkshake too fast, and my stomach still hasn't forgiven me. Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? Sometimes. Have you ever written/drawn/painted random stuff on your bedroom wall? No. What do you currently hear? "Professional Griefers" by deadmau5 ft. Gerard Way. What’s your favorite flavor of Doritos? Cool ranch. Who was the last person to hold your hand? Sara. Do you have any clothing with animal print on it? No. Have you ever seen a hippo in person? I don't believe we have any at our zoo, no. What’s something you do too much? Sit here. In the bed. On my laptop. Fun. How often do you have nightmares? Rarely. What was the last thing you downloaded on your computer? A game on Steam. I can't remember which. Honestly, are you spoiled? I don't think so, at least not much. Is there anyone’s laugh that makes you laugh when you hear it? Mark's. Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren’t supposed to? I will lose all respect for you if you pull that shit. Do you have a tan yet? It's winter, and I don't tan anyway. Have you ever been told you have a bad attitude? I think my grandmother did once on the same occasion she called me a bitch. Do you make other people laugh often? I don't think so, no. What are some things you want out of life? Satisfaction with all I've done and experienced, more than anything. Do you feel bored with your life? Boy, do I. Who’s someone you miss that you haven’t talked to in years? Megan. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? No. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? No. No. No. Nope. Not answering. Stay the actual fuck away from Abilify. How do you get through hard times? Talking with/venting to Sara and/or Mom, watch my favorite YouTubers, listen to (usually relatable) music, and just remind myself if I survived '16, I can persist through just about anything. Rarely, I draw some vent art. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. I don't believe it has any power, even with me believing in some kind of ultimate creator. What do you miss about high school? Friends. What do you miss the most about college? I was in a very bad mental state through both attempts, so I miss nothing. Did you like high school? I've hated school since I was in pre-k, dude. Have you ever been the victim of a crime? I don't think so? Is your life worse than you could have ever have imagined it to be? or is it better, or just what you expected? Worse. I mean it's not awful, but I expected muuuuch more by this point... What was the last good book you read about? Arthas' rise to the Lich King, and it hurt me okay I still wanna press charges against Christie Golden. What’s the last great song you discovered? "Natural Born Sinner" by In This Moment. Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? Nope. I pretty much never post about myself because I'm too afraid of saying something stupid "in front of" all the people I call friends. AvPD is a blessing. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? Mountains. Who were your favorite celebrities as a child? Steve Irwin was everything to me. I also loved Jesse McCartney and the Backstreet Boys. Oh, Jeff Corwin, too. What do you miss the most about your past? No mental illnesses. .-. Do you like getting older? At my current age, I don't really care... What hard thing are you going through right now, if applicable? The biggest thing currently is practically being chained to my house. I'm home alone almost everyday and usually all day, so day after day I'm just. Sitting here in this house by myself. Even as an introvert, it's gotten to a serious severity of loneliness and maddening boredom. I'm just gonna stop here before answering this any further ruins my day. Do you prefer slow songs or fast songs? Generally, more towards the fast side. Have you made any progress toward going after your dreams? Yeah, just teeny-tiny baby steps, sadly. What color is your trash can? Like, the big one you put on the side of the road for the dumpster? Dark green. What color is your dresser? Brown. Do you own a computer? If yes, is it a desktop or laptop? Yeah; laptop. How old were you when you first got a cell phone? I dunno, maybe the start of middle school? Do you like pineapple on pizza? You are a certified psychopath if you think that tastes good. No. What medication or drug has given you the worst withdrawals? I'm not sure. I've been on waaaaaaay too goddamn many to remember.

[serenagaywaterford]

1) "Is violent mob revenge the answer? (I honestly can’t make that determination.) Is violence sometimes the answer? Is war the only answer with totalitarian regimes?" Those are the kind of questions I had in mind actually. Obviously, I wouldn't expect any answers (bc those are up to the audience, not the series), but it would be interesting if they went there. Of course, these questions would fly over some people's heads (like you said), bc honestly? Said people approach THT like it's a

2) Disney-esque (/superhero) series (nothing wrong with them), where the totally good guys get to punch and kill the totally evil guys in the end, uwu. (If I'm being too much of a dick, just tell me and I'll tone it down a notch, lol.) Anyway, mob mentality aside, history proves that such regimes fall and rise the same way they have been created. Aka "Those who arrive with blood, fall with blood." Doesn't mean that we have to like it. I've mentioned before that I detest violence and I especially

3) believe that it has NO place in politics. I've been called naive for this, so there's that. Weirdly enough, I'm also the kind of person who thinks that equating ALL forms of violence is quite dangerous given that: i) threats/regimes like Gilead are inherently genocidal in their ambitions, ii) the scale of violence is not always the same, iii) every country (democratic or not) has its army and police and most people consider this kind of (controlled) violence perfectly valid, iv) there's

4) self-defense. Where I'm going with this? If a pro-Gilead person is threatened by an anti-Gilead one, the former has a choice: they can ask for a democratic trial (bc it's too late to apologize). Most likely, civilized/democratic people will listen to reason. (Well, unless we're talking about mobs... THEN, things get quite disturbing.) But if a person belongs to a group/minority targeted by Gilead, there's nothing they can do that will make pro-Gilead people happy... except die or get raped

5) for life. Anyway, I really could go on and on about this subject, but I think I'll stop here, bc it's quite complex. /// I was thinking about what you said concerning Fred and Serena's pre-Gilead relationship, and you know what? You're right. Their relationship would have fallen apart at some point, Gilead notwithstanding or not. Fred is two-faced and he sure af played us in S1. (Ngl, I used to think he was the lesser of the two evils.) But one doesn't become such an antipathetic monster at

6) a flip of the dime. The nasty parts were always there, but he concealed/controlled them. Maybe bc said parts wouldn't exactly make him endearing to others? Anyhow, your interpretation makes him quite the interesting antagonist/villain, so I'm rolling with it, lol.

---------

OMG. I think I’m in love with you?  PLEASE NEVER STOP BEING YOU. I don’t think you’re being a dick at all. I love it. Cos sometimes we just gotta call the BS like we see it?

“Of course, these questions would fly over some people's heads (like you said), bc honestly? Said people approach THT like it's a Disney-esque (/superhero) series (nothing wrong with them), where the totally good guys get to punch and kill the totally evil guys in the end, uwu.”

This is such a huge point. Cos I think there’s a very common trend of THT attempting to approach issues from various angles and try to show the complexity of it but then it going WHOOSH over so many viewers’ heads. Which never makes sense to me cos like, what’s the point in watching THT if you’re not considering it on multiple levels and trying to explore the issues? I don’t wanna point the blame in the general directions of particular shippers but I can’t help it, perhaps cos they’re just the most vocal in fandom, but it seems that the Disney-eqsque superhero tale is what they want, complete with EPIC HETERO ROMANCE!!! throughout. I’d say at least 50% of the responses are about Mr. Nicky (It goes up to 75-80% if we are actually shown his face). (And their concern is focused on the male romantic lead... YAWN.)

I would absolutely love THT to take the path of questioning mob mentality and the cycle of violence/victimization, etc. But it may be too much for even Hulu to want to tackle considering how black and white viewers seem to think. They are trying so HARD to present characters as shades of grey (Serena, being the main example. But June, Emily, Luke, Nick, etc. also) but instead of placing them along a spectrum it’s either DIE EVIL SCUM! or AMAZING CINNAMON ROLL CAN DO NO WRONG! I think the only one they complain about is June cos she’s not AS perfect as they’d like her to be. She makes some dumbass fucking decisions for sure. Sometimes I like that about her, especially how pre-Gilead June was not a super great person. She was just sorta... normal. (Other times I’m like, “JUNE YOU IDIOT WTF?!” lol but that’s fun too I guess.) If I made a scale myself, I’d probably put June fairly close to the centre, rather than on the far “good” end.

I always wondered this:

If June hadn’t been deemed a “fallen woman” and thus been allowed to stay as an Econowife, with Luke and Hannah, would she have done anything? Would she be as inspired to rebel and resist as she is? I’m not trying to shit on June at all, but I feel like it’s a question I’m curious about. A lot of people say they would be big heroes, but when really faced with the reality of living a sort of shitty life or risking that for an uncertain thing/death, most just choose to go along with it and hope it ends (especially hope that SOMEBODY else takes the risk to end it). Even good people. What do you think? 

(Aside: June being called a fallen woman is SUCH bullshit. She wasn’t cheating on anybody! LUKE was unfaithful, not her! Which is why I thought perhaps they missed a chance to address race. It could have influence on what Gilead deems “holy” marriages, and those they see as “sinful”. And a (even subtly) racist fascist state, would deffo see mixed marriage as a terrible thing. “Let’s get the fertile white woman knocked up with some white babies; no more of this mixed race babies!” Again, as we talked about before, it would limit Hannah’s storyline ofc, but I guess it wouldn’t HAVE to. She could be in a “lesser” household, instead of the rich fancy one she is.)

Sorry, those were some unplanned side rants!

I love how you described all the politics of that. It really is a fascinating thing to consider, especially how to deal with Gilead, both on an international scale, and just on smaller scales. War? Seems inevitable honestly. And clearly, Gilead is STILL fighting wars all over the continent. I honestly... you’re so right. It’s very complex and I’m not sure how detailed THT will go with that. They seem to be keeping things quite... superficial. They reference things every so often but there’s nothing solid to latch onto. It often reminds me of the Underpants Gnomes from South Park. 

phase 1: blow up congress

phase 2: ???

phase 3: establish fully-functional military fascist handmaid regime over entire continental US.

....so how to bring down Gilead then??? 

phase 1: burn down 3 house + angry handmaid steal babby back then let babby go to canada!!

phase 2: ???

phase 3: overthrow massive fascist military regime!!!!

So, we’ll see how they do it. I doubt we’re really going to get a lot of details about how everything works and maybe it’s just better that way cos it seems like the more they try to explain how Gilead stays working, it makes even less sense. And also, as much as this stuff is interesting, I really don’t wanna watch THT turn into like Zero Dark Thirty or some shit. It’s strongest when focused on the women’s experiences specifically.

“Fred is two-faced and he sure af played us in S1. (Ngl, I used to think he was the lesser of the two evils.)“

Same! It wasn’t until S2 that I started going “hmm” about Fred. I thought he wasn’t as evil as her. And when you go back and watch S1 knowing what he’s done in S2, tehre are hints and I got a weird vibe. Like... I dunno. I was randomly just rewatching that 2x11 scene where Fred and Serena are at the house and Fred is just so.... Yikes. His motives are so clear. And I tried to find examples of Fred’s humanity. I do believe we get glimpses of Serena’s, and she has capacity for kindness--in very specific circumstances but I couldn’t find a single scene of Fred where he does anything selfless, or without expecting some sort of gross sexual favour/ego stroke in return, or even kind. It’s all for his own gratification. And I am 1000% convinced he has some sort of pregnancy fetish. It doesn’t seem like he gives a shit about the actual baby, esp once its born. He’s more interested in June’s bodily changes (not the actual baby) when she’s pregnant, and her lactation afterwards. And I may not know much about the world of fetishes but I do know that’s not exactly a rare one for men. 

I think an argument against me would be the car convo about creating the Ceremony cos Fred kind of just went along with it and was on the fence. But then I think... it’s not that he was against it at all. He just didn’t think women would like it. It was never, “Nah, mate, that’s a step too far.” It was more like, “Cool idea, bros. But let’s rebrand it okay?” I mean, in the flashbacks, he did seem very proud of her, enamored, like you said. But part of me just can’t shake that, okay fair play that he probably did honestly love/respect her in some ways, but he also saw it as, “Yes, this plan is going just the way I want it!” I don’t feel like power corrupts THAT much, that quickly that he’d go from perfect husband and lovingly gazing at his amazing wife to demeaning, repeatedly cheating on her, and beating the living shit out of her (and raping her) in a few years. Then again, extreme situations can make people change quite abruptly. Who knows.

I dunno. Maybe I just hate him and dont’ wanna give him any credit for being a human being in any way whatsoever lol. 

[piquira]

Shakira: Interview from Camp Nou

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