#does and it's triggering me??? i have no idea i just feel so shitty and irritable and MEAN like i bit mt bf's head off earlier thru text bc

[gentlethorns]

sigh i feel fucking insane and idk why. like things are lining up and working out what's w the doom n gloom queen

[munsonfamilyband]

I’ve been on a Soulmates kick today and just saw a fic where Steve has two marks - one for Robin and one for Eddie. And it’s got me thinking.

Of course, he doesn’t know who his marks are for. He only knows that they’re two people because they look so different. Soulmarks show up where you and your soulmate will have the first skin-skin contact, and they have the words they will say when that happens written in their handwriting.

Steve has one covering his palm, the handwriting is small and sharp, all angles and no rounded edges. That one says “Steve, we need to run”. It seems scared, the wording, but he refuses to think about it. The other mark he has is covering his left hip, curling like someone was holding him from the side. This handwriting is completely different from the other one and is best described as chicken scratch. It’s big and messy, letters flowing into each other like the writer didn’t even pick up their pen between each stroke. That one says “I got you, just lean on me”. It seems less scared but there’s concern laced in the words that helps Steve feel less alone when he’s laying in bed late at night. That’s the only time he ever lets himself think about his soulmates, during the day he avoids it like the plague. His parents are soulmates and they barely speak, so soulmates can’t be all they’re cracked up to be. After Nancy never makes one of his marks tingle and burn he tries to give up on the idea entirely, figuring he can go on without a soulmate and be with Nancy - but then she breaks his heart and those late nights are all he has.

His first soulmark changes when he’s stuck underneath Starcourt mall the summer after he graduated. He had been working with a girl, Robin, who barely tolerated him on a good day and now she’s been sucked into his shitty world. When the alarms go off in the bunker he barely has a second to react before Robin is grabbing his hand and yelling at him, “Steve, we need to run!” His feet start moving and he yells back for her to be careful with his arm, even as he feels the tingling burn cover his palm and in that supply closet, leaning against the door next to Robin they make eye contact. In that short second of connection he knows that she felt it to, that he’s just found his soulmate and despite his fear he’s so happy that it’s her. Later, after they had both puked up their guts and he had confessed to having a crush on her, Robin told him about Mrs. Click’s class and Tammy Thompson and how she’s sorry that he’s stuck with a soulmate who can never love him back. Steve blinks and suddenly his two soulmarks make so much more sense.

“Robin, I have another soulmark. I don’t… I don’t think you were ever a romantic soulmate for me.” He watches the relief and, maybe even, joy cover her face and she launches herself at him in a hug, squeezing him tight and he returns the favor completely ignoring his own pain.

The other soulmate comes over 8 months after meeting Robin. He was so grateful for having her in his life but he still wanted that other piece, he loved Robin and she loved him but he wanted romantic love too. Unfortunately for Steve, just like with Robin, his other soulmark was triggered when he was fearing for his life. He had just been dragged through Watergate and made into a chew toy for a bunch of demobats. Steve was just trying to catch his breath when they all heard the bigger hoard approaching and he knew he had to run. He made it surprisingly far before the pain of each step started to settle in, his feet dragging more and more and his pace slowing when someone moved in beside him, wrapping one arm around his back to settle his hand on his hip. Eddie grabbed the arm closest to him and dragged it over his shoulders, giving Steve a grin. “I got you, you can lean on me.” This only made Steve completely trip; the sudden onset of tingling burning at his side so close to his currently bleeding wounds had his left leg collapsing under his weight.

“Why does this always happen when I’m in danger?” Eddie froze and then a laugh burst forward.

“That makes so much sense with context. C’mon let’s get you somewhere to sit and we can talk more when you’re not bleeding over me.”

When he and Eddie got to Skull Rock, he and Robin made eye contact and he watched her eyes flit down to where Eddie’s hand was on his side. Her eyes grew about three sizes and he just shot her the best grin he could. He didn’t care that he had been bleeding all over his soulmate for the past few minutes - he had gotten blood on Robin when they found out that they were soulmates, so it seemed fitting for him to be doing the same to Eddie.

Years down the road he would look back and laugh at the drama surrounding him finding both of his soulmates. Eddie even joked that the universe gave him two to make up for his shitty parents, and Steve wasn’t going to argue.

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Can't get over dj Lando in Bali for new years so can I request a smau where he's partying there with reader aka Max's sister? And she's like a dutch influencer so people are kinda like 🤨what they doin doe

My first fic of 2024 🫶 happy new year and enjoy, hoping you don't mind I made Y/n into an ex-junkie for the ✨drama✨, but I've had this idea on my mind for quite some time now, because it's like she's the opposite of her brother. Also I couldn't not make Y/n be friends with a few other drivers too, and also the caption on the last post is 🤌 I loved making this fanfic

y/n_verstappen A last minute decision to spend the end of the year in Bali

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maxverstappen1 Have fun with your girls, don't get in too much trouble

↳y/n_verstappen Yeah... just me and my girls... me & my girls & I

↳username2 guys I have a feeling she's plotting smth

↳username1 we love to see big brother max being the dad

↳username3 that's cuz Jos did a pretty shitty job

yourfriend1 missed this ❤️ grateful to be ending this year with you @/y/n_verstappen @/yourfriend2

↳y/n_verstappen you don't ever know how grateful I am to be in Bali with my favorite people!

↳yourfriend2 I love you guys 🥹😭

↳username2 SHE SAID PEOPLE I repeat she said PEOPLE instead of GIRLS

landonorris Wow I wonder who took these pics of you, they're very nice

↳y/n_verstappen I hired a professional photographer😼pretty expensive if you ask me, but also worth it

↳maxverstappen1 Please quit flirting with my sister

↳landonorris @/maxverstappen1 I'm flirting with the photographer lmao he's very talented if you didn't notice

charles_leclerc Looking forward to hanging out when you're back ☀

↳y/n_verstappen Charlie I went to Switzerland with you before Xmas 😭 it's been a week

↳charles_leclerc Arthur made me post this comment

↳y/n_verstappen tell him I miss him then 🫶 you? not so much 🖕

↳arthur_leclerc I kiss you too @/y/n_verstappen

↳arthur_leclerc *miss

↳y/n_verstappen phew 😮‍💨 you've almost triggered a particular someone

↳username2 this someone being your brother, right Y/n? RIGHT Y/N?!

↳yourfriend1 sure you can go vroom in circles but can you fight? 🤺

↳yourfriend2 that's not the person you should target this question at and we both know that 👀

↳username2 SOMEONE CRACK THIS CODE PLS 😭

↳username3 i mean, she's definitely hinting at Y/n dating a driver 🤷‍♀️ maybe someone from the current f1 grid even

↳username4 @/username2 @/username3 y'all be jumping into assumptions too quickly

username3 Guys I still can't believe Y/n was with the Leclercs in Switzerland and Alexandra wasn't

↳username4 Shut up, Y/n has been friends with the Leclerc brothers ever since Max and Charles' karting era

↳username3 wtf chill 💀 I'm joking (although I wouldn't complain if she ended up dating Charles or Arthur)

y/n_verstappen Adventures are better together

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landonorris The mask suits you, never take it off ❤️

↳username1 HELP why's he so mean to Max's sister💀

↳y/n_verstappen watch out in Bahrain 2024 🔫 sent a screenshot of your comment to the family groupchat

↳charles_leclerc you sent it to our groupchat with max and carlos

↳y/n_verstappen exactly

↳landonorris excuse me @/y/n_verstappen may I be added to the family groupchat?

↳y/n_verstappen excuse me @/landonorris, are you family?

↳landonorris that's my goal for 2024

username5 Look at Y/n having fun in Bali for her brother's money 😬

↳yourfriend1 more like the secret photographer's money 😇*this comment was deleted*

username3 MISS, DON'T ACT LIKE WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR COMMENT

↳username2 AND DON'T ACT LIKE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

charles_leclerc better than the adventures in Switzerland? 🤔

↳maxverstappen1 cringe

↳carlossainz55 cringe

↳georgerussell63 cringe

↳yourfriend1 cringe

↳yourfriend2 cringe

↳landonorris cringe

↳y/n_verstappen jealous Lando?

↳landonorris wtf 5 other people said cringe and I'm the jealous one?

↳y/n_verstappen well, technically 4 other people since Max is my brother

↳landonorris 4 other people and I'm the jealous one?

↳y/n_verstappen Max is my brother, I only tolerate Carlos, no one likes George and his shirtless pics, and my girls are basically pets

↳yourfriend1 arf!

carlossainz55 I thought you can't swim

↳y/n_verstappen I prefer not to swim, but the selfie was worth it

landonorris I've changed my mind about the mask, it's lovely, where can I get one? 🥰

↳y/n_verstappen wow that was quick, I wonder if @/maxverstappen1 has anything to do with it

↳y/n_verstappen anyway, I got it just down the road on my morning walk

↳landonorris how would I know where that is 🙄

↳y/n_verstappen want me to walk you there? 🙄

↳username2 DOES IT MEAN LANDO IS IN BALI TOO?!

↳username3 @/username2 GIRL THEY MIGHT BE ON VACATION TOGETHER

↳username2 i knew she was plotting something 😭

y/n_verstappen Darling, I fancy you

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username1 WHO IS THAT MAN 🔫 I JUST WANNA TALK

maxverstappen1 Y/n pick up the phone, you can't post and disappear

↳username2 rip to whoever is the mysterious man

↳username3 imagine your brother in law is max verstappen and he hates you before you even meet

↳landonorris ikr, terrible, i could never

↳username3 WTF LANDO

yourfriend1 my fav couple but when will you hard launch?

↳charles_leclerc asking the most important question right there

carlossainz55 I'm tired of knowing who he is and being forced to keep quiet

↳maxverstappen1 what? you found out before me?

↳carlossainz55 in Y/n's defence, the man couldn't keep it a secret

↳username2 alright chat now we know it's someone close to Carlos

↳username1 @/username2 CHARLES?

↳username2 @/username1 no, it can't be him, look a few comments above

↳username3 @/username1 @/username2 I'm being delulu but... Arthur? I'm just manifesting it's him

↳username2 and Charles wouldn't know?

↳username3 well, Max didn't 🤡

↳charles_leclerc don't be shy Carlito tell us

danielricciardo Ki ki ki ra

↳landonorris KI KI AY

↳y/n_verstappen I wanted to say it 😡 why are u so quick??

↳landonorris well, you're trying to compete with an f1 driver, better luck next time

username2 GUYS what if it's LANDO??? Close to Carlos ☑ can vroom circles ☑ possibly also in Bali rn ☑

↳username1 you might have a point plus the caption is Taylor Swift and Lando is a swiftie

↳username5 Is he? I thought it's a British thing to say you have a crush on someone

↳username2 @/username5 well, he's British, so another hint from Y/n I guess

username7 i surely hope her and Lando aren't dating, she's a retired drug addict

↳username1 leave the past in the past, let this girl be happy

arthur_leclerc y/n has a boyfriend y/n has a boyfriend

↳y/n_verstappen don't worry, someday you'll have one too

↳arthur_leclerc let's see if you'll keep this attitude introducing your new bf to Max 😄🖕

y/n_verstappen Als je bitch wil chillen is het geen probleem dan ga ik erheen, ik kom niet alleen want ik heb drank en drugs

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yourfriend1 amazing night!! 💜💜

↳y/n_verstappen we loved the music didn't we 😼

↳landonorris you're welcome 😌

username7 the caption 🥶

↳username2 chill out it's just a song literally!!

↳username3 i can't even remember all the times I've seen Max edited to this song on tiktok lmao

arthur_leclerc You clubbing without me?

↳y/n_verstappen it was a girls night 😇🖕

↳yourfriend2 no it wasn't 🫶

↳yourfriend1 tbh it was, her boyfriend spent more time DJing anyway

username1 why can't they make it official already 🥹

↳username2 I bet Carlos is wondering the same

landonorris I hope you tipped the DJ well for entertaining you half the night

↳y/n_verstappen I guess if you can call entertaining him for the 2nd half of the night in our hotel room a good tip

↳maxverstappen1 WHAT AM I READING

↳charles_leclerc asking myself the same question @/maxverstappen1

↳arthur_leclerc too much information

↳carlossainz55 Does it mean I don't have to keep the secret anymore?

maxverstappen1 Delete this post

↳y/n_verstappen no ❤️

josverstappen7 Gelukkig nieuwjaar maar ik vind deze fotos niet leuk*

↳y/n_verstappen wtf @/maxverstappen1

*happy new year but I don't like these photos

landonorris I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter, she is the best thing that's ever been mine

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y/n_verstappen *not so* careful, but you get a point for Taylor Swift lyrics

↳landonorris I'm literally in love with you

↳y/n_verstappen surely not more than I am in love with you ❤️

↳charles_leclerc cringe

↳arthur_leclerc cringe

↳oscarpiastri cringe

↳logansargeant cringe

↳yourfriend1 shut up all of you

y/n_verstappen btw just because I'm in love with you doesn't mean I can't kill you for posting the third pic

↳landonorris pls you'd never

↳y/n_verstappen I still have the screenshot that could make Max crash into you 🔫

carlossainz55 Finally, I was starting to worry

↳username2 WAR IS OVER 😭

oscarpiastri So happy for you guys!

↳landonorris double date when?

maxverstappen1 You're the only person I'd accept as my brother in law

↳landonorris thanks champ xx 🙏

↳username3 HE'S SO SASSY I CANT-

↳charles_leclerc what about @/arthur_leclerc? I thought you liked him, I thought we had plans

↳y/n_verstappen YOU HAD PLANS?

↳arthur_leclerc YOU HAD PLANS?

↳landonorris YOU HAD PLANS?

username5 I'd love to see Y/n and Arthur as a couple, but I'm so happy for her and Lando 😭

↳username3 nahhh Y/n and Arthur totally have besties vibe, siblings even, can't imagine them as a couple

username1 okay guys so do you think they speak dutch or english when they're alone?

↳username3 Do you think Lando can speak dutch well enough?

↳username1 well, I don't know, just wondering, but he's half Belgian

↳username5 I imagine their conversations to be mostly english mixed with dutch and french, very chaotic and people around don't get anything they say

↳yourfriend1 I can confirm this, it's very frustrating for a person who knows only english

↳username1 does Y/n know french?

↳y/n_verstappen I was forced to learn both french AND italian hanging out with Charles and Arthur, and with Lando I speak mostly english, but I try to mix some dutch into it, however no french here because I'm traumatized <3

↳username1 aaaaaa we love a multilingual queen 🫶

↳username3 so now Lando learns dutch for both his mother and his girlfriend 🥹

↳y/n_verstappen he has a lot to learn, but at least his flemish accent is kinda cute!!

[drdemonprince]

Re: autistic advice; i keep seeing people making fun of stuff like "are you in a place to hear bad news" or scripts like that. I grew up in an environment where it was common practice to just drop heavy subjects on people out of the blue, & I still find that intensely uncomfortable. But I've now had multiple people tell me that it makes them feel shitty when I ask, for example, "are you up for a dark subject?" & I don't really know how to square it away. I want to make sure that I'm not stepping on anyone's toes or making them feel ambushed or trapped, but apparently it makes some people feel like they're not allowed to have their feelings. I end up feeling pretty shitty about it, because like... it feels like either I have to be Rude (because it DOES feel rude to just drop a dark topic on someone) &/or risk having something shitty I can't deal with dropped in my lap, or else really upset people. I guess... is there a way to navigate this?

I would recommend being more specific.

People find phrases like "Are you in a place to hear something that might hurt you?" and "Are you up for a dark subject?" to be a bit presumptuous about what their emotional reactions will be or what they are capable of handling. It also can make what would have otherwise been a very unremarkable exchange become tinged with anticipatory anxiety.

When someone asks me a question like "are you up to hear something dark?" I might feel coddled and condescended to, rather than emotionally respected. Or if they ask me "are you prepared to hear something that might hurt you?" / "are you up for a serious conversation?" I think they're about to drop some serious emotional bomb on me, like that they're friend-dumping me for something horrible that I didn't realize I did. Then when it ends up being a meme they want to share or a question about a celebrity lawsuit or something i'm kind of pissed at the false alarm and the coddling that, rather than protecting me, made me feel worse.

In either case, rather than giving me time to emotionally prepare or interact when I am ready, these vague questions have introduced some kind signal of social or emotional threat. If anything, it increases the felt urgency to just have the damn conversation already and see what kind of monster is lurking behind the person's words. It makes me *less* likely to exercise control over when the conversation happens or when I see the upsetting thing.

So be specific. "Do you wanna see a disgusting meme?" "I want your opinion on something, but the question touches on sexual assault. Is that okay to talk about?" "I want to talk to you about a conflict I'm having with my other partner." "Can I ask you your opinion on this transphobia discourse?" Etc.

The more specific you can be about the subject and why you are asking about it, the more power you are giving the other person to actually decide what they want to engage with. When someone asks me if I am willing to discuss something dark, I really have no idea what to say. They're imposing their judgement of what is a dark or upsetting topic onto me, when really they have no idea what I might find triggering and what I might really enjoy getting to talk about.

Rather than trying to protect me from something I haven't even encountered yet, you gotta let me encounter it, and actually trust that I will take care of myself. If I don't want to talk about sexual assault I won't, if I don't want to look at gross imagery I'll say no, if hearing one more bad thing about your other partner is going to make my jealousy fume, I am responsible for handling that. You're not responsible for my emotions.

It's good to notice which subjects your friends are especially sensitive to and what big triggers they have so that you can be considerate. My friends know I cant look at lots of blood flowing out of someone for instance and dont send me visuals/fics that feature, say, wrists being slit or blood being drawn. But if they forgot, I'd understand and just look away and squeal oh no i cant look at that get it away. And that would be fine. They are not responsible for my reactions to things.

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Letterman Jacket

Javier Peña x F!Reader oneshot

{ Main Masterlist }

Rating: E (18+ only)

Summary: Tensions come to a head between you and Javier on the private jet back to Bogotá after a long, frustrating day. Or rather - after six long, frustrating years of bad blood.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: My first PW(much)P, enemies to lovers, arguing, swearing, drinking, dirty talk, oral sex (F receiving), fingering, thigh riding, no use of Y/N, soft!Javier

Notes: After obsessing over this damn jacket forever, I finally pulled the trigger. This is my first ever Javier, and I know he’s not perfect, but my 2023 resolution is to not overthink things, and I had a blast writing this in a couple of days since the idea came to me. I’m so nervous posting this, but excited to have finally made a start with Javier. Please be gentle with me ❤️

P.S. I’m going on my honeymoon the next 2 weeks. I’m sure I’ll be lurking around, and I also have new content all queued up for @fuckyeahpedropascal! See you!

I’m still finding Javier’s voice, but my understanding and interpretation of this man so far is definitely shaped by @the-ginger-hedge-witch character analyses and The Crush (which I’m still catching up on). Thank you Professor Ren for sharing your insight into our favourite DEA agent 🥰

It’s cold.

Why is it cold in fucking Miami?

If only you’d checked the weather report beforehand - oh wait, that’s right. You weren’t exactly given much notice, even less detail, when the phone call came this morning. Not that 4am should count as "morning" in your books.

We found him.

Who?

Jurado. Take the first flight out to Curacao this morning, it’s in two hours. We’re taking him in and flying straight to Miami. Get the papers ready, he’ll be testifying tomorrow.

What the actual fuck, Peña -

You can’t even remember what you stuffed into your weekender bag after he hung up without another word. Mostly legal papers and pens and a change of clothes - all of which are now redundant. The bag hangs heavy in your grip, the taste of failure bitter in your mouth.

Something warm descends onto your shoulders, and you almost jump out of your skin, eyes wide as they snap up. Javier isn’t looking at you though, his unseeing gaze trained on the tips of his brown leather boots, hands in the pockets of his dark blue jeans. He trudges across the tarmac, the bravado that is usually so loud in his walk conspicuously absent.

Reaching up, you pull his jacket tighter with your free hand, the stretch of the fabric distorting the bold letters DEA emblazoned on the left lapel. He doesn’t wear it often - he’s in suits mostly these days, which you can tell pisses him off to no end. He almost never does his tie up properly, a subtle middle finger to the establishment, perhaps.

Your lips twitch despite yourself. Peña’s always been happier going on literal wild goose chases.

The jacket easily engulfs you, blocking out the unwelcome evening chill. You breathe in the faint but unmistakable scent of cigarettes and you can feel the weight of a full box swing against your side. He keeps insisting he’s trying to quit, but obviously not very hard.

Somehow, it doesn’t feel any warmer in the plane cabin, and you put your arms through the sleeves of the jacket properly before sinking heavily into one of the plush leather seats with a sigh, relieved to get off your sore feet.

You don’t notice the small plane taking off with just the two of you, sitting silently opposite each other until the flight path levels, at which point Javier promptly heads to the small bar at the end of the cabin and comes back with two generous glasses of whiskey.

Sipping in silence, you let your gaze settle on him, no subtlety left in the tank after your shitty day at twenty hours and counting. Javier, in turn, stares listlessly out of the window, uninterested in your scrutiny. Strands of mussed hair fall over his tired eyes, the dark circles underneath shadowing his entire countenance.

His pink shirt, which was drenched in sweat when he’d finally, finally caught up to Jurado in that square in Curacao, has long dried in the cool Miami air. And of course it’s tight and the neckline unbuttoned halfway down his chest, the poor fabric stretched to an inch of its life by his obnoxiously wide shoulders. It’s tucked into even tighter jeans that seem to struggle to contain all of him.

Honestly, it’s a damn miracle he could do any running at all in this ensemble.

You stare at the little fold-up table between the two of you. It had been covered in papers en route to Miami just hours ago, the Cali moneyman sitting exactly where you are now. Jurado agreed to the lesser charges of money laundering and racketeering in exchange for testifying for the DEA. You had him. He was in that interview room. The lawyers from the Miami county court were ready to take over.

But somehow, that smarmy, rotund excuse of a cartel lawyer got there first.

A heavy sigh catches your ear over the whir of the plane engines, and you watch as Javier drags one heavy hand over his face, the tips of his thick fingers resting above his pursed lips, before he shakes his head.

The words are out of your mouth before your head catches up. ‘Stop it.’

Dark eyes flicker your way, brows drawing into a frown. ‘What?’

Your empty glass clunks loudly when it hits the table. ‘Stop beating yourself up. We both know this is out of our hands. Quit the self-martyrdom bullshit.’

The grin comes quickly and sarcastically. You hate it. He’s never been big on smiles, but you’ve seen how his face can light up with a laugh over a drink, or at a good joke. From a distance, of course, and never in your direction. You’ve only ever had scowls and glares thrown your way.

You’re not alone though - these days, that’s all anyone ever gets from him.

Leaning back in his chair, one big palm cradling the bottom of the crystal tumbler that looks much smaller than it should, and the other resting on his thigh, Javier huffs a sardonic laugh. ‘Is that what you think of me?’

‘I don’t think it. I know it.’

‘You don’t know me,’ he answers coolly.

You roll your eyes. ‘Don’t flatter yourself, Peña. You’re not some pouty, brooding mystery to me. I’ve been cleaning up after your mess for six fucking years.’ Shaking your head, you can’t help adding, ‘Not that you’ve ever appreciated any of it.’

He gives you a derisive snort. ‘I wasn’t aware that I should be thanking you for getting in my way at every turn.’

‘Getting in your way?’ you chuckle mirthlessly. ‘I’ve been trying to keep you out of jail, asshole.’

‘Maybe you shouldn’t be.’

‘Is this what all this is about? Some survivor’s guilt bullshit?’ Unperturbed by his silence, you press on. ‘Well guess what, I don’t work for you. Having the attaché in jail isn’t really a good look for our employer, so bad news, you’re a free man as long as I’m legal counsel for the DEA.’

‘It would make my life a lot fucking easier if you weren’t.’

The words are so quiet, so matter-of-fact, they have no right to hit you as hard as they do. You’re horrified to feel the sting of tears on the seam of your eyelashes, and your lips part wordlessly before you regain your voice. ‘Fuck you, Peña.’

He winces and sits up, setting his glass next to yours on the table. ‘Shit. That came out wrong -’

Nails dig into your palms as hurt threatens to claw its out of the carefully locked compartment where you keep it. ‘No, I think it came out exactly as you meant it. You’ve hated me since day one.’

‘I don’t hate you -’

You glare at him. ‘You think I don’t know what people say behind my back over drinks at the embassy bar, when I’m stuck in the office dealing with whatever legal bullshit you’ve dug yourself into? I bet you like a good laugh at my expense.’

Shifting forward in his seat, Javier reaches out and grabs your left wrist. ‘Stop it. I don’t. You know I wouldn’t.’

You try to pull back but he doesn’t budge, easily holding you in place. You bite out, ‘I’ll quit if that’s what you want. Might as well make both of our lives easier with one resignation letter.’

Javier’s hold on you tightens, and he bares his teeth in frustration. ‘That’s not what I want.’

‘That’s exactly what you said you wanted just now. Why don’t you make up your fucking mind, Peña?’ you snap back.

‘I can’t,’ he snarls, his other hand finding your free wrist, almost jolting you out of your seat. He’s so close you can smell the whiskey on his breath. ‘I’ve never been able to with you.’

You go as still as the air around you, the mixed signals scrambling the wires in your already exhausted head. You narrow your eyes and him and hiss, ‘What?’

Javier heaves a sigh, breathing out the words through gritted teeth and eyes screwed shut. ‘You drive me up a fucking wall, woman.’

Anger surges in you, and you manage to yank both of your wrists free. Pushing him away, you spit at him with all the venom you can muster. ‘Fuck you, too!’

He growls, raking one hand through his hair before slamming it onto the fold-up table, making the glasses clink when they knock together from the force. ‘Goddamnit, won’t you just hear me? I can’t decide if I want you to shut the fuck up or if I just - want you.’

You watch his broad chest rise and fall in quick succession as he slumps in his chair, as if the last two words that are still ringing in your ears knocked the wind out of him.

Want you.

His eyes follow from under thick lashes when you reach out for the glasses, relocating them to the carpeted floor on the other side of your chair, before finding the lever underneath the table and folding it down. And you don’t miss the way his stare falls to your legs as you cross them deliberately, skirt hitching higher up, his Adam’s apple bobbing thickly in the column of his neck.

You tilt your head to one side in a challenge. ‘Well? What are you going to do about it, then?’

He’s out of his chair and on you in a beat, his arms caging you in as you pull him close by the collar of his shirt. You murmur against his lips, ‘You’re a fucking asshole, Peña.’

‘I know. Let me make it up to you -’ The words barely make it out of his mouth before he kisses you, lips warm and wet and pressing into yours insistently.

You let out a surprised yelp when Javier tugs you onto your feet, hot hands pushing his jacket off your shoulders but leaving it hanging from the crook of your arms. Goosebumps bloom where his fingers brush your sternum as he unbuttons your sleeveless shirt underneath, tugging it free from where it’s neatly tucked into your skirt.

You retort, ‘You’re going to make up for six years of bad blood on a three-hour flight?’

‘Well, what are you doing tomorrow?’ he asks almost conversationally, and with a casual flick, he undoes the front clasp of your bra. He breathes a raspy fuck as he palms your tits reverently, the contact making you shudder.

‘Actually, I was going to have a sit down with you. A little birdy told me some outrageous story about the DEA attaché endorsing wiretapping,’ you reply teasingly, wrestling with the small buttons on his shirt.

Javier chuckles, clever fingers sliding down your back and undoing the zipper on your pencil skirt, which pools about your now bare feet after kicking off your sensible low heels. ‘Fucking Stoddard. I knew he'd tattle on me.’

‘You better come prepared with a good defence, Peña,’ you quip, letting him spin you around and ease you into his seat, the leather still warm under your bare thighs. His pink shirt hangs open as he looms over you, so broad that he’s the only thing you see.

He hums and kisses down the side of your neck, stopping to suck on your pulse point. ‘How about a bit of incentive to go easy on me instead, hmm?’

You arch an eyebrow while he gets on one knee, then the other, but there’s no denying the wild rabbiting of your pulse despite your banter. ‘Bribery? Just one of the dirty tricks up your sleeves, Agent Peña?’

He peels your panties down the length of your thighs unhurriedly, smirking at the way you bite into your bottom lip as the scrap of fabric makes its descent. He hooks your right leg on his shoulder, then the left one, opening you up to his dark gaze as he smirks, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet, cariño.’

It’s been too long. Too fucking long since you’ve been with anyone. Your hips arch clean off the leather seat at the first broad stroke of his tongue, confidently charting its way all the way up your folds. His weathered palms hold your thighs firmly apart as you writhe in his grip because it’s too much.

‘Javier,’ you breathe, meeting his almost cocky gaze as he stares up at you. He suckles wetly at your clit, lips puckering, and you buck hard into his mouth.

Granting you a brief reprieve, he moves off you with a wet smack of his lips and teases, ‘Am I making a good case for myself?’

‘Clearly not good enough if I’m still speaking in complete sentences,’ you somehow manage to counter.

He grins at you - a real one that lifts both corners of his mouth and chases away the shadows of his demons, and it has absolutely no business making your heart lurch the way that it does. ‘Touché, cariño.’

There’s no polite way of putting this. Javier eats you, meticulous and sloppy in turn, until your slick and his spit trail down the inside of your legs, and you feel the leather growing slippery underneath your bare ass. You can hear yourself over the roar of the plane engines, and you babble incoherently when he pushes his tongue into your pussy. ‘Javier, Javi -’

‘Gonna cum for me, cariño?’ He slurs as he sinks one, and then two fingers into you, biting out a filthy groan at how wet you are.

You nod desperately, finding purchase on his broad shoulders. ‘I’m so close, please -’

Pumping his fingers inside you until you squelch around them, he ducks down and laves your clit in earnest, pushing you until there’s nothing left - no air, no sound, no time and space - all the oxygen is sucked out of your lungs and your ears pop, and you cum so fucking hard with your hands tangled in his curls and his name on your lips.

‘Fuck, you’re so beautiful,’ he murmurs almost absent-mindedly, chasing your skin when you try to push him away. His moustache scrapes your thighs and sends a shudder running through you as you catch your breath. ‘I’m an idiot for waiting this long.’

Gently setting your legs down - not that you can feel them anyway - Javier turns his face to his right shoulder, and you watch in rapture as he smears the slick coating his mouth and chin onto his pink shirt, the wet spot staining the fabric.

Your lip curls in giddy amusement as you think to yourself - you look good on him.

Then he leans up to kiss you, and your head spins at the taste of yourself on his tongue and your scent on his moustache.

Pushing back the loose locks that now curl against his forehead, you sass, ‘That’s one trick. Are you going to show me another, Agent Peña?’

Without warning, his hands slide under your bare buttocks and he lifts you clean off the seat. You laugh and close your grip around his upper arms, feeling his muscles flex under your palms. You know without looking how his biceps must be straining against the short sleeves of his shirt.

He falls heavily into the chair with you straddling him, and you protest, ‘Stop, Javi, I’m going to make a mess of your jeans.’

‘I want you to make a mess,’ he declares in his rich baritone. ‘Want your pussy to soak my jeans, cariño.’

Desire flashes hot and fast up and down your spine. ‘But Javi, I just came -’ you break off as he grasps your hips and settles you onto his right thigh.

‘You can cum again,’ he shrugs with a cocksure definitiveness, coaxing a moan from you when he shifts and your folds drag along the denim. ‘Ride me, cariño.’

‘But what about you?’ You trace one palm down his bare chest and soft stomach to rest on the prominent bulge straining against the front of his tight jeans. He chokes when you give his erection a bold squeeze through the denim, which has you grinning smugly.

Covering your hand with his, he brings it up to kiss it softly. ‘Another time, it’s been a long day. Now - can I get back to making it up to you?’

Winding your arms around his neck, you rock against his thigh, feeling the wet imprint of the slick you leave behind on the coarse fabric as you move back and forth. His palms squeeze the swell of your ass reassuringly but loose enough so that you can find your own rhythm.

Javier patiently mouths his way down your neck and further, sucking hard on one nipple and then the other, making you throw your head back in a gasp.

‘You look so good wearing my jacket with your gorgeous tits out,’ he praises you, letting go of your hips to push your breasts together and laps at the soft flesh with his tongue.

‘Javier,’ you whine, tipping forward to bury your face in the long line of his neck.

The same neck you’ve sometimes wanted to wring in the heat of the moment, but also caught yourself staring at when he cradles the office phone in the crook of his shoulder. You can taste the salt on his skin - sweat and sea breeze and sunshine - and when the breath catches in his throat, your hips stutter, your orgasm so close to the surface.

As if sensing you need a bit of help, he whispers into your ear. ‘I can feel you so wet for me through my jeans, cariño. You’re doing so good for me.’

Feeling his nails dig into you as he guides you over his thigh, you whimper needily, ‘I’m so close.’

‘I know you are. You can do it - cum on my thigh.’

‘Oh fuck,’ you choke, pressing your forehead into his as you begin to shake, and he brushes his nose soothingly against yours. The impending vertigo sends you crashing into him, hands trembling on his shoulders, torn between clinging on and letting go. ‘Javi - I’m cumming, oh my god -’

And then he’s lunging towards you in a deep kiss, tongues tangling as you break again, a moan in his windpipe when he feels your pussy leak into his jeans as it clenches and clenches around nothing. Needing air, you pull back to slump bonelessly against him, panting hard into his neck, his palms drawing circles over your back.

You only realise you’ve drifted off when a sudden drop in altitude wakes you, and the PA system cackles to life with the captain’s ten-minute warning to landing. From the corner of your eye, you catch Javier watching you with a lopsided smile.

You duck your head sheepishly. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.’

‘Well, you did have a 4am wakeup call,’ he quips.

Sitting back on your haunches, you do up your bra and then the buttons on your now very crumpled shirt. Easing off him on wobbly legs, you pick up your panties and skirt from the floor and dress yourself quickly, smoothing out the wrinkles as best as you can. You smile at Javier, watching him he button up his pink shirt, stopping at the fourth one as always.

Stepping in between his spread legs, hands on his upper thighs, you press a soft kiss to his lips. You smile and drag a finger over the wet spot you left on his jeans. ‘That was fun.’

The corners of his eyes crinkle and he swipes his thumb across your bottom lip. ‘That might be an understatement of criminal proportions.’

You make to take off his jacket, but Javier shakes his head, tugging on the collar so it sits squarely on your shoulders. ‘Keep it. It looks better on you anyway.’

You can’t tell if it’s actually warmer when you step off the plane or if it’s the afterglow, but you keep the jacket on. Your respective cars are waiting on the airstrip next to each other, and Javier loads your weekender bag into the backseat before opening the door on the driver’s side, shutting it after you climb in.

You palm the steering wheel self-consciously as you stare at each other in a slightly awkward lull, before clearing your throat. ‘So, 9am sharp tomorrow at the 3rd floor conference room, Agent Peña?’

Javier smirks, but his eyes are warm as he shifts on his feet, leaning one elbow on the open window and cocks his head to one side. ‘Depends. Will you be wearing my letterman jacket?’

A bark of laughter escapes you. ‘Your letterman jacket? Should I pick up matching friendship bracelets for us before our meeting?’

With a lighthearted shake of his head, Javier half-turns to leave before stopping abruptly. Tapping two fingers on the window frame, he hesitates briefly, before looking up at you with earnest eyes, his voice quiet and almost solemn in its sincerity. ‘Thank you.’

Watching him go, your chest blooms with warmth at the eight letters and two little words you’ve waited six years to hear.

At twenty-seven minutes to nine the next morning, you’re flinging open the front door of your apartment, car keys jingling and thermos balanced precariously in one hand, when a flash of white on navy catches your attention.

For a long moment, you stand off dramatically with the jacket draped across the back of a kitchen chair, the letters DEA staring back at you - before you reach for it and shrug it on with a silly grin.

What can you say? You’ve always had a thing for letterman jackets.

More notes: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! Comments and reblogs are always encouraged and so appreciated ❤️

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics as always 💕

[wearethecyclones]

continuing a positivity chain started by @thatmexisaurusrex! what are five cute headcanons you have about BuckTommy or Tommy? 🥰

YAAS this is so cute! I love feeling included, ty Arti haha

Tommy was so FLABBERGASTED after the first time he kissed Buck that he actually left earlier than he needed to for his shift because he had to go sit in his car and scream a little. He was also in such a good mood for the whole shift and got made fun of for it.

He has a lot of manly man hobbies. Cars, MMA, sports, etc. But he's also big on Bravo reality shows.

He actually has a lot of friends (which I feel like is kinda canon) but he really truly does feel like a lone wolf with few close connections/like he doesn't matter a lot to most of these friends. Buck folding him into his little found family and re-enforcing his pre-existing friendships with some of those people helps him recognize that fact more.

Tommy is suuuuch a doting loving caring boyfriend, Buck has no idea what to do with it because he's kinda always been the one putting in effort. He kinda decided with Natalia to match energy (see: him not really pursuing her after she left in a huff etc etc) and he's trying to keep that mentality up with Tommy. And listen, that's what we've seen so far. Tommy shows up to talk things out and kisses him? Great, time for Buck to show up and talk things out (post shitty first date) and kiss the fuck out of him (hospital). Making a point to make time for each other in their busy schedules etc. But then Tommy is SUCH a flowers for no reason, door opening goddamn gentleman that Buck has no idea what to do with the man. (He gonna match that FREAK. Tommy is gonna get so spoiled right back and HE has never really had that. It's cute!!)

Which leads me to my half assed last thought which is just that they simply match each other in terms of effort and romance and also in relationship wounds and attachment issues. Their biggest fights kinda come from where those things clash and trigger each other. But also... they both feel really seen and understood and appreciated and it's cute. :)

[y-vna]

Just so it's clear, one of my big dni crits is this:

TW: My rant includes HEAVY topics of ed (eating disorders) and intentionally starving yourself/unhealthy weight loss 🙁.

This post is also ULTRA long, will definitely contain grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm not going to say 100% everything here is accurate information, as I'm a human and I make mistakes too.

Let me get this clear, I dont mean anyone harm with this post. My intention isn't to hate or attack/hurt anyone to make them feel upset. I know that having an ed is a serious matter. I have friends and family who actively have/had these kinds of eds, so im not uneducated on this subject and I do understand it to a very in-depth degree. This is not to say I know everything about this topic, however.

It is definitely not easy to recover from, and lots of people struggle from it every day. I am NOT saying people with this disorder are any less human than anyone else. I'm saying it's toxic for those who do have it since it actually harms your body a lot, and pushing it on others (not the fact you have it in the first place) is something I don't support.

So respectfully, if you do support/promote eds as a positive thing, or are/follow/interact with blogs who do, BLOCK ME AND DNI. thank you.

I love everyone for who they are inside, regardless of what their body looks like. And I'm telling you right now, as someone who tried so hard to have a perfect body and stop eating bc im super insecure, it's not worth it, and it makes you feel so shitty. I love you, whoever is reading this, no matter what. So please don't change who you are just to make others happy :( <3

--

So I was looking thru tumblr, and this one post kept getting shown to me where people were talking about basically the idea of: "its worth it to keep losing that undesired weight, you'll see results soon" as like a motivational thing. The tags (straight up tells you it's supposed to be inspo to becoming skinny and supports the idea having an ed is the only way to get a dream bod), and their whole blog had ed encouragement/motivation. To keep...starving, i guess.?? Despite their user being about being strong and healthy, nothing about this is healthy or keeps your body strong.

I didn't decide to write a whole rant about just that part of the post because I didn't start getting super concerned until i read the notes/comments (since i had seen a lot of these 'tw : ed' blogs before already). What I saw was that tons of users were promoting starving yourself as a goal and a good thing, and basically glorifying having an ed. And also using kpop idols with skinny and perfect figures like wonyoung to tell others that (almost a literal direct quote from this user-) 'us ed people don't want to be helped and we won't stop starving ourselves until we reach the weight we want.'

"You see it as negativity cause you're not disordered." KEEP IN MIND THE PERSON THEY'RE TALKING TO USED TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN ED (the screenshot below is the person they were talking to). I understand you can't push people to get help if they don't want it, but you have to draw a line when you start saying that every person with ed doesn't want help, which just isnt true. I looked at their blog, and it was all just calculating how many calories they ate and burned every day. Most of the posts they basically only totaled 300 calories a day. THAT IS SUPER SICK ☹️. An average human needs like 2000+ calories a day. It actively influences people to copy them by posting and blogging this SUPER unhealthy weight loss. It IS NOT positive on any level. It does nothing good for you. You won't feel any happier when you look in the mirror if all you can feel is pure hunger because you won't give your body what it needs. This is so sad to me because all the comments had people trying to ask how to start starving themselves, and every blog I clicked on all had ed triggers on their posts and bios. Some of those blogs were saying NOT to become like them because they can't see themselves recovering now that they're in too deep.

As said by people online who actually had and got through having an ed, they have explained it is very unhealthy and they were glad to recover. So even though I do not have an ed, and you might think I shouldn't be "judging" people who have them, there are plenty of formerly ed diagnosed people who know the bad effect it has on others/had on them because they can accurately relate. You can still educate people on a subject even if you yourself do not have to suffer from it/have it, as long as you're doing it properly with proven facts (literally all credible research you do anywhere backed by science and experts will prove eds aren't healthy). People educate themselves to teach others about other illnesses, ongoing or past wars in history, etc, they don't have firsthand experience with/from. And they can still be just as valid sometimes.

My whole point here is that on tumblr and so many other social media platforms, I keep seeing people (posts like this and whole blogs centered around this stuff,) encouraging (mainly young) girls to stop eating altogether to have a body that society and other people are more satisfied with. That's why, for a while, I also tried to do the same because of the people saying it was a positive thing to gain a bad relationship with food and start counting your calories to be perfect. I'm also someone who struggles with body image and being shamed for gaining weight. But at some point hou need to realize hurting your body and mental state is SO WRONG. NOBODY is perfect. So don't push you or anyone else to be. I learned this, and I get its super hard to ignore the judgment forced onto you by society and your surroundings, but there will be people who appreciate you just how you are now. Like me.

So with all that said, the moral here is:

Don't starve urself (on purpose. Bc some people genuinely have trouble eating and starve themselves non intentionally. I have friends who do this 😭)

You're perfect how u are now without being as slim as your idols (and even K-pop idols don't tell others usually to be like them because they know that their companies forcing them to strictly control their weight isn't something they want fans to look up to).

Don't force (potential) ed on others

Don't encourage unhealthy relationship with your body and food

I do support people with eds, as long as they aren't trying to make it something others should look up to, and aspire to have.

If you are someone who wants to normalize having an ed as healthy or positive, please do not interact with this blog and feel free to block me :(

Thank you for reading, have a good day and ily for whoever is reading this. 💗💖💓💕

[bonefall]

Just curious, is Russetfur still Raggedstar’s half sister in this universe or are they completely unrelated now? Also do you have anything on Boulder? He was always one of my favorite background cats

If they are half-sibs, it's not relevant! They won't know or care.

Chelford cats are matriarchal. Sires don't inherently play a role in the lives of their children, and seeking that sort of company is something a parent keeps discreet. Uncles and brothers fill the role of "father" in raising the kittens, with cats tracking their lineages through mothers

So Russet has no idea who her father is and doesn't care. Ngl, I also just... don't care about Hal lmaooo

(Imagine writing a super edition about one of your most popular characters, with a story that people have been begging to hear in detail for years, and then dedicating the entire opening to her shitty husband's daddy issues. Couldn't be me.)

Instead, Russetfur is related to the leader of BloodClan at that time. Brick is her sister. I might make Hal her uncle or older brother.

The conflict that occurs between BloodClan and ShadowClan at this time will cause the leader to be killed suddenly, triggering the Frenzy, the period of time during which a new leader is chosen. Pinestar is already having issues over in ThunderClan, and starts seriously thinking about leaving to go help out.

(Though it's certainly not his last straw.)

In any case... if Russetfur and her buddy Boulder had been having second thoughts about Clan life, getting the BloodClan Leader killed and burned the hell out of THAT bridge.

Anyway.

Russetfur and Boulder are in danger during TigerClan. Serious danger. They were loyal to Brokenstar and were safe as long as they were good warriors, but Tigerstar had his eye on them.

So, I feel they may have supported Deerfoot's Rebels, but deniably. I want Blackstar picking Russetfur to be heavily based on her participation, but I also need her to stay safe.

(Might end up having her escape and take refuge with Mistyfoot...)

Boulder is a lot more passive. I like him a LOT and want to expand his role a bit, just because... I Like Him. Literally just blorbo lmao. It's funny how the fandom consensus is just, "this guy's cool!"

I go back and forth on when Boulder's kids are born, and who they are. But he WILL be having kids

I'm set on Whitethroat being one of them, and leaning towards Wetfoot being another.

If Wetfoot is one of Boulder's kids, Firestar knows Boulder as a concerned dad. Wetfoot is going to get a bigger role as a friend in ShadowClan and Deerfoot Rebel.

In my head, Boulder likes the community of Clan life more than the violence, but because he's huge and served under tyrannical leaders he gets forced into battles he doesn't enjoy.

He massively regrets following Russetfur, honestly. He doesn't want to leave and go rebuild his reputation in BloodClan... but he also wishes he never came here.

In my heart, TPB is like the WORST period in this poor guy's life. Background character going through an absolute WRINGER

He's anxious for himself, anxious for his friends, anxious for his kids. Loses Whitethroat. Might lose Wetfoot to the Plague. Serves under TigerClan, terrified that if he isn't a perfect warrior he will get killed.

(And he's right. His fear is warranted. If Russetfur does something, like if I go with her being a refugee in ThunderClan, HE is going to get punished.)

And, of course, he is eventually used by Tigerstar to open up talks with BloodClan.

Even though he has Sasha, Nightwhisper, and Jaggedtooth to serve the same purpose... Tigerstar chooses Boulder.

He doesn't trust Jaggedtooth after he "fails" to contain the prisoners that escape to ThunderClan. He "proved" his loyalty by following his order to execute Deerfoot, but Jaggedtooth is now at the bottom of the pecking order.

Sasha is being reduced to a mate Tigerstar can control, even though she served as one of his mercenaries. He doesn't give her ANY agency.

Nightwhisper is a stupid tool, in Tigerstar's eyes. He does not respect his intelligence, just his eagerness.

So Boulder is chosen. He's smart enough to translate properly, fearful enough to do what Tigerstar says, has lived long enough as a Clan cat... and if he HAS any remaining kids, there is the implicit threat that if Boulder tries something funny, his child is who will pay for it.

After TigerClan ends, I feel like Boulder is desperate to retire early, but also feels like he can't ask for it. He's only survived this long because of his usefulness. It would be hard to trust that he can just... not serve, anymore.

If I can scrounge up more kits for ShadowClan (IT'S SO SMALL), I also would like him to end up having another litter mid-Po3.

Hopefully one of the kids of his first survived, so I can play around with the harrowing dynamic of, "Our dad is so much happier while raising you... I envy my younger sibling's childhood."

And on a final note, Boulder is probably going to get a Warrior Name during TPB. It doesn't really make sense that he just keeps his old one, unfortunately, when Clan Culture is at its most xenophobic and he's in active danger. He'll get Boulder back as a request between TPB and TNP.

[many-but-one]

I really admired you and looked up to you. Parts of our system were influenced by your journey to do the same. Our gatekeeper watched many of your videos and found them to be helpful. However, due to your association with a certain person, and after what I've been hearing about them influencing other systems to think they have a ramcoa history when they don't, I don't trust myself anymore. I don't know if I'm a real survivor anymore, maybe I was just led to believe I had that history due to the amount of information I was taking in from various sources. I wish I could still trust you, but I don't know if I can anymore. I also don't think it's a good idea to go into such graphic detail about your trauma. It caused me to do the same and feel that it was okay to do so. And I kept triggering other alters due to that. I kept pushing and pushing through it. And I did make progress with certain alters, but I think it really put me in an unhealthy state of mind too. I don't think I was ready to be dealing with that. Now we have a fight-reponse alter who will stop at nothing to ensure we deprogram and become free, even if at the expense of other alters and our overall wellbeing. He only cares that we keep fighting, that we tell our therapist information about our system and get her to believe us and help us, even though it's a lot for some alters. He's become a very dominant member of the system now, and has even tried to hurt persecutors before they can hurt us.

Hi anon,

I am assuming you are talking about the Legion system. Yes, I was friends with them for some time. About a year or so. However, I’m no longer friends with them and do not associate with them. I’m not sure why you think my association with them has anything to do with them trying to make people believe they have ramcoa when they don’t. I wasn’t involved in their interpersonal business with others. I apologize if this makes you feel like you can’t trust yourself or is making you go into denial, but I fail to see how this is somehow my fault.

Blaming me for sharing information about ramcoa and my trauma and saying you think it led you to believe you had something you may or may not have is not my fault. I educate about ramcoa in efforts to help others who have it. I make it very clear on both my tumblr and my tiktok that I don’t do armchair diagnoses. So you came to this conclusion yourself, and you coming to that conclusion by watching my content or reading my content has nothing to do with me. I’m not trying to influence anyone to do things that are unsafe in therapy (like deprogramming too fast), and just because you saw me talking about my trauma history made you do the same does not mean I forced you to do so. Placing all of this blame on me, an internet stranger who is well within their right to talk about these subjects, is incredibly unreasonable.

I understand you may feel betrayed by the situation that happened with Legion, but imagine how I feel? They were my best friend and I lost them to TERF ideology, even though I tried to warn them not to go down that path. And I have learned a lot of things from other people that I never knew about them, because I don’t really interact with much people online, so I was never aware of their actions outside of the ones they did with me. Learning that I was friends with someone who did some shitty stuff that I never knew about has been devastating.

However, blaming me or even Legion for how your system has chosen to heal is absurd. Because I tell people deprogramming is possible and share info on ramcoa and how to deprogram, suddenly it’s my fault that an internet stranger’s system is going about things in a way that is causing them distress? And trying to tell me not to share my trauma because it made you decide to share your trauma too? No, I didn’t make you do anything.

Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do on my healing journey. Educating the best I can and sharing The Horrors (which are always properly TW’d for the record, so you are allowed to scroll away if it’s not something you want to see) has helped our system heal, grow, and find community. I won’t apologize for doing so, but I am willing to apologize that you feel that it made you take actions that weren’t the best for your system’s healing process. However, placing all of the blame on me for this is immature and ridiculous. You are responsible for what information you take in and what you do with it. In the past, I have made it clear that my information is not a diagnostic tool and I’m not a therapist. What you do with the information I share is completely out of my control because I don’t know you and I am not your therapist.

That’s all I can really say here. I am a bit appalled that you’ve not only come to the conclusion that all of your problems in therapy/system healing are somehow my fault, but you’ve also decided to try and tell me directly that this is so. Your actions you take in healing aren’t something that I can control.

If I can offer some advice here—slow down. Help your protector alter who is trying to speed run this understand that speedrunning the healing process will only cause more problems. Help parts understand that trying to go gung ho into the healing journey before everyone is ready to go that direction will only cause more problems. And lastly, if you think consuming my content has been detrimental to your healing process, block me. Because I’m not going to be silent about ramcoa or what I went through. I will never be silent again.

[machinesonix]

Gang, I love the Harkonnens. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t endorse the Harknonnens, but there is something really refreshing about unsanitized villains. They aren’t inhuman slaves to Morgoth, they aren’t seeking restitution for some sort of childhood trauma with dalmatians, they are just shitty, weird people and we get to talk about how those people think without trying to excuse it. What really made me fall in love is the sheer alien weirdness of Geidi Prime in the 1984 movie, and if you haven’t seen that I really recommend you check that out. I feel like there should be some sort of trigger warning, but I don’t really know how I’d tag it so use your best discretion. Today I want to zoom in on a Harkonnen scene towards the end of the first book that I personally would like to see in some sort of extended cut. Let’s dig in.

I’m gonna start off by reminding everyone about the most famous scene in the franchise right at the beginning. You know it. The pain box. ‘I hold at your neck the gom jabbar, it’s poison kills only animals.’ Mohaim is testing Paul’s ability to delay gratification by threatening to stab him with a poison needle if he pulls out of the pain box. We've all seen the memes. Now let's talk about Feyd.

In the book, the whole un-drugged gladiator thing was Feyd's own doing. See, Feyd's family doesn't take him very seriously. He's been chosen as the na-Baron because he's got charisma and he'll look like the savior of Arakkis after Rabban and Vladimir, but he’s a big showboater that has all his fights rigged. By conspiring with Thufir to get a real Atredies soldier into the arena with him, he is forcing his family to realize how important he is to them. If something happens to him, everything goes up in smoke. But he's also given a chance to demonstrate that he is competent (even if he's cheating with a poisoned blade and some selective brainwashing of the undrugged slave.) The seduction with Lady Fenrig happens off screen, but I think in both Herbert and Villinueve's telling of the story, both of these show us this conflict Feyd has with the pressures of his family whether they're tests from the Baron or something he does to himself in response to those pressures. Finally, and most importantly to Feyd, when the Baron executes his slavemaster for slipping up with the gladiators, the next slavemaster is on Feyd's payroll.

Years down the line the Baron finds a poison needle hidden on one of his slave boys and immediately knows what's up. Feyd is trying to claim the Baron's seat and he's been planning on it ever since He calls Feyd in to make him watch as his entire staff and harem is executed on a whim. Here's where we get the absolute juicy thematic inversion. This shit makes me salivate in a way I might want to talk with a therapist about. The Baron says ‘Feyd, you know what this whole poison needle business tells me? You don't know where your priorities are. I am working on setting up the Harkonnens for generations to come and you're so laser focused on the inheritance you haven’t put any thought into what comes next. So stop trying to kill me and let's talk about your future.’

Feyd-Rautha is, by Bene Gesserit standards, an animal. In the Villinueve film we kinda skirt around the idea by hearing he's such a weirdo that the nerve induction gets him off, but I think this scene here really helps to illustrate why Paul might be the Kwizatz Haderach and Feyd has no shot. They've both got the genetics and the ability to win over a crowd. Nobody saw it coming, but the Kwizatz Haderach's ultimate purpose is to wage the war that will literally end all wars, you'd think Feyd-Murder-For-Fun-Rautha would be a shoe-in to traumatize humanity to violence once and for all. But the fact he'd be good at it is what makes him ineligible. The Kwizatz Haderach can't be someone who thinks in the short term. If Paul didn't have the big picture in mind, he would have fled from the violent future he saw himself being responsible for. If Feyd were in his shoes, there is no way he could stop from getting lost in the sauce. Feyd orchestrated his own gom jabbar in the attempt on his uncle's life, and he failed. Even if he saw the same path to save humanity, he'd have too many opportunities to indulge his glory seeking.

[mha-grievances]

Sorry for not being on in, like, forever. Life’s just gotten in the way.

Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to talk about today. What I really wanted to focus on is something I’ve been thinking a lot on lately, and that’s the idea of asshole characters.

Obviously asshole characters come in all shapes and sizes. Each have their own motivations for being an asshole and/or unfriendly individual. Katsuki, Shota, and Hitoshi are asshole characters themselves, but why is it that I dislike them so much?

At first I thought I didn’t like asshole characters in general. However, I then remembered that there are several characters people would classify as assholes/unfriendly individuals that are characters I adore. Lysithea from Fire Emblem 2 Houses and Natsuki from Doki Doki Literature Club are characters who are rough around the edges and aren’t nice to people immediately. The reasons behind their behavior aren’t too far off from why Shota and Hitoshi act the way they do, that being trauma, so why am I able to look past their behavior and not that of Shota and Hitoshi? With Katsuki, it’s obvious, but the other two had me scratching my head for a bit.

The answer, outside of the fact that Lysithea and Natsuki are multi-layered characters written far better than Shota and Hitoshi, is that the girls are REACTIVE assholes while Hitoshi and Shota are ACTIVE assholes.

What do I mean by that? Well both Lysithea and Natsuki for the most part keep to themselves. Something that someone does ends up causing them to snap. For Lysithea, it’s when she feels that her time is being wasted after someone approaches her about something irrelevant. For Natsuki, it’s a defensive mechanism triggered by a perceived attack on her character. Now, is that an excuse for their behavior? No. There are better ways to defend yourself and to get people to stop talking to you, but it’s at least understandable that they’d snap due to their traumas.

Katsuki, Hitoshi, and Shota aren’t like that. When they’re an asshole, it isn’t because they’re provoked into being one by someone else’s actions, but because they’re the ones doing the provoking. Katsuki’s rude and aggressive to everyone around him, choosing to make the life of another boy absolutely miserable without any provocation. Hitoshi decides to mock 1-A and issue his “challenge” not because anyone approached him, but because he himself is looking for trouble. Yeah, Katsuki gave off a shitty first impression, but Hitoshi already was planning on challenging 1-A from the beginning. Shota’s the one who controls his teaching style and is a position of authority. Rather than do his job, he’d rather tear someone down.

Am I supposed to sympathize with these so-called heroes? I for the life of me can’t seem to do so. Meanwhile, with characters like Lysithea and Natsuki, I can because they don’t mean to be an asshole, it’s just that they want to be left alone.

Now, am I saying reactive assholes are better characters than proactive assholes? No. Proactive assholes can have great character development. The problem is that proactive assholes are tougher to warm up to, especially when they’re meant to characters the audience is meant to root for. MHA’s writing does nothing TO make people want to root for these guys. They’re just assholes who wanna throw their weight around and never receive punishment for it/are called out for it. Hell, MHA seems to think these characters ARE in the right for being the way they are and/or doesn’t take the fact that they are assholes seriously (looking at you Katsuki).

Anyways, I thought I’d write this up to really explain more of my thought process and why Katsuki, Hitoshi, and Shota bother me so much whereas I find myself adoring characters such as Lysithea and Natsuki.

[winniethewife]

Kinktober Day 21

Day Twenty One: Hate sex (Edgin Darvis x reader)

Warnings: smut under the cut, nsfw, 18+, FemBodied, tit play, grinding, fingering, getting caught

Minors DNI

Words: 943

The two sat in the cramped uncomfortable dungeon room. Of course Edgin had triggered a trap that got them both stuck in a small room, waiting to see if the rest of their party will actually find them or if they’re stuck in there. She was trying to sit as far away from him as possible. She could hardly stand the bard. She really only stayed because she was good friends with basically everyone else but of course when she gets stuck in a shitty situation it had to be with the one guy she can’t stand.

“Come on its not that bad.”

“Just shut up. We wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for you.”

“Hey! I mean…you’re not wrong, but there’s no reason we can’t try to find the bright side here.”

“Ha. Very Funny Darvis.” She scoffed. They had no idea when the rest of the team would find them, or if they would find them. As they sat in the dungeon room with no escape and no room it started to get quite warm with the two of them sitting nearly on top of each other. At some point Edgin starts to take off his shirt, having already discarded his Jacket long ago

“Woah, hey what are you doing?” She averts her eyes quickly.

“It’s way too hot in here to just sit here with clothes and armor on…you know you’d feel better too if you just took some layers off” He seemed to be just being reasonable but at the same time she was hesitant.

“I…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” She replies. She takes off her cloak and bodice, feeling much relief, but she could feel his eyes on her. She crossed her arms over her chest trying her best to avoid making eye contact with him.

“You don’t have to cover up, you’re really quite something to look at.” He says in a flirtatious tone.

“You really don’t know how to keep your mouth closed do you.” She growls.

“C’mon. We’re both always bickering, always fighting, wouldn’t it be nice to be doing something else for once?” He continues to try to seduce her, He shifts in the small space so that they are sitting next to each other. “Would it be so bad…?” He starts to lean into her reaching over to take her chin and lift her face so that she’s looking at him. She feels slightly disarmed by his actions, unsure how to react, her mind still wanting to fight him, her body has other ideas. His hands on were on her more quickly than she was expecting, a small gasp leaves her lips as his hands run along her sides, he’s leaning in and his lips are on her neck, a soft moan leaves her lips. Her own hands on him running across his chest. He pulls away for a second.

“See it’s not all bad.”

“Oh shut up.” She kisses him harshly, straddling his lap to get a better angle. He let out a short grunt as she does this his hands drifting over the fabric of her brassiere pulling the fabric down to release her breasts cupping them in his hand squeezing them, gently rolling her nipples between his fingers.

“Fuck.” She groans against his lips, she rolls her hips into his, an eye for an eye right? He let out a moan.

“You really hate me that much huh?” Edgin laughs slightly, She bit down on his bottom lip, pulling at it. He lets out a soft groan. His hardening bulge pressing into her sensitive folds. She released his lip as he thrusts up into her. She moans grinding into him her hands grasping his shoulders. Edgin’s hands went to her hips and his mouth on her nipples, softly sucking, nipping and biting. Soft sounds of pleasure fill the chamber as the use the moment of sexual tension to get back at each other for every argument.

“Mph…fuck…c’mon, I’m gonna take you right now, right here, show you what happens when you keep up with this attitude.” Edgin pants as he flips her over on her back and starts to undress her bottom half, tearing at her clothes to reach his goal. As he finally gets her naked he leans back in to kiss her as he slides his fingers along her slick folds, fingers sliding in her hole, she groans into the kiss, her walls clenching on him as he moves in and out of her as he licked into her mouth, swallowing her moans. She bucks her hips up into his hand as he sinks his fingers into her, his thumb circling her clit. She feels the knot of pleasure in her abdomen tighten as she gets closer to her release.

“That’s it cum for me, cum for me then I’ll fuck you right? How does that sound hmm?”

“I hate your annoying fucking voice Darvis.” She growls, but her body still acts against her as her walls tighten at his words her breathing heavy as she feels him pushing deep inside her. As He curls his fingers hitting just the right spot she feels her climax wash over her. As they panted and looked at each other they heard the sounds of a mechanism activating and they are both startled as the wall next to them vanished to reveal the party.

“Well then, Good to see you two are getting along now.” Holga laughs as the two of them scramble to get dressed. Once they are continuing on Edgrin leans over and softly speaks

“Do you maybe want to finish that later?”

“Oh Piss off Darvis.”

~

Masterlist

Tag:@queerponcho

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ranma 1/2 If I Was Writing It

In no particular order

 .. I thought Ranma’s Soul of Ice was leading to a thing where we find out the transformations were the result of changes in Ki, and were just triggered by hot or cold water at first. But like, if you trained enough, you could trigger the transformations yourself, no water required. So Ranma goes on a quest (probs with Ryoga) about mastering this technique, initially with the idea of locking their Ki in “hot” so they won’t transform anymore. Like, with the thought of “Finally, I can stop transforming all the time!” Genma is really on the “Fianlly, My Son is a MAN”. Only, they get to wherever, and Ranma seems to be struggling HARD with mastering this technique. Wise Mentor, who’s teaching these kids, has to have a heart to heart with Ranma about the reason the guy is struggling is he doesn’t actually WANT to master this specific technique, he doesn’t WANT to be stuck as a guy all the time, and how that’s cool, it’s ok to be comfy as both a guy and a girl. So, Wise Mentor shows them a different technique that lets you switch back and forth at will, and Ranma does that one. Ryoga, though, he wants his tiny pig form gone, so he sticks out the other one. Then, There’d be a big fight at the end where Ranma has to switch rapidly between their faster, lighter girl form, and their heavier, stronger guy form. They get it to a point where they perfectly balance their Ki, and end up with an androgynous form that is both male and female at the same time. 

.. Oh, also, Ryoga’s pig form gets excised later via weird ghost-spirit powers. Like, keeping your Ki “heated” all the time is bad for you, so things go fucky during the Big Fight with Ranma, and we have to “draw out” the Inner Boar. Make it represent all the shitty things Ryoga’s done or something, the “pig” behaviour. Or have it represent Ryoga’s shitty self-esteem and depression. Ryoga has to fight it and defeat it to properly stop transforming.

.. Ryoga would have a bit more of a character arc. I think I’d focus on his terrible sense of direction. Make it a family curse he has to overcome. Then, during the journey, focus on how his life has sucked, how he doesn’t really have “friends”, or how he’s kind of depressed, or whatever. Whatever character you wanna write for him. After his direction curse is broken, the reverse joke is that it is now IMPOSSIBLE for Ryoga to get lost. Ever. At all. And he can find ANYTHING.

.. Also. Ryoga finally comes clean to Akane about P-chan. Ya know what, this is where we can have trans!fem Ryoga. Ryoga never thought it was weird because she never saw herself as a guy. Cue crisis.

.. Shampoo eventually confesses to Ranma that she does care about them, but is a pretty strict lesbian, and is only pursuing them because her tribe says so. Something something “strong blood, strong offspring” something “enemy or ally” mentality. Somehow, Ranma eventually proposes that he’s cool with Shampoo having his kid at some point, but they don’t want to marry her. Cologne is surprisingly chill with this.

.. Akane eventually figures out she’s pansexual. It’s around the time Ranma and Shampoo sort things out, and Akane has to come to terms with the fact all her intense emotions about Shampoo are actually attraction, not just anger or annoyance. Shampoo and Akane somehow end up on a date, where they beat the shit out of some douchebags. They make out. Soun is cool with this. Genma is not.

.. Mousse starts getting attracted to Ryoga, which confuses him, as he’s never been attracted to a man. Then Ryoga comes out as trans, and Mousse is like “ah! Ok!” You know what, they get together eventually. Why not?

.. Ukyo starts feeling like “ha! I won!” Cause all the other fiancées are “dropping out” of the running, but Ranma’s like “uh, sorry, you’re more like a sister to me???” Gonna be honest, not real sure where we go with these two, but Ukyo eventually comes to terms with the fact her attraction to Ranma is rooted in trying to prove her own femininity, and they stay as friends. Ukyo ends up dating Konatsu (the trans ninja).

.. Happosai:

dies at sea

Gets torn apart by demons

Suffers a heart attack

Swallowed by a monster

Falls into “Spring of Drowned Celibate”, then hit with that dumb ladle that freezes transformations

Eats a poisoned mushroom.

Murdered by mobsters

Falls into “Spring of Drowned Algae”, floats to the bottom

Dies of liver failure

Becomes the indentured servant of a demonic force

Gets isekai’d into [insert favourite piece of media here] and promptly crushed - by rocks or consequences

.. Ranma decides they don’t want to marry anyone. They have plenty of affection for their various friends and loved ones, but no real desire for marriage or sex. Actually, yeah, I’d make Ranma nonbinary/gender non-conforming, asexual, aromantic. They have plenty of love for people, much of it intense, but it’s all platonic, they just didn’t know that. I know I said before, possibly an eventual polyship with Akane and Shampoo, but nah. Ranma would have plenty of Queer Platonic relationships, where they stay with friends and cuddle and be very domestic, but Ranma has no burning desire for sex or romance.

.. Genma is, of course, not cool with his kid not marrying someone and getting the money to pay off all his debts. Genma tries to do something dumb. As Ranma has technically “married” Shampoo at this point (Amazons apparently have a version of marriage that’s “this guy fathered my kid, but we aren’t otherwise together”, who knew?), they are an Amazon, and attacking Ranma means the Amazons show up to beat his ass. He is forced to work for them.

.. Nabiki gets therapy, and STOPS TAKING PICTURES OF RANMA AND AKANE TO SELL TO PEOPLE.

-

Perfect beautiful I love it.

[oodlyenough]

6-4 turnabout storyteller

well, i hated this case. lmao

fundamentally my issue with this case is two things. first, the pacing of this game is terrible, because after you end 6-3 with the main plot kicking off in khura'in, you inexplicably get punted into a tutorial-style one-day-only nothingburger case with no relevance to anything. this is just such an absurd way to structure the narrative.

second, the fact that it's an athena case with simon as co-counsel is insult to injury, because WHY is athena's only case in this game the nothingburger case with no relevance to anything, shoehorned in to ruin the pacing?!?!?!?! on top of that, the whole "arc" they put her in here is ... her being insecure and being condescended to by all the men in the room because she's a young woman.

and then athena... kind of sucks in this case. simon saves her ass constantly, while being a douchebag about it. the dredge up all these insecurities that frankly should've been resolved in dual destinies, if dual destinies was a better game -- but i saw PTSD triggered athena overcome in trials in AA5 and now she's like ? just standing around being negged by simon all case and can't connect obvious dots.

on top of that in a more meta way, having the text be like "gee none of these men take athena seriously, can she Prove Herself??" in the midst of a filler bullshit case knowing capcom/the franchise writ large does not and will probably never take athena seriously ... !!!! i was frankly insulted both on behalf of athena and as an adult woman myself. i made a separate post about what i feel is the increased sexism in AA 456 and this case was really the tipping point where i started to be genuinely pissed off lol

girl you didn't. capcom will never let you. they hate you.

aside from all of that -- which is a lot to set aside! -- the puzzle and stuff was... whatever. if this was a tutorial case for ace attorney: athena cykes, sure, i guess it'd be fine. but it's not.

i don't like blackquill so unfortunately the gimmick of having him as co-counsel was lost on me. it's a shame, because the idea of your pet prosecutor hiring you to help some client is really fun. i would have enjoyed that set-up with phoenix and edgeworth, apollo and klavier, hell phoenix and franziska would've been incredible fhlakdhglgh ... but unfortunately for athena she's paired up with a prosecutor i find dull as rocks and he's there to neg her and like ? strangle her .... whatever man. this case sucks

it's funny how much the localization quadruples down on simon being a british weeb though. i imagine almost everyone in these games is japanese regardless of how many times the translation tries to suggest otherwise ... except simon. it's so funny that way.

i don't know enough about DID to know ho sensitively or insensitively it was handled here. based on everything else, i assume the answer is "very poorly" lol but that's someone else's post to make.

case-wise: i also felt the victim sounded like a mega asshole, and by the end i was firmly team clown girl. idgaf if she's a shitty performer, handing her dad's title on to some other guy when you know she wanted it is a dick move. "ohhh but he was making udon FOR LOVE" shut up man. "he stole the deed to ENCOURAGE YOU" shut up man!! smother him again geiru

the most enjoyable part of the case to me was geiru's surprise buckwheat allergy, bc as a celiac i found her war on cross-contamination and her frustration that no one comprehended it very Hashtag Relatable. do NOT send her udon from the buckwheat store there is no way they have adequate cross-contamination procedures the chef is literally a drunk.

anyway -100 out of 10 for this case. spirit of justice's strength is that its investigation days are really fun, so i guess it's no surprise the no-investigation sidequest trial was awful. athena baby i'm sorry, you deserved better.

[blubushie]

your complaints about intersex pyro made me feel a little less insane because i think my most controversial tf2 take is that i genuinely see pyro as a cis male. idk why people get so salty and insist that nonbinary/intersex/etc pyro is law when his teammates only ever refer to him with male pronouns lmao. imo tumblr still has alot of backwards ideas of gender/sex, which is evident by the way they still perpetuate many stereotypes but in a "woke" way. oh, masked character whose face we never see and who often gets dehumanized by his coworkers? must be an it/they/whatever

I've never worked out in my head what Pyro is (honestly to me it doesn't really matter, Pyro is Pyro) except what he ISN'T, and that is intersex because I'm a grumpy, spiteful little intersex man who doesn't want representation if that representation is just enforcing shitty stereotypes.

I still use masculine pronouns for him though since it's what everyone else uses including Miss Pauling, and considering how he handled Soldier crossing boundaries in the comic (lopping off his hand) I don't reckon he'd have any issue enforcing his desired pronouns if he didn't use masculine ones. But nah yeah the whole "dehumanised masked character MUST be intersex" thing pisses me the fuck off. Like we aren't dehumanised enough. Like we aren't told to be ashamed of our bodies and change or hide them enough.

I also don't like "Pyro is covered in burn scars and wears his suit to hide them" headcanons for this reason tbh. I don't think scars are anything to be ashamed of, I don't think they should be hidden so as not to trigger people or whatever, and I don't think that reinforcing a stereotype of "character covers their scars because they're self conscious" helps burn victims to not be self conscious. I think it's just a dick move and tone deaf. I think if anything it encourages people who cover themselves out of insecurity or fear of copping shit to continue doing that. Signed a burn victim (who does cover his scar because he's insecure about it)—this shit doesn't help. Just reinforces that I have something to be ashamed about regarding my body.

[wendytestabrat]

why clyde wanted kyle to deal with the priest

we all know about this notorious kyle-ended kyman simp moment where kyle got up to talk to butters after cartman made him do it FJDJSJSJS but like what i wanna talk about is the reason WHY clyde was asking kyle to do this shit out of all people bc it seems pretty obvious to me. as it turns out when you run around 24/7 with this martyr complex that you’re the only one who can handle saving the day or fixing any problem (like kyle does), people are just gonna push you around and take advantage of you LOL. and he’s all like “why me?” 🥺 acting all surprised like kyle….bitch…..this shit annoys me sm abt kyle he always gets all butthurt and plays the victim when other characters are mean to him and treat him like shit but he doesn’t realize he’s doing this shit to himself lol. he has no idea how to set boundaries and feels like he has to help people with every little thing and yeah when you do that shit and are too nice and giving of urself people aint gonna appreciate it and will just treat you like a doormat (something i had to learn the hard way LOL). it’s really interesting to me how the kids never want kyle’s help when he tries to fix a problem he actually is happy to help with, but when it’s something he DOESN’T wanna do they have no problem making him do that shit lol. and yeah talking to butters abt the priest was something none of the kids wanted to do (INCLUDING KYLE) bc it was awkward and uncomfortable so ofc they recruit the one kid who feels like he’s obligated to help with anything someone asks of him to do it bc they know he aint gonna say no LOL. and THAT’S why kyle’s always getting the short end of the stick and stuck in shitty predicaments. and yeah ofc he gets up and does it once cartman yells at him to bc cartman is the one who triggers kyle’s martyr complex the most so it’s almost like an innate reaction for him at this point lol.