#does NOT stand for neil slander

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

Andrew Minyard has a secret tumblr account that he posts the weirdest most random shit and for some reason it has just a shit ton of followers.

[frizzy-frizz-frizz]

freshman fox, about neil: he's basically a freshman and still acts like he's better than us. How is he even vice captian-

Kevin, who taught neil everything he knows, offended: that's because he is better than you.

freshman:

Kevin: he mastered the drill you just learnt in a quarter of the time.

freshman:

Kevin: he brought this damn team together in less than a year

freshman:

Kevin: Neil is going to be court someday.

freshman: wha-

Kevin: shut the fuck up and listen to your fucking vice captain, Jack i swear to fuck-

[deus-ex-knoxina]

Prompt: Andrew and Aaron "bonding," with mixed results

they can’t play any sort of racing-based video game with each other because once andrew said ‘if gays can’t drive then why do you keep eating my dust’ and aaron threw a controller at him and hit the wall instead. aaron tried to lie about why there was a dent in the wall. andrew did not.

‘minyard bonding’: anything from ‘we’re dyeing our hair matching shades of green because it’ll piss kevin off’ to ‘property damage? property damage.’ dan will never quite forget the matching look on their faces as they were leaving fox tower one night with backpacks full of spray paint

‘aaron if you steal syringes from the bio lab i can use them to inject chocolate syrup DIRECTLY into cakes. steal them aaron. do it.’ (aaron does it. he doesn’t ask but they both know andrew got the idea from gbbo)

the day after they finish finals their last year they take all of aaron’s lab notebooks outside and burn them. andrew brings a kazoo and plays the palmetto fight song extremely off-key. did i mention it’s 1am

speaking of kazoos: they both have them and it’s a Problem especially since neither of them can match pitch

more under the cut!

their other hobbies: going to a store in matching outfits, but only going in one at a time and checking out a few minutes apart at the same register with slightly different items to make the cashier think they’re losing it; the ‘what if we got mixed up at birth and you’re actually aaron and i’m actually andrew’ discussion that inevitably turns into existential crises at 3am in columbia; fighting over whether peanut butter or mint goes better with chocolate; punch buggy that goes WAY harder than necessary

‘what if i locked you in the bathroom and took your finals for you and answered every question with b’

‘what if i emailed all of my professors from the bathroom and claimed you stole my identity and then emailed all of YOUR professors and told them you like eating chalk and your favorite flavor is purple’

'there was no call for that kind of slander'

'there was no call for that kind of damage to my gpa'

other noted forms of minyard bonding: making fun of each other re: significant others

‘hey ANDREW you looked pretty comfortable in the LIBRARY yesterday. thought you didn’t like libraries hmmm???????????? is it because....... neil was there’

‘rich coming from a guy who changed sections of his neuroscience lecture because katelyn had a class across the hall’

‘at least i don’t have to compete with kevin for katelyn’s attention’

‘i don’t compete with kevin. i win’

‘my point still stands’

‘no it doesn’t’

‘yes it does’

nicky: oh my god guys do you have to have this conversation while we’re literally in the middle of a game

andrew and aaron, simultaneously: yes

aaron complains about some book he has to read for his literature GE class and andrew memorizes it and follows him around reciting it. other things andrew has memorized specifically to harass aaron: the bee movie, my immortal, moby dick, the cheesecake factory menu

andrew tries to steal aaron's fries at sweeties and aaron whips out a spray bottle and spritzes him in the face and says 'NO'

'neil did you know the real reason andrew never dances at eden's is because he only knows fortnite dances'

'that is false'

'sure it is'

neil: what's fortnite

andrew, wielding scissors in a threatening manner: we look too alike

aaron, not looking up from his phone: fucking get a nose piercing or something then, not my problem

aaron also has a massive sweet tooth but unlike andrew he actually gives a shit about staying relatively healthy so he doesn't indulge it too often. but then they get drunk and order 10 pounds of personalized m&ms and argue for forty minutes about what color to get (the only thing they can agree on-- not fucking orange). aaron forgets this happened. andrew does not. when 10 pounds of personalized blue and green m&ms that all say 'fcuk ravenz' arrive at fox tower, it causes quite the uproar

[bloody-wonder]

I don’t get why so many people want to erase Nicky’s flaws. They say it’s bc his personality is racist or homophobic, but I’m just not seeing it? Nicky’s not a character i like very much, but he is a fleshed out one. Boundaries are consistently an issue for him, not just in sexual situations, and in fanon that’s also ignored. Or it’s treated like a harmless/funny quirk, but they pretend it doesn’t extend to sexual situations. Idk, I just find fandom’s treatment of Nicky baffling

what people mean by “nicky’s personality is racist/homophobic” is that his character is based on some racist and homophobic tropes like “predatory gay” or “promiscuous latino”. it should totally be criticized but it’s just performative surface level kind of criticism and a reductive way of engaging with fiction if you condemn these tropes but erase them from nicky’s personality at the same time. 

here’s why it happens imo

1) when there’s not enough rep then every character who is a part of some minority group is perceived as the stand-in for that minority as a whole - therefore every personal flaw they have becomes associated with the entire group they represent and if it’s a stereotypical flaw (”all that gay men can ever think about is sex”) it hurts even more and just can’t be accepted. the question is why people just don’t say ew bad rep and choose another character to be their mascot - and the answer is that nicky’s bubbly optimistic personality must be much more appealing/palatable for the average reader than those of andrew and neil. 

2) people can’t reconcile the problematic stuff nicky does with his nice guy persona. you know that recent ted bundy movie with zac efron? the whole point of it was to show the maniac through his wife’s eyes in order to demonstrate that people who do horrible things sometimes (usually?) don’t give any clues about that in their appearance or everyday persona. but the public was outraged that the movie allegedly “romanticized” the serial killer bcs people were unable to reconcile the nice guy they saw throughout the movie with the gruesome stuff they know he did. i suppose it’s easier to compartmentalize this stuff than accept the idea that often people who seem and act nice can and will do bad things intentionally or not - and die of cognitive dissonance. it’s not ooc for nicky to harass neil just bcs you think that a nice person like he would never do that. “nice” people have done worse things. 

3) most people (even if they claim otherwise) don’t like flawed or morally grey characters. this is why people can’t accept that andrew just went and choked kevin, this is why fanon neil exists as a phenomenon, this is why aaron must go through “learning to be not homophobic” arc every time he has a role in a fic. but these are different examples from nicky bcs at least here people admit that there is a flaw but can’t bring themselves to like the character in peace until the flaw is corrected. nicky on the other hand is a completely different kind of a morally grey character - one i hope to see more of in the future - bcs he’s so deceivingly nice and relatable that people flat out can’t accept that he has any flaws, especially not such severe ones as he has in canon. therefore they will use every means they have to rewrite him and make him not problematic (and boring).

it’s interesting how in this discourse people tend to use language which suggests that nicky is a real person and nora somehow slandered him by writing that he harassed neil. bcs by analogy it would mean that if he were real and did the things he did in the books people would still defend him and overlook his flaws and bad deeds, wouldn’t they? well the way real life harassers get cancelled nowadays suggests that no he’d be done away with very fast. so my conclusion is i suppose that people just have double standards and, despite all the bitching about how aftg is “unrealistic”, they can’t bear it when the fiction reflects real life.

[thorraborinn]

In your opinion, do you think the veneration of phallus in "Völsa þáttr" is an accurate portrayal of a heathen practice?

Though I find it doubtful that the story as a whole is an accurate description of an actual event that happened, I don’t really find much specific in it that unrealistic (other than the völsi growing until it can stand on its own next to the woman, or that they did this shit every night). It is well-established that at least in some time periods, certain specific parts of slaughtered horses were sacrificed and then displayed, in particular the head, hide, and hoof bones were all left intact and presumably the rest was eaten or otherwise processed (read more about that here, with pictures some might consider graphic: https://exarc.net/eurorea-3-2006/aoam/reconstruct-sacrificial-site). So at least in some places, part of the body was used whether for eating directly or perhaps for crafting things out of bone, and other parts were preserved for sacral reasons. I don’t know if the dick falls into either of these categories but personally, I’d rather worship one than eat it.

Basically, I don’t feel like it’s a trustworthy source, but I also don’t see any strong reason to reject it either. I have no idea.

Regarding some other things in Völsa þáttr. Neil Price made an interesting point in The Viking Way about how the “lifting over the door-frame” thing (”Lift me over the hinge and the door-beam, to see if I can save the holy sacrifice”) is reminiscent of part of the ritual observed by Ahmad ibn Fadlan (quote from Montgomery 2000):

At the time of the evening prayer on Friday they brought the slave-girl to a thing that they had constructed, like a door-frame. She placed her feet on the hands of the men and was raised above that door-frame. She said some-thing and they brought her down. Then they lifted her up a second time and she did what she had done the first time. They brought her down and then lifted her up a third time and she did what she had done on the first two oc-casions. They next handed her a hen. She cut off its head and threw it away. They took the hen and threw it on board the ship.

I quizzed the interpreter about her actions and he said, ““The first time they lifted her, she said, ‘‘Behold, I see my father and my mother.’’ The second time she said, ‘‘Behold, I see all of my dead kindred, seated.’’ The third time she said, ‘‘Behold, I see my master, seated in Paradise. Paradise is beautiful and verdant. He is accompanied by his men and his male-slaves. He summons me, so bring me to him.’’””

According to Wikipedia (it’s cited to Thorir Jonsson Hraundal, "New Perspectives on Eastern Vikings/Rus in Arabic Sources", Viking and Medieval Scandinavia, 10 (2014)), there are parallels among Turkic peoples as well.

I’m interested in these mörnir. The poem Haustlǫng calls Þjazi “mǫrn’s father” so either that means some kind of giantess in general or Skaði specifically, or else another specific being we don’t otherwise know about. I have tried to figure out what the word might have meant when it was coined using historical linguistics but there isn’t a lot to go on that would explain anything. The most formally sound explanation seems to be that it’s related to suet (mǫrr). Since the word mörnir isn’t necessary for the poetic metre (because the alliteration is on þiggi and þetta; unlike in Haustǫng where it does serve a metrical function) this is not an arbitrary usage. That doesn’t mean that mörnir actually were a class of beings that were regularly worshiped -- for all we know this could be some kind of exaggeration or slander to make the audience even less sympathetic to the pagan characters and that we just don’t have enough cultural literacy to get the joke.

[soccerdrawings]

How To Leave Sport Award Ideas Without Being Noticed | Sport Award Ideas

• Neil Warnock, January – asked about Brexit while sitting in advanced of a “Visit Malaysia” assurance put up by a Cyprus-born administrator to advice armamentarium his 11-nationality Cardiff squad: “I can’t delay to get out, if I’m honest. We’ll be far bigger off out of the blood-soaked thing. In every aspect. Football-wise as well, absolutely. To hell with the blow of the world.”

10 Youth Sports Awards Ideas - sport award ideas | sport award ideas • Ian Holloway, August – calling for football to be played beneath WTO rules. “I don’t anticipate that’s our boys authoritative up that new law. I anticipate that’s bodies cogent us what to do with our game. Now they should stop accomplishing that. I achievement we get out, Brexit, because that’s what bodies are voting for. You cannot accept addition cogent us how to do our own game.”Leading on the year’s added hot-button issue: “Extinction of our chase is acceptable added and added acceptable … the apple is a messed up place. Apple leaders are either benighted or don’t affliction about the ambiance at all. Honestly, I feel like giving up… bodies don’t assume to care.” Lewis Hamilton – who denied afterwards that his jet, £13m car accumulating and £50m Petronas endorsement took the bend off. “I awash my alike a year ago.”Gianni Infantino in June – acclamation Fifa’s assembly two years afterwards he sacked the belief aggregation investigating him. “We angry it around! Fifa has gone from actuality toxic, about criminal, to what it should be: alike with credibility, trust, integrity, equality, and with beastly rights.”His added big bulletin in 2019: abnegation allocution that it was Fifa’s new assurance on Chinese sponsors that led it to bead all beastly rights checks and accolade China the 2021 Club Apple Cup. “There are problems in this world, everywhere, in abounding countries. It is not the mission of Fifa to break the problems of this world.”• Additionally not affairs complaints from beastly rights and belief groups about sportswashing in 2019 – Uefa arch Aleksander Ceferin:a) Explaining why captivation the Europa Alliance final in Azerbaijan was the appropriate affair to do: “Human rights is a botheration in added places too. Does it beggarly the admirers in Baku do not deserve alive football?” And b) reacting to the Apple Anti‑Doping Agency’s alarm for Russia to be bare of Euro 2020 by adjoin Vladimir Putin in St Petersburg. His bulletin to Putin – Uefa stands by Russia because: “I charge say, the Apple Cup was organised perfectly… I do not allege aloof to be nice: I absolutely beggarly it.”Pushing the Fifa belief boundaries too far in 2019: Central African Republic controlling Patrice-Edouard Ngaïssona – banned for six years from all Fifa activities for arch a militia accused of “mass executions, torture, anamorphosis and rapes”. Ngaïssona, on balloon in The Hague in 2020, denies 111 war crimes charges.Was acquainted by Sepp Blatter - aggressive to sue Fifa in July for not giving aback the 60 affluence watches he larboard in his office. “These are my watches, accord me my watches. It’s important for me.” His bigger question: “Why are they angry me for these watches? There is no respect... I’ve accomplished the end of my temper.”José Mourinho – started 2019 out of work, activity viral with an ice-rink faceplant in Russia and a €3.3m tax artifice sentence; concluded it managing Spurs and commendation Nelson Mandela. “Like Mr Mandela said: ‘You never lose, you win or you learn.’ At United I won and I learned. My time afterwards I larboard United, that was a acceptable time for me.”@realDonaldTrump – responding to Megan Rapinoe’s “I’m not activity to the fucking White House” boycott in June by mis-tagging a alternation of rebukes – cogent @meganrapino, a afraid 21-year-old Starbucks agent from Virginia: “Never boldness our country, the White House, or our flag.”• Additionally accepting to him during the USA’s Women’s Apple Cup run: Rapinoe’s examination of the quarter-final, played in Pride month. “Go gays! You can’t win a championship afterwards gays on your aggregation – it’s never been done before, ever. That’s science, appropriate there!”Israel Folau – suing Rugby Australia for “discrimination”. Folau, sacked in May for angle including “hell awaits homosexuals” and gay alliance causes bushfires, claimed £7.4m for corruption of “religious freedom”. Statement: “Mr Folau wants all Australians to apperceive that he does not disregard bigotry of any kind.”Franck Ribéry – administration the acknowledgment aftermost January afterwards he acquaint a video of himself bistro a steak coated in gold. “Let’s alpha with the jealous, the haters, those alone built-in because a condom had a aperture in: f*** your mothers, your grandmothers and alike your ancestors tree. I owe you nothing.” Bayern Munich: “Franck accepts his words were unwise.”Still acceptable on racism: Serie A – cogent “sincere regret” for the “No To Racism” posters they put up this ages featuring monkeys with corrective faces. CEO Luigi De Siervo: “I realise now these were inappropriate. But what cannot be questioned is the strong, connected accusation of racism by Serie A.”• Additionally continuing close in 2019: a) Uefa, allowance Porto of racism in September afterwards a fan claimed he was apropos to himself as a antic aback he led chants of “monkey” while a atramentous amateur lined up a penalty. The fan said: “Everyone in Portugal knows me as Monkey, it’s my nickname. This is an awkward aberration from Uefa.” Uefa accustomed the defence. And b) Downing Street, 10 canicule afterwards Boris Johnson’s win, borderline why racists were activity emboldened: “Racism has no abode in football, and we charge accost this abandoned behaviour. There is added assignment to be done by the football authorities ... We don’t aphorism out demography added steps, if required.”Jack Leach, charwoman his glasses at one end as history abundant at the other. “They bare cleaning. I apperceive I attending brainless aback I am out there. But it got the job done.” See additionally the slow-mo video of the year:

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I’m ambrosial annoyed appropriate now.”Was Sky spotting Huddersfield’s admission administrator Jan Siewert in the directors’ box in January, and activity in for an absolute interview. “It was bizarre,” said Man City fan Martin Warhurst later. “I was sat in the army and aback I was acquainted of a guy advancing appear me from the right. He anticipation I was the manager; I said: ‘No, no, that’s not me. I’m Martin from Wakefield.’”Billy Sharp’s beat boob ambition anniversary in February – his accolade to WWE brilliant Mick Foley’s “Mr Socko”. @RealMickFoley alleged it “TREMENDOUS” and angry up a ages later. Sharp: “After the bold I had 200 texts afresh God knows how abounding on Twitter. Abutting affair I apperceive Mick Foley is accepting breakfast at my house.”National alliance @AFCFylde - ambrosial in February for three youths who “duped our amphitheater anchorperson into allurement for a white Nissan Micra NE14 ABJ to be confused aftermost night”. 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She’s activity to be a meme.” And on why the best bit of the summer was rapper Jaden Smith tweeting her. “Obviously the tennis is abundant … but I’ve looked up to Jaden for so long. Bodies who chase me apperceive that’s all I column about. It was ambrosial agitative for me.”Among 2019’s regrets: Abundant Britain actuality butterfingers from the men’s 4x400m at the European Athletics Aggregation Championships in August afterwards allotment assets attempt doodle Youcef Zatat in the calendar by mistake; and Telstar striker Jordie van der Laan actuality sacked in May for calling in ailing so he could biking to London to watch Ajax comedy Spurs. Telstar admiral spotted him in the army on TV; Van der Laan said: “It was not my best decision.”Colorado Rapids – cancelling their post-game fireworks in August due to “plague”. Admiral said “the attendance of plague-infested fleas affecting prairie dog colonies” about Dick’s Sporting Goods Park meant the club “had no addition but to cancel”. A Rapids fan in a affliction doctor affectation told the Denver Post. “I assumption we’ll aloof embrace it.”Solid brawl from David Duval at the Open in Royal Portrush in July: birdieing his aboriginal two holes, extensive the 5th one off the lead, afresh hitting a quadruple bogey, a bogey and a nonuple bogey 14 at the par-five 7th afterwards accident two tee shots afresh arena the amiss ball. He accomplished with a 20-over 91, but said he never anticipation about walking away. “If you play, you column your score. Is there some adumbration of embarrassment? I don’t know. What I shot, I put on the board.”2018: David Beckham accepts the Uefa president’s award. “I’m actual honoured, honoured to be here.”2019: Eric Cantona accepts the Uefa president’s award: “As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods, they annihilate us for their sport. Anon science will not alone be able to apathetic the ageing of cells, anon science will fix the beef to the accompaniment and so we will become eternal. Alone accidents, crimes, wars will still annihilate us, but unfortunately, crimes, wars, will multiply. I adulation football. Thank you.”“Wayne Hennessey is ‘desperate’ to apprentice about the Nazis, says Roy Hodgson” – theguardian.com, April. Runner-up: The Times, aftermost week: “West Ham footballer Michail Antonio comatose Lamborghini while dressed as snowman.”Making it big on Twitter in 2019: @visualsatire’s Football Administrator Beard on Politicians. Including acclaimed works “Henry VIII with the beard and earpiece of Phil Brown”, and “Angela Merkel with the face of Steve Bruce”.

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Teammate Alexander Mühling: “The boy didn’t apperceive that rule. None of us knew that rule.”Was Luis Suárez – hailed for “reaching aiguille Luis Suárez” in Uruguay’s Copa América win over Chile in June after: a) Seeming to address for a handball in the box by the goalkeeper; and b) Reacting to an adversary benumbed a angle face by active appear the adjudicator brandishing an abstract card.Days afterwards Cardiff Met administrator Christian Edwards was taken ill in November, adolescent son Isaac stepped up to alter him with this teamtalk afterwards an bizarre win over Cefn Druids.Katarina Johnson-Thompson, nine canicule afterwards heptathlon gold in October. @JohnsonThompson: “If anyone wants to apperceive how my off division is activity … I’ve been to two karaoke confined in 48 hours. My called songs are Bonnie Tyler ‘Total concealment of the heart’ and Busta Rhymes ‘Look at me now’.”2.1m wholesome angle for this acknowledgment to England’s Candid Apple Cup win.A appropriate accomplishment from Harlequins’ Joe Marler in November – absolutely committing to his metaphor. “We’ve got addition anniversary to get aback on the horse, and booty that horse to the water. And you can ask that horse, you can say: ‘Hey, horsey, do you appetite to accept a alcohol or do you appetite to swim?’ It’s up to that horse to afresh realise what he wants to do in his life. That horse, at the moment, wants to go out on Saturday and he wants to say ‘hello’ to those fans. And he goes : ‘I’m apologetic about the aftereffect aftermost week, but I’m activity to accord a bigger achievement adjoin Bath.’ He’s a hardly Irish horse. So we are attractive forward, like I say, to accepting aback on that horse.” Interviewer: “And are you attractive advanced to accepting aback on the horse?” Marler: “I don’t like horses, I can’t ride.”Headlining 12 months of viral beastly cameos:• Multiple bodies causing time added on, including at Everton v Wolves in February and a Real Salt Lake bold in July at Rio Tinto Amphitheater in the US, area a avoid pitch-invaded aftermost year. • A ailing fox elimination itself on the Oval in July during Surrey v Glamorgan;• A accumulate abolition the Minnesota Twins alert in two nights, authoritative the Twins’ dugout “scatter in fear”. • A bee army sending players to the accommodation at Sri Lanka v South Africa at Chester-le-Street in June. Faf du Plessis: “It is actual funny actually. It’s like someone’s run a apparatus gun through the players.” • Two stags abolition Fort William’s training this month. @Mocko500: “Fort William approved to action them contracts, but they were two deer.” • A awkward first-half possum dabbling Puebla’s cruise to Veracruz in January. Veracruz said the possum was “treated by vets afore abiding to the wild”. • Half a dozen hippos bistro Letaba’s rugby angle in May. The club told South African media: “These boys aloof came up from the river and started grazing.” • And the purest ambition anniversary of 2019 – a deer hitting the net, afresh dancing away. 20.8m views.Was Freddie, accepting his life-changing aboriginal attending central Goodison Park.Also causing “something in my eye” tweets in 2019:• David Martin adhering dad Alvin afterwards his West Ham admission at 33; • Tearful tennis adept Nicolas Mahut actuality consoled by his adolescent son in June afterwards defeat at Roland Garros to Leonardo Mayer, who additionally larboard in tears; • And Jordan Henderson with his dad Brian in June afterwards the Champions Alliance final. Brian, a blight survivor, said later: “When he was 12 I took him to the Champions Alliance final, and aback they came out to the Champions Alliance music he said: ‘Dad, I’m activity to comedy it one day.’ Not alone already but twice, and now he’s won one. So the tears come, you alpha shaking, you grab the wife, you grab the daughter-in-law, you grab anybody that’s about you. I’m aloof so happy.”Going the added mile: Duncan Ferguson’s Everton ambition celebrators; José Mourinho advantageous Callum, 15, with a pasta cafeteria for his abetment adjoin Olympiakos; and this Wimbledon tennis ballboy who, admitting a sustained, shock assimilation from a rogue sprinkler, backward in place, cocked and straight-faced. Until the atomic beam got out.From Rebekah Vardy, asked if she’d confronted Coleen Rooney afterwards their amusing media advancing calm in October. “That would be like arguing with a pigeon. You can acquaint it that you are appropriate and it is wrong, but it’s still activity to bits in your hair.” How To Leave Sport Award Ideas Without Being Noticed | Sport Award Ideas - sport award ideas | Encouraged for you to my personal blog, in this particular time period I'm going to demonstrate with regards to keyword. And after this, this can be a 1st picture:

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[spinninghunkofspacerock]

HERE THEY ARE!!

(my lines are in blue btw and the movie lines are in red)

upon seeing the bagpipes: ‘wait is this in Scotland?’ ‘No, America’ ‘why the bagpipes then??? give them back!’

when all the students stood up and spoke in unison: ‘that’s creepy, babe are you sure there isn’t a cult at this school?’ (I responded that the only cult was the fandom)

Keating’s introduction: ‘Ohh that’s the teacher that makes you cry isn’t it?’ ‘How’d you know?’ ‘….It’s Robbie Williams’

HE THOUGHT HE SAID HENDERSON TOO BTW

it was a whole thing, anyway—

when Todd’s in the room with Neil and the poets: ‘he looks so uncomfortable i feel bad…. it’s like seeing you at a party’

‘Hey the ginger‘s the one everyone hates right?’ ‘Only some people’ ‘Yeah, i can see why’

‘When’s the poetry again?’

Neil and Mr. Perry: ‘Wow ok that’s his dad right?’ ‘yeah’ ‘…Yeah no’

‘This is a fancy school’

When keating says ‘Oh captain, my captain, who can tell me where that’s from?’ ‘it’s that one Whitman poem’ ‘It’s from a poem by Walt Whitman’ ‘I KNEW IT’

‘This guy seems cool, wish he was my teacher’

‘Oh this got deep fast’

‘…..Nope it’s funny again’

‘Everyone’s making fun of ginger again and i support it’ ‘Why do you hate Cameron so much?’ ‘Is that his name? I don’t know he’s just *series of weird one handed motions*’

When Chris answers the door: ‘Oh she’s hot’

Knox saying ‘Mrs. Danberry?’ to Chris: ‘Wow nice one man’ ‘You were worse when we met’ ‘Slander’

‘Ooh it’s the flannel scene shh’ ‘…..is this why you always make eyes at me when I’ve got fannel on? *mock crying* am i just a stand in to you??’

*fake worry* ‘Does that make, me, a jerk?’ ‘….Sap’

Classroom scene again: ‘What’s with the graph? It’s poetry.’

Book ripping scene: ‘How come i missed the paper tearing class??’

‘That’s awkward’

‘Team talk time huh?’

’Did you quote this to me ages ago?’ ‘Maybe?’ ‘…And i thought you were just that inspiring of a speaker’

‘This is the mashed potatoes bit’

’Yeah that’s a lot of potatoes’

‘Why would you put your secret club in the yearbook?’

‘Does poetry really make you swoon?’ ‘You should know love’ ‘….Yeah i should’

‘Nice book, i want one’

‘Seriously cultlike behaviour’ ‘It’s not a cult!’ ‘You sure about that sweetheart?’

‘Who gave us half a roll?’ ’That’s why you laughed when i gave you half of my roll, isn’t it?’

Ok so I’m finishing here for today because i still have loads to go but I’ll do the next part tomorrow <3 hope you enjoyed!

Attention all dps mutuals!

I have recently (finally) watched dps with my bf, i have made notes on the reactions observed and was wondering if anyone wants me to post them?

Is that something people would like to read?

[uacboo]

Early on in his career, Guy Ritchie took rough-and-tumble streetwise hoodlums and elevated them to hero status. Now, he does the opposite, taking high-class literary heroes — first Sherlock Holmes and now King Arthur — and plunging them down to gutter level. The idea, one supposes, is to make these lofty cultural icons into relatable underdogs, but the effect is akin to slander. If there ever had been a real Sherlock or Arthur, they would surely be horrified to see themselves depicted as such commonplace thugs.

In Ritchie’s over-the-top, rock-and-roll “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword,” the less you know about the legend in question, the better. The brash British director has thrown out nearly all preexisting Athurian notions and come up with a smoking new riff on the famous sword-in-the-stone tale that makes “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” look like a work of rigorous historical scholarship by comparison.

It’s epic, in the sense that it features elaborate CG backdrops swarming with thousands of virtual extras, and it’s extravagant, to the extent that Warner Bros. flushed away millions of dollars to produce this gaudy eyesore. But ultimately, “King Arthur” is just a loud, obnoxious parade of flashy set pieces, as one visually busy, belligerent action scene after another marches by, each making less sense than the last, but all intended to overwhelm. That technique has served Richie well before — a sort of slick back-alley magic by which he distracts our attention in one direction, only to pull off something wondrous and surprising in the other, much to the audience’s collective amazement. But in this case, the approach largely backfires, as attempts to dazzle with giant elephants, a scenery-chewing Jude Law, and an occasionally shirtless stud king (played by well-cast, but otherwise squandered “The Lost City of Z” star Charlie Hunnam) leaves us more confused than awestruck.

Lumped together with a small militia of rebel soldiers, some random Vikings and a mighty French sorceress (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, sexier than Merlin, yet still powerful enough to summon birds and snakes to do her bidding), these elements constitute an entirely new take on the man who wielded Excalibur — one that isn’t remotely coherent, mind you, but intends to serve as a revisionist origin story all the same. Ritchie wants to set up a new King Arthur legend that, were it to catch on, might actually generate a sequel or two down the road (and who’s to say it won’t, when last year’s comparably ill-conceived “The Legend of Tarzan” managed to avert disaster with its still-disappointing $357 million worldwide haul?). And yet, there seems to be no small amount of confusion about the word “legend” at Warner Bros. these days, as their approach to such icons seems to be, “You think you know [insert King Arthur-scale hero here]? Well, think again!”

Ritchie and co-writers Lionel Wigram and Joby Harold (who initially sold the studio on an expansive, multi-film series) seem to have confused King Arthur with Robin Hood, re-imagining England’s chivalrous first knight as some sort of rabble-rousing proto-gangster, backed by a crew of cutthroat forest dwellers (archers, mostly) eager to stand up to the despot king Vortigern (Law), who killed Arthur’s father (Eric Bana) and seized the throne. The script also boasts a bizarre fantasy dimension, as well as peculiar aspects of the Christ story, as the challenge to pull the sword from the stone is treated less like a contest than some sort of deadly trial, forced upon every Brit of a certain age, where the winner — he who can pry Excalibur from its rocky scabbard — will be swiftly executed (much as insecure King Herod massacred countless innocents to thwart the prophecy that a newborn Jew would rise to take his throne).

After playing the straight man to Robert Downey Jr.’s borderline-unhinged Sherlock Holmes in two Ritchie-directed blockbusters, Law seems to relish getting to let loose here, and his villainous Vortigern has all the gristle of a high-camp performance. But Ritchie’s overwrought sense of flamboyance isn’t nearly queer enough to achieve “so bad it’s good” self-parody. Rather, he comes across as an aging rebel worried about being judged un-hip, clearly over-compensating in order to remain one step ahead of fellow stylists Zack Snyder (“300”), Tarsem Singh (“Mirror Mirror”), and Alex Proyas (“Gods of Egypt”) — all of whose genuinely outrageous, inadvertently awful work appears to be a source of inspiration here.

Collectively, these directors have reached a point where their films run the risk of collapsing under the weight of their own production design, especially since Hollywood no longer makes stars big enough to compete with the environments that surround them. (Have you noticed: Even Trump looks tiny when photographed at Mar Lago?)

At least Hunnam has the potential to be the next Brad Pitt, having begun his career in a series of demanding acting roles — including a long run on FX’s “Sons of Anarchy” — before making the transition to blockbuster screen idol. He’s got presence, along with a sense of vulnerability that’s essential to the Arthur role, in which he plays a true-blood prince, orphaned by his uncle, raised in a brothel, educated on the streets, and thrust into the unlikely position of saving the kingdom.

But Hunnam’s competing with so much ridiculous window-dressing here. It’s as if Ritchie, who began his career with the rowdy follow-that-shotgun caper “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels,” has once again tried to build an entire movie around the whereabouts of a rare weapon, when the legend of the sword isn’t nearly as interesting as that of the man who wields it.

Film Review: ‘King Arthur: Legend of the Sword’ Reviewed at Warner Bros. Studios, Los Angeles, May 8, 2017. MPAA Rating: PG-13. Running time: 126 MIN. Production A Warner Bros. Pictures release and presentation, in association with Village Roadshow Pictures, Ratpac-Dune Entertainment, of a Weed Road/Safehouse Pictures, Ritchie/Wigram production. Producers: Akiva Goldsman, Joby Harold, Tory Tunnell, Steve Clark-Hall, Guy Ritchie, Lionel Wigram. Executive producers: David Dobkin, Bruce Berman, Steve Mnuchin. Crew Director: Guy Ritchie. Screenplay: Joby Harold, Ritchie & Lionel Wigram; story: David Dobkin, Harold. Camera (color, widescreen): John Mathieson. Editor: James Herbert. Music: Daniel Pemberton. With Charlie Hunnam, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, Jude Law, Djimon Hounsou, Eric Bana, Aidan Gillen, Freddie Fox, Craig McGinlay, Tom Wu, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Neil Maskell, Annabelle Wallis.