#do you think he was planning this out when he was getting his dick sewed on?

[beetlesanbutterflies]

How do you think Creature proposed? I know we see part of it in the film but i'm sitting her kicking my feet thinking about them running back to the room and Lisa is ready to go, and Creature suddenly stops and she's confused and asks him what's wrong. Is the stitching bad? Does he need another round in the tanning bed? Did he change his mind?

And he just stands there staring at her trying to think of how to convey that he loves her so much and no matter what happens to them, they will not share the same fate of going to the grave unmarried. and in the middle of Lisa trying to decipher all of this he just grabs her bag of peach rings and gets on one knee.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt: Friendly neighborhood forensic pathologist Danny Fenton is a new master of The Court of Owls? (Dead on main, of course) +Part 2: Talon Dick

Don’t underestimate what a ghost will do for a higher education. You see, it's the custom of the Fenton family not to run away from things they are afraid of but to face their fear. So Danny Fenton, who has learned to fear scalpels, steel clamps and surgical retractors, decides to do something about it and to dedicate his life to giving souls of those who died a violent death the final rest and justice they deserve.

Well, it didn’t really come to him at once. It started out as a simple joke:

Danny didn’t think he could continue his education after school. Frankly, his grades suck. However, Tucker for fun applied for a scholarship for gifted villains from Gotham University on his behalf.

And hell, they are willing to pay money for his education. Pay in full! Living in Park Row is also incredibly cheap. And with his flying ability, he’ll also save on transportation.

Danny is not a villain. And he’s not planning on becoming one. But he couldn’t lose that chance.

Why do you deserve this scholarship? “My parents are renowned ecto scientists, and I’ve seen their dissection work at its best. Medical school is expensive, and this scholarship will help me accomplish my goal of becoming a forensic pathologist and helping maintain the boundary between the world of the living and the world of the dead…or use it for my own ends. Of course.”

Well, Mr Two-Face was fully confident that despite his grades in the subjects, Danny was fully committed to achieving high academic achievement. Finally, work experience of Dan came in handy somewhere.

There were only few things about the death that Danny didn’t find on his own or from his ghost friends, so he managed to graduate in record time. Young Fenton thought he was lucky enough to get a job near Crime Alley. It was odd that the job was available. Even a new specialist like him was allowed to work full-time. And the salary was very decent.

~~~~~~

Danny: Yes, Jazz, everything is just fine. I found a great job and I’m trying to relax and find a hobby, you know. Started feeding the local birds. Apparently they were abused, the poor things are so shy and aggressive.

The local birds:

~~~~~~

Let’s say that a returned Jason as undead cannot be killed for forever. The stab wounds heal quickly, the bullet holes sometimes itch unpleasantly for a few days, but in general his regeneration is at a level with some metahumans. This is convenient. But when Red Hood wakes up in the morgue after a particularly severe injury, he’s not happy. Sometimes even looking in the mirror at his dissection scar is difficult for him. And this situation is a fucking nightmare. Danny: Oh. Are you awake now? I’m sorry I didn’t have time to put you on the couch, I didn’t have clean sheets and my assistant would have killed me because of the new stains. Red Hood: What the hell? I’m sorry?! It’s fucked up! I’d love to see you wake up on the dissection table. Danny: Been there Done that. But hey, I didn’t put you there. You didn’t get here on my shift, give me a break.

Jason: …So, what's now? Danny: Well, I can offer you tea or coffee. Of course, only after I sew up the hole in your stomach and give you a change of clothes. Or I could go after the documents and pretend I didn’t notice one of my bodies got away. But then don’t dream about novocaine blockade. Pretty liver by the way, you don’t see that much in crime lords. Jason: Um, thank you? But you’re weird. Usually people are praised for the beauty of the face or eyes rather than… Danny: Wow, now I feel attacked.You wake up in your helmet. I can’t compliment what I can’t see. Jason: Gee, I’m surprised your colleague hasn’t taken it off yet. Danny: And lose important evidence? It is not customary for us to put curiosity above professionalism.

~~~~~

Jason learns quickly that although Batman is willing to go anywhere to track him, there are always exceptions to the rule. The morgue was one of them. Not surprisingly, the emotional constipation and uncomfortable theme of Jason’s death worked like a perfect bat repeller. Over time, Jason becomes really interested in a guy who genuinely laughs at his death jokes and listens to his problems at work without judgment. Danny is too cute and nice.

Danny*works*: No visitors allowed here.

Jason: Unless you are a zombie, right?

Danny:...Still not one of your hideouts. The book is where you left it, make some tea if you want it.

~~~~~

Jason, once again delivered without a sign of life to Danny after the fight, woke up during pupillary reflex test.

Jason: Oh, beauty, you are just dazzling today.

Danny: As I thought, your regeneration didn’t cure your concussion before your resurrection. I’ll give you referrals for all the tests and examinations. And we really should stop seeing each other like this. Please take care of yourself.

Jason: I don’t think you have the right to prescribe them to me. Danny: Technically I do not. But we live in Gotham. And for some time the hospital where I work at night is very sensitive to my requests.

Red Hood: And why? Danny: It’s hard to explain… Red Hood: Doctor Handsome, I’ve been through some shit, so try to surprise me. Danny: Okay, okay. Look, you are a crime lord for not too long, right? But criminals and cops are afraid of you and kids and your henchmen really likes you. Jason: ..So what? Danny: Can you please recommend how to maintain a reputation but so your people aren’t afraid of you? Jason: Why do you need this information? Your assistant finally realized you’re friends with walking corpses? Danny: It’s not about that! Although, like.. you aren’t wrong? It’s complicated. I may, well, accidentally, honestly, have seized power over a local secret aristocratic criminal society.

Jason: Baby, please tell me everything. I have a restaurant as a front for a business nearby. It’s a date. Let's go. Danny: Let me finish a few stitches first, Jay.

~~~~~

Red Hood and Red Robin fight near Batman: Hood: Replacement was on patrol without permission! Red Robin: And Jason is dating the new owner of Court of Owls! Batman:.. he's doing WHAT? Jason, how could you take such a risk? it is completely unprofessional and Red Hood: At least he loves me for what’s inside me! Red Robin: Yeah, like a beautiful liver. It’s a great relationship base. Red Hood: I’m talking about my feelings and interests. Dumb lil stalker with a big mouth! I’ll teach you not to bother my boyfriend.

~~~~~

Henchman: Boss. We shouldn’t go into that area, the rumors are that there are Talons here. Red Hood: All under control, they won’t touch us. Henchman: How can you be sure? The poem says 'Beware The Court of Owls, that watches all the time, ruling Gotham from a shadow..' Red Hood: Yeah yeah "speak not a whispered word of them or they'll send The Talon for your head". I’m sleeping with their boss, of course I’m sure. Henchman: Boss, don’t kid like that. Red Hood: I don’t pay you for gossip. Let's go.

Dick, to whom the memories began to return, haunts Jason because he did not cut for Lil Wing apple slices like he likes for lunch: Talon came to finish the job. Henchmen: scream

~~~~~

Jason *shows Danny 'Red Flags' on youtube*: Hey, baby, want to be a little shit on our date? I know where Brucie Wayne’s having dinner tonight, so you can meet the family.

[happy74827]

One Call Away

[Wade Wilson x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: During one of his "jobs," Deadpool gets a call from his favorite gal [GIF Creds: jdsheart]

WC: 1970

Category: Fluff, Major Comedy {TW: Deadpool’s Humor/Nonfiltered Personality}

This man is so hard to write. I’m always stressing the noggin when it comes to planning and plotting 😔

『••✎••』

"And away we go..."

One neck crack and a couple of hip twists later, he was off like Aladdin and his fucktoy carpet, scaling the building similarly to a chameleon on LSD.

The only thing that was missing was some epic music.

He'd been chasing this baddie around the city for almost two days now. Some big-shot mob boss with ties to Hydra, or the Mafia, or the Yakuza, or some other three-letter-acronym organization. It was hard to keep track of them all at this point. They were all the same, except for the name.

They all had their own agenda.

Kill him, keep him prisoner, pay him off...

Wade never cared enough to listen because it was always the same. He just got hired to do the dirty work, and the pay was good.

The killing was better.

This one, however, was particularly good at eluding him. He'd been trying to get his hands on this man for a few days now. It wasn't as though he was trying to be stealthy or anything, either. He'd walked right up to his front door, knocked, and was greeted with a spray of machine gun bullets.

So, the usual.

But then the guy ran and didn't stop. It was like the fucking Roadrunner met Sonic the Hedgehog, and they decided to fuck around and find out.

Wade was getting real sick and tired of being a Roadrunner, too. He had a reputation to uphold. He wasn't known as the Merc with the Mouth for nothing. He was supposed to be the one doing the running and the killing.

Not the other way around.

Finally, finally, he managed to reach the roof where the guy was currently taking cover behind a small brick shack. The sun was rising, but it was still dark, and there were a couple of floodlights shining on the rooftop. It made him think of the night he'd had that heart-to-heart with Blind Al, even though all she really wanted was for him to bring her some of that special brownie mix.

What a night that had been.

But anyway, this monologue is starting to get too long, and we should probably move things along, eh?

Right.

So, the baddie.

His name was something long and non-English.

Salvatore, or Santino, or Salvation... Whatever the fuck it was, it didn't really matter. What mattered was that it was time to make him dead.

He stepped around the corner and was met with a spray of bullets, all of which lodged themselves into his Kevlar vest.

"Oh, come on!" he yelled over the sound of the gunfire. "This is real leather, you know. I'm tired of all the offscreen sewing and shit."

When the spray finally ended, he took a moment to catch his breath.

"…ow," he whispered to himself.

"You shouldn't have followed me here," the man said.

"Yeah, whatever," Deadpool replied. "Look, I'll make this easy for you. You drop down and give me fifty, and I'll let you keep that hideous mustache you're sporting."

The man's eyes widened in surprise.

"It's not that bad, is it?"

"Yes, yes it is," Deadpool assured him. "You got a squirrel living in it or something?"

"It's just a little bit of gray, you dick," the man argued. "What about you? What's with the mask? Are you hiding a mustache under there, too, or something? Maybe some acne scars?"

Deadpool shook his head and stepped forward, his guns drawn.

"Don't come any closer!"

"You know, this would be much more intimidating if you didn't look like a cartoon mouse."

"Stop it with the mustache!"

"Alright, alright," Deadpool said. "Enough with the mustache. But what is it about your hairline? I can't put my finger on it."

The man sighed in exasperation and pulled out his pistol, aiming it right at Deadpool's face.

"Hey now, don't point that at me," Deadpool scolded him. "That's not a very nice thing to do."

He ignored him and pulled the trigger, a loud boom ringing out as the bullet fired. It whizzed by him but missed its mark.

"You really are a dick," He grumbled before aiming his gun right between the man's eyes. And he was going to shoot, honest.

He really was.

But then his phone rang, and he was well-reminded of the current song playing through his head.

I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man. I can shake-ah my fanny, I can shake-ah my can!

Needless to say, he was distracted.

He lowered his gun and looked down at his pocket, where his phone was still ringing and still vibrating against his leg.

"Shit, hold that thought," He said to the guy, and he holstered his gun.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing?!"

Deadpool put his finger up to shush him before pulling his phone out of his pocket to answer it.

If you're an evil witch, I’ll punch you for fu—

"Heyyyy," he said in a sing-songy voice, "you've reached the phone sex hotline. For kinks and fetishes, press one. For booty calls, press two. For your favorite mercenary, press three."

"Ey, pendejo—" His opponent started, but he cut him off by snapping and raising his finger.

"Cut it, Tuco Salamanca. Breaking Bad called and wants its meth-cooking mustache back."

"Wha-I-you-"

"Anyways, this is your favorite merc speaking. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"

"Is this a bad time?"

Wade's eyes widened in shock, and his jaw dropped open when he heard her voice on the other end of the line.

"Baby girl! Is that you? Oh, how I've missed your voice. It's like hearing an angel, or an angelic chorus, or a whole bunch of angels, but you're the most important one. Like, the lead singer or something."

"I literally saw you last night." Your voice was always drenched with the most amazing kind of sarcasm, and he'd missed it.

"And?"

"It's only been a few hours."

"And?"

"That's a short amount of time."

"And?"

You sighed, but he knew you weren't really annoyed.

"Anyways, you sounded busy," you continued, "so I'll just let you go."

"What?! No! Don't hang up!" He shouted into the receiver. "I've only fiddled with my pistols! Nothing interesting is happening right now!"

"Your pistols, huh?" You asked a hint of mischief in your voice.

"Well, yeah. They're the most important part of the mission, you know."

In the corner of his eye, he could see his target making his way towards the edge of the building. Quickly and efficiently, without dropping his attention from his conversation with you, he lifted his gun and fired a shot at the man's knee.

"Ah, fuck!" the man screamed in pain. "My knee!"

"Hey! Language!" Deadpool scolded him. "The lady of the house is listening!"

"Lady of the- what the fuck?!"

"I said language, you mustachioed rat!"

"Mustachioed rat?" You asked.

"Sorry, babe," he replied. "You know how excited I get when Downtown Abbey is on."

“There’s gunshots in Downtown Abbey?"

"Gunshots? Oh, no, no. That was… uh, a car alarm. Yeah, the neighbor's car alarm was going off."

"Uh-huh," you said, not sounding very convinced. And, of course, that was right around the time the guy's gun went off again, this time hitting him square in the shoulder. It made the phone fall out of his hand and clatter onto the ground, but the call was still connected.

"Dammit!" He yelled, looking at the fresh blood dripping down his arm. "That's gonna take forever to heal!"

"Who are you talking to?" The man demanded, his gun still aimed at Deadpool's face. "You're working with someone?"

"Hey, now, I don't remember giving you permission to talk," Deadpool told him, holding his bloody arm up to his face. "Look, I've gotta call you back, babe. I know it's been so heartbreakingly long—"

"Again, only a few hours," you said.

"—but duty calls. Love you, bye."

"Love you, bye."

With that, the line disconnected.

"Ugh," he groaned, his heart aching for the loss of your sweet voice. "I miss her already."

"Ey," his opponent growled, drawing his attention. He started speaking in rapid-fire Spanish, which Deadpool didn't really understand, but he didn't have to. The guy was just ranting and raving.

"Alright, alright, chill," Deadpool said. "Just calm down. It’ll all be over soon, little buddy."

"I am not little! I am a giant!" The guy protested, and Wade could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. "And I will not chill!"

"Well, can't argue with that, I guess," Deadpool said with a shrug, and he took aim. But before he could pull the trigger, the guy was running again.

"Hey, what did I tell you about running?!" He yelled, but his voice fell on deaf ears as the guy reached the ledge.

"I am a giant!"

"No, you're a giant asshat!"

"I will not be bested by some masked buffoon!"

"Buff? Me? Why, I never!"

"You're the biggest asshole I've ever met!"

"You know what? I am a big ass! A big, round, bubbly ass." He paused for a second. "Hey, what's your favorite flavor?"

"Fuck you, you red-clad imbecile!"

"You know, I'd ask you out to dinner first, but we're kinda past that now."

"Argh!"

"Alright, enough stalling," Deadpool said. "It's time to end this."

"Yes," the guy said, turning his gun back on Deadpool. "It is."

Of course, Deadpool being the smart-ass he was, he'd already taken a step to the side. As the bullet whizzed past him, he reached for his gun.

"Now, where did I put that thing? Oh, there it is."

He aimed the gun and fired, and the man fell back onto the ground. The bullet hit him right in the middle of his forehead, his blood splattering all over the concrete.

"Ha ha! Fatality. Deadpool wins!" He said, his voice taking on the deep, grounded tone of the narrator from Mortal Kombat. "Flawless Victory."

He stood over the body for a few seconds, reveling in his victory, before he felt the presence of another.

The gun on his right side got ripped from its holster, and the barrel was aimed back into his face, as it always seems to be.

But, he already sensed it was coming, so his fingers wrapped around his other and aimed that right in the golden spot… and let’s just say, The Golden Girls was a little less golden and a lot more crimson.

"Wow, this has got to be a record," He said as he bent down to stare at the new one’s anguish. "Two dead ugly mustaches in the same day. You can call me Sweeney Todd because shit… I just shaved you the fuck up."

He didn’t give the poor bastard a chance to even whimper before he fired another two shots into the man's head. All in all, this had been the easiest payday he'd had in a while.

He picked up his cell phone and slipped it back into its pocket before bending down and scooping up the mustache man's pistol.

"Ooh, lookie here, a nice, shiny new pistol," he said to himself. "Just what I've always wanted. Well, I don't actually need it. It's not like I have any other holes in my body, but you know what they say. The more the merrier."

He stuffed the gun in his holster and turned around, heading back the way he'd come.

"Time to get back to the good stuff," he said. "I have a date with my favorite girl."

He hopped up onto the ledge and looked down, his eyes locking on the window to his apartment.

And when he arrived, bloody and battered, you could only smile while holding up little ole Mary Puppins in all her drooling glory.

God, how he missed his girls.

[cheshirebitch]

Alastor x Reader

𝔸𝕞 𝕀 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕥? pt 2

( part 1 here ) ( part 3 here )

 Husk was the first to notice me, since we both thought I was going to die. 

“Oh (Y/n) you son of a bitch!” Angel grabbed me tightly into a hug, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Charlie ran up with Vaggie tailing her.

“How did you do it?” Vaggie and Charlie asked at the same time. Husk looked over and barked out, “How did she do what? Because she saved him and she also somehow saved herself from Boss Man’s wrath.” He took a swig of his drink, eyeing me suspiciously. I knew he was going to pamper me with a million questions later. 

“Well, I just offered Vox information that sounded valuable in a state of dire quick thinking. Sure, he can be smart, but not on the spot. It was simply a trick play of environment and temptation.” After all, isn’t that what I’m good at? 

“What was the info you gave?” Curiosity got the best of Angel. I smiled before pressing a finger to my lips.

“Can’t spill. Even if I wanted to.” A red magic spread across my face where it looked like my mouth was sewed shut. Angel recognized it from when he saw my chains appear before. 

“Oh doll…” Pity. A look of pity is all I received and it made my chest tighten. My eyes scanned quickly over everyone. Everyone had the look of pity. I wiped the magic off before laughing dryly. “I have my ways around it obviously.” I waved them off. I don’t need their pity. I chose this. I just regret it lately. Alastor wasn’t always this closed off, at least not to me. We used to share almost everything. It was us against the world until he left me alone in it, twice.

“So, I take it we pissed off the Vee’s?” Vaggie stated as she looked at me and Charlie. She was holding up her phone that had Velvette’s recent social media post explicitly saying that Hell was about to freeze over.

“Well, it did give us the chance to actually redeem Angel Dust.” 

“Everything comes with a price though, Charlie.” I alluded to what was to come. The battles I can see happening here in the future are enough to worry me on what’s to come. The future is so unsettled on what can happen right now that I can only see small things and not the big picture. I felt a tightness in my chest again. 

“Stand straight darling.” Alastor smoothly spoke behind me as he pushed his hand against the small of my back and drifted up to make my spine straighten. I hate how he only gets on my case about that when Husk literally has a hunch back at this point. Deep breaths (Y/n). Deep breaths.

“Thanks sir.” I said through gritted teeth. Alastor flinched slightly at how I called him sir and how tightly I said it. He looked at me as if asking with his eyes, What is your problem? I couldn’t help but shift my jaw tighter. I squinted my eyes, You’re the problem dick. He clenched his jaw as well and pressed his hand harder into the small of my back, any harder and he would be pushing me. Somehow though, I noticed how his presence made the tightness in my chest go away. Despite the fact we were arguing through our eyes. Charlie turned towards Alastor, dragging our conversation to a quick halt. 

“What should we do in preparation?” She was mostly looking at me and not Alastor which made my once annoyed face into a smug one. They are looking towards me for leadership now. I warned you Al, don’t play with fire. After all, you are the reason I’m down in this mess anyway.

“We need to cover all our bases and make it seem like we aren’t even worried about whatever they are doing, and continue business as normal. Alastor and I will cover the rest. Just watch each other and don’t leave without a partner for a little while.” He seemed to relish in the fact I still sounded like I needed him. I can’t help but feel like he loves that feeling, even if he left me and still won’t tell me anything anymore. 

After spilling plans with Charlie and the team on what our next moves should be, I dismissed myself towards a separate room. I know he can feel the slight anger during our whole interaction because he swiftly follows me. 

“Yes, Alastor?” He smiled wider with his stupid half lidded eyes. But my god do I always melt- stop it. You’re mad, remember? How could he keep playing with your feelings? It's like these seven years took everything we built between each other and ripped it to shreds as if we were never anything. Were we though? 

“Inner battles dear?” I wish he would let that cheesy smile slip once or at least make it look sincere again. 

“You tell me. You’re the one who kicked me out of my own room.” He hummed playfully as I scrunched my face in anger.

“Well, since you’re my pet, it’s also my room.” That cocky motherf-

“We need to talk, Alastor. I want to begin the negotiation of my contract coming up soon.” A slip, his eyes screamed worry but then it was gone. Bingo.

“Renewing it again? We both know you will.” My smile matched his which unnerved him slightly.

“Remind me why again. If I remember correctly, you abandoned me for seven years, won’t talk to me anymore, and have been acting weird lately. You aren’t the Alastor I signed my soul away to.” I seethed. He was holding his jaw so tight I thought he was about to crack his teeth. I leaned closer, almost on my tippy toes to get in his face, his head looked down at me. I saw a glimpse of those eyes he used to give me. The eyes he would stare at me with while I listened to him talk for hours. Then they were replaced with a slight hurt. He opened his mouth, his smile quivering as he thought of the right words.

“There you are! Nifty got stuck in the toilet again, can you help us get her out?” Charlie spoke loudly. Everything I was about to get, all the answers, just…

…gone.

The feeling of overwhelming… EVERYTHING. I wanted to yell at Charlie. 

Why can’t you just wait? Fuck Charlie, you just ruined everything.

Alastor quickly fixed all the vulnerabilities he had and proclaimed, “Well of course! What type of help would I be around here if I didn’t?” I watched him walk away with Charlie, a hurt look that he caught when he glanced back. 

His smile faltered quick enough for me to see it. His eyes glanced at Charlie as if trying to tell me something before he fixed his behavior and carried on as normal with her when she looked back at him. They swiftly walked out as I was left in the entertainment room. 

Alastor, what did you do?

Husk was at the bar cleaning glasses from Angel and Cherri Bomb’s celebration. Swirling around my drink, wishing I didn’t drink as much as I did. I will hand it to Angel and Cherri for having such a persuasive way with drinking. My hair was slightly messy, my normal pantsuit switched out to my comfy clothes, and my eyes looked tired. 

“You finally going to admit you had too much yet?” Husk chuckled out. I chuckled back before I sipped the rest of my drink down quickly. The glass hitting the counter answered Husk instead, and the sound of it sliding down to him as I smiled at him.

“Nope.” I taunted back. He shook his head, pouring more into my cup, and gently sat in front of me. I stared at it for a little while before Husk sighed and piped up, “Penny for your thoughts?” He knew I loved it when he said the sayings I normally do. Made me feel like we really are real friends, despite the situation we are both in. 

“Well, I think I have a theory on what has Alastor… different.” I was careful with my choice of words as Husk eyed me. He knew I was never going to let this new Alastor last long. I mean Husk even was starting to get treated more like a dog rather than someone who helps Alastor with a slight rough friendship. Hard to believe we were all friends once. 

“Continue?” Husk poured himself a matching drink as he watched me intensely. This isn’t something I would bring out loud unless I had some sort of evidence pointing towards it. I shuffled my hands around before stealing a quick sip of my drink.

“I think Alastor made a deal he regrets but can’t talk about.” 

(Part 3...?)

(Lore buildingggg I promise next update will have one question answered. Can you guess which one? As always all characters and world belongs to the respected owners <3 story belongs to me. Tagged who I could! Thank you for loving the first one!)

(Should I add the songs that inspire the writing?)

TAG LIST: @immortal-ries @kat-nee @shybananabagellover @tiedyedghoulette @alyslovesflowers @seven709 @vixie--21 @montis-posts @trashbin-nie @sh3sa1dwhat @for-hearthand-home @funtimefreddynaofficial @jyoongim @eviebuggg

[concerningwolves]

Talking of folklore that really demonstrates the "people have always been people" thing, I think I've just found a new favourite example of this. It's an absurd little tale that's really fun for its content, but – and here's what made me jump on Tumblr to gleefully share the story – I am fairly certain there is a dick joke.

It's fairly common to find tales of churches that couldn't be built because the devil (or, rarely, fairies) would move the stones and undo any progress on the construction. With St. Trinian's in Crosby, Isle of Man, a buggane takes this role, and brings down the roof of the church every time it's nearly completed. For some absolute bonkers reason, a tailor called Timothy decided to sit in the church and sew a pair of breeches. It's unclear if he just needed a place to sit (and couldn't work at home? Where the roof isn't habitually wrecked by a terrifying sprite?), or if this was some plan to exorcise the buggane, or.... I don't know, really. Point is, Timothy sat there sewing as fast as he could, ignoring the buggane as it tried to scare him off – and finished the breeches and leapt out of the church just as the roof collapsed. The buggane then chased him until he ran onto consecrated ground, where the buggane couldn't enter. At which point the buggane removed its own head and threw it at Timothy, "where it exploded like a bomb shell". The story gleefully reports that Timothy survives unscathed. It does not tell us if the buggane survives, scathed or otherwise. This is apparently why the church has no roof.

Okay, so now we've established the totally balls to the wall narrative, here's the promised dick joke:

See, when the buggane is trying to frighten Timothy, it emerges out of the ground. First its head appears, and it asks "Do you see my great head, large eyes and long teeth?". Then its torso emerges, and it asks "Do you see my great body, large hands and long nails?". And finally, when its whole body emerges, it asks "Do you see my great limbs, large feet, and long..." But it doesn't get a chance to finish, because Timothy puts the last stitch in the breeches and escapes the church just as the roof collapses. And sure, there are other things that could go after that "long" (legs, perhaps), but I can so so clearly picture a guy several mugs deep, telling this story and just pausing on the looooong, probably making a suitable gesture, before slamming his mug onto the table to indicate that the church roof has collapsed.

[klbwriting]

Not Romeo, Not Juliet

Chapter 8: With My Eyes

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Warnings: mentions of blood and stitches

Summary: Jason goes to YN for help after being shot, then Dick finds them

Notes: this is so angsty and fluffy and amazing, I am loving writing this, I hope you're all liking it, and I'm realizing it might be longer than planned, might have to go passed the Shakespeare competition, not sure yet, let me know how you feel about it! Also song is 'Stick Season' by Noah Kahan

I would my father look’d but with my eyes.

— A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM, ACT 1 SCENE 1

It was late when Jason got to YN’s door but considering he was still bleeding from a bullet wound he didn’t care. He knocked, louder than necessary probably, the door opening a minute later, YN standing there with a large knife. Good, she knew better than to not have a weapon this late at night. Jason had stowed his gear in his bag in the alley by the apartment building, he would have to explain the gunshot to YN, but better that than explaining the whole Red Hood thing. She stared at him for a moment before seeing the blood dripping from his side.

“Jason…” she said, voice hitching a little, pulling him inside. “Um, ya, um, kitchen floor.” She scrambled to get an old blanket, setting it down on the floor and getting him a pillow, leaning it against the cabinets. He leaned against it, hearing her scrambling around the rest of the place, coming back with pills, a medicine kit, needle and thread.

“You think I need stitches again?” he asked. She stared at him.

“Every time you show up bloody you need stitches, I’m just prepared at this point,” she said, trying to make light of the situation, but her face was pale, and Jason assumed his pallor was similar. She gave him some pain pills first this time before having him peel his shirt off. “There has to be easier ways to get you to take your clothes off for me…” she muttered, and he barked out a laugh, this hissed in pain. “Hold still, I’m going to sew up the back first, lean forward.” He did as asked, head leaning against his knees. He heard her fumbling with the needle, dropping it once, her breathing staggered. He started to breathe deep and after a minute she started doing to same, mimicking his breath. “Are you ready?”

“Ya, go ahead YN, I trust you,” he said softly. She put a hand to his back, and he felt calm at the touch. He did trust her. It wasn’t something he was super familiar with anymore, considering how things ended with Bruce, how he had been abandoned and replaced. Even Alfred hadn’t bothered to do anything about his death, just moved on. Dick had cared but Jason could see the strain dealing with him was having on his brother. He was trying, he really was, but he couldn’t just sit still. He couldn’t force himself into that box of being a normal teenager. He was full of rage against those who would hurt people he cared about, and full of desire to help people, to make things better. Not Batman better, but for real better. He knew Dick wouldn’t like what he was doing, but he didn’t care anymore, not when he had YN. She was worth protecting, she was worth making this neighborhood better for. Everything felt better in him when he felt her hand, gently holding his back while she stitched him, her voice soft as it sang a random song to keep herself steady.

“I’m done with the back, can you lie on your back? I’m sorry if it hurts,” she said softly. He moved himself and she set the pillow down so he could lay his head on it. She disinfected the entrance wound, still not asking about it, focusing on stitching him instead. He watched her, noticing how her eyes were focused, her hair gently falling down the side of her face. He reached up and tucked it behind her ear just before she started. “No distracting me,” she said, voice soft but firm.

“Right, sorry, just wanted to look at you,” he said. The blush that hit her cheeks made him smile as she poked the needle in him. She went back to muttering a song again, one she had told him to listen to. He had listened and joined in when he realized where she was, she stopped just listening to him now.

So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad

She smiled, joining him again as she finished, putting another bandage on his stomach, looking at him. Instead of stopping he just kept singing, her joining him as they stared at each other.

And I’ll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now you’re tire tracks and one pair of shoes And I’m split in half, but that’ll have to do Oh, that’ll have to do My other half is you…

They both stopped, realizing they both had changed the words to the song. Jason leaned up on his elbows a little, ignoring the pain in abs. YN reached out and touched his face, tracing the scar on his cheek that she had stitched up.

“Jason…” she whispered, her voice the most angelic sound he had ever heard. He loved when she said his name. She leaned towards him and he pushed himself up more to meet her, just about to feel her lips on his, when the door burst open. Jason threw the knife he had in his pants pocket before he saw who was there, YN falling back to sit against the cabinets. Dick was lucky his reflexes were so good or he would have at least had a scar matching Jason’s.

“What are you doing here?” Dick asked, looking from YN to Jason and then to the blood on the kitchen floor. “What happened?” Jason stood slowly, YN helping him. She handed him his shirt and he looked at her, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he whispered. She nodded, folding her arms, noticing that Dick was glaring daggers at her. Jason didn’t understand why, but now he was livid. Not only had Dick pretty much cockblocked his first kiss since he had been dead, he also was scaring her with his look. He grabbed his bag and followed his brother out of the apartment building, glancing up at the window as he passed. YN was staring down, watching him get into Dick’s car. He slammed the door, tossing his bloody shirt and bag in the back. They drove home in silence.

“What in the hell were you thinking?” Dick asked, showing Jason video that was going viral of this ‘Red Helmet’, o God it was worse than Red Mask, taking down Maroni’s guys at the club. Jason sighed and shrugged, tossing his back on the couch. Dick immediately, opened it, finding his helmet. “So tell me, how long have you been outright lying to me?”

“A couple months,” Jason answered honestly. Dick nodded. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“O don’t pull that shit on me, I’m 24, I’m not that far removed from being you right now,” he said. “I can understand the helmet and you’re a hero, you saved everyone in that club, so good on you for that. But you could have told me about that, I would have taken you out patrolling Bludhaven with me.”

“I didn’t want to protect Bludhaven,” Jason muttered. Dick sighed and threw the helmet into the couch cushions next to his brother.

“No, you wanted to go see that girl,” he said. “What about that girl from the play, Annabeth?”

“Annabeth is a character from the Percy Jackson books I read as a kid, she is entirely made up,” Jason admitted. “I’ve been seeing YN when I’m not making sure I get perfect grades or going to practice.” He wanted to drive home that YN was not bad for him, he was still being the perfect little student, and doing exactly what Dick told him too, except for seeing someone he didn’t approve of. “And I still don’t understand what your problem is with her. I mean, not like I’m much better, I literally grew up in that apartment building, for all I know we could have met when we were kids…”

“She’s Sal Maroni’s daughter,” Dick said. Jason stopped and stared at him. It didn’t compute for a moment.

“Sal Maroni’s?” he asked. Dick nodded. “She doesn’t know who her father is, at all.”

“Ya well, he knows her. Why do you think she is going to Gotham Academy? He needs a spare child, and since both his adult children are on a crash course for disaster, she’s his last hope,” Dick explained. Jason shook his head.

“How do you know all this?” he asked. Dick looked at him like he couldn’t be serious. “Bruce, keeping tabs, I forget you talk to him still, just not about me.” His brother sighed.

“I don’t know how to tell him about you. But that’s not the point, the point is, when she graduates, Sal is going to offer for her to join him, to start becoming his second so that he can pass down his legacy to her,” he said. Jason shook his head.

“She wouldn’t do that, she’s not going to become some crime boss,” he argued.

“What if he offers her what she wants most in the world?” Dick countered. Jason stopped. Her mother’s cancer. Maroni could get them help, could help her mother live longer.

“We could help her first, we could give her that money for her mom, make up a non-profit or something, like Bruce used to do,” Jason said, wanting to do something to help her, to make sure that she didn’t fall into Maroni’s hands. Dick shook his head. “WHY?”

“Because Jason, we don’t actually know her…”

“You don’t know her! I know her! I LOVE HER!” Jason yelled, standing too quickly. He hissed out and glared as the stitches opened, new blood seeping through. Dick shook his head.

“You’re a kid Jason, you’ll get over it, now let’s go to the hospital and get you really fixed,” Dick said, ending the conversation. Jason was fuming. They may have finished talking for the night, but this wasn’t over.

[macsimagines]

I see very few Yan! Mitsuya and Yan! Hokkai post, so can we have one where they both share a darling?

(Ilove Hakkai so much. pretty baby~ Ms.Mac)

TW: Nsfw, Stalking and tracking, Threesomes idk...

Yandere!Mitsuya & Yandere!Hakkai

Ok so Mitsuya and Hakkai were involved. Mitsuya would dom the fuck out of Hakkai and he loooooved the attention. But soon they both notice you.

You probably caught them one day and agreed to keep things a secret for them. You were very supportive and would always cover for one or the other so they wouldn't get caught.

Eventually they tried to repay you. Mitsuya would constantly be showering you with clothes he designed or outfits he got you to compliment your figure and Hakkai would be defending you from anyone that tried to fuck with you. (I mean they both fight for your sake, but Hakkai is so shy that fighting in your name is all he can handle.)

It's no wonder they fall in love with you.

They make sure no one can take you from them. Mitsuya is so nice that you don't suspect that he's sewing trackers into all your clothes and Hakkai is so quiet that you'd never expect that he's beating the shit out of anyone that asks you out.

Both walk in on you changing into one of Mitsuya's new dresses and they both get a boner.

NSFW

Best sex they had was to the thought of your body. And Mitsuya decides he wants two pretty babies and Hakkai thinks they deserve you more than anyone else does.

Mitsuya has to take the lead in seducing you, Hakkai can't even talk to you yet but he has a plan for that... You aggreed to be a figure model for one of new designs and he's caressing you body while taking your measurements.

You try to keep it professional but you can't help the way you're flushing when he's running a hand up your bare thigh and saying "You're skin's so soft, baby. Absolutely perfect."

And you feel so hot under Hakkai's gaze, who's just staring at his two favorite people getting steamy together.

Mitsuya kisses you suddenly, and he won't let you get away or try to ask what he's doing. The way his fingers are playing with your pussy is too good to form a single thought.

When he does pull away he tells you too look at what you do to him and then makes you look over at Hakkai, who's got his dick out and is pumping it to the image of you two making out.

Hakkai gets to be in the middle with you under him and Mitsuya behind him, and he's cumming the second his big dick is fully stuffed into you, but Mitsuya just rocks his own hips more and makes Hakkai keep fucking you even though he's over stimulated

Mitsuya makes the poor baby babble about how good you both feel and is just loving the way you're gasping under both of them and Hakkai is crying about how too good it feels.

When everything is done Mitsuya just watches the pair of you leak out cum and feels that all is well with the world...

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 1 Part 1 (6/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

DIO BRANDO

why i like him: he’s evil, he’s funny, he’s a vampire, he’s a dick for no reason, he’s British, he’s bisexual, he stops time, and everything bad that happens in the series is his fault why he deserves to be in: LITERALLY kicks puppies, that’s his THING. Ruins adoptive brother’s life just because he’s Mean and Evil. Kills people. Kills animals. Does weird horrible things to people for literally no reason. Turns people into zombies. Kisses women without their consent. Brainwashes people. Seduces lovers and sucks their blood while a weird old lady watches in the corner. Ruins generations of lives even after his ass is dead. can you be cancelled by twitter users: yes absolutely

BELIAL

Belial is the primal beast/angel of cunning, and one of the main antagonist of the side story "What makes the sky blue". He's the very first primal in existence and had a profound romantic and sexual devotion for his creator, Lucilius. So profound that he commited all sort of crimes to get Lucilius's love and approval, and only got worse in worse when Lucilius only showed distate for him. Mind you those were crimes Lucilius wanted him to do, but Belial was just never enough compared to the second primal beast, Lucifer, the angel overseeing Evolution. List of crimes includes: -Provoked like 3 attempted apocalypses -Organized a group of rebel fallen angels in order to make them Lucilius's experiments subjects later, torturing all of them for thousand of years. -When Lucilius was beheaded by Lucifer, Belial vowed to bring Lucilius back to life…. By organizing Lucifer's murder and beheading him in order to use Lucifer's corpse to sew Lucilius's head on it -Also managed to blame Lucifer's boyfriend for Lucifer's death because "well it's your fault he died since he was trying to protect you so he wasn't fighting at his full strength :/" -He is also extremely sexual and is constantly talking about wanting to orgasm on the spot, or engage in sexual intercourses with anyone he encounters -Also the type of person who kills his one night stands after he's done with them. -Calls torturing people for fun just himself indulging in his SM side. -He's spoken a lot about his goal to Fuck Lucifer's Corpse, in front of Lucifer's boyfriend. -Also is constantly doing sexual remarks to said boyfriend. -He's torn the wings of the one person who was still loyal to him (technically to save his life but he lied that he was doing it just to torture him) -Also he lies all the time and backstabbed everyone we ever see him make plans with -Guilttripped the protagonist by faking his suicide -Helped the protagonist at the last hour during their fight against Lucilius in order to be locked into an interdimensional prison for all of eternity with the man who hates his guts, out of love for him, while the guy couldn't think of a worst way to spend eternity. -But by helping us i mean "gave us a ship, and then we learnt that he left a bomb on that ship, nearly killing us" -Has been appearing in MC's dreams regularly to manipulate them into embracing a magic that will make MC his puppet -Managed to mind control MC for long enough to have MC try to kill their soulmate. -In the spin off fighting game he mind controlled a lot of people in the same way to make them his puppets and force them to try to kill their loved ones. -He's described in the game as "Just, The Worst". -Has this for theme song and we're supposed to think it's normal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2MHUJTciRg Personally i like him a lot because there's Layers to his depravity, mainly also that the horny feels a lot like an act some of the time, and that he's ultimately a man with intense inferiority complex and self destructive because he wants the love of his uncaring creator at all cost.

He's fairly popular in the fanbase but i've somewhat also seen a LOT of takes about how you're a bad person if you stan him. Mainly i've once seen a call out post saying all fans of Granblue Fantasy are bad because "Belial is a pedophile" quickly followed by "but i never played granblue". Like. The dude's a canon necrophile why did you need to add a crime he didn't commit on the list. (pretty sure it was on the list since he's an immortal guy who's two thousands years old who flirts with mortal people so there is Always An Age Gap but didn't he commit worse than that by now.) I've also seen some people hate him for how clingy he is to Lucilius and how he's earned all the abuse he recieves from his creator, but i don't know if those groups sweeped as low as to call his fans bad for it lmao. Oh right and once he was trending on Twitter and a lot of catholic people started to cause an outrage because "how could the youth worship the demon Belial by making him an anime boy, you're all going to hell", it was fun! There's a lot more problematic characters in the franchise that would honestly fit more to this prompt, but Belial is the only one who's popular enough to have people, even outside of the Granblue fanbase, make judgement on people who like him because he's Terrible.

pollrunner's note: belial's propaganda was all from one person and is supposed to be one big quote block but tumblr didn't like that so I had to split it up a little bit

[uummi]

Written for @dicktimweek 2023

Day 1: Soulmate AU | Nightwing!Tim | Time Loop Day

Words Count: 1508

Title: Day of the dead

Pairing: Dick Grayson/Tim Drake

Warnings: Major Character Death| Blood and Gore| Suicide| Emotional Instability| Self-harm Done Unwittingly

Tim was falling from the sky at an unhealthy speed

His eyes were closed, his body had become even weaker since he was last seen, there were wounds hidden by traces of blood at the points where his wings were

He wasn't making any kind of movement to fly. Dick thought once more, had Tim learned to float in the blue the moment he jumped out of the nest with a sense of betrayal?

Just a few more steps... Why don't you make an effort to catch?

If there was Tim instead of him, he would have handled this situation in one go

Dick dared not think about anything else as he looked at the corpse stuck in the middle of the street in a new costume unlike his childish Robin one

Which is the biggest thing that Tim forgot because he felt betrayed was that he would always be Dick's first Robin, and Dick always liked to see his soulmate in his own colors

Tim's tiny body was bent at an abnormal angle, his eyes inside the domino were left open by the impact of the collision

There was a pool of blood formed by the effect of the rain that started around, and most civilians were closing their eyes in pain and trying to go home

Because they knew that no one would get help from Batman today. Dick wasn't going anywhere, he wasn't going to leave Tim alone once again

Even if the one he loves will never notice again

Even though his black suit was dyed red, he sat on the floor without caring about the blood pond. He took the glove off over his thin fingers and began to touch the body, which began to fade slowly

He stood for a few seconds in the smiling pinkness. Shamefully giving his first kiss by pulling him into a corner at one of Bruce's parties, that beautiful lips were turning increasingly blue

Dick still remembered very clearly the taste of the soft piece of meat, how he wiped Tim's tears from his slightly brimming eyes and how they went back to the party while joking with each other

He could hear the other superheroes starting to gather around him, those who had known averted their eyes from Dick, while others questioned why Batman was so interested in a small runaway bird, but he still didn't get up

As soon as he was left alone, he joined his hands together and began to beg

One more time he said, please, just one more time...

It couldn't have ended like this, they had so many more plans

This should not have been the end

So the question is, how many more times did he have the strength to do this?..

Dick let out a scream that filled his throat, quickly opened his eyes and kicked the coverlet above him with a feeling of tightness. He knew that Damian was scribbling something on his art notebook he picked up on the opposite seat and was watching him with one eyebrow up when he reacted, but he didn't care

He just cursed towards the calendar, which sewed up his blueness and blinked in front of him, and then felt that he couldn't breathe with all the emotions that came with a tremor

He took his head between his hands and closed his mind to the tears decaying from his eyes and the ugly choking sounds

How many was that? Why every time Tim slipped through his fingers to turning into a dust?

He had tried every move he could think of. He caught Tim in time, but his little soulmate took his last breath before he even had a chance to get help from internal bleeding

Or he participate in the battle with Ra's with him but still did not manage to prevent his fall

Tim held out his hand for a moment and tried to get help. His angel still trusted him, which made Dick happy for a moment

The worst case scenario was when he found Tim without him entering Gotham and helped him make his plans which made Dick think he had achieved just a second

Everything went well for that one, he even prevented Tim from suffocating due to the air pressure because he was trying to fly high, but before he had time to celebrate, his baby was poisoned by a ninja

His non-existent spleen also weakened his normally strong immune system, taking away his chance of survival

He nervously pulled his hands from his head and threw them on top of each other. He ignored the noise that formed, such as his nails gaining strength or sounds coming out of sandpaper

It was so ridiculous, it didn't mean anything

What more could he have done to save Tim?

He should never have let him go. If necessary, he had to imprison the little body inside the mansion and ensure that his energy, born with a smile on his face, was protected at the risk of being destroyed and becoming a hollow shell

And now, because of Dick, who couldn't manage to use the chances he had properly, there was no chance that he would ever be more than that empty shell again

The scraping sounds increased a little more, although the inside of his nails slowly turned red, their speed increased even more

Damian got up from his chair, was his picture finished?

If he asked the boy, would he give him a picture of Tim as a gift?

A smell was beginning to come to his nose

Would Tim's hair have continued to smell of coffee as usual?

Pain, pain, pain...

He couldn't take it anymore...

'Richard, stop it!'

He woke up with a sudden start and shot a glance at Damian, who was calling to him

He was looking scared, Dick wonder if something had happened

Besides, why did his arms hurt so much?..

He stared at the blood flowing down his arm like a stream and realized that he was experiencing enlightenment in an instant

He was really a complete idiot

Between both of their relationships, Tim had always been the smarter one, and Dick was definitely proud of that

This time he began to laugh, not noticing the frightened gaze of Alfred, who came with Damian's fearful scream. Of course, why hadn't it occurred to him before?

It was always because of that little boy in his soul who believed that he could save everyone because he was a hero

No, Dick knew that death was necessary. And that there must be a reason for the rules that the gods set when creating soulmates

So it wasn't about Tim

It was about Dick...

That's why he didn't do any extra work that evening. He accepted Tim's words asking him to trust him, he even tried to refuse to trust him once in this endless loop to result in with Tim did not even let Dick catch him, he fought with the ninjas attacking them with Damian, listened to the sounds coming from Tim via the radio, and just as the cracking crackles of the glass began to fill his ears, he went up in the air

He let the wind blow his cloak for a few seconds

He wouldn't have a chance anymore, so he wanted to forget

They had come to the end, hadn't they?

He cut the rope that allowed him to glide with the help of a knife at the moment when Tim and his own body met. Although he knew that the young boy's eyes were looking around in surprise and he was trying to forcibly move their bodies away, he began to smile peacefully

Really why hadn't he thought of it before? There was no way he could have saved Tim on this same day, so they both had to die together

He ignored the screams, took the tiny hands that were nailing his arms decently between his own calloused hands and gave them a tiny kiss

Tears were beginning to flow from the eyes of his little baby, he was barely looking at his tool belt, looking for something to help them stay in the air at least for a while longer

Did it just occur to you that you know how to fly? Didn't I teach you, Tim, you need to flap your wings

Nothing would work, the two of them would integrate into the ground together, it would be impossible for them to separate

The gods give humans some people who will complete them in the creation of humanity

Maybe a grace maybe paying for a sin the bodies where two half-souls live would die in the same time period

Dick was cursed as usual, so for the last few times, his soulmate had tried to rise to eternity by leaving him behind

Never again... Never again...

This life and beyond...

They were always going to be together...

Gotham cried to its two guardian who fell in the next morning

[final-girl96]

STOLEN HEARTS CHAPTER THREE

☆

☆

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April 19, 1984

I scoffed and pulled the leftover chinese out. "He was fucking late and we didn't even do any studying. But I'm meeting him at the diner on Saturday at one. So I won't be home until sometime in the evening." He nodded his head, "Are you sure you're okay with tutoring him? You seem pretty upset." I waved him off, "I'm fine, dad. He's just full of himself and so fucking annoying. He goes through girls like their fucking skittles or something. One after the other!" I started to rant.

"And none of them will admit that they've been with because that would mean social suicide for them. I'm admitting they had sex with the freak if Hawkins would be the end of their social life forever!" Dad held up his hand stopping my word vomit. "The freak of Hawkins? Why do they call him that?" He asked. I sat down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. "Because he's a metal head and plays DnD and is in a band," I said.

He nodded his head and hummed. "So because he dresses differently and listens to metal and plays a game he's a freak? This town has not changed one fucking bit." He shook his head and I sighed. "Just so you know I've never called him that. I've never judged him for that. I only judge him for the way he thinks he's the god of sex and how cocky he is and how full of himself he can be. And he's mean to people too! And–"

Dad held up his hand again. "Okay, sweetheart, I get it. You don't like the kid…wait did you say he's in a band?" I raised my eyebrow. "You're just now realizing I said he was in a band?" I asked. "I don't like it. I don't want you tutoring him or being near him." I started laughing, "oh, my god, dad! I don't plan on doing anything with him. I'm going to make sure he passes the next two tests and the final and be done with him. I am not interested in Eddie fucking Munson."

April 21, 1984

"Getting ready to go meet that boy? The boy who also happens to be in a band and can't keep his dick in his pants." I choked on the water I was drinking and looked at my dad. I patted my chest to try and help my coughing fit. "Jesus, dad! His name is Eddie and I have to meet him in half an hour…at the diner…where there will be other people."

I left the kitchen and went upstairs to get ready to leave. After getting all my stuff together I headed for the front door. "I'll take you." I turned around and shook my head. "Absolutely not! Don't you have a new album to work on? Aren't the other guys going to be here?" I asked. "They can wait." I walked over to him, kissing his cheek and chuckling. "I'll be fine, dad. Don't worry I won't let the big bad boy who's in a band corrupt me."

When I got to the diner I was surprised to see Eddie already there. What I wasn't surprised about was that he was making out with some girl in the corner back the hall where the bathrooms were. I only knew he was there when I saw his van parked out front. When I walked in I didn't see him until I sat at a table in the back where I could see down that same hall. It wasn't hard to tell it was him, especially with the hair and the big Dio patch he sewed on the back of his demi vest.

I thought about going over and interrupting them but decided against it. Instead I just got my stuff out and waited. "What can I get ya, sugar?" I looked up at the waitress standing beside the table. She was an older woman with gray scattered throughout her hair. She smacked her gum and gave me a warm smile before leaning down closer to me. "You're daddy Jac Hexley?" She whispered. I looked at her with wide eyes and nodded. "I thought so. He used to come in here all the time."

I smiled at her and looked around before they landed on my hands that were in my lap. "Don't worry, sweetie. I ain't gonna say a word. Now what can I get ya?" I looked up at her, "I'm actually waiting for someone." I looked down the hall to where Eddie was and she sighed. "That boy can't seem to keep his tongue in his own mouth. "Well, if you change your mind just holler."

A few minutes later I saw her going over to Eddie and saying something to him. The girl looked horrified that she had been caught making out with "the freak". Eddie wiped the corner of his mouth m, smirking as the girl pointed at him while saying something. I was assuming it was something along the lines of he better not tell anyone about it. Then she ran out if the diner and Eddie made his way over to me. He slid into the seat across from me and leaned back.

"You're late," he said. I scoffed and shook my head. "Actually, I was on time. If you weren't busy sucking that poor girl's face off you'd know that. Now, let's get to work. I don't want to spend more time with you than I need to." I pulled out the folder Ms. Adler gave me and laid out the first paper. It was one of his tests with little notes on the sides. He got maybe six of the questions right.

"Okay, so it looks like you struggle more with the fraction part. I looked up at Eddie not even paying attention. "Hello!" I snapped my fingers and he turned his head to look at me. "I don't need to know any of this shit to be a rockstar. So what's the fucking point?" I sighed and set my pen down. "For one you need to pass this class to graduate. For two, math actually comes in handy in the real world. Even for a rockstar."

He looked away from me and looked out the window. "You're a musician, you should know that math is a big part of music. Especially fractions. I mean to be honest I'm a little surprised you're not better in math with being a musician," I said. He looked over at me, "and what would you know about music? Huh? Look, let's just get this over with I would like to take a fucking nap before my gig tonight."

It went like this for two weeks of us arguing back and forth more than actually studying. "All we do is fight! He's impossible, dad! I mean you would think he knows this stuff with him being a musician!" I was pacing back and forth in the kitchen. Dad and the rest of the band watched as I went on a rant about Eddie. "Well, honey, there's no shame in giving up on him." I stopped my pacing and looked at him. "Dad!" I whined. He let out a long sigh.

"Alright. Maybe you just need to find a way that he'll understand it," he said. Ash, the drummer in the band, nodded his head. "Yeah, the kids in a band right?" I nodded my head. "So, that means he probably writes his own songs. Maybe you can explain it to him with music and then he'll understand it." There was a collective Yeah and everyone started pitching ideas. I just looked at them until they all stopped. "How do you suppose I do that? I've never written a song in my life."

"Maybe your dad can help out with that," Bret, the band's bass guitarist said. Dad whipped his head towards him. "Excuse me?" They all gave him a look and he groaned. "Fine. Bring him by. Me and the guys will try and help." The other guys tried to protest but he gave them a look that sgur them up. "Bring him by this weekend."

[newsies-are-the-new-best-thing]

A Study in Sprace

Jack doesn’t fall in love much, that is a lie ask any one of the newsies, but he found himself head-over-heels for a certain brunette journalist who was a girl (the girl thing was made clear to not be the focus of her description). A jolly tune was making its way to his mouth ready to begin humming along to the happy little song in his heart as he began climbing up the lodging house’s fire escape. Deciding a glimpse of the city below would settle his mind enough to begin thinking of sleep, he pulls himself onto the roof and then stumbles over himself when he spies a pair of boys already up there huddled together. If anyone asked why he decided to hide and listen to them, he’d say he wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything bad happening but in truth his brain was absolutely fried by the breath-taking sight of Kathrine, and he couldn’t snap himself back to reality to stop himself from eves-dropping.

“You’s think we’s could ever actually live t’ gether?” Race asks softly into the night air.

“…If you’s weren’t such a mess, maybes” Comes Spot’s quiet reply.

“Hey, fuck you’s Spot,” Race says laughing brightly, breaking the calm, and Jack suspects Race is shoving Spot in retaliation “you’re the one who can’t sew or cook worth shit.”

“You can’t cook neither.” Spot retorts and Jack can sense a sickeningly sweet smile spreading across the other’s face. “And I’m a fine sewer, I’s just ain’t sewin’ your clothes.”

“Why not” Race whines, Jack winces at the mental image the sound instills, big puppy-dog eyes staring up at him until he broke and did whatever the younger boy wanted, even if it ended up with him covered in mud, or flour, or sand, or- there were a lot of times Jack ended up covered in something due to Race.

“ ‘cause you’ll just leech offa me an I’ll get stuck sewin’ everythin’ …..maybe if you’s weren’t such a dick about-”

“Hey! I’s said it’s fine if you’s don’t want me aroun’ the other Brooklyn boys, I’m fine with it-” Jack could tell Race clearly wasn’t fine with it,

“You’s oughtta be, if you’s still wanna be with me-”

“Yeah, I’s do still wanna be with you so, think about it…. us livin’ t’gether, havin’ our own place”

“You’s sound like you’ve already picked outa paint color for the kitchen.” Spot grumbles.

“Ahh yes, it’ll be bright blue ta’ match with the plates we’d get. And o’ course, we’d hafta get a nice set a’ silverware”

“o’ course we’d need silverware Racer, we couldn’t eat with jus’ our hands-”

“Yeah, so a fancy set a silverware an’ a coffee pot for you’s an’ your special coffee. Jus’ picture it Spottie, wakin’ up in the mornin’, actually buyin’ a ‘pape ta’ read over the coffee I make ya’”

“You’s mean the coffee I’d make myself since you’s still asleep, snorin’ ‘till it’s noon”

“So, I’ll make ya’ lunch, any sorta sandwich you’s want, set out the fancy plates and forks, maybe even make some lemonade ta’ have with it.”

“…maybe ice cream too”

If Jack wasn’t love drunk this sappy conversation would have made his insides riot and involuntarily exit his mouth in protest. But he was, and all he could gather from Race and Spot’s sickening display of young love, was inspiration with a love of his own, hiding there on the rooftop, wondering if Kathrine also wanted a coffee pot in Jack’s rose-tinted future for them.

-------------

A few thoughts I had....fits in with my series on Ao3, pretty much an excerpt or interlude of sorts between my latest fanfic and the one I have planned.

[butwhyduh]

How do you think the batfam would react if they found that Dick's health was seriously deteriorating due to overwork, but Dick was hiding it because he wanted to continue helping the family with the cases?

Warning: bleeding mentioned

Dick gasped as the knife sliced his side like butter. No time to assess it now. He did a spinning kick that landed on the guys face and he went down.

Dick’s phone rang. Shit, your date. He had been working so much that he wasn’t exactly a great boyfriend at the moment and was trying to make up that. He tried to stop working so much but Damian and Bruce were fighting and Tim needed help with a case and Jason needed dating advice. That’s why Dick was so tired. That’s why he got hurt.

Dick grabbed a gauze from his pack and taped it to his side tightly. That should stop the bleeding. He could go on the date and then sew himself up in your bathroom with his emergency kit. No lidocaine but he could handle it probably.

Dick showed up at your door with a sweater over his shirt with a pair of blue jeans he quickly threw on.

“Hey,” you said giving Dick a hug. He held a groan as your arm touched his side. Fuck that hurt. “I thought we could go for a walk at the pier and get some street food.”

“Oh,” Dick said. That’s usually a great date. Moving that much while actively bleeding was a bad idea. “We can. I thought we could go see that movie you wanted to watch instead.”

“Oh sure, that sounds good,” you said with a grin. You grabbed your keys. “Do you want to catch the train?”

Parking was a nightmare but so was running to the train and slowly bleeding underground. Not to mention possibly catching some random infection.

“I’ll drive,” Dick answered as bright as he could. Half an hour later he was mentally cursing everything as he tried to find a place to park only to have to walk half a mile to the theatre.

“Dick are you okay? You look pale,” you asked.

I’m fairly certain I’m bleeding out but let’s finish the date first, Dick thought. “I’m fine. Just need some water and probably a nap,” he said with a little laugh that made his eyes water.

“You go find the seats and I’ll get you a drink and snack. Go relax,” you said watching him worried. Dick nodded and forced himself to not walk as if every breath was painful. Was he bleeding through the bandage? He didn’t bring another. Bad plan. If he wasn’t in pain he would have planned for that.

He strategically planned for you to sit on his bad side after much thought. You always sat on that side and though you were more likely to touch it than a stranger, you were less likely to hit him over a stranger.

He sat in a low row. Usually you both sat far up in the back, just in case kissing was on the menu but the idea of going up more stairs was horrifying to Dick. You found him and he could see a little worried look on his face but you didn’t mention it.

The movie started and you shared popcorn and a drink with him and Dick was certain he could survive this. He checked once during a fight scene that yeah, he was bleeding through his bandage. Thank goodness the hoodie he wore was black.

You turned and kissed him softly and tried to lean on his shoulder. And before Dick could think of anything to say, you moved the armrest and leaned against his side. He gasped loudly and you pulled back quickly. You looked down at the dark color on your fingers.

“Is that blood,” you whispered, confused.

“No,” Dick answered a little too quickly.

“God, are you bleeding,” you asked looking at him. He was sweaty and breathing heavily and pale as sheet. “Dick, are you bleeding badly?”

“I’ll be fine,” he insisted.

“Oh god. You’re bleeding a lot,” you said starting to panic a little.

“I’ll be fine. But can we go home? I’m sorry to ruin the movie,” Dick insisted.

“The movie? I don’t care about that! Come on,” you whispered furiously. You helped Dick stand up and you started walking out the theatre. He looked awful. The kid working at the theatre looked at you both confused.

“Stomach bug,” you said as you both walked out to the street. Dick could feel himself grow lightheaded but he tried to power on to the car. If he could get there then he’d be fine.

Instead Dick passed out just away from where anyone from the theatre could see. You barely was able to lower him to the ground safely. “Dick!” You gasped. You pulled out his phone and called the first brother’s phone number you can find.

“What up Dickwad, little busy.”

“Jason,” you breathed and he sat up quickly at your tone. “Dick is bleeding and he passed out and I don’t know what to do,” you said worried.

“I’m on the way. Put pressure on it until I get there,” he said jumping up and running out the door. It was only a few more minutes until he arrived. You couldn’t help but think how vulnerable you both were on the street in Gotham.

“He really did himself in,” Jason said as he pulled up the sweater to look at the blood blooming through the bandage. Jason tapped another layer on top of the old. “We’ll fix it at my place. I live nearby,” he said carrying Dick to the car and placing him in the back. You climbed in with him to keep pressure on his wound.

Dick woke up 3 hours later with an IV in his arm on a cold leather couch. You sat on the coffee table with his hand in yours.

“Dickie?” You asked when you noticed.

“Hey,” he breathed. “What happened?”

“What happened was that you lost a fourth of your blood and almost gave your girlfriend a heart attack,” Jason answered standing by the couch with his arms crossed. “You were lucky I keep O positive in the fridge.”

“For bleeding or drinking?” Dick quipped tiredly. You both smiled at him.

“Either,” Jason answered. “Just don’t fucking do that again. I thought you died, Dick.”

“Not the first time I’ve heard that one.”

“Dickie, we should have just stayed home. Why didn’t you tell me? You could have died,” you said and your tone made Dick wince.

“I didn’t want to ruin the date. I hadn’t taken you anywhere recently and I didn’t want to be a bad boyfriend,” Dick answered.

“Jesus, I think she’d be more mad if you died.”

“Thanks Jason. I’ve got it,” you said. Jason put up his hands in defeat and walked in the kitchen. “Dick I want you. Not a date or a movie or anything like that. I want to spend time with you and preferably not when you are bleeding to death. Don’t ever do anything like that again.”

“Okay,” he answered with a nod. His eyes kept closing and you could tell he was going to sleep more soon. “Can’t believe you admitted you want me. What a nerd.”

“Dick.”

[princessofguineapigs]

Unwrap Me | Charlie Puth

Requested by @strngengh2brk

All of Charlie's friends and family were gathered at his and your house for the party you were hosting for his 30th birthday. You'd even hired a jazz trio to play live music for the occasion.

All night, you'd been enjoying watching Charlie have a great birthday and the best of it was you got to be by his side. You were laughing and playing games with everyone when his mom suggested that he open some gifts.

He opened his sister's first, a new sweater in his favorite color. He went on to each friend and family member, thanking them in turn. Yours was last and Charlie was the most excited for it. He tore at the wrapping paper like a toddler at Christmas. Inside was a book on old automobiles and a button-up shirt with a sheet music pattern printed on it.

His hazel eyes lit up when he saw it. "Darling, these are so thoughtful. I love them." He kissed your cheek, earning an 'aw' from his mother. "I'm glad you like them."

"Where did you find a shirt like that?" his friend Adam asked.

You blushed. "Actually, I made it."

"What? You sewed this? Darling I had no idea you could." He shed the black button-up he'd thrown over his signature white tank. "I'm putting it on right now."

You had to admit it looked even better on him than you'd hoped.

"I have one more present for you," you whispered when he leaned in to hug you. "But you'll probably be taking that off."

Conversations were starting back up around you now that the presents were done. Charlie politely excused himself from the group and took your hand in his.

"Now where could this other present be?" he asked smugly.

"It's in the bedroom," you replied.

He lifted you off the ground, eliciting a tiny squeal from you and practically sprinted up the stairs to your bedroom. "Where is it?" he demanded, eyeing your body. "Give it to me."

"Calm down, tiger, don't you want to unwrap it yourself?"

You barely got the words out before you were naked and your dress was thrown to the other side of the room. He tore his own clothes off, stopping temporarily to carefully drape the new shirt over a chair, but ripped the tank over his head.

His pants were next and you marveled at the sight. You'd never get tired of his strong abs, the cute freckles on the left side, or the impressive member currently standing erect.

"Spread."

Your legs parted to reveal your dripping heat. Charlie climbed onto the bed and hovered over your body. His lips and teeth went to your neck to mark you as his. Normally, you'd object this close to being around people, but you'd be damned if you weren't going to give the birthday boy everything he wanted on his special day.

He pushed into you easily and his fully hard cock touched the entrance of your cervix. It wasn't a surprise that your soulmate's body was made for yours, but that didn't mean you couldn't appreciate it every time.

Charlie started moving faster than he normally did at the beginning and you could tell he'd been thinking about this during the majority of the party. You wanted him to enjoy this more, not be so rushed and desperate for a high.

You got an idea and hooked your legs around his waist as tight as you could. You rocked your hips and pushed against his shoulders to flip the two of you. Once on top, you readjusted your hips to take him better.

"Damn, baby, you're so fucking hot."

Raising and lowering yourself on his cock, you rode him like a porn star. You moaned like crazy and gyrated at a tantalizing pace. To keep things interesting, you decided to spell. Concentrating, you moved through each letter, fucking HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLIE up and down his dick.

"Shit, fuck, baby, I'm almost there."

"What do you need, love?" you asked.

"Tell me we can have a baby."

You were startled. "What?" You'd wanted to have a child with Charlie, but you'd never discussed it beyond joking about baby names.

"I wanna get you pregnant. Right now. No pull out. No plan B. Please, please, let's have a baby." He gripped your hips tight to keep you in place. "Please, I want this if you do." His breathing was heaving and he was achingly hard.

You calculated the odds. Even if he did get you pregnant, this was your forever. This was what you wanted. You kissed his lips. "Knock me up, daddy." The name had potential new meaning.

Charlie came in your cunt, spraying your cervix. He sat up and kissed you. "Mmmmm, my beautiful girl."

"Happy birthday."

He helped you off his lap. "Y'know, in nine months we could have another birth to celebrate."

"You weren't kidding?"

"About starting a family with you? That's never been a joke to me."

click here to be added to the taglist

Charlie’s birthday celebration 🍾

@violetlilysunshine @smoo00shybear @iboop @highratedkudi @multixfandomwriter @mcushvft @crabat-the-queen @strngengh2brk @meetmyothersouls @terbear5277

[necros-writing-stuff]

Noncon breeding where the pc hasn't developed the Stockholm syndrome trait but eden wants kids yesterday?

It had just been another trip into the forest. It had just been a normal day. Yet a month later, you had never returned home, instead spending the majority of your days pinned beneath a huge muscled hunter as he uses your body as a cum-dump.

A perfect spouse, that's what he wants. So you're taught his favourite breakfast meal, taught how to make soap and healing salves. And your poor little pussy is wrecked so often you think it might be shaping to his dick now.

The first week was the worst. You hadn't learned that the hunter didn't care for your comfort, and wouldn't no matter how much you cried and begged. Most of it was spent tied up and being used. It was in the second that he let you out, let you wander the cabin on your leash and learn how things are done here.

When your period had come, Eden had been disappointed. Not mad, no. You've been behaving and letting him have you by then, so his anger is kept in check. He just tried again. Tried to fill you up to ensure that his seed will take.

"You'll look beautiful bearing my child," he'd grunt into your ear, pinning your legs to your chest as he hammers away. If you finish, you're lucky. He doesn't care about that, only that when he finishes, it's inside. Only that he can watch his sperm dribble from your hole, maybe even finger it back inside. If he had any plugs, he'd put one in. Just to make sure.

You're staying up late at night, trying to get this leash off, or at least find a key for the collar. There doesn't seem to be one, no matter how many dark recesses you check.

And then it happens. You miss your period. You start throwing up for no damn reason. Your nose gets more sensitive, your tastebuds change. You're pregnant. You both know it, and the hunter is pleased. Starts drawing up plans for a cot, gives you fabric to start sewing up clothes. He doesn't hear you crying at night. Doesn't see into your mind, where you wish you could get free of him and go back to your life. But you can't do that, not anymore. You're stuck as the breeding bitch of a lonely, abusive man. You hope your child will give you the joy that you've been missing here, and that one day you'll be able to take them from this place, too.

[cjsmalley]

The Ceremony:

The day had dawned, and the grounds of Wayne Manor were…not exactly lively as a flood of ghosts were prepping the grounds but busy.

Alfred wasn’t quite unhappy with the extra hands but he did resent being turned into a commander and then told to mostly relax.

The Phantoms, most of them at least, had arrived early with a small army of servants willing to help.

The bride and grooms were being distracted by family and friends and not allowed to see each other; Damian was being used to ferry messages between the three.

He took the task with dignity and did so swiftly when asked. He was the only male allowed in Koriand’r’s room and took the honor seriously.

He slid through the cracked door, announcing, “Miss Anders, Richard proclaims his love for you again and his surety that you are a work of art in your gown…” then he added, “I think Richard’s become slightly hysterical with his love for you and Wallace.”

Kori giggled, staying still so Marinette could finish the last-minute alterations needed, while the other women keeping her company just outright laughed.

“Adrien was the same on our wedding day,” Marinette said knowingly.

“It’s sweet,” Buffy agreed, “you should’ve heard Spike under a love spell—we were planning a wedding and he just spouted poetry for me every other word. Turns out it wasn’t exactly the spell; he still recites poetry for me.”

“You’re not married?” Stephanie asked, cocking her head.

“Kinda hard to get married when the groom’s undead,” Buffy said dryly, “and gets hives—literal hives—from consecrated grounds that aren’t graveyards or cemeteries. Any ceremony we hold would be a big freaking beacon too, to every nasty to come gatecrash.”

Everyone nodded in understanding.

“We were planning—under the spell of course—to hold the ceremony in the most active cemetery. We did find a pretty spot that didn’t look too gloomy,” Buffy added thoughtfully, before shrugging, “I’m not even sure he could get through the vows without Dusting. Marriage is holy right?”

“Sometimes,” Selina agreed before saying, “Bruce and I aren’t quite married either, Steph—common-law.”

“I’ve been married to the Doctor so many times they all cancel each other out or else we’re practicing polyamory with ourselves,” Rose stuck her head into the room, “twenty minutes, girls. Tick-tock!”

“And done,” Marinette stood up, packing away her emergency sewing kit, “whoever did your dress was very good at their job, Miss Anders.”

“Please, call me Kori,” Kori spoke, “thank you for your work.”

“It really was no problem,” Marinette replied modestly.

Marinette turned to Damian, “Do Dick or Wally need—?”

“No, they have tailors with them,” Damian replied, “Uncle Bruce has made sure. He also thanks you for your work and desires to pay you.”

“No, family’s free,” Marinette waved that away, “the Waynes are family so they don’t need to pay for some small things.”

The women busied themselves, finishing getting ready as Damian slipped back out.

He headed back to Richard’s room, darting gracefully around the somewhat harried servants following Alfred’s every order.

He made it just as Richard and the groom’s party exited the room, “There you are, Dami! Jon was looking for you. I think he’s already out back.”

Damian nodded and walked with the party to where everything was set up and indeed found Jon waiting, fairly buzzing with excitement.

The two friends greeted each other and it was time to take their seats as Richard moved into place at the not-altar, under an arch of red, purple, and blue flowers specifically grown by Doctor Isley for the ceremony.

Wallace came out first, as the music began, being escorted by Barry.

The music died down as he stepped up to the officiant and Richard.

The ceremony was short, abbreviated for fear of interruptions, but no less heartfelt for it.

After kissing Richard, Wallace stepped aside, assuming the role of Best Man, and Koriand’r walked down the aisle as the music played.

This ceremony was just as brief, each hero alert for anything out of the ordinary as the couple said their vows and then kissed.

Nothing.

No rampaging supervillain, possessed friend, or invasion had happened.

They had done it.

One peaceful event.

There wasn’t a dry eye as cheers of joy and relief started while Richard walked his partners back down the aisle as the officiant announced the three of them as the new Grayson-West-Waynes.

Bruce was sobbing along with Barry; their sons were all but married.

The Titans were hooting and hollering for Koriand’r, taking the place of her family, clapping uproariously.

Even little Lian, on her Aunt Raven’s lap as her father had stood with Wallace, was clapping along.

Life was good.

Wished Away 7:

Happy Thanksgiving (Early, I Know, Shut up):

“Father, Mother, and Uncle Tucker wish to invite you to our Thanksgiving meal,” Damian said.

“Are you sure?” Bruce asked, “we’re a lot.”

Even without Damian, Bruce had many children and cooking for all of them was sometimes a tall order.

Damian smiled, “We are aware. You are not the only family we are inviting. Every child Father, Mother, and Uncle Tucker has taken in we have invited along with their remaining family if they have any. Even the non-Americans have been invited.”

“We’d be delighted to come,” Alfred said for his family, “should we bring anything?”

“You may,” Damian agreed, “however, the chefs and cooks of the Palace will be preparing the main meal. It will be mostly meatless. Seitan mostly, in observance with mine and Mother’s dietary needs and our beliefs. It will also be made in-line with kosher regulations.”

“Cookies,” Jason said, looking at Alfred, “we can make vegan cookies.”

“Very well, Master Jason,” Alfred nodded, already planning for such a large batch, or several batches.

Damian grinned.

Thanksgiving Day arrived and the portal opened.

They filed through and were greeted by Sam, the younger Sam on her hip, “Happy Thanksgiving.”

Sammy just waved shyly, gaining fond chuckles.

They all echoed the sentiment and were led through the palace to one of the ballrooms, “Not even the large dining room is big enough to hold our horde,” she said with humor.

“Oh?”

“Everyone invited came,” Sam explained before visibly remembering, “Oh, and any red wine you see? Not red wine; we have a vampire in attendance. He eats human food but not really.”

“Of course,” Bruce nodded; only Dick was of age to drink, of his children, but neither one really drank. Still, it was good to know.

“’m assuming the vamp’s friendly?” Jason voiced.

“Friendly as in doesn’t eat humans anymore, yeah,” Sam nodded, “but, well, Spike’s Spike. You’ll understand once you meet him. Don’t go after his humans and he’s nice enough.”

“Fair enough,” Stephanie nodded.

“Also in attendance are a Vampire Slayer, several witches and wizards, two magic superheroes…basically everyone you met at Damian’s birthday party’s here. I know Spike wasn’t there; he had to babysit the Hellmouth that day, so he’s really the only new face. Him and his daughter, Hope.”

“Vampires can have—”

“She’s adopted, from a separate dimension. Danny brought her to the Hellmouth group to hide her. She’s being raised by Buffy and Spike.”

“Oh.”

They finally made it to the ballroom; the doors were wide open; servants rushed forward to relieve the Waynes of the platters of cookies they carried before they entered the room.

Most of the room was divided down the middle by a cartoonishly long dining table, bench seating on either side of it. Settings were already in place.

In one corner was a padded and gated off area where Anakin and the baby that could only be Hope played. Well, played as only young babies could, which wasn’t much.

Dotted around the room were small clusters of regular chairs and beanbag chairs, some of which were already occupied, surrounding small tables with pitchers of water and juices and, yes, blood.

Spike the vampire was easy to pick out from the masses because he had a glass of what looked like red wine in hand. Nobody else did.

The Waynes spread out, first finding Damian to say hello, then mingling and visiting with the friends made at the birthday party.

Bruce made his way towards the vampire.

“’Lo,” Spike greeted lowly over his drink, Buffy at his side.

“Hello, Buffy,” Bruce said before smiling with a closed mouth, “and you must be Spike. Bruce Wayne.”

“Not an ape, mate,” Spike snorted, “won’t attack if you smile at me. Sit down, take a load off. Hear you’re Batman. The real deal one.”

“I am,” Bruce took a seat, reaching to fill a cup with orange juice, “where did you hear it from?”

“Dawn was excited; her little brother’s bio-dad is Batman,” Buffy explained, rolling her eyes fondly, “one of my friends, Xander, is a big comic book nerd.”

“Ah. I assume there won’t be any problems?”

“Not from us,” Spike agreed, nudging Buffy with a smirk, “my girl here’s a superhero too. Won’t be any trouble from our lot. Right, Slayer?”

“Yep. No problems from us. If Danny and Sam are good with you being…you know, you then we’re good,” Buffy nodded, “just as long as you don’t put Dawnie or Hope in a suit.”

“I don’t want them out there,” Bruce grumbled, “but if I didn’t help them, they’d all be dead by now.”

“We get it, honestly,” Buffy assured, “Dawn’s given us enough gray hair,” she grinned mischievously at Spike, “she’s even given Billy Idol here some.”

“Slayer, you know that pissant stole—”

Bruce laughed.

Everyone mingled and chatted for a few hours before the meal began; servant after servant carried food and drinks to the main table as everyone found seats on the benches.

Spike and Danny placed the babies into highchairs.

By the time everything and everyone was ready, the table was fairly groaning with the meal.

Danny gained everyone’s attention, standing and grinning, “Welcome to Thanksgiving Dinner at the Palace. Thank you all for coming, even our non-Americans for putting up with our silly traditions.”

The non-Americans laughed fondly, nodding; even Alfred cracked a smile.

“For those who’re probably wondering,” he continued, “our essential living staff celebrated at lunch and most will have the day off tomorrow. Everyone else had the day off today. Now, normally we’d go around and say what we’re thankful for but we’d be here forever if we did that tonight. So, while we eat let’s just think about what we’re thankful for and enjoy the food and the company. Oh, and just so you know, everything’s kosher and most of the ‘meat’ is actually Seitan. Real meat is on the green platters. But before we begin, let’s give a round of thanks to the kitchen staff for making the food!”

Everyone applauded.

“Now, tuck in!”

They all did so with gusto; the meal was magnificent and it was clear the Palace staff had put their all into it.

Most of the Seitan was shaped into meat product appearances, looking indistinguishable from the real turkeys and hams. And it tasted almost like the real things too.

The meal lasted well into the night and everyone went home stuffed and with leftovers.

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 21: Apologies (Father’s Day)

AO3

Prev

Marinette purses her lips as she looks at the neatly wrapped package in her hand. She knew she should still give it to her dad, shouldn’t let her hurt over the Gala stop her from celebrating Father’s Day with him for the first time. She’d already gotten confirmation from her Maman that her present for her Papa had arrived. So that was taken care of. A small part of her, the petty part, wanted to use Kaalki and go back to Paris for Father’s Day. But she also didn’t want to hurt her dad, no matter how much he’d hurt her. She had to be better than that, she is Ladybug after all. Sighing, she drops the present onto her bed. Grabbing the rest of what she needed for a movie night at one of Jason’s safe houses, she rushes out of her room. She knew that her dad’s conversation with Superman in the Batcave wouldn’t last too long, and then he’d be looking for her and Damian to lecture the hell out of them. Unfortunately for him, neither of them planned to be around to listen to it. 

“Got everything Pixie Pop?” Jason asks as she rushes down the last of the steps, barely stopping herself from falling. She quickly balances herself and shoots her brother a small grin. 

“Yup. Let’s go before I can get grounded.” She says, rushing past him and out the door, grinning as she hears his loud cackles behind her. It will get better. She’d talk to her dad eventually, and shove the bad feelings away. But she was going to let herself mope for another day. After all, letting herself feel negative emotions was part of the reason her parents agreed to let her stay in Gotham for the summer. 

---

“What do you mean there’s an entire movie about you and Cat boy?” Jason asks, shoving another cookie in his mouth. Marinette shrugs. 

“I mean we have a movie. It’s not my favorite, it’s kind of ridiculous. None of it is accurate. Except, Adrien did voice Chat Noir for the movie...still not sure why he thought that was a good idea.” She says, thinking back to the original premiere of the movie and all of the drama that came with it. 

“Well shit. He’s not the brightest kid, is he?” Jason asks with a snort. Marinette opens her mouth to argue, then remembers some of Adrien’s….less brilliant moments. Okay, so maybe he’s not perfect.

“Ya know, we were once cast as Ladybug and Chat Noir in a music video.” She says, snorting at the look on Jason’s face. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding. Really? Kid, please tell me you didn’t go through with it.” He says, looking mildly distressed. Marinette just rolls her eyes. 

“No, we didn’t. The concept for the video changed and so no more hero costumes. I was terrified though. Kept losing the mask on purpose ‘cause I was convinced the mask would be what gave it away.” She admits with a small laugh. 

“Ya know, that’s almost as bad as the time that someone at WE thought it’d be a good idea to enter B in a Batman look alike contest. Sent in his photo and everything.” Jason says with a snort. Marinette’s jaw drops.

“Wait, really?” She asks. He nods. 

“Yup. But that’s not the best part.” He says. Her eyebrows furrowed together. What could possibly be better- Oh. No, oh my-

“He lost, didn’t he!” She cheers, laughing at Jason’s huge smile. 

“Of course he did! You didn’t really think Brucie Wayne could ever be THE Batman, did you?” He asks with a smirk. 

“Who entered him?” Marinette asks, kind of assuming that Jason did it with Tim’s computer. 

“No one could ever prove anything, but Lucius Fox couldn’t stop smiling for weeks after it happened.” Jason says. 

“No way, Lucius Fox? Oh my god!” She starts laughing again, the negative feelings from earlier almost completely gone. Disappeared. Times like these, she was beyond relieved that she wasn’t an only child anymore. She doesn’t know how she’d ever function again without her brothers and Cass. 

---

Bruce takes a deep breath before knocking on Marinette’s door. He’d spent some time talking to Clark in an attempt to calm down. He still couldn’t believe his two youngest children had gone to the Watchtower without permission...well, he could believe that Damian went. But not Marinette. And then there was her attitude towards him at the Tower. Her posture was very Damian, but her words and tone were very much Jason. He couldn’t decide if he was glad that they were bonding, or frustrated with the way his sons were corrupting his daughter. Not hearing an answer on the other side of the door, he knocks again. 

“If?” He says. Alfred nods. 

“Marinette, I know you’re angry, but shutting yourself away in your room is not the answer. I’ll give you ten more minutes, but then we need to talk about your behavior today.” He says, nodding to himself. That sounded good. That was right, right?

“I’m certain that wouldn’t work on Miss Marinette even if she was in her room, Master Bruce.” Alfred says, giving him an unimpressed look. Bruce’s eye twitches. 

“Indeed, sir. It seems that Miss Marinette will not be sleeping at the manor tonight.” He says, turning to walk away. 

“And I’m assuming you know where she is?” Bruce says, doubting that Alfred will actually give up her location. He’d definitely been picking the kids’ side the last two weeks or so. It was different, and he wasn’t fond of the change. 

“Of course I do, sir.” Alfred says, raising an eyebrow in a silent challenge. 

“Will you tell me where she is?” He asks, trying hard not to huff when Alfred shakes his head. 

“Of course not, sir.” He says before walking away. Right. So she wasn’t sleeping at the manor, but she was safe. If she wasn’t, Alfred would have told him where she was. He mentally runs through a list of possible places she could be. Dick’s apartment, one of Jason’s safe houses, the Siren’s apartment, Paris- He pales as he realizes that she could definitely be in Paris. Was she really so upset that she would go back to Paris? Would she ever come back if she left? He lets out an uneven breath. He messed up. He messed up and now she was going to go back to Paris and she’d never talk to him again. Unless- maybe she didn’t. Swallowing the guilt that appears at the thought, he pushes her door open. If she had left for Paris, she would’ve taken everything with her. The sight of her clothes and sewing supplies still scattered around the room makes him breathe a sigh of relief. She hadn’t left Not yet. He’s about to walk out when an envelope on her bed catches his eye. Frowning, he walks over and picks it up, ‘Dad’ written on it in neat cursive. Now standing by her bed, he realizes there’s also a neatly wrapped package (Batman wrapping paper) on it. He smiles, then glances back at the envelope. He opens it, smiling at the art on the cardstock. It was clearly Marinette’s art, but he was confused why it was addressed to him. 

‘Dad, I just wanted to let you know that I’m so happy you’re my Dad, and I’m so glad that I got to meet you. Finding out that I was adopted was a little scary, but you’ve made sure I’ve been okay through it all. Happy Father’s Day! Love, Marinette’

Bruce blinks. She was scared. If he had to guess, she was most likely scared that the family wouldn’t accept her. They’d been getting along so well, until the Gala mistake. Until he’d decided for her. Assumed she wouldn’t want to go to the Gala. And now she didn’t even want to stay at the manor tonight, and she was angry enough earlier to throw a chair at him. He pushes a hand through his hair, cursing lowly under his breath. He had to fix this. 

---

A sharp pounding at the door makes Jason leap off the couch. He holds up a finger and gestures for Marinette to hide. No one should be here. No one else knows which of his safe houses he was at today. Grabbing a gun, he walks over, glancing through the peephole. He scoffs. 

“Get the fuck outta here Bruce.” He calls through the door, watching Marinette as she immediately tenses as if she’s gonna run. He shakes his head at her. She didn’t have to run, he sure as hell wouldn’t open the door if she didn’t want him to. 

“Jason, open the door. I need to talk to Marinette.” Bruce calls, Jason snorts. 

“Yeah, not gonna happen B.” He says. 

“I would like to apologize to her.” Bruce says. Jason blinks. That’s new. Did the old man finally figure out that fuck ups warrant apologies? He glances over at Marinette, raising an eyebrow. It was her call. The unsure look on her face almost makes him decide for her. Almost. The kid’d had enough of people deciding shit for her. 

“Let him in.” She says. He opens the door, glaring at the man. 

“Is it okay if he comes in?” She whispers, and Jason nods.

“Up to you kiddo.” He whispers back. She stands taller, pushing her shoulders back before nodding. 

“She’s the one who let you in. Don’t fuck this up.” He warns before stepping aside and letting Bruce walk in.

“Marinette.” He says, nodding at her. Jason groans. Yeah, B was totally gonna fuck this up. 

“Father.” She says, shifting so that her arms are crossed, a neutral expression on her face. God, he really hopes her mimicking Demon Spawn is just a phase. 

“I would like to preface this conversation by letting you know I went into your room.” Bruce says. Marinette just raises an eyebrow. Yeah, Jason wasn’t seeing the connection either. “I apologize for invading your privacy like that, Damian has definitely reminded me several times that your personal rooms are not to be messed with. However, when Alfred let me know you weren’t sleeping at the manor tonight, I was worried that perhaps you had gone back to Paris.” 

“I wouldn’t have gone back without telling you. Well, other than akuma attacks. Do you really think I’d do something like that?” She asks, frowning. 

“I know that I’ve done things I’m not proud of when hurt. Things that I came to regret. And I saw earlier today how hurt you actually are. I didn’t realize-” He pauses. “I also read the card that was on your bed.”

“What! No, that was- that was for Father’s Day.” She says with a sigh. 

“I didn’t open the gift. I originally thought the envelope would have a note from you on where you had gone. Or that you never wanted to see me again. I thought the chances were pretty even.” He says and Jason snorts. 

“Oh, okay. Wait, why would you ever think that? Yes, I was hurt. I still am hurt, if I’m being honest. But I don’t want to cut you out of my life.” She says, shaking her head. 

“Nor do I want you out of ours.” Bruce says. Marinette blinks. “I realize now what it must have looked like, to you. Not informing you about the Gala, taking the rest of the family. It was, admittedly, not my best moment. I made a decision for you when I should’ve asked you what you wanted. You could have even come with us as MDC, but I took that option away from you. I am very sorry, Marinette. I am glad that you’re my daughter, sweetheart.” He says and Jason blinks. Well shit. The old man did have feelings. Too bad no one would ever believe him if he tried to say something about it. He watches as the tension in Marinette’s body drops almost instantly before she runs over and launches herself at Bruce. She wraps her arms around him and Jason can see the way her body shakes. Bruce just stands there, staring down at the top of her head in shock. 

“You wrap your arms around her.” Jason snarks. Bruce blinks before listening, returning Marinette’s hug. Well, they were still dysfunctional as hell, but at least now he’d be able to take Pixie Pop to the manor without feeling like an asshole brother. 

---

Marinette bounces nervously in her seat as she watches her brothers hand her dad presents. She’s shocked when Jason hands over a small gift, knowing that the two’s relationship wasn’t….great. She leans forward in anticipation, watching and waiting to see what he’d picked out. 

“Thank you, Jason. Clark will never let me live this down.” Her dad says, the fondness in his tone not matching the frown on his face. He turns the box around and the room erupts in laughter. Somehow, Jason had found a company that made customizable bobbleheads. The body was probably just a stock body, dressed in civilian clothes with a superman suit peaking through the shirt. And the head, the head was hilarious. It was very obviously crafted to look like their dad, specifically with his ‘Brucie Wayne’ smile. It was awful and amazing at the same time. 

“I think Jaybird wins best gift.” Dick says with a grin. 

“Tt. Unlikely. The new katana that Cass and I gave him is obviously superior.” Damian says, crossing his arms. 

“I don’t know Damian, I still haven’t given him my present.” She points out, grinning at the slight frown on Damian’s face. 

“While I doubt your present could be better than mine, there is no doubt it will be better received than Todd’s.” Damian says. Marinette snorts at the look on Jason’s face. 

“Listen Demon Spawn, there’s this thing called humor. That’s what my gift had. I know you wouldn’t know anything about humor, so let me explain it to you.” He starts, and Marinette jumps in to cut him off before they can start arguing. It was Father’s Day, the least they could do is avoid fighting with each other for a couple more hours. 

“And this one’s from me.” She says, passing him the present wrapped in Batman wrapping paper. She grins as Tim and Dick both laugh, not having seen it before now. 

“I think Mari might win just ‘cause of the paper.” Tim admits, taking a large drink of his iced coffee that Marinette had picked up for him. She’d had to fight an akuma right before they started presents, so she’d stopped and got Tim coffee from the shop that he’d tried when they’d all been in Paris. She watches in anticipation as her dad carefully unwraps the box, opening it and pulling out the black suit jacket. He smiles at her. 

“Did you make this? It’s amazing.” He says, and her brothers nod in agreement (though Damian does so reluctantly). 

“Look at the inside of it.” She says, gesturing for him to unfold it. His eyebrow twitches, but he does as she says. She watches his face for the moment he spots it, and grins when his face drops into a wide smile. On the inside of the left side of the jacket, she’d added a breast pocket. It wasn’t really for anything though. Instead, it was so that she could embroider all of his children’s names in a way so that it would rest above his heart. The jacket also had tiny bat logos embroidered at the cuffs of the jacket. The thread was shiny and very dark so that it would barely show up against the black of the jacket. It had to be lit just right to see it, but as he tilted the jacket again, she knew he saw it. It had taken longer than suit jackets normally do for her, but it was because she knew that it had to be perfect. It was, after all, the first piece of clothing she’d made for her dad. 

“It’s perfect, Marinette.” He says softly, running a hand over the names. She lets out a sigh of relief before smiling at him. Things were still a little rough, but they were so much better than they’d been the night of the Gala. She was glad that she had stayed, that she hadn’t ran like she had so badly wanted to.

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