#do you like their little golden freddy mind palace

[metamatronic]

In your fnaf au, does Henry ever get a punishment at all? Like I know it's tragedy and angst city over here but Henry has to be punished somehow right?

No worries, Cass and David put him in UCN hell.

[darknessisafriend]

Adopting a pet with Multi-Joaquin!characters Headcanons

Hello everyone !!!

So, I’m trying a new thing, making HC with most of Joaquin characters because I realized a lot of you liked several of his characters and might enjoy same HC for different characters (Here we have Commodus, Arthur/Joker, Joe, Charlie, Max California, Bruno, Abbe, Doc Sportello and Freddie Quell!) 

Tell me if you liked it and would like more! 

You can request ! and also ask for some characters to be added like Bobby, Willy, Leonard, Abe Lucas, Theodore, etc ENJOY! 

Commodus

-        You had found an abandoned dog as you went for a walk in the city. Alone, in a corner of a dirty alley, undernourished. It looked at the crowd of people with sad eyes, hoping someone would notice them.

-        You had approached the poor animal, who instantly came to you, wagging its tail in excitement, happily accepting your caress on its head. You ordered to one of your servants to go get a piece of meat at a nearby butcher to feed the dog, it was a male, with a golden fur, which was quite tarnished by the dirt.

-        You couldn’t resist, this dog was way too affectionate for you to leave it alone in the streets; you had to bring it home. It happily followed you to the palace thankful for the food you had fed him. You instantly went to Commodus to tell him, you wondered how he would react. He was sitting at his study, reading papers of the Senate.

-        His eyes lit up as he saw you arrive, then he noticed the golden animal walking by your side.

-        “Y/N what is that?” he asked you, although he had an idea of what was your intent. But he didn’t want it, it was dirty and probably carrying diseases.

-        “That is our new companion. I couldn’t leave him alone, he’s really sweet.” You explained smiling as you looked at the animal, who happily wagged its tail in return. Commodus wasn’t so surprised after all, he knew you were a woman of compassion and love; the only one who loved him.

-        He wasn’t fond of the dog at all, but the Emperor would do anything to keep you happy and pleased. He sighed; he didn’t have the choice but accept “Keep it then. But don’t expect me to take care of it.” He said nonchalantly, but his heart fluttered as a big happy smile formed on your lips, and you took his face between your hands to kiss him.

-        But Commodus wasn’t as insensitive to the animal as he expressed; in fact, he was rather intrigued, he had a horse and truly cared about him, he wondered if it could be the same with the dog “The dog of the Emperor cannot stay filthy like this, have him washed and properly fed” He told you looking back at his papers, you hide a smile, you knew Commodus was going to care for him as much as you.

-        As you had dinner, the dog would go sit at Commodus’s feet, lifting his ears each time your lover would take a piece of food, you couldn’t help but laugh, and Commodus found it funny too, grinning as he slowly put the food in his mouth on purpose. Then, he wouldn’t be able to resist and give a piece of meat to the dog.

-        As Commodus got attached to him, your dog would often accompany him to the Senate, and lie down at his feet, and when the Emperor would get angry at someone in particular, your dog would even bark at the Senator, and in return Commodus would appease him, by caressing his head “Good dog.” He would compliment, smirking defiantly at the Senator.

-        Commodus would even train him; in no time, your dog became very obedient. Commodus had even spent time to train him to be your guard dog and protect you when Commodus wasn’t by your side.

-        In the end, Commodus truly enjoyed his presence, it was soothing him when you couldn’t.  And Commodus often found himself petting him. You would even find your lover in the gardens playing with your dog, laughing, of course you would join them, glad that your dog brought even more light in the Emperor’s dark mind.

Arthur/Joker

-        Both Arthur and Joker, would bring you a dog as gift. They knew how much you loved animals and dreamt of having one.

-        Arthur went to a shelter and had found this little old dog abandoned by his family, he wished he could have gotten you a young puppy in a shop but it was cheaper for him to get a dog at an animal shelter and Arthur knew he was making a good action, to make another being happy.

-        Arthur felt his heart melt as he showed you the little animal in his arms, you squealed in happiness, caressing the doggy’s head while it gave you excited licks on your cheek.  But before you could take the dog in your arms you made sure to thank Artie, giving him a big kiss, burying your fingers in his long locks. He moaned in surprised, he was so happy you liked his gift, he had been so nervous about it.  

-        Arthur constantly watches over the little dog, he’s fascinated. He loves how the animal constantly ask for his attention while you’re away from home. This beautiful being noticed him and enjoys his care.

-        However, Arthur often worries about the affection you give to your dog, you constantly pet him, talk to him and make sure he’s okay. Arthur worried that all your attention might travel to the dog and that you forget about him.

-        But he doesn’t say anything because he sees your smile and how happy the animal makes you feel.

-        Of course, you notice it. You knew how Arthur behaved when he was upset, how he threw you sad looks as you kissed and petted your dog. So, you took your dog in your arms and sat on Arthur’s lap, setting the dog between the two of you; you encircled your arms around Arthur’s neck, gently caressing his dark locks, and leaning forward to tenderly kiss his lips “I love you Artie.” You assured him between kisses, he exhaled in relief, caressing your back.

-        To this, your dog happily wagged its tail, making the both of you laugh “He needs love too, I think the both of us have enough love to share it with another being.”

-        Of course, the dog would sleep in your bed, Arthur and you too to be honest, couldn’t resist to the pleading of the dog at the feet of the bed. So, Arthur, would get up and pick up the animal in his arms, he knew that with age the dog couldn’t climb on the bed by itself. Your dog would then happily curve into a ball between the two of you.

-        Arthur loves walking your dog with you, holding your hand; he felt so much like a thing any other normal couple did.

-        As for Joker, he went through all the pet shops of Gotham to find the perfect puppy for you. He wants the cutest for his girlfriend.

-        He would enter your flat, you would be reading on the sofa, he wears a proud smile. The puppy is in a box behind the door. Your face lit up when you saw him, you quickly got up and encircling your arms around his neck, he passionately captures your lips, he’s excited to see your reaction, his heart his racing like the ghost fear of Arthur rushing back in him.

-        “Close your eyes, baby.” He’d purr against your lips. You didn’t expect a surprise but what could you say, Joker was unpredictable. You closed your eyes eagerly. Joker briefly detailed your beautiful face, smiling tenderly. Then, he hurried to get the puppy out of the box.

-        “Open your arms, careful it’s heavy and fragile.” He’d precise, holding the small animal in his arms. You briefly frowned when you felt what was in your arms and you quickly realized it was moving, you instantly opened your eyes and you felt tears come into your eyes as you looked at the cute puppy who rested its front paws on your chest so that it could lick your face.

-        Joker is not very interested in having a pet, but he enjoys your happiness with a puppy. He had to admit the little creature was touching, maybe it was how innocent and pure it was in this cruel and dark world.

-        He still leaves you the task to take the puppy on a walk. He has no time for this kind of activities, what would people say?

-        But one thing he likes to do is bath the puppy. Joker enjoys taking care of those under his protection and that included your little animal. He’d take off his waistcoat, and roll up his sleeves, he looked particularly sexy like that. You’d lean against the doorframe to watch them.

-        You love how he would constantly talk to your puppy in high-pitched voice, exciting your dog even more. You would laugh openly when the animal would shake himself and splash water on Joker and in return your lover would also splash him.

-        Joker would also get jealous of your dog very easily. He’d get even more physical with you “I’d like to be petted too…” he’d purr into your ear, nibbling your ear lobe.

-        It was quite funny, how your puppy would keep seeking Joker attention, running around him, trying to chew his shoes; when you’d be watching TV, if you weren’t the first by Joker’s side, the puppy would take your place, laying down on Joker lap, he would sigh in annoyance but somehow couldn’t get mad at the animal “No, that’s Y/N place…”and you found it so cute that you would just snuggle against the clown , kissing his cheek and caressing your puppy’s head.

-        He would groan when the puppy would jump on your bed, “aww little baby come here!!” you would say softened by the little fur ball, but he wouldn’t say anything else because you wouldn’t mind the puppy that night; Joker might end up sulking because the dog separates you from him but you would always find a way to snuggle against him during the night and he’d forget about his frustration.

Bruno Weiss

-        You were coming back from dinner out with Bruno, he was your dearest friend, but you had stronger feelings for him, however you ignored if he would reciprocate them the way you would. The both of you were tipsy on your way back, you lived in a building a few blocks away from him and as usual he would insist on escorting safely home.

-        The both of you were giggling, holding onto each other, and by the corner of a dark alley you spotted a box, whining sounds coming out of it “Are you hearing this?” you asked Bruno who stopped and listened closely, then he approached the box. “Oh, that’s puppy’s, abandoned. For free.” He described

-        To this you furrowed your brows in pity and came to see the animals, your state of drunkenness didn’t help but you found them beyond beauty, you had to save at least one “Bruno we can’t leave them here!” you exclaimed, struggling to keep your balance as you wanted to take them in your arms.

-        “No, what are you going to do with them? You-you’re not in the state for puppy’s…” he mumbled, putting his arm behind your back to guide away and bring you to your apartment, you weakly protested, fatigue and alcohol getting the best of you. The last thing you remembered was you tumbling in your bed…

-        In the morning, you were awakened by wet licks on your face, a soft fur tickling your nose. You opened your eyes, blinking at the bright light and groaning at the headache you had. But you realized what was before you, a little grey puppy. It took you a few seconds to remember the past night but how did the puppy end here? Bruno didn’t want to…

-        You got up and found him asleep on your sofa still fully clothes and with another puppy curved into a ball between his arms; you bit your lower lip at this cute scene. The third one was running around in your living room.

-        In fact, right after putting you in your home, Bruno couldn’t bring himself to let the puppy’s alone and went back to pick them up and found himself at your flat once again. He had seen the look on your face, he figured out you would like this.

-        And Bruno is a compassionate man, he doesn’t especially show it but deep down he is and tries to help as much as he can. Even if his own personal interest often influences his decisions. And here it was no exception to the rule, he felt pity for the puppy but he knew it might also help him to seduce you; he had fell in love with you the moment he had met you, but could never bring himself to tell you; you were a fine woman and he was…a scoundrel, nothing to New York’s society.

-        You decided to gently wake him up, your hand gently tracing his features. And he would wake up rapidly, not used to be touched with affection, he would realize what he had done the past night, and feel quite embarrassed, what was he going to do with those three puppies?

-        Then, he saw the happy look on your face as you kissed the puppy that had woke you up. He would instantly relax, and look at you tenderly, glad he didn’t make a mistake.

-        “You know what? I think I might keep this one.” He would say about the puppy on his lap, that would surely make you fall for him “For the other one, I think Rosie was looking to get a pet…”

-        And he was right, you already felt deep affection for him before but now you were completely in love with him, Bruno adopting a dog and if you two lived together at some point, you’d have two pets! You instantly leaned forward cupping his face, as you placed your lips on his “Thank you Bruno, it makes me so happy.”  

-        After this gift from Bruno, you finally started dating him and now you lived together. Bruno wouldn’t pay too much attention to his dog, he had many other things to do, he was a busy man. But the puppy would do anything to get Bruno’s attention including chewing his shoes but that truly angered your boyfriend, he had to always to be dressed perfectly, now he had to buy new shoes again!

-        But as soon as he raises his voice on the puppy, he stops, the look it is giving him, he feels bad now and sighs, crouching down at the level of the animal “Listen buddy, you can’t do that. Don’t eat my shoes. If you behave well, I will…hum…pet you?” he offered, unsure at how he was trying to talk to an animal. But somehow the puppy seemed to understand.

-        You had understood Bruno wasn’t really an animal person, that he just did all of this for you. But since his little talk with the puppy, it really behave well, and Bruno had no choice but reward him, and as days passed he got used to it, talking more to his dog, often petting him, sometimes without realizing it; for example, in the morning as he drank his coffee and read the journal, his hand would absently caress the fur of the little being.

-        You would smile softened by how your boyfriend grew closer to the puppy. And when Bruno knows that you have noticed, he had to admit he didn’t expect too “I guess that little bastard isn’t so bad after all.” A small smile appearing on his lips.

-        Even if Bruno enjoys his company now, there are rules, and it’s out of question for his dog and yours to sleep in the bedroom with you. Bruno wants to be alone with you, his own privileged time, where you have eyes for nothing else but him.

Charlie

-        It was during a mission at some rich man’s house. At the entrance was cat, a mom with her kittens, you crouched down and Eli too, the kittens letting themselves get petted. “Would you like one? My wife doesn’t want to keep all of them.” Had offered the man.

-        “No, we’re not interested.” Objected Charlie before you could say anything else “C’mon Y/N let’s go.” He added this time more gently, your boyfriend could be a real pain in the ass sometimes. You gave a last look to the kittens, you wanted to have one so bad…

-        You would have a few days of riding until you reached home; so that night you camped by the forest; the air was a bit chilly. You and the brothers were gathered around the fire, Charlie kept looking at you, usually you would always snuggle against him “Are you mad at me about the cats?” he finally asked in disbelief, he hated waiting without any clues of what was going on.

-        “No, I’m just okay, ain’t that cold.”  you answered looking at the flames of the campfire. Charlie grumbled in return, he, on the other side, was freezing and wanted your warmth. But that’s when he heard it, a meowing, he lifted his head, then it happened again, it was coming from you. And when he met your eyes, he noticed how wide they were, your lips pinched in anticipation.

-        “Y/N…” he started his tone coming out as a warning, Charlie was a smart man and he had understood your secret, but he hated that you hid it from him, you always shared everything with him just like he did with you.

-        Your heart was racing, you hoped he wouldn’t get mad, he never did with you but maybe this…You opened your coat, and the little head of a kitten popped out, it was snuggled against you, keeping you warm but now it was asking for food.

-        Charlie would be very annoyed “Now that you have it, what are you going to do with it huh? It can’t run next to the horses, and I doubt a cat can ride a horse.” He bickered, that’s what really bothered him, the animal was going to be a burden for them.

-        But you would tell him otherwise, you didn’t plan on carrying the cat everywhere you went, you would kept it at the home you shared with Charlie, which was next to their mother’s; and when you wouldn’t be home, she could be watching over it “You know Charlie I think mama would enjoy some company.” Supported you Eli; Charlie groaned in return, and went to sleep, sulking. You slept on your own side, you shook your head, he could be so childish sometimes.

-        However, you knew it wouldn’t last long, he couldn’t stay mad at you, and the next morning, he would have forgiven you already.

-        And you were right, the next morning, he was gently waking you up, his thumb caressing your face. He had made breakfast and hoped you had forgiven him. In fact, you were never mad at him for a start, you were the one hiding the kitten from him and he was the one who decided to sleep separately from you.

-        He looked at the little animal snuggled against you “What’s its name?” he asked, and you were surprised by his question, because you didn’t even think about getting a name for the kitty, with the tip of his index he caressed the animals head who in return leaned into his touch; “it’s a female.” You replied, indirectly offering him to name the kitty, he seemed to think for a bit “What about Missy?” he offered looking at you for approval, scratching his beard, unsure; you smiled, it was perfect, you straightened up and captured his lips, his hand came up to cup your cheek, he had missed you last night.

-        He would even give a bit of his breakfast to the kitty “That doesn’t mean I like it.” He still added going back to his grumpy self.

-        As you rode your horse, the cat would stay in your coat, only her head out, looking curiously at the horse. Charlie would often look at her, amused by this little being in your arms.

-        When Missy noticed how close you were to Charlie, constantly kissing him, sleeping in his arms at night, she would choose him as a second resting place, she understood how your man behaved and took things slowly, until she finally managed to curve into a ball, sleeping between his crossed legged. Without noticing, Charlie’s hand would wander to caress the little animal, and you realized he wouldn’t dare to move and wake up the kitten.

-        “Don’t say it.” He would grumble, he doesn’t want to appear to have some sort weakness; you hid your smile, he was adorable.

-        Once home, Charlie becomes even more affective with the cat, and at night if she was still outside, he would look for her, worried something might have happened to your cat.

-        He enjoyed playing with her, picking up a long blade of grass, laughing as the animal jumped on it, getting all excited and crazy.

-        In the end, even if he would never say it out loud, he enjoyed her presence, it was soothing; and actually made him think about having a child with you.

Joe

-        You had decided to get a dog to Joe. You were worried for him when he had to stay at home alone. He was often subject to anxiety, dissociation or even self-harm, even if since he was with you, it happened a lot less. You had made some research and had found out about the beneficial effect of an animal for people suffering from PTSD. You had made your decision and found an association providing assistance dogs especially for people suffering from PTSD.

-        Of course, for this you had to talk to Joe about it, there was a whole process to go through before getting this kind of dog. And as soon as Joe came home, you discussed about it.

-        Joe was actually quite open to the idea of getting an animal, he was a bit uncomfortable at the idea of the whole application process, so you went to get your laptop, sitting next to him and showing all the information’s you had gathered about it and how the beneficiaries had their life improved. And it reassured him, it seemed these types of dogs could understand how he felt and help him when you weren’t there to soothe him.

-        When Joe finally met the service dog, it was like the connection instantly established between the two of them, Joe’s eyes lit up, he was looking at the animal with interest and the dog came towards him and your boyfriend caressed its head, a small smile forming on his lips.

-        Joe’s mental health improved faster since the dog had entered your couple, it reassured you to have someone caring for your boyfriend and Joe enjoyed the company while you were away, his dog would keep him calm, grounded; Joe wouldn’t withdraw into himself so much anymore.

-        Joe would have something to make him maintain his life while you’re not there, he had to feed the dog and Joe would then eat at the same time, often giving a bit of the food he had prepared to his companion.

-        He had to go out, to walk the dog or for bathroom breaks, it was good for Joe and he found himself a lot more in the present time.

-        And when Joe, would dissociate, his mind wandering in dark places. You had seen it a few times, his dog named Porter would feel it a few seconds before it happened and would give your boyfriend a headbutt or nudge his arm with his muzzle making Joe snap back to reality. Enabling you to come by his side and soothe his anxiety.

-        And when you were home, Joe would offer you to join him for a walk outside with Porter. Your boyfriend would be a lot more relaxed outside even in crowed places, with you and his dog he felt safe and in peace. He’d feel proud to go out with you like any other couple and enjoy it, entwinning his fingers with yours and holding Porter’s leash in the other hand.

-        You never thought Joe would become crazy in love with his dog. He would go in front of the house to play fetching with him, cuddle with him on the sofa and even cook food especially for his dog. You were happy to see Joe so present, active and creative.

-        “You should have seen what he did yesterday, he’s a really clever boy.” Said Joe with soft smile, throwing a glance at his dog; that was something he said regularly, you chuckled at how proud he seemed of his companion.

-        His dog often slept into the bedroom with the both of you but thankfully always stayed on the floor at the feet of the bed, on his own cushion. You could say the three of you formed a nice little family now.

-        Of course, Joe didn’t forget about you, you were still his number one love. He had seen how  a little jealous you seemed sometimes “Sometimes I wonder who you love more…” you tease him playfully, and in return he would instantly capture your lips, making you feel how much he loved you, how much he needed you “You’re my everything Y/N.” he would say and that would be the only thing you needed to hear; after all, there were things that only you could give to Joe.

Max California

-        That day you were hanging around with Max arm in arm, it was a really sunny day, and Max looked gorgeous as usual, his wayfarer sunglasses on, his skin tight t-shirt and pants, people even turning around to look at him and maybe to look at you too, you weren’t as confident about your body as Max was.

-        Max brought his face closer to yours, planting a suave kiss on your jaw “damn you’re so exciting today babe…” he purred close your ear, you bit your lower lip, ‘horny’ was probably Max second name “You should see yourself, way hotter…” you replied on a flirty tone, he chuckled “hmmmm I doubt that, you’re the only one turning me on so quickly…” gosh he could be the end of you when he was like this.

-        On your way, your flirting was distracted by a pet shop specialized in exotic pets, you both stopped to look at the store front “Dope!” exclaimed Max amazed by all the different kinds of pets in there. You decided to go inside, there was so many animals, but a specific specie caught Max eyes, and yours.

-        “Look at those rats! There cool…” he started, his eyes never leaving the little creatures who looked at him with interest. “What do you think of adopting them?” you suggested already knowing how he would respond.

-        He would look at you with pure joy and excitement “Are you kidding?” then he would realize you were serious and laugh “Oh yes! Thank you, baby.” He would beam peppering your lips with kisses.

-        Max couldn’t choose only two rats, there were all so beautiful, with different colors, ears, some even had red eyes, they all looked so cool! So, you ended up adopting six of them for Max greatest pleasure, you wouldn’t mind, those small animals weren’t cumbersome. Max chose a big cage, and tons of accessories, he wanted them all cozy.  

-        Max would spoil them in various treats and often took them out so they could run around in the apartment. You had to admit they were very interesting animals and clever.

-        As you watched Max play with his guitar for you, the rats snuggle against you in your shirt, they also wanted too with your boyfriend, but his shirts were way too tight for them.

-        So , you decided to buy him a black cardigan that perfectly matched his style, he wore it all the time, not only because the rats could snuggle against him now but also because you had offered it to him; this way it was like you were always with him.

-        He would always bring one of them to work, it made his day seem less long and boring. The little rat would wander at his feet, nap on the books under the counter, climb along his leg to finally settle himself on his shoulder.

-        That really fitted Max style, and together you would sometimes spend the whole afternoon playing with them and teaching them little tricks and often you would end up with Max on top of you giggling as he trailed kisses down your neck.  

Abbe

-        You found the mother cat in the barn of the domain of the Asylum, she had just given birth to four kittens but she was exhausted, you could see by the way she breathed and she was lying down, she might not make it through the next days you thought. You had to do something, maybe there was a way to strengthen her.

-        You instantly went to get the Abbe to tell him and show him, you knew he was a man full of compassion and since you were having a secret affair with him you also knew he would do everything he could to save the cat and her kittens.

-        “She is very weak. All we can do is bring her food and pray that she gets better.” Declared the Abbe caressing her head, as you met his eyes, you understood he had little hope, he was used to sickness and death and easily recognized when someone was reaching the end of their life.

-        And he was right, despite your constant care and his visits, the mother died a few days afterwards. He felt your sadness as you announced him that she had died, so he buried her in a quiet part of the garden, this brave animal deserved respect for giving life.

-        He would offer to keep the kittens, “With your help I think we might have a chance to save them.” He would tell you with an optimistic smile, you were relieved, often in this type of situation, owners would end the life of the kittens, but not your Abbe; you wrapped your arms around his neck, the both of you were safe in the barn, and you gently placed your lips upon his, he leaned into your touch; to him it was natural, no need to thank him but to you it was important, even if you knew of his goodness.

-        “We can put them in my office, close the fire of the chimney. They need to be warm.” He would say, it had happened to him a few times to have to care for an orphan baby until nuns would take them, so he knew a few things about taking care of a newborn. You would go in your room to get some warm clothes to wrap them in.

-        The Abbe would make sure you get more free time to take care of the kittens. You needed to get milk from the goats of the domain and mix it with egg yolks, the mixture had to be nutritious for their first weeks of life. When the time to feed them came, your lover would often join you, it was quite challenging to feed the little babies, because they wouldn’t feel their mother’s warmth but after a few days they would accept; you would smile as you watched the Abbe holding the tiny being in his hand, securely against his chest, softy speaking to the animal to get it used to his voice.

-        When the hardest part was done and that the kittens started walking and wander around, you and the Abbe were relieved, you were sure they would survive now. But now you had to be careful they wouldn’t escape of the Abbe’s office, it was dangerous for them, maybe when they will be fully grown up, they will be able to interact with some patients.

-        The Abbe loved the cats, when you entered his office, you would always find one of them sitting on his lap, the others close to him, he would even tolerate them messing around on his desk, he made him laugh and it brough even more life in this place.

-        The only inconvenient was that his cassock was constantly covered in cat hair. Which in return was the occasion for you to touch him, to the others you were simply helping the Abbe to get rid of the cats hair but for the two of you (and secretly the Marquis who found it obvious) it was the occasion be close to each other in public. Your lover would watch you tenderly as your hand traveled on his body brushing off the cat’s hair on the fabric. And if you were lucky enough to have no one looking in your direction, the Abbe would quickly lean forward and give you a peck on the lips as a thank you before walking away as if nothing happened, but the smile on his lips would take time to go away.

-        The Abbe would then bring them to his most calm patients, as a reward for their good behavior and for some he realized how much of a good effect they had on his mentally patients, soothing them, bringing them back to reality.

-        The nights were you would join the Abbe in his room, all the cats would greet you, rubbing against your legs and as you slept in your lover’s arm, you would soon be joined by the kittens, curving into a ball at the end of the bed, on your belly or even on the Abbe’s face which made you laugh every time as he would wake up lacking air and cats hair in his mouth. But he wouldn’t be angry, not annoyed in the slightest, he would miss them if they weren’t there.  

 Doc Sportello

-        Doc didn’t adopt a cat, the cat had adopted him, a vagabond cat. It was as simple as that, one morning you had found the cat in the apartment in Doc’s arms while you didn’t remember having an animal in the apartment the night before.

-        It wasn’t the first time you saw this cat, he was often in the neighborhood, and sometimes at Doc’s window, looking at Doc getting high, and your boyfriend looking at him “What’s going on buddy?” would ask Doc, blowing out smoke, in the end they could stay a fairly good amount of time staring at each other. It really made you laugh; you were a light and occasional weed smoker compared to Doc and that made you realize he should really slow down his consumption.

-        As the cat spent more and more time home with the both of you, Doc started to carry on a more decent life, he had to take care of the animal and he really took the task at heart; after all the PI was an animal lover and made sure the cat had everything.

-        Of course, he bought catnip, cause Doc…you had laughed in disbelief as he brought it home “C’mon he’ll feel good and it’s not bad for his health.” Would assure you Doc, you had to admit it was really funny to watch the cat get all crazy and obsessed by the plant.

-        Doc was really cuddly with his cat, all the time petting him. And would even try to find him a female, he didn’t want his cat to stay alone all his life, although you were quite sure that with all the time the cat spent outside he was probably having fun with cat ladies.

-        The cat would sleep with you and Doc, you didn’t even talk about it, it was obvious for the both of you, he’d be way more comfortable on the bed and you enjoyed cuddling the cat as soon as he jumped onto the bed “Really?” exclaimed Doc with a hint of jealousy, like he was of better company than a cat right?

-        Of course, you would instantly reassure him, passing your fingers through his dark locks, kissing his lips “You’re irreplaceable Doc, but sometimes I enjoy Buddy’s calmness.” You would add, you knew he was going to react to your words, first he really felt moved by the affection you had for him then “Wait what do you mean calmness? I’m a chill dude” the confused face he had made you chuckle “Oh that you are but you have to admit you’re a bit all over the place sometimes…” you insinuated with an amused grin, he seemed to think for a bit “Maybe?” he finally admitted making you laugh even more before you kissed him once again “But don’t change Doc, I love you.” You assured him and when he realized you were just teasing him; you would end up going all the way with your boyfriend.

Freddie Quell

-        You had been dating Freddie for few months now, you saw each other almost everyday and you were seriously thinking of moving in with him. Deep down Freddie wanted to, but there was still this fear of commitment maybe that prevented him from asking you.

-        You had decided to adopt a dog, you wanted to have some company when you were alone and somehow you thought it might please your boyfriend.

-        At first Freddie seems uncertain, he doesn’t know what to think about this decision you made.

-        When Freddie spends time with you, your dog would be curious about your man, so silent, contemplative; so it tries to get Freddie’s attention nudging his hand with its muzzle, Freddie would frown at the contact, wondering why the animal was doing this to him. You would smile “I think it would like you to caress its head.” You clarified softly, so slowly Freddie did it, a smile forming on his lips as the dog enjoyed his care.  

-        You would teach Freddie how to take care properly of your dog, especially during the day when you were in university. You had noticed that your boyfriend wanted to spend time with your dog while you were away from his arms. He would listen attentively to your instructions and strictly apply them; he wouldn’t want you to be mad at him.

-        For once he would be the one guiding another being on ‘how to behave’, he had sense of responsibility and autonomy, somehow it helped him for his daily life, he was more able to make his own decisions, and he enjoyed it, he felt closer to what society expected of him.

-        Another thing is that Freddie often felt lonely even if he never admitted it, and to watch after your dog, would give him some company, he could talk to the dog, feeling better as he voiced out loud his many thoughts.

-        Somehow it was as if your dog understood everything of Freddie even his deepest emotions and that really surprised your boyfriend, most humans didn’t understand him but this dog was, strange…you felt relieved at this, at least when Freddie didn’t feel like sharing his pain, your dog still soothed him.

-        Freddie always had a strong childish side and naturally he would play a lot with your dog in the park and at home too, you laughed watching them play, Freddie giggling with happiness, you would end up joining them.

-        Your dog would also help him in public; with you already Freddie felt less anxious, but your dog helped him to interact with people who would usually look at him a strange way. The people would be attracted by the dog and start a conversation with Freddie, often talking about their own dog, it would greatly help Freddie to the point he would often meet the same people at the park, enjoying a nice conversation with them as your dog played with the others.

-        It also made his relationship with you easier, meaning how to accept affection and care from you but also how to care for you in other ways than sex. You would really see maturity build within Freddie and he would feel better and he would start to understand his place in the world, by your side.

 Tell me if you liked this concept and if you’d like more Multi-Joaquin characters Headcanons! And you can ask for some characters to be added like Bobby, Willy, Leonard, Abe Lucas or Theodore or others

Tag list: @hopelessdisasterr @skaravile​ @lyoongx​ @weirdflecksbutok​ @beautifulyoungprospect​ @stellargirlie​ @rosebloodstuffandthangss​ @clowndaddyfleck​ @jaylovesbats @niniitah-ah @dreamingmaria​ @sagyunaro​ @just-a-fucking-comedy​ @spaceinvader​ @radio-hoo-ha​ @lady-carnivals-stuff​ @sierraclegane @legojorny​ @lemondedeniname​ @hvproductions​ @syvellsworld​ @charlie-sisters​ @papercut-paranoia​ @jokerflecker​ @cigznvalentines​ @help-i-am-obssessed​ @arthurfleckjoker2019​ @theartistdetective​ @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend​ @fleckcmscott​ @obssessedandthirsty @ridiculousnerd​ @stardancerluv​ @sgtsavoytruffle​ @welcometomyhiddlesfandom @sanguinandoscrivo​ @valentina15 @phoenixbaby88​ @captain-el-writes​ @thedamchii​ @ninathefandomcollector​ @kiddastle @lovesickforjoaqvin @joaquins-angel​

@alexsportello

[cbraxs]

Warped [Time Warp Trio Fanfiction] - Chapter 12

A chill slithered through the warm night air. All color drained from Cleopatra’s face. The Pharaoh’s stony expression turned dour. He commanded Ahmose in a stern whisper, “Have soldiers out searching for her and guarding all entrances to the palace. We are going to handle this swiftly and silently. Alert no one.”

Ahmose bowed, and the two hurried away. Cleo stood still, fisting the fabric of her chiton, eyes tense in terror as she shook.

She exhaled and fixed stoic eyes on Izzy. “Priestess. Come with me.” And without another word, she left, not even looking behind to see if Izzy was following her or not.

What did she want with Izzy, Joe wondered. Maybe protection? But she didn’t know Izzy’s capabilities. Besides, Cleo had ancient Egyptian Dolph Lundgren as a personal bodyguard. Maybe she wanted company while getting some fresh air, but why not bring one of the girls? She’d known them longer.

Izzy stood, her gaze on Cleopatra’s retreating form. “I should go after her.”

“Is that really the safest idea?” Sam asked.

“It’s not like I can refuse an order. She outranks me.”

Sam pinched his nose in disbelief. “She’s… You’re not a real… you’ve been around Fred too long!”

Freddi pitched in, “I think she means is it’s better to go and not upset Cleopatra.”

“Go ahead,” Joe assured Izzy. “We’ll catch up with you two soon.”

Izzy nodded and jogged after Cleopatra. Once both girls disappeared into the crowd, Fred stood and brushed crumbs off his robes. “Well, this has been great, but it’s time for us to leave.”

“I’d love to, really,” Jodie said. “There’s just one thing. The Book is still broken!”

“You guys were the ones who insisted we stay despite The Book being out of order!” Sam said. “Now we’re stuck in the past with a crazed killer on the loose! Where’s that grape juice?”

Samantha snorted, but there was a twinge of nervousness. “Berenice wasn’t exactly Elizabeth Báthory.”

Joe stood. “We should trail them to be safe.”

The others agreed, and with that, they headed out to find Izzy and the princess.

~*~

Berenice was no fool.

She’d been quick to eliminate the obstacles in the way of her coveted position as ruler. She’d dealt with those who posed a threat to her throne Berenice had won this war and nothing was to get in the way of her luxurious station in life.

And yet… something had. That “something” being a Roman invasion, lead by her pestiferous father. In rapid succession, Berenice lost everything: her power, her throne, her affluence, her dignity. All but her life, which was due to be taken from her as well if not for the mysterious strange man escorting her through the night.

She trudged behind the man past the countryside. The glow of his cane lit a green path for them to follow. Her feet ached more than they ever had, her bones throbbed in the cold, and her throat burned from thirst. Despite this, Berenice hadn’t complained, not once, even though she had every right to. She’d learned quickly to not irritate the stranger.

He was… off. Off and choleric. The smallest thing could fly him into a fit of rage, going into diatribes about things she didn’t understand. It was clear that this man was mad, and Berenice wasn’t about to upset him. She didn’t know if she could trust him, but she understood he was powerful.

So she followed. Through clouds of dust, confusion, and mosquitos, she followed.

After what felt like hours, they settled in an empty hovel in the middle of nowhere. Not only was it devoid of residents, but of furnishing. Sand and beetles acted as their company.

“Sit,” the man commanded.

“On the dirt?” Berenice asked.

This innocent question did not please the man. He glared, and the glow on his cane flared, and he shot green lightning at her. She flinched and shut her eyes, expecting to be destroyed instantly, but no harm befell her.

“Is that better, you spoilt Ptolemaic wench?”

She opened her eyes and looked where the spot the man motioned towards. At the place where his magic struck, there was now a simple table with two chairs.

Berenice stared. She knew he had magic. Powerful magic. The kind she'd only ever heard about in stories and drunken retellings. That’s how he was able to bypass the soldiers guarding her and set her free. Still, it was incredible to behold.

The man stomped his foot like an impatient child. “Go ahead and sit! We don’t have all night.”

She did as she was told. He sat across from her, and stuck his cane into the ground, the unusual adornment acting as their candlelight.

The green glow illuminated every crease and frown line across his face. He had dark, unruly hair atop his head, above his mouth, and on his chin. A crystal disc hovered in front of one eye. His skin— and attitude— reminded her of the sands of Deshret: golden red and hostile.

Berenice fidgeted with the golden Wadjet amulet around her neck, the one thing those savages didn’t take from her. Perhaps they thought there was no need to take it when it would fall from her neck soon enough. Or maybe her father thought it would be funny to let her keep her jewelry while she was due for execution, a horrible reminder of what she’d lost in his victory.

After an eternity, the man spoke. “I bet you’re wondering why I freed you.”

“The question had crossed my mind,” Berenice admitted.

“You have something I want, and I possess the abilities to give you what you want.”

“You presume to know what I want?”

“Of course, you imbecile. You want the throne. Revenge. Complete impunity. Blah, blah, blah! I will destroy the Pharaoh and all others who stand in your way. And in return, I want your amulet, the Eye of Horus.”

“My amulet?” she asked. That’s all? “You could’ve taken it without struggle. Why go through the trouble of freeing me?”

“The Eye of Horus is a symbol of protection. For my purposes, it can’t be simply stolen, it must be given willfully.”

“But why my amulet? Surely you could get it elsewhere or even make your own—”

“My motives are none of your beeswax!” he said with a sniff. “Anyway, it won’t impact your mission.”

“My mission?”

“Of course! Do you expect to get your throne back with no work you lazy Prinzessin? No, I need for you to do this one thing for me.”

She nodded hesitantly. He was hiding something from her, that much was obvious. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the throne, and disposing of her bastard of a father. The thought of revenge was pure honey cake to her.

“In the palace, there is a group of kids with your sister, seven in total: three boys. four girls. I need you to capture a girl for me and bring her here.”

“Why can’t you—”

“Because I can’t! I didn’t free you from your pathetic fate to ask me idiotic questions. I freed you to kidnap a teenage girl for me!”

“All right! All right! My apologies. Which girl do you want me to bring to you?”

“The one with the silly pigtails.”

“Pigs’ tails? You need her to make you a healing potion?”

A beleaguered sigh from the man. “It’s her hair! Her name is Isadora. She has brown skin, brown hair, green eyes! Get the picture? Should I have prepared an elaborate trifold poster? Brought a projector to show you a PowerPoint presentation? Just bring me the girl.”

Another snap of his fingers and a cup full of clear liquid appeared.

“Hurry up and drink!” the man demanded. “You’re useless to me dehydrated. We need to iron out the details.”

Berenice sipped her water as he explained the plan. Once he finished, he snapped his fingers once more. In a flash of green, two wooden trinkets appeared in his hands: One shaped like a crocodile and the other shaped like a smaller version of the ornament on his cane.

“This,” he handed her the crocodile, “will help you out of any trouble you run into. And this,” he gave her the other item. “Will transport you back to me once you have the girl.”

Berenice looked over the items. They felt as real and smooth as they looked.

“You... truly have this power?” she asked, mostly to herself.

His creeping smile was as dry as the desert and his eyes just as unforgiving. “You haven’t the faintest idea.”

~*~

Izzy hadn’t seen her day going like this at all. She planned on seeing a movie and hanging out with friends. Maybe she’d even get a little risque and drain ten dollars at the crane game to win a cute plush she didn’t need.

Now she was pretending to be a priestess comforting a princess. Not just any run-of-the-mill princess, but Cleopatra. The Cleopatra. The beautiful, smart, charming last Pharaoh of Egypt.

Izzy’s parents would read her stories about Cleopatra, and she was as captivating as described. She had an aura of zeal around her that drew you to her and made her fascinating. She was genuinely excited to meet new people and show them the country she loved. Her energy was contagious and Izzy couldn’t help but feel what she felt.

And then there were her looks. There was a lot of speculation about whether or not Cleopatra was the drop-dead gorgeous beauty of legend, and Izzy always found that super boring. Cleopatra accomplished so much in her lifetime, it was annoying when people downgraded her to a mindless, evil sex-ductress.

Still, Izzy appreciated Cleopatra’s offbeat beauty. Her tall proud nose, which looked a bit like Joe’s, reminded her of a Greek statue. Her smile was always confident, her eyes sparkled, never wavering.

All this to say it was no wonder Izzy felt as nervous as she did as she silently followed the princess through echoing palace and looming pillars into a garden of flowers and trees.

The night buzzed with fireflies, the din of the party as soft as white noise. A light breeze rustled through the palm fronds and carried air that smelled faintly of flowers and smoke.

Cleopatra sat at a pond, her eyes cast down at the catfish darting about. Izzy followed suit, unsure of how to break the silence. She didn’t know if Cleopatra wanted to talk, but Izzy would be here if she decided to do so.

After a moment, Cleo said in a shaky voice, “I am… afraid, priestess. Irrationally, I admit, but I fear for my life. I fear for my father. If there’s a chance to regain her position, I know Berenice will jump at it. She is ruthless.”

“It’s okay to be afraid. Don’t be too hard on yourself for feeling your feelings.”

Cleopatra looked at her in… surprise? Confusion? Izzy didn’t know how to place her reaction, but she continued. “You have your father, his soldiers, and us. We won’t let anything bad happen to you. So don’t worry.”

A sigh from Cleo. “Thank you for the reassurance, priestess. I pray that my father’s men find her soon, and we can move forward with the execution.”

Izzy winced. “I know she’s awful and all, but she’s still your sister. Don’t you feel bad about… y’know?”

“My sister a threat,” Cleopatra said. “To allow a threat to linger is to allow your downfall.”

“But execution...” Izzy shook her head. “It just doesn’t feel right—”

“You clearly have no idea what Berenice is capable of!”

Izzy jumped at her sudden outburst, mouth agape, unable to respond. Not that Cleopatra gave her much of a chance to anyway.

“You have no idea what she’s done to her family, my family. To Egypt! Berenice is foolish and lazy and... selfish! She was a horrendous queen and cared nothing for the responsibility of ruling a nation.”

Tears brimmed in her eyes and threatened to spill down her reddening cheeks as she ranted. Her fist balled as if she was ready to clock the next person who questioned her.

“Egypt is weakened. We need allies. That is why I’ve been especially kind to your King Fred. After my father hands the crown over to me, I will have the weight of Egypt on my shoulders. I will have to undo all the centuries of damage that my ancestors caused neglecting my country. If Berenice must be executed to save my Egypt, then so be it!”

Cleopatra panted as she finished her speech. A shiver ran through her.

Izzy averted her eyes back to the pond. She hadn’t meant to upset her, but she couldn’t help but speak her mind.

She couldn’t blame Cleopatra for reacting this way. Berenice killed her own mother and had her husband murdered. If she were to overthrow the Pharaoh again, she’d no doubt have Cleopatra and her father killed. That’s a lot to put on any fourteen-year-old.

Izzy wasn’t ignorant of who Cleopatra would become. She did many amazing things during her rule, but there was also a lot of ugly stuff. Cleopatra would do to her siblings what Berenice did before her. It was easy to overlook that stuff when she was just a historical figure, a character in a book, a role in a film. But now, having gotten to know Cleopatra today, it was harder to reconcile the actions with the person.

Joe and Anna’s spat was so much easier to deal with compared to this. The Ptolemy dynasty was full of corruption and betrayal. They valued power over family. Cleopatra grew up seeing all this familial betrayal, so it’s normal to her. It was what she had to do. It was harsh and difficult, but necessary for her. Izzy didn’t agree, but this was above what she could handle.

Cleopatra sighed and wiped away tears. “My apologies, priestess. I should not have lost my temper at you like that—”

“Spiders and flies!”

Cleopatra looked at her liked she grew a third eye on her chin.

Oh. She should probably explain what the heck she was talking about so she didn’t look like a loon. “Spiders and flies. A spider’s life appears crazy to a fly. They stay in one spot instead of hunting for food, devouring every fly that falls into their web. But that’s just the spider’s way. It seems monstrous and disgusting, but that’s just the spider surviving.”

Cleo gave her a strange look, like the third eye had sprouted wings.

Izzy rubbed the back of her head. “What I mean is, we’re from different worlds. I can’t convince you to see things the way I do.”

The princess grimaced. “And you say this by likening me a spider, priestess? Perhaps you have confused me with Arachne instead of Aphrodite?”

“I-I— That’s now what I meant!” In hindsight, that wasn’t the most flattering comparison. Maybe she should have thought of cuter animals, like bunnies and foxes. No, wait… that’s way more gruesome...

But to Izzy’s shock, Cleopatra giggled. “You are most unusual, priestess. I appreciate you letting voice my discontent. I feel a bit better now.”

Her smile made Izzy’s cheeks warm. “T-to be honest I’m not sure I did much, but I’m glad you feel better.”

Cleo eyed Izzy with a curious look. “Are you perhaps the fly in this scenario? Buzzing around aimlessly until trapped in your demise by your own thoughtlessness?”

Izzy frowned and thought about it. “I… really really hope not.”

Cleopatra laughed again and Izzy couldn’t help but grin.

A rustling behind them made Izzy whirl around. Her friends stumbled upon the garden, frozen like statues that got caught moving. Izzy waved them over to join them at the pond. “How’d you guys find us so fast?”

“We weren’t stalking you!” Freddi squeaked in a way that made Izzy think they might have been stalking them.

Joe looked from Izzy to the laughing Cleopatra in confusion. “What did you do? Arrest Berenice yourself already?”

“Ah! My guest!” Cleo stood and clasped her hands. “My apologies for keeping you waiting. Let’s return to the party shall we?”

~*~

After the party wound down, the eight of them decided to retire back in the rooms. Cleopatra insisted on spending the night with them. The Pharaoh wasn’t too thrilled with this, but eventually, he gave in with the caveat that Ahmose and another soldier stand guard outside the rooms. As if Joe and the others planned on kidnapping her or something.

A small hallway separated the bedrooms by gender. Joe expected Izzy to be nervous to bunk with strangers, but she didn’t seem too bothered, which was a relief. In fact, she and Cleopatra were pretty attached to each other. Cleo hooked arms with Izzy and practically dragged her around everywhere, not that Izzy seemed to mind.

The boys’ room was more extravagant than their usual time warp related accommodations. A great window overlooked the dark glittering waters of the great bay, allowing the moon as well as candlelight to illuminate their sleeping quarters. A tray of plums, grapes, palm nuts, and figs, and a pitcher of water sat in the center of the room. Brightly painted geometric shapes and pictures of Greek heroes and gods decorated the walls. And good luck getting out of bed once you got in. The fluffy, chaise lounge chair like beds were heaven, especially compared to the jail cells and barns they were used to. Their beds were placed equal parts away against the walls with Joe’s bed the closest to the door.

Fred flopped on the bed. “These digs are awesome!”

“Yeah,” Sam said, “except for the murderer running around.”

“Would you relax, Royal Geek? Unless you’re gonna marry Cleopatra, you have no reason to worry.”

“No, but you might, Fred,” Joe teased.” Cleopatra’s real flirty with you.”

Despite Joe’s tone, Fred puffed up his chest. “What can I say? The Queen of the Nile has excellent taste.”

Sam laughed at that. Fred glared at him and asked what was so funny, which made Sam laugh harder.

“You might not have to worry, Fred,” Sam said. “Cleopatra looks more into Izzy now than you.”

Fred tossed a pillow at him, and all three of them laughed.

A knock on the door interrupted their laughter. Joe turned to see Jodie stood at the entrance, Book in hand. “May I come in?”

Fred rolled his eyes. “Why bother asking? You’re gonna come in anyway.”

Jodie waved away his comment. She marched in (pretty much proving Fred’s point) and sat at the foot of Joe’s bed.

Joe motioned towards The Book. “Any luck fixing it?”

Jodie shook her head as she flipped through the pages. “I’ve never had to fix a problem like this before. It’s happened plenty of times, but never while I owned it.”

She looked helplessly through the glitched, buggy pages. Joe couldn’t help but feel for her. To say Jodie was prideful would be an understatement. She prided herself on her appearance, her accomplishments, but most importantly she prided herself on her handling of The Book.

She’d gotten The Book at ten, the same age he did, but had been warping since she was little. At the age of five, she was appointed to Time Page by her uncle Sid, the uncle who passed The Book on to her. Her warp record wasn’t flawless but she’d never once lost The Book on a warp (excluding any Fred-based excursions). She was a stickler when it came to interfering with history, even more so than Sam. Joe knew how important time traveling was to her.

“Would it help if I tell you what happened?” Joe asked.

Her brows scrunched in thought but didn’t look at him. “Possibly.”

He explained what happened with Izzy in ancient Egypt. Joe told her it was an accident, which was true, but didn’t mention that they were trying to find her dad. He’d tell her eventually, once they were home, but for now, fixing The Book was priority number one. He didn’t want to distract Jodie with that can of worms.

When Joe got to the part when Mad Jack shot at The Book, Jodie’s jaw hit the floor. “He shot The Book?! I know he’s crazy but even he’s not crazy enough to do that.”

“I don’t think he did it on purpose. From how Izzy described it, she shielded herself instinctually.”

“Of course she would,” Jodie muttered. “Thanks for telling me, but I don’t think it’ll help us. Not unless you can shoot magic beams at it.”

He couldn’t, but not for lack of trying. He’d practiced shooting lasers from his fingers many times in his room just to see if he could. Of course, he wasn’t about to bring that up in front of Jodie. Or anyone for that matter.

“So what now?” Joe asked.

“It’s not an exact science, but whenever The Book gets damaged, similar damage usually does the trick. Remember when warrior king Fred oh so expertly stabbed The Book with a spear. Twice.”

“Saved your butt,” Fred piped in.

Jodie rolled her eyes but struggled to hide a small smile. “Anyway, in lieu of magical energy bolts, we’ll have to find another way.” She closed The Book and held it reverently in front of her. “I-I hope this works.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled. Her fingers glowed where they touched The Book. She muttered words under her breath over and over until The Book rumbled in her hands like a mini thunderstorm was going on between the pages. The glow died and Jodie flipped through the pages to find that it was… still jumbled. “Shoot!” Jodie slammed The Book shut. “Well, it was worth a shot.”

“What was that?” Joe asked.

“It’s hard to explain... but it’s sort of a soft reboot.”

Joe waited to see if she was kidding, but Jodie didn’t exactly inherit his sense of humor. “Riiiiight. I get it, but maybe you should explain, so Fred and Sam get it.”

Another roll of her eyes. “The Book is like an ancient supercomputer made by people who didn’t quite understand how to make a computer. It’s a patchwork of pieces and features added over time, which is why it’s powerful but volatile. Right now, it's like an iced computer with a single living aperture.”

“Come again?”

“I think she means,” Sam said, “that it’s like a frozen computer with a working window.”

“Oooooh.” It was times like this that reminded Joe that Jodie was from a future with wildly different technologies than his own time.

But what she said made sense. The Book did sort of function like a computer. It had search features and keyboards on some pages. He wondered if it's always worked like this or if adapted to their modern way of doing things. “So do we need to turn it off and on, or is it there some type of control, alt, delete ritual?”

“It's not as easy as pushing a switch.”

“Not how computers work—”

“However they work, this requires real magic. More than the two of us have.” Jodie’s lip curled, her golden-brown eyes narrowed in thought. “I hate to say it, but I think we need Isadora's help.”

Joe wanted to ask why she hated to say it, and what her deal was with Izzy anyway. But something she said didn’t sit right.

“How… how did you know Izzy could use magic?”

Jodie bit her lip. “I-I just assumed she was the one who taught you that annoying levitation trick. I mean, how else would you have learned that?”

“Oh. Right.” He almost forgot about showing off his new tricked. It made sense she’d assume Izzy taught him.

Jodie groaned. “I guess we have to go get her.”

There it was again, her annoyed attitude towards Izzy. “How come you don't like her?”

Jodie looked at him like he just spoke backwards. “Don’t like who?”

Was she for real? It was obvious who he was talking about. He fixed her with a look and she faltered under the glare. “It's not that I don't like her. It's just... I think you should stop hanging out with Isadora. She’s not—”

Suddenly, Jodie shoved The Book back in her satchel. Her face paled and she stared at the floor as if she was afraid if she looked away it would vanish. Joe was about the ask what was wrong when heard a shuffle behind him.

Izzy stood in the doorway. “Uh, h-hey guys. Cleopatra was going to teach us how to play Senet. I wanted to ask if you’d like to join us, but now I realize that might be really boring so forget I was here.”

“Are you kidding?” Sam jumped out of his bed. “The rules of Senet are lost. No way I’m missing that!”

“Count me in.” Fred stood and stretched. “Beats lying around here with no wifi.”

“Did you really expect to have wifi here?”

“No, but it would’ve been nice.”

“We’ll join you guys in a bit,” Joe said. “Jodie and I are finishing up here.”

Fred and Sam nodded and headed off to the girls’ room. Izzy glanced back at them. Concern flashed across her face before disappearing into the hall.

Jodie groaned and faced palmed. “She heard me, didn’t she? Darn it! This is the worst.”

Joe was beyond confused. Jodie wasn’t one to hide how she felt about anything or anyone. If she hated Izzy, why would she care if she knew?

“I don’t know what your deal is with her,” Joe said, “but you should give her a chance. Yeah, she can be a little weird at first but she’s pretty cool and fun. I think you two would get along if you apologize. She’s actually surprisingly forgiving—”

“I don’t hate her!” Jodie snapped. “It’s just…” A heavy sigh. “She shouldn’t be here. Not now. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Okay, that didn’t make any sense. Before he could ask her to elaborate, a shriek followed by a crash echoed through the hall from the girls’ room. Joe and Jodie jumped and rushed to the room, not knowing what was to come when they got there.

[hunnywrites]

Arcade Dreams: Chapter Twenty One

Summary: There’s a new girl working at the Palace Arcade and Hawkins’ Family Video. Billy can’t stand her, and the feeling is mutual. No matter what everyone else seems to think.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/OFC

A/N: It’s a Thanksgiving miracle I’ve finally finished the chapter. I’m sorry this is so late! We’re heading into the summer of ‘85 now, but don’t worry! I’ll be writing a few chapters of Chasing Yesterday to fill in the spaces between Billy and Teddi moving in together and now. I just didn’t want things to feel too clunky. This chapter also ends a tad awkwardly, but I’m breaking it into two parts so the chapters don’t get too long. Hope you enjoy!

The Hawkins public pool was packed to the brim with people. As Teddi hopped out of her van and made her way through the parking lot, the sound of splashing, kids yelling and laughing and the Power of Love playing on someone’s boombox nearby grew louder and louder. Today was her day off, but since everyone she knew was working Teddi decided laying out by the pool was probably a better decision than staying home and watching Star Trek reruns all day. 

Teddi made her way inside the gates, passing the bulletin board that read “Meet our ‘85 swim season lifeguards’ in large yellow letters. Teddi’s photo was between Heather and Billy’s. Her hair was longer than it had been when she moved to Hawkins and no longer platinum. Heather had helped her dye it a more natural, golden, honey blonde at the beginning of the summer. The silver ring that had been through her right nostril had been replaced with a thin gold ring that Billy had gotten her simply to match the small gold hoop that was in his ear now (the silver dangly earring Billy had been wearing before was now in Teddi’s ear). Teddi was smiling brightly at the camera, which was a stark contrast from the cool, almost bored expression that was on Billy’s face in his photo. 

“Hey, Katie.” she said with a smile as she passed by the front desk. Katie was sitting with her feet up on the counter and a magazine in her lap. Katie threw a wave in Teddi’s direction, not bothering to look up. Heather was perched up in the lifeguard’s chair, glaring down at a group of kids who were running over to the diving boards. Heather waved at her before blowing her whistle at the kids loudly. 

Teddi walked over to the tiny snack bar window, smiling tentatively at the girl on the other side. Cheryl Burns had gotten a job at the pool at the beginning of the summer. Initially she had applied to be a lifeguard, but had quickly changed her mind. “You mean if someone totally disgusting starts drowning or whatever I have to like...give them mouth to mouth? Gross. No thanks.” were her exact words. So Freddy had stuck her at the snack bar. She of course hated it. 

Cheryl’s strawberry blonde hair sat high up on her head in a ponytail. She brushed her feathered bangs out of her eyes, her eyebrows raising expectantly at Teddi. “...Coke, please.” Teddi squeaked out. Cheryl was an intimidating girl, and she knew it. Sometimes Teddi was certain that Cheryl enjoyed making her nervous. 

Cheryl set down the can of coke in front of Teddi, sneering at it in disgust. “I don’t know how you drink that shit,” she jabbed one of her long, painted nails at the “New Coke” logo. “They totally ruined it.” she held her out towards Teddi. 

Teddi dropped her change into Cheryl’s hand. “It’s not that bad...you get used to it.” 

Cheryl rolled her eyes. “I’d rather shove old man Myers’ speedo in my mouth,” she scoffed, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder. Cheryl was also the most dramatic person Teddi had ever met. Cheryl looked back at the red clock on the wall behind her, a smirk forming on her lips as she leaned forward. “Here comes lover boy,” she said in a sweet, sing songy tone, nodding her head towards the locker rooms. 

Teddi turned just as Billy was walking out. While Teddi enjoyed the summer time, Billy came alive in it. It brought out the Cali boy in him like flowers that bloomed with the warm weather. His sandy blonde hair had turned a few shades lighter in the sun. His skin was a deep, golden bronze. Billy had gotten a new air of confidence about him ever since he’d move out, but now it was something different. Something that Teddi wasn’t the only one to notice. 

Karen Wheeler and a few of the other moms showed up to the pool every day around mid afternoon for Billy’s shift. They weren’t very secretive about it either. Heather would climb down from the lifeguard chair and each of them would start adjusting their swimsuits and makeup while they waited for Billy to come out. 

“Look at them,” Cheryl scoffed. “It’s so gross how they’re all drooling over him. I mean, Karen has a kid his age. And like he’d want some dried up old hag anyways,” she said with an eye roll. “You should go over there and like french him or something and tell that tacky bitch to back off. I mean, who the fuck wears a pearl necklace to a pool?” 

Teddi couldn’t help but laugh. She pulled her eyes from Billy, turning back to Cheryl. “Cheryl, do you always have to be so...blunt?” she asked, taking a sip of her coke. 

Cheryl pursed her glossy lips. “I’m a leo. It’s what we do,” she said matter of factly. Teddi coughed on her soda, sputtering loudly. “Jesus, Larsson. Say it, don’t spray it.” Cheryl frowned, leaning away from Teddi. 

“Sorry,” Teddi cleared her throat. “Sorry...I’m gonna go. Always a pleasure chatting with you, Cheryl.” she gave the blonde an awkward salute, wincing at herself as she spun around on her heel and heading over to Billy. 

Billy smirked down at Teddi as he watched her approach him, pushing his sunglasses down his nose to look at her. “You stalkin’ me, Larsson?” he teased. Teddi stepped up onto a bar at the bottom of the lifeguard chair, balancing carefully as she reached up to kiss Billy. She laughed when she felt his fingers slipping into the back of her cut off shorts, smacking his hand away. No doubt a show for the group of eyes that were glaring a hole into Teddi behind her. 

“Aren’t you a little over dressed for the pool?” he asked, his hand resting on her lower back. 

“Cool your jets. I’m gonna change,” she rolled her eyes. “Are you busy tomorrow?” 

Billy looked at her cooly. “...Depends.” 

Teddi let out a huff. “Depends on what?” 

“On what you’re gonna ask me to do...and which bikini you’re wearing under there.” he was smirking again.

Teddi pulled a face, popping her hip slightly and raising an eyebrow. “Who says I’m wearing anything under this?” 

Billy’s smirk twitched just slightly before he looked over the top of his glasses at her again, his eyes trained on the white crop top that was covered in little daisies that Teddi was wearing before looking back at her. “...Where am I going?” 

Teddi laughed. Sometimes it was just too easy. “It’s El’s birthday tomorrow. Hop’s having a party for her at the cabin and then she and Max are sleeping over at our place.” dinner at Hopper’s cabin had become a regular weekly thing for Billy and Teddi. He’d started to invite them over after the fight between Billy and Tommy. Billy had of course been closed off to the idea at first. Teddi had gone to the cabin alone for about the first three weeks before she convinced him to join her. 

“You want me to go to some 13 year old’s birthday party?” he asked.

“She’s 14 now.”

“Whatever.” 

“Oh come on,” Teddi huffed. “It’ll be fun. There’s cake. How can you say no to cake?” 

Billy held up his hands. “I’ll go. But don’t expect me to play pin the tail on the donkey or whatever the hell those little dorks do at parties,” he grumbled. Teddi rolled her eyes. “Speaking of birthdays...what do you wanna do for yours?” 

Teddi let out a groan. Her 18th birthday was in a week and she’d been trying her damndest not to think about it. “I don’t know...do we have to do anything?” 

Billy shot her a look. “If I tried that with my birthday would that work?” 

Teddi sighed “No…”

“What’d you used to do back home?” he asked. 

Teddi thought about it. Birthdays in her family had never really been a very big deal. Her parents hadn’t even celebrated their own unless you counted the fancy new purse her dad would buy her mother every year. “...Me and Hannah would drive into the city and we’d ride the Staten Island ferry back and forth for a few hours and smoke weed.” she finally said.

Billy laughed. “Jesus, Larsson. As fun as that sounds, you got any other ideas?”

“Well what did you do for your 18th birthday?” she asked with an irritated sigh. 

Billy smirked. “Cheryl.” he said with a snort. 

“Ugh. You’re disgusting,” she groaned, Billy chuckling at her. “As fun as that sounds, I think I’d rather just go to the movies or something. Maybe we can go to Starcourt and bring Max and El.” she suggested. 

Billy’s smile faltered for just a moment. “Whatever you say, Birthday Girl.” he said cooly. 

Teddi frowned slightly, pulling away from him. “...I’m gonna go find a lounger and read for awhile. You gonna come see me after you’re done up here?” she asked. Billy’s smile was back as he nodded and leaned in to kiss her again as if nothing had happened. Teddi hopped down, not looking at Karen and her friends as she passed them and headed for an empty chair by the pool. 

She started to wonder almost obsessively about the look on Billy’s face when she suggested going to the movies as she peeled her crop top and shorts off. She knew that he was watching her strip down to her bright green bikini, but didn’t turn to look at him. Had he maybe planned something different? Was it because she wanted to go with El and Max? When it came to Billy there was really no telling what was going on in his head.

Teddi let out a heavy sigh, plopping down onto the white lounger and pulling her copy of the Fellowship of the Rings out of her bag. With her sunglasses on, she allowed herself to peek back at Billy as she pretended to read. He was watching her with a sort of confused frown before his jaw set tightly and he turned away from her. 

He was definitely up to something. 

---

Teddi was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, chewing on her bottom lip as she carefully folded the bright purple wrapping paper around the stack of books she’d gotten El for her birthday. Teddi had picked them out carefully. There was the Princess Bride, Alice in Wonderland and the Last Unicorn; each bound in intricate covers with a short message that Teddi had written inside each of them. 

The phone started ringing as she scrawled From Teddi and Billy on the little tag she’d stuck to the wrapping paper. “I got it,” Billy called from his room. Teddi didn’t pay much attention to him. She grabbed a smaller present, wrapped in the same purple paper, and set it on top of the other, larger present. “Yeah?...Oh, yeah hi,” Billy threw a look over at Teddi before he turned from her, lowering his voice to speak to whoever was on the other end. 

Teddi watched him with a frown. She grabbed the TV remote, muting the Starcourt commercial that was playing so she could hear a little better. “Just give me like...an hour. I’ll be there. Yeah. Alright, I’ll see you then.” Billy hung up. He turned, going still when he met Teddi’s eyes. She crossed her arms. 

“Who was that?” she asked. 

Billy shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Nobody...uh, look Ted, I know I said I’d go to El’s party…”

“You’re cancelling? Billy, we were supposed to leave like ten minutes ago.” she huffed. Teddi stood, scooping the gifts into her arms. 

“Something came up is all. I gotta…” he shook his head. “I just gotta be somewhere, okay? El’s not gonna give a shit that I’m not there.” his tone was starting to get a little colder. Like Teddi was accusing him of something. It only made her more suspicious. 

“You know that that’s not true,” she argued. While Teddi and El had grown significantly closer over the last few months, Billy had also (begrudgingly) bonded with her much to Teddi’s surprise. “What’s going on here? You’re acting really weird. Why can’t I know where you’re going?”

She was trying to keep her tone light, playful. She even let out a little laugh at the end like she was teasing him. Billy’s jaw clenched, and Teddi’s stomach dropped. “...I gotta go. I’ll see you later. Tell El I said happy birthday.” he muttered, grabbing his keys and quickly walking out. 

Teddi glared at the door. The Camaro’s engine rumbled in the distance, slowly disappearing as Billy drove off. “Of all the nights to pull this shit…” she mumbled to herself, nearly stomping over to the kitchen counter and snatching up her keys. She spent the drive back into Hawkins going over theories to herself. Teddi found herself feeling ashamed when she wondered if maybe there was someone else. 

She liked to think that if Billy was cheating on her he’d hide it better. Or maybe that was just her ego. It was Billy after all. Teddi let out a heavy sigh. It had to be something else. She just had absolutely no idea what it could be. 

When she arrived at the cabin she pushed Billy from her mind. She wouldn’t let this ruin the party. Teddi grabbed the presents, hopping out of the van and heading up the porch, her boots thumping against the old wood. Hopper answered when she knocked.

“Hey, kiddo,” he grinned down at her, his eyes immediately looking over to the empty space beside her. “...No Billy?” he asked, his eyebrows raised. 

“Something came up last minute,” she explained, trying to keep her tone neutral. “It’s probably for the best. I’m sure he’d complain about the cake ruining his physique or something.”

Hopper chuckled and stepped aside to let Teddi in. He’d traded in his uniform for some jeans an old plaid button up. Teddi always thought he looked less intimidating in his own clothes. More like a dad that liked to tell cheesy jokes...which was exactly what Hopper was. 

The kids were all already there aside from Dustin, who was off at summer camp. They were all crowded around the dinner table playing a game of Candyland. The cabin was decorated with colorful streamers, balloons and a big banner that read Happy Birthday! was hanging above the kitchen. There was a small cake sitting out on the counter waiting for it’s candles. It was a soft yellow color with bright pink piping and Happy Birthday El scrawled in shaky lettering that Teddi assumed belonged to Hopper. 

“Teddi!” El said, smiling brightly at her before pushing her chair back and hurrying over to the blonde. Teddi set her presents aside before wrapping her in a tight hug.

“Jeez, Ellie Bean. When’d you get so tall? I don’t have to bend down to hug you anymore.” she laughed. All of the kids had hit a growth spurt over the summer. Teddi no longer towered over them. She wasn’t really sure when it had happened exactly. It was like one day suddenly Mike was taller than she was and she’d nearly had an existential crisis. 

El let out a small laugh. “Hop says I’m not allowed to get any taller.” 

“He’s right.” Teddi muttered. 

“...Where’s Billy?” El asked, peering out one of the front windows as if she expected to see Billy smoking out on the porch.  

Teddi winced a little at her disappointed expression. “He’s not gonna be able to make it. Something came up, I guess. He told me to tell you happy birthday.”

That had gotten Max’s attention. The redhead looked away from the board game, looking at Teddi suspiciously. “What do you mean something came up? Did you guys break up?” she asked.

Teddi let out a sigh. “No...it’s a long story. I’d rather not talk about it.” she mumbled, heading over to the fridge to grab a drink. El and Max shared a knowing look. They’d agree to drop the subject. For now. 

“Hey, how come we can’t go to the sleepover?” Lucas asked as Teddi pulled a seat up to the game. 

Max rolled her eyes. “Because it’s a girl’s night, genius. None of you are girls.”

“That’s pretty sexist of you guys.” Mike argued. 

Hopper scoffed loudly from his spot on the couch. “Quit while you’re behind, Wheeler.” 

“What do you guys even do during a girl’s night?” Lucas asked, looking between the three girls. 

“Summon demons.” Teddi said with a straight face.

Mike, Lucas and Will all shared a look. “...I’m pretty sure she’s kidding.” Will finally decided. 

After the game of Candyland (Mike won, but Lucas had accused him of cheating) they all crowded around El to sing happy birthday and eat cake. After the presents had been opened, Teddi held up the smaller gift she had wrapped earlier, motioning to El to follow her out to the porch. 

She handed the small, but long box to the teen with an almost embarrassed look. El smiled at her, making quick work of ripping the paper open. Inside the white box was quite frankly one of the tackiest necklaces Teddi had ever seen. It had a clunky, golden chain and a deep blue stone at the end of it. In the stone there was a constellation that was almost crudely carved into the stone. 

“When I was little and my dad started working for the city, he took me and my mom to this state fair so he could make himself look good for his bosses. There were all these game stands, and one of them was this little pool that had these little rubber ducks in it. You got to pick three of them, and if you picked the right one you got a prize. So I begged him over and over to let me play and I ended up winning that horrible necklace,” she said, her and El both laughing. “It’s how I found out I was a gemini. The girl that worked at the stand was a total hippie and gave it to me when I told her my birthday. The stone is supposed to be our birthstone and then that’s the gemini constellation...I don’t know. I found it again after I moved in with Billy and I thought you should have it. It’s ugly in kind of a cool way.”

El held the necklace up, smiling up at Teddi. “I love it.” 

“Yeah?” Teddi asked, letting out a relieved sigh. “Good! Here,” she took the necklace from El, twirling her finger to tell her to turn around and clasped it around her neck. El turned back towards Teddi, taking the small pendant between her fingers. “Perfect. Come on, we should go get Max and head out before Hop tries to kill Mike.” Teddi snickered. 

The two girls headed inside, El hurrying over to Max and pulling her to her room to grab their things. Hopper looked so relieved Teddi thought he might cry. He stood up from the couch, waving his hands at the door. “Alright, boys, the party’s over. You don’t have to go home, but you have to get the hell outta my house.” 

“This is totally unfair!” Mike complained. “I can’t spend time with my girlfriend on her birthday because of girl’s night?” 

“How ‘bout you complain to someone who cares, Wheeler. Let’s go.” Hopper said, herding him towards the door. El and Max came running back out, arms full with their bags and sleeping bags. Lucas and Will wished her happy birthday again before practically dragging Mike out to their bikes. 

“Don’t worry chief, I’ll take good care of them,” Teddi said, placing her hands on El and Max’s heads. “We’re gonna make crank calls and break out the ouija board.”

Hopper smiled thinly at her. “Funny. You two be good, alright? No boys or ritual sacrifices,” he leaned forward, hugging El and placing a kiss on her head. “Happy birthday, kid.” he said, smiling down fondly at his daughter. 

Once the three girls were in the van and headed back for the apartment, Max spoke up. “So...what’s going on with Billy? Is he being an ass again?”

“What happened to not talking about it?” Teddi asked. 

“Why not? The boys aren’t here. So, what did he do? What was this thing that suddenly came up?” Max asked, leaning forward excitedly. 

Teddi looked at the two girls in the rearview mirror before letting out a sigh. “...I’m not really sure yet. Someone called right before we were supposed to leave for the party and he said he had to go. And when I asked him what was going on he got all...weird.” 

Max and El looked at each other. “Weird how? Like weird weird, or Billy weird?” 

“Billy weird. He’s been acting like this all day. Like he’s keeping a secret or something.”

“We should find him.” El said with a firm nod. 

Teddi laughed. “Find him and do what? Spy on him?” 

Max looked at her as if the answer was obvious. “Duh. If he’s with someone else you can catch him in the act and dump his ass.”

Teddi actually considered it for a moment before shaking her head. “That’s insane. What about the sleepover? And how would we even find him? You want me to drive all around Hawkins all night?” 

“We can still have the sleepover later,” Max shook her head. El shot her best friend a brief, knowing look. Max looked back at Teddi with an unsure expression. “...El can find him.”

“Oh yeah? How?”

El smiled at Teddi sheepishly. “...Long story.” 

[templarhalo]

Old Man Valdor

A little AU idea I had.  Not sure if this will  be expanded upon or remain a one shot.  @sisterofsilence

Constantin  Valdor, former Captain-General of the Legio Custodes  awoke to whispers and the clanking of hand tools.   He let out a groan of frustration and hemoved the driver’s side seat of his 25 Mars pattern limo backup.

He stumbled out and found himself facing four gangers, all geneforged hunks with  poorly casted iron teeth.  They  were trying to steal his car’s hubcaps.   If they  were smarter, they might have just considered stealing the car itself

“ Evening, you  do realize those are chrome plated lugs right? You’re going to strip them.”

The gangers didn’t even respond.   Instead they shot  him with a stub cannon.

He lay there for a while on the cold, irradiated dirt and then rose  again.

“ Gentlemen I’m going to give you one chance to leave.  I’m in a good mood tonight.”

The gang raised their weapons.

Constantin drew his own.

When Constantin  Valdor  became the first Custodes his King had gifted him strength  that had surpassed a Space Marine, Speed that was as fast as a motorbike, a healing factor that granted him  virtual immortality and claws of bone that sprouted from between his knuckles. Late he had undergone   a rather painful procedure that had bonded the unbreakable metal Adamantium  to  his bone claws and entire skeleton.

The gangers rushed him. One of  them bashed him in the skull with a shock maul.  Constantin rewarded him by burying his claws into the man’s skull.   Valdor removed the hand of the ganger carrying the stub cannon.  Unfortunately it went off and a round pinged off the door of the limo,

“Motherfracker!” Valdor roared.  He  rammed his claws deep into  the ganger’s chest.  He pulled them  out and raked them across his face, sending him sprawling to the ground.

The third ganger emptied an auto pistol into  Valdor and ran.  Valdor staggered as his enhanced physiology and healing factor handled his injuries.

Valder caught his breath, his blood pooling from his wounds.  He grunted as bullets slowly and painfully exited his body.  Twenty five years ago  the gangers wouldn't have been able to  lay  a finger on him.   

But that had been twenty five years ago

And Terra and the Imperium of Man was not the same one it was twenty-five years ago.

Neither was Constantin Valdor.

His hair was no longer in its signature mohawk but in  a dishevelled mess.   He had grown a beard.  His eyes were no longer that of a vigilant bodyguard, but of a broken old man trying to survive in the  smoldering  ashes of a galaxy that had once been on fire.  

He stumbled back into  the limo he had leased and drove off

“ And in today’s news, Lord Guilliman  reassures citizens that warp travel  is still  stable after yesterday’s flicker in the Astronomicon.   Citizens are reminded -

Valdor changed the vox station, than growled and shut it off.

Constantin  hated funerals. He hated foul weather. Both had reared their ugly heads today.    The former was because he never had the chance to bury his fellow Custodians or the woman he had loved.   The latter was because like any sane human being  rain was always a nuisance.

He let the semi -acidic rain  patter on him as he guzzled a flask of Vostrayan amesac.  It was empty in seconds,   He chucked the flask and walked to those mourning some bigshot Administratum clerk.

“Constantin Valdor.”  a cultured, raspy voice said.  

The former member of the Ten Thousand  turned and found himself facing a traitor.

Fabius Bile was no longer the promising young Apothecary of the IIIrd who  interned in the gene labs of the Imperial Palace in  the heady first years of the Great Crusade.  He was still a thrice damned traitor,  but he had looked a let better during Horus’ temper tantrum than he did now.

Bile was thinner than an Ogryn.  His face was gaunt and heavily lined.  His hands were shaking and his hair was thin.  He no longer wore his Power armor or coat of human skin. Instead he wore thin grey robes with a brown coak.

“I need your help.  Please, I’m in trouble.  Guilliman has gone  madder than my own father. He’s opened your master’s gene forges he’s-”

“Stay the frack away from me.”  Valdor replied.   He walked  away  not even listening to  him ramble about  “Gland hounds and “He’s trying to make more of you Custodes.”

The former mad scientist drove past him in  a battered red car.   A young girl  in  a red cloak was staring at him.   

“Who was that?” one of the mourners asked.   

‘Some crazy old man.” Valdor replied.   He reached for the second flask of Amesac in his coat pocket

  .    

 “As I live and breath, Constantin  Valdor himself.”

Constanitn  quickly jerked his head around, shoving the medication he had gotten through ill begotten means in his suit pocket.

“And he’s a junkie now.” the Astartes said.

“Who the frack are you?” Valdor asked.

“Captain Aenoid Thel.” The Astartes said.   He was handsome clad in a blue chiton and  combat boots.  A regular combat knife and bolt pistol strapped to  his hip. Valdor noticed his right hand was not original  but a cloned one.  

“I hope you noticed there’s a bullet hole in your door.” the Ultramarine said

“Did Fabius find you yet?”  Thel asked.

Valdor didn’t reply

“You know the Arbites found a couple of dead Dhakal  gangers in  a pull out on  route 50.  They narrowed it down to a Night Lord, or the old holo film character Freddy Kruger. And neither those makes sense.  One’s rotting in the Eye of Terror the other being fictional.”

. Valdor remained silent.

“You see my lord, I’m not looking for you, or Lady Arlette. And while my primarch would be elated to  know where you  took his father, that’s not my primary  objective.   I’m looking for someone who’s looking for you.   Besides I already  know where you  three are anyway.”

Thel leaned forward.   He had the smugness that all the XIIIth had. It made Valdor want to jam his claws through  the Ultramarine’s brain.

“You see, Fabius Bile was sentenced to forced research for the rest of his life.   He stole something from me.  Something I am responsible for.  Something that is invaluable to the future of the Imperium of Man.”

“If I had seen Fabius Bile, I would have killed him myself.   Now get the frack out of my car” Valdor said as evenly as he could.

Thel pulled a business card out of his chiton.

“If Bile does find you.”  The legionnaire said as he exited the card.

Valdor was quite surprised that the Ultramarine had a business card.   Valdor had never had one  and he had commanded the bodyguard of the Emperor himself.

The card read.

Captain Aenoid Thel- Captain 2nd Company of the Ultramarines

Chief of Security- Imperial Palace Gene Labs

“Frack! Frack! Frack!” Vador roared.

Valdor’s destination  was old smelting facility that had been the property of Tribune Arlette Augusta Amon Rakaposhi Gorro.    Something the history  books left out was that the Imperium wasn’t just built by the Legiones Astartes, Solar Auxilla  and Mechanicum , it had been built on  the property of warlords who allied with  the Emperor of Man in the Unification Wars.   What determined how wealthy  someone was in the Imperium of Man  was not the coin in their pockets or the valuables they  possessed, but their estate.  Whether it was few acres of farmland  or an entire planet.

The former Empress had not changed at all.  Physically she was just as beautiful and just as awe inspiring as she had been in the glorious days of the Great Crusade.   She wore the plain robes of a remembrancer  under a think tan cloak.   

“He’s having a bad day.” Arlette said.

“They’re all bad days.” Valdor growled as he placed the medication on the table. He scoured the fridge, retrieving some  lamb chops and vegetables.

“Stan, the dosage is too low. This won’t last us a week.” Arlette said.

“I’m working on  it.” Stan said as he shoved the food into  the battered microwave.

“He claims to  be communicating with someone.” Arlette continued as the Microwave beeped.   Valdor removed his dinner and sat down.   

“Sure he did.” Valdor said as he grabbed a clean fork and knife and took  a bite of lamb.

“It was much  more detailed than his usual delusions.” Arlette said with a sad smile.    “He’s been asking questions. Trying to  read my mind.”

Valdor sighed,picked up  the medication, grabbed a syringe and made his way  to the tank outside their humble abode.

Time may not have been kind to  Constantin Valdor, but she had been a bitch  to  the Emperor of Mankind.

Former Emperor of Mankind that is.

Valdor still called him the Emperor.  Guilliman was not a legitimate ruler or regent and Valdor did not know his King’s real name.

“Is that you  Alistair?” The Emperor asked.  

The Emperor of Mankind’s mind was shattered.   The  betrayal of nine of his sons.  The death of  two that had stayed loyal and one of his closest friends.  His greatest work and the only hope for humanity’s salvation from the gods of Chaos ruined.. It had all been too much  for his mind to  bear.   The weight of that trauma, coupled with all his previous lives was a jumbled mess.  A hurricane of love and loss, victory and defeat.

The Emperor’s mind was just as broken, his body was a shattered mess.  He was missing his left arm and eye and he was now confined to  a wheelchair. His lustrous black  hair had gow silver and was now greasy and stringy.

Constantin stood before his king.  His king who just like him, was shell of their former self.  

“Make way sir.” The man who had once fought the Void-Dragon said.

“I said make way! Do you  know who I am you  wretched peasant! I am Lord Lionel Nevermoor!”

Constantin let his lord wheel himself around for a few minutes. Than he placed himself in front of him.

“Who are you?” The Emperor asked as Constantin rolled up his sleeve.

“You know who I am.” Valdor said.

“The man who puts me to sleep.”

“We could both use some sleep my king.” Valdor said. He raised the syringe.

“ No!” The Emperor said.  He grasped Valdor’s arm  with a surprising amount of strength.   The two grappled for a minute   The Emperor tumbled out of his wheelchair.

‘What are you doing to me?” The Emperor wailed.

“My king please-

Golden light surrounded the Emperor as a pulse of psychic power rang through  the air.  

Valdor groaned in agony.   He strained against a tidal wave of power.  His adamantium bones creaked.  

He pressed onwards the needle descending in slow motion.   Valdor prayed to  half forgtton deites that his King’s  malfunctioning mind’s power would not shatter him and reduce him to  paste.

The needle punctured flesh and in  a second the pulse of warp energy faded.

Silence filled the  tank.

Valdor picked up his liege and  placed him in his bed.    He pulled a comforter over the Emperor, than placed two pills in his trembling hand.  Valdor  opened a bottle of water and poured it into  a cup.

“What are these?” The Emperor questioned.

“The shot’s mellow the seizures  The pillows keep them from happening.” Valdor stated.

“You  want to  blow on them?” Valdor said, trying to  cage his frustration.

“Fuck off Constantin.”  the Emperor of Mankind said.  He held out his hand for the cup of water.

“So you remember who I am.”  

“I always remember who you  are Constantin. It’s just that I sometimes I don’t recognize you.”  The Emperor said after he took the pills and placed the empty cup of water on the nightstand..  

“Leaving my alone with that fracking wench that looks like Arlette. Like I don’t know what speciation is.” The Emperor mumbled.

“A what?” Valdor questioned.

“There’s a Ligo Aetos.   A young one. The XIIIth and his sons want her.  She needs our help.”

“Well it's too bad you’re not in that business anymore my King.” Valdor said as evenly as he could.  He wished the cold feeling in his blood would go away.

“It’s not my help  they  want, it's yours Stan.  That’s how stupid they  are.  They’re waiting for you.  At the Statue of Ishtar.”

“The Statue of Ishtar  was a long time my king.  A long time.” Valdor said.   He remembered that day  like it was yesterday.  The first battle he had fought in as a Custodian.  The first battle the Emperor of Mankind and Arlette Amon Augusta Rakaposhi Gorro, the Khatun of Caucuss Stps  fought side by  side against the techno--barbarians  that would not bend their knee to  them.

“There hasn’t been any Ligo Aetos in Twenty Five years.  No Sisters of Silence either.” Valdor  stated.

“Impossible.” the Emperor of Mankind.   He bit his lip and studied the empty sleeve where his arm was.

“You always thought humanity had a destiny my King.  Maybe you  were wrong.  Maybe humanity was a mistake.”

“What a disappointment you’ve become.” the Emperor said.  

“When I found you  you  were pursuing a career as a blade for service in the Khatun of the Caucuss Step’s horde.  You were little better than an ork.  But I took you in.  Turned you into something better.  Gave you  a family.”

“They’re gone now.” Valdor said barely holding back  the snarl that almost escaped his lips.

Valdor turned to  leave.

“Constantin, what did you do?” the Emperor asked.

“Answer me! I command it! Why are we here?  Is Arlette safe?  Where’s Malcador and Jenetia? Where are Rogal and Sanguinius? Where’s Jaghati?   Answer me Janus! ” .

Valdor opened the door.

“Not even an Eldar should have to live like this! Drugged and kept in a tank!”

“It’s for your own good!” Valdor snapped.  The anger he was holding back  pouring into  the five words that left his chapped lips.

“No it’s not! You’re waiting for me to die!  You betrayed me like Horus did!” The Emperor wailed.

The door slammed shut and the Master of Mankind was left alone to babble in  a million forgotten tongues, His only company the ghosts of a million lives.

The passing train  shook the glass of whiskey on the desk.   Valdor ignored it, for he was occupied with  pulling out one of his claws that had failed to  fully extend.   Blood dripped from the adamantium talon to  mix with blood that had stained the floor yesterday.  He grunted in pain as it finally fully extended.

Valdor studied the claw for a minute.  Than the former Custodes stared at  Veracity.  The beautiful silver greatsword was the only clean thing in the room.  It was the only thing Valdor had taken with him when he fled the Imperial Palace with Arlette and the Emperor.   

What would you  think of us now Jen?  Our King, now a paraplegic madman whose power could wipe out everyone on the Throneworld.  Arlette, once the woman who  ruled alongside the Master of Mankind, now playing nursemaid?  What would you think of me? The Captain-General of the Legio Custodes, The sun to your moon?  Now a drunk, dying old man?   What would you think of the Imperium you helped build?  Guilliman hasn’t ruined it yet but he will.

By all the forgotten God’s and Goddesses why  does a piece of grox-shit like me draw breath while your bones lie cold and left to rot by  the Ultramarines?

Constantin Valdor fell asleep that night the same way  he always did.  Half-drunk and in indescribable emotional and physical pain.

[onehandedbooks]

Folie à Deux- part two- flash fic. Flash-ish. Longer than expected.

How does one solve a problem like Will Graham? Chef!Hannibal responds to FoodCritic!Will’s terrible review

Folie à Deux- part two

A tall cadaverous man in a burnished black tuxedo strolled across the newsroom floor as though it was a perfectly commonplace thing for him to be doing. Clicking keyboards went silent in a wave as the man passed. He questioned an intern who directed him to Will’s half-wall cubicle. He stopped beside Will’s desk and waited.

Beverly, the paper’s fashion editor, had the cubicle to Will’s left, her desk just on the other side of his. She was absorbed in her partially finished column on New York Fashion Week and didn’t immediately notice the newsroom fall quiet. As the strange hush spun out, the hairs on the back of her neck started to stand up, and she glanced around, curious.

Beverly’s eyes went wide and her mouth hung slightly open when she spotted the grave man stooped slightly over Will’s desk, waiting for Will’s attention. He was still and silent. Hands folded behind his back like a cartoon butler. He looked as if he’d be content to wait all day if that’s what it took for Will to finally notice him. Beverly was not content to wait all day.

She looked at Will over the short steel and fabric divider between their desks and cleared her throat. Again, a little louder. When Will made no move to acknowledge the bizarre arrival, she scooted her chair around to his side of the cubicle and rapped his ankle sharply with the point of her shoe.

Will yanked his earbuds out and swiveled around to face her. “The hell, Bev? I’m working on the Marseilles review here.”

Beverly gave him a meaningful look and jerked her chin dramatically at the eerie man now leaning quite a ways over Will’s desk and directly into his space.

“Uh, you have company?”

Will pushed his chair back and stood cautiously, doing his best to back away quickly without provoking the man. Sometimes people got angry about his reviews, that was true. He’d had his share of trolls in his Twitter feed, nasty emails, a letter to the editor once, but no one had ever sent Lurch’s older brother after him.

“Mr. Will Graham?” the man asked. “Food critic for the Baltimore Times?” His voice was deep and resonant, like a gong at the bottom of a well.

Will raised an eyebrow. “That’s me.”

The man’s thin arm shot out and Will flinched, but rather than anything dangerous, he was holding a thick ivory envelope.

“A message for you, sir,” the man intoned.

Will raised his arm without thinking and the man pushed the envelope into his hand. Will’s fingers closed around it automatically.

“A very good day to you, Mr. Graham,” the man said and departed the way he’d come, cutting a swath through the still stunned journalists like a skeletal black stork and dragging silence after him like a wake.

As the main doors shut behind the mysterious messenger, the newsroom slowly came back to life- keys clacking and coffee percolating. Scratching pens and the sound of a dozen voices reading their columns out loud to test the fit of the words. Someone yelling about the interns again.

The envelope hung lax from Will’s startled fingers and Beverly took it off him. Will blinked, a little dazed, and watched her examine it.

“Feels expensive,” she said, running her fingers over the paper. She held it under her nose with a little grin. “Smells expensive.” She turned the envelope over. On the back was a gold foil monogram- the letters HL in a curlicued box- and the name of the restaurant- folie.

“Ummm…,” she started, holding the envelope out to him with the tips of her fingers, the accusatory golden brand facing him.

“Oh no,” Will groaned.

He took the envelope from her, slid his finger under the flap, and opened it. Inside was a single ivory card marked with navy ink in a fine copperplate hand. It read,

Dear Mr. Graham,

     I am a great admirer of your work, your review of my flagship restaurant Mind Palace was quite flattering, and I sense we may have gotten off on the wrong foot with my new venture. I was deeply distressed to read of your poor dining experience on Monday and I wonder if I might make it up to you. If you’re not otherwise engaged, I would appreciate the pleasure of your company for dinner at folie this Friday night. 8 p.m. sharp. I look forward to seeing you.

Sincerely,

H. Lecter

Will’s mouth tightened. The note was phrased like a request, but it felt more like an order. 8 p.m. sharp. There was no information on how to decline and Lecter’s man certainly hadn’t waited around for an answer.

“Jealous!” Beverly exclaimed, reading the note over his shoulder. “Isn’t Friday folie’s official opening gala?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure.”

“Do you think he’s inviting you to that? Are you gonna go?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?  Why would he invite me though? It’s not like I can take back the review I already published. Not that I would anyway.  And I don’t write up parties.  That’s Freddie’s jurisdiction.”

Bev’s smile softened a little at Freddie’s name and she glanced across the newsroom at the pretty redhead dictating a scandalous blind item into her microrecorder.

Will rolled his eyes at her.

Beverly blushed, then gave Will a challenging stare, daring him to say something.

Will put his hands up and shrugged, placating.

Beverly brushed the shoulder of her jacket off, triumphant.

“Anyways,” she continued. “He obviously wants to apologize for the bad meal. It might be fun to see him grovel.”

Will was clearly skeptical. Beverly pushed on.  

“What’s the worst that could happen, you have to socialize for a few hours? With actual people?”

“I socialize with you. You’re actual people,” Will retorted.

Beverly crossed her arms and stood in her practiced big-sister pose. “It’s probably going to be amazing. Free booze. And his food is to die for.”

“folie’s wasn’t,” Will snarked.

“As much as I love Ostentatious Avocado with all of my heart, it may be my favorite of all your reviews, you know that had to be an off night,” she scolded him. “And you know you should have gone back again to make sure before writing that hit piece.  But, you wanted to take him down a peg.”

“I didn’t,” Will protested automatically. “That was a fair assessment!”

Beverly waited.

“He was getting totally unwarranted kiss-ass advance reviews from everyone, Bev! “ Will argued. “He didn’t earn them. It’s just because Mind Palace was excellent and now everyone wants to interview him and get his recipes and his restaurant advice…”

Will sat on the edge of his desk and took his glasses off, poking them in her direction to underline the point. “And he’s so arrogant already. With his arrogant face everywhere.  Every cooking show… .” He trailed off. “What?”

“You watch him on the cooking shows?”

“What? No.”

Beverly looked at him calmly. He stared back at her.

“All right I’ll go.” he huffed.

*             *             *

Hannibal tied his pristine white apron around his waist and poured himself a glass of Burgundy. Having disposed of poor Mr. Gideon, who was clearly not up to the challenge of folie’s unique vision, Hannibal got to work on the gala menu. He set a stack of clippings of Will’s prior reviews on the counter beside his recipe box and his Rolodex and tuned the kitchen stereo to a live broadcast of Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No.4 from the Baltimore Symphony Opera.