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#do you know how many times by now i've rewatched the other two
fantasticalleigh · 29 days
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i'm a simple being. any time the wwe youtube channel releases a new punk vs mcintyre video package ahead of the next ple, my day instantly gets better.
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maddy-ferguson · 24 days
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shows i've watched the most:
4. new girl (x7)
3. teen wolf (x4-11 depending on the season)
2. glee (x8)
1. gilmore girls (x16.5)
i don't know why i wrote it like this because i don't know where i should actually put teen wolf
#just letting you know#and like i say: brf slt#i'm in the midst of my 17th gilmore girls rewatch. watch. my 16th rewatch#i've actually also seen mtv scream 7 times that's crazy#it's only two seasons like 22 episodes so it feels very different the others are all over 100 episodes#(well no teen wolf is exactly 100 episodes)#that's why i'm not putting it. i didn't even think of it i just remembered it and checked...but i'm telling you now#with teen wolf it's like. i rewatched it every december from 2019 to last year last year was my last rewatch i think i made a post about it#and the first time after i was done with season 6 i was like i want to rewatch the first seasons so bad they're so fun so i did that i#watched the first three seasons again and then there's years where i rewatched everything once and then season 3 again and i really don't#fuck with season 6 so at one point i was like why am i putting myself through this. i can literally stop doing this it doesn't even matter#i've already seen it plus i'm watching season 3 again after that anyway#i think the only other show i've seen more than twice is grey's anatomy? not in full but there's a lot of episodes from the first 10 season#s#i've seen 3 to 4 times. for all my other shows it's probably only 2 times#wait lie i've seen all of stranger things more than 3 times. but it's so short and i've seen season 1 a lot more than i've seen season 4#and that's obviously also the case for tw but it's not the same...there's only like 35 episodes or however many there are#there aren't even 35 episodes there's 34#i've seen season 1 six times. which isn't 'a lot more than how many times i've seen 4 if i've seen all of them more than 3 times'.#ngl. i actually don't know how many times i've seen a lot of teen wolf episodes like these are my numbers on tvst but i actually can't#count so i have to trust my past self who also couldn't count. but if it's not 4-11 it's 4-10 or 4-12 idk...there's episodes i've seen 15#times it happens#it hasn't happened for any other show it's just tw and gilmore girls. but they're so different i never watch just one gilmore girls episode#by itself. except twenty-one is the loneliest number when i turned 21#actually my most rewatched teen wolf episode is probably closer to 20 than it is to 15. and you would never guess what it is. it's#insatiable! i love it. hold still don't fight hold still <- only real insatiableheads will understand this#insatiable probably taught me the word insatiable both in french and in english i was like 13#i hope you won't judge me for being a wolfie🙏
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Are You Sure?! - Episode 7 Observations
9.5/10 ☆
Something clicked for me in the latest AYS?! episode. After years of following these two people and getting excited for any interaction or information regarding them, it was now perhaps the first time when watching them felt like not witnessing something special. Oh, I know how this sounds, but it's not what you think and I will explain.
When I say it didn't feel special I meant that nothing felt like a novelty. You know how shocked and excited we all became when Jimin called Jungkook during a birthday wlive? Or the collective metaphorical screaming on social media every time one would get close into the other one's space in some behind the scenes clip? That reaction for me was also a result of having to see that in a larger context in which jikook were not always the main focus.
Now with AYS?! and seven episodes in, I'm used to basically everything. The evening and morning routine, the soft talking, the flirting, the playfighting, the way they eat together. The nakedness and all the tattoos on display. I've developed a tolerance to it. And episode 7 really helped in cementing that. Yeah, they're half naked in a hot spring. Of course they are. They're brushing their teeth and do their morning skincare routine together. Of course they are. Jungkook buys the snacks and Jimin is in charge of feeding him. Of course. They laugh at the same things and everything is funny when they're together. Of course they do. They're playfighting again? Why would anyone be surprised at this point?
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And I love that we got here. It's everything I wanted without ever thinking that it could be possible. It is extremely satisfying and fun to watch them. It has always been, but AYS?! was an open window into their lives together in a way that it hadn't happened before.
Sapporo is a special segment for many reasons. And as much as it's fun to see them have a good time, the impending military enlistment looms like a shadow over their trip. Jungkook is the one who seems intentional in talking about it in a way that makes light of the situation, while Jimin is more on the silent side.
But all this inevitably made me think of a downside. Because how am I suppose to go back to waiting for an aknowledged look while Jimin and Jungkook would sit at opposite ends in an interview setting? Or not doing a wlive together? Getting minimal interactions because there's 5 other people there? It would feel like something is not right. Jimin and Jungkook come in a package and they do everything together. They laugh and never get bored together. Jungkook cooks for Jimin while Jimin fills the exact needed space and purpose in that kitchen. Jimin can talk about learning to snowboard with Jungkook's friends and that conversation to remain between them and no one else. They can take showers together and then act like stupid boys in some endurance contest in the freezing water and it's their own thing and theirs only.
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AYS?! Sapporo is bittersweet. For Jimin and Jungkook because as much fun they have, they know that their remaining time of freedom is getting to a close. Snow is beautiful there and they are together, but in a few weeks whatever sentiment that might evoke will be in the back of their minds when their reality will be completely different. That's why making those last minute memories together was so important. And they knew that and Jungkook felt the need to say it out loud. Like a constant reminder of how special those few days were.
And it's bittersweet for me too. While there's always the option of rewatching, who knows when such an opportunity (and privilege) will arise once again? Maybe never. Maybe AYS?! will be the first and last time to be able to take a peak through that window at their life...
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skiller0dani · 2 years
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Touch | Kaz Brekker
M A S T E R L I S T Other Masterlist Shadow and Bone Masterlist
smut | mutual masturbation requests info w.c | 4.4k summary | Kaz is convinced you're angry with him, angry enough to leave him. Despite Jesper's reassurance, Kaz is utterly convinced you're about to leave him. He sends Inej to spy on you, he needs to understand what he did wrong...so he can win you back.
I've only read half of Six of Crows and have seen Season 1 of the show (rewatching it before I watch Season 2). So I apologize if I get things wrong Lore-wise. If I do get something wrong, please feel free to help correct me so I don't get it wrong again. I don't know much about Ketterdam or about the correct terminology about how to describe Ketterdam, please be patient and bear with me while I'm learning.
Possible part 2? ;)
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You were angry with him, Kaz was sure of it.
He didn't know what he said or what he did, but he knew he did something. You had been avoiding him, tucking yourself away in the back corners of the Crow Club, or running off with Jesper. You usually spent most of the day wherever Kaz was, in his office, or lounging in your shared bedroom until Kaz needed you. The two of you had been together for about a year now, and he knew you better than you knew yourself. That's how he knew you were angry with him, and by the lack of attention you were giving him you must be really angry with him. It made his stomach churn uncomfortably.
Jesper, who happened to be your closest friend, tried to reassure Kaz that you weren't upset with him but Kaz didn't believe him. Surely if you weren't angry, you'd tell him that yourself. Yet you sent Jesper to talk to Kaz on your behalf, had he really screwed up to the point of receiving the silent treatment? What on Earth had he done? Was he spending too much time away from you? There was a rather complex job he had been swept up in recently, along with someone with sticky fingers skimming from the pot. Or worse, were you finally becoming impatient with his touch aversion? Despite being together for as long as you two have been, he has yet to touch you at all. Not even a light kiss, nothing.
Kaz has briefly opened up to you about Jordie, about the firepox, and of course about Pekka Rollins. You knew why Kaz couldn't bear the feel of skin, but maybe you finally had enough. He knew you had sexual needs not being met, knew you were quite promiscuous before you had begun dating him. He felt insecure about that sometimes, about how it felt like you were sacrificing something to be with him. What if the sacrifice wasn't worth it anymore? Were you cheating on him? No, you wouldn't do that. You were many things but cruel wasn't one of them, Kaz has never known you to do a single cruel thing to anybody.
Still the fear kept clawing at the inside of his head, is that why you were spending so much time away from him? Why you kept sneaking off with Jesper? Did Jesper know about this? Was he covering for you? Kaz knows that Jesper is quite promiscuous himself, in fact that's how you met Jesper. A exciting night on the town before you had joined the Crows, which led you to Jesper's bed. Of course, the two of you realized you had no romantic or sexual chemistry and opted instead to see what trouble you could get up to in Ketterdam. That's how you ended up meeting Kaz, Jesper had brought you to him when you were in need of work. You joined the Crows, and the rest is history.
Despite how hard he tried not to, Kaz fell in love with you. He didn't show it, or say it really other than the one time he did say it. But he thought you knew, that's how you two worked. Neither of you required words or actions to know how you felt, but maybe Kaz had been wrong. Was he neglecting your needs? Did you feel satisfied and loved by Kaz? Were you seeking companionship and affection elsewhere? He couldn't stop his mind from spiraling, it was beginning to impact his ability to run the Crow Club. He often found himself distracted when his eyes landed on the empty spot you usually occupied next to him. It's what led him to seek out Inej, and ask her to do something he wasn't particularly proud of.
"You want me to what?" Her voice was incredulous, you were also a close friend of Inej's. She didn't feel right spying on you, and the seriousness in Kaz's gaze unnerved her.
"I need to know if...if she's seeing somebody else." Kaz explained, his head hung low and his gloved palms pressed flat against his desk.
"She isn't." Inej states firmly, she knows you're head over heels for Kaz. You've been utterly enamored by Kaz since you first laid eyes on him.
"She's been distant. Is asleep before I come to bed and is gone before I wake up. Spends more time with Jesper than she used to, hardly looks me in the eye. Something is wrong. I've done something. I've driven her away somehow, I need you to tell me who she's been seeing." Kaz says, his teeth gritting at the thought of someone else touching you, seeing your bare skin. Kaz needs to know who he is... so they can talk. Inej can't help but admit that your behavior has been odd lately, though she still doesn't think you're cheating on Kaz.
"Kaz-"
"She's going to leave me. It's a matter of time. Can I count on you to do this for me?" Kaz interrupts, this isn't a discussion. It's not something he's keen on discussing in depth either. He just needs to know. Kaz knows he's being unfair, he can see the way Inej has always looked at him. He feels guilty for taking advantage of her affections for him to ensure she spies on you, but he can't last another second without knowing.
"Yes, of course. I'll report back to you once I've learned who he is." She's out the window before Kaz even hears her move. He sucks in a shaky breath, he loves you. More than he's comfortable with if he's being honest, and the thought of you leaving him for someone who's comfortable touching you makes him angry enough to kill whomever the man is on sight. Angry enough to beat him until he's bloody and damn near unrecognizable. Kaz is a bastard of the barrel after all, they don't call him Dirtyhands for no reason.
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Inej has been shadowing you for most of the day. You spent most of the day with Jesper, gambling, having drinks, searching for trouble. You had spent a bit of time quietly talking with Jesper, but the two of you know better than to talk loudly. You know spies like Inej exist, Kaz made sure to teach you how to keep your voice hushed. There was a pained look on your face as you sat with Jesper outside a pub. He had one of his classic warm expressions on his face, the one he uses to coax the truth out of you. He'd been victim to Kaz's anxious pestering and had decided to confront you about it. Inej hugged one of the nearby roofs, and tried to get close enough to listen.
"You can't tell anybody this Jes, I'm not joking." You say seriously and he nods instantly, scooting closer to you as your voice drops. You'd been having a problem lately, one you desperately wanted Kaz to fix but knew he couldn't.
"C'mon you know I wouldn't blab your secrets." He says with a playful smile, doing his best to ease your nerves. Jesper has also noticed you were spending more time with him than usual, but never questioned it because you were practically his sister. He loved spending time with you, but had begun to wonder if your relationship with Kaz was struggling. His concerns only heightened once he noticed how wound up Kaz seems to be about it.
"Is...everything okay with Kaz?" Jesper asks carefully, watching the look of disdain cross onto your face. Inej strains her ears, only catching Kaz's name.
"Yes. No. I don't know. It's all my fault." You push your head into your hands, feeling your entire body flush. The reason you'd been spending so much time with Jesper wasn't because you're angry with Kaz, it's because you feel no sexual attraction to Jesper. You could finally relax around him, being with Kaz all day has slowly gotten more and more difficult. You find yourself following the lines of his body with your eyes, the space between your legs dampening when you see Kaz's jaw tense or his fingers curl around his cane. He was driving you mad, you needed him so badly it was hard to think about anything else. You craved Kaz but you know you can't ask him to help with this particular problem...he isn't ready yet. That's fine, you'll wait forever if that's what it takes, but you don't want him to feel like he's neglecting you. Which is why you'd been avoiding him.
"Talk. What's bugging you? You're really starting to freak Kaz out." Jesper says softly, tilting his bottle back to swallow the alcohol inside it. Your heart sinks.
"I am? Shit." You didn't think he noticed with how busy he's been lately. Clearly he paid more attention to you than you originally thought. "Nothing is wrong, really. I'm just...frustrated."
"Why? What has he done?"
"No Jes, I'm frusrtated." You say, cheeks heating once the look of realization crosses onto his face. He chuckles.
"Oh. A year of unexpected celibacy hasn't done you any good has it?" Jesper teases, and you reach over to shove him. Inej is only catching pieces of the conversation, but the word 'celibacy' stands out like it's been outlined in neon lights. Okay, so if Jesper is teasing you about being celibate, you're clearly not cheating on Kaz.
"The first thing you need to do is be honest with Kaz. He's starting to spiral, I think." Jesper says and you feel guilt surge through you like you'd been dumped in cold water. You didn't want to worry Kaz, you just didn't want him to feel guilty for something that isn't his fault.
"Second thing you need to do is figure out a way Kaz can help you get off without having to touch you." Jesper says, as if that's the easiest thing in the world. Your cheeks color red, and you take the bottle out of Jesper's hand to take a drink. Inej definitely heard that, the more drunk you two get the less careful you are. She slinks back over the roof, knowing that she no longer needs to follow you.
"How on Earth can Kaz make me cum without touching me?" You know you should probably feel more bashful talking to Jesper about this than you do, but the first time you met him you nearly had sex with him. He's seen your entire body bare and it was halfway through the evening that the two of you came to the conclusion that it just wasn't working for either of you. Thus is the reason why you're probably more comfortable with Jesper than you should be.
"Two words my naïve friend, mutual masturbation. That way both of you can get your rocks on without having to touch each other." Jesper says, sly smile making its way onto his face once he sees the gears turning in your head.
"I am not naïve." You complain, drawing a laugh from Jesper.
"You know if Kaz ever finds out we spoke about this, he'll kill you." You mention and Jesper rolls his eyes.
"I'd like to see him try, gonna go talk to him now?" Jesper asks and you stand with a sigh.
"Yeah, I can't make him worry any longer."
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Kaz was pacing back and forth in his office the entire time Inej was gone. He barely heard her re-enter through the open window, and when he laid eyes on her the first thing he noticed was her flushed complexion.
"Well? Who is he?" He asked expectantly, his heart already sinking in his stomach. She caught you sleeping with another man, that's why she looks so bashful. Why she has a hard time meeting his eye. She caught you cheating on him.
"Kaz...she isn't cheating on you." Inej says finally, and Kaz feels his eyebrows pull together.
"No, that's the only logical explanation. She has to be. What did she do today?" He demands, not at all believing Inej.
"Went drinking with Jesper, and I overheard their conversation." She begins, and Kaz stays silent, urging her to continue. There's tension in his shoulders and on his face, though Inej doesn't really know how to explain what she heard.
"I think it would be better to let Y/N explain. Trust me when I say she isn't cheating, and she should be on her way here now." Inej says and as if on cue there's a knock on his office door. He turns to face Inej again, but she's already gone. Kaz turns to open the door, and is unsurprised when he sees you standing in the hallway with a guilty look on your face. He opens the door wider to let you in, and you enter his office quickly pacing in front of his desk. Kaz closes the door behind you, watching you with nervous eyes.
"My love, please talk to me." He hates pleading, hates how weak he sounds but he can't help it. He can see the distress on your face, can see the tension being held in your body. He wants to fix it, and for a second he goes to pull you against his chest. He wants to hold you, but he feels panic crawling up his neck at the thought of touching you. Curse Pekka Rollins for damaging him the way he has, for causing this rift in his relationship.
"Kaz I promise I didn't mean to make you worry. I still love you." You rush out, needing him to know that first. Some of the worry eases then, but the concern is still there.
"I love you too darling, what's wrong? Talk to me." Kaz pushes again, taking a step closer to you. His eyes study your face, your cheeks are flushed, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you nibble anxiously.
"I'm well...I just feel uh frustrated." You say, putting it the same way you described it to Jesper hoping that Kaz catches on as Jesper did.
"Are you angry with me, love?" Kaz asks and you want to kiss him all over his face when you notice the adorably confused look on his face.
"No, not that kind of frustrated." You try again, and Kaz's eyebrows pinch together. Finally you see a look of understanding dawn his features and your cheeks turn even darker. So he was partially right, your sexual needs are not being met and you've finally begun to feel wound up. Kaz knew this would happen eventually, he's been hoping you don't leave him because of it.
"B-But I have an idea... if you're up for it." You start carefully, and Kaz swallows thickly. He's not sure he's ready to touch you, he wants to, can feel the urge bubbling beneath his skin. But he isn't there yet.
"Sweetheart I'm not sure I can touch you just yet," Kaz begins gently, guilt on his face as his eyes soften.
"You don't have to, just hear me out...please?" You beg, and the needy look in your eyes nearly makes his knees buckle. You feel like you could combust at any moment, the heat coursing through you is suffocating. Kaz has seen you naked by now, but neither of you have ever done anything like this.
"You could make me feel good, b-but I'll be your hands. Your voice alone could make me cum Kaz." You say shyly, watching his eyebrows shoot up at your words.
"You could make yourself feel good too, w-we could do it together." You explain, watching warmth crawl up Kaz's neck. A look you don't recognize crosses onto Kaz's face, it makes your entire body feel boneless at the intensity in his eyes.
"My pretty girl wants me to help her masturbate? Is that it?" His voice is low, a near purr and it sends heat straight between your thighs. Kaz knows you need more from him, and if his voice is how he can help meet your sexual needs then he'll do it. He'll do damn near anything if you ask him to. You nod instantly, already feeling tingles going south.
"Sit on the couch." He says, his voice rough as he pulls his office chair out to sit down in front of his desk. Before he sits, he turns for his office door.
"Undress." His voice is commanding, as is his presence in the room. You feel your heart hammering against your ribcage as your shaky palms shed your clothing layer by layer. Kaz also closes and locks the window before he sits back in his office chair. His eyes drink up every inch of bare skin that is slowly being revealed to him. You sit back against the couch once your undergarments fall to the floor and you're naked before him. You feel nervous, but the heat in his gaze is enough to make arousal pool between your legs.
"Spread your legs for me my love, I want to see you." He says, his voice still holding its commanding tone. It was obvious that despite the fact that he isn't touching you he's still very much in charge here- totally in control of your pleasure. You do as he asks, shyly spreading your legs and revealing your glistening folds to him. Kaz feels his pants tighten at the sight of you, you're practically dripping onto his couch.
"My poor girl, look at you. Must have been in desperate need of release for days. You should have came to me sooner, love." Kaz says softly, his voice making your body heat up. You nod fervently, your skin buzzing and you haven't even begun touching yourself yet. Subconsciously you seem to have submit to him already, accepting that he's the one in control. That you can't do anything without his say so, you should have known that he would be domineering in bed.
"Show me how you touch yourself when I'm not around." Kaz instructs and you send him a bashful look. You've never had such a direct audience to such an intimate moment before, but there's nobody else you could imagine doing this for. You lean back comfortably against the couch, your eyes landing on Kaz and you seriously have to bite your lip to keep from moaning at the sight of him. He's lounging back in his office chair like a King sat upon his throne. His legs are spread, and there's an obvious bulge in his pants. His eyes are dark and lust blown, his gaze glued between your legs.
You snake a palm down your stomach, your fingers lightly teasing your clit causing you to throw your head back.
"Keep your eyes on me." Kaz demands and you can't help but obey. You lift your head to keep your eyes on him as your fingers swirl circles on your clit.
"Tell me what to do Kaz, please." You whine, and the desperation in your voice makes his dick twitch. You see him subtly adjust himself as your fingers continue to play with your clit and run down along your slit. Kaz swallows harshly, his mind feeling unfocused and all he can do is watch the way you play with yourself.
"Push one finger inside yourself love, just one." He says breathlessly, and you obey and push one lithe finger in. You moan softly, pumping your finger but it's not enough. Your hips wriggle against the couch and Kaz can see that you need more.
"Play with your clit darling, and keep pumping that finger." Kaz instructs and the smooth undertone of his voice is making shivers run down your spine. Your other hand rubs harsh circles on your clit, and you feel like the temperature in the room has risen at least 10 degrees.
"You are breathtaking my love, an absolute vision." Kaz praises softly, he can't take his eyes away from your beautiful cunt. Your finger is wet with your slick every time it leaves your heat, and your lips are parted as soft moans escape you. He learned a long time ago that you like to be praised, that you crave those words of affection. He isn't big on being affectionate in public, but he usually compliments you every so often. If only to watch your cheeks darken and the goosebumps raise along your skin. He watches a shiver run down your spine at his words.
"You're doing so good my love, add another finger for me." Kaz says, and you push 2 fingers into your soaked cunt. Kaz palms himself through his pants, he's beginning to strain painfully against his pants.
"Kaz touch yourself, please I want to watch." You beg and Kaz swears in that moment he's died and gone to heaven. How could someone as beautiful and perfect as you be spread out naked on his couch? And yet he's still too afraid to touch you. He swallows thickly as he continues to watch you thrust your fingers into your cunt, and he's scrambling to open his pants enough to pull himself free. As soon as his cock is freed he's releasing a sigh of relief.
"Go faster my love, I want to watch you ruin that tiny little cunt." Kaz nearly pleads and you instantly pick up the pace, slamming your fingers into yourself. You moan again once you feel that coil winding in your stomach and heat sears through your entire body when you watch Kaz wrap a gloved hand around himself. You watch with lidded eyes as he begins to pump his shaft slowly, a soft groan escaping his lips. This is by far the most erotic thing you've ever done, and you've had your fair share of lovers before you begun dating Kaz.
"I'm- I'm gonna cum Kaz, can I? Please?" You ask, needing his permission before you let yourself release. Kaz growls softly, his own hand speeding up and jerking himself faster. He can see how fucked out you looked, he could hardly fathom how you'd look once he actually works up the courage to touch you.
"Yes sweetheart, cum for me. Look me in the eyes darling." Kaz says, and your eyes lock onto his as you feel your orgasm wash over you. You cry out softly, your body convulsing as you gush all over your fingers. Kaz feels his own orgasm creeping up on him as he watches you cum, you've never looked more beautiful. You suddenly get an idea and pull yourself onto your knees before him, making sure to keep your hands to yourself. You sit between his spread legs and look up into his eyes, blinking your doe eyes up at him makes him groan softly.
"Cum on my face." You say it so casually Kaz almost doesn't hear you. He feels heat sear through him once he registers what you've said, and he keeps quickly pumping himself. His head tosses back as the pleasure builds, but he can't help but pull his gaze back to you. You're waiting with your mouth open, eyes fixed on his.
"Fuck, you look so beautiful on your knees before me. Don't move my love, let me cum on your face." Kaz gasps, feeling his orgasm hit him suddenly. His chest heaves as white ropes of cum land on your face, mostly in your mouth. You hum happily as you swallow it down, wiping it off your cheeks and licking it off your fingers. Kaz watches with hooded eyes as you smile up at him, and then he does something you don't expect.
He leans forward and briefly presses his lips against yours to give you a quick kiss. It's quick, but its the first skin to skin contact with Kaz you've ever had. You beam up at him, and he's never seen you look happier than you did in that moment. He feels guilt seeping into his mind, has he really deprived you so much that a simple kiss brings you so much joy? Do you feel satisfied with him or is he damning you to a lifetime of longing for more? Kaz feels his skin prickling uncomfortably, but he leans down and presses a more firm kiss to your lips. He wants you to feel fulfilled. His lips move softly against yours until he feels nausea turn in his stomach and he pulls away. His heart is racing and he has to repeat to himself that it's just you, just you sitting naked in his office. He's safe, everything is fine. He has to repeat this to himself to keep the oncoming panic attack away.
All because of a simple kiss.
"Don't push yourself my love." You remind him softly as you lift yourself from the floor. He wants to reach out and take you in his arms, wants to press his face against the soft skin of your tummy. But he can't and he hates himself for it. Hates that you have to baby him and deprive yourself of the intimacy he knows you crave.
"Was this good my love, was it enough?" Kaz asks softly, hating how vulnerable he sounds. You turn, surprise on your face as you look at him.
"It was perfect Kaz, what's wrong?" You ask softly, reaching down to start pulling your clothes on.
"Are you happy with me? Am I fulfilling your needs?" Kaz tucks himself back into his pants and watches as you put your clothes back on. You look like a Goddess as you do.
"Kaz being with you has made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. You always make sure I want for nothing, where is this coming from?" You ask sadly, and your heart is breaking. How could he ever think he isn't enough for you as he is?
"You were sexually frustrated but didn't feel comfortable telling me because...because I can't touch you. Doesn't that bother you?" Kaz asks, hesitantly meeting your eye when you move to stand in front of him.
"Kaz...I just didn't want to make you feel bad. I don't mind that you can't touch me, I love you as you are." You reassure him but he still holds so much tension in his shoulders.
"You say that now. But can you handle not being touched...forever? I don't think you'll feel the same way 10 years from now." Kaz says, already having made his mind up on the matter.
"Kaz-"
"I want to take that step with you Y/N, I will overcome my...aversion...to ensure I meet all of your needs. Especially your sexual needs. Just be patient with me, please." Kaz says softly and you feel your heart swell at his promise. You nod with a soft smile, wishing you could wrap your arms around him and inhale his scent.
"I love you Kaz, always." You promise and you finally see the tension ebbing away from his shoulders.
"I love you darling."
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m1ssunderstanding · 7 months
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2
Prettyyyyy
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Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 
John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 
And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 
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I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.
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John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 
Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 
He looks like an abandoned puppy. 
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What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?
“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 
John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .
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George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 
Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?
The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?
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Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 
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But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 
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I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 
On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 
“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?
Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 
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Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 
“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)
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Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?
Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.
If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.
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Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?
He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 
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I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 
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217 notes · View notes
totallynotokguys · 22 days
Text
Lego Monkie Kid Rewatch: Special
Embrace You're Destiny Part 1/3
I like to imagine LBD didn't just put on eye shadow here. She's covered her entire face concealer, foundation, and make up. Employing every trick of the cometic trade to try and make herself look older.
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Also, look at our Not-the-Mayor. He so blissfully happy. I kinda want to show it to my non-lmk-fan friends to see what vibe they pick up from these two.
I forgot how wonderfully condescending this villain was with Wukong. Usually Wukong is the one that gets under people's skins. Its kinda fun to see the tables reversed.
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I need a stress toy that looks like that frog. Not so I can squeeze it.
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No. Rather so I can pat it lovingly and set it calmly on a lily pad within a tranquil pod where it can gaze up into the endless sky as if questioning the meaning of life.
These faces.
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I shall cherish these faces.
"You are the second most annoying person I know!"
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Friendship status achieved!
"Its an inter dimensional weapon with a destructive power to burn through the very fabric of reality."
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Inter dimensional? I didn't grasp the first time how outlandish and freaking scary that statement is. First, how does Red Son know this? Second, how did a little baby demon get born with a power from outside of their universe?
And does this mean it came from outside of Nuwa's order, that the Samadhi Fire is from or a part of chaos? Was it created by or snuck in like illegal contraband by the Nine-Headed Demon? What if the Samadhi Fire originally made/brought in by 9-guy to try and eat away the cycle so he could be free. But something about that plan back fired or failed and 9-Heads repurposed it in this later plan to help get the noodle gang and MK up to snuff defeating LBD for the future defeat of suped up Azure Lion. Was it them who put the fire in Red Son or was this an accident that got away from them which 9-snake-head found a way to work in their favour?
Love that Mei gives the same big glossy eyes of admiration for adorable puppies and over the top displays of power.
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She has a unique sense of whats cute in her book.
I love that when Mei is opening up to Red Son and expressing her fear of losing control and hurting everyone, he has a flashback of himself losing control, not being enough, hurting others.
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And then he tells her that that won't happen to her, because she and MK are protectors.
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I love this so much, you don't understand. Red Son recognises that he failed. He lost control and hurt others. But Mei didn't. Not because she is more powerful than him or because he is just too weak himself. No, because when he had the fire, he laughed and reveled in the consuming destruction, even as it hurt him. But when Mei got the fire, she despaired. She screamed her anger over those who had hurt her friends, and then cried because she understood how the fire was hurting those she cared about. There was no joy, just anguish.
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Mei is a protector, and that is what makes all the difference.
Red Son: 'Oh no! I was just emotionally vulnerable! Quick, act natural!'
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Starts lecturing.
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Wukong just brute forcing his way through her fancy protective spell work.
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No finesse. Just powerhouse.
Wait…. is that?
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I channeled my inner Macaque art skills for this one.
"I've known Sun Wukong a long time. He's not the loner he pretends to be."
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What truth! How many centuries did he sit in his cave with that mural of his pilgrim brothers staring down at him?
"He seems important to you, so I can only assume you're equally as important to him. If there is anyone who he needs right now, its you."
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How long has Nezha known this kid? And yet he is able to give the kid one of the most heartfelt and genuine pep talks I've heard all season. This is kinda what a good therapist is able to do. An outside perspective who knows just how to reach you in whatever mental state you are in from just a few interactions. They hear your fears, they see you're stress, and they equip you with the words and tools you need to keep fighting.
I know Most-Likely-Not-the-Mayor asked Wukong to dance, but it really feels like LDB and Not-Actually-Any-Kind-of-Mayor are the ones waltzing and Wukong is just the floor beneath their slippers. How expertly they move in time with one another! Probably-Jobless-and-Not-a-Mayor keeps Wukong busy then when his lady is ready, he just bats Wukong right into her waiting arms.
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He ducked.
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This floor is slippery.
Makeup gone! Wukong scared the eye shadow right off of her.
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You can talk all you want lady. I know you're not as sure of yourself as you say.
"What about this guy! Is he in you're future!
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"As a matter of fact. No."
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Ouch. this is why I love her. She does not care. Also, her makeup is back. Guess she's back to being cool and collected.
I know, Ne Zha. I know. I too would have left him in the hole.
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But MK is a different breed who wants to save everyone so don't you dare try and squash that kind heart of his. What a gem.
Although, knowing his original purpose was to sacrifice himself for the sake of all beings… then is this Mk being MK or is this him feeding into his ~Destiny~
I sense a lot more mental conflict in season 6 as MK wrestles with the question of what parts of his behaviour and actions is really him choosing his own path and what is him followoing the pre-writen coding Nuwa jammed in to make him the perfect sacrifice?
Another reminder that MK is not Wukong.
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MK took the time out of his mission to protected Probably-Doesn't-have-an-ID-or-Birth-Certificate-So-No-Way-Could-He-have-Ever-been-the-Mayor while Wukong is willing to sacrifice the life of this innocent girl to stop Lady Bone Demon.
This scene of Wukong getting possessed shows up in so many AMVs and art that I forgot about the creepy manic laughter that was going on in the background. Suddenly, a shot I'd seen over and over with epic music and rising vocals, became different.
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Thank you Victoria Grace for your chilling performance. You haunt the scene even when your not in focus.
New that bird was sus
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Its weird that Macaque has such a strong connection to MK this season. Like… first season MK was just a means to an end. Macaque didn't care one way about the kid. But this season… He's constantly trying to protect MK in his own messed up way. From trying to teach him a lesson because he thinks MK is too much like Wukong to goading MK into fighting back so if he can have an excuse for why he never brought the kid to LBD.
And now hanging around to pull him back in the nick of time. What changed? Why is Macaque putting his neck out there for MK when he is so quick to throw everyone else under the bus to protect himself?
I go back to season 5, when Macaque challenges Wukong about why chose MK as his successor, and Wukong says he was just drawn to the kid, that there was something in the kid that just felt right. Does Macaque feel that too?
Froggie!
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You're okay!
67 notes · View notes
charmingly-helpless · 6 months
Text
let's go home
A/N: heyyy... it's been a while (two years) since i've written something. life just got busy, but i hope you're all doing well. anyway, i've been rewatching criminal minds and got inspired to write this. i hope you like it!
pairing: season 6 Emily Prentiss x fem!Y/N
warnings: angst, toxic relationship, control issues, trust issues, canon character death, grief, (but everything is okay in the end)
word count: 2517
Read on AO3
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
"Where have you been?"
You dropped your bag to the floor and shrugged off your jacket, hanging it up.
"Out. How was work?"
Emily ignored your question, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall, watching you with curious eyes.
"Out with who?"
"No one, Em. Am I not allowed to leave this apartment?" You sighed.
"You never just leave without telling me where you're going or who you're with, don't give me an attitude."
You roll your eyes, heading to the bedroom. Emily stopped you.
"You're not going to bed without telling me where you've been."
"Why does it matter? You've been at work. I just wanted to get some fresh air," you threw your hands up in slight frustration. "You leave every morning, and I don't question you. Why can't I do the same?"
"Because I don't trust you!" Emily raised her voice. She blocked off your path, glaring at you.
You narrowed your eyes, steeling your composure to not show that her words had hurt you.
"Why not? I'm your girlfriend."
"And that means I should trust you just because we are dating? You've given me plenty of reasons not to trust you."
"Like what?"
Emily placed her hands on her hips, standing up straighter. "You've been secretive, you're too friendly with other women, you're always on your phone, you hide things from me."
Rage bubbled inside your chest. "Do you think you're a saint, Emily? You are no different from me. How many times have I tried to ask you about your day, just for you to shut down? How many times have I been tossed aside while you prioritize your work? How many hours have I spent waiting for you to come home, worrying that you were shot dead when you'd really just fallen asleep at your desk?"
Emily flinched, surprised by seeing you so angry, and how true your words were.
"Y/N, that's different. i'm just... busy all the time, or have classified information..."
You felt tears sting in your eyes.
"I can't do this anymore," you whisper.
Emily froze in place at your words, watching you grab a duffle bag from the hallway closet.
"What?"
You swiftly moved to the bedroom, feeling Emily follow behind you. You started packing a few essentials, deciding that you would come back later for more things.
"You know what."
"You're leaving?"
"I don't think you're ready to be in a serious relationship, Em. I saw the signs from the start, but I overlooked them because I liked you. But I can't put up with all the secrets, the lying, and the distrust anymore. I'm your girlfriend; I trust you more than I trust anyone in the whole world, and it hurts that you don't feel the same about me."
You wiped your tears.
Emily took a step forward, feeling a surge of panic.
"Sweetheart, listen, it's not like that... I..." she faltered, unable to think of anything that would fix this situation.
You waited for Emily to continue, but her silence was enough of an answer. You zipped up your bag and walked over to Emily, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.
"I love you, Em. But I can't stay here."
Emily's face briefly softened at your kiss, but her heart dropped as your departure started becoming very real.
"I-" Emily's voice cracked. "Can I talk to you? Please?"
You stopped by the door, considering your next words very carefully.
"I've given you so many chances to talk to me. If all it takes is for me to leave, then it's probably too late."
A wave of hurt crashed over Emily, even though she knew there was a truth to your words.
"I promise I'm ready to talk now."
You made the grave mistake to turn back, and one look at her sad brown eyes was convincing enough. Wordlessly, the two of you walked to the couch and sat down.
Emily took your hand, breathing a sigh of relief when you didn't pull away.
"I know I haven't been the best girlfriend over the past couple months, okay? I-I admit, I've been keeping some things from you, but you have to understand..."
"Understand what?" You voice was soft, but your tone harsh.
"Understand why I was keeping them from you, I just..." Emily sighed. "I was scared. Scared to tell you certain things."
You looked into her eyes. "Is something happening at work? Or is it something in our relationship?"
There was a moment of hesitation before Emily spoke.
"I-it's work-related, yes... and it's the reason I've been so... on edge."
"Does it have something to do with Ian Doyle?" You pieced together.
Emily froze, the name she never wanted you to know of coming out of your mouth.
"Where did you hear that?"
You sensed the anxiousness in her voice, and you knew you were treading on dangerous waters.
"I came home early one night, and I overheard you talking on the phone to someone. You sounded stressed out, I figured it had something to do with work."
Emily nodded slowly.
"I... H-how much of that did you hear?"
You shook your head, "Not much. Just a few names and details. 'Interpol', 'undercover', 'Lauren Reynolds.'"
Just hearing those words alone made Emily anxious.
"I need you to keep what you heard a secret, okay? Don't tell anyone, not even the team. Can you promise me that?"
"Yes, of course."
A wave of silence washed over the two of you. Emily fiddled with her fingers, but never took her eyes off yours.
"Emily, I don't have to worry about losing you, do I?"
Emily managed a small smile, holding your gaze for the longest time.
"No, you don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to let anything keep me away from you, Y/N. I promise."
It was like the storm clouds had finally parted, revealing a glimpse of blue skies above. For the first time in your year-long relationship, Emily had finally opened up to you about something.
You slowly moved in for a hug, giving Emily the chance to opt out if she wanted to. But she leaned into your embrace, hugging you with such intensity, as if you'd vanish if she let go of you. Emily had never been so scared to lose someone before, and she knew that she could never risk losing you ever again.
You were the first to break the silence.
"This can't happen again, Em. I need you to be honest and trust me. I value your feelings, and I don't want to lose you."
Emily nodded as you voiced her thoughts exactly.
"I know. I promise... There's, uh... one other thing I need to tell you about."
"What is it?" You pull away to look at her.
"I need to go somewhere tomorrow to deal with an issue from my Interpol days. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone..."
Emily stood up, walking over to the window and knelt down. She flipped up a floorboard, taking out a padded envelope.
"If I'm not back within a week, I want you to open this."
You took the envelope.
"What are you planning to do, Em?" your voice shook.
"It's just a precaution," Emily lied in order to not worry you. "There's a risk that comes with every mission I go on. I just want you to keep this for the future."
When you didn't reply, Emily took your hands into hers.
"I'm going to be fine."
You nodded, touching your forehead to Emily's.
"Will you stay? Come to bed with me?"
Emily's soft and vulnerable words sent an ache to your heart.
"Yeah."
The two of you settled into bed. You laid on your side, face to face with Emily. She leaned in to plant a kiss on your forehead, wrapping her arms protectively around you.
"I love you, Y/N.”
"I love you, too."
Long after you dozed off, Emily remained awake. She wanted to remember how your body molded perfectly against hers, the smell of your shampoo and how your hair tickled her nose, and how her heart beat differently when she was around you. She worried about how you would hold up if something happened to her. She tried to stay as still as possible to not disturb your sleep. After what felt like hours, she let sleep overcome her as well.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
The next day, you woke up to an empty bed. Emily had already left as she usually did, but this time it came with a heavy, lingering feeling. Of what, you weren't sure yet.
You sat up in bed and glanced at the alarm clock on Emily's bedside table, which told you that it was almost 12pm. You felt something on your forehead and you reached up to find it was a bright pink sticky note. You laughed, remembering how Emily used to leave notes stuck on your forehead if she woke up and left before you.
“Be home soon. I love you,” the note read in Emily’s cursive handwriting. You stuck it to the wall above your nightstand.
You had the day off from work, so you started your day of relaxation. A few hours later, a knock on the door jolted you out of your focus on a TV show you were binging. Your limbs protested as you stood up from the position you’ve been sitting in all day.
A familiar face stood behind the door.
“Andersen?”
Agent Andersen had a solemn expression on his face.
“Y/N, I regret to inform you that Agent Prentiss has been injured in the field. I’ve been sent by Agent Hotchner to bring you to the hospital.”
The world went silent as his words sunk in. This wasn’t the first time during your relationship that Emily had gotten injured, but it wasn’t the kind of thing that got easier every time.
The journey to the hospital was a blur. Before you knew it, you were in the waiting room. A heavy silence occupied the room as you and the team waited for an update.
Finally, the doors opened and you stood up, almost falling over until Rossi took your arm. With one look at JJ’s face, you knew your worst fears had come true.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
It’s been seven months since Emily died. Seven months since you attended her funeral. Seven months since you quit your job, packed your bags, and left town without telling anyone.
You’ve been living in a permanent state of anxiety and grief ever since Emily’s passing. You could barely register anything happening around you, not with the words “she never made it off the table” echoing in your mind constantly. You currently resided in New York with your friend, who was in their first year of residency and basically lived at the hospital, so you had the apartment to yourself a majority of the time.
You became vaguely aware of your phone ringing as you pulled yourself out of your daze. You were surprised and confused when the caller ID read Hotch’s name. The first month after your very sudden departure, your phone was bombarded with calls from each member of the BAU. As time passed and their calls kept going unanswered, they ceased their contact. Occasionally, you would get a few voicemails from Penelope who would update you on things happening in her life and to tell you that she missed you.
“Hi.”
“Y/N,” Hotch’s voice lifted in surprise. “I wasn’t sure if you would answer.”
You sighed.
“Well, here I am.”
“I’m…” Hotch trailed off for a second. “I’m calling because I need you to come back to Quantico.”
“Not interested.”
“I wouldn’t be asking if this wasn’t important, Y/N,” Hotch spoke quickly before you could hang up.
You thought about it for a moment.
“I’ve already sent the jet your way. JJ will meet you at the airport.”
You chuckle.
“I haven’t agreed yet.”
“I think you’ll want to be back here. Just trust me.”
The thought of reuniting with JJ and the rest of the team was tempting. You hadn’t realized how much you missed them all these months.
“Okay.”
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
JJ met up with you at the airport runway, pulling you into a tight embrace that you reciprocated. The two of you caught up with each other as the jet got ready for takeoff.
JJ sat up straight, her face becoming serious but still warm.
“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you before we land.”
You held her gaze, sensing a hint of anxiety in her voice.
“What is it?”
Just like seven months ago in that waiting room, the world stopped spinning when you heard JJ’s words. You sat like a statue as she recounted the events, from Emily’s transfer to Paris to the team taking down Doyle at last.
When you were unresponsive for too long, JJ gently touched your hand.
“Emily is alive?” you ask for confirmation, not believing what you heard.
“Yes.”
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
Your steps from the runway into the office were quick and frantic, even JJ had to try to keep up with you. Through the glass doors of the office, you made eye contact with Hotch.
“Emily’s alive? Where is she? Is she here?”
Hotch didn’t answer your rapid-fire questions, but he swiftly led you into his office. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you could hear each pump of blood.
The figure in the room turned around and you gasped when your eyes met brown ones that you thought you would never see again. The Emily that stood before you had small changes in her appearance, but she was still your beloved Emily.
Emily approached you slowly, as one might approach a scared puppy.
“Y/N.”
You let out a sob, diving forward and pulling Emily into your embrace. She held you, tenderly stroking your hair as you cried into her neck. Tears sprang into Emily’s eyes as she felt her heart begin to mend having you in her arms.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” Emily repeated softly. “I had to keep us safe until Doyle was captured. I’m so sorry I had to leave you, and that I had to lie to you.”
You shook your head, pulling away slightly to see her face.
“You had no choice, I understand. I’m just glad you’re here. I thought I lost you for good.”
“You’ll never lose me again,” Emily wiped a tear from your cheek. “These past seven months have been hell without you. All I could think about was how rocky our relationship had been in the months before I left. I promise you that I won’t let us go back to that. It’s not going to be easy, and I have a lot of issues to work through, but I’m going to put in the work. I trust you wholeheartedly, Y/N.”
You smile at her words, feeling that things will be different this time around.
“That means a lot to me, Em.”
Emily tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cradling your chin in her hand.
“Let’s go home, okay?”
“Let’s go home.”
135 notes · View notes
tripleglitchwriting · 8 months
Note
I saw that the request is open, so I thought. How about a first contact au with rotb optimus? I've always liked that old bot haha
Hell yeah I rewatched the movie for this. Sorry it took longer for me to actually write this than I anticipated 😅
Some Things Are More Important
CW: Unintentional fearplay, calling a person “it” (also unintentionally)
Ah, the junkyard. A beautiful array of scrap metal glinting under the sun day after day, perfect for welding and crafting. For the longest time the atmosphere of the place put you off, but your drive to create overtook your fear and replaced it with passion.
The day your life changed was no different than any other. You took your time packing your things, preparing to scavenge once again, though the evening sun was already threatening to advance further down the sky. You didn’t need much, it wasn’t a far trip and certainly not a difficult one. You left in good time, pushing down the uneasy feeling you got when you stepped outside the house.
There was a specific piece of metal you were looking for, one you saw a couple days ago but wouldn’t fit in your cart due to how full it had been. It was the perfect size and shape for what you needed, of course you had to leave behind the one thing you needed now, though it couldn’t hurt to pick up some other materials while you were at it. Masterfully navigating your way through the junk was a special talent of yours, one you were quite proud of, so it struck you as odd when a random truck showed up in the middle of the yard.
It was red and blue, one of those trucks that carried huge cargo boxes and were scary to drive next to. It was pretty beat up, though you can’t imagine why someone would leave it here of all places rather than a used car lot or something. Well, you thought, it wasn’t your problem, so you didn’t treat it as such. You simply continued your search. There were so many great pieces of metal, you ended up staying there until dusk, yet you still couldn’t find the one you were looking for.
Now that you think about it, it must’ve been where that truck was now. Maybe somebody moved it, or worse, took it. It would be a huge bummer to lose such a perfect piece to your puzzle, so you figured staying out to look near the truck wouldn’t hurt anybody.
After around ten minutes of picking through trash, you heard a sound. It wasn’t particularly loud, but it was unnerving to say the least. It sounded like metal scraping together so you brushed it off as the wind blowing on some light metal or something. Five minutes later it happened again, this time louder. Not long after it happened again, and by now you were getting pretty freaked out.
Taking metal from the scrapyard wasn’t particularly illegal, after all you’d learned how to do it properly from your law-abiding friends, however it came with a certain set of risks. Getting cut by rusty metal, stepping on a stray nail, or even getting robbed by someone who preys on scrap pickers like yourself. You didn’t want to know what the sound was and you weren’t about to find out, perfect piece be dammed. It was time to cut your losses.
You didn’t take two steps before it happened.
A strange, mechanical, alien sound rattled from behind you. You whipped your head around despite your survival instincts telling you to run immediately. Before your very eyes the red and blue truck started pulling itself part, little pieces forming a much, much larger figure. It looked nearly human really, if not for being impossibly large and also a robot truck.
A gobsmacked look etched itself on your face, not that you noticed it. You were a little preoccupied at the time, with the giant robot reaching a giant robot hand at you. Just then you realized there was a giant robot hand reaching at you, and you screamed louder than any horror movie victim ever could. The hand froze for a second, taken aback by your sudden noise, but when you remained frozen it continued its pursuit.
It was already too late by the time your body agreed to let you move. Incomprehensibly large fingers wrapped around your comparatively small form, gripping you tight enough to stop any struggles you tried to make. The thing held you up to its face, bright blue eyes shining like headlights in your vision. There were plenty of words that came from your mouth at the time, none of which were at any point comprehendible. To your utter shock, the robot seemed to notice this.
“Perhaps I have downloaded the wrong language pack… or I have found the wrong species…” It said to itself in a distinctly human voice.
“Wh- what the- what are- what are you?” Hooray! You got a sentence out. Your heart was not as excited though, as it felt more like it was going to pound out of your chest.
“So you can speak.” The voice boomed, knocking any hope you had of replying out of your throat.
“What?? What???” You rasped out, two words was better than none, you supposed.
“Did I… break you?”
“Did you- no, no you… didn’t. Please don’t.”
“I do not intend to bring you any harm, little one.“
“Then… stop squeezing… me” The grip immediately loosened. You took in a deep breath of air. “Thank you…”
“My sincerest apologies, I did not mean to hurt you.”
“That’s good to know… but, um, what exactly are you? I asked it before but… you know.” The robot nodded with you, a thoughtful motion but a generally unwelcome one because even the smallest moments it made caused you a bout nausea.
“Yes, introductions. My name is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots.” Optimus Prime… a strange name. Though it’s not like your current situation was any more normal.
“…I’m Whyen, nice to meet you. Could you… put me down, by any chance?” Optimus nodded, gently setting you down. He stood up again, but realized how much you had to crane your neck up to see him, so he resolved to a kneel.
“What are you.” However tough he looked on the outside, you would feel the sheer curiosity oozing off his voice.
“Uh, I’m a human.”
“Human… and you’re the dominant species on this planet?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“I see. I was lucky to find a vehicle mode with your language on it.”
“I… don’t really know what that means but ok. So, what are you?”
“I am Cybertronian, from the planet Cybertron.”
“Huh. Another planet.” You kicked by the oncoming existential crisis in hopes of more answers. “Right… so, if you’re from space, why are you here?” His face suddenly shifted from curiosity to a grim look of remembrance.
“There is a war on my planet. Me and my team have ended up here on accident, I’m afraid.”
“Oh… well, I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be, I have no intention of staying here longer than we have to, doing so could endanger this entire planet.”
“Wait, what? The- all- the whole planet?”
“Yes,” He responded in a low, distant voice. “Our enemies, unlike us, would not hesitate to destroy any planet if it meant winning the war.” You started at him in shock. In an attempt to avoid further panic, you decided to take a different route on questioning.
“Who’s ‘us’?”
“The Autobots, my friends.”
“So you’re saying… you’re leading your side of the war? Like a general?”
“Yes, to put it simply.”
“Wow… this is… a lot. How are you going to find your friends?”
“I… do not know. I was attempting to contact them before I noticed you.“
“Oh…”
“Do not worry. If the Deceptions attack this planet, we will protect it with our very sparks. A young species such as yourselves do not deserve to be punished for our mistakes.” Your expression softened. As this metal titan spoke to you, in gentle, deep tones, you felt strangely at peace. You felt silly for ever being afraid of him, like you’d known this alien for ages. He didn’t even know you, yet he was willing to risk his life for your home.
“…Thank you.”
“Do not thank me now, young human, I have yet to get your people out of harms way.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you going to be okay?” Optimus’s eyes widened for just a second before his face broke into a warm smile.
“…I will be just fine.”
“Well, if it’s my planet at stake… I want to help you.”
“Help me?”
“Yeah. I know more about this planet than you do, so I can show you how things work around here. It’s the least I can do.”
“That is very kind of you, you have my thanks.”
“Well, first I have to get home and sleep- my house isn’t too far from here, and I live alone so you don’t have to worry about anyone else freaking out. Not many people live around here.”
“That is good. I… apologies if I am too bold, is it okay if I carry you back to your home? It would be in our best interest to get to your home as fast as possible.”
“Ah, true. Well, I guess so.” He laid out his hand. It took you a second to climb on a stabilize yourself, nodding when you were ready for him to move. And he did, and you guided him all the way home. You hardly even noticed the junkyard and forgotten scrap metal you’d spent the night collecting.
Some things are more important.
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trillscienceofficer · 3 months
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I made myself rewatch “Blood Fever” and, in the spirit of analyzing all the times B'Elanna was under the influence of alien crap as the only times in which she shows overt interest in men, this dialogue really caught my attention:
Tom: Sorry. Try to stay calm. I know it's hard. B'Elanna: You don't know anything. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I need to do something. I can't take this. (She pushes Paris to the ground and straddles him. He pushes her off.) B'Elanna: You've never been hard to get, Tom. Tom: Well, I'm making an exception. I can't let you do this. B'Elanna: Oh, I'll bet you wish you could. All those invitations to dinner. And on the holodeck, the way you would stare at me when you thought I wasn't looking, and get jealous when I'm with someone else. You can't tell me you're not interested in me. Tom: You're right. I can't. B'Elanna Then don't push me away. Tom: Oh, believe me, I'd like to, but I know this isn't really you. You've made it clear that you're not interested, and I have to accept that's how you feel, even now. B'Elanna: No. No, it isn't. I was, I was just afraid to admit it. You see, I've wanted this for so long. (She kisses him.) B'Elanna Just let it happen. (More kisses.) Tom: I hope someday you'll say that to me and mean it.
So obviously this is B'Elanna almost at the end of her rope (the way she says that she feel like she's crawling out of her skin...) and the whole talk she gives about how she's seen the way Tom acts towards her is undoubtedly an act of desperation. B'Elanna is trying to wear his ethical concerns thin by pointing out that she knows what he's been doing, she's aware of his interest in her, so he could give in to his desires and have sex with her. Also obviously, that's fucked up!
But what I find most interesting in this scene is the fact that B'Elanna can explain so vividly how she knows Tom is attracted to her (the part I highlighted in purple), even in her state. She can recall precisely the instances in which she has observed Tom's interest. Now compare it with how she tries to talk about her own feelings towards Tom (in orange). It's much more perfunctory, a convenient explanation rather than a precise description of when and how her attraction developed. Even Tom seems rather unconvinced by the ‘I was afraid to admit it’ explanation, in addition to his obvious worry about her current state.
Now, I'm aware that B'Elanna is actually afraid of admitting any kind of feeling because she's so scared of letting go and letting people see her whole self, something Tom also points out to her at the end of the episode. So it is certainly a good interpretation to see B'Elanna's previous rejection of Tom as her being simply afraid of getting too close, especially to a human who might not be able to ‘handle her Klingon side’ just like her father wasn't able to deal with her mother and her (ie, afraid she'll be at the receiving end of more racial harassment).
Yet, I keep returning to the fact that B'Elanna was so precise when describing Tom's attraction to her but not vice-versa. I realize that in general women find it difficult to untangle their attraction to men from the attention they get from men. The latter is usually a strong component of the former for many women, and learning to separate the two things is often a long and difficult process. This is, I believe, part and parcel of the reality of living in a sexist society. With this perspective it's not surprising, imho, that B'Elanna finds it much easier to tell Tom about the way she's noticed his attention on her, rather than make a convincing case for her own feelings, even thinking of B'Elanna as completely straight.
But, but. As I've said at the beginning of this post, “Blood Fever” is part of a trend where B'Elanna is shown being attracted to men when under the influence of alien weirdness (the other episodes where this happens are “Persistence of Vision”, “Remember” and “Scientific Method”). It's probably the most obvious example of the whole trend, actually. The ‘sex pollen’ that makes B'Elanna act so irrationally is a strange offshoot of the Vulcan Pon Farr, something she only caught because Vorik (also not in his right mind) attacked her. (I think it's particularly fraught that all this is happening to her because she was essentially assaulted!!) And the dialogue above is so revealing to me, in the context of this trend—she knows of Tom's attraction to her, she's known for a long a time, but when it comes to her own desires her thoughts are much more nebulous and vague.
And it's not just in that particular scene I quoted, either. For example, earlier in the episode she bites Tom, but she doesn't seem super sure of why she did that (because again, she is not thinking very clearly):
Tom: [...] If I remember my Klingon customs, biting someone on the face means... B'Elanna: I know what it means. All right, so maybe I do feel something, some kind of instinct. What am I supposed to do about it?
And when pressed, she defaults to old Klingon wisdom:
Tom: B'Elanna, stop it! This isn't about the gun. This is about sex. But that's not gonna happen right now. B'Elanna: I think it is. See, I have picked up your scent, Tom. I've tasted your blood.
Part of it is Trek being always super weird about Klingon sex (this episode is certainly a prime example of that weirdness), and not having anything to say about it except for formulaic references. But also, taken all together, it's clear that B'Elanna is going through the motions of (Klingon) heterosexual practices because she has no other recourse, and Tom is just conveniently there, and conveniently already interested in her.
I think Tom calling her out on her pretense is already an obvious indicator that we shouldn't be taking what B'Elanna says of her own feelings at face value, but I would go even further and say that the way she acts is also hardly revealing of ‘true feelings’, much like her dreams in “Remember” were not her own. I'd say that seeing this episode as another example of B'Elanna being closeted is in fact just as viable an interpretation as the one that the episode puts forward (her being afraid of getting close to Tom); the two things aren't even mutually exclusive, in fact.
I've said before that the way Voyager puts B'Elanna in these situations where she has little to no control is an attempt to break her open and have her finally admit her feelings, because she's generally so closed off. So I'm aware of the narrative devices at play here. And yet, when these devices are being used so consistently when it comes to her relationship to Tom, I think it's interesting to look into it more deeply. B'Elanna and Tom were already playfully bickering and flirting even before “Blood Fever”, but it's only afterwards that it becomes really overt. I think part of it is because B'Elanna is now sure that he's interested in her (he admitted it to her), and he's shown himself to be a honorable man. It is honest attention; it's safe to reciprocate, and he won't take advantage of her. Yet the only way she's able to confess any feelings to him it's in the moments right before certain death in “Day of Honor”—her ambivalence never ceases to be there. It's even present all the way up to “Scientific Method”, where yet another instance of alien interference finally lets (?) her enjoy being close to Tom.
Again, I don't think it's at all a stretch to interpret all of this from the lens of a closeted B'Elanna—and “Blood Fever” unwittingly brings another argument in its favor, by having B'Elanna so clearly aware of Tom's feelings but not her own towards him.
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spencerdaze · 1 year
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'Labyrinth' and how trauma makes us search for escapism
Welcome to 'Mikaela please log off' where i talk and overanalyze movies because i'm unemployed. In today's hell of a post, i'm going to talk about probably my favourite movie and one that has shaped me for my entire life: 1986 'Labyrinth', with musical numbers written and performed by none other than Miss David Bowie himself! SPOILERS AHEAD.
Now i've seen this movie more times than i've seen my own face in the mirror. It's a movie i enjoyed in my childhood and certainly one that has shaped me, with how the puppets have a certain uncanny feel to them almost and how crazy and whimsical the whole movie is. It trully is an amazing movie that can be enjoyed by children, but also by adults as well, with many of the movie's themes and meanings being hidden or something you find with experience or relate to later in life. Because the movie is a very clear reference to fairytales like Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland, is no surprise to know there are many, many different readings that can be done to it. The firts reading i made of the movie when i rewatched it as an adult was that the movie was a very clear allegory for growing up and maturing, having to leave behind your childhood but also keeping in mind your inner child so that you don't lose yourself in the labyrinth that is life.
While the allegory reading is correct, and i think it's one of the meanings behind the movie and certainly the most obvious theme, it's definetly not the only one. One thing kept me wondering after watching the movie this time: Why is the phrase 'You have no power over me' so important? It's used in the beginning of the film, with Sarah forgetting this line in her book, and by the end, when she's facing Jareth, Sarah remembers the phrase by herself, clearly showing us as viewers the inner power Sarah has over her life. It's obvious this line is meant to represent Sarah's ambition and power, but why is it this phrase? Whi is it You have no power over me and not something else like 'My power lies within me' which could tie to the end of the film, with Bowie's Within you playing? Well, after rewatching it recently, i figured it out: Sarah isn't just talking to Jareth, she's talking to her stepmother.
At the beginning of the film Sarah seems to be, on the surface, a spoiled 15 year old girl who doesn't want to do her chores and just wants to play around, not even wanting to date, something her stepmom wants her to do. Her stepmother wants her to mature and grow, to find love, etc. And Sarah and her obviously do not get along a lot. Two important details appear when Sarah goes back to her room at the beginning after fighting with her stepmother over having to take care of her little brother: her stepmother talks to her dad, telling him 'She treats me like the wicked stepmother of a fairytale', and when Sarah goes to talk to her to her room, he doesn't even bother to open the door or make sure she's okay after the fight. To some people these details seem just normal parent behaviour, but it was very clear to me after the film that Sarah is being emotionally neglected by her father, and possibly made by her stepmother to grow up to fast. Sarah is fifteen and an older sister, and unfortunately is common for older sisters to act as parents for their siblings while also not being taken care of themselves. We see Sarah clinging to her childhood as an escapism from the fact she feels completely neglected, since her dad won't even open the door to talk to her.
When Sarah tells Toby her fairytale, it's a clear depiction of how she feels like: There once was a princess who was basically a slave to her stepmother and she was forced to take her of her baby brother. Sarah takes her rage out on her brother and sends him away with the goblins, and inmediatly regrets it. She's repeating patterns of abuse. She's realizing sending her brother away is the submitting him to the same neglectful behaviour she has struggled with. So she makes a deal with Jareth to get him back.
Jareth poses an interesting character in Sarah's healing journey from her trauma. He's in love with her, in very possessive, clingy way that makes him do anything she asks him too to try to manipulate her to love him, which doesn't work on her, because she's probably used to it. The fact Sarah has a lot of toys and costumes, which makes us feel like she's spoiled, while being simultaneously emotionally neglected, is a very common way a manipulator convinces the victim there's no reason to feel that way. So seeing as she's used to being gifted things, being given 'her dreams', instead of actual emotional support and availability, Sarah is basically inmune to Jareth's advances. This could be read as Sarah's first experience with love outside of her family life, which is also a common thing in the experiences of older sisters: they date men who aren't good for them, repeating the patterns they're used to and being once again emotionally hurt. By the end of the movie, after meeting new friends Sarah loves deeply and grows to appreciate, and by being shown there are people who do care about her and who do love her and respect her, Sarah is able to fight Jareth alone, because she might be phisically alone, but she knows her friends have her back always. The found family trope is used here even until the end when we think Sarah has grown and the people she met in the Labyrinth are gone, and Sarah tells Jareth he has no power over her because she finally has healed, and she knows she deserves better.
By the end, Sarah has matured and learned, not just about herself, but about love and relationships of all kinds. She gives Toby her plushie as a way of showing she doesn't need to desperately cling to her childhood anymore, because she now has people in her life who care about her for real, and also she tucks him in as a way to show she's going to break the cycle, and show him finally the emotional support she didn't get from her parents. She keeps many things in her room, but puts others away, and when her friends from the Labyrinth appear to tell her they'll be there if she needs them, they don't simply say this and go away, but she makes them stay. 'I need you', she tells them, because even if she's healed, her life might still be filled with the remnants of her trauma, and an escapism might be needed. But most importantly, 'I need you', because they're her friends, her found family, the people who have shown her what she deserves in her life.
The movie definetly shows us the many highs and lows in life, particularely in adolescence, and how the journey to being mature can be difficult. But these subtle themes of emotional neglect, trauma, and the struggles of a young girl forced to grow up a little too soon trully give the movie another layer of depth that maybe not everyone might see, but some of us, specially those of us who relate to these struggles, do see and aknowledge, reminding us that we're not alone and that we deserve better, for our trauma has no power over us.
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lurkingshan · 5 months
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Hii, hope you're doing well!! I've been meaning to check out more c-dramas. I've never really watched any, but I keep seeing them on my dash and want to start giving some a shot since I watch every other type of drama (BL or otherwise lol). I saw you post often about c-dramas, so I wanted to ask if you had any other recs besides Tender Light (which I'm planning on watching when it's done)? I'm more curious about c-dramas in general rather than any specific genre, since I'm so new to them
Hello, thank you for the ask! I'm glad my obsessive Tender Light posting has got you curious about cdramas. Some of my all time favorite dramas are from Mainland China, and I would be happy to share some recs! Since you are looking for a general sense, I am just going to give you a sampling of some of my personal favs.
Tender Light
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Obviously I will be taking this opportunity to talk up this drama some more, which will be ending its run this weekend. This is, hands down, my favorite drama of the year and easily going on my top 10 dramas of all time list. It's one of the most gorgeous and precise and unflinching pieces of media I have ever seen. This is definitely one for people who love smart mystery writing, dark themes (I mean this for real, if you have a lot of triggers ask for CWs), and explorations of the human condition. It will be staying with me for a long time.
Go Ahead
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Another of my all time favs (and with cast crossover from Tender Light), this is a family drama that digs deep on the meaning of family, finding your people, and resilience through intergenerational trauma. I love it so so much (I am actually rewatching it right now).
Lighter & Princess
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A fantastic romance and owner of a coveted spot on the ride or die drama couples list. In this story you get to watch these two fall in love twice, first in college and then as adults, and both times it's epic.
Reset
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How about a time loop thriller? This is one of the best I have ever seen, and its relatively short run keeps it tight and tense all the way through. There's a romance in this one, too, but kissing is definitely secondary to finding their way out of this death trap.
The Rebel Princess
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Let's dip our toe into historicals! Granted, I still have plenty of gaps in my historical cdrama watch list (there are just so many and they're so long, I am doing my best people!) but this remains my all time favorite to date. It's epic, it's shockingly well written and paced for its length, the characters are excellent and compelling all around, and it has one of my all time favorite male leads and drama couples (another from the ride or die list!). Don't let the episode number intimidate you, it will fly by much faster than you think.
The Untamed
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You watch bl so I am assuming you already know about Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, but just in case I will also include this drama as a much watch. It's likely the best live action danmei we will ever get.
Love Between Fairy and Devil
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Have you ever wondered what it would be like if a show put all your favorite fanfic tropes in a blender, cast beautiful people to act them out, and put them in lavish costumes? Well, here is your answer.
Love and Redemption
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This one's for us angst with a happy ending girlies. An epic love story with lots of pining and struggle and strife, and it's so worth it.
Falling Into You
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Back to the modern era, this is a classic sports drama with a noona romance. Very unassuming but full of charm and very well executed.
Fake It Till You Make It
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An unusually mature take on adult romance from a cdrama, this one is about two career focused permasingle love skeptics who meet, realize they actually like each other, and try to figure out what the hell to do with that. I love it a lot.
That should be enough to get you started! There are many many more recs to be had, so once you give some of these a try and figure out what you like, feel free to hit me up for more!
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ace-of-spaders · 3 months
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*taps the mic and laughs nervously because of the major stage fright*
Lizzington shippers, fam, grandmas and grandpas, can I have a moment of your attention, please?
It's not a secret that, while some people in Lizzington community are still active, whether they write or make gifs or keep our dash full of Lizzington even in this trying times ( @melbob26-blog, thank you for this! ), Lizzington community as a whole went into hibernation over the last couple of years.
And I get it, interests change, especially when one show ends and there's another ongoing, moving on from the show that ended is totally natural, especially when it didn't give your favorite characters the happy ending they deserved.
I get it.
Hell, for a pretty lengthy while there I focused on other ships and shows, too, especially after TBL ended ended last year.
But you know what I realized earlier today, when I reread some of the old fics, browsed through gifsets and text posts, watched some fanvids?
It's the show that ended, for some in 2021, for others in 2023. And the only thing that means is that it cannot disappoint us anymore.
( it's not like we were suddenly deprived of quality content, because let's face it, the fans have been the main source of the quality lizzington content for years now, while the show gave us mere crumbs, on a good day )
But Red and Liz?
They are still out there, fighting criminals, catching Blacklisters, travelling the world, shamelessly flirting, toppling shadow organizations, raising Agnes and/or any other children they have, and generally being the sexy badass power couple they are!
Nothing changed in that regard.
So why would we mourn them, when they are out there, healthy and happy and in the middle of yet another adventure? I'm sure right this moment Red is drawing Liz into another one of his heists and she's only too happy to join him, even though she pretends that she's not, for the sake of the game.
There's literally no reason for us to stop writing, giffing, editing, sharing theories and headcanons and memes and just talking about our favorite couple.
And by writing all of this, I want to propose something daring to you:
Let's revive the Lizzington community!
Let's rewatch earlier seasons and gif the hell out of them because it's been a while and because precious moments between these two are not going to become less precious even if it's giffed 10 or 100 more times, not to mention that ever gifmaker's style is different, so there are virtually no two identical gifsets as there are no two identical snow flakes.
Let's make fanvideos, picspams, picture edits, fanart, moodboards! The amount of songs, quotes, moments etc that can inspire you is virtually endless!
Let's write fics, let's explore AUs, let's give each other prompts and challenge each other to try something new or practice some aspect of writing, like writing kisses or AUs or hugs or making up Blacklisters etc!
Let's share headcanons and theories and ideas and what our versions of Red and Liz are like, because everyone has their own unique versions of Red and Liz living in their head, and it's just beautiful, if you ask me!
Let's reblog stuff, filling each other's dashes with Lizzington!
Let's scream about Lizzington because no one does it like them!
Let's revive the Lizzington Community, we all miss it!
PS. Feel free to reblog this post – spread the suggestion!)
PPS. To assure you that I'm not the type of person who encourages others but doesn't do anything themselves, I can tell you I've already got some ideas for a couple of Lizzington events in mind. Those include challenges, thematic weeks etc.
PPPS. I'm not sure how many people are checking the tags these days, so I'm gonna tag some people I know under the cut, just in case, to spread the suggestion. If you weren't tagged, trust me, it's nothing personal!
@meetmeatthecoda @iwouldlovetoeatyourtoast @agxntkeen @factoseintolerant @tale-xistime @james-baeder @lettie1609 @withwhatiam @peace-love-on-planet-earth @missourired @felilaprivada @strawberry-pills @roominthecastle @codewordpumpkin @my-robot-heart @kitkate91060 @imyourplusone @shelly1952 @itsjustme-itsmylife @castle2cute @nancyjocom @cress-26 @lunaarlilacs @femaleoptimistic @scifi-gk @greeneyedsoul88 @figureofdismay @shippinglizzington @kissthefuture @thetwistedargent @actuallylorelaigilmore @sorrydearie @turningtimeinthetardis @buildinggsr @apicturewithasmile @windfalling @piketrickfeet
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Hello!!
I'm back to crack posting about my favourite shows and/or characters! =D
We Are ep 8 was gold. It had comedy, friendship, silliness and romance in the absolute perfect amounts.
Warning: long post 😊😅
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This scene with Peem and Matt is peak comedy. I rewatched it so many times hehe
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Phum: I'm gonna ignore every inch of space to stand right beside you. <3
Peem: *bombastic side eye*
Also Peem: *leans into him*
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Khaofang woke up today and chose violence 😭👍🏼
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Let's be honest though, that was not the sibling we'd expected to throw fists.
Meanwhile, Toey: that's my hia Fang 😊
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Isn't that the million dollar question Mick 😭
If they got together already, how would the series run for 16 eps 😭
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Toey with his hias ^ (also Matt edging him on like he's in a competition I'm dying 😭)
Toey with his P'Q:
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However savage Q may be, he still shares the same braincell with his friends 😭👍🏼
IT WAS SO MEAN OF THEM TO MAKE MATT PAY WHEN THEY'VE HARDLY EVEN TAKEN A SIP! T-T
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Peem before, when Phum even touched him: LET GO YOU ASSHOLE
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Peem now: *fond, indulging smile* what do you want to do?
*shakes head with a sigh* boys in love ay
The motorcycle 'hold me tightly' trope being reused with a bicycle aka how to make them sit even closer
Peem saying so-so when Phum asks if he looks handsome: Peem, babe, you were the one who called him handsome first remember? 😭
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What secretly. Phum was about as subtle as a football directly hitting your painting (yes I think I'm very funny).
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With all due respect, please get the f out and let my boys be. Please and thank you. :)
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^This is the answer to any question about Pun. 😭👍🏼
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This scene is so, so beautiful. I am absolutely loving how they’re giving friendship/platonic love as much importance as romantic love because yes. I've been waiting for a bl like this forever (or at least since I got into bls hehe-). Bad Buddy and MSP came close, but We Are took the trophy. They love each other so much. Kill for each other? Nah, they'd go together and make that person's life living hell, and that would make my day.
I really really love that they're still so silly with each other in college, and are close to and comfortable enough with each other to be able to be childish and play in the middle of the day, to be each other's safe space.
This friendship is so precious and close to my heart. Even more than the romantic parts of the story, this is what makes me want to watch this series every week to see what new shenanigans they've got up to.
I love them. So much.
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Beer is me, I am Beer.
Smiling at them so softly. Oh, he knows. And he ships. 👍🏼
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This scene was also so beautiful.
They've finally started acknowledging that there's something between them.
I think more than Phum being unable to express himself, he's taking small steps to guage how Peem reacts. He wants them to be on the same page before he takes the next step.
Like with the kiss, he didn't hesitate to talk about it, to tell how much it means to him and then kiss Peem again. But he waited until Peem kissed him first, and till he was sure that Peem wanted to talk about it.
I really like this about him. He's not taking a step back per se, just making sure that when he takes a step forward, he's not leaving Peem one step behind.
Phum explains again and again how Peem is his safe space (his dialogues this time reminding us of Peem's little speech to his own friends and Fang talking about why he likes Tan with Phum), to make sure Peem knows.
It's already been told to us how alone he's been most of his life, so Peem and his ragtag group of friends is very new for him, but it's fun, and it not only brings him closer to Peem but also a friend group - a support system he didn't really have before. Sure, he has Fang, Beer and Mick, and Tan, but it's nothing like this silly little group that puts paint on each other then plays with water and gets almost black out drunk on a regular basis.
Also, did anyone else notice the two matching rainbow coloured jars behind Peem here? No? 👀
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Simp. (affectionate)
I always love these call scenes where one of them somehow travels through his cell phone to land in the other's bed hehe
Peem is so done with Phum and his branded fashion outfits 😭😭
"You were born in Thailand."
Pond and the "I'm Thai" meme 😭
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wait.
A bl lead realising he likes someone (his romantic interest) all on his lonesome??
Colour me surprised!
I actually didn't think I'd get to see this happen ever in a Thai bl, but good for him lol
So that's that for this week! If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊
Here, have a bubble tea 🧋
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Note
I also saw someone say Adrien getting turned into a pigeon in the same Mr. Pigeon 72 episode was also foreshadowing for the sentitheory, what do you think?
I'm gonna be honest, I sat here staring at this ask for a solid minute trying to make sense of the words on my screen because this is one of the most nonsense things I've ever read. Media literacy can't actually be this bad, right?
No, Adrien being turned into a pigeon is not foreshadowing unless you think him being turned into a Reflecta clone and a Style Queen golden statue also mean something, which I highly doubt is the case. Turning people into things is just a standard akuma power and Adrien gets to be one of the victims from time to time in order to make an episode's plot work the same way he occasionally gets mind controlled. The fact that one of the things he got turned into was a bird doesn't foreshadow anything because that's not how foreshadowing works. Foreshadowing doesn't mean "I can find a way to loosely connect these two things!"
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[image: the "I've connected two dots, you didn't connect shit" meme]
For the pigeon transformation to have meaning, it would - at the very least - need to be unique to Adrien in some way, but it's not. He's one of many identical pigeons and I'm guessing that this person wasn't claiming that they're all sentimonsters, right? If not, then how is it foreshadowing? What makes this transformation different on a rewatch now that we know Adrien's status? Because that's how foreshadowing works. It should play different once you know what it was setting up.
If you want an actual example of akuma-based foreshadowing, look at Wishmaker, which showed us Adrien's childhood dream vs everyone else's. The fact that Adrien has no hopes or dreams of his own while all of the real humans do is pretty clearly meant to make you go, "Huh, that's odd." Then, on a rewatch, you go, "Oh, this is because he's not a human!"
That's the way that foreshadowing is supposed to work. It's subtle or blatant highlighting of an oddity that will come to have meaning later on. You may be able to guess the meaning before the reveal, but it should play into the reveal in some way.
Another example of foreshadowing is how, in the later half of season four, the camera starts focusing on the Agreste's wedding rings every time Gabriel or Nathalie gives a command that Adrien then obeys. It's meant to make you go, "Huh, that's odd."
A weird*, but ultimately solid example of subtle foreshadowing is the butterfly logo on Adrien's shoes, hinting at his father's villain status. We know that Adrien probably only wears his father's brand and butterflies are a big deal in the show right from the start, so why would you give Adrien a butterfly on his outfit if that doesn't mean something about his father? You wouldn't, so it's obvious that this is a clue that Gabriel is Hawkmoth or at least involved with Hawkmoth. Let's compare that to the pigeon stuff to really highlight foreshadowing vs grasping at straws.
"Gabriel put subtle nods to his villainy in his clothing line because he's an egomaniac" is a really logical thing to assume. Similarly, "Everything on Adrien's body was put there with purpose by the animators because it had to be custom designed for him, so that butterfly is not an accident," is solid logic. There is no reason for that butterfly to be there if it doesn't mean something.
"Emilie and Gabriel gave their magical designer baby a pigeon allergy to give viewers a subtle hint that he's a magical designer baby made from a peacock feather," sounds like the ramblings of a mad person. Do you also think that Adrien's inability to play soccer is going to come back to mean something outside of Penalteam? Or that him bragging about being good at physics in Evillustrator means that he's ultimately going to be a physicist*? You better or else you're cherry picking because the pigeon allergy is not given any more importance than those other little facts. Facts that were clearly only dropped for the sake of a joke.
This is the problem with trying to claim that a random joke from a random episode must have deeper meaning. It certainly can, that's how subtle foreshadowing works, but for a thing to be foreshadowing, it has to create a clear association between A and B. It also needs to be logical. The pigeon stuff is neither clear nor logical.
Pigeon-related things that would have actually counted as foreshadowing in Mr. Pigeon 72 if they had been included:
Adrien!pigeon not responding to Mr. Pigeon's commands because Mr. Pigeon doesn't have Adrien's amok and that's the only way to control a sentimonster no matter their form (this would go against established lore since Adrien has been able to be mind controlled in the past, but I'm just spit-balling ideas here, okay? Work with me people! Miracular and the Paris special let him get cataclysmed without breaking like a normal senti, so retconing the rules for the sake of the plot is par for the course in my book)
Mr. Pigeon being unable to have a sentimonster because they're allergic to feathers combined with Adrien!Pigeon constantly sneezing, making him standout and be useless
Kagami being established to also have feather allergies since she's also at the pool in this episode, making it really freaking easy to establish this since Marinette is listing off random ass things that Kagami and Adrien have in common
If it doesn't result in an "oh!" or "I knew it" moment later on, then it ain't foreshadowing. But it could be something else.
*Let's circle back to the physics thing briefly because you might have thought, "Wait, that could be foreshadowing if he goes into physics, couldn't it?" And kind of! You're thinking of foreshadowing's parent technique, setup and payoff (or, at least, I've never seen it called something else.) The difference between general S&P and foreshadowing is that foreshadowing should stand out as odd like Adrien's shoes or the rings. It's something that's there to make you go, "Huh." Meanwhile, many of techniques used for setup and payoff don't require a "huh" feeling.
Allow me to explain!
Adrien being good at physics isn't weird, it's just a fun fact about him and it's normal to develop your characters as a story goes on just to flesh them out and make them feel more real. Every little thing you learn doesn't have to mean something about their ultimate fate. But sometimes the things you learn do lead to something bigger. That's just crafting a good, logical story. Knowing Adrien enjoyed physics class at 14 means nothing for his eventual career path, but if he does go into physics, it's now no longer out of the blue.
But it's also not foreshadowed. It's just setup.
An actual example of this type of thing is Marinette's diary. Her diary has been used as a nice little character quirk throughout the show. Then we get to the Paris special and - suddenly - the diary actually matters to the plot.
This isn't foreshadowing. The diary was never presented in a way that would make you think, "Huh, that's coming back later" or "Hmmm, that's odd." But it's still a satisfying moment to see her diary lead to something since it's been around for so long.
If we were never told that Marinette kept a diary and we only ever saw her hiding this pink book, then that would have been foreshadowing as we'd be thinking, "Huh, that's odd." Then we'd get to the Paris special and go, "Oh! That's what the book was!"
In other words, foreshadowing requires a reveal. I'll also note that there's no hard rules for this stuff. I tried to pick good examples that were clearly foreshadowing and clearly not, but there's grey area here, so it's okay if you disagree about some of these being foreshadowing. (Except for if you disagree on the pigeon stuff. I will fight you about the pigeons!)
Another example of setup and payoff is Gabriel getting cataclysmed and then slowly dying throughout the season. His death isn't foreshadowed, it's just a thing that's happening. On the other hand, Nathalie dying via the peacock is used for foreshadowing because it leads to Adrien comparing Nathalie's illness to Emilie's, which is the setup for the reveal that Emilie used the peacock. Nathalie's illness is also just a non-foreshadowed setup for Emilie's reveal so that the peacock hurting people doesn't come out of nowhere, which is why setups are important. You can skip all foreshadowing and only use setups and still tell a good story.
The pigeon stuff was never foreshadowing, but if any of it had been revealed to mean something by the show, then it could be argued to be a situation where it was introduced as a setup for a later payoff. But the pigeon thing has f-all to do with sentimonsters, so once again, it's nonsense and people need to let it die! The pigeon thing has been used for its intended purpose: gags. That's why it came back in Mr. Pigeon 72! Mr. Pigeon 1 didn't foreshadow that, it just setup a gag that they decided to revisit because this is a comedy and little kids probably find Adrien sneezing and messing things up funny.
*One final note: the reason I called Adrien's shoes "weird" is because the butterfly logo was great subtle foreshadowing back when people thought that the butterfly was the logo for Gabriel's company. Now that the logo is a massive G, the butterfly raises questions about Gabriel's design choices since we never see it anywhere else. I've often wondered if this was originally meant to be Gabriel's logo, but they scrapped the idea for some reason. Either way, it's still foreshadowing, it's just slightly less good now that we have to ask, "Why did Gabriel put butterflies on these sneakers for teen boys and no where else?"
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m1ssunderstanding · 7 months
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2
George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.
Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous. 
Always looking at each other with every single joke. 
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He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?
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I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?
Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?
It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers. 
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The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.
Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+
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This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.
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Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way. 
Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet
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I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?
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The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.
Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly. 
Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says. 
What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.
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But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay. 
So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy. 
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How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.
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The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then. 
Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."
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Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?
Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here. 
Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken. 
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The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.  
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Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking. 
The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?
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“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”
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hero-next-door · 6 months
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Defending Nathan Prescott
(From Every Accusation)
All fact proven & common sense theory
No bullshit.
I suck at grammar. Deal with it.
I've replayed the game far too many times to gather this. I read into everything and even read into and WATCHED people who have suffered the same mental illness and situations Nathan has been in.
What I'll be covering:
Illness, rib breaking, dead animals, bdsm, Chloes pic, Rachel, gun on campus, Kate, Pompidou, Jefferson, wealth and his father.
And dont even THINK about skipping ahead!
Everything here is tied into one another. Read from start to finish. You're on this post to understand, right? Or to argue? Im not here to argue so, bye.
Lets start from the top...
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Nathans downfall was caused by society and all who failed him. He's driven by hatred of others who don't understand him, and the game purposly wrote him off that way. They want players to hate him from what sides of the stories we've experienced. They gave this character controversial hobbies and a cynical bully attitude to really keep you suspecting him and not guessing Jefferson. The game isn't about Nathan. It's about Max. We learn so much about Max and everyone close to her. The tears they shed, the pains they've endorsed. Same with Chloe and Rachel's story. My heart goes out to all of them. We don't get to see that with other characters. Therefore, we don't care for them...or that's the games' intentions. We don't know the ins and outs of Nathan. Only what the game shows us, which are all negative. So, of course, disliking Nathan is only reasonable.
Mental Illness
We start with mental illness. He has Psychosis. Lots of proof, but i'm assuming you've seen it all already. Like, do people know what Psychosis is? Do they REALLY know what it is? Because this ALONE changes everything. And not Psychopathy ..Psychosis. Two different things, pookie. Psychopathy is the one where part of the brain is missing or disturbed. THEY'RE the ones that don't have empathy. Psychosis is different. Anybody can get it. This illness can take your empathy and awareness away, then bring it all back after the harm is done, leaving you to process that. Schizo and Bipolar are also all quite a handful to deal with too. Loud Noises/downgrading voices in your head SO LOUD that people will do anything to calm them. (Dont be shy, youtube: "28- Psychotic Episode" by Collège d'Alma) The feeling of loosing your mind is something I notice a lot of haters dont empathize on especially if they killed or hurt sombody. The brain slips into a state so disconnected that interviews with recovering patients I've seen describe it as confusing and scary and dont recall saying the stories they told and actions they did others. Imagine not being able to remember the hurtful things you've said and done. Imagine being told you killed somebody... with your own hands? And you can hardly remember what happened. Like... how would you react? Think about it. Anybody can get psychosis with enough trauma or a kick in the noggin. Some people who were interviewed that had psychosis said that they found relief when getting high or drunk. Little did they know the symptoms could bounce back up to 5x during withdrawal. But they were so desperate to get rid of the voices that they abused the drugs. Like....wow the game really did their research to create such a complicated character. Anyway, moving on.
Edit: After further research, he certainly had bipolar disorder first. Then it went left untreated, therefore sunk him to worse mental state of many other illnesses. Drugs only made things much, much worse. Bipolar disorder can cause schizo and schizo to lead to psychosis. 🙄Jesus Nathan quit hogging all the illnesses.
Now, let's break down everything else...
Shooting Chloe
Just rewatch it. Aims gun, Chloe pushes him, it tightens grip, ACCIDENTLY shoots her, immediately drops gun and gets really scared of he's done, checking to see if she's alive! If you specifically rewatch the ending of Lis1 when Chloe gets shot, they extend his reaction. He goes back and forth, checking her body. If he wanted to kill her, you check pulse and then run. Not sticking around crying about it. There's your empathy you're all saying he doesn't have. Other times where he could have shown more empathy ties with his Psychosis. Some people with the illness said that the voices loudly in their head will convince them that everyone around you is your enemy. Everyone is after you. It can twist your brain to feel anger and fear towards others. Nathan is always hung up on how everyone is using him and trying to control him. Which people ..DO use him. So now he's convinced that everyone is. He's not choosing to feel this way. He just needs psychiatric help.
Breaking Ribs
In Before The Storm, his entire demeanor is completely different than the Lis 1. He's more cowardly and not loud and aggressive. We'll be mentioning his creepy "pervy" binder later. Nathan isn't violent until the end IF you let Nathan get bullied and push his life in a negative direction. Sure, it's not Chloe's responsibility, but this is the game's way of showing you his downfall. We need to remember the game hides scenes and expect you to make up what happened behind the scenes. He broke Samantha's ribs over ..what? She's always so desperate to defend Nathan and even gets upset with Chloe when she doesn't help. So, if you tell her the wrong option to pressure kindness into Nathan, it results in him breaking ribs. How, though? Haters immediately hop online to say cause he's a mean and abusive non-empathic nut head. Are you sure he didn't just push her away, and her clumsiness just fell over? This took place after the play...so he possibly...pushed her off... 😰 She did say she was clumsy. You don't think she would have tried to hug or touch him in any way. Ok ok...calm down... Let's take a step back.. You get this "breaking ribs," ending from letting Nathan get bullied and embarrass himself during the play that his father pressured him about! Adding a little "..fuck you.." to the audience. Showing his start to his villain career and the start of him hating everyone, and you tell Samantha to go hug him!? This is the start of his mental spiral if you let things play out this way. But hurting her with intention? No. Lets tie this in with the other endings to their relationship. You get the clumsy ending. She hurts herself differently, and Nathan is with her in the hospital. Saying how he feels bad that she got hurt. (empathy bell) And they continue yo talk about her photo or whatever. Tie this with the rib one, tie this with the Chloe getting shot incident, and tie this with his mental illness. Come on, do i gotta spell it out for you.. Hurting someone is not what he attends to do. Like he quotes in his voice mail. (Speaking of that voice mail, empathy bell.) He does get angry at Samantha and hurts her, and we as players dont know the full story. But what was playing in his head seconds before and the entirety of the game that led up to this IS the reason why he accidentally hurts her. His anger from the entire game was built up and, unfortunately, released on her. Whatever happened, breaking her ribs was not on his to-do list! And then we have.. The good ending. He sits beside her, smiling.
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Oh, wait! He's a little psycho with no human emotion? Psychosis has all parts of the brain attached, pookie. For most cases, It can be cured and helped. I can get it. YOU can get it. He has human emotions when he is at his very rare peaceful moments like with this good ending, when with Victoria ig and other scenes we tend to forget. Because painting him as the villain was the games goal. Jefferson was the plot twist.
Daddy Issues, Smug Talk, and a Gun on campus
Simple guys. Simple. You represent this school. You represent our name. This is a legacy. You will not embarrass me. This isn't about you or your problems!
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Sure, YOU wouldn't crumble under that pressure, but Nathan sure did. Sure, child abuse isn't an excuse to "kill" people. But is it the child's fault? Sean-beanbag prescott should be arrested for not taking his boy to the asylum. Instead, he argues with a doctor!? Goofy, bro. But so many people are fueled with anger towards Nathan instead. It's whatever. Prescott, literally being his name, was already a red flag to other characters and chose to hate and bully him over it. Drew hated for what his FATHER did. Nathan did ..what again? Notice how that "rich Malfoy talk" wasn't really present in Before The Storm. Sure he tried to burn Drew with a family financial situation insult but the "Im rich, my father owns everything, I got a lawyer, money this and that" wasn't in his character in the Before the Storm. I believe being a prescott wasn't really in his future goals, and he wasn't ever really passionate about it. It's all in the annoyance in his tone with his father before the play. Lis1 he uses it so often to show that he's the boss and in control. He is influenced by representation for his family/school, wealth, intimidation, and of course hatred and believing everyone hates him. In his mind, everyone is against him, after him, and wants to use him. Again, he doesn't choose to think this way. Let me explain my last sentence clearly, though. Imagine being surrounded by a ton of people. All their attention is on you. They hate who you are. They talk about you. You have a defensless stomach sinking feeling and scared because all these people surrounding you are looking at you and all your insecurities and laughing at you. Well, obviouslysome of that is not going on in reality. But to Nathan, that IS his reality, and he has no control over it. Anyways I shouldn't have to keep explaining mental illness and how it stresses the brain. The bottom line is that his status and waving a gun around is what he thinks keep others out of his head. He can barely throw a punch. He had to use his head on warren, and did you catch when Max hit him in that scene? The dude was literally holding onto his face like he'd been battered. Like she did NOT hit that hard lmao. He's weak. He's always been the same tiny Nathan from before the storm. Just now, he uses masks for intimidation to stop his bullies, and anyone he thinks is "after him." He never meant to use a gun on anybody, just a threat. During the second scene where warren reunited a head butt with Nathan.. If you pull off warren, he barely even aims the gun when he runs away towards his room. Cowardly. He feels that he has to, to protect himself. He also uses his father as a threat, but clearly, that never worked. Also, I noticed him crying when you let Warren get crazy on him? Dudes apologizing and sobing? Guess that's not his first rodeo, rip.
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Dead Animals
There is no proof he hurt animals. That's not really like him. He does have a list of illnesses, but Psychopathy isn't one of them. Y'all can keep yappin, but it's not. Clearly NOT one of them. He could have hurt an animal during an unaware episode, but there will not be any awareness behind it. Anyways, there are plenty of artists that do the same thing. Nathan is very passionate about photography and protraying solitary but not in the same way Jefferson does. Jefferson certainly uses that manipulation, but we'll get to that later. There are artists that like to shine on death in a positive light and in sorrow. There's also beauty in anatomy. It's not my cup of tea, but someone close to me can name me all kinds of gross organs and would be down to disect any animal. Yuck. But to them.. its fascinating, and they are the greatest people in my life. In love and in empathy. (NOT comparing my pookie to Nathan, PAUSE.) In anatomy theres Education and surprise. Death is also a theme and style too. Skulls and gore, super "rad" fukin "knarly."
BDSM Skip to (●) next part if needed
Ok.. so he's a little frisky. Y'all need to remember this is a fictional game first, okay? Lol Anyway, I can't defend him much here, but I got something. Firstly, the game WANTS you to suspect Nathan. Can't keep his room pretty and pink. They have to make it freaky and spooky. They paint Nathan as the villian for you to only focus on him as a suspect. So that everyones jaws are dropped with Jefferson twirls in.
Anyway...defending BDSM? This can bring trauma to those who have experienced it negatively or view it negatively. So skip to the Frank defense or read more if you want.
Bdsm relationships are very controversial. Some people see it as unhealthy, abusive, and sick. But if you have talked to or listened to other people within these relationships, they state that its completely consensual, safe, harmless, a breach of deep trust with their partners, and simply a fetish or kink The goal is to have fun at your limit..not pass the limit. There are twisted people who have broken that barrier and made it not fun and abusive. That's where I can't argue. If you feel that way towards the topic, I completely empathize with you.
Nathan has shown in his other photos a black and white theme of solitary. And you can tell that he might have taken those bdsm photos himself. As the quality is almost like the Pompidou photo. Everyone blends him taking bdsm photos with his angry behavior and "non empathic" demeanor. But this is where I loop back to Before The Storm hugging-my-binder Nathan. It's shown that in one of his endings, he took photos of Samantha. Obviously, NOT bdsm photos. His binder was a school project. But Samantha obviously consented, and Nathan was passionate enough to show her. He sees them as art. Naked girls have been models for sculptures and paintings. Its beauty. That's IF she was naked in some way in those photos. Which I still doubt. School project. Im sure the photos were gentle and strange and misunderstood, and Drew was just in his bully era. His reaction would have been a lot more eye-opening if he had a face full of tits or straps. Nathan begged for his binder back and even nervously reacted, showing he had love for his work and 'took time with it' (as he quotes when Drew throws it). I bring this up here to show that the women in his photos were indeed given consent, and if hes passionate about depicting his art, hurting them wouldn't be on his agenda. As we all learned today that hurting people was never his intentions until drugs and illness met with pressure and intimidation clouds his brain.
I read up on other artists that painted things similar. In their paintings, they expressed dread, vulnerability, feeling traped, and ..feeling used. If Nathan did find the images he took arousing, then why would he hang them up like everything else in his room like art? I believe that they're depicted in an artful way and in its black and white shading brings a sad darkness. If it's anything like the painters I mentioned, maybe Nathan has a deep level of empathy we don't understand.
●Frank and Pompidou
I didn't even know he took a picture of Franks hurt dog in the road because you little freaks threw his treat in the street!? This will also tie in to chloes pic, but we'll get to that. Frank first, as it's pretty simple. Nathan runs some system with Frank. And it's pretty obvious it's the same thing Drew was doing in Before the Storm. Nathan clearly doesn't like it as he finds it controlling, but getting his hands on drugs is a great way to forget his flaws and calm his illness symptoms. Which only created a loop of his symptoms worsening, as talked about before. His illness is very active towards the end of Before the Storm. You can tell by his huge character difference that drugs only made it worse.
Pompidou is a good dog, but just remember he's not the one who hurt him. This ties in with what we explained in the dead animal phase. The Imagine is black and white. It's a strange art most people don't understand. Man, I don't even understand it. But these people aren't heartless, and they're simply expressing pain. Or.. he took it for the same reason he took Chloes pic. To feel that he's in control, thinking this will help his mental reality of thinking everyone can use him, as explained earlier. But i doubt it. One is in color, and Pompidou is not. One is misguided, and one is "art."
Jefferson, Rachel, Kate, Chloes pic
If i see one more person throw him in the same trash bin as Jefferson, im going to puke. Anyway, I've twisted my head around this story so many times, begging to see the bigger picture. No pun attended. Jefferson was pulling the strings all along ..you know that, right? If Nathan was never there, Jefferson would have still done his disgusting projects. He certainly brought Victoria over without Nathan's usage. He didn't need Nathan, Nathan just made it easier cause he can easily be manipulated. Making Nathan do it all so the consequences will fall on him. Jefferson is smart and knows the right words to say. Nathan is missing the kindness of a father figure. All he has to do is play with his feelings. Nathan falls too easily to kindness. He felt the kindness of Samantha during the good ending, and He felt the kindness from Victoria.. but Victoria toxic bully nature wasn't helping. The bottom line is Jefferson easily manipulates him and understands his mental reality and uses that against him. Adding thoughts into Nathans head. Jefferson learned to use Nathan's illness to his advantage. Nathan trusted Jefferson as did everyone in that school. Why on earth would Jefferson wrong him? He looked up to him, so when Jefferson slowly brought him into his plans of drugging girls, Nathan thought that it was all ..moral. In reality, you and I know obviously that's not okay, but to Nathan (and his severe illness), he trusted Jefferson was doing no wrong. We don't understand the mental strain he was under. Manipulation goes a long way. Heres how he did it. He probably said things like 'We are the same Nathan, this is art just like yours.' It starts small, Nathan gets him the drugs. Then he pulls him in, and Nathan starts drugging the girls for me. Start driving them here. Start helping me inside the dark room. Start helping me inject my victims. Jefferson had so much power over him. He was connected with his father. He can threaten his grade, his representation, and his future in art. He knew all the right things to say and do. He knew how his head worked. Clog him up with drugs, and keep him quiet. Heal his missing father needs and demand him for your needs. Does this not make Nathan a victim, too?
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Then ...the Rachel incident happened. Nathan was NOT mentally aware of what he's done. The excited "Rachel!" When he saw Max at the diner clearly shows that he truly expected her to pull up. This mixes with the symptoms we've discussed. He only remembers bits and pieces as obviously it was beyond traumatizing. Sending him in an insane spiral and the infamous psychosis drawing. (Don't be afraid, google psychosis drawings. Damn. Just imagine you recovered from psychosis and laying eyes on that and not remembering you drew that..ugh...I'd cry.) Someone with Psychopathy wouldnt feel traumatized from such events, debunking the fact everyone thinks Nathan has Psychopathy. He doesn't have Psychopathy, he has psychosis. Moving on. Jefferson was certainly angry with him and drugged Nathan himself after the incident, which really helped Nathan to forget what he's done. But Jefferson's anger and not talking to him tore him apart. His emotional attachment clearly wasn't having it. The note he wrote Jefferson in desperate attempt to bring him back after ruining Jefferson plans goes to show just how much he wants that sense of being cared for. If only it was someone else that wasnt Jefferson ..or his dad can do is fucking job too.
Alcohol was certainly a great method of forgetting what he did. So then comes Chloes' interaction with him. We know the story. He did not SA her, I can say that right here and now. Nothing like that was behind this. You can tell by the way Chloe presented the story to Max. There wasn't an uncomfortable tone to her story. She didn't seem traumatized but more shocked, and "it was pretty crazy." She also wasn't drugged for that long. She woke up very soon, fully clothed. What obviously happened is that Nathan used this to feel in control like the mentioned way above. Drugs and Psychosis is no jokes. Who knows what hell is playing in his mind, but I unfortunately believe that this was to try to win back Jefferson. He had been angry at him and ignoring him, and even tho he hates drugging, his confusion and drunk state led him to this. He's cowardly, and his mind is slipping and tries to do what he thinks is right for him. He's misguided and leads down the wrong path.
Nathan did not SA Kate! Kate story breaks my heart into a million pieces, but if she was SA-ed, it wasn't Nathan. After everything I said above, you can tell that that isn't in his character. But here I want to bring up the voicemail. Nathan claims multiple times that he never wanted to hurt anybody, implying that he felt forced to do harm. Something he DID NOT want to do. Why on earth would anybody have felt forced to SA somebody!? I'm not saying Kate WASN'T SA-ed as I can only assume maybe the boys she was shown with in the video did something or Jefferson. Victoria was Kates bully!!! Nathan wanted to be liked by Victoria and was influenced by her nature. He's desperate for attention and kindness. Victoria did far more to hurt Kate and her reason as to why was shit. You go THAT FAR to one up your photography game. Girl, bye. She spread that video, and she still has empathy, too? Her regretting everything? Did she reallyy regret it? Or did she want to make herself look good for her representation? She showed regret via text message in Before The Storm, too? She doesn't have a mental illness, but the game gave her an act of forgiveness and used her as a victim so the audience would sympathize with her. Goes to show you the game controls what they want you to feel. If they were to do that with Nathan..would opinons be different? Taking us into his mind and how he sees the world around him. They could have..but didnt. Well.. We have the voicemail, but obviously, that didn't stop the haters. It's unfortunate. But the game gave me just enough little clues for me to shine light on in this post. They put so much into his character but never showed the audience the truth.
Conclusion
What we've learned today is that Nathan isn't the villain you think. He's been manipulated, used, and needs mental help, but im sure my old Nathan-defending friends have said this time and time again. Im here to add something....
It's been PROVEN that he's capable of all human emotions. You just refuse to believe it because you're mistaking his illness and claiming all of this was intentional. Psychosis can be temporary. It's like a hand that steals your common sense, feelings, empathy, and sympathy, and you're only left with acting on pure chaos and negative or fearful emotions. After long treatment, your sense of reality returns, your feelings, your empathy, your sympathy.. And all you have now is guilt and regret and self blame that you hurt somebody. If you let Nathan kill Chloe, he is arrested. He had doctors aware of his illness and would have been charged with illness in mind. Forcing the treatment he needed ages ago. By the time Lis 2 came out... I wonder how he's taking it all in? What he did to everyone, what he did to Rachel.
He was written off to die, be locked up, and blamed. Unfortunately, he was caught in the crossfires of the harm of our favorite characters. If he was born in a different family and away from Jeff, he would have never hurt anybody. Matter a fact, he would never have suffered with his listed mental illnesses.
This goes out to all real accidental murder cases. There will always be a great divide in opinions. I hate comparing fictional games with real life, but I find it crazy that we call others nonempathtic when they aren't empathic themselves. It's like the word "accidental" is worthless.
Its always a debate..
Do we feel bad for the lives lost and their families
or
Do we feel bad for the mental crumble of the one who never meant to kill and how their familes have to deal with that.
Are they worthy to walk this earth? Are they worthy to see the daylight again? Are they still human, too? Should they die, too? Is redemption possible?
Who knows. Peoples opinions won't change unless they themselves fall onto the opposing team. If they were to suffer the chaos of accidentally murdering someone or the grief of losing someone from an accidental murder.
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Red Nathan, the first Nathan we all experienced from Lis1. Damaged and doomed. Used and mentally obstructed. It's unfortunate things ended this way.
Blue Nathan, Appears in Before the slStorm and Max's alternate timeline. He is clean and hasn't touched drugs. He had not been involved in crimes or violence yet. In this alternate timeline, he has been somehow saved and kept away from mental destruction and Jefferson. We will never really know what drove Nathan towards this peaceful path, but I assumed that it was the kindness of Max that led him in the right direction. (Max somehow changed Victoria, too. With her demeanor being so gentle. I really am curious about the whole back story of that timeline... I think about it alot)
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