#do you ever just remember he was. fourteen when he ran away. and turned fifteen a week later

[kiyomitakada]

Maybe, Mello considers, this was a bad idea.

Not the leaving — obviously he had to leave Wammy's house someday — but. Hm. Maybe he ought to have packed more. Maybe he should have stolen a larger backpack. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

It's not like he can go back, though. That would be admitting defeat. Mello can't admit defeat. He's not sure it's normal, the way he feels when he loses at things. It doesn't bother the other kids the way it does him; it's like water off a duck's back for Matt, he knows that much. When Mello loses it hurts worse than being stabbed.

Which is good. It's a gift, honestly. Everyone knows you need drive to win, right?

He stares up at the ceiling. Mold, mildew. Wammy kids are taught first of all to question their assumptions. They catch enough murderers that they know most of 'em don't hang around in abandoned buildings. Still, "vacant hotel parking lot" is not the most glamorous place Mello has ever lived.

He glances at his watch.

Damn it. Five seconds past midnight. He didn't catch the moment the night turned over.

"Happy fucking birthday to me," he mutters to himself. He's fifteen as of… he checks again… almost a minute ago, and he's a runaway, which means he can swear now. That's one thing he's got Near beat in.

The thought makes him smile a little. He sits up and shouts, "Happy FUCKING birthday to me!"

His voice echoes back to him, faint and lost and more childlike than he wants it to be.

Mello waits. No one comes. He lies back down.

It's good that he left. He's proud of himself. He's practically an adult and he can make his own choices. He doesn't have any regrets. From his completely objective point of view, this is the best birthday Mello has ever had.

He closes his eyes, and dreams of nothing at all.

[williowdrake]

Ad Memoriam

We are always told that our days will be the greatest years of our lives. Ever since Rosalina Everburger was a child, she knew that she was different. The third daughter of sixteen, she was also more compassionate than her siblings. She had two younger brothers who were constantly getting bad coughs. The ones that came from the chest, the ones that normally leave the chest rattling with pain and leaving them wheezing for air.

By the time Rosalinda turned fourteen,-both her youngest brothers had long since expired,- and a man was decided for her. She ran away and did not return for a few days, she needed to vent. She was in love with Raul, a underfed boy who always smiled even when inside he could not. Rosalinda loved Raul with all her heart, being in a position where you can not choose your path to take. Eventually she did return home, her parents were relieved to know that she was okay. When she turned fifteen, her parents were murdered by someone who wanted revenge that she allowed in the house. When she turned twenty-one, she had her first child with her third husband. In the next five years, she had lost her husband and her oldest child.

Rosalinda always felt other people's pain and hunger. She tried to help when she could. Sometimes she would share her food rations, sometimes often to have them sleep in her house (or even in her parents house). She was very kind hearted. Her children inherited her kindness, so by the time she died at the age of twenty-six because of tuberculosis, her memory lives on.

Death has always been viewed as a scary person who loves taking people but that is not correct. Death is much like a friend. She welcomes us with open arms when it is our time.

Rosalinda chose to endure pain in order to help people cross over to the other side. Especially during the bombing and killing of Jews because of war. She always looks sad and pitiful when she takes someone. She views our lives and feels it as if she was still human again. As if she was still able to fully touch and hold people. She hates taking people, she feels as if when she takes them that they too will take a bit of her as well.

Death has always been a sensitive person with a large heart not afraid to help others. People may think that she was scary but after they get to know her, they begin to realize that she is a nice person who just misses who she used to be.She watches everyone like an angel, if there has ever been a dark feather fluff (down feather) around you, that is just her looking over you. But if you do not remember anything else about her, I would like you to remember that she is always watching and always there, she will always be with you, even in your darkest times, and she will be the friend you meet at the end of it all.

[lantsovsupremacist]

tiberias (cal) calore vii: illicit affairs

i’m only on the 3rd book so a) pls don’t spoil you’ll break my heart and b) my perception of the characters has only been developed to this point so if you come for me do it with the correct context lmao!!!

you knew what it was.

leaning your forehead against the cool metal post of your bed frame, a shaky exhale escaped from your lips. you wished just like that lost breath, you too could leave behind your body and with it, mind. a few minutes was all you needed, really; some semblance of relief.

even with your door shut tight with a deadbolt, the danger contaminating the palace lingered outside of it. you were not foolish enough to deny the cracks it could slip through. you would give any adversary a worthy fight, though. you could not afford not to, especially now.

for the first time in your life, you had truly encountered a problem that you could not use your abilities to maneuver out of. as much as your lungs screamed and your legs ached to run, you could not. being a swift, your first instinct was always to run. your speed always gave you the advantage in pursuit.

a familiar knock at the door broke you from your trance of pity. you stood up, sniffling as you ran the back of your hand across your nose and mouth. the action of clearing your throat sounded more like a whimper, but you managed as you gathered your skirts and headed for the door. you pushed down the nausea and wrung your hands to settle yourself.

your fingers shook on the deadlock before you pried the door open. the amount of weight on the wood, the length of the echo, and the momentary pause before the second, lighter knock gave away the identity of the person on the other side. you were in his arms before you could take another breath.

despite offering you the comfort you had craved all morning, his touch triggered the sobs caged in your chest. perhaps, it was because your heart was only safe in his hands. but, without the key to let them out, they messily tore through and paved their own path.

a year ago, your greatest worry would be the shame brought to your family on account of conceiving a child out of wedlock, let alone to the crowned prince. now, it seemed the impending war took precedence. you could have laughed; a red threatened your livelihood. a girl, really.

you were always careful, and it did not even happen very often. both you and the prince were very busy people, after all. send offs and reunions.

“we can fix this,” cal murmured into your hair.

“no, you don’t get it,” you broke out with a defiant shake of your head, “there’s nothing to fix.”

he pulled back, stroking your hair and pushing it behind your ears. your golden strategist was at a loss. your heart fell further into the pit of your stomach. you chewed on the inside of your lip, desperate to look anywhere but his eyes. yet, in the space of the same moment, you never wanted your gaze to leave his.

“i won’t leave you,” his warm hands ran up your arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake, “and i won’t let my father have a say in any of it.”

“it’s not the king i am frightened of,” you admitted with a sour taste in your mouth.

cal nodded with a grimace, “then i’ll be sure she is controlled until the end of the month.”

but who could control the queen who could twist minds? you chewed on the thought to avoid choking on it, forcing it down in distaste. both cal and yourself needed time neither of you had the privilege to claim.

cal communicated the importance of waiting until the traditional queenstrial to propose publicly. while the larger part of you agreed with this position, a small piece of your heart reserved for crippling doubt and senseless paranoia wondered if he was stalling for a different reason. if you could at any time expect desertion, it would be now but true to his word, cal had done no such thing—a loyal soldier until the end.

“and if they don’t chose me?” the secret fear you had harbored far before you had even become aware of your current condition felt a traitor to expose to the boy who had given you everything, kept every promise he could.

he studied your face carefully to ensure he held your full attention (though he was foolish to ever think otherwise), “make them, my dear.”

despite the event’s purpose of selecting a bride for the princes themselves, all of the noble houses knew the eldest had little choice in the matter. while your relationship with cal was not overt due to the inherently illicit nature of the affair, servants were known to talk. even in your deepest frustrations, you could not necessarily blame them.

his confidence in you was endearing but what other choice did you truly have?

you pulled away from his arms and lingering stare, wrapping your arms around your middle. pacing the length of the room, you suppressed a bitter laugh, “and then what? when a baby is born after less than eight months? and that’s to say we can persuade your father to rush a royal marriage.”

“let them talk,” his fingers twitched at his sides and you caught the scent of smoke, “nobody will be able to do anything.”

he thought he could protect from anything. sure, there would be little opportunity for any political action after a marriage was solidified but rumors would swirl. born into the pressures of eyes always watching you, they did not cut deep, but a queen needed a reputation demanding of respect. you did not want to be cruel but you decided that if need be, you could.

you wanted so terribly not to cry but willing it away only drew your focus to it more. you did not think the act made you weak but you would rather avoid the complete exhaustion it often caused. you were already so tired. but, some things were inevitable.

cal caught on before you did, “baby,” his voice was croaky, maybe laced his emotion of his own, “please don’t cry.”

you giggled at the irony. it was watery and your voice was nearly gone but it was there. confusion spread across cal’s features. you studied his face as he began to understand. a slow, crooked smile spread across his freckles and indicated the transition.

“suppose i could have chosen better words.”

“mhm.”

you had not noticed he was slowly rocking you in his arms. calm rushed into your senses. cal radiated your favorite kind of warmth. he monitored his body temperature around you, never too hot but always comfortable. it reminded you of home. he was your home. he smelled of pine and dying embers.

now nearing nineteen, you met the prince at fourteen. your elder sister married sooner than your parents expected, hastening your introduction into political meetings as a representative of the swift house of nornus.

who could blame a young and inexperienced teenage girl for falling in with a powerful, older boy who dared throw her an extra glance. what began as a benefit to palace life at fifteen soon turned into a vice. it was easy to tell yourself that you could stop any time you desired but you were addicted to the way he touched you, the way he tasted, the way he spoke your name.

for a while, you were foolish enough to believe he maybe even loved you. when you turned sixteen, you understood you were a pastime for the prince. so when at seventeen he told you he loved you, you did not believe him. he was gone for service quite a bit and your training schedule stole away any time for secret meetings when he was home. you began to purposefully avoid him but the withdrawal from the high that was cal left you dizzy.

when he did not make a move to find you, you tried even harder to move on. you had both made a mess of your hearts, left bleeding and shattered on the floors of the palace. you watched him escape the palace more often, always finding another place to be. one night, however, you followed him. you told yourself it was curiosity that caused you to slip out of your covers and into a warm coat, a coat you would not have needed if you left with him.

you caught up easily with your inhuman perception and speed and yet, he still saw you coming. he always did. that night, you wandered through a village and blended in. that night, you could be normal. he helped you clean up the mess between the two of you and things were different but the same again. they were better. you still took the long way to his room and pulled him into hidden corridors but the longing stares across meetings reignited.

you cleared your throat, “when you returned from delphie.” you tone held the pace of a simple comment, not the answer to the unspoken question pressing down on both of your minds.

cal turned his lips into his mouth and nodded, taking a deep breath, “i remember.”

it was a good memory, a good time. slow and gentle and loving. rane had worn you ragged sparring evangeline from sun up to sun down. you enjoyed the younger classes attending for the exposition but your muscles felt like weights lodged into your body and your breath had not yet fully returned after running circles around evangeline.

usually when one of you returned from an excursion outside of the palace, you wasted little time in attaching to every piece of each other. but, you were both exhausted—exhausted but greedy for the attention of the other. it had been a month ago, nearly to the day.

you and cal never discussed the prospect of children. even if one of you did not favor the idea, there was no choice in the matter. cal, as a future king, needed heirs, and if you wanted to be queen, you would have to bear them. but, you did want them and secretly, you knew cal did, too. it was more than a superficial requirement.

cal always looked at you, found you in a crowd, so it was hard to study him in secret. when he was with children, however, all attention transferred to those at his feet. it was then you saw him fully relax, the weight of his crown falling off his back. he loved them. you loved him more for it.

“and i don’t regret it,” he continued, dipping his head to place it gently on your shoulder. he kissed you neck once, twice, and then dropped his head back down.

[taexual]

i’d love you to stay but that’s simply insane // JJK (14)

  jungkook is an uncontrollable lead vocalist of the campus band, and you’re a goal-oriented top student that’s known his rich and complicated family since childhood. you don’t want anything to do with each other, until each other is exactly what you want to do.

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: college au

warnings: it’s time they got down to business… or isn’t it 😳

words: 6.2k

  chapter fourteen

You spent nearly the whole Saturday on the phone with Inna – because she refused to let you hang up until you gave her a play-by-play of last night’s party (and all that happened after) – and, by the time you finally ended the phone call, you were half-deaf from all of her—supportive but rather alarming—screaming.

And then, before you were ready for it, you and Jungkook had another Sunday night dinner at his parents’ house.

Admittedly, you thought you’d feel uncomfortable seeing his parents again after having learnt that they gave the push that convinced Jungkook to cut his ties with you off, but this feeling only clouded your mind for about fifteen minutes – or, in other words, for the period of time that it took for Jungkook to arrive from his house to your dormitory.

By the time he got here, all that was left in your mind – and in the air around you as soon as you opened the door to let him in – was ease. Routine.

Like you were supposed to spend every Sunday night with his family, holding hands with him under the dinner table. Like this wasn’t somehow weird or unusual, or even awkward. Like this was how it’d always been – with no seven-year-long gaps – and how it was always supposed to be.

Even touching Jungkook after the last time you’d seen him was, most surprisingly, not at all different from touching him before your last conversation. It still caused lighting bolts to explode inside of your stomach, and you were used to the sensation by now.

The only difference was that now you knew.

And knowing allowed you to truly come back to the life you were once a part of.

It felt like the last time you’d been to his house, you only allowed yourself to set one foot in, holding yourself back in case this would all go wrong and hurt you, but now you were ready to try again. Now you were ready to go into it with your whole body – open chest and all.

Sure, the possibility of getting hurt was still there – even if it didn’t feel like it when Jungkook joked about how his mom was more excited to see you than him – but sometimes you had to believe—not just hope—that nothing bad was going to happen, in order to make it true.

And truly nothing bad seemed on the horizon as Jungkook – true to the promise he’d made earlier this week – took you to the ice cream shop near his home as soon as dinner was over so you could pick up some desserts for yourselves. You found the chocolate-chip cookie-flavored ice cream – the one he knew you loved – and all was bliss.

“What is it with you,” you asked him when the two of you walked out of the shop and Jungkook was happily licking two different flavors on his cone – strawberry and mint, “and these flavors?”

“They’re good together,” he defended, pushing his cone towards you. “Want to try?”

You scrunched your nose. “No. I’ll stick with my chocolate—”

“Boring.”

“Hey,” you gave him a look, unaware of the chocolate around the corners of your lips and how utterly irresistible it made you look to him, “you’ve been picking the sweetest flavors of ice cream ever since we were kids. Don’t call me boring if I choose to postpone my diabetes diagnosis.”

“Neither of us is getting diabetes,” he said, absentmindedly extending his hand to wipe the chocolate from your lips and then sucking his thumb into his mouth.

You forgot what you were talking about for a moment as you looked away from him, your face burning hot at the sight, but your hands freezing cold from the ice cream.

Jungkook didn’t notice and carried on. 

“Do you remember when we used to collect those wooden popsicle sticks for no reason when we were kids?” he asked.

“I—yeah, I remember,” you said, taking a distracted bite your ice cream and then wincing when your temples froze. “I-I’m pretty sure we had a reason, though. You said you wanted to build a Trojan horse.”

“Oh, that’s right!” his face lit up just like it did that day when you were eight and you told him you’d help him build it. “I never had enough patience for a project like that. Why did you get on board with it?”

“Because you were really excited for it,” you replied as nonchalantly as you could manage – even though you could see it in his eyes when you looked at him, he did not think this was nothing; it was important to him – and then hid your face in your ice cream again.

Jungkook watched you for another moment, his heart beating peacefully but his mind buzzing with memories. You always ate your ice cream the same way – nearly all of it at once – ever since you were a little kid. He’d always made fun of you for it – not cruelly, because seeing the exhilaration in your eyes and your ice-cream-covered face always made him feel inexplicably warm inside – but now he wanted to grab your hand, stop you, and clean your lips with his own.

“I still have the popsicle sticks in my room,” he said while his ice cream melted in the paper cup in his hand.

“You do?” you asked, turning to look at him and making his suffering so much worse when you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “Why did you keep them all this time?”

Jungkook was glad you’d reached the gate of his house because that meant he could turn his back to you as he fumbled with the lock – it wasn’t a complicated mechanism, he just needed to look at something else for a bit – and tried to get his lungs to function properly again.

“I don’t know,” he said, finally opening the gate. “I guess I was hoping to still build that horse one day.”

You scoffed at this – Jungkook gave you a dignified look in return – and lingered by the gate for a second before you realized that he’d stopped to let you enter first.

“I’m not mocking,” you explained in response to the look on his face. “It’s actually great that you kept it.”

His mouth dried up when he closed the gate and turned around to walk towards the house before noticing how warm your gaze was. Then, to avoid you reading through him and figuring out what he was feeling, he stuffed a mouthful of ice cream into his mouth.

“It is?” he asked with a slight lisp and then hissed as the freezing sensation went straight to his brain.

“Yeah,” you nodded, a more wary look in your eyes now that Jungkook was in pain from the self-inflicted brain-freeze. “It shows that you’re waiting until you’re mature enough to be able to invest your time into something that requires a lot of patience.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily – you assumed it was from the cold – and lead you past the impeccably-kept bushes in his front-yard, and towards the entrance into his house.

“Yeah, no,” he said, finishing his ice cream in a few large bites that must have very literally frozen his throat. He tried not to let it show as he said in a very breathy voice, “I don’t think it’s that deep.”

You shrugged your shoulders, slowly finishing your own ice cream as you brought your free hand over the vines that ran alongside the front wall of his house. “Maybe you don’t realize it.”

“Or maybe I kept the sticks because they reminded me of you.”

You stopped in front of his porch steps, unsure if you heard him right.

Swallowing the final bite of the chocolate-filled waffle cone, you looked at him in confusion – that was easy to mistake for disbelief, “hmm?”

Jungkook climbed up the steps – two at a time because he was always too impatient but, this time, also because he felt like he’d spoken too soon and he needed to put more distance between himself and you – and did not turn around to look at you until he fished his keys out from the pocket of his jeans, and unlocked the door.

“Yeah,” he said then, only giving you a glance as he opened the door and nodded his head inside, waiting for you to walk in first. “I still have a framed picture of us from middle school on my dresser.”

“Really?” you asked, looking at him even though he was now obviously avoiding your eyes.

There was even more surprise in your voice and it stung – you shouldn’t have been surprised about the fact that he cared enough to keep pictures that immortalized your friendship; but you were, and that was his fault – making him feel more self-conscious than he already was.

“Yeah,” Jungkook said and, smiling nervously, he stretched his hand behind his neck to scratch a nonexistent itch. “You want to see it?”

“Oh,” you were still standing on his doorstep while he was inviting you to his room. “Sure, yeah.”

You’d been to his room before – many times, in fact – so you hated the way the hairs on your skin stood up in anticipation. This wasn’t supposed to be any different from any other time you’d been in his room – was it? – and yet, you couldn’t help but remember that this was what you’d told yourself the last time you’d been there, too.

You two weren’t even the only people in his room that day – to celebrate the end of middle school, he’d invited his whole class – but, in your memory, everyone else was blurred and so dim that, sometimes, when you thought back on that day, you weren’t sure anyone else was even there. Or anywhere, for that matter. It’d felt like it was just you and him.

Clearing his throat, Jungkook suddenly brought you back to the present – and helped you realize just how hot your body was in spite of the excited shivers that ran down your back when you remembered his invitation – and you blinked before staggering inside.

Unaware of the several trips down memory lane that you’d taken while simply standing by his door, Jungkook extended a hand for you to take – and you took it, the movement automatic, as though you were in a well-rehearsed dance – and lead you towards the staircase.

You walked into his father on your way up the stairs, but he was on the phone so he merely gave his son a nod – and a smile for you – and then went on his way.

“You know, usually,” Jungkook said, sneering at the dismissal from his father, “parents would tell their kids to keep the door of their room open.”

Shivering again – but acting like you were most certainly not affected by the feeling of his palm against yours – you cocked an eyebrow at him.

“They would,” you said, licking your lips in an unconscious attempt to conceal the effect his not-at-all-innocent observation had on you, “but you’re twenty-three years old.”

He peered at you over his shoulder as he lead you down the second-floor hallway – nearly tripping over his feet when he saw you lick your lips – and then turned towards his room.

“Yes,” he said, “thank you for the newsflash,” and, stopping outside of his bedroom, he explained, “I meant, my parents never said that sort of thing to me. Not once.”

“Oh,” you caught on and lowered your eyes. “So, you brought a lot of people over, then?”

Jungkook smirked – you didn’t see this at first, but, when you raised your head again a minute later, confused by his silence, the smirk was still there – obviously very pleased to hear the not particularly well concealed shades of jealousy in your voice.

“None, actually. You’re the only one of my friends who’s been here,” he said then. “And I’ve already told you, I’ve never dated before.”

You were still unsure if he was pulling your leg. “Well, you don’t have to be dating people to bring them over to your—”

He pulled you into his room by your hand, not letting you finish your question. He closed the door and, this time, you two were really the only people here.

“I’m not like that,” he told you then, “but I understand where you’re coming from.”

You weren’t sure what you were asking him when you spoke, “you do?”

“Yeah,” he said, putting the paper cup of ice cream – that was as empty as your mind when Jungkook kept on holding your hand even though, now that you were in his room, there was no reason for it – on his desk, and then leaning against it to look at you. “It’s a nice campus tale, me constantly having girls over. But the only times I did sleep with someone, I didn’t do it in a place I lived. Nothing against that, I’m just a private person in that way, I guess.”

“Okay,” you nodded your head once and turned away from him, choosing to watch the starved pigeons, which crept around his backyard, through the window. “That sure makes your reputation better.”

Jungkook snickered, reluctantly letting go of your hand – but only because you were unconsciously pulling away from him – and attempting to explain, “I don’t mean to say I have sex outside—”

“No, I-I…” you cut him off – your flustered state intrigued him further – as you walked over to the dresser that he’d mentioned before. “I get what you mean. It’s an interesting version of “don’t shit where you eat”, but—”

He laughed, the sound taking you by surprise and cutting you off.

“I didn’t think of it that way,” he said, his eyes glistening with humor. “But the saying fits, I guess.”

He plopped down on his bed as he said this and the conversation about how many people he’d slept with had run out – which was good, since you hadn’t braced yourself for a discussion about your experiences in this particular area.

Instead, you took a minute to take the rest of his room in; it had changed so little since the last time you’d seen it. But it was the picture – that was right there where he said it was – that really took you back to the time when you spent nearly every afternoon in this room.

Jungkook smiled as he watched you reminisce, but not because he liked to see the way your features softened as you admired the picture from your childhood, but because you fit in this room far better than he did.

“Are you here a lot?” you asked as if having read his mind.

“How do you mean?”

“Well, you told me you moved out a while ago…” you said, “and the room looks just as I remember it, so I just—”

“Oh. No, I’m—I’m not here a lot,” he admitted. “But I do come when I visit my parents.”

“Which is once a year?”

He acknowledged the jab by pursing his lips and retorting, “a lot more than that now that I have you with me.”

You hummed in response but your mind was already elsewhere as you pointed at the ceremoniously locked nightstand in the corner next to his bed, “what’s this?”

It looked so eccentric and out-of-place – not the stand itself, but the chain that ran along both sides of it, a trusty lock in the middle – that you couldn’t help but feel curious.

Jungkook, however, leaped on all fours and crawled over his bed to guard the nightstand with his hands – as if you were Cyclops and were about to burn through the stand with a laser beam from your eyes – a defensive look on his face.

“It’s nothing,” he said even though this was obviously the most interesting piece of furniture in his whole room, “just a decoration.”

“With chains—?” you tried to ask but Jungkook jumped back to his previous position and patted the spot on the bed next to himself.

“Come on,” he said. “Sit. Do you remember the last time you were here?”

He knew this was the only way to change the topic – and the defeated look on your face confirmed his expectations – but, when you remained standing across the room, he patted the bed again, more eagerly this time.

“We celebrated our graduation from middle school with the other kids,” he said because you didn’t show any other sign to let him know whether you remembered or not. Jungkook could feel that you did, but, regardless, he still continued, “we played Truth or Dare. Remember?”

It was ridiculous he even had to ask that. Some days – and even more frequently now that you were talking again – your middle school graduation was all you could think about, even all of these years later.

“Barely,” you replied but you both knew it was a lie. “It was a long time ago, lots have happened since—”

“Someone dared you to kiss me,” he said with an innocent expression on his face – because he was just refreshing your memory – but it was quickly replaced by an amused grin when your eyes widened in surprise – not because you were shocked he’d said it, but because saying it aloud conjured up a much clearer image of that day; probably because now you knew that the memory of that day was as fresh in his mind as it was in yours.

“Sure,” you said, laughing weakly to hide how warm your hands, your face, and your whole body was. “That was a thing that, uh… happened.”

“So,” Jungkook was grinning but it was only an attempt to conceal his own anxiety – if he stopped grinning, he was going to have to handle the rapid beating of his heart inside of his chest, and he wasn’t quite sure how to do that just yet. “Truth or dare?”

The question sobered you up from the intoxicating memory and you narrowed your eyes at him.

“We’re not fourteen and in middle school anymore,” you said. “What are you doing?”

“Come on,” he urged you again, “truth or dare?”

You knew better than to insist he dropped this – there were barely any people more demanding and frustrating than him; you couldn’t even name one – so you didn’t waste your breath trying.

Groaning because you knew he wouldn’t be pleased with your answer – just like you weren’t pleased with him even suggesting this game – you said, “truth.”

Jungkook smiled knowingly because – just like you’d predicted – he was absolutely expecting this and had, therefore, prepared accordingly.

“Who was your first kiss?” he asked without wasting a second.

God, this was going to be a long night, you started to realize. Now you weren’t sure if the ice cream was even worth it – maybe you should have left after dinner.

Meeting his expectant gaze, you tried your hardest to convey all of your hatred for this game through your eyes – but Jungkook wasn’t watching them, he was watching your lips as he waited for your answer – and then you finally said, “you.”

You were almost expecting triumphant fanfares to go off somewhere outside of his house but, instead of that, Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, indicating that your answer had surprised him – even though it really shouldn’t have; you may not have been his first kiss, but you had never even wanted to kiss anyone who wasn’t him.

He was obviously going to inquire about this further – but what was there to ask, honestly? – but you were categorically not going to let him.

“Truth or dare?” you fired.

Jungkook closed his mouth, decided – begrudgingly – that this was a fair play, and then, true to himself, replied, “dare.”

“Show me your mysterious nightstand.”

He looked disappointed and more than ready to refuse – good, now he knew how you felt – but got up from the bed nevertheless.

He walked over to his desk first and got a singular key out from under the fake-bottom of the top drawer – courtesy of his Death Note phase – before slowly sliding it into the lock on the nightstand across the room. Turning it until you both heard a pleasant click, Jungkook took the chains off and huffed as he looked at you before doing anything else.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting to see inside so you couldn’t brace yourself for anything but, as Jungkook opened the door of the nightstand, you realized there was no possible way for you to prepare for this anyway.

There were piles of pictures inside – polaroids, of you and him at the lakehouse your families used to rent out every summer – old cut-outs from the school newspaper, showing you, as the president of the Student Council, and the principal of the school. There were the old dog tags you two had gotten together at a fair one spring – because he kept accidentally ripping every friendship bracelet you two ever had – and there were the remote-controlled cars that you’d gotten him for his tenth birthday – you’d been saving up for them that whole year.

Scanning the contents of the nightstand – while Jungkook watched you, biting his lip – you noticed that he had a copy of almost every single movie you’d ever shown him – the DVD of The Sixth Sense, of course, resting at the very front – and, more than that, he had post-it notes glued to all of them with notes ranging from as obscure as, “She said it’s good” to direct quotes from you, “She said I would like it because it’s violent enough to keep me at the edge of my seat but it also has meaning. She smiled a lot when she told me about it.”

And then, as if your heart wasn’t already beating fast enough, you saw the popsicle sticks on the very bottom of the nightstand. Most of them were just scattered there, long forgotten, but some were glued together in what was supposed to be the base of the Trojan horse you two had never gotten to build.

You pulled back, feeling like every time you inhaled, a new memory returned to you, each heavier than the one before. When you finally removed your eyes from the mementos of the past and looked at him, your chest was so full, it was weighing you down.

“You—” you started but the words got lost on their way out of your throat. You tried again, “you kept all of this—”

“Of course,” he said, closing the nightstand now that you weren’t looking at it anymore – he didn’t bother with the chain – and then returning to his previous spot on the bed. “I couldn’t bring it all with me when I left the house because I didn’t know where I was going to go. And I couldn’t leave it all hanging around my room because… well, because I didn’t want my parents to turn the room into a home gym and throw everything out.”

“B-but why—”

“Because it’s important to me,” he replied, knowing what you were going to say, “because these are the things that you and I did together. It’s us. You and me. I kept everything that reminded me of you.”

His words soothed the old wounds but it opened up new ones, too, because, in the seven years that you didn’t have any contact with him, you’d done everything you could to erase him from your life completely – throwing anything that reminded you of him out, until your room and your whole house was void of any connection to him – while he did the complete opposite and attempted to preserve as much of your past friendship as it was possible.

“My turn,” Jungkook said, his voice shakier than it’d been before. “Truth or dare?”

You didn’t want to play anymore. You felt like you physically couldn’t play anymore.

“Jungkook—”

“Truth or dare?” he repeated, more persistent this time.

Sighing because this was hopeless, you replied, “truth.”

He shook his head. “You can’t pick truth twice in a row.”

You should have seen it coming and yet you still felt a pang of annoyance that completely broke you out of the blissful state the contents of the nightstand had put you in before.

“Yes, I can,” you protested. “You just watched me do it.”

He didn’t give in. “That’s against the rules.”

“There are no rules in this game.”

“Yes, there are.”

You rolled your eyes. “Who made them?”

“Me,” Jungkook said, crossing his legs to find a more comfortable position. “My house, my rules. You can’t pick truth twice in a row.”

“Fine, you dick,” you replied – he almost smiled at the name – and settled,  “dare, then.”

It was almost funny, really, how easily the words came to Jungkook as he dared you, “kiss me.”

If you’d have turned your head to the old clock on his wall by the desk, you would have noticed how the arrows had stopped – they stopped long before tonight but, in that moment only, they showed the right time. Almost as if Jungkook wasn’t the only one who’d been waiting to say this to you. Everything in his room had been waiting, too.

Jungkook thought you’d do it -- he thought you’d turn your head, look away. Look for an excuse to back out of this. 

That’s why he didn’t kiss you but gave you an opening to do it yourself, using the game as an excuse. And, in the quiet moment that passed, he waited for your eyes to leave his, refusing the opportunity. But they never did.

You didn’t think you could tear your eyes away from his yearning gaze – just like gravity prevented you from floating off into space, the force of his eyes prevented you from pulling away. Instead, they pulled you in. 

And so you kissed him again, seven years later.

It was just a touch first – you barely registered the feeling of his lips against yours – but, before a chance to pull away even presented itself, the touch melted, locking your lips together.

He tasted like the strawberry mint gum he kept in his car.

He tasted like the flavor of the ice cream he’d picked today.

And, although you’d refused to try it when he offered outside of the ice cream shop, you couldn’t deny it when you were kissing him – strawberry and mint went so incredibly well together.

He tasted like the best friend you’d day-dreamed of kissing before you went to sleep at night.

He tasted like everything you’d ever wanted.

And, belatedly, the triumphant fanfares did go off somewhere in the distance – although it could have just been the sound of your hearts, calling out to each other through your chests – but the only sound you could hear clearly was the sound of his mouth moving against yours as he deepened the kiss, standing up on his knees on the bed and gently pushing you forwards until you landed on your back and he was leaning on his elbows on either side of you.

There were many things you knew about Jungkook – your knowledge coming from all of the days you’d spend together as children – but there were also several things that you didn’t know.

For one thing, you didn’t know what his kisses felt like when there was no one watching.

And now you did as his tongue tenderly brushed against yours, growing more impatient by the second, until you had to hold onto his chest with one hand and wrap the other one around his neck to prevent yourself from completely melting under him.

Furthermore, you didn’t know how long he’s waited for this.

And now you did as his warm body pressed against yours, freezing cold and almost screaming in the parts where he couldn’t physically touch you.

Kissing him felt relieving because you’d waited for this, too, and uselessly tried to convince yourself that you didn’t need his arms around you as much as you did.

It felt freeing because now you could finally admit to yourself how much you’d wanted to kiss him and have him catch his breath against your neck before bringing his lips back to yours again.

But it also felt dangerous because you couldn’t stop – you didn’t want to stop – and, not being in control of your surroundings and, most importantly, of yourself, was something that you knew would have dire consequences. You needed to prepare for this beforehand, consider every possible outcome and—

But then Jungkook pushed one of his thighs between your legs, kissing you harder—deeper—and you no longer cared about being in control of the situation. 

Sighing into the kiss – until he nearly passed out because he’d imagined this before and, for half a moment, he was afraid this was all happening in his head again – you abandoned all of your inhibitions and held onto him tighter, kissing him back with matching intensity.

And that moment – the one moment when you gave in to him completely – was precisely when someone knocked on his door.

However, even though you had both heard it, neither of you reacted to it, your mouths not pausing for a moment and his fingers never leaving the spot under your shirt – right above your waist – where they’d come to rest.

A moment later, you thought you’d only imagined the knock – the sound was already so far away in the distance, it didn’t even feel like you’d really heard it.

In his case, precisely because this – kissing on his bed in his childhood room – was actually real and not just a figment of his imagination, Jungkook simply assumed that everything else had to be happening in some other world where he wasn’t kissing you. In a world that didn’t exist. In a world that didn’t matter.

And so, naturally, he didn’t pay attention to any foreign sounds, focusing on the feeling of your skin, your lips, your touch, you, instead.

But then the knock came again. Shameless, truly, because it had to be obvious what was happening inside; it was impossible not to hear someone knock on the door of a room that was as empty as Jungkook’s bedroom.

This time, you both paused. But Jungkook – who hadn’t lived with his parents in a long time and, therefore, couldn’t remember their habits – was curious if, perhaps, the knocking would go away if unanswered, and so he went back to kissing you a second later.

Much to his—and yours—irritation, however, it didn’t seem like the knocking was going to stop. If anything, it started to get more intense and your hand – the one that pulled him closer to you by his shirt – ended up having to push him away slightly.

“Jungkook?” his mother’s uncertain voice reached your ears, but when you saw his face when he pulled away from you, you felt like you may as well have imagined that sound, too, because the sight of his puffy lips and wide, blown-out pupils made you lean forward to connect your lips again, if only for just a moment.

Jungkook was convinced you hadn’t yet grasped the effect you had on him; he couldn’t just stop kissing you out of the blue like that. And so he leaned back in, pressing his lips to yours until he felt you kiss him back. And then you broke the spell by turning your face towards the door as you tried to speak.

“It’s your mom,” you said, completely out of breath. “You should open it.”

Growling with frustration, he pushed himself off of you and climbed off the bed, not giving you a second to get up and make your activities less obvious before he was throwing the door open a lot more aggressively than he’d intended.

“Oh, I wasn’t sure if you two were back yet,” his mother said, seemingly unfazed by her son’s obvious frustration. “I just got the pie out of the oven, so the dessert is ready. Your dad and I were waiting downstairs, are you two—”

“We got ice cream,” he reminded his mother in a surprisingly gentle tone – even if his body remained stoic – and then glanced over his shoulder at you. “Unless you’d like to grab a slice?”

“Uh, I—thank you,” you said, standing up from the bed and desperately attempting to fix your hair while still remaining polite, “but I still feel full from the ice cream. A-and your dinner was wonderful, too, of course.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” his mother smiled at you and then gave her son a nod. “If you feel like getting tea with us, we’ll be in the kitchen, okay? Sorry I barged in on you like that, you didn’t tell me when you came back home, so I didn’t—”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jungkook said, still in a hurry. “We ran into dad, though. He knew we were back.”

“He did?” this seemed to surprise her. “Huh. He didn’t tell me.”

Huh, indeed. Maybe his father had his own ways of making sure Jungkook kept the door of his bedroom open.

“Well, no matter,” his mother added. “I’ll leave now. Sorry again!”

She smiled at you once more before she walked back to the staircase. You couldn’t tell if her eyes had been glittering because of the few glasses of wine that she’d had with dinner, or because she was able to tell what had been going on in this room before she came in.

Or maybe she was just happy that you were both home, safe and sound, and hanging out in his room – just like back in the day.

“Well,” Jungkook said after closing the door of his room. He wasn’t trying to conceal his disappointment, “that was my mom and her perfect timing.”

You chuckled. “Ah, she could have come in later. That would have been worse.”

“Yeah?” he liked to hear that you’d been imagining what could have happened later, as he walked back to you. “What do you think we’d have been doing?”

“Anything,” you replied, ignoring the fratboy in him but allowing his arms to comfortably wrap themselves around your waist. You replied to his smile with one of your own but did not dare to close the distance between you, only choosing to carefully rest your hands on his shoulders. “Do you know what time it is?”

Jungkook groaned, knowing that you must have understood his mother’s arrival as a sign that it was time for you to go home. “No, don’t start with the time!”

“What?” you asked, surprised by his agitation. “Why not?”

“Because it’s always the time that interrupts us,” he said, knowing how pointless it was but still cursing the time, the place, and almost the entire universe. “The night always ends before I’m ready for it.”

“Are you ever ready for it?” you asked but, in all actuality, you were asking him something else.

“No,” he said, answering both of your questions. “I’m never ready to leave you. You could stay over, you know.”

He’d once called you the most ambitious person he’d ever known, and yet there was nothing you wanted more than to stay here. Stay for a night. For however many nights it was possible.

But there were too many things to think about, too many outcomes to consider. You’d barely grown used to your relationship as old-friends-who-were-fake-dating before you kissed – mostly unprovoked and largely because you wanted to, not because he’d dared you to – and opened up the door to a whole new world.

“I…” you spoke, swallowing slowly. You knew you were someone who had to learn how to maneuver the magical carpet first, before hopping on it and flying away. That was who you were. “Thank you. But I think it’d be best if I went home tonight.”

Jungkook nodded, knowing and fully expecting you to say this. He wasn’t going to object because you’d already taken a huge step—a leap, really—over your own self when you responded and kissed him, and he didn’t want to pressure you into giving in and making any similar decisions before you were ready, no matter how much he wanted you to make them. No matter how much he wanted you.

But he was still going to give you a hard time about this. Because that was who he was.

“Leaving me wanting more, yeah?” he teased.

“Not leaving you,” you said. “Just leaving.”

He loved the way this sounded like a promise – and he would keep replaying your words in his head until the next time he saw you – but he didn’t show it, taking you by the hand instead.

“Let me take you home then,” he said and then threatened, “you should know before we go, though – I am fully determined to make you feel bad for abandoning me when I needed you the most.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect anything else from you,” you replied, making him smile in appreciation before leaning in to press a quick—almost chaste—kiss to your cheek.

He pulled away to open the door of his room and then walked outside, taking small steps and deep sighs, his theatrics always very sharp.

“Off I go,” Jungkook began, “starting my journey of loneliness—”

“Is that from a song?” you asked, interrupting his improvised monologue as you followed after him.

“It’s from my life,” he replied shortly. You tried to suppress your laughter and he continued, more dramatic now that he’d noticed he was entertaining you, “off I go, into the dark cavern of solitude. All by myself, all over again...”

Each one of your involuntary giggles only encouraged him, so Jungkook kept this up all the way to your dorm and then he found a way to keep going over text messages, spamming you with his Shakespearean delusions until you threatened to block his number if he didn’t stop.

And then, after testing you for another half an hour, he finally did stop and went to sleep – alone, but with the memory of you that was so strong, it was like you were there with him.

keep reading | masterlist

[forever-rogue]

#6 on prompt list #5 for Frankie please, thank you bye😌

Prompt: “You were supposed to be my friend. That’s all...that’s all I asked of you. To be my friend - to care-”

Did someone order from pain? Angst? Perhaps Fluff? Here ya go!

Frankie x Fem! Reader; no warnings

Frankie Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

You sighed heavily as you sat in front of the television, watching the third - fourth? - mindless movie on Netflix, and while you were tired and felt strung out, your mind was wide awake. Like the frantic beating of a heart and the incessant tick tock of an aging clock your mind went back and forth from point a to w to d to l. 

Every thing, every word, every breath, every emotion was glued in your mind. It was like a recurring nightmare, continually plaguing you, but even that could be relieved by the light of day. This? This never seemed to go away. It haunted your dreams, causing you to wake up in tears and a layer of sweat, but during the day it occupied every part of your mind as well - every waking thought. 

Breaking up with Frankie Morales had been the worst moment of your life.

Except it hadn’t been a breakup...not really, but yeah?

If it wasn’t a real break up, then why did it hurt more than any other actual breakup you had gone through?

But best friend breakups counted, right? Surely, they must have. Or it definitely wouldn’t have hurt this bad. 

Then again, Frankie wasn’t just a  friend...he had never been just a friend. He was always much more than that, except he didn’t know that. And now he never would, because the two of you were no longer speaking.

It had been two weeks, three days, and fourteen hours since your heart had been ripped from your chest and you felt like nothing but a gaping hole was in your chest. It still hurt now just as badly as when your heated words were first exchanged. 

When would it stop hurting? You hoped it would soon. It couldn’t keep hurting like this, right? 

Turning off the television with a huff, you decided to try and get some sleep. It was still early, and night had barely fallen, some faint bits of gold and orange still visible in the distance. Yet, you were exhausted, mentally and physically and hoped that perhaps it would weigh heavily enough on you that sleep would come easily and dream free.

Shuffling back into your bedroom, you stripped off your extra sweater and climbed into bed, pulling the covers tightly around you. There was something comforting about the warmth being wrapped around you, almost as if trying to shield you from the horrors of the outside world.

Closing your eyes, you tried to conjure up your happiest things in order to pull in nothing but good thoughts to occupy your mind.

Unfortunately even that didn’t seem to work - all your happiest memories, in one way or another circled back to Frankie. Even if he was just some background force at work, he was there. It always all seemed to come back to him. 

And somehow, as you drifted off to sleep the happy bits morphed into the last heated moments you exchanged with Frankie.

“I’m doing this for you!”

“You’re being selfish - you don’t care at all!

“Of course I do! I’m your best friend. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t love you!”

“If you loved me you’d be supporting me, not trying to sabotage my relationship.”

“She doesn’t care about you, Frankie! I know she doesn't. Please just listen to me -”

“You were supposed to be my friend. That’s all...that’s all I asked of you. To be my friend - to care-”

“I do , Francisco, more than you will ever know. I love you and that’s why you need to hear this from me.”

“I think you’re lying to me. You just don’t like her.”

“I would never-!”

“Get out. This is over.”

You startled out of your dream and sat up, breathing heavily, and finding half dried tears on your face. You reached up and wiped them away, resting your face in your hands in order to ground yourself and regain some sort of balance.

But before that could happen - a loud, booming knock came at your door. You almost jumped out of your skin as you pondered what to do. Glancing at your phone you saw it was nearing one in the morning. Against your better judgment, your sleep deprived self hustled out of bed and grabbed your discarded sweater, slipping it on as you walked to the door. 

Without even checking to see who was at the door, you swung it open. As soon as you saw who the late night intruder was, your jaw dropped and almost hit the floor. There was Frankie, drenched in the frigid rain, his eyes glossy and red rimmed almost as though he had been crying. 

“Frankie?” you stepped aside to let him but he shook his head and stood there, wordlessly staring at you. His dark curls were wet and sticking about wildly as his lips trembled - whether from the cold or his emotions, you couldn’t tell, “Frankie, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” it was so soft, so gentle that you almost didn’t hear it. You met his eyes, those damned soft eyes and they conveyed everything that seemed to be stuck in his throat, “I should have listened to you.”

“Frankie, please, it’s pouring rain! Come inside, please,” you reached for his head but he refused to move, “what’s wrong?”

“I know I ruined everything, but I have to tell you this first and foremost. Even if you never speak to me again because of the jerk I was,” he was starting to ramble, but you waited for him to go, offering him a soft, reassuring nod. He took a deep breath and stilled himself before inhaling and exhaling deeply, “I’m in love with you.”

“Just come inside and dry off and  - what?” you reached for his arms but stopped yourself when you realized what he said. You looked back at him and his expression was so nervous, so expectant, and all consuming, “what did you say?”

“I have fucked everything up,” he admitted slowly, “I got mad at you for no reason, and I shouldn’t have pushed you away. And I know you might never forgive me, and I don’t know if I deserve forgiveness, but I had to tell you.”

“You have a girlfriend,” you pointed as he fiercely shook his head, “w-what’s going on?”

“I broke up with her,” he confessed, “right after we...fought. I realized you were right. I talked to her and she admitted that she never loved me - she’d been...cheating. She said it didn’t matter because I was in love with you anyways.”

“Francisco-”

“And she’s right,” he met your eyes and grew nervous as your eyes were wide, but he was unable to read what you were thinking, “it’s always been you. I...I pushed and pushed and pushed you away because I was afraid. I’ve always been afraid of what would happen if I told you,..a life without you is not worth living. And if I had to always keep you as a friend and nothing more, it would have been okay. But now…”

“How long?” you blinked back your own tears as you tried to keep your head and your heart straight and not completely lose your grip. There was no way he was confessing his love for you; if nothing else, you always pictured that it would be the other way around. But here he was, in the pouring rain at your doorstep in the middle of the night, “how long have you known?”

“Ever since that day, when we were in college,” he started, “it was with that chemistry experiment that burned me. You were so upset and mad that I was so careless and hurt myself and you bandaged and cleaned my hand up and then made me rest and take a nap. When I woke up you yelled me at some more and told me to be more careful. It was just a little acid burn, so small and insignificant, but you were so damn mad and upset. I knew since that day.”

“That was fifteen years ago,” you remembered the day so clearly, “all this time?”

“Always,” he admitted as you stood there and watched him. A million things were running through your mind at once, and at the end of it all, you didn’t know how to deal. So you watched him in silence, and eventually he gave you a small nod, along with another mumbled apology before turning to walk away, down the dark driveway to his truck. 

Before he reached the door, you called his name and ran after him, unable to let him go like that. Things weren’t going to just be over with him - not like this. 

“Frankie,” you stopped when you got to him, watching a confused expression cross his features. You were almost instantly soaked, but none of it mattered, not now. You needed to do this for yourself and him, “you hurt me, Frankie. Your words stung.”

“I know,” he agreed, “I told you I was a jerk and don’t deserve forgiveness, but I had to see you one last time.”

“You hurt me,” you said anything, “and it will take a moment to get over because I’ve been thinking of nothing but you for the last two weeks.”

“I don’t-”

“But I’m in love with you, too,” you finally got it off of your chest after all these years. It felt like the weight of the world was off of your shoulders as a gentle moment of quiet, despite the pounding of the rain, fell over the two if you, “have been for a long time too. That’s why I always wanted nothing but the best for you, even if it wasn’t me.”

“You...you love me?” he seemed shy as a bit of color rose into his cheeks, “I don’t know…”

“We've got a lot to talk about,” you informed him, “but right now, I really, really just want you to kiss me. I didn’t come after you in the pouring rain not to have a completely cliche movie moment.”

“M-may I?” he asked gently as you nodded, unable to keep the grin off of your face, “may I kiss you? Finally?”

“Yes,” you breathed out as he kissed. Finally.

It didn’t matter that the both of you were soaked and crying, and it was in the wee hours of the morning. 

The only thing that mattered was this. Everything else could wait for now.

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[wandas-sunshine]

Apologies (Kinktober Day 3)

Kinktober Schedule

Prompt: Dom/sub Dynamics

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader

Word Count: 1,947

Warnings: SMUT 18+, Dom/sub dynamics, heavy Sir kink, corporeal punishment, oral sex (male receiving)

A/N: I don’t think I ever specified a gender for the reader, but there are uses of the terms kitten and babydoll if that ruins it for anyone. Tag list for kinktober is still open!

You’d been sitting on the sofa when Stephen came home. You could tell just by the sound of his steps that it hadn’t been a good day. You sat your book down and stood up quickly to scamper to his side.

“I’ve missed you,” You murmured, taking his coat to hang it up. “I made your favorite for dinner.”

Stephen hummed out a low rumble in his throat. A tiny smile crossed his lips, and your stomach fluttered at the small accomplishment.

“Thank you, kitten. I’ll eat later, I have some work to finish up.” He slipped past you, and you pouted at his back. That wasn’t fair, and, truth be told, it worried you. He’d been working himself too much. You trailed after him and lingered in the doorway.

“But Stephen,” You half whined. The man turned to you with an impatient huff. “You’ve already worked 16 hours today.”

Stephen set his things down and settled into a chair.

“And there’s more to be done. Now some quiet, please.” His words were final, and you were usually so obedient for him. But with your Dom’s wellbeing at stake, you had one more trick up your sleeve.

The step into the Dom/sub dynamic of your and Stephen’s relationship wasn’t the first one. You’d been together more than a year before you really gave it a thought. But now, it was all natural.

You slipped quietly into your shared room and fetched the cabinet key that laid on Stephen’s bedside table. You unlocked the cabinet tucked away into the closet and let the doors open. Inside hung all of the fun little items you and Stephen had collected. Floggers, paddles, whips, and riding crops hung on the inside. A few toys were neatly displayed, the rest organized in the drawers. But you weren’t looking for any of those. No, your coveted item was hanging right at the center of everything.

You plucked your collar down and grinned. It was a simple little thing, black leather with a heavy ring in front and a buckle at the back, but it always filled you with pride. You didn’t need anything fancy, just a reminder that you belonged to Stephen.

You made your way back to where he was working, moving to kneel at his side, your collar resting in your lap. He barely spared you a glance. You shifted closer, your hands moving to rest on his thighs, still clutching your collar.

“Did I say you could touch me?” He questioned, voice steady and uninterested. But you knew you’d won. That was only a rule during playtime. You pulled your hands back, but you left the collar settled in his lap. He picked it up, leaving his work to run his fingers over the smooth leather.

“Is there a reason you’re acting up?” He questioned. You hung your head.

“I miss you, Sir...You’ve been too busy for me.” You confessed, resisting the urge to fidget, instead keeping your palms flat on your thighs. Your words were enough to make Stephen realize how little attention he’d really been giving you, and a pit opened up in his chest. What kind of Dom was he if he didn’t spare enough time for his pretty little submissive?

“I’m sorry, babydoll. I’ll make it up to you.” He reached down to gently stroke your head. “But you can’t be breaking the rules to get Sir’s attention, can you?”

You shook your head. He patted his lap and you stood slowly. Ever impatient, he guided you to sit in his lap.

You relaxed instantly, just having missed feeling him against you. He carefully fastened the collar and gave it an experimental tug.

“How’s that feel?” He murmured in your ear. You shivered and beamed, eyes falling shut.

“Good. Thank you, Sir.” You hummed out. Stephen didn’t answer. Instead, he nudged you back onto your own two feet.

“Good. But you still need to be taught to behave. Bedroom, get the bamboo paddle.” He ordered. You squeaked. The bamboo was your favorite, and the smirk on Stephen’s face said he knew that too.

“Yes, Sir.” You scurried back to your room with a grin on your lips. You plucked the paddle from it’s hook and laid it on the bed. With a final glance at the door, you knelt on the bed beside it.

It felt like ages before Stephen came in, but you didn’t move a muscle. You could see the proud gleam in his eye, and a wave of arousal washed through you.

“Strip.” You stood and stripped your clothes off, leaving them folded nearly on the chair beside the bed like you’d been taught. Finally, you were standing bare in front of him, your hands clasped behind your back.

Stephen took a long moment to look you over. It really had been too long since he had given you proper attention.

“I think 20 strikes will suffice. 5 for interrupting Sir while he was working, 5 for touching Sir without permission, and 10 for not telling Sir when you need him. Does that sound fair?” Stephen picked up the paddle and weighed it in his hand.

“Yes, Sir.” You knew your limits, and he seemed happy with your answer.

“You remember your safeword?” He guided you to turn around, his hand sprawling across your upper back to gently bend you over. You nodded. “Use your words.”

“Mangoes. It’s mangoes.” You answered. Stephen hummed.

“Hands on the bed. You’re gonna count for me.” He gently teased the edge of the paddle over the swell of your ass, then up your spine and back down. Your hands fisted into the blankets.

Stephen was patient, sometimes irritatingly so. It’s what made him a good surgeon, but it drove you crazy when he strung you out. You let out a startled hiss at the press of the cool paddle to your skin.

“Count.” He reminded, but he hardly gave you a second to process the word before the paddle came down against your ass.

“One,” You squeaked. He soothed over the spot, teasing you with the power he held. Then two more swats in quick succession. “Two, three.”

You were careful to keep up. Four, five, six. But you were growing convinced that Stephen was trying to throw you off simply for the fun of it. Seven, eight, nine. You were squirming, desperation swirling in your stomach. Ten, eleven, twelve. Your hand flew back to protect your increasingly sore backside. Stephen’s hand caught your wrist and he sighed.

“You may want to think twice about that. You know better.” He let you go and you quickly put your hand back where it belonged. The next hit came harder and you yelped. “Count.”

“Thirteen. I’m sorry, Sir. I’ll be good, I promise. I’m sorry.” You pleaded. Stephen didn’t answer, landing a swat right over your sit spots. You’d be feeling it for days, and just the thought had you gushing. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Tears were welling at the corner of your eyes. Stephen shushed you gently, his free hand running soothing strokes over your back.

“Almost done, kitten. Only four more. You can do that for me, can’t you?” He urged you on sweetly, and you mumbled a barely there affirmation. You relished the tiny break you were given as he caressed the backs of your thighs. You sniffled, and Stephen pressed a few kisses between your shoulder blades.

He continued with his gentle encouragement as he delivered the final swats, fast and hard. Then he sat the paddle aside and helped you to stand straight. You curled into his chest, but he didn’t reprimand you this time. His fingers brushed the few remaining tears away.

“I’m sorry I misbehaved, Sir.” You looked up, and Stephen smirked.

“How sorry, babydoll?” The question made you tip your head, but your sincerity never faltered.

“I’m so so sorry. Let me make it up to you.”

And when you said such precious things, Stephen couldn’t help the way his cock jumped.

“Down, take out my cock.” He ran a hand through your hair before gently guiding you down to your knees. You looked up at him through your eyelashes as you made quick work of his belt and the fastenings on his pants. You tugged them down with his underwear and helped him out of them.

His cock stood half hard and mouthwateringly beautiful in front of your face. Your hand lifted to wrap around it, but you paused just before you touched him fully. You looked up again.

“Sir?”

Stephen continued to run his hand through your hair and gave you a little nod.

“Do as you please.” And you had every intention of doing just that. You reached out to give him a few tugs. His manhood was hot and heavy in your palm as you teased him to full size.

You leaned in and lapped at the head of his cock with a practised ease. You ran your tongue over the vein lining the underside of his shaft. He didn’t make a sound, but his hand tightened in your hair.

You grew tired of the teasing quickly, taking the entirety of his length into your mouth. You suckled, your tongue swirling before you took him deeper. You pressed farther until he was nestled in your throat and your nose bumped against his pelvic bone.

“Hands behind your back. I want to see what you can do with just your mouth.” Stephen commanded. And his voice sounded almost strained, like he was trying to hold back any sign of pleasure. Nevertheless, you obeyed, folding your hands behind you, letting them rest right at the swell of your ass.

You drew off before bobbing your head. You tried to keep yourself steady now as you sucked him off. His groans finally began to come out now, loud and desperate as his hips picked up a rhythm. He held your head steady and fucked into your throat.

You were a mess, spit leaking down your face, and tears streaking your face as you tried to keep your throat open enough to accommodate his sheer size.

“Fuck,” He groaned, head tipping back. You were always so perfect for him, the way you took his cock so well.

Your eyes opened again to look up at him. Even with his head tilted back, his eyes stayed trained on you, dark and steady.

“You’re gonna make me cum right down that pretty little throat.” He warned you, and the thought sent a shock to your core. He was close, you could tell. Your throat was sore, and your lips were swollen, the ache in your jaw was getting worse by the minute, but all you cared about was sucking him dry.

His fingers tightened painfully against your scalp, nestling your head all the way down on his length and shooting rope after rope of cum down your throat. You took it as well as you could, swallowing it down. A bit trickled from the corners of your mouth, leaking down your face with the rest of your mess.

Stephen beamed down at you, and his hands moved to smooth your hair. He hooked two fingers into the ring of your collar and tugged you back to your feet.

“Are you okay?” He asked, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. He always thought you looked so perfect after you went down on him. You nodded a little.

“Am I forgiven, Sir?” You asked sweetly. Stephen chuckled once again, but he nodded.

“All forgiven. Now come on. I haven’t been taking care of you. Sir has a lot to make up for too.”

Tag List: @dragonofthenorth0726​ // @vozit​ // @realgaytrash​ // @i-love-books-so-fricking-much​ // @nikkiofasgard​ // @duvetsandpillows​

[jangmi-latte]

Hello! May a I order Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim and Vil where each one deals with the type of girl that would bring them, how they met her, how they managed to get closer to her and how their relationship began? May it be in a headcannon form? Thank you!

❞ 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐈𝐬 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐌𝐞𝐭.. ❝

➻ content: four smoothies! two served for now!

➻ warnings: uwu

➻ comments: i assumed these are like boyfriend headcanons and geeeh leona and vil in one request...and it’s lengthy too... hooking one reference setting again in one of these. wink, it's from one of the masquerade meals i made~

i'll be cutting these into two parts since it's going to be very long. vil and azul will be posted later! i had to remove kalim since tumblr was starting to glitch the longer it got and i didn't want to cut it into more than two parts. sorry kalim!

part two involving vil and azul

Ⅰ.

...♔ I Met You...

➺ we all want to assume that you’re one of riddle’s childhood friends who snuck him out with trey and chenya or you met in night raven college. but no, you met him when you were being scolded by his mother.

➺ yes, you were being scolded by his mother.

➺ it happened one afternoon when you were playing ball with your friends and it flew over to his yard. you, being an oblivious ten-year-old, entered the private property through the fence and was just about to pick up the ball when one of the maids saw you and called after the mrs. rosehearts.

➺ when you were shamefully being scolded by her, riddle was curious about all the yelling going on outside that he took a peak from his study room window and saw you. tears were already dripping from your eyes as you hugged the ball to your chest.

➺ ah, the concern on riddle's face. sure, it isn't a surprise that his mother is being feared and highly respected by other people but you didn't have to experience something as cruel as being yelled at.

➺ he doesn't know the reason why but he surely did think you were stupid enough not to know you're trespassing.

➺ that was the first time he saw you. he never thought he would see you again. however, fate decided to play a little game and decided to make both of you meet again two years later.

➺ by the time he's thirteen and you're twelve, your dog somehow ran into the open gates of his home and started barking in his yard. you remembered the home to be the place of the rosehearts so you were a bit troubled when you couldn't find a way for your dog to come back.

➺ he saw you from the window again, this time he was the one who ran out to the yard, took the dog, and gave it to you saying, "first the ball and then your dog?" he questioned while you furrowed your eyebrows in surprise. was he the son of mrs. rosehearts?

➺ you changed a bit during those two years and riddle must admit, he was intrigued by you. maybe it was because he barely had any friends and he did miss the presence of both chenya and trey. having a girl friend is something he never had and would like to have one.

➺ you introduced each other by the gates. mainly because riddle was taught to be formal and greet first before spiking up a conversation. the dog was back in your arms and you would've lied if you said you didn't notice anything peculiar by the way his head would always look over his shoulder.

➺ it began with a simple, "how do you know i was the one who got yelled at?" "i was by the window. i never knew i would see you again." to "since we're getting to know each other, why don't we play?"

➺ "i can't..."

➺ you would've talked to him more if it wasn't for his mother's loud yells looking for him.

➺ but fate isn't greedy.

...♔ Closer To You...

➺ your concern for riddle eventually led to you going to the gates more often. if not the gates, then waving behind the fence in front of his bedroom window. he couldn't go out of the house so what did you both do? from conversing by the use of paper aeroplanes to using tin can telephones. old school but it's the only way for you to be able to communicate with riddle.

➺ you two eventually started to learn about each other. you knew about his mother, trey and chenya, him being accepted to nrc, and his sweet tooth. you barely played, yes, but that doesn’t change the fact the both of you grew to be the best of friends.

➺ trey and chenya finally got to know you when riddle got the chance to invite you into his house. how? his parents were out, leaving him with the servants and he was able to sneak you in. you video-called with trey and chenya that day and you two got to interact more. you were both fifteen that time – riddle turning sixteen.

➺ until the day came where riddle had to go to nrc. you were happy for him yet sad that you can’t see him for a quite a while. sure, there’s the internet, but the real-life experience is what you’ll miss. 

➺ you met by the gates again where you ran to him and gave him a big hug. riddle was surprised, not really used to such affection while you cried how happy you are for him and made him promise that you two would talk still during his time at school.

...♔ I'm Yours...

➺ you eventually started your classes in a different school. it led to you and riddle not communicating for months. too busy with school and the ultimate pressure of his and your parents has consumed most of your time to talk to each other. let alone get the chance to visit him when he comes home.

➺ the promise was sealed and that was the last time in months where you’ll see him as you watched him enter the mirror. he gave his very first message when he got sorted into heartslabyul.

➺ you were shook when you found out he became dorm leader in just a week of him being there.

➺ when you turned sixteen, riddle is seventeen, that’s when the relationship would start a ride. that one vacation where he came home, riddle was forced to go to some formal event. he didn’t want to be there so he went to the manor’s backyard and saw you.

➺ if you’re expecting as something as sweet as pie, then that isn’t how your and riddle’s relationship began.

➺ it came to the point you nearly forgot about riddle as you wanted to focus on yourself more. same with riddle. he was too preoccupied with school, dorm management, and dealing with his mother to even have the chance to hold his phone.

➺ the two of you being reunited has brought hidden feelings to arise. you both had matured in some way and damn was riddle baffled with the kiss you just gave him in that gazebo.

➺ okay, he matured. not you.

➺ you would think it was going to be awkward after that, but no. after your father found out about riddle, he let the roseheats know about your ever-so-hidden relationship and let the two of you finally interact completely. 

➺ ah, the constant visits both of you would do to each other’s homes. riddle taught you everything he knows. he never brought up the kiss, he was too embarrassed to do so.

➺ until you did it again in the same gazebo when he was tutoring you one afternoon.

➺ “why do you keep on doing that?!” he exclaimed and covered his face. he may be the strict dorm leader in heartslabyul, but please he’s just as stupid as you when it comes to relationships. your gullible self just giggled and straight out confused, “because i love you.”

➺ that’s when riddle realized his feelings for you too. there wasn’t any ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ questions. it was straight-up ‘i love you too’ (with a hushed voice while being the tsundere he is) from him that sealed the next step of your relationship.

➺ you both were each other’s first partner so it was quite awkward and rusty at first. riddle would be shy and yell at you yet you would just giggle and be all affectionate on him.

➺ he eventually got used to it months later into the relationship. he would support you, be more proud of your developments, and maybe be more affectionate (by more maybe just a simple kiss on the hand and cheek here in there). he isn’t big into pda so it was a surprise to adeuce, trey, and cater that riddle has a girlfriend.

➺ how did they found out? you paid him a visit one day at school and hugged him tightly which shook everyone to the core. maybe trey found out sooner than the others but awww...everyone shipped the both of you that riddle may or may not have been more happy let the others know about you.

➺ he just loves you okay?

Ⅱ.

...❦  I Met You...

➺ we’re going to pull a lion king II in this one and say you were chasing a little butterfly and bumped into him one day that made the both of you roll down the hill. 

➺ leona recognized you as the daughter of one of the royal guards, noted by the uniform tattoo that adorned your bicep. the almighty respect he had for you was high, but why are you out here giggling and chasing some insect instead of training?

➺ your oblivious self was still on top of him after rolling from that hill. upon stretching your arms out, hovering over him, that’s when you made out the face of the second prince and immediately scurried away from him while saying uncountable amounts of apologies. 

➺  first meeting? not so really. more like the first time getting in contact with the prince since your parents are quite strict with who you befriend. did they explicitly say who you should and shouldn’t be friends with? no. so here you are embarrassed that you nearly brought the prince into an accident when you should be the one looking after him.

➺ you were young teens, maybe around thirteen to fourteen years old, when that happened. so, yes, leona was already the grumpy man he is. despite that, his skills aren’t as sharp as it is in the present day. when you both stopped rolling, you were whining while he was ‘growling’ at you – it wasn’t really a growl. try saying r through gritted teeth, that was the sound.

➺ “who are you?” he asked while fixing himself. stating your name, you bowed and remembered your training. ugh, how you wanted to be swallowed by the ground now.

➺ “i-i apologise, your highness! i’m supposed to be out looking for you rather than being careless–”

➺ “don’t call me your highness and i don’t need to be looked out for,” he grumbled. 

➺ oh, but that’s not your job now is it?

...❦  Closer To You...

➺ since it’s your job to look after leona, it’s pretty much obvious on how you two grew closer. if it wasn’t for your stubborn self ignoring his constant bickers of him being grown enough to not be looked after, you two wouldn’t be as close as when you two would grow up.

➺ “what are you reading, your highness?” “stop disturbing me!”

➺ you are a guard alright, but also his best friend. he wouldn’t admit it out loud but he did enjoy your company rather than being around his brother all the time. he finds your sudden persona change amusing. if you’re casually chatting with him, being all carefree, and one of the guards come in to check on both of you, you would suddenly stand up tall with a fierce expression and respond formally before reverting back to being your y/n self.

➺ he questions if you’re taking your job seriously.

➺ you grew up together side by side. there are ups and downs in your friendship, mainly due to leona’s high pride, but other than that, you became more of a sibling to him rather than his brother did. puberty did the both of you well and you eventually matured to become that motherly friend everyone needed.

➺ when it was time for him to move to school, your motherly side showed up. even though you knew he would be fine – those muscles don’t lie – being his guard AND friend, you made sure there isn’t going to be a problem with his transportation and his dormitory. separating from him means you can’t perform your duty as a guard, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do your duty as a friend either.

➺ with his stay there, you always called him or Ruggie. at least he has someone there that can look after him in your place.

➺ you would occasionally visit there (much to the savanaclaw students’ surprise) and make sure he’s alright. of course, leona would protest here and there saying you’re overreacting and such.

➺ “have you ate?” “time to wake up, stupid sleepyhead.” and all that. you still held that playfulness in you and leona never wanted that to change. if you’re protective to him then he’s protective over you too. you may be a tough and strong woman of the royal household, still, leona would look after you from the corner of his eye and make sure you’re safe despite the intense training you’re going through.

➺ he’s still thankful though.

...❦  I'm Yours...

➺ do you know what made leona love you more than a friend? when your nurturing side showed up. when? the birth of cheka. 

➺ speaking of cheka, when the little cub was born, it was in a lioness’ nature to look after other cubs and that’s what you instinctively did. you’re holding the future of the savannah in your arms and leona couldn’t help it but see you holding HIS child rather than his brother’s. 

➺ when the queen was resting, you would tend to the young child and leona would just stare at you. the older cheka grew, the more leona would fall for you.

➺ first, you didn’t leave him, second, you were there for him, third, you’re a wholeass wife-material. no, leona didn’t just see you as a potential partner, he doesn’t want you to leave his life at all which means you’re someone important to him. friends? nah, you’re going to be leona’s girlfriend.

➺ you grew up to be beautiful too. leona doesn’t really care for looks but seeing you mature so beautifully is a bonus to him. 

➺ you, on the other hand, already had a crush on leona during your adolescent years. until you were sure of your feelings for him, you eventually became more touchy than expected. either intentional or not, leona doesn’t mind.

➺ by touchy, you would hug him more often, hold his hands out of nowhere, play with his tail, etc. did leona mind? maybe in public, yes. if you were alone, however, he would just let you. you both are close after all.

➺ it was reflex, of course, very tough of a guard like you to act. “geez, thanks,” leona groaned. maybe it was kind of disrespectful, but believe it or not, it wasn’t leona’s intention to take advantage of you. he instantly got worried when you didn’t speak and just stayed still under the blanket.

➺ you were taking deep breaths with your cheeks red and all. your tail was uncontrollably flicking too. 

➺ “i saw that! miss y/n is my auntie now!” ah, damn now cheka saw that too. 

➺ it was leona who took the relationship to the next level when you were talking to him about something he can’t quite remember. he was just staring at how your lips moved and suddenly, he just kissed you. did he get a kiss back? no. instead, he had a kick to the stomach that sent him curling up while you buried yourself under the blankets.

➺ leona shooed the little cub away and removed the blankets to see you covering your face. he noticed your tail going whoosh so he gently held it. big mistake. you kicked his leg this time which made him fall on the bed and you sat on his waist and glared down at him.

➺ “remind me next time not to kiss you.” “oh, i will.”

➺ and you made the move this time and kissed him.

➺ now you’re his and his only.

➺ the whole royal household found out about your relationship after cheka started cheering about how he’ll get a little playmate/cousin after he saw you and leona kiss. honey, that’s not how kids are made...

[starlessskies94]

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Note: I will admit this isn't a long chapter but it's certainly a humdinger for sure! Hope you enjoy it! x

Chapter Nine

The attic.

Joel didn’t even know he had an attic.

It had taken him a goddamn hour since Tommy had stormed out to find the hatch door. Even after months the house still felt unfamiliar to him. Finding out there was a whole other part of it hidden away, only reminded him of that fact. He was still a stranger living in a stranger’s home.

It had been inside of his walk-in closet.

A downright stupid place for an attic hatch in Joel’s opinion but with a little effort; he’d just about managed to get the door open, extend the ladder out and fasten the bolts in place in order to get inside. He’d hesitated before climbing up; a quick glare to his still healing leg. But it was coming on stronger than he’d care to admit to himself. No longer really needing the cane anymore and mostly using it out of habit. It seemed that holding onto something when the panic came had been a way to ground himself he supposed. When the stress had become too much or the attempts at remembering had become overwhelming. He left the cane leaning against his bedroom wall and turned back towards the attic ladder; a deep breath let out out as he began to climb.

There wasn’t much up there if he was honest; at least not as much as he had been expecting. Just a couple of boxes left in the corner of the dusty space. Two boxes stacked neatly by one of the wooden beams; evidently pushed out of the way as to not stand out too easily. Joel found this whole thing leaving him even more confused; once again clouding his mind with more questions than answers. The all too familiar headache beginning to creep in along with it.

He kneeled slowly beside the small stack of boxes; pulling the top one way from its pile and gently placing it in front of him. The front caught his eye with scribbled black writing.

“Joel and Ada?” He whispered out loud to the dust and unbroken silence. Ada? What did she have to do with this? The man reluctantly removed the lid and ran his eyes over the contents and his stomach lurched at the sight. Pictures. It was a box full of pictures. All of Joel stood with the very same woman that had walked him home one snowy afternoon.

Except this was much more than friendship. The first framed photograph facing him was a picture of them; smiling together hand in hand in front of the small Jackson chapel... Ada wearing a white patched old dress standing proudly with Joel beside her, a wild flower pinned to his flannel shirt. This was a wedding. His wedding.

But he wasn’t married. That had always been something he was sure of. Sure he’d married Sarah’s mother but that had ended almost as quickly as it had started. They’d been way too young at the time and she’d left long before Sarah had really been able to remember her. He’d put the past behind him and always put his little girl first. It had been them against the world after that. Then he’d lost her; a fact he was still having trouble accepting even now. But it was still something he knew for certain. That part of his life was over. He hadn’t dated, hadn’t wanted to. And he was pretty sure there had been no one in Boston waiting for him either. From what Tommy had told him; their only priority had been to just survive. And yet here... right in front of him were pictures of him and Ada...together.

Some of them with the horses in the town’s barn. One of Ada apparently teaching Joel to cook in his kitchen. Although from the look of the smoke and mess, it clearly hadn’t gone well. There were others of Joel playing guitar with Ada singing beside him, another of the two sat by a mountain landscape watching the sunset by a flickering campfire. He quickly pushed them aside, his hands shaking as he dropped the last picture. He shuffled back onto his knees, twisting to reach the other box. Discarding the lid and once again peering inside the mess of hidden photographs. These pictures were of him and Ellie...out by the waters edge in the forest as the man moved to catch the girl in mid flight as she jumped from an overhanging log.

Standing together as the older man seemed to be introducing her, to what looked like a younger Shimmer in the stables. Family photos of all three of them smiling happily; dinners with Tommy and Maria, Christmases and birthdays. A faded picture of Joel standing outside the Wyoming Museum; his arm around the shoulder of a much younger Ellie wearing what looked like a space helmet; proudly showing off a dinosaur book to the camera. Looking at the girl; Joel had to guess she was maybe fourteen? Fifteen in the picture? He wasn't sure. Rummaging further through the box; he found a drawing of his own face staring back at him. His eyes glanced down at the cursive writing in the bottom corner.

‘To Joel, From Ellie.’

Joel swallowed hard, taking it all in before continuing his search through the box, his fingertips brushing against something cold and hard, he dug deeper and pulled out a poorly crafted mug. The handle was badly shaped and the rim was chipped; it looked like it had been sculpted by a child. It was painted a deeply shaded blue; with sloppy red writing on the side along with what looked like a green dinosaur wearing a hat.

‘Worlds Okayest Dad’ (Just kidding, love ya old man!) It read. Joel laughed quietly in spite of himself. Tommy was right, he did have a family. A wife...a kid.

God...how could he have forgotten he was a dad again? And why had Ellie and Ada not said anything?! They had moved out and left him alone. He felt sick at the realisation. Just what the hell had he done wrong for them to up and abandon him like that?

Why had Ada lied to his face when he had asked about her husband? Had everyone lied to him he wondered. Clearly too much of a burden for his wife to deal with apparently. The more he tried to piece things together; the harder his head hurt. It was like trying to read a book but the pages were blank; only the pictures to try to piece together the story. None of it made sense and it only made him that much more angry. His blood boiling as he threw the boxes across the attic floor, the frames smashing against the wood as they landed heavily in a pile before him. The pity in her eyes had only seemed patronising now; her kind smile was fake and wrong. The way Ellie had shied away from him in the barn all made sense now; the girl clearly ashamed by the pathetic charity case her father now was. Or perhaps Ada had told the teen to stay away from him.

Joel was sick and tired of wondering. He didn’t want pity; he wanted answers. He didn’t remember climbing back down or making his way down the street. His mind a blur; his injured leg aching in protest of clearly being pushed too far. But it only fuelled his anger; a hindrance that would only ever be a reminder of the burden he was now to the family, that had abandoned him when he’d needed them most.

When he found himself at Ada's door; he didn’t hesitate. His clenched fist rapping against the wood while the other screwed up the only photograph he’d taken in a hurry. The shards of glass from the broken frame, digging into the flesh of his palm. But he was too numb to feel it. His heart thumping so loudly, the sound echoed in his ears. It felt like an eternity when Adaline finally answered the door. The woman having the audacity to actually smile at him, his jaw tightened, almost tasting the bitterness that ran through his veins between gritted teeth and venomous tongue.

“Hey.” She greeted softly and Joel felt sick at the sight of her. “Everything okay?” he didn’t know why she was asking; it wasn’t as though she actually cared. Her smile quickly dissipated when she saw the cold look in his eye. The dark shadow that had descended across his features. “Joel…” She uttered cautiously.

“I think you and I need to talk.” He growled. She knew it wasn’t a question.

[psychospeak-blog]

Won’t Go Slowly // 69

One // Two  // Three // Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight // Nine // Ten // Eleven // Twelve // Thirteen // Fourteen // Fifteen // Sixteen // Seventeen // Eighteen // Nineteen// Twenty // Twenty One // Twenty Two // Twenty Three // Twenty Four// Twenty Five // Twenty Six // Twenty Seven // Twenty Eight // Twenty Nine // Thirty // Thirty One // Thirty Two // Thirty Three // Thirty Four// Thirty Five // Thirty Six // Thirty Seven // Thirty Eight // Thirty Nine // Forty // Forty One // Forty Two // Forty Three // Forty Four // Forty Five // Forty Six // Forty Seven // Forty Eight // Forty Nine // Fifty // Fifty One // Fifty Two // Fifty Three // Fifty Four // Fifty Five // Fifty Six // Fifty Seven // Fifty Eight // Fifty Nine // Sixty// Sixty One // Sixty // Sixty One // Sixty Two // Sixty Three// Sixty Four// Sixty Five // Sixty Six // Sixty Seven // Sixty Eight

The thing was, you were used to going to rinks and hockey events with Tyler.   You were used to the meeting up with him, to the feeling like you were somehow being signaled out when it was obvious that he knew you or that you were getting special treatment.

You were not used to going to these events as his girlfriend.

You also think you'd only been to Biosteel Camp once before, that week the marking the separation of his life with you and his life in the NHL. 

But some things were different now that you had a child with who you wanted to share new experiences.  So when Tyler had asked you to come, you'd agreed, realizing that having Bentley come along added a layer of excitement to go to a hockey game, even if it was just a scrimmage.  Which is exactly why you had Bentley dressed in Dallas Stars colours, even though Tyler himself wouldn't even be wearing them.  You'd decided that you didn't want to drive into the city by yourself, which is why you had Bentley packed up to head in with Tyler for the day, in his jeep which seemed to be your new family vehicle.

"You might want to get into this lane here," Tyler said, leaned forward, and then looking over his shoulder, "But there's a car right behind you so -"

"I have driven before, you know," you laughed, and Tyler sheepishly sat back.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, "I like to be in control, especially when you're driving my car."

"I've driven your car before, too," you said.

"Well, I still like to be in control."

"You're in control of him," you said, nodding towards the backseat, where Bentley was in his car seat.  

Tyler turned in his seat, looking at the mirror that reflected Bentley's face back at you.  "He's sleeping."

"Tyler," you whined, your whole body moving in a sigh.

"What?" he asked, completely oblivious.

"You never, ever point out that a baby is sleeping when you really don't want them to wake up."

"Is that a thing?"

"Yes, it's a thing."

"Well, I didn't attend the parenting classes, I don't know," he said, "It's not in my book."

"I didn't go to a parenting class," you laughed.

"Yeah, you did," Tyler said, looking at you, and you wracked your brain until you remembered.

"That was a childbirth class.  And I went to a baby CPR class," you said, thinking, your eyes glancing towards him, "Would you go to one of those?"

"A baby CPR class?" Tyler asked, and you nodded, "If you want me to?"

"I just think it would be a good idea for us both to know it if we're gonna be living together.  Officially," you said, "And he's gonna be starting solids soon so he could choke."

"He could choke?" Tyler asked, in alarm, "I thought babies ate like... mush."

"Well, they do eat soft stuff," you confirm, "but it's a different texture.  They have to get used to it."

"I'll go if you’ 'll come with me and take it again?" Tyler asked hopefully.

"Deal," you agreed, "I mean if we can find someone to watch Bentley."

"We can find someone to watch Bentley," Tyler said confidently.  "Jamie can do it."

"Jamie?" you repeated.

"Yeah, he's great with kids," Tyler said. 

"Yeah, but it's just not about being great with kids, watching a baby isn't the same thing as hanging out with an older kid."

"You let me watch him."

"Yeah, but you're different," you said.

"What? How?"

"You know...." you said, taking your hand off the wheel for a moment and gesturing back and forth between him and Bentley in the backseat to demonstrate that connection and Tyler cleared his throat loudly, and you placed your hand obediently back on the wheel.

"Well, I wouldn't let any of the guys watch him unless I knew they could do it," Tyler said, "He's got a niece, he babysits for other kids on the team."

"Really?" you asked in surprise.

"Yeah, we're more than just hockey players, you know," Tyler said, "we have skills."

"I know, I know, I just -" you laughed because you didn't quite know how to put into words that it felt overwhelming to think about having someone other than family watch your baby, even though you knew it was okay. 

It didn't really feel like your home there, yet.

"We just started dating babe, and I know we were fucking for like a year, but that's different."

"Tyler," you said in shock, with the baby in the back seat, so blunt, and you felt his eyes on you.

"Moving in together is a really big deal.  When you've been together for years and just ---"

"You think we shouldn't move in together?"

"What? No," Tyler said, "I'm just saying that.... we need to make sure we have time for each other. It's not just us, there's a kid and I just...if we're gonna do this whole parent thing, I think we just need to make sure we work on our relationship too. And I don't mean like pawn the kid off as soon as we get there, obviously, I want to hang out with him.  I just mean like...once a month or something."

And now you were imaging the anticipation that you might feel picking out just the right dress for a dinner out that Tyler had promised you after a long road trip, or sneaking moments throughout the day to find someplace fun nearby that Tyler hadn't discovered yet.

 "Okay, deal," you said, your wide smile giving away what your feelings about actually getting to date Tyler.

"I know where I'm taking you first," Tyler said, the smile evidence in his voice.

"Where?" you asked by reflex, even though you realized he'd want it to be a surprise.

"To the backyard," Tyler said, laughing even before he got the words out.  "Then you won't have to worry about worry about Bentley because we'll be right there."

"Okay, I wasn't that bad," you clarified, "The was the first time that I'd left him with someone who....wasn't involved in making him," you finally decided on, and Tyler burst out laughing.  

"It's fine, babe, I get it," Tyler said simply, his voice filled with an understanding that you didn't think you had until you actually had your own child.

"Love you," you said simply, because you couldn't put it into words how much it meant that he never questioned would feelings when it came to Bentley.

"Love you too," he replied, your tender moment being interrupted by Bentley's abrupt cry.

"Oh, what's the matter?" Tyler asked his voice sickly sweet, turning in his seat to see what was going on in the back.

"You're okay," you soothed, "we're just going for a car ride."

"Yeah, you're gonna go watch hockey," Tyler added, to which Bentley let out an even louder cry, "Okay, I guess you don't like hockey."

"He likes hockey," you said.

"How do you know?" Tyler asked.

"Because we used to watch it all the time when he was a newborn."

"Oh, so you who never used to watch hockey suddenly became a huge fan, huh?" he asked, his voice playful.

"Tyler, you literally watched the whole of Grey's Anatomy with me and baked everything I wanted with me even though you hate measuring."

"Well, it's so specific," Tyler said, waving his hand, and you laughed because you could somehow at least always convince him to hang out in the kitchen with you while you whipped up a batch of muffins or cookies.

"But, yeah, Bentley and I watched every game because we missed you."

"Aww," Tyler said, clearly exaggerating how adorable it was, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

"This'll be a test to see if he can handle going to a real game," you said, Bentley still making himself known from the backseat.

"Well, it'll probably be easier to take him to a Stars game," Tyler said, turning and reaching into the backseat, you assumed to see if he could grab Bentley's pacifier with the way he was reaching around.

"Why?" you asked, the simple amount of people seeming overwhelming to you because the person you felt understood Bentley just as well as you did would literally be on the ice.

R 5 4th 344

"Because you can just take him into the family room if you don't want to sit with him in the seats or need somewhere to feed him or change him or whatever."

"What's that?" you asked, Tyler huffing out a laugh, and you were reminded just how foreign this whole world was to you.

"It's a suite where all the girls hang out," Tyler said, "There's a bunch of toys and stuff for the guy's kids.  He'll probably be more psyched to hang out there than watch the game."

"Oh," you said quietly, still trying to process this all, and focusing on the fact that he was referring to the players’ kids, and not just family friends.

"When do you think he's gonna be able to walk?" Tyler asked, drawing you out of your thoughts.

"Umm...after he learns to crawl?" you said, Tyler making noise to let you know that was rather obvious.

"I'm just stoked for him to run down the hallway towards me after a game," Tyler said, his arms raised and flailing about, mimicking the determined and yet awkward way that toddlers ran.

"Yeah, that'll be cute," you said, caught in that place where you wanted your baby to stay little forever, but were also looking forward to seeing how his personality would continue to emerge.

"You fed him before we left, right?" Tyler asked, Bentley still making himself known from the backseat, and you nodded your affirmation.  

"He's just fussy," you said, recognizing his cry.

"What do I do?" Tyler asked, "Like how did you even do this by yourself?"

You laughed a little under your breath, Tyler turned in his seat, looking at you like you had all the answers.  And although you'd driven with him before so many times, it was always him driving, and now he seemed a little out of his comfort zone like he was doing the wrong thing, even though you knew if Tyler had him in the car by himself he'd figure it out.

"Just talk to him," you offered.

"Like about what?"

"Anything," you said.  "he just wants to hear your voice.  Like when I was taking him to my mom's on Father's day, I told him all about what Father's day was. And why we were getting you a gift, and why you were spending time with your dad.."

"Awe," Tyler said, "Hmm..."

You didn't even realize you laughed until Tyler instructed you not to laugh at him because he was thinking and that he was under pressure now because you'd told Bentley something sweet, so he just couldn't tell any old story.

"Oh, I know," Tyler said, his voice even and thoughtful, "I'll tell you about the first time I realized that your mom was going to be a good mom."

And now you were pretty sure that you were paying even more attention to the timbre of Tyler's voice than Bentley was.

"So one time Grandma Jackie and Papa went to go out, so Uncle Ty-Ty had to babysit your Auntie Candace and Cassidy," Tyler said, "And because Mommy's awesome, she came over to help."

"That's when you knew?" you asked suddenly.

"Shh..."Tyler said, "I'm telling the story to Bentley, not you."

"Oh, sorry."

"Anyways," Tyler continued, pointedly, "Because Mommy was secretly in love with me she gave up her Friday night to come to hang out and help me."

"Don't tell him that," you laughed.

"Oh, right, it was because she was a nerd."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"Anyways, I appreciated it," he said, "So we were just hanging out watching a movie or something after we the girls had gone to bed, and then we heard this big crash from the kitchen."

And now you knew exactly what he was getting at, still feeling like that teenager responsible for someone only a few years younger than you77 even though you now had a child of your own.

"And of course we ran up there, and there was glass all over the place," Tyler said, his voice showing just how shocking it was, "Because Auntie Cass wanted some water and she didn't think she needed to come ask for help because she wanted to do it by herself."

"Which is why you'll be drinking out of a sippy cup until you're 12," you said.

"Yeah," Tyler laughed, "Anyways, so because Uncle Ty-Ty didn't think about what was doing he yelled, and what did Auntie Cass do?  She cried.  Yeah, even louder than you're crying right now."

"See, Uncle Ty-Ty was just scared that she was going to hurt herself more and he didn't think about how she might feel, but Mommy did," Tyler said, "She was so calm, and she just knew the right thing to say."

As Tyler's voice softened, you could hear the noises coming from Bentley softening, too.

"She knew just how to calm her down," Tyler said, "Because Uncle Ty-Ty didn't even know why she was crying, and if Mommy wasn't there, Auntie Cass probably would have been crying until Grandma got home."

"That's why I knew she was going to be a good Mom," Tyler said, more to you now than Bentley, "Because she cares a lot, but she also thinks about how other people are going to feel. She always knows just what to say to make people feel better. So I was really, really glad she was there."

"Well, I was glad you were there," you said, "I was freaking out."

"You were not," Tyler said, "I was freaking out."

"So was I," you confirmed, "You know how I hate that stuff."

"Well, you couldn't tell," Tyler said.

"Well, you couldn't tell you were freaking out either," you confirmed.

"'Cause you were there," Tyler said, even though it was the same for you, "I don't know why my mom didn't just ask you to babysit."

"Because you had it under control," you insisted, "It was your idea to take them to the corner store and let th6em pick out a chocolate bar to have with our ice cream."

"Yeah, cause they always take my money," Tyler said, a subtle uptick of his lips.

"You can't say no," you laughed, Tyler no longer able to hide his smile.  And it was him who suggested Cassidy come sit with you on the couch after you'd cleaned up the glass, Tyler carrying her to bed after she'd fallen asleep during the movie, something which had made him seem so much older than the sixteen years he'd been at the time, Tyler looking over his shoulder now.

"Okay, apparently we were boring before he got here," he said.

"A little bit.  I think he liked your story though," you said, "But you gotta stop only telling him good stories about me. We need like a storybook."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't tell him," Tyler said, his voice playful and teasing.  "I'll always hype you up, babe. I'm like your hype man."

"Well, listen when you're out there because we're gonna cheer for you," you said.

"I will," Tyler smiled, looking back again.  "He's already got the shirt though."

"He's got all the shirts, one for each game of the season, " you said, Tyler laughing.

"Do you think he'll wake up at all?" Tyler asked as you pulled into town, getting closer to that arena you'd spent so much time in as a teenager.

"Oh yeah," you said confidently, as Bentley was getting more and more interesting and aware of the world around him each day.  "Where do you want me to drop you off?"

"Just up here," Tyler said, pointing to an open spot, and you noticed the 6other guys arriving after having driven to the rink on their own, whereas you felt like you were drawing attention to yourself with the way you were arriving.

"I feel like I'm your mom dropping you off at practice," you said.

"Nah," Tyler said, leaning across the console towards you, pressing his lips easily to yours before you even had a chance to process what was happening.  "I'm not embarrassed to kiss you in front of my friends."

You weren't expecting him to grasp the back of your head though, pulling you to him for a deeper kiss, his hand tangling in your ponytail, and you knew you'd have to fix it, but you didn't care, smiling against his lips.  

"You need anything before I go?" he asked.

"No, we're good, we're just gonna go pick up Brooke," you said, Bentley still sleeping, hoping he'd be able to get a bit more of a nap in while you did that, so he'd wake up rested and hopefully on his own.  "Dani's gonna meet us here."

"K, well tell Bentley to look out for puck bunnies."

"Tyler!" you scolded, which he scrunched his nose up at, laughing.

"Hey, I said watch out for them, like avoid them, not look for them."

"Mhmm," you said, teasingly.

"I'll see you in a bit," he promised, and you kissed him once more, certain that he was being even more quiet than usual when getting his gear out of the back as if not to wake Bentley, hearing him talking to the other guys although you couldn't hear what they were saying, part of you wondering if he was explaining why he was arriving with such an entourage.

You were, however, thankful that you had brought your somewhat of an entourage with you, setting up a spot in the stands with your diaper bag which you'd tried to pare down as little as possible, Bentley curled up in Brooke's lap, eyes blinking drowsily as he began to realize that he was somewhere new.

"Oh, you made it," you said, when Danielle found you, knowing that she'd have to come by after work, your summer this year so much different than last, when you were still working regular hours.

"Well, yeah, I got to spend as much time as possible with you guys before you leave," she said, leaning down to hug you.

"I know," you said, your voice bittersweet, but as you felt the excitement of the kids around you thinking about getting a chance to see their favorite hockey player in person and your eyes watching Bentley's reaction, you couldn't help but think that this was even better than the love you'd imagined you'd have in your life last year, the experience of getting to see all these things that seemed so ordinary before through Bentley's eyes your new favourite thing.

"You look like you're having an existential crisis," Danielle said, laughing as she sat down next to you.

"It's just...I used to spend so much time here in high school," you said, looking at the rink around you, "just because it was something to do and because we would all go get food afterward.  And I never even paid attention to what offsides were and barely noticed when Tyler scored and now I'm like... if you told me I would be sitting here with his baby completely invested, I would have thought you were crazy."

7

And yet it made you smile, having all this history with him.

"Careful how loud you say that baby part," Danielle said, eyebrows raised, although this was more about the kids getting a chance to see their favourite players in action, not so much the gossip and rumours that swirled online.  "We are going out to eat though, right? Because that's the only reason I came."

"Yeah, Tyler said there's a good sushi spot we can check out," you said, which was pretty much all he suggested when you went out to eat, knowing how much you'd missed real sushi while pregnant. "We brought Bentley's stroller in case he naps."

"Tyler's paying, right?" Danielle asked, her voice giving away that she didn't care either way. 

"I mean, it was his idea.." you said.  And although he teased you relentlessly about whose turn it was to pick up the cheque he pretty much always did.  Although he was more appreciative of when you grabbed him eggs at the store before he even noticed he was running low or arrived at his house after work on a warm summer day with a frozen lemonade for you both.  "We'll have to wait a bit though, he's doing this video interview piece or something? For a YouTube channel called Spittin Chiclets?"

"That's fine," Danielle said, leaning over towards Bentley, "you want to spend more time with Auntie Danielle,  right? Before you have to move because of silly hockey?" 

And you tilted your head at her, wanting to just enjoy this time you had left at home with all of your people, not thinking about how you were currently uprooting half your life.  It was almost like when you went away to university, leaving your summer essentials at home, except now you were a full-fledged adult and would be in a completely different country, not just an easy drive down the road.  

There had to be a handbook for 7y.

"He's doing Spittin' Chiclets?" Brooke asked, and you broke your gaze away from  Bentley in his Dallas Stars onesie, so much bigger than the first time he'd spotted the gear, noting the look on her face.

"Yeah, is it...not good?" you asked.

"No, no, I mean it's fine, everything's fine," Brooke said.  "They're just gonna definitely ask him if he has a girlfriend."

You still froze, even though he'd kissed you’d in the car, and been the first to be vocal about the fact that he had a girlfriend.

"Do a lot of people watch it?" You asked, hesitantly, wondering if this was going to be where things really started getting serious.  

"Kind of?" Brooke said, her tone letting you know that, in fact, a lot of people would be paying attention to Tyler's actions and words, and you wondered if you should have talked about this with him, even though he'd been being followed the whole camp.  "I’m sure it will be fine though."

"And it's not like it's live," Danielle added.

"Yeah, it's edited, I'm sure they'll edit it out if he says something dumb," Brooke said, the slight uptick of her lips indicating that Tyler would be the one to not think before he spoke. 

But you weren't exactly so sure how they could blur out that tattoo he had of your son's name across his ribs, the date so clearly connected with that game he'd missed in April, especially with Tyler's propensity to take his shirt off well working out.

Or anytime, really, part of you wishing that it was as inconspicuous as that tattoo he got for you.

But Tyler had never really been the one to shy away from sharing things, even if it was the declaration that it was personal.

So, instead, you focused on the fact that this was Bentley's first time in a hockey arena, getting to see Tyler play for the first time in person in the same place you had.

It was a lot easier than you thought, getting lost in the screams of excitement from around you, and you found yourself picking up Bentley, joining the group of kids who were waiting to see the players emerge from the tunnel. And, because you couldn’t resist when you heard the delighted calls trying to gain Tyler's attention, you tried to sneakily ease yourself in on the end, taking Bentley's hand in yours and extending it as if he was waiting for a fist bump too.  Tyler might have missed it had it been during the season but he wasn't forced to focus, looking up talking to the kids as he passed by in greeting, his grin growing wider when he saw you, eyebrows raise in acknowledgment that he'd get to you, so you stood up a little more, easing out of the way.  

When Tyler got to you though, he didn't reach out his glove towards Bentley's hand like you thought he would, instead of shaking it off and tucking it under his arm, extending his hands out and motioning with his fingers for you to hand the baby over.  

"Give him to you?" You asked like you weren't understanding him properly.  Tyler didn't answer you but nodded emphatically, so you shifted Bentley, holding on tight to his torso as you held him over the railing, Tyler reaching up to support his weight quickly, and then easily shifting Bentley onto his hip, Bentley's eyes going wide with interest, Tyler's large hand splayed easily across his stomach.  You weren’t going to lie and say that you didn’t hold your breath when Tyler stepped onto the ice with your four-month-old, but Tyler was watching him carefully, Bentley's body barely even moving with the movement.  Somehow, Tyler managed to turn around without his feet even moving, giving you a view of him watching Bentley's reaction. 

And then your brain caught up to where you were, that you couldn't stay stuck in this moment forever, fishing your phone out of your pocket to take a picture.  You could see Tyler talking to Bentley but couldn't hear what he was saying, pointing towards you like he thought he could encourage a baby to not only make eye contact but smile for a picture.  You thought you'd got a decent one but Tyler frowned though, motioning back a forth between you and then spinning his hand around, gesturing for you to turn around.  Cluelessly, you looked behind you, seeing Danielle and Brooke there, realizing that Tyler wanted you to get in the picture too, and you swire you could hear Tyler giggling at you, shooting him a look over your shoulder as you inched up near the glass, hearing Tyler's laugh grow even louder as you shook your head.  You focused on smiling for the picture, resisting 6he urge to just watch Tyler and Bentley the whole time, knowing you’d get to enj9tseeing the picture later.  When Danielle put her phone down, you walked back over to meet Tyler to get Bentley, leaning your body over, getting closer to him than you'd probably ever been with him in full ge8ar.

"You got him?" Tyler asked, his voice louder than you were expecting. 

"Yep," you affirmed, your voice confident and yet Tyler kept his hands his hands around Bentley's waist for a moment too, and then dropped him them suddenly with a gasp like he'd just dropped the baby, your heart skipping a beat even though you knew you had him.

"Tyler," you chided, pulling Bentley into your body but not looking at him quite just yet, giving Tyler a stern look.  "Don't do that."

He laughed, his lips turning up in a smirk, and then you could have sworn he puckered them just a bit as though blowing you an apology kiss before sprinting onto the ice in a way that would have had you landing hard on your backside.

You shook your head, addressing Bentley.  "Did you go on the ice?" You asked enthusiastically, using your hand to fix his onesie where it was riding.  "What did you think? Mommy's not so sure how she feels about it."

"I’m surprised Tyler hasn't bought him skates yet," Danielle said, and you smiled, shifting Bentley onto your hip and then sitting back down.

"I told him there's no point buying him skates until he can walk," you said, holding Bentley in your lap, bending over to get him something to hold out of his diaper bag, not wanting him to get restless too soon. "And then I'll deal with it once Bentley can walk."

"He's totally gonna convince you, you know," Danielle laughed.  

"I know," you sighed because Tyler could smile in a way t h at was so damn charming that he was pretty much the only one who could convince you of putting a bra and real clothes back on after you’d gotten home from work to go out for the evening or give up your paid time off to fly down to visit him for only a day or two. 

"It goes both ways though," Danielle said, and you smiled at that main example of that that you had sitting in your lap.  "He looks at you all googly-eyed all the time, and like finally I don’t have to pretend not to see it like I did all last summer." 

"Okay, he was not looking at me like that all last summer," you clarified, because that you would have noticed.  And maybe he did look at you a little more often but he was just being ... caring.

"Little bit," Danielle said, and now you smiled a bit, her sitting down next to you, flipping the ears on Bentley's toy.  You all jumped though, when there was a large bang on the glass in front of you and you didn't even have to look up to now it was Tyler and that ge was trained on your reaction.  

"Why does he always do that?" You said, laughing when you took in Bentley's startled expression.

"Flirting," Danielle said matter-of-factly.

"Well, he can stop," you said, "he already sweet-talked me into moving in with him."

"Well, stop blushing then," Danielle said, and now you felt the heat in your cheeks.  

You were so screwed.  

"I’m not, it's just a bit warm in here," you tried.

"It's an ice rink," Brooke pointed out, and you bit back a laugh, looking out onto the ice, the reason that you were here.

The baby.

"Do you think he's warm enough?" You asked

  You'd actually put pants on him for the first time in months so he was in layers, but you hadn't actually expected him to go out on the ice.

"Tyler?" Brooke asked, and you had to look over at her to know she was joking.  "Yeah, pretty sure the stuff they have them wear is pretty warm."

"No, Bentley," you said, "I don't care if Tyler's warm enough.  Well, I care, but he can deal with it, he's the one who chose to play this ice sport."

That garnered a laugh from both Brooke and Danielle, Bentley looking around curiously as if he didn't understand what was quite so funny, yet wanted to be in on the joke.

"He doesn't feel cold," Danielle said, taking Bentley's hands in hers, feeling them.  You leaned down anyways, pulling his blanket out so you could tuck it around his feet.

"I was gonna put a footsie pajama on him but Tyler said he'd be too warm," You said, "And he's too old to be going out in his jammies now."

Danielle stifled a laugh, which came out as a snort.  "Wait, he thinks he's a baby stylist now?"

"He gets disappointed if he comes home from the gym and I already have Bentley dressed, " You said.  He was actually good at it, too, picking out coordinated outfits and often pairing them with a hat, which he said was to keep the sun out of Bentley's eyes but you suspected was just for looks.  He'd asked you a couple of times for certain things that you didn't have, making you feel confident 5hat Bentley's wardrobe was going to be growing once you moved to your seasonal home. 

"Whatcha looking at?" You asked Bentley, his eyes gazing around in front of you, the sound of skates against ice surrounding you, and you spotted Tyler immediately, watching his arou3nd the front of the net. You took his Bentley's hands in yours, clapping them together like he was cheering. "Can you say 'Go Dada'"?

As soon as you heard the word come out of your mouth you tipped your head back, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

Sure, it wasn't the first time that you'd done that, but you really, really had to stop doing that.  

Especially when there were people around.  Yet, you couldn’t really do it in your head either as that just made it more real, the word could slip out that much easier.

"I can't believe that I did that again," you said because Brooke and Danielle were looking at you, like maybe you'd maybe that transition and you'd hadn't told anyone yet.

"..he's still not?" Danielle said, her voice soft and yet you understood her words.  

You shrugged and shook your head easily because you’d slipped up a couple times already and he hadn't mentioned it, but he'd referred to himself as Uncle in the car.  "It would be so much easier if he just....stopped acting like a dad," you confessed. You laughed because it was so much easier to stick to the uncle’s word when Tyler was looking to Bentley to play with and was ready to look to you the second he started fussing.

"You know he's committed though, right?" Danielle asked, turning to you.

"Yeah, I know," you said because that was one thing you'd never doubted.

"As he asked you to move in with him," she continued.  "That's a huge deal.  Especially for Tyler."

"What is that supposed to mean?" You laughed.  

"You know how he always talks about girls being 'clingy' if they spend the night," she said, "and then you spent practically every night at his house last summer."

"I did not spend every night at his house," you protested, and Danielle gave you a pointed look.  "Okay, but it wasn't like a thing."

"Yeah, exactly," she said, with satisfaction, as if you just proved her point. "He, like, wanted you as his "friend" there.  Now imagine living together on purpose."

"Yeah," you said dreamily because that was what you were really looking forward to, not the casual keeping things at each other's place that could easily be packed up, but having your lives so intertwined that you no longer knew which things were whose.

"Okay, let's just...stop talking about the move," you said because you'd been so focused on packing and planning that you just wanted to escape for an afternoon. "We're supposed to be here to watch the game, and we have no idea what's going on.."

"Yeah, you're so into him," Danielle teased, her smile matching yours. "Never have you been so interested in hockey."

"Well, I got to teach Bentley what's going on," Tyler's not gonna help me explain when he's out there."

You were glad, though,  that you were able to catch bits and pieces of the game between your chatting and keeping Bentley entertained because you caught Tyler's goal, standing Bentley up on your lap.  "Go "Yay!", you said, dancing him around on your lap until he let out a happy giggle, just catching Tyler's glance towards where you were seated.

"The only one you're gonna have to compete with for Tyler's attention is this guy," Danielle said, her fingers tickling Bentley's belly, causing a delighted squeal.  

"And the dogs," you said, "but I am totally okay with that, that’s exactly what I signed up for."

You were also glad that Bentley was handling the big outing like a champ, especially with him being awake for longer periods during the day now.  But you were definitely grateful for the extra hands, Danielle soaking up as much time with Bentley as she could.

"Wow, so this is what being a WAG is like," Brooke said after you’d given your name so you could go and meet Tyler after.

"Okay, this is no different than before," you said, leading the way through the hallways that were so familiar to you, finding Tyler leaning against the wall, his damp hair curling around his face.

"Hey," he said, pushing himself off the wall when he saw you, hand curving around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"But that's different," Danielle said, and you laughed under your breath.  Tyler raised his eyebrows a bit but didn't ask about it.

"Hey, guys," he said instead, reaching out to brush his finger against Bentley's hand.  "Was he okay ?"

 "Yeah, he stayed awake the whole time, he was watching," you said, meaning that he was looking at everything going on around him, not at just what was happening on the ice.  But Tyler didn't need to know that. 

"Yeah, I saw you cheering, " Tyler said in his baby voice, "while mommy was sleeping."

"It was the one time," you defended, which made Tyler laugh, your smile betraying your false annoyance.  "Are you ever gonna let me forget it?"

Tyler shook his head, a smirk played on his face. "Don't even with the pregnancy thing, I know you can stay awake when you really want to."

"You fall asleep too," you insisted.

"No, I don't," he scoffed, and you nodded.  "When?"

"You slept his whole first night on the hospital," you said, nodding towards Bentley.  

Which was a bit much, because it wasn't like it was his responsibility to wake up to check on the baby, but Tyler just tilted his head, a smile spreading across his face.

"Okay, you're right," he admitted, looking through the doorway to the gym where there was a small crew setting up for the shoot.  "I'll probably be like 20 minutes or something if you guys want to go ahead, I can meet you there."

"We can wait," Danielle answered for you, bouncing Bentley, and you nodded your agreement.  

"K, we're ready for you, Segs," a voice said and you followed the voice to see a tall man, just a little surprised that Tyler was talking to a group of people, yet he seemed to recover quickly.

"This is Biz," Tyler introduced, at the same time as he introduced himself as Paul and you looked at Tyler in confusion, even as you introduced yourself.  "Hockey thing," Tyler clarified.

"Oh," you said, redirecting yourself to the handshake and repeating your name once more, which you were certain you heard Tyler snicker about.   You enjoyed watching Tyler more than you thought you would actually, listening to him talk about his training routine and summer schedule while Danielle walked down the hall with Bentley, a quick glance making you think she searching for your grad class photos to point out to Bentley, even though so many more photos of Tyler alone or with his hockey team existed amongst those walls.  

"So, usually come out here early and train and then get on the ice for a bit, then I drive back to the lake, unwind, do stuff around the house, cook dinner.."

"By yourself?" Paul/Biz asked now, and Tyler's lips ticked up into a mischievous smirk.

"Maybe."

"So are you extending the invite then?"

"I mean, just with the guys I train with," Tyler said, Biz's eyebrows raising.

"Well, I don't think I got the invite."

"Currently still train with," Tyler clarified. 

"Hey, I think I could still jump in here."

Tyler's eyes trained up and down his body as if in evaluation.  "Yeah, you look pretty ripped."

"Oh, not like you," Biz scoffed, gesturing towards Tyler, wheels seeming to turn in his head.  "Any girlfriend?"

You watched Tyler's eyes dart towards your direction and then bounce back as they'd never been there, his lips turning up in a boyish grin, arms crossing over his chest. "Yeah."

You watched as Biz's eyes bulged out of his head in shock, examining Tyler like he wasn't sure if he was telling the truth.  

"No shit," he said, pushing Tyler in the arm, and then somewhat glancing where you were standing with Brooke.  "Is she here?"

Tyler shook his head, running his hand over his chin.  "No," he said, settling his hand on his jaw before he smiled mischievously.  "Is that all about her then, like..?"

"I mean, unless you have something else to say about her then," Biz said, speaking with his hands.

"I mean, she's awesome," Tyler said, "I like her."

And you brushed the confusion of that you felt off until Tyler siled back up next to you, afterward, his voice low like it was just meant for you.  "Hey, I just said you weren't here cause," he nodded towards Bentley, "I just don't want anything to slip by accident."

"Okay," you said easily, thankful your mind didn't go there, but equally appreciative that he'd thought to explain it to you, your eye wandering over the walls behind him.  "It’s weird being back here, eh?"

"Eh?" Tyler teased, "I mean, I've been here pretty much every day this summer but.."

"You know what I mean," you clarified.

Tyler ran his hand over his chin, taking his time in response.  "I don't know, I kind of like where I am now."

You raised your eyebrows, giving him a look to show he was right, and he returned your gaze, looking briefly over his shoulder, and you got the impression he was ready to leave. 

"We're good," Biz said, making his way back over, your head turning as you thought you heard Bentley starting to make fussing noises. "So this the girl then?"  He asked, nodding towards you, and you shot Tyler a look as Biz waited for his response, because Tyler really wasn't as subtle as he thought he was.

"Well.. yeah," he admitted, letting out a breath of laughter like he’d been caught with a secret he'd just been waiting to reveal.

And now Biz was reintroducing himself to you again, and you had a brief glimpse into what it felt like to be Tyler Seguin's girlfriend rather than just you.

"How'd you guys meet?" He asked, and you found yourself deferring to Tyler, like you weren't sure how much he wanted to share.

"We went to school together actually," Tyler said, "high school.  She was smart enough to go to University."

"Really?" Biz asked like he'd expected Tyler to say you met at a party or through Instagram, not that you'd met when Facebook was just becoming a thing.

"Yeah, her picture's up around here somewhere."

"You got any good stories?" Biz asked, turning his attention back to you.

"No, she does not," Tyler answered for you, his arm coming around you, pressing a kiss to your temple,  and you felt yourself relax with his presence.  You turned only when you heard Bentley cry, Tyler allowing you to pull away.  You instinctively reached out to take Bentley from Danielle,  bouncing him as you turned back, trying to settle Bentley's head against your chest, knowing that he must be getting tired.

"Kid too?" Biz asked, and you failed to notice it was a joke,   freezing when you realized that Tyler's hand was settled on your waist, both of you leaning in towards the baby like attentive parents.

Tyler's hand shifted on you as he turned, his hand moving across his face as he spoke.  "It's...kind of a long story.," he said, and Biz looked at you both apologetically, realizing he hadn’t thought through his words before he spoke. But it was okay. "I'll have to tell you about it sometime."  

You were glad that that quelled everything, half-listening to the small talk about the start of the season, putting Bentley into his carrier, not wanting to miss the window for getting him to sleep.  Brooke and Danielle went ahead to get you a table at the restaurant while you and Tyler took your time saying goodbye a little more slowly, moving your body to soothe Bentley, and getting a few comments about how cute he was.

"You okay with him?" Tyler asked once you were making your way out of the arena like he hadn't just been playing hockey.

"Yeah, I don't want to move him and wake him up," you said, keeping on hand on Bentley's back, but using the other to reach for Tyler's hand, Tyler's lips turning up into a soft smile as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

"No, we don't want that," Tyler agreed.

"I barely even held him in there, either," you said with a smile,  loving that everybody loved him as much as you did.

"Oh, look whose Mr. Popular," Tyler teased.

You heard the excited little gasps which meant you turned to see a group of kid's yelling "Tyler Seguin!" like Tyler needed to hear his full name in either to respond.

"Looks like you're Mr. Popular," you said with a smile, and Tyler gave you a slightly sheepish look, you letting him slide away, and he instantly turned his attention to the kids, just as excited to see them as they were to see him.

You leaned down, pressing your lips to Bentley's head, your hand rubbing up and down his back as you listened to Tyler talk excitedly with the kids about what position they played, and what made them love hockey in between pictures and autographs.

"Sorry'" Tyler said when he appeared back at your side, easing into you like he had something to apologize for, and you weren't just spending the entire time loving him.   And you shook your head, smiling, and leaning in to kiss him, Bentley nestled between you.

Because him you’d wait forever for.

[babymetaldoll]

Danger Days - Chapter eight: "You don't own me"

Word count: 8,6K

Summary:  Joey is back and finally reunited with Matthew. Gubler is, by the way, crazy jealous about Mikey.

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, penetrative sex, cursing, jealousy.

A/N: Is Matthew right to be so jealous? ... I'm guessing the answer is yes.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |

-

::: November 6th, 2010:::

The show was over, sweat dripping down Gerard’s face. He could still listen to the crowd yelling as he walked out of the stage and over the dressing room. He was tired, it was the last date of the leg of the tour, and he felt ready for a good break from being on the road.

Frank grabbed a bottle of water and drank almost half of it. Joey looked at him with a funny stare.

- “Shit! You were fucking dehydrated!”

- “And you failed in your crusade to keep me moisturized”- the drummer burst out laughing and hugged him friendly

- “I can’t believe you remember that!!”

- “You never forget a girl who promised to moisturize you”- the guitarist kissed her cheek, both of them were pretty sweated, but neither of them seemed to care.

- “Fuck Jersey, I’m gonna miss you. I’m not gonna listen to your weird, kinky jokes in a whole month.”

- “Bug, you are so gonna get my calls, so many calls!!”- Joey laughed and let him go.

She was honestly gonna miss him. Though she had managed to stop flirting and staring at him like she knew she had done, their friendship continued to grow, and they were closer than ever. Gerard hated it, but there was nothing he could do about it.

- "Come on!"- Ray argued, overhearing the conversation- "It’s just one month! And you better enjoy it, ‘cos starting February, you are not getting rid of us."

- "And you are not getting rid of me these days either"- Mikey quickly added, and Joey stuck her tongue out to him.

- "That I already knew, bróðir!"

- "It was a good show"- Gerard said out of the blue, and everybody looked at him.

- "Yeah"- they all answered and sat for a while. Ray took off his shirt and looked for a clean one in his bag. Joey quickly ran over and tapped on his pectorals.

- "I’ve seen these a hundred times already, and I still can’t get over the fact you’ve got better tits than I do!"- Ray burst out laughing as Gerard turned around not to see that scene.

In the latest days, he had had to swallow all his jealousy in a slightly successful attempt to stay a little further away from Joey. But staring at her being so close and friendly with everybody was making shit harder for Way. It was a good thing they had a month’s break. Maybe that would help to cool off his head from that crush.

- "So, dinner?"- Frank asked as he took off his shirt too to change into a dry one.

- "First a shower, then dinner and then… to the airport?"- Joey looked at her wristwatch- "Why are we flying at three in the morning?"

- "‘Cos it was the only flight available"- Ray quickly answered and cut the girl a smile- "But it gives us time to shower, eat dinner and get chocolates in the duty-free."

- "You had me at “shower,” then you said chocolates, and you made it perfect"- she answered and grabbed a shirt from her bag. It was the same every time. Gerard would get all excited about the possibility of her taking off her shirt right there with them, but she would always lock in the bathroom for a quick change.

- "Bummer!!"- Frank yelled as soon as Joey closed the bathroom door behind her back- "One day, we are gonna get a shitty venue without a bathroom or whatever, and you are gonna have to show us your bra!!"

- "Never!!"- Joey yelled, laughing from the bathroom. Frank laughed too and sighed. He made it sound like a joke, but he was dead serious about it. He still had a crush on the girl, though he had managed to keep it under control.

Dinner was nice. The band ate at the hotel and left for the airport. Gerard was excited to think maybe if he had a seat with Joey again, but no, he didn’t. Instead, she was alone with a stranger the whole flight to Munich. She didn’t really mind though, she would enjoy the little time alone she got after being most of her time locked in a bus with the band. It was fun, but it could get to be a little too much. And though she wasn’t really a woman with many female friends, she needed a more women-friendly environment for a while. Maybe not having Mikey farting most of the day was going to be nice. Or Frank burping. Or Gerard staring at her. Shit, Gerard staring at her was the worst, ‘cos it made her feel awkward. She needed to get away from him for a while.

The flight from Munich to New York was too long to be true. Luckily, the whole band was too tired to be awake most of the time. They got into the plane and fell asleep right away. Frank looked at Ray sitting next to him and punched his shoulder, forcing him to take out his headphones, pause his movie, and looked at his friend.

- "What?"

- "What are you doing?"- Iero asked and grinned.

- "Fuck you, Frank"- and the boy just laughed.

- "I wanted to know if Christa is picking you up or if you need a ride home. Jamia is coming with the girls to the airport."

- "Thanks, but Christa is coming for me, and my plan is to stay awake to get this jetlag straight."

- "Yeah"- Frank smiled and elbowed his friend- "Sure thing, the jetlag... "- Ray blushed and smacked his friend’s head.

- "I don’t appreciate you talking about me and my wife private life."

- "I didn’t say a thing."

- "Shut up!"- Joey and Mikey said at the same time, sitting right behind the other guys.

- "Stop speaking at the same time. It’s disturbing"- Frank agued and turned around to look at them.

- "Be glad you only have a half-hour left with us then"- Mikey quickly answered and wrapped an arm around Joey’s neck.

- "I’m so sorry for Gerard. He is stuck with you for another six hours."

- "He has been stuck with me his whole life. He is going to have to bear with it"- Mikey said, chuckling.

Needless to say, Gerard didn’t really have a problem with being with Joey for another couple of hours.

The goodbye was slightly sad. And a little awkward. Frank and Ray insisted on introducing Joey to their wives. And considering they had a whole hour to kill before boarding their next flight, the drummer agreed.

It was so weird meeting Jamia, but it also helped her kill the little crush she had on Frank.

Jamia was gorgeous, and the babies - Cherry and Lily- were the cutest. Frank changed completely as soon as he was with them. He turned into a dad and stopped being the annoying teenager Joey had spent two weeks with.

- "It’s so great to finally meet you"- Jamia said as she shook the drummer’s hand with a huge smile.

- "Me too! Frank has talked so much about you I feel like I’ve known you for years now"- which was totally the truth. In the last days, Frank had gotten so excited to go home, he wouldn’t stop talking about his life in Jersey.

- "I am so sorry"- Jamia said as they all sat down in a Starbuck.

- "What for?"

- "Anything my husband has done to make you uncomfortable, like farting, and burping, and being gross"- Joey burst out laughing and turned to her friend.

- "Jersey, your wife is an angel. She is a keeper"- and the guitarist smiled, proud.

- "I know, I don’t know how she can bear with me."

- "Probably ‘cos she had your babies"- Joey grinned, and Frank stuck out her tongue to her. Gerard and Mikey sipped their coffee in silence- "Too bad dad had to go so quickly. I wanted to meet Christa better."

- "You’ll have another chance, Bug"- Mikey smiled at her and sighed. He didn’t really want to go back home. It meant facing the inevitable: his divorce.

Joey and Jamia chatted for a long while. Mrs. Iero needed to know what she was dealing with. And mostly if she was going to get a chance to meet Matthew. By the end of their coffee, Jamia felt much more calmed to know the drummer, and Joey felt so much better to feel Mrs. Iero didn’t hate her. It really scared her to think any of the wives of her colleagues could think something wrong about her, except for Lynz. She didn’t scare her… it panicked her. If she only knew what she wanted to do to her husband.

Frank hugged Joey tight, keeping a safe emotional distance thanks to the proximity of his wife and his real-life in Jersey. He also hugged Mikey and Gerard and promised to call soon. Then, the Way brothers and Joey walked to the domestic terminal and looked for their gate. They got there just when they had started boarding.

- "Seems like we are all sitting together"- Gerard said, taking a look at their boarding passes.

- "Awww, my last six hours with you"- Joey quickly answered and smiled.

- "Stop saying that. You really aren’t getting rid of me these days"- the youngest Way said with a funny smile.

- "Next week I’m flying to Seattle for a few days, you are gonna have to learn to live without me, Mikey Way"- Joey quickly answered and kept walking with him to the gate.

- "Damn it! What am I supposed to do those days?"

- "Go torture Gerard for a change"- she replied and looked at Gee, who was staring back at her. But instead of saying anything about his brother, the singer asked.

- "Are you going to see your parents?"

- "Yes! Mom is forcing me to go and pretty much making me feel guilty for “abandon them” for my job."

- "Wow, that sounds harsh"- Mikey raised an eyebrow- "Can I go with you?"

- "No, Mikey. Matthew is coming along, and he is actually going to meet my parents, which is a huge deal for me."

- "Why?"

- "My parents have never met one of my boyfriends"- Joey confessed and passed her boarding pass to the crew by the gate of their flight.

- "Never?"- Gerard was surprised- "Why?"

-"I’ve never had a serious boyfriend."

- "Again, never?"- Gerard was surprised, and so was Mikey.

- "Yeah. I’m not really a people person, and I don’t usually date a lot, so… that’s it"- Joey cut them a fake smile and started walking to the plane, followed by her friends.

- "I can’t believe you are not a people person. That’s really bullshit"- Mikey argued but met Joey’s serious face.

- "I am, and that’s it."

By the tone of her voice, the two guys knew she wasn’t joking about it. So neither of them kept asking questions and remained quiet until they all sat down. The girl was sitting in the middle of the two guys, which made the three of them very happy. At least she knew she could talk to Gerard not feeling awkward ‘cos Mikey was right there to join the conversation too. Well, that if she made it to speak to Gerard, considering they both had been ignoring each other basically the whole week.

But it was a good flight. The three of them kept sleeping most of the time, watched a movie. Joey kept reading her book, Gerard borrowed it for a while, and Mikey kept reading the comics he had gotten in the airport. A typical trip for the three of them.

Matthew was waiting for Joey outside her gate. And as soon as she saw him, she ran to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around him and feeling his hands holding her tight.

- "Akumu"- she managed to whisper, rubbing her lips against him, refusing to stop the kiss.

- "My Yami"- he said and smiled, to keep on kissing her- "I missed you so much!"

- "I missed you more."

- "Please, never leave again."

- "I’m here now, and I love you so."

- "I love you so much."

Joey couldn’t stop kissing her boyfriend, and he refused to let her go, though people kept staring at them. One of which was Gerard Way.

- "Come on, kids! get a room"- Mikey said and tapped on Matthew’s back- "And be respectful of my sister in public places. Come on! she is a lady!"

- "Go away, bróðir"- Joey managed to say, still rubbing her lips against Matthew’s

- "You little rebel, hey man"- all the interruption forced the couple to stop their lovely reunion.

- "Hey"- Matthew shook Mikey’s and Gerard’s hands. The youngest Way smiled friendly, but his older brother couldn’t even fake it. He really hated Gubler.

- "Hello"- was the only thing he managed to say.

- "How was your trip?"- Gubler asked and smiled at the guys, now wrapping an arm around Joey and kissing her temple several times.

Gerard hated Matthew more and more with every second that passed. The singer had only managed to kiss her once on the forehead. This guy could kiss her whole body and probably have already. And most probably, he was going to do it again in the following hours. The whole idea made him jealous as hell.

- "Wait, how did you get here?"- Joey asked him and looked around- "You are not boarding a plane now, are you?"

- "No, Yami. I just… managed to ask for permission to get here for you and only for you"- Gerard wanted to smash Gubler’s head against the nearest wall. Joey pouted and kissed her boyfriend for what seemed to be a thousand times.

- "I love you"- she whispered and smiled.

- "Somebody’s gonna get laid!!"- Mikey joked as the couple kept on making out- "Ok, ok, come on, let’s go get our bags so you little love birds can… stop doing this in front of me!"

Mikey said and started walking. Gerard couldn’t agree with his brother more.

Lynz greeted her husband at the front door with the biggest kiss and the warmest hug. He kissed her back and smiled, feeling home. It felt good to have her in his arms. To have someone he loved wrapping her arms around him for a change. It had been too long since he felt that. And he didn’t want to let her go.

Mikey walked into an empty house. Alicia had taken pretty much everything. His house was filled with eco and desolation. Tears started falling down his cheeks. Tears soon became a waterfall. He sat on the floor, resting his back against the wall, howling. He hadn’t cried like that in years.

He took a look around at the empty walls. The empty room. His empty life, and realized how lonely he felt. He could fill the time on tour with his friends, with booze, with the shows. But in real life, on his daily basis, Mikey Way was ultimately and unquestionably alone. And that day, there was nothing he could do about it to face it.

Matthew could barely open the door as he refused to stop kissing his girlfriend. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and her lips traveled from his mouth to his neck nonstop.

- "Yami... the..."

- "Fuck me right here against the door, I don’t care"- she whispered, and he groaned.

- "Don’t test me!"

The actor somehow managed to open the door, kicked the bags inside, and found the nearest couch.

- "I missed you so fucking much"- she whispered and pulled up his shirt.

- "Me most! And I needed to fuck you so badly. I hadn’t jerked off this much since I was in high school."

- "Then fuck me, Matthew Gray."

- "My plan exactly."

Joey didn’t care about the jetlag; she didn’t care about how tired she felt. She just wanted to feel her boyfriend inside of her as fast as possible 'cos fuck, she had missed him. And seeing him on top of her half-naked already made her feel as ready as she could be.

His lips played on her skin, making her shiver, as he licked and nibbled every inch of her that was possible. Joey’s hands kept moving on his skin as her eyes kept staring at him on top of her. It seemed he was hungry for her, and she wanted to be devoured.

- "Yami"- he whispered and kissed her neck as he finished taking all of her clothing off- "How much did you miss me?"

- "So much"- she moaned as his hardon rubbed her clit.

- "Show me how much you missed me"- she blushed as the two of them stayed still for a second, staring at each other. Joey slowly opened her legs and let Matthew in. Both of them groaned at the very same time as he filled her up completely.

- "Shit"- Joey bit his arm and scratched her nails on his skin.

- "So tight..."- he managed to say as he started thrusting slowly.

- "Just for you"- the girl sighed and kissed his neck

- "You feel so good, Yami."

Joey’s legs were wrapped firmly around his torso as his hand grabbed on hers, intertwining their fingers against one of the cushions of the couch. Their lips were sealed together, only parting for air every once in a while. And when they did, their eyes crushed, staring in complete silence, just moaning, just kissing, just enjoying the fact they were finally together again.

And they had never wanted each other more. It was sweet. It was passionate. It was love.

- "Please, make me cum"- Joey whispered and watched him smile.

- "Your wishes are my commands"- with those words, Matthew fastened his peace and looked at her. He propped up on his elbows, thrusting into her and hitting her g-spot with every single stroke. He wanted to kiss her, but he couldn’t stop staring at her with her eyes closed, whimpering and whispering his name.

- "You look so hot"- Gubler murmured, but she wasn’t able to answer. Instead, her moaning increased and turned into a yell filled with pleasure as she came, which was surely heard by the whole building.

- "Matthew..."- she managed to say as she caught her breath for a second.

- "I’m gonna... "- he whimpered against the skin he bit raw. His thrusts turned messier as he started losing into her, releasing himself and groaning deep into her shoulder as she kept her arms and legs around him.

- "Sorry"- he whispered and chuckled- "That was too fast."

- "I don’t care, we have time to do it again"- she answered and kissed him with a big smile.

- "I just missed you so fucking much."

- "I know, I missed you too... wanna shower with me?"

- "I wanna do everything with you"- she smiled and felt his lips on hers for a sweet kiss. She loved him. She didn’t want to forget that.

::: November 18th, 2010 :::

Matthew frowned as he walked into Joey’s apartment and saw Mikey sitting on the floor, holding a joystick. During the whole time he had dated Joey, Gubler had never met one of her friends. She didn’t have many- or any actually- and he knew it. They mainly were work buddies, or like Tucker, they lived far away. The drummer really hadn’t made friends in Los Angeles. That’s why it was so weird for him to see Mikey Way at her house now pretty much every day. Or that’s how it felt.

- "Hey Gub! Nice to see you again"- the bassist said and smiled, returning his eyes to the screen and pausing the game one second later- "Joey is getting ready for your date."

- "Hey, great… how are you?"

- "Awesome, we literally smashed Assassins Creed today"- Mikey smiled and pointed at the Playstation.

- "Sounds fun."

- "I’m ready, Akumu"- Matthew smiled and looked at Joey walking out of her room.

- "Wow"- he whispered and wide opened his eyes- "You look amazing!"

- "Thank you"- the drummer’s cheeks blushed as her boyfriend walked over and landed his hands on her hips, moving her closer to her body and rubbing his lips against hers for a moment before saying

- "Are you sure you wanna go out? We could stay here and take that dress off slowly"- and she giggled nervously at his insinuations.

- "If we go out and you look at me in the dress for a long while, you might want to take it off even more eagerly, and it might feel even better when you do it"- she murmured, looking straight into his eyes and kissed his lips.

- "Let me see you"- Mikey said and walked over, ruining the sexy moment- "Damn! You never ever dressed like that when we were on the road"- Mikey said and looked at her up and down, something that bothered Matthew very much.

Gubler was a jealous boyfriend, and Joey didn’t like that, so he always hid it. But most of the time, when a guy was too close to her, it honestly bothered him. Needless to say, the fact she was working with a band and a crew of only men, her being the only woman, hunted him day and night. But he made his best and didn’t say a thing ‘cos he wanted to support her no matter what. But Mikey was making things hard for him.

- "Stop it, bróðir!!"- she punched his arm and smiled- "What are you doing tonight?"

- "I guess I’ll stop by Gerard’s and annoy the fuck out of him."

- "Sounds like fun, say hi from me"- Joey grabbed her bag and jacket- "See you tomorrow?"

- "Yeah! I need you to come with me to Fender"- Way announced.

- "Why?"

- "They are working on a custom mustang bass for me. I designed it, and we are going to check it out."

- "Wow!"- Matthew said, surprised- "Dude, that’s great!"- but Mikey just shrugged. He was so depressed he really didn’t care.

- "I guess… anyway, I have to be there at noon."

- "On a Saturday?"- Joey frowned.

- "Yeah… I told them I couldn’t do it any other day."

- "Aren’t you being a little bitch with people just ‘cos you can?"- Joey teased him, and he smiled

- "I actually couldn’t"- Joey raised an eye and turned to her boyfriend.

- "Shall we? Mikey, lock the door when you leave"- they high-fived, and the couple left.

- "Wait… did you give him a spare key?"- Matthew asked, frowning as he realized what his girlfriend had just said.

- "Yeah, why?"- Joey didn’t seem to notice her boyfriend was serious about it.

- "‘Cos you met him last month."

- "And I’ve lived half of that time with him. I think I can trust him. He is my friend"- Joey made lights off of the whole deal, but Matthew was honestly mad.

- "I don’t like this"- he simply said and started the car.

- "Why?"

- "‘Cos I feel he is taking all of your free time."

- "That’s not true! I spend 99% of my time with you! I even go to the set with you! And I spend most nights at your house! So what is wrong with me also spending some time with my friend? Who is, by the way, the only friend I’ve got here in L.A?"

- "But... "- Matthew didn’t seem to find an argument to win that battle, or at least that could make sense to Joey.

- "But what? You don’t want me to hang out with other people?"

- "It’s not that! I just… find it weird that you work with them and go out with him and…"

- "He is my friend, Matthew!"- Joey sighed and looked straight at the road as her boyfriend kept driving. So much for a date’s mood. Gubler took a deep breath and started talking very slowly to sound calm.

- "I know he is your friend, and that’s not what bothers me…"

- "Then?"- the girl turned to her boyfriend and raised an eyebrow- "Are you jealous of Mikey?"

- "No…"- he hesitated, ashamed and even a little scared of Joey’s reaction.

- "You can’t be jealous of Mikey. He just lost his marriage. I am his friend, and he is fucking alone."

- "He has his brother and probably other friends"- Joey made a pause before answering because she felt bad talking about Gerard in front of Gubler.

- "Yeah, but he has his marriage, and I think his wife is best friends with Mikey’s ex… if Mikey didn’t want to tell him, do you think he wants to share his darkest moment with him?"

- "No, but why you?"

- "So you think he has a crush on me! What are you? Fifteen?"

- "No! That’s not what I meant!"

- "Then?"

- "I don’t know!! We’ve never been through this before! I just find it weird!"

- "So you are jealous"

- "Yes! Of course, I am!"- Matthew finally exploded- "But I trust you, so I know nothing bad will happen!"

Joey didn’t answer. She just started outside the window and counted to ten.

- "Yami?"

- "I trust you too, Akumu. And believe me, nothing is gonna happen between Mikey and me"- she whispered and felt her cheeks burning- "But please, don’t get jealous of him. He is the closest thing I’ve ever have of a brother in my entire life, and I love him very much."

The girl made her best to be calmed, she didn’t want to ruin the moment, and she made her best to understand what her boyfriend was going through. Though she hated to face that he was jealous, she could get how her boyfriend felt. It would be too cynical to tell him he had no one to be jealous of because he had no idea how she felt about Gerard. But that was completely platonic and not a threat at all.

- "So… are we ok?"- Matthew asked with a soft tone of voice and held his girlfriend’s hand.

- "We are ok, Akumu"- Joey answered and cut him a warm smile- "Are you ok with me going to Fender tomorrow with Mikey?"

- "Yes..."- he answered without hesitations.

- "Awesome ‘cos I was going to do it anyway."

Mikey lit a cigarette and looked up to the stars in the sky. He was sitting in his older brother’s backyard, drinking a beer, and basically just being there, trying not to think. Gerard was smoking next to him in silence, drawing something to kill time and sipping a diet coke from time to time.

- "So how was your day?"- he finally asked his younger brother.

- "It was good. I was with Joey the whole day"- and Gerard nearly chook- "We played video games, ordered pizza, and basically just did my favorite thing, nothing."

- "How is she?"

- "Great, she had a date night today; otherwise, I would have stayed for a slumber party with her and Gubler."

- "With him too?"

- "Yeah, he is a nice guy. He is obviously jealous as fuck, but Joey doesn’t seem to care, and neither do I actually"- Gerard chuckled

- "So he is jealous of all of us or just you?"

- "Just me… I guess it’s because we hang out a lot."

- "You do? Really?"

- "Almost every time she is not with him. We are going out tomorrow."

- "Where are you going to?"- and that was really something that caught Gerard’s attention

- "To Fender to check how’s my bass going. Wanna come along?"- the temptation was too big for Gerard to avoid.

- "Yeah, it sounds fun"- and he made his best to sound as casual as possible.

- "Great…"- Mikey took a long drag of his cigarette and stayed quiet again. Lynz walked over and cut them a short smile. Gerard’s little brother nodded but didn’t say anything.

- "I’m going out, guys,"- she announced and looked at his husband- "I’m gonna hang out with the girls"- and the girls included Mikey’s ex-wife. Everybody knew they were best friends.

- "Have fun, honey"- Gerard kissed her and smiled. Mikey waved and sighed- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah"- he quickly answered and finished his beer- "I’m gonna take a piss."

Mikey locked himself in the bathroom and burst out crying. He was a wreck, and he didn’t want to show it, not to his brother. He didn’t need his pity. That’s why he hadn’t hung out with him so much those days. That’s why he was stuck at Joey most of her free time.

Alicia had destroyed him. Each time they talked, he ended up even more broken-hearted, more miserable. More alone. Joey had insisted on taking him to see her therapist, but he kept refusing. Instead, he had beer, or vodka, or whatever there was around. And cigarettes and the tv to numb his brain.

- "Are you excited to meet my parents?"- Joey asked Matthew as they sat in front of each other, smiling. He had taken her to her favorite Thai restaurant for dinner, and she was in heaven.

- "Scared maybe"- he whispered and blushed.

- "Why?"

- "I can’t stop thinking your dad is gonna be this tall, brawny Icelandic guy that’s gonna break every bone in my body for dating his daughter"- Joey burst out laughing and nodded.

- "That might be true, but my mom is gonna love you. And she is gonna overfeed you, so tomorrow you should eat light"- Matthew chuckled and held Joey’s hand.

- "I love you so much, Yami"- and she blushed.

- "Akamu, I think I love you more"- they stared at each other for a moment with a goofy smile, until the moment was ruined by her cell phone- "I’m sorry."

The girl whispered and looked at the screen, laughing as Matthew looked at her, not getting what was going on?

- "What is it? What’s so funny?"

- "Frank just sent me a photo. He dressed his kids like pumpkins!! Look! They are so cute!!!"- the girl gave him her phone, and he smiled, faked a smile actually. And it was so obvious, Joey locked her phone and placed it in her pocket.

- "I just… can we have a minute without someone from the band taking your attention from me?"

- "You have my undivided attention! Can you stop being jealous?"

- "Yes… I can! but it’s hard!"- Gubler sighed and calmed himself down ‘cos he knew that was a lost battle.

- "You can take my phone if you want and keep it away"- she said and gave it to him, in one of the toughest decisions she had ever made. That meant Joey was actually doing what her boyfriend wanted her to do. She hated that.

But she loved Matthew and didn’t want to have another argument that night. Matthew took it, turned it off, and placed it in his pocket, enjoying for once a minute of power in that relationship. Joey wasn’t a girl easy to handle. He loved the challenge, but sometimes it felt she was too independent of him. For him.

The sun shining on his face woke Mikey up. And it was hell. Another day, another hungover. He had fallen asleep drunk in his brother’s spare room. Not that he wanted to go home anyway, he didn’t feel like being alone. He quickly rolled in bed and looked at the time. He was late. Groaning, he looked for his phone around the room, found it in his pants, and dialed. Joey’s phone was off.

- "Fuck!"

Joey rolled on her bed and smiled. Matthew was sound and asleep next to her. She cuddled closer to him and kissed his naked skin.

- "This is what I miss the most when you are not home"- he whispered, waking up.

- "The way I wake you up?"

- "No, my arm numbed underneath your neck"- Joey chuckled and moved to free Matthew’s arm- "Thank you."

- "Sorry"

- "Don’t be. I love snuggling with you. You can numb all my limbers"- the girl giggled and kissed her boyfriend’s lips sweetly.

- "All of them?"- Matthew smiled and wrapped both arms around her.

- "Every single one of them… but right now, I have to go to work"- the girl pouted and felt him kissing her lips over and over again.

- "Who schedules a Meet and Greet on a Saturday?"

- "People who work the rest of the week and only have time on Saturday."

- "Touché"- Matthew smiled at her and kissed her lips before getting out of bed- "Meets and greets are weird"- she said and wrapped her body on the sheet as she stared at her boyfriend walking around her room naked, preparing to take a shower- "You literally just meet and greet someone."

- "Yes, that’s why the name"- he answered, chuckling.

- "Sorry, I can’t be smart if you are walking naked in my room"- the girl whispered, blushing. Matthew looked at her and offered his hand.

- "Would you be smarter if you shower with me?"

- "Nop, but I can be totally naughty."

- "That’s my girl…"

Gerard was memorizing every single street as Mikey drove to Joey’s house. He had never been there; his brother seemed to be there always. It bothered him, of course, but today it seemed to be pretty helpful actually. It had been over a week since the last time he saw her, and there was a part of him that missed her deeply. The other part of him felt guilty for missing her so much.

Mikey grabbed his phone and dialed again. Still off. Her phone was never off. What if something bad had happened to her? He dialed again. Nothing. The bassist cursed himself for not having Matthew’s number.

- "Are we close?"- Gerard asked, not looking at his brother, and never noticed he was about to freak out.

- "Yeah"

- "And… does she live with her boyfriend?"

- "No, she has a little one-bedroom apartment, he has… I think an apartment too, but Joey doesn’t want to move in with him yet"- Mikey just said it and didn’t detect his brother’s brightening eyes.

- "Why?"

- "They haven’t dated that long. She feels they aren’t there yet… there it is!"- the youngest Way pointed at an apartment complex- "I don’t see Matthew’s car here, maybe they are at his house."

Gerard frowned at that idea, feeling selfish and stupid. He had sex with his wife that week. Why couldn’t Joey have sex with her boyfriend? Easy: ‘cos Gerard wanted her to be his and only his. But that thought was killing him slowly. He didn’t know how to turn it off.

The Way brothers took the elevator to the fifth floor, walked down the aisle, and knocked on Joey’s door. Neither of them said a thing. Mikey grabbed the keys from his pocket and hesitated. He decided to knock on the door again, in case the girl was with her boyfriend.

- "What’s that?"- Gerard quickly asked, confused- "Do you have a spare key to her house?"

- "Yeah"- he simply answered, not getting his brother’s frowned face- "We exchanged keys in case of an emergency, that’s what friends do"- and Mikey rang the bell again.

- "What’s the rush?!"- the girl opened the door and wide opened her eyes as she first noticed Gerard was there, looking at her. And she was only wearing a robe. Great.

- "I’ve been calling you all day, Bug!"- Mikey hugged her, honestly worried- "I thought something had happened to you!!"

- "Oh, come on! I just… don’t have my cellphone with me"- she whispered and felt her cheeks burning as Gerard looked at her up and down- "Hey"- that was all she could say and smiled at him- "Nice to see you."

- "Nice to see you too."

- "Come in. guys. There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen. I’m gonna finish getting dressed."

- "And Matthew?"- Mikey asked, already pouring a cup of coffee for him

- "He left five minutes ago. He and the crew have a meet and greet today."

- Awesome! That means I have extra time to annoy you today"- the girl heard her friend’s voice as she walked over to her closet to get dressed.

- "Yes, but I have to come back home early to pack my bags. We are leaving for Seattle tomorrow"- she yelled back and picked her outfit. Meanwhile, Gerard wandered around, checking every little detail of the house that could tell him a little more about her. There was a drum, an electric drum, and… Mikey’s old bass?

- "Why is that here?"- he asked his brother.

- "I left it here the other day. Bug and I were practicing some songs together."

Mikey simply answered and sat on the couch, grabbed the remote control, and turned on the tv. Gerard looked at him, feeling his brother felt really at home. What else could he find? A family picture of her and her parents, some pretty artworks on the walls, and a million Playstation games.

- "Are we too late??"- the girl showed up shoeless, with wet hair and no makeup on. Just like that, Gerard’s heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t stop staring, and Joey felt his eyes on her the whole time making her blush. Having him at her house was too overwhelming for her. She kept trying to make light off of the fact she was embarrassed and nervous. She hadn’t seen Gerard ever since that day at the airport, and there was a part of her that had tried unsuccessfully to forget how he made her feel. It was clear that Gerard Way’s effect on her was not something you could get rid of in a few days.

- "Yeah, but you still have… fifteen minutes to get ready"- Mikey said and grinned.

- "I can make it in ten"- and so, she disappeared back into her room, to emerge eight minutes later, fully dressed and ready to go.

- "Shit! That was fast!"- Mikey said and smiled- "And you are hot enough to be a trophy wife"- Joey frowned and punched his shoulder.

- "I am a woman, not a thing to show around."

- "I was just joking."

- "You know I hate those jokes"- she made a pause and raised an eyebrow to her friend.

- "Damn! that hurt"- he argued, still rubbing the spot she smacked and stared at his friend- "Come on, you know I was joking."

- "Yes, but part of being your little sister is teaching you not to be an asshole repeating sexist jokes."

- "Fine"- Mikey turned off the tv and looked at his brother, who hadn’t said a thing in a long while- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah… ready?"- Gerard quickly answered and looked down at his shoes, like looking for something he hadn’t actually lost.

- "Yeah, did you turn off the coffee maker?"- the girl looked at Mikey, and he didn’t move- "I’ll do it."

- "I didn’t remember Bug! Sorry!"- Joey walked to the kitchen and turned the machine off.

- "It’s ok, I would have checked it anyway"- she smiled as she walked back and opened the door- "Shall we?"

Having his own signature bass was Mikey’s dream. And for someone who was fulfilling his goal, the bassist didn’t really look happy. He checked the details, talked with the luthiers, played a little, made corrections, and set a date to see the progress in a week. But he didn’t smile at all the whole time.

- "How are you?"- Gerard whispered as he stood next to Joey at one side of the room, both of them staring at a wall filled with basses and guitars.

- "Good, you? How’s the break?"- she could almost feel her voice shaking as she talked to him. That’s how nervous he made her feel. And after so many days apart, the effect seemed to be getting worse, like a concentrated dose.

- "Good… very pleasant."

- "Are you having a nice weekend?"

- "Yes…"- he whispered and looked at her for a second- "I kinda missed you, you know? “Kinda missed you??! What the fuck was that, Gerard??! What are you?? twelve??!!”

- "Really?"- she whispered, surprised.

- "Yeah… you get used to being around people when you are touring."

- "That’s true"- Joey turned to him and smiled- "I’ve missed you too"- she whispered and looked back at the musical instruments around him.

- "You have?"

- "Sure. I haven’t talked to you since we got here. At least the other guys and I keep texting or calling each other. You vanished."

Gerard faked a smile and looked away. So it wasn’t just Mikey? all the guys talked to her daily, and he had no idea about it? Did that include Frank too?

- "Well, you haven’t texted either"- he simply replied and looked at her with a small smile.

- "You know I don’t have your number, right?"

- "What?"- Gee frowned, confused.

- "You never gave it to me… well, I never asked for it."

They looked at each other in silence, something that happened so often between them; it could be their natural behavior.

- "Would you give it to me?"- Gerard whispered, and neither of them moved.

- “That’s what scares me the most. Under other circumstances, I would give it to you,”- Joey thought and smiled, as her cheeks blushed

- "Your number"- he added and chuckled- “... Although.”

- "I know, perv. Give me your phone."

- "Hey kids!"- Mikey appeared next to them and smiled- "What are you doing?"

- "Giving your brother my number, ‘cos apparently, we weren’t friends until now."

- "Wow, that’s harsh! You didn’t ask for mine either!"- Gerard argued but chuckled.

- "Yeah, you keep saying that, but you didn’t offer it either, and Gerard Way’s number has to be something too exclusive to own."

- "Ok, you are both assholes"- Mikey ignored the whole conversation and looked at his friend- "I need you to help me, Bug"

- "What is it?"

- "I want you to help me pick up a new bass"

- "Don’t you have a hundred already?"- Joey teased him and walked with him

- "It’s not for me, it’s for you"- Joey stopped walking and frowned- "What? You need one."

- "I don’t."

- "Yes, you do, I’m gonna teach you, and I am not gonna lend you mines. They are too special."

- "Mikey…"- but he didn’t let her finish.

- "Besides, we are going to be touring so much, you are going to have to find something useful to do when we are on the bus. You can teach me drums, I can teach you bass, we are gonna be better musicians, it’s a win, win situation."

Mikey looked so excited about his idea Joey didn’t want to break the dream. Besides, it felt like he was making a project out of his whole idea, something to keep his mind entertained. And that sounded like a nice plan. Better than drinking himself to sleep most of the nights.

- "I’m not gonna convince you to change your mind, am I?"- she asked and giggled, staring at her friend’s serious face.

- "Nop"- he quickly answered, making sure the last “p” sounded loud, as it would make a statement or whatever.

- "Fine… but I’ll pay you back."

- "Oh, you are paying for it"- he quickly replied- "But not with money, I really want those drums lessons."

Gerard stared at the scene and sighed. His brother wrapped an arm around Joey’s neck as they walked to pick up her bass. He was jealous and worried at the same time. He was jealous of how close he was with her and how much he trusted her. Gee felt left aside from his problems. Joey had spent more time with his brother than him in the latest weeks. Ever since they met, actually. Why didn’t he trust his older brother anymore?

The bass they picked was a tidepool Player Jaguar Fender. Mikey carried it to his car and smiled proudly. Gerard took a Fender Rumble 15, and Joey just smiled embarrassedly.

- "You didn’t have to buy the amp"- she whispered to Gerard.

- "You can’t play bass without an amp"- he simply replied and smiled- "Besides, you can always pay me back in drum lessons too"- the girl chuckled, blushed, and looked at her friends.

- "Ok, kids, lunch is on me. You two deserve Joey’s signature menu for being this nice to me"- she grinned and got into the car.

- "And where are we going?"- Mikey sat behind the wheel and turned to her, just as Gerard, from the passenger seat

- "To my house, I am cooking you mi especialidad: bandeja paisa"- the Way brothers frowned and looked at each other- "Just come and eat like porks with me, ok?"

- "Fine"- Mikey answered and chuckled- "Are you gonna go all Latina on us?"

- "You better be sure I am."

- "I’ve never seen you like that"- Gerard said and looked at her again. She blushed and closed her eyes, embarrassed.

- "Well, I have, and it’s fucking weird!"- Mikey answered to his brother- "And when she starts mixing English, Icelandic, and Spanish… damn it!"

- "Vinsamlegast þegiðu! (Please shut up!)"- the girl shouted and hit Mikey’s shoulder- "Odio Cuando dices eso! (I hate it when you do that)"

- "See?"- the bassist turned to his friend- "It’s fucking weird."

- "Let’s take a selfie and send it to Frank and dad"- Joey said and looked for her phone in her bag. But never found it- "Oh fuck! Matthew has it"- she whispered and sighed.

Suddenly she remembered she had given it to him, and it bothered her to know she had given away some power to please a guy. Fuck, she deeply regretted doing that.

- "Let’s use my phone"- Gerard said and pointed the camera at them- "Ok, smile!!"

- "Say cheese!!"- Joey grinned, and the Way brother smiled- "Dad is gonna love that! He said he missed us too, he actually invited me to stay with him in Jersey while we rehearsed for the concert"- the girl said and looked outside the window- "I think it would be nice, I’ve never been to Jersey"- she kept talking, more to herself than to her friends.

- "You can stay with me too if you want"- Mikey said, and Gerard turned to him, scowling- "I mean, I’m gonna be home with our parents…"

- "That sounds so fucking weird, Michael James"- and Joey burst out laughing- "But though I love the idea of having a sleepover at your parents, Matthew is coming with me that weekend"- Gerard’s frown grew bigger.

- "Bug, tell me the truth"- Mikey said after a while. The radio was on, and the three of them had been basically just humming a few songs as they made their way to Joey’s house.

- "Shoot"

- "Matthew hates me, right?"

- "Why would you say that?"

- "‘Cos he looks like he hates me"

- "Of course not!"- the girl lied right away and snorted- "He is just shocked we got along so quickly."

- "Oh"- Mikey made a pause and chuckled- "So he really hates me."

- "No! I mean it!"

- "I think that’s a yes"- Gerard said to his brother and nodded.

- "Well… I guess I won’t be watching Criminal Minds anymore."

Matthew could hear Joey laughing from the hallway. She wasn’t alone. There were other voices and some music too. What the fuck was going on? He wasn’t thrilled at all ‘cos he had been calling his girlfriend the whole day and her phone was off. But this was too much for him to handle with a cold head. But he had to breathe and trust her.

- "Hey! What are you doing?"- he opened the door and glared at the Way brothers. Mikey was sitting behind Joey’s electric drum while she held a bass. Gerard was sitting on her couch, laughing. Well, not anymore, at least.

- "Akumu!! How was your day? Did you have fun meeting and greeting people?"- she quickly stood up, almost jumping and running to him, wrapping her arms around him.

- "It was ok…"- she kissed him sweetly and kept smiling- "What are you guys doing?"

- "I invited the guys for lunch, and we just stayed here playing for a while"- she simply answered.

- "I’ve been calling you the whole day, but you didn’t pick up"- Joey raised an eyebrow and looked into her boyfriend’s eyes.

- "Akumu, you’ve got my phone, remember?"- and Matthew Gray Gubler wanted to slap himself. The only thing he could do was be the nicest and sweetest, not jealous boyfriend he could be.

- "Shit!"- and Joey just nodded- "I’m so sorry!"

- "I know, so, wanna join us?"

- "Actually, I think we should go"- Gerard said and stood up- "I’ve got to pick up my wife from an event, “liar, liar pants on fire,” and Mikey has to drive me over"

Gee turned to his brother, and he nodded.

- "Yeah, and we better hurry ‘cos we are late"- he added and grabbed all his things- "I’m taking this"- he said and grabbed the bass he had left in her house- "You better practice."

- "Guys, you don’t have to run out just ‘cos I got here"- Matthew smiled- "We could hang out for a while."

- "I saved you some bandeja paisa"- Joey whispered, and her boyfriend’s smile grew bigger.

- "I love you so much."

- "Yeah, I know, I’m awesome"

- "Thank you, Matthew, but we really have to go"- Gerard shook his hand and smiled- "But Joey said you would come with us to the show in New York."

- "Yeah! I am! I feel like shit, I still can’t get to see my girl in action"- he smiled and wrapped an arm around Joey’s shoulders. She hated when he called her “his girl.” She wasn’t his, or anyone’s, as a matter of fact. That was one of the reasons why she hadn’t have a serious relationship before.

- "We’ll see you there then"- Gerard assured- "We’ll show you Jersey, Joey said she was dying to see where we hid all the mafia corpses"- and the girl chuckled

- "You keep trying to sell it for me, but dude, I’m sold!!"- Gerard laughed at Joey’s words and stared at her in silence for a few seconds until he realized Matthew was there. He didn’t want him to know or even suspect how he felt about his girlfriend.

- "Thank you for everything, guys"- the girl walked them to the door with a warm smile on her face- "You are the best!"

- "Nah"- Mikey hugged her and messed her hair pretty much at the same time- "You’ve been a great little sister. Thank you for coming along!"

- "See you when I come back from Seattle."

- "Yeah, we have to practice!"- the youngest Way shook Matthew’s hand and said goodbye. Gerard did the same, wished them a safe trip, and walked out of the apartment. He and his brother walked in silence until they reached the car.

- "Dude!"- Mikey finally said when he started the car- "That guy hates the shit out of me!"

- "He was going to kill us when he walked in! What the fuck is his problem?"

- "I don’t know!! He has to death jealous"

- "Well, so would I"- Gerard thought out loud and noticed he had to add something in case his brother would think the wrong thing, which would be actually the right thing.

- "I mean, if my girl hung out with four dudes, I barely know and travel the world with them, I would be jealous too."

- "Maybe"- Mikey gave it a little thinking and nodded- "Maybe when they are back, we could invite them out for diner or something, that way he can know us and figure out we don’t wanna bang his girlfriend."

- "Yeah, sure, that would be helpful"- Gerard Way was full of shit.

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[reinerispretty]

rotations. (zuko x f!reader) pt5

hi!! thank you so much for reading! again, i’m sorry for posting so much i just have a bunch of stuff pre-written and it’s fun to get it out there!

pt1

pt4

pt 6

“No one deserves to have their home destroyed, or have their family members ripped away from them! I saw what the Fire Nation did in my own city and countless others. The Fire Nation isn’t what I thought it was.” Her eyes welled with tears. “And neither are you.”

(Y/N) rested her chin on her hands as Appa flew over the land. It had been a few days since she had joined the Avatar and his friends, but already had she experienced way more than she ever would have in her life in the Fire Nation. Just the other day, they had saved an entire town from a volcano! She wasn’t a powerful enough bender to control lava, but she did help steer Appa so the sky bison could use his airbending to cool it down. She and the group decided that it was best if they saved her firebending for a rainy day. People in the towns that they were visiting weren’t too keen on having firebenders there.

From Appa, if she looked down, she could see dark spots across the green and yellow lands. Burned land. She had seen enough of it from her balcony of her mansion back in the Earth Kingdom. Her father had explained to her why their soldiers burned the peoples’ land. “Destroying what they need to survive keeps them in their place,” he had said. She remembered her stomach turning sour as soon as the words left his mouth. 

“For the longest time, I believed that what the Fire Nation was doing was good and necessary. I can’t believe I was so stupid.” 

“Yeah, people from the Fire Nation tend to be pretty dumb.” Sokka polished his boomerang. She turned around to glare at him. 

“You don’t get it. They don’t teach us in our schools that we’re burning down villages for the fun of it. They tell us that we’re only trying to help. They brainwash the kids into thinking that all we’re--all they are trying to do is make a better life for everyone.” 

“Just because you didn’t know what the Fire Nation was doing doesn’t excuse them for what they did,” Sokka shot back. She huffed, feeling her anger growing. 

“I never said that!” 

“Well you’re acting like it!” 

“I literally saved you from Fire Nation soldiers!” 

“Guys, can we please stop fighting?” Aang sighed. “It’s making Appa uncomfortable.” 

“Oh, well, we wouldn’t want Appa to be uncomfortable, now would we?” Sokka scoffed. She chucked her pillow at him. 

“You’re the rudest person I’ve ever met! The Fire Nation as a whole does not represent who I am!” Huffing, she turned away from Sokka and tilted her chin up to the sky. 

It was nightfall before anyone talked again. Sokka was fast asleep toward the back of Appa’s saddle. Katara had crawled over to (Y/N), who sat sulking as far away from him as possible. “I’m sorry for what Sokka said earlier,” She said, her blue eyes kind and soft. “We know the Fire Nation doesn’t define who you are as a person. It’s just really hard for Sokka and I to get comfortable with you being around. You see, Fire Nation soldiers raided our villages and killed our mother.” 

(Y/N) felt her anger slip away and be replaced with guilt. If she had known that, she wouldn’t have let herself become so quick to anger. Sokka was dealing with emotions that she couldn’t possibly understand. 

“I’m sorry for getting angry,” she said quietly. “I had no idea the Fire Nation had done that to you, truly. And if I could apologize on behalf of the entire nation, I would.” She sighed, pulling her legs close to her chest. “I’ve been around a lot of people who have done some very bad things, sometimes to the people I care about. I really cannot express how sorry I am, Katara.” 

The girl smiled, her blue eyes watery from holding back tears. “It’s okay. We’ll bring the Fire Nation to justice one day.” (Y/N) nodded in agreement. “Would you mind telling me how the Fire Nation has hurt you too? I think it might help me understand you a bit better.” 

She inhaled a deep breath. “Well, when I still lived on the Fire Nation mainland, there was a boy I really...liked. He was only fourteen, still just a kid, but he spoke up when he wasn’t supposed to. He was challenged to an Agni Kai, which is a traditional firebending duel. He went up against a person who was ten times stronger than him.” (Y/N) swallowed the sob in her throat that always formed when she thought of that day. “The whole point of the duel is that you win when you burn another opponent. He was burned very badly that day and was banished from the Fire Nation. I haven’t heard from him since.” 

“I’m really sorry,” Katara said, and (Y/N) shook her head. 

“Goodness, no, don’t even apologize. It’s nothing compared to what happened to you and Sokka. How about we get some sleep? I can’t imagine what tomorrow is gonna be like.” 

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The next day had proved to be very troublesome for (Y/N). Their group had divided, with Sokka and Katara choosing to follow Bato to their father since Aang had hidden his coordinates from them. She understood where the young boy had been coming from: when she had first joined the group, she had definitely felt like an outsider, but things had slowly gotten better. It was unfortunate that Sokka and Katara had left them, but (Y/N) knew it was now her duty to get him to the Northern Water Tribe so he could continue his waterbending training. 

This plan went south as soon as the bounty hunter arrived. The beast she rode kicked up so much dust that it became hard for (Y/N) to see. She had lost sight of Aang and she knew he was in trouble, but the last thing she wanted was to blindly shoot fire and risk hurting someone. So instead, she stumbled through the dust until she could see properly. 

“Look out!” Was all she heard Sokka shout before he knocked her to the ground. She groaned as she fell, opening her eyes to see Sokka’s blue ones staring down at her. 

“What’d you do that for?” She grumbled, shoving him off of her.

“I saved you from a fire blast! A thank you would’ve been nice!” 

“I’m a firebender! I can handle a fire blast, you can’t!” She jumped to her feet, ready to defend her friends from the source of the blasts. 

What she expected to see through the dust was a bounty hunter or a Fire Nation soldier. Who she had not expected to see, however, was Prince Zuko. She felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her body. Seeing her old friend brought a flood of feelings back to her, but she tried her best to suppress them. She wanted to run into his arms and squeeze him into a hug. But then she pieced it all together. It was Zuko who had been hunting Aang. He was the one who raided Katara and Sokka’s village. A lot had changed since the two of them had last seen each other, that was obvious. 

It took Zuko a few seconds to recognize her. She was still in her Earth Kingdom clothes, as the disguise helped her travel between cities without being recognized. But he would recognize her (color) eyes anywhere. He stopped in his tracks; his arms lifted for another attack. 

“(Y/N)?” He asked. He glanced between her and the Avatar. 

In her fifteen years of life, not once had she firebended against Zuko. But she had a duty to her new friends and to the rest of the world. She ran at him, flipped forward, and kicked fire into his face. Zuko’s arms cut through her fire. He grunted angrily. 

“What are you doing?” He demanded. She didn’t answer. She shot fire at him again, but he dodged. 

“I won’t let you hurt him!” 

“Traitor!” Zuko roared, firing blasts back at her. She avoided them easily. She had always been praised for being light on her feet. Taking gymnastics with Ty Lee had allowed her to dance in between the flames. Zuko had only gotten better over the years. This would be a tough battle to beat. She kicked him in the stomach, knocking him off of his balance for a few moments. 

“You guys get out of here!” She shouted to her friends. “I’ll hold him off!” 

“We’re not leaving without you!” Katara shouted back. Zuko shot fire that missed her face by inches. 

“Go!” She shouted to them. She shot fire blasts from her firsts, driving Zuko away from her. She heard Appa fly away and in her heart, she hoped they would come back for her. She realized a moment too late that the bounty hunter’s beast had reached its tongue toward her. Paralyzed, she fell to the ground, knocking herself unconscious from the fall. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She sat in the hold of the Fire Nation ship with her hands cuffed behind her back, preventing her from bending her way out. She had woken up in that dark room, with the only light being from the torches on the outside of the cell. It amused her a bit that she had been captured by the nation she once called home, but really, she had spent most of her time wondering when her friends would come for her. It would be incredibly dangerous for them to infiltrate a Fire Nation ship, especially Aang. He was the prize that Zuko wanted, after all. 

Speaking of Zuko, he had been sitting in front of the bars of her cell since she had woken up. They both had been silent. She wanted to speak to him, but she wasn’t sure what to say. It was obvious the Agni Kai had changed him for the worse. He had been absolutely ruthless when they were fighting in the village. It had taken everything in her to fight him off, but it obviously hadn’t been enough. 

The heavy metal door swung open and she looked up to see Iroh, Zuko’s uncle. She had always liked Iroh. He told her funny stories whenever he visited the royal palace. He had played Pai Sho with her on more than a few occasions. He was a kind man, who didn’t really fit in with his family at all. She sat up immediately, a bright smile on her face. 

“Iroh!” She said cheerfully. “It’s wonderful to see you.” 

“Zuko,” Iroh scolded. “What is our dear friend doing in a cell?” Zuko glared at her. 

“She’s with the Avatar now. She’s a traitor.” 

“Traitor is a harsh word, in my opinion,” She replied. “I think I like the word rebel more.” 

“Don’t get cheeky with me!” Zuko snapped. 

“Is this true, (Y/N)?” Iroh asked. She looked away from him and refused to answer. 

“Where did the Avatar go?” Zuko demanded. She scoffed. 

“As if I’d tell you.” 

“As your prince, I demand you to answer me!” 

“So, am I a traitor, or are you still my prince? My head is killing me, Zuko, I can’t really keep up right now.” Humor was how she was choosing to deal with the pain of seeing the disappointment in Zuko’s eyes. She knew she was doing it for the right reasons, but she had let him down. 

“You’re just as insufferable as you were when I left.” She felt the anger inside of her boiling. 

“I’m insufferable? Says the boy who is still serving a country that banished him.” 

“That’s why I need the Avatar, (Y/N)! So I can finally go home and restore my honor!” 

“We both know it’s not going to be good enough for him, Zuko.” 

He turned toward his uncle. “Leave us.” Silently, Iroh left, but not before flashing her a sad smile. “I can’t believe I thought that I would ask for your hand in marriage once I returned home.” 

She scoffed. “Were you planning on filling me in of that plan in one of the letters you wrote to me?” 

“Letters? I never--” 

“Exactly. Even if I had stayed with the Fire Nation, I wouldn’t have agreed to your proposal. You might’ve been banished, Zuko, but it’s not hard to send a messenger hawk.” 

“Is that why you became a traitor? Because I didn’t write to you?” 

“Zuko, I promise that not everything is about you. Have you seen what the Fire Nation is doing to people? To innocent people?” 

“It’s what they deserve!” 

“No one deserves to have their home destroyed, or have their family members ripped away from them! I saw what the Fire Nation did in my own city and countless others. The Fire Nation isn’t what I thought it was.” Her eyes welled with tears. “And neither are you.” 

Zuko stormed out after she said that. (Y/N) lay back down on the ground and cried quietly as she mourned over the friend she once knew. The old Zuko was long gone. 

---

Tag List!

@mdgrdians , @soft4kei , @bubblebars , @pleasantfankingdom , @vintageroses1014516 , @celamoon , @fangirlanotherjust , @gliderbudgie 

Thanks so much for reading!! read part 6!!

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Closer (Alec Volturi x Reader)

"Alec?" You called quickly before he could leave. Alec turned, slightly surprised by you delaying him. "Yes?" "Are you busy today? Right now even?" You asked. Alec's surprise was much more visible. You had been opening up to him a lot more as of lately and Alec cherished it. Being mates was new to the both of you. You, seeing as you were human, and Alec because he was used to being alone for centuries -the outcast with his sister. For someone else to invest time in him was still very new even after a month of you being here. "No." He said, brushing off the nagging thought that he should say more than that. "Are you away to spend time with your sister?" His brow creased slightly. "No...she has duties to attend to today." "Oh..." You nodded, a thought seemed to distract you momentarily. Alec noticed it, the way your expression changed slightly, your eyes moving from his own as you paused. "Do you need us for something?" Alec tilted his head, your lack of explanation only making him more eager to make sure you were alright. "Oh! No!" You cracked a smile. "I'm fine, I just...I want to ask you something but I don't know if you'd be comfortable or not." You said almost sheepishly. Alec's relief was short lived. "If you ask me, you can find out." 

It wasn't often you had a question for him and clearly this was a bigger one if you weren't sure if he'd answer. What made it more intriguing is the possibility that it would make him uncomfortable meaning it could be very personal. "Well...I was just wondering if you wanted to stay for a while? I feel like I haven't seen you as much these past few days." You explained. "Have you been alone during that time? I made sure to tell Demetri and Felix to keep you company." Alec frowned, annoyed that you had been left alone. "Oh it's not that! They did keep me company but...they aren't you." You paused at the last part of the sentence and Alec's face went blank. There was silence, Alec genuinely taken aback by your request. He'd never gotten such a request before. "You don't have to if you don't want to!" You said hurriedly. "I don't want you to force yourself into doing something you don't want to." "I'm surprised by the request but I'm not opposed to it. I'd like to spend some more time with you." Alec responded. "Really?" Alec nodded slowly. "Yes." 

The two of you noted that your encounters often started like this, despite being mates. You held back and he wasn't accustomed to any kind of romantic relationships. You had changed his whole world instantly. However the tension always shifted and neither of you ever noticed when it did. Although neither of you were complaining. 

With a grin, you patted the space beside you on your bed and he complied after searching your eyes for approval. Eventually you had moved to lay on your stomach as Alec lay on his back beside you. "I heard there is supposed to be a storm tonight." You smiled. "You did?" Alec responded. You nodded. "Yeah. It's been on the radio apparently. It was the receptionist that told me." "Ah, I haven't been on that side of the castle today so that'll be why I haven't heard until now." Alec said. "Were you on guard duties this morning?" Alec nodded in response. "I was on duty when you went to bed last night." Alec cracked a smile. "Are you on duty tonight?" You asked, shifting closer to him, attempting to meet his gaze. "No. Not until noon tomorrow. Both Jane and I will be on duty then." Alec suddenly smirked. "Why? Are you scared of the storm?" "No! You smiled. "Although I could say yes just to see you fight the wind." Alec smiled wider shaking his head at you. "Wouldn't be the first time." "What do you mean? Did you send a rogue uppercut to a gust of wind one time?" You raised an eyebrow. "No!" Alec chuckled. "I meant that I had to comfort my sister in storms back when we were human. Although they were much more frightening since our homes weren't as stable as now.” "Jane was afraid of storms? I can't imagine Jane being afraid of anything." You said. "Jane doesn't feel fear the same way as you would, neither do I. What can you fear when the worst thing has already happened?" Alec responded. "Do you see that as a weakness in me? It must change you're viewpoint on fear, especially after all this time." "No." Alec said quietly, looking into your eyes. "I actually want to protect that about you. I never want you to endure something that changes you like that. It's not a good thing and...I'd hate if you turned out like me." "Which is what? Smart?" You cracked a smile and you couldn't help but smirk with a light roll of his eyes. "Cold." He said. He absent-mindedly ran a finger across your face. "Distant. I couldn't bare it, if something happened to you and it changed you in such a way."  You caught his falling hand, cradling it in both of yours. "Can you tell me about what it was like back then?" "I can't give you an unbiased interpretation of it. I don't remember much of it and they aren't fond memories." Alec warned. "I'd like to hear it from you. Your story of what it was like to live back then." "Are you certain? It was very different from how it is now." He continued to press. "It's a part of your life, that makes it important to me." Alec was taken aback but complied, noting his hand locked within both of yours in a tight but comforting grip. 

Alec hummed lightly. "Well life expectancy wasn't as high as it is today. We did well if we lived to our thirties. So naturally we were married off and having children at around thirteen or fourteen years old." "Were you ever married? Did you have kids? What about Jane?" Alec shifted. "No. I was never married." "Why?" "People were afraid of us so no one wanted anything to do with us. So it was strange in those times to be my age and not have a family to work for. The same went for Jane. She didn't have any children and wasn't married because people were too afraid of us." "That must have been awful, just another thing to add to your torment being in that village." "Yes," Alec agreed. "a part of me was always relieved though. You’re taught to accept such normalities back then of marrying at around thirteen and having children and working for the rest of your days. However when times began to change, I couldn't help but be relieved that I wasn't married to someone I didn't choose and was forced to love. My mother and father were lucky that way. They fell in love and it was lucky since they were to be wed. Not everyone got that same treatment though. There were many in our village who were married but had no love for their spouse. I'd hate to live like that." "What about after that? You said about times changing. Did you ever meet someone after your change?" You asked. Alec chuckled. "Sweet-face, might I remind you that I am one of the most feared vampires in the world? What makes you think I'd have a friend never mind a lover?" "Wait so... you're like a thousand years old and there hadn't even been a first kiss?" You gawked and he shook his head nonchalantly. "You're kidding. You've never kissed someone?" Alec inhaled about to speak but you butted in before you could. "You know what kind of kissing I mean." You nudged him. "No." He said finally slightly defeated that he couldn't tease you. "I'm not accustomed to affection. Besides," Alec smirked. "no kissing before marriage." You gave him a dumbfounded expression. "Have you ever wanted to kiss anyone?" "You're very interested in this topic aren't you?" Alec smirked. "Yes, because it's so alarming to me that no one has kissed you after all this time!" You pressed. "Alright then, when was your first kiss?" He retorted. "I was like...fifteen...I think? It was with a guy in school and it was terrible!" Alec couldn't help but laugh. "I was put off for a very long time. He had ate chocolate before hand and there was a lot of tongue, it was just...it was a lot and I wish it never happened." Alec continued to laugh. "So really you wish you were in my position." "Well no because you've been around so much longer than me. I just don't get how no one has kissed you, like out of everything that could happen in so many centuries and no one?" "I'm going to remind you again that everyone fears me. Even you to an extent." Alec raised an eyebrow. You immediately felt guilty because you still felt some fear around him. "That being said, I know you don't fear me as much as you did when we first met and I'm glad. You're the closest that anyone has ever gotten to me except my sister." "Does it bother you?" You asked gently. "That sometimes I still get afraid?" "It doesn't annoy me if that's what you're referring to. I understand why you would be. Sometimes it makes me sad because I know I would never harm you. That's what makes you different from the others." Alec finished. "Have you ever wanted a friend since your change?" You asked quietly. "No. You were my first friend." "Do you get lonely?" "I can't say for sure, if I do- I'm used to it. As I said, I'm not used to affection." "I just can't believe someone as remarkable as you hasn't been shown affection even in all these years." You said and Alec immediately noticed the sadness in your tone of voice. "Have you ever wanted to kiss someone?" You asked. Alec turned his head to look at you completely. "I think you might already know the answer to that." He said quietly. Although he gave you a pointed look and immediately you caught on. 

You pushed yourself up ever so slightly. "Have you fed? Are you thirsty?" "No, I'm not thirsty...why?" "Just checking in case you bite my face off." You responded. "What?" Alec's brow furrowed in confusion. "Alec, do you trust me?" You asked quickly. "Yes but...I don't know what you're doing." "I want to kiss you." Alec was shocked. "Although I'm only going to, if you actually want me to and tell me that's what you want. If you rather it wasn't me then just tell me. There is no wrong in that." Alec was speechless for the first time in years. Had he gone mad? Was he hallucinating? Was this actually happening? 

"It's all up to you." You said softly. Alec couldn't find any words to speak but slowly he began to nod. "Are you sure?" You asked "...yes." Alec said barely above a whisper. "You definitely want your first kiss to be with me?" You pressed, not wanting to make any assumptions and force Alec into anything he wasn’t ready for. "Yes." He said again, nodding. You nodded shifting closer. "I won't lie, I'm a little nervous." You said quietly. "Why?" Alec asked just as quiet as you were. "I really want to make this a good experience for you. I hope I'm enough to do that." Alec exhaled, his expression unreadable. "You can stop me at any time, okay? The moment you change your mind. You let me know." Alec nodded again but was very sure he wouldn't change his mind. Not that you seemed to know that. "Close your eyes. Trust me when I say it's better when you do. It's much more natural that way." "What do I do?" Alec asked. "You don't need to do anything." "No, I mean, do I just lie here? Do I put my hands somewhere? What do I do?" You giggled quietly, hovering over him ever so slightly. "You can put them where ever you like. I'll let you know if anything is off limits." Alec huffed. "I'll have you know I was thinking about your waist, not anywhere indecent. I have manners, (Y/N)." You grinned at him. "I know, I'm just teasing." You moved again hovering over him. "Close your eyes." You whispered and after a moment, Alec's eyes fluttered shut. You exhaled, butterflies in your stomach. You had never initiated a first kiss before and you really hoped it would be a positive memory for him. He deserved that and much more.  Slowly, you leaned down, pausing for a brief moment to make sure Alec was still comfortable. He seemed to be since he waited and didn't stop you. You tilted your head slightly, gently placing your lips on his cold ones. Alec inhaled, he couldn't help himself, your scent flooded his nostrils and consumed him. Your lips were warm and soft and felt very pleasant against his. He couldn't describe the feeling that washed over him. Being kissed was pleasant but knowing it was you kissing him brought it to a whole other level. He couldn't get enough.  Suddenly you felt cold fingertips on your waist but barely touching. Alec seemed uncertain but after another sharp inhale, he seemed to had decided almost immediately. His hands slowly gripped your waist and moved you ever so slightly closer to him. This lasted for another few seconds before you needed to breathe and broke the kiss. 

A quiet gasp escaped Alec as his eyes snapped open, a look of hurt flashing across his face before remembering that you still had to breathe. His burgundy eyes stared into yours and you once again had no idea as to what he was thinking. He didn't throw you off of him so perhaps that was a good sign? You were suddenly aware that his hands weren't on your waist, one instead travelling to your face, cupping your cheek. The other, no doubt, back by his side. His touch, whilst cold in temperature was gentle, running his thumb across your cheekbone and completely captivated as your caught your breath. You leaned into his touch slightly, so much so that it was possible that only he noticed. "Was that okay for a first kiss?" You asked quietly. "I'm sorry if it wasn't-" "It was perfect." Alec said immediately, it came out as a whimper as though your words evoked the fear he'd never get another again. "It was?" You whispered. "Even though...I'm just human?" Alec didn't seem to hear you, his eyes searching yours. "Can you do it again?" You cracked a smile. "Alec, you don't have to ask me. You can have one any time you want." Alec held your shoulders this time as you leaned down again, his grip keeping you there as you pressed your lips to his again. Alec exhaled again but this one was more relaxed, almost sounding like a happy sigh. You broke the kiss to smile at him. "I'm getting the feeling you like kisses." "No, I like your kisses." Alec breathed. You smiled softly at him, kissing his lips again before sitting up. 

You sighed. "Looks like I have a lot of time to make up for." "What do you mean?" Alec asked. "Well you haven't been given affection before now yet you deserve it. So naturally I have to catch you up." Alec didn't get the chance to respond before you pounced, climbing on top of him and planting kisses erratically all over his face. "(Y/N!)" Alec couldn't stop the chuckles that escaped him. "What?" You pulled back. "Oh wait- I missed a spot. Hang on." You went back to peppering kisses all over his face. Every time Alec moved his face, you gripped his jaw and kissed every bit of available skin. "Alright! I get it!" Alec finally said. "You've made your point!" You giggled planting one last kiss before climbing off of him. "So if we do this a million times a day for the rest of eternity, we should be caught up. Then of course there's the love that was missed during the time we were catching up." Alec sighed but couldn't help but grin regardless. "We could try, I suppose." Alec smirked. 

Even in the next day, Alec was still awestruck by the kiss. It was always on the back of his mind. His twin noticed almost immediately and Alec had to tell her. If there was anyone he wanted to tell, it was Jane who was surprised that she must have heard it but completely ignored it. 

Jane was protective of Alec and of course wasn't exactly welcoming to you but she couldn't bring herself to utter even a bad word about you. You had made Alec so happy and she couldn't fault that. Suddenly you weren't just a human anymore. 

Marcus was next to comment, telling Alec his bond with you had strengthened significantly. Naturally he told his master about the kiss. Marcus drawled something about it being the moment being wonderful. Even then it wasn't enough, he still thought about it. 

However he almost got lost in the memory now that he was alone in his room. His fingertips brushing his bottom lip, reminding him of the sensation of the kiss you gave him. The emotions were addictive. A smile grew on his face. He couldn't help himself. Especially since it has become something he couldn't forget.

[murderousginger]

Pretty but Naive

Part 2 of Cops and Robbers

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Some steamy kisses. They're criminals guys, they do bad things.

Word count: 5.4k

Note: This took quite a turn from it's original idea. I hurt my own feelings writing a part, just know that. Take a deep breath and enjoy the ride, darlings!

Tagging: @imagine-that-100 @blinder-secrets​ @rae-you-gotta-be-kidding-me​

Working at The Garrison was so much easier than Sabini's club. After the night that John drove you home to Birmingham, you had started work the next afternoon and quickly picked up the routine. 

No more skimpy or overly shiny dresses. A plain cotton one did the trick and breathed better as you ran around to tables and across the bar to refill drinks. You were back home, so almost everyone knew who you were and why you were there so there were almost no issues with wandering hands or vile words. An occasional drunkard misstepped, but it was nowhere near as bad as London. You were generally happier and making the same amount of money as before.

Harry was a good boss and not long after you were taken on, Arthur bought The Garrison. The boys did their business there anyway so it was only smart they own it. Nothing much changed afterwards. Harry still ran things and you were a hard worker as well as a friend of the Shelby's so you were well cared for.

Except for once. 

On a very busy night, you went to pass around a round of beers to a group of younger Peaky Blinders boys; Finn and Isaiah leading the group.

"Oy, Finn, be a sweetheart and pass this to Isaiah," you said as you handed two beers to the youngest Shelby. He and Isaiah had chosen the seats with their backs to the wall, their friends surrounding them in the other chairs. 

"Yes'm," Finn said as he passed the second beer to Isaiah. "Any way I could get a nip of whiskey?"

Finn eyed you curiously as you stopped handing out beers on the tray and stood up, wiping your hands on the apron around your dress.

"How old are you now, Finny?" You said. "Fourteen, fifteen?"

"There's abouts," he replied, puffing out his chest. "I run things around for Tommy and even play lookout sometimes. I'm grown."

"Hmm," you considered. "I think Tommy'd still prefers you off the heavy until you're at least 17-18 like 'saiah over here, eh?" 

You started leaning back over and passing out the drinks as the group started to laugh and Finn turned red around the ears. He sipped his beer in defeat. You were almost finished passing out drinks when you felt a teenage hand slap your ass and squeeze.

"What is she, Finn, to be calling you Finny and denying you whiskey?" The boy asked. "Is she your old wet nurse?"

The other Blinders teens laughed along with him except for Finn and Isaiah. Both had wide eyes as you slowly stood up to look down upon the teen with a scowl and a cocked eyebrow.

"I did nanny Finny while he was younger," you said evenly. "I've also run more errands for Pol and the boys than you could imagine while you were still playing in the dirt."

You eyed the boy sternly as you felt the heat rise in your gut and your anger increase.

"If I asked, you'd be dead by morning," you said, teeth bared. "But I won't ask, I'll just cut you m'self. So kindly put your hands on your beer and off my arse."

The teen's eyes were wide as his hand dropped from you and went to his drink. His eyes cast down as he let out the smallest "yes ma'am" you had ever heard. 

You nodded, looking up at the rest of the table. 

"Now," you said, expelling your breath and putting a real smile back on, "can I get you boys anything else?" 

A quiet round of "No ma'am" and "No (Y/N)" echoed around the table. 

"Good boys," you said as you picked up your tray and walked away.

The table erupted with laughter behind you as you left. You heard Isaiah and Finn immediately begin to tease the boy and you smiled your way back to behind the bar.

"Always had a way with the boys, didn't you, (Y/N)?" Tommy teased as he slipped out of the private room and sat at the bar. 

"Never had a problem with the ones that weren't easily afraid," you retorted with a wink. "Who wants to keep the yellow ones around, anyhow?"

Tommy chuckled.

----

On slow days, you had time to sit in the private room with the boys and shoot the breeze. On a particularly slow day, Tommy had the others running errands for him and he had decided to sit at the empty bar and talk to you.

"(Y/N)," Tommy asked as he eyed you before taking a drink of his whiskey. "Why aren't you married by now? Surely you've been courted by someone."

You leaned on the counter, leaning in as if to tell a secret. 

"Once," you replied. "Remember Timmy McKee?"

"The git we beat for pushing you down when we was kids?" He asked incredulously. "He had the balls to try to marry you?"

You nodded solemnly. 

"Tried," you whispered. "He was talking to Da about it and started coming around after you lot were shipped out."

He leaned in, curiosity written all over his face.

"I told him if he valued any appendages he'd walk out and not look back," you said solemnly. "Mum turned blue from anger. Dad was stone faced. McKee all but ran out of the house. Ended up marrying Sue. Sweet girl. Pretty sure he beats her."

You shrugged and stood up, going to clean a few of the dirty glasses pilling up by the sink. 

Tommy chuckled, leaning back in his seat and spread his hands across the bar in front of him. 

"What did your dad do after McKee ran?" Tommy asked.

"He started laughing," you said with a grin. "Mum sent us both to bed without dinner."

----

Time sort of blended together after working at The Garrison for a while. It was all pretty much the same. Some nights were slow. Some were packed with people. Sometimes the Shelby's had you working the private room while they conducted business. 

On days off you were closer to your Mum and would visit. She was angry you worked for the Shelby's but seemed happier you were closer to home. When she drove you too crazy you ran off to visit Polly or Ada.

The days bled together, but you didn't care because you felt a part of the Shelby's again. They were family and you felt loved. 

Your favorite part was being able to goof off with your boys, but you had never forgotten the night that John had driven you home. 

On yet another night of working at The Garrison, you were walking back to the bar after dispensing more drinks when warm hands grabbed your middle and spun you into a chest. 

"Did I ever tell you how nice you look in that color?" John said as he deflected your tray from hitting him and took it out of your hands and placed it onto the bar counter. 

His cheeky grin was contagious when he bit down on the pick in his mouth.

"Only every time I wear it, John boy," you said, relaxing into his arms and patting his chest. "What do I owe this honor?"

"Well," he said, faking seriousness, "I've noticed our young Finn has gone from clutching your skirts to wanting in them -- and as one of his big brothers -- I'm here to tease him by teasing you."

"Oh now," you said, your pat turning into a smack, "he's just a babe. The wind blows wrong and he's as stiff as a flagpole. You should know, you've never grown out of it." 

"Maybe," he murmured, ignoring the jab, "but maybe I just like a chance at holding you close, (Y/N)."

Your eyes jerked up to meet his before you giggled nervously.

"Be careful where you aim that charm, John," you warned before you hesitantly stepped out of his arms to return to behind the bar. 

"Right," John said before sitting in an empty seat at the bar. "How about two whiskeys then."

"I can take them to you in the private room if you like?" You asked before turning your back on him to reach the whiskey on the top shelf he liked best.

"That may be a problem, unless Harry plans on covering for you, (Y/N)," John said playfully before raising his voice. "Harry, can I nip (Y/N) off your hands for a bit?"

"Aye," Harry said, not looking up from cleaning off a table. "But have 'er come back out during the rush in a few hours." 

"I can do that, Harry. I'm still right here," you said loudly as you sat back on your heels with the whiskey in your hand. When you turned, you saw John staring at you with a smirk. He rolled the pick across his lips with his tongue as he made eye contact with you. Your breath caught for a moment.

"Well you didn't bloody well ask me, now did you?" Harry chirped back. "You had John do it. So he got your answer."

Harry's retort snapped you out of it and you rolled your eyes at the cranky old man. You picked up two glasses with the hand that wasn't holding whiskey and followed John into the private room the Shelby's used for business.

"Slide in," John said as he went to sit with his back to the wall. 

"A lady doesn't slide," you said, placing the whiskey and glasses on the table and moving them toward the back where John sit 

"Good thing you aren't a lady then, huh (Y/N)," John teased, taking the pick out of his mouth and setting it on the table. 

You huffed a little as you sat down and moved to sit next to John. He was already filling the glasses with a double neat. 

"To bringin' old friends back into the fold," he said as he raised his glass and motioned you to take yours. 

"I've been here a while now," you said, clinking his glass before you both shoot back the drink. 

As you open your eyes and look back at John you catch him staring again. 

"Yeah well," he said, clearing his throat, "might've missed you more than I realized. You're a sight for sore eyes, you are."

"Aww," you cooed teasingly. "Is my John boy getting soft?"

You bumped his shoulder playfully before filling the glasses again. 

"To friends that feel like family," you said, raising your glass.

John hummed noncommittally. 

"Never much thought of kissing my sister," John said with a wink as he clinked your glass. You both quickly finished that round, too. You both put your glasses on the table with a thud.

"Never had the guts to kiss me anyway," you said offhandedly. "You chose not to, remember?"

John grabbed your chin so fast your head spun. His thumb and index finger dug into your skin as he pulled your face closer to his. When your lips were barely grazing his, his fingers dropped from your chin and his hand firmly rested upon your throat. He didn't choke you, but firmly held you in place. Your heart thudded against your rib cage. 

"I could choose to," he said gruffly. 

His blue eyes met yours before looking down at your lips. His tongue wetted his lips and ghosted over your own. You couldn't breathe.

"You could," you finally squeaked out. 

"Do you want me to?" John asked. 

"Yes," you whispered. 

You had expected John's lips to collide with yours, but instead he pulled you closer by your throat and ever-so-softly kissed you. He left you hungry. 

When he let go of your neck and pulled away, you pushed against him in the booth, needing the space to not exist between you. You pressed your lips back on his and could feel his smile as you slid your hands under his coat. 

He licked your bottom lip and you opened your mouth to his silent request, deepening the kiss. His hands pressed into your sides and set your skin on fire. 

As you both continued kissing, one of your hands found his face again and his hands started to wander to your skirts. John softly kissed your jawline and down your neck as he pulled you under him in the booth. His hand found warm skin near your knee and he groaned into your neck as his rough fingers pressed upwards into your soft thigh. 

"John," you half moaned, half said apprehensively. 

You pushed his face up to yours as his hands froze in place and his face pressed against your hand to kiss you again before meeting your gaze. 

"(Y/N)," John murmured back, his pupils blown out and a lazy smile appearing on his lips.

"Slow down," you said quietly. 

Recognition lifted the haze in his eyes and he gave your thigh one last squeeze before he slowly moved his hand down and out of your skirts and used his hand around your waist to upright you beside him. 

He looked at you like you were a spooked mare. He set a soft kiss on your forehead before releasing you from his grip. He cleared his throat, scratching his head as his ears turned pink. 

"Right so," he said. "Another drink?"

You did have another. And another. And when you finished your shift, John was waiting for you with a bottle in hand for many more. You walked through town in the dead of night, drinking and talking -- and occasionally kissing.

You stumbled into your flat at dawn the next morning, knowing full well you were going to nurse a hangover and be miserable before work. But you were absolutely elated.

And when you finished your shift the next night, John was there. 

And the night after. 

And after that. 

John didn't push during kissing after the first night. He waited for you to lead. He started learning your tells as the nights went on and would kiss you or touch you so softly that it would drive you to kiss him harder. You would push against him more until you could feel that cocky grin of his against your lips. And you both would laugh and go back to what you were doing. 

Some nights you wandered town. Others you dipped in the pond. You would sit on the steps of your flat and talk. Most nights were filled with conversations. You talked about each other's days, of business, of family, of dreams or ideas or anything that came to mind.

You were exhausted at work but in such a happy mood that no one commented on the bags under your eyes.

After too many nights out with John to count, there was a slow night at The Garrison that had you itching to be home.

Harry and you both started doing inventory on the liquors to order, as there were not but a handful of patrons in the place. None of the Shelby's had been in most of the day. Business, you were sure. Bloody business. 

Tommy walked in close to midnight, looking stiff. He waved you to him and nodded toward the private room. You nodded and grabbed his favorite whiskey and a glass.

"Long day, Tommy?" You said happily. "Not long till close."

"Very long," he replied shortly, reaching into his breast pocket for a cigarette and lighting it. 

He eyed you for a moment before patting the bench beside him. You sat down and put the whiskey and glass on the table in front of you.

"You've been staying out late every night with John," Tommy said, taking a long pull from his cigarette. 

"I have," you said smiling as you poured him a glass.

"(Y/N), you know he has children," Tommy said kindly. 

"Yuh," you said. "Three, from Martha, his late wife. John's told me."

"Four," Tommy said. "He has four children. A newborn. With his wife."

"Wife?" You said, frozen to the spot. 

"Esme," Tommy said, lightly resting his hand on your shoulder. "A Lee girl. He went to marry Lizzie a year or more back, said he needed a wife. It was my doing. We needed a truce. He needed a wife. He fought me at first, but he seems to like her."

"I see," you said softly, holding your breath. 

"John boy didn't mention that part, did he?" Tommy replied just as soft. 

"No," you flinched at his name. You could feel your lungs lose all their air as your world crumpled around the edges. 

Tommy nodded, more to himself than you, and his eyes were far away. He set his jaw.

"She's missing him, in the nights," Tommy grinded out, rubbing your back softly. "Starting to get worried. Upset. Gypsy women are hard enough to keep in one place. Home with a newborn and three kids. Best to keep her happy. For the truce."

"For the truce," you recited, voice cracking. "Nothing comes in the way of money or family."

Tommy touched your shoulder, and when you didn't turn he grabbed your chin and pushed your head up to look at him.

"Unless it is money or family," he said softly. 

"Hey," he said in a low voice as your eyes locked with his. "Look at me. You're all right, love. You didn't know. You didn't know."

You crashed into his arms, burying your head into his shoulder before your tears could fall. Your breath hitched and Tommy wrapped his arms around you, forgetting about his cigarette dropped into his drink. He petted your hair, soothing you with soft sounds like he did the horses. It only made you hold on tighter.

"Take a couple days off," Tommy said finally, putting your face into his hands. "Go see Polly. Drink some tea. Get your head straight, yeah?"

"Yes, Tommy," you sniffled, nodding into his hands like a child. Tears streaked your face. He wiped one away with his thumb. His eyes softened.

"Atta girl," Tommy said quietly, kissing the top of your head as he pulled you back to his chest. "Stay outta sight for a few nights until you get your head straight. Then come back."

"Tommy," you said, voice so small.

"Yes (Y/N)," Tommy said.

"It was silly of me to ever think I'd really be a Shelby girl, wasn't it?"

Tommy sighed and lightly squeezed you closer to his chest. 

"No, sweetheart," he whispered into your hair as you started sobbing again. "You've always been a Blinders girl. You just can't be his Shelby girl."

When you walked home that night, it was alone. Your chest was tight with anticipation. You only relaxed once you closed your door and locked it behind you. You slid down the door in a puddle and cried again, arms wrapped around your knees.

---- 

Tea with Polly was pretty much what you expected it to be. You waited until the house was empty from the boys running work or errands and then slipped in the back door. 

Your face was still red and puffy from crying, and you froze as you ran into Finn in the doorway. Finn jolted to catch his biscuit before looking up at you and immediately changing his scowl into concern.

"(Y/N), what --" he started.

"Not now, Finny," you said softly. 

"But what --" he tried again. 

"Leave the girl alone and run your errands, Finn," Polly's harsh voice echoed across the kitchen. "Go on."

Polly leaned in the doorway of the kitchen opposite of the two she was cooly eyeing. You shrunk under her critical gaze as if you were already being scolded. Finn huffed and slipped past you to go outside. 

"Not now, Finn," he mocked, stomping away. "Go on, Finn. Bloody adults."

"Water's on the stove," Polly said. "Grab two teas and bring them in to sit."

"Yes ma'am," you said quietly as you set out to do what she tasked you with. In a few moments you had two hot teas placed on the table and sat opposite the chair Polly sat in watching you.

"So," she trailed. "What's wrong with my (Y/N)? Did the boys leave you out again?"

You flinched at the tease. Polly sighed. 

"What'd they do?" She asked in a more gentle tone.

You told her about John and the conversation you had with Tommy. Her face grew more and more grim as the story went on.

"So you were the tarte keeping John from coming home," Polly said, leaving back in her chair. She saw your face fall and she waved you off. "Oh, you aren't a tarte but you were the tarte, girl. All those conversations that were whispered while we couldn't find out what he was up to. Where he was sneaking about."

"I think I love him, Pol," you whispered as you ran your hands through your hair. "Nothing else could hurt this much, could it? He lied to me."

"Don't think with your heart when a man is thinking with his dick," she scowled, taking a long drag from her cigarette and pointed at you. "Even if it's one of my nephews -- especially if it's one of my nephews."

"How was I supposed to know he was thinking with his dick?" You asked crossly, putting your head in your hands. Polly laughed.

"All men think with their dick," she said. "And Shelby's are especially known to ruin many a good thing because of it."

"I won't be his tarte, Pol," you said. 

"I never expected you to be," Polly said, taking a sip of her tea. "I expected you to be smarter. Go be about your business and make him realize his mistakes."

----

You didn't visit your mum, knowing full well that she would only chide you for the indiscretion. You weren't strong enough to pretend, so instead you went shopping. You got your usual groceries, and when you noticed a pretty blue cotton dress in a window, you bought it. You had to. It was Shelby's eye blue.

You stayed home the next day and just read. You soaked in the tub until the water was frigid. You started to fidget when the time came that you usually left for work, but you stayed in. One more night. Two nights at home, and you'll be strong enough to go back into work. You had to be strong.

The next day you woke up and lounged. You took your time primping yourself, putting your makeup on slowly, teasing your hair up into something more intricate than a ponytail, fitting into your new blue dress. With each layer you put more mental walls up, preparing for your night at work. You even wore a pair of higher heels than you usually did. 

When the time came you clacked down the cobblestone to The Garrison, not entirely sure of what your night would end up like but entirely ready for anything. 

You reached the steps of The Garrison and took one last big breath and exhaled before you walked in. 

"Harry, I'm back," you called, walking toward the bar and grabbing your apron to put on. 

"Thank fuck for that, little bird, because we're busy tonight," he called as he emptied his tray with a round of beers to a table. "Grab a tray and I'll see to behind the bar."

"Aye," you called back, already filling a few drinks at the bar and taking their money before doing as he asked. 

The night was definitely fast. You spun yourself around the bar, filling drinks and laughing with a few of the regulars along the way. 

Arthur popped in around eleven and waved you over, smile on his face. 

"Well would you look at (Y/N)," he offered as you walked toward him with a smile. "Don't you look pretty tonight. I'm sure you're getting all the tips." 

You laughed as he took your hand and spun you once, looking from your dress to your heels. 

"Good night on your end, Arthur?" You asked. 

"Good night indeed," he answered, whiskey already on his breath. "Business was good and now that I've seen you, the night is even better."

"Oh, now," you joked. "Don't be too sweet on me. I might melt." 

Arthur spun you into a hug and you laughed as Tommy and John came in behind him. Tommy nodded his head to you before slipping into the private room and John watched you closely before doing the same. 

"Let me go, Arthur, and I'll get you boys your drinks," you said as you went to turn around. 

"Don't be long, love," Arthur said with a wink. "It's going to be a rowdy night."

"The rowdier, the better," you called over your shoulder, already slipping past Harry behind the bar to grab the glasses and the bottle. 

"Get them their drinks and come back out," Harry chided as he worked at cleaning glasses. "Now's not the night for you to run off." 

"Yessir," you said sweetly as you kissed his cheek quickly and slipped past him again. 

"Don't tease an old man and do as yer told," Harry yelled, but he had a smile on his face as he watched you run off. 

You open the door and moved into the private area, the Shelby's already in their spots smoking cigars. Arthur nearest the door on the left, Tommy in the corner facing the door, and John on the right. You stood between John and Arthur, facing Tommy.

"Cigars tonight?" You lilted. "Business really must have been good." 

"We're expanding, (Y/N)," Tommy said. "Bigger and better business." 

You poured their drinks, handing them to each brother, a wide smile on your face. 

"Congratulations, boys," you said. 

"How about a congratulations kiss," Arthur said, taking his cap off and placing it on the table. He raised his cheek to you and pointed at it. "For good luck."

"Now," you said, faking exasperation with your hands on your hips. "Harry just told me not to tease an old man. I thought you said when you hired me to listen to him."

All the boys chuckled good naturedly and you bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

"Anything else before I get out of here?" You said with a laugh. "Harry will have my head if you keep me too long."

"Not right now," Tommy said. "But do check in."

You raised your eyebrow before dipping into an exaggerated curtsy. 

"Whatever you say, King Tommy," you drawled before spinning on your heels and returning to the rest of the bar. 

You left the bottle with them, knowing they'd easily finish it. 

You went through the motions of the night, checking in periodically with the Shelby men to see if they finished the bottle or needed ice, or sometimes just to give one a jab. They all seemed in high spirits over whatever had happened and it lifted your own attitude to see them acting like kids again.  

However, John hadn't said more than a word or two all night and it was driving you mad. He was joking with Arthur and Tommy plenty, but as soon as you would enter the room it was almost like he grew quiet. He watched your jabs and taunts to the other two but never joined himself. 

After the bar had quieted and patrons left for the night, John came out of the room and stood between the door and the bar, watching you clean. Harry had disappeared into the back to take stock and pick up the alcohol to replace the night's used bottles.

"You've been tiptoeing around me all night, John boy," you said, finally breaking the silence. "I'm guessing you know I know and cat's got your tongue."

John stuttered a step but walked up and sat at a chair at the bar.

"I know," he said, tracing the wooden grooves on the bar top. 

"That's all you got for me?" You said, tired but incredulous. "You lied to me and all you can say is you know?"

John gulped, but looked up and kept eye contact. 

"I didn't lie," he said. "I just didn't tell you. There is a difference. Home is home. Business is business. They don't mix. They don't meet. That's why I don't invite her here."

"And I'm neither," you said, washing glasses a little more vigorously than before. 

"You're home, too," he said quietly, resuming his focus on tracing lines on the bar top. "But more like the first home. The one you grew up in as a child. The one your parents read to you and tucked you in, like."

You released a breath that you didn't know you were holding and lifted a soapy hand to your forehead. You dropped your shoulders. 

"Gotta grow up sometime, John," you said before you resumed scrubbing.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, (Y/N)" he said. 

You slammed your glasses into the sink, hearing at least one break. You paused to take a heavy breath before you grabbed a towel to dry your hands.

"You once told me you're only as much trouble as I'm willin'," you started in a whisper that steadily grew louder. 

"(Y/N)," John pleaded.

"I'm not willin' no more, John boy," you said in a stronger voice than you thought capable. 

It almost sounded like your heart wasn't shattering. You finally found the courage to look him in the eye. His face was sheer regret. You stepped out of your heels and walked the paces to stand in front of him. You rested your elbows on the counter as you held John's jaw in both hands, squeezing tenderly.

"Do me a favor," you said with tears threatening to fall. "Give me a goodbye kiss, then go home to your family."

He looked you in the eye before looking down to your lips and squeezing his eyes shut. 

"It's alright, John," you soothed. "We're alright. I just need a goodbye."

He took a deep breath and placed a hand over your own and squeezed. 

"Goodnight, (Y/N)" he said hoarsely, before kissing you softly. 

You held the kiss for a moment before letting go of his face and leaning back slowly until you were standing upright again. Your eyes were still closed. That was it. It was done.

"Goodnight, John," you said, slowly opening your eyes. 

He was already slipping out of the door.

Tommy leaned in the private room's doorway watching you when you finally pulled yourself together. You decided to grab a rag and clean tables to get away from his prying eyes. 

"Tommy," you stuttered. "I thought you had already left." 

He hummed, kicked off the door frame, and walked your way. 

"Wanted to make sure that went smoothly," he said. "Looked like you parted just fine."

"You should know me well enough to know I'm not that girl," you glared at him before you wiped a table down and moved to another one. "I'm not anyone's tarte."

"Wasn't you I worried about," he said. "John's not always one to hear no."

You moved tables again and wiped it down. 

"What do you want, Tommy?" You asked, watching him follow you around the bar from the corner of your eye. "What are you scheming?"

"I just wanted to see if you're alright," he said before stepping closer. "That dress looks good on you, (Y/N)."

You threw the rag down on the table and stood up straight to look him in the eye.

"I'm fine," you said. 

"You shouldn't lie," Tommy retorted. "You're bad at it. But you did fine." 

You grunted noncommittally as Tommy stood toe to toe with you. You looked up at him and he touched your face, hesitating before he cupped your cheek. 

"(Y/N)," he said quietly as his warm breath teased your lips. 

"Tommy," you interjected, grabbing his hand that cupped your cheek. "You wouldn't lie to me, would you? You wouldn't … not tell me?"

"I wouldn't lie to you unless you wanted me to, (Y/N)," he said.

Your hand dropped from his and the creases that had appeared on his forehead smoothed. You were enamored with how blue his eyes were at the moment. At how they sparkled.

"Now, (Y/N)," he murmured as he leaned closer, "you absolved my brother of his sin with a kiss. Suffer me with a sin from the same indiscretion."

[definitelyseven]

deal | six (m)

summary: when your step-mom unexpectedly offers you a deal you can’t resist, you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine by seducing her potential suitor, Im Jaebum.

one (m) | two | three (m) | four (m) | five | six (m) | seven | eight (m) | nine | ten | eleven | twelve (m) | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen | sixteen | seventeen - final |

You tossed his shirt across the bathroom floor before reaching for his sweatpants. Your hands slides down his torso, tracing over his abs and down his happy trial. You bit your lip, gazing up at him as you palmed him through his pants. His member became more prominent under his sweatpants. Jaebum hisses at the warmth of your hand on him.

You could still back down if you wanted to. You didn’t have to fuck him nor do you have to do anymore harm to Eunbi than you already have. But what has she done for you besides steal everything you love? She will never be a good mother to Minguk, and she only loved him for his money. 

It wasn’t like he was pushing you away or doing anything to stop you. 

If you were lucky enough, you would’ve been the one to been with him now instead of her. If he went back to the gym the next day like you had everyday after meeting him, you would’ve been with him. 

You removed your panties in front of him and walked towards the bathtub, dragging him behind you. You reached down and dipped your fingers into the water - the temperature was just perfect. Jaebum removes his boxers and guides you to join him inside the bathtub. He pulls you close to his body; back against his chest with all your weight on him. You could feel his half-hardened member press against your back. His hands wandered all over your body, but avoided the places you wanted to be touched the most. 

You let out a small whine. 

“What is it baby?” he whispered against your ear. The only sound that came out of your lips was a small moan. “Tell me,” he demanded.

“T-touch me,” you begged. His touches along with the hot water made you weak and your core tingle. 

“I am touching you,” he teased. Jaebum glides his tongue up your neck and towards your earlobe. A moan escapes your lips as he flicks his tongue against your earlobe, gently sucking and nibbling on it. You squeezed your thighs together in attempt to create some type of friction against your core. “Shhh...be a good girl and spread those legs for me,” he whispered in your ears. You shuddered at his words, but do as he says. Jaebum run his hands up and down your inner thighs, stopping right at your core. 

He made you weak. His fingers danced against your core, massaging your folds and spreading them apart exposing your sensitive bud to the hot water. You thrusted forward, squirming at the new sensation. “You’ll be a good girl for me, right?” You swore you could taste blood in your mouth from how hard you were biting down on your lip. “Answer me baby.”

“Y-yes...” you whimpered. “I’ll be good,” you moaned, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Now I know you think dirty thoughts about daddy. Show me,” he demanded. This catches you off guard. How did he know you masturbated to the thought of him? “Now,” Jaebum demanded in a low voice. 

Your hand made its way down to your core; your legs already spread and wet. You traced your finger up and down your core, coating your folds with your thick juices. “Don’t hold it in. Let me hear you.”

With every demand, you listened obediently. You rubbed your pussy in wide circular motions. “Jae...” you let out, shutting your eyes. The warm water felt so good against your core. You inserted two fingers in yourself, immediately throwing your head back onto his shoulder in pleasure. You pumped your fingers in and out of your pussy, curving your fingers upward to search for your sweet spot. Jaebum was the only person that has every been able to find it which was also one of the main reasons touching yourself never felt as good. “Fuck, daddy it feels so good...” you whimpered, spreading your legs further apart.

Jaebum watched as you moved your fingers in and out of your own pussy. His cock was harder than ever, slightly twitching at the sight of you pleasuring yourself. He dreamnt of this too. He imagined you taking his cock with your mouth and milking him dry. He imagined fucking you till you’re sore, till you’re screaming his name and begging for him to stop.

Jaebum couldn’t hold back anymore. He wanted to have you now.

He turns you around to face him so he can get a good view of you pleasuring yourself. You continued to move your own fingers in and out of yourself, slightly bouncing on your fingers as you whimpered for release. “Now tell me how badly you want me to touch you,” he whispered in your ear again. His lips ran across your neck, leaving subtle sucks across your collar bone and your jaw line. Jaebum cups your face in his hands, pulling your lips down to his. It was as soft and sweet as you remembered. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip before taking them in between his teeth. You moan again.

“Please touch me,” you begged, tears falling from the corner of your eyes from pleasure.

He removed your fingers out of your pussy and quickly replaced them with his own. His fingers were thicker and much longer than yours. “Fuck...” you whimpered again, throwing your head back. Finally having him touch you pushed you closer to the edge.

“You like that baby?” he asked in his low voice again, turning you on even more.

You moaned, “Yes Daddy...it feels so good.” You moaned, bouncing on his fingers as you chased for your own release. Jaebum watched your face contort in pleasure and your tits bounce in and out of the water. 

“You look so good baby,” he whispered grazing his teeth over your neck. You moaned again, feeling your core clench on his fingers. You hold onto his shoulder as your body begins to twitch from the overstimulation. You continued to whine in pleasure. He feels your pussy tighten around his fingers so he curves them upward, quickly finding your sweet spot. A loud moan escape your lips as you lean yourself on him. 

“Daddy...” you whimpered. “I’m close,” you cried out. Jaebum removes his fingers out of your core and picks you up out of the tub. He wraps a towel around your naked body before stroking your cheek with his thumb and leaning down to kiss you. You imagined kissing him in every one of your dreams - he was soft and caring. It was romantic. 

Jaebum guides you towards the bed making you lay down in between the pillows. He removes the towel around your body before climbing in between your legs. Your pussy was still wet and convulsing from earlier. Jaebum leans down to your core, blowing a breath of cold air in between your legs. He teases you, leaving wet kisses along your inner thighs. You whined to be touched. “Jae please...” you begged before he takes you in his mouth. His tongue flicks over your clit as he sucks up all your juices. His tongue works every inch of your core, nibbling on your folds. You run your fingers through his hair as you thrusted your hips upward. With his face buried in your core, you feel his nose rub against your clit providing just the stimulation you were yearning for. Jaebum inserts his fingers in your core, pumping in and out vigorously as he sucks on your clit. “Fuck, I’m so close...” you groaned, squirming. He holds you down by your waist as he continues to work his magic on your core. “Fuck...” you moaned thrusting upwards before cumming all over his fingers and face.

Jaebum lifts his head away from your core; his face covered in your juices. You closed your legs together, feeling your core still convulsing in pleasure. “You taste just as sweet as I remembered princess,” he compliments, making you blush. “Open your mouth for me,” he asked. Once again, you do so obediently. He sticks his fingers that were covered in your juices in your mouth. You twirled your tongue along his fingers, sucking on your own juices. 

“Mmm...” you moaned, looking up at him with lustful eyes. His cock was hard as a rock, pre-cum visibly leaking out of his slit. You reached forward to grab it in your hands. You rubbed his pre-cum over his tip before gathering a pool of saliva in your mouth and letting it drip onto his cock. He watches you attentively. You pumped his cock slowly and occasionally applying pressure to your grip. 

"Use that pretty little mouth of yours for me,” he said, grabbing your hair in a ponytail. You opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue in front of him. You placed his cock in your mouth, slowly licking it upwards, swirling your tongue over the tip of his cock. Your lips wrapped around his cock, slowly inching down to his base. Jaebum moans at the feeling of your mouth on his cock. He guides your mouth further down his cock making you choke. He loved the feeling of your throat closing in on his tip, and feeling you choke on him. You moaned sending vibrations against his cock. “You’re doing so well,” he moans out while stroking your cheek that was covered in tears. “You like choking on daddy’s cock?” You nodded as he thrusted his hips forward making you choke once again. He lifts you up away from his cock till your straddling him. Jaebum runs his thumb over your chin, wiping away the saliva that was dripping down your chin. “So pretty like this,” he smirked, pulling you down to kiss him. You smiled in between the kiss as he pulls your body close to his, arms wrapped tightly on your waist with his chest against yours.

He was taking his time with you. The both of you kissed till you were breathless, only pulling away when you needed air. You leaned your forehead on his, wrapping your arms around his neck before he guides you to sit on his cock. The both of you let out a loud moan feeling his thick cock stretch you out. “You’re so tight,” he groaned, spreading your legs further apart to take the rest of him in. You let out a whimper once you reached the base of his cock. It was so much better than you had remembered; than you had dreamnt of. You moved up and down on his cock, feeling the tip of his cock hit so far in your core.

“Daddy...” you moaned out loud, holding onto the headboard. He moves in sync with you; thrusting his hips forward to meet you. “Harder,” you begged. Jaebum picks up his pace; with each thrust he pushes himself further into you. The only sound that filled the room was your skin slapping against his and the moans that came out of your mouths. He picks you up from his lap, slipping out of you before flipping you onto your stomach. 

“You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamnt of taking you like this,” he whispered in your ear before thrusting back into you. You threw your head back moaning in pleasure. Jaebum grabs your ass, squeezing them as he rams himself in and out of you over and over again. The pit in your stomach grows as you scream out loud in pleasure. He brushes your hair to one slide, exposing your back as he leans down to leave wet kiss all across your shoulder blade. His teeth grazes the nape of your neck whispering dirty thoughts in your ear. 

You felt your core begin to clench on his cock, signaling that you were close to cumming. Your hands gripped the comforter as your body began to shake in pleasure. “I’m cumming,” you whined. Jaebum takes your hand in his, holding onto it tightly, as he drills into you. With his free hand, he reaches for your core, teasing and rubbing your clit. Your body begins to tremble, shaking from the overstimulation. You yelped out loud as you came on his cock. Your body twitches and convulses underneath him.

“Almost there baby,” he said leaning his whole body on yours. His movements become sloppy and short as he chases for his own release. His thrusts were so rough that the bed begins to shake. “Uhhh...” he groans as you feel his hot seed squirt into you. You let out a satisfied moan, clenching your core to milk him dry. “Fuck baby.”

“Hmmmm...” you moaned. He slows down his thrusts as he finishes cumming inside you. 

“Be a good girl and hold all that in for me,” he says, slipping out of you. You moaned with your core still clenched to hold in all his cum. Jaebum flips you over to your back and you let out a small whine. Your legs were shaking from the orgasm he just gave you. He knows you’re tired and that you’re overstimulated, but he liked seeing you all fucked out like this. Jaebum rubs your legs up and down, smirking at how your legs shook. He spreads your legs apart once again, examining your swollen wet pussy. He watches your core clench on nothing in attempt to hold in his cum like he had asked you too. “Such a good girl...” he smirks before sticking a finger in your tight pussy. He twirls his finger in you, watching the cum spill out of your pussy. “You look so pretty like this,” he compliments again. 

You can’t help but blush at all the compliments he was giving you. Jaebum sticks another finger in you, pumping in and out as he watches your face contort in pleasure again. His thumb reaches for your clit, flicking and applying pressure on your bud. You were already exhausted from the previous orgasms and you were unsure if you could cum again, but he made you feel so good. 

One simple touch made your pussy wet. One simple tease had you dripping. 

“I don’t think I can anymore,” you begged, tears falling from the corner of your eyes.

“Yes you can baby. I can feel your core clenching on my fingers already,” he said before diving into your core. His tongue works strategically over your core, devouring every inch of your wet pussy. Jaebum takes your clit in his mouth, flicking his tongue against your bud and sucking on it roughly. You squirm underneath him, thrusting your hips upward as you felt yourself close to orgasm again. He holds you still by pushing your waist down. Jaebum slips a third finger in your tight pussy, curling his fingers upward to reach your sweet spot. Your hand reaches for the hand that was holding you down; grabbing onto it tightly as you came for the third time that night. 

Jaebum lifts his head from your core and hovers over you. “This will be our dirty little secret.”

“Yes daddy,” you said batting your eyes innocently. He smirks, leaning down to kiss you again. Jaebum pulls the comforter over your naked bodies, pulling you close to him.

You lay your head gently on his chest as he strokes your back to calm you down. “Tired?” he whispered. You nodded, snuggling closer to him. He chuckles lightly before leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Goodnight princess.”

a little note from jennie: they finally smashed just like many people requested! the smut is just beginning. be prepared hehe

[victoria-daydreams]

Of Vices and Virtues

Chapter Fourteen: A Never-Ending Nightmare

AN: Nothing to say other then, thank you to everyone who’s followed this story and this is a long ass chapter.

Word Count: 6.8k

Trigger Warnings: colorism/mentions of colorism

Taglist: @azayamari​

Chapter Fifteen: A Love Supreme

Third POV

Charles' sleep had been fitful that night. His dreams were laced with images that he couldn't name, people he couldn't identify, and an overlapping terror that nearly drove him insane. Waking up with a start, he stared wildly around the room, searching for something that would anchor him to reality. Calming his breathing, he stared up at the ceiling, wondering what had caused such horrid nightmares. He almost felt his body commanding him to go back to bed until he heard it.

A scream erupted through the house, waking everyone from their sleep.

Charles sat upright, immediately projecting his mind to through the home to figure out who had screamed. He mentally checked off each of the members in the house, everyone was awake, most likely because of the ear splitting scream that reverberated throughout the mansion.

Puzzled, Charles reached out once more, only to remember that he hadn't checked on Claudia. However, the second he touched his mind to hers, he was met with such an overwhelming sense of horror and fear that he pulled out immediately, feeling slightly sick at his stomach. Rationalizing that he had probably unwittingly shared her dreams.

Charles slid his feet out from the warmth of his blankets, pulling a pair of loose gray sweatpants over his boxers, he made his way out of the room and hurried to Claudia's room, cursing slightly upon stubbing his toe at the door frame. His body convulsed as he searched Claudia's mind once more. Pain rushed through him before he stepped out of her mind. Charles slowed his jog down where he already found a small crowd of the mutants around Claudia's door.

"Go back to bed. Erik and I will handle it," Charles instructed sternly, but there was a gentle undertone to his command.

Though they looked upset, the young mutants shrunk away back to their rooms, each casting glances back. They had never seen Claudia like this, none of them had ever seen Claudia scared. And the sudden show of emotion being terror shocked the young mutants. A look passed between them all, one of both shock and concern.

Erik turned to Charles. "What is wrong with her?"

Another scream ruptured the air.

"I searched through her mind and it was filled with so much pain I had to leave," Charles explained. "Open the door!" he ordered, and Erik obliged quickly.

Claudia was twisting and turning in the bed, her body jerking and arching. Sweat was pouring from every point and her nails were scratching away at the fabric. Her eyes were moving frantically under her eye lids, vibrating almost.

She ran through the dark, she could not see where she was going but she knew that if she didn't run then she would be consumed by the evil that followed her. Running as fast as she could she continued through the pitch black. She could here the thunderous footfalls behind her as the evil drew closer.

Suddenly she ran straight into a wall of some kind. She could not see it but as she ran her hands over it to find an entrance of some kind, she could feel its rough texture. As she continued to find a way through she heard a bang behind her, turning around she could still see nothing through the dark but she felt its hot breath on her skin. Desperate now she turned round again back to the wall, however she saw two dark brown eyes, that were nearly black gleaming down at her. Screaming she tried to run left between the wall and the man behind her, but she was stopped in her tracks by another solid object. Turning around she tried to her left but again she was stopped.

She was trapped.

"You are mine Claudia!" A voice came from behind her. Turning around, she shot a bolt of energy straight at the sound but it did not collide with anything. Suddenly she felt hands come from behind her and grabbed her head. "Your powers are mine!"

Struggling with all her strength she tried to break free but the grip was to strong, and her strength was being drain from her.

"No, stop it. Leave me alone. Stop it. STOP IT!"

"Stop it. STOP IT!" Claudia screamed as she sprang awake.

Not even aware of the two men that were in front of her, she seemed to look right past them, as if they weren't there at all, Charles and Erik didn't need to wonder what kind of monsters she was facing. Pulling her knees up, she wrapped her arms around them before placing her forehead on top and began to shake. Charles slowly took a seat beside her and began rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"Everything's fine. We're all here with you. Nothing is going to happen," Charles soothed calmly, as he continued to rub her back.

Lifting her head slightly Claudia looked to her left to see Charles watching her with a concerned look on his face. Raising her head more, so that she could look around her room she saw that Erik was standing just behind him, an equally concerned look on his face. Erik could see that her tears had stopped for the moment, but her face still had the wet streaks to prove their existence.

"I-I-I-" Claudia stuttered, her lip trembling.

Turning back to Charles, Claudia launched herself into him arms, taking him by surprise, but he wrapped his arms around her nonetheless as she began crying into his shoulder. Her shaky hands clenched at his shirt and she whimpered into his chest. Charles squeezed tightly as sobs racked her body uncontrollably.

"You're safe Claudia," Charles assured, rubbing her back and planting a kiss on top of her head. "I promise," he added, looking up to share a glance with Erik.

Anger. That was all Erik could feel, anger for all the pain that Claudia has gone through. But there was also an undercurrent of ache in his heart for him not being the one to wrap his arms around her and comfort her.

Charles pressed his lips together, examining Claudia for several moments, wondering if he should tell her what he knew about her dreams, or if she would be frightened by the idea of him having read her thoughts—regardless of whether he had had control over it. It wasn't long before Claudia felt the overwhelming panic die down in her throat as the gentle beat of Charles' heart served as a soothing metronome. Claudia closed her eyes and buried herself deeper into Charles' embrace, hoping that his warmth would push away her nightmares.

After several moments, Charles decided to break the silence.

"I want to try something," he spoke up.

She looked up at him, "Okay..." Claudia responded wearily.

Charles places his finger against his temple once again and let out one word into Claudia's mind.

Sleep.

And Claudia took no time in shutting her eyes and falling into the deep world of dreams. For once, she had been able to forget the pain of her past, and fell into a peaceful sleep.

"What did you do?" Erik asked as he stared at the woman he considered a good friend.

"Though she's too stubborn to admit it. She hasn't been sleeping well, I noticed it when we first took her to the CIA facility. I just simply put her into a deep sleep. One that she would recover feeling refreshed instead of exhausted," Charles explained as he pulled Claudia's blanket up and secured it around her sleeping form.

"Goodnight, Claudia. Pleasant dreams," Charles murmured sweetly.

~~~x~~~

Claudia's POV

The blinding light managed to make it's way through the cracks of the satin blue curtains. It peeked it's way inside my eyes, and I let out a deep breath, as soon I gained back my senses. I closed my fingers into fists, then flexed them, getting use to the feeling. I could feel air flow in and out of my nose, and hear my surroundings. Finally, I felt alive and well. A light rapping came from my bedroom door, then it slowly opened, as Charles poked his head in, surveying me. He gave a small grin, and let himself into the room.

"Good, you're awake," he spoke softly.

"And well rested," I returned hoarsely, pushing myself up.

He gave a breathless chuckle and nodded. I noted his appearance. He looked tired; deep, dark bags underneath his weary, blue eyes, and his hair not as neatly parted as it usually is.

"May I come in?" Charles asked, leaning against the door.

"Of course," I answered smiling, vigorously motioning for him to come in and he stepped in the room, closing the door behind him. "What can I do for you this morning?" I asked, as Charles sat down on my bed.

"I wanted to come check on you. I saw your nightmare last night, Claudia," Charles started, and my smile slowly faded. "I'm sorry, Claudia, I truly am," he took ahold of my hands and I was struck with the sudden pity Charles felt for me.

"Don't be," I glanced back up at him. "I know you would never violate my trust purposefully,"

My voice was a whisper—if the room hadn't been so silent, he probably wouldn't have been able to hear me.

Charles nodded, not taking his eyes away from mine. I looked away, pressing my cheek against the top of my arm; he was silent for several moments, allowing me time to grieve as I clearly wished.

After a few minutes had lapsed, he spoke again, gently. "There's no training today," Charles informed, placing his hand on mine. "Take as much time as you need," he said, brushing his thumb over my hand.

I lifted my head back up, "Please don't stop training on my account Charles," I pressed.

"Nonsense," he disagreed. "We all deserve a day off. You deserve a day off," Charles stressed. "Breakfast is being served, would you like to join on us?" he asked, I nodded my head yes. Charles stood up from my bed before lifting me up from the comforts of my bed, helping me onto my feet.

The two of us left my room silently and descended the steps into the kitchen that was filled chatter of the occupants in the mansion, but once I entered with Charles silence fell over everyone. Hank was standing just behind Raven both of them sharing a concerned look on their faces. Sean sat at the kitchen table, with Alex leaning on it next to him. Moira stopped mid-motion of washing dishes, and finally Erik who stood near the window starring out of it turned his body to face me.

I wrung my hands together, "I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep last night. I..uh..promise to keep my mind at bay," I apologized sheepishly, embarrassed that they all knew how troubled I really was.

That the facade I had been putting was shattered.

~~~x~~~

I looked into the mirror and smiled contently at my reflection. My hair was down and done in a loose ponytail and my makeup was done naturally, I ran my hands over the blue plaid fabric of my jumper dress, smoothing out the wrinkles I saw. The mansion was uncharacteristically quiet, but that was only because everyone had mostly left the mansion. Charles was going on a supermarket run, Moira along with the rest of the younger mutants all volunteered to go as a way to get out of the mansion and an attempt of buying food of their preferred choice.

Charles suggested that I come with them, he said it might do me so good to get out of the house, but I declined. Erik, also declined to go, he said he wanted to keep me company after yesterday. I took one last glance at the mirror and then left my room, making my way down the stairs and to the kitchen.

I walked over to the cabinets and bent down to grab a kettle from the lower cabinet. Standing back up I grabbed a tea bag from the shelf above my head and placed the bag down on the counter while I put the kettle in the sink and turned on the water. The water poured down into the kettle and I rolled up the sleeves of my brown turtleneck to avoid them getting wet. Turning around, I moved over to the stove and turned it on. I began humming to myself as I went back to the sink, turning the faucet off and grabbing the kettle filled with water.

I placed the kettle onto the burner and lowly began to sing aloud, waiting for the water to boil.

"When skies are cloudy and gray. They're only gray for a day. So wrap your troubles in dreams. And dream your troubles away,"

I moved away from the stove and walked to the sink, grabbing a clean mug and plate from the dish tray, before I stepped away and made my way to the the food cabinet and got out a pack of biscuits, and while I was arranging them on a plate, the tea kettle began to whistle.

"Until that sunshine peeps through. There's only one thing to do. Just wrap your troubles in dreams. And dream your troubles away,"

Pausing in my biscuit arrangements I went over to the stove and took the kettle off the stove before turning it off and dropped a lemon tea bag into my mug, pouring the boiling liquid from the kettle into my mug. I went to the refrigerator giving the tea a few minutes to steep as I located the milk in the fridge and the sugar on the countertop.

"Your castles may tumble. That's fate after all. Life's really funny that way..." I paused, taking a long draw from my mug.

"You must be feeling a lot better," Erik stated, from behind me and nearly causing me to spill hot tea on my hand. "I can't recall the last time I heard you sing," he added, with a light chuckle.

I placed my mug down and spun around to face Erik, who was standing in the entrance of the kitchen. Erik's eyes widened slightly at the sight of me and I raised my eyebrow at his reaction.

"What?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Incredible," Erik murmured. "You look absolutely incredible," he continued in shock.

I smiled as I felt my cheeks heat up, "Thank you Erik," I laughed, temporarily looking down at the floor. "But does that mean I was a downright horror to look at this whole time?" I asked teasingly, staring back up at him.

"No. No, no, no. That's not what I meant I-" Erik spluttered.

"I knew what you meant Erik, I'm just pulling your leg," I interrupted, flashing a grin at him.

"Since all the time I've known you, I have never seen you look so...peaceful," he commented, shaking his head.

"Yes, well, it's amazing what a good night's rest can do for one's body," I smiled, before lifting my mug and taking another sip of my tea.

Erik moved closer to me and took my free hand in his, "Come on, I have surprise for you,"

I placed my mug down, "Erik, I just made tea and biscuits," I whined, a pout forming on my face.

"But this will be so much better than tea and biscuits," Erik countered, mimicking my tone.

"Do you promise?" I questioned.

"Promise,"

I allowed myself to be pulled away from my spot on the counter and out of the kitchen. Erik led me back up the stairs and walking us to my room.

"Why are we at my room?" I asked, arching a brow.

"I need to get something," Erik replied simply.

"In my room?"

"Be right back," he said as he ran into my room and came back with one of mine silk scarves.

He tied it around my eyes and grabbed my hand, leading me down the hall and to the stairs before we finally left the mansion.

"Where are you taking me Erik?" I laughed, hearing the crunch of gravel underneath our feet.

"It's a secret," Erik chuckled, still leading me around to wherever we were going.

The sound of birds chirping around us gave me indicator that we were in the woods near Charles' mansion. Erik pace began to slow down before we came to a complete stop. Erik let go of my hand and moved behind me, his chest pressed against my back.

"I'm going to count to three and remove your blindfold," Erik said, and I nodded feeling a smile creep on my face. "One...two...three," he counted, his mouth right next to my ear.

Erik carefully untied my blindfold and once I opened my eyes I was immersed in sunlight, blinking several times to adjust my eyes I finally noticed a picnic setting with the classic checkered blanket and wicker basket underneath a large tree in the blackberry patch that he scared me in a week ago.

"You shouldn't have!" I stated, spinning around and Erik just smiled.

"I wanted to," Erik reflecting my smile. "I figured you could use pick me up of sorts after yesterday," he explained, with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh Erik, thank you," I said, a genuine smile on my lips. "Thank you so much," I repeated, before walking to the laid out blanket with Erik following behind me.

I kicked my shoes as I lowered myself down on the soft blanket and Erik sat down beside me as the cool air was blew a light breeze,

"So Mr. Lehnsherr, what do you have prepared for us?" I asked, letting my toes rest in the soft grass.

"Well Miss Walker," Erik began with a smile as he started pulling our meal out of the basket. "We have sandwiches, pickles, rolls, chips, and cookies," he listed, individually taking out each item.

I clapped my hands together, "Very good!" I chirped, watching as Erik grabbed a pair of plates from the basket as well. "I feel quite special, that you're doing all this for me," I laughed, my hands falling back down into my lap.

Erik shook some potato chips onto the plate now in front of me before handing me a triangular cut sandwich. Our conversation flowed easily as we ate, just as it always did. We were laughing loudly, my arms waving as I shared a story from when I was in college and at a nightclub with a friend and how I used my powers to get some man to stop bothering us. Erik nearly choked on his Coke as he laughed, his hand slamming down on the blanket as he chuckled.

"Nausea?" Erik asked smiling.

"Yep," I grinned proudly. "Subtle, but effective," I answered.

I reached in the wicker basket looking for a napkin to give Erik, but instead I pulled out a brown paper bag. I drew my lips into a thin line, staring at the paper bag as it wordlessly taunted me.

"What did the poor brown paper bag do to you?" Erik asked, an amused expression on his face.

I looked back down at the bag, "During my freshman year of college I wanted to join this sorority called the AKA's or Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated," I began, lifting my gaze back to Erik. "In order to even be considered for the sorority I had to take this stupid, humiliating test. The Paper Bag Test," I remembered, with a slight scowl on my face.

"The Paper Bag Test?" Erik asked, letting out a snort.

"Yes, The Paper Bag Test," I repeated. "If your skin is darker than the paper bag then the sorority would not let you in," I explained, lifting the bag to my arm. "I failed as you can clearly see," I remarked, laying down on my back. "You know it's one thing to be discriminated against from someone of the opposite race, but it's another when you realize it's coming from your own," I stated sadly, shaking my head. "That same night after I was rejected, I thought about how much prettier I would be if I were of lighter skin," I added, placing the bag down onto the blanket.

I released a deep breath and stared down at my arms and watched as the illusion took ahold of me. I watched as my golden brown skin became lighter and into a pale brown, I looked up at Erik to see palpable fascination in his eyes.

"Now am I beautiful?" I asked, pushing myself up slightly on my arms.

"My dear Claudia you could never been so wrong," Erik began. "You've always been beautiful,"

I attempted and failed to prevent the full blown smile that appeared on my face when I heard what Erik said. Black strands of hair fell in front of my face, the wind blowing a gentle breeze around us. I looked down at my feet as my skin returned to it's original tone. Neither of us spoke for a while. After a few minutes I raised my head and saw that Erik was already looking at me with his piercing eyes.

"You're the first person I told about this," I admitted, not looking away.

"I rather like this side of you," Erik commented.

"Don't get used to it," I quipped. I pushed myself up and curled my legs to the side, propping myself up with my right hand. "Can I tell you a secret Erik?" I asked, the smile on my lips slowly diminishing.

"Of course," Erik answered, his playful demeanor changing once he saw my face.

"Do you remember Robert and David? The lab assistants," I reminded, and his eyes hardened at the mention of them.

"I do," he answered tightly.

"I-uh...I killed them," I confessed, watching Erik's reaction.

"How?"

I let out a humorless laugh, "It took some doing, but I managed to track them down," I explained, nodding my head. "I found David at a medical conference, he was one of the many people to speak that day. The conference was open to the public making it incredibly easy to execute my plan. David was on a panel that was supposed to speak at 3:00 p.m.," I recalled, going off in a daze. "So, I walked myself into that auditorium and plopped myself down in one of the front row seats and just stared at him," I remembered.

I paused momentarily to catch my breath.

"It took him awhile to notice me, but when he did see me, his whole body went rigid. His eyes, oh the look in his eyes as we stared at each other, it was nothing but pure fear. And I seized on that fear, amplified the terror he was feeling times ten. And then, boom..." I trailed off, merely shrugging. "David clutched his chest and fell out of chair onto the stage with a thud," I continued. "Plunged the whole room into chaos," I added, a snort escaping me.

"The many cries for someone to call 911, the other speakers on stage attempting to save David, but then there was me. Rising from my seat and leaving the auditorium with the calmest expression as David's life slowly and painfully slipped away from him. Guess what the nightly news reported his cause of death as?" I asked, raising both of my eyebrows.

"What?"

"Massive heart attack," I answered, pleased with myself.

"And what of Robert?" Erik questioned curiously.

"Two weeks had passed after I killed David, I found Robert in Maryland. I learned the route he took to work every morning by discreetly following him for two days. On the third day I finally confronted him, it was morning rush hour and the sidewalks were packed with people going to work. Robert was walking one way and I was walking the opposite way facing him. All it took was one glance by him to realize who I was as we moved pass each other, and just like David, Robert's eyes widened. But I only smirked at him as I conjured an overwhelming despair to take over Robert, it wasn't long before I knew my plan had worked," I recounted, playing with my ponytail.

"And how did you know your plan worked?" Erik asked again.

"The sound of tires screeching, a loud smack of a body hitting a car, and the screams of horror told me all I needed to know," I answered dryly.

Erik and I sat in silence for awhile, I wasn't sure if my sudden confession had stunned him into silence or if he was just thinking it over.

"I could have made the decision not to kill them," I stated, and Erik turned to look me. "Hell, I could've decided not kill those security guards either. I should have been satisfied with killing Professor Lewis...but it wasn't enough, not for me. I wanted all them to suffer just like how I did because each one of them played a role in it. God Erik, what kind of person does that make me?" I questioned. "A blood thirsty animal?" I wondered.

Erik placed a hand on my cheek, "No," he answered softly, shaking his head. "The kind of person who rightfully got their vengeance, Claudia, and don't you ever forget that,"

"Thank you," I briefly looked down at the blanket before bringing my gaze back up at Erik.

"Your welcome,"

Erik stroked my cheek tenderly, his fingertips grazing softly over my skin. He inched closer, tilting his head toward mine, Erik leaned in so close, our noses gently touched. I took in the crisp scent of his cologne. He smelled of cinnamon, woody, and of something else. As our faces were mere inches away from each other, he stared deeply into my eyes. Erik swallowed, looking down, eyes flicking haphazardly from my lips back to my eyes. I reached out, running my fingers up Erik's face and I tilted my head upward, slowly closing the distance between us.

My eyes fell shut and for a moment the world around us stood still, I couldn't hear the birds chirping nor the faint creaking of trees in the breeze. No, for now it was just the two of us. I pushed my head slightly forward, our lips almost meeting.

Then suddenly the blaring of a car horn quickly broke us apart, my eyes snapping open. Both of us were breathing heavily and I looked away from Erik, staring at the path back to the mansion.

Turning back to Erik I could feel my face heating up, "We uh...should help them with the groceries," I suggested, swallowing deeply. I pushed myself up from the ground and slipped my shoes back on. "Thanks for the picnic Erik...you're a true friend," I stated, my lips forming a smile.

"Anytime," Erik answered, returning my smile.

But as I walked away from Erik I felt a dull ache of pain in my chest and I placed my hand on my chest.

"Hurt?" I thought. "No, that's not mine,"

I wanted to look back, but dared not to. For the hurt that I felt came from none other than Erik.

~~~x~~~

"What was with the face?" I asked, remembering how Raven sat through dinner with a dark expression on her face.

"I don't know, maybe teenage angst," Charles joked.

Sunset had fallen upon Xavier Manor. It had been ten minutes since dinner ended leaving Charles and I the only people left in the kitchen. The two of us sat at the small, circular wooden table that was tucked in the corner of the kitchen, sharing a bowl of ice cream that he just bought from the grocery store. I grabbed the glass bottle of chocolate syrup next to me and poured way too much syrup on my side of the bowl, not caring that I made a goopy mess.

"Is everything alright between you and Raven?" Charles asked, before putting a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

"I would think so, I haven't noticed anything that would say otherwise," I answered, shrugging my shoulders before following Charles' action. I relished the sweet chocolate syrup mixed with the ice cream and decided I had never tasted anything so heavenly. "Why?" I asked, looking up at him.

"It just seemed tense at the table, that's all," Charles stated. "Are you and Erik-" he began.

"Jesus Charles, Erik and I getting along fine as well," I interjected, placing my spoon down. "We just had a picnic together a few hours ago," I explained, leaving out certain events. "What is with the interrogation?" I questioned, lifting a brow.

"He's been brooding ever since this afternoon,"

"It's Erik, when isn't he brooding?" I asked simply, rolling my eyes. I placed both my hands down onto the table and pushed myself up from my chair. "Look Charles, I'm sure Erik is fine," I assured, moving over to him and lowering myself down onto Charles' lap. "Okay?" I asked, looping my arm around his neck and he let out a sigh while nodding his head.

"I'm sure you're right," Charles said, wrapping an arm around my waist. "But as his friend, I'll check in on him," he stated.

"You're a good a man Charles," I remarked, playing with the loose tendrils of his hair. "Has anyone told you that?" I asked, before tapping his nose with my finger.

"Once or twice, but I'm always open to hearing it again especially from you," Charles murmured, tilting his head up slightly.

A soft laugh escaped me as I went to respond, but I got the feeling that we were being watched. I turned my head away from Charles and stared at the empty door frame of the kitchen.

"You can stop hiding behind the corner," I called out, feeling a quick flash of embarrassment. "Yes, I know you're there. Don't worry, we won't bite," I quipped.

Coming around the wall was a rather embarrassed looking Hank, pushing his glasses back up onto his nose.

"I-I just wanted to get a glass water," he stated sheepishly.

"Well don't let us stop you," I said, getting up from Charles' lap. "As a matter of fact, I was just leaving. I'm going to take a walk before it gets dark," I announced, sliding my hand off of Charles' shoulder.

"And I need to talk to Erik," Charles commented, standing up as well.

"See Hank," I began, spreading my hands out in front of me. "The kitchen is all yours," I joked, smiling at him.

I moved past the the two men and made my way down the deserted hallways towards the back door. There was a lake that sat behind Charles' mansion, it was the perfect path for me to stretch my legs and for me to get a little peace and quiet. Turning the handle, I opened the back door of the mansion, allowing a cool breeze to filter through the room, as I stepped through to go outside. I walked with my hands behind my back as I traveled to the lake, listening to the rhythmic crunching of my shoes on the gravel.

Arriving close to my destination I stood in the grass and admired the spirals that formed in the water from whatever fish were underneath. Glancing around, I realized I wasn't alone, there was a familiar brunette woman standing closer to the lake edge. Quietly, I walked closer to Moira until I was directly behind her.

"Want some company?" I asked with a smile.

Moira jumped from the sound of my voice and spun around to face me, her hand against her chest.

"Claudia, you scared me," Moira breathed, a smile appearing on her face.

"Sorry," I apologized, smiling and lifting my hands up.

"Yes, I would love some company," Moira said.

I walked over next to her and looked down at the lake. The shimmering water reflecting the sunlight off it in glittering splendor back at me. I unlinked my fingers from each other and lifted my hand up to my necklace, rubbing the smooth stone.

"So, you and Charles, huh?" Moira asked, and I snapped my head in her direction, Moira's eyebrow raised.

"Pardon?" I asked, dropping the stone charm.

"Claudia," Moira called, leaning her head forward and just sent me a knowing look.

Was it really that obvious Charles and I were attracted to each other?

I smiled and let out a sigh, "I guess there is something," I hinted, merely shrugging and biting my lip. "I'm not sure I'm good for him though," I suggested, shaking my head.

Moira looked at me narrowing her eyes as the wind gently blew through her hair, "Claudia," She called again. "I have seen the way Charles looks at you, the way his eyes light up at the mention of your name," Moira pointed out. "He makes you genuinely happy Claudia, it's all in your eyes, they seem to sparkle when you're truly happy," Moira continued, and I let out a chuckle of disbelief that she had been observing me this whole time. "Charles is the happiest when he's around you. So, the way I see it you are the best for each other," Moira finished, a grin on her face.

"Thanks," I replied with a small smile. "Although none of this will matter if we end up dying," I stated grimly, still appreciating Moira's words.

Moira looked at me shaking her head, "You won't die," Moira asserted. "Not if I have any say about it,"

~~~x~~~

"I know for certain, the one I love. I'm through with flirtin', it's just you I'm thinkin' of! Ain't misbehavin', I'm savin' my love for you!"

I swayed to the music, completely dismissing every thought of the future, just moving to the music and listening as Carmen McRae's silky voice melted into the piano notes.

"Like Jack Horner in the corner, don't go nowhere. What do I care?"

I spun around, dancing backwards to the shelf I needed to be at, when my back hit something hard. Not hard enough to be a bookcase though. Freezing, I felt someone grab my waist, beginning to turn me around. When I looked up, I found Charles looked down questioningly at me.

"What was that?"

"Uh," I suddenly became aware of exactly what was happening. The music returned to it's full volume in a matter of seconds, and every bit of the present flew into my head. The present, my own thoughts, and the feeling of Charles' grip on my waist. "Putting a book...a book back. If you don't mind?" I challenged, raising a brow.

"I don't,"

"Then let me go," I ordered. "Please," I added.

Instead of letting me go Charles leaned in, close enough for me to feel his breath on my cheek.

"Of course," He nearly whispered, before pulling away.

"Thank you very much," I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice. I went over to the shelf, placing the book in its proper spot. "There we go," I commented.

"Miss Walker?" I whipped around at the sound of my surname, which is exactly what he wanted. "Any particular reason you were dancing in the library?"

I cocked my eyebrow at him again, "You're about to laugh, Mr. Xavier, but I don't advise it. I was, you know, dancing because I wanted to. Simple as that. Besides, I love that song," I looked at my list, then sighed at the realization that my next book was out of my reach.

"You seem very at home in a library," Charles commented, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"I grew up in a book store for a while. My grandfather owned it," I explained, leaving it at that.

"Oh, so you must have read a lot then?"

"Yes, I did," I answered, a faint smile on my lip reminiscing on the memories. "I don't remember much about him since he passed away, but I do remember that he's the first person to introduce me to jazz music," I said, my lips curving into a smile as I folded my list and slid it into my dress pocket. "Speaking of jazz, you know you surprised me Charles. I would have never took you as a jazz lover," I stated, moving along the shelves that filled an entire wall. They were filled with vinyl records of Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday and more.

Charles followed along behind me, "Oh really? What music did you think I liked?" Charles asked, his fingers gliding along his shelf that were filled with books, like the works of Edgar Allen Poe, H.P. Love Craft and Mary Shelly's 'Frankenstein'.

"Classical music, like Mozart and Beethoven," I suggested, spinning around to face him once more.

"Well, allow me to surprise you even more," Charles smirked, moving over to his records shelf.

Charles pulled a record out of the shelf and walked over to the record player, picking the needle up from the vinyl I was playing before removing it from the turntable. He slid the Carmen McRae record I was listening to back into its holder and placed another record onto the turntable. He lowered the needle onto to the record, then the scratch as the needle looked for the opening groove.

I listened to the chords of the piano begin to play, feeling my body sway a little in time with the calming music.

"I love you..."

I instantly recognized the owner of the voice and the song he sang. It was I Love You For Sentimental Reasons by Nat King Cole. I walked towards Charles, my dress, slightly bounced as I glided forward.

"...for sentimental reasons..."

Charles gave me an appreciative smile, and stood holding his hand out to me and bowed, "Miss Walker, may I have the pleasure of this dance?" he asked, I smiled and nodded my head.

Softly, Charles pulled me towards him and wrapped his arm around my back. I placed my hand in his and we began to dance. I was a little surprised at how good Charles could dance as I allowed him to subduedly steer me around the library, he didn't seem like the type.

"Good choice, but why exactly did you chose this record?" I look up into those warm blue eyes and his brown locks that I had sudden urge to to run my hands through.

"I hope you do believe me..."

"Because it reminds me of us, of you," Charles whispered into my ear. I feel Charles' hand rest on the small of my back and I felt my cheeks up.

I briefly laid my head on his chest, "Stop, you're going to make me blush, even though I can't," I chuckled.

"I'll give you my heart..."

Despite the fact that it didn't seem particularly appropriate considering the pleasantly slow and melodious music Charles spun me away from him. I turned gracefully outward without a problem. Using the momentum produced by the turn I reeled myself back in towards my dance partner. He pulled me in tight and I savored the comforting warmth he sent through me as we continued to dance.

"I love you, and you alone were meant for me..."

My body swayed in time with the music I closed my eyes in the soft, dim lights and savoring the moment. My mind couldn't help but think about the man I was dancing with. Charles was too perfect to be real, it was like God had sculpted him into my vision of the perfect man. Everything he said, everything he did. I'd felt attraction to some men in my past, mainly teenage years and during my undergrad, as was to be expected. Some I'd dated, even kissed, and well...one man had me convinced to give myself to him.

Charles was different though.

"Please, give your loving heart to me..."

My eyes opened to see that Charles was staring down at me shamelessly, both of us lost in each other's eyes. Gradually, I realized that Charles was leaning closer to me in the blink of an eye, our lips were connected.

"And say we'll never part..."

It was a slow, but warm kiss, our lips moved in sync with each other. All of the built-up emotion and tension between us were being let out through this kiss. Charles stopped swaying and wrapped his arms around my body. I deepened the kiss and Charles let out a small pleasurable moan. Although we didn't want this kiss to end, slowly as one minded we slowed the rhythm. When we finally disconnected our lips from each other, the two of us catching our breaths. Our eyes slowly opening together and we shared a shy smile of happiness, no words spoken between us.

Charles' hands rested on my waist. Lifting my hand up and run it through his silky, soft hair before slinging my arms around his neck.

"I love you with all my heart Claudia," he hummed before our lips connected again.

Chapter Sixteen: Tensions Run High

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Cell Block Tango - The Dark Marauders

The seven Marauders join the Dark side willingly and with a starking fervor.

They end up in Azkaban as a result. And generations of children visit them afterwards, treated to their stories and forced to face the horrible prospect that just about anyone can be Evil if given enough reason.

TRIGGER WARNING - CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. (rape, torture, murder, sexual and physical abuse of adults and children, graphic depictions of violence and injury, etc.) READ WITH CAUTION. BE SAFE.

(The students are led into a pitch black section of the jail. Green and white lights flash as each of the Marauders sing.)

REGULUS

Sectum…

PETER

Avada…

SEVERUS

Sempra…

SIRIUS

Kedavra…

JAMES

Imperio…

REMUS

Crucio…

LILY

Reducto!

(“Hi, Minnie,” Sirius says with a smirk.

Mcgonogall looks at her former favorite students with sad eyes, holding out a shaking hand in introduction.)

MCGONOGALL

And now, the seven deadly Death Eaters of Azakaban

In their rendition of! The Cell Block Tango

(The Marauders whirl into action.)

REGULUS

Sectum…

PETER

Avada…

SEVERUS

Sempra…

SIRIUS

Kedavra…

JAMES

Imperio…

REMUS

Crucio…

LILY

Reducto!

(The lights stop flashing and come up on the seven Marauders. The students rear back at the sight of seven madmen grinning against the bars of their cells.)

THE MARAUDERS

Sectum, Avada, Sempra, Kedavra, Imperio, Crucio, Reducto!

Sectum, Avada, Sempra, Kedavra, Imperio, Crucio, Reducto!

Sectum, Avada, Sempra, Kedavra, Imperio, Crucio, Reducto!

They had it coming!

They had it coming!

They only had themselves to blame!

If you’d have been there -

If you’d have seen it -

I betcha you would have done the same!

Sectum, Avada, Sempra, Kedavra, Imperio, Crucio, Reducto!

Sectum, Avada, Sempra, Kedavra, Imperio, Crucio, Reducto!

(Lily steps forward from the murmuring hoard. The students look up at her in fear, taking in her fiery beauty, hidden by dirt and bruises and scars. Her hair, tangled in a mad mass on her head, falls in clumps over her dusty and ragged prison gown.

She grins.)

LILY

You know how people have these little habits that get you down?

Like Harry…

Harry, my baby son with Jamesie here.

See, Harry liked to cry.

And cry, and cry, and cry…

So I come home this one day

And I’m really irritated,

And I’m looking for some peace and quiet.

And there’s Harry - lying in his crib, rolling around and whimpering.

No, not whimpering -

Crying.

So, I smiled and I picked him up and I told him, I said, “You cry one more time, little one…”

And he did.

So I took my wand from my pocket

And I fired three spells…

(In the back, James lets out a mad scream: “REDUCTO!”

Lily’s grin disappears in a flash.)

At his head.

(The spotlight around Lily goes out. The lights go back to flashing as the Marauders move spastically, grinning at the children and occasionally murmuring, “Boo.”

Most of the students have gathered around Mcgonogall’s skirts by now, burying their faces in her robes.)

THE MARAUDERS

He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He only had himself to blame!

If you’d have been there -

If you’d have heard it -

I betcha you would have done the same!

(The spotlight comes up on James as everything else goes black. He grins, a mad twinkle in his eye as he twirls his fingers as if holding a wand.

“It’s rude to close your eyes during a performance, you know,” he says. Some of the students look up. James grins wider.

“I’d hate to think what might happen if any of you were rude.”

All of the students quickly snap their heads up, some so fast their necks crack uncomfortably.

James looks up at Mcgonogall and grins manically.

“That’s better.”)

JAMES

I met Lily Evans from Little Whinging Surrey about ten years ago.

And I told her I was single.

And she slapped me across the face.

So, we started a little game of push and pull.

I’d flirt with her and bully her best friend, she’d hex me til I couldn’t walk and wink as she walked away.

You know - young love!

And then I found out -

“Only best friends,” she told me -

Best friends, my ass.

Not only were they dating -

Oh no, they were engaged.

One of those childhood sweetheart things, you know?

So that day when she walked down the hall by me,

I threw out a few lines as usual -

(From behind, Remus roars, “IMPERIO!”)

You know, some girls just don’t know the right man until they’ve fucked the wrong one!

(Mcgonogall covers her mouth with her hand. One of the students squeaks and starts to cry.

James looks up, grin gone and replaced by eyes that glint dangerously. He throws himself back into the others as the lights start to flash yet again.)

THE MARAUDERS

She had it coming!

She had it coming!

She chose the loser

Over the catch!

And so he used it -

And he abused it -

It was a fire

But not a match!

(From the flashing throng, Severus thrusts himself forward. The others freeze behind him as he stumbles to a stop in front of the bars, licking his teeth as he sneers and cuts his eyes across the quivering students.

“Well, well, well…” He says, and presses his filthy fingernails into his palms until they draw blood. He pulls his hands down his face, covering himself in red as Mcgonogall murmurs, “Oh Merlin,” into her hand.

He grins.)

SEVERUS

Now, I’m standing in the classroom,

Carving up some beazors for a potion,

Minding my own business.

In storms my boss Albus in a bitchin’ rage!

He’s got the Malfoys behind him and everything, something about me fucking their son or something or other -

“You been screwing the Malfoys’ boy!” he shouts!

They were crazy!

And they kept on screaming!

“You been screwing my son!”

(From the back, Lily screeches, “SECTUMSEMPRA!”)

And then they ran into my spell.

(Severus grins, drawing a lock of filthy platinum blonde hair from his pocket and thrusting it at the students. The ones it touches scream.

Severus grins wider, wiggling his fingers.)

They ran into my spell ten times.

(The Marauders start moving again as the lights start flashing.)

THE MARAUDERS

If you’d have been there

If you’d have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

(The lights suddenly stop on Sirius. He’s still slightly shrouded in darkness, wrapped in Remus’ arms. They dance slowly, suggestively, with Sirius sniffling softly the whole time.

Mcgonogall’s expression sags at the sight.)

SIRIUS

Depuis que j'étais jeune, j'étais différent. (Ever since I was young, I was different.)

L'accident. L'erreur. (The accident. The mistake.)

Le traître. (The traitor.)

Onze, Gryffindor. (Eleven, Gryffindor.)

(He tugs at his neck.)

Douze, fauteur de troubles. (Twelve, troublemaker.)

(He punches Severus, who spits blood and grins.)

Treize, Muggleborns. (Thirteen, Muggleborns.)

(He pulls at Lily until she wrenches away into Severus’ arms.)

Quatorze, Animagus. (Fourteen, Animagus.)

(He shifts into a dog and then back again in the blink of an eye.)

Quinze, petit ami. (Fifteen, boyfriend.)

(He kisses Remus filthily.)

Seize ans, loup-garou. (Sixteen, werewolf.)

(He drags his shirt up over his stomach, where there are countless claw marks.)

Dix-sept, Potter. (Seventeen, Potter.)

(He slaps James so hard he draws blood, who grins and slinks towards Severus.)

Merde! Merde! Merde! (Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!)

Et ils me détestaient, me détestaient, me détestaient… (And they hated me, hated me, hated me…)

J'aurais pu aussi bien être mort. (I might as well have been dead.)

Et j'étais presque - (And I nearly was -)

Douleur et torture et tourment et malédiction après coup après coup… (Pain and torture and torment and curse after kick after punch…)

Et puis l'un d'eux m'a attrapé le bras. (And then one of them grabbed my arm.)

Poussa leur baguette contre elle. (Shoved their wand against it.)

J'ai vu des serpents. (I saw snakes.)

Et puis j'ai vu du rouge. (And then I saw red.)

(From behind, Regulus screams, “AVADA KEDAVRA!”)

Rouge, rouge, rouge. (Red, red, red.)

(Sirius is nearly sobbing now, as Remus brushes a finger down his cheek. Severus sneers.)

SEVERUS

Yeah, but did you do it?

(Sirius gasps, shaking his head frantically and bursting forward, fists by his sides and tears whirling out from his eyes.)

SIRIUS

Uh-uh!

Not guilty!

(Sirius falls out of Remus’ arms and back into the fray. As he rises from the floor and joins the odd puppet dance the others are doing, Remus stalks forward, hips out and mouth curled up into a snarl.)

THE MARAUDERS

They had it coming…

(The students jerk back from the bars as Remus slams himself against them and roars, cackling loudly. When he turns back to them, his eyes are burning golden and amber.

Mcgonogall steps back, shoving the children behind her. Remus grins and lets out a feral howl.)

REMUS

You see, when I was a child,

I loved walking around the woods.

I’d spend hours in there, you know -

Just wandering around, picking flowers,

You know!

Sweet, innocent, childlike things.

And then one day…

I’m wearing my favorite red jumper and skipping through the woods

And there’s this man.

He’s standing behind a tree and snarling at me,

And I’m backing away.

And I start running -

But the sun starts setting.

It goes down and down and down then suddenly -

It was dark.

And here I am, lost in the woods,

This wild man chasing me.

And I’m terrified for my life of course, and that was before he suddenly howled -

Howled!

And there in his place was a huge, hulking wolf.

And I stopped.

I stopped to watch him Change.

And he fucking bit me.

Lunged and tore at my neck and my face and my chest,

And suddenly I’m bending and breaking and Changing and I’m -

Well, I’m a monster.

I was in such a state, you see, such a state.

I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing.

(From behind, Sirius howls. Severus yowls, “CRUCIO!”

Remus grins.)

It wasn't until later,

When I was washing my parents’ blood off my hands,

I even knew who I was!

(Remus shoves hard against the bars and sends himself tumbling back into the others. Severus catches him in a dip and twirls him towards Sirius, who dips him in a filthy kiss before letting him go so they can both start dancing again.

Mcgonogall is nearly in tears. Most of the students aren’t so lucky.)

THE MARAUDERS

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They had it coming all along!

(Remus, still in the center, snaps his head back.)

REMUS (THE MARAUDERS in parentheses)

I didn't do it (he didn't do it)

But if I'd done it (but if he’d done it)

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

(He jumps back behind the others and the lights turn them all to silhouettes.)

THE MARAUDERS

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They had it coming all along (they took a child in their prime)!

REMUS (THE MARAUDERS in parentheses)

I didn't do it (and then they used it) -

But if I'd done it (and they abused it) -

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

(The lights suddenly all blink out. When they come back on, the others spin in pairs in set positions like statues, silhouetted in the background as Regulus blinks up into the spotlight.

Mcgonogall swallows.)

REGULUS

I loved Amir Levis

More than I can possibly say.

He was a real bookworm -

Sensitive, a wonderer.

But he was always trying to find out my secrets.

See, he'd stay up every night looking for me,

Me and our magical little daughter.

(An accident, let me tell you.)

And while he was looking, he found:

My wand.

My family’s letters.

My stolen Horcrux.

And my Dark Mark.

I guess you could say we separated

Because of a difference in foresight.

He saw me as a murderer coming for our daughter -

(From behind, Peter dips his head back and wails, “SECTUMSEMPRA!”)

And I saw him in the way.

(Regulus smirks and ducks back into the dark. The lights start up their flashing again, all of the Marauders tugging at each other back and forth.

Suddenly Peter is thrown forward, dirty teeth spreading in a grin.

Mcgonogall whimpers into her hand.)

PETER

I never really had a home anywhere.

Didn’t fit in, was always the outcast.

That is - until I met my Marauders.

You know them as murderers, of course.

The evil, the despicable, the unforgiveable.

The Dark Lord’s most ardent and deadly followers.

But I know them as friends. Family.

The ones who didn’t say they would kill for me,

But actually did.

(Peter grins and turns his back to the students.)

And I killed for them.

Oh, did I kill for them.

Piles and piles of bodies, scores and scores of secrets…

So much pain. So much death. So much… betrayal.

(Peter whips back around, grinning madly.)

Funny, isn’t it?

Betrayal is defined as a violation of someone’s trust.

A broken promise.

An act of the utmost disloyalty.

But I betrayed thousands for the only six people in this world I was truly loyal to.

Betrayal, betrahyal.

There’s still so much pain.

So much torture, so much torment, so much terror, and then…

(From behind, Sirius shrieks, “AVADA KEDAVRA!”

Peter’s grin twists into a snarl and he spits.)

So much death.

(A student lets out a loud cry. Peter cackles and snaps back with the other Marauders, all of them moving forward and backward and sideways in sync now. All of them have their sleeves pulled up so their Dark Marks, pledging their lives to the most vicious pureblood cause there is, are out for all to see.)

THE MARAUDERS

The dirty blood, blood, blood, blood, blood!

The dirty blood, blood, blood, blood, blood!

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They had it coming all along!

Cause if they used us (cause if they used us) -

And they abused us (and they abused us) -

How could you tell us that we were wrong?

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They had it coming (they had it coming)!

They only had themselves to blame (they only had themselves to blame)!

If you’d have been there (if you’d have been there) -

If you’d have seen it (if you’d have seen it) -

I betcha you would have done the same!

(The Marauders all suddenly still and disperse, slinking like snakes back into the shadows.

Their voices fade as they do.)

LILY

You cry one more time, little one…

JAMES

Best friends, my ass…

SEVERUS

Ten times…

SIRIUS

Rouge, rouge, rouge…

REMUS

Fucking bit me…

REGULUS

In the way…

PETER

Betrayal, betrahyal…

(The Marauders’ mad grins shine from the dark long after the hallway has emptied of terrified students. They stay there, staring, as Mcgonogall takes shaky steps towards the door.)

REGULUS

Sectum…

PETER

Avada…

SEVERUS

Sempra…

SIRIUS

Kedavra…

JAMES

Imperio…

REMUS

Crucio…

LILY

Reducto…

(Mcgonogall reaches for the knob. The door slams in her face.

She gasps in surprise. From behind her there are snickers and giggles and cackles.

“Oh won’t you stay for a little while, Minnie?” Comes Sirius’ sugary sweet voice from the shadows. She turns with a pointed finger, but there is only black darkness.

Their laughs echo off the walls.

“After all… we are your favorite students.”)