#do we still use the term crack theory

[chokeonsordidmirth]

yall wanna hear my outlandish copia fan theory

escape the ministry spoilers below

so, in the tv room (nihil's room), there's a note saying that copia's tv usage has increased dramatically over the past week. realistically, this tells us two things: 1. copia is probably really depressed, and 2. the clergy is monitoring everything about copia. which theyve probably done with every papa. none of them were ever in control, it's always been the clergy. there's a lot more to read into there (and a lot in escape the ministry in general) but this post is about something much stupider.

depression and orwellian monitoring notwithstanding, we have a very clear connection with the tv to jesus he knows me and father jim defroque. jim defroque is a televangelist, he's the star of a wildly popular tv show and there's advertising for him literally everywhere. there's no way copia wouldn't have heard of him, especially if he's watching tv x hours a week. shots from the jesus he knows me music video are even playing on one of the tvs.

also in the main hall of the ministry there's a note from copia posing as a nameless ghoul (we know it's him because the note asks for juice boxes and theres hella juice boxes in his room) asking for a defroque sock. which is presumably jim defroque merch.

so we know that copia watches jim defroque and is apparently a fan. and then he goes on to cover a song about priests (jesus he knows me). and then he writes a song about priests (griftwood). and then he writes the lyric "i'll be the shadow, you'll be the light".

and i know this is not whats going to happen, all of this is completely silly, but... what if copia falls in love with jim defroque?

[applecherry108]

What if the Mastermind

is the merch narrator? 😂

[zaprowsdower27]

Project Esther

Okay, Jumblr, we all know about Project 2025, the roadmap the Heritage Foundation wrote for destroying the United States that Operative Krasnov and Mr. Apartheid are using to dismantle the United States.

Well, the Heritage Foundation has another roadmap, Project Esther. Their plan to "help us" by "combatting antisemitism". It even successfully identifies the nightmares going on on college campus "protests" as a problem that needs addressing. Unfortunately, that one sentence elevator pitch is the only sanity it has.

I know we don't trust Wikipedia, and for good reasons, but it's still unfortunately the best resource for summaries on things like this, and to quote the relevant article,

"The effort has received the support of a number of evangelical Christian but no major Jewish organizations. It has been criticized by journalist Steve Rabey for incorporating antisemitic tropes into its rhetoric, and by Slate and Haaretz for not addressing right-wing antisemitism.[1][2][3]"

and

"The project reportedly struggled to find Jewish organizations with which to partner, while sidelining those that do partner with it.[8][9]

The group has targeted eight "masterminds"—George Soros, Alex Soros, JB Pritzker, Angela Davis, Manolo de los Santos, Vijay Prashad, Neville Singham, and Jodie Evans—who it believes are at the center of progressive politics. The Soros family is the subject of a number of longstanding antisemitic conspiracy theories that match the language used by Project Esther.[10]"

To that I would add that not only are the Soros family a popular target of antisemitic conspiracy theory, but JB Pritzker is a popular and prominent Jewish governor who occasionally gets 2028 presidential speculation - and this is a sign that he will get the same antisemitic conspiracy theory as he becomes more prominent outside of Illinois.

So, its pretty easy to see where this is going. They're going to try to perpetuate antisemitism to take out prominent and/or powerful Jews, using opposition to a common enemy (actual antisemites) as a trojan horse to get us on-side.

Two important notes for this, one for each of the major Jewish populations.

1.

My fellow American Jews, we need to be very, very, very careful about this sort of divide and conquer, and choose our allies wisely.

We cannot afford to ally with the pro-Hamas nuts who want to kill American Jews but oppose the fascists, but we absolutely cannot afford to ally with the fascists who have established intent to try to use our fear of the pro-Hamas nuts to get us to subjugate ourselves and destroy of our own voices speaking out for us in favor of the "Jews should all go to Israel to be good little human sacrifices for our summon Jesus ritual" philosemites.

It's already begun in some ways - Operative Krasnov has broken the long-standing tradition of naming a Jewish-American to be Ambassador to Israel, naming a prominent Evangelical instead.

Keep an eye out for what shape their "cracking down on Antisemitism" takes - it may start with punishing openly pro-Hamas folks, but will move on to punishing Jews who don't fit their philosemitic caricature soon enough and if we get caught unprepared, we may not make it. We cannot afford to be surprised, and we cannot afford to either try to make it out of this alone or make allies purely on an enemy-of-my-enemy basis. We need to be prepared, we need to make friends, and we need to be as careful as humanly possible

2.

Israeli Jews, I'm begging you. Watch out for this, we WILL need your help with this. Your current insane government is allying itself to the fascists running America. This is convenient for you geopolitically in the short term, but please, for the love of Hashem, do not let them trick you about us.

The time will come, and its not too far off, when the current American regime tries to move forward with Project Esther and start declaring prominent American Jews who dare not toe the Evangelical Christian definition of what Judaism is line of being "antisemitic" and persecute us to as much of an extent as they can force the law to accommodate, and for the sake of geopolitics I fear that your government is going to back them up instead of fulfilling its promise to be a safe place to flee to and a voice of advocacy and protection for Diaspora Judaism.

We, the Jews of America, are counting on you, the Jews of Israel, to be our voice in Israeli Politics. When America starts implementing Project Esther declaring publicly that prominent Jews are the "real source of antisemitism" and trying to "protect the Real Jews" by persecuting actual real Jews. When your government responds by telling you your kin across the ocean are enemies and to be happy open nazis are oppressing us. When, soon, that day comes, we are depending on you to protest and advocate for us to the Israeli government to make sure it speaks out in our defense as our ancestral home and heart, rather than speaking out against us as a geopolitical ally of our persecutor. If for no other reason, then to make it legal for us to flee to Israel when all other options have been denied to us, to prevent the Israeli government from telling us to get fucked because by voting for Democrats in American Elections we were deemed "antisemites" unworthy of making Aliyah or whatever

This all sounds like conspiracy mongering. So did Project 2025. The Heritage Foundation is very real, very powerful, and very prominent - we cannot afford to take anything they say less than deadly seriously, and so we cannot afford to ignore Project Esther.

Am Yisrael Chai, and Am Yisrael Michpacha.

[maiarayavt]

Not that anyone's been asking me but I've been mulling over Book 8, and my far-fetched predictions are:

• Twisted Wonderland's Beauty and The Beast version, with the Prefect as Beauty and Grim as the Beast. Think about it, in Book 6, Idia (Ortho? Leona? Someone in Book 6 at least) says something about Grim's powers stemming from ancient magic. And wasn't the Beast's transformation into... well, a beast, from a curse from a witch? What if it's the same as Grim?

• When (If?) Grim overblots, he'll be thought of as the monster. We saw beforehand how his instincts become more animalistic/primal, with some people likening him to a chimera. He loses all sense of civility, and when he scratched us in Book 6, Crowley was all like "You have to remember, he is still a direbeast" and urged us to be cautious.

• And just like in Beauty and the Beast, where the townsfolk mob the castle to get rid of the monster, so will the students (or Sage Island's residents) demand that Grim be disposed of. Idk. My crack theory at this point is that he flees to Vargas' hometown and we get a twistunes version of Gaston's song lmao.

• The internships get postponed. Why? Because capitalism, that's why. From a business standpoint, it makes no sense for Twst to get rid of their characters when they're all so beloved by many all over the world, especially the third years. (Think of a world with no Malleus or Leona? Oh the in game purchases would tank lmao). Take note that this year alone, twst has been off the charts in terms of game popularity not just in JP but across the globe as well.

• If they managed to (SPOILERS!!) Kill Lilia and bring him back alive through the power of true love and BACK to NRC to go live with his sons just so they can milk more out of his character, then I think they'll find a way to keep everyone in the game with a healthy amount of screentime.

• PETER PAN EVENT PLEASE!!! Give me a hot Captain HOOK DISNEY PLEASE.

• New characters!! Maybe Chenya or Neige gets some love from the devs and we get RSA cards. Which leads me to the great NRC vs RSA spelldrive tournament! Though at this point I think this is already a given because why else would you introduce RSA.

• Please just make more women characters I'm begging 😭 Please make Elsa or Merida real in this world 😭

• The Dark Mirror will shatter into a million pieces and the Prefect gets stuck in twst because why not. They need our money and for them to do that, we (the players) need to be kept in the game for a looooonggg period of time.

• Sam's hometown event because why do the students get all the hometown events I want to see Port 'O Bliss too.

• Crewel's actual dogs will be paying us a visit. Why? for funsies. Maybe we'll get to see them bite Crowley's ass idk.

Anyway I'm so excited for whats in store!!! Hope one of these comes true lol especially Crewel's dogs I really want to see them 😭

[evilminji]

I... am haunted? By my Midi-chlorian theory?

Cause they are PROBABLY? Some sort of Symbiotic Bacteria?

Which was my theory. Cause "micro-organisms" is vague af? And doesn't exactly tell us what KIND? But it's probably not a mammal or some sort of fish? So like... helpful blood bacteria. Got it! No different then a good gut biome. Makes perfect sense!

Yeah, THIS one has? For some reason? A hyper sensitivity to fundamental forces of reality? But I mean? Monkeys with type writers, right? Something, somewhere, was bound to get it. Some organisms get better smell to survive, some get sensitive whiskers. The blood bacteria got jacked in to Reality's newsreel. Some low ranking admin privileges.

Still? Needs a HOST to survive though. Doesn't, itself, even really HAVE a brain.

Cause it's a Bacteria.

A Bacteria and... and Bacteria can be multiplied. Grown. Obviously? Midi-chlorians refuse to do so outside of a living body. Or the Sith and various other researchers, bother ethical and UNETHICAL, would have figured out how to crack Midi-chlorian development.

They ALSO? We can only assume? DO NOT mix. As in? Any Midi-chlorian's? Removed from the Original Host™ die off pretty promptly. (In time with the blood rotting or new body assimilating the fresh, donated, blood.) So you presumably, couldn't take from, say, Skywalker and give to an average farmer, and have that farmer become mildly force sensitive.

Even THOUGH? The BLOOD? Is where his Midi-chlorians are! So PRESUMABLY? So long as he and the farmer had compatible blood types? That SHOULD happen! Because Anikin his a SHIT TON of Midi-chlorian bacteria in his blood and the farmer would be receiving some of that High Production Strain.

Not saying the farmer would ever become a powerhouse. But? There should? Be a difference? Even if it was only temporarily.

Yet? It seems? Like Midi-chlorian strains? Just don't MIX. They split off, during development of a child, begin cultivation of their own unique colony, and never again! Shall the stains blend. I'd go so far? As to say? They probably ATTACK other Midi-chlorians in THEIR space.

Like part of the immune system. Disease, poison, parasites, and of course? Those filthy, FILTHY Other Midi-chlorian Colonies trying to encroach upon THEIR resources. Get! GET!

Which is where? All past attempts have FAILED. Because they? Had an END GOAL first, and they worked their way backwards. Approached it all with either preconceived notions or complete derision of the subject matter. Ignoring countless culture's collective MILLENNIUMS of knowledge on the subject. The observations. The notes. The folk remedies and early sciences.

Arrogant. Forgetting or outright dismissing. Because THEY were better. THEY were SMARTER. Surely, THEY would crack the code! Unlock the SECRETS of this MYSTICAL building block of the Force!

Achieve... POWER.

But? The thing IS? Primitive? Does not and HAS not? Ever meant stupid. It means young. New. Doctors and scientists, doing the best they could, with what they had. To help as many as they could. The Force? It was a mysterious thing. They knew the shape of it. The edges, but not it's depths. They could observe.

If they did X... Y occurred. Medicine A? Brought about B and C side effects, avoid it going forward. Use Medicine D. So forth and so on. Building upon the knowledge of the past.

But OH, THEY? Didn't have fancy modern medical technology! Didn't know the modern terms! So obviously they were superstitious idiots!

Thus, attempt after attempt. Failed. Usually with innocent people, paying the price. Because Power. Because Fame. Because they could rule the galaxy and go down in history books... if only these simple little bacteria would COOPERATE. But.... they don't. Do they?

Because you lack understanding.

You. Can Not. Remove Them. From The. HOST.

They DIE.

They can exsist in exactly ONE(1) environment. Their NATIVE environment. Where you found them? That's where they need to STAY. If you found them in a tree? The need to stay in THAT specific tree. Dirt? Well then! Dirt from THAT specific region of THAT specific PLANET. No moving! Cease! Desist!

Are the Midi-chlorians in a baby? The start up strains were donated! Congrats! THEY LIVE THERE NOW. They are now NATIVE to the BABY. Can not exsist OUTSIDE the baby! In fact, will immediately begin to die! Outside that baby!

This is WHY Sith Alchemy is so fucked up. Lots of live experimentation and forcing Midi-chlorians into statis. Body horror everywhere. No mas! It DOES NOT SPARK JOY.

Which?! That leads me to my point! The part of all this THAT FUCKING HAUNTS ME!!!

Bacteria can be multiplied if you give it the right food. Fuck, it WANTS to multiple. WANTS to go gangbusters. Just? Absolutely apeshit. Thick enough in the blood to turn it all into PASTE. It doesn't have a brain. It can't look around and think to itself "hey, maybe we should slow down, we're straining the environment".

It's bacteria. Ultimately, in the end, JUST Bacteria.

Yes, it may be the medium by which we connect to The Force... but IT itself? Has no intelligence to negotiate with. Just like the cells in your body. And JUST like the cells in your body? It can be a cancer. Could kill you, if something went wrong.

If SOMEONE, deliberately, made things go wrong.

All in the name of "Science".

Yes, once again, I consider the SI-OC, even as I consider Midi-chlorians themselves. What "feeds" such a bacteria? A healthy body, presumably. Connection to the Force? Kyber, most likely. Force powerful items. We know they "call" to those who are Sensitive. But! As we know? The part of your body that can actually FEEL that call? Is the Midi-chlorians in your blood, which then transfers the information to it's host.

It is the Midi-chlorians that want that specific Force object. In all likelihood, because it benefits them. That it benefits you? Is a lovely side effect. That is can be used for things? Neat! Good on you for figuring that out! It would still call you to collect pretty, shining, rocks, even if you couldn't use Kyber for SHIT. You would be COMPELLED.

NEED it.

It makes the Midi-chlorians inside you go Brrrrr. Mmm, yes, happy chemicals. Positive reinforcement! You should continue to do OTHER things that help the Midi-chlorians! Like meditation, eating well, and being around others! Go on! Hug that baby! Yeeeeeah, good energy makes LOTS of Midi-chlorian food! (Bad energy too. We are not picky. But that Does Not Feel Nice. So like.... why tho?)

So! Consider!

You have yourself an UNETHICAL AF scientist. The Board does NOT UNDERSTAND THEIR GENIUS etc etc. They have completely lost their shit. Unfortunately, they have money. And Slavery and desperation abound. There are ugly, UGLY pockets of darkness in this galaxy.

They? Have An Idea™! (It is a terrible, horrifying idea)

This scientist? Is going to crack the Secrets of The Midi-chlorian! Become Famous! It is a plot heard many times before, sadly. Just as sadly? SI-OC's parents, who were on their way to the temple, never make it there. Make no mistake! Good people. Upset, of course, that they will be losing their daughter. But? As all good parents do?

They made the decision they thought was best for their baby girl. A lifetime of being understood. Supported. Of stable food and safe beds. A good, quality education they would never be able to afford. Being able to help people someday. They love their daughter. Weep for losing her. But sometimes? Loving your child? Means letting them go.

Not forgotten. NEVER forgotten. But somewhere better then they could ever give her. Safe from those who would see their child in chains.

They do not make it.

But they do not go quietly. When those bastards come for their little girl. They make it cost dearly. Not dearly enough. Never, ever, enough. But one of the other passengers is able to get off the emergency beacon. So the Jedi will know. They will come.

It... it has to be... enough...

And it is.

And they do.

But it is not just a pirate attack. Not JUST slavers. No... no this is far more horrifying. Far worse indeed. The Shadow sent to rescue the child? Stumbles into a festering shitshow. The sort that takes a TEAM to unravel. The not-pirates are mercenaries, are closing in fast. He send his data in full, in one big lump as an emergency download.

Capture likely eminent. They're experimenting on Force Sensitives. Need Back Up.

Help.

The Doctor is, of course, DELIGHTED! An adult specimen AND a child! Comparisons and contrasts! They ramble on, unhinged, to the horror of the Shadow. Who's eyes are locked on the Crecheling in a cage. He knows help will come... but will it come fast enough?

No. Not really.

But what keeps HIM from falling? Is the Crecheling that needs to be taught. Ironic, in a way, that the very thing their capture demands and demands? Is what helps them escape, however temporarily, their cages. Meditate. They are told. Or else.

Surrounded by stolen artifacts of Light.

Meditate.

Meditate.

Imagine, if you will, a dialysis machine. It filters the blood, yes? Pumps it outside the body? A terrible process. Trial and error. How far is too far? At what distance, do the midi-chlorians begin to die? The doctor kills... so, SO many innocent. Not their prize specimens. Jedi are hard to get! But slaves? Easy enough.

The Shadow can not Fall, he reminds himself. Can not give in to his grief or rage. His horror, his sorrow. It... it is so hard. To remember the Light. In this dark place. But the Crechling helps. The kyber, the artifacts. When... not... Not IF! But WHEN he gets out of here? He thinks... he thinks he should retire. Being a Creche Master sounds lovely, to be honest.

Bright. Peaceful.

The doctor completes their horror machine. He can not stop them from putting on SI-OC. After all... HE is done growing. It filters the blood, you see. Nice and close to the body. Through and around Force rich materials, in medical grade tubing. Exposing the Midi-chlorians directly to the energy they feed off of. Filter in a mineral solution to use as building blocks.

It WORKS.

The midi-chlorians in SI-OC blood start multiplying far faster and too far greater concentration then ever before. Slowly but surely boosting their Force Sensitivity as they go. What a rousing success.

If it weren't slowly killing SI-OC.

Ever imagine? What would happen if someone reached over and slowly started turning up the sensitivity on your eyesight? Your hearing? Your taste, touch, the FEELING OF YOUR BONES? If every breath was sandpaper, and every thought an adrenaline rush?

Could you imagine? FEELING the galaxy BREATHE? Knowing for a fact that your body had been specially designed for a certain level of sensitivity? And you had been broken? Because someone wanted to see if you could handle HIGHER?

Power without the support structure? Burns everything down.

Just because something CAN be done? Doesn't mean it will work the way you fantasize it will. Reality is not a story book. Where Power comes in pretty little packages, to be bought or sold or stolen. Midi-chlorians were always Bacteria. And trying to fuck with your own micro-biomes for more power? Was always destined to end in death and disease.

For you. For someone else. For every innocent you dragged into it.

They scoffed at the "primitive" scholars who warned not to fuck with it, yet still treat it like its a mystical power to be seized.

The Shadows that finally track down the lab? BURN it wil a VENGEANCE. It is a place of horrors. And initiate SI-OC is very, VERY sick. They aren't even sure they can risk taking her to Coruscant. Too many people. Jedha? Probably safer. Luckily their library has something that...? MIGHT? Be able to help treat this?

SI-OC probably never stops Tasting Time™ and seeing the Pretty Colors™ but? At least she becomes? Largely functional? Probably needs a disability animal. One that's mildly force sensitive, so it knows when she's ~~drifting~~ again. Keep her from walking into traffic or off a landing platform.

The random bouts of prophecy and mind reading are a bit disconcerting, but like? Lay off! It's not SI-OC fault! Be nice! She can't help it! Don't be rude! D:< she basicly has tiny Force Nexus in HER BLOOD. So WHAT if she occasionally stops to admire a sunrise that hasn't existed for thousands of years? It's probably pretty!

The younglings? Very understanding. Adults are a bit creeped out. But like? Eh. Just EXTRA Jedi-y Jedi... they guess? (No, no not really. This one had a serious Force Incident. But like FUCK we're breaking rank to tell outsiders that sooooo..... Sure? Yeah. Let's go with that!)

Ironically? I bet? Anikin gets along great with her? They're team "WHY YES, THE FORCE IS VERY LOUD. WHY ARE WE SHOUTING? SO YOU CAN HEAR US! OVER THE FORCE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT THAT LOU-?". He got it naturally, she got it by getting fucked over. But? They can both go?

"Hey, you feel that thingy in the-?" *vague hand motion* and get a "oh YEAH! Wonder what's THAT'S about?". Does anyone else feel it? No. Is it obvious to THEM? Yes.

Will Anikin punch your lights out, if you mock his disabled friend? *boss music starts playing* R U N. Padme would help. Tag team, fuckeeeeer! *from the highbar with a steel chair*

Community is EVERYTHING. And sometimes? It's you, your secret wife, your brother-mentor-dad, the Clone army you adopted, and the perpetually Force High/Vaguely Brain Damaged jedi you call your best friend! And the droids. And your secret wife's body gaurd squad. And the younglings your friend-... actually? You know what? Your family's kinda big.

Awesome :)

@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @spidori @hdgnj @hypewinter @leftnotright @the-witchhunter @lolottes @mayfay

[agentsquirrelsgotrobots]

Cut tidbit from my Danny Phantom x Transformers au, that was too cute not to share

Ratchet groaned. His holoform was wearing a grubby Harvard sweatshirt and pj pants, his usual tidy braided bun messy and held together with pencils, a busted scrunchie around his wrist.

“Why. Are humans. SO DAMN COMPLICATED.” He moaned, looking up from his desk, his textbook leaving an indent on his protoform’s face. “I have all the information downloaded in terms of anatomy and theory and all the trivia you can imagine, can track vital signs without even touching a patient, but the surgical elements, actually doing my damn job, is the one thing I can only practice manually, and the worst part is, I have already maxed out my allotted unsupervised practice hours in the simulators for this semester. I got a warning from the dean to quote ‘stop risking your health and get some sleep’. I do sleep, I just don't need as much as humans to function. Thanks to the ground bridge, I can still do my job here. She already said that I am making the Dean’s list, whatever that is, and I am scoring in the ninety five to ninety eight range in all my assessments. However, those last five to three points evade me due to my less than stellar bedside manner. The professors even said that they are giving me undeserved slack, since my paperwork marks me as a retired army medic, but that they expect me to improve it for the next semester.”

“Ratchet. Did you just tell me that you are scoring ninety eights at one of the hardest medical colleges in the states, a premier Ivy League school, and the only thing that the professors are critiquing you on is that you are grumpy? That's a fucking incredible accomplishment for a full time student, and you have a job as the Chief Medical Officer of a whole ass army on top of it. Yes, I am aware that your current workload is smaller than usual, but you are still handling most of the paperwork on top of school work and making sure these tin cans don't die in the process. My man, take a goddamn bow, the fact that you still have the energy to complain is incredible.

“Yeah Ratch, just getting into an Ivy is a huge achievement, nevermind keeping near perfect grades.” Jack said.

“Hey, considering that my dream of working at NASA is out the door, it's nice to see someone I know going places.”

“Uh uh, I said that you aren't going to Nashville by yourself, not that you can't consult for NASA long distance under a pseudonym.”

“But I wanted to use the big telescopes and touch moon rocks! There were moon rocks, Ratchet!”

“And I want to not hear whiny children, but I guess neither of us are going to get what we want.”

Danny stuck his tongue out at Ratchet before disappearing into a wall.

Ratchet rolled his eyes, cracking a small smile as Optimus chuckled. :How are your wards always the sassy ones.:

:What do you mean, mine? You see more of him in a day than I do in a week, not for a lack of trying.:

:you are always checking in with the rbs and their liaison.:

: it's the only time I get to be a dinosaur because you don't like it :

: it eats through your fuel supply and erodes your joints. It's not good for you :

: But it's so cool.:

: remind me again how you managed to convince me to be your Amica?:

: By being your best and only friend since we were sparklings until you went to medical school. :

: Fair.:

The fic in question, updated today:

[caesarflickermans]

Hello, CEO of Plutarch Heavensbee! I have a question for you.

How do you think Plutarch knew about Latin/Rome?

To me, this quote has so many layers to it that NEED to be looked into: (still mad we arent getting a plutarch book) "It's a saying from thousands of years ago, written in a language called Latin about a place called Rome."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think any other character ever says anything about other languages/countries. We only get a brief rudimentary dump about 12/Appalachia and the history of how Panem was formed, but that's literally it. At no point in any time does anyone else really reference the old world -- and Latin comes from the old world even to people from today!

How do you think he managed to dig up history texts? Do you think he shared his knowledge with a lot of his allies (or enemies)? He was just explaining the quote to Katniss, he wasn't sitting down and giving her a lecture. Do you think he just knew about Rome specifically, or do you think he knew about other nations?

I tried looking up theories or even interviews with SC but I couldn't find much. (I also, very stupidly, googled "How did Plutarch know about Rome" at first without realizing that I would need many actual THG terms in the search to get things that are not about the actual Plutarch philosopher lmao. But now I have a crack answer: Plutarch Heavensbee is the reincarnation of Πλούταρχος.)

I received this ask before Sunrise, and am happy to report that my initial thoughts perfectly align with the new material:

The Heavensbee family maintains a monopoly on historical texts.

The prequel gives us room to speculate, particularly in relation to Trajan Heavensbee, whom Plutarch references as the sole ancestor "who has been of any use" (SOTR, 9).

It is no likely no coincidence that Trajan's portrait depicts him holding a book, that he presides as the owner of the Heavensbee library, and that his statue is featured within the Academy. The family's influence extends so deeply that they have a hall named in their honour within the Academy.

While arguments have been made that Trajan's title as "Father of Panem" suggests a founding father myth, I propose a different theory. To me, he might have been the architect of Panem's education and indoctrination system during the formative years of totalitarian rule.

Ballad introduced us to some characters who make occasional references to the past—Snow references ancient US cities, while Gaul directly names political thinkers. However, Snow references the burning of books to keep warm during the war, thus implying that Heavensbee's possession of a library is extraordinary. Additionally, I believe that historical revisionism—similar to the one revising the events of the 50th Hunger Games—necessitates eliminating historical texts to maintain the illusion of Panem's superiority.

Hence, I assume that the Heavensbee library is quite unique within the Capitol, as Trajan likely played a vital role in maintaining (and being allowed to maintain) the library, many families burned their books, and I take it that alike Fahrenheit 451 and historic parallels, controlling the past (Orwell) was a vital factor far before the 50th Games.

Collins' reference to George Orwell in particular have made me giddy for the sole fact that I've viewed the Capitol through that very lens for years, thus meaning that Plutarch's in-depth knowledge is a rarity, and that the Heavensbee family's access to historical texts were what allowed them to escape parts of the indoctrination.

[gi4hao]

a story of garden parties

neighbor!seungcheol x gn!reader

warnings: a vaguely implied mention of alcohol, lots of mentions of food, cheol taking his shirt off *bites lip*

your neighbor’s friends warned you: they’re often around. but that only means seungcheol always has room for one more person, especially if that person happens to be you.

march 24th, 11:41am

it’s the very last thing on your to-do list. something you only allowed yourself to do after cleaning your entire house and unpacking exactly thirteen full cardboard boxes: changing the nameplate on your mailbox. proudly admiring the way your family name states that this is, indeed, a house that now belongs to you, you feel a great sense of accomplishment rushing through your veins. of course you’re far from being done with moving in, but you have a feeling everything will go easy now that the hardships of paperwork are behind you.

on your right, the sound of footsteps and friendly chatters make you look away from your brand new mailbox. you count not one, not two, not even three people walking towards you, but seven. for a moment you wonder whether your neighborhood is something worthy of touristic visits… but watching these guys closely, you realize they’re all carrying food and drinks of various kinds, therefore eliminating the tourist theory.

you greet the group with a polite smile, and the seven of them utter scattered heys and hellos. only one of them actually speaks up:

“hi! are you the new tenant?”

“i am, yeah! i just moved in today. are you guys… neighbors of mine?”

they’re quick to inform you that none of them is actually living in this neighborhood, but that they’re all headed to your actual neighbor’s house, making the most of the sun to have a little get-together. a barbecue, specifically.

you’ve met your neighbor already, although only through hurried exchanges during your two visits of the place. he seemed like a nice guy, although you couldn’t quite remember right now.

“well, don’t hesitate to come and say hi! my name’s seungkwan, you might see us a lot around here if i’m being honest”, the same guy tells you, and you think they all must be pretty close to invite other people to each other’s houses.

may 20th, 1:30pm

“thanks!” you tell seungcheol as he hands you the drink you’ve been advised to try for months now, a creation straight out of joshua’s mind.

and indeed, you understand what the hype is about from the very first sip. you face translates your satisfaction, and causes seungcheol to crack you a smile.

“i needed that”, you admit, putting the glass down on the kitchen table. through the patio door, you get a perfect view of jeonghan trying his hardest to push mingyu in the pool. “thank you for inviting me by the way, it’s always nice to hang out with you guys.”

this is probably a more acceptable thing to say than the actual truth: that the main reason why you accepted the invitation was seungcheol himself.

“no worries, we like having you around”, he replies, getting started on his own drink. “is everything okay though? you seem a bit tensed.”

well, so much for trying your best not to look like you haven’t spent your entire morning having a breakdown over a multitude of sudden bad news.

you’ve gotten closer to seungcheol lately. the sunny weather brought many occasions for spontaneous conversations in your driveway, a few drinks at each other’s houses when the timing seemed right, and even a couple of parties. in other terms, you’re close enough to tell him when you’re feeling down, but maybe not close enough to always tell him why.

still, he’s always listened to you with a patient and reliable ear, making sure your interactions always felt comfortable for the both of you. but this sense of comfort is precisely the reason why neither of you seem willing to make a move.

you take another sip of your drink before answering: “i’m okay, nothing my beautiful new kitchen lights can’t fix.”

he chuckles, knowing you’re referring to the latest thing he’s done for you around your house. and his cheeks feel unusually hot. “well, feel free to ask if you ever need anything else. i don’t mind at all”, he smiles before walking around the kitchen table, motioning you to follow him outside.

your drink in hand as you step onto his wooden patio, you have to make a conscious effort to look away when he lifts his t-shirt over his head. lying on their deckchairs, minghao and jihoon are sharing knowing looks behind your back.

august 6th, 11:56pm

“am i even doing this right?” you ask, not really knowing whether you’re talking to yourself or not.

two hands come to rest on your shoulders, and you feel cheol leaving a kiss on the back of your head, making you instantly melt. “looks perfect to me”, he answers, looking at the chicken and vegetables sizzling on the grill.

you would take that as a compliment if it had come from anyone else, but since cheol has a tendency to believe that everything you do is perfection, you’re not really sure how much truth is behind those words.

so you pick up a slice of bell pepper with your fork, blow on it and turn around to feed it to him.

“perfect”, he confirms with a content smile, before leaning in to leave a kiss on your cheek.

behind him, you catch sight of seungkwan frowning in disgust: “don’t spread your cheesiness all over our food please. what if it’s contagious?”

reacting much quicker than you, cheol throws a towel that hits him right in the chest, all while simultaneously telling him to start handing around the plates.

“wow, someone doesn’t like to be called cheesy…”, you remark in an amused tone as you bring the first batch of food on the table.

“is it cheesy to say you’re the only one who’s allowed to say it?” he questions and pulls you closer for a kiss, fully knowing the answer to his own question.

sure, you guys might be a bit cheesy, but if you were to come up with an explanation, you’d say it’s just the natural release of months of pent-up affection. but everything feels so right now, and you can’t even remember the last time you felt alone, cheol’s presence and sturdiness being your safety net at every inconvenience in your life.

and as much as seungkwan and the others love to tease you for it, they’ll always cherish your fondness for each other, as long as it keeps on making their best friend the happiest man ever.

[firestorm09890]

it’s still very much a crack theory but if people are earnestly believing Demyx is the Master of Masters, why shouldn’t I lean into this one? anyway don’t take this very seriously

okay so

those lines from Ienzo’s character file where he says his childhood was extremely hazy, but his memories of Radiant Garden are perfectly vivid- ignoring how concerning it is that he considered his childhood over by the time he was in Radiant Garden, what you could take away from it is that he was from somewhere else before Radiant Garden that he barely remembers. I don’t think it’s just childhood amnesia (real term referring to how adults have a hard time recalling early memories) especially since Ienzo remembers his time in Radiant Garden perfectly clearly, it’s like a hard cutoff. Either way the implication he’s from somewhere else remains

And I'm willing to believe they'd put relevant lore hints in the character files because they DID do that for Demyx

Oh yeah, what is it that person used to say all the time? Something about a guiding key? Come to think of it, wasn't something guiding me?

anyway we know that traveling to a different world and a different time and losing your memories is a thing that can happen, thanks to khux. I don’t think Ienzo used an ark though, that’s been done already

Radiant Garden has some kind of connection to Daybreak Town, thanks to it also having arks, and a connection to Scala Ad Caelum, bc of the researcher attire staying the same, but we don’t know how. I’ve seen people theorize that RG is like a sister world to Scala, or the next step in the history of the same place, so RG is built on Scala which is built on Daybreak Town.

so here’s my shot in the dark that I’m choosing to believe until we actually get lore on how Radiant Garden is connected to those places: Missing Link era Scala had its apocalypse and somehow split into Dark Road era Scala and Radiant Garden (hey wait they’re both surrounded by water… curious), with the history of Missing Link being erased in both worlds. Ienzo was from ML Scala and… idk hid somewhere he shouldn’t have or something and he woke up way in the future in Radiant Garden and he didn’t get the Subject X treatment because 1) they found him before Xehanort was there and 2) he didn’t even tell them he couldn’t remember things. they just accepted that he wouldn’t want to talk about his past, he’s just a little kid who lost his parents

I’m calling it the Victorian Orphan Theory. and yes that is why I picked ML Scala, because Victorian Orphan Ienzo being REAL would be awesome

[corroded-hellfire]

Pretty Girl - Eddie Munson x Reader

Note: This is for my darling @munson-blurbs 💚 I told her that if she finished the big project she was working on in time, I would write her anything she wanted. Not only did she finish on time, but she did it damn near perfectly. I am so unbelievably proud of you, Bug. I’m always in awe of your intelligence and work ethic. I hope I did justice to what you wanted, and I hope you all enjoy it as well! Also, I hope that I used the academic terms I included correctly, but if I didn’t, we’re just going to ignore that lol

Request/Summary: Eddie × Bookworm!Reader where Reader is stressed because of a massive project she has to do. And she keeps talking about all of this academic stuff that makes Eddie's head spin. So he does what he does best: fucks his smart girl until she's dumb

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), oral f!receiving, slight daddy kink

Words: 2.4k

Eddie’s just hanging up the phone as you step into your shared apartment after a long day on campus. Letting out a huff, you drop your backpack down on the kitchen table, and books and papers come spilling out.

“Ugh,” you groan, running your hands down your face. Eddie frowns and walks over to the table as you slump down into a chair. 

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asks as he takes the seat across from you. 

With a sigh, you shake your head. “S’nothing.” Eddie raises an eyebrow and tilts his head. You can practically hear him asking if you really expect him to believe that. “Just school bullshit. You’d think people studying for their doctorate would be a little more serious than some people in my class. But you don’t want to hear me ramble on.”

“Uh, yes, I do,” Eddie says, leaning forward on the table. “You know I think it’s sexy when you talk all academic. My girl’s gonna have her PhD.”

The salacious wiggling of his eyebrows has you cracking a smile. Relenting, you sit up in your seat and begin to tell Eddie about the irritants you’ve been dealing with.

“So, we have to utilize these things called literacy based behavior interventions…”

Eddie rests his chin on his fist as he listens to you. He’s picked up a lot over the years and is able to identify so many more words that you say than he used to. Sometimes though, he still gets a little confused.

“Well, then that brought us to the Social Identity Development Theory…”

Nodding, Eddie is almost positive he knows what that is, but he doesn’t want to interrupt you to double check. 

“But after all this, he admits he doesn’t really understand qualitative vs. quantitative methodology! I have absolutely no idea how this man even became a BCABA.”

I know this one, Eddie thinks to himself. Board Certified Assistant Behavior Analyst.

“Then he kept saying ‘phenomenology’ instead of ‘pedagogy.’”

Now those, Eddie did not know. He can see you getting more riled up though, so he knows it’s time to intervene.

“Baby, baby, hey.” He reaches over and tugs on your hand, nodding for you to come over and sit in his lap. “It’s okay, you just need to relax.”

Reluctantly, you push yourself out of your chair and let Eddie pull you on top of him. The way he smirks up at you lets you know he’s about to get frisky even before his large hands slide up your thighs. Rough, calloused fingers dig into the plush of your denim covered legs. 

“I think my smart girl needs me to take care of her, doesn’t she?” Eddie pouts up at you. When you nod in return, your boyfriend removes one hand from you and brings it back down to deliver a harsh smack to your ass. “Use your words, baby.”

A whimper escapes your throat as you tighten your legs around his hips. “Yes, Eddie. Need you. Make me feel better.”

Tightening his grip on you, Eddie stands up from the chair. A squeal escapes you as you tightly wrap your arms around his neck. A smirk of satisfaction on his lips, he carries you into your shared bedroom. Gently, he lays you down and lets you get comfortable before he’s crawling on top of you. Eddie tugs on the hem of your shirt, and you sit up enough for him to slide it off of you. Then he works down your body, taking off every piece of clothing in his path. Moving back up your body, he goes to press kisses against your neck, but you stop him with a yank on his own shirt.

“Me too?” he asks with a chuckle. 

“Yes.” The adorable pout in your voice has Eddie acquiescing, stripping down so he’s just as naked as you are. 

“May I continue?” After letting your eyes slowly roam up and down his bare body, you give him a nod of approval. 

“You may.”

He chuckles and leans in and presses his lips against the juncture where your neck and shoulder meet. The kisses start off soft and sweet but turn wetter and needier as he moves down to your collar bones. Moving further down your body, he attaches his lips to the underside of your breast. It’s his favorite place to leave hickies on you and from the way his mouth is moving against the sensitive skin, you’re sure that’s what he’s doing now. 

As the first moans tumble out of your mouth, Eddie switches breasts to give the other one the same attention. Your hands tangle in the curls that are splayed out over your naked chest, your fingers coming up to scratch at Eddie’s scalp as he continues his journey down your body. His kisses trail down your stomach, to your belly button, then further and further down until he stops just shy of where you most want his mouth. 

“So needy,” Eddie says with a chuckle as your hips begin to move, looking for some sort of friction. You let out a whine and give a tug to Eddie’s hair. A guttural groan sounds deep in his throat. “Playing dirty, huh?”

“Need you so bad, Eddie,” you say through a whimper. The way you look down at him with wide, imploring eyes has his cock twitching between his body and the mattress. 

“Relax, my beautiful little genius. I’m gonna help you feel better.”

You’re not given a chance to respond as Eddie moves down and wraps his lips around your clit. One of your hands comes out of Eddie’s hair to grip the sheet you’re lying on.

“Fuck,” you moan. 

Eddie’s tongue expertly works over your clit, moving at the speed and pressure that he knows drives you wild. Using his hands to spread your legs even wider for him, he nudges his nose against your sensitive nub as he licks at your entrance.

“Jesus, baby, I’ll never get used to how fucking good you taste.” It’s not unusual for Eddie to take his time when he’s going down on you. He likes to ravish you, gathering every last drop from you that he can. The only reason he pulls away from your sopping pussy is to praise you on how sweet you taste or how wet you are for him. 

Now, Eddie’s taking even more care than normal to make sure you’re feeling good. Lazy strokes of his tongue over your clit pairs with him slipping two fingers into you. The moment he curves them up inside of you, he’s hitting that delicious spot that has you seeing stars. There are few things Eddie knows better than your body—it’s the only thing he’s ever actually enjoyed studying. He knows it as well as he knows his own body and is able to bring you to the brink on his terms and in his time. 

“M’close, Eddie.”

He knows without you telling him, though. You both know that. The way your walls clamp down around his fingers, the way your breaths hitch as you lose yourself in the feeling. With one last rub of his fingers against your inner wall, the wave of pleasure crashes over you and has you whining out your boyfriend’s name over and over again. 

“That’s a good girl,” Eddie coos as he works you through your bliss. As your moans subside, he slips his fingers out of your pussy and pops them into his mouth. “Mm, fuck, baby.”

“Eddie,” you whine, trying to catch your breath.

“What, my princess?” He crawls up your body and presses gentle, barely-there kisses along the column of your throat. “You already cock drunk? I haven’t even been inside you yet, sweetheart.”

“Y’make me feel so good.” Your hands reach up, grabbing at any expanse of Eddie’s pale skin that you can.

“I’m here, baby,” he assures you, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek.

“Wanna feel you.”

“Aw, does my pretty girl want my PhD?” Eddie teases with a smirk. “My pretty huge dick?” Before you have time to respond, he leans down and slots his mouth over yours, immediately licking into your mouth. Using his other hand, Eddie lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes inside.

Eddie’s mouth swallows your moans as you feel him stretch you out deliciously. Above you, your boyfriend meets your sounds of pleasure with his own at the feeling of sliding into the wet warmth of your pussy.

“Shit,” Eddie mumbles against your mouth. “So fucking tight. This is all you needed, right baby? Just needed your daddy taking care of you.”

Words seem too hard as Eddie pulls his hips back before thrusting back into you again and again. You’re dissolved to whining and whimpering in response to his question, which has him smirking down at you. 

“Mm, look at that,” Eddie muses as he grips your hip. “I may not be a genius like you, baby, but this I’m pretty good at. Fuck my smart girl ‘til she’s dumb.” Not only does Eddie know what to do to your body, but he knows just the words to say to get you hurtling towards another orgasm. 

Every generous inch of Eddie moves inside of you, the ridge between the head and shaft dragging against all the spots that have you arching your back. A strong hand slides up from your hip, making sure to caress every inch of skin it comes across as it makes its way up to your mouth. 

“Open up.”

Immediately, you do as you’re told, and Eddie slips two fingers into your mouth. Not needing to be told what to do with them, you begin to run your tongue around his fingers, swirling it around the tip as you soak the digits.

“God damn it,” Eddie says with a huff of laughter. “You’re gonna make me cum before I want to. Gotta get my girl off again, first.”

A small smirk on your face, you release his fingers with a pop. He reaches down and rubs his fingers over your clit, eliciting a breathy moan from your lips.  

“That feel good, baby?” Eddie goads.

“Y-Yes,” you stutter, your eyes closing in ecstasy. 

“Want you to cum for me again, my good girl. Think you can do that?”

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “So close.”

“Cum on my cock, baby. Want you to make such a mess of me. Cream my cock.”

“Fuck,” you groan, fingers digging into Eddie’s back as his thrusts become sloppier, a tell-tale sign he’s close as well. “Want you to cum too, Eddie.”

“Oh, don’t worry, princess,” he says with a laugh. “‘Bout to cum so hard in your pretty little pussy. Gonna fill you up so, so good. You’ll feel me dripping out of you for days.”

“Shit,” you hiss, and Eddie picks up the pace on your clit. “Fuck—E-Eddie, I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m coming.”

The clenching of your walls around his cock has Eddie losing his composure, groans and mutterings of your name falling from his tongue. 

“Shit, baby—m-me too.”

Your bodies move together as the two of you ride out your highs with each other. Eddie’s head drops down and buries into your neck as his body stills on top of yours. Reluctant to pull out of you, Eddie busies himself by pressing sweet kisses against your skin.

“How was that, my love?” Eddie whispers against your ear.

“Was perfect,” you tell him, a lazy smile on your face. “Don’t want you to move.”

Eddie chuckles. “Me neither. But I was thinking we could get all comfy and I’ll hold you as close as you want me to.”

“Can’t get much closer than we are now,” you point out, making Eddie laugh again. 

“Good point. I’m gonna get us cleaned up though, okay?”

Eddie forces himself to get out of the bed and brings back a warm washcloth. Gently, Eddie cleans you up before working on himself. He leaves the room to throw the washcloth in the hamper, but you figure he gets sidetracked because he takes longer than expected. When you see him balancing a bowl of popcorn and two bottles of water as he walks back into the room, you see why. He sets the snack down on the bed and rolls one of the water bottles your way.

“I was thinking,” he says, turning his back to you and walking over to the television resting on your dresser. “We should watch a movie.” It seems like he already had one in mind as he plucks one from your small pile of VHS tapes. Eddie pops the tape into the VCR and strolls back over to the bed. He holds the popcorn bowl so he doesn’t knock it over while he gets situated. As soon as he lifts his arm, you’re cuddling up into his side. Sweat sticks to both of you even after you’ve cleaned up, but you tuck yourself into Eddie’s side regardless. He places the bowl of popcorn on his thigh closest to you as you rest your head on his shoulder. The familiar sweet scent of your strawberry shampoo brings a smile to his face and a feeling of warmth and comfort settles over him. 

“Oh, you put Tommy Boy on!” Your face lights up in glee as you point to the television, as if he didn’t know that you were referring to the movie on the screen. 

“I know how much you love it,” he says, a smile on his face at how happy it made you. 

Cuddling up to his side, Eddie grabs a few pieces of popcorn and holds them up to your mouth. Giggling, you eat them out of his hand like a horse being fed hay. The two of you lazily feed pieces to one another as you watch the movie. When the bowl is empty, you nuzzle your face into Eddie’s neck. The smell of sweat, weed, and his minty shampoo floods your senses and has you more relaxed than you’ve felt in days. Only a few minutes later, Eddie can feel your breath against his neck as it comes out in long puffs. A smile grows on his face at the realization that you’ve fallen asleep.

Carefully, Eddie moves the empty bowl of popcorn to the bedside table and slowly maneuvers himself so he's laying down, keeping you held in his arms. He pulls your body as close as he can, keeping his promise of holding you as closely as you’d like.

“Goodnight, pretty girl. I love you.”

[petermorwood]

Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)

Long ago, @dduane and I had a Whirlpool combi microwave - micro, grill, fan oven - and It Was Great, big enough to use as a proper oven when what needed cooked in a proper oven was small enough that powering up the big proper oven in the cooker was a bit much.

Still with me...?

IIRC it was one of those Christmas presents where Mum, ever-practical, told us; "get yourselves something really useful but not too expensive (I did say practical!) and I'll go halves."

In 2016, after something like 15 years of pretty-well daily use for one thing and another, the old thing expired by stages, micro first, grill second, oven last - it made great bread up until the end - and went to recycling heaven.

*****

We couldn't find a one-for-one replacement (we needed a free-standing counter-top appliance, everyone was selling built-in), so until once was available (optimism) we bought an ordinary microwave.

NB, this and its successors were only used for ordinary microwave things like reheating, defrosting and dealing with freeze-cook stuff. They got nothing like the amount of use of the old combi, mostly because of being incapable of doing a lot of it. As things turned out, this didn't help much.

About eighteen months later, we had to buy another. If a microwave's enamel interior develops a crack (to this day I don't know how), moisture gets in, rust begins and the enamel pulls off the bare metal. That's when you get "sparking".

This demo is deliberate; believe me, when it's unexpected it's even worse.

A private welder show or lightning storm at the end of the kitchen counter when all you want is a hot cuppa is distinctly unsettling. Also, it's only going to get worse, and we could imagine - boy, could we - what "Much Worse" might look like.

To the recycle dump!

(NB, micros with stainless steel interiors don't seem to do this, probably because they're already tuned to deal with the bare metal.)

The replacement, another ordinary micro, Just Up And Died after eighteen months and, guess what, the quote for a check-up and replacements-if-required was as much as the price of a new one.

(Inkjet printers seem to operate on this principal too.)

To the recycle dump again!

We got a third new one (which BTW is still running just fine, because it's been downgraded to Extra, read on), totalled up what we'd spent on ordinary microwaves, said a few well-chosen words about planned obsolescence and the "Vimes 'Boots' Theory of Economic Inequality" and got ourselves a pre-pay credit card whose top-ups were dedicated to Get A Combi Again.

We didn't bother with GACA baseball caps.

That would have been silly.

I don't know if these cards exist in the USA; we treat them as the modern version of a piggy-bank...

...except that to get at the money you need two people acting in accord.

*****

And in 2021 we got one.

Okay, this next bit is going to read like an ad.

It isn't, because the appliance is discontinued. (Whirlpool FINALLY do something similar but not identical.) It's just enthusiastic users discovering there's even more to a gadget than expected.

*****

The New One even bigger than the old one, which had 28 litres capacity; the new one was 33 L (was .99 ft³, is now 1.16 ft³). In non-tech terms, wow, More Room To Cook In.

Reading the figures was no help (to me, anyway) in visualising what a maw the thing had, but opening the door did that and no mistake.

I said something to DD about "bite radius"...

...and she instantly responded with "anyway, we delivered the bomb".

We're a quotesy household. ;->

BTW, The New One does a very good job on seafood, too...

*****

Since we got this, almost exactly two years ago, we've used it from reheating tea to roasting meat to making chilli / goulash / stew / curry (you can run the oven / grill separately or add simultaneous zaps of microwave for much less cooking time) to baking bread.

One of the best things about it is that when the set cooking time is done, the appliance switches off automatically. No risk of busyness, absent-mindedness or out-in-the-garden-ness ending in clouds of smoke, ruined food and possibly even worse.

As for breadmaking, it has a dough-rise setting which is a Time Machine, reducing a two-hour "doubled in size" rise time to about 35-45 minutes...

It also has the most reliable Defrost Butter setting either of us have ever encountered, turning a rock-solid butter brick from the freezer into something spreadable while never - to date - doing the "never mind a butter-knife, give me a spoon or a paintbrush" thing.

*****

However...

There's also a "Chef Setting" where there are some simple recipes. Here's the pastry page.

Basically, you assemble and mix the ingredients, input the correct settings and the machine does all the timing, heating and cooking.

We'd never used this until yesterday, when DD said, "Let's try the sponge cake..."

Yes, this post was entitled "Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)..." and here we are...

We did all the measuring correctly and checked it by pouring the mixture into a baking container while on the scale, wondering betimes why the recipe says 900g, the ingredients total 925 and what actually poured into the container reads 906... Weird. Really weird.

Then we put the container into the oven, entered the correct code, and let things do what they were going to do.

A little later we discovered something else about the recipe besides a weight anomaly.

It didn't mention the required size of the container. Or or how much the mixture was likely to rise.

It rose...

Let's say more than we expected...

The fluted ceramic container used for baking this one makes it look like a Vesuvius cupcake; not quite a pyroclastic flow, but a lot of flow regardless.

Once it cooled we separated the sponge-cake from the escaped sponge in the same way as sculptors work with wood or marble - "Chip away everything that doesn't look like a cake" - and found that despite its misshapen looks, it tasted pretty good.

So today DD made another, this time using a larger container.

...and this time it stayed put until removed using the cunning base-and-lifting-straps of baking parchment.

It's not the loftiest or best-risen sponge cake either of us have ever seen (a smaller-diameter higher-sided container would probably deal with that) BUT if there's something needing sponge cake in a hurry - this went from cupboard ingredients to done and cooling in less than 55 minutes - that treatment seems to fit the bill.

We're now wondering what other secrets lurk in the simple recipe pages; falafel, quiche Lorraine, stuffed peppers, even Flammkuchen* from scratch.

(*Though I have my own views about Flammkuchen, mostly involving a plane flight...)

And we'll be paying a lot more attention to what size of dish we put them in. :->

[thekinglemingle]

Have I ever discussed my only semi-crack theory that Adolin and Maya are going to form a reverse Nahel bond.

I think Sanderson knows that making Adolin a Radiant would be a mistake. The whole point of his character is that in a family of amazing people, he is just Ken. Similarly RoW stresses the importance of Maya's decision to forsake the original Knight's Radiant. This hurt her deeply, but she still thinks it was the right decision.

It would betray both Adolin and Maya's character arcs to have Adolin become a Radiant with Maya as his spren. But on the other hand, there clearly is a bond between them forming, this was how Maya was able to speak in RoW, and both their character arcs need to go somewhere.

Throughout Stormlight, we are repeatedly shown that this new version of the Knight's Radiant is not falling into the same structures and rules of the old one. Lift uses Cultivation's investiture rather than stormlight. The Skybreakers are no longer allied with the other orders. The Lightspren are bonding Listeners rather than humans. And Renarin demonstrates that Nahel bonds are possible that put you outside the 10 traditional orders.

What do we actually know about the Nahel bond?

The Nahel Bond allows a cognitive being to maintain their mind while manifesting in the physical realm

The Nahel Bond requires cracks in a spirit web, which it fills with the ability to utilise investiture

Has it ever been stated in canon that the bond has to be between a physical being and spren? I think not. In fact while researching this post, I found this WOB, stating that a Spren could bond with another Spren.

There is a tendency to assume that the relationship works in terms of "Spren get anchored in the physical realm and in return humans get surgebinding" but it's not actually reciprocal like that. Neither side is giving these abilities to the other, they are a natural side effect of the bond. Syl can't control when and how Kaladin gets his powers, it's based on how closely their goals are aligned and she can't use them without him. And the hypothetical spren-spren bond demonstrates that giving a human/listener powers is not a requirement of a bond.

My theory is that the bond forming between Adolin and Maya will go in the opposite direction to the ones seen elsewhere in the Cosmere, filling the cracks in a Spren's spirit web rather than a human's. I don't have a clue about what this will mean for the two of them.

Will Maya get new abilities as a result of this? I suspect so

Will they be weird and warped versions of the normal Edgedancer powers in the same way that Renarin has distorted Truthwatcher powers? I expect so

How will this affect Adolin? Not a clue. Though the idea that Maya could summon him as a blade in the cognitive realm is too hilarious not to consider. And there's something oddly fitting in the idea that he loved swords so much he became one.

[disgr-aced]

"I never touched a code"

Okay so we're all assuming codeflippa is responsible for the corruption qslime is going through. But. But but but.

qslime never knowingly touched a code. But yknow who did? Yknow who did very much did, and who also died to a code?

Gegg.

(no nonono wait stay with me for my completely legimate and not at all fever-dream-fulled theory)

I'm just throwing it out there that having an entity like that live in your body, take it over, gradually force control, and then die might have some longer term effects that we're only now starting to see.

Buckle in, we're entering crack theory territory.

It was glitchy, but right at the end of the Monday stream, I think qslime said there was something rotting inside of him. And that's such an interesting choice of words because that's what dead things do - rot. That's what corpses do.

Now, qslime isn't dead. That's not what I mean. But if Gegg was truly alive (he was) and had two little egg lives (he did), and truly died at the election dinner (perhaps), that means he died using qslime's body. A body that is still around, alive, but perhaps still holding a part of it that used to be Gegg, a part that is now dead. Rotting.

(Also it hasn't passed me by that twice now a Gegg has been killed in front of qslime, and both times he's said (in a panic) something like "no wait stop, he's a part of me". More death, more of his body dying.)

And his body can't deal with that, it can't reconcile the two completely true but mutually exclusive facts that qslime is alive, and qslime is dead. It's a paradox. An impossibility. A glitch, which if ran in a computer script would throw an error but this isn't a script, this is a living breathing person.

His cells are being given two instructions: you are alive, and you are dead. And because they physically can't be both, they do a secret third thing and glitch out.

The slime bits of his body have been the first to glitch. And we know that Gegg was a very slimy little boy. So it makes sense for these bits, the bits that composed Gegg, were the first to corrupt.

That's it. That's all my thoughts on the matter. Codeflippa apologists here's how we can still win. Goodnight.

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

What R# Means: The ABC's of Fear.

The grading system used by the OIAR is one of TMAGP's more central mysteries. The show is rife with administrative work that's obfuscated even to the employees that assign each case's rating.

I have my own theory about DPHW that I think is proving more and more likely each episode, but as of yet I don't think a comprehensive theory on CAT# or R# has been given. CAT# is still proving a hard to crack but I now think I can take a strong stab at the meaning behind R#.

Spoilers for TMAGP 1-7 below the cut.

For the people who aren't keeping close track of this I'll break down how those terms are used. Each incident the OIAR assesses is assigned a case number in the following format CAT#R#DPHW. CAT, short for Category, is assigned a value of 1, 2, 3, or any combination of those three digits (12, 13, etc.). R, short for Rank, are graded C, BC, B, AB, A, or S (potentially AS but it's not come up). For DPHW each letter is a category itself and replaced with a digit from 0-9 for its grading. So there are 6 separate statistics that the OIAR uses to assess each incident.

If I'm correct about DPHW it's a ranking based on the qualities the incident presents. That's obviously very valuable information. Because of how CAT# is formatted we know it's likely three non-mutually exclusive facets. I had some idea about what it could be but it's proving quite tricky to nail down.

However it's R# that is the topic of today's post and it's something I've had a few ideas on before. We know can assume from its formatting it's a linear scale. C is the "worst/weakest/etc." while S is the "best/strongest/etc.". Initially, I thought that R# was simply a straight forward ranking of potency or threat. Higher the rank, spookier the incident. Very early on that seemed like a strong idea. It was quickly disproven but I then had the idea that Rank was instead the scale of the effect. Higher the rank, wider the incident. Also quickly disproven.

Now I'm thinking it's graded on how hard it is to deny an incident's supernatural nature. Simply put, an outside observer can more readily find a believable rational explanation for an incident of lower rank than of higher rank. Either via their own conviction to believe the supernatural isn't real, or based on the story the OIAR cooks up to explain it.

For that to make sense it needs to tick two boxes. It needs to be able to be pre-assigned to an incident as all CAT#R#DPHW's seem to be, and it needs to be useful information to track. As they're operating under the assumption that CAT#R#DPHW's can be pre-assigned then they're operating under the assumption that each type of incident is relatively stable. Meaning that the likelihood that it can be rationally explained is also relatively stable. Tick 1. There is also a really strong reason for the OIAR to use this as a grade. They're the Office of Incident Assessment and Response, the Response Department might be dead but it was a part of the initial plan. Grading each incident on how likely they are to cause concern should the details go public is very useful for deciding how to approach any given case. Tick 2.

It being useful is all well and good but it does also need to have some evidence so let's look at our highest ranked incident to this point: CAT23RAB2155 - Transformation (Eye) -/- Trespass. A man grew eyes over his body. That's pretty tricky to explain away as a medical mystery. On the other end of the scale we've got CAT2RC1157 - Dolls (Watching), or CAT2RC3338 -Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation†. Just a creepy doll and some crappy antiques. I think of all the incidents the one that's the least immediate fit is CAT3C7494 - Collection (Blood) -/- Musical. Most of that incident is very easy to slot in here. "It's just a violin that has sharp strings, so what?". But it's also a violin that made some people eat some other people. However, mass hysteria events do get reported every so often IRL and do have a very long history. So in the grand scheme of things I don't think the details of the event are necessarily all that outlandish. It's really in the realms of urban legend and witch hunts than it is definitive proof of the supernatural.

With all that out the way this is the broad strokes of how I could see this breaking down. C ranks are things you can entirely write off as urban legends, freak accidents, and stress. Potentially things that might not need any covering up at all. I think the majority of events people could entirely say didn't happen will end up in C. "Of course the doll wasn't watching you, dolls aren't alive". B ranks are things that are harder to entirely discount as things that happened but are themselves still relatively easy to excuse as mundane. "Sure, the circumstances of that blogger's disappearance are strange but people go missing all the time, doesn't mean a monster did it". We don't have any A ranks but given the AB rank we do have I'd say A's are things in which no rational explanation can account for it, and as such require more extensive covering up, if it indeed happened. "Okay, maybe the supernatural is real because people don't just grow eyes like that".

As I mentioned early, an S rank does exist. We've not seen this attributed to anything in the show yet and so it might prove to be a special case. However on Klaus' sheet‡ from the ARG it's attributed to an interesting incident. A CAT1RS[No DPHW] with the note Mr. B. And, well, if you know, you know.

From Klaus' sheet we also know that the higher ranked incidents happen less often than lower ones and that idea generally tracks with what we know of TMP and TMA. The supernatural tends to be something you can explain away. It often is explained away. Incredibly overt manifestations are a rarity.

This one will be a slow burn to see if it bears out. Much like with DPHW's it's only really interesting when things go against the theory. I'm not as certain on this one as I am the DPHW theory but I do think it's got legs with our current data.

† This did also feature people who seemed to erase their physical features from your memory after you interacted with them. This isn't something I mention in the theory because it's not taken into account by the header and case number. A major flaw in the OIAR's methodology here is that all incidents are only ever one thing. So the case number is based solely on the presence of lots of miscellaneous objects, rather than the mind-wiping people carrying them.

‡I have made an incident master doc here, containing all the current cases, their CAT#'s, R#'s, DPHW's, etc. It has about as much information on each as I think is reasonable, including who narrates it, a link to its episode, and any other relevant notes, as well as headers for incidents we didn't hear. Additionally it also contains the Klaus sheet (German and English) and links to it when an incident matches. It will be updated each episode after the episode is publicly available.

[invested-in-your-future]

I finally witnessed a person claiming V3 potential (namely character separation) was used properly by the Volumes that followed...

"But the show did separate them."

Yes, and in terms of character arcs, that didn't matter at all.

The time away wasn't spent to develop them, make them grow, or explore the setting more.

Ruby plays second fiddle to Jaune's growth and looks vaguely annoyed in the background for multiple Volumes, getting such brilliant subplots like "you need to learn to punch people!". There's zero focus on the moral dilemma she should absolutely have after V3, zero focus on her deteriorating emotional state and trauma. Because Jaune has to get that first.

Weiss is mostly offscreen, rehashes what we already know, and returns. Now, I get that they haven't decided what Atlas would be at that point (flying Atlas is absolutely a retcon), but they still could have developed her home life more, set up Jacques as more of a villain, and had Weis reflect on her privilege.

Blake spends time away on a pointless trip to Menagerie with Sun because they need to create plausible deniability for their queerbaiting, then declares that "achshually it's the Faunus fault because we are so destructive; look, buildings are burning," and then the Faunus discrimination subplot is outright dropped and Blake is just a background object.

Yang spends some time staring at things, then gets told by a sexual harasser professor (voiced by a sexual harasser) that she should shut up and stop moping because it's like the fear of mice. There's zero focus on her disability, on her trauma, on her flaws, zero exploration of how aimless her life is, nor how her what happened had made her cheerful facade crack.

It's no better when it comes to character interactions on reunion:

Ruby upon reunion is fundamentally the same character, and her issues continue to be ignored for another FOUR seasons till in Volume Nine her grief and flaws get vilified, the show implying anyone dealing with mental wellness issues is evil and should ego-death themselves. Her idealism being challenged by the world is never addressed; her eyes or her mother and her false beliefs about her mother are never addressed.

Weiss upon reunion is fundamentally the same character. She hasn't grown, she hasn't changed, she hasn't matured, she hasn't overcome anything. Her dynamic with the team is exactly the same. The separation did nothing.

Blake and Yang are the worst offenders in this. These two left the V3 with a lot of hurt, despair, and anger between them, as Yang blamed Blake for leaving her without saying a word (especially with Yang's abandonment issues being a big thing), and there's clear relationship development that could happen. Instead, the show ignores it all when they reunite. They haven't grown; they haven't faced their shared trauma; they haven't grown as people; they haven't grown closer together nor further apart. The separation did nothing.

The team dynamics haven't changed, and the characters haven't grown as people nor grown apart due to thematic division that should be apparent within the story after V3.

Because the show is too busy having them go on McGuffin quest! And having Ruby walk through a forest watching Jaune develop! And wasting the whole Volume just to set up one of the most disappointing mecha fight that trivialized the oceanic Grimm! And having Ozpin's backstory be something that is so anti-climactic, the characters' reactions to it end up making zero sense! And focusing on Jaune!

And then V9 comes and the show decides to do some ableism and insult the entirety of mental wellness and psychological theory by deciding to vilify trauma and proclaim that people shouldn't change or face their flaws and mistakes because if they do they are evil and should ego-death themselves.

Tell me again how the pivotal moment at the end of V3 actually did matter and actually led to growth and was used to its full potential instead of being ignored in favor of vaguely religious retcon and Jaune focus.

[votederpycausemufins]

And here's my Evil X gemcyt design sheet thing. I already posted the Xisuma one, so check that one out too.

the whole gemcyt au got kicked off by @chrisrin so make sure to check out their stuff and all the stuff they reblogged if you haven't already.

Another version of the sheet above but with more notes on and for it is below the cut.

Alright! I had a lot of fun figuring Evil X out, probably bc of him being one of my blorbos.

Evil X has a lot of 'theories' surrounding what he is and I've seen some variations. He and X are siblings, they're X's clone, he's a glitched version of X, they're X's hels. etc etc. And so trying to figure out what to do for him.

While I already borrowed sweetest-honeybee's design in the second part of my Zed/WM gemcyt post, I didn't want to do like that and make him corrupted. I know the gemcyt stuff seems to play with corruption a little looser, but it still didn't feel right. So, I went researching and found a fun lil mix that seems to fit well.

First off, the closest thing you can get to a glitch in terms of gems is being off-color. I mean technically you glitch when you're cracked, but we're not doing that. Anyway, off-color gem Evil X, which is why there's the gem comparison. Next, the clone/hels part. I don't mention it on the sheet, but specifically, I think of this Evil X as a sort of gem experiment. No wait wait don't leave let me explain!

We saw that there were gem experiments of some type on the show. They were more fusion experiments using shards, and were experiments for the cluster (which technically don't work since they only emerged slightly before the cluster so there was no telling if they worked and if then the cluster would work). Also on the show, we're told that there's a resource problem on Homeworld which results in 'Era 2' gems like Peridot, who don't have all the abilities a normal gem would have. Also also in the show, when Steven and Lars are with the off colors on Homeworld, we see the kindergartens there. And while there are normal holes, there are also holes that overlap, as well as holes that look like there's been a chunk scooped out of them.

The analogy I could think of was like when you're making cookies. you roll out the dough, get a cookie cutter, and get all the cookies, but assuming you weren't using a square cutter, there's extra dough left between the cuts. Instead of just leaving it, usually you reroll it to cut out more cookies. Well, why can't Homeworld try the same?

Evil X is meant to be an experiment on if Homeworld can successfully do that. They scooped out extra rock from a kindergarten or two, compressed it into a new boulder, then used an injector on it. Eventually after a long while, out came Evil X. And that whole thing also leans into the clone thing because I imagine some of the scooped rock was from part of where Xisuma emerged.

Anyway, with all that, I originally thought about making Evil X look similar to Amethyst's pseudo buff reformation, but trying to draw that was a mess. I meant to go back and make him look a little more lopsided, but you'll have to just imagine that. Whoops. At the very least he has the funky stripes. I imagine that's probably from where the different rock pieces met or something, and since it wasn't as solid as regular rock, he was like that.

Coloring him was tough, but eventually I just copied Xisuma over, inverted his colors, and then shifted the hue to be more red. I considered making the green parts more black, but it didn't fit, so they're just more purpley to show that Xisuma connection or smthn.

Speaking of his gem, I show what I picture a normal Cuprite to look like. Meanwhile Evil X's is a bit misshapen, as well as that darker area that mimics the one reference I had. specifically that darker bit is chrysocolla, but he's still just cuprite.

Instead of a mask, he's just got a visor similar to what we've seen with Peridot and Doc and technically those zircons. And also instead of a mask he has those... blade things. Look, the best name i could find for them were blade gauntlets, but they look more like sword brass knuckles to me so I don't know. Also yes they are based on a weapon a digimon had, what of it?

And then, he is hella amethyst coded. Popped out of his rock thing in a chamber under the kindergarten (similar to the other experiments in the show) with no one around. He was an experiment and uses rock from different gems and is off color, so he doesn't know what he's for. Doesn't even know what diamond he should belong to, so that's why he's got a grey one on his chest. And there's a lot of little things and ideas for him that are inspired by Amethyst's characterization on the show, to the point I was planning a screenshot redraw even before I had his and Xisuma's designs even close to finalized.

I also have a fic I'm working on with him and Gemsuma, as well as that quick Jevin design plus a few teeny tiny references to other people's gem designs. If my adhd allows it, i should post that 1 shot fic tomorrow.