#do we still use that meme? no? lets just say Im bringing it back rather than too old and tired to update my memeology properly
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bigskydreaming · 1 month ago
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(Last reblog related) -
Like no offense to Jason Todd fans in general, but I'll always remember (fondly, he said, not at all sarcastically) those Jason stans who hopped on a post where I went indepth on how "Dick Grayson did not callously toss Jason in Arkham six cells down from the Joker and throw away the key and in fact the Joker was nowhere near Arkham at the time and Dick had spent Morrison's run prior to this point checking in on the rebuilding of Arkham via Wayne Enterprises contracts & so wanted Jason (who was arrested regardless of whether Dick wanted it or not bc they literally had their last fight in front of a police station) somewhere he could at least ensure he was safer from other prisoners than he would be in most prisons"...
and they were chatting back and forth with each other in their reblogs with variations of "LOL aww sounds like OP's a little too in love with their own fanfic takes."
Cut to me staring at the camera like I'm on the Office.
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taissaswifelowkey · 3 months ago
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Yellowjackets calling/texting you pt.ii!
a/n: DAMNN okay so i really need to figure out how to insert hyperlinks without it showing the whole thing 💀💀 also in pt i, i mistakenly added jackie TWICE instead of including lottie :(( my bad. ig it’ll be up to us to interpret who’s who 😭
i also decided to do a modern timeline for once!! proofread and as usual feedback is always welcome and enjoy 🥶💯💯
italics = texts, dialogues will be known with quotation marks
warnings: mentions of canon elements! they’re light spoilers but i’d rather be safe than sorry about ruining the show for someone. self-indulgent but you already know it yellowjackets gay propaganda 😎‼️‼️
modern timeline
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
📚 with meetings, galas and interviews and both of your conflicted schedules taissa doesn’t always have time to be with you (even though you’re often her plus one!) you’re not that much at the house at the same time but she’ll always text you to check up on you, making sure you and sammy are okay. ive said this once and ill say it again, ms turner is an avid ellipses and ok user. also uses the 👍 emoji
I made pasta!!
👍 Nice.
I might come home late…
Whose body do I need to bury??
i think she’ll also send you motivational quotes, or something related to philosophy. or anything that reminds her of your relationship. she can be simultaneously romantic and so nerdy, you love it
You know what this reminds me of? A certain quote of Socrates.
You talk about that guy more than you do about me 😒😒😒
🛹 if im thinking idealistically, it would be random texting with van. anything from memes, to weird statements, to memes again. but if you want my solid truthful opinion? i think she’s not really that big on technology. will mostly call you for hours using her vintage landline. you two however do keep contact with each other in any way when you’re apart, or when she’s on yj business
This TikTok has me rolling and sobbing
TikTok as in…the clock? Why would it make you cry? Are you okay?
phone calls when you are away! she loves hearing your voice :(( and you love hearing her laugh. she swears it’s awful but you like it in a “i like that laugh, hahaha” way. but back to idealist thinking, she would honestly use a list of emojis to communicate like
😁😃☺️😌😊👌
What’s happening?
I’m saying yes for the groceries get with the times 🙄😒🫤
🕷️ nat will forget to answer your text messages but she’ll still answer you as soon as she remembers? or she’ll just reply to you in person. otherwise than that she’ll take pictures of anything that reminds her of you. idk why but i think she texts in all caps unintentionally. would also have a few typos
I HATE TRAFFIC
Omg are you okay?
UTS FINE I JSUY DONT KIKE YRFFUF BUT IM OAKY
would use all sorts of emojis in any context but according to her interpretation. it leaves you confused most of the time like what does 🦵 mean???
🎀 hear me out…same as van i feel that adult lottie doesn’t use her phone that much??? i mean sure a few texts here and there but it’s not allll the time. HOWEVERRRR if, let’s say you’re on some trip or something, she will call/text/facetime you every now and then. would also text you right after calling
Heyyy how are you 🥰🥰🥰
Good :)) and you?
Great but I just miss you
It’s only been 30 secs since we hanged up lot 😭😭
is the type of person to send you recommendations on outdoors or indoor activities like “we should do this 🥰🥰🥰”
🦉 misty is a serial texter (when she has time, being a nurse and a secondhand dexter takes up a lot of time) so, sporadically, you’ll have messages. pictures of her coffee, or to gossip with you and minion memes. im telling you your inbox are spammed with facebook memes to the point of it being slightly concerning? also uses acronyms and 😂🤣
LOL check THIS out I am ROFLING 😂😂😂
This is the 10th minion meme in a day 😭😭
will also correct you. is literally ☝️🤓 but it’s something about those asterisks and corrections that brings a smile to your face
🪵 shauna is basically your virtual reminder. you hardly even use the notes app. sends you voice messages and expects you to reply with the same format. sends you pictures of what she did throughout the day
Look at what I found in our garden today!!
Aww that’s a cute bunny can we name it Mayfield
WILL and WILL expect you to answer directly, or at least answer 10 minutes after. of course that does not apply when you’re busy but if she’s doing the groceries and you’re at home you can answer, right? right???
🧸 voice messages with jackie taylor. like, podcasts. lots of tiktok memes, insta reels, just like lottie she will send you couple activities and be like we should do this omggg 😍😍😍 uses emojis, sometimes will spam you and WILL expect you to answer her too.
Hey beautifullll 🥰
Hi :)
Can you pls listen to my voice memo
Jax it’s three minutes long 😭😭
So??? It’s a signed masterpiece LISTEN TO IT
i think she’s also the type to send you playlists but also random recommendations, not just couple stuff. like clothing, jewellery, or makeup if that’s your thing. if you two are apart expect lots of 1 hour facetimes and thirty minutes of texting right after
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gaybestie01 · 2 years ago
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HoO meme dump bc i say so
Leo: *crying softly(
Piper: Leo, what's wrong
Leo: i just realized we can never know if a T-Rex is happy cause bc they can't clap there hands
Piper: *facepalms*
Leo: *singing if your happy and you know it softly*
Annabeth: Whats the worst thing you guys have done?
Piper: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade
Percy: Kicked Jason in the shin-
Jason: -so I kicked Percy in between the legs
Leo: I burned a town down
Annabeth: What?!?
Hazel: what the hell is wrong with you?
Leo: alot of things
Frank: well no shit
When it's cold on the Argo II they just sit in a circle and Leo is and makes Leo sit in the middle bc he emits heat therefore he is a furnace
Jason: *going wolf-boy feral and tearing the absolute shit out a some monster*
Leo and Piper in the background cheering and hyping him up: GO, WHITE BOY, GO
Hazel: who the fuck added me to this group chat
Frank: Language!
Leo: yeah, watch your fucking language
Percy: OK WHO TAUGHT HAZEL THE FUCK WORD
Annabeth: "the fuck word"?
Jason: are you stupid? you guys use the f word all the time
Piper: oh my gosh he censored it
Leo: say fuck, Jason
Percy: do it, Jason, say fuck
Piper: I saw Leo spill his coffee
Piper: it's been 30 minutes but he's just staring at the puddle int silence, with ears streaming down his face
Piper: at this point I'm afraid to help
Jason:
Reyna: we can't tell you bc you're not a member of the club
Leo: what club?
Frank: the hating Leo club
Leo: ...The fuck? I should be the leader of that club!
The seven + nico, will and reyna on a airplane
Percy: doesn't fly but if he does he is freaking the heck out
Annabeth: works on her computer the whole time
Piper: charmspeaks the flight attendants into giveing her free snacks and drinks
Leo: the kid who kicks the backs of your seat, can’t sit still, and just walks around the cabin
Jason: sits there is a smug look on his face because he can control the whole plane with the wind
Frank: sleeps the whole time
Hazel: in the bathroom throwing up and just motion sick the whole way, poor thing
Nico: the one person who has their music too loud you can hear through his headphones
Will: watches love drama tv shows on his phone and bothers Nico
Reyna: rather be any where else
To Percy- Fav song?
Percy: Under the Sea
Annabeth: percy your 17
Percy- i saved the world i should be able to pick my fav song
Annabeth: whatever Seaweed brain, anyway mine is-
Leo: *barges in through the door*
Leo: you guys know what mine is
Piper: no leo this question wasn’t for you
Leo: too bad *sets hand on fire*
Leo, off key: this girl is on fire
Annabeth: Leo no!!
Percy: SHE GOT HER HEAD IN THE CLOUDS
Leo: AND SHES NOT BACKING DOWN
Percy and Leo off key: THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIRRREEEE
Annabeth and Calypso:
Thalia: it's never too late to join the Hunt
Leo: what's the difference from snowmen and snowomen
Annabeth: don't
Leo: snow balls
Annabeth: percy, please bring me my dagger
Percy: look, I have a sister now i'm not risking it
Nico: are you saying my life matters less because i don't conform societies heteronormative, child-centric ideals
Percy: are you really playing the gay card right now?!?
Nico, in a monotone voice: Yaass queen
Nico: looking right because you left
Percy: looking left because you don’t treat me right
Will: looking up because you let me down
Leo: looking down because you messed up
Frank: what is wrong with you guys
Will: *shoves nico onto a chair*
Will: sit you need to rest and you lost a lot of blood
Nico: im fine
Will: no ur not you need blood, what's your type
Nico: what
Will: what is your blood type
Percy, from the halfway across camp: WELL IT AIN'T ME
Nico: *face palms*
Percy: I hate Octavin
Reyna: hate is a strong word
Reyna: in this case not strong enough
Baby Artemis: dad how long can a person breath in a washer machine while its one
Zeus, chuckles: well why would you want do know that
Zeus:
Zeus:
Zeus: wait where's Apollo!!!
Me: *standing outside of a burning school*
Me: someone said they hated Percy Jackson
Me: so i called leo
To Annabeth: can you talk to olives?
Annabeth: PERCY CAN CONTROL WATER
Annabeth: JASON CAN FLY AND MAKE IT STORM
Annabeth: PIPER CAN CHARMSPEAK AND TALK FRENCH
Annabeth: FRANK CAN TURN TO ANY ANIMAL
Annabeth: HAZEL CAN EARTHBEND AND SUMMON PRECIOUS MEDALS FROM THE GROUND
Annabeth: NICO CAN FREAKING RAISE THE DEAD AND CONTROL IT
Annabeth: LEO CAN BURST INTO FLAMES AND BUILD WAR SHIPS
Annabeth: WILL CAN HEAL ANYBODY AND CONTROL LIGHT
Annabeth: AND YOUR ASKING IF I CAN TALK TO OLIVES!!!
Annabeth:
Annabeth:
Annabeth:
Annabeth: yes, yes i can
Nico: *shutting Snow White *
Nico: the moral of the story is that apples are bad for you and you should only eat McDonalds ice cream
Will: nico nO-
Police Officer: ok where do you live
Percy: with my mom
Police Officer: where does your mom live
Percy: with me
Police Officer: where do you guys live by
Percy: by my neighbors
Police Officer: where does your neighbor live
Percy: you're not going to believe me
Police Officer: tell me
Percy: by me
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arodabi · 4 years ago
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okay, i’m finally getting around to writing this, and uhh ill say its for aro week too. this is written as an aro person directed at alloromantic people. when i refer to writing, i’m kind of using it as a general term for creative works. Here’s me throwing my hat in on the question:
Can you ship aromantic characters?
and my answer is,,,,, actually a question. Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? 
I want alloros to realize that for a lot of aros, we do not get to see ourselves represented often. I can actually count on like one hand how many popular canon aro characters there are, and on the whole, none of their identities are respected. people constantly try to weasel their way out of actually writing aro characters, or they just ignore or deny their identity outright. fandom spaces (hell creative spaces in general) are at best not welcoming to aros, and at worst actively hostile towards us. So when the first question brought up when a character gets canonically confirmed as aro is “okay cool but can i ship them???” or “that’s nice but how can i still write about my fave ship that involves them??” i want to fucking scream. its a slap to the face and it shows that people really do not give a shit about aros. you say stuff like that and all i hear is “my fictional ship is so much more important than representing your marginalized minority identity” so instead of me just sitting here and saying “yes you can totally ship aro characters, as long as you’re respectful!!!” i’m saying “can you stop and think why you want to shove an aro character into a romantic relationship at the first chance you get?? maybe you have some arophobia you haven’t worked on?? maybe since we live in an amatonormative world, you’re letting that influence your views??” because that question being the first thing out of your mouth when you see a character you like confirmed as aro? that’s already disrespectful towards aros in my book.
So back to my question, Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? is it because you can’t write characters without them being in romantic relationships? or because you think a character without a romantic relationship is boring? Because if so, that’s a bad reason and it sounds like amatonormativity is rotting your brain. 
Is it because you just really like a ship with the aro character? Because you can write two characters with a strong relationship without writing them as a couple. A strong friendship can hold just as much power as a romantic relationship.
Is it because fuck aros, i will write what I wanna write and I don't wanna write this character with their canon identity? because then you’re just an arophobic asshole that needs to work on your shitty opinions. aro representation is just as important as any other lgbtqia+ representation.
Now if you’re reading this and thinking “well i heard aros can be in queerplatonic relationships!” I want you to think for a second. Are you writing a qpr or are you writing a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off? Have you talked to aro people or read stuff actually written by us? because, yes, some qprs can look a lot like a romantic relationship from the outside, but that’s just it, you’re looking at it from the outside. qprs are more than just “romantic relationship with extra steps”, and i think it’s really telling how many times i see alloromantic people saying they’re depicting an aro character in a qpr, not a romantic relationship, but then they never ever make any effort to distinguish the qpr from any other romantic relationship they write or draw. It just feels like qprs are getting used by alloros as a gatcha any time an aro person objects to how they depict (or don’t depict) aromanticism. if you want to write a character in a qpr then go for it! but you need to actually do research, talk to aros, get multiple opinions and not just take the first opinion that agrees with you and run with it.
“But what about headcanoning a character as arospec?” now i will say before i go into this, i am aro, not arospec, so if an arospec person wants to come in and correct me at any part here im happy to listen. but my problem when alloros bring up arospec identities is a very similar problem to how qprs are often depicted. I remember when Peridot Stevenuniverse got confirmed aro (she did, do not argue this with me) people were jumping over themselves to assure everyone that “a character getting confirmed as aro just means they are any arospec identity” which,, uhh,, not true? i mean if an arospec person wants to see a canon aro character as, say, aroflux, i’ve got no problem, aro and arospec people can do what they want really. but, i do have a problem with all the alloro fans who were spreading this. because, do you really see the character as demiromantic? or are you using that identity to deflect criticism from erasing aro identities? are you actually trying to write a good depiction of a demiro person? or are you just writing normal ship stuff and slapping a “uwu ive never felt romantic attraction until i met you! and now i will act exactly like any alloromantic person!” at the beginning? being in fandom spaces, i do see the occasional fic actually depicting an aspec identity (i say aspec her because aro is so rare that most of these examples i’ve seen have been acespec identities rather than arospec) but like 99% of the time, that’s written by someone who actually shares the identity. before you use our terms and identities to cover your ass when you erase us, consider not fucking doing that. consider listening to all aros and getting our thoughts and input. 
And last here is “but what about romance positive aros?” now i think most of what i’ve said previously can be applied here. the only thing i wanna add is, i think its very interesting that almost every time i see non aros depict aros, they always write them as very into romance, very open to be in romantic relationships, and very quiet about their aro identity. despite the character in canon not showing any of these traits. romance positive aros are good and important, but not every aro is romance positive. there’s quite a few of us that are romance repulsed, and alloros only depicting aros as super romance positive no matter what is suspicious to say the least. if an aro character is shown to be open to participating in romantic activities in canon then of course write them that way. but if an aro character is shown to be uninterested in, or even actively against romantic activities then respect that too.
so, to wrap up my thoughts in this ramble: please ask yourself why you want to ship aro characters so bad, because if the only reason is that amatonormativity has brainwashed you into not being able to write, or draw, or do anything with a character without them being in a romantic relationship, then you uhhh need to work on that, that’s honestly a writing/creative flaw imo. if you like the relationship dynamic between an aro character and another character, consider making them friends. friendship is not less powerful than romantic relationships. nobody is ever too old for the power of friendship trope. If you’re erasing an aro character’s identity because fuck aros, then fuck off somewhere far away from me and work on your bullshit. qprs, arospec identities, and romance positive aros are all very real, very important parts of the aro community, but please talk to other aros about them and actually make an effort to understand how these things work, dont just assume. And also don’t use these things as a way to erase aro identities and cover your ass if get called out. its disrespectful towards all aros.
The most important thing to do before writing or creating work with aro characters is to talk to aros, and not just the aros that agree with you. look up what a qpr actually is, learn how aros experience their arospec identities, talk to aros with multiple outlooks on romance. and if you can’t bring yourself to reach out, at least read through our own writings, whether that’s fiction, or informational posts, fuck, look through our memes if u wanna. Just please actually make an effort.
So, Can you ship aro characters? its complicated. look at trends in your fandom, question why you want to, and do research. Be an aro ally, listen to us. That’s really the most important thing.
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ringmyheart · 4 years ago
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Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.
Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩
Goo Kim
When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact
Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭
If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”
He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously
If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that
And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries
It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun
But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older
And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u
And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs
Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u
Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO
If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys
Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too
Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier
Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it
Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious
If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something
He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO
He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser
If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery
None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol
If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do
But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector
Jake Kim
It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”
And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind
Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars
If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth
If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all
But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all
He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often
Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all
Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”
Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it
And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm
If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly
And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO
One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened
If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭
Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted
Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling
If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly
He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭
He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????
If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something
Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it
Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit
But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age
Scott Kwon
He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO
He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”
Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all
He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works
He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure
Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm
He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes
If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19
He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells
Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything
Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things
Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless
If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more
But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP
Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO
When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol
In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm
Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭
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sugar-petals · 4 years ago
Text
Cuddling With SuperM
↳ ❤︎ CARO’S NOTE: their concept is all about badassery i know but we’re dealing with seven angels so let’s talk about that shall we
warnings ⚠️ some light teasing, innuendo
length: 1.5k
taeyong
am i really telling you something ground-breaking with this:
so this guy’s truly adorable
turns into a baby what else is new
draws his knees to his chest and just enjoys the ride with his eyes closed
you can do whatever the hell you want
back rubs, head pats, foot massages, caressing the neck or underneath the chin which is particularly sweet
and a whole lot of tickling he’s kinda obsessed with this
excellent chef he is, taeyong enjoys preparing snacks for a set cuddling time or movie night
so what if this turns into feeding each other basically are you ready for that
this guy’s impossible face up close is hard to bear for the faint-hearted just mentioning that in passing here
because… he has that one yearning expression and his eye contact is very steady
bit of a duality here huh
but worry not because taeyong’s tiger inside is more of a cat actually, tyongkitty behavior guaranteed right there
he does do friendly head buts and yeah the eye contact is also a cat thing now that i think about it… it all makes sense now
ten, baekhyun, lucas and taemin are pretty cocky types of cuddlers, taeyong leads the more subdued fraction in super m
it’s the kind of cuddling that needs rainy weather and a cup of tea
ten
quality time right here
banter is always included ofc
or at least a lot of talk because with ten, conversation and cuddles go together
likes pets joining, three’s a party, a cat can always make a snuggly contribution
add a ball of wool to play around
like. a-you, a-me, and a cat right in between ya see
music is always playing in the background, always
ten’s body is very sensual… you can tell he’s a dancer by the way he’s adapting, how he’s feeling it, how he moves in general
the reflexes are just so different he has great feeling for what you wanna do next it’s his bodily intuition and he just goes along with it
what you gotta tell him though is to keep it lowkey with keeping his jazzy outfits on
a hoodie cuddles better than high fashion and spiked jackets
plus he looks adorably small in it so two birds with one stone
never forget ten is really tiny that sure makes a difference
reluctant little spoon, he keeps it face-to-face or sleeps on his back
ten is glad to be approached with hugs he’s not always doing the initiative
shy thailand angel ikr
but don’t complain if he farts because he absolutely will
goddammit chittaphon
kai
if it’s without a plushie something’s going wrong it always needs one
his favorite teddy’s gotta participate y’know he’s a social creature
in this home we don’t discriminate against plush bears
and yeah, his bear ear hoodie likewise he is sure to put it on
jongin tends to be rather taciturn because he wants to enjoy the body-to-body sensations
meaning, don’t interpret his frequent silence as awkwardness he’s just observing
is not above teasing… if his outfit is showing some skin he’ll invite you to touch the area
also enjoys you putting your hands under his sweater
he’s laughing like crazy and kicking his legs all giggly if you put your head underneath it and let it roam oh la la
yeah nini likes some wit to it for sure, and some steaminess in the mix it’s just a natural byproduct if we’re honest
dim the lights down low for this one…
but also light the candles alright
cuddling is more of a soft and steady thing there’s not much position changes going on
this is the couch not the dancefloor your honor
while we’re talking about that: jongin is a buff biatch my god
prep a water bottle to chug when you’re cuddling this guy is effortlessly hot
also know that kai will almost definitely snap a picture of you huddled together for the memory of it
baekhyun
unlike his memes, baekhyun’s cuddling behaviour is entirely predictable
will snuggle against your shoulder by default pretty much that’s his favorite area
stays glued there for two hours if you’re not busy
im not kidding
needless to say he needs a partner who can handle this level of clinginess
baekhyun can’t keep his hands to himself in general
neither can you
it’s groping x cuddling these two are a dead sure combination
keen to snuggle casually while he’s gaming, cross-legged on the ground with you massaging his back
likes to lay his head into your lap, too.
baekhug i mean back hug enthusiast. something inside his face has an inbuilt magnet that sucks him into the space between your collar bones
especially when you’re at the stove cooking
caution: love bites. lots of them. does this count as cuddles? probably. it’s not like he’s eating you or is he. oop—
what am i saying all he does is nibble alright
and oh yeah bring on the sweater weather. he can’t stay still in bed it’s gonna be a pillowfort building session though
you gotta exhaust him until he naps off lmao!
energizer bunny bf
mark
enjoys being fed watermelon during the process how else could it be
wait until this guy hears what harry styles’ watermelon sugar is all about his world will never be the same again
anyway
he’ll look so cute in his striped shirt and his round glasses awh
cuddling is his favorite way to show his trust and affection before all else
his favorite time to cuddle is before going to sleep
he usually hugs pillows so you can tell how clingy he winds up as
mark really sleeps and dreams better if you do that it has an astounding effect. cuddles are his perfect recharging if you will it’s just that he’s actually calming down through it whereas he can be nervous throughout the day so he needs that downtime
spooning is a given
what he enjoys the most about it is the warmth
markie easily gets cold sometimes he just needs that tune-up with you he’s like blink blink there goes my dose of daily heat beep beep
what the fuck
anyway again
talk about tune
just like ten he’s very talkative all the way verbal stimulation and mark lee just go together
if you compare him to taeyong there’s not much of a transformation going on mark lee on two legs is the same mark lee during cuddles it’s all copy paste
all in all a delectable experience, extremely cute and heart-melting, super m truly has a super mark
taemin
much like xuxi he has that permanent smile on his lips that tries to make you laugh
in fact taemin is hard to stop with his puns and his humor
ffs he is a true brat
taems can’t help but try to escalate this into a playfight every time
not that he doesn’t enjoy the calmer types of cuddling but he needs some action in the sack
enjoys praise along the way who are we kidding
the clothes you both cuddle in are very important alright, the fabric in particular
taemin keeps it expensive here it’s just the way he rolls
satin my dear
it’s just so satisfying to the touch
but also beware of his most lethal clothing choice which brings out his innate maknae charm the most
THE FLUFFY TURTLENECK
gyeahh
which he will use during special occasions to turn you into a cuddle monster ready to pounce him
give it up for shinee my loves they taught him well and sent him out to fluff up the world
what else is there okay we also gotta mention that cuddling consists of many little kisses here and there
taemin wants to get absolutely peppered
he is and stays a prince
lucas
ideal body type for cuddling except that it needs the right place, not the environment but the spot i mean, you can imagine
lucas can explode any smol-size couch or bed
don’t even think about trying to cuddle on regular chairs my god why would you live so dangerously
king size por favor
there is a lot to cuddle against it’s really a whole wonderland
those big ole thighs are practical cushions for anything really.
and his face is just so amicable it has to be kithed
his hands… his hands! you will feel maximum protection with those giant baby fingers around your hips i’m telling you
admittedly yukhei is hard to properly hug around the shoulders obviously that’s a drawback but hey his waist is lithe and tiny so hello there, very inviting
oh, that infectious smile.
serious cuddling: 0 — funny cuddles: over 9,000
and tasty cuddles because foodcas brings some fried rice every time oh yum
hates to go to work he really prioritizes you and cuddles go on for long long hours especially when you watch your favorite series
xuxi goes the extra mile, he will touch your hair a lot, just gently combing through it
and he doesn’t mind it when you do the same, he’s got the most angelic blonde locks after all
lu calls you beautiful all the time the cheesy mf is really pulling the standard compliment alright
cue jonas brothers sucker for you
ugh, boyfriend
mlist
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dovechim · 5 years ago
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a remedy for mondays 04 (m)
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01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)
➾ 10.1k
➾ summary: all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.
➾ warnings: romantic sex, unprotected/ pregnancy sex, creampie, cum eating... the usuals
➾ a/n: thank you for following through with this series so far. im sorry for the wait, but here is the final part :) I also realised that part 3 was not on my master list, but that has been fixed. I hope everyone is keeping safe during these times.
enjoy, and a happy Monday to you :)
(some people asked to be tagged in this, I think @pjmcth​... I and forgot who else 😅)
The first Monday off work, you have grand plans for yourself.
Grand plans that include sleeping in until noon, getting up only to stuff yourself with whatever is left in the kitchen, and then going back to sleep until its dark outside.
It’s your first off day in the longest time that you can remember, and you’ll be damned if you have to move any more than strictly necessary. Finally, it’s time for you to lead the lazy life that you’ve always craved for.
But the best laid plans never come to fruition, and you are left staring miserably at the clock at 7am, wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. Your body clock has been honed after all these years, and it simply will not let you rest. Instead of feeling warm and content, snuggled up in your bed under the covers, you just feel empty and wronged.
Scrolling through social media only delays the inevitable for so long. Looking at all the meaningless memes and watching countless video after video until you finally cry yourself back to sleep again.
When you next wake, it’s noon. You still have the leftovers of the stew that Jimin made the last time he was here, and you spoon it miserably into your mouth after heating it up, but everything tastes like sawdust. The side dishes from Granny are lying untouched in your fridge, and you can’t bear to look at it for a moment longer.
When you lie in bed, you stare at the ceiling motionlessly. Your thoughts are scattered and you can’t help but feel as if your body is not your own anymore. Maybe if you close your eyes, everything will go away when you open them next and this will be just a bad dream.
The first Monday you have without work was supposed to be the best one you’ve had in ages, but instead it passes over in a blur of misery.
The days blur into each other as you cage yourself up in your home, too tired to go out, but too awake to sleep either. It’s only by some primal survival instinct that you keep yourself fed, not to satiate the hunger pangs, but with the lingering consciousness in the back of your mind that whatever is growing inside you at this very moment needs sustenance too, even if you do end up throwing it all up anyway. You’re far too gone to cook anything for yourself, so at this point it’s only Granny’s side dishes that are keeping you alive. What you’ll do when they run out, you have no idea.
You actively avoid thinking about the pea sized bundle of cells growing inside you that very moment. Maybe it’s because you’re scared of having to face a reality where you really might be a single mother, or perhaps it’s because they remind you of a certain man that you loved and lost.
On the third day, your routine of lying in bed is interrupted by a loud and insistent knock on the door that doesn’t go away even when you attempt to ignore it. Dragging yourself to your feet, you pull on a sweater that you pick up from the ground, aware that you haven’t showered or combed your hair in days, but you don’t have any energy to spare in making yourself presentable.
You answer the door, already opening your mouth to tell the delivery person or salesman or whoever that they’ve got the wrong unit.
But it isn’t some stranger. It’s Granny’s kind, smiling face beaming at you as she reaches forward to grasp your hand through the bars of your gate.
“_______!” The way she greets you is as if she hasn’t seen you in years. She looks so happy to see you that it feels as if the whole world brightens up a couple of notches just from her smile alone.
“Gr-Granny! What are you doing here?” Her grip on your hand is warm and reassuring, and she only lets you go for a moment as you move to unlock the gate and usher her in hurriedly.
You’re ashamed at the state of your house. Dirty plates and cups everywhere, empty containers of food dumped in the sink. You are a mess.
But Granny doesn’t say a single word about it as she bustles in, and that’s when you notice that she’s carrying a large bag that she carts over to the kitchen. It’s once again filled with her side dishes, and she stocks all of them into your near empty fridge without a word.
“Granny… that must have been heavy to carry all alone. You shouldn’t have come all the way…” You hesitantly watch her as she organises your fridge for you.
“Nonsense. I only tried that delivery service that one time because all my friends were raving about it. But it turned out to be such a hassle to pack and address everything. I rather do it myself!” She says in a matter of fact tone as she finishes stacking the containers and turns around to face you with a fond smile. “And this way, I get to see how you’re doing too.”
Your eyes brim with tears almost immediately, and you inwardly curse the stupid hormones.
“How did you… how did you know my address?” You watch Granny, and she doesn’t seem to stop moving as she picks up plates, containers and cups, puts them in the sink and wipes down the table counter.
“I squeezed it out from Jimin, of course,” she chuckles at the memory. “Silly boy tried to stop me from coming all the way down here by myself, but when I said I wanted to bring you food…”
Your heart skips a beat at the mention of him.
“But why me? What about Jimin? Shouldn’t you be bringing him food instead of me?” Worse still, the guilt threatens to overwhelm you with how selfless Granny is being, putting you over her grandson when you’ve been nothing but a curse to him.
Granny looks over at you with a confused frown on her face. “What? Jimin? He can take care of himself.” Her kind eyes are smiling as she turns to look at you.
And then it hits you, that she’s only being this nice because she thinks you’re pregnant. A lump forms in your throat as your eyes drop to your midriff. You can’t lead her on any longer. Granny deserves to know the truth, and like Jimin, she shouldn’t have been dragged into this whole mess in the first place.
“Granny… I have something to tell you.”
“Hmm? What is it, Puppy?” Her nickname for Jimin makes your chest ache, and you have to sit down for this. She is scrubbing the dishes at your sink, and the casual, fond way that she gives you his nickname makes what’s coming even worse. God knows you aren’t ready for the impending look of disappointment and anger on her face.
She’ll probably curse you and storm out. Maybe she’ll slap you with the kimchi she brought. Either way, you deserve it.
“Granny, I…” The words are stuck in your throat, and you just can’t find a way to word it. “We lied to you. Back when Jimin and I visited you and your family, and even before that. We… I wasn’t pregnant. We were only pretending to be so that…”
Your voice trails off, and you tire to think of explaining the whole story behind why you even pretended to be pregnant in the first place. You can’t think of a single thing to say that might explain why you deserve her forgiveness.
“I know,” Granny puts down the soapy plate that she was scrubbing. “I didn’t come here to bring you food just because of the baby. Or just because I thought you were pregnant. I came because I wanted to see you, and my silly boy was being so vague and avoiding my questions about you over the phone that I had to come down and see you myself.”
Her response catches you off guard. “Wait, you knew that we were pretending all along?”
Granny only smiles. “Not all along, dear. But when you were at my house, I was packing up the room that the both of you stayed in, and I found your bag of pads and tampons. Now, that wasn’t enough to make any solid conclusions, but combined with the fact that you weren’t showing yet…”
Your shoulders slump. “So you knew. Why didn’t you call us out on it? We were… we lied to you. No, actually, it was me all along. I dragged Jimin into this and made him lie to you. You should hate me, curse me, anything-!”
But Granny doesn’t do any of that. Instead, she approaches you, placing her hand on your shoulder in a warm, reassuring touch. “I could never hate you, Puppy. Not after I’ve seen how much Jimin likes you. You know, he used to be such a shy little thing. But after he met you, I saw how happy you made him. It’s like we all saw a side of him that only you could bring out.”
There is a moment of silence as you digest all this.
“And it’s not just because you made him happy either,” Granny continues. “______, it would be an honour to have you as an addition to my family. Baby or not. We all really like you. You’re strong, you work hard and you’re an intelligent young woman. What more could we want?”
“Granny…” your eyes brim with tears and they spill over, as you clutch her hand, feeling the guilt squeeze your heart over and over. Granny has treated you as part of the family from day one. She saw the good in you even when you couldn’t see it yourself. Her kind eyes and warm embrace makes you feel safe enough to pour everything out to her. The years of mistreatment at your job, all the humiliation that you endured from Bae Joohyun, how you got fired for committing fraud, and the ultimate irony of it all…
“Granny, I messed up. With Jimin. With everything. We said we’d try for a baby for real so that we wouldn’t get in trouble with the company, but they ended up finding out anyway, and now I’m really…” you stop to wipe your cheeks. “Really pregnant.”
A chuckle of disbelief leaves your lips. This is the first time you’ve said the words out loud, instead of just denying it and hoping that it will just go away on its own. You expect Granny to jump for joy or cry with happiness, but instead, she squeezes your hand.
“Does Jimin know?” She asks gently, handing you some tissues and stroking your hair.
Granny’s tender loving touch makes more tears well in your eyes. It’s been forever since you received the love and care that only a maternal figure can provide, and the thought itself reminds you of the tiny little spore that is probably growing inside you at this very moment. Your emotions are just all over the place, and one thought easily snowballs into another.
“No, he doesn’t,” you press the tissue to your damp cheeks, and it soaks through instantly. “I couldn’t tell him… not after everything I put him through. What kind of sick game would I be playing on him?”
Granny only lets you wallow in your ocean of self-pity for a tad longer before she tsks under her breath, straightening up.
“Well, that’s the least of your worries for now. If I were you, sweetheart, I’d think about suing that company of yours. Or at the very least, getting some kind of compensation from them.” Granny’s voice is a no-nonsense one, and it reawakens the rage and indignance that had been drowned out.
She’s right. Being down and feeling sorry for yourself like this is not going to accomplish anything. You’ve never been one to take things lying down, to take the cards as you’re dealt them, but somehow, somewhere along the way after working at this company, you changed. You got beaten down, slowly but surely, and you didn’t even realise it.
Hastily, you wipe your cheeks dry and try to push yourself to your feet. Your movements are fumbling. Where is that notebook with the evidence of all the mistreatments and humiliations you’ve endured over the years? If you’re going to retaliate, might as well mount a full scale attack against those corporate bastards.
But the lack of nutrition over the past few days gets to you, and your vision blacks out for a moment when you stand up, causing you to wobble dangerously on your feet.
Granny sees the look of resolute determination that comes over your face, and she reaches out to steady you. You make a weak attempt at reassuring her that you are alright, taking a few steps forward, but she stops you again.
“Where do you think you’re going, Puppy?”
“To- to get my notebook. And then… I need to get dressed.” Thoughts are racing through your mind of how you’ll storm into the office, fling the doors open with a cup of hot, steaming black coffee in hand and not-so-accidentally-
“You’re not going anywhere,” she says with a firmness in her voice that matches her grip as she forces you to sit back down.
Appalled, you open your mouth to argue back, but Granny shakes her head.
“Not until you’re eating properly and regaining your strength,” she clarifies, pushing up her sleeves once more. “And I’m here to make sure of that.”
The next few days, you’re treated like royalty. Even though you feel bad for making a woman of her age do all the housework, cook you meals with ten side dishes three times a day, Granny won’t have it any other way. Even when you try to sneakily help out with folding a piece of clothing or washing the dishes, all you get are looks of disapproval from the warm old woman, and you feel too bad to keep going.
You’ve never eaten so well before. Chicken, beef, fish, pork. Vegetables of every kind, roasted, stir fried, steamed and blanched, and plenty of fruits too. And along with all that are all the essential pre-natal vitamins that you’ve neglected to take up until now. Granny feeds you better than you could ever feed yourself, and you wonder how you lived without her all these years.
No wonder Jimin turned out so well.
Slowly, the colour begins to reappear in your cheeks. Your hollow, sunken face begins to fill out again, and you find yourself more energetic. Granny looks on with approval as you work at your desk, writing down a long list of everything you’ve ever wanted to say to Bae Joohyun. She listens with a beaming, proud smile on her face as you rehearse your figurative war cry, giving suggestions on where to embellish with more emotion, where to really let them feel the full extent of your wrath.
And on the day itself, she helps you pick out your outfit.
“This one, you look good in this,” Granny says finally, after you have tried on five different outfits.
You look at yourself uncertainly in the mirror, not used to what you see. The light makeup that you had applied for the first time in ages sits unfamiliar on your face. You’d given up on wearing makeup to work a long time ago. Your figure is clad in black from head to toe, dressed in a power suit that you could never bring yourself to wear. You had bought it on impulse years ago when it was on sale, and ever since then it has lived in the back of your closet, waiting to see the light of day. The lapels are made of satin, the suit jacket nips in at your waist snugly (thankfully not toosnugly, considering your current condition) and your legs are somehow longer than you remember them being in the tapered, slim fit dress pants.
Your hands linger on your lower belly for a moment, self-consciously turning to the side to see if it protrudes visibly. But at this stage, it’s barely visible. Then your gaze travels down to your bare feet, and Granny’s voice matches your thoughts.
“You should wear those,” she suggests, pointing to a pair of strappy, low heels that would compliment the outfit, lengthening your legs even more but still providing enough support so that you’ll be comfortable.
But you had something else in mind, and you have to tear your eyes away from the pair of plain old battered flats that you used to wear every day without fail. Similar to the power suit, that pair of heels has been sitting in your cabinet for as long as you can remember, never having the courage to wear it out.
“Women who wear heels with a suit are dressed to kill,” she says by way of explanation, and she sounds so logical that you can’t turn her down.
You bend down to pick up the pair of heels, placing them by the door as you head back to the kitchen, ushered by Granny, to finish the breakfast she made. Today it’s an omelette egg roll and soft tofu soup with pork slices. The egg roll has ketchup squirted on it in a smiley face, and you can’t help but laugh when you see it.
“Granny, I’m not five years old you know,” you pout at her, folding your arms in a gesture that would suggest otherwise. But the following grin on your face as you stuff your mouth with the warm, soft and savoury egg roll is unstoppable.
Granny only laughs as she sits down beside you with her own portion. “You and Jimin are the same. That’s how he likes his ketchup too.”
At the mention of Jimin, your chopsticks freeze in the midst of spearing another egg roll. Your hand shakes a little as you set the utensils down. The thought of running into him only to be faced with his cold look of rejection just chills you to the bone. There’s no way you could stomach that from him.
“What if… what if I see him?” You say in a small voice.
In all your practice runs, you had only gone over what to say to Bae Joohyun and HR. You kept yourself focused on the task ahead, not sparing yourself even a moment to indulge your emotions. But you hadn’t thought of what would happen if you run into Jimin, how you’ll tell him about the baby, or how you’ll make everything right again.
When you start to think about running into Jimin, your mind starts to overthink about what it’ll be like to step foot into that place again. The workplace that you suffered at for years, enduring all sorts of humiliation and injustice just to get to where you are right now. Your breathing involuntarily speeds up- some kind of post-traumatic response, and for a second, you think you might just chicken out of all this.
Just then, your phone placed on the table beside you lights up with a text.
Kim Taehyung: hey… um… i know it’s weird of me to be asking this since u already left us but… Kim Taehyung: if u can, can u come in today? we r rly shorthanded and could use ur help. Kim Taehyung: if it helps, bae joohyun said she’ll buy you a nice lunch if u can come in today. Kim Taehyung: please?
And then just like that, all the feelings of insecurity and cowardice disappear. The nerve of this fucking company. They fire you for fraud and then beg for you to come back and work for them for free? You honestly doubt that Bae Joohyun actually said that, but that’s not the point.
You can almost feel the rage heating up your entire body. Granny takes a look at your screen and tsks under her breath.
“I don’t know what kind of company that is, Puppy, but I’ve never seen one that treats its employees like that.”
Your fingers are trembling as you type back a reply. First, you type out a curt rejection, adrenaline filling your entire body as you imagine what Bae Joohyun’s reaction might be when she learns that for once in your entire miserable career working for her; you turned her down. But there is also a chord of fear that strikes you through the heart, borne out of an ingrained instinct to submit to your inner yes-man in order to please them.
You hesitate before pressing send, taking a moment to compartmentalise your emotions and think this through. There’s a chance that when you get to the office building, you might be turned away by security because you don’t have your access card anymore.
Deleting your entire message, you rack your brains to figure out how to field this situation to your advantage.
Up till now, they still think you’re this pathetic little girl who’d roll belly up to please them at a moment’s notice. They don’t even have the decency to feel a shred of guilt for asking you to come in and work practically for free.
Except you’re not intimidated by them anymore. Now, you are in the position of power.
And this is how you’ll take them down.
Holding your breath, you type out a short reply to Kim Taehyung.
You: I’ll be there at 10.
Granny nods her approval over your shoulder as you put your phone face down, not even bothering to check when Taehyung’s reply comes back.
“You know… I don’t think you’ll have to worry about Jimin. When he sees you dressed like that, he won’t be able to resist. He’ll fall at your feet,” Granny says with a mischievous smirk.
“Granny!” You chide her with a blush heating your cheeks.
“What? It’s true,” she says with a pout that looks oh-so-familiar. “Just be natural, Puppy. Say whatever that comes to mind. That silly boy is probably dying to see you but is too stubborn to come all the way here. Why, he probably looks a right mess too. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been crying his heart out the past week.”
You start to open your mouth to contradict her, but all Granny does is push another egg roll into your mouth as she urges you to finish your breakfast. “Eat up, Puppy. You don’t want to be late.”
*
It’s funny what a change of outfit and shoes can do to a woman. It makes you feel like an entirely different person as you walk into the office building at 10 am on the dot. You’re no longer the meek little employee stuck in a dead-end job who can’t stand up for herself.
No, today you are brave, you are confident, and you are here to give back everything that’s been dealt to you all this while.
Security stops you as you enter. You’re already kind of used to this, since you were never once assigned with your own photo pass in all the time you worked here. Everyday, you had to sign in as a visitor and go through the security checks only for visitors, which more often than not, made you late for work when they hit a snag in the process every now and then. Being made to feel like a visitor at your own workplace does things to a person’s self-esteem, but you grit your teeth and remind yourself that this is the last time you’ll be doing this.
“Who are you here for?” A burly security guard asks you with a stern expression, even though he must have seen your face on a daily basis for the past few years.
“Kim Taehyung.” You say truthfully, and the guard just nods as he waves at you to put your bag through the scanning machine.
Waiting at the other end after having stepped through the metal detecting gates, you scoop up your bag and walk to the elevator. Seeing as it’s past the usual reporting time, it is empty, and your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the numbers go by on the elevator display.
When the doors open, you have composed yourself again, a straight face as you stride towards the doors. You wave your temporary access card and enter, once again struck by the ominous familiarity of the entire place.
Kim Taehyung spots you from his workstation immediately. “______!” He calls out your name in nothing short of a yell, and you fight the urge to cringe, watching as multiple heads turn around to look at you.
Including Park Jimin’s.
Granny was right. He does look a lot worse for wear. He resorts to hiding behind his enormous geek glasses again, blonde hair limp and dull over his forehead, his pretty brown eyes no longer have that warmth anymore. His usually plush, luscious lips are pale, and he looks as if he hasn’t slept in days.
Out of the whole office, even with multiple eyes on you and voices whispering out of curiosity, he is the only one you can look at.
“I’m so glad you could make it!” Kim Taehyung is almost at your side as he spreads his arms in welcome. There is a wide grin across his face, not unlike how he was before. “We really, really need you here.”
Hearing those words makes you break the eye contact with Park Jimin to look at Taehyung. For a moment, you desperately want to believe that those words are true. And it makes you doubt yourself, makes you think that maybe this company isn’t so bad after all, maybe they do treasure you after all. If Taehyung says he needs you, then maybe they really do need you to help them out with a piece of work that no one else can do.
But no. They had years to realise your worth. Why are they only doing it now, after they fired you so unceremoniously?
So you placate him with a bland smile. “Sure. What would you like me to do?”
Taehyung practically skips to his desk. “Ok so we need you to go through some of the brochure material that we’ll be pushing out soon. Just another pair of eyes to make sure that we didn’t miss anything. I know you don’t have your laptop anymore, so you can borrow mine. Oh, and…”
You watch his eyes slide awkwardly to where your old desk used to be. In your absence, they had replaced the smaller desk with a full sized one, currently occupied by someone you don’t recognise.
“…uh, we’ll get you one of the empty meeting rooms to work in,” Taehyung motions for you to follow him, and it’s all you can do not to look in Park Jimin’s direction as you turn away. “You look great, by the way. Hardly recognised you.”
You clear your throat awkwardly as a way of responding as Taehyung sets his laptop on the table for you and plugs it in. He opens the required documents for you as you seat yourself in the hardbacked chair.
“So… here are all the things we need you to look through. Let me know when you’re done, okay? Thanks again, ______!” Taehyung beams at you as he lets himself out of the room.
Left alone, you relax a little. At least things seem to be going your way for now, even the parts you didn’t plan for. Minimizing the word document window, you open Microsoft Outlook and navigate over to Taehyung’s calendar. There, you scroll down to find Bae Joohyun’s calendar and all her appointments and meetings for today.
There. At 11.30am, she has a meeting with the Policy team, with HR in attendance. When you scroll down to the meeting details, you see that Park Jimin has been appointed secretariat for this meeting. You ignore the flutter of nerves that arise at the sight of his name to open up Taehyung’s instant messenger. What you’re doing could really get him in trouble, but then again, a part of you simply doesn’t care. He was complicit in all of this. You have no sympathy for him at all.
You send a quick instant message to one of the Policy team to let them know that the meeting has been cancelled so that you can hijack it for your own purposes. When they reply with an acknowledgement, you sit back in your chair, letting out a sigh of relief before quickly deleting any signs of evidence from his chat log history.
You spend some time going over what you prepared to say when you finally meet the witch, everything from past payrolls where you were underpaid for your overtime work, a draft from a lawyer threatening to sue for illegally divulging your medical information to a doctor’s letter proving your current pregnancy. Everything you need to take that witch on is right here.
A soft, timid knock sounds at the door, and you hurriedly gather everything into a pile and shove it into your bag. Can’t have your plan given away before you’re ready. You expect it to be Taehyung coming to check on your progress, but when the door cracks open, you see a flash of blonde hair, followed by a soft, sweet voice that you missed so much.
“Can I come in?” Jimin asks with his eyes trained on the floor in front of you.
“Come in,” your hands twist together out of nervousness, and you see that Jimin is carrying a cup in his hands as he approaches you.
“I uh… I brought you this. I know you need coffee every day at around this time, so…” Jimin gingerly places the cup on the table without taking a single step forward so that he remains as far away from you as possible. You can see that he is nervous, all the tell-tale signs are there. From the way he keeps running his fingers through his hair to the way he bites his bottom lip and avoids eye contact.
You never really realised it, but you do always go to the pantry at around this time for your before lunch coffee. It gets worse when you realise that Jimin used his cup to make you coffee, and as you stare at his beloved One Piece mug, you have to stop yourself from crying.
Jimin mistakes your silence for something else, and he clears his throat awkwardly as he takes another step backwards. “Well um… let me know if you need anything. I’ll just be… I’ll be outside.”
A part of you wants to call out after him. There are so many things you want to tell him, but before you can gather your scattered wits, he lets himself out of the room.
It’s okay. It’s the wrong timing anyway, you tell yourself in an attempt to calm down and put all thoughts of his sad puppy eyes out of your mind. There will be enough time to talk to him when this is all over. Right now, you have to gear up for the biggest battle of your life.
When 11.30am comes, you shut the lid on Taehyung’s laptop and let yourself out of the room. You know Bae Joohyun always likes to stroll into her meetings exactly 2 minutes late, so you take your time walking to the meeting room. When you are 10 steps away, you see her black clad figure just ahead of you. You watch her push open the meeting door, and you have to consciously fight against back the pulse of intimidation that runs through your entire body. You quicken your steps and push the door open after her.
Just as you’d hoped, the only people in the room are the witch herself, Kim Namjoon from HR, and… Park Jimin as the note taker. He looks surprised to see you in the room as he straightens his posture, eyes widened almost comically in the way that you’ve become all too familiar with.
“What’s this?” Bae Joohyun doesn’t look the least bit bothered, just continues to tap away on her special iPad without even looking up. “Why is she here? Isn’t this meeting with the Policy unit?”
Kim Namjoon looks flustered as he looks at you, gesturing with his chin for you to get out. When you don’t make a single move, he turns back to Bae Joohyun, visibly sweating. “Um… there must be some kind of mistake… _____, we could talk about this later?”
The way his voice rises in a desperate plea only makes the victory even sweeter.
“No. It’s not a mistake. I’m here to dispute the terms of my termination.” You take out your folder of evidence from your bag and drop it on the table. “Of course, we could invite our colleagues from the Policy Unit to sit in on this meeting as well, but something tells me that you won’t want them to hear about what I have to say.”
There is a beat of tense silence as Bae Joohyun contemplates what’s on her iPad screen. She hasn’t looked up even once since you walked into the room. She lets out a soft sigh, as if all this is beneath her and just a waste of her time. Seeing as you aren’t about to get her attention any time soon, you shift your gaze to Kim Namjoon.
“First of all, I would like to bring your attention to the unfair compensation that I have been subject to all these years. According to my calculations, I have yet to be compensated for 136 hours of overtime.” You push a stack of timesheets towards Kim Namjoon’s shocked face. “Time and time again I’ve submitted these, only for them to be rejected.”
Bae Joohyun doesn’t react at all.
“Secondly, I have consulted my lawyer about the illegal release of my medical information. He has advised me to take legal action both against the doctor who allowed my medical information to be leaked, as well as the company itself who illegally utilised the information.”
You pause for a moment to let the words sink in, and at the very same moment, you see Kim Namjoon’s face turn slightly green as he processes the meaning of this.
“Sure, you might be thinking that it’ll be easy to win a lawsuit against an individual like me, being a huge company and all that. But I don’t think it will reflect too well on your organisation as a whole, will it?”
Bae Joohyun blinks once, then taps a few times on her iPad so that the screen goes black. Then, she shifts her gaze to you, her face still unreadable, but you detect a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.
“So? What’s your point?” She folds her arms and addresses you directly.
A good sign. A very good sign.
It’s time for the final blow. You brace yourself with your fists clenched by your side, aware of the mounting tension in the room. Namjoon is practically holding his breath, you can see him shaking in his seat with his eyes darting back and forth between you and Bae Joohyun. Jimin has given up all pretence of typing and hiding behind his laptop, and he is looking at you with nothing short of awe on his face.
You reach in for your last piece of evidence. “You are aware that in this country it is against the law to terminate a pregnant woman without a thorough inquiry? And if a pregnant employee must be dismissed, it has to be based on relevant and objective performance criteria?”
A small raise of her eyebrow as her head nods imperceptibly, but you can see Bae Joohyun’s expression waver.
“Yes… we are well aware of that. It is a policy I have helped to implement,” the witch says with a hint of pride in her voice.
A satisfied smile spreads across your face as you draw out the doctor’s letter. You can hear Jimin’s sharp intake of breath in the otherwise silent room, and the shifting in his seat as he leans his elbows on the table. His mouth is slightly open, but no words are coming out.
“According to this letter, you’ll find that I am currently almost 2 months pregnant. As such, having been terminated whilst pregnant without further inquiry or offer of wage compensation, I am entitled to further legal action against you and the company.”
You toss the letter directly to Bae Joohyun, and it lands heavily in front of her. You can see Jimin’s fingers twitch as his stare burns a hole into the letter, before looking back at you with an unreadable expression on his face. The witch herself lets out another sigh before meeting your eyes, completely ignoring the letter.
“We will look into raising a fair and just inquiry.” Her words are brief, and she casts a sideways glance at Namjoon as she says this, as if this was all his fault to begin with.
Namjoon, on the other hand, rushes to accept the blame. “O-of course! We will ensure that the entire process is as transparent and fair as possible.”
“No need for that,” you say with an indifferent wave of your hand, and the satisfaction grows when the witch herself does a double take.
“What… what exactly do you mean by that?” Bae Joohyun is unable to believe her ears.
Jimin is looking at you as if you just saved the world from total destruction. The admiration in his eyes can’t be hidden as he grins. Namjoon looks sick.
“No need for the inquiry,” you say just to make things clear. “I’m aware of how things are done at this company, and sad to say that it’s anything but fair. I’m quitting. Notice effective immediately. You’ll hear from my lawyer regarding the compensation that I owe for my notice period.”
You reach into your bag for the last envelope, tossing your resignation letter onto the table with a practiced ease. Then, you gather your bag and make your way out the door, Bae Joohyun’s shocked expression burned into your retinas.
It feels like you’re walking away from an explosion like the cool guys do in the movies. For once in your life, you feel like the protagonist of your own movie rather than the side character.
Everyone else in the office is still working quietly, so you escape the office without being pursued further. When you stop to press the lift button, you hear the doors fling open, and a panting Park Jimin appears.
“Wait!” Jimin has his hands on his knees. “Le-let me drive you home.”
His eyes grow desperate as the lift doors open.
You owe him an explanation too. You hold the lift button as you turn towards him. “Will you?”
*
The drive home is silent up until he parks in front of your apartment. Neither of you make a move.
“2 months?” Jimin finally breaks the silence. “When did you find out?”
“After… after they fired me. They called me with the results from the free checkup. That’s how I found out.”
“So you knew when I called you?” Jimin’s heartbroken voice stabs you right in the gut.
There’s no excuse you could make for yourself. “It- it’s true though. Everything I said.”
“What?” Jimin looks and sounds like a puppy that’s been kicked.
“I did drag you into all of this. It was selfish to use you as my excuse the first time, and I couldn’t let myself go down that road anymore. You made all my Mondays better, but I made yours worse. You don’t deserve this. You deserve so much better than me, than all of this-“
“-but I want this,” Jimin grasps your hand and pulls it to his chest. “I don’t care if it’s selfish. All this while you’ve been assuming that you dragged me into this, that I was the unwilling party all along. But have you ever stopped to consider for one second that I might want this too? With you? That you made my Mondays better too?”
When you take a moment to look at his face, the Park Jimin that you’ve come to know and love over the past few months, the familiarity of him soothes you. The plump cheeks, rounded eyes, and the special smile he always has just for you. And he’s right. Never had you thought that he might want this- because why would he? How could he?
“You want this? But… why?” You are incredulous, unwilling to believe.
“Because I love you. And the thing growing inside you right now,” Jimin lets his emotions get the best of him, all the better to say the words he’s been struggling to say ever since he saw you that morning. And maybe it’s not the most romantic, but it’s filled with sincerity at the very least. “I’m in love with you, rash decisions and all. The day where you dragged me into your mess was the best day of my life. My Mondays have never been the same since.”
You can’t help but laugh aloud at how realistic his confession is. Classic Jimin style, savage as always. At the sound of your laughter, Jimin grins also, slightly shy from just pouring out his feelings like that, but proud of himself all the same.
“Granny knows, you know,” you say in between your laughter. “She knows we were faking it all along. And- oh! She came to visit me, you should come in and say hi to her.”
“What?” His comical gasp only sends you into another laughing fit. “Since when?! You could have told me sooner! She’ll spank me so hard for lying to her…”
“She’s not the only one who’ll be spanking you,” you can’t help but tease him, the opportunity is just too perfect.
“Agh! Don’t talk like that when my Granny is involved!!” Jimin buries his head in his hands in embarrassment.
You tug at his hands, opening your side of the door. “You have to come in, at least! She’ll be so happy to see you. To see us together again. She was the one who helped me with all of this you know.”
You drag a grumbling and still embarrassed Jimin inside, stopping every few seconds to tease him about his red ears and pinch his cheeks.
“Oh come on, Granny won’t be mad when she sees how cute you look. Wait, no. She’ll insist to feed us like there’s no tomorrow. She’ll say you lost your chubby cheeks,” you grin at him as you unlock the door, fully savouring the bubbly feeling in your stomach that makes you feel as if you are floating.
“Isn’t it good, though? It means I lost weight,” Jimin places a hand on his own face, as if to gauge whether his cheeks have slimmed down or not, still fretting over how Granny will react when she sees him.
“No! Of course it’s not good! You shouldn’t be losing any more weight, you’re perfect as is,” you drop your bag at the door and kick off your heels, groaning in relief. “Granny! We’re home!”
“That should be my line,” Jimin mutters under his breath as he braces himself to see Granny. But minutes pass, and he doesn’t see his beloved Granny.
“Hmm? That’s strange. Where did she go? She was just here this morning,” you mumble to yourself, walking towards the kitchen and wondering if she might be too immersed in cooking, but then you spot a scribbled note tacked to your fridge.
I left for Busan already, Puppy. You did well… I’ll leave you two alone. Side dishes in the fridge! Stay safe!
“Oh? Puppy? Why did she write that note to me? How did she know I’d be here?” Jimin is confused as he reads the note from over your shoulder.
You can’t help but smirk at his confusion. “Sorry, but Granny decided that the nickname belongs to me now.”
As Jimin protests with a pout, you can’t help but smile at Granny’s thoughtfulness. Seeing that your thoughts are somewhere else, Jimin rests his chin on your shoulder to demand for your attention like a cute puppy.
You turn to him and your attention is drawn to one of your favourite parts of him- his lips. Noticing that they are still a little dry, you frown and reach inside your pocket, taking out your favourite lip balm.
“Hold still. I’ve wanted to do this since this morning,” you place a hand on his chin and uncap the lip balm, dabbing and swiping it gently across his full lips. Though slightly dry, his lips are so soft and pliable under your touch, and the way he closes his eyes to enjoy your touch has you clenching your thighs together. With every swipe of the lip balm, his bottom lip looks plumper, and you can’t help yourself any longer.
Carelessly tossing aside the lip balm, you chase after his lips with your own, tasting the sweet peach flavour of the lip balm and feeling just how soft and cushiony Park Jimin’s lips are. He makes the cutest surprised little sound, eyes open for a second before he kisses you back with equal fervour.
You make sure to scrape your teeth against his plush bottom lip, fulfilling one of the fantasies you’d been dreaming about since this morning.
When you break away, Park Jimin has a teasing smile on his slightly swollen lips. “I guess that’s an efficient way to put lip balm on for two people.”
“Shut up already,” you say before you start to giggle all over again, and Jimin takes this as an invitation to go in for seconds.
“Since… since Granny said she’d leave us alone… shall we?” Jimin is somehow endearingly shy even though the two of you aren’t strangers to this.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
He tugs you into your bedroom eagerly, and on the way, you can’t help but grab a handful of his ass through his dress pants. Park Jimin pretends to be shocked as he turns around, arms around your waist as he makes you sit down on the bed gently.
“That’s sexual harassment, Ms.” His words contradict his actions as he runs his palms down your thighs, fingers dancing up your inner thigh.
“But I like your ass,” you say with a pout, imitating him and the way his cheeks puff up.
“I like yours better,” he says with an unabashed grin. “And I fucking love this suit on you. The moment you walked in this morning… I think Taehyung saw my boner.”
You can’t hide your squeal of embarrassment as you clasp a hand to your mouth, but Park Jimin only grins as he invites himself to undo the button on your pants.
“I said I really liked it… but I’m changing my mind. I want it off, now.” He bids you to lift your hips so that he can peel the pants off your legs, exposing your bare skin. His fingers on your skin makes your temperature skyrocket, and even more so when they tease at the edges of your underwear. He sees the damp patch in the centre, and glances upwards with raised eyebrows. “Are you wet already? I haven’t even done much yet…”
The cute way he glances through his bangs with the slight smirk on his lips makes you feel brazen. “I’m pregnant… I’m always wet these days.”
Park Jimin lets out a sharp exhale as he drags his thumb against the wet patch to feel for himself. You would be embarrassed were he not so clearly turned on by this, demonstrated by the urgency with which he pulls your underwear down and wedges his shoulders between your thighs. Without a single word, he kisses the inner flesh of your thighs, working his way up to where you need him the most.
It’s torture to watch his plush lips get closer and closer to your centre, until they finally envelope your swollen and aching clit. He wraps his lips around them and sucks, thick fingers digging into your inner thighs to keep them spread as he licks up every drop of your arousal. He eats you like a man starved, and your back arches under his ministrations. He gives your poor clit a break as he switches to broad flat licks with his tongue, and everything just becomes so much wetter. You can see that his chin is glistening, but he doesn’t mind in the slightest as he only spreads your legs wider, one thigh on each shoulder.
The lewd position in which you are in, seeing his golden head in between your thighs makes you want him even more. You are aching to feel him, to be closer than physically possible to him.
Jimin satisfies your hunger by introducing two fingers into you, and you whine at the stretch. His fingers have always been so deliciously thick, and he basks in your reaction.
“You like that? Like being filled with my fingers? Tell me how much you like it.” His vulnerable side shows through as he glances up at you while you thread your fingers through his soft hair.
“I missed this… missed you so much,” you voice comes out in a breathless whisper as you clench around him. You glance at him to see how he’s rolled back his sleeves to above the elbow, using his other hand to push his hair back and show off his forehead glistening with sweat and you swear you get a million times wetter at the sight.
“Like what you see baby?” Park Jimin shows off with a cocky little smile, pushing his hair back again just for good measure. He can feel how much wetter you are, and you can bet he’s not going to let this go just like that.
“Good looking bastard,” you swear under your breath as he rubs your clit with his thumb. “I sure hope our baby takes after you.”
“The good-looking part or the cocky part?” Jimin has the nerve to tease you, but you don’t have your wits to answer any more as he flattens his tongue against your clit, driving his fingers inside you just to send you over the edge.
Maybe it’s because you were deprived of his presence for the past week that this orgasm makes you realise how much you were starving for Park Jimin. Your thighs clench around him, shaking with mind numbing pleasure as he continues to thrust his fingers inside you.
He shows you no mercy as he continues to rub your clit slowly, the other hand stroking your inner thigh to soothe you. It’s characteristic of him, getting you used to the overstimulation whilst comforting you at the same time.
You push yourself up on your elbows, seeing the bulge in his dress pants and feeling the impatience fuel your actions. “I want to see you. Why are you still wearing these?”
He is preoccupied with licking the rest of you off his fingers as you struggle with the button on his pants, setting him free and reaching past his underwear to grasp his cock. The feeling of his thick length in your hands ignites a hunger inside you as you stroke him, running your thumb across his tip as he kicks away his pants. His abs tense as you palm his cock, and your mouth waters at the thought of running your tongue across them.
“I can’t wait to see you round and swollen with our baby,” Park Jimin says out of nowhere, his eyes hungry as he pushes your blazer off your shoulders, fingers working magic on the buttons of your shirt. He pushes that off your shoulders as well, eyes feasting on your breasts sitting so prettily in the cups of your bra. “And these. They’ll look so beautiful leaking with milk just for me.”
Jimin undoes your bra with ease, slipping the straps down your shoulders. He drags his thumb across your peaked nipple painfully slowly, then he pinches it sharply, eliciting a cry from you.
“The milk isn’t for you, it’s for our baby,” you remind him with a warning squeeze to his cock, sliding your own thumb through the messy tip.
Jimin meets your eyes with the cutest pout ever. “The baby can share. They’re not getting here for another few months yet.”
How he can look like a kicked puppy with your hands around his cock, you have no idea. The duality of Park Jimin will be the death of you someday. He crawls forward as your hands rid him of his last article of clothing, hungry to touch his bare skin and feel it against your own. Jimin makes sure your head is nestled comfortably against the pillows as he kisses his way down your body to your breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking, giving you a glimpse of what it would feel like when you do start producing milk later on.
You can feel his cock against your inner thighs as you cradle him with your body, feeling the hardness of his abs against your softer body, the curve of his ass. Jimin is still satisfying himself with sucking on your breasts, licking and teasing you to his heart’s content.
You twitch in response, feeling much more sensitive now that you’re a few months along, but Jimin looks as if he’s enjoying your breasts so much that you don’t have the heart to stop him. His fingers are delicately stroking your lower belly as he worships your breasts, muttering sweet nothings about how perfect you’ll be as the mother of his baby.
“Want your cock, now,” you urge him with your voice and reinforce it with your thighs nudging him into position. You feel the head of his cock blunt against you, and without taking his mouth off your nipple, he positions himself with one hand and enters you with a fluid thrust of his hips. As if he can’t take his mouth off your breasts for one second.
He continues to suck at your breasts as he fucks into you, the stretch of his cock and the welcome burn making you curl your thighs around him. Once he’s certain that you can take it, Park Jimin starts to pound into you with his cock, his rough thrusts contrasting with his gentle sucking and kissing.
He finally lets up with the assault against your breasts, pushing your thighs together and putting them on one shoulder. This suddenly display of strength has you gushing on his cock, and it only strokes his ego even more.
“You like getting fucked like this? Hm?” Jimin punctuates his filthy words with a particularly hard thrust that you can feel all the way to your cervix. “You like getting fucked so much, it was only a matter of time till you got knocked up like this.”
He watches your breasts bounce so deliciously, knowing that it is because of his fucking.
“I love it, fucking love it. Love you,” your reply is disjointed, every thrust of his hips sends his cock so deep inside you. “Want you to keep fucking me.”
“I will, baby don’t worry,” he places one hand on your hip and the other just under your breasts as he buries himself deep. “Give you all the babies you want.”
“Want you to cum inside me, give me all your cum,” you watch as his expression twists in pleasure, his cock twitching inside you as he pulls out almost all the way, only to slam back in. “Fill me up the way you did when you fucked a baby into me. Then I want you to fuck your cum into me.”
“Ahh, fuck,” he swears harshly under his breath, you always know just how to get him. Your cunt is so tight and warm around him, everything is so wet and he’s missed the feeling of you wrapped around him. He holds a tender hand to your lower belly. The thought that you’re giving him a baby, and he gets to be the one to hold you and fuck you and kiss you makes him feel like the luckiest man in the world. “I’ll come so soon.”
“Cum for me baby please,” you play with your nipples, putting on a show for him as he groans, thumb finding your clit as he struggles to hold himself back. “Want to feel your cum inside me. I want to be dripping with your cum.”
Jimin quickens his pace on your clit as his thrusts start to become sloppy, and he throws back his head as his abs tighten. With three more thrusts, he buries himself as deep as possible into your warm cunt, feeling himself unleash ropes of cum into your depths. You can feel how warm and sticky everything is, and the feeling of his cock pulsing inside you sends you into another orgasm as well.
True to his word, Jimin doesn’t pull out immediately, giving you lazy little thrusts to fuck his cum back into you as if the two of you were still trying to get pregnant. It’s the little, silly things that he does- making you prop your hips up, pulling out his cock so slowly and plugging you up with his fingers that makes you fall even deeper in love with this fool.
“I heard cum is good for the cervix if you’re pregnant,” he says by way of explanation as he watches globs of cum escape from your lips. He indulges himself by spreading it a little, before pushing it all inside you. “Softens it so you’ll have an easier birth.”
“Bullshit,” you giggle at him. “Next thing you’ll be telling me is that cum facials make me look younger.”
Jimin frowns indignantly. “I would never say something as ridiculous as that!” He’s never really been into painting your face white with cum, he’d rather save it all for your sweet pussy. “But that cervix one really is true- I read it on the internet!”
Jimin swipes two fingers through the mess that is your pussy, bringing it to his lips for one last suck before he cuddles in beside you. Suddenly, he freezes.
“I wasn’t too rough, was I? I didn’t hurt you?” He runs his hands down your body as if to check for any sore spots.
“It’ll be a while before I’m at that stage- so we should have all the kinky sex now before I’m too fat for you to tie me up,” you reassure him with your hand over his.
Jimin releases a breath against the back of your neck. “Kinky sex hm? I could be down for that.” There is a moment of silence as he draws mindless patterns on your lower belly, and your eyes flutter closed before you hear his soothing voice again. “I’m so excited to see our baby. I want more babies after this. Hey, we should have a gender reveal party. Or a baby shower. For real this time.”
It’s so adorable that he’s so excited about all this. “We should invite Yoongi too. I think they should have popped out their baby by now. I want to put Yeji to shame by being hotter than she was when she was pregnant.”
“Of course baby,” Jimin muffles his laughter into your shoulder. “We’ll do that.”
You hear your phone ping from somewhere far away, and it wakes you up just as you’re about to drift off to sleep. You stir Jimin awake with your elbow and make him fetch your phone for you. With many grumbles about how he better get extra kisses for this, he leaves the bed for a moment, and deposits your phone in your hands before snuggling back under the covers.
You unlock your phone and open your mail app. Your delighted gasp wakes Jimin once more, and he’s wide awake the next moment.
“What is it!? Did the baby kick?” He doesn’t stop to think when he’s alarmed, but it’s adorable.
“It’s too early for that,” you say as you do a double take at the words on your screen. You can feel the smile spreading across your face as you read the email again. Jimin sits up in bed and squints at your phone screen.
“I got a job offer!”
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xgiannax · 4 years ago
Text
Hey❕ I’ve just felt so terrible for the past few days, I have a head cold😕 which kinda scared me at first because with everything going on with the virus I kinda forgot that it was possible to be ‘regular sick’ if that makes sense? Idk 😭
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🦋The Dare Master🦋
“Hey, Y/N!” Kaminari pulled you in for a side hug and you gasped feigning shock
“Woah dude, what is that?! There’s this really strong force surrounding you. Almost like...The Force” he looked at you as if you were insane which made the girls relaxing in the lounge behind you snicker silently
“The Force? Y/N, what are you on? That stuffs not real-“
“Of course it is, why do you think magnets move toward each other so strongly?” You stumbled 100% sure that you would fail, there’s no way he’s going for this you groaned biting your lips.
“Yeah right, Y/N! Magnets come together because of magnetic force-.....FORCE! HOLY COW” Jirou almost cracked laughing loudly into a pillow on the lounge couch, You ignored her and shushed him quickly pulling him in by his arm
“Shh Shh! Listen, Denki. I don’t know how to say this, but I think you might have The Force” his eyes went wide looking around the room “Here, let’s start small. You see that empty cup in front of Ashido? Knock it over”
The two of us turned toward the group of girls and they quickly acted ‘natural’. He stared intently at the cup, Momo nudged the corner of the coffee table near her sending the cup flying to the ground rather convincingly. He quickly paled, you looked up at him stunned
“What if my power falls into the wrong hands? Does this mean the fate of the world is up to me?! *sigh* I guess today I’ve become a man. I’ve got to go, Y/N. I’ve got some..thinking, to do.” He brooded almost comically and disappeared toward the boys hallway, when he was out of ear shot all the girls erupted into laughter and a few cheers
“There is no damn way you actually just pulled that shit off!” Jirou shouted through laughter, you smirked
“I told y’all, truth or dare master. At this rate, I’m gonna be rich” your smug reply made Ashido squint mischievously, and something told you you weren’t gonna like what came next
“Hold on, hold on before the next person takes their turn... since you’re the ‘dare master’ your turn isn’t over, let’s make it all or nothing? “ you nodded skeptically
“Okay? What’s the dare?” Her grin widened
“Ignore your boyfriend, for the rest of the day” You paled, mouth instantly falling open
“What?! It’s only 3 o’clock now, so for how long?!”
“Until 9pm” all the girls ‘oooo’ed “Yep. She can’t do it”
“I can!” You protested
“Bet money you can’t, if you loose you owe us each 3$” she countered pulling out 3 singles from her pocket and slamming it on the coffee table, all the other girls followed doing the same thing.
“So? What’s it’s gonna be? Better choose quick here comes Kirishima now, you know Bakugou isn’t far behind him”
“Fine!” You hissed at her through clenched teeth
“Mhm. Meet here at 8:30, so that we can prove that you didn’t cheat. If you even make it that long”
“You’re on-“
“Y/N! Hey, how’s our gourgous girlfriend doing!?” You heard a angry growl and a thud shortly after “Ouch, okay okay I was kidding she’s only yours!” When you turned back all of the other girls had vanished accept for Momo, a witness you guessed. You piped up instantly and glanced at the clock
3:22 pm
“Hey, Kiri! What have you been up to?” He sat in front of you while your boyfriend slid comfortably beside you and grabbed your waist, nudging your neck with his nose to greet you. You wanted to melt. Even though the man was aggressive and angry most of the time, when it came to you touch was definitely his love language. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard, he didn’t seem to be in a talking mood today. Pshh I got this. You thought smugly
7:00 pm
You absolutely and positively do not have ‘this’. This was unbelievably hard and was only getting worse as the day progressed, he sent you meme after meme and it was taking everything in you not to respond to his text messages. You picked your phone up off the table and felt a pang in your heart, 30 missed text messages and 9 missed calls from him. There was a knock on your door and you knew it was him, so you forced yourself not to open it. But of course, he let himself in with the spare key and saw you laid across the bed
“Hey, dumbass. What the hell are you doing that you can’t text me back or answer me?!” He asked in his typical aggressive voice, you didn’t acknowledge him and continued to scroll through you phone. He slammed the door behind him and stormed in
“What is your issue, Y/N seriously” again, nothing. “Did I do something?” He asked gruffly, only slightly lowering his voice in concern. No response, he growled in frustration and stomped over to the bed hovering over you and trapping you with a hand on either side of your head
“If I did something just-just say it dumbass, I mean it!” The genuine concern in his voice almost made you break and hug him so he knew you weren’t actually mad. Instead, you turned your head away from him and bit your tongue
“Tch, fine! Fuck it then! You wanna ignore me? I can ignore you too” you half cheered and half frowned because now he was mad at you, but at least it would make ignoring him easier if he was ignoring you. The door to your room slammed shut and you let out a relieved breath.
8:30 pm
Feeling completely untouchable you sat in the dorm lounge area cross legged on the couch, Jirou was sulking slouched in a chair knowing that she only had 30 minutes. After Katsuki left earlier you left your dorm room so he wouldn’t be able to find you, you hung out with a couple of your classmates. The less you saw him the quicker you won.
“You wanna just give it up now, Jirou? I told you, I’m a legend at truth or dare” she glared at you, then her face suddenly lit up
“No way, don’t get too cocky we still have 30 minutes. Wait here...” she disappeared down the hall and you scoffed sinking comfortably into the cushions. About 15 minutes had gone by before you heard something that sent a chill down your spine
“Y/F/N FUCKING Y/L/N YOU BETTER RUN BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!” Your boyfriend boomed from down the hall, Jirou came running in out of breath. She bent over with her hands on her knees
“Better start gathering the money up, Y/N!” You glared at her
“What did you do-“
“Hey, out of my way!” He stormed in the room and locked eyes with you, to say he was fuming was an understatement “Wanna tell me why you went out with everyone but me?” You snapped your mouth shut and looked at the wall above his head, trying your hardest not to loose when you were so close
“UGH WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NOT TALKING TO ME? ACTUALLY, I DONT CARE YOURE GONNA TALK TO ME WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT-“ he was storming toward you and your eyes fell on the clock. 8:52. You couldn’t hide the grin that covered your face, he stopped his angry persuit and stared at you with hard eyes when he saw your goofy smile. He turned to Jirou, then turned back to look at you.
“What is it that you aren’t telling me, Y/N” he asked with a raised eyebrow stalking toward you, he smiled evily and you knew what was coming next. You grabbed a throw pillow and used it to cover your midsection, he pounced yanking it away from you with an evil laugh and you grabbed his wrists trying to hide your shocked giggles
“Come on, take the easy way out and just confess. Or I can get it out of you the hard way baby, you know I can” He growled, your eyes fell on the clock. 8:56. While you were distracted he pushed you back and dug both of his hands into your exposed armpits
“NAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA” You screeched thrashing around insanely with your arms clamped to your sides. He was merciless as he drilled his fingers deep into the hollows of your armpits and wiggled them quickly, there was no way you could take much longer of this. You shook your head side to side violently and arched your back trying to throw him off but of course failing. Just as you expect he didn’t let up or budge one bit
“ I don’t even feel bad for killing you like this dumbass, you’ve been ignoring me all day! Had me thinking I did something wrong- nope come here you’re not going anywhere! Move your hands, you deserve this!” Katsuki pulled you back on the couch and forced your hands to the side blowing raspberries all over your stomach and wrecking your armpits at the same time, after about 4 raspberries you lost count and fell into silent laughter. Through your teary eyes you saw the time and you felt more relief than ever. 9:02. Any relief you felt washed away almost instantly when he ruthlessly squeezed and poked at your knees and thighs, by now you had no energy to fight and you just laid weak and completely wrecked screaming your head off. Bakugou would usually tickle and tease you often and could be pretty relentless.
But this time, he completely destroyed you which you no doubt deserved for taking the stupid dare, you tried to scold yourself mentally but couldn’t think about anything other than how incredibly crazy he was driving you kneading into your inner thighs
“STOHOHOP I CANHAHAT TAKE ANYMORE! AHAHA ITWASADARE” he stopped looking down at you with a glare
“What did you just say?”
“It was a dare. I was *hiccup* supposed to ignore you for the dare” You slurred completely out of breath and tingling from his attack. Jirou crossed her arms swearing
“Shit, well I guess you won Y/N. I’ll tell the girls, we’ll bring you the money later” she sulked off and your boyfriend stared down at you pretending like he was mad at you
“You mean to fucking tell me that you ignored me all day for a damn bet?!”
“No! I mean yeah, but not on purpose?” Your nervous talking was a result of the look he was giving you that told you he wasn’t done with you yet or anytime soon.
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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years ago
Conversation
RP Meme from Oliver & Company
Now, it's always once upon a time in New York City.
It's a big old bad old tough old town.
Let me have one, please.
Right away, you're making time and making friends
If they pick you out, you're on your way.
Get out there and go and try.
Why does nightfall find you feelin' so alone?
Dreaming is still how the strong survive
Keep your dream alive.
Got to look out and open your eyes,
You're in the fast lane
What's the matter with you? I said get outta here.
I don't eat cats. It's too much fur.
I've been watching you, and I think you're in serious need of some professional guidance.
I'm an expert at these things.
All you gotta do is learn some moves.
This city's got a beat.
When are we gonna get those hot dogs?
I hate to break it to ya, but the dynamic duo is now the dynamic uno.
Our partnership is herewith dissolved.
You're not being fair!
Fairs are for tourists, kid.
Consider it a free lesson in street savoir faire
Hey, wait! I helped you get those! Half of those are mine!
Why should I worry? Why should I care?
I got street savoir faire
You can wear the crown!
Everything goes.
Everything fits.
They love me at the Chelsea, they adore me at the Ritz!
Stop that racket! I'm trying to watch this show.
Shut up, you little rodent.
Come on, let's watch some boxing. I wanna see some action
You think this place is big enough?
What we need is some good quality stuff
Oh, shredded leather.
You insulted my pride! That means death!
It was your turn to get the food today!
You remain our preeminent benefactor.
It was tough. Only I could have done it.
I love a story with food in it.
Enter the opposition.
Gang war! Gang war! Watch out! Here comes a gang war!
Take cover!
It's just a cat.
I followed this dog.
He's lying! He's lying! He's lying! He's lying!
Oh, boy! Dog pile!
Don't let me down!
What do you got?
Let's see what you got.
I was just on my way out.
Actually, I've got something much better than money.
Some luxury items that should make a considerable dent in my debt to you.
Oh, my! You waxed your car, didn't you? Did they use the buffer on it, because I can see myself.
I don't think you grasp the severity of the situation.
Now, I lent you money and I don't see it.
People like you get hurt.
I can't figure out why you'd rather hang around a dump like this when you could be living uptown with a class act like myself.
Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
You bad, man.
Hey, you got something to say to me, fat boy?
Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
Oh, I'm having a bad day!
I like cats. I like to eat 'em.
Your master's calling.
Come on and say it to my face!
How am I ever gonna come up with all that money?
It's hopeless.
That took a lot of guts.
All right. Time for bed. We've got a big day tomorrow.
We've got two days to do or die.
You got a lot to learn. And if you don't learn, you don't eat!
But if you're tough, and always use your head, you'll be right at home, on the street.
When you got talent, everything is free.
You're gonna see how the best survive.
These are streets of gold.
You'll take the town, and you'll take it with style.
You're in charge of electronics.
Hey, but what about me? What do I do?
Ready? Go!
What have I done? Poor thing.
You oughta be ashamed of yourself!
Run along, little fellow. Go on, now. Shoo.
Be a lookout.
I only got one more wire, okay?
Oh, you poor kitty. Here. Let me help you.
Where's the kid?
We can't just take in a stray off the street.
Don't worry, kitty. I'll take care of you.
Your public awaits.
Girl, we've got work to do
Pass me the paint and glue.
Perfect isn't easy
When one knows the world is watching, one does what one must.
See how the breeding shows
Sometimes it's too much for even me!
But when all the world says "Yes", then, who am I to say "no"?
Don't ask a mutt to strut like a showgirl
Perfection becomes me, ne c'est pas?
I'm beauty unleashed!
So classic and classy
They're barking up the wrong tree!
I have your hearts, and you have my pity
Pretty is nice, but still it's just pretty!
I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
What is the meaning of this?
I guess I'll have to handle this myself.
And do you have any idea whose home this is?
Isn't he cute?
What in Heaven's name are we waiting for?
Alas, our beleaguered benefactor bearing the brunt of our futile endeavours.
Cool it!
Our mission begins at daybreak.
I don't hear any practicing.
Oh, you wanna practice too!
We two can be good company.
You and me, just wait and see.
I'll handle that ruffian.
Body slam! Body slam! Oh, come on, you fool! Hit him! Hit him!
Come back here!
Huh, this place looks pretty nice. I mean, how bad off could it be here?
Chagall. Matisse. These are all masterpieces.
Hey, man, if this is torture, chain me to the wall.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down.
Don't come any closer! I knew this would happen one day.
It's not you I'm after.
Not good enough for you?
I mean, do you even know who I am?
GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU LITTLE BUG-EYED CREEP!
Something's not quite right here.
Shh. Quick. Before he comes back. Follow me.
I mean, let's just forget the whole thing.
No, no, you can't do that! You don't understand. The poor dear's so traumatized.
What is going on here?
Hurry. Use the fire escape.
Ooh, I could've danced all night! I could've danced all night!
You were very good.
I was rather good, wasn't I?
You okay, kid?
I have another home now. And someone who loves me.
You're in the gang.
I just wanna go back.
You wanna leave? Fine! There's the door.
You lighten up!
Oh, it's hopeless.
Looks like you're doing all right for yourself
So that's where you've been!
Feel it. That's it. Very good.
This is an airtight plan
I'll even toss in a little extra for your patience.
It's my final offer. Take it or leave it.
I said, push!
No, you don't kill 'im yet.
Did we bring something green and wrinkly to make me happy?
I'm getting your money tonight! It's coming tonight!
Hey, I think there's hope for you yet.
Yeah, you're starting to think big.
It's creepy down here.
I drew a perfectly good map.
A child could read that map.
I didn't do it! I didn't do it! I was framed!
This is a tough neighborhood. You'd better go home.
I came to find my kitty.
You brought a piggy bank.
What kind of a person would steal a poor little kitty?
I'm so scared. I don't know what to do.
I found a little lost kitten.
No! No, wait! You can't do this!
Keep your mouth shut.
Stop! Stop! Time out!
There's gotta be some way in.
Peasants.
Well, it's nice to see that one of you has some manners.
After you, my little croissant
And remember, quiet.
Oh! I broke a nail.
Oh, balderdash.
Freeze!
I don't think you really appreciate the situation. Somebody could get hurt.
You smell that?
It's party time!
Where are those dogs?
I thought I'd never see you again.
What's the occasion? Come to rescue your little friend?
All right! What a woman!
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go
This has all been very entertaining. But the party is over.
Hey, man, you're ugly!
Aah! Save me!
Hey, get off my back, woman! I'm driving!
All right, anybody want some cake?
Murder him! Twist his arm!
The gifts were great.
We'll start with a bath.
You know, you're not so bad for a bug-eyed little creep.
You come back here this minute!
Tell me why should I care
What a delightful scoundrel.
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darkelite020 · 3 years ago
Text
Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 7
Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb
- Ruby? Did I forget? Who/what is Ruby? -- Oh ok. Interesting bounty I suppose. - Wrecker and Omega have a completing mission tradition? That is SO cute. - Hooded person is here >>  -- I’m still holding out on my rex or ahsoka predicition because I think it would make sense for the sisters to call them since theyre friends with ahsoka and obviously she knows about clones and Rex is/was with her last we saw him... but the hooded persons eyes definitely aren’t ahsokas so I think it’s rex and if it is Im gonna be so happy - “Thats not her ugly side?” FFF Tech you bastard I love you - I SEE THE WHITE AND BLUE ARMORED ARM IM GONNA SCREAM - I’M SCREAMING -- REX I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN AHHHHH --- I KIND OF POKED FUN AT MYSELF THIS WEEK REBLOGGING A MEME OF A GRANDMA SAYING ‘REX WILL BE IN THE NEXT EPISODE’ AND SOME YOUNGER PERSON EXCORTING THEM AND SAYING SOMETHING LIKE ‘OK GRANDMA LETS GET YOU INSIDE’ OR SOME SHIT BUT **VIOLENTLY POINTING AT THE SCREEN** MY LOVE IS HERE - Cid shut the fuck up he is a KING how dare you - Oh no. Oh god. “thats a long story.” Is he going to talk to him about his pov with 66 and about the ship and Jesse AND FIVES OH FUCK -- So it skipped to Rex talking about the end of the war but we didn’t hear really the story itself, and I really hope thats not all we get when it comes to him talking about the people he and at least echo knew. Like if he talked about Fives learning about the chips and not being listened to and that resulted in 66 because of the chips where activated and made them betray the jedi but we get no reaction from Echo I’m going to be pretty disappointed honestly. Like I get the bad batch not really knowing the squad so they have excuses but Echo did, and I really hope they don’t do the thing “Oh well Echo was caught by droids so now he doesn’t care about them anymore” because... that sucks. Like honestly Echo wasn’t even super crazy about seeing Rex either tbh (I get that Echo feels like he doesn’t fit in with regs and thats all fine and dandy) but it kinda feels like he doesn’t give a shit about what he’s gone through with other people. ---Rambling and getting off topic now because I have some shit between Echo and Fives: but if thats the case like we all know it fucked up Fives when he thought Echo was dead so if Echo isn’t the same way about Fives I guess thats just like... depressing and it sucks because everyone sees them as “that duo”. Again we really don’t know what Rex said exactly so its possible it didnt get brought up but if it did...  - Wrecker picking up Rex is so cute but you can see the fucking worry in Rex’s eyes for being picked up by him cause Wrecker would throw him and agjsdb I love it. - Omega straight up being like “youre old” while looking at Rex’s face PFFT no filter kid. - REX KNOWS ABOUT WRECKER -- Good I’m very happy Rex is calling them out on this inhibitor chip shit. ‘Oh crosshair was just an exception’ should definitely not be an excuse. - Oh alright so the glimpse in the trailer was a junkyard and not the same thing. Same kind of ship but not where the graveyard is. Honestly thats kind of a relief. - OH SHIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT FIVES NOW THEY ARE BRINGING HIM UP IM GONNA CRY ABOUT FIVES ALL OVER AGAIN -- wait.... now I don’t know if they know or not about him. - The scenery in this show is really pretty im just gonna go ahead and give some appreciation. - Oh no Wrecker! Pull up the rope!!!!!! He can climb but you can also pull him!!!! -- Thank god. - Omega talking about if something goes wrong? It’s not like theyre all gonna die at the same exact time.... like theyre only gonna do the surgery one at a time so... Omega what are you imagining sis? Like if one person turns? It’s still kind of unlikely that they could defeat the other very talented people in the room. - OH SHIT TECH YELL FOR HELP - HEY THIS HURTS MY FEELINGS DAVE HEY HEY -- LIKE YEAH THEY CANT POSSIBLY KILL THEM ALL CAUSE THE SHOW NEEDS TO GO ON BUT HEY --- Lowkey predicting they could all turn by the end of the show season cause like if they dont beat wrecker and cant use the medical bay then they are fucked. Also especially think this is gonna happen because one of the directors literally said the second half of season 1 is gonna get emotional and holy shit can you imagine. ---- WHAT IF THEY DO AND ITS JUST OMEGA AND REX TEAMING UP TO SAVE THEM HOLY SHIT AND ITD GIVE EVEN MORE OF A MEANING TO THE WORDS “THE BAD BATCH” - Holy shit this fight Wrecker grabbed ECHO BY HIS FUCKING FACE - Ok I was seriously wondering about Omega’s concerns but now HOLY SHIT CAUSE THATS ALL I CAN SAY LIKE THEYRE NOT DEAD BUT OH MY GOD I DIDN’T THINK ITD GO DOWN LIKE THIS - THANK YOU REX OUR HERO - I know we’re all having a moment after Wrecker but can you guys like team up to move him off the table and get your own done like even if its a bit risky cause we don’t need a repeat of what just happened like yeah theres not enough time in the episode for it but still - The *immediate* little head pat “Hey kid” ;-;
- Ok I’m glad theyre getting them out - THE GENTLE REASSURING TOUCHES IN THIS EPISODE *deep breath* ARE GIVING ME SERATONIN  - Wreckers apology ;-; THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD AND CUTE - Rex is leaving already? :( Be safe you funky little space soldier. - Not really surprised the empire is gonna know they were there cause it was only a matter of time but if theyre smart theyd get off planet and back to Cid before the empire gets there to see whats up.  -- Im sure they’ll realize they removed their chips though, I wonder if crosshair will show up (he probably will) but if he does rather its gonna be a fight there between the empire and bb maybe the bb can win and save crosshair or they have to retreat and something else goes on idk. - Would love if Crosshair was saved because he really got the short end of the stick and is being called “the bad batch” but like he’s not even really there with them for the show so far... also you can tell subtly that he doesn’t like being alone which is fucking sad :tm: because all his friends are gone and it hurts even more now because wrecker was talking about how he didn’t want to do things and he was trying not to hurt them and stuff in his apology and you know damn well Crosshair is the same way about his friends he’s probably just a lot less expressive about it.  -- Honestly even bad batch aside can you imagine how terrible all of the clones feel like all the regs over all knowing theyre the downfall of the jedi and thinking that they were trying to resist it too. Like they know whats happening and deep inside theyre themselves but they cant do shit about it. That fucking hurts me.  This is a longer post but this episode was a roller coaster for my emotions.
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all-things-mlqc · 4 years ago
Note
Boys reaction to MC who never have date before meeting them. Like, the boys as MC's first love.
My first HC on here and I was memeing half the time while writing it. Included what the boys would do after hearing this news as well because why not. I’m not a Lucien fan but lord have mercy on my soul, I couldn’t help making his romantic af. He is the ideal boyfriend/date minus the l i e s that come in the MS and I hate it. All the crossed out stuff is just commentary because I couldn’t help myself. Hope you enjoy~ Thank you for your ask <3
How the MLQC boys react to being MC’s first love below the cut~
Victor:
Follows with some snarky comment after he calls her “Dummy”.
Let’s be real here, if he doesn’t call her dummy immediately, then something is wrong. Reminds me of when we streamed the first episode of MLQC and we were all yelling “CALL US BAKA” the second Victor came on screen.
While he seems cool and collected on the outside, you can hear the computer shutdown sound play on the inside.
To him, this is a shocking confession.
Victor: I’m not surprised a dummy like you hasn’t been in a serious relationship before.
Victor, internally: How has she never been in a serious relationship before??
He’s not very good at expressing himself honestly through his words but he truly admires MCs hardworking nature.
He finds that very attractive in a woman and is surprised that other men in the line of business haven’t taken their shot with her yet. it’s because they can feel your death stare on the back of their heads, kind sir
One thing he struggles with is being himself. He tries to act like everything is in his control all the time.
Because of this, upon hearing MCs confession, he invites her to a fancy dinner at his penthouse insert Victor’s Dazzling Date because THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. Jkjk haha... unless...
He wants to impress her as much as possible even though he knows deep down that she doesn’t care about what a person has and rather how they are as a person
BUT ALAS. The stress be real for her first boyfriend.
He wants her to know she made a good decision without verbally telling her out of his own bitch mouth I love you, please call me baka so he goes over the top with their first date.
Basically pulls a Mr. Krabs when taking Mrs. Puff on a date. Just add shades to Mr. Krabs to represent Victor’s “I’m calm. I’m chill. I’m all good. We vibin out here.”
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All MC wants from him is his honest and genuine thoughts. and a lifetime stock of pudding because good god a girl has chocolate needs
MC eventually figures out Victor’s intentions with all the gifts he rains on her because hE dOesNt nEeD tHeM he can’t give her anything more than a cup of pudding up front
MC knows this and accepts the secret gifts with a smile.
She sends a gift in return to his office the following day along with a thank you for the wonderful date.
Can you hear that? It’s the sound of Victor’s heart rate slowing to the average persons.
Kiro:
insert pikachu meme
This boy is mind blown.
“How have you never been in a relationship before??? That can’t be true!”
Kiro sees the good in everyone, so hearing that MC has never been in a relationship before him is
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He gives her a bright smile and playfully hugs her from behind.
The two of them laugh together as he whispers genuinely in her ear,
“I promise to make you happy. You won’t regret it.”
He immediately drags her off to Loveland’s Amusement Park, where they spend the whole day together.
Rides, snacks, games, you name it, they did it all.
Kiro naturally spoils MC without putting much thought to it.
It’s like a reflex for him. It’s just who he is as a person. Always wants to share the happiness in the world with the people he cares about.
As for how anxious he is after hearing the news about being MC’s first love, he is screaming at a pitch only dogs can hear.
Almost 100% of the time he has a smile on his face and even convinces himself that he’s not worried about it.
But he is.
It only hits him when he thinks about another man taking MC away from him after seeing her talking with another guy.
MC will catch him without his carefree smile at times and eventually confronts him about it.
He shows her a wide smile and says there’s nothing to worry about.
L I E S. BABIE LEMME HOLD YOU I PROMISE YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY.
After a few attempts of trying to get Kiro to open up about it, he gives in and says he’s worried he’s not good enough for her HAHAHHA, GOOD ONE KIRO
MC, however, turns it around on him
MC: I’m afraid IM the one who isn’t good enough for you.
They both smile and embrace each other, knowing they’ll get through any little concerns like this.
Gavin:
He knows.
We’re talking about the boy who has been in love with MC since high school; Who has protected her behind the scenes ever since he laid eyes on her.
He would know if she had been in a previous or current relationship.
It only comes as a shock when she says she’s never been interested in anyone else romantically before. Lies. Have you seen the other suitors, MC. In a world where guys are that hot, you must’ve had at least 1 crush, c’mon sis.
Gavin respected her personal boundaries and never looked into her personal affairs so he had very little knowledge of her views on other guys.
He gets a little bit nervous, since he believes her standards must be high if she hasn’t been interested in anyone else before.
Does the full on soldier oath, bend the knee cliche which includes “I promise to always protect you” and “Nobody will ever be good enough for you”
Mc: Gavin no...
Gavin: NOBODY WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
Spoiler alert: You are waayyyyy too good for me, Gavin.
He doesn’t have too much anxiety over the thought of being MC’s first love though since he’s very good at staying true to himself and knows MC is one to admire that about others.
Gavin is a quiet guy in general. He’s more of an observer and watches MC to take note of what she enjoys.
When he sees her eyes shine bright after seeing a delicious dessert cafe, he offers to take her. He makes sure to express how he also wants to go since he knows she won’t accept unless he is interested as well.
Boy literally has no interests the moment he’s with MC. He is essentially that vine
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Doesn’t even wait until the question is over and just “Absolutely. Let’s do it”
MC: But I haven’t even said anything yet...
He isn’t much different from how he is now. Has around the same amount of anxiety just from being in MCs presence.
Boy just wants to PROTECC and is always panicking on the inside but tries to remain calm.
He is very good at calming his anxiety though since he’s had so long to understand what MC values and knows she just loves people for themselves.
That’s all he needs.
Lucien:
His eyes widen slightly at MCs confession.
It’s nothing too mind blowing for him since he knows how refined MC is and how dedicated she is to her work.
It’s still surprising to him that nobody has tried to sweep her off her feet yet.
With how kind MC is, it would be hard for her to refuse a date with a gentleman.
Lucien gently presses a kiss to MCs hand upon hearing her confession.
Lucien: I am honored to be given the opportunity TO WOO to take such a beautiful lady out on a date~ AND MORE PLEASE
Lucien is the definition of a gentleman shhhh we aren’t speaking of current chapters in the main route Lucien. Cover your eyes. Pretend you do not see.
With little to no anxiety showing on his face after the reveal that he is MCs first love, he insists on taking her out to a nice restaurant the most classy and romantic 5 star restaurant Loveland City has to offer as a way to thank her for dealing with his bs (both his bullshit and black swan hahaha I’m so funny oml) being given the opportunity to treat her as a beautiful young lady should be treated.
He’s also more on the less anxious side of being MCs first love.
Lucien is a traditional man and does stuff by the book.
Because of this, he respects and likes the idea of being MCs first love.
He doesn’t go over the top yet isn’t cliche with dates and little actions.
He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. Though he may struggle with being openly honest about his own thoughts and feelings, he tries his best to express himself for MC. a lot of the time he just assumes talking to her about his personal affairs would bring her down.
This, however, gets better overtime as they continue to date.
They spend a lovely evening at dinner together and take a midnight stroll through the city oh god city stroll PTSD
He gently wraps his jacket around her bare shoulders with a soft smile as he thanks her once again for believing in him believing he is worthy of her
Bonus:
Shaw:
Shaw, smirking: Is that so?
Oohhhhh you know what that smirk does to me. DOWN BOY D O W N.
He’s surprised but his reaction is very mutual.
His internal thoughts are more on the line of “Hmm I’m her first boyfriend, aye?” and “OYA OYA”
He very likely most definitely places his hand on the wall beside her head and leans in closely to get a reaction from her as he growls,
Shaw: So that means you really like me, yeah? I’m making this way too hot gdi. Shaw stans please enjoy your food
MC looks up to see that same playful smirk resting on his face.
highkey don’t know how to respond because Im just “ok think of 3 things she would probably say and go from there” while my brain just computer error sound
MC: and what about yourself? I’m sure there are tons of girls throwing themselves at you yet you choose me.
He pulls away and places his hands in his pockets with a chuckle.
Shaw: I’ve had my fair share before.
iVe HaD mY fAiR sHarE bEfoRe MY ASS
I’m convinced he’s had one time things with girls purely for information or he isn’t the least bit interested in relationships because he thrives on stimulation and entertainment and nOboDy iS gOoD eNouGh plus he literally asks what people do on dates when taking mc out in his first date in game SO
Either way, this is a LIE. The man can’t relationship for the life of him so he has no RIGHTS to tease her.
Just let him believe or you can try to tease him about it in hopes of getting a little pouty face out of him.
Honestly, their first date would just be the first date we got in the game and nobody can convince me otherwise.
Shaw is a wild child and doesn’t care for romantic dates. at least that’s what he wants you to think
A little insight on his character: He’s very blunt and easily pushes people away all the while keeping them close enough to gather intel. He doesn’t get emotionally attached to anyone and makes sure it’s mutual on both ends. Personal relationships only drag him down, especially in his line of work. He prioritizes other things before relationships which makes him so damn FRUSTRATING BUT I SWEAR I WILL CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE A WALNUT JUST YOU WATCH ME.
With that being said, after actually being in a relationship with MC for a while and opening up about their personal lives more, Shaw can be very romantic. He may be awkward for a bit at first since he literally doesn’t know what a date is but he gets there eventually.
He’s still full of fun but is also very gentle and makes sure MC is enjoying herself.
I got sidetracked with the actual HC on this one but Shaw stans need food I NEED FOOD
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what-kinda-fuckery · 5 years ago
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Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!
- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.
Christian: Oh alright!
Host: nO Christian not you
- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.
- Brandon is with his parents in NJ
- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other
- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right
- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?
Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)
- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!
- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.
- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT
they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin
- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV
Andrew: I’m watching this is America
Stephanie: SO GOOD
Andrew: SO GOOD
- Everyone’s having hard days
- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up
- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD
Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!
Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.
Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!
- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television
HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM
Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute
Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY
Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.
- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice
Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin
- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.
Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus
- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.
Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)
HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY
HE SAID IT WASNT A THING
HE DIDNT HAVE ONE
Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened
Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)
- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”
Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina
Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA
- Tracie what did you do during act 1
Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half
Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE
- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there
- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways
Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look
Everyone dies laughing
Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY
- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨
Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)
- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”
- Betsy comes back and everyone is like
YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!
- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal
- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top
Betsy: I would give anything to have that
- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together
Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral
Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH
- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?
Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped
Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them
Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around
Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou
Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son
Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*
Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH
Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU
Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly
Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER
Oh Anthony.
- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.
Christian: SLOWER
Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”
EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME
Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story
- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:
Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???
Christian: No no it was something like:
WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??
Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???
Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show
- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness
Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do
- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason
Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it
Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity
Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news
Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast
- Tracie always had a funny thing to say
- Who broke character the most on stage?
Anthony Stephanie and Christian
Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional
Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry
- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”
- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down
And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger
- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening
And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING
Tracie: Christians throwing up right now
Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON
- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth
Christian: Practice practice practice
Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen
Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from
That’s why
- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic
Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*
- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special
FLaT aS a LaKe
- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds
Christian: what? what? what?
Who is it?
What’s going on?
- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be
Anthony said Mendel
Tracie said Mendel
Brandon said Trina
Andrew said marvin
Betsy said whizzer
Stephanie said Mendel
And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops
- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?
Christian: Greaat.
Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it
Everyone: WHAT
- They still get fan art
Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS
- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre
- Christian talking about little shop
Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it
- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference
Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible
- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill
- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)
Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes
- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??
Proceed everyone dying
Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning
- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through
- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*
Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about
Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??
Christian: We have a lot of fun
- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me
- Christians pretending to be frozen
Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE
NO CHRISTIAN
Everyone accusing each other of being frozen
NO YOURE FROZEN
- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen
Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen
Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me
- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together
Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???
Christian: That’s a question only you can answer
- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT
Christian: that scared the shit out of me
- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work
Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?
- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no
Betsy: I’m right here!!!
Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)
Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling
- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.
Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story
Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY
- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve
Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre
- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.
Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?
Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS
Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner
Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD
Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up
- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later
- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”
Tracie having stage fright
Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away
- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once
Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed
- Steph: We lost andrew oh no
Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing
- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful
- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays
That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee
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ad1thi · 4 years ago
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@starklysteve me?? spamming you w recs because i love talking about my ships?? more likely than you think :)) (here’s some rhodeytony to get you started on what is objectively the best tony ship)
i place your hands around my neck:  @fanfictiongreenirises
"Rhodey could practically feel his lungs getting heavier again, weighed down by roots of plants that he’d thought would never take hold in him again."
Or: the one where Rhodey's been pining over Tony for much longer than either of them realised and develops the Hanahaki disease
Pretend We’re In Love (The Heartache Still Hurts): @marvelingjules
Rhodey's dad is dying, and what he's always wanted is for Rhodey to be happily married. Tony and Rhodey were best friends, and haven't spoken in years. But after a chance meeting at the airport, and a desperate, insane idea on Rhodey's part, they end up pretending to be engaged.
But how much of it is really pretend?
i can’t seem to get a grip, no matter how i live with it:  @psikeval
Tony knows he's got no business being a father.
A Million Shades of Blue: @notfknapplicable
“I just know that if I could get to wherever he is, I could find him. Dead or alive, I'd bring him back to us.”
James Rhodes will never stop searching for Tony Stark.
Twenty Five Years: @notfknapplicable (part of a series)
Nobody knows how long this has actually been going on. (Tony Stark has pretty much been in a monogamous relationship since he was 18 years old.)
Leave The Light On: @notfknapplicable (part of a series)
He was never doing this for fun. He'd just wanted to stay awake. And whatever you do, please don't tell that guy he's been fucking. He kinda likes him.
coloured in sun: @heleus
The one in which Anthony Edward Stark, having just reached the warm age of seventeen, realizes that he's in love with his best friend.
(The idea is terrifying.)
the planets that bend us: @deathsweetqueen
When Antonia Margaret Stark wakes up on her sixth birthday, it’s to the words: I didn’t get any sleep last night after that fucking lawn mower decided that 7 in the morning would be a perfect time for him to start his day, right outside my room.
She runs a thumb over the long string of words, wrapping around her wrist like a thick leather band.
She smiles.
She’s fourteen when she meets James Rupert Rhodes for the first time.
Written for the "more than a partner" square (S3) for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019 and the "soulmate" square for the Iron Husbands Bingo 2019
we rattle together in a bed of honey: @deathsweetqueen
Toni first met James Rhodes in Cellular Neurophysiology and Computing, when she was fourteen and trying very hard to stay in the shadows. She stumbles into the classroom, clutching her books and binders and pencil case close to her chest, as she stares at everything, wide-eyed and hungry and terrified. She seizes on the contempt, the confusion, the incredulity of the other freshman who look at her like she’s an incongruity – she’s used to that look, all that hate and derision.
She eats it up like chocolate cake.
Much to her luck, all the seats are filled, all except for one towards the middle of the row, a table shared only by a tall, handsome black boy, sleeping on top of the counter.
a winding road that stretches to the truth: @/coulddaughter (this author ostensibly has a tumblr but im unable to locate it -- so if anyone knows what their tumblr is please let me know so i can tag them!)
“Why do you need a date? Also, no offence, but why did you come to me? I stole, like, four of your girlfriends and at least two boyfriends, remember.”
“I do remember that, Tony,” said Jim, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No, I need you to come on a date with me.”
Love in the Eyes:  @child-of-sunshine
The moment each of the Avengers realized Tony and Rhodey were in love.
The Curious Case Of The Discarded Condom:  @/AssvengersArsemble
Natasha, Clint and Steve get just a little nosy about Tony's love life. Tony finds it extremely amusing they can't see what's right under their noses.
takes a lot of love and compliance: @gyzym
She's born breech, feet kicking out before the rest of her screams free; she's born breech, and never stops running. (Rule 63!Tony)
Targeted Persuasion: @galwednesday
Jim opened Tony's most formal closet and started pulling out tuxedos. "Put one of these on.”
"Why?"
"We're getting married."
Tony froze. "No, we're not."
"Oh yes we are." Jim tossed three tuxedos onto the bed. Three was a good number of options, enough for Tony to make a choice, but not so many that he'd get lost analyzing the ramifications of navy pinstripes vs. charcoal paisley. Tony did best with clear, specific expectations rather than an unlimited universe of possibilities that he would inevitably filter through his neuroses and obsess over, and Jim was really kicking himself for not considering that, oh, ten years ago when they’d first started this, but there was no point in beating himself up about it now when he could put that energy towards solving the problem instead. "You brought this on yourself, Tones. Pick a damn tux."
Five thousand roses: @/forestgreen
She is broken and all the more dangerous for it. The world should tread carefully around the shards of her former self lest they cut themselves on Antonia Stark's sharp edges.
A Guide to Handling the Unhandleable Tony Stark:  @/nightrider101 (this is ab a/b/o verse)
Written for the following prompt on the Avengers Kink meme: The rest of the Avengers assume Tony is an unbound Omega by the way he acts. He's reckless and carefree and does what he wants. Imagine their surprise when they find out that Rhodey is Tony's Alpha. They're all confused at the way Rhodey lets Tony act and how they can be away from each other for long periods of time and Rhodey's just like 'He didn't want to give up his career and I didn't want to give up mine. And I gave up trying to tell Tony what to do years ago.'
It’s Not Bacon Until It Ceases To Be Bacon: @sobebold
Tony has lived with his best friend Rhodey for fifteen years, and everything is perfect.
Until Rhodey finally gets a boyfriend, and Tony's world gets turned upside down.
by any name: @machi-kun
Tony calls him ‘mine’, sometimes.
And he also calls him platypus, honeybear, sugarplum, all those stupid nicknames; but James’ favorite will always be ‘mine’.
Tutor Me: @wisiaden
Tony really wants James Rhodes to be his math tutor. The guy was hot, and if he had to play dumb, well, he can say he hates math.
run and hide: @/starksrhodey
Tony may or may not have a crush on football captain James Rhodes.
Or, Tony is extremely insecure, Pepper knows best, Steve likes to bake, Bucky loves red heads, and Rhodey keeps trying to talk to Tony.
This Is The Real Life: @blancheludis
It takes doing the laundry for Tony to realize he is completely, irrevocably in love with Rhodey. Who knew that the way to Tony Stark's heart is to teach him how to wash his clothes.
Anything For You Darling: @areiton
Tony is sitting on the balcony of his palace in Malibu, and Rhodey hates it, more than he's ever hated anything, watching his best friend stare at the water, limmed by the sun and utterly alone.
"She's dead," Tony says, before Rhodey can ask and he feels his breath catch, his heart stumble.
There's--
Grief. For pretty, troubled Maya with her big eyes.
Heartbreak. For a sweet infant who will never know the mother who gave him up, whose life will never be exposed, now.
Relief. Because Harley is safe. Safe. Gods, he's safe.
or
Rhodey helps Tony raise his son.
it goes like this (just like heroin): @quandongcrumble
He’s twenty-six and you’re twenty-eight and you get a midnight phone call from Obadiah and between the two of you, you manage to beg and bully until you can fly back to the States and sit beside the white hospital bed while they say words like heroin and accidental overdose and that Tony should pull through but Tiberius might not wake up.
It goes like this—for almost sixteen years Tony’s addiction problems are a blight on Rhodey’s relationship with him. Friendships crack and trust is shattered, over and over again.
motor oil and coconut oil: @/halfasgoodasanything
James loves his best friend. He's entirely supportive of his friendship and his almost relationship with Steve Rogers. He is! He is. Carol and Pepper seem to think otherwise, but he's cool. Loving Tony doesn't mean no one else can. Even if he wanted to.
lost and found: @starkslovemail 
“Are you lost?”
Tony jumped at the voice cutting into his thoughts. Turning around, he saw another teen, maybe a year or two older than him, decked out in Team USA gear. He shook his head, flashing what he hoped was a disarming smile, “Nope.”
“Are you sure about that?” The athlete raised a disbelieving brow as he stared down at Tony. “You’ve been walking up and down this hallway for the past ten minutes, and the least embarrassing reason why is being lost.”
The blunt honesty startled a laugh out of Tony. He grinned cheekily, rocking back on his heels, “Guess I’m lost then.”
--
Written for the RhodeyTony Mini-Bang! Art can be seen on twitter here!
two boy geniuses walk into one frat house: @starkslovemail (part of a series)
There were too many white people at this damn party.
The Other 'Mr Stark': Iron Man’s Mysterious Paramour:  @presidentrhodes 
Clint leans over to Tony and whispers. “For the record, I know you’re lying. You’re describing the perfect man and he doesn’t exist. You might as well say you’re dating Superman because at least Christopher Reeve was a looker.“(Based on this prompt: Tony keeps telling the avengers how awesome his husband is but they don't believe he exists because it has been months and they still haven't met him yet and then finally, Rhodey comes home.)
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ericbrandonrp · 4 years ago
Note
Past: 1. 4. 6. 7. 8. 10. 11.
Present: 4. 5. 7. 8. 10. 11. 12. 14.
Future: 2. 3. 8. 9. 10
( im so sorry that this is a lot, but im super interested to hear what you have to say about Eric for these. Pls feel free to skip/ignore questions if there are too many for you tho <3 )
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Past/Present/Future Meme
@youngprofessorx
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1 - Briefly describe the way their parents grew up, and how it affected the way they raised them.
// His mother Melinda grew up in Germany in a loving family, without siblings, his (step)father Thomas grew up in Ireland. Though his family wasn’t as loving as his wife’s. Thomas’ mother died when he was a teenager; his father has always been harsh and rather distant (still is) but wanted the best for his son. There is also a brother, “Uncle Paddy”, who was seen as the black sheep of the Brandon family because he never did what he was told and rather caused mischief. It was only to get the attention his father rather gave to his older brother, Thomas. I guess because Thomas’ father was so harsh, he somewhat adopted that behaviour.
4 - What was the most common argument between them and whoever raised them?
// Eric’s (step)father beat him up almost on a daily basis, but there was no visible reason for it at that time – at least for Eric. Thomas often argued with him about school, however, because Eric was known to just not attend classes when he wasn’t in the mood, or talk against his teachers, play pranks… Somewhere deep inside Thomas wanted him to have a good education, despite being furious at Eric for not being his biological son. However, whatever Thomas wanted him to do or not do – Eric did the opposite.
6 - Did the location they grew up in affect them significantly? Do they still go there?
// I guess it has somewhat. Though he isn’t living in the town he’s grown up in, he did move back to Munich eventually now. Germany, to him, represents happiness because life seemed perfect and carefree for him back then.
7 - Who were their friends during childhood? Are they still in touch with them?
// He didn’t actually have any friends for a long time because he was the ‘new kid’ and also from Germany. The other kids made fun of him and bullied him. When he was around sixteen, though, a new boy moved to New Inn with his family - Marty Lennox - and they immediately clicked. Together they caused a lot of mischief and spent a lot of time with each other; the two even moved in together when they were eighteen. However, Eric started dating Marty’s little sister which had him freak out. The boys fought and Marty even threatened him with a metal pipe. They saw each other maybe another two times or so, the last time at Marty’s sister’s funeral. No contact since. They also slept together but that’s another story.
8 - What was their childhood/teenage bedroom like?
// Not very crowded, actually. It was of average size (at least the one in Ireland); the bed on the side, a desk on the other. A bookshelf without books (he’s never been much of a reader) but vinyls on it, a basketball, some goods he stole. A guitar in the corner. The money he pulled out of people’s pockets was hidden under his mattress. Some posters on the walls; random bands and cars. Outside his window was a downspout that he used to climb up and down without having to face his (step)father. 
10 - What did they dream of doing when they grew up? How and why did it change, if it did?
// Actually, Eric wanted to become a lawyer. He thought it’s a cool job and earns him a lot of money - and would make his (step)father proud. He even passed a test and would have been accepted to law school, proudly showing Thomas that achievement, but he only made fun of him, told him he would never make it, anyway. Eric tossed the paper away and never talked about it again.
11 - Were there any events in their childhood that led to phobias or other fears?
// So many...where do we start?? The first one was probably the other boys in his class faking friendship (partly why he hardly trusts people); they lured him with them although he should have known better, and tied him to a tree outside of school, blindfolded, and pulled down his pants. Since that day he can’t stand blindfolds and being tied up. Secondly, he flinches whenever someone makes fast movements around him. That is due to his (step)father beating him up out of nowhere. Then, finally, he panics when someone touches his neck with their hands/arms. At the peak of his rage, Thomas once wrapped his fingers around Eric’s throat (he was barely 14) and squeezed. Despite Eric begging for him to let go, his (step)father was so enraged that he didn’t even realise what he was doing. When he did, Eric had nearly passed out. Touch to his throat/neck brings back those memories.
4 - Do they have any enemy factions or groups? Why and how are they opposed, and how do they feel about it?
// Police. For obvious reasons lol He wouldn’t even go to them if someone had done him wrong; Eric will always solve those things himself, his own way.
5 - What kind of people do they usually interact with? Who are their friends, the people they look up to/trust, and who are their “associates”?
// Mostly criminals, seeing that he is a thief. He met many thieves and hitmen in his youth already due to his mentor/dad introducing them to him, setting up a connection and circle.  Eric doesn’t actually have friends, he really just calls them ‘associates’. He does look up to his dad, Ian, though. Always has.
7 - Do they have a partner? How did they meet, and what’s their relationship like now?
// No, he doesn’t have a partner. Just a dog named Murphy.
8 - What hobby or pastime of theirs do they consider most important to them and why?
// Eric has a lot of pastime due to his job. What he loves doing is to just chill in front of the tv, watching classic movies, Bond movies, spy movies... That doesn’t mean he’s lazy, however, as he also loves going for a run, going swimming, doing parkour, or just riding his motorcycle. When there’s an interesting car race going on, he can be found there, too. Actually, though, Eric doesn’t really consider any of his hobbies a ‘most important one’. They are all just...hobbies. He doesn’t need a work/life balance because he’s basically a freelancer and doesn’t put any stress and pressure on himself for it.
10 - What do they always carry with them and why?
// Phone, keys, a pack of gum (most often something lemon-y), some spare money. He doesn’t actually always take his wallet with him. Sunglasses are usually somewhere on his clothes, too.
11 - What’s a typical night’s sleep like for them?
// It’s usually riddled with nightmares and he doesn’t really wake up from them and is stuck in them for most of the night, having him thrash and turn. That doesn’t happen every night, however, and he also often wakes up rather refreshed because he’s actually (and that should concern him) used to those nightmares.
12 - If someone mentioned their name to someone else, what would they immediately think of (i.e. defining characteristic, appearance- or personality-wise)?
// Probably something like, “that idiot” haha No but seriously, he is quite well-known in the criminal circles. People know who he is thanks to his discipline and good work he’s been doing so far. The female ones...they will probably be like, “oh right, the one with the gorgeous eyes and--skills” lol
14 - What matters most to them right now?
// To find someone who loves and accepts him the way he is. He knows he isn’t getting younger, so he’s trying to focus on finding someone to spend the rest of his life with now.
2 - Are they content with their future situation? Is there anything they would change?
// He wants a family, and that he doesn’t have that and it doesn’t look like he’s going to have one in the near future, it actually depresses him.
3 - How would their beliefs or morals change in the future, if at all?
// I think they wouldn’t actually change. He has always been a thief, and always will be one. It isn’t like he’s stealing from helpless old ladies or snatching purses from women. He steals mostly from the rich, depending on what job he got. He will, despite everything, still be proud of what he did.
8 - Would they become a mentor figure for anyone?
// No. He doesn’t want to be anyone’s idol or mentor because he doesn’t think he is suited for such a position. Of course he is proud of being a thief, but he would never seriously recommend it to anyone. Eric is well aware of how fucked up his own life is and doesn’t want anyone to take it as any kind of example and follow in his footsteps – not even his own children.
9 - How do they feel about getting older and eventually dying?
// Actually he doesn’t mind getting older, he knows it’s part of life and he accepts it - however, he is also afraid of it because what he wants most in his life is to have a family, a wife who loves and accepts him, children he can see grow up. The older he gets, the less the chances become that he will ever have that.
10 - How do they want to be remembered after they die?
// As a loving family man who had flaws, but wasn’t as bad as his parents wanted to make him out to be.
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theskyexists · 4 years ago
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ive bought harrow the ninth and am now attempting to reread act 1 so that i may understand it better
ianthe clearly proposes that Harrow not get herself killed trying to bring Gideon back - reading it over again. instead to take the future and somehow?? be really powerful together and forget about their cavaliers. but harrow says no
im once again struck with how offhand this book introduces the concept that the empire goes out to deliberately kill planets over a couple of generations
now im not sure....there also seems to be an implication that there’s no aliens - because they say only humanity has a soul - but client planets were said to rebel - i guess the human colonisers rebel against central solar system command sometimes? but then what enemy does the Cohort fight? possibly it’s just bigotry that they think aliens dont have a soul
but like - they find LIVING PLANETS and then - kill them slowly. to the extent that they need to move the entire population. WHAT? why do they do that??? just so they can do some bone tricks???!
what the fuk
so how did the planets get murdered again? and which solar system planets could really have been said to have had enough life to have a soul?? cos like, only one of them is really known for that
why did God give Harrow the choice to go back home TWICE if he was never going to let her?
once again, why mess with the Hand candidates if God was always gonna come for Cytherea? just to mess with him more?
yeah - harrow keeps hearing and saying ortus ninegad but the rest of the world remembers gideon.
Harrow truly is totally mentally shattered AND time is totally fucked up
but sometimes in the fake-ish timeline Harrow remembers but doesn’t remember Gideon - like how she notes that there were two womb-bearing members of the Ninth who were the right age...but only elaborates on herself
for some reason - Harrowhark remembers Ianthe’s arm ripped from her by Cytherea - but now it’s whole. for some reason
that letter is still so what the fuck
‘like you did the last time’ - hm harrowhark sewed Ianthe’s lips shut? how did she come by the power?
is ianthe - calling Harrowhark God?
throughout the first act, they keep referring to time, having too much time, or not mastering time, or not having enough time, ‘this time’ etc.
the eggs you gave me all died - that’s DIRECTED at Harrow, is my theory
ok but the planet revenants come after Lyctors and also God (- God became God when? at the Resurrection) before the Lyctors happened - God was still at Canaan House - despite the Revenants already coming right...
is Teacher criticising god and lyctors for leaving Canaan House lol?
ok so yeah Canaan House WAS part of a ‘last sacrifice’
ok so - Harrowhark is a little resurrection miracle. This implies that God killed a lot to resurrect the Houses.
wow God is being a very dad to Harrow
Blood of Eden - BOE - they turned their back on the solar system. now they hate necromancy. in other words - when the solar system died, God resurrected it - but before that point some humans had fled - lived. and they can see what absolute fuckin horror necromancy is ACTUALLY
so what im getting is...maybe...god resurrected humanity by killing the planets...?
i just realised that Ianthe has taken Gideon’s place as the smartass in the room - the counterweight to Harrow’s portentousness
what the fuck do augustine’s comments to Mercy mean???? why is she unloveable? why would he say that God doesn’t need her? and why is it obscene that Augstine calls God John? What is the dangerous game she’s playing? What was the foul implication??
‘Then that is your downfall’ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Harrow BURN!!!
what i don’t get is - the Cohort is an army - when they land they die because they’re being killed by an enemy at the front - NOT in pure sacrifice for thanergy. so why does only the death of humans and planets produce thanergy. why is the death of the enemy not good enough? they don’t have fuckin souls?? they MUST be complex life. and doesn’t a planet produce a constant stream of thanergy? but i guess it’s not dying enough - generally its life maintains itself in ecosystems.....unless a fuckin lyctor ‘makes the juice flow’ i guess!
sometime in the next book there IS gonna be a ‘are we the baddies’ meme. muir loves memes and she stuck skulls on absolutely EVERYTHIGN. Like WHY THE FUCK would you colonise planets if you gotta kill them for it? LOL????
huh? augustine just said that they can’t use necromancy when in the river - but mercy mocked harrow for having hypothermia ? implying her fundamental failure was not being able to necro while in the river? Harrow’s inability was what was wrong partly right?? oh no ok it’s how Harrow tried to compensate for her body going lights out while in the river. alright. that was written confusingly
how and why is this a completely different story???
The Sleeper.......is Harrowhark? the suit is too close to what she was wearing killing the asteroid. and the sleeper is lying on ‘something’. oh they just straight up say it lololol
ortus got into trouble 19 years ago...hhmmmmm wasn’t Gideon 19??? huh? which is why Mercy started at Harrow’s peculiar YELLOW eyes that Harrow can’t see herself i think
‘i do things face to face’ ortus says after stabbing harrow. HUH? why go for a stab if decapitating would have done the job? just to give her a small chance to fight back? (face to face?)
why not tell God that ‘his’ attack dog is trying to kill you?
why does Ortus the First want me dead? ‘who?’ ---uh. has she forgotten him completely (time shit) or is she saying the wrong name? mercy wouldnt reply like that then right?
she told him and he’s like - oh well guess you gotta just get through repeated almost-successful attacks on your life. ???? THANKS GOD!!!
‘you, with your unfortunate memory for poetry’ HA! i love how we are reminded that she knew all the fuckin damn books nearly by heart which is insane!
Teacher suggests his dying at least three times a day?? hahaha what?.........................is this purely a meme reference. is that meme the mental image im supposed to have of Teacher??????????? is this trying to say that this meme was preserved in the amalgamation of human life that is Teacher?? oh my god....
no.....palamedus and camilla....did old Harrow really kill them.....
seems like all the murders were consensual maybe?
it’s probably too straightforward that Harrow created and alternate timeline and made for a Harrow Lyctor without Gideon dying and kicked her to the original? maybe she took Ianthe and Coronabeth with her bc she needed Ianthe’s help
is this Cytherea or Dulcinea? Pro seems real this time. why does Dulcie call Pal and Cam strands and cords?
did muir put in a fuckin secondary school S - muir’s just like - im gonna put in all the memes as a nod to ancient human culture
still no idea what the messages are that Harrow is getting
This Harrow is so goddamn sick. I mean she was sick before, but at least she had Gideon. Really do feel that that helped her. now she didn’t have that -- AND she’s getting slapped with trauma another five times
if ortus can undo the thanergy of her own bone then why not simply crumble HARROW into dust? cos there’s a core of thanergy fusion in her that he can’t undo?
FLKJDFKLJSDLFSD fucking IANTHE ‘Wow! Not how I imagined this happening, at all.’  FUCKIN HELL
Harrow with her fucking fucked up dramatic inner monologues about weakness and Ianthe comes in with this shit. she really is doing Gideon proud here.
Did love Harrow’s musings about how only a truly idiotically obedient Cavalier would be the only one to keep to a vow of silence. HAH! nice one muir
‘have you taken the time to rest lately?’ asks God, YOUR FUCKING SAINT IS TRYING TO KILL HER IN THE FUCKING BATH YOU IDIOT AHAHAHAHA
JEZUS FUCKING CHRIST - try and be normal Harrow! try and make some soup and read a book! Harrow: *does and then hyperventilates hidden under her bed after 86 hours of zero sleep*
she was trying to remember what cutlery did. why is this so goddamn funny hahahaa. this book has ONLY been Harrow being in extreme states of misery ALL THE TIME both mentally and physically to the point of death
GOD IS HAPPY THAT SHE MADE SOUP AND DOESNT EVEN FUCKIN NOTICE SHE’S NOT SLEPT FOR A WEEK SOMEHOW THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT
thats what you fucking GET you piece of shit god! you push a prodigy teen to the brink and she fuckin explodes your lyctor and feeds you her fuckin marrow. maybe you shouldn’t have ignored her goddamn fucking understandable distress
SHE FUCKIN HITS HIM WITH THE FUCKIN TRUTH what an IDIOT of a God. he truly doesn’t understand mortality anymore huh
I LOVE HOW MERCYMORN CONTINUES TO MAKE HARROW YOUNGER IN HER HEAD AHAHAHAHAHAHA she’s only nine years old!!!hahahaha
naturally God focuses on how - wait- actually harrow is truly an INSANE necromancer - INSANE
still no idea what the fuck is going on in the not-past
aww. ianthe’s scent soothes harrow now. begrudgingly of course.
i thought this was gonna be lovely angsty harrow/gideon but naturally that did not happen
harrow is comfortable! first time in the whole book! one moment of comfort!!!
‘love my twin, also murder’ tridentarius pffjlfjdljf
‘how i crave your honeyed words’ hah
wow this scene sure is weirdly sexual with these similes lol ‘as though she had shyly undressed for you’ ok there Harrow you about to chop her arm off calm it probably sex repulsed thirsty teen
i do love how....there is this theme again that’s everybody underestimating the main character - who is actually a prodigy. Gideon had that with the sword and Harrow also has it with being a Lyctor now
it’s so telling that these Saints would rather be shits to these babies than help Ianthe grow a new fuckin arm
i dont see why Ianthe can’t work off this bone construct which is her own stuff and put some flesh on it since SHES A FLESH NECRO?
Ianthe that’s super gay
wow muir really never delivers on full gay does she??? i dont mind but i think it’s so striking hahaa
how are Harrow and Ianthe still hung up on the Saint of Duty? i mean, if they dont have him against the RB they’re dead anyway
why is the First going through rain and ice?
Harrow haunted? naawwww
i cant help but like mercymorn though - she cares. it’s soured ages ago but she cares.
awww Harrow needs Ianthe to sleep
Ianthe constantly poking Harrow for her prudishness is so goddamn funny.
‘It’s the type of energy i wish to take into my future’ AHAHAHAHAHAAH IANTHE MY GOD
‘i always forget you were an honest to go nun ... and six years old to boot if you listen to mercymorn’ HAHAHAHAHAHA
‘you look good enough that im proud of my handiwork but not so good that i’ll be consumed with lust and ravish you over the nut bowl’ fpdfjsdfkjsd this is what harrow means with crude japery and yet....
mercymorn has started to call harrow three years old. i will NEVER tire of this gag
all of the blood of eden stuff happened in the past 25 years??? god was on the erebos, but he also remembers ortus kicking the commander out of an airlock? that was in the last 25 years??
Ianthe‘s carressing the nape of Harrow’s neck. hmmhm
its honestly super weird if you think about it for more than 10 seconds that theyre talking about their cavaliers whom they murdered (im still not sure if all consensually) ten thousand years ago (!) and how hot they were that just seems.....fucked up
Harrow is like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically all the time but especially now. yep well that was to be expected i guess lololol
Harrow being painfully frozenly fascinated by (god having) sex and deeply repulsed is very Harrow
oh nooooo well that was a perfect kiss between them really
the funny thing about Harrow is that though she is so completely fucked up - just like Gideon - she is fundamentally a helper.
why wouldn’t Harrow have thought of blood wards! she knew he could only bleed thanergy! it;s the first thing i thought - just use not bone wards then!
ortus thinks anastasia is in Harrow - which makes me think - why does he think that’s possible?
mercymorn now calls Harrow a two-year-old. i am waiting for embryonic genius
so did they use the river to get to the planets theyre killing?
Harrow feels the peace and pleasure of a stroll through nature that she has come to kill
oh my god - Harrow somehow saved Cam and Pal is still attached to the mortal plane!!
Harrow helps Cam risking herself entirely just like that. yknow as she does
i wonder if Pal has realised that Harrow is not who he remembers
i think he realised once he realised haz mat suit was Harrow also...
ianthe xo’d harrow.....lol
im sad that original harrow is definitely dead.... :( loved her. guess gideon’s not coming back either. not sure how the second adept survived. she didn’t survive in the original timeline either. but she was ‘killed’ in the other - just like coronabeth..so that means soemthing
this whole ‘flashback’ stuff to Canaan House is Harrow being in the River the whole time. the cold temperatures, the blood, the creatures theyre fishing from the sea that apparently abominations
after all, we’ve just learned about river bubbles and a haz!harrow that can change their parameters.
all the people ‘dead’ she’d not spoken to much or at all beforehand. like they’re NOT real, in the River. the only one not like that is Dyas...
the fact that the narrative keeps calling Dulcie, Dulcie means she’s really Dulcie.
there’s giant organs falling from the ceiling. this is definitely the river
they talk about time AGAIN
the Body is the devil who let herself be used to complete the work of Teacher and the Lyctors in his mythology....hmm. and when they realised the price (AFTER? the work was done?) they wanted her dead but he buried her....SHE allowed them to become Lyctors?? I still don’t understand why the heck that was necessary
the king is dead, long live the king. hmmmm
Harrow comes onto a hallucination of the devil who was her first crush with the voice of her parental figures and the eyes of a love interest she can no longer remember - which is actually not precisely a hallucination probably - and gets summarily rejected lol OUCH (the Body didn’t mean it that way ofc)
Harrow is so repressed on every single front but definitely sexually
I love Mercy
so there is death beyond death. does everybody go into the river and become a mad horrid ghost? like - is that everybody’s fate? how awful
ok so God DID resurrect the planets also. ? but like. then why are there resurrection beasts?
what does resurrection mean? and who killed the planets in the first place?
BECOMING NONE HOUSE, LEFT GRIEF
oh.....my god.
ARE YOU AND IANTHE BEING SAFE!!?!?!?! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HIS BODYGUARD IS THE DEVIL??
so the destruction of Earth somehow made God? as though it was something that simply followed from it
A.L. was destroyed in the first assault? Of an RB
so the RB’s were happily running off in the other direction until they decided to fuck around and kill their mates to become immortal and powerful - then the RB’s turned around and came towards them - which meant leaving the planets God had resurrected forever.
what the fuck god??? hahahahaa
God always seems so likeable goddamn.
Harrow is such a dramatic bitch. Affection??? JUST KILL ME!!! KILL ME!! LET ME SMASH THE GLASS SO I CAN KNEEL IN IT AND BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!!
Harrow goes into her fun kid's game of not dying to traps.
But she instantly calls him father. OH MY GOD
HE DOESNT BELIEVE HER!!!
'then that will be your downfall' - is what Harrow said to Augustine AND IT WILL BECOME TRUE FOR THEM ALL
to be dismissed like that where it hurts most - to have God Dad dismiss her only slip of comfort her only pillar of truth in this crazy old world
'nobody had watched you leave'
SOMEBODY HAD - I love all the deliberate references to Gideon
Temporal lobe!!!! Again the temporal lobe!!!
So why was it again that Harrow refused to be locked in with the Emperor?
So isn't God gonna check out Harrow's temporal lobe? He's just gonna let that mystery go to its death?
WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK
Muir what the fuck??!!!!!!!!
Oh it was.....a hallucination?
Always love how this dips into genuine horror sometimes
What's weird is that Lyctors seem made for the task of going into the river and killing Resurrection Beasts - instead of the other way around.
So say - that the sword somehow holds Gideon's soul (we've just learned that that's possible from Pal and also Ortus trying to get Pent to summon his grandma by his sword) - does it not make sense that Harrow 'for some reason' stabbing Cytherea's corpse with it transferred it to her? Or maybe it's SOMEHOW Anastasia if Ortus was macking on her. But Ortus thought HARROW had/was Anastasia.
IANTHE WANTS TO MARRY HARROW - HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Every fucking chapter doesn't make things any clearer. This is worse than Gideon the ninth
Hello???? Am I reading a canon alternate universe roleswap au??? What the FUCK is going on. This is like - if they hadn't gassed the 200 and her parents instead adopted Gideon for her clear necromantic gifts which nobody noticed somehow the other time round
I do love how Aiglamene was the sole source of slight comfort in Gideon's life. And Crux was Harrow's - apparently in any sequence of events.
Harrow is tumbling through timelines. But how can you do that just by messing with the lobe?
WHAT!! WHAT!!!
Is this...is this what I think it is??? Is thi
The fanfic roots are STRONG in this one. In fact I believe I've READ this fanfiction
Harrow's temporal fever dream (in the river?) HAD HER (Decidedly Not) VYING FOR 'HER DIVINE HIGHNESS' hand, which is either the Body or Gideon or both lololol. Seeing as the previous had Gideon as the main unnamed titled character - I bet it's Gideon ahahaaga
A fucking. COFFEESHOP AU. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD
We've had roleswap, 'ball' au, and coffee shop au populated by the ghosts of the dead LOLOL,
I knew it!! I knew that they were ghosts and that they were in the river!!
Ok so but when did Harrow shoddily create the bubble? When she adjusted her memories at the start? When is this. Ah Harrow has the same thought hahaa
So the stage is a - she was building her memories while sleeping?
Why is that she cannot access her lyctorhood like this...
I just realised that Harrow's mind made the party food taste like SALT based on Ianthe's cooking!!!! Hahahaha
THE NARRATOR IS GIDEON. But it doesn't sound like Gideon though
There's more to the work than simply preserving Gideon's soul though. There are next steps that Harrow prepared for that Harrow doesn't know about yet
Who was the sleeper and why was it in Harrows riverscape of memories that she ACCIDENTALLY??? made
Ok she sounds like Gideon NOW
Gideon no it's not because she didn't want you! It's because she wanted you to live!!!!!
And she succeeded....your soul is INTACT in her body!!!! You're protecting her with full consciousness!! How the fuck. And why didn't that happen before when she went to the bubble?
Are the ghosts of the contestants happy that they got pulled out of the River briefly? Or were they so briefly in there they couldn't remember?
She returned them to the RIVER???? is that really such a kind fate????
Something has gone wrong in the River - yeah because why r all these ghosts going insane and stoppering it up like slib
Do love how Muir has found a way to give these characters more screentime
I actually said 'oof' when Harrow screamed at Ortus - oof that really is embarrassing. GodDAMN Ortus you stepping up with the emotional support!
I've EVEN read the damn fanfic in which they switched bodies. My god.
A. L. apparently is thought to wander about still. I think she's the body....I do believe she's the body. That's why the Lyctors are scared of her
She thought - what. Mercy is talking about blood of Eden's commander. What is going onnnnn still!!!! Mercy is the traitor I guess. But how is blood of Eden connected to the ninth house and the body?
Why is Mercy awake on the mithraeum and not in the River anyways?
Gideon.... And the commander were in cahoots? So did A. L. and Anastasia an the body and the commander all have the same eyes?????
What the fuck is going on indeed.
Cytherea seems to have had a plan B for getting revenge on the Emperor. Or something had a plan B with her corpse as the main weapon.
If guns are so effective against people why aren't they still used.
The messages are from the commander. I.e. Gideon's mother. I.e. Anastasia? We never explicitly did learn how she met her end no? Gideon was convinced that Anastasia had taken the baby. It just seems incongruous how the Emperor spent like 80 years on the Erebos and the Lyctors were faffing about - meanwhile there was this drama going on in the last half century?
I love Abigail Pent. Love that I got to see more of her.
I'd honestly forgot that Judith was alive by the end of all of that shit
The sleeper is -the sleeper is Gideon's mother. Also. She's haunted by her mother. SOMEHOW. what the fuck? They couldn't drag her spirit back from the river they said!
'you wizards never learn' there's a whole modern regular sci fi world and culture out there! Or maybe it's just a. L.
Is it? Or is it Anastasia? Or is it the commander? Or are they the same thing?
The sleeper wants Harrow's body. Somehow invaded it - probably from the river? - which means its Anastasia or the commander. Which means that whatevers possessing Cytherea is someone else.
In retrospect - Harrow's coldness to Ianthe talking about - to what her - seemed nonsense at the time - in the very first part - doesn't quite fit.
Oh my fucking GOD Gideon is fighting Ianthe for messing around with her fucking girlfriend - who is HARROW, who actually, Ianthe wants to marry.
They just went from ramping up to a serious fight to Gideon dropping Corona's name and suddenly they're like - ah we got more important priorities actually.
Augustine's first thought at thinking a.l./the body (?) is in Harrow is John - and the Second is Joy!(mercy?)
'How I was gonna have to take showers with all your clothes on.' fuckin Gideon hahahaha
Wonder if Ianthe truly believes what she's saying - that Harrow was trying to rid hersel of Gideon. It's preposterous. It's just hurtful talk.
GIDEON REALLY THOUGHT THAT LOOK TO MEAN THAT HARROW DIDNT LOVE HER??? THIS IS A CONSTANT BARRAGE OF ALL THE ANGSTY DRAMATIC SHIT IVE BEEN YEARNING FOR
Oh my fucking god Gideon calling Ianthe out for being in love with Harrow in the most iconic way ufsojdjdodnd 'she wants the D - the D stands for dead'
Crazy brain-mutilated Harrow sure made it seem that way I can tell ya that!!
Hahahahahaha Ianthe remembering Harrows prudish Ortus/Cytherea shit. Amazing
Aw Gideon really went and fell right into the cavalier/bone mistress shit huh. And trying to shield Harrow - well as noted before - very necessary because harrow has been having a godawful miserable time - mostly because of herself.
Gideon appreciating Ianthe's pun xD
Love how neither of them position themselves as the love of Harrows life but instead as inexorably attached to her by the sheer role they play in her life - they don't dare aspire to what they think they can't get.
Muir realises this is gonna end up as a Gideon/Harrow(/theBody)/Ianthe ship right?
Oh WOW THIS IS AMAZING. nonius the legendary nonius!!! Come to protect Harrow!!!
For some reason the Sleeper can manipulate the rules of this River bubble and doesn't seem surprised about it
If all her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem.lololol. somehow Harrow, you inspired undying loyalty in even a person that you treated abominably
Yeah Harrow you slowpoke. If the Sleeper can adjust the rules - so can you
If the sleeper was not Harrow's invention - but planted itself - then they're very lucky it got to the ghosts that weren't actually there - first.
So it was the commander....a portrait in a shuttle of blood of eden - can only be the commander. And redhaired? There are too many red haired people in this book!!
It's nice how all these ghosts got to have lasting impact from beyond the grave
NONIUS KNEW ORTUS/GIDEON?
Ok so ....there's the bed of the River with stoma. But there might also be the other side.
Did Harrow really not account for steps beyond her plan to mutilate her brain?
Is this book really gonna go: fuck you Gideon will die anyway ?????
But.wait. the sleeper had a two-hander. Where did that go???
I don't get it. If they go into the river - won't they also go insane?
SO NYAH!!!!!???
Ok but - what? The Commander ALSO -somehow - took over Cytherea's body?
'did the ten billion give you that too' I KNEW CANAAN HOUSE HELD EVEN GRUESOMER EXPERIMENTS AND SACRIFICES THAN LYCTORHOOD. God is made of ten billion souls. I think they killed humanity on earth to spare it 'slow inexorable apocalypse' and used the power to make the Empire from the resurrected. There was an extremely vague implication by Teacher to the amount of souls violated in Canaan house in the first book.
So God knows the commander went for the ninth house? Firstly, how. I don't understand how Anastasia fits in here!!! It would explain though how the commander
So the commander found the ninth house - and she died right? They tried to call her spirit but couldn't. But she became a revenant?
Ah. God THREW the bomb.
A fuckin wake me up inside joke jskdjskdnd
So Mercy and Augustine ( not Gideon ?) had all turned against God? And they were working with the commander to -... Make a baby????? And then evacuate the houses???? (For when God dies - there being a risk that Dominicus would go out I guess)
Make a baby/body to lever the one who lies in the tomb into....?
Love how the book foreshadowed Mercy and Augustine manipulating and lying to God - and turns out they did that on much bigger scale
They....meant to kill the baby to break the blood ward?
'The woman who I was pretty sure was my mother, wearing the body of the woman I'd had a crush on, who in turn had been wearing the identity of a woman she'd murdered -' KSNFKDJDKFJJFC
So why did they want this consistently characterised as kindly and humane god dead?
GIDEON THOUGHT IT WAS HIS!!!! But he called Wake Anastasia then????
They really are the same???
Oh my god I know what they're gonna say. Gideon is the daughter of God. WHICH HARROWS FUCKIN ROYALTY AU FEVER RIVER DREAM FUCKING FORESHADOWED HAAHAHAHAHHAA
Isn't it fucking ironic that God told Harrow that - HE WANTED HER TO BE HIS??? WHILE GIDEON HIS ACTUAL DAUGHTER WAS SPINNING INSIDE HER CHEST LIKE A LITTLE NUCLEAR FUSION REACTOR
They've been trying to kill him for more than 500 years???? Did mercymorn actually genuinely learn the extremely fine knowledge of the body for THIS purpose? How many thousands of years ago did they decide to kill god?
A fucking DAD JOKE
GIDEON REMEMBERING HOW SHE USED TO TELL HARROW HOW HER OTHER PARENT MIGHT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD SO STOP PICKING ON HER
I am fucking DELIGHTED I AM SO GODDAMN OVERJOYED
It segues into a reminder of how shit their childhoods were and how their suffering had them lash out at each other endlessly and how it made Harrow suicidal and shit though - which is great
ALECTO'S EYES. THE A. FOR A. L.
A. L. The cavalier of God....but she walked. She had a body.
Ohhhhh. That's why they betrayed him. That age-old hurt. Ten thousand years old but still the bane of their existence, the seed of their madnesses. The loss of their cavaliers. Oh how did they manage to keep that from him?
I honestly thought - is Mercy saying she knows he killed humanity? But that's not what she couldn't have forgiven?
But why did he hide it? Why did he hide the perfect way? ('it would be easier' why???)
Ah. Yes. The expansion, why would the Emperor do that?
Uhhhhh. Couldn't Mercy have done that all along??????????????????????? Couldn't Mercy have killed God all along? That was both a trick and utterly sincere.
Augustine and Mercy were trying to do the right thing..... Mercy.... :'( Augustine was right. God is much less sentimental than he seems.
'im not even mad that you failed to either fix or put down Harrow' hm guess the constant kill quest HAD come from God after all. What a goddamn bitch of a man
What was the original plan? Unleash a. L. ? And then what? How would that help with the whole Dominicus going out problem?
Had God ever really thought to make up for all the bullshit he put his Lyctors through. He seems so affable and human but he's caused so much suffering. He's as good at manipulation at them - better!
The resurrection beast can't kill him, but he let his Lyctors die to them one by one anyway. So why??
Why are they punching each other in the River? They can use theorems right? God could blast Augustine to pieces same he did mercy?
Yes! It's true! Pyrrha and Gideon both exist in the same body - foreshadowed by his cavaliers build. There was something so fishy about it.
I love how Gideon has exactly the same response as me: what the fuck. Pyrrha??? Gideon??? What the fuck??? Why did they BOTH have an affair with their enemy??? So ok. Pyrrha stayed underground from Everybody for the thousand years. SOMEHOW their compartmentalisation let her pop up in his body regularly and not just when Gideon remembered her - because the hadn't fucked up his brain. But then how did THEY do that.
This absolutely galactic balsiness
The stoma thinks John is a resurrection beast. Might it be.....because he's..... A revenant. A 10 billion souled kinda- revenant ? A bit like.....Harrow is? Which is why he felt kin to her? Which is why he compared her creation to Resurrection?????I've really gotta reread those messages from commander wake.
A fucking jail for mother meme. Jail for one thousand years. Gideon how do you know this one????
I KNEW Ianthe would do that. Knew it. She doesn't want the system to die. Coronabeth is still out there. Well guess what - she's on the opposite side babe. Ok I realised that Gideon's mum apparently stuck to Gideon and then the sword? But also did Harrow manage to break the blood ward because of of her proximity to Gideon? Did Harrow uhhhh get put into a pocket in the river? But the emperor wasn't murdered!!! Fuckin chapters kept lying. They're on a hold planet. Finally - we meet the people. Alecto and Camilla and Corona? And Judith.? Did Alecto somehow do a time twisty around to come save Gideon at that moment in the river? Once again nothing much more is clear.
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afroggyfrog · 4 years ago
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SuperStraight
A brand new sexuality that is trending on twitter and being super popular.
Definition:
A superstraight person is someone attracted to members of the opposite gender who are not transexual.
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This was created as a response to people who sometimes say things like this:
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(source:BBC)
Let’s give a name to the people who insist that not being attracted to trans people makes you transphobic, since I’m not about to describe them every time i wanna bring them up, I’ll call them trans-incels because just like incels they resent people for not wanting to have sex with them.
It’s worth it to remember that trans-incels aren’t representative of all trans people. or even of a majority of them, if i were to bet, they are about as popular as actual incels.
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In all the comment sections I checked the anti trans-incel side was a clear majority, and having searched for “superstraight” on youtube to see what people have to say, the first video on the list, from a trans man, is definetely anti trans-incel .
> If you don’t want to date a trans person that’s fine, and if somebody is trying to force you they’re just an asshole
-probably most trans people
From the perspective of a trans-incel (and how we’re all assuming too much)
Imagine a person.
Imagine the probability that they are racist.
Imagine that same person saying “i wouldn’t date a black person”
Has the probability increased at all? be honest, it hasn’t gone up to 100% (which would be the race-incel response) but it must have gone up by at least a little.
But why did it go up by a little? Because now the chance they’ll say something like “because blacks disgust me” has also gone up.
Now imagine being into internet drama (ew) and as a trans person, you’re especially interested in people being transphobic and you probably see transphobia every day because people like talking about it as much as anti-sjw(tm) people like to talk about the trans-incels.
If discussions about trans people only gets to you when it causes drama you’ll probably never see “i wouldn’t date trans men/women...” without having it be followed by “...because they’re not real men/women”.
And even though the whole point of being superstraight is to explain why people wouldn’t date trans men/women without calling them ‘not real men/women’ lets see what the original guy who started the whole superstraight meme has to say at second 15.
https://youtu.be/z8vQhkPnEE4
It’s like instead of throwing bait, they’re just throwing food.
The more you see “...because they’re not real men/women” the more likely you are to expect it, and as someone who subscribes to people posting drama 24/7 you’ll see that hundreds of times until you end up answering ...
the probability that the person who says ‘i wouldn’t date trans men/women’ to be transphobic is 100%
...and even if they don’t follow up with something transphobic it’s always easier to imagine they’re just hiding it rather than to change your whole worldview on the spot.
And if you think “why do they even predict transphobia before its spoken”, well, this might sound crazy to you, but everyone is assuming things all the time, our whole perception of reality is nothing but a hallucination that our brain comes up with using not only stimulus from the world but also assumptions.
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There’s a blind spot on each 1 of your eyes, your brain simply fills it in without you knowing, it also adds color to the edge of your vision and makes the whole thing less blurry.
When someone says “i won’t date trans people” some people will simply fill in the blanks, they’ll assume every bit of info about who you are what you believe in what your personality is from just a sentence, because the brain is literally designed for it.
IQ tests are just patterns where a spot is blanked out and you’re supposed to fill it in, your intelligence is measured by your ability to fill in the blanks, and low intelligence people will just make mistakes more often, but everyone smart or dumb will constantly make assumptions about everything, and dumb people will be proven wrong about their assumptions more often.
And this happens all the time even when you’re not talking about politics or having a fight.
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Someone talking about the earth being curved? well, every time I saw someone do that they called it a sphere so let me just fill in the blanks.
Someone saying they wouldn’t date trans women? well, every time I see screenshots of people saying that in my drama facebook group i see them being transphobic, so let me just fill in the blanks
That’s just how incels operate.
Building legitimacy
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Have you ever noticed that every sexual preference eventually gets assigned a flag, on that note, why does every country have a flag?
If you ask a regular person to guess why their country has a flag you’ll get something related to aesthetics, our flags represent our country.
For example Romania and Hungary:
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In school we are taught that each colour on our flag has a different meaning, I searched on google and everyone disagrees on what they mean but as an example.
Liberty (sky-blue), Justice (field yellow), Fraternity (blood red) 
Outside of school I was taught by my grandma that the Hungarian flag, much like the Romanian flag, also has a meaning.
The green represents a wide field of green grass, the white represents a white dog playing on the field of grass, rolling around on his back, and the red represents his red dog cock.
Both of these meanings are pretty much just something that a Romanian randomly came up with so i don’t think most people know why countries have flags.
Flags originate from war, that way the armies know not to attack their own allies when they see they carry the same flag, having an army grants you true legitimacy because you can just beat people up into believing you’re legitimate, so countries with no armies probably still had flags because it would be really hard to pretend you have an army otherwise.
Nowadays every country has a flag even if war is illegal, simply because every country has been using one for so long that it became convention. If you don’t follow convention you will be seen as illegitimate. It’s an unwritten rule, but a rule nonetheless, that you need a flag, and much like not following written rules makes you illegitimate (and illegal) so does not following unwritten rules.
And sexualities having their own flags and names probably feels like an even stronger convention than countries having flags for some people.
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It’s very often brought up that you have to feel “valid” (which more or less means “legitimate”) 
I still don’t know why, but it’s apparent that people need to be reassured that their sexuality is “valid” and then there’s also this:
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Why does a sexual preference have to be distinct from a sexuality? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure the only difference between the two is legitimacy, to confirm to the conventions of flags and labels.
Q: So why do superstraights get a label and a flag and copy everything that LGBT people do, like tweets talking about how valid their followers are or using the word bigot etc
A: Because to get true legitimacy you need to copy the conventions.
The cargo cult
(wikipedia) Some primitive tribes of people would look at colonists from the civilised world and notice that after they’d built some plane lanes, the planes would come bringing cargo full of valuable stuff.
The tribesmen have made the observation that planes land if you build lanes for them to land on, they made the hypothesis that building the lanes causes the planes to come, and like scientists, they set out to test it.
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They made lanes, they made fake planes, they tried to copy everything that the colonists did hoping it would be enough.
Superstraight is a lot like a cargo cult of sexualities, they have a flag, they have a label, they call everyone bigots all the time.
This is the first pic I sent before cropping it.
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Because, like a cargo cultist who does not see the plane factories from the colonists homelands, the superstraight person does not see the LGBT community from outside his filter bubble, the filter bubble where only the most obnoxious people like the trans-incels can get through.
So when the superstraight person who thinks every LGBT person is just an obnoxious incel tries to “fit in” with the LGBT, they will act like an obnoxious incel, and when everyone is angry at him, he thinks to himself “they've all proven themselves hypocrites! i baited them so hard! i won!!!”
Even tho there’s a bunch of LGBT people from the comment sections I read who don’t even know the trans-incels even exist, because their filters simply don’t show them the same things you superstraight people are shown.
It gets worse
There’s some people who are so cocky and think they’re so much smarter than the LGBT community that they can just sneak in the nazi SS symbol into their flag and not just fuck up the bait completely.
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hehe Schutzstaffel fla- wait! you cant call me a nazi! this is just another sexuality you hypocriteeeee
But this is also just a minority of the people who get superstraight trending, its so popular that I’m pretty sure most of the people getting it to trend are actual normies who wouldn’t even recognise the SS symbol and who have never been to 4chan.
Speaking of 4chan
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Of course people don’t think superstraight is legitimate when you have 4chan taking credit for it.
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They pick up on all the superficial customs like the flag the label the speech patterns and think “this is their, logic, im using it against them, and they’re all mad because of this alone and not just because a we’re comparing ourselves to the Schutzstaffel”
In a turing test a computer attempts to pass as a human.
In the ideological turing test a human tries to pass as someone of a different ideology.
Are people afraid of passing the ideological turing test? do they think if they can think like the enemy, then they’ll become the enemy? there was no need for people on 4chan to talk so openly about superstraight being a ruse, there was no need to make nazi memes with it, there is no need to post “we used their logic against them”, to constantly tell “yes this is all a lie”.
And yet people have to constantly break character and expose superstraight for being a fake sexuality, why? what’s even the point of it then?
What it could have been
Imagine a world in which instead of making a cargo cult sexuality and just delegitimizing it yourself with all the actual nazi symbolism, you were able to cancel trans-incels.
Imagine if they were able to say things like “the trans-incels are trying to create a new rape culture in which superstraight people are coerced into having sex with transexual people” with a straight face
Imagine if they even tried to coin the term “trans-incels”, since incels are hated by progressives for misogyny and are often associated with 4chan.
Imagine if they could get people banned for hate-speech against the superstraight
Imagine if they had the balls to denounce the people amongst them trying to delegitimise superstraight with their nazi SS and obvious parodying of the  points that aren’t taken seriously by anyone who doesn’t call themselves anti-sjw.
Maybe then there’d be some divide between “pro-superstraight” and “anti-superstraight” instead of everyone who’s not anti-trans agreeing that superstraights aren’t legit.
Maybe they’d be able to get some people canceled, there’s been at least one actual celebrity (India Willoughby) who is a trans-incel, they  could have canceled her! but nobody is even trying.
And oh how much “applying their own logic against them” would have been true if as a response to “but not all trans people are calling you transphobic for having a sexual preference!” you dusted off the “not all men are like that” memes that was popular with feminists.
If they would go on the offensive, cancelling people, spreading trans-incel screenshots to everyone who says they’ve never seen one, mocking people who stand up against them the way feminists used to and say “nOt aLl TrANs pEopLe aRE liKE THat” to anyone who says “not all trans people are like that”, to tell them that “silence is violence” and to make them cancel eachother.
Imagine how much more effective that would have been.
In the end this isn’t gonna make a difference, it will be forgotten, maybe in a couple months, or a year, or a week, some people are  angry today because a counterculture hashtag is trending, but they’ll forget about it too, maybe a couple dozen people will permanently have superstraight on their twitter bios, but really, nothing interesting is gonna come out of it, and if someone tries to make something like whitesexual/blacksexual/asiansexual etc a thing the well will have already been poisoned by superstraight.
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