#do we say it's always been a beast in waiting? does it matter when there's already blood on its teeth? does it matter it used to be kind?

[thebrainrotsreal]

Thinking about the version of Mark that DID survive out in the wasteland for all those years (???) (post-Angstrom fight). Thinking about him being told he wouldn’t like who he had become. Thinking about Mark whispering “I thought you were stronger” at the bloody corpse crushed into the sand. Thinking about the hot sun and incredibly hot earth and unwavering isolation at such a critically vulnerable point. Mark, stranded and bloody, left to wonder if this was worth trying to protect his family, left to wonder if the violence in him is inevitable, as if it's some evil thing that's always been there, underneath his skin, just now waking. Left to wonder until he trips into spiraling, but no matter how loud he screams these questions into the sky, there is nothing but silence. A corpse for company. Thinking about the crushing weight of loneliness, and your own shocked mind. Thinking about being that way for years and years and years, somehow surviving. Only to become something a younger you wouldn’t "like". And what that looks like.

Thinking about the Mark that did get rescued, and being left to wonder how many times other versions of himself stumble into bad endings. How long until he becomes something he wouldn't like.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Three for One 8

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, cheating, customer service abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: As a customer service associate, you’re used to work with a wide variety of characters. Your efforts to go above and beyond draw the attention of a certain set of customers who want more than what’s on the shelf.

Character: Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen, Ransom Drysdale

Note: Almost to the holiday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 💞

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

“Well,” Ransom stops in the doorway as you stand on the tile, Ernie at your heels, “grab a bowl for the damn dog.”

You look at him but say nothing. Ernie isn’t mean without reason so you hardly feel bad for him. He must’ve done something really bad to make the giant sweetheart into such a beast.

You go to the counter and reach to the cupboard. He doesn’t offer any direction as you find only glasses and mugs inside. You move to the next; dry goods and cans. You shift back the other way and pop open another door; there’s a stack of bowls inside. A bit small but it’ll have to do.

As you clasp the edge of the bowl, you feel a sudden presence behind you. Before you can react, Ransom is against you, his arms hooking under yours as he cups your tits in his hands. He rocks with you as Ernie snarls.

“Get the dog to shut up,” he squeezes. “Or I’ll feed it bleach.”

You call Ernie’s name. He gives one last rumble but quiets. You set the bowl on the counter as Ransom leans into you, nuzzling your head as he fondles you. You hope he can’t feel your heart pounding.

“Mmm, they feel just as nice as they look. Why don’t you slip that sweater off so I can get a taste,” he pushes you against the counter, “you give that fuzzy-lipped bastard the good stuff–”

“Goddamnit,” Andy’s hiss cuts through the tension. Ransom sighs onto your hair, giving a tweak through the wool before reluctantly parting, “keep your hands to yourself.”

“Oh, come on,” Ransom spins and stomps his foot, “what are we even waiting for? We do all this–” He gestures with his hand, “and you’re bossing me around like a child.”

“You are,” Andy accuses as he approaches and puts down the bag of kibble on the counter, “I salvaged what I can,” he says to you directly.

“Um, thank you,” you swallow. He smiles before he faces the other man again, “we haven’t even opened our presents.”

Ransom narrows his eyes as his cheek ticks. He arches a brow and shrugs, “fine. So why don’t we get it over with?”

“Breakfast first,” Andy insists. “It’s tradition.”

“Who’s fucking tradition?”

“They have to start somewhere, don’t they?” Andy challenges. 

You frown. Tradition. You really hope you don’t have time to build any of those.

“Honey, you stay, help me with breakfast,” Andy turns his back on Ransom, “the other two can get the table ready…” he pauses and looks over his shoulder, “you can handle that, can’t you?”

Ransom’s nostrils flare and he bares his teeth. He kind of reminds you of Ernie when he does that. The dog tilts his head curiously as he watches the scene, ignorant of the words but sensing the vibes.

“You’d be surprised what I’m capable of,” Ransom growls. “Have fun playing fucking house.”

He storms off, his shoulder hitting the door frame in his anger and drawing a grunt from him. You flinch and bring your hands up to wring. Andy tuts and faces the counter, glancing over at you.

“Are you alright, honey?” He asks, letting his hand fingers flutter to the edge of your cuff.

“Yeah,” you answer smally. That’s what he wants. For you to be helpless, to need him. And you do, just not the way he intends. “He… he isn’t nice like you.”

The corners of his lips curve just a little as his eyes search you, “you think so?”

You nod and slide the bowl off the counter, “I’m going to feed Ernie.”

“Alright,” he relents and takes a step back, “uh, yeah, he’s probably starving.”

You move around Andy and dip the bowl into the bag of kibble. He clears his throat and goes to work, pulling down ingredients. Nothing fancy. He sets a box of pancake batter as he pulls the waffle maker away from the wall. Your stomach growls loudly and Andy grins in your direction.

“You too, huh?”

You smile over the bowl of kibble in your hands, “a little, yeah.” You turn to Ernie as he sniffs the air and drools. You go to him and bend your knees to put the bowl on the floor. You know he’s watching. Good, he’s just as simple as the others.

🎀

You’re the only one who seems interested in the meal. Only because it gives you something to focus on to keep your imagination from straying too far. Of course, you’re not as stupid as these men think. You know all too well their intent. Yet there efforts continue to confound you.

You offer to clean up. Another excuse to keep yourself busy. Away from them. Andy insists that he does that task and sends you off the other two to the front room. You’re less than eager to walk between them as they get closer and closer, nearly squishing you as you reach your destination.

You flit away from them and claim a spot in the lone armchair. Ernie follows and sits at your feet. He keeps his head up, panting as he watches the men and you avoid looking at them altogether. Lloyd strolls along the mantle and sucks his teeth as Ransom sits on the extension of the sectional.

“Fucking lame…” Lloyd mutters.

“Tell me about it,” Ransom agrees, the clink of dishes sounding from the kitchen.

You hate to admit it so you won’t, but they’re right. 

Your eyes drift along and settle on the tree. There are a slew of wrapped gifts underneath. They weren’t there the day before.

The awkward silence doesn’t last long as Andy emerges. He looks around, tucking his hands in his pockets as he takes in the room. He’s not in his typical suit. You didn’t take time to notice before but he looks cozy. He wears a blue sweater and a pair of jeans a shade darker. It makes him look softer than usual.

You check the other men. They’re not very festive. They wear what you can only assume is their usual look. Lloyd in a tight black tee which does little to conceal the buds of his nipples. Your gaze wants to fixate there but you resist that odd temptation. He’s paired the dark top with a pair of pine striped ankle pants and velvet loafers. You call it douche formal. The customers who dress like that usually don’t even understand how to check the website.

Then Ransom. Not too dissimilar to Andy but still himself. An ivory sweater with brown pants, a locket peeking out below his collar from the slim gold chain around his neck. It screams rich prick trying too hard to look like he’s not trying.

The one thing these men have in common is their ignorance. They don’t know, they never considered that you can read them. You spent years in retail, you know people. A little more than you like. They took your demeanour as innocent and naive, they don’t consider it as defensive.

“Alright, finally, let’s open some presents,” Andy claps his hands together.

“Before we start,” Lloyd leans beside the mantle, “I have a question?”

Andy looks at him, waiting.

“Shouldn't you be doing this with your family–”

“Shut the fuck up,” Andy snaps but stops himself, showing his palm, “that’s not for you to worry about.”

“I’m looking out for you–”

“I know what you’re doing,” Andy points at him.

Lloyd snickers.

“I’d like to make a suggestion,” Ransom stands, Ernie tense as he does. They look at each other. “Can we put the dog away?

All three men look at Ernie. You look back at them as you reach to pet the dog’s broad head.

“He’s not hurting anyone,” you plead.

“Not yet,” Ransom scoffs.

“Look, pussy cat, you’re lucky that thing’s even here.”

You want to scowl and bite back. They knew you had a dog when they took you. You mentioned him several times. It’s not exactly your fault they didn’t factor him into the equation.

“We don’t want him to get worked up,” Andy assuages, “why don’t you take him to your room for now? We wouldn’t want him to ruin any of your gifts.”

“He won’t,” you argue, not quick enough to stop yourself. “He’s trained.

“I know, honey, but just for a little. He can come back out later.”

“Yeah, or I can drive him out to the highway,” Lloyd snorts.

You furrow your brow at him. He snickers as your anger amuses him. You quickly wipe it away. You can’t lose your cool yet. You slowly get up, stepping over Ernie and exposing a bit too much thigh. You call the dog’s name but he doesn’t move. He knows something’s wrong.

You bend and grab his collar, “come on, buddy, please.”

At first he doesn’t budge but relents as you coax him with quiet whispers. He lets you lead him out, dragging his large paws with your less than urgent pace. You get to the open bedroom and look inside.

“Sorry, Ern,” you say as you nudge him ahead, “it’ll be okay, I promise. Mama take care of you.”

He goes into the room and turns to stare back at you with his doe eyes. You want to melt into a puddle. He’s so cute and sweet. He doesn’t deserve all this. If it was just you, you’d fight, but you have to worry about him. 

You shut the door and go back to the living room. The men seem anxious as you enter. Ransom pinches the locket around his neck between his fingers, Andy smooths the front of his sweater with his large hand, and Lloyd digs his heel into the floor as he picks his fingernail.

“Alright,” Andy exhales as he faces you, “so, honey, you start.”

You blink at him and cross your arms. You don’t know what he means. You glance around, between each of them.

“Open a gift,” Andy steps back and gestures to the tree, “they’re all for you.”

Your stomach churns and your heart flips. Something about this is off. Not just that you’ve been abducted or this weird house with locks on the doors and deafening walls. More than these men and their incessant leers. There’s more than a dozen presents, for you alone, but why?

“Me?” You pull your arms apart and force them down to your sides, clutching the weave of the sweater dress.

“Go on,” Lloyd encourages with a wink.

You restrain yourself as best you can. Fear courses through you as you try to unravel their riddle. What are they up to? They’re watching you like wolves, prowling, ready to pounce, so why don’t they?

You tiptoe forward and as you near Andy, he stays exactly where he is. You brush against him and feel his breath fan over you. You pass Ransom as he once more sits on the foot of the sectional. 

You stop before the tree and consider the array of gifts; boxes, bags, and wrapped bundles. It’s the sort of haul any child dreams of. You remember the Christmas Eves you lay awake sleepless hoping for just this. Waking to only a new pair of socks and a couple toiletries from the group home. You didn’t often get what you wanted, but you could get by with what you needed.

You bend your knees, the hem of the sweater rising up your thighs as you reach for a small box. You stand and turn to the men, staring down at the red box with a gold bow on top. You gulp and peek up at them. They all just watch. 

You wiggle the lid until it pops off. You reveal a pair of dangling pearl earrings. They’re pretty. Probably real but you don’t have the eye to tell. You peer up again, confused. It’s actually a very nice gift.

“Who’s it from?” Andy asks.

You flinch and check the tag. You should’ve done that first. You pull it straight as it hides under the tail of the bow, “Ransom,” you read.

“Ha!” He claps his hands, together then on his knees, “fuck yeah.”

“Huh?” You utter dumbly.

“Shit,” Lloyd mutters and Andy lets his disappointment flow out heavily.

“What…” you can’t finish the question.

“Pretty nice gift, huh?” Ransom taunts, “so, uh, what’s my gift, sweetheart?”

You grimace and examine the wall behind him, “I don’t… have anything…”

“Actually,” he interjects, “I think you do. Why don’t you pop those on, then pop your tits out?”

You gape at him. He bites his lip as you stand dumbfounded and humiliated. Lloyd chuckles and Andy growls as he paces, sitting in the armchair.

“I don’t…”

“It’s an exchange, not free for all, you got yours. I get mine,” he tilts his head, “so put those on and let me fuck your tits.”

You close your mouth. You’re not surprised but you’re not ready either. You didn’t expect them to hold out forever but you need more time. The problem is they’re not playing by your schedule, you have to adjust to yours. That means, you’ll be working from behind.

“I’m waiting,” Ransom huffs, “you know, you’re being pretty ungrateful there, sweetheart.”

Andy plants his elbow on the armrest as you look at him, “do it.”

“But…” you pout, “you said…”

“He gave you a gift,” Andy said. “He won’t hurt you. I’m here.”

You nearly drop the box. What does he mean he won’t hurt you? You don’t want to do that.

Well…

You don’t have a choice. As rotten as it is, it will only be worse if you refuse. You lower your chin and nod. You turn to set the box down on the small table just beside the couch, too close to Ransom. He snickers as you hear his zipper whisper down. Oh god.

You pull out your plain gold hoops and replace them with the teardrop pearls. You feel them dangle between your fingertips and raise your head. Worse than what you’re about to do is the audience. This isn’t just you being violated, this is that violation being witnessed.

You walk along the sectional and Ransom catches your wrist, pulling you forward impatiently. He turns you to face him. Your eyes widen as you try not to look lower than you need to. His cock bobs at the edge of your vision.

“Take this off,” he touches the hem of the dress.

You spread your sweaty palms over the wool. Slowly, you tug it upwards. Your skin speckles with goosebumps as you reveal your nakedness to the room. You stand only in the knee highs and panties.

“Damn,” Lloyd clucks, “an ass on this one.”

Andy doesn’t comment, he only hums as the chair creaks under his weight.

“Get down,” he orders.

You hold your breath and obey. You get to your knees as Ransom plays with himself. You can’t look him in the face and you definitely don’t want to look down. You stare instead at his sweater.

“Push your tits together,” he demands.

Again, you listen. It’s like you’re in a trance. The room is fuzzy and your body is hollow. He laughs again and taps his tip against your tits.

“Fuck, those are some nice tits,” he remarks, grabbing your shoulder to urge your closer.

He slips his dick between your cleavage. His throbbing head pokes up above the swell of flesh. He dips down and back up, rocking you by your shoulder as he guides you. You move with him, fighting back the tide of repulsion.

“That’s it,” he coaxes, “come on and give it a kiss, sweetheart.”

You flinch. He squeezes your shoulder. A warning. You bend your head and kiss his tip as it once more pokes above your cleavage. He groans and his hand moves to cover one of yours, making you grope yourself tighter.

“Fuck,” he rasp, “you know what…” he turns to Andy, reminding you of the others, of them watching you, “I think I get it now.” He winks at you as you fuck his length with your tits, “good fucking choice, Barber.”

[cevansbrat0007]

Hello 🤗 I am back to cause chaos lol I have had this thought for days. What about the reaction of Andy and or Ari if there girl goes and gets waxed down there and they usually go to a woman but this time it was a man ?

Summary: Ari doesn't approve of your latest trip to the spa.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Jealous/Possessive Ari Levinson, Arguments, Smut, Discussions of Personal Grooming Habits, Manhandling, Oral Sex (fem rec), Ass Slapping, Cursing, Minors DNI.

A/N: Part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

You and Ari are in the middle of a conversation one evening, with both of you taking turns catching the other up on the events of your day. 

“Anyway, I can’t wait to try their new, revamped line of body butters they’ve got coming out next month.” You pause for a moment to shut the dishwasher before dutifully pressing start. “I remember the first time I used their hibiscus and papaya scrub – wait. Or was it the oil?”

You cast a glance over your shoulder at your handsome Bounty Hunter who’s been busy holding up a wall in your kitchen ever since he walked in the door less than fifteen minutes ago. You’re not the least bit surprised when you see him shrug, the poor man looking so lost it was almost comical.    

“Eh, I can’t quite remember.” Your fingers come up to tap your chin. “But whatever it was, it seriously had me smelling so good practically all flippin’ day.” 

Satisfied, you return your attention back to tidying up your kitchen. Since Ari had texted saying he’d already eaten and you hadn’t wanted to leave the clean-up to the last minute, you’d decided to tackle it before you got too tired and didn’t feel like doing it anymore.

“Now, Beast, if you find yourself hungry in the middle of the night you just go on and help yourself. And don’t forget about the biscuits.” You tell him as you move to wash your hands. “They are literally the backbone of the entire dish.”

A beat goes by before your rugged companion responds. And when he finally does, it’s with something you least expect.  

“So, I take it there weren’t any, uh, other lady waxers workin’ at that fancy spa place of yours today?” Ari coughs, appearing more than a little uncomfortable with the subject matter at hand. 

“Huh?” Confused, you lean back against the countertops before bracing yourself on your elbows. “That’s all you managed to get out of the last ten minutes?”

His sheepish response of “well, yeah” has you shaking your head in exasperation. 

“Of course there were. The staff at Ostara is almost all exclusively female.”   

“Oh. It’s just that…” He gazes up at the ceiling, almost like he’s waiting for the right words to come tumbling down out of the sky. “When I asked how your day was a little bit ago, you mentioned that someone named Michèle handled your waxing appointment. I just assumed it was a woman...” 

“Nope.” You reply, crossing your arms over your chest. “Michèle is most definitely a guy.”  

“Okay.” Ari blows out an uncertain breath the same time as one of his big hands comes to rub at the back of his neck. “Not too sure how I feel about that.”

“About what?”

He gives a lame shrug before jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “‘I guess I’m just not too keen on the idea of another man seeing you…like that. In fact I know I’m not.”

His words have your mouth falling open. “Beast!” You exclaim, slapping an incredulous hand to your forehead. “I promise that we kept everything strictly professional.”

“Never said it wasn’t.” He mumbles, even as he continues glowering at you from across the room.   

“Welp, now that we cleared that up I think I’m ready for bed.” You push away from the counter, intending to put an end to the discussion by heading upstairs. Although a part of you should’ve known that it couldn’t possibly be that easy. “If you decide you wanna join me, you might wanna try getting over yourself first.” 

“Now hold on.” He goes to reach for you as you pass by, but because you see it coming, you manage to dance out of the way. “Bird, wait!”

You simply didn’t have the energy to argue with him about something as trivial as this tonight. He could get over it, or he could go home.

“Slow down a second, woman!”

To your credit, you manage to make it all the way to the top of the stairs and into your bedroom without looking back once. Not that you needed to anyway since you could feel that your Bounty Hunter was hot on your heels. 

“Hey!” Ari growls, snagging a fistful of your oversized sleepshirt and hauling you flush against his hard chest. “You know I hate it when you walk away in the middle of a conversation. Drives me fuckin’ nuts every single time.”

Now that you knew to be true. It was part of the reason you always kept that move in your back pocket. Because it always bought you time while pissing him off. 

“You were being ridiculous.” You tell him, reaching behind you to twine your arms around his neck. “But if you’re finished, I suppose I could be convinced to let you take me to bed.” 

All is quiet for a moment as your eyes flutter closed, your body content to relax as you listen to the sound of his heartbeat. A hint of a smile tugs at your mouth when you feel two large, warm hands settle on your hips, followed by a whisper of lips tracing along the shell of your ear. 

“How ‘bout you finish telling me about why you let another man see what’s mine?” While Ari manages to keep his tone low and even, there’s no mistaking the fact that he’s pissed.

And just like that, the spell is broken. Immediately, you pull away – surprised when he lets you go. 

“Seriously?” You snap, almost tripping over your own two feet. “I already told you, the girl who usually does it called in sick. What else did you expect me to do, Ari? Skip it?”

“Well, maybe.” Ari grunts, his sensual lips curving into a frown. “Not sure why you even felt the need to subject yourself to that shit in the first place. I had no idea when I left you this morning that you were planning to abuse my pussy like that.” You watch as he runs an agitated hand through his chestnut locks. 

“Just so we’re clear, this is my body we’re talking about, okay? Which means I'm in control of what happens to it.” You perch on the edge of the bed, your entire body bristling with annoyance. It was a shame that your man refused to let this one ride.

“Bullshit.” He hisses before grabbing the bottom of his faded gray t-shirt and dragging it over his head. “I’m not talking about your body, I’m talking about my pussy. The same greedy cunt I find myself feedin’ damn near everyday.”

“Oh, don’t be crass.” Your tone is rife with indignation, even as you feel your cheeks heat. 

“Who the hell’s bein’ crass, Duchess? All I’m doing is telling the truth.” Next he goes to work on his jeans, unfastening the button and zipper before dragging them down his legs and kicking them into a random corner of the room, leaving him clad in only a pair of black boxer briefs. “I tell you all the time about how fucking greedy she is, don’t I?”

Okay, fine. But that didn’t mean he had to be so loud about it. So what if you hadn’t been the type to enjoy sex all that much before Ari came along? Now you couldn’t get enough. Where was the crime, officer?  

“I’m not that greedy.” You pout, doing your best to ignore the wetness coating your thighs.

“Baby.” Ari murmurs, bridging the distance so that he can bend down to take your lips in a brief kiss. “How many times have you been done – I’m talking absolutely spent – and she hasn’t wanted to let me go?” He briefly distracts himself by twisting one of your curls around his finger. “So I’ve gotta take you again. Fuck you even longer and harder so she’ll finally let us both get some rest.” 

“I–I’m not even sure I know what you’re talking about.” Except you absolutely did know what he was talking about. And it was absolutely true. Well, most of it anyway. 

“Is that so?” Ari murmurs as his voice dips, his tone pitched to arouse. “Then perhaps you need me to help jog your memory.” His leans in trail a line of soft, sensual kisses along the curve of your throat. 

“Maybe.” You rasp, tilting your chin up so as to grant him easier access. 

“I’ll do whatever you want so long as today is the last day I ever have to hear about you letting another man see what’s mine.”

“That is IT!” You snap, shooting off the bed so fast you barely miss smacking heads. “Fuck you, Ari Levinson! If you’re so hellbent on making something out of nothing then you can just see yourself out already.”

“I can’t help it if what I’m feeling actually feels like something instead of nothing.” You can’t help but notice the way his heated gaze tracks your every movement. 

“For the last time, I went to a salon and spa to see a licensed esthetician for a professional waxing appointment like I have done for ages. Today it just so happened to be with a guy.” This time when he tries to touch you’re quick to slap his hand away. “Nothing happened other than me enduring having hot wax poured onto, and then subsequently ripped off of, my nether regions. That is it.” You huff, poking him in the chest with your finger. 

“And I’m trying to tell you that you didn’t need to put yourself through all that.” You jump when he nips at the offending finger, gently catching it between his teeth. “Not for me. I don’t mind a little hair. Doesn’t bother me any.”

Well, you would be sure to file that one away for future reference.

“But I didn’t do it for you, you goof!” You yank your hand away, attempting to put some distance between yourself and the annoying, half-naked Bounty Hunter standing in front of you. “I did it for me. It’s part of my…my self-care, or whatever.” Your pulse speeds up when you watch him reach inside his boxers to adjust his rapidly hardening cock. “Okay? But I won’t use Michèle again if it bothers you that much.”

“Appreciate that.” Ari nods once, his perfect teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he slowly backs you into a corner. “But I wanna put it on record that I’m the type of man who’s gonna enjoy his meal however you’re fixin’ to serve it, sweet Bird.”

Holy shit. Why the fuck did that make your pussy gush the way it just did?

“M–meaning?” You gasp when you collide with a nearby wall. Grinning, Ari slips a wandering hand between your bodies, pleased when he finds you naked and wet for him. He cups your bare pussy, reveling in the way your sticky honey eagerly coats his palm.  

“I just don’t want you thinkin’ about depriving me because you’re in between appointments, or 'cuz your regular gal has to reschedule.” You let out a whimper when Ari grinds the heel of his palm against your swollen clit. “I’m afraid that’s not going to work for me. Or, I suspect, for her.” 

“You’re so bossy.” You whine, rising on your toes as he continues to tease you. “You really gotta work on that.”

“You think so, beautiful Bird?” He gazes down at you through lidded eyes, his easy grin bordering on indulgent. And then he applies more pressure, not missing the way your toes curl into the plush carpet as pleasure begins to overwhelm you.        

“Uh huh.” Your hands go to grip his forearm, perhaps hoping to better increase the friction. 

“Then I reckon I just might owe you an apology.” And truth be told, he recognized that he probably did. It was entirely possible that he let the whole Michèle thing bother him more than it ought to. Perhaps he’d sleep on it and see how he felt about it all tomorrow. Or not.

But for now, there was something else he could do to help mend things – provided he was willing to get a little filthy. 

Ari surprises you by removing his hand. But just when you’re about to pitch a fit, he drops to his knees in front of you. “Let me make it up to you, sweetheart.” He begins as his fingers trail their way along the soft skin of your calf. “Let me apologize for giving into some of my baser instincts, like the neanderthal you’ll probably wanna claim that I am.”

“Beast–” You open your mouth to respond, only to let out a surprised squeal when he picks up your leg and drapes it over one of his broad shoulders. “Jesus!”

“Hush.” He then leans in to bestow a hot, open mouthed kiss to your exposed pussy. He groans against your most intimate flesh, savoring the sweet, earthy taste of you. “Need to make sure she’s okay before I start apologizing too much.” Is all he says before he goes back to burying his face between your thighs, nuzzling at your glistening folds with the tip of his nose. 

“Are you sensitive anywhere?” Ari growls, his voice coming out slightly muffled as he circles your throbbing bundle of nerves with his skilled tongue. “Sore?”

“No.” You breathe, lightly running your fingers through his dark brown strands. “In fact, I feel ah-may-zing.” You finish with a tiny giggle.

“Good.” 

That’s your only warning before your world suddenly shifts as Ari tosses your other leg over his shoulder. Next thing you know, he’s back to standing at his full height. And you’re now touching the ceiling with your thighs locked around his head.     

“Omigosh!” You cry, the sound of your nervous laughter filling the room. “You’re gonna hurt yourself if you don’t – ooh…oh God yes…yesyesyes!” You smack your open palm against the ceiling as your Bounty Hunter begins to eat you like a man starved. 

“Oh don’t stop, Beast, please!” You sob, grinding your dripping pussy against Ari’s face, soaking his beard just the way he likes.  

Words, rough and unintelligible, rumble out from somewhere deep in his chest. And while you may not be able to understand him, you know exactly what he’s trying to tell you. His hands gripping your ass to hold you in place are enough to drive the message home. 

You were to take everything he gave you like a good girl. His good girl. So you do. You practically scream yourself hoarse as Ari takes his time tormenting you with every sensual flick, every tortuous swirl of his wide, flat tongue.

He gets off on the way he's making your legs shake, the sound of you unbridled cries and soft whimpers leaving him painfully hard. But still he doesn’t stop. He continues taking his time, worshiping you the best way he knows how.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Ari grunts when he finally comes up for air, his breaths coming in sharp pants. “But I’m still gonna need a little more time to work on my apology.” One of his hands delivers a swift blow to your ass, making you yip. “Really need to reconsider my behavior today while I put a fresh spitshine on my pussy.” He winks at you then, letting you know that he means every word.

“I’m sure she won’t mind.” He quips with a grin, his chin still shiny with your juices. “And neither will you.”

END

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[quibbs126]

have you done elder faerie and dark cacao…

So I ended up getting on this because I saw an announcement for an eldercacao week, but it also means I got through this design, so here we are with Silver Clay Cookie

So Silver Clay here is supposed to be a weaponsmith, though she specializes in silver weapons. She's got a noticeable amount of silver in her dough, and it makes her have a particular attunement to metal, as well as being able to shape it out of clay. It makes her pretty important around the Faerie Kingdom

She's also a bit of a germophobe, and hates stains. They don't really get on her, but she's got a bit of a compulsive need to get rid of germs and such when she sees them. She also instinctively does not like the yeast creatures around the Faeriewood, for the same reasons (it's because silver is antibacterial)

She generally lives in the Faerie Kingdom, and is expected to take up the mantle of Guardian if something ever happens to Elder Faerie. She does visit the Dark Cacao Kingdom, but not often with the Licorice Sea being a barrier. The metal powers make her more important to the Faeries than the Dark Cacao Kingdom

She has a tendency to be rather high strung, and has inherited some of her father's (Dark Cacao's) traits of not really letting loose and relaxing. If you see her at a party outside of the start of it, it's because someone's keeping her there or because she's multitasking. It makes her odd among the Faeries, but she doesn't pay it much mind in favor of more work

She also doesn't really have wings, due to only being half Faerie. She says it doesn't bother her, but it always kind of has, at least in the back of her mind. She wonders if things would be better if she grew up and lived in the Dark Cacao Kingdom, but she usually shakes it off as it doesn't really matter, she's living in the Faerie Kingdom

Where she stands post Beast Yeast Episode 2, I don't really know. I haven't put much thought into where she fits in the timeline, since I don't know when Elder Faerie and Dark Cacao would have hypothetically met. That's also why there's no mention of Dark Choco here either

I don't think I have much else to say on her, so let's move on to design things

So I actually didn't spend much time on picking a name. Her name's Silver Clay because silver is associated with the Faerie Cookies, and I know someone used it in a chocolate knife once. Silver Choco was also a consideration, but I went against it because I feel like I give too many Cacao kids the name "Choco". That's about it

I probably could have come up with a better name if I had spent more time on it, but I didn't, so

Silver clay (idk I couldn't find a good picture of the clay itself):

To be honest, I don't really know what to put here

Her design's me trying to mix Elder Faerie and Dark Cacao design elements. Though I do also feel like she ended up being too plain at the end

I mean she is supposed to be a weaponsmith, with that being her primary role outside of her princess status, so I guess it works? But also I still feel like she's plain looking. Maybe she needs an alternate outfit

I'm gonna be honest, my main takeaway from Silver Clay is that she's underbaked. I did not spend much time at all fleshing out her concept, or in general the concept of an eldercacao kid. I didn't really even have a name and I went with the first idea that popped into my head. She has not been marinating

I feel like I feel this way with a lot of recent fankids. I guess I really don't have as much time to think about them as I did before, but in general I feel like I haven't been putting as much thought into them. And their designs just come out okay to me. But maybe I'm just being too hard on myself?

It doesn't really help that if I do wait, I get even more backup than I already do. Like, the 100+ unfinished requests will never be done. And even at this rate, it'll be forever until I finish one. This person's lucky I happened to have something force me to do this request

But yeah, I don't know. I guess Silver Clay isn't terrible, but she's undercooked in my opinion. I feel like I could have done better

But I hope you at least enjoy her

[whole-circus]

can i please request nsfw headcanons with laughing jack and candy Pop ?? thanks youss 🫶🏻

Candy Pop and Laughing Jack NSWF hcs!

➥ Hiiii!! (pretty clown boys im drooling). Here you go! And again sorry that i kept you waiting!!!! >:(( Ofc please remember about safe sex always and things like that!!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

Candy Pop

Yeah he is big king, and I mean it, he is huge everywhere! Candy isnt human, so things like "average size" doesnt applicable to him, basic laws of nature doesnt exist either. Bold assumptions that he would be more than 10-12inches (25-30cm) when hard and he is thicc! Such a yummy dick and pretty too! Shape doesnt look human tho! Candy has couple of veins here and there, and is well trimmed (he just cares about his look so much, not like you can complain). Good luck with taking him - at least he can hit all your sweet spots easly. Absolute nightmare if you are virgin!

Candy is defintely a top! He just loves using his power and big posture against you! All that to make you feel completely under his control, relying only on him. Loves making absolute mess from you, the state when you cant even think properly and just moan needly his name while bouncing on his cock - he lives for that so much. There is no better view than his pet being obdient and good just for him! There is a small chance that he would let you dom him, but its one in a milion tbh - Candy just loves "taking care" for you too much!

Such a kinky and freaky beast pls!! Like bondage, spanking, BDSM, pet play, size kink, breeding, degradation!!! Sign him in, he is so willing to try anything and everything!! Boy has seen a lot so you wont suprise him anyways. When you two are having sex, he loves choosing risky places when you two could have been seen! Candy does have something from exhibicionist and get off so much from the thought that someone would see you both! Big on making you cry, he so so mean i swear! Doesn't let you cum without his persmission, says many mean things or maybe its becasue of pain? Can't wait to see you looking up at him with your teary eyes! Candy Pop is also rough partner, constantly grabbing and pulling your hair ust to look at him. Give him blowjob if you are brave enough! He knows that he is huge and wont fit into your tight throat, but will try to shove as much as he can!

VERY VOCAL!! He moans, screams, whimper,, just anything! Making so many sounds like his own life depends on it! Also great dirty talker, you are wet just from his voice! LOVES CALLING YOU HIS PET! Or things like slut, dumb fucktoy, and things like kitten or filthy dog..But he has his cutie patootie side too! Sweetie, cutie, pup, baby (tho he likes to use it when he mocks you)! HE ALSO LOVES WHEN YOU CALL HIM NAMES THAT EMPHASIZE HIS POWER OVER YOU!! Master and sir are his thing, but he is curious what can you come up with!

Loves positions like doggy, cowgirl (doesnt matter if reversed or not, he just want you do all the work!) and listen!! he is big and strong and stuff so he can actually hold you against the wall and just fuck you when he hold you (usually for quickies). Candy also loves taking you on the table/kitchen counter - anywhere like that! Will grind against your butt with his bulge, and be ready to be humped when you two sleep pacefully!

When it comes to aftercare..it is here but nothing too special. Will definitely praise you after sex, telling you how good did you do, helps you out with potential hurts you got during - otherwise he will just lay here with you, caressing your back and hair.

Laughing Jack

Another huge and inhuman cock..good luck! Jack is way more on lenght than thiccnes, but i assure that you wont complain when he will pound into you! Also, he is not a human, so we ignore there basic laws of nature - i would say he is around 8-10 inches (20-25cm) long when hard. Has cute little bush, one sensitive vein on the back and no, his dick isnt in black-white stripes.. Second virgin nightmare, but what is the worst thing that can happen?

Jack defnitely prefers to be dominant one, usually he is this sweet and soft kind of dom..but be aware of his more rougher side, just give him a bit of time! That dosnt mean that he won't be sub..gladly will become one just for you! Just keep in mind that he is bratty as hell, not obeying any of your command..looks like he needs good punishment to put him in line!

Romantic love making with all this cheesy stuff like candles and roses >> rough sex rawr. I will propably dissapoint you all freaks, but nothing too hardcore? Jack is pretty loving and sensual partner once you are together, so the thought of hurting you in any way (even if its for your pleasure) would put him off a bit. But he is open to trying new things, just nothing too kinky! Enjoys marking you in diffrent forms - biting, straching you with his sharp nails or just giving you hickeys, he loves that so much..! Please pull his hair - or let him do the same to you, it doesnt matter at this point! Huge on breeding, loves the though of getting you all full with his cum..(no worries, even if you cant be pregnant!). And when it comes to oral.. he is so amazing at giving it! Jack has such a long tongue, ready to reach all your sweet spots or wrap around your whole lenght! If you would be the one giving, he might be a bit scared because he knows well how big he is, so it might take him a bit convincing.

Much of a whimper..! Makes such a cute and needy noises i swear to god. Jack doesnt really moan, but it happens to scream your name while growling! Also dirty talking can be a bit awkward sometimes, but most of the times he is doing great job and keep you both away frm this uncomfy silence!

Doesnt really like degrading you, sex is more of love making for you both and he just want to show you his feelings! You end up being sweetheart, love, darling or little one - he is sucker for this cute petnames. When it comes to him, he is fine with being just Jack or other sweet petnames, but wont complain if you call him daddy!

Jack especially likes the positions when he can see your face and have easy access you every part of your body! So missionary (pls, you two holding hands when he slams into you!), cowgirl and pretty much enjoyes 69. Special place in his heart goes to normal sex during cuddles or to cockwarming!

AFTERCARE IS SO SWEET WITH HIM! Whatever you need, he will bring it up to you! He will glady cuddle with you to sleep after he made sure you are clean and hydrated, but is as much cool with just hugging you ad talk about small, silly things.

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

[kidstemplatte]

Terzo becoming a dad of twin girls!! Pweaaase? 🥰

dad! terzo w/ twin daughters

(implications of female reader)

this was so fun to write! thank you, anon! 🥺i hope you enjoy and it didn’t disappoint! <3

he absolutely cries when he finds out you two are having twins.

he’s so nervous. worried he won’t be a good father. these babies haven’t even been born yet and they’ve become his whole world.

you have to eat more during a twin pregnancy. this man FEEDS YOU.

i feel like he can cook. he’s always making you the best (italian) food, making sure you’re eating enough.

he does so much research he ends up knowing things YOU didn’t know.

he’s always nose deep into some parenting book or staying up in the late hours of the night reading articles.

soon he has mastered the art of carrying two babies at once.

he is such a funny dad. so funny. will do ANYTHING to make his girls laugh.

they love playing dress up!

except he’s the one being dressed up.💀

he makes an absolute show of it. he loves hearing his daughters laugh and he’ll do anything to make it happen.

“you know, you kind of rock a tutu.” you say, walking in during one of their makeovers.

to save time getting ready in the mornings, he learns how to do their hair, and before you know it, he’s a BEAST at it and can braid hair in a matter of seconds.

god forbid they get a hold of his face paint.

he leaves them alone for ONE moment. ONE minute. he comes back. they are both covered in black and white paint.

“ay, nononononono, not before school!!”

the girls want to be ghoulettes for halloween. every year.

“girls, what about something else? we can get you any costume you want. anything in the world.”

“ghoulettes.” they’d say in unison.

he spoils them rotten, buys them endless toys, matching stuffed animals, dolls… but in the process, falls in love with a specific brand:

i don’t even know how i came up with this, but i feel like terzo would love monster high dolls.

he’s in the store… mindlessly walking through the toy aisle. vet barbie, pilot barbie, pool party barbie, doctor barbie...

when all of a sudden, he lays eyes on something new. something exciting.

a “monster high” doll.

now that’s cool.

probably keeps two in his office, each of his girls’ favorite characters.

i lowkey feel like he enjoys some of the shows they watch. i can see him rocking with my little pony.

he loves playing with the girls. he loves their imagination.

gets VERY invested in the barbie storylines they come up with. does high pitched voices when he’s acting out the girl dolls and it makes the twins laugh until they’re rolling on the ground.

he also keeps all the drawings they make him, every single one. they’re also on display in his office.

he knows what it feels like to feel unequal to his siblings so he is very careful to make sure they both get the same amount of love and attention. ❤️

if they fight as they get older, he doesn’t get involved. he knows girls are scary when they’re mad. he lets you handle that. 💀

very invested in the school gossip when they get to that age. when he picks them up from school he’s always eager to know what happened.

protective. VERY anti-boy.

“wait, you said… DATING?” he says when the girls mention a new couple one day.

“yeah dad, we’re in 7th grade now.”

“yeah, dad.”

“NO BOYS! not now, not ever. they are stupid and ugly and think about nothing but themselves.” (he knows this because he was one💀)

(you know the scene from the movie “coco” where the grandma says “no music” over and over again? yeah, replace “music” with “boys”. same energy.)

teaches them about girl power from an early age.

of course, their mother leads the conversation, but he’s so dedicated to help these girls understand their worth. that they can be anything they want.

he already considered himself a feminist before having his daughters, but after having them, he is THE #1 feminist.

when they start talking about crushes, you have to explain to terzo that it’s normal and bound to happen one day.

he just loves his girls so much, he doesn’t want them to grow up🥲

but, uh…

god forbid any boy breaks one of their hearts.

oh, he is not above pulling the satan card on a 13 year old boy.

but you know, one quick google search of “emeritus” will do the trick. any boy will be sure to understand why messing with either of terzo’s girls is a death wish.🥰

___________________________________

i hope you enjoyed and this brought some light to your day!!! honestly i’m a little obsessed😭 hope you’re doing well!! remember you’re loved!!!❤️❤️❤️

[aboutcustardcreams]

The monster within you

[ z. s & c. g ]

part 1

two

Zelda is sitting against the headboard of your shared king size bed, one hand is securely wrapped around your waist, while the other gently unties the knots in your hair offering you a soothing massage. You can feel her heartbeat, with your face buried in her sternum, it is one of the prettiest sounds to ever exist. Cordelia is laying down on her stomach, on yours and Zelda's left. Her fingertips draw abstract patters over your knee, while you stroke and play with her golden curls in return. She loves it when you touch her hair, the faint sounds that slip from her mouth from time to time tell you so.

"I wish it was always like this," your voice is small, yet Zelda hears you.

She hums, her thumb brushes against your hip gently, "It can be," she adds, her tone makes you blush and giggle.

Cordelia is rather quiet, probably enjoying your cuddle, or lost in her thoughts, but you don't think too much of it. You're all together, after all. It's all you have ever wanted.

"When we don't have to work, yes," you point out, rhetorically.

Zelda pats your thigh playfully, eyebrows snapping up, "I thought you liked to teach."

You chuckle again, "I do," your eyes drift close for a moment, when you feel Zelda's fingers work skillfully to massage your scalp, "But I love this more," she hums pleasantly at your admission, that comes out barely whispered.

"Never a truer word, little witch," she can't hide the smile if she tries.

"Darling," Zelda searches Cordelia's eyes tentatively, that hasn't really joined the chat as per usual. The blonde witch hums blankly, and blinks softly as if she had been sleeping with open eyes all this time, "you've been zoning out for a while," her tone isn't accusing, it's soft and firm at the same time.

"Oh," she takes in a guilty sigh, then proceeds on propping herself up on her elbows, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking."

You and Zelda share a look, both anxious and confused. Your hand moves to search for hers, laying upon the matters.

"Whatever it is must be important to keep you from us," you mutter jokingly, never averting your gaze from her. Cordelia licks her lips, a clear sign of meek discomfort. Guilt, maybe? "What is it?", you insist softly, "is it about the Academy, perhaps?"

"No, I'm not worried about that," she voices faintly, but with conviction. You wait for her to continue, "the girls can manage quite fine even without me supervising," she is sincere about it, both you and Zelda don't feel the need to question her, so you nod.

"Then what is it?", the redhead pressures.

Cordelia sighs in thought, before nibbling on her bottom lip. She ponders on the words to use, not wanting to be misunderstood or accused of being judgmental regarding certain topics.

"You can tell us anything," you mutter gently, causing the Supreme to crack a grateful smile in your direction.

"I know, I can," she lifts your hand to her mouth, that you had placed upon hers, and leaves a timid kiss on your knuckles. The number of times these two witches make you blush and melt as a mere bunch of snow left in the sun is utterly embarrassing.

"We come from different Covens and traditions. Here some of you have signed your name in the book of the beast," she trails off, seriously glancing up to the to of you, alternatively.

You give a hesitant nod.

"Unfortunately, I have, yes," it's the redhead to speak first, "does it bother you?", she whispers, brows quirked almost in fear.

"No, not at all," she is quick to clarify, shaking her head with conviction. Of course, she knew that about Zelda, but for some reason, she never knew much about you, considering you only joined the Church of Night later in your life, "I'm wondering, if you have too, Celeste?"

Zelda purses her lips and says nothing. She is glad she is sitting behind you, so that you can't immediately capture her actual frame of mind through those eyes that can't really lie to you.

You let out a small smile, realizing you've never really talked about it, considered the circumstances that brought you in Greendale in the first place. Lucifer was already dead, when you reached the threshold of the town, in search for a Coven, a place to stay, a family most of all. You move slightly, to sit more upright. Zelda's hands never leave you for one second.

"No, I never got the chance," you finally admit, and you can feel Zelda's body tense up at your weak admission. You wonder why, but you don't voice it out loud. "Both of you know I was adopted by mortals. I know nothing about my biological parents, so when I turned sixteen, there was nobody to push me into signing my name in the book of the beast," you finally lift your head to confront with your girlfriends' eyes, suddenly afraid to have said something wrong, "is it... a problem?"

Cordelia seems serene. An encouraging and adoring smile is plastered upon her lips, "Why would it be?", she squeezes your hand in a comforting way. Zelda remains quiet, instead. She is dying to ask you the question, the same question that the Supreme is keeping in, while mastering the courage to bring it out. Zelda isn't sure if she is more relieved by the information you've just given away, or concerned. If you didn't sign your name, that meant your life was way briefer than hers. And same was for Cordelia. She holds you a bit tighter and deep in thought, she buries her nose in the nape of your neck. There is fierce protectiveness behind that gesture, a fondness you meet in Cordelia's actions as well.

"So, you're not immortal?", she asks secondly.

You giggle and Zelda rolls her eyes, "Witches aren't immortal, Dee."

"No, no I know they aren't but, those that sign their name live for centuries," she has a point, "I, for instance, have the same life span of a mortal. Same as you, I presume," her eyes swift towards you.

Zelda's lips pursue in a grimace. Her demeanor changes at once. She is sure now, she definitely doesn't like it. She wouldn't admit it out loud, not right now at least, but she hated that. Not the fact that you didn't sign your name as form of devotion toward the Dark Lord, she couldn't care less of him. That would have bothered her years before, when she was still naive to the ways of Lucifer Morningstar. All she worried about was the little life both you and Cordelia had, compared to hers.

"That's true," you say simply, unsure about how to feel about it.

"But you can always change that," Zelda finally speaks. It was a statement, however there was a hint of a question tone in it.

Both you and Cordelia lift an eyebrow at that.

"By selling my soul to whom?", the Supreme asks immediately, "I thought Lucifer Morningstar was dead."

"He is, but it's now Lilith to be queen of Hell," she interjects, without hesitation, "And it's not about selling your soul... not anymore, considering he is gone. Lilith would grant you what Lucifer can't anymore, without the same... obligations."

The Supreme hesitates a few seconds, and Zelda gives her the time to take in that information. You stay quiet too and find yourself fidgeting with the hems of your shirt.

"Let me get things straight," Cordelia starts again, serious in tone. "You're saying that Lilith, the mother of Demons, the first temptress and female sinner, guards a celestial power within her that can share with all witches?"

"Exactly," Zelda nods. "Plus, she drank Lucifer's blood, so her unholiness is even stronger."

Cordelia's posture loosens slightly. She looks less concerned, more relaxed as the doubts she had are subsiding. But you still grasp some skepticism in her eyes, and you can't really blame her as you have it too. There is always a price to anything, that's the first rule you learned while mastering your magic skills.

However, for some reason, Lilith didn't scare you as much as Lucifer did. And the stories you've heard about both helped you building that sentiment. Moreover, you didn't think of Lilith as pure evil. You believed she had her reasons to do what she did. All she wanted, back in the Garden of Eden was equality between her and Adam. In your opinion, it was something worth fighting for, and if the False God banished her simply for that, then it was his loss.

Cordelia and Zelda exchange a worried look, your thoughts probably a little louder than intended.

"Hey... are you alright?", the redhead pushes a lock of hair behind your ear, then runs a finger under your chin, guiding you to meet your eyes.

Cordelia's brow furrows as she waits.

"Yeah, positive," you crack a smile, dismissing the topic with a gentle wave of hand, "I guess it was my turn to zone out for a moment," your teasing tone causes both witches to chuckle softly.

Cordelia pushes herself up, sitting right in front you and Zelda with cross-legged, "Do you ever wish to sign your name? Would you ever?"

You open your mouth to say something, but it takes you a bunch of seconds to come up with a response. Zelda chews on her inner cheek, apprehensively for some reason.

"Possibly," you shrug, "I would lie if I said I didn't think about it. My wish is to live with both you and Zelda for as long as possible. I know mortal lives compared to witch ones only last a blink of eye. So maybe, eventually... I think I might."

You look between them and wait. You don't know if that was the right thing to say, nor if they would agree with such a decision. It takes you a look to grasp the emotion in their eyes and you find yourself exhale in relief. They aren't disappointed as you feared they would be, rather touched in truth. The redhead racks her fingers through your hair once more, and hums pleasantly. She appears more relaxed.

"What about you, Cordelia?", she asks the blonde witch after.

"I wish for the same thing, really, but I'd like to discuss the implications of such an agreement with Lilith first," you can feel Zelda's soft breathing, sending you shiver in the nape of your neck. Your hand falls on her thigh, fingertips draw lazy circles over her exposed, smooth skin.

"She is not that bad once you get to know her," she states simply.

You look at her, squinting your eyes a bit. An amused smile tugs at your lips, quickly reciprocated by Cordelia.

"I shouldn't be surprised you met her," Cordelia eyes her curiously.

Zelda's lips curl up in a coy grin, she is sure to have grasped some jealousy in both yours and Cordelia's glances. And how she likes it!

Clearing your throat, you ask, "Have you visited Hell too?", your brows snap up at the possibility.

"I never got the chance, no." she replies calmly, totally unbothered. Maybe some years ago, before her world turned upside down, she would have loved the idea of visiting the realm- hell was a place she had worshipped for so long, both blindly and stupidly, along with its ruler and his ways of wielding power. But now, after everything that had happened, she felt nothing but repulsion, disgust towards it.

"I thought that with Sabrina as queen, you would..." it was meant to be a thought, but you voiced it out loud. Your eyes widen once you realize what you've just said. You bite your tongue and silently curse yourself, "Shit, sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

But she almost laughs at your innocence.

"It's alright, silly," her fingers tenderly pinch your cheek, making you crinkle your nose in return, "When Sabrina became queen of Hell neither me nor Hilda were informed," she scoffs, however, there is a veil of fondness in her tone. "She thought she could keep it a secret, and she was right. For a long time, we didn't know, until it became impossible to hide the truth. Then we learned that Sabrina had made a double of herself to keep living with us here, and rule Hell with her father, but that's beyond the topic," she clenches her jaw, her mind goes to her yard and her eyes immediately visualize the two graves: one guarding Sabrina Morningstar and the other Sabrina Spellman, both her nieces, daughters. She tries hard not to let any tears slip from her eyes, and she eventually succeeds. You nod slowly and lay back against her front, letting her spoon you some more.

"Do witches go to Hell after dying?", the amount of questions Cordelia has is almost funny.

"I don't think so, sweetheart. I mean you don't go to Hell unless you commit sins worth condemning. My Sabrina drove me absolutely crazy with her stubbornness, but I could bet on everything that's dear to me, she isn't in Hell," despite the conviction of her words, her voice still wavered slightly. But you can't really blame her, knowing how much Sabrina meant and means for Zelda. "You're right. I'm sure Sabrina is in a beautiful realm, somewhere we can't even begin to imagine, for all the good she did."

She nods wordlessly, before pressing her lips to the crown of your head. A blush rises to your cheeks, you'll probably never get used to their fondness.

The blonde smiles, watching the tender interaction. A wave of relief washes over her at your words. Then, she scoots closer, cutting the already minimal gap between you three. She leans against your shoulder, her hair falls on your chest and tickle right under your chin, but you don't dare to more. Zelda opens her arm to circle Cordelia's waist too so that she is now spooning the two of you at the same time.

"Sorry if I sounded paranoid and a tad crazy," she mutters apologetically.

You peck her forehead, "Anything that I can't deal with," you mumble teasingly.

Zelda can't help but feel a strange sensation wash over her. Looking at you say that gave her a sense of familiarity she couldn't explain right away.

"You're such a little demon sometimes," the blonde witch lifts her chin, her face now is just an inch from yours. You look deeply into her brown eyes, knowing exactly what er next move was going to be, and you let her.

Her lips only delicately brush against yours, you drag your finger along the line of her jaw, before stopping just under her chin, to have better hold on her. Her hand flattens against your stomach, enhancing you butterflies to fly crazy inside you.

The Supreme's breath hitches when you deepen the kiss. Zelda's nails dig in the flesh of your ribs and that causes you to half moan inside the Supreme's mouth.

"Says who?", you mutter teasingly, turning briefly to meet Zelda's eyes.

Cordelia arches an eyebrow. Her fingers guide you to watch her again, and then, her teeth attack your bottom lip, gently nibbling and sucking it, before letting it go with a wet pop, "Your Supreme, obviously," you stare at her and trying to force a protest out of you, but you're left speechless, your heart pounds rapidly.

And when you try, as your mouth falls agape, making you look like a puffer fish, the blonde witch shushes you with another kiss, causing Zelda to nearly break in a fit of giggles.

"You're a tease," you sweep your tongue over your lips, to grasp her savour.

"And you love it," she voices in a sultry tone, leaving you even more flustered.

Zelda can't help the smirk from rising upon her face, as you stick your tongue out in a childish way.

You continue sharing kisses and cuddles, and the afternoon passes in the most blissful way you three could imagine. You even fell asleep at some point, or so you thought bacause one moment it was daylight and the next there was a comfortable dim light in the room adding to the already wonderful atmosphere.

"What's for dinner?", you find yourself asking, as you stifle back a yawn, "I'm a bit hungry."

Cordelia looks at you and traces her fingertips up and down your thighs.

"How do you feel about frog's legs?" the seriousness in Zelda's tone worries you.

"Ew," wincing you crinkle your nose, "Can't we just order a pizza?", you whine, brows knit in a frown.

"I'm with the little demon on this," the Supreme keeps teasing, earning an eye roll from you and a scoff from the Directrix.

"Fine, let's eat like children then," Zelda mutters, pretending to be annoyed.

"You love pizza, Zee," she smirks in the dark, and says nothing. No, she would hardly give you the satisfaction of being right against her. 

[wind-goddess-eri]

Happy Birthday (Aritaki Itto x Reader)

So trying out a different way of writing smut. Tried not to put in parts and to keep it gen-neutral. So I hope i did ok at that.

Warnings:Indeed smut, arataki itto being a silly until... birthday sex, fluff, sleepy cuddles and giving/receaving. also Itto is well....big and an oni after all lol.

As alway....under the cut.

"Wait, don't you think we should make sure no one is here." You said to the Oni in front of you.

"Trust me. I would know if anyone was here or coming back. Let's have some fun." Itto smiled at you.

It's been a year since you both have been dating. You finally have decided that you are ready to have sexual intimacy with him. Itto, living with his clan,which has a bunch of people in it, You feel like your privacy can be invaded at any moment. But you trust your boyfriend. After all, he is the leader of the clan.

"Alright. I trust you. Come here." You motioned to him to come closer to you.

"Y/N" Itto walked over to you looking down as he bent down to kiss you. "This is going to be the best birthday ever!" He exclaimed.

You smiled and blushed a bit, giggling at how silly he can be at times. "Y/N, get ready for the time of your life. This Oni will deliver you to satisfactory." He takes your hand and leads you to his room. You look around his room and you see candles and rose petals all over the room, red bedding and white sheets. There's no way he did this on his own. Most likely had help from Shinobu.

"Itto, this is beautiful…this is for me?" You said in awe.

"Of course it is, who else would this extraordinarily romantical room be for silly?" Itto says as a matter of fact.

"I love you, you silly Oni." You say as you lean up to kiss him. He swoops you into his arms and kisses you passionately. You moan into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, hands reaching and lightly playing with his hair.

"mmm I love it when you do that, Y/N" Itto says within the kiss. You break the kiss and look into his burning eyes. He sets you down and starts to remove his clothing. You do the same. You have been ready for this. He's been waiting for a year. You walk over to the bed and lay down. It's soft, you weren't expecting him to sleep on such a soft bed. You look over at the Oni and see everything. His naked form was something to be seen. His tattoos led down to his length which was big. You were thinking about how it's going to fit.

Itto walks over to you, crawling up on top of you. "Just relaxed baby, You have nothing to worry about."

"Who said I was worried?" You asked with a shaky breath.

"Your face does." He got you there.

You both laugh a bit then Itto leans down and kisses your lips lightly "you ready?" You nod your head and relax your body. Itto smiles and grabs his member and finds your opening. He tries to push through but it's difficult. He then gets an idea, he reaches under the bed and grabs a lube. He puts so much on to be safe he doesnt hurt you, also it feels good for him.

He tries again, slipping into you slowly. You moan with pleasure as he slowly pushes all of his length inside of you. "fuck, you feel so good." Itto smiles and moans. "You ready?" he then asked. "Yeah." You say breathlessly. The Oni starts moving at a slow gentle pace at first. Your moans start to fill the room. You wanted Itto to kiss you while he makes love to you. You took hold of his horns and lightly pulled his head down to have him kiss you, little did you know that Itto's horns are one of his biggest turn ons. Just the slightest touch will send the Oni out of control. You hear him yelp as he leaned down kissing you roughly.

You watch Itto change into a different beast. His slow rhythm now going a little more harder, rougher. You were loving it. Each moan you made, made Itto go fast, his rock hard body thrusting against you. the slapping noise his hips made hitting your body made you close to climax. "I-I-Itto, I'm go-gonna…OH Arcons! I'm gonna cum Itto!"

"Cum for me." Itto said over and over as he pounded into you. You couldn't last a single second more and came hard around the Oni. Itto took his length slowly out of you. That when you realized while slamming into you he has grown twice the size he was before. "I want more darling, can we keep going?" Itto asked. How is he still wanting to go? You looked at him with tired eyes. "I want you in my mouth." You wanted him to cum as well but seeing how he's not anywhere near done, you got your work cut out. Itto got excited at the thought of your mouth on him, so you can taste not only yourself but him.

You went to sit up when Itto stopped you. "You stay there. I'll go to you." He crawls over you from where he was until his dick met your face. "There." He said with a smile. You shrugged and grabbed his length, stoking it a little before licking it and putting it in your mouth. You moan as you taste him. "F-Fu--Y/N That feels…mmmmm" Itto moans. You sucked on his long cock for a while until you felt the warm climax that Itto didn’t let you know that he was close. You felt his member pulsate in your mouth as you took his whole load and swallowed it. It actually didn’t taste half bad considering the others you’ve been with.

You took the Oni’s member out of your mouth which made a pop sound. Made Itto smile. “Okay, your turn. He scoots down to where your area is and gives you a lick. You’re overstimulated from earlier. You moan and start to shift underneath the Oni. Itto smiles as he continues to eat you out. Your hands travel down to his hair where you make a mess of. Itto’s horns rubbing against your body, stimulating the both of you even more. You were close once again. “Itto…Please…I-I’m gonna…” At that moment you scream his name, closing your eyes tight and pulling on his hair. “Mmmmmmm gggggrrrr You taste soooo good Y/N!” He growls as he continues. You can’t even make out words anymore, just sounds. Itto lets up on his assault on your parts. You look down at him and smile exhaustedly. “That was amazing. Thank you…for being the best boyfriend…I ever had.” You told Itto in a whisper. You were done, your body couldn’t move you were so tired. Itto, still willing to go for a few more rounds, sees you are about to pass out and decides to lay next to you. “You’re the best person I’ve ever been with, you know that right?” Itto questions. You can’t help but smile and nod. He pulls you close and holds you. Rubbing your back slowly until you eventually fell asleep. “Happy Birthday, Y/N He whispers and he himself fell asleep.

[blackjackkent]

By far the most annoying thing about the battle with the Avatar of Myrkul is this motherfucker:

Fundamentally what this means is that anyone near the big boy cannot get healed, which is a problem given that Rakha has the constitution, robustness, and mental stability of a single sheet of tissue paper.

Nevertheless we persist.

MVP status for this fight goes to Lae'zel, who landed a disarming attack on the first strike of the battle and knocked Myrkul's giant-ass scythe out of its hands, then action surged four attacks on it and dazed it with a pommel strike.

Aylin continues to eat shit repeatedly every time I do this fight, which I continue to blame on her having been a century out of practice, bc she always does a lot better in Act 3. :P

In the end, Rakha gets the final blow with a barrage of magic missiles that smash in the avatar's skull mask and send a shower of bone splinters raining down around them.

-----

The monstrous form fades. Ketheric collapses at Rakha's feet, a man again, mortal. His blood soaks him from head to foot, drips out in gory spatters on the rock.

The beast screams with glee in Rakha's head, watching him die. You mocked me, but you die like all the others, whimpering, pitiful. Who is the mad dog now?

"Impossible," he wheezes. "Death cannot take me... I am its master..."

He struggles to his knees, his eyes lifting again towards the cavern's ceiling. "My Lord! Hear me!"

Silence, but for the low slap of water against the rock around them. His shoulders slump. Blood drops through his beard, along the ridges of his armor.

"Nothing..." he whispers. "I am forsaken."

She steps forward, grips the front of his armor, gives a short, sharp jerk. "Answer me before you die, Chosen of Myrkul," she growls. "Tell me what I need to know. Who am I?"(*)

His eyes drift out of focus past her shoulder. "You... have no idea what you've done..." he whispers weakly.

"WHO AM I?!" she bellows, releasing him with a jerk. He nearly topples over, all the strength gone from his body. Light begins to pour from his eyes, his mouth.

"Isobel..." he whispers, and she watches and feels the deep shuddering pleasure of the beast as the life flows out of his body.

His corpse collapses in a heap at her feet.

Silence.

Rakha's head aches. She stares down at Ketheric's body. This has been her only goal for so long, almost since the crash, almost as long as she can remember, and now it is finished. She feels empty, drained - she waits for the feeling of fulfillment and it doesn't come.

What do I do now?

Before she can muster the energy to speak, a pale white glow streaks down from above them, an avenging angel homing in on the broken body before them.

"THE VILLAIN IS DEAD!"

The Nightsong. Aylin. She slams her boot into Ketheric's head and Rakha watches as his skull explodes, brain matter spattering in all directions, coated in black, corrupted blood.

"THE WRETCH!" she howls. "TOGETHER WE HAVE CRUSHED HIM, BODY AND BRAIN!"

Rakha watches, fascinated. Aylin's eyes are alight with her goddess's magic. Her movements are jerky and frantic, desperate. She pounds her boot again and again into Ketheric's head, flattening it into the ground, into a pile of shapeless meat.

She is just as majestic in this moment as she was in her flight out of the Shadowfell - but Rakha sees beneath that facade of light. Underneath is a river of rage, the fury of the prisoner released after a century of torment. Vengeance. Animal destruction.

This is what Rakha looks like when the beast overtakes her, reflected in the form of this creature of ostensible good. It is surreal to see it in another.

Eventually Aylin calms. Her eyes lift; the light has faded from them. Rakha recognizes that look on her face, too - the weary acknowledgement of her own violence, its mindlessness, its ultimate pointlessness.

"Now," the aasimar says softly. "Now we pick our way toward our fates... unleashed."

Rakha doesn't answer. What is my fate? she thinks bitterly. A lost animal, doomed to stagger forward forever, hoping only to sink her teeth into the 'right' prey.

To her astonishment, Aylin straightens and inclines her head with a sudden air of respect. "You have my sword - my fealty."

Fealty. Rakha blinks, bewildered. Why?

She draws a slow breath and lets it out. Because there is more ahead. Ketheric is dead, but the Absolutists still live. The tadpole still sits in her head. Her vengeance isn't complete.

And she realizes she is afraid. She is beginning to learn that there is nothing good for her in the memories that are lost to her - and also that following the trail of the cult will only lead her to more glimpses of whatever dark path she once walked. She will have no rest from the beast, from the war inside her head, because the path that lies ahead will be as soaked in blood as the path behind.

But the cult marches on the city. Rakha has never seen it - but Wyll has. It was his city, once. His father is still in the Absolute's clutches. She has to keep going - for Wyll, if not for herself.

She swallows. She doesn't feel able to speak. But she meets Aylin's eyes and she nods.

Aylin returns the nod, sober and serious as the grave. Perhaps she understands something of the turmoil that boils in Rakha's head, just as Rakha understood the rage that burns in hers. "Do what you must," she says softly. "Then we fly this foul place."

[littlemisstfc]

So...No LAYERS For The Decepticons: How RID 2015 Fails At Critiquing The Prison Complex

Welcome back to this side of the Hundred Acre Woods. It’s been 84 years since I have written a blog post here, so forgive my absence. 😭 By the way, I will be at TFCon LA 2024 on both March 9th and March 10th. Feel free to say hi to me, I cannot wait to meet more of you there as well as meeting more voice actors and artists. Anyways, let’s get onto today’s topic. So…RID 2015, my dear friend. 

After making that compilation of the purple icon and the moment Fracture, I began to have thoughts about RID 2015. I will be coming out with a video retrospective that will hopefully come out later this year. My collaborator is dealing with a personal matter at the moment, so I’m respecting their space. Think of this as a preview to what we have here. I thought about doing a video, but I feel like my strongest strength has always been writing. 

RID 2015 is an interesting show in the sense that it has so much to say, yet never got the chance to fully explore what it wants to say. If you know me by now, you know that I am one of the most hardcore RID defenders in existence akskskskdjdkd. Let me make it clear: it’s a show that exists. However…it is MY show that exists. Like, compared to the very worst of the worst that Transformers has to offer, this show doesn’t even scratch at the surface. It’s a mid show that manages to keep me entertained and engaged at least. However, at the same time, its flaws are genuinely that egregious, and as much as the writers tried, I feel like they’re held back from fully exploring its potential. Like I said, I will go into the gritty nitty detail at a later day, so at the moment, let’s go discuss what’s perhaps the main issue I have with RID 2015…it fails at critiquing the prison complex.

The Prison Complex...BUT WITH FURRIES.

In case you don’t know what RID 2015 is about, let me summarize it really quickly. RID 2015 takes place three years later after Transformers Prime ended, and it focuses on Bumblebee now. After getting a sign from Optimus’s spirit to return to Earth, he does so, along with a cadet named Strongarm and a delinquent named Sideswipe accidentally joining him. Eventually, they all ended up at Crown City and they found out a Decepticon prison ship, the Alchemor, crash landed near here, courtesy of the caretaker Fixit. Then, after taking care of one escaped Decepticon, they were then joined by Grimlock and two humans named Russell and Denny. So, the entire series is focused on Bee and his team capturing the escaped Decepticon prisoners, while also having to deal with the shady behind the scenes of the Cybertronian government.

Now that we got the main premise out of the way, on the surface, it seems like it’s a harmless monster of the week type show. For most of the time, it’s just Bee and his team capturing Decepticons, who are also animals in this version. Okay, Beast Wars aksksksks. It seems like there’s not much issue. However…when you really think about the circumstances of these Decepticons, not to mention how oddly it portrays the police force in a mostly positive light (and I say that loosely), the show did not age in retrospect. It does not do a great job at critiquing what’s wrong with the prison industry.

Now that I brought it up, you may be asking why I did so. It’s important to bring it up, because it ties into how this show tackles the Decepticons and the Cybertronian police state. In a nutshell, the prison complex refers to the relationship between the prison system and various businesses, specifically how they benefit from incarceration being the end-all solution in tackling society’s problems. It relies heavily on the surveillance and policing of the population in order to make the quickest profit that really only serves as a bandaid to the elephant in the room. In case you want to learn more about the prison complex, I highly recommend doing your research by looking up sources, especially from those who work in prison reform.

Back to RID 2015, the show makes it seem like the Decepticons should be treated as menaces to society because the government says so. Now, let me make it clear: I am in no way justifying what these characters did. I mean, there are legit serial killers and legitimate dangers to society in there akksksksksa. It’s called nuance, folks. However, at the same time…these people should be getting help for their issues and/or get rehabilitation instead of being treated as animals (no pun intended). You look at characters like Springload and Filch, who are individuals that show severe signs of mental illness that heavily impact how they navigate the world. Then, you have Decepticons who only really committed minor offenses like Bisk. Now, I’m not saying that they’re justified in doing those crimes. I’m saying that the consequences should fit the crime, yet for some reason, the show likes to say that brutal incarceration is the answer. In the world of the Aligned Continuity post Prime, you get labeled a Decepticon for your crimes and you;re packed off to jail until you die or something. 

Then, we have the head bitch in charge himself, Steeljaw. Now, I’m saving my thoughts on his character and how he wouldn’t go away at a later date, so for now…Steeljaw may be a character that the show stubbornly refuses to let go, but I’m sorry, he brought up good points about the way things are runned. He is basically TFA Megatron if he was a furry aksksksks. While his intentions are ultimately a power grab and the way he treats his pack isn’t justified, at the same time, you do see where he’s coming from. The show portrays the premise in a very strict black and white sense, in which the Decepticons are all evil and the Autobots are justified in throwing all them into prison. Now, we do learn about the actual truth behind the Council and Strongarm is a genuinely good person, but still, the show is so committed to the anti Decepticon status quo that it makes the premise much worse. It lacks the nuance that Animated and Cyberverse to an extent had in portraying the two sides, so it’s insensitive at best and actually quite harmful at worst. 

So…you may be wondering, “wait, but what about Grimlock and Drift?” That’s where they both come into the discussion. To me, those two represent the nuance that the show desperately wanted to convey, but isn’t allowed to explore. They’re both reformed Decepticons who showed that they are not defined by their past, and they put in the work to change. Hell, there was even an entire ass episode dedicated to the team realizing that Grimlock did change for the better. In Drift’s case, when he was confronted by a figure from his past, he made it clear that he also changed for the better. So, if the show was willing to offer both Grimlock and Drift second chances, then why can’t it offer the same grace to the Alchemor prisoners?

This then leads to the character of Scowl, whom I honestly believe that he is capable of having a genuine heel face turn if the show GAVE HIM A FUCKING CHANCE. The instant chemistry he had with Grimlock reveals that he seems to be a cool guy. I think that once he’s taught to learn right from wrong and is given a support system, he can be redeemed. Yet frustratingly, the show goes, “nah bro, he’s 100% evil underneath his bro bro act.” It’s kind of hypocritical that it allows Grimlock to reform, but it puts Scowl and a majority of the Decepticons into a black and white box. They’re not allowed to be their own characters in the first place, so they received the short end of the stick even more. Just…UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Show, why do you test my patience sometimes? When I tweeted about this thought I had after I made the Fracture compilation, someone summarized it best right here:

"Legitimately, if RID15 wasn't aimed at kids, it would be a really nuanced show and likely would get recognized as better than Prime."

Kids are fucking smarter than we give them credit for. I was six years old when I watched Animated, and I noticed the deeper aspects of the show. I just didn’t have the words to articulate it until I became an adult. If RID 2015 was given the time and care it needs to explore this concept to its fullest potential, it would perhaps be the best well thought out show in the Aligned Continuity. I may get canceled for this, but it’s the LAYERS that Prime wants. However, because the higher ups wanted a toyetic approach and thought the kids are too dumb to pick up on LAYERS and nuance, we got this, and it honestly saddens me it turned out this way.

Conclusion: Even the most mid Transformers show deserves LAYERS.

Being a RID 2015 stan is the toughest battle God gives to his silliest little guys akskskskks. I criticize this show because I truly believe it deserves BETTER than what it was given to work with. You may look at me like I’m crazy for thinking about this way more than what a normal person would do…but I ain’t normal, lads. 

I'm saving my full thoughts for the retrospective like I said, but right now, the show has a lot to say, but it was sadly silenced. I honestly think it would've been one of those Transformers shows people will fondly look back on had it been given more time in the oven. This is why I appreciate fanfiction and fanon existing because they explore the LAYERS the show has underneath the silly vibes. I would do anything for this show to receive a comic book continuiation or a spinoff that explores its full potential.

Anyways, Pingu.

[loominggaia]

¿Cómo fue la noche de bodas de los padres de los fgg? (O la primera vez (sexo) de los padres de los fgg con su respectiva pareja)

P.d:ya que el padre es un misterio, skel no cuenta

(Translated via Google Translate)

"How was the fgg parents' wedding night? (Or the first time (sex) of the parents of the fgg with their respective partner) P.s: since the father is a mystery, skel does not count"

--

That's kind of funny to think about! I think each answer could say a lot about their respective cultures, and even more about who they are as people.

There's nothing especially graphic ahead, but I'll put the following text below a cut just in case.

Foster and Sofia probably waited until their wedding night to do anything sexual because they're both Lindists. According to Lindist scripture, it's immoral to have sex before marriage because it "invites bad spirits" and "spoils the body". (In reality, the House of Humanity imposed this rule because Evangelite medical technology sucks, this kingdom is not well-equipped to deal with disease, and monogamous, committed intercourse is less likely to spread diseases.)

Since neither of them had prior experience, I'm sure it was awkward and unpleasant, especially for Sofia. Pleasure is not prioritized for Evangelite women because in their culture, women are seen as beasts of burden, baby-factories, and servants to men. Evangelite women are not supposed to enjoy sex because it's seen as improper, not ladylike behavior. So, sex with Foster was probably pretty awful and I doubt it got much better with time.

Moswen and Ekwame: Moswen was forced to marry Ekwame when she was 16, and she gave birth to her sons at 17. I think we can safely assume that she conceived those children on her wedding night, which is really upsetting considering Ekwame was 40 years older than her. As cruel and hateable as she is, I can't help but feel sympathy for her here, because this had to be a traumatic experience for her no matter how you slice it. She should have been in school with her peers, but instead she was getting railed by some nasty old man and forced into motherhood when she was still a kid herself. I don't want to dwell on this one, I'm sure you can imagine how scary this was for teenage Moswen. And knowing what a selfish, apathetic ass Ekwame was, I'm sure he didn't really care how she felt about anything. Both of them just went through the motions like they were told to, to fulfill political obligations.

Oggsa and Vingevar: We don't know much about Vingevar, so it's tough to say what happened here. But we do know what a tough, domineering personality Oggsa is, so you can bet one thing...she was always on top.

Rene and Sebastian: They were at it long before they got married, and I doubt they even remember their first time because they were both completely wasted. Despite their dysfunction, I think these two did genuinely love eachother, and it must have been a sweet moment for them both. Perhaps they were getting it on in a dirty public bathroom or next to a stinking swamp...but the love was still there!

Ojio and Tarajeen: Sex before marriage is taboo in Damijana, and considering all the agents spying on them, these two wouldn't have risked it. I think both of them were virgins before they married, and their first several times was the most awkward sex ever. Sex education is bad in Damijana--and I mean baaaaad! They don't teach their people anything useful about intercourse because the censorship laws are so over-the-top. Porn and nudity is outright banned, even if it's tasteful. This leaves grown-ass adult citizens very confused about sex and how it actually works. They just clumsily fumble their way through it until offspring happens (and oftentimes, doesn't happen! Damijani fertility rates are low for a reason...People literally forgot how to reproduce here...)

Ojio and Tarajeen knew they were supposed to undress and climb into bed together. After that...??? Something about tab A into slot B??? But they don't realize Ojio is supposed to be erect when it happens, nor do they realize they're supposed to gyrate around until climax. So they just kinda put it in for a while, take it out and then go to sleep. Several confounding trips to the clinic later, they finally discover why they haven't concieved a child...the sex got a lot better after that, but boy did they feel silly. And then Jeimos was born, and they never had time for sex again. :') Ah, parenthood under capitalism.

Darshaan and Karenza: I think they hooked up well before marriage, probably during their journey across the desert as they fled from Alqamah. I can imagine them taking cover in a cave after dark and getting extra cozy in the tiny space. It's a loving encounter and they are sweet and gentle with eachother...then right before climax, Darshaan notices a scorpion on the wall right in front of his face. He screams like a little girl, wraps his arms around Karenza and rolls them out of the cave like a sweaty, naked tumbleweed. They both get sand lodged in unfortunate places. Karenza never lets him forget that moment as for long as they were together.

Riona and Nemeto: Supposedly Nemeto sailed to Umory-Ond in search of old ships to repair and sell, where he met Riona and fell in love with her. Riona chose to sail away with him back to Matuzu Kingdom. I like to think she jumped his bones right there on the boat!

I'll skip Balthazaar and Skel's parents because we just don't have enough information about them. Same for Adel and Zeffer's mother. I'll skip Olandrah too, because her first time was unfortunately very disturbing and not fun to read about. No point in talking about the Tekeetian King and Queen either, because they were cecaelia and had no concept of sex.

I think Eindrid and Jorun waited until marriage as is customary for their culture. But as we learned in "The Stash", the people of Loreham have an unusual practice where the bride and groom get it on for the first time in front of the whole tribe! They do this because centaurs are big, cumbersome creatures who can actually injure eachother pretty bad during sex if they're not careful. Having the tribe there to cheer and backseat them during their first time is probably annoying as hell, but it prevents tragedies and gives the couple confidence. It also ensures that a child is conceived properly, provides witnesses to the consummation, and guarantees the celebration ends with a bang...pun intended.

Anyway, Jorun is Elska's mother, so you know she ended up mangling someone or something by the end of it. I'm just saying, Eindrid always had a little extra bend in his ween from that day forward...

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[shadowqueen402]

OK. I just had a Fic request, and stay with me on this.

Pomni ends up becoming a Negaboss somehow, but Caine thinks it's abstraction, so the others have to help her before she's put in the cellar

Ooh! That would be interesting! Anyways, here you go!

If there's one golden rule that everyone should always remember when it comes to being put in stressful situations, it's to never panic. No matter what happens, one must remain calm always.

Unfortunately for Pomni, that was easier said than done. Since she arrived into this "Wonderworld" place, she was just as terrified as she was when she first entered the Digital World.

Plus, it didn't help that Balan had an energetic nature despite meaning well. Whenever he popped up, this would cause Pomni to jump.

Now, to make matters worse, Pomni found herself in a rather strange place. One where everything around her was rather dark and gloomy. "Hello!?" Pomni called out, fear wavering in her voice.

There wasn't even a reply back. Pomni felt her knees wobble. Before she knew it, she was hyperventilating from the sight of the darkness.

And then, she started to change.

"Hey, have any of you guys seen Pomni?" Ragatha asked the two maestros and her friends.

"Eh, she must have had one of her episodes somewhere else," Jax guessed, shrugging his shoulders. He still had the laid back grin on his face.

"I'm sure that Pomni will come around, Ragatha," Gangle said. "Maybe she's still trying to get used to Wonderworld."

Before Lance could say anything, a loud roar grabbed everyone's attention. "That definitely does not sound like Pomni," Zooble said, having a concerned look while her arms were crossed.

"What if Pomni's in trouble?" Gangle asked. But by doing so, Kinger yelped in shock.

"Oh, you startled me, Gangle," Kinger said. "Now what were we talking about again?"

Suddenly, a Nega boss that neither Balan nor Lance had seen before appeared in front of the group.

"Oh my!" Caine said. "Pomni's been abstracted! She has to go into the cellar!"

But Balan stopped Caine. "My newest friend, this isn't an "abstraction" as you once said. Rather, this is the result of what happens when Visitors let too much negativity into their hearts and heads."

"Wait, are you saying that this large creature is Pomni!?" Ragatha exclaimed, backing away. Jax, Gangle, Kinger, and Zooble looked up at the Nega boss in shock.

"It used to be Pomni, to be exact," Lance said. "When a Visitor gets corrupted, they turn into these beasts which is a sad yet true fact."

"Please tell me there is a way that we can save her," Zooble said.

"Fortunately for you, there is a way," Balan explained. "But it will require you all to fight, I must say."

"Remind me how we can save Pomni before Caine puts her in the cellar," Jax asked.

"Glad you asked, my friend." Balan grinned. "Things may be scary, but it's far from the end." He then snapped his fingers, causing Jax, Gangle, Ragatha, Zooble, and Kinger to be in costumes.

"You really think that this is going to help us save Pomni?" Ragatha asked.

"These costumes are more than just a disguise," Lance explained. "Test it out on the Nega boss and see its ability before your very eyes."

"You know the drill, guys," Zooble said. "Let's go save Pomni. Wherever she is."

"She's most likely in my stage on her own," Lance said. "Follow me, you won't be doing this alone."

Everyone nodded.

They hoped that they could save Pomni before Caine puts her in the cellar.

[kyouka-supremacy]

TGP BSD AU DETAILS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED TO BE FED. WAIT. DOES THAT MAKE ATSUSHI CHIDI??????? IM GOING FERAL PLEASE WHAT HAVE YLU DONE

Omg here we go

Akutagawa as Eleanor. Obvs. That Beast flavor of protagonist vibes. Unapologetical Yokohama scumbag. Used to work for the Yakuza before he died.

Atsushi as Chidi. Used to be a literature university professor. He's perfect fit to fill Chidi's anxious shoes.

This time most of the comic relief is born from having a literal mobster, for whom homicide has always been the first solution to problems, being dropped in paradise, where everyone is already dead so he can't kill. Ft. the very very stressed Atsushi, nothing more than an academic nerd who's trying /so hard/ to stop him from breaking havoc.

“Do all soulmates come with complimentary haircuts or?”

A looooot of initial conflict and Akutagawa and Atsushi fighting, even more than cheleanor, you can guess it. Yet Atsushi does never step back from offering his help to Akutagawa.

Akutagawa who struggles to even ASK for help. Atsushi is 100% done and spends half the time saying “why am I even doing this” and yet he does keep doing this.

Atsushi teaching Akutagawa to be a better person through literature more than philosophy. Them reading books together and learning that there's beauty in the concept of all humans being inherently connected through time and space by feeling the same things (cue to “we're all in this together”).

*Minor inconvenience occurs* “I say we kill them” “No, I– what?? We– you do realize we're in the afterlife, right? You do realize you can't kill people here, right?”

Please imagine Atsushi as a classical literature professor with glasses and turtlenecks and a stack of books always in his hands it's very important to me

“You know what, for someone who barely knew how to read when we first met, you speak with a surprisingly elaborate vocabulary”

Where Eleanor's struggle is constantly being triggered by people being better than her, for Akutagawa it comes more in the form of being constantly reminded that he was never good enough

When it comes to Atsushi... It's a mess. For the most part of the story, you'd see him and think he's nothing but a professor. Yet gradually, slowly, start to appear hints that something is off with him. In reality, he's absolutely tormented, he's just used to not make it transpire. Differently from Chidi, he does, very early on, start questioning if he belongs there in the Good Place– but tries again and again to convince himself that he does belong there, that he's good. That's all he's ever tried to be, that's all he's ever done, why wouldn't he? And yet it constantly feels like he's just lying to himself, but he does want to lie, he wants to believe he's good. He's tried so hard all his life to be good– and now his struggles are paying off! They are, right? So it doesn't matter if he killed that man when he was a child. He's a good person. He's spent his whole life trying to make amends for it. He's good he's good he's good (grows increasingly insane)

Aka, Atsushi killed Shibusawa when he was little. The orphanage director covered it up and nobody came to know, but the truth haunted Atsushi his whole life, and now keeps haunting him in the afterlife too, because deep down he knows he doesn't belong. Aka Atsushi going through the horrors™ once again.

So Atsushi's helping Akutagawa isn't, at least initially, moved by altruism like Chidi's (Atsushi is a pretty selfish character...), but by his desperate need to prove he's good + a sort of auto-inflicted punishment. He's fucked up...

On the hand of Akutagawa's backstory– you know when Eleanor's background is revealed, and you're like “that doesn't justify her being a shitty person, but at least I understand now?”; for Akutagawa it would be revealing he joined the Yakuza in the first place to provide for his little sister. I can see him revealing it to Atsushi after having spent a long long time together and having eventually warmed up to each other (and having fallen in love), on a particularly vulnerable night: Akutagawa tells him that although there's nothing from his life of hell on earth he could ever miss, he worries about how his little sister is doing without him; to Atsushi's genuine astonishment, because in months of knowing each other Akutagawa had never brought up having a sister.

Akutagawa's character core is once again finding the reason to his existence– or better, finding the answer. (That's taking from Chidi's character this time)

“You know the reason yourself, don't you” would be Akutagawa's “There is no answer // but Atsushi is the answer”. This au basically writes itself

Dazai as Michael... You know why

Further sskk tgp au ramblings (1) (2)

[dark-frosted-heart]

3rd Anniversary Event - A Beast’s Dream Fulfilled by Beauty - Sariel

Main route

With how busy Sariel is as chief bureaucrat, it's hard to get some alone time with him even on his day off, but Emma has a plan. Emma invites Sariel to her house, the perfect place to hide him. Sariel comments on the stuff in her room and when Emma sees him looking at something on her desk, she breaks out in cold sweat. It's something she forgot to hide. She runs over and hides it from Sariel's view. Well now he wants to see it even more [me: deja vu]. Emma tries to change the subject but Sariel stops her from talking. He tells her that he wants to know every little thing about her because he loves her so much and offers to exchange a secret of his own. Unfortunately for her, Sariel's a meanie so he reveals his secret before waiting for her response. He admits to watching her adorable sleeping face for a while before going to sleep himself. Now it's Emma's turn to reveal her secret.

She holds out an used sketchbook filled with drawings and writing from her childhood. Sariel takes the book and flips through the pages. He can't help but smile at the drawings and can tell that even as a child, she was very kind-hearted. The amount of people drawn shows how loved she is. Sariel then stops on one particular page. It's a drawing of Akatsuki holding a book, along with the words "I want to be a bookstore owner" clumsily written on the page. Back when Emma was little, Akatsuki didn't have a shop then and would sell his books at a stall in the market.

Emma too wanted to sell books, but now she's happy being Sariel's apprentice. She then casually asks Sariel what his childhood dream was, but he looks down with a pained smile. He didn't have one. He was too busy trying to survive each day to think about a possible future. But to be able to have one sounds nice.

Emma asks if he has any dreams now. He does. Hugging her around the waist and resting his forehead against hers, Sariel tells Emma that he wishes they could just be like this, touch her like this, every day. Emma says that it's not a dream if it's already come true. Perhaps Sariel answered this way to ease the tension, but it's not something Emma can let go. She wants to go find his dream together. Sariel agrees to the idea; Emma will be his instructor for the day.

The two head into town and Emma takes a moment to think.

Sariel: What should we do first, instructor? Emma: Please don't call me that! Sariel: Then how about master? Emma: You're enjoying this, aren't you Sariel... Sariel: Of course. It's a day off so it'd be regrettable not to enjoy it.

Emma takes note on how he's always in a good mood when spending his day off with her. Back to the matter at hand, Emma informs him of how dreams come to be. Usually from interests, but she hasn't seen him be interested in anything other than work. Sariel asks if he's not been clear with his interest toward her. No, he has. Very much so. Moving on...They're going to find other interests for him besides work and her. Emma looks at a flyer on a bulletin board advertising a play. It's titled "Love-Hate Comedy ~ A Single Rose's Magnificent Counterattack Against the Devil ~". Sounds like...adult content...

~~~

Emma's speechless. It truly was an adult performance that left her red. Sariel teases her about her reaction a bit but then says that they're going to need to draft an amendment to the art regulation bill relating to content warnings and age restrictions. Whoops, they ended up circling back to work. Emma's embarrassment is stirring something in him though. Sariel did enjoy the play, but he doesn't think a dream will be formed related to it. On to the next thing.

The couple go to see a fortune teller who's getting some bad vibes from them. Sariel notes that her crystal has a Pegasus engraved on it, the crest of the Tanzanite's living god. Tanzanite fortune tellers perform divination under the divine protection of the living god.

The fortune teller tells the two that they will be facing some trials because of their love for each other. Sariel thanks her for the warning, not believing her at all, and tosses a coin to her. He then leads Emma out of the alley. Sariel mentions that he can do fortune telling too since he's the devil. Taking a look at her palm, he tells her that good fortune will come to her unexpectedly. And then kisses her hand.

Soon the sun starts to set, yet they haven't found something for Sariel. They've tried out everything in town, but Sariel had no interest in any of them. Emma's at a lost and Sariel asks if she's run out of ideas. She hasn't given up yet. As her eyes dart around town, she hears Sariel let out a laugh. He admits that he was being a little mean to her today. He did, in fact, find his dream.

Ending

[pearlsinmyhair]

༄ breath of venus ༄

interlude - sins of the father

word count: 1.6k

warnings: mentions of hunting, venus kills a yerik. she has some pretty harsh thoughts about herself regarding her identity as both jake’s and quaritch’s daughter.

a.n.: TARSEM IS HERE! we love tarsem on this blog. he’s one of my fav background characters, and he will make a reappearance much later on. this is a small breather between chapters, a flashback chapter if you will. so sit back, relax, and i hope you enjoy. no quote for this chapter (sad, i know).

glossary:

‘eylan: friend

hi’i tsmuke: little sister

yerik: game animal that the Omatikaya hunt. it’s the llama lipped creature from the first movie that jake hunts.

sa’nok: mother

iknimaya: a ceremony where a young na’vi tames and rides a banshee.

taronyu: hunter

next

when she learned the identity of her father , it was an accident.

“Tarsem, please. I want to go. Dad’s given me permission to use my bow, but no one takes me anywhere.” she whined, struggling to keep pace with the group. They were made up of young men of their late teens and early twenties, and she was only half their height at eleven.

“You’ll hold us back, kid. You’re too slow, and too loud. Perhaps when you are older.” said Cantù. Venus glared at him before turning her attention back to Tarsem.

“Obviously you have never hunted with Venus before, ‘eylan. That, or you do not know her well.” Tarsem countered. He reached down and ruffled her hair, being careful to avoid her kuru. He always had an appreciation for her kind and sincere nature, no matter how eager she could get. “She will come with us. Bring your bow, hi’i tsmuke.”

She gave him a wide grin before running off to do as he told her. When she returned, they headed into the forest.

A few hours later, she was home.

They had caught their prey earlier than anticipated, and Tarsem had allowed her to fire the lethal shot instead of the other hunters.

“Let her prove herself, if she wishes to do so” he had said to one of the hunters who disapproved.

“She can try” Ta’nui said, laughing softly with his friends as he lowered the arrow.

Venus raised her tiny arrow in spite of the snickers, taking careful aim at the yerik. She took in a breath and let go as she exhaled.

The arrow flew straight into the animals eye, striking it through so it peaked through the other side of its skull.

The group was silent as she ran to the beast, now slumped on the ground, and prayed over it before slicing her knife into its heart.

It was her first kill.

Needless to say, she bounded through the camp to her tent, eager to tell her parents of her first victory as a true omatikayan warrior.

“Jake, we cannot tell her. She will be devastated.” came her mothers voice through the tent wall. She stopped and went around to the back, pressing her ear to the fabric.

“Venus has the right to know.”

So this was about her. What did she not know?

‘What if she runs. She has always been flighty, and she will be unwilling to stand it. She is too young, Ma’Jake.’

Venus did not think she was too young for anything. After all, she still had yerik blood on her knife.

She rolled her eyes at her mothers answer. She was always so worried about Venus running off. She always came back, she assured her sa’nok constantly. But it didn’t matter.

She was pulling the flap of the tent aside to ask ‘what do i need to know?’ when Jake revealed it.

“The longer we wait to tell her Quaritch is her father, the worse her reaction will be.”

Venus dropped her knife.

Both parents startled and turned just in time to see Venus’s tail disappear.

They called for her to stop, to wait, to listen. But she wasn’t hearing them. Blood roared in her ears as she ran to the lab to search the files that Grace had left for her.

Memories and questions flashed in her mind as quick as her feet.

Is this why mother doesn’t look at me sometimes? Does she see the man who killed grandfather? Who killed Seze? I am the offspring of a monster. It is not true. It cannot be true.

She burst through the doors of the lab, not bothering to grab a breathing regulator. Norm, startled, looked at her with worried eyes.

“Venus, what the…” he must have noticed her wild eyes, how her breath was ragged, how her chest heaved with stress.

“I need to see the locked file.”

Norm’s concerned expression hardened into solid authority at her words. Despite being in his human body, he had managed to figure out how to use body language against the Sully children.

“Absolutely not, kid. Not until your parents give permission.” She snarled. He jumped at that, flinching slightly before regaining his composure. “Hissing isn’t going to get you anywhere, Venus. It’s locked.”

She didn’t have time for this. She reached behind him into a drawer, grabbing a peice of crumbled paper tapped to the roof of the metal. She had known it was there for months, but she had been patient.

But now, she could practically feel the steps of her parents as they deduced where she was. She avoided Norm’s grasping hands and ducked into the secondary lab, shutting and bolting the door behind her.

Silence greeted her ears. Her chest felt a little tight as she walked forward to the computer beside Grace Augustine’s avatar body. She pressed a hand to the glass as she unfolded the paper and punched in Norm’s confidential password.

She found the file easily, the pounding of the scientist’s fists against the sealed door forming a mantra of ‘hurry up, hurry up, hurry up’ in her mind.

The video opened as she typed in the password to the entry page that loaded up when she clicked the link.

‘Br3ath0£>Enu$’

Grace Augustine sat at the desk before the camera, leaning to the side and speaking firmly.

“You have to hold her gently, Wainfleet, or she’ll squirm out and of your arms and onto the floor.”

“I’m trying my best, Doc, but she’s like a goddamn blue worm.”

The marine came into view, sliding comically on a rolling chair behind Augustine. A small blue hand the size of his nose reached up and patted his bald head.

“Every time, kid? You gotta pat it every time?”

Venus chuckled, even as her gut churned with anxiety and terror.

Augustine turned to look at the monitor, staring into her eyes.

“Hello, Venus. I know you have questions, and i’m here to answer them.”

Wainfleet stood up with baby Venus and walked out of the room.

“Your parents…do not know you are here. Alive, I mean. They decided that it was better that you not grow up in this dreary mess of hell that we call home, so they had you removed before you were even you. Some scientists decided to play god and make you anyway. But i’m sure you know about that part. What this log is about it who your parents are.”

Venus held her breathe, hoping, praying for her to say a nobody, some random man and woman who just happened to become pregnant.

Grace grimaced with her.

“Your mothers name is Paz Socorro. She’s a funny woman and a pilot. She’s got a ferocious little heart. And your father…”

Please, Eywa, have mercy.

“is Colonel Miles Quaritch.”

She hit the power button to the computer and slumped to the floor.

This couldn’t be happening.

He couldn’t be her father.

The man that every Omatikaya child knew. The monster than haunted their bedtime stories. The demon that her mother had killed with two arrows.

Was the man that made her.

It was at that moment that she began to truly regret not grabbing a breathing regulator. She was panicking, her heart rate fast as she ran through each and every memory.

Her mother looking at her quizzically one night. The way that her parents glanced at each other when Lo’ak and Neteyam made jokes about her unknown parents. The way that Jake’s eyes sometimes narrowed at her when her face contorted in anger.

“Baby Girl, i need you to open the door.”

Came the soft voice of her father from the other room. She chocked on a sob as her brain stuttered.

Toruk Makto is not my father. I’m not worthy of that.

She wheezed, and she heard a soft knock.

“Please, baby, you gotta let us in.”

She crawled to the door, thinking she would topple if she stood.

She slid the bolt to the unlocked position.

And there they were, her parents. They looked down at her with worried eyes, trying to gage what she knew.

She swallowed, debating what to say.

She settled for “Do I look like him?”

They descended on her with every ounce of love they could give, pressing her between their bodies as she sobbed. Neytiri pressed a regulator to her nose and she inhaled, chocking through tears.

They pressed kisses to her face and hands, whispering “it’s alright”, “let it out”, “just breathe”.

When her sobs ceased and her tears dried up, she nuzzled into her fathers chest as they explained. As they assured her that his shadow did not fall on her. That his sins did not land on her shoulders.

She slept between them for the first time in a year, and they cradled her as if she wasn’t already more than half their size.

When she woke, she told her father that she was ready to tame an ikran.

She avoided her reflection. She never got an answer on whether she and him looked alike.

She excelled in her training, learning and practicing faster and harder than any other child.

She had always grown up with Jake’s shadow, rising up to meet his greatness. But now, she had a dangerous figure behind her to never become.

And for a time, after she completed her Iknimaya and became a taronyu, she was happy. Because she was safe and loved, and nothing like him.

No, that man was gone, decomposed in a forgotten amp suit at the Old Shack. Forgotten by the animals and plants that took energy from his body.

He was dead.

Right?

so let’s talk tarsem and venus (because other things will be discussed later.) this is basically bonus facts.

i headcannon tarsem to be an orphan of war. i imagine him to be about twenty-five when he takes on jake’s position, so that makes him eighteen in this chapter.

he meets venus officially when he’s sixteen and she’s nine. she followed him around because she wanted to train with him, and he kind of just lets her.

this fosters into a kind of sister-brother relationship. NO, THIS IS NOT ROMANCE. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THERE IS SEVEN YEARS BETWEEN THEM.

tarsem just thinks venus is a funny little kid who’s a ridiculously good archer.

and she thinks he’s really quiet but really nice.

one time jake jokingly said that he should see if tarsem wanted to court venus when she was seventeen and war had broke out.

she sucker punched him in the gut. she didn’t mean to do it so hard, but she didn’t exactly apologize.

tarsem just calls venus’s bluff on a lot of things, because he sees her very clearly. and btw, venus would have approved of the choice of tarsem if she knew of it.

taglist:

@lisedanie @xstarsmvxz @avatar4eva

[popculturebuffet]

It's Not the Years, It's the Mileage Finale: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy archelogists and welcome to the final installment of my Indiana Jones Retrospective, It's Not the Years, It's the Milleage. For those just joining us for the epic conculsion, i've covered all four previous Indy films over the past few months, from the good with great action set pieces, iconic lines, and deft character work, to the bad with the uncomfortable amount of brown face, temple of dooms theme park version of india and support of colonolisim, and Crystal Skulls sterotpyical 'savage tribesman", to the just plain weird with aborted ideas such as a haunting in scottland, a chess game to the death, sun wukong vs indiana jones, and an out and out alien invasion which Indy makes out during suprising no one.

IT's been one long, LONG journey and today.. it ends, as does the film franchise. With Dial of Destiny. Dial is the main reason we did this: a fresh fim with ford, with a fresh director in Logan maestro James Mangold, a final chapter for the ages.. and it has been recived with a resounding

Yeah while there was some hype for this film from Fans of Mangold or Indy (Of which i'm now both) it's now gotten to the point Wikipedia has out and out labeled it a box office bomb and Naturally the failure of this film has been taken with grace and restraint by the internet

It hasn't helped that Indy has come out in a summer with plummeting box office from usual money makers, so people are only more on their "Why aren't people seeing these films" kick. When really the reasons aren't new. We have "Doing the same shit a diffrent day instead of going with what was new and working " (Transformers rise of the beasts), "Another film outboxing it" (Elemental), "The company behind it simply not promoting it at all" (Ruby Gilman, which I intend to review at some point), " or "Oopsie we hired a pedophile as our leading actor, have no idea where we were taking this franchise when we started this film, and our company is ran by an evil overlord no one likes whose actively made the media landscape worse ever since he took over, better hope our promotoinal tactics work..."

The issues aren't new, their simply finding hitting people over the head.. and that's what happened here. Indy had an uphill battle: I was only invested at first because James Mangold was directing it and Logan is still one of the best superhero movies ever made. I got more invested thanks to this retrospective. Given Disney's slipshod treamant of star wars and terrible treatment of last jedi as well as the mcu being a mess right now, it's not a huge leap that many audiences really didn't want to gamble on ANOTHER disney live action movie that just looked okay, no matter how much Phoebe Waller Bridge or Antonio Bandareas it had. While it's sad as I honestly don't think the film deserved THIS much of a bomb.. I can't blame audiences for waiting for Disney Plus. We simply live in an era now where most people have tons of streamers or will get one for a month to watch one movie and anything else they've caught up on. We're simply entering an era where having a big brand name isn't a guarantee and in this case can be a curse if that name is disney. Big franchises can work, see Spider-Verse and Scream VI making great money, but you have to have something to offer.

So come with me under the cut as we see if Indy has just that or is best left in the past

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHOYHOY

When I'm Gone, He's Gone

As you'd expect, Lucas still wanted to make a 5th film after Skull, with Speilberg and Ford on board as always. This time though..

Lucas himself went to the press saying he wanted to do something new and Speilberg was stuck in the past... which I translate as Lucas once again went kinda nuts on the premise while , much like after Temple of Doom, Speilberg wanted something a tad more grounded to avoid making the same mistake twice. It comes off as the two just could never quite agree on what to do and eventually.. decided to let the franchise move on without him, selling it and the rest of Lucasfilm to Disney. Disney naturally wanted an indy film right away and after getting the distribution rights one year later in 2023.. it took them a decade.

Yeahhh while we got the sequel trilogy pretty fast in hollywood time it took a good decade for Indy to put his hat on. At first there were rumors floated about about recasting, then it was settled on ford, then Speilberg was set to direct and the film proceded to go through a ton of writers, from Crystal Skull's david koepp

And even Dan Fogelman of This is Us royalty was floated as one of the writers. The film also got delayed thanks to Speilbergs work on Ready Player One and the Post, before he eventually stepped off all together. He claimed it was to pass it on to a fresh director, but it really feels like his heart wasn't in it anymore, and it was best someone whose heart was took the lead.

Enter James Mangold, director of The Wolverine, Logan and Kicker of ass. Mangold was a solid choice and my book and along with his usual co-writers Jez and John Henry Butterworth, who I assure you are real people but cannot assure you aren't old timey prospectors sent forward in time, hashed out the script.

Casting went smoothly, as did filiming, with the only hiccup being production's start being delayed because of COVID. They shot in morocco, england, ireland and spain, along with the us as you'd expect. Speilberg wasn't entirely detached as he still advised and watched dalies, ultimately loving the final product. So now we can actually look at that product let's start with how it writes Indy himself. The Mileage Adds Up

One of the things that made me not really enjoy Doom or Crystal.. was a lack of character work. Indy was about the same as when he started the adventure in contrast to Raiders and Last Crusade taking him on a wonderful character journey, in the former getting his passion back and in the later reconcliing with his dad. Dial of Destiny dosen't reach those highs, but I still think it does a decent job. The opening.. is okay detailing Indy having an adventures in the last day sof the third reich, setting up both Helna's Dad and our big bad, as well as Archimedes Dial, basied on the real life Antyhkiera Mechanism. I really do love the dial as a plot device as it's a departure, being the only one of the five to not involve a god of some sort, and yes the alien counts. It's just a time machine a famous philospher made. It's still fucking neat, I mean IT'S A TIME MACHINE A FAMOUS PHILSOPHER MADE, but it's a bit more grounded while still being pretty damn nifty.

So while the intro is mostly.. eh for me, what it does really well... is contrast the indy we know.. with where he is in 1969: Unlike Crystal Skull, which glossed over the massive amount of time passed, here were with an indy who feels both his age.. and that he's been left behind by the world. That time has taken everything from him: his friends, his father, his marriage.. and his son. He's left to yell at the neighbors, go to a class that dosen't pay attention and have a retirment party he clearly dosen't want. Granted his retirment does feel like a missed opportunity as wikipedia mentioned it pre-release as being forced out due to speaking out against operation paper clip, something that I either missed.. or more likely simply ISN'T in the film. It's a real shame, the idea is great it's just not present. This creates a really intriguing Parallel: Indy at the start of the last adventure of his we'll see is a broken down man whose years of adventuering have left a mark on him, who is estranged from Marion, has not a ton to live for, and is clearly only loosely holding it together. And the Indy we met in Raiders.. is a broken down man whose years of adventuring left a mark on him, is estranged from marion, has not a ton to live for and is clearly only loosely holding it together. The diffrence is how tired Indy is. In his late 30's he's beaten a bit and reduced to graverobbing.. but the minute he gets a real assignemnt int he grail, he jumps to it. He has his job, he has his friendship with marcus, and he's able to fix things with marion. He's not completely gone, he's just lost. Indy in Dial... has watched all his friends and his son, more on that in a minute, die, his marriage fall apart, and his job slip out under him. Without his job.. he's a man without a purpose.

This also ironically creates another Scrooge McDuck parallel, another bit of symmetry and one I didn't plan on till I started writing this and thought of the story: Indy reminds me a lot of Scrooge in the final part of Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. Both are seasoned adventueres who have either pushed away anyone they have left or lost them and feel they just have nothing left but to slowly rot away.

And like Scrooge it takes a bolt of inspiration from the new generation after him to get Indy back in the game. In this case it's the highlight of the film, Helena Shaw, played by the wonderful, funderful fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge. WB likely dosen't need any introduction but just in case she was showrunner of the successful and inventive stage show turned amazon prime show fleabag, showran killing eve and in general is pretty delightful. So it's no huge suprise she's great as Helena Shaw, daughter of Marcus Indy's sidekick for the intro who became obessed with our titular macguffin, Archemedis Dial, which can travel through time some time, though not to the end of all man kind. Helena is a neat character in that they managed to make her distinct while still giving her enough similarties to indy to serve well as his shadow, his ghost of sins past, him in his prime. She's also a brilliant archelogist, has a kid sidekick like indy did in temple of doom with Teddy Kumar (Ethann Isidoore), sells priceless artifacts for a profit, has a messy love life, kicks plenty of ass, and tries to command every room she's in. What helps seperate them is their demeanor: Indy is gruff, snarky and surly. While Helena can snark with the best of them, she's fast talking, fast thinking, and tends to use charm as much as the old Indy Guile both heroes posses. The main diffrence is rather than sell to museums, she sells to private collectors...

Okay the REAL difference is that she's only in it for the money while Indy at least, on some level, cared about the history even at his lowest. Helena just sees all her father could do and all she learned from being around him before his passing as a way to get. Once again like Indy.. she had a father who cared more about some big treasure than her child.. and a godfather who cared more about what was going on in his life than ever checking up on her. She's a person whose been left to her own devices and feels she's doing just fine.. but honestly could be putting her talents to better use. Maybe not in a school like indy, but she could help return artifacts to their countries... probably still for a pretty penny, but not just to some random asshole to sit in his den.

You can tell dealing with her just makes Indy feel even more tired, which is somehow possible after all he's been through. He's once again seeing a ghost of his past and this time can't seem to get it through her head. When she celebrates shortly after his friend Renaldo dies, he has to sharply remind her. Nothing seems to get through to her.. till we get to THAT scene. Probably the best scene of the film. The climax is awesome.. but it's this one moment. On a boat at night, Helena asks Indy what he'd do with the dial, clearly thinking some grand adventure.. instead Indy: I'd stop my son from enlisting Helena: And how would you do that? Indy: I would tell him that he would die, that his mother would be overcome with a grief so intense that his father would be unable to console her, and that it would end their marriage. The sheer PAIN Ford conveys during that monologue.. may be the finest acting he's ever done. You can just FEEL Indy's loss; his son is gone, his marriage is torn, and he blames himself for both. It gives a horrible pathos to why he's so broken down. Both developments.. coudl've been really cheap. With how much everyone but me seems to hate mutt, and how rightly no one can stand shia suprise these days, most were expecting..

Instead Mutt's death is used as the catalyst for Indy's slow spiral into dispair. He would've been happy in retirment.. but he lost his son, his wife.. he's a man truly with nothing left he feels. And while he gets some old spark back unlike Scrooge.. he's fighting it every step. He dosen't want an adventure, he dose'nt want anything but his son back, and he knows damn well that even if the dial could... the sad truth is it likely has some horrible cost to it. The grail gave eternal life but bound you to a spot. The Skull gave you the knowledge of an unknowable alien god, but drove you mad. The arc killed anyone who looked. If the Dial even works... he knows it can't bring his son back, and he's only going after it because it's better in a museum than in the hands of Nazis. We also see a change in Helena. She goes from following Indy's lead out of nececity, to seeing his point, to seeing the beauty of the world instead of just the dollar signs. She still wants the money.. but she starts to see the beauty in history instead of the dollar. I also like that this isn't easy on Teddy, who sees her postive changes as coming between him and his surrogate mom, when really she fully intends to stick with Teddy no matter what and shows nothing but loyalty.. and in the end.. they dont' really finish that arc

I like Teddy a lot, and I wish this had more of a bow on it, though we do get him taking down a nazi and trapping him to drown and later getting into a dogfight. Teddy slaps is what i'ms aying> He dosen't have a ton of deep character to explore, but he's fucking great.

This all really cumulates in the climax.. which is so great i'd rather save it for after we cover one last major character, our antagonist. Our big bad is Mads Mikkelsen as Jurgen Voller, a thereoticain who wants the dial. At first Indy assumes, as most of the audience would that Voller simply wants the dial, which he's shown to obess over to win the war for hitler. Turns out Voller's plan is more complex. We see in the intro how Voller is the ONLY one who both sees the dial's value among the nazi's and the writing on the wall: Hitler is almost gone, he fucked them over. It's over. And thus the horror of Voller isn't like with Thot , at the giant horrifying nazi machine and all their power, and more at evil allowed to hide in plain sight. At a society who forgives horrible people because their useful. Voller got a free pass thanks to operation paperclip.. and the film shows while that idea got us tons of advances including space flight.. it came at the cost of giving horrible people real power and influence. The president is outright giving voller a MEDAL. And he hasn't changed: a truly chilling bit has him talking to a black bellhop delivering meal and asking where he came from.. and dismissing him saying he came from america. Voller is every bit the white supremacist monster he ever was, he's completely loyal to the idea of the nazi's. .just not to hitler. Voller's whole plan isn't to help hitler.. but to take him out, replace him and have someone compitent win. And he only gets as fara s he does because the goverment willingly works with him, gives him agents, goes after Helena and the dial. They know what he his but fully aid and abet him. Sure they eventually realize he's gone rogue, that his pet agent is entirely in his pocket.. but they don't turn on him till far too late and with one of their great agents dead. Concidentaly I feel Agent Mason is wasted: she's the calm rational agent.. but she's also the only major black character in the film and gets killed by a nazi. That's.. entirely fucked up and while I suspect inteitonally fucked up it just dosen't work for me.

Voller is also once again, much like with Belloc, an evil mirror of indy: Both are geniuses who adore history.. but one's a good person despite being gruff while one seems harmless when we first meat him but is actually a total monster. Mads does a great job showing just how evil the guy is without going over the top. Voller is determind to change history... and he does.. just not how he wanted to.

This Ain't 1933!

The climax.. is fucking awesome. Like Crystal Skull it goes beyond what the series had done before, if not more so. It's arguably even MORE over the top. But it works. For those who haven't seen the film... INDY GOES BACK IN TIME. The dial DOES indeed work.... but it's set up to ONLY go back to this point. Helena points out the idea of "loaded decks' earlier.. and realizes the dial is one. Archimedes only left it behind to create a stable time loop.

Indy going back into actual history is nuts, entirely and my jaw dropped at it.. but it's so damn fun. Our heroes not only have to escape the plain and get the dial back after it drops onto the coast, but survive the Siege of Syracuse, the roman invasion that eventaully resulted in Archimedes end. So we have two planes flying overhead, arrows everywhere and nazis versus romans. It's over the top but not in a way that really undermines the franchise, and frankly as what's intended to be the final act of indy ever, it's a fitting finale: the man whose explored history in the present.. gets to LITERALLY go to the past for his final adventure. I do get how not everyone will agree, and it won't work for everybody, this may be a bit tooo over the top, but I love it and feel it nicely ties up everyone's character arcs.

For Voller he gets to join history.. but instead of "fixing" it like he wanted he dies horribly and is forgotten to history only the "dragon" (his palne" is left.. and cleverly foreshadowed earlier when Teddy watches a puppet show. His nazi's all die and it's glorious to watch nazi after nazi go down from arrows or our two heroes escaping the plane while teddy takes the rest down with the help of a hapless pilot.

We then get the payoff for both Helena and Indy, as Indy gives the dial to archimedes.. and plans to stay. After all we established he's lost everything... why would he go back? He'll die soon.. but he's cconvinced he'll die soon back in the present. It's Helena who'se ultimately changed realizing both the value of history.. and ultimately the movie's moral: you can't change the past, but you can live for today. Helena can't change her awful upbringing or the things she's done.. but she can be better. And Indy can't save his son from death, save archimedes from death or be a better husband to marion during the greving process.. but he can be better to her and still live now. He still has so much to offer. He taught helena to love history and to try and be better. He gave his son a better life even if it was sadly cut short. He can be better. And when he can't be convinced the easy way she proves she's fully earned her way to being indy's succesor and just clubs him and takes him back (the dial has to go back with them as archimedes needs to make his own). The end scene also mostly works for me: Indy is back at his apartment.. but finds he's not alone as when he woke up there last time: Not only has Helena forgiven him, having realized much like Indy himself that warts and all, he's family, but Sallah, who I haven't gotten to talk about is here. Sallah is great in this film, not only helping Indy when he needs to lay low but enocuraging his friend it's not over. It's also nice to see Indy helped him and his family immigrate and that he's teaching his grand kids egyptian. It's also a nice way to still have davies play the roll.. but have him get a bit more depth and make up for a white guy playing the roll.

And last but not least.. Marion returns, and the two reconcile. I thought it was a bit easy when I frist saw it.. but I see now i'ts more the idea they have a long road ahead.. but both are willing to see it together.. Indy admits he was wrong and Marion is willing to give him another shot. For the third time but at least this time it's likely she just needed some psace to realize he wasn't being callous he just wasn't processing his grief.. and now he's ready to.. maybe they have a shot. It's a nice way to close out the films: Indy's life isn't over, he's got friends, he's got his wife.. and there's always another rainbow.

Assorted Other Stuff: The action set pieces as usual are fucking great, my faviorites easily being the climax and the diving adventure. The latter reminded me a lot of Tin Tin, Red Rackam's Treasure. Antonio Banderas is great as Reynaldo and I only wihs he had a bigger part.. and survived. It's not a huge suprise, saying Antonio Banderas is great. While I LIKED the finale with Marion, I'm with Karen Allen. They could've used her more. She deserves better dammit. WHy is it with the sequels they just can NEVER get bringing her back right?

Last but not least.. ther'es this weird subplot only brought up in the first two acts where the government frames indy for Murder that just.. never gets resolved? Like they never adressed it and as far as I can tell there's no resolution. Now granted I still think Indy isn't going to be arrested: He's clearly been unconcious for a week and Helena did have to get him back into the US, so it's likely the goverment found out about voller, got a debrief from helena.. and agreed to clear her and indy's record and absolve him of murder in exchange for never talking about this to anyone, as a Nazi escaping and killing one of their agents , after they pardoned the guy wouldn't look good. But we needed a line. It's easily the most baffling decision in otherwise a really godo film.

So finally we're , like indy back where we started.. was the film that bad?

When writing the reviews for Crystal Skull and Temple, I honestly hated the films MORE the more I thought abotu them, the more I found wrong, the more I realized how little they did. With this film. it's the opposite. The more I examine dial, the more I find to like. The character arcs, the action, the payoff. It's not perfect, again Indy is still kinda wanted for murder among other little plot gaffes, but I do think Dial is a solid entry in the series and better than both temple and skull at capturing what made the series graet. It dosen't nail it perfectly.. but it's still a fun ride with some really good character work and phenominal performances. Really indy failed.. because no one cares outside of fans of the franchise. As my brother put it when talking about this very film recently, kids don't know indy. It's not the big hit with kids star wars was and is. Star Wars will likekly rebound someday because Kids still dig it and kids will grow up with the sequels the way I grew up with the prequels, warts and all. Disney just assumed Indy was enough to carry it and he wasn't. I'm sad at it because not only is this a good film, but I was hoping for more pulp adventure films. But i'm also happy at what we got and to have done this journey. I saw the good, and the bad. And I saw a franchise I ended up really loving. In the end I got what I needed out of this franchise