#do we know her full name i cant remember

[heart-freak]

i love her :)

[rumplereids]

wonderstruck.

part one. tags: spencer reid x fem!reader. tech analyst!reader. early-s1!spencer. a/n: tech analyst!reader won’t leave my little brain. i hope u like this :) masterlist. requests are open !

You were 21 when you got recruited into the bureau. Barely a graduate, and already on a FBI watchlist. Honestly, the only reason you’re under their watchful eyes is because of a lapse in judgment.

To celebrate the semester ending, your roommate decided that you both needed to get drunk. Being a psychology major with a pre-med roommate leads to tequila shots in your own dorm room. It’s the convenience and comfort of your own space that got you so drunk. This situation led to this: you admitting to your roommate, with heavy eyes, that you can “hack, you know. I learned when I was 15.”

She sat up from her place on the floor.

“Really? I don’t believe you!” she giggles, and then hiccups.

“I so can!” there’s indignation and a want to prove yourself in the tone of your voice.

“Okay, show me!”

Shuffling on heavy feet, you plop down in front of your laptop. A few clicks and the comforting clacks of your keyboard, and then a window pops open. You look at the wide-gaped mouth of your roommate. “What are you hacking?”

You hum, “I don’t know.”

And then you remember the talk from a few days ago. Two agents from the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit came over to your college to talk about criminal profiling to psychology majors and anyone else interested.

Completely inebriated, you manage to hack into their database. Your hazy mind doesn’t forget to compliment the beauty and intricacy of the codes and firewalls you broke down.

At Quantico, Virginia, Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia rushes into her unit chief’s office.

“Sir, somebody is attempting to get into my system. I think they’re trying to communicate?”

Hotch follows Garcia into her office, the quickness of their steps catching the attention of Dr. Spencer Reid who was seated at his desk, skimming over a case report.

When Hotch gets into Penelope’s ‘lair’, his eyes squint, adjusting to the dimmed lights and bright screens. On the main monitor, a window displaying the barebones of a text chat is open.

<ATHEN411> ????

<ATHEN411> hiiiiidfgsd

<YOU> Who is this?

<ATHEN411> ohymgofd i didnt think anyonewould alsnwer

<ATHEN411> wh o it sthis?

<YOU> BAU Section Chief Aaron Hotchner.

<ATHEN411> omfdg i know uuu !! jason mentoined u

<YOU> Jason?

<ATHEN411> yhuhh jason digeon or sumn omg i cant tpoye

<ATHEN411> sorry

<YOU> Jason Gideon? How do you know him?

<ATHEN411 disconnected.>

You’ve completely forgotten about the conversation. Until, a few days later. You’re turning the corner of the hallway to get into your dorm. Backpack slung on a shoulder, arms full of your laptop, binders and a soft-bound copy of your final paper. You stop in your tracks when you see two men stationed outside your room’s door.

One man was in a shirt, jeans, and combat boots. He also had sunglasses on. The other had a permanent furrow to his brows, dressed formally in a suit and tie.

“Hi, can I help you?” you ask, hand reaching into your hoodie pocket for your keys and pepper spray.

The one in sunglasses holds up a badge and ID.

“FBI. I’m Agent Morgan, this is Agent Hotchner. Are you Y/N L/N?”

You gulp, wondering why they knew your name.

“Um, yeah. Why?”

“Can we talk somewhere private?”

Your bring out your keys, and you notice how Agent Hotchner eyes the pepper spray keychained to it.

“Um, yeah. We can talk inside? My roommate’s still out.”

You unlock your door and walk in, the agents following in after you. Dropping your bag on your desk chair, you turn to ask the agents, “How can I help you?”

Agent Hotchner asks, “Are you familiar with the name athen-four-one-one?”

You look up at them guilty.

“It’s athena-eleven.”

“So, it’s you?” Agent Morgan clarifies.

“Yes. How did you find me?”

The two men share a glance. A silent conversation passing with you unknowing.

“Two nights ago, you hacked into the BAU’s database.”

You look at them in suprise, “I did?”

“Yes,” Agent Hotchner says, passing a folder to you. Inside are images and a transcript of messages shared between a ‘P.GARCIA’ and ‘ATHEN411’.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, realizing what’s happening.

“I was drunk off my ass two nights ago! I’m so sorry,” that catches Agent Morgan’s attention.

“You were drunk?”

“Yeah, my roommate and I were celebrating our exams. I didn’t… Am I in trouble?”

Agent Hotchner raises a hand in a placating gesture, “You were drunk when you hacked into the bureau’s database?” Confusion and slight amusement evident in the tone of his voice.

“Yeah,” you confess, “It was just a dare! I don’t even remember much of it.”

Agent Morgan looks as if he doesn’t know what to think about the situation. You feel the same. Agent Hotchner extends a hand to get the file back from you, and you give it to him easily.

“Would you go with us back to the station?”

“What? For what? Am I being sued?”

“The opposite. I would like to conduct a proper interview.” Agent Hotchner explains.

“An interview? For what?”

“A job as a technical analyst at Quantico.”

You look at them, eyes furrowing in confusion and disbelief, “What? I can’t!”

“Why not?”

You gesture toward your desk, “I still have a paper to pass!”

Meeting Penelope Garcia was like a dream come true.

“I should have realized! The triple-stacked firewall should’ve been so obvious! The Black Queen signature!”

The blonde’s eyes sparkle, happy to meet a match.

“Athena-Eleven! I didn’t even notice you were in my systems until you sent your first message.”

You feel your chest puff up at the indirect praise.

“You were one of my idols,” you admit, “Your exposé on Griffith Industries was just… stunning! Absolutely flawless. You had a section in your code that I used to build my private server—” Agent Hotchner interrupts your spiel.

He gestures to the rest of the room, where agents were seated at a round table.

“This is Y/N L/N, the unit’s newest technical analyst. ” he says, and you give a shy wave. You get a wave back from the agent wearing glasses. He’s cute. Have you seen him before?

“This is Jennifer Jareau, our communications liaison,” you shake her outstretched hand. She’s so pretty, you start to think, gorgeous blue eyes too.

“You’ve met Derek Morgan,” Agent Hotchner says, and Agent Morgan gives a two finger salute, his hands wrapped around a coffee cup.

“Agent Jason Gideon,” you return his handshake, mumbling a shy; “Hello, sir. Nice to see you again.”

And then, “This is Dr. Spencer Reid—”

“Oh! You were with Agent Gideon at the seminar! You talked a bit about geoprofiling, and how an unsub’s subconscious can’t help but stick close to home, which helps you triangulate the—” Agent Hotchner lets out another soft cough.

“Um, yeah. I did. Nice to meet you,” he gives another small wave, smile close-lipped and awkward. Endearing. He’s really cute. “I don’t really shake hands.”

You nod, “I get that, germs and stuff. It’s actually, weirdly, safer to kiss.”

You don’t see the way JJ and Derek look at each other, nor do you notice when Penelope whispered, “Oh my God, there’s two of them.”

“Your code name, it’s for the Athena, right? The Greek goddess of wisdom, warfare, and handicraft?” Dr. Reid asks you, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Yeah. I love greek mythology.”

He gives you a smile, “I do, as well. I’m wondering about the eleven though. Does it mean anything?”

You tsk’d through your teeth, “The angel number 1111’s often seen as a spiritual wake-up call and awakening. I thought it was fitting, and I was 15 when I chose the name, okay? Excuse little old me.”

“That’s cool,” Dr. Reid admits. If he remembers your file right, you were barely 17 when you became a trademark and known name in underground hacking circles. He can’t properly meet your eyes, struck in awe. Athena. It’s perfect for you.

“Y/N formally starts her job with us in three days,” Hotch informs the team, “Be kind.”

With a final word, Gideon and Hotch start to return to their offices.

Derek straightens from his position on the office chair. “I am very kind!”

“He didn’t say anything about you,” Penelope teases.

“Ooh, that says a lot, Morgan. It says so much,” JJ teases back.

You smile at them, your new co-workers, taking the seat JJ was gesturing at for you. The three continue bickering, you start to tune them out as you make eye contact with Dr. Reid. The apple of his cheeks blush red, and you can’t stop the grin on your lips from getting wider. He’s downright enchanting.

[keeper-of-gates]

i think the worst thing for the kids alongside getting experimented on and then losing their mobility, emotional and mental intelligence and then expected to just work, is that they aren't seen as alive by workers and scientists alike.

the cargo hold full of holding cells of children, literal children, crying for whoever they somehow remember, or even just nonsensical noises because they lost their ability to process any vocals, and the workers are just "fuck they've started up again, I thought we were going a have quiet one".

they are literally making them work for RATIONS. not even enough food, and if we are counting the fact the Doey is three children at different ages, thats not going to work if he has three times the appetite. not to mention they force those who are rightfully not able to do anything or just cant even process their lives now with the threat of starvation.

Riley even suffered from an obvious case of a phantom limb, she can still feel her fingers but she cant separate them, yet somehow she still had the ability to at least write which is likely the only thing that connected her to humanity still.

i cant imagine how many kids and adults had to live through confusion once waking up in a new body they didn't recognise, lifting a heavy head and focusing on a hand that's not theirs. being spoken to and about as a number or a name that's not theirs, not even looked as an equal but as a tool.

i can't imagine how it felt waking up and hearing two other boys echoing in your own head and not understanding where your doey toy is, or why you can hear your mummy calling for you but you can't speak to say you are there.

I can't imagine being stuck in the same place behind a glass case, something that was meant to keep you safe in conception but a prison in hindsight, unable to do anything but hearing everything. knowing what is happening but you cant do anything to stop it.

i can't imagine how you were placed on higher regard by someone high above who simply saw you as nothing but a pet, interfering with your abilities and slowly isolating you to the point this person was your world, the only thing that could give you any form of connection now, and then suddenly, he's not there any more. you can hear him calling for you, but you cant find him. you cant reach him. he is no longer in the same office you remember. his voice was still there but physically? you are alone.

these were children. they are still children.

[f1version]

MY GIRL ♥︎ MSC47

pairing: mick schumacher x girlfriend! reader ( she/her )

summary: mick loves his girlfriend, you love your boyfriend. you love each other on valentine’s day.

author’s note: this smau is chaotic, starts with silliness and ends with a piece of my heart, not much fuss. it’s short and sweet, not my best work but one i’ll remember for falling asleep finishing at 6am after surviving a long night at the lab, feeling incredibly tired. so, enjoy <3

love on top, a vday special ♥︎ general masterlist

now playing ♫₊⊹ my girl by the temptations

yourusername added to their story!

mickschumacher

angie would never do that to me

she knows you're mine

yourusername

the people you trust the most can betray you i fear

mickschumacher

good thing she's a dog 🥰

yourusername

i’m still hersssss

mickschumacher

then you’re mine because we share everything!!!!

yourusername

whatever you say baby

yourusername

Liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon and 287,470

yourusername 💐 season

February 13, 2024

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mickschumacher most stunning girl ever

yourusername i love u

mickschumacher me - 1 / angie - 0

yourusername MICK

mickschumacher 😍😍

user3 i really thought i would get here before mick

user7 you're so beautiful i CANT

user10 ONE chance ONE

mickschumacher 🤨🤨

user50 LMAO MICK

user04 he's shameless atp

user5 there’s a point in life you stop asking “can mick fight?” because you know he will

user87 ma'am i require outfit details

yourbestfriend can i get a flower 🤲🏼

yourusername ofc my luv 🌷

yourbestfriend thank you babe

user2 ＠yourbestfriend 🗣️BEWARE🗣️OF🗣️THE🗣️BOYFRIEND🗣️

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yourusername and mickschumacher added to their stories!

mickschumacher

Liked by yourusername, estebanocon and 398,625 others

mickschumacher Happy valentine’s day to the girl who lights up my world. My sunshine. My sweet girl. My purest love. Words will never summarize all you mean to me, you are so unique, so remarkably you. And if you asked me to try and put a name to what I feel, I’d remember this one quote: My heart is so full of you I can hardly call it my own.

I love you. You know I do. I’ve fallen for you and I still do every day. Beyond your boyfriend, I’ll always be someone you can count on. Today, tomorrow, in 10 years, in 50, forever. I will do everything I can to support and love you the way you deserve, appreciate you until I give my last breath. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me in these 3 years of partners and many more of friendship. Thank you for loving me so well, for teaching me what it means to love and be loved.

I hope you are my future as much (& more) as you are my present. Because from what I know about soulmates, you are mine ���️

February 14, 2024

[sturniolo04]

could you write one where chris’s 1 yearr red old daughter has a panic attack but chris isn’t home and only nick and matt but she keeps asking for chris and wanting chris (chris is a single dad) but chris isn’t home and is like an hour away at the doctors or meeting or something

A/n:  ofc! I absolutely love these requests I have coming in, you guys are amazing!! I hope you love it! And remember to leave requests in my inbox! If you don’t like the pre added name in my works you can simply put in your own or don’t read it, it up to you :)-Charli

dividers: @issysh3ll

Chris' daughter Madison was never really one to have nervous breakdowns or even be nervous at all for that matter she seemed to take after chris in that regard for sure in not having a nervous bone in her body.

it wasnt until she found out that she was going to end up spending practically a whole couple of hours without him in the house due to Chris having to take a work trip a couple hours out from LA.

"hey mads do you want to some lunch"

matt asks the girl who was currently sitting on the couch watching a random cartoon show with Nick in the living room across the way. Madison had seemed to be doing fairly okay with knowing that chris wasn't going to be home for a couple hours but then again they were only about an hour into those two hours.

"mhm"

madison mumbles out barely audibly. Matt ended up making her lunch which consisted of some Mac and Cheese and some carrot sticks. Madison happily ate the food and had lunch sitting with nick and matt at the kitchen table as they scrolled on their phones not fully paying attention to her.

In that moment Madison was feeling an overwhelming sense of aloneness kicking in. See the thing is Chris is always giving her his full undivided attention and if he wasn't paying attention to her fully he would let her know and immediately make it up to her. With Chris she would never feel alone.

Chris was supposed to be home in about 50 ish minutes at most but they dont know if the meeting was actually going to end on time and he would end up running late and Madison knew in the back of her mind that there could potentially be a delay and for her sake she really hoped that wasn't the case.

Madison randomly out of nowhere started to sob startling matt and nick immediately.

"mads oh my gosh whats wrong sweetie"

nick coos out immediately as he and matt make their way over to her sitting on either side of her. Madison not being able to fully articulate what was really going on with her and how she felt like she couldn't get air in or out couldn't help but stutter out a couple of incoherent words.

"madison hey its okay breathe"

matt coos immediately noticng that this was panic attack she was having. Her sobbing didn't stop in fact it seemed to be getting worse.

"nick we should call chris i dont know what else to do"

matt panics out as nick agrees reaching for his phone on the table dialing his number.

"yes i think thats a great idea oh I'm sorry I have to take this"

chris trails off seeing the incoming call from nick on his phone screen. Chris answers it stepping out of the room to talk to him.

"nick whats up is everything okay"

chris asks into the phone.

"um madison is sobbing right now and saying she cant breathe matt thinks she is having a panic attack and we dont know what to do"

nick panics out as chris begins to worry a little hearing him.

"did you give her some water maybe"

chris suggests not knowing what to do either considering he was a couple hours away from the house and not done with his meeting but also because madison never had a panic attack before.

"we did and she seemes to be getting worse"

matt states as he is still tyrying to get madison to mimick his breathing to get her to get back to a steady breathing pattern.

"maybe she needs to hear your voice I dont know I will put you on speaker"

nick suggests putting his phone on speaker and setting it on the table.

"madison sweetheart talk to me whats going on"

chris asks his daughter hoping ot get a response.

"d-d-d-daddy i-i-i cant n-no air"

she stutters out into the phone immediately breaking chris' heart that she was suffering this much and that he couldn't do too much about it in the moment.

"yes you can love copy uncle matts breathing breathe with in and out"

chris coos as she begins to listen to him because she always listens to Chris.

"there you go"

nick coos out to her as her breathing becomes normal again.

"feel better"

chris asks into the phone as madison begins to feel guilty for taking up everyone's time.

"im sorry"

madsion honestly mumbles making nick and matt confused.

"for what"

nick chuckles rubbing her back comfortingly.

"for this what happened"

madison mumbles playing with her fingers out of guilt and embarrassment.

"sweetheart you dont have to be sorry normal"

chris states.

"i know i just was really missing you and was scared you weren't going to come home"

she begins to ramble.

"its okay mads chris is okay"

matt coos out to her.

"i will be home soon angel promise"

chri chuckles.

Tagslist🗂️

@mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @dirtylittleheart333

@stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @ksturnz @chaoswithus @emely9274 @ivysturnss @sturniolo-szn2 @lezleeferguson-120 @courta13 @chrepsi @lyingonchris

@tezzzzzzzz @babytomatoes21 @zenithsturniolo

[littlxpxtal]

I wish I never met you

TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader

WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

Mixing liquor and pot

Heard your brain cells can rot

If my memory was shot

I would like that a lot

I wish I could forget you

May

It was all a blur. The whole day. Zipping up my gown, putting the bobby-pins in my hair to situate the cap on my head.

I wish I could say graduation was the best day of my life, but I barely remember any of it. My name rumbled through the field, my legs moving without a thought. I moved my lips up on my face for the picture, shook hands with faculty that I had never seen or spoken to in my entire life.

The dinner with my parents was bland. They went on and on about college, asking me questions about what I decided to study. I don’t even remember the answer I gave.

I didn’t come to reality until the third time my phone rang while I laid on the edge of my bed, head hanging off the edge with my eye closed, a random record playing on my turntable was at the end and a soft humming noise filled the room.

I decided to finally check who it was, and to no surprise it was Sabrina.

“Hi” I mumbled into the phone, flipping over onto my stomach, one hand barely holding up the phone while the other dangled towards the ground.

”You done with family shit yet?”

”yes.” I answered simply, closing my eyes.

“Well I know you’re out feeling the best but, I really think you should come with me tonight.”

I groaned into my sheets.

“Sab” I whispered, my voice shaking.

“You can’t let this take over your life, y/n. We only graduate high school once.”

her positivity sickened me. I knew she was right. I didnt want her to be.

“Sab its the same shit we’ve been doing all year, what is different about tonight?”

“Well there’s no risk of expulsion”

”hah” it was her turn to groan in response.

“Y/N, im spending the whole summer abroad and I leave next week. I seriously need you to do this for me.”

”you cant pull that shit on me Sabrina its not fair.”

”but its true, y/n. You’re my best friends and I need you. You were a fucking zombie today. Snap out of it.”

there was a period of silence. I sat up in my bed and turned the lamp on.

“Well, what should I wear?” I can tell she tried to hide it, but I could hear her squeal on the other line.

“Cute top and a skirt.”

”I can make that work”

”fuck YA THERE SHE IS” she cheers into the phone. “I’ll pick you up in 15.”

We arrived to see the beach was already filled up, party in full swing. Sabrina gave me a reassuring look before we walked towards them.

”Let’s get some drinks. You deserve one” she says to me. I nod my head, following her lead.

We make our way over to the nearest keg, taking one of the many cups the boys were passing out.

“Grab me two” I whisper in her ear. She smiles wide and winks.

”That’s what im talking about.”

I chugged the first cup,passing it back to the kid who was pouring them out, he filled it back up and we walked with our cups to the dance floor.

“You gonna double fist all night?” Sabrina asks over the music.

”that’s the plan” I mumble back. The speakers are booming a new Metro Boomin song, and we make our way to the group of girls that are dancing.

I lose track of time, and snap back into reality when I notice Sabrina furiously texting on her phone.

“What’s up?” I ask. She hesitantly looks up, and locks her phone, sliding it back into her purse.

“Nothing, just, Toppers here. But, he’s with … his friends. So im just gonna stay here for a bit.” She awkwardly looks away, makes eye contact, then looks away.

“Sab, its okay, I would be an idiot to think he wouldn’t be here, especially with your boyfriend. Go say hi.” I give her shoulder a nudge and she shakes her head.

“No, im here with you.”

”im serious Sab.”

”just one more song. Who knows how long he’ll keep me on his arm if I go now.”

”you know I can fend for myself.” Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift starts playing on the speakers and Sabrina jumps up and down.

”I know, but I LOVE this song”

She starts leading us to the middle of the circle, and we sing to each other, as if we were the only two people on the beach. By the time the song is over, were doubled over laughing,our drinks spilt all over the sand.

“Im gonna go get another drink, you go say hi to topper okay?” She frowns and reaches for my hand.

”Fine, but I’ll be right back okay?” I roll my eyes.

”I told you I’ll be fine. Just go okay?” She smiles and skips away. I watch her walk over to the other side of the crowd, where a group of guys are standing, including Topper, Kelce, and, well of course, Rafe.

I notice everyone’s in conversation, expect for him. He’s just sipping from his cup, staring out into the sea.

I catch myself staring for too long, and realize i'm still in the middle of the dance circle, with two empty cups. I look around for the nearest keg and walk slowly over.

I made empty conversation with the girls standing around the keg while waiting in line, checking my phone every so often. The DJ continues to play songs I like, including pursuit of happiness, collard greens, Roll in Peace and more.

I find myself tipsy, dancing by myself in the sea of people. By the time I finally looked at my phone again, it had been an hour and I had a text from Sabrina.

were fuckin in my car really quick lol I’ll be right back.

that was from 5 minutes ago, so I probably wouldn’t see her for at least another half an hour.

I was tired of dancing, so I started walking towards the edge of the party, closer to the water.

The temperature outside was perfect. There was a slight breeze, not enough for me to put my hair up, but enough to get a whiff of the sea.

I pulled my phone out to take a picture of the water and the moon, before I heard a shout.

“Fucking BITCH”

I could recognize that voice anywhere. I whip my head to the right and see Rafe and another figure a few yards away.

everything in my mind told me not to go. But my heart was controlling my feet. I walked closer, and realized the other person was Noah.

“You ruined fucking EVERYTHING” Rafe growled.

“I didnt do shit expect tell her the truth man. She’s a dirty fucking shut,all you did was make sure I knew.”

I tensed up, and made eye contact with Noah. He smirked and looked back at rafe.

“Perfect timing, y/n, we were just talking about you!” Noah exclaimed, splashing the liquid in his cup in the air.

Rae whips his head back and stares deep into my eyes.

“Y/n,” he whispers. My body is still tense.

“Wh-whats going on” I ask

”your boyfriend - sorry I mean .. your confusing complicated situation ship over here is harassing me.”

rafe keeps his eyes on me. I cant read his expression, he looks empty.

“Maybe, if you just stayed in your place on the cut, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” Noah shouts at me.

I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out.

I decide its just best if I leave. I start to walk away and hear Noah chuckling.

“This is all YOUR fault” Rafe yells, lunging at Noah. Noah swings back in defense, and I stop in my tracks.

“STOP” a scream escapes my lips and I run over. Rafe is knocked to the ground scrambling to get back on his feet.Noah kicks him back down, and I hear a sharp click, and notice something in Noah’s hand. The smile on his face is terrifying, and as I get closer I realize its a switchblade.

“My god Noah put that thing away.” I whisper.

“If rafe wants to fight, we can fucking fight.”

He points the blade down at rafe who is still struggling to stand.

“Noah, seriously,” I walk towards him and his eyes flicker towards me, down at rafe and back at me. He points the blade up at me, and I start to shake.

“You’re insane” I whisper, taking a step back.

While he’s distracted, Rafe takes the opportunity to pull Noah’s leg, knocking him to the ground. The blade falls from his grip into the sand, and I lunge to get it. He reaches after it too, our bodies colliding. Rafe pulls him away from me while I grab the knife, and he pins Noah down, punching him straight in the face.

“That’s ENOUGH” I shout at the two of them. They both freeze and look up at me. The knife is dangling from my hand pointed down.

“Noah get the fuck out of here. And don’t EVER pull this shit again. You’re just embarrassing yourself.” He scrambles to his feet, patting the sand off his pants.

“Give me my knife back y/n” he commands. I shake my head.

”I’ll give it to you when you’re sober.”

he looks over at rafe. Something in his face must’ve scared him, because he makes a beeline back to the party.

I walk slowly towards rafe and pass him the knife. He safely closes it and stuffs it in his pocket.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He huffs, brushing sand off himself. He turns to look at the water, and his shoulders slump.

”I wish I knew” he whispered. After a brief moment of silence he turns to me, with sadness in his eyes this time.

“Look, y/n, im really-“

”I don’t want to fucking hear it okay? How many times are you going to put me through this. Like seriously?”

His jaw twitched and he looked down, running a hand over his hair.

“It hurts. It hurts so fucking much to see you hurt” he finally says.

“Then why do you keep hurting me?”

the sound of the waves and music behind us fills the silence.

“I don’t mean to. I just keep fucking up.”

I sigh, unsure of what to say. He takes a step towards me, I flinch slightly, which he notices, and makes him sigh.

“Sometimes I cant tell” I start to say. He looks up at me and takes another step forward.

“Sometimes I cant tell if you like me or hate me” I whisper the last part.

“Neither” his voice cracks slightly, and he looks up at the moon.

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, y/n. And I don’t, I don’t just like you, okay? I don’t just like you I fucking-“ he stops himself, his voice getting hoarse. “I fucking love you okay? And its driving me insane.”

I furrow my eyebrows and let out an involuntary laugh.

”the fuck are you talking about Cameron?”

he looks back at me, his face hard and serious.

“I mean, im fucking obsessed with you. I can never get you up of my head, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. You’re always just THERE. All the fucking songs you’ve showed me, all my favorite shows and movies. God even my favorite color. Its just you, and its always been you. It’s fucking terrifying, did you know that?”

”I-I-“ I stammer. He takes a step closer.

“I think about you when is wake up, when I eat breakfast, when I work out, when I do homework, when im smoking, when im drinking, when im high out of my fucking mind, when im sober, when im driving around town. All I see is you. You’re fucking everywhere and I cant get you out of my head.”

”it sounds like you don’t want me there.”

”that’s the problem is I DO. I want you there, I want you with me. And I finally fucking had you, and I just-“ his voice breaks again and he closes his eyes.

“Just don’t know how to keep you.”

”rafe” I whisper, walking towards him to close the distance. “Rafe, why didnt you tell me?”

”god y/n, you don’t even know how hard it is. Im dealing with all this shit in my head, and I wanted to save you from it but you made your way deeper into my life than ever before, and I couldn’t hide you from how fucked up I am. I tied you into this mess, and it’s not good for you.”

”why did you tell Noah that lie about me and JJ?”

”I told him because he was bragging to everyone about taking you out. I was pissed that someone else was going to take you. I was jealous. I didnt think it was going to hurt you the way it did.”

”why didnt you just tell me before he even asked me out. We were seeing each other-“ he cuts me off

”because y/n, its easier for me to do shit like that than it is to express my feelings okay? I cant do this love shit easy alright? It doesn’t come naturally like it does some people. It’s fucking terrifying”

his breathing is ragged, and he starts to clutch his chest.

“It gives me these chest pains like I cant fucking breathe.”

he huffs out, trying to catch his breath. I notice his face is flustered.

”cmon, lets sit” I grabs his hand and pull him down onto the sand,

“its okay just breathe” his pants slow down, and I wrap my arm around his shoulders.

“It’s okay” I whisper again. He leans his head on my chest, and I hear a sob escape his mouth.

“Im so fucking sorry. Im so fucking sorry” he repeats this over and over a few times before going quiet.

”I know you are.” I finally say.

We sit in silence for about 5 minutes before its interrupted.

”Y/N! There you are-“ Sabrina cuts herself off when she sees us, Topper trailing behind her.

“I knew it” I heard him whisper to her.

”well, did you guys kiss and make up” topper slurs. She shoves his chest, letting out a giggle and a hiccup.

“You guys have been boning for hours now”i shoot back at them. Topper lets out a nervous laugh and Sabrina hides her face.

“Well, are you guys going to come join us or?” She asks. Rafe sits up and looks at me

“Can we start over?”

I smile at him, stand up and reach out my hand.

“Rafe?” I whisper, he takes my hand and stands up, his figure looming over me.

“Yes, pretty girl?”

”i Love you too.”

Previous Chapter | Instagram AU

Tags: @ltristessedureratoujours @davinashifts333 @tomholland792

[halfbloodprill]

Hiiiii !! I have a req :)) sooo loser virgin bsf Luke x fem reader smut ^^ luke is also horribly in love w her but won’t confess cuz he’s nerdy 😍 but we know he does anyways with the way he acts to us, and how flustered he can get from small things — like if ur shorts ride up a little too much and he can see ur thighs or literally even just when ur knees touch

authors note- omfg. i love this. i hope you don’t mind i took this in a very subby and needy luke way. if u want it written another way submit again and i can redo it for u. this was so fun thank u! sorry for the long wait 😣 enjoy <3

best friend luke who gets so flustered from nothing. he swears he’s good at hiding the rising blushes and his sweaty palms when he’s with you but you see right through his lies. you have always noticed the longer than normal gazes or the way he hangs on every single word you utter. how his face gets so red from the smallest things. it was cute. it was so anxiety ridden and antsy of him. his nervous behavior was just normal in your friendship now. he had gotten bolder though. the way he shamelessly stared at your boobs when you wore those little tank tops that had him hyperventilating. or when your little sleep shorts would ride up and he saw every inch of your soft and plush thighs. and especially when you would stand up and he could see your ass and how it swayed so tantalizing with every step you took. it especially killed him when you two had a movie night and you were pushed against his chest, your boobs practically spilling out of your tank top and it took everything for him to not look directly down at them.

the contact was too much this night. your body was so warm against his. it didn’t help that now he knew how warm you were and he knew he would think of this the next time he was fisting his cock while he was moaning and whining your name. he could already feel his erection growing so he abruptly stood up.

“Uhm- i’m gonna get water. need anything?” he questions before he retreats. “Oh. No i’m okay lukey. make it quick, ‘kay?” you replied sweetly. he internally groans at the nickname you gave him. so sweet and innocent. if only you knew how filthy your best friend was. but of course you knew. you had a plan. he finally came back with a full cup of water. he settled back next to you and he could feel your hand start to slide down on his thigh.

“What- What are you doing?” he questioned in a breathy tone. already affected by your touch. “ I cant touch you? Thought we were friends lukey,” you said with a small pout. your lips were so kissable and your eyes were wide and so doe like. “N-No it’s fine. that’s okay,” he stuttered out. your hand began to travel to his inner thigh. he couldn’t hold back his whimpers anymore. “Can i make you feel good? i know you want this. wanna treat you so well baby,” you ask as you start to slide off of the couch and into your knees in front of him. He starts to whine at how perfect you look in front of him. “Fuck. Yes. please. never done this though,” he admits shyly.

“Aww that’s okay. i’m so glad i’m your first. you’re gonna remember me forever baby,” you say with a smile. you get into your knees and start to lean up at him for a kiss. he’s nervous at first. clearly also new at kissing. your sucking his tongue and prodding into his mouth. your teeth are clashing and he’s letting out the cutest whimpers ever. “Please- Please make me feel good. I’m so horny for you. been horny for you forever. please,” he pleaded with you. his eyes are so watery and his face is so red from how good he feels already. you can’t help but laugh at his state. you stop teasing him and begin to leave a wake of kisses from the base to his tip. his hips are squirming off of the couch and you have to use your hand to push his hips back into the couch while the other hand is rested on his thigh. you begin to engulf his length with your mouth, staring up at him through your lashes. you see him straining to hold back. your mouth is so tight and warm and so foreign to him. he’s never felt this way before. he’s straining and panting. he’s letting out deep breaths. his face is flushed from his effort to not cum yet and there are droplets of sweat evident in his forehead that his hair is sticking to.

“Cant! Cant, Cant. feels so good. your mouth is so good. please don’t stop,” he’s whining with his head thrown back in pleasure. you giggle at his reaction. your tongue is teasing his slit and his eyes go cross at the sheer amount of pleasure. just to tease him, you let your teeth scrape him and he lets out a low groan from the sensation.

“Oh fuck feels so good. So warm for me,” he’s whimpering. he feels so good tears are brimming in his eyes and threatening to spill. you keep sucking and attacking his sensitive slit until his hips are bucking into your mouth and you feel his cum hit the back of your throat.

He’s groaning as he comes down from his high. His body is twitching and is feverish to the touch but you aren’t done yet. You start to straddle him and his tip is at your entrance before he realizes.

“Wait! Please it’ll be too much. Cant take it anymore,” he’s sniffling.

“Yes you can. and you will,” you reply with a devilish smirk. At that, you lower yourself and feel the stretch of his cock. His head is thrown back again and his eyes are crossed, his drool about to spill from the corner of his mouth. He looks so perfectly fucked out.

“Wait- Feels so warm. So tight. You’re so velvety inside, maam. Feels so good,” he says mindlessly before he starts to buck up into your cunt. His hips are moving faster now, chasing his urge to finish. His tip is pounding your cervix. He’s moaning and stuttering at every sensation of you clenching around him. You’re lost too. Your hands are groping your tits, hair wild around your head, and sweat glistening your body. you forcefully grab his jaw and make him kiss you as you sloppily make out with him. there is spit running out of your mouths and onto his chest. it’s sticky and messy between you too.

He pulls back with a moan. “Fu-Fuck. Gonna cum.Please say I can cum. PleasePleasePlease,” he chants while his hips are still vigorously fucking you, not letting up his pace.

“Go ahead baby. Cum for me,” and at your words he paints your gummy walls white. But you’re not done. You still need to teeter off that edge. You’re still riding him while he’s lying limp on the couch. He’s trying to regain himself but the overstimulation is too much.

“Stop Stop Stop. too much. too far. Ca-Cant take it. M too sensitive,” he says before you finally crash over, finishing with a a loud moan.

“Good boy.”

[cheatsykoopa98]

1 AM ramble but someone just pointed out to me you can see zooble's room in their pin wrapping background

not only do we get to see what their room looks like, we also get an official look of the zooble box, and a mirror for them to look at themself. now I think this might be important. pomni had a scene in ep 1 where she looks at the mirror in disbelief that she looks like that now, and we know zooble changes their parts every day. I think caine did that to "help" zooble with figuring out their gender identity, which maybe or not be helping, considering what I hear of people experiencing gender dysphoria not liking to see themselves in the mirror.

and I do think the mirror is important, we get to see a little bit of the others' bedrooms as well, kaufmo, ragatha and gangle's, and none of them have mirrors from what I can see. maybe caine noticed pomni looking in the mirror and thought pomni might want one in her room just like zooble, not realizing pomni probably hates to look in the mirror and not see herself

also lets look at the other characters bedrooms

ragatha seems to be very tidy (assuming everyone has to clean up their rooms and considering how messy pomni's room is) and not have that much stuff. a box of toys that she might or not play with considering its positioned as a seat for the piano. we dont know if she knows how to play (according to goose she knows the cello, so she could know the piano as well) and having so little fingers in her hand might actually not let her play the piano properly. caine could have just heard she likes music and put a piano in her room. also notice the piano is in the middle of the room taking center stage and we cant see a bed (yet). ragatha has mentioned nobody needs to sleep even though they can. do you think she (tries to) play the piano at night while everyone else assumedly sleeps? there is a song sheet at the piano but I cant read if it has an actual song name written on it.

also she has a shelf full of things that might be of her interest or template things caine put there. like balls of yarn, books, a gloink (how did she have a gloink before ep 1?) and a framed picture, which if it has an actual photo of someone there could open up a lot of theories to who is there. also the gloink being there points to either ragatha having already lived through a gloink adventure and keeping one in her room or keeping one after an adventure where she was hurt by kaufmo and abandoned by pomni. why would she want to keep it if thats the case?

gangle's room is very dark with black walls. we cant see much but I believe she is in a really deeper depression than pomni. I believe to the point where she doesnt have the energy to try to escape, just mask as much as she can before her happy mask is broken again, poor gangle :/

we dont get to see kinger or jax's room, even though I think there is a kinger door in the corridor. maybe kinger is too paranoid to sleep in his room. jax's only shows his door with the void breaking into view. maybe we wont get to see his room until the very end. also I remember there was a theory jax knows where the exit is, but doesnt leave. I dont think its true considering goose said jax deserves to be stuck in the circus, implying he cant leave just like everyone, but since he "has keys to everywhere", what if he has been to the void without caine knowing? pomni never made it through the end but if jax did, maybe what he saw there pushed him to be how he is now. maybe he doesnt see hope in escaping and thats why he turns into such a bad person, he could be a nihilist in that way

anyway sorry for the long post, I just had a bunch of ideas popping up in my head from this little detail I should have noticed when pomni's pin was released

not only do we get to see her room but we also see the blocks spelling CBA, not sure if the B is supposed to count or not but its the second time pomni is associated with C&A, I do believe she was an employee there

[saraakpotter]

y\n babysitting Loki and Thor for 4 mins

y\c\n=your character name. your the actress and fans made this. (this is a start for a series and its not always the same story)

y\n was tiered. she just came home from filming y\m\m\n (your marvel movie name) she played y\c\n. she was Loki and Thor s sister and also the goddess of life. she quickly changed to her comfy clothes and opened her phone while eating the food she had cooked before leaving. Tom (Hiddelston) had send her a video ''y\c\n babysitting Thor and Loki for 4 full mins''.

y\n laughed at the title before clicking on the video. the intro came in that included some pictures of marvel movies and the name of the video then it started. the first was for Thor Ragnarok, it was the scene were doctor strange was talking about were Odin was.

"so earth has wizards now?" Thor said

y\n rolled her eyes: "just tell us were our father is!"

then it was time for him to bring back Loki.

strange opened a portal to were Odin was standing and Thor was about to go in "wait!" y\n said before he can go in   "something wrong?" asked Thor

"what do you think?" she turned her look to strange "Loki?"

"oh yes!" he opened a portal in which Loki fell from.

"I HAVE BEEN FALLING, FOR 30 MINS!" Loki shouts angry then pulls out his daggers. he wants to go forward when y\n uses her magic to make the daggers disappear Loki look at her confused."nope! not now." she says before Loki looks at strange with a threatening look.

"ummm.....bye!" strange says before pushing them into the portal.

The next video starts. its for (y\m\m\n:1). y\n remembers Thor s line! it was something humiliating for Loki. exactly then Loki made an innocent look at y\c\n but then she said "no Loki, no you cant stab Thor. again!"

"oh come on! he deserves it!" he says annoyed

"NO!"

he rolls his eyes.

the next videos were also from y\m\m\n. in this scene y\c\n was going to shield to check some files while leaving Thor and Loki alone.

"ok so i will be leaving for 2 hours! in that paper is everything you should not do" you said putting your cote on

"this just says 'no' you sure its correct?" Thor asks confused

"yeah i just wanted to stop you from making any possible mess."

in the next one y\c\n was reading a shield file when Thor and Loki come to her

"y\c\n i was thinking......" Thor starts

"no" she says not looking up

" you did not even listened!" Loki says

"i have seen your planes before, i dont need to hear this one!"

"but...." Thor tries to continue

"no"

"y\c\n....." Loki retries

"NO!"

the next one was also in Ragnarok. it was when Y\C\N and Thor were ,meeting Valkery.

" you know i wanted to be a valkery when i was younger!" Thor starts " but then i got older and found out they were only women s and.....i mean no...not that i have problem with women i love them! sometimes to much i just....."

"Thor.....shut up!" y\c\n says rolling her eyes.

"ok"

the next one was in the first parts of the movie. Thor was yelling at Loki " how could you? i thought you were dead! we mourned for you!" then he turns to y\c\n "can you believe him?"

"yes of course! he never dies!" you rolled your eyes at Thor s confused face

the next one was for 'Loki s1':

"wait so there are other versions of my brothers?" y\c\n asked mobius

"yes there is!" he answered

" oh no.....to of them are bad enough!"

the last  two ones were for for y\m\m\n: 2

in this one Loki hurt himself trying to protect some important object and y\c\n was healing his wounds. when it finished, she looked up and he smiled at her but she slapped him and then hugged him.

the last video was Thor snapping at Loki for something he did and ended lit by looking at y\c\n.

" i agree with Thor, we trusted you! how could you?" she shouted at Loki but before he could answer she turned to Thor and slapped him twice in the face "and....im the only one who can shout or hurt any of you! got it?'' they both nodded confused.

" now we will continue this later. we are in the middle of the road!"

the video ended with a 'thanks for watching'

y\n could not stop laughing and it got worse when she saw Toms text: i still think i didnt deserved the slap.

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2024 Day 15

One Year after AOTD

Back with more Kloktober posting!

It’s been over a year since AOTD came out and I like to believe things got better for the boys after they helped saving the world, so…here’s something about that. 🌟

“Just ones more! Just ones!” Toki insisted with a smile.

“Dats what you said de last times.” Skwisgaar feigned exasperation, but he looked just as happy. 

“This time ams forreals.” Toki bit his bottom lip, glancing at Skwisgaar’s mouth. “Ams promise.”

Skwisgaar wrapped a hand around Toki’s waist, bringing him closer. “Dats so?”

Toki nodded, but he also probably would’ve nodded at anything by this point. 

“Comes here.” Skwisgaar whispered and they smooched each other loudly. 

“Wowee…” Toki was left in a daze once they broke it off. “Okays, just ones more!”

Skwisgaar cackled, lovingly looking into Toki’s eyes. “I thoughts you hads promiseds.”

Pursing his lips, Toki gave Skwisgaar a wet puppy look. “Buts…”

“Buts nothing you littol trickers…”

“Oh, Skwisgaar!” Tok whined, his expression turning miserable at once. He turned away, sadly. “You ams so means…”

“Eugh, I ams means?” Skwisgaar chuckled.

“Ja…” Toki was completely brat mode, pouting and frowning. “You ams means and donts lets Toki be happies…”

“I donts-” Skwisgaar repressed a laugh, though when Toki didn’t react, he grabbed him by the chin and turned his face towards him. “Heys, heys…”

Toki refused to meet his gaze. “Means Skwisgaar.” He mumbled.

“Comes on…” Skwisgaar was trying his best not to smile, failing considerably. “Tokes, looks at me…” When Toki finally did, Skwisgaar let out a soft chuckle. “Donts be sads…” Then, he leaned in and-

“Ye guys know we’re still here, right?” Pickles interrupted in disbelief., sitting several feet away from them on the couch. They were in the movie room.

With puckered lips, Skwisgaar and Toki turned to their bandmates. While Toki seemed mostly confused, Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow at them. “Ja, so?” To emphasize his indifference, he put an arm around Toki’s shoulder. 

“Well, don’t do that in front of usch!” Murderface complained.

“And why the fucks not?” Far from the spoiled attitude from earlier, Toki had switched to full aggressive mode. “You guys can do whatever you wants too!”

“Yeah, but…” Nathan intervened, visibly feeling awkward. “You guys are being so…r…romantic…” He said, like the word was hard to pronounce. 

“Nethans, you weres all over the Trinity girls back dens!” Skwisgaar said, grimacing. “Makings us witness yous slobber, eugh, disgustingks…” He shook his head in disgust. 

“Uh, her name was Trindle-”

“That’s what ye two are doin’ now!” Pickles pointed an accusatory finger. 

“Oh, whats? I didnts know I was cheatings on Skwisgaar and tryings to explodes him and kills mine self!” 

“Heugheugh, so you ams the hypers fans whats cants helps but wants more of mes?” Skwisgaar asked Toki, already over the discussion.

Toki smiled innocently, batting his eyelashes at Skwisgaar. “Wells, you knows…”

They started whispering sweet nothings to each other again, like the other 3 weren’t watching the whole exchange. 

“Ye know what, just play the next movie.” Pickles rolled his eyes.

Nathan grabbed the remote control, browsing through the Dethflix catalogue. “Uh, Whiplash?”

“Looks Skwisgaar!” Toki turned to the screen. “It ams dat ones roms and coms!”

“Whet?” Pickles squinted at the couple. “Dats nots-“

“Euh, I remembers dat!”

“Well, I don’t wanna watsch no schtupid romansche movie!” 

“It’s not a-”

“Yeah, we have enough of that right here.”

“Whats ams dat supposeds to means?”

“It’s not about t’at at all!” Pickles took the remote from Nathan and pressed the play button. “Just shaht up and watch it!” 

He felt proud when the whole band settled in quietly and watched the screen. Well, not for long because Skwisgaar and Toki resumed their chattering soon enough. Clicking his tongue, Pickles glanced at his phone to see the time, though the date distracted him. Why did it feel oddly familiar? 

Oh.

Pickles rested his back against the couch, overwhelmed by the sudden memory. A year ago they saved the world, almost losing their lives in the process. A year ago they survived the Metalocalypse while millions perished. A year ago their fans came to their rescue and, together, they could defeat Salacia. 

Somehow, it felt like an entire lifetime had gone ever since and Pickles would like very much for it to stay that way. He didn’t miss feeling responsible for everyone or having to fight constant panic attacks because the end of the world was coming. He just wanted to be Pickles.

It did have consequences on them, however. Nathan was definitely more considerate now and Murderface was opening up more rather than being defensive all the time. And Skwisgaar and Toki…well, whatever that was. 

In all seriousness, Pickles didn’t know what was weirder, that they defeated a gigantic whale that wanted to bring doom to Earth or that Toki and Skwisgaar were all over each other like a couple of teenagers experiencing love for the first time. He would’ve never imagined there would be a future where he’d miss their stupid fights. Well, they still argued, but it wasn’t the same knowing the reconciliation would have them sloppily making out on the kitchen’s counter or something equally off-putting.

Himself? He was fine. He still liked to do drugs and get drunk, they just weren’t his primary reason to live anymore. And that was a good thing, probably. 

“Murderface, don’t keep all the popcorn for yourself.” Nathan whispered, though it was loud enough that everyone heard it.

“I’m not!”

“Heys, I wants some popcorns too!” Toki complained, though he kept both arms wrapped around Skwisgaar. 

“Heugheugh,I gots some pops corns for yous down heres…” Skwisgaar offered.

There was some rustling and Toki gasped. “Haha! It really ams corns shapes!”

“And it shores ams gonna pops, heugh-”

They all groaned and Nathan took the remote back, turning up the volume and filling the atmosphere with the sound of drums. “Just try not to fuck while we’re in the room, okay?” He yelled over the racket.

“Whats?!” The guitarists asked in unison, their hands on their ears.

“I said don’t fuck in the room!”

Toki and Skwisgaar looked at each other, then back at Nathan. “Whats?!”

“I said-” Nathan was about to yell again but he changed his mind mid-sentence. “Nevermind.” Pickles snorted and Nathan turned towards him. “What?”

“Nothin’.” Pickles shook his head, trying to pay attention to the movie. 

He had a far more important reason to live now. 

[spreadlove-always]

Angel Baby Chapter 1

Idamae is a shy 23 year old girl who just finished college for the summer. She's planned to work for her mother all summer, until her Aunt Louise calls needing help running her motel down in Georgia. That's where she meets Joel. Tension builds and gentle touches and deep desires escalate, and someone must make the first move. She knows it's wrong, god he's double her age, but she just can't keep her eyes and mind off him, and he cant either. Who will give in first..... Word Count: 3.3k

You’re just to good to be true Can’t take my eyes off you You’d be like Heavan to touch I wanna hold you so much

Chapter 1

May 28th, the day I leave to spend the summer in Georgia with my aunt Louise. Louise just lost her husband Charles in a motorcycle accident, devastating really. Well except for the fact that he was a true and utter asshole. My aunts’ bruises and scars could prove that.

After the accident, Aunt Louise inherited all his money, and his motel that he ran just outside town. He used to tell the story how this motel was a piece of his family history, which is why he never updated anything. Which is probably why he never had as many customers as he could have. However, as soon as Louise got the keys she saw an opportunity, an opportunity to finally have something in her name. So, the used to be run down motel, has now got an upgrade dragging in more business, and because of this she needs help running it.

My mother asked me shy of two weeks ago if instead of working for her all summer, if I would be willing to go help Aunt Louise. This would have been fine, if It had been something I got to decide, but it was not. My mother’s way of “asking” is much more of a statement, and I mean realistically as long as I’m making money I can’t be to mad, my last year of college isn’t going to pay for itself.

So here I am, bags packed, my room empty, and the only sign I was ever here is the stickers still stuck to my wall that I must have put up when I was 12.

“Idamae, time to go Hun” mother shouts from downstairs, she’s my ride to the airport. Halifax to Georgia, not a short trip, at least not for me as someone who has only been on a plane one other time.

The way to the airport is full of my mother in near tears over me going away, as if I won’t be back for ten years, meanwhile its only three months. But I am her one and only, and with dad having left when I was seven, shell be alone in the house. But again, this was all her idea.

“Mom, I promise I will call you when I get there, and call you before bed, okay I promise” I give her a quick hug then rush to get to the security line, and from there my journey begins.

Once the plane lands, all I can think about is stretching my legs, and using the washroom, still being to scared to use the one on the plane. Once I get my luggage, I go down the escalatory searching for my aunt who should be waiting for me. sure enough there is Aunt Louise in a beautiful flowy yellow dress. She has always been the one to look put together no matter what, hair is always done, nails always perfect, she has that southern charm.

“oh Idamae! Look at what a beautiful young lady you have become” she squeezes me tight to her. Her scent being familiar, feels like home.

“its great to see you auntie” I mumble to her as she holds me in her arms, maybe a little to long.

She leans back, looking at my face, “what a doll!” she says smiling and grabs my other bag and begins walking “follow me this way, we’ve got quite the drive.” And that we do, I fall asleep an hour in.

I wake up to the slam of the driver door, I let my eyes adjust to the sun set beaming into the windshield of the truck.

Peering out my window I find a small yellow house, with a wrap around porch, and an American flag swaying in the subtle breeze, almost exactly as I remember it from the last time I visited, which was about 10 years ago. But aunt Louise has made it her own, daisies fill the front garden and rose pushes line the gravel drive.

Stepping out of the truck I hear my aunt open the trunk taking my bags and suitcases out.

“Love what you did with the place” I say turning to help her.

“Thank you, wanted to make it my own, you know after everything” she doesn’t have to specify what she means, I know she means because her shit husband died, finally allowing her freedom.

We step on the porch and it creeks under our feet, swing the front door open and the smell of fresh bread, and fresh flowers fills the air.

“I made fresh bread before picking you up, thought it would be nice to have with breakfast tomorrow” I thank her, and she tells me to get comfortable well she makes me tea and a snack. So, I wonder, through the living room, upstairs, find my room which is painted a light periwinkle blue, white sheer curtain, and bedding with small blue flowers.

Within the next few hours I have settled in, showered, put all my clothes in the dresser and closet. And after a delicious dinner curtesy of Aunt Louise, I find myself sitting on the porch, looking out.

This is my new life, well for the time being. So, I finish my tea and rush up to bed.

The next day we head to the motel, aunt says she tries to be there no later then 8 am every day, that way if anyone needs anything right as they wake shell be there. I can tell she prides herself in helping and being a good host. A quality I hope I pick up.

The day starts out slow, a few truckers checked out, some checked in. but for the most part, its slow. I sit in the office behind the desk, the radio on, windows open to allow a slight breeze in. But nothing, no one comes, no one goes. Well, that is until noon. Around noon about ten rooms become occupied, and after some slight chit chat with the customers I find its because on Saturdays a live band plays at the bar in the town about fifteen minutes away. And for people around here, that’s about as exciting as it gets. So, they all try to get as close as they can to town, which luckily for my aunt is her motel.

Rain or Shine Motel

It was once called Angel motel, that was before Charles died, my mom told me Louise always said it attracted the wrong thing, and she was probably right.

Around one, aunt peaks her head out from the back office where she is doing paperwork and paying bills for this place.

“you hungry” I’m glad she asked, because honestly, I have been thinking bout food the past hour and a half.

“I could eat” I shrug, not wanting to seem like my stomach wasn’t hurting from hunger.

“Well, I still have a lot to get done, there’s a lot Charles never did, which now is on me” she sighs, a crease forms between her brows.

“Hey, why don’t you take the truck into town, grab some food, maybe take a look around. Just be back before 5. Oh, and bring me back something to snack on” I nod and stand up grabbing her keys, she tells me the towns just down the road and she’s right.

It takes almost exactly fifteen minutes to get to town, the town everyone is so excited about specifically today.

Sweetwater Bend

Population probably no more then maybe 3 thousand, the town almost ends before it even begins. There are very few buildings, a grocery store, gas station, dinner, and a dive bar called Johnny's. A small town, but yet cars line the road, people walk by, and it warm, cozy.

I pull to the side, just out front the diner, people walk out with ice cream cones and laugh as they walk down the street.

The door chimes as I walk in, and I swear everyone is looking at me. Maybe they can just sense I’m not from around here, maybe they hate that I’m in their diner.

“Hey sugar, have a seat anywhere someone will come by in a sec” a sweet older woman says as she walks by carrying dirty plates, and heads back into the kitchen.

I give a simple nod and find a seat in the back corner.

The place is cute, red leather booths, black and white checkered floors, a jukebox in the corner playing a quiet hum of a song I’ve never heard.

“sorry about the wait, its our busiest day, what can I get for you. We got apple pie on special today” the older lady says pulling out a note pad from her apron, and a pen from behind her ear.

I curse to myself, why did I not at least think to look at the menu that’s right in the center of the table.

“Oh umm, maybe ill just get the pie for now” I stumble over my words, feeling nervous, feeling like a stranger.

“alright, anything to drink?” she eyes me, and I eye her, my cheeks getting warm, and she notices my hesitation.

“You aint from around here, are ya?” she asks and damn does that make my nerves even worse. 

“Hm that obvious?” I look down smiling.

“don’t worry about it sweet pea, how bout this, ill get you what’s a staple here, and save you the trouble of guessing, sound good?” You feel beyond grateful for the gesture.

So, there you are eating a burger, fries, and washing it down with coke in a glass bottle.

“You like?” the waiter leans on the booth smiling down at you. And you cannot lie, that’s probably one of the best burgers you’ve ever had.

“delicious seriously, like wow” she chuckles, grabbing your empty plate.

“so, where you from?” curiosity clearly piquing her interest.

“Oh I’m from Nova scotia, Halifax to be exact” I take a sip of my coke.

“what brings you down here then?” she asks tilting her head.

“My aunt, she owns the motel just outside this town, needed help running it. Here for the summer until it calms down” I take another swig of my coke before finishing it and taking out my wallet.

“How much?” I ask taking out some bills waiting for her response.

“On the house, first time guest special” she winks. She’s definitely a mother you think, and she reminds you of yours, the warm mannerisms.

“Ya know what, I’ve got a daughter bout your age, what are ya 23? Anyways, she’s just got back from college and is dying to have a friend to do stuff with. Why don’t you come to Johnny's tonight and ill interduce ya?” Oh, thank god, you think. She is seriously saving you the time of finding someone and having to make friends on your own. And plus, everyone’s bragging about this band performing, so might as well go see them.

“Okay ya sure, umm when should I be there?” she tells me nine thirty and walks off with a smile.

Maybe this little town won’t be as bad as I thought.

By the time I get back to the motel its four thirty, and the parking lot is packed.

“wow its really filled up” I state walking to find aunt on the phone at the front. She smiles and motions for me to come over to her.

She hangs up the phone and looks at you and asks how town was.

“small, not much to see. Did talk to a waiter at the diner though invited me to Johnny's wants me to meet her daughter” I snicker because its funny, I mean how bold of a mother to do, if that was my mom id be beyond embarrassed but as me, I am grateful.

“Oh wonderful! I would join you, but after this I think it will be my time to go have a bath and lay around” she’s right about that, she looks tired, and I don’t blame her, she doesn’t have cleaners, yet so she truly does everything. Of course, now hopefully I can help her, and make it a little easier.

As the sun sets, and its almost my time to head to Johnny's,  I rustle through my clothes, trying to figure out what to wear. I backed all my clothes and yet I feel like I have nothing, and I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.

I call Aunt Louise up to ask her, and she giggles. “Hun whatever you wear will be fine. But what about this?” she points at an off white loose dress I have laid out on the bed. I look at it, its cute and she would know more then mean when it comes to this place.

So that is what I wear, I pair it with some dark red cowboy boots, that my mother gave me, they were hers when she was around my age. My hairs down, and I’m wearing a gold cross necklace. I’m not religious but, my dad gave it to me before he ya know, decided being a father wasn’t for him.

Aunt  Louise lets me borrow her truck, and although its old, she reassures me that its safe and won’t break down while I’m driving especially not at night.

When I get to Johnny's its packed, people are dancing, the smell of whiskey and smoke is in the air. People are playing pool, some just people watching, while others are laughing with the person next to them.

God, do I feel out of place. The walls are lined with old signs, some license plates, and some LED signs. I take a deep breath and walk through the people, mumbling sorry and excuse me as I make my way to a table at the back. I want to keep an eye to see if I can spot that waiter.

Sure, enough in no time I spot her, and she spots me with that sweet smile, and drags her daughter of to me. Her daughter is beautiful I think to myself, she’s got southern charm that’s for sure, just like my aunt.

She extends her hand, “nice to meet you I’m Matilda” I shake her hand. “Idamae, its nice to meet you” she gives me a stiff smile and then her mom chimes in to say shell leave us to chit chat.

As soon as she’s out of sight, Matilda exhales a breath, “Thank god, sorry, but when I’m here I have to be so proper especially around my mom” she slouches in the seat next to me and I laugh.

“so, Idamae, what brings you to this nothing of a town? You lost? Or are you running from something?” she squints her eyes at me.

 I laugh.

“Actually, none of the above. My aunt owns Rain or Shine Motel just down the road, and she needed help this summer so I’m here helping her” she nods her head and looks out into the crowed eyeing everyone.

“wanna drink?” I’m happy she asked, because I must say my nerves are killer and the thought of a drink would be fantastic.

“Yes definitely” she smiles wide, but its almost mischievous.

“I know I’m twenty three, but my mom hates when I drink” she roles her eyes at that.

“So why don’t you grab us drinks and ill stay right here, surprise me, just get me what you want” I nod at that, and stand. Looking for the bar and find it on the other end, I wedge myself between two chairs, waiting for the bartender to serve me.

The chair to my right is occupied while the one to my left is empty, and while I contemplate sitting there, I change my mind as it looks to high and the last thing, I need is to struggle to get up. Its truly a curse being short.

Quickly enough the bartender comes over “what can I get ya” You say the first thing that comes to mind, the only thing you can remember you like back home.

“a martini” the bartender laughs at that, and so does the person next to me.

“Wrong place for that, gotta pick something else, and make it quick”

 I stumble in my head trying to think, but its as if I’ve never drank alcohol in my life and every name of everything is gone.

That’s when a deep voice speaks up beside me.

“Just give her a corona dale”

 I quickly say make it two and look over to the man next to me.

“Thanks for that, my brain completely blanked” he smiles, a sweet, charming smile. And I know, I mean I can tell he’s much older than me, by at least 15 year, but he’s handsome like beyond handsome.

“My pleasure” he tips his glass to me and then faces forward again.

My eyes are fixed on the side of his face, his stubble, the mustache that sit perfectly on his upper lip, and his brown eyes.

“Anyone tell you staring is rude? Or they don’t teach you that in the big city?” he says and doesn’t turn to me at all.

I’m caught and embarrassed, but thankfully the bartender comes back with two coronas, I place cash on the table and turn to walk away but before I go, I mumble a quiet “sorry about that” to mystery man next to me.

When I get back to the table, Matilda is on her phone, or trying to at least, but it seems that the signal sucks.

“Ugh can you believe this, you’d think they’d have found out how to get better service over here” she’s funny, you can tell definitely not interested in being here in this town, probably not even this dive bar.

I hand her a corona and her eyes light up, “oh thank god” she says and grabs it taking a big gulp.

The next thirty minutes are her talking about her boyfriend back at college named Cole and how she misses him, and this and that.

My eye wonder as she goes on, and I know it’s rude, but I mean she’s been away from him for two days, that’s it, how badly can she miss him.

My eyes spot him. The man from before. Now leaned against the wall watching the band play, beer in one hand while his other one is in his pocket. I watch as he brings the beer to his lips, and then his eyes spot mine. And I swear I see him smirk.

I snap my eyes back to Matilda, acting as if I’ve been listening this whole time.

“And the sex I mean the sex is incredible, I’m telling you he knows exactly what to do ya know, don’t you just love when they know and you don’t have to tell them or guide them” I nod along with her because she’s right, however that has never happened to me, I’ve always had to tell guys how to help me finish. She must see it, the hesitant nod in my face because she squeaks out a “Oh my god!” she leans close.

“has a guy never made you finish?” my cheeks redden, and I dart my eyes away.

“Ugh that is so fucked up I am so-“ she’s cut off by a deep voice from behind me, so close I can feel the heat from their body.

“What’s fucked up M?” I snap my head to see who it is and its him.

“Uncle Joel! I didn’t know you were back” Matilda jumps up from her seat and rushes over to give him a hug.

“Only back for the summer, until my house is done” his eyes flick to me.

“oh, sorry this is Idamae” He gives you a smirk and nod.

“Well, I don’t want to interrupt this girls night, ill see you soon M, and I’m sure ill be seeing you around Idamae” he winks and walks away and out of the bar.

And there they are, the butterflies in my stomach.

The next day is Sunday, and Louise wakes me up early to go to Sunday church. Something I have never done, but she insists it will be a way for me to make friends. So, I get up and put on my boots, and a white flowy dress.

Aunt Louise of course looks spectacular, hair done, make up done and a beautiful dress.

The church is small, and there is no AC, and truly it sits in the middle of what feels like nowhere. But yet everyone’s here backed into the benches and listening to who I have just found out is Father Connor.

I could lie and say I was listening and taking in every word, but I’m not. I’m thinking about how its hot, and how I can feel sweat begin to bead on my forehead.

I turn to my aunt and excuse myself; I need to get out before I pass out.

On my way out I spot Matilda’s uncle Joel, right by the door, leaning against the wall, looking just as uninterested as I did. We make eye contact but I divert my eyes right away and push the door open leaving the church.

The fresh air hits my face, and the light breeze pushes my hair past my shoulder. And suddenly I hear footsteps from behind me.

“Sneaking away already?”

There's that voice, the one from the bar.

Joel.

I turn to face him, “Maybe, I don’t know how you all do it, it’s a sauna in there” my face is hot, and I cant tell if its from him, or the heat.

“a yes, that it is” he walks past me down the front steps and pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his flannel pocket. Places it between his lips and lights it, then turns back to me.

“You coming?” I look at him confused but follow anyways.

He leads me just around the corner, to a old red ford truck.

He turns and leans against the driver’s door smoking his cigarette, and I swear this feels like a more holy experience then sitting in the church just feet away.

“So, you gonna tell me where you’re from?” he asks, licking his lips and takes another puff.

“Oh, umm I’m from Nova Scotia, just helping my aunt for the summer” I rock back on my heels, my arms crossed, looking everywhere but him.

“I see, so you enjoying yourself?” my face turns to him, “What?”

He laughs, oh Christ that laugh.

“I mean are you enjoying being down here” I blush looking down.

“Its okay, have only been here for 2 days” he hums at that.

I keep looking around, trying to pretend the silence, and his eyes on me aren’t burning my skin, more then the sun.

I hear his feet move against the gravel and look at him again.

“You aint a church girl, are ya?” I shake my head.

“What about you?”

“No, but my brother invited me, so here I am” I nod my head.

“Ya know you’re a shy little thing, more shy then when you were checking me out last night.”

My head snaps to look at him, arms uncrossing as he smiling at me his arms still crossed.

“I was not checking you out, I was just I mean I was just thinking” I stumble over my words. God could I be anymore stupid.

“Oh ya?” he pushes off from his truck, throws his cigarette on the ground and walks closer to me.

“And what is a girl like you thinking about when she looks at me?” I look up at him, through my eyelashes, and my mouth open a tad. Him this close I can smell his cologne, its nice, warm.

You. How badly I want to feel your big hands on me.

But I can’t say that.

I swallow hard, “Oh ya know, just I don’t know probably about the weather?”

God if I could run myself over right now I would.

“The weather right” he smirks down at you. I hadn’t realized how tall he was until now.

I mean I’m only five foot two, so it doesn’t take much to be taller then me.

Joel turns to his truck opens the door then turns his head to me “see you around little dove” he winks hoping in his truck, and ignites the engine, and drives away.

Almost on que people start exiting the church. Loud chatting starts.

“There you are I thought you disappeared” Aunt Louise says from behind me.

I turn around to face her,

 “Oh no sorry, just got to hot in there, and felt a little claustrophobic, sorry bout that”

She wraps an arm around me, “no worries sweet pea.”

Next, she introduces me to many of her friends, and father Connor, who says he is “pleased to have me join the church.”

Luckily twenty minutes in I hear Matilda.

“Oh Idamae! I didn’t know you’d be here!” She pulls me in for a hug as if we’ve known each other for ever.

“Wanna come back to mine for a bit? I could totally use some girl time” she roles her eyes and looks over to her mom, who’s with a bunch of young boys, who are play fighting. I assume they are her brothers.

“Okay ya, just let me let my aunt know”

Aunt Louise has no problem with me going, in fact she once again lets me take her truck. Hers is like Joels, just not as nice.

Matilda spends the 30 minute car ride back to her house telling me how she finally got a hold of Cole, and how they had phone sex.

I have to admire her boldness, I really do.

“oh, just turn here” I turn onto a dirt road, and I can barely see the end. But as I continue down it, her house comes into frame. Its a decent sized blue farmhouse, two floors, wrap around porch, and a beautiful garden growing what looks  like every vegetable you could think of.

I park the car and hop out with her.

“You mind if we go sit in the back? Don’t really wanna be around my little brothers right now” I just nod my head and follow her.

That is until I see a red truck parked on the side of her house, same one as earlier.

“Your uncle lives here?” she turns her head to peak at me but keeps walking.

“oh Joel? No he doesn’t he’s just been building us a shed the last few days, he’s only here for the summer, usually lives in Virginia but his house is getting a ton of new electrical and plumping so he’s staying at his old house down here” I just listen as I continue to follow her to the back, the sound of the radio playing.

As we turn the corner there, he is.

 Shirt off, carrying plywood to the end of the yard. Denim jeans hugging his hips, and tool belt sitting low on his hips. I watch as he places the wood against the fence and lifts his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

“like what you see?” Matilda bumps my arm laughing and walks up the patio steps. She turns the radio down.

“Hey Joel” she says plopping down on the white lawn chair.

His eyes turn to us, “uh its you too” one side of his mouth turns up.

“Hope you don’t mind if we hangout back here for a bit, the boys are being extra crazy today, don’t think I wanna subject little ole’ Idamae to that” Matilda pulls out her phone texting Cole what looks like a bunch of hearts and kissy faces.

I walk around the table to take a seat next to her, facing Joel.

His eyes stay on mine, and he smirks at me, I could be seeing things, I mean I really could be, but I swear his eyes rack over my body. Just the thought makes me shift in my seat.

Who am I kidding, an older man, who looks like that, would want nothing to do with me, he could have someone more mature and his age, maybe even someone like my aunt. But then again I would have to see him all the time then, and well I wouldn’t find that to be fair.

He clears his throat, “Matilda why don’t you go grab some lemonade for my and your friend will ya?”

She peaks her eyes away from her phone,

“really?”

He gives her a knowing look and she sighs before standing up and swinging the back door open and entering.

I’m left alone with him and my own shaking hands, and beating heart. God just being near him, even if its 20 feet makes me nervous.

I’m so lost in my own head I don’t notice that he has taken a seat next to me, that is until his knee brushes mine, and my skin comes alive.

His legs are spread, and he’s leaned back, his arm over the back of my chair.

And now all that is heard is the soft sound of the radio, which is playing some 50s music. Fitting I think, I mean this whole area and town screams 50s.

“You okay little dove, look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Dove

There's that name again.

If anyone else had called me that I would have cringed, probably politely asked them too not. But from him, with his deep smooth voice, there is nothing id ever want to be called except that.

I clear my throat.

“Oh, ya I’m fine, just tired ya know had an early morning.” He nods and leans forward until his elbows are on the table, and he turns the radio up a bit.

And as if the radio could read my mind, it plays Can’t Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli.

I smile looking down, and he must notice.

“What you know this song?”

“ya I do actually, most people do, I would think.”

He chuckles at that and leans back again, and I can feel his stare on the side of my cheek.

And then Matilda comes back out, lemonade in hand, and glass cups.

“Here ya both go” she says as she places the cups down and pours some into each.

He grabs his before mine, and takes a big gulp, and god I know I shouldn’t, but I watch. I watch how his adams apple moves as he swallows.

I shake my head quickly trying to snap myself out of it. And take a sip of the ice cold lemonade.

Matilda is back to sitting on her phone, giggling every once in a while, or smiling ear to ear, probably because of Cole.

Joel on the other hand, stays in his seat, arm on the back of my chair and looks out into the yard, while holding his glass.

“Well ladies, it was nice, but the shed isn’t gonna build itself” and as he goes to get up his fingers slide across the back of my neck.

He had to of done that on purpose right? I mean I didn’t just imagine that right? Or maybe I’m officially getting heat stroke and about to die.

But he acts so normal, he doesn’t look back to me, nothing. So, I decide to call it, I need to go back and see Aunt Leslie anyways, promised id help her pull weeds from her yard.

I shoot up out of my seat,” ya it was nice Matilda, but I forgot I’m supposed to help my aunt with something. But umm feel free to stop by anytime. I’m sure ill see you around” before she can say anything I’ve already rounded the corner and made it back to the truck.

The problem is that when I try to start it, it won’t. I try to start it about 15 more times, that is until there is a knock at my window.

Thanks for reading. More to come soon!

In the mean time enjoy this gif :)

[bookwormbynight]

bookworm-san, dear mutual. do you happen to have any more fem! light headcanons/thoughts? for healing, for the soul……… 😌

Darling. Gimme just a second to reread my posts on the AU and get my brain juices going again 🙏

(Also, fun fact: I do actually have my name in my lil bio bit lol! I don't think most people notice.)

Fem!Light during the Yotsuba Arc may have been more aggressive than canon Light about separating herself from a relationship with Misa, simply because it isn't assumed that "well, I'm the one who must have asked... I just can't figure out why" because that's not how her relationship dynamics work. She doesn't remember saying yes, she can't imagine why she would have said yes, Misa is clearly delusional and can fuck right off. Her aggression might be the only reason why Misa wouldn't white-knight his way into stopping the mutual lawlight murder attempt on their first "date" lmao. I can clearly imagine him trying to heroically interject and protect his girlfriend only for Light to shriek "fuck OFF Misa" so 'unfemininely' that it takes Misa a full fifteen minutes to reboot lmao.

This is me projecting because I'm a 100 pound girl with a-cups but I want Light to have small boobs (also canon Light has a flat ass anyway). Let me sexualize my body type for once, gimme that. Tiny lace bralettes, zero cleavage through a shirt neckline, barely a handful of titty and you can probably fit most of the boob in your mouth, but anybody who's interested in her either doesn't notice or actively likes it.

On a related note, average-ish height, like canon, so like 5'4 or 5'5, but small person. If that makes sense. I want people to be able to just pick her up with minimal effort because that means it would happen more often (I have friends who literally just throw me over their shoulders and walk away without asking me first) and she would fucking hate it and I think that's hilarious.

Flats-only girlie. Coward. Until L bullies her into heels for fetish purposes ONCE and Light has trouble walking and it makes her red-faced angry embarrassed which does NOT deter L in the slightest.

I think she'd wear her hair half-up half-down in a neat little clip in the back with bangs, it's very Professional and Pretty and intentionally chosen. She pigtail braids her hair at night Cinderella-style to keep it nice and L finds it annoying. The only time we would see it down in the canon timeline would be in solitary confinement, and the rain + foot scene and proceeding death scene (because that was immediately after).

For her death scene in particular, I think her hair would start up, as it usually is, but it would definitely have gone really askew and fallen out of the clip by the time she dies.

I really can't decide how exactly her relationship with Ryuk would change based on her perception of gender dynamics but I'm absolutely sure it would, whether or not we genderbend Ryuk as well. Idk, someone else help me flesh this one out bc it's all just a nebulous feeling in my head.

The daddy issues. Dude. The daddy issues would be so bad. Like, we already had "I desperately want my dad to think I live up to his expectations of me + dad is too busy with his job all the time to feel like a legit regular part of the family". Now imagine that combined with the fact that Soichiro just assumes Light has Woman Brain. "It's wonderful that you're top of your class and you're getting a degree, all capable women should go to college, but don't you think you should pick a less demanding career path so you won't have such a hard time having a family one day?? It's really sweet that you want to follow in my career path honey but I don't know if this job is good for girls like you". That scene with Namikawa would happen and L would praise her like canon and Soichiro's jaw would fucking drop. Ugh.

On a similar note I absolutely do not think Light would be able to stomach playing up the "I'm JUST a GIRL I CANT be KIRA 🥺🥺🥺" schtick even to draw some of the suspicion off of herself because canon Light already had such a hard time literally just not showing off and now add in fem! Light's inferiority complex. She would get so salty every single time people suggested it's not possible for her to be Kira ""even though I'm not"". The ONLY times she would be willing to play up the canon ditz act is when it makes her look a little careless, NEVER stupid.

[withersun-fanblog]

crow releasing their pov sent me back into the mindset of thinking about how their weapons are SO PROMINENT in parallel life so ramble time! smack me if i get any info wrong i need to rewatch parallel life i forgot some details abt it

so a little while back i rambled in tibby's inbox with an analysis of crow's sword, ghost slayer, and the 'broken hearts club' that was formed in ep 4. but while watching crow's pov today, i had a realization that somehow i never really noticed pitchfork was crow's weapon?? meaning that both of crow's main weapons have symbolism???? so im gonna yap about these two weapons now (mainly the axe)

pitchfork is the diamond axe that crow used to kill e in ep 3, and the same weapon that was used by e in ep 5. ghost slayer is the diamond sword that crow named after teaming with the polycule, which after her death was passed on to e, and eventually tibby.

the contrast between how ghost slayer is used and how pitchfork is used within the plot is wild. ghost slayer is more of an emotional attack for people like tibby and e: where it never actually killed anyone, but harmed them mentally as it got passed around after crow + ghost's deaths already affected people. pitchfork, however, was MUCH more of a harm as it was used for actual kills against e and middy. with ghost slayer comes mourning, and with pitchfork comes betrayal.

you can see me talk more about ghost slayer in the ask i sent a while back (may rewrite that in the future) but pitchfork is shaped around betrayal. crow took ghost killing her the second as a betrayal. she was betrayed, and wanted revenge. she kills e with pitchfork out of her anger from the betrayal but then teams with e and the polycule. however in ep 5, under ghostfoam's influence, e kills crow. another betrayal for crow. two of the people she'd put so much trust into despite knowing they weren't truly trustworthy. despite ghostfoam promising to kill her and "make the crow curse real". despite e having just teamed with ghostfoam, pretty much already betraying the polycule (besides crimson!) in the process. after crow's death, e gets the axe. replaces their own with it. and the next episode, uses the axe to kill middy. yet again, betrayal. it's like a hex on this axe.

i cant quite find a good word to label the symbolism of pitchfork itself but i also find it interesting the influence ghost and crow still have after they die. whether its them directly being a devil on someone's shoulder or just kind of. always having a piece of them being there since their weapons were used for so long. if i remember correctly, e was influenced mainly by ghostfoam, but also partially by crow to kill pickle and emerald with the portal trap. you can also see crow in chat every now and then during ep 4 & ep 5. of course ghostfoam leaves a big influence after/through his death, but we don't see crow's death directly influence much other than the polycule's trust of e (which was already pretty low for some polycule members...). crow is more of how i mentioned influence through the weapons. influence through the mental toll ghost slayer hit tibby with. influence through the axe that was used by the betrayed then being used to betray.

someone remind me to do a full analysis on parallel life crow because OH MY GODDDD todays crow episode changed my brain chemistry & my view on crow's parallel life character in general i NEED to talk about it more in the future

also sorry if this sounds a bit out of order or doesnt make sense i yapped too much and then changed the paragraph order and i cant tell if it sounds good still

[idkhoworwhytell]

Your Mind Can Be Your Own Enemy

TW: indirect  thoughts of past suicide  mentions of poison 

Getting lost in thoughts at the beginning? 

I did change the physical age to 17, 13 just wasn't working for what i had in mind. Mental age has not be clarified 

I still can't find myself to sleep. Im sitting down with my back facing a tree, if the person on watch (legend from what i've been made aware .) saw anything, nothing was said besides a slight glare as he made  his way to sit at a stump. Sometimes, I wonder how different things could've been for everything if i just stayed. Minding my business was a lesson I learned early, not could land you in some serious trouble. Things might have happened differently, but would I still have met the people   I have? Would I have the experience,  The ability and knowledge? Somethings i won't know until it happens, and that's something im going to have to get used to. Some days waking up was the thing i hated most, some days i thought about letting myself fall into enemy hands. See where that would land me. Nowhere that would lead me to where I am right now. I might be only physically 17, but again I was still mentally a lot older. It wouldn't be my luck to have past heroes land themselves in my world. Things that I would've never even thought that would be important to my journey have come up. Basically playing a game of chase for a near-sentient black lizalfos? Something I wouldn't expect to do with nine heroes where we supposedly share the same soul. These people are an oddball of people that had different circumstances and different experiences, some had blood relation. Others had stories passed on about the great hero. At some point in time, no matter the journey, the hero, or the timeline, they all are connected together in some way shape or form. From what I know about the timeline for the history books, there's one that is not even supposed to be a part of the timeline and yet he's here with them, playing the important role named captain. They all had each other.  I overheard a hushed conversation between the one named Wild and twilight.

 “‘But who would i be without it?’”

“‘Yourself.”

Something I wasn't supposed to hear  clearly. But, with a feeling of mine I had a sense they were talking about the sword. 

I couldn't help but remember my time with it, mixed feelings will be how i always feel. Sure she was helpful, sure I needed her to complete my journeys. But I can't help but feel she  changed me the day I met her. The past cant be undone. Neither can the present. But I'm willing to try and help change the future of these heroes.

—-------------------

Soon the morning would arrive  head full of thoughts. This was another day I'd have to spend getting these people in my good graces. Something that clearly wasn't going to be easy. 

After a sleepless night, and watching 3 shift rotations, nothing was said about it.  Minding their business was in good practice here it seems. Something I'm glad about.  Breakfast was almost done when Sky came up to me. He sat next to me, my back still up against a tree. He started by taking an apple from his pocket and peeling it with a paring knife. 

The skin started coming off with practiced ease. He finished his peeling when he made a cut down the middle, handing me half and a half for himself. It was clear to me he was making sure that I knew it wasn't poisoned when he made a small slice in his, making sure I saw him swallow it. Something I appreciated greatly. I slowly took mine and started snapping a piece off at a time.  It wasn't the sweetest, but it had a good twang  of sour to it.  It seemed he only continued to eat his after I took a bite of mine. Nothing was said until breakfast was about to be served. 

“ Here you'll need this, you're responsible for getting it too wild for storage.”

I was handed a bowl that looked to be made of maple, it had a couple little engraved swirls on the side, the walls of the bowl were high, and the bowl itself was a lot wider  than I would've expected for 10 heroes of a journey. I was sorta expecting for it to be like a small and skinny bowl with low walls , to make sure everyone had enough. Just in case I'm going to make sure I get some small portions, there's other people needing to eat too. 

“Thank you. I'll make sure I do, before it's time for food. There's a small lake not too far from here. Is there a chance everyone could wash up before we set out?”

I doubt this is  the person I should've asked about that kinda thing.

“You'll have to ask time, but I doubt he'll say no, some of us haven't bathed in over 2 weeks.” 

I could tell he looked even the tiniest embarrassed to say that. Eh, I wouldn't want to tell a stranger my hygiene habits either. 

“I will.” 

Nope, I'm finding a way for wind to do it. That kid seems to love the water  enough.  I may have the triforce of courage, but I do not have the triforce of talking to unknown authority figures.   

A little after that conversation breakfast was served it seemed to be reminiscent of an oatmeal parfait. Something meant to keep people full and sustained for a long time. 

I walked up to where wild was cooking. He went in the pot for a big scoop just like he gave the others. I waited to make sure I was either near the end of the line or the end of the line. Plus, he hasn't gotten his portion yet. I knew he wouldn't serve himself before others by the way he interacted with the  others when they tried the same thing.  

Again, he had to eat too. So when he got a big scoop I tilted my bowl the tiniest, so a good chunk would spill back into  the pot without a big fuss.

I don't think they noticed. Because after the unknown small portion had been put in I thanked them and  I walked back to the tree where I was sitting. 

I Noticed some smaller footsteps making their way towards mine. 

Wind, as I remember, sat next to me.  I don't think I could express how happy I was about that. He sat next to the grassy patch next to me, it looked like he was waving off a smell of some sort.  I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I was earlier . 

“I can smell them over the food.”

Yup. Definitely.

“I'm aware, I was going to ask if you wanted to see if time wanted to go to the river a couple miles from here.”

You could see him perk up a bit at the word ‘river’ 

“Yes.”

It wasn't long before he finished his food and giddy ade his way up to time, who seemed to be in deep conversation with wars. 

Wind annoyed time that there was water  nearby in a loud whisper, with that much excitement he could jump in the water from here. 

And it wasn't long before he wasn't sprinting past me with wild right wild right behind him. 

I got up slowly grabbing the 3 bowls, and any dirty looking clothes with me to be washed. It wasn't a lot, but enough to know that it was something useful. 

[sturniolo04]

i know it's not really on topic to everything you're currently writing but would you consider writing any matt tattoo fics because i'm obsessed and you're a really good writer.. thank you so much

A/n:  Aww thank you! I love you more! I put a little spin on it and added some spicy parts in it as well! I absolutely love these requests I have coming in, you guys are amazing!! I hope you love it! And remember to leave requests in my inbox! If you don’t like the pre added name in my works you can simply put in your own or don’t read it, it up to you :)-Charli

dividers: @issysh3ll

To say you were obsessed with your boyfriend's tattoo sleeve was an understatement. Anytime he wore and short sleeve or even muscle shirt for that matter you were just obsessed with the sight. You loved how the ink delicately tracing the very definition of his arm and you cant get enough of the sight and Matt knew that.

"we need to go grocery shopping baby we are literally almost out of everything including dish soap"

matt chuckles out as he is doing the dirty dishes from your guys lunch. You sat across from him at the island counter not really paying attention to anything he was saying in that moment because well he decided to wear that pink top you already loved on him but also allowed the tattoos you loved oh so much to be on full display to you in the moment.

"baby"

matt questions tryin to grab you nonexsistent attention.

"hm"

you hum out softly trying to remain composed.

"are you here with me"

matt chuckles out making his over over to you. he knew what you were fixated on.

"ye-yeah im here "

you stutter out as matt made his way over you watching your eyes trail down the ink on his arm.

"you sure it looked like something caught your attention you think"

matt questions you already knowing the answer but wanted to see if you were going to admit to his face.

"no nothing caught my attention"

you stutter out growing nervous that he might have caught your red handed staring. Matt trails his hand to wrap softly around you neck. You out of surprise quickly reach your dainty hands up to grasp onto his fore arm in the process. You secretly were loving this and matt knew that.

"you sure about that baby girl"

matt states leaning his face to your so your guys' lips were inches apart at this point. you let out a soft gasp from the sexual tension that was thicken by the minute around you two

"it doesnt sound convincing to me i think you are lying to me"

matt quips. Matt softly lets his lips brush over yours in the process feeling your shaky breath.

"you-your tattoos"

you gasp out.

"what about them"

matt replies urging you to continue your thought process on this.

"im obessed with them matt"

you breathe out tryin to keep the eye contact with him and not let your eyes roll back.

"hm are you now"

matt states quirking a cocky eyebrow up. Matt knew he only put you in this position to get you to admit it and he knew that it was going to leave you upset at the end knowing he let all the sexual tension build on itself.

"y-yes matt so obessed"

you gasp out. Matt smirks as he removes his hand from around you neck.

"see was that so hard to admit"

matt chuckles out placing a quick peck to your supple raw lips and going back to doing the dishes left in the sink.

"wh-what are you fucking kidding me"

you gasp out pressing you thighs together.

"what"

matt replies trying to act oblivious to the tension he created.

"matt you-youre not"

you traill off not knowing what in the world just happend.

"im not what"

matt replies chuckling a little.

"i hate you so much"

you huff out folding your arms on the countertop placing her head to rest on top of them in the process completely frustrated as matt continues to laugh at h9ow flustered you are.

Taglist🗂️

@mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @dirtylittleheart333

@stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @ksturnz @chaoswithus @emely9274 @ivysturnss @sturniolo-szn2 @lezleeferguson-120 @courta13 @chrepsi @lyingonchris

@tezzzzzzzz @babytomatoes21 @sturniolosymphony @zenithsturniolo @bernardsbendystraws

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

TTPD PLAYLISTS PART 2: You Don't Get To Tell Me About Sad

We're so back! Time to dive into the second playlist in the "5 Stages of Heartbreak" series!

(Link to Part 1 if you missed it yesterday.)

I don't know what it says about me that many of my favourite songs are on this list, but that's what makes it so much fun.

Same disclaimer applies as yesterday: we're diving into the themes that connect the songs on the playlist together, and I'm focusing on the pre-TTPD songs because the playlist served to intro the album before it was released.

You can find the full playlists on this Reddit thread, which is where I got the transcripts from.

Here we go: You Don't Get To Tell Me About Sad, aka Anger

Putting under a cut because this got a little long

Here is how Taylor describes this playlist:

“These songs all have one thing in common: I wrote them while feeling anger. Over the years I've learned that anger can manifest itself in a lot of different ways, but the healthiest way it can manifest itself in my life is when I can write a song about it.”

In other words: My veins of pitch black ink.

Track list:

Vigilante Shit // High Infidelity // Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve // exile // illicit affairs // mad woman // tolerate it // Bad Blood // Is It Over Now? // I Knew You Were Trouble // We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together // The Last Time // The Moment I Knew // Babe // I Bet You Think About Me // Dear John // Better Than Revenge // Tell Me Why // You’re Not Sorry // Forever & Always // Mr. Perfectly Fine

The lyrics that tell (a) story:

I don't start shit but I can tell you how it ends // You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough // And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was, but, Lord, you made me feel important and then you tried to erase us // You never learned to read my mind, you never turned things around, I gave so many signs // And you wanna scream, "Don't call me 'kid!' Don't call me 'baby!'" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me! You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else // No one likes a mad woman, you made her like that // You assume I'm fine but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins, took this dagger in me and removed it, gain the weight of you then lose it, believe me, I could do it // Did you think we'd be fine? Still got scars on my back from your knife so don't think it's in the past, these kind of wounds, they last and they last // I think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing I've been wanting, but no // No apologies, he'll never see you cry, pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why you're drowning // Then you come around again and say "Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me." Remember how that lasted for a day? I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you." // This is the last time I'm asking you this: put my name at the top of your list / This is the last time I'm asking you why you break my heart in the blink of an eye // And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show? // What about your promises? // Mr. Superior Thinkin', do you have all the space that you need? I don't have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy // Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you, counting my footsteps praying the floor won't fall through again // I never saw it coming, nor would I have suspected it, I underestimated just who I was dealing with // Why do you have to make me feel small so you can feel whole inside? Why do you have to put down my dreams so you're the only thing on my mind? // Could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold and you got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to know //  Then you feel so low you cant feel nothing at all and you flashback to when he said, "Forever and always" // It's such a shame 'cause I was Miss "Here To Stay," now I'm Miss "Gonna be alright someday," and someday maybe you'll miss me, but by then you'll be Mr. "Too Late"

It was actually way harder to pick out the lyrics for this playlist "mashup" than I thought it'd be, even more so than yesterday's playlist, because there are sooooooo many different stories you can tell with these songs. You could go full-on caught-in-the-crosshairs fury (like, um, the microwave), or full-on communication breakdown (like, um, the oven), or full-on betrayal or cynicism or scathing or any of the above. The girl has a sharp pen when she's mad, and perhaps some of her best work comes out of it. In any case, I kind of split the difference in some ways to reflect what we ultimately saw on the album. (And the first and last paragraphs above are kind of my favourite for condensing a story into its most simplistic and comprehensible form.) But I think it also highlighted why mashups may be so rewarding for artists like Taylor, because it was SO fun to pick through the songs to see what would fit together.

… And what that story (maybe) means:

I said in yesterday's post that one thing that shone through these playlists is that the first and last songs bookend each other to set up for the next one. So going from stewing in your anger and fantasizing about revenge, to realizing at the end of the day that you're worth more than how others treat you and deserve better? That is *chef's kiss*. It's very "once I fix me, he's gonna miss me" to me. Except, of course, there are several situations at once in the playlist that are enough to drive a person crazy, so the "he" is kind of the royal "he" in that it stands for a whole body of things. It's heartbreak, it's betrayal, it's extortion, it's manipulation, it's all kinds of things bleeding into an inferno.

So, as you can see, it was tricky to pick just one to follow for this lyric "mashup" 😂 I kind of stuck with one thread, but we're going to talk about the others in a bit!

This is what this particular medley sounds like to me:

I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking it anymore // You took me for granted until it killed me // And when I was looking for an out I became easy prey to something even worse // You never tried to understand what was hurting me // You can't smooth things over like you always do because you wrecked me and I don't think I can ever get over it // You drove me to the brink // And dismissed my feelings, but what if I finally do it this time and leave? // Did you assume your betrayal wouldn't still hurt all this time later? Instead of hurting me over and over again? // For once I just want you to follow through but you never will // You never own up to the pain you cause me // And every time I try to leave you swear it'll be different and I always buy it until I don't // So prove it: put me first for once and show me you love me // Because all you've shown is that I am never your priority // even when you swore you'd follow through on our plans // Putting me down isn't going to solve your problems // I made you my world and it still bottomed out // And I never thought I could get hurt this way // ... But no matter how small I make myself and give up my dreams, it's never going to fix what's broken in you, but it will break me with you // I was ready to spend forever with you, but you backed out // and even as we crashed I couldn't forget that you said "forever" too // And I was ready to stand by your side through it all, but you blew it and I'm leaving because I'm better off without you.

... Which is kind of the B-Story* of the album of: Resentment rotting away galaxies we created. It's, "I'm just mad as hell because I loved this place for so long." It's "I'm the best thing at this party." It's "[Are you really gonna] let your damage damage me."

*I don't actually think it's the B-Story, I think it's kind of like a super-A story in relief to the A-Story, but for the purposes of this post... Let's call it a B Story.

But those other stories shows up in some parts: falling for someone with ill intent who you regret ever meeting, feeling betrayed by someone you trusted who you're now feuding with, wanting revenge on someone who hurt you, for instance. It's easy to take those lyrics and weave them into the other story, but on their own they're also really compelling in these tales of anger.

Because of course, the really interesting thing about the playlist is that the songs are not all about heartbreak and love lost, and that's what actually pads out the narrative -- and makes it so hard to pick one theme. We have a song about professional betrayal, and a song about wanting escape from one situation but unfortunately finding yourself being preyed upon for something much darker, and a song about feeling vengeful at someone who takes something from you. Anger comes in so many forms, and can be destructive-- as well as motivating-- in equal measure.

I bring this up because once again, the songs chosen from TTPD to include in this list after the fact really do distill all of this into a short little summary:

Cassandra // The Black Dog // Who's Afraid of Little Old Me // The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Which, in broad strokes, tells another story on TTPD: The events of 2016 that led to Taylor's mass ostracizing and withdrawal from public life, leading to behaviours that eventually factored into the breakdown of the relationship(s) that followed, leading to her lashing out at the public and the systems that capitalized off her pain, then the breakdown of having her dreams exploited for sport. The anger depicted in all those songs come from very different places and manifest in different ways, but they again are all part of the same cycle that led to what the album became.

Which imo is what perhaps the overall message of the playlist is, if you will: that your past can haunt you to falling into patterns that end up hurting you even more. But by the end of the playlist, we get the final message: enough is enough. And sometimes you really do need to go be free.

Next up: Bargaining!

(See also: Part 1 will add more as we go along)