#do we even have any other goalkeepers

[pixiesfz]

VIV AND SAB IN THE PAST 24 HOURS ARE YOU JOKING ME

[roaringroa]

they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end

[outsideratheart]

Time Has No Concept (Ingrid Engen x reader)

It may not have officially been winter but that didn’t stop the -5 degrees feel any warmer. You always said you liked the cold weather or at least you weren’t bothered by it. Today was a true test of that. 

Walking out for the pitch inspection you only have one thing on your mind or more specifically one person. 

“It hasn’t even been a week” Keira tries to tease you but fails because you don’t bite. 

“I don’t care. I spend every day with her in Barcelona so when we’re apart a day is like a week.” 

It was true. It didn’t take much for you to miss Ingrid. You moved to Barcelona after the euros and quickly became friends with Ingrid. It stayed like that way until you won the Champions league. It was a night to be remember for more reason than one. 

Lucy and Keira agreed to go with you to Ingrid as she was with Caro and Ada. 

“Tell me why you, a Norwegian native, are wearing more layers than me?” 

“Because I’m not a human heater” Ingrid opens your arms and makes herself comfy. 

“Hello my love” you look down at her, fully disregarding the company around you. 

“Are you nervous?” Ingrid asks as she sees a crack in your confident persona. 

On game days you were serious, locked in and there was little anybody could do to steer you from this mindset. Ingrid however had the unexplainable ability to see through it and as she stands on the pitch in your arms she sees her girlfriend, not the England captain.

“About the game, of course not” you wink playfully “about what comes after, a little bit. I just want to make a good impression”

“Pull back your shots and maybe you will”

Ingrid knew you would never do as she asked so isn’t surprised when she gets a scoff as her reply. The two of you stay together in each others arms for a few more minutes as you involve yourselves in the conversation between Lucy and Ada. 

It was very well known that you hated wearing base layers but it was advised to put one on gor the game given that it might snow was forecast. That didn’t stop you from removing the thermal layer within the first ten minutes when you saw their goalkeeper go down. At half time most of them put a second base layer on and an extra pair of gloves whereas you opted for a cup of tea instead.

The post match team huddle was one of the quickest in team history and the lap around the pitch that followed matched it. Only one or two England players remained on the pitch to thank the fans, you were one of them. Once the last photo was taken your attention shifted to a different kind of fan.

There she stood talking animatedly with two people who you recognised from the time Ingrid FaceTimed home whilst staying at your apartment.

“Y/N!” The younger boy, Ingrid’s nephew you think, shouts.

“Look at you” Ingrid cannot believe you are standing next to her in the now -8 degrees, maybe even colder, in only shorts and a shirt. No base layers, no gloves, no coat “You’re going to get a cold”

“You forget that I don’t get sick, it’s my superpower. Besides, I’ll have you to keep me warm” you are millimetres away from kissing her when you are interrupted.

“Y/N, please can I have your shirt?” 

“No”

“Yes”

Much to Ingrid’s dismay you give her nephew your shirt. He takes his coat off and quickly puts your shirt on over Ingrid’s. The smile on his face rivals the Cheshire cat’s and you whisper in your girlfriend’s ear that the look on his face makes it worth it. 

Ingrid holds her jacket open and pulls you close as you chat away to her brother about the game, happy with the fact that the two of you get along well and that you will have a familiar face when you meet everybody else a little bit later. It is only when she feels you shivering against her does she politely end the conversation so that you can go inside the stadium.

“Shower, please. No ice baths. We can go on a recovery walk tomorrow” your girlfriend knew your post match routine well at this point but prayed that tonight you would stray without any arguments. 

“Yes ma’am” you salute her before doing as your told. 

Almost two hours later you were pulling up to Ingrid’s parents house. Ingrid seemed confident that her family would like you. The way she grabbed your hand and led you into her childhood home did ease the nerves building inside you. 

Luckily for you, Ingrid’s nephew is the first to see you and pulls you over to show you his Legos. You can’t believe that you are using a child as a shield against her family. 

The protection doesn’t last long because your girlfriend soon calls you over to her parents. You had practiced this speech plenty of times in the mirror. 

Mr and Mrs Engen, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Y/N Y/L/N. 

Yet when you get within a meters distance of them you freeze. These are two of the most important people in your girlfriend’s life and making a good impression on them is a must. 

They stare at you for what feels like an eternity and you can also feel Ingrid’s eyes on you too. Another thing you notice in the corner of your eye is the smirk that is tugging at her lips. 

“You were right. In person she isn’t anything like she is on the pitch” her father says. 

Still you are frozen. Do you slip the player switch on and play the confidence card? No, that might be too much and they’d know it’s an act. 

“Hyggelig å møte deg” you hold your hand out for both her father and her mother. 

Their eyes widen and you don’t know if it’s in shock or horror. Your girlfriend’s silence didn’t help either. 

“I said nice to meet you, right?” 

Ingrid leans in and kisses your check. 

“Elskling, it was perfect” Ingrid compliments you. 

“She is right. The pronunciation was very good” 

“Ingrid didn’t say you knew Norwegian” her father adds. 

“Our team mate Caroline has been teaching me after training” 

Ingrid knew you had been having lessons with Caro, you had told her that much. She just assumed it was Spanish because of how quickly you picked up the native language of your new club. Never in a million years did she think you’d be learning her language. 

The four of you talk for a little while. You get to know Ingrid’s parents and they ask all sorts of questions. They are mainly football and life in Barcelona related. You don’t get the hurt my daughter and I’ll kill you speech but you suspect they are waiting until you’re alone for that. 

After the introductions you retake your place on the floor with Ingrid’s nephew. His company you found a lot less intimidating. Her parent’s are sat on the sofa behind you watching the tv with some of Ingrid’s other relatives but you aren’t bothered by their presence. 

“Y/N” Ingrid shouts from the kitchen where she is helping her brother with the food. 

“Yes, my love” you reply. 

Ingrid’s parents share a look that you don’t see. Was the nickname you had given their daughter part of your English charm or were you really in love with her. 

“So you love our daughter?” Ingrid’s father asks rather boldly. 

“Pappa!” Ingrid comes to your rescue just in time. 

The three important words had not been said but the feeling was there. 

“I do” when you stand to your feet you feel betrayed by your body and mouth. 

“You do?” Ingrid face is the picture of shocked. 

“I do” you whisper softly “I think I’ve know for a while. Everything was made clear in the summer. I was heartbroken but you took me in your arms and held me until I was whole again” 

There it was. The admission that you, for some unknown reason, had been scared to make. 

Ingrid didn’t care that her family was surrounding her. She kissed you with the same passion as the kisses you share at home. It may not be an intense kiss but it is enough to convey her feelings. 

“I love you, I really do” 

What comes over you, you have no idea but you lean back in for another kiss, a peck. The public display of affection does earn a fake gagging sound by her brother before he announces dinner is ready and served. You do have to hold back a laugh when he goes the extra lengths to let everyone know he did it without his sister’s help. 

Later that night you get another hot shower to warm you up. Maybe your girlfriend was right about you getting sick. 

The two of you lay in Ingrid’s teenage room. 

“Did you really mean what you said earlier?” Your girlfriend asks you. 

“What did I say earlier?” 

Hearing this Ingrid sits up and slaps you on the chest. The impact send you into a coughing fit. 

“Don’t play with me. Also, you’re getting sick. Take these” 

You are handed two tablets which you take happily despite your stubbornness. 

“I meant it but I thought it was too soon and I didn’t want to scare you away. How was I suppose to tell you I love you after only being dating for a month, in fact we weren’t even dating, not officially” 

“You knew after a month?” 

“You think it’s too much. You see, this is why I didn’t want to tell you”

Your brain went into overdrive as you began overthinking your decision. 

“It’s not too much Y/N. I met you a year ago yet I feel like I’ve known you a lot longer. I would shock myself at how easy I would open up to you. When it comes to you it’s like time has no concept”

Nobody has ever spoken about you in that way. You were never anyone’s person until you met Ingrid.

“Jeg elsker deg” Ingrid pecks you on the lips “Jeg elsker deg” 

When you fall asleep that night you do so with a huge smile on your face and a sense of calmness that you very rarely feel. 

The next morning Ingrid wakes up to the sound of you coughing, or more accurately barking, in the bathroom. 

“I’m sick” you admit when you see Ingrid standing behind you in the mirror. 

“Come on I’ll make you some broth that will have you feeling good as new in no time” 

“You don’t have to. I’ve taken some more medicine, I’m ok” 

“I know I don’t have to. I want to and it’s what I do for the people I love”

[desperate-gay]

mearps, "i can't believe after 3 years together this is the first time i'm ever learning this", kitchen at home

Family Recipe

Mary Earps x fem!reader

summary: have to read and find out!

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’” Mary’s booming voice startles you, making you jump and almost drop the sharp knife you’re using to slice the food. “I scared ya didn’t I?” The taller girl chuckles, placing her hands on your hips and a kiss on your cheek.

“Yes, yes you did.” You huff in fake annoyance while playfully giving her a scolding look.

“Awe you’re so adorable all pouty.” Mary moves in a baby voice as one of her big hands reaches up and squeezes your cheeks. You quickly smack her hand away and mumble something under your breath as you turn your body back to the food.

“How was training?” The goalkeeper sighs, leaning against the counter while watching you do your thing.

“Exhausting, annoying, smelly, and any other adjectives I have missed. Besides that what are you stirring up over there, love?” Your girlfriend quirks an eyebrow and attempts to look over your shoulder only for her sight to still be blocked.

“I am starting to make my uncle’s signature pasta sauce so we can have some tonight.” You say, smiling at her giddy state when she starts clapping her hands in excitement.

At every family function your uncle brings his homemade pasta along with his sauce. Mary is always the first to get a plate and the first to get seconds. Nobody in the family knows the recipe besides your uncle, you, and your mom which makes Mary very jealous when you won’t share it with her.

The taller girl reappears behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist and hugging you along with placing random kisses either on your shoulders, head, or cheek. You smile at her clingy behavior, enjoying being close to her after not seeing each other for most of the week.

“Y’know what?” You ask, turning around to face her.

“What?”

“Do you want to help me cook?” Mary looks even more confused considering she doesn’t know anything about how the dish is made.

“I can’t help because I don’t know how.” Your girlfriend huffs while crossing her arms, annoyed that you’re basically rubbing it in her face.

“I think it’s time I can teach you.” You let out a big squeal when the goalkeeper’s arms lift you up into the air and spin you around in glee. “Okay okay, calm down there, cowboy. I gotta be conscious to do so.” You tease which the other girl doesn’t notice from being too caught up putting on an apron she jokingly got for you one day.

“Chef Mary reporting for duty.” She stands tall while fake saluting, making you giggle at her determination and silly nature.

“Alright you goof, you can start by cutting those tomatoes over there.” You point over to the free area with the knife.

“I can’t believe after 3 years together, this is the first time I’m ever learning this.” The taller girl speaks with a certain eagerness and reaches for the veggie and fruit bowl.

“Mary, those are apples.”

A little while later all the ingredients are already in the pot and formed into the signature sauce. You scoop up a little with the wooden spoon and hold her hand under it in case anything spills while blowing to cool it off.

“Time for the final test. Try and see if it’s good.” You hold up the spoon, gesturing for her to open her mouth. Once she does, you angle it up into her mouth in an attempt to make it all in but some drips down the corner of your lips.

“God, that’s so delicious I’ll never get over it.” She groans at the taste immediately wanting more.

“You got a little something right there.” You smile while wiping the remains of the dressing off her chin. While trying to gather it off her face, you don’t notice the loving expression she has while staring down at you. “There you go, my love.” You say, sucking it off your thumb before you swiftly get pulled in for a time-stopping kiss.

The kiss is so unbelievably tender and sweet that you almost faint. You can tell how much love is being poured into it just by the feeling of her lips and her hand cradling your face. Once air becomes a problem, you pull away reluctantly while staring at each other in awe.

“Wow.” You whisper, placing your hands over hers that still rest on your face.

“I love ya. I love ya so so so much.” She finalizes her statement with another big kiss on your lips. In your head, you know that this is forever. No one besides family can know the secret recipes and now she’s your family.

[adascore]

Captain Obvious

pairings: lionesses x lioness!reader

warnings: sarina scaring the hell out of us. fluff.

author’s note: I know this isn’t how captaincy is announced, but all of this is fictional anyway so it doesn’t even matter :)

masterlist

•••••

''Is everyone in?'' Sarina asked, scanning the room to ensure the complete attendance of the squad and necessary staff.

A few heads nodded at the manager. ''Good.'' The Dutchwoman concluded.

''Before we talk about the upcoming game against North Macedonia, I would like to say something else.'' Sarina began the team meeting, her gaze lingering on Y/N.

The player curiously turned her head to Mary, who was sitting next to her. The goalkeeper merely shrugged in response.

''I didn't want to do it like this, but I think this is the only way to get my message across… Y/N, can you please come stand next to me?'' Sarina's invitation sounded more like a demand, leaving the striker slightly confused at the stern tone.

Y/N hesitated for a moment but stood up, making her way to the front of the room as requested by Sarina.

Glancing at her teammates, she found it challenging to read their expressions. Some were nervously biting their nails, while others were avoiding eye contact altogether.

Strange, the striker thought.

Sarina maintained her serious tone, making Y/N's heart race with anticipation. ''We have noticed some issues lately…'' The room fell silent, everyone's eyes fixed on the player, who was growing more bewildered and scared by the second. She tried to recall any recent incidents that might have triggered this discussion.

''The communication on the pitch, the communication off the pitch, the passes, the attacks… it is all anyone has been talking about on this team.'' The coach's vague explanation was making her worried, because it implied people had been speaking about her to Sarina.

''It forced us to reassess your position in this team.'' The Dutchwoman continued, maintaining her stoic stone.

It was a difficult task to make the Lyon captain nervous, but Sarina was doing an amazing job so far. ''My… position… on the team?'' Y/N spoke slowly, not quite knowing what to make of all of this.

''Yes, we're sorry to tell you this,'' she turned towards Arjan, their assistant coach, who handed her something the player wasn't able to see, ''but you are our new, official captain.'' Sarina's expression did a complete 180, a big grin on her face.

The room erupted into cheers, her teammates bursting out laughing at the player staring at their coach in stunned disbelief.

''Wait, what?'' Y/N mumbled as Sarina handed her the captain's band.

''Did you really think I was going to kick you off the team?'' The older woman exclaimed, surprised her player actually fell for it.

Y/N awkwardly chuckled. ''I mean- you sounded super serious! You should become an actress or something.''

''Congratulations, captain!'' Her team engulfed her in a group hug, feeling pats all over her head.

''I was wondering why none of you were looking at me.'' The newly appointed captain said, everything making sense now.

''I was having such a hard time,'' Ella sighed, before glancing over at Mary, ''you were awful!''

''What? Tooney!'' The goalkeeper exclaimed, clearly offended.

Alessia chimed in. ''You kept hiding your face cause you couldn't contain your smile.''

''I'm just happy for my friend!'' Mary defended herself, trapping Y/N in her arms.

Some of the girls made ‘Awh'-noises, dramatically swooning over the striker-goalkeeper duo.

''Took you long enough to figure it out.'' Mary teased, a mischievous grin playing on her lips.

Y/N scoffed, slightly offended. ''How was I supposed to know?''

''I'm roomies with the captain.'' Alex proudly stated, her eyes sparkled with pride as she side hugged her roommate.

''That's not fair! Alex already has an advantage over everyone!'' Georgia interjected, loudly.

Y/N frowned. ''I've been captain for like 2 seconds, what are you talking about, G?'' She chuckled, befuddled by everyone's enthusiasm.

''You'll understand what I mean when she's suddenly being a lot nicer to you.'' Georgia explained, making wary eyes at the blond defender.

Lucy approached her and grabbed the captain's band from her hand. ''Come on, put it on.'' She held it open for her so Y/N could easily slide her arm through.

As soon as it was tightly attached to her arm, the entire room broke into cheers again.

''You wear it well, Skipper.'' Lucy teased with a playful grin.

She felt someone hugging her from behind. ''Congratulations, darling.''

''Thanks, Jill.'' The new captain smiled, glad her older teammate was happy for her.

Girls like Jill, Ellen, Alex, Lucy and Jordan had been there since she first joined the England team- it was a special moment for them as well to see their younger teammate take over the reins of the team.

''Congrats, sweetheart. You deserve this so much.'' Ellen embraced her, her fellow striker grinning from ear to ear.

''Thanks, El.''

''Speech! Speech! Speech!'' A couple of the girls (Ella, Georgia, Keira and Leah, to be specific) started chanting.

Y/N chuckled at the impromptu request for a speech, feeling the weight of the moment. She raised her hands, signaling for a moment of quiet amidst the cheers.

''Okay, okay!'' She began, a genuine smile on her lips. ''First of all, I want to thank Sarina, and whoever decided this, for giving me this huge honour, and for trusting me to lead this incredible team. I know to some people it's just a band, but I do feel a responsibility to lead by example and for me this means so much more.''

She paused, letting her words sink in. ''I joined this team when I was 18 years-old, and I've experienced so much already. I just want to thank all of you, and also the teammates that aren't here today, for making this such a beautiful group of people and for making this genuinely fun to do. I'm lucky to have you guys as my teammates.''

Her gaze swept across the faces of her teammates, feeling herself getting emotional. ''I will continue to do my best. This isn't just about me, it's about all of us. We're here to support one another and to enjoy all of this together.''

''I'm looking forward to the rest of the year, and it might be to early to say this, but fuck it,'' she chuckled, resulting in laughter from the entire room, ''this summer is ours!''

The meeting room echoed with applause, and somehow she ended up in the middle of a group hug.

Sarina and Arjan watched on as their team celebrated together, content smiled on their faces.

''This is the team.'' He told his boss, a confident tone.

The Dutchwoman nodded. ''This is the team.''

[woso-dreamzzz]

Academy

Hardersson x Preteen!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Your first academy session

Your first official day of academy training comes after Momma and Morsa have retired.

You've moved back to Sweden properly now with constant trips to Denmark as well. But, mainly, you're based in Sweden. Momma and Morsa have gone into coaching and sometimes commentating while you're left going to school and practicing.

You'd done a trial in the summer for Linköping FC and got in and now you're sitting in the car with Momma and Morsa psyching yourself up to go in.

You're eleven now - nearly twelve - and you open and close your hands into fists as you look over at the training centre. There's a group of similarly aged girls to you waiting outside, getting ticked in on the register as they stand in a clump.

"Do you need us to come up with you?" Morsa asks, also looking at the girls.

You shake your head. "No. No one else's parents are there." It's a lie, of course. You desperately want them to walk you up there but it'd be embarrassing so you're leaning away from the option.

Momma turns back in her seat and reaches her hand back to hold yours. "Hey," She says," It's only for a few hours. You go in. You listen. You do what they say and then we'll go and get takeout for dinner. Sound good?"

You nod, wiping your sweaty palms on your shorts. "Yeah."

"We love you," Morsa says," And if you hate it, you don't have to go back."

You slip out of the car and approach, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as you sign in. It doesn't take long for everybody else to arrive and soon you're all being brought inside and handed trainings shirts and stuff.

Then, names are being read out.

You're still young so roles like defence, midfield and forward are still fairly flexible but some people (like you) are already firmly in little boxes so you're easy to separate out.

But, most of your peers end up in a group in the middle because they either haven't chosen their roles or don't yet know what they'd be good at.

There's a fairly large group of forwards which Momma told you last night would happen. At your age, everyone wants to score a goal and most of these girls will end up as attacking midfielders before the year is up. Speaking of the midfield, they're a much smaller group than the self-proclaimed forwards and the defenders are even smaller.

You're the only goalkeeper, feeling a little awkward as you sit at a table all by yourself until the trainer comes.

He smiles at you. He's kind of got one of those old people smiles that Momma's dad has, all warmth and happiness.

You smile back.

"You know," He says, his voice barely above a whisper," I wasn't actually expecting any keepers today. Usually, everyone wants to score a goal."

"That's what my Momma says."

"Your Momma sounds very smart," He replies," Now..." He pulls out some sheets of paper. "I'm meant to explain all the ins and outs of everything. It's meant to take a while because we leave time for questions but, if you let me get through this all then I'm sure we'd have time to play a few rounds of noughts and crosses while everyone else finishes up. Sound good?"

You nod.

He's right, of course. Everyone else takes ages to explain everything but keeping is fairly straight forward and you're the only keeper here so there's not other people around to ask questions.

"Whoa there!" Morsa says as you crash into her at the end of training," You're all sweaty!"

She's right.

You are sweaty. Hair sticks to your forehead and your shirt to your skin. You're sure that you're all gross feeling but Morsa doesn't care as she hugs you back before ushering you into the car.

"How did it go?" Momma asks as she pulls out of the car park," Good? Bad?"

"Good!" You say, a grin splitting your face wide open.

"What did you do?" Morsa asks, turning in her seat to look at you.

"We played a little game," You answer, practically bouncing in excitement," So they could all see where we were at and the individual trainers laid out the plans for each week."

"Were there a lot of forwards?" Momma teases as she turns onto a road.

"Uh-huh. I was the only keeper though."

"That'll change," Morsa assures you," Those kids that haven't decided yet will end up cycling through everything. I'm sure one or two of them will be keepers."

"It's fine," You say," I'm not upset. I don't need other keepers."

Your mothers laugh softly.

"You still need to make friends," Momma says.

"I just want to train," You insist stubbornly.

"You can train and have friends too," Morsa puts in," In fact, I'd go so far as to say you need friends to train well. Promise me, princesse, that you'll make some friends."

You huff. "Fine," You say," I'll make friends."

"Good. Now, what did you want for dinner?"

[soccer-love]

Olympic Lovers

Felicitas Rauch x reader

I can exactly remember the words she said this morning.

When I was laying in my bed, safely wrapped in her arms.

"Whatever happens tonight, I will always be so proud of you."

I was still half asleep and only managed to get out a small nod as an answer, but I knew that it was enough for her.

That I was enough for her.

"Breathe! You can do this." Giuli said to me as I was walking towards the penalty mark.

If I scored, we would be through to the semi finals.

If not....well I guess we would have to do another round of penalty shootouts.

I move the ball to the correct position and then walk a few steps backwards.

After I hear the referee blew her whistle I take a deep breath, trying to push away all the thoughts in my head.

This is soccer.

This is what I am best at.

Without thinking about it more, I start running towards the ball.

And I kick it.

Directly into the net, through the open arms of the Canadian goalkeeper.

I hear my teammates shouting and a scream escapes my mouth while I jump around like a crazy one.

The first one to catch up on me is Feli, she hugs me so tight that we almost fall to the ground, but Anne is there to catch us.

"YESSSSSS" I hear Syd screaming as her arms also wrap around me and it quickly turns into a big group hug.

They scream and hug each other and I see Syd and Laura chasing each other around with the water bottles someone gave them.

Feli still holds onto me, her arms wrapped around me so tightly that I can barely breath, and even though we are both sweaty and my legs feel like they where made out of cement the only thing I care about is the words she says.

There so quiet that only I am able to understand it, but I do.

"I love you so fucking much."

I pull back to look at her and see the big smile that covers her face.

"I love you too." I say and it takes all my strength to not kiss her, right there, right now.

Luckily Sara and Merle come to bring us some water and so we just keep smiling at each other.

"SEMI FINALS! SEMI FINALS! SEMI FINALS!" Bibi and Laura scream as we enter the locker room.

"WHUUUUU" I answer and they laugh.

We celebrate that win a little more but we can fell how tiered everyone is so we quickly take a shower and then go to the bus to head back to our hotel.

Feli shoots me a smile before going into her room with Sara and then sends me a goodnight text.

We're not out to the team yet and so we also have other roommates.

---

As I wake up in the morning the sun isn't up yet and so Syd is also still asleep.

I grab my phone from the little nightstand and see a massage from Feli asking if I wanted to come over since Sara got up early and went to the gym.

As quietly as possible I get up, put on some shoes and then leave the room, trying not to wake Syd up.

Feli and Saras room isn't far from mine and after my second knock she already opens the door.

"Hey beautiful, any reason your up this early?" she flirts, leaning against the door frame.

"This cute girl asked me to come over but I think she's already gone." I tease, looking past her into the room and then stepping back.

"Whoa." Feli quickly grabs my hand, pulling me back. "You think my roommate is cute?"

"You are cute." I say and she laughs.

"Come on inside before anyone ears us." I follow her inside and then jump onto her bed.

Feli laughs at me but quickly lays down next to me, wrapping her arms around me.

"Feli?" I ask and look up into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Yes?"

"Do you really love me?"

Something in the way she looks at me, in this moment, the way the look in her eyes softens, makes me fall in love even more.

"I never felt so much love like I do for you." she whispers and then softly kisses me.

"I love you more." I answer and then let my head rest on her shoulder.

She softly starts running her fingers through my hair and I almost fall back asleep but a sudden loud noise that comes from the hallway, gets me awake again.

"I dont know where she is Syd." I hear someone saying and look over at the door.

"She also isn't downstairs at breakfast." I hear another voice, I would say it's Giuli.

Then I hear a door opening and foot steps.

"What's going on?" Thats defiantly Laura.

"We can't find Y/N." this time it is Syd.

"What about Y/N?" I hear Leas voice.

"What are they doing? A team meeting?" I whisper to Feli and she tries to hold back her laughter, while Syd repeats her sentence from before.

"We should ask Feli, they are usually together." Lea suggests and before I even realize what that means, the door opens.

"Shit." I say and fell Feli pulling me tighter against her body.

"Feli have you.....whoa!" Sara says, stopping in the doorway so Syd bumps against her.

"What...OH MY GOOD!" Syd screams, jumping back and with that the other people in the hallway get to see us too.

"You two..." she adds, looking from Feli to me and back to Feli.

"...where trying out if these Anti-Intimacy beds actually work?" Laura finishes her sentence.

Feli grabs the pillow from behind us and throws it at her.

"Chill buddy, we understand that you both have needs but dont you know how to lock the door?" Sara asks.

"It's not like that." Feli says and sits up, my hand in hers.

"You sure?" Laura asks, grinning at us.

"Yes."

"You two are in love?" Anne says, she is overlooking the rest of the group and her eyes are fixed on our entangled hands.

Feli looks at me and in her eyes I see that she is asking for my permission to tell them about us.

"We are." she smiles.

"OH MY GOOD." Syd screams again and before anyone can react she jumps on top of us.

"MY BESTIE IS IN LOVE." she shouts and pulls me into a hug.

I can see the rest of the room laughing, before Sara also hugs Feli.

"I think you got the right girl, buddy." She says and Feli smiles.

"I think that too."

[magics-neptunes-things]

Concussion

Hi guys!

I don’t have much to say about this story, except that I hope you like it. I’m not so happy with what I’ve been writing lately to be honest, so if you have any ideas or suggestions, I’ll gladly listen.

Summary: You are injured during an international match, far too far from your girlfriend’s comforting arms.

TW: Wound, blood.

______________________________________________________________

Playing under the snow doesn’t appeal to many people, but you have always liked it. You like the idea that weather conditions make players think differently and nothing amuses you more than having to clear the ball from the snow before putting it back into play. You and your Swiss team were winning 1-0, a goal scored by Ana from the start of the match and you have managed to keep the advantage since. Especially helped by Lia’s talent in midfield. You flew with her from London, playing for Arsenal, just like her.

That’s where you met your girlfriend. Leah, despite the fact that she is still recovering from her injury, remained in England, still having to respect Sarina’s wishes. The trainer seems to want to keep her captain close to her, even injured.

After the middle of the second half, the snow falls even stronger than before. The ground is slippery for your shoes, but prevents the ball from rolling properly. This doesn't prevent Ramona from sending you a ball to allow you to run quickly near the goalkeeper of the other team. If you could score a second one, it would completely shelter you.

However, you are stopped rather abruptly in your race by another player, just when you passed the penalty zone. The tackle itself is far from mastered and throws you to the ground. Because of the snow, you find yourself sliding against the post of the opposing goal, making you inert. A silence falls on the football stadium and you don't feel when the opposing goalkeeper roll you on the back. When you regain consciousness, you see the faces of your national team healers leaning over you.

"She is awake" one of them launches in Swiss-German, provoking sighs and exclamations of relief around you.

For your part, you are confused. Your whole body hurts and you have trouble concentrating. The snow failing on your face is cold, but it help your headache.

"Leah" you whisper, before closing your eyes when they put a flashlight in front of them.

"She’s right there Love" a female voice answers before calling her.

When you see Lia appear in your field of vision, you understand the misunderstanding. What an idea to have chosen a girlfriend and a best friend with a similar name. Lia doesn’t need you to talk to her to understand, and you're glad. She send you a little smile. The pain in your head is appalling and keeps you from concentrating.

"It’s going to be okay" Lia gently kneels beside you to take your hand in hers.

In the ocean of pain in which you find yourself, this affectionate gesture is rather pleasant. You close your eyes and let it happen when you are put on the stretcher, launching you lulled by the movements that take you to the infirmary.

"Don't fall asleep" makes you one of the healer, but you can do nothing but release a moan for any answer.

Leah’s face floats in your mind as you darken again, seeking relief from the various pains you have. You regain consciousness in the ambulance but you quickly find yourself nauseous. It only takes a few minutes for what you ate during the day to end up in a basin next to your bed.

********

On Leah Williamson’s side, we went into panic mode. She followed your match thanks to her mobile phone and the different streaming offered on the Internet. She quickly knew it was bad when she saw you weren’t getting up. After thinking for a few moments, she left the stadium to jump on the first plane that could take her to you. Still in her coat with the Arsenal logo, she made as fast as possible to reach you, kept informed of your health by your family and Lia.

She came to pick her up at the airport with her car, trying her best to calm your girlfriend. It's in the early morning that Leah can finally be at your side, far too long to her taste. On your side you have to admit that you saw nothing, having been sleeping all along. Your concussion is bad and you’re just going to have to watch your teammates for the next game and probably miss the next Arenal's game. But it could have been much worse.

When the blonde walks into your room, you’re asleep. Her gaze slips on the different machines that are attached to you, frowning. She recognizes the one that measures your heart rate, the one that sends you regular doses of morphine. But her beautiful blue eyes end up running through your face and her heart tightens. In addition to your concussion, you have a impressive cuckold and we had to sew your eyebrow.

"How is she?" Leah asks to the nurse next to her.

"She was feeling nauseous when she arrives here, but it looks like everything is fine now. She’s a little confused as well. When she woke up earlier, she had trouble remembering what had happened. She was convinced she was in London to have appendix surgery."

"She had her appendix removed urgently two years ago" Leah mutters as she looks at you.

The nurse nods thoughtfully and informs Leah and Lia that you need to rest now, before slowly leaving the room. Noticing that her friend seems panicked again, Lia gently puts a hand on her shoulder.

"She went back two years, confusing hospitals. What if she doesn’t recognize me when she wakes up? Or that she forgets we’re together?"

Offering light pressure on Leah’s shoulder, Lia gently shakes her head with a small smile.

"She’s just a little confused. It will be ok, I’m sure."

Lia having been informed that only the family can stay overnight, she in turn leaves your room quietly. Sighing softly, Leah settles down next to you. Being both afraid to wake you or to hurt you, she decides instead to press her face on her two, placed on the edge of your mattress.

When you wake up a few hours later, you are relieved to see that someone has thought about turning off the light from the ceiling of the room. You quickly understand where you are but you have trouble knowing what time it is. Outside, it's not yet day but given the season it could still be 7 hours past. Feeling your head still numb, you prefer to close your eyes for a few more moments. It’s only when you move your hand slightly that you touch Leah’s arm.

Mechanically, you open your eyes and look in this direction, remaining surprised by discovering your girlfriend deeply asleep at your side. Contrary to her habit when she is asleep, Leah’s face is far from relaxed. Her famous frown is still present on her face. Gently raising your hand, you caress her face, applying yourself to erase it. You take the opportunity to put a lock of her hair behind her ear too, clearing her face. You didn’t want to wake her up, but she finally moved slowly and opened her eyes.

"Hi" you do say quietly as you watch her waking up. "How are you feeling?" Leah asked, standing up, wincing as she felt her neck hurt. "Confused. What are you doing here?" "What... what do you mean?" Before falling asleep, Leah let her mind wander perhaps a little too long. Despite Lia’s reinsurance attempts, she has long imagined the different scenarios you would face if you ever forgot what had happened between you over the past two years. As if it were possible. "Aren’t you supposed to be in London?" You ask before you add when you see her getting paler than before "I’m glad you’re here, but you were at Wembley last night? No?" Leah doesn’t answer, seemingly completely lost. Which has the effect of losing you even more. You let it go for a few seconds before you say timidly. "Leah?" "Do you remember me?" mumbles Leah without looking at you. "What the... I don’t understand anything" you moan, softly massaging your temple. "Why would you want me not to remember you?" "The nurse said you were mixing today with your hospitalization two years ago" Leah’s tone is still very low and you are finally starting to understand what can happen in her mind (a little twisted, let’s face it). She let you take her hand in yours, but didn't raise her eyes on you. "I know who you are. You are Leah Williamson, Captain of the England Team, European Champion and my little lovely Muffin" Leah hates that nickname, which you’re only allowed to use when you’re alone. But for once she seems happy to hear you use it, lifting up on you a look where hope and relief blend perfectly. "Can I have a kiss now?"

A big smile on her face, Leah leans over you to kiss you tenderly. If you had been with all your abilities, you would certainly have pulled her onto the bed to squeeze her against you. But that conversation alone seems to have exhausted you and you willingly sink into the cushions after that.

"Do you have pain somewhere?" asks Leah nicely

You shake your head negatively before bitterly regretting your gesture. The grimace of pain that appears on your face doesn't escape Leah who doesn't even ask your opinion before calling the nurses. Outside, the sky finally seems to clear and the clock in front of your bed informs you that it is indeed around eight in the morning.

After a full check-up, the nurse straightens the head of your mattress and informs you that she will bring you breakfast. You’re pouting, not really hungry. But she insisted that you should eat something and it didn’t fall on deaf ears. As soon as your tray arrived, Leah asks you what you want to eat.

"I’m not hungry" you mumble, frowning.

But Leah being known for her determination leaves you no choice. You end up opting for yogurt, leaving bread and jam aside. It's with Leah installed at the feet of your bed, feeding you with a spoon, that your parents find you when they come to visit you.

********

A week later, you were allowed to go home to London. Despite your headache that sometimes persists, you are much better and you no longer have dizziness or nausea. Leah stayed with you every second, making sure you weren’t hungry, hurt, or thirsty. The blonde may have been a little excessive, but since you were allowed extra hugs, you never complained.

Set up in your plane seats, which Leah chose in first class despite your protests, you let yourself go against her. You have two hours of flight left and since you have no screen for another two days, you intend to enjoy having Leah just for you a little more. You know that in London, you will find your daily routine back. You’re not allowed to resume training, but Leah still follows them, even at her own pace.

"I’m glad we can go home" Leah say thoughtfully while looking at the window.

"Switzerland isn’t good enough for you, Williamson?" you pretend to be offended.

Leah laughs softly and lays a kiss on your hair.

"No, I love it. What I meant by that is that I’m glad that this story is behind us. I was fucking scared."

You just hum, playing with her fingers. You finally learned that the blonde jumped on the first plane possible, renting a jet to make sure to come to you quickly. You already had scolded her about spending so much money for so little, but then you got scolded back, Leah claiming she would die of anguish if she stayed away from you under these circumstances. You didn’t object to that.

"I know I’m an ass sometimes, with my dirty temper and all, but I really love you"

You smile this time, raising your face in her direction. It’s been a little less than two years since you started dating but you were around each other for several months before that. You took your time, preferring to be sure before trying. And it worked pretty well for you.

"I know that your character is only a shell and that inside you are as tender as a marshmallow"

"Shh, somebody might hear you" Leah frown, putting a finger on your lips.

Her face quickly cracks with an amused smile when you pretend to bite her finger.

"Behave yourself" Leah maliciously mumble before putting a kiss on your lips.

She puts her arm around your shoulders to hug you again and you willingly let her take you in her arms. Her scratching in your hair has the hidden purpose of putting you to sleep, and no matter how long you struggle, you end up sleeping peacefully in her arms.

[totaly-obsessed]

Questions

Mary Earps x reader request

-> Mary gets jealous of the Reader for getting all the glory after an outstanding game -> requested by @michellelawrence222 under a different story - I hope you like it!

-> Cursing

a/n: I'll try to catch up with requests next week - Uni is killing me rn.

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Playing on the same team as Mary, your fiancé, was the best scenario there was for you. Not only could you play with your partner – but your job was your childhood hobby. Your life was a literal dream.

And so was Mary – she was your dream, your future.

She always paid attention to you, valued you and your opinions, and helped you find your voice and ultimately yourself. She was an angel sent from heaven – a much-needed sign of peace for you and your chaotic life when you had met her all those years ago.

But a side not many people got to see from your girlfriend was her jealous one. The goalkeeper was usually the calm and organized one in your relationship, but when someone got just a little too close to you? All thoughts went out the window.

You found it quite cute. Yourself not ever able to imagine yourself with anyone else than her, not even able to pay attention or able to think of anyone else than her. But Mary, sweet Mary tended to get jealous or as she liked to call it ‘protective’.

It wasn’t intense or overbearing. She didn’t make you change clothes or stay home or any of that cliché stuff you see in the movies. Mary just liked to know that you were hers and that she was yours.

Whenever she got jealous her cheeks would turn red, her brows furrowed and her cheeks would puff up, desperately trying to calm herself down.

But that certain day was a little different, she was jealous of you, not someone who got too close to you. You.

As a striker who scored as often as possible, you were often in the spotlight – seen as a ‘savior of the club’ – while Mary was the unsung hero. She worked hard. Day and night to get better and to be the best goalkeeper in the WSL. But the recognition got lost somewhere you could not understand – your fiancés's biggest fan.

On that unfortunate day, you had scored two goals in the second half after Nikita Parris had scored in the first, while Mary had scraped every ball off her own goal line, making this one of the best games of the season for Manchester United.

Yet the applause for Mary’s efforts fell short, all eyes on you and Nikita. Your fiancé had enough. How come she did everything she could to keep the score zero on their side, but no one cared? If she had let all those shots on goal in, this would be a very different situation and she would have been heckled by fans and critics alike.

After the game you were on a winning high, like everyone else on your team – it was a great game. But Mary was scowling in a corner, not even looking at you. Meanwhile, every interviewer there wanted to speak to you and you did your best to talk to each and everyone.

Once you finally entered the dressing room it was mostly empty, aside from your fiancé who looked busy sorting through her bag. “Hey, baby. You did so well! I’ll shower real quick and then we can go, hmm?” You pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek, a little weirded out by her jerking her head in the other direction, and letting out a grunt.

The drive home was tense. You had hurried so much that your hair was still wet and you were missing your socks, trying not to make Mary wait any longer – you thought she was annoyed with you because you took so long doing the interviews.

Her left hand which usually found its home on your thigh was clutching the gear stick. The silence was swallowing you whole at this point – and it felt like shit.

At home she stomped into the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Meanwhile, you did your best to cook up a decent meal out of the stuff you had left in your cabinets – it eventually came down to a pasta dish.

But Mary didn’t make her way down, while you waited patiently on the couch, your partner's favorite show already lined up on the TV.

You had already called out for her, texted her, and knocked at the bathroom door – but she never made her way out to you. Tears brimmed your eyes as you sat the meal in silence in the harsh kitchen light. The usual setting of the couch made it clear that something was wrong – so you avoided it.

Maybe she just needed to wind down by herself, just some alone time?

But after three hours and falling asleep on the couch twice, you decided to head up to bed, packing Mary’s dinner portion into a Tupperware box in the fridge.

The bathroom door was now open and the lights were shut off. At least she had left the room.

The blonde was already in bed, a book in her cramping hands as she ignored your presence. “Mary?” She didn’t even look up. “I left your dinner in the fridge. Do you want me to heat it up for you? I can bring it up and you can eat in bed if you would like?”

She still eyed the book, aggressively turning the page which nearly teared under the force she had used.

It felt like walking on eggshells as you got ready for bed – leaving the bathroom door slightly open, scared that she would just vanish from the bed. The silence nearly drove you mad as Mary’s tense jaw shifted from one side to the other.

Eventually, you sat down on your side of the bed, feet still on the ground as you had your back to your fiancé. Your hands fidgeted nervously. Had you done something wrong? Why was she so mad at you?

“You really put in a shift tonight baby, you did so well.” The scoff that left the goalkeeper's mouth was immediate. You could not really understand why – she really did play great tonight and while she was her own harshest critic, she usually knew when she did well. “No, you really did! That dive you made-“

“Will you just shut up?” Oh. So, you really were the problem here – good to know.

You nearly wanted to vomit with how sick to your stomach you felt but if you being quiet made her happy, you would be quiet. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you slid off your slippers, finally getting into bed, your back still turned to the love of your life.

Mary however didn’t care – in fact, she rolled her eyes at you. “Do you want praise for shutting up as well?” Her voice was cutting and you nearly didn’t recognize her. Gone were her soft eyes and lingering touches, instead you could feel a hate-filled stare hit your back as you remained quiet – sobbing into a pillow.

“Give me a second and I’ll post it for you: ‘Star striker good at staying quiet – she deserves a fucking Oscar’ Maybe if you beg you will finally earn a trophy instead of praise.”

Who was this person in your bed?

“I don’t understand what’s happening Mary. How c-“ The blonde started laughing like a maniac. Maybe she was just tired from the game and the stress. “Of course, you don’t fucking see what is wrong! Too busy bathing in the glory while I do all the goddamn dirty work!”

Mary had gotten out of bed, pacing up and down the open floor, pulling at her hair while mumbling to herself. “What if I hadn’t been there, huh?” she was shouting now, angrily gesturing through the air “Who would have stopped them from coming? No matter how many goals ya would have scored, still would have lost without me.”

You flinched as your cold feet hit the ground but your cheeks were still hot in anger, the tears on them nearly evaporating. “Where are you going now?” Mary looked well and truly out of her mind, crying as well. “I’m gonna sleep on the couch. Maybe you should just go to sleep and calm down. Drink some water as well, huh? I love you – good night.”

Your voice was curt as you pressed a short kiss to her cheek, tasting the salt of mixed tears. But you left your fiancé no place to argue as you left the room while she could just stare after you.

The couch was comfortable enough to spend a night as you desperately hoped that she would just come to her senses overnight. It felt like someone had body-switched the woman you loved so much, for someone really mean.

But Mary couldn’t sleep, lying awake in your usually shared bed, clutching your pillow to her chest – what had gotten into her? How were you to blame for the people not recognizing her efforts and work? You were the first to congratulate her on everything, always making sure to mention her in post-match interviews.

If there was anyone at fault it certainly was not you.

Fuck.

You could hear her trudging down the stairs before you could see her, as she stood still behind the couch, nearly standing like a ghost in the kitchen. “You wanna say something?” The nervous gulp showed you that the goalkeeper didn’t expect you to still be awake.

“I’m sorry – I fucked up.”

A sigh so deep that it nearly knocked out the rest of the air in your lugs, left your lips as you sat up again – your head would surely kill you, as a headache already forming from all the crying. Mary sat down on the spot that you had cleared for her.

“Say it again, to my face and tell me what has gotten into you.”

Gone was the scared woman from the bedroom, you’ve had enough. If she wanted to behave like a child you would treat her like one. Mary took your hands into hers, shocked at how cold they were. Her eyes met yours in an ashamed gaze, looking up through her lashes.

“I am sorry for treating you the way I did. I was angry that you had gotten all the glory after the game – but that wasn’t your choice and I shouldn’t have come at you because of it.”

Even in the dark Livingroom, you could see the frustrated tears making their way down her cheeks, wetting your hand as she pressed a kiss to it.

“I accept your apology, Mary.” She could finally breathe, pulling you closer to her and giving you the first of many kisses.

“Pull something like that again and I will kill you.”

You would always be her number one fan, and maybe you just needed to show her that bit more, tell her after more games how well she did – talk about her in more interviews because no matter how frustrating life could be – she was the answer to all your questions.

[so-so-woso]

i wanna be the one | part 1

Edit: Changed title. Thanks to Dru for the suggestion. From the song "Things We Never Say" by the Bad Bad Hats. Great song, potentially relevant maybe who knows.

Summary: Reader is an English-American GK who joins the Arsenal squad and ends up in an interesting back and forth with Leah Williamson. This chapter is mainly set-up for the future. The vibes will probably be very different going forward lol

Warnings: Angst, swallowing self-doubt, and mentions of parental death in the first section.

Word Count: 3,284

London felt just like Seattle. You were expecting it to feel different, more European (whatever that meant), but when you stepped out of the airport and that familiar January rain hit your skin, it was a welcome feeling. It wasn’t quite Home – you hadn’t had one of those in a long time – but it was definitely welcoming, and nice enough that you didn’t bother with an umbrella. It would’ve been hard enough trying to carry one along with all your bags anyway, although by the look on your driver’s face he really wished you had at least tried. It was nice that the team had sent a car to meet you, especially since you didn’t really know anyone here that well, but you supposed they would do that for any new signing. The driver helped you get your bags into the car and then you were off to the club to dot some Is and cross some Ts to make everything truly official.

Wistful thoughts crept into the back of your mind as you were chauffeured through the streets of London, and you decided for the first time in a long time not to fight them. Not here, anyway – not now. Not after everything it took to get you here. Get you here again, technically. You were born in London after all, and raised in Sheffield where your mother had grown up. Your father was an American, from Dallas, who came to England for graduate school and stayed for the woman he fell in love with. He often teased her about “real (American) football” but she converted him to Sheffield United fan, though he would never admit it – at least not until you were born. Match days became a family event as soon as you could stand up on your own, even though you were still too young to really remember anything at that point, but by the time you could run you wanted nothing more than to play. You were always bigger than the other kids so they made you play with the boys, but you knew a lot of the women’s national team players had played on boys’ teams growing up, so you didn’t mind it. You were never upset about that, but you were upset when they made you move to the goalkeeper position when you were eight. It was the boring position and you never got to do anything, but you were the only kid on the team who didn’t seem scared of the ball when it came flying at you, so the job fell to you. Many years later, it would prove to be the right choice, but for a while you thought it felt like a punishment from the universe. Then you found out what that kind of punishment actually felt like.

You were only eleven when your parents died. It was a car accident; your mom was driving. She took the brunt of it and was gone by the time the ambulance arrived. Your dad was in the hospital for two days, but he never woke up. You had been in the back seat. Heavy bruising, a busted ribs, broken collarbone, and a big gash across the side of the head was it for you. You were in the hospital too, for a while. Your paternal grandmother came all the way from Austin to pick you up and take you to live with her. Your mom’s parents had been gone for a while now, and GiGi – what you had called your father’s mother – was all you had left. You had only met her a few times before, but you didn’t really have another option, so across the pond you went.

It would be a massive understatement to say that Texas was different from Sheffield. It was truly a whole different world, but kids are resilient enough. You were famous for a while, because of your accent, and then you were weird for a while, because of your accent, and then eventually you became just one of the kids. Your GiGi was supportive as well, more than you had expected her to be. You didn’t know much of the specifics as a kid, but you knew she and your father had had some sort of falling out and weren’t as close as they had been when he was younger. You always thought it had to do with him choosing to stay in England rather than come home to America. When you got older it seemed like maybe there was more to it than that, but GiGi wouldn’t talk about it. She did help you get into therapy, so that you could learn how to process what had happened and all the big changes that came with it. You didn’t like it at the time, but in hindsight it was probably the best thing she could’ve done. She even started trying to learn about football – soccer – too, because she knew you liked it, and she made sure to sign you up for the local league. You think maybe that time doesn’t heal wounds, but it sort of scabs them over enough that they only hurt when you pick at them, so eventually you learn to stop picking at them, and after that life became kind of normal.

You eventually played soccer in high school – goalkeeper, naturally – and were good enough to get recruited to the University of Texas. From there, the NWSL draft sent you to Seattle for the OL Reign. You spent a season as the third-string goalkeeper, then a season as the second-string, and then were presented with an opportunity you couldn’t dare turn down. It had been Kim Little’s idea, apparently. She had only played with you in Seattle for a month or so, and you never really hung out, but she knew you had grown up in England and that you had really wanted the chance to play football in Europe. She would tell you later that she was impressed with your resilience, something you had heard often growing up, and that you had a “dead brilliant reaction speed” which you guessed sounded good. So when Arsenal’s back-up goalkeeper transferred out and they were weighing their options, she suggested they give you a look. She had said it offhandedly, like it wasn’t a big deal, but you would wager she fought harder for you than she let on. You had only played a handful of games in two seasons, and while you were admittedly good, the offer from the English club still came as a massive surprise. They were up front and adamant about your status as a pure back-up to Zinsberger, and while you would’ve had a decent chance to win the starting spot in Seattle, you just couldn’t say no to European football, to England, to the Arsenal.

That’s how you ended up in the back of a dark car being driven through the streets of north London in the pouring rain. Your fingers fiddled absently at the chain around your neck and the two golden bands that hung from it while you considered everything that led you here, hoping that you made the right choice. Only time would tell, you thought, as the car squealed to a slow stop. You hesitated for a long moment before tucking the necklace under your shirt and moving to exit the vehicle. The driver met you at the car door, an umbrella extended overhead. You were taller than him, so you had to awkwardly bend your neck as he moved to close the door behind you.

“This shouldn’t take long,” he said, “Then we’ll get you home.” You thanked him and stuffed your fists in the pockets of your coat as you followed him up to the club, your stomach slowly rising higher and higher into your throat as the series of decisions you had recently made began to congeal rather quickly into a hard reality. It was some grotesque mix of nerves and excitement and fear that just fully slapped you in the face when you stepped inside the building. You hadn’t felt like this in Seattle, or on the plane, or in the car, but now that you were here, physically, it’s like everything else was physical too. It wasn’t some amorphous Choice floating in the metaphorical ether of your life; it was a foreboding Presence leering down at you, clawing at your shoulders from behind, and whispering ‘you don’t deserve this’ into your psyche. Nausea began to swell up, to the point you were just starting to feel dizzy. Out of instinct you reached forward and put your hand on the driver’s shoulder, who stopped walking to turn and see what you needed. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by a distinctly Scottish, “Oh ‘ey, Tex!” behind you.

You both turned to see Kim Little striding down the hallway, followed closely by Jonas and one of the other coaches. You swallowed hard, all the torturous feelings slowly fading away as you saw a familiar face. “Hey, Little Kim, “ you retorted. She scoffed and faked a jab towards your ribs before she reached up to hug you.

“Welcome to the party,” she said, stepping back to introduce the coaches, who shook your hands. They welcomed you as well and explained that the evening would be brief, they were sure you’d be tired from the flight, but just needed to finalize some things on the business side and then Kim would give a tour of the facilities. You thanked them, probably too many times, and went with them all to finish your paperwork and pick up your official training gear. Your kit wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow since they’d have to put your name on and weren’t sure what number you wanted (you picked 18 because it was available and made sense for a goalkeeper). Kim showed you around, asked about the flight, and made you feel as welcome as she thought she could. It was nice to talk to someone for a while. You weren’t exactly an extrovert, but you were Southern enough you enjoyed being around people, and being able to talk to Kim, even if it was more or less small talk, made you feel better, and by the time the tour was done all of the earlier feelings were forgotten. You started to think that maybe this whole thing was a good idea after all.

“So no rest for the weary – first training tomorrow, yeah? Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. Since you won’t have a car, Uber’s always an option, but until you get sorted, you can get rides with me,” Kim said.

“Sounds good. Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m picking you up extra early tomorrow – the girls’ll want to meet you before kickin’ balls at your head.”

“Well, I guess that’s only polite.”

You both laughed and hugged goodbye before heading your separate ways, you pulling out your phone to look up your new address to send it to Kim. This was a good decision, you thought, this was a good decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your apartment – or flat? – was nicer than you expected it to be. You had done a Zoom tour while you were still in Seattle and it looked fine, but you had tempered your expectations to be safe. Turns out, you didn’t need to. It was a two-bedroom and furnished with the basics, so there was plenty of space for you and plenty room to decorate as you saw fit. You had what was sometimes described as an eclectic taste by your friends, mainly because you liked to decorate with things that made you happy. That seems like an obvious thing to decorate with, but you were kind of – literally – a giant dork, which meant you had a lot of “nerd shit” as your friends would tease. You expected the Arsenal girls would do the same if they ever started coming over, but all of that would be a long time coming. Tonight, all you wanted to do was collapse into bed, which is exactly what you did.

Kim wasn’t lying when she said she’d pick you up early. At least she had the decency to bring you coffee, but she was completely taken aback when you admitted you didn’t really drink coffee and actually preferred tea. “Guess there is some English in you after all,” she had joked as she drove. She asked about your night and how you slept, and pointed out all the important-to-know shops and stops between your apartment and the training center. When you finally arrived, you asked her if she accepted tips for her tour knowledge – to which she responded with “only big bills”. You laughed as you retrieved your bag from the back of her car, and the two of you headed in.

The next few days were an absolute blur. You were introduced to everyone, and they all seemed pretty nice. McCabe kept talking about how tall you were, but from how everyone else acted that was normal. Manu was happy to have another goalkeeper in the squad despite the fact you would both technically be competing for the starting spot, even though you were explicitly hired as a back-up. At least it didn’t seem like there would be any weird hurt feelings or anything there, so you were glad for that. All your other time was spent trying to discern personality types and team dynamics, and also actually training. The coaches had told you they wouldn’t expect you to go full on for the first few days to give you time to acclimate to everything. You thanked them, of course, but that didn’t stop you from diving in head first.

By the time your official day three was over, you wished you had taken it a little easier. It felt like jet lag hit you late, on top of the normal physical tiredness of training. But that evening as the team as the team filtered out of the locker room, Katie McCabe slapped you on the back and said, “Drinks on you tonight, mate!” You turned to look at her, but before you could ask, Kim interrupted with a sharp “Katie–“

“Hold on, hold on! I don’t mean a big to-do, but we gotta welcome the newbie right, right?”

A couple of the other players voiced their agreement and Kim rolled her eyes. “Two drink maximum.”

“Four.”

“Two.”

“Three?”

“Two, McCabe.”

“Two and shots?”

“…”

“Two…and shots?”

“…one shot.”

“Fuck yes, best captain ever! You’re riding with us, Y/N!”

A mix of confusion and amusement spread across your face as you looked between the two of them, and Kim just shook her head and waved at you to go with Katie, so you let yourself be pulled away into whatever the night would bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite telling you that you were paying for drinks, Katie was nice enough to only make you buy the shots, and despite Kim’s hesitance at you all going out mid-week, it was a surprisingly calm evening. You ended up sitting at a table with just a handful of your new teammates. Most of them were joking around with each other, teasing and taunting. You sat quietly, unsure of how inserting yourself into the dynamic would come off. You thought of a few quips throughout the conversations, but made sure to hold your tongue, choosing to sip on your beer instead.

“You always this quiet?”

You glanced over in the direction of the voice, inadvertently locking eyes with Leah Williamson. You knew who she was, obviously – won the Euros and all. What you hadn’t known was that she was even more attractive in person. You didn’t even know that was possible, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise.

“Not usually,” you responded, drawing in a breath. “Just can’t get a word in edgewise with this one goin’ off.”

You gestured towards Katie, who didn’t even register the comment. It did get a chuckle out of Steph and Foord, though, which made you relax a bit. Looking back at Leah, she was still looking at you, but didn’t seem to react otherwise. You paused for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek, before deciding to just go for it.

“So in the summer do you ever get a weird tan on your forehead from frowning so much?”

That did draw Katie’s attention; you could tell from the way she practically guffawed.

“Oy, she’s got you dead to fuckin’ rights!” she said, leaning over to elbow at Leah. The Aussies had laughed as well, as did Kim. Leah didn’t look impressed at the remark, but from the twitch of her lips you would swear she was biting back a smile. She had nice lips. Were you staring at her lips? Your eyes flashed back up to hers and she was still looking at you. She would’ve been able to tell where you were staring. That’s…embarrassing. You swallowed hard, and quickly looked away, taking a long swig of your drink. If anyone else at the table noticed the interaction, they didn’t react. Katie started in on you immediately, dragging you into whatever she had been talking about before, and from there you spent the rest of the evening integrating yourself into the team.

The bar was really only starting to fill up when Kim decided it was time for you all to get a move on. There was some light-hearted grumbling, but everyone was professional enough to know how to behave. You had popped into the toilet before leaving, and when you came out of the stall, Leah was washing her hands. You hesitated for a brief moment before moving up to the sink next to her to wash your own hands, the little bit of alcohol you consumed tonight just enough to embolden you.

“Man, Williamson, what kind of a world is this where you’ve got those legs and no rhythm,” you teased, quickly busying yourself with the most thorough hand-wash you’ve ever done so you didn’t have to look over at her and see how poorly she took the remark.

“You spend a lot of time thinking about my legs?”

You froze. It would seem she didn’t take it too poorly at all. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you turned off the sink and turned to look at her. She was staring at you again. Seemed like maybe she did that a lot.

“Yeah, maybe,” you finally said. She hmmed a bit and cocked her head to the side. The glint in her eye was the only thing that kept you from worrying you were being too forward, and you silently prayed it wasn’t a trick of the fluorescent lighting overhead.

“You think you’re being all charming, with your little jokes?”

“No, not really,” you shrugged. “I think I have the personality of a 14-year-old boy and it’s the only way I know how to flirt with you.”

Leah changed at that. Her posture shifted. Her shoulders dropped slightly. The glint in her eye was gone. You fucked up, you thought. You’ve been here for four days and you already fucked up.

You moved to apologize at the same time Leah moved to respond, but both of you were interrupted by the door to the bathroom slamming open and a group of girls rushing in. You turned around and pushed yourself up against the edge of the sink to get out of the way, but Leah dipped her head down and shoved out past them, taking the opportunity to escape without you being able to stop her.

Yep. You fucked up.

[billybob598]

Someone Like That (Leah Williamson x Reader)

Ok, hi everyone! This is my first fic, so please give me any feedback good or bad! I'm gonna try to get another one out in a couple days as well. Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.7K (I think)

Leah watches with baited breath as you dive to stop yet another shot. She gets her head back in the game quick enough to clear the ball out of bounds. You scramble back onto your feet.

“Come on Arsenal, we have to close the ball down quicker!” Everyone just gives you a small nod in acknowledgment. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a hand reach out for a high-five. When you make eye contact with Leah she gives you a grin, you return it as you slap her hand. 

As the game against Bayern continues on, you cannot but watch in awe at everything Leah does. When she assists Frida with that cheeky chop pass you almost ran across the field to hug her. But you didn’t, mostly because that’s a long way to run for a goalkeeper. When the final whistle blows you sink to your knees with a sense of relief. 

“Oh my God, Y/N!” You look up to see Leah heading straight for you. As she opens up her arms to you, you can’t help but be mesmerised at how gorgeous she looked. Even after playing 90 minutes of gruelling football. It’s only when she gives you a concerned look that you snap back to reality and give her the hug she’s been waiting for. 

“You played amazing today, y'know,” you mumbled into her neck.

“I know,” she says with a smirk. You quickly shove her away with an unimpressed look. “Ok, ok, sorry,” Leah watches fondly as you roll your eyes at her before starting to walk around the stadium, thanking the fans. 

Katie and Jen watch the interaction shaking their heads.

“When are they going to realise they’re in love with each other?” Katie asks, slightly frustrated. Ever since you had joined Arsenal two years ago the pair of you had been crushing over each other, neither wanting to make the first move. It was actually quite annoying for the rest of the team, watching you guys dance around your feelings. Of course, there were multiple bets going on about when you were going to get together and who was going to make the first move. 

“I don’t know, they might never,” Jen says with a light shrug.

“Well, we can’t let that happen,” Jen looks at Katie, mildly surprised by her statement.

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve got 10 pounds on them getting together before the end of the season,” Katie replies. 

A couple days later, there was a team bonding night at Viv and Beth’s. You weren’t particularly fond of social interaction. It was weird, why would you go watch a movie at someone else's house and have to share snacks when you can just watch that same movie at your own place while having all the snacks to yourself? As you approach the door you hear a shout from behind you. 

“Oi! Y/L/N!” You're not surprised when you turn around to Katie jogging to catch up with you.

“What do you want?” You don’t intend to sound so annoyed but it just slips out.

“What’s got your knickers in a bunch?”

“Sorry, sorry, what’s up?” You say with a sigh.

“Actually, I think I might know why you’re so moody lately,” there’s a hint of mischief in her voice and you don’t like it at all. You gesture for her to continue as you both stop outside of the door. “Does it have anything to do with a certain English blonde who might also be the captain?” Your eyes widen as she continues speaking, “I mean everyone knows you're in love with her and that she’s in love with you so, it would really be better if you fessed up before the end of the season. For everyone.” 

“Wait, wait did you say Leah was in love with me?” 

“Yeah. It’s pretty obvious.”

“No, no way. There’s no way someone like that likes me. I mean, she’s way out of my league,” you scoff. 

Katie laughs, “Okay, Y/N, I know you don’t think very highly of yourself, but you’re actually kinda hot.” The look of bewilderment on your face has the Irish woman chuckling to herself as she knocks on the door. As it swings open you’re met with the rather grumpy looking Viv. 

“Catch yourself on, Viv, neither you or Y/N look very happy to be bonding,” Katie says, rather loudly. Viv gives you a soft smile before letting the pair of you in. 

“Not that happy to be doing this either?” Viv whispers into your ear. She gets her answer when you give her a look of “are you kidding, look at me.” 

As the night progresses, you are actually enjoying yourself. There were a lot of games and laughing. Despite this, you can’t get your previous conversation with Katie out of your head. Did Leah actually like you? Should you make a move? No, that’s a bad idea, there’s no way Leah frickin’ Williamson likes you. Because of this you expertly avoid Leah all night. The captain can’t act like this doesn’t hurt her a little bit. She tries to rack her brain about what she possibly could have done to offend you. Beth had been giving her sympathetic looks every time she tried to talk to you and you completely shut her down. Leah was starting to get angry, she hadn’t done anything. Not anything she could remember, anyways. So, as Beth started to usher people out of the house, sensing Viv’s social battery depleting, Leah watched with irritation as you got into your car and drove away. No words being spoken between you and her the entire night. She jumps when a hand lands on her shoulder, turning around to see an apologetic looking Beth behind her. 

“It’s okay Leah, maybe she just wasn’t feeling well or something,” her friend says.

“Yeah, maybe,” Leah huffs out. 

“You have to tell her about your feelings,” Beth reasons, trying her damndest to get her friend and teammate to finally tell you that she was in love with you. Walking to her car, Leah whispers to herself, “There’s no way someone like that, likes me.”

The entire drive home and the entire time she’s getting ready for bed, Leah’s thoughts are on you. Did you actually like her? Should she tell you? No, that’s a bad idea. Is it? Before she has time to second guess herself, Leah grabs her car keys and starts making the drive to your flat. It isn’t until she’s standing outside your door that she realises how terrible of an idea it actually is. She’s just about to turn and walk away, when the door opens. You look up startled by the blonde’s presence, “Leah! What are you doing here?”

Leah feels a blush creeping up her neck as she responds, “Um, I came by too, y’know, like talk or something.” Or something? God she was such an idiot sometimes. Now it’s your turn to blush as you open the door to her, motioning for her to come in. 

“S-Sure, come in,” you reply nervously. The second Leah fully enters your flat she’s engulfed by your scent. “Do you wanna sit or something?” You try your best not to stop your hand from shaking from nerves. Leah sees this and all she wanted to do was take your hand in hers and hold you until you stopped shaking. But, she couldn’t do that, not yet, not when she wasn’t sure if you were mad at her or not. The pair of you fidget nervously for a couple seconds in an awkward silence. Finally Leah breaks it,

“Are you mad at me or something?”

“What? No, why would I be?” Your confused face sets something off inside Leah.

“You didn’t speak to me at all tonight, you didn’t even want to sit beside me!” She has no idea why her voice raised so quickly, she has no idea why she’s so mad at you. The look of hurt that comes across your face makes her want to go die in a hole.You mumble something incoherent. “What did you say?” You take a deep breath before meeting her eyes. God, you could just get lost in those blue eyes forever.

“I don’t know why I was ignoring you,” You say unshakily.

“You don’t know?” Leah replies, clearly not satisfied with that answer, “You don’t know or do you not want to tell me?” The hard glare she has on her face is enough to send your eyes back down to the floor, suddenly finding the hole in your sock very interesting. “Answer me Y/N,” it sounds like a command. Then, after a beat, she uses a much softer tone, almost like she’s begging you, “Please, answer me Y/N.”

“Because…” 

“Because…?” The silence is deafening. Leah decides she has finally had enough and slowly starts to turn and walk away when you say in a very loud and clear voice,

“Because I love you for God sake! I love how much passion you have for football. I love how you and your mum are like best friends. I love how whenever there are kids around you make it your mission to play with them. I love how intense and serious you look on the pitch. I love how you are insanely clingy when you're tired or drunk. I love how your tongue always sticks out a little when you’re doing your sudoku’s. I love everything about you, big and small. Sometimes I feel like I love you more than I love myself. Because I fucking love you, Leah,” your voice gets quieter at the end of your confession. Leah freezes, not saying anything for a couple seconds. You take this as her answer, shoulders sagging as you mumble out a quiet apology. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. This night was officially the worst.

Just as you start to turn away Leah grabs your hand, pulling you into a searing kiss. It takes you a second to fully register what’s happening, but when you do you immediately kiss her back. After air becomes a necessity you pull away, leaning your foreheads together. 

“I love you too,” Leah whispers against your lips.

“Yeah, I think I got it,” you say with a giggle. Leah rolls her eyes and pushes you away. 

“No, no come back,” you plead with her, slowly connecting your lips as you pull her closer to you. “Do you wanna stay here tonight?” All Leah does in response is hum against your lips with a smile.

You definitely were happier than you’d been in a long time, and so was Katie a couple days later after realizing she was ten pounds richer.

[pixiesfz]

Hey! I was wondering if I could do a UCLA!jessie smut? Where the reader isn’t a virgin per se but maybe has never used a strap on or anything like that and is rlly innocent and needs a hand with that stuff? If not that’s chill too😊

the way I asked that was so strange 😭

ohhhhh fuck yes.

something new j.f x r

plot: Jessie wants to try something new in the bedroom and doesn't know how to tell you

warning: fluffy smut

Jessie was very smart, she was very good in school and always had been. She ran laps around you, especially in Science, and as her personal girlfriend, you used it to your advantage, stealing her notes every so often and asking her questions at 2 in the morning that you knew she would answer.

Except for the last week Jessie had been distracted...

You didn't know what from, You both had to leave for the Olympics to represent your countries soon and it was your senior year, you assumed she was stressed.

You walked into her dorm with your books for science as she was stuck on her phone, an unusual sight.

"Hey" You smiled, walking in the door as the girl quickly dropped her phone, a blush spreading over her cheeks "Hey" she said after and you furrowed her brows.

You settled your books down at her desk "I saw you were off in class today so I tried really hard to take down notes, and I voice recorded sir's class so we could go over it" you explained, flipping through your pages.

"You did that for me?" Jessie asked, standing up and walking over to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind.

You looked up to her "I assumed your mind was running lately and I didn't want to add any stress" you smiled and the girl squeezed you tighter to her.

"I hadn't even realized I was doing that," Jessie said, kissing you on the cheek before checking your notes.

"They're not the best-" "I love them," Jessie said, her chin digging into your shoulder "I love you" you smiled "I love you too".

Jessie was mentally yelling at herself.

She had many friends, as well as you on the UCLA team but some were closer than others, meaning some were more invested in your relationship than others.

It wasn't until a certain Australian goalkeeper got nosy and started teasing Jessie that she came to an understanding.

It was at a party, you had gone back to the Netherlands to see your family for the weekend and Teagan had taken Jessie to a frat party, which she spent the whole time checking her phone from a message from you and drinking random drinks that her friends told her to try out of boredom.

"How are you and y/n?" Teagan asked and Jessie blushed, causing the Australian to roll her eyes playfully "We're good" Jessie replied

"Just good?" Teagan teased and Jessie groaned "what? do you want me to say we're getting married?"

"maybe"

The two girls laughed "What about you Miss I get so many girls" Jessie shot back at her friend who smirked "Oh well I leave all my 'relationships' satisfied" Jessie almost spat out her drink from laughter in disbelief "It's true" Teagan told her "especially when I bring out the strap" Teagan smirked and Jessie looked at her.

"You use a strap?"

Teagan nodded "you don't?" she asked and Jessie shook her head, shocking Teagan "really?" once again Jessie shook her head "I guess we've just never thought about it"

Teagan not long after found a girl to take home sending Jessie a large gestured wink before leaving.

Jessie's mind had been spiraling ever since.

She imagined you under her, taking in her strap for the first time, the noises you could make under her drove her crazy.

Every time you made a sound that could be equivalent to a moan, grunt or even just you saying her name softly made her have to squeeze her legs together in class. There was no way that she could pay attention in class when you constantly leaned your head back out of frustration of not getting the work, which usually Jessie would help with.

She didn't know how to bring up this new issue she had with you, she didn't know how you would react or even if you would like it. Her imagination of bending you over pieces of furniture in her dorm were driving her mad and if she asked you and you said no, she didn't know how she would react.

So maybe not telling you would be a good idea.

But now you were looking at her with a glint in your eye and she felt like she was about to combust.

"Are you okay?" You ask your girlfriend who had a small blush painted on her cheeks "yeah I'm fine" she told you but you shook your head "Are you worried for the Olympics?" you ask and the brunette shook her head "not particularly"

You nodded your head slowly, trying to read if your girlfriend was telling the truth "well if it's not the Olympics what's up?

Jessie looked at you before looking at a plastic bag she had in the corner and looked back to you.

"It is the Olympics actually"

You rolled your eyes "liar" you pointed at her chest "what it is Canada has a good chance and what if we verse each other?"

You pushed your girlfriend towards her bed "then we try our hardest, like we talked about before I went home last week" you aid calmly before she sat down, her hands resting on your waist.

"I guess I'm just frustrated" Jessie sighed, her eyes settling on the piece of skin her hands were brushing over.

You smirked, looking down on your girlfriend "sexually?"

Jessie's face burned, how did you know?, did you guess? Had you somehow read her mind and knew she wanted to pound into you until you didn't have enough energy to speak english?

well maybe that took it a bit far...

Jessie was always an over thinker.

You grabbed your girlfriends chin to look up to you "well are you?" you ask and the Canadian nodded.

"Jessie, you know you can get me into bed easily" you smirked, plopping down next to her, one of your legs wrapping around her own "I know it's just-" Jessie stopped herself as you leaned into her "what is it Jess?"

You knew you could get anything out of her by using that small nickname.

"I want to try something new" she stated softly and you sat up, an eager smile on your face "really?" you ask and she nodded "I just wasn't sure how to approach it"

You nodded, softly kissing your girlfriends lips "we have a safe place here Jess, anything we do or say stays with us" you told her and she nodded saying a small 'okay' before turning to you "can we just get into the vibe first?" she asked and you smiled nodding, softly pushing your girlfriend down into the bed before straddling her lap "like this?"

"this works" Jessie smiled before you leant down, capturing her in a kiss.

You grew wet at her words when she said she wanted to try something new, excited by the thought and intrigued.

As you kept kissing her, slightly grinding your hips into hers you felt her hand sneak up your shirt, her hands playing with your boobs since you came in your pajama's.

"I want" Jessie said as you pulled away slightly, just enough so she could get her words out "I want to fuck you with a strap?"

Jessie leaned back to see your reaction, her eyes trying to find an answer before you spoke.

You smiled before nodding "I'd like that" Jessie smiled "yeah?" and you kissed her lips again "yeah, I trust you with anything"

You saw the girl quickly look to the bag in the corner again "Did you buy one?" you ask and the girl shyly nodded "Do you want to try it tonight?" you ask and she nodded again, more eagerness in this one as you hopped off of her.

"Show me it" you said as the girl got up, grabbing the bag before sitting back down on the bed with you "having it out in the open?" you tease

"you act like you aren't the only person I let in here"

You both smiled as she pulled it out, a black harness with a fairly shaped purple strap latched onto it "My favorite colour" you praised before pulling her into a kiss.

Pulling away Jessie pointed at you "we can't go straight in" she said and you nodded "Good cause I thought that might hurt" you agreed, letting the girl switch positions with you, her on top of you now.

"Do you know how to use it?" You asked and she nodded "I uhm- I watched some video's" she cringed at her own sentance before you looked back to when you came inside "Where you watching porn before I got here?" you asked and the girl turned red "shut up" you laughed "you do love to learn" you hummed as your girlfriend leaned in "at least I can teach you now".

Your tops had been abandoned now on the floor as Jessie's lips trailed down your stomach, her fingertips, tiptoeing around your waist band before you lifted your hips, telling her to take them off which she did before spreading your legs apart.

"I think you might be more excited for this than me" she teased, kissing the insides of your thighs You looked down at her "tease me too much and I'll make you wait another night for this" you quipped and the girl laughed, her breath hitting your heat, giving you slight friction you craved "alright, alright" she said before letting her tongue run through your folds, a moan falling through your lips from the impact.

"so good" Jessie moaned from her place beneath you, slowly adding a finger in as her tongue lapped over your clit "just open up for me baby" she told you, her other hand reaching out to hold your boob, using it as a stress toy.

"You can add a second" you whined as Jessie started to increase her speed, obliging your request and adding a second "fuck Jessie" you moaned, your hand reaching out to her hair, keeping her in place as she started to curl her fingers, hitting your G spot.

You were a moaning mess, as Jessie sent you praises "good job baby, just like that" as if you were doing the hard work "Jess s'm so good" you moaned, tugging at her hair which only made her go in harder.

You felt the coil in your stomach tighten as your breaths became faster, your first orgasm building "I'm gonna-" "I know baby let it go"

It was quickly after that you came over Jessie's fingers, the girl spreading your juices all over you, preparing you.

"Fuck you are so good at that" you told Jessie who blushed, bringing you into a kiss so you could taste yourself, both of you moaning at the contact.

Jessie pulled away, standing up as you watched in anticipation of her taking off her joggers and boxers, pulling the strap up her legs before grabbing another cream out of the bag "supposed to make it go in easier" she said "Jessie I know what lube is" you smirked.

Your breath hitched as you saw your girlfriend apply it on the strap, making it look like she was stroking her own cock, turning you on ten times more than you already were.

When Jessie climbed back onto the bed she looked down at you "not even sure we needed that baby, you are so wet" she gawked and you smiled, pulling her down into another kiss "just for you".

Jessie positioned herself with the tip to go inside of you, holding the strap with one hand and your hand with the other.

"Okay big stretch" she said as she slowly went into you, your breath hitching as you squeezed her hand before she fully went in.

She left it in for a moment, leaving small kisses around your chest "you're doing so well for me" she told you as you felt normal again "you ready?" she asked and you nodded.

Jessie slowly moved in and out as your eyes rolled back out of pleasure "Jessie please" you whined as you decided you were ready to go faster which she did "fuck" she breathed out, also getting pleasure off of it.

When Jessie decided to pull out further before entering back into you, you moaned loudly, sending Jessie into a high as she did it again, harder and faster as you were practically screaming out her name.

For the first time Jessie was happy she had an alone dorm near nobody else's.

Your nails were scratching along her back as you both were moaning each others names "fuck Jessie I'm coming" you whined, your pitch going higher as she pounded into you harder, her name falling off your tongue with profanities until you finally snapped, Jessie slowed down her movements letting you get off your high before you pulled away, her slipping out of you easily.

Both of you were capturing your breaths with smiles before Jessie pulled the strap off her body and cuddled into you.

When you finally got your breath back you pulled your girlfriend into a kiss "Jessie" you said and the girl hummed

"The next time you want to try something new, don't wait a week to tell me"

[outsideratheart]

Trust These Hands (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: Still riding the high that is the champions league final! 

2-0 down at the end of the first half wasn’t how you expected the final to go. Barcelona couldn’t seem to find the back of the net no matter how many shots they take and Wolfsburg proved that they only need one chance to score. As you made your way towards the tunnel there are four people you wanted to talk to and that was your defence but Alexia walks towards you, stopping her warm up as she does so. You know she means well but when you feel her hand on your shoulder you shrug it off. You didn’t need comforting right now, you needed to know what that hell happened in the last 45 minutes.

“Are you fit?” You ask Lucy as she sits in her locker. You voice isn’t loud, in fact no one other than the players to either side of her can hear what you are saying.

“I—“ She hesitates so you crouch down enough that you are at her level “It’s my fault” it was a whisper, one which let’s you know she is disappointed with her performance.

“No Luce, it’s mine” you go the drinks cooler and get the both the defender and yourself a bottle of water, the team now aware of the conversation that is taking place between the two of you “Once her foot struck the ball it was on me. It is goalkeeper’s job to save the shot, it’s cruel but it’s the job”

“But Pajor got past me” 

“How about we both go out there with a fresh slate” 

The English defender nods her head in agreement and it gives you faith going into the second half. Unbeknownst to you Alexia watches and listens to the interaction. Since coming to the club you have unintentionally taken a captain’s role given your experience but she knows right now you needed to know it wasn’t your fault just as it wasn’t Lucys.

You almost felt lonely as you sit in your locker listen to Jona’s strategies for the second half. Being a goalkeeper was a tough job and it was one that most people never experienced. Barcelona needed to score in the second half, that much was obvious but those goals would mean nothing if  you didn’t stop Wolfsburg from putting the ball in the back of the net. 

“- If anyone can come back from this it is us” 

Alexia was now speaking and you had been too deep in your own head to realise. It wasn’t the mindset you needed to have so you quickly try to come up with a game plan, one which can give you a little bit of control going back out onto the pitch.

“Y/N” now she was in front of you and you didn’t even hear her coming. Something else you failed to pick up on is that you are the last two in the locker room.

Pity; that is the look in her eyes. Throughout the season there were some tough games. She remembers how you where when you got back from Germany after playing Bayern but even then you didn’t have the defeated posture you currently have.

“Mi corazón”

She knew how much you loved the nickname she gave you shortly after you asked her to officially be your girlfriend. The term of endearment warmed your heart but there was no place for that right now. You didn’t need a warm heart, you needed fire in your belly and ice in your mind. 

“I can’t do this, not with you” you pull on your gloves and make your way towards the door “Are you coming?” You ask her.

“But you just said—“ 

“I love you but I don’t need my girlfriend right now, I need my captain”

The two of you walk down the tunnel side by side with little to nothing been said. Alexia didn’t know what to say, well she did but it wouldn’t be of any use. You held the weight of the club on your shoulders in every game you play but today was different, today a champions league title was on the line and you refused to admit defeat when there was still 45 minutes left play.

Just before you step onto the pitch Alexia grabs your wrist and turns you to face her one last time.

“You are the best goalkeeper on that pitch” she was fully aware what her words meant. You weren’t just playing any team in Europe, you were playing Wolfsburg. The team that all but told you that you weren’t good enough to play for them and so far you were proving them right. 

“But” for a brief second you let Alexia see your vulnerability that came in the form of doubt.

“No” she now places her hands on your shoulders “you are Y/N Y/L/N. You are going to go out there and protect your goal. I trust these hands, the team trusts these hands and the fans trusts these hands. Do you?”

When you nod your head a smile tugs at alexia lips and almost by instinct as similar one appears on your face.

“Good now go show them what I see everyday” 

The two of your briefly hug just like any other team mates would before you run towards your goal which much to your dismay was right near the Wolfsburg fans. They cheer as you stand tall in your box. You’re not sure if it is out of respect for all you had given to their beloved club or if it was some kind of mind game. Either way you chose to ignore it.

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Patri had scored twice within the space of two minutes and it took everything in you not the run the length of the field to celebrate with the team. Instead you saw a few Barcelona fans sitting behind your goal so you celebrate with them. The game was tied and you knew that you couldn’t afford to make any mistakes and neither could your back line. 

With every pass of the ball, the minutes pass by and despite both teams greatest efforts the game remains 2-2. Extra time was more or less the same. Both teams were getting tired and even though shots were taken no player was able to find the back of the net. 30 minutes later the referee blows her whistle; the final was going to penalties. In your eyes it was no longer Barcelona vs Wolfsburg, it was you versus Merle Frohms. 

You weren’t nervous. Being nervous came for one of two reasons: either you were unprepared or because you were doubting yourself. Neither of those two things applied to you right now in this moment. You knew this team like the back of your hand and you had spent hours over the years helping them perfect their penalties. 

Alexia leaves the group to do the coin toss to determine which side of the pitch the shootout will take place and which team will take the first penalty. You and a few of the other players watch the captains hoping to see what the decision will be. When you see Svenja turn her attention to you it is obvious that she is trying to get a read on you to see which decision you would prefer, deep down she already knows the answer.

“We want to go second” the Wolfsburg captain tells the referee.

Now it was up to Alexia to decide which end. She knows which she would prefer as one is closer to the Barcelona fans but still she turns to you. She is asking which side you want to play at. You tilt your head to the left side of the pitch, the one that Alexia too wanted to play at.

Shootouts were lonely for goalkeepers. Each team had split into to groups: those on the pitch near the halfway line and those on the bench that watch in anticipation with the staff knowing the final is out of their hands. 

You stood to the side by yourself as you watch Pina step up to take the first penalty. It was a lot of pressure for the young forward but she hit the side netting with ease. As Sveindis Jonsdottir took the ball from the referee you tried your best to see if anything about her body language gave her away. You didn’t know the forward that well given that she signed for the club when you were injured. She is right footed so you dive to the left, it was a well known tactic but the ball just slips past your fingers. 

Frido scored her penalty and you didn’t doubt her for a second. The moment you saw her step up you almost felt bad for Frohms, she didn’t stand a chance. Ewa Pajor was next for Wolfsburg and you could see the nerves radiating off her. You knew exactly where she was going but at the last minute she slices the ball, instead of it going in the bottom corner it goes to the top but your quick reflexes allow you to leap into the air and tip the ball of the top of the goal. 

Barcelona now had the upper hand, it just had to stay that way and they would be crowned champions.

Patri is up next and you know where she is going because she had a similar placement to Pina, only her target was the other side of the goal. The speed in which she takes the penalty leaves Frohms frozen in her spot but the ball hits the post and goes wide. Patri looks at you and mouths  I’m sorry. You use your index finger and tilt you chin up, a way of telling her to do the same. Now it was the captain’s turn. Svenja was someone you knew very well and you knew that she had multiple shots in her arsenal. In that moment you try your best to remember the average placement of her shots but it is no use. Although you dive the right way, her shot hits the back of the net.

It is a small shock when you see Mapi step up to the spot next. You thought Barca would go attackers first given that they take the most shots on a daily basis but you trusted Mapi to score and she did. Obi steps up for Wolfsburg and unlike her team mates thus far she keeps ahold of the ball and looks you directly in your eye. You and her had a bond and you hated that you were now facing off against each other but you had a job to do and so did she. She always shoots left and you knew that she wouldn’t risk going against what she knows or at least that’s what you think. She shoots down the middle but my some miracle the ball hits your foot before hitting the cross bar. Obi had missed.

The whole stadium erupted at what was one of the best penalty saves they have seen. As you walk back towards the side you encourage the crowd to make some noise. It was now 3 penalties scored to 2 in favour of Barcelona with only one round left. 

Alexia was the fifth penalty taker. She was Barcelona’s penalty taker. As she steps up to the penalty spot she looks to you. She was nervous, it wasn’t a common sight and suddenly the confidence you felt only seconds ago faded. You nod your head and she does the same.

With the crowd silent, Alexia readies herself. If she scores then Barcelona win. 

She misses.

And now you felt the pressure and what’s worse is you knew who was taking Wolfsburg’s last penalty. It was your best friend, Alexandra Popp.

It all came down to this. If Alex scores then Wolfsburg wins but if you save it then Barcelona win. 

Popp walked at a snails pace and it allowed you to gather your thoughts. You needed to disassociate the shot with the result. It needed to be you and her. The crowd needed to be blocked out and you had to ignore your team mates watching from the half way line. 

What you didn’t expect was for Alexia to have her back turned. She couldn’t bring herself to watch the final shot. Was it because she blamed herself or because she didn’t have faith in you to save Popp’s shot. 

“Alexia” Frido taps the captain on her shoulder “Y/N is looking at you, you need to face her. You need to trust her”

Just as the swede said Alexia turned around to see you looking directly at her. 

“Trust those hands” The brunette whispers.

She sees you clap your hands hard and wonders if you somehow heard her.

“I trust my hands” Without realising it you had replied to Alexia even though the both of you were none the wiser.

Top corners. It was risky but Popp loved top corners for Penalties. You knew this and she knew you knew this. 

Left or right.

It was a decision you had to make in split second.

Left or right.

Popp took her shot with pin point accuracy. 

You could hear a pin drop in the stadium as they watched ball fly through the air almost as if it was in slow motion. You reaction isn’t the best and it makes your job that much harder but you use every ounce of strength you had to launch yourself to the top left corner. The ball hits your gloves and goes wide.

You had spent the shoot out near the fans so they are the ones you run too, not your team. It was also a way to take the celebration away from your former club. You may have just won the champions league but you didn’t want to rub salt in the wound.

Within what feels like seconds you are surround by the rest of the team. All them of the patting you on the back, hyping you up, them all knowing that you have just won them the champions league.

“I could kiss you but I think someone else might want to” Mapi wraps her arms tightly around your neck.

Behind her you could see Alexia celebrating with some of the staff. It was obvious that she was keeping her distance from you but you wouldn’t allow it. 

Once you are let go by Mapi you make a bee line towards your girlfriend. 

“Do I not even get a smile?” You poke her cheeks playfully which immediately causes Alexia to smile.

“I missed” There it was.

“We won”

“I missed” she repeated herself and you could tell it was an apology.

“I saved. We won. We are Champions. We can obsess over it later, I promise”

She doesn’t reply straight away. Alexia looks at you, not caring that she is staring or that she is making is blatantly obvious.

“We are champions”

“Yeah we are”

The two of you join in with the dancing around and singing before the team is called over to collect their medals and lift the trophy. What does comes as a shock is that when Alexia is walking over with the trophy she signals you to move forward so that you can lift it together. At first you refuse, you weren’t a captain, it wasn’t your place but then she stands in her place with a look on her face that tells you she won’t take a no for an answer. You more than happily admit defeat and alongside your captain and girlfriend you lift the trophy, basking in the sound of the cheering fans.

“Look after this for me” you hand Alexia your medal after the celebration have died down ever so slightly.

“Why?” The Catalonian takes it from you and places it around her neck. She watches as you walk towards your former team mates.

Alexia knew this game was personal for you. It was your chance to show Wolfsburg that they made a mistake in letting you go but she also knew how much you loved your former team mates and how difficult it was leaving them. 

You sit down next to Popp, holding her tightly as you let her cry into your shoulder. Only ten months ago the two of you were in the same position on the pitch at Wembley comforting each other and now one of you had just been crowned champion whilst the other had just had their dream destroyed. 

Alexia watches as you console you friends. The night prior the two of you couldn’t sleep so you went for a walk and you ended up at Philips Stadion. She asked how you felt about going up against your former club. You told her that you found the thought of celebrating their loss hard and that when you won you would take some time to be with them because they were like your family. Alexia understood and agreed to make sure your team mates gave you space to do so on the one condition that you come back to her. It was an promise you found easy to make.

She remembers her words when she sees Aitana running towards you with a flag in her hand. The captain tells her team mate to give you space and after arguing at first the girl does as she’s told but she keeps the flag for when she come back to the team.

“I knew her coming here would be good” Caro tells her captain.

“She proved today why she has the right to be considered one of if not the best goalkeepers in the world” 

“Right because your admiration is only for when she’s wearing the #1 shirt” 

“You know it’s not” Alexia didn’t like talking about her relationship, neither of you did but Caroline knew more than most. She is one of your closest friends and in being that it also mean that she was the person Alexia went to when she wanted to know something about you.

“I do and I saw you stop Aitana from going over but I think it’s time you did” Caro points in your direction. You were no longer talking to any of your friends, instead you had been collared by your former manager Tommy Stroot.

Stroot was one of the reasons for your transfer. He was adamant that Frohms was the best option for the team and his lack of trust in your ability was the first time you felt under valued at the club. The way you spoke about him and what he told you led to Alexia gaining a strong dislike for the man. 

“Maybe we should have kept you around. You —“

You counted to ten and then ten again as your former manger spoke. You had no loyalty to the man and now was your chance to speak your truth but before you could you were beaten to it.

“You should have” Alexia comes out of nowhere. She stands by your side. Her hand with a firm grip on your waist “You made the biggest mistake of your career and it led to one of the best transfers Barcelona could and will every make. This woman right here just won us the champions league” Alexia uses the opportunity to place the medal back around your neck “You failed to see what she is capable of. I, along with everyone in Barcelona, should thank you. Because of your arrogance and blindness we got Y/N Y/L/N. If you still had her then you might have one of these. Now if you listen closely you will hear that the fans are singing for her and she would hate to let them down, wouldn’t you?”

“I really would” you place your arm around Alexia’s shoulder  “I wish I could say it’s been pleasure Tommy but it really hasn’t” 

You and Alexia make your way back to the team. Not caring what Tommy Stroot was saying.

“What was that about?” You nudge her playfully.

“You told me what he said about you, how he made you feel and I wasn’t going to let him get away with that” 

Alexia’s protective side wasn’t a rare sight. You had seen is a few times over the past few months but it never came out this publicly and her anger has never been directed towards the manager of one of Europe’s biggest clubs.

“You are not only one of the best players in the world, you are are one of the most amazing human beings and you just saved three penalties in a shoot out to determine the champions league. I will never make you feel the way he did. You will always know your worth with me and when you are unsure, I’ll show you”

Your girlfriend had this soft side which very few people got to see but every time you saw it it made you fall more in love with her.

“You’ll show me huh?” 

Her eyes darkened and you knew she picked up on what you were insinuating.

“I will. Just you wait until we get back to Barcelona, then we can really celebrate” you leaned forward so she could whisper in your ear.

She was teasing and she saw the way you chest moved that your breathing had quickened but you could play this game just as good as she could.

“What if I don’t want to wait that long?” 

Alexia pulled back and you noticed her eyes had darken. A smirk grew on your face knowing that you had won this little back and forth. 

Just as she is about to respond you are called our by the younger players. 

“Time to celebrate Alexia. We can’t wait all night now can we”

You run over to where Jana and Bruna are jumping around as they take in the atmosphere. You happily join in and the joy only increases as Alexia joins in. The celebrations continue in the locker room, on the coach and then on the plane but the best part of the celebrations happen once you and Alexia get back to her apartment.

[httpswritings]

The Goalkeeper's Duty — Misa Rodríguez x Reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 645

Summary: Your love for Misa.

A/N: I really wanted to write for Misa but never got an idea to begin with. She's so stunning and her accent is so beautiful 💗

You'd never expected to fall for a Real Madrid player, especially the goalkeeper.

Every time you scored a goal against Real Madrid, you felt as if you wanted to throw up.

You had grown up being a huge Barça fan but still fell for your rival goalkeeper's charm.

You weren't quite sure when that happened; maybe it did when you spent time with Misa during Spanish National Team camp. You discovered how outgoing and funny she was, always teasing you for the slightest things but still being sweet towards you. 

The more time you spent with her, the more you wanted to know about her life, her family, and her place of birth. You even made the effort to watch some Real Madrid men's matches with her, and eventually you found yourself watching her play any time you could on your computer or phone.  

You both loved and hated to play against her. You were excited to be in the same place as her, but you felt completely defeated when you saw her devastated after playing against your team, even if you had won the game.

That's why you decided to break up. It was consuming you both and affecting your professionalism. How could it not? You would see your girlfriend on her knees crying, and you couldn't do anything, at least in public. 

You had remained friends with her even if you knew that you could never see her as one.

And you reaffirmed that when you had to play against her in the Spanish Supercopa's semifinal, ending the match by scoring two goals and being chosen as the MVP.

You were greeting every Real Madrid player after the match until you got to her.

Misa smiled at you, but in her eyes, you could only see guilt and shame.

You pulled her in for a hug and whispered in her ear, “God forbid me for saying this about Real Madrid, but I have wouldn't minded you stopping my goals.”

She laughed, “I thought you bleeded Barça.”

Back when you were together, you both loved to tease each other about your respective teams.

That playfulness was probably what had you hooked on your relationship's dynamic.

Playing against your lover's team and then spending the night with her. 

“You know I bleed Barça, but I lov— I have so much respect for you.”

You looked at her one more time and let her go as she went to quickly greet the rest of your teammates.

You decided to message her as you were completely sure of how hard she was on herself, especially the night after a defeat.

You had seen it after the defeat against Japan at the World Cup.

“Can I go to your place?”

You saw her typing every five seconds but not getting any response, so you tried to reassure her of your support and that you wanted nothing else but to be there for her.

“It's late and not safe. Let me drive to the hotel you're staying at, and then we can see what we do.”

Sneaking out of the hotel at almost 1 AM, you got into her car, laughing about how she was in her pyjamas.

“It's 1 AM; how did you expect me to be dressed up like?”

If you were being honest, you didn't want her in any clothes, not in a sexual way, though , but pure intimacy in the form of preparing her a bath where she could relax with you holding her in your arms.

A place where she didn't have to worry about Real Madrid and where you didn't have to worry about keeping up your team's name, even if that sounded hypocritical.

“Let's go home, Mimi.”

She smiled when you heard the nickname only you called her by, and that's when she realized you truly loved her for who she was.

[maxsimagination]

𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 - 𝘀.𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘆

summary: steph is the only person that can quell a panic attack on the field.

-> katie and caitlin are together in this, yes i know that katie’s corner goal wasn’t v aus but, we ball

𖦹 masterlist

"𝗛𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗨𝗣 𝗬𝗡, we're going to be late" katie called out to me. we had decided to walk to training, unsurprisingly this was katie's idea. i was a slow walker and katie had too much energy for 7:00 on a saturday morning.

"katie. i am not going any faster and this was your idea." i huffed towards the spritely katie and continued with my pace.

we finally make it to the camp and i'm dragged into the meeting room by, guess who, katie. we made it on time and the coach, vera pauw, starts her pre match day speech. we play an international friendly against australia tomorrow.

it took what felt like an hour for vera to finish but we all traipsed out onto the pitch afterwards and started our training.

me and katie were practicing our goal scoring, taking turns with our goalkeeper to shoot. but when i heard my name shouted out from the side of the pitch and turned to see vera, my stomach dropped. she had never been a big fan of me, and i'd never liked her way of coaching the team, but we kept it civil for the game.

i jogged over to her, "you want to talk to me?" "yes. i don't like the way you're scoring goals. you need to work harder." and with that she walked off.

i was left standing in the sidelines where she once was with a shocked expression and confusion coursing through me.

"how do you not like how i'm scoring goals? i thought that was the whole point of the game." i mutter to myself as i walked back to katie.

"what did she want?"

katie shared my disagreement with how vera worked, and often found herself telling her how to manage her own team. "wanted me to work harder." i grumbled out. katie just scoffed and assured me i was doing my best. we continued with practice and i was glad when it ended.

——

it was game day and in some ways, i was glad.

since it was australia we were playing, i got to see caitlin, kyra and my favourite, steph. we were all at arsenal together, along with katie, who hadn't shut up about getting to see caitlin again.

about an hour out from the game and we were in the changing rooms in our training shirts.

vera had put me in the starting lineup, which was surprising since she didn't like me. but i wasn't complaining about it and ran out onto the field with the rest of my teammates. we did our pre match warmup on our side of the field, and the aussies did theirs on the other. i was keeping an eye out for steph whenever i could, she was the only good thing about this match.

katie kept teasing me when che caught me staring, saying i should ask her out already.

"katie! i don't even know if she likes girls."

katie simply cocked an eyebrow at me and left it at that.

soon it was time for kickoff. i walked out behind katie, our captain, holding one of the young mascot's hands. once the game was underway i relaxed more. football was my passion and i enjoyed it too much to let people like vera ruin it for me. 

at half time it was till nil all, but we'd had a couple of shots at goal. i was confident we could at least get one point in this match. that confidence faded when vera pulled me to the side while the other girls walked into the changing rooms.

"i need to you to work harder. we have barely had the ball, and as a midfielder, your job is to get the ball back." she had a condescending tone and her stare was like ice. i just mumbled an ok before walking off to join the girls.

when we got back onto the pitch after half time, i turned out to be right. we'd managed to get a corner kick when the ball was kicked out from my feet in a foul slide tackle. katie took the shot, and in a miraculous fashion, she scored a goal straight from the kick.

everyone on our team was shocked and ecstatic while i ran up to her and jumped on her back. but our happiness didn't last for long when caitlin had the ball, passing it to sam kerr and she got a foot to it, scoring their first goal to equal the score.

by the end of the game, the aussies had one up on us, steph scored a goal right on the 90 minute mark. i was tired and my legs were aching, i'd been running after the ball for the whole game and still hadn't been given a rest. katie knew, she could see the fatigue in some of the other players too.

vera refused to swap anyone out, at least not yet, even after katie had all but begged her to sub some fresh legs on so we still had a fighting chance.

unfortunately, she didn't listen, and we were all forced to play on. i knew that was a critical mistake on vera's part because we were all trying our best with what we had left after 80 minutes. after the loss i lay on the pitch, eyes closed and hands over my face. i could still hear vera's voice from half time, telling me i wasn't good enough and i had to work harder.

my breathing picked up and my throat started to get smaller and it became harder to get air. the tears already formed in my eyes spilled over and ran down my cheeks.

i knew i was having a panic attack, i was prone to those if i overthought things. katie came up to me then, she had the most impeccable timing, and noticed the state i was in.

"shit, shit, shit. i'm gonna get steph."

she jogged away again and went to grab our arsenal teammate. neither me nor steph had admitted any feeling towards the other but we acted like an old married couple and she was the only person that had successfully been able to calm me down from a panic attack.

said woman appeared within seconds, kneeling next to me and grabbing my hands.

"yn, it's okay. listen to me. look at me, yn" i flick my eyes to her face. "tell me five things you can hear."

"t-the crowd, you, my heart beat, uh, i don't know." i mumble the last bit.

"good, that's good. four things you can see?"

"the sky, you, the grass and katie kissing caitlin." the last bit brings a tiny smile to my face.

"well done. three things you can smell?" she chuckles and asks me the next one.

"sweat, uh, the grass? and, uh, a little bit of your perfume."

"good, good. two things you can taste?"

"my tears and blood from my lip i was chewing."

"and one thing you can feel?"

"your hands."

my heart beat had calm down and my breathing returned to normal. steph pulled me up and into a hug.

"thankyou."

"for what, puddin'? i didn't do much." she smiled at me.

"for being my person."

[hjellacott]

Bit worried about Ashlyn Harris actually

Aside from all the drama that's been going on lately, I've got to confess that for the past few months (or years?) I've been wondering what the hell is up with this woman.

I was such a huge fan back when she was just this Satellite Beach goalkeeper with a humble head and the love for skate-boarding and surfing and you know, family & friends first and her work with To Write Love on Her Arms. And I get people change and that none of us ever really knew her, but I've seen I'm not the only one who can't believe what she's turned into. Like, can we recognise her any more? Or was the completely playing out to be an entirely different person ten years ago?

I think it started when she came out with Ali and suddenly she was like, this attention-seeking, uncomfortably loud (as in literally screaming) person with the weird, rather cringey fashion, only talking about gay things and nothing else, behaving like the complete soccer start that to be entirely fair she wasn't... Even on her wedding video I couldn't believe that Ashlyn was the same Ashlyn of 2011, 2012, 2013... It's not even that many years to change so much, let alone in your thirties. It's like there were no remnants of the surfer, the skate-boarder, the humble butch from a small town who valued the little things... Like she was adamant on transforming into this massively public, loud, "fashionable (?)" celebrity. Even when giving interviews she was expressing herself like she had no intellect any more, you know like male footballers speak, like it's all looks and no brain, no sign of the person who got a uni degree and who gave an amazing mental health talk with TWLOHA years back.

And then when they were celebrating the WC, I was thinking, since when is she this loud and arrogant? Since when is she so attention-seeking? When did she turn into this whole other person who makes such a huge effort to ignore her lack of National Team performances and pretend like she deserved her world cup as much as Ali or Pinoe? I get subs deserve the medal and all too, I mean, they made it so far and if they weren't there training with the rest, the rest wouldn't be as good. You're only as good as the worst of you, after all. But none of the others was bragging so loudly and calling themselves x2 champions so much without having played a minute of those games, were they? Even Alyssa Naeher doesn't have world cup champion in her profiles, nor does AD Franch, nor PINOE, but you know who does? Hope Solo. And you don't want to have THAT personality. I feel like when you're confident on your victories, you don't need to brag, everyone knows who you are, your work speaks for itself.

What worries me about AH (sit down here comes my Psychology Grad analysis) is that in the past few years she's been more and more behaving like someone with no self-esteem, who's desperately afraid of being forgotten and needing to shout left and right look at me! i'm a champion! I'm a soccer star! And then she stopped getting called up for the USWNT, got stuck in the Pride (and I love them but bunch of losers tbh), and all she had left was Ali. And then Ali's doing better than she is. And then Ashlyn gets these horrible injuries and that's story of her life (injuries effed her up from day 1 and seriously impacted her career) and she's forced into an abrupt retirement with no glory.

And then emerges this Ashlyn who only cares about rubbing elbows with celebs, who believes herself to be some fashion mogul (that's all she's got left) and who is deeply satisfied with how her life turned out to be and how she's ended up being nothing but a footnote in the history of American women's soccer, specially compared to her wife. We know they've had issues for a while, that has been hinted at before, and I can only imagine there must've been a growing resentment/bitterness towards Ali because she gets everything Ashlyn won't in terms of soccer. In fact it seems to me (and maybe it's just me), that she seems to be ferociously resentful to soccer in general, like, suddenly she wants nothing to do with it and wants to pretend like soccer is not a big deal. How many times as she stated quite firmly that she's now happiest she's ever been and acted almost as if soccer was actually holding her back? as if her soccer career is nothing compared with what she has now, when we know it isn't true, because she still feels the need to remind us she's a twice world cup champion all the time?

So from a psychology point of view I think she's very bitter, very hurt, very pissed off, very resentful, that she hasn't processed her forced retirement and her not so good soccer career in a healthy way, and so she has to pretend like she's super happy and better than she was before so as not to look like the failure she feels she is. She has to use social media all the time and brag about the celebrities she's meeting, the trips she's going in... She's got nothing else but to pretend she's still as successful as all her friends she has to constantly see in social media showing off with the accomplishments she wishes she had. It's the classic game of getting depressed comparing yourself to others so you take to social media to constantly pretend you're as good as them or better, we all do it. And she's gone, in my humble opinion, off the rails, she's unrecognaisable, and if she has really had an affair and hurt Ali this big, as rumours have it, then that only strengthens my opinion. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if she's abusing substances again, if she's in some spiral downhill as it looks like. And what's Ali going to do? She can't focus on looking after her, she's got work, she's got two small kids, at this age Ashlyn needs to see she needs help and seek it on her own, not expect Ali to mother her.

That's part of why I really don't like people going on and insulting her left and right, because we really don't know what's going on, but to me it seems like when someone's not well, when someone's spiralling, they start to really go off and the first people to get hurt are those closest to her. And we must remember she is a human being, even if she makes mistakes, even if she does bad things (IF she has), and she doesn't deserve billions of people judging her and making her life miserable. And none of us would like it in our consciences if she actually is struggling with her mental health and gets worse because of generalised mass bullying. She's still Sloane and Ocean's mother, and they probably love her very much, and Ali's probably struggling a lot, so we need to remember supporting one person does not have to mean stooping so low as to have to become horrible bullies. Let's stay human, y'all.