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milkweedman · 2 years ago

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hi, sorry if this is something you've answered before, but how did you get started with spinning? and do you have an reccs for beginners? i'm not a fiber arts person (yet) but i think the skills are mind-blowingly cool. i have a few friends that are into crochet also and while i don't do so i think it would be nice to be able to make them yarn etc :)! thank u <3

Hi ! I got started with spinning about 5 years ago now--I ordered a turkish spindle and some andean highland wool from knitpicks, tried it out, and really sucked.

Like. really sucked. couldn't even make bad yarn bc it just kept falling apart (due to undertwisting ! if your yarn is falling apart in your hands, it's undertwisted. there, i just saved you about a month of misery, if you're me lol). Put it away for a while, tried again, was still bad at it, rinse and repeat for about a year. eventually something clicked and i started being able to make more than like, an armspan of yarn before it became disastrous.

not saying it's that hard for everyone (i've watched some people pick it up in like... 5 minutes), or that it'll be that hard for you ! that's just how it went with me.

I do have some recs for beginners which will hopefully help ! (i didn't have this community on tumblr at the time, and didn't know there were forums on ravelry, so i had no community help or knowledge, which did not work in my favor).

Get a basic drop spindle with a hook on the end, if you can. Drop spindles come in many different forms, but the two main categories are top whorl and bottom whorl (meaning, where the circular whorl is placed on the shaft of the spindle). top whorl spindles spin faster but for a shorter period of time and can be more unbalanced. bottom whorl spindles spin slower but for longer, and are typically more balanced (physics, idk). everyone has their own preferences--i tend to recommend bottom whorl spindles to beginners because it kind of slows the process down, which can be helpful. if you've got a little extra money, buying a top whorl and a bottom whorl spindle could be a good idea. they're pretty cheap on etsy, esp if you get a very plain and simple one and just decorate it yourself.

spindle weight matters a lot. the heavier the spindle, the thicker the resulting singles will be. (singles are what you spin first, then you ply them together if desired). the lighter the spindle, the thinner the singles. this means if you get a very heavy spindle and try to spin something fine on it, it'll likely snap under the weight. and if you try to spin something thick on a light spindle, you'll be constantly flicking it and not adding very much twist (so it may just fall apart into sad fluff). my favorite all-purpose spindle for yarns that won't be particularly thin weighs about 2 ounces (55 grams). that will be too heavy for fine yarns, but works well for making like, worsted weight 2 ply. i would recommend a spindle somewhere in the 1-2 ounce range (30-55 grams) for a basic beginner spindle. once you get the hang of it feel free to go for the very light spindles or the heavier plying spindles.

don't buy roving for your first fiber. almost everyone does that, and many people end up with really low quality (and sometimes even compressed or partially felted) roving. roving can be great for spinning once you know what you're doing, but it's kind of... uniquely unsuited for beginners, in my opinion anyway. firstly because it is the most common preparation, it's not really treated with care by many companies when it comes to storage (hence the compression or felting). secondly, it's really easy to felt it in your hands when you're doing the beginner sweaty-hands-deathgrip-drafting-with-all-your-might thing (i'll get to that later). thirdly, again because it's the most common prep, there's a thriving market of garbage shitty roving, and it takes a little experience telling the difference between decent stuff and garbage stuff based on an internet page. I would highly recommend spending a little bit more money on a batt. this is like a large pillow of carded wool, which you pull strips off of to spin. they are sold in a far less-compressed state (which makes for easier spinning) and are, as far as im aware, made by humans with experience, rather than machines.

the breed matters a lot when it comes to spinning. some breeds have finer, more slippery wool, and some have grabby wool. grabby wool is better for learning (it means less of your yarn just slipping apart and breaking). some good beginner breeds are shetland, corriedale, jacob, romney, or other similar wools. the fiber market is inundated with merino (either a great thing or a source of misery, depending on who you ask), which is not a particularly good beginner breed (it's definitely on the slippery, finer side).

once you've got all your materials, it's spinning time ! find a youtube tutorial or a written tutorial (check your library for books on spinning. i have no recommendations--i did not learn from books). you could also check and see if there's a spinner's guild in your area. it depends on the guild (some are kind of, uh... snooty, for lack of a better word ? most seem pretty friendly and happy to help newcomers) but you might be able to show up to a meeting and get some help. ideally get some practice with the spindle first though.

lastly, some tips for spinning. A) keep the fiber supply held loosely in your hand, or better yet, draped over your hand so that the fiber you're drafting is only held in your fingertips. if you hold it tightly you won't be able to draft evenly. you may also compress and/or felt it by holding it, especially if your hands are sweaty. B) try spinning using the 'park and draft' method while you are learning. this is where you add a bunch of extra twist to the already-spun yarn (or leader, for the first length), pinch the twist to hold it in place, and draft fiber, allowing the twist to travel up the wool as you draft it. this is a good technique for learning because it isolates the actions of spinning, letting you focus on one part at a time. trying to keep the spindle going while drafting when you're brand new is not easy, and can lead to a lot of frustration and mistakes. once you've got the hang of drafting, then it's a great time to figure out how to do it all at once. C) work slowly and thoughtfully while you learn. what you're doing at first is twofold: you're figuring out the process and what works and what doesn't, but you're also building muscle memory, which is what spinners (really, pretty much everyone who practices hand crafts or hand work of any kind) rely on. i can get high af and zone out and spin and end up with a usable (sometimes even pretty good) yarn, because even when my brain isn't working, my hands know what to do. this is not the case for someone without the muscle memory. pay attention, step away if you get frustrated, and work slowly. as you build muscle memory, it will become easier and easier. D) your first yarns don't have to be good. they don't even really have to be yarn, as such--if you ended up with something thats rope at one end and thread at another, that's ok ! you're learning ! the purpose of your first yarns is just to teach you how to spin. if they look like shit, it's ok. (mine looked awful, for the record ! i don't think i've seen anything quite as bad as my very first yarn, actually. wish i'd kept it though xD)

hope this was helpful ! there's also this post about how to tell if your yarn is under or over twisted, which might be of use, and this post about finishing your yarn as well. and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me or another spinner (the overwhelming majority of us are very happy to help a new spinner) for advice or help !

#i have answered this before but i couldn't find the post sadly #anyway yeah ! good luck ! i believe in you !#spinning #advice

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khaleesiofalicante · 4 months ago

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Hey Dani,

Can I ask for some advice or maybe explanation. You had mentioned you got into consulting later on in your career.

Um at the risk of sounding stupid,

How?

How does one get into consulting?

Also what's freelancing and how is that different?

Also how does one start these things. Like are there forums that u just join? Is this like a job application? Do u need marketing for this? Like know how to market yourself?

Yours truly

A very confused early professional 🥺

No such thing as stupid questions in this household 😌

Let me take this one by one.

Firstly, freelancing and consulting are not the same, but they are kind of used simultaneously sometimes. They are both self-employed roles (where you can work with multiple people at the same time on a contractual basis). However, freelancing involves providing specific skills or services on a project basis, while consulting focuses on offering expert advice and strategic guidance.

For example, I am a freelance trainer. So people hire me when they need to do a training and I do that training and get paid for it. I get paid by the hour (or per workshop/assignment) for that. I don't have any other business than that. In the same way, you see freelance voice artists or translators or graphic designers, where you just go in and do one thing and get paid for it. You're not involved in the whole project or company or anything. This kind of work is idea if you're trying to make money and not get attached to the company/teams you work with.

Consulting is a more involved role. You're usually an advisor for a whole project so you're overseeing everything (but you're still not part of the organization or team). You're like an external person overseeing something in a specific capacity (gender in my case) and give advice on everything related to that. So for eg, I am a gender consultant for one organization and I basically not only do their gender training, but I also do their social media content, provide input on their strategies, etc.

I think what you are referring to and looking for is more of a freelance role than a consulting one because the latter can sometimes feel like a full-time job depending on how much work is there. The consulting jobs I do don't need me 24/7 and I work like twice a week so it's great for me. So whatever they need my advice on they have to ask me on those two days.

An important thing about doing freelance/consulting work is to set boundaries. I can do a separate post on that if necessary.

In terms of how do you become a consultant, a few things:

You need a brand. Like a niche thing. I can't tell you how to market yourself, but you need something to market yourself about. Like what are you offering? What is your area of expertise? Try to specialize on a particular area (but not too specific because then it's becomes difficult to find opportunities) so you can promote yourself based on that.

LinkedIn is a great place to boost yourself. Look at what other consultants in your area of work are doing. Follow organizations (depending on your sector of interest) that hire consultants. They ALL do. It's easier to pay someone to do a specific job than to train your employees to do it (which is sad tbh).

When you look for jobs set the type to 'consultancy' so you only find jobs that are consultancies (short-term/project-based opportunities).

Most important for consultancies and freelance work is word of mouth and a good reputation. I hardly apply for jobs anymore because once you become a consultant and create a reputation for yourself in a sector (it takes a few years trust me, I've been doing this since 2021 and I'm just now getting there), they will refer you to each other.

BUT - this depends on the sector you work in. If it's corporate, it's a bit difficult. Because they don't like hiring the same consultants as others because of competition. In this case, something that would REALLY help is a portfolio - it could be a website or a pdf document that people can look at - to see your approach, past work, credentials etc).

Overall, if you're an early career professional, I'd recommend that you find a good job where you can learn and build a reputation for yourself (like an org that allows you to thrive without being sucked into their overall company identity) so people know you and your work - not just as your company's work. In other words, work in a place that allows you to take credit for it. Then, once you become a mid-career professional, you can start doing consultancies. But again, this depends on your field. A lot of people, like designers, start off as freelance because it works better for their job. So, it's completely up to you.

Happy to answer more questions if you have them 💙

#support

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michellemisfit · 10 months ago

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Weekly Tag Wednesday ✈️ Neeeooow Edition

Thanks for the tag @deedala @energievie @sam-loves-seb @mybrainismelted @sleepyfacetoughguy @guinguin1984

—---------------------------

Name: Michelle

Age: Old enough to know better

Location: My bed, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket

📍where are we going? I wanna say Cape Cod, but it’s -3 there right now, so fuck that. Australia it is! 🦘

📍whats the weather like there right now? 22•C (feels like 24), according to Google

📍are you an over-packer or a light-packer? Over-packer, though I have also been known to pack 12 bras but not bring any pants… though these days I keep very detailed lists and get Ruth to double check my packing multiple times!

📍are we taking a plane or a train? If you can find me a train, I’ll take it! Hahaha but no. Neeeooow all the way! ✈️

📍early morning departure or an overnight trip? If we’re going to Australia it’s gonna be all of it. Loooong travel. I’m gonna watch so many movie and my butt is gonna go so numb!!

📍what song are you playing in the car while we drive to catch our departure?

📍we need to grab something on the way, starbucks or dunkin? Fucking Dunkin’ Donuts. The last time I was in the states we stopped at a Dunkin for donuts and were informed that they didn’t have any donuts… like, wtf? And then we found out that they are phasing out selling donuts. Like, double wtf?!? So yeah, Starbucks all the way.

📍we've made it to the transportation place 🚂✈️! be honest, are we on-time or are we rushing because we're running late? Always early. I’d rather spend an extra 3 hours in an airport McDonalds than be late for a plane. I get travel anxiety.

📍are you taking the window seat or the aisle seat? I like the aisle seat for the freedom to pee when I want, without annoying someone else! (This is gonna be everyone’s answer, isn’t it? haha)

📍we're settled in our seats, are you gonna read or watch a movie/show? Bit of both. I do like getting my money’s worth in beverages and free movies, so I try and watch and consume as many as possible. But sometimes my ears hurt from too much earbud wearing, so I switch to reading for a bit. Then back to movies!

📍what are you reading/watching? Generally all the movies I thought ‘oh, might go and see that’ in the cinema and never did. And then as we get closer to landing I will swap to a movie I know inside out, because it will inevitably cut off before I get to the end.

📍are you using wireless or wired headphones? Wired. I don’t fuck with pods.

📍are you going to take a nap or stay awake? I can sleep pretty much anywhere, but I get overtired and twitchy anxious on planes, so I’m not the best airplane sleeper.

📍do you want a salty snack or a sweet snack? Salty snack 90% of the time. However I also like bringing my own selection of snacks, so I’m not held to the whims of the airplane company! lol

📍we've arrived! are we heading straight to activities or are we gonna rest at the hotel? I actually don’t mind. I’ve gone straight from airports to restaurants, concerts, plays etc and it’s been fine. Make the most of the day you’ve got and all that. Depends on how much luggage I’ve got though.

📍finally, pick a treat to reward yourself for a travel day well done! A nice looooong sleep in a comfy bed!!!

Tagging @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @jrooc @heymacy @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @juliakayyy @crossmydna @rutherinahobbit @rereadanon @redshirt2 @crestfallercanyon @creepkinginc @captainjowl @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @ian-galagher @iansfreckles @ohkate @faejilly @palepinkgoat @sickness-health-all-that-shit @look-i-love-u @francesrose3 @vintagelacerosette @gardenerian @lynne-monstr @notherenewjersey @mickeygifs @mikhailoisbaby come travel with me 🥰

#tag game Wednesday #Mys stuff #tag games #tag you’re it

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96rh · 1 year ago

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hey folksss!! im ser n im super hyped to get to know everyone + also bring ryu han to the dash. i have a skeleton of a profile here / an intro underneath w some quickfire plot ideas but otherwise feel free to like this and i'll hit u up to plot, or alternatively feel free to dm me first :^)

ryu han, 27, 2nd year masters' student in criminal law currently living in yellow hall with the power of necromancy, commitee member of together for daehan

only son of the ryu family, a pretty big name in the corporation world (idk what they do exactly but they'own a conglomerate so we can start there)

his family is also notorious for being in a lot of shady dealings though, of course, a paper trail is rarely left so there's never quite enough evidence to accuse them of anything

shoved into the law division of the company where his abilities manifested at 11 during a hit-and-run case (details withheld but it wasn't pretty)

linked his app above regarding his powers but tldr (tldr in a tldr ik its outrageous sorry) he can raise the undead momentarily and manipulate them

as the only one with an ability in his family his parents were super stoked until he left home when he was around 18 because he disagreed with his family's criminal actions and their moral alignments

kindaaa big news in the business world that followed with a lot of "wow he isn't like his parents maybe there's some hope left for them"

in reality, his leaving-the-family was basically orchestrated to get the public slash ryu family enemies on his side. he's still loyal to them in every way, receives money from them, is in contact with them etc but maintains a facade that he lives away on money he earned solely by himself

post-undergrad, started to intern (and still does) at a not-so-big-deal law firm (that pay for his residence, living cost etc but this is basically a paper law firm that's controlled by his family in the end. people just don't know)

takes part in a lot of cases that aren't really national news but are subtler parts of his family's plans ie the factory worker who saw something they shouldn't have getting into a truck accident, the disappearance of a secretary who questioned too much -- he "uses" his power to mitigate the fallouts of those deaths ie by telling the families he communicated with the undead, passing on last words etc but it's just all soppy stuff to get them off their trail

or he summons the undead so they can do the dirty work for him .. the feeling of blood on his hands is sort of physically and emotionally difficult to wash off

literally at university so he can make a bigger name for himself (hence his participation in student politics) and get deeper into the legal system for his parents @_@ can't really imagine a life without them nor is he willing to acknowledge how deeply evil his whole family is but he'll cross that bridge when gets to it

spoiler alert: he is never getting to that bridge

personality wise he kinda thrives off making people feel subtly uncomfortable. doesn't break eye contact when talking, makes off-handed comments that you only realise the biting undertones of five minutes after you leave the conversation, smiles a little too much and especially at the wrong times. not really likeable, not really dislikable, either

all this to say he seems like a walking paradox. you might know he renounced his family's evil ways and chose the life of a just, morally righteous lawyer -- but why does it seem like there's something inconsistently unsettling about him?

regarding how much guilt he feels about participating in his family's dirty dealings -- growing up going to church every sunday means there's a lot to grapple with in terms of religious guilt and whether he's doomed for hell but once again he will cross that bridge when he gets to it and he is never getting to it. it's much easier to pretend he doesn't feel bad and that evil is rooted in nature, not nurture.

quickfire plots include: someone who knew him before he "left" his family; someone who's understandably suspicious of him but can't seem to figure out why; alternatively someone who completely believes in his facade and thinks he's the absolute apostle of justice; ex-friends that fell apart; an ex-friend whose relationship deterotation between them hurt a pinch too much; fwbs; someone he has a soft spot for because they remind him of his younger sister (who's currently 15); someone who he leans on when he overexerts himself and ends up sick; someone who wants to use him to get to his family; someone who keeps seeing him with nosebleeds in the library and isn't sure how much more spare tissue they have left

#nm:intro #disc available on req too :^)#sry miss yap a lot has entered the chat

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saltymongoose · 2 years ago

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Hey its stitches anon...idk if your requests are open, hell I'd gladly commission you at this point. But I was wondering if you could write a small fiction about the main 4 and their lover/partner (trans man he/they) that just recently got fired from their job because they are disabled? And who is now in pain and is super sad? That just happend ot me today (2 days till my birthday too) I have HEDS, pots, and mast cell to name a few. I can't write to save my life either. And I just want my bois comforting me while trying to find a new job. Sorry you can completely ignore this

Love all of your work and u would gladly commission you with what money I have for fics too ❤️ reminders to drink water everyone

Hey Stitches Anon <3, I'm really sorry to hear about your job, that's an absolutely awful thing for them to do. :( You've probably found another place to work by now, and while I don't know very much about legality, I'd keep an eye on labor laws regarding disability where you live. (Where I'm from, firing anyone for stuff directly related to their disability is extremely illegal.) However, while I can't give much advice on this since Idk legal stuff like this that well, I can write about the boys comforting you, so I whipped these up for ya. Good luck in your professional career, my friend! :) 💕❤️💖💗(P.S. And Happy New Year!!! 🎉✨🎊)

[Part 1] They Comfort Their Disabled!Transmasc!Partner During a Jobsearch ft. The Main 3 + 2BDamned

(TW: Mentions of Violence, Brief mentions of disability-based discrimination, extreme fluff.) *A.N: I wasn't too sure about how much detail to go into with PoTS/hEDS/Mast Cell, so please lmk if I portrayed anything in this incorrectly and I'll rework it pronto. Thank you! <3

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Rage and worry are the two words that best encapsulate what Hank feels once you tell him that you've gotten fired and why. Your disability didn’t prevent you from getting hired in the first place, so there’s no logical reason why it should cause your boss to fire you either. It doesn’t make any sense to him, and the fact that this whole situation is happening to you really pisses him off.

(You've seen Hank angry before, but it was never like this. He's almost shaking with rage, his hands spasming against you as he rasps out the harsh question of who was responsible for your tears and the sobs that left you. Yet you don't give their name, instead opting to press your face deeper into his collar. He goes still when you sniffle and whimper, his tense form relaxing as he presses even closer to you, pulling you tighter to him and enveloping you in his form. He'll drop the issue for now; those bastards who fired you can wait. Your well-being was always been one of his first priorities anyway.)

In typical Hank fashion, the first solution he suggests is outright murdering who fired you to get your previous job back, which makes no sense to you. (It's not like your company would be eager to hire someone whose boyfriend killed their ex-coworker). The proposition does get a small laugh out of you though, so he still considers it an achievement.

Instead of going out to commit a massacre in your name, he decides to divert all of his energy toward taking care of you and comforting you as best he can. This means he puts off all of his "official work" for as long as possible; he can tell how distraught losing this job made you, so he considers helping you to be his new mission. There’s no one that Hank ever has ever cared for more than you; you're the most special person in his life, so it’s only natural for him to put all of his focus on his role as your partner when you need the support.

Despite being wholly indifferent to the plights of Nevada's denizens, you are the only exception to his apathy, and he’ll be all over you trying to help you out during this time. He’s not the most domestic person, so he can’t take care of much on his own, but he’ll do his best to complete your normal household chores nonetheless; cleaning, taking out the trash, etc. He even cooks on rare occasions, if he thinks you shouldn't be doing it (usually because you're either too tired or in pain). You'll have to instruct him on what to do for some of these (especially cooking, he's not really experienced with that), but he'll complete every task dutifully. Hank is very good at following orders, after all.

(He straightens up when you take a bite of the food he made, his hands twitching as you give him a pleased, albeit tired smile. "It's very good," you say in response to the question you know he's aching to ask. Your eyes meet the red lenses of his goggles, and your grin widens. "Thanks, babe. You did well." He made your favorite, and although it doesn't taste exactly like how you make it, you think you prefer this version.)

Yet this is more of an afterthought compared to his main preoccupation: being by your side for as long as you'll have him, in the most literal fashion. He's almost attached to your hip the entire time, molded to your side and purring as he tugs you closer to him.

He prefers to show most of his affection through touch; hugging you softly, pressing what remains of his lips to your cheeks and forehead (and a few stray pecks on your mouth, of course), and keeping a stray hand on yours whenever you're busy looking through job listings on your tablet. He's soft and careful, always having a close eye on you for any signs of pain when he shifts closer to you, and silently noting every bruise or mark you might have in an effort to avoid irritating them. Whenever you make a noise of pain, or even if you show the smallest sign of strain, he immediately freezes, tilting his head at you in obvious worry and attempting to bring your attention to him so he can ask if you need anything.

Despite how often he gets injured, Hank doesn't know close to anything about the medical field, so he'll insist that you speak to Doc about any pain and discomfort you have due to your disabilities (who recommends you to Skinner, since he's also not a doctor either). That being said, Hank will do his best to help with alleviating anything you're going through at the same time, whether it be by fetching you your medications at a scheduled time, carrying you if you're in too much pain/too tired to walk around (or adversely, helping you exercise if you want to), or just cuddling with you if you'd prefer that. (He's constantly on the verge of being in your personal bubble anyway, so may as well.)

If anything, you'll have to tell him to stop hovering over you at times, since he's just that clingy. It's sweet that he's so concerned, but while you recognize that he's trying to show you his love the best way he can, it can be a bit smothering at times. (Like when you're trying to read out available positions and he sees fit to carefully drape himself over your back, purring like a large cat. It's nice, until he ends up obscuring the view of what you're doing.)

He'll cooperate of course, since he respects your boundaries as any partner should, but he will put in an effort to be more verbal after this to make up for it. His voice is very rough from disuse, and his wording can be a bit clunky when he compliments you, but the blunt praise you get from him still makes you blush. It's probably because you know for a fact that everything he says is what he honestly believes, which just makes it a hundred times more meaningful.

(Your face burned with each subsequent word about how proud of you he was, and the short declarations he gave of how much he admired you and your strength. Hearing such words from someone as powerful as him made them very impactful, although this also just made you more bashful to receive them.

"Thank you…you didn't have to say anything like that, hun. It’s very sweet of you," you said before laughing a bit awkwardly. Perhaps it was in your nature to try to skirt around compliments, or at least those that were so direct and blunt, but that would never work with Hank. He never wasted his breath on lies or things he didn’t feel important to put out there, it just isn’t how he works. He states things like they’re facts because they are. He’s proud of you, you’re strong, you’re handsome, etc. He could go on. And he will.

He looked at you for a moment before shrugging. “...Doesn’t matter if I need to say it. It’s still true.” In Hank's view, if he has to strain his voice just to show you the level of affection you rightfully deserve, that’s more than alright. He speaks only when necessary, and bringing your mood up at a time like this makes it so. Besides, he’d much rather use his words to compliment you than for anything else, really.)

However, when it comes to actually helping you get another job, he isn’t can't do all that much. It’s not his fault; Hank hasn’t had a “normal” job in a very long time, so his ideas on how to find one are very out of date. Nevada’s not exactly in the same state it was when he was employed in a traditional setting, and the rubble that makes up most of the cities still around wouldn’t be very useful for real estate. (Which is the only thing he has concrete experience in. Besides homicide.)

The most he can do is keep an eye out for any “help wanted” signs and writing down the locations of the places he finds them. He’ll also ask Deimos, Sanford, and Doc to look into potential job openings. (Well, demand they do. Luckily some explanation by Doc about how Hank's boyfriend was fired was enough to remedy any protest. It's weirdly nice of the merc to be so concerned about someone else. Barring the surprise of him even having a boyfriend to begin with, since he'd never said a word about you to them before.)

2BDamned is also surprisingly okay with just letting his main agent take some time off to help his significant other while they look for a job. However, Doc realizes better than anyone that if he attempted to keep Hank from you in a time like this, he'd just leave anyway (and violently), so there's little point in even trying. He's the most clued in out of everyone about Hank's personal life and has enough sense to know about your importance to him. (Why else would Hank be asking about "date ideas" and engagement rings, of all things?)

He wonders sometimes if you realize just how much you've got the tall grunt wrapped around your finger. Though, judging by how Doc can hear you brighten up and playfully admonish Hank when he accidentally interrupts your calls with him (and the fact that he can hear the man purring loudly over the phone after you call him a pet name), you must have a pretty good idea by now.

- [2BDAMNED] -

2BDamned likely didn’t approve of you working at your previous job to begin with, as it was too far from the Status Quo’s base of operations for him to keep an eye on you at all times (and being with him did put a considerable target on your back, no matter how secret you tried to keep your relationship). However, he was wholly displeased when you tearfully revealed to him that you’d been fired for something you had absolutely no control over.

Both the sheer audacity and the stupidity of the company you worked for are incredibly surprising to him. He'll make a quick note to find out where your previous workplace is located; he won't do anything to ruin them, as much as he has the power to, but if some of his agents in the location accidentally do anything to hurt their business, he's not going to offer anything close to assistance. (Although the agents might get a soft reprimand - it's hard to be mad at them for this, even if he really should be.) It's petty, but also far more than he knows they have a right to.

However, in the meantime, he'll focus on comforting you while you find another job, seeing as interfering with your previous workplace is beneath his consideration. (Unless you ask him to, of course. He's always frowned upon people who couldn't separate their work from their personal lives, but he could handle the hypocrisy if using his resources for this made you happy. After seeing how they made you cry, he thinks it would be at least somewhat deserved.)

Doc's a busy man, but he'll always have time for you. Luckily for him, he's not exactly needed at any bases, and his work has him moving around quite a bit as is, so staying at your place to help you won't cause any issues. It’s not like anyone would notice his absence. Although, he'd be willing to forgo his current assignments regardless; you're more important, to put it simply.

He's well versed in your medical conditions already, due to hours of research and speaking with both you and Skinner, no doubt. Even before you were fired, he'd have been there to help you should you need it (even if a phone call away), and there's no reason why this would change after the fact. He's always been reliable, and just like back then, he'll be there to give you exactly what you need to keep yourself comfortable. This also includes himself, if you so ask.

You'll often find yourself with your head resting in his lap, feeling his eyes rake over you once in a while to look for any signs of pain and discomfort. (To anyone else, it would feel cold or clinical, but something about Doc's gaze always warms when it's placed on you.) His voice loses its harsh edge when he reads your listings, occasionally nudging you against contacting them for an interview if the company in question gives pay that's too low or lacks the benefits he knows you deserve.

("That last one sounds alright," you muttered, and he paused from reading his tablet to give you a look of slight disapproval. You raised a brow as if to ask what the problem was and he sighed.

"Honey, they don't have dental or offer basic health insurance - and the salary is half of what you should be making," he responded pointedly, to which you laughed. This was Nevada, it's not like that was common anyway, and most businesses couldn’t afford very good pay rates at that. Yet the fact that your boyfriend was so concerned about where you'd end up working was so funny to you for some reason. The leader of one of Nevada’s greatest forces fretting about your hourly wages. Perhaps it was because it was so weirdly domestic; you didn’t get a lot of time with him considering his work schedule, so to have him drop everything just to do something so normal was actually surprising to you. It seems you underestimated just how much you meant to him. Which you know he’d chide you for if he could read your mind. Of course he would do that, he loves you.)

(You didn’t notice how he stopped reading yet again, gazing at you warmly as you drifted off in thought. For a moment he wondered if it would be better to have you work for him, where he could keep an eye on you and give you the opportunities you’d already worked for. However, he knew he couldn’t stomach you being in danger because of it, and decided against doing so. Though he’s still going to vet who you’re looking to work for, that’s a given.)

Doc’s actually rather quick to begin assisting you with lining up interviews; he’s the type of person who tries to get rid of the emotional weight of problems by solving them as soon as he can, and so he tries to do the same here. However, he’s not tone-deaf; he’s not going to immediately push it on you if you’re in need of comfort after just being fired.

There are very few people that 2BDamned can say he genuinely cares about, and you're the most important of those individuals by far. This shows in how he softens his voice around you, the sweet pet names that are reserved only for you, and the tender way he kisses you whenever he removes his mask. His gestures only increase here, when he knows you need his comfort more than ever.

He's never been the most physical in how he shows his affection (it's something he's had to ease himself in to with your relationship), but that gets thrown out the window for the most part. While he won't be cuddling you whenever you're together, you can expect to be seated in his lap with one of his arms thrown around your waist to keep you close while you both go through your work (you looking for some and him reading reports). He treats it like a casual thing, and he's found that having you near him like this brings him more peace of mind.

(The slight smile he can see tug at the corners of your lips when you feel the warmth of his form against yours is the main benefit though. Although the weariness in your eyes from what happened still hasn't faded away, you're certainly feeling better than before. Your gaze flickers upward to meet his, and he feels a purr building up when you give him a look of unbridled affection.)

While Doc is aware that he can't remove your pain or completely prevent all of your disabilities' more disruptive symptoms from happening, his main goal is to make sure you aren't having to deal with them as often as possible. If there's anything he can do, from finding special types of medication that help you the most (which is likely in short supply due to how Nevada is) to setting up schedules so you avoid getting exhausted, he’ll get it done immediately and without question. It’s his goal to make it so you’ll never feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for his help with anything (medical-related or otherwise), and you don’t.

Furthermore, Doc’s not a medical specialist per se, but he also took some “classes” from Skinner on how to treat the more major symptoms you might experience. Case in point, those unfortunate times you dislocated some of your joints, and he resets them for you, or when he eases you into a better position to recover if you happen to faint from your blood pressure dropping too quickly.

(He’s been arms deep in people’s intestines and gore before to put them back together, and done so with relative nonchalance, but seeing you in pain makes him almost queasy by comparison. The point that brings him back to focus is his central goal; minimizing your pain and discomfort, which means taking care of your state swiftly.)

2BDamned is someone who respects your independence. You're capable of taking care of yourself, as you usually do when he's not there. However, in a situation like this one, where you need him, he'll always be there. You're Doc's partner (soon fiance, perhaps), and he's yours; he'll always be there for you to lean on, just like you've been there to comfort him and bring him out of his shell.

It doesn't matter what you're going through, or how things on the outside are. If Nevada as you both knew it was going to end without him, he might just let it, as long as you'd be safe and well. If this means letting go of his usually-busy schedule to take care of the one he loves when they lose their job (and for their disabilities, which he'll still remain angry at no matter how much time passes), then it's something he'll go along with happily. In 2BDamned's eyes, you deserve far more than he can give you, so the only logical thing he can do is give you all that he is with the hopes that it's enough. This is just an incredibly small instance of him showing this immense love he has for you (one that's returned tenfold).

He hopes to make you as happy as you make him, and if the warm, affectionate looks you share, with soft smiles and hands intertwined, mean anything, then he does. And that is enough for him.

#tw: discrimination #i am incandescent with rage at your former employer 😀#Part 2 will be coming out tomorrow with San and Dei :)#transmasc reader #male reader #hank j. wimbleton x reader #hank j. wimbleton #2bdamned x reader #2bdamned #madness combat x reader #madcom x reader #my writing

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spiderlilac · 1 year ago

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ik you said you’re writing an update but im dying to know how the other characters feature in to love is to share ….. are Aemond’s siblings aware of the nature of the relationship he’s in? how do they feel about it?

hiiii omg sorry for taking forever to answer this !

dw i got u. i’ve thought about this since posting the first part 🫡 so sorry for the long answer!!! you have been warned

tw implied brainwashing

so the whole reason this au was born was because i thought about a modern au where viserys dies, and all his money, inheritance, etc, was never properly discussed. his will was never updated after aemma’s funeral so the only one who gets anything is rhaenyra— money, the targs famous company, any proprieties, rhaenyra gets it all, while alicent and her children are left with pretty much nothing except for the targaryen family home, as an act of goodwill by rhaenyra. the hightowers used to be wealthy by buying/selling real estate but the company suffered uh….. a huge scandal (let’s say gwayne hightower was arrested several times) and their money isn’t enough for them to keep living the comfortable life they once had, and soon the horror begins = aegon almost cries when alicent tells him he should get a job.

so otto does his magic and convinces alicent that the best prospect for aemond (one-eyed, but an omega nonetheless) is marrying one of rhaenyra’s oldest sons because both will have a more than decent inheritance and therefore, moneyyyyy. westeros still has some families with pretty old-fashioned traditions, so it’s alicent as his mother who approaches rhaenyra with the proposal. surprise surprise, rhaenyra declines almost immediately because she (very rightfully) thinks that aemond will try and murder either of her sons as soon as they’re married, all too resentful for his eye. alicent shamelessly lies (he would never do that!!! he’s such a decent, kind, devoted omega!!!! and— and he cooks so well!!!) and that’s how aemond finds himself in a ‘how to be a good omega’ course, imparted at the local clinic.

they teach him the basics— how to cook, how to clean, how to please their spouses. aemond thinks it’s all bullshit— but, hey, they’re right when they say that your mate should be your top priority. and, well, they are also right when they say that if you love someone, you would be devoted to them. of course i would cook for my spouse!!! they must be so tired after work…

so who knew? it actually works. next time alicent meets rhaenyra, she shows her what a good omega her son is— aemond cooks for them, wears something that creepily looks like something alicent would’ve worn in her youth, and is all gentle smiles and soft movements. only that rhaenyra did not go alone to their meeting. jace and luke join just in time to appreciate the changes in their uncle, and now it’s not who will marry him, but when will they marry him. they’re brothers, after all— they’re shared everything all their lives. this should not be different.

now, what you actually asked (lmao! got a little carried away!) aemond’s siblings are confused. lemme elaborate:

aegon thought aemond was messing with him the first time he said he had to leave early from their night out to cook lucerys dinner. his jaw dropped when aemond also told him he could not drink any alcohol because jacaerys told him not to. don’t get him wrong, he’s glad aemond isn’t the same asshole he used to be, but now talking to him feels weird. his baby brother won’t go anywhere unless his husbands are aware. he won’t wear anything they don’t approve of. and every time aegon tries to make him see how unreasonable his lifestyle is, aemond will fight until aegon drops it. whatever. as long as he’s happy, i guess.

helaena tries to argue on that as well— she insists aemond should have his own say in his life, but her comments are softly spoken, so aemond just chuckles and disregards everything she says. he pats her head, smiling all condescending because she’s a beta, and she wouldn’t understand. after a while, helaena gives up, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t grimace when aemond takes his coat off and she can see his whole neck and wrists covered in bruises and finger marks.

now… daeron is complicated, because he still feels some of the rage aemond shared with him when the eye incident happened. at first, he glares at jace and luke at family gatherings and tells them they would never deserve his brother, and he tries convincing aemond to get a divorce as soon as he gets his hands in some of their money, but aemond looks truly concerned and explains that the past is all behind, daeron. we should not let ourselves rot with resentment, and so daeron tunes the comments off, although he still glares at the velaryon boys.

either way, their acceptance on their marriage grows a bit when jace and luke treat them for sevenmas— they get aegon and helaena an all-included trip to pentos for an entire month on the most luxurious hotel that could possibly exist, while their children get so many toys that helaena doubts they will fit all in their room. and daeron, who is now old enough to drive, gets his first car! i meaaan, they can’t be that bad, can they?

#asks #my fics #lucemond #fic to love is to share

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inkstainedhandswithrings · 10 months ago

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so I keep learning about The Horrors™️ of American healthcare and I keep hearing Americans talk abt this shit like it’s totally fine and let me tell y’all. It’s not. Apparently and ADHD or Autism test costs like 500$ for you guys? And then when you do get diagnosed you gotta think abt shit like “okay but do I actually need meds?” Bc apparently that’s a financial decision? But it,,, it shouldn’t be right? Right okay bc

I live in Europe, specifically Austria, and this is how healthcare works here: if you have a job you have healthcare. Your employer pays for it. They have to. It’s absolutely illegal and unheard of not to. They do take about 20% out of your pay-check every month to pay for that and other legal things that I don’t quite understand (my dad explained it to me once but I’m 20 so I still don’t get it bc I don’t really have to but every cent they take out benefits me I think so it’s fine).

Now irl this is a lot more complicated but basically, you have public healthcare and private healthcare and then just stuff that’s up to the government (like ambulance rides, I think. Even if you don’t have insurance u don’t pay for that. I know this bc an American friend of mine didn’t and had to go to the hospital and called a cab and when they told me I was like “??? BRO WHY NO AMBULANCE” this is also how I found out that Americans have to pay for ambulance rides. wtf.)

Basically your insurance covers all medical expenses from doctors who are in your network (public practice). This is your GP, hospitals, and pretty much all specialised docs (dentist, internists, cardiologists, etc.). However, the public offices are much busier than the private ones (obvi) so if you’re in a rush, want special treatment, or just be a little fancy you can CHOOSE to pay for private doctors. And even then you can hand in those bills to your insurance and you get part of the money back (abt 30% which you receive abt 4 months after handing the bill in).

If you keep your bills for private care doctors you can hand them in to,,, someone somewhere somehow (idk man) and get a bigger tax return. (bc we don’t calculate our taxes ourselves. it just gets taken out of your pay-check by your employer every month and then at the end of the,,, fiscal year??? I guess?? Idk man idk how shit works — you get any money that was like,,, extra (????) back)

Now you might ask yourself: “phi, why would I pay for doc if I can go to free doc?” Which is an excellent question. Again, for most people it’s about waiting times but there is one field where it just really makes more sense: mental health services. Private practitioners have less clients and more high quality care than public ones because they choose their own funding, which, surprise surprise, is better than public funding.

I will now take you through my own personal journey so you can have a practical example of how good healthcare CAN AND SHOULD BE (keep in mind here I have parents who after messing me up and being terrible but learning their lessen once I became an adult and told them how horrible they were are very supportive of me pursing my mental health)

When I was about to turn 20 I went to my GP and had a conversation with her about how I think I might have ADHD. She asked me about my complaints and agreed there definitely are symptoms indicating it. She wrote me a referral to a Psychiatrist. When I got to my Psychiatrist she tested me and because of the referral she could tell the insurance company that this test was necessary and not elective, meaning insurance payed for it in full and I never even saw that bill.

Now I had a diagnosis all but a week later. I spoke to my parents who agreed to support me in finding private care. My Psychiatrist charges 160€ (insurance returns 48€) per appointment which my mum graciously pays for. I see him once every couple of months to check in on my use of medication and how I’m responding and to see if my dosis needs adjustment. If and when I need a refill, I only have to write him an email. Before he could put me on medication I needed a blood draw and cardiac test, to ensure that I qualified for a stimulant, since they can be harmful in some cases. He wrote me referrals and I went to my GP and a public cardiologist for those tests, which were all free of ANY charge.

I was then cleared to take my meds within a few weeks (cardiologist had a bit of a waiting list). I was prescribed Ritalin and some sleeping pills by my psychiatrist. He gives me the prescriptions and a letter to the insurance company asking them to cover the cost, as I have a diagnosis which he confirmed again in his initial assessment of me. Now that I’ve gotten approved, all I pay for is the prescription, not the actual medication. Which is about 6-7€ for the Ritalin and 4-5€ for the sleeping pills (monthly supply each).

My Therapist is also a private doctor. She charges 120€ per session and I go twice a month, which is 240€ per month. My dad contributes 100€ and my mum contributes 30€, which means I’m down to 110€ per month. Insurance pays 30€ per session (so 60€ per month) so I pay a grand total of 50€ or 25€ per session.

So my medical treatment each month costs me just about 62€ AT MOST (since I don’t always need my sleeping pills refilled).

Now, just for fun, let’s assume my parents don’t support me and I see both my therapist and my psychiatrist in the same month and need both my meds refilled. This would come to just about 304€ (because of insurance deductions).

But you have to consider that I DON’T see my psychiatrist every month, so the more realistic monthly cost would be 187€. And should I decide I can’t pay for that I can still get on a waiting list for public mental health practitioners, in which case the only thing I’d ever need to pay for are the prescription costs for my medication which would still be up to 7€ for the Ritalin and up to 5€ for the sleeping pills putting the grand total at 12€ PER MONTH.

My family and I simply chose the quicker, more efficient option, but no one twisted our arm into paying this amount of money FOR BASIC CARE.

And yes, it’s a lot of bureaucracy (it took me WAY too long to spell that) and paperwork, but I’d much rather that than have to decide between mental well-being or being broke.

So, my conclusion: Cancel America, move to Europe, OR just tell the American People In Charge Men that it is that easy and they really should try a little harder and you citizens shouldn’t settle for the shit you have to put up with right now because wtf

if you wanna cry a little it’s okay lemme know I’ll come sit with you and offer a hug but you can say no if that’s not your thing

anyways love ya

phi

#I also found out that giving birth at the hospital could literally cost you your baby’s college fund #to which I have to say both hospitals and college are FREE here so #idk why people still live in America #I feel like it’s just politicians hating their citizens at this point #or some elaborate science experiment to see how much oppression and bullshit and classicism and ableism humans can take before they snap #and burn the world down #so #yeah #sorry America #</3 #healthcare #rant #tw mental health #tw health #tw healthcare #idk what to tw here so if you want me to add something dm me or comment ig #America #politics #Europe

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honeytonedhottie · 1 year ago

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Hi! I hope your day has been good 🥰

I need some advice but it’s okay if you don’t wanna answer.

So my brother hasn’t payed his bills on time for quite some time now and he told me about it just a couple of days ago. Since he didn’t pay them, they sent it to the company that handles with people not paying their bills. And when this happens it’s bad. Really really bad. It’s gonna affect/effect (idk which one it is sorry) his life, it’s gonna get harder and there are many things he won’t be able to do because of this.

The thing is, he has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, he sometimes procrastinates and pushes things away so to not think of them bc they cause him stress, anxiety etc. And that’s what happened with this, it’s why this all happened.

I’m doing my best to help him bc our parents don’t know and I think he’ll do everything and anything to make sure they don’t know bc our parents are special so he’s terrified of them knowing. His birthday is in a while so he’s gonna get some money, I’m gonna help too even if I don’t have that much.

The reason I’m here is bc I don’t know what to do. How can I manifest this away? I know that I have to assume that it’s been resolved or something like that but it’s so hard when I see him crying and stressed about this. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act and behave in the 3D. I’m just overwhelmed and idk what to do. He’s the best and he doesn’t deserve this and I wanna manifest this away, however it happens but idk how. I’m scared that when I affirm and do everything right, nothing will change. Or I’m afraid that no matter what, no matter how hard and bad the circumstances are, I will never be able to persist, have faith and do everything right even though I have all the knowledge of loa and can manifest this away.

Do you have any advice?

And I’m sorry if this was too heavy and such, you don’t owe me anything so if you don’t answer pls don’t feel guilty!

thank you for asking this and i'd love to answer to the best of my ability and hopefully give some guidance 🫶🏽💗💗💗💗

its normal to be overwhelmed when the 3d is in ur face like this. i totally get it. u dont have to ever worry about the "how" every thing, person, every atom in this universe will bend to show u what u believe to be true. its the law. it always works without fail, the only variable in it is you.

ur doing EVERYTHING right, just focus in on ur goal/objective, think FROM the state of being so happy because your brother is paying his bills on time and hes in a good state of mind and being. and perpetuate/sustain that new belief. no matter what, it WILL harden into a fact if u persist in it.

when it gets tough, show urself compassion and take a break if it'll help u, when the 3d is in ur face take deep breaths and remember that u are the source and that ur LIMITLESS💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

#law of assumption #advice #honeytonedhottie

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antoncore · 6 months ago

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yeah… i don’t like the heat either, ur right it’s difficult to enjoy things and i am very sensitive to temperature sometimes and have a hard time adjusting so i swear SO much and i just feel gross all the time :(

no pressure to respond with anything really, i’m just rambling but if riize were billionaires living in LA… i totally see someone like eunseok as a property developer.. or sungchan as the CEO of something or other… and i was trying to think about anton and maybe like a big time producer of some kind? like he has his own record label.. there was smth else i was thinking of too but now i’ve forgotten.

thinking of billionaire anton not being as well known for always having girls on his arm… women want him, for sure, but he’s been working on his business mainly, but the he meets you<33 idk

and on a soft note like, anton buying you expensive things, a new dress for every occasion, a new bag just because he loves you<33 taking you to all sorts of events with him because he wants everyone to see how beautiful you are and know how much he adores you<3 and maybe you’ve never really had aspirations before but he’s supportive of getting you started with whatever your heart desires to try! or, you’ve been working hard on your degree but with his support (emotionally and money ofc) you’re able to finally pursue what you’ve been wanting to do!

when he finally proposes to you he’d buy you the biggest ring🤭🤭 it’s so perfect and shiny and you’d have so many people fawning and gaggling and being so jealous of u… you’d have to stay off ur phone a bit to ignore the tabloids talking smack about u and entertaining rumours but it’s fine, you could even have a private getaway to some beach house or cottage with your fiancé in the meantime

and idk on a more nsfw note, people would always be asking (think i got this from another anon but) how you make it fit? anton is sooo big, they just couldn’t imagine😅😅🤧 anton buying you sexy lingerie outfits to wear and wait for him to get home, telling you not to be impatient and touch yourself before he gets there or he won’t be touching you at all… if you do, he makes you finish yourself off while he watches, or makes you ride his thigh and keeps his hands on the bed, just watching you struggle to pleasure yourself

he’d buy you a hi tech panty vibe to wear when you go run errands or when you go out to dinner together, enjoying the way you squirm and shift in your seat, telling you to enjoy your food, don’t be snobby… but you’re sweating and your vision is blurring because you can feel your orgasm approaching fast but it’s at that point that he shuts the toy off completely, your knees bumping against the table making all the plates jump and biting back the groan that threatens to erupt from your throat

i don’t see anton as being that mean all the time but if he knows you like it and want that sometimes, he’d be more than happy to oblige.. he just wants to give you everything you want, even if that means treating you like a filthy slut

- 🧸 anon

i see your visions with the jobs you assigned!!! i see sungchan being a ceo of some tech/healthcare company while eunseok is the city’s most famous property developer.

anton rlly would spoil you, he just wants to shout out that he loves you from the top of his lungs. he would be so supportive no matter what!!! i can envision if you wanted to start up a business (like a cute little coffee shop) he’d help you through each step like looking for the space, planning the interior design, marketing etc. and it would be so successful that you were able to open a couple more branches and he’d be so proud of you!!

and i can so see having a private getaway with after he proposed, he wanted an excuse to get away from all the people talking and he also wanted to spoil you. he’d take you to a luxury resort where you could just relax and be in each other’s presence (and fuck in the hotel room…and the pool…and the hot tub)

speaking of lingerie i rlly believe anton is a fan of white/pastel, i think i’ve discussed this a couple times on here ISNSNSB and imagine if he came home to you using the new wand he got you. he’d just make you continue as he sat on a chair, not really saying much to ensure that you were entirely responsible for your own pleasure :( when you finally decided to give up/when you came, he’d give you a kiss on the forehead and call you his good girl.

and omg he’d be so evil using the panties on you, he loved watching you squirm like a cute little slut :( you’re struggling to even eat or move around and it’s just funny for him to watch you being so pathetic for him!!!

#tonisbabydoll chats 💬#cee l.at #🧸 anon

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doctorweebmd · 6 months ago

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Emoji asks! ✨️⛔️💖💌 And don't worry about talking too much--I love hearing about process, so the longer the better, tbh!

👀 ahhh anjum i hope you don't regret those words this I...uh.... listen this got away from me but also. THANK YOU. it was a blast. sincerely. and also i'm sorry ahead of time.

✨️ - Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Uh. 😳 Wow this question made me realize how much easier it is to criticize your own writing than it is to compliment it. Thank you for this question my self-critical ass needs it lmao

I'm definitely a more character-driven writer, so my focus is on making their emotions as real as possible. I want it to feel like you can see through their eyes, like you can feel their pain, or their excitement, or their fear. I want people to feel really connected to characters through they very human emotions. So I tend to focus a lot on that - on character self-reflection and detailed descriptions of everything and anything that come with certain emotions. its one of the reasons i'm fond of writing pretty detailed and emotional porn. i dont want it to feel like a 'fade to black' scene from a movie, you know? or a scripted porno. i want to portray that nervousness, the embarrassment, the jitters and thrills of first times - something that doesn't have to look 'perfect' but still be beautiful. i think that's kind of the strong-point of my writing.

for that same reason, i take a lot of pride in trying to keep characters as 'in character' as possible. keep their personalities consistent and consider what they would do or how they would react IF that still stays true to them. i really try not sand them down or take away their sharp edges to fit a story, rather make the story fit around the characters. does that make sense?

i think my humor is pretty solid. and the storylines are engaging; some even pretty unique, although nothing world-changing. also, low key, i'm probably one of the best writers in the sskk fandom right now. and YET. these bitches are sleeping on me. smh

⛔️ - Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Ooh, yeah, a couple! Most notably:

Fools Gold. Yikes. I really do hate leaving fics unfinished but I have minimal interest in continuing it. If you wanna know how it ends... (spoilers for a fic that may never be written) The tape recorder data gets accidentally 'erased.' Shinsou gives a different code to Katsuki and Kirishima, and by them having different dates on their secret codes and a planned sabotage going wrong, we know that one of them is the traitor. There's a lot of dissent but Izuku believes its a mistake. We find out that Katsuki was always jealous of Izuku's life - he hated modeling, and actually took one of his online classes not that long ago. They get closer, more marathon sex, real feelings, etc. Izuku confesses to Katsuki, but Katsuki's like - no, I have to be with your dad, I'm so close to my goal, and Izuku is shitty, making an ultimatum. Katsuki still leaves him. Kirishima to the rescue, he asks him on a date, they kiss, Katsuki is livid. As Kirishima and Izuku get closer, Kirishima confesses that he's the traitor, and that Izuku needs to stop what he's doing. Izuku doesn't, gets framed for everything, stock prices of the company go into the TANK. But. You see. Mei actually buys like all the stocks and they end up majority company owners, then they release all the proof GATHERED BY KATSUKI that his dad is guilty. Izuku gets all his money, dad goes to jail, Izuku and Katsuki travel the world on a sail-boat, they invest in all their friend's businesses and everyone's happy except Hisashi cause fuck him. The end.

A character study internal monologue of Katsuki's death (lol.) 400 words of eh.

Intersecting Lines Sequel - 500 words of also eh. Five years after Izuku defeats Sovereign, he gets a distress call from Cosmix saying that Leviathan was undercover and has since gone missing. Izuku and Katsuki travel to America and ALSO go undercover, uncovering a huge conspiracy and temporarily being pitted against one another. This is 100% never gonna happen.

Uh... I forgot I even started writing this one? 2.3k words. Quirkless!Izuku Shiketsu AU who is the #4 hero, Izuku is an asshole to Katsuki and he's into it, they start hooking up in an unhealthy and violent way and play mind-games with each other by dating each other's friends and just being awful. i actually think this was my first iteration of zero-sum.

Those are the only ones i've scrapped!

💖 - What made you start writing?

I all started the day I was born, 199 -

Just kidding. I think my story is much like other people's stories on here. I was kinda a lonely kid. I'd spend all my free time making up stories by myself, reading books, drawing. I got super into anime as a preteen and would visit roleplaying chats (i think it was yahoo chats... anyone remember that?) and play Sailor Senshi with my friends and created OCs and started writing my own manga (lol) The first actual 'story' I think I came up with was age 12-14ish? It was an self-insert OC in a Sailor Moon x Dragon Ball Z crossover universe. I posted it somewhere maybe on livejournal? And one person really liked it and we became penpals (no stranger danger just my 12 year old unsupervised ass giving out my address to randos online) and we sent each other letters and I sent her updates and we talked about the story and it was so much fun!

Actually this made me break out my memory box, a couple of USBs and my external harddrive to see what I still had saved and WOW. Its just. I found one of the letters she sent a picture FROM 2004!!! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME LISTEN TO THIS LETTER:

Dear Anna, Hi! Greetings from Connecticut. Hope you like my drawing. It is a drawing of how i think Sailor Eternity might look like using your description of her. Hope you like the drawing..... I love your story. I am dying to know what happens when Queen Serenity goes and sees Serena and Siera. And whats more interesting, when Neo-Queen Raye sees Sabrina.... AND SHE CALLED US BEST FRIENDS?! Betmarie if you're out there...

But you see when you're a teenager, anime becomes lame so you hide it to fit in. Around this same time, my 'dream' of being a 'writer' was getting actively discouraged. It was cute when you're 12. Less so when you're 16 and looking at colleges. So i stopped drawing and watching anime and got 'adult interests' like depression, underage sex, dying my hair, hating my home town, obsessing over emo music, and overall being a self-destructive nuisance.

Anyway, the earliest 'original' fiction I can find is from 2008, and around this time things started to get really really dark. Everything I can find from around this time is... just so damn depressing. I'll spare you the details, but at a certain point I just... stopped.

And you know? I missed it like a limb. I hated that I couldn't write anymore. It felt like something was missing. But there's college, and med school, and dating and life just kinda... happened.

And then. I move across the country, alone, to start residency. I start consistently taking antidepressants. The work is hard but the time I have is my own. The sun is shining. The ocean is at my door.

And. The words come. Just sometimes. In spurts. But it feels so good, because I honestly thought I lost it. That I could never get it back. I actually wrote a blog post about it in 2019:

But for this past week I’ve been writing. Listening to music. I told Kevin about feeling so good, almost like I’m manic. But I’m not - I’m just happy. Holy shit. This is what happy feels like. My job and my self-hatred truly made me blind to it. Sitting alone in my 1 bedroom apartment away from everyone I’ve ever known. This is what that Anna always wanted. This is the dream. Not the checkmark accomplishments that I can put on my resume. This is it. Maybe I’ll finally take those voice lessons. Maybe I’ll buy an electric piano and try to learn. I have only one life and I just got so off track. I can still be that person.

So! Anna is re-exploring her interests from the before-times. Cringe is dead and joy is within reach. You know what she loved? Anime. Wow, I sure hope one of the biggest animes in 2019 isn't My Hero Academia. Oh wow, I REALLY like it. Haha. Did you see Deku vs Kacchan part 2? Hooboy. Hey did you know that there's a second my hero academia movie called Heroes Rising? We should see it in theaters! Yay fun nerdy anime time. Oh my GOD. what a movie. i have stars in my eyes. I love these kids. It would sure be a shame... if I started writing.... about them...

One month later the pandemic hit. Obviously I worked during all of it while inpatient because of my job, but otherwise, we were stuck indoors a lot. Cue Intersecting Lines. Day in and day out, for two months straight, I would write it. You see, like pretty much everybody else, i HATED unfinished fic. I promised - swore, even! - to never post something unfinished. So in May, I drop Intersecting Lines on ao3 all together. 130k of just... whatever the fuck. It was a perfect storm of everyone being online at the time, the fandom being smaller, and probably the fact that it was finished, but, for ME, it felt like it 'exploded.' Like. People were reading it. Commenting. Enjoying the OCs. Even making fanart?! I started chatting with a couple other people and reading other writers works and commenting and it became such an enthusiastic and supportive community and I've been running off that high ever since!

Intersecting Lines to My Brothers Keeper to Battle of the Bands and it was just more and more fun! Then Izuku Midoriya dropped the fuck out of UA and I'm like "!!!! HOLY SHIT. WHAT IF KATSUKI GOES CRAZY TRYING TO FIND HIM." I had essentially finished 3 very long fics, i had super supportive friends and a tiny bit of a reader base, and even though I was scared shitless about it I'm like 'bet' and Zero-Sum Game was born. I was scared to dig into those old feelings, pry open those old scars. It was terrifying. It was catharctic. It was everything.

Following it, I felt... free, in a way? Like I didn't have to be scared of writing anything anymore. Like I could do whatever the hell I wanted because I really was a 'writer.'

So here I am. Still writing whatever. I have no goals or ambitions or plans for the writing itself. I just wanna tell stories and I hope that they resonate with some people. I hope I can do this shit forever I'm so serious.

.....anyway that's my entire life story. wow. i am SO sorry lmao that was too much. i took such a detour to find all this stuff.

💌 - How do you feel about comments and feedback?

oof. just like everyone else i love them so so so much. 🥺 i actually reread them relatively frequently and LOVE it when people engage with the story itself, like the PLOT! and the THEMES! and the MOTIFS! i LOVE it when people make me think about my own work. or ask about things that i straight up forgot about. or point out a plot hole that i sheepishly have to admit i forgot about!

or that it makes people feel things! making people cry is probably the biggest compliment you can get as a fic writer. but also laughter! but also staying up until ass-o'clock reading!

even if its just a keysmash it just makes a switch flip in the brain that this is a real human being, who is reading this story, who is reaching out to me and i'm reaching out to them from words and feelings across oceans and years and experience. just seeing the 'numbers' depersonalizes it a lot, you know?

for feedback, i probably echo most other people. if i ask for it, particularly from writing friends who are qualified to give feedback, then i really appreciate it. if its unsolicited, its kinda shitty. its anime porn on a fanfiction archive - not a creative writing course or the new york bestseller list. its not that deep. i'm doing this for funsies and for free, so if my stuff isn't to someone's liking, i would kindly invite them to read something else. there is. so much. other. stuff. come on now.

okay at the end of the day, no one owes me anything. i spent years and years being a lurker and even now, having written an embarrassing quantity of fanfic, i STILL don't do a great job of leaving comments. its okay. no one should feel pressured to. its nice but not necessary.

but ALSO. i need my EGO STROKED PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

who said that

ANYWAY. wow. this is so embarrassing I worked on this for WAYYYYYY too much time. with a huge detour to tear apart my closet for my memory box and USBs. but it was so so fun. gosh i wish i still had a copy of that sailor moon x dragon ball z crossover fic. i'm sure it was horribly cringe but YEAH, what DID happen when Neo-Queen Raye sees Sabrina?

I guess we'll never know............

#ask game #oh this is SO LONG #in 5 years the fbi will be able to build a full psychological profile of me from oversharing on this fucking webbedsite #anjum i am SO SORRY but also thank you i had a blast #from the past. literally.

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monstermince · 2 years ago

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no one asked for it, but my initial baffled reaction to kpop the musical closing after two weeks:

I've read the articles about the directing team's comments on how disappointed they are that the musical hasn't made the money needed to keep running, and I feel for them -- I wanted this all API cast and director/lyricist/etc show to succeed SO MUCH. However, there were some very weird decisions made about the optics of this show, which I want to ramble about as someone who loves musicals, is ethnically Chinese, and had a whole kpop phase:

Titles matter and they named the musical KPOP. lmfao why would you do this. No one is going to take your musical seriously with that name. America already knows about kpop (I see u, McDonald's x BTS). I literally take psychic damage every time I see its name. Why did they think it was a good idea 😭 kpop as a term has TOO many bad/shallow connotations, you cannot.

Marketing was Bad. The plot was not described in an interesting and clear way; the press I saw presented it as something about different kpop groups coming together to perform a show. But they haven't even released the soundtrack (it's not coming out until next year) so no one has any idea what the songs are like and what the story even is, unless you went to the previews which were cancelled early because of covid.

Not knowing the songs means there's no way to know if this musical about kpop groups has any substance or commentary about a fucked up industry, which i feel like is what half of the potential audience would want (me included. I saw when SNSD did a broadcast where the group went to donate blood, and the leader of SNSD straight up was told she couldn't because she's too underweight and anemic. I watched Kpop company giants send their artists into China to get that M money, without teaching them Chinese very well, making them go on talk shows and making their Chinese artists pick up the extra task of leading their teammates through this all. Is it any wonder so many chinese artists left these companies.) You have to be so willfully oblivious to think you can make a musical about kpop artists and not address the hell these artists perform under). However, there's also a chance that this musical was made to market/sell kpop to a larger american audience that wouldn't seek out kpop on their own, in which case, probably there is no substance to the plot, just bops (not to knock the bops). The issue is WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BOOK ENTAILS.

Asian actors just don't get taken seriously in the entertainment industry here. There was NO buzz about an all API cast, not like hamilton got for an all POC cast (and there was only one asian actress cast). Andrea Macasaet, who has been ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING as Six's Broadway Anne Boleyn straight up said that she was about to quit the industry and get trained to work up the corporate ladder for Lululemon before auditioning for Six one last time, because the industry is so inaccessible.

It just feels like these are such obvious things that overshadow the musical, and you HAVE to get a marketing/publicity team who can address this. You can make fake insta accounts for your fictional kpop groups (which they did 🤦‍♀️) AFTER you address this.

#kpop the musical #a sorrowful critique

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voidze · 30 days ago

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normally i don't comment directly on other folks' posts but i felt the need to here.

my dad was also very much like that. back in the day, they called it "locked-in syndrome". 'cause you understand and process everything coming in just fine, but in his case as well, he became quadriplegic, so he essentially had no way to communicate back. couldn't move his limbs or hands or nothin.

now to put a long and complicated story short, my dad had some major strokes and it rendered several portions of his brain pretty much... dead? like, back then everything about what happened to him was incredible, but even up to his death ~2 years ago doctors would marvel at his condition. they'd show us scans of his brain where there were big black portions. those were the parts that didn't work anymore.

but the other parts of his brain took over and he was able to keep on living! and oh my god i could write a book about the way my dad was infantilized and straight-up abused by medical professionals over the years. not an exaggeration in the slightest btw. 30 years of that shit.

now when this first all went down, my mom had to fucking fight to keep him alive and convince the doctors he's still in there. mom started with making him blink once, twice, not at all in order to answer questions. doctors dismissed this as reflexes at first. but she kept fighting, and showing them, until they listened.

fun fact: one of these doctors literally told my mom it would be too expensive to keep my dad alive and to just let him die. dad outlived this doctor :)

my mom was his uncompensated primary caregiver for those 30 years btw. we had people come in and help, absolutely, but mom did most of it, and she did it all without pay. and my siblings and i also did it too of course, but when we old enough, we each were employed through a company so we could scrape together a little bit of money.

furthermore, the reason why mom was an uncompensated caregiver and my siblings were not, is because my mom is a nurse. and where we live, there is a law that if you are a registered nurse, you're literally not allowed to receive any kind of compensation for doing what my mom did.

another fun fact: in the usa disabled people are kept poor. you're literally not allowed to make a certain (paltry) amount of money, you're legally allowed to be paid less than minimum wage, oh and also we don't have marriage equality. i can't marry either of my partners or i may never get (again, paltry) benefits from the government.

when i was like 12 mom had to sit me down and have a talk with how her and dad might have to get divorced so that we can keep living with dad and taking care of him. she told me it's not because they didn't love each other, but because of the way things out of their hands worked, they might have to do that. they thankfully never had to divorce, and dad actually died litrally like 2 weeks before their 50th anniversary. (ask mom, she has it down to the second. not even joking. she also felt his last heartbeat. but that's another story.)

anyway. so for all those 30 years, literally my entire life, it was like this. folks would go up to dad and bend down and talk to him real loud and slow, or ignore him and talk about him to my mom/etc. right in front of him. it's fucking bullshit. it's ableist bullshit. and i want you to know that. it's bullshit and you got every right to put people in their place and tell them to knock that shit off.

like i said i could write a book about dad's experiences in just those 30 years of his life. they would lay him flat on beds in the hospital with no guardrail - positioning that was extremely bad for him, plus if he coughed he could fall out of bed. ask us how we know!!! one time a nurse roughly grabbed his stomach and stabbed it with a needle. he didn't say anything. my sister witnessed it and was like "dad, did that hurt?" and he said it did. then the nurse freaked out like "i didn't know he could feel!"

on his deathbed a terrible doctor told us that he never understood any of us and that every conversation we ever had with him in those 30 years were just reflexes (even when he spoke in full clear sentences) and he was just a vegetable. and she proceeded to do a few procedures on him without consent that we also specifically told her not to do beforehand, and he aspirated, he got sicker, it hastened his death. god help her if she ever is unlucky enough to cross my path.

i'm sorry this is lengthy and all over the place but it struck a chord with me immediately. i know how hard it is to be in that kind of position, and how little help you get from anyone else. i want you to know that your family's got every right to tell doctors and shit to fucking listen, and it's terrible that any of us have to do that to begin with, but god, i want people to know. i want people to know no matter their age or disability no one else has the right to tell them their life is worth less than anyone else's, or that they don't deserve care, or don't deserve to be treated like a fucking person.

uhh also op if you wanna talk more about this kinda thing or something, my inbox is open.

My grandfather has a brain thing right now that makes it hard for him to talk in more than one word sentences but he can understand people just fine and lately it’s been kinda pissing me off how many healthcare providers talk to him like he’s five years old. Like he can understand you. He can answer yes or no questions. We just told you that. You don’t have to talk about him to me like he’s not here.

#voidzeposting #ableism #ageism #voidzeranting #sorry again lol

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