#do people the favor of not trying to water down their lives to fun niche words to avoid saying stuff that makes you feel the Ick

[yb-cringe]

good god. good fuckin lord disabled is not a dirty word just say disabled stop saying differently abled im gonna actually blow a gasket

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 14: Groans of Increasing Discomfort

Heading back to the castle, it seems I’ve accumulated a ton of new buildings to buy. I can buy a statue of Mozu which probably costed more than her entire village, a ballista and shuriken launcher to use in castle battles, a bunch of puppets to give me nightmares (they fight for you in castle battles too I guess), a shop to buy new units (both generics and clones of the soldiers I already have), and a hot spring. Because fanservice. You can run into other units in there, everyone is in their underwear and blushing, half of the decisions that were made in this game’s development were solely for the sake of horniness, yada yada yada. I actually tried to leave and the game stopped me, because Sakura was showing up and it’s necessary to get that bath time with the teenage girl. The hot springs does have a use, admittedly, but it won’t become apparent for a few chapters.

Support: Lady Corrin/Reina

C: Corrin sees Reina talking to an old man and asks her about it. Reina explains that he reminds her of her parents, who cut her out of their life when she became a soldier. And also, apparently, don’t give a shit about her being the personal retainer to the goddamn Queen. Actually, wait, hold on. Where the hell was Reina when Mikoto got blown up? You know what? Her parents should be ashamed of her, she’s a terrible bodyguard.

B: Corrin tells Reina she should visit her parents. Which makes sense; Corrin points out that she’s an orphan and wishes for any relationship with a parent, no matter how strained. Reina tells Corrin that she became a soldier because she really, really, really likes killing people. Corrin volunteers to find out how Reina’s parents are doing.

A: Corrin tells Reina that her parents are doing fine. Reina retcons the last conversation by revealing that she became a soldier to protect her family’s peasants. Nowadays, though, it’s all about that murder.

Review: This one was fine. Corrin wanting to help Reina is a nice bit of characterization, but there isn’t much more to say about this one.

Now, you may be wondering why I referred to Corrin as Lady Corrin in the last bit. Reina actually has completely different supports depending on Corrin’s sex. Most characters have identical supports with Corrin, or if not that just minor dialogue changes (For example, Camilla and Laslow, off the top of my head). But characters like Reina, who can only support Corrin, get two conversations. I suppose it’s for the best, considering those characters would otherwise be incredibly out of focus as opposed to merely extremely out of focus.

Support: Lord Corrin/Reina

C: Corrin sees Reina carrying an apron, which weirds him out, because of the whole murder hobo thing.

B: Reina reveals her sheltered noblewoman housewife in training turned soldier backstory and says that the apron was a gift from her parents before they cut her out.

A: Reina says that her parents cried when she became a knight and that she keeps the apron out of gratitude for them.

S: Corrin, off screen, goes back to Hoshido to talk to Reina’s parents. Apparently they’re proud of her. And he asked to marry her, which she accepts, because she cannot imagine life without him. Apparently.

Review: So, these are kinda the same support? I mean, the actual words are different, but they cover the same information. It’s weird that they were split into two conversations. Whatever. The second one is better, because it gives this really fun characterization of Reina being a friendly team mom when she isn’t stabbing people so she can hear them gasp their last breaths. Also, it resolves the plotline. On the other hand, the S-Rank is really mediocre. Reina saying she relies on Corrin daily is ridiculous, given what we’ve seen. Overall, the problem with Reina is that she just has these two conversations. And one with Kanna, I guess, but that one is recycled from other characters. If Reina was a more fleshed out character that interacted with other characters, she might work as a character. But, as it stands, all she has is her recruitment and two mediocre supports.

Support: Hinata/Takumi

C: Hinata kicks down the door to Takumi’s room so he can tell him that he’s going to start a fighting tournament so he can beat people up.

B: Hinata beats people up.

A: Hinata reveals that he’s beating people up to cheer up Takumi, because Takumi looks happy when he cheers him on. I feel like he could have, I don’t know, asked Takumi how to cheer him up in advance instead of just assuming and doing something he said he didn’t want, but whatever. The two bond over Hinata beating people up.

Review: I think this one helped me hone in on why a lot of Fire Emblem supports don’t work. Supports are, by their very nature, just dialogue. So, when you get a support like this, that relies heavily on something happening, it ends up as telling not showing. That’s why the best supports rely on dialogue rather than explain something that happened off screen.

Support: Kagero/Saizo

C: Kagero and Saizo get into an argument over how to train royal guards, with Kagero pointing out that Saizo’s hard as nails “be ready to die for the monarchy” speech just stressed people out. Saizo blames the new recruits for being inexperienced.

B: Saizo endangers the life of his men to succeed on a mission and Kagero calls him out on it. Saizo points out that victory requires sacrifice and war is unforgiving. The two of them point out that they’ve had this exact argument again and again, and it’s the reason they broke up when they were dating.

A: Kagero and Saizo win a big battle together and admit that they work well together.

S: Saizo points out that their relationship failed because they kept trying to change each other and forgot that they loved each other. The two of them decide to give it another shot.

Review: This one has a much more solemn and reserved tone than most supports, which helps it stand out. It isn’t great, but it has a good tone and I actually don’t dislike Saizo and Kagero as a couple. Them being a flawed couple that broke up over their differences, then trying it again after maturing and becoming more rounded people is a lot more realistic than most relationships in this game.

Birthright Chapter 12: Dark Reunion

The gang arrives in Cyrkensia, a city in Nestra, a country that I forgot existed because this is the only part of the game where it is mentioned. Cyrkensia is a popular vacation spot with a big opera house that appeared in the intro.

A kitsune named Kaden goes up to the party and explains that he’s in town to repay a favor to someone. This introduction feels like when you introduce a new player halfway through a D&D campaign and they quickly explain their deal after walking up to the party.

Kaden introduces his friend Layla, who explains that she’s a singer at the opera house, but can’t perform tonight because her mother is dying. Also she’s singing for King Garon, the evil king who is on vacation a week after starting a brutal war. Azura volunteers to perform in Layla’s steed so the party can do some patricide. Now, you may be thinking, did the game do the stupid trope of having Azura and Layla look identical? Surprisingly, no, they didn’t. Everything else about this chapter is so cliche I assumed they would, but they actually remembered Zola has illusion magic that the party never uses. Also, because we helped the person Kaden has to help, he now owes us a favor, and will totally kill dozens of soldiers in a war he doesn’t give a shit about if we ask him to.

Kaden

Kaden is a Kitsune, this game’s equivalent of Laguz or Taguel from past games. He wields a special weapon called a Beast Stone that allows him to fight by turning into a big ass fox. His personal skill heals units who heal him. He’s a glass canon who does extra damage to cavalry, giving him an interesting niche. His human design is fine, but not remarkable. His fox design is cool, especially regarding the blue fire that floats around him; that said, the spikes on the legs are weird. Personality wise, he seems to be a go lucky idiot who stumbled into joining us.

When the party arrives at the opera house, Corrin notices Elise, who looks sad. Azura, who doesn’t look like Layla for the player, goes on stage. Azura sings the only song she knows, the magic one that breaks mind control, which makes Garon...groan in increasing discomfort, which makes me also feel discomforted. Also Azura does a bunch of crazy water magic, which is a bit extra.

Garon orders his troops to capture us, because Zola betrayed us. Gasp. Shocking. Zola does admittedly beg Garon to spare us. Garon kills him for even suggesting it, right in front of his young daughter, because Garon is a cartoon supervillain. Zola dies begging Corrin to forgive him and Garon calls Corrin weak for having sympathy. Takumi threatens to kill Garon, but Corrin points out that they need to leave if they want to live. Which is smart; Garon has ridiculously high stats.

This battle sees our units fighting on boats floating in the opera house, which is a cool setting for a battle. On turn three, some reinforcements arrive. Xander, who’s still pissed about the whole traitor thing. With him are Peri, a cavalier with cotton candy hair, and...is that Inigo? That’s Inigo, from Awakening. That’s fucking Inigo! What is Inigo doing here, and more importantly, why is he working for the very obviously evil bad guys?

There’s a Dragon Vein you can use to freeze all the water, which would make this level easier, if it wasn’t already a broken easy level. To beat this level, you need to get Corrin to a specific spot. Corrin can’t walk on water, so you need to fight through an onslaught of tough enemies. There’s just one problem: Hinoka or Subaki can carry Corrin directly to the end. I fought the enemies, because why not, but I didn’t have to.

I ignored Garon because he’s able to one shot literally every unit in my army, but I did decide to take on team Xander. Side note, I looked up Garon’s battle quote after the fact, and he says this to Corrin: “I may not be your father, but I will slap you down like a child.” I take back everything bad I ever said about Garon.

Peri, as it turns out, is a sadistic sociopath, because Nohr. Inigo...excuse me, Laslow, blushes when we stab him. And Xander steals Inigo’s famous crit quote from the Princess Bride.

Peri and Laslow went down easy, but Xander was almost as bad as Garon. Even with his bonus against cavalry, Kaden only did one point of damage per hit. I had to resort to the classic strategy of throwing disposable soldiers at him until he was weak enough for Corrin to Dragonstone.

This was a great map, with a creative setting, multiple ways to approach it, tough bosses, and an exploit that makes it completely skippable. Still, it’s the only Birthright chapter with a creative goal, so it deserves a little credit.

After escaping the opera house, Xander chases after us, despite being defeated ten seconds earlier. Elise gets in his way, telling him that if he’s going to fight someone, he should fight her. As Corrin runs, Xander warns that it is her destiny to fight him.

After escaping Xander again, Corrin finds Azura collapsed on the ground, exhausted. She’s going to die at the end of the game, isn’t she?

[themurphyzone]

Absolutely Disastrous Ch 14

Ch 14: Anchors Aweigh! Setting Sail to Dewford Town!

Milo, Melissa, Zack, Amanda, Lydia, and their Pokémon emerged from Petalburg Woods without serious injury. Diogee had been a huge help in predicting where flaming tree branches and Slakoth would fall, while Milo’s pocket masks were great tools for avoiding smoke inhalation.

Since the local fire departments already had their Water-types combating the flames and rescuing the local wildlife, they didn’t stick around and continued on their way to Captain Jack’s seaside cottage. 

“Breaking news! The Rustboro Gym and Contest Hall have been destroyed, the Petalburg Woods is on fire, and Ace Trainer Kayla has nicknamed her Kecleon ‘Cleko’. What a beautiful nickname for a beautiful Kecleon! It’s a better name than before, how fortunate for Kayla and Cleko to experience the bond that unites trainer and Pokémon!”

Melissa muted her PokéNav, which was now reporting the detailed shopping habits of students at Lilycove Prep. 

To be honest, it was kinda creepy. 

The cottage overlooked a beach, where many fishermen hooked Magikarp and Tentacool. Zack latched onto Milo as a human shield, which made walking up to the cottage awkward. 

“I need to lay down a ground rule so Captain Jack doesn’t have an incentive to try and strand us on an island: don’t ask why he has a Chatot instead of Wingull,” Milo said. “He’s a bit touchy about that.” 

With that last bit of advice, he knocked on the door and accidentally put a large hole through the middle. Then the rest of the wooden slabs splintered into pieces. 

Captain Jack chased Gary around a table, completely ignoring their visitors and broken door. 

“Hey, Captain Jack!” Milo waved. “Sorry to interrupt, but when you’re done with your game, could you please take us to Dewford?” 

“Milo said you could give us a lift to Slateport,” Amanda added. 

“That was the last strawberry, Gary!” Captain Jack complained. “You know perfectly well it’s the last harvest of the season!” 

Gary twittered and fluffed his tail in Captain Jack’s direction. “Gary deserve! Like getting on nerves!” 

“I’m a reasonable man. I’ll just take the last clementine as payment,” Captain Jack said with a sly grin. 

“RAWK! BAWK!” Gary screeched. 

Captain Jack finally took notice of Milo and his friends, then quickly clamped his hands around Gary’s beak. Gary flapped his wings in protest. “Gary, keep your fowl beak shut around children!” Captain Jack exclaimed. Gary glared at him.  “And no, taking the last clementine does not qualify as cruel and unusual punishment!” 

“Uh, sure. Melissa, Zack, and I would like to go to Dewford please. And Amanda and Lydia are heading to Slateport,” Milo said. 

“The CEO of Mahlson Corp asked us to do a few favors. Do you know Captain Webber by any chance?” Lydia asked. 

Captain Jack frowned. “Ah, yes. The guy who snapped his fingers and claimed it was okay when we capsized on an island because he couldn’t predict the ocean currents properly. The guy who claimed it was okay when he was promoted because his father knows the first cousin of the fleet admiral and I got stuck on potato peeling duty for five years! The guy who opened the oven when I told him not to and utterly ruined my puff pastry so that I could never show my face at a dinner party again!”

“We probably shouldn’t open that can of Wurmple,” Melissa whispered. 

“Anyway,” Zack said slowly, hoping to get Captain Jack focused on navigating and not some years-old grudge with a fellow seagoer. “We just wanna head to Dewford and Slateport.”

“Take the plunge! Take the plunge!” Gary squawked. 

“You don’t mind if we take Gary’s favorite vessel, right?” Captain Jack asked. 

“Nope, we don’t mind at all!” Milo said. 

When Gary’s favorite vessel turned out to be a very old and very foreboding ship, Milo realized that his friends cared deeply about their mode of transportation. 

“Next time, I’ll be the negotiator,” Melissa muttered, deftly avoiding a loose wooden board that promptly crashed into a storage area below. 

Amanda helped Zack into another life jacket. He heavily resembled a traffic light with the three life jackets he’d already donned. 

“Don’t you have enough life jackets?” Lydia asked in concern. 

“Welcome to the S.S Plunge,” Captain Jack said proudly, kissing the faded lettering on the captain’s door. “No storm, stone, or iceberg can strike her down to Davy Jones! She’s virtually unsinkable!” 

Everyone followed Zack’s example and put on another life jacket. 

“I’ve never been on a ship that wasn’t sinking before,” Milo admitted as Captain Jack undid the restraints that tied the S.S Plunge to the docks. He caught Zack’s bewildered look, then realized that was probably not the best reassurance to give someone who was deeply afraid of what lurked below. “Sorry, Zack.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Zack shrugged. “Though let’s try to keep the fish Pokémon out of the boat, alright?” 

“Do you have Jellicent in Hoenn?” Lydia asked. She peered at the ocean closely. “We’re always told to avoid their territory at sea. It’s said they make homes out of underwater ship graveyards, and if you wander too close, they’ll drag you down into the abyss where you’ll never be seen again.” 

“We don’t have Jellicent here,” Melissa said. “I’ve only seen them when Milo and Sara begged me to stay for an all-night Dr. Magnezone marathon.” She rubbed her arms in embarrassment. “I was jumpy for days after that...” 

“Episode 79: ’The Depths of Bermuda Bay’,” Milo said, grinning at the memory of Melissa clinging to a pillow when the red-eyed Jellicent flitted across the screen. He’d seen her face runaway Camerupt with nothing but a stuffed Snubbull and a lanyard, but seeing her afraid of a puppet where the stitching was highly visible was downright surreal. 

That particular episode was infamous for its creepy imagery in the Dr. Magnezone community. 

Lydia sighed in relief. “I’m glad. Their tentacles creep me out so much.”

The S.S Plunge shuddered and lurched forward, sending everyone crashing to the floor. 

“Sorry!” Captain Jack said hastily over an intercom. “She’s just pulling out of port. We’ll be in Dewford in an hour and a half, give or take a few minutes!”

“Since we have a while, who wants to help me record the events that happened so far?” Melissa asked. “This’ll be a great baseline for the life story I plan to sell.” 

One hour later, Milo and Diogee had settled into their niche of driving away hungry Wingull while everyone else helped Melissa remember the important things. They had fun embellishing their run-in with Team Magma in Rusturf Tunnel. 

“So then Torchic and Shroomish are hanging on by a thread, an inevitable defeat drawing closer, then Marshtomp suddenly appears to save the day!” Lydia exclaimed. 

“Or we could say that Treecko used his speed to confuse them, allowing Milo to swoop in and take both Gary and the briefcase,” Amanda suggested. 

Zack rolled his eyes. “Why do all your suggestions involve Milo and his Pokémon ultimately defeating Team Magma? What are Melissa, Bradley, and I doing?” 

“You were incapacitated due to the Whismur,” Lydia replied. “Besides, the leader of the group is always the one who does the confronting. The rest of the party usually gets preoccupied with other things.” 

“Since when is Milo the leader?” Zack asked. 

“Since he got the gene for good charisma,” Melissa replied. “Keep ‘em coming, everyone. These are gold so far!” 

“Zack, look! I’m king of the world!” Milo laughed as he ran up to the bow of the ship, spreading his arms wide as the cool sea breeze whipped around him. 

Zack stood a safe distance away while Diogee held onto Milo’s life jackets with his teeth to prevent him from falling. Upon closer inspection, the railing didn’t hold much integrity.

Milo stepped back just as part of the railing broke off and dropped into the rippling ocean below. Then the ship lurched again, and Diogee lost his grip on Milo. Milo stumbled over the edge, though his fall was broken by a lifeboat. 

“Milo overboard!” Zack hollered. Milo heard Zack’s frantic footsteps as he tried to figure out a way to help. 

“Zack, it’s okay! I have a grapple!” Milo yelled, He waved the rope above his head and threw it as far he could. He tugged, frowning slightly when the line didn’t feel tight enough to support his weight. 

He pulled back to try again, only to jump out of the way as a blur suddenly crashed into the lifeboat and made the entire structure sway. Milo braced himself against the seat until the rocking stopped. 

“Sorry, Zack!” Milo apologized as he removed the hook from the hem of Zack’s jeans. 

“The Charmander are singing...” Zack giggled, still dizzy from his fall. 

Don’t worry, we’ll get you up, Melissa had texted. 

Ten minutes later, everyone clung onto life preservers and tried to keep the saltwater out of their mouths as Captain Jack towed them into Dewford Town. 

Dewford Town: Trendy phrases! Trendy surfing! Trendy fishing! Are you on the cutting edge of Hoenn trends? 

The billboard featured a supermodel and her Marill striking a flashy pose. 

“It’s been five minutes, and I’m already sick of hearing the word ‘trendy’,” Melissa said. “Amanda and Lydia are so lucky.” 

Amanda and Lydia only spent enough time in Dewford to change into dry clothes before hurrying back to the S.S Plunge. They hadn’t been interested in exploring since they heard three different people declaring their everlasting love for potion festivals. 

Captain Jack agreed to come back to Dewford when he finished taking Amanda and Lydia to Slateport. Thankfully, he had no hard feelings about the damage the S.S Plunge sustained during their little voyage. 

Besides, Milo had grown up on Dr. Magnezone. He could handle a little obsessiveness based around trendy sayings. 

“BIG LAUNDRY! I NEED MERCHANDISE OF BIG LAUNDRY!” someone screeched into a megaphone. 

“Big laundry is so two days ago,” a posh man sniffed. “Potion festivals are in.” 

“Potion festivals should be incorporated into everybody’s daily lives!” a woman sobbed. “I can’t live without potion festivals!” 

Then again, Milo knew what Dr. Magnezone fans were talking about. 

“I don’t know nothin’ about paintings! And we wouldn’t tell ya cause youse obviously one of dem potion festival wackos!”

“We be makin’ ye talk, landlubber!” a familiar voice snarled. 

As Milo, Diogee, Melissa, and Zack headed south, they caught a glimpse of a trio in blue bandanas and scruffy, cheap pirate clothing from a Halloween store cornering an old woman against the sand dunes. 

“Do you know who we are?” the only woman in the trio taunted, pointing to the skull-like ‘A’ in the middle of her bandana. “Team Aqua, scourge of humanity! We take what we want, and that includes information!” 

The third member of the trio remained silent, coolly watching his teammates try to wheedle information out of their would-be informant. His bandana was set low over his eyes, hiding all but his dark, prominent eyebags from view. 

Diogee jumped between the old woman and the Aqua members, crouching low and growling. 

“I thought Officer Elliot carted you off,” Melissa said to Patchy, who stepped back after Diogee waved his horn at him. 

“Aye, but there be only three sea shanties a man can take,” Patchy leered. “I know ye three scallywags. And I be not the forgivin’ type.” 

He threw a Poké Ball and released an aggressive-looking fish Pokémon. Zack eyed the razor-sharp teeth warily before sending out Treecko. 

“Zack, stick to long-range attacks,” Milo advised. “Carvanha has the Rough Skin ability. Its skin is super abrasive and can really hurt Treecko if you use contact moves.” 

Zack nodded. “Don’t worry, we’ll be careful.” 

“Mari! John!” Patchy barked. “I be needin’ assistance!” 

Mari eagerly jumped in with her Masquerain, and Melissa sent out Torchic to cover Treecko’s weaknesses. Patchy and Mari forgot the old woman entirely, but John intercepted her as she tried to sneak off and whispered something in her ear. 

The old woman pointed frantically at a nearby cave, and John let her go with a curt nod. She muttered something about potion festival hooligans before rushing back to town, unwilling to stay any longer than she had to. 

“What are you waiting for, John?” Mari called. “Send someone out already so we can crush ‘em!” 

John crossed his arms. “Not worth my time and effort,” he grunted harshly. “Unlike you bozos, I choose my battles wisely.” 

Carvanha barely managed to intercept a Fire Spin intended for Masquerain. 

“And I also pay attention to what my opponents are doing,” John added. 

Mari growled. “That was cheap, you brat!”

“Not my fault. You gave me the opportunity,” Melissa shrugged. “Fire Spin again!” 

“Oh no you don’t! Use Water Sport!” Mari yelled.

Bubbles formed along Masquerain’s body just as Fire Spin engulfed it. Melissa pursed her lips when the bubbles cushioned the majority of Fire Spin’s damage. 

Meanwhile, Carvanha bit down on Treecko’s tail and refused to let go. Treecko winced but didn’t cry out in pain, and Zack was watching the thrashing Water-type carefully in case it flailed in his direction. 

“Torchic, get Carvanha off Treecko!” Melissa shouted. 

Torchic scored her feet against Carvanha’s side, and it let go of Treecko with an angry snap of its teeth. Torchic hopped from foot to foot, chirping in pain from Rough Skin.

Torchic and Treecko lost their footing due to Masquerain’s Gust, slipping against the sand as they struggled to their feet. 

“Melissa, we need a plan!” Zack said frantically as Treecko was hit by a Hidden Power from Carvanha. It didn’t seem to be a type that was super-effective against Grass, but it still did a number on Treecko. 

“I’m trying! But she just has to have Water Sport and—Torchic, roll!” 

Torchic narrowly avoided a Bubble attack, then sent an Ember at Masquerain. It managed to clip the edge of Masquerain’s left wing, but didn’t do enough damage to slow it down. 

“Treecko, Bullet Seed on Carvanha!” Zack ordered. 

“He be an annoyin’ one,” Patchy said. “Use Rage!” 

Carvanha charged at Treecko, its body illuminated by a dangerous red light. Treecko fired a barrage of seeds to counter, but Carvanha broke through after a brief stalemate and slammed into Treecko. 

Treecko skidded across the beach, landing partway in the surf. 

Diogee snarled as Zack shouted at Treecko to get up, but Milo held him back. Diogee’s interference would be heavily frowned on by both sides, regardless of their morals.

Torchic held her opponents at bay with Fire Spin for now, but she would eventually be overwhelmed. 

“You have to help, Treecko!” Zack insisted. “We can’t let these Aqua goons win!” 

“Who’re you calling goon, brat?” Mari snarled. “Just for that, you’re going down first! Finish that Treecko with Gust!” 

“Don’t let that Gust hit Treecko!” Melissa yelled.

Ember interfered with Masquerain’s ability to produce a wind blast strong enough to knock out Treecko, but Torchic was wide open for Carvanha. 

“Argh, Bite that wee chick and don’t let go!” Patchy crowed. 

Carvanha clamped down on Torchic’s head and brushed its fins against her feathers, its Rough Skin crippling her further. 

Melissa reluctantly held up Torchic’s Poké Ball, ready to forfeit her part in the battle. Torchic wouldn’t last much longer at this rate. 

Diogee took several steps towards the surf, and Milo followed to make sure he didn’t jump into the middle of the battle. Diogee seemed incredibly curious about the white, glowing body lying in the surf. The body grew taller, and a white, leafy projection grew from its head. 

“Zack, Treecko’s evolving!” Milo called. 

Zack gasped as the white glow faded and his Grovyle’s brilliant green and red scales shone in the sunlight. 

Grovyle shook the water out of his leafy tail, then fixed his opponents with a stern glare. 

“Can you still fight?” Zack asked. 

Grovyle slashed the air in confirmation. 

Zack grinned, and while Mari and Patchy floundered for strategies on how to deal with Grovyle, Torchic cried out as a blinding white glow covered her body. 

Melissa shrieked with glee as two long arms tipped with sharp claws emerged from Torchic’s torso. “Dislodge that Carvanha, Tor-no, Combusken!” she screamed triumphantly. 

Combusken yanked a shocked Carvanha off her head, and Patchy screamed in rage as she drop-kicked it straight into Masquerain. Masquerain squealed as Carvanha slammed into it. Rough Skin dug into its wings, and the ability had suddenly become a hindrance for the Aqua Goons. 

“Turn off Rough Skin!” Mari shouted at Patchy, glaring daggers at him. 

“Lassie, I would, but-” 

“Well?” 

“’Tis beyond me mind.” 

“THEN FIGURE IT OUT, SEAWEED BREATH!” 

Grovyle disappeared, then reappeared behind Masquerain as it shook sand out of its wings. The Grass-type slashed downwards, and Masquerain slammed into the sandy ground, too exhausted to continue. 

“That was Aerial Ace!” Milo shouted. “Grovyle knows Aerial Ace! That move is super cool! My dad’s Absol knows it!” 

Zack grinned. “Awesome.” 

Mari huffed disdainfully as she recalled Masquerain. “Patchy, you better beat them for me.” 

But Carvanha stood no chance against a powered-up Fire Spin and Bullet Seed combo and fainted without landing a hit on either Combusken or Grovyle. 

Patchy recalled Carvanha, but he didn’t seem too angry with his loss. “Eh, ‘tis a good fight,” he said. 

“This isn’t over!” Mari howled. “John, let me borrow your Pokémon! It wouldn’t take much to beat them now!” 

“You lost valuable time by taunting instead of attacking,” John stated coldly. “You lost it when your opponents evolved. You didn’t take advantage of Combusken’s Flying-type weakness, nor did you rely on Masquerain’s strengths.”

Mari opened her mouth to protest, but John beat her to the punch. 

“My Pokémon don’t tolerate incompetence.” 

“Aye. He has a point, he has,” Patchy agreed. “The scallywags won fairly, and ‘tis a disgrace to claim otherwise.” 

Mari let out a wordless scream of rage and stalked off. Patchy followed her, though he kept his distance. 

“Boy.” 

Milo blinked, then realized John was addressing him. It was hard to tell since his eyes were hidden. “Um, me?” Milo awkwardly pointed to himself. 

John snorted. “No, the piece of seaweed to your left. Yes, I’m talking to you. You have an Absol.” 

Milo glanced at Diogee, whose eyes flitted between Milo and John, unsure of the Aqua member’s threat level. “He’s a great partner,” Milo finally said. 

“Keep him close,” John advised. “You might need him a lot sooner than you’d expect.” 

“Of course,” Milo agreed. 

John trudged away, kicking up sand as he grumbled about his ridiculous coworkers. 

“I don’t get those guys at all,” Zack said. 

Melissa released Combusken from a celebratory hug and made a note on her phone. “Maybe I should add another charge for every questionable hire Dakota makes for his team,” she mused. 

They made a brief stop at the Pokémon Center to heal Combusken and Grovyle, then began asking the locals for directions to Granite Cave. Unfortunately, most of them believed they were either potion festival hooligans or big laundry punks and refused to give them any useful information. 

“Is there anyone in this town who isn’t crazy?” Melissa sighed, throwing a rock into the ocean in frustration. 

“WHOO-HOO! HEY, YOU ON THE BEACH! MOVE IF YOU DON’T WANNA GET SWAMPED!” someone shouted. 

A strange figure rode a giant wave, surfing rapidly towards the beach at an alarming pace. Diogee dragged Milo out of the way as Melissa and Zack took cover behind a cluster of boulders. The wave crashed onto the beach with a resounding roar, depositing a speedboat that had been painted to resemble a heavily fortified castle and its rider on the sand. 

The rider took off her helmet and squeezed the water out of her long, blonde hair. 

“Veronica?” Milo gasped. 

“Long time, no see, Milo!” Veronica grinned. Diogee circled her excitedly, and Veronica laughed as she stroked his head. “Aw, Diogee’s grown so much! You’ve been taking real good care of each other!” 

“You know each other?” Zack asked.

Milo nodded. “Melissa, Zack, this is Veronica. She was the best babysitter I’ve ever had! Haven’t seen her in like, a lot of fortnights, but she’s still awesome! And she gave me this backpack!” 

“I always wondered why you were attached to that thing,” Melissa remarked. 

“Last babysitter standing,” Veronica stated proudly. “I’ve also added pizza delivery girl and Dewford Gym Leader to my skillset. You up for a challenge, Milo? Cause I have a Knuckle Badge with your name on it.” 

AN: The S.S Plunge is the name of the ship that takes Dakota to the Island. It’s in the background when Dakota is at the docks and looking for the ship.

ORAS’ default trendy saying is Potion Festivals. Unfortunately, you can’t mix and match to get the dumbest or most risque sayings like in Gen 3.

Team Aqua returns! I was listening to Heroes of Hoenn while writing the battle scene. It helps if you really want that triumphant feeling.

The anime does establish that Rough Skin has an off switch, but Patchy hasn’t figured that out.

Veronica is awesome.

[nightfoliage]

Fic - Trick, Treat, or Change

Series: Gravity Falls

Pairing: Stanford Pines/Stanley Pines - Stancest

For: @wannabeagrunklefan

Prompt: Ford and Stan’s first Halloween together after the finale.

Prompts for @a-stancest-halloween (traditional category): Candy flavored kisses, pumpkins and jack o lanterns, Halloween on the Stan o War, Trick or Treat

Tags: incest, twincest, canon verse, third person, mostly Ford’s POV, unreliable narrator, injuries and description of injuries, amnesia, selective amnesia, lies of omissions, Halloween, Pines Family, extended family and friends, gratuitous amount of emotions, fluff, romance, kissing, tropes tropes tropes, A Stancest Halloween

Word Count ~16.3k

Summary: It’s like a dream come true on the Stan o’ War. Stan and Ford are having the time of their lives; having action packed adventures, traveling to unknown lands, and discovering anomalies together.

But when the adventures end, they find themselves unsure what to do with themselves. They haven’t lived together or talked to each other in years and it shows with every awkward silence.

Then October rolls around and Stan bring a blast from the past. They decide to celebrate Halloween like they’re kids again. Suddenly they’re getting along and are closer than ever. Ford’s enjoying all these changes and the celebrations. Stan is really going to town with all these very familiar Halloween traditions...

Author’s Note: I had a lot a lot of fun with this one, but it was a pain to edit. It’s a whopping 50 page oneshot. If you enjoy the fic, let me know. I was considering doing one from Stan’s POV. Hope you guys enjoy~

Read below or on ao3:

“Pines! Pines! Pines!”

The kraken swings a tentacle in their direction, but it’s too late, their boat is sailing off into the distance. The creature makes a truly dreadful croaking sound, but the Stan’s are already laughing it up. They wind their arms around each other’s shoulders and cheer even with the wind and the waves crashing against them.

The boat swings dangerously towards the water and they break apart to man the ship. Ford goes to steer while Stan controls the sail. They work in tandem with each other, easily navigating the rough waters.

There are a few close waves, but they eventually break out of the storm into calm waters. The rain clouds are behind them and they can see the stars. The starlight shines brilliantly against the night sky and reflect against the water.

Then Stan breaks into a yawn, which causes Ford to break into a yawn.

They chuckle and start slapping each other’s backs before getting to their nightly routines. They set the anchor down and start folding the sail. Then they enter the cabin.

Stan immediately starts stripping and piles his wet clothes in the corner for later. He snags some water, then he strides off towards the bathroom.

Ford frowns at the mess.

“Stan, I’m going to throw your clothes outside!” Ford hollars after him.

Stan makes a positive sound, which makes Ford sigh. It was supposed to be a threat not a favor. Maybe Stan could endure salt crusted clothing, but Ford been on the run for enough years that he was going to enjoy having clean clothes after an adventure.

Instead of tossing Stan’s clothes out like he threatened, Ford scoops them up so he can hang them up to dry. Then he takes off his jacket and his shoes and puts those aside. He can deal with those later after chronicling their latest adventure. Pulling his latest journal out, he starts writing about their encounter. It was always best to write things down while the events were fresh.

Meanwhile, Stan heats up the water in the tank and makes sure to drink his water. He takes out just enough hot water to wipe himself off and to rinse himself. He doesn’t like roughing it, but old habits die hard. Even the word “rationing” makes Stan want to start to counting their money. Instead he takes inventory of their pantry everyday and keeps the showers to a minimum.

Once he’s clean and dry he goes out to the kitchen to heat up some hot soup for them before they go to sleep.

Then he spots Ford.

The man is still in his wet clothes for pete's sake! All twelve of his fingers must be going blue and Stan bets that Ford hadn’t even hydrated. They were miles and miles away from shore. What would happen if Ford got sick?

To add insult to injury, the thing that grabbed Ford’s attention is one of those dang journals. Didn’t those things cause enough trouble?

Stan goes over to the table and snatches the journal.

“Hey! The ink wasn’t dry!” Ford cries out.

“The ink wasn’t dry,” Stan snorts. Before Ford can protest, Stan manhandles his brother out of his chair, then out of his wet clothes, and pushes him into the shower.

Ford grumbles the whole time, but goes about taking a shower when he realizes the water is hot.

In the meantime, Stan hangs up his brother’s clothing then heats up vegetable soup for the two of them. It’s one of the recipes Mabel and Dipper sent over, which means it has plenty of fiber, is easy to eat without his dentures, but flavorful enough that Stan won’t complain about eating old people food. He waters it down. It’ll last longer and they’ll get more water this way.

When it’s heating, Stan’s attention is brought back to the journal on the table.

He sighs and turns it towards him. A picture of the Kraken looks out from the page at him. Stan admires the picture. It’s a great rendition and the story will be a hit with the kids. He gently brushes a finger against one of the tentacles and his fingers come back black. Stan frowns. The ink really wasn’t dry.

Keeping an eye on the soup, Stan gently blows on the page until the image is dry. He double checks the rest of the pages, also dry, then gently shelves the journal along with the others.

In the other room, Ford is enjoying his shower. The hot water is heavenly and he makes sure to use his favorite soap and loofah. He lets the water wash his previous irritation with Stan away and indulges in thinking about what adventure the two of them will have next.

When he’s finally done and dry he goes to get dressed in their room.

Ford lightly shivers. It was probably a good idea to take a hot shower after the cold rain.

He shivers again and rubs his arms. Or maybe the boat was getting cold. It wasn’t summer anymore, they were well into September and they were traveling pretty far north.

He puts on another layer and grabs a layer for Stan. Then he starts the heater. Ford’s coming off the adrenaline and it isn’t long before they both crash. Stan in particular has worries about the cold, so Ford points the heater towards Stan’s bed.

When Ford goes into the kitchen, Stan has already doled out soup for the both of them. He tosses the jacket to Stan, who puts it on.

They’re both exhausted and crashing from their high so they eat in silence.

Or maybe that’s just on Stan’s end, because Ford would love to talk about the kraken, but Stan has already put away his journal. Sometimes Ford can get passionate about the journals, so he can understand why Stan might want some quiet time before bed.

Unbeknownst to Ford, Stan is having similar thoughts. Stan wants to ask how the soup is so he can report back to the kids. And he wouldn’t mind staying up longer, but Ford seems a little subdued. Maybe he’s still sour about Stan putting away the journal.

After they finish their meal they quietly get ready for bed. They settle in for the night. The room is warm, their bellies are full, and it’s quiet. The conditions are perfect for sleeping, however neither of them do.

Instead, Ford is perfectly still, turned away from his brother, pretending to sleep. He keeps his breathing even and silent because he doesn’t want to disturb Stan.

Stan is turning and adjusting every few moments, trying to get comfortable. His breathing is a bit heavy, but the movement and the sound isn’t very different from his resting state.

Neither of them talk to each other even though they desperately want to.

-000-

Ford and Stan have a few more adventures that go perfectly (depending on your definition of perfect). The important thing is that they’re the best of partners and manage to get through every obstacle whole and alive.

However, they’re still working on being civil to each other in their downtime. Often times, they avoid each other. One is outside while the other is indoor, or they’re in different areas of the deck, or they try not to be in the same with each other besides when they sleep or talk to the kids.

It’s tiring and when they find themselves restocking at a port city, they make excuses to separate from each other.

When Ford is out of range, Stan calls Mabel and Dipper. He opts out of calling them face to face, instead only leaving the audio on.

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel shrieks into the phone.

“Hey, Grunkle Stan!” Dipper says, just enthusiastically but not as loud.

It makes Stan chuckle and smile. Totally worth the loss of hearing. “Hey, kids! I had a few minutes so I wanted to call.”

Immediately Mabel and Dipper fill in their uncle about the going ons in their lives. Middle school is both simultaneously the greatest and the worstest (Mabel’s exact words). The worstest, because of puberty, cliques, and they’re in separate classes all the time (on purpose, the school tries to separate twins). But the greatest because unlike elementary, there are tons of people and they’ve found their respective niches in school.

Luckily, their new friends are cool enough to accept Dipper and Mabel’s close relationship. They’ve gotten more friends out of it as a result.

“So what about you, Grunkle Stan? What’s shaking?” Mabel asks when they’ve finally exhausted the topic of school.

Well, Stan was hoping being on a boat together would solve all of his problems with his brother, but apparently even the Stan o’ War can’t produce miracles.

Instead, Stan talks about teenage appropriate adventures for the twins. However, he makes the mistake of mentioning the soup.

“Oh yeah, Ford and I tried the soup recipe. It was great,” Stan says off-handedly. He’s staring at some potential provisions for the boat.

“You liked it? How about Grunkle Ford? Was there enough fiber?” Dipper asks.

“Uh...” Now that he thinks about it, Ford never mentioned whether or not he liked the soup. And he never did ask.

Well, a small fib couldn’t hurt them.

“Oh, he thought it was great, and a great source of nutrition,” Stan says.

There, that was something Ford would say.

“Can I talk to him? He had some strong opinions on the necessity of onions, but I thought it might be okay if they were cooked instead of raw,” Dipper goes on.

“Yeah! You there, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel pipes in.

Stan mentally curses.

“Sorry kids, he can’t come to the phone,” Stan says.

“Can’t come to the phone? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s fine. We just aren’t shopping together.”

There’s silence from the other end. Then the twins start whispering quietly enough that Stan can’t pick up their words.

Mabel speaks first: “Are you two fighting, Grunkle Stan?”

“What? No,” Stan automatically says.

“Are you sure, Grunkle Stan? Everything’s okay between you and Grunkle Ford?” This time, Dipper is the one to pose the question.

Stan hesitates, which was probably the worst thing he could do. The kids could smell blood in the water.

“Ah ha!” Mabel exclaims loudly into the receiver. “Grunkle Stan! Just tell us what’s wrong!”

“There’s nothing wrong between the nerd and I,” Stan says.

“If there’s nothing wrong, then why are you so defensive?” Dipper asks, while Mabel makes a noise of agreement.

There’s nothing wrong with him and Ford, it’s just not going right.

“You know, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper starts, “If there’s something I’ve learned over this summer it’s that talking things out can solve a lot of problems.”

“Yeah! And that you shouldn’t assume everything is okay,” Mabel adds.

“Oh, and you should definitely not keep secrets that could affect the fate of the world from your twin. That’s a big one,” Dipper says quite sagely.

“And if worse comes to worse, just hug it out!” Mabel finishes.

“Yeah, that couldn’t hurt to try,” Dipper agrees.

“We’ll see, kids,” Stan says, not agreeing or promising them anything.

Luckily, they do not call him out on his ambiguous statement. They let him change the subject to another adventure. Then they talk a bit more before hanging up.

The world is suddenly silent after the call ends. He doesn’t allow himself to wallow in the silence, instead he considers the twins’ advice. If there was anyone that knew how to work out twin problems, Mabel and Dipper would be the ones to ask. And their advice was sound: talking through things, don’t assume, don’t keep secrets, and hugging it out.

Stan has to blink a few times to stop himself from getting emotional. He’s proud of these kids. They’ve grown so much since they first came to Gravity Falls, they’ve become so brave and smart.

He just doesn’t know if he can do the same.

After all, the root of the issue is that everything is perfect. He’s living the dream. Going on adventures with Ford on the Stan o’ War was everything he ever wanted. Hell, he’s gotten more than what he ever dreamed of: a family and a great place he can call home.

So maybe the root of the problem is just Stan and the fact that he’s in love with his twin and wants more.

-000-

“I don’t know what it is, Fiddleford. There’s this tension between us that just doesn’t dissipate,” Ford explains.

Apparently, Ford and Stan had the same idea. While Stan was restocking and talking to the kids, Ford was restocking and calling Fiddleford. (Although he and Fiddleford were repairing their friendship, Ford found talking to a fellow colleague about his issues much less embarrassing than talking to his niblings. At least Fiddleford was a good sport about listening to his problems.)

“What kind of tension, Ford?” Fiddleford asked.

“I don’t know how to describe it. We work together perfectly, we have each other’s backs, we practically read each other’s minds! I’ve never had a better partner- oh, I mean-”

“It’s fine, Ford. I get that you and Stan are twins. You have a relationship that is unique. There’s not much that can match that, I understand,” Fiddleford says.

Ford lets out a sigh of relief. They haven't gotten around to talking about their past partnership. Fiddleford doesn’t remember all of it and Ford was possessed for more time than he would care to admit.

“How about we try something, Ford? Instead of thinking of the now, what about the future? What do you want to change about your guys’ relationship?”

Ford thinks of his journals and their adventures.

“I’ll go first,” Fiddleford starts.

Ford’s lucky that Fiddleford’s leading this conversation and that he knows what he’s talking about. The man has always been the people person out of the two of them.

“I’m glad to be living with my son, Tate again. We’re reconnecting. However, I’ve been away for so long, not myself for so long, that he hasn’t relied on me for anything for years…”

That sounded familiar.

And it sounded like a good idea…

“Now your turn, Ford. And you can’t use what I said.”

Damn.

“Well...” Ford didn’t know where he was going with this. He started with their most recent interactions. “It would be nice if Stan stopped draping his wet clothes everywhere.”

“Go on,” Fiddleford encourages. His voice is very non judgemental and Ford feels himself relaxing.

“He could take better care of himself.” Then Ford thinks back to Stan slamming his journals shut. “And if he has a issue with things he should be able to tell me.”

“What else?”

“I think that’s the biggest problem,” Ford thinks of all the time they spend in silence around each other. “We’re just not talking to each other. It’s not like how things used to be.”

“Stanford…” Fiddleford’s voice is gentle and Ford is almost afraid to hear what the man will say next. “From what you’ve told me, not talking was an issue you two had in the beginning.”

Ah yes, the science fair experiment. Maybe if they had just talked- no. They had started down different paths even before that tragedy.

“I think that you two should talk,” Fiddleford suggestions.

Ford made a pained noise into the phone.

Fiddleford chuckled.

“At the very least, how about trying to be friendly again?”

That was a little more doable. They were best friends before when they had lived together for years. Maybe living together again would rekindle things.

“Thanks, old friend. The advice is appreciated,” Ford says after a sigh.

“Why all you have to do is ask,” Fiddleford teases.

Ford snorts. “Are you sure you aren’t helping me because you love gossip? How’s the town, know everybody’s business now?”

Fiddleford mock gasps. “Why Stanford Pines, how could you accuse me of such a thing.”

“Quite easily, Fiddleford,” Ford says. “Thank you.”

“Well, you’ve learned how to say thank you, talking and getting along with your brother will be as easy as pie,” Fiddleford says.

Ford chuckles, “I suppose it could be.”

Unable to take anymore discussion about feelings, Ford segues into their most recent scientific discoveries. Fiddleford allows it and they chat about their recent projects. Ford focuses on the adventures instead of the creatures (Fiddleford was never interested in them and now had negative associations with them), and Fiddleford tells him about all the inventions that he’s made within the last week (over a dozen). Fiddleford also keeps him appraised about the town. Everybody seems to be doing well. Soon Ford and Stan will receive their own update from Soos and Wendy.

Finally, they end their call.

Ford is glad to have a friend like Fiddleford. That man was the most well-adjusted soul he ever met, and that including the Old Man McGucket personality.

Ford ponders Fiddleford’s advice, slowly reviewing their conversation. In conclusion, Ford decides that the only course of action is to try and get along with his brother.

Talking about their feelings, getting everything out in the open, admitting his feelings, well, that can wait.

-000-

In the end, neither of them get the chance to talk.

When they leave port it starts raining everyday. Each day is wet and gloomy and neither Ford nor Stan feel like doing anything but trying to stay dry and warm. They talk about going back to land, but decide to tough it out. A little rain never killed anyone.

Then the storm rolls in.

One moment they’re asleep in their beds, the next moment Ford finds himself falling out of bed while Stan finds himself pressed against the wall.

They scramble to get dressed and run outside. Bad idea. The door barely opens because they’re being battered in all directs by the wind. They force the door open and see their boat in the middle of a hurricane.

“HOW DID WE NOT NOTICE A HURRICANE!” Stan yells so he can be heard over the roar of water and wind.

“IT DOESN'T LOOK NATURAL!” Ford yells back.

“NO KIDDING!”

They both hustle to make sure their sail doesn’t get ripped off by the wind. After that’s done, they go and secure the rest of the deck.

Then things start to get weird.

“Is that a fucking face in the clouds?” Stan swears. They’re roped together for safety, now within hearing distance of each other. Unfortunately they need to stay outside to make sure the boat doesn’t capsize.

“It’s an illusion in the clouds- oh that is a face.”

Something inhuman peeks out from out of the clouds, lightning surrounding its features. The face is round and storm cloud grey with large round eyes and a large grin. It is gigantic and their small boat doesn’t even register to such a giant.

Lighting cracks down from the sky and rain continues to pelt them as the wind tosses them around.

Then the lightning arcs across the water.

“What the-“

Then droplets start to fly across their vision.

“Oh no,” Ford manages to say before he starts to cling to the ship.

The anomaly is starting to affect gravity.

Ford immediately reaches for Stan, who reaches back.

Ford tells himself that they’re tied together, that they’re holding each other, that it’s only a storm they have to weather through. This is nothing like the portal.

His body starts to lift of the ship.

He hates gravity anomalies.

Until this event is over, he won’t let go of Stan.

Their boat get pulls in every direction and the end up in the eye of the storm. Thunder continuously cracks and booms around them, while the lightning seems to be coming from all directions. It’s not just coming from the sky but from the air and the water.

They hold onto the boat for dear life and manage to wrap their arms around each other. Only the rope from the sail and their combined weight is holding them down.

The winds and rain are beating against their back, practically blinding them but out of the corner of Ford’s eyes he spies a bolt of lightning streak closer to them.

Ford pales. He thinks of the metal plate in his skull. It’s only a matter of time before he’s hit.

“We’re getting out of here!” Stan yells.

He starts to move and Ford clings to him.

“Hold onto the rope!” Stan yells and moves to let go.

Ford grabs onto the rope (which is attached to Stanley, he hasn’t let go of him yet), as Stan maneuvers to the cabin so they can get inside.

The boat jolts and Ford finds himself thrown upward. He’s still holding onto the rope as Stan yells his name.

The lightning is closer now and any moment he’ll be hit.

The rope becomes slack in his hands and he tries to twist towards Stan. He can see Stan, see that he’s approaching Ford now. He hopes Stan doesn’t slip off the boat, because he’s not in the position to save him.

Then he feels himself move in a different direction.

Another gravity change?

The rope is now tight in his hands and he’s moving. It’s Stan, reeling him in.

Wait, he’s not pulling him in, he’s actually using himself as a pivot to spin Ford towards the cabin.

Gravity changes again and instead of floating, Ford finds himself starting to move through the air. His body starts spinning and he can’t maneuver himself. He stops when his body hits something solid. He hisses at the pain, but doesn’t let go of the rope. Instead he curls in on himself, trying to protect himself as he slams into something else when the gravity changes again.

Eventually, the gravity shifts stop and Ford finds himself on solid ground. He takes a moment to catch his breath. Every part of him is cold and numb and everything that isn’t, hurts to hell. Ford forces himself to flex his fingers which makes him groan in pain when he realizes they’re smushed against the floor and his body.

Luckily, he is still holding onto the rope.

Ford manages to tug up on it and feels a weight at the end. There’s an answering tug back.

Ford wants to laugh in relief. He’s glad he didn’t let go.

The pain from his fingers makes him roll onto his back where he spasms and gasps in pain. His whole back is on fire, but he can’t move, can only let his body tremble to relieve the sensation.

After what feels like eons, Ford curls in on himself. It brings him some relief, brings back that numb sensation and Ford feels his mind slowly lower into itself and he drifts off...

-000-

Ford feels himself sit up and start hacking. He’s not getting enough oxygen, but his body doesn’t want to breath. Instead his body wants to spit out all the phlegm and god-awful water that’s blocking his throat. He takes a few shuddery gasps before he’s forced to start coughing again. His throat burns and his head hurts, but even more terrible is how sore he is. Every forceful movement is hell on his body and he clutches at himself trying to get a hold of himself.

After coughing up what feels like the whole damn ocean, Ford manages to breath normally.

He takes his time to simply breath.

He would collapse into himself except he knows that will only bring him more pain. He sways and he tries to steady himself.

Ford hisses when his hands hit the floor. His hands are on fire, but the ground is cool and brings him some relief. After cooling them, he manages to unglue his eyes open. Surprisingly his glasses are still on his face, but the lenses are terribly smudged. There’s no energy left in him to clean them so he sweeps them above his head. Then he squints at his hands.

They’re red and raw, with deep indents in them.

He hadn’t even noticed the pain when he was holding the rope-

Stan!

Ford scrambles up and attempts to tugs on the rope. Unfortunately he finds his balance has left him and he walks sideways until his side meets a wall.

He swallows a curse and uses the wall to keep himself upright.

Then he notices that he’s actually in the cabin. Stan’s maneuver worked. He ended up inside.

The rope trails outside onto the deck.

There hasn’t been an answering tug.

The thought of Stan lying unconscious while he’s safe inside-

Ford manages to gather his strength and slowly makes his way out. Despite the terrible rope burns, he grabs the rope again and starts following it to its end.

The sun is too bright when he leaves the safety of the cabin and he squints, willing his eyes to adjust faster.

There’s a low groan in front of him which spurs Ford forward.

There’s Stan, alive, sitting up, and groaning.

“Stan,” Ford rasps. The words sends him into another coughing frenzy. Not again, not when he’s so close.

“Ford,” Stan says.

Ford tries to answer, but he can’t stop coughing.

“Ford.”

Stan sounds closer now and more urgent. Ford manages to calm his coughs into gentle wheezing with gasping breaths when he feels a familiar hand grasp his arm.

“I’m fine,” Ford manages to say. Luckily his coughing seems to have abated.

Stan grasps at him desperately and maneuvers so his rubbing Ford’s back

Finally Ford gets a good look at Stan.

He looks terrible. His whole body is hunched and one of his arms is dangling next to his side. There are deep bags under his eyes and his nose is crooked, there’s even blood on his face. He must have broken his nose. His hair is messy, but luckily that’s it.

Burned hair would have been a clear indicator that Stan had taken a lightning strike meant for him. He’ll have to do a more in depth examination later, but at least his biggest worry had been abated.

“You look like shit. Good thing I’m the good looking twin,” Stan says, a quirk to his lips. Trust him to be able to find humor in such a situation.

Ford finds himself chuckling anyway. “Well, you were never the smart one,” he answers.

“Heh, that’s for sure,” Stan says. “Come on, let’s go back in.”

Stan uses his good arm to help support Ford. He doesn’t protest this time, he’ll probably return the favor all too soon.

They somehow make their way into the bedroom where they shed their clothes and collapse into bed. They fall asleep immediately.

-000-

Ford wakes up feeling like a giant bruise.

Unfortunately it’s a familiar feeling and Ford manages to get up slowly, but easily. He fumbles around for his glasses and his hands meet something warm.

Stan.

Ford freezes.

Stan doesn’t move and instead continues to doze unperturbed. Ford gingerly removes himself from the bed.

Ford comes to the conclusion that they must have collapsed in Stan’s bed together. No wonder he can’t find his glasses. He finds them, cleans them, and puts them on.

Now he can see Stanley more clearly. His brother is turned away from him and he’s greeted with the sight of Stan’s back. Ford winces, Stan’s back is mottled purple and red from bruises. They make Stan’s burn stand out even brighter; silvery burned skin against dark bruises.

The sight makes Ford want to reach out and trace the lines of the burn.

Just lifting his hand out of the covers makes him shiver. He’s still undressed. First he tucks the blankets around Stan’s shoulder, then he grabs some clean clothes. There’s salt crusting on his skin, but he can take a shower later. Food and drink first, hygiene second.

Ford starts the kettle and looks into the fridge for something to heat up. There’s chili and cornbread in the fridge, one of Stan’s favorites.

Ford’s stomach rumbles at the thought of hot chili and warm cornbread. He starts heating them up when he hears a soft beeping noise.

Oh, its the communication device that Fiddleford made so that they could communicate at sea. The kids must have tried to call them. He checks the calendar and spots that they must have missed a call with them. Ford feels and probably looks like a giant bruise, but the kids would worry. Ford and Stan almost never missed a call. He finishes setting up the food and calls them back.

“Grunkle Ford,” Mabel whispers.

“Hi, Grunkle Ford,” Dipper says, just as softly.

“Hello, Mabel. Hello, Dipper.” How odd that they would be so subdued. They were normally quite rowdy.

“Are you okay? You’re calling pretty late,” Dipper asks.

“Yeah, you also look terrible, although I guess that could be the lighting,” Mabel says squinting at the camera.

The lights are off. Ford didn’t realize because he’s gotten used to gritty darkness and they do their best to save on electricity on the boat. Then he realizes how dark it is on the kids’ side. Oh, he must have called the kids in the middle of the night, his early morning. Well, they’re awake so it would be a waste not to talk.

“I just woke up,” Ford says in way of explanation. “Stan and I had a rather invigorating adventure.

“But we called yesterday, were you sleeping for a whole day?” Mabel asks, worry in her voice. Dipper now takes a moment to try and stare at him through the screen.

“I suppose we did sleep the day away,” Ford answers. He’ll have to check the clock to see if that’s true, but he’ll try to act nonchalant about it. “Anyways, why don’t you two give me a quick update and then it’s off to bed.”

Thankfully, they give him the benefit of the doubt and drop the subject. They chatter on about school, giving him updates and telling him that he and Stan should call Soos and Wendy. Ford manages to keep the conversations short and promises to call them again soon with Stan. Soon they’re ending the call with ‘I miss you’s.’

When the call ends, Ford sits back in his chair. The kettle starts to whistle but he doesn’t get up just yet.

“What are you making?”

Ford jumps. It’s Stan, he’s finally awake. Other than the bruises and the sleepiness he looks to be in good shape.

“Let me get that,” Ford says and offers Stan his seat. Surprisingly, Stan goes along with it and sits.

Ford quickly dishes the chili and cornbread, as well as some hot cocoa (another present from Mabel). They have a quiet meal together. Afterwards they do the dishes and go back to sleep.

This is their pattern for a few days: eating, resting, and sleeping. Ford does his best to give Stan some space to recover and use the time alone to think about ways to recover their relationship. He’s comfortable like this, but not satisfied.

Stan uses his time to, well, Ford’s not exactly sure. Maybe he’s using the time to talk to the kids and their friends? Ford found him staring at the calendar one day. He must have hated missing the kids’ call. Stan loves talking to them with or without Ford.

They continue like that, resting, making sure to recover until it all comes to a head.

-000-

“Ford!”

Ford jumps up from his bed and immediately whips his gun towards the door. Stan miraculously disarms him easily and puts the gun elsewhere. Then he shoves Ford’s glasses on his face.

“Look!”

Ford blinks a few times and rubs his eyes.

In front of him are some pancakes.They’re an alarming shape of orange although the pumpkin drawn on them is adorable. It smiles at him and Ford feels himself smile back.

“Thanks, Stan. I’ll eat these in the kitchen?” Ford makes a move to get up, but Stan presses him back into bed with surprising strength. Huh.

Stan hands him a glass of milk before throwing himself into the bed so he’s pressed up against Ford. Ford makes room for him as Stan grabs a pancake and starts to eat messily. He lounges and looks so at home that Ford can’t bring himself to complain about the lack of room and inevitable crumbs on his bed.

“It’s fine, stay in bed and eat,” Stan says around a mouthful of pancake. He grins and his teeth are now orange.

Ford snorts and tries not to think about the fact that he’s eating pancakes with his hands. They’re delicious of course and it turns out the drawing was in chocolate. “These are great, but what’s the occasion?” Ford asks.

“Occasion! What’s the occasion!” Stan looks at him like he’s crazy. “It’s October, Sixer! Best time of the year!”

Ford blinks and then finally remembers. Halloween used to be their holiday. Their favorite holiday. The candy, the decorations, the costumes, but more importantly, it celebrated the things that Ford loved best. Back when they were kids, they could enjoy everything supernatural the whole month and no one cared.

Ford didn’t think that Stan still did their old traditions. He was flattered and was actually very happy that Halloween was still so beloved to Stan. It also explains the about-face that Stan was pulling. Not even the awkwardness from over thirty years of being apart can stop Stan from loving something.

“We don’t have to celebrate the whole month. I mean, we’re on a boat, Stan,” Ford says, trying to give him an out. Just one day of Halloween fun was good enough for Ford. Trying for the whole month without them fighting was pushing it.

“Come on, Sixer! We’re finally having adventures on the Stan o’ War and you don’t want to celebrate Halloween?” Stan nudges him with a mischievous grin on his face. “Come on, action and adventure is great and all, but you can’t forget about celebrating the holidays.”

Ford takes a bite of the pancake to give himself some time, although Stan isn’t waiting on his answer. Stan seems content in relaxing and bed with Ford and getting crumbs everywhere, just like old times. The return to their past selves is what convinces Ford. He missed this.

“Okay, I’m convinced.” Not that Ford needed much convincing. “Let the month of Halloween begin.”

“Yes! Ha! I’ll go plot a route back to land so we can pick up supplies.” Stan stuffs a final pancake in his mouth and dashes out the door.

Ford stares after him and hears an alarming amount of noise that shouldn't be associated with navigation. However, he stays put and finishes his pancakes and his milk (the milk was the perfect accompaniment to the pancakes). Stan knows his way around the boat, he could plot a course just fine.

In the meantime, Ford would get dressed and check his gun. Then he would fix the door. It looks like his brother kicked it down.

He grins. It would be like old times.

-000-

Overnight, Stan livened up their boat with Halloween decorations. There are paper bats and pumpkins on the walls. Anything of theirs that is black and orange is in the forefront. They’ve received some cat shaped nick knacks from Mabel, which have been set out. He’s taken some of their extra netting to make spider webs and Ford spots a jack o’ lantern face on their sail.

Ford makes sure to point out each Halloween item and praises Stan for his creativity. Stan waves him away but is grinning from ear to ear.

It’s beyond what Ford and he has to admit, it cheers him up more than he thought was possible.

They spend hours discussing potential Halloween activities that they can do on a boat. They can do movies, tell ghost stories, do a test of courage, and looks for classic Halloween creatures. But Stan doesn't stop there, he says that it wouldn’t be Halloween without some of the classics so they're off to land to grab some costumes, pumpkins, and candy.

The talk well into the night about how to fit every Halloween related activity possible.

Even when they get into bed, they continue to talk. However, it’s not long before Stan falls asleep. Ford lets him, he had obviously been awake for a long time to put up all the decorations. Ford isn’t even sure Stan can be woken up when he’s sleeping like this: sprawled with his limbs everywhere, snoring away. Stan hasn’t slept like this recently.

Ford quietly gets up from his bed to tuck the blankets under Stan’s chin. Then he heads back to his own bed to get some sleep. It’s difficult, he’s excited about their plans, but eventually he too falls asleep.

-000-

The bad weather seems to follow them and they won’t be able to get back to land for a few days at least.

That doesn’t dampen Stan’s spirits. Instead he scrounges up some fruits and sugar to make ‘candied apples.’

In reality he takes whatever fruit he can find, a rather beaten up apple, some plums, an orange, and dips them in some melted sugar. Then he draws on them with chocolate, cute cartoony black cats and bats and ghosts.

The fruit falls apart at the first bite, and it’s a delicious mess. Stan gets it all over his face, although Ford can’t eat them without getting messy either. He ends up licking his fingers in between bites.

At one point, Stan points at one of the fruit in particular. “Check this one out, Ford.”

Ford looks, but doesn’t see anything unusual about the picture.

Then he feels something warm and wet press against his face.

“Stan!” Ford yelps. Did Stan just lick his face?

Stan waggles his eyebrows and his tongue at Ford. “You’re getting it all over yourself, Sixer.” Then he licks his fingers and goes to wipe Ford’s face again.

Ford bats his hand away.

“Hygiene, Stanley,” he snaps, embarrassed. Luckily, Stan takes no offense and snickers at him while Ford wipes his face. Ford balls up the towel he was using and throws is at Stan, hitting him in the face. “You need this more than me,” he quips.

Stan wipes his face and then tries to whip him with the towel. Ford dodges and uses the table to separate them.

Stan considers the table and then jumps right over it.

They tussle, using all of their wits to make the other concede without messing with the ship. Stan manages to get Ford in a headlock and gives him a gentle noogie. Ford could easily break out of it, but he doesn’t want to hurt Stan. Instead, he lets Stan ruffle his hair.

“Okay, I give,” Ford says with a laugh.

Stan laughs with him and lets him go.

They continue to snicker and laugh as Stan continues to make sweets. He makes more candied fruit that are bite sized and spins the remaining sugar into candies.

Along with the candy, Stan has panned a scary story night. They bundle up and create a makeshift tent against the cabin to block out the worst of the cold. They bring in hot drinks and the leftover candy to munch on. Stan grabs some candles to create the proper ‘atmosphere.’

Amused, Ford goes along with it. Between the light from the stars and the soft light from the candles the atmosphere is anything but spooky. In fact, it’s very comfortable and inviting inside their tent. A great way to enjoy their boat.

“Okay, okay, so I’ll start,” Stan says as soon as they settle. He brings a candle underneath him, trying to be scary, but all it does is cast a glow across his face while the stars illuminate his back.

“It was a normal night, dark and cold and wet, but to the people of a town called Glass Shard Beach, this was nothing new. They slept peacefully not knowing that in the ocean next to them something spooky was brewing…”

Ford settles in for the night as Stan tells the tale. He takes a sip of his drink, letting himself enjoy the story. It’s one he’s heard before, a Glass Shard classic, but it’s the first time he’s ever heard it in Stan’s gravelly tones.

Stan is a great storyteller, building the suspense with every word. Ford oohs and gasps at the right moment even though he knows what’s coming.

When Stan ends the story, Ford claps for him.

“You’re supposed to be scared out of your wits after a scary story, not clapping. I guess the story wasn’t that scary,” Stan says with a shrug. “Why don’t you tell one next?”

Ford makes a ‘hm’ noise and considers his options, “Well, there’s the Jersey Devil, Bigfoot, Mothman-”

“No, no. The Sea Creature story was just a warm-up,” Stan interrupts. “Why don’t you tell a really scary story.”

Falling silent, Ford racks his brain for an appropriate tale. There are a couple that he’s heard in college that would be sufficiently scary and unlikely for Stan to have encountered. But Ford doesn’t want to recycle old material. Stan’s story was fine because it was nostalgic and started the night on a fun note. Now Ford needed a highly original, quality tale.

“Alright,” Ford says aloud, choice in mind. “This is a tale from one of the many alternate universes I visited.”

“You mean…”

“That’s right. This one’s true.

Stan falls silent and frowns. Then he scoots closer so that they’re sitting next to each other, instead of across. Ford moves so that they’re comfortably pressed up against each other. The contact makes it easier for Ford to speak.

“In a far away galaxy…” Ford starts.

Stan gently nudges Ford for that start. Ford grins and continues, the words coming out even easier.

“In a galaxy far far away, I found myself stranded on a terrible planet. Bill’s minions and bounty hunters had chased me through many galaxies and universes, but I managed to lose them. I soon found out why, the surface was uninhabitable to many creatures but below its surface were caverns stretching miles.

“Civilizations and cities all lived in these caves, but the systems stretched for miles further than the people could ever touch. They spanned an impossible distance and these labyrinths were too dangerous to explore.

“My hosts had…”

Ford falters for a moment. The leaders of the city he had been living with had threatened to turn in the bounty. He had felt like he had no choice but to go along with their request. It left a sour taste in his mouth at the thought. Maybe that was a detail he could forgo.

“...pleaded to me to become their champion. And from that day it was decided that I would be the one to conquer the labyrinths.

“The caves were enormous and each turn was deadlier than the next. I encountered every form of wildlife and plantlife that the planet had to offer. I solved puzzles and mazes, seeing places that have never been seen by civilized eyes. I encountered things that would be considered anomalies on that planet and with my wits managed to beat each one.”

Ford continues describing each encounter. In the beginning he had been optimistic, not realizing the scope of his task. Then when he had journeyed further than anyone had every went before did he realize the monumental task that had been in front of him.

He had almost lost hope and perhaps the desperation of his encounters had been made obvious, because Stan slings an arm over his shoulder. Stan stays silent, allowing Ford to continue without interruption.

The touch bolsters him and Ford is able to continue through his bleak experience. It’s almost easy talking about the planet. He’s not there anymore. He’s not in an underground cave, he’s clearly with Stan in the Stan o War, enjoying the stars, the furthest he could be from that experience.

Finally Ford manages to finish this story.

“After the explosion I had discovered a wonderful resource for the people of that city: a sustainable food source and water. They hailed me as a hero and I left that dimension afterwards,” Ford says.

It had been a lucky and favorable outcome for all. In reality he had tried creating a controlled explosion to facilitate his escape, but had discovered the resources instead. The city people had thanked him with supplies that he could fashion into a dimension travel device. He had left before the leaders could use him again.

It was in the past now.

He looks at Stan who’s looking at him sadly.

“I suppose that wasn’t a very scary story, was it,” Ford says. He mentally curses for ruining scary story night. He should have gone with a college horror story, not trauma from his days in the multiverse.

Stan shrugs and Ford can feel the movement because they’re so close to each other.

“Nah, you were fine,” Stan says. “Sounded lonely, though.”

Ford doesn’t reply.

“How about another story then?” Stan says before launching into another tale. He presses some candy into Ford’s hands and Ford munches on them as he listens to Stan tell the tale.

It’s another classic for them, one of Ford’s favorites. Ford lets himself enjoy the telling the human contact, and the sweets. When Stan reaches the end, Ford realizes it’s not the normal ending, but the alternate one they had written together as children to ensure the monster in the story had a happy ending.

They continue to trade stories and eat candy well into the night.

-000-

Eventually, they get to land. Thank goodness, between the long trip and the sweets they’ve been eating, Ford is surprised they hadn’t developed scurvy. Although he’s enjoying the October treats, he can’t wait to have some fresh fruit and vegetables on the ship.

They make a beeline to a local market and manage to purchase their supplies. In addition to their usual things, Stan picks out a selection of local candies and sugar. (Why were there so many types of sugar?) Ford almost groans, but doesn’t want to burst his brother’s bubble.

They’re doing one last trip when Stan stops at a local produce stand. He points at some gourds and attempts to talk to the shopkeeper about them. Ford rifles through his pockets, missing his trans-dimensional translator, but Stan manages to get through a conversation.

Surprisingly, he leaves empty handed.

“Do you need help translating?” Ford asks.

“Did you see how small those things were? Those aren’t proper jack o’ lantern sizes,” Stan says with a shake of his head. Then he starts heading deeper inland. Ford follows him, curious.

Ford looks back and guesses that they’re only about the size of a fist. “Maybe their harvest wasn’t very successful this year.”

“Nah, it turns out that the shopkeeper grew those themself. The ones in the town fields are bigger. Bigger than my head,” Stan gestures.

Ford raises an eyebrow. Gourds that grew larger than human heads? He supposes that if they were related to pumpkins, then they could grow that large.

“But, he said there’s some local superstition that no one can pick them until they receive some okay from their harvest bigwig,” Stan says.

“Interesting. Maybe they aren’t ripe yet,” Ford offers as way of explanation. The other gourds were awfully small.

“Maybe,” Stan says.

They walk out of the populated areas of the market and into the more rural areas of the town.

“We’re going to steal some gourds, aren’t we.”

“Yup. It’s not Halloween without pumpkins and jack o’ lanterns.”

-000-

Hours later they find themselves hiding face down in the mud. A chill sweeps the air making all the hairs stand up on their bodies, but soon the sensation passes. When the coast is clear they peek out from their hiding place.

Ford smacks Stan and hisses, “Stan, when you said that we needed permission from a bigwig, I thought you meant a human! Not- not a blessing from a harvest deity!”

“Shh, not so loud,” Stan says, pulling him down.

Ford shivers as another chill permeates the air.

It leaves again, but it’ll be back.

“We have to run for the ship,” Stan says. “Here take this.”

Out of the mud, Stan pulls out two gourds as big as his head.

“Where were you hiding those?” Ford says, incredulous.

“Doesn’t matter, let’s go,” Stan says ushering them to their feet.

Ford follows Stan’s lead as the man sneaks through the farm and back towards the boat. At one point he starts to sprint and all Ford can do is follow after him.

When there a ways away Stan starts to cackle madly, raising his prize above his head. He looks like a loon and Ford can’t help but chuckle.

“I am the pumpKING!” He yells.

“They’re gourds, Stan,” Ford says, laughing.

“Ha! Then you can be Ford Gourd,” his brother quips back.

Ford groans. “That's terrible.”

A gust of wind presses against their back, followed by a low hiss.

“Shall we..?”

“Yeah, lets book it.”

They save their teasing. Only after they’ve gotten to the boat, taken off, and are unable to see the shore do they laugh. Stan makes sure to scrub them clean before they go to sleep.

-000-

The next day they carve the pumpkins (gourds).

Ford carves out his symbol in his gourd. No need to do anything unnecessary. Stan carves a surprisingly accurate rendition of the Harvest Bigwig (Stan’s name, not his).

It’s a little too realistic. Once they put a light in its the center they back away from it.

“I’m getting pulled into the gravity of its stare,” Ford says. He is unable to look away.

“Yeesh,” Stan quickly takes the light out.

“Maybe we should just eat that one,” Ford suggests, covering it with a towel.

Stan taps at his chin. Then he takes the towel off. “Let me make some changes.”

He grabs the carving knife and gives the ghost some large eyebrows and a wig. Then he draws a gourd into it’s hand. It’s eyes are still soulless abominations, but now they can laugh it off. Stan looks so proud that Ford doesn’t dare suggest they trash it. They set their pumpkins outside. Hopefully Stan’s will get picked off by a bird.

The seeds they toast and the rest of the gourd Stan makes into pancakes and stew.

They spend the rest of their October days fitting in as many Halloween activities as possible in between adventures. There’s food, a lot of their staples made Halloween themed (Ford’s never smiled at oatmeal before, but somehow Stan made it monster themed). There’s games, most of them low tech, food scraps made into fake people parts, a rather destructive game of pin the tail on the lizardman, and a few short games of D, D, and more D.

And they tell each other more stories.

There are scary stories they’ve heard when they’ve been away from each other, some classics, and ones that they made up themselves.

But sometimes they break out the tent just to talk.

They find themselves talking more often. They talk over meals, when they’re manning the boat, and when they’re in bed trying to sleep. Somehow Stan manages to put their beds together (Ford thought they were mounted to the floor) and they continue to talk until they fall asleep.

He’s always had trouble sleeping (something that’s only gotten worse as the years have gone by), from nightmares disturbing his dreams, to an aching paranoia that keeps him awake at night, but lately it’s gotten better. They talk until they tire and even if Ford wakes up from troubled dreams, watching Stan sleep typically pulls him to sleep.

Finally they decide for Halloween they should find land and maybe join in the festivities. Ford has his reservations, he doesn’t know if they’ll get to land, and he doesn’t think they’re near anyplace that celebrates Halloween like they want to, but Stan says it’s an opportunity to share the holiday. If nothing else, they can dress up, project a movie on the sail, and eat more candy.

Over dinner they’re still talking about their plans, when Ford notices that they’re receiving a call from Dipper and Mabel. He glances at their calendar and notes that this is a scheduled call. Time flew by fast. Normally Stan would be raring to talk to them, but they had been rather busy with Halloween plans.

Ford flips open their communication device and connects with them.

“Grunkle Ford! Grunkle Ford!”

His niblings clamor for his attention and it makes him smile.

“Kids!” He exclaims, returning the favor.

“It’s been way too long!” Mabel yells. “ Ooo, are those Halloween decorations?”

“Anomalies and anatomically correct bats, nice Grunkle Ford,” Dipper says.

Ford chuckles, pleased that the kids noticed. It’s nice that their effort get to be seen by others. He should call Fiddleford and the Mystery Shack as well.

“There are more decorations around the boat,” Ford says.

“Oh! Show us!” Mabel says, Dipper nodding along with her.

Ford carries the device, showing them around the boat. He points out the various decorations while the kids ‘ooo’ and ‘ahh.’ He shows them their tent set-up and promises to send them a picture when the stars are out. He points out their gourds and they immediately ask how they got them.

“Let me get, Stan. He started to the whole thing, he should help tell the story,” Ford says and goes back inside.

“Stan, the kids want to hear about how we got the gourds,” Ford says.

“Sure, you know I’m the better storyteller,” Stan says, putting down what he was working on. “Now who’s my audience for today?”

Stan gives Dipper and Mabel a grin.

Ford frowns.

Dipper and Mabel look nervously at each other.

Eventually, Mabel awkwardly laughs and says, “It’s us, Grunkle Stan. Your favorite niece and nephew.”

Stan looks at them confused. “Niece? Nephew?”

Ford almost drops the device.

Mabel is starting to look upset, when Dipper grabs her hand. “Oh Grunkle Stan, I guess you tell every kid that they’re your favorite, huh?” Dipper says, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. He’s doing well, except for the fact that he’s sweating profusely. “We stayed in Gravity Falls last summer, don’t you remember?”

“Oh! The place where Ford and I lived for awhile. I met you kids there?” Stan asks, brightening at the explanation.

Mabel squeezes her brother’s hand. Dipper laughs, clearly pained. “Yeah, we met at the Mystery Shack.”

“Well, sorry I don’t remember kids, but maybe the story of the PumpKing and Ford Gourd will make up for it,” Stan says. He settles in to tell the story. The kids do their part as the audience and listen intently to him. Luckily Mabel and more importantly Dipper are good enough to keep Stan’s attention, because Ford is speechless.

How does Stan not remember the kids!

Ford has no answers or theories even when Stan is finished with the story. The kids clap for him and thank him. Dipper and Mabel tell them to have a good Halloween and to take care of themselves. Dipper says that they shouldn’t be strangers and call more often. They pointedly look at Ford, as Stan amicably agrees.

When they disconnect, Stan turns to him. “Nice kids. We built a pretty good life in Gravity Falls, didn’t we?”

He isn’t prepared to lie, isn’t prepared to deal with this situation. The kids helped him last time in Gravity Falls, how is he supposed to do this again by himself?

“Yes, you built a great life there, Stan. You don’t remember Dipper and Mabel?” Ford asks.  

Stan’s brows furrow. “No, they seem familiar. I feel terrible for not remembering them. They looked really happy see us.”

“Well, I’m sure they enjoyed the story,” Ford says. “Speaking of stories, how about we forgo tonight’s, I could use the extra rest.”

Stan doesn’t even question the change in topic. “Sure, Ford. Maybe we have been staying up too late lately. We gotta be fresh for Halloween.”

They do their nightly routine and get in bed. Luckily, Stan quickly drifts off to sleep. When Ford is sure that he won’t wake him, he sneaks out of bed and back to the communicator. He sends a call out to the kids. They immediately pick up.

“Grunkle Ford, is everything okay?” Dipper asks.

“What’s wrong with Grunkle Stan?” Mabel asks.

“I don’t know,” Ford admits.

“This calls for an emergency all-call,” Mabel says and slams her hand on the device. The communication device unfolds to reveal two additional screens.

One screen blinks on to reveal a sleepy Fiddleford and worried looking Tate. “This is the first time anyone’s used the emergency function, what’s wrong?”

The other screen turns off to reveal Soos in his pajamas with Melody just waking up in bed next to him. “Dudes! The communicator started freaking out, what happened?”

“Guys, this is an emergency,” Dipper says. The others listen intently to him. “Stan has amnesia again.”

They gasp.

“I’ll call Wendy,” Melody says, disappearing off the screen.

“Stanford, I thought Stan regained all his memories back in Gravity Falls,” Fiddleford says.

“He did,” Ford answers. “I’m sure he did.”

“You guys didn’t accidentally get hit by another memory gun, did you?” Soos asks.

“No, and I don’t understand how this could have happened. He’s been perfectly coherent this whole time. This is the first incident that’s even suggested that he’s had memory issues,” Ford says desperately.

“What about any injuries?” Tate asks.

“Injuries?” Ford echoes.

“Head trauma, full body blows, anything like that,” he elaborates.

Ford stands up, “I’ll be right back.”

He hurries back to the bedroom and quietly sneaks over to Stan. Luckily, Stan is sleeping on his back. Ford grabs a maglite and shines it against his back.

Stan’s back is still covered in healing bruises from the incident in the storm. They’re no longer as young as they used to be, healing takes longer for them now. Ford starts to examine Stan’s cranium. Almost immediately he sees a bruise.

Ford jerks back. Then he forces himself to take a closer look. The bruise looks to be healing at the same rate as the ones on his back. He must have received it the same night and didn’t tell him.

Ford’s hand is shaking when he turns his light off and goes back to the communicator.

He takes a seat, the others awaiting his answer. Wendy seems to have joined them and is sitting with Soos and Melody in front of the communicator.

“I’ve just confirmed that Stan did receive a head injury recently,” Ford says.

The others start to murmur amongst themselves.

“Think back, Stanford. Has this been the first sign that Stanley has been having memory problems? What about after the injury?” Fiddleford asks.

“Did he have any changes in his behavior?” Tate offers.

Ford shakes his head at the questions, really nothing had felt different. In fact after the accident Stan had become more like his old self-

Oh.

“Actually, yes. Yes he has,” Ford agrees. “He’s changed back to how he used to be when we were children.”

“You mean he’s a kid again?” Soos asks.

“No, no, he hasn’t lost any knowledge, but he certainly has changed,” Ford says.

“How long has he been like this, Stanford?” Tate asks.

“..Weeks,” Ford admits.

The others gasp.

“How long did it take for him to remember last time?” Melody asks.

“Only a few hours!” Mabel exclaims. “He remembered us in no time!”

“But wait, he remembers you Mister Pines?” Soos brings up.

“I- yes, he does,” Ford says. It’s true. Unlike the last time, Stan remembers him.

“Maybe,” Dipper starts, a serious look of contemplation on his face, “-maybe, Stan just needs exposure to all of us to start remembering?”

It’s not a terrible idea. After all, Ford was with Stan the whole time. Maybe he does need time and exposure to remember everything.

“We can show him around the Mystery Shack,” Soos says.

“Yeah! I can show my scrapbooks, that did the trick last time,” Mabel says, finally smiling for the first time for this whole conversation.

“I could probably find the doodad’s that Stan’s seen last summer,” Fiddleford offers.

“Sounds like a plan, people. Give me a heads up when I should be there,” Wendy says.

The others agree and start to leave when Dipper stops them.

“Wait. Just to make sure we don’t confuse Stan, let’s say we’re all friends with Mr.McGucket. That way it isn’t too weird that Grunkle Ford knows all of us, but Grunkle Stan doesn’t,” Dipper says.

“But,” Mabel isn’t smiling anymore, “Isn’t that kind of, you know…”

“I know, Mabel,” Dipper says with a sigh. “I just think it’s easier if Grunkle Stan doesn’t know that anything’s wrong. It’ll be easier.”

Mabel sighs too. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay. Grunkle Ford, let us know when we should all talk again,” Dipper says.

“I will, Dipper,” Ford answers.

Then, one by one, the screens go blank. The communicator folds in on itself and Ford is left alone in the dark.

He sits back in his chair.

He puts his hands over his face and slowly bends over himself. His head gently hits the table in front of him. He takes a shuddery breath and holds it in. He can’t wake up Stan, not now. He curls in and stays absolutely still and silent.

Ford hopes this will work. He doesn't know how he’ll face Dipper and Mabel otherwise. The look on their faces when Stan didn’t realize who they were, it was terrible.

Stan has to remember them.

Ford just hopes that he doesn’t have to give up what they have now after Stan remembers.

-000-

Stan and Ford go on an adventure.

They discover an island that shouldn’t exist in the middle of the ocean. And of course Ford gets swept up in the adventure. There are no anomalies like the ones in Gravity Falls, but the island itself is quite interesting-

And Ford gets swept up in the excitement with Stan right there by his side.

Ford forgets about the phone call. It was really a suggested time, he hadn’t finalized it with Dipper. The date of the call gets pushed back further and they get closer and closer to Halloween. They’re unable to go back to land, the last adventure threw them off their schedule, so they’ll just have a nice Halloween together.

-000-

“Happy Halloween, Sixer!”

Ford jumps and goes to grab his gun, but Stan stops him in time.

“Come on, Ford, it’s just me,” Stan says.

Recognizing Stan’s voice, Ford relaxes. He cracks open his eyes, but somehow it’s too bright. Strange, there shouldn’t be any light. He tries to open his eyes again and is greeted with Stan wearing the most obnoxious orange pumpkin sweaters he’s ever seen.

“I know we said we were going to wear costumes, or something ‘culturally relevant to the area,’ but since we didn’t make it to land, I thought we could at least be in the Halloween spirit,” Stan says. “I noticed you had one too. Come on, we can wear them together.”

Ford looks down at the sweater Stan picked out. It’s a perfectly serviceable orange, an earth tone, not the close to neon monstrosity that Stan is wearing.

“Breakfast is waiting, come on,” Stan says before heading out of the room.

When he turns around, there’s a jack o’ lantern on the back with familiar stitching.

Ford blinks and slowly rubs his face. He remembers now, the sweater had been a gift from Mabel. Ford doesn't know what to do with the information that Stan will still wear a handknit sweater from his grand niece despite it’s questionable color. Instead of continuing that thought, he gets dressed and ready for breakfast.

It’s chili for breakfast. Not bad for the supplies they have in the boat.

“I made your favorite,” Stan says in way of greeting.

Ford blinks and wonders if he heard Stan wrong. Chili is supposed to be Stan’s favorite.

“I figured since we have so many ingredients for it, chili must be your favorite. You can just tell me, you know,” Stan says before starting to eat.

Ford eats at a slower pace.

Their Halloween is rather relaxed, a good ending to the month. They end up watching movies on the sail and eating tons of candy. At the end of the night they clean up and fall asleep next to each other.

Ford’s last thought is to wonder if Stan will start remembering everything after Halloween.

-000-

Ford is the first to wake up in the morning.

He immediately tucks Stan in. Ford sighs. Now that he knows what he’s looking for he can see why this version of Stan sleeps so haphazardly. The man doesn’t remember his hardships or the terrible things he’s done to survive. He’s not childish, but he knows the world like he did as a child, filled with opportunity and adventure.

Is it so terrible for Ford to want Stan to stay like this, unburdened by their past?

However it’s after Halloween now. They’re in November, maybe when Stan wakes up he’ll remember.

Ford gets up and starts some hot water. Then he carefully pulls down their decorations, putting things back in their place, and carefully setting aside the home-made ones. They can save them for next year or maybe for Summerween.

He’s almost done taking everything down when Stan walks into the kitchen.

“Oh, let me grab some of those,” he says with a smile on his face.

Ford can immediately tell that Stan doesn’t remember. His smile was too carefree and not grumpy enough.

Although it is surprising how Stan doesn’t look up that they’re taking down the decorations.

“Too bad, October is over,” Ford says, feeling him out.

Stan chuckles. “It was fun while it lasted. But come on Ford, we’re living the dream: having adventures together on the Stan o’ War. Sure Halloween is great, but we’re having fun everyday. We don’t have to wait a whole year for Halloween to come around, we can look forward to the next adventure.”

Ford stares. Stan may never remember the kids if he never leaves this boat.

Stan notices the staring, “Oh yeah, this sweater?”

Ford looks down and sees another sweater that Mabel had knitted for Stan.

“I found it with the Halloween one. Stitchings a little messy, but it’s pretty comfy. I don’t know why I don’t wear clothes from that drawer more often,” Stan says as a he takes a mug out of the cabinet. It says ‘Grumpy Old Man’ on it. It had been a gag gift from Dipper, but it was Stan’s favorite mug. Or at least it used to be.

They continue with their day like this; Ford realizing how many items they have from their family. There’s a device from Fiddleford. Some fishing gear from Tate. Some furniture and nick knacks from Soos and Melody. A hat from Wendy.

And Stan doesn’t recognize who they’re from. He just instinctively knows that they’re his favorite, the best to use, but doesn’t remember where they came from.

For lunch, Stan serves him a pumpkin and vegetable soup made from the Halloween gourds. The soup is a recipe from the twins and the plates are stolen from the Mystery Shack.

Finally Ford decides that he can’t live like this, tip-toeing around Stan, wondering what he can bring up and what he can’t bring up. Ford can’t live with a Stan that’s forgotten the people he loves and made a family with.

“Hey, Stan? You know those kids we talked to a week back?” Ford asks.

“Yeah?”

“They were wondering if you had any more stories for them.”

-000-

The first call they arrange with the kids turns into a series of ‘coincidences’ that allow for everybody from their emergency call to be on the communicator. They go along with their storyline, saying that they’re friends of Fiddleford’s.

Stan is absolutely charming and sweet. He grins and laughs easily and does his best to entertain the callers.

They arrange call after call, even with some impromptu members from Gravity Falls pitching in to say hello.

Stan doesn’t remember any of them.

Ford sneaks away at night to have an emergency all-call with the group again.

“So that didn’t work,” Dipper says, scratching his head.

“I don’t understand! We did the scrapbooks, the Mystery Shack, Waddles, almost everything! He didn’t remember. You could even tell Stan was being polite when we expected him to know things, that’s not Grunkle Stan!” Mabel exclaims.

The others look worried.

“Isn’t this how Mr.Pines normally acts?” Melody asks. They all look at her. “I mean, I only met the man once, but from your stories this seems like him. A little inappropriate, but a pretty fun Grunkle.”

“Psh, the real Stan would never make a good first impression,” Wendy says.

The others murmur their agreement.

“But maybe it’s okay that Stan doesn’t get his memories back,” Wendy continues.

“What!” The twins say.

“Maybe that would be for the best,” Tate adds in. Fiddleford looks at his son bewildered.

“Now I’m not saying that Stan shouldn’t remember, or that we won’t try to help him remember, but this isn’t like with Dad,” Tate says, squeezing Fiddleford’s shoulder. “Or maybe it’s exactly like with Dad. Stan forgot everything about his past, especially what hurt him. But he might eventually remember the good parts.”

“Like I did,” Fiddleford ends.

Tate nods.

“There was a point where I forgot Tate,” Fiddleford elaborates, looking guilty.

“You remembered eventually, Dad.” Tate says.

“But, but, Stans not even with us. Dipper and I are in California, the rest of us are in Gravity Falls, and Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan are all the way across the world! Are we supposed to wait til next summer for him to remember?” Mabel asks.

No one answers.

Ford should be reassuring her. Saying that even if Stan doesn’t remember, that he still loves them all. It’s easy to see; from the way he loves all of their gifts, to the fact that he always smiles when they call.

At the same time, he thinks: what if Stan doesn’t want to go back to Gravity Falls?

“He’ll remember eventually, Mabel,” Dipper reassures.

“That’s right, Mabel. One lousy injury isn’t going to stop Stan,” Soos reassures. “This is the man that punched a pterodactyl!”

Waddles oinks next to her adding in his two cents.

Mabel pets him. “Yeah, Grunkle Stan won’t forget about us.”

“So you have to keep on calling him, Mabel,” Wendy says. “Stan would never want to miss your middle school adventures.”

“We’ll keep calling,” Dipper says and Mabel nods.

“So will we,” Fiddleford adds. “It’s late, you kids should get to bed.”

The ‘kids’ groan, but say their goodbyes. The screen from the Mystery Shack and the twins blink off. The one from the mansion stays on. Tate walks away, leaving the screen.

“Hey, Stanford, how are you holding up?” Fiddleford asks.

Ford shakes his head.

“What’s wrong, Ford?”

“That’s the conundrum, Fiddleford. Nothing's wrong for me,” Ford admits.

“How so?”

“Well- life’s great! I mean, you know the last time we conversed? You had asked me what I wanted to change? I got everything I wanted: Stan relies on me, he takes better care of himself and me, we talk about everything!”

“Even the portal?” Fiddleford asks.

It’s a sore spot between them. While Ford feels like he could talk to Fiddleford about everything, he knows they can’t talk about certain subjects.

“Even the portal,” Ford says.

Fiddleford stays silent and Ford waits for him to give him an answer to his problems. Their last conversation was eye opening. And Ford is hoping that Fiddleford can lay some of his guilt to rest.

“That’s great, Ford. I’m glad you found someone to talk to,” Fiddleford says. He sounds and look sincere.

“And?”

“And what, Stanford?”

“What about this situation?”

Fiddleford pauses, he looks to be in deep thought.

“Listen,” Fiddleford start with, “I think you may have to consider the possibility that Stan might not regain his memories.”

“What-“

“I know that I regained them and that Stan regained them, but you have to remember we’re outliers. I had a video of myself to confront my missing memories. But no one else remembers what they’ve lost,” Fiddleford explains.

It was true.

There had been some experiments, but to their knowledge no one could regain their memories after the memory gun had taken them away. On occasion, bringing up the old memories would bring- distress to the person.

“However, that doesn’t mean that Stan won’t regain them after time,” Fiddleford adds.

That was true as well. Stan was such an outlier in regards to what was normal. The first time around, Stan had been so patient and understanding despite being bombarded with information about from his old life. Then he had actually regained them all with no issues, until now.

“So keep that in mind when dealing with him,” Fiddleford says with an air of finality.

“You’re speaking in circles, Fiddleford. I have to treat Stan like he won’t regain his memories, but he might regain them anyway,” Ford says, parsing out the words.

“That’s right,” Fiddleford agrees.

Ford taps his chin.

“That’s a paradox,” Ford says.

“Sure sounds like one,” Fiddleford says.

“Fiddleford, you were the one to present me this paradox.”

“I suppose I put the paradox into words, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t exist beforehand.”

“Right,” Ford grumbles. Another eye-opener.

Fiddleford sighs. “Look Ford, just use that big brain of yours. This situation is bad and you have to be careful. Why, you don’t even know if another injury may cause more memory issues!”

“I- I hadn’t yet considered that possibility.”

What would happen if Stan regressed completely?

What would happen if he regressed when they were at sea? Or on an uninhabited island? What if Stan were alone?

“I’ll talk to you later, Stanford,” Fiddleford says.

Ford waves him off and the screen goes blank. The man had probably seen this coming. Ford had been so happy with his situation that he hadn’t even thought of the consequences.

He considers his options.

Stan would have to remember. Even if it meant giving this up, Ford couldn’t risk Stan getting worse. And he couldn’t bear seeing the kids’ face look so disappointed every single call.

But how could Ford make Stan remember?

He could always go into the Mindscape. That might be the best way to diagnose the problem and see what other issues may crop up.

But it was also exceptionally dangerous if the Mindscape was deteriorating. It was also a procedure that he wouldn’t want to attempt alone. Perhaps he would save that for last or whenever they would go back to Gravity Falls.

Ford considers other options both supernatural and not. In the end he would go with the tried and true method, talking things out.

While the others had shown off every memory inducing item they had, Ford had not. He had held back in the hopes that the others would be the ones to induce the memories. After all, the memories that Stan didn’t remember that they shared were-

They were memories that Ford didn’t want Stan to remember.

-000-

Ford doesn’t go to sleep that night and ends up sleeping through the day. When he wakes up, it’s completely dark out. However the room is warm and Ford has been undressed. He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

He gets dressed and goes out to the kitchen where Stan is reading.

A werewolf looks out of the cover, distinctly lacking a shirt and his gaze smoldering.

Ah. This must have been a gift from Grenda and Candy. He had been told that everybody had sent a care package to them, but hadn’t realized that everybody had sent them something.

Stan looks up from his book when he realizes Ford is in the room. He closes the book, but doesn’t look ashamed. In fact, he looks a little tired. Had Stan been waiting for him?

“There’s more gourd stew, if you want some,” Stan says.

There’s just enough stew for one, with steam coming from the top.

“Thank you,” Ford says.

He dishes it up and sits across from Stan to eat it.

Stan picks up his book and continues to read. Ford watches him out of the corner of his eyes, but Stan looks rather engrossed.

When he finishes, he puts the dishes away.

He’s ready to tell Stan to go to sleep when Stan places a hand on his shoulder.

“Can you sit, Ford?”

Ford freezes and nods. He doesn’t think he can speak. He can’t lead this conversation, but he can answer any questions that Stan has.

They sit next to each other this time. Stan’s knee gently presses against his. It’s not reassuring, he can it trapping him there and the expectations welling up. Stan looks down at the table with a frown and Ford wonders what he knows.

Maybe he found the journals? They were right there on the shelf for anyone to read. The earlier journals weren’t very flattering, nor did they paint a very happy life with his twin. Hell, they were next to the romance novels.

“I know why you didn’t bring it up,” Stan says.

Ford tenses.

“I mean with me having amnesia-“

“You remember?” Ford blurts out. Since when?

“Well, no.”

Ford deflates.

“I- the me that remembers everything left me a note in case this happened,” Stan explains flippantly. Ford perks up and wonders what Stan wrote. “I only found it recently, and he didn’t leave me much. Just said that I should trust my family,” Stan says with a shrug.

Ford sits back. He had never considered that Stan would leave himself a failsafe in case of amnesia.

“You have questions for me then,” Ford says. The man must have questions. Stan finally knows that he’s missing information.

Stan starts with: “I know that I don’t remember all those people I’ve been telling stories too.”

Ford nods and lets out a mental sigh. At least he didn’t have to explain that point.

“I know that I’ve forgotten about this Gravity Falls place.”

Ford nods again. Stan had forgotten a huge swath about his past.

“And I know that I’ve forgotten somethings about us,” Stan concludes. He scratches his head.

“That’s right,” Ford confirms.

Stan takes a deep breath and lets out a cough.

“Tell me if I’ve gotten this part wrong.”

Ford waits for the accusations and the questions.

Instead, he feels Stan gently grab a hold of his hand. He stares at the hand, puzzled and looks back up at Stan who isn’t looking at him. He looks like he’s desperately trying to be casual. The knee that was pressed against him nudges him gently, but Ford doesn’t pull away.

Stan finally looks at Ford. His face for once is serious and without his usual grin. The intensity of his gaze is almost overwhelming, but Ford can’t look away.

Without breaking eye contact, Stan brings Ford hand up and brushes a kiss against his knuckles.

Ford’s mouth falls open.

“Did I get this wrong, Sixer?” Stan murmurs against his skin.

Ford licks his lips, but can’t speak.

Ford shakes his head, then stops, realizing the message that he’s sending.

Stan’s eyes light up.

Then he realizes exactly what answer he wants to be right.

“You’re not wrong,” Ford chokes out.

Stan grins at him and squeezes his hand. He chuckles, looking away.

“We’re okay?” Stan asks.

“Yes, Stan.” The lies fall easily from Ford’s lips.  “Everything’s okay now.”

-000-

Nothing changes, at least, not in the way that Ford expected things to change.

They have the same routine do the same things, but every gesture has meaning now. Every look is charged. And there’s a tension- no, tension isn’t the right word, there’s frisson between them. It makes Ford’s heart pound and his hands a little sweaty to be honest.

They have a few more adventures together and those are exciting.

But now Ford is aware of everytime they hold hands or touch, even if they’re in life or death situations.

And now he can see the ways that Stan is taking care of him after their adventures are over.

There are these tiny little things he catches now. He thinks about them, mulls over them, replays them in his mind, and turns them over and over in his mind. His thoughts are filled with these nuances that he’s never caught before.

Ford would keep muddling through life like this if it wasn’t for a call from the others.

“Hey everybody!”

“Grunkle Stan!”

“Mr.Pines!”

“Stanley?”

“I’m sorry,” Stan says and all their faces fall. “I don’t remember, but I figured out I have amnesia.”

“Well, at least you know now,” Dipper says.

And the others mumbled their agreement.

“Thanks, everyone. Now do you guys want to hear about our latest adventure?”

“That sounds delightful, Stan” Fiddleford says while fixing a look at Ford.

Well, perhaps Ford would have continued to muddle his way through this situation, not changing a thing, but Fiddleford was giving him a look. It promised disappointment from Fiddleford and a thorough talk that would break down any of Ford’s logical arguments.

He would have to try talking to Stan again.

-000-

After a few more adventures, Ford finally puts everything in motion. Stan is taking a shower and will be occupied long enough for Ford to set up everything. He gets his journals and some props and waits for Stan to finish.

Stan comes out, still drying his hair. Ford is just about to help him, most heat escapes from the head after all- but he manages to hold himself back in time.

“What’s all this?” Stan asks, rummaging around the fridge.

“Stan, we need to talk,” Ford says.

He immediately winces after he says this.

“Sure, what’s up?” Stan makes some coffee for himself, while humming, then comes over to the table.

“I need to tell you something, Stan, something you’ve forgotten,” Ford starts, but is interrupted by some cookies shoved under his nose.

“Your favorite,” Stan offers.

They are his favorite, so Ford instinctively takes one, “Thank you, now as I was saying, there are some things I feel that I should tell you.”

“Sure, just let me fix up some coffee for you,” and Stan goes to freshen up his coffee, just the way Ford likes it.

Stan knows him so well- Ford shook his head. He needed to talk to Stan.

He takes a sip of his coffee, which is perfect, so Ford drains half the mug in one go. The gesture seems to reassure Stan, who finally takes a seat. The man looks at him, a bit disinterested, probably expecting a nerd rant, but totally trusting him.

Holding a journal up, Ford asked: “Do you remember these, Stan?”

Stan looks at it curious and Ford offers him the book. Stan flips through the pages, but shakes his head.

“Not really. I mean it’s one of your diaries-“

“Journals.”

“-One of your journals. You write about our adventures in them,” Stan says without guile.

“Then what about this?” Ford held up a picture of the perpetual motion machine. It’s a perfect rendition. Even now he could remember every single screw and plate.

Stan shrugged. “Am I supposed to?”

“How about these?” Ford gives him a bag of toffee peanuts.

Stan’s face lights up. “Oh hey! You were holding out on me, Ford. I didn’t think we had any more candy left from Halloween.”

“No, that’s not- here,” Ford hands him the bag and Stan digs in. Ford looks over at the rest of his things and Stan lets him, electing to pay attention to his snack instead. He was hoping that Stan would just remember, that he wouldn’t have to say anything specific.

But here Stan was, gobbling toffee peanuts and flipping through Journal 1 like it was nothing. His brother chuckles at one of the entries.

Ford drinks his coffee trying to regroup his thoughts.

Stan flips to the diagram of the portal.

He frowns at the picture and stares.

Ford swallows. It wasn’t the first thing he would’ve liked to discuss with Stan, but if it was the first thing that he remembered then…

Ford flipped Journals 2 and 3 to the portal diagram. He gently grabs the first journal and sets them up.

Stan snaps his fingers and points at the diagram. “Hey…”

The bag of toffee peanuts, now empty, slips out of his hand to rest next to the diagram of Ford’s former science project.

Stan’s wide eyed, looking between the picture of the portal and the science project.

While Stan is staring, Ford finishes a sketch. “What about this?” Ford softly asks.

It’s a picture of Bill Cipher.

Stan sits back in his seat. Then his head lolls back and his eyes close, while his mouth falls open. Ford manages to catch him before he falls out of his seat.

“Stan!”

Stan does not answer. Ford shakes him gently, which does nothing. Carefully, Ford slings him over a shoulder and brings him to bed. Once he’s laid out, Ford checks his eyes and his pulse. His hands are shaking so badly, he doesn’t succeed the first few times.

Ford sits next to Stan’s head which tilts towards him. He runs a hand through his hair which is still a little damp. Ford grabs the sheet to dry Stan’s hair.

It’s the least he can do.

The first and last time he had seen Stan with this expression had been after Stan’s memory was erased. The blank expression had been burned into Ford’s memory. It was exactly the same as last time.

Ford waited, gently running a hand through Stan’s hair, hoping that he would wake up soon.

Like last time, he would have to wait to see what would happen.

-000-

Ford wakes up when someone lets out a loud snort next to him.

He sits up. It’s morning, he must have fallen asleep watching Stan.

Stan, who looks to be waking up.

Ford waits with bated breath.

Stan blinks awake, yawning loudly in Ford’s face. He smacks his mouth a few times and scratches himself.

Stan blinks, realizing Ford is staring at him. He looks away, chucking awkwardly, his cheeks a bit flushed.

“Hey, Sixer, watching someone sleep is a little, you know, don’t you think?”

Stan’s eyes are sparkling and he’s saying this with good humor. He doesn’t remember. Before Ford can formulate a reply Stan sits up and gets out of bed.

“I’m going to hit the john,” Stan says.

With Stan in the bathroom, Ford scrambles to clean everything off the table. Stan doesn’t notice a thing and Ford is going to keep it that way. He tried to help Stan remember and the result was disastrous. Better to let him remember naturally, or wait until they could get to a proper environment to help him remember.

In the meantime, it wasn’t a hardship to be with this Stan.

-000-

The days and nights start to grow longer and colder. Stan and Ford bundle up, but more often than not, find themselves pressed up against each other to stay warm. They often sit next to each other, arm to arm, with their thighs pressed together.

Stan seems unaffected by the change, happy even. He’s unlike Ford who is a nervous wreck from the additional contact. When they’re that close, Ford sweats and gets a little jittery.

They dock one day to resupply when Stan wants to go the local pub.

“Just to get a drink and some information,” Stan reassures.

Ford looks doubtful, but this isn’t the normal version of Stan. Maybe this one wouldn’t get into a fist fight. Maybe they could have a drink and some hot food that wasn’t originally canned. A meal that they didn’t have to make would be wonderful.

-000-

“Come and get some!”

Stan laughs maniacally as he clocks some guy with a chair.

The locals don’t understand Stan and don’t care. They throw themselves at him while Ford tries to open the safe behind the bar.

Ford grumbles. One of the only times they go to a bar together and they find out that the pub was housing some terrible and cursed artifact. It was only right that they take it to protect the town. But here they were, in a bar fight. Maybe it was an anomaly or the artifact that was making the locals attack them.

Ford hears Stan laugh again after a particularly nasty sounding ‘boom.’

Perhaps Ford should have considered that this Stan was still someone who would steal from a Harvest deity. Starting a bar fight was small potatoes in comparison.

There’s another crash that makes Ford wince and throws off his ability to crack the safe.

Screw it. He uses his gun to blast the lock and the door swings open. The statue inside looks unfortunately familiar. Ford stuffs it into his pocket even though it's pointy triangle edges are digging into his side.

With his mission accomplished, Ford jumps over the bar to help Stan.

There are three men advancing on his twin, but Stan keeps them at bay with what looks to be one of the pub decorations; a rusty anchor.

The men are wary and Ford is about to step in, when one the men grabs a bottle and throws it at Stan. Stan dodges the first, but gets clocked by a second. It hits him in the head and he crumples.

Ford finds himself smashing a fist into the one that hit his brother. Then he draws his gun, making sure to shield Stan, and snarls at the others. They back away and try to talk, but Ford isn’t having any of it.

Just when he’s about to shoot them and be done with it, a hand on his leg stops him.

“Let’s go,” Stan rasps.

Ford hesitates, but nods. He helps Stan up and they leave the pub, immediately fleeing to their boat. Stan is steady enough to work the sail, so they take off.

When they’re out on rough waters, Stan stumbles.

Ford drops to his knees trying to catch him.

Stan shakes his head. “Just need to regain my sea legs,” he says, but allows Ford to drag him inside.

Ford wonders if maybe Stan should sit, but decides otherwise. In Stan’s condition, it would be easier to take care of him in bed.

Ford lays him out and Stan groans. Ford starts undressing him so he’s comfortable. Stan tries to fight him off, but it’s easy enough to bat Stan’s hands away.

“I got you, Stan,” he says.

Finally he starts diagnosing: checking Stan’s pulse (erratic but not too fast), his pupils (dilated, but of matching size), and finally his head wound.

Stan flinches away from him and Ford gently shushes him. “I’ll be careful,” he says softly.

It looks like there’s a cut- but it’s partially healed. Ford doesn’t remember the bottle shattering-

Then Ford remembers. The head wound is in the same place as Stan’s last injury.

Ford bites his lip.

It’s his worst nightmare come to pass. He thinks about calling the others, but decides not to. They can’t help him.

He doesn’t know what will happen but he’ll be here right next to Stan’s side.

Ford spends the rest of the night watching and gently waking Stan up every few hours. Stan seems to be sleeping evenly and without issue so Ford goes up to make sure they’re sailing in the right direction.

When he comes back, Stan is completely still.

Fearing the worst, Ford violently shakes him and Stan comes awake swinging. Ford dodges the blows.

“Stan! Stan it’s me!” Ford catches Stan’s fists and holds them.

Stan’s wild eyes finally focus on him.

He scowls, pulling away.

Ford lets him go. He recognizes the expression.

“What happened?” Stan asks, mouth in a deep frown.

“You don’t remember the bar fight?” Ford asks.

Stan rubs his head, “Did we win?” He asks instead of answering.

“Yes, yes we did,” Ford says.

Stan chuckles, “Then I think I remember putting down a couple of guys. But you didn’t have to babysit me, Ford. I’m fine.”

“Yes, I suppose you’ve recovered now.”

-000-

Stan returns back to the way he was before the whole amnesia event occurred. Stan immediately recognizes the fact that he’s forgotten some time once he looks at the date. He has vague recollection of time passing, but Stan can’t remember any details.

Ford gives him a brief summary of the changes, mostly that he forgot about the kids, but that he remembered Ford. He had only realized Stan was having memory issues once he couldn’t remember the kids. Ford also talks about their gourd adventure because he’s sure the kids will bring it up.

Other than that, Ford keeps his mouth shut.

There’s no need to bring up anything that Stan can’t remember. And there’s no reason to feel sad for a version of Stan that wasn’t supposed to exist.

Ford is in fact grateful that Stan remembers the kids now.

Once Stan had realized what he had forgotten, he immediately called the kids. They looked so happy, and Ford realizes how hard it must have been for Dipper and Mabel to be forgotten by their Grunkle.

He doesn’t begrudge this version of Stan, because with this version their family is whole and healthy.

But now Ford has had a taste of something wonderful that he hadn’t known was possible. And he wants the best of both worlds. He wants a Stan that cares deeply about his family, and who thinks that Ford hung the moon.

When he was young he didn’t appreciate the Stan who thought that Ford hung the moon. Ever since Gravity Falls he could appreciate the Stan who deeply cared for his family. Then getting the Stan who thought highly of him, but losing the other Stan, well, if only it was possible have it both ways.

-000-

Ford often finds himself staring at Stan.

The man isn’t any less handsome than before, still has those intense eyes and wonderful smile. His hands are big and strong as he handles the sail and Ford could feel his heart skip a beat when he hears him laugh.

Ford sighs.

He finally figures out he’s in love with Stan and then loses any possibility of being with him.

Typical.

How did he not realize his feelings?

There wasn’t anything he could do about it now. Well, there was, but Ford was tired. He had such highs and a lows with his brother over these months that he didn’t want to rock the boat anymore.

He would have to be satisfied with the way things were.

Except now he was constantly aware of what was going on in his heart.

As a result, Ford stares at Stan. And he notices that Stan no longer smiles less now That on occasion he frowns and looks sad for no reason. And that he looks tired.

Ford wishes he could fix that.

He forces himself to look away.

Already more than a week has passed since Stan’s recovery, Ford should be over it.

In fact, he should try and follow Fiddlefords advice, try to repair their relationship. He knows what it looks like, but he doesn’t want to take the first step.

He’s staring off into the water, considering his options when Stan coughs behind him.

“Hey,” he says taking a place next to Ford.

Stan stares out at the water while Ford stares at him.

“Sooo…” Stan taps his fingers and starts fiddling with his pockets. “Trick or treat?”

“Pardon me?” Ford asks.

Stan coughs into his hand. “I missed Halloween. Now Trick or Treat, Sixer?”

“Ah, treat then,” Ford answers. Might as well go with the expected answer.

Stan holds something out and Ford opens his hands to receive it. Into his hands drops a small candy wrapped in wax paper. Stan gestures for him to go ahead, so Ford unwraps it and pops it into his mouth.

It’s brown sugar, Ford’s favorite. And it’s homemade like one of the candies that Stan made in October.

“Since there was a treat, I guess it makes sense that there was a trick too. I left some clues for myself so I’ve finally started to remember,” Stan explains.

Oh boy.

Ford wonders what exactly Stan remembers. He’s not sure he can come up with logical explanations for everything that has happened.

“I- I was never tricking you, Stan,” Ford tries to explain.

“Yeah. But we weren’t truthful with each other, were we?” Stan says.

We?

“What about my treat, Ford?”

Stan finally looks into his eyes and he gets pulled in by their intensity.

Stan takes a step closer.

This close now, Ford can feel the heat coming off of his brother.

Stan’s eyes glances down at his mouth.

“You gonna share that?” He asks, a quirk to his lips.

Ford doesn’t reply, just leans in. They meet in the middle for a kiss, sharing the taste of brown sugar candy.

Maybe Stan pulls back first, Ford doesn’t know, but when they do Ford is greeted with a familiar expression. Stan’s face has softened and is looking at him with warmth again. Ford slowly smiles feeling a weight come off his shoulders.

“Happy Halloween, Sixer,” Stan says.

“It’s November, Stanley,” Ford can’t help but say.

Stan rolls his eyes but grabs his hand and laces their fingers together. “Don’t ruin the moment.”

Instead of arguing, Ford leans in for another kiss. He’ll have to keep kissing Stan until they get the moment just right.

[bright-witch]

Hey Micha! I was wondering about how you deal with the stress and worry that comes with being aware of the terrible ways nature is being treated and the whole climate crisis thing? I find myself feeling terribly stressed and helpless sometimes and I really feel like whatever I do it will never help make a change.

I’m so sorry it took me a while to answer this!! I’m both very sad you feel that way, but also relieved that you care/understand how important nature is. Thank you for being thoughtful and empathetic

In spite of it seeming small, the little things we do on an individual basis do matter a great deal. The way you can help totally depends on your comfort level and how able you are, but any and every step we take to better the Earth matters. Using slightly less water in the shower, composting, recycling as much as possible (I learned how to make my own paper using water and recycled paper, it’s so cool!!!), not using complex chemical sprays on weeds in favor of hand-weeding or using simple soaps/vinegar, using baking soda to get rid of roof moss instead of nasty sprays, attempting to buy from local food sources with good business practices if you can afford it, try to use more reusable items and reduce plastic waste items (plastic bags can be recycled at Fred Meyer in Oregon, I’m sure other grocery stores do the same?), try to grow some of your own food if you have time and space, purchase from second-hand stores and local stores, for food farmer’s markets are ideal, and walking/biking/using public transit/carpooling/grouping your errands together while driving – all of these things help a lot in terms of lifestyle choices. but if you’re poor, chances are your carbon footprint is pretty low already, (mine is ~8 metric tons of co2/year lol), unless you have children/a family to support (the larger the family, the bigger the footprint of course)/more than one car. Even so, upper middle-class/wealthier families always have HUGE carbon footprints relative to poor families especially. When it comes to wealthy families, many are incredibly wasteful to the nth degree, in spite of the fact they have ample means to buy locally, and reduce their carbon/water/waste footprint with technology and the various comfortable lifestyle choices money brings. They have greater responsibility due to their greater hoard of resources, yet they waste like gluttons, not even realizing the consequences of their actions because they do not feel the repurcussions, and rarely even see them. In Portland – a city that prides itself on being green and eco friendly – looking up the biggest water wasters pissed me off so much and I realized just how much wealthy people do not care how much they waste. 

 In terms of more earth-related things… keeping yourself, your dogs, and children on the trail is VERY important, I cannot stress this enough. I know it seems fun, it is often glorified in the media,and it seems harmless to go off trail, but it isn’t harmless. Human disturbance and human affected climate change are the main reasons invasive species take over native plant habitat/niches in droves. I studied this for my job in the lab for three years. Going off trail in a disturbed, shitty forest near a suburb or city with no hope of recovery is fine, I guess… if the people living there have no motivation or hope to restore it, which is sad. One of the recovery forests I worked in was a city forest, covered in ivy – we were able to get native populations growing with simple hard work – the weed n pull n native planting method! 

We all need to be much more conscious about where we walk, and we all need much more restraint. When it comes to the phrase, “take only pictures, leave only footprints”, I’ll only agree if those footprints are on. the. trail. ;D

Hand-weeding invasive plants in your region/area and/or planting new native seedlings is a great way to help reverse some of the damage humans have done to various ecosystems. If you are lucky enough to live on a private piece of property, turning your yard into a native habitat (you can get certified by your city/state in certain areas, which is really cool!) is one of the most effective ways to locally start helping. Also, it’s gross and please be careful, but cleaning litter in your local area is a highly effective way to reduce animal death and soil/water pollution. Trying to use less miraclegrow/weird chemical fertilizer in place of compost/simpler, more natural fertilizers is an excellent way to make sure no excess nutrients enter water bodies. 

Volunteering for a clean-up party (the Oregon coast has clean up parties all the time hosted by SOLVE), planting party, or invasive removal party in your local area is an excellent way to contribute too!! I know that Portland, Oregon has a lot of groups that volunteer to kill invasive ivy and blackberry in the summer; I’m sure that googling would yeild some results in that city and others with similar organizations and planting parties? Maybe? I hope ;-;  Friends of Trees is a great organization in Portland dedicated to studying the quality of life of trees and planting new native trees in the metro area. (A lab friend of mine helps run it, and he is a brilliant PhD graduate in botany who works with arguably the best plant physiology professor in the country, and they are all so nice! ). Oh, and watching nature documentaries, reading local news, and staying up to date on the science articles that make sense to you is the best way to keep yourself informed and sharp!! Knowledge is critical, understanding how earth’s natural systems interact is critical too. In order to help, we must better understand. I wasn’t some bleeding heart tree hugger before I went to school for biology and earth sciences…. what I learned motivated me. None of my teachers shoved their beliefs down my throat and they all played devil’s advocate for all information presented, as a good teacher should. I synthesized everything I learned and then looked among all the details, and realized how important all of nature is. How everything is connected. It was neutral knowledge, the truths of this world that led me to care, and I hope it does that for others too.

Oh, and I’d like to add that, (other than donating to habitat preserving organizations like the Nature Conservancy or animal protecting foundations like The Snow Leopard Trust,) staying aware of and calling your representative about alarming political measures involving land use is one of the most important ways you can stop further ecological degradation, especially with this current administration. This is also difficult, as most news groups don’t report on environmental issues with accuracy or emotion if at all, and both sides of the American political coin like to compromise harshly regarding the environment. Apparently in our society, it’s very easy to get away with, and justify, killing a forest and the animals in it. Hell, hunting is a recreational -sport-, right? ? /vomits/

I’m so sorry I don’t have time to write more (and I am SO sorry this is written poorly!), I have a ridiculous number of messages to respond to and I need to take a food break, but I wish I could have written you an even longer essay. Please take care, and you are amazing!! I believe in you bb. You got this.Oh, and as a final note: I try to think about the resilience of nature/the wondrous life left in this world to inspire me in a positive way as well. It’s an excellent motivator!! We can learn so much from Earth’s diverse organisms. Thank you again for the question, and I hope it’s okay that I publish this.

[ralphlayton]

The Great Marketing Get-Together

State fair season brings tasty new foods-on-a-stick and a grandstand full of marketing lessons for those willing to walk the midway. The Minnesota State Fair, known affectionately as the Great Minnesota Get-Together, begins tomorrow, and we’ll explore some of the wild new food concoctions on offer this year, and dig in to a bucket-of-cookies-size list of surprising things it can teach us about marketing. The fair, which began all the way back in 1859, is one of the largest in the U.S., now often topping the 2 million attendee mark each 12-day season and offering fair-goers 322 acres of summer fun in the form of amusement rides, live music from at least four stages, art, animals, parades and more. Marketers can gain plenty of insight from the spectacle of the Minnesota State Fair, so let’s take a food-centric look at some of the marketing lessons we can learn from the Great Minnesota Get-Together.

The Power of Anticipation On A Stick

Each year fair-goers eagerly anticipate the list of new foods being released, followed by a period of speculation about how each new food will taste before the event begins, including some who even place odds on each new fair food. Marketers have long built anticipation into campaigns, especially for organizations with popular products and services with many dedicated fans such as top car manufacturers and video game makers. Getting your audience excited, whether it’s by building anticipation through social media, search marketing, or influencer marketing, is a time-tested tactic in many successful campaigns, and we’ll see how the sometimes over-the-top foods of the fair parallel these methods. In our age of instant gratification and always-on answers, anticipation is sometimes overlooked as a powerful marketing element. [bctt tweet="“The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.” — Andy Warhol " username="toprank"] If your organization is lucky enough to already have throngs of hard-core fans, keeping them happy through clear communication about upcoming releases, teaser previews, behind-the-scenes glimpses, and other fan-pleasing methods is likely to build continued success. [bctt tweet="“Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” — Ana Monnar " username="toprank"]

FOMO & The Power of Ever-New Fair Food

Over 30 all-new foods will premier tomorrow at The Minnesota State Fair for 2019, including:

Bada Bing Sandwich

Blueberry Key Lime Pie

Cheesy Sriracha Funnel Cake Bites

Pebbles & Bam Bam Nordic Waffles

Peaches n’ Cream Nachos

Whether it’s one of these or the new Wingwalker Donut Flight with user-injectable flavor filling syringes, each year state fairs do an admirable job of getting mouths watering — or perplexing us with unusual concoctions — ultimately driving interest in a way that even B2B marketers can emulate and achieve success with. Reading the list of new fair foods induces a super-size dose of Fear of Missing Out (FOMA), an emotion that marketers can play on and work to include in our own campaigns, even if they may not include chocolate coatings, tornado potatoes and other deep-fried delights. Try not to let FOMA detract from either your marketing or your personal life, however. [bctt tweet="“Joy comes to us in moments — ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” — Brené Brown @BreneBrown" username="toprank"] State fairs thrive by augmenting each year’s wild new foods with tried-and-true standby favorites such as corn-on-the-cob, cheese curds, and corndogs, which fair-goers have come to expect, just as many midway thrill-seekers still expect to enjoy a ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl — a 1926 Minnesota invention. Knowing when to retire a food requires walking that fine line between getting rid of a slow seller and possibly removing mom’s favorite fair treat. Marketers too need to consider their audiences before dropping an old marketing tactic or channel in favor of a shiny new selling method. Conducting audience surveys can help you find out how your customers would feel if you removed an element from your organization’s systems, whether it’s a chatbot virtual assistant, an online form, or even support for a particular social media platform. Understanding your audience’s needs and desires goes a long way towards building strong customer relationships, and one way to gain these types of insight is through researching the questions that your audience is asking, as I wrote about recently in “10 Smart Question Research Tools for B2B Marketers.” [bctt tweet="“Finding trends in what your current customers need can help you answer questions that your prospective customers might be asking, too.” — Jessica Best @bestofjess" username="toprank"]

Corn Dogs & Classic Social Media Marketing

These days social media marketing is a classic tactic, a comforting corn dog of the marketing world. The specific platforms we use come and go, and their features change as frequently as the fair-goers riding the SkyRide or Octopus, yet many social tactics are bedrocks of marketing. A sizable part of a successful social media marketing campaign is keeping track of performance benchmarks, as Joshua Nite, our Content Marketing Manager explored in detail in “Social Media Marketing Benchmarks: What Works & Where to Focus,” which was our most popular social media marketing post of 2018. [bctt tweet="“We should approach evolving our social media with the same data-driven, strategic rigor that applies to everything else we do.” — Joshua Nite @NiteWrites" username="toprank"] Over the past 15 years we’ve written a midway-full of additional helpful articles about how you can best incorporate social media marketing into your own campaigns, and some of the top recent ones are listed here, with no midway ticket coupons even required…

80+ New Social Media Marketing Statistics for B2B Marketers

Social Media Secrets: 5 Under-the-Radar LinkedIn Features for Marketers

B2B Social Media Shakeup: 4 Developments That Have Caught Our Eye

Blooming Onions & Podcast Marketing

Podcasting has been among the biggest blooming marketing trends in recent years, with forecasts predicting that ad spending in the podcasting industry will top $1 billion by 2021, equal to more state fair blooming onions than you could shake a corn-dog stick at. As one of today’s most promising marketing opportunities, podcasting has found a new way to take the simple commodity of people talking and turn it into a highly desirable and profitable digital asset, much the same as how state fair vendors take an ordinary onion and transform it into a showy explosion of deep-fried rooty tentacles. [bctt tweet="“Stay closer to top-of-funnel with your podcast ideas. It’s far better to educate, inspire, and entertain your audience than to try and sell them something.” — Joshua Nite @NiteWrites" username="toprank"] As podcasting has bloomed over the past several years, our team at TopRank Marketing has explored its’ relevant use in B2B marketing, including the following recent articles:

How to Promote Your B2B Podcast

20 Podcasts To Elevate Your B2B Marketing

10 More Marketing Podcasts To Boost Your Business

Deep-Fried Candy Bars & The Promise of VR/AR Interactive Marketing

Virtual reality (VR) and augmented reality (AR) have also taken marketing by storm, similar to how deep-fried candy bars have given many the promise of a bold new future of state fair indulgences. Dip your marketing Snickers and advertising Milky-Ways into a batter of VR and dunk them into the fryer, and read up on how interactive elements will play a bigger role in our future marketing efforts, with our recent articles here:

Augmented Reality: How to Leverage AR in Marketing With Cathy Hackl

The Future of B2B Content: Data-Informed, Interactive, and Influential

How B2B Marketers Can Make the Most of Interactive Content Tools

Cheese Curds & Search Marketing

Cheese has been around a lot longer than search engines, yet both are modern staples for most marketers and many fair-goers. As with social media marketing, the specific tactics needed to achieve success in search and SEO are highly-specialized. Get to the cheesy, gooey center of your search marketing learning by grabbing a bit bite of our recent posts on the subject here:

What the Future of Google Search Means for B2B Marketers

How B2B Marketers Can Win at Search with Best Answer Content

Our Top 10 Search Marketing Posts

The Full Food Court of Influencer Marketing

Influencer marketing is hard to pair with any single state fair delicacy, as the many benefits it offers when executed smartly are more akin to the virtually unlimited smorgasbord of flavors available in the state fair’s main food court. Influencer marketing spending in the U.S. and Canada has seen 83 percent year-over-year growth, accompanied by second-quarter spending of $442 million, according to recent research. Recent data also shows that micro and niche-influencers are forging stronger target audience connections and boosting long-term loyalty, and over the next 12 months, 65 percent of multinational brands plan to increase influencer marketing spending, according to the World Federation of Advertisers. [bctt tweet="“Whether you’re tired of or wired for “influencer marketing”, make no mistake: The growth of influence on individual and organizational effectiveness in the B2B marketing world will continue for years to come.” @LeeOdden" username="toprank"] In Minnesota our State Fair is considered our state’s Greatest Show on Earth, a similar theme we recently pursued as we partnered with the Content Marketing Institute to showcase the powerful and entertaining combination of influencer marketing and interactive digital assets, which you can experience here: If you’ve never had the opportunity to experience the splendors of a state fair, we hope you’ll someday be able to visit one, and if you’re near Minnesota be sure to take in our Great Minnesota Get-Together. I'll leave you with a photo of this author preparing to tackle a mountain of spiral potatoes at the Minnesota State Fair in 2014.

The post The Great Marketing Get-Together appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

The Great Marketing Get-Together published first on yhttps://improfitninja.blogspot.com/

[samuelpboswell]

The Great Marketing Get-Together

State fair season brings tasty new foods-on-a-stick and a grandstand full of marketing lessons for those willing to walk the midway. The Minnesota State Fair, known affectionately as the Great Minnesota Get-Together, begins tomorrow, and we’ll explore some of the wild new food concoctions on offer this year, and dig in to a bucket-of-cookies-size list of surprising things it can teach us about marketing. The fair, which began all the way back in 1859, is one of the largest in the U.S., now often topping the 2 million attendee mark each 12-day season and offering fair-goers 322 acres of summer fun in the form of amusement rides, live music from at least four stages, art, animals, parades and more. Marketers can gain plenty of insight from the spectacle of the Minnesota State Fair, so let’s take a food-centric look at some of the marketing lessons we can learn from the Great Minnesota Get-Together.

The Power of Anticipation On A Stick

Each year fair-goers eagerly anticipate the list of new foods being released, followed by a period of speculation about how each new food will taste before the event begins, including some who even place odds on each new fair food. Marketers have long built anticipation into campaigns, especially for organizations with popular products and services with many dedicated fans such as top car manufacturers and video game makers. Getting your audience excited, whether it’s by building anticipation through social media, search marketing, or influencer marketing, is a time-tested tactic in many successful campaigns, and we’ll see how the sometimes over-the-top foods of the fair parallel these methods. In our age of instant gratification and always-on answers, anticipation is sometimes overlooked as a powerful marketing element. [bctt tweet="“The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.” — Andy Warhol " username="toprank"] If your organization is lucky enough to already have throngs of hard-core fans, keeping them happy through clear communication about upcoming releases, teaser previews, behind-the-scenes glimpses, and other fan-pleasing methods is likely to build continued success. [bctt tweet="“Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” — Ana Monnar " username="toprank"]

FOMO & The Power of Ever-New Fair Food

Over 30 all-new foods will premier tomorrow at The Minnesota State Fair for 2019, including:

Bada Bing Sandwich

Blueberry Key Lime Pie

Cheesy Sriracha Funnel Cake Bites

Pebbles & Bam Bam Nordic Waffles

Peaches n’ Cream Nachos

Whether it’s one of these or the new Wingwalker Donut Flight with user-injectable flavor filling syringes, each year state fairs do an admirable job of getting mouths watering — or perplexing us with unusual concoctions — ultimately driving interest in a way that even B2B marketers can emulate and achieve success with. Reading the list of new fair foods induces a super-size dose of Fear of Missing Out (FOMA), an emotion that marketers can play on and work to include in our own campaigns, even if they may not include chocolate coatings, tornado potatoes and other deep-fried delights. Try not to let FOMA detract from either your marketing or your personal life, however. [bctt tweet="“Joy comes to us in moments — ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” — Brené Brown @BreneBrown" username="toprank"] State fairs thrive by augmenting each year’s wild new foods with tried-and-true standby favorites such as corn-on-the-cob, cheese curds, and corndogs, which fair-goers have come to expect, just as many midway thrill-seekers still expect to enjoy a ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl — a 1926 Minnesota invention. Knowing when to retire a food requires walking that fine line between getting rid of a slow seller and possibly removing mom’s favorite fair treat. Marketers too need to consider their audiences before dropping an old marketing tactic or channel in favor of a shiny new selling method. Conducting audience surveys can help you find out how your customers would feel if you removed an element from your organization’s systems, whether it’s a chatbot virtual assistant, an online form, or even support for a particular social media platform. Understanding your audience’s needs and desires goes a long way towards building strong customer relationships, and one way to gain these types of insight is through researching the questions that your audience is asking, as I wrote about recently in “10 Smart Question Research Tools for B2B Marketers.” [bctt tweet="“Finding trends in what your current customers need can help you answer questions that your prospective customers might be asking, too.” — Jessica Best @bestofjess" username="toprank"]

Corn Dogs & Classic Social Media Marketing

These days social media marketing is a classic tactic, a comforting corn dog of the marketing world. The specific platforms we use come and go, and their features change as frequently as the fair-goers riding the SkyRide or Octopus, yet many social tactics are bedrocks of marketing. A sizable part of a successful social media marketing campaign is keeping track of performance benchmarks, as Joshua Nite, our Content Marketing Manager explored in detail in “Social Media Marketing Benchmarks: What Works & Where to Focus,” which was our most popular social media marketing post of 2018. [bctt tweet="“We should approach evolving our social media with the same data-driven, strategic rigor that applies to everything else we do.” — Joshua Nite @NiteWrites" username="toprank"] Over the past 15 years we’ve written a midway-full of additional helpful articles about how you can best incorporate social media marketing into your own campaigns, and some of the top recent ones are listed here, with no midway ticket coupons even required…

80+ New Social Media Marketing Statistics for B2B Marketers

Social Media Secrets: 5 Under-the-Radar LinkedIn Features for Marketers

B2B Social Media Shakeup: 4 Developments That Have Caught Our Eye

Blooming Onions & Podcast Marketing

Podcasting has been among the biggest blooming marketing trends in recent years, with forecasts predicting that ad spending in the podcasting industry will top $1 billion by 2021, equal to more state fair blooming onions than you could shake a corn-dog stick at. As one of today’s most promising marketing opportunities, podcasting has found a new way to take the simple commodity of people talking and turn it into a highly desirable and profitable digital asset, much the same as how state fair vendors take an ordinary onion and transform it into a showy explosion of deep-fried rooty tentacles. [bctt tweet="“Stay closer to top-of-funnel with your podcast ideas. It’s far better to educate, inspire, and entertain your audience than to try and sell them something.” — Joshua Nite @NiteWrites" username="toprank"] As podcasting has bloomed over the past several years, our team at TopRank Marketing has explored its’ relevant use in B2B marketing, including the following recent articles:

How to Promote Your B2B Podcast

20 Podcasts To Elevate Your B2B Marketing

10 More Marketing Podcasts To Boost Your Business

Deep-Fried Candy Bars & The Promise of VR/AR Interactive Marketing

Virtual reality (VR) and augmented reality (AR) have also taken marketing by storm, similar to how deep-fried candy bars have given many the promise of a bold new future of state fair indulgences. Dip your marketing Snickers and advertising Milky-Ways into a batter of VR and dunk them into the fryer, and read up on how interactive elements will play a bigger role in our future marketing efforts, with our recent articles here:

Augmented Reality: How to Leverage AR in Marketing With Cathy Hackl

The Future of B2B Content: Data-Informed, Interactive, and Influential

How B2B Marketers Can Make the Most of Interactive Content Tools

Cheese Curds & Search Marketing

Cheese has been around a lot longer than search engines, yet both are modern staples for most marketers and many fair-goers. As with social media marketing, the specific tactics needed to achieve success in search and SEO are highly-specialized. Get to the cheesy, gooey center of your search marketing learning by grabbing a bit bite of our recent posts on the subject here:

What the Future of Google Search Means for B2B Marketers

How B2B Marketers Can Win at Search with Best Answer Content

Our Top 10 Search Marketing Posts

The Full Food Court of Influencer Marketing

Influencer marketing is hard to pair with any single state fair delicacy, as the many benefits it offers when executed smartly are more akin to the virtually unlimited smorgasbord of flavors available in the state fair’s main food court. Influencer marketing spending in the U.S. and Canada has seen 83 percent year-over-year growth, accompanied by second-quarter spending of $442 million, according to recent research. Recent data also shows that micro and niche-influencers are forging stronger target audience connections and boosting long-term loyalty, and over the next 12 months, 65 percent of multinational brands plan to increase influencer marketing spending, according to the World Federation of Advertisers. [bctt tweet="“Whether you’re tired of or wired for “influencer marketing”, make no mistake: The growth of influence on individual and organizational effectiveness in the B2B marketing world will continue for years to come.” @LeeOdden" username="toprank"] In Minnesota our State Fair is considered our state’s Greatest Show on Earth, a similar theme we recently pursued as we partnered with the Content Marketing Institute to showcase the powerful and entertaining combination of influencer marketing and interactive digital assets, which you can experience here: If you’ve never had the opportunity to experience the splendors of a state fair, we hope you’ll someday be able to visit one, and if you’re near Minnesota be sure to take in our Great Minnesota Get-Together. I'll leave you with a photo of this author preparing to tackle a mountain of spiral potatoes at the Minnesota State Fair in 2014.

The post The Great Marketing Get-Together appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

from The SEO Advantages http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/OnlineMarketingSEOBlog/~3/mutSjT5W_Jk/