#do people still go clubbing or to bars? in this economy? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

boymeetsweevil · 3 years ago

Text

Call me maybe

Grouping: Reader x Namjoon

Word Count: ~6.59k

Warnings/Themes: Club meet-cute AU, 1% angst +99% suggestive fluff, (legal!) alcohol consumption, language, flirting anxiety(?)

Summary: It all started with a stupid drinking game...

A/N: this is the One Direction wattpad-style fanfic that's been haunting me for so long. beware of that and the fact that this is unedited hahaha...

“You know the rules, girls. Whoever wins this round of rock-paper-scissors is It.”

You and your three friends, warm and bubbly from 2 rounds of shots at this point in the evening, assume your battle stances and stick your hands into the center of your table. Four hands make a square over the scattered layer of empty decorative shot glasses from the bar in the club.

There’s an air of electric excitement that comes with this game, lovingly nicknamed Hunter-Gathering. Whoever is It gets a target and has to pursue that target in hopes of bringing ‘home’ free drinks for everyone the rest of the night. But no matter how attractive the target is, you can't ever bring them home.

“Wait, wait!” Lia chimes in. “I can’t be It this time. I did it twice already and my ass still hurts from the last time.”

Dani nods seriously. “Fair enough. That means the odds are upped for the rest of you.”

“So, we’re just gonna ignore that ass thing,” another friend, Alexa, looks around the table with confused eyes.

“Do you actually want me to give you the details?” Lia smiles slowly at her from across the table.

Alexa’s face brightens with her own smile, worry evaporated. “You know what? I don’t! Never mind.”

The game begins and somehow you find yourself the lone rock amongst two pairs of scissors. Alexa and Dani laugh with relief because they don’t have to put in any work tonight. You roll your eyes to the heavens and silently question your karma.

“Are you ready to pick your target?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Dani grins.

She steps forward and grabs a clean face mask out of her clutch bag and wraps it around your eyes, careful not to muss your makeup or hair. Three pairs of hands rest on your shoulders and you let them spin you lightly around a few times. Not enough to get you dizzy but just enough to make sure you don’t know what direction you’re facing anymore.

“Alright,” Dani’s voice sounds out over the music of the club. “Take your pick!”

You stick your hand out blindly and someone unties the makeshift blindfold. Everyone follows the line your hand makes all the way to a tall figure standing by the side of the bar.

He’s probably the most handsome man any of you have seen in a while. There's an intimidating aura emanating from him. You figure it's the understated all-black outfit complete with the heinously expensive watch he's wearing and the sheer height of him as he towers over people near him at the bar.

“Oh my god,” Dani whispers as you all take in the stranger’s face.

“We can finally get top shelf vodka,” Alexa pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Not bad,” Lia hums in appreciation.

“Okay, why is everyone acting like I bagged him already?” Your voice grows high with nerves. “I'm pretty sure I have, like, a 2% chance of interesting him."

“What are you so worried about?” Dani crosses her arms at you. “Just do whatever you did to get those history nerds to help you out that one time."

"This is not the same thing. Those guys parted their hair 90/10 unironically and thought Diva Cups are for when you don't want to hold your pee when you stand in line for roller coasters."

"You're kidding," Lia gasps. You wish you were.

"Well, just pretend he's one of them anyway." Dani suggests, "Every guy is the same."

You can't argue with that logic.

“I mean, I can try flirting with him, but he’s probably so used to people throwing themselves at him. I don’t think anything I do would, like, make a dent, you know?”

“Babe, no. No—listen to me, okay?” Alexa takes you by the shoulders and forces you around so you can see how serious she is.

“Tonight is the last free night of vacation. After tonight, we have less than a day to get over our hangovers, pack up the Airbnb, and then catch our 6am flight back home to start the spring term. Our last night of freedom lies in your hands.”

“But, what if—”

“No ‘but’s. Do you see yourself? Do you see your skin in this fresh white two piece? Have you seen how your tits look in this off the shoulder top? That poor man doesn’t stand a chance!”

Lia murmurs her agreement in the background and Dani mentions something about fearing for the guy's soul. You think about the freakishly good pictures you all took in the stylish club bathroom when you first arrived.

“I see your point.”

You turn back toward the bar to review your target. He sips from a dark green bottle as he looks around at the people on the dance floor between your table and the bar. As he continues to scan the room, he locks eyes with you. You hold his gaze even though your instincts are screaming at you to duck for cover. Surprisingly, he gives a small smile and raises his bottle in salute.

"See, you got the hardest part down already. Just fake the rest until you make it."

You chance a look back in his direction only to catch him staring in the direction of the table. When he catches your gaze again, he whips his head away, cheeks tinging pink under the soft yellow lighting at the bar.

Alexa cackles and starts detailing all the drinks she wants made with the top shelf vodka. Lia and Dani discuss leaving early to go back and clean up the apartment so it’s clean in case you break the rules and bring this guy back for the night.

“Uh, aren’t you guys moving a little fast?”

“Aren’t you moving a little slow,” Alexa counters.

“Hold on, Lex.” Dani turns to you. “You know you don’t actually have to do this if you don’t want to, right? Hunter-Gathering is just a game, there's no pressure.”

For all their poking and teasing, you're reminded right then and there that your friends would never put you in a situation where they thought you were actually at any risk. The weight you felt on your shoulders lightens somewhat.

“No, no, I definitely still want to play, I just don’t want you guys to get your hopes up.”

“I believe in you.”

Lia bumps shoulders with you quietly. She’s not the most affectionate, so you know she really means it.

“I’ll do my best.”

You let them tweak you a little bit, fixing stray hairs and wiping away smeared lip gloss and hiking up your skirt, giving you their drink orders, before you grab your purse and phone and push in your stool.

When you finally make it to the bar, he’s in the same spot as you first found him in. He spots you once you get close enough and naturally makes room for you. You set your bag on the bar countertop before hopping up on the empty stool immediately in front of him. The movement causes your skirt to ride up even more and you’re glad you only let Lia hike it up one inch instead of three.

Dani's advice about treating this guy like any other scrub from school reverbs in the back of your head right as the nerves start to set in. With the guys in your art history class, your grade was on the line. There was no room for hesitation when you could barely draw a stick figure, much less write an essay analyzing what an old painting style could tell you about the dairy economy in a certain town like some of your classmates were doing. It was because you were desperate that you were suddenly able to transform into a femme fatale. It also helped that these guys quivered at any interaction with an adult woman.

Tonight's drinks are on the line, you tell yourself. As best you can, you try to trick yourself into entering the same mindset you were in when you would lay on the charm extra thick for the art history guys.

You let the corner of your mouth lift up in a coy smile while you survey the bar. The bartender is moving back and forth quickly to handle the high demand. A second later the girl next to you leaves her spot with a tray of 8 bright pink drinks, practically glowing in the dark. You wonder briefly if you should try to get a round of those for the table.

“—one of those before?”

His voice is deep and pleasant. When you give him a look over your shoulder, you have to suppress a gasp. Up close he's even more handsome. You really have your work cut out for you.

“What?"

"That neon pink drink," he nods back in the direction of the girl who'd taken the cotton candy pink drinks with her. "I was wondering if you'd tried them before."

“No, I haven’t,” you smile, letting your lips part slowly. His eyes dart from your painted eyes to the colored stretch of your mouth and then quickly back up. “Have you?”

“No. But I like to try new things.”

You purse your lips as if in thought, something you've seen other girls do while flirting with guys at school. “You must be pretty unpredictable, then.”

“Huh? Well, I wouldn’t say that.” He stammers a bit and nearly drops his beer bottle trying and failing to put it down. All the intimidation you felt coming from him earlier seems to have disappeared.

“I was just kidding.”

Like it has a mind of its own, your hand reaches out to rest on his arm reassuringly while you continue to laugh at him. His features clear up then and a relieved smile blooms on his face, bringing out an adorable dimple with it.

“You’re teasing me,” he realizes with a good natured huff and steps into your touch.

“You seem kinda fun to tease.” You let your hand linger a little longer before finally pulling it back.

“It’s kinda fun. You're pretty good at it.”

Oddly enough, this isn't as difficult for you as you thought it was going to be. In fact, you find yourself naturally tilting your head and fixing him with an intrigued look from under your lashes. He takes the opportunity to look you over as well, a small smile on his lips.

The personal attention does make you a little nervous despite the fact that it’s positive. So you dig in your purse to avoid looking directly at him for too long and to give your hands something to do. You brush up against a tube of lip gloss, pull it out, and reapply some to your lips.

You look back at him when you realize he’s grown quiet, only to find him following the movements of the gloss brush tracing the curve of your lips, cheeks dusted pink and eyes half-closed like he's in some sort of trance.

Experimentally you press your lips together and then purse them to make sure the gloss is distributed evenly. The man doesn't blink once. Suddenly, all his expensive apparel and large stature aren’t so intimidating.

"Is there something on my face," you smirk.

He slow blinks down at your mouth twice before realizing you're speaking again. His eyes grow wide and he raises a ringed hand to rub at the back of his neck. The movement rustles the hair covering his ears, revealing their pink tips. Cute.

"Just looking."

You laugh a little at him again. He marvels at the way the club lighting dances around in your glossy smile.

"So, how come I've never seen you here before?"

"Well...it's the first time me and my friends have come here."

"I see." He pivots to face you and leans his closest elbow on the counter of the bar. "Are you guys new to the area?"

"You could say that, yeah."

He raises an eyebrow when you don’t elaborate. Without looking away, he raises his hand to signal to the bartender that he wants another drink. When the bartender runs right over, you realize this guy actually might be a big deal. Silently you pull your card out of your wallet as the bartender makes their way over. You figure you’ll have to spend some money before you can really ask someone like him to buy drinks for your table.

"What'll it be,” the bartender asks.

"Two of those pink drinks please," he says and before you can place any order the bartender zooms away.

While the bartender starts preparing the drinks, you turn toward him.

"Who said I wanted the pink drink?"

He grins down at you, a dimple now popping up in each cheek. "Who said it's for you?"

"I'm pretty sure it's for me."

"And what makes you so sure?" He takes a step closer to you.

"Just a hunch," you hum before crossing your legs.

The white fabric of your skirt hikes up your thighs again with the movement. You smooth your palms over the soft material.

"Nice skirt."

"Yeah? You like it?"

"I like it," he admits quietly.

"And the top?" You gesture toward the pair of straps on the matching tube top, manicured nails gliding over your décolletage. He wets his lips.

"The top too."

He reaches out one large hand to one of the straps that have fallen over your shoulder. The drag of his fingers against your bare arm as he fixes it makes you shiver. You lament the loss of contact when pulls his hand back.

The bartender arrives with your drinks then, startling the both of you out of the little staring competition that had spontaneously started. The pink drink seems to glow from within, topped with whipped cream and full of little round ice cubes made from some sort of darker rose syrup floating in the liquid like lava in a lava lamp. The color barely prepares you for the thick sweetness that floods your mouth on the first sip.

"Oh, that's kinda..."

He huffs a laugh around his own first swallow and nods in agreement.

"Not what you wanted?"

"It's just really sweet. You like it?”

He shrugs. “It’s alright. But—"

The way he cuts himself off has you confused for a moment before he's reaching towards you cautiously. You're not too sure what's going on until you feel the pad of his thumb swipe over the corner of your lips carrying away some of the whipped topping from the drink. Your eyes widen when instead of wiping the cream on one of the cocktail napkins available on the counter he brings his thumb to his own lips. In a fraction of a second the cream is gone, but you're left feeling a rush of fluttering warmth on the side of your mouth and in the center of your chest.

"You think your friends would like these?” He slides his drink to the side so he can lean on his elbow and turn to you again. Now's your chance.

“Um, I don’t think this is really their style.”

“What is their style?”

You rattle off their drinks of choice, making sure to mention their favorite brands with a sigh. Of course, whenever you play this game, the brands can change depending on the budget of whoever’s buying. This time, you make sure to name drop as much as possible, per Alexa's request.

“Sounds like your friends really know what they like.”

“Yeah, they have really…unique tastes.” You falter a little under his amused stare. “But we don’t always drink that way. I mean, not every bar even carries all those to begin with.”

“That’s true.” He nods. “This bar has every single of them, though. Pretty lucky, huh?”

“Yep,” you chirp. You’re not sure if you’re in trouble or not because he’s still smiling. He seems to be onto the game, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well, it would be a shame not to welcome you all to the city. Get whatever you want. My treat.”

“Are you sure?”

You place your hand on his arm again and squeeze for good measure. You don’t miss the way his large bicep flexes under your touch. After a beat, he brings his hand up to grasp yours and holds it while signaling to the bartender again. You give him a blindingly bright smile and he strokes his thumb over your knuckles.

He asks the bartender to ‘take care’ of your table tonight on him, and you realize then that you’ve won the game. The victory isn't nearly as sweet as the pink drinks from earlier. The rules prohibit you from bringing him home or going over to his place. And even if it wasn't prohibited, your vacation is basically over.

“Where are you and your friends from?

You take his hand between yours and play with some of the rings on his fingers. They’re beautiful together in an eclectic way and you wonder if someone chose them for him.

“It’s a kind of small city, not like this one. It’s really just our university and then a few surrounding towns.”

“What made you guys move here then?"

"Oh, Right." You feel guilty. "Me and my friends are just here for vacation."

He blinks at you but takes the news in stride. "Well, if you want—I know the city pretty well since I have a place here—maybe I can give you a tour of the town later this week."

"I'd love that, I really would. But we're actually leaving tomorrow."

"For real?” His eyes grow wide and he looks down at your linked hands before looking over your face. You're shocked to see his features fall.

"Yeah, it sucks."

“Damn,” he smiles bittersweet at the floor. “I wish we’d bumped into each other sooner.”

“I absolutely agree," the sound of Alexa's voice rings loud in your ear.

“Uh, hello. Did you need me for something?" Your voice is high and tight as you fix her with an accusatory stare. You're not 100% positive, but it seemed like you and he were having a moment.

"No, babe, I just wanted to come over and show you my beautiful drink. I wanted to come show my gratitude to you both for making sure we have a good last night. The girls will appreciate that. Thank you, kind sir."

“Name’s Namjoon. And no need to thank me,” he smiles at the exchange between you two and sticks out his hand. Alexa daintily lays her hand in his and he lets out an incredulous laugh before playing along and raising it to his lips.

"What a gentleman," she coos before pinching lightly at the skin of your exposed back. It's a clear message just for you, telling you that there's about to be a change in plans. "What were you guys discussing?"

"I was actually about to offer up our booth. There's more than enough room for your table if you wanted to move. Me and my team—friends definitely wouldn't mind the company."

“You don’t have to do that!” You pipe up, suddenly shy. But it's quickly dashed away as Alexa pulls out her phone and opens up the groupchat.

"Let me just ask our friends if they’d like that."

You already know the answer, so you sigh quietly and gather up your card, phone, and purse. You can’t say you won’t miss the privacy from when it was just you and Namjoon, but you’re glad to be with your friends again as well.

The move from your little table to the VIP booth is lightning fast. By the time you get your own drink, Lia and Dani are already clutching their things and vibrating with excitement near the ropes leading to the VIP booth. A few of Namjoon’s friends are chatting with them from the other side of the ropes.

Once your group trickles in, you don't miss how they all arrange themselves in the booth so you're forced to sit on the end next to Namjoon with barely any space. The only options are to let one of your legs hang off the edge of the booth the whole time or sit practically half in his lap. Alexa winks at you over the first sip of her next very expensive drink.

Namjoon's friends are occupied by your friends re-telling some of the more exciting parts of the beginning of your vacation. Some story about how 'someone' lost their top while trying to jet ski. You send a weak glare to Lia as she tries to get them to guess just whose top it was. That's what you get for experimenting with spaghetti strings, you suppose.

"Do you guys like to dance," one of his friends says after a while of vibing to the music once the chatter cools down. Hoseok, you think his name was.

"Yes, definitely." Dani remarks while re-applying lip gloss. "You know who's a great dancer?"

"Who?" Hoseok looks around excitedly.

"She's gonna say me," you groan. "Which is not even true but let’s just all move down there already, no more 20 questions."

"Just one more," she pouts. "Namjoon, do you like to dance?"

He looks down at you once he's also out the booth, that little amused smile back on his lips.

"Well, it's not really part of my day job, but I don't mind it too much."

"What's your day job," you blurt out.

"I'm a...musician."

"A musician!" Alexa rushes over to you to link arms. "Did you hear that? Namjoon’s a musician."

"I don't recognize you," Lia says and Hoseok and another one of his friends burst into quiet laughter behind her.

"You definitely won't find Joon’s pics anywhere, that's for sure," one of his friends says. The rest of them dissolve into another fit of giggles.

The club lights hide the muted pink tinge his cheeks take on, and Namjoon leads the way to the dance-floor with a chagrined roll of his eyes.

"You think he's really a musician?” You whisper to Alexa and Lia. Dani is somewhere up ahead, already dancing.

"Maybe technically. Going off the way his friends keep laughing, he's probably, like, a failed SoundCloud rapper or something."

"No failed SoundCloud rapper wears Gucci like that," Lia motions with her chin to some piece of Namjoon’s outfit.

"That's true," you hum.

"Rich parents," Alexa says simply.

You and Lia consider it and then nod.

As you settle on the dance floor, you feel the rest of your nerves drift away. Lia comes over to take a selfie with you, and the two of you flirt with the camera until she's satisfied with the photos you've taken. She grabs your hand and makes a show of spinning you around and you figure that this is how the night will go before you stumble out around 2 or 3am and drunk pack for the flight home the next morning. You let her lead you back, further into the crowd before you bump into someone.

Namjoon's large hand comes to stabilize you at your waist and Lia acts like nothing happened before dancing away, phone light illuminating her sneaky smile.

"You good?" Namjoon's voice is soft in your ear.

"Y-yeah."

"You wanna dance, or should I let you go?"

Your friends shamelessly all look at the way he curves himself around you, all with their thumbs up in encouragement. You're reminded of the way you did the same a few nights prior when Dani was getting hit on by some cute guy at a different club.

At that time it felt fun hyping her up and watching her make a move, seeing how enamored this random guy was with your friend. Of course he is, you thought at the time, she's amazing. And you remember that this is probably what's driving them tonight as well with you and Namjoon.

You chance a look at him and realize that he's come to rest his cheek lightly near your temple, a soft look in his gaze as he awaits your answer.

"Sure, let's dance."

Namjoon was telling the truth when he said he wasn't all that into dancing. But he put in enough work to be able to follow you and meet you halfway while you were grinding on him to the music.

Even when you shyly stepped away after the first few dances to return to your squealing friends, you loosened up over time with more music and drinks and found yourself naturally ending up on him again. The first few songs turned into more and more and soon you were face-to-face, with his thigh wedged between yours and a heavy palm on your lower back guiding you to the beat.

You're not sure when you decided to abandon your friends and his, but at some point you did return to the booth under the guise of checking your phones. And you did check your phone first. But soon he was crowding you toward the wall by the booth and leaving you with no air of your own.

"You're really leaving tomorrow," he sighed into a bruise he was trying to leave near the hollow of your throat. "Or did you just say that because I was some creep at a bar."

"I never thought you were a creep."

He looks down at you with disbelief before getting distracted by your kiss-swollen lips.

"I mean it. I'm just a little shy sometimes."

"What do you have to be shy about when you look like this, huh?"

"Stop," you laugh lightly and look away from him.

He'd made a comment earlier about how much he liked the pristine white two piece you wore, but you'd been inching his hand up your skirt then. Now, one of his thumbs rubs an idle pattern just below the curve of your breast.

"No, but seriously. Are you actually leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah. The new term starts for us all in a few days."

"So, leave in a few days," Namjoon whines.

"That's not enough time to get ready for the term."

"But I'll be so alone without you."

He gives you an exaggerated pout that splits into a real smile when you snort at his stupid expression. He pulls you to him just a smidgen tighter then.

"Does this usually work with other girls?"

"I don't know. Never tried it with other girls," he frowns a little at you.

"Sure."

"You know me and the team almost went to Club BigHit last Saturday?"

"Oh, really? That's kinda funny." You try to imagine what might have happened if he'd come to the same club you went to earlier.

"Yeah," Namjoon's voice grows quiet. "If I hadn't gotten sick then we would have met last week."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You sure you can't miss a few days of the term?"

"Yes, I'm sure." You let out an exasperated laugh. "You can't really be this upset that an actual stranger is just passing through your life."

"No, I know. I just—," he lets his head fall forward until he's touching his forehead to yours. "It was like something clicked when I saw you. I feel like I need more time with you."

"Oh," your voice comes out a little breathier than you expected.

The same look that had flashed across his face when you first came up to him finally gets to rest on his features. You want to let him down gently because you really can't play catch up during the first week of school.

"Tell you what. I can't miss the beginning of the term but if you make a song with my name in it and it gets...say, 50,000 listens, I'll buy a ticket that same day and come meet you. Wherever you are."

He pins you with a look then, inquisitive and dark. His eyes scan your open expression for something, before whatever he finds passes the test. He stands up tall.

"And it just needs to have 50,000 listens?"

In your mind you were thinking it would be too lofty for a failed SoundCloud rapper, but something in his tone sounds like he's rising to the challenge and it makes you nervous. You spent a lot on this vacation, you can't afford to actually fly out so soon if he somehow managed to get the listens and call your bluff. Besides, targets are off limits.

"Um, actually make that 150,000. And it has to have my area code in it too." You rattle off the three digits to him and he quickly types your conditions into the notes app on his phone.

"Is that it?"

"That's it, I guess."

"Deal."

Namjoon pockets his phone and leans back into your space. Any worries you had clawing to the forefront of your mind vanish when he presses soft lips to yours once more.

A month passes.

You don't end up having a one-night-stand with Namjoon because it wouldn't be fair to your friends when they'd clicked with a target but didn't take them home. That and because Dani got sick on the dance floor from mixing strawberry daiquiri with one too many pink drinks. But you do pass on your full number after he very nearly begs you to give it to him while packing into a cab.

And then he never used it.

It's not that you were expecting much, but when a month passes with not so much as word from him, you figure he forgot about you and your little bet.

Then 2 months pass.

Even though you know that you only spent a fraction of a day with him, you can't help thinking about Namjoon. Namjoon and his pretty eyes and pretty words that made you think there was some sort of connection there. You realize after the first two weeks back that you don't have his number but by the time 2 months pass, you realize that was definitely on purpose.

4 months pass.

You're over it, swamped with end of term work like finals and grading and putting in hours at work. But every time your friends suggest a little fun and hooking you up with someone, every time someone asked for your number at a coffee shop, you said no. Because you're over it and you're busy and not at all disappointed for how hard you fell for the lies some failed SoundCloud rapper fed you on a vacation one time.

19 weeks pass.

You're all in Lia's apartment, basking in the first few days of the end of classes even if it means finals are a few days later. Alexa is playing her favorite playlist on the speakers and you're taking a break to get some coffee going in the small kitchenette.

While the coffee machine starts up you wander back to the main room. Alexa is leaning over to turn the music up, one of her favorite songs just now coming up.

"Who's this again," Dani pipes up from her spot on the couch. "It's that one guy's collab with the Bulletproof Girlscouts, right?"

"Yep," Alexa checks the song title before sighing. "This song is so old now."

"True, but it's my favorite one on the whole album."

"I guess it really has been two years since his last album, huh." Dani muses and then goes back to her practice problem set.

You try not to laugh at how cute Alexa looks sulking because her favorite artist hasn't put out any music in so long.

"Why don't you just play his new stuff," Lia says.

"He's on indefinite hiatus. This is as new as it gets."

Lia picks up her own phone, showing it to the group.

"He released a new single this morning."

"What!"

Alexa scrambles from her seat to grab her headphones and jam them into her phone. You all know how she gets about her music and let her have a moment to soak up the new song while you get up to check on the coffee.

It takes a few minutes to get cups out and put everything together since everyone has different tastes, so you're in the middle of pouring creamer when you hear a chorus of screams.

"Why are we screaming?"

You rush into the main room again only to be bombarded with music from the speaker, this time turned up as high as it can go. What must be the new song comes through the speaker, the bass vibrating on the ground as the speaker pumps.

"Okay, yes, new song. It's good but I don't get—"

"Just listen to the fucking bridge," Dani's voice comes out incredibly shrill as she cuts you off.

The beat surges for the bridge and suddenly the lyrics turn into the artist growling about some girl he met at the club with the prettiest little white outfit he'd ever seen. Saying something that sounds oddly like your name, although you figure that can't be right. But then the next verse has your name in it too, and the next one, and the next one.

Your feet take you to where Alexa's phone is plugged in and you pick up the phone to look at the song. It's indeed a song by her favorite artist, a prolific and mysterious rapper who's never shown his face and who'd been on hiatus from making music. The song title is simple, a small string of numbers that look suspiciously like your area code.

When you let out a tiny gasp, your friends let out more excited shrieks. You ignore them in favor of thumbing through the music app to the artist's page where the new single lies at the top of his discography. To the right of all his songs are the stream counts. Most of his older songs have a few dozen million or so. This brand new one sits at a modest 4 million, but the numbers trickle up as the app updates them in real time.

"What the hell?"

"I know!" Alexa cries, tears shining in her eyes. "I can't believe we sat in a VIP booth with him and I didn't even recognize his stupid voice!"

"What are you gonna do," Dani smiles widely at your stunned face. "Are you gonna call him?"

"I don't have his number," you say simply. Your voice comes out monotone with shock.

"You didn't get his number?" Alexa starts crying for real.

"People are blowing my phone up about this," Lia says once the song ends and begins again on a loop. "You might want to turn off your phone. It's just a matter of time until people start snooping around."

"Right."

You grab your phone from your pocket. On instinct you scan through your socials one last time before turning it off. There's a startling number of texts, calls, emails, and notifications on your social media apps. Curiosity gets the best of you and you open up one of them only to find your name trending as the top hashtag. Clicking on it brings up a bunch of tweets both from fans raving about the new song and wondering who the muse is, to random accounts with identical names in the handle all claiming to be said muse.

"Oh my god, he tweeted!" Dani shoves her phone into your hands.

As of right now [2:38pm] we're at 5.76 million streams. That's more than 150,000...

"What does that mean," she asks you.

"It means...he wants me to fly out to see him. Today."

"Oh my god."

Alexa screams again and at this point you've lost count of how many that is. Lia gets out of her chair and tucks her chin over your shoulder to read the post herself.

"You need to go," Alexa shouts. "I'll help you pack, let's go."

"What about finals?"

"Are you—are you actually thinking of not going because of finals?"

"I mean—"

"If you want me die, just say that," she does something with her mouth that looks like a manic smile.

"What Lex means to say is that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm sure even the profs would understand."

You're not sure what to say. First of all, you still don't have his number. Second of all, you're not sure how to fight through all the other accounts claiming to be you to let him know you saw the song. Third, you don't even know where to fly to. Fourth—

A Twitter notification chimes from your phone and a deadly hush falls over everyone. You go to your DM inbox with shaking fingers only to find a message request from an unknown sender. When you open the request, it's from Namjoon's agency.

Good afternoon,

You are being contacted today because one of our artists wishes to meet you. If you consent to the meeting, please review the flight information and tentative itinerary below and respond with your address and contact information. Please also note that the travel plans are for today [MM/DD/YYYY], so your response at your earliest convenience would be much appreciated. If you would like to go but cannot make it today—

"Do you think they'll send a car or should I book her a ride to the airport now?" Dani turns to Alexa.

"They'll probably send one to make sure the schedule is followed."

"That's true but what about—"

Lia taps you on the shoulder, startling you out of your stupor.

"There's a convenience store two doors down. Whatever you buy we can put in one of my suitcases and you can just take that. There's probably not enough time to go all the way back to your place."

"I—yeah, okay."

7 hours later finds Alexa, Dani and Lia finished with studying for the night. The entertainment channel is playing on the TV and the three of them have their heads bent over their phones and laptops, refreshing all the major gossip sites for updates.

"Maybe she's not even there yet," Dani sighs when the page she just refreshed shows no new posts.

"Yeah, I mean we still don't even know where she is," Lia says while putting her laptop to sleep. "What if they made her sign an NDA?"

"Even if they did, she'd probably still tell us once she got there. She's probably just busy killing time on the plane."

"She's sleeping!" Alexa screams a second later.

"Huh? How do you know that?"

"Check his instagram," is all she says before frantically typing a message to you about souvenirs.

Lia looks over at Dani's phone as she pulls up Namjoon's page. The rest of the layout is bare given his up until recent hiatus and the fact that he never posted any type of selfie. The video uploaded a mere 20 seconds ago undoes all the previous minimalism of the entire account.

The post isn't even of Namjoon. It's a black and white 5 second video of the top half of your naked back and shoulders, the rest of your body covered by the sheets. One of your arms is raised to cover your head with a pillow. The only sign of Namjoon is the arm that reaches out from the bottom of the frame, making it clear that he took the video himself. His hand reaches out to trace a heart over the skin of your shoulder blade. The caption reads:

Thanks for keeping your promise

#networkbangtan #btscreatorscorner #hyunglinenetwork #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fluff #bangtan imagines #bangtan fanfic #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts scenarios #namjoon scenarios #namjoon fanfic #namjoon imagine

177 notes · View notes

satendou · 4 years ago

Text

⟼ if you can’t beat ‘em

⍣ clueless chemistry series | next

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ pairing: bokuto kotaro/f!reader/kuroo tetsuro

⇢ au: clueless chem!au, college!au, poly!au

⇢ summary: you and kuroo have it bad for each other, even though you’re dating bokuto. ignoring it for the sake of your relationships, it turns out bokuto isn’t as oblivious as you think.

⇥ masterlist

⇢ warnings: established relationship, polyamory, smut, double penetration in one hole, blowjobs, fingering, oral, unprotected sex

⇢ word count: 8k

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ a/n: idk how good this one actually is so we’ll see

The front door opened as you were putting three frozen pizzas in the oven, a deep, amused voice calling out a greeting to you. Your heart dropped from your chest to your stomach, almost dropping the pizza in your surprise.

“Back again? Just can’t stay away, can you?” Kuroo asked, dropping his bag with a muffled thump* by the door. You could hear the sound of his shoes hitting the floor as well, and then it seemed like he was suddenly behind you. “Bokuto home yet?”

“Hey, Kuroo. No,” you answered, trying to keep the nerves singing in your stomach at bay. Had you known he would be here before Bokuto, you might have opted to stick around for Bo’s practice instead. “He should be home soon though.”

As if to prove your point, both your phones dinged at the same time. Kuroo unlocked his first, reading Bokuto’s message in the group chat saying he would be home in ten.

“How were classes?” you asked as you checked your own texts. Bokuto had sent you a separate text full of heart emojis and an ‘eye love you’, to which you chuckled and typed back. There was a series of texts trying to determine meet up times for a group project in one of your classes, which you ignored for the time being. They would spend the next twelve hours trying to figure it out amongst themselves, so you had time. “The fuckin’ economy professor is killing me this semester.”

Kuroo laughed while you set the timer. His eyes lingered on the way your legs stretched out from underneath Bokuto’s old Fukurodani jersey before he winced.

The last thing he should be doing was eye-fucking his best friend’s girlfriend. He bit his lip and averted his eyes out the window, seriously considering all of his life choices, right down to the choice not to get a drink at the bar the night Bokuto met you.

Ugh, lucky bastard, he snarled in his head, but it was filled with amused aggravation at himself. Jealousy was unbecoming, especially when he was as envious of Bokuto as he was of you. What an awful friend he was. Up until the day Bokuto had met you, Kuroo had kept whatever feelings he’d had for Bokuto in check, refusing to linger or inspect them deeper than as a surface level platonic interest. He was afraid if he looked too closely at them, they would take root and flourish and then he would really be screwed.

But seeing the two of you together had really stuck in his craw and forced those dormant feelings to the forefront. At first, he hadn’t liked you because he was jealous. Yet, the longer he was forced to be in your presence and he saw how unbearably happy you made Bo, the more he just accepted that that was how things were meant to be. When he accepted that, it allowed him to start to get to know you.

And about that was around the time he realized he was actually, really, and truly fucked.

Turning back to you, he found you giving him a soft, pensive look that tugged at the fine strings holding his heart, which he chose to ignore for everyone’s sake. “Yeah, I had him last semester and it only gets worse. He’s gonna give you some insane project about halfway through the semester, so if you need help, let me know. I aced it, after all.”

You had quickly averted your eyes, cheeks flushing a light pink when he caught you staring, but you laughed into your hand. “Thanks, I appreciate that. Not gonna lie, I’m already kinda lost as it is. All the numbers and different...whatever. I need to really study if I’m gonna keep up, ugh.”

The offer to help was on the tip of his tongue when the door opened and Bokuto stumbled in, calling a raucous greeting, causing guilt to flood his system again. There was no reason to feel that way either, he was just going to offer you help, it wasn’t even an underhanded attempt to spend time alone with you, for fuck’s sake. Not that it wouldn’t be a perk but you were dating his best friend. He would reign in his urges for that if for no other reason.

Trying not to read too much into the way you scampered away from him, he watched you smile at Bokuto, who swept you up in a hug. The burning in his chest was a mix of affection and jealousy, and it left a bitter tang on his tongue as he looked away. The sun was mostly gone by that point, and the lights of Tokyo were starting to twinkle.

For a brief moment he considered going out to find somewhere else to be for the night. Watching the two of you simper over each other all night would be enough to make him puke, and yet he found himself parked on the opposite end of the couch from you, watching Fight Club. Just as expected, you were curled up against Bo’s chest while he told the two of you about practice and classes, and the gap between you and Kuroo felt like a canyon.

“Where’s ‘Kaashi?” you asked at last, when the clock struck ten. The pizza was long gone by then and you were settled into Bokuto’s chest, his hand warm on your back through the jersey you wore. It was abnormal for him to be so late getting home, and you narrowed your eyes at Bokuto’s smirk.

He snickered into his hand, grinning knowingly. It was oddly devilish coming from your light-hearted partner. It did strange things to you, sending chills down your spine, and you shifted closer to him. “He’s out on a study-date, but I don’t think he’ll be coming home tonight.”

Kuroo scoffed on your other side before snickering. “Since when are you so observant, Ko?”

“I’m a lot more observant than you might think, Tetsu.”

There was a strange, new edge to Bokuto’s voice when he answered, sending both of your hearts racing when you heard it. It set off something akin to alarm bells, and you and Kuroo looked at each other.

When you had first got together with Bokuto, you had been forthright with him. You liked him a lot, but you were someone who liked having multiple partners. Of course, Bokuto being Bokuto it hadn’t made a difference to him.

“Alright, cool. Not sure I’m interested, but thanks for letting me know. Now how ‘bout we go get some ice cream?”

At the time, you hadn’t believed he truly understood what you meant, but after a few more conversations and hints, he finally got the big picture. And still didn’t seem to care.

As he had said during that first conversation, he showed no interest in dating outside of you, and so it made you feel a bit guilty about going on any dates when he was almost single-mindedly devoted. Then again, it had taken you a decent while to get to the point where you wanted to date other people. Bokuto took up a lot of your time that wasn’t already taken up by classes and work. He was a ball of energy that left you no chance to even consider interest in anyone else.

Maybe that was why you had fallen for Kuroo. Besides Akaashi, he was the friend that you spent the most time with, but you didn’t care to date any of the other people you met.

No, that wasn’t right. You didn’t date them for long, if one date could be called dating. It was fine-- you weren’t looking for anything. Just, sometimes you would agree to coffee or dinner and then ghost or be ghosted after that.

You still couldn’t pinpoint when you had fallen for Kuroo, either. With Bokuto, you had taken an instant liking to him, with his loud vibrance and undying enthusiasm. His more or less blind optimism and kindness towards everyone didn’t hurt either.

Kuroo, on the other hand, had started out a bit...abrasive. You couldn’t tell what were jokes; he was constantly picking and teasing, and it grated on your nerves for a while. A few of your other friends called him a “master of provocation” and it sounded stupid but you could also see what they meant. He was certainly good at getting under your skin.

Which was why it surprised you when you saw him one day and felt the familiar stir of emotions, your eyes starting to linger on him longer and seek him out. His teasing became less annoying and more endearing, your laughter coming more easily in response to it. You would guess it was around that time that his gaze started lingering on you longer than was appropriate, and that you began to catch his eyes.

The longer it went on, the more you realized a lot of things about Kuroo. How he liked his coffee-- black if he had an early morning class, but with a lot creamer if he wasn’t going anywhere-- and that his teasing was interlaced with a lot of good advice and kindness-- you just had to know where to look. He was smart, top of the class in most if not all the science courses, funny, handsome, and kind. And the way Bokuto talked about him, like Kuroo was some kind of saint with a sarcastic streak, really didn’t help.

It really wasn’t much of a surprise when you considered all that. But he was one of Bokuto’s best friends, strictly off limits. You were definitely not about to go and ruin their friendship because you couldn’t control yourself.

You weren’t going to be that selfish.

Neither was Kuroo, even though he never said as much. It wasn’t something either of you had ever even considered bringing up amongst yourselves, beyond weighing the pros and cons of doing so.

Pros: maybe you realized it wasn’t a crush after all and you could settle into a friendship.

Cons: you fucked up big time.

Pretty simple answer.

But no matter how hard you tried to ignore the feelings and treat each other as friends, it wasn’t that simple.

“What do you mean, Ko?” Kuroo asked, quirking his eyebrow at Bokuto. There was a small smile toying at the corners of his lips, but his narrowed eyes belied his concern.

You admired his ability to sound so calm and collected when your heart was racing so fast in your chest you were lightheaded. The accusatory tone in Bokuto’s voice wasn’t even fair when you hadn’t even done anything--

You remained tucked into Bokuto’s side, head craned up to look into your partner’s face, but you couldn’t get a read on him. Usually he was so open, betraying every emotion he was feeling in a given moment, but besides the narrow, calculating look in his eyes, there was nothing.

“Ko?” you murmured, tentatively covering his hand with yours.

“Like you don’t know, Kuroo. I’ve seen the way you look at her,” Bokuto answered, slipping his hand out from under yours. You found yourself hoisted further up into his lap, planted sideways across his thighs, and your heart made its way into your throat. Tears burned your eyes as you looked at Kuroo, pleading with him to save this.

Kuroo looked right back at you, alarm evident in his eyes, before looking back up to Bokuto as he shook his head. “It isn’t like that, Ko. You know it isn’t. And she hasn’t-- we haven’t--”

So focused on Kuroo, you didn’t notice Bokuto’s arm sliding around your waist until it was pulling you back slightly, so that you were putting your weight on it. Bracing yourself on your leg wasn’t an option either because Bo had already hooked his other arm under your knee, pulling until you were splayed out before Kuroo, who had a sudden inkling this wasn’t going to go the way either of you expected.

Still, he kept his arms locked across his chest, legs crossed as he kept his eyes firmly on Bokuto’s unreadable yellow ones. He was actually a little concerned about how Bo was suddenly so good at that-- it made him uneasy, not being able to tell exactly what he was thinking. It had been years since Kuroo had learned all of Bokuto’s tells but he was seeing none whatsoever now.

“I know you haven’t, because I trust the both of you,” Bokuto responded, and finally looked down at you. His arm came out from under your knee so he could cradle your face, giving you the first soft smile you had seen since he had first started...whatever this was. It almost* eased the tightness in your chest, but you were still confused. Then he laughed, boisterous and full and loud and both you and Kuroo jumped a mile high. “Don’t worry, guys. I’m not mad. I mean, have you seen her? I’d be more concerned if you weren’t interested.”

You gaped like a fish and Kuroo’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, only making him laugh harder at the utter confusion all over both of your faces.

Kuroo was the first to recover, blinking wildly, and his concern for you was evident. “You mean you aren’t mad? We’ve never even talked about it let alone acted on it so I think we were both confused but--”

“Bro, Akaashi noticed ages ago how the two of you were acting and asked what was going on. Was super concerned but I told him it was cool and that we were open so I didn’t mind,” Bokuto explained, and his arm around you relaxed as he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. He smiled when you cuddled down into him, curling your knees up so that you were tucked close into his chest. “Sorry, baby. I just wanted to have a little fun.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled up and spilled down your cheeks, and Bokuto was quick to ramp up his apologies, swiping at the tears with his thumbs while Kuroo chuckled from his seat. When you looked up at him, his pretty yellow eyes were swimming with regret, but you weren’t quite ready to forgive him yet.

“The hell, Ko? I was really scared. I thought you were gonna-- gonna leave me or--” You hiccupped, hiding your face in his shirt. Fingers curling into his shirt, you wiped your eyes on his shoulder, feeling his large, warm hands rubbing your back. You weren’t sure what the or was, but it had something to do with cutting you and maybe even Kuroo out of the picture.

You were shaking against him and Bokuto was just starting to think he’d really fucked up when you pulled back and kissed him full on the mouth. He could feel your lips quirk up against his, taste the salt from your tears on his tongue, but then you were playfully smacking his chest while you huffed out a laugh.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he answered, glancing at Kuroo from the corner of his eyes. His friend was examining his perfectly filed nails with feigned disinterest, picking at nonexistent dirt underneath them, and he smirked. “Why didn’t you guys tell me about it, though? Or at least you, _____. You know I don’t mind.”

“Uh-- well--” you stuttered, and looked to Kuroo again. He looked mildly curious, and you realized he didn’t really know about yours and Bokuto’s arrangement either. Probably because Bokuto completely forgot to mention it, if you had to guess. Things like that slipped his mind often when they weren’t pressing. Sometimes even the important things did as well, but you couldn’t blame him. Much softer and a little shy, you continued, “He’s your friend, Ko. I didn’t want to do that. Especially to you and Kuroo.”

The corner of Kuroo’s mouth ticked up, affection for you flooding his system, and the soft look Bokuto gave you only made it worse. He wished he was on the receiving end of anything from either of you, but it wasn’t possible. But he was curious to know what you and Bo were talking about. You didn’t want to do what* that Ko didn’t care about? With him*?

But Bokuto was too busy showering you with affection to notice anything Kuroo was doing, so he contented himself to watch him whisper in your ear and listen to you giggle in return. Why he was still just sitting there was beyond him when he was suffering for it, wanting everything the two of you had. Jealousy flared in his ribs and spread down through his stomach, icy hot tendrils wrapping around his heart until he thought it might burst. He really was such an awful friend.

The couch shifted and you broke from Bokuto to look at Kuroo, who had stood up but was staring with fixed determination at the TV. The look on his face was twisting and turning, changing from anger to resignation to hurt and back again, as if he couldn’t figure out what he wanted to feel.

Scoffing at what was on the screen, he turned towards the hall. It was all well and good that the two of you could make up and move on, but the longer Kuroo sat and thought about it, the angrier he became at Bokuto’s ‘joke’. As if his feelings were just something to amuse him and he wasn’t about to sit here and be made fun of, but he wasn’t about to blow up on the two of you either. It wasn’t your fault he was...feeling like this.

Except it kind of was Bokuto’s but he wouldn’t understand.

“Where you goin’, Tetsu?” Bokuto asked, but his eyes were narrowed in amusement. Over the last few months of watching the two of you, he had learned more about Kuroo’s expressions and tells, things he had missed in the years that they had known each other. The way Kuroo’s eyes would narrow just before he said something he knew would tick someone off, the way his eyes would water just the tiniest bit before he told a joke he thought was hilarious, or how he would suck his lip in and nibble when he was holding his tongue on something-- which was rare-- were just a few.

He had also taken notice of the way he stared at not only you, but Bokuto himself. Now, Bokuto would be the first to admit that he wasn’t the most observant or the smartest, but he knew a wistful look when he saw one and he was the constant target of Kuroo’s. He was probably neck and neck with you, but he couldn’t be sure how much longer he’d been on the receiving end. When he asked Akaashi about it, he had only shrugged, commenting, “Maybe he likes you too. Have you thought of that?”

The answer was no, no he hadn’t. But that had started some weird gears turning in Bokuto’s volleyball addled brain and sooner rather than later he wondered if he hadn’t developed feelings for Kuroo in return. It wasn’t like he was oblivious to how attractive his friend was, but in Bokuto’s mind it didn’t work that way. He liked what he liked and Kuroo had been around for so long that he never thought about how deep his feelings might run. He was just such a constant in his life that it didn’t occur to him there might be more to it, not like when he had met you. His feelings for you were instantly recognizable, but the more he delved into watching Kuroo, the more he realized those same feelings applied.

It was all very confusing to Bokuto, who usually just lived by a run and gun mentality, and tonight he was shooting his shot.

Right now Kuroo was biting his tongue so hard Bokuto was sure it was bleeding inside his mouth, and he laughed again, his answer short and bitten out. “Just going to go to bed. It’s getting too lovey-dovey in here for my tastes.”

Your heart thumped painfully in your chest, knowing that Kuroo was hurting. None of this was fair to him, but what could you do? It wasn’t like it was fair to you either, nor was it fair to Bokuto. You had made your choice-- you loved Bo and that was all there was to it. “Kuroo, I’m sorry.”

Your words caused him to falter, soft and unbearably sweet. It took everything he had to stop himself from turning around because seeing you would just make it that much harder. Sighing, he said quietly, “It isn’t your fault, _____. None of this is anyone’s fault. Except maybe Bokuto’s for bringing you around.”

He snickered at the offended squawk that left his friend who, unbeknownst to him, leaned down and whispered something into your ear.

Your eyes widened in surprise and shock, and you couldn’t find it in you to ask if he meant it, so you just stared up at him without blinking. Was he being serious?

Bo smirked at the look on your face-- it was one he would never get tired of seeing, when he surprised you by telling you something you weren’t expecting and he was very good at it-- and nodded. Helping you to stand, he patted your butt to get you moving when you just stood there for another moment, still staring at him. He was sure you were expecting a trick but if you didn’t get a move on Kuroo was going to leave and make things a lot harder.

Walking as quietly as you could and avoiding that one creaky spot by the corner of the coffee table, you came up behind Kuroo, who was just hovering in the middle of the archway. He jumped when your hand came to rest on his back, but followed your persistent tugging for him to turn around. He was several inches taller than you, which made it a bit awkward, but when he was finally facing you you looped your arms around his neck and stared up at him.

He took in your wide, nervous eyes and the way your shoulders rose and fell far too fast, then looked over your head at Bokuto. He was splayed out and relaxed on the couch watching with a smirk on his face. Kuroo would swear there was lust in those golden eyes, like he was waiting for them to put on a show.

The smirk issued a challenge and posed a question, slowly sliding down to you. Kuroo set his hands on your hips and Bokuto nodded, eyes widening the slightest bit and Kuroo groaned low in his throat. The hell was he thinking? Was he actually offering you? For that matter, were you going along with it?

When he looked down to you, his breath was literally knocked out of him at the open, hopeful look in your eyes. You were so achingly beautiful to him, need and desire shimmering in the depths of that hope. He caved with little resistance, slotting his lips against yours sloppily. You whined, standing on your toes, tangling your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. It was as soft as you had always imagined, though your fingers did get tangled in the strands. He tasted soft and sweet, his tongue gliding against yours as if savoring every second of the kiss. He was a lot gentler than you expected of him, pulling you flush against his body as his mouth moved against yours.

“Holy shit,” Bokuto whispered, drawing you both from the moment. When Kuroo pulled away to look at him, there was definitely arousal pooling in his eyes, and he shifted in his seat. Catching Kuroo looking at him, a smug grin flitted across his face, then he looked at you.

You were still staring up at Kuroo with half-lidded eyes, lips parted and a need for more written clearly on your face. Before he could give in to your begging, Bokuto called for you.

It took you a moment to register, then you were pulling away to go to Bo, stumbling a little on your way and they were both concerned until he took your hand in his. His pretty face had finally lightened up into something you were used to, open and expressive and needy. His rough hands caressed the outside of your thighs, making you squirm with desire. You needed more.

“What’s wrong, princess?” Bokuto asked, catching Kuroo’s eye behind you. Inclining his head in invitation, he watched Kuroo shake his head in confusion. It made him feel a bit bad-- he had never seen Kuroo like this before, so torn up over something, but he was equally amused. He just loved surprising people. To you, he asked, “You need something?”

You flushed red from the tips of your ears all the way down to your chest, twisting the hem of your shirt in your fingers, and shook your head.

“No? Nothing’s wrong?” Bokuto teased, easing your fingers up from their death grip. He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the tip of each finger. You were biting your lip and looking to the side, tension resting in your shoulders. When he had told you to go kiss Kuroo, the look on your face and in your eyes had been adorable, the sight of the two of you stirring something he hadn’t expected.

It had never been in his interests to have more than one partner, especially because relationships weren’t high on his list of priorities in the first place. You had come into his life like a bright flash of sunlight through the gap in a curtain, blinding him. There had been no hesitation in his pursuit of you, though it wasn’t much of a chase since you had agreed to a date right off the bat. It had been easy with you, for the most part, because he had never lied to you about how important volleyball was to him. After a few months, it became a rhythm to meet up after practice whenever you could, and you made it a point to be there for his games. Sometimes he felt guilty, that he was neglecting you, but whenever he brought it up you would sit him down and promise him you understood.

He was undoubtedly grateful for your support, no matter how fanatical he got about his passion, and it was one of the reasons he didn’t say anything about it when you brought up dating people besides himself. The way you explained it made sense to him-- but your needs were more complex than his, he had to admit. He felt no burden* from your need for attention, but if you needed more than he could give you, he would let you go.

But you stuck around, and that was more than he could have hoped for given how busy he was. It seemed he might have the solution now, if you and Kuroo wanted it.

“Kotaro, what is all this about?” Kuroo asked, cutting into Bokuto’s pondering. First name use, huh? He was catching on.

Bokuto smiled at him, happy and light and manipulative, causing Kuroo to sigh. If he was right, then he was going to get his number one wish of the last six months. A part of him was almost scared to find out what would come of it, but the other, louder part of him hardened in his slacks.

Bokuto snickered and urged you to turn around, preening when you did so willingly. Your head was still swimming with trepidation, your heart racing with hope and exhilaration. Kuroo seemed to have a better grasp of whatever Bokuto was getting at than you did, but it wasn’t hard to gather how far he was planning to let this go. His hands were warm on your thighs, sliding up, up, up, underneath his jersey that hung two times too large on your body.

Kuroo gulped, you could see his Adam’s apple bob in his slender throat as inch after inch of bare skin was revealed, and he took it all in with a hungry stare. He wasn’t even pretending he wasn’t interested, not now that Bokuto had all but spoken his consent.

You trusted him enough in that, and you had no interest in stopping him either.

There was an audible intake of breath from Kuroo when you took over pulling the shirt over your head. It hit the floor with a whisper of sound, easily obscured by the low groan emanating from Kuroo.

How many times had he pictured you like this, naked and so fucking willing for him, only to be flooded with shame immediately afterwards? Looking down at him as you rode him or up at him as you sucked his cock, lips stretched around him-- in any scenario you were fucked out and drooling, begging him for more.

There was no shame this time as he stared at you while Bokuto peeked over your shoulder wearing a smug expression that would have pissed Kuroo off in another situation. As it was, Kuroo was just itching to run his fingers all over your supple skin, leaving marks that would remind you of him come the morning. When Bokuto’s fingers started to toy with the waistband of the too short shorts you still wore, he took a step forward, but Bokuto stilled and shook his head.

“Ah, ah, not yet, Tetsu,” he said, and began to slide the fabric down. Your panties peeled away and both men could see the wetness on your folds before you began to rub your thighs together, but Bokuto wasn’t having that. “I want you to watch for a bit.”

He yanked you down into his lap, eliciting a panicked squeak, falling into his chest with your legs spread on either side of his. The silky fabric of his shorts did nothing to hide the erection grinding against your ass and you gasped.

Kuroo relaxed, trying to appear nonchalant as he leaned against the wall, but his eyes were sharp and focused on the way Bokuto’s fingers skimmed up your inner thighs all the way to your core, spreading your slick lips. “Since when are you such a tease, Ko?”

Bokuto gave his signature smirk, just one side of his mouth turning up as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “I’ve learned some things, Tetsu. Enjoying the view?” You squirmed with embarrassment in his hold, head turned to the side but it did nothing to hide the red flush on your cheeks. You were leaking all over his shorts as his thumb found your clit, swiping over it and you mewled. His other hand came up to cup one lush tit, tweaking your pretty nipple, and you clenched around nothing.

Kuroo could see the way your hole twitched, spread as it was by Bokuto’s fingers, slick dripping down the curve of your ass. He had to fight to resist the urge to palm himself, just to relieve something, and he swallowed thickly. Yes, yes he damn well was enjoying the view, and when one of Bokuto’s thick fingers slid into you, he moaned with need.

You jerked in his hold, eyes locked on Kuroo, who looked like he was going to collapse at any moment. His eyes were bright with arousal, the tent in his pants obvious though he tried to appear calm. It looked painful, but with Bokuto’s finger curling inside you while his thumb toyed with your clit, you weren’t in any position to help.

“Feel good, princess? Want another one?” Bokuto asked, snickering when you nodded mutely. The slick noises your hole was making filled the room, your head on the verge of falling back onto his shoulder, hips rocking ever so with his thrusts. When another finger was added you moaned, eyes fluttering closed and legs trying to squeeze closed around his. His lips blazed a trail up the side of your neck to underneath your jaw, teeth nipping sharply as he listened to you. “Tetsu, how does she look?”

“Breathtaking.”

The word tumbled out without thought, unable to look away from you. Though his cheeks flushed he absolutely meant it and he watched your head snap up to look at him with wide eyes. He was almost afraid he was dreaming, watching Bokuto pump his fingers in and out of you while you squirmed in his lap. Your eyes were glazed and needy, lips parted in a silent ‘o’ when he curled them up just right, your nails digging into his forearm in a white-knuckle grip.

You whined when Bokuto pulled his fingers out of you, covered in your slick, lifting them to your lips. Bokuto perked up when Kuroo moaned, pinning him with an amused stare while your lips wrapped around them, lapping and sucking the taste of yourself.

“Want him to taste you, pretty girl?” he asked, loud enough that Kuroo could hear just to watch him perk up. There was no hesitation when you nodded, reaching out to him and he went in an instant, falling to his knees before you.

He grabbed you by the knees and pulled you down further, slinging your knees over his shoulder as he dove in. His tongue lapped at your outer lips to tease, your thighs tightening around his head every time he came close to your clit only to miss. When he looked up, your head was back on Bokuto’s shoulder, tits being fondled by your partner as he watched Kuroo eat you.

He groaned, drinking in the taste of you and when one finger teased your entrance, you spasmed, jerking your hips up seeking more.

“Tetsu, please,” you whined, reaching one hand up into Bo’s hair while tangling the fingers of your other in Kuroo’s, urging him forward, and who was he to deny you when you asked oh so nicely?

Wrapping his lips around your neglected clit, he sunk in, moaning at just how fucking wet you were. You parted so easily for him that he dipped a second in and you squeezed his head between your thighs, moaning his name again.

“Fuck,” Bo whispered, voice hoarse as he watched Kuroo eat you out. He let go of your breasts to grip beneath your knees, holding you open and Kuroo glanced up, catching the way Bokuto stared with undisguised desire. “Why did we not do this sooner?”

Pulling back, he let loose a smug grin, his thumb replacing his lips around your clit. “Didn’t take you for a voyeur, Ko,” he said, thrusting his fingers up and grazing the soft spot inside you.

“I wasn’t until just now,” he muttered, holding your trembling legs tighter. Your fingers were tugging at his hair harder, so he knew you were close, your juices leaking all over Kuroo’s hand and filling his ears with slick noises.

You gasped, feeling the coil tighten, ready to break and you let them know, eyes fluttering shut as you rocked your hips into his fingers. “Please, Tetsu, please, I wanna cum--”

“Then cum, pretty girl,” he growled, circling your clit harder. He could feel you fluttering around them, squeezing tight and your lips parted, a moan ripping out of you as heat washed through you, legs fighting against Bokuto’s hold. Kuroo kept it up as you cried out, riding you through it until you relaxed into Bo’s chest, panting. “Fuck, I knew you’d cum so pretty, kitten,” he rasped, pulling his fingers from you.

Before he could lick your essence off of them, Bo grabbed his hand, drawing it slowly towards his mouth. Their eyes locked and you watched as Bo hesitated for a split second before drawing them between his lips, lapping at the pads of his fingers and further.

“Holy shit,” Kuroo whispered, eyes wide at the sight of his best friend swallowing his fingers. The look in his eyes made his cock twitch with want, imagining them wrapped around his thick shaft, lapping and sucking. Unable to handle it, he ripped his fingers away, carding them through his hair as he asked, “Can I-- Can I kiss you, Ko?”

Bokuto hummed, eyes thoughtful as he cupped his chin. Kuroo could tell he was teasing and quirked a brow at this new side to his friend.

“I’ve never kissed a dude before. Never really wanted to either,” Bokuto admitted, though he didn’t look or sound ashamed. In fact, he sounded curious, and Kuroo smirked.

“Not much different than kissing _____, though you might like it more,” he teased, guiding Bo’s head to hover just beneath his lips, caging you between the two of them. He waited, letting him make the decision and with his usual tenacity, he dove right in, sweeping his tongue across the seam of Kuroo’s lips. They parted and he was overwhelmed by the aftertaste of energy drinks and cherry chapstick. He had always imagined kissing Bo would be an experience, especially with how many times he had watched him makeout with you, but it was entirely different now. Kissing Bo felt like he was drowning in him, leaning in for more even though he wasn’t holding anything back.

When they pulled apart, Kuroo was panting, pupils blown wide. He followed after Bo, wanting more, but was stopped by a hand on his cheek.

“I didn’t know you were so needy,” Bokuto said, and it was impossible to ignore the deep timbre giving away how affected he was. “I say we continue this in the bedroom, hm?” He looked down at you, and you nodded, still looking a little fuzzy from watching them kiss. “Good, let’s go.”

Kuroo helped you to your feet, drinking in the sight of you proudly naked, while Bo took your other hand. He pulled off his shirt as soon as your bedroom door was shut behind Kuroo, who almost choked at the sight. Bo was built like a Greek god, all bulky muscle; he couldn’t even think about moving without flexing.

He felt fingers on the hem of his own shirt and looked down to find you tugging at it, and he let you pull it up and over his head, stooping down just so you could. Bokuto had already kicked his shorts off towards the laundry basket, missing by a mile while you undid the button of his pants. His cock throbbed when your fingers grazed over it as you pulled them and his boxers down, falling to your knees while they pooled at his ankles.

A loud moan ripped from him when your hand gripped his base with your soft hand, head thumping back into the door. You started with light touches, nuzzling and kissing his cock like you were worshipping it and, when his eyes finally opened again, he found Bo staring, licking his lips. His hand was around his own cock, pumping slowly as he watched you take Kuroo into your mouth at last, and then he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

His fingers tangled in your hair, just holding it back as you bobbed up and down his length, tongue tracing the vein and swirling around the head, not really giving him enough to cum but damn if it didn’t feel good. When he looked down at you again finally, he found you staring up at him, eyes bright and teary, and then Bo’s hands were on your cheeks, pulling you off of him.

“‘M startin’ to feel a little jealous, babe,” he whined, though Kuroo could detect no hint of it in his voice. If anything, he sounded antsy as he pulled you to your feet and kissed you, delving his tongue between your lips. Backing you into Kuroo, he hooked his arms underneath your knees and Kuroo took the hint, helping him lift you up so that your legs were spread wide, Bo’s length sliding against your wet slit. You weighed nothing to him and he often liked to use his strength to trap you, bouncing you on his cock at his whim. This time was no different, your whines music to their ears as he prodded at your slick hole.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to try,” he grunted as he filled you, splitting you around his thick head. You were so tight, sucking him in and mewling in his ear for more, tugging at his hair as he seated himself fully inside of you. Kuroo watched the whole thing with a slack jaw, touching his cock just to ease the ache of watching you beg for Bokuto’s cock. “Think you could take both of us, baby?”

The noise of agreement you made went straight to Kuroo’s cock, his hand suddenly not enough for him. When you turned to look at him, yanked your head back by the hair and slammed his lips against yours. Breathless, he asked, “Are you sure? You don’t have to, we can wait--”

You cut him with a whiny plea against his lips. “Yes, yes, Tetsu, I want you both to fuck me.”

Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined this outcome, but as your cunt stretched around him, whining and clawing at Bokuto’s shoulders as you let him in too, it was his new favorite fantasy.

“Fuck,” he groaned when his hips met yours. You were crying, pussy fluttering around them at the fantastic stretch, and he stilled inside to let you get used to the feeling. You were limp between them, your head resting on Kuroo’s shoulder while they held you up. “So tight, princess, shit.”

You knew he had a filthy mouth, but hearing him now while he praised you made you whine, and Bokuto snickered.

“She just loves being told how good she feels, how pretty she is when she’s being fucked. She’ll do anything if you do, won’t you, baby?” he said. His hips began to rock, testing if you were ready, and your mouth opened in a silent cry when the crown of his cock ground past that sweet spot inside you. He couldn’t have missed it if he tried, and when he pushed back in, Kuroo pulled out.

They set up a steady rhythm, pounding into you so you were never empty, sometimes pushing back in at the same time just to hear you cry out. You could only let them use you as they wanted, nails perpetually digging into Bokuto’s broad shoulders and a litany of cries and moans fleeing your lips.

The heat was building up in your stomach and every time Bo’s hips met yours, he ground into your clit, forcing his cock just a little bit further. His fingers had a death grip on your ass, squeezing and kneading the flesh like Kuroo was doing to your tits, plucking and pulling your hard nipples as he whispered how good you felt into your ear.

“Ko, please-- Tetsu, I’m gonna--” you cried, tightening your thighs around Bokuto’s hips but you only spurred them on further, their hips slamming into yours at a faster pace. Your back locked, forcing your tits out and Bokuto’s eyes locked on the way they bounced, licking his lips.

“Come on,” he grunted, using some of his brute strength to make you bounce, your breasts jiggling with each hard thrust. When Kuroo’s hand slid down your ribs and over your stomach, your breathing hitched, the coil wound so tight it was painful. It snapped when his fingers grazed your clit at the same time they buried inside you.

You clapped your hand over your mouth to hold in the scream, hips jerking and twitching in their hold as Kuroo continued to assault your clit. He pulled out of you, leaving his cock achingly hard but it was worth it to see you ravaged by Bokuto’s insane pace when he set your back to the wall, your toes curled as he pounded into your overstimulated pussy. You were crying again, wailing his name until he stilled inside you with a grunt, massive frame curled down over yours as he spilled inside your cunt.

Panting, he pulled back to see Kuroo working his hand up and down his shaft, using your slick as lube with his lip pulled between his teeth as he watched you.

“Think you can take care of him still, baby?” Bokuto asked, setting you on your feet.

You nodded, falling to your knees-- your legs weren’t going to hold you up anyway-- and beckoned Kuroo over to you. He stumbled in his haste to get to you, resting his arms against the wall above your head as you swallowed his cock in one fluid motion.

You were making the most obscene noises as you choked, working him down into your throat as fast as you could without hurting yourself, and Kuroo watched it all with wide, needy eyes. The sight of your nose burying in his curls was what did it, and he choked out a curse as he came down your throat. You swallowed around him and he thought he might lose his mind, gathering your hair up to hold you down until he was spent.

Helping you to your feet, the three of you stood there for several moments gathering your breath, staring at each other with amused wonder.

“Well, that was fun,” Bokuto said, the first to recover. He looked far too self-satisfied for Kuroo’s liking.

You snorted in amusement, limping over to your drawer to pull out another shirt, since the one you had been wearing was still out in the living room. You were in desperate need of a shower and sleep, and you had to hurry before Bo got a second wind.

“So what now?” Kuroo asked, watching you with a raised brow. There was smug pride in his smirk and it must have shown because you turned to glare at him.

“Dunno, what do you want?” Bokuto asked, sliding his boxers back on. He fully intended to join you in the shower, so he fetched a fresh pair from his own drawer, giving you a cheeky grin when you made a face. “If you want a relationship, I’m down.”

They both looked to you then, and you rolled your eyes. “I’ve liked Kuroo for ages, so you don’t even have to ask me.”

“Then it’s settled,” Bokuto said, clapping his hands. “Besides, I like the idea of her not being lonely, since I’m so busy with volleyball and all. And I know I can trust the two of you together.”

He said it with such confidence that both of you were filled with warm affection and happiness, knowing that he believed you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. And you wouldn’t-- you both loved him too much.

“Alright, shower and then bed. I’m exhausted,” you said, punctuating it with yawn. You stretched your arms over your head and heard an intake of air and, when you opened your eyes, you found them both wearing predatory expressions. “No, no no no. I am sore and tired and--”

“Awe, just one more,” Bokuto said, voice cajoling, and Kuroo nodded in agreement, following Bo as he crowded you against the dresser.

“I have class in the morning, I won’t be able to walk,” you whined, even as you let them pull your shirt back off. It hit the floor and was promptly forgotten as fingers danced up your thighs and over your ribs, more prodding your already abused hole still dripping cum.

Kuroo snickered, his fingers sliding into your pussy again and you shuddered against him, still sensitive. “Ko can carry you, it’ll be fine*.”

“Oh fuck me,” you whined when Bo’s lips latched onto your nipple, and you tugged at his hair in a futile gesture. You were already gone and everyone knew it.

“That’s the plan, princess.”

⇥ masterlist

⇥ taglist: @sluttony, @visaintes, @yunhosblackgf, @super-noya, @byebyes-world, @newfriendjen

#bokuto x reader #kuroo x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #kotaro bokuto x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #tetsuro kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #.ifyoucan'tbeatem

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obiwanobi · 4 years ago

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Ok ok but Clem, hear me, I need to share my personal Obi-Wan gets out release some steam in the lower levels of Coruscant but instead of stripping or raving at club, he gets into clandestine fistfights. He just goes all fight club on who wants to get punched in the face. Once, Anakin follows him in secret and find him his nose bloody, bare torso glistening with oil like a gladiator and dozens of fans screaming his (fake) name. He whites out instantely.

THIS IS WHY I’M HERE FOR I wanted to write like 2 paragraphs but then I got really into it, so here’s Anakin going from “time to laugh at my boring old master who I’m definitely not obsessed with” to “ANYWAY denial time’s over, I need him to pin me to the ground in front of everyone immediately”:

It takes fifteen minutes after landing on Coruscant for Anakin to decide that it’s time to bother Obi-Wan. For once, it’s not a decision on a whim, despite the carefree way he announces it to Rex before leaving his troops and ship in the hangar. The Force guides him through the halls and corridors toward the warm and familiar presence of his former master, but Anakin isn’t surprised to feel him preoccupied.

Obi-Wan has been stuck in the Temple for the past four months.

Because of some careless planning, he was unlucky enough to be on Coruscant when Yoda realised that he was the only council member not currently swamped in various missions off-world. Since it was an unspoken rule that at least a few Council members should always be at the Temple, Obi-Wan has been asked to put his missions in the field on hold, and dedicate his time to represent the Council, until more of its members come back.

Since then, Anakin has only seen him through holotransmitters for official briefings and reports. The artificial blue lights haven’t hidden the creases between his eyebrows and the twitch of his hands when Anakin raised the topic of his time away from the front, telling him all he needed to know about how Obi-Wan felt about being stranded on Coruscant to do paperwork all day or act as the face of the Jedi Order in the Senate.

Now that he can finally see him in the flesh, it feels natural to seek out Obi-Wan, poke at his poor master and laugh at his concealed misery. There was no doubt that Obi-Wan always brilliantly plays the role of a calm and serene Jedi Master, but Anakin hasn’t spent more than ten years around him without catching on the fact that at heart, he’s still a man of actions who needs some excitement and tangible problems to solve before he grows bored.

Anakin isn’t surprised to find him in the middle of various maps, datapad in hand and pointing something on a holotable at another Jedi. What does surprise him, after a few minutes of waiting for them to be done and the Jedi to go away, is that Obi-Wan is not putting any weight on his left leg. It’s the most subtle of change, probably undetectable to anyone else but someone who has spent so much time watching the way Obi-Wan walks and moves and carries himself. But it’s there.

“Oh, that?” Obi-Wan says almost like he hasn’t noticed, after Anakin didn’t even bother with a ‘hello’. “A knight asked me for some hand-to-hand training sessions. Since I’m to stay at the Temple for an indefinite period of time, I can at least be useful to others. He didn’t go easy on your old master, that’s for sure,” he quietly laughs, and Anakin will be annoyed at himself later for not noticing the clear bait.

But for now, it’s the perfect opportunity to make fun of him, saying that old men like him should pay more attention to their health, and “be careful Obi-Wan, you’re already part of the Council and drink your tisane before going to bed at 2200, you can’t be going around holding your back and complaining about young people or I’ll start mistaking you with Master Yoda!”

A datapad comes flying at his head and it only makes him laugh harder.

Anakin starts to become suspicious two weeks later.

He arrives in the middle of the night from an exhausting mission in the inmost depths of the mid-rim, and his feet take him directly to Obi-Wan’s quarters. it’s closer than his anyway, and he knows Obi-Wan keeps his old room just the way he left it. If he’s being honest, he should also admit that he spends half of his time there instead of his own quarters. It’s just a question of being used to it, he thinks as he lets himself fall on his old bed. And here at least, he knows he will find the bed made and a cup fo caf waiting for him in the morning. Plus, there is nothing more comforting than the feeling of slipping between fresh sheets and the smell of the familiar citrus detergent, unchanged since his childhood. He should really ask Obi-Wan which one he uses.

When he opens the fresher’s door the next morning to brush his teeth, he barely notices that Obi-Wan is already taking a shower, complaining about sacred personal space and unruly boys who never learnt common courtesy like not leaving their muddy boots in the living room or barging in occupied freshers behind the curtain. Nothing out of the ordinary, until Obi-Wan comes out with a towel high on his hips, but not high enough to hide the large bacta patch on his back and shoulder.

“Wha-” Anakin tries to ask between toothbrush and toothpaste, but Obi-Wan is already out of the room, and even outside their quarters with a hurried goodbye when Anakin finishes brushing his teeth.

Anakin starts to get annoyed when he comes back from Corellia a week later and Madame Nu catches him near the entrance of the library.

“Please come get your master,” she sighs with a hand grabbing his arm, already dragging him in with unexpected strength. “I don’t know what he’s trying to do, but this is getting ridiculous.”

The ‘not my master anymore’ is still on his tongue when she makes an exasperated sign to a corner of the library where he finds Obi-Wan seated at a table, chin on his hand and head bowed toward a screen.

Snoring.

Anakin barely contains his giggle long enough to take a holo and send it to Ahsoka. He takes another one then, closer, focusing on the way the late afternoon sun catches his hair, his beard and his lashes, enfolding Obi-Wan in its warm golden light. Focusing on his peaceful expression.

He saves this one for himself.

Reluctant to disturb him, he allows himself a few more minutes of fondness and gentle affection in front of the scene before putting his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and shaking it gently. The wince and sudden jerk he gets as a result surprise him, before he remembers the flash of a bacta patch in the fresher a week ago.

“'N’kin? You’re already back?” Obi-wan mumbles, straightening himself with difficulty on his chair.

“Yes, just arrived a few minutes ago.”

“What are you doing in the library?” He asks in a light tone. Something cracks, and his hand makes an aborted move toward his shoulder before thinking better of it. “I thought you would only come back this far in the economy section under death threats.”

This time, Anakin doesn’t take the bait.

“You’re still hurt. Are you going to tell me which knight beat you up and apparently kept you up all night?”

The words have barely left his mouth when he realises the double meaning of his question and there are suddenly a dozen images in his mind and- No no no, it can’t be- Obi-Wan would never... Well, he would. But not this way, not the- Hand-to-hand training? With another knight? Every time Anakin leaves for a certain period of time, when no one will notice if Anakin’s not here? Being so tired that he’s sleeping in the middle of the library? The bacta patch? To get this, that would have- Oh, that would be a sight to- NO, no, this is definitely not it, Anakin has to believe it, or he will lose his mind right there.

“A knight?” Obi-Wan asks, apparently still too drowsy to sense Anakin’s inner meltdown. He stretches his arms, and Anakin grows even more confused when he realises that his knuckles are scraped. “What are you talking about?”

“The- The one you’re training?”

Something passes in Obi-Wan’s eyes and he puts his hands in his sleeves just a little too quickly to look natural.

“Ah, yes, the knight. Yes, he- we, we’re still having sessions now and then. Good to stay in shape, you know. Now, since you’re back, what do you say about dinner? I’m paying for Dex’s takeout if you go get it.”

Anakin doesn’t feel focused enough to harass him about his flimsy explanation or tease him about taking a nap in the library. There are way too many incriminating images in his mind he needs to get rid of first.

The next time he comes back to the Temple after a few days trapped in negotiations with neutral planets, he doesn’t comm anyone and is careful not to let Obi-Wan knows he’s here. He sends R2 and one of his droid pal to stand close to Obi-Wan’s door, and then, he waits. No one pays attention to droids, and most people forget that they have cameras that can be turned on at any point in time, if you ask nicely. It doesn’t take long. At 2240, R2 sends an alert to his comm. He gets his robe, shields himself heavily in the Force, and starts following Obi-Wan.

Anakin really, really doesn’t expect his former master, his “remember that wherever you go, you represent the whole Jedi Order, Anakin, so act accordingly” master, to make his way to the bars and clubs district of the lower levels through hidden shortcuts, bypass cameras and security officers like he’s done it all his life, and knocks at a durasteel door full of graffitis in a language Anakin can’t read.

Definitely not meeting a Jedi knight for regular hand-to-hand training.

Under his hood, Obi-Wan nods at the Twi’lek who opens the door for him. Anakin lets a few minutes pass before making his way to it. It takes him a heavy mind suggestion to get her to let him in, and when he walks through the door, his heart suddenly starts beating faster in anticipation of what shameful secret he’s going to find.

The thought of seeing Obi-Wan sprawled on a couch of a hidden club with a harem of girls around him crosses his mind, and it twists something he usually tries to ignore in his stomach. It’s not Obi-Wan’s style, it’s so far from everything he knows about his master, but his mind won’t stop entertaining the most insane possibilities of what he does when he’s stuck without Anakin at the Temple and bored by meaningless paperwork. He wouldn’t have imagined Obi-Wan doing anything else but meditate to release tension, but here he is, in the worst part of the whole planet. So what’s next to come?

His throat is already dry, but it’s even harder to swallow when he imagines Obi-Wan letting himself be lead to a private alcove by one of these imaginary girls.

Or boys.

Anakin suddenly thinks that there is no way he’s going to handle this whole thing well. Whatever he will find will make the effect of betrayal, and he’s not certain why. But Anakin is also convinced that he will be restless and unable to sleep for the rest of his life if he doesn’t get answers. He needs to see, to understand, to know everything about Obi-Wan, even the things he apparently doesn’t want to share. It’s selfish and unkind to his master who has always made a point of respecting his privacy and was probably way too lenient with him during his apprenticeship. He knows that. Now that Anakin has a padawan of his own, he’s fully conscious about all the things Obi-Wan let him get away with for years. He knows.

But there is something about him that Anakin can’t let go, will probably never be able to let go, that makes Anakin greedy. Demanding. Needy. A poor example of a Jedi that his master would be ashamed of, especially for being the source of it.

Anakin refuses to think about it for too long.

The arena is a distracting surprise.

All of a sudden, he’s pushed in the middle of a crowd, unbalanced by the music, the loud cheers, the flashing lights, the Togruta yelling into a mic, the bell ringing and the thunderous applause all around. No one pays attention to him, way too engrossed in what’s happening in the centre of all this agitation, a few meters down from Anakin’s position.

Nothing could have prepared him for watching the two fighters in the centre of the arena.

One of the men, the largest one, is face down on the red sand, clearly defeated for the night. Anakin barely notices him, because above him, rubbing his knuckles against his bloody nose before raising it in a universal sign of victory, is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Polite, well-mannered Obi-Wan, who once lectured Anakin for ten minutes because he walked on a nice carpet with his boots on, is now bare-chested in front of a rowdy crowd roaring at him- no, for him. He’s sweating, cheeks, knees and hands covered in sand and exhibiting massive bruises on his ribs and his shoulder. The wide smile on his face says enough about what he thinks about it.

When Anakin thinks that he will never truly recover all parts of his brain from seeing Obi-Wan’s muscles gleaming with oil and sweat under the artificial lights, he realises that people are chanting his name. Well, nickname. Even with the deafening sound of his blood pumping in his ears like he’s the one fighting in the middle of the arena, Anakin can’t stop himself from scoffing. How can Obi-Wan get into illegal street fighting in the lowest levels of Coruscant and choose to call himself Ben? At least some of his boring master’s choices don’t surprise him.

It's not the first time he's watching Obi-Wan fighting with nothing else than his fists. It was even quite common when his master was teaching him how to defend himself, when Anakin was still a young padawan. But Obi-Wan was always so proper about it. Focused on the fastest and most efficient way to get the upper hand without maiming his opponent. The picture of calm and serenity, even while throwing his padawan down on the mat to teach him an important lesson about self-defence. Rarely a strand of hair out of place.

But here? Here it's nothing like the impassive and soft-spoken Jedi Master who doesn’t even seem to sweat in the training room of the Temple. Here, it's a fascinating grin on his face, bloody knuckles in the air, adrenaline and flashing lights painting his red hair a shade too wild. It's a violent and brutal show for glory and entertainment, and it suits Obi-Wan like nothing else before.

Anakin has never wanted to be slammed down in the sand so badly in his life.

The crowd around him suddenly goes quiet, and it takes Anakin a second to realise it’s because Obi-Wan asked for it with a simple hand raised. There is something fascinating in watching all these strangers obeying him so promptly, eagerly waiting for a word from him, when Anakin can still remember all the times he cut Obi-Wan off in one of his tedious lectures.

The whole arena holds its breath, and Obi-Wan takes a few seconds to enjoy it.

“Next!” He finally yells, and the crowd yells back in delight.

Anakin needs to gather his thoughts. Or what's left of them anyway. Unfortunately, Obi-Wan dodging the punches of his new opponent with a flourish, parrying and making an acrobatic show of throwing him over his shoulders on the ground just for the crowd’s enjoyment is more than distracting. Despite the blood on his face, the bruises, the dishevelled hair and the sand sticking to his torso because of the sweat, Obi-Wan hasn’t looked this carefree since the beginning of the war, and Anakin can’t look away.

He can’t decide if he’s content to simply be mesmerized by the whole thing, thrilled to be able to admire Obi-Wan being this bold, almost smug, from far away, where his clear feeling of want doesn’t have to be ignored right away, or angry at him for putting himself in danger for no reason when he’s taking enough risks as it is fighting a war. For once, Anakin is tempted to be the voice of reason for the two of them.

It doesn’t last long.

A minute after the commentator enthusiastically yells into her mic Ben’s victory, a bell still ringing in celebration, Anakin has already made his way to a little booth away from the show, where a bored Kiffar asks him what he wants. Anakin licks his lips, and can’t help feeling like he’s a young padawan again, giddy with excitement and vibrating with anticipation.

“How much to join?” he asks, but doesn’t let him time to answer before adding, pointing to the arena, “How much to fight him?”

#anakin: 'what if obi-wan is having SEX WITH STRANGERS I CAN'T HANDLE THAT'#anakin: 'nvm he's just beating people up and it's hot so I'm good'#(as always english is not my native language so I’m sure there are a lot of dumb grammatical errors)#(one day I'll find a beta)#obikin #fic i will never write #asks #crvdematter #fic i did write

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carcinized · 3 years ago

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Bobby Mackey's

warning for kind of existential talk about cities turning into ghost towns, talk of the paranormal, talk of hell, kind of creepy stuff in general. this is an au based off the real place, bobby mackey's, but watered down to spare my own sanity and fused with las nevadas!

read it on ao3

Bobby Mackey’s wasn’t always called Bobby Mackey’s, you know. The city has been many things to many people, and many names to them. To you and me, the place is Bobby Mackey’s: a city filled with ghosts. It’s frightening enough without the spirits, and worse, the stories—but visiting it and feeling the melancholy (as well as sometimes a gust of wind that maybe shouldn’t have been there) is worse.

Before your time, or even mine, the city was full of life. It was a new city booming with those who dreamed of wealth and fame—and those who wanted to run from it. It was easy to make it big, and easier to lose it all. After all, the house always wins.

The man who built the city called it Las Nevadas. When you first entered, it was said to seem normal enough—bars played sports games on televisions and served drinks at high prices, clubs blared loud music and featured dancers for those who wished to observe as well as spaces to dance for those who wanted to participate.

However, when you took a closer look, you noticed odd things. Restaurants with signs reading “Closed Forever.” Explosion holes in the ground. Empty chests. Holes in walls leading to unfurnished, empty establishments. Blank stares of the same few employees you found in every store over and over again.

It’s rumoured that the man who created Las Nevadas was quite involved with the paranormal, as well, perhaps explaining why the city is so active with ghosts now. Some say that the rival burger company just outside Las Nevadas city limits was run by Quackity’s undead rival from the past. Others speculate that Las Nevadas being built directly over an alleged portal to hell was no accident. Quackity supposedly visited Limbo to see his ex fiancé at least once, and people theorize that he picked the entry to Limbo to make the journey easier on himself. After all, the man who created the portal by crawling out of hell himself, Jack Manifold, certainly wanted nothing to do with the site of his suffering. And Quackity had grown skilled at working with the leftovers of others’ successes.

Believe it or not, Quackity had been part of a violent government agency before his creation of Las Nevadas. Multiple, in fact. He was vice president of a country called Manberg, which exiled people, practically enslaved citizens, and executed people with neither trials nor warnings. Then he was Vice President of New L’manberg—a mostly peaceful nation, except for when the Butcher Army was created to hunt down individuals compromising national security and publicly execute them.

Nowadays, he’s gone. Dead. Down in hell with his fiancé, and everyone else he knew. No one knows much more about him or his life anymore, besides what’s in the history books and museums. However, after his final death, the history of Las Nevadas continues.

After Quackity died, Las Nevadas continued to do business, keeping its doors wide open for anyone interested. Establishments changed and grew dated, and over time things in the big city of gambling seemed less interesting to the young folk of the world. The new shininess people had cherished before had tarnished, and no one cared enough about the city to clean off the metal. People stopped coming, and Las Nevadas became a ghost town.

Somewhere in that time frame, between the booming business and the rusting lack of appeal, the rival burger van just outside the city limits was renamed Bobby Mackey’s in a change of ownership. As everything inside the city lost its glow and emptied of life, Bobby Mackey’s became the only name worth remembering. The city limits were forgotten, old skirmishes forgiven. Bobby Mackey’s became the only name worth mentioning, effectively renaming an entire city.

Still, today, people visit Las Nevadas. It’s a tourist attraction, now—a ghost town filled with real ghosts. The economy of the city has changed, and what brought people there then no longer brings them there now. Before, it was a place about living life to the fullest. Now, it’s a place you go to experience the closest you’ll ever get to death without actually dying.

And still, whether in the past or the present, it’s always a gamble to visit Las Nevadas.

WOO I WROTE AGAIN!!! RBS APPRECIATED!!! <33

#allyster writes #dsmp #las nevadas #dream smp #mcyt #bobby mackey's au #RBS APPRECIATED LOVES <333 I HAVENT WRITTEN IN FOREVER LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKED THIS <333

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danaduchy · 7 years ago

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NPCs about Seeds

Full script of Far Cry 5 (except cutscenes)

* What were those Seed brothers like? Can't imagine there's anything like a healthy sibling rivalry going on there. * John's the baby of the Seed family. His brothers turn a blind eye to his more sadistic indulgences. * Joseph and John show why it's hard to have a family business. Money and blood mix weird. Even when you're not tryin' to be a messiah. * When you escaped the bunker... John didn't say it... but you could see it in his face. Failure. Things got worse from there... Like he was trying to make up for something. Prove to his brother he could... * Kim and I used to throw these weekend BBs. Open invite. All you had to do was bring something. If you can believe it, the whole Seed family came once. They brang watery mac and cheese. I shoulda knew they were monsters when they did that. * John's on edge 'cause his brother-Father is getting' cranky. What a fucked up sibling relationship those two got. * Maybe John will go crying to his "father". I wanna see Joseph give John a spanking. * Joseph's pissed the hell off. I hear John's sweating like a piggy. * Word's out - Joseph's had it with John. That little punk is backed into a corner now. * Good thing for us John and Jacob haven't sorted out their brotherly nonsense. I mean if we're lucky, they'll just take each other down. If not, well, I'm going to keep some grenades around with John's name on 'em, eh? It's comin' to a head man. * Says somethin' that Joseph didn't save his brother. Family really doesn't mean shit to these people. * Wonder what Daddy Seed is feelin' right now. Oh. Shit. What if he WANTED John dead? Fuck man, I can't think about the big game. We did it here. We kicked ass. That's gotta matter. Okay that’s what I'm telling myself. Yeah, that’s it. * I'm just sayin': If I was Joseph and I had the ability to see into future occurrences, I woulda warned my boy John that he was gon' get murdered... and made some good bets. * I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Joseph tries to spin John's death to his own advantage. * John Seed never had the Father's full confidence, what I heard. But the Joseph loves little sister Faith, and gave her everything her twisted heart desired. * Jacob always tried to look out for his little brother. Imagine what he's gonna do when he finds out you killed him.

* John was always the runt of the Seed family. I'm not surprised that you were able to get him. But I gotta warn you, Jacob's a whole lot meaner than his little brother. * Joseph adopted Faith into their family. She's going to be madder'n a wet hen that you killed her brother John. * John liked to throw his weight around, tryin' to prove how strong he was. Jacob knows he's strong. His actions are more controlled, and he's a lot scarier for it. John was always super emotional, but Jacob's buttons won't be so easy to push. * All this could have been avoided if only a mid-level cable channel gave the Seed family the reality show they deserved. * You know, if any of these Seeds ran for office, they'd win in a landslide. Mind control charisma just oozes off of them. * Come to think of it, the Seeds work just like a political office. You got Joseph, the mayor, and John, Jacob and Faith as his city councilors. It's no wonder they forced me and my people out of office - they already knew how to play the game! * Each of the Seeds has their own bunker. They call them “Gates”. * Know how I sniffed out Eden's Gate's bullshit early on? Only the Seeds were allowed to be angry, everybody else had to be calm--even though we all had our asses in that church because we were mad at the same shit too. But now everybody gets to be angry, 'cause it's a weapon pointin' where the Seeds want it. Protect the project. Transparent motherfuckers.

John

Resistance

* John's always been obsessed with the people in Fall's End. And with Mary May in particular. * Deep down, I think John wants to die. That man has scars that run deep. * John's got a particular ritual he sticks to. You get marked with a video, then you get dunked in the water. When John wants you found, he doesn't stop. Ever. * Nowadays, if you're caught huntin’, John Seed'll have ya' killed. * John's got people getting baptized all across the valley. In rivers, creeks, hell, even in puddles. * John scrawls a fucking tattoo on your chest, then flays you the fuck alive. He nails it to a wall. * If the peggies wanted a heap of food, why didn't they drive a ways to the wholesale club and take that over? Everythin' would be canned and ready for them instead of still in the ground. You can tell John Seed never had to raise a kid. * The cult takes people and then sorts out where they go. Whoever John doesn't keep, he sends to Jacob. Or Faith. * John really puts the dick in dictator. The fucker just loves calling and leaving answering machine messages, too. * John's always wearing a key around his neck. He calls it the key to paradise. I don't wanna know what it unlocks. * I'm pretty sure the family that used to own this farm is long gone. John Seed made an offer. They refused. That's that. * This fertilizer company was bought by John Seed a long time ago. They ran it as a legit business. * This one guy, Les Doverspike. House is northwest. He thought he could prepare for everything... Din't count on... JOHN SEED'S LAWYERING SUPER POWERS! In the blink of an eye, Eden's Gate owned Les' land, bunker, arm, leg, dingleberries, ....EVERYTHING! * I've heard some pretty brutal stories about what happens when John wants you to confess. * The peggies had to have planned all this way ahead of time - they're harvestin' at record speed. I guess they had little meetings... John probably hunkered over his map gettin' a hard-on for the sound of his own voice. Hm... now there's a thought... * The thing that always bugs me about John Seed is, who goes to a lawyer that’s tatted up more than a gangbanger? * You're attractin' a lot of attention, especially from John Seed. John's paying special attention to you. * John wants you real bad. Have you considered maybe he's in some kinda love with you? He oughta killed you like two or three times already but he's playin' cat and mouse. Just sayin', if you find yourself alone with him maybe a good long somethin-or-other could save our necks. * Man, that John, he sure does have a hard on for you. So I'm thinking, you guys should probably just fuck and uh get it over with. * I bet you John gives the best spankin's. Sorry I know that's messed up. What can I say, he brings it outta me. I'm just sayin' maybe we don't kill John is all. Seems a waste of a perfectly good set of buns. * Before you, John never lost his cool. You're driving John literally crazy. * I drank with Joey Hudson back in the day. She doesn't take shit from anyone. John's gonna eat her alive. * I know how these things go, man. Deputy, you better keep skeleton keys and wire cutters and a swiss army knife and anythin' that'll get you outta a hogtie on you at all times, because John is gonna truss you up like a dinner turkey real soon. * Always thought there was somethin' kinda twisted about John. * John the Baptist is an amoral predator, end of story. * John Seed's not gettin' what he wants, so he's pitchin' a fit. * Keep an ear out for John's fucken' plane. He loves buzzin' around in that hunk of shit. * I've known men like John Seed before. Real charismatic. They'll sell ya poison and convince ya it's a health tonic. He'd fit in real nice in Washington... * I had one conversation with John Seed and I knew! I knew... He masks his words as guidance, but deep down there is a selfishness that could only come from pure evil. * John Seed's a piece of shit. When news spread that I was expecting, that scumbag spread rumors that HE was the biological father of my baby. I don't know if he was trying to create a wedge between me and Nick or if he was just doing it to laugh at us. * I hear John Seed was a lawyer or something. Used the rules to buy up stuff in the Holland Valley. The cult must have been running damage control already, because think of what a story that'd make. Unless we're already all tapped out of giving a fuck about the shitty economy and its parasites. Huh. Yeah. He's same old, actually. Same fucking old. * I remember the first time John Seed set foot in this bar. I'm wiping down counters and Ma's countin' the till when I hear her bark, 'What the fuck do you want?' I look up and he's standin' in the doorway. Eyein' me like I'm a meal. Some people 'round here said give the Seed's a chance. I knew they were bad news from the start. * Eden's Gate took this town right from under us. They started buying up all the land, forcing business to shut down and foreclosing on homes.... My parents and me fought back, but John wanted this bar. Told 'em he'd have to pry it from our cold dead hands. So, the cult paid off the county and made it illegal to transport alcohol. We fought back with lawyers, but those leeches bled us dry, too. * Whenever there's a neighbor in need, everybody around here pitches in. A couple days after we told some people I was pregnant, we got all this secondhand baby shit from everybody. John Seed stole all of it the next day. * Heard Pastor Jerome had you saving people from being kidnapped. John Seed did that to me. The fucker made me think he was going to torture me, too. Had me wait in a room for half a day thinking he was going to do it. All that fucker did was give me one of those ink jobs. It was messed up. * John Seed is just a man. He seeks glory and riches. He immersed himself in a sea of self-aggrandizement. He pounds pulpits. He professes principals he neither believes nor practices. He stokes fear. But he is just a man. * Before you came along, John Seed kidnapped me. He has his way of getting a person to say things. It's not about my words. It's about what's in his head. When he was done, I was beaten, toed in the woods, and left to die. * A long time ago, in peaceful times, I asked John Seed what was driving him. He gave me so many answers. All of them lies. * John Seed is a cruel soul who can't be reasoned with. He enjoys making people suffer. * John and the Peggies are taking everything and everyone that ain't nailed down. Even then they just come with crowbars. * After you're marked for baptism and dunked in the fucking river, John drags you to his bunker. God save us from whatever he does in there. * There must be a reason John almost drowns people in the baptisms. It's a power play but there's more to it. * If John really wanted to, he could wipe Fall's End off the map. He's toying with the people there, like a sadistic cat. * John's got a singular mind. Dug up from a serial killer's grave, but still, singular. * There's something really wrong with John. I don't have a name for it but you can see it in that creepy smile of his. * When I first saw him on the cult's videos, John seemed pretty harmless. But when I met him in person, he made the hairs on my neck stand up. * John bought up all the businesses 'round here and promised us jobs but the only people who got work were cultists. * When John asks you for somethin', he's not really askin'. He'll get what he wants from you one way or another. * John wants us all to say yes, but I think he actually really likes it when they say no. Gives him an excuse to get mean. * Anyone who doesn't confess to John gets killed and put on display as a warning to others. It's inhuman. * John doesn't just mark people with a sin, but their houses too. You can see his calling cards all over the valley. * I got a package from John Seed the other day. // What was inside it? // A note that said I was favored and that if I admitted to my sin, I'd be cleansed. * What does John Seed do exactly...? // He messes with your head. Asks you questions. Makes you say shit you don't want to be saying. I... I really don't want to talk about it. * John was right, we all do have one sin that tends to run our life. In a weird way maybe he did give us a second chance. * My old house was a piece of shit. It would creak at night, so bad I thought for sure some boogie man was coming to get me every night growing up. // Heh, aw, that's cute. // Yeah. John gutted and burned it to a crisp last week. * Okay, I need to lighten the mood. This is unbearable. // Oh Lord. // John Seed is so uptight, he takes a ruler to bed to see how long he sleeps. // I'm not in the mood. // John Seed is so uptight, he fell down a coal shaft and found a diamond in his ass a week later. // Okay that's pretty good. * You seen that John guy? Most aggressive grin I ever seen on a human being. Like a chimpanzee before it bites ya. // God what a creep. // I hate to think what kinda life he's come from. // Who gives a shit? He's evil. // What makes a guy that evil though? // It doesn't matter. There are loads of people out there with troubled pasts but they manage not to run an apocalypse murder cult. * Not like John was the peak of sanity before, but he's going straight up coo-coo bananas with all you're doin'. * Sounds like Broseph's mad! Ouuuu, family probs! John's like that little brother who gets held down and farted on, and then curls into a ball and cries. * One thing about John -- the more you ruffle his feathers, the angrier he gets. He can't deal with embarrassment; being made to look bad. He'll start sending out search parties to grab people like us, so we gotta stay frosty. * John's lustin' for a dogfight with you, huh. I bet that kid jerked it to Top Gun or something and now it's the only way he can get a stiffie, is in a dogfight. If you have to kick the bucket I hope that's one of your last thoughts, its a good one. * John's playin' a strange game with you. Dunno what's worse, that sometimes he seems to want you dead, or sometimes he seems to want you alive. * John's no better than his brother's dog, and we all know what needs doin' to a mad dog. * John's huntin' you like an animal. He catches you, you're probably gonna join his other trophies on his wall. * Hey dep, I just wanna say I'm sorry, I heard John's got a partner of yours It's gotta be scary, you know. Probably heard about how John cuts people up and knows all these pressure points and can make you feel pain beyond anything you ever imagined. Anyways don't think about that. I'm sure... I'm sure she's fine. She'll be alright. * Was John dead behind the eyes when you met him? It's not my imagination, there's no soul back there. * I heard there's no spare key for the bunker prison. Just one for John. Control freak. * John Seed, what a fuckin' self-absorbed dick, huh? You just KNOW he jerks off in the mirror, and marvels at his fuckin' facial expressions. * That's John Seed's Ranch. I heard he loved hiding in that castle of his. * John had this place built just for him. Even got a hangar for his fucken' planes. * Look at this place. John's got the worst case of younger sibling syndrome I ever seen. * John's such a neat freak, it's inhuman. * Ugh. John Seed's temple to himself. Fucker's got a tennis court. I ain't never seen anybody play. Just another way he's a hypocrite. * I know everyone's got a bunker out here, but John's is ridiculous. * John's taste in home decor is... awful. * John's been stealin' the planes from all over the Valley. He keeps the best ones at the airstrip next to his ranch. * Of all the Seeds, I think I understood John the least. Inferiority complex, maybe? But he was a lawyer, he could have gone out and, I don't know, been a Wall Street megalomaniac. I guess economic murder isn't as satisfying as direct murder. * John made tattoos look real bad man, I'm glad he's six feet under. You gotta respect the ink. He didn't even learn a proper letterin' or font techniques or nothing, man. No way I'd have even trusted him to touch up my tramp stamp. * With John gone, Jacob will have a harder time building up his army. But he's already got a strong force at the ready.

Peggies

* John Seed's a funny guy. But not 'ha-ha' funny. * Dang, John's bunker is so luxurious. There's parts of this bunker that only John can access. * Deputy Hudson is one of John's "special projects". Every time John leaves here, he's got a big smile on his face. * John's got the only key to the deeper parts of the bunker. We really oughtta make a copy of John's key. What if he loses it? * John knows the human heart. He's been through a lot. It's why I trust him. * I wonder if John's place will survive the Collapse? * I could get in trouble for saying this, but it smells funny in John's house. * Haven't seen John here in a long time. He's super busy. * I knew John loved planes, but I didn't know he also loved boats. I bet John's boat costs more than my old house. * I've never seen Brother John on a boat, but I know he likes to get wet. * You think John fishes? * We need to keep this place tidy. You know how John gets with his baptisms. * Bet we're guardin' John's unreleased films. * I hope Brother John takes me for a plane ride someday. * John keeps all of his favorite things stashed in the hangar. * John wants the word Yes plastered all over this place. Gotta attract new brothers and sisters. * Taking this scrap metal is good forward thinking. John's left nothing to chance. He's a smart man. * Bet John'll be a king after the collapse. * If you're marked, John believes you can be saved. I didn't want to admit my sin at first, but John showed me how to accept it gracefully. * Feels weird turning those people into Angels. I mean, they worked in the store here with us. They cooperated. // Sure, they cooperated. But they were still sinners. There's no going back at a certain point, you know? John said that this was the only way to save them. * I know it's John's will, but...I don't like killing dogs. * John's made catchin' that deputy our top priority. Wonder why John wants the deputy alive. * That deputy's fixin' to get taken into John's special room. * John's relentless, that deputy don't stand a chance. * John's gettin' awful mad. I pity anyone who has to deal with him face to face. * I don't know what's goin' on in John's head, but it's embarrassing. * I thought John had control of things, but lately it feels like he's got no idea what he's doin'. * John's got that look in his eye, I almost feel bad for the people of Fall's End. * John will make everyone atone, even if it kills him. * John was right, they never saw us comin'. * John's so smart. Burnin' what we can't take, so people know they need us, spirit and body. * Last I heard from John, he was real angry. Never knew he had that amount of righteous wrath in him. * Pray you never see John lose his cool. // He never does. // He has though. Some sinner a while back had words with 'im. I couldn't hear exactly, but I heard 'em say the Father's name - I never seen John go so red so fast. // What'd he do? // Well he gets in his plane and wipes the sinner's property off the goddamned map. He rains fire on'em. They're scurryin' everywhere, screamin'. Like a magnifying glass on an anthill. * The Seeds lost a good brother in John. * Maybe John wasn't part of the plan? Maybe this is still what the voice told Joseph? * John's faith wavered, but mine's never been stronger. * I'll miss John's pep talks. * John did so much for the project. He can never be replaced. * John proved his devotion in blood. How can we do any less? * John was always larger than life, it felt like he was immortal.

Joseph

Resistance

* Joseph doesn't like it when his family goes off-book. * I know this is an unpopular opinion, but what if Joseph's right about the end of the world? * That's the first place Joseph ever built. Back when they pretended to be good. Joseph used to preach here. We could have saved us some trouble if we had just set fire to it years ago. * Joseph Seed and his whole family are like the politicians who ran this country into the ground. They sell ya hope and change and all these people buy into it thinking it's gonna be different this time. It ain't. Might as well be buyin' magic beans. * These people in Eden's Gate have been led astray. Joseph Seed claims he loves everyone. Wants them to know the truth. The truth is he preaches vengeance and sows lies. But the words of an evil man ring louder in the minds of the weak... * You know what really gets me? Cult leaders are usually always in it for the money. Just like a pyramid scheme. Joseph ain't like that. I keep tryin' to break this guy down into what he wants from people. If it ain't money, and it ain't sex, what the hell is it? * Joseph's a charismatic son of a bitch. I mean, you've heard him. The pitch. The tempo. The way the words roll off his gentle lips. His mannerisms. I mean he's been speech trained, probably more than any politician I've ever seen. That's how you know he's a government guy. * I know the people of this valley. They're good, hard workin' people. But in bad times, people get scared, start lookin' for someone to blame. Joseph Seed fed on that fear. Told folk the end of the world was coming. Lot of 'em believed him. Truth be told... way things are now? I sometimes wonder if he's right. Folks felt abandoned, grew weary, they needed our help. And we didn't listen, but Joseph Seed did. Joseph Seed wooed people. He told them EXACTLY what they wanted to hear. With those falsehoods, lies, his poison. It's driven a lot of good folks away from the righteous path. * I knew Joseph Seed was bad business when he wormed his way in here a few years back. I imagine the fucking mainstream media would paint us as two sides of the same coin, because they're either lazy or corrupt or both... But to me, it's simple: I'm willing to sacrifice everything for my family, while Joseph Seed wants to burn down the world for his. * Y'know, I had a dream last night that involved me, a bed, whips and chains, and Joseph Seed. Suffice to say there were a lot of conflicting emotions and sensations... * Did you have a vision? Faith dosed me with bliss, and I saw the Father come to me, personally, and tell me terrible things. * I have a lot of pity for Faith. Joseph is the true monster, manipulating that young woman into a weapon. * Who the heck is Faith, y'know? Joseph treats her both like his daughter and his sister. How much does she know? How influential is she? It's all twisted together. * I wonder how many other secret bunkers there are in the county? Joseph procured a whole missile silo and no one saw! * Faith came to Hope County to detox. Like tourism of hillbilly country for rehab. But Joseph took a shine to her and she was reborn. Hell, her real name ain't even Faith, but something rich, like Riley or Rachel. * Joseph believes in Faith. He's entrusted her with all manner of heinous activity out here. We need to take her out. * I can't see what kind of method to the madness Eden's Gate has goin' on. Three heralds of the Collapse? What are they even doin'? // They got a system. Faith sows, John reaps, Jacob... // Steps on your neck? // Deals in belief, I guess. // Nah, that's Joseph's job. He's the charismatic populist motherfucker. Jacob just wants to cull people. * Joseph's just a nobody from nowhere. How'd he get this many people behind him? * There was a time no western religious leader would be caught dead with a goddamned man-bun. Fuck I miss those days. Listen, I get that he's runnin' this big old cult and all but if you're gonna run a big old cult you gotta look the part! Long robe that's a weird color, like puce or something, stringy moustache, head shaved bald like a baby. Not like some kind of lovechild between a hipster and a country singer. * Joseph Seed's family is gone. He's gonna be vulnerable and running on emotion. He won't be thinkin' straight. If we're putting this to a vote, I'd say we close this chapter for good, as soon as possible.

Peggies

* The father's takin' a personal interest in those deputies now... Maybe his visions told him somethin'. * Joseph said that deputy is special. I wonder what he meant by that. * Despite everything they've done to us, I know Joseph would still forgive them. * We have to love the sinners. It's what Joseph would want. * It's been too long since I've seen our Father's face. * Joseph is a gifted songwriter. You haven't lived until you've heard Joseph sing this live. * I heard that the Father got the idea for the Judges in a vision. * Jacob might teach us to shoot, but Joseph guides our aim. * President Seed has a nice ring to it. Wonder if Joseph has political aspirations? * I see why Joseph liked this county. Plenty of silos for what we need to store. * Everyone knows Joseph will not tolerate idle hands. * The Father keeps all the best stuff for his Chosen. Leaves us the scraps. * After the collapse, we won't hear the Father on the radio anymore. * Joseph's disappointed in us, I can tell. We gotta do better. * I hope the Father doesn't take this out on us. * I can't imagine how Joseph feels now, with his brother gone. * With Jacob gone the Father has to have a backup plan for us. He has to. * Our Father was supposed to save us. Joseph wouldn't ever abandon us, would he? * Joseph will know what to do. I just have to find out where he's hidin'.

Jacob

Resistance

* We're in Jacob's territory now. Know how I know? Wildlife is scarce. I'm not one for hunting but this area in particular used to be home to quite a few species. They've either been driven away or taken in for experiments. It's sad. * Jacob Seed's in charge out here. He's ex-military, he's a combat veteran, and he's a psycho. * Faith was Joseph's favorite, but Jacob is his toughest soldier, bar none. * Jacob's got this Chair. He straps people in and breaks them down until their souls are gone. Then he controls their mind. Don't end up in that chair. * I know Jacob's the bad guy and all, but every bad guy thinks they're this misunderstood hero, right? Has anyone ever tried to just, you know, take him for coffee and talk to him? * Strippin' people of their mind and freewill to build an army for The Father, that ain't right. I still can't believe Jacob and Joseph are brothers. * The mind is the most dangerous weapon and Jacob knows that all too well. No one was really prepared for this. * I've seen him up close once and I'll tell ya' Jacob Seed is one scary motherfucker. * Jacob had one thing right. Things are only goin' to get worse and you gotta be ready for it. * I had a dream once that Jacob took me on a hunt. We shot some deer and he asked me to skin them. As I was cutting them open they changed... it wasn't deer. I... I don't think it was a dream. * Whatever you do, don't listen to the music. That's how Jacob gets you. * One of the first places Jacob took over is the old Veteran's Hospital. No one thought much of it at the time. * Careful. Jacob likes to play mind games with ya. * This was an animal sanctuary until Jacob took it over. Looks like he's got some freaky deaky shit goin' on. Jake-n-Bake Seed really had his fingers up in everything up here. * Jacob's completely insane. He's not even trying to hide what he's doing anymore. * Heard that Jacob has been doin' some weird stuff with animals over here... and not just wolves this time. * Jacob's been putting people in cages. Keepin' them there with no food or water for weeks! Almost better if they just killed you. * Eli worked on Jacob's special bunkers, did you know that? Turns out they didn't get along. Who would've thought? * No one is immune to Jacob's fucked up conversion. Once they hit you with that you ain't ever the same. * Jacob, he's knows everything that I'm thinking. He's got the key to my mind and he twists... and twists... and twists. * Jacob... his experiments... he takes us... owns us, speaks to us. He hears us. Jacob... he's in control. He controls everything. * Jacob knows how to get into your head. Twists things around so you don't know what's right anymore. * If Jacob can't find a use for you in his army, you become target practice for troops. * Be careful out there. Friends might not be friends anymore after Jacob's done with them. * I bet the Peggies got an armory here, too. I can't believe how Jacob got them so organized. * Jacob's using everything he learned in the military and twisting it to suit the needs of Eden's Gate. Son of a bitch is a poor excuse for a soldier if you ask me. As long as he's alive my Pops will be rolling in his grave, all bitter and mad. * Have to say, you've ticked Jacob off something fierce. * You wanna bet that Jacob had that three-wolf moon poster as a kid? I bet he was a cub scout, too. Now he's getting his badge for people-skinning and brainwashing. * I'm seeing a lot more choppers in the air. Looks like Jacob's using them to move troops and supplies. * You know, I was dumb enough to work for Jacob a few years back. Who you think built him all those Peggie bunkers? You think I saw any of this comin'? Hell no... * Jacob's new recruits gotta kill someone they care about, just to prove their loyalty. That's messed up on so many levels. * Jacob will be pied that you and the Cougars freed the Henbane River. He'll need a new source of soldiers. * Jacob sees himself as beyond the other so-called Heralds. He views his work as the most important, and that the others' purpose was to support him. * Jacob will break every bone in your body to convert you. He lives for pain. * Jacob would happily sacrifice everyone and everything in Hope County to feed Joseph's Collapse. He doesn't care about Faith. * Between John, Faith, and Jacob, I'd say our mind control freak is the worst. He makes people kill their own family. His own mind's twisted. He's a damn maniac. * I hear Jacob's looking everywhere for you. * You gotta save us from all this darkness. All this death. Jacob's losing it and he's out hunting down more people. He's gonna do anything for Joseph's plan to work. * Cult's got the wrong idea 'bout sacrifices. My neighbor killed his old man 'cause Jacob said so. For fuck's sake, you don't do that. * Jacob's gone nuts 'cause he lost a lot of his precious, mindless soldiers. I'd say it sucks even more to see our own teammates turned against us. * Jacob's pissed. That's new. He's always been the crazy type, but I'm afraid of what he'll come up with next. Stay sharp. * Using music to control people is so in bad taste, but Jacob's song pick, that's gotta say something about him. * How much do we know about this Jacob fella? He seems strong. Got a good setup going on... We ought to take some photographs of him or somethin'. Preferably shirtless... Y'know, for intelligence purposes. Know your enemy. * If Jacob he had an experienced woman in his life, this shit would not be happenin'. I'll take one for the team if it comes to that. Just don't tell Xander I said that. He'll get jealous. * I knew Jacob was trouble as soon as he showed up. I mean, did you see his face? It's all burned and twisted like his heart. * Jacob's got training grounds all over the place. I've seen them out there, shooting anything that moves. * I can almost understand why people follow Jacob. He's knows what he's doin', that's for sure. Mind you he's also a fucken' psychopath kind of a deal breaker for me. * Honestly, Jacob scares the shit outta me, even more than the Father. I've seen Jacob up close, I've looked him in the eyes they're empty, not a single shred of humanity anywhere. * Jacob's one sick fuck. Nailing up bodies? Burning people alive? That's just messed up. * You know what? I think Jacob's scared of Eli. That's why he's tried so hard to get him. * Jacob must be getting desperate and crazy. More troops out here than ever. * Jacob's plan worked. I tried to warn them. I told them not to go back. Jacob's going to win. He always wins. * Jacob was the big, mean, brute of the Seed clan. * Jacob was an example of how a vet can go bad without any help. Still glad he's dead of course.

Peggies

* Hope Jacob doesn't have another surprise inspection. Last one didn't go so hot. * Jacob asks for sacrifices from us all. I gave up my son just so I could understand the Father's pain. * Jacob can turn these animals into weapons for the Father, I've seen him do it. * Jacob calls those wolves of his Judges, 'cause that's what they do. If you're not worthy, they tear you to shreds. * Jacob takes us, molds us and lifts us up to realize our potential. Just like this Judge. Once, it was just a simple wolf. Then it heard the voice of the Father. Now look at it. Stronger, faster... a killer. That's what Jacob does, he makes us better than we were, because only the very best of us will pass through Eden's Gate and on to salvation. * Jacob has asked us to find more recruits for the Project. We have to make them see the light... by force if necessary. * Jacob taught me how to bring a boar down will one killshot. Now I just apply the same logic to sinners. Easy. * Trust nobody, that's what Jacob told us. * Last time I was here Jacob himself complimented me on my shootin'. * Jacob will whip the strong ones into shape. The rest of 'em won't survive training. Jacob sure puts you through your paces here. It's how he makes us strong. * Jacob only wants the strongest of any creature. * Some of the converts have a hard time losing their old notions, but Jacob has a way of getting them to see the light. * If you've ever been in Jacob's presence you know just how powerful he really is. * There is no way anyone would dare stand up to Jacob. They'd be dead in a second. * Jacob's got this county locked down. There's no way they're gonna take him out. * Jacob knows what he's doin'. If he says he's got this bastard covered, I believe him. You know Jacob. He's not gonna give up. * I hear Jacob is furious. We have to try harder. We can't fail the Father. * Jacob's not dead. There's no way. He's too strong to die. * The sacrifice of Jacob must be part of the Father's great plan; we must trust in him. * The guy who killed Jacob. He fucken' cheated. You know Jacob. There's no way he would've lost in a straight up fight. Can't do anything for Jacob, but we can make sure Pratt pays for letting that bastard get away. * Do you think this the father knew about all this? // Of course. It's all part of his plan. // Even losing Jacob? // Do you doubt the Father's visions? // No! Of course not.... it's just... the guys... they have questions.... // Questions? Now's not the time for questions! It's time for action! Do you want to die a sinner? // No! Or course not! // Then get back to your post. The Father needs us now, more than ever! * So what the hell are we going to do now? // What do you mean? // What do I mean? Jacob's dead! That's a pretty big deal, if you ask me. // We still have the Father. It's his plan after all. // Sure, but he had Jacob and the others to help. He can't do it all himself. // That's why we're here. We have to step up, do whatever is asked of us. We can't give up, not now. // Yeah, you're right. Especially with what's coming. // Exactly. Get back to your post, this isn't over yet.

Pratt

* Jacob's caught himself a Deputy. I think it's Pratt. Poor bastard, he's not gonna last a day in there. * Deputy Pratt always came off as a bit of a douchebag, but that doesn't mean he deserves what Jacob's doin' to him. * I'd sure hate to be that Deputy Pratt right now. Jacob's gonna rip him to pieces. He tried to arrest his brother for God sake. * Pratt's days are numbered. One of these days Jacob's gonna have him nailed up on some billboard or something just like the others. * I keep thinking about Pratt, and what Jacob's doin' to him. That poor man's brain's gonna be totally fucked. * Can only imagine what it's like to be left in a cage with nothing to eat for days. God, do you think that's what they're doing to that Deputy of yours? Poor bastard. * I don't think that Deputy's gonna live much longer. I hear Jacob's furious and you can be sure who he's gonna take it out on. * Next time you meet your friend Pratt, be careful. Jacob does things... to your mind... he might not be the same person you remember. Don't say I didn't warn you. * Can you fuckin' believe that guy? // Who? // The Deputy. Pratt. He was wanderin' around behind the cages. // What the fuck was he doin' there? // Who the hell knows. Jacob's probably got him off doing some shit. // Yeah, he's lucky to be able to put two words together after what Jacob did to him! // Seriously. Sometimes I think it's a mistake to put too much trust in these converts. You should come willing to the light, or be struck down. * I.. I was told to feed the Judges but I didn't know where their food was. // Jesus, Pratt. Does nothing stick in that brain of yours? Over there, where it's always kept. // Right! Th..thanks Phil! It won't happen again! // It better not. * I just want go out and hunt down the bastard that killed Jacob and beat them to death.//Don't worry. They'll be here soon enough. We've got their buddy Pratt down here. Pretty sure we're next on the list.//Aren't you worried? They were strong enough to take on Jacob...// Fuck 'em. With the number of guards we got here? They'd be crazy to try to take us on. * Good thing Pratt's out man. He was lookin' like a hipster in a bullfight man. * There's not much of the old Deputy Pratt left, Jacob made sure of that. Almost would've been better that he'd died in there. * Yeah, the Deputy might be free, but I won't say he's okay. No one is okay after they've been through the trials. No one. * Jacob sure did a number on Pratt. Not sure there's much of him left in there. * It's gonna take a while for Deputy Pratt to recover from this... if he ever does.

#far cry 5 #joseph seed #jacob seed #john seed #staci pratt #reference

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melsie-sims · 4 years ago

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This challenge was originally created by Melsie-Sims on January 11th, 2021. Please use the #Among Us Challenge tag to share your progress! This challenge is inspired by the Human Enough Challenge by the wonderful @squeamishsims! It’s meant to be a longer challenge spanning at least two generations so buckle up!

To take part you will need Get to Work installed, as your main character will be an alien sim. Other useful (but not mandatory) packs include: City Living, Parenthood, Strangerville and University. Your challenge can be as story-driven as you wish, or not at all. The rules definitely allow some creative freedom.

In the Among Us Challenge, your alien sim starts out on an empty residential lot of your choosing. The general premise is that their rocket ship crashed on Earth and they are now stranded, without the ability to communicate with their home-world.

With their rocket ship completely destroyed, they must adapt to their strange new surroundings and blend in with the townies. No one can know there is an alien among them.

Create an Alien in CAS and make them a Young Adult.

Their human disguise can have as many outfits as you’d like. Your alien’s natural form is only allowed to wear the alien bodysuit from Get to Work. Please use it for every outfit category. If you have custom content for alien suits feel free to use them.

You have the choice between five aspirations: Friend of the World, Renaissance Sim, Soulmate, Successful Lineage or The Curator. Choose wisely because you’ll have to complete the aspiration for the challenge!

You must have aging on, but feel free to play on either Normal or Long lifespan. You can even edit your lifespan using MCCC if you’d like.

Start off on an empty lot. You can choose one from any world, but please be aware that you cannot move lots for the duration of the challenge.

Go into build mode and purchase the rocket ship (Steampunk Flyamajig) for 5,000 simoleons. It’s the only item you’re allowed to start with.

Once you’ve done that, use the cheat “money 0”. Oh yes, it’s that kind of challenge. You’ll have to make money by any means possible... but no cheating!

Now you’re good to go!

Your alien cannot start rebuilding their rocket ship until they have 10,000 simoleons, handiness level 5, logic level 3 and programming level 3. It might take a while so they better make themselves comfortable... They’re stuck on this planet, they have no way to communicate with Sixam and they don’t have the parts to fix their damaged ship. It isn’t ideal, but their only option is to try and make a life for themselves here until they can go home.

Your alien sim cannot wear their disguise and may only use mean interactions with other sims until they reach charisma level 3. They just crash landed on a strange planet. They don’t know anything about the inhabitants. They are confused and scared. They must figure out the language and culture of Sims before they can properly assimilate.

Your alien sim can only eat quick meals until they’ve reached either gardening level 2 or fishing level 2. The quick meals are meant to be dehydrated food packets native to Sixam, which your alien scavenged from their ship. They don’t know if the food on this planet will be harmful to them. They must do research to find out.

If another sim sees your alien without their disguise, you must either erase their memory... or kill them. It’s your choice which of the two options you pick. Regardless, your alien’s identity must remain safe at all costs.

Your sim may reveal their alien identity to another sim without any consequences once they’ve become Good Friends with them. Be careful, if the relationship bar goes down too much they may become a threat to your alien’s safety. If the relationship goes below the Good Friends range, your alien will have to eliminate them. They’ve known your alien’s secret for too long. Their memory can no longer be modified without doing serious psychological damage.

Please note, the above rule is actually from SqueamishSims’ Human Enough Challenge. I just loved it too much not to include it here!

Your alien sim can travel to lots in their own world, but if they want to go somewhere else they will have to pay 50 simoleons per visit. They don’t have the means to travel around! They must purchase a bus ticket or pay someone for a lift if they want to travel to other worlds.

Your alien can change out of their space suit and wear regular clothes when they’ve made their first 1,000 simoleons and reached level 3 of logic. At this point, feel free to give your alien a makeover. You can change outfits whenever you want after that without any limitations.

Your alien cannot have walls or floors anywhere on their lot until they’ve reached handiness level 3 and paid a property tax fee of 5,000 simoleons. They can only have one room to start off with. Your alien is starting from nothing and building from the ground up. They don’t have access to a contractor and need to learn about sims architecture.

For every extra room (i.e. a bathroom or a bedroom) your sim must pay 1,000 simoleons. Please subtract from your household funds using the “money #” cheat. Home-owning is expensive! Your alien sim is learning that the hard way!

Your alien cannot use romance interactions until they’re at charisma level 5 and they have three Good Friends. At this point, your alien sim is probably still under the impression that they’ll be flying back home very soon. They’re hesitant to pursue a relationship with a human if it isn’t meant to last...

Your alien can also be part of clubs when they’ve reached charisma level 5 and made three Good Friends. At least one of those friends must be part of the club your alien wishes to create/join. These sims know your alien inside and out and would protect them with their lives. They’re good people to have around.

Your sim cannot have a proper job until they reach charisma level 6 as well as handiness level 3 and logic level 3. This includes part-time jobs, odd jobs and freelance gigs. If your alien hardly has any social skills, how are they supposed to know how the economy works?

Your alien can only get engaged/married once they’ve reached charisma level 8, logic level 5, rocket science level 3 and have three separate rooms in their house (see above for the house-building rules). Your alien is beginning to realize this might be a bit more permanent than they originally thought. They’re finally allowing themselves to fall in love and imagine the possibility of settling down.

Bonus: If you have City Living, your alien must attend the Romance Festival to learn more about the odd social construct that is marriage.

Have your spouse join either the scientist, secret agent, tech guru, astronaut, politician or military career. They’ve made it their mission in life to protect your alien sim and help keep their secret safe from potential foes. However, the new job comes at a cost.

Your alien sim is now on the government’s radar. They have a chance of getting imprisoned by scientists or S.I.M.S. agents! If your alien sim encounters a scientist, secret agent, politician or military staff you must imprison them in a 4x6 cell on your lot. Inside you may place the cheapest toilet, refrigerator, single bed and sink. They must remain there until their spouse has paid 10,000 simoleons for your alien’s safe return... and murdered the abductor(s) responsible. As this particular rule is a bit more dramatic, it’s totally OPTIONAL!

Your alien sim has to have charisma level 9, rocket science level 5, parenting level 3 and cooking level 3 before they/their partner can become pregnant. They must also have a proper kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom and nursery/toddler room. They must be on level 3 of their chosen career. Making a baby is the easy part. Being a parent is hard work, and your alien sim needs to be prepared!

If you have risky woohoo enabled and your alien and/or their partner becomes pregnant before meeting the requirements, please deduct 5,000 simoleons from your household funds. If you don’t have enough, sell items in your home until you’ve paid off your debt. Welcome to parenthood!

At least one child must be conceived in the rocket ship. You can’t have a challenge focusing on aliens without some rocket ship woohoo! Come on now!

Have your alien return to Sixam with their offspring, but only for a visit. They’ve spent such a long time on another planet and have built so many good relationships. They’ve decided they want to stay.

Note: Your alien may have to return to Sixam a few times to obtain collectibles as those are part of the challenge.

To complete the challenge, one of your alien’s children must be a Young Adult. You can age up your toddlers when all of their skills are at level 3. You can age up your children and teens when they have an A in school.

Bonus: Send one of your alien sim’s children to university so that they can get a proper human education. It’s not actually part of the challenge. You’ll just have bragging rights.

You can use reward potions and traits, including the Potion of Youth. You can use lot traits. Once you’ve unlocked the ability to join clubs, you can benefit from their bonuses. Is the challenge too hard? Are you struggling? Hahaha good!

Have fun! Feel free to @ me if you’re posting this challenge on Tumblr or making a YouTube series, I’d love to see it! You can follow me on Twitter or support me on Ko-Fi if you’d like. No pressure!

You’ve completed the challenge when...

Your alien has maxed out three different skills. One of them must be rocket science.

Your alien has at least 5 Good Friends, not including their children. Their spouse does count toward the total! Pets do not count!

They’ve completed their aspiration.

They’ve “repaired” their rocket ship.

They’ve been married and had offspring. At least one child must be conceived in the rocket ship.

They have a home worth 60,000 simoleons.

They have a top secret alien lab in their basement.

In the alien lab you must have at least one fang flower, one glow orb, one quill fruit, one unidentified fruit object, one blutonium, one solarium, one crandestine and one nitelite.

One of the children of your alien has grown into a young adult and visited Sixam to learn about their parent’s world.

If your alien passes away before completing all of the objectives, it’s up to their offspring to complete the rest of the challenge.

#sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 challenge #sims 4 get to work #sims 4 alien #sims 4 among us challenge #among us challenge #melsie #among us info

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sunkissedpages · 4 years ago

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Is it wrong I feel kinda po’d that Tom gets to go have fun and film a movie with his friends while I’m stuck in the uk lockdown again. I feel like I have no right to be mad but at the same time I have a right to be mad because not just at Tom but other famous people have it easy like they don’t follow the rules and have money to wiggle themselves out of everything and Ik it’s the money they’ve earned and stuff but if I have to follow the fucking rules they should too. Last year of uni is ruined

it’s not wrong!! i totally understand- it’s my last year of college too and it blows that this is how we’re going out... i think it’s natural to be a little jealous, even a little annoyed at tom + the spidey cast bc of what their jobs allow etc. like yes they’re working and film production stimulates the economy blah blah... but it’s like not... essential?? i feel like a jerk saying that, but filming blockbusters rn just seems like a bad idea esp bc i think everyone is being less and less careful!!! so yeah it fucking sucks to sit at home, and watch them have fun and i don’t think you should feel guilty for feeling that way!!

and... tom is traveling internationally too which is just aksjdhdh i know it’s his job and i know he deserves to see his family just as much as anyone else but it’s a lot of back and forth 🥴 and i know he’s traveling privately but still also the uk is in lockdown now so is that gonna apply to him?? or...

** i don’t want to make it seem like i’m talking shit just to talk shit bc i do think tom is taking everything a lot more seriously than other celebrities (which like, the bar is on the floor but aksjsjsj) bc he quarantined in his house for months while his colleagues were out at clubs, parties, etc. and he’s been pretty outspoken about masks, social distancing, + all that jazz.

*** also not to be even more of a bitch but i feel like “earned” is relative considering how grossly overpaid film talent is... as the former secretary for my high school thespian troupe, what happened to bullying theatre kids?? we’re just giving them millions of dollar now???

#i hope they pause spidey filming for a bit #also don’t get me wrong actors are very talented and deserve good pay but this is ridiculous #answered #anon #wazzupdiscourse #tom holland #long post #tw: covid mention

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fortheheavenssake · 4 years ago

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MM ANON II - 1

April 15, 2020

1. April 15

MM ANON …… doctor gone batty……… LA for dummies ……… Doctors Within Borders ……… social insistence ………… hugs not bugs……… absolutely isolated Kate. ……… “ not a whisper ma’am ……… St George’s chapel of course!!…………… with humility skippy, with humility.

Mm anon verified

MM ANON … to forgive Devine. To accept ones shortcomings is a hard pill to swallow especially if like myself your behaviour Is mired in self justification and blind contempt … it’s taken me a long time to ask forgiveness ……… and pride is a killer of the spiritual light. To those who can find forgiveness on their heart I thank them, humbly and sincerely. ……… MM ANON

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3. April 30

MM ANON ……… the only virus ………… wonderful children to hug…… magnificent isolation ma’am……… dirty Megan,clean Harry ……… will never be the same ………… big things for a future princess ……… home cooking ………… “ ground control to major Tom” ………. “ and wash your bloody hands!!!……… an archificial birthday ………… trooping the colours???

Thank you! Happy to have you back!😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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4. April 30

MM Anon

MM ANON …… Many thanks skippy ……… a privilege to return to you all ……… graciously thankful to pg , skippy and all anons. Callidus er populum

Welcome back….😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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5. May 1.

MM ANON … it’ll cost us thousands …… “ ‘‘tis the times’ plague , when madmen led the blind “……… 🎼 all the clubs have been closed down 🎼………… “ if you both don’t stop fighting I’ll send you to Madagascar “ ………… “ one makes ones bed”…………… “ well wash your bloody hands AGAIN!!”…………… “ there so funny on screen Philip” …… Quo victuals est super eam et irrumabo …………… next slide please.

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6. May 2.

MM ANON ……… bless all who come here……… stay safe ……… not sneezing season ……… birthday girls world following ……… sitting on the toilet screaming and howling ……… Plasma fantazma?……… 🎼give a little bit 🎼……… “ I swear ,I’ll send you to bloody Madagascar “……… “another top up sir”………” leave the poor man be Philip “……… “no ma’am not yet” ……… Wilfred!!!!!………… “ Bloody Wilfred!!”……… conspirators will spread another sort of virus.

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7. May 3

MM ANON ………Lucrezia Markle……… For her own well-being … she’s kicking and sedated ……… safety net for Harry ……… a very private LOCK-down ………” GATEWAY“intervention …… “NHS Catherine , Sterling work darling “ …………” yes ,I love Frozen 2” ………… PTA……… “ your experience would be valued ma’am”……… “ I myself am best when least in company “……… absque misericordia

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8. May 4

MM ANON …… granny flap…… delusions of gran-tour…… “ aye, some wantid er’ but Walt dis-ney “…… a p****hub offer worth millions …… a secret return …… Lottie leaded Cambridge assault ……… “ a very prominent speech for VE DAY ma’am”. …… unlocking the unlock able ………… 🎼day by day…🎼………… pause ,pray, proceed. …… optimistic optimism???

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9. May 5

MM ANON …… Thank Dear anon for interpretation …… and yes if you’re struggling dear pg … prayers and hugs

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10. May 5

MM ANON ……… “ hi Kate , how wonderful to hear your voice “😂😂😂………… Archificialy archificial. ……… 🎼but sometimes,ya get what ya need🎼……… “ if you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue “……… a Duchess,a Duchess and a Duchess walked onto a bar……… tunc non transiet ……… an infectious tube……… my my margarita ……… let go let god. ……… ( and Thank skippy).

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11. May 6

MM ANON ………… archificial anniversary ……… “she hasn’t a bloody clue “ ………I speak for Meghan ……… 🎼he’s a real nowhere man🎼……… “ the fool doth think he is wise…… “………… 🎼come fly with me (not)🎼……… A few weeks more …………” we do the outside first Philip” ……… Bloody jigsaw………” Sydney!!!!! “……… “ Mmmmm , interesting, a virtual Balcony “ …………… “ yes , a new medal is appropriate” ………… unlockdown!!! ………… “ give us a hug”.

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12. May 6

MM ANON ……… Sooooooo , where is Harry in the duck / rabbit video????????????????? An archificial attempt to ingratiate herself as a mother of a surrogate child. She looks a tad sheepish ��🐏🐏🐏🐏🐏🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑. 😂😂😂😂

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13. May 7

MM ANON … Spider Sandwiches ………… the photographic phenomenon ………… “O Christ, she knows her way round a Cannon” ……… “ modest, small and incremental “ ……… “ she’s still spitting bullets over the duchesses children “ ……… “ my goodness, Charlotte trumps everyone”. ………… another modest outfit. ……… the books a flop, who would buy it? ……… “ dada duck duck”…………”ANOTHER sex tape!!!!! “…………… her irrelevant life………… desperately seeking ANYTHING………… a sad demise Rachael!!

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14. May 7

MM ANON …… dear and inquisitive anons ……… THE RIDDLES ARE “ ENTERTAINMENT “ only, a parody and lightness of spirit and soul! It’s a privilege to be here , by the grace of Skippy …………… enjoy!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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15. VE Day 75, May 8

MM ANON …… My mother was a plotter at Northolt fighter base in 1943 where she met my father who was a pilot, I remember her saying that the Polish pilots were the bravest men she ever met. ………… we shall remember them 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

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16. May 8

MM ANON …… The Queen, god bless her……… blackout ……… the king/ the Queen the nation ……… never give up, never despair ……… the home front……… 🎼some sunny day 🎼………… 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧………… 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸……… 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦……… and all who fought ……… a day like no other……… at the going down of the sun and in the morning ……………… ‘ we shall remember them.

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17. May 9

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜MM ANON ……… Dear pg , your gracious tribute to the riddle. I Ended the post in tears ………………… respect.

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18. May 9

MM ANON …… “ it’s an unlock Jim, but not as we know it “……… on yer bike……… 🎼that’s life,……🎼………… Bar Wars………… survival of the fit-test……………”a vulgar mansion “…………… Spider sandwiches……… an emotional exhibition, Bravo!! ……… now that’s TRUE grit…………… be- bop-a-loo-la RIP……… The Serenity prayer……thank you for this forum xxxxx…………… it will end ,…one day!!

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19. May 10

MM ANON ……… Rachel 43………… archificial 15 months ……… hospitality will become inhospitable ………… the R factor ………… “Henry, don’t do that”. …… return to school??? …………… no guidelines …………… be alert,the country needs lerts………… risk assessment!!! ………… an issue of safety ………… it’s the economy,stupid!! ………… test, Trace and isolate. ………… a silver lining 🌈🌈

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20. May 11

MM ANON …… Thrive???………… definitely Malibu ………wear a mask ………… confusing but amusing ……… a question of credibility ……… 🎼 we can be heroes ……🎼…” what ever happened to wrinkle cream?”……… love and hugs to all our anon friends ……… 🎼 now there are three steps to heaven 🎼………… Brave New World ……… a quiet Queen.

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21. May 13

MM ANON …… for saving my mother ……… father ……… grandmother …… grandfather …son ……… sister……… brother……… daughter ………… thank you for saving my life nurse / doctor /……… how can I EVER thank you all ……… from the bottom of my ❣ ……… I can never find the words ……… my gratitude is unending ……… god bless you all. ……… GOD BLESS YOU ALL!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

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22. May 13

MM ANON ……… “come on Kate, off to Queens”……… Charlotte goes first……… “George ‘ get your bicycle “……… 🎼bye bye miss American spy🎼……… 🎼listen , do you want to know a secret 🎼……… stay alert 🤣🤣🤣……… trains, planes and automobiles……… driving miss day-see? ……… FOUR!!!! …………… an art gallery,when??……… single prayers please.

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23. May 13.

MM ANON …………… to all who visit ………… riddles are entertainment only … a parody ,a light and fluffy expression. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂Thank you all for understanding.

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24. May 14

MM ANON …… school of thought ……… bulldoze in and takeover ……… Braveheart & Boris ………… dead theatre ……… GOT………… Charlotte summer ……… anticipation of antibodies ………… China???………… death of Hollywood ………… 🎼blow a little whistle 🎼………… we have no plan B……… I’m so bored ………… “ we’re gonna need a bigger fence”

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25. May 15

MM ANON ……… a lovely surprise ……… sweet Charlotte ……… it’s teaching Jim, ……………”Harry, you know you’ll always have a place “……………”he’s not happy Catherine “ ……… R1………… re-train………… clubbings, clubbed…… Tea-CHING…………… “ yes, that’s a really good question”…………2 metres for ever???………… a rally in Calais. ………… GBHMTQAOGC 🇬🇧🌈🇨🇦

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26. May 16

MM ANON …… “ I’m keeping my tennis shoes on”……… “I’m not getting out of bed for less than 3mill” …… cold nose undercover ………… a learning yearning ………… “friends thou hast, and there adoption tried “…… …… 🎼ya gotta give a little 🎼……………… “I’m not happy about them returning William “ …………… “ One needs ones hair attended too”………… “ I’ll bloody cut it myself !!”……… “ I know!! … SYDNEY!!”

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27. May 17

MM ANON …… a Diamond evaluator ……… Of no consequence whatsoever ……… straight to credits. ………… LA Confidential ………… 🎼no sir I don’t mean maybe 🎼…………… 🎼Don’t fence me in🎼…………… “ I want Adele you a story “……………… The man from U.N.C.L.E. Harry …………… “ ones lockdown sucks” ………… “ miserable without Boddys old thing “ …………… “Sydney’s slacking “.

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28. May 18

MM ANON ……… a personal loss………… the Dynamic Duo………… FPhishing……Nlcola Nike Snike ………… Hydroxy- foxy(do not do this at home)…………………” a suitable case for ( shhhhh) treatment “ ………… “ no comment “ …………… “ a game of cards old thing “…………… “patience Philip ……………” ………… ma’am , it’s Charlotte and George on tic-toc…………… “dance, gan, gan, you dance, … Sydney!!

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29. May 19

MM ANON …… Ana-adversity …… the gathering marital storm…………” first family visit will be the United States when normalisation hits ma’am” …………”life will return ma’am”……… Who is that? …………… guesting the testing ……… “ they won’t return early ma’am”…………… “one speaks to Catherine,daily , and the little ones” ……… “it’s interminable Sydney,” …” a Little top-up sir”

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30. May 20

MM ANON … Regarding the gathering of unhappy people, slutmeg only invited the men she had slept with , with their +ones ……… the members of the RF who attended treating it as a pantomime and a priceless observation of side- eyes and laughter. HMTQ look at slutmeg… EPIC. 😂😂😂😂😂😱😱😱😱😱

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31. May 20

MM ANON ……… 5 years old ‘ COVID security ……… transmission admission??……… 1st. June. …………… A pollution solution ………… free at last……… kiss 💋 me 😱😱😱………… another Father???…………… Spanish,French and judo 😂😂😂…………… lies,damm lies, and MM……… an expensive squat………… A Greece-y gamble. ………… “ is one sitting comfortably’ good, Once apon a time “

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32. May 21

MM ANON …… “what , seen at Lympstone “………… a Diplomatic retreat ……… A-Nul-ment………… NY bio-diver-city……… facegrime ………… Charles, a man for all see-sons……… thermal Heathrow ………… 1st Solo address ………… high-end-ing ………… “ clever children, such a lovely dance”……… “ no darlings gan-pops with Sydney “………… “ yes’ we’ll all bake a cake “………… “ pretty Jim-jams Charlotte “.

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33. May 22

MM ANON …… 88 two fat ladies ……… two blacked out Discovery’s in St Leonard’s ……… Priti Draconian …… pray,or else!! ………… gel my temperature ……… wash your hands then wrinkle cream ……… a memorial event ………… Hong-Gone…………” well, wake him up Sydney!!………… “bloody hell Sydney “ ………… “ sorry ma’am , Charlotte wants to play bingo”……… “ wonderful , clickerty duck”

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34. May 23

MM ANON …… 44 million? ………… anons’ how much on clothes?………… “still looked trash”………… evidences of past yachting 😱😱😱😱😱………… LA EX?? ………… “ in Exeter”…………… “ Josh Stones!!“………… a second peak? ……………not in Spain 🥳🥳🥳………… meanwhile in WC. ……… “ gan gan I want a tiara “ ………… “ and one day you shall “ ……… “ is nanny back Catherine?”……… “where’s my bloody slippers “ ……” your wearing them sir”

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35. May 23

ANON … As we all submit our little posts give a thought for the reason we can , it’s the ever faithful skippy and her eclectic forum ……… love, prayers, animals, history, royalty, and silliness ……… god bless you dear skippy 💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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36. May 24

MM ANON …… Cummings going?………Lottie nottie going ……… Harry’s 💡 idea……… “give birth? Incapable!! ……… “during yachting “………… “ I’ve seen the evidence “ ………… “ she lied to TBRF” ……… MOS knows!! …… 🎼we’re all going on a summer 🎼………… to pray or not pray………… “ Pleeeeez gan gan!! “……… “ one day you shall sweet girl” ……… “ next year , if things are admissible “ ……… “ he’s a tad grumpy ma’am”……… “ ignore him Sydney”

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37. May 25

MM ANON …… Charlottes WWWeb……… Rules, What Rules. ……… in flight,flight. ………… Tinsel down……… hugs not bugs ………… non essential retailers open ………… no pubs, sport , cinemas, theatres, …………… Cummings,a shaggy dog story. ……… a very angry electorate ………… “ I want to go school gan gan”………“let’s see your dancing “………”no, school gan gan!!……… “ Oooooo, whats mummy doing “ ………… “ Sydney, refreshments ‘please.

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38. May 25

MM ANON …… MEMORIAL DAY …IN HONOUR OF THEIR SERVICE ……………… 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇬🇧

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39. May 26

MM ANON …… Kate re-opening high street……… “excellent, as retail ambassador “……… W&K will have the public’s ear” …………”a late family tour ma’am’……… “ that’ll put a a Kate among the pidgins” …… “ a damaging tome sir “……… “ opening book shops, how’ll that work?……… “you can’t handle books……… “ o’ Philip, a quiet night”…… “ bloody hell !! What’ no tic-toc ?……… “nanny’s organised bingo”:…… “ ahhh, ……… Sydney ‘ something strong!!

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40. May 27

MM ANON …… KATE MIDDLETON IS A FUTURE QUEEN! She has three beautiful children and a loving husband, solid, grounded and intelligent. THIS IS THE FUTURE OF OUR MONARCHY ,I THINK SHE HAS MORE SPIRITUAL STRENGTH. AND WILL BE THE FOUNDATION OF THE CAMBRIDGE FUTURE. GBHMTQAOGC 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

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41. May 27

MM ANON ………”I get tired of Lottie tic-toc-ing” ………… “little Louis gets tired using the trampoline “……… “ I’m off to Queens,tennis “……… back on his Ducati……… Nanny is making 🥘 paella ………… “I’ve managed to acquire that box set ma’am” …… “ Gangs of London or The Sopranos“……… both ma’am”……… “bloody epic Sydney “……… “ is that bumbling Minister still running round the palace “……… “ tell him to piss-orf”……… “ top-ups”

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42. May 28

MM ANON …… MM drone ing on…… tittle Tatler ……… lockdown tour T-shirt ………… ahhhhhhh, rate!! ……… school digital haves’ digital have nots……… rid the clap!! ………… one metre ………… “ it’s football Jim, but not as we know it “………… “To his good friends, thus wide lle ope my Armes: ……… “ look Philip,it’s Louis bouncing “ ……… “they have a new dance”……… “ return of a routine“…………” Maria and Lottie swimming “ …… “bloody hydrotherapy on Sunday “……… “ I think that’s enough Sydney “

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43. May 29

MM ANON ……… looting/ shooting ………… “ tic-toc Nanny”………… “ ok! Charlotte, get Louis too” ……… “ George,do it properly “……… W&K , It’s a challenging schedule ma’am” …………” there having a bike day at Brands Hatch with Ducati “ ……… “ Nottingham cottage ma’am”………… “like old times ma’ am”……………” I’ll have a quiet word with Donald “………… “ not Philip, his diplomacy is wanting”………… “exiting times ma’am”……… “ one shall insist on compliance Christopher “

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44. May 30

MM ANON …………… another billionaire friend ………… she lies on lies…………desperate for attention ……… a roadmap to nowhere ……… up up and away ……… all white on the night …………LTA talks with Kate ………… MENSA with Charlotte??………… “ bright as a button ma’am”. …… “ not this side of the family “………” there coming over next week”………” Mmmmm , live tic-toc”……… fairycakes Sydney.

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45. May 31

MM ANON …… it Musk be love ……… nine elms………… agent provocateur ………… teetering on the edge………… body cams?? ………… amateur photographers unite ………… front line statue ……… 🎼I heard it on the grapevine 🎼………… “ no darling not today”……” we’re going to visit gan gan” …………”staying overnight ma’am” ………… “ a few days Sydney “………… “ tomorrow night, it’s a little concert Philip, don’t get grumpy “ ………… “bloody hell, I’m low on refreshments. “

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46. June 01

MM ANON … Balmoral Fern………… plastic Nile. ………… in the Bunker ………… Autopsy …………………Truth , Justice and the American way ………… WC welcome …………… “ would one know how to barbecue Sydney??” ………… William will oblige ma’am……”one prefers coronation chicken “…………… “unicorn sausages ,Lottie George??……… “just salad ma’am. “

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47. June 02

MM ANON ……… keep your distance ………” it’s a curfew Jim , but not as we know it “ …… “ A plague o’ both your houses “……… house today , gone tomorrow ………… “all lives matter “ …………… cut and roots and streaks ……… B&EC are reluctant to return ………… Minister misleads testing ……… office of national ridistics ……… 🎼I I see a bad moon rising 🎼………… blackout Tuesday ………… “ “wear a body-cam old thing, then I can pretend I’m riding “ …………… “one would look ridiculous Philip!!”……… “ Sydney, stop pouring “

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48. June 03

MM ANON …… 2020 another royal baby ………… development in Portugal ……… more charges eminent Minnesota ……… a wet summer ………… ISS a strange smell? ……… … London protests …………NAACP……… size 12 , and the shoes 👠 ……………” mummy , mummy- goes viral ………” we’ll old thing, I wasn’t expecting that ending “……… “ so enjoyable Philip ‘ anymore Sydney?……… “ I think Catherine has Peaky-Blinders ma’am” …… “ is it a bit GBH ? “ ……… “ yes ma’am”……… “Ohhhh goody”.

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49. June 04

MM ANON ……MM heartfelt acting……… W&K just heartfelt 💓………… the Tatler connection ………… 🎼stormy weather …………… 🎼………… MadDog…………2nd degree. X 4……………… 14 days to binge. ……… a Russian contamination …………vaccine summit ……… ”that’s a terrible selfie Philip, it’ll frighten her” ………” let Sydney do it!! “ ……… “take one together ma’am” ……… “ give me the bloody thing !! “ …… bloody tic-toc “ ………… “ one zooms” ……… “get him some refreshments Sydney”

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50. June 04

MM ANON …… “ Heartfelt video “ anything heartfelt in the life of MM is self indulgent. A selfish PR attempt to seem engaged in the national conciseness Her agenda …… “how can I make this about ME!!! “ this woman is so shallow. ………… a Caucasian of infinite insults. A pitifully example of insecurity and ego. A walking talking resentment. God help her!!

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51. June 5

MM ANON …… never look a gift bandwagon in the mouth…… everyone is crawling out the woodwork ……… “I’m covert 19 , fly me” ……… M&H on the March??? ………… over 40,000………… flight attendant/ ……… the dodgy R…………… mandatory masks ………… The Amazon too ??? ………… online celebrity … “ There here Philip “ …………” one has to distance darlings “ …… “ yes there lovely shoes” ……… “ look Philip, live tic-toc “………” it’s wonderful wonderful “ ………… “amazing, he’s shot up “ ………” shall we have a little refreshments?”

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52. June 6

MM ANON …… the battle of Whitehall ……… agent Provocateurs………new trading …… it’s a Sunday Jim ,but not as we know it ………… social distancing got wet……… antibodies have the answer ……… R is above 1 in the SWest Of England. 😱😱😱😱……… second spike😱😱😱………🎼when I was 65 ,it was a very good year 🎼………… “ look it’s mummies wedding “ ……… “it’s mummy gan gan” ……… “ yes , so pretty the coach “ ………” I want one “ ……… “ one day sweetie, one day” ………” will you come gan gan ? “ ………… “ I’ll try darling “.

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53. June 7

MM ANON …… I’d like to thank pg /LK and all the anons who attempt/ solve and interpretations of the riddles that skippy graciously lets me post 💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💓💓💓🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧Many thanks to all those who partake.

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54. June 7

MM ANON ……who’s her next favourite millionaire ……… Malibu?? ……… NYC??……… another sad video cry for help ……… archificial ( firsts words) 🤣🤣🤣………… mad / bad & dangerous to know ……… “ it’s me, me film me!! ………… “ turn around!! “ ……… “ he’s not letting her agenda rule” ………” this is not up for debate “………… “yes ones looking forward to traveling up there “ ………” get in touch with the Gillie” …………… “ can one travel to ones other residence?…………… “ can’t find my bloody glasses, Sydney!!

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55. June 8

MM ANON ……D.O.J.……… A Stern retort. ………… the sept. Soothsayer ……… A 14 day suicide for the trade………… in court today ……… Beatrice tooo tu!! …………… wonderful Wessex……… more photos from Kate??? ……… no fuss birthday ………… “ shall one suggest a gathering of 8 .” ………” no, silly’ Balmoral?? ……… MM desperatum iri videbatur……

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56. June 9

MM ANON ……… everyone and their brother,brother ……… wow!! What a photo Kate!!…………… little Louis gets a surprise …………… a well rounded future of three( four) ……… A birthday tic-toc dance………… “ do Catherine , come and bring the children “………… “maybe a change of routine “………… “ Both of you are an example hope”……… “ yes George,I’ll see if we can get to a match”

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57. June 10

MM ANON … Gone……………everything is now B&W…………… “ but’ tomorrow is another day”………… “ but old thing, I look like bloody Bela Lugosi” ………… “ shutup Philip”……… “ just Take the bloody picture “.………”they’ve hardly ever been on a train William “………… “ yes , they’d be very excited 😜 “ ………… 🎼we’re all going to the zoo tomorrow 🎼…………… she lies for exposure……… yachting’ secret exposure !! …………… this time it’s explosive!! ………… “ great scoop Beth.”

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58. June 11.

MM ANON …… dib dib dib……… one metre before July …………care-ing monarch online ……… 🎼What picture,what a photograph 🎼………… DOC museum of photography ? ………. Columbus falls……… “ I shall insist it’s the best TTC old thing “ …………a trace race. ………… Sunday Balmoral?? ………… “ plenty of fresh air for them” ……… “ in the lodge” ……… “C&C can stay here” ……………” your good at this zoom lark old thing “…………… “Group Of eight, a dinner party

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59. June 12

MM ANON …… for the anon who thinks she has superior knowledge of the riddles and has a problem with the wonderful interpretations of LK and pg. ……… I suggest you join the other ignorant anons who pay us a fleeting visit ……………THEN DISAPPEAR!! Skippy, we’re the ones who love you 💜💜💜💜💜

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60. June 12

MM ANON …… my BFF , sacked……… mr President,welcome ……… on mental health ‘ goal……… “they’ll still turn up old thing “………… “ they won’t see anything Philip “ ……… Boris,incandescent!! ……… “🍕 Pizza night children “………… “ thecrown old thing “ ……… “ NO!!” ………… “ we haven’t finished peakyblinders” ……… “ bloody brummies” ……… “ PHILIP!!………… Sydney ‘ we’re out of your refreshment sir “ ………… WHAT!!

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61. June 13

MM ANON …HMTQ was social distancing ……… beautiful in blue……… “ amazing bloody parade “…… to Broach the subject …… “ you looked magnificent old thing”. ……… KHAN GET IT RIGHT …… a WEE disturbing …… hugs 🤗 not bugs……… the China syndrome ……… open market 😱😱😱………… won’t ring Beijing …………… “ Ahhh, Sydney, you refreshed the refreshments “ ………” ignore him Sydney “………… “ I found an old vidio TTC , 1975 Old thing, our favourite hits” ……… “ those were ones days” ………” we looked the mutts-nuts old thing

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62. June 14

MM ANON …… Adeleville……… Westfield?? ………… Charlottes delivery …………… 🎼grab the cash with both hands🎼………… another scam charity …………… she’s a race… ist ………… she publishes the book ………………… we will destroy her, we have the tapes…… “ no more Mrs, nice ma’am!! “ ………… “ ones gloves are orf Christopher ………… “ it was a very good year,old thing “.

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63. June 15.

MM ANON ……… Shetland lift-off……… LIZA with a ‘ don’t know em……………” it’s shopping Jim, but not as we show it……… “ matter of fact it’s all dark” …………… first jet easy ………… Brexit,old white guys drinking a lot. …………… a moment of reckoning ……… a virtual Wimbledon?? ………… Catherine to the rescue …… “ Ahhh , a relaxing night old thing “ …………… “Sydney’s provided a new box set” …… “Boardwalk Empire” ………“ bit violent old thing” ……… “ Epic Philip!!”…… “ones usual Sydney “………… “great!! No bloody tic toc.

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64. June 16

MM ANON …… “she Ascot nothing on me” ………… para-thanks William ……… PC , LOST weight??…………Oxford,Oxford ……… STIR-oid ………U-Turn dinner …………… falling tragedy ………… the Paris peasants are revolting ……… ……… “ we can still dress-up cabbage 🥬 “ ………… “Anne, my yellow ensemble”……… “Sydney ‘ a photo”………… “that’s a keeper, old thing” ……… “ here we go , tic-toc, the three of them” ………… “O, and Catherine!!” ………… “ ehhhh, And William “ ………… “ make it a double Sydney “…… “ how entertaining Philip “

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65. June 17

MM ANON … Goal no goal, offside!! …………red zone……… rear ended,whoops!! ………… saliva sample ………… another rally?? …………… a £ 900,000 paint job. ………… madam NYC incognito …………ZOOM to William ……… mutant outbreak confirmed ……………… NDA bombshell. …………joining the UN? …………… Chile lockdown ………”how many episodes old thing “ ………… “ yes , that Nucky chappie is a tad violent” ………… “ she’s meeting at Wimbledon “……………… “ Nanny’s taking them to the zoo”

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66. June 18

MM ANON ……… “NEVER………… “ ………” mon dieu” …… 🎼some sunny day 🎼……… “ good to meet again Mr President “………air corridor ……… “ to be honest,he was an obnoxious old bastard” ……… world beating 🍒……… non app- licable …… “ Bolt-hole. ………… self interest ……… BOE- more money!! …………… pepper sprayed……… “ O Philip, it’s the last one “……… “Always Downton Abbey old thing”

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67. June 19

MM ANON …… HMTQ boost……… cup cakes in kings-him ………… Garden-send-her ……… September kids ………… hack Australia ………… Bei-ching ………… Charlotte & George together ………… no longer alert ?? ………… “ get packed Philip we’re orf soon” ………debt, what debt? ……… slave day………… ONS………… “ bubble bubble- toil and trouble” ……… 🎼teach your children well🎼………… “Sydney ‘ don’t forget my tigger PJs”……… 🎼swing low,sweet chariot 🎼………… “ Cabbage ‘ it’s tic-toc time”.

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68. June 20

MM ANON ……… Hello!! ………… “ It’s a rally Jim , ……… viva espana ………… 🎼drink, drink, drink,🎼…………… black wall……… MM , another agenda!! ………… bollotics ………… “ Kate and William,the children are with nanny “ ………… “ Dover Sole and lemon parfait old thing “………… cream caramel,and Irish coffee Sydney!! ………… “September 9th ma’am. …… “ Stay over Catherine “

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69. June 21

MM ANON … give us a hug………… Duchess of Cambridge Royal collection ……… in the footsteps of lord Lichfield ………… EOS C700 Christmas present … … “ slow the testing down”…………Kung-flu…………… Size matters………… reopening NYC……… “ get ya hair 💇🏽‍♀️💇🏼‍♂️cut” …………… “ 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️🍺 “ ………… Rachel for president?? …………… archificial daddy day?? ……… spotted in St Johns Wood.

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70. June 22

MM ANON ……… noose-car……… Ahhhh, Germany……… BOE-meltdown ………… free at last………… testing the TEST!! 🏏……… Terrorisk ………… ONE ,small step………”I think She’s turning Japanese”………… Saint Lennox …………… A rush of wind…………… “ well now you’re free to be reunited with the little monsters”……… “ bloody hell’ what a joy” ………… “ O Philip ‘ hugs 🤗 lots of hugs” ………… “ and live tic-toc , I can hardly wait “ ………” I’ll have to muster some liquid courage, Sydney!! “

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71. June 25

MM ANON ……”they seek him there” ……… your services are no longer required ……… street rumble ……… phwew, wot a scorcher………… we’ll fight them on the beaches ………… it’s sunburn Jim , but not as we know it ………… mutation sensation ……………🎼you’ll neeeeeeever walk alone🎼……………… sign on the million dotted line ………… take the TRASH out…………… “ a letter ma’am”.

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28 notes · View notes

themangoyogurt · 4 years ago

Text

Misguided Youth: One More For The Road

Chapter 4

Spilling out onto the pavement, you leaned over with two hands on either knee. Pulling in thick drags of cold air into your lungs, you willed yourself to calm down before someone found you crying in an alley for no apparent reason. Just as your resolve began to crumble, familiar hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you up. You found yourself pressed against Jyn’s chest as she tugged you into a tight hug.

“Oh my God, what happened, babe? I’m so sorry I missed the concert! My manager asked me to stay longer, but I came as soon as possible!”

Pulling back, she held your head between two gentle palms as she looked into your eyes searching for some sort of answer. You began to choke out, “The...the asshole from the bar was Kylo Ren of Knights of Ren! He...he...I’m just a big fucking joke to him! He totally brought me here just to make fun of the fact that I didn’t recognize him.” Jyn’s eyes turned to steel as she turned to stare at the door.

“That motherfucker. Wait here!” She screeched as the angry woman made a beeline for the employee entrance. You lurched forward to grab her wrist and cried out, “No! I just want to go home and forget that this ever happened! I’m so fucking over Kylo and his shitty attitude.”

Jyn’s eyes flitted between yourself and the door before a mischievous grin spread over her face. She tightly gripped you by the shoulder and replied, “Nope. Hell no. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve been many things, but never a quitter. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed you back down from anything or anyone.”

Tugging you down the alley towards the street she continued, “Not only are we going to that afterparty, but we’re going make Kylo Ren regret ever pissing you off.”

You were heading up in an elevator and nervously staring at your reflection in the mirror within the metal box. Noticing you tugging at the hem of your skirt, Jyn reached over to slap your hand away from the garment. “Get your shit together, girl. Remember - if looks could kill.” Nodding along to your best friend, you stood a little straighter as confidence surged inside your chest.

Jyn had immediately dragged you to the nearby apartment of a mutual friend and her sister. After explaining your situation to the Tico sisters, the trio immediately set to working on your outfit. Jyn was hellbent on turning you into a vision, and decided that the best way to irritate Kylo Ren was to dangle a snack in front of him that he’d never have the pleasure of tasting.

While smudging dark kohl eyeliner underneath your eyes she had scoffed, “The best way to piss off a man who doesn’t understand the word ‘no’, is to tell him that that precise word”. While your eyes were darkened in a black smokey eye, your lips were painted in a crimson red. Rose set to pulling your hair into a slick high pony-tail as Paige dug around the back of her closet.

The tall Asian woman emerged behind a pile of clothes and laughed, “Man, I haven’t seen these garments since my clubbing days in college! Good thing I’m a hoarder.” She continued to giggle as she tossed a short black shift dress onto her bed. A pair of fishnet stockings landed next to the dress.

Eyeing the tights you exclaimed, “Uhh, there better be pants with this outfit, because I swear to God, Paige.”

Rose doubled over in laughter while Paige rolled her eyes. She jabbed an accusatory finger in your direction and huffed, “Don’t even try and act like a saint. I’ve seen you strut around Meatpacking in nothing more than a -“

It was Jyn’s turn to howl as she watched your cheeks redden at the memory. Paige gave you a flat stare and held up the dress. “Look, the hemline is still respectable. We’re definitely going for an ‘oh I could care less’ vibe, but you still want to look sexy. Remember the endgame - make Kylo drool but don’t look desperate. Besides, since when did you care so much about saving your piety?” She mocking pressed her palms together in a faux prayer between sweeping off to find you a pair of heeled boots.

The women worked quickly so that within the hour you were standing in Kylo’s private elevator shooting up to his penthouse. You were dropped off in a foyer, and Jyn’s grip tightened around your hand as she pushed you forward towards an open door.

His home was enormous and surprisingly tasteful. It just made you hate the man even more. Floor to ceiling windows adorned the entire place, showing off a glittering view of the New York City skyline. The place was filled to the brim with tons of people, and you swore you saw some celebrities sprinkled amongst the mix. Jyn only confirmed your suspicions as she squealed, “Oh my God, I think that’s Paul Rudd talking to Poe Dameron!”

Poe Dameron was a the former member of a popular boy band, who skyrocketed to fame after going solo. Jyn leaned over to whisper, “I heard that he got into a public feud with Kylo! Apparently America’s favorite bad boy called Dameron the creator of ‘pansy music’.” You rolled your eyes - that definitely sounded like the Kylo you’ve had the displeasure of getting to know.

Lifting your chin up a little higher, you strutted into the room. It was too late to back out now, and you were set on seeing your mission through. You would show Kylo Ren that he had no power over you, and that he could laugh at your expense all he wanted as long as you were drinking up his expensive liquor. You instinctively found yourself by the wet bar with Jyn as she grabbed a bottle Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

“A little heavy handed there wouldn’t you say, Jyn?” You quirked an eyebrow at your friend as she all but emptied a quarter of the bottle into two waiting glasses. Rolling her eyes at your response, she leaned over the counter to grab a bottle of Patrón. Splashing the liquid into two shot glasses, she teased, “These small enough for ya?”

Nudging the woman with your hip, you swiped the glass and downed the clear liquid in a single go. Jyn cheered and tossed back her own glass. Slamming it down, she reached over to the whiskey and shoved the full glass into your hand. She shot you a mischievous look and laughed, “You still gotta finish your glass. Can’t waste anything in this current economy, right?”

Looking over the rim of your glass, you slowly scanned the room as you ignored your friend’s antics. When you had first moved to New York, the two of you became fast friends during freshman year of college. Most of that year was a haze of partying and what your mother would have deemed “wild behavior”.

Jyn had dubbed herself the “Robin Hood of Dating”. Stuffy rich prep boys were always drawn to her for some reason. If they acted like douches then Jyn would provide payback in the form of bleeding their bank accounts dry through a series of unforgivingly expensive treats and dinners. Her biggest talent was probably the fact that she’d clean out their wallets without even shedding a single layer of clothing.

Fortunately the two of you emerged from your youthful dalliances rather unscathed. Was your GPA something to write home about? Probably not. But at least you lived a little, right? While you settled on (surprisingly) getting into grad school, Jyn wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. One thing she knew for sure was that the woman was so over higher education.

You weren’t really sure what Jyn did now. She cycled through so many part-time jobs it was hard to keep up. You started to mull over her short-lived career as an actress (deceased prostitute number two on Law & Order SVU season six) when she snapped her fingers in front of your face.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

She took in your confused expression and shook her head. “Come on, girl. Now is not the time to relax. We need to find Lord Dickhead and then get the hell out of here, okay?”

You nodded and quickly downed your glass for courage. Jyn smirked and patted your back. “Atta girl,” she cheered. Looping an arm through the crook of your elbow, she pulled you away from the bar to circle the room.

Meanwhile, Kylo was nursing his own glass of whiskey as his eyes trailed behind you like a shark. You weren’t wearing that just a few hours ago. His grip was like steel as he thought about your earlier confrontation. Most women would have been all over him by now. At the very least excited to get free Knights of Ren tickets. Not only were you the opposite of thrilled, but he didn’t even catch who your guest was.

He was pretty sure he overheard Phasma tell Mitaka that you were bringing someone named Jim. What kind of name was that anyways? Kylo irritatedly thought that the guy sounded obnoxious. He probably had a full-time job and 401K. Kylo bitterly thought that Jim probably had a college degree.

Just as he thought his night couldn’t get worse, he caught sight of Poe Dameron making his way across the room towards you and a female who looked faintly familiar. God, he fucking hated the pretentious prick. The only reason Kylo barely tolerated his presence was the fact that he was grew up with Phasma and the pair were still good buddies.

Poe caught up to you just as Jyn stopped to grab another drink from the bar cart.

“Here, let me help,” he smoothly interjected as he reached over to grab an empty glass. Normally Jyn would roll her eyes at “chivalry”, but she caught sight of Kylo’s death glare towards the pop singer and smirked. She tilted her head and coyly giggled, “Thank you! I’m Jyn, and this beautiful single lady is my friend...”

The brown haired woman choked as you sharply elbowed her in the rib at the words “single” and “lady.” Poe caught the action and laughed at your playfulness. Slipping a full glass into your hand he replied, “Hello, ladies. I’m Poe.”

If you weren’t planning on murdering your best friend, you certainly were about to. The woman suddenly turned to you and exclaimed, “I need to run to the restroom. But I’m sure Poe wouldn’t mind hanging out with you for a little bit while I’m gone?”

Ever the gentleman, Poe enthusiastically agreed and Jyn took off before you could protest. The singer watched as you quickly downed half of your glass and dryly joked, “Whoa. I never said that I was great company, but I didn’t realize I was doing so poorly already.”

You shook your head and laughed. “No, no. It’s just...I didn’t really come here to party.”

“Then why did you come?”

“I’m...geez, it sounds really immature and petty if I say it out loud.”

Poe grinned and topped your glass off as he replied, “I once signed on to be a spokesperson for a leather jacket company just to spite a vegan ex.” You tilted your head down and let out a wheezy laugh.

“Alright, but promise you won’t judge me?”

Poe stuck out a pinky finger, and you wound your finger around his own. “Promise.”

“Okay. So, Kylo Ren kind of royally pissed me off tonight, so I came here to try and irritate the shit out of him for retaliation. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll execute my plan though, since Jyn was the mastermind and now she’s nowhere to be found.”

A glimmer shone in Poe’s eyes as he casually leaned forward to whisper, “Well, you’re just in luck. I can’t stand the guy either, so why don’t we help each other out?”

You were one shot of tequila and two and half glasses of whiskey into the night.

So yeah. That sounded like a good plan.

Nodding along with the man, you softly gasped as he wound an arm around your waist. Stepping forward, he brushed his lips against your ear and murmured, “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” You could barely push the syllables out of your mouth as you replied, “What...what are you doing?”

Poe remained in place as he quietly replied, “Finding out whether or not Kylo Ren is a patient man.”

Your spine stiffened at the unexpected physical contact, which didn’t go unnoticed by the man. He pulled back slightly and softly continued, “I’m honestly not planning on giving you more than a hug, but we can totally stop. Just say the word.”

Willing your shoulders to relax, you snaked a hand up to rest your palms flat against his chest. “No, I’m fine. I appreciate you letting me know. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Poe nodded. “Okay, good. Because you kind of need to look somewhat interested for this to work.”

You tossed your head back in genuine laughter as the tension dissipated. Poe cracked a wide grin and the two of you continued to chat. While the conversation itself was the furthest thing from flirty, (sure, IRA contributions are tax-deductible, but if you want penalty free early withdrawals then...) your physicality told a different story.

Once in a while, Poe would reach up to play with the bottom of your ponytail as he wrapped a few strands around his fingers. You, on the other hand, continued to slide your palms up and down his chest while tilting your face up to laugh at his jokes. It was when Poe reached over to cup the back of your neck with his hand that Kylo lost it.

He hadn’t even realized that his feet had begun to move. Somehow, he crossed the entirety of his living room and ended up awkwardly standing in front of yourself and Poe.

The pop singer smirked, “Uh, hey man. Can we help you?”

You turned so your hip was flush against Poe’s as you leaned a head against his chest. Quietly staring up at the man, you tried to conjure a look that was equal parts innocent and “fuck you”.

Shit. Kylo hadn’t thought through his plan of action. He quickly supplied, “Yeah. Your friend is looking for you.”

You raised a single eyebrow and asked, “Who?”

Fuck. Kylo looked around and took a chance. “Uh, your friend from the concert. Jim.”

Jyn? Although, you could have sworn he said “Jim”. It was super fucking loud though, and you weren’t exactly sure what he said. You certainly weren’t about to embarrass yourself by playing five rounds of “what did you say?” and having the man repeat himself. Extracting yourself from Poe’s side, you turned to give him a faux sultry gaze. “Sorry, Poe. I gotta find my friend. Call me later about that date?”

Poe nodded and gave you a wink, satisfied that the two of you had successfully riled up your mutual enemy.

Kylo held himself back from straight up hissing, and reached over to aggressively tug your wrist into his wide palm. He jerked you away and practically dragged your body across the living room. Just as the two of you disappeared around the corner and out of eyesight, Poe was suddenly joined by another person.

Arms crossed with an evil smirk on her face, Phasma stepped up and offered the man a high-five.

“Thanks, Poe. I owe you one.”

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren #reader insert #misguided youth #modern au

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kyndaris · 4 years ago

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2020: Unprecedented Times

Most people, at the start of the year, had high hopes for 2020. For many, it was the start of a new decade (though, ask anyone on the street and the start of a decade is open to debate). Here in Australia, the start of 2020 merely carried on the disasters of 2019. Beset by bushfires all along the Eastern coast, we watched as our tourism numbers slump as the denizens of Sydney wore masks as a means to fight the harmful effects of smoke inhalation. Many small businesses, particularly in small towns, felt the brunt of the natural disaster. Homes were destroyed by the thousands. Worse was the fact that livelihoods that were dependent on visitors from all around the world (in particular, China) were also badly affected.

Why would anyone come to Australia, after all, when there was smoke in the air and the air quality was teetering on dangerously toxic?

Many hoped that once the fires had petered out, however, life would return to normal. Little did they know that by March, the world would be caught in the grips of COVID-19. After all, though there were the occasional news headlines of a new disease plaguing China in early January (which resulted in me warning my grandmother that maybe she not go over to celebrate the Year of the Rat), most people were focused on Donald Trump’s impeachment.

Then, of course, there was the assassination of an infamous Iranian general: Qasem Soleimani. Once again, the world’s attention was arrested by the acts of the United States of America. Most were worried that the tension between Iran and the United States of America would boil over. At the time, it almost felt like a repeat of Trump’s antagonism towards North Korea.

In the United Kingdom, Brexit was well underway. After his re-election in December 2019, Boris Johnson continued his negotiations for a way that Britain could leave the European Union.

On a more personal scale, Australia was wracked by sport club funding scandals and climate change protests.

As for me, I was more concerned about the video game delays. Now that I write this, in December of 2020, I look back and think that perhaps it was appropriate for Cyberpunk 2077 to have been delayed until next year in order to fix the bugs that have the plagued the title ever since launch. Still, I was also vastly disappointed that Vampires the Masquerade II would not be releasing anytime soon. And saddened to hear that The Last of Us Part II had been pushed back.

After COVID-19 swept across the globe and taken hold in most countries and continents (which now extends to Antarctica thanks to a few Chileans testing positive), I watched as stupidity rose to the fore. Lockdown protests, the politicisation of the wearing of masks and the attacks on East Asians. Despite the severity of the virus and how infectious it was, I was disheartened to see so many people flout social distancing rules and break lockdown requirements. Most notably among the rich and famous such as politicians and NRL (National Rugby League) players.

Of course, being in Australia, our bid to ‘flatten the curve’ proved incredibly effective. Articles I’ve read indicate that this was mostly due to Australian’s observance of laws and regulations, as well as our trust in science. In fact, I’ve heard the refrain, ‘at least we’re not America’ spoken quite a few times this year. And honestly, after looking at the statistics, with the Land of the Free having upwards of 18.5 million cases with 326,000 (and counting) deaths, I couldn't agree more to the sentiment.

The whole ‘do as we say, not as we do’ approach by its President further served to fracture society and gave rise to conspiracy theories that served no purpose but showcase the height of people’s ignorance and distrust. It didn’t help that most Western countries also placed more importance on the ‘economy’ than people’s lives. Many global leaders were of the opinion that the ‘cure should not be worse than the disease’ and that a few deaths to keep the budget afloat was a necessary evil.

Well, to that, I say, ‘Bah! Humbug!’ Without acting decisively and quickly, many nations have ruined their economy AND seen their people die in droves. When people are falling sick and suffering from long-term effects, they’re hardly likely to spend money. Nor will they be able to contribute to society and be able to continue working. Instead, you’ll be saddled with additional welfare taxes. By going hard and fast, closing down the economy for two months, maybe three, you can bounce back harder and stronger without fear of contagion.

Now, many countries are struggling with high numbers of new infected each day AND an economy that’s in tatters. Good job.

It also doesn’t hurt to give back to the community and help struggling businesses. Schemes such as Jobkeeper and Jobseeker (at least in Australia) were able to alleviate some of the stress for many workers. And honestly, perhaps if the world had implemented a universal basic income, this would also enable people ensure their basic needs are met without sinking into poverty.

The fact that so many only see the short-term rather than long-term is astounding. And as for Sweden’s model? The less said about it, the better. ‘Herd immunity’ without a working vaccine? Madness. Utter madness. Particularly when the virus is airborne.

After enjoying a decent summer, numbers rose again in Europe and much of it was back under lockdown. A new strain, that has proven much more infectious, was discovered in the South of England! Trump tested positive for COVID-19, but to the dismay of many, he recovered quite quickly.

But 2020 did not end there. Once again, the struggles between ethnic minorities were brought again to the limelight. The death of George Floyd saw the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement and served to highlight the disproportionate number of those living in poverty and in prison. As a person of colour myself (being of East Asian descent), I tried to explain some of this to my colleagues. But some of them saw Black Lives Matter as a predominantly American issue - and disregarded the fact that many Indigenous Australians were also in prison, caught in a vicious cycle of crime and violence.

It wasn’t long, however, that Australia experienced its own second wave in Melbourne, due to breaches in hotel quarantine. And honestly, it came as a surprise when it also happened in Adelaide and we learned that they weren’t testing hospital workers or those in high-risk workplaces on a REGULAR basis. You would have thought that all workers that transported aircrew or worked as security for those quarantining in hotels would be temperature-checked and given a swab every few days (or at least once a week). But no.

This is why we can’t have good things.

Christmas in Sydney has also been somewhat neutered by the fact that there has been another sizeable outbreak in the Northern Beaches local council. And, of course, many people in Greater Sydney have been barred from other states. Gotta love those hard state borders where we treat each other as separate countries. Still - if it protects the people, the Premiers will stop at nothing. Even if it means families can’t be together. But better that than seeing Australia become the United States of America.

Jumping from COVID-19, 2020 also saw an explosion in Beirut due to the storing of large amounts of ammonium nitrate at the port. Approximately 178 people were killed and more than 6,500 were injured. Locust swarms in Africa descended upon crops, threatening food supply and livelihoods for millions of people. The West Coast of the United States of America suffered from catastrophic wildfires. Meanwhile, in south-east Asia, countries were hit by flooding and typhoons. As a side note, Armenia and Azerbaijan restarted their ongoing feud.

And to cap it all off, 2020 decided to further traumatise the future generation, a suicide video was uploaded to Tiktok.

And oh, the US election. Where our favourite President tried to delay and impede mail-in-votes. In the days following the 3 November 2020 election, the world eagerly watched as the votes were counted and each state was certified. Trump, as is always his way, attempted to claim victory in the early hours of the morning of 4 November 2020, before deriding voter fraud with no evidence to substantiate his claims.

The weeks that followed saw a number of lawsuits that were lodged. Most, of which, were simply dismissed out of hand. And while his supporters have continued to claim that fraud was evident in the 2020 election, there has been no substantial pieces of evidence provided. Affidavits and hearsay, fortunately, do not a case make.

In Australia, our once promising relationship with China took a turn for the worse. While instances of racism, after the initial COVID-19, did not help, it also seemed that the finger pointing among government officials and demands for inquiries into wet markets only served to fuel the fire between the two nations. After initiating a trade war with the United States of America, China then saw fit to put significant tariffs on Australian beef, barley, wine and coal (to name but a few).

The spat between Australia and China also took on a more insidious tone when several Australian journalists were forced to flee.

And with the unveiling of alleged war crimes committed by Australian troops in Afghanistan, the relationship between the two nations have come to an all-time low. China’s tweet of a doctored image that had an Australian soldier about to cut the throat of an Afghan child saw our Prime Minister taking to social media to demand an apology.

All in all, 2020 has felt like both an incredibly short and long year in equal measure. For an introvert, such as myself, it’s been mostly the same. In fact, I can’t believe that it’s already at an end. Though my gaming has continued, as has my writing, I felt like I hardly interacted with any of my friends or did anything conducive to my social skills. While I’ve been made permanent at my place of work, it’s also felt a little stagnant. For a good long while, particularly in March, it felt like we were on the cusp of something huge and terrible. As the numbers climbed, I desperately wanted a hard lockdown to be called when leaders vacillated.

2021 does not promise to be much better. While vaccines have rolled out in several countries, it’ll be a long time coming before the world manages to attain a sense of normalcy. For this blogger, I look forward to just kicking back and finally getting my hands on a PlayStation 5.

As for anyone that has worked on the front lines during this pandemic, I just want to say a big hearty ‘thank you.’ All of you have sacrificed so much and seen so many terrible things. I wish that we all listened to your warnings instead of inundating emergency rooms thinking COVID-19 was a hoax.

Remember: keep at least 1.5 metres away from another person, wash/ sanitise your hands regularly and wear a mask if you can’t socially distance or are in an enclosed space.

#personal blog #2020 year in review

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dherzogblog · 4 years ago

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songs/20

Happy Holidays Everyone! I started making these yearly playlists in 2001 as an attempt to connect with friends in the wake of 911. It was just before the dawn of ITunes, and way before social media. We were not in touch like we are today. I burned dozens of individual cd’s one at a time, printed up customized jewel case covers and snail mailed them all out. It was an annual month-long labor of love. Over the past few years, streaming music has made it much easier and faster to compile and distribute, and frankly much more fun. I still look forward to putting the playlist and blog together and sharing it with all of you. Particularly this year as it gives me a chance to connect with so many friends I haven’t seen in quite some time. It was a tremendously challenging year for all of us. I was grateful to have had my family here in LA the entire time, we remain healthy and well. The west coast Herzogs know just how lucky we have been. The next year will not be without its own challenges, but I'm hopeful we are able to move past this pandemic and the exhausting events of the past 4. More than that, I look forward to seeing each and every one of you in 2021. Until then, be safe, be well, and be good to one another. Enjoy the music.

ox peace, dh

Los Angeles CA. December 2020

Khruangbin - Time (You And I) Don’t ask me to pronounce the name of this eclectic trio from Texas, but this dubby disco tune had me returning to its chilled out groove often during the last few decidedly “un-chill” months. Dreamy and funky, the groove takes me back to NYC’s early 80′s club scene and Ze Records releases from the likes of Kid Creole and Coati Mundi.

Anderson .Paak- Lockdown Scenes from the front, June 2020

Bill Withers (1938-2020)- Use Me The legendary Bill Withers left the playing field at the top of his game in the early 80′s, hardly heard from again. And while he didn't pass from Covid, his healing pop hymn Lean On Me seemed to be everywhere as people found music to help them cope with the challenges of the pandemic. Withers left behind a legendary and enduring group of hit songs that moved easily from soul to folk to pop, not to mention the subtle rolling funk of this one.

Black Pumas- Fire Strong debut from an unlikely Austin duo that garnerd both buzz and grammy nods. The critics are calling it “psychedelic soul”. Not quite sure that nails it, but like the artists coming up next, they’re carving out new ground while drawing inspiration from classic sources.

Gabe Lee- Babylon

Marcus King- Wildflowers and Wine

Charley Crockett- Welcome to Hard Times

Three artists that are literally changing the face of Country and Americana music. Soulful, authentic and diverse, reaching back for inspiration but always looking forward. If you like this sort of stuff they are all worth checking out. Each album is filled with quality songs.

Low Cut Connie_ Private Lives Philly’s Low Cut Connie are back at it with a double album that plays like the soundtrack to a boozy night at your favorite bar. Sweaty, funky and not a little bit messy. If Peter Wolf and Bruce had a kid it would be this blue eyed soul boy. Adam Weiner grew up in the shadow of the Jersey shore and can't help but have a bit of that E Street hustle.

Willie Nile- New York at Night One of New York’s beloved adopted son’s dropped this love letter right into the jaws of a battered metropolis driven to its knees by the pandemic. It was heartbreaking to listen as the “city that never sleeps” came to a full stop. Somehow I still found myself coming back to it, imagining night’s ahead, when NYC is back on its feet and I’m roaming its streets. Looking for music, a beer, or maybe just a slice, and fueled by the irreplaceable energy and promise of the greatest city on earth.

The Long Ryders- Down to The Well Americana pioneers the Long Ryders reunited last year for a surprisingly solid album. This single sounds like it could have been recorded during their 80′s heyday featuring their trademark Byrds like jangle and harmonies, but the lyrics mark this song as unmistakably 2020.

The Speedways- Kisses Are History UK power pop outfit reach back to the the 60′s on this sweet slice of retro pop perfection.

Billie Joe Armstrong- That Thing You Do

In the early days of the pandemic we had all our kids (+ a significant other) at our house for a few months. It worked out great and we were luckier than most. The biggest issue was keeping enough food, weed and wine around. There were some great nights with amazing meals, followed by gathering around the TV together. We re-watched The Sopranos, binged Billy On The Street, and revisited some of our favorite movies. One night we went back to a old family favorite, Tom Hanks’ underrated love letter to the one hit wonders of the post Beatles era, That Thing You Do! I’ve seen the movie several times and it never fails to please. A true feel good film and a perfect Kodak snapshot capturing a simpler time in American pop culture.

While we watch the unlikely chart topper’s The Oneders fizzle as fast as they rose to fame, its not really the point. The movie is really an old fashioned love story. Playing like a perfect hit song you can listen to over and over, full of both hooks and heart. I always thought the title track, written by Fountains Of Wayne leader Adam Schlesinger (who we lost to Covid), brilliantly captured the British Invasion sound every group wanted after The Beatles stormed America. Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong must agree. During the pandemic he cut an album’s worth of cool covers including a faithful version of this one.

Gerard Way (W/Judith Hill - Here Comes the End A tale of discovering music in 2020: Heard this on a Netflix trailer for the series The Umbrella Factory. Turns out it is performed by Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance) who also writes the comic book the series is based on. (got all that?) He’s joined on this searing garage/psych rave up by the talented and versatile Judith Hill doing her best Merry Clayton.

Hinds- Spanish Bombs I’ve been following this Madrid based, all female outfit of punky garage rockers for a few years now. I think they are pretty great. This track, recorded for a Joe Strummer tribute bursts with an unbridled joy the stone faced and politically minded Clash could never muster. I bet Joe would love it though

The Secret Sisters- Hand Over My Heart Have enjoyed their harmonies for some time now. This one gives me vague Wilson Phillips vibes and I don’t really mind.

Tame Impala- Breathe Deeper I know I’m supposed to like this guy, all the cool kids do, I’ve even seen the band at Coachella. Over the years very little of the music has stuck to me, but the pandemic offered a bit more free time to dig into this funky dubby, chilled out jam, and it stuck with me. Not to mention that 2020 was all about deep breaths.

Ledisi (feat.Corey Henry)- What Kind of Love Is That Ledisi is back with some slinky, sultry R&B and jazzy vocals

Dinner Party- FreezeTag An R&B/Jazz collective featuring Terrace Martin, Robert Glasper, 9th Wonder and Kamasi Washington use sweet soul on heartbreaking and all too familiar tale..

Toots and The Maytals- Time Tough I’ve written an awful lot about my love for Reggae over the years. Right after Bob Marley kicked the door down for me, Toots showed me around the house. Ska, rock steady, and roots. He was true reggae royalty and sadly we lost him to Covid, just after he released what would be his last album. Check my Toots tribute blog and playlist.

Mungo’s Hi Fi- The Beat Goes SKA! These clever UK roots reggae collective never fail to surprise. This kitschy Sonny & Cher cover managed to make me smile every time I heard it. No mean feat in 2020

Stone Foundation (feat. Durand Jones)- Hold on To Love Frequent collaborators with Paul Weller (he appears on a track on the album), Stone Foundation are back with another batch of their UK soul revival stylings. This one features Durand Jones ( of Durand Jones & The Indications) on vocals and some great reggae style horns at the top.

The Pretenders- You Can’t Hurt A Fool Can’t resist a good torch song, especially sung by the smokey voiced Chrissie Hynde. Was kind of shocked at how many good songs were on this album.

Shelby Lynne_ Don’t Even Believe in Love Sultry country soul and one of her strongest albums in awhile.

Jaime Wyatt- Neon Cross Outlaw country has a new bad girl. And in case you didn’t think she was serious, she enlisted producer Shooter Jennings (and his mom Jessi Colter on one track) to help make her point.

Daniel Donato- Justice 25 year old guitar prodigy call his music “cosmic country”. Ok, now I’m listening. You should be too.

The Jayhawks- This Forgotten Town 30 plus + after their debut this Twin Cities alt country group led by founding member Gary Louris continue to deliver. They find their inner Neil Young on this one.

Lucero- Time To Go Home God I wish I was in a bar right now listening to this, even if I might be crying in my beer.

John Prine (1946 -2020)- Lake Marie We lost so many this year, but this one really stung. A true American songwriting treasure, who was still making great music against all odds right up to his untimely passing. His songs are known for their simplicity, and economy of words. but this one goes against the grain. I’m still not exactly certain what it’s about. Sorrowful and haunting, yet somehow uplifting and redemptive. I heard him perform it live here in Los Angeles a just over a year ago and it has stuck in my head ever since. There is surely a place in heaven for the great John Prine. He sang about it on his final studio album in 2018. Ironically it became the last song on his last record.

Thanks for making it this far....

***Play the entire songs/20 Spotify playlist HERE!***

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insanityclause · 5 years ago

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In the longest scheduled extension to date of the blackout of Broadway theaters prompted by the COVID-19 pandemic, trade organization the Broadway League announced Tuesday that the 41 top-tier New York theaters that went dark March 12 will remain that way at least through Sept. 6.

That's a full three months beyond the last extension, which bumped back the original April 12 end date for the closure to June 7. However, few pundits are expecting to see theaters open for business Sept. 8, the day after Labor Day, which falls on a Monday when most Broadway theaters remain dark. The situation seems likely to be reevaluated as that date approaches, with producers and theater owners adopting a wait-and-see policy in accordance with state guidelines and other safety and economic considerations.

"No one wants to get too far ahead of the governor on this," said one prominent producer who spoke off the record.

"While all Broadway shows would love to resume performances as soon as possible, we need to ensure the health and well-being of everyone who comes to the theater — behind the curtain and in front of it — before shows can return," Broadway League president Charlotte St. Martin said Tuesday in a statement. "The Broadway League's membership is working in cooperation with the theatrical unions, government officials and health experts to determine the safest ways to restart our industry. Throughout this challenging time, we have been in close communication with Gov. [Andrew] Cuomo's office and are grateful for his support and leadership as we work together to bring back this vital part of New York City's economy — and spirit."

The League's decision follows last week's announcement from the Society of London Theatres, extending the shutdown of live entertainment venues in the British capital through June 28. Like Broadway, that date appears to be a marker rather than a set plan for reopening. West End theaters have been canceling performances on a rolling basis, which seems certain to continue through the summer.

Broadway was the first sector in New York to impose a blanket suspension of operations on March 12, and most insiders expect it to be one of the last to come back.

In a sign that producers are approaching reopening with the utmost caution, the Broadway revival of Neil Simon's Plaza Suite, starring Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker, announced Tuesday that it will be pushed back by a full year, with the limited engagement now scheduled for March 19-July 18, 2021, at the Hudson Theatre. Directed by Tony-winning actor John Benjamin Hickey, the comedy was originally scheduled to begin previews March 13, the day after the Broadway shutdown, and was one of the fastest-selling productions of the spring.

"We remain deeply committed to bringing Neil Simon's Plaza Suite to New York as promised and cannot wait to help welcome audiences back to our beloved Broadway," said Broderick and Parker in a statement. "Until then, everybody please stay safe."

While some have floated the idea of theaters reopening with socially distanced seating plans, few if any producers think that model would work given Broadway's exorbitant running costs. The more likely scenario involves temperature checks for theatergoers along with compulsory masks and gloves, no intermissions and deep-disinfectant cleaning of auditoriums between performances. But many questions remain, including how to provide adequate protection for actors in productions that don't allow for social distancing.

The famous William Goldman quote about the film industry seems especially applicable to post-pandemic Broadway: "Nobody knows anything." But the smart money seems to point to an early-2021 reopening, with anecdotal estimates ranging from January through March.

In what could turn out to be a harbinger of things to come for many of the country's stages, Minneapolis' Guthrie Theater, one of America's largest and most respected nonprofits, last week took the bold step of announcing that operations will resume with a compressed mini-season of just three productions running March-August 2021. That represents a massive reduction from the originally scheduled 11 shows, with a budget slashed from $31 million to $12.6 million. Those drastic measures make necessary allowances for the time required to build and rehearse productions, underscoring the complicated logistics for the theater sector of emerging from lockdown.

A Shugoll Research industry survey this month indicated that only 41 percent of New York theatergoers say they are likely to return when theaters resume activity, while almost 1 in 5 people, or 17 percent, say they are very unlikely. More than half those polled, or 58 percent, said they will wait at least a few months before attending a show.

When theaters went dark, the 2019-20 season was just a little beyond the midway point, with another 16 productions scheduled to open before the April 23 cutoff for 2020 Tony Awards consideration. An announcement was made March 25 that due to the coronavirus shutdown, the Tonys would be postponed to a later date to be set once Broadway resumes activity.

Two Broadway shows that had begun previews when the lights went out — Martin McDonagh's Hangmen and a revival of Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? — have already announced they will not reopen after the suspension ends. Other shows from nonprofit producers that were about to begin performances have been pushed back to next season, including Roundabout's Birthday Candles and Caroline, or Change; Lincoln Center Theater's Flying Over Sunset; and Manhattan Theatre Club's How I Learned to Drive.

With Plaza Suite also now postponed, that still leaves nine incoming productions in limbo, some of which had minimal advance sales and muted buzz at the time of the shutdown, even less so now. How many of those will forge ahead with opening plans remains to be seen. Uncertainty also hangs over established shows that had started to see a slight decline in business after the initial boom period — Mean Girls, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and even Disney's Frozen among them.

Many are quietly wondering about the wisdom of coming back to half-empty houses even for long-running behemoths like The Phantom of the Opera, which relies heavily on tourism for the majority of its traffic. Even the most optimistic estimates don't anticipate the return of tourists to New York in sizable numbers before summer 2021 at the earliest.

If most of Broadway's 41 houses do reopen, the likelihood of swift financial casualties and prompt closings could mean many prime venues will sit vacant for the first time since the slump of the 1980s and early '90s. The steady growth since then, which propelled Broadway to a record $1.8 billion in grosses last season with attendance of 15 million, now inevitably seems headed for a major reset. Some industryites are asking whether this will mean renegotiating ticketing price scales, landlord percentages and union rates to bring down the prohibitive costs that put Broadway off limits to many entertainment consumers.

Losses to the sector are difficult to calculate, especially with no certainty about a reopening date, but 2019 box office grosses for mid-March through Labor Day totaled $915 million. Industry analysts generally estimate that factoring in the losses to theater-district businesses fed by the Broadway economy — hotels, restaurants, bars, parking garages, taxis and car services — means multiplying total ticket sales by three. That would peg the overall financial blow for the six-month period at a staggering $2.7 billion. At any rate, the impact on one of New York City's principal economic drivers and job pipelines will be devastating, with the fallout sure to be felt for years to come.

As for the Tony Awards, there are two principal schools of thought about which way to go.

Some are lobbying to put a cap on the partial season and present awards for the shows that opened before March 12. This, however, would handicap recent openings like West Side Story and Girl From the North Country given that not all of the Tony Nominating Committee will have seen them and certainly not the majority of voters. Shows that opened early in the season, on the other hand, like Moulin Rouge! and the limited-engagement, Tom Hiddleston-led revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal, would have an advantage.

The alternate plan is to combine the truncated partial 2019-20 season with any shows that open between the resumption of Broadway operations and the late-April cutoff for 2021 Tony consideration, presenting the double awards at a ceremony in June next year. That option also has clear disadvantages for some, however, given that voters have notoriously short memories and shows like Betrayal or The Inheritance that have long closed will be ancient history by then.

Whichever route the Tonys choose to go, there are sure to be disgruntled players. But even a partial ceremony of outstanding Broadway artistry right now could serve as a much-needed morale booster to a sector facing unprecedented challenges.

#Broadway #Tonys #Tom Hiddleston #Betrayal

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welcometoitalia · 6 years ago

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21 Cultural Pointers about Life in Italy

1) TIME: Kick off your shoes, throw away your watch... everything is relative. Whilst much has improved in recent years, trains, buses and people tend to work on an "approximate" timetable. Learn patience and go with the flow.

2) LANGUAGE: Other than in Northern Europe, English is not as widely learnt and used in Italy. Until recently, French was promoted above English. Italians suffer from a sort of language inferiority complex so that even those who do speak good English are convinced that they do not and therefore only speak when absolutely necessary. A common mistake in listening to an Italian speaking his mother tongue is to assume that they are angry or excited. This is not always the case as you may witness in seeing two Italians "argue" and then kiss each other on both cheeks and disappear for an Aperitivo (pre-dinner drink).

3) NATIONALISM: As reflected in regional dialects, modern Italy was actually only unified in the mid 1800's. Still today, great divisions exist between North and South. This means that culture, traditions and life style vary significantly between the various provinces. True allegiance is to the local town or province and less to Italy as a whole. If you want to compliment an Italian, remark kindly on his home town.

4) POLITICS: Often called "the Politics of Favors", politicians don't fade away, they just become prime minister for the 10th time! Bringing down Government is a national pastime, averaging nearly one government for every year since World War 2. Reflecting the national divide, Italy has a strong ex-communist and a strong ex-fascist block. Most Italians believe the country is successful despite the best efforts of the government; tax avoidance is another national obsession. One of Italy's stronger parties is dedicated to the break up of Italy. Lega Nord (Free the North) has a passionate following - in the north! To mis-quote Beppe Grillo, a famous Italian commentator: “One Italian makes a Latin lover, two together can never agree, whilst three make up four political parties.”

5) DRINK: Italian bars often double up as coffee shops as there is a much more limited drinking culture than in other European locales. Italians on the whole do not have a "drinking culture"; many bars reflect this less intense relationship with alcohol, although the club scene is more "traditional" in its appeal. Wine is often less expensive than bottled water and whilst a staple feature of Italian meals, it is very rarely drunk to excess.

6) FAMILIES: Careful of stereotypes but, whilst waning, the family is central to everything and all. It is normal for unmarried children to live at home, even if they are in their 30's and 40's. Children move away... to the house next door! ;) ... and shouting between balconies to borrow some sugar is common. The grandmother plays the role of matriarch and family members like to turn up for a meal and are gladly received.

7) RELIGION: Catholic, of course (about 90%). Strangely though, Italy now has one of the lowest birth rates in Europe, So called Mafia bosses may fastidiously attend church on Sunday and married Catholic men may happily have an “amante” (lover). Many Catholics are uncertain if they are Christians as well as Catholic, such is the hold and “brand” strength of the Catholic church. Church attendances are, however, in decline and the number of new priests has declined by 85% in the last 50 years.

8) SPORT: One thing all Italians agree on is the national football/soccer team, often referred to as Italy's "true" religion. When Italy won the World Cup, people took to the streets in their cars, blowing horns, standing on car roofs and the entire nations transport system ground to a halt for hours as Italians demonstrated their passion for the game. Other sports take a back seat although cycling, volleyball, skiing and Formula One have their place on the front pages. One of the largest selling national newspapers is entirely dedicated to sport (LaGazetta dello sport).

9) WORLD AFFAIRS: Not our affair... so who cares, right?

10) FOREIGNERS: In most cases are greeted with enthusiasm and delight, although heavy non-European immigration has started to create phobia and resentment of the non European invasion in recent years.

11) FOOD: Italians are passionate about... Italian food! So much so that even when abroad, many Italians will go out of their way to seek out the nearest Italian restaurant. Each region of Italy has its own "local dish" and each dish may be prepared in a different way according to local custom. A wedding meal may last more than 6 hours and feature up to 20 courses. Such is the strength of Italian food that finding a Chinese, Mexican, or other type of restaurant outside the big towns is a challenge.

12) DRIVING: The Italian zest for life is well reflected in the Italian driving style! Cars are viewed as a status symbol; Italy has one of the highest percentages of Mercedes owners in the world. Speed limits, like train schedules, are considered approximations. Recent clamp downs and a new point system is beginning to dampen this zest and the best advise for foreign drivers is not to panic if a car cuts in, speeds by, or tailgates you. Don't worry, they have had lots of practice and are very good at it!

13) QUEING: Or lines. Until recently, the concept was an enigma for Italians. The advent of supermarket deli ticket lines and other such devices are being readily adopted and even when no line exists, Italians appear to have an uncanny sense of when it's their turn.

14) GREETING: Even vaguely familiar acquaintances will kiss each other on each cheek, but a hand shake will suffice. “Buongiorno” (formal) and “Ciao” (informal) being the classic accompaniment, followed by "come stai?" - the (informal) “how are you?”. In English-speaking countries, it's normal to reply "fine, thank you" even if you feel awful, in Italy they may well tell you how they actually are! Failure to greet or say goodbye to somebody can be taken as an insult.

15) FASHION: Italians will generally conform to the latest fashion trends, colors and styles, indeed foreigners can easily be spotted, even in a crowd, as they often do not conform to this hidden code. Italians take pride in their dress and are much more brand-conscious than some other nationalities.

16) BUSINESS: Italians prefer to do business with those they know and trust (hence, the relatively low success of Internet companies). Unlike some other industrialized powers, the back bone of the Italian economy is based on people, not multinationals. This is reflected in the proportionally high level of family businesses. Even large Italian businesses are often originated, directed or owned by a family (Benetton, Fiat etc). The local family shop concept still prevails, even though supermarkets are beginning to change the fabric of shopping.

17) PLANNING: Whilst many Northern Europeans are busy planning their next summer holiday in September the year before, summer holiday catalogs in Italy are not even printed till March! Planning ahead is considered restrictive and often Italians will decide what to do for the weekend on Saturday morning. Don't try and force Italians to plan, or expect next seasons bus timetable to be published months before.

18) EUROPEAN: Italy is a great believer in “voting European”, agreeing to many issues and then simply not implementing the directive. Italians themselves see Europe as an escape clause from their own government's perceived incompetence and corruption, however when put to the test, Italians in reality dislike anybody who tells them how to live their lives. Most Italians were enthusiastic about the Euro, until they found that most shop keepers used it to increase prices twofold.

19) HUMOR: Warning: “Sarcasm is not defined”. Do not try sarcastic or ironic jokes on Italians, many will think you are serious. Humor is a lot more lighthearted and obvious (Benny Hill was a big hit) and Italians are not afraid to make fun of themselves. The famous Oscar-winning actor and comic Roberto Benigni once remarked: “If the Berlin wall had been built by Italians, it would have come down on its own.” The prime-time nightly comedy program “Striscia la Notizia” goes out of its way to poke holes and find humor in Italian news and politics. Few Italian comedies work well when translated but have an avid following in Italy itself.

20) TELEVISION: Italians love game shows and reality TV (Big Brother is a yearly event). Like Italian fashion, brand names are important. The host's "brand" is critical and what he or she wears is critically examined. Nearly all shows feature "dancers or assistents", nearly always women, and nearly always clad in mini skirts and revealing tops. Where other countries would cry foul, Italians revel in the female form and are happy to have it presented to them as often as possible, even when totally irrelevant to the show.

21) HOTELS: Contrary to popular belief there is no unified star rating system in Europe. Each country provides its own system. A hotel's ambience is not assessed in any system, only facilities. In Italy, a 3-star hotel will have a restaurant, on-suite bathroom, bar, and lounge area. Room sizes in Italy are below the European average, mainly because many hotels are converted residences. Most hotels are family-run with attentive, very friendly service and homecooked meals. It is not unusual for the grandparents to take over responsibilites when the owner is away or to be greeted during school holidays by the 14 year old son (who probably speaks better English than the parents). This family atmosphere is one of the charms of smaller Italian hotels.

Oh, and one last warning: be careful of the stereotypes. Whilst you can always draw a thread (or even a rope) of similarity (as above) between the nationals of a country, the extent and size of the thread can vary.

Edited and adjusted from an article by A. Reed, a Brit in Brescia, Italy

#italians #europe #europeans #culture #culture clash #stereotypes #customs #italy #italia #humor #politics #food

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