#do people have strong opinions on this? i honestly do not see why it matters...

[rollercoasterwords]

Hi! I was wondering if you would maybe be willing to talk a little bit about your decision to use a beta reader? I feel like some people have very strong opinions about this, whether it’s for or against, but I think most of the writers who I follow on here actually don’t use them (barring you of course lol). I guess I’m just curious why you prefer to use one, and how you found someone you trust enough to read over your work before posting. And if you’re willing, what exactly is your beta looking for? Spag check, plot holes, or something else entirely? Sorry this is long, I’m just very interested in all the unique ways writers go about their processes! Thank you :)

sure lol i started working w a beta reader back when i was writing atydsp bc people kept commenting abt misused britishisms/how obvious it was that i was usamerican (which was fucking annoying btw lmao) so i was like ok let me see if i can find a british person 2 check my shit...at that point i hadn't made this tumblr yet + was totally clueless in terms of how 2 actually like. interact w any sort of fandom community so i v clumsily made a tiktok account + was like "um british ppl if anyone wants 2 help please dm..." in the endnotes of a ch. + i just got lucky that the person who i connected w ended up being really great + has continued to help me out w other works (hi vi if ur reading this <3)

generally speaking i just ask a beta reader 2 check for any obvious misused britishisms in my chs, but i know some people will look for help w more in-depth editing, plot holes, etc. i guess technical fandom terminology might be "britpick" and not "beta reader" for what i'm doing but...idk idrc what it's called. and later down the line when the first person i connected w was too busy i found someone via tumblr after i'd started interacting more w ppl + sort of had a bit more a community (hi mayane if ur reading this <3) so now i have. two really great people who help me out who i've just become pals w over time <3

[earwig5]

it’s kind of crazy that both fallout new Vegas and fallout 4 have the same driving force for the first half of the narrative (find the guy who wronged you and make him pay) but Benny is so much more memorable and narratively interesting than Kellogg.

It’s a matter of a strong character foil versus a weak one, in my opinion.

Benny and the courier are very much alike. They are both ambitious people who are willing to do anything possible to stack the odds in their favour. Honestly, Benny and the courier are the same card, reversed.

The Sole Survivor and Kellogg are also intended to be character foils. The game tries to convince us of this with the scenes in Kellogg’s mind, where we see that he ‘isn’t so different’ from our protagonist after all. But we don’t know anything about Kellogg other than his backstory. How can he parallel the protagonist if we don’t know which traits he has? Which traits the two of them share?

(As a side note, I wish Fallout 4 had touched way more on the ‘Man/Woman Out of Time’ thing. The protagonist being frozen in the past + Kellogg being functionally immortal would’ve been really cool to explore! Especially in the context of grief!)

In the end, I think the reason Benny is a more powerful character foil is that he doesn’t disappear from the world when you kill him. The chairmen can mourn him, House will comment on it, and even NPCs across the Mojave will talk about Benny’s death!

In Kellogg’s case, the protagonist is basically the only person who knows he even existed! Once he’s dead HE’s DEAD! He disappears completely from the narrative! As soon as you leave fort Hagen, the game doesn’t bother looking back.

that’s why Benny is a more haunting force for new Vegas; particularly an independent courier. You are Benny’s legacy because you are what he leaves behind whether he likes it or not. People remember him as the couriers victim. Meanwhile, nobody remembers Kellogg at all. The memory of who Kellogg was dies with you, and you can choose to forget him.

[nightscarab]

haikyu!! headcanons - seijoh main four

slight suggestive themes in matsukawa's

iwaizumi hajime

100% without a doubt, works out to relieve stress. it's an escape from his problems (oikawa) and helps him take out his anger in a healthy way.

his favorite color is definitely red. i don't know why he just seems like a red guy.

literally gets SO pouty when he's surprised with something. it could be a gift or a party and he'll get so pouty. he's so emotional i love him

he loves LOVES when you grab his bicep. it makes him feel so strong and manly and proud it's so cute his face lights up.

contrary to popular opinion, he LOVES physical touch, but only with specific people. he just loves feeling loved.

whatever you cook for him, he'll DEVOUR it. he'll literally eat it up he loves food especially if you're the one who made it.

oikawa tooru

he has major separation anxiety. when he's in argentina you know damn well he's spamming the group chat with messages and calls.

his friends mean everything to him. he'd abandon volleyball for them anyday. he'd never admit it though...

a horrible, terrible liar. cannot lie to save his life, he'll start laughing or smiling. his voice cracks if he tries to drag it on too long.

when he falls in love, he's in LOVE. the gc is spammed with messages about how much he loves his gf and pictures of her followed by long ass paragraphs.

if he ever catches you in his jersey, oh honey... you're never gonna hear the end of it. he'll do a whole photoshoot of you in it, it doesn't matter if you just woke up. he thinks you look stunning and now it's his lockscreen wallpaper.

the SASSIEST man alive. he'll give you so much attitude if he's pissed off. you gotta sit his ass down and tell him to cut it out cause it gets BAD.

matsukawa issei

i don't see him as a smoker honestly. however...he is a big drinker. beer, whiskey, rum and coke, you name it, he'll have it.

super handsy. can't keep him hands off you, he needs to be touching you at all times. whether it be a hand on your hip, waist, thigh, head, or an arm around your shoulder, he's always touching you.

working in a funeral home, he sees a lot of grieving families yk.. he has nightmares that one day he'll be the one grieving you. please hold him tight at night!!

king of midnight snack runs! it's 4am and you're hungry? no problem! let's do a cvs run. oh you want taco bell? it closes soon better hurry!

has the LONGEST eyelashes you've ever seen. it's not even funny how are they so long. he looks great with mascara, he'll even beg you to put it on him so he can show off to oikawa. (he does, in fact, get jealous)

jams out with hanamaki to 2000's white girl songs. i'm talking christina aguilera, britney spears, natasha bedingfield, etc. it's their favorite way to mess with hajime. (he secretly loves it though)

hanamaki takahiro

matsukawa might not be a smoker, but hanamaki totally is. he doesn't smoke often, but when he does he comes back higher than a kite. he only smokes to relieve stress.

our dear boy is unemployed, but he still tries to spoil you as much as he can. you want that swimsuit? you'd look so hot babe of course he's buying it for you.

not a very touchy person, but he tries to make it up to you by spending time with you. he'll stand by you in the kitchen while you're whipping up some coffee for yourself. he sees you on the couch? now you guys are watching a movie together. he just loves being with you.

late night drives with takahiro are to die for. you've never had this much fun in your life. the city lights and the music blasting from the radio lifts you to a high you've never felt before.

uses hot cocoa flavored chapstick. he stocks up during the winter since it's a seasonal flavor (which he thinks is super annoying) but you complimented him on it once and now it's the only one he uses.

on twitter nearly 24/7. he posts his every thought and somehow they go viral. he prides himself on that and comes to you every time his tweet blows up. "look babe! my tweet hit 100k retweets."

[grapefives]

REVÓLVER SEXUAL | HC

supernova trio x gn!reader (separately)

very light angst + implied nsfw + hispanic/latin reader + past fat shaming + insecurities + fluff + mentioned past unhealthy mechanisms

a/n: totally not self indulging. this has been in my drafts for a year LMAO please like 🧍🏻‍♀️

૮ ּ ۟ monkey d. luffy ׅ ۫ ✧

when you first joined the crew, luffy KNEW you had some sort of trouble with food

you were so hesitant of EVERYTHING that he found himself insisting and making sure you ate well, along with sanji

“y/n, eat more.” you felt like he was your MOM.

you could hear the “estas muy flac@” from your family members or the “ni que estuvieras a dieta” from your mother

but it was so HARD to say no to luffy, captain or not.

you still didn’t have a healthy relationship with food, and still felt a little guilty if you found yourself eating more than you FELT like you should’ve

sometimes you’d go all day without eating until luffy drags you for dinner, it’s not that you did it intentionally, you just don’t find it in you to eat

honestly, it worried luffy but he never really commented on it

all he would do is make sure you at least ate

but when you would play with your food more than eat or even just stare at the plate before you, he would frown and actually force feed you

“Y/N YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND HEALTHY SO WE CAN BEAT EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT WAY!”

yet, one day he finds out you literally had an issue with eating, you had mentioned it to chopper and he just happened to overhear

then it clicked why you were always squirmy during intimacy

and WITHOUT FAIL, to your surprise, he started being reassuring to you

he’s always a sweetheart with you, your hype man regardless but this time you knew his intentions were for you to understand you shouldn’t worry about your physical appearance

his eyes were ten times more tender outside the bedroom

yet, when it came to intimacy he was like a hungry animal— kissing, biting and grabbing. it had taken you aback at how specific he was being, but you still melted into him

he made you forget the voices that would say “hide that” or “don’t let him notice” but he made sure you understood that he’ll love you regardless of what you think

and he’s an eater

he’ll eat you up. always.

૮ ּ ۟ trafalgar d. law ׅ ۫ ✧

he’s a DOCTOR. man’s knows when someone is off.

he mistook your lack of interest in food for a stomach bug, genuinely concerned and forcing you to take pills and medicine

lowkey made you feel bad and ashamed to the point you came clean

medical confidentiality right?

😭 the face he gave you!!

“it’s unhealthy to neglect vital nutrients to your body.”

very stern about your meal intake, takes it upon himself to make sure you eat what you can stomach at first and make sure you grow comfortable with both him and food

he’s sweet really, just shows it in private

he literally sits you down and asks you what you would like for your body, because if you have any concerns then you MUST attend them CORRECTLY

no more unhealthy mechanisms

and he falls even more in love when you seem more radiant, more confident.

he’d come up from behind always and just plant a warm, wet kiss on your ear before whispering a compliment on your appearance

he made you feel like no one else’s opinion mattered anymore.

literally it didn’t matter if people commented on your weight, the results you were having made you feel confident

he was definitely surprised when you’d initiate intimacy, when you’d devour him like a starving animal

“someone’s hungry,” he teased once, but when you had paused, he realized his wording must have affected you

he low key panics and stutters out an apology but you smirk at him

“for once i don’t feel guilty for eating-“ and you devour his heart and soul too

૮ ּ ۟ eustass kid ׅ ۫ ✧

i’m sorry but this doofus was really oblivious about it until killer pointed it out

he was so mad at himself. how dare he not see your issue with food?? he thought you gave him your leftovers out of love!!

dude he’s like, an insensitive giant thinking he’s being helpful

it made sense of why you were always trying to put off intimacy or why you’d try to make him see less of you

“i don’t give a damn about how you look. why would i care?” he asks.

in his head he was being sweet and saying “i love you just the way you are.”

but it made you feel like shit

you were already struggling with feeling right with yourself, and he comes and says he doesn’t care? maybe you’re being sensitive but even that made you feel worse

it felt like you’ll never be enough for anyone, even eustass.

you never felt like you mattered, but growing up your weight put labels on you. you grew up with insults being used as nicknames, yet you felt like eustass saw you as nothing

“why aren’t you eating?” he asks when he notices you still aren’t developing a good eating habit, some days you eat well and others you either overeat or don’t eat at all

“does it matter?” you huff.

“i give a damn when you could get sick!”

“you said you don’t give a damn about how i look, so shut up about what i do.” you growl.

“eh? when did i say that!? you need to eat!” he huffs.

“well no thank you.”

you ignore him and he has to corner you in your room to get you to pay him any mind

his interrogations fall deaf in your ears as he cages you under him on your bed

“if i don’t matter to you get out,” you blurt out.

“what are you talking about? when have i made you feel like you don’t matter to me.”

“you know i’m struggling and you just- you just said you don’t give a damn about how i look!”

“because i don’t! does it have to matter? i love you for you! pirates seek out people for their bodies and for their own pleasures! i’m with you because i love you for who you are!”

“and i am not saying you’re ugly or whatever it is you think i think!” he beats you to every argument.

and then he goes on to show you PHYSICALLY what he means. not like, harsh or anything. you’ve never felt so precious under his care before, he kissed you so tenderly.

he didn’t make you feel fragile, like something that could break in a bad way

he made you understand how he sees you as more as his partner- as an extension of his soul, his missing piece

“i’ll make sure you never feel like that again, as long as you’re with me, you’ll be more valuable than a poneglyph. whatever you struggle with, i’ll help you through it.”

your confidence went up, because honestly he’s brutally honest and many people take what the captain says seriously; yet you knew he’s never lie to you

at the end of the day, what your lover says is what matters to you.

[just-a-ghost00]

A short letter from them <3

Warning : this reading could be triggering.

Group 1

Cards - Surrender, Trust, The Universe, Soul work, Ancestors, Reflect, Page of cups, King of cups, 3 of pentacles, 5 of swords, Black Numen, The Hierophant

I see myself in you. It is troubling as much as it is freeing. I don't love myself enough to admit that I love you. I want to be a better person before I can come up to you.I hate that I have to be away from you. There is nothing I want more than to be close to you but duty calls. I have my own karma to resolve, my own issues and challenges to deal with. I understand now that the Universe let us meet for a reason. I realize that you were a lesson for me to learn. That all good things in life ask for dedication and faith. And I was not ready for you. I had dedication but I didn't have faith. Now I see clearly what I have to do. You awakened something in me I didn't know I had. Now I want to do more, live more, feel more. I want to shine brighter than before. I want to be a person you can be proud of. My ultimate goal is to propose to you. There will be a long way ahead before I can even dream of holding your hand again. In the meantime, I will work harder, better, faster, stronger. I'm sure you know that song too. Let us connect through music. When we're apart, I hope the songs we liked to listen to will keep you company and remind you of me, just as they will remind me of you. I'll hold you dear to my heart. Can you please do the same? ♡︎

Reader's insights : My alarm started ringing as I was shuffling your cards. I was hesitating on keeping the Reflect card and that's when the alarm chimed in so I took that as a confimation that yes this person is a reflection of you. The signs of Taurus, Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius could be significant. I get strong Twin flame vibes from this group. For some of you I pick up on cultural differences. A part of the reasons why this person is scared to come forward is because they're afraid of their family's opinion regarding your connection. They think that they wouldn't be too keen on having you in the family because you are from a different background. But your person doesn't care about your differences, in fact it's what drew them in and it's why they love you. They also were amazed at how similar you could be dispite your differences. I'm definitely picking up on long distance relationships. You aren't in contact with them at the moment or the contact is minimal. This person is going through some existential crisis. Meeting you put everything into perspective. You rocked their world.

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

Group 2

Cards - Reflect, Ascension, Withdraw, Play, Power (horizontal), get creative, Wheel of fortune, 7 of wands, 10 of pentacles, ace of swords, 2 of pentacles, 2 of swords

I feel like I constantly have to fight for your attention. You're always busy, always on the go. You always have something to do, something to say to someone that can't wait another day. So many excuses. Do I even matter? Like, do you even care about us? I know you're my soulmate and honestly it frustrates me because I feel like I have to go through so many struggles to just have one happy moment with you, without other people getting their nose in our business. It's always my friend said this, my family did that. What about me? What about what I said or did? What about my feelings? Honestly, do you even want me in your life? Because if you don't I have no problem with that. However I have a problem with you wasting my time and hurting me. I can be pretty open minded I just need people to be honest and mature enough to voice out what's wrong for them. You feel so distant and I don't know what to do anymore with this. To tell you the truth, I'm considering leaving and entertaining other connections because at this point why even bother? When I'm in the mood for more and ready to keep things going you just retreat to your shell and put up a wall between us. At least tell me what's wrong. If I've done something that hurt you I want to own up to it and apologize properly. I can't read your mind.

Reader's insights : I kept being distracted as I shuffled your cards. People might be interfering in this connection to deter you from being with that person if this is a romantic connection. This person thinks that you're seeing someone else and/or playing with them. Before even reading for you and writing what this person wanted to say, I felt a lot of frustration bubbling up in my chest. The cards feel quickly so this person has a lot on their plate. I'm sorry if this reading is triggering to some of you. You can't seem to see eye to eye with this person. There are serious communication issues in this group because I feel like you may be in the same energy as this person. You don't know what they want either, you feel like they keep running away from you. There's a lot of confusion between the two of you as to where this is going and what each other's intentions are. You don't trust one another, it's a battle of egos that seems like it's never ending.

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

Group 3

Cards - 9 of pentacles, The Magician, The Star, Page of cups, Temperance, 8 of pentacles, Speak Truth, Movement, Play, The Magi, The Creator, Versatility

Ever since we parted ways, I feel like my life is finally making sense. I feel better in my shoes, better in my skin. And I honestly think it's better this way. My career took a positive turn. I am more abundant. I feel like I'm in alignment with my destiny. I feel like life is finally smiling to me and I can finally work toward what I always wanted. I think going our separate ways was the best thing that could happen to us. Because I know deep down I would have choked being next to you. Being away from you allows me to express my true self. To explore and figure out who I am. To indulge in pleasures I didn't know existed, to give life to dreams I didn't know I had. I feel like I'm rebirthing. I'm finally in control of my life and my destiny. It took meeting you to realize I was not happy and for that I am grateful. I know this isn't what you would like to hear. But for once in my life I want to stop pleasing people and start pleasing myself. I will now give myself the love I deserve and needed. And I hope you can respect that. I am now moving on and flying on my own. Thank you for the memories.

Reader's insights : I felt quite nervous doing this reading, my body was tense. There were remanent energies from group 2 because I kept thinking of their last song The Negative. You might want to check group 2 if you hesitated between group 3 and group 2. It was like this person hesitated saying the things they said because they thought you'd take it personally and they're aware of the wrongs it would cause. But they had to get it off their chest. The signs of Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius may be significant.

[normansnt]

Even

(Hazbin Rozie x soft!male reader.)

No warnings (not proof read)

You tried to tiptoe as quietly as possible through your and your wives house. You didn't know that the trail of blood you were leaving would give you away in the morning anyways.

"You're home late" you heard the lovely voice of your dear wife while she sat on the sofa and turned on the light on the small table besides it.

You exhaled through your nose.

"Yeaahhh..." was all you could get out of

When Rosie took in your form more carefully she saw the beaten state you were in.

"Oh dear, what happened to you" she sounded more sympathetic now and rushed to your side to help you sit down

"Hahh, you should see the other guy...he got out without a scratch it was honestly pretty impressive" you said with honest astonishment.

You have been getting into fights at bars lately...a lot. Why? Well the answer was rather easy really, your wife was the Rosie. A powerful overlord in hell and leader of cannibal town. She was powerful, strong, cunning, smart and most of all feared because of those qualities.

And you...well, you weren't weak not by any means but you were just...soft, to put it lightly. While other boys fought you enjoyed chasing a butterfly. You were a very kind soul and opted to see the good in people. You were a fallen angel, after all.

When you met Rosie you were the same dork you are now, you just liked to draw and she is very beautiful so you asked if you could draw her. Thats how you two met 10 years ago.

As time passed by, you fell in love with her, however you would have never guessed that a powerful woman like herself would fall for someone like you. Alas she did and after some time being together you got married.

Since Rosie was quite the public figure, people, of course, knew about your engagement and they had their own opinions, mostly bad ones.

The people of cannibal town thought Rosie deserved someone tough, not to protect her she can do that to, but to match her, to be her equal.

And you thought so too. It was a true wonder why she was still with you, really.

"(Y/N)"

The powerful voice of your beloved got you out of your thoughts.

"*sigh* are you thinking about what others are saying again?" She questioned looking at you sadly.

You looked away ashamed.

"My love" she slowly put her hand on your cheek and made you look at her.

"I have told you countless times but I wont stop until you get it into your head. I.Love.You their opinions do not matter, especially when they dont know you like I do, for if they did they would know that you have the strongest heart I have ever witnessed, you might not like fights and blood spill but I know for a fact that when its really needed you will step up, and thats what really matters." She smiled at you kindly.

"Also, I like violence plenty so we make the perfect pair" she grinned at you manically.

You really didn't know how you got so lucky as to have such an amazing wife. You let out a chuckle and kissed her.

"Thank you" you smiled lightly

"Of course dear, now go wash up and lets go to bed I'm tired" she said exhausted while she stood up and walked to your shared bedroom.

You smiled to yourself, sure you weren't a big fan of violence but you hat a cannibal as a wife, you guys kinda evened each other out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yall I know I said Id proof read tham and than post but I LOVE this one so much its short but so good😭

ALSO, ROSIE IS NOT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH LIKE I LOVE HER SM ROSIE PLS MARRY ME😖

ANYWAYS

I hope you enjoyed your reading ladies, gentleman and others, good afternoon good evening and good night🧡���

[rosesnbooks]

Gemini placements

disclaimer: i am not a professional, these are just my observations that i have accumulated over the years

🌀sun in gemini-i think that people usually form strong opinions about them. definitely not the type to be seen as wallflowers. they are naturally curious and they're either shy or like to shine in the spotlight, depends on other placements. whenever they speak, people listen to them and often find them charming and funny. i think their personalities can seem intense which is why they're not for everybody, but they're not easy to read. they are adaptable and knowledgable about things that interest them. if they like to talk to you about their thoughts and ideas, you must be special to them. honestly, they have no patience for people who try to waste their time and act fake around them. they can conceal their personalities around those they do not trust.

🧞‍♀️moon in gemini-they have a lot on their minds and they feel the best when they process their emotions verbally, whether through writing or talking to someone. they probably enjoy talking to those closest to them about their emotions, but some tend to have better personal "enlightenment" when they process things in writing. their memory is amazing and they are very logical. some try to dissect their emotions outloud, while others try to supress them. they can talk about deep issues and then joke around in a matter of seconds, they're quite adaptable. they can get stuck in their head and overthink things which leads to a lot of negative emotions that they wanted to avoid in the first place. can be insensitive sometimes when it comes to analyzing other's emotions because they approach it from a logical perspective because they want to be reasonable, which may sometimes backfire or provide as good advice. unsurprisingly, they are good with words. they are emotionally connected to their moms. their moms might have been youthful, curious, and adaptable when they were little.

💠rising/ascendant in gemini-they are, in my opinion, hard to notice! they definitely have a youthful appearance and attitude as many claim, but it's not easy to spot them because of their adaptability, unless you really observe them in the wild among different types of people lol. i'll repeat this quality a lot in this post, but they too are very curious. some may not talk much, but once you ask them about something they love, you'll see that sparkle in their eyes and the yapper will awake. may appear fake while they are trying to see if they like you, but they're just protecting themselves. if they want to create a fake persona tho, they can do it easily. they explore their identities often and try to figure out who they are, and may get confused because they change rapidly. they express themselves with their entire body lmao, especially when they are enjoying themselves. can get strong energy outbursts. they are not big fans of routine and following the rules strictly. they have a specific style most of the time, but they like to surprise themselves from time to time, to the point of confusing others haha

🐦mercury in gemini-they are light-hearted and try not to take things too seriously in life. many like to read and talk with open-minded people and to those with whom they share similar attitudes. they are quick-witted and may not open up easily about their emotions and share their vulnerable side with others, so actually a few people know their true identities. this also gives them an air of mystery. the charm is really charming with this placement lol. very creative as well. but when they finally open up about their emotions and thoughts, they reveal their complex and beautiful souls. they also choose their words carefully whenever they talk about serious matters. they are calculated and observant, even when they seem relaxed...they are processing everything others say and do, as well as their surroundings in general

💙venus in gemini-so, so flirty, even when that's not their intention. they like people that seem interesting and talkative. they seek out good conversationalists. they want partners who are always ready do adapt and explore, and those who are fearful of changes/passive are not appealing to them. unless they find someone that fits their criteria, makes them laugh and feel excited, they won't settle down and they'll seek excitement in flings. romance and love seem so fun to them so they want to enjoy themselves while exploring these concepts. they can be immature at times and a bit superficial. humor is of utmost importance! they need it in their daily lives and relationships with others. they remind me of young love, especially high school and college. they are good with people, so they are often adored. freedom and space: a must for them. without it, they feel suffocated and become bolters.

💿mars in gemini-they have so much energy and they sometimes don't know what to do with it. they cannot sit still for the life of them. they can have mood swings. they experience stress or anxiety but they have a highly adaptable nature and manage to do everything eventually. they are often good at different things, whether in natural sciences or more creative fields. not all of them look super youthful but their energy appears young and lively. and they serve visuals! their personal style and face card are truly amazing. they are really intelligent and quick with their responses, and they need mental stimulation most of the time. they come up with many ideas and creative solutions. it may be challenging for them to find something they'll stick with for a long time because they crave change. they have to be careful with handling distractions!! careers that don't allow them enough passion, mental stimulation, and flexibility literally drain their energy.

🔵jupiter in gemini-their communication skills get them far in life! they process a lot of information without difficulties and they are fun to be around. once again, they also love to express themselves verbally, so writing or in general having to perform among people is something they are good at. they like to meet different people that catch their interest, but they try to surround themselves with those who don't take life too seriously. this is especially true for those who may struggle with their stress and overthinking tendencies, so they like those who make them laugh and relax. their memory is excellent, to the degree that some remember dates of even minor events, especially if they are related to people they had a connection with at one point. music also triggers a lot of memories

🫐saturn in gemini-they have so much to say but there are some things holding them back, whether it is related to speech impediments or general insecurity, they keep a lot to themselves. that's why they may be harder to figure out. make no mistake, they are very clever and have different talents. they can be good with practical things in life and technology. they also pressure themselves to be as confident, practical/powerful as possible, but they need to embrace their curious and flexible side. following a routine is not their favorite thing to do and they absolutely despise small talk and want to delve into deeper topics. they have a strong desire for excelling in their communication skills

©rosesnbooks

[youremyheaven]

Random Astrology Observations

Moon in the 1h is often talked about like 🥺🥺wears their heart on their sleeve🥹🥹uwu softie way but tbh Moon in 1h can make someone incredibly manipulative, they know just what to say and when to say it and know how to work their audience, this is perhaps why this placement is found in the charts of soooo many successful actors. ex: Leonardo DiCaprio, Audrey Hepburn, Henry Cavill, Charlie Chaplin, Priyanka Chopra, Antonio Banderas, Brendan Fraser, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Padelecki, Val Kilmer, Adrien Brody etc

I think this is a very manipulative placement, again manipulation is not in and of itself a bad thing, its what we use it for that matters. Some people completely lack the ability to manipulate at all (they don't have Moon influence)

2. Debilitated placements point to unconventional intelligence & wisdom in that area. I feel like they've cracked the code . They struggle a lot but when they triumph it's magic

3. I've mentioned this in other posts but many notorious sex offenders have Venus influence. Actions of this sort, as well as criticizing others' beauty, not taking care of yourself/surroundings, being shabby or disorderly in general are all things that harm your Venus. Abusing someone is the quickest way to ruin your Venus, you start corroding and that ugliness begins to manifest on the outside.

Ex: Harvey Weinstein looks like a cartoonish villain

4. As I explore the astrology content put out by others across different platforms, I've seen how the nature of the take themselves are so specific and unique to the person making them. Claire Nakti has a tendency imo to focus heavily on romance, sex and women's sexual behaviour and what sort of men they attract.

Going through her website, it's obvious that she's deeply immersed in occult & esoteric philosophy (all of which ties together with vedic astrology, philosophy, Buddhism etc because I truly believe that spiritual truths are universal and different schools of thought/religion/culture/mythology express these same truths in their own way with a LOT of recurring patterns) and Carl Jung as well.

It's studying Jung that helped me understand that what we see or draw from something is a reflection of who we are. As a beginner to vedic astrology, I initially believed Claire's one dimensional portrayal to be the all encompassing truth of a nakshatra until I started doing my own reading and research.

The things I talk about or the patterns I find are a reflection of me and I get a lot of asks about why I don't do xyz nak and honestly it's not as simple as doing research for an essay for uni, you kind of have to have a gnosis or innate knowing of its themes, something to base your search off of. And different naks call to me at different points. I come across content that describes certain naks in lights i could've never imagined which is to say that gnosis or inner knowing is an important aspect of studying anything esoteric, it kind of has to be revealed to you and what you see, what you can discern is a reflection of you.

5. you have to have a strong Rahu to discern patterns and similarities because Rahu is maya/illusion and a well-placed Rahu will allow you to see through those patterns/illusions. it will be very hard for someone without a strong Rahu to find similarities or common tropes, patterns, themes etc. Seeing through the veil or fog is Rahuvian.

6. Claire Nakti made a video about Venusian men where she said they were the ideal type of man and tbh that just confirmed my suspicion that she's Moon dominant because I think Moon dominant people are attracted to Venusians but in my humble opinion both Venusian men and Moon dominant men are some of the most batshit crazy people (manipulative and controlling at the least, psychopathic at worst) basically men who have a lot of Yin tend to be psychotic

7. I've noticed that Revati people tend to speak in a very verbose way. Nigella Lawson, Revati Moon is a really good example. Obviously other placements will also impact speech

8. Moon dominant people hate it when others share sob stories. They're the type to have the least amount of empathy for others and will either react in a neutral way or like they don't understand why you're saying this stuff at all. They're bored by other people's mundane problems and make it known as well. Not people you want to open up to.

My former friend was this way, I once cried in front of her and she showed zero emotion and didn't even try to comfort me lol

9. The way others treat us is the way we treat others. ik this is a basic take but karma is cause and effect. if you're dismissive of others feelings, other people will be dismissive of yours. what you do is what will be done unto you. Its so crazy to see how people who've been treated like shit by their friends will turn around and treat other people like shit. this is sooo basic but genuinely dont do anything to others that you dont want done to you.

[kdwg]

Medicine Pocket x Reader : “Isn't it good to be a dog?”

i wrote this at 1.4 China sever, I know Medicine Pocket here might be ooc, i didnt know Chinese, everything i knew abt Medipoc through using ggl translate their story. MediPoc in my fic using he/him pronouns (in game Medicine Pocket said i can call whatever pronouns i want for him so...)

---English Version---

Medicine Pocket finds you very annoying. He doesn't know if it's because of all the drugs he's taken recently, making your baseless babbling deafening. “Like a fly”, that's what Medicine Pocket bluntly told you, unfortunately you didn't even bother and continued to cling to him like a horseshoe crab.

Today is even more so, Medicine Pocket is almost drowning in a sea of ​​reports, dense numbers filling the mind, and even reprimands and reminders from sources above, even, one must say, Medicine, who had always ignored public opinion, was now exhausted as his brain was constantly repeating the cruel and disdainful judgments of some of the researchers who had chatted in the kitchen a few minutes ago. I don't want to pay attention, but somehow people always pay attention to how others comment on them. Medicine sighed, he raised his hand to rub his temple very roughly, threw the pile of papers on the table, he slid off the chair and lay on the floor. Closing his eyes, feeling the darkness weakly trying to cover itself in the bright light, he wondered where you were now? Honestly, sometimes listening to you talk silly is more entertaining than having a very social and fake conversation with a co-worker. You've warned him so many times, so many times that just by remembering it, he can see the image of you angrily waving your index finger to remind him that no matter how much he hates people, he can't call them assholes, then step on their foot and leave.

“Hey, what do you think?”

Medicine was startled from the impending sleep. Seeing your appearance, he was a bit surprised. Medicine didn't respond and simply looked at you with wide eyes.

“What's wrong, did you fall asleep?”

You were a bit confused when you asked two questions but still no scolding to kick you out of the room was uttered.

Medicine lay half on the floor, his upper body raised, looking at you in bewilderment like a puppy that had just met its owner a few times. You tilted your head to survey the situation. Could Medicine have tested something strange on himself again?

“Medi?”

"Yes?"

You walked closer and crouched down to Medicine's level. The eyes are still normal, the skin is a bit pale, the lips are not pale, overall you can evaluate Medicine as being fine.

“Give me your hand.”

You spread your hands. Without hesitation Medicine Pocket placed your hand on it, you took off his gloves trying to find something unusual, but everything was fine, the temperature remained stable and the warmth of his skin made you feel strong. The heat in the room also gradually increased. You gently squeezed his hand. When you raised your head, you still met his dreamy eyes from before. You couldn't help but giggle, breaking the silence:

“Are you a dog?”

Medicine was silent for a few seconds, he looked away from your face and then shifted his gaze down to the five fingers embracing his hand. His eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully, he really took it as a serious question. Medicine stroked his chin and sighed softly and answered without any excitement:

“Isn't it good to be a dog?”

This time you couldn't stop yourself from laughing out loud, oh my god, what were you thinking? You reached out with your other hand to pinch Medicine's nose. Instinctively, he angrily glared at you and coldly pushed your hand away:

“Don't laugh.”

“Why do you think like that?”

“See if I were a dog, everyone would definitely love me. I also won't have to find a way to please anyone, not to mention I'll be very cute.”

“You've always been cute.”

You wrapped your arms around Medicine's neck, this time he didn't pull away, he let you bury your face in the crook of his neck. Medicine Pocket does not have the scent you like, on the contrary, it is very unpleasant to smell, but it sticks to him for so long that the smell of antiseptic and rubber soon becomes an indispensable part of his daily life.

Medicine felt itchy when you whispered under his throat, he felt your warm breath stick to his skin, it was so annoying that he couldn't stop.

“What's wrong, does this great scientist care about what other people say?”

Whenever he gets caught talking about something, Medicine tends to react violently and deny it, but when it comes to you, he simply stays silent, indifferently avoiding your gaze. This time too, you didn't get his answer. You raised your head to look for his eyes, but Medicine looked at you. It's a look of boredom and acknowledgment, somewhere a little sulky, indicating why you haven't pampered or comforted her yet. “It's no different than a puppy that forgets to be petted.” That's the first thought that pops into your head. You leaned forward, your hands cupping Medicine's face, gently placing light kisses on his cheeks.

Medicine still didn't seem very satisfied, his ten fingertips wrapped around your hand, his eyelashes drooped down in a state of confusion, he tried not to look into your eyes but in the end he couldn't resist. Medicine remembers the words that want to be buried deep in the throat:

“Do you think like them?”

Your two noses touch, you smile:

“Of course not, if talking to them makes you feel that bad then just step on their toes and leave.”

“You call them stupid?”

“They deserve it.”

Medicine Pocket let out a dramatic sigh. After that, he kisses you.

---Vietnamese Version---

Medicine Pocket cảm thấy bạn rất phiền phức, anh không biết có phải do đống thuốc bản thân vạ miệng uống gần đây khiến những lời lảm nhảm vô căn cứ của bạn làm đinh tai nhức óc. “Như một con nhặng”, đó là điều Medicine Pocket đã thẳng thừng nói với bạn, tiếc rằng bạn còn chẳng bận lòng mà tiếp tục bám lấy anh như sam.

Hôm nay còn hơn cả vậy, Medicine Pocket gần như chìm trong biển báo cáo, những con số dày đặc lấp đầy tâm trí, và cả những lời khiển trách nhắc nhở từ những nguồn chi phía trên, thậm chí, một người phải nói là luôn bỏ ngoài tai dư luận như Medicine giờ đây cũng mệt nhoài khi bộ não của anh đang liên tục lặp lại sự phán xét coi thường ác ý của một số các nhà nghiên cứu đã tán gẫu ở nhà bếp mấy phút trước. Anh không muốn để tâm, song con người một phần nào đó luôn chú ý về việc người khác bình phẩm mình ra sao. Medicine thở dài, anh đưa tay lên day thái dương hết sức thô bạo, ném đống giấy lộn lên bàn, anh trượt khỏi ghế và nằm dài trên sàn. Nhắm mắt lại, cảm nhận bóng tối yếu ớt cố gắng bao trùm trong ánh đèn sáng chói, anh tự hỏi bây giờ bạn đang ở đâu? Thành thật mà nói, đôi khi nghe bạn nói ngớ ngẩn còn giải trí hơn là có một cuộc trò chuyện hết sức xã giao và giả tạo với đồng nghiệp. Bạn đã dặn dò anh rất nhiều lần, nhiều đến mức chỉ cần nhớ lại anh có thể thấy hình ảnh bạn cáu kỉnh vung ngón trỏ nhắc dù anh có ghét người ta đến mức nào cũng không thể bảo họ là thằng lỗ đít, rồi dẫm vào chân và bỏ đi.

“Này, em nghĩ gì đấy?”

Medicine giật mình khỏi giấc ngủ sắp ập đến. Thấy sự xuất hiện của bạn, anh có chút ngỡ ngàng thái quá, Medicine không đáp đơn giản chỉ tròn mắt nhìn bạn.

“Sao thế, em ngủ quên à?”

Bạn có chút bối rối khi hỏi đến hai câu mà vẫn chưa có lời mắng mỏ đòi đuổi bạn ra khỏi phòng được thốt ra.

Medicine nằm nửa người trên sàn, thân trên nâng lên ngơ ngác nhìn bạn hệt như một con cún mới gặp chủ vài lần. Bạn nghiêng đầu dò xét tình hình, Medicine không lẽ lại tự thử nghiệm thứ gì kì quặc lên bản thân nữa rồi?

“Medi?”

“Vâng?”

Bạn tiến lại gần và cúi xuống ngang tầm với Medicine. Tròng mắt vẫn bình thường, da hơi nhợt nhạt, môi không tái, xét về tổng thể bạn có thể đánh giá Medicine vẫn ổn.

“Đưa tay cho chị.”

Bạn xòe tay. Không chần chừ Medicine Pocket đặt bàn tay lên, bạn cởi găng tay anh cố gắng tìm kiếm một điểm bất thường, song tất cả mọi thứ đều ổn thỏa, nhiệt độ vẫn ổn định và hơi ấm từ da thịt anh khiến bạn cảm thấy sức nóng căn phòng cũng dần tăng lên. Bạn siết nhẹ tay anh, khi bạn ngẩng đầu lên vẫn chạm phải ánh mắt mơ màng ban nãy, bạn không nhịn nổi mà bật cười khúc khích phá vỡ khoảng lặng:

“Em có phải là chó không?”

Medicine im lặng vài giây, anh hết nhìn vào khuôn mặt bạn lại chuyển tầm mắt xuống năm ngón tay đang ôm trọn lấy bàn tay mình. Đôi lông mày anh nhíu lại đầy nghiền ngẫm, anh thực sự coi đó là một câu hỏi nghiêm túc, Medicine vuốt cằm khẽ thở dài trả lời không một chút hào hứng:

“Là chó thì không tốt sao?”

Lần này bạn không thể ngăn được mình cười thành tiếng, ôi trời suy nghĩ gì thế này, bạn đưa tay còn lại véo mũi Medicine. Theo bản năng, anh cáu kỉnh lườm bạn và lạnh lùng gạt tay bạn ra:

“Đừng có cười.”

“Tại sao em lại suy nghĩ như vậy?”

“Chị xem nếu là chó, mọi người chắc hẳn sẽ rất yêu quý tôi. Tôi cũng sẽ không phải tìm cách để làm hài lòng bất kì ai, chưa kể tôi sẽ rất dễ thương.”

“Em luôn dễ thương mà.”

Bạn vòng tay qua cổ Medicine, lần này anh không gạt ra, anh để bạn vùi mặt vào hõm cổ anh. Medicine Pocket không có mùi hương bạn thích, trái lại còn rất khó ngửi, nhưng bám dính lấy anh lâu đến nỗi mùi thuốc sát trùng và cao su sớm trở thành thứ không thể thiếu hàng ngày của bản thân.

Medicine thấy ngứa ngáy khi bạn thủ thỉ dưới vòm họng, anh có cảm nhận được hơi thở ấm áp của bạn dính vào da thịt mình, vô cùng phiền phức đến nỗi không thể dứt nổi.

“Sao thế, nhà khoa học đại tài nay lại để ý đến người khác nói gì sao?”

Mỗi khi bị bắt thóp chuyện gì, Medicine thường có xu hướng phản ứng dữ dội phủ nhận nó, nhưng nếu với bạn, anh chỉ đơn giản là im lặng, thờ ơ né tránh cái nhìn bạn. Lần này cũng vậy, bạn không nhận được câu trả lời của anh, bạn ngẩng đầu để kiếm tìm đôi mắt anh, nhưng Medicine nhìn bạn. Đó là ánh mắt chán chường và thừa nhận, đâu đó có chút hờn dỗi ra ý rằng sao bạn còn chưa nuông chiều, an ủi mau mau đi. “Không khác gì một con cún con quên được vuốt ve.” Đó là suy nghĩ nảy lên đầu tiên trong đầu bạn. Bạn dướn người, bàn tay ôm lấy khuôn mặt Medicine, nhẹ nhàng đặt những nụ hôn phớt lên má.

Medicine có vẻ vẫn chưa hài lòng lắm, mười đầu ngón tay của anh bao bọc lấy bàn tay bạn, lông mi cụp xuống hết sức thất thểu, anh định không nhìn vào mắt bạn song cuối cùng không cưỡng lại nổi. Medicine lí nhỉ những câu từ muốn chôn sâu dưới cuống họng:

“Chị có nghĩ như họ không?”

Mũi hai người chạm nhau, bạn mỉm cười:

“Đương nhiên là không, nếu nói chuyện với họ khiến em cảm thấy tệ như vậy thì cứ dẫm vào chân họ rồi bỏ đi.”

“Em chửi họ là đồ ngu?”

“Họ xứng đáng.”

Medicine Pocket thở dài một cái hết sức kịch tính. Sau đó, anh hôn b���n.

[rallamajoop]

Mia Winters in Shadows of Rose

I really did think I was done talking about (read: furiously defending) Mia Winters when I made all those other posts earlier this year. I’ve even touched on the misconceptions about her in Shadows of Rose before, at least in a reblog. But someone reblogged one of those posts recently with a comment that mentioned this particular aspect of the hate she gets in passing, and I had such a strong response to it (and for what is honestly in no way that poster’s fault) that I had to accept that maybe I wasn’t as done as I thought he was.

So there’s the idea in fandom that Mia voluntarily gave up her daughter to the government after RE8. It's bullshit and obviously so, but it's still going to take me another whole post to get into why seeing this ‘fact’ parroted about her annoys me so damn much.

Because this is not an outside take. I’ve seen people claim they didn’t have any particular opinion on Mia until this was the tipping point that pushed them into hating her. I’ve seen "sympathetic" takes on Mia which suggest that really it’s not her fault at all that she couldn’t love her own daughter, because [elaborate bullshit]. "Mia abandonned Rose at the first opportunity after RE8" is one of those takes that gets repeated ad nauseum.

First question: based on what, exactly?

No really, if there’s some obscure, mistranslated press release out there as the source, please, someone point me to it, because nothing in Shadows of Rose tells us anything of the sort.

Excluding Eveline’s horrifying Mia-puppets, the real Mia is mentioned all of twice in Shadows of Rose. The first mention comes when you find young Rose’s diary, which tells us that she found regular school a bit basic, because she’d already learned all that stuff with ‘Mommy’. So we can safely assume Rose was home-schooled by Mia for much of her childhood, though now Rose is attending a regular school. "Home schooled with enough care to put her ahead of her same-age peers" sure says "abandoned" to me!

The other mention of Mia is more ambiguous, and is easily missed, heard only if you read her letter about baking a cake for Rose’s half birthday in the Winters’ home sequence. After reading it, Rose sadly says, "I haven’t seen Mom in ages." Why she hasn’t seen her mother in so long isn’t explained (though she certainly sounds like she'd like to), nor do we have any idea how long ‘ages’ really is. It’s certainly enough to make the player wonder, but no answers are ever supplied, or even really hinted at.

And that’s it. That’s everything we’ve actually got on Mia’s place in Rose’s mid-teens life. I have played this DLC multiple times and poured through the game files ‒ trust me on this.

Unlike so many other bits of slander thrown at Mia’s feet, the idea that Mia ‘gave up her daughter to the government’ sometime after that first diary was written is at least theoretically possible, given the very little we know. But why the fuck do people treat it like it’s the only possibility? Do we really have so little imagination?

The only thing we can positively say about Mia in Shadows of Rose is that she’s not in it. Mia could be in a coma for all we know! She could be in prison! The government could’ve taken Rose from her against her will! She could be deep undercover in some criminal organisation who represent a real threat to her daughter! She could be in some mental institution after the stress of losing Ethan proved too much! Those experiments Miranda performed on her could’ve had horrifying long-term side effects! ALL of these things are at least as possible as ‘Mia gave her daughter up voluntarily’. And they’re all a whole fuckload more plausible.

Because lemme tell you what we actually know about Mia's relationship with her daughter. In fact, you know what, have a whole mini gallery of what we know.

Mia ‘nothing else matters as long as my family is together’ Winters – the woman who advanced on Chris demanding where is my husband? Where is my daughter? – who positively lights up when she sees her daughter safe at the end of RE8 ‒ the one with the whole photo album full of pictures documenting her pregnancy or where she's gazing happily at her newborn daughter… you’re telling me this woman would just give Rose up? Come on.

Even Shadows of Rose contributes to this take on Mia: to get that one line from Rose about not having seen her mother, you have to read the one document in the game written from Mia’s perspective, which is full of joy about making a cake for her daughter’s half-birthday celebration.

Heck, even the Baker Incident Report makes clear that Rose is the most important thing in Mia’s life. Mia loves Rose more than anything in every other part of this canon.

And someone still went, "Oh, well Rose hasn’t seen her in a while in SoR, and the government seems to have their sticky fingers in her life, so clearly Mia just gave her up"? And the rest of fandom has been repeating it ever since? What is wrong with people?

In fact, while we’re talking the adults in Rose’s life as of SoR, why on earth does Chris get a pass? The only thing we hear about his current ‘relationship’ with Rose, a girl who’s still in high school and hasn’t even begun learning to control her powers yet, is that he’s apparently pestering her to join his para-military squad. Her first assumption when a member of his squad comes to talk to her is that this is what it’s about. I mean, that’s objectively pretty fucked up.

In all seriousness here, I’m not trying to start some #cancelchrisredfield movement, because I really doubt those lines were written with the primary goal of establishing Rose’s relationship with Chris – they’re just clunky exposition. They’re here to let us know a) Chris is still working with his Dog Dog Squad, b) Kay, the guy we’ve just met, is a member, and c) Chris is aware that Rose’s powers are going to be a big deal – and presumably he’s still as weirdly intense about everything as he is in the rest of RE8. Rose does seem happier about Chris’s role in her life in her diary, where he seems to have pulled some strings to allow her to go to a regular school (but presumably even Chris draws the line at recruiting pre-teens, so that’s yet to start), so we've got some friendly interactions between them, but Chris seems no more involved in Rose's teen life than Mia is.

I don’t know how the RE8 writers did expect us to interpret the idea that Chris is apparently trying to recruit untrained under-18s to his team, but I’m sure with enough imagination, you can come up with some way to spin it that doesn’t paint him in a completely irredeemable light (maybe he just wants her involved in training and self-defence or something, or maybe it’d give him the power to tell other government departments with an interest in her to take a hike, who knows?) What really stands out to me, however, is that I don’t have to defend Chris over how his non-part in this DLC is so under-explained. So why the hell does Mia get both barrels, when we know even less about her current relationship with Rose than for Chris?

Oh wait, I know this one. It’s because she’s a woman, and we’ve already decided she’s a bad person. Any mother whose life doesn’t seem to revolve entirely around her sad daughter is obviously an irredeemable human being, amirite? [Insert table-flip here]

As I’ve said before, I’d really like for there to be a more interesting explanation for why we hear so little about Mia in Shadows of Rose. I would love for the reason to be that they’ve got big plans for Mia in RE9, and don’t want SoR to pre-emptively spoil whatever’s going to happen to her. I would kill for a whole game about Mia, starting way back before RE7 and filling in all those big holes in her story, before picking up again post RE8 and beyond. I’m realistic enough to realise that’s not likely, but gdi, I can dream. It’s certainly possible that one of the reasons we hear so little about her in Shadows of Rose is because the writers are trying to leave their options open, just in case.

But putting all my pipe dreams for RE9 aside, I'd bet good money the main reasons why Mia has so little presence in Shadows of Rose are thematic. The whole story depends on Rose feeling isolated and lonely as motivation for why she wants to be 'normal', before she finally decides it's worth giving that up for the chance to meet her Dad properly for the first time. That all hits a lot harder on a thematic level if we downplay the few positive relationships Rose does have in her life ‒ her mother included. I mean, you may as well ask why all the teachers in any Harry Potter novel are so useless most of the time: because it’s easier to tell the story they want to tell that way. Chris’ part in Rose’s life is almost certainly downplayed for the very same reasons (plus possibly some resistance to making fans face an incarnation of Chris who might well be in his 60s by whatever year this actually is).

So, yeah. Maybe Mia as-long-as-we're-together Winters did home school her beloved daughter all through her early years, and then one day just decided "y’know what, I’m done with this" and signed Rose over to the government without a second thought. God knows I’ve heard of worse cases of random character assassination from franchises I’ve trusted. And the moment Capcom actually gives us any reason to believe that’s the intent, I’m sure someone will let me know.

But in the meantime, Jesus Christ, people – this DLC is like three hours long, and it’s all on youtube – it is not hard to check this shit, c’mon.

[vinvantae]

Unmasked

15/16

<<< previous part

Word count : 5.2k

Warning: poorly translated French (English translation at the end)

A/N : I feel terrible about how long it’s taken me to write this, the inspiration just hasn’t been with me for a little while. I hope you enjoy it regardless ❤️

**********************************************

SC - With the weight of the world seemingly off her shoulders, y/n absolutely flew around the track today. It feels like for the first time in a while, we’re seeing Thirty in her element once again.

Even with two rampaging Bulls chasing her down, it’s the Prancing Horse who takes the chequered flag. Y/N Y/L/N wins the Spanish Grand Prix!

MB - Despite all of the noise this weekend, it’s races like this one that define y/n as one of the best drivers of this generation. From the flawless start, to defending from the tremendous speed of the two Redbulls when it mattered most - that was a wonderful race to watch.

SC - I’m sure Ferrari were hoping for a 1-2 finish today, but after Charles' engine issues forced him to retire, I think they’ll be happy to get the most possible points with y/n’s fastest lap too. Look at that celebration, if there’s one thing about Thirty, every win is just as exciting as the last.

The feeling you got when you won never was any less triumphant, no matter how many you had tucked under your belt. But after how long the weekend had felt, this one felt particularly special. You climbed atop your car and pumped your fists above your head - practically giddy with glee as the crowd cheered for you, the underlying boos barely phasing you. They just didn’t matter - their opinions didn’t matter.

Your eyes zeroed in on a small group of girls who were in the grandstands, dressed head to toe in red - waving a banner for you above their head. Their celebrations seemed louder than anyone else's so you made sure to wave, putting the biggest smile on their faces before you hopped over to the car.

You laughed as the team swept you up in a tight hug when you ran over to the barrier, patting you on the helmet - the noise vibrated through you, making your heart soar. If there was a group of people you knew you could rely on, it was your team; even after your reveal, they were never any less supportive of you, always there for you no matter what the result was and treating you as they always had. It was one of the reasons why none of the contracts you offered tempted you, Ferrari are your family, you belong in red.

After swapping your helmet for your team cap, both Redbull drivers approached - Max giving you an overly enthusiastic bro hug, slapping your back so hard it almost hurt but you couldn’t help but laugh. “Amazing job, y/n. Almost got you.”

“Well, thankfully you and the smooth operator were too busy having a family squabble for that.” You teased, pulling back to let Carlos hug you as well, the Spaniard’s strong arms looped around your middle. “Now, if you boys don’t mind me - I have a winner’s interview to do.”

“Good job, y/n. Really happy for you.” Carlos made sure to get his praises in before you head across parc ferme. “See you soon.”

“Congratulations, y/n, what a result!” Naomi looked almost as excited as you as you approached for your post race interview. “How are you feeling right now?”

Your face was already hurting from how much you were smiling, you placed a hand on top of your cap and laughed. “I’m over the moon, this win felt so good.”

“After all you’ve had to deal with since your reveal, this is definitely wonderful to see.” She praised. “You raced spectacularly, anything you’d like to say to the people out there who still doubt you?”

“Honestly? After everything the guys, Max, Pierre, Esteban and Charles especially, put on the line for me, none of it really matters anymore. I have confidence in my skills and talent in this sport and knowing that my rivals believe in me too means everything… I won’t pretend that reading cruel things online will magically stop hurting, but I know what I’m capable of. I’m a world champion for a reason and there’s nothing anyone can say that will take that away from me.”

“Is this the start of your triumphant return, are we going to see you up on the top step now you’ve got your confidence back?”

“I’m ready for whatever the rest of the season throws at me. The championship is still all to play for right now, so I’m going to put my best foot forward and focus on racing.”

“Thank you so much, y/n. Congratulations. Your race winner, everybody!”

You waved at the crowd as you stepped inside to head to the cool-down room, your heart racing. Max and Carlos both greeted you with large smiles as you stepped into the room, the Spaniard playfully swatting at the brim of your cap to knock it from your head - swapping it for the 1st place Pirelli cap. “Much better, hermosa.”

“Thank you, however…” You knelt down to pick up your Ferrari hat, dusting it off before placing it on the table, a teasing lilt to your voice as you spoke. “Don’t disrespect! You can be proud of me for winning without being rude about my team, Carlos. I won’t ever let you forget you were almost one of us.”

“Idiot.” Max mumbled playfully, a strong arm draping across your shoulder - his eyes crinkled up as he smiled. “Congrats again on the win, y/n. You raced like a proper champ.”

“It felt good. Like of course winning is always good but this one felt different. Perhaps it was the timing of it, but there’s something about winning while feeling confident in myself again that makes me hungry for more.” You smiled softly. “To be honest, it felt more like the two of you were pushing me along than racing me… I’d thank you for taking it easy on me but there’s no way that that’s true.”

“You know I’d never do that. It was all you.” The Dutchman scoffed. “How dare you remember how good you are at racing, how am I supposed to beat you now.”

The way you grinned at him, gave Max flashbacks to your karting days together - your genuine joy when you beat him or all of the other boys in races. He could picture the small girl with her hair all messy from her helmet, sticking her tongue out at him when he whined to his Dad that a girl beat him. It’s not fair, she pushed me! When in reality you were just talented from day one. The way anyone could ever doubt you were Thirty bewildered him because you were you. Driven. Passionate.

It was why he never had any issue sharing the podium with you - your wins felt truly earned. Sure every driver had a win or two that they got under unusual circumstances but when the two of you were on those steps together, he could see how much you enjoyed it, no matter which number win it was and finally being able to see your smile made it all the better.

As you lifted your trophy above your head, you scanned the crowd for Charles - who, despite his DNF, was now standing in the front row, smiling up at you with pride. He threw you a cheesy wink as he clapped, not letting his own race ruin this for you. Despite not being your first win of the season, it was your first time on the top step so you relished every second of it - drowning both Redbull drivers in champagne before chugging some of the sparkling liquid. Max made sure he poured his drink down the back of your race suit, something he insisted he missed out having to share with your body double after the last win when you scolded him for it.

You felt on top of the world, all of your criticisms temporarily forgotten when that evening, all you could hear was the clinking of glasses against your own - the girls’ lips all sparkled with champagne as they toasted your victory. As much as you loved the guys, being celebrated by other women made your win all the more special. Lily looped an arm around your middle and pulled you close as Carmen snapped a photo - their laughter twinkling through the air. They gushed on how amazingly you raced, teasing you as your cheeks flushed.

All of this however, didn’t stop Charles watching you from across the bar - your red race suit traded for a gorgeous dress of the same colour, your eyes sparkling under the lights. The confidence you were radiating was intoxicating; he wanted to blame it on the beer he was drinking but there was nothing more he wanted than to have his hands all over you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, everything about you was magnetic. He wanted to steal you from the girls, but he knew you needed this. Even when Max slapped him on the shoulder, he struggled to tear his eyes away.

“She’s not going to vanish if you stop looking at her, mate.” The dutchman teased, Charles finally turned away from you. “Let her celebrate, she knows where you are when she’s ready.”

“Something about her is just…different. Lighter.”

Max smiled softly, secretly fond of how Charles was with you. “She just won a race!”

“No, no. It’s more than that.” The other driver insisted. “But I just can’t put my finger on it… and if you’ll excuse me, I can’t just watch from a distance. She’s too beautiful.”

“Gross.”

He shoved Max lightly on the arm before crossing the bar to get to you, weaving between the flashes of red of those who were still in their team kit. Charles watched Lily give you a look before you cast your eyes over your shoulder - your face cracking into a grin. Your teammate felt grateful you were as pleased to see him as he was you. “Charles.”

“Mon amour.” He hummed, draping an arm around your waist - pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. “Sorry, I couldn’t stay away from you any longer. Having fun?”

“So much. I’m glad you’re here actually, we were just talking about you.” You lent into his touch.

“Oh yeah?”

Lily’s brow raised playfully. “You’ve got a big battle coming, il Predestinato. Now that our girl’s back, you ready to step it up?”

“I don’t think she ever left.” You looked at him as he spoke, his green eyes already fixed on you. “Just needed a little reminder of who she is.”

You smiled softly at him before leaning in to kiss him - his hand coming up to rest on your jaw. “I’ll never forget again thanks to you, and who knows, there’s still 16 races to go… anything could happen.”

“Joint world champions.” He teased, “That ever happened before?”

“Don’t think so.” Your laughter was soft, Charles had practically forgotten the presence of the girls watching you both with a fondness in their eyes. “But if anyone could do it, it would be us.”

“Cheers to that and cheers to you, y/n. I love you.”

You clinked your glass against his. “I love you too.”

***

Yourusername added to their instagram story

***

After your race win in Imola and poor strategy in Monaco from your team - ruining Charles’ chance at a win at his home grandprix, it didn’t take long for you to catch up to your teammate in the points and by the time the chequered flag was waved in Azerbaijan, you were the championship leader and it felt good. You could tell the strategy calls were starting to affect your boyfriend but whenever you brought it up, he told you it was all fine and that he was nothing but happy for you and selfishly, you believed him. You wanted him to feel as excited as you did, and it was the first time in a long time you were feeling good about your career.

Instead, you focused on racing with the same confidence you always knew you had before your reveal and with the people around you always making sure you had a smile on your face - the last few straggling cynics barely made a noise over the roaring crowds every time you lifted a trophy above your head.

Part of you thought maybe you had just become more attentive now you were free to be yourself, but every race that passed seemed to have more and more female fans eager to greet you at the barricades, ecstatic that you were leading the championship even if there was only 7 points in it.

“You’ve got this in the bag, y/n!” They always told you Canadian’s were nice, and it was shown with the way your new poor assistant’s arms were piled high with gifts as fans chatted away with you. You were never allowed to talk to them before as Thirty, so meeting them really was a delight. “Those boys don’t stand a chance.”

“Hmm, I don’t know. Charles is pretty good.” You smiled softly. “But, I’ll tell you what… I’m gonna do my absolute best for you.”

“You’re already the champion in my eyes, regardless of how the season ends.”

“Oh stop, you’re gonna make me cry.” You laughed softly, giving the girl a one armed hug. “I have to go now, thank you all though - for the support, the gifts. I’ll try and win for you today, promise.”

You helped to take some of the gifts from your assistant before heading towards the motorhome, saying hi to the other drivers as you passed by - after the protest, they had much more an effort to include you in idle chit-chat or debates they were having with another driver. Whether it was Esteban trying to get you to convince Mick and Lance that his long standing feud with Max was definitely over or Kevin showing you photos of his kid, it was nice. It was truly all you had ever wanted from your reveal - not just to be a driver, but to feel like one too.

Charles tucked you under his arm before the driver parade started, bickering with Pierre in French about god knows what but the glint in their eyes and the cheeky smile on Charles’ face assured you it was all in good fun. You simply rested your head against your boyfriend, eyes closed as you enjoyed the surprisingly warm weather as you waited for the flatbed to start moving.

“Mon amour, are you falling asleep standing upright?” He teased, squeezing you into his side.

“Mhmm, you’re so comfy, Charles.” You hummed softly, standing up straighter as the engine began to rumble - wanting to wave to the crowds instead of being caught dozing. “Besides, I’ve got to be well rested before I win the race later.”

“Leading the championship and suddenly your ego is massive.” Pierre teased, kicking you lightly in the shin - making you whine and glare at him. “I’m kidding. You deserve to be cocky, you have been very impressive recently.”

You raised a brow. “I’ve got my eyes on you, Gasly.”

“Uh oh, Pierre, you’ve made an enemy of Thirty. You better there’s no chance of the two of you tangling during the race.”

You practically snorted out a laugh. “Oh Charles, he won’t need to worry… unless, maybe I end up lapping him.”

“Oh it is on.”

It was your turn to bicker with Pierre, your boyfriend slipping away to talk to some of the others as the flatbed pulled back in to drop you all off at the pits. You felt in such high spirits when you got in the car that there was just nothing that could stop you - you were sure of it. You were going to get your 3rd title and Ferrari their first WCC since 2018. it felt like you owed them at least that much after keeping you on.

And oh, did you love this track. With its tight barriers hugging the track and long straights, the high speed was risky but made the race all the more exciting. That paired with the two Redbull’s sniffing at your car’s rear end and your teammate starting at the back of the grid, it was bound to be an exciting race.

Max put up a hell of a fight, chasing you down and barely giving you even a second to breathe - he nearly caught you on more than one occasion, but not pitting during the late safety car was his fatal mistake - his pebbled tires were no match for your shiny new softs. And before long you were lifting your second consecutive first place trophy above your head, Max and Lewis alongside you.

You felt untouchable, blowing a kiss in the direction of a small crowd of Redbull fans who had booed you louder than the rest as you’d been handed your trophy before giving their golden boy a good hosing down with your champagne, the two men who you shared the podium with upended the bottles over your head in a bubbling waterfall- a giddy smile on both of your faces as you celebrated.

“Hey congrats.” Lewis grinned, patting you on the shoulder as the three of you stood on the podium for the photo together. “Winning looks better on you every time.”

“Thanks Lewis, means a lot. Especially from you.”

The three of you stepped off the podium for your post race interviews, and you just couldn’t shake the electricity running through you. Not a single interview passed without them commenting on just how different you seemed - how over the course of the past few races, the personality they had loved beneath the helmet seemed to have finally come to the surface. “It’s so nice to see how much you’re enjoying racing again, y/n.”

“Yeah, it’s been really really good.” You smiled, your hands resting against the cool metal barricade in front of you. “Sure, I still see and hear some nasty stuff but it… it just doesn’t feel the same, it doesn’t hurt as bad knowing that I have nothing to prove to them. They’ll never like me, and that’s okay. I have plenty of supporters and friends who love me and back me up no matter what.”

“Well, it’s good to have you back. Hope you enjoy your weekend off, see you at Silverstone.”

You thanked the press before heading back to the Ferrari motorhome, letting out a yelp as you were practically tackled by your boyfriend as he swept you up in his arms. “There’s my race winner.”

“Oh who cares about my race win when you made it up from 19th to 5th!” You laughed, wrapping your arms around him - the warmth from his body made you feel at ease. “That’s far more impressive. You very much deserved the driver of the day, I’m glad your hard work was recognised.”

“Well...” He carefully placed you on the floor, placing his hands on your hips. “How about we take our weekend off to celebrate your phenomenal race and my win, hmm?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck before leaning in to kiss him. He smiled against your lips and pulled you closer, deepening the kiss like you weren’t surrounded by the hustle and bustle of your team packing up now the weekend was over. Neither of you cared, you simply couldn’t get enough of each other.

When you pulled back, you couldn’t help but notice the cheeky glint in his eyes. You let your hand move to rest on his jaw, brushing your thumb across the stubble. “That sounds like an offer I simply can’t refuse.”

***

***

The skies were blue when you touched down in Silverstone, another favourite - a classic; the Tifosi showing wasn’t as big as it used to be but there were enough flashes of red amongst the crowds for you to feel their support. But, much to the disappointment of the Mercedes and Mclaren fans filling the grandstands, you and your team were currently on track to win the whole thing. You’d spent more time than you cared to admit trying to figure out what the earliest race you could win the championship at despite your slow start to the season.

But with Charles, Max and Carlos all having an equally impressive score sheet, you honestly had no idea which way it was going to go - you could only hope it would be in your favour. You’d worked so hard to fight for not only the championship, but the respect you deserved that you knew that you couldn’t stop now. Everything was to play for and you couldn’t back down now.

SC - Welcome one, welcome all to the Formula 1 Lenovo British Grand Prix here at Silverstone, the sun is shining down on all of us Martin and it looks set to be a good race. With the Ferraris and Redbulls occupying the two front rows, it will be a challenge for anyone else to claim victory. Our Championship leader shares the front row with Max Verstappen, who is gaining with each race on her and her teammate Charles Leclerc.

MB - It definitely is one to watch, the battle between the Prancing Horses and Bulls has been thrilling so far this season. I can’t wait to see how this all plays out and with Y/N having claimed podiums in her last six races, I wouldn’t be surprised to see her back on that top step.

SC - I’d put money on it if I was a betting man. Her performance leading up to this point has been something special. But with Max picking up the pace, I think he’s definitely her biggest competitor right now.

MB - Now Crofty, I wouldn’t write young Leclerc off so quickly, he is second place right now.

SC - Well, I’ll guess we’ll just have to wait and see as the grid lines up for the start of the race. The British Grand Prix is about to start, engines are revving… and its lights out, and away we go!

You felt breathless as you pulled into parc ferme, what a race. Despite your win, you couldn’t help but think about Gyanyu, George and Alex - the crash at the start was scary and you were lucky to have not been a part of it with a third of the grid getting tangled up. As much as you loved to win, it was always a bittersweet feeling when others were potentially hurt.

As you climbed out of the car, you made an effort to try and catch as many of the other drivers you knew had been part of the incident as you could as they made their way through parc ferme. You immediately wrapped your arms around Seb as he climbed out of the car, your former teammate giving you a gentle chuckle in response - promising that he was okay. So you glanced around the crowd for your childhood friend, Pierre smirking as he saw you approach. “Aw, coming to check on me?”

“Don’t make me regret it, Gasly.” You chuckled, pulling him into a hug. “But if you’ll excuse me, I did just win. Catch you later.”

You tried to catch Charles before he ducked away but you were ushered towards Lewis and Carlos for the podium interviews. With your fresher tires brought on by Esteban’s safety car, he wasn’t able to hold you off… or Lewis… or Carlos. So he was understandably frustrated. But you were still happy and wanted to celebrate with the team and you were sure once he’d had his moment of annoyance, he’d be happy for you too.

It was hard to have that same attitude when the roles were reversed the following week in Austria, and it was you who barely missed out on the podium and it all came to a head in your driver’s room. “I think we need to talk.”

“Oh?” Charles gently took off his first place cap and placed it on the coffee table. “Everything okay?”

You took a deep breath. “I don’t know why we haven’t had this conversation before but I feel like we need to talk about what happened this week and last week… when one of us wins and the other doesn’t. I think we need to find the balance of being able to understand how the other one feels versus celebrating the winner.”

“Yeah, yeah I get that. Well…” He approached you slowly, placing his hands on your hips - giving a gentle squeeze. “The winner can be sympathetic and the other can be supportive, but if one of us has a particularly bad race when the other wins then we just check in on how they feel first before jumping for joy at the win.”

“We’re both in with a chance of winning this whole thing, we have to promise not to let that get in the way of what we have.” You looped your arms around his neck, scratching lightly at the nape of his neck. “I'm really happy with you and I don’t want me beating you to ruin that.”

“Oh, you’re gonna beat me are you?” Charles chuckled. “Well, best of luck, mon amour. You’re gonna need it.”

***

***

Leading up the summer break, things stayed on the up for you but not so much for Charles the agreement between the two of you more in force than ever. Hungary was the last race before you could enjoy a relaxing few weeks away from the paddock but with Charles’ DNF in France the weekend before he’d lost 2nd in the WDC to Max, the Dutchman now 5 points ahead thanks to his victory and it was clearly bothering him. You were soaring ahead and he was starting to be left behind - you 33 points ahead.

Charles spent as much time as he could with fans, making sure not one was missed - chatting away, taking photos and bringing as many smiles to their faces as he could. He would always be the tifosi’s golden boy; despite you leading, he would always have a special place in their hearts and you couldn’t blame them. There was something charming and gentle about him, he was impossible to dislike. The way he avidly listened to every word fans said to him, the look on his face full of genuine interest. He was so kind and you knew someday he was going to live up to the massive expectations they had all put on his shoulders - you wanted to win the championship, but someday it was going to be his turn and you knew that he would have their support every step of the way.

As you finally stepped away from the crowds, you linked your fingers with his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze - noticing his deflated stature as you walked towards the motorhome. Neither have you qualified on pole and his hopes of winning were being diminished by the minute. “You looked like you were having a good time with the fans, what’s the matter? Talk to me…”

“I hate to say it, amour, but now that you’re off ahead in the distance - I’m gonna have to play the role of second driver.” He grumbled softly. “I really want you to do well, y/n, I do, but I want it to be fair.”

A soft sigh left your lips and you turned him to face you, his green eyes locked on yours. “I won’t let it be unfair. I’m gonna talk to my engineers and let them know how I feel about it.. When I beat you, it’s all gonna be on my own merit.”

The corner of his mouth tugged into a smile, shaking his head a little. Your heart skipped a beat at his laughter, his strong arms looping around your middle. “And when I beat you, it’ll be because I deserve it too.”

“Exactly. We’re equals.” You lent up to press a kiss to his lips, your arms wrapping around his neck. “Last race until the summer break, we just have to get through this and then you and I can escape to your yacht and make the most of the privacy.”

“You are beyond tempting.” He purred, pulling you in closer. “If we weren’t surrounded by all these prying eyes, I’d have you exactly where I want you.”

A giggle escaped you, you raised a playful brow at him. “Well, then what are we waiting for? Your driver’s room has a lock on the door, doesn’t it?”

Your teammate groaned, his nose nudging against yours before he kissed you with even more intensity than before - not caring about the cameras or poor staff members walking past you both to get into the building. The butterflies erupted in your stomach as he smiled against your lips, not wasting a second more before he tugged you into the building towards his driver room. He pressed your back against the door as he closed it, his pupils blown with lust as they scanned your figure. “As pretty as you look in red…”

“I’d look better in nothing?” You teased, slipping your hands under his polo - he shivered as your cold hands ran across his skin. “C’mon, Charles. You can do better than that.”

“You’re impossible.” He shook his head, dropping his voice to a whisper as his lips brushed across your skin. “Tu es délicieux(1)…je t’aime de tout mon coeur(2).”

You couldn’t help the moan that escaped you. “God, you speaking French really does something to me.. Don’t stop.”

He tugged you away from the door as he pulled your polo over your head, lips only breaking from your skin to mutter filth in french. You were weak at the knees as he pulled back to look at you - his lips shiny with your gloss. You reached up to brush your thumb across his bottom lip before tugging on his chin gently to bring him back into a kiss as he began to work on the button of your jeans.

“Did you lock the door?” You managed to get out, feeling breathless but your boyfriend seemed relentless, grunting in response as he dropped to his knees to pull your jeans over your hips, tugging you lightly so you thumped down on the couch with a soft oof. “Charles, the door.”

“You’re killing me.” He whined, running his hands up the insides of your thighs - pushing them apart. “Je ne peux pas supporter d'être loin de toi ne serait-ce qu’un instant(3), amour.”

You draped a leg over his shoulder. “If anyone walks in, I’ll run you off the track later.”

His lips curved into a devilish smirk. “Deal.”

****

charles_leclerc posted to his instagram stories

***

Next part >>>

(1) you’re delicious

(2) I love you with all my heart

(3) I can't stand being away from you for even a moment

I hope you enjoyed ❤️ thank you for all your continued support regardless of my terrible posting schedule

Want to be notified when I post? Join our discord, head over to #reaction-roles and click the sunflower 🌻

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

MusiQ vol.13 - Aoi (August 2008)

葵 - the GazettE

Inner Landscapes

"It’s probably different from what you imagine…"

Shining a spotlight on Aoi not just as a member of the GazettE, but as an individual artist and human being—a perspective not easily discerned from his band persona.

THEME INTERVIEW - 1

"Friendship"

― Do you have many friends? "I think I have few."

― Has it always been that way? "Not really. Back in school, it felt like everyone was friends. I used to hang out in big groups. There were three middle schools in our area, but school or grade didn’t really matter. Since we’d known each other since we were little, we called each other by our first names instead of our last names."

― Do you still keep in touch with your school friends? "I do with some, but a lot of people have left Mie, and I’ve lost contact with some of them."

― What does 'friend' mean to you? "A friend is someone you don’t have to act polite around. I’m very considerate and sensitive, so a friendship where we can say things like, 'Aren’t you hungry? Let’s go grab a meal'. Friendship isn’t something you decide, like 'Let’s become friends.' It’s more like realizing one day that someone has always been there beside you."

― Are the band members different from friends? "It’s a bit different. With the members, sometimes I feel like I need to be considerate, and there are things that are hard to say. Sometimes I wonder, 'What do they think?' I think you shouldn’t let things get too casual. If you have a relationship where you just let things slide, it can affect the music… Also, it’s a little awkward. It’s hard for me to talk about a lot of things with the members."

― Do you have friends nearby now? "I don’t think there’s anyone in Tokyo I could truly call a friend."

― Isn’t that lonely? "It is. But I don’t really leave the house much. I can’t even go out to eat alone. During tours, I often just get food from convenience stores. When I go back to Mie, I meet up with my friends there. At home, I’m outgoing and go to various places. But in Tokyo, I can’t quite adapt. I hate crowds, and being a country boy at heart, I still struggle to get used to the city."

THEME INTERVIEW - 2

"Love"

― What are you like when you’re in love? "I’m considerate (laughs)."

― Men and women focus on different things when being considerate. What do you focus on? "Everything (laughs)."

― So, you must be very kind, then? "That’s why it’s exhausting. Honestly, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t want to do anything. I like to just relax and laze around."

― Then, would you prefer someone you don’t have to be considerate toward? "Not really. I think I’d end up being considerate with anyone. Maybe after 10 or 20 years together, it’d be different, but who knows?"

― Do you also pay attention to their emotional state, like asking, 'Are you okay?' "Ah, I do say things like that. Probably to the point of being annoying (laughs)."

― What do you look for in a woman? "I don’t want someone who expects too much from me. Like constantly saying 'Hey, hey!'—I’d rather not deal with that (laughs). I’d like her to keep some distance and not be too clingy. I’d like them to be able to live on their own strength (laughs)."

― So, you prefer independent women? "Yes, that’s definitely easier. Someone who isn’t working is already out of the question (laughs)."

― Not even working a part-time job? "I’d want her to work part-time at least four days a week (laughs). Since I’m often away, being attached all the time would be tiring. I think a person who’s independent, leaves me to my own space, and has her own opinions is attractive."

― Even if she’s a little strong-willed? "That’s totally fine. Though, if they’re outright combative, that’d be annoying (laughs)."

― You prefer someone who’s career-oriented? "Well, if they’re working six days a week, that’s a problem. If we can’t see each other at all, that’d be lonely, wouldn’t it?"

― (laughs) That’s tricky. "I’m waiting for someone like that (laughs)."

THEME INTERVIEW - 3

"Family"

― Can you tell us about your family structure? "My dad, mom, older sister, older brother, and me."

― Is there a big age gap between you and your older sister and brother? "Yes, there is. My sister is nine years older, and my brother is seven years older."

― What’s something you’re glad about being the youngest? "I’m not sure, but according to my sister and brother, my dad didn’t yell at me that much (laughs). 'Dad told you to at least go to high school, and you went, but when you quit after the first semester, he didn’t say anything.'"

― Were you raised surrounded by love? "Was I? I don’t know. Since there’s a big age gap, by the time I entered middle school, my sister wasn’t at home anymore, and my brother had already moved out. My dad was working away from home, so he only came back on weekends. I was mostly at home with just my mom."

― So, were you a mama’s boy? "Well, I don’t know. I love both my parents."

― Do you think you’ve been a good son to your parents? "No, I’d say I’m still mostly in the 'bad son' phase (laughs)."

― Do you call them sometimes? "I do. When there’s a final live in Tokyo, they come to stay at my place."

― Isn’t that a nice way to show gratitude? "Well, when they come over, food gets stocked up, so I think, 'Great!' (laughs)."

― Does your mom read the magazines you’re in? "Yes, she does. My parents’ house is crazy. When you open the front door, there’s Gazette stuff everywhere—posters, autographs, everything."

― Anything you’d like to say to your mom? "Mom, thank you for everything (laughs)."

― How do you think fans perceive you, Aoi? "Eh? I think i'm probably different from what they imagine. Fans probably think I'm very serious…"

― Are you very serious? "Yeah, well they might think I just sit in front of my PC all the time, making music. But no, no (laughs)."

― So it’s far from the truth? "Completely different (laughs). I guess it's because I only talk about that kind of stuff in interviews. Like, ‘I’m always making music’"

― But in reality? "In reality, I do sit in front of my PC, but I take a break every hour (laughs). I can’t keep my focus for long. I’ll suddenly go play darts and then think, ‘Let’s have some coffee.’"

― I get it. You want to take breaks constantly. "Exactly. I spend so much time on breaks that the day just flies by (laughs). Also, I don’t get started unless there’s a deadline looming. That hasn’t changed since the days of summer vacation homework."

― Like panicking on August 30th or 31st? "I really rush then. That’s why I often say I pull all-nighters, but that’s only when I’m pushing myself at the last minute. I’m making music now, but it’s hard to get started. So, I try to meditate sometimes."

― Really? "Well, it’s more like zoning out while watching TV (laughs). I’m always thinking about music. But unless I solidify the image in my mind first, I can’t start. If I don’t carefully plan it, things won’t fit together, and I hate that. If even one part feels lame, it really bothers me. I want to put out something I’m truly satisfied with. Maybe that’s why people think I’m serious.

― How do you unwind at home? "Basically, any time I’m not sitting at my PC (laughs). I used to work in the living room, but when I turned around and saw the bathroom or other distractions, it was hard to focus. So now I’ve moved all my equipment to a plain room near the front door."

― The bathroom is a distraction? "The bath is amazing, right? Don’t you feel refreshed? It’s great, but if I’m not careful, I’ll end up having a beer after my bath. And then it’s game over—I just go to bed. But I usually come up with songs in the bath."

― Then it’s an amazing space, isn’t it? "Yeah, but it has its risks too, so it’s a double-edged sword. But when I’m in the bath, I think that’s when I’m the most 'in the zone."

― In the zone? "In my mind, yeah. I’m not actually dancing in the bathroom. In my mind, I’m having an intense live performance. Of course, it’s for a new original song."

葵 - the GazettE

Inner Landscapes

"It’s probably different from what you imagine…"

Shining a spotlight on Aoi not just as a member of the GazettE, but as an individual artist and human being—a perspective not easily discerned from his band persona.

― Aoi, you have this laid-back, unique vibe that feels reminiscent of old-school rock musicians. "What, like I’m careless? (laughs)"

― No, no, that’s not what I meant. I heard you learned guitar from your older brother? "Yeah, that’s right. Back in his high school days, during his rebellious phase, my brother was in a band and played guitar. It looked like a lot of fun, so I wanted to join in, but he kicked me out (laughs). Instead, he gave me one guitar, a book with chords and lyrics in it, and said, 'Here, I'll lend you this. Go practice downstairs.' So I started practicing around middle school."

― What kind of songs were you practicing back then? "I practiced songs by X Japan using chords. But it was on a classical guitar, so it wasn't really rock at all (laughs). Then, after my brother graduated from high school, I asked him for his guitar, and that’s when I got my first electric guitar—but it was broken."

― Oh no, so no sound came out even when you connected it to an amp? "Yeah. I had saved up all my New Year’s money and had my dad take me to buy a small amp. I was so excited. But when I got home and there was no sound, I just started crying."

― (Laughs) That’s such a disappointment. "Totally. But from late elementary school to my third year of middle school, I was delivering newspapers. So in middle school, I saved up and bought my own electric guitar. It was the best thing ever! I was so happy that I even slept with the guitar. That time in my life was super busy. I’d deliver newspapers in the morning, go to school during the day, play baseball in the school club, and then practice guitar at night before going to bed. I didn’t even have time to do homework."

― It sounds like you didn’t have much motivation from the start. "Not at all. Kids are busy, you know? (laughs) But after I dropped out of high school, I stopped playing guitar. I wanted to become a professional musician, but my brother told me how tough the reality of it was. It kind of crushed my dream. My brother really loved music too, but he ended up working a normal job. So I thought, Yeah, that’s just how it goes."

― So you decided to take a different path. "Yeah, I was kind of aimlessly drifting along, and at the time, the older brother of a girl I was dating was into surfing."

― (Laughs) Another older brother. "Right. I can’t seem to do anything without someone else’s influence (laughs). But when I tried surfing, I was like, This is fun! Most people say they can’t stand on the board at first, but I was able to stand right away. I thought, I’ve got talent for this."

― Did you think, I’m going to be a pro surfer!? "Yeah, I was aiming for it. The word 'pro' just sounds cool, doesn’t it? Like being a professional baseball player or something."

― So you’ve always been drawn to careers in the spotlight? "Looks like it (laughs). I even entered surfing competitions. Actually, the first time I was featured in a magazine, it was in a surfing magazine (laughs)."

― How long were you into surfing? "About two or three years, I think. I had so much energy back then. I’d go to the ocean in the morning, take a nap at noon, head back to the ocean in the evening, and then work at night."

― Busy as ever. "Yeah, super busy. That was my life. But one night, I was watching a late-night TV show, and they featured an indie band. I got this idea in my head, like, I could do better than them. Once I thought that—well, here we are. In the end I decided, “Alright, I’m going to Tokyo”. Just like that (laughs)."

― But you weren’t even in a band at the time, right? "No, I wasn't. But I thought, If I go to Tokyo, I’ll figure it out somehow. That same day, I told my parents about it. Of course, I couldn’t just quit my job immediately, so I worked for another month, then said, Alright, I’m off. During that month, I practiced guitar like crazy."

― That’s pretty reckless. "Definitely reckless. Even I think I was stupid (laughs). Like, What was I even thinking?"

― But that’s the important part, isn’t it? "Sure, it worked out now, so it’s fine, but if it hadn’t, I’d just be a fool (laughs). So I arrived in Tokyo with no money, no place to stay, and I thought I might just take a live-in newspaper delivery job. But then an acquaintance said, My sister and her husband live in Tokyo—why don’t you stay with them for a while? I thought, This is too good to be true! (laughs). They even helped me find a job, and I worked part-time while putting together a band. One of the people I played with back then was actually the previous drummer of the GazettE."

― That kind of lifestyle must have contributed to that "rock" vibe you give off. "Now that I think about it, my parents were probably the most rock and roll part of the whole thing for letting me go to Tokyo (laughs). They gave me just enough money for a round trip, probably thinking I’d be back in no time. And then seven, eight years went by, and here we are (laughs)."

― What does your brother, the one who taught you guitar, say now that you’ve made it big with the GazettE? "He doesn’t say anything directly. But my brother’s wife showed me a video she secretly filmed, and in it, my brother was playing a cover of a GazettE song (laughs)."

― (laughs) The roles are reversed now. "I thought, "Big Bro, you're doing great!". Maybe you're a little better than me (laughs)"

― (laughs) So, how do you think the band members perceive you? "I’m not really sure. I don't really want to ask or know about it, to be honest. It would suck if they thought weird things about me, right?"

― (laughs) But you’re sensitive, so you must think about things like that. "I think about it a lot. (laughs). For some reason, Uruha seems a bit distant toward me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older or because we’re both guitarists. Of course, we talk a lot during the creative process, but outside of that, not so much. That bothers me a bit (laughs)."

― A curious sense of distance. "Yeah, like... in a group photo kind of way (laughs). But he’s still within reach, you know? Back in the day, we used to share hotel rooms on tour, and we’d talk a lot about what kind of sound we wanted to create. But now, we’re in separate rooms, and compared to then, we don’t talk as much. I feel a bit lonely (laughs)."

― You could just start a conversation. "But I wouldn’t know what to say (laughs). I see him chatting happily with everyone else, and I think, good for him (laughs). Just the other day, even though I felt awkward, I called him and asked, Hey, Uruha, how do you watch terrestrial digital broadcasts? And he replied, You should probably just ask someone at the electronics store about that (laughs)."

― (laughs) You're embarrassed.

"Well, I’m not gay or anything (laughs)."

― (laughs) I didn’t mean that at all. "Well, lately Uruha is the one I find myself thinking about the most in the GazettE."

― But listening to you talk, it seems like you’re shy. It’s as if you don’t want to be seen as too serious about it. "Shy—that’s a nice way to put it (laughs). There’s just something awkward about being with the members. When we’re doing music, we speak our minds, we get angry, we say whatever we need to. But outside of that, even saying, Let’s grab something to eat, feels hard to say. If they said no, it would hurt, wouldn’t it? I’d regret even asking... (laughs). So I usually invite the manager instead, but when he says no, I get annoyed (laughs). Like, You don’t have the right to say no to me! (laughs). Honestly, though, I’d love to eat with everyone and just talk. I guess this is what being shy is about."

― So that’s why you end up being alone? "Yeah. Maybe I don’t actually like being alone. It might just be that I don’t have a choice (laughs). Am I lonely?! Because of this, when this magazine is released, I’m thinking of secretly buying it and leaving it at the members’ houses (laughs)."

― (laughs) Got it. Lastly, the GazettE is currently working on new material, right? "Yeah, we’re really diving into it. When we worked on the last single, Guren, it was during a tour, but now we’re in an environment where we can fully concentrate, so the songs are really powerful. It’s not so much about the style of the music, though."

― Is it influenced by the energy you got from the tour? "Yeah, that’s part of it. The band is really in an aggressive mode right now. We’re sharp, you could say. So, if you’re not careful, you might get taken by surprise. If you underestimate us, you’ll get burned. Right now, we’re fired up. And if it turns out to be a ballad... Then, well... my bad (laughs).

― (laughs) "But honestly, I’m really excited right now. We’re putting everything we have into making these songs. Everyone’s gotten super dedicated, so I think there will be some intense clashes in the studio. At the very least, I’m planning to bring the heat."

― You’re usually so considerate, though. "When we’re creating, though, there’s no room for being considerate. If you compromise in music, then it’s over. I really believe that."

― Aoi, you also get various comments about the songs and phrases you come up with, right? "When I’m working on the basic elements, I take in feedback. But once the song moves to the next stage, I present it by saying, This is how the song is, and this is my vision. But especially with Uruha, I get nervous. If he says, Yeah, it’s good, it feels like I’ve won. I’ll do a little fist pump in my mind (laughs)."

― You’ve also got a live show at Fuji-Q Highland Conifer Forest on August 23rd, right? "Yeah, it’s our first outdoor live in two years, so I want it to feel a bit like a festival. Last time at Tokyo Big Sight, we had fireworks and food stalls, so this time, being at Fuji-Q, it’ll be a completely different atmosphere. We’re looking forward to it, and I’m sure you all are too, right?"

― So, better finish your homework early. "Yeah, that's right. If I don't finish it by the 30th, I probably won’t be able to show up at our live show properly (laughs)."

A band is nothing without live shows

What a rock band should be

~the GazettE~

Written by Hiroko Yamamoto

I hardly know anything about the GazettE's indie days. The only thing I remember is seeing them perform at an event when Shibuya’s O-WEST was still called ON AIR WEST. However, I vividly remember that time. It felt almost like a spell. Perhaps it was the atmosphere on stage, including the fanaticism of the fans, that gave me a sense of fear.

Although it’s not included in this interview, Aoi mentions that during the early tours, even when they went to Hokkaido, they didn’t have the budget to stay in hotels. He recalls sleeping in the car during the dead of winter and being warned by a police officer the next morning, "If you sleep here, you'll freeze to death." In the DVD, he also says that the GazettE is a band that took the long route. In an era where you can search anything with a cell phone or a computer, opting not to take shortcuts but instead relentlessly performing live across the country is, in my opinion, a lot more demanding than it would have been for bands active 20 or 30 years ago. After all, when you start drawing a crowd, temptations are everywhere.

When I asked during an interview for their single Guren why they continued to play so many live shows, their response was crystal clear: “Simply put, a band is all about performing live.”, “If you neglect that, it’s like denying everything.”, “If people don’t come to see us live, there’s no point.”, “Even interviews and photoshoots are ultimately connected to our live shows.” This stubborn and resolute attitude hasn’t changed at all, even as they enter their seventh year as a band. I believe that even when the GazettE celebrates their 10th or 20th anniversary, they will still give the same answer. They describe themselves as awkward, but perhaps they’ve always been focused on what truly matters, while eliminating anything they consider impure.

One result of that is their grand final shows at Osaka-jo Hall and the two-day performance at the Yoyogi National Gymnasium. The overwhelming, thunderous cheers they received were proof that their fans were thirsting for the GazettE. The heat and energy in the venue were so intense that the microphones set up for recording were nearly toppling over. In the midst of that incredible atmosphere, the GazettE stood tall, poised and composed. They played their music and exchanged energy with those who needed it. There was no pretension, nor any forced attempts at unification. Everything unnecessary was stripped away. What remained were songs and performances that stirred the soul—the essence of what a rock band should be. No matter how common downloads become, no matter how advanced technology gets and how perfectly crafted recorded music becomes, it will never compare to the immediacy and thrill of a live performance. The GazettE probably knew that long ago…

Review

Highly acclaimed! The writer's “post-interview” review.

葵 (the GazettE)

Aoi’s first solo interview. He had analyzed himself as a sensitive and thoughtful person, which was absolutely true. Although he was a little shy during the questions, he still made me laugh and was very attentive to the atmosphere of the conversation. Still, that doesn’t mean he came across like the “friendly older brother” type. The unique aura and sensuality of a true rock musician were unshaken throughout the interview—something that left a lasting impression. I knew about the GazettE’s fierce dedication to their music, where heated arguments are commonplace, but I was surprised to learn that in everyday conversation, Aoi finds it awkward to even say, “Wanna grab a meal?”(laughs). His shy side as a guitarist shines through, even as he sneakily sends messages (or pleas?) to his bandmates through the magazine.

―――――――――― ―――――――――― ――――――――――

Scans cr: The Archive Translation: ChatGPT

[katerinaaqu]

Okay so that people will not think that I am an unecessary hater here are some things that I actually liked or loved about Epic the Musical:

So everyone who knows me, I openly express my dislike on the changes of Epic the Musical (although as I say many times the music is really good, the production very passionate and I congratulate the creator for getting so much love despite the fact that I personally dislike his artistic choice on the matter)

However here's a small list of things that I actually liked very much about the musical (sorry if it gets long!)

The first two sagas:

Honestly the two sagas (Troy and Storm) were masterpieces not only song-wise but also plot-wise. The adaptation remained loose with many things being adapted for modern audiences but it was still generic to the Epic Cycle in general and Odyssey in particular. The pace of the plot was quick like the fall of Troy was, the heroes speak as if they are on the right ("tonight we shall make the Trojans pay") to encourage each other even though then the reality check falls on them. Amazing fast pace songs give their turn to a slow and dramatic one

Odysseus and Astyanax:

More specifically as a sequence on the above I really liked the way the myth was depicted and again very loosely adapted off Iliou Persis version which is the one version we know where Odysseus clearly kills the baby with his own hands by "throwing it off the walls". Even if generally I am more aligned with the version of the myth that has Neoptolemous doing it, the fact that we have the actual protagonist do the brutal act was a very good touch and I love it how he uses only that small and so under-analyzed concept and he created a very beautiful moral dilemma. The setting stone of "monster vs man" was a promising thing too (although I personally got disappointed at the actual execution of it because of the changes in storyline). The way that Odysseus knows it is the logical choice to kill the heir of Troy and it tears him apart inside is not just amazingly executed but also very much IC with Homer's Odysseus.

Full Speed Ahead:

No need for explanations here. The song was great, was keeping in touch with the original Odyssey, spirit of Odysseus on-point and the essence of it great! Although it was way too happy after the darkness of the "Just a Man" one can understand that the tension created should be released and somehow it did point out the coping mechanism of Odysseus at some parts of the Odyssey which also lead to many emotional breakdowns for Odysseus (ironically the most infamous was the one that got him to offend Poseidon in the first place)

Giving Eurylochus and Polites more lines:

Eurylochus is known for questioning the authority of Odysseus and Polites for being his best friend but in general we do not see too much of them in the Odyssey (especially Polites who only appears once as mentioned at Circe's island). Even if making Polites a bubbly token character to balance the whole emotional burden of the war was a bit too overused theme for me I didn't dislike it per se. And it was good that he plays a good balancing role there. Also generally speaking Eurylochus's character development was not bad either (daresay I liked his character development more than Epic!Odysseus! XD) because it starts from a strong but opinionated man to a basic arch-rival figure to the end part.

Which is why I was kinda disappointed that Polites was killed off at Polyphemus's cave because it seemed to me that he was there for the drama (even future scholiasts of the Odyssey do not think that Polites was in the cave at all yet alone killed in it) but again given that Polites is pretty much a clean slate character if that was like the major change of it I wouldn't necessarily mind it.

Warrior of the Mind:

The song was beautiful and it captured Athena's essence very well (minus the very much overused mind vs heart content of hers which is good that it was somehow rectified a bit with God Games given that Athena was never against emotions neither did she try to stop her champions from having them and she doesn't make separation of logic vs emotions. In fact she fires up emotions to her champions many times knowing what a helpful thing emotion is. I think he overplayed the fact that Athena encourages logic to make her "cold logic material" but that wasn't really my issue so much I mean it is just an over-used trope but it is not completely inaccurate).

It was interesting to connect the boar of Parnassus to Athena (which is again a common trope in greek mythology that gods send random tests for whoever is worthy) and how ellegedly Athena and Odysseus meet in this context. Again it has nothing to do with the original Odyssey and yet this loose adaptation of their meeting was an interesting interraction with a lot of potential and emotional connection. I also like how Athena appears more cold in her speech like "change from the way I designed you" or "don't disappoint me" which is basically a genuine trope of Athena's. Like every champion of hers that disappointed her (for example Tydeus) didn't really end up well! Which is a change I adored for the Musical adaptation

About 2.5/3 of "Remember Them"

Okay the part with the dialog with Athena had me cringing a bit but the rest of the song was a masterpiece. Odysseus saying that there is no time to bury or mourn but have time only to save themselves and remember their fallen friends afterwards is EXACTLY what Odysseus would say and encourage his men to work their backs on something to save themselves and get out of their nasty situation. Also the final 45 seconds of it with his name reveal was probably what hyped me and wanted to get into the musical in the first place (before I started disliking the changes) because it was EXACTLY how it would go down! Also the choice for Odysseus's name officially be revealed on that song was incredibly clever and very nicely chosen

So basically I would only remove the dialog with Athena there given how it just didn't do justice in my head to the extremely complicated situation that led to him revealing himself. I also felt that the line "let's grab the sheep and away we go" was a bit too hasty to show their escape given how much complicated it was but I also understand the way to keep the song going and that wouldn't be done by adding a dramatic angst in the middle. That would mean that there should be a song in-between with their escape and that the second half of "remember them" would turn into a reprise of some kind. So yeah I understand that.

How Much Longer:

That song was also amazing and again not an event that happens to Odyssey but something that perfectly aligns with the spirit of it. Having Eurylochus openly disagreeing here and Odysseus taking him to the side to talk to him, the way that Odysseus comes up with a crazy plan before to groppel upon the castle that floats in the sky etc. It was a great foreshadowing on the actual events that follow which again seem to align greatly with the Odyssey and the events of it even if that itself is not linked to the material itself.

Done For:

Again one more song that I hyped over was "Done For". Harmonies were perfect, the way that the two of them have a duet, which is something that doesn't happen before in order to signify their aligning was amazing and the way Odysseus acts like a cheeky bastard there was something I adored. (Of course got crushed with "Other Ways" hehehe but the build up till there was great. To be fair "Other Ways" till that freaking "I can't!" or the whole "seduce so you can kill him" theme which also kinda ruined it fo4 me, was also a masterpiece to me, like I mention to another post of mine it would be great if the song was to signify their intercourse). The song was a perfect adaptation of the homeric poem for modern audiences (for it doesn't include everything like Odysseus drinking the potion, Circe being terrified and in wonder that her spell doesn't work on him etc) and it keeps the essential part of their interraction making it into a great choreography (with the exceptions of the "I have to protect my nymphs!" thing but again if that was the only change they made on it I wouldn't mind it so much at all in fact it is interesting that the nymph servants of the goddess mentioned in the Odyssey make a cameo here. Would i have liked that we wouldn't get a toned down Circe and instead we got her in her gray glory? Absolutely. But like I said if that was the only thing added here i wouldn't have minded it so much. Unfortunately though it was the whole Circe misadventure that was changed so yeah for me it was potential lost but i hyped at Done For).

Chorus of the Underworld:

Like you know I am one of the exceptions that wasn't impressed by the Underworld Saga and found it brushed off however the idea to add the dead men singing and bringing more guilt to Odysseus was an idea I knew Jorge would go with and he did and it was interesting. Not only the melody of that part was really beautiful and haunting but also the impact was great (I will just choose to ignore the part of "ruthlessness is mercy" and the "klling of cyclops" because of thesame reason that I didn't like the dialog between Athena and Odysseus before the revelation of his name). I also liked the parts of Odysseus's solos but for the rest of it again I think it would be more impactful to me if the original plot was followed more faithfully.

Tiresias song was good, very good actually, as a song but as I mentioned to another post of mine, too vague, too not answering anything.

The rest felt scrapped off. I would love to see at least one or two of the interractions of Odysseus with the dead especially his mother because as I mentioned before it is of outmost importance that Odysseus knew beyond doubt that his mother didn't just die waiting, she died BECAUSE she was waiting. And that has a big difference for me. But again that is just my opinion.

Aphrodite speaking of other types of love:

Gods Games is just a not for me for many reasons but the detail of Aphrodite mentioning a mother's love intead of romantic love was a great touch and amazingly changed from the usual reoccuring pattern of romantic love or passion. It was good that her arguement was based on a mother's love and pain and ironically Aphrodite herself is a mother who has children to protect

The final part of Love in Paradise:

The rest of the song was ak-ok for me (and thank the old gods and the new that at least THIS experience of Odysseus was kept faithful to the original up to one point. I mean the sexual abuse is not touched there directly but given the leap of time and the condition Odysseus is to the final part one can expect that it did happen maybe? I am talkng only on the perspective of the listener since I do not know the background info on it). In my mind it happens and the song just dodges to addrsss it like it happened before but as I said that is only me hearing THIS specific song not any other around it or the background info of it.

But the final part where Odysseus stands at the edge ready to throw himself at the sea to his death is definitely having me "FUCKING FINALLY!" and be so happy that they kept that dark theme at least! Because I simply loved that essence of the myth in the Odyssey and it was something I can absolutely see happening myself and contemplating it as a scene when reading the Odyssey; how Odysseus might possibly make more than one attempt against his life and Calypso stopping him somehow.

The rest of the song was okay as I said before and thankfully it was touching the homeric thing (I lso liked how Jorge chose to get there by having us hear the small portions of other songs as Athena "scans" although as I said the chole concept of "my goodbye" or something just didn't align to me) but the choice was really good but as I said before it was the final part that truly got me! With the final prayer to Athena which again would be something I would SO imagine myself Odysseus would do! In fact I myself imagining him doing it many times over!

That part was probably my favorite so far and is just a few seconds! Which again makes me wish more things were like that...

~*~*~*~

Anyways I believe that concludes it so far. Generally as you know I am not a fan and no I do not have problem seeing this as "different media" or "loose adaptation" or "retelling" or whatever. It just is not my cup of tea and I it doesn't need to be (and the fact that it is so changed beyond recognition of the original is what makes me think of it of yet another average "loosely based on" holywood film material and we have had enough f those already in my opinion of course). I still adore the harmonies the music the singers and such are amazing and the passion is apparent

Is just that I just cannot stand the butchering of the story to the point of literally being easy to replace the characters names and still with the proper background buildup the story can still be told! Because it is not the Odyssey anymore.

HOWEVER

No one said that I disliked every single bit of it. This is a small sample of things that I liked and a small reasoning why. I hope that helps

[penncilkid]

Been thinking about my experiences as a POC within fandom while also being an artist and how much that sucks sometimes. This is primarily in regards to the Redacted fandom, but could be applied to any other fandom honestly.

Proper "fussing" under the cut (for those who would rather not see):

Sometimes, I really stop and think about what it must be like to be a white person in fandom, especially when you're an artist. To see yourself reflected in the spaces you exist in all the time. There are some exceptions to this, of course. For example, lack of body diversity is just as much of a problem in my opinion (Like fat people exist. Disabled people exist. Fat, disabled people exist. You can draw them, y'know? /rhet) But generally speaking, it's not difficult to find designs that probably look like you. There will be blondes, brunettes, redheads even— It's everywhere you look.

I don't think most people realize how isolating that ends up feeling though.

Because it's not just the fact that most of the art/designs you'll stumble upon won't resemble you. It's the fact that the prevalence dictates how everyone else interacts with fandom too.

Do you know how much it sucks seeing a post saying "So we all agree that Asher's blonde, right?" and knowing that most people are thinking of a white guy and nothing else?

Or noticing how Alexis, a generally "hated" character in the fandom, is the only vampire most people are willing to make visibly brown?

How about the fact that Gavin, the "thrilling" and "sexy" incubus, has so many black and brown designs— But I can count the non-white Lasko designs I've come across on my hand?

People can do whatever they want. I've said it before, and I'll continue to repeat it when I make these rambles. If you want to make every single design you have varying shades of white and never stray from that, that's your prerogative. But for the love of god, I wish I didn't feel like I was fucking crazy for talking about how much that shit sucks to see as a person of color.

On top of that, do you know how frustrating it is to watch white artists get praised for generic diversity when POC artists have been consistently bringing forth such compelling, stunning designs to table? Like I see the kind of shit that gets praised in this fandom and what doesn't. Racial ambiguity or the slightest addition of a curl gets treated like it's revolutionary— And that's only if it's the "correct" character. It has to "make sense", right? The same way Sam has to have sun-kissed, golden skin even after he's been turned, or the way Guy has to be white because there's no way someone with that personality could be anything but.

Do you know what it's like to be filled with such a sense of joy because someone made a design where a character had your skin tone or hair texture or facial feature? Like, I genuinely have a strong reaction whenever I find a black or brown design in this fandom because they're so rare in comparison to everything else. And when I really stop to think about that, I realize how fucked up of a phenomenon that is.

I love the designs that I've made, but I've also noticed which ones "do better" comparably. I don't change much of anything with how I go about posting or promoting them. The only difference is that some of them fit what is considered widely "canon" in fandom. And the others... don't. I go out of my way to make every design POC in some regard, and you can usually tell visually even without the addition of colors. I'm not gonna stop doing that because I know why I started in the first place. But fuck, it does start to hurt seeing white artists with the same general white designs get hyped up endlessly while I internally debate if I should even make another character look like me or not. If it'll even matter to anyone but me.

Some days, I just really wish it didn't feel like shit being black in this fandom. I hate knowing that I'm gonna post this, and I'll probably get responses for other people of color primarily.

But maybe putting this out will help that pill get easier to swallow.

[psychologeek]

I just think it’s wack that you only care about Israeli civilians. Yes their lives mattered. But instead of focusing on the real reason why they died, ie, the tremendously irresponsible government of Israel and their bloodthirsty colonialist mission, you focus on “”””antisemitism””””” where there really is none. I’m sure there’s like two (2) antisemitic pro Palestinians. The vast majority of us are normal people who want peace and freedom, and for Israel to stop killing people. And for Israeli innocents to stop dying too. Some of us are even Jews who finally woke up. Sincerely, a Jew who’s tired of colonisation being done in our name

So, I wasn't going to reply to this bc. LOL. Don't feed the troll.

But I'm currently hearing explosions in the background so I was like. Oh well.

Let's unpack it.

I just think it’s wack that you only care about Israeli civilians.

I mean. Y'know. אם אין אני לי מי לי? (Clearly not you).

Wow. I'm shocked. How dare I, an Israeli civilian with friends and family who happens to also be, by coincidence, Israeli civilians, dare care about such vile creatures? (Looking outside of the window) (Remember that I can't, bc it's blocked to prevent shattering by airwaves and sharpanels). Must be a day that ends with a y!

Yes their lives mattered.

I feel like there's a "but" coming.

But instead of focusing on the real reason why they died,

Are we still talking Israeli citisens? BC the current causes of death are missiles, gunshots and stabbing.

ie, the tremendously irresponsible government of Israel and their bloodthirsty colonialist mission,

Funny, you keep using that word. I don't think you know what that means.

Also, having strong opinion about a remote teritory which you aren't a citizen of? Tell me more about colonialism.

you focus on “”””antisemitism””””” where there really is none.

laughing out so hard I actually cry. Like, seriously?

Maybe you, personally, haven't met antisemism (or more likely, were unable to detact it). THAT WAS NOT THE CASE FOR THE VICE MAJORITY OF JEWS.

From vandalism and verbal harassment to physical harassment, beatdowns, and at least on one case - death.

[Funny enough, this article says "Alnaji’s and Kessler’s lives forever changed on Nov. 5 at a pro-Palestinian rally at Westlake and Thousand Oaks boulevards in Thousand Oaks." Well yes. Kessler's life ENDED. His poor killer may face prison. Poor man.

This is antisemic.]

I’m sure there’s like two (2) antisemitic pro Palestinians. The vast majority of us are normal people who want peace and freedom, and for Israel to stop killing people. And for Israeli innocents to stop dying too. Some of us are even Jews who finally woke up. Sincerely, a Jew who’s tired of colonisation being done in our name

Sorry, but if your "peace and freedom" refers to the myth of "The Happy Dhimi", you have a problem.

Some examples, though:

This is the official logo of the Houthis, the terror group pro-pals love so much. the "Curse upon the jews" REALLY gives some vibes of love and caring.

As someone who lived through the latest Intifada, this REALLY makes me feel safe out there:

So, the terror Organistion currently firing at me isn't a terrorist? do tell me more

And of course, the "resistence". Wow I wonder what happened on October 7th?

more (explained) #1, more #2, more #3, honestly just go to #antisemitism here.

And, last but not least:

INDIGENOUS PEOPLE CANNOT BE COLONIALS IN THEIR ANCESTORS' LAND.

WE HAVE 3,000 YEARS OF HISTORY HERE.

But, well, I guess you're from america. Strange how you don't care about colonialism when it's actually. Y'know. BY-THE-BOOK.

~

Another case of kidnaps by terror organisation (Boko Haram). And another (ISIS) (Hamas connection).

[jilyawards]

I think people have legitimate concerns about the awards since every year there seems to be some kind of drama that often results in people leaving the fandom.

The responses to these anons have been passive aggressive and defensive and have only fuelled the flames without taking into account the history of these awards and the ways people have been hurt by them before. You might be new to running the awards, but the awards have a long history that honestly hasn't always been good.

As mods you're hiding behind anonymity, which I understand considering the hate that the mods have received in the past, but it does add to the level of distrust around the awards and if you're so scared of getting hate about a project that you won't put your name to it, isn't that a sign that maybe it's time to let that project go?

It also means I don't feel like I can send you a message that's not anon because I don't know who I'm speaking with and there's no opportunity for open discourse.

We understand people have had issues with how the awards were run in the past - that is an unfortunate fact we inherited when we took ownership of the blog. We can not change the past. We can only operate in the present so we did all we could within our power to make it as fair and fun a process as we possibly could:

We turned the awards blog into a year round thing, we accepted any fic that came in so long as it was Jily. We posted those recs every single month without fail.

We offered the ability to opt out - something that has been used historically - so anyone who wanted to opt out for whatever reason could. We said we didn’t need a reason, we didn’t ask for one because we respect peoples opinions and want to opt out. We even extended the branch to those who opted out last year but hadn’t messaged in this year to say they wanted to opt out again just in case someone forgot.

We offered even more categories for the chance at more opportunities to be named - so that those who write long vs short fics weren’t overshadowed. I will stand and name myself as one of the people running this year if it puts and end to this unnecessary back and forth with an anonymous person or persons. You are welcome to come and DM me.

I Ray, @charmsandtealeaves have been doing my best for this fandom for the better part of the past two years.

I’m sorry if you read our response as passive aggressive. I’ve stated that we wanted to be firm on our stance so you can interpret that as defensive if you want - because of course as one of the people behind the scenes doing all the admin hours I obviously think this venture is worthwhile. I haven’t won an award but I did enjoy the experience of seeing nominations and hyping up my friends. Which is why I stepped up when Ava left. I haven’t been around long enough to know the years of fandom drama and history behind a silly little awards thing, or who has apparent beef with whom - and frankly I don’t care. I’m here to read, write and share Jily fic.

The anon expressed concerns about people’s mental health over not winning. Mental health is a genuine concern and I am a massive advocate for it. However, I still believe if you only exist to create to win one of these awards then you’re creating for the wrong reason. And if you are upset because you weren’t nominated for an award - there is the option to nominate yourself and always has been because nominations are anonymous we don’t release how many times someone was nominated because that doesn’t matter it only takes one - if not being nominated is enough to leave the fandom over it… then I’m sorry but that’s something you personally need to work on and maybe you should start seeing this (being writing fic) for what it is - a hobby done for free and for fun.

I continued the anonymity left by Ava for this exact reason. Because no matter if I say so publicly or not there are going to be people who have strong opinions against the awards and they are entitled to them, and they are entitled not to participate. They are not however, entitled to keep sending messages that we shouldn’t exist because of something that happened years ago and because some don’t think they should exist at all. And I didn’t want that in my personal inbox but also understood that anonymous asks let people ask questions they might be too shy to ask public facing so they stayed on over here.

I’ve been the public face behind a lot of events over the last two years and that hasn’t stopped me getting anonymous messages about how I’m doing it all wrong. Or quite frankly worse ones that were derogatory and personal.

I’ve done what was asked. I addressed the concerns that came in the form of an anonymous ask politely and respectfully given this year’s history. I offered a poll as requested. If you read that response as passive aggressive well… that’s down to your interpretation. I’ve had enough of drama. And from all I’ve seen the drama stems from something I wasn’t even around for and has nothing to do with me, or how the awards have run this year. It has nothing to do with our current existence and the effort I’ve put in this year - both to the Jily awards all year, the gift exchange, Jilytoberfest, every Jilychallenge, Mystery Microfic May, jilymicrofics and the discord.

At the end of the day I’m here writing because I love Jily and I love all the people who come to read and enjoy what I put out too. But I will admit I’m tried of whatever this is.

If you want to, as you say have open discorse, my inbox is there, but I’ve said my piece and I respect their are different opinions but that’s not gonna change the awards being held this year. All posts are tagged so you can block them or this blog if you like. ~ Ray