#do not ingest bees
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Some wonderful art by @cosmalumi of my little horse Clover Patch in the midst of... A clover patch! She was meant to look like her namesake, and this really illustrates it!
Thank you so much, my friend! ^^
#Is she that small or is the clover just that large?#the world may never know#AND THE BEES#THEY LOOK SO GOOD!#LIKE HOLY COW LUMI#How do you do it?#oc: clover patch#bees#strawberry clover#cosmalumi#shaleclaw#do not ingest bees#especially ones this large
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Until Death Claims Us
Pairing: vampire!Hongjoong x human!reader (+ a bit of boyfriend!Seonghwa x girlfriend!reader)
AU: vampire au
Word Count: 5.3k
Summary: You were a fool to believe you could save him. You should have heeded everyone's warnings to run, but now you found yourself in need of saving—from him, the very embodiment of the devil.
Genre: angst, horror
Rating: Mature (M)
Trigger Warnings: violence, implied sexual assault, emotional abuse, kidnapping, gore and blood, coercion, isolation (being trapped/cut off from loved ones), substance use, death, self-harm, suicidal thoughts
A/N: Happy Halloween, folks! This contains dark themes and is not my typical cutesy little romance fic (been feeling violent lately), you've been warned.
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"You're being such a good girl today," he taunted, pulling back slightly from your neck. The skin was bruised and ruptured from his relentless biting, a trail of blood staining the silk of your robes. "I wasn't expecting this—especially after the little show we put on for your poor loverboy yesterday. What was his name again? Park Seonghwa, wasn't it?"
You lay still beneath him, your gaze fixed on the familiar ceiling you'd come to know all too well during each struggle, each time he took you against your will.
"It's over, Hongjoong," you murmured, and his grin only widened as he licked his bloody fangs, mocking. "Over? For whom? You know you're mine, don't you? I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever, my pet."
A small smile crossed your lips. "Exactly. I'm counting on that. I don't plan on leaving without you either. I won't let you hurt or threaten the people I love again—my boyfriend, my brother, my best friend..."
His eyes narrowed at your words. "What are you—" But before he could finish, the poison you'd ingested began to take hold, creeping through him bit by bit. He gasped, his hand clutching his heart. "Wh-what have you done?"
You chuckled bitterly, a trickle of blood trailing from your nose. "Wolfsbane and monkshood, enough to kill us both within the hour."
He gasped at your words. Vampires were immune to many things, but the herbs you'd named were among the deadliest known to any living thing—even to his kind. His claws flew to your neck, tightening as he growled, "Are you out of your goddamned mind, woman?!"
You smirked humourlessly. "Go ahead. End me now. It'd be a mercy."
Realising the force of his grip on your throat, he released you quickly, a shaky hand brushing your face as he noticed the blood trickling from your nose. If the poison was already taking a toll on him, your mortal body must be suffering a thousand times worse. "Do you really hate me this much?"
You shook your head, pulling your face away from his touch, but he only grasped you again, forcing you to meet his gaze—just as forceful as ever. That was the Kim Hongjoong you knew. "You're joking, right? You took me from my family, my friends, my… my lover, and forced me to stay by your side, to be fed on and used as you pleased. What else could I feel for you?"
He furrowed his brows, the pain in his chest intensifying as he struggled to keep his focus. "But, darling, I did it because I love you. I've told you over and over. If you weren't so stubborn, you could've been my queen. I was going to turn you—"
Tears of disgust welled up in your eyes as memories of this endless nightmare resurfaced. Weeks, months… you'd lost track. Maybe your family would know how long you'd been gone. "Love? You call this love? You don't torture someone you claim to love. You don't even know what that word means, you monster!"
Regret.
Immense, suffocating regret was all you felt. It had consumed you from the moment you'd fallen into Hongjoong's trap, ensnared by his cunning words and dark allure.
It hadn't always been this way.
⸸
"Ow!" you yelped, clutching your scraped knee as you eased yourself into a sitting position, recovering from the clumsy fall. You should have watched where you were going, but your mind had been lost in thought, still sulking over your cancelled plans. Your boyfriend had last-minute work obligations, leaving you disappointed after you'd looked forward to your date all day. Worse still, both your brother and best friend had their own commitments, so you were left to walk home alone, wishing Seonghwa were there to pick you up.
"Hey there, you alright?" a warm voice interrupted, and you looked up to see a stranger standing beside you, his hand extended politely, yet without touching.
And that was how you met him, on a chilly autumn evening. Kim Hongjoong had been so kind, so gentle, as you spilt your frustrations to him. He listened with a soft smile, guiding you to a nearby bus stop, supporting you with a careful hold, and tending to your wound with a small bandage. Before leaving, he draped his coat around your shoulders, leaving you with a comforting warmth.
How sweet of him.
What you didn't know was that as he walked away from you that night, his soft smile faded, replaced by a dark scowl. His fists clenched at his sides, and he cursed himself under his breath. He had planned to drain you right there on that empty street; it was the sweet scent of your blood that had drawn him to you in the first place. But the moment he saw you—eyes wide, vulnerable, and tangled in frustration—something inside him shifted, and he had done something he'd never done before: he spared his prey.
Had it been any other woman, she would have lost her life in an instant. It went against his nature to let a meal walk away unharmed. But you had been different somehow, your innocence tugging at some long-buried part of him he'd rather keep forgotten. "Pathetic," he muttered, disgusted with himself, before casting a glance over his shoulder, watching you as you disappeared from sight, his coat still wrapped around you.
"Another time," he murmured to himself, eyes narrowing with resolve. If he saw you again, he wouldn't hesitate.
Another time, human.
"Babe? What's this?" your beloved's voice called out, and an instant smile lit up your face as you turned to greet him that evening. "Hwa, you're home!" But as you tried to rush to him, a sharp pang in your knee held you back, and his eyes quickly caught the slight wince. In an instant, he was at your side, Hongjoong's coat discarded on the chair beside you.
"What happened? Are you okay?" he asked, worry furrowing his brow as he knelt beside you, inspecting the bandage.
You laughed sheepishly. "I may or may not have tripped over my own foot. But a kind stranger helped me out—he's the one who gave me his coat." You nodded toward the garment that Seonghwa had been eyeing earlier. "He found me by the side of the road, got me to a bus stop, and made sure I was alright before he left."
Guilt flashed across your boyfriend's face as he cupped your cheek, his thumb gently stroking your skin. "I'm so sorry I had to cancel, baby. It's my fault you were out there alone. Does it still hurt?"
You shook your head, leaning into his touch. "Not anymore. You're here now, and that's all that matters."
His expression softened as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Well, I'm just relieved someone was there to help. Good thing that man found you."
At the time, you nodded in agreement, warmth spreading through you at the thought. But if you had known then what you knew now, you would have wept, realising that this was only the beginning of a nightmare you could never have anticipated.
⸸
Falling into his orbit had been so easy.
"It's you!" you beamed as you stepped out of your workplace, your face lighting up at the sight of the kind stranger who had offered his coat and helped you just days before. The man smiled, his expression warm and charming as he nodded.
"It is me. I was just passing by and noticed you finishing up your shift," he said. "Heading home now?"
You nodded, stepping closer. "I am! And I actually have your coat all cleaned and ready, but I didn't bring it with me today. I can return it to you next time you pass by."
He chuckled, his gaze unwavering. "Why wait? I'll walk you home now, and you can give it to me there."
Maybe you should have been more cautious about leading a stranger to your doorstep. But he was your saviour, after all—surely you could trust him… right? If only you had thought twice back then, if only.
"Would you like to come in for a bit? It's a little chilly outside; let me just grab your coat real quick," you said, hurrying inside, leaving the door open behind you as you went to find it. Unhurried, the vampire stepped in, his eyes alight with satisfaction. Your scent filled the space, sweet and intoxicating. He took a slow breath, biting back the urge to sink his teeth into you right then. How awfully trusting you were—it made him want to draw this out, savouring the game.
He wandered into your living room, pausing at the wall lined with photos. His gaze darkened slightly as he took in the images of you with another man, holding you close, kissing you in some. Ah, yes, the lover. His lips twisted in a faint sneer, though when you returned with his coat folded neatly in your arms, he met you with a polite smile.
"Let me guess," he said smoothly, pointing to a photo, "this must be the lucky guy who had to cancel on you that night?"
You glanced at the picture and nodded, smiling. "That's him—my boyfriend. He was really grateful you were there to help me out."
Hongjoong's grin widened ever so slightly, amusement flashing in his eyes. "Grateful, is he?" he murmured, his voice silky, almost too smooth.
But you missed the glint of slyness in his tone, sending him off with a wave and a warm smile. Later that night, the vampire clutched the coat to his face, breathing in your scent with a low growl, his grip tightening. He hadn't realised until now how intoxicating the pull was, but he knew one thing for sure: this coat would never leave his grasp again—not until he had you for himself.
Once again, he had spared you.
But this time, it wasn't mercy—it was control. He'd see just how long you would continue to trust him, let him in. And then, he thought with a twisted smirk, he would show you exactly who he was as he drained every drop from you.
If you thought that would be the last time you'd see him, you were sorely mistaken. Almost every evening after that, he would appear outside the cafe just as your shift ended, leaning against the lamppost as though he'd been waiting.
"Want some company on the way home?" he'd ask, his voice always gentle, words wrapped in warmth as he mentioned it was on his way anyway.
And so, you'd let him walk beside you, night after night. He always seemed to know just what to say, as though he could read your mind. Every word was perfectly timed, his soft laughter like music that drew you in before you even realised it. He began to open up about his life, weaving tales of heartbreak and loneliness that tugged at your heart, his voice so sincere that it was easy to believe him.
"They say life is easier with someone who truly understands you," he'd murmur, eyes dark and searching as he glanced your way. He'd mention how it felt to be isolated, misunderstood—and somehow, it felt like he was talking to you, like he was a lost soul just waiting for the right person to come along.
And he'd pause, his gaze softening. "It's rare to find someone who… just gets it, you know?"
You'd nod, heart aching, wanting so badly to be that someone, to fill that void you thought you saw in him.
You had no idea then that he was slowly slipping under your skin, blurring the lines of trust and intuition until you found yourself more invested in him than you ever thought possible. That he wasn't seeking connection or friendship—he was weaving a web, each thread perfectly placed. And all along, his hunger lay just beneath the surface, patiently waiting for the right moment to reveal itself.
If only you had known what it meant to be the "friend" of a vampire.
⸸
Then there was that night in the park.
You'd found him sitting alone on a bench, his figure slouched, his head bowed as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. His expression was distant, empty, as he stared down at his hands—hands that seemed unblemished but, if only you'd known, had just left a trail of lives snuffed out too soon. No human could have sensed it, but his hunger for you was unmatched, something primal that no other blood could satisfy, not even the hapless souls he'd claimed just hours before.
But you, blissfully unaware of the darkness around him, only saw someone you thought of as a friend. Someone you might save, if you showed him kindness. Your heart ached at the sight, and you quietly sat beside him, reaching out to take his hand. His fingers were cool against yours, a chill that settled into your skin, but you brushed it off as a sign of the evening's autumn air.
"Everything alright, my friend?" you asked, your voice soft, filled with worry you didn't understand.
He didn't even glance up, yet he squeezed your hand lightly, as though your presence had grounded him. "I… I think I might've done something I'm not exactly proud of," he murmured, his voice trembling just enough to pull at your heart.
You sighed, your thumb tracing small circles on his hand, offering him a gentle squeeze without pressing him to share. "It's okay, Joong. I… I know your life hasn't been easy. Whatever it was, you probably had no choice." You gave him a small, reassuring smile. "Nobody's perfect. I just want you to know you'll always have a friend in me."
As you spoke, he finally looked at you, but there was a sharp glint in his eye, a brief, almost predatory gleam that flickered just for a moment. And though you noticed the faint trace of crimson near his collar, you dismissed it as a trick of the streetlight or perhaps a stain from a spill. Why would you have thought any differently?
What you didn't know was that every word, every gesture, was like fuel to his fire. He'd lured you in, time and again, feeding off your kindness, growing closer with each moment, all the while concealing what lay beneath that soft, gentle exterior. And you, too blinded by trust, saw only the broken soul he wanted you to see, never realising just how deeply you'd fallen into his hands.
If you'd known what he was hiding, you'd have run. But then, if he had his way, running wouldn't have saved you.
⸸
Regret. Deep, suffocating regret washed over you as you recalled how blindly you'd trusted a stranger you barely knew, dismissing every warning from those who loved you.
"Babe, I really don't have a good feeling about this guy you've been talking to," Seonghwa murmured one evening, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you washed the dishes. "I know he helped you that night, but his actions lately…"
You'd bitten your lip, drying your hands before turning to embrace him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I know it seems strange, Hwa, but he honestly just feels like someone who needs a friend. Maybe I'll introduce you two someday."
You had brushed off his concerns, convincing yourself you were just being overly cautious. How could you have known then what lurked beneath Hongjoong's warm smile and attentive gaze? The way he listened, the kindness in his eyes—it all felt genuine. But now, those memories were shadowed by the haze of your own naivety.
Thinking back to Seonghwa's concerned eyes and protective arms, the ache in your chest deepened. He had only wanted to shield you, to keep you safe, but you'd shrugged off his worries like scattered autumn leaves that night in the park. How could you have ignored the instincts of those who loved you?
You remembered your brother's warning too. "He knows you have a boyfriend, right? Then why is he still so…" he sighed, catching the frown on your face. "Just be careful around him, noona." His brow had been furrowed, his voice tinged with the protectiveness you’d come to expect from him.
Even your best friend had weighed in. "Gurl, he's hot, single, and lonely? Maybe he could use someone like me as a distraction!" she teased, laughing before her face turned serious. "But honestly, your brother and Hwa are right. You don't know him that well. Stranger danger, babe. You shouldn't be so trusting."
At the time, you'd laughed it all off, buoyed by a sense of invincibility in your own trust and optimism. But now, standing face-to-face with the darkness beneath Hongjoong's charm, the weight of every ignored warning settled heavily on your conscience. He'd played you, twisted your kindness into his own weapon, feeding on your good intentions to serve his own dark needs. If only you had listened.
⸸
"I find myself in a dire situation and in need of your help. If your words are sincere and your care for me as genuine as you've claimed, then please, come to me at once."
You should have heeded their warnings on that fateful day. As you picked up the note outside the cafe, your name scrawled across it, you noticed the handwriting—almost ancient, as if penned with a quill. It was signed by Hongjoong and carried an urgent request for you to come to his residence immediately.
As you read, questions flooded your mind.
First, why had he never exchanged numbers with you? Did he even own a phone? You realise now you've never seen him with one. His communication felt so… archaic. Perhaps he was simply a fan of old-fashioned ways, though the thought brought little comfort.
Then there was the urgency—what could he need you for so desperately? If he'd come all the way to leave the note, why not just speak to you? It struck you then that he'd never entered the cafe, never bought a drink, or even lingered to chat.
And the address… secluded in the middle of nowhere. Why would he live so far from everyone? A shadow of doubt tugged at you, urging you to reach out for advice from those who cared about you. But against your better judgement, you let the image of his pleading, dark eyes linger in your mind. Before you knew it, you were on your way, heart racing with anticipation and dread.
Each step felt heavier than the last, the echoes of your loved ones' warnings circling through your mind. Yet you pushed them aside, drawn by an inexplicable pull to see him again. It was as if you were stepping toward a dark abyss, its presence invisible yet pressing close. The setting sun cast long shadows, stretching as if to hold you back. But the illusion of connection, once so warm and real, propelled you forward.
As you reached his residence—a grand, ancient mansion, the air turned colder, a chill that crept down your spine. You paused at the door, dread settling in your stomach as if the very walls whispered the warnings you'd ignored. Was this a terrible mistake? You took a deep breath, pushed aside your hesitation, and knocked, the sound seeming to dissolve into the gathering twilight.
"You're here, at last, my dear," he murmured, voice dripping with sarcastic satisfaction. He turned, and in an instant, the false warmth vanished, twisting into a grin that revealed razor-sharp fangs.
"I've been waiting. And I'm starving."
⸸
Has it been days... or weeks?
"Wh-what the hell are you doing...?" you choked out, pressing a trembling hand to your neck to staunch the blood trickling from the bite he'd left. You were sprawled across his bed, barely able to move, every ounce of strength drained from you. Above, he stood with your phone in hand, snapping photos of you with a twisted, relished focus—capturing every vulnerable angle as if he were savouring an art piece on display.
"Making a collection to send to your little boyfriend, of course," he said, tone laced with mockery.
Your heart plummeted at the mention of Seonghwa. "N-no..."
Hongjoong smirked, his eyes dark and cold. "Oh, don't worry, darling. He wouldn't dare interfere if he knew what was good for you. And you'll behave yourself too, won't you? Wouldn't want anything happening to your precious family and friends, after all."
It hit you then—the grim reality. Your life as you knew it was over. He was a centuries-old monster, a bloodthirsty fiend who had you completely at his mercy. You were a mortal trapped in his web, no longer a person but a mere vessel to sate his hunger and whims.
Escape was a fleeting dream; you were too weak, too vulnerable. But in the dark corners of your mind, one thought persisted—an escape of a different kind. If you could somehow slip from this existence, you might at least put an end to this misery. Yet a lingering fear held you back: Seonghwa, your family, your friends. Were they still out there, searching for you, hearts heavy with worry? The thought of them stepping into this nightmare in a desperate attempt to find you gnawed at your soul.
You could take any fate for yourself, but the idea of your loved ones in harm's way was a weight you couldn't bear. So you swallowed back the dread, praying that they would find peace, that they would move on, even if you couldn't.
⸸
"Smile, darling. Loverboy has come to see you."
You gasped, a weak cry escaping your lips as his weight pressed you deeper into the mattress. You could barely push back against him, every ounce of strength drained, yet you clung to the disbelief—he couldn't have brought Seonghwa here. Not to witness this, not to see you in this state, drugged and used as Hongjoong's plaything. It had to be another one of his twisted games.
But as you turned your head to the window, horror struck you. There, just outside, stood your boyfriend. His eyes were wide, a mix of shock and agony contorting his face as he registered the scene before him: his first love, his entire world, bare and broken beneath another's hands.
A strangled sob left you as you watched him stumble back, his gaze a shattered mess of disbelief and betrayal. And then, without another glance, he turned and fled. The monster above you let out a dark chuckle, pressing a bruising kiss to your lips before pulling back with a smug, twisted satisfaction.
"And there he goes," he murmured, the words dripping with poison. "That should do it—no more foolish rescue attempts, no more endless searching. Just you and me, my dear. Don't worry; I'll take care of you from now on."
You lay there, his words echoing in your mind, the last remnants of your heart breaking into pieces. Your tears spilt freely, soaking the pillow beneath you as the reality sank in. With your boyfriend now gone, the final shred of hope and sanity within you slipped away. Yet, beneath the ache, something sharper flickered to life—a resolve you hadn't known you could possess.
The emptiness left you with nothing to lose. Hongjoong thought he'd finally won, thought he had you in his grasp forever. But he didn't know the lengths you'd go to escape him, the price you were willing to pay.
As your tears dried, you knew—if this was to be your end, he was going down with you.
⸸
Staring down at the wolfsbane and monkshood you'd collected, carefully wrapped in a small piece of parchment, your hands trembled. This was it. Once you took them, there would be no going back—the amount you'd prepared was enough to kill a bloodsucker within an hour, let alone you, a mere mortal. You took a shaky breath, steeling yourself to swallow the bitter herbs.
But just as you brought the packet closer, footsteps echoed down the hall, deliberate and unhurried. Heart racing, you hurriedly tucked the packet beneath the bed, barely managing to slide it out of sight as Hongjoong sauntered into the room, his gaze settling on you with that ever-present glint of sadistic amusement.
"Aww, look at you," he purred, eyes narrowing with mock sympathy. "Missing loverboy already, hm?" He let the words linger, watching the tension twist in your expression. "I am sorry he might not return the sentiment. Not anymore. Maybe you should just focus on me, darling." He crawled onto the bed, his movements slow and taunting, each slithering inch bringing him closer until his familiar, bone-chilling embrace enveloped you once more. The kind of hold that wrapped around your very spirit, pulling you down like an anchor.
The image of Seonghwa's face, etched with horror, surfaced in your mind, and you bit your lip to keep from crying out. How could he have been forced to see you like this? Swallowing hard, you clenched your fists, determined not to give this monster the satisfaction of seeing your tears.
But his lips grazed your neck, chilling as they pressed over the bruised, unhealed bite marks that would likely never get the chance to heal. A shiver raced down your spine. The coldness of him… It was like every hope of escape was slipping further away.
"Joong…" you whispered, voice barely audible. You felt him freeze for a moment at the sound of his name, the way you'd once used it back when you'd believed his act. Back when you'd truly cared for him. The silence stretched, the flicker of tension you'd caught in him melting back into amusement.
"Before I came here... before all of this…" your voice cracked, but you forced yourself to continue, needing to see if there was even a fraction of humanity left in him. "Was there ever one moment where the side you showed me was sincere?"
His eyes darkened, amusement shifting into something almost unreadable. His expression stayed carefully composed, but his grip tightened, as though he sensed the question held more weight than he was prepared to deal with. For a moment, you thought you saw something there—guilt, maybe, or regret? But it was gone in an instant, replaced by that cold, detached gaze.
"Oh, my poor, naive love," he murmured, voice soft but devoid of empathy. "Sincere? That side of me was whatever you wanted it to be. And it did its job beautifully, wouldn't you agree?" His lips curled into a smirk, as though he savoured the pain reflected in your eyes.
With that answer, a profound calm settled over you, solidifying the choice you'd been struggling with. He had no redemption. No humanity. And soon enough, he'd feel what it was like to be powerless, too. The herbs were just beneath the bed, waiting to release you both from this wretched game.
And it would be soon.
⸸
Your own recklessness had led you here; there was no one else to blame. And yet, the thought of Seonghwa tightened painfully around your heart. He had been everything—the one you imagined beside you in every future, the light in all your darkest moments. Now, he was left only with the haunting image of you powerless, taken by the monster who loomed over you.
The vampire had turned your suffering into a twisted show, a grotesque performance designed to break every last bit of faith Seonghwa held for you. How could he possibly still love you after witnessing this? How could anyone?
But perhaps that was for the best. If it meant he'd let go of the desperate need to search for you, you could leave this world knowing no one would mourn your tainted existence. And with that bleak acceptance, your resolve crystallised. Hongjoong had unknowingly given you all the tools you needed, and you were finally ready to use them. The knowledge from his library, the herbs in his greenhouse—all his arrogance had left him exposed.
You'd consumed more than enough of the poison just before his feeding time, driven by a singular determination to end this—no more hesitation.
The venom surged through your veins, dizzying yet invigorating, each heartbeat counting down to your final moments—and his. You focused on that thought as his grip on you began to waver, his dominant presence starting to crumble as the poison took effect.
As your vision began to blur, clarity sharpened in your mind. This wasn't just an escape; it was vengeance. The thought fueled the last remnants of strength in your body.
"Do you feel that, Kim Hongjoong?" you whispered, forcing your voice to hold steady despite nausea clawing at you. "This is the end for you, and I'll die knowing you'll never hurt anyone else again."
He looked down at you, disbelief flickering into grim acceptance, and then, to your surprise, a small grin crept across his lips. He lay down beside you, fingers reaching out to entwine with yours. "You sly little fox… this is why I love you so much. No one else could have done this to me, no matter how they tried. At least we'll be together in the afterlife. I may be dying, but I'll die happy knowing I've won over Park Seonghwa."
The poison surged stronger with every heartbeat, each pulse dragging you deeper into the icy grip of darkness as the final remnants of your strength began to fade. "You're delusional, Kim. You'll have me... only until death claims us."
⸸
"No! No, it can't be!" Seonghwa's voice tore through the night, raw and desperate as he tried to break free from the arms restraining him. His screams cut the air, his cries echoing in the vast, empty silence that had settled around the mansion. But the police officers, your brother, your best friend—everyone held him back from reaching you… or what was left of you.
If only you could have held on just a moment longer. The sirens had drawn near, filling the air with the promise of help, of escape, but they'd come too late. Your boyfriend had done the only thing he could, knowing that a rash attempt to rescue you would have meant his death too. He'd left after seeing you one last time, shattering as he took in the horror of your suffering, knowing you'd endured all this while he searched tirelessly for you.
Now, at last, he was here, hands still reaching out for you, ready to bring you back into his arms—but all that was left was an empty, still form entwined in the lifeless arms of the very monster who'd stolen you from him. His sobs were relentless, tearing from his chest as he stumbled forward, pleading, his body wracked with the pain of a thousand what-ifs.
If only he had fought harder to keep you by his side. If only he hadn't cancelled that night. If only he'd never let you cross paths with Hongjoong. The blame—merciless, relentless—wrapped around him like a noose, each regret tightening its hold.
This ache would follow him, a cycle of blame and guilt that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He would never be the same.
I'll join you soon, my love.
This has got to be one of my personal favourites, I do love me some sadistic shit from time to time. Hope y'all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!
As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3
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Visual aid for mouthparts of Hymenoptera (part 2)
Doing Ants yay! I'll keep this one shorter and less technical, just some cool picks and a bit of trivia Part 1 on Wasps Ant mouthparts are quite similar to Wasps, with notable exception being their Glossae being much shorter, but they still act a lot like a tongue! Ants can ingest moth liquid and solid food (not always the case for adult wasps and bees) Some very detailed model Showcasing the most likely path of the food:
Solids are first gripped and processed by the mandibles before transport into the oral cavity by labium and maxillae. Larger particles are filtered out by specialized hair lining the moth cavity, they collect in a special pouch for pre-digestion. Here're some more stylized schemas of extended maxilo-labial complex (1) and it's vie from above (2)
Very cool photos of the underside of the mouth, in the process of being extended! (Didn't mark the mandibles since I think they're are relatively obvious):
Side view!
Front:
Also just a cool trivia: some ants have long hairs on their mandables and the sides of the head to carry small particulates like send or crumbly foods
Sources imbedded in images, unfortunately second study with the BW illustrations "Comparative morphological study of ants, with particular reference to mouthparts (Hymenoptera: Formicidae)" got nuked from the face of the internet since I read it 👀 ----------------------------- 💜BuyMeaCoffee💜Patreon💜
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Rosemary
Rosmarinus officinalis
Known as: compass weed, dew of the sea, elf leaf, guardrobe, incsensier, labonotis, Mary's cloak, polar plant, sea dew, stella maria & star of the sea.
Related plants: A member of the mint family Lamiaceae that includea basil, mint, sage, savory, marjoram, oregano, hyssop, thyme, lavender & perilla. As well as other herbs such as catnip, salvia, bee balm, wild dagga, and oriental motherwort.
Parts used: Leaves, roots, sprigs & essential oils from the flowers.
Habitat and cultivation: This evergreen shrub is native to the Mediterranean Portugal, and northwestern Spain.
Plant type: Perennial
Region: Zone 6 with occasional winter protection & zones 7-10
Harvest: Anytime but avoid taking more than 1/3 of the plant when you do.
Planting tips: Rosemary has a low germination rate and slow to sprout, try using cuttings or buy from a nursery if you have problems. Keep in full sun with a well drainer container & let the soil dry out completely before watering again.
Medicinal information: Over the years rosemary was used to relieve muscle pain, repelling insects, improve memory, boost the immune system & promote hair growth.
Cautions: While safe, ingesting excessive amounts of rosemary can be dangerous and lead to vomiting, coma & pulmonary edema.
ROSEMARY IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR EVERY HERB
Magickal properties
Gender: Masculine
Planet: Sun
Element: Fire
Deities: Faeries, Elves, sea spirits & Virgin Mary
Magickal uses:
•Place in dream pillows to prevent nightmares
• Burn as an incense to purify & remove negativity
• Hang above your doorways to drive away unwanted visitors
• Add to a ritual bath for cleansing & removing hexes
• Use as a substitute for frankincense
• Plant in your garden to attract fae
• Carry a sprig to protect against the evil eye
• Keep under your bed to ensure fidelity & a happy relationship
• Wash your hands with a rosmary infusion before healing magick to increase potency
• Wear in a satchet or amulet to improve memory recall & improved health
• In Italian folk magic, it is cooked with to alleviate sadness grief
• Rosemary may be used as incense at rituals of death and dying. It may be cast upon the coffin when it is slowly lowered into the burial place. With this we will all remember with love and fondness the one who is passing into another life, and thus we will also remember that we inhabit mortal bodies as we walk through the earth
#herb of the week#herbalism#rosemary#magical herbs#witchblr#wiccablr#paganblr#witch community#witchcraft#witchcore#witch tumblr#spells#grimoire#book of shadows#spellbook#baby witch#beginner witch#witch tips#correspondence#green witchery#GreenWitchcrafts#spellwork#beginner witch tips#baby witch tips#green witch#witches of tumblr#witch#witchyvibes#witchy things#herbs
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don't know how to be something you miss
Wednesday Addams x Reader
Summary: On a rainy day, Wednesday recalls pieces of your story together through memories, and wonders if you miss her too.
Requested by anon
A/N: Soft!Wednesday because that's my thing now. This request was really fun to make, hope you like it, let me know. All flashbacks are in italics.
Masterlist
There's something unusual on Wednesday's side of the dorm.
It's small, insignificant, private because there's no one else here to witness it.
Her typewriter still sits by the end of her dark-colored bed, her cello is still stashed beside her wardrobe and her window is still the opposite of Enid's; devoid of color, creating soft shadows on the wooden floor as the rain falling outside collides with it.
But there's an anomaly on the black-and-white hues of Wednesday's side.
The Addams girl sits on the floor beside her bed, her back resting against the cold wall. She hugs her knees close to her chest, making herself smaller; she's wearing a lilac hoodie, one hand gripping its fabric as she holds herself together and the other clutching a polaroid picture, the hood is over her head and she can smell a familiar perfume.
The color is strange on her pale skin, on the black of her hair. Yet she buries herself in it.
It's pathetic. She's broken all her rules and promises.
Wednesday remembers the first time she saw the hoodie she wears;
—
It was potions and elixirs class, one that Wednesday enjoys most of the time; handling deadly substances was always amusing — the classroom didn't lack glass vials that were labeled 'toxic, do not ingest' and she was dying to try them out in her mixing table.
The teacher was about to start talking when a knock sounded on the door. Wednesday glared at it with disdain.
It opened to reveal you standing on the other side, a lilac hoodie draped over your uniform, a lollipop hanging from your lips, and a smile on your face that looked more like a grimace as you apologized for getting lost and arriving late. It was dismissed since it was your first day, and you were left to pick a seat.
Wednesday put on her best stern look so you wouldn't choose the empty chair beside her.
But you did anyway.
She rolled her eyes with a sigh when you sat down, instantly turning to her with a hopeful grin.
"Hi," your voice was timid and sweet.
Wednesday chanced a glance at you and your smile instantly brightened at the attention. She noticed you had captivating eyes, the strawberry confection you had on your lips was now being twirled between your fingers.
"You better be good with potions," was Wednesday's greeting.
And the mixture you made ended up creating something acidic. It melted through the table and created a dent in the floor.
—
Wednesday scoffs at the memory, you were always a bit reckless, following your gut even if the odds were against you. She liked that about you.
There were several things she secretly liked about you.
Sometimes she believes you have the power to read between the lines, uncover things people themselves don't realize yet.
If it wasn't for that, and your incredibly annoying persistence, maybe Wednesday would never have had a story with you at all.
Her bedroom feels bigger, lonelier; the rain doesn't help, the sound of it hitting the stone walls outside gets her mind drifting.
—
You jumped on the puddles, splashing water all around you and most likely inside your shoes as well.
Wednesday was staring at you with a soft scrunch on her eyebrows, wondering what was the purpose of your actions other than inconveniently soaking the floorboards later.
She was leaning back on the wall of the bee shed, under the roof, waiting out the rain. You were doing your chores as if the sun was shining in the sky. Peculiar.
"Why won't you join me, Wednesday?" You asked as if the answer wasn't obvious, as if raindrops weren't rapidly rolling down your forehead all the way to your chin.
"Because I'm sensible," Wednesday stated, her gaze following the path of a droplet that stopped by your lips. She crossed her arms over her chest, clearing her throat.
"Where's the fun in that?" You raised a brow, "the rain washes your soul, you know."
"I like my soul dark, stained, and dry."
You clicked your tongue at her answer, stalking closer with a mischievous glint in your eyes. "I think that's just an excuse," you took hold of one of Wednesday's braids, twirling the end of it on your fingers.
Wednesday's lips hovered open at your audacity, her heart pushing against her ribs.
"Because we both know I'm much better at harvesting these hives."
That shook Wednesday out of her trance. She scoffed, "I can do it twice as faster with my eyes closed."
You shrugged, "I'll believe it when I see it."
"You have. And I've been here longer than you."
"Hm, these three jars of honey here say otherwise."
Wednesday clenched her jaw, it was a cheap attempt at getting her to indulge you, and she hated that it was working. She hated that the prospect of competing with you brought a thrill of excitement to her stomach.
When you stepped away, she followed, allowing the rain to pour down on her and soak her clothes and hair.
She did win in the end, and even if you lost you were still smiling widely as you two walked back to the school, feeling the smell of fresh rain hitting the tree leaves.
Mud was dragged on the floorboards of Nevermore when you got back inside and the water dripping from your clothes stained the rugs. Weems got red with anger and went on a tangent about manners.
Wednesday had to agree with you in the end. It was fun.
—
The rain picks up outside, the drops that hit her window are loud and the air is frigid — the wooden floor not doing much to chase it away.
If you were here you'd be scolding her, telling her to get on the warm, comfy bed. You'd take her hands on yours and complain about the coldness of them.
You'd place a kiss on each of Wednesday's knuckles if she let you. And she would; in the end, she knew she would.
But you're not here to do any of that.
A trembling breath passes through Wednesday's lips, creating a small puff of white air.
She thinks she deserves to feel the cold seeping onto her skin.
—
Night had long since settled in, Enid was having a sleepover at Yoko's dorm and Wednesday had the room to herself. The sounds of her typewriter were the only thing filling the air. Peaceful.
Another page was filled, she took it out with care before placing a new one in its place.
"When will you let me read it?"
Oh yeah. You're here too. Being alone feels nicer when Wednesday can feel your presence nearby.
"I doubt you'd be able to stomach it," she responded, curiosity hinting at her tone wondering if you really would read her novel or if you were just making conversation.
You're sprawled out on Wednesday's bed, laying on your stomach as you picked on a few loose strands of her dark blanket. "You underestimate me, Wednesday. The macabre has always fascinated me."
It's strange how comfortable you were in her presence, how you never once hesitated to see her darker side. Wednesday sometimes doesn't know what to make of it. There are no conditions to your apparent affection, you seemed happy to just exist beside her.
Wednesday looked at you, at the way you were swinging your feet in the air, laying your head on your forearm as you raised a brow at her; daringly.
Maybe there was a reason why she started calling upon you every time Enid left. She liked to exist in your presence too.
It was another hour before Wednesday finally stopped writing, and when she did — getting up from her chair and stretching her muscles — she noticed that you had fallen asleep. You lay in an awkward position that would surely give you neck pain later, your hand falling off the edge of the bed as you snored softly.
Wednesday didn't know what to do about you. She had a foreign feeling in her stomach upon seeing you so comfortable on her bed, her space.
The thought of waking you up didn't even cross her mind.
But you had been stupid enough to sleep on top of the covers. And it was winter.
On the guise of not wanting to hear you whinnying about being sick later, Wednesday rummaged through her wardrobe and picked up one of her oversized hoodies. She awkwardly placed it over your still body… and waited.
Eventually making herself comfortable sitting on the floor, she waited for you to wake up, intently observing your sleeping figure. Wednesday memorized your breathing pattern, eventually matching her own with yours, and when it halted for a second, she wondered what nightmares you must be having. She noticed each involuntary muscle twitch on your face, finding herself mesmerized by the way your eyebrows would furrow the slightest bit sometimes.
Was it creepy that she enjoyed watching you? Was it bad that she didn't want to look away?
Wednesday reached out with her heart in her mouth, clogging up her breathing. Her fingertips touched yours, her skin brushing against yours until she was somewhat holding your hand.
Why? She didn't know. But there was no one here for her to have the need to explain herself.
Until you returned her grip, and Wednesday's heartbeat stilled.
"Get your ass off the floor Wednesday, you'll freeze."
—
You had a warmth to you that was captivating. And Wednesday fell right into your trap.
She pays the price now. She never knew what it was like to miss someone until she wanted to rip her heart out. But it doesn't feel good.
Wednesday bites into her lip until she tastes blood. She wonders if you think about it too, about her.
A sharp breath enters her lungs and stays there. She wonders if she is someone worth missing.
You left, so, probably not.
Wednesday stretches her legs, leaning her head back on the wall. She could kill you for cursing her with this. But to what avail? The last living part of her would die with you anyway.
Her thumb brushes over the image of you and her on her hands, the polaroid picture is a little worn out from being kept under her pillow. It's her most valued secret.
You're smiling in the image, beside you, Wednesday has no expression as she looks at the camera; you're illuminated by countless fireworks exploding in the sky; far down, the town fair can be seen; both your hands are out of the picture but anyone could tell they were tangled together.
Wednesday Addams succumbing to something as frivolous as love?
You made it seem as simple as the raindrops that hit her window.
—
You were bouncing on your feet, hair up in a ponytail and lilac hoodie wrapped around your waist. Your eyes couldn't find a place to focus before your attention was already being grabbed by a new attraction at the town fair.
Wednesday followed a step behind you, colorful lights coming from the many amusement rides illuminated her skin.
"Come on, Wednesday," you fell back into step beside her, linking your arm around hers and pulling her along, "you can win me a teddy bear, it gives you an excuse to shoot something."
And she did, she won you the biggest teddy bear on the balloon shooting stand. And if she had a tiny smile on her lips as she proudly handed it to you, no one needed to know.
In exchange, you went into the haunted house with Wednesday.
"Stop squirming, this is hardly scary for a child, let alone for you," Wednesday grumbled as you walked the dark hallways of the old haunted manor, your hand clutching at her arm for dear life.
"We're walking through poorly lit hallways that are designed to scare us. I know something will happen yet I don't know when," you pointed out in a hush, your hand sneaking lower on Wednesday's arm, "of course I'm gonna be at least a little creeped out."
Not even a second later, a man poorly dressed as a zombie jumped from behind a wall. You squealed and Wednesday felt a sudden rush of protectiveness coming over her. She finally took your hand in hers.
Your fingers were snuggly intertwined with each other by the time you went into the Ferris Wheel to watch the firework show.
With little room in the cabin for you to sit, Wednesday's shoulder was flush with yours. Her hand still held onto yours. The warmth of your skin became addicting.
Way down, the town fair looked like a distant reality — for a fleeting moment it was just you, her, and the stars until fireworks started painting the sky a million colors.
And you were probably thinking the same, because you opened your purse and pulled out your instant camera, not giving Wednesday much of a warning before you snapped the picture.
"I always want to remember this day," you told her, your cheeks molding around your smile and your eyes crinkling because of it. There was a soft drizzle in the air, landing on your hair and clothes and making them shine.
Wednesday watched the firework show through your eyes, through the way it reflected on your pupils and made you glow. It was magical. You were magical in a way she's never seen before.
It was only natural for her to lean in, one hand coming up to hold your jaw so she could capture your lips with hers.
—
A drop of water lands on the edge of the polaroid picture, and then another, and one more on the sleeve of your hoodie, turning it a darker shade of lilac.
Wednesday frowns, until she realizes that she can't breathe, and that the droplets are coming from her eyes. She wipes her cheeks harshly, unkindly, almost bruising herself.
But she's careful with the way she dries them off the picture, gently brushing away the tears that almost landed on top of your smiling figure.
She wonders if you still want to remember that day the same way she does.
You are her best memory. And she wonders if you still want to remember her at all.
—
It was raining, had been for a week straight already, but today there was thunder roaring in the sky and lightning illuminating the night.
Wednesday hadn't seen you the entire day. No one had.
You were gone.
And she was losing her mind.
"What do you mean she's not in the school?" She snapped at Thing. The disembodied hand cowered at her tone. "Look again," she commanded, yet the way her words cracked at the end let the facade slip.
She was pacing back and forth on the entry hall of Nevermore, the tall wooden doors were pushed open so she had a clear view of the gates. Waiting — wishing — to see you walk through. All she saw was the rain hitting the ground and making the horizon hazy and white.
Damn you for making her care. Damn you for taking her heart. Damn you for making her realize how dreadful life is without you.
Weems walked back into the room, her heels clicking against the wooden floor.
Wednesday hastily walked up to the principal, "so?"
"No teachers know of her whereabouts either." Weems sighed.
Wednesday clenched her jaw, feeling her stomach drop, "I'm going out."
Weems' features softened, yet she shook her head, "I cannot allow you to leave in these weather conditions, Miss Addams."
"Me?" Wednesday scoffed indignantly, "what about her?"
"We don't know-"
"Exactly, we don't," she interrupted Weems, urgency filling her words because the reality that you could be taken from her just like that, was too palpable, and Wednesday doesn't like to feel a pain she can't control; "for all we know we could find her dead body in the woods and-"
"What happened?"
Both Weems and Wednesday snapped their heads towards your voice, relief evident on both their faces when they saw you unharmed.
You were soaked to the bone from walking in the pouring rain, drenching the rug beneath your feet as your hair and clothes clung to your body.
Weems gave you a glare that let you know you had to explain yourself later, but she left the room right after, knowing you and Wednesday deserved some privacy.
Wednesday's hands were closed into fists beside her, nails almost digging on skin as she watched you walk up to her with a soft frown on your eyebrows; as if you were unaware of the mess your absence had caused on her, as if you didn't know her vision was blurring over because for a second she thought all she'd have of you were memories.
Wednesday was enraged, her lungs being unable to hold air properly and turning her breathing erratic, "are you stupid?" She threw at you, making you flinch.
"What the hell were you thinking?" She continued, taking a step closer to grasp at that damn hoodie you insisted on wearing all the time, "don't dare do it again you hear me? I forbid you." She emphasized each word with a shake to your body.
Your answer was to wrap your arms around her, and she fought you, tried to push you away, but your hold was stronger. You held Wednesday's body to you until she collapsed, her weight mostly supported by you as her tears mingled with the raindrops still on your skin and the wetness of your clothes seeped into hers too.
Her nails dug into the fabric of your hoodie and she buried her head in your neck; breathing you in, feeling your heartbeat against her own.
"I'm sorry. I'm okay," you mumbled countless times like a mantra, your lips brushing the shell of Wednesday's ear.
It felt like a promise that you later sealed with a soft kiss on her lips. It was a little cold and wet, but you were there.
—
If Wednesday knew that would be your last kiss, she'd have held on to you a little longer.
Maybe that's why she feels so miserable today, because of the rain.
It's easier to put the blame on something she can't control, something she can't regret.
Part of Wednesday wants to be selfish and only keep the good memories, not the bad ones, but sometimes your words still echo in her mind;
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I just went into town to pick something up, for you, actually. The rain picked back up on my way back… I didn't mean to make you so worried."
And her own words still plague her too;
"It was reckless, it's like you enjoy being an inconvenience sometimes, I was perfectly fine not needing anyone in my life until you showed up."
That conversation ended with you storming out of Wednesday's room, your hoodie staying behind on top of her bed. It was two weeks ago, and she never got to know what it was you wanted to give her.
You haven't exchanged a word with each other since.
Begrudgingly, Wednesday gets up from her spot on the floor. The sleeves of your hoodie pool on her wrists. Your perfume is weaker, fading with each passing day.
What happens when she can't remember what you smell like anymore? When she can't fool herself that your arms are the ones around her and not the lilac fabric?
Wednesday lifts her pillow, placing your picture under it before putting it down again.
Maybe the time to let go is nearing. But it's a hard task when she has glimpses of you every day, in every class, in every corner of the school.
She takes off your hoodie and puts it back in her wardrobe, there's a place reserved for it there. Sometimes she wonders if you'll ever come back to get it.
Wednesday goes to her bathroom and throws water on her face, she doesn't need people looking at her funny because of her red-rimmed eyes.
There's a bit of hesitance on her steps down the stairs. Dinner will be served soon and Wednesday knows what awaits her at the cafeteria, or better, who.
The sound of rain is all she can hear, it's dreadful, you've ruined it for her. You've ruined so many things for her.
Wednesday walks into the cafeteria and finds you almost immediately, in the sea of outcasts, you stand out. You always have, as much as she doesn't want to admit it. You're sitting by the window, lollipop on your lips as you talk with your friends.
Whatever it is that keeps you tied to her — magnetism, gravity, electricity; it must be a little bit of each — it's still there. Because you look her way, it's like you can feel her presence too, your lips halting in their movement when your eyes find hers. But you're shaking your head and averting your gaze from the doors she stands in front of the second after.
Sometimes Wednesday thinks you look at her with the same feelings you forced on her when you left; with longing, with sadness, with something bittersweet.
Wednesday wonders if you'd be willing to give her a second chance. She wonders if you think about her at night too.
She wonders, but she never asks. She doesn't know that all she had to do was ask.
⋆* ☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
Read ch 2 here
Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3
Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @heelaechan @imagine-reblog @simp4wanda26 @sakurarukas @bluetreecloud20 @the-night-owl-blr @imlike-so-gaydude @user284747 @dreifhraniquo29 @emeraldevan @simp4nat @boobabietch @impossibleliv1031 @deadpool-in-a-snood @rainbow-love4ever @maria-403 @pompompuri @halleest @wandaromanova @marveloussimp @rainbow-hedgehog @left-and-right-up-and-down @get-the-fuck-outta-here @awolfcsworld @elduster @alexkolax @georgi-salva @imdumbhi @youralphawolf72 @reginassweetheart @justyourwritter69 @yangsroboarmm @8e-h-e8 @irish-piece-of-trash @femalehomosexual666 @wol-fica
#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday addams imagine#wednesday addams x fem!reader#wednesday addams#wednesday#wednesday addams x you#wednesdayedit#imagine#fanfic#fluff#angst#wednesday addams fanfic#jenna ortega#wednesday x reader#my story
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Tropical Milkweed, Its Problems, and What To Plant Instead
I am writing this to atone for the sins of my past (handing out tropical milkweed cuttings to my friends and teachers before I knew better).
(Also let me make this clear I am Floridian I am writing this from the perspective of someone in the United States if you live in Tropical Milkweed's native range this doesn't apply to you go forth pogchamp)
Look online, on TV, in books, in newspapers, left, right, up, down, anywhere, and you'll see people talking about how planting milkweed is crucial, essential for the survival of monarch butterflies. Milkweed is the only plant that monarch caterpillars can eat as they're growing, and the loss of it in our wild spaces is one of the most direct links to the ecological extinction speedrun of not just monarchs, but dozens of other insects who rely on its abundance of nectar-filled flowers to survive. You'll be urged to run, not walk, to your nearest garden center, buy as much milkweed as you can, and hurry fast to plant it in your gardens and be part of the solution, not the problem. The issue is that, oftentimes, the milkweed you leave the store with is a vibrant red and orange, with pointed green leaves, dozens like it lining the shelves across stores all over the nation...
Tropical milkweed. Scarlet milkweed. Bloodflower. Mexican butterfly weed. Asclepias curassavica. This plant is a being of many names, and our culprit of the hour.
'Culprit? Culprit of what?' Culprit of enticing people to buy it under the guise of helping, only to possibly cause more harm than good.
Let's discuss.
Tropical Milkweed (Asclepias curassavica) is a gorgeous milkweed (especially the yellow variety? ooh, that had me in a grip as a teen) that's easy to obtain--too easy. It lines the shelves of stores like Walmart, Lowe's, Home Depot, and even hundreds and dozens of smaller garden stores, and is sold for reasonably cheap because its quick and easy to grow from seed and eagerly roots from cuttings. It's extremely popular with butterflies too--in many scenarios, Tropical Milkweed will be preferred as host plants over other related species like Butterflyweed (Asclepias tuberosa), and its also popular with other species of butterfly, bees, and wasps as a nectar source. It lasts well into winter in some areas of the United States, is quick to regrow when cut back, and doesn't die back for periods of the season like some other milkweeds do. It's eager to reseed, creating capsules with tens of dozens of seeds and scattering across the winds with the help of little silky parachutes much like the ones dandelions are known for.
'Ani, what's the problem with that? This all sounds like its great for monarchs!'
See, here's the kickers. In fact, here's several kickers. Here's an entire mollywhopping of kickers.
OE Infections
In the temperate areas that it doesn't die back over winter (or even, in some cases, where it doesn't die back during the season like other milkweeds), it can become a host for OE. OE is short for Ophryocystis elektroscirrha, and its a protozoan parasite that can and frequently does infect monarchs. As infected monarchs visit different plants--whether its to drink nectar, to lay eggs, or even just doing a fly-by of the garden--they drop spores from their wings that can then fall onto the leaves, flowers, and even any eggs already on the plant. As caterpillars hatch and begin to eat the plant, they ingest the protozoan, which begins the cycle anew. High OE levels in adult monarchs have been linked to lower migration success, reductions in body mass, lifespan, mating success, and flight ability. And that's if the caterpillars don't succumb prematurely to the infection, or if they're able to even exit their cocoon and fly once they finish pupating--deformed wings are frequently a result after infections. Now, OE is a parasite that's evolved alongside monarchs--and monarchs are usually able to handle an infection just fine, but if they're carrying a high load? That's where the problem lies.
What role does tropical milkweed play in this? Most milkweeds die back after blooming, at least once or even twice per season--and the parasite dies alongside them. As native milkweeds push out fresh foliage, its parasite-free, offering a healthy new buffet for caterpillars. Tropical milkweed... doesn't do that. If nothing's done, (at least in my state of Florida) tropical milkweed will stay fresh and green all the way up until the first real frost hits way in December--and that's if there's a hard frost, when you travel farther south. And during all that time, OE levels are building up on the leaves, so any future caterpillars that feed on this plant are doomed the instant their egg is laid on a leaf.
Its not that it's utterly impossible for a monarch to get infected with OE on any other kind of milkweed--monarchs are known for their traveling habits, and the chances of them happening upon a different milkweed plant than the tropical milkweed in your backyard is pretty high. But whereas native milkweeds die back and essentially reboot their system with fresh, disease-free leaves at least once a season, tropical milkweeds are like downloading a virus onto a USB and then passing it to your friends.
But that's not all, either. Time for kick 2.
Migration Interruption
Sit with me a moment and imagine you're a monarch butterfly. You're hardwired to know that as your food source starts dwindling at home, its time to get a move on and fly on down to the family's vacation home in Mexico for the winter. The buffets shut down, you exit stage left. But on your way to what's essentially a season-long smorgasbord with friends, you find... a buffet is still open. You're supposed to leave when the buffets are shutting down, but this one's up and running, lights are on, and plenty of people are there having fun, so you step in to relax. You'll take your trip later.
Now imagine a bit after you entered that buffet, the staff stuffed the guests into the walk-in freezer, locked the door, turned off all the lights, locked up the building, and left.
That's basically what tropical milkweed being 'evergreen' is doing to monarch butterflies in the fall and winter seasons. In areas up north where it can stay growing far later into the fall/winter months--or worse, in the south, where it can basically be evergreen until a hard frost (if one even happens), it can interrupt the monarchs' iconic migration cycle. They'll stay in place and continue breeding, living life like they aren't supposed to be a country away--until a frost hits, and they're dead in a snap. And if there's not a frost, you're getting a bunch of OE spore-ridden monarchs flying around a bunch of OE spore-ridden milkweed plants that the butterflies who followed the rules and overwintered in Mexico are gonna be returning to. POV you're starting a family in a house so laden with asbestos and black mold that there's practically black dust floating around.
This is already pretty bad. Can it get worse? Absolutely. Kick number 3.
It's Pretty Invasive (in the US)
It's fast growing, its eager to go to seed (so eager that it can flower and produce seed at the same time), its growing all throughout winter--which would be great, if it were native to the United States. Unfortunately, it isn't! As one could imply from the name, Mexican butterfly weed is native to--well--Mexico, as well as the Caribbean, South America, and Central America.
Further North into the states, and it's more of an annual--a plant that lasts maybe a year tops, dies back permanently, and you go buy more next year, or start from seed. Further south? It's a perennial, baby--which means its got even more time to spread its seeds and really thrive in the warmer climates of places like Florida, Texas, California, etc. Not to mention, as climate change makes temperatures rise, places where tropical milkweed is an annual may quickly begin seeing it stand strong all year...
I won't pretend to be a Professional Milkweed Identifier. I'm getting better at it with time, but I'm not a pro. But most of the time I go outside and I go 'oh, that's a milkweed!' its tropical milkweed. I've seen it grow in the sidewalk cracks of a gardening store I go to--its a clean four feet tall, always flowering, always making seeds. Tropical Milkweed is eager to escape the confines of your backyard, or make more plants in your backyard--I started with 5 plants one year, and the next year I had seven, then twelve, and that's just the ones that didn't get mowed over in the seedling stage...
But wait, that's not all! Kick number 4, baby!
Toxic to Monarchs????
According to the Xerces Foundation, emerging research suggests that tropical milkweed may become toxic to monarch caterpillars when exposed to the warmer temperatures associated with climate change.
'What the fuck, I thought milkweed was good for monarchs! How the hell does that happen?!'
All milkweeds produce cardenolides in their sap--a type of steroid that are toxic to most insects (and even people). Milkweeds create it to repel herbivores that would munch on it otherwise--except for milkweed butterflies (Danainae family), like our legendary monarch, as well as the queen and plain tiger butterfly. Larvae eat up milkweed leaves like there's no tomorrow, to stock up on those cardenolides and become toxic to their vertebrate predators--except for a few species that have evolved to become cardenolide-tolerant (black-backed orioles and black-headed grosbeaks). But, when cardenolide concentrations are high enough, it's too strong for even monarch butterflies to withstand--they die because of the very plant that's supposed to give them life. Kinda fucked up. Comparatively, many native species have lower cardenolide levels--and don't immediately go into flux at higher temps like tropical milkweed does.
'Wait, Ani, if there's all these problems with tropical milkweed, why is it sold everywhere?'
Capitalism. The answer is capitalism.
Well, actually, its a bit more complicated than that but it's also still capitalism.
The very same things that make tropical milkweed so invasive and such an issue are what make it so incredibly popular to sell. It's fast growing, and eagerly starts from cuttings as well as from seeds--which is perfect for growing tons of plants in quick and easy batches to send to vendors all over and get a quick profit. It's easy to grow from the home gardener too--its resistant to most diseases, looks gorgeous almost year-round, is quick to return in many areas without even the slightest sign of a die-back, and is popular with monarchs and other pollinators. Want to start a pollinator garden with quick results? Plant milkweed--and when tropical milkweed is all that you see available when you walk into your beloved store, it's what most people are going to get without thinking twice. Not to mention, when you hear it starts quick from cuttings, and you really wanna get your friends and loved ones into pollinator gardening, well... you get well-meaning people sharing invasive plants with their homies, like I did in high school. I've been pollinator gardening for around sixish-sevenish years (I think) and I didn't even catch wind that tropical milkweed was invasive until three years in! To say I was mortified doesn't describe it fully.
'Wait, three years ago? So information about this has been out awhile! Why aren't more places selling native milkweeds by now?! Why are people still buying this invasive milkweed and not native ones?!'
It's capitalism again! But in a different way.
Compared to tropical milkweed, many other milkweeds are a lot more... finnicky to get started, or grow in general. Many of them are a lot slower to germinate, are more prone to failing as seedlings and falling victim to things like 'dampening off' or 'too many aphid' or 'the vibes were wrong.' If they do germinate, they're slower to get to size too--I've grown tropical milkweed from seed in solo cups and gotten something about four inches tall within maybe a month and a half. Some other milkweeds I've grown from seed take about a month and a half to get more than four leaves, or even poke their little green heads out of the dirt. In addition to this, milkweeds have taproots--and some are a lot more friendly to the concept of 'transplanting from a pot to the ground' or 'growing in a pot at all' than others, and tropical milkweed ranks at the top of that list again. Not to mention, their willingness and ability to overwinter in pots--many native milkweeds fail that test, meaning that even if all the resources and efforts are put into getting a milkweed to grow from seed, it won't survive longer than a year in that pot. Considering most milkweeds don't flower until a year or so into their growth, and it's easier to sell plants that are flowering... many plants are a tough sell.
Another reason? Some native milkweeds are way more picky about when they want to make seed pods, or what conditions their seeds want to be grown in. If the seeds are hard to obtain? Good luck growing them in a production greenhouse. Let alone finding seeds for sale to grow them yourself at home--in my hunt for native milkweed species, I've seen packets of ten seeds sold for twenty bucks, packets of 25 seeds sold for anywhere from 50 to 100--meanwhile, you can find dozens if not hundreds of tropical milkweed seeds sold in a pack for maybe a dollar or five.
Let's be real. Producers haven't figured out the magic ticket to pumping out native milkweeds like they have with tropical milkweed--as such, finding native milkweeds for sale is rare, and they're often pricier. And as someone who's been to a native plant sale and found the stands sold out of milkweeds not even 30 minutes into the event--you are likely not the only person wanting native milkweeds. It is war out there in the garden parties.
And that's assuming you've actually found native milkweed for sale! As you get better with milkweed IDs, you'll be able to clearly identify the liars who are telling you they've got something that they don't, but for those who aren't In The Know--if you see a milkweed labeled like a native milkweed and want to buy native milkweed, it might be too late by the time you realize you just got sold tropical milkweed with a mislabel. Whether its on accident or on purpose, it still bites.
I've asked some of my favorite, smaller greenhouses if they'd be willing to start selling native milkweeds. Most of the time I get an exasperated 'I would love to.' But they can only sell what the vendors can produce--so if they can't find a vendor that's selling swamp milkweed (or at least reliably), then they can't give me swamp milkweed when I poke my head in asking if they have any in stock. Of all the times I've gone to dozens of different green houses and gardening events, in different cities even, to see if they have any native milkweeds I've only had success a few times--one small vendor who only has them in stock at events sometimes (and that's if I don't show up late), and the one time I rolled into a not-big-box-but-not-small gardening store near my friends house after being sad that I couldn't find it at a different gardening event. And the one I found there was the last one they had in stock for the next month or two. Until The Vendors get better at growing native milkweeds, your best bet is going to be growing it from seed yourself, getting a start from a friend, or dumb luck at smaller nurseries and events. It's rough out here, friends.
Granted! Keep in mind! That whole last paragraph was personal anecdotes. It's entirely possible that other places' greenhouses have already caught on, and I'm simply in the shadowlands where nobody's selling native milkweeds except for once or twice a year and selling out within 20 minutes of opening their damn booth. And I've heard tell of people getting milkweed popping up willingly in their backyards by doing things as simple as not mowing. I pray you have better luck than I do, young Padawan.
Now, keep in mind, there are people actively working on this. Whether its a team of university scientists dedicating themselves to a project, or a few home-growers in a sunny backyard and a greenhouse doing their damn best to grow native milkweeds as efficiently as possible for themselves and their friends, there are people working on this, sharing advice and communicating online. This isn't some unresolved issue that no one has noticed. We just... aren't at the end post yet. Until then, we scrounge for what we can.
'Oh no, oh god, I have a bunch of tropical milkweed plants in my garden!! Am I a bad person?!?!'
No You Are Not A Bad Person For Growing Tropical Milkweed
And I'm perfectly honest about that. Because I'm here telling you this and I've still got tropical milkweed plants in my backyard. As that one comic once said, about 10,000 people learn something new every day, and unfortunately today that 'new thing' is a bit sad and a bit untimely. In full honesty, oftentimes in my brain I refer to Tropical Milkweed as Starter Milkweed--its what a lot of pollinator gardeners end up starting with, because its just so available! But! There are things that you can do to mitigate the Damage that tropical milkweed can bring to your backyard butterflies.
Step One: Cut back your milkweeds! At least once a year, maybe even twice a year if you want. This will force them to put out new growth, which will be free of OE spores and give monarchs on it a good head start against the Disease. But for sure, for sure, cut your milkweeds back in the fall--once October hits, I go into the backyard and I snip down everything that's tropical milkweed. Usually at this point (at least for me), the milkweeds don't try to grow back again until spring. This is to prevent monarchs from seeing a buffet and getting locked in the freezer.
Step Two: Cut back seed pods! You would not believe how many seed pods milkweed makes. You see those little green footballs? You wanna snip these back ASAP. Even if they're tiny, but especially if they're bit. In peak flower production times, I'll go out there at least once a week and just do a look-back and cut them off. You can even yoink them off with your hands if you're in a rush--just don't get that sap into your eyes. If you do this, you're stopping seed production in its tracks--and don't forget, these plants want nothing more than to split those pods open and unleash a hellfire of flying seeds all over the place. They'll float on air, they'll float on water, they'll do whatever until they land on a prime patch of soil and get started.
If you see these you're a tinge too late. But also still yoink that off and Dispose of it.
Step 3: Don't give cuttings to your friends. It's tempting. If you're raising caterpillars in a little enclosure and see that every time you refresh your cuttings, the old ones have tons of roots and are ready for a little pot of soil and a name tag? Don't. Resist the best you can. Dispose of your cuttings whenever you go in for a trim.
Step 4: Consider replacing them with something else! I know I already went off about just how hard it was to find native milkweeds for sale, how expensive and difficult they can be to grow--but they're not impossible to grow, and putting in the effort could be worth it! Even as I speak, I'm trying to add as many native milkweeds to my garden as possible--and when I've got something that grows reliably in my backyard, I will eagerly rip up my aging tropical milkweed plants and promptly toss them in the bin so i can put a new, better milkweed in its place. Native milkweeds are more likely to be suited to your environment, making it easier to maintain and more welcoming to the pollinators we gardeners want to help. Not to mention, a lot of them are way pettier than tropical milkweed (in my opinion). Do some hunting online to see what's native to your area--your state's extensions office will likely be great for this! You've likely got great variety--the state of Florida has 21 native milkweeds! Who knows how many your state has! (Not me, I am Floridian, and I am already getting dizzy trying to learn about all 21 of our milkweeds).
Conclusion!
Anyone who knows me knows I'm not gonna be the one to discourage someone from starting a garden, especially a pollinator gardener, and especially growing milkweed. But avoid tropical milkweed when you can--the harms it can cause far outweigh the quick satisfaction of a busy garden it can bring. Take some time to select a native plant more suited to your area, give it some friends and some time, and soon you'll have an amazing pollinator garden that'll be teeming with life!
#milkweed#tropical milkweed#asclepias curassavica#asclepias#outdoor gardening#succulents#bloodflower#pollinator garden#pollinator gardening#monarch butterfly#ani rambles#out of queue#what was it three hours ago that I was declaring that I wasn't gonna write up a long research post again?#now here i am at 3:30 am ranting about milkweed with like a dozen sources#granted this is nowhere NEAR as long as the biodiversity saga was BUT STILL#i told myself i was gonna write today... i meant one of my novels NOT RANTING ABOUT MILKWEED#if this post blows up this is gonna go on my wall of 'posts that i thought of on the toilet that got way more popular than I expected'#there's not a lot of posts on that wall maybe 2 or 3 but its weird that its happened that many times already
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hi, idk if requests are open but if so..
can you please write deacon x reader when during a case his wife saves a man’s life. the next day, the guy goes to the station with flowers to thank her and asks her out and deacon gets jealous!
Yes! I love getting them!
Enjoy! ❤️
Deacon’s station had been temporarily relocated next to yours while their headquarters were being remodeled. A firehouse, EMS station, and police headquarters all on the same block? It kept the banter between your first responder branches alive. You all spent your free time hanging out, training together, and cooking good meals to be eaten in between calls. You and your partner had just sat down with 20-David and the fire crew on for the shift when you were dispatched to a difficulty breathing call.
“Love you, Babe.” Deacon said as he chewed his mouth full of food.
“Love you too.” You responded. You had to be mindful not to kiss him or have any public displays of affection while you were on shift together. That was a BIG no no and would undoubtedly result in one of you two being moved stations. Despite being restricted on affection for 24 hours, you enjoyed sharing a station with your husband.
The rest of the house told you and your partner to be safe as you left to run the call.
You arrived on scene to find a 40 year old male having an anaphylactic reaction to some peanuts he unknowingly ingested while having a severe peanut allergy. He had given himself his epi per a friend on scene, but with no relief.
You immediately administered a second dose of epi, followed by 25 mg of benadryl, as well as a nebulizer breathing treatment. You and your partner were able to get him onto the stretcher and loaded into your ambulance where you got an IV and continued treating him on your way to the hospital. You had to admit, he was a stubborn one - as you would say. You threw the entire anaphylactic protocol at him down to intravenous epi and there still wasn’t a ton of improvement. Regardless, he wasn’t any worse by the time you dropped him off at the hospital.
You returned to service once you made it back to the station to restock. You told Deacon and Luca about the call. You were always excited to get to run good calls where you were able to use your full skill set as a paramedic. Deacon adored listening to you talk about good calls. He loved watching the spark in your eye when you talked about getting to help people and use the skills you trained hard to develop.
Deacon stood at the back doors of your ambulance while you put your supplies away.
“You are so beautiful, you know that, right?”
You looked up from your medication bag and smiled at him.
“You’re not half bad yourself, Kay.”
Your husband chuckled.
“I love getting to see you work and I love hearing you talk about getting to do your job.”
“Well, baby, you know I love what I do.”
A week later, you both were on shift together again. You were checking off your ambulance that morning while the firemen checked off their trucks and SWAT checked their gear.
You and your partner were lost in conversation together about a recent call you ran when you overheard someone asking a fireman for Paramedic Kay - you. The engineer walked the man over to you and you immediately recognized him as the anaphylactic patient you had cared for earlier in the week.
A man walking into the bays carrying an impressive bouquet of flowers caught Deacon’s eye - even more so when he heard the man ask for his wife.
“Who the hell is that?” Luca asked his teammate.
“We’re about to find out.” Deacon said, making a bee-line for your ambulance.
“These are beautiful. Thank you.” You thanked the man, taking the flowers from him as you smiled.
Your husband caught your eye as he approached the side door of your ambulance and stepped inside.
“As a thank you for saving my life, I would love to take you out to dinner one night, that is, if you would please go out with me?” The man asked.
Deacon was standing next to you as you sat in the captain’s seat in the back of the truck. You heard a low growl escape his throat.
“I thank you for your kindness and consideration, but I was simply doing my job. I love what I do, so I’m pretty good at it. However, I am married to a wonderful man.”
Deacon smirked to himself, “And even if I wasn’t married, there is a strict no-no on dating patients.”
Deacon looked at the man and noted he was visibly disappointed.
“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind?” The man asked.
As professional as you were trying to remain, your kindness was quickly wearing thin when the man asked you again after you had revealed to him you were married, but Deacon didn’t leave you time to respond.
“Brother, I believe she told you that she was married.”
Your patient became obviously disgruntled.
“Marriages don’t mean much now-a-days.”
You could tell that struck a nerve with your husband. His posture became more upright and he held his hand out towards the man, expecting a handshake. You kept silent to watch the scene unfold. You noticed Luca had approached the back doors of the ambulance as well.
“My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself to you,” Deacon began, “I’m SWAT Sergeant David Kay. Paramedic Kay is my wife.”
The man stuttered and turned around to leave without responding or shaking your husband’s hand.
“Don’t forget. Keep your epi pen somewhere that’s room temperature and replace them when they expire!” Your partner reminded the man as he walked off.
Once the man was out of earshot, you could no longer contain your laugher.
“Really?” You said, laughing at your partner.
Your partner shrugged.
“Fucker.” You heard Deacon mumble.
When you arrived home the next morning with your husband, you were undressing from your uniforms.
“David Kay,” you said sternly with a slight sensual tone in your voice.
“Yes ma’am?” He turned around after taking his shirt off.
You felt butterflies in your stomach. You always secretly loved when Deacon said ma’am to you, or called you mama, or his ole lady.
“Was that jealousy that I saw in you yesterday?”
You smirked and made your way over to your husband. You wrapped your arms around his neck.
“And if it was?” His voice was low and sensual.
“I’ve never seen that side of you like that before.” You rubbed the back of his neck with your finger tips.
“That’s because no man has openly disrespected you like that in front of me before. You are my wife. That should be respected.”
“You know I have eyes for you…” you traced his pecs and abs down to his belt with your fingers, “and only you.”
You stood up on your tip toes to kiss your husband.
He wrapped his arms around you, groping your ass with his hands, and moaned into the kiss.
You spent the day showing your husband that he was the only one you would ever want.
#christina alonso#dominic luca#david kay#hondo harrelson#imagine#jay harrington#jim street#swat#swat cbs#david deacon kay#paramedic
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The 7 sins characterization on Helluva Boss on the social aspect.
So far, on Helluva Boss we have only meet these:
Mammon, the Greed. Asmodeous, the Lust. Beelzebub, the Glutony.
Surely everyone has noticed how when it comes to socialize, Queen Bee and Ozzie are very different from Mammon.
On the first place, both Ozzie and Bee have loved ones, and are quite nice to be around with, which opposes Mammon greatly. And this is quite baffling because "they are the embodiment of Deadly Sins, they are supposed to be the bad guys, every single one of them".
Well, it appears Vizzie and her team simply designed them to be those sins. The embodiment of each of those things, so it's not implied they have to be bad guys, but on the other hand... they kind of are.
I mean, Beelzebub casually talked about stealing drugs with no shame at all and even called the one who she was doing to a lame person for being upset for it. Not to mention how she encourages drinking to the point of almost get completely wasted.
And Asmodeus acts sexually intimidating and we saw how he acted with Moxxie's romantic song that had no dirty remarks. He was imposing with his view and acted sexually intimidating.
But it's a little of a surprise they don't look bad since they also can be nice and mostly... next to Mammon they REALLY ARE.
..In comparision, yes. But also we really thought they surely we're supposed to be freaking monsters, so what we got instead doesn't seem like the big deal we had in mind.
But their behaviour and how their social approach is different than the Sin of Greed can be, in fact, explained in how they are the embodiment of each Sin.
Let's start with Ozzie.
Lust is about sexual desire, but sex related demons are pretty much designed to be charming and seductive as well, which means they have excelent social skills. Verosika, for example, is a pop star, with many fans.
Ozzie, on the other hand, he thrives from any lust that is felt anywhere. So he exposes a sex-positive way of life, in which each individual doesn't have to sleep with him, but can be in each way, even in loving relationships. In fact, he mostly seems to focus on people feeling any type of lust and get to enjoy it, since sexual pleasure has the word pleasure on it.
Ozzie's relationship with Fizz is very active on the sexual aspect as well, and affection and love are very present on this relation as well. After all, the physical intimacy and affection do compliment sex, even if they are not a must.
So, lust is something that implies positive social interactions (at least if one intends all participants to enjoy, which is what Asmodeus wants) and coexists with love and affection just fine to the point it can mix with ease.
As for Beelzebub.
As a sin that implies indulgement and obtain satisfaction through food or ingested stuff, Bee aims to please and allures people into her style of life. Key word on allure.
I already analysed how she is and directs her realm:
So as someone who thrives on people being glutonous, she has found that the party queen thing fits her just fine and she seeks that everyone finds that satisfaction on indulgement. This means she uses positive ways to interact with people.
Also, feasts and parties are extremely social events in any culture. This means she has to be someone who is nice to be with.
Then why is Mammon the only one who is entirely a monster, you may ask?
The answer would be: greed is something completely anti-social.
Greed is competitive, and the people allowed around those who are greedy are either people you can get stuff from or straight up leech from.
For example, the twins Glitz and Glam were only a team because they exploit what they are as a team, but they were observed as kind of competitive between them as well, when the only moments when they talk to each other they are salty.
Mammon is the same, he is mostly open about how he only cares about Fizz as a money-maker and puts extreme preassure on him, and gives only encouragement for what he wants Fizz to be and do.
The conclusion we can get for this is: these Sins express social interaction in a way that fits what they are. Glutony is completely fine with social stuff and for Lust has social interaction as a must, so they have to be not complete assholes. Meanwhile Greed is definitely one.
So, we can expect whoever Envy is to be horrible as well, and Pride might have their moments, but most likely is pretty awful too.
Wrath can be a kind of a good person, since one can feel wrath from rightful anger from a offense concerning a loved one. And we have seen people from Wrath being nice and even loving with each other. The social aspect of wrath can be mostly partnership.
As for Sloth, I feel this being is pretty neutral with people. XD
#helluva boss analysis#helluva mammon#helluva beelzebub#helluva asmodeus#queen bee#mammon is awful#each sin is different and they don't have to be all the worst#they are beings from hell but their respective sins have layers and therefore positive aspects#not greed that bitch is nothing but bad news#bee and ozzie wants people to have a good time#it's good to not go with those too far of course#remember to have measure
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Shockbee
Shockwave disguised as Longarm during a conversation is asked what he sees in Bee.
Got the idea from this.
The alarm rang in the military complex.
The signal was more that known to the bots stationed in the giant building: Lunchbreak.
Both cadets and officers headed to the cafeteria, all lined up in maybe a little less than a line and waited their turn to get fuel.
Longarm, who's been one of the first to receive his food, sat alone at the table and waited for his 2 companions to join- Bulkhead and the little more important one, Bumblebee.
Said scout was currently trying not to get trampled by other big bots while they pushed in front of them with their trays to refuel faster. To his rescue came Bulkhead who was standing a little behind Bee and picked him up and sat him on his shoulder so he wouldn't get hurt on accident.
The whole situation made Longarm chuckle, Bee was so adorable when he puffed up his cheeks in annoyance. He couldn't help but continue watching the little bot. He didn't even notice when Ironhide approached him. He looked at the expression Longarm had before following his gaze.
"Seriously Longarm? Him?" The gruff voice snapped said bot out of his thoughts, he looked at the orange mech holding his own tray- ever since Wasp disappeared, Ironhide has been nicer in general. He still was somewhat of a jerk but it was clear he was kind of glad Wasp was gone and he didn't have to do what he said anymore.
"What?" Longarm hasn't really heard what he said the first time. Ironhide only looked back at where Longarm was looking earlier. "Really, what do you see in him?"
Longarm followed- Bee was hovering over the fuel deposits trying to get the best of eveything while Bulkhead held him midair. It looked rather comical from the side, especially with the way Bee's faceplace scrunched up in focus and tip of his glossa poked out as he tried to grab a rustbun on the far end of the deposit.
Longarm thought about it for a while, an uncertain fluttery feeling swelling up in his Spark before replying. "He makes me feel good."
A little smile appearing as he continued watching Bee pick up the rustbun and place if on his tray- only for it to roll down and make some other things on his tray fall off too.
Ironhide stayed only for a moment before huffing and going away. Longarm watched him sit down at some other table before his attention snapped back to the giant/inchman duo that approached their shared table. It seemed like Bee gotten something else to eat instead of the rustbun.
All 3 sat together and chatted while ingesting their meals, Bulkhead was explaining some other project for his engineering class while Bee cracked jokes as usual. Longarm just listened to him talk, smile growing bigger with every moment he spend near Bee.
I didn't know what to write so i just wrote down this litte story! Hope you enjoyed!
Also she looks bald on one side. You're welcome. X3
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omg transbipolar tips please? (if that's ok ofc!) if u do ty sooooo much (and no worries if not! ty anyway 4 being on tumblr :3)
hiii hello :33 heres some transbipolar tips from a cisBP II guything :D
general tips!!
track 👏 your👏 mood 👏!! i'd suggest one mood tracker for the moods/emotions you're actually experiencing (to track progress for example) (i use Daylio, it's great!) & one for the moods/episodes you want to experience! for BP specific moods (mainly depression/mania) i use Bipolar UK!
exaggerate your regular daily moods! if you've been in a good mood all day but suddenly feel a bit down play it up! i've gone from cruising in a very high mood (perhaps even bordering on hypomanic) to absolutely crashing for days because of one bad mood swing :P
hypomania & mania tips!!! (note: ive yet to experience a 100% manic episode, so i dont have as much personal experience there!)
hypomania: hypomania is characterized, for me, by very very high energy, high productivity (but never finishing anything), lots of inspiration & creative drive and feeling wayyy more social than usual!
also, completely losing track of my finances, needing less sleep (like. 2-3hrs & i feel well rested where i usually need 8-9,,), less need for food, almost no actual feelings of hunger (once in a month long ep i only ate One Piece Of Bread per day with the occasional (once a week max) pizza & was "fine") & being more open to drinking (and/or considering trying to get my hands on 'harder' stuff like psychedelics) where i usually straight up dont like alcohol!
i'd recommend going off of what's alr there for you; so if you notice you've been in a pretty good mood recently, say that's a hypomanic episode now! go out a lot (clubbing if you want to/can!), make efforts to meet new ppl & make friends, be very motivated & high energy and do everything (and i mean everything!) in excess (talk fast af & never stop talking, be restless and pace around, constanty occupy yourself w/ smth bcs otherwise you'll be understimulated af)
for mania: crank up everything about hypomania by about 300%. it's like there's a million bees inside your bones, you feel restless cant be still do a thousand things in a day, lose all sense of responsibility & become extremely reckless, either due to your extremely elevated mood or because of delusions or other psychotic symptoms.
oh yeah, psychosis! in a mixed ep i spent a day convinced i had somehow accidentally ingested alcohol (i hadnt)! intrusive thoughts, extreme anxiety around it, physical, olfactory & taste-based hallucinations around it, the whole package.
other BP based psychosis ive experienced: visual hallucinations (insects & spiders for me), jumbled & rapid thoughts (it felt different to adhd fast thoughts it was so weird lol)
see this article (link) for other psychotic symptoms during manic (or depressive!) episodes in pwBP!
i'd probably recommend "picking a theme" for delusions & halluciantions & the like, to make it easier to focus on them? tho i havent experienced psychosis enough to know if i have a 'theme' :P
depressive episodes!!
my least favorite (also, i feel like more things are known abt depression) (ALSO- i have seasonal affective disorder too which influences my BP episodes)
depressive episodes mean extreme lethargy for me. im tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep i get (& i'll be getting way more than usual. 10-12 hrs on average with the occasional 13 hrs 🥶).
very little movement. physical, mental, emotional, metaphyical. i often get stuck in bed, if not physically then mentally. spending my day anywhere but in my bed will feel weird & wrong. i will feel pretty numb/wont have access to my emotions anymore & often compltely stop thinking abt & processing my day-to-day life
^ this usually results in strong amnesia around depressive episodes but that might be a plural thing so. take it w a grain of salt lol
depressive episodes also make me self isolate as fuck. im talking forgoing my physical needs if theres a Chance i'll run into my roommate.
oh, yeah, also i just stop taking care of my basic physical as well as i do when balanced. i need to be starving to be able to get up & eat smth, & god forbid i want to actually cook smth rather than eating frozen pizza or eating out/ordering in
i also usually stop doing anything more creative than daydreaming (hashtag immersive daydreaming gang/silly) but even those are less immersive and less frequent. i'll be artblocked 24/7, have no inspiration or motivation and probably wont even miss drawing :P
& thats it! i hope you can find smth usefull in my rambling :3c /gen
and good luck & have fun with your transition!! you have my full support :D /gen
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a serious idea building off the more humorous "do bugs have weed" i wonder if they could use certain mildly poisonous plants or mushrooms to recreationally get high....some bug cultures would prob be super open and encouraging of this while others would hate it and see it as distasteful, theres also the possibility of bug substances not having the same or as strong of an effect on one species as they do others. im overthinking this anyways! food for thought
You know I might actually consider that. I thought about it for a minute and worried about realism but then I remembered this is a story where the bugs can talk, have societies, form religions, forge weapons, etc. The realism was lost from the moment of the story's conception
Some bugs, due to their small size/mass, can either only ingest recreational mushrooms with a strict limit or straight up not eat it at all due to it being extremely dangerous to them. Bigger bugs can easily ingest a larger amount of it through most forms, although it's typically through eating it
Mosquitoes, Flies, Fireflies, Worker Ants, Workers Bees: Can't ingest psychedelics without risk of extreme health issues, going comatose or in some severe cases, death
Worker Wasps, Earthworm, Ant Queens, Moths, Butterflies, Bee Queens, Pillbugs, Slugs, Wasp Queens, Hammerhead Worms, Smaller beetle/spider species: Can ingest psychedelics decently enough but only up to a certain point if they go past their limit, they're likely to become incredibly sick
Cockroaches, Dragonflies, Spiders, Cicadas, Beetles: Can handle psychedelics incredibly well compared to the other bugs. It rarely poses a threat to them
You are right though in that some bug kingdoms don't view these psychedelics very well (Usually more common in bugs that cannot ingest psychedelics), a great example of this is the Ant Colonies
Both from a safety standpoint and also cultural/societal standpoint
Ant culture puts a great amount of pride and effort into their work, what they can do for their colony and more importantly, for their Queen
An ant who is both sick and high from consuming psychedelics is seen in a bad light, in some extreme cases, the ant will be killed off
I'd have to look in a bit more with different kinds of fungus in california that are psychedelics. I should note that everything I just said, also applies to bugs and the effects that cannabis has on them, not just psychedelics
#blimbo rambles#ask#bug world no mercy#drugs tw#drugs cw#weed cw#weed tw#sorry for talking about bug drugs chat
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Hi Bee, do you perhaps have any thoughts on mermaid Getou 💕
suguru knows the old ways.
he knows that there is a plant hidden in the depths of the ocean, where the waters are the blue-black of an incoming storm. it's a weed that studs the edges of the deep chasms in the ocean floor. he's found it before. knows the shape of its fronds and the slight opalescent gleam of it. there's some tucked away in the corner of his rooms, hidden amid other jars.
if ingested, it would allow you to breathe underwater permanently.
next to him, you shift. he closes the gap you create without thinking, his tail winding around your legs. underwater, it looks like an oil slick, cuts through the clear water like the night sky swallows down the sun.
you squirm.
he lets you. he likes it, the way you move, how your muscles dance beneath the thin layer of your skin. he sees the shift of it so clearly, even under the layers of pearls he's draped you with.
you squirm more. he watches the furrow of your brow, the way the air slowly bubbles from your lips.
he waits until you reach for him.
then he leans in and kisses you, soft and sure and solid. he breathes for you. you press further into the kiss, hungry against him, desperate for air, swallowing down what he gives.
he pulls away when you have enough for several hours. your eyes flutter open.
there's a softness to you now, a haze like summer heat flickering over your face. it comes with the magic; your body isn't fully equipped for it. you settle down next to him, pressed close against him. he can feel the heat of you against the coolness of his scales.
maybe one day, he thinks, eyeing the jar.
for now, though, he likes you like this.
reliant on him.
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6- Sharks or whales?
10- Orange juice or tomato soup?
12- How many people are you following?
13- How many drafts do you have?
18- Did you know Lunchables are actually toxic? (They have bad stuff you’re not supposed to ingest them, look it up)
23- Geese or ducks?
24- What’s your favorite random fact?
27- If someone were to talk about “the hive”, would you know what they’re talking about?
28- I like your shoelaces.
29- Bzzzzz. Do you like bees?
30- Favorite Wiggle’s song?
31. Do you believe in unicorns or are you boring?
39- If you got put into the last book you read how fucked would you be?
44- Do you sleep or are you a literal vampire?
47- You get a free murder pass, who do you use it on?
49- Gooses or geese?
50- This isn’t a question, but you’re really great and I hope you know you’re amazing. I hope you’re doing well, and if not, I hope you’re doing better soon. You got this, I believe in you.💛
-Kit💜
6- Hmmm probably sharks because they have adorable faces
10- TOMATO SOUP!! WITH GRILLED CHEESE? AUGHHH HEAVEN
12- 109
13- 4
18- I've never eaten a Lunchable, so no.
23- Ducks! Geese are vicious little noisy demons. (Even though they are cute)
24- 'Uranian' is a historical word used for gay men starting around mid 19th century and extended to late 20th. Long story short, the etymology is from Aphrodite Urania. (epithet greek goddess of love and yada yada but just look that part up yourself it's too long to explain here) And then in the late 19th to early 20th century, "Uranians" referred to a secret homosexual literary group who contributed a good deal of both prose and poetry to the literary and homosexual communities at the time. (Sounds fun, right? Although they did try to bring back pederasty so maybe not altogether perfect)
27- Yes, I think at this point I know so much just from mutuals.
28- Thanks, I stole them from the president. (They're ice cream flavored)
29- Who doesn't!
30- ...Favorite what..? I don't- This is not within my area of expertise.
31- I am unfortunately boring 😔
39- Just finished reading Maurice, so I'd probably be fine. I'm a woman, so I could easily get away with having a 'close best friend'
44- Literal vampire at this point.
47- Hmmmm whomever angers me next.
49- Grammatically, geese. But for fun, gooses.
50- <3333
#kit!#asks#Sorry my explanation of that fun fact was a bit long#I have WAYYY to many articles about this stuff saved up#My brother thinks it's weird but oh well
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Day 1: Helpless | 100 words | Wong reflects on being sick. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 2: Solitary confinement | 100 words | Stephen Strange laments. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 3: "Bit down on this" | 689 words | Sherlo-- Stephen gets injured on a casemission. Watson Wong to the rescue. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 4/5: Obedience/Rope burns | 932 words | Stephen and Wong are held captive in their own home in a robbery gone wrong (mostly). | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 6: "You lied to me." | 500 words | Tony confronts Stephen about a choice he made. A choice that ruined both their lives. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 7: Suffering in silence. | 150 words | Stephen Strange was fine. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 8: "Why won't it stop?" | 200 words | Stephen Strange breaks after using Atlantean Black Magic. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 9: Bees | 1128 words | America gets stung by a bee. Stephen comforts her when she admits her biggest fear. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 10: Killing in self-defense | 100 words | Stephen Strange is found guilty. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 11: Time loop | 100 words | Tony Stark is stuck in a time loop. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 12: Semi-conscious | 741 words | Stephen has a nightmare in the library, one he didn't quite wake up from until he was safe in Wong's arms. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 13: "You weren't supposed to get hurt." | 176 words | Stephen watches his daughter grow up. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 14: Blood-stained tiles | 59 words | Wong reflects on his husbands death. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 15: "Who did this to you?" | 150 words | Stephen visits a grave. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 16: Alt -- "I love you." | 903 words | Stephen plays the bait in a mission to take out a group of rogue sorcerers. Wong intervenes and feelings are felt. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 17: Hostage situation | 694 words | Strange or the people of New York. Tough decision. Who lives, who dies…. You are playing a delicate game, Sorcerer Supreme. You decide who survives. Play God, just for a second, or we destroy your planet. Your choice, Sorcerer Supreme. You have 24 hours to decide. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 18: Alt -- Found footage | 756 words | A video is posted about Stephen Strange and the death of his sister, Donna. Stephen watches his old high school bullies vandalize his locker -- and his well-being. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 19: "Please don't." | 100 words | Stephen and Eugene’s relationship is all but healthy. So when Stephen gets home and finds his father drinking, he tries to avoid him at all costs... but avoiding Eugene is near impossible when you’re the one he’s angry at. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 20: Truth serum | 367 words | Stephen ingests a truth serum. The students of Kamar-Taj are curious, but some take it a bit too far. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 21: Unresponsive | 567 words | Tony finds Stephen nearly dead, barely breathing, an empty bottle of painkillers just out of reach. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 22: Alt -- CPR | 866 words | Tony Stark has a heart attack during an event. Peter performs CPR with the help of a mysterious stranger. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 23: Presumed dead | 200 words | With the cloak returning from the fight alone and radiating sadness, one could only assume the worst. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 24: "I'm doing this because I care about you." | 261 words | Wong is not the person he once was. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 25: Waterboarding | 1110 words | Stephen Strange is part of the .1% of the world's population that can see their soulmate's experiences. Great for Tony Stark, not so great for Stephen when his soulmate gets waterboarded in the middle of Stephen's shift. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 26: "Help them." | 375 words | Stephen knows he's going to die. Why waste time on him when others need it more? | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 27: Left for dead | 455 words | The Illuminati on Earth-838 don't kill Stephen Strange. They maroon him on Titan, alone and stripped of his magic.
Stephen doesn't believe this is punishment enough for his crimes. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 28: "No... not like this."/Alt -- last words | 500 words | Wong finally confesses his feelings for Stephen... just as he's dying in the man's arms. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Day 29: Not allowed to die/Alt -- immortality | 682 words | Stephen Strange is cursed. | Ao3 | Tumblr
Guys we did it. We finished Febuwhump!
#stephen strange#doctor stephen strange#wong#wongstrange#wong x strange#febuwhump 2024#tony stark x stephen strange#all the tags#might add some more later#masterlist#we finished!#i'm kind of proud of myself
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The Era of Allergies
Allergies are a wild thing. We humans have had allergies for thousands of years, we just didn't know how to identify it. There was a recording of an Egyptian pharaoh dying after a single bee sting. In the 1600s, Jean Baptiste van Helmont recorded several instances of what was described as asthma attacks after people ingested sea food like shellfish. Hay fever allergies were seen more like a seasonal illness like a cold. It wasn't until Dr. John Bostock started recording his symptoms in 1812 that allergy study started.
So after more than 200 years of research, we can conclude that Allergies are a real thing. But we still don't know exactly what causes them. Which is a problem, because food allergies are on the rise. We know what happens. In a (nut free) nut shell, our immune system makes an antibody for specific proteins related to food. When our immune system comes in contact with these proteins from a specific food, then release the antibodies to go on the attack. This attack then causes our body to release a bunch of chemicals that causes itching and swelling. Some people get hives, some people's throat swell shut. It's all very personal.
What's really wild is allergies are very unique to each person. Varying in sensitivity and specificity. My mom for example can eat fresh strawberries with no issue. But if they're frozen first, she breaks out in hives. There was a kid at my school who so much as touched coconut ballooned up and needed an epi pen. And I talked to this one guy who was allergic to egg whites but could eat egg yolks with no issue.
So What's causing all these food allergies? What triggers them? Why are they not consistent? Well, the truth of the matter is we don't know for sure. But people smarter than me have some theories. The first theory, (which while I don't think it's the main thing going on, it's probably a big contributor) is we now know what an allergy is and can better record it, as well as treat it. The few possible instances of food allergies in the past may of been misdiagnosed asthma or skin rashes.
The next theory has been that children were eating too much of an allergen prone food too early in life. This is where the explanation of 'Why is everyone allergic to peanuts?' comes from. Because everyone was eating a bunch of peanut butter. So doctors advised parents not to feed their young children allergy prone foods like nuts and eggs. However, that theory has been debunked and doctors are saying again it's fine to introduce your child to these foods. I'm not a doctor so I'm not going to say one way or the other. Just talk to your child's doctor if you have concerns and remember that adults can develop allergies too.
The final theory (And the one I like) is we now live in a very clean society. We know about soap, proper bathing, use chemicals to sterilize our dishware, have food safety protocols; our immune system is looking for something to do. So it decides a protein from a food looks a little like the plague and BAM; off it goes.
Now again, we're not 100% sure why some people get food allergies and some people don't. But it seems to be mostly environmental with minimal genetic components. Which is so new to be figured out, my medical records still say I'm allergic to penicillin despite never having it (My dad was allergic). So here are some things that seem to correlate, though we can't confirm if there's a causation.
Children raised in a house with a cat or dog will be less likely to develop an allergy. Children who start eating a variety of foods from age 6 months in small amounts are less likely to develop an allergy. People with food allergies and asthma are more likely to have an anaphylactic response.
Breastfed babies will be less likely to develop food allergies.
Once you develop an allergy, there is no 'cure'. You might grow out of it, or your doctors can train your body to become less intense. But anything allergy related should be monitored by a doctor. If you encounter anyone who has a severe food allergy, please ask them about their epi-pen! Know where it is so you can get it to them, and how to use it in case they can't.
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Hihi
Do you know any names similar to sypha?
Or otherwise names based on uncommon Botanical poisons/deadly plants? /Np -sparrow
Tox, Toxx, Toxy, Toxic, Toxin, Toxins
Poi, Pois, Poison, Poisic or Toxsin or Toxson (Poison + Toxic)
Harm, Harmed, Harmful, Harmless, Trick, Tricky, Trixy, Acid, Acidic, Acidix, Fatal, Mortality, Abnorm, Abnormal, Abno, Abnor, Chem, Chemi, Chemical
More stuff under cut TvT
Effect, Affect, Burn, Burned, Burning, Burnt, Burns, Sting, Stings, Bite, Bites, Bitten, Scratch, Scratched, Flame, Inflamed, Inflamay, Inflamation, Blis, Blist, Blister, Blisters, Blistex, Danger, Dangex, Dangerous, Endanger, Endangered, Inges, Ingest, Ingested, Smoke, Smokey, Smoky, Sym, Symp, Sympt, Symptom, Expo, Expose, Exposure, Exposed, Inter, Intern, Internal, Grad, Gradual, Gradu, Met, Meta, Metab, Metal, Metallic, Tallic,
Pretty, Pleasant, Pleasing, Pleased, Graze, Grazed, Clustered, Cluster, Clusters, Clust
Leaf, Leaves, Flower, Flowy, Petal, Petals, Tree, Forest, Forestry, Life, Bee, Stem, Petalx, Scent, Scented, Decor, Decorum, Decorate, Decorative, Fern, Seed, Seeds, Thorn, Thorns, Thorny, Prick, Prickle, Prickles, Pricked, Blood, Bleed, Drip, Spine, Spines, Poke, Stab, Stabby, Stabber, Ripe, Ripen
Oleander Nerium: Oleander, Nerium, Olean, Oleand, Leand, Neri, Olener, Neriander
The Tree of Death (Hippomane mancinella): Death, Mane, Manci, Nella, Nellamane, Manella, Sap, Phorbol, Phor
Snakeroot, White (Ageratina altissima): Snake, Root, Snakeroot, Snakey, Roots, Rooted, White, Whiteroot, Agera, Agertina, Altis, Altissima, Sima, Alti, Trematol, Trema, Matol, Trem
Castor Oil (Ricinus Communis): Castor, Oil, Ricinus, Communis, Commun, Munis, Rici, Ricin, Infern, Infernal, Crim, Crims, Crimson
Rosary Pea (Abrus precatorius): Rose, Rosary, Pea, Abrus, Precatorius, Abru, Abrux, Catorius, Cator, Precator, Torius, Jequirity, Jequir, Jeq, Abri, Abrin, Abrix, Trop, Tropi, Tropical
Misc Others:
Bell, Bella, Lily, Valley, Vall, Val, Sweet, Sweets, Shade, Nightshade, Bella, Donna, Belladon, Bellux, Bellix, Belladonna, Dracunculus, Dracun, Cunculus, Draculus, Dracu, Tannin, Alum, Allium, Alli, Aril, Arils, Ackee, Citric, Citrus, Citrix, Citrux, Cyan, Cyano, Cyanogen, Ano, Anogen, Urushiol, Shiol, Urush, Uru, Urus, Urushi, Urushio, Shio, Cyanide, Cyani, Yanide, Yanid, Nid, Nide, Cya, Cyide, Rash, Lacquer, Lacq, Lac, Myristicin, Myr, Myris, Myriat, Ticin, Ristic, Risticin, Rist, Myrist, Myri
Oxalic, Rhub, Rhu, Rhubarb, Barb, Sour, Abrin, Abri, Abrix, Saponin, Adonidin, Aconitic, Adonid, Adoni, Adonis, Adonix, Aconit, Aconi, Linamarin, Lina, Lin, Linam, Marin, Rin, Nitril, Nitriles, Nitri, Tri, Tril, Triles, Hydrin, Vol, Volatile, Tile, Agglutination, Agglutin, Glutin, Glu, Agglu, Nephrotoxicity, Toxicity, Nephro, Corrosion, Corrosive, Corro, Wolfsbane, Monkshood, Bane, Aconitine, Nitine, Acon
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