#do look up the recommended reading order rather than reading in publication order tho

[i-cast-zone-of-truth]

So I just picked up another Vorkosigan book (having inhaled the first 8 or 9 books several months ago), and I dont know if it's that I've been away or that this series just keeps gaining momentum, but I am here to tell you the PLOTTING on these bad boys is THE TIGHTEST SHIT. Listen. Every time I pick up one of these books I underestimate it. somehow!!!! I say to myself "ah yes, this will be merely good." AND THEN IT KNOCKS MY SOCKS OFF. it's not just the plotting. It's the fact that this woman UNDERSTANDS PEOPLE SO GODDAMN GOOD. And she's like. Genuinely progressive about it. do NOT be fooled by the archaic language. she's got THE SPIRIT in a MAJOR way. And in my (huge metropolitan) library's app, where you borrow nothing without waiting 4-50 weeks, her stuff is TRAGICALLY always available. Please help me create hold times for these books! You'll thank me!!!

[phoebehalliwell]

what are your thoughts on thruples? cause I keep thinking about Paige/Henry/Coop, especially with Henry and Coop's epic bromance in the comics

ooh that could be very interesting. personally, i'm game for throuples (tho i will say i Hate the word throuple i think it sounds gross just like you know moist or something so i usually just say "poly relationship") but i do kind have beef when it's like. like you know the meme "it doesn't have to be like this [blank] has two hands"? funny meme i do like it but i hate when a poly relationship is just kinda an excuse to merge two couples rather than something that like emerges as distinct relationships between all three parties. like bella edward and jacob as a couple like. shure because bella loves edward and bella loves jacob but jacob and edward really don't like have anything there it's more like roommates who share a girlfriend rather than a poly relationship. one piece of media that i think really did it well was siren on freeform which i highly recommend the first two seasons it kinda goes off the rails s3 and then was cancelled but the first two season it really spends time fleshing out all aspects of the relationships between ben, ryn, & maddie and it also actually goes canon which is lit 🤙🤙

but basically. if i were to do a paige/henry/coop, i think i would start with specifically a paige/coop bromance introduce henry into the mix & let it blossom from there so like. as previously stated. i think each leg of the triangle here needs to be strong n steady on its own so um underneath the cut is i believe a record breaking 6.6k

rip richard but we'll say richard also died in this au rip. and then, of course, kyle also died. idk if he's a whitelighter or not but the point is paige has this weight on her chest like god i can't save these people i can't save the people i love ouch everything hurts

& that's when coop shows up!

and we'll have his introduction plot be a fusion of heartbreak city and the magic hour where coop's got this relationship and it's perfect they're so in love but there's this demonic interference and it's gonna kill one or both of them so he busts down the charmed ones' door like hi you guys are protectors of the innocent right well i have some innocents in dire need of protection

to which this duty gets turfed to paige because piper idk has work and phoebe has a date and phoebe's like i can cancel it to help! and coop's like what no the whole reason i'm here is love go go find love paige can totally handle this

and paige is like :| because she really doesn't want this gig and coop's explaining it all to her how this love is going to be broken up by a magical death unless they stop it and paige is like okay look here coop let's not get our expectations up to high because in my experience almost all relationships end in a magical death and coop’s like !!!

and immediately does like a cupid reading on her and paige is trying to bat him away like ew no i do not need any love guru-ing right now okay let’s just fix your thing and then you can leave okay

and coop’s like no don’t you see? this is fate, the fact that it’s you and me on this, it means i’m meant to be here, i’m meant to help you find love

and paige is like uh no it means piper’s a mother of two and phoebe’s on a date while i am the tragic spinstress of magic school (which is still under her charge just bc it is we didn’t abandon it)

and coop’s like nope. it’s fate. and paige rolls her eyes and coop’s like come on, like you don’t believe in fate and paige is like actually i don’t! and coop just smiles at her bc he knows she’s lying and paige knows she knows he’s lying and she tries to sneer at him but it’s just insanely half hearted bc to be honest her heart kinda skipped a beat with that smile but no

absolutely not

dude, all she gets is cursed love, and now a cupid?

she can’t go through all that she can’t fight for love only to watch him die no she’s gonna ignore it he’s not that cute anyways oh fuck he totally is but whatever!!! doesn’t matter

so blah blah blah paige and coop save the day including one moment where idk there’s an explosion or something they have to dodge something hide for attackers something where they get thrown up against a wall faces inches apart from each other breathing heavy undeniably a moment which they both Immediately break because wooooah that is a little too much chemistry!! better act like that never happened

and you know next episode or whatever coop’s like okay let’s find you love!! and paige is like not now i’m at work and coop’s like in an alleyway and paige is like i need to look after my charge and then after that i need to grade papers and after that i need to order cauldrons and after that-

and coop’s like find love?

and paige is like no. i need to.... but um she forgot the rest of her list

and coop’s like find love excellent sounds great!

and paige is like anyone ever tell you you’re really annoying and coop’s like nope i’m a cupid :0)

and blah blah blah they’re arguing and something something w paige’s charge and paige is like i gotta go talk to him but coop holds her back because wait who’s that approaching him and paige is like fuck that must be his parole officer bc idk he’s doing something that is obviously breaking parole and paige is like aaaaaaa what do we do and then it’s a henry face reveal and both paige and coop are like woah.

but then paige is storming off trying to like try to fight henry and henry’s like what the fuck is this?? and coop’s running up like hi i’m also here and speed’s like i-cannot stress this enough-do not know any of these people and coop’s like you don’t know us yet and paige is like you can’t do this speed’s a good kid and speed’s like yeah!!

and henry’s like he was so very obviously breaking parole and paige is like he’s a kid and henry’s like a kid who’s been to juvie!! twice!!! and who should know the damn rules by now

and paige is like look something something clever talk bargaining whatever puts something of her own at stake and henry’s like you’re really gonna risk it all on this kid and paige is like yes. he’s destined for greatness. and speed is like yeah!! and henry’s like fine. whatever. but when the other shoe drops, you know like i’m gonna cash in whatever wager paige made here

& he leaves

and speed’s like thanks also who are you and idk we get a paige monologue something full of love and spirit and coop’s also there still and speed’s listening to this monologue kinda like um okay bc honestly? just met her five minutes ago this is kind of a lot but coop’s listening to this monologue like wow😍

so idk speed leaves and coop’s like hey so do you pick a fight with all the guy’s you find attractive and paige is like what

and coop’s like well i’m just saying you know with richard with kyle with me and now with henry i’m kinda sensing a pattern there

and paige is like did you just include yourself on that list and coop’s like i mean yeah duh

and paige kinda wants to argue back but her blush is giving her away so it’s best just to change the subject so what you think i should be going for the parole officer?

and coop’s like yes! didn’t you feel it there was a spark there passion energy something that with the help of yours truly can easily turn into love and paige is like yeah no. absolutely not.

and coop’s like come on why not he was hot and paige is like yeah well if he’s so hot why don’t you date him and coop pauses like hmm like genuinely consider and paige is like don’t do that

and coop’s like why not and paige is torn between don’t date him because i actually did feel that spark and i do kinda like him and also don’t date him because if you’re gonna date anyone it should be me but both those are too embarrassing to say out loud to her cupid so instead she just says conflict of interest

and we flash forward to later idk when the point is speed is doing graffiti on public property but not just like stupid pointing a spray can at something la la la like proper graffiti like an artform but as it is unfortunately public property that is Illegal so it breaks parole

so idk henry’s there and busts him and paige senses speed’s in trouble so she shows up and henry’s like good you’re here. i’m not actually gonna cash in the thing that you wagered because that’d be unfair, because i know the kid, i know that he always let’s you down and speed’s like hey man

but paige is looking up at the wall and she’s like don’t you get it and henry’s like ...no and paige is like it’s art. it’s a release, it’s a coping mechanism and speed’s like idk that’s all sounding a little bit pretentious for a bit of graffiti and paige is like you can’t arrest him for this and henry’s like it’s literally illegal. & i already let him walk once what part of this aren’t you getting

and then there’s like a. idk cop radio thing i don’t know how police work that’s talking about how whatever gang speed used to run with just robbed some place but they’re hot on their tail bc their getaway driver sucks and henry’s looking at speed bc speed Is the getaway driver hence the name and henry’s like how come you aren’t driving that car huh

and speed just shrugs and henry’s like no how come you’re not driving that car what you swap out one crime for another you’re getting busted either way and speed like shrugs 

and paige is like he’s creating art instead and henry’s like did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speed shrugs and henry’s did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speeds like yes man they did i said no and henry looks up at the art

and it’s some super nail on the head craving freedom thing a bird breaking free from a cage type shit and it’s gorgeous

and henry looks at paige like what are you, huh

and paige is like freelance guardian angel

and henry just uncuffs speed and speed’s like what are you doing and henry’s like go. next time you do this find a wall that isn’t public property

and speed can’t help it he kinda smiles n runs off and henry just looks at paige bc what the hell has this girl gotten into him bc normally he’s just got such a concrete shell but she’s smiling at him like he just made the right choice and he’s really gotta fight the urge to smile back. what the fuck

so he says something stupid and leaves

and later paige is doing something when boom coop is here invading her personal bubble bc that’s become their new mode of communication is there are one thousand empty chairs and coop is seated in one paige will walk over and sit on that same chair that’s how they operate bc again there’s this sense of longing for one another and they both know they can’t go for it so instead they just opt for this intense intimacy passed off as friendship

and paige is like met the parole officer again and coop’s like oh henry mitchell? and paige is like how do u know his full name and coop’s like did my research<3 and they’re talking blah blah blah idk and it’s both how to land a date with this guy and also heavy flirting at the same time. and then like phoebe walks into the room and they snap apart like magnets with the same polarity i think?? been a while since the fifth grade and their language just becomes so much more stifled

to which phoebe is vaguely aware and this is a change but we as the audience are super aware it’s a change meaning that their constant flirty banter is a choice on both parts they are both very consciously doing this

and then i don’t know there’s something bigger going on in the main plot which has been building and the main villain needs something magical from each type of being so a cupid’s next on the grocery list so idk coop is either out minding his own business getting coffee or he’s out on reconnaissance on henry when all of a sudden he’s attacked!! by idk an arrow seems convenient honestly we should do a bow and arrow an homage to in original cupid iconography

and henry’s in proximity and sees this and idk maybe they’re somewhere where there aren’t that many people just so you know u can be attacked by a bow and arrow and henry’s like what the fuck!??!?! running over to help him and he vague recognizes him as the angel’s friend but is mainly like holy shit did you just get shot with a bow and arrow and henry’s like i’ll call an ambulance i’ll drive u to the hospital

and coop’s like no no uhh can’t go with the whole i am actually a magical being i exist in no databases and also have no money so instead goes with the i have no health insurance and henry’s like hmm. fuck.

so the next thing you know coop’s on henry’s couch and henry’s doing rudimentary first aid and coop’s really trying to hobble away because if he can just get to paige she can heal this because she unlocked that power in like s5 or s6 in a more natural progression but henry’s not letting him leave because dude you have an arrow in your chest

and now we’re doing the hurt comfort schtick with the meaningful glances and also coop is shirtless bc well you know Arrow In Chest and he’s also in henry’s apartment which is offering a very weird sense of intimacy

and there’s also this kind of banter going because coop’s like no i’m fine i can leave this is fine and henry’s like dude. please let me at least try to help you and after that you can walk right out of here and go repuncture your lung. but just. while you’re. let me do what i can

and coop’s like okay because like. well i mean a) gotta keep up appearances like he’s mortal and b) henry’s kinda fine so sure he can play doctor what’s the worse that can happen

and henry’s like okay we gotta get this arrow out of you so um. any ideas on how to do that? and coops like yeah break off the feathered part and then pull the rest through

and henry’s just like yeah? you have experience with this? and coop’s like once or twice and henry’s like what do you do?

and coop’s like ... relationship therapist

and henry’s like are relationship therapists frequently attacked by archers and coop’s like yeah more often than you’d think 

and henry removed the arrow and the actual point stabby bit of the arrow is shaped like a heart just for funsies bc it’s for cupids but henry’s looking at this like relationship therapist hunting arrow??

anyways. henry is pressing some bandages against coop’s chest to staunch the bleeding and there’s a Moment there to which henry kinda falters because woah gay thoughts?? and the pressure lightens but then o shit i’m lightening the pressure don’t do that!! so he pushes hard and coop’s like aa!! and henry’s like fuck jesus and coop just kinda laughs like i guess you don’t patch up arrow wounds that frequently and henry’s like yeah actually you’re my first!!

something something something coop’s patched up and henry gives him once of his shirts because coop’s shirt had to be cut off him bc of the arrow and we get one of the classic how to i look / starstruck moments because hell yeah we do

and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah coop makes it home and paige is like where in god’s name did u get that shirt bc it looks nothing like what coop would wear in fact in kinda reminds her of

believe it or not, henry

hot parole officer henry?

the one and only

and paige is like you slept with him??? and coop’s like close. i was shot with an arrow and he patched me up

and paige is like !!! because you know main plot evil all this that coop takes off henry’s shirt so paige can see the wound and heal it and she’s looking at henry’s handiwork and it really is the old college try but that man is not a medic so now paige is laying her hand on coop’s bare chest and phoebe walks in and immediately turns on a heel like i’ll give you guys some space!!

and paige is like no it’s fine i’m healing him he was shot main plot and phoebe’s like oh

and then later phoebe’s talking with paige like okay you and coop tho. bc like. ik ik healing or whatever. but like. 👀👀.

and tbh paige has been waiting for this because she really needs to unpack bc like i know!! because coop and i have this thing and it’s a great thing but it like can’t be a thing it’s a forbidden thing but i want it to be a thing but at the same time there’s this other guy and i can’t get him off my mind and i’m worried i’m just viewing him as a safer alternative instead of coop but like. idk he was just my backup i feel like i would be more lukewarm about it. but i’m not. like. i’m really not i kind wish i was because i don’t know if i can do a relationship again especially because he’s mortal like i can’t have someone i care for die again so maybe it’s safer just to keep what i have with coop or maybe even to explore that further? and keep henry safe? but like this and that and this and that

and phoebe’s like buzzing because it’s been a while since she’s had such an interesting love mess to tinker with so the first thing she does is go to coop just to see what she can sus out there Meanwhile paige is with speed where you ask? p3. well, outside of it

speed is painting the side of the club with this amazing artwork and clearly there’s this vein of magic running through it with certain symbols all that and he’s using paintcans and paige has her paintbrush and is adding smaller pieces as well

and she’s like hey where’d you get like that idea or thing idea because they’re all like. runes or magical somethings or others and speeds like idk. saw it in a dream maybe.

and henry rolls up because he stopped at the manor looking for paige and piper directed him here and he’s just like. like he sees this amazing work and it’s a big heart full moment and paige and speed finish up and speed adds his little signature at the bottom and leaves and henry says he’s proud of him and speed acts like he doesn’t care but he does

so henry’s like hey how’s your friend and paige is like coop? yeah, no he’s totally fine and henry’s like really???

and paige is like yeah no um. my brother in law! is an army medic. so um. he was able to. yeah : ) which isn’t technically a lie because leo was he’s just also kinda frozen in a block of ice now so whoops

and henry’s like that’s good but the real reason he’s her it to like thank paige for you know like. seeing the light like maybe henry has become too bitter and jaded so it’s good to know that there are freelance guardian angels out there keeping the balance and you know watching out for these kids so thank you for just like. being a good person.

and he also looks at her art and he’s like this your coping mechanism and paige is like yeah [tragic backstory swap time!!] and both paige and henry kinda realize how they’re like almost mirrors to each other and henry kisses her and paige kisses him back but then stops because she likes him too much which means he’s gonna die

so she’s like sry i gotta go and henry’s like oh :\ because um. well. whoops. because like. god he so rarely goes out on a limb like that and for one moment there it felt like it was all gonna align like he wasn’t gonna get ditched but paige’s green punchbuggy is already peeling out of the lot so guess not

so phoebe’s determined that coop is indeed in love with paige so all that needs is a little nudging okay she’s on mission time to go

and then next thing you know paige is storming in all in a tizzy because she kissed henry and coop’s like this is great news and paige is like no this is bad news! and coop’s like ???

and paige is like no you don’t understand it’s like i’m cursed because whenever i love someone whenever i truly love someone they die and that kiss....... it was..... i can’t have henry die

and coop is like on full cupid mode idk a cupid monologue blah blah blah love <3 and it kind of heals paige both in a sense that it quells her worries but also in a sense that being around coop always seems to make her feel better like she just feels warmer feels safer when he’s around so um. she should probably. figure something out about that. esp in regards to henry. right?

anyways. coop for some reason or another runs into henry again (call it fate) and henry’s like hey r u okay? and coop’s like yeah : ) ! and thank you, by the way, for um patching me up and stuff and henry’s like yeah no problem but um look can i ask you a favor and coop’s like sure

and henry’s like you’re a relationship therapist right and coop’s like yeah 99% sure he knows where this is going and henry’s like like family and relationship counselling and coop’s now only like 40% sure he knows where this is going and he’s like sure and henry’s like great okay so um i’ve got this parolee who [plot background story idk there needs to be some familial healing something or other] is there like. anyway you can help out with that

and coop’s like totally!! and henry’s like oh thank god because like. therapy expensive.

and now we get another one of those moments like seeing someone in their element henry sees coop as he goes basically full cupid but rather than romantic love it’s familial and henry’s like in awe and he’s also kind like wow okay i’d totally make out with that guy like right now but like. like he just kissed paige. and he knows coop and paige are friends. so like. like he can’t do that right? is that too weird?

so family therapy a success and like as established forging bonds of love strengthens cupids so coop’s like word you know if you ever need this on a more regular basis and henry’s like i promise you’re gonna regret offering that and coop’s like not a chance and henry’s like i really have like nothing to pay you with and coop’s like you make these kids lives better. i don’t need payment and henry looks over and gets is Own aha moment of oh i do have a purpose and also i love my job type thing

but. there is another task at hand. because like. are you and paige?? like??

and coop’s like me and paige??? and he’s about to say no because no they’re not but now he’s thinking about it and they are kinda more than they are not but henry’s not asking about the minutiae of it so now henry’s just watching him go on this face journey before going why do you ask : ) and henry’s like no nothing i just thought like well i don’t know what i thought

and coop’s like haha yeah well you know it’s um. haha yeah! you know how it is. i mean. paige is amazing and henry’s like yeah she really is and coop’s like yeah and like she’s just got all this love in her heart and henry’s like i know!! and she’s so smart like you should see what she’s done with speed she got him this place where he can put up his own art and like blah blah blah and at this point it is just coop and henry praising paige to each other for about five minutes before they kinda realize what’s going on and they’re like hmm. well this is kinda weird. cuz now we both kinda sound in love with her.

and coop’s like listen. i know paige really likes you. like a lot

and henry’s like woah i’m gonna stop you there because um. like. i mean i don’t wanna sound weird but like. like we did kiss and then she kinda just ran off and i mean literally ran hopped into her car drove away type thing so. i don’t really think so. so :\

and coop’s like no i mean like okay yeah that did happen but dude you’ve gotta understand she’s had so much loss and henry’s like no i know she told be about her parents and coop’s voice gets real low leans in because this is Top Secret information and he’s like it goes beyond that and henry’s like what and coop’s like her past two boyfriends both died. one from a heart attack, the other was hit by a car (well, no richard was not hit by a car but when all the magic inside you fucks you up that bad evidently the wreck that’s left kinda looks like you were hit by a semi. ouch) and coop’s like so paige kinda just. thinks she’s cursed.

and henry’s like oh. because my god. that’s a lot to process. and that like. like makes so much sense because like if that happened to him he really wouldn’t be able to date again hell that did not happen to him and he’s already barely able to date bc of how afraid he is of getting hurt

but coop’s out here like henry it’s not you like i promise she really likes you i mean you’re a good man and you’re brave and you’re passionate and like you’re hot, obviously and coop theoretically starts complimenting henry from paige’s point of view but then it very clearly starts to dissolve into coop’s pov and we’re still riding that chemical high of the In Your Element passion henry has for coop added onto the good person bonus of yes i’ll continue to help you with this endeavor for literally no benefit and now he’s just rattling off compliments to henry and henry’s just like oh jeez 😳😳🥰

and there’s just like. the briefest moment of henry’s eyes darting down to coop’s lips and coop’s daze is kinda broken and he realizes that he’s just been telling henry how foioine he is to his face and there’s a moment spellbound lookin into each others eyes like damn this is kinda gay & then they’re making out

and then henry’s like ohhh my god what am i doing what have i done oh know because you’re paige’s friend you like paige and i kissed her earlier today and now i’m oh my god this is a bad idea right? this is a bad idea?

and coop’s thinking on it because like okay he has been trying to pair paige and henry together a) because they’d be cute together and she clearly likes him but also b) because he really likes her and he can’t be with her bc he’s a cupid so at least if she’s with someone else who she loves he can be happy knowing she’s happy. but now he’s here with henry and he shouldn’t be because Again he’s trying to pair paige with henry and he can’t be with henry bc as previously stated cupids can’t actually have relationships but he shouldn’t even be thinking that because henry isn’t for him but even if he was which he isn’t it wouldn’t work because he’s a cupid so um. yeah. this is a bad idea

yeah

yeah

no they’re makin out again.

anyways. l8r at p3 someone else who owns a local business sees the art on the wall outside and is like yo who did that because i would totally pay them to do idk my food truck or something and piper’s like i’ll tell u exactly who did that

so idk i think legally since speed’s a minor and a parolee henry has to be involved in the job getting process actually wait speed just turned 18. idk what any of this means but we’ll say henry needs to be there so piper gave paige the food truck guys digits and paige passes on the news to speed and henry and like. paige shows up at henry’s office to be like good news!!

and to level with you henry thought that like. after making out with coop maybe his feeling for paige would dissipate like maybe he was secretly gay this whole time and paige was just a safe route to project those feeling but paige comes in with this smile that puts the goddamn stars to shame and henry’s like nope!! still in love with her!!

and paige is like okay because like this is all set you know like this could even lead to a career in art for speed like and henry’s like yes absolutely but now that the initial glow of that has worn off they’re both kinda remembering that the last time they saw each other they kissed and then paige bolted so yeah they should probably address that

and paige is like look i want to apologize for just kind of. running out the other day. that really wasn’t. it wasn’t right and i know this sounds dumb but it really wasn’t about you i’m just i’ve been in this weird place and i do like you henry like i really do so i don’t want you to think 

and henry’s like i feel like i kind of apologize too because i kinda made out with your friend and paige pauses because like she really has no friends well i guess besides coop but like there’s and henry tacks on coop to clarify and paige just snorts laughing

like she has no idea why that’s so funny but it just kinda is like. what!!

and henry’s like yeah but it was like. it’s. he really likes you paige he really does care for you i mean i really care for you too and henry’s kind of playing both sides here because he does like. really like paige. and that’s why he wants her to be happy and it’s her choice who she feels who she’d be most happy with whether that’s hm or coop because honestly coop is p amazing henry wouldn’t be burnt losing to him because coop is a great guy and paige is just watching him ramble smiling and henry realizes he doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore so he just kind of trails off and gets kind of lost in paige’s smile because like. wow : )

and paige is just kind of there processing that information because um wow who could have seen this coming and honestly she’s still not over coop kissing henry that’s just so unbelievable entertaining to her she’s so gonna hafta prod coop about it later because dude what?? what? bro. bro. bro. like. like the two guys she’s in love with kissed like bro what!!!! lmao she would pay money to see that how tf did that happen. she would have loved to have been there. that’s insane. she really wished she was there. like. really wished she was there. hmm. should she stew on that a little more?

and henry’s like. this is awkward. i’m sorry. i don’t want things to be weird between us. and paige is like henry i think things have been weird between us since i first picked an argument with you in an alleyway. and henry’s like true!! and they’re laughing and there’s a beat and henry’s like i think i fell in love with you in that moment. and paige is like yeah?

and henry’s just. i mean like. look at her <3 but like. she deserves. like she deserves the best there is and he’s just some guy like some jaded hardass who lives in a crappy apartment and who always forgets how to do the right thing it seems not to mention all his fucking baggage like. she deserves better. 

and paige sees him kinda retreat and like she kind of pulls out of the moment too because she loves henry she does but like that fear that he’s gonna die is still there and she wants to fight it she just doesn’t know if she can but like. she really really does like him.

and now they’re both standing there again another moment turned to dust in the wind now they’re just two people standing there incredibly normal about it yep just two people nope paige is kissing henry ope okay yep they’re making out and boom someone’s knocking on henry’s office door o quick act natural because hi henry heard you needed like the legal paperwork because speed’s getting a job here you go and henry’s like 👍 thank you very obviously flushed and his coworker is like. what the fuck is going on in that office. but like. doesn’t really care enough to find the answer to that question.

so paige is like you should come to p3 l8r tonight to like celebrate speed getting a job blah blah blah blah and henry’s like i will be there

so later paige is getting dolled up in a fire outfit just adding the final touches when coop shows up bc phoebe said you needed to see me? (with phoebe’s strategy fully being in mind that paige looks hella fly right now but also is still in the manor an area paige and coop have kind of curated as their space also like once she goes to p3 it’s simply too loud too crowded to have a heart to heart like what is about to happen here which she would listen all unfold but piper unfortunately dragged her away to help with the boys but i’m sure it’s all going well)

and paige is like ....nope. and coop’s like ah. well. you look great. going to see henry? which he asks that question like he’s walking on very thin ice and paige is like yeah and i gotta say i can’t believe you kissed henry before you ever kissed me and coop just laughs like well!!

and paige is laughing too but there’s this undercurrent of you still haven’t kissed me :/ and coop’s like i take it henry told you and paige is like yep. and then made a very convincing campaign in your favor on how you’re evidently in love with me and you’re probably my better option, he loves me, too, but just can’t seem to hold a candle to you

and coop’s laughing and he’s like that sounds like something henry’d say, he’s really. he’s got a lot of love he just doesn’t seem to think he’s worth it.

and paige is like you think he’s worth it though

and coop’s like i do. you think he’s worth it too. and paige is like i do.

and there’s a moment of stillness because what the fuck are any of them doing and paige is like we can’t keep doing this. and coop’s like gonna hafta be a bit more specific there because i think i’ve broken more rules than i can count in the past 24 hours. and paige is wanna make that one more and coop’s like !? and then paige kisses him and coop’s like okay now’s the time where i would really love some clarification

and paige is like. well. i had to kiss you, right? and coop’s like sure? and paige is like because i’ve wanted to for the longest time because i keep pretending like i’m not in love with you because well you know you know me better than almost anyone else but like. i also love henry. and so i had to kiss you. as a test.

and coop’s like ...did i pass?

and paige is like that wasn’t the test and coop’s like what was and paige is like i don’t know. to see where my love is. to see if i love you or if i love henry or if it’s all just infatuation and relfections distorting how i feel and coop’s like okay. so... what’s the answer?

and paige is like i love henry. but then she kisses coop again and is like but i think i love you, too. and they’re doing that thing where they lack bubble space when they talk i mean paige’s head is basically on his chest and coop’s hands are on her waist and coop’s like okay. so where do you want to go from here.

because he’s a cupid you know his top priority is love in its purest form so if like paige’s love for henry like outweighs her love for him he will pretend not to be crushed and move on like he will. he’s saying he’ll do anything in the name of love but really he’ll just do anything for paige.

and paige is like i think you should kiss henry again and coop laughs and he’s like don’t joke about that because complete candor i totally would he is... amazing

and paige is like yeah, i know, and i’m not joking and it kind of clicks for coop like !! polyromanticism!!

anyways. paige And coop go to p3 and henry’s there and sees paige And coop and he’s like uh oh oh no because if paige chose coop like he’s happy for them he really is except he’s also kind of not because then he kind of loses paige And coop and um. that’s kind of a two hit KO. but wait!! that is not the case! what’s this??

anyways. quirky hijinks of sorts when phoebe sees that paige came home with henry and she’s like damn. my plan failed. and the next morning piper’s like i see ur plan worked and phoebe’s like yeah no need to rub it in and piper’s like ??? dude paige totally hooked up with coop last night and phoebe’s like no?? that was the other guy that was henry

and piper’s like that was definitely coop?? and phoebe’s like piper not every tall man with dark hair looks the same and piper’s like no shit do you think i don’t know what coop looks like he practically lives here and phoebe’s like yeah that’s how i know the guy paige brought home w her was Not Coop and piper’s like do you need new glasses and phoebe’s like shut up i’m right and piper’s like no ur not!!

and later that day they’re like. all brewing a potion in the attic and like while we have you here...... did you hook up with henry or coop last night and phoebe’s like because piper thought it was coop when i very clearly saw henry and piper’s like yeah phoebe hasn’t been sleeping well lately i think she’s started seeing things so go ahead prove me right and paige is just laughing like okay so i guess i gotta introduce u guys to my 2 boyfriends

[oliviasugarbabe]

i hope im not bothering you, but im a fandom writer and im greatly interested in the sugar baby lifestyle, so i was hoping to ask a few questions! is the stereotypical lifestyle of a sugar baby exaggerated or is it genuinely like that for some? is there something that most people don’t understand about with the relationship and what goes on, or is it as simple as it is portrayed in the media? do you have any tips when writing about being a sugar baby? thank you very much, i appreciated it! 💓

Not at all babe! I haven’t made a post like this yet so let me just write out a whole response about this stuff! I have lots to say to bear with me haha. I know you’re asking for your writing but I get constant questions about if sugaring is really this easy great glamorous thing from those thinking about doing it so I’m just gonna cover it all. 

 Yes the stereotypical lifestyle of a sugar baby is exaggerated, it’s not as simple as hopping on an app and getting a date with a reasonably attractive older man who will shower you with money and gifts for nearly nothing in return. I always tell girls this! It looks more like being active on multiple apps/sites and/or freestyling. It looks like hours upon hours on your phone perfecting your profiles, chatting with men who often will be time-wasters with no intention of spoiling you, and tons of dates with time-wasters too. Also, hours of screening men to make sure they’re legit. An insane amount of grooming yourself. Nails, hair, waxing/shaving, teeth whitening, exfoliating, moisturizing, soft feet, gym, perfume, makeup, cute lingerie, not getting the tattoo you want, even perhaps fillers and plastic surgery (I have tattoos and no surgery and I’m not skinny, but I know I’m giving up lots of rich older traditional men by looking this way) Having a spreadsheet to keep track of the lies you tell to each man (honestly that part is fun for me tho) and just way more work than you’d think from the popular stereotype. 

Lots of men won’t give you the money you want, and it can take a long time to find a guy who will and you might not even like him. Sugaring also includes fucking old, wrinkly men like a porn star and 100% making them think you love it. They’ll do weird shit like lick your whole face and you gotta pretend that’s fine too. These are rich, often white, privileged men from a generation and brotherhood that often look down on women and you have to fake the correct personality with each one. Can you drop everything to travel with him? Can you come up with a lie for your parents/roommates/friends? Can you say “no” to bareback sex in a cute way? Answer his call/text when you’re in bed and just wanna be left alone with Netflix? Ask for money without being nervous? Can you keep the conversation going on a date if he’s boring and awkward as hell? Giggle when he shits on your generation and other women? Not feel guilty about his wife he’s cheating on? Lie to everyone you know? Read on the internet about how disgusted some people are about what you do for money? Be seen with him in public? Be spotted by someone you know? Sure, these things are technically optional; you can just refuse every man who isn’t perfect, but a lot of women on here are afraid to talk about the fact that when you’re doing this because you need money, there are often tradeoffs and boundaries crossed in order to get paid, because that’s what sex work often is. I think it’s glamorized a lot and that ultimately hurts sex workers. I need breaks sometimes when I can’t take it anymore and I don’t have a current “main” daddy. Sex work has also done serious damage to my desire to EVER be in a normal relationship with a man, get married, or have kids. I already pretty much hated men but now I hate them more lmao. 

Lastly, like any sex worker, you perhaps will have to live with the constant risk of being outed to your family and friends, and the risk of having one of these men do something horrible to you. 

But yes, some girls DO live that lifestyle we dream of but it’s rare and hard to find and these women are often models or at least look like ones, live in the right cities, have the right connections, etc and just have access to that shit in ways that I don’t and many women don’t. Privilege still shows its face in the sugar bowl! Truthfully, there’s generally, for most of us, more money in escorting. Way more payoff for your time. I’d rather just have sex and leave with my hourly rate than spend all this time and energy being a whole girlfriend most of the time if I’m being honest. 

As for what the relationships are like, refer to the details above lol! Aside from that I should say I’ve had some good relationships but they’re men like any other. I deal with neediness, clinginess, condescension, etc a lot. They’ll flake on dates. Resist spending money just when you thought they might be a serious daddy. And again, it’s not just about being young and attractive. You usually also have to be interesting, smart but not too smart, sexy but not slutty, fuck like a porn star, confident, and sometimes, not show much that you’re a real person. Like, you can cry in front of a real boyfriend. If you cry in front of your sugar daddy, you might get dropped like a hot potato. You know what I mean? Be a perfect girl on his arm, or he’ll find someone else. Some daddies are good men sure and not like this, but still, lots of sugar daddies are part of a certain lifestyle and attitude and they expect something specific in return for their money. 

Lastly, writing about sugaring and sex work is something I do for fun and to be a part of my own community and to give honest word about sex work. I think that writing about sex work is best left to sex workers. Fandom writing is fun and harmless tho! If you’re gonna write about us, you made a good start finding someone who is actually in that world to ask about it! Sex workers write books and blogs about this life and I recommend finding them. There are a lot of inaccurate, shitty, harmful portrayals of us out there and I hope you do whatever you can to not contribute to that! Although....if you’re writing a sexy fanfic or something I feel like it’s fine either way cause I’ve gotten hot and bothered by all kinds of severely problematic wattpad stories and such so like. Anyways, if you want me to keep helping you, you can DM me and I’ll answer your random writing questions. I understand completely why people are drawn to writing about sugar baby lifestyles, it’s just not always what they wanna hear. I hope your piece comes out good! I’d love to read it if you wanna share eventually! 

[notjanine]

2018 pop culture ranked

(highly subjective!)

MOVIES:

10. hotel artemis- everyone who didn’t like this movie is wrong. i know they advertised it as a john wick, but it’s not and that’s okay! accept it as-is, and it’s Good.

9. sorry to bother you- do i really need to explain

8. hereditary- i’m STILL mad at those last ten minutes for scaring me! toni collette is god

7. overlord- exactly what i wanted it to be. gross and fun! uglass wyatt russell COULD

6. the favourite- pls never let yorgos lanthimos write a movie ever again just stick to directing good scripts buddy!! bc i loved this!

5. spider-man: into the spider-verse- lissen. i know this should be higher. it’s near perfect. but

4. mission: impossible- fallout- i’m glad tom cruise has some weird danger fetish so he keeps making these. and that bathroom fight?? i’m still [redacted]

3. widows- name one flaw in this movie, i’ll wait.

okay okay okay. we all know what belongs at the top of this list. we all know what the best movie of the year was. but. it’s so close for me i’m gonna call it a tie

1. black panther- obviously

1. U P G R A D E - the first fight scene alone is better than every other movie on this list? give lmg an oscar for this; he’s got a Face and he USES it. and the cinnamontography?? what even is everyone else doing with cameras?? fling them shits around to make it look cool ppl. NOTE: i went into this movie knowing only -not tom hardy is in it -something about cyborgs. that’s it. don’t watch the trailer. go in knowing as little about it as possible. as a matter of fact, forget everything i’ve said about it up til this point. blacklist it on here bc i’m gonna post about it more. just watch it.

honorable mentions: the night comes for us (hot), game night (fun, and better than it needs to be!), ant-man and the wasp (hella bad science, but i enjoyed it a lot anyway???), death of stalin (iannucci), pacific rim: uprising (boyega is a star. eastwood is a good token white guy. A+ villainy tbh)

ALBUMS:

(not including scores/soundtracks!)

10. starcrawler - starcrawler - cut the sleeves off your t shirts, let your black nail polish chip, don’t clean your apartment for a couple days, put this on and channel your inner amanda brotzman

9. nobody’s watching - steady holiday - i know we’re all sick of whisper-singing breathy ingenues, but she’s my fave okay. 

8. prisma tropical -  balún - don’t you wanna feel like you’re in like a digital caribbean dreamscape??

7. dirty computer - janelle  monáe - again, i know this should be higher, but. it just doesn’t have the hit rate i want it to. does have some instant classics tho. miss monáe invented pussy with pynk and we have to respect that

6. isolation - kali uchis - She!!! this album is a PARTY

5. 7 - beach house - when black car comes on my consciousness instantly leaves my body to undulate in some dark starlit ether until lose your smile gradually brings me back to earth but i’m only approximately 60% corporeal until last ride finishes and i go to bed (yeah this is a nighttime album only)

4. soil - serpentwithfeet - bruh i was like six months late to this but holy shit. like multiple times during my initial listen i had to be like HE REALLY. when he said “i’m annoyed with clothes today / i’d rather swaddle myself in sorrow today” i FELT that

3. smote reverser - oh sees - jams all the way down

2. tu - alien weaponry - BANGERS ALL THE WAY DOWN

1. hive mind - the internet - morgan rhodes said this whole album makes you wanna rollerskate and that’s it. that’s the feeling. so good. smooth. fun. perfect.

honorable mentions (be the cowboy (i know, i know), acrylic, saturn, the hex, el mal querer, mozaik, the calling, double negative)

BONUS- EPs: (all of these would’ve made in into the top ten if they counted as full albums)

- the beauty of everything pt. 1 - alex isley - what a follow up to luxury!! i put this on in the morning a lot, set a good vibe for the day.

- conexão - amber mark - so good so good. this is a self-care soundtrack. put it on. light some candles. do a face mask. take a bath. braid your hair.

- crush - ravyn lenae - bops on bops. listening to this makes me feel like a girl in a way that is inexplicable??? like night song comes on and i’m. oh yeah! being a girl IS good and fun!

BOOKS:

(these are NOT all from this year, but i didn’t actually read many from this year, so this is just ~1/3 of what i did read, my faves, and the order’s only kind of correct, i didn’t put a ton of thought into ranking them but)

10. the shadowed sun by n.k. jemisin - loved it, but has one trope i HATE.

9. the hundred thousand kingdoms by n.k. jemisin - loved it. and the whole naha thing... made me feel some type of way (that #5 reinforced)

8. consider the fork by bee wilson - look. it’s a book about kitchen utensils. not for everyone. but i thoroughly enjoyed it.

7. the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson - oh man!!! spooky (idk why but my brain automatically fancast eleanor - nikki amuka bird, theo - tessa thompson, luke - billy magnussen)

6. don’t panic by neil gaiman - i read it THROUGH getting a tattoo. like lying in an uncomfortable position, exposed in a public space, with lots of people chatting and loud music. it’s that interesting and amusing (esp considering it was written before the trilogy was finished). but i’m a douglas adams nerd.

5. all but the bloody mouth by becca de la rosa - i read this all in one sitting on a rainy day when i should have been doing other things but i could not put it down. and i cried and i don’t even know why?? p sure i just got possessed by a swamp demon or something. would recommend

4. kindred by octavia butler - auntie octavia was that bitch

3. of things gone astray by janina matthewson - i would literally die for this woman. between this book and wtw she’s gotten more individual shoutouts in my gratitude journal than any other person (i think she’s second only to gus for 2018) (seriously though listen to within the wires s1 might be my single favorite piece of fiction in the universe)

2. the killing moon by n.k. jemisin - this is everything i want a fiction book to be i think. i forced myself to slow down on this just to enjoy it for longer.

1. the cooking gene by michael twitty - i would make this book into a horcrux. 

honorable mentions: alice isn’t dead (great monsters!), gulp (gross but cool), the patternmaster series (wild seed is my FAVE, but i read that one last year), sing unburied sing (ghosts), children of blood and bone (fantasy!), the shadow cabinet (the shades of london is my ya guilty pleasure i just fucking love ghosts okay and the first one is legitimately Scary)

[ythmir-writes]

it’s probably been done but lemme just add to it so here we go

SUITORS AND sort ofmaybe HELPING YOU STUDY

right.

Leo Crawford - being an actual, living and breathing encyclopedia, Leo is the person you want for objective type questions. Great help when it comes to last minute tips since he can give answers to random questions popping in your head. Probably can win gameshows back to back but doesn’t want the publicity. Can’t remember the distance to the sun? When exactly was it that Carthage got burned? That very specific provision of the tax law regarding exemptions given to corporations employing people with disabilities? He knows it all, and then some. Helps you make flashcards for better memory skills. THE PERSON YOU WANT TO STAY UP LATE WITH because srsly Leo get some sleep. The person everyone goes to after exams so he makes it a point to finish early and escape. Don’t ask how he remembers so much information in his head; he’ll quiz you and you might get distracted because with every wrong answer, you owe him a kiss 

Louis Howard - best study buddy ever because he calms down your nerves. You see him poring over the materials and all you can think of is that must be how gods look at sacred texts. That, and whenever you can’t understand something he explains it in a way that makes it easily understandable (or is it because of his voice?) Motivates you always to give 100 percent in everything because his very existence is inspiring. Almost always ready to go with you to a cafe to study. Avoids the library like the plague (because too many students) Sends you motivational quotes over social media. Probably snacks on healthy food and gives you some because they say it helps. Unfortunately, HE IS NOT the one you want to sit next to when it’s actually exams. Chiller than the airconditioning that’s making you sweat. Doesn’t even sweat even when answering ridiculously long math questions. Amazing.

Sid - He’s almost always in your face but conveniently disappears whenever you’re in study mode. As a matter of fact, almost completely leaves you alone whenever you’re at your desk, except to check on you that you aren’t forgetting to eat or drink or relax. Actually quite nurturing when hell week is just around the corner. Makes a wicked cocktail that he swears doesn’t contain uppers but you’re very very focused after a good night sleep. Very prone to placing random snacks on your table which may also contain random sample questions to help you prepare. Scoffs at you when you feel down because you haven’t finished reviewing - and the next day suddenly a summary of important points is at your table waiting to be read. ABSOLUTELY THE PERSON you want to approach if you want materials - whatever those materials may be: annotated notes from last year’s valedictorian, powerpoint presentations from a professor who doesn’t want his laptop touched, sample exams and suggested answers dating back to 20 years ago, that one book your professor swears by but has gotten out of print? He’s got you covered. 

Giles Christophe - Probably will scold you a bit for not sticking to a study schedule but will help you cram (not recommended). Even in this AU, it is very much discouraged to have him help you cram because you feel like your brain is going to explode with the info overload. BUT has notes for everything. Everything. The entire textbook has been annotated by him. IT IS A MESS tho. No sentence was left unhighlighted. Even has notes of his own notes. Has notes of other people’s notes. Has notes for professor’s notes even, with scribbled emojis and recommendations on how to improve them. Gives you very good sample questions that feel like they’ve been plucked straight from national exams. The kind of well-crafted questions that you hate because it took you 30 mins to answer each bloody hypothetical problem, but will be grateful for because it was a really good question and it appeared in the exams - whaaaaa? YES GILES HAS 90% ACCURACY at predicting questions it’s infuriating and also super helpful for practice tests. Sometimes you wonder how he’s able to do it. Has an annoying (but super convenient)  way of knowing exactly what the teacher wants to read on the essay questions since he gets near perfect points for everything and he didn’t even get the answer right and you kindofhateithimforit. 

Byron Wagner - study? what study? Or rather, when is Byron bloody Wagner not studying?? What we call study is actually leisure for him - have you seen him do anything except read and stare at the stars communicating with the Elder GOds? NOPE. The person you want to stick with at the VERY BEGINNING OF THE SEMESTER because his work ethic will put you to shame. The kind of student you wished you were, which helps you get motivated and also maybe partially depressed; because can he please tone down on the prodigy aura? And what do you mean you didn’t even highlight your books?? Engages in long hours of discussion with Leo about certain topics; probably tag-teams with Leo and Giles to debate with professors too. Has a certain knack of breaking down difficult theories into bite-sized chewable paragraphs. That, and he never shoves it in your face that you should do better (take a hint, Giles) Srsly. Stick with him to the very bitter end. Will splurge and treat you when you show him how much you’ve improved. Will still splurge even if you didn’t. Byron is happy you’re trying and believes all effort will bear fruit.

Nico Meier - very very very enthusiastic when you declared that it’s start of hellweek and you need to get down and dirty. Did not actually get the memo that you meant down and dirty with academics. Was very confused when you showed up in PJs with stacks of papers you ordered from Sid. Is constantly hovering to tell you you need to take a break. Always volunteers to make you tea and snacks. Helps you shopping for stationery, pens, sticky-notes - all the ammunition you need for studying because he knows all the sweet spots: thrift stores, quaint coffeeshops to spend 12 hours in, 24 hour hobbyshops that get quiet past midnight so you can hole up in a room without a bed. Very very very helpful in everything sans the actual studying because he’s actually a very loud learner: memorizes things out loud, has hilarious/scandalous mnemonics for every goddamn enumeration there is, listens to recorded lectures without moving a muscle; sends you memes in the middle of the night about how time will pass but WILL YOU??? You study with him and you’ll end up laughing how he comes up with all the fun. It’s hellweek, you should be crying but Nico just knows how to cheer you up to your core. 

Albert Bruckhardt - went to seminars on how to curate schedules and has an ENTIRE MASTERPLAN dedicated to helping you ace the exam. Ohboy, get ready to have your entire life study schedule re-arranged for the sake of the coveted passing grades. Leaves you wondering how little you know of time management and your own schedule. Is very strict during study sessions, and knows you have a soft spot when he smiles and uses it against you thesneakylittle . HAS APPS FOR EVERYTHING. AN EMBODIMENT OF what is good in studyblr community. Doesn’t take it too seriously if it took you extra hours before being able to finish a review? No problemo, Al’s already got a plan B. And C. And D. Seriously, this man can run a multi-billion corporation on his own.  You learn the meaning of preparation, and he’s living the lifestyle. After the exams, you feel like you’ve fundamentally changed as a person godbless

Robert Branche - heavensent because he’s tutored you before and knows your strengths and weakness. That, and his part-time job as a tutor has helped honed his teaching skills to an art form. Whenever he’s tutoring you, you feel like you’ve just enrolled in another academy all of a sudden. Patient. Kind. Understanding. Knows how to push you without pushing too hard because he knows you’ve already got enough on your plate and just wants to be supportive. Leaves random handwritten messages in your notes to help you smile. Somehow knows whenever you’re in a slump and listens as you rant AND GIVES YOU good advice too. Makes sure none of the younger boys interrupt or get in your way when you’re on study-mode. ACTUALLY ADMITS things when he doesn’t know them and makes it a point that both of you learn together but those instances are far and few in-between. You know Robert is on the top of his class but the question is, you’ve never actually seen Robert hit the books since he’s almost always at the art club. HOW????? 

Alyn Crawford - the only sane person in the entire world whom you feel like you connect with because both of you are normal compared to the eight other men. He’s got acads troubles just like you do - I mean it’s not because he’s more inclined to home economics or because he’s not as smart but it’s just that he cannot be bothered. HAS A SURPRISING LAZY SIDE when it comes to acads. He’s like your comrade and the academics are the Enemy. STILL VERY SUPPORTIVE. Will listen to you ramble because he knows you learn better when you try to explain things to other people - and please he’d really rather you explain it to him than to anyone else. Loves cooking for you whenever both of you are up for a long night. Loves cooking for you, just because. His coffee is not as good as his twin’s but hey, it’ll do and seriously, with the two of you throwing questions at each other, staying awake is the least of your worries. Like his twin, Alyn loves contests and that’s what makes studying with him unique. For every wrong answer, a household chore is gonna fall on your shoulders. That or a set of push-ups or shooting hoops. Because physical activity helps memory?? PLEASE. You’re skeptical but Alyn isn’t backing down and hubris isn’t letting you back away either. 60% of the time both of you are goofing off and Leo and Louis act as referees, shouting sample questions from Sid and Giles at the sidelines; until Giles calls all of you over because guys, you’re not getting any studying done. AT ALL.

[dragimalsdaydreams]

so I’ve been wanting to write up my take on ‘werefolk’ for a while, but haven’t rly felt the inspiration to do so until recently when a certain someone got me into reading Teen Wolf fanfic even tho I don’t watch the show lmfa o

my biggest problems w/ most interpretations of werefolk are 1) that the human parts of these creatures must constantly ‘battle’ their ‘primal’ sides (fuck anthropocentricism honestly), and 2) there’s usually very weak explanation for how werefolk came to be in the first place.

my take on werefolk is that they’re actually fusions of two separate, individual beings, rather than a human with nonhuman “side-effects”

~Table of Contents~

Terms

Initial Fusion

Species Involved

Melding

Reproduction and Inheritance

Shifting

Consciousness

Random Facts

~Terms~

Fusion- when used as a noun, this refers to an organism composed of two separate beings. this is the term I will exclusively be using here, though there are plenty of other terms for Fusions. “Werefolk” (singular: “Were”) is the next most common term, though it is more dated (not necessarily derogatory, merely old). older Fusions are more likely to embrace “Werefolk” as a label, while younger Fusions usually only do so ironically or among elders. more specific “Were-” labels like “Werewolf”, “Weretiger”, etc. vary by community, and some will prefer the broader Werefolk/Fusion over specific labels, or vis-versa. it all depends on the culture and history surrounding that particular Fusion community, as well as individual preferences. “shape-shifter” is simply considered juvenile and not taken seriously by most Fusions.

Meld- the level of metaphysical fusion between the two beings contained within a Fusion, ranging from, “two completely individual beings,” to, “one fully meshed being”. despite popular assumption, this term is used to measure mental ‘meshing’ across generations, not within an individual Fusion’s lifetime. this will be explained in more detail in the ‘Melding’ section.

Partners vs. Phases- these terms refer to each ‘side’ of a Fusion’s being. either term could be more correct depending on the generation of Fusion and level of meld (again, this will be elaborated on in the ‘Melding’ section). preferred term varies by individual, though most Fusions are fine with either.

Shift/Flip/Switch- the action of changing from one partner/phase in a Fusion to another. all three terms are used interchangeably by most Fusions, but here I’ll primarily be using “shift”. “in-shift” will refer to the phase/partner who is currently in primary control of the Fusion, while “out-shift” will refer to the phase/partner who isn’t currently in primary control of the Fusion. 

~Initial fusion~

the act of fusion creates what are called ‘initial’ or ‘1st gen’ Fusions. their offspring may be numbered by generation afterwards, and are automatically born Fusions (thus, do not participate in the act of fusion to come into existence).

fusion is the closest possible bond on a physical and metaphysical level. few are ready to undertake this intensive process, but the reward—if performed properly—is euphoric for both parties involved.

trust and determination are absolute requirements for this process to work. if these aren’t present, the process will not initiate. similarly, consent from both sides is required, or the process will not initiate—a forced fusion is utterly impossible. essentially, fusion requires equal spiritual energy given by both partners, and if this isn’t the case, it simply can’t work.

Pre-fusion

the act of fusion is an incredibly intensive process that requires much mental/physical prepwork. if done carefully and correctly, fusion shouldn’t result in much lasting injury beyond the act besides some unavoidable mental/physical bruising.

on the mental front, those participating in a fusion must meditate and calm their minds several weeks before the act, working on syncing their minds and souls all the while. physically, each partner must bulk up on carbs, protein, and iron for several weeks. while proper fusion shouldn’t leave scars, the process itself involves a lot of tearing, blending, and resewing of flesh and bone. this, inevitably, requires a bit of extra energy and material to work with, as a lot of blood and tissue is naturally lost in the process.

because of all this prepwork, a magical medium (typically one specialized in healing) is highly recommended to help the process along, but not necessarily required. mediums are especially useful considering how long the fusion can last, and the excruciating physical and mental pain involved in the act. it’s really no surprise that unsupervised fusions tend to result in longer recovery periods and lasting scars, despite the determination and intentions of the partners involved.

Fusion

fusion is an exhausting, terrifying, gory process. nothing can prevent this—not love, not gentle easing, nor even the help of a medium. these things can soothe the process, but can’t eliminate the consequences.

physically, every cell is in overdrive—DNA is unpacking, migrating, and repacking at unimaginable rates, cells in one body are accommodating for the space taken by the cells of another, and tissues are unraveling into impossibly thin strands only to whip back into new positions. bones break, muscles shake, and nerves alight into a frenzy as they try to keep up with new orientations.

mentally, two consciousness are shattering-- some fragments collide and merge, while others shift and widen cracks to make room for other fragments. the process isn’t perfect—the ragged edges of emotions and memories cut and tear at one other as they vie for prominent positions in consciousness—but this heals with time.

if blood, gore, and excess emotional energy paint the location of a fusion, then the process was likely a success.

Post-fusion

much like the pre-fusion prep, post-fusion recovery involves a lot of aftercare in the form of eating, sleeping, and meditation. many mediums are happy to help in this process as well, though most Fusions prefer family or friends at this point.

recovery can last several weeks, or even months in some cases. during this recovery period, the Fusion must shift between each partner every few hours (or however long it takes them to shift), gradually increasing the time spent as each partner until they can comfortably and safely spend more than a day at a time as each partner (and the shift time has decreased to at least an hour).

after the recovery period, most Fusions should be able to comfortably spend at least a week or two at a time as each partner before shifting. the shift itself also shouldn’t take much more than 30-60 minutes, or require as much bulking-up beforehand. shifting still results in some blood loss and gore, but barely enough to leave a dent in an overall Fusion’s mass (though that doesn’t necessarily make the cleanup process any more pleasant..).

~Species Involved~

fusion typically works best between those with similar minds (everything from temperament, interpretation skills, senses, neurology, etc. are considered) and similar DNA. thus, fusion between individuals of the same species works best, then gets more difficult with each taxonomic step away from one another (by genus, then family, then order, etc). phyla seems to be the hard cut-off between potential Fusion species, though specific difficulties in fusion between taxonomic levels below that are uncertain, and may well vary between different taxonomic groups.

the relative sizes of the partners in question are also critical, as the mass taken up by one partner must be used to build the mass of the other. while it isn’t impossible for partners with size differences to fuse (since the process of fusion is largely driven by metaphysical/neurological/genetic factors), it can be a highly risky process. there does come a point where the size difference is just too much, and the partners may initially fuse, but will eventually perish due to the inconsistent mass distribution during the shifting process. however, the cut-off in relative size difference varies depending on the precautions the Fusion is willing to take to uphold the larger phase/partner (to be discussed further in the ‘Shifting’ section). more careful Fusions of this type will last longer than Fusions who are less willing to make accommodations and/or do not have proper access to accommodations.

despite all this, fusion within the same species is exceedingly rare because most individuals are content with platonic/romantic bonds, and the resulting Fusion of same species doesn’t necessarily make for a more powerful/skilled individual (since the skillsets of each partner are typically on the same relative level compared to distinct-species Fusions). distinct-species Fusions, on the other hand, usually blend diverse skillsets, and help bridge the gap that tends to leave non-fused bonds between different species lacking (we can never truly comprehend other species’ experiences, after all). this is usually appealing to those looking to fuse.

while human/nonhuman Fusions are the most popularized, there have been plenty of examples of Fusions between nonhuman species, such as crow/wolf Fusions. however, since there is much less public interest in Fusions of this sort, research into nonhuman Fusions is sadly lacking. nonhumans may very well fuse among themselves just as often as humans do with nonhumans, but we don’t currently know for sure.

there is much debate over when the ability to fuse developed in evolutionary history, and what resulting clades of animals are even capable of it. current research suggests that any organism with at least a nerve chord is physically/neurologically capable of fusion, but some level of sociality is required on the psychological/metaphysical level in order to occur. thus, fusion is common in social species (of which, many are mammalian and avian), and much less common as sociality decreases.

as a sidenote, Fusion classification is kind of a nightmare and a subject of hot debate among taxonomists. much like lichen, there’s no real systematic way to classify a Fusion unless you break them down to their component parts and individually classify those parts. but doing so ignores the complex intimacy of the parts in question, and the effects these parts have on one another on even an evolutionary level.

~Melding~

again, melding refers to the level of metaphysical fusion between the two consciousness’ contained within a Fusion. 1st gen Fusions will always be two individual beings, no matter the circumstances. this is simply the nature of initial fusion. despite what the phrase implies, there are still two consciousness’ living in one being, each with their own goals, memories, experiences, etc. yes, the individual minds mesh intimately, but they are still individuals. fully-melded Fusions, on the other hand, are one wholly-realized being. they are one consciousness, and merely have different phases of self and body. there will still be things that either phase can’t access because of distinctive neural networks (explained in more detail in the ‘Consciousness’ section), but each phase is relatively easy to access and shift to when needed.

thus we see the need for both “partners” and “phases” as terms here— “partners” typically refers to early-gens’ individual Fusion sides, while “phases” typically refers to later-gens’ melded Fusion sides.

depending on the species and souls involved in the initial fusion, the level of meld can vary. the rule of thumb is that the closer the original partners are in terms of neurological mapping and DNA, the more fully they will initially meld, and the more quickly generations after them will result in fully-melded Fusions. typically, it takes around 4-5 generations for the descendants of a 1st gen Fusion to eventually result in a seamless fusion of consciousness. though this varies widely—Fusions of the same species can take as little as 2 generations to fully meld, while Fusions whose partners belong to completely different taxonomic classes can take as many as 8 generations. thus, each successive generation after gen 1 gets more stable until a plateau of mental/physical stability and melding is reached.

though this is only a simplified description of melding, when in reality melding can vary quite a bit across family trees. the offspring of a 1st gen Fusion and a fully-melded Fusion can result in rather unpredictable melding-- the offspring may be a mid-meld just as easily as a nearly-full meld or barely-melded Fusion. there’s no real way to predict the level of offspring meld when the level of meld in the parents doesn’t quite match up. 

~Reproduction and Inheritance~

all cells in a Fusion always contain the DNA sets of both a Fusion’s phases, no matter the phase they currently hold. the in-shift DNA is simply active in the bodies’ cells, while the out-shift DNA is dormant—bundled up tight in the nucleolus until it’s reactivated for shifting. thus, the same goes for gametes, which always contain both DNA sets for a Fusion’s phases. the successful production of Fusion offspring depends entirely on the couple in question, and how their respective gametes react to one another.

Fusion x non-Fusion

Fusions can reproduce with non-Fusions of either species they are composed of, so long as they physically are that species during the act. the respective DNA for the matching species involved in the act will carry out meiosis naturally, creating a new being for that side of the resulting Fusion. the parent Fusion’s other set of DNA, however, will carry over to the offspring fully intact. since there is no matching set of DNA from the non-Fusion parent to perform meiosis with, this essentially results in a clone of those genes for that side of the offspring Fusion. as an example, if a human produces offspring with a human/wolf Fusion, only the human genetic material will undergo meiosis and result in a fresh new human ‘half’ for their offspring, while the wolf DNA attached to the Fusion parent will simply carry over fully intact.

if the non-Fusion parent carries the offspring in this pairing, they may run into difficulties during the process of pregnancy/incubation, particularly if there’s a decent size difference between the offspring’s phases, as the offspring will shift frequently during development. this could result in dangerous health issues for the carrying non-Fusion parent, and/or miscarriage if the size difference is too large.

matching Fusion x Fusion

in a pairing involving two Fusions whose species both match, the genetic material for both parents’ Fusion species will undergo meiosis and result in fresh new phases for the offspring.

disparate Fusion x Fusion

fusion can only stably handle two partners at a time; any Fusion of over two individuals is impossible. thus, the 3-way competing species genes in this pairing would automatically knock out the two species that don’t match. for example, a human/wolf Fusion paired with a human/cat Fusion would simply produce human offspring resulting from the shared human genes of their parents.

it’s MUCH more difficult to produce successful offspring from these pairings due to several factors. for one, the process of “knocking out” the non-matching parental genes is extremely difficult, considering how intimately these genes are fused in the parents. thus, successful fertilization is a rare feat. then there’s the process of pregnancy/incubation, which can pose a special set of problems for Fusions with a decent size difference between phases (since the developing offspring obviously won’t be shifting to a phase they don’t have in the first place). this, then, can result in miscarriage if the size difference of the carrying Fusion’s phases is too large. 

even if the development/birth is a success, these offspring have to deal with a special set of social issues compared to their Fusion comrades, as they aren’t actually a Fusion, but they are related to and often intimately entrenched in Fusion culture/issues. plus, they can’t connect to their parents’ other Fusion species on as intimate a level as they would if they could also shift to the same species.

Fusion offspring will shift phases during development, and both phases will develop at the same relative rate (which changes between phases). this holds true for Fusions developing in eggs as well. the parent Fusions (particularly the carrying Fusion) will feel compelled to shift with their offspring throughout the process.

if the carrying Fusion has a womb in their conceiving phase, but not in their other phase, the womb will still carry over to their other phase, but will simply have no physical opening connected to the outside world. any physiological ‘plans’ for birth will be halted temporarily as well, if the carrying Fusion is near their delivery date. some of these Fusions near their delivery date are shocked to find that they immediately fall into contractions after they shift back to their carrying phase. these wombs are still connected to the carrying Fusion’s physiological state, though, and still receive nutrients and hormones from the parent’s body. 

Fusions of live-birth x egg-laying species work similarly, if one phase does not have a uterus. however, even if the offspring was conceived during the egg-laying phase, the live-birth phase will override this reproductive setup, and the offspring will fully develop in the womb of the carrying Fusion. if both phases are egg-laying, the carrying Fusion will lay an egg, but it will always be the larger egg of the two species contained in the Fusion. this “overriding” function of development allows the developing offspring plenty of room for both their phases to develop, no matter the potential size differences between phases.

Fusions are always born as the species their carrying parent was at the time of birth, and tend to follow a quick day-by-day shifting schedule for a few weeks afterwards. any nearby Fusions (particularly the parents of the offspring) will feel psychologically compelled to shift phases in tandem with the offspring; it’s theorized that this is a subconscious measure to allow each phase of the offspring to properly socially/psychologically develop with others of the same species. after that, as the offspring’s body adjusts to the outside world, their shifting schedules slow down to once a week. they can’t spend more than a week in either phase until they pass adolescence. 

since young Fusions must allow the neurological networks of both their phases to learn and develop individually, it typically takes born Fusions twice as long to neurologically develop compared to non-Fusions. this, unfortunately, results in stigmatization in certain human societies, especially within educational settings that expect faster results.

~Shifting~

most Fusions spend about an equal amount of time in both phases, as this is most healthy and fulfilling for both sides. this can be accomplished on any variety of schedules, from daily to weekly shifts. schedules also depend heavily on respective waking/sleeping cycles. for example, nocturnal/diurnal Fusions may compromise by sleeping for a few hours between each sunrise and sunset, then shifting to either phase for nighttime/daytime hours.

though it’s possible, it’s not recommended that Fusions remain in one phase for more than two weeks, as this can cause serious mental/physical health issues. more than three weeks, however, absolutely pushes the limit of healthy standards, and should be avoided at all costs. 

sadly, half-human Fusions are often put under societal pressure to spend most of their time as humans. Fusions pressured too heavily into this have even tried to keep from shifting for up to a month at a time—and worse yet, have only allowed themselves to remain nonhuman for a day or so. this treatment leaves their nonhuman phase agitated, damaged, and full of repressed energy, which can result in dangerous consequences for the Fusion and anyone nearby when they finally allow themselves to shift. such forced behavior typically results in a permanently damaged body and psyche, with Fusions unable to control their emotions and senses in either phase. this only further stigmatizes Fusions, causing more Fusions to repress themselves and break their minds and bodies. movements to change this perception of Fusions have gained traction in recent years, which have thankfully decreased the level of phase repression, but there is a long way to go before all stigmatization is gone.

pausing in a mid-shift form is also highly dangerous to a Fusion’s mental and physical health. if stopped mid-shift, the brain and body don’t know what to do and how exactly to orient themselves, causing disorientation and—at worst—a damaged psyche. for merely one example of any number of problems with mid-shifts, the throat of a human/wolf Fusion might be able to speak human language, but the brain might only be able to interpret wolf vocalizations, leaving the Fusion speaking gibberish as an attempt at communication. then there’s also the fact that shifting naturally involves the tearing of flesh, so pausing mid-shift can leave a Fusion’s body vulnerable to infection, or may leave vital internal organs ruptured. of course, most Fusions don’t purposefully pause mid-shift, but it is a common consequence of phase repression. some Fusions have been recorded stuck in mid-shift for days at a time after repressing their shifts, which in itself results in horrific, long-term mental/physical health effects.

Fusions with a large size difference between phases must take special shifting precautions compared to Fusions whose phases are similarly-sized. as mentioned in the ‘Species Involved’ section, there is a certain point where the size difference is too great to support a Fusion beyond the initial fusion, but it is certainly not impossible for size differences to exist. these Fusions can’t just bulk up on food when shifting from the smaller to the larger phase, since the smaller phase can’t realistically take in the amount of mass needed to uphold the larger phase. instead, these Fusions must lay near raw materials (proteins, irons, salts, and other important aspects of living organisms) during the shifting process, and the Fusion’s shifting body will automatically pick up and process any nearby materials from the environment to make up for the lack of mass immediately available within the body. the easiest source of raw materials is another body, which works out great for carnivores who want to use the rest of a recent kill for their shift. this is not a palatable solution for every Fusion, however, so other Fusions with a great size difference may instead save the excess flesh dropped when shifting from the larger to the smaller phase and use it for mass-buildup during the shift from small-to-large later on. these Fusions must also be wary of any potential passerby, because the process of shifting leaves the Fusion largely unconscious. thus they can’t control what their shifting body may pick up for use towards their shifting mass. unlucky passerby in these instances may lose a limb or two by accident...

~Consciousness~

due to the nature of neurological mapping and the intimate interplay between the body and mind, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for both phases of a Fusion to be fully conscious at the same time. in 1st gen Fusions this is much more distinct, as the partner whose physical body is currently in-shift is the one primarily “steering” the body, while the other partner is more-or-less a vague passenger, observing as much as they can comprehend through the neural map of a body that they weren’t born into. 

at the same time, no phase/partner’s consciousness can EVER be FULLY “locked out” when their partner is in-shift, though they can have highly varied levels/types of awareness. some Fusions’ phases will be barely conscious when out-shift, while others’ phases will still be highly conscious and exert much influence when out-shift. 

these varying levels of consciousness can manifest in different ways depending on the Fusion’s overall meld and neurological congruency. for example, early-gen Fusions whose out-partners are highly-conscious tend to experience more mental dissonance than fully-melded Fusions whose out-phases are similarly highly conscious. early-gen Fusions have to reconcile the opinions/goals of two individuals during every decision, which isn’t always easy, no matter how much the partners may care for or respect one another. fully-melded Fusions, on the other hand, typically experience their out-phases as subconscious drivers of certain actions and decisions rather than unique consciousness’, even if their out-phases are highly-conscious

there are also things that simply can’t fully carry over from one phase to the other. while the phases do mesh more soundly in later-gen Fusions, the distinct neural maps of different bodies still cause unavoidable schisms between phases. for example, the wolf phase of a human/wolf Fusion will keep some knowledge of human language from their human phase, but much will still be lost to the distinct neural map of the wolf brain, and they won’t be able to interpret human language in the same way or to the same degree as they will in their human phase.

this schism is even apparent in memory recall, in what many call “shift fog”. basically, certain memories of events during one phase are temporarily lost when a Fusion shifts to their other phase because the neural networks of one brain simply can’t comprehend what was experienced by the other brain. for example, humans can see more colors than wolves can, so these extra colors seen in the human phase of a Fusion can’t pass over in memory to their wolf phase because these colors are literally incomprehensible to the wolf phase. thus, human memories involving these colors are much more fragmented in the wolf phase compared to memories that feature much less of these colors. these memories are not lost forever, and will return in full once the Fusion shifts back to their human phase.

~Random Facts~

Fusion lifespans tend to range midway between the lifespans each species they consist of. human/wolf fusions, for example, tend to live up to around 40-45 years since wolf lifespans range from 6-8 years, and human lifespans range from 70-80 years. this can vary depending on the amount of time a Fusion spends in either form; a human/wolf Fusion who spends more time as a human will have a longer lifespan than a Fusion of the same kind who spends more time as a wolf. both phases age at the same rate, which changes with the phase in-shift. thus, a human/wolf Fusion who is a teen in their human phase will also be a teen in their wolf phase, despite how the difference in timespan needed to reach the “teen years” of each respective species.

gender expression among Fusions is just as diverse as that of any non-fused creature—if not more so. the majority of Fusions tend to identify midway between the genders of their phases. if both phases are girls, then the Fusion overall is typically a girl, but if the genders of each phase differ, then the most common genders seen are either agender or genderfluid (with gender switching between phases). while these are the most commonly seen approaches to gender, they hardly encompass the true depth and diversity of Fusion gender expression. there are Fusions who, for example, may be genderfluid in one phase, but very much male in their other phase. this isn’t even to mention the genders that arise from Fusions who are partially comprised of a species that has no concept of gender whatsoever.

names can be complicated for Fusions, especially 1st gen and young Fusions. early-gen Fusions tend to prefer two different names for each of their partners, while later-gen Fusions are happy with one name for their whole self. sometimes this even changes across a Fusion’s lifespan.