#do i. get to see anybody in MY friend group though or

[elytrafemme]

not to talk disjointedly about IRL friend drama on tumblr but a very minute and incredibly selfish (thus why i can't voice it out loud) thing i'm experiencing is because of the whole nature of this conflict one of my close friends basically can't be in her dorm room very much because it's a hostile environment which i cannot emphasize enough sucks so badly for her and that is the central core issue that all of us basically have in this situation. weve talked about it extensively. but the byproduct of that is that this + the fact that they're dating one of my best friends means that after a certain hour (which is just like... any time after 7 i would say) it becomes borderline impossible to just hang out with my best friend on our own because even if we make plans to do something, we'll inevitably get dinner with our friend group and then there's like... like obviously no night ends with just us as a Duo it ends with them hanging out so inevitably i overstay my welcome. and like i get that's because my friend doesn't have many other places to go but this is like the third time i've wanted to take a walk with my best friend, something we did constantly last semester even after they were dating, and i have been canceled on. which again i get because obviously i don't have hard feelings towards them given the situation it just is a bit upsetting because like... i love my friend group but i want to be able to see literally anybody one on one without feeling like a proxy in a social group (especially since i don't talk very much when we're in a whole group setting due to like psychological recent issues and also being on the quieter end generally). yeah

[thanosscross]

Baby - Choi Seung Hyun x reader

A/n: I decided to do both!! I didn't want anybody to feel like I chose one over the other, so here is our first fic, next up will be pre games! Thanos x reader, but what do you think, smut, fluff, angst?

Summary: After going to a club you met a quite intoxicating man, who you later found out to be the same person you and your friends were going to see live

Warnings: Implied smut, drinking

You were a regular at the certain club you were at, both you and friends, so whenever the line was out of the door you were all confused, slowly making your way through, waving at the bouncer as you walked in you noticed the club a lot more alive than usual, along with a group of guys dancing around with drinks on the dance floor. As you made you way day, you made eye contact with the taller one of the group, you friends cheered rushing to the bar to start your adventure of friday night drinking.

It didn't take long for you to be tipsy from the drinks, making your way to the floor whenever your friend's favorite song came on, you just laughed dancing along with her and your two other friends, that was until you noticed the one guy staring at you while talking to his friend. "Hey...do you see that guy?..he's been staring since we got in" You asked, not knowing if you should be flattered by the staring or not, but instead your friend just laughed "Look how tall he is! Go talk to him I bet he's hot too!" She cheered before spinning you around to the music before shoving you over in their direction.

Seung Hyun smiled watching you spun over very disoriented and starting to lose your balance, as you were now tipsy and dizzy, squealing whenever you felt two hands catch your hips, halting your spins and stumbles "Oh my goodness! I am so sorry m-my friend!-" The mystery man just shushed you with a soft very attractive chuckle "You're okay baby" He replied, leaning close to your ear to be heard over the speakers, you blushed brightly and for a minute you were happy it was darker in the club, his voice was on the deeper side "Choi Seung hyun" He whispered lower to your ear, making your shudder under his touch, only now realizing his hands were still placed on your hips. "What? o-oh! y/n" You smiled resting your hand on his forearm, feeling just how much muscle was hiding under the suit jacket he wore. "You're a great dancer" He laughed, you were in awe, just this man's voice and laugh was enough to want to give over your hand in marriage.

You continued to dance with each other for a few more songs, feeling the alcohol start to take over you again as you turned around placing his hands on your waist as you continued to dance with him. Once the song ended, he laughed leaning closer to you if possible "Hey, my friends and I are leaving..if you wanna grab a drink for the road and come with?" he asked hands still placed firmly on your waist, you just nodded lightly against his chest, he just laughed in replied, he couldn't help it, between the alcohol and how absolutely adorable he thought you were being right now was like a laughing gas.

Walking out of the club and climbing into the limo should've been your first clue these guys weren't your average guys, but you obviously followed the man you seemed to be getting drunk off of. As he sat down, he grabbed your wrist with a sense of force but with a certain gentleness that made your heart swoon, he pulled you down to sit right next to him, pulling your legs to sit over his lap, your ass basically on half of his thigh. "You smoke baby?" He asked softly raising his eyebrows, you leaned your head to the side raising your eyebrows "If you do" You smirked, he just smirked chuckling a bit as he lit his joint he had stashed behind his ear, his friends smirking as they glanced over realizing Seung Hyun somehow pulled a girl who was either too drunk to know him or just didn't know him, which was rare.

You were both in your own world though, Seung Hyun inhaling before pulling your lips closer to his to blow the smoke into your mouth, you leaned forward to connect your lips but he quickly pulled away smirking, a smile on his face as he raised a finger wagging it towards you "Patience, baby" He whispered in the one tone that was starting to kill you. Pouting as you pulled away he chuckled leaning forward, leaving rough kisses down to your collarbone before biting your neck, you gasped running your hands through his hair, this man was just getting hotter and hotter the more he spoke.

Whenever you woke up the next morning, your entire lower half was sore, you had slight memories of the night before, especially whenever you saw a naked man asleep next to you. Slowly you tried to climb out of his bed without disturbing him, but as you started to pull on your dress you heard a deep breath and what sounded like a whine "leaving so soon, baby? How do those legs feel?" He asked smirking rolling onto his side to see you, you blushed as you stood up straighter turning around "M-my friend is probably worried a-and we had plans tonight" You stuttered "My number though?" You offered handing him your phone sweetly "Of course, but it's too cold to wear that, let me find you something, baby" He offered, throwing the blanket off of him, revealing his naked torso, a pair of boxers covering what still showed off as a big package. He walked over grasping your hand gently taking you into a giant closet, going through his shirts before pulling out a long sleeve shirt, a jacket, and some sweatpants. "That should be good enough to keep you warm, I'd hate for you to be shivering" he frowned, you looked up at him in awe "I hate sounding like one of those girls, but..You'll text me right?.." You asked placing your hands on his sides "Of course, baby, I gotta show tonight..but afterwards...how about you come back over" He smiled placing his hands on your hips swaying you gently, that should've been your second sign to put two and two together, especially because you and your friends were going to an award show tonight. "Deal.." You whispered, going to press your lips against his but you stopped yourself planting your feet to the floor. Seung Hyun chuckled shaking his hand before using his index and thumb to lift your head up "Come here, baby" He chuckled pressing his lips to yours, you held onto his arms as you leaned into the kiss, he pulled your hips closer smiling against your lips "Are you scared of me now, baby?" He asked teasingly, slowly pulling away from you "Not-uh" You whispered shaking your head "You're just...familiar" You mumbled "But I can't tell" You continued before shrugging, he sighed looking up to the clock frowning "I gotta get goin, baby...but I'll text you after my thing tonight..we can meet up again" He smiled, you nodded sadly as you pulled away from him starting to strip to change into the clothes he gave you "You're gonna kill me baby" You heard Seung Hyun groan from the doorway, you turned around blushing just in time to see him biting his lip before smacking the doorway "Saving that mental picture, because I like, I gotta go though, baby" He said quickly winking at you before disappearing out of the room to start getting ready.

As you were leaving the home, it all hit you, the voice, the body language, how familiar he sounded calling you baby, you just fucking slept with THE T.O.P and stayed the night in the same house as BigBang. As you opened the front door you were stopped by rushed footsteps and Seung Hyun's shouts "Y/n! Wait!" He shouted before coming to a stop in front of you, holding your hips in his hands, he loved the way they just perfectly fit into his hands at any point, from front or behind ;). "See you tonight, yea?" He asked, hopeful he'd get to see your beautiful smile and adorable demeanor again "Of course, just let me know when and where" You smiled kissing him one last time before leaving.

You spent the rest of the day trying to get your friends to believe who you slept with, but they just kept calling you delusional, as you walked into the giant arena, your friends squealed rushing to the barricades, you followed behind watching as everybody funneled in. It was packed, and for most of the show you were behind your friends, until your favorite song started to play, and you and your friend had switched spots, your friend and you both screaming as Knock Out started to play loudly over the speaker G-Dragon and T.O.P rushed out on stage again "Look! It's you're secret night lover, y/n!" Your friend teased, still thinking you were just delusional, until Seung Hyun turned, spotting you standing barricade to his show, so you did know who he was. He made his way over, squatting down, never skipping a beat with his rap as he made eye contact with you before motioning to security to bring you up to his room after the set. You almost fainted, not only did you fuck him and play it cool, but now he knew and still wanted to see you.

After the show ended you smiled looking at your friends "You guys! I'll meet you at the bar okay?" You smiled leaving them at the gates before aimlessly wandering around, trying to find the guard that was waiting for you before, as you continued looking, the venue started to empty, until it was just you in the halls, now turned around and lost. Never noticing Seung Hyun making his way to you, he just smiled to himself, of course you got lost, you were adorable. Making his way up behind you he grabbed your hips "Hi baby" He smirked "Didn't think I'd see you here" he said spinning you around to face him "I wanted to see you again" You frowned resting your hands on his chest "Was my performance not enough?" He asked with a fake pained face, you just shook your head wrapping your arms around him "So, why'd you want me to stay behind?" You asked looking up to him "I wanted to see you again" He repeated your reply from earlier before leading you back towards a small hall that was blocked off with multiple different dressing rooms.

"Baby" Seung Hyun called out, causing you to blush, you were just trying to introduce yourself to the others, but you were learning now the hotter older male was also clingy, but from what the others stated, he wasn't usually like this. Walking towards the bathroom door peeking in "yesss" you called back, smiling whenever you saw him peek out behind the foggy glass shower door, his light teal hair soaking wet slicked back from his face "Shower?" He asked, you were very very tempted to get in, but then you remembered how hard he was jumping on stage "Not-uh, you probably still stink" You protested, squealing as all the other saw was you dissapear behind the bathroom door as Seung Hyun grabbed your wrist pulling you into the bathroom. He stepped fully out of the shower towering over your small frame "That was rude" He scoffed, for a moment you thought he was serious until he smirked starting to peel his shirt off of you "Come on" He offered again before stepping back into the hot water.

You stepped in behind him once you finished stripping, this was your first chance to actually see him naked sober, and it was not a disappointment at all. "You're staringg" He teased pulling you closer by your hips, making you almost slip if it weren't for him catching you, you grasped his arms tightly looking at him terrified knowing it'd probably hurt like a bitch to fall. "I got you, baby" Seung Hyun whispered, ghosting his lips over your neck "You looked hot singing along to me" He whispered, you leaned into his touch, yea that water was warm, but he was somehow warmer. "You looked hot" You replied, feeling him squeeze your hips "Why didn't you say you knew me? us?" He asked, ghosting his teeth over your neck, you shivered under his touch "I didn't know who you were..until I left" You explained trailing your hand down his chest and stomach, feeling his stomach move as his breath hitched, his hand caught yours before it could go any further though "I like you" he stated, leaning away from you to be able to see your face "I like you too" You smiled cupping his cheek with your friend "Yes but do you like famous me...or me?" He asked, holding your hand close to his chest, over his heart "Be honest, y/n" He whispered, you nodded leaning closer to him "I like you, being around you just in the short time I have, it's been fun and I like being around you alot" You admitted, he just nodded kissing you softly, you leaned into him further, not wanting this moment to end

--

first Seung Hyun fic! What do we think? Part two? Leave it here? Feedback, lovelies, feedbacks.

[gay-dorito-dust]

How about a bill x reader comforting him about his insecurities after having drank too much O'Sadleys? Bill talks about everything that bothers him being almost 100% honest about his emotions and the reader is like 😦. Baffled. Doesn't know how to respond.

You knew bill wasn’t in the right state of mind when you awoke yourself to the feeling of being watched at 3am, only to see a triangular silhouette with stringy arms and legs dangling from it like wet spaghetti noodles, his one eye was half lidded at though it was too much of a bother to open it fully as his top hat was slightly slanted.

‘Bill?’ You asked, trying to blink away the sleep and look at him properly. ‘It’s three am what are you doing here?’

Bill sniffles before hiccuping as he floats over to you, resting himself against your chest as his little hands grabbed at your nightshirt. ‘Tell it to me straight meat sack? I’m a shit friend aren’t I?’ Before you could say anything in response, bill continued. ‘I put venomous snakes in your bath when you ignore me, fire breaking chicken with dragon feet in your room when I want your attention, but not too much attention that I think about turning you into a gold statue so that I can keep you in my sights forever and ever to fill the fact that I don’t want to be alone again.’

He then looks at you with his watery eye, rubbing at it as he hiccups again. ‘Why do you think I have the henchmaniacs? I need to constantly be with someone or a group of them to get what I want, attention because I’ve been devoid of it for too long…that or to ignore that tv static inside my head that kept asking me why did I do it on repeat that it might as well have driven me mad.’

You felt as though you needed to be pinched in the moment because it was obvious that Bill wasn’t in the right state of mind, but he looked so vulnerable and pathetic that you couldn’t help but feel the smallest bit of sympathy for the guy, despite knowing how his ‘pranks’ can be from firsthand experience. You still have the scars to prove it whenever Bill denies ever doing so, and when you do show him he just waves it off as you being clumsy.

‘Bill go to sleep, we’ll talk about this in the morning.’ You tried to close your eyes but the feeling of being looked was too strong to ignore and the moment you opened your eyes again, Bill was hovering over your face and extremely close for comfort. Wait? Was his mascara running?

‘You agree with them too don’t you! I’m a one eyed freak who destroyed his home and thought that through terrorising people and making them submit to my will would ever make them like me enough to care!’ Bill cried as he hugged your face, hiccuping once again. ‘I say that I don’t need anybody when I’m actually I need someone, anyone to care about little old selfish me while expecting nothing in return! Is that too much to ask!’ He adds as he cries hysterically, his smudged mascara now smudged across your face as he nuzzles himself against you.

You awkwardly pat Bill on his back as he continued to weep, feeling a slight pan in your chest but questioning whether this is was just another prank of his, or just him being himself for once in your presence. ‘There there, I’m sure not everyone thinks that way of you..’ you trailed off as you tried to think of how you could approach this situation without risking the chance of death or becoming a golden statue for him to keep forever.

‘Really?!’ Bill says as his eye grow wide when he pulls away from you to look you into the eye. ‘You really mean that? You really, really mean that!’

You saw the childlike hopefulness in Bill’s eye and can’t help but sigh as you gently patted his hands that was holding onto your face in desperation. ‘Yes I really mean it bill, the past will only define you if you let it define you. You’ve done some…questionable stuff but I’m certain you’ll soon see yourself as a person, triangle, demon that you can be proud of.’ You finished off awkwardly as you tried your best to offer some solid advice that’ll appease him while hoping to live another day.

Bill sniffled, wiping the tears from his one eye. Or was it salvia? You didn’t know and didn’t want to care if you wanted to keep your sanity. ‘You’re my only true friend y/n.’ He admitted softly, fidgeting his bow tie and top hat before pulling it off his head. ‘You remember how I told you my home dimension was destroyed?’

Yes you remembered, he told you this information once upon a time and it was something that was hard to forget because how could you live through life knowing you were the last of your own kind without breaking down? Bill then reached into his hat and pulls out a small, barely visible atom that glowed like a star. ‘This is the last of it.’ He adds sombrely and you couldn’t help but feel gobsmacked that he was even showing you this that you couldn’t say anything other than.

‘I bet your home was beautiful.’

‘It’s hard to appreciate it when you’re born with a birth defect and having to bear the curse of being able to see into the 3rd dimension.’ Bill mumbled, nuzzling himself into your neck. ‘I got ridiculed by my peers but my mom would always tell me that she’d love me even with my one eye…sharp edges and all…’ bill trails off weakly as he pushed himself further again your neck to leech off of your warmth.

‘Oh bill.’ You said barely above a whisper as you allowed him to find comfort in your neck. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Don’t be meat sack, you’re the only one who cares to listen anyways…I know you won’t betray me, you’re a true friend to me…or as close to one as I’ll ever get.’ Bill confessed as he felt himself fall asleep. ‘So thank you for that, you’re not so bad for a meat sack.’

While Bill fell asleep, you remained up all night wondering where or not he’ll remember this all in the morning or just down right deny that it ever happened in the first place, but just for now you’ll allow yourself to lap up Bill’s vulnerability and rest your hand on his back comfortingly as he slept peacefully. ‘You’re not so bad for a triangle dream demon either Bill, you’ll always have a home with me, or at least a safe space to be yourself with me.’ You said aloud to no one in particular before falling asleep yourself.

[itsrlymine]

idk if you’ve answered this before or if it’s something you may not want to answer but i was wondering how your journey from the early stages of finding out about manifesting up until knowing you’re the operant power and your full potential was like

my manifesting journey so far

Hello my love! I think I just haven't seen the question yet but I would love to answer!

As far as I'm concerned, I knew manifesting as manifesting around the time I was 18 and in my first year of university. But ofc, I was manifesting the whole time before. The university I went to had the lowest acceptance percentage ever but I still managed to get in even with my grades that didn't meet their requirements and i didn't even do the college essay that everyone else had to do. I remember just deciding over and over that I would go there no matter what anybody said. I was told it was expensive and I didn't care, I was gonna go anyways. It was $40k/yr at the time and I got $36k worth of scholarship....... I just thought that was just luck.

Before then, I was obsessed with One Direction and 5 Seconds Of Summer like y'all it was bad! I wanted to see them in concert so freakin bad, it was like my life depended on it. I literally manifested them coming to my state and to a city that people don't really tour all the time and yall!!!!! I was like right in front of them and I def passed out hearing Zayn sing live. I saw both bands live together, it was incredible. I used subliminals to clear my skin in high school as well but eventually forgot about them.

I think having my dad tell me I could do anything I wanted is what lead me to believe that if I wanted something, it was automatically mine.

In college, I would always have s*x with the guys i wanted just by visualizing or saying they wanted me sooo bad (still works now!). I would make up friend groups in my head and then find that i would be in them not even two weeks later. I watched "The Secret" in my first year and that was really transformational for me bc I always felt like I was failing God and my family bc I didn't want to go the medical route/even finish college.

The summer of 2021, I was 22 and at home with my parents and broke asf and i said no more! I started consciously manifesting again even though I didn't know that's what it was called. I decided I would get a job in marketing that would pay me over $70k/yr even though I had one month of experience and only certifications in the field. Did that matter??? Of course not!!!!! It was remote and had unlimited pto and i could go on as many vacations a year as I wanted. I found out about the law a month after I started my job but for some reason, it felt so complicated and I found myself trying so damn hard rather than just reminding myself how I got what I wanted before. literally inner conversations, visualizing and talking out loud about my desires.

What made me realize I could manifest anything was when I changed my menstrual cycle and went to Dubai for free twice. What the 3d looks like never matters especially when it came to my cycle, I deadass couldn't see how my internal organs would change according to what I wanted but ofc they changed anyways. it was shortened and I haven't had cramps in months. Going to Dubai for free by imagining Abdullah slamming the door in my face and telling me I was in Dubai. I literally made a pinterest board of where I'd go in Dubai and I went to every single place. I would tell myself over and over that I'm gonna leave my wallet at home because everyone was gonna pay for me bc we are rich asf duh!. When I tell y'all that's exactly what happened!!!!

I've manifested so other "crazy" stuff but yea these ones definitely altered my brain chemistry.

[martian-astro10]

Arudha lagna in signs (sidereal chart, whole signs)- Part 1

- I explained how to calculate it in this post

AL in ARIES- People can see you as someone who is very impulsive, rash but also brave and courageous. You may be seen as someone who very easily gives in to their emotions, and can be especially blunt when angry. People may think that you don't like asking others for help even when you clearly need it. You can be seen as ambitious and determined as well. I feel like rather than being seen as the leader people are more likely to perceive you as someone who does the dirty work, this maybe because you are not afraid to get your hands dirty and don't give that much of a fuck about your reputation. Honestly, some very stereotypical traits that people might associate you with, are: impatient, headstrong, hot tempered, angry, and rebellious, and tbh i know someone who has their AL in Aries and this is EXACTLY how I perceive them as, the funniest part is that the person is a cancer ascendant....tells you everything really. You can be really loyal though, like once someone enters your inner circle, you'll not let anyone harm them. People will perceive you as more positive or negative depending on which planets are aspecting the AL. If it's only negatives, then people will see only the bad qualities of that sign in you, but if it's aspected by benefics, then they'll see the positives of the sign in you.

AL in TAURUS - my best friend has this, so I'm definitely gonna sound biased. People can see you as someone who is very trustworthy, understanding and hard working. You can act like a pillar of support for the people around you. You are very emotionally intelligent as well, and this may actually be one of the main reasons why people like you so much. You know those people in groups who always let the introvert speak, that's you. You can be very stubborn tho, and that's really annoying. You may be seen as someone who will stick to their (wrong) opinions even when facts and information contrary to that is presented, you are seen as delusional tbh. I've noticed that men with AL in Taurus are actually the biggest man children, also can be abusive. You can be seen as someone who always ends up doing hard work instead of smart work, not really known for being smart tbh, I'm sorry 😭. I feel like that's a good quality tho, because you will keep on digging a hole until you find the diamond and then your life is set, because if there's one thing that you guys don't do, it's giving up. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in GEMINI - You guys are seen as someone who is really good at making connections and has great communication skills. They may also see you as someone who is made for the corporate world, since you guys are really good at sucking up to people in power 👀 (that's good tho). Since it's gemini, people think that you are someone who is not loyal to anybody, you'll change jobs if someone offers you more money even if the previous company's boss helped you out of poverty. People can associate you with the quote "a friend to all is a friend to none". I have a friend with this and she is in all the clubs that our university offers, so again, you guys can be great multi taskers and may have this urge to do EVERYTHING that you can. You know those people who are like "my exam was so bad, I'm gonna fail 😔" and then score 97, yeah, that's you. You guys are also seen as kind and friendly, you may always be willing to lend a helping hand to someone in need and this is what makes people remember you. People like to be around you since you always make them feel welcomed. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in CANCER - I know 2 people with this, and they're the KINDEST people i know. I feel like with this, it doesn't even matter what ascendant you have, because you're actually a helpful person and people see it because of your actions towards others. You can be a creative person as well, like, you may have a blog where you only post your art pieces, poems or something like that. You may be seen as someone who is very clingy and affectionate towards people you love. May also be people pleasers and can be seen as someone who is constantly looking for others validation, and ofc, with this comes avoidance of confrontation, which leads to you forming unhealthy relationships. I do feel like their motivation for helping others is validation since they don't like to be rejected or seen as someone who is "rude", like, they'll help someone just so the other person calls them "nice". You guys may also defend your family even when they're shit, they will be just straight up abusive towards you but when other people point it out, you say "they're not THAT bad". People may also see you as someone who would be more into polyamorous relationships. Lastly, you guys are seen as indecisive, one day you want this the other day you want that (this goes for objects as well as people). If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in LEO- my sister has this, so this is going to be the most accurate. First and foremost, BORN ENTERTAINERS. My mom was telling us that when my sister was young, like 5-7 years old and people would come to our house, she would sing and just welcome them like a host, we also have videos of her doing this, so definitely no doubt about that. People can see you as a creative person, but unlike Cancer people, the creativity is more in the face, like acting, singing, hosting, things that require you to be in front of an audience. You guys can be very charismatic and may have a lot of admirers as well. Very romantic, passionate, magnetic and confident. People may also see you as someone who is constantly being asked out, by all the genders. Now to the negative part, people can think that you're very defensive even when others are not attacking you. You can also be an attention seeker, the kind of person who only posts pictures in which everyone else except them is looking like shit. It's okay if you don't relate to this, but I've honestly seen that these people get so much pleasure when other people's partners give them attention.......yeah, I've seen this MANY times, tbh. Also, you can get easily manipulated, all a person has to do is call you amazing, beautiful and gorgeous and BAM, you're trapped. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

AL in VIRGO- people who have been following me for a long time know that I have a soft spot for virgos, so this is going to be a little biased. I feel like this is the best AL to have. People see you as this harmless introvert. You may be more of an observer than a participant in others life. People may see you as someone who is talented and capable of great things and yet remains humble. You may not like to make small talk and stick to your own business. You may be seen as someone who is very intelligent and great at what they do which will help you gain the favour of people older than you. People may also think that you're stressed all the time. They may not like working with you because of your over critical nature, so you may end up all alone, which is actually what you wanted in the first place, so all good. You know when moms are like "nobody helps me, i have to do everything by myself" but then you help them, and they don't like it so they start doing that again, that's you. You guys may also be very selective with who you hang out with so people may think that it's very hard to be your friend and get close to you. This is another AL that people perceive as someone who does not ask for help even when they need it. If it's more positively aspected then people will see the positives of the sign in you and vice versa.

Click here for Part 2

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[honeyedmiller]

A Burning Desire part seven

firefighter!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

rating: explicit. 18+, minors do not interact.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, extreme vulnerability, brief mentions of emotional abuse and manipulation in a past relationship, mentions of infidelity in a past relationship, shit ton of fluff, smut (nipple play, teensy bit of dirty talk, semi-public?? firetruck fucking!!! unprotected piv, ass play, ass slapping, brief choking, spitting, cum eating), reader’s brothers and tommy are little shits as always, no use of y/n.

word count: 7.1k

a/n: i’ve been feeling a little feral lately which resulted in the smut. apologies🧍‍♀️and yes that third picture is the 911 lonestar firehouse LMAO it was perfect for this okay 😭 anyway i hope y’all enjoy <3

synopsis: a drunken joel asks you to take your relationship with him to the next level.

A week had passed since Joel’s birthday party, and you’re now alone in a house that’s usually bustling with people. 

Sarah had gone off for the weekend to spend the night at a friend’s house while Joel went out with Tommy, your brothers, and Josh. You were curled up on the couch reading an invigorating romance novel. The quietness was accompanied by the ticking clock above the mantle and the soft scrape of paper rubbing against paper as you turned the page of your book. 

You find yourself so immersed in the book that when your phone rings, it nearly startles you half to death. You pick it up to see Emily FaceTiming you, and you dog-ear the page you’re on before setting the book down and sliding the answer button. 

“Hey Emi,” you smile at her as you bring your knees to your chest. 

“Hey sis. How are you?” 

“I’m good. Just reading a book and drinking some wine,” you say, lifting your glass up for her to see. She grins and holds up her water bottle, making you laugh. 

“You got the house to yourself?” She asks. You nod, chewing on your bottom lip. 

“Sarah is at a friend’s and, you know, Joel is out with the boys.” 

“The boys,” she snorts. “I can’t believe they all actually formed a little friend group and are going out.” 

“Tell me about it. I’ll take this over Andy and Cole chewing Joel’s head off any day, though.” 

“Seriously. Remember how long it took them to stop torturing Josh?” 

You think back to when your brothers would give Josh shit a lot when Emily first brought him around, but he stuck it out because he’s so head over heels for Emi… as he should be. Good man. 

“God, yeah. I also remember mom yelling at them both, saying something like ‘this is why you’re both single’,” you laugh at the memory, taking a sip of your wine. 

“I remember that, too. But I’m glad Josh stuck around,” she has a soft smile on her face before she twists her lips to the side. 

“Okay, so, I have something to tell you. But you can’t tell anybody. Well, you can tell Joel if you want,” she sighs, and you furrow your brows. 

“Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong. In fact, everything is perfect. You know how I told mom like a week ago at Joel’s birthday party that Josh and I didn’t use… anything on our honeymoon?” 

You nod, recalling the moment in Joel’s kitchen. Then you go completely still as your heart drops to your ass. 

“Emi, oh my god, is—are you—holy fuck,” your brain is scrambled right now, eyes going wide as you stare at the screen. 

She tears up and lets out a happy sob that sounds like a laugh, holding up a pregnancy test that so clearly has the word pregnant across the tiny screen. 

Your hand flies over your mouth and tears sting your eyes. 

“Oh my god!” 

“I know, crazy isn’t it?” She laughs, happy tears streaming down her glowing cheeks. 

“When did you find out?” You ask. 

“Literally like thirty minutes ago. You’re the first person I’ve told,” she pauses. “Let Josh think he was the first, though. This is what he gets when he leaves his wife at home to go out and drink with his brothers and new friends,” she jokes, and you laugh with her. 

You hold up your right hand, seriousness in your tone. “Scouts honor.” 

“Thank you,” she says, sniffling before wiping her tears away once more. 

“I’m so happy for you, Emi. I know how much you want to be a mother.” 

“I love you, my dear sister,” she beams at you, and you can’t help but return the same radiant smile. 

“I love you too.” 

“Sorry to cut the conversation short, but Josh just texted and said he’s coming home in a few and I want to be prepared and all that,” she waves her hand around, and you can’t help but huff a laugh. 

“No worries. I’m so excited for you. I love you and I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?” 

She nods and blows you a kiss through the screen, saying bye before she hangs up. 

You can’t wipe the grin off your face or the warm feeling in your chest at her news. You try to go back to reading your book, but your mind can’t stop from wandering to your sister. 

Your thoughts are torn from your mind just a few short minutes later as you hear the front door handle jiggle, opening up to a completely happy and very drunk Joel.  

“There’s my beautiful lady,” he says, stumbling a tiny bit in the entryway. You laugh and stand up to help him, giving Tommy a wave as you see him watching Joel from his truck to make sure he gets in the house okay. He gives you a wave and a smile before peeling off, and you close the door. 

You steady Joel and help him walk over to the couch with you, settling him before you sit down next to him. 

“I gather your night went well,” you giggle, and he turns to smile at you. 

“Your brothers are two of the funniest damn guys. Josh too. This bromance is coming along just nicely.” 

You can’t help but laugh at his words, leaning forward to plant your lips on his cheek. 

“Oh, speaking of Josh,” you start, taking Joel’s hand into yours before rubbing your thumb across his knuckles. “Emily called me a few minutes before you came home. She told me some wonderful news and said I can share it with you.” 

Joel’s gaze meets yours as his eyebrows shoot up. “What is it?” 

“They’re having a baby. Emily is pregnant.” 

“Oh wow, that is great news. You think they’ll announce it to everyone soon?” He asks, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. 

“I’m sure they will soon.” 

It’s quiet for a couple of minutes before you switch positions on the couch and lay down, Joel following suit as he begins to tuck himself between your legs. You’re situating yourself before you look up at him with a small smile, his gaze already intensely on you. 

“We should have kids,” Joel says, a smug, sappy smile on his face. His words halt your movements as you eye him wearily. 

You quirk your brow at him and tilt your head. “Oh?” 

“Don’t ya think they’d be so cute?” He gushes, and Drunk Joel truly is a sight to behold. He’s all soft and cuddly. Practically a human teddy bear. 

“Just think about it,” he laughs, “They’d have your beautiful eyes and your smile and your laugh and—” 

You put a hand on his chest to stop his words, and he looks at you with so much love in his eyes you think you might burst. 

“Slow your roll, cowboy. How about we discuss this when whiskey isn’t in the equation.” 

He pouts at you and you have to stifle a laugh. He looks so fucking cute. Your heart blooms at the fact that he wants that type of future with you, and it cracks through the remaining pieces of the walls you’ve put up. 

He sighs and lays down on you, nestling his broad body between your thighs and clings to you like a koala. You kiss his temple and run your fingers through his hair, feeling so content and in love that it makes you nearly choke up with tears. 

He presses gentle kisses to the skin of your chest as he buries his face there, sighing in content. 

“Well if we’re holding off on the discussion of kids, then maybe we can start a few steps before that one,” he says, and his words barely make sense as he half-mumbles into your chest. You catch it anyway.

“And what would the first step be?” 

He lifts his head up to meet your gaze, eyeing you knowingly before giving you a soft but sure smile. 

“Move in with me.” 

-

“That’s the last of it.” You wipe your brow and exhale an exhausted breath, admiring the pile of boxes that overtook Joel’s living room—well, your living room now, too. It was only two months ago that Joel had drunkenly asked you to move in with him, and when morning time came, you had to make sure he was sure. 

He’d reassured you easily that he meant what he said and would love it if you moved in with him and Sarah. Sarah had been on board with it all along, wanting you to stay permanently after the few weeks you’d spent there taking care of Joel and helping with her. 

You had some things to figure out with your lease to your apartment, seeing as it wasn’t up until January, but your landlord was a godsend and the sweetest woman, letting you break the contract two months early with your full deposit back. 

Joel wraps his arms around you with a prideful grin, kissing your sweaty forehead. You grimace at that, but you’ve come to find out early on in your relationship that this man isn’t easily disgusted by much of anything, really. 

You gaze at the tower of boxes and it tugs at your heart strings. Just a couple of months ago, you were crushed by the prospect of having to go back to your apartment when Joel was fully healed, but it turns out he didn’t want you to leave, either. He’d come to your place on nights Sarah was with friends and would spend time with you there after you’d left his house and he got cleared for light duty at work. 

Turns out he’s just as clingy to you as you are to him. That’s not to say you both don’t mind spending time apart from each other, but you’d much prefer to be wrapped up in each other or simply enjoying each other’s company. 

You’ve already established that allowing yourself to get attached to someone scared the hell out of you, and Joel had sensed it, too. You finally opened up to him one night and laid all of your cards out on the table for him. Confessed that your ex had been emotionally abusive toward you, manipulating you and gaslighting you into thinking you were fucking nuts for wanting to feel something with him and be loved the way you knew you deserved to be, and that you were too much for wanting the bare fucking minimum. That he made you feel like you didn’t matter. That he made you feel unworthy of true love after you finally put the finishing pieces of the puzzle together, seeing the bigger picture, and coming to the conclusion that he was a fucking prick who didn’t deserve you or what you had to offer. The final cherry on top of this monstrosity was catching him fucking his coworker in his bed. 

You told Joel, with tears in your eyes, that your heart was completely his and it had taken you a while to get over the hurdles and constant battles in your mind. You told him he’s the one who crumbled all of those walls completely. He’s the one that made you believe in love again, no matter how much it terrified you. You confessed that he was it for you. He’d ruined every single other man for you, ever. 

With glossy eyes of his own, he pulled you in tight and held you for what seemed like hours, kissing your temple repeatedly until you completely melted into him. He’d made you a promise that night he’d do his absolute damndest to protect your heart and take care of it, and if he ever saw your ex, he’d beat the shit out of him. You’d never seen Joel so furious, but with the look he had in his eyes, you could tell he really wasn’t joking. 

It’s only been a few months, but you feel like you’ve come a long way—mentally, physically, with Joel, your family, and your dearest friend Maria. Without them, you don’t think you would’ve had the strength to overcome your worst fears that involved love. It took you a while to finally love yourself again after you ended it with Christian,  and even longer to allow someone else to love you the way your heart desperately desired. 

You couldn’t have been more grateful that the person to give you that is this handsome, strong, loving man that stands proudly beside you. Someone who’s unabashed about showing you off. Proud to love you out loud. Isn’t afraid of giving you a big, playful smooch in public and doesn’t hide you from his coworkers or his family or any of his friends. 

You’re irrevocably in love with Joel Miller, and you’re damn proud of it. This man has saved you—literally and figuratively. 

“I honestly thought you’d have more stuff than this,” Joel says with a teasing undertone. You snort a laugh and roll your eyes, looking at him with amusement. 

“My apartment wasn’t that big, Miller.” You pat his chest and move toward the boxes, luckily thinking ahead and separating everything into which room they belonged in. You lift the first one up that’s labeled bedroom in big bold letters, heading toward the stairs. Joel follows suit and picks up another one labeled bathroom, following you up the steps. 

You set the box down on the floor and open the drawers that Joel had cleared out for you. You smile at the thought of him being nice enough to clear out some of his space for you. He’d told you it gave him the perfect opportunity to clean up around the house and get rid of stuff he didn’t need or use anyway. He donated most of the stuff he got rid of, saying someone else would get much better use out of the various items. 

Joel sets his box down in the master bathroom, setting it on your side of the sink. Your side. Your lips curl up at that, and Joel comes behind you before nearly tackling you onto the bed. You yelp out in surprise, a breathy laugh escaping you as he straddles you and looks down at you from above. 

Your hands land on his torso, coercing him down with a mischievous smile and a curl of your finger, silently telling him ‘come here’. He licks his lips and leans down, elbows on either side of your head. 

“Fancy meetin’ you here, darlin’.” His Southern charm is something you’ll never tire of, especially if it’s regarded in a playful mood. 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to keep a lady waiting?” You quirk a brow at him and grin, fisting the front of his shirt to tug him down so you’re nose-to-nose. 

“You’re right, pretty lady. Severely rude. How long until everyone gets here…?” He trails off, kissing the line of your jaw before nibbling at your chin. Your eyes glance at your watch-clad wrist as you lift it up in your line of sight. 

“About forty minutes or so,” you breathe out in a sigh. Joel hums against your neck now, licking your pulse point before nipping your skin slightly. You arch your body up into his, neediness rolling off of every limb as you lick your lips in anticipation. 

“Enough time for me to show you how not rude I am,” he murmurs. You laugh at that, threading your fingers through his thick locks. 

“I think this lady would very much indeed like a proper demonstration.” 

Joel’s eyes turn dark and he nearly growls, tugging your tank top up and over your head before unzipping your sports bra. Your breasts bounce as they become free, and Joel chuckles deeply at the way your nipples tighten and become erect with such little teasing and some cold air. 

“So fuckin’ pretty. I love these tits, baby.” 

He leans down and sucks a nipple into his mouth, swirling his warm tongue around it before tugging on it with his lips. He scrapes his teeth over the sensitive bud and you gasp, hands landing on Joel’s chest as you fist his shirt once more. 

Wetness easily pools in your panties as he continues his ministrations, giving the other nipple as much attention as the previous. He eventually licks down your sternum, nipping his way down your torso before grabbing leggings by the waistband and yanking them down. 

“Joel, I’m all sweaty,” you whine, not particularly keen on him going down on you when you feel… musty. 

“Since when have I given a shit about that, baby? You know I’d eat this pretty pussy for breakfast lunch and dinner, given the chance. Now hush up n’ let me eat you like you deserve.” 

And he’s about to dive right in when the doorbell rings. You whine in frustration, rubbing your brow impatiently. 

“Guess we don’t have forty minutes,” you bite, and he has to roll his lips into his mouth to refrain from laughing. You roll your eyes at him and gently push him off of you, standing from the bed to adjust your clothes. You make your way out of the bedroom, and Joel can’t help but land a hefty smack to your ass. 

You swivel your head to look back at him and give him an unconvincing scowl. He’s sporting an amused expression in return. “Hands off, Miller.” 

“Uh uh. We’re in our house now, sugar. Not a chance.” 

He wraps his arms around your waist as you both pad over to the front door, opening it to see your brothers standing there. 

“Hey look, it’s Dumb and Dumber,” you muse, and you scrunch your nose with a laugh as Andy rolls his eyes. Cole flips you off with a saccharine smile plastered to his lips as you step to the side to let them in. 

“Just to let you know, Miller, you’re insane for asking our baby sister to move in with you. Woman’s a goddamn menace,” Andrew starts, setting the six pack he brought onto the kitchen counter. 

“That’s rich considering you and Dumber over here decided to harass him about treating me right the day before Emi’s wedding.” 

Joel’s lip twitches up at the corner, and your gaze meets his as you both share an amused look. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, kissing your temple as he turns back to your brothers. 

“She’s my menace. I love it. I love everything about her,” he says, giving you a chaste kiss as you beam at him. 

“Eugh. Get a room,” Andrew says while he scrunches his face up in mock disgust. 

You point at him in an accusatory fashion. “‘Y’know, Andy, you won’t be talking so much shit one of these days when the woman of your dreams swoops in and knocks you on your ass.” 

“Jeez, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?” Cole asks, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Both of you did. Cockblockers.” You brush past them to get a bottle opener for the beers, tossing it to Joel when you find it. 

“Dude, come on!” 

“Fucks sake.” 

Your brothers groan in unison as they pick up exactly what you were putting down. 

A flush of deep red creeps up Joel’s neck and face as he opens beers and doesn’t meet either Andrew or Cole’s gazes. 

“When’s the rest of the Brady Bunch supposed to get here?” You ask, pulling a water bottle out of the fridge for yourself. You uncap it and take a long sip, eyeing your brothers over the frosted plastic. 

“Probably twenty minutes or so. We were already in the neighborhood so we thought we’d swing by early.” 

You nod and shift your gaze back to the boxes. Your family was nice enough to volunteer to help you unpack and get things all organized, along with Tommy and Maria. 

A few hours later and the once-full boxes are broken down and flattened, piling high in the living room. The rest of the stuff you need to unpack is stuff for the bedroom, but you decide to take care of it a little later.

You can’t stop thanking everybody as the day goes on, and in truth, it warms your heart that you have so many people in your corner. 

“I’m happy for you, sweetheart,” your mom says as she nudges you with her hip. 

“Thanks mama.” You give her a side hug and lean in to her just as Joel catches your eye and winks at you. 

Your mom huffs a laugh beside you, looking at you with a knowing smirk. “That man really is your soulmate, baby girl. I’m so glad you’ve found someone who loves you the way he does.” 

“You know, I told him about everything that Christian had put me through. That man looked me in the eyes and told me he’d do everything in his power to protect my heart. I completely opened up my heart to him, mom. That’s something I haven’t done in such a long time because I was so fucking scared of me being hurt again being the outcome.” You finish putting away some baking tools in a kitchen drawer before you sigh and shake your head. 

“It was so clear to me, especially after his accident. I can’t fathom losing him.” You start to choke up on your words as your eyes get watery. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to regain your composure. 

“Oh, honey,” your mom coos, wrapping her arm around you while rubbing your arm lovingly. “I know that time was super difficult for you and you had your reasons as to why you didn’t want to talk about it. It killed me seeing you going through such a tough time. If I could’ve taken your heartache away in a beat I would’ve.” 

Hot tears are fully rolling down your cheeks now and you sniffle, giving her a sad smile. “I love you, mom. Thank you for sticking by my side even during the ugliest of it all. I never meant to push you or dad away. Just know that Joel treats me so well and I don’t have to second-guess things with him. I know it’s only been a few months and it may seem like things are moving fast, but I’ve never had stronger feelings than this for someone. He’s it for me, mom.” 

“I’m so proud of you for opening your heart up again, sweetheart. You deserve this happiness and love. I can’t wait for the day I get to see you up at the altar with him, and, you know, follow in Emi’s footsteps in having a baby.” She gives you a wink and a kiss on the cheek before wiping a tear from your face before rejoining everyone in the living room. 

And it’s at this moment that you feel your heart grow fuller, completely surrounded by love—and, for the first time in years—full contentment and certainty. 

-

The quietness of the usually noisy home the following day was almost unsettling. It’s something that you know will take time to get used to, but luckily you have your Bluetooth speaker and your favorites playlist to keep you company. 

You make a checklist of everything you need to do today, and you’re determined to get it done before Joel and Sarah come home. The first thing on the list is to put away the last of your stuff and tidy up the house, which you get done in a couple of hours. It’s around eleven when you finish, so you decide to freshen up for the day and shower before heading downstairs to see what groceries they have in the fridge to make dinner. 

As soon as you open the fridge, you spot Joel’s forgotten lunch bag. You roll your lips into your mouth before checking your watch again, figuring he’d probably eat lunch soon. You decide to pay him a visit at the firehouse to drop off his lunch and get all of the flattened boxes that lay in the living room to a recycling facility. 

You load up the cardboard in your car and grab Joel’s lunch, starting the twenty minute drive to the firehouse. When you get there, you notice one of the trucks missing from the apparatus bay. Other than that, everything else is in place and the firehouse is completely quiet, except for some faint clinking noises coming from the second level. 

Your mind reels for a second, remembering the first time you walked through these doors. It had only been a few months back, but it seems like a lifetime ago. You truly couldn’t fathom how far you’ve come not only personally, but in your relationship with Joel as well. 

You remember being so uncertain about all of this. Nervous to take the next step. Push yourself to trust Joel and see where the leap of shattered faith would take you. You never in a million years thought it’d land you here, but you were beyond indebted to the universe that it did. 

You climb the stairs to the second floor and see Joel standing with his back to you, washing dishes. You take this time to eye him head-to-toe, admiring his strong build and tall stature as the muscles in his biceps and forearms flexed while he scrubbed away what looked like egg scraps off of a plate. His uniform is fitted to his figure like a glove with the navy blue Austin Fire Department t-shirt tucked into his crisp navy blue slacks with black steel-toed boots to finish off the look. His brown curls are neatly combed, and you just know he’s sporting that one Clark Kent curl in the front that drives you absolutely nuts. 

The dull ache in your core resurfaces from yesterday before you were so rudely interrupted from getting your pussy eaten like it was Joel’s last fucking meal. You nearly moan at the thought and shake your head with a brief sigh before you bite your lip. 

You let out a low whistle and giggle. “Looking good, Miller,” you say, stepping closer to him now. Joel swivels his head to look over his shoulder and his gaze meets yours with surprise written all over his expression. 

“Hey baby,” he says, finishing rinsing off the last of the dishes before turning off the tap and wiping his hands. He makes his way over to you with a grin, planting a sweet kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around your waist securely. “This is a real nice surprise. Watcha doin’ here?” 

You hold up his lunch bag with a smirk. “Someone was in a rush this morning,” you tease. He chuckles and takes his lunch bag from your hand. 

“Guess I was. Didn’t even realize it. Woke up later than I intended to, but leavin’ you behind in bed is just so damn hard.” He kisses your forehead and you sigh in contentment. 

“Tell me about it. The bed gets so damn cold without my own personal furnace right beside me.” You giggle as he tosses his head back with a hearty laugh, and you admire the crow’s feet around his eyes as they crinkle. Everything about this man is just so damn beautiful. 

He fixates his gaze on you once more before sliding his free hand down to your ass to give it a love tap. 

“Thank you for bringin’ this to me. Probably woulda just stole Tommy’s lunch if I didn’t have one.” 

You huff a laugh before you finally look around, noticing that there’s nobody else in the vicinity. 

“Is it just you here?” You ask, and he lets go of you so he can put his lunch bag in the fridge. 

He nods. “Mhm. Everyone’s on a call. Left a couple ‘a minutes before you came here.” 

“Oh,” you grimace. “I’m sorry you’re not out with them,” you say sympathetically. 

“Ain’t a worry, baby. Gives me the chance to tidy the place up and rest my bones. Just glad ‘m not drivin’ you crazy at home anymore.” 

“You didn’t drive me crazy,” you laugh. “I’m already there.” 

“Funny.” 

“I know,” you gleam at him before scrunching your nose, heading toward the steps. 

“Leavin’ already?” He falls in step behind you and follows you down the steps. 

“Don’t wanna bug you too much while you’re at work.” 

He scoffs and shakes his head before stopping you next to the firetruck. “Woman, when you gonna learn that you never bug me?” He’s got a teasing glint in his eyes and you raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Guess you’ll just have to teach me that lesson over…” Your eyes trail down to his lips and the corner of your mouth tugs up in the slightest. “And over.” 

He moves toward you so your back is flush against the sleek red engine, caging you in as he places both hands next to your head on either side. He’s got that look in his eyes that drives you wild, and the dull ache isn’t so dull anymore. It’s a full-fledged throbbing that has your breath picking up in the slightest as you look at him staring back at you with a fire in his eyes. 

“I don’t have a single problem doin’ that, darlin’.” 

You swallow harshly as his eyes flit behind you for a brief second before they settle back on your face. 

“You ever been inside a firetruck?” He asks, cocking his head to the side. He moves closer to you so his body is nearly flush to yours, give or take two or three centimeters. 

Your mouth goes dry and the words you want to say seem to die on your tongue. You opt for shaking your head no. Joel smirks at that, reaching up to pull open the back door to the firetruck. He nods his head upward, and you immediately get what he’s hinting at. 

“After you, baby.” 

You slowly turn around and climb into the back of the truck, looking around in pure curiosity. There’s two captain’s chairs right next to each other, and Joel takes a seat on the one closest to the open door before he shuts it. The sound makes you jump and you look down at him as he tugs on your hand. He spreads his legs wide and the slacks he’s wearing hug his thighs deliciously. Your mouth nearly waters at how fucking good he looks in his element. He pats one of his thighs and you sit down on it, looking around a bit more before he gently grabs your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him. 

“This is actually really cool,” you say, eyes finally settling on his face once again. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, just staring at you with a lustful look in his eyes. You can practically read his mind from a mile away.

“Joel, no, we’re at your job and—”

His lips on your jaw distract you and you suck in a sharp breath as he licks at your pulse point on your neck. You know this is so wrong on so many levels, but you can’t seem to get yourself to stop and think about the consequences. 

“They’re on a call,” he mumbles into your neck. “‘S gonna take ‘em awhile.” 

He grabs your hips and swings your other leg over the other side of his lap so you’re straddling him. You can’t deny the slick heat between your legs and the prospect of doing something insanely inappropriate in a firetruck. This was never on your Bingo Card of Life, but when the opportunity arises, you take it. 

“We never got to finish what we started yesterday,” Joel states matter-of-factly before his warm hand plunges into the front of your leggings. He raises a brow up at you when he realizes you’re going commando today. His middle finger slides through your slit easily, and you moan at the contact as you loll your head to the side. You grip onto his shoulders and lean down, crashing your lips to his in such fervor that it nearly knocks the wind out of you. 

He circles your clit skillfully with the tip of his finger, and you can’t help but grind yourself onto his hand. He’s swallowing every whimper that bubbles up in your throat as you move your hips back and forth, and his free hand grabs your ass before giving it a smack. 

“A little rough today, are we?” Your voice is breathy and you let out a small laugh, slowing down your grinding motions. 

“Is it too much?” He asks, and you nearly want to melt into a damn puddle at how considerate he is being so concerned like this. You grin down at him and smooth out the worry line in his brow, bending down to give him a lengthy kiss. You peck his lips a couple of times before sliding your hands down his chest, feeling his strong heartbeat beneath your fingertips. 

“Not at all. I like it rough.” You smirk at him as you feel his cock straining against his slacks at your words. A low growl rumbles deep in his chest before he closes his eyes for a beat. They snap open again and this time, you’re met with a darkened gaze that’s full of lust and determination. 

“Yeah? How rough?” His hand slides out of your leggings and he swipes the tip of his middle finger across your bottom lip, coating it in your arousal. He coaxes your jaw open to slip his finger into your mouth, and you suck his finger willingly. You taste yourself then before you shoot him with a dead serious stare. 

“Ruin me.” 

He stills at your words for a beat as he sucks in a sharp breath. He grabs the back of your head and crashes his lips to yours, hands now roaming wildly before he’s frantically sliding down your leggings. You’re trying as quickly as possible to blindly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his slacks, and you slide his clothing down his thighs before he presses the head of his cock against your folds. 

Before you can even think to sink down onto him, he grabs you and forces you to face downward toward the seats so you’re ass up and completely exposed to him this way. 

“Such a perfect fuckin’ ass too, baby.” He grabs both of your arms and holds them behind your back, wrapping one hand around both your wrists to keep you steady. You whimper as he slides his cock through your folds once again before he suddenly slams into you. 

Your mouth goes agape and your eyes roll to the back of your skull as the air in your lungs dissipates. You clench hard around him and you feel your mind completely slipping away as you see stars. 

Joel presses his free hand down on your lower back and soothes you lovingly. “Breathe, baby, breathe,” he says through clenched teeth, and you can tell this is a lot for him, too. 

“Move, Joel,” you choke out, sucking in a big breath of air. He does as you say, moving his hips at a brutal pace so he’s pistoning in and out of you. 

You have to concentrate on breathing because it’s damn near impossible. The sound of skin slapping on skin reverberates inside of the firetruck, and your mind was absolutely reeling at how you two were doing something this scandalous. 

You feel Joel’s free hand rub your ass for a brief second before he lands a harsh smack on it, and you cry out in both pain and pleasure as your skin stings from the contact. 

“You like that?” He asks, somehow pounding into you even harder. Your limbs are like noodles at this point and your mind is so foggy. You try to answer him again but nothing comes out. 

“Answer me, sweet girl. You like when I’m rough with you?” 

You whine before you finally find your words again. “Fuck! Yes!”

He lands another harsh smack against your ass and you moan loudly before sucking in a breath when you feel his thumb circle your other hole, and he spits on it. 

“J-Joel—”

“One of these days I’ll fuck you here, too.” His husky voice is full of promise as he slips his thumb into your  asshole, and all you can do is nod as you feel so full like this. 

“Yesyeyes oh, god—”

“He ain’t here right now, baby. Just me.” Joel darkly chuckles as he releases your wrists and uses that hand to slither between your legs, furiously and skillfully rubbing at your swollen, aching clit. 

You brace your arms on the seats below you as you try to hold yourself up, but your legs are shaking uncontrollably. Joel takes his thumb out of you before sliding his hand around your body to hold you up against his body as his relentless pace begins to get sloppy. 

He brings his hand up to your throat and wraps around it, yanking your head back against his shoulder as he looks down at you with a chillingly carnal stare. He almost doesn’t even look like the sweet man you’re in love with, but a darker version that’s consumed his being. 

Seeing this side of him makes you even more hot and bothered and your body easily succumbs to his ministrations, so reactive to his touch and words. 

He uses his thumb from the hand on the throat to tug at your chin, coaxing your jaw open as a wicked grin curls onto his lips before he spits into your mouth. 

The heat that was once a low simmer in your belly is now a fire roaring throughout the veins in your body, igniting you and consuming you as a whole. You swallow before he leans down to kiss you hungrily, and that’s what does it for you. 

You surge over the edge, orgasm crashing over you like waves on a shore. Joel swallows all of your cries and pleads against his lips, groaning at how you’re pulsing around him as you ride through your undoing. He squeezes the sides of your neck as he comes undone, arm moving down to wrap around your waist as his whole body stills. 

You feel his hot spend fill you up with each last harsh thrust he gives you before he stills completely. He kisses your shoulder lovingly before pulling out, groaning into your sweater as he does so. You feel his spend leak down the apex of your thighs, and Joel collects some on his finger as he swipes it through your folds. 

You shiver at his overstimulating touch, looking back at him as he smirks and brings his finger toward your mouth. You eagerly open it for him, moaning around his finger as you get a taste of the both of you. 

“You know, for someone who’s such a sweetheart, you really are a lil’ freaky. Just how I like it,” Joel says with a chest-rumbling laugh. You roll your eyes at him before he kisses your temple and helps you pull up your leggings before he tucks himself back into his boxers and fixes his uniform to look somewhat presentable again, opening the door to get out. 

“You’re one to talk, Miller,” you say, grabbing his hand as he helps you hop down out of the firetruck. 

“I’m an angel. Completely innocent. No idea what you’re insinuatin’, pretty lady.” He wiggles his eyebrows as you roll your eyes at him once more before laughing. 

“Sure, and I’ve got telekinesis.” 

He opens his mouth to retort, but is cut off by the sound of the other fire engine beginning to back up into the empty spot of the bay. 

Everyone starts to unload one-by-one, waving hi to you as they see you and Joel standing there. You’re hoping to god you don’t have a ‘we-just-fucked-in-the-back-of-the-firetruck’ look slapped across your forehead. Luckily, nobody seems to notice, and if they do, they don’t say anything. 

Until Tommy rounds the corner of the smaller truck. He looks at you both and pauses, taking in your appearances. Your face burns and you know if you look down at the ground it’ll give you both away, but anything is better than being under the younger Miller’s scrutinizing stare. 

Everyone’s gone upstairs at this point except for you three, and the sudden howl of laughter Tommy lets out makes you jump. He’s bent over with his hands clutching his knees, face and neck turning red with how hard he’s laughing. He’s got tears in his eyes that he wipes away with a knuckle, and it’s a couple of minutes before he finally calms down and catches his breath again. 

He straightens out and looks between the two of you again, lips wobbling as if he’s trying to hold back more laughter. 

“Oh for fucks sake, out with it.” Joel rolls his eyes at his brother as he wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you back so you stumble into his solid body. 

“You two are unbelievable. You’re not that slick and you know, you both have guilty written across your foreheads. I know what you did, you nasties.” 

“Might I remind you about that time I caught you and Maria—”

“Hey hey hey, this ain’t about me and my girl, this is about you two.” Tommy chuckles as he holds his hands up in surrender. 

“Don’t y’all get enough time at home?” Tommy teases, and you bury your face into Joel’s chest with a groan. 

“Shut up Tommy,” you say. 

“No actually, because you’re always there,” Joel retorts, which causes Tommy to laugh again. 

“Oh please, like that’s stopped y’all before.” 

“Not another word about it, brother,” Joel warns, and Tommy smirks at him. 

“Fine. But ya might wanna take care of that stain on your pants.” 

Joel’s eyes snap down to his slacks the same time yours do, but you don’t see anything.

Fucking Tommy. 

“Bastard,” Joel mumbles. 

You decide to get in on the teasing. You pat Joel’s chest and sigh, shaking your head. “Guess that means no more sex for us, cowboy.” 

You give him a loving kiss on the cheek before you pry yourself out of Joel’s grip and turn to walk out of the firehouse, fighting your giggles as you leave a dumbfounded Joel who calls out ‘you’re not serious, are you?’, and a, yet again, doubled over Tommy with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard behind you. 

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divider by @saradika-graphics

[haikyu-mp4]

Break up with your bf

word count; 738 – f!reader

After high school, Osamu didn’t usually join Atsumu when he was going out despite the occasional invitation he received. However, every now and then he gave in and joined Atsumu with some of his friends, like this instance.

While he liked most of the people Atsumu played with, some of those he hung out with didn’t quite charm Osamu.

You’re not sure how your lowlife of a boyfriend became friends with a couple of professional volleyball players, but here you are. Your boyfriend brought you along to the bar again just to have you as his arm candy, but everyone could see how his eyes travelled to other women while he totally ignored you. You were getting bored, already feeling your interest in dating this guy reduced. He used to be quite sweet, but now you could see he was looking for someone better.

The lights were a little too wild and the music a bit too loud for you to just ignore his behaviour and do something else. You didn’t want to stoop to his level but you were really wasting a night, so for now you went to the bathroom. Your reflection stared back at you and looked straight-up bored. That’s quite enough, your boyfriend could find someone else to bring home tonight. Opening the bathroom door again with a new fire, you briskly walk out of the bathroom and almost reach the main room when you bump into someone.

Osamu let out a small ‘ouf’-sound and then chuckled, loosely grabbing your waist so you wouldn’t trip. You rested a hand on his chest and held your breath. “That’s some power, who are we beating up?” he joked. Your shoulders relaxed and you chuckled along with him, shaking your head before looking at him.

“Don’t worry about it, pretty boy,” you answered, returning some of the energy you felt from him.

“Really? I was hoping you’d say your boyfriend over there. Think me and my brother could take him.” he said, glancing over his shoulder in the direction of your group and dropping his hands from your waist.

When did he notice? You think back to the things your boyfriend did tonight right in front of the others. His hand on that one girl’s ass. The other girl he complimented while leaning over to the twins, one of whom had looked over at you while looking like a question mark. Your mind was telling you it was the one you were talking to now. You sighed in disbelief and considered whether or not you should answer. The music played over your heads and every other minute, someone would bump into either of you. The twins had introduced themselves at the pregame, talking to you for as long as their attention span could manage when the rest of the guys were trying to get them to drink. “Osamu, right?” he nodded, about to say something when you pretended to stretch your arms. “I’ll get him myself, but you’re welcome to join me when I leave,” you said.

“I’ll get our jackets,” he announced and you happily handed him your jacket number. With a new fire under your ass, you barged over to your group’s table, tapped your boyfriend on the shoulder and waited for him to turn around. Lucky for him, you weren’t actually going to beat him up, you were just tempted to.

Instead, you simply said “I’m breaking up with you,” before turning around and walking away. The bastard didn’t even attempt to stop you and Atsumu was cheering when you walked off.

Osamu waited by the entrance, a smirk growing on his face when he heard his brother’s cheers. “I take it that went well?” he asked and handed over your jacket.

“I want food.”

That’s how Osamu fell in love. And also how the two of you ended up at McDonalds. You stayed there for over an hour just talking and munching on your food, ex-boyfriend long since forgotten.

And maybe, though not if anybody asked, Osamu ended up in your bed the next morning. He’s holding his phone to his ear, listening as Atsumu told him about how the girl they talked to at the pregame had broken up with that idiot of a boyfriend she had, all while Osamu drew patterns on your bare back as you rested on his chest.

He’s glad he joined Atsumu for drinks, just this once.

masterlist

[j2hoes]

Hopes And Fears - Part Five. (Wally Clark x Reader)

Wordcount: 2.9K

Y/N's death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can't even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.

Warning: Mature Language, Sexual Assault, Murder

A/N: Part five is finally here and guess what? Without spoiling anything, things are ramping up a notch. This part is pretty much just pure fluff so I hope you enjoy.

Previous Parts: One. Two. Three. Four.

“I was murdered.”

Nerves course through my body as I feel the stares of each ghost piercing into me. Daring to note their expressions, I notice that not one of them appears to be judging me. Mr Martin’s expression appears curious, Wally a combination of shock and sympathy, Charlie proud, even Rhonda offers me a comforting smile.

“I’m still not ready to talk about it but now you know.”

“Thank you for sharing that with the group Y/N. Do you feel better, like a weight has been lifted from you now that you’ve started the process to move on?” Mr Martin asks, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, encouraging me to open up more to the group of ghosts.

“Not really.” I state, allowing myself to sigh and slump further back into the chair. “I feel the same. You bang on about how opening up will make me feel better and allow me to move on every single session but I don’t feel like I’m moving on.”

“Well it’s like Mr Martin says, moving on and processing our deaths take time. You’ve been dead what three weeks. We’ve all had years to process these things, trust us, you will feel lighter eventually.” Charlie adds, attempting to make me feel better.

“I mean yeah, you may feel upset or angry now and that’s valid but it’ll get easier. Hell, I was killed sixty odd years ago and I’m still pissed about it.” Rhonda states, pulling yet another lollipop from the pocket of her trousers.

“I’m not upset anymore.” I push back with a subtle roll of my eyes. “And I’m not angry. I’m fucking enraged. Three weeks and not a single arrest, how hard is it to obtain a shred of evidence and send the monsters that did this to me to jail?”

“So there were multiple perpetrators?” Mr Martin questions.

“I see what you’re doing but I’ve already told you that I’m not ready to tell the story yet.”

“It was worth a shot.” Mr Martin smiles, turning his attention to the rest of the group. “Does anybody have any supportive words for Y/N? Any advice they wanna give?”

“I know it’s probably not what you wanna hear right now but it’s nice to have another murder victim around. You get it.” Rhonda shares, a comforting gleam in her eyes. “And for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry for the way I treated you before cherry pop. It wasn’t cool of me.”

I can’t help but smile at her words. “Thanks Rhonda, I’m sorry for yelling at you, I’ve realized I need to learn how to control my emotions better.”

“Aww, are you two about to become best friends?” Charlie teases, a cheesy grin plastered across his face.

“Shut up Charlie.”

“Shut up Charlie.”

Rhonda and I both state at the same time, we share a knowing look, both attempting to suppress our smiles at the humor of the situation.

“You know we’re all here for you, take as much time as you need.” Wally finally speaks, catching my eye as the words slip out of his mouth. “And I’m sorry that happened to you.”

As Mr Martin wraps up  the session, I find my eyes continuously wandering over to Wally. Who coincidentally happens to always be looking in my direction. The butterflies returning to my stomach once again which nowadays seems to be a regular occurrence, no matter how hard I try to quash it.

As everybody begins to filter out of the gym, Charlie and I find ourselves being the last to leave. Which results in us having to stack the chairs and put them away.

“So, how are things?” Charlie asks, an eager tone to his voice which suggests to me that he is looking for a specific answer to the question. Though I’m not entirely sure what that answer is.

“Other than the obvious troubles that I have weighing on my mind, things have been pretty good recently.” I tell the boy, smiling as I think back on all the time that Wally and I have spent together.

“Oh come on Y/N. I know something is going on between you and that loveable jock of ours, so spill.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I spit out quickly, turning my back to Charlie as I add another chair to the stack in front of me, hoping he doesn’t see the blush rising on my cheeks.

“I’m not stupid, I see the way you two look at each other.” Charlie tells me, leaning himself against my stack of chairs so I have no option but to face him. “That boy is like a lovestruck little puppy every time you’re around, it’s adorable if not mildly sickening.”

“I-”

“All I’m saying is, coming from someone who lost their chance of love, don’t miss out because of whatever’s holding you back. Most of us don’t get a second chance like this.”

His words strike me right in the chest, realizing that he could in fact be right. “Wow Charlie, that’s actually incredibly wise.” 

“Well I’m not just a pretty face.” He jokes to which I slap him lightly on the arm despite laughing along with him.

Charlie’s words stick with me for the rest of the day, jumping about in my mind with no indication of leaving anytime soon. Even as I hang out with Wally in one of the empty dance studios, I find myself distracted by the thoughts racing around my head.

“Are you sure you’re okay, you seem like something’s bothering you.” Wally shouts through to me, as I rummage around the locker room.

“Yeah, fine. Never been better, I just can’t seem to find-” My words trail off as I find exactly what I was looking for. 

Pulling the black sports bag from the bottom of the pile, I smile triumphantly, tugging open the zipper to find all my dance clothes. It’s not exactly my dream to be wearing workout clothes for all of eternity but I’d rather that than the tiny cheerleader uniform that I have been stuck in up until now.

“You okay in there?”

I remain silent as I tug off my Split River uniform, pulling on a black sports playsuit with a little white cardigan and calf length white socks. 

“Y/N, you okay?” Wally asks again as I tug my sneakers back on to my feet.

After quickly checking myself over in the mirror to double check that I look somewhat presentable, I dramatically pull open the curtain, posing in front of it as I show Wally my change of clothes. Doing my best to put on a mini fashion show despite the outfit not exactly being the most fashionable.

As I walk towards the dark haired boy, I notice the way he sits up straight as I get closer to him, no longer slumped against the wall. The corners of his mouth are tugged upwards as I jokingly strut towards him, to which he claps enthusiastically.

“God, I feel ten times better now that I’m out of that stupid cheer uniform.” I admit, dropping myself down in front of Wally, crossing my legs beneath me.

“You liked cheerleading though, didn't you?”

“Yeah of course, doesn’t mean I had to like the uniforms though.” I confess with a shrug. “Besides, I felt kind of icky wearing the clothes I died in.”

“Well, at least now you’re dressed for an impromptu workout at any time.” Wally chuckles.

Although I smile along with him, I still can’t help thinking about what Charlie said to me. Gazing at him now, I’ve never felt more sure that I liked the footballer sat across from me, and yet I still can’t find the bravery within me to make a move. Not daring to cross a line nor wanting to ruin the budding friendship that we have managed to cultivate.

“Hey, how do you express your emotions?” I ask, desperately wanting to distract myself from overthinking my feelings towards the jock.

“What do you mean?” Wally asks curiously, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to understand the question.

“Like, when you’re so pent up with emotions, whether it’s anger or sadness or grief, how do you release that?” 

“I used to play football when I was alive, it was the only thing I really knew how to do, or that I was good at. It gets a lot of rage out though. We have field day now, it’s where we just smash and break stuff on the field but that’s a rare occurrence to be honest. When Mr Martin thinks we deserve it.” Wally explains, though when he notices the slight confusion on my face he continues. “I’d imagine those don’t really help you though right? Got a lot of feelings you wanna let out?”

“Whenever I felt too much before, I’d dance, it let me blow off some steam and tired me out enough to not feel as overwhelmed.” I tell him, reminiscing on my previous life. “I don’t know if that would help me now though, plus I always liked to have a partner or at least someone to join me so I wasn’t so alone.”

We remain in silence for a few moments, the two of us contemplating ways to allow me to blow off all the rage that I have residing within me. I place my head in my palm as I struggle to come to a satisfactory option.

“Rhonda swears by sex.” Wally blurts out, my head snapping up at his words and his expression swiftly changes to one of embarrassment as he realizes what he just said. “Not that I’m suggesting we have sex. I mean I wouldn’t be opposed to it but I’m sure that’s not the only option. I just thought, well if Rhonda swears by it then it must be a good option right but I don’t know, it was a stupid suggestion, I-”

“Wally, have you and Rhonda?” I daren’t bring myself to finish the question, partially because I’m afraid of the answer but partially because I don’t trust myself to not confess my feelings for him, especially after learning he wouldn’t be opposed to having sex with me. I mean sure, I know he was rambling and it wasn’t exactly an admission of his feelings towards me however it does have my insides feeling all gooey.

“No! No, god, no.” He exclaims, putting emphasis on the words to ensure that I’m understanding correctly. “I love her, don’t get me wrong but she’s like a sister to me. I’m maybe ninety percent sure that she sleeps with one of the goth kids that died in the 90s when there was that gas leak in the science lab.”

I nod my head slowly, unsure of how to carry on the conversation from here as it has taken a somewhat awkward turn. Avoiding eye contact with Wally, I focus instead on picking the skin around my fingernails, nervously biting the inside of my cheek at the same time.

“What if I danced with you?” Wally suggests, causing me to look at him with raised brows, surprised that he would offer. “I suppose it’d be more like you teaching me, but I promise to try my best.”

“Really?” 

“Sure, how hard can it be?”

With a beaming smile on my face, I instantly jump to my feet, running over to the stereo to press play. Wally follows me to the center of the room, watching as I wildly jump around to the sound of the Now That’s What I Call Music cd. He lets out a boyish laugh at my antics and I begin to feel the stress falling off my shoulders almost immediately.

“So what do you wanna start with?” I ask, taking in his hands in mine and forcing him to twist his body side to side, which he does so awkwardly.

“I don’t know. You’re supposed to be the teacher.” Wally replies sarcastically, causing me to drop his hands in feigned annoyance.

“You know what, just for that little comment, we’ll start with a classic pirouette.”

Before Wally even has time to argue, I elegantly twist, spinning delicately in a string of turns, to the jock’s surprise. Coming to a stop, I can’t hide the grin on my face at the fact his jaw is practically on the floor.

“There’s no way I can do that.” He argues, attempting to worm his way out of the task.

“You’ll never know until you try.” I tease, watching as he rolls his eyes before offering me a very obviously fake smile.

I’m unable to contain my laughter as I watch his very pathetic attempt, to which he simply spins in a very ungraceful circle before stumbling awkwardly. Managing to catch himself before hitting the floor, much to my amusement.

“I’m too awkward for this. Football is more my thing.” Wally complains, unimpressed by the hilarity I find at him failing.

“You know, nowadays a lot of footballers actually take ballet to improve their game.” I tell him, though I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “Okay, I’ll go easy on you now.”

Despite being no good at dancing whatsoever, Wally tries his very best with every move. Stumbling around the room like a newborn deer, following along with every instruction I give and imitating every different move I show him.

I must admit, it is incredibly cute that he is doing this for me. Wally has zero skills needed to be a dancer. Ungraceful, heavy footed, awkward. Yet he keeps going in order to allow me to blow off the steam that I need to and I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to him.

“Okay, there is one thing I want to try before we finish.” The footballer admits, a cheeky smile settled upon his face. “We have to do the Dirty Dancing move.”

“Oh do we now?” I laugh, finding it highly entertaining that he wants to try a move from a cringey 80s film.

“What? Dirty Dancing is a classic, we watch it pretty much every film night and everybody that has seen that movie wants to try that move at least once.” He confesses, trying to explain his reasoning as a way to avoid any embarrassment.

“Sure okay, just promise not to drop me.”

“I’d be a fool to drop you.”

I shake my head at his words as I walk a short distance away from him. Nerves bubble in my stomach, fearing that this could be an epic disaster and I could go tumbling across the floor. Yet as I run and jump into his arms, I’ve never felt safer than when he holds me tightly above his head. Strong hands gripping my waist hard, ensuring that he won’t let me fall. 

I giggle excitedly when he begins to lower me, holding me close to his body so that I am face to face with him though not quite placing me on the ground. The intensity of his stare makes me feel in a way that I’ve never felt with anyone else before and for the first time since death, I feel safe. I feel comfortable. I feel brave.

Once again, Charlie’s words ring through my head and before I can stop myself my hands are holding his cheeks softly. With every ounce of bravery within me and despite some part deep inside of me screaming no, fearing a repeat of previous situations, I hesitantly brush my lips over his. He’s so gentle, allowing me to lead so as to not push me too far.

Wally’s lips are soft against mine, interlocking slowly and delicately. My stomach feels crazy, the butterflies feel as though they’re trying to escape and I push myself further into the kiss. Allowing passion to take over and quashing the fear as much as physically possible. My arms slide from Wally’s cheeks to his hair, raking my fingers through the dark locks as my legs wrap around his torso in order to provide more stability.

I find myself desperately yearning for more, kissing the footballer with such intensity and heat, I didn’t know I was physically capable of. However, as his hands slowly move from holding my waist to situating themselves just beneath my ass, I struggle to fight the fear and worry residing within me.

As much as I don’t want to, I slowly pull myself away from the dark haired boy. Unwrapping my legs from him, signaling to be placed on the ground, which Wally does so gently. Even as I step away from him, he’s gazing at me with such awe that I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet.

“As amazing as that was, I think that’s as far as I want to go for now.” I admit, shame coursing through my veins making me unable to look at Wally afraid that he will judge me, or even worse, become angry. “Is that okay?”

My voice is meek and quiet, terrified of the response I am about to receive. Yet, when Wally’s hand ever so softly touches my chin, raising it to look at him, he has quite possibly the sweetest look on his face. Offering me a warm smile. 

“Of course, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” 

Heart racing, a sense of accomplishment washes over me. I’m one step closer to processing and I feel a renewed hope that perhaps I can have a normal afterlife. Or at the very least attempt to live peacefully in this eternity without suffering for the rest of time.

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[luveline]

If you’re looking for anything zombie!au for Steve, I’ve got a request! I sent it a while ago so if you don’t like the idea, please feel free to ignore!

I love that Steve has his own platonic soulmate—Robin—and has that person that will always be his friend no matter the circumstances. Their relationship means everything to me. I’d love to see reader maybe reunite with her “Robin”, as in her best friend and see her find that comfort in her person. Steve gets to see a new side of her and falls in love with her even more <3

zombie au —you reunite with your Robin. fem, 1.5k

“I’m grody.” 

“You’re not grody.” 

“I have greasy hair.” 

You shrug. Steve’s hair is a tad greasy, but it’s nothing you wouldn’t run your hands through. “Steve, I don’t think anybody alive today is judging you for having greasy hair.” 

You wanna call him baby, despite how foreign it can feel on your lips. He’s being adorable today, but the moment to dote on him passes quickly. Robin’s halfway across the campsite, her scratchy, mellifluous voice a ringer for her. You’d recognise it anywhere. 

“New recruits!” she’s saying, her head turning past her friend Sarah to spot you and Steve as you approach. “Hey, guys! Look, I lived.” 

Steve jogs until the gap between them is closed. “Hey, what did you do to your face?” he asks worriedly, his hand rising. 

She ducks away from his touch. “I got totally sliced.” 

“By who?” 

“This girl, Mina, she thought I was a geek, how gross is that?” Robin smiles at you. “I’m not that ugly.” 

“You’re not ugly,” you say. 

“I know!” 

Steve grins. “I wouldn’t be too sure.” 

“I know you don’t think I’m ugly, Steven.” 

You’re hit by two waves of memory, one after the other. The name Mina is hard to ignore: back then, before the end of the world, you had one good friend, and her name was Mina Delecki. You’d get into little spats like Steve and Robin do occasionally, but your friendship wasn’t as sarcastic. Which isn’t to say they aren’t loving, they are. Steve gives her arm a squeeze and promises to help her clean out the wound, and it reminds you of Mina and her scabbed knees. 

“She was nice, besides the attempted murder. They looked like they haven’t eaten in weeks though, the whole group, I’m surprised they didn’t try and rob us.”

“Well, not everyone is evil,” Steve says, wiping Robin’s cheek with his sleeve. “You’re okay?” 

“I’m fine. Does it look bad?” 

“Might need a butterfly stitch,” he says, grimacing. “It’s definitely gonna scar. Where is this Mina? I’d like to give her a piece of my mind.” 

“Steve, it was an accident.” 

“Well, maybe she should be aware that accidents aren’t usually subdermal.” 

“That’s a big word for you.” 

You roll your eyes. “Guys, come one. Did you eat?” you ask Robin. “Let’s go find dinner at the mess.” 

“Sure you’re okay?” Steve asks quietly. 

Robin lets him dote, for once. He slings his arm over her shoulder and steers her to the mess —a porta-building with a designated team of cooks reminiscent of your setup back at the College. There’s a small line by the door, but it’s not as busy inside as you’re expecting. You can spot the newbies from their skinniness, and their dirty clothes, but it looks like some of them have had a wash by the river, dripping hair wetting the backs of their necks. One girl laughs into her bowl of stew. Another cries. 

You know how it feels to be starving and afraid and then suddenly dropped into a community. It’s so scary, but it’s such a relief. 

“You wanna sit down?” Steve asks, rubbing Robin’s back before he lets her go. “What about you?” he asks you, turning away from her to offer you the same nice smile. “I can get yours.” 

“I’m alright.” 

Robin slugs off to a table at the back. “She looks really tired,” Steve says.

They take Robin because she’s slight; she can fit into places a lot of people can’t. But Robin wasn’t built for fighting, she still isn’t, and she’s obviously tired. 

“Well, maybe you should start putting your foot down,” you murmur, “you’re her family, so… if you say she shouldn’t go, maybe she won’t. And I don’t mean asking her not to. Maybe you should fight.” 

“I don’t wanna fight with her.” 

“Somebody took a slice out of her face,” you say. 

You know Robin likes you, even loves you, but it doesn’t feel like your place to get into that stuff. If somebody is gonna convince her to stay, it’ll have to be him. 

“I’ll talk to her about it.” He brings a hand to your waist. “I will, don’t worry. I don’t like it either.” 

“Your hand is cold?” you say. 

Steve tucks it quick as a flash behind your back, brushing your shirt up to touch naked skin. “Is it?” 

“You jerk.” You laugh louder than you mean to and step away from his touch. “This is why you need dinner, you’re freezing to death.”

Steve tries to get you again. He grabs you at the side, the chill of his hands palpable as he pulls you into him. Not to hold, but to be close while you wait, to take up as little room as possible. You both prefer proximity to each other. You let him warm his hands on your hips. 

You’re looking up into his face with a smile when someone says your name. 

A melodic voice. 

She says your name again and you feel it click. Mina’s on your mind, that’s all —yet you turn, and a familiar face is peeking out from behind wet, fine hair. An apocalypse, and somehow Mina Delecki hasn’t aged a day. 

“Mina?” you ask, holding Steve’s wrist tight on instinct. 

She rushes forward to meet you. Steve’s defences go up, his expression hardening as he pushes you behind him, but you slink around his rigid arm with a happy shout, “Mina!” 

Steve lets you go. You weave around a full table of onlookers with pushed out chairs and meet her in the middle, where she throws herself at you, a whirlwind of smell and touch. “Holy shit,” she says, sounding immediately wrought with tears, and joy, too. “I can’t believe you’re here!” 

You’re shocked out of speaking. 

Mina leans back. She holds your cheek, beaming so brightly, you’d forgotten how pretty she was. She is. 

“You’re alive!” she says, squishing your cheeks. “You’re here! Y/N, I looked for you!” 

“You did?” 

“I went to your house, you weren’t there, and we had to leave. I’m sorry, I thought… I missed you.” 

You’re further surprised. You did? you almost ask. “I missed you too.” 

She flings her arms around you for another hug. “I worried about you. Were you all alone?” 

“No, uh, no, no,” —you shake your head against her— “I had Steve. I have Steve. What about you?” 

“Well, my brother made us go to the Lake, but there was nothing that way, so we came back here. Thank god we did, ‘cos you’re here, this whole place, there’s so many people.” 

“There used to be more.” 

Mine squeezes you. “I missed you so much.” 

Your eyes finally burn. “I missed you too,” you say, hiding as your voice cracks. 

You and Mina just hug. 

Your shoulders give an embarrassing shake under her hands. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” she says, rubbing your back, her tone light, loving, and one you already know. “Don’t cry. I’m happy to see you, too.” 

“I’m so happy.” 

“That’s what I just said.”

You pull away from her to scrub your face. You’re laughing as you turn to Steve, excited, elated to introduce him. “Mina, this is Steve,” you say, taking his elbow into your hand, comforted by his arm slinking behind you. He pats your back. “He’s my boyfriend.” 

“King Steve?” 

Steve winces. “Just Steve.” 

“He’s nice now,” you say, grinning, “total reformation.” 

“Hi, Steve. My girl kept you alive, I’m guessing?” Mina gives him a smile, too. She’s only teasing, and Steve picks up on it easily. 

“She did… Hey, you’re not the Mina that cut a chunk out of Robin’s cheek, right?” 

“Hard to say. Which one’s Robin?” 

—

“Sorry, does it hurt?” Steve murmurs. 

Robin hugs her knees to her chest. “It’s fine, just be fast, please.” 

Steve knows it hurts. He’s dousing her wound with an antiseptic, he thinks it’s iodine, doesn’t really know. It’s not brown, but it smells strong. He washes the outside of the wound with a sterile gauze soaked in bottled water, and he pats it dry. The butterfly bandage he applies sticks at an awkward angle, but he pulls it closed tightly. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs again. 

“It’s fine. At least she got a friend out of it.” 

You sit a couple of metres away with some of the reserves of your candy haul and a few things you won’t miss. Socks, a sweater, a pack of chamomile soaps. Mina doesn’t want any of it, she just can’t seem to stop touching you. You’ve been holding hands for hours. 

“She seems really nice,” Steve says. 

“Gonna get jealous like you did with Eddie?” 

“She didn’t know Eddie before, she just likes him, which is weird.” 

“Not that weird.” 

“Maybe I am jealous,” he says. It’s strange to watch you hold hands with a new person, but it’s not like you and Robin haven’t done the same. The trust between you has solidified, and you use each other like pillows when you want to. “I don’t think I am? It’s nice to see her like that.” 

“Maybe you weren’t jealous at all, you just don’t like Eddie.” 

Steve laughs. 

There’s something about you, sitting there smiling, watching you talk a mile a minute as you explain something to her with no fear of judgement. You’re completely relaxed. 

“It’s actually really nice… to see her like that.” 

“You’re smiling like a creeper,” Robin says. 

“Whatever.” 

[thewulf]

It's Everything || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - Hello:) hope you're well and having a good week:) I was wondering if i could get a Jake Seresin x reader where they're friends but they both feel something more. Jake always teases her cause he likes to see her blush... Read Rest Here

A/N: This just felt like a 3x1 so it is! The three times Jake was sweet on you and the one time he had to do something about it. I really like this one :)

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Y/N

Word Count: 4.8k +

TW: Talks of assault, men being men, blood

The Hard Deck

“There she is.” Jake’s overly pretty face broke out into a smile seeing you walk up to the group looking more than exasperated. How could you not though? The entire dagger squad was. You guys were more than exhausted. Yet here you were. Drinking beer on a Tuesday night, “Worried you weren’t going to make it out tonight darlin’.” He shot you a wink as you sat across from him taking some airmen’s spot.

You couldn’t help but to smile at the sweet boy who’d captured your heart without a second thought, “I wasn’t going to.” You hummed grabbing for his beer knowing he’d let you take a drink before getting one for yourself.

His eyes raised in curiosity as he drunk you in. Even tired you were prettier than you knew. He couldn’t believe some lucky guy hadn’t caught your attention yet. He was only bidding his time. He didn’t really want to make a serious move until after the mission. He could make it another few weeks, maybe.

“What brought you here then pretty girl? My handsome face?” Shameless. He was diabolically shameless. Leaning forward you caught the slight tilt of his head as he watched you. He always seemed to have an eye on you.

And damn your genetics for giving you the rosiest cheeks that only seemed to darken when you talked with him. You caught the snicker of his longtime military buddy, Payback. He patted Jake’s back before walking off knowing that as soon as you walked in all of Jake’s attention was only going towards once place, you. He was an absolute damn sucker for you, and he’d only known you for a little over two weeks.

It started with a smart-ass comment back to Rooster that caught his attention the first day in class. You fully grabbed it when you became the first pilot to actually take down Maverick, even before he did. He knew he had to get to know you when you put him in his place after he knowingly screwing you over in the air. But damn, did it feel good to be getting some attention from you. Even if you were yelling with all your might.

“Something like that.” You mumbled out knowing there wasn’t a use in lying to the man you’d too hopelessly fallen for. He’d figure it out one way or another, he always seemed to. It didn’t help you weren’t the best liar either.

He grinned all too thrilled with your admission, “Hmm, is that so? You came out of the house for me?”

Rolling your eyes you took another sip of his beer, “Well, you invited me. And I said I’d come. So, here I am.” Trying to play it off as coy as possible giving him a bashful smile in the process.

“Since you’re here then, can I get you beer sweetheart?” He played along with you

Nodding your head, you finally relaxed back into your seat, “I wouldn’t stop you.”

He shook his head stifling the laugh that came out. He knew how he acted around you and he tried his hardest to not act like a middle school girl with the biggest crush but you… you brought out a giddiness he never knew could come from relationships. After his college girlfriend shattered his heart he swore off relationships altogether. Afterall, he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. But then you walked into his life. You seemed to challenge his harder than anybody had before but did it in such a way that he wanted to be better. You kept him on his toes, in the best way of course. He was falling faster and faster day in and day out. And he didn’t know how to stop it. He didn’t think he wanted to stop it.

Before walking away, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. Always taking a chance at giving you a soft touch. He simply craved it. He realized it after Rueben pointed out that he was always trying to sit next to you in class. He’d tried to avoid the topic of you, but Rueben knew. He knew Jake was into you, really into you. Jake made sure never to cross any boundaries with you, always asking before doing.

Jake set the light beer down in front of you before sitting in the seat across from you, “You did good today. Set the fastest time yet.” He spoke as his eyes roamed your face.

You sighed. You did set the fastest time. Just over two and a half minutes. But it still wasn’t good enough. And you didn’t really think you had much more to give, “Not good enough.”

He bit back the frown that wanted to come through, “Cut yourself some slack.”

You finally made eye contact with him again. Just that damn gaze could set your cheeks on fire. He had to know. You hadn’t admitted it out loud, but your face gave you dead away.

“Do you?” You asked him. You weren’t trying to be an ass but you this was you. Always challenging him.

He shook his head quickly letting the smile come through, “No.”

“See.” You took a long sip of beer hoping it’d hit you sooner than it probably would.

He set his glass down at this same time you did. Again, he leaned forward, “You know as well as me that you’ll be the first to get there in 2 minutes. Give yourself a week. You’ll figure it out.” He took your hand that lingering by your half drunken glass of beer. Giving it another gentle squeeze, you felt all the love from him in that moment. How in the hell was this the same man you’d heard so many stories about?

“Awfully confident in me Seresin.” Your eyes watched his thumb rub against your pointer finger hoping to give you an ounce of comfort.

“Come on darlin’. You’re the most confident pilot I know. You’ve got a reason to be too. Don’t get soft of me know.”

You scrunched your nose before shaking your head, “I’m not going soft. I just don’t know if it’s physically possible Jake. I’m beat. And I’m still fifteen fucking seconds off the mark.” You looked down in defeat. Damn that jet for always getting the better of you. Your favorite weapon that always seemed to hurt you too.

“Mav did it.” Jake laced his fingers in with yours wanting to feel

“Mav’s Mav.”

“And you’re you.” He shrugged your comment off like it was nothing. Jake was never for building people up. Especially not the people that he was competing against. But damn, you showed up out of nowhere and completely rocked his world. Changed his viewpoint.

Rolling your eyes, you avoided his gaze sure your face was already red as a summer ripe tomato, “Flirt.”

He hummed in agreement, “Yeah sure. But I think you like it.” He knew it was a risk. He might’ve been crossing a line you hadn’t set. His heart began to hammer in his chest as the anxiety of what he just said rang through his ears.

He caught your eyes as you looked up in surprise, “I do. That I do.”

Bob’s House

You walked through the front door of Bob’s house the next Sunday night wearing one of Jake’s old Cowboy’s jerseys that he swore wasn’t too big for you. Setting down the tray of cookies you picked up from the grocery store down you turned to Jake, “Alright, who are we rooting for?”

He grinned as he took the jacket of your hands with the intention of hanging it up for you, “We went through this in the car darlin’.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed Jake. You know I don’t watch football!” A quiet laugh escaped from your mouth

He shook his head while laughing with you, “The Cowboys. America’s team. Even got a star to prove it.” He smiled with achievement pointing to the star on his chest.

Bob walked in hearing the tail end of the conversation, “Don’t listen to him Y/N. Can’t believe you made her wear that.” He pointed to your jersey, “She should be wearing a cheese head. Packer green.”

“That’s not right Bob.” Jake shook his head quickly.

“Oh boy.” You laughed at the both of them giving the other a stare down, “You guys take this seriously then?”

Jake smiled at your cluelessness to it all. It amazed him that somebody so in the trenches with all these men would be so clueless to the NFL. The thing that consumed eighteen weeks of all the guys lives ever year.

“It’s a good escape.” Bob spoke up before heading out of the kitchen, “Come on. The loveseat is saved for you guys.”

Jake laughed at your brightening face. He’d found it so endearing about you. No matter how hard you seemed to try it never stopped the cute little blush that came upon your face when somebody mentioned the both of you together. Jake loved showing off the growing relationship between the two of you. You were much shyer about it than he was. Not ashamed, no never. Just shy as all get out.

Jake held his hand out for you to take. He noticed the slight hesitation as your fingers laced together with his. Your mind never let you enjoy the small things as it started reeling from what all your dagger squad members could think. In reality they knew the two of you had a thing for the other. Jake was rather obvious about it. Nat even cornered you at one point in the week demanding answers which you really couldn’t give. You didn’t have a clue what to label it. You did admit you had feelings for him to her.

Your worst fears didn’t come to life as nobody even really noticed the two of you joining the watch party. You took a seat at the open loveseat leaving Jake more than enough room.

Waiting for you to get comfortable he slid into the seat right next to you before snaking his arm behind your head letting you know it would be more than fine to cuddle on up to him if you wished. He knew you were hesitant about the entire thing. He wasn’t dumb. He didn’t want to scare you off before he even had a chance. He’d take it slow and strategic. However he needed to.

“Here.” He grabbed the blanket on the headrest and threw it over mostly you, with a little bit covering half of him, “I know how cold you get.” He waited and was more than happy to see his favorite blush coat your cheeks.

“Nothing gets past you, does it Jake?” You turned to him scooting just a bit closer, letting your leg brush against his.

He nodded, “Nothing you do does sweetheart.” He shot you a wink knowing just how mad it’d drive you. He found utter enjoyment in seeing you react to his advances. He knew if he was doing the right thing or not. You were so much gentler than any of the other girls he usually went for. A fucking menace in the skies and a levelheaded pilot on the ground. He knew he’d never grow tired of getting to know you and your quirks. He just knew he’d grow to love every single one of them. Trouble didn’t begin to describe this situation.

Slowly over the course of the game, you sunk closer and closer to Jake. You cheered when he did and booed the same. Watching more of Jake than the game. It wasn’t lost on him. He caught your glances a few times. He tried not to look because it spooked you. It would take a while again before he saw you out of the corner of his eye watching him again. He liked when you looked at him. He wanted to know what you were thinking. Dying to know really.

He grabbed at your hand just after halftime, underneath the blanket for your sake. He liked it when you were relaxed and at ease. He really just liked you. Wanting you to be happy was all.

Near the end of the game, he gave your shoulder a squeeze garnering your attention to him. He smiled as his eyes landed on yours, “Yeah Jake?” You whispered trying not to have any watching eyes on the two of you.

“I haven’t told you how pretty you look tonight.” He whispered in your ear for discretion.

It’s like he was trying to kill you right then and there. God, you adored the man far more than you should, “Thanks Jake.” You turned your head towards his catching his intense gaze once more.

“Anytime beautiful.” He shot you a wink before draping his arm around your shoulder once more. He pulled you into his side a touch more. He watched as you finally got comfortable enough to lay you head on his side. You were tired after all. It was close to eleven on a Sunday night.

“You’re so sweet too me.” You whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Of course the two of you would be having this kind of conversation within earshot of half your class.

He shook his head, “I disagree. Not sweet enough. Just you wait darlin’.”

You looked at him curiously, “For what?”

“You’ll see. Gotta impress you and all that. For when I ask you to be my girlfriend.” Jake was pushing the boundaries and he loved seeing your face light up

“Really?”

“Really, really.  We just gotta get through the mission first. Can’t give you any distractions.” And Jake was serious. He couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt at his expense or vice versa.

You nodded your head quickly before diverting your eyes away from him. Damn. He really did like you. It might not be too good to be true.

“Alright.” You breathed out.

He smiled giving your shoulder one last comforting squeeze, “Just you wait.”

Before A Training Exercise

“Rooster, Hangman. You two are up first today. Winner picks punishment.” Mav spoke knowing exactly what he was doing by pairing the two men. The manual shut with a thud dismissing the class to get changed. Mornings were meant for class and the afternoons were jet time.

You turned to Jake sitting next to you giving him a quick once over. Trying your best to hide the look of concern on your face you turned away quickly. Instead of saying anything you opted to pack up your bag. Why’d you have to make things so awkward suddenly? Why’d you have to go liking him? It was easy the first week when your heart was clueless to the fact you’d fall in love with the man. Now you acted all weird around him all the sudden. It’s like your brain forgot how to communicate with him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked quietly next to you, leaning closer so nobody would hear. Nobody would hear though because almost everybody was gone. Just the two of you and a few stragglers near the door remained in the classroom.

You shook him off trying your best to play it off as nonchalantly as possible, “Nothing’s wrong.”

Giving you a rather dramatic frown, he put a gentle hand on your shoulder, so you’d stop being so distracted with your bag and focus back on him. Again, Jake wasn’t stupid. He began noticing the small tweaks in the way you acted. The way you began to close off to his advances. Like you were suddenly so nervous around him. He had a sneaking suspicion as too why, but he didn’t want to presume. He needed to knock down those walls you’d been slowly building back up. Lucky for you, Jake was up for the challenge. He was convinced he’d do damn near anything for you.

Once your eyes finally landed on his he spoke up, “Y/N… come on. I know you better than that.”

Your heart rate rapidly picked up with that damn look he was giving you. So soft and sweet. A look he’d never be caught giving on base if he wasn’t absolutely sure all the guys were gone. A look seemingly only reserved for you and only you.

“Just, be careful out there, alright?” You asked, nearly begged him.

A small smile rose from the face full of concern, “You worried about me sweetheart?” That sweet smile turned into a teasing smirk knowing that’d get your face to heat up.

And it sure did, “Shut up Jake.”

He laughed while pulling your chair closer to his, “You don’t need to be worried about me darlin’. It’s just Rooster.”

“Just Rooster?” You laughed this time, “Jake you two nearly collided playing a game of chicken last time you were up in the air.

After a few moments of silence, he spoke up once more, “I’ll admit, that was dumb. Cyclone made that very clear to us. That won’t happen again, promise.” He smiled over to you trying to reassure your worries. He found it quite endearing just how worried you seemed to be. Jake was naturally observant, especially when it came to the people he loved. You were certainly at the top of his list. So, he noticed a lot about you. How you couldn’t seem to keep your hands still. How you wouldn’t meet his eyes no matter how hard he tried. The slight flush of your cheeks and the way you bit your lips together. You were concerned for him.

You sighed deciding it was better to just let it out. Might as well. He made it very clear to you how he felt. Now, it was your turn, “You fly as if nobody cares for you Jake. Like you don’t care if you crash. God, Jake I don’t think I’d be able to get back in a jet if I ever saw you go down. I just… I worry about you. A lot.”

He grabbed at your hand giving it a squeeze, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I do care though. You know that to be the best you have to make some calculated risks…”

Your sigh stopped him in his tracks. Slowly, you turned your head towards him. When your eyes met his it hit him how much this had been affecting you.

“Is it worth it?” You paused waiting for him to say something. When he didn’t you continued on with your thoughts, “One of these calculated risks could fucking kill you Jake. You know what happened to Roosters dad. Accidents happen Jake.”

He nodded quickly before pulling you into his chest, “If I’m honest with you. Yes, it was worth it. Before you came along. You’re making a lot of choices difficult darlin’.” He laughed nervously not expecting this conversation in the slightest. Jake was always cool, calm, and collected. He was always prepared. You threw him for a loop though. Made him all sorts of nervous.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled feeling somewhat… ashamed? By the conversation going on between the two of you. Talking about these kinds of things felt so foreign to you. Guys never really truly paid you much attention so kindly before. Sure, you’ve had a boyfriend or two. But they always turned out to be the scummy men you should’ve known better of getting involved with. But damn, all you wanted was some love. You had a lot of it to give.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s a good thing.” He grinned while taking your chin in his hand turning your head slowly towards him, “It’s a very good thing pretty girl.”

And damn, the look in his eyes was giving you love. So much love in the way he looked at you. It’s exactly what you wanted. Who would’ve thought one of these asshole pilots would have actually captured your heart so effortlessly? But Jake, Jake was different.

The Concert

Nat invited a few of you out to the local concert venue for a small show for a band she loved. You agreed to go just in spirit of making Nat happy. She’d become one of your closest friends and confidants over the last few weeks. Pushing yourself beyond the limits you thought possible day in and day out really bonded people together. You’d long since forgotten the competition amongst the group.

Jake wasn’t going to go until Natasha name dropped you in the conversation. It made her laugh how quickly his tune changed once he realized you were going. Any excuse he could make to be near you he would. How you couldn’t see that so clearly was beyond Nat’s understanding. It made her sick how idiotic the two of you were being. She knew Jake was planning to ask you out after the mission, she just thought it was dumb he was waiting for so long. She thought you’d be more distracted by him waiting. But it wasn’t her fight to pick. So, she stayed as quiet as Nat could.

She grabbed your hand leading you out to where some people gathered to dance knowing you wouldn’t object like all her fellow airmen would.

“You know he’s obsessed with you right?” Your eyes rose in surprise at her straightforwardness. Although, it shouldn’t have surprised you. It was Nat after all. She let you know her feelings.

“Who?”

Rolling her eyes, she found a good spot off to the side where the two of you could chat and dance without much interruption, “Seresin. Don’t play dumb with me Y/L/N.”

“I know he likes me. I don’t think he’s obsessed with me though.” You looked down thankful for the darkly lit room hiding your surly on fire cheeks.

She threw her head back in laughter, “He’s watching you right now. He’s always watching to make sure you’re okay. You may not notice it but some of us do. Reuban has to snap him out of his daze half the time, he’s lost in thought watching you.”

Your grin couldn’t be contained. That made you far too happy to hear. Before you could reply though somebody bumped into you. Thankful your drink was almost gone or it would’ve spilled right into Natasha.

“Oh, sorry gorgeous. Didn’t see you there.” He shot you a wink which did not do it for you. He was much older than you.

“S’fine.” You turned back to Nat with wide eyes hoping the man would

He didn’t get the hint though, “Care for a dance?”

You shook your head quickly not turning back to him completely. Nat watched with an amused grin on her face. It wasn’t uncommon for either of you to get hit on. Two pretty girls surrounded by a bunch of men. That’s why you typically only went to places with the guys. You knew you’d always be safe should something arise.

“No, not really.” You shot back at him.

Nat’s eyes bounced back and forth between you and the creepy man and Jake suddenly much more alert. He noticed the change in your body stance, far more defensive. How your face looked annoyed even from across the room. He all but ran over to you when the man put his hand on your shoulder.

“Aw, come on gorgeous.”

You shook his hand off, “I said no.”

He rolled his eyes, seemingly accepting your answer. Jake sat back down seeing the man vanish into the crowd. He’d just have to keep a closer eye out on you, that was all. His eyes scanned the crowd, frowning when he found Nat but not you. She pointed towards the other side of the room where the bathrooms were. He sent her a quick nod before getting up and making his way over to them. Might as well escort you if he could.

When he got close to the single stall door though his blood ran cold when he heard your raised voice muffle a, “I said get off me.”

Jake didn’t hesitate to open the door, rip the man from your grasp and throw him against the wall before kicking him while he was down. You, completely surprised by the turn of events watched with wide eyes as Jake went in for a second kick to the stomach.

“Jake, let’s go.” You pleaded. Afraid he’d do something the both of you would regret later on.

He turned to you getting ready to argue back but when he saw your scared expression and fidgeting hands, “Alright, darlin’.” He took your hand and led you out of the venue quickly, not turning back to hear the commotion behind you when the next person went into the bathroom stall.

He only stopped once the both of you were in front of his truck, “Did he hurt you?” His eyes scanned you quickly stopping seeing the rips in your shirt and the blood dripping down one of your arms.

“No, I’m fine. I got him first. Punched him right in the nose before you jumped in. Thanks for that.” You gave him a soft

“You’re bleeding sweetheart.” He pointed to your arm with the fairly surface level cut.

Eyes looking down you frowned, “Oh.” Then you noticed the rips, “Damn, this was one of my favorite shirts.”

He laughed softly. Thankful you were seemingly fine. More annoyed by the rips than the cuts, “Come on, hop on in. Let’s get you home and cleaned up.”

“Home?” You were curious as to where he’d be taking you.

He nodded opening his truck door for you to hop in, “Back to mine? If that’s alright with you.”

You jumped up to his wish and grinned, “Yeah, that works.”

“Good, I could use the company anyway. That band sucked. Nat has the weirdest taste.”

You laughed as he shut your door and walked around to the driver’s side, sliding in much easier than you did.

“I didn’t think they were too bad.” You hummed leaning back into the seat letting the adrenaline of the last thirty minutes die down.

“Oh, they were awful. Speaking of which, mind texting the group? I’m sure they’re starting to get worried.”

You agreed sending a quick message from your phone to the small group that had gone out that Friday night. You grinned when Nat sent you a winky face back separately from the boys. The ride home was fairly quiet as you rode back in a comfortable silence. He helped you out and into his apartment which was way cuter than you were expecting. Of course, leave it to him to continuously surprise you.

“You sure you’re alright? You’re awfully quiet.” He asked you while he got the first aid kit from the kitchen. He had you sitting down on his couch a room away.

“Mhmm, I’m fine. Just tired.” You yawned, “You’re awfully quiet.”

“I’m just annoyed I didn’t get to you sooner. He hurt you.”

You smiled feeling the love radiating from him, “Didn’t even feel it, honestly.”

“Still, I’m sorry.” He frowned while wiping it clean with an alcohol wipe. You let out a soft hiss when it crossed the open wound, “Shit, sorry darlin’. Should’ve warned you.” His frowned deepened.

“Stop apologizing. Thank you Jake. You got there in plenty of time. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Honestly.” You brushed a soft hand across his cheek oh so thankful that he did intervene when he did.

This time he looked down and away feeling the blush on his cheeks. He wasn’t used to you being so forthcoming with him. Maybe, just maybe, he was rubbing off on you.

“It’s nothing.” He tried brushed it off.

But you wouldn’t take that for an answer, no. You took his chin in your hand feeling all kinds of bold as he looked back at you with the softest eyes. Your favorite look on him.

“Don’t say that Jake. It’s everything. You’re everything.” You wanted to kiss him, God you wanted to. But you’d respect his wishes and pull back.

But even he couldn’t respect his own wishes as he took your head in his hands murmuring a, “I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s alright.”

“That’s definitely alright.” You grinned with utter glee. Jake closed the distance letting your lips connect for the first of many, many kisses the two of you would share.

Jake Seresin/Top Gun: Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @mamachasesmayhem

[screamforyani]

warnings: noncon, knife play, choking

wc. 1.9k

friday nights were reserved for the gang, because after a hellish week of academics, you were itching for a break. the eight of you were at chad and ethan’s dorm this time, splurging whatever alcohol they had on deck. you weren’t at all surprised to find that they had barely anything edible in the kitchen other than beer and that was specifically why you ordered a pizza on your way over. multiple boxes. chad ate like a bear. 

with the ghostface killings resurfacing, things had been drastically different in town lately, which was why the eight of you decided to stick together (like you didn’t already do that). even with the wickedness surrounding you in such close proximity, you were glad your friends proved to be a great distraction from the fact that bodies were probably dropping as you spoke.

“i’m just saying,” you started, throwing a pizza crust at chad’s head for a stupid remark he had made. “anika and mindy are self-explanatory, chad is a textbook fratboy, quinn calls herself sex positive, and even tara could get some if sam wasn’t so far up her ass.”

“thanks a lot,” sam replied, deadpan.

“my point is,” you continued. “ethan is the token virgin of the group and he just might die un-deflowered.”

mindy laughed at ethan’s expense, which he clearly wasn’t particularly happy about, but he didn’t say anything.

chad threw his arm over ethan’s shoulder and came to his roomie’s defense, “not too much on my boy now. come on, he’s got the looks. hey, man, show us that smile.”

rather than smiling himself, chad forced ethan’s lip’s into a grin with his fingers. 

“see,” chad said. “he’s a lady killer. look at that smile.”

“i’m swooning,” tara joked.

you snickered.

that was the beginning of the end.

you didn’t think much of your jokes. you were just poking fun at ethan, that was all. you weren’t trying to be malicious. they were just jokes. mildly mean jokes.

the clocked ticked past midnight and eventually you all started to disperse. with a killer on the loose, you guys traveled at a minimum of pairs at night, so quinn volunteered to walk you home and stay the night.

there was something in the air that night, other than the little nip and the dark, scattered clouds hanging above you. something inexplicably dark, though that was could probably be reasonably explained by your paranoia, since there was at least one killer on the hunt for victims in new york city. you didn’t want to be one of them, though considering you were friends with the woodsboro survivors, it went without saying you were a likely target.

“quinn,” called out some dude you hardly recognized on the street. 

quinn glanced his way, waving. 

“got a sec?” he asked. 

you wanted to roll your eyes at this point. probably one of her hook-ups, because she was so ‘sex positive,’ as she kindly called it.

“uh,” quinn drawled, making a face. she glanced back at you. “i kind of don’t.”

you shook your head, giving her a pat. “it’s fine. go. the building is right up the block, we’ll be okay.”

“are you sure?”

“mm-hm,” you hummed. “the door’ll be locked, but i’ll wait up.”

“be safe,” quinn whispered, giving you a thumbs up. 

you waved her off. “you, too.”

then, you started walking towards your place. it was fine; somewhat chilly, but fine. you rubbed your arms, wishing you would have layered up a little more. you were definitely going to steal one of chad’s hoodies the next time you were over, not that he had to know.

out of nowhere, you heard a noise by an alleyway. you froze in place, stiffening. that was very, very strange. it’s okay, you reassured yourself, scanning the dim alleyway. there was nobody, as far as you were concerned. no one’s there. besides, it wasn’t like a killer was going to abruptly snatch you into an alleyway.

except that was exactly what happened.

you screamed, loud enough for someone to hear, that was if there was anybody nearby. unfortunately for you, it was just you and whoever the hell was in this ghostface outfit whose mask eyes you were staring into. he had you against a wall, struggling, because like hell you would go down without a fight.

that was until he pointed that goddamn knife at you and said in that ghost face voice, “stay still or i’ll slice your throat for all your friends to find.”

you stilled instantly, tears forming in your eyes, though you fought them with everything you had. you were stronger than this. “what do you want?” you croaked.

he dragged the knife down your chest, making you hold your breath, and ripped your shirt open. “you.”

you sucked in a breath.

“if you’re good, i’ll let you go. and if you’re not…,” he trailed off, bringing the knife back up and applying just enough pressure at your throat to scare you, but not cut you. “i’ll gut you like a fish.”

the look of terror on your face made him laugh and you just swallowed, trying to damp your dry throat. but it was no use. not when he was flipping up your skirt and cutting off your panties. you wanted to fight back, but you were too scared of what would happen if you failed to flee. besides, according to quinn’s dad, the killer was probably somebody already in your lives, which meant even if you escaped now, they could come back and kill you whenever they got ready. essentially, it was a lose-lose situation.

“are you going to be a good girl?”

you bobbed your head. 

the killer lifted your chin up with the side of the knife. “i want to hear you say it.”

“i’ll be… i’ll be a good girl,” you whispered.

that seemed to please him, because he moved the knife and lifted you against the wall just before sliding into you without warning. you made a noise, caught off guard, but you doubted he really cared to warn you. or prepare you, for that matter. he went deeper with every thrust, slowly but surely filling you to the hilt, and a single tear dropped down your cheek.

you were rendered absolutely helpless. he still had that knife on him and you knew he wasn’t afraid of butchering you if that was what it a look, plus his fingers were digging into your hips as he hissed in ecstacy, wallowing in the heat of you.

“you feel so good,” he groaned. “how’s it feel to know all you’ll ever amount to in life is being a little slut?”

“i’m not…,”

“you are,” he snarled, menacing. “hooking up with random guys knowing there’s a killer waiting to spill your guts out at any given moment? if you wanted to die a whore so badly, all you had to do was ask.”

die a whore, you thought, baffled. it reminded you of earlier tonight, when you said ethan might die a virgin. of course, you didn’t make that connection. ethan, a killer? pfft. he could barely look you in the eyes for too long. 

it was maddening that you kind of liked the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls, whoever he was in the first place. you were fighting the moans of pleasure, but the more degrading words spilled from his mouth, the more you were tightening around his size. not to mention that he filled you perfectly.

most of what you heard, trapped between his chest and an alleyway wall, was his uncontrollable groans of pleasure, though altered because of the stupid voice device attached to his outfit. which made him completely undistinguishable and it was impossible to identify him.

all you could do was quite literally watch him take you, whether you wanted it or not. it was brutal how he fucked you up against the wall, giving you nowhere to run or hide. you put your hands against his chest idly, just to have someplace to keep them.

when a moan slipped out, you covered your mouth with one of your palms, much to the killer’s amusement. “not so fast,” he said, moving your hand and taunting you with that damn knife again. “i want to hear you. if you weren’t a whore, you wouldn’t like my cock so much.”

you whimpered, “i… i don’t…”

“lying will get you chopped up,” he interjected. 

you swallowed.

“can’t wait to cream this tight pussy. maybe i should i knock you up so that you’ll always remember this occasion,” ghostface mused aloud, making you instantly panic. 

you writhed, trying to escape his hold. “no, no, please. please don’t. i’ll do anything - i’ll do whatever you want.”

“i already have everything i want right here,” ghostface said, cutting up your bra and tossing it into oblivion to never be seen again. you stiffened when you felt the cold blade against your bare, naked breasts. the message was subtle, but clear, and you immediately froze.

the cool air was throttling you alive, thanks to your exposed skin, but you could hardly feel it against the feeling of warmth inside you, spreading to your head and thighs from between your legs.

you were so close, that you knew. you could feel it building against your will. though you wanted to fight it, it was impossible with how he was hitting you in all the right spots. you might have hated it, but your body knew what it wanted and you couldn’t tell it anything different.

your sounds pitched louder, which was a weakness to the ghostface, because you sounded like heaven itself and he couldn’t shake the urge to fill you to the brim even if he wanted. and you knew not cumming inside you was probably the very last thing on his mind. if anything, a guy of this nature would do it solely because it was the opposite of what you wanted.

the last thing you remembered hearing for a couple of minutes was the sound of the knife dropping against the cold, hard ground before he wrapped his fingers around your throat, effectively choking you out. you climaxed at one point, but it was all a blur, and by the time you could think normally again all you could feel was his load dripping out of your cunt, spilling down your legs. you felt dirty.

“you were very, very good,” ghostface said, setting you back down. your knees wobbled and you groped the wall to anchor yourself.

what you were least prepared for, however, was the moment when he threw off his mask and revealed his true self. 

you gawked, betrayal stirring in your chest. “fucking ethan?”

he smiled wickedly. “surprise.”

you felt a number of things, but fear was your primary emotion. “you’re not… the killer, are you?” 

“of course not, silly,” ethan replied. “i just wanted to scare you a little. think of it as revenge.”

you silently narrowed your eyes at him. you weren’t sure if you believed him or not, because you didn’t know what to believe right now. you were in shock. 

ethan tilted his head, creeping a little closer to you. still smiling. “you don’t believe me.”

you were just trying to make sense of it. squinting, you asked, “why go this far, then?” 

“because you have to learn,” he said, this sinister look to him that you’d never seen before. usually, he was just cute and dorky. but he was unrecognizable right now.

for a long second, you just stared into his eyes, before darting to the ground to pick up the knife. only, he was a step ahead of you, swiping it up and pointing it at you until your back met the wall again. “you’re a smart girl, but ignorance is bliss,” he hissed. “now if i were you, i wouln’t mention a word of this to anyone.”

you gulped.

[scary-grace]

if my heart was a house (chapter 2) - a shigaraki x f!reader fic

It's been nineteen years since Tomura was sentenced to death, and you've built a life in the space he left behind, braced each day for the worst. You're prepared for everything - the questions your daughter asks, the memories that sting a little more in the winter, the specter of the news you've been afraid of for years. But of all the things life's thrown your way, it's the one you haven't dared to hope for might be the one thing you can't handle. (cross-posted to Ao3) The prequel can be found here: what I can't remember nowwritten for @pixelcafe-network's Challenge Friday event! Banner/divider by @cafekitsune

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

It’s freezing when you step out of the community center, and only the fact that Chihiro’s waiting for you to pick her up at school prevents you from going right back in and borrowing a scarf and gloves from the bin of spares. You knew you should have dressed more warmly, but you didn’t realize there’d be so much wind. By the time you make to the car, your teeth are chattering, and the car always takes longer to warm up than you want it to. You moved to Hokkaido nineteen years ago because it was the last place anyone would look for you, and no one’s found you yet. You just wish the price of privacy didn’t include freezing your ass off in the moonless polar night.

You think Chihiro worries about you a little less lately. You’ve gone to a month of pottery classes, and you make sure to respond to messages in the PTA moms’ group text every so often, and once when Kaori’s crazy mom asked you to get tea, you agreed. You left that conversation feeling like you’d been through a tornado, but the important thing is that you’re trying. That Chihiro sees you trying. That when she moves away for school, her worry for you won’t hold her back.

Her comment about you not having friends hit a little too close to home, and it’s still hanging around in your head. You used to have friends — Tomura’s friends, and some of your own. You loved them. You know they loved you. Half the reason you survived Tomura’s arrest and trial was because they were with you, suffering the same way, helpless to stop anything that was happening and trying all the same. Knowing all of that, it makes even less sense that you ran from them afterward.

But that’s always been who you are. When you’re hurt, when you’re scared, when you’re sad, you pull back from the world. You don’t like having your feelings where other people could see, and if you didn’t like having your feelings in front of anybody, there was no way you were having your baby in front of Tomura’s friends. You weren’t interested in how they felt about it. You didn’t want to hear what they’d say. And you didn’t want them involved, constantly circling, reminding you of everything you lost. Reminding your baby, once they were old enough to understand. Your new new job (you lost the first new one), your apartment, your friends, your city — it all started to feel like a prison. You could run, so you did.

Lately, though, you’ve been thinking about them. Enough to look them up and see that Toga’s a fairly well-known costume designer, and wish you could talk sewing with her; find out that Dabi’s doing okay, when you’d been worried ever since you met him that he’d wind up in prison; learn that Spinner’s a writer with a popular series of detective novels, famous for mercilessly skewering the police over their incompetence and corruption. You’ve thought about reaching out, seeing if they know anything about Tomura’s situation, if they’ve heard anything from him. Then you decided it wasn’t worth it. You don’t want to find out that he’s spent nineteen years talking to them and not to you.

Your car finally warms up. You take a deep breath, shove the thought of your old friends away, and drive.

Someone’s car spun out on the route you planned to take to the high school, and you call Chihiro to let her know you’ll be a little late. She doesn’t answer, but she probably just busy. The choir director is kind of a hardass, but Chihiro worships the ground she walks on, and she’d never interrupt a rehearsal for something like a call from her probably-clingy mom. You are a little clingy. You just don’t ever want her to wonder where you are. To spend even a second doubting that you’ll be there when she needs you.

You get to the school, park, and switch idly between channels on the radio, skipping away whenever you hear a snatch of the news. The choir kids trickle out of school slowly, talking through chattering teeth, and scatter to their parents’ cars. You watch for Chihiro, knowing that she stays late to talk to the choir director sometimes. But then the lights in the music room go out. The choir director steps out, locking the door behind her, and fear like you’ve never experienced in your life floods through you.

It feels like acid in your veins. You lurch out of your car and get in the director’s way as she heads for hers. “Where’s Chihiro?”

“She left at the break,” the director says. “Typically I don’t allow it, but she’s an excellent student and she’s never asked before —”

Chihiro left. Chihiro left school an hour ago. You can barely speak. “What happened? Did she get sick? Why didn’t you call me —”

“She said she would,” the director says, bewildered. “She didn’t?”

“If she’d called me, I’d have picked her up already.” Your voice stutters, fractures. “What happened?”

“She and her friends were discussing something. A news article, I think. I doubt that’s what caused it.” The director is frowning now, disconcerted to your terrified. “When we resumed practice, she was distraught, and asked to be excused early.”

Distraught. You’ve never heard anybody use that word to describe your daughter. “Did she say why?”

“She needed to go home. She said it was a family emergency.”

A family emergency? You’re her family. Your parents passed away when she was in middle school and you and your brother haven’t spoken in years. What family is she talking about? You don’t need that answer right now. You need to find her. “Thank you,” you choke out, and run back to your car.

You and she live five miles outside of town — on a big road that gets plowed and salted, sure, but still outside of town. Could she walk all the way home in an hour? You don’t think so. Not in this weather. And you can’t think of anywhere else she would go. You drive slowly, carefully along the road, your heart rising into your throat at each bend in the road and sinking when the stretch of road ahead of you continues to be empty. Your mind twists in agony. A family emergency. What does that even mean? It crosses your mind that it’s the perfect excuse, one no teacher would ever refuse a student like Chihiro — but why wouldn’t she call you? Why would she start walking home in the dark? What is there that she thinks she can’t bring to you, that you wouldn’t help her with? You’d do anything for her. You just have to find her, and you’ll figure it out.

You catch up to her halfway home, her hands jammed into her pockets and her shoulders hunched against the cold, her breath billowing out in a frozen cloud. The relief of finding her lasts for only a second. Now you need to get her home. You flip on your hazard lights and slow to a crawl alongside her, rolling down your window. “Chihiro, get in the car!”

She doesn’t answer. Doesn’t even look your way. “I’m so glad I found you, but I don’t understand,” you say. “You must be freezing. Why didn’t you call me? I was so scared –”

You’re making this about you. It’s not about you. “Chihiro, please get in the car. I just want you to be safe. I love you —”

“Shut up!” She wheels on you, and you hit the brakes, more in shock than anything else. Your daughter’s eyes are swollen and bloodshot with tears, and her lips are cracked and bleeding in the cold. Her mouth is turned down like you haven’t seen it in more than a decade, but her eyes are hot with rage. “Don’t come near me. Don’t even talk to me. I didn’t call you because I hate you. I hate you! How could you do that to me?”

“Do what?” you ask.

“Lie,” Chihiro spits, or sobs. “How long were you going to lie to me, Mom? Were you ever going to tell me the truth about my dad?”

Your stomach drops. How did she find out? How many people know? “I never lied,” you say. “I never told you he was dead. I always told you —”

“He’s gone.” Chihiro’s nose is dripping. She looks frozen. “Don’t play that stupid game. You knew what I thought you meant when you say that, and you just let me think — you were always going to let me think he was —”

“How did you find out?”

“That’s all you care about? I hate you —”

Right now, you hate yourself, too. It hurts to hear Chihiro say that, hurts to know she’s so angry with you that she’d rather freeze than spend even a second in the car with you — but your feelings don’t matter right now. They stopped mattering nineteen years ago. This is about your daughter. You shove your feelings to one side. “You hate me,” you repeat, and she scoffs. “You can hate me just as much in the car as you can out there, and the car is warm.”

Chihiro squints at you as she wipes her eyes. “It’s not that far. I can walk.”

“Yeah. But it’ll take you another hour, and it’ll just keep getting colder.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I won’t try to talk to you. In the car or when we’re home. Just — please, get in the car, Chihiro. You don’t have to hurt yourself to let me know you’re angry.”

“I’m not angry, Mom. This is way beyond angry.” Chihiro takes a deep breath and coughs on the cold air. “If you try to talk to me, I’m getting out again.”

You don’t deserve to feel relieved, but you do. You put the car in park and unlock the passenger-side door. “Okay.”

The drive home is awful, but at least it’s brief. The first thing Chihiro does after taking off her shoes and coat is head straight for the bathroom. The water switches on in the shower, and you’ll bet it’s scalding hot. She must be so cold. And so angry with you, angry enough to override her better judgment and drive her out onto the road alone. Is she right about you? Were you ever going to tell her the truth about Tomura? You don’t know. But you should have seen this coming, somehow. You could have seen it coming, would have, if you were doing anything but hiding from your own pain. Of course Chihiro’s furious with you. You deserve it.

Deserving it doesn’t make it hurt any less, so like always, you find something to keep you busy. You set out clean pajamas for Chihiro on her bed. Then you finish folding the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, folding the quilts that are still strewn across the couch from Chihiro’s movie night with Kaori over the weekend. After that it’s time to sew, and even with the focus paper-piecing takes and the noise of the sewing machine, you can’t shut out a single question: How did she find out?

The water in the shower shuts off. You hear Chihiro’s footsteps in the hallway, then the sound of her bedroom door shutting. Shutting, not slamming. You abandon your sewing machine, planning to go to your bedroom and stay there, leaving her the kitchen and the living room and not coming out until she goes to sleep. You don’t want her to have to look at you. Or maybe you just don’t want to see how she looks at you now.

The thought stops you at the threshold. You’ve made everything about what’s happened into something about you. Who are you helping by going to hide? Yourself. You’re protecting yourself from your daughter’s anger, which she deserves to express, and from the questions she probably wants to ask, which you should have answered a long time ago. You can’t hide. You need to stay here and be the person — the parent — you should have been all along. Even if it’s too late.

You hear the bedroom door open, but you don’t turn, and Chihiro comes closer with soft footsteps. She stops at the edge of the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Making hot chocolate. Do you want some?”

“You’re being weird,” Chihiro says. She sounds unnerved. “I told you I hate you. Why aren’t you yelling? You’re not even crying. Do you even care?”

Your heart breaks a little bit, even as a surge of frustration rocks you. “It hurts to hear you say that,” you admit. No more lying. From here on out, you tell the truth. “But I don’t think it hurts as much as finding out your mom’s been lying to you for eighteen years.”

Chihiro’s quiet. She’s quiet, and you’re not trying to downplay what you did or run away from it, so you ask a question of your own. “How did you find out?”

The electric kettle goes off with a click. “The water’s done,” Chihiro says. “Are you making hot chocolate or not?”

She reminds you so much of Tomura — that same bluntness, that same impatience, that same affinity for cutting the knot. “Yeah. And some for you.”

Once you’ve both got your cups, you head to the living room. Chihiro unfolds all the blankets you folded earlier and burrows into them, and you sit in the armchair and pull your feet up and away from the floor. She watches you over the rim of her cup. “It’s weird when you do that,” she says. “It makes you look really young.”

It’s quiet for a second. “I guess you are kind of young. They said in school that most people don’t have kids until they’re thirty, and you were only twenty-two when you had me.”

“Yeah,” you say. “Four years older than you.”

It sounds wrong when you say it. Too young. Way too young. Chihiro looks unsettled. “I wouldn’t have a kid when I was twenty-two,” she says. “Why did you?”

You take a sip of hot chocolate, trying to calm your nerves. “I’ll tell you that and everything else. I want to know how you found out first.”

Chihiro’s eyes narrow, but to your surprise, she answers. “Takako at school — she watches that true-crime show. The one you don’t let me watch.”

“I never said you couldn’t watch it. I just said not on the TV out here,” you say. Chihiro rolls her eyes. “Your computer in your room is fair game.”

“My computer doesn’t get cable.”

“So pirate it,” you say with a shrug, and Chihiro nearly chokes on her next sip of hot chocolate. “I never said you couldn’t watch it at all.”

“Yeah. Like you never actually said my dad was dead,” Chihiro says. Ouch. “Do you want me to tell you or what? She watches that show, and you’re not the only mom who’s weird about it, so she tells us all about the episodes when they come out. I guess this week’s episode was about this guy Shigaraki Tomura who killed his whole family, and how he’s been on death row longer than anybody else in Japan. So we looked him up to see if he’s still alive — I guess the episodes get made in advance — and there were pictures of him at his trial. He has the same birthmark I do.”

You nod. “And the same eyes. Ever since you were a baby.”

Chihiro looks down into her cup. “One of my friends joked about it. I thought it was funny, so I laughed. But then I was thinking about it, and the — timing, I guess. And I realized you never said he was dead. My whole life, that was what I thought, but it wasn’t what you said.”

She takes another sip of hot chocolate. “I was looking at the pictures. From the trial, and you were in them. Your hair looked different, but I knew it was you. And I guess I — there was this one picture. From his sentencing. You’re holding his hands.”

You hadn’t realized someone snapped a photo, but you should have known. Your fingers still ache from the memory. Chihiro looks up, her eyes glassy again. “It’s him, isn’t it? My dad’s Shigaraki Tomura.”

“That’s him,” you say. You can’t call your voice steady. Flat might be better. “What do you want to know?”

“Why,” Chihiro says at once. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There were a lot of reasons,” you say. “I think my main one was trying to protect you.”

“From him?”

“No,” you say. “From everybody else. I don’t know if you read any of the articles about the trial, but the way they talked about him — and about me — was awful. People treated me differently, and I was just his girlfriend. I didn’t want anybody to do anything to you because of who your father was.”

“I got in fights anyway. Because I didn’t have a dad.” Chihiro’s voice is dull. “Maybe if they’d known who he was it would have been different.”

“Maybe.” You take a sip of your own hot chocolate, even though it’s getting hard to swallow. “That was part of it. Part of it was that I didn’t want you to grow up with that hanging over your head. Knowing that your dad was on death row and not even being able to visit him.”

“You said he didn’t know about me. Was that a lie, too?”

“I tried to tell him,” you say. “I called, and wrote letters, and tried to visit — he never wanted to see me. And he never answered.”

Your voice wavers slightly. You don’t try to fight it. Fighting it makes it worse. “I wanted to. He wouldn’t let me.”

Chihiro looks disturbed. “So that picture —”

“That’s the last time I saw him,” you say, and Chihiro’s expression collapses. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry about that.” Chihiro lets go of her cup to wipe her eyes. “Why else didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was selfish,” you say. It hurts to admit it, to admit that what you swore you were doing for Chihiro’s own good was for you all along. But you have to be honest. You’ve lied to her, by omission or on purpose, enough for a lifetime. “I didn’t want to think about what happened. Any of it. And if you didn’t know — if nobody knew — then I wouldn’t have to talk about it ever again.”

Chihiro wipes her eyes a second time. You keep talking, your throat aching more in every word. “I didn’t wake up one morning and decide not to tell you about Tomura. It just happened —”

“And kept happening. For eighteen years.”

She’s not going to let you get away with anything. The fact that you know she shouldn’t doesn’t make it any less frustrating. “Yeah. Eighteen years. I did it because it would make things easier, for me. Because it wouldn’t hurt as much, for me. I was thinking a lot about me and I should have been thinking about you.”

Chihiro looks away. “Do you think he did it?”

“Chihiro —”

“He confessed,” Chihiro says. “He said he did it.”

Yeah, Tomura confessed. They interrogated him for twenty days straight before they got anything out of him, and when you came to visit him again before the trial, he looked like something had broken inside of him. He seemed out of it, too. He barely recognized you, barely knew you were there. You don’t know what they did to him in there, but you trust that confession even less than you trust the testimony his adoptive father gave. “He confessed,” Chihiro repeats, her voice rising. She fumbles her phone out of her pocket, unlocks it one-handed. “Do you think he did it?”

She’s looking something up. You remember all at once how Chihiro stumbled on him in the first place. “Did they execute him? Chihiro, tell me —”

“Do you think he did it?” she demands, and you shake your head. You were there at the trial. Every day. You never saw anything that made you believe he was guilty. Chihiro squeezes her eyes shut and holds out her phone towards you. “You were right.”

Some part of you registers what she just said, but it doesn’t stick. It bounces off the surface and vanishes, because Chihiro has a news site open, with a bright red BREAKING NEWS banner across the top. SHIGARAKI TOMURA EXONERATED AFTER NINETEEN YEARS ON DEATH ROW.

You spend one wild second panicking at the sight of an “ex” word in the same sentence as Tomura’s name and “death row”, but then you force yourself to go back. Exonerated. Not executed, exonerated. You lift the phone out of Chihiro’s hands and she lets you take it — with a caveat. “Read it out loud, okay? So I know we both saw the same thing.”

You start reading, your voice rattling. “In a time of rising crime, escalating drug trafficking, and a loss of trust in our institutions, the accused mass murderer Shigaraki Tomura became the avatar for Japan’s worst nightmares: A remorseless killer, hiding amongst the innocent, ready to strike at any time. Those who questioned the scant evidence the prosecutor provided were ridiculed. Those who believed that his confession to the murders of his parents, his grandparents, and his older sister was the product of coercion were reviled. Nineteen years later, they and the man they spoke up for have seen justice served.”

Your eyes are burning. You blink back tears and keep reading. “In a stunning but well-reasoned decision released on Monday afternoon, the Supreme Court reversed all seven murder convictions against Shigaraki Tomura in light of new evidence uncovered in the course of an entirely different investigation. Midoriya Izuku, a prosecutor turned human-rights advocate, became interested in Shigaraki’s case while working to restore another inmate’s right to visits from his adoptive father — fuck!”

Chihiro looks up. “Huh?”

“Sorry. It’s just — he called me,” you say. “Midoriya Izuku. He’s been calling. I didn’t know why.”

“It’s weird when you swear,” Chihiro notes. You mumble an apology. “Keep reading.”

“Upon reviewing the available evidence and pursuing new investigations, Midoriya made a motion for a retrial, which was granted by the Supreme Court and conducted under terms of absolute secrecy in order to avoid the media circus that ensued during Shigaraki’s original trial. The Court has agreed to release all documents related to Shigaraki’s case and is expected to do so within the next twenty-four hours. Some sources have indicated that a different suspect in the Shimura family’s murders has already been taken into custody, but no official confirmation has been received.”

Your hands are shaking now, so hard you almost drop Chihiro’s phone in your cup of hot chocolate. “Mom?” Chihiro says, and you look up, blinking hard. “Do you know who they arrested?”

Your first inclination is to ask why she thinks you of all people would know, but you clamp down on that. Even though the world’s just been yanked out from beneath your feet, your daughter is still the injured party. And when you think about it, you do have some idea of who it is. “His adoptive dad. He was the one who had custody of Tomura when the murders happened, and he was really excited to cooperate with the investigation.”

“Custody?” Chihiro repeats. “How old was he when he — when they died?”

“Fifteen,” you say. “If you’re older than fourteen when you commit a crime, they can try you as an adult.”

“You think his fake dad set him up,” Chihiro says. You nod. “Is there more to read?”

“A little bit.”

Chihiro scoots over on the couch, making a space, and you sit down next to her. She has to wake up her phone again for you to keep reading, and you get the jumpscare of SHIGARAKI TOMURA EX- a second time before scrolling down to where you left off. “Although a release date has not been announced publicly, it is the view of this magazine that Shigaraki should be released from prison as quickly as possible. He has paid a debt to society that was never owed in the first place. When Shigaraki Tomura is released from Fuchu Prison, he will walk out a free man. Society’s atonement for the crime it committed against him is only beginning.”

You glance at the byline out of habit. This article was written by Kizuki Chitose, and if you remember right, the last article she wrote about Tomura struck a pretty different note. She’d better start atoning right now. You’d be happy to help. Balling up every single scathing editorial and hit job she wrote and jamming them down her throat feels like it would be a good start.

“It’s real,” Chihiro says. You nod. “He’s getting out.”

You nod again. You’re with Kizuki on wanting Tomura to be released as quickly as possible. You’re just not sure what happens next.

Chihiro’s thinking along the same lines. “Mom, what are we going to do?”

“We’ll figure it out,” you promise her. She leans in against your side, and some horrible part of you exults. With the chaos that’s about to unfold, Chihiro can’t afford to hate you any longer — or if you stop thinking about it like an asshole, she doesn’t know what’s going to happen and you’re the person she turns to. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know any more than she does. You’re the adult, but something happened to you when you read that headline. Somehow it feels like no time has passed at all; like he was just torn away from you, like you’re a lonely, hopeless twenty-two-year-old with a baby on the way all over again.

But you aren’t. You made it this far. Your baby turned eighteen this year, and you managed to raise her close enough to right. “We’ll figure it out,” you promise her again. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“Maybe you were right,” Chihiro mumbles. “It would have been harder if I knew all this time.”

You think so. It’s still not an excuse. You wrap your arm around your daughter’s shoulders and hug her closer, relieved beyond words when she doesn’t pull away. You’ll take care of her first — make sure she eats, make sure she gets some sleep, because you know from experience how much harder everything becomes without it. And after she’s fallen asleep, you’ll finally return Midoriya Izuku’s calls.

<- Chapter 1

[inkskinned]

something that stuck with me once, way back in middle school when i was still learning how to write - my teacher said "writing shock and tragedy is easy, it's humor that's the hardest."

i have been up and down the halls of academia. i have the fancy degree and the experience in publishing. i think i paved most of my own road with the little bricks of sorrow i had stored inside of me. i know i did it mostly with works that are blisteringly lonely. i know why we write like that. it's lifesaving.

but yeah, i mean. i also know how much people think that "sad" media is the same thing as "good" media. our human desire to connect is so hard-pressed that we immediately latch onto any broken themes. the bullied kids and the tales of inspiration. people keep saying things like "glass onion" and "everything everywhere" weren't actually good. because, you know, they're. happy. or happy-ish. happy enough. and we only value art if it's grimdark-adjacent.

do you know - people still consistently whine at me that my writing would be so good if i just capitalized things. i used to flinch. i get kind of a weird, vindictive little rush these days - i get to say thank you for the comment! i have chronic pain and this is how i conserve my hands so i can write more during the day :) grammar isn't real anyway! and now they're trapped in the room with me, you know? i get to pull out my map and show them how grammar is not the same thing as good writing.

writers have this thing. we scratch at our insides, constantly, prying our lives apart into splinters. prying the splinters apart into atoms. when we combust something into poetry, we control it. it cannot hurt us if it exists outside of us rather than burning a hole through the bottom of our lungs. it's not a wonder to me that so much of what i make comes out like a death gasp. i spent a long time at the bottom. i keep going back, too. when you're down there for so long, the only thing you can exhale is fumes.

but humor is hard. humor needs timing; which i can't promise in a paragraph. i can kind-of force it through careful spacing, but i have no idea how fast you're reading these things. humor needs a somewhat awareness of your audience, when really - anybody could be looking. humor needs us to understand what the joke is, why it's a joke, and to think - ha! that is funny. in tragedy, everyone understands the metaphor of a kicked puppy. in humor, you need to introduce them to the concept of a dog.

and forget about positivity. forget about anything not made for adults explicitly. every time i see a well-made children's media piece, i feel fucking horrible for the creators. most of the time, people see children's media as being sort of "not worth" applause, even though i'm pretty sure they have to work twice as hard. i have no idea how hard it must be to not be able to have your character just say. "well, fuck." something about a message of peace or friendship or caring - for some reason, that makes the media not for adults. like, okay. i'm pretty sure my father actually, out of all of us, could use a good book on how to control his temper and talk about his feelings.

but whatever. i write a short story about my ocd, and how it's fucking killing me. it gets an award. it gets published. i write a short story about my ocd, and how i'm overcoming it, and how my days are getting lighter and starting to flourish. i keep getting ghosted. no response. it just is lacking... something.

is this it, forever? you can be an artist, okay. but the trade off is that the things you make - if they're happy? if they're joyful? people will say it's stupid and pandering. you bite your nails off. you file your teeth. you hear something inside of you breaking.

the other day in a writing group, someone i'd thought of as a friend said: "you write so much better these days! i love what you make when you'd rather be dead."

[rieamena]

i dont care what ANYBODY SAY and if its self-indulgent but I KNOW that INO TAKUMA LOVES BLACK GIRLS i can feel it in my soul

contains: ino having a major crush on you, non-sorcerer au, black!fem!reader working at a cafe, nanami & ino are more friends than mentor/mentee

wc: 1.2k

part two: the first date!

ino who is star struck when he walks into the cafe that he was meant to meet nanami at for lunch and sees you. your bright smile as you tend to a customer lights up the cafe, going beautifully with your skin. the way you move with grace and confidence behind the counter captivates him, making it impossible for him to look away. he’s completely entranced by the warmth you give in your interactions with everyone. he finds a suitable table and sets down his things, his eyes never leaving you. you finish up with your current customer and consider walking over to take his order but hesitate, noticing that he must be waiting for someone.

ino who's eyes accidentally meet yours and he starts freaking out. texts nearly every group chat he's in, frantically typing, "GUYS WHAT DO I DO!!! OUR EYES JUST MET..... GUYS??? HELLO???" his phone lights up with multiple teasing and encouraging notifications, but none seem to be helpful in the moment.

ino who musters up the courage to walk up to the counter and order a few things from the menu hanging above your head. he lies and says he's not sure what to get, asking for your input instead. "i recommend the vanilla strawberry trifle cake with our signature iced honey lemon tea!" you pointed to the cake in the display next to you. ino hums in approval, "i'll get that then!" you entered his order into the screen before you, looking up when you heard your name. "y/n? is that right?" ino tilted his head, eyes on your name tag. "yeah...!" you beamed before collecting yourself, signaling to the card reader at the edge of the counter. "it's pretty, just like you."

ino who immediately taps his card and runs away to his table, silently begging for nanami to come quicker, his heart dropping when he sees nanami's "i'm going to be late." text. his head goes straight into his hands, unbelievably embarrassed. you watch him retreat, a soft smile on your face and turn to start preparing his order.

ino who sulks for 30 seconds before realizing that this is the perfect opportunity to get to know you a bit more. he sends a picture of the menu to his colleague and within seconds got a reply. "i'll have a croissant with black coffee, thanks. be there in 15." taking a deep sigh, ino walked back to the counter, playing with his hands. feeling someone's presence, you yelled out "sorry! i'll be right- oh its you!" walking over to where he was, you continued speaking, "is everything okay? wanna change your order?" ino shook his head and signaled behind him, "no no! i'm ordering for my friend." friend?, you thought, eyes looking past him and at the table he claimed. "but there's no one there?" you looked up into his eyes and ino could've sworn his heart skipped a beat. looking back, as if he expected nanami to randomly appear, he laughed, "yeah, you're right. he's running a bit late, though it would be better to just not come at all." "why's that?" you continued preparing his order, pouring ice into a glass. "well our lunch break ends soon..." ino pauses, checking the time, "in like 20 minutes or so."

ino who tries his best not to laugh as you whip your head around to look at him. "20 minutes?!?! oh my god..." you finished making his tea and quickly moved over to the display to cut him a generous piece of the cake he ordered. slice of cake and glass of tea in hand, you walked back to the man, placing it in front of him. "here ya go... sorry about that. what would your friend like?" the man's gaze was directed slightly above your eyes. "your hair... it got out of place..." shuffling to find the nearest reflective surface, the man continued to speak "wait...! i got you. don't worry!" he pulled out his phone, opening the front camera and turning it towards you. peering into the device slightly, you fix your sections and the decorative scarf on your head. "thank you for that....." your voice trailed off at the end, needing something to complete your thought. ino took a few seconds but ultimately understood with a big smile on his lips. "ino."

ino who finds it hard to not self-destruct when he hears his name on your lips. "thank you for that ino, and for that compliment from before too." he chokes on his breath, violently coughing afterwards. "yeah...! uh, no problem! just calling it how it is..." he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "if it helps, i think you're pretty cute yourself!"

ino who finds himself coming back to the cafe every day. never forgetting to order something extra for his friend. "let me guess, a black coffee and croissant for nanami?" ino softly laughs and nods, and you give him the pastry and drink that you prepared ahead of time. "yeah but im off today. i'll just be dropping it off at the office." "wait..., you're here on your off day? isn't your job super stressful? why dont you relax at home?" "being able to see you is relaxing. how could i miss a day of conversation with the prettiest girl in the world?" you stared at him, feeling heat rise to your face. "do i look good?" "good?" ino questioned. "baby, you're stunning." he pouted, thinking that you might be feeling insecure in the moment. smiling and letting out a sigh, you corrected yourself, "no i mean, does my hair look okay? my clothes look straight?" you gave him a quick 360 as you smoothened out your work uniform. ino silently ohhed as he searched your form for any imperfections. "nope! nothing out of place." "thanks, wanted to make sure before i do this." ino stayed silent and you took that as an okay to continue. "okay... i can do this... uh ino, can i... have your number?" you stared at his expressionless face before burying your head in your hands.

ino who thinks something is up when you give him that request. "y/n, did you read my mind last night?" "what?" your eyes met his and they widened when you found ino already looking at you. "last night, i told myself that i was finally going to ask you out but here you are beating me to it!" you let go of a breath you didn't know you were holding and giggled. "well, since i beat you to it." you unlocked your phone and created a new contact, handing it over to ino. he briefly poses for the contact photo and saves his number in your phone. giving your phone back, he speaks. "on one condition." "which is...?" you put your phone back into your apron pocket, smiling coyly. "i get to take you on a date?" ino's tone was soft, unsure if his advance was going to land the way he wanted. "of course you can."

ino who turns away from you and begins celebrating as if he's invisible. he does multiple yes! motions before abruptly stopping, collecting himself, and turning back to you. "so uh, your shift ends in 30, right?" ino glanced at the clock, his forearms resting on the counter, bending over slightly. looking at the small digital clock on your right, you nodded. "i'll wait for you then."

first jjk post hello???!!! first post in a year hello?!?!? this is my first time writing in sooooo long i swear but i feel that i really needed that break and i think i got better (i hope i got better) as usual if you liked this let me know! likes, comments, + reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated. love yall <3

[mattyriddlesbitch]

The Princess and The Knight(Chapter Two)

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Warnings: mentions of the basilisk

By your second year, Mattheo had made a reputation of being a dick and getting into fights. Many people avoided him, only his few friends you met on the train on the way to Hogwarts talked with him.

And you. You tried, at least. He would give short replies the whole time. ‘Yes’ ‘No’ ‘Maybe’ ‘I don’t know’ ‘Okay’ “Whatever’ That was pretty much his whole vocabulary with you.

His friends were okay with you. Not particularly friendly or went out of their way for you, but they weren’t rude to you and you were never one of their targets, which you were thankful for.

Second year started, and that was the year that there was something roaming Hogwarts, killing students. You were terrified, as any normal person would be.

You sat down in Potions next to Mattheo the day after the first attack, still a bit shaken up from the news.

“Did you hear about what happened?” You asked Mattheo as you started setting up your things for class.

“With the cat? Yes.” Mattheo answered, seeming unphased.

“I can’t believe something like that could happen here.” You said, shaking your head in disbelief.

“It's just a cat. It'll be fine, probably.” Mattheo shrugged.

“What if it happens to a student though?” You ask, leaning forward to lean on the desk.

“Are you scared?” He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you, like he was confused about your reaction.

“Well, yeah. That could've happened to anybody. That's terrifying.”

“You don't have to be scared. Nothing's gonna happen to you.” His expression softened slightly.

“How can you be so sure? How are you not scared?” You asked, confused about his laid back attitude about it all.

He shrugged again, refusing to answer the questions. “Do you need me to protect you? Will that make you feel safe?” He asked in a sarcastic tone.

It almost took you back for a second. He was sarcastic with you often, but the question caught you off guard. But you quickly recovered. “Aw, are you offering to be my knight in shining armor?” You smiled at him.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “As if. You're not a princess, you know.”

“Only princesses get knights then?”

“Correct.”

You were about to respond, but Snape spoke up, starting his lesson.

After some more attacks, the school implemented a rule that you couldn’t walk alone and to always walk with someone else. You didn’t really know anyone in your potions class other than Mattheo, so you weren’t sure who you were going to walk with, but you figured you’d find someone when the time came.

So now, potions class had ended and you were packing up, watching everyone walk in pairs or groups out of the classroom. You grabbed your bag and headed to the door, but noticed everyone was gone. You frowned, but figured since the halls were filled with students, you shouldn’t have an issue getting to your next class and headed out of the classroom.

“Breaking the rules now?” You heard Mattheo say after you took a few steps out the door.

“What?” You turned to see him pushing himself off the wall and coming to your side.

“Not following the ‘walking with someone’ rule. You’re alone.” He said, grabbing your arm to make you keep walking before letting go.

“Everyone had someone else already.” You shrugged as you fell into step beside him.

“I guess that leaves us then.”

“You didn’t want to walk with anyone else?” You asked curiously.

“They’re all idiots, I’m not walking with them.” He answered simply.

“You know, I think I recall you saying something about only princesses getting knights.” You said in a playful tone.

“Yeah, and?”

“Does that mean I’m a princess now?” You joked.

“And I’m a knight then?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah.” You smiled at him.

“Fine then, princess. I guess I’ll be your knight for our 5 minute walk to your class.” He said sarcastically.

He walked with you between classes when he could, still keeping up the defense that he didn’t want to walk with anyone else since they were idiots. When they finally lifted the rule, he walked you to class one last time.

“Guess you won’t be needing my protection anymore, princess.” He said as you approached your class.

“Unfortunate. I was getting used to you walking with me.” You said, pouting playfully.

“Not like you’re never going to see me again.” He rolled his eyes at your pout.

“Might as well, though. It was the most you ever spoke to me.”

“Oh, shut up.” He stopped in front of your classroom.

“Well, I guess you’re retired now, my knight. Your services were appreciated.” You said with a small smile, chuckling when he rolled his eyes again, but this time with his own small smile.

“You’re stupid.”

“I know.”

There was a small moment of silence as you stared at each other, finally breaking when another student squeezed past you two to get into the classroom.

“Well, I better get to class. I’ll see you later, Mattheo.” You said and headed to your classroom.

“Yeah, later.” You heard him say before he started heading to his own classroom.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Taglist:

@jeannie-beannie @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff @leandre2006

@call-me-mishi @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @brittney-121 @leovaldezsbitch

@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @mattheoriddleluvbot @acornacreacure @opheliamalfoy236

@demieyesore @akira1246 @queenshu @prettypinkprincess15 @starryslytherin0

@jolly4holly @st0n3dbarbi3 @kurumbukaari @whydoireadanymore @sweet-afternoon

@ilovehpb0ys @princessluvssleep @satosugu4-ever @reys-letters @mattiesgirl

@alwayslatetothefandoms @satosugu4-ever @whydoireadanymore @reys-letters @mcdonaldshelppage

@shaquilles-0atmeal @feistyfox47 @gillyweeds @pluto-9456 @jooniebluesworld

@hereticdance @lxserriddle @cindyss @saint-marvel @atadoddinnit

@simpforromance @yours-truly-5

Let me know if you wanna be added!

[scariusaquarius]

rehab. 9.

Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader

Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.

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A/n: Things are starting to go according to plan, but is it a good thing...or a bad thing teehee I don't feel as this is my best work, i have such a killer migraine rip but I do hope you guys enjoyed! I definitely skimped on the action scenes ;-; If you would prefer to read Rehab on Archive, you may do so right HERE!

This is an au where Bucky joined the avengers but still rehabilitated in Wakanda (sometime before Infinity War [canon divergent cause NOPE]). I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!

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Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares

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Author: ScariusAquarius

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rehab masterlist. chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8

The city of Gützkow, Germany, was a small and slightly medieval town that was situated in the Northeast. It's population was considerably small with only about 3,000 people occupying the historical town. It was the perfect place to lay low in, but with small towns came lots of talk.

When newcomers or visitors would come, the word spread like wildfire. Thankfully, Natasha and Bucky knew how to blend right in. They were walking around in casual clothing, Natasha wearing a babushka tied beneath her hair, and Bucky was wearing a hat with sunglasses and a surgical facemask.

They were scouting; on the look-out for anybody that looked suspicious to them while blending in with the other tourists that were in the town. Their comm links sparked to life, making the two jolt slightly as Tony's voice came through.

"You guys have got to try the Jaegerschnitzel here at the hotel. I don't think it's got actual jaeger in it though, it's missing that 'why did i put this in my mouth' taste."

"Tony, are you seriously eating right now?"

Steve sounded annoyed, and Tony replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I'm a hungry growing boy, cap. Not everyone can be all muscles and conditioned like you."

T'Challa's annoyance rang loud as he hissed through the comm links.

"Would you both get it together? We're on a mission, not vacation."

Natasha muttered, hiding it behind her hand as she coughed slightly.

"You're telling me."

As they walked, Bucky could see a group of men walking out of an alleyway; wearing mostly black and looking as if they were looking for something or someone. Bucky stated as he looked over at Natasha to look as though he was deep in conversation.

"Got company at 12 o'clock. 6 EC's. I can't tell if they're armed."

Steve hummed in response.

"Let's assume they are. Do we have a visual on Rollins?"

"No. He doesn't seem to be with them."

T'Challa's voice came over the comms again, saying as the wind whipped past his mic.

"He is probably lying low so he doesn't get recognized...or doesn't get caught on camera."

Natasha then observed, watching as they grabbed a few take-out boxes and began to walk down the street.

"Seem to be on food delivery for today. Let's see where they're servicing."

Bucky and Natasha began to move slowly, inconspicuously following the men, and they cut behind an alleyway to walk on the opposite side of the building so the group of men didn't notice them. From above, Bucky could see T'Challa soaring over the roofs, staying as low as he could so pedestrians didn't see him.

The men turned down a narrow alleyway, and their steps seemed to quicken. They unexpectedly when down a flight of steps into a door that was situated in the side of the building. Bucky frowned, and Natasha hummed.

"This must be where Rollins has been hiding...right underneath everyone's nose."

Tony then cut in, asking.

"So, what's the plan? You wanna just...knock on the front door?"

"Tony, do not."

Steve hissed with an annoyed tone, and Tony sighed before he dropped down right behind the group of men.

"Sorry, I have an appointment that I just can't miss. You understand, right?"

Steve began to berate the man as Tony engaged the group, knocking them out one by one, and Bucky couldn't help but to glare into the eyes of the Iron Man mask.

"Really? You couldn't let Natasha and I do this? Rollins might know that we're here now."

"Guess we better hurry then. Hop to it, gang, we've got a mystery to solve."

Natasha snuck in first, carefully and quietly neutralizing guards that were in the hallway, and Bucky came in behind her and went through the doorway. The two of them began to engage four guards that were in a common area of the basement.

While Bucky harshly head-butt one of the agents and knocked them out, Steve's shield came flying into the stomach of the other, effectively incapacitating them. Bucky glanced back to see Steve standing in the doorway in his suit, glaring at Tony as he caught his shield.

"Tony, you were supposed to wait on the other side of the building in case they had an escape route."

"I thought Mufasa could handle it."

T'Challa hissed with disdain into his mic.

"I am a panther, not a lion!"

"Okay, does Kitty Claws work?"

Bucky just groaned and declared.

"Can we please focus? Steve and I will go down the left hallway, you and Natasha can go down the right. T'Challa can watch the south exit while Clint watches the North exit."

Steve then frowned, asking.

"Wait a minute, has anybody heard from Clint?"

Suddenly, there was a high-frequency interference that made everyone clutch their ears, and Clint's apologetic voice came over the line.

"I am so sorry, everyone, I couldn't figure out how to get my hearing aids to connect to the server. No movement so far, nobody's gone in nor out, but I have it covered."

Natasha couldn't help but to snort and Tony shook his head.

"I told you that I could update your ears for you."

"I'm not interested in being able to hear you 24/7 Stark, but thanks for the offer. I'm turning my ears down now."

Clint went quiet, and Steve instructed.

"Let's get a move on. The quicker we get this done, the better."

The group split up, and Bucky and Steve began to carefully go down the hallway. Bucky's ears were straining, listening for anybody that might be in the rooms on either side of the hallway, and Steve approached the door at the end of the hall. From within, Bucky and Steve could hear a man speaking that sounded a lot like Rollins.

He gave Bucky a look before nodding, and he kicked the door in with a grunt. The door splintered and came flying off of the hinges, and Bucky raised his gun, glaring down his sight at the empty room. There was a recorder propped up against a microphone, and Steve frowned when Bucky got a haunted look across his face.

"What is it, Bucky?"

"The trigger words...they're reciting her trigger words!"

Steve looked grave and he immediately called within his comm link.

"We got an emergency. Rollins isn't here, but he's got a device broadcasting the soldier's trigger words. We need to get back to Wakanda immediately!"

Tony's voice came over the comm link, sounding slightly out-of-breath.

"A bit busy, Cap! We've got a bunch of hostiles. No sign of Rollins yet either!"

Bucky slid behind the desk, crushing the recorder, and he stated.

"Fuck, they implanted some type of advanced radio within the neural tissue of the soldier's brain that's seemingly undetectable from CT and MRI's. It says that it's engineered to emit controlled radio waves, operating on low-frequency electromagnetic waves that interact with the brain's electrical signals."

Tony hummed after a moment of grunting and huffing.

"It's basically like a small speaker. Whatever they want the subject to hear, they can relay to them through that chip."

Steve instructed.

"We need to get to Wakanda immediately. Tony, can you get us there quickly?"

"I can't get us there in enough time without a quinjet or unless I go alone."

T'Challa called through the mic with urgency.

"We have a way. If you are not with me within the next two minutes, I am leaving without you!"

Steve and Bucky began to jog as fast as they could to T'Challa's location where a Royal Talon Fighter was hovering and being piloted by Okoye. Clint was inside as well, and a moment later, Tony and Natasha arrived. They all jumped into the jet, and T'Challa exclaimed.

"Go!"

-SHURI-

She didn't know what had happened. It had been peaceful in the lab as Shuri ran some more programs to further break down HYDRA's programming when all of a sudden, the digital representation of the soldier's mind began to pulse with red light. The soldier had reacted physically as well, clutching their head and screaming.

Within real time, Shuri watched as her safeguards were destroyed and the whole brain went completely red. When the soldier stopped screaming, Shuri was horrified to watch as she turned around, and the Winter Soldier was back.

Shuri exclaimed to the other scientists that were in the lab to evacuate before initiating a lockdown on the lab. The soldier had wasted no time, bounding across the lab and throwing lab equipment out of her way before she began to punch the door. There was a energy barrier that was installed in the door, repelling her punches.

However, the barrier was weakening with every punch, and Shuri began to curse in Xhosa before calling her brother. With no time wasted, T'Challa answered the call.

"Shuri! They have some sort of chip installed in her brain that is like a speaker. You must get away from her! The Winter Soldier has been activated!"

"How is that possible? I scanned her brain completely! There's no way I wouldn't have noticed!"

T'Challa clicked his tongue loudly, replying.

"They made it with the intention of it never being found. Stark said it's within her neural tissue."

Shuri cursed again as the woman slammed against the barrier again, shattering it before she began to punch at the door again. Shuri watched as the door began to bend, and Shuri stood up, members of the Dora Milaje standing around her.

"Evacuate the Citadel! Protect the people!"

"We can see the Citadel. Hold on, Shuri!"

The lab door suddenly flew off of the hinges, and as the kingdom went on lockdown, the lights flickered. The soldier stalked out of the doorway, and Shuri stood protectively with her vibranium gauntlets readied.

"Isithunzi, please stand down! I don't want to hurt you!"

The woman did not respond, marching towards her, and Shuri shot her gauntlets, the soldier flying backwards and skidding on the ground. Shuri frowned, calling again in Russian.

"Отойди, солдат!"

The soldier faltered for a moment, but she stood up with an angry sneer on her face. As she walked, the feeling of dread filled Shuri, and the Dora Milaje immediately began to engage.

Despite the soldier's weakened state, she still fought as if she was in prime condition. Dodging spears and swinging her fists, the soldier was a beast.

There was no other way to describe the way the soldier fought. She was calculated and cold with her movements as she engaged the Dora Milaje.

She threw one of the women into another, letting out a roar of frustration, and Shuri exclaimed.

"Do not hurt her! Try to incapacitate!"

The Dora Milaje immediately changed their approach, and though they were coordinated and quick, the soldier seemed to anticipate every move that they made.

Once the Dora Milaje were taken down, the soldier began to advance towards Shuri. Shuri stood at the ready, a bead of sweat running down her temple.

As the soldier advanced, the wall to her left suddenly exploded, Iron Man tackling the woman straight through the opposite wall. Shuri gasped as T'Challa and the Avengers came barreling into the room. The king ran to Shuri, asking her.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, but our walls are!"

T'Challa shook his head before he quickly yanked the two of them out of the way of a stray gurney; glass shattering and the bed creating sparks as it slid across the ground. Natasha came barreling through the hole, and she groaned softly once she stopped sliding on the ground before looking up at Shuri.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to have an extra pair of those gauntlets, would you?"

Shuri shook her head, shrugging.

"Only the prototypes."

Natasha huffed, and Clint came to her side, checking her over before shaking his head and grabbing an arrow that was glowing blue.

"I need you guys to give me an open shot!"

Within the lab, the soldier was currently being crowded and held down by Steve and Bucky, her feet kicking and teeth gnashing as she tried to escape. Tony slapped a collar onto her neck, and when the two super soldiers let her go, Clint took his shot and electrocuted the soldier. The electricity triggered the collar, and harsher voltage began to course through the soldier's body.

The soldier screamed before dropping, convulsing on the ground, and Bucky wiped his nose of blood. Tony's mask slid off, and he shook his head.

"I feel like that could have been a lot worse. I think even you pack a harder punch than she did, MC 1."

Bucky huffed, muttering with an exasperated look.

"She hasn't been properly fed and hydrated in a long time, so she's not exactly in prime condition. If she had been, this would have been a lot worse."

Steve looked over at Shuri as the princess stepped through the door with a grave expression while T'Challa looked angry. Steve immediately apologized, guilt running deep within his mind.

"I'm sorry, Shuri, I didn't know."

Shuri raised her hands, shaking her head.

"It's not your fault. I feel so stupid that I did not think about the possibility of them installing a physical failsafe, not just a mental one."

T'Challa was silent, and Okoye looked livid. The woman stayed quiet, however, and Natasha said as Clint walked her into the lab.

"To be fair, it seems like relatively modern technology that they could have installed recently. We know that she's been active since 1985, and to my knowledge, they didn't have that type of technology then."

T'Challa then decided, crossing his arms.

"Then let us get this lab cleaned up so we may locate the chip and extract it. We must play it safe as we don't know if Jack Rollins still has another communicator."

The Citadel was released from lockdown, and the lab lit up. Shuri opened up a hologram of the soldier's brain, pointing at the large portions of red that had showed up again.

"Her activation completely rendered my safeguards useless. What I can do is reinstall them, begin to locate the chip and extract it, and then begin rehabilitation once more."

T'Challa couldn't help but to say.

"Is rehabilitation still possible?"

"Yes, it is."

Shuri looked stern, and T'Challa just sighed. Tony glanced around the lab and began to ask Shuri about the different equipment that she had while the soldier was placed onto the cryostasis pod bed. Bucky moved back after strapping her in, and Steve shook his head.

"I should have known."

Bucky gave Steve an incredulous look, his blue eyes wide with exasperation as he looked at the upset Captain.

"How could we have known? I know HYDRA implanted trackers into every subject, but even I wasn't aware that they experimented with technology like this."

Steve had a forlorn look on his face, and Natasha spoke as Clint stood by, tilting his head as he looked at the soldier.

"Don't do that to yourself, Steve, none of us knew. Not even Shuri."

Steve looked defeated, and Clint hummed in thought as he gazed at the sleeping soldier.

"You know, she doesn't even look any older than 25."

His statement made Steve shake his head, and Bucky muttered as the wounded began to file in and begin medical treatment.

"Let's just figure out how to get that chip out."

-

STORY NOTES: Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Tony, T'Challa, and Clint all go to Gützkow, Germany, to locate Jack Rollins. While Bucky and Natasha are scouting on the ground, Clint and T'Challa are on the roofs. Steve is stationary on the opposite side of the town, and Tony is at a restaurant.

Natasha and Bucky spot a group of suspicious looking men that are carrying boxes of food, and they begin to follow them. They arrive at an entrance that is hidden within the alleyway, and Tony decides to engage immediately despite Steve's orders not to. Unable to wait, the Avengers begin to infiltrate the secret base. After engaging and incapacitating most of the agents, the Avengers split up to cover more ground.

Steve and Bucky arrive at a room at the opposite side of the building, and they discover that Rollins is nowhere to be found. However, they find that a voice recorder is playing the soldier's trigger words into a microphone. Despite crushing the device, the words have already been looping for an unknown amount of time. Bucky discovers that HYDRA implanted a chip into the soldier's brain that emits radio waves that translate into words; allowing HYDRA to remotely activate the soldier.

Upon finding this out, T'Challa calls Okoye to come to his location to pick him up and advises the Avengers to hurry, or he will leave them behind. In Wakanda, Shuri and the Dora Milaje are currently engaging the soldier after she has been completely reactivated. The soldier is able to disarm and defeat the Dora Milaje, but before she is able to begin engaging with Shuri, Tony breaks through the wall and attacks the soldier.

Natasha and Tony begin to engage the soldier, but the soldier is able to throw Natasha off and back out of the lab, in which Natasha asks Shuri if she has extra gauntlets that she could use. Inside the lab, Bucky and Steve arrive to give Tony backup, and they are able to detain the soldier.

Tony puts on a collar that delivers high-voltage shocks to incapacitate the soldier, and Clint activates it after shooting the soldier with an electrified arrow. Once the soldier is taken down and put in restraints, she is immediately put into cryostasis for the time-being.

Steve then apologizes to Shuri, but Shuri brushes him off and tells him that she feels stupid for not considering the possibility of HYDRA implanting a chip as a physical safeguard alongside the use of mind-control techniques. T'Challa suggests that they remove the chip as fast as possible, and the Avengers begin to administer first-aid while beginning to research how to remove the chip.

TRANSLATION:

Jägerschnitzel - An Austrian meal that is made with veal and a creamy sauce that is usually made with mushrooms, tomatoes, or by itself

EC - Military Lingo for Enemy Combatants

Isithunzi - Xhosa for Shadow/Shade

Отойди, солдат! - Stand down, Soldier!

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