#do i need a tag so people can avoid my personal shit if they want to?

[knoproblem]

Maybe the fog’s here because I want it here.

Is that why I opened the windows?

Maybe I asked the fog to come…

-MAG170: Recollection

[depresseddepot]

this is a very unique fear but I'm worried they're going to take my full time position away and try to make me part time again

[stellophiliac]

how to build a digital music collection and stuff

spotify sucks aaaass. so start downloading shit!!

file format glossary

.wav is highest quality and biggest

.mp3 is very small, but uses lossy compression which means it's lower quality

.flac is smaller than .wav, but uses lossless compression so it's high quality

.m4a is an audio file format that apple uses. that's all i really know

downloading the music

doubledouble.top is a life saver. you can download from a variety of services including but not limited to apple music, spotify, soundcloud, tidal, deezer, etc.

i'd recommend ripping your music from tidal or apple music since they're the best quality (i think apple music gives you lossless audio anyway. .m4a can be both lossy and lossless, but from the text on doubledouble i assume they're ripping HQ files off apple music)

i also love love love cobalt.tools for ripping audio/video from youtube (they support a lot of other platforms too!)

of course, many artists have their music on bandcamp — purchase or download directly from them if you can. bandcamp offers a variety of file formats for download

file conversion

if you're downloading from apple music with doubledouble, it spits out an .m4a file.

.m4a is ok for some people but if you prefer .flac, you may wanna convert it. ffmpeg is a CLI (terminal) tool to help with media conversion

if you're on linux or macOS, you can use parameter expansion to batch convert all files in a folder. put the files in one place first, then with your terminal, cd into the directory and run:

for i in *.m4a; do ffmpeg -i "$i" "${i%.*}.flac"; done

this converts from .m4a to .flac — change the file extensions if needed.

soulseek

another way to get music is through soulseek. soulseek is a peer-to-peer file sharing network which is mainly used for music. nicotine+ is a pretty intuitive (and open-source) client if you don't like the official one.

you can probably find a better tutorial on soulseek somewhere else. just wanted to make this option known

it's bad etiquette to download from people without sharing files of your own, so make sure you've got something shared. also try to avoid queuing up more than 1-2 albums from one person in a row

tagging & organizing your music

tagging: adding metadata to a music file (eg. song name, artist name, album) that music players can recognize and display

if you've ripped music from a streaming platform, chances are it's already tagged. i've gotten files with slightly incorrect tags from doubledouble though, so if you care about that then you might wanna look into it

i use musicbrainz picard for my tagging. they've got pretty extensive documentation, which will probably be more useful than me

basically, you can look up album data from an online database into the program, and then match each track with its file. the program will tag each file correctly for you (there's also options for renaming the file according to a certain structure if you're into that!)

there's also beets, which is a CLI tool for... a lot of music collection management stuff. i haven't really used it myself, but if you feel up to it then they've got extensive documentation too. for most people, though, it's not really a necessity

how you wanna organize your music is completely up to you. my preferred filestructure is:

artist > album > track # track

using a music player

the options for this are pretty expansive. commonly used players i see include VLC, foobar2000, clementine (or a fork of it called strawberry), and cmus (for the terminal)

you can also totally use iTunes or something. i don't know what audio players other systems come with

i personally use dopamine. it's a little bit slow, but it's got a nice UI and is themeable plus has last.fm support (!!!)

don't let the github page fool you, you don't have to build from source. you can find the releases here

click the "assets" dropdown on the most recent release, and download whichever one is compatible with your OS

syncing

if you're fine with your files just being on one device (perhaps your computer, but perhaps also an USB drive or an mp3 player), you don't have to do this

you can sync with something like google drive, but i hate google more than i hate spotify

you can get a free nextcloud account from one of their providers with 2GB of free storage. you can use webDAV to access your files from an app on your phone or other device (documents by readdle has webDAV support, which is what i use)

disroot and blahaj.land are a couple providers i know that offer other services as well as nextcloud (so you get more with your account), but accounts are manually approved. do give them a look though!!

if you're tech-savvy and have an unused machine lying around, look into self-hosting your own nextcloud, or better yet, your own media server. i've heard that navidrome is a pretty good audio server. i unfortunately don't have experience with self-hosting at the moment so i have like zero advice to give here. yunohost seems to be a really easy way to manage a server

afterword

i don't know if any of this is helpful, but i just wanted to consolidate my personal advice in one place. fuck big tech. own your media, they could take it away from you at any moment

[herecirmsims]

Daddy's Girl

Happy birthday to @simmireen! She didn't ask for anything but I decided to become a problem and make her something anyway because she deserves... low quality poses?... wait that's not right, she deserves the world but I did the best I could. 🥲🤣 Some adult and infant poses inspired by the way baby Aimee has been helping Phil after his car accident in her story!!

Irene should need no introduction but she's been giving us FREE romantic poses for a long time now, and she's also maintaining the TS4-Poses archive which is INVALUABLE for us storytellers, so please show her some love today and every day ❤️

Note: I made these with the base game Simplicit-Ease armchair, and the poses may clip with others because unfortunately none of them have standard widths/arm heights. However! Once in game I realised that the baby is hidden by this chair once they're teleported in, so if you use it you will need to go into first person mode (select infant in the UI menu and hit shit+tab) in order to select and pose them. 🥲

Extra note: I don't often mention the CC in my promo pics because it would be a LOT, and I'm very WCIF-friendly so people can always ask for something specific... but I do want to acknowledge that @xandezsims are doing the lord's work by recolouring the PlazaSim's jerkin that Prince Malik is wearing here 🙏🙏 I use this outfit ALL the time and it's so nice to have different swatches for it!!

You will need: - Pose Player - Teleport Any Sim - Simplicit-Ease chair (or other armchair)

TOU: you may adjust for personal use to avoid clipping etc., but please do not reupload/paywall/claim as your own.

I’d love to see them used! You can tag me on Bluesky, Instagram, or Tumblr. I repost. ❤️

Download here (always free!): SFS | Patreon

You can easily browse more of my posepacks using my Ko-Fi gallery, or by browsing my collections on Patreon. Want to commission me and help support my work? Details here! Want to leave a suggestion for poses you'd like to see? Form here!

@ts4-poses @alwaysfreecc

[returntosunder]

✨️INTRO POST✨️

Hi! This is my Alt account for my Undertale/Utmv Art! My main account is @artofeden

~BASIC BOUNDARIES~

Feel free to use my art for Pfps, headers, anything like that! My only request is to give proper credit

Reposts are ok as well, but just give proper credits please

Im very anti Ai, and i do not consent to use my art for that shit

Feel free to send art requests and asks, just know I'm not obligated to answer them (or I saw them late, for that I apologize)

Im also a very anxious person, so I probably won't answer dms often

This is gonna mostly be an SFW blog. i will NOT draw sexually explicit art.

However, i CAN draw gore/horror art. I will put the proper trigger warnings and a cut to those pieces, but just be aware

My bluesky!

◇Links◇

-My Ink and my Human Ink designs

-My Swap and Dream Designs

-DTIYS!!! Join whenever you want, there's no deadline and it's just for fun <3

♡Tags i use♡

#my art to see all my drawings and #sunders sketchbook for my traditional art!! There is also #sunders asks #sunders reblogs #sundersdtiys and #sunders ramble for when I just need to say something stupid :p

This blog is a bit Ink centric, but know i love other characters too! Feel free to request any character or Aus i should draw, especially cause I still am learning some new aus or trying to relearn other ones (feel free to info dump as well lol)

My favorites are Ink and Nightmare, but I also love Cross, Dust, Fresh, and Lust (note: I just like his design and not his original au)

And Aus i enjoy are Dancetale, Reapertale, and Dreamtale

Fandoms!!!

♡ means I'm currently actively obsessed with

♡ UT/DR/UTMV, ♡ Lego monkie kid, Cult of the lamb, ♡ Epic: The musical, ♡ Cookie run kingdom, ♡ Arcane, ♡ TADC, ♡ Murder drones, ♡ ENA, ♡ Welcome home, Hellaverse, Tmnt, ♡ Poppy playtime, Mouthwashing, Fnaf, Bnha, Sonic, And any game from Studio Investigrave

IMPORTANT

I can't control who follows me, and honestly, I'd rather be left out of any fandom ship discourse. however, I am deeply uncomfortable with proshippers, and I'd rather u not interact with my page.

I will not tolerate any weird asks, and I WILL block you if i feel like it. im only here to post art and look at art. I have tags and people blocked, so i dont see stuff i don't like.

I'm not confrontational, and I don't like drama, I wanna avoid it as much as possible.

I will update this occasionally. All that being said, have a wonderful day <3

[oddballwriter]

Just a Bite:

BBQ ENA &/X Vampire-inspired!reader

Summary: ENA with a Vampire-inspired entity!reader (platonic or romantic)

Warnings: Can be read as platonic or romantic if you want. Reader and ENA are referred to as friends but they can be “friends” if you want to go the romantic route. Cannibalism- Reader has to eat different forms of “life” it live and ENA lets her eat her limbs. Mentions that ENA lets reader eat her limbs so that reader will stay her friend. ENA being self- destructive to please people (reader) despite the fact that it’s implied that it causes her issues and impairments. Reader feeling bad and setting boundaries for ENA. I really don’t know how to describe this fucking shit. Just read it. It’s less weird, or maybe even more weird, idk it’s late as fuck and I got vampire brain worms. Let me know if I should tag anything. Cause I probably should.

Author’s Snip: I don’t know. I was possessed by my vampire brain worms and it’s hella late and I got morning classes tomorrow babes. These melatonin gummies got me just making shit. I’m either COOKING or I’m burning down the fucking kitchen. Either way bone apple teeth.

Notes: Idk reader discretion advised or whatever. Not too sure if this is a dead dove. Let me know if you want more of whatever this is.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Being a digital vampire was interesting. In simple words, you needed to consume other beings’ essence of life or something with it. Like source code or even a piece of their body if you can get a piece. Granted, no one wants the essences of their life to be eaten, but you gotta live too. It’s not really your fault that your code is unstable and need to parasite off of others or else you’ll crash and essentially die

It’s hard making friends though. Everyone always thinks that you’re trying to feed off them, but your need for more sustenance is never-ending and never satisfied. It’s a bit annoying but you don’t blame them. But that left you having to eat the source codes of mannequins, which weren’t all that rich in “the good stuff” as you put it.

It just sucks that people always think you know Dratula even though he’s not really a vampire no matter how hard he tries to sell it

You weren’t sure what called you towards ENA. Her two contrasting personalities that would go back and forth. The way she carried herself? The fact that everyone seemed to shun her too? She just seemed interesting to you.

Her salesperson side was very polite and almost flattering to you. Offering you an appealing sounding product and deal the was most likely just a prism scheme that was well worded. Her meanie side was more rude, but entertaining to you

You sort of just followed her around as she did ‘jobs’ and tried to find the genies of the doors or some other task that she needed to do. You don’t think she really knew what you were and just thought that people were trying to mess with her and also insulting you when they said that you were bad news. It wasn’t until she accidentally got someone killed (think Hoarder Alex) and you decided to have your fill with a loose limb while they were still “fresh”. That honestly freaked her out a bit. You think she actually buffered because the grin of her red side was wiped clean off with a face of pure shock. You feared that you had finally scared away someone you would have considered a friend, and maybe she did think of running for a second. But instead she just tried to go back to her normal self and sort of just avoid to subject, but her meanie side jumped in and just shouted “What the fuck was that?!”

You explained, sort of. Just the basics, you need to leech off of others to live.

All she asked was if you were going to do that to her, to which you said that you don’t want to nor plan to. She just said “Alright.” before she just went back to her salesperson side and continued on, beckoning for you to join in, grinning while saying “We can work over contracts and terms and conditions on a later date. We have more business to attend to.”

You had no clue what she meant by that and was a bit confused about how her Meanie said for the most part talked to you very… she wasn’t yelling or demanding answers. She just asked if you were going to or wanted to eat her source code in an way that seems like concern, confusion, and maybe a bit of intrigue

You both never talked about it again. She’d semi turn a blind eye when you’d take a bite out of a mannequin or something small and insignificant. She only ever asked “How often must this task be fulfilled? What is our quota?” (Asking how often you need to eat) You told her that you just try and get by until you need to feed from something again and that you just eat whatever you can get away with. She just responded with “hmm” and carried on

She’s seen you scrap for anything. A whole mannequin. A pet. One of Cain’s coins. A piece of Coral Glasses’ papers (it didn’t do anything, it was just paper). A leg you yanked out of the blood ocean and had to fight in order to get a proper bite. You tried to take a bite out of a blob person. That didn’t go too well… you didn’t like the taste. And each time ENA just… watched, almost like observing what counts as sustenance for you. Why? You didn’t really know until later.

You’ve seen her ‘die’ a few times and then return in the place of a mannequin. She comes back perfectly fine each time. She could lose her limbs and then she just gets them all back when she comes back around.

You thought about eating one of her limbs when she ‘dies’, but that was crossing a line for you. She was your friend. You don’t eat your friends. Even if she’d be such a good source of code to eat and would sustain you so well compared to all the scraps you eat. But you had to refrain

But one day, you’d gone so long with nothing. The hunger you had wanted something “good”, a real source, not scraps. You tried, you ate, and ate, and ate. You ate all the mannequins you could chase down but they did nothing. You were desperate. Wanting to eat anything and anyone. But you wouldn’t dare be bold enough to just go on a frenzy.

That’s when ENA popped off one of her arms and gave it to you. You heard her meanie side say something about eating it if you’re “that damn hungry” and you didn’t hesitate. You didn’t even realize that she gave you the other one and you ate that up too. It wasn’t until you snapped out of it and looked up seeing her armless that you realized what you’ve done. You apologized but she won’t take it. She just regenerates herself new ones when she dies and comes back and tells you to take whatever you want next time.

And you do

You feel bad though. Awful even.

Yeah, you’d take from random people when go had the chance, and ENA was willingly giving herself for you to eat, and she said that you can take a piece whenever you wanted. But it just felt wrong. Like you were taking advantage of her like everyone else does.

Except instead of taking advantage of the people pleasing part of her business side by giving her a task, you were literally taking parts of her that she wasn’t going to get back unless she came back through a mannequin and settling for using whatever she had left of her till then

Eventually you set a boundary for her despite her insisting that she’s happy to give you everything regardless of the price on her end, even calling it a “Great exchange for your loyal companionship.”. Which just made you feel bad since you’ve been around her long enough to know that it meant that she saw you taking as much as you wanted of her in exchange for you sticking around her.

Anyways. You settled on just taking one, ONE, of the fingers from her clawed hand. Always the middle, so that she can still hold her megaphone in that hand and avoid another incident she had once with a person that made her meanie side come out and a very specific finger. It was enough to sustain you between regenerations since ENA is a bit clumsy sometimes and has to come back quite a bit.

[httpsserene]

𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰/𝐥𝐧𝟒

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you’re upset with the switch up the internet has pulled on you. a few years ago, everybody was saying you were too pretty for lando, but now they’re drooling over him? you will not be letting this slide.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: fluff. mild angst. humor. twt users being twt users. reader is a fashion designer (not important but mentioned). reader is also wild af. brain-rot. not beta-read. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: spice girl • aminé

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: in honor of lando's birthday :) look y’all—i saw one tik tok edit that was like “why is lando kinda…” and i audibly said KINDA???? and then i got mad like, how are people just noticing how fine he is. and then i saw another one that was like, “oh everybody thinks charles is the prettiest on the grid…but now introducing: lando” and i almost threw my phone across the room :) so this is inspired by me flexing that i have always thought lando was fine, and that i’m also mad that i have to share him. loves, this is complete brain rot and it took me years to recreate these ig posts for some reason; have fun reading !!!

all pics are from pinterest/op's

want to be added to my taglist or submit a request? send me an ask!

all of my posts can be found from my table of contents

anything on your mind? talk to me!

twitter • three years ago, 2020

instagram

yninstagram • three years ago, 2020

liked by landonorris, mclaren, maxfewtrell, lewishamilton, and 16,175,978 others

yninstagram lando norris is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. he’s perfection personified. the most soft, kindest, sweetest, considerate, and funniest man has allowed me the privilege of being his girlfriend. i’m forever thankful that we get to grow together. he’s the cutest, hottest, and prettiest boy to ME–and that’s all i care about, and that’s all you need to accept. i don’t give a FUCK about your opinions on who *i* should date. i’m the only person who’s decisions matter concerning my romantic relationships. why the hell should y’all bitches who don’t even use their own photos for their pfp’s and use a k-idol’s face instead, dictate who is hot or not. it’s incredibly vein, disgusting, and immature behavior from people who think they’re my fans. acting like jealous school children isn't cute; i was never your property. it’s hilarious too, considering some of y’all are grown women DOUBLE my age talking shit about my business–go worry about why your kids don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

tagged landonorris

view comments

yninstagram matter of fact, go ahead and change your little profile pictures to real pictures of you, i don’t want to see any filters. then we can all see that all y’all want to do is spread insecurity stemming from your own self-hatred 🙂

yninstagram and while i have you all here, my winter season clothes will be restocked on the 15th.

comments have been disabled.

twitter • imessage • 2023

instagram

landonorris • august 24th • zandvoort ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, carlossainzjr, and 547,930 others

landonorris back in my favorite place

view comments

yninstagram first!! stay back hoes 🤺🤺

➥ user being called a hoe by y/n is not what i expected this year

➥ user she has notif’s 😭on 😭 for 😭 lando 😭

yninstagram how r u so HOT 🥵

yninstagram that sweater is mine now 👺

➥ landonorris i can just get another for you love

➥ yninstagram …i want this one lan🫤

➥ landonorris okay it’s yours 🫠

user neither of them have any backbone when it comes to each other

➥ yninstagram as it should be 😤

user might have to trip and fall into lando’s arms this weekend

➥ yninstagram i’m flying in tomorrow rethink your plan 🙂

➥ user i think i’ll avoid lando like the plague this weekend 😅

➥ user smart decision babes

landonorris • september 12th

liked by yninstagram, lnfour, tumitravel, and 425,395 others

landonorris coming in hot @ tumitravel

view comments

yninstagram come in me—i mean come home to me haha 😳😊

➥ landonorris babe please not in front of the sponsors 😧

➥ tumitravel oh no pls don’t stop for us 🫣 we stan y/n

user i saw this photo shoot LIVE!!! lando was so sweet, he signed my hat for me, and he smells so good ���😩

➥ yninstagram i’ll chop off your nose and then you can be voldemort for halloween 👺

user i don’t know if i want to choke him or have him choke ME

➥ yninstagram how about me choking you

➥ user omg i’m down for a threesome 😳

➥ yninstagram choking you to death :)

➥ user i don’t wanna play this game anymore

landonorris • september 18th • singapore ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 950,706 others

landonorris whatttaaaaa weekend ❤

view comments

yninstagram GODDAMN

carlossainzjr vamossss landito ❤️💪🏼���

➥ landonorris ayyyy 🧡🥳🥳

➥ yninstagram my boysssss 🥰

yninstagram that’s my boyfriend 🤤

➥ landonorris last photo is just for you 😋

yninstagram so proud of you baby, i’m running out of room to put all these trophies <3

➥ landonorris v happy to be your trophy husband

user i’m in love with this singapore haircut 🤤 thank you for not fucking it up lando 😅

➥ yninstagram mmm yes, i’m thrilled it’s still long on the top 😍 it gives me something to tug on

user surprised y/n allowed him to post that last one

➥ yninstagram he doesn’t need my permission, but i get to see him naked so i rdc

user quadrant helmet it so beautiful! i want it to stay 😭

➥ user i want him to fuck me with it on

➥ yninstagram out of pocket…but completely valid honestly—delete your account 😊

liked by landonorris

yninstagram carlando 1-2 makes up for the war i’m fighting in these comments

mclaren • novemeber 8th

liked by landonorris, f1, yninstagram, and 97,293 others

mclaren pulling up fresh with @ landonorris

view comments

yninstagram not pictured: @ landonorris pulling up to OUR flat

➥ user y/n said “he’s coming home with meeeee”

f1 does he come with the jacket👀

➥ yninstagram no, but the price of me folding you like a lawn chair is included in shipping & handling

➥ f1 i’ll go sit down 😅

➥ user she’s fighting the f1 main??? this is mentally-ill behavior y/n!!!

yninstagram mclaren admin go stand in a corner and stare at the wall

➥ mclaren they made me post this!!! i would NEVER risk upsetting you ma’am 🙇🏼‍♀️

➥ yninstagram no talking from the timeout corner 🫵🏽

user we don’t care about the jacket. which organ do i have to sell to buy an hour with him?

➥ yninstagram both kidneys

➥ user but you need at least one kidney to live?

➥ yninstagram how,,,unfortunate

user model!lando always glowssssss

➥ yninstagram it’s the 9 step skincare routine i have him on, you can follow steps 1-8 on his ig

➥ user what’s step 9?

➥ yninstagram kissing me 🤭

lando.jpg • novemeber 13th • with my wife ⚑

liked by yninstagram, carlossainzjr, mclaren, team_quadrant, and 976,234 others

lando.jpg lucky to have found you so early in my life. you're my best birthday gift.

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram posting my side boob on the jpg account? forgiven since you called me your wife 🥺

➥ lando.jpg thought i’d start practicing your future title, mrs. norris

➥ yninstagram come back to bed. you can start practicing giving me your kids too.

user i want y/n to bury my head in between her boobs

➥ lando.jpg no. i sleep there also—you’re blocked 🤗

danielricciardo as long as i’m the godfather, i can forget i’ve ever read this 🤮

➥carlossainzjr get in line mate, i’ve called being baby norris’ godfather ages ago

➥maxverstappen wait your turn mates, clearly i am the correct choice for godfather

➥maxfewtrell ah, i believe you lads have forgotten my existence

➥yninstagram baby norris doesn’t exist yet, no need to fight to the death rn 🙄

➥lando.jpg i’ll convince the mrs to have four, for my racing number and so you each have a godchild 😅

user y/n may have won the war, but i’ve won the battle—bisexuals have been fed today!!!

➥user girl, i’m straight and i’ve zoomed in on the last photo an unhealthy amount of times

➥user i diagnose you with y/n-sexuality it’s incredibly common in humans

liked by lando.jpg

oscarpiastri you two are made for each other 😀

➥lando.jpg this sounds like an insult 🙂

➥yninstagram i thought kids under 13 weren’t allowed on ig

➥oscarpiastri you’re not even a year older than me @ yninstagram

mclaren mama y papa

➥ yninstagram still on timeout.

➥ mclaren :(

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

© httpsserene2023

[morguevita]

synopsis. for months, san and wooyoung have been drawn to each other in the office. they exchange long glances and brush past each other, creating a spark. san is the boss. sharp, confident and hard to reach. wooyoung is the only person who stands firm under his gaze and the only one who lingers after hours in the office, tempting fate. after all, the real work doesn’t begin until the office is empty.

tags. dom!san, sub!woo, soft!dom, teasing, slow burn (?), workplace romance, sexual tension, oral, blowjob, kissing, semi-public, praise kink, power play, dirty talk, aftercare

pairings. boss!san x employee!woo

authors note. ok this shit kinda got me twirling my hair around my finger and my heart POUNDING. i had an account refresh I WAS WBTSAN OK DONT FORGET THAT!! and i already hate this layout so much. oops :3

the office was quiet after 7pm. the usual conversations had stopped, the lights dimmed in empty spaces and only the low hum of the air conditioning system was left. most people had gone home but wooyoung remained at his desk, tapping his fingers on the keyboard and focused on his screen. he had loosened his tie and undone the top buttons of his shirt, showing his collarbone. the low light made him look appealing. san noticed this more than he wanted to. he leaned against the glass partition of his office, one leg crossed over the other, sipping coffee that was no longer hot. he stared openly, something he had been doing more over the last few months. wooyoung didn’t seem to notice or chose not to acknowledge it. maybe he liked the attention. "you should have gone home an hour ago,” san said, his voice smooth but hinting at something deeper. wooyoung didn’t look up from his screen. “i could say the same about you.” san smirked. “but i am the boss.” wooyoung finally looked at him, a slight smile forming. “right. you can do what you want.” san tilted his head and walked over to wooyoung's desk, leaning in close but not crossing a line. “do you think i don’t see you stay late when i do?” he asked quietly, almost intimately.

wooyoung paused and then really looked at him. “coincidence,” he replied. san laughed softly, lacking humor. “try again.” silence filled the room, both of them tense. wooyoung leaned back in his chair, studying san. “what if i told you i did it on purpose?” san's expression tightened. he set his cup down on the desk. “then i'd say we have a problem.” “why?” wooyoung challenged, his voice steady but with a hint of breathlessness. “are you worried someone will find out that you look at me like that?” “i'm not worried,” san said, leaning closer, one hand on the desk beside wooyoung's. “i'm frustrated that i can’t touch you when i want to.” wooyoung's breath caught. this was the moment they both had been avoiding. months of close conversations, accidental touches and lingering gazes had brought them here. san's hand brushed against wooyoung's, making him tremble slightly. “you think i haven’t noticed how you smell when you walk by?” san whispered. “or how your eyes fall on my mouth when i talk?” wooyoung swallowed hard, his pupils dilated in the dim light. “you've been playing with fire,” san murmured. “and i've been patient.” wooyoung licked his lips, his breath shaky. “then stop being patient.”

san didn’t move for a second. he just stared at wooyoung like he was daring him to take it back. like he needed to make sure he’d heard right. that this wasn’t another half sleep fantasy from too many late nights and too much coffee, watching wooyoung roll his sleeves up with that damn nonchalance that made san's blood rush south. but wooyoung didn’t look away. didn't flinch. didn't regret. san's hand shifted, slow but certain, tracing along wooyoung's wrist, the touch featherlight but electrifying. he felt the quickening pulse beneath the skin. "say it again,” san murmured, voice low and frayed. wooyoung's jaw clenched for a moment, then relaxed, his voice husky. “stop being patient.” san's breath left him in a soft, dangerous sound. half growl, half laugh. "careful what you ask for,” he said. and then he was leaning in. closer, finally close enough to breathe wooyoung in, to let the scent of aftershave and skin flood him. his nose brushed wooyoung's cheek as he whispered, “i've wanted to ruin you since the day you walked into my office with that pretty mouth and that 'i don’t give a fuck’ look in your eyes.” wooyoung exhaled sharply, his hands gripping the arms of his chair like he didn’t know where else to hold. he could feel san's warmth, the heat rolling off him like a wave temptation in human form. "and what stopped you?” he asked, breath shaky.

san let his lips ghost over wooyoung's jaw, not quite kissing, just enough to tease. “you. with your damn control. always so calm. so collected. made me wonder how long it’d take to crack you open.” wooyoung's hands finally moved. one grabbing san's tie, the other gripping the edge of his jacket. the sudden pull caught san off guard, yanking him closer until there was no space left between them. his mouth hovered over wooyoung's, just a breath away. "you talk too much,” wooyoung said, voice thick with tension. "and you’re impossible,” san muttered, closing the distance. but not kissing him. not yet. he lingered, his lips brushing but not claiming, letting the anticipation coil tighter, hotter. wooyoung let out a sound. frustrated, needy. san's hand came up to cup the side of wooyoung's face, thumb brushing his cheekbone. his possessiveness bled through in the way he held him. not rough, but unyielding. certain. like his. “you're mine,” he whispered, the words seething between them. wooyoung's eyes fluttered shut at the weight of it. “then take me.” and without thinking twice, san kissed him. finally. and it was everything it had promised to be. months of tension poured into one molten crash of lips, all heat and hunger and desperate restraint. san kissed him like he was claiming territory, like he wanted to make wooyoung feel who he belonged to with every press of his mouth. wooyoung responded just as fiercely, tugging san closer, hands tangled in his jacket, kissing back like a man starved. the chair scraped back a little as san climbed into his lap, straddling him right there at his desk. their lips never broke contact. san's hands slipped under wooyoung's shirt, fingertips grazing over hard lines of muscle, eliciting a sharp breath and a quiet curse. the office around them faded into irrelevance. there was only the heat between them. the burn. the ache. the long, drawn out fall they’d both tried to ignore.

wooyoung's back hit the desk with a soft thud, papers fluttering beneath him, but neither of them cared. san hovered over him, eyes dark, wild with months of restraint finally shattered. his tie hung loose around his neck, his shirt rumpled from wooyoung's fists pulling him closer like he couldn’t stand the distance anymore. wooyoung's lips were swollen, red, glistening from the kiss that had left them both breathless. san's mouth curled into a smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes. it was too full of want, of obsession. “i waited this long because i wanted every second of it to matter.” his hands were already working at wooyoung's shirt, unbuttoning with slow and deliberate movements like he was unwrapping something sacred. when the fabric parted, san let out a sound low in his throat. part reverence, part hunger. wooyoung's breath hitched as san leaned down, kissing his sternum, his lips warm and open against his skin. he followed a slow, torturous path down his torso. lips, tongue, teeth, leaving goosebumps in his wake. wooyoung's hand threaded through his hair, fingers curling tight when san bit lightly at his hip, grinning when wooyoung gasped. "you're cruel,” wooyoung muttered, half-laugh, half-moan. san looked up at him through his lashes. “i told you, youngie. i've been patient.” he undid wooyoung's belt with a practiced ease, his fingers slow but precise. when he finally slid the fabric away, his palms brushed over wooyoung's thighs, warm and commanding, sending sparks through his skin.

theee was no rush in san's touch. only intent. he wanted to memorize everything. and then, with one smooth movement, wooyoung was exposed to him, body arching at the cool air hitting hot skin, nerves frayed and desperate. san's gaze dragged over him as he was soaking in every inch like he was reading something private. wooyoung swallowed hard, hand reaching for him. “san—” “shh,” he soothed, leaning in, brushing his mouth against wooyoung"s inner thigh. “let me.” he didn’t waste another second. his mouth found wooyoung with slow, devastating precision. hot, wet, perfect. wooyoung let out a strangled noise, hips twitching, but san pinned him down with strong hands, keeping him in place, owning every reaction. he worked him over with the kind of skill that only came from knowing exactly what would drive someone mad. alternating between soft sucks and firm pressure, teasing and rewarding, never fully giving in. wooyoung's hand gripped the edge of the desk like he might fall through it. “f-fuck, san—” "say my name again,” san demanded, voice rough and possessive against him. “sannie ..,” wooyoung groaned, helpless. “god—please.” san pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, his lips slick. “you begging already?” wooyoung shot him a glare but it was ruined by the way he whimpered when san's hand wrapped around him, stroking slow and hard. “i hate you.” “you love me,” san said simply before swallowing him again like a man starved. the room filled with the sounds of slick heat and breathless curses, wooyoung's voice breaking every time san moaned around him. he was unraveling. composure shattered, control slipping fast. and san? he was loving every second of it. cuz this. this was what he wanted all along. to make wooyoung fall apart. just for him.

wooyoung was close. san could feel it in the way his thighs tensed beneath his palms, in the frantic rise and fall of his chest, in the desperate way his fingers clawed at the edge of the desk like he needed something to ground him. but san gave him nothing to hold onto. nothing but the relentless heat of his mouth, the drag of his tongue, the slick pressure of his hand working in a fast pace until wooyoung was panting out murmured curses that barely sounded like words. “s-san—” wooyoung gasped, voice hoarse. “i'm—shit— i can’t—” san didn’t let up. if anything, he tightened his grip, pulled him deeper, drew out every last ounce of control wooyoung had left. cuz he wanted to see it. to feel it when wooyoung let go, completely. and he did. with a broken cry, back arched clean off the desk, his whole body trembling as the release tore through him. san held him down through it, swallowing every wave, every twitch until wooyoung collapsed against the desk like he’d been gutted. breathless. boneless. utterly wrecked. san finally pulled back, licking his lips like he couldn’t bear to waste a drop, then leaned over wooyoung,# heaving chest, brushing sweat-damp hair away from his flushed forehead. wooyoung's eyes were shut, mouth parted, breathing ragged.

"you okay?” san whispered, voice low, all the cockiness stripped from it now. just raw affection beneath. wooyoung nodded slowly, lashes fluttering open. he blinked up at san like he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. “that was… fuck.” san smiled, soft and a little crooked. “yeah?” “i can’t feel my legs.” san let out a warm laugh and kissed his cheek, lingering there for a second longer than necessary. “good.” wooyoung swatted his shoulder weakly. “you're such an asshole.” “you like it,” san murmured and then, quieter, “you're mine, now.” wooyoung's hand slid up to cup san's face. “i always was.” that stopped san in his tracks. for a second, all the sharp edges he used to keep himself distant. the teasing, the bravado, the control. they just… fell away. he leaned into wooyoung's touch, eyes fluttering shut. “come home with me,” he whispered. wooyoung didn’t even hesitate. “yeah. okay.” san helped him sit up, kissed his shoulder, helped smooth his shirt back down even though they both looked completely fucked out. for once, the office felt warm and not like living in antartica. like the tension that always buzzed between them had shifted into something softer. something real. as they gathered their things, san glanced over with a smirk. “by the way,” he said, “you’re never working late alone again.” wooyoung raised a brow. “possessive much?” san stepped close, lips brushing his ear. “you have no idea.”

[amphitriteswife]

Goo dating headcanons

💸 Dating goo can be a real roller coaster. A fun roller coaster that is. There could be problems here and there but in his eyes it’s nothing he can’t solve. Yes it is true that sometimes he prioritizes his job over you sometimes. But that’s because his job is very ‘demanding.’ But it pays well, so he hopes you understand.

💸 Fair dates, cinema dates, shopping spree, restaurants, coffee dates and karaoke dates. (Sometimes with jonggun tagging along even though he himself doesn’t want to and goo forced invited him to go) he can’t always make it, but he does make it up to you in one way or another. Always.

💸 if you go to a far date, expect him to scream and yell in every attraction you go to. Yes he’s afraid of heights. Too bad you didn’t know, you have to put with him now. Luckily he don’t throw up. Oh but he WILL try the claw machine’s and not win shit. He spent a lot of money on it too by the way. Bro might start crying. Or just sit on the ground or sum. You might even feel bad for dawg😔

💸 if you are the one to actually win a plushie and give it to him, bro will scream. He’ll immediately hug it and start thanking you. You bet he’s taking pictures of it and posting it on all his socials. Even sending it to groupchats and Jonggun himself with a caption of ‘look what my girlfriend got me hehe😝😈’ and yes he also sends it to you. He’s putting the plush on his bed or in a special shrine he made with gifts from you.

💸 personally, i think Goo also seems to be a best friend and boyfriend. He would want to be in love and love you if you get what i mean. Ofcourse his best friend is jonggun, but that’s different from how he loves you. A main thing that is important to him is understanding, you don’t need to accept. Just understanding for him is enough.

💸 If you date Goo, it’s high likely that you too are a fan of anime. He doesn’t really mind which type you are. Manga, manhwa, anime, donghua even BL or GL. He doesn’t really care which one you enjoy. He just likes the swords in em you know. He would probably talk for you about his favorites and you about yours. It could be that the two of you read/ watch together of that you made trades on watching each other’s faves. For him it feels like he can share a hobby with you which he appreciates.

💸 I can see you meeting Goo at a bookstore. Both of you at the Manga section eyeing the same manga. You having if in your hands first and Goo demanding that you give it to him with a serious gaze, however his face would twist in mild surprise when you do actually hand it to him. He would say he is joking but you would insist that he can take it, he would find your indifference and calm nature intriguing. He would stare at you for a while you pick at another manga and decide to buy that one instead. You didn’t bother arguing with him because you didn’t think you’ll see him again. Unfortunately, he kept showing up even when he saw you avoid him. Which eventually made him say. ‘Miss. Go on a date with me.’

💸 Goo likes to call you ‘sugar’ or ‘sweetheart.’ Because he thinks you’re lively, sweet, addictive and always lighten his heart. He feels as if he can say anything to you, no matter what it is. Sometimes he even wants to tell you everything about his job, but he knows he can’t because it’ll put you in danger and he can’t risk that. You mean too much to him to make you see the stuff he does.

💸 Now when it comes to you being Goo’s girlfriend. There are a lot of people you don’t know who are in Goo’s life. And he also doesn’t think it would be relevant for you to know all of them. He would probably introduce you to Jonggun who wonders why you haven’t left Goo yet. And maybe James who is rather aloof and is on pretty neutral terms with you. Its save to say that James likes you better than Goo. Jonggun on the other hand doesn’t necessarily engage with you, but does little things like asking you to look after Goo or keeping him on a leash.

💸 Goo would go to concerts with you. Even if he doesn’t listen to the same music as you. He’ll make sure he handles everything from tickets to seats to time stamps. He’s pretty laid back about it too, he has it handled but isn’t stern about it. He’ll buy you merch if that’s what you want, even going as far as to go buy it himself during the concert so that you can still enjoy seeing your artist(s). If it’s in another country he’ll ditch his work probably and still go with you anyway. If the concert has lightsticks you can be rest assured: he already bought those.

I’m sorry it’s short. I ran out ideas😭

[runninriot]

Another Love

written for the @corrodedcoffinfest pop-up event It's Complicated

wc: 1.966 | rated: M | tags: past friends with benefits Eddie/Jeff, newly established Steddie, unrequited love, complicated feelings, mild hurt/comfort, friendship | also on ao3

   “Guys, this is Steve. Steve, these are the guys. My best friends, who will not embarrass me today. Right?”

Eddie laughs, tries not to let his nerves show by making a silly grimace in the direction of Gareth, who lovingly scoffs and rolls his eyes, says ‘You don’t need us for that, you’re pretty good at embarrassing yourself‘, just to be a little shit. And maybe that’s good, because it means they’re not pretending to be something they’re not. There’s no need to mask who they are in front of Steve, Eddie knows that.

He knows that, once they’ve warmed up to each other, they’ll get along just fine. But still, he can’t shake the funny feeling in his gut.

This is a big deal for him, finally introducing his boyfriend to the people who, apart from Wayne, mean most to him in this world. He wants, no, needs them to accept this new person in his life, because there is one thing he’s absolutely certain of – Steve is here to stay.

Gareth and Doug, being the lifesavers they are, immediately start wrapping Steve up in a conversation and it helps ease Eddie’s nerves a bit. But out of the corner of his eyes, he can see the tension in Jeff’s shoulders. Can sense his resentment of the situation even if Jeff is obviously trying his best not to show it.

He stands off to the side, pretending to tune his guitar which he’s definitely not. Eddie knows he’s already done that before even coming to the venue. Out of all of them, Jeff’s always been the closest to a professional.

It’s something Eddie admires, one of those things he loves about him.

Jeff and Eddie go way back, met long before Gareth and Doug entered the picture. They’ve been friends forever, through thick and thin, always together against the rest of the world.

He’d never admit it out loud but Jeff’s opinion matters most. And that’s not only because he’s his best best friend. It’s also because he doesn’t know what he’d do if Jeff didn’t give him his blessing. There’s so much at stake here, so much to possibly end in ruins. This is so much more complicated than just wanting his friend's approval - there's more to consider. More to fight for. So that's what Eddie is willing to do.

   “Hey, man,” Eddie claps Jeff on the back trying to act casual, ignoring the twisted knots in his stomach. “Can we talk?”

   “If it’s about your boyfriend, then no.”

Jeff takes a big swig from his beer, the look in his eyes unusually cold and distant.

   “Come on, man. I thought we agreed that-”

   “Well, I’ve changed my mind. Look, Eddie. I’m happy for you, I really am. But you cannot expect me to put on a brave face and pretend that this doesn’t fuck me up.”

His words slice through Eddie like a knife, sharp and quick, no mercy on his heart.

Eddie probably deserves it for thinking he could ignore the giant ass elephant in the room and simply wait it out. Wait for the problem to solve itself, for everything to go back to normal, back to easy. Because truth is, there is nothing easy about this.

Eddie knew from the start that this would be complicated, no matter how much he wished it wasn’t. He knew and yet, stupid as he is, he still hoped they could just... move on. Not forget but maybe lock up the memories of a different time and go back to how things were before. When they were just friends, no feelings involved. At least not those kind of feelings.

   “I’m sorry, Jeff,” he says, head tilted down to avoid his friend’s piercing gaze, “I know it’s-“

It’s what? Hard? Unfair? Well, yeah, obviously. At least from Jeff’s point of view. But what is Eddie supposed to do? He didn’t choose to fall in love with someone else, it just happened. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have feelings for Jeff, only they’re different now. Not that he ever-

It’s a cruel thought, even though it’s true. They both know it because Eddie never pretended to be in love when he wasn’t. Was he attracted to Jeff? Oh, absolutely. Otherwise they wouldn’t have ended up in bed together. More than once. And it wasn't just the prospect of easy sex that had Eddie coming back for more - it was the thought of falling asleep in Jeff's arms. To be held by someone who makes you feel safe and cared for. He loved the kisses and giggles and how okay it was to be vulnerable and open because there's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide because Jeff already knows everything about him.

The problem is, while it had all started out as casual fun between mates, something changed over time. Something Eddie noticed too late or he would’ve ended it sooner. Jeff never told him about his feelings, so that’s on him, but it is just as much Eddie’s fault because- he should’ve known anyway. Should’ve noticed the shift. But he hadn’t. Or maybe he simply refused to acknowledge it. Selfishly ignored it until he couldn’t anymore.

When he met Steve, he instantly knew he needed to put his cards on the table and come clean about what this would mean for him and Jeff. Told him about this guy he likes – ‘Don’t know if it’s mutual but I’d like to give it a shot, see where it’s going. Maybe it’s nothing but maybe- I think he could be the one.’

And at first, Jeff seemed to be fine with that. Said he understood that they couldn’t hook up anymore. Said he’d miss the fucking but ‘Eh, whatever.’

Only it wasn’t whatever.

But Eddie was so lost in his own head, so caught up on Steve, Steve, Steve that he didn’t see what it was doing to Jeff. Didn’t notice him pulling away more and more until Gareth mentioned it. Asked if something had happened between the two because they were acting weird.

So, when he finally confronted Jeff, things seemed... okay. Better. At least that’s what he thought when Jeff told him he’d get over it, that he just needed some time to adjust. Promised Eddie that nothing had changed when it came to their friendship but right now, Eddie isn’t so sure about that anymore.

And it kills him.

Makes him lie awake at night because he can’t stop thinking about all the worst possible outcomes. What if this breaks up the band? What if Eddie loses his best friend?

   “I don’t want to lose you, Jeff.”

    You’re up in five, someone calls from the side of the stage and Eddie knows this is the worst possible timing for a heart-to-heart. They should be getting ready, he should be talking to his boyfriend who he abandoned and left with people he doesn’t really know, in a place he’s never been to before. But he can’t step away, can’t leave it like that, not when Jeff still hasn’t said anything.

   “I need you. You’re my best friend and I- I love you.”

It’s a stupid thing to say, to use this word, this feeling that is the cause for this mess and the reason for Jeff’s pain. But it’s the right word nonetheless, because it’s the truth. Eddie loves him. Maybe not like he loves Steve but different from the way he loves Gareth and Doug. This love goes deeper than friendship, soul-deep.

   “I love you. You’re important to me and I know- I know you're hurt and I am sorry but I can’t change that my heart belongs to Steve.”

Eddie can’t stop, knows he should because right now, he’s only talking himself deeper into the hole he dug for himself. But he refuses to lie, refuses to try to appease Jeff with false hope – he needs to know where they stand. And if that means Jeff will tell him to fuck off, if that will be the end of their friendship, then-

   “I hate you.”

Eddie’s heart stops at Jeff's words, eyes filling with tears as he braces himself for the biggest regret he'll ever have in his life.

   “I hate you so much for even thinking you could ever lose me!”

They’ve got eyes on them now, Eddie can feel it, but he doesn’t care. Can’t, not when Jeff moves closer, taking one of Eddie’s hands to place it on his chest, right above his heart.

   “It hurts. It fucking hurts. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Eddie doesn’t know what to say, just sniffs and blinks away the tears blurring his vision.

   “It’ll take some time for me to... get over this. But you and me, we’re bound for life, man. So don’t you ever think you’re getting rid of me. You hear me, asshole?”

Jeff smiles at him and even though there’s still sadness in his eyes, Eddie can feel that he means it.

   “Uh... sorry to interrupt but, um, they said you’re up next so I-“

When Eddie turns to the voice coming from behind, he finds Steve standing there, hands in his pocket, nervously looking to the side.

   “I’ll be down there somewhere. Have- have fun.”

Steve’s about to turn around, ready to step away but Eddie can't let him go like that, so he stops him.

   “Baby, wait!”

He looks back at Jeff, hoping, praying to find what he’s searching for in the other man’s eyes.

   “Go on, your boyfriend looks like he’s waiting for a kiss. Would be rude to leave him hanging.”

   “Are you gonna be mad at me if I do?” Eddie’s not asking for permission to kiss his boyfriend, not really. But he’s willing to tone it down around Jeff if that’s what it takes.

Jeff scoffs, lets go of Eddie’s hand and takes a step back.

   “So mad. But I’ll get to have you all to myself for the next 40 minutes so I guess it’s fine,” he jokes and it feels like a peace offering. Like maybe it’s the first step to better, before hopefully they can go back to how things were when everything was good, not complicated.

   “I love you,” Eddie says again just because.

   “Love you too, man. Now go take care of your man and then let’s get this fucking show started.”

Eddie nods, taking another moment to look at his best friend before walking over to Steve.

   “Everything good with you and Jeff?” Steve asks quietly as Eddie wraps his arms around his middle to pull him close.

   “I think it will be, yeah.”

Eddie's glad he never made a secret out of his past with Jeff, couldn’t bear withholding something so crucial from Steve. He needed him to know that no matter what, Jeff will always play an important role in his life. That if Steve wanted to be with him, he’d have to accept that there will always be a place in his heart that’s occupied by someone else.

Steve throws a look over Eddie’s shoulder and smiles to himself before leaning in to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

   “Is that all?” Eddie asks when his boyfriend pulls away, leaving him longing for more.

   “For now,” Steve confirms with a wink, “Your friends are waiting.”

With that, he wanders off into the crowd and Eddie, for the first time in weeks, feels a weight lift off his shoulders and heart.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Maybe it just needs time and trust and mutual understanding.

He’s willing to try, willing to do everything to make this work

Because what he’s definitely not willing to do, is to give up one love for another.

[veryace-ficrecs]

TimKon Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

pain is cold water by sleepdeprivedphilosopher - Rated T

“Kon is getting an apartment,” Tim says and his fingers are digging into his lifeline. “He needs a roommate.” He doesn’t, but Tim prays he won’t mind. “Where?” Dick demands then winces at his tone. “San Francisco,” Tim answers. Tim was never meant to be a permanent part of the Batfamily. He took on the role of Robin because Batman needs a Robin, but Batman has a Robin and even more people in his corner now and he doesn’t need Tim. or Tim is used to putting his wants up on a shelf in favor of what the people around him need, but maybe it’s time for him to take them down, dust them off, and see what’s inside.

Top Shelf Goods by JpegDotJpeg - Rated T

“You know,” Conner started after licking his thumb and trying to rub off the near illegible numbers scrawled onto his inner wrist. “If my sixteen year old self heard me say this he’d have a conniption, but I’m getting really tired of people trying to hookup with me.”

“Well, I’d offer to pretend to be your girlfriend, but I actually am trying to get laid tonight,” Cassie explained, then drained the rest of her glass.

“Don’t worry, Kon,” Tim said, without putting an ounce of forethought into it. “I’ll scare them off for you.”

Or, Tim pretends to be Conner's boyfriend, just to help him avoid unwanted attention. Because that's what friends do. Pretend to be romantically involved even though they are definitely not interested in each other in that way and it would totally never happen. Definitely.

Fetching by Salmon_Pink - Rated E

Krypto likes to take care of Kon as much as Kon likes to take care of Krypto. When Kon is hungry, Krypto fetches him food. When Kon is sleepy, Krypto fetches him blankets. And when Kon is horny, Krypto fetches him Tim. Which leaves Kon the not-so-fun job of awkwardly explaining to Red Robin why he's been dragged to Smallville in the middle of the night by a well-meaning superdog.

The Dating Habits Of Batfish by Calamityjim - Not Rated

Tim and Conner spend some time together.

fill in the blanks by mindshelter - Rated T

“You?” Tim blurts. Holy shit. “You’re Kon?” A nod. “Are you in any pain?” he asks again. Kon’s skin is sun-kissed, cheekbones dusted with a fine smattering of freckles; he is, without exaggeration, the prettiest person Tim has ever seen. “No, I’m—great,” he says, fidgeting. “Do you, uh, come here often?” Kon raises a brow. “To the medbay?” he intones. “Definitely more often than I’d prefer.”

And I'll Tell You No Lies by caecily - Rated G

In a universe where you can't lie to your soulmate, it doesn't take long for Robin to run into trouble with Superboy.

time flies by by Laroyena - Rated T

Jon Kent is Superboy. Tim's gut instinct tells him that's wrong. (Timkon fix-it where reboot!Tim misses Kon like a phantom limb. And then he gets him back.)

there when the light comes in by shipyrds - Rated E

“Well, that was fun,” Tim said, his hands shoved into his pockets. “It was a nice plan, but you know us. We can just drive back to San Francisco and I’ll get a flight.” Kon looked at his posture, the quintessentially Tim tilt of his head. “No, dude, are you kidding me? You’re gonna deny me this rite of passage? Get back in the car. It’s gonna be epic.” Tim had smiled, a big bright thing that lasted all the way until they got back on the highway and Kon tried to fight him for the aux cord because like hell was he going to listen to the same Marina and the Diamonds EP for 57 hours. — tim and kon go on an epic cross-country road trip and have some realizations!

Obligatory Nap Time by egg_thief - Rated G

“I know what you’re doing,” Tim says with a sigh, wrapping his arms loosely around Kon’s waist as he feels himself relaxing against his will. “It won’t work.” Kon hums. “You sure? Your heart rate is slowing. And your breathing is evening out.” Tim curses under his breath. “I’m not gonna fall asleep though.” “Sure you aren’t,” Kon murmurs, still softly petting at Tim’s hair. Or: Tim hasn’t been sleeping lately. Kon’s determined to at least get him to take a nap

apple cider blues by merils - Rated T

A farmer's market rolls around in beautiful autumnal Smallville. Kon asks Tim to be his pretend boyfriend for the day, in order to stave off some old ladies who, upon finding out that he's gay, have been trying to set him up with their bisexual grandson. And surely the matchmaking grannies are the only reason Kon wants Tim to be his date at the farmer's market. It's too bad, because Tim would really love it if this was a real date, but... it's not like he'd ever say no to Kon, not when Kon asks him with those big ol' Kent family puppy-dog eyes. So here he is. Pining. At a farmer's market. (...Someone should probably tell Kon that this date is fake.)

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship by LilliputianDuckling - Rated G

Kon-El is a clone of Superman, grown in a lab with implanted memories of whatever a bunch of scientists decided was important information.

Seeing Robin today, there seems to be a gap in his education.

Superboy discovers he likes boys

there you were by mindshelter - Rated T

“You know, the cool thing about me,” Tim says, voice gone quiet and petal-soft, “is that even when I didn’t care whether I lived or not, I was pretty goddamn hard to kill.” Kon sighs, eyes glued to his feet. His hand is still encircled around Tim’s arm, trailing up to the bend of his elbow. “Also, who has the worse track record with dying, between the two of us?” Well, Kon thinks, that’s—that’s rude. “For fuck’s sake.” Kon throws his head back and groans, but it’s nullified by the upward twitch of his mouth. “That was terrible.” And definitely meant to lighten the mood. Tim is playing him like a harp, and he knows it; he grins back, wriggling free to knock Kon on the shoulder.   or; in the wake of a suck-ass year, kon and tim gravitate back together.

His Tiny Person by awhitehead17 - Rated G

"Kryptonian's have something called soulmates and every single Kryptonian has one. We know who our soulmates are because mini versions of them manifest to us. To begin with you won't recognise them, or even know their name, until you actually meet them in person. You will meet, you are destined to, but whether you get along or not is another story." When Kon finds a tiny person hanging around him he's extremely confused but comes to adore him anyway. However its still a complete shock when Kon learns that he's known his soulmate for years and has just never realised it.

[kaheney]

hi! i was wondering if youd be able to write a bakugou x fem! reader fanfic where class 1A locks them in a closet together? It can be angst or fluff! U can write about how they react and stuff? Maybe they argued prior or they are just playing a game! Its Up to you! Have an awesome night :)!!!

– note!

Hii, thank you so much for being my first request !! I love writing teenage angst/fluff <333

💥 KATSUKI X FEM READER. ( Established Relationship ) — SFW

POC friendly, readers appearance, race, and quirk isn't stated, imagine how you wanna imagine, reader and Katsuki are in first year but nearing end of year, class 1-A students mentioned.

Tag rating: Fluff (🐑) and a little angst (☃️).. oh and teenage romance (🌠)

summary..

You and Katsuki get into a little fight about his attitude, storming off a little before game night. Your friends had a little plan set for you, just so you can fix your differences out.

It was just supposed to be a fun game for class 1-A, your usual teenage shenanigans.. but oh how funny it was for you.

It had just been a recent argument, you and Katsuki weren't supposed to get into a fight during the afternoon on the day they were going to have a game night for the class. It was some really ‘stupid’ disagreement on how Katsuki treated you. Sure he loved you so much but could you really feel it the way he tried showing it?

…

“ I just want you to be more honest! No “oks”, no leaving me on read or- or— brushing me off with these kinds of topics! “, your voice strained, hair falling on your face as you angerly stuttered out your words.

“ Why do you have to worry about that shit all the time? I'm honest with you! Just because I don't do that shit doest mean I don't give a fuck? “, Katsuki argued back, god why was it so frustrating? Why was he this hard headed just to give some proportionate amount of attention to the girl he loved.

“ Fuck you! “, you stormed off, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill through your eyes. You weren't that kind of person, you didn't want to convince yourself that you'd cry just because of a few words he said.. so you stomped, slammed the door and headed to your room to scream at the balcony window like it was him.

…

Now you sipped water, sitting down with a few pillows to the side of you, Mina sat down on the side without a pillows. It was just great how she caught you screaming at the balcony window, all she wanted to do was to call you to say they set up snacks and the common room’s living area was ready for you to snuggle beside Katsuki to (that's what they'd like to dramatize it to).. or at least sit beside him in.

“ Uh, girl, so like.. did you and Bakugo fight or? Is he moping– “, Mina trailed off.. you dug your hands into your legs, sitting cross legged and putting the glass of water down on the fluffy carpet. The rest of the class was finding their way to sit down in a round sitting arrangement.. snacks near the people who needed it, a little laughter. All you could focus your eyes on in the crowd of people was Katsuki who avoided you to go sit with Eijiro.

Of course, as always he'd avoid you.. but hell, you didn't want to talk to him after what he said. “ It's nothing. He'll probably get over it again “, you muttered, not making it clear if you guys had an argument or not or if he was just moping. Mina sighed, sitting with her legs tucked into her chest, she looked at her classmates, her eyes landing on Katsuki's glare and you and her before it steered clear of it. It was a piercing glare, you were used to it.

…

The night proceeded as usual, truth or dare, some weird confessions and actions. It was hours enough to entertain everyone with truth or dare, but after Denki got tired of the same thing and the others running out of asks and dares, they all decided to have a classic game of 7 minutes in heaven.

It was a classic, a cheesy one at that.. since you and Katsuki were the only couple the class you both stayed out of the game. Were you going to now, though? What if you were petty enough to join the game to piss of Katsuki, take it as a revenge.

Who are you kidding, you are, so fuck it. You nodded- joining into the game.

The slim glass bottle of organic orange juice courtesy of Iida spun, some nice pairs.. not like anything was going to get heated, you guys were nearing the end of 1st year anyway, who was brave enough to do that anyway..?

It pissed you off when Katsuki held the bottle, moving to the middle and spinning it.. he decided to join in if you joined in, his face stoic. Eijiro creeped a smile, like he knew something was up as he looked at you.. while the bottle spun it was slowly stopping.. passing you then-

It clinked.

Kyouka had used her earphone jacks to ““descreetly”” push the bottle towards you

“ Oi- the hell are you- “

“ Guys what are you- “

Before you and Katsuki could react, Eijiro pulled him and Ochako floated and pulled you towards the closet. You and him both equally tried to protest, but it was futile as mina helped Eijiro and Ochako push you and your boyfriend into the closet, and shutting the door. You stumbled into the shoe and coat pile, the dust luckily been cleaned out by the other people who had entered, Katsuki was shoved in forcefully as he shouted- stumbling on you. He quickly got back up to his feet, looking at you with a not so happy look.

“ Seven minutes! “, the familiar brunettes voice sounded, knocking at the door a few little ones. The distance chuckles of Mina and Eijoru faded..

The lights were a dim orange one, you found your way to lean on the side wall, letting out an exasperated sigh. Katsuki went opposite of you, keeping your distance.. his arms crossed then your arms did.. the silence was deafening.

You've only had 7 minutes with people who you didn't have interest that way in.. every time you were it was with a stranger who you weren't comfortable with or it was a friend who you just talked it out, so having it with someone you actually liked was a different turn. No, no way you two were going to do anything.. Katsuki isn't that type, and you just got into a fight.

“ ‘m sorry. “, Katsuki cut off with a small, miniscule sounding voice.

“ What? “, you asked, maybe a part of you heard it.. maybe you didn't.

“ I said I'm sorry. “, Katsuki repeated in a grunt, he clicked his tongue. “ I'm sorry for being a dick, you know I'm not good with this stuff. “, his arms unfolded to lead itself to his hips. The space wasn't exactly good for it, so he put only one on it while the other rested in his pocket.

You weren't expecting the spiky blonde to apologize, he does apologize just.. never for something like this. Katsuki's been working on himself, for you, but it was reasonable why you'd say the things you said.. if you meant it or not, you were still hurt.

“ You're sorry? “, you repeated, eyes trailing Katsuki's figure. The lights flickered a little, your hand leading to your face. You sat down quietly on a bunch of boxes by the side, they must be full of shoes.

“ Yeah. “, Katsuki confirmed, leaning back more on the wall

“ yeah, you aren't good.. at that. . . Kind of stuff “, you reiterated. Being with Katsuki meant you knew a lot of what he is as a person, he's emotionally constipated and isn't into that stuff.

“ It's foreign to me, ok? If I'm being honest, I'm.. just- it's hard for me, dumbass. “, his eyes lingered on the floor, as if you'd see those beautiful crimson eyes of his under this darkness anyway. You shifted uncomfortably, hands running down to move to your lap.

“ I know, you say it like, a lot. “, squeezing your bottom clothes for that statement, you wanted more from him that just.. “ Kats, I won't hate you for it “, you continued.

Katsuki huffed, it was a pleasant conversation, he seemed a little satisfied to hear that

“ What do you want then? “, his shoulders stopped tensing up.

“ I don't know what I want. “, you said, the lights flickered again. The silence was evident, even the lightest push of your feet could be heard, the lightest shuffle that came from Katsuki's shirt can be heard as clear.. the only thing really filling in the silence was the light bulb sounding staticy, but somehow under the presence of eachother it wasn't uncomfortable.

“ I know that I want you though. “, you broke the silence. Katsuki tensed back up, his head looking at you and he clicked his tongue again..

“ Fine, I'll be more honest “, you heard clearly, his voice was gruff and embarrassed. His hands dug themselves into his pockets.

“ I didn't say that- “, your mouth opened and spoke, there's a lot of things you craved from him.. but you were alright with-

“ that's what you said when you shouted at me. “, he cut you off. “ I'll hold you better, I'll show you that I care and- just, whatever you need, k? “, his voice was shy, a little embarrassed.

You appreciated the way he was wording it, it didn't sound half assed. One of the few reasons you loved him so much is that he was true to himself.

“ I'm sorry for yelling at you, I was just making my feelings clear “, you said, finally moving in to get a consolidation hug, you needed it.

His breath hitched when you reached into him, but he melted and hugged you back, his hands grasping your back, taking in your scent. He let off a small nod, you wouldn't see it but you knew that's how he accepted apologies.

“ I love you. “, you quietly muttered, the room sounded with a shuffle from katsuki, getting a little taken aback, it wasn't like you don't say I love you.. its just he wasn't still used to it.

“ Anddd, 7 minutes! “, the door opened with a swing, knocking your shoulder (or Katsukis because you were in a hug) a bit.., the outside was wide and bright, the others cornered the room. Denki had opened the door, timer on his phone in hand, Eijiro looked happy, putting a thumbs up for his friend, Mina was grasping her hands and finally being happy you both didn't have a bad aura on you..

Katsuki was about to pull away when you pulled him back in, shutting the door with a loud slam. This was your moment now, not just seven minutes in heaven.

“ …god, I love you too. “, he uttered, ending your little turmoil.

[gatheredfates]

How To Win Friends and Influence People: Dawntrail Edition ☀️

I swear the title is a joke.

Listen, we all know I'm one to furiously and viscously encourage people to venture outside their box and meet people, and today is no different! With the launch of Dawntrail, we're likely to see a lot of cool new people in the community, so these are a couple of affirmations I employ to myself when reaching out. Feel free to use them to your benefit!

That little voice telling you the person will think you're annoying is probably a liar. In all the time I have reached out to people in this community, I have never once heard a complaint about being annoying, overbearing or too much. As long as you're not inappropriate, respect boundaries and go in with pure intentions, it is likely to be reciprocated.

If people don't want to interact with you, that is their loss. Rejection sucks, but you cannot let the fear of it rule your intentions. Don't hyper-fixate on the loss; simply block (if needed) and move on. Not only will you foster healthy relationships with people who reciprocate your efforts, you will avoid drama by respecting and enacting your own boundaries. Trust me when I say this will improve your whole experience.

You don't need to message people right away! Start by leaving nice tags on their gposes, writing, etc.; make conversation and comment on their posts. Work up to a message first if you're shy.

I don't know what kind of comment to leave, you say? Easy! Find one thing about what they've done that you like. For example, I'm often like 'wow the x colouring in this is amazing! i love how it makes the character pop'! It shows engagement with their work beyond the superficial. Trust me, when i get these kinds of tags, it makes my day.

Remember you get out of a community what you put into it. If you have a cool idea for a space/event/roleplay concept, promote it! If you think your character's story would bolster another persons', offer to write with them! Reach out to other places with similar or adjacent concepts and see if you can work together. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, so they say.

If it's within your blog's scope, reblogging other people's outreach posts/commissions/gposes/etc is a great way to engage with the community in a low-stakes way. If you need to make a sideblog for promotional stuff, do it! I prefer tags, personally, but you do you. The more approachable you look, the more people are going to contact you first.

Befriend people because you earnestly want to get to know them. "Popularity" is a farce. There are amazingly talented people who have a small group of friends because they're shy.

Eat food, drink water and take your medication before you do any of the aforementioned. Actually, just cover all those basis before you do anything. If you start dooming and glooming your efforts, have a nap (trust me, it worked for me last night!).

A couple of things to keep in mind on the other side:

You are not obligated to reciprocate someone's efforts.

"No." Is a full sentence. It's always preferable to be kind, but know your worth.

If that shit don't stick, hit da bricks!! You can leave!!

Always try to assume the best intentions of people.

Tools of moderation are not drama-mongering or nasty; they simply tailor your experience to what you want to see/experience. You don't need to justify your reasonings, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone; block and move on!! You don't need to make a big deal about it.

If anyone has anything else they want to add, please do! But this how I operate and it's never done me a disservice. ✨

[exrellian]

Replaced MC AU

Authors Note: the amount of support I’m getting is insane and I am so thankful! I didn’t expect my first series to blow up like this! Comment if you would like to be added to the tag list (which is something I never expected to have) and of course, enjoy part four!!

TW: none really except MC and ??? Shit talking the brothers and royals

Part 1-Part 2-Part 3-Part 4(you are here)

Someone who feels the same way

??? POV

“Chef! There is someone sleeping in the alleyway next to the restaurant!” A demon said, “if you let homeless people just sleep outside people are going to stop eating here. This is a prestigious restaurant, not a homeless shelter.” The noble demon scoffed at the other

“I will go take care of it.” The chef sighed, grabbing his coat and umbrella from his office before exiting the restaurant and checking the alley beside it. Sure enough, there lays a boy, looking to be physically around the same age as the chef, and he looks like shit

“How long do you plan on sitting in the alley? Humans get sick easily.” The demon spoke, moving his umbrella to cover the soaked boy

“You gonna eat me?” the human asked, not even moving his head up to look at the demon

“Eat you? Ew.”

“Don’t mess with me, I know how demons are.” The chef shook his head, leaning against the wall across from MC

“If I was going to eat you I would have done so already. Aren’t you the precious little exchange student? Weird to see you without one of your guard dogs.” He scoffs as he mentions the seven lords

“Please don’t bring me back there. Who knows what they will do if they found out I was causing a noble demon trouble” MC sputtered, still not making eye contact with the mystery demon

“Ew.”

“Ew?”

“Those lords are as incompetent as the young prince who rules them.” The demon replied with a roll of his eyes “I’m Lawrence by the way. Why don’t you come into the restaurant and get cleaned up, the back room should have some spare clothes since yours are… gross”

“Are you sure your boss would be okay with that?”

“My boss? No, he won’t mind” Lawrence tosses his jacket at MC, still covering both of them with the umbrella

“If you’re sheltering me with an umbrella why do I need a jacket?”

“Put the hood up, hide your face and, since I wear this jacket often it should mask your scent as a human. A lot of noble demons are dining here, if you don’t want the lords knowing you’re here you best hide.” Lawrence explains, helping MC up off the ground

“Why are you helping me? You could have killed me at least five different times now”

“Because you looked pathetic. And I can’t have homeless people outside the restaurant, it will make it look… poor”

Small time skip

MCs POV, first person

I finished getting changed after successfully sneaking in… but now what? Sure I’m all cleaned up but was it all just to go out onto the streets again? Sure I could go to Purgatory Hall but who knows if they have been manipulated by Amelia too. I need to get a job and find a place to stay, even if I just hotel jump until the end of my time here…

“The uniform looks good on you.” A voice spoke from the door behind me “ready to get working?”

“What? Your… offering me a job here? But how will I go unnoticed!? And I’m a human, so won’t the demons be inclined to avoid this place with me working here!?” I ask, shocked at the sudden declaration that he was giving me a job

“An illusion spell, I put it in the uniform before you get changed. To me and any other demon you look and smell like a demon. No one will recognize you like this.” Lawrence explained, it’s as if he was prepared for this

“Oh… well I guess that makes sense, but why offer me a job? This just doesn’t seem right, you are a demon correct? Why help a useless human this much?” I asked, not fully trusting in this random demons intentions

“You ask so many questions, it’s annoying. I just felt like it, that’s all. This is my restaurant so I can give anyone I please a job.”

“Your restaurant!? You own this place!? The lords came to eat here many times, saying this was the fanciest restaurant in the Devildom!”

“If I could ban them from coming here I would. I had to work overtime any night you all came. That gluttony demon is a real problem for any restaurant he comes to. And don’t get me started on that prideful fuck, he can rot for all I care, he had the gall to tell me I was being too conservative with the serving sizes, at my own damn restaurant” Lawrence rants on and on, it was almost comforting to find someone who hates them as much as I do now “the only tolerable one is the young lords butler, at least he seems to have a shred of respect, unlike the other eight. Not even the prince can respect other people enough to not shout everything he says like he is the most important being in the three worlds”

“You seem to really hate them, don’t you?” I chuckle a bit at his tangent, not expecting someone who looks and acts like he does to go on such a heated rant

“Hate is such a… gentle word. I loathe them, they think they are the best demons ever because one of them was born into power and the other seven used to be angels. Well that doesn’t mean shit in the long run, and they will learn that sooner or later when their little exchange program backfires and the Celestial Realm fucks over both the Devildom and the human realm by extension. If there is one thing I loathe more than the nobles here in the Devildom, it’s the celestial realm” he sighs “we have gotten off topic, do you want the job or not? I live in a two bedroom apartment above the restaurant that you may stay in until you have made enough money to get your own place out until the exchange year comes to an end. Truthfully it would be foolish of you to refuse” he was right, it would be incredibly stupid to turn down this offer.

Tag list; @t-misaki @melpomenelurks @gallantys @skei2p @terodactu @atomsminecraft @cutest-tenshi

[blitzwhore]

I just saw Blitzø get called Stolas stockholm victim I can't with this fandom anymore😭

😂 As outrageously incorrect and stupid as that take is, I'm going to go on a tangent here. I hope you don't mind.

I think every fandom has annoying people with awfully terrible takes in it. People with zero media literacy. People who hatewatch. People who think they're entitled to the exact show they would've wanted, which has nothing to do with the actual, existing show.

This is especially true for queer media, and especially true for queer cartoons. (Hi, yes. I was active in the Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Voltron, and She-Ra fandoms when those shows were airing, respectively. I've seen some stuff). Some people just can't handle queer cartoons, period. If the queer characters/ships are soft and wholesome, they're infantilising and boring, and if they're complex and nuanced and actually have conflict, they're abusive and problematic. You'll hear the same recycled arguments over and over again. Like, the shit some people are saying about Blitz and Stolas after The Full Moon? Is literally almost word-for-word what they said about Catra and Adora post-season 3 of She-Ra (and even at the end of the show).

Here's the thing, though! Those people and their bad takes are not what I want to think about what I think about a fandom. Those aren't the people I want to call the fans. They don't deserve that title. Not when so many other people are out there dedicating their time to making gifs and art and meta posts, and writing fic, and commenting/reblogging to show support, and sliding into people's DMs to scream and squee together about a thing they love.

At the end of the day, "fandom" is just a lot of people each doing their own thing. Which people you engage with and allow to stay within your line of sight will determine your fandom experience. Fandom can be a huge, convoluted, online space full of people who are constantly arguing with one another and whose takes make you unfathomably angry... Or it can be you and your 5 friends and mutuals who scream gleefully at one another in 2-note posts. You can't control what others post online, but you can control your engagement with it.

How? Well, here's what I personally do to avoid getting upset by people's stupid opinions online:

Filter 'critical' and 'anti' tags (eg. #anti stolitz #anti vivziepop #Helluva Boss critical #HB critical #vivziepop critical). Many people actually do tag their critical posts because they know it's the respectful thing to do!

If I come across a post that has one or more of those tags, obviously, I don't click through to see it under any circumstances.

If I stumble across a stranger's untagged post with hate/criticism that upsets me: I stop reading and BLOCK. Immediately. I don't look back. I don't finish reading. I don't engage. I just block block block. I <3 the block button, seriously.

If I feel my mind reeling from a bad take I just came across: I take a step back, close my phone, breathe, remember life is beautiful sometimes. Go back and watch an episode I really like. Clean my living space a little. Vent about it to a friend (but only if I really need to, because if not, I'd rather not dwell on it).

If I'm starting to feel the need to reply to someone's bad take (directly or via my own post), I instead make the decision to channel that energy into making fandom posts out of love. (I don't do this just with fandom. If I see something transphobic online, I usually react by reblogging a bunch of trans art or trans positivity posts on my main, for example). I like to think of it as putting some positivity out into the world to compensate for the negativity I just saw. So, for example, if I see someone shitting on my blorbo, I may make a silly post just saying how much I love blorbo. Or I'll make (or draft) a post about how interesting I find some of blorbo's actions. Or reblog another person's positive/interesting post about blorbo.

And finally, I stay the hell away from Twitter. Or at least, if I go on Twitter, I try my best to avoid any tweet that has text in it instead of just art. Even the people who have good opinions spend too much time arguing with the people who have bad opinions on there. I don't want to see people's bad takes! No, not even while reading founded and perfectly articulated criticism of those bad takes! So I just limit my time on Twitter. And again, if someone is putting bad takes on my TL (even if it is to counter them), I unfollow and block as needed.

All this to say, yes, it really fucking sucks to read the opinions of people who don't understand and who hate the characters and ships and worlds you love. Gosh it's the worst. But you can curate your fandom experience. You can focus on the things you can control. You have the power to decide if your fandom experience is draining or fun!

And because I don't know how to finish this, here, have a Stolitz kiss to heal you:

We will keep winning and there's nothing the haters can do about it. 😌

[theoppositequeens]

look around, look inside

Fandom: The Empyrean (Fourth Wing) Rating: T Tags & warnings: Underage sex, Asexuality, Aegosexual Bodhi Durran

Read on Ao3 here.

So here is the emotional glass bauble I wrote at 2 am tonight. Please treat it with care? <3 And if it hits close to home for someone else, feel free to come talk to me!

Thank you, @shipmistress9 for betaing this🖤🤍💜 And @ellebellewritesfic my darling, for unwavering support!

Written for Bodhi Week 2025 by @empyreanevents Day 1: Right Hand. Title from Dye the Water Green - Bibio.

look around, look inside

Sometimes Bodhi wonders if there's something wrong with him.

It's been like that since he was a teenager. All around him, his friends were talking about first kisses and crushes, and those he could get behind, but then it started being about sex. And he started pretending – at first not even consciously, because yeah, the idea of sex was nice. He used to daydream and think about it and it definitely got him going. Bodhi listened in awe to Garrick and Xaden when they let him sit in on their discussions about conquests, and in theory it was hot and interesting, but he started feeling squeamish when they teased him about who he'd try it out with.

His cousin and his cousin's best friend usually let him off the hook, not pressing when he started blushing and avoiding the question. His friends were more forthright, and Bodhi definitely answered things like which girl in class is the prettiest? or which girl has the nicest legs? But it was the whole if you had to choose who you'd want to give you a blowjob, who would it be? and all the other similar questions. He never understood the concept of wanting that. Their group of friends used to watch the infantry that were garrisoned at Aretia to keep the peace, and scan over the cadets, pointing them out. Bodhi usually just defaulted to saying he'd prefer his current crush, or then he picked the objectively most attractive person.

Bodhi understands beauty.

He finds people beautiful and can appreciate their looks, but he's never looked at someone and gotten turned on. He's never looked at someone and thought: yeah, I want to fuck that person.

It's not like he didn't kiss girls when he was younger – and a few boys, just to be sure – but nothing ever made him want to do more. It was just something one did, and the kissing is nice, he enjoys that – to a point.

Sometimes he wonders if he liked the idea that they liked him. If maybe the mental representation of their desire was what turned him on. If being wanted was the motivation behind even trying, or if it was peer pressure.

It confuses the shit out of him, because it's not like he doesn't get aroused.

That part of him works just fine, thank you very much, and he can get off by himself: fast or slow or edging himself until he blanks out from how good the orgasm is.

The idea of sex is hot. The dirty Tyrrish sonnets he snuck into his own room from the library to read in his teens were damn enjoyable. And if there were some suspicious stains on them when he returned them, no one will ever know who it was.

For a while, after the apostasy, Bodhi just thought maybe the trauma had killed his libido. Even if he woke hard sometimes in the mornings, he felt no need to sate that urge with another person, and he chalked it up to grief.

Then he tried having sex, and it didn't go too well.

Mostly, it was pressure. The place he was fostered in had a lot of young maids and a lot of young working-class boys and Bodhi was – reluctantly – educated alongside them. He was already different enough, and since everyone was fooling around, he would have stuck out even more if he didn't.

Turns out after some trial and error, that he is capable. It's just that it's not sexy or arousing when it's his own body doing things, his own self doing things. If he sort of goes into his own head, distances himself until he's almost thinking in third person, almost seeing it happen to his own body like a spectator, then it's enjoyable enough. If he imagines while the things are happening to him, that they're happening to someone else – a fictional character, a faceless representation, a person he's admired from afar – that works too.

The worst thing is: he still has crushes. He's fucking capable of love, just not being sexually attracted to the person, and it kills him. He wants the companionship, the kisses, the intimacy of knowing someone so well, the shared life and the cuddles and to be loved in return.

But they expect sex. And he can give it to them, but it's a chore. It requires going away in his own head, and he feels like he's constantly betraying his partner by not being mentally present, by faking the enthusiasm. It's not like he doesn't aesthetically appreciate their bodies, because he does. He admires them, thinks them lovely and beautiful and knows they're objectively attractive.

He's jarred out of his mind too often during sex, and that's what's exhausting. The need to constantly reweave his fantasy as it's interrupted by real life. In his head, there's no awkward moments or limbs in the wrong place or sounds that trigger his gag reflex or breathing that goes into his ear. No comments that he has to actually respond to, no partner whose comfort he has to see to.

It's easier when he's on the receiving end, so Bodhi goes for men. Easier to be more passive, be the one that gets fucked – and the physical sensations work just as well, because most of the work on getting off happens within his head. A hand on his cock, steady thrusts, kisses down his stomach: it only feels nice if he imagines it's not happening to him.

Reality isn't attractive, but he can get off on it, if he does his best. After, he dislikes the sensations in his own body. Dislikes the cleanup and the realism and the wetness and stickiness. Feels like a fraud, cuddling up to a partner and responding yeah, for me too to breathless whispers about how good it was.

It feels like a fucking transaction to buy their love with his discomfort.

And it's a lie.

Because he never tells. There's clearly something wrong with him, something that doesn't function as it should. And putting himself on the line like that... Well, no one pre-Basgiath is that loyal to a marked one. Bodhi is afraid that if his – generally short-lived – relationships end, they'll spread the news. So he swallows all the discomfort, all the worry. He makes himself a sexual creature with determination and anxiety and tears and avoidance and hard work.

People make sex and attraction look so easy.

It runs rampant through Basgiath, once he gets there, and Bodhi watches Garrick fuck his way through half the population, Imogen eye the men with interest, Xaden choose his hookups carefully when they're not caused by dragon lust.

He's thankful Cuir isn't bonded, because he's not sure how he would react to being attracted to people he sees in front of him. He's scared it would be a completely new feeling, something he's never felt in his life. It would confirm that all this time he's just been playing pretend, trying to force himself to think that he is attracted physically to people. Cuir soothes him, tells him that among dragonkind it is not abnormal to not want a mate.

But Bodhi wants a mate. He just doesn't want to mate. Cuir doesn't get the distinction.

No one notices, here, that he doesn't do hookups. They all assume he's just discreet. Garrick ribs him for being secretive and Bodhi lies his ass off then, leads him intentionally into certain assumptions while the others chuckle. Xaden sometimes throws him searching glances that make Bodhi think he knows. Or at least suspects. His cousin has always known when Bodhi is lying.

But Xaden never says anything. He only shifts closer in the crowded, small room, presses his shoulder into Bodhi's – a solid, comforting touch that Xaden will never know how much Bodhi appreciates.

Bodhi watches Xaden fall for Violet. He watches Garrick and Imogen dance around their feelings.

He feels incredibly jealous, but he doesn't dare try. Finding someone who could want him, without sex, seems like too much to ask. And Bodhi is firm on the line now. He won't compromise anymore. He won't force himself into something he dislikes so intensely.

And besides, does he really need love?

He has the platonic love of his friends, his found family. He lives somewhat well enough on their touches and hugs and comfort. He's not touch-starved or lacking for people to share his troubles with.

He has his own right hand for sexual pleasure, and his own mind to feed the fantasies he comes up with.

Is it greedy of him to want more?