#do i mean people caving their heads in for fun and profit or do i mean the systematic slaughter of a group of people

[muchmossymess]

Love using "canon typical violence" when writing for fmab

Like do I mean comically throwing wrenches at people's heads? Or do I mean horrifically and permanently disfiguring children.

[motheatenscarf]

Still playing FF14, still having a lot of fun with the gameplay and the story is finally starting to pick up a little, by which I mean more plot things seem to be happening with frequency, not the quality has improved.

It is at least making me start to FEEL something, because I am filled with a burning hatred for this place.

I started in Ul'dah, and there's an early dungeon where the plot is, "Oh yeah, our ancestors enslaved these giants and then didn't want to deal with their slave uprising, so they buried them in a cave-in. We're digging up a new mine and we accidentally freed these giants, and now they want revenge, so go kill them so we can make a profit."

And there's no RPG dialogue input I can give in this game (there have been like 3 instances so far and the effect didn't matter, it doesn't count). I can't tell this guy to get fucked. Nobody even acknowledges that maybe enslaving giants was BAD, maybe.

Just no thoughts, head empty, here's something horrible, now go protect the status quo, adventurer!

And there have been plenty of other times before where the game was just like, "Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles!" about systemic changes your character can't DO anything about. But people at least ACKNOWLEDGED it was a BAD that the system was that broken.

I know I'm not expecting MUCH out of this game, but god, if your plot is gonna be "Evil forces are gathering, they want to blow up the moon (again)!", don't... fucking... insult me by trying to tell something with "nuance" or "realism" and utterly missing the mark.

There was a cutscene immediately after that dungeon about some lady who maybe stole some meat and her about to get apparently enslaved or beaten to death in the street over it.

Objectively a terrible thing about to happen to some hapless, starving, penniless woman! And rather than just, your character is a hero who looks out for the little guy, the game makes the BOLD choice to decide that THIS is where we're gonna give you expository dialogue on the Echo that lets you see into the past by showing you a cutscenhe of her paying for the meat so you can feel validated defending her.

And like... get fucked?

I don't care if she's innocent.

She's a starving refugee.

I hope she did steal it! I hope she kicked this merchant in the dick when she stole it! I hope she kicked him in the dick and then KILLED HIM, that is how on her side I am here.

And then they further insult my intelligence by giving expository dialogue on how people in this city see refugees as bad elements who bring criminal activity because they're desperate and they're ruining a nice city. And no one questions it, it really seems like that's the hill this writing wants to die on, and... like. No?

No.

Tear this city down brick by fucking brick, it's beyond saving, I am NOT going to fight to protect it when THIS is the status quo, we are looting the Sapphire Market and collecting HEADS

[jerzwriter]

After all the questions about Tobias and all he did to Casey, I went to read again your fic when she learns that he stole Stephanie and I could have swore she said she's done with him but no 😫😫 GIRL WHAT DO YOU MEAN, RUN!

Is there a reason why you write Casey being all "you hurt me but we might still have something going on, don't worry"? I know it was a long time ago

Hey There, Thanks for the ask Nonny.

The reasons are two-fold, and both speak to who Casey and Tobias are at that point in their lives: Tobias is still shady, and Casey is still green.

Believe it or not, shit like that happens… not in the same way that it did in OH (when is anything ever accurate there?), but trying to poach patients, funding, programs… sadly in the US healthcare is for profit, so shady shit occurs.

Casey’s ambivalence stems from being so new to the medical world. He is like “If it wasn’t Kenmore, it would have been someone else.” And she asks around and people tell her, “Yeah, these things happen.” She is feeling like, “Maybe I blew it because I didn’t play the game right.” (I can see June telling her just that.) Casey doesn’t like this at all,but she thinks maybe that’s just how the game is played.

The second piece if the puzzle is, even if that’s how it’s done, should he have done this to HER considering their relationship? My answer (and Casey’s) is, no. Absolutely not. At minimum, he should have said “Look, Kenmore is looking to throw its hat in the ring, and my job is to be involved in the process.” But he didn’t. He blindsided her and that is wrong, there’s no other way about it.

So why does she say “I need time.” Instead of “Fuck off”?

1) The above. She’s just wondering if she is being too sensitive, but the second point above leaves her cold.

2) She doesn’t want it to be true.

Now, hear me out on the second point. Tobias and Casey are soulmates, but I don’t think soulmates are what many others do. They’re not fairy-tale couples where everything is perfect and they live happily ever after. To me, they are people where there is an intrinsic connection… a meant to be element but there is more. I think soulmates are two people who hold a mirror up to each other and say I know who you are, and I know you can do better. They demand it. The relationship will not survive if it doesn’t occur. It isn’t “forcing” someone, or “making them change.” Not at all. It is finding the person that makes you strive to be the best person you can be. In time, they do this for each other.

They both felt the connection from the start, and it is intoxicating… you want more. So he is suddenly willing to turn his life philosophy on its ear for her, and she wants it so badly she isn’t listening to the voice in her head saying “just go.” Until… she sees the messages and assumes he has been seeing June while he was seeing her. He’s been banging June while trying to win her back. That’s not true, but she has seen the shady side of Carrick already and has no reason to believe him. That’s when she ends it. That’s when she says good bye.

Does she still think of him? Yes. Still wish it could be different? Yes. But she isn’t going back. In a moment of weakness she caves a little the night before the attack… and she is furious with herself. She is not going to bite…

Meanwhile Tobias is full of hope… he knew it! She sees who he is, she knows he’s a better man than this! He has a chance… then he doesn’t hear back.

Then… the attack and it all changes. I have always said, if not for the attack, they may not have happened, at least no time soon. But that event changed everything.

Thanks for the ask!! This was fun.

[anchanted-one]

Legend of Lightning Chapter 35: Unsafe

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43208574/chapters/110880382

Nar Shaddaa, An inn near the Promenade

Kira Carsen forgot to knock before entering her Master’s room. She cursed, but the other Jedi hadn’t been doing anything she needed to shy away from anyway.

He was speaking to Captain Stede and her crew via holo.

“Well, after what you did there’s no way I wouldn’t return the favor,” Vajra was saying amiably.

The First mate—Jerre, was it? —gave a gruff chuckle and answered. “Well, you’d ‘ave to possess a heart uh stone not to help free innocent people used as lab rats. Or, you’d have to be Risha. Oww,” he added half-heartedly as the shifty woman had smacked him on the back of the head.

“Do not judge me before walking a mile in my shoes,” she snarled.

“Cuz after that, ye’re safe,” Stede grinned. “Cuz you’re a mile away, and wearing her shoes.” Vajra, who clearly hadn’t heard that one before, burst out laughing as Risha rolled her eyes.

“You guys make it sound like I’m a cruel, heartless bitch,” Risha pouted. “It’s true that I often don’t act when there’s no profit in it, but that’s because ‘profit’ implies ‘business.’ Meaning, someone offers you terms, and you have the opportunity to try and weigh gains versus risks. You’ll find I never take up even good contracts if I don’t have time to think. In our line of work, sentiment and emotion get you killed.” She bit her lip.

“Sounds like you lost someone. Who was it?” Kira asked.

Risha’s answer was surprisingly reasonable, even though her expression grew sour as a Corellian lemon. “I might tell you, once I’ve gotten to know you. You’re clearly a sharp girl, so there’s a chance we could be friends.”

Kira gave a cheeky wink. “How about a date then? Just as soon as we’re done defusing Var Suthra’s bombs.”

“Pass.”

“She didn’t have to hurt me this bad,” Kira complained.

“I don’t plan dates months in the future, Jedi. We either have drinks today that ends with a night in bed, or nothing at all.”

“Healthy,” Kira nodded firmly. “I like it. Wish I’d known when you were right in front of me though.”

Risha rolled her eyes. “Well. You snooze, you lose, birdie.”

Vajra laughed. “Was the compensation suitable?”

“Twenty-five thousand credits, and a Jedi friend on speed dial? Perfectly suitable!” Juun said heartily. “Don’t forget, I’ve got dibs on taking you to your first real party once you turn adult!”

“So long as I can bring my friends with me.”

“Sweet! A bigger party! See you around, little Knight!”

The call ended, and Kira’s Master turned his attention to her. “What’s up?”

“I found it kinda fun to flirt right in front of my Master,” Kira noted. “Master Kiwiiks would have sent me to bed without supper. And given me scolding soup for breakfast.”

“And I just sat there cheering. I think I’m a bad Master. Perhaps the kind saint can mend my wicked ways?”

“Down, boy!” Kira smirked.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yes. I want my next lesson.”

“Really? Okay then, sing me a lullaby to show me how good your voice is—”

“Not a singing lesson, you dumbass! Err, I mean: dear, sweet Master. Lightsaber Forms!”

“Oh, right!” He flipped onto his feet. “T7?”

The droid, which had been at rest, woke up with a “Dwoooo?”

“Keep watch till I return, would you? My Padawan here needs to be taught a lesson.”

<Acknowledged!>

Waving her over, the younger Jedi ran for the window.

“Umm… I’m using the door, thank you. Don’t feel like falling seventeen floors.”

He had disappeared by then, but he obviously got the gist, since she got a call seconds later. “Consider this a warmup!” he said, the sound of wind sighing over his voice.

A grumbling Kira caved, following her Master’s exit so that she could freerun her way after him. “It’s good exercise,” she muttered to herself grudgingly. Her body was still rusty after all.

She had to make her own way to the warehouse, since she had no idea which way her Master had chosen. But perhaps that was a good point in favor of the lesson. It would teach her a way to get to out-of-reach objectives in the field. Given how busy it was, the people of Nar Shaddaa didn’t pay attention to the rooftops. There were many walkways and cranes this high up. Scaffolding. Droid-pilots that paid no mind if people leapt on and off their trawlers. The occasional startled sentient.

Kira took a few more leaps, before jumping for a window. Unfortunately, her fingers weren’t strong enough to hold on, so there was a moment of stark fear before a hand shot out of the window and grabbed her.

“Hello again, stranger,” her Master grinned.

Kira almost screamed. “How did you know—”

“I stayed close enough to keep an eye on you. What kind of Master would I be if I let you fall to your death?”

“But the window! How did you know?!”

“Oh, that? I saw the path you were taking. I had a feeling the window might prove a weak point. Work on your fingers, eh?”

“Um. Sure. Pull me up, maybe?”

He considered her before shaking his head. “I think you’ve got this.”

Kira was annoyed for a flash, but relented. While Vajra would always have her back on the field, that didn’t mean she should slack off. Her ultimate goal was to become strong enough to defend herself against the great Sith, after all.

Gritting her teeth, she tried again. With a mighty effort, she pulled herself onto the ledge, and from there, got inside the abandoned room beyond it.

“Calming breaths,” she told herself. As she meditated on her breathing to calm her nerves, her Master rubbed her hands for her. “Treating me like a queen, aren’t you?”

“How am I supposed to treat you?” he asked.

“Like a student? Give advice, or encouragement?”

“Oh.” He patted her head roughly. “Good girl!” he said in a deliberately unenthusiastic tone.

She snorted before laughing. “You’re a fucking riot, Boss!”

“Take your time. The warehouse is just across the street, so we can take the boring way from here. I think we’ve achieved sufficient warmup, no?”

Kira followed her Master down the stairs. They were clean, for Nar Shaddaa. No sticky, smelly stuff “Boss?”

“Yes, Minion?”

“You seem to have gotten close to Captain Stede’s crew.”

“They’re… friendly. Stede, especially. Besides, I saw them fighting the good fight on two separate occasions. They really stepped up, even when our Military didn’t.”

“I’m just saying. Remember that they’re smugglers. There’s always a chance they’ll try to get you to help them sneak some contraband past customs.”

“You got a point. But I thought you liked Risha?”

“What, the queen of all the conceiteds?” Kira pulled a face. “No, absolutely fucking not! I was just practicing. I plan on going hunting soon. This may be Smuggler’s Moon, but there’s a lot of decent people my age. I really want to get one good fuck in before my twentieth birthday. It’s been more than a year now.”

It was just a few days off now…

“Is there anything I can get you for your birthday?” the boss asked.

“I don’t need anything big. A tiny token of appreciation will do. Like what I gave you!”

“Right,” he nodded. “I understand. I still have no fucking idea what to get you. Would you like a puppy?”

While Kira wanted nothing more than to coo at a lil black floof all day long, she had to shake her head regretfully. “That falls under ‘attachment,’ Master. Bad for Jedi and saints.”

“Oh, right,” he frowned. “Oh, I know!”

“What?” Kira asked interestedly.

“I’ll make it a surprise—”

“Oh no you don’t! Spill it!”

“Just something I saw in a shop nearby. In addition, let’s see if we can’t finish up early over here, and get that vacation you were asking for!”

“I like that idea!” Kira rubbed her hands eagerly. “We can invite Jazz along, too!”

“Hopefully, Master Kiwiiks will make it in time too.”

“Yep! Even if the Council lets me switch Masters, I still love her to the two moons and back. I want her there with me when I cut that cake! But who else do we call… Ranna?”

“The Kalikori still won’t leave their region, let alone Tython.”

“Ah, right.”

“You want to call the ‘Party Crashers?’”

“I like them,” Kira admitted. “But not that much.” They stopped at the crossing, waiting for the change in traffic signals. Nar Shaddaa had quite a strange selection of speeders, or rather, strangely decorated speeders. They were all painted in neon colors, with holographic stickers slapped all over them. Some even gave off a lot of nontoxic smoke, more like a fashion statement than burning primitive fossil fuels.

This place was full of neon lights. It had never bothered her before, but Tython had undone her acclimatization.

“Do you get much sleep in this kind of place?” she asked her Master, who grunted.

“After what we’ve seen, I don’t know if I want to,” he sighed.

Kira shivered. “Shit. I’d managed to ignore that for nearly four hours today. I know what you’ll do with the project, but what will you do with the sub—the people?”

The boss took a long time to answer. “Rehabilitation.”

“And if that’s not an option?”

“It has to be,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t take the alternative.”

“Well, come on! I’m ready for my lesson!” He dithered nervously, obviously daunted by the mess of vehicles. Kira took his hand. “It’s okay, Boss. No sweat. See? Nothing to it.”

*

The Promenade, The Next Day

Vajra heard the music as the elevator door took its first crack open. Before he could do more than register the fact, the doors parted and allowed him an unobstructed view of the SIS Safehouse. That was indeed music being played on the base’s sound system, and some of the people were weakly dancing to it. Several serving droids went from group to group, offering food and beverages to the employees.

Several of the larger monitors were tuned into a live game of Huttball, which was what held most of the people’s attention. They all reacted enthusiastically to goals, tackles, passes, and pitfalls, each providing their own commentary.

“Did I miss something?” Kira wondered. “They seem so relaxed!”

“Ahhh, Jedi, come on in!” Chief Rieekan called, sounding like he’d had at least a few glasses of the harder drinks. “We’re celebrating your success in the Power Guard project! You really came through! Found a needle in a haystack in record time, then sent the Imp bastards packing! Amazing victory! Haven’t had an occasion to celebrate like this in years!”

“But we’re not done yet,” Vajra reminded him. “We still have Power Guards unaccounted for. Agent Galen is still missing too. And then there’s the matter of Lord Sadic.”

“Agent Galen is probably dead by now,” Rieekan said somberly. “It’s been a while since he’s gone missing, but we still haven’t seen any signs that the Imps got Intel out of him. As for Sadic and the missing Guards, he’s probably taken them back to his Master.”

“Don’t we have to confirm that first?” Kira questioned. “While those scenarios do seem quite likely, we can’t just assume that’s the case.”

“And we’re not,” Rieekan reassured her. “It’s been a rough few weeks, so my people need the morale boost. But I promise, we’ll get back to work by 16:00. In the meantime, have some food! We got takeout from a good Corellian restaurant nearby.”

With that, he turned and loped back to the party, immediately cheering at a good pass.

“For what it’s worth, I agree with you,” a Twi’lek sidled up to them. “Now’s not the time to get lax.”

“You’re… Agent Tander, right?” Vajra confirmed.

“That’s right. Listen, can you do me a favor? There’s stuff happening nearby. Unusual foot traffic into several nearby warehouses. More than the ordinary amount of comm static. Power fluctuations too.”

“You want me to check it out?”

“Please,” Tander nodded furiously. “Please! I’ll send you the locations of the warehouses. Call me directly if you need support. Or have anything to say whatsoever.”

*

“What’s the plan?” Kira asked, as she followed the Boss out onto the shop floor.

“We have to split up,” he replied. “I’ll check out the warehouses—if anyone wants to muster an assault force, that’s where they’d put them. You ask around the Promenade. See if it’s just the base that’s been getting the comm problems. Don’t ask around too long. Once you’re done, head over to the nearest comm tower. See if there’s anything wrong there. T7, look at the generators. See why there might be problems. If you find any hostile forces, call me in at once, do not engage. Both of you.”

“Got it.” <Affirmative!>

Kira decided to try the cantina before stopping random passers-by in the markets. She joined the queue of people waiting to get inside. There weren’t many yet, just seven. It was a good number, Kira thought. Perhaps she might get lucky and a few guards might discuss what she needed to know.

Or, she might see the disturbance for herself.

She paid close attention while attempting to appear the non-suspicious kind of impatient. She tapped her foot and craned her neck. She looked around and grumbled from time to time, trying to give the impression of a girl who wanted to grab a quick drink before her superior noticed she was missing.

The guards stirred eventually.

“Think the game’s still on?” the Nikto asked.

“I hope so,” replied the Houk. “Our shift ends soon. It’s always fun to watch those mooks fall into the stun traps!”

“Really? The shock cage traps?” the Nikto laughed. “Not interested in the brawls, the tackles, the biting, the hairpulling?”

“Yeah, those are fun too!” the Houk laughed. “But nothing beats the expression on a poor sod’s face when the shock cage goes off!!

Both men laughed. “Speaking of shocks, do you think there might be another—”

“I doubt it. Things feel stable now. Gave me a headache, though!” He suddenly bit his lip and looked around. “Careful what you say, you moron! Want to get us in trouble?”

“Right. Sorry.”

Kira turned that exchange over in her head. To her, that sounded like talk about the power fluctuations. But it had been rather vague! It could have been anything else, including a malfunction in the sound system. Or an influx of rowdy, would-be patrons who got turned away.

She flashed her ID, submitted to the security scan, then handed over her lightsaber to the guard. Most patrons simply checked in their weapons at this counter, but others, like Mandalorians, Sith, Jedi, Cartel bosses, refused to be parted with theirs. Some there were, who came with expensive weapons, and were wary of handing over their weapons to security. For such people, this cantina allowed them to keep them on their persons so long as they consented to a device which stopped them from being fired.

The man behind the counter slapped on this device, then pressed the button a few times to ensure that it was working. He then handed it back to her with a nod and a “Have a good day, Miss!”

Kira went inside and walked to the bar. The muscled barmaid turned to her with a bright smile after catering to a short Twi’lek with blue skin.

“What can I get you, hon?”

“I’ll have a pomace brandy and some nachos, please. And a salsa dip, if that’s not empty yet.”

“For you, anything!”

“Nice morning, isn’t it?” Kira asked as the cheerful woman worked. “The sort which makes you think nothing can go wrong?”

“I know what you mean,” she replied. “Sadly, that kind of thing’s rare here on Nar Shaddaa. Always some kind of trouble brewing. Nothing wrong today, thank the stars!”

“Cept for the crazy lights, eh, Marge?” someone behind her put in. “Rare for the Promenade to get hit with spotty power.”

Marge went stiff for a second, enough that some brandy spilled onto the counter. “It happens,” her cheer was sounding a bit forced. “Anything can cause that kind of problem. Routine maintenance, unexpected damages…”

“But some of the biggest deals on the planet are conducted here,” her coworker insisted. “Including the biggest Hutts. Wouldn’t they be unhappy with even the smallest distractions?”

She cleared her throat. “Yes. I suppose.” She shoved the drink at Kira. “Oh, your nachos.” She hurriedly scooped some into a small bowl for her, and put a small tub of salsa to go with it. That’ll be seven credits… thank you hon! Have a good day!”

As Kira walked away, she heard her whisper furiously “Haven’t you been here long enough to know that we pretend the signs aren’t happening when a customer’s around?”

Kira moved to one of the more distant tables, listening in on the conversations. She didn’t always hear anything of interest. A trio of young women were comparing notes on their hunt for employment.

“Ivorn accepted my application,” the raven-haired Zeltron said happily. “They’ve called me in for an interview.”

“They rejected me,” the dark human said. “But Ostek Solutions told me they’d be calling sometime today!”

“Ostek?” The lighter human asked. “I’ve never heard of them.”

“They’re a big cybernetics company…”

At a table several rows down were a pair of Republic soldiers, only identifiable by the badge she hadn’t seen until she was this close to them. They returned Kira’s friendly smile.

“Morning, Jedi! You look familiar…” said the male, a tall human with caramel hair.

“Hey there, Soldier. Not interrupting a date, am I?”

“We’ve probably been here too long anyway,” the woman was a Nautolan with blue skin.

“Wish we could be here longer. Today’s been a real mess!”

“Damn! I’m sorry to hear that,” Kira said sympathetically. “Not the ‘people are getting hurt’ kind of mess, I trust? Going by your tone!”

“Oh, we’d love that kind of mess!”

“We joined up to shoot and blow stuff up after all!”

“No, our problem is more on the level of electrical malfunctions. Our main server got fried from all the power surges!”

“We keep getting static on comms.”

Kira looked around covertly. “I’m actually in here for a favor to SIS right now,” she said softly. “There’s this agent who’s spooked by this. Worried that it means something is building up. Have you been on Nar Shaddaa long? Have you seen this happen before?”

Kira’s words had caused a change in the soldiers’ bearing, slight though it was.

“We weren’t worried, but I can see why it might be a red flag,” the woman replied.

“Yeah… on larger worlds, this kind of problem was sometimes seen when the Imps were masking a major raid. Can’t believe I didn’t think of it before.”

“We’ll head back to our unit,” the woman said. “The Ambassador might be in danger.”

“If the Imps do something in the Promenade—”

“Not openly, but there’s always that risk. Especially if they’ve found themselves a scapegoat.”

“Thanks for the info, guys. Hopefully it’s just an Astromech that had one too many memory wipes.”

The soldiers left at once, and Kira hurriedly finished off her meal before following suit. The man at the door removed the suppressor on her Lightsaber before bidding her a good day.

Kira thought she had what she needed. She made straight for the comm tower next. It was an effort to maintain a slow pace. Indecision plagued her. She wondered if it was a good idea to check the tower at all.

“I’ve scoured the second warehouse,” the boss whispered on his comm. “It’s empty. Moving on to the third."

“Master,” Kira whispered. “Something definitely feels wrong. The people at the cantina were on edge, and some soldiers I met agreed that it was fishy. Maybe I should just go back to the safehouse. If the enemy attacks, the Agents will all need someone to defend them.”

There was silence for a moment.

“Master?”

“It’s too dangerous. Don’t go in without me. I’ll meet you by the South Entrance. T7, do you have anything to repo—”

T7 interrupted suddenly, which almost made Kira drop her comm. “Trouble = located! Sabotage = confirmed! Bypasses found = 133! Low-yield detonite charges found = 26! Timer countdown: 58 seconds! Blackout = imminent!”

“Kira, please wait for me! Kira!”

“Tell you what, Boss. I’ll give you three minutes, then I go in.”

There was no response, only the sound of wind blowing.

*

Vajra arrived only a few seconds after Kira’s timer ran out. He’d pushed past his limits today, so he was breathing hard when he finally caught upto her.

“Master!” Kira whispered. “Did I make you run?”

“You almost made me scream,” he replied. “And not in the good way. You’ve gotten better, but I think you’re a week or two away from being able to handle a small army on your own.”

The words seemed to delight his redheaded friend. “Only that long?”

“What can I say? You’re a quick study. Honestly, it’s only your endurance that we need to work on for now. When you can stay in the zone for close to an hour—”

Kira didn’t have to ask why he had trailed off. They could see a small queue entering the shop. While it wasn’t out of the ordinary for armed guards to escort a legitimate buyer inside, they did not hesitate when the alarm bells rang in their heads.

But they were forced to obey the neutrality laws while out in the open, and therefore did not charge. It took a further forty agonizing seconds to close the gap. When they were close enough, Vajra killed the pair on guard with a stab through the chest. Their bodies stayed upright; Kira having Seized them through the Force.

“Master—”

“I noticed. We have no choice; we have to defend the agents, and these guys don’t stay down easy. Fast and hard!” Vajra’s voice sounded dead in his own ears, but he felt his old trepidation quivering at the back of his mind.

The second they entered the door, Kira Pulled in the frozen bodies so that they could be hidden from prying eyes, while Vajra continued on ahead to begin fighting the invaders, those poor, desperate people he had tried his best to protect.

The Power Guards. Ten of them, not counting the two Kira had stopped, had taken up position close to the elevator.

They had Imperial Commanders, of course, as they couldn’t themselves make decisions. This one, a ruddy female with a cruel sneer on her lips, screeched the command to attack in a voice like a vulture’s.

Vajra surged forth like a whip; vanishing from one spot, only to reappear in another, where his target felt his sting. The first six Guards tracked him fairly well, definitely better than unmodified soldiers could. Shots whipped through the air a heartbeat after he’d passed through. Indeed, to any outsider it might appear as though these Guards were a success, but to him they might as well have missed by a mile.

Indeed, Vajra knew that over they were no match for most higher-level Padawans, let alone full Knights.

The next four guards dropped their rifles and took out heavy viobroswords to take him on in melee combat. Vajra sidestepped their heavy blows, which sunk into the floor and pillars thanks to their awesome penetrating power.

Unfortunately for the cyborgs, this turned out to be their downfall. All four blades were momentarily stuck, leaving them momentarily exposed for the single strike which claimed their heads.

The formerly smug overseer started screaming wildly, but Vajra found no pity in his heart. He Pulled her with the Force, stabbing her through the chest.

The elevator beyond her was damaged, the doors torn out of their grooves.

Vajra leapt down the shaft, his landing and the sound it made both cushioned by the Force. He rushed out at once, and was not afforded the time to take stock of the situation; the SIS agents were being exterminated like rats.

Reigniting his Lightsaber, he first killed the overseer for this group—a light-skinned male—before going for the cyborgs, who were fanning out.

Four fell to his blade before anyone even realized what had happened, and another three before even their cybernetically enhanced reactions could keep up with. Of the seven remaining, two were definitely Mk-5s, given their obvious cyborg bodies. The other five were possibly Mk-3s or 4s.

Both 5s closed in for melee with massive vibroaxes while the others tried to surround them. They did not seem worried about friendly fire at all, opting to pepper everyone with a barrage. The 5s attacked in concert; one engaging face-to-face, the other flanking. Vajra’s blade blocked all three downward attacks while also reflecting the fire from the shooters back at them. Some of the blaster bolts bounced off an invisible wall around the 5s. He feinted a couple of hits at both of them, only to find that the Lightsaber blade bounced just like the bolts. He wondered if the shield was any stronger than one used by an elite trooper. He slipped out of the flanking 5’s attack vector when his instinct told him, and the axe crashed onto the ground and stuck there for a second. Momentarily clear of both 5s, there were a lot more shots that weren’t blocked before he needed to worry about them. His blade sang through the air, returning the bolts back where they came from.

The shooters took hits, but did not go down, their enhanced bodies better able to take such deadly blasts. He also noted that their wounds showed signs of healing already; the burns began to fade within seconds. Their regenerative factor was clearly working in high gear.

As Kira popped out of the shaft behind him, he called, “Stay back! I’ll handle these guys!”

He probed the 5s’ shields for weaknesses, hoping that they were upgraded versions of the personal shields that elite soldiers used. They were; it took three strikes to overload them, not counting the hits they took from their allies. But that didn’t mean they were vulnerable, at least not to blaster fire. The shots just bounced off their thick, armored shells.

But he did not think they’d last long against his Lightsaber, but he didn’t press his attack just yet; the agents were safe since he had the enemy’s attention after all.

No, he wanted to test these cyborgs, since there was a slight chance that the designs would get back to the Empire.

Which was why he drew out the fight, allowed them two hulking brutes the chance to push themselves to their limits.

The 5s were being hit by not only direct fire, but bolts reflected off his blade as well. The constant attacks were quite damaging to their armor, and pretty soon, chunks of metal were falling to the floor and leaving their weak inner parts exposed.

In addition, their speed was fueled by the many gears, pistons, and other moving parts in their cyborg frames. Powerful though they made them, such parts quickly built-up heat. Just as Vajra anticipated, the large Mk-5s began to overheat after just a few minutes of going toe-to-toe with him.

He decided not to risk a self-destruct. Going on the offensive, he sidestepped an attack before stabbing at a gap in her armor. His blade sank all the way into her heart, and he felt himself stumble for the fraction of a second, literally tripped by guilt.

He spun around and stabbed the second cyborg in the throat. Moments before his blow connected, he was shocked to see tears flowing in the otherwise emotionless face, a glimpse of sentience peeking through whatever programming that had been used to enslave them.

Anger and pain made him shudder and stop in his tracks for a moment, though he continued blocking all blaster bolts that came his way. Several of the shooters started going for their vibroswords while their comrades continued their relentless barrage.

He had slain the ones in the shop quickly in order to save the agents, but these, he tested. He swatted aside one strike after the next, barely needing to move. They responded alright to his feints at this speed, though they were slightly shaken by the strength in his blows. Only slightly.

Having tested their strength, Vajra decided to move on to reflexes and coordination. Abandoning his almost lazy defense, he began weaving in and out of their formation, pushing them into each other when someone charged too recklessly.

They crashed without uttering a sound, and rose again a few seconds later to resume their mindless attack.

Guns were starting to overheat now, and the remaining shooters noticed. They dropped their smoking weapons and also closed in. But now Vajra was certain he’d seen what he needed to.

Moving quickly, he began the grim task of slaying them; these poor, lost souls whom the overseer at the recruitment center had called ‘heroes.’

He gave them clean ends; his Lightsaber striking their hearts. Once they had fallen, he took a moment to gaze upon each of them. They became Power Guards to fight the Empire, or at least—as Jasme had put it—so that they could emerge from the shadow of their own weakness. Instead, they had become pawns in a game they should never have been forced to enter.

Their minds were gone; he was certain of that much. But he saw tears on several faces.

The sight conjured up a cold fist in his gut, which clenched and grabbed, twisting his inside into knots and making him dizzy.

“Master!”

“I’m alright, Kira. The Agents—”

“Those who aren’t already dead will probably live.” The voice had come from Agent Tander. “Two minutes. They tore through our fortified base in two minutes!”

“What the hell were these things?”

“I can’t tell you,” Vajra answered.

Tander’s eyes glowered. “Well, that’s just fine. Coz we’re not telling you anything either!”

“What?”

“Our people are dead! Dead! I kept telling Rieekan that we needed to leave, but we stayed here for YOU! And now look where that got us!”

“Shut your yap, Agent!” Kira barked. “I’m sorry for your loss, but your chief knew what was at stake! Why didn’t you? Did you think SIS stood for ‘Bake Sale Club’ or something? You’re doing dangerous but essential work here! And you think you had it hard? My Master here has been marked for death by DARTH FUCKING ANGRAL! He's been fighting for his life every ten steps!"

The Agent flinched.

“Kira,” Vajra said weakly, but she ignored him.

“You want to run away? Fine! Try finding a job in the SIS which is a hundred percent risk free! Up until this moment, you were part of an investigation into those things—” Kira pointed at the Power Guards. “At stopping more from ever being made, from another Sack of Coruscant. Or worse. But if you need to be forced to do the job you signed up for, maybe you shouldn’t be here at all. Go. Go! GOOOO!”

Tander bit his cheek, then headed for the elevator. “Yeah. If you need help, you can talk to Rieekan. He’s over there.” He pointed at a burned-out corpse close to the elevator.

“It’s been wrecked,” Vajra sighed. “You’ll have to wait till reinforcements arrive. Or use cables.” The Twi’lek snarled in fury, kicking the head of the Imperial overseer.

“Listen, Jedi… we don’t all feel the same way as him,” another agent said hesitantly. “You tried to keep us safe. You saved our lives. And like the Miss said, this is what we signed up for.”

Tander had whipped around. “No! I’m the ranking officer here now! I order you to remain silent, Agent Diaz!”

“Can’t hear you, Sir. Concussion.”

A Zabrak woman nodded. “Not the first time I’ve seen this happen. I hate it, but we need to act. The mourning can come later. And therapy. And a few stiff drinks.”

Several of the surviving techs began combing through the implants on the fallen Power Guards, the others joining in hesitantly.

Tander tried to intervene by grabbing one of the techs, but Vajra restrained him. “Words only. If you try to manhandle them, I will intervene.”

Tander gave him a sour look, then growled and sat on a seat closest to the elevator.

About half an hour later, help came. Several squads of Republic soldiers, led by a pair who greeted Kira like a friend.

“What are these things?” A soldier asked.

“Not a question I can answer,” Vajra shook his head. “Have you secured the building?”

“Yeah,” the soldier replied uneasily. “Hard to believe the Imps would attack a Republic building in broad daylight—right next to the kriffing Promenade! I hope they get kicked off world for this!”

“We can hope,” Vajra replied. “Unfortunately—”

“Right.”

“Get the bodies prepped for evac. Including the cyborgs. We can’t let the Hutts or Imps have them. Var Suthra will contact you about where they need to be taken.”

“Yes, Sir.” The man looked doubtful. Trust in Var Suthra had been shaken deeply. Perhaps rightfully so. Vajra clenched his teeth, thinking about the Power Guards’ cruel fates, fury burning in his chest.

It was nearly an hour after the soldiers had arrived, that the techs found a lead.

The first one to have spoken up earlier came up to him looking tired but satisfied. “We got lucky. These Mark Threes… they’re constantly tracking not just each other, but other higher models too. I think we found where the final bolt hole is.”

“Where is it?”

“At these coordinates.” He pressed a datapad into his hands. “Take these guys down, Sir. Kill the Imp at the other end.”

*

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina! ☕️

This is our final morning here. It’s been a super fun week having our daughter, son-in-law, and grandkids with us, but eventually you have to rejoin the routine. 🏖️

The New York Times

Donald J. Trump, twice impeached as president and now twice indicted since leaving the White House, surrendered to federal authorities in Miami on Tuesday and was arraigned on charges that he had put national security secrets at risk and obstructed investigators.

So it begins. Will this be the thing that takes TFG down? One can only hope the most corrupt President in the history of the United States is finally held to account.

I’m not holding my breath. I suspect he’ll get off with a slap on the wrist, run for President again, and if he wins go on his whirlwind tour of revenge and dismantling of our democracy. 😡

iamthatis • Reddit

Today’s a much sadder post than that initial one eight years ago. June 30th will be Apollo’s last day.

Wow. Reddit is really being a bunch of caca heads. I understand the need to charge for their API use, I really do. They’re not currently profitable and want to go public, which is really strange to wrap my brain around.

As for Apollo and all the other tools and clients written to make usage of the platform better, I’m sorry you’re getting a really bad deal and hope you land on your feet. ❤️

Platformer

Today, let’s talk about the Reddit protests that temporarily took down the site today — and how, after years of working successfully to devolve power to its user base, the company wound up regretting it.

I guess all the subreddit moderators making their subreddits private really hit the site hard at the same time. 🤣

The New Republic

Starbucks has banned Pride decorations in its stores halfway through Pride Month, the company’s workers union revealed Tuesday, in a stunning cave to far-right anti-LGBTQ fury.

Pathetic. Why are you caving to a small group of extremely vocal, hateful, people?

I don’t have anything additional to say on the matter. It’s just too pathetic. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Time

Now, the Australian government is trying to tackle the problem by placing a ban on swastikas and other Nazi symbols. “There is no place in Australia for symbols that glorify the horrors of the Holocaust,” Australian Attorney General Mark Dreyfus said on June 8.

Good for Australia. The United States could learn a thing or two from our Aussie friends. We should do the same here and while we’re at it ban the Confederate flag. They’re not symbols of hate and oppression and have no place in a civilized nation — not that we’re being too civilized these days. 🇺🇸

Mac Rumors

In macOS Sonoma, currently in beta, you can create individual web apps for any website that you frequent in Safari, and have them sit beside other apps in your Dock.

I’m fairly certain this is Safari playing catch-up to the likes of Chrome but it’s nice to see it happening.

Next thing you know Apple will be embracing React Native! 🤣

9to5Google

In an unexpected announcement today, Google Domains is “winding down following a transition period,” with Squaresquare taking over the business and assets.

This is kind of wild and seemingly out of the blue. Now the mass exodus begins. I’ve heard great things about Porkbun and Hover. I’m still using Namecheap.

Six Colors

One of the lessons to be taken from the Apple silicon era is that the chips are what they are. An M2 performs more or less the same whether it’s in a Mac mini or MacBook Air or iPad Pro. So when I say that Apple’s new 15-inch MacBook Air is more or less identical to the 13-inch M2 MacBook Air, I really mean it—at least in terms of how it works.

I’m still using my 2019 company issued x86 MacBook Pro with the janky keyboard. When I get back from this lovely vacation I’m finally going to setup my brand spanking new M2 MacBook Pro.

I’d imagine — given I haven’t use an Mx based Mac yet — the new MacBook Air would be an excellent computer for me. It has a better price point and would feel blazing fast compared to my 2019 model. What I’m saying is, it’s a great option for anyone. Especially if you’re after a lightweight computer. 🍎

Ars Technica

Body mass index has for decades been used as a shorthand for assessing body fat and weight-related health risks. But for about just as long, critics have noted the simple calculation is laden with problems; BMI doesn’t actually measure fat mass, account for its distribution, or how those differ by age, gender, ethnicity, race, and how those differences affect health risks.

Finally! I’ve shared my feelings on the BMI in the past, unfortunately I can’t find that blog post to link to here. It’s nice to see someone finally push back on it. 💪🏼

CNN

South Carolina resident Sophia Celentano commutes to her New Jersey summer internship by plane, weekly, revealing on her TikTok account that it’s actually cheaper than renting near her advertising gig’s New Jersey office.

If I wasn’t so frightened of heights and flying I could see the benefit of doing something like this. There was a point when I’d spend one week a month in Seattle and I always enjoyed that time. I’d get a direct flight on Alaska Air from Fresno to Seattle on Monday morning and return home Friday evening. It was always a long week but it was also rewarding to stay in close touch with my Visio friends.

Hi Bill! 👋🏼😃

[shirtlesssammy]

3x04: Sin City

Then:

Dean killed Azazel

Now:

A nun wanders an empty church, replacing hymnals. The priest finds her and offers to walk her to her car. They both find a parishioner in the balcony who gets their attention by announcing that “God’s not with us.” He then shoots himself in the head. Ooof. 

While Dean and Bobby work on the Colt, Sam informs them that he’s found sightings of demonic omens. Bobby stays behind to figure out how the Colt works while Dean and Sam take off for Ohio and the new case.

Interviewing the priest, the brothers learn that things changed in the town about two months prior --the same time they opened the devil’s gate. 

The brothers then head to their motel room, where Dean runs into an old hunter friend, Richie. They banter and then they all talk shop. Whatever’s happening, doesn’t make sense. (Sidenote: Dean’s pumped that the room has Magic Fingers. Yay, bby) Dean asks about anyone in town whose whole personality has changed. Richie answers, “There’s Trotter.” He’ll be at his bar in a couple hours. 

The town is anything but a boarded up factory town. It’s got coeds as far as the eye can see, and Dean’s ready to do some research. Trotter’s Bar is the epicenter of debauchery. They find the priest there. 

Sam wonders what the padre is doing there. He goes where the flock is. 

Dean then gets to flirt mildly with the bartender and fun fact: He likes Hurricanes. I feel like this is one part of Dean’s personality not explored in later seasons. Let the boy drink his fruity drinks, 202K! 

Before anyone can react, a man walks in and shoots another man dead. 

Dean tackles the assailant before he can off himself. Sam throws holy water on him, but he’s not possessed. The man admits that the victim slept with his wife. (Sam sees Dana Scully’s dad from across the bar. Man, things are REALLY WEIRD here.) (Natasha: Nooo he’s the general from Stargate!)

The cops later take the man away and tell Sam and Dean that the paper will be there shortly to take their pictures.

That’s the brothers’ cue to leave. Dean wonders where Richie is before they take off. 

Richie is with the bartender. She’s taken him to her parent’s country estate. It’s secluded and has toys. Just when things are getting interesting for poor Richie, the bartender reveals she’s really a demon, and she knows he’s a hunter. WHERPS. He tries attacking, but she snaps his neck in two seconds flat. Richie!

Later at the bar, Dean forgoes eating his burger to track down the missing Richie. Sam decides to follow Trotter. 

Bobby, meanwhile, is getting the Colt back into fighting shape. Ruby shows up and taunts him to test out the Colt. He does. The aim is true but the bullets aren’t right. She offers to help him with the gun. 

The brothers practice seriously dangerous cell phone usage (Seriously Sammy? You didn’t put it on silent? Seriously Dean? You’re driving while not hands free? UGH.) 

Dean’s back at the bar and a prostitute approaches him for a discounted good time. Dean doesn’t pay. (Or is that Sam? IDK, neither of them have to pay. Have you seen them!?) The bartender is back at work and saw the whole thing. It doesn’t deter her that Dean struck out with a prostitute and they head out for fun times elsewhere. 

Sam watches Dana Scully’s dad leave his office and heads in himself to investigate. Dana Scully’s Dad Trotter appears again and there’s a slight tussle before Sam realizes that he’s also not a demon. Sam awkwardly realizes his mistake and makes his exit. Sweet dumb boy. 

Dean, meanwhile, is heading down the same path as his dead buddy Richie. Dean’s no dummy though and sets up a devil’s trap. He pulls out his Latin book to exorcise her back to Hell. He doesn’t have it memorized yet and she starts up a demon wind machine. He loses the pages AND the basement door caves in. Worst Date Ever.

Later, Dean explores his new prison to the amusement of the demon trapped with him. She mocks him openly for not having an exorcism memorized. 

The demon taunts Dean expertly. Dean Bean’s offended at being labeled the dumb one and I am OFFENDED on his behalf! They wait to see whose rescue is going to arrive first - Dean’s or hers. 

Sam frets at the bar over his missing brother, and bribes the bartender for his whereabouts.

Meanwhile, Dean and the demon’s snarkfest marathon continues. She tells him that she didn’t even have to engage in mystical hijinks to send people in town into an evil tailspin. All she had to do was drop a few suggestions about the profit of vice to Trotter and humans took care of the rest. She describes humans as weak and corrupt. 

For Constantly Weak for Dean Winchester and SYMBOLISM Science:

Sam heads inside her (other) house and finds sulfur. The game is afoot!

Meanwhile, Dean and the demon enjoy a little philosophical exchange. “Do you believe in God, Dean?” she asks him while I chew my own arm off. She sets up the apocalyptic battle from the demon perspective. Humans have wrought carnage on their world, so it’s the demons’ turn to “do it right this time.” 

Sam’s back at the bar again, calling Bobby to report that he can’t find Dean. I guess the game is...not so afoot after all. The bartender offers him booze before downing a shot himself and, frustrated with the townsfolk, Sam zeroes in on the priest who’s still hanging out in the bar. 

Demon Casey tells Dean that she’s faithful to Lucifer, light-bringer and the one who will raise demons up. She’s a believer. Dean oh-so-casually asks what Hell is like and the BRAVADO masking the FEAR! Jensen Ackles, your face hurts me sometimes.

For HURTSSSSS MEEE Science:

She sees right through him. “It’s a pit of despair,” she tells him frankly. “Why do you think we want to come here?”

Sam, meanwhile, is involved in a terribly awkward discussion with the priest at the bar. He’s worried about his brother and thinks he might be…..in trouble. The priest offers to bring Sam to Casey. His eyes turn black as he turns away from Sam. 

The demon and Dean have settled into a friendly heart to heart at this point. She tells him that she actually likes him and thinks he did something good when he sold his soul to save Sam. 

Dean tries to laugh off her real talk. He thinks it’s freeing to be damned - he can live his life any way he wants now. He’s totally not scared at all. Not at all!!!

The demon riding the priest interrogates Sam, asking him about his aspirations for the future. Yeah! Why aren’t ya in college, Sam!

Dean and Demon Casey continue to bond, and the scene takes the tone of a couple kids just chilling in the basement talking about life. Which is...actually sort of accurate. 

Casey tells Dean that Yellow Eyes, a.k.a. Azazel, had a plan to bring the minions of Hell to Earth, but Dean killing him put a significant wrench in those plans. She tells him that Sam was supposed to lead the demon army. Uh. Wherps. Instead of Sam, there’s a power vacuum in Hell. Demons everywhere are fighting for the crown. “For the record,” she tells him, “I was ready to follow Sam.” And damn, if I don’t get the feeling that Dean likes her a little better because of that. 

Sam and his demon priest arrive. Dean issues a warning to Sam, but Sammy doesn’t have to worry because Bobby shows up with the Colt! Bobby hands off the gun to Sam, Ruby smirking in the background. The priest breaks into the basement and smashes through the devil’s trap holding Demon Casey in. They kiss while Dean looks on in surprise.

Surprise, Dean! They’ve been lovers for centuries! Casey begs the demon priest for Dean’s life and it gives just enough delay for Sam to shoot the priest with the Colt. The priest flashes out. Dean tries to stop Sam from killing Demon Casey but Sam shoots. She flashes out as well. Remember, kids, there’s no room for love on Supernatural unless it’s DOOMED LOVE. 

The next morning, Dean tries to figure out what they actually won from this hunt. There are two demons dead and one alive - and very bad - human. “Maybe these people wanna destroy themselves. Maybe it is a losing battle,” Dean opines to Bobby. He notes that Sam’s dispatch of both demons was “cold” and brings up Azazel’s words to him: When Sam came back, he might have come back different. They both agree (halfheartedly) that Sam is doing FINE and is definitely not at all concerning.

Sam and Ruby meet up in a hotel room. Sam’s suffering regrets and calls Ruby a “cold bitch.” She takes issue with this assessment, particularly since she’s saved his life a few times. I mean, knowing about Ruby aside, I fully agree here. Fun fact! The word “bitch” was used four times in this episode! Ruby continues to dangle the hope that she might be able to help save Dean from his deal. Sam levels the Colt at her.

Sam threatens to kill her, but it’s just empty words. Ruby warns him that the fight ahead won’t be easy, but she’ll be there by his side. A little “fallen angel” on his shoulder. (Shakes my head at this goddamn show.)

Where Everybody Knows Your Quotes:

Toys trump oils

A demon with a heart. Wow

You don't get it. All you got to do is nudge humans in the right direction

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[croc-odette]

i love ds9 and here are some episode premises that i wish had happened

DND EPISODE: already talked about this but a dungeons and dragons holosuite episode. jake is the overly prepared DM obviously, nog, ziyal, and alexander are players. nog’s player is clearly his idea of sisko, a lawful good paladin; ziyal plays as a cardassian rogue (played by dukat, but clearly based in personality on kira); alexander plays a mage who is kind-of worf kind-of jadzia and keeps switching between them through the game). there’s an NPC version that’s clearly also based on sisko at one point, but from jake’s point of view knowing him as his dad to compare how differently jake and nog, a cadet, see him.

as the game progresses, it becomes clear that the Big Bad is based on a combo of dukat/winn (corrupt government/religious figure). ziyal struggles with the classic DND question of ‘just because i would do this, does that mean my character would?’ except she’s realizing that her dad wouldn’t do any of the selfless things she wants her character to do. alexander keeps trying to solve shit through weird cantrips or puzzle solving instead of fighting and jake is like ‘it’s not deep it’s just a cave bat please roll initiative’. bashir and garak show up as like, the old couple from the princess bride and everyone has to be like ‘jake they’re not dating in real life this rpf shit is kind of inappropriate’ and he’s like ‘wait what? i thought they were dating’. miles is an NPC and dies. nog thinks jake’s-sisko-npc is too silly and disrespectful and jake is like ‘he’s MY dad’ and they have to take a break to argue about it and jake is like ‘your dad is cool too’. nog’s character changes to lawful good paladin rom. actually this whole game is ‘arguing about dads’ time now that i think about it, which jake is not really equipped to jump in on since he has a normal cool dad who he basically just thinks is embarrassing because he’s the ~messiah~ or some goofy bullshit. ends with them calling it a day after the final boss battle and then jake and nog privately talking about whether or not they can trust ziyal if she has to choose between ds9 and dukat, which was an ulterior motive of the game. ziyal is clearly clearly rattled by what the game made her realize and goes to see kira, who she doesn’t tell about the game but who still gives her a hug, and ziyal realizes that kira’s her hero (and like, her mom). alexander tells worf and dax about the game and dax thinks it sounds fun as hell and asks alexander if they can come next time, and worf is like ‘....... only if i can be a blood mage’. nog and jake go home and tell their dads they love them. 

shit i blacked out

PRANK WAR EPISODE: escalating series of pranks starting with jadzia putting hair dye in bashir’s shampoo and ending with the space station accidentally going into a meltdown self destruct scenario. garak is torn between helping jadzia and quark, who are clearly the better pranksters, or helping julian and odo, who suck at pranks but are his lunch friends. everyone has to tell garak that he’s way too intense about ‘pranks’ which are actually just really dangerous booby traps he puts in people’s quarters. sisko ends the episode by grounding everyone; no holosuites for a month!! yes even dax

GREAT RACE EPISODE: there’s some kind of macguffin resource on a planet (a klingon escape pod with a survivor with crucial intelligence information?), but they can’t teleport directly to it. a vorta and jem h’dar team and a ds9 team beam down on opposite sides of its location and are both racing to get there first, having to macgyver together vehicles and tools on the way. lots of excellent outdoor on-location settings and comparison of the jem h’dar/vorta dynamic and the ds9 federation dynamic. ends with the jem h’dar almost winning but turning on the vorta at the last few yards, and sisko’s team beams out as the jem h’dar chant victory. no i refuse to think this is same plot as ‘the ship’ or whatever

KASIDY EPISODE: set earlier in kasidy/sisko’s relationship, kasidy agrees to go with jadzia as a third-party observer to negotiations with a nearby bajoran colony over a trade agreement with the federation. jadzia and kasidy bond over gossiping about sisko on the way, but once they get there kasidy disagrees with the starfleet’s contract during negotiations which causes tensions, and recommends that the bajorans reject it. she and jadzia get into an argument about starfleet and its ideals, and why kasidy chose to be an independent captain rather than a starfleet captain, and how that doesn’t make her lesser than starfleet captains. jadzia realizes that kasidy is right and petitions superiors for a new contract, which kasidy approves of. they go home tenser then when they left, but when sisko asks jadzia what she thinks of kasidy, she very seriously says that she has incredible compassion, intelligence, and integrity, and that she doesn’t need or want jadzia’s approval. but has it anyway

MUSICAL EPISODE: someone already outlined a great musical ep where lwaxana comes in with a betazoid cold and it makes everyone burst into song in another text post and like 100% cosigned

SHAKESPEARE EP: holosuite shenanigans; every character is suddenly stuck as someone from a different shakespeare play. garak is an enthusiastically combative beatrice, kira is cordelia, worf is hamlet, jadzia is a very amused katerina, julian is puck, miles is duncan (”i get MURDERED?”), odo is benvolio and kind of bummed he’s not romeo, etc. i actually don’t know any shakespeare play that well but i think it could be neat. julian is the only fucking person on ds9 who actually knows any of it well enough to figure out what’s going on, except for sisko who doesn’t really care for shakespeare but generally knows about the plays (maybe a good opportunity to talk about the racism in most ‘classic Earth’ pop culture that star trek tends to uphold without criticism). i don’t know shit about the 40 plays that shakespeare wrote about british kings but i could see sisko ending up in that kind of intense role and refusing to play into it, as do the rest of the characters who refuse to fulfill their respective roles and instead find another way to end the program.

KLINGON OPERA EPISODE: goodddddddd can we see some klingon opera, mac. i’ve been dying to see some klingon opera. premise is they believe that someone is assassinating ambassadors and so they tag along with a andorian ambassador who loves opera to see if they can figure out who the assassin is, however the andorian plays it down as over-worrying and that they should use it as an excuse to enjoy themselves. worf and jadzia go and have a lovey dovey time, sisko and kasidy go and have a lovey dovey time watching worf and jadzia get super into the opera together. julian is asked to go in case there’s poison used or first aid needed, and miles is like ‘the last time i went undercover i came home with trauma and someone’s cat so no thanks i hate klingon opera’ and after some increasingly overt passive aggressive implications that julian should take HIM, julian asks garak to go with him. bonus points if for some reason they are wearing the stupid tuxedos from doctor bashir i presume. a lot of loud arguing about the opera which almost gets them kicked out. at the end of the first act, one of the actors DOES try to kill the andorian but jadzia jumps in front of the phaser beam (cue worf being very concerned and annoyed that she could have gotten killed, jadzia being very smug and pleased with herself, her head in his lap, in a pose mirroring an earlier couple in the opera). julian feels like he would have noticed if he hadn’t been distracted by garak, and when it turns out the andorian ambassador has sensitive info about cardassia’s civilian government, julian accuses garak of intentionally trying to distract him to make sure the andorian actually died, which turns into a huge argument (ideally in a very opulent klingon opera house bathroom). during the argument, julian realizes that garak was trying to hint to him that something about the assassination attempt was off; he pieces together aloud that the andorian and the actor must have been in league together, to fake the andorian’s assassination so they could not be tried for profiteering by illegally selling weapons to the cardassian central control during bajoran occupation, which they are currently under investigation for. the other ambassador assasinations were planned by the andorian to cover their tracks. the andorian is arrested, as is the actor. at the ballroom afterparty, sisko and kasidy, in a good mood that everything worked out, agree to join in on traditional klingon dancing. worf and jadzia take a peaceful walk through the gardens and worf recites some really lovely klingon poetry about how sometimes it’s NOT a good day to die if someone loves you, that none of us fucking understand without looking it up. julian and garak talk on the balcony, and julian posits that garak is loyal to cardassia, but which part of it? garak answers, very close and meaningfully looking at julian, ‘like most things... it’s complicated.’

i was about to say ‘fake wedding episode’ but literally LITERALLY that was the shotgun wedding lwaxana/odo ep. i love star trek

KEIKO BOTANIST EPISODE: kira accompanies keiko to bajor to help find a medicinal plant that was thought to be wiped out during the occupation but might still exist in a remote mountain region based on local reports. a nice episode where we learn more about bajor and see how bajorans are coping and healing. over a campfire, kira thanks keiko for accepting her into their family. keiko tells kira that she was really intimidated by her when they first met, and then realized she’s one of the most loving people she knows. just a nice episode, maybe some mild nature survival conflict, but ends on a hopeful note of them finding the plant. miles beams down with the kids to have a picnic with keiko and kira, and kira’s happy to see children playing carelessly on bajor again.

JAKE AND ZIYAL EPISODE: everyone thinks jake and ziyal are dating because they’ve been hanging out. julian’s an idiot and mentions to sisko ‘must be hard, huh’ and sisko’s like ‘WHAT must be hard’ and julian’s like oh my god were we not supposed to talk to him about this. jake and ziyal aren’t dating but as soon as sisko tries to talk to jake about it jake is like ‘i’m not but actually maybe i SHOULD ask her out’ and sisko is like fuck. okay no that’s fine. this is more of a B-plot but basically give jake and ziyal age-appropriate love interests they’re both RIGHT there

[sparrow-flies-south]

Remus’s Guide To Mending Friendships (For Fun And Profit) [4/?]

Fandom: Sanders Sides Rating: Teen Pairings: Deceit & Virgil, Deceit & Virgil & Remus, Remus & Roman Warnings: Disturbing imagery (it’s Remus’s POV), imagined character death Summary: When he realises that Deceit misses Virgil, Remus decides that the best way to cheer him up is to persuade Virgil to come back to the dark side. Too bad Virgil hasn’t wanted anything to do with them since he left.

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Five  AO3

Step Four: Encourage Open And Honest Communication

Deceit could pick up on a lie like a cadaver dog scenting a rotting corpse. Trying to trick him into doing something was a fool’s errand. He was also familiar enough with Remus’s antics to know not to investigate any doors that might suddenly appear in front of him.

(Virgil had clearly gone soft on the light side. His reaction to a strange door appearing had been to walk right up to investigate it. It was as if he wanted to be shoved inside.)

No, when dealing with Deceit, it was best to be direct.

“Go through that door,” Remus said, as soon as Deceit stepped out of his room.

“Absolutely not,” Deceit replied immediately.

Remus pouted. “Why not?”

Deceit sighed and rubbed his temples. “Does it lead to a cave with a monster?” he asked. “Or do you have someone else tied up? Logan, perhaps.”

“Why would I wanted to kidnap Logan?” Remus asked.

Deceit stared him down.

“Fine!” Remus threw his hands up in the air. “I’m trying to lock you in a closet. To help you.”

Deceit blinked. “That… is exactly what I expected your plan to be. Is the closet a metaphor?”

“No.”

“Does it contain a bottomless pit? A portal to a hell dimension?”

“No and no.”

“Is this a coup?”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re paranoid?”

“Remus.”

“If I tell you what’s in there, you’ll say no,” Remus complained.

“Which means I should say no regardless.��

Remus groaned. “I’ll pay you to go in there.”

“Currency has no real values other than what we assign it,” Deceit said. “The only reason a piece of paper is worth, say, $100 is because everyone agrees it does.”

“No money then,” Remus said, because he knew Deceit could go on a rant for hours if allowed to. “There must be something you want.”

Deceit considered. “Leave my stuff alone for two months.”

“One month!”

Deceit made a show of opening his door.

“Two months, yeesh. Can I trap you in a small confined space now?”

Deceit sighed, but stepped up to the door. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Maybe at first, but then you’ll love it.”

Remus flung open the door, and threw Deceit inside before locking it again.

The closet wasn’t really in the corridor. It existed in a pocket of the imagination, but Remus could summon the door wherever he wanted. He kept the door up so he could listen in.

The doorknob jiggled, and Deceit sighed. “What exactly is the point of this?”

“What are you doing here?” Virgil said from further in the closet.

Someone started banging on the door.

“Remus!” Deceit shouted. “Let us out of here?”

Over the noise, Remus was only just able to hear Virgil say, “Wait, you’re not behind this?”

“Why yes, Virgil, I woke up this morning with the urge to trap myself in a small space with someone who hates my guts.”

Well, Deceit wasn’t being very optimistic. Still, it gave Virgil the chance to tell Deceit the truth.

“The door won’t budge,” Virgil said. “I already tried.”

“Remus!” Deceit shouted.

“He’s probably not even listening.”

“Do you have any better ideas?” Deceit snapped.

Virgil didn’t respond. The banging continued.

Remus had hoped they’d be talking to each other by now, not ignoring each other. He sat on the floor. This was going to take a while.

“Deceit, stop!” Virgil cried out, after a few minutes of banging had passed.

“What?” Deceit snarled.

“Your hands.” Virgil sounded closer, like he was right next to the door.

“Oh,” Deceit said quietly.

There was a moment of silence, and then Virgil said gruffly, “Whatever. Break your knuckles if you want, I don’t care.”

Silence.

“Virgil,” Deceit began, and then stopped. “What if I told you I might know a way out?”

“I’d wonder why you didn’t mention it before.”

“Because I enjoy slamming my fists in to a door, of course. But I’m just thrilled about what my idea entails.”

“God, I forgot how annoying you are,” Virgil muttered. “Fine, what’s your plan?”

“It’s simple. We do what Remus wants us to do. He must have put us in here for a reason, after all.”

“Remus could want anything,” Virgil pointed out. “That doesn’t help us much.”

“And as someone who lives with him, I certain have no idea what he could possibly want.” Deceit sighed. “He wants us to… talk to each other.” He sounded as if each word pained him to say.

“Just tell me what he really wants, asshole,” Virgil snapped.

“Unfortunately, I’m telling the complete truth.”

Well, at least they were talking, even if it wasn’t from a desire to confess how they truly felt.

“Fuck that,” Virgil said.

Or not.

“Of course,” Deceit replied. “Your grudge against me is far more important than us getting out of here.”

Remus could practically smell Virgil’s glare. “Grudge? You lied to me, you manipulated me, and when I stopped putting up with your shit, you kicked me out. It’s more than just a grudge.”

“You could have come back at any time,” Deceit responded. “You were just too busy with your new friends.”

“Because they care about me! They don’t see me as some – some pawn to manipulate.”

Deceit laughed. “Of course. They’ve always had your back. Always seen the best in you.”

“Maybe they would have, if you hadn’t gotten into my head. Made me think I had to be an asshole to everyone.”

“It must be very convenient to have someone to cast the villain. Makes it a lot easier to ignore your own mistakes.”

Remus shifted uncomfortably. This wasn’t going according to plan.

“I know I made mistakes. But when I decided to change, you tried to stop me.”

“Because you shouldn’t have had to change! You were strong. If the others didn’t listen to you, if Thomas didn’t listen to you, you made them listen. Now look at you.”

“Why does it matter how strong I am!”

Remus pulled the closet door open. Deceit and Virgil were standing so close to each other they were nearly touching, both glaring. Deceits hands were clenched, and there were spots of red on the knuckles of his gloves. Neither seemed to have noticed Remus.

“If you had left for power,” Deceit said, his voice like still waters, “I could understand it. Respect it even. Instead you threw away everything, left your family behind, for what? The love of people who only care about you if you play by their rules?”

Virgil took a step back, his body coiled as if he were about to spring. He tightened his jaw, and when he spoke, he didn’t look away from Deceit. “You’re not my family. You never were.”

Silence seemed to fill the room. Virgil glanced at Remus, and then sunk out.

Deceit stood still, breathing heavily. Then he turned to look at Remus, his face like ice.

“Happy now?” He asked.

Remus shook his head. “Dee, I-“

“I told you to leave Virgil alone,” he snarled. “What good did you think could possibly come from this? Or did you just do it to torment us?”

“I wanted to help.”

Deceit laughed. “How could someone like you help? You break everything you touch, and you thought, what, that you could make everything better?”

“I thought if you talked – talking was supposed to fix things.”

“Well, we talked!” Deceit said, spreading his arms wide as if he were addressing an audience, and not just Remus. “Have you gotten the message yet? Or are you too stupid to figure it out?”

“That’s not fair,” Remus protested. His eyes burned, why did his eyes burn? “You didn’t even try.”

“What’s the point? Even if he did think about coming back, he’d change his mind the moment he spoke to you.”

Remus stared, unable to say anything. Deceit was lying, he had to be lying. He’d never said anything about him scaring Virgil off before.

“Did you really think that he enjoyed spending time with you? What could you possibly have to offer, your charming personality? He was terrified of you. He probably attached himself to the light sides so fast just so he could get away from you.”

“That’s not true,” Remus said, though it came out weak.

Deceit smiled. “Of course not. Everyone just loves hanging around you, don’t they?”

Remus’s hands clenched into fists. “I wish I’d let the lion eat you,” he said, and vanished into the imagination.

His face felt damp with tears. As if Deceit didn’t already think he was stupid, he just had to go and breakdown. Of course Remus spent so much time with Deceit, he couldn’t even handle the truth, had to have the embodiment of lies tell him.

Something growled. A monster approached out of the darkness, circling him. Remus hadn’t realised he’d summoned one.

He let the creature lunge, but didn’t give it the chance to sink its teeth into his flesh. He brought his mace down quickly on the monsters head, crushing its skull, and the flung the body away.

It didn’t make him feel any better. He summoned another.

That one didn’t make him feel any better either.

[shehasamole]

Danny Phantom Reboot Rant

I rember watching the frist episode of Danny Phantom when it came out. I have had an unhealthy obsession with this show for a majority of my life.

If you haven't heard, Nickelodeon and Netflix made a deal with the intention to reboot and create Nickelodeon shows as a team. And boy oh boy do I have some words.

Do I want a reboot: Of fucking course I do!

Do I want a reboot: God no.

1. Butch Hartman, no matter what anyone says, is somewhat of a father figure to me. He shaped my childhood when my parents couldn't.

- He is someone who I find likes to keep up to date with new media, though cringy as times, for someone in his generation he still fanboys over stuff like superhero cartoons and anime. Which is important, he has never shown that corporate side of himself in his work he is genuinely dedicated to creating these fun story lines. The last season he was barely involved...and let's just not think of Phantom Planet *shivers*. Unlike other children show creators, he isn't using children's undeveloped brains to profit easily, but actually wants to teach morals and create entertaining content.

- He's a good creator and isn't scared to come up with dark yet humorous plots.

- For more than ten years he has been listening to fans and I believe he genuinely cherishes our opinions and has even talked about his love for our art and fanfiction on Danny phantom.

- If ANYONE could bring Danny back with the same humour, interesting plot and character development it would be him. HOWEVER, Butch Hartman is no longer in association with Nickelodeon and still does not hold the rights to Danny Phantom.

2. The Fandom

- Many people in the fandom are like me, we were in elementary school or somewhere around there when DP first aired. Meaning that this fandom, though small, has grown up as we have. With it being off the air for more than a decade we have transformed this kids show into something completely different.

- We were left with so many qurstions and so many holes we decided to fill in ourselves. And to be honest I'm proud of us. We have gone to creating so many headcanons and even new characters and timelines, it's basically not even the same show anymore.

- Wes

3. CONCLUSION

- Yes for reboot: If butch hartman was put as head of the team from beginning to end I think a reboot would have a shot. If the fans are listened to and we don't continue from where we left off on Phantom Planet, I think it wouldn't be awful. And with that our fandom could possibly grow bigger. I want more shows for my cousins and my future kids to learn morals from. Danny Phantom unintentionally shaped me so much into the person I am, and even developed my sense of humor in a positive sense. I want our future generation to also grow up with that, especially when it's so lacking at the moment.

- No reboot: It's been over a decade, and we've morphed this fandom into so many things that I'm honestly proud of. I enjoy the little community that comes out of it's cave on April 3rd to shit post. The theories and the character development WE made together is something I fear will be lost in a reboot. That might be me just being someone afraid of change, but even so, I don't want anything damging what we've built. On the logistical side of things, I don't think it would be good. Like I said before, we now live is a world where top executives have cracked the code to making a kids show with minimal effort that will entertain kids just enough to keep them from flipping the channel. And with Butch Hartman out of the picture, Nickelodeon holds copyright claim on Danny Phantom. They can easily use Danny's name as something they pull out of a filing cabinet with their eyes closed, "this seems popular, remake this but make them fart alot and tell poop jokes." I don't think my heart could watch my childhood hero be torn to shreds in front of kids that could've admired him like we do. We've waited all this time for a reboot, and if it's going to happen we deserve it to be good.

Thanks for reading this all if you did. I honestly want to hear what you guys think.

[invisibletinkerer]

Fic: The Secret Journal of 'Stanford' Pines

Size: ~3000 words AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864183

Stan Pines keeps a journal of brief daily notes during the summer of 2012.

Note: We all know that the Gravity Falls timeline makes no sense whatsoever. Therefore this is based on a headcanon timeline I made a year or so ago, trying to incorporate as many of the canon dates (in show and published J3) as possible, but ignoring the ones that were contradictory or made no sense. This still means some episodes did not happen in a strictly chronological order.

June 1

Kids are here. I have no idea what to do. Why did I agree to this.

Boy is a grump and girl made macaroni art in the kitchen. Did I even have macaroni?

 June 2 Sunday

I think boy got spooked in the forest. He seems fine, though. Good taste in gold chains.

Girl is now dating some punk kid.

 June 3

Kids looked like they’d been run over by the golf cart when they got back tonight. Not good.

Gave them some free gifts from the shop to cheer em up. Yes I know

Boy got a new hat. Should get him to wear a Mystery Shack shirt next. Girl found a grappling hook that was not in my inventory. Bold choice.

What would they say if they knew about me?

June 4

Fishing Season Opening Day – took the kids fishing.

Of course, they got excited about monster hunting instead. They’re listening to reason about as well as I and Fo did as a kid.

But. They came back to me in the end. We had fun.

I love those kids.

 June 5

Soos found those cursed old wax statues I sealed up some ten years ago. Don’t seem all that cursed now. One had melted.

Mabel’s gonna make a new one for the wax museum. Meaning I’ll have to figure out how to make suckers pay to look at wax statues again.

 June 6

Mabel’s wax creation nearly gave me a heart attack. It looks just like my twin me.

She’s crazy talented.

 June 7

I’d say the wax museum reopening went well. Assuming “well” means “profit”.

Did anyone actually think I’d hand out free pizza?

 June 8

Hanging out with my wax twin Stan, and the moment I turned my back he was murdered.

 June 9 Sunday

Tried to hold a funeral for Wax Stan. Failed to keep it tounge-in-cheek.

Face it, Ford is long gone

 June 10

Guess the wax people were still as cursed as I remembered. Kids killed them with fire – I should have done that long ago.

Dipper crawled in the vents all day looking for a wax head that got away.

If I keep telling him he’s delusional, he’s got to stop looking for trouble eventually, right?

 June 11

Mabel decided I should date Lazy Susan. Couldn’t stop her. Now Susan and her cats keep calling me.

This was a bad idea. (I will never tell Mabel that.)

 June 12

Went on a date with Lazy Susan to shut her up. That ended just as well as expected.

Need to figure out some more specific excuses.

 June 13

The worst thing is, the Portal should work now. It’s functional. I just can’t get it to start.

Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along

I did fix that old copier. Don’t know if it still makes copies of people, but at least it makes copies of paper again.

Caught Dipper making oogly eyes at Wendy. I smell drama.

 June 14

Did not expect “The Duchess Approves” to be that good.

 June 15

The traditional Mystery Shack party that has nothing to do with any birthdays.

Mabel is a great singer, and that Northwest brat cheated.

Happy birthday, Sixer.

 June 16 Sunday

Gideon Gleeful’s running TV ads again.

Of course my family goes to his show just to spite me.

 June 17

Mabel played with Gideon today. Did not see that one coming.

As long as she’s happy, I guess.

 June 18

I hate Pioneer Day.

Stupid people acting even stupider than normal, nothing works, then someone (me) ends up in the stocks.

 June 19

Gideon and Mabel are dating!?

Seemed like a horrible idea, but Bud Gleeful has a point on the moneymaking opportunities if we play it right.

 June 20

So if Mabel marries Gideon, his business will be incorporated into mine. I sure like the sound of that.

Bud is already making t-shirts.

 June 21

 June 22

OK, no. No deals with the Gleefuls. Not now or ever.

Mabel broke up with the little pest. Good riddance.

Got me a nice painting from Bud’s house, though.

 June 23 Sunday

The Mystery Fair! It may look cheap, but it brings in the money.

Though someone broke all safety protocols and brought a futuristic laser gun to Dunkle the Grunkle. That’s unfair.

Mabel has a pig now.

 June 24

Got roped into the gaming arcade with the kids.

Maybe get one of those games for the Shack?

 June 25

Mabel decided to fix my fear of heights.

I can say this – being on top of a water tower about to fall over was unpleasant. Compared to that, a high but stable ground isn’t so bad.

Dipper got into a fistfight with Wendy’s boyfriend over teenage drama, but good on him for standing up for himself.

 June 26

For some reason Gideon has gotten it into himself that he wants the Mystery Shack now.

Good luck, kid. I’m a better conman than you’ll ever be.

 June 27

Mabel is slightly taller than Dipper. This is funny.

Gideon Gleeful trying to be threatening while throwing a hysterical fit after breaking my new mirror maze – mostly confusing. Wish I knew what went on in that kid’s head.

 June 28

Kids made me wear the golden teeth. Guess they think I’m a dishonest man.

Fortunately, I’m good at bullshitting even when telling the truth. Think I scandalized the poor things. Hilarious.

Could have been disaster, though. Could have easily made them hate me.

 June 29

Spent half the day falling down the Bottomless Pit.

 June 30 Sunday

Summerween, now that’s a respectable local holiday.

Scaring children for fun and profit. Celebrating true evil together with family.

 July 1

Hottest day of the year. Wax Stan was permanently murdered by the weather.

Closed the Shack and went to the municipal pool with the kids.

Gideon stole my perfect pool chair. It’s on.

 July 2

Broke into the pool area at night to get the chair to myself. Which was a good plan, until I wanted to get up later in the day. The pest had coated it with glue.

The kids broke into the pool at night, too. Didn’t ask.

 July 3

Opened the Shack again.

Can’t be too lazy. Tourists to fleece and all that.

 July 4

 July 5

Mabel bet she could run the Shack better than I can. Well. I’m nothing if not a gambler.

So, three days of vacation, in which I will make more money than she will make running the Shack. Winner takes the Shack, loser sings a silly song.

Best case scenario, she learns something about business and stops complaining. Worst case, she actually makes money and then runs the Shack for me the rest of the summer. Not bad.

 July 6

Made it past the line to be a contestant on Cash Wheel, using my Old Man powers and lack of common decency.

Why is it so hard to sleep

 July 7 Sunday

Well. I lost at Cash Wheel.

Guess that means I lost the bet with Mabel, too. Unless I go rob a bank or something in the time I have left. Hm.

 July 8

Turns out Mabel barely broke even when running the Shack. She did win the bet, but she didn’t want my job, no surprise there.

I’m proud of her for learning something.

She still made me sing that song. On video tape. It’s kinda catchy.

 July 9

Mabel’s friends came for a sleepover. They make a lot of noice.

 July 10

Soos managed to uncover the door to Ford’s that old study I sealed thirty years ago the very moment the kids demanded separate bedrooms.

I never wanted to see that room again. His glasses were still there

Guess they didn’t want the room in the end, but now it’s open. Can’t re-seal it.

I think they messed around with the freaky carpet. Took it away at the end of the day just in case.

 July 11

I fucked up, but I fixed it.

I got Mabel’s pig back, even when I had to punch a pterodactyl in the face for it.

She doesn’t hate me.

I love that kid so much.

 July 12

That weird egg I pocketed from the dino-cave hatched. Dipper says it’s a compo-whatnot.

I call him Compy. He’s now my Mystery Pet.

 July 13

Soos’ birthday. The kids tried to throw a party, which is. Bad idea.

Think he appreciated laser tag, though. And the magic pizza they got him. Never seen him so happy on a birthday.

 July 14 Sunday

Turns out Compy is a very tiny dragon. Hoards stuff, mostly cash. In places I can’t reach.

It’s no good. Gonna hand the chicken-lizard over to farmer Sprott first thing in the morning before he bankrupts me.

 July 15

Mabel and her friends went to some boy band concert. Got back late with a large pack of spoils. Probably robbed someone.

Wendy’s boyfriend is charming her with homemade music. Dipper suspects magic. Can’t rule that out.

 July 16

There was a hypnotic message in the music, but telling Wendy about it only made the teenage drama worse.

Went bowling with Dipper afterwards to cheer him up. Should have a chat with Wendy, too.

 July 17

Gideon   I’m   How could

Didn’t know Gideon was that serious.

As if half-lucid dreams about that yellow triangle wasn’t bad enough. (The kids know something. Not asking. I want them to stay away from that stuff.)

We’re staying with Soos as I panic figure out how to fix this.

 July 18

I can’t fix this.

Gideon’s got the whole town eating out of his hand and I’m just a grouchy old man.

Doing the responsible thing. Got bus tickets to send the kids home tomorrow.

Whatever I do next, don’t want them to watch.

 July 19

GIDEON IS A LITTLE SHIT AND I AM AWESOME.

Figured out his trick, proved it in public and now he’s in jail.

Got the Shack back. Got the kids back.

And. Get this. Gideon had one of Ford’s missing journals. I have it now.

 July 20

I can’t believe it. Dipper. Had the third journal all summer.

All three of the dumb books are right here in front of me.

I activated the Portal. Simple as anything.

It’s scanning for Ford right now.

I’m actually bringing him back.

 July 21 Sunday

Grand reopening of the Mystery Shack turned into a zombie-fest.

Kids could’ve died because I was too busy with the Portal to pay attention. That won’t happen again.

Should have talked to them about weirdness sooner. Hope they believed me when I said I have no more secrets.

A little worried that government might have picked up signals from the Portal.

 July 22

Repairing the Shack. Too much undead slime to attract tourists like this.

 July 23

Re-reopened the Shack.

Dipper got himself an old laptop computer from somewhere. Probably stolen. He tried to hide it.

 July 24

Went minigolfing with the kids.

Mabel challenged Pacifica Northwest to a duel at midnight. I’m so proud of her.

Letting kids into minigolf courts at night to take a rich snob down a few pegs – finally putting my skills to good use.

 July 25

I still can’t believe the Portal works.

It keeps scanning.

 July 26

Tried to bring old Goldie back to the gift shop but apparently he’s unhip and scary. Had to throw him away before the parents sued me.

What I do need is a singing animatronic robot badger. That’s what kids like these days.

 July 27

Soos missed work for the first time ever. Seems to be girl trouble, but the kids are handling it.

Would’ve stolen myself a robot badger if it hadn’t tried to kill me. Saved by old Goldie. No way I’m not keeping him now.

 July 28 Sunday

Went for a Vegas vacation because I deserve it.

Not because I’m nervous.

Brought Goldie, might have gotten slightly drunk. And slightly married.

 July 29

Mabel found herself a new obsession with hand puppets.

She’ll throw a big show on Friday. Made me rent Gravity Falls theatre for her. (Can’t believe I did that.)

 July 30

The Shack is full of sock puppets and kids and Mabel keeps singing.

Guess this is my life now.

 July 31

 August 1

Soos went to his cousin’s wedding with his new girlfriend. Good on him.

Mabel’s still obsessing about puppets.

Dipper looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Can’t blame him with all this ruckus.

 August 2

Play was good! Think it paid for the costs, too. Mabel’s got showmanship.

Don’t get the ending, though.

I mean. Children fighting always makes for good footage, but was it necessary to beat Dipper up that bad? I swear Mabel don’t know how strong she is.

A little worried about Dipper. He seemed high as a kite all day. Probably sleep deprivation. At least he’s sleeping now.

 August 3

 August 4 Sunday

Gravity’s going more crazy around the Portal the longer it’s on, but I don’t care.

It hasn’t found Ford yet.

It won’t find him if he’s dead

 August 5

The Portal ate my notebook.

Got a nasty cut on the back of my hand from some debris, too. Could have been worse.

 August 6

Tried to advertise the Mystery Shack for the kids at the Woodstick Festival. Hilarious disaster.

Being feared is worth more than being loved anyway.

 August 7

 August 8

IT FOUND HIM.

He’s alive. There’s a lock on his position.

Fuck I don’t  I have to

I know how it works. It needs to calibrate for a while. It needs to be fueled for the big moment.

I’ll go rob a government facility right now.

(So glad the kids are off at the Northwest party tonight.)

27 hours and then I’ll see him again.

 August 9

Ford is back.

I had to run from the feds and the kids found out everything the wrong way but it worked and he’s back.

But he doesn’t  He still hates me.  

Why would I expect anything else.

Don’t know what I’d do with myself if the kids weren’t here.

It’s fine. I fucked up everything, but. Mabel trusts me. Dipper forgives me. I’m fine.

not crying

 August 10 Sunday

The Shack needs repairs again.

Spent most of the day making Duck-tective finale preparations with Mabel. We had fun.

Told the kids to stay away from Ford.

 August 11

Dipper has predictably decided to be nerd friends with my brother.

Can’t stop him. He looks happy. Both of them do.

Still can’t figure out why Ford would have reality altering dice lying around in his sci-fi pouch.

Anyway. I knew Duck-tective had an evil twin.

 August 12

I hate everything.

Ford will take my his place here soon enough, does he have to undercut me while I’m still here?

I’m running for mayor now.

 August 13

Kids are helping me with a political campaign. Apparently I know nothing about politics and have unpalatable opinions. Bah.

 August 14

The Stump Speech went great! I relax, words happen, people cheer.

Dipper got a lucky tie for me. Think it really works.

 August 15

Should’ve tried being a politician before. Almost feels like people like me.

 August 16

Nope. Politics is not for me. Too much mind control.

Should’ve known it wasn’t me making those speeches.

(The kids shouldn’t get into politics either. Can’t always be there to save them from murder.)

Turns out I’m not mayor material, but I’m a HERO.

Take that, Ford.

 August 17

Rented an RV and took Soos and the kids and Mabel’s friends on a road trip.

Pranking the tourist traps. Good old Mystery Shack tradition for the last time.

Dipper’s practising flirting like a pro.

 August 18 Sunday

Almost got eaten by a spider-woman. That could have gone better.

Have to admit, the kids are heroes too.

Don’t think Ford noticed we were gone.

 August 19

Opened the Mystery Shack for the final stretch.

Two more weeks, then I’m gone for good.

 August 20

Made a good deal on illegal pugs. Still got it.

Ford and Dipper put some magic mojo on the Shack. Not gonna ask.

Might have something to do with how badly Ford is sleeping.

 August 21

Ten days left until the kids’s birthday and the end of summer.

Guess I’m doing a countdown now.

 August 22

Nine days left.

 August 23

Eight days left.

I’m gonna order a ponytail kit.

 August 24

HELL NO I DON’T NEED THIS.

It’s the literal end of the world and the kids are missing.

Suddenly orange skies, goats turning into monsters, the whole shebang. I thought I had enough troubles.

That magic on the Shack seems to be protecting it, but. THE KIDS ARE MISSING. So is Ford.

 ??? 1

Day and night are replaced by eternal glowing orange and every single clock is busted, so no more dates.

Went out looking for the kids, but all I find is other people. Also demons. No sign of Soos or Wendy, either.

Been taking people to the Shack. Safest place on Earth for all I know. I have enough brown meat and elected myself Chief.

The kids are fine. Probably with Ford. That’s the ticket.

 ??? 2

Went out looking again. Found the Northwest girl dressed in nothing but a potato sack. She was crying and I don’t want to know, but she didn’t deserve it.

Been told the head honcho is the yellow triangle. He calls this Weirdmageddon.

Old McGucket showed up more coherent than usual, herding a whole flock of forest creatures into the Shack. Starting to get crowded here.

The kids are fine. Of course they are.

 ??? 3

There’s still people alive out there. I heard cars over at Gleeful’s place.

Didn’t see anyone else.

I’ve lost  I couldn’t even

Mabel and Dipper are definitely still alive. So is Soos and Wendy. And Ford better be.

 ??? 4

They’re alive!

All four of my kids, bursting through the door like cops doing a raid but they’re alive!

Now all I want is for them to stay here and be safe. Why can’t they see that?

I’m done saving my brother’s skin and getting nothing but scorn for it.

Ford made his own bed with that demon. Forget it.

 ??? 5

Did I mention, the plan concocted by five kids, Soos, and a known madman is utterly insane?

They’re rebuilding the Shack. I just had it repaired, too.

It’s my house, but no one’s listening to me.

 ??? 6

I keep having this bad feeling about Ford.

It’s dumb. My brother has made it perfectly clear how he feels about being saved.

 ??? 7

Well then.

Not letting the kids lead an apocalypse rebellion against a demonic triangle without me.

 August 25 Sunday

 August 26

 August 27

 August 28

Huh. I can’t remember writing this, but it does ring a few bells.

It’s like I

I need to talk to Ford.

 August 29

So. The apocalypse is over, and we’re all fine.

We killed the demon by burning my mind out when he was inside, pretty much.

My mind’s still there, but it’s kinda. Well. In need of repair.

Spent a few days reliving good memories.

Turns out there’s more than a few bad ones, too. But.

Everyone is so good to me

I don’t deserve this

 August 30

I remember how Ford looked at me after I brought him back.

Now he acts like  he likes to   he thinks I’m

Now it’s like he’s my brother again.

He said. “Thank you.”

 August 31

The kids have left. I’ll miss them, but I’ll see them again.

Until then, my brother and I are going sailing.

[neshabeingchildish]

WEEK FOUR: GENERAL PROMPTS ♡ 1/27 | Fluff #2

So, in true Nesha fashion, I’m gonna go a little bit in a direction that I’m unsure of whether or not it’s what is being sought out, but my interpretation of the prompts. Idk if I’ll keep up with it this week. We’ll see what type of feedback I get about today’s… Which… Anybody paying any attention to me will know that Fluff is not my ministry, but I’ll give it a try. Here is my premise: I am going to take the AU universes that I put out last week and give y’all a drabble for each with this week’s concepts. At least, that’s my goal. So, here goes.

Fantasy  ♡ Full Moon Over Swellview

Jasper handed out Valentines’ cards to everyone in the school that he knew. A lot of people were EXTREMELY happy to get them, to Charlotte’s surprise. They were 16 years old. Who the heck cared about Valentines’ Day Capitalism? Apparently everyone but her. Henry had even made himself a little business on the side, accepting flower gram orders for $3, since the high school didn’t do them anymore after a budget crisis that Captain Man caused.  Charlotte found it appalling that Henry would profit off of a service that he was at leas partially responsible for the school having to give up, but… who was she gonna tell but he and Jasper? Nobody knew that Henry was Kid Danger, and she valued that secret. She’d SOONER tell them that he was a vampire. She wouldn’t tell either.

Whenever she got to her locker, she found a red sack attached to it and sighed, opening it up and looking inside. It was some type of scroll. Trusting no one, she glanced around and when she was convinced that the coast was clear, scanned it to be certain it wasn’t a set up of dark forces. It was just from Jasper. She laughed and opened it. An invitation to a Valentine’s Day dinner. She tossed the scroll and the sack into her locker and yelped when she turned around and Henry was there with a bouquet. “Hey! I got you some flowers!” He said. She put her hand over her heart. “There are A LOT of people who like you. Never would’ve guessed.” She took them and stuffed them in her locker, not even bothering to glance at the cards that went with them. “Wow. So playa,” Henry said, impressed.

“I HATE these aspects of Valetines’ Day!” she complained. “You know… it wasn’t even initially candy and card sales. It was a love lottery for fertility. We should be banging, if we really want to celebrate.”

“I have no problems with that,” he said. She threw him a look. “It’s all in good fun. NOTHING that we celebrate has it’s original meanings. Well… I mean, the rest of us. You’re probably gonna Pagan the heck out of today, huh?”

“No, not really, but I did make something for Jasper, because of the whole  Lupercalia lore.” She could tell from Henry’s face that he had no idea what she was talking about, so she gave him the quick notes, “Old Pagan custom is kinda a part of werewolf history.”

“Oh.”

“So, I made him these little Romulus and Remus, feeding on the She Wolf.” Henry’s eyes were wide in confusion. “He will maybe know what it represents and probably like it!” She snapped and slammed her locker. “This holiday is stupid, anyway! Who spends all the time and money that people spend on these things for high school relationships? None of the couples that you unethically charged for flower grams are gonna last.”

“You are the Scrooge of Valentine’s Day,” Henry commented.

“I am the Scrooge of any observation that the Christians stole and remarketed when they were traveling the world killing people for being unbelievers. No offense to the ones that just go to church and go home until they die, but let’s be very factual about how much history and culture that religion has taken and ruined! And in the name of such a progressive miracle working practitioner!”

“How about this? Forget the Christians stealing it and making it about cards and candy and just look at it as a night to get to pet Jasper’s belly and scratch behind his ears by candlelight. That’s what I’m doing.” Henry said. “Nobody hates Christianity more than the vamps. We literally will burst into flames at a crucifix wielded with enough holy hate.” She laughed at the phrase “holy hate.” But… that was a good way to take her mind off of things.

The truth was that a lot of warrior witches lead lonely lives. Battling the evils that defied nature, the ones that misuse nature for their dark purposes, and so on… That almost guaranteed that she couldn’t get close to people, make many friends, or fall in love. The fact that these normals were always “falling in love” only to throw it away in a few months and still made an entire DAY of it was irritating to behold. They took so much for granted all of the time and she was frequently sick of it. But, if she was gonna spend time with her friends, that was at least cool.

Jasper made a setting in the Man Cave for the three of them. He’d of course invited both of the “loves of his life” to this Valentine’s Day event, set the table with stuff that the three of them loved and decorated the place with red and hearts. He got them into their seats and then took his own. “So… I hope that everybody enjoys everything. I wanted to treat you both to something special, because I love both of you and I know that neither of you believe that you’ll ever find love, (both Henry and Charlotte began to try to argue with that assessment) whether or not either of you will admit it. But, I love you both. So, Happy… Day of Love.” He didn’t want to say the “V” word around Charlotte and start a tangent.

“Charlotte’s got a present for you, Dude.” Henry said, reaching out to adjust the bouquet that Jasper had placed in the center of the table. It needed a little bit of work. Jasper looked at Charlotte, excitedly. The “wagging his tail look,” she thought of it as, because if he was in wolf form, she knew that he would be.

“Yeah… It’s probably stupid. You might not even like it, just in observance of this time of year, I made this little display…” She reached into her satchel and pulled out something wrapped in a red fabric. “Actually made from 100% Jasper hair and fur… also wood, from a very sacred tree, to my family… and some crystals that I… had…” She was TRYING not to blabber, because that made the gift even more important, she realized with everything that she said.

He was now looking at the unwrapped thing. Twin boys with hair like his suckling on a lady wolf with twinkling eyes and the word Lupercalia carved into the base. “This is the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever given me,” he said in a small voice. “I love it… and you!” He gave her a hug and a kiss and set it on the table, near the bouquet. “I’m gonna cherish this forever.”

“Henry, I also got YOU a gift!” Henry gasped. He honestly hadn’t expected one! She was SO against it, and as far as he knew, there were no vampire ties to this holiday, and even if there were, she was still pretty anti-vampire, no matter how much she tried to accept him, personally. She pulled out a jewelry box and he opened it to see a glass vile, attached to a necklace with symbols. “Is… is this YOURS?” He asked.

“Yes.” It was super forbidden in her practice to offer her blood to a vampire. Vampires would drain witches dry and discard all remains, in order to keep safe from possible attacks. So, for her to offer it to him was a huge show of faith, and huge sign of love. He rushed to give her a hug and a kiss too, then she helped him put it on. He was never going to take it off.

She wondered, “Did you two get each other anything special?”

Jasper shrugged and said, “I have a pitcher of blood on the table for the feast.

Henry said, “I got him some of those Valentines Day chew toys from the pet store.”

“You two are SO romantic,” she said sarcastically. They laughed, then everybody paused when Ray came in, dressed like cupid and setting food on the table. Charlotte shook her head and said, “Nope.” Then got up from the table.

“Charlotte! You can’t leave now. It’s the feast time! We can do fertility stuff if you want!” Henry called.

“Ray is in a little toga with wings! A LINE HAS BEEN CROSSED!” Truth be told, she was filled up with emotion from everything that had taken place. She just needed to breathe for a moment. Did she wanna see Ray in a toga? Absolutely the entire heck not. But... she was never gonna say that she wasn’t 100% against “doing fertility stuff” with her boys. She blushed, glad that none of them could hear her thoughts.

[chaniters]

Regina

Cyrus and a friend spend an entire day with Regina at the farm (Pre HB). Spoilers about basically everything book 1. 

Trigger: Death. ___________________________________

“Why do you need so many tests?” you ask as she extracts blood once again.

“You ask so many questions, sweetie. Aren’t you the most curious little bird in our nest?”

“I am not a bird,” you say with some certainty to the fact. 

“Oh haha… I forget how literal you all are” she says approaching your counterpart, taking blood from his arm as well. 

“I can pretend to be a bird if you like,” he says, proceeding to smile.

“Won’t be necessary darling. Now follow me, chop-chop you two. We’ll be spending the whole day together, your handler’s gone on vacations, and you’re with me for the weekend.

“What’s next?” he asks. 

“Well let’s see… First, we head over to the gym for your judo training, then the X-ray, and there’s some recreation time and snacks after that. Right after that we move on to echography, MRI and then you’re both scheduled for your monthly electroencephalograms.” she sighs “I’m sorry, it’s a test heavy day, but I’ll make it up to you two somehow...”

“It’s fine.” you both say in unison.

“That’s my boys” she smiles warmly, before leading the way as you follow in closely behind. 

The facility is huge, and there are tons of people going in different directions. You and your counterpart are both wearing completely white jumpers, like almost everyone else in here… except for the handlers who always wear black.

Regina’s a lone exception though since she gets to wear whatever she wants. She’s got a blue power suit that fits her like a glove as she guides you through in between her meetings. It’s pretty rare that she’d take the time to focus on two random young ones like you two, so you can call yourselves lucky. 

It all goes exceptionally well, as she cheers at every one of your achievements, whether they are large or small during the combat training, even cracking some jokes with the trainer who seems quite tense to have her here. 

The day goes exceptionally well, as the tests go on one after another. 

“This will be an adventure for you both! Just pretend you’re going to explore a cave, deep under the earth” she says as they lay you down to start your MRI tests.

You both follow her instructions, excited to go into this imaginary cave. 

Finally, you reach the electroencephalograms part, and doctors begin attaching the electrodes to your heads.

“Do we get to choose the movie?” you ask

“Can we?” he asks as well.

“Well I’m afraid that’s not allowed for you to choose, it’d mess up the results dear,” she says softly. 

“Aww,” you both say looking down. 

Oddly enough, she gives you both a soft look and then finally speaks again.

“Oh what the heck… I told you I would make it up, right? We can break the rule just this once?” she says smiling brightly. “You both get to choose our own movie! It doesn’t even have to be the same one! We’ve got more tv-sets!”

411 and you look at each other with mirrored grins. This is too good.

And so you get to watch your favorite movies again, laughing as they go on, while she stays by the monitors watching the electrode readings, taking some notes and making the occasional comment on what’s happening on the screen about your movie. 

It’s probably the happiest day of your lives. 

The movie ends, and the electrodes are pulled out.

“Well, that was fun, wasn’t it?” she asks

“Yes! Thank you” you both say

“Now, this is a special day for you two,” she says as a lab assistant brings her some results. 

“It is?” 411 asks.

“Yes. We’re about to see if you’re ready for the next stage.”

“I’m ready” you state firmly”

“And I’m ready too!”

“It’s not that simple dearies. That’s why we need to have so many tests. We can’t let just everyone get to the next stage, can we?”

“Ahh” you nod in understanding. 

She goes on silently over the two piles of paper. One for you, one for 411. 

It takes a long while before she looks up to you. 

“Oh my… I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which ones do you want first?”

“The good news!” you say

“Alright” she starts turning at you. “The good news, 412, is that you’re ready for the next stage. You’re 100% perfect and passed every exam. You are exactly whom we intended you to be”

You can feel yourself blush heavily at the highest praise, from Regina herself nonetheless. There’s nothing that could make a newborn happier.

“And what are the bad news?” 411 asks.

She bites her lip. “Well dear… I’m afraid to tell you, you passed every test except one”

“Oh. Is that bad?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. Very bad. Look” she says extending a large picture. 

“See, this is part of the results from your MRI, and it’s detected a tiny tumor, very deep and hidden within your brain dear.”

“It looks really small,” 411 says

“Well it is now, yes, but our experts think it will grow. It will grow, and then you won’t be able to function correctly, you know?”

“That’s bad,” he says. “What can we do?”

“That’s the thing, there’s not much to do my love. We can’t really extract it or do anything to treat it. You’re not ready for the next phase”

“Oh,” he says, crushed. His thoughts are taken down, as if he was falling off a cliff, with all hopes crushed. You can see tears in your eyes, as he starts whimpering.

“I’m sorry!” he says crying

“Come on darling, these things happen and it’s nobodies fault. Don’t be sad please” she adds giving him a pat on his back, which helps him calm down a bit.

“What… am I going to do?” 

“Well, I was going to get there. You can’t get to the next phase as you are right now, so what do we do?”

“We try again, and never give up” he says, repeating a taught answer. 

“That’s right. We never, ever give up here at the Special Directive. We’re going to make you go back, back into the matrix dear, and you’ll be reformed, and remade, until you are perfect as the rest of your siblings.”

“T… thank you, miss Regina!” he stutters with emotion.

She smiles softly, before calling one of the handlers over her intercom, before turning to you.

“412, say goodbye to 411, and thank him for his service to the US government”

“Thank you, 411, for being a loyal newborn of our great nation. May the Matrix bring you to perfection” you say reciting the lines you were taught. There is a sense of finality to it. 411’s always been with you, he was assigned as the other part of your pair, and it’s going to take time to adjust to not having him around.  

“Thank you 412! I head back to the Matrix, loyal, and thankful for being given the opportunity to serve” he recites his answer as well, smiling overjoyed.

“Now, 412, please come over here. As you know, no one can see the Matrix until they reach the final phase” she says with a hand to your shoulder, guiding you to a seat. A handler approaches, in all black, putting a blindfold and a headset on your ears, making it all fall silent, except for the buzzing noise of the mind-dampener always at the back of your brain

You shift on your seat nervously. You want to see the matrix, but you’re forbidden to do so, and you’re a loyal newborn. You won’t…

The blindfold moves to the side slightly, uncovering your left eye. 

You didn’t mean to, but it just happened… 

You open your eye, turning to them to say something so they can adjust it back… When you see 411, standing with a similar blindfold, blissful expression on his face, as the handler points a loaded gun at him, removing the safety from a few steps away. 

You want to avert your gaze, but you can’t. Regina’s lips move, and you can read them. She’s telling the handler to do it. 

The gun goes off, and 411’s head jumps backward, blood on his forehead… before he just falls limp to the ground. 

Dead. You know what dead is, they taught you. 

The handler takes him away, and a couple of others begin cleaning the blood.

You quickly set up your blindfold straight so they won’t notice you saw anything.

It takes an eternity before Regina comes to you, removing your blindfold, thanking you for being such a patient newborn. She takes you back to the dorms, telling you she’ll be sending your new paired newborn soon so you won’t be alone. You take your dinner and then head to your bed, your mind racing as the images of what you saw keep repeating on your mind.

What if you fail an exam tomorrow? What if you’re not perfect? What if you have a tumor, like 411 did? What then?

You can’t allow that. You have to be perfect. 

Your life depends on it. 

____________________________________________________

My fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[kamekamelea]

sailing home once and for all

hi, @disruptedvice! this my fic for you for the @b99fandomevents challenge - not sure if that’s what you had in mind giving the prompt “ocean/sea imagery or theme“ but I hope you enjoy it anyway! :) 

Huge THANK YOU goes to @amydancepants-peralta, this fic wouldn’t have turn out the way it did if it wasn’t for your input and all your priceless help❤ ❤ ❤ also, thanks @b99peraltiago for letting me rant about this thing 😊💕 I’m very happy I could participate in this awesome event so thanks @elsaclack and @startofamoment for setting it up! 

it’s a bit long and I’m posting only a small piece of it on tumblr, so I invite you to read the whole thing HERE on ao3

Summary: In the universe where Jake is a sailor from New York, he finds himself coming back home to this one special girl - detective Amy Santiago.

~~~*~~~

“Jake, you’re twisting it in a weird angle!”

Meet Amy. Amy Santiago, to be precise, a young detective from New York, aspiring to be the youngest Captain in the history of the NYPD: currently worrying about her injured friend.

“Title of your sex tape!”

And this is said friend, or best friend as he likes to point out to her on various occasions, Jake Peralta, a young sailor from New York: currently on a medical leave because of a nasty bullet wound in his leg. 

“Ugh, just let me help you get out of the car!”  

There are many reasons for Amy’s irritation in that particular moment. First of all, she’s a bundle of nerves because they’re just about to enter her party, where she’s about to celebrate her recent promotion in the ranks of the NYPD - she’s a detective now. Secondly, she’s going to party with her boss, the one and only Captain Raymond Holt - a true hero and her mentor, and that’s why she has to try her hardest not to make a fool of herself tonight. Which also means she shouldn’t drink any alcohol, because according to her friends (or Jake’s rather, given the fact that it is Gina’s observation) Amy drinks by the rules of a certain scale, making her more capable of embarrassing herself with every drink she takes. And if she can’t drink, it means it’s going to be extra hard to calm down her nerves. 

And there is one more reason for Amy Santiago to be nervous, though she’s not willing to admit it, even in the back of her mind. And the reason is her best friend Jake meeting her boyfriend Teddy tonight. The only part of Amy Santiago aware of such musings is her gut, and her gut is telling her this is not going to go smoothly.

First and foremost though, Amy Santiago is irritated because Jake Peralta is not willing to cooperate in the complicated procedure of getting him out of her car. Why complicated? Oh, because his leg is injured, after he’s been shot in the thigh. By her. A month ago.

“Ames, there’s no need for you to babysit me. I’m totally capable of getting out of the car by myself, I’m a grown man!” Even though he means it as a scolding, the goofy grin his giant mouth forms betrays his true mood.

“Jake, we’re going to be late and you know how much I hate being late! And it’s my party!”

“Amy, your party doesn’t start in the next half an hour. How on earth can we be late?”

“I’m late according to my plan, I was supposed to be there an hour early just to make sure nobody gets there before me.”

“You’re a dorky weirdo, Amy Santiago, you know that?”

“Yeah, you tell me that like twice a day. Now give me your hand and pull yourself up!” She’s using her most reprimanding voice on him, despite learning a long time ago that it had absolutely zero affect on him. He responds with a chuckle at her exasperation - demonstrating how much he thinks she’s exaggerating - making her roll her eyes in annoyance.

“I can see your leg is healing well, Peralta.” Holt’s smooth voice fits well the elegant way he points at Jake’s leg and Amy sighs in contentment, the awareness of her being worthy enough of having such a superb guest at her promotion party overflowing her.

“It would heal much better if you’d got me that medal you promised me, Sir.” 

“I told you already there is no chance for you to get a medal. The procedures of being a liaison for the NYPD - the documents CYX-4756-RW and CYX-4758-RW to be precise - state clearly that in this particular situation there is no legal basis for you to get an official NYPD commendation for your service. I get how inequitable it may seem, but these are the rules and they need to be followed.”

She wishes she could admire for a little longer the way Raymond recitates the NYPD procedures with such ease, but of course Jake had to ruin this blissful moment for her. 

“Jake knows all of it, Sir, he’s only joking… Sir.” Amy makes a weird bow with her head but recollects herself, seeing the puzzled look on Holt’s face and an amused one on Jake’s.

“I see. People often use humour to obliterate a trauma they’re dealing with. And I can only imagine how hard it is to overcome such a traumatic experience of being shot by a partner and a friend.”

There it is, that goofy smile on Jake’s face as he’s nodding his head vigorously hearing Captain’s words and sensing an opportunity to tease Amy.

“Oh, Sir, you have no idea-” He’s about to get into the mocking thing but Amy decides not to let him, mumbling polite apologies in Holt’s direction, as she grabs Jake’s arm in order to pull him somewhere he’s not able to embarrass her in front of her authority figure.

“Hey, Santiago! That wasn’t part of the deal! You said I can make as much fun of you for shooting me as I please! And I please a lot!”

“I forgot to mention this doesn’t apply to my boss!”

“You make a whole lot of terms for a person who shot me! Shouldn’t it be the other way round?” The playful tone indicates Jake’s not really angry with her, and for n-th time this last month Amy wonders how is this possible.

Actually, this is one of the things she admires the most in Jake Peralta - his absolute lack of capability of bearing a grudge against anybody. Though, truth be told, in the course of the last year she’s known Peralta, she’s become aware of his many assets. For instance, his integrity - she knows for a fact that there were countless occasions in his life when he’s been offered to have some profit by committing some kind of crime, but he never caved in. Also, his kindness - she’s been a witness of it but also the receiver, so many times. He’s also very smart, even if it’s in his own adorable way. Though the detective in her has to admit that he’s incredibly good at connecting the dots, when it comes to solving cases.  

And he makes her laugh. A lot.

“What do you say I buy you a beer as a remedy?” She sighs in resignation, succumbing to his goofy charms.

~READ REST ON AO3~

[codswalloping]

End of year fic meme time!

Total number of completed stories: 16

Total word count: 137,549. To put this in perspective, the most words I’ve ever posted in a year before was 51,500 or so, back in 2011 when I was unemployed and got crazy into BBC Sherlock. So...yes, this has been A YEAR.

Fandom Breakdown: 12 Schitt’s Creek, 2 Score: A Hockey Musical, 2 Watchmaker of Filigree Street

Overall Thoughts: Well! So, I’m still not too old to get kidnapped by plot bunnies and dragged away into a fandom cave of unexpected and surpassing depth, then? Who knew!

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? Clearly more, since I had no intention whatsoever of writing ANY.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? I mean, all of it, but even after I got heavily into Schitt’s Creek fandom I don’t think I would have imagined I’d be writing Score: A Hockey Musical fic in my very wildest hare-brained imaginings

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Well, some, kind of. I guess it felt a little risky writing kink and supernatural AUs in a fandom that’s largely composed of canon-compliant fluff. But honestly, a lot of what I write is still my usual - I’m mainly into the same kinks as I was ten years ago and also still addicted to my same basic brand of h/c.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? My main goal after I finish a writing project is usually “don’t start anything else, it’s far too consuming and you have no time for this,” but I keep failing at that. I guess it has occurred to me that maybe it’s time for me to try again to write a YA novel for reals, but IDK, I know far too much about the publishing biz to believe that it would really be either profitable or fun even if I were to succeed. 

From my past year of writing, what was...

My best story of this year: Okay, maybe it’s only because I just finished it and I’m in loooooove, but I’m awfully proud of Boyfriends. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written, and it’s an A/B/O consensual gangbang with adolescent awkwardness, pining, and extended thematic references to Edith Wharton. Based loosely on the worst musical I have ever seen. Brain, what, why, how did this happen, wtf. I had no plans to write it and didn’t know where it was headed when I started and I’m just so amused and in love with the whole enterprise. Also MOOOOOSE. <3

My most popular story of this year: The Visit, in which Patrick’s high school BFF comes for a weekend and creates havoc. My buddy Pun came up with the idea for this story, which wasn’t something I’d ever have thought of on my own, and I’m so pleased I was able to write it for her. It’s not my own fave, but I do like it a lot.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I hesitate to say any of them, because I feel incredibly appreciated by Schitt’s Creek fandom and have zero complaints whatsoever. I guess I was a little surprised that Ice Cold Heat, my iceplay kink PWP, didn’t go over better than it did, but A) it got kind of buried on the last page of Frozen Over fics when I posted it and B) it’s a kink that maybe a lot of people don’t get or don’t think is hot? The people who enjoyed it REALLY seemed to enjoy it, though, so I don’t feel too badly for it.

Story with the single sexiest moment: Hmmm. I wrote a ton of porn this year, but unfortunately I almost never find my own writing very sexy after I’ve posted it, so I don’t really know. Okay, in Helpless (the shaving fic) I do still really love the moment when Patrick tips up his chin to expose his throat and realizes that the combo of intimacy + vulnerability + David’s hand on his thigh is making him hard. Sure, I’ll go with that.

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: I mean, I wrote an a/b/o gangbang fic for a wholesome teen musical canon. I am suitably ashamed of myself, yes. I also wrote tentacle fic for a small and sweet book fandom with a canonical mechanical octopus that had NO TENTACLE FIC ON AO3 YET but if that’s wrong, I really don’t want to be right.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I guess I had to do some hard thinking about David and Patrick and how they’d each approach kink and why when I wrote Control, sort of? It got a lot more charactery than I’d planned on when I started it, I know that much.

Hardest story to write: Without a doubt, Wolf in Progress. Damn, I nearly gave up on that one so many times, and I’m still not that happy with how it came out. It has, like, Plot and Action and stuff. I don’t know what came over me; I was so out of my comfort zone.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Also Wolf in Progress. There’s some...stuff in there, yeah.

In conclusion: Damn, son. Look at me doing fandom again, at my age. It’s been an unbelievable joy to meet all these awesome new folks this year, and all this writing has been KEY as an escape valve for my life, you don’t even know. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has awesomely read and commented on my stuff and played with me on tumblr and discord and twitter and at RL meetups this year. I appreciate the FUCK out of you. <3

Now, everyone else should fill this out too, I wanna see your answers, K?

[danetobelieve]

Come Together || Penelope and Winston

Winston was having a really shit week. They were almost four animal attacks in, they had discovered that there were people in White Crest, people like Ricky, who they had known for years and years. People they trusted. And for some reason they had a mouthful of what could have very easily been mistaken for a shark’s teeth. Their hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that the veins in their hands bulged and they took the left turn to Pen’s house. They needed to talk to someone. Talk to someone that they could trust. Parking poorly, they jumped straight out of their car and stormed to the front door. They might’ve been shaking gently from the shock of it all or they might just be cold. They hadn’t exactly stayed long enough to get a jacket when they’d spoken with Ricky and spotted their mouthful of teeth. “Pen!” they shouted, wrapping loudly on the door and watching the door shake in the frame but not budge, “Pen please let me in, it’s really cold and I’ve had a really shitty time.” They’d almost died alongside Skylar, Skylar had fucked up teeth and here they were discovering that the dude they lived with was one of them. What the fuck was up with them only eating fish and meat? They hadn’t stayed long enough to find out. “Pen open the fucking door?!” 

Where Winston’s week had been...lackluster, Penelope’s had been rather profitable with the monsters she’d brought in. It had started with Ereich, and other high money monsters had followed. She brought each one dutifully back to the Ring, not sparing them too much of a second thought when she was primarily certain their moral alignments were ones that deserved to be brought to judgment via involuntary fighting for the rest of their lives. Not that she had the most moral alignment, but she didn’t go around murdering without cause. Either way, it seemed that one of them had been carrying a little hitchhiker on their way back to White Crest, and now Nell was bent on all fours underneath the kitchen table desperately trying to trap the seemingly harmless bug flitting around the room. Then Winston’s voice came. Her head came up far too fast in her surprise, and a loud curse followed. “Shit!” As she cradled her head, she made her best attempts to stall for time. “Uhhh, one sec! I’m just uh- changing!” Then again under her breath, “Get back here you little shit. I’m gonna squish you like the bug you are.”

Winston was cold. They’d gotten soaked in the Cave of Voices and then they heard the thunder rumble in the background and rolled their eyes. Taking their glasses off, they polished them vigorously before taking a seat on Penelope’s front door step. Glancing at their phone, they considered texting Skylar to ask them some questions about WHAT THE FUCK was going on. But they ultimately decided against that. Right now they just needed to relax and be around someone who wasn’t about to have a mouthful of teeth that they hadn’t had the night before. Pen and Winston had literally lost teeth together, they’d been friends while their teeth were falling out and Pen had even helped Winston pull out their first loose tooth. They’d been so impressed by it all. “Ugh, hurry uppppppppp!” Winston banged the back of their head gently on the door, too lazy to reach around to knock with their knuckles and unconcerned by the way it might appear. After all what was the point of your childhood best friend moving back into town if you couldn’t treat them like that. “I’m going to get Abby or Bea to cut me a key so I don’t have to wait for your lazy ass to get dressed.” It was getting close to sundown and Winston honestly couldn’t help but wonder why the fuck they were like this. “Hurry up!!!!”

Penelope could tell that Winston was entirely not pleased with having been made to wait, and though it was something of a funny thing to be nostalgic for— she was glad that it still seemed they had no problem with acting like they owed every single minute of her life. Which...wasn’t entirely inaccurate. They were always the person she was sure to make time for. After all, it was a little difficult to ignore the person you’d been potty trained alongside, and Winston was arguably one of the pillars of Nell’s otherwise somewhat chaotic life. “I’m trying— just- hang on!” Her somewhat frantic tone was rather unmistakeable, and no doubt perhaps a little intense for simply changing. And why would she be changing in the entryway of her home anyway? “No! No- don’t ask them! I’ll just make you a key myself!” With a loud thud she finally managed to get a jar over the pesky little Adze, trapping it against the table. For a moment she left it there, taking pity on Winston to go and open the door, noticeably short of breath. “Sorry, I uhhh- couldn’t decide what to wear.” 

After a little longer then they would’ve really liked to have waited, Winston felt the door open. Whilst they were still leaning against it. Falling backwards wasn’t ideal, but at least they had Penelope’s feet to cushion their fall. “Hey, hey, hey,” they said with a sigh, “a little warning next time, my brains the only thing I’ve got going for me.” Especially now. Standing, they looked her in the eye. Pausing for a moment before raising an eyebrow at Penelope, Winston strode into her home. “Nice of you to finally let me in…” “Getting dressed isn’t that hard …” they squinted at Penelope and frowned gently before adjusting their glasses thoughtfully, “Are you out of breath? I’m the one who is meant to be asthmatic. You’ve not started smoking have you?” They paused for a moment longer and strode towards the table, intent on taking a seat. “You don’t have to impress me, I know I’m important but I don’t care what you wear, I remember when you wore overalls and a fedora for months on end.” 

“Shit” Penelope cursed again as Winston fell, and she did her best to try and help them up. “Are you alright?” was her first reflexive question. Followed by, “What were you doing? Trying to blow my house and front door down by standing so close?” Nevertheless she gave their head a soft side-swipe, a joking little hit. “That big ol’ noggin of your’s. Making real good use of it these days with all your coffee fetching.” Penelope had spent years keeping Winston in the dark of her biggest secret, though she’d come close to telling them many a time when it came to her abilities. She felt a bit guilty about leaving them in the dark, but really it would only make them safer by not knowing. But now, with an Azde inside an upside down jar on her kitchen table just behind her, she was doing her best to act natural. “What? Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s hard to get in and out of those clothes. No I haven’t started smoking. Apart from...the devil’s lettuce I got you on a while ago,” she teased, fondly remembering the first time she’d introduced them to weed. “Yes, well— I stand by that look. It was couture to nine-year-old me. Maybe I just like looking decent, though.”

“I’m fine,” Winston replied brushing off their friend’s attempt to be doting on them. It was kind but unnecessary. “Don’t be so dramatic, and my head isn’t any bigger then yours.” They’d insisted on measuring diameter of head. “It is a means to an end,” Winston replied with a shake of their head, “besides they’ve got me doing other stuff too, it’s all worth it.” They were working towards something greater then their current standing. But all the same, something seemed off with Penelope. “What?” they replied, confused, “When have you ever had problems getting in and out of clothes? Isn’t that like a basic function that you could more or less handle even at the age of three…?” They rolled their eyes and shrugged. “You only get to be young once, but those days are behind me, I’m a reformed man.” They raised an eyebrow and shook their head. “You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had…” They weren’t even going to be able to tell their friend the whole truth. Despite everything that was worrying them about their friend and their living situation, Ricky had asked them to keep it to themselves and Winston was determined not to let him down. 

“Mmm, not so sure about that,” Penelope continued to tease as she eyed their head, always finding amusement when it came to poking a bit of fun at Winston. “I still think the measuring tape could have been faulty.” But she nodded along dutifully to Winston’s words, trying to be as supportive of a friend as she could be. “Okay well if they’re still having you fetch coffee in three months, tell me. ‘Cause I’ll come convince them to promote you.” Through all her words though, she kept glancing towards the table that had the Azde loudly buzzing around the jar, her anxiety mounting as it somehow managed to move said jar an inch towards the edge, as if it were trying to escape. “Look- sometimes clothes get the jump on you, alright?” It didn’t make sense even for her, but it was hard to form good comebacks when she was trying to keep a bloodsucking bug/vampire from getting loose. “What happened?” she asked, trying her best to give them her full attention, but failing a bit in her anxiety about the casual monster on her kitchen table.

“Of course you’re not sure about that, but it isn’t your head, it’s my head and I’m sure it’s fine. I’m okay you don’t need to worry about me.” Pausing for a moment, they raised an eyebrow. “How could a measuring tape be faulty?” Winston asked semi exasperated by their friends apparent lack of intelligence. “I don’t need you or anyone else to save me from my co-workers, believe me when I say that I have this under control. Besides coffee isn’t the only thing that I do. Also your brand of convincing might get my fired.” Winston could hear a loud whirring noise, but assumed that it was the wind or something. “My clothes have never got the better of me,” Winston retorted, “maybe you’re just broken?” They paused for a moment and scratched their head. “I think it was an animal attack of some kind? But I can’t really be sure to be perfectly honest. It all happened really fast, but everythings been weird. Like things haven’t been their normal weird, but weird weird, y’know…”

“I’d like to think I have some ownership over your head at this point,” Nell joked as best she could with the worry of the adze still in the back of her mind. “It’s like- just part of being friends since we were in pull-ups.” Perhaps she would have pushed the matter of Winston getting coffee further if her head hadn’t whipped around at the loud shattering of glass. The Adze had finally managed to knock itself off the table. “Fuck!” she cursed loudly, jumping into action by grabbing the nearest bit of newspaper to create a makeshift fly swatter, looking around wildly for the pesky little bugger. Meanwhile, she was only thinking about how this would not doubt be added to Winston’s list of weird weird things happening around town. “What uh- what kind of animal?” she tried her best to pretend as if she wasn't manically hunting a bug, and if she’d been less focused on the bug, she would have been amused to hear the clueless ramblings of a human refusing to believe what the weirdness in White Crest was.

“I will literally have it put into my will that you don’t get any part of my head at any point,” Winston retorted with a shake of their head. But then Penelope was off. Which in itself wasn’t weird. Penelope seemed to be categorically incapable of not constantly moving. But what was weird here was more what Penelope appeared to be doing. Winston wasn’t sure they understood. “Uh, hey,” they said leaning forward as they watched Penelope roll up a newspaper, “are you okay?” Maybe that was the buzzing. Was there a bug in here? Winston wasn’t sure why Penelope was making such a big deal about it. It was just a bug. “I don’t know what kind of animal it was,” Winston admitted, “I can’t really go into the specifics but there have been a load of weird things happening. Animals that breath fire, animals with red eyes, I even think I was hallucinating the other evening.” 

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Nell said in a decidedly not fine tone. She looked like a cat ready to pounce, her eyes trailing the azde as it flew about the room. But then— she lost it. “Shit, did you see where it went? Do you see it flying around anywhere?” Honestly she was lucky the bug vampire hadn’t shifted into it’s humanoid form when she had trapped, but she had a feeling that was due to the light streaming into the kitchen. However if it managed to find a nice, shadowy place...The thought made her search more frantically. “Right- weird animal,” she repeated, absolutely barely listening at this point. She had to make sure she got this azde before it could put Winston in danger. 

“Fine as in; fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional?” Winston asked teasingly. She seemed to be on high alert, almost uncharacteristically focussed on this bug that was flying around. Come to think of it, the bug looked a little odd. Winston hadn’t seen any insects that oddly shaped before and they weren’t sure what it was. Looking around, Winston spotted it perched on top of the frame of the doorway. Reaching into the cupboard, they pulled down two mugs and began making coffee in Pen’s kitchen as if this were nothing more then another normal day, definitely not as if they weren’t in someone elses kitchen. “I can tell you about this later if you’d rather catch whatever bug thing that is…?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. Except those are all words I’d use to describe yourself,” Penelope said in between her grunts of jumping and trying to catch this cursed Adze. She needed to get the damn thing back under wraps before Winston saw something off about it. Though, perhaps she could just play dumb if they did notice anything strange. This would all be much easier if she could use her magic in front of her friend. “No, no! I’m...listening!” Between her words, she tried to jump and hit the doorframe, a failed attempt to smash the pesky vermin. But she really did want to be there for Winston’s story, it was just a bit difficult to be when there was a blood-sucking bug flying around. “The animal!” she prompted, as if it were proof she could focus enough for their words.

“Just because they apply to me doesn’t mean that they do not also apply to you, had you ever considered that smart ass?” Winston smirked gently at their retort. Pausing they watched interested as she attempted to squash it, but merely succeeded in slapping the door frame. “Do you want a hand?” they asked somewhat concerned that Penelope wasn’t capable of managing this on her own. Which seemed odd, she’d always been the more athletic of the two of them. “It was just there have been some weird stuff going on, I ran into two dogs that were feral, it looked like one of them was breathing fire but y’know that’s obviously not happening and the other one had bright red eyes….” they swallowed and shrugged, “But that’s gotta be rabies right?”

“If I’m such a smart ass I’ve probably considered everything,” Penelope retorted back, enjoying their effortless back and forth banter. It seemed even when she was driving herself crazy trying to catch a little monster, their friendship was easy enough to maintain. “Uhhhh…” Penelope hesitated, juggling Winston helping catch a potentially dangerous creature against said creature escaping. “Maybe in a bit. Give me a few more chances— don’t give up on me now.” A moment later, Nell was crouched by the table where the bug had landed once more, as if she were trying to sneak up on it. Her voice had dropped to a hushed tone as she spoke to Winston, not wanting to blow her cover. “I mean- weirder things have happened around here, haven’t they? It could be rabies I guess…” She never wanted to lie to Winston, but it was difficult toeing the line with them and the supernatural. 

“I would’ve hoped that you would have considered everything, but when you’ve been friends with someone since diapers then you begin to get to know them almost too well, and I know that you definitely have not considered this.” Winston wasn’t about to take any back chat from their oldest friend. “I’ll try not to give up on you, but there is only so much failure I can take before I feel the need to intervene.” They paused and shrugged. Honestly there was almost too much going on for them to really focus on, well the weirder things that were going on. They were trying to prioritise where they focussed their attention. “Have they? I feel like everyone constantly talks about how weird this town is and I only really started to notice how weird it was when all of this began.” They sighed and shrugged. “I don’t think it was rabies, I’m just trying to convince myself that it was indeed rabies so that I don’t know what it actually was.”

At this point, Nell had forgotten exactly what she was supposed to be considering— especially while she was thoroughly distracted with trying to finish the bug-vampire. But that didn’t stop her from once again going to tease Winston, enjoying their continued back and forth as always. “Yeah- but have you considered I remember exactly how long it took for you to be potty trained. Or I could always lie about it and people would believe me since I’m so believable- and I’ve known you forever.” For a moment, Nell didn’t reply, holding up a single finger as if she were signalling Winston to hold, intent on her prey. And then all at once she pounced, and loudly exclaimed “HA! Got him!” And indeed, she had managed to finally squish the supernatural vermin. “God- finally. I was about to burn the whole house down.” But the death of the Azde meant that she could finally focus on Winston’s words. “Well...I guess it’s been exceptionally weirder lately. Maybe that’s what you’re noticing?” Going out on the smallest of limbs, she decided to test the waters for a moment. “I don’t really think it was rabies either…”

“That is not something that I had considered, however my counter point would be that I have photos of you dressed in costumes that you absolutely would not want to get onto the internet, I also have the ability to create enough accounts on a repeating algorithm to make your fifth grade halloween costume go viral,” Winston replied with a very sweet smile as they adjusted their glasses. They watched as Nell finally managed to catch the bug. They weren’t sure why they were trying to catch it and not, y’know just kill it. But it was a bug. Hardly THAT important. “You’re right, it has been exceptionally weird and I don’t think that it was rabies either, at first I was able to convince myself that it might be but the more I think about it, well it seems unlikely. Rabies also doesn’t behave in that way. At least not from my research.” 

At the first mention of mortifying costumes, Nell thought Winston was talking about her gymnastics ones. She’d loved the physicality of the sport, but the costumes...they were always a big much for her. But as he mentioned fifth grade Halloween she pointed a threatening finger at him. “You wouldn’t. I’ll tell everyone about the time your head got stuck in between the bars on the jungle gym ‘cause it’s just that big. Amongst other much more horrible things that I’ll only let you find out secondhand.” She wiped the remnants of the dead Azde off her hand, making a bit of face as it came away onto the towel. “Maybe it’s just a different breed of dog.” Was there any harm in nudging him in the right direction?

[devinclaire]

Eternal Spring in the Time of Dreams: Libra Full Moon Horoscopes

The Full Moon rises on the same day that the Sun travels into Aries this year. Here in the Northern Hemisphere we welcome Spring, in the Southern Hemisphere they celebrate the transition into Autumn. Whichever hemisphere you frequent, expect things to leave your life quickly during the two week period after the Full Moon.

However, don’t expect them to be gone for good. Mercury Retrograde energy still lingers, and has a way of repeating situations bringing them closer to closure. Don’t be discouraged if you’re hoping to leave a particular debacle, you’re still getting to your destination.

The universe has a way of letting important things happen gradually so we’re fully prepared when the moment arrives. Also, we have the unique experience of viewing two Full Moons in Libra this year. The second one happening after Mercury Retrograde has ended.

The energy of the second Libra Full Moon will have some nice frequency to get rid of what really needs to go. With your certainty of what you want out by the time you get to your second Libra Full Moon ritual, you may be surprised to see where you find yourself come summer. It will look nothing like this current situation.

Also, let’s take advantage of this Mercury Retrograde energy to create a new ritual around the Libra Full Moon. Libra is the sign of marriage, partnership, and best friends. While the energy of the Libra Full Moon will bring focus to these relationships in your life, I vote that we also take this opportunity to commit to ourselves.

Under the Full Moon in Libra, marry yourself. Commit to love yourself in sickness and in health, and that you’ll provide your precious self the upmost care in either situation. The next Libra Full Moon coming up in April is time to think about with who you want to couple. The energy will be better to do so with Mercury moving forward again.

This doesn’t mean that you’re blind to others hurts, needs, and wants in the world. With the Sun moving right next to Chiron your eyes will be wide open to your own wounds and the wounds of others.

There’s a mutual relationship going on here- the more you tend to your own pain, by truly caring for yourself, it gives you the strength to see the pain of others. When you care for the container your soul lives in, it doesn’t crack, keeping bad energy from seeping in. When you can keep safe boundaries you can truly be of service. This comes from radical self-care.

Start with this, the next time you’re trying to make a decision, ask yourself by starting with, “My beloved…” feel how your body swoons at such tenderness.

Finally, it’s the astrological New Year! The Sun moves into Aries, the first sign of the zodiac. Aries being the sign of the self, makes it’s a great time to voice what you long for and desire. Usually Aries season is also a nice time to change your look, perhaps get a haircut, but I would wait until Taurus season this year with the Mercury Retrograde energy behind us.

Now, on to the horoscopes! Read your Sun sign and your Rising sign.  

Aries- Happy birthday! This is your season to celebrate! Even if you’re an Aries rising rather than an Aries Sun, celebrate the Sun crossing over your Ascendant, it also only happens once a year. Remember you are meant to shine during this time, even if it doesn’t feel that way at first. You’re a warrior and you’ve been wounded in the battle of life many times. The memories of these difficulties may be haunting you during a time when you feel like you should be having fun. It may be scary, but muster up the courage to feel into the pain, don’t think you have to do this alone, there is strength in numbers. Meet with friends to talk it out. When you sit with the uncomfortable feelings, this is when they truly begin to subside. This makes the celebration of the Sun returning to exact spot it shined when you were born much sweeter.

Taurus- You’re feeling the need to make a lot of changes but you’re a little frightened by how much you’ll stick out from the crowd after the process is over. You’re not sure if you’re ready for this kind of attention. Also, there are those in your life who might be unhappy with your changes. They like the old version of you just fine. What they don’t understand is that you are sitting on some energy that is so powerful, it will burn you up if you don’t use it toward the higher version of yourself. You’re going to change for your higher good whether they like it or not. If you needed validation, know you’re going in the right direction and making changes will lead to delightful surprises.

Gemini- You’re letting go of things that don’t honor the person you’re becoming. You’re saying good-bye to the things that no longer bring you joy. You’re good at making pro and con lists of things, seeing all sides. You’re good at saying, “Well, it’s really not that bad, this situation has its purpose,” but if this thing doesn’t light you up, like really light you up, then you need to let it go as you travel closer towards your passions. It will be an easy release, this Full Moon flows well with your intentions.

Cancer- What a lovely Full Moon for you to snuggle up under the covers. You are ruled by the Moon, and with the Full Moon taking place in your 4th House, the House also ruled by the Moon, it is possible that this is a very emotional time for you. Mercury Retrograde has brought some realizations to your attention that you’re attempting to grapple with at this time. You’re being incredibly brave. Also know that it is so important that you ground so deeply during this Full Moon that it feels like you’re burrowing yourself in the rich dirt that comes with the changing seasons. You’re doing this to get back in touch with your authentic self. Ditch anything that doesn’t honor this time of regrouping.

Leo- A great time for cathartic conversation if there ever was one. You’re often playing the role of empath, reflecting the feeling of others back to them, and performing the role they need the most in the moment. Now the Full Moon is shedding light on you to share your feelings. You’re given the space to speak about how you really feel, not how you’re supposed to feel. Not quite ready to give a speech on your own emotions?It also helps to write things out. Your dreams will be vivid, and you’ll be able to find the words to describe what happened the night before. If you’ve been working on a book, you’ll find a new found bolt of energy to finish your project.

Virgo- You may have a big check coming in as the Sun and the Moon go into places in your chart concerning profits. Also, now is a time to think about how what you value can be part of the healing in the world. Lately you may have found that you’ve been feeling pained from old experiences. Know that though this may feel awful, processing the experience, when you’re ready, will be a way that you provide healing for others. You’re going down the path of discovery first so others don’t have to do the same. This is a fabulous time to declutter and clear out space because come the New Moon in Aries better things are definitely coming in. Also take a hard look at your sense of self-worth. Make a commitment to marry yourself, and help yourself the way you always so selflessly help others.

Libra- Old pains around relationships that you thought had already cleared up may be rising from your soul for another glimpse. While you feel like you’ve done the work already, know that the releasing energy of this Full Moon is getting you ready for the incredibly powerful manifesting Libra New Moon in September of this year. Right now, your psychic tendencies are off the chart, and it’s perfectly fine if you’re craving a blanket and the couch with all this powerful energy. You can still release demons from under the covers. 

Scorpio- You’ll be doing a Full Moon ritual because you understand the importance of practice and pattern to create space in the psyche to go to deep places that can’t always be accessed with the snap of a finger. This is also a good time to pick up an old ritual that you let fall by the wayside. It will be truly transformational. This is a time of intense healing for you. Remember, step by step, day by day, you will get there. While you’d rather be casting incantations in a cave somewhere, realize healing needs to happen in the everyday spaces, until your reality is as witchy as you want it.

Sagittarius- If you’ve been meaning to attend that Full Moon Circle on the beach hosted by the owners of that cute occult bookstore you like to visit, this is the Full Moon to do it. This is a great time to join new groups and make new friends. It’s nice to be around people who see you in a new light, especially if you feel like you’re running around a lot at work and you need something completely new. Actually maybe you’re in the process of letting go of the work you currently do to look for a new career path. It’s a good Moon to honor that transition energy.

Capricorn- Something in your career is taking off. At the moment it may feel bittersweet, you’re leaving behind the old version of you, and transition isn’t always easy. Also, while your career is taking off, you may feel like things at home aren’t quite right. Old history that you thought had been settled is popping back up. You’ve done what you can with this one, you talked about it, you did the responsible thing to come to a conclusion. This time, let the other members of this fiasco figure it out, right now you’re being called to a different stage.

Aquarius- Well, first and foremost, if you’re asked to go on a worldwide adventure for love, do it! Even if it’s Mercury Retrograde take the leap, make the plans! You’re getting very clear lines of psychic communication because you’re seeing with your heart, not thinking with your head. The descions you make now will be pivotal for the late summer. Sure, you may have trouble finding your keys, that happens with Mercury Retrograde, but the psychic understanding you have right now is priceless.

Pisces- Ever have a Tarot card that keeps popping up in readings and you wonder, “Why is this one always being pulled?” You rack your brain, and you just can’t quite figure out why it keeps appearing. Well, on this Full Moon, during Mercury Retrograde, on the same day as the Equinox, time will be slippery and secrets will begin to come out of the woodwork. Listen! This is juicy stuff! While the icky truth might not be as bad as situations you’ve been in before, you’ve evolved from those situations and these new sinister plots aren’t worth your valuable time. If you can’t fly the coop yet don’t despair. There are lessons to be learned here so you don’t have to deal with this situation again. What you can garner now is which direction the drama is pointing you towards as your true path.