#do he got da booty?

[adamsandgirl]

Oh he’s got a little bit of a dumpy

I hope he doesn’t shit his pants it would be very unfortunate to do it it in his white pants

[pedge-page]

I can imagine preggo wife literally talking and talking and talking in the middle of a movie and gets offended and leaves when Joel tells her to quiet down

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife : Yapper

notes: Oh I had fun writing this! no warnings (maybe some Fugitive and Raiders spoilers), Enjoy!

- - - -

Joel’s pretty excited for movie night. It’s one of the few films the two of you don’t argue over and can pretty much watch the entire way through without disruption.

Or at least, it used to be.

Joel settles against the couch armrest with his feet propped up, knees bent slightly so you have room to sit in front. He’s got any snack you could think of within an arm reach away, and he’s got the title on pause so you can scooch your fat booty and big belly comfortably. Usually takes about 15 minutes of squirming, smacking his chest to “fluff” it up, adding a pillow at his crotch, then taking it away because you like his hard cock there instead, elbow in his groin and then his knee, then you gotta get up to pee before starting the whole process over.

“OK Im ready!” You say after 15 minutes on the dot, snuggling close to him with the back of your head rested against the crook of his neck.

He finally hits play, and the Lucasfilm logo flashes across the screen. The tropical forest and ominous music plays as the familiar font of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark fade on to the screen.

“Joel. Joel. Hey Joel.” 

“Y-yes?”

“Did you know Indiana was named after George Lucas dog? Who also was the physical inspiration for chewy?” You ask  rhetorically. 

It takes him a second to understand you’re asking him a question. “What?”

“Chewbacca! From Star Wars!”

“Oh ok neat,” he says with some enthusiasm, but quick to end it and get back to watching the movie—

“Yeah also Sean Connery is also apparently—well guess how much older he is to Harrison Ford.”

“Um—I don’t—I don’t know.” Joel says slowly, watching as Indy carefully removes the sand from the pouch and weighs it to the gold idol.

“C’mon, guess!”

“I really don’t know, can we—“

“12 years older than Harrison in Last Crusade! My mom was like ‘WHAT no way’ and I was like ‘Yes way’ and she was like ‘He's his father and he's got all that white in his hair and receding hairline’ and I was like ‘Joel's only in his late 30s and he's got white in his beard.’”

Joel can’t hear a damn thing happening on screen except the shouts about hating a pet snake named Reggie. “Wha—“

“Not that you look anything like Sean Connery in Last Crusade. Maybe in like Bond —oof he was the hottest Bond. Plus you got like a receding beard-line with all the patches, I don’t know, but my mom was like ‘Ya know Joel's got more white hair lately since you've been pregnant’ and I was like ‘Nah uh’ and she was like ‘Ya huh’ and I was like ‘Huh I wonder why that is…?’ Anyway but nope only 12 years between him and Ford—“

Joel turns to look at you with a frown, a bit confused and amazed at how you have so much to say, right now, oblivious as ever. 

It doesn’t phase your rambling one bit: “—Like damn, but you know Harrison Ford has always been handsome. But like in the bad boy kind of way, not like handsome upstanding like Christopher Reeves? When I saw The Fugitive, I was like ‘oooohhhh I'll be his wife now’ hahaha! no no I’m sorry, he’s famous and I’m not so that’s why I married you, but that's such a fall film don't you think? Minus the murder and betrayal and fucking Dr Charles Nickles like was he British or not? He was in and out of an accent the whole time? Didn't make sense to me but yeah, it's just such a fall Cozy film.”

Joel looks back at the screen and realizes Marion is already being cornered by the Nazi creep: “Ah huh—honey—“

“OH! I Love her song! It’s kind of like Leia and Han’s from Empire except the last notes are different, like it goes do doooooo instead of da dat dada daaaaaaa, That’s just John William’s for ya, but you’d never notice they were so similar!”

Joel opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out as you continue:

“—Also I know you said my mom made good apple pie but I really wanna try to make it because I want you to like mine more, so I need you to get some apples and pie crust and butter and stuff from the store, I’ll make a list so you can get it. They said we need ground cinnamon but I think ours expired like 5 years ago so don’t forget that. And then I'm gonna tell you how to slice the apples since I can't handle sharp objects and then oh I need you to get the mixer from the top shelf and then you have to mix it all together and slice the top with like little heart patterns and then put it in the oven n stuff ‘cause it's hot and I don't wanna burn OH and that reminds me—!” 

“BABE!”

“Hmm? yes?” You ask with a innocent smile. 

“Let's try to be quiet and watch the movie ok?”

He offers a gentle smile and nods, pointing towards the TV again and settling to watch it with his beautiful wife.

His very very very unhappy wife. Your eyes haven’t left his, face now downturned in such a scowl, he should be shitting his pants.

You roll your jaw at him once, teeth grinding against one another with slitted, murderous eyes. Joel gulps, too afraid to glance back at you again. His eyes are wide staring at the commotion on the television but, now in your deadly silence, he can’t seen to focus on it at all. 

Instead of saying anything, you roll polly up to your feet, arms crossed over your chest defensively as you utter a loud “Hmph!” before storming away from the living room.

He’ll have to deal with groveling tomorrow morning when you might be a little more welcoming. But on the bright side, he’s got way more room to spread out on the couch and he can hear the movie much better now! 

......... 

He switches it off and runs upstairs to get on his knees by your side of the bed, begging for your forgiveness and promises of a Clyde's milkshake to go. 

- - - -

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[adorejungkook]

Baby Got Back!!

Synopsis; Jeon Jungkook has the fattest fucking crush on you meanwhile Jimin and Taehyung don’t find you too hard to look at either. Now Jungkook has to find a way to confess his feelings, maybe even show you,  before the other two find their ways into your pants during your “staycation”. 

Warnings; series, eventual (almost immediate) smut, pining, the boys are horny they talk a bit raunchy about you, big dick!jk (they call it small tho they're just bullying) ,first chapter is pretty tame, you canonically have a nice booty <3

chapter. 1 , 2, 3, 4 , 5

Jungkook hated it when you were around.

You were just so fucking nice, so pretty. He could barely think around you.

The best days were when you decided to let Jimin drag you to lunch along with him and the other two boys. 

“Wait, you’re really leaving us for a whole week? Whyyy,” Taehyung whined, leaning into your side, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer. They were all so comfortable with you, Jungkook had no idea how. He knew he’d combust if he was in his friends position, especially with the way you were running your fingers through his hair. 

Was it weird to wonder how you smelled right now?

“ Not even a whole week!” you say, giggling a bit when Tae groans at you pushing him off you a bit, “My parents really wanted me to come home for like three days, you’ll live.”

“You promised you’d come with us this weekend,” Jimin puffs, pushing cerulean strands away from his eyes, “I already rented our Airbnb and it was expensive as shit! If you don’t come I’m just gonna assume you hate me,” 

It was so hard to focus on the conversation, with the way his friends were sandwiching you between them. He looked down, knitting his eyebrows and running his tongue along the side of his cheek. He kept his eyes on his plate when you said you had to leave early and pushed out a small ‘bye’ when you squeezed his shoulder on your way out.

“Kook, you can stop crying now,” 

“I wasn't!” Jungkook huffs, whipping his head up to pout at his older friends laughing at him. They only made his situation harder, teasing him about you every chance they got.

“Uh, why are you yelling at me when I just got your girlfriend to come on the trip?” Jimin asks, a hand over his heart to feign hurt. Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows at the younger boy before stealing a couple fries from his plate.

“What? She said she was coming like a week ago hyung,” 

“Oh my god,” Jimin snorted, “Have you not been paying attention? What were you doing for like the past twenty minutes?” 

“Probably looking at her ass,” Taehyung interjects, waving his salt covered fingers in Jungkook’s direction.

“She was sitting down bruh,”

“I know. Her ass is still amazing,”

Jimin pauses for a moment, staring at his grinning friend. 

“You’re right, though,”He giggles, eyes turning to crescent moons with his bright smile.

Here they go again. Jungkook’s friends were never shy about their attraction to you, even though they knew about his long held crush. He figured it was because they thought he’d never act on it. They were probably right.

“Listen, she was thinking about going to her parents for three days but I convinced her to only go for the weekend so that she could still come with us,” Jimin smirked, puffing out his chest as if he deserved a medal for his ‘work’. 

Well, considering he just saved Jungkook a good two hours of sulking, maybe he did.

“Thank god, I packed like 3 pairs of grey sweatpants and no underwear! I would’ve wasted all my ‘sexy’ on… you two,” Jungkook said, pretending to gag with a finger in his mouth.

“Ew, bruh.” Jimin grimanced .

“I’m gross but y’all were just sitting here talking about ___’s ass?”

Taehyung patted his shoulder from across the table, giving him a pitiful stare.

“Her ass is actually sexy and your little dick is like a Kandinsky painting.”

“Beautiful?” Jungkook snorts, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Nah, abstract!” He replied, falling back on his seat in a fit of giggles.

It was going to be a long two days without you. 

[suga-kookiemonster]

satisfy 05

summary⇢ “listen,” taehyung says, eyes wide and eager as he smiles at you. “i figure we can just help each other out. i scratch your back, you scratch mine.” but when you find yourself suddenly in need of a massive favor, exactly how much scratching are you willing to do? pairing⇢ seokjin/reader, namjoon/reader, taehyung/reader, …..jimin/reader word count⇢ 15.9k genre⇢ smut | escort!au | ceo!au (kinda) warnings⇢ 😇😇😇😇 *chin hands sweetly* STRAP IN, FOLKS!!: GANGBANG. this chapter will include three brothers having sex with the reader at the same time (but not with each other). if this bothers you, please feel free to skip!, rough sex, unprotected sex, oral (f+m giving/receiving), fingering, face fucking, exhibitionism, voyuerism, da booty getting ate like groceries, assplay, name calling, daddy kink, orgasm denial, forced orgasm, marking, spitroasting, cumplay, bukakke 😭, honestly this is a hot ass MESS and i should be sorry but i’m not 🤷🏽‍♀️ a/n⇢ well, hello~ long time no see!!!! i'm super pumped about this chapter because it has literally been in the works since i planned this whole fic out years ago 😭 a lot of planning and struggling later, and WE FINALLY HERE 🙌🏾 🙌🏾 i am so relieved that this finally exists in the world and not just in my head lmao. thank you all for hanging with me for this long and being so patient. i hope this chapter lives up to your expectations 😈 only the epilogue left! 😮‍💨👀 mood for this chapter is this song~ hope everyone enjoys!

chapters⇢ previous | next | series masterlist

Days quickly morphed into weeks, time continuing to flow even without you consciously noticing it pass you by. You were just so busy, both your schoolwork and your unconventional part-time job a whirlwind of activity that left you too preoccupied to do much else. Your already scant social life was starting to suffer, but honestly? You were completely fine with that—a neverending schedule of sex, sleep, and studying was more than enough, and it was highly unlikely you would be able to fit anything else onto your overflowing plate anyway.

It was expected for you to not have that much free time, anyway. Jimin’s was waning too, as the further the two of you got into your studies, the busier you both became. You still texted often to make sure each other was alive, but with your differing schedules, the new normal became not getting to see him in person for weeks on end.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t losing steam. Burning the candle at both ends was finally starting to catch up with you, but there wasn’t much you could do about it other than focusing on powering through it. This was the career path you chose—your dream—and so you simply just had to bear everything that came along with it. You were willing to put the work in to reach your goals, and you just kept reminding yourself that how you were living now was just a means to an end. 

Not that you at all only found the Kims to be a means to an end. Yes, they were paying your way through school, but you still really enjoyed the time you spent with each of them. They were all great company in different ways, and at this point, the only time you were freed from the library’s clutches was when one of them wanted to take you somewhere, so you found them to be more of a welcome distraction than anything else. 

Unfortunately, that still didn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, you were bone tired.

You had always been good at compartmentalizing. But though you tried your best to not let your slowly-building fatigue show, even your new employers could tell that you were being ran a bit ragged. Namjoon came to pick you up for a date one day, and all it took was one long look at you while you were trying to buckle your seatbelt for him to put the car in park and hustle you back upstairs instead, despite your protests. You thought that maybe he decided to forgo your movie plans for much more carnal activities, but once you were back inside your apartment, he sprawled himself onto your couch and reached for you. You were confused, but when you reflexively took his hand, he simply pulled you down with him and easily folded you into his body. 

God, he smelled good. And was comfortable and warm, so it didn’t take long for you to nod off, despite only being fifteen minutes into whatever Netflix movie he had put on. Namjoon spent his scheduled date letting you snore into his chest, and when you woke up hours later, groggy and discombobulated, you found him already gone and a blanket thrown over you.

It didn’t take a genius to realize he must have said something to his brothers. The next day, seemingly out of the blue, you got an email notification that Wendy, Seokjin’s assistant, had canceled an upcoming work lunch that had been on the calendar for weeks. (You highly doubted the lunch itself was canceled—just that Jin had decided to go alone.) And you were so used to Taehyung’s frequent visits that when he didn’t stop by for four days in a row, it became blatantly obvious that something was amiss. 

They were giving you space.

But if you were honest, though you appreciated the sudden breathing room in your schedule, all of them suddenly pulling out of the arrangement was making you uneasy. This was a job, after all, and you weren’t fully holding up your end of the bargain. Hell, the week before had been your period, so you hadn’t slept with any of them then, either. And, considering the fact that all three Kims were set to go on an overseas business trip soon, the amount of leave you were inadvertently taking was quickly adding up.  

You needed this money. You needed this money, this was not what they agreed to, and you were nervous you were starting to frustrate them.

To their credit, none of them ever seemed to be. Early on, when your period made its first appearance as the perpetual wrench in your plans, Seokjin had casually informed you that he was totally fine with just putting a towel down. However, when he saw you weren’t nearly as enthused with the idea, he simply gave you an easy shrug and said, “Then take whatever time you need.” His brothers had been equally as accommodating, and have been ever since (though Taehyung sometimes still liked to playfully pout at you when you told him Aunt Flo was in town).

But the fact was, you ultimately weren’t holding up your end of the bargain, and that knowledge was constantly hovering in the back of your mind and making you a bit anxious. That was why, days before he was scheduled to leave for his three week business trip, you took initiative and asked Taehyung if he wanted to come over. 

Both Seokjin and Namjoon had already graciously canceled their standing appointments with you for the second week in a row, but Taehyung had never had a standing appointment. He was always much more spontaneous than his brothers, and that personality trait was no different when it came to you, so that’s what you were counting on.

[1:32] Hey! Did you want to come over tomorrow? [1:32] Or later today, I guess

Despite it being so late, Tae apparently hadn’t gone to bed yet. He was a bit of a night owl, like you.

Taehyung [1:34] Well hello~ Taehyung [1:34] So nice to hear from you, sweetcheeks. How’s it been going? [1:35] Sweetcheeks, Taehyung? Really? Taehyung [1:35] What? They’ve always looked pretty sweet to me 😌👀

You scoffed, amused and fond. Always an incorrigible flirt, that one.

[1:35] Yeah, okay lol  [1:36] So if they’re so sweet, what are you gonna do about it?

A pause, one slightly too long for someone whose phone was in their hand and had been actively responding to you only moments before. You knew you had him even before his reply finally came through.

Taehyung [1:37] What time?

The next day, you focused on getting as much of your work done as you could before the hard stop of when you knew you had to start getting ready. You took a long shower, letting the hot water relax your stiff muscles before carefully maneuvering into the lingerie that was still prettily packaged in the bag from the boutique you got it from, untouched on the floor of your closet since you bought it.

You hadn’t seen him a while, so it only made sense to you to make things a little more exciting than usual. Spice it up. Honestly, sex with Taehyung was always anything with boring, but the thigh-highs you slipped into were just as much for you as him. You had been so focused on your studies that you couldn’t remember the last time you wore anything other than court-approved suits, sweatpants, or pajamas. It would be nice to feel something other than just tired again. To feel desired. Sexy.

And even you could admit the outfit you had chosen was sexy. A crimson, lacy bodysuit thing that did little to obscure the dusk of your nipples and disappeared between your asscheeks. The matching thigh-highs, joined with garters. You even had a pair of heels that you planned to wear—ones that made your legs look a mile long, but hurt like a bitch every time you attempted to wear them out. Despite their shortcomings, you were willing to slip on the deathtraps because luckily, for this particular occasion, you wouldn’t have to go anywhere in them, nor would they stay on you for very long. 

You were even planning on putting on a little makeup, on properly doing your hair for the first time in weeks and giving the bun you had been sporting a rest. However, all it took was a knock on your door to put an end to all those extras.

You frowned at the sound and padded over to your front door, happy you had already thrown on one of your law school hoodies to keep yourself warm until the festivities properly started. The sight of a familiar man through the peephole, hands resting comfortably in his slacks, threw you off.

Automatically, your hands were disengaging all the locks, were swinging the door open. “You’re early—”

Whatever words you had next immediately dissipated on your tongue. Taehyung was there, but he apparently came with company. Your mind whirred, trying to come up with a perfectly logical reason for why all three Kim brothers were at your doorstep right now.  

“Your hair,” you blurted, your scrambled brain latching onto the easiest subject first.

“Hmm?” Taehyung ruffled his newly dyed locks, the onyx hue a stark difference from the silver you were used to. “Oh yeah, I guess I haven’t seen you all week. My dad wanted me to dye it to a more ‘appropriate’ color before the conference. But whatever—it was time for a change, anyway. And this will be much easier to upkeep.”

You could only continue to stare at him as he spoke, your eyes naturally drifting over his shoulder at your additional visitors. 

All three of them were dressed pretty casually, which was normal for Taehyung and Namjoon, but less so for Seokjin when not in the comfort of his own home. The soft pink of his sweatsuit was a stark contrast to the sharp intelligence of his eyes, and he met your gaze for only a few seconds before he was turning to meet Namjoon’s instead, a pinch in his brow. 

Taehyung spoke again before either of them could say anything. “You gonna keep us out here?” he teased, casually leaning against the doorframe.

That finally jumpstarted you out of your haze, scrambling to move out of the way and gesture them inside. “Yes, of course. Come in!” Before your nosy neighbor caught them and assumed you were slutting it up.

(She would technically be right, but still. It was the principle. Your life was none of that judgy old shrew’s business.) 

Tae strolled in like he always did—like he owned the place—but you noticed his brothers’ strides seemed a bit more hesitant than the confidence you were usually witness to. Namjoon’s mouth was slightly pursed in the way you’d long learned meant he was thinking. Why did they seem as confused as you did?

“Hi,” you hedged anyway, a small, puzzled smile on your lips. “It’s been a while. Sorry if I’m acting weird—I just wasn’t expecting you, so I’m a little thrown off.”

Understanding immediately crossed Seokjin’s features, but you only got a second to see it before he was whipping towards his youngest brother, appalled. 

Namjoon was looking at him too, clearly irritated. “Are you serious, Taehyung?”

“What?” you asked, gaze flitting between the three of them in hope of finding some sort of clarity. 

“You never asked her?” Seokjin snapped.

“You know that’s not cool, man,” Namjoon sighed, an agitated hand running though blond locks.  

Why were they standing in your hallway and having whole conversations in front of you like you weren’t even there? “Never asked me what?” you cut in bemusedly, a little louder than you intended. It worked, at least, all three men immediately turning back to you.

Taehyung, for his part, looked properly contrite, cringing a little at the exasperation in your voice. “I’m sorry,” he told the room before placing his attention solidly back on you. His eyes were soft and sincere. “It truly slipped my mind, and I’m sorry, _____. I didn’t think.”

“When do you ever?” Seokjin snarked, but you ignored him, focused solely on Taehyung.

“What, Tae?” you encouraged gently. “What are you sorry for?”

It was clear from the hunch of his shoulders that he felt bad. “Um…”

“He invited us to come with him to meet you today,” Namjoon supplied. He gave his little brother a disappointed shake of his head. “But that’s not a decision for him to make. Is it, Tae.”

“I just knew that none of us have seen her in a while,” Tae whined. “And _____, when you reached out yesterday, I figured it would be the perfect opportunity since we’re about to leave the country for a few weeks.”

“I should have known better,” Seokjin muttered below his breath, looking heavenward in his annoyance. “I’m really sorry about this, _____. You never marked group activities as a no and I assumed Taehyung actually asked you like an adult, so I thought you were on board. I can leave.”

You blinked, still trying to grasp what was going on. “You were…trying to share your time?” you asked Taehyung slowly.

He nodded meekly. “I don’t mind sharing,” came his honest answer.

“But does she,” Seokjin scoffed, rubbing his temples in irritation. “That’s the only thing that matters. And to think otherwise is just selfish, Taehyung.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” The words left your lips before your brain could even register them, likely spurred on by how the increasingly chastened expression on Taehyung’s face. The three of them looked at you in surprise.

“It’s okay?” Namjoon parroted, an eyebrow raised in question.

You swallowed, mind racing to actually consider the consequences of what your mouth had just offered. But your nod of confirmation came almost immediately, because you knew Taehyung had never been trying to trap you. One of the qualities that simply made him him was his spontaneity, and while that made him fun and interesting to be around, it also was a double-edged sword that could easily make you end up in situations like this.

Tae knew none of them had seen you in a while, he knew they were soon going to jet out of the country, and had simply been trying to be nice in inviting his brothers along. He didn’t mean any harm.

“It’s okay,” you repeated, giving him a reassuring smile that visibly loosened some of the tension in his body. “You can all stay.”

The words settled between the four of you, heavy in the resulting quiet. Teeming with implication. You still weren’t completely sure what you were agreeing to, but what you did know was that you were going to need something to help stave off the nerves slowly bubbling beneath your skin. You cleared your throat, turning to make your way to the kitchen. “I think I need a drink.”

You didn’t glance back at them, but you could still feel them trailing you. Feel the heat of their gaze, and even the distinct heat of a body against your back, only a whisper away. Instead, you busied yourself with rooting around in your pantry and pulling out a handle of tequila. 

“This for me?” hummed a familiar velvety voice, close enough for you to easily deduce who had invited himself into your space so intimately. Taehyung. 

You looked over your shoulder at him, immediately frozen with what you saw. His eyes were blatantly trailing your figure, undeterred by the obstacle of your sweatshirt and easily roving your stockinged legs and feet. A dangerous smirk crawled across his face that had a delighted shiver racing down your spine in anticipation. “What?” came your stupefied reply. 

“This.” His gaze lingered on your toes, but quickly rose so he could playfully flick the zipper of your sweatshirt. “Whatever you’ve got on under there. Is it for me?”

Heat licked between your thighs at his deceptively light tone. At the way he was looking at you. “No,” you sniffed. Not wanting to give in just yet. “Just something I wear around the house.”

“Well, it’s nice,” came another voice, and you were instantly reminded of your other guests. Namjoon was leaning against an adjacent counter, eyes dark. “You never wear stuff like this for me—Taehyung must be your favorite.”

Startled despite his teasing tone, your hands flew up in protest. “N-No, it’s not that—”

“Of course I’m the favorite,” Tae sassed, throwing you a wink. “It’s okay to admit it, _____. We all know!” 

There was an almost immediate snort from behind you. Technically quiet enough to go unnoticed, but full of just enough derision that Taehyung’s proverbial hackles raised at the very sound of it. His head whipped to the source.

Jin looked deceptively bored, meeting his youngest brother’s glower with a flat stare. A single lifted eyebrow said everything his mouth deigned not worth the effort. What?

Tae scowled at his brother’s obvious disdain, but then, after a few moments, he simply shot an exhale from his nose and shook his head. “You’re clearly goading me,” he chuckled. “But you know what? It’s not gonna work this time. If you’re gonna be a jackass, you can just go.”

“I think you’re vastly overestimating your importance in this situation,” Seokjin scoffed, rolling his eyes. “But what else is new.”

“Guys,” Namjoon sighed, holding up pacifying hands in an attempt to ward off the rising tension.

You observed the whole exchange silently, still too off-kilter from the situation you’d suddenly found yourself in to do much more than look from brother to brother as if you were watching a tennis match. 

This was only the second time the four of you had all been in the same room—with the first being your original meeting discussing the contract. Well, technically third, if you counted that party Taehyung took you to so many months ago—the one that rerouted your life onto this much more interesting path. But the three of them hadn’t really mingled then, so you had been left to speculate their group dynamic. 

Now, though, you were starting to suspect your inklings were true.

Seokjin, the oldest, with lots of responsibility and expectations always set on him. Taehyung, the spoiled youngest who grew up without any of the same restraints, but also without any of the same parental attention. And Namjoon, the calm, stereotypical middle child, the glue who held it all together. The forced peacemaker who made sure that any of his brothers’ unspoken resentment for each other never got too far out of line.

“The only person who can tell me to leave is _____,” Seokjin continued, the sound of your name immediately throwing you out of your thoughts. You straightened, unprepared to suddenly find yourself locking eyes with him and surprised at the intensity you found there. “And is that what you want, _____? Do you want me to leave?”

“No, of course not,” you blurted. You didn’t miss the smug look Jin threw his brother, nor the way Tae’s lips pursed in irritation, but you couldn’t really find it in you to care about any of that right now. With a steadying breath, you focused instead on shuffling over to another cabinet and pulling out a glass.

It was starting to hit you. You weren’t sure what in the hell was going on, what exactly it was you agreed to, but whatever it was, you now had all three of your lovers in your apartment at the same time. Respectful of you and your space, but still obviously ogling you—ravenous predators slowly and eagerly circling their next meal.

It all made your skin prickle in anticipation, the thrill of the unknown buzzing in your veins.    

“Choo choo,” you muttered to yourself sarcastically, pouring a healthy amount of tequila into your cup.

Namjoon raised a brow. “What?”

“What?” you parroted immediately, startled that he had heard you.

“I just…nevermind, I thought you said something.”

“Oh. Uh, I was just wondering if any of you wanted any.”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”

“I’ll take some,” Tae piped up brightly, moving into your space before you could blink. Body a breath away as he reached over to you to pull his own cup from the cabinet. You froze at his proximity, unable to look away as he smirked down at you. “Choo choo,” he murmured with a wink.

Before you could react with anything more than a sharp gasp, he was pulling away again, reaching for the tequila bottle.

Jesus.

With a slightly unsteady hand, heart pumping furiously in your chest, you welcomed the burning liquid down your throat, sticking your cup out for Tae to pour you more once it was empty.

“So how have you all been?” you babbled, tone a little too high and strained to be casual. “It’s been so long, I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me. Or that you’d made other arrangements or something. I don’t think I’ve ever been paid to be stood up before, that’s kind of embarrassing—” A hand, warm and gentle, rested on your arm, and immediately, all coherent thought escaped your electrified body.   

It was Seokjin, slowly rubbing what he likely thought were calming assurances, but only amping you up more. “She rambles when she’s nervous,” he informed his brothers, the small smile on his lips betraying his endearment.  

“Aw, don’t be nervous, babe. I’ll take good care of you,” Taehyung cooed, effortlessly draining his glass and motioning towards yours. “Want another one?”

No, that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. The last thing you needed was something that could lower your gag reflex even more. Vomming all over them would certainly make for an interesting going away gift, but then they would most certainly ghost you for real.

You shook your head of the negative thoughts, timidly swiping a tongue over your suddenly very dry lips. “So how exactly is this going to work?”  

“The way it’s always worked,” Tae reassured you with a nonchalant shrug. “It’s just you and me. The only difference is that they’re here too—but you don’t have to worry about that. I told them they could only watch.”

It took you a few moments to process that, your eyes silently roving over each of them and finding them all watching you right back. Ready, but waiting. 

Look, don’t touch. Another interesting twist to a night that was already looking to be interesting.

“Is that okay?” Seokjin asked, clearly intending to follow your lead. Leaving the ball in your court. And another glance at the other two showed they obviously shared their older brother’s sentiments. 

A memory flickered teasingly in the corner of your mind—the trepidation of being fucked in front of a window where anyone could see. The undeniable thrill that followed the thought of being watched. 

You swallowed. “Yeah,” you finally replied. “If…you want to.”

“Do you want us to?” Namjoon pressed sternly, refusing to let go of your gaze. Communication, he always insisted. Solid consent, or no consent at all. Yes or no.

All three stared at you. You shifted under their attention, a bit out of your element, but ultimately sure. “Yes,” you breathed.

“Okay,” Namjoon simply replied with an approving nod. With a pleased smile that brought forth dimpled cheeks. But then he shifted towards you more, and the slight change in his stance seemed to completely change his demeanor. His intention. “What’s your safeword?”

You knew he knew it; knew he knew you did as well. The two of you had been together enough times for a rhythm to between you to form, so this repeating of superfluous information was likely solely for his brothers’ benefits.

“Cinnamon.”

“And if you can’t say it?”

“Tap you 3 times.”

“Good.” 

“Safeword?” Taehyung chuckled incredulously, eyes a little wide in surprise. “Well shit.”

“Yeah, and I know how to use it too, if you get out of line,” you teased, but your mind was already elsewhere. It didn’t matter that Tae was the one who would be actively playing with you today—you had spent enough time with Namjoon that you had apparently been conditioned. The blond had asked you your safeword, you repeated it to him, and so the scene had officially started. All of your previous unease ebbed away as you couldn’t help but focus instead on what you were all here for. 

Carefully, you set your glass down on the counter and moved to exit the kitchen, brushing against Taehyung on your way out and shooting a pointed look at him over your shoulder. “You ready?”

“Baby, you know I’m always ready,” he purred, jolted into action and eagerly trailing down the hallway after you. “I’ve just been waiting on you.”

You didn’t bother to turn to see if the others were following you. You knew they were, their very presence somehow making the hallway feel like it was shrinking, overstuffed. Still, you tried not to let that unnerve you, continuing on with purpose until you made it to your destination and were hovering awkwardly next to your bed. 

They all filed into the room, one by one, and you bit your lip, fully out of your element. Three handsome men had allowed you to lure them here, but now that they were? You had no idea what your next move was supposed to be.  

Luckily for you, Tae was more than happy to take initiative, immediately slinking up to your side and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. The gesture was so ridiculous that you couldn’t help but snort, and he simply grinned, pleased with himself for lessening your nerves, even if only a little. He reached for you without a second thought and you let him, eager to fall into more familiar territory. 

Taehyung’s large hands smoothed over your hips, your ass with clear familiarity. A finger curled under the top of your thigh highs, lightly snapping the elastic against your skin. “You really did this is for me, huh?”

The dark look in his eye had the breath catching in your throat. “Shut up,” you scoffed unconvincingly.

He tsked, the wicked curl of his lips ruining any illusion of disappointment. “You know I like it when you’re mean to me.” 

You could only blink in response. You hadn’t known that. Was he serious? Was this another level to his subjugation, or was he just pulling your leg? 

Before your brain had the opportunity to come up with a proper retort, Tae was reaching out a finger to tap the zipper of your sweatshirt, gaze focused on its slow, teasing sway. “So.”

Your brow lifted, an unspoken prompting. 

The swinging zipper almost slowed to a stop, and when he reached out this time, it was to lightly run his thumb over the metal, to slowly roll it between his fingers. You swallowed, the anticipation of what you knew to be coming only adding to the charged silence between you. Distractedly, the tip of his tongue swiped across his lips, drawing your gaze. “You invited me to play,” he finally continued, voice honeyed amber. Crushed velvet. 

As if he hadn’t been playing with you from the moment he entered your apartment. You tilted your head anyway—an invitation and a challenge. “Then let’s play.” 

A small smile touched his lips, clearly pleased that his teasing invoked yours. But he didn’t say anything else, his response simply to finally guide the zipper down its track. Leisurely, unwrapping you like a present and delighting in the underneath.  

And you had technically dressed yourself to be one, so you let him. Let him take his time so he could fully appreciate the swell of your breasts, the purposeful, flirty peek of your nipples through the scarlet lace. You wished you had had the time to properly do your hair and makeup and slip on the heels you had set aside just for the occasion so he could get your full intended effect, but your less than perfect appearance didn’t seem to dissuade Taehyung at all. No, he simply slid his hands under the fabric when he finally got impatient enough—fingers light and palms warm—and pushed the sweatshirt off your shoulders with eyes that were all pupil. His hungry gaze carefully roved your form, a lingering path from head to toe that made your skin tingle in its wake.  

His lips parted, tongue giving them another distracted swipe, and then he finally moved again, making his way to your dresser. Now that his broad form wasn’t blocking your view of the rest of the room, you were quickly reminded of the room’s other occupants. Seokjin and Namjoon still hovered near the doorway, quiet, but obviously also drinking in the sight of you now that they could see you properly. Your breath caught, not used to having so much obvious desire directed at you, the air so thick with it you could practically taste it, heady and syrupy.

A light scraping sound regained your attention, and when you turned your head, you realized Taehyung had pulled open a particular drawer—one that he had quickly became familiar with since the start of your arrangement. He pulled out the lube he was looking for, but was much more interested in something else in there, if the mischievous look on his face was any indicator. “What’s this?” he asked, mouth a delighted box, and before you could chastise him about going through your things without permission, he was already pulling out your wand vibrator. “You got a new toy?”

“It’s not new,” you huffed, slightly embarrassed despite everything. “I just usually keep it in the shower.”

You saw his Adam’s apple dip at that information. Saw the wheels turning behind his eyes before he was quickly shutting the drawer and headed towards the bed with his loot in hand. He sat on the edge and eagerly motioned for you to follow.

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously at the vibrator he had neglected to put away, but Taehyung just reached for your hand and gently pulled you towards him until you were close enough for him to properly guide onto his lap. “Don’t be like that,” he murmured against your neck, his hot breath against the skin inciting a shiver to run through you. “Gotta prep you for the show.”

Ah yes, the show. He had faced you away from him, so now it was impossible for you to forget your captive audience. At some point, Seokjin had pulled your office chair away from your desk, and now he was lounging across the room, in direct view of the bed. His legs were comfortably spread, almost as if it was an open invitation for you to crawl onto his lap instead. Namjoon, on the other hand, was casually leaning against the desk, arms crossed. Eyes dark.

Lips trailed up your neck, quickly regaining your attention. Taehyung pressed slow kisses into the sensitive skin, humming contentedly when you tilted your head to give him better access. His hands dragged up and down your stockinged legs, his exploration only pausing to playfully snap the garter at your thigh. Your breath caught in your throat, heat thrumming through your veins at the action. You felt him smirk, and then he was tactfully lifting your legs by the knees and hooking them around his own one by one. Easily spreading  your thighs by widening his own.

Easily revealing to your unsuspecting employers that your lingerie was crotchless.

The sudden display of your pussy had an immediate effect on the room, though no one said a word. The air was so charged with crackling energy that you shivered, almost breaking out in goosebumps at the onslaught of blatant desire. This close, it was quite easy for you to hear how Tae’s breath hitched, quite easy to interpret the excitement of his fingers, still compulsively tracing over the pattern of your stockings like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. Inexplicably, you still found yourself feeling a bit shy at the salacious attention you intentionally brought upon yourself, gaze darting to the floor for a few seconds before you finally chanced a look at the other two from beneath your lashes. Seokjin was busy unabashedly staring at your spread pussy, Adam’s apple bobbing, but Namjoon was unabashedly staring at you, your heart pounding when you locked eyes.

The spell was only broken when an impatient hand guided your head to the side, Taehyung demanding your full attention. After lapping against your pulse one last time, his mouth promptly switched course to your own,  the kiss sweet, but decidedly sloppy due to the angle. In any case, it was easy to quickly lose yourself in the warmth of his lips—at this point, it was all practically reflex—and you were so engrossed in the ebb of his tongue that you completely missed the rather foreboding buzzing in the room until something was being purposefully pressed against the most sensitive part of you.

“Shit,” you gasped, jerking in his hold. But it didn’t matter, because Tae’s other hand was gripping tight at your thigh, ensuring you could do nothing but squirm in his lap, breath quickening in anticipation. 

“Hm?” came his casual response. You knew from experience that he only had your vibrator on the first or second level, but the way his restless fingers still plucked at your stockings told you he was nowhere near done with you. Let’s play you had teased, and he clearly intended to do just that. 

Before your thoughts could linger too long on how intense this night was likely going to be, the vibrator was shifted slightly to the side, resting momentarily on your thigh so Taehyung could reach for the bottle of lube and give it a generous squeeze. 

“What’s your plan?” you breathed, the question inane even to your own ears. But the words escaped you before you could even properly process them, needing to say something in an effort to distract yourself from the muted vibrations that were still trickling up your leg to your core. 

Tae let out an amused exhale, clearly not fooled by your feigned nonchalance. He humored you anyway, despite your very obvious failings to suppress a shiver. “Gotta prep you,” he answered huskily, busy warming the lube with his fingers and making them visibly slick in the process.

You only had one moment—two—before you felt him sliding a finger across the seam of you. Slowly dragging the digit up from your entrance to your clit, ghosting over the bundle of nerves just enough to make your breath catch, then drifting his way back down again.

“Don’t tease,” you murmured. 

That earned you a chuckle in response. “Don’t you think you’re the one being the tease here? Texting out of the blue and wearing this—”another snap of your garter against your thigh, to punctuate his point—“when you knew damn well it would drive me crazy?”

“I don’t know. Sounds like I was being pretty direct to me.”

Another chuckle. “Fair.” And without further preamble, he slipped a finger in you, your relief leaving you in a shuddery exhale. “That better?”

“M-Much.”

“How about this?”

Another finger, plunging into your willing heat and making another relieved sigh escape you at the stretch. “We’re getting there.”

You didn’t have to be able to see him to know he was grinning, always one to be entertained by the easy banter between you. Tae didn't say anything, his response better communicated by a scrape of his teeth across the sensitive skin of your neck, settling to suck on your pulse point. 

You didn’t bother hiding your shiver this time, unconsciously slumping further against him, hips reflexively jerking forward to pull him in deeper.

Taehyung added a third finger, snapping and scissoring and pressing and curling. Seducing your body’s natural resistance until you really started to betray your need, hips canting greedily towards his thrusts, whines erupting from your throat.

“You’re enjoying this already, baby?” Tae cooed, delighted by how responsive you were being. “I’ve barely done anything.”

You just nodded distractedly, the familiar warmth that was building in your core and creeping down your legs making it hard to think about anything else. Still, you couldn’t help your gaze being drawn to the other occupants of the room, who seemed to be frozen in time, dutifully having not moved from their posts. Completely enraptured by the way their brother meticulously worked you open.

Tae breathed hot into the shell of your ear. “You like it when they watch you?” came his knowing whisper, a nip against the cartilage punctuating his point. “Like for them to see how good I make you feel? Hmmm? What if we show them how good you take this dick?”

Your pussy fluttered. Tae cussed under his breath, teased with the wet, pulsing grip of you and falling deeper into his own fantasy. “Fuckkk, you’re dripping all over my hand, baby. I would probably just slide right in, wouldn’t I?”

“Yesss,” you moaned. “I can take it, baby.”

“I know you can. With this perfect fucking pussy. But what if we played some more? Got you nice and juicy for me?”

“I’m always juicy,” you sassed back, but any more retorts died on your tongue when you saw him reach again for the momentarily forgotten vibrator. 

Tae’s arms circled around you, his chin slotting into the crook of your neck so he could get a better look of what he intended to do. The vibrator was turned up from its low rumble and pressed unceremoniously against you, and you yelped, jolting in his hold. It was too much, and you couldn’t help but writhe against him. Still, you welcomed the sudden intensity, desperate whines freely escaping you as you hurtled toward your peak. Tae only fingered you faster in response, the undoubtedly sloppy sounds drowned out by the vibrator. “I could slide right in, but I won’t cause it’s much more fun this way. Especially since we haven’t seen each other in a while. More fun for everybody if take our time, right, baby? So how about you cum on my fingers first, and then you can pick everywhere else on me you’d like to cum?”

You could only moan freely, just like how Tae liked. If you weren’t so distracted by the way he was fucking stars behind your eyelids, you would have noticed just how affected your spectators were becoming at your display. The shifting, the subtle rubbing over pants.

But as it were, you were completely preoccupied by your swift descent into madness, your hand desperately scrabbling for purchase before ultimately rooting itself in the hair at Taehyung’s nape to await your rapidly approaching release. Because at this point, your orgasm was inevitable, your thighs quivering with the sheer force of it, every atom of you hyper-focused on achieving that satisfying end goal. 

Until the sudden sound of a certain voice knocked you out of your trance. 

“Stop.”

You jolted as if touching a live wire, hand immediately wrapping around Taehyung’s wrist like a vice and yanking the vibrator away from you. 

For a few moments, the room was silent, save the rumble of the toy and your heavy breathing. But Taehyung was too baffled to let what just happened slide. “What’s the matter?”  

You nervously licked your lips, too frozen in Namjoon’s dark stare to answer his younger brother.

“You know better,” came the blond’s low admonishment, Seokjin turning to look at him in bewilderment. 

And you did know better—when you were with Namjoon, you were not allowed to cum without his express permission. It was a game the two of you played that you often lost, despite your valiant efforts. It just never occurred to you that you would still be expected to play in Namjoon’s general presence, whether he was the one touching you or not. 

Jittery with your aborted orgasm and nervous excitement, you looked away, your eyes automatically averted submissively to the floor in a last effort to assuage him. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you replied softly.

“Daddy?” Taehyung repeated incredulously. “What the fuck?” In his confusion, his hold on you slackened, and, nervous he wouldn’t take the hint otherwise, you used the opportunity to shift his fingers out of you and stumble forward on wobbly legs.

“Take your clothes off,” was your reply, breath labored and skin already veiled in a light sheen of sweat. You needed to distract him from asking too many questions right now. Needed to distract yourself from just how strongly your body was begging to fall apart.

Tae was still confused, but he didn’t need to be told twice. Off came his button-down shirt, each button popped open just roughly enough that you were surprised none of them ended up scattered across the floor in his haste. Off came his slacks, unzipped and then easily slipped down his slim hips. He paused when reaching for his underwear though, eyes narrowing at something behind you.

You didn’t even get the chance to turn around to investigate what had caught his attention before you felt it—the distinct feeling of someone hovering in your space, close enough you could feel his body heat radiating against you.  

“Hey sweetheart,” came a familiar husky voice, goosebumps rippling across your body at the feel of Seokjin’s hot breath ghosting up your neck. “Can I touch you?”

“Hey,” Tae scowled.

“_____?” Jin interrupted, still only millimeters away. A whisper away, but never touching, waiting for the only permission he truly needed—yours. Not Taehyung’s.  

Without a second thought, you leaned back against him, delighting in the feel of his body slotting so naturally into yours. “Yes,” you breathed, pressing your ass further into what could only be the hard jut of his cock.  

Soft, plush lips trailed up your neck instantly, large hands sliding over your hips and around your waist. You immediately melted into him, your body well-trained and eager for the pleasure it knew those lips and hands would deliver. 

“This wasn’t the deal,” Tae huffed, eyebrows scrunched in irritation as he finally slid off his boxer briefs. Drawn like a magnet, your eyes fell to the bounce of his freed cock, tip already shiny with precum.

Seokjin tutted distractedly, too busy nibbling along your jaw to give his youngest brother much attention. “You need to learn to share, Taehyung. The rest of society learned that concept when we were toddlers.”

“Whatever,” Tae grumbled, clearly not happy with the way the night was turning out. He only allowed his brother a few more seconds to have his way with you before he was reaching for your hands and walking you back towards the bed.  

You gasped in surprise when the world was suddenly off-kilter, your hands reflexively scrambling to hold onto Tae for balance, but it was only when the two of you landed on the mattress that you realized he had purposely tipped you into him, your chests flush. 

“Really, Taehyung?” you laughed, now conveniently in his embrace instead of Seokjin’s. 

Tae just grinned in response, so close that his nose brushed yours. Cheekily, his hands worked the flesh of your behind.

“I’ve been wondering where those have been coming from,” you heard Seokjin say behind you, and your face heated up in realization of what he was talking about, once again shy to be so on display and open for scrutiny. You had forgotten how mottled the skin of your ass still looked, and it was a little embarrassing to be called out on it. Time apart meant the bruises were near the end of their healing stage, but though you no longer sported marks of potentially alarming colors, their faded remnants still branded you in the distinct shape of a hand. 

“If you were wondering, why didn’t you ask,” you countered, tucking your face in Tae’s neck to help hide your flustered state. 

“Because that’s rude,” Jin answered easily, his own hand reaching over to gently smooth over the discolored skin. “And it’s really none of my business.”

“I think they’re pretty,” Taehyung cut in from below you. This close, you could feel the rumble of his declaration, could feel the heat of his stare. Of his want.

“So do I.”

A different voice, one that made an undeniably eager shiver run through you. Slowly, you lifted your head and turned, and there was Namjoon, still standing across from the bed, eyes all pupil.

The way he was looking at you…desire rippled through your whole body in response, your next words leaving your lips before you could even process them. 

“Are you going to touch me too, Daddy?”

The room was quiet, the question marinating long enough that the air became thick and heavy with the resulting tension. Just when you thought you might suffocate, Namjoon finally tilted his head. Slowly—a predator locked in on prey, playing with his meal simply for his own amusement—he stalked closer to the bed. He walked past Seokjin and made it all the way to the foot of the mattress, close enough to touch you if he so pleased.

The burn of his gaze was somehow stronger now that he was closer, a palpable energy that drew you like a moth to a flame. You couldn’t help but scramble upright when he was finally right in front of you, clambering to your knees despite Tae’s clear reluctance to let you go.

“Do you want me to?” Namjoon asked passively. He looked down at you, seemingly unimpressed by how eagerly you knelt on the mattress, just waiting for him to join you on it. “You already have enough people taking care of you. Are you really that greedy?”

“Yes,” you shivered, the action involuntary but wanting. “Want you too, Daddy.”

“Hm.” The single syllable was dismissive, but your previous time spent with Namjoon had taught you not to take that at face value. That you had to have patience, that if you simply waited him out, you would always eventually get what you wanted.

As if proving your point, Namjoon silently considered you for a few more seconds before his eyebrow finally raised in challenge. “Open,” he demanded. 

Your jaw dropped instantly, tongue out, and he smiled, pleased at your obedient response.  

You weren’t sure you had the energy to be bratty to him today when his brothers were still in the mix too. 

“Good,” Namjoon cooed, all dimples and boy next door. The boy next door who firmly grasped your chin, lifting your head a little and leaning down. But though your eyelashes fluttered in preparation for the slot of his mouth against yours, it never came. Namjoon paused, slanted eyes quietly observing you, then spit in your open mouth instead.

“Jesus,” came Taehyung’s awed reply from behind you, but you were too busy trying not to whimper, thighs squeezing together with sudden want. Namjoon hadn’t told you you could swallow, so you didn’t, drool starting to collect until it overflowed and dribbled down your jaw. 

“Very good,” Namjoon murmured, and this time, he did lean down to kiss you, all wet and sloppy. You eagerly pushed further into his space, blood thrumming with your need for more, but he pulled away before you could get too carried away. He cleared his throat, lips pink and spit-slicked. “Gonna keep being a good girl for us today?”

You immediately nodded, a thrill going through you at the way the action rapidly made his expression steel over. He tsked condescendingly. “Now, now, you know better than to not speak when spoken to.”

“I’m sorry Daddy. I promise I’ll be good.”

“Well, that definitely answers the mystery bruises.” It was Seokjin, now behind you. Somehow you hadn’t noticed him discard his shirt and climb onto the bed, too caught in Namjoon’s spell. You felt his hands drifting across your waist again, roaming up to cup your breasts and lightly pinch at your nipples through the lace. You whimpered, arching eagerly into his touch.

“Oh come on,” Taehyung whined. A turn of your head produced him, naked and sulking in the middle of the bed. “It was supposed to be my turn.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his cute pout, dutifully extracting yourself from Jin’s hold to crawl your way towards the youngest brother. “Don’t worry, baby. I know how to multitask.”

He greedily grabbed you as soon as you were in reach, holding you tight to his chest and plopping back onto the bed so you were once again on top of him, knees straddling his hips. You giggled again at his antics, flattered by his sudden possessiveness, and Tae playfully nipped at your collarbone in retaliation. 

The bed dipped behind you, and then there was Seokjin again, undeterred by Tae’s petulant behavior. “Not only are you bad at sharing, but you’re only thinking about yourself,” he scoffed, grabbing your hips without preamble. “What about _____?”

Taehyung immediately bristled beneath you. 

“It’s okay,” you tried to reassure, but before you could properly defend him, you suddenly found yourself face down and ass up, the sudden appearance of a tongue swiping through your slit rendering you shuddery and brain dead. “Fuck. Jin—”

You felt Seokjin’s smirk against you. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he said huskily, hot breath ghosting over your most private of parts. “Couldn’t help myself. You dressed my meal up so pretty.”

That was fair, you supposed. That he made proper use of the easy access your lingerie provided, that he gave himself the opportunity to admire the tiny lacy hearts on your garter belt up close. But Seokjin didn’t allow himself to preen for very long, his focus immediately turning back to the task at hand. Laving hot and slow, your whole body tingling down to your toes.

Unconsciously, you pushed back further into his face, and Jin hummed approvingly, massaging your asscheeks, large hands spreading them apart so he could get as close to you as humanly possible. His enthusiasm has always been so fucking sexy, and you knew he wasn’t playing it up for theatrics when the slurping sounds started. You were that turned on, still frustrated from being led to the edge of the proverbial cliff and not allowed to jump, and Seokjin was more than happy to help himself to the honey he was coaxing from between your thighs. 

A haze was starting to take over you, completely focused on how good he was eating you out, on how hot you were, sweat and desire prickling your skin. Your hips mindlessly circling while you vaguely tried not to drool on Taehyung’s chest. 

Not that Tae seemed to mind much, hands idly roaming whatever stretch of skin he could touch, content to watch how your expression twisted and eyes glazed over as lust easily towed you under.

Seokjin pulled back a bit, chuckling at your whines of protest when he did so. But the familiar click of a top being popped open shut you up, lifting your head and looking over your shoulder to confirm your suspicions. The lube was a bit cold when it hit your asshole, and Jin wasn’t shy with the amount he squeezed out. His eyes were completely blown, enraptured by its slow decent, watching the lube trail through your pubic hair and down your slit. A distracted tongue swept across his lips, completely focused on sliding his fingers through the slick and making everything somehow even more wet. 

You shivered at his touch, thighs twitching as his long fingers smoothed the lube over your bundle of nerves in sure, purposeful circles. He leaned in again, tongue blazing a hot, meandering trail up the inside of your thigh and giving the sensitive skin there a playful nip before his fervent licks returned. Tongue slipping down to caress your clit, wandering back up to dip into your throbbing cunt, and dragging back down again. 

It was on one of these passes that Seokjin accidentally drifted a bit too high, your undulating hips causing him to lap over your asshole instead. You moaned, loud, and he immediately froze. 

It was clear neither of you had been expecting that reaction. But while you could only describe the look on his face as light surprise, you couldn’t help but duck your head in embarrassment.

“What’s the matter?” Taehyung breathed into your hair, wondering what halted the activities.

You weren’t really sure what to say, now embarrassed by your embarrassment. But it turned out you didn’t have to say anything, Seokjin curiously testing the waters by leaning in and placing a chaste kiss against your rim. When you didn’t do anything but suck in a breath, his tongue dipped out again for a tentative lick. You shuddered, ass reflexively bucking towards him instead of pulling away, and that was all the confirmation he needed. His hands palmed your asscheeks again, spreading them open to give himself more room to press his tongue against you more confidently, and you trembled in response.

It was a foreign sensation, but not bad. You technically hadn’t marked this as a no when signing your contract, but it never even crossed your mind that getting your booty ate would be a very real possibility. You weren’t against assplay per se—you simply had never experienced it before. And never in a million years would you have expected it to feel like this. 

“Mmmm, that’s good,” you couldn’t help but whimper. Electricity licked up your spine when his sloppy tongue slowly circled around the tight ring of muscle. Unbidden, your hand reached back, gliding through his hair before rooting itself and pulling in an attempt to get him impossibly closer to you. 

Seokjin hummed approvingly at the your enthusiasm, the sound almost sounding like he was blowing bubbles with the way you were now shoving his face between your asscheeks. Leaning somehow further into it, he ate you out with a vigor that told you he was clearly pleased you were using him to get yourself off. You melted into his ministrations, a whine falling from your lips when he gently slipped his sinful tongue inside you, the foreign feeling making your toes curl in unexpected pleasure. 

You were getting worked up. With nothing more than his mouth, Seokjin was easily restoking the blazing fire within you that only minutes before had been forced to embers. You were getting worked up, and the more you moaned and gyrated against him, the more Taehyung’s fingers twitched restlessly against your skin. If you had been in your right mind, you would have noticed his rising agitation and wouldn’t have been surprised when he suddenly grabbed you by the backs of your thighs and pulled you away from his brother. Instead, you blinked at him dazedly, pelvises flush after momentum had you inadvertently scooting further up his body.  

“I’ve shared enough,” he growled, irritated. “It’s my turn now.” Another pull, and you were back on his lap, his leaking erection grinding pointedly against your slick folds. “C’mere, baby—fucking sit it on it.” 

You were dazed, already pretty fucked out even though things were just getting started. The constant influx of pleasure was striking all your coherent thought, unable to understand anything other than finally being able to cross the finish line. And you knew from experience that Taehyung’s massive dick was a great way to get there, so you didn’t mind at all when he continued to maneuver you as he pleased, large hands canting your hips at a proper angle to receive him. 

Your breath hitched when he finally sunk into your fervid body. You were so turned on and wet at that point that it didn’t hurt the slightest, but he was so big that the very pressure of him forcing your walls apart caused your eyes to roll back in your head, your nails pressing crescent moons into the caramel of his skin. “Ungh—”    

“Shit,” Tae groaned, fingers tightening on your thighs at the wet grip of you. “Feel so fucking good, baby. Always so fucking good.”

He was buried balls deep, too on edge to give you any more than a few seconds to adjust before he was bucking wildly into you, easily scraping against your spongy nerves with every unforgiving stroke. You couldn’t do much more than take it, unfiltered moans readily escaping you. Hot and low, like they were generated deep in your pussy and Taehyung was hard at work fucking them up and out of your mouth.

You were so worked up at this point that you knew you weren’t going to last much longer, your walls tightening more and more by the second, your whole body trembling in preparation of the inevitable.

 “_____,” Namjoon snapped.

It took some effort to lift your head from where you had buried it in Tae’s neck, startled into blearily looking up to meet the middle brother’s steely gaze. Your mind raced, flustered and trying to understand how you had somehow forgotten about him. When his lips curled with a whisper of a smirk, it instantly dawned on you that him fading into the background had been entirely by design.

Namjoon had allowed you to be distracted by his brothers. Had allowed them to have all the fun while he quietly watched your slow, uncontrollable descent into carnality. Because he knew that all he had to do was wait, and you would inevitably disobey him.

And then his fun would start.

You had played your part in his little game, cockily swaggered your way right into his trap with thigh highs and a smile. Too naive to notice that the situation had been rigged from the start, and now that everything was in motion, it was far too late to save yourself from your oncoming reckoning. 

You were gasping, the pistoning of Taehyung’s cock setting all of your nerves alight and making it hard not to meet him thrust for thrust, trapped in meeting Namjoon’s stare through your wet lashes. He had moved to stand at the foot of the bed, close enough to touch, and he was the only person in the room who was still, bafflingly, fully-dressed.

“Please,” you babbled, too far gone to even know who your begging was directed towards. “Please, I—” Your body spazzed violently, only contained by Tae’s bruising grip as he relentlessly continued to plow into you. “Ohhh godddd! Fuckkk—ah, ahhhh—”

Against your best efforts, your cunt locked down, hard. So hard you forgot to breathe, pleasure and relief finally flooding your veins as you stuffed your face into Tae’s neck to ride it out, bucking and whining and incoherent.

Taehyung made a loud, choked noise, the feeling of you pulsing around him throwing him further into his trance. “Fuck yeah,” he growled, fingers digging into your thighs punishingly. Drilling into you harder, your release heightening his desperation for his own. Biology making him single-minded, manic, even when you started to mewl in oversensitivity. “Squeezing me so tight. Cream me good, baby. Fuck.” 

You continued to tremble, nothing more at this point than sparking nerve endings. Tae lifted his head a little to lick into your awaiting mouth, kissing you wet and wild and desperate while still plunging deep inside you.  

But even though you did nothing to attempt to control the torrent of whines freely spilling from your tongue, in the back of your mind, you still had the good sense to be nervous. Because even without seeing his face, you already knew Namjoon was pissed. 

You had failed.

As if confirming your thoughts, fingers wrapped around your hair and pulled, naturally ripping your lips from Taehyung’s and forcing your head to lift. With nowhere to hide, you were forced to meet the full intensity of Namjoon’s glare. 

“What did I say,” he demanded darkly, a muscle jumping in his jaw. Your blood pounded excitedly.

“Cut her some slack, Namjoon,” came Jin’s mild reply from behind you. Your eyes widened, not expecting his dismissive tone to go over very well. 

Namjoon didn’t acknowledge his older brother, instead focusing his attention on his younger. A carefully controlled tempest that was moments away from unleashing its wrath. “Taehyung. Move.”

The swivel of Tae’s hips slowed, but didn’t stop. He was too on edge, too close to joining you in bliss. “I—g-give me a minute, hyung—”

“Move.” 

You could feel just how reluctant Tae was to comply—his rutting finally stopped, but his hips still instinctually twitching in a primal need to keep fucking you. Still, something in his brother’s tone made his protest cut off in his throat, and after a few labored, frustrated breaths, he obediently slipped out of you. 

You whimpered at the loss, your toes curling at the resulting friction. Between the cum that had long been leaking from you and dribbling down your thighs and the mess Tae’s cock was making in his excitement, it was hot and sticky where your bodies slotted together, and you couldn’t help the way you senselessly started to grind against him, lashes fluttering at the feeling.  

Namjoon scoffed at your clear desperation. “You would have liked that, wouldn’t you?” he snapped, grip still firm in your hair. “For him to cum inside you.”

You shivered at the thought, a little embarrassed that you were so obvious. “Yes, Daddy,” you murmured, releasing a shuttering breath when you felt Tae’s slick cock jump against your stomach at your admission.

“Well you’ve been bad,” Namjoon replied slowly, as you weren’t very bright, “so you don’t get to have what you want.” He took a step forward, legs knocking into the edge of the bed, now only a breath away, and you licked your lips, mentally preparing for what you knew would come.

But before he could get any closer to you—before Taehyung could even slide from beneath you—there were once again hands on your hips.

“Hey!” Tae snapped irritably, but whatever he had to say was drowned out by your surprised, rather pathetic choking when, with a delicious roll of his hips, Seokjin unexpectedly sank inside your pliant body, thoroughly making himself at home exactly where Tae had been forced to vacate. You had been so focused on Namjoon that you somehow missed the weight shifting behind you, the telltale rustling of clothing as he pushed is sweatpants down his hips enough to free his cock so he could stuff you the hilt. 

You had been saved by the eldest Kim, at least for now. But for how long would he really be able to delay your punishment?

Since he was still holding you by the hair, you could easily see the emotions flicker across Namjoon’s face at his older brother butting in, but his expression quickly settled into something mirroring cool indifference.

You knew better. Namjoon was a patient man, but you doubted he would let your disobedience slide so easily. 

Seemingly uncaring of either of his brothers’ vexation, Seokjin rode your ass, hips rolling forward in constant waves, strokes long and deep and pointed. Clearly wanting to keep you mewling for him. 

And as you did just that, you rapidly realized that saving you from Namjoon’s wrath had never been his intention. No, he simply liked you just like this, whiny and shivery and too fucked out to care that you were drooling and desperate. 

“You feel it, sweetheart?” he asked, voice melodic and sweet. Leaning over to press plump lips up your spine and sucking on a rather sensitive spot at the back of your neck. 

“Yesss,” you whined. You could feel everything, could feel the ripple of your ass every time his hips slammed against it, could feel every ridge of his cock that scraped against your insides. Sparks shot through you after every stroke, your clit forced to drag across Tae’s stomach with the force. “Fuck, you’re so big and deep, fuck, fuck.”

Seokjin just hummed, playing your body like a fiddle and pleased by how it was responding to him. Breath stuttering, toes curling, fingers gripping the sheets.

But despite how good he was making you feel, you weren’t too fucked out to overlook Namjoon this time. No, this time forgetting him was impossible, the middle brother doing nothing to hide his massive presence. He towered over you, intently watching you get railed by his older brother, and the barely suppressed fury you could sense radiating off him was making your cunt throb and head spin. 

“I’m sorry, D-Daddy,” you stuttered, everything tingling at the look he fixed you with in response. “I couldn’t help it.”

“Are you?” he asked lowly, a tic in his jaw. He let the question marinate for a few moments, let you simmer beneath his intense stare. Just when you felt the overwhelming compulsion to apologize again, he finally reached for you, a single finger lifting your chin and forcing you to meet his gaze directly. With a patronizing tilt of his head, he popped open the button on his pants. “Then make it up to me.”

You were already pushing yourself to your hands and knees, desperate to please. Taehyung’s hands drifted up your sides to steady you, your body trembling from the way Seokjin still reamed into you, undeterred. You reached out for the band of Namjoon’s pants, trying to get to the important bits, but he simply tutted and smacked your hand away.

“Mouth,” he said simply, the single word full of derision.

So you leaned forward again, this time using the tip of your nose to part his fly and give you proper access to his clothed cock. He was thick and swollen already, straining against the material, and you felt him stir with interest when you mouthed at him through the fabric. Coquettish licks lapping hot against the length of him and making his hips reflexively shift forward, unconsciously chasing the stimulation. You licked and sucked until there was a noticeable wet patch, doing your best to show that your apology was sincere and give him your full attention. 

But that was hard to do when his brothers were busy giving you their full attention.

Seokjin was in a trance, fingers sinking into your thighs so he could properly hammer into you. Thrusts steady and coaxing your pussy to leak its praises, your thighs sticky with your essence. 

Taehyung, on the other hand, was getting noticeably antsy beneath you, fingers increasingly twitching against your damp skin the longer his brothers got more of your attention. You looked down, and the furrow of his brow and downturn of his lips were your last clues to his growing jealousy before he took action, hand reaching up to drag through the mess you were making before his thumb sought your clit, rolling and pinching. You bucked and squealed, the extra stimulation rocking you to your core and making your walls pulse dangerously enough that you found yourself squirming to escape him, grabbing Tae’s wrist for the second time that night in an act of self-preservation.

He was undeterred, rerouting his focus to your chest instead. With impatient hands, he yanked on the cups of your bodysuit, a concerning ripping noise immediately filling the room at the action. Before you could even say anything, he was already lifting his head to eagerly bite and suckle on your newly freed tits, tongue curling around a pebbled nipple and mumbling “I’ll buy you another one.”

Switching from one erogenous zone to another did nothing to quell your desire, but at least the stimulation wasn’t as intense. This you could safely enjoy, lashes fluttering, chest inadvertently pushing further into his face in silent encouragement.

And encourage you did, Taehyung creating enough suction with his mouth to properly burst capillaries. Contentedly littering your skin with marks you allowed, comfortable in knowing this was a region easily covered by your clothes. 

Determined not to lose focus, you leaned forward again to continue giving Namjoon your full attention, trying to strategize the best way to get at him without using your hands. But either Namjoon finally decided to take pity on you or he was getting impatient too, because it was his own hands that reached down, only bothering to disturb his waistband enough to free his already leaking cock.

You didn’t know if it was a conditioned response from your past escapades or simply the extremely sexy sight of him giving himself a few firm, confident pumps. Either way, you felt it when you started to salivate, aching to properly taste him.

Your enthusiasm must have shown on your face, because the blond man simply smirked down at you knowingly, thumb slowly running over a prominent vein and further smearing his own mess around. “Well?” he prompted, almost sounding bored. You knew he wasn’t. That he was rock hard and dribbling precum, that his eyes were hooded yet laser-focused on the way his brothers devoured you—those were clues enough. Still, you couldn’t help the fire his feigned disinterest lit low in your belly, desperate to please him.      

You started low, turning your head so you could playfully tongue first at his balls before making the long trek up the massive length of him, taking care not to accidentally involve your teeth from the way Seokjin’s thrusts were rocking you forward. Finally, you took him in your mouth, suckling on the weeping head. Humming contentedly at the salty taste and meeting his blown eyes from beneath your lashes.

Namjoon’s lips parted, but he didn’t say anything, hips twitching forward when you pressed your tongue into his slit.

You didn’t notice at first. To be fair, you were plenty preoccupied with everything else going on, with all other sensations. So you didn’t notice Taehyung’s hand drifting over your hip until he was cupping one of your asscheeks, fingers teasing further inward. 

Before you could say anything, a finger sunk itself into your cunt, right next to where Jin was still plowing into you. You groaned, eyes rolling back at the added stretch, but the oldest brother wasn’t as pleased by the intrusion.    

“Taehyung,” he said gruffly, voice deep with irritation and thinly-veiled hunger. But Tae just pumped the long digit into you a few times and then slowly backtracked, lightly trailing the slick back up the cleft of your ass.

“Relax,” came Tae’s mellow reply, and when he started circling a questioning finger around your rim, you weren’t sure if he was talking to you or Seokjin. 

Still, you shivered, breath stuttering when you realized where this was going. When the finger did nothing more than circle and lightly press against you, you released Namjoon’s cockhead from between your lips, eyes fluttering. “Yes,” you breathed hot against Namjoon’s crotch, understanding what Tae was wordlessly asking you. 

A glance down produced Taehyung, eyes all pupil, tongue lolling thoughtfully in his mouth as he watched you tremble above him, tits rippling and swaying from Seokjin’s force. Finger mindlessly continuing the massaging of your hole. He locked eyes with you, making sure he understood, and then slowly started pressing the slick digit into your asshole.

You whimpered, fighting against your instinct to clamp down on him. Relax. Relax. It didn’t hurt exactly—was just pressure where you weren’t used to having any. And Tae made sure to go at a glacial pace, made sure to keep massaging your insides, to help you acclimate to the intrusion. 

Distantly, you felt Jin’s thrusts slow to something much more languid, and you had a feeling the way your body was opening up for his youngest brother was more than a little distracting.

“Good?” Tae asked shakily, sinking into you bit by bit. 

“Yes,” you slurred, completely fucked out. Tae’s always had large hands with long, elegant fingers, and right now, when he kept going further and further in, you were becoming privy to just how long they actually were. Your eyes threatened to roll back when his last knuckle finally breached you, and when he gave you a cursory tap after a few seconds, you had to swallow a moan. 

Rather affectionately, Namjoon started caressing your face, bringing your attention back to him. Dazed, you put him back in your mouth, continuing to suck him and trying not to think about how Seokjin was revving his pace back up and Taehyung was tapping your insides in tandem. Namjoon just smiled softly down at you, and it was so sweet that you almost don’t see what happened next coming, too preoccupied with everything else that was going on. Gently, his hand drifted up—and gripped you securely by the hair, cock suddenly surging down your throat. You immediately gagged, throat repeatedly convulsing around him, and he grunted appreciatively at the feeling before pulling all the way out. Cheeks still sweetly dimpling at how wrecked you were.

And wrecked was the only way to describe you. You were gasping, jaw glistening with spit. Eyes watering and whole body twitching from all the relentless stimulation.

Namjoon only gave you a few seconds to gain your bearings before a pull of your hair had your head snapping back. Before his cock was pushing back into your panting mouth. You tried your best to relax your throat this time, taking stuttered breaths from your nose when his fucking began in earnest. Tried your best to ignore the way your jaw threatened to lock from trying to accommodate the sheer girth of him.

It was a lot. You were feeling sensations from so many areas at once—ass, tits, mouth, cunt—that your brain was absolutely swirling trying to figure out which brother’s ministrations it should be focusing on. And though the pleasure pumping through you was borderline unbearable, you couldn’t even let that overflow of emotion out, your wails stuck bubbling in your chest because you were too busy lewdly gargling on Namjoon’s cock.

You remembered, all those months ago when you’d first been considering whether you should take this job, how you'd poured yourself another glass of wine and reread the contact for the nth time thinking well, I guess I do have three holes. That’s certainly convenient. 

Now that it was happening, however—now that all three of your holes were stuffed and both your mouth and your pussy were dribbling and messy and straining with effort—now, it was nothing short of intense. Nothing hurt, but you were so completely and entirely overwhelmed by all of the feeling that you thought you might just simply burst, your nerve endings crackling free and raining over the room like fireworks.  

It’s too much. It was too much, but right when you were starting to consider giving Namjoon two taps on the wrist—a metaphorical yellow—he backed off on his own, easing some of the pressure. And suddenly your mouth was free, a string of saliva still connecting you to his glistening cock before the tension of him stepping back eventually made it snap.  

Namjoon had eased some of the pressure, but he couldn’t stop more from surging forward in its place. Your body could only take so much of their tortuous teasing before it succumbed to its baser instincts, and it seemed you had finally reached your boiling point. In a trance, you pressed your hips backwards to meet Seokjin’s next stroke, forcing him deeper inside you and making you both shudder. And that small action was all the encouragement he needed, his primal instincts screaming at him to ruin you.

Drilling into you with new purpose, Jin fucked the remaining breath out of your lungs, staccatoed bursts of ah ah ah pouring from your drooling mouth. Panting like an animal in heat, moaning so wantonly that you would be embarrassed if you weren’t already so completely braindead with pleasure. 

“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathed, watching your rapid unraveling in amazement. “You’re so fucking hot. Fuck.”

Before even realizing what was happening, you finally shattered around him, your bones liquifying at the intensity and causing you to collapse on Tae, writhing and choking into his neck.

“There you go,” Jin encouraged, words wobbling as he tried to weather the force of how tightly your walls were squeezing him.

Taehyung was curling his finger within you to lengthen your orgasm, was absently rubbing your back to guide you through it. “So perfect,” he whispered, lips fondly brushing against your temple while you shook.

When it finally ended you were left twitching and sensitive, too dizzy from the sheer force of your climax to register the thunder rolling across Namjoon’s face.

His brothers did, though.

An audible squelch filled the room when, without warning, Seokjin pulled completely out of you. Confused, you looked over your shoulder at him, only to suddenly find yourself lifted and tilted, Taehyung surging upright and taking you with him. Unprepared to catch yourself, your back easily hit the mattress, now finding yourself looking up at the three brothers who hovered over you.   

“Hmmm.” Namjoon pretended to think, tone calm but eyes steely. “I could have sworn I specifically told you not to do that.”

“You did,” Jin cut in mildly, looking between the two of you curiously.

Your eyes widened, unprepared for this turn of events. You never would have pegged Jin as such an instigator, but apparently he was very interested in seeing the consequences of your continued disobedience.

Your betrayal must have shown on your face, because Seokjin’s lips pursed in amusement. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he chuckled, leaning down to press a chaste kiss against your lips. “You’ve been so good for me, but we have to be fair. And unlike Taehyung, I know how to share.”

“Am I or am I not sharing right now?” Tae griped, unamused by the dig. But you were no longer paying those two any attention, your focus now fully on Namjoon and the leisurely way he was now stripping out of his shirt.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you hedged, knowing before you even said the words that they would do jack shit to appease him. “It just felt too good…”

Namjoon raised an unimpressed eyebrow, throwing his t-shirt on the floor as if it offended him. “All you keep saying is sorry,” he mused. Down went his pants and underwear, kicked out of his way. His knee hit the mattress, Taehyung shifting to the side so Namjoon could finally stalk over to where you lay, fucked open and wet. Cautiously, you met his stare, the breath halting in your lungs when you recognized the retribution that was undoubtedly about to come. 

“But sorry means nothing if you don’t modify your behavior,” he tsked, eyes darkening. “So. I don’t believe you.”

That was all the warning you got before he was crowding into your space, grabbing you by the ankles and hooking them over his shoulders. Caging you in with his body, pressing close enough that his cock easily slid over the mess of your cunt, making you mewl at the sensation.

And that involuntary reaction didn’t seem to help your case with Namjoon. “More?” he scoffed, seemingly displeased, though the way he rocked his length through the seam of you told a different story. “After all that, you still want more?”

You were exhausted, thighs still quivering from your last orgasm. But you couldn’t help the way the weight of his body and the slide of his cock were causing your pussy to pulse. “Yes, Daddy,” you breathed, angling your hips down so you could deliciously meet him on his upstroke.

“And it’s all about what you want, isn’t it?” he mocked, spearing you to the hilt in one go. You choked at the intrusion, not expecting him to enter you so suddenly. At this point, you were fully prepped enough to take him, but, like his brothers, Namjoon was still a lot to take all at once.

Particularly when he had already made up his mind that the best way to punish you was with his cock.

You quickly gathered his gameplay from the immediate way he started rutting into you, not giving you any time to adjust or catch your breath. Simply railing you into the mattress, your legs over his shoulders ensuring he hit deep enough for you to feel it in your throat.

“Fuckkk,” you groaned, fingers curling in the sheets, biting down on your lip enough to taste metal. “Fuck fuck—”

“What?” he taunted, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Making sure he scraped your g-spot on every thrust. “This is what you wanted, remember? And it’s all about what you want.”

“Yes, Daddy.” You could already feel yourself ready to clamp down again, your extremely sensitive pussy overreactive to any and all stimulation. “I want it, I want it, yesss—”

He pressed impossibly closer, bending you enough that you felt the burning strain in your legs, and that did the trick. Before you could nervously start to ponder whether you were flexible enough for what he wanted to do, you were cumming, hard, back attempting to bow with the force of it but only succeeding in making your whole body lock up and your vision blur.

Namjoon didn’t slow down during your climax, and he certainly didn’t slow down after. He fucked you like a machine, undeterred by how your pulsing walls tried to suck him in and keep him there. Undeterred by how you hopelessly whined and squirmed in overstimulation. And when you suddenly heard a familiar buzzing noise, there was nothing you could do but meet his intense gaze with wide, alarmed eyes.

“What?” he demanded, pressing your long-forgotten wand vibrator right on your clit and making you immediately jerk. The caramel of his skin was already glistening and beading with sweat, but he seemed long from tired. “You think you can cum on everbody’s dick but mine?”

It was too much, the near animalistic pace of his fucking paired with how high he had turned the vibrator making your hands shoot up, scrabbling along his biceps in a panicked response, your body now entirely on autopilot, desperately trying to save itself from its fate. 

“Please,” you heard yourself beg, choking at the intensity. Legs jerking uselessly on his shoulders, nails scratching marks down his skin.

But the word that would make him stop never passed your lips. And so he continued to ignore your unsuccessful struggling, fucking you right back to orgasm, this time somehow even stronger than the last and stealing all air from your lungs.

He felt it, of course. Felt exactly how hard you were squeezing him, the tight grip of your pussy evoking the grit of his teeth. 

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that to milk me,” he growled, moving the vibrator away from you just enough for you to suck in a breath. “Come on, take this dick since you want it so bad. Take it!” 

And you had no choice but to take it, trying your best not to black out as he forced the coil within you to snap, again and again. You were shrieking, but you couldn’t even perceive your own actions anymore, swept completely by his unforgiving undertow of pain-lined pleasure. Namjoon was fucking you stupid, scrambling your brain as easily as if it were an egg, forcing you to your most primal of reactions, your most basest of self. Thrashing beneath him, desperate tears trickling down your cheeks, spit freely trickling from your wailing mouth.

It felt neverending, this exquisite torture, and just when you were starting to get distressed about how much longer you would be able to take it, Namjoon’s thrusts started to turn sloppy.

“This is all you wanted, right?” he panted, hips stuttering. A welcome warning for what was soon to come. His focus rapidly shifted from your orgasm to his own, and the way he tossed the still buzzing vibrator to the side was nothing short of impatient.

You blinked up blearily at him, the reduction in stimulation helping you slowly return to your body after being stuck the stratosphere. 

“Wanted my nut? Agreed to fuck all of us at once just so you could get more of it, isn’t that right, babygirl?”

His intense stare told you he expected an answer, but all you could do was whine in response, hesitant to admit it. Pussy pulsing at the very visual he had conjured up. Warily, you glanced at the other two brothers, nervous at what you might find there, but one look quickly evaporated all uncertainty.

Though they had moved out of the way for Namjoon, they hadn’t moved far—still close enough for you to reach out and touch, still close enough for them to hover over you and get a close view of the action. Still close enough for you to see understanding dawn across Seokjin’s face, to see pure astonishment take over Taehyung’s.

Namjoon spotted your division in attention and was having none of it, a hand guiding your jaw until you were focusing on him again. “You like being a dirty cumslut,” he prompted mildly, your heart racing in response. Slipping a thumb between your plush lips and humming approvingly when you sucked on it, tongue twirling. “Don’t you, baby?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you moaned hoarsely, the very admission making your whole body vibrate. The continued hammering of your sensitive core making you want to reflexively squirm away, though Namjoon’s heavy body ensured you had nowhere to go.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I like being a dirty cumslut.”

Taehyung whimpered, and it was easy for you to deduce from the rapid movement you could see from the corner of your eye that he was jacking himself off while watching you. Well and truly done with delaying his own pleasure.

And from the rather manic way Namjoon was looking at you, he was obviously on the same wavelength. “And do you know how much cumsluts love it?” A quick swipe of his tongue over his panting lips. “They want it in them. On them.”

“Please, Daddy,” you begged, nearly sobbing at the strength your want. Your head whipping around, desperately pleading with all three of them. “Please let me have it! I’ve been so good, please—”

“Holy shit,” Tae groaned, eyes rolling back in his head. “Okay baby, I’ll give you what you want. I’ll give you it all. You want it all?”

“Yes. Yes, yes yes yes yesyesyes—”

Abruptly, Taehyung was pushing forward into your space, hovering more directly over you and treating you to the sight of how those long fingers were furiously pumping his cock. He was panting, a prominent vein in his neck visible because of his efforts, little whines escaping him as he viciously worked his slick length.

There was shifting on your other side, and your focus immediately turned to Seokjin. He looked back at you dazedly, lips parted, chest flushed at your attention.  

“Please?” you whimpered, fully aware how pathetic you must have looked but not giving a single shit. So long as you got what you wanted. You needed them to give you what you wanted.

The oldest immediately softened at your pleading, always so willing and eager to please you. “Of course,” he breathed, hand already moving over himself with long, tight strokes. He shivered, hips reflexively jumping forward at the stimulation. “W-Where?”

A shift, and Namjoon was pulling back from you, maneuvering your legs back to the bed and sitting back on his haunches. Despite this new position, he never let his cock leave the comfort of your walls, continuing to hammer into you, jaw locked in concentration, balls smacking into your ass with a lewd slapping sound. Focused only on racing to the finish line.

“Anywhere,” you shuddered. “Everywhere, just…” Your entire body was on fire and you could barely take it, the anticipation of what was about to happen making you writhe over the sheets, whimpering pathetically. Your tongue lolling out your gasping mouth, an eager target.

And then finally—finally—you were given what you asked for. Loud, uncontrolled moans spilled from Taehyung’s lips, swiftly becoming desperate before one last squeeze of his cock had him cumming, his release spraying hot all over your breasts and slowly trailing through your cleavage. 

You moaned with him, delight buzzing through your veins at being marked so intimately, and the sound seemed to trigger Namjoon, who immediately pulled out of you, expertly pumped himself a few times, and then ejaculated with a long, drawn-out grunt. After essentially edging himself for most of the night, the amount of cum he gifted you was more than generous, most of it painting your pussy in long ropes, but some of it inevitably ending up on your belly with how aggressively he was jerking himself off.      

The sight of it all, the feeling, was so unbearably hot that you almost came untouched, eyes rolling back, pussy pulsing with interest despite how exhausted you were. And your obvious pleasure was what finally set off Jin, teeth digging into his lower lip while his seed spurted white across the lower half of your face and slid down your jaw, some of it delightedly landing on your awaiting tongue. 

You hummed contentedly, immediately licking the thick, heady remnants from your lips so you wouldn’t waste a drop. Your eyes fluttered shut, your hands slowly and sensually trailing over your own body. Basking in it all. Purposely smearing their mess over wider stretches of skin—pinching gently at your nipples, dragging your fingers between your tits, gliding over your hips, drawing light, sticky figure eights around your clit before dipping a bit lower and slipping two cum-coated digits inside your hot walls. Your hips twitched, lazily chasing the intrusion on reflex. Simply enjoying being so completely and utterly satisfied.   

You were so transfixed and in your own world that you completely forgot about the three other people still in the room, greedily feasting on the undeniably filthy way you savored what they gave you. You weren’t sure how long they let you be, but it was a voice finally breaking the silence that slowly lured back to reality.          

“_____?” 

The voice was gentle, yet deep, the spell cast over you immediately broken at the sound of it. It was Namjoon, hovering over you again, lips quirking into a small smile as he watched the fog disperse from your eyes. “How do you feel?”

You let out a satisfied sigh, pulling your fingers out of your pussy with hum. “Tired,” you admitted, voice raspy from the activities. “But amazing.”

His smile widened, cheeks dimpling. “I’m glad.”

Suddenly, Taehyung was laying on the bed with you, arms wrapped around your sticky form. Just like always, his sweaty body slotted easily against yours, happily nuzzling his face into your neck and apparently wholly unfazed about the fact that you were completely covered in spunk. “You’re amazing,” he chirped, pressing a flurry of kisses into your skin and making you giggle. “You know, when you told me you liked cum forever ago, I didn’t realize this was what you meant.” 

“You never asked,” you shrugged, somehow still timid despite everything that had just happened. “What did you want me to say, exactly? Hey Tae, do you mind doing me a solid and shooting the club up? Or maybe can you give me a nice, relaxing facial?”

The pure bafflement of his expression had you laughing again. “In what world would I ever say no to that?” he demanded incredulously. 

Amused by the turn in conversation, Seokjin bent down to press his lips against your forehead in gratitude before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “Do you mind if I use your shower?”

“Of course,” you replied, moving to direct him to your bathroom before Namjoon stopped you with a pat on the thigh.

“I’ll show him.”

You couldn’t help but watch their strong, naked forms leave the room, eyes drawn to the musculature of their backs and buttocks.

“Hey.” Tae poked you in the cheek, mirth dancing in his eyes from catching your ogling. “Focus. I’m talking to you.”

“What, I’m not allowed to enjoy the view?” 

He couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, though he was undeterred from getting the answers he sought.

“I told you what I wanted,” he reminded you gently, pressing another kiss against your jaw. “You know you could have done the same.”

You shifted in his hold, sheepish. “Tae, all of this isn’t really about me…”

“What, so just because we’re paying you, you’re not supposed to enjoy it too?” he scoffed. “Baby, as we’ve just proven tonight, it’s more fun when we all have fun.”

“I always have fun!” you protested, but you were prevented from elaborating by Namjoon returning with a washcloth. He climbed back on the bed, reaching for your ankles and guiding them apart.

“Open,” he directed, his tone containing none of the dominance it often had when he usually uttered the word. You obediently followed his instruction, a soft sigh escaping your lips when he pressed the warm cloth against your thoroughly battered netherparts and started cleaning you up. 

For a little bit, Taehyung watched your makeshift bath in silence, not even saying anything when Namjoon left to rinse off the towel and came back with a freshly damp one, gliding over the stained skin of your face and chest before they started to crust over. In fact, Tae didn’t speak again until your spot bath was finished and Namjoon was clambering back in the bed with the two of you, an arm slinging low over your waist as to not disturb where Tae’s rested. Pulling you against him until your chests were flush.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us on our trip?” You could feel Taehyung’s pout against your skin, displeased at the idea of being away from you for three weeks.

You huffed out a laugh, slinging a leg over Namjoon’s hip to settle more comfortably into your new position as the filling of a TaeJoon sandwich. “I’m positive. I have a lot studying to do and frankly, I’m not completely sure I can walk anymore.”

“Who said you need to walk?” Namjoon cut in sleepily. 

“We can pay someone to walk for you,” came Tae’s enthusiastic, yet ridiculous offer. “We’ll be going to meetings, but you can just roam the city if you want. Or relax at the hotel. You can lounge by the pool all day and put all your food and drinks on our tab.” 

Though it certainly sounded tempting, you were fully aware what the tradeoff of that makeshift vacation would be, and the absolute last thing you wanted to think about after the crazy intense session you just experienced was sex. So, despite Taehyung’s wheedling, you managed to stand firm in your decision, completely fine with waiting until they were back in the country to even consider spreading your legs for any of them again.

And you were justified when Seokjin finally reappeared, fully clothed, rubbing a towel through his hair, and informing you that his assistant Wendy would be in touch to schedule his next session for sometime after he returned.

chapters⇢ previous | next | series masterlist

[mikasas-biggestwhore]

Attack on Titan characters and their butts: Part 2 ‼️‼️‼️

Once again like before this was just a random conversation with my friend and I just thought the world needed to know our thoughts! Side note: Merry Christmas guys <3

Characters: Levi, Erwin, Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt

This is probably the last part so y’all better enjoy 💜

Levi Ackerman

— Levi most definitely has a fatty from all that working out the scouts do. The thing is that his ass is very firm and there is no plush to it at all

— Like if you grabbed a handful it’s not leaking through you fingers. Your basically grabbing stiffened jello. (These descriptions keep getting weirder 😭)

— Sadly Levi does not have any jiggle. His booty is too firm for it to really have any movement at all.

— HOWEVER IF YOU SMACKED THAT SHIT??? GAHDAMN. THAT SHIT WOULD GIVE HELLA RECOIL

— See this all sounds good and dandy but there is a downside. While Levi has a very smackable ass his booty is shaped like a square :(

— So many men stay having square shaped booties and he’s a victim to this. Tsk tsk tsk

— He does know how to throw it back. He’s literally a Ackerman, of course he does. The only issue is you will never catch Levi shaking his ass sorry to disappoint you

— Ngl Levi is probably aware he has a fatty but it’s more of a inconvenience for him then anything. Like he’s got extra weight from the back of his body to worry about now.

— Side note: If you do try to slap his ass your gonna get your ass beat 🤕

Erwin Smith

— ERWIN TAKES NUMBER 1 FOR THE FATTEST BOOTY IN THE SERVEY CORPS ‼️

— Hear me out guys. Erwin’s butt is just hella fat, it’s plump, nice and rounded, AND DAMN DOES IT BOUNCE

— His ass gives a jiggle with every step he takes it’s actually insane. Like it’s practically a bouncy ball

— DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE RECOIL IF YOU SMACKED IT.

— There would be ripples like water and I mean ripples.

— Everyone is very aware that Erwin has a fatty except for Erwin himself. He’s not completely clueless but he just doesn’t think much about it yk

— “My butt is a lot bigger then everyone else. That’s odd” and then bro will move on with his day. Like it’s only a split thought he has had

— If you ever grabbed Erwin’s ass the fat would literally be leaking through your fingers. Good god

— I’m sorry y’all but even with all this ass Erwin definitely does not know how to shake it. I’m not even sure if he knows what throwing it back is-

— So this man is just walking around with a weapon basically. Erwin’s ass could take lives

— PUT YOUR HEARTS UP FOR DA ASS 🫡

Reiner Braun

— He’s not completely caked up like Erwin but he’s not flat. His ass is most definitely fat but in its own way

— Like Reiner has a very sculpted ass and it’s beautiful (making me tear up just thinking about it). It’s muscular and strong and big

— If you laid on it, it wouldn’t be pillow worthy but it would be a nice and a solid base for you to lay your head down on and have a good nap

— Like his ass is not soft at all but if you grabbed that shit. You would get the absolutely perfect hand full of his ass.

— It would absolutely amazing to squeeze BUT SLAPPING IT??? OH MY GOD.

— Because Reiner’s butt is so firm there isn’t any recoil but the sound it makes is absolutely delicious. Plus the feeling against your hand would have you die and rise to heaven

— Reiner has a very smackable ass. He’s the type of person where if he walks by your like “Damn I just wanna touch it”

— I would argue that Reiner has the best ass to smack out of the whole survey corps. LORD I WOULD LOVE TO SMACK HIS ASS

— Anyways Reiner doesn’t know how to throw it back but he makes up for it by putting himself in the most compromising positions and if there’s anyone near they go absolutely crazy.

— Reiner bent over to tie his shoe? WHAM! Reiner laying on his stomach some where? WHAM! Shit Reiner could just be standing minding his own business. WHAM!

— 10/10 would 100% recommend smacking Reiner’s ass

Annie Leonhart

— Annie does in fact have a fatty and it’s literally drop dead gorgeous. Like damn

— Her booty is nicely sculpted, it’s round, it’s hella fat, and it’s plush like a pillow. You could have yourself a nap on that thing

— Plus it jiggles. It jiggles.

— Shit be having recoil with every step she takes. She could kill a man with that bounce.

— The thing is her booty is small. Like it literally has all the qualities of a perfect booty it’s just not big enough to enjoy fully. So one person at a time (this is to the Annie fans)

—‼️‼️ITS ALL OKAY THOUGH BECAUSE WE APPRECIATE ALL BOOTY SIZES HERE ‼️‼️

— Truthfully Annie doesn’t know how to throw it back and she probably doesn’t fully know what it means

— However she won’t let anyone know that. She makes everyone believe she knows exactly what they are talking about

— Annie has such a remarkably smackable ass but sadly she’ll genuinely kill you and hide the body if anyone even laid a hand on her, especially her booty

—THIS IS A WARNING: Do not smack her ass if your wish to see another day and want the cops to be able to find your body.

— GUYS DONT TAKE MY WARNING LIGHTLY. IM OUT HERE TRYNA SAVE LIVES ✊🏽

Bertholdt Hoover

— Bertholdt is like on the very edge of fatty ground. Like brotha barely made it but he’s in there.

— He’s real close to nothing but bones but there is in fact fat there

— Like if you gave that thing a smack your hand is still gonna sting but the blow is slightly cushioned

— HOWEVER Bertholdt has a very odd shaped butt. It’s not rounded or inverted it’s just very square

— like I said before men already have usually square butts but his is on a whole nother level of being shaped like a square and it’s just boxy in general

— blud could put a cardboard box on his butt and it would just fit perfectly 💀

— Another thing is we all know Bertholdt is anxious most of the time and a habit he’s gained is clenching his buttcheeks from nerves-

— It’s not his fault. He just unconsciously does it and he’s done it so much it’s become an instinct at this point.

— He can’t help it guys :(

—Bertholdt most definitely does not even know what throwing it back is and doesn’t wanna find out

— He’s fine with living his life without ever trying to throw it back. If he did know he would probably be too shy to do it in front of people anyways

This is probably the last one of the butt posts I’m going to do because me and my friend didn’t really talk about any other characters

However if you wanna see what we believe a certain character from AOT’s butt looks like just put it in my requests

I’ll try my best to get to them all 🫡

Link to part 1

[bleach-your-panties]

Sincember Event❄️❄️

Rating: Crack/Suggestive🍧🍭

▶️: what you want for christmas - quad city dj's, 69 boyz, & k-nock

“LICK MY BALLS AND I’LL START HOLLIN’ LIKE, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!”

Nahoya basically screamed out as his brother Souya trailed behind him just looking like he wanted to disappear into thin air.

You walked next to your own twin who had a mischievous grin mirroring Smiley’s on her face.

“Oh no…I’m covering my ears now.” You placed both on either side of your head on top of your pink ear muffs.

“LICK THE BOOTY, YOU’LL HAVE ME SQUALLIN’, LIKE LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!” 

Once her mouth closed, you shot her an irritated and embarrassed look.

“You do know that children live in this neighborhood, right?” 

She shrugged with her smile never faltering.

“You know what I always say. Fuck them kids.” 

Not having the mental capacity to uphold this conversation, you gravitate to Souya’s side.

He looked down at you with his typical angry expression plastered across his face, but his cheeks were tinged the slightest bit pink.

“Can we please pretend that we don't know them? Better yet, let’s drop them off at the homeless shelter around the corner. I'm sure the residents there would enjoy two clowns for entertainment.”

You laughed out loud at his suggestion causing the wrinkles in his forehead to visibly relax.

“That's not a bad idea, actually. Though on the other hand, if they get thrown out we'll have a major complaint from the city to deal with.” 

“Yeah, you're probably right about that.” Souya scratched the side of his fluffy blue head.

You and your twin, S/N, had been knowing Nahoya and Souya Kawata for some years now.

After a particularly long, drawn-out meeting of your all-girl biker gang, the two of you decided to grab something to eat one night, thus causing you two to stumble into their restaurant. 

Nahoya was quick to engage the both of you in conversation as both brothers worked on preparing your orders.

When they saw your gang jackets, they began telling you stories of their glory days when they were both known as The Twin Devils.

Ever since then, the four of you had been inseparable.

Which is why you're now all out trekking through a light snowfall in your old neighborhood, singing Christmas carols to inspire some holiday joy.

Well, you don't know what Nahoya and S/N are singing…

“If you two are done sharing a brain cell, we can hit up the next street over.” You said with a shake of your head. Long tresses flipped over your shoulders with the movement.

“Don't be a buzzkill, N/N! We’re just having a bit of fun!” 

“Yeah, N/N! Listen to your sister!” Nahoya chimed in when no one asked.

“Why should I? I'm the older twin and the captain!” You laughed.

The four of you rounded the corner. Every porch was decorated in multicolored Christmas lights with beautifully ornate wreaths attached to the doors.

You and S/N didn’t bring your bikes since Nahoya insisted on driving you all in his brand new, shiny black Cadillac truck which he'd left parked on this street and dared somebody to touch.

“These Christmas carols are for old people. It’s time to make things a bit more interesting.”

“More interesting than what you two were just doing?” Souya complained with a roll of his eyes.

Smiley just ignored him and, with that signature grin of his, pressed play on the radio in the car:

Hey player! What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

(Come on come on come on!)

What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

You almost screamed when Nahoya hopped up on the roof of the truck and started dancing, scared that he was going to fall.

I want a lil bit of this and I want a lil bit of that

I want a whole lot of this and I want a whole lot of that!

“Look here Santa Claus, this the deal

On Christmas, you got to keep it real

Imma go to da club on Christmas Eve 

And when I come home I wanna see,

Gifts underneath my Christmas tree

With a big booty girl that you left for me

Stockings on my fireplace

Full of that eggnog alizé

And if it ain’t too much to ask

Can you leave me a lil extra cash?

Cause I ain’t gone lie

All these Christmas lights got my light bill high”

You and Souya just looked on in slight astonishment as Nahoya belted out the lyrics like second nature, while also rolling his hips and popping his dick…

S/N started laughing and dancing on the side of the truck.

“I ain’t got no chocolate chips

To go along with no glass of milk

But I got some chips and dip, baby” 

Kool-Aid to sip, baby”

He had an arm thrown behind his peach-colored head as he dipped his pelvis back and forth.

“Imma leave the club at a quarter ‘til four

And all I wanna see when I hit the door

These twelve things on my Christmas list

And it goes a lil something like this:”

“Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em I guess.” You grinned at Souya who blushed again then shrugged.

You started shaking your tambourine and hitting it against your open palm while Souya started beat-boxing into his hands.

“I want a 12-disc changer

11 filly blunts

10 karat gold

9 Sega tapes

8 gold teeth

7 pairs of jeans

6 pack of beer

He paused dramatically, 

“5 fresh gold chainnnnnns”

Souya snorted hard into his hands, making you giggle.

“4 thirty smokers

3 pack of draws

2 girlfriends

With a Cadillac to put it all in!”

You turned to Souya with a smile, “Hey player, what you gonna get her for Christmas?”

He immediately responded, “Girl, what you gonna get that boy?”

“OH BABY, BABY!” Nahoya screamed out.

Hey player! What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

(Come on now!)

What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

(Ride out now!)

I want a lil bit of this and I want a lil bit of that

I want a whole lot of this and I want a whole lot of that!

“Say what?!”

S/N jumped in with the next verse:

“Christmas Day, the birth of Christ, no doubt

That’s what it’s all about

Smiley stop the beat for a sec

Show some respect

You all paused before resuming.

“Santa Claus, what’s up with you?”

Tell S/N what you gone do

Cause I want everything I say

When I wake up on Christmas Day

Help me out if you can

Cause I need a real good man

Cute with a whole lot of cash flow

Standing underneath my mistletoe

And it ain’t no ifs, ands, or no buts

Gone and fill my stocking up

With a lot of shoes, a lot of clothes

A lot of cash, a lot of gold

S/N want a lot of stuff

So if you think you got enough

Get ready, cause my Christmas list

Goes a lil something like this:”

“You better be taking notes, Smiley.” You giggled. He just continued grinning while Souya and you squatted down and rode the beat with her.

“I want 12 hundred dollars

11 pairs of shoes

10 fingernails

9 packs of weave

8 male strippers

7 bus passes

6 diamond rings”

She paused just like Smiley had,

“5 months free reeeent!” 

The three of you burst out laughing at her.

“4 bangles

3 pocketbooks

2 earrings

And a man with a lot of money!”

“I’m right here, baby!” Smiley threw his arms in the air.

“Oh baby, come on!” You and Souya started bumping elbows and rolling your hips like Smiley was while S/N twerked against the passenger side door.

Some of the houses’ lights flicked on and a few people even came outside to dance with you all.

Ahh, baby baby!

Come on!

Ahh, baby baby!

Come on now!

Hey player! What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

(Come on come on come on!)

What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

Hey player! What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

(Come on come on come on!)

What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

Hey player! What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

(Come on come on come on!)

What you gonna get her for Christmas?

Girl, what you gonna get that boy?

—-

After your little performance, one of the neighbors offered to fix you all a plate of cookies and some hot cocoa since they were so entertained by your display.

Your sister went along with the twins to help them carry the stuff out while you sat down in Smiley’s truck to catch your breath and put your tambourine away. You would need it for church on Sunday.

You knew it had to be getting extremely late now since the houses started to go dark. Nobody wanted a high ass light bill to pay in January.

The driver side door opened and a weight settled into the seat beside you. As you turned your head, the light over your head had already gone dark again, preventing you from seeing who it was.

When you felt a soft brush of curls against your cheek and the deep smell of men’s cologne you certainly knew  that it wasn’t your sister.

“Hey, took you long enough. Where’s S/N?”

He just chuckled and palmed your chin, bringing it up so he could breathe his warm breath over your glossy lips.

“Don’t worry, my brother is keeping her occupied.”

----

ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵉⁿᵗˢ🫶🏽

[bittengalaxies]

Kinktober Day 22: Uniform & Wilford

275 words

Wilford, GN!Reader DA

Contains: ...Dom voice??? That's all I got here.

"Pumpkin, look what I found!"

You look up from your book, ready to be exasperated by whatever new ridiculous thing Wilford's found, only to choke on air. You were expecting...well, what could you really expect from Wilford? The only thing that stayed consistent with him is that pink would manifest somewhere in whatever he was wearing...which is why you absolutely weren't prepared for...this.

It was one of those incredibly tacky plastic and spandex sexy Halloween costumes, a military uniform in bright pink. It was definitely not a set meant for someone without an impressively large chest, but that also meant that it was stretched across Wilford's chest, letting you see just how defined his muscles were. The little shorts would have been better off acting as a thong on him.

You hated how it made your face burn. There was nothing hidden here.

"Wh-I-Wil, why?" were the only words you could get out, much to his bright burst of laughter.

"I was in the military once, you know, a long time again." The soft, warm smile matched the little cock of his head, and you really couldn't see that man doing well with that kind of structure. That sounded ridiculous. "I thought, maybe I could bring it into the bedroom."

"A...wait? Wil, lovingly, I don't think--"

"Kneel." Your knees hit the floor before you even realized you were out of your seat, looking up at him with wide eyes and a burning that flooded all of you. He had barked the order, leaving no room for questioning. You were going to be in for an intense night...once you got past the neon-pink camo booty shorts.

[silent-raven13]

HIMBO SPIDIES EVERYWHERE!

Peter Parker sighs: Wade, I'm not supposed to bring you here! You're lucky you got the Tour bracelet for the day! -He saw his fellow friend, Deadpool bouncing around-

Deadpool giggling like a fangirl: OMG! OMG! OMG! Spidy, look! -he points at the Spidermen with plush thick booties- I died and went to heaven! HIMBO SPIDIES EVERYWHERE! -fangirling so hard-

Peter cursed under his breath: I should've never told him.

Peter B.: Hey, Peter! What's up, who's your friend? -he slurps his soda having to carrying his daughter in his baby carrier-

Mayday waves: Hi-hi!

Deadpool gasps: Oh my gawd, look at her wittle socks- -He gasps louder- AND SHE GOT WITTLE FLOWERS!

Mayday giggles with her feet kicking: Hehehe

Peter sighs: This is my friend, Wade...

Deadpool hushes him: No Spidy! I'm Deadpool! You gotta keep my identity a -whispers in Peter's ear- secret!

Peter B slurps: Quite the friend you got there, Pete!

Peter groans: He's been begging me to bring him here. I had to do graveyard work for Jess' to let him come for the day! -Deadpool going all around the headquarters being so excited! He was more excited with the Spidermen with the nice rears-

Deadpool saw Petie: Ohh, look the dum truck on that one and those! -Unware that Petie talking to Miguel, Ben, Miguel, and another Spiderman-

Petie being casual: So, I'm thinking we should more team A into the left instead of the rig- -he stop himself feeling hands groping his butt. He looks over finding a strange guy in a black and red suit who happily giggles- Wha- Hey!

Deadpool giggles: Hey, gorgeous! -happily grabbing Petie's rear- You got some nice cake for a Peter Parker!

Miguel: Oye Cabrón! What da the hell you think you're doing! -He shouted out loud with his fangs out. Petie trembling with fear having to go behind Alpha and Miguel-

Petie: He touched me!

Deadpool: Oh don't worry! I'm all equal!

Alpha scowls: Listen asshole, you don't pull a -He grunts angrily feeling Deadpool's hands on his rear- HEY, Stop! I'ma kill you!

Miguel growls: WHO BROUGHT THIS HERE! -he scowls having a red tint on his face when he felt Deadpool's hands groping his rear-

Deadpool: Wow, so toned... so soft! -he turns to the fourth wall- Hey, you guys asked for this. Ya'll wanted know how sweet his cake is! Honk! Honk! Hehehe -he pinches Miguel's rear-

Miguel's talons came out ready to strike: You got five seconds to stop touching me!

Petie looks so confused: Who's he talking too?

Alpha: This man is derange! I'll end his misery!

Deadpool giggles: Honestly, I like the first Peter's cake... it's much softer like pillows. Alpha's too hard. Miguel's is just right, but I like them soft! -Alpha and Miguel gotten more angry by his words, while Petie blush-

Peter: Wait! He's my friend! WADE, stop it!

Deadpool happily went over to carry Peter: Yeah, this is my boo! -he turns to the fourth wall- Looks familiar, huh?

Peter: Put me down, Wade!

Deadpool: Nuh-uh! Let's get out of here before Mr. Dracula bites me! -he carries off Peter to escape two angry Spidermen.-

Peter B. slurps his soda with his daughter as they watch: You know, it never gets boring here, huh May? -he looks down at his kid-

Mayday: Nuh Uh -agreeing with her dad-

Deadpool carrying Peter in bridal style getting away from Miguel and Alpha. Peter with his arms crossed being annoyed, then he arched his eyebrow spotting two similar younger Spidermen.

Hobie running off with Miles in his arms in bridal style form, too. Miles rolled his eyes, when Hobie took him away from their friend being jealous. He wanted to snuggle and cuddle with Miles all to himself. Miles spotted a Spidermen being carried off going in the same direction: You too, huh?

Peter: Yeah...

Hobie turns to Deadpool as they ran in the safe pace: Ello, mate. What brings you here?

Deadpool: And you know, escaping ole' Dracula and his werewolf! -implying Miguel and Alpha-

Hobie: Ah, they are terrible, aren't they?

Deadpool: They are! I'm here saving my baby!

Hobie: Same here!

They're partners rolling their eyes having their arms crossed being carried off to God knows where.

[oh-no-its-dragons]

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen

yet another crack fic written for the Rider's Quadrant discord server.

"My fellow cadets, I stand before you today because I have not yet been run off stage by the Commandant. I estimate I have about five minutes before he finds the underpants cache and I become the first lieutenant to be court marshaled before receiving my orders, so please listen up and don't throw eggs until I'm done."

At the side of the dais, three of the wingleaders were watching with wide-eyed shock. The fourth was pressing her palm to her her forehead as if she suddenly had a headache.

"I honestly never thought I'd make it to graduation, and not only because my boyfriend graduated last year and I haven't seen him in four months. No, I didn't think I'd make it here because my goal in life was to get murdered for bad puns before I could die in battle. The only reason I'm still alive is because of my wingleader, Rhiannon Mathias. Let's hear it for Mathias, fourth wing!"

"I am not responsible for your shenanigans, Gamlyn!" she yelled back.

"That's the leadership we love! Thank you, Wingleader! Now, for the first and second years, I have some advice for you:" He pulled out some scraps of paper from his pocket, trying to read his handwriting. "Uhhh… wear sunscreen? I guess that's good advice but it's not what I was looking for." He let that card drop to the ground. "For Aotrom: jingly tail bells, flock of threeps. Threeps? Wow, I was drunk last night." That card fluttered down as well.

"Oh! I found it!" Ridoc waved the card around over his head, and when he spoke again his voice was amplified with lesser magic. "Bodhi, make your booty go da-na da-na!"

Recognizing the cue, a loud "roar!" answered back and Aotrom flew into view above the wall, circling once before landing on the edge. Ridoc laughed and leapt from the dais, running past the confused cadets and vaulting up to find his seat on his dragon's back.

"Stop! STOP THAT!" Everyone turned back to see Panchek had arrived, wearing his uniform top and a towel wrapped around his waist. "That's an order!"

"Yeah, sorry, I decided I'm defecting to Tyrrendor. There's an absolutely dreamy man waiting for me, and he's got much better calves than you!" Aotrom took to the air, Ridoc shouting "yee haw!" as they shot into the sky.

Commandant Panchek crossed the dais with an impressive amount of self-confidence, given he was barefoot and in apparent danger of losing his towel to the rush of wind that resulted from Aotrom's flight. "Cadets, it seems Generals Melgren and Aetos have been regretfully delayed due to… shenanigans. Graduation will be held tomorrow."

As the cadets began to disperse in confusion and excitement, he turned to the Wingleaders of third and fourth wing. "Wingleaders Rhiannon Mathias and Emma Yanny, I need you to assist with a recovery mission of utmost discretion. Do you understand?"

The two riders looked at each other and their eyes met in shared understanding. "Is this about the… ah… underwear, Commandant?" Rhiannon asked.

"Yes, Mathias."

"Am I given to understand that General Melgren and General Aetos are also… in a similar situation?" the other wingleader asked.

"Yes, Yanny." Panchek glared. "Now are you ready for your orders?"

Rhiannon gave him an awkward shrug. "No offense, but I think I'd rather defect to than have to touch Melgren's underwear. I'm out."

[gloomyluvr]

OPEN ARMS

in which y/n surprises miles with her latest project

fem!cosplayer!reader x 1610!miles morales

fluff

warnings!: veryyy inaccurate depiction of cosplayer!reader. reader doesn’t know miles is spiderman 😭 horrible ending sorryyy

based off this ask

a/n: hiiii. i’ve been meaning to put this out but never got to it sorry. umm sorry for not being active lately 😣 i have no excuses i just haven’t been active 💀 so sorry this took so long and to the person who requested it im so so sorry if its booty! but dw guys imma start being active again 😈

masterlist

“are you almost done?” miles groaned. he was always impatient, but it was worse when it came you. about an hour ago, you had texted miles to come to your place to show him your latest cosplay. 

miles knew of your interest, and he had always supported you. he complimented every one of your cosplays and always helped you take photos to post later. this time, he didn’t even know that you were working on a new cosplay! he felt a little betrayed since he loved going out with you looking for any supplies that you’d need for the costumes or wigs. 

“give me a minute! this spandex is a bit difficult to put on!” you yelled from your room. 

“spandex?” miles whispered to himself. now he was only more curious. and you were still taking your sweet ass time. in your room, you looked around on the floor looking for the red jordans spiderman sported (which thankfully, you had a pair of!)

“where the hell are they?” you grumbled to yourself. you sighed when you remembered you’d left them next to the couch where miles was sitting. 

“miles!” you yelled.

“yeah baby?” 

“can you get the shoes you bought me and bring them over here!” 

“uhh sure! where are they?”

“they should be right next to where you’re sitting!” miles looked around until he found the red shoes. he picked them up and left them by the door of your room.

“okay i left them by your door!”  

“thanks, love!” you waited until you heard the couch squeak, confirming that miles was no longer near your door. quickly (but not so swiftly) you got the shoes, hitting your hand against the door as you tried to pull the shoes towards you. you slammed the door shut, cursing yourself as you finally put on the last piece of your costume.

“close your eyes!!!” you yelled to your lover.

miles was giddy. he couldn’t wait to see what you had put together this time. he hadn’t seen you yet, but he already knew you looked great! with his tightly shut eyes, miles heard the door open followed by the sound of your footsteps that stopped in front of him. 

“open!”

miles looked up at you and very quickly noticed the familiar colors and design. it was his suit! 

“ta da!!!” you announced, posing with your hands out like spiderman does when he shoots his weird web thing. 

miles smiled widely, he couldn’t believe his eyes. not only did the suit look amazing on you and hug your curves in all the right places but it was incredibly accurate!

“baby, you look so good! the suit looks great!” miles held your hand and stood up, “do a lil’ spin for me. how did you get it to look like the real thing?” you did as he asked and giggled at his compliments. 

“his suit is so simple! also, you won’t believe how many photos there are of spiderman! it was just a little hard getting his logo right! it looks like it was spray painted on. i don't know though.” you rambled, and miles listened as he admired you. 

“what’s with the shoes? spiderman doesn’t wear shoes.” miles tried correcting you.

“yes he does! well, he used to! when he first started. they’re the exact same ones too!”

“you remember that? eww, you stalkerrr!” miles joked. 

you playfully rolled your eyes, “whateverrrr. you’re just jealous ‘cause i prefer spiderman over you.”

“you’re fake!” miles pouted and crossed his arms.

“noooo! i’m kidding! i love youuu!” you tried kissing miles but he turned his head away.

“go kiss your spider bae or whatever! he probably lays eggs or some shit.” miles slandered his alter ego. he uncrossed his arms, and dramatically (but gently) pushed you away.

“you’re my only bae, i swear!” you pleaded, attacking him with another hug. you wrapped your arms around him tightly. miles smiled and uncrossed his arms and reciprocated the hug. his hands traveled down to their resting place on your waist. you looked up at him only to find him already looking at you. his gentle brown eyes scanned over your face, admiring every small feature. you smiled before quickly looking away.

“don’t get shy on me now,” he said softly. you buried your face in his chest, embarrassed.

“then stop looking at me like that.” you murmured, even more embarrassed by how you still get so nervous around him. 

“i’m sorry, i can’t help it. not when my novia’s so pretty.” 

“oh my god, you’re so corny!” 

[sissy-xo-ix]

Well, I ended up writing two parts! So here ya go, parts 2 and 3!

Part 2: da rulez

Everything last night was a blur. Allan wasn’t even sure it was real until he opened his eyes and confirmed he was still in the exact position he remembered. He was thickly diapered in a blue and white sailor suit onesie. He had a pacifier in his mouth with a gag wrapped around the rest of his head. He had booties with small spikes in them preventing him from walking, and large padded mitts on his hands that prevented him from grabbing a single thing. He was entirely reliant on Brit, now “Mommy.”

After he had agreed to her request she had smiled and squealed in joy, and immediately rewarded him for being such a “good little boy.” She had started rubbing his diaper slow, just enough to get him into it. As she quickened, his hips began to thrust up and down. It took a few minutes but he got his release, and it felt wonderful.

“Behave,” Mommy said, “and I will have plenty more of this for you. I even have some, uh, items, that you may like.” She flashed a grin.

After his release, she pulled out a bottle and filled it with water. She removed his pacifier gag and handed him the bottle.

“I want you to drink this as I cover a few more of the rules. No talking, from you anyways. I want you to be a good boy and listen quietly. You can ask a few questions when you’re done with your bottle. Okay sweetie?”

Allan nodded his head okay. After the fun he just had at the hands of this beautiful woman, he’d do anything. She had been smart, he really was putty in her hands.

“Okay my sweet baby. Let’s set a few ground rules.

Number one: you are not allowed to take your diaper off for any reason. Only Mommy can do that. Eventually some of Mommy’s friends might be able to, but we will ease into that. Which brings me to number two!

You will be seen like this by other people. You will not complain, throw a fit, and you will not be able to hide. Don’t worry, like I said before we will ease you into it. I know things can be scary but that’s part of being Mommy’s adorable little baby!.”

At the news of being seen by other’s, Allan paused his sucking. He had to admit, this was hot, and he loved the attention from her. But he didn’t want others to see him like this.

Brit noticed the pause and gently reminded him, “keep drinking sweetie. If you don’t finish your bottle by the time I’m done, there may be a small punishment.” At that, Allan remembered her comment earlier that she had some ‘unique’ punishments thought up. He didn’t really want to learn what those were right now, so he started to drink again.

“There’s a good boy! Hm. I may not have to punish you too much if you listen this well. Shall we continue?

Rule number three. If it wasn’t obvious, you have to use your diapers now. The potty is off-limits. Since you’ll be quitting your job and moving in with me after this trip, you won’t have to worry about your coworkers. I will let you still use the potty for #2’s only, and I may let you use the potty for tinkles on certain special occasions, but those will be rare and ONLY when I say, okay? Good.

Next. You will call me Mommy when we are not in public. I am your girlfriend, but I am also Mommy.

Lastly, Mommy makes all the decisions, all the time. Mommy will ALWAYS do what’s best for you, and I will always try to include you, but if I make a decision without you it’s just because I know what’s best for my little baby. This includes feeding, how you dress, where you go, what you do, everything.” As she did that she started to coo and threw in some baby talk. Allan blushed as Brit, ‘Mommy’, giggled.

“Now baby, it’s late and I think we both need our rest. You do still need to finish your job before you become my full time baby! Lets turn in for the night and cuddle. We can talk more tomorrow.”

Part 3: let the anticipation begin.

The day after they met, Brit left to go get her home ready. She left Allan with a few diapers and expected him to put one on each evening before bed, and send her a picture as proof. Once he finished with his trip, he was to travel home and get ready to move. Since he was going to be her baby, he could sell most of his things. Brit wanted all that money to go into a special “good baby” account that they’d use together to celebrate him being a good baby. He still had to wait two more weeks for her to come get him. She was flying all the way out to him, and they would road trip back across the country to her, and his, home. As he posted stuff on Craigslist, it slowly left his home until the only things he had left were his clothes, his car, and a few collectibles and keepsakes that Mommg had let him keep. Tomorrow would be the day. Mommy would be here in the afternoon, and they’d head out that night, getting hotels along the way. He hadn’t had a ‘release’ since she had given him one, and him not wanting to upset her had not given himself one, as badly as he wanted to. The more and more he thought about his future with this gorgeous Mommy, the more pent up he got. He wondered if she’d even find out if he had. Maybe he could give himself a release, just tonight. She’d never know.

So that’s what he did, only it leaked and stained his underwear. So he threw them out. With that, he went to bed, and dreamt of being Mommy’s little baby, the dream that would become a reality…

[plaindangan]

Swindler, doctor, find themselves somehow working for apprentice, and the 3 ladies must investigate a strip club called "Dice"

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

"We're here ladies!!" Pupil announced. She was wearing a tight, striking, black dress with white gloves. The dress itself was long enough to give people a good, long, look at her muscular, long, legs that could crack steel. "You two, are you ready?"

"As if we have a choice~" Doctor said snarkily. She was wearing a a sparkling, low-cut, magenta dress. Something that exposed a good amount of cleavage, and her own soft stomach to boot.

"D-d-does my dress need to be so short?!!!" complained Swindler. She weas wearing a short, dark blue dress, with white highlights...which also had the side effect only barely being able to cover her perky bubble booty.

"Quit complaining, akudama, or do you want me to resume your death sentences?! Our objective is clear. Find and detain the owner of DICE....should be simple enough for you lowlifes. Now let's-"

"GOOD NIGHT~" Huh? As they tried to enter the club, they stopped by a clownish, twintail, woman. "Da boss has been expecting you three!! He wants to talk up in his office!! Follow me~" she said skipping deeper into the raunchy, sketchy, domain filled with people of dubious character.

Yet, it was also clear she was their gateway to said boss...and it's doubtful they'll get such a chance again. As such, Pupil gave a cautious wave for the two criminals behind her to follow along.

After all, surely things can't go south for them...right?

-

"Aaaaaaah, remind me to thank that dweeb for lending me her Flashback Light, m'kay Patchy?~"

"Sllllllllllllrrrrrrrrrppppppp~ Aaaaaahhhhhh, y-yessssh, Maaaaaasteeeeer~"

Yeah, those three stood no chance in Hell. As soon as they entered, all three were hit with a Flashback Light that had them...recalling. Recalling just how empty there lives were without someone to fawn over. Remembering how dull it was to go about their day to dayon the run or working for some stuffy office. Remembering how fucking HORNY all three got when they were just by themselves with no one to give them the dicking they needed~

So when it finally faded and the first thing they say was a twinkish, naked, gremlin, laying back in an armchair and demanding they fuck him...why they just had to oblige~

The first on the seen was Doc, being the horniest of the trio by far. She easily climbed onto his chair and began to initiate a match with Kokichi. Who would pass out first: Kokichi from being smothered by Doc's big, milky, F-cups or Doc as she had to ride Kokichi's seven-inch 'correctional' tool? Well, judging by how Doc was currently sleeping soundly, with her pussy still leaking cream pie...we can safely say Kokichi won.

Swindler was next, having been ordered by Kokichi to bend over his desk. Spreading lies and decieving people...that was his job~ As such, he had to punish her the best way how!! By lubing up and going balls deep inside of her big, meaty, ass, while spanking it repeatedly to no end. Encouraged by Swindler's moans, as well as her cries, Kokichi didn't let go until, just like Doc, Little Miss Swin's booty has been filled with his nutbutter and she was joining Doc in dreamland~

Thus, this left one last person - Pupil, sorry, Patchy~ That'll be her new name now under DICE control and she couldn't be happier. She was naturally submissive to authority, so when Kokichi asked for her mouth to clean his cock, she immediately got on her knees to give him the sucking that he craved...and as a reward? He gave her a nice 'tip' by dumping the rest of his warm load down her parched throat.

The first of a nice snack as her new career in being the DICE club's newest de-stressers~

[heartbrake-hotel]

TIME FOR A WIP TAG GAME 💫

rules: in a new post, post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

oh nooo exposed by smitty for my ridiculous doc names.. how could you DO this to meee 😭 dfghs but thanks for the tag darlin @prompted-wordsmith.!!

(tagged on my main but i thought i'd go ahead and post here instead... if i posted all of my wips for every fandom, we'd be here a month 🤭)

my naming conventions are notably all either coded nonsense only comprehensible to me, or song lyrics that are not, in fact, from the song i Actually titled the fic with.! it got so ridiculous i made a spreadsheet to keep track of their shorthand names, their Real Actual Titles, and their summaries. just so i could always find right what i was looking for. i love to cross-reference ! three cheers for color-coding ! 🎉 luckily for me, said doc came in veryyy handy when it came to copy/pasting for this tag game 😂😂

daddy? sorry, da-

i get no help around this goddamn house

this is the Real t&s

he was the congregations vagrant

cry about it, fucker

the saints we see are all made of gold

all the small things

lover's lover's alibi

he's the one to call (dr. feelgood)

my middle name is miseryyy

ho ho hopefully

this is NOT feederism it is cARETAKING

who do you love

what breed is he just a little guy

toxic las vegas

achy breaky head

catch a falling star💫

being weird together is a love language

oscars flop era

9 to 5

go out by the oak leaf

motorpsyche 🏍️

ive beaten the orange camaro

ginger snapped 🐺

vacation all ive ever wanted

polk salad booty is this anything

some of these have been in the works for YEARS, like.. since the movie actually came out.. i started writing two days after i got home from the theater the first time oOP look y'all know me alright the likelihood any of these will actually make it to posting on this blog is,, uh. Slim !! ngl it's pretty slim. i have wips from over a decade ago that STILL don't feel done enough to publish 🙈 but these in particular are very near and dear to my heart and i'd love to gauge y'all's interest anyway.! so fire away, ask me anything, i love to talk and am always down to gush 👍

tagging: @whositmcwhatsit, @thatbanditqueen, @be-my-ally, @mooodyblue, @vintagepresley, @floralcyanide, @whatstruthgottodowithit,@dreamingofep, @ooihcnoiwlerh, @suraemoon, @vintageshanny, uhhh i panicked at the length of this list and don't know who else writes around here and is left to tag, but pleaseeee take this as an open invitation to join in if you want!! i'd love to see everyone's systems 🥰🥰 and of course no pressure if you don't 👌

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 37, this is Richards POV and shit is about to get even weirder.

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

RICHARD’S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.

“Oh mi fucking satan!11” Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers said. She wuz so hot. “Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1”

“But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,” said Vampire. “Why would u need it?”

“To make everyfing go faster lol.” said Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers.

“But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?” I asked jelosly.

“I am here too and OMFG u guyz r so scary!11” said Britney, a fucking prep.

“Shut the fuk up!1” said Willow.

“Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry’s room.”

Richard, Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers and I went to Profesor Siniater’s room. I don't know how I'm here twice but sure. But Profesor Sinister wasn’t there. Instead Tom Rid was.

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said ‘Booty Slut’ on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

“OMG fangz!” I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag. I love dressing in drag!

“OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?” asked Richard. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

“Oh my fuking satan!1” I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. Classes shal be taught by Daddy Till who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.

“OMFG!111” I shoted arngrily. “How could they do that!11”

Suddenly Daddy Till came.

“WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1” he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Richard and Vampire. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was……………Profesor Slutborn’s efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz……..Profesor Slutgorn!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

“Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class.” you said finally hoping he couldn’t c da potion in ur pocket.

“Oh ok u can go now.” said Profesor Slutborn.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

“Oh hi you guys.” I said seductively. “Wheres Satan?”

“Oh he’s cumming.” said Serious. “BTW u can kall me Hades now.” Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.

“Ok I will see you guyz at da concert.” I said and then I went with Satan. 

[christmascookiediary]

Famous people that people think are good looking but i dont:

1. Micheal jordan - nothing about him is attractive except his bank account

2. Brad pitt - he is quite average looking but he aged well so ig

3. Leonardo caprisun - i used to think him and leo da vinci were the same person, but anyways this one i truly dont get he has a weird face and kinda short

4. Nate jacobs - his eyes point downwards and just not it

5 Jennifer aniston - her face is flat either way a big chin but she kinda looked nice in that zoom call w brad

6. Angelina jolly - she isnt that pretty

7. A whole bunch of rappers like xxtentacation

8. Scralet johnason - absolutely not

9. Candice swanepeol - her body banging but her face got banged into a wall

10. Miranda kerr - very wide face and i dont like dimples but atleast the eye distance balances out her nose

11. A bunch of vs models like rosie hutchen she also got a big nose

12. Those russian doll models from the 2000s

13. Gisele bunchden - look like a a lion that got squashed between two elephants

14. Selena gomez - moomoo girl

15. Emma stone and a bunch of other mid female actors and emmas

16. Ryan gosling and reynold - mother nature, may you just please space people’s eyes correctly

17. Nina dobrev and all the other mid actresses with bug eyes like emma stone,

18. Most white passing people with brown eyes and brown hair

19. A whole bunch of models especially female because theyre so malnourished they lose female hormones

20. Tyra banks - crazy eyes, its not unique and fierce its just nutjob and freak

21. Those chicks that look like sandra bullock and gal gadot

22. Anyone with bug eyes, nasties

23. Jenny from blackpink

24 wongyoung - i dont like ‘puppy’ eyes because they just look low intelligence, whiny, and less attractive that upturned eyes

25 - douyin makeup - i hate you and the people that do it

26 a bunch of chinese celebrities, just looks like discount white people

27 those black or lightskin dudes that arent even attractive for their face but for their dreads

28 men who look like felons - mentally ill women, its not cute

29 anyone who gets told they look like brad pitt

30 - overly bulky dudes - just like women with a stupid bbl, you guys only attract ghetto weirdos

31 - austin butler - i dont think anyones actually calling him cute

32 people like shawn mendes, slightly above average with a massive money status halo

33 people who arent actually good looking but just grooms themselves alot, like shawn mendes

34 big booty latinas - highly overrated

35 people with annoying accents and voices

36 girls who are attracted to older men or men with masks or military uniforms - no, everyone knows youre a rank girl officer

37 basic people, mainly because for some reason youre all mean on average

38 people who have annoying mannerisms

39 people who are rude

40 people who let their anger out on others

41 anyone who i deem as a waste of oxygen

42 unkind people - youre ugliness is showing xx

43 ratchets who are always looking for a fight

44 people who think theyre gang but have no reason to be - go and move to the streets if you wanna be from the hood so badly

45 people from the hood in general

46. Basically just anyone who is think is not good looking and people who have rotten personalities no inner light

Dishonorable mentions : ann hathaway - she kinda cute, joghnny depp - not as cute as people say he is but he alr

People that i dislike - no explanation needed

People who i hate - at the bottom of the list where you should be in life

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

Which of the gods, then, instigated the beef?

Apollo, son of Leto and Zeus,

who could not even with Agamemnon,

raised a pandemic through the army;

the homies were unalived

bc Agamemnon was in his villain era.

When the priest Chryses invited himself

to Greeks’ ships

bringing hella drip to ransom his daughter,

holding in his hands the golden selfie-stick

of Apollo who yeets from afar,

and went Bernie Sanders on the Greeks like:

“Sons of Atreus, and all you other strong-greaved mother-fuckers, I am was once again asking you to release your side-hoe and instead take this swag-bag, stanning Apollo who yeets from afar.”

Quoth the Greeks: “bet!” because they really liked all the cool stuff he brought.

But Agamemnon said, “Bitch, this shit does not spark joy. I will never release bae bc we do be fuqin. Now get your saggy ass off my boat.”

Chryses was shook, for hella old was he and the sons of Atreus were unnecessarily aggro. He took a long walk on the beach, praying to Apollo:

“Hear me, god of the silver bow, if ever I burned as a sacrifice to you the thicccc thighs of goats and bulls—- do me this solid:

cancel those shady ass Greeks. Periodt.

Thus he popped off, and Apollo heard him,

and set out from the heights of Olympus,

tweakin out of his damn mind.

Then, socially distanced from the ships,

he popped a squat,

and fucking sent an arrow.

First he went for the mules and the doggos (RIP) but then he unalived the homies themselves,

and the crowded pyres of the dead burned for a hot minute, pun intended.

Nine days the shafts of the god yeeted through the army,

and on the tenth, Achilles assembled the squad and addressed them:

“Ayo, this pandemic got us lost in the sauce. But come, let us ask our life-coach what tf even.”

Thus Achilles spoke and sat down. Then stood among them Calcus, far the most legit life-coach, who knew tea that is, tea to come, and tea that had gone before.

He in his wisdom spoke:

“O Achilles, main character, you bid me state the reason for the bad vibes, but someone’s not gonna like it so before I share the tea, you Achilles must swear to protect me.”

Then answering him, Achilles spoke, “go off. I gotchu, fam.”

So Calcus was like, “it is not with prayer, nor with sacrifice that Apollo is tweaked, but for the sake of his priest, whom Agamemnon dissed. He will not cancel the pandemic until Agamemnon gives back the Trojan hoe.”

Thus speaking, he sat down; and then rose among the squad main-baddie Agamemnon like, “Prophet of bad vibes, you say that the Archer who yeets from afar causes our affliction because I did not accept the ransom for my side-hoe, since she is a legit snack; for I greatly prefer her to Clytemnestra, my main-hoe, as she is not inferior to her in thiccccccness of ass, nor the making of sammich.

Even so, I am willing to deport her hoe ass

lest the gods unalive my men.

But make ready a new honey at once, as befits my cred, as bae finna peace out.”

Then answered him god-tier Achilles, “Oof, that’s tricky.”

Then answering him spoke big-baller Agamemnon, “You ain’t sly, god-tier Achilles. How about you can lemme smash your own number 1 booty call Briseïs, and we’ll call it good.”

And then Achilles said, “Pffft. As if. My rizz is more fire than yours and score the most Ws against the Trojans. My butt hurts and I’m going home. So fuck you, Dad— uh, I mean king.

And Agamemnon said, “Cool story. I’m still coming to your tent later to smash your boo for my own bad self.

But the big sads had already descended upon Achilles and the heart in his swole AF chest debated two ways,

where he should shank Agamemnon with his pointy sword

or if he should take several seats and #chill.

But Achilles was #nochill. As he drew his pointy sword, Athena came to him from heaven, seized him by the mullet, and was all like, “Ayo, check yourself before you wreck yourself. You’re gay. Why do you even care?”

“You’re so valid for that, O Goddess,” spoke Patroclus, roommate of beefcake Achilles, with whom he had butt seggs every day.

Achilles was deep shook, for he recognized the goddess at once by her fierce RBF. He said, “hey girl, I’m finna shank this mofo. Are you here to watch?”

Then fierce Athena addressed him, “OMFG could you not? Pro strat: come at him with sick burns instead.”

Achilles understood the assignment. Thus did the son of Peleus clap back, “Ok boomer. If you ever went into battle like the rest of everyone, you’d wouldn’t need to pilfer my swag nor my fly honies. You’re lame. Achilles out.”

Thus did Achilles, MVP of the Achaeans cancel himself.

@each-uisge achem

Go off, Muse, of unhinged Achilles,

who cost the Greeks like so many Ls,

and yeeted countless souls of dank heroes

into Hades' big dark,

making their bodies into snack for doggos

and all kinds of birbs.*

Begin with the how Agamemnon--

CEO of men--

deadass canceled the main character.

*edit