#do forgive the typos too

[polarisbibliotheque]

To my peeps on the Shall Never Surrender project I haven't finished the requests yet and are wondering "what the hell, dude"

I just sketched Dante and Vergil for the first time again after, literally, more than 1 year.

And Vergil looks like Billy Idol 🙃

I'm trying to redraw an old drawing and maaaaaan, I couldn't get his proportions right for ANYTHING in this world hahahaha

Our rebel Vergil right there 🖤 *cries in the corner*

And Dante, as always, is so easy to get right. I love this man

I'm going for a redraw of a redraw. It'll probably be interesting if I get to finish!

(And just realised I gave an oc of mine Dante's hair while I was going for a Farah Fawcett look *cries again)

After I warm up and I'm actually able to draw them decently, I'll be picking up the requests!! Hopefully this week still!!

After Billy Idol Vergil stops haunting my dreams 🥲

[canonkiller]

but you can't keep holding on like this.

[ketterdamskaelishprince]

ada's spectre, and why i'll likely always feel sad about it

here is the promised analysis/talk about ada's spectre. going to preface this by saying i obviously don't know the true intent behind everything and her design, i just like to look, giggle and then make sad little observations which just help me love this silly webcomic even more. so if you disagree with me on something– totally ok! i love to learn and i love to see different interpretations.

there's also a few bits i missed out because i wrote this all last night in a bit of a haze, and i cannot be bothered to expand on some of my ideas, especially when it's just stuff like "BROS SO PARANOID AND RAW RIGHT NOW".

anyways, here we go :) @mugcereal this one's for u pookie <3

so i think with ada's spectre, we first need to look at the instance as to how she gets it, because that always makes things way more sad!

to specify, she turns into her spectre at episode 69, and i think it's really sad how she does it. she basically gets a string of roasts from prospero that go along the lines of calling her "conceited" "twadry" and "... and stupid!" – effectively throwing back in ada's face what she believes everyone thinks of her.

(obviously, as a very big and glaring sidenote, i believe prospero is aro/ace or just aromantic so OBVIOUSLY i am not bashing him for this. bros told her so many times that he doesn't want to be with her, let alone to be touched. that is a flaw in ada's character and is a reminder to us on the importance of boundaries!!!!)

so, ada is basically there, collapsed on the floor in a robe– effectively showing the most intimate and private part of herself as an insecure and lonely girl. and that's when she transforms.

i think it's interesting to understand how this most likely links to her life and how she died. so we know she was killed with an axe, most likely by the man she fell in love with and worked for, and how prospero's words in this situation, hurt her just the same as the words before her death. why?

because they remind ada of what she knows and fears she is: just a stupid, fake and cheap person who will never have the same status and respect as the people she pretends to be and surrounds herself by.

i think it's also interesting that she's clutching her stomach/torso here, and correct me if i'm wrong but that could be a potential signal to the part of her that was axed to death (?). no idea if that's a good shout or not but it's what i first thought!

anyways! now we move onto her spectre design!

first of all, her spectre design eats. like just a personal side note, i love it. it's just so gorgeous and i don't care if she's terrifying to some because to ME? to me, she's my gorgeous little pookie who can scream and show people their worst fears and she looks amazing whilst she does it <3

ok anyways, actual design.

to first understand her design, i thought i'd show you what banshee's traditionally in folklore look like!

typically, they are described in two ways. the first way is a youthful women with long black hair, blue eyes and just super pale. this description could also lose the blue eyes and just keep the black hair– either way the first depiction of a banshee is a super young woman.

this is not the one we're focussing on today folks!

we're going to focus on the second depiction. a hag/ old woman, with red cheeks, a grey cloak and a green dress, often seen to be combing her hair. banshee's throughout folklore are known to wail, scream and cry when a family member had died. to most, the banshee was a sign that death was coming to your household and they are known in myths and folklore as a predictor of death.

now, hold onto the green dress and look at ada's design real quick for me.

here we see a lot of green, which yay! definitely shows signs it comes from the second depiction. i think, on top of it being a nod to the second depiction, i think it could also be an allusion to something else: jealousy.

green symbolism in media can often vary, from meaning new life, luck and also jealousy. and i think if we take in the things ada screams whilst in her spectre form, such as this from episode 82:

you see there definitely is some sort of jealousy there, but this isn't something i necessarily want to focus on, it's just an observation i made that may or may not be true!

anyways, to continue, i want to look at ada's outfit when she's a banshee. i'm going to basically be making my notes i took last night look nicer.

(keep in mind that when i wrote these, my ideas were literally bouncing off my brain and sometimes they're a bit contradictory, but i think that's the beauty of my crack theory analysis!)

i think the act of almost showing her bones to the outside, there's a level of rawness to ada we don't usually see. her spectre form essentially gives her the power to scream out her anger, and by seeing her bones it's almost as if to say this is the ada she doesn't show people. this is the ada that she keeps to herself because god forbid anybody love her (because in life and death it's become abundantly apparent to her that nobody does seem to love that ada).

but then, what i thought was also a super cool thing as how the bones almost act like a corset!

then i got sad because i looked at the bows, and because something dawned on me and it made me start to frown. there was a sad realization to me as i looked at ada's spectre design that even in this all powerful form, she hasn't lost her insecurities, they just become more prevellant. because for all of the traditional wrinkles, hag-like appearance a banshee is meant to have, ada barely has any.

obviously this could be in part to character design and stuff, and yeah probably– but let me be sad!

because ada carries her frills and bows from life here because she doesn't want to be ugly, she doesn't want to be this creeping monster who rips apart people. because if she's not got her intelligence or status or anything going for her, she has her appearance and by god she's not going to let that go to waste. so here her spectre form is, a banshee.

so what must ada do? she must takes her frills and keep her insecurities, her fears and her crippling need to be loved.

another aspect which is super interesting is the stitching on her body. one one hand, it could be an allusion to her violent death, suggesting the man she fell in love with didn't just stop at axing her once, but just kept on fucking going (which, you know: fuck you, whoever you are).

but on the other hand, it could be a metaphor for ada's thinly veiled facade she puts on of being a prim and proper lady (which we actually, interestingly enough, see she looses a lot the more time she spends with montresor– opting to take parts of his language like "ain't" and "beggin'". this sort of leads on from previous ideas people have made of ada willing to change herself to be loved. she swaps civility for the wild wild west all for a bit of love).

ada offers up parts of herself in this metaphor. that's what she always does. she offers herself to the rich man she fell in love with, she offers herself up to prospero (again, look at the. side note. bro wasn't wrong for rejecting her he literally can't like her) and she offers herself up to the acolytes and she fucking barks for them (because i'm not over that).

piece by piece, she strips away everything she is until she literally is just skin and bone. and once she's torn herself apart, she needs to stitch herself back together– because it's against the facade she's put on to look so broken and messy. and so she repeats the cycle again, giving more and more until she is literally hanging on by a thread.

her powers are also super cool. traditionally, as i said, banshees wail when a family member is soon to die/has died, and is often like an omen/predictor of death. so yeah, ada having a banshee scream makes sense. but the whole 'fear itself' is also super cool. i kind of like that she has this– because its sort of satisfying for her, the girl who's been pushed over but still comes running back, to watch as people become paralysed with fear. idk, retribution or whatever.

i'm going to leave you with this not very profound thing i wrote last night (and then just some other mumblings):

i think that although spectres are super powerful and also just a very fantastic concept, they're also fragile. spectres are quite literally the monster inside of you. yet here ada's monster is, and with all her bows and revamped dress of a banshee (or potentially an allusion to her life as a maid) she tries desperately to be anything but that. because to here it's ugly and it's too much of her on display. and with some much of you on display comes the very fear that if you are hated, disliked or something repulsive, you no longer have anything to blame on anybody else. you just have yourself to blame.

(as morella says here in episode 88).

i'm not saying ada isn't deeply flawed, because she is. she has so much fucking baggage and insecurities that they literally forbid her from doing the right thing sometimes. i don't think she's a good person, but i also think that she has the opportunity to be a good person/ do a semi-good/ non-bad thing, and all she has to do is take it. but i also think it's nice how that's shown in her spectre design.

and, you know, if none of this makes sense, that's also fine!

anyways, yeah. somebody tell me never to make a random analysis at night again because it's a bit of a bitch to translate in the morning.

[iniziare]

Following my usual daily ventures on X and Tumblr, I realized that there's two things that I wanted to address/bring up. So, as per usual: spoilers. /echo, echo.

— The Fade prison is still failing. It needed replacement (which is referenced on several occasions, but a big one is during the memory with Mythal that expands on the DAI scene), and nothing in current lore tells me that this has changed in any way: it's still failing. Nothing I can find says that it now being bound to Solas, who is decently weaker than Elgar'nan, magically 'resolves' that issue. Therefore, his 'atonement' doesn't automatically equate to an 'eternal imprisonment', even if Lavellan's choice of words for going with him include 'forever', for she simply doesn't know what she's walking into or for how long, and instead enforces this tether to him from the deepest form of trust one one else could ever find (heartbreak.mp3). The atonement lasts as long as Rook decides as they hold the dagger, or until the Veil falls on its own. But that touches on another topic briefly: if you want to 'punish' Solas the most, or longest— though this ending is 'kindest' (not quite), it is the one that keeps him in the prison the longest. The dagger trick (this warrants a post on its own, and it's the only one I have writing beef with, character 'bias' aside), or the worst ending(s) all send the lyrium dagger with him, which, has you wonder if he's then simply given the opportunity to slice into the Veil, and slip out. Does the prison need a host, if said host holds the lyrium dagger? And even if he couldn't what could he do from inside after 'Pride' has been taunted, and 'punished' (in Rook's, and the audience's eyes), since again, he is in possession of his dagger? There is no atonement here, only resentment from a spirit that is now even closer to finding its fully perverted nature of a Pride demon. So I think if speaking morally across the board, which option is really 'for the greater good of Thedas', instead of personal resentment (though understandable)? But in that, I like that we're repeatedly told that we don't know, and we're making it up as we go. Out of all protagonists, Rook's personal journey of mental development is the most intriguing to me, and arguably (in my opinion), is the most 'human' in the sense that I think they give us the most relatable options of choice, understandable/relatable resentment being one of them. But anyway, I digress: if the atonement ending isn't chosen, then I definitely think the story isn't quite concluded, even though I don't believe that it ever really is.

— Blood magic. No, Solas has no loathing for the nature of blood magic at its essence. He stated so very clearly back in DAI during a conversation with the Inquisitor in Haven, and the bit of the conversation that pertains to my point goes as follows: 'Magic is magic, just as water is water, but it can be used in different ways. (...) Dalish magic is more practical, not needing Chantry approval, although they still frown on blood magic. Superstition.' And when you ask him to elaborate, 'You said censure against blood magic was a superstition...' He adds: 'Most modern cultures forbid blood magic. Publicly, even Tevinter disapproves of it. But as I said, magic is magic. It matters only in how it is used.' And yes, I can already hear it, I know exactly what point will be brought up (lucky me, I found a video that touches on this exact topic that showcases both scenes): and I want to say firmly that no, this is not a retcon, nor is it Solas changing his mind, nor is this a total and utter lie (he rarely, rarely lies that fully, and clearly). He simply states that he abhors the use of it, as in— he, himself, despises using it; which is why he so firmly says no to Cole, when the notion is brought up in DAI. Now yes, he did employ the use of blood magic in relation to Rook (the extents, I need to do research on, as it's obvious that Solas absolutely winged that part of this 'plan', but all of it is also a bit flimsily written due to, for starters, the details that Varric shares being incredibly personal at times, but I digress), and I see so many on X and whatnot complain of how this means that 'Solas changed his mind', no— what it intends to show you, is the ferocity with which he believes that he, and only he, is able to fix what he broke. The game intends to show you that over, and over again, and it is to prove just how far a spirit can be pushed from where it started. And no, stop approaching Solas as if he is your regular elf next door, or anything but exactly what he is: a spirit. Trying to sway a spirit from its nature is incredibly difficult (we'll go into Mythal, and the nature of his care, and devotion to her that started the journey of his spirit's perversion, another day), and that is literally the explanation behind what people are calling an 'inconsistency'. It's called desperation, but more so, the strength of a belief, or more specifically, how far something that is akin to being... the 'personification' of a belief can go in, well, its own belief. I think Solas has proven that one can go very far. The perversion of spirits, and the reality of what demons then truly are, is a tragedy that Dragon Age has been trying to prove to us for years. It doesn't take away the wrongs that they can do once they get twisted, but it's tragic, because spirits are benevolent; serene, and peaceful at their core. And it's kind of heartbreaking to know that something so purely good, can be pulled from that nature.

[spectreofthewoods]

.

[kate-m-art]

Keep seeing Zelda movie news reactions and like feel like my only contribution right now is I'd much prefer live action to an illumination style animated movie...

[nenoname]

“he almost never called him stanford.” “he almost always called him stanley.” (names, nicknames and their meanings over two lives)

update! channeling my ‘oh god studying something i hate is insanely boring and difficult i'm losing it’ onto stan and me being v sleepy onto ford

[dingoat]

👿 - An Enemy for Ahsuka

I could almost say that one of Ahuska's greatest enemies throughout her various stories is her self esteem, haha, it's definitely one of the things she's battled most consistently against! But there are a few figures who have passed through her life that she would consider an enemy, one quite notably being a fellow Bothan (and one of the core reasons she despises Bothawui society in general). Hadrex Kor'var was the head of a small, not particularly powerful family who sought very much to climb the ladders of bothan society. He exemplified virtually every nasty part of bothan politics, shrewd, conniving, power hungry, and ready to smile sweetly at anyone who might be of use to him, then stab them in the back as soon as they weren't. However Hadrex was also obsessed with the dark side of the Force; with Sith, with occult practises, with rumours of witches and sorcerors, and he fancied himself a bit of a hobby alchemist. None of this scored him any points amongst the bothan councils, though it did give the Empire a mild interest in his business and a willingness to offer him some small support in his grabs for power, because having more links to the famed bothan spynet at their disposal was an appealing prospect.

What Hadrex did have working in his favour was an old family friendship with a considerably more powerful and exorbitantly wealthy family- one who he had the chance to connect his family to through marrige, if only he managed to sire a daughter to wed to their dutiful son. After the birth of his own seventh son, Hadrex finally decided that the situation was nothing that a little kidnapping and forged birth certificates couldn't solve, so long as he could locate the perfect candidate. An appropriately aged bothan girl, unattached to any family, unknown and unrecognisable to Bothawui.

Safe to say Ahuska did not approve of any of Hadrex's plans at all, and he absolutely misjudged the fact that even though no Bothawui family would miss her, it did not mean she would not be missed. He didn't live to see his plans come to fruition, and Ahuska does not care that she can't show her face on the planet any more. She's probably a little proud of the fact.

[midnightwind]

so I beat BG3 finally and I have.... Opinions. This is going to be Very Long and full of spoilers, obviously, so fair warning

So to open with, I do really like Act 1 and 2. They have solid pacing and while Act 2 might be missing more side content, it does makes sense given the whole curse making it difficult to move freely without always having a torch out which can severely impact some builds. So I'm glad we don't spend very much time having to deal with that. (I am dual wielding thief rogue scum, so the torch was Agony)

I think Act 1 does an okay job leading you towards the goblin camp as the big end all of the story section while letting you also decide to hop into the Underdark for extra optional content. The Creche is kind of nightmarish depending on your choices, but I think it's still good content. I simply don't care for the Gith much as a people, but they're an important story beat so it's nice to get more of them before you delve into cursed lands. A1 has a nice balance of exploring and side content to do and I really never feel lost or in a lull. I have a goal and the freedom to do whatever else I want on my way to it. Plus the companions have a lot to say and a bunch of interactions together, especially if you change out a member periodically to trigger new ones.

Act 2 is a bit more rail road-y story wise, but you have the little side quests for Astarion and Shadowheart to pursue, helping Halsin, and a few npc quests to pick up or find. I think the inn defense is a bit of a nightmare because Jaheira will sometimes just nuke the tieflings for daring to be near an enemy, so trying to keep everyone alive is.... it can be a lot. But that's going to be more rng to blame than anything else I suppose. And like, if you don't care about saving everyone then it's a breeze I'm sure, I'm just a goody two shoes. The only bad time I really had in Act 2 was due to bugs, so that wasn't the story's fault! (I fell through the floor and only survived because of Thief's passive to reduce falling damage) Well, okay, the Nightsong fight also sucked. Shove being a bonus action is bullshit and also why would they make that such a problem on a floating rock? I had to redo that fight so, so many times to have my party all make it to round 2 without someone getting launched into the void. But otherwise! The build up to Ketheric and actual execution of his fight were all really good. (Well, I skipped phase 1 of his fight because funny persuasion, but I digress)

They really made you worried about Ketheric, showed how much power and sway he had over the land, especially by making him the source of the curse that was poisoning the land. They went in on making him the big dead boss you had to work to beat. I was excited to see what Gortash and Orin had working for them in Act 3!

But then I actually did Act 3, and man, you can feel the rush here. There's just so much squished into the city to the point where having it split in half doesn't help. The game can barely handle how much it has to always have loaded and moving. And the amount of story feels like they were going to have 4 Acts total, but then were told to push the game out and they just had to throw it all into one Act and hope. I think having Tav deal with either Gortash or Orin for Act 3 would have been better for the pacing and allowed for both of the villains to get proper sway over the city they were taking over.

Gortash has some sway with the Steel Watch stomping around, but they really aren't all that threatening unless you decide to slap one on the ass in the town square. You get a glimpse at what they really wanted to do with Gortash at his coronation, but it never really leaves Wyrm's Rock. Maybe it's because I was playing Rogue and sneaking past every locked door, but I never felt like Gortash was a threat. He was more like a snotty kid in the corner muttering rude names at you. The second he tries to go for you without the public eye around, he's dead. He doesn't even do a good job manipulating you. He's all about schemes and having power over people, but his solution when he sees Tav and the gang is to just... ask them to kill Orin for him and share in the power afterwards. Which would make sense if he hadn't led with the whole killing his last partner idea. Why should Tav trust him to hold up his end of the bargain if he clearly would rather rule solo? If Gortash has full control over the city, or the beginnings of it, shouldn't he be making connections with the big entities? Shouldn't he know more about the group of adventurers set on ruining his plans? He clearly can have Orin walk around the camp whenever he wants, so why isn't he turning any of the companions' baggage against them? He could link up with Cazador to send Astarion into a panic, snap up any stragglers of Karlach's friends to keep her from playing baseball with his head, tempt Gale with magical secrets and knowledge of Netherese. He had an in against Jaheira with Orin's shapechangers infiltrating the Harpers, but apparently they suck at their jobs because they got caught instantly, and also the game just shrugs and doesn't have us save the Harpers. Like, so many of the companions are linked to Baldur's Gate somehow and it isn't used to control them. If you take out the foundry, Gortash is just a guy in a booby trapped room with two goons. There is some poetic justice there about how the schemer is just a man at the end of the day, but Tav doesn't do anything to take his power away outside of getting rid of the mechs and maybe changing a single day's paper printing, if you were so inclined. We have no chance to stop the coronation, to break up the blackmailing and mind controlled nobility, hell he doesn't even make it hard to walk the streets if you betray him! He's supposed to be the schemer, the brains behind the operation, so why does he just sit in his castle and do nothing? He could enforce a curfew, forcing the gang underground and into back alleys. Like, I could see it making some builds more tedious to get around with, but they needed to show his power over the city somehow. The Steel Watch just don't cut it, in my opinion. (I also basically one shot him in his fight with 0 traps even going off so perhaps my opinion is colored by that experience)

Orin, then, well... she barely exists as a problem honestly. She steals a party member a few days after Gortash warns you about her, but the reveal just removes the taken character and you're left down a man. She's a serial killer, Bhaal's own unholy assassin who can change her shape as easy as one dons a cloak. So why does she let her ruse be revealed so easily? I think it would have been more compelling, more insidious if she were to take Tav's love interest (or highest approval companion) and just never reveal it's her. You could stumble across the real companion later, mayhaps fleeing from the cult in the sewers, and be forced to make the call on who's real and who's the fake. We have multiple forms of revival in the game, so you could make this hurt without actually losing a companion forever. You would never know when the switch happened and if you chose wrong, imagine how gut wrenching that would be! Instead her cult is more annoying than she is. The whole Sanctuary mechanic is tedious, the amount of the fuckers in the city begs belief, and having to try to save random npcs on a bloody note proves extremely annoying quickly. We don't know the npcs being targeted which is fine, but when I've restarted 3 times to try and distract the 8 assassins with my party so they don't hit the 50 health citizen 20 times, I start thinking the random shop keep might be better off dead. And it is doable, to save them, it just takes so much to pull it off. Again, maybe it's because I was going through the game determined to save everyone, or near enough, so what should have been moments of feeling helpless were more just a huge pain in the ass. The threat of Orin is too simple because they drop the doppleganger act so fast. Plus, she even offers to call off the killings if you take care of Gortash for her and then meet her for a duel! She solves herself. I think it's honestly a disservice to the idea of the character and she feels like a lot of the ideas behind her just weren't given the time they needed to pan out.

And then we move past them, to the Elder Brain. You spend all of Act 3 working your way up to either taking over this thing or killing it. And then you get stuck in extremely long mob fights for the next few hours before finally reaching the damn thing and it's both a dps check and a fucking heal check. The whole endeavor was a pure slog to me and making the summon allies a full action made it feel like it was just never worth it, I could dish out more damage with my own actions. Plus, the allies can't even follow you inside to deal with the brain so at best you use an action to summon hopeful meat shields. It feels like a poorer version of the defense of Denerim in DA:O. The other companions aren't shown doing anything, or even really hinted at doing anything except for like, 4 of them being at the rallying meeting. And the choice between supporting the Emperor or freeing Orpheus! It felts terrible either way! Support the entity keeping you safe, but lying the whole time who doesn't seem willing to talk about it's plans after dealing with the brain or free the trapped Prince of the Gith and hope he doesn't instantly kill you or lead his people to kill everyone in a war of conquest under a new name because you honestly have no idea what he'll do. It's shit either way.

The actual character endings are rather sparse. Also, fuck whoever thought it'd be funny to have Astarion running off screen if you destroy the brain and the vampire rules reassert themselves. You spend the whole game with him mentioning loving the sunlight and seeing the world how he used to. And then you make it a joke when he loses that? It's a heartbreaking moment and it was ruined by having it framed that way. It felt cruel.

I only got to see the epilogue with Astarion, because I romanced him, and Karlach returning to the Hells with Wyll and while they were both nice, they felt very short. I wanted to see what everyone would do, if the gang would stick together or stay in contact. How would they settle into the remains of the city, who would tag along if Tav decides to adventure on, do they have reunions or get togethers, do we get to have that party? It feels so rushed, like a lot was cut to ship the game out, and the companions all suffer for it. Granted this is if you destroy the brain. The endings where you take it over seem even shorter, albeit executed well for the power trip they're setting up, but you don't get much beyond that to my knowledge. (I haven't gone back to see all of them yet) I spent something like 130-140 hours in this one play through. You spend the whole game working up to this confrontation, this resolution, and it feels so truncated. Even just a still image of the landscape or characters with some text slapped on top to detail how they wrapped up the adventure would have been better than having 80% of the gang forgotten. I didn't take them all out into the world, finishing their personal quests, to have them be left behind like that. I love them all and I wanted to see their happy endings.

I loved my time in Faerun, despite it all, and I'm just a little disappointed with how the last act played out. I wish the game had been allowed more time to be finished, for the love and care that so clearly shines in Acts 1 and 2 to be allowed to flourish in Act 3. The people who made this game clearly care, and they had a story to tell, and it leaves a bitter taste behind that they so clearly were not permitted to tell it how they wanted to.

[swampybogg]

Gosh!! ヽ(˵ ▨-▨¬˵)̄ノ💖💖💖 You really marked the point when you said that they still weren't creating something original, I wasn't giving it more deeper thought and ruminating of Dreaming's words I think it goes hand in hand with the superficiality of the nobility…

The grandiose castles dotted with hundreds of fake windows, hollow spires, self powered carriages still led by a dozen horses. The only objects of beauty that they're creating is all inherently superficial. To distance themselves from humanity, and put forth a claim and image of their superiority. But then, after all that, what is there left of their art?

There is nothing deeper. They'll create portrait after portrait, they'll paint the night filled with the scientific abominations they created, and if it wasn't destroyed paintings of their longing of what only the humans have. Even the only human visual artist - obsessed with become one of the nobility- only creates as a tool to take advantage or harm others, even those with the thoughts of becoming nobility are completely corrupted by it's spirit ( Rose Princess....)

I think it's a really compelling thought that the nobility would rather turn down further creation in the name of bloodlust. Everyone who is a descendant of the nobility are cursed by it. I mean, even D, the so called only success is afflicted by it! But instead of chowing down on some necks he's mowing them down with his sword. Imagine what he could have created if it wasn't ingrained in the nobility's DNA…Weirdly enough, all of it reminds me of those drawings that serial killers/murders in prisons would make actually, you can sense that something crucial is missing in those creations.

Potentially a fundamental lack of spirituality? ( Gold Fiend spoilers [as it is recent] I would say soul too, but gold fiend basically confirms that they do in fact have one….Though their souls still seem to be distinct from humans, it's only ever mentioned nobles reincarnating into nobility a new). Vampires are abominations of god, symbols of holiness repels them, that hollowness presents themselves in their creations.

Well essentially, they're masquerading as something that they're not, the evolution of mankind, when in reality they truly are monsters driven by an inescapable bloodthirst. And even if they were able to keep it in check by constitution alone, who's to say it didn't plaque them to the point it renders them unable to do something else? In the Tyrant's Stars mental health facility there's no mention of therapeutic arts, they seem to be using only SA's left behind energy.

There is no true love found in the nobility, they don't have a love of life. They cannot truly enjoy life - they are beings created to sap from it like disgusting leeches. Unoriginality is their curse, it's their doom, and it became their extinction.

Can Nobles create art themselves? I wondered because I don't remember any examples. Only that they made humans do it - someone wrote songs/plays, I remember? Or the girl who played the harp in the second Greylancer book. The singer that Valcua loved to listen to. Or maybe some humans just wanted to do it? That artist from the first book who drew SA's portrait

I'm just thinking that I don't remember any Noble doing this, but maybe I'm wrong. I wonder if there is any explanation for this (other than they just don't want to)

[mirialan]

Bad writing in anime, manga and manhwas has been making me incredibly FURIOUS lately. Idk why it's getting to me so bad all of a sudden lol. I threw one of my mangas across the room in the middle of reading it the other night; Almost threw my phone and stopped reading multiple BL manhwas like 70+ chapters in and just now almost threw my drink against the wall watching some anime.

I think it makes me angrier because these were stories that had good writing up to that point, but then threw it all out the window to have some cliche trope happen or were just inconsistent in the writing of their characters. It's just happened so much recently that it's driving me insane.

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 11: It's Coming

Summary: Things have begun to shift in your developing relationship with your pack. Unfortunately, nature has the worst timing in the world. 

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, language, medical stuff, plenty of fluff.

A/N: I wrote like 90% of this chapter on my phone so please forgive any weird typos. I'm super excited for this one and this whole part really. Lots of good stuff coming up!!

MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->

At first you’re not quite sure what pulled you from sleep. You’re warm and more comfortable than you have been in a long time, despite the dull throbbing between your thighs. The pillow against your back shifts, a chill settling in as some of the warmth disappears. 

You blink your eyes open, squinting against the harsh blue light of a phone screen. Price lets out a quiet groan, swiping at something before settling his phone back on the nightstand in front of you. His arms wrap back around your middle, his face pressing into the back of your neck as he settles against you again. 

It was his phone vibrating that had woken you, pulling you from the gentle arms of sleep. It’s still dark out, far too early to be up and getting phone calls, especially on a Sunday morning. You wonder how often John actually gets to sleep, between his job and everything he does when he’s not away. You’re understanding the couch in his office more and more now. 

“Go back to sleep.” He murmurs, a quiet rumbling vibrating against your back as he purrs.

You don’t need to be told twice, snuggling down under the covers again, letting your eyes close. 

You wake a while later alone. It’s daylight finally, the sunlight coming through the window lighting the room. You press your face into the pillow, inhaling Price’s scent. It still smells a bit like arousal and sex in the room, both of your scents heavy in the air. They blend together surprisingly well, Price’s musky woody scent mixing with the sweetness of your own scent. It makes an intoxicating aroma of alpha and omega. 

Price comes out of the bathroom, slipping back under the covers. You curl up against his side, laying your head on his chest as he wraps an arm around you. 

“Morning.” He murmurs, voice heavy with sleep still. 

You hum in response, resting your head over his heart. 

“How do you feel?” He asks, his fingers trailing your bare back. 

“A bit sore.” You say, acknowledging the throbbing between your legs. “Not as bad as I thought I might.” 

Price huffs out a laugh. “It shouldn’t hurt, not if you know what you’re doing.” 

You hum again, the knowledge that he’s very experienced coming to the forefront of your mind. Even if it has been two years, you can imagine him when he was younger, the kind of experiences he must have had. Omegas and barrack bunnies and all sorts of women probably fawned over him. 

“You’re thinking too much.” He says quietly, eyes closed as he lays there with you. 

You’re starting to think he might be able to read your mind. 

“Can I ask you something? Something...personal?” You ask, tilting your head up to look at him. 

He cracks an eye open to stare down at you. “Don’t think you can get much more personal than we already are.” His lips twitch up in a smile. “‘Course, you can ask me anything.” 

“When was the last time you helped an omega through a heat?” You ask, listening to the steady thump of his heart under your ear. 

“Years ago. Well over a decade ago.” He says, voice still thick and raspy with sleep. He clears his throat, a hand settling on your waist. “Back when I was still a Sergeant. I had the idea back then of settling down, finding an omega and having my own pack. Had a few on and off relationships. Then I started getting sent off on more and more dangerous missions. I realized my skill set and my purpose, and gave up the idea of having an omega. I couldn’t stand the thought of putting them through that, if something happened to me. I’ve seen what losing an alpha does to an omega firsthand too many times.” 

A frown tugs at your brows as you lay there against his chest. You know the risk of them dying is high. The CIA had spent ample time warning you of that risk, telling you about how dangerous their lives are and how every assignment, every deployment, could be their last. They could be gone for weeks at a time, months at a time, and they could go and not come back. They know that every time they leave for an assignment it could be their last, and now you’ll be stuck behind knowing they might not be coming back. 

You’ve heard about omegas that have lost their alphas, how damaging it can be. It’s not something you’re taught at the institute. That’s not something you’re supposed to think about, something you shouldn’t have to think about. 

“What’s eating you?” Price asks softly, his finger stroking the pinched skin between your brows. 

You shift against his side, leaning more on his chest as you look up at him. “What if you don’t come back?” 

His smile is a bit grim as he stares up at you, his fingers trailing across your face. “I won’t lie and say that’s not a risk. There’s always a chance.” His fingers trail down your arm to rest on your hand where it’s pressed flat against his chest. “We’re here for a reason. We are the best at what we do.” 

He pauses as your hand moves, your gaze lowering from his as you trace one of the scars on his clavicle. You can only imagine what caused it. A knife? Shrapnel? Where was he and what was he doing when he got it? You might never be able to know all the details. So many secrets, so much you can’t know. 

John wraps his arms around you, easing you off his chest as he rolls you onto your back. You stare up at him as he hovers over you, his hand brushing stray hairs from your face. “Don’t worry too much.” He says, his finger trailing the line of your nose. “We always try our best to make it home. Now we just have an even greater reason to.” 

Your hand cups his cheek as he leans down, pressing his lips to yours. You hum against his mouth, pressing your body closer against his. You can’t help but smile against his lips as his cock hardens against your thigh. 

“Again?” You murmur against his lips, making him chuckle.

“Can’t blame me when there’s a beautiful omega naked in my bed.” 

Your face burns as he leans back down to kiss you, his hips moving against your thigh. Warmth spreads through your whole body from his scent thickening in the air, his arousal prevalent as he twitches against your leg. 

“John.” You moan softly, hands grasping at his back. 

You both pause as a door shuts in the hallway, the reminder that the others are just a thin wall away coming back to you. The moment is over as your stomach growls, also reminding you that you’ll need to eat eventually. 

John chuckles quietly, leaning up to press a kiss against your forehead. “Come on, let’s get the day started and get some food into you.” 

You frown a bit as he pulls away, cock still hard and angry looking as he stands from the bed. “John?” You call out, scrambling off the bed after him. “You’re just gonna...” 

“Give it a minute and I’ll be fine.” He says, moving to his closet. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” 

Your frown only deepens and you step closer to him, catching him as he turns around. You stare up at him through your lashes, wrapping your hand around his cock. He pauses, letting out a little groan as you squeeze him gently. 

“Let me help you.” You say, dragging your hand along his length. 

His eyes darken as he stares down at you, the pants in his hand dropping to the floor. 

Your face is still a bit flushed as you make your way to the mess. You’re hand in hand with John, dressed comfortably in one of his shirts and a pair of leggings. You can’t help but feel a bit bashful, as if they’re all going to know what you did, as if every soldier in the mess knows you and Price slept together last night. 

They’ve probably been thinking that since you arrived. 

Price leads you through the line, making your tray for you. You nearly beam with pride at him taking care of you, your omega preening with happiness as he carries your tray and his to the table. You take the spot next to Gaz as usual, still practically beaming. 

“Have a good night, love?” Gaz asks, smirking a bit at your pleased state. 

“Yeah.” You say, your face getting warm again at their stares. 

“Practically glowing, kitten.” Johnny says, winking at you from across the table. 

Your face flushes hotter and you quickly bury yourself in your porridge to avoid exploding at the breakfast table. 

“Sounded like ye had a great time.” Johnny continues. 

Christ, they probably heard the whole thing. You halfway want to sink down beneath the table to hide from their knowing stares. You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about, not really. They’re your pack, and eventually you’ll be in the same position with them too. 

“Didnae know ye had it in ye, kitten.” Johnny continues. “We certainly enjoyed the show.”

You do start to sink down in your seat a bit, surprised steam isn’t rising off your skin from how warm you feel. Gaz’s hand on your leg stops you, his fingers squeezing your thigh gently. 

“Don’t pay too much attention to him, love.” Gaz gives you a reassuring smile. “He’s just jealous he didn’t get to go first.” 

“Am not.” Johnny whines, practically pouting. 

You can’t help but smile a bit at his antics. You know from how much he bragged about getting to be your first kiss that he probably was rather put out that John got to be your first. It would have been that way regardless, but you know you asking John before your heat changed things a bit. It would have always been John, though. 

It would have always been your alpha first. 

Gaz’s hand doesn't move from your thigh, holding its place there as you all eat, Johnny still pouting a bit. You know they’ll want to pursue that sort of relationship with you after your heat, but now that John’s removed the barrier of the first time as well, you can only expect them to up the teasing tenfold. A shiver runs up your spine at the thought of Gaz sliding his hand slightly higher, fingers slipping between your legs. 

You’re certain there has to be steam coming off of you now. 

Your thighs squeeze together, trapping Gaz's fingers between them as you continue to try and act normally. Gaz turns his head just slightly, side eyeing you as you continue to try and eat your breakfast as normally as possible. Gaz's grip on your thigh tightens, fingers digging into your skin. You fight the noise threatening to come up as he holds his hand there, continuing to eat his breakfast as if nothing is happening. 

You hold Gaz's hand as he walks you back towards the barracks, leaning against his side. His grip around your fingers is tight, not even the rain dampening the heaviness of his scent. It's deeper than usual, the musk of arousal tinging the edges. 

Your back meets your door as soon as you're back in the barracks, Gaz pinning you against the wood. Your own breathing is heavy as you stare up at him, his eyes dark as he meets your gaze. 

“Fuckin’ gorgeous, you know that?” He groans, leaning down to kiss you. It's far more passionate than you've ever kissed him before, his hands sliding down your sides to grip your waist. “Making all those sweet noises last night.” He breathes against your lips. “Haven't seen Price that relaxed in a long time.” 

Your face warms at his words, your hands clutching at the fabric of his shirt. He presses harder against you, pinning you against the door as his tongue prods at your lips. He tastes like the tea he drank with breakfast, herby and earthy. 

“Has us all worked up last night.” He groans against your lips. “Hearing you, knowing our alpha was treating you nice.”

He presses his forehead against yours, staring down at you. You meet his gaze, shivering under the intensity in his deep brown eyes. 

“Johnny bout cried he was so worked up.” Gaz's lips twitch in a smile. “Simon left for the gym bout halfway through, had to work out his tension.”

Your brows raise at the news about what Ghost had been up to last night. You figured he might join Johnny in his room, or perhaps head somewhere so he didn't have to hear you. Not that he would leave because he was being affected by you. 

“Johnny was being such a whiny little bastard. Had no choice but to take pity on him.” Gaz nips at your jawline playfully. “I fear he's going to be unbearable until he gets his chance.” 

“Well, he'll just have to wait his turn.” You say. 

Gaz laughs, kissing you again before he takes half a step back, leaning his arm on the door above you. “Any plans today?”

You shrug, still leaning against your door. “Might read, or nap. Maybe both.” You sink your teeth into your lip, reaching back to put your hand on the door handle. “You wanna come in?” 

Gaz's grin widens into a smile, his eyes practically sparkling. “Sure.”

You open the door, stepping into your room. It's a bit of a mess from you preparing for your date last night. You toss the clothes from your bed onto the floor haphazardly before pushing Gaz onto the mattress. He kicks off his shoes before making himself comfortable. You toe off your slippers, grabbing your book before joining him on the bed. He pulls you against his side, pulling his phone out of his pocket as you settle against his chest. A quiet content purr begins rumbling in his chest, easing the tension in your body as you relax against him. 

You stay like that, reading while cuddling Gaz, for quite a while. Your door is wide open still, the others coming and going as they do on the weekends. Gaz keeps your back to his chest, arm wrapped around his middle as he scrolls on his phone while you read. 

Slowly his head starts to droop until it's resting against the top of yours. You can feel the content sleepiness settling into your bones as well, the words on the pages starting to swim a bit. You mark your place, moving just enough to set your book on your nightstand before you curl up against him, letting his even breaths lull you to sleep. 

You jolt awake suddenly as Gaz's arms tighten around you, keeping you from flying off the bed. You blink open your bleary eyes, squinting at Johnny's grinning face inches from yours. His body is draped over both yours and Gaz's, a solid weight against you both. 

“C'mon ye lazies. Gotta eat lunch eventually.” He says, sounding far too chipper for a Sunday afternoon. 

“Fuck off mate.” Gaz says, shoving at Johnny's shoulder. “Was comfy.”

“Yer hogging the omega!” Johnny says, poking Gaz's side. He pushes himself up, scooping you into his arms and lifting you. “Some of us would like tae spend time with ‘er too.” 

You yelp at being lifted suddenly, wrapping your arms around Johnny's neck to hold on for dear life. 

“Well, maybe you just need to be a little bit faster.” Gaz says, standing from the bed. 

“I'm plenty fast.” Johnny almost whines. “Close to beating your time on the course.”

Gaz smirks. “I'll believe it when I see it.” 

You look back and forth between them as Gaz steps closer to Johnny, caging you between them. 

“And ye will see it.” Johnny says.

“Cheeky.” Gaz murmurs, closing the distance between them. 

You stare wide eyed as they kiss just inches in front of your face. It's all tongues and teeth, Soap's chest rumbling against your side as he purrs. A quiet whimper leaves your lips as you watch them, your body starting to get warm again. 

They break apart, both turning to look at you. Gaz's lips turn up in a smirk, Johnny's eyes sparkling. 

“Look at you, kitten.” Johnny smirks. “Ye like watching us?” 

You make another quiet noise, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. Johnny slowly lowers you until you're standing between them, Gaz not moving an inch as they trap you in a beta sandwich. Their bodies are warm and solid as you stand there, back to Johnny's chest. You can feel the bulge in his jeans pushing against your ass, Gaz's body a solid weight against your front. 

You can imagine it, naked between them, skin against skin with hands everywhere. A quiet purr begins in your chest, eyes dilating as you stare up at Gaz. He smirks down at you, leaning down towards you. He skirts to the side at the last minute though, kissing Johnny behind you. 

You can't see them this time but lord can you hear it. Johnny is still purring, the sound vibrating against your back. Gaz let's out a quiet sound, his hand dropping to squeeze your waist. 

Johnny pats your side before pulling away. “Should get ye some lunch.”

Your head is still spinning as Gaz hums his approval, stepping away as well. You stand there blinking for a moment at the sudden loss of contact, the sudden shift in energy. 

“C'mon, get yer shoes on, sunshine.” Johnny says. 

You move half in a daze still towards your bed, your body tingling a bit still from the many thoughts that had been racing through your mind. 

Something in the back of your mind begins to itch as you stare down at your bed. Your brows pinch in a frown as you stare down at the mess of blankets and pillows. 

It's not right. 

Your fingertips twitch as you stare at the mess in your nest, your mind taking over as you begin to rearrange the blankets and pillows. You forget you're not alone in the room as you fuss with the blankets until the itching begins to lessen a bit. You fiddle with the pillows, moving them around over and over again until you're happy with how they're organized, the quiet humming in the back of your mind fading away to nothing. 

You sink down on the edge of the bed, letting out a long breath. You feel tired and almost winded after your effort to make sure your nest is just right. 

Nest. 

You're nesting. 

You blink up at Johnny and Gaz, suddenly aware of their presence in your space again. Johnny is staring at you wide eyed, mouth slightly parted in wonder. Gaz has a sparkle in his eye as he grins at you. 

You've just built a nest. 

“Feel better, love?” Gaz asks, still almost beaming from witnessing you make your nest. 

You nod, a sudden weight lifting from your shoulders. You've nested. You're nesting. Everything is going to be okay. 

“C'mon.” Johnny says, slipping your slippers back onto your feet. “Let's get lunch in ye.”

You let him help you up, holding both their hands as you make your way from the barracks, a small, relieved smile on your face.

You wake up nauseous. 

There’s a clawing feeling in your stomach and you’re not sure why. 

It’s early, too early to be up. The sky outside is still dark, and the barracks are quiet. You get up, heading for the bathroom, the gnawing feeling still plaguing your stomach. Cold water on your face doesn't help the light-headedness or the dizziness you’re beginning to feel. 

You can’t possibly be sick. You haven’t been around anyone that’s sick. You know heat sickness isn’t a threat right now. There’s no warnings out about possible exposures. It couldn’t be food poisoning. You eat the same things they do. 

The gnawing intensifies, your stomach rumbling a bit. 

Realization dawns on you suddenly. 

You’re hungry. 

You’re very hungry. 

You check the time on your phone. Three a.m. Still too early for any of the boys to be up, and still a couple hours from when the mess would start serving breakfast. You head for the rec room, hoping there’s at least something in there to tide you over until breakfast. 

You dig through the cabinets, plenty of tea and a couple packets of instant coffee you know belong to Johnny. You dig out a couple protein bars, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge before taking a seat on the couch. 

The protein bars aren’t great. They don’t taste good, but you’re so hungry you don’t care. You down them quickly and the entire bottle of water. For a moment you feel relief, the gnawing in your stomach easing. You head back to bed, slipping back into your room quietly. 

You toss and turn, unable to go back to sleep as the gnawing begins in your stomach once more. You let out a quiet sound, muffled by your pillow as you lay there, knowing you still have a long time until they’ll come and get you for breakfast. 

The thought makes you almost want to cry. 

You’re waiting as soon as they knock, narrowly avoiding Johnny’s hand as you open the door mid-knock. The bright look in his eyes fades as he stares at you. You know you look miserable, maybe a little sick, even. You feel worse, your stomach twisting and gnawing. Those protein bars four hours ago hadn’t been nearly enough. 

“Ye alright, kitten?” He asks, a frown marring his face. 

“Hungry.” You all but whine, slipping out the door, closing it behind you. 

“Ye hungry, kitten? Ye could have said somethin’ sooner. Coulda brought ye somethin’.” Johnny says, following you down the hall. 

You’re determined to get real food and you’re not about to let anything get in your way. You feel ravenous, despite the fact you’d had a good dinner the night before. 

Maybe it hadn’t been enough. 

You make your own tray this time, loading on more than you usually do. You take your normal spot between Price and Gaz, all four of them eyeing your tray as you happily dig in. 

“Hungry, love?” Price asks, watching you spoon huge mouthfuls of porridge into your mouth. 

You nod, chewing quickly before spooning more in. It tastes delicious, something you never thought you would say about British food. 

They all watch in awe as you clear your tray, eating every last crumb, having to refrain from licking it clean. Finally, for the first time since you went to bed last night, you feel full and satisfied. 

“Damn. Putting us to shame.” Gaz says, staring at your empty, nearly clean tray. 

You grow bashful under their stares, realizing you not only out ate them, you also finished first. “I was hungry.” You say, fiddling with your fork. 

“No kidding.” Ghost huffs out, all of them finishing up their trays. 

You’re in a far better mood leaving the mess than you were entering it, the sweet relief of being full after hours of gnawing hunger making you feel almost giddy. Ghost walks you back to the barracks, walking slow enough you can easily keep up with him. So slow, your arm brushes his as you walk next to him. 

“Sorry.” You say, moving a step away from him. You’re so used to standing directly next to the others, you’ve forgotten Ghost prefers his personal space. 

He stares down at you for a moment but doesn’t say anything, holding the door to the barracks open for you. He stands just inside the door, watching you make your way down the hallway to your room. He waits for the click of the lock before he turns, leaving you alone in the barracks again. 

You settle into your usual routine of laying in your nest and reading, the giddiness starting to wear off as the time passes. You make it until ten a.m. when the gnawing hunger begins to return. You let out an annoyed whine, dropping your book to the floor as you roll onto your stomach. 

You want to cry and scream at the same time, watching the clock tick by on your phone. You’re tired of being so hungry, and what’s worse, you don’t even know why. You’re just ravenous and you can’t think of a reason. 

Lunch can’t come soon enough, and you find yourself struggling through the afternoon just as much. It’s almost like your body is on a timer and every two hours you’re suddenly starving, as if you haven’t eaten all day. You eat just as much as you did at breakfast, scarfing down food like you’re a starving animal. 

You certainly feel like one. 

You head to the rec room after dinner, Ghost and Johnny joining you. Johnny takes the seat next to you on the couch, draping his arm behind you as Ghost takes his usual spot in the chair. 

You curl up against Johnny’s side, watching whatever he decides to put on TV half-heartedly. You’re waiting for the inevitable, the gnawing hunger to creep up on you again. 

It does, roughly two hours into your time in the rec room. 

You shift against Johnny, pressing against his side more as you try to ignore the hunger burning through you. His arm wraps around your shoulders, holding you against him. You breathe in his scent, letting the citrusy scent of him wash over you. 

It only serves to make you more hungry. 

You let out a quiet whine, trying to get closer to him. Tears prick at your eyes as you know there’s no relief coming. There’s no more meals until tomorrow. You’ll have to go all night before you can eat again, before you can relieve the hunger. You’re not sure you’ll make it that long. You might perish in the middle of the night, or become violently ill. Perhaps both. 

You let out another quiet whine, standing from the couch. You can’t take it anymore, both Johnny and Ghost watching you as you head for the cabinets, kneeling on the floor and rummaging through everything, desperate to find another protein bar or anything. 

“What are you doing?” Ghost asks, staring at you as you’re halfway in the cabinet, checking every last corner. 

“Hungry!” You snap, half considering eating one of the tea bags just for something. 

You’ve just closed the cabinet door in irritation when an arm wraps around your waist, lifting you from the floor. You let out a yelp, Ghost carrying you easily back to the couch. 

“Stay.” He says after dropping you back next to Johnny. “I’ll be back.” 

Johnny wraps his arms around you as you pout, nearly in tears from how frustrated you are. You’re just so hungry. 

“Easy, kitten.” Johnny says, pulling you back against his chest. 

You nuzzle into him, curling up into a ball against his side. He starts purring quietly, trying to soothe you while you wait for Ghost to return. You can’t pay attention to the TV, Johnny trying to change the channel every time a food related commercial comes on. 

You’re nearly shaking when Ghost returns, arms full of snacks. Your eyes widen as he dumps them on the coffee table, pushing yourself up from Johnny’s chest. 

“Where did you get these?” You ask, dropping to your knees on the floor in front of the coffee table. 

“Vending machine in the mess.” Ghost answers, sitting back down in his chair. 

You stare at him teary eyed, sniffling a little. “Thank you.” 

He grunts in response, turning his gaze back to the TV as you reach for a bag of chips.

You can barely even taste it as you kneel there on the floor, basking in the first taste of sweet relief from a bag of salt and vinegar chips. You grab them by the handful, burning through the small, snack sized bag quickly. 

You’ve barely finished chewing when you’re reaching for a candybar, a sudden realization striking you as your brain begins to regain the ability to think now that it knows relief is coming. You stare at the purple Cadbury on the front of the packaging, your fingers trembling as you hold the candybar. 

You take a deep breath, quickly opening the wrapper before taking a bit, sitting back on your heels as you chew. “Well, shit.” 

“I know, I hate the exam rooms too.” Dr. Keller says, flipping through her clipboard. “Too clinical and sterile looking.” She lifts your hand, removing the pulse monitor from your finger. “A little higher than normal.” She says, writing something down on the clipboard. 

She takes your blood pressure and temperature, writing both down on the clipboard. 

“Temperature is still normal.” She says. “How have you been feeling?” 

“Hungry.” You say, picking at the thin fabric of the hospital gown you’ve been forced into. “Ravenously hungry and clingy.” You continue. “A bit more emotional than normal too.” 

Dr. Keller nods, writing all of it down. “Normal things for your pre-heat, according to your file. Anything out of the ordinary? Aches and pains? Any nausea or vomiting, not related to hunger?” 

You shake your head. “No. Kinda sleepy all the time too, but the hunger makes it hard to sleep.” 

Dr. Keller nods. “That’s normal. Your body is preparing for a few days of very little caloric intake and little rest. I’d say you’re exhibiting all the signs of pre-heat. You’re right on time, as expected.” She gives you a little smile. “Judging by your vitals you still have a few days before the full heat symptoms begin. Any questions?” 

“What do institutes do for heats?” John asks where he’s sitting to the side of the exam table. 

“It depends on the institute.” Dr. Keller says, looking at you. 

“FIOT rotated between sedation and isolation.” You say, not really wanting to think back on the heats you had gone through at the institute. “Sedation for the full heat, or shutting us in private rooms for a week to ride out the symptoms alone to avoid triggering heats in the other omegas.” 

“Neither are great, but in that sort of environment there’s not a lot that can be done. Sedation is the better of the two, though it can still be disorienting. Isolation is painful and risky, especially if proper care isn’t given.” Dr. Keller says. 

“Is sedation an option for the future?” Price asks. 

You turn to look at him, before looking back at Dr. Keller. 

“It’s something we can explore. I know it can’t be expected of you to be here for every heat. We can start exploring some alternatives after this heat is over and I have a better idea of what they’re going to look like.” Dr. Keller gives you a soft smile. “Now, I’d like to do a little exam just to give me a baseline for after your heat when I check for any abnormalities or injuries.” 

She directs you to lay down on the exam table and put your feet in the stirrups. You suddenly feel nervous, her words doing little to calm you. John appears in your peripheral, slipping his hand into yours. 

“Is that a risk?” You ask as Dr. Keller pulls a clean pair of gloves on. 

“Only a small one.” She says, standing at the end of the table. “I know you’ve probably heard all the horror stories, but those are only really concerns with inexperienced alphas who have never helped an omega through a heat before, especially those who had limited exposure to omegas in general.” She smiles at you. “You’re in good hands, my dear.” 

She does her exam, letting you sit up once she’s finished. John helps you up, still holding your hand. Dr. Keller’s words do ease your concerns just a bit, but you can’t help the images flashing through your mind, the horror stories of mutilations and even deaths. You trust Price to take care of you, but at the same time, you won’t know until it’s over. 

“Everything looks good.” She says. “The best thing you can do right now is try to satiate the pre-heat symptoms and take this time to make sure everything is ready and in place for when the full heat begins. Don’t worry too much.” She looks pointedly at you. “I’ll be on call and ready should something happen.” Her gaze turns to John. “Your beta knows what to look out for, right?” 

John nods. “Kyle has been doing a lot of research. He knows what to do.” 

“Good.” Dr. Keller says, looking back at you. “Why don’t you get dressed, then we can go back to my office where it’s more comfortable and talk some more.” 

Dr. Keller leaves you alone in the room, Price helping you change back into your normal clothes, leaving the room with you. You turn to look up at him, Dr. Keller waiting for you near her office door. 

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” Price says, leaning down towards you. 

“Yeah.” You say, standing up on your toes to kiss him. 

You try to ignore the look on Dr. Keller’s face as you walk past her and into her office, your face warming a bit in response. You take your normal seat, trying to get comfortable despite your bashfulness. 

“You and Captain Price seem a lot closer.” Dr. Keller says as she sits across from you on the couch. 

You nod. “Yeah. We, uh, we have gotten closer.” You chew on your lip. “We slept together...on Saturday night. Had a date, he cooked dinner. Then we...did it.” 

Dr. Keller’s brows raise at your words, her face surprised. “Oh? Is that so? Is that something you wanted?” 

You nod. “I asked him if he’d do it. I wanted my first time to be when I could remember it...before I would feel like it was something that had to be done.” 

Dr. Keller hums, writing something down. “Did you have fun?” 

Your face warms at her words, and you halfway wish the chair would swallow you whole. You nod, hiding your fingers beneath your sleeves again. “Yeah. I uh, started nesting too.” 

Dr. Keller’s face breaks out into a huge smile. “That’s great! That’s fantastic news! Perfect timing too.” 

You nod. “Yeah. Started on Sunday. Been feeling it since.” 

“Good. That gives us one less thing to worry about.” She sets her notebook aside, crossing her legs as she stares at you. “How do you feel about your heat coming so soon?” 

“Nervous.” You answer honestly. 

“It can be a bit daunting, I’d imagine, your first heat with an alpha. Captain Price knows what he’s doing, though. He and Sergeant Garrick will take good care of you.” 

“I know.” You say, fiddling with your sleeves. “It’s still scary. A lot of things can happen and...what if one of them does?” 

“It’s not very likely.” Dr. Keller reassures you. “Captain Price knows what he’s doing. He’s experienced with omegas and heats and the likelihood of him losing control is small, even after so long without any contact with an omega. It sounds like Sergeant Garrick has educated himself on things to look for, and what to do to help. I’ll be ready and on call the entire time as well. I’ll make regular check-ins with Sergeant Garrick too, to make sure everything is going smoothly. You’re not alone in this. We’ll all make sure you’re well taken care of. I know it’s a lot to ask you to trust people that are still somewhat strangers, but we all have your best interests in mind here.” 

“I know.” You say quietly. “It’s hard, not knowing much of anything. They tell you everything you should expect at the institute over and over again, then you get in it and everything is different. Nothing is like it should be. Nothing like they said. I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

“I know. You were prepared for one life and got an entirely different one. Lucky for you, though, you’re surrounded by very understanding people who are more than happy to help you. I know this is so far from ideal for you, but I think you’re doing a fantastic job with what you were handed.” 

You stare at your hands, thinking over her words. John’s called you a good omega before. He’s called you that a few times. He thinks you’re doing a good job, despite the fact you feel like none of your skills are useful here. Despite the fact you feel like you haven’t been trying. 

You think over everything they’ve done for you, how hard they’ve tried to help make you as comfortable as possible. She’s right. They’re all so understanding and you know they like you. You can see it in their reactions to you, you can smell it on them. You know Gaz won’t let anything happen to you, even if something goes wrong. 

They have yet to prove themselves untrustworthy, for the most part. 

Maybe you really don’t have anything to worry about. 

“Come on.” Ghost says, standing in your doorway. You almost don't recognize him in a beanie and surgical mask instead of his usual balaclava. “Get shoes on, and let’s go.” 

“Go where?” You ask, sitting up on your bed. 

“Shopping.” He says, before turning on his heel. 

You frown, but do as he says, slipping on comfortable shoes and grabbing your phone. You head down the hall towards the door, a familiar car parked outside. Price and Ghost are waiting next to the car, both dressed in civilian clothes. You approach them hesitantly, suddenly feeling intimidated in the presence of the two alphas. You know you have nothing to worry about, but this is the first time you'll be alone with both of them. 

Ghost steps up to you, a bottle in his hand. You barely have time to hold your breath before he sprays you down with scent blocker, the harsh chemicals burning your nose as they settle on your skin and cut off your scent. It's necessary, even with two alphas around you. 

“Ready?” John asks, letting his eyes scan over your form for a second. He could probably pick up on your tension and uneasy energy from a mile away. 

“Can...Can I ask why?” You ask as John opens the back door for you. 

“Well, we can't have you starving to death on us, can we?” John smiles. “And we need to get a few things for your heat.”

“Oh.” You say, blinking up at him. 

“Hop in. Hopefully we can get the shopping done before dinner.” John says. 

Before you get hungry again. 

You climb in the backseat, John closing the door before getting in the driver's side. Ghost is already in the passenger seat, buckled in and ready. 

You sit and watch the landscape pass by, the car quiet except for the radio. The contrast between the two betas and the two alphas is almost as distinct as night and day. Johnny and Gaz had talked almost nonstop the entire drive to and back from town. Ghost and Price seem content in their silence, Ghost watching the landscape pass just like you. 

It speaks volumes of their trust and ease with each other. 

The farmlands turn to city and you find yourself back at Asda again. You hold John's hand as you walk, Ghost taking your other side, sandwiching you between them. People stare as you pass, their eyes on Ghost, but he doesn't even seem to notice. 

You stick close to John as you walk through the store, picking up items you'll need for your heat, as well as some other things. Ghost follows like a shadow, people giving you a wide berth when they spot him. You're almost grateful for it. You swear some of them can tell you're about to start your heat, their eyes burning into you as they pass. 

You can feel the beginnings of hunger starting to creep in as you walk down the bed liner aisle. You know if you weren't starting to get hungry, you would have been close to combusting from the knowledge of why this aisle was necessary. 

You let out a sigh, leaning your head against John's arm as he crosses the bed liner off the list. 

“What?” He asks, amusement in his voice. 

“You know what I miss?” You say, wrapping your arms around one of his. “Good authentic Mexican food.” 

The corner of John's lips lift in a smile. “Yeah? You getting hungry again?” 

You nod, a subtle whine to your tone. “Yeah.”

John turns to look at Ghost, the two alphas having a seconds long silent conversation before Ghost heads off, disappearing from the aisle. 

“Where's he going?” You ask. 

“Getting a head start on the other supplies for your heat.” John says. “Just a couple more things, then your snacks and we'll be done and we'll get some dinner.” 

You stop as you turn the corner around the end of the aisle, your eyes spotting a giant teddy bear. It looks soft and squishy, your pre-heat addled brain already picturing the perfect spot for it in your nest. 

“You want it?” John asks, looking between you and the bear. 

You snap back into reality for a moment, glancing up at the price. You nearly die on the spot, shaking your head. “I-I don't...”

John turns you to face him, speaking firmly. “Do you want it?”

You stare up into his eyes, nodding slowly. 

His gaze softens just a bit, a smile tugging at his lips. “Then grab it.” 

You're moving before you can even have a second thought, wrapping your arms around it and lifting it off the shelf. It's just as soft as you thought it would be, nearly as big as you are too. You can imagine cuddling it in your nest, napping contently, surrounded in soft plushness. 

“C'mon pup.” John says, patting your back gently. You're purring, you realize suddenly, the sound leaving you entirely unconsciously. “Let's get you some snacks then we'll get dinner.”

You carry the bear, following John to the grocery section of the store. He takes you to the snack aisle and you pass the bear off to him, grabbing anything and everything that looks good, loading up the cart. You grab a few things from the American section as well, snacks you didn't think you'd miss, but right now they sound like manna straight from heaven. 

“Simon's done with his part.” John says, glancing at his phone. “We'll meet back at the car.” 

You take the bear back once you're done filling the cart with snacks, heading towards the checkout. You're hesitant to let the bear go long enough to be scanned before you're holding it again, purring quietly and contently. 

John keeps his arm around you as you walk through the parking lot towards the car. There's already bags in the trunk from Ghost, the alpha already in the passenger seat. They must have both been carrying keys to the car. Safety precautions. Things most people wouldn't even think about. 

“Thank you.” You say as John fills the trunk with the rest of the bags. “You didn't have to do this.”

“Yes we did.” John says, looking down at you. “Not going let you starve like that if we can help it.”

“It's still strange to me, getting taken care of.” You say, squeezing the bear. “Still makes me feel a bit like a sugar baby.”

John chuckles. “Don't worry, I won't make you call me daddy.” He leans in close to your ear. “Unless you want to.” 

Your face burns hot, your entire body igniting with heat at his words. He gives you a gentle pat on the ass, directing you to the door of the car before taking the cart back to the store. 

Your face is still burning as you attempt to climb into the car with your bear, giving up and stuffing it in first. 

“What the hell is that?” Ghosts asks, turning to look at you.

“My new bear.” You respond, arranging the bear so its sitting in the seat beside you. 

“Christ.” He breathes, and you can practically hear the eye roll as you buckle the bear in. 

You buckle yourself in as John climbs in the driver's seat.

“All set?” He asks, turning to look at you. 

You nod, smiling happily despite the hunger eating away at you. 

“Let's get some dinner, then we'll head back to base.” John says, turning on the car. “Can't have our omega starving on us, can we?” 

Ghost snorts. “Best feed her before she decides we look appetizing.” 

You wrinkle your nose. “You'd be too gamey, Ghost.” You say, eyeing him before turning your gaze to the seat in front of you. “John, though...” You lick your lips. “I already know you taste good.”

John lets out a deep chuckle that rumbles with the edge of a pleased growl. “Easy, kitten.”

Ghost lets out a heavy sigh, running a hand over his face. “Spare me. Now there's two of ‘em.” 

John chuckles again, squeezing Ghost's shoulder. “Little did you know, Simon.” 

Ghost turns to look at John. “Is it too late to get a refund?” 

You stifle a giggle as John smiles. “You'll have to ask Laswell.”  

Ghost sighs, turning to look out the window. “No hope for it, then.” 

“Hey, at least I'm cute!” You grin. “Don't tell Johnny I said that.” 

You practically beam with pride as you see Ghost's shoulders shake with his laughter. Maybe you can get through to him more than you think you can. 

Maybe, just maybe, you can get him to like you. 

The knock comes at your door unexpectedly. It's late, and you had just begun to feel the pangs of hunger once more. You hate it, but you know it's necessary considering you'll have to go roughly a week getting in nothing but what nutrient bars can offer while exerting insane amounts of energy. Your body needs to store the calories now so that you don't die during your heat. 

You're surprised to see Ghost on the other side of the door, back in his balaclava. His shoulders are squared, but you can't scent any anger or hostility on him. 

He almost seems...nervous. 

“Hungry?” He asks, staring down at you. 

“Always.” You answer almost instinctively, staring up into his deep brown eyes. 

He motions for you to follow with his head. “C'mon.” 

You frown a little, but you step out of your room, closing the door behind you. You follow him towards the rec room, staring at his broad back. His shoulders are still squared, hands in his pockets. 

The rec room is set up again not unlike it was for your date with John. The card table is out and there's foil covered dishes on it, along with a couple plates. Your brows raise in surprise as you take it all in. 

“I made you something.” Ghost says, moving over to the table, removing the foil from one of the dishes. 

You move closer, blinking in surprise. “You made...enchiladas?” 

He nods. “As close as I could get with what I could find on short notice. There's rice and beans, too. And salsa.” 

Tears blur your vision as you stare down at the food on the table. It smells delicious and that's not just your ravenous pre-heat hunger talking. “You...did this for me?”

“Well, I had help,” He says, looking past you. 

You turn, Soap and Gaz standing at the windows that frame the door to the rec room. They smile and wave at you as you turn to look at them. A quiet laugh leaves your mouth as you smile at them. 

“Help yourself.” Ghost says as you turn back to the table. “There's plenty.”

You serve yourself a plate, nearly melting off the chair as you take the first bite. It takes you all the way back home, the good years when your father was stationed in Texas. 

“Taste okay?” Ghost asks, watching you. “I know it's not authentic, but I did a lot of research.”

“It's amazing, Ghost. Really.” You say. “Tastes just like the ones my mom would make.” You wipe at the tears in your eyes. “Thank you for doing this.”

He shrugs, looking almost bashful. “It's the least I could do. I know how big of a deal heats are to omegas and how nervous you've been. Thought you could use a little comfort.” 

You smile softly. “That means a lot.” You can't help but giggle softly. “I knew you liked me deep down.”

He gives you a look, making you giggle even more. “Don't push it.” 

NEXT ->

Taglist:

@bobaprint @ashy-kit, @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnesx @protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai @redwites @kattiieee @141trash@lothiriel9 @dillybuggg @beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami, @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff @smile-child-13 @anomiatartle, @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons, @mystic60 @evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff, @linaangel @codsunshine @thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows @ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10, @cassiecasluciluce @darling006@sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages@scythemood @daniblogs164, @mirzamsaiph

[maxtermind]

please i'm begging you (please don't feel pressured if your life is busy 💕) we need pt 2 to the angst i can't handle this 😭 my heart 💔 the writing is too good that i'm feeling things 😓

was i stupid to love you?

★ : summary :: when he downplays your feelings ★ : feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris ★ : genre :: angst; hurt/comfort ★ : word count :: 4.6k ★ : a/n :: open ending, don't forget to vote after so i can get a bit of feedback :3 kinda rushed so might contain lots of typos sorryyyy!!

( part 1 )

Charles Leclerc

The house party buzzed with music and laughter, a cacophony that drowned your thoughts as you stormed through the crowded rooms. Your heart raced with a mix of anger and hurt, knowing Charles was right on your tail, determined to catch you before you could reach Arthur.

Your boyfriend’s hand wrapped around yours just as his brother turned around to look at you guys. You stomped your feet as you shook your head to dismiss Arthur and follow your boyfriend who quietly kissed your head in gratitude before you could step away.

”What is going on with you?!” Your voice trembled with barely contained fury as you confronted Charles in a quieter corner.

Charles sighed, his brow furrowing in frustration. ”I don’t know, baby. I’m so sorry—”

”You told me off when you should know that I’m right!” Your voice rose involuntarily. ”She fucking leaned in thinking that you were gonna choose her.”

”Y/N, please listen to me,” Charles said earnestly, stepping closer to you. ”I messed up. I know. But I would, never in a hundred years, choose anyone let alone her over you.”

You looked into Charles' eyes, seeing the sincerity and pain reflected in them. Your anger began to melt, replaced by a swirl of conflicting emotions.

”You’re just saying what I want to hear and I don't like it,” you said, your voice softer now, searching for clarity.

”It’s the truth,” Charles declared, his voice tinged with regret. ”I know I’ve hurt you baby and I'm sorry for that but I can’t— I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I watched you leave with my brother. Let me drop you home, okay?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, frustration and hurt mixing with the love you still felt for him. Charles gently took your hands in his, his touch warm and comforting.

”Y/N, please,” Charles pleaded, his voice raw with emotion. ”I never want to make you feel like you need to run away from me. I want to talk this out, please give me a chance to make things right.”

You hesitated, feeling torn between wanting to forgive him and the pain of betrayal still fresh in your heart.

”Okay,” you finally whispered, feeling emotionally drained. ”Let's go.”

Charles nodded, relief washing over his face. He led you out of the noisy party, his grip on your hand tight and reassuring. The cool night air outside provided a stark contrast to the heated emotions inside.

As Charles drove you home, neither of you spoke. The silence was filled with unspoken words and the weight of what had just transpired. But Charles kept stealing glances at you, his eyes full of regret and love.

When you arrived at your shared apartment, Charles parked the car but made no move to get out. He turned to you, his expression soft and vulnerable.

”I'll leave if you want me to,” Charles said quietly, his voice tinged with sorrow. ”But please, Y/N, give us a chance to talk tomorrow. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

You looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes and the love that still lingered despite everything. Tears fell down your cheeks as you nodded slowly.

”I need time,” you admitted softly, your voice barely audible. ”Time to sort through this.”

Charles nodded understandingly, reaching out to gently wipe away your tears. ”Take all the time you need,” he said softly, his thumb caressing your cheek. ”I'll be here, whenever you're ready.”

”Where will you go?” You asked, not wanting to leave just yet.

”To your brother’s house,” he joked and smiled cheekily when you let out a small laugh.

”I love you,” Charles continued and seemed satisfied when you saw your tinted cheeks, giving into the temptation to kiss your hand. ”I’ll stay at Arthur's for the night.”

With that, you stepped out of the car, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. You watched Charles drive away, feeling the distance between you both but knowing that perhaps, with time, you could find a way back to each other.

Lando Norris

You sat in the break room at work, your lunch untouched in front of you. The memories of last night’s events still stung, the image of her hand on Lando’s thigh and the lipstick on his collar replaying in your mind.

Just as you were about to take a sip of water, the door swung open, and there he was, your— ex? —boyfriend, looking desperate and determined. You knew there was a possibility he’d try to catch you at work given that you’d taken away all other means.

”Y/N, can I please?” he said, his voice pleading as he pointed towards the hallway.

You nodded reluctantly and led him to an empty hall, away from prying eyes. The silence was deafening as you stood there, waiting for him to speak.

You nodded reluctantly and led him to an empty conference room, away from prying eyes. The silence was deafening as you stood there, waiting for him to speak.

”Y/N, please,” he started, his voice trembling slightly. ”I’m so sorry about last night.”

You crossed your arms, leaning against the table. ”Bet you had a good time, huh?”

”No, I didn't,” Lando said in disbelief before he took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. ”Nothing that happened there was intentional. We were all drinking, and she... she got too close. I should have pushed her away. I’m sorry.”

You scoffed, anger bubbling up again, finally fired up enough to speak your mind. ”Her hand was on your fucking thigh, Lando. And your collar— her lipstick was all over it. How do you explain that?”

He winced, clearly pained by the memory. ”I know it looks bad, but it wasn’t what it seemed. She leaned in close to talk to me, and I didn’t realize she had left a mark. It was a— just a stupid mistake, and I should have been more aware.”

”More aware?” you echoed, your voice rising. ”You should have cared about how it would make me feel! Instead, you shrugged it off like it was nothing.”

”I didn’t mean to shrug it off,” he said, stepping closer. ”I was wrong. I should have reassured you, should have shown you that you’re the only one that matters to me. Baby, please just let me—”

You looked away, the pain still fresh. ”It’s not just about the lipstick or her hand. It’s about how you made me feel like I was overreacting, like my feelings didn’t matter.”

”They do matter,” he said, his voice breaking. ”More than anything. I was an idiot. I should have pushed her away immediately. I should have come to you and told you everything before you saw it for yourself.”

”You know I only want you,” he added softly, his eyes pleading with you.

You shook your head, trying to hold back tears. ”That’s the thing, Lando. I don’t know that. I actually believe that y— you don’t at all.”

Lando’s eyes filled with tears as a broken whisper of your name left his mouth. ”I h.. have never, I never will. Ever.” He stressed. ”Want anyone— need anyone the way I want you.”

You kept quiet as you looked at him trying to catch himself. Lending him your hand that he squeezed in return.

”I can’t believe you would ever believe that but I understand and, I promise… I’ll be more mindful, more respectful. I’ll make sure everyone knows I’m taken, that I’m yours. Please, give me a chance to make it right.”

The weight of his words hung in the air, and you let out a slow breath, trying to not have a breakdown at your workplace. ”It’s going to take time, Lando. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight.”

”I know,” he said, relief washing over his features. ”And I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’ll prove to you that I’m worthy of your trust.”

”Okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. ”I’ll give it a thought, Lando. But if you hurt me again, we’re done.”

”I understand,” he said, his voice filled with determination. ”Thank you, Y/N. I won’t let you down.”

Max Verstappen

The streets were bustling with late-night revelers, their laughter and chatter a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside you. The restaurant's neon sign flickered as you stepped out into the cool night air, your phone clenched tightly in your hand.

Three hours. You had waited for three hours, hoping Max would show up for your anniversary dinner, only to find out from the story of your mutual friend that he was out with her again.

On your anniversary.

You made your way through the crowded streets, not caring where you ended up. You just needed to get away, to think, to process the hurt and betrayal. Your phone buzzed incessantly in your pocket, but you ignored it. Max's calls and messages could wait. Right now, you needed space.

After wandering aimlessly for a while, you found yourself at the edge of the city, near the river. The quiet contrast of the flowing water was a welcome change from the city's noise. You sat on a bench, pulling your jacket tighter around you as a light drizzle began to fall. The soft patter of rain on the water's surface was soothing, but it didn’t dull the ache in your heart.

Minutes turned into an hour, and the rain intensified. Your phone buzzed again, and this time you glanced at it. Last message from Max was a minute ago

Max: Y/N, please. Where are you? Let me explain. I’m looking for you.

You sighed, wiping away the raindrops mixed with your tears. Your fingers hovered over the screen before you finally typed a reply.

You: By the river. Near the old bridge.

You didn’t know why you told him, but some part of you wanted to hear him out. To understand why he kept doing this. Why would he even waste time with you if he was already in love with someone else?

God. Even the thought of that brought up a real pain in your chest. The rain fell harder, and you huddled under the small awning of a nearby building, trying to stay somewhat dry.

After what felt like an eternity, you saw a figure running towards you through the rain. It was Max, drenched and breathless. He slowed as he approached, his eyes filled with worry and regret. HIs clothes were all over the place, untucked and wrinkled and you only drew the worst conclusion.

”Y/N,” he gasped, stopping a few feet away. ”Thank God, you're okay.”

You stood up, arms crossed defensively. ”You’ve got five minutes, Max. Make it count.”

He nodded, taking a step closer. ”I’m so sorry, Y/N. I know I’ve let you down. I was with her tonight because she’s going through a really rough time. She had no one else to turn to.”

You narrowed your eyes, the skepticism clear. ”On our anniversary? How convenient.”

He flinched at your tone but didn’t back down. ”I know it’s no excuse. I should have told you. I thought I could help her quickly and still make it to dinner. I didn’t realize it would take so long.”

You shook your head, the anger bubbling up again. ”This isn’t the first time, Max. How many times have I had to wonder if she’s really just a friend? How many times have you put her before me?”

Max stepped closer, his eyes pleading. ”I’ve been blind, Y/N. I didn’t see how much I was hurting you. There’s nothing romantic between us. She’s just a friend, and she needed my help. But I see now that I’ve been unfair to you.”

Tears mixed with the rain on your cheeks. ”I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Max. The constant worry, the feeling like I’m not enough. It’s tearing me apart.”

He reached out, tentatively taking your hand. ”You are more than enough, Y/N. I’ve been an idiot, and I’m so sorry. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

You looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of deception. All you saw was sincerity and regret. ”How can I trust you again, Max? What did she even need help with?”

He squeezed your hand gently. ” She saw her ex at the club and he was being an asshole. I just went over for five to put him in his place when one of her friends posted the story. I’m sorry for the delay, baby. I know I should've been more transparent about everything. Just please, give me a chance to make things right.”

”Is she okay?” You took a shaky breath, your heart aching with the desire to believe him and he exhaled when you pulled him under the shit excuse of shelter you had from the rain.

”She’s okay. I promise I won't ever embarrass you this way again, baby. You won’t ever have to sit and wonder if I'm bailing because I found someone else or not.” Max took another deep breath. ”I never will, baby, you are the only one I want. I will never find anyone.”

You closed your eyes, the tears spilling over as you hugged him. ”I wanna go home.”

”Okay let’s go home, baby.” Max gently cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away your tears. ”But I need you to know. You are my priority, Y/N. I’ll never let you feel otherwise again. I love you more than anything, and I’ll spend every day proving it to you.”

You leaned into his touch, feeling a flicker of hope amidst the pain as you hugged him.

He sighed again, closing his eyes to soak in this. ”Happy anniversary, baby. I love you”

You pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a tired smile.

Carlos Sainz

Carlos's pleas had grown quieter, the urgency in his voice replaced with a softness that seemed to seep through the crack under the door.

You could hear his breath hitching, a clear sign that he was on the verge of breaking down himself. But you couldn’t get yourself to stand up as you sat on the bed, knees drawn to your chest, tears still streaming down your face as you tried to block out the sound.

”Y/N, please,” he choked out, and you could hear the tears in his voice now. ”I'm so sorry. I... I don't know what else to say. I can't lose you.”

The sincerity and raw emotion in his voice cut through you in a vicious manner, and against your better judgment, you found yourself getting up. You hesitated for a moment, your hand hovering over the doorknob, before finally opening the door just a crack.

Carlos was standing there, his eyes red and swollen from crying. When he saw you, a look of profound relief washed over his face. ”Thank you,” he whispered.

You stepped back, letting him in. He walked in slowly, as if afraid to invade your space, and you closed the door behind him. The silence was heavy, each second stretching into an eternity.

”I'm so sorry,” Carlos said again, his voice trembling. ”I swear, I didn't know she was going to kiss me. If I had known, I would have never invited her. I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally.”

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your own shaking voice. ”But you did invite her, Carlos. And I told you to cut her off so many times. Why didn't you listen?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking utterly defeated. ”I thought... I thought we were just friends. I didn't realize she felt that way about me. And when she kissed me, I was so shocked. I— I froze. I'm an idiot. I should have pushed her away immediately.”

”You should have,” you echoed, your voice breaking as you recalled that scene and it felt like someone was physically stabbing you. ”Do you have any idea how much it hurt to see that?”

Carlos stepped closer, his eyes pleading. ”I know, and I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, Y/N. You're the only one I want to be with.”

You looked down, tears falling onto the floor. ”How do I know that, Carlos? How do I know you won't let this happen again?”

He gently took your hands in his, his touch warm and reassuring. ”Because I can’t ever go through this again. I don’t want to know what it feels like to almost lose you. I'll cut her off completely. I promise you, baby, just, anything— it will never happen again.”

You pulled your hands away, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively. ”It's not just about cutting her off, Carlos. I can never get that image out of my brain now. What if you just wake up tomorrow that you didn’t get rid of her because yo— you…?”

You trailed off but Carlos understood and immediately shook his head. ”No,” he said firmly. ”I will never wake up with anyone other than you in my heart. You’re the one I love, the one I am going to live my life with.”

He didn’t let you speak as he carried on,”I understand. Trust is earned, not given. And I'll do whatever it takes to earn it back. I'll prove to you that you can trust me.”

You sighed, feeling the weight of his words. ”I want to believe you. But it's going to take time. A lot of time.”

”I know,” he said softly. ”And I'm willing to wait. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to trust me again. Just please, don't shut me out. Let me be there for you.”

You looked into his eyes, seeing the genuine remorse and love in them. Despite everything, a part of you still loved him deeply. ”Okay,” you whispered. ”But you have to understand, it's going to be hard. I'm still hurt, and it's going to take a while for me to heal.”

Carlos nodded, a flicker of hope in his eyes. ”I'll be patient. I'll be here for you, no matter what. And I'll do everything I can to make it right.”

”Alright.” You nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope yourself. ”Just... don't make me regret it.”

”I won't,” Carlos stepped closer, tentatively reaching out to wipe a tear from your cheek. ”I love you, Y/N. More than anything.”

You gave him a small as you leaned into his touch, feeling a mix of emotions, ”I love you too, Carlos. That's why this hurts so much.”

He pulled you into a gentle hug, holding you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. ”We'll get through this. Together.”

Lewis Hamilton

You paced around your apartment, the anger and hurt from the argument still fresh. The silence after the exchange with Lewis was deafening. You couldn’t believe he said those things. Your phone buzzed on the couch, but you ignored it, needing space to process.

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts. It was loud and persistent. You hesitated, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was.

”Y/N, please open up. I need to talk to you,” Lewis’s voice came through the door, sounding desperate.

You took a deep breath and opened the door. Your boyfriend stood there, looking remorseful.

”What do you want, Lewis?” you asked, your voice cold.

”Can I come in? Please, we need to talk,” he pleaded.

You stepped aside reluctantly, letting him in. He walked into the living room, turning to face you with regret etched on his face.

”I’m sorry, Y/N,” he started, his voice soft as he ran a hand over his face. ”I didn’t mean what I said. I was frustrated— but that’s no excuse.”

”You really hurt me,” you said, crossing your arms defensively knowing you had to support yourself before you start crying again. ”And you were so fucking cruel about it!”

”I know, and I hate that I did that to you,” he replied, his eyes sincere. ”I’ve been spending too much time with her, and I’ve been blind to how it’s been affecting you— us. Affecting us.”

”Why do you keep seeing her then? If she’s just a friend, why does it feel like she’s more important than me?” you demanded, your voice shaking.

”She’s not more important than you,” he said quickly. ”I’ve let the boundaries blur, and I didn’t realize how much it was hurting you. I’m sorry.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away. This was not what you expected. You were ready for a fight, sure that Lewis would come with his own weapons out but this was undoing you.

”It’s not just about her, Lewis. It’s about us. You’ve been distant, and I feel like I’m losing you.”

Lewis nodded, looking pained and sick. ”You’re not losing me, Y/N. I’ve been an idiot, and I’ve taken you for granted. I want to fix this.”

”How?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. Desperately clinging onto him to make amends because you couldn’t see any in hindsight.

”By being more present, by setting boundaries, and by showing you every day how much you mean to me,” he said, taking your hands in his. ”Please give me a chance to make this right.”

”Words aren’t enough anymore,” you said, looking down at your joined hands.

”I know,” he nodded. ”But I'm willing to go through any lengths, I’ll prove to you that you’re my priority.”

You searched his eyes, seeing the determination and regret. ”I want to trust you,” as your voice cracked, the very first tear fell down your face and Lewis immediately grabbed you as he pulled you to lay your head on his chest.

”I can’t though— I wish I could but I can't get hurt again.”

”I understand and I promise you can shoot me if I hurt you again” he said. ”I love you, Y/N. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

You leaned into his embrace, feeling a flicker of hope amidst the pain. ”I love you too.” You felt him take a sigh as he held you tight against his warm body.

”And I need you to understand that my feelings are valid,” you continued as you soaked his shirt with your tears. ”When I tell you something bothers me, I need you to listen and not dismiss it.”

”I promise I’ll listen,” he said, his voice full of sincerity. ”I’ll do better because losing you would end me.”

You took a deep breath, feeling a weight lift slightly. As you stood there in your boyfriend’s arms, you realized that healing would take time but there was no one else you would rather heal with. Though only time could tell what the future held for you.

Oscar Piastri

You closed your eyes as you heard the door of your best friend's apartment being knocked on again. Your mind was a whirlwind of emotions—anger, betrayal, sadness.

You replayed the messages over and over in your head, each one cutting deeper than the last as you contemplated whether letting Oscar in would be a good decision. You finally made the decision when you heard the neighbor’s lock moving.

You pulled him in before they could open their door or call the cops and finally took a look at him. He looked disheveled. His eyes were red from holding unshed tears as they glossed over once he finally took you in.

”Y/N,” Oscar started, moving towards you with open arms. ”Thanks for letting me in.”

”I almost didn't.” You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to keep your voice steady as you stepped away from his open arms. ”But you were waking up the whole damn building.”

Oscar nodded, looking down at the ground. ”I deserve that.” You took a deep breath, desperate to get this over with.

”Why, Oscar? Why did you lie to me?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. ”I... I was scared you'd get upset. I thought if I told you the truth, you'd leave me.”

”And now?” you scoffed, your voice rising. ”You think I'm not upset now? You think lying to me makes it any better?”

He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. ”Y/N, I made a mistake. A huge mistake. But nothing happened between me and her, I swear. We were drunk, and she sat on my lap for a picture. It was stupid and irresponsible, but that's all it was.”

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. ”Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Seeing her on your lap after you told me she wasn't even going to be there?”

Oscar reached out to touch your arm, but you stepped back once again and his eyes brimmed with tears. ”Y/N, please. I love you. I was an idiot, but I love you. I need you to believe that.”

You wiped your eyes, trying to compose yourself. ”How can I believe you, Oscar? When I don't even know if you really want me?”

He swallowed hard, his tears finally falling out of his eyes. Oscar looked defeated as if he was fighting a battle already lost.

”Please don’t say that. You’re the only person I want. I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. I'll never lie to you again. I'll be completely honest, even if it's something I think will hurt you. Just... please give me a chance to make it right.”

You looked at him, searching his face for any sign of deception. You saw only earnest regret and a desperate longing for forgiveness. You wanted to believe him, but the hurt was still so raw.

”I don't know if I can,” you whispered. ”You've broken my trust, Oscar. And that's not something you can just fix with words.”

He nodded slowly. ”I know. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I'll go to counseling, I'll give you access to my phone, my social media, anything you need to feel secure. Just please, don’t give up on us.”

You stood in silence for a moment, the weight of the situation heavy in the air. You looked around the dimly lit apartment, as you took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts.

”Okay,” you said finally. ”I’m willing to discuss this in the morning. But if you lie to me again, if you hurt me again, we're done. Do you understand?”

Oscar's face lit up with a mixture of relief and determination as his chest heaved. ”I understand. I promise you, Y/N, I'll never give you a reason to doubt me again.”

You nodded, as your lips quivered. ”I hope so. Because I don't think I can go through this again.”

He stepped closer, cautiously taking your hand. You allowed it, feeling the warmth of his touch. ”Thank you,” he said softly. ”I won't let you down.”

You stood together, still holding hands. The silence between you was different now—tentative, but with a flicker of understanding. You had a long way to go, but for the first time since those fateful messages, you felt like maybe, just maybe, not all was lost.

( writing masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

[chuluoyi]

HAPPY MARRIAGE

- nanami kento x reader

“you don't deserve to be unhappy. and i don’t want to be unhappy, either.” you have always wondered where did you and kento go wrong. in the wake of your divorce, as you both returned to single lives, you and kento would come to realize what constitutes a happy marriage is... and it takes more than just love

genre/warnings: post-divorce angst, crack, misunderstandings, arguments, hurt/comfort, bestfriend!gojo is going to help your love life, and fluff in the end!

note: this fic... goes through a major change overnight after i was struck with a wholly different plot *sobs* and then i went through a major writing block for at least a week before i know what words i'm going to write :') anyways, this isn't really proofread so please forgive any typos to the anon who requested this and others, i do hope you'll enjoy it! tagging @tiredkitten as per request <3

listen to: today more than yesterday - kim jong kook

a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT

general masterlist

No divorce ever comes easy.

When couples enter into marriage, they do so with the dream of a lifelong bond filled with love and compassion. You too did once. And even until now, you still want that for yourself.

When you married Nanami Kento three years ago, you thought it was for eternity. He was your dream man, the only man you could see yourself with. He embodied everything that was just and righteous, and he was also kind man, who would always put you first, shielding you from any sort of harm.

Even if the source of that ‘harm’ turned out to be himself.

“You don't deserve to be unhappy. and I don’t want to be unhappy, either.”

Strangely, you didn't resent Kento that much, in the end. At that time, both of you had come to terms with it and you couldn't blame anyone. But now, six months later, as you sat in this shabby bar, downing shots of gin with your thoughts swirling in an alcohol-induced haze, your emotions were all over the place, and moreover, the presence of a certain clown before you was just particularly irksome, and you knew that he was someone you could blame—

“Gojo, you prick!”

Gojo raised one righteous eyebrow. "Who, me? Sorry, but I'm not your ex-husband?"

Gojo Satoru was the witness to several milestone in your life. Insufferable as he was, somehow you clicked with him ever since your early days as a jujutsu sorcerer. You remembered sending him your handpicked wedding invitation, having him celebrating your promotions, and then coming to him with tears running down your face in the middle of the night, telling him, “We are getting a divorce.”

"You!" you snapped, slamming down your glass of gin, whipping your head around to face the blindfolded idiot that was your longtime friend. Your index finger accusingly aimed at him. "This is all your fault!"

"Wha—"

"Because of you!"

"Okay, now it's clear that you're just too far gone—"

You hiccupped, your tone laced with fiery emotion. "If it weren't for you—if you hadn't been so adamant about setting us up back then—!"

Gojo grimaced. Ah, so this was the so-called drunken musings. While it was amusing to see his friend of 7 years in this state, even he couldn't deny how a tad bit pitiful you were.

"...then maybe," you started to deflate, eyes watering and lips trembling, sniffling. "I-I won't have to go through this..."

Correction, you were so pitiful you had no idea. But still, as a longtime associate, he couldn't bring himself to abandon you there, wallowing in your sorrows all alone.

He sighed and patted your back. "There, there... what about I introduce you to other guys, hmm? See if it'll lessen the pain away?"

You shot him a look so hateful despite your bleary vision. "No! Last time you did, it ended in a divorce for me! I refuse to let you turn me into a two-time divorcee!"

"I'm pretty sure your marriage is far from my business, I'm just your kind-hearted, handsome broker—"

"Bah! You— tasteless prick!"

You burped loudly afterwards and Gojo winced, and then you suddenly (and theatrically, he might add) slumped face-down onto the table with a thud, passed out in all your drunken glory.

And Gojo could only stare at you in somewhat disbelief.

. . .

He thought then, that you were definitely going to owe him one after this.

More often than not, throughout the past six months, Nanami also found himself thinking about you too.

Despite his calm exterior, separation with you didn't come easy for him. There was a reason he married you in the first place—he had loved you, and he too wanted it to last. You used to be the reason he went home on time each and everyday, the reason he eagerly anticipated spending his weekends with.

Everything had fallen apart before either of you realized it. Some disagreements suddenly spiraled into lonely nights, no updates during longer missions, your tears, and then ended with both of you filing the papers in the city hall to end it all.

Six months ago, he thought he was final with his decision. He thought it was the best as he was faced with the sight of your tear-streaked face.

“Kento, I’m not asking m-much, am I?” you asked between sobs, wiping your tears harshly. “Aren’t w-we family? Shouldn’t we be doing a lot of things—together?”

Recalling that moment now, it tugged at his heartstrings anew. Yet, despite everything...

“I’m telling you, I know my limits—”

“Is that all you have to say? Don’t you know how sick with worry I am?” you ended up shouting at him, voice quivering. “Put yourself in my shoes and think: how can I possibly sleep at night, constantly fearing that my husband might—” your voice broke, fresh tears flowing freely. “—might not come back?!”

He was the one who backed away first, who made you lose all hope, and ultimately, placed the sentence upon you.

“If you don't have it in you to... then, perhaps it's for the best that we... just get a divorce.”

"Nanami-san, you okay?"

He looked up from the sizzling barbeque grill pan to his junior, Ino Takuma, who looked concerned as he flipped the meat. "You have been staring into space for a while..."

"I'm fine, Ino-kun." He looked down and grabbed the tongs, flipping his side of beef.

Ino let out a sympathetic sigh. "Honestly, lately, you seem down."

Words he was holding back were "ever since your divorce", but Ino was pretty sure his senior understood the implicaton.

Nanami hummed. "Sometimes life just doesn't go as swimmingly... I'm fine."

Ino never really knew you that well and was curious. In fact, he was so very curious. When it comes to Nanami Kento, everything he does and has done is always with justified and sound reason, but he might be biased because the 7:3 sorcerer was his role model.

It might verge on invading his privacy, but—

"They said... Gojo-san was your matchmaker back then?" he went through with the question anyway, testing the waters. "I don't mean to pry, but I just thought it's cute."

To Ino's surprise, Nanami's lips curled into a small smile. "It's fine, Ino-kun. I think it has become common knowledge by now. Yeah... he was."

"For you to have fallen for someone who was Gojo's acquaintance... it speaks volumes about how charming Y/N is."

"Mmm," he nodded slightly as he indulged in the grilled meat. "She is."

"Nanami-san." Okay, Ino was starting to think that he wouldn't be getting his point across if he went the roundabout way. He would shoot it straight then. "I don't mean to patronize you... but if you're really that miserable, then I think you should go back to her and talk things out, no?"

Nanami put down his chopsticks and let out a soft sigh, making Ino to immediately regret his blatant suggestion.

"Before arriving at such a difficult decision, of course we did try to discuss some things," he explained, his gaze meeting his calmly. "I don't take matters like divorce lightly, Ino-kun."

"But still... now—"

To drove the point home, Nanami chose to vocalize the conclusion that still left a bitter taste in his mouth to this day:

"She is unhappy with the way things are, and I have to come to terms with the fact that I can't provide what she needs."

Ino's gaze fell in dejection. "Nanami-san..."

Nanami chuckled fondly. “I appreciate your concern, Ino-kun. Thank you.”

In front of his junior, he could maintain composure and narrated the collapse of his own marriage as if he were a mere spectator. But in his heart of hearts, Nanami Kento wasn’t at all the stoic man he made everyone believed he was—the fact that he had failed to give you the life of happiness he promised on the day he proposed to you still stung him to this day.

It hurt him, but echoing your words, he couldn't subject you to a marriage that felt like a dull cohabitation with little understanding.

“We never really talk anymore, do we...? We never really work on our problems too. Kento, lately, I feel like... things have changed.”

Suppose what he had to do was letting you go now.

It was easier said than done, because when Nanami saw you the next day at the school—this being the first time in several weeks—he almost couldn’t keep his cool.

"Ichiji, don't be too stiff!" you slapped the poor guy in the back with a giggle. "It's just me, it's been a while!"

You didn't look much different than the last he saw you—still the chirpy self he unwittingly fell in love with, staying on top of the latest fashion trends and all. Yet, there was definitely something different about you, something he just couldn't quite identify...

And then those cheerfulness deflated when your gaze met his, eyes widening as you tried to get your bearings. "Oh—h-hi, Kento."

That's too forced. It was so unnatural that made him almost wince.

"Hello." But the tremble in his voice, too, betrayed him. "Have you been well?"

You shifted your gaze away from him, and right before you answered, you let out a cough, and that was when he spotted it: you looked kind of pale.

"I'm fine."

"Oh, that's good then."

Silence. This was the absolute worst.

Nanami exhaled. It was you he was talking to, his ex-wife. He knew you inside out—or at least, he used to. He knew you didn't like this dryness as much as he did. He had to say something.

He braved himself. "Are you here for a mission?"

You looked at him in slight surprise. "Oh... yeah."

Darn it. Another dry reply.

"There... is a cursed totem in North Tokyo," you elaborated, not really looking at him. "Gojo's out from tomorrow until next week. I'm substituting for him to assist the first years."

"Are you sure you're up for that?" Nanami found himself asking before he could stop. "I mean no disrespect, but you look a bit pale."

"I am," you snapped, leaving him surprised. It was as though he had unintentionally struck a nerve, quickly turning your mood sour. "I'm fully capable of handling this, Kento."

"Please, I don't mean to upset you. I'm just..."

Worried about you. Somehow his throat closed in, it didn't really feel right to say that now.

"—I know how rash you can be." He regretted his words as soon as they were out.

It was clearly a bad choice of words as you took offense, your expression quickly turned into one of disdain.

"How rich... that it's coming from you," you scowled.

Memories of your failed marriage flooded your mind's eye. The long nights your ex-husband didn't bother to leave you a message. How he would return home with wounds and blood staining his clothes. And now... he had the nerve to insinuate that you were the reckless one?

"I can take care of myse—"

"That's a whole load of bullshit!"

Good grief. Why must Gojo pick this exact scene to show up?

The blindfold took big strides and halted between the two of you, pointing one finger in your face.

“Last night, she got wasted. Like totally wasted! She could barely walk straight afterwards and then she had the audacity to blame me! Me! For all her mess! Goodness, I’m just a very chivalrous friend and yet—”

"Shut up!" you were horrified, face flushed with embarrassment. "Gojo, you complete jerk!"

Nanami wouldn't admit it, but there was always something between you and Gojo Satoru that made him a bit uncomfortable, even way back when the two of you were still married. Perhaps the closeness, the candidness you shared. He knew you wouldn't harbor anything for someone as elusive as Gojo Satoru, but still, it remained an uncomfortable sight for him.

Like there was nothing pleasant about knowing Gojo Satoru was the one taking care of you in your drunken stupor. You shouldn't have in the first place. If it were him, he wouldn't let you hurt yourself. If he were still the one by your side—

Despite himself, thoughts like that swirled in his mind far often than he would've liked.

Suddenly, the air felt stifling. Nanami didn't like this at all, and even as you two were still harmlessly bickering, he chose to leave.

"Oiii, Nanami!"

He had barely left the room when the person he disliked the most emerged from the door, following closely behind him. Gojo evidently knew what his thoughts were. As irritating as he was, the bloke was smart, he wasn't the strongest for nothing.

"Na-na-mi! You can't just leave like that! We're going to have lunch together—"

"Gojo-san," Nanami stopped in his tracks and let out an exasperated sigh, throwing the white-haired idiot a glare so hard it would curse him if only glares could. "Please stop bothering me."

“How cold-hearted,” the blindfold replied in a mocking scoff. “No matter how, she was once your wife. How could you not care one bit?”

“We have gone on our separate ways, and if she is good with the way things are, then so am I.”

What a lie. He still couldn't help but to care. If you ever needed his help in whatever way even now, he would still move heavens for you.

“And that’s where you’re wrong, Nanami,” Gojo suddenly interjected in a less playful manner. “She is really missing you, you know.”

But you had your best friend by your side, didn't you? Someone perfect, without equal. Surely, you wouldn't need him anymore.

Gojo raised an eyebrow. "How are you so sure that she's good with the way things are?"

"What exactly is she not good with?"

"Everything? You never ask her."

This was getting irritating, and before Nanami really lost control over himself, he finally drew a line.

"Gojo-san, I'm tired of people assuming things about our current relationship," he said, leveling a piercing look at him. "We are both adults. We reached the decision to separate because we both know why. If this is your way of showing concern, then thank you—but I'd prefer if you didn't interfere any further. We're handling this just fine, and by all means, I think people should stop associating us anymore."

With that, he left. Even when he wanted to stay longer with you, even when, in his wildest dreams, he wanted to rebuild everything with you again—

He knew you were there, hearing all of this.

Gojo clicked his tongue, clearly annoyed. "Grr... You're so stubborn..."

. . .

There was a reason why you went to the school. Yaga's sudden request and of course, the chance to see Nanami again.

But when your conversation ended in a bitter note and he walked away, a part of you plunged into instant panic, compelling you to eavesdrop on his conversation with Gojo.

But as expected from you cool ex-husband, he was all rationale and logic.

By all means, I think people should stop associating us anymore.

Nanami would think so, wouldn't he? And he wouldn't be bothered either.

You shouldn't have expected more. This was no television drama in which the couple would get back together that easily. You were living in the harsh reality of jujutsu world, which basically, was the cause of your divorce in the first place.

At one point, you found it all to be exhausting, but upon reflection, it was more painful to acknowledge that he never truly fought to keep you by his side.

Tears welled up in your eyes unbidden, and you walked away quickly, brushing them away.

This is it. There is no use hoping anymore.

If you weren't on missions, then you'd likely be drinking. This had been the undeniable truth over the past few weeks.

Gojo found both you and Nanami to be irritating. The way both of you would evade each other was just plain stupid by this point, since it was clear to anyone with eyes that you were still not over each other.

"Nanami! Why don't you join us for dinner tonight!"

And since you were such an irritable drunk, he chose to keep poking the easier target.

Nanami shot him a scathing look, definitely done. "I have a prior appointment. Goodbye."

"Hoh?! But! They'll have free drinks!"

For the life of him, Nanami just wanted to go back home. He had minus interest in free drinks and even less in Gojo himself, and he would make his points clear.

"For the last time, I'm telling you, I don't want any part in your—"

Ring! Ring! Ring!

"Ooh, wait a minute, Nanamin! I got a call!"

Nanami gritted his teeth in pure annoyance. He truly didn't care about his call and seized the chance to walk away quickly, eager to flee.

Until—

"Hello? Yes. Yes... what? Huh— Y/N is rushed to hospital?"

...and that caused him to halt abruptly. Suddenly, his entire body went rigid, as if he had been doused with a bucket of cold water.

You're hurt?

"I mean why—the hell? Severe bleeding?!" Gojo's voice dramatically rose, seemingly in surprise. "Whoa, uh, traffic accident?!"

Within seconds, everything as he knew it came to an end. He spun around, yanking the phone from Gojo's grasp, indifferent to whether it caught the latter off guard or not.

"Which hospital is this?" he demanded from the person on the other end, his voice rough and harsh. Suddenly, the fog in his mind dissipated, and he was consumed by panic.

"I'm sorry, sir, that's not—oh, it's Tokyo General Hospital—"

"Thank you." Nanami shoved the phone back to Gojo and broke into a sprint, in search of taxi.

At this moment, everything was a plethora of chaos—his surroundings melded into a blur, the constant honking of nearby vehicles echoed in his ears, and the relentless pounding in his chest threatened to overwhelm him. Nothing else held any significance. Nothing, except you.

Why did you get hurt? How did you even get into a traffic accident?

This was maddening. His world was falling apart hard and fast. The beginnings of heartbreak, stirring and churning in the depths of his stomach, once again threatened to drown him whole—

To others it may seem laughable that he was this shaken over an ex-wife, but precisely because you were his ex-wife was why he was running through the streets of Shibuya, opting not to take the cab as the traffic jam was at its peak.

Oh, how Nanami regretted it. He regretted a multitude of things; those long nights, silent treatments, your tears, divorcing you. If he could turn back the time, he'd do anything in his power to prevent that divorce from ever happening. He'd treasure you better, he'd make time for you more—

Because what if, now you were really slipping away from him for good? What if, he would never see you ever again?

Within minutes, he arrived at the said hospital, haggard, spooking the nurses, demanding your room number.

Thank heavens that the visiting hour wasn't over yet. He marched towards the said room, all of his logic and rationale flying out of window as he threw open the door.

And then he saw the pristine bed, IV drip, and you—

Sitting upright on the bed, turning a page of a magazine, your eyes widening and blinking at him in complete confusion—

Huh, what?

The last thing you would expect after waking up in the hospital was your ex-husband barging in unannounced, looking as though he'd just survived a whirlwind.

"Kento...?" you almost squeaked, taken aback at the sight.

His hair was a sweaty mess, his usually immaculate suit was crinkled and his tie was loosened, but it was the look in his eyes that grabbed your attention—as if expecting the worst.

“Are you alright?” he grounded out, approaching you in deliberately slow steps. “How long has it since you woke up?”

“Um... yes? Since about an hour or so.” You frowned. “Kento, what are you doing here?”

“They said you have severe bleeding, involved in an accident—”

“What! No! Did the hospital reach out to you?” you felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought. “I was sure I have removed you from my emergency contacts—”

“Gojo did—”

Suddenly, understanding dawned on him, and he cursed under his breath. “That rotten bastard!”

You blinked, unsure of what he meant at all. To his credit, Nanami didn’t dwell long on his thoughts and faced you once again with another fresh batch of confusion. “Wait, Gojo is your emergency contact? Why?”

“Should anything happen to me and a payment is required to settle it, he can handle the bills first?”

If Nanami didn’t look exasperated before then he sure did now. “Y/N… you…”

He released the deepest sigh imaginable before settling onto the sofa, further tousling his hair and removing his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

“Did you know I ran to get here because I thought something bad happened to you?” Nanami stated in a strained voice.

Why did your heart skip a beat? Why was Nanami suddenly playing the part of a concerned husband when the time for it has long passed?

Feeling suddenly irritated, you rolled your eyes. “I just passed out due to high blood pressure. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” his eyes squared on you, quiet anger behind them. “In what sense does you passing out ever ‘not a big deal’? What have you been doing?”

"Why does that even matter to you still?" you contested. "You were the one who said everyone should stop linking us together by now."

"Y/N, you're missing the—"

"You divorced me!" you screamed, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as the urge to cry threatened to consume you. "You... h-have divorced me, Nanami Kento!"

Nanami felt as if a blade had pierced and twisted his chest at the sight of you—your quivering form, the stifled sobs. He had never wished to see you in such despair again.

"So why!" you finally broke down and sobbed. "Why did you play the caring husband now? Why not before? Why do you keep toying with my feelings...?"

"I'm not." Nanami grunted, getting up and approaching your bed. "I never meant to. That was never my intention. I never—"

"Then what!? What are you doing? Why did you throw me out just like that and why now—"

"Believe me when I said that I never want you to be miserable!"

You halted mid-rant, eyes wide as you gazed at him. Blinking, you felt a tear roll down your cheek. It was the first time Nanami had ever raised his voice at you. Even in the past, he never had.

But suddenly, a sharp pain pierced through your abdomen, causing you to instinctively clutch it. You whimpered, a nearly involuntary squeak escaping you, feeling the intense burn inside.

Nanami immediately got a hold of your hunched form, alarmed. "What is it? What hurts?" When all you could manage were pained sniffles in response, he swiftly hit the nurses' button and enveloped you in his embrace.

"Hold on," he comforted, placing a hand over where you clutched your abdomen, trying to offer some relief in any way. "They'll be here soon, don't pass out!"

"Mmngh," you gripped his hand in response, squeezing it as you slumped into his chest. For the first time in six months, you were enveloped in his warmth once again, and despite everything that had transpired, you were deeply moved by his gesture.

It took seeing you in such distress to dispel any doubts Nanami may have had. You were so petite against him, so delicate as you squirmed amidst your tears.

Had you experienced pain like this in the past six months? The thought made his heart lurch. Did no one comfort you at all?

. . .

And that was when he decided it.

He never, ever wants to see you in any sort of pain, ever again. And should it happen, then he'll be the one staying by your side, just like this.

Alcoholic gastritis. You consumed so much alcohol that it irritated your ulcer and causes a really painful tummy ache.

You could feel Nanami's judging gaze on you as your attending doctor explained your predicament. Truth to be told, you were quite ashamed. Your unhealthy lifestyle were laid bare before your ex-husband and it made you feel like a kid being scolded for misbehaving.

After the doctor left, Nanami sighed and pulled out a chair next to your bed. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah..." you mumbled, avoiding his eyes. "Sorry, that... you have to see that."

But thankfully, he was unflappable as ever. "Nothing to be sorry about. It's fine."

You were kind of embarrassed of your outburst earlier too. While you didn't regret expressing your feelings, you pondered if could've done it in a less confrontational way.

At this point, you'd accept anything. Even if Nanami told you off after this—

"Let me continue from what I was saying earlier," he suddenly began, catching your attention. You perked up, and looked at him expectantly.

Nanami released a deep sigh, and the words he spoke next were ones you never thought you'd hear from him again.

"Did you remember what I said when I proposed our divorce?" he asked, somewhat rhetorically. You wordlessly nodded, because it was one of the lines that made you unable to hate him completely.

"I said, you don't deserve to be unhappy." Nanami looked you right in the eyes, undaunted. "And that still stands until now."

Now fully engrossed in his words, the rhythm of your heart intensified, echoing in your chest.

"It wasn't a decision I blurted out lightly. I know you're hurt, because I am too. I married you with a reason. I have loved you. and if you were to ask me now, my answer would be the same—I am still in love with you."

Why did it feel like your vision was beginning to blur once more?

"But," Nanami's face contorted into a frown, gazing hard at you. "If staying with me is what makes you miserable—if waiting nights after nights, hoping I can make it each time haunts you so much—then I'm more than willing to release you from that burden. I don't want to subject you to that life."

Warm tears slid down your cheeks. Sniffling, you averted your gaze, looking downwards.

"Look, I make you cry again," he sighed, a mix of fondness and sadness in his voice, as a bitter smile graced his lips. One of his thumbs gently lifted your jaw, while the other tenderly wiped away your tears.

"Kento, I—" you quickly looked up, swallowing the lump in your throat. You had made up your mind. "I don't want you to leav—"

"I know," he cut in, his voice solemn, as he stroked your tear-streaked cheeks. "I know, and that's exactly why I'm going to say what I'm about to say next."

And with his next words, your heart burst into complete, utter warmth—

"Let's start over." Nanami Kento's voice was your lifeline, anchoring you and keeping you afloat. "We can take our time. There's no rush—we can return to how things were in the beginning. And when you're ready, then and only then... will I ask you to marry me again."

The one person who has your heart in his grasp, someone whom you are willing to care way more than yourself... You were openly sobbing now and yet a radiant smile broke through your tears.

There was only one answer you had in mind.

Five years later

"Yes! Yes! Yay!"

Today was sunny, just like the day of your wedding. Memories flooded back as you glanced at the grand wedding portrait in the foyer, a snapshot of yourself and your husband in blissful celebration.

A smile tugged at your lips as you stared at the gentle smile on Kento's face amidst his typically stiff posture. You remembered his vows to you.

The one person who I will look for the rest of my life... is you. I have never met someone so important and precious to me that it hurts.

The sound of a car pulling up snapped you out of your reverie. Oh, he's home.

As you opened the door, your smile grew even broader, until a small figure darted past you at such speed that you were left gawking.

"Daddy!" your daughter's voice rang out with pure delight, leaping into your husband's arms the moment he swung the car door open, catching him off guard.

"Oh my, why are you so sweaty?" Kento inquired, scrutinizing your daughter with a puzzled frown, yet holding her close. "I thought we're going to the playground after this?"

"She's so excited for it that she keeps running and jumping around all the while," you chimed in with a gentle sigh, affectionately ruffling your daughter's hair as she beamed up at both of you.

Before long, the three of you set off to the playground, fulfilling the promise you had made to your daughter. As she entertained herself with the slides, Kento's low chuckle drew your attention. "What's so funny?"

"She takes after you a lot, you know," he remarked, a fond smile on his face. "The way she is just full of energy."

"Really? But sometimes she'll get this wrinkly little scowl on her face when she's annoyed—she looks like you then."

"Wrinkly...? No, surely I don't have that many wrinkles yet..."

Your laughter filled the air, a testament to the joy found in these simple, everyday moments.

Unexpected moments of joy, the comfort of family, and a love that had grown and evolved, stronger and more resilient with time...

And this, is what you'd call a happy marriage.

[seresinhangmanjake]

His Boy

Feyd-Rautha x wife!reader

Summary: Feyd is worried his son is too much like him.

Notes/Warnings: Part of the His series, but you don't need to read it prior to this. Typos, maybe, idk.

Words: 1325

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

Sometimes, Feyd has dreams—nightmares, really—where the son you share, who looks so much like him, is too much like him. Nightmares where your kindness and heart did not reach the boy you birthed, and so to replace the emptiness, the infant was filled with the hatred harbored within his father. Hatred that Feyd would like to say was born, not made, because were it born, he would have a better understanding of it. He would know that a man born with that curse can control himself around those he loves. But he wasn’t born with it; at least, he doesn’t think he was. 

That’s something he will never know for sure. The years that led to his mother’s death were full of harm and pain. He took her life because of what she turned him into. She sealed her own fate with his hatred, which did not disappear with time, not entirely, and he’s often wondered if tendrils of it have lingered too long; if hatred has wrapped around his soul so the two may never be cleaved apart. And if it is soldered to his soul, could it not have been passed down to the piece of himself that he shares with his child? 

He doesn’t know.

If his son came into the world with a blackness inside of him, will he be compelled to hurt those closest to him? 

He doesn’t know that, either.

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his son, he does. He’d protect him with everything he has. But he cannot trust something that almost took you from him once already. He cannot turn his back for fear the boy will instinctually bare his budding teeth and gnaw at your soft, fleshy spots when he’s not looking. He cannot let it be that whenever you are cradling your child in your arms, you are at the same time nurturing the means to your end. 

—

“You’ve stopped spending time with him,” you say, cuddling your son to your chest. The boy reaches up to play with the ends of your hair, his puffy lips spreading in a smile. 

Feyd blinks from his chair on the other side of your bedroom. His finger ceases its tapping on the dark leather armrest as his hard stare darts from the baby to you. “I’m spending time with him now,” he says plainly. 

You roll your eyes. “I mean alone. You’ve stopped trying to bond with him. You only see him if I’m here as well, and when you sit with us, all you do is stare at him with that—that—I don’t know,” you huff. “That weird look in your eye.”

Feyd scoffs and shakes his head as he pushes up from his chair. “You’re imagining things. I don’t have a look.”

“Liar. You look at him like you’re studying him,” you say, and enough beats pass that’s Feyd’s lack of words are a certain agreement. He begins pacing slowly in front of you. His hand runs down his face. “You swore to me that you loved him.”

“I do love him.”

“But you haven’t forgiven him,” you deduce. 

There’s an edge to your voice that makes Feyd wince. But how can he so easily forgive? The child nearly ripped you in two on his way into the world. You nearly bled out in front of him. He still has nightmares that only finding your warm body beside him can soothe. 

“How can that be?” you continue. “It wasn’t his fault, and I’m fine.”

“I know.”

“Then what is this?”

He debates not saying it; being the liar you've already called him out for being. But you’re too smart. Too intuitive. Too observant. You’ll figure it out eventually. It’s only a matter of time, and how much time, and if it’s so much time that you come to resent him for his prolonged dishonesty. 

Feyd stops pacing. His hands find his hips. “I don't trust that he's not like me,” he finally says. 

Your brow knits. “Like you…?”

“I killed my mother.”

Your mouth parts, then closes, unsure what to say. “Feyd–”

“It was so easy,” he tells you. Too easy—the way the blade slid across his mother’s throat as she slept. He was so young that he barely remembers, but he remembers that. He remembers the pain that solidified inside of him, even if his brain did not allow him to retain every instance of its infliction. He remembers the relief, brief as it was, considering it led to him living with his uncle—who only doled out more but happened to be more important and heavier guarded than his mother—but he never regretted his decision. He never hated the hatred. “And it felt good.”

Sighing, you stand and walk over to your son’s crib. You gently place your baby down and kiss his soft forehead. His eyelids are already closing with their heaviness when you walk over to your husband, and placing you hands on his cheeks, you say, “Your mother was horrible. You were justified.”

His hands fall to rest on your waist as your thumbs stroke sharp cheekbones. “Most boys would not have been able to kill their mother regardless of what she'd done. Especially not at the age I did,” he says. “I watch him because I'm looking for it.”

“It—what's it?”

“That capability. What I've got in me. I'm trying to see if it's in him.”

Your chin dips down. You swallow, then look back up at him. “Feyd, our son is not going to harm me, because I'm not going to harm him.”

“But what if you don’t have to?” he says. “What if it’s just there?”

“It’s not there,” you tell him. “And it’s not just there in you. If it was, you would hurt me, not love me. And you’ve never hurt me. Not once.”

“You don’t understand,” he says, removing your hands from his face and grasping them tightly in his. “You were—are—an exception. When we met, I wanted to want to hurt you. So badly. I would dream about it, and the dreams always started exactly as they should, but then you would cry and I would lose my mind.”

A look of realization settles on your face. “You used to wake up sweating.”

He nods. “I’ve had more lately,” he says. “He kills you.”

“He’s not going to kill me.” 

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” You squeeze his hand and start to pull him toward the crib. He follows—albeit somewhat relectuantly. “Look at him,” you say. “Feyd, look at our son.” His gaze eases down to the baby, and, almost imperceptively so, his face softens. “Look at what we made.”

He does. He really looks at the sleeping boy with the gentle breaths that inflate and deflate his little chest. He looks at the parted lips, a matching set to his father’s. The lashes, the same length as yours. 

There’s innocence there. Innocence in his defenselessness. Innocence is corruptible, he thinks.

“Feyd, he's ours,” you say. “We will raise him how we want, and we will raise him to be good. Well-trained and deadly when necessary, but good at heart.”

Good at heart has never been a Harkonnen trait. Not even he can be described as such. His heart is mostly black; you just happen to have made a small portion of that blackness dissipate. You and his boy. 

Feyd sighs and finds himself instinctualy reaching into the crib to run his fingers over the baby's smooth head. The skin is delicate in a way it never will be again and when the boy unconsciously nuzzles against the palm of his hand, a little jolt goes through Feyd’s system. 

“You have to trust me on this,” you tell him.

Tiny eyelids sleepily blink until they are open and blue stares into blue. And in that moment, Feyd thinks he can do it. He can trust you.

So he says, “Ok," and hopes that you're right.

---

A/N: this is not a clue into their future with their son. Feyd is just paranoid.

[skzthelomlhehe]

"But bestie... He's so hot..." "BRO THATS MY COUSIN" Lee Know x F! reader

Masterlist Total Masterlist Tag Reqs:@arestoucries

Genre: smut (A LOT OF IT), fluff, romance (I literally do not know what else genre this shit is please forgive me my exams are coming 😭)

Synopsis: You and your best friend Lee Yuna, both fresh college graduates, go to a beach house that you thought was owned by her uncle. To your surprise it was actually owned by her "snobby" cousin who was to spend the entire month long summer break with you girls. And that isn't the only surprise you'll get... You're in for more ❤️

Warning: use of 'toys', fingering, public sex, pool sex, spanking, mentions of degradation/praise kink (yes both because I'm kinky), soft bdsm, kitten-master Kink, unprotected sex, oral (both M and F receiving), mentions of pregnancy (if you squint)

A/N: Hey guuyyysss~ im back finally lol~ I had so much of writing done but the og post got deleted for some damn reason. Anyways~ I'm on a mission to make it kinkier and smuttier lmao~

Also if you see any typos or mistakes... No you didn't.

Vibe with:

"eekk!! Im so excited for this!! I've never been to a beach house before... Im gonna faint!!" You squealed getting the things out of the car after Yuna had parked it in the garage. "Girl I know! Uncle is so generous to let us have his beach house ALL TO OURSELVES NO LESS!!" Yuna squealed along.

Both of you cheered at the thought of the thrill that laid in front of you. Amidst all the chaotic joy, a voice broke you both out of your fantasies, "Damn why are you girls so fucking loud?? There's people here!" A mascular voice yelled out, seemingly frustrated.

You were still at the back of the car so you couldn't see the man's face. All you got was that the dude had a hot as fuck voice. "Minho oppa?? What are you doing here??" Yuna yelled back.

Minho oppa? Does she mean the Minho oppa she always grumbles about? The very snobby music nerd? You peeked through the car bunker and your jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"Snobby??? YOU BITCH!! WHICH PART OF THIS MAN IS SNOBBY????" You thought to yourself. The man wore a white tank top and black shorts with beach slippers. His hair was dark brown and fuzzy. FUCKING GORGEOUS! Your heart pounded in your chest. You've never seen a man this beautiful before.

You found your face getting hotter. You were sure it was as red as a tomato. "Y/n!!!" Yuna yelled next to your ear making you flinch and almost tripping. "What the fuck, Yuna?! Why would you yell in my ear?!" "Well maybe if you responded to me when I called you I wouldn't have yelled?!" "jee okay calm down! Now what's going on? Can someone tell me?!"

You looked around, the man aka Minho was chuckling while Yuna rolled her eyes and sighed, visibly frustrated. The guy helped you girls with your million bags and seated you in the giant living room with some juice and snacks.

Silence followed until you couldn't take it anymore, "can someone please explain??" You said frustrated. Turns out, the beach house wasn't Yuna's uncle's but rather Minho's and he was gonna 'supervise' the both of you during your stay here.

Shortly after, Yuna's mum called to let you guys know of it. Apparently she had forgotten to include that part in the list of things you both needed to know. So in conclusion, you were stuck in a huge mansion with your clearly grumpy bestie and her extremely hot cousin. This could either go completely disastrous or... *Aggressively fans face*

"I'm Minho. Lee Minho. Lee Yuna's very hot cousin." Minho introduced himself, giving Yuna a sly smirk before reaching his hand out for a shake.

"Ah I'm Y/N! It's nice to meet you too!" And just as you were about to grab his hand, Yuna grabbed yours instead, "And I'm Yuna. The clearly hotter cousin" she grinned frustrated mockingly at Minho, "and hands off! She's mine!" She hissed, hugging you like a kitten hugging her favourite human.

You giggled at the cute sight in front of you, "you're so cute, Yuna-ssiii~" you cooed at her. Minho leaned back on the couch in a manspread (NO CUZ THATS SO HOT), "oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, "we'll see about that. Though... I didn't think you'd snag such a hot friend, kid." He looked at you as if he were a predator looking at his prey.

It was a mystery how he had the innocent face of a bunny but inside he was more like a very sly kitten. "Well... I guess the cousins are similar in that aspect" you thought to yourself.

"now then, how about you guys go ahead unpack and rest up? I've got a pool too so you guys can relax there as well. Let's head to the beach tomorrow. It's already pretty late." Minho said, getting up with a heave. "I'll go prepare something to eat for you guys."

"ugh I'll skip. Driving since yesterday and eating all those snacks has got me an upset stomach. Not to mention having to see your face" Yuna glares at Minho, "I would rather sleep, hmph!" She huffed. Both you and Minho chuckled at her childish behaviour.

"this is why I said we should take turns driving!" You nagged at her, "buuuttt I couldn't possibly let my wifey driiivveee~" she hugged your arm, looking at you with a pouty puppy eyes speaking in a high pitched voice. You flicked her forehead as she returned an "ow!"

After much nagging and pleading, Yuna finally went to go shower while you stayed back to help Minho with the food. "So? How long have you guys been friends?" Minho asked as he cut up the apples while you washed the other fruits. "Ah, we met during the student orientation in college. We both sorta clicked over drinks, lol" you replied. Your eyes sparkled as you reminisced all those memories of you guys together.

"and? You guys are dating or something?" He continued. "What? Pssh! No! Yuna is so much like a child, she feels more like a little sister to me. Plus I'm straight. What about you? Are you seeing someone?" You kept the conversation alive, wanting to know more about this person.

"Nah, I'm not dating anyone." "Why not? You're literally so hot! I can't believe you're single!" Minho chuckled at your response, "haha I guess I just didn't find the one yet." He stopped cutting the apples and turned to look at you, "how about you? You seeing someone?" He asked. You stopped what you were doing and turned your back leaning against the counter, "hmm... Nope! As single as a Pringle!"

Upon hearing your answer, he inched closer to you, until he was standing between your legs, his hands rested on the counter on either side of you, his face inches apart from yours, "and you think I'm hot?" He whispered softly. His voice in itself felt like a drug. Some sort of an aphrodisiac. "Very..." You replied. Your voice low and seductive.

He brushed your hair away from your face, his eyes locked onto yours, "hot enough to want to kiss me, hm? I saw how you were practically drooling over me earlier." He chuckled. A blush crept up your face but you felt a wave of boldness wash over you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him a little closer "Hmmm... Yeah. Maybe I was drooling. Why? Are you gonna kiss me?"

A sly smirk painted your face. Your heart was pounding and you desperately wished he didn't hear. You surprised yourself by how bold you were. Was this really you? Damn... Good job Y/N 👏👏 {round of applause for the klutz!}

"Maybe I will~" he replied, his hand reached for your face, holding your chin gently as his other hand went for your hip, pulling you close. His lips grazed against yours, both of your breaths clashing against each other. You could hear heart beats. At this point, you had no idea whose it was.

Grazing turned to a deep kiss, both of you savouring the soft wet sensation. Amidst the heat of the moment, a sudden sense of deja vu washed over you. All of a sudden it felt like you've faced this similar situation. Breaking away from the kiss, your vision blurry, both of you panting, the foggy view of Minho seemed far too familiar to you. "Ha... Have we met before...?" You asked, still huffing. "Who knows~ have we?" He replied.

"what...?" Just as you were gonna ask more, a loud noise jolted you back to reality, "ARGH!! WHY IS THERE NOT A SINGLE BOTTLE OF WATER UPSTAIRS?!" Yuna yelled. Both of you immediately got back to your original positions just in time when Yuna came downstairs. "Jeez Yuna! You need to stop yelling so much!!" You yelled back.

After a bit more bickering Yuna decided to eat with you guys. The three of you sat on the grand table. Yuna next to you, Minho in front of you. She refused to let you sit with him.

You all chattered and for once, Yuna was finally laughing and not bickering with her cousin. You would steal glances at Minho every now and then and catch him looking at you too. It sent shivers down your spine and butterflies went rampant in your stomach.

After much more teasing, chattering and laughing you guys were done with dinner. "Y/N-aaaaaaahhhh" she whined, hugging your arm again, "come with meeeeee~ our oppa can take care of the dishes hehe~" she giggled, giving Minho a sly grin while she tugged at your shirt.

Minho looked done and disgusted by her whiny act, "ugh do you really think you're being cute right now?? Disgusting!" He pretended to gag while Yuna glared at him, popping up a middle finger. You laughed at the two's bickering and decided to follow, "ok fiiinnee~ I'll go with you but stop arguing jeez!" Yuna returned a very jolly cheer to your acceptance and pulled you upstairs catching you off guard.

You took one last look at Minho who smiled at you slyly before walking upstairs feeling flustered.

Having reached your room, Yuna flopped herself on the bed, patting the mattress asking you to sit down as well. You chuckled, crossing your arms, "Yuna... I haven't showered yet. You do realise that right?" "Gosh! Then go do it, pabo-ya! Why didn't you do it earlier?" She rolled her eyes before both of you joined in on a loud giggle.

You took a towel and a set of clothes before heading inside bathroom. You closed the door almost all the way but peeked through the open crack, "no peeking ok?" You warned, Yuna threw a towel at the door which you closed just in time, "you think I'm a pervert like you or something??" She laughed.

Locking the door, you put the fresh set of clothes and towels aside and proceeded to take your clothes off, looking into the mirror. You rubbed your eyes, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy when a sudden vision appeared in front of your eyes. It was a vision of you kissing a guy. Was it a memory from when you went to that bar a while ago? And if so, why are you remembering it now? You brushed it off and ran the hot shower letting yourself relax in the soothing heat of the (scorching hot) water (cuz you're just a girl 🎀)

After the shower, you came out feeling utterly relaxed. You noticed your friend was sitting up waiting for you while nodding off. You giggled under your breath getting closer to her quietly to boo her. "You're scaring nobody like that, Y/N-ah" Yuna glared at you. "Awww.... Could've played along, y'know!" You whined.

She rolled her eyes again before laughing along with you. Lying down, you turned to your side facing Yuna who was now lying on her tummy. "So? Wanna tell me why you hate him so much?" You asked. "Hate who?" Yuna turned to you. "Your cousin. You guys fight like kids, honestly!" You exclaimed. "Eehh... I don't hate him. He's just super annoying. Plus... There's also that incident"

"incident? What incident?" "The... One... At the... Ba..r.." "the bar??" Before you could get any other answer, Yuna had already fallen asleep. "Yuna? Yuna??? Hey!! You can't just fall asleep like that!!" You tried waking her up but the girl was just out like a light.

You sighed, laying on your back facing the ceiling knowing real damn well that this was gonna make you lose sleep. While your friend slept like a baby, you kept tossing and turning on your side of the bed unable to sleep as expected.

You got up, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. Your head was ringing for some reason. Just what was it trying to remember?? You went to the bathroom again, slipping a plain old bathing suit under a thick bathing robe making your way to the pool.

You loved swimming. Its what you do or at least try to do when you're stressed. You let the robe fall to the floor, gently placing your body in the water that was surprisingly warm. "Wow... Now that hits the spot.." you whispered, let yourself relax in the water.

"Does it now? Im glad." A voice spoke out. A very familiar one that jolted you back to reality. You turned your head to see Minho standing there. No shirt, just wearing shorts likely to go for a swim.

"oh uhm- y-yes..." You found your face getting warmer as you saw the sight in front you. Looking away immediately as if you could hide your expression, "a-are you gonna take a dip? I can leave if you want-" before another word escaped your lips, the man has already walked close to you. When you turned to look at him again, your faces were inches apart. "Nope. It's fine. You can stay." He smiled slyly again.

"My goodness!! When did he get so close?? How can he be so quiet?? What is he? A cat?? " You thought to yourself. Minho sat down on the floor, dipping his legs in the water while you leaned on the edge of the pool wall. It was the shallow end so you could relax pretty well. He gently swung his legs in the water while you made swirls in it. "So? What got you here so late?" He asked, "Hm... I couldn't sleep." You said, sort of absentmindedly before looking up at him. "What about you?"

"well... I usually come down here at times. Im not much a swimmer to be honest, but I've been trying to learn so I could go swimming with my friends. It's too embarrassing to do it in day time though... So I prefer practicing at night" he chuckled.

Your eyes glinted in interest. "Do you want me to teach you? Im a good swimmer myself, y'know!" It was true. You liked swimming and had been doing it since middle school. Plus, this could be an excuse for you to see him more often. You were gonna be staying for a whole month anyway. Might as well make it interesting.

He looked at you with surprised eyes, "you would do that?" He asked. "Mhm! Of course!" You nodded excitedly, "come on now! Get down here!" You raised your hands up, reaching out to him while all he did was stare at you with sparkly eyes. He leaned down, gently grabbing your face in his firm hands placing a soft kiss on your lips.

Your eyes widened at the sudden action, but soon they shut as you felt your heart pounding. You wrapped your arms around his neck, delving deeper into the kiss. Breaking the kiss, you both looked into each other's eyes deeply and passionately. "Couldn't hold back, huh? Who's the one drooling now, hmm?" You whispered in a sultry voice. He chuckled, "I can't help it. You looked so cute~" you gave him a mischievous grin and he raised his eyebrows knowing damn well that grin was no good. "What are you planni-" before he could finish his sentence, you pulled him into the water with a big splash.

He rushed out on the surface, pushing his hair back, "Hey!" He yelled. You laughed at the sight. He looked like a wet kitten who was very angry. After finally gaining stability in the water, he pulled you by the waist causing you to stumble, "and what exactly makes you think you can be so naughty, hm?" He whispered, his jaw clenching. His warm wet hands against your bared waist sent shivers down your spine.

"Now now~ let's not get hasty here~ I'm gonna be your teacher after all!" You giggle, sliding your index finger down the middle of his torso. He scoffed leaning in closer whispering against your ear, "sure teacher... And once you're done teaching me... I'll make sure you feel my wrath." His breath against your skin was hot despite the chill that followed. Your chest heaved as your breath got heavy. You felt your knees get a little weaker.

You pushed him away, holding him at arms lengths, "o-okay! That's enough! Le-lets get the lessons on." You looked away, your face a pretty pink. Minho chuckled, placing a soft kiss on your nose.

And thus, your lesson started. Each touch during the lessons sent sparks up your entire body. The sexual tension was undeniable. Around 45 minutes later, you couldn't take it anymore. The guy was a total novice and got countless giggles out of you from the way he struggled, but given how serious he was, you couldn't help but feel aroused.

"come on let's get going. We've been out here for long... We both will catch a cold at this rate." You said, looking away, trying to walk out of the water. But Minho had other plans. He held your arm as you tried to leave, pulling you in again, "and where do you think you're going, huh?" He raised an eyebrow. A mischievous look painted his face.

"T-to... To get to my room... Obviously..." You blushed hard. You couldn't look into his eyes. Your heart pounded in your chest like there was no tommorow. He gently place his index finger under your chin, pulling your face up to make you look at him. "This fast? I told you, you'd feel my wrath after we were done, didn't I?" He smirked. You whimpered under your breath, "wha... What do you mean...?"

"You're really gonna ask me that? Why don't I show you instead?" And with that, he leaned in for a kiss. At first you were caught off guard, your eyes widening but soon you closed them shut, wrapping your arms around his neck while he wrapped his around your waist, pulling you closer as if to close any bit of gap you both could've had.

You moaned into the kiss, grinding against his crotch. He broke away from the kiss, scoffing again, "hah... What a naughty girl." His voice was a low whisper, a sultry tone. You breathed heavily from the after effects of the kiss. You had been aroused the entire day practically and you couldn't take it anymore.

"yeah... Im a naughty girl... So punish me, won't you?" You huffed, pulling him into a deep kiss again. Your tongue darted out, wanting to penetrate his lips. He smirked into the kiss, granting you permission to enter. Minho grabbed the back of your head, threading his fingers in your hair deepening the kiss.

You moaned into the kiss, your body wanting more. He slid one of his hands down to your ass, grabbing it and giving it a tight squeeze. You squirmed a little in his firm hands. Breaking the kiss, you both huffed. Both of your eyes locked onto each other's in a lustful gaze.

"Let's stop at that, baby... It's just your first day here. Don't want you to get tired too fast..." He chuckled, tugging a few strands of your hair behind your ear, a seductive spark glistening in his dark brown eyes.

The rest was a haze. Somehow you got into bed wearing your nightsuit, your hair dried. Yuna slept like a log unbeknownst to all the adventures you had in that short while. You stared blankly at the ceiling wondering what just happened and soon drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, you woke up feeling groggy with the very little sleep you got. To your surprise, Minho was quite energetic as if he didn't get the same amount of sleep as you if not lesser. The entire time you both had breakfast, you couldn't keep your eyes on his. You felt shy... A bit too shy...

The day went by without much except for the sexual tensions that still lingered. Every touch, intentional or not, sent shivers down your spine. You found yourself biting your lip at the thought of wanting to be touched and ravaged by this man.

And thus, it started. A daily routine. Every night you both would come down to the pool when Yuna fell asleep given how heavy of a sleeper she was. You both would greet each with a soft kiss and get into the lessons. When done, you'd give him a reward for doing so well.

It started with kisses, then fondling your supple tits, then letting him feel you from over your bikini that barely counted as clothes, really. On the beach you would sometimes find him staring at you with hungry eyes as you splashed around in the ocean. You would pull him to a secluded spot to make out but that's all. He wouldn't go any further than over the clothes.

A week or so later, he had gotten a lot better at swimming. After you both were done, as usual both of you made out again. He touched you again, making you moan, "Oh... Oppa..." You mewled at his hot touch. He looked at you, eyes widened. You looked back at him, a wave of shame washing over you. "I-im so sorry! I don't know why I..." You looked away and before you could say anything, he pulled your face back to his, diving in to a kiss.

"why? That was cute... You should do it more..." He smirked. You bit your lip. You couldnt take it anymore. The slowburn was too much for you. (Pretty sure it's the same for us as well lol) "no. How about you make me do it, instead?" You gave him a mischievous smirk, giggling like the naughty slut that you were.

He grabbed the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair, "make you huh? You sure you can take it?" His voice was stern. You loved it when you were treated bad. It just added to your arousal.

"mhm~ I can take anything~" you hummed. The smirk never leaving your face. Your lips were barely a centimetre apart, the tips of your noses softly grazing against each other.

He chuckled under his breath, his hands reaching for the waistband of your panty, his fingers hooking onto it. "You've been warned, kitten." "so I have~"

Both of you shared a deep hungry kiss, his hands pulled down your panties making you gasp in his hold. He gave your butt a quick squeeze before one of his hands came down to your front, rubbing your swollen bud.

It felt like you could cum from just that. You haven't felt a man's touch in so long. But this time in particular, something felt awfully familiar.

It was then that you remembered, a few months, almost a year ago, you and Yuna went out for some drinks at the bar a few blocks away from your dorm. There, both of you got drunk. You were carried to your dorms by a man who had taken Yuna as well. When he dropped you off at your room, you kissed him, almost making out. You asked him to touch you, so he did, but only to an extent. After having rubbed your clit a little, he stopped. You whined at the absense of his hands. But he said something that you vaguely remember, "not now, kitten. You won't remember it when you wake up anyway. Plus, I would rather do it when you're sober instead." And left. You had finally remembered. That man was none other than... Minho.

"you... We... You were the one who got u-us... home from the... The bar that... day..?" You could barely breathe, let alone speak. But you wanted to ask, and you wanted to know. Minho chuckled, holding your face gently in his hand while his other hand was still busy playing around with your nub, "so you finally remembered, huh, kitten?" He smirked and thrusting a finger in almost instantly making you gasp a moan.

"and since you finally remember... Im gonna give you all the things you begged me for that night... Only if you beg again~" you looked at him in surprise. Biting your lip, you smirked. Your grip around his neck tightening, pulling him closer. "Yeah~ your kitten wants it as much as she did that night. Won't you give it to me~?" Your eyes glistened in plea as your lips puckered to form a pout.

"oh I sure will..." His eyes stayed adamant on yours and so did the smirk on his face as he picked you up, seating you on the edge of the pool. "Spread them." He commanded, you licked your lips and spread your legs wide apart for him to see. He hooked his arms under your thighs, kissing a softly biting your plump thighs, climbing up with each touch.

Soon his face was barely inches apart from your throbbing wet folds. His tongue darted out, licking your slit from the bottom to the top making you shiver. The cold wind flowing on the rooftop added to your arousal as well.

You whimpered and gasped under his touch. His tongue ravaging your insides. Penetrating your hole and licking your swollen nub. Filthy wet sounds along with your moans and his grunts were all you could hear. It was a feeling you'd felt never before. You couldn't understand what made you shiver more, his touch? Or the way the cold wind hit your wet body? Honestly, you didn't care anymore.

You held on to his head, your fingers tangling in his hair into a grip as you pushed him in even more. He unhooked one arm, giving love to your twitching clit whole fingering you ruthlessly. He looked up at you, a moaning mess, with hungered eyes of satisfaction. He chuckled as he sucked more into your folds.

You could feel his veins inside you. Not in a gross way. It just felt so... So right. (Yes I took inspiration from here lol. Credits to @bbokicidal) you bit your lip, trying your hardest not to make more sound than you should. That was, until, you felt a knot form in your belly. And you knew exactly what that meant. "A-ah...! Cuh-cumming! Im cumming!" You moaned out loud. Louder than you were supposed to.

"nuh-uh. Not yet." Minho pulled away from you, leaning up to kiss you again. You could taste yourself. All this time, you'd thought that kissing right after being eaten out would be disgusting but it wasn't that bad. You whimpered and begged, "p-please... Let me cum... Please, oppaa..." Minho just smirked, "not that easy, kitten. You had your chance and you blew it. And it's not gonna be 'oppa' for you anymore." He licked your neck down your jaw. Biting into the flesh above your collarbone.

He got up, sitting next to you kissing you again. "Fuck... Your lips are so delicious I just can't stop kissing them." He whispered, grabbing onto the back of your head, roughly pulling you down. "Your turn." He commanded, your face right above his bulge.

You gulped, pulling his pant down revealing a big throbbing and veiny cock. It was firm and girthy, much like his hands. You were doubtful, wondering if you could even fit it halfway in your mouth. "Go on now, suck." His voice was low into a growl. You were scared but you were equally aroused. Letting your hands trail up to his hot length, you slowly licked the tip, letting it dive into your mouth.

A muffled moan came out of your lips as you struggled to take it all in. (I legit came back to continue writing only to realise the next 7 paragraps (yes I counted) I wrote are gone. Like- gone. Apparently Tumblr didn't save it and I'm losing my mind rn. 🙂) He pushed your head further in, a loud groan left his lips as the tip of his cock hit your throat. You whimpered with the sudden intrusion. It was a bit painful getting used go it, but in no time you loved it. You were a woman with many kinks. You liked a little bit of pain every now and then and this pain was perfect.

You bobbed your head up and down on his dick, liquid oozing out of your lips. At this point, you weren't sure if it was your saliva, his precum or just a mix of both. Minho threw his head back, moaning uncontrollably at your action. You licked and sucked, occassionally pulling away and stroking his length.

"Fuck... You're such a good kitty... You're taking it so well~" he groaned. That just added to your arousal. Your mind was fuzzy and you couldn't think straight. Your eyes glistened in ecstacy and your pupils wouldve turned into hearts had you been in an anime.

You reached down to his balls, massaging his sacs. "Sh-shit Y/N... Cum... Gonna cum..." Minho groaned. Having heard his warning, you pushed his cock deeper inside your mouth. He scoffed at the sight, "wanna drink me up, huh? Since you're so eager, I'll let you swallow every last bit of it. Don't you dare let it go to waste."

Your heart pounded in your chest hearing his threat. Minho was red down to his nape, helping you suck him off. Without wasting much time, with one last thrust in, strings of white warm cum shot into your mouth. You swallowed around his cock making him let out a grunted moan.

You licked his cock clean, following suite, not letting even the tiniest drop go to waste. You didn't let another second go to waste as you climbed up on him delving into a kiss, letting him know exactly what he tasted like.

Your arms rested on his shoulder, both of you panting. Your chests heaving from the heavy breaths. "I've... I've been such a good kitty... Won't you g-give me... A reward...?"

He laughed at your desperation, grabbing your hips. "Yeah... You've been a good kitty... I should definitely reward you." He smirked. You positioned your entrance on his tip while he rubbed on your folds. One of his hands holding your hips steady while the other's thumb played with your clit.

You pushed his cock in, gasping as your hole stretched from the impact. Your head fell on his shoulder. He pushed you down slowly, helping you get used to his size. "Easy kitten... Relax... You're gonna snap me in half..." He groaned. "Big... S-so... Big..." You cried. "Mm... I know, baby... I know... Just a little more..." He hummed.

You let yourself relax in his firm arms, finally putting the entirety of his length inside your core. "Le-lets... Let's stay like this for a little..." "Sure, kitten... Take your time..."

You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, letting yourself get used to his size. A few moments later, after you had finally gotten used to his length, you let yourself lift up a bit and push down. Not a word needed to be said for Minho to grab hold of your ass and help you ride him.

You whimpered and moaned as you rode him. A few thrusts later, your paces fastened. You moaned heavier now, your tits bouncing from the action.

While you rode him, Minho grabbed both your tits, fondling with one and sucking on the nipple of another. "Sen... Sensitive..." You whimpered, shivering from the stimulation. "You like that, don't you kitten?" He continued to lick and suckle on the plump flesh of your breasts.

A while later, you felt a familiar knot form in your belly again. "M'gunna... Gunna cuuumm..." You moaned. Minho was amused and aroused at the sight. "What a naughty slut. A good fucking slut. You haven't even been riding me that long... Gonna cum already?" He groaned, biting your shoulder making you yelp. "Y-yes... Yes...! Please... Let... Let me cum please....!!" You begged desperately. "Go ahead, baby... Go right ahead... Cum all over me..." He lifted you up higher, slamming you down on his cock.

You moaned out louder, feeling an overwhelming wave of pleasure flood in. Letting your load go off on his dick. Flinching and trembling from the stimulation. Safe to say, you were VERY close to losing your mind.

Minho took this chance of your defenselessness and pushed you down on the cold hard floor making you yelp, your eyes widening in surprise. "My turn to go crazy darling... You were being such a dirty little whore just now... I can't let you go that easy can I?" He said, pulling out almost all the way and slamming hard into you.

You shrieked at the sudden slam, "aah!! I-I just ca-came!!" But he had no plans of listening. Slamming into your relentlessly, his pace faster than ever. Your nails dug into his back as if to mark him as yours while he left his love bites on your tits claiming you as his.

Both of you fucked like beasts. He didn't hold back. You let loose again, blowing another load, squirting on his dick. He pulled out, rubbing his dick roughly on top of your belly. "Fuck..." He groaned before shooting out those white strings of ecstasy all over you.

He panted after blowing his load, looking at you with a gaze of deep satisfaction. He used his hand to spread his cum on your belly like some lotion while you laid there flinching. Safe to say, you had lost your fucking mind. "What a sight... What a good fucking sight..." He huffed.

He gave you another soft kiss before picking you up bridal style. He carried you to his room, cleaning the both of you squeaky clean. He put on your night suit on you while you laid there tired out of your mind.

He carried you down to your and Yuna's room where she laid asleep, clueless of all the adventures. Given how thick the walls were and how heavy of a sleeper Yuna was, it was less than likely that she heard you both. You let out a sigh of relief.

He laid you down on the bed, giving you a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. He leaned close to your ear whispering, "I'll see you tomorrow night then, kitten... Sleep well..." You blushed hard, hiding yourself under your blanekt peeking through it like a child.

He chuckled under his breath when suddenly Yuna moved. Turning to face you both and throwing her arm and leg on you. You and Minho flinched thinking she was awake. But she continued to snore. You both sighed in relief again. He waved a bye at you and you slowly waved back.

And thus started a new routine. Every night you would help him learn swimming and after each session, making out was the least you would do. Kissing underwater to full on fucking while your bottoms remained submerged. The nights felt like wet dreams of all your kinks full filled.

One day while on the beach, Minho looked at you licking his lips as he stared down you playing in the water with Yuna in that sexy bikini of yours, thinking of all the ways he'd ravage you that night.

All of a sudden you were approached by three men. They were thin and almost scrawny in your eyes. I mean, after laying your eyes on Minho, any other guy would just look like squids (skz is an exception and you can't change my mind 🗣️).

You let yourself have a small conversation with them since they didn't particularly make you uncomfortable and you didn't wanna seem rude. That was, until, one of the bigger guys rested his arm around your shoulder. That made you uncomfortable. They started cracking jokes that just added to your discomfort.

Before you could pushed them off, a voice called out. "Oi. The fuck do you think you're doing?" Minho chimed in and he looked mad pissed. Behind him stood Yuna in all her glory. Both Lee cousin glaring at the men. Yuna was a black belt in Taekwondo and also recently started learning Muay Thai which meant she was quite built. Minho himself looked menacing since he was well built as well.

Forget squids, the dudes looked like little shrimps on front of the two. Minho glared at the guy who had his arm around you. Without a thought the dude let you go. The three of them looked at each other awkwardly before clearing their throats and walking away, heads hanging probably ashamed.

"hey? You okay?" Yuna asked, handing you one of the bottle of waters she had in her hand. Her gaze soft unlike just a moment ago. Her eyes glistened in concern. You nodded, smiling back at her, "I'm okay. They didn't do anything don't worry."

Minho on the other hand still looked extremely pissed. "Yuna. Go get us something to drink. Gotta cool myself off." He commanded, his eyes locked into yours. You flinched, feeling a little scared but aroused at the same time. "What?? Why me???" Yuna whined. Minho glared at her, making her flinch. "Fuck fine. I'll go. Y/N-aaahhhh come with me!" She was about to hold your hand when Minho commanded again in a stern voice, "She stays. You can go alone." Yuna looked a bit awkward but she didn't say anything. She knew when to not poke her nose and she quietly left.

Meanwhile, Minho grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards a big rock in a secluded area catching you off guard. "What are we doing here?" You asked, you didn't dare look at him in the eye.

(this part with "your guilty pleasure" by Henry Versus is a MUST)

He pushed you against the rock, holding your chin gently. Your lips not even inches apart. Your breaths crashing with each other. Your knees felt weak.

His dark brown eyes had an intense look, his stern gaze never leaving yours. "Did that feel good, kitten? Being touched by some random guy? Think I didn't see you smile all nice and shy to them you fucking slut?" He groaned. Your breath was shaky, fear and lust overcoming you.

"n-no... I... I just... I was just trying to be... Nice..." He mumbled. His hand trailed down to your neck in a feathery light grasp. His other hand, pinning you to the rock. "And who gave you the permission to be so nice, hm kitten? I know you're a whore but don't forget you're mine, ok? You only get to be slutty around me and just. Me. Is that clear, my love?" He whispered back in a sultry voice. His eyes almost looked maniacal. As if he was obsessed with you.

You liked it. You liked being obsessed with. You loved being treated like this. Boldness took over you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, "why? Jealous? Scared someone else will take me, hm?"

He scoffed, his hold on your neck tightening a little more making you gasp. You looked at him slyly. Loving every touch. "You'll never find anyone better than me anyway..." He chuckled, kissing you deeply. His tongue intruding your lips before you could even react making you moan into the kiss.

That hand that grabbed on to your neck slid down to your tits, squeezing you roughly making you yelp. You tried to break away from the kiss, but he just grabbed on to the back of your head while fondling your boobs, kissing you relentlessly until you were out of breath.

He trailed down leaving wet kisses down to your boobs, suckling on your nipples while his hand slided down your body making you shiver under his touch.

He hooked his hand under your knee, pulling it up to your belly while his other hand pushed aside your panty. "I'll fuck you so hard you won't even have time to think about another dude." He pulled out his cock that was hard and throbbing. He rubbed it on your hole.

But you know what he didn't forget? Foreplay. Sure, he wanted himself to be engraved in every inch of your body, but he didn't wanna hurt you. He spat in his fingers, sliding them in to your pussy. "Fuck... Look how wet you are already, kitten... You like it when I call you those filthy names don't you? You fucking whore." He grunted. The way he called you whore just made you clench around his fingers making him chuckle.

The leg being held was almost starting to hurt as he focused on fingering the wits out of you. After a little more of prepping and deeming you ready, he pulled his fingers our making you whine. He let go of your leg, turning you around. Your back now faced him.

He rubbed his dick on your folds a little more before pushing it in. You moaned, taking him in. He held you, pulling you close to him, shutting down any gap you might've had between the both of you. With his other hand, he turned your head, kissing you as he fucked you till you lost your mind.

You moaned out his name. Honorifics? Well fuck that. He liked it when you called him Minho in that sexy raw voice of yours. "Angh~! Aahh! Min- Minhooo~ too much. You're... G-going too... Too hard... Slo... Slow doowwnn..." You moaned. He spanked your ass and scoffed, "slow down? Slow down my ass. You like it when it hurts. You like when I go rough don't you? I know you can take it, kitten. So take it."

With another hard slam, you moaned loud. He shoved his fingers in your mouth, "shhh kitten... I know it feels good but you gotta keep it down... You can moan like a slut when we're home, love. Be a good girl won't you?" The fingers muffled your moans but you really couldn't hold back. Not when he was being so fucking ruthless.

You grabbed on to his hand. He pulled out is fingers. "Gon... Gonna... Gonna cum master..." You whined. "Oh yeah? Go ahead. Cum all over me, kitten. Do it." He ordered.

Without another wasted second, you bit your lip, letting loose on him. Twitching and flinching from the aftereffects. He pulled out, stroking his dick on your back, cumming all over you. Both of you panted heavily. He took off the small towel that was around his neck and used it to clean both of you up.

You fixed your bikini, still panting. You turned to him, hugging him close. "So? Were you jealous, darling?" You asked, a sly look in your eyes. "Come on, kitten. You're mine and I'm yours... Would you not be upset if some girl was all over me, huh?" You chuckled at the idea, placing a kiss on his lips. "You say that but we aren't even dating yet..." You nuzzled your nose on his, holding him close.

He was about to say something when a sudden noise flinched you both back to reality. Turning towards the source of the noise, both of your eyes widened in horror. It was Yuna. She had gotten drinks for the three of you. But the sight of you guys kissing had made her drop the drinks. She stood there stunned, "Wha... What are you..."

The drive back home was dead silent. Yuna refused to look at you both. Sitting alone in the backseat while you sat on the passenger seat and Minho drove.

When all of you got home, Yuna stormed upstairs. You hurried ans followed her while Minho flopped down on the couch sighing knowing him going up there would just fuel the fire. "Shit... I fucked up real bad didn't I...?" He groaned.

Meanwhile upstairs, Yuna was about to slam the door shut but you came in the way, "Yuna please! I can explain!" You cried out. "Explain what? That you've been screwing my fucking cousin behind my back??"

"look Yuna... Im sorry... But please let me explain..." You sighed. She just threw the door open, flopping down on the bed, seething.

"come on don't be like that..."

"like what?"

"you're mad at me..."

"I'm not mad."

"uh-huh... Sure. I can literally see smoke coming out your ears."

"how long has this been going on?"

"Yuna please look at me..."

"I'll look at you when you tell me."

"f-for a while..."

"how long?"

"since... Since the day we came here..."

Yuna jolted, looking at you with a swift turn of her head, "WHAT?! WHEN?! I WAS WITH YOU THE ENTIRE TIME!!!"

You gulped, "we-well... When you fell asleep... I was giving him swimming lessons and we... Um... Just..."

"wait... When I was SLEEPING?!" She yelled.

"I'm... Im so sorry..." You stood there, like a child being punished for breaking a vase.

"wow... While I was sleeping you slept with my cousin?? Were you like... Recreating the bar moment??" "Wait... You knew...?" "Bitch that's my brother of course I know!! Is that why he's been so nosy about my friends?" She looked away, wondering deeply. "Huh? He was what?"

"argh girl come sit the fuck down. There's so much you need to know." She pat on the bed asking you to sit. You quietly followed.

Apparently, after dropping the two of you off at your dorm, Minho had grown excessively curious about Yuna's friends. He'd been looking to talk to you but always held himself back because he didn't wanna seem weird.

"he would always ask about my roommate but since Kim Bomi is also my roommate I didn't know whether he was talking about her or you. Should've known it was you since he's never seen Bomi. Apparently he's seen you before the bar incident too. He always stopped before asking anything too personal cuz he thought you might find him weird."

You were surprised at the revelation. Realising he might harbour feelings for you. This all happened at the beginning of your third year which meant around 7-8 months ago.

You sulked, feeling like you betrayed your friend. She glared at you, while your head hung, your eyes glued to the floor. She smacked your back, making you yelp, "YAH! WHY YOU SULKING!" "CUZ I FEEL LIKE I BETRAYED YOUR TRUST"

You sniffled, on the verge of tears. "AYE! WHATS THERE TO BETRAY?! I mean yeah I was sorta caught off guard when I saw you kiss my cousin and shit but I'm not betrayed!! Just upset you didn't tell me" she looked away pouting. "I was scared you'd find me weird or shit." "The only way I'd find you weird is if you fucked some 40 year old." You cringed at her statement. Clearly disgusted, "exactly." Yuna scoffed.

"well I mean... If I marry him I'll be... Well... You're sister in law hehe" "girl- I know I always wanted you to be my sister BUT NOT LIKE THIS??? IT FEELS WEIRD!" "But bestie... He's so hot..." "BRO THATS MY COUSIN"

In the end of the day, Yuna accepted the fact that you screwed her cousin despite her finding it cliche. You both came downstairs to Minho sitting down on the couch, manspreading and his eyes closed. While you found it extremely hot, Yuna had a cringed expression.

"get the fuck up, you ass!" She yelled. Minho groaned. Sitting up straight, looking at you both. "Yuna... Look... Im sorry..." "Save it. I heard everything." She crossed her arms, looking away again in a pout, "I know you like her but make sure you make her feel comfortable." Minho chuckled. "I sure will." He looked at you, love overflowing in his eyes. It was then that you realised, what this man felt towards you wasn't just some simple attraction or lust. He actually did like you.

He then turned to look at Yuna, "please don't tell aunty about this, Yuna..." "Don't worry I won't..." She mumbled. Both you and Minho looked down, relaxing your shoulders and sighing. Yuna, although, had other plans. She smirked slyly, "in exchange... You won't tell mum about the fact that my boyfriend and I are gonna go out on a date tomorrow." "Wait what?!" You and Minho looked at her, baffled.

She cackled, finding extreme satisfaction with your reactions. "But thats-" Minho tried to speak only to be cut off my Yuna, "come on you don't want aunty or my mum OR Y/N's parents to know that you guys fucked right? Her mum might let it go... But will aunty and uncle? They trusted you to supervise us... Not fuck your cousin's friend" she smiled as if she were the most innocent beanie in the world.

Both of you were left defeated. Knowing y'all fucked up. And with that, the three of you came into a pact. Yuna gets to hang with her boyfriend while you and Minho get to fuck around and come out to your parents at your own time.

Now... This has stretched out long. Most people would think the story's over. But NAH! Y'all remember the "use of toys" in the warning? Yeaaahhhhh~ this is where it gets wilder.

That night, Yuna and her boyfriend who was a good friend of yours since first year of college as well went out for the night. The giant mansion was now for the both of you to ravish.

Minho picked you up almost immediately after locking the door. He took you to his room, throwing you on the bed. You licked your lips in anticipation.

"now then... Why don't you be a good kitty hm?" He whispered in a sultry tone. He opened a box that was inside his closet and turned it upside down on the bed revealing a lot of things you least expected.

You see, he had found out about your numerous kinks and fetishes in the middle of fucking you. His collection contained cat ears, cat tail with a butt plug, lube, hand cuffs, dildos, vibrators, whips, collars and ropes.

"You mentioned ones that you were into soft bdsm when I was cleaning you up once. 'bout time I fulfil your dreams~" you shuddered at his demeanor. And before you know it, you had cat ears on, hands cuffed and a collar around your neck. He squeezed the bottle of lube on your ass hole, the cold paste making you shiver and whimper. He rubbed on your hole, gently shoving a finger in, prepping you until you were ready to take the butt plug in.

Once you were, he wasted no time shoving the toy in. He bit his lips, shuddering at the sight of you fully prepped to be his kitten. "So pretty... You look so fucking pretty..." He whispered.

He squeezed some lube on the dildo too which was perhaps a little less big than his. Rubbing it on your folds, he leaned in closer kissing you deeply. "You like that don't you?" He whispered, shoving the toy in making you moan ever so loud.

While he ruthlessly thrusted the dildo inside you with one hand and fondled with your breasts with the other, you laid there losing your mind. "You like that don't you? You greedy little slut. You fucking whore. You like it when I abuse you like this, huh? You fucking pervert."

You shuddered, words refusing to leave your lips. "Go on. Tell master how much you love this. Use your words, kitten." "Ye-yeeaahh~ I love it~ I lo-love it s-sooo much ma-masteerr~" your eyes rolled up almost to your head. All this stimulation driving you crazy.

He yanked the dildo out of your pussy making you yelp and whine. He took a vibrator next, pushing it in switching it on the highest setting. Your body shuddered as electric sparks ran through your entire body from the vibrations. You squirted everywhere like a fountain.

He scoffed, taking the whip in his hand, running it through your torso, "haaahh... Look at you... What a mess..." He tutted before whipping you softly on your boobs making you yelp again. At this point, you were beyond gone. There's no way you could've said anything other than incoherent broken sentences which were more like moans.

He whipped you again, your nipples now swollen and twitching. He leaned down on you, kissing you deeply, biting your lower lip. "You like that, kitten? You like being masters little slut?" He whispered in your ear. You nodded, unable to speak. He got up, wipping you again, harder this time, "words, love. Use your words." His face was stern and cold and so was his voice.

You scared by the way he acted, but also aroused out of your mind. "Y-yeesss~ yes masteerr~ I love it... I love it so muuucchh~" you moaned.

He smirked feeling satisfied. "Get on all fours." He commanded. You did as told. Getting on all fours, your face now directly in front of his crotch where you could see his painful bulge through his shorts. You giggled, "hehe... So hard... Master is hard for me~" you mumbled.

He grabbed you by your hair and pulled your head up making you look at him, "that's right kitten. Im hard for you. You're gonna do something about that no? I'll give you a very good reward~" you bit your lip at his suggestion.

Pulling his pants down, his bulge sprang up slapping your face. You wasted no time, shoving his entire lenght inside your mouth. At this point, you were used to his size so it didn't hurt as much as it did before. You went ahead, bobbing your head up at down, swallowing and sucking around his cock.

He threw his head back, groaning as you sucked him off. The feeling was phenomenal. It was something neither of you had felt before, making the experience all the more better. After a while of sucking, he was close. "Hold it in your mouth, kitten. Don't you dare swallow it." He commanded. You fastened your pace as he shot his load inside your mouth, filling you up with warm cum.

He grabbed the back of you head and brought you close to his face. "Show me." He commanded. You opened your mouth wide, bringing out your tongue a little to show him how his milk was in your mouth. He smiled contented, "swallow." Without a thought, you did as asked.

"what a good fucking girl." He grunted, kissing you roughly. "Go ahead... Tell me what you want for a reward?" He huffed. "Fu... Fuck me..." You mumbled. He let you fall on the bed, grabbing the leash attached to your collar and pulling you close, "louder kitten. I can't hear you." "Fuck me master... Fuck me pleeaassee...~"

With that, he smirked, letting go of the leash, snatching away the vibrator too. "Since you're asking so nicely... How can I say no, hm?" He positioned himself on your entrance, thrusting in without warning making your arch your back.

"yeeaahhhh~!! Just like that!!" You moaned while he thrusted in you ruthlessly. He grabbed the leash again, pulling you close kissing you. Your wrapped your arms around him, "te... Tell me... Im your... Your favourite... Tell me I'm yours..." You begged. "Yeah... You're mine kitten... Only mine... No one else's... I love you so much kitten... I love you so much, Y/N."

You felt a shift in the mood when he called your name. What was a rough just a moment ago suddenly became sensual. Feather light touches gliding down your torso, the tight tug on your collar that suddenly felt gentle, his pace still fast yet loving. It felt like you were drugged. Intoxicated in the strongest aphrodisiac.

It felt like time had slowed down. Both your breaths shaky and heavy. Both of you divulged into a deep passionate kiss while he thrusted into you like there was no tomorrow. It felt like you were the main character of an R-rated romance novel being fucked by your lover. (4th wall break who?)

A few more thrusts later, you reached your climax. Digging your nails into his back. With one last push, he came inside filling you up.

He flopped on you, his weight feeling a different kind of warm and comfy. After a bit of lying there still, a sudden thought occured to you. "Wait... Did you just cum inside...? Without a condom...?" You looked at him horrified. He got up immediately, "fuck!! Im so sorry, y/n!! I got lost in the flow and..." He rushed to the bathroom, wiping you clean desperately praying for the worst to not happen.

Usually, you would worry your ass off over this. But you were just too tired. Your entire body ached from the action. "Fuck... Forget it... Im tired..." You mumbled. Minho kissed you on the forehead, "it's okay love... Sleep. I'll clean you up." You hummed and nodded, drifting off to sleep.

Next morning, you woke up at around 11:30. You were fully clothed but you felt wet down there. Rubbing your eyes you wondered if he had missed a spot or two. You got up and went to your bathroom. To your utter surprise, a delightful one at that, it was your period.

"MINHO OPPA!!!" You yelled from the bathroom. You heard something crash downstairs and soon Minho came in slamming the door open. "WHATS WRONG?!" He yelled back. His eyes dropping to your pants laying on the floor as you stood in the bathroom pantsless. "Y-Y/N!! I know I've seen everything but cover up please!!" He looked away shyly.

"aahhh that's for later!!! I started my period!! Im not gonna be pregnant!!!" You jumped in joy. "Oh.." he looked a bit disappointed. You walked up to him, (still pantsless btw) and held his face gently. "What's wrong? Did you wanna impregnate me?" "We-well no but like... Argh I don't know I'm just being dumb." (Minho admitting he's dumb?!?!?! Now you know this is just a fic.) You chuckled at his response, giving him a kiss.

"also... To respond to your statement last night..." You paused, smiling at him, "I love you too..." "Hu-huh?? What??" He looked surprised and confused. "Well... Ever since the bar incident I've been looking for you too... And well... Although I'm not very sure about my feelings... Spending the past few weeks with you... I know my feelings aren't just an attraction towards you..."

He hugged you tight, "thank... Thank you..." He sniffled. You giggled by his actions. You'd thought he was so mature and stuff but really... He was just a little child at heart.

Both of you decided to wait it out a little more before going official. In the meantime you called Yuna to let her know to get some pads since you only had two on you. The final week at the beach house was spent with Yuna and Minho coddling you.

Fin~

I know the story stretched out a lot 😭 I just wanted to include a lot of things in here Lolol hope you guys enjoyed this brainrot!! It took me a long time to write cuz writer's block is a bitch and apparently I attract bitches, good or bad, left and right. Sooo yuh~

Anyways yeah that's that! Make sure to like, comment or reblog if you liked it! Thank you for reading! Next oneshot will prolly come out in like- Jan Lolol till then! Adios!