#do I like Sirius because he's a Londoner and I have an excuse to write about London?

[artemisia-black]

My love affair with London

Looking back over my stuff to try and get some inspiration, and OMG, does my lifelong love affair with London come through (legit the love of my life).

A series of impossibly tall buildings glinted in the weak sunlight, their glass facades reflecting a sky swathed in ever-changing hues of white and grey. The River Thames coiled through this morass of humanity like a sinuous brown snake...... The streets, viewed from above, were a labyrinthine web, arteries pulsing with the lifeblood of countless souls. Red double-decker buses and black cabs moved through the throng like carefully choreographed dancers in the intricate ballet of city life. Amidst it all, pockets of greenery provided a momentary splash of colour amongst the grey and brown of the buildings. - Pietas

London had always held a fascination for him; its heady mix of decay and opulence, squalor and splendour spoke to something deep inside him. And he spent several moments hypnotised by how the golden sunlight danced on the surface of the opaque, brown water of the Thames.- the son and heir

Within minutes, he was airborne, the heavy knit of his balaclava providing a buffer against the wind as he rocketed towards the clouds, the ice-grey snake of the Thames winding beneath him. Tilting his Harley to look down at the city, the bike’s engine strained from both the speed and the angle. London’s skyscrapers glittered in the weak November sun, and he savoured the adrenaline, enjoying how it quickened him. - Dog and deer

I smiled contentedly as London flashed past, the glass-panelled buildings of the city reflecting the orange glow of the street lights. - Sirius Black and the Goblet of Freud

Kingsley smiled at the memory, appreciating the salmon-pink colour of the dawn sky and the way the gold of the winter sun glinted across the red underground sign. Reaching the station’s threshold, he was met with a blast of heavy, warm air which enveloped him like an old blanket that smelled vaguely of toast.The rhythmic beat of the feet of the commuters shuffling forward towards the barriers blended with the sharp clang of the metal barriers, and Kingsley began to sweat in his heavy Harris Tweed. - Kingsley drabbles

Sirius felt his eyes burn as he fixed them on the horizon. A riot of pink and red -hued clouds clustered around the dome of St Pauls, as the sun set over the London skyline. The normal dull brown of the river, temporarily metamorphosed into a glittering undulating blanket, that flowed like silk.- When Harley met Sirius

[spindrifters]

2022 Fic Roundup

In the later half of this year, I came back to two foundational parts of myself. Writing fanfiction, and Harry Potter. I've built a career in creative writing, and somewhere along the line lost sight of the spark of joy that comes from writing transformative works. After a difficult summer, I rediscovered that spark. And for the longest time, in light of *all that*, I hadn't known what to do with Potter and its core place in my development as a conscientious person in the world. In the same dark moment I realized that, like all foundational sacred text, the series was meant to be grappled with. Wrestled. Read resistantly. And what better way to do that than with fic? I've only been back in the game since October, but I'm so happy to have made it back at all. More than anything, I appreciate the incredible community I've found along the way.

Huge shout-out to @soloorganaas for the inspiration!

October

marginalia (105k & counting, WIP, Wolfstar, E) - This story began a long time ago. That part is already written. Nothing can be done about it now. It began with two young men—barely more than boys—who upended the world, magical and mundane alike. Grindelwald and Dumbledore, glorious leaders of the revolution, who brought wizardkind out of hiding and into the light during those last, violent days of 1899. But a winter's night seventy-seven years later is where things really kick off. Because Remus Lupin knows what to expect when you’ve been sold somewhere new. He knows it better than he ever thought he'd have to by this point. He knows how to survive. And Sirius Black is doing his best to just graduate Hogwarts and get himself and his brother away from this goddamn house in one piece. He's got it figured out by now. He has a plan. Neither of them, however, had accounted for the other messing everything up by the sheer fact of just existing. The most AU.

There’s an exceptionally long moment of silence between them, and Sirius would look away if he could. Would put the burning shame simmering at the pit of his gut somewhere else, only Remus’ hand is still clasped tight around his own bleeding nailbeds, holding fast, and isn’t that a wonder? His hands are just as strong, just as calloused and scarred and warm as he remembers. Only this is the first time Remus has ever touched him willingly. With purpose. Not because he thinks he has to, or because Sirius touched him first.

love has teeth (444, microfic, gen, T) - Hope Lupin loves her husband, she really does, but she’s a child of the war and the political passions that came with it and on the whole she really hasn’t got the time nor patience for the astounding ignorance and stupidity of Wizarding Britain. (Or how, somewhere along the way, Hope Lupin became the pack mum.)

Hope teaches James to cook, and gives Peter advice on girls, and becomes single-handedly responsible for Sirius’ obsession with motorbikes after letting him ride on the back of hers. She introduces the lot of them to jazz and skiffle and tells them stories of growing up with Communist parents in post-war London.

civilian (339, microfic, Tedromeda, T) - They figure it out at a café on a rainy Tuesday in April. (Or, the one where Ted and Andromeda elope.)

Theirs is a history of secrets, stolen kisses in old school corridors and excuses made to his family why she can never seem to come for dinner and trying not to flinch whenever words like purity and mudblood come out of her parents' mouths.

November

until our ribs get tough (4.8K, gen, M) - From the lost papers and mixed-up files of the marginalia universe. A day in the life of one Lily Evans, age eleven, takes an unexpected turn involving a twisted ankle, some contraband essence of murtlap, and a rumination on the nature of miracles. Same AU as marginalia.

They used to do this all the time when they were little. Hide amidst the mothballs and piled boxes stored beneath the metal springs, especially when the rain poured down like this. It was easier, then, to ignore the world outside in order to create their own. Imagined kingdoms where they were king and queen, or adventurers on the high seas searching out treasure galleys to attack. They’d known to keep quiet, even then. It’s been a minute since they were here last, but even Remus’ recent growth spurts aren’t enough to take away what’s really a sacred space.

December

the helper (1.3K, gen Wolfstar, T) - Remus is facing his first Hanuká away from home. Sirius would like to help. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

Sirius is, by this point, extremely lost. He understands about half of what his friend just said to him. What he understands perfectly well, however, is how to recognize that nonchalant sort of half-shrug, that casual way Remus then goes on to insist that it’s not actually a big deal and he’s fine, really, and it’s not that important a celebration, anyway. He knows what those things mean. They mean that Remus Lupin’s a bloody liar.

death by honey (1.7K, Wolfstar, T) - Stuck at St. Mungo's during Hanuká, Remus has resigned himself to spending the holidays alone. Sirius has other plans. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

So he’s resigned himself to missing all that. Resigned himself to maybe even missing his muggle relatives altogether if this lunar fever doesn’t clear up in time. Instead, he gets the sterile, broken-tiled lycanthropy ward, and tinny Christmas music filtering down from the floor above, and the pinch-faced, suspicious company of two trainee healers who must have done something truly unfortunate to end up banished down here over the holidays. What he doesn’t expect is to wake up from a nap to find Sirius Black sitting in the chair next to his bed.

forward motion (854, Wolfstar AU, M) - Mary brings over a present. None of the menfolk know what to do with it. Wolfstar raises Harry AU. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

So maybe it feels more personal than it should, but Sirius can’t shake that terror of mucking this all up and letting down not just Harry but James and Lily and Monty and Euphemia, too. And Remus — who still has two living parents who love him dearly — may never have had to depend on the Potters to pick the broken pieces of himself up off their doorway, but he still feels that same terror. That same responsibility. Harry deserves a childhood full of laughter and love and fun.

commercial allure (1K, Wolfstar, T) - On the second-to-last night of Hanuká, Remus decides that enough is enough. Sirius would beg to differ. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

“Pads,” he says at last, because he wasn’t going to say anything. Because this is his best mate of six years but somehow it’s become damn near impossible for Remus to even look at him lately without feeling flushed and awkward and like he’s just sprouted hands for the very first time and hasn’t got the first clue what to do with them. But he’s just found a very nice and very expensive-looking eagle-feather quill on his bedside table, wrapped up in silver paper, and that is altogether impossible to ignore.

a history of violence (1K, Wolfstar, E) - In the wake of the war's end, Remus and Sirius are learning how to trust each other again. Lily and James live AU. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

Sirius kisses the scar that slashes down his brow and lid, a gentle reminder to keep talking. This is what they do now, in the days since the end of October. Since the end of the war. This is what they have to do. Secrets, after all, nearly cost them everything.

pomegranates (2.5K, Wolfstar, M) - Sirius runs away from home over the winter holidays of fifth year. The problem is, James is in India and Moony kind of hates her right now. Genderfuck AU with transfem Sirius and cisfem Remus. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

Lyall Lupin opens the front door of the small Mayhill flat he shares with his wife and daughter to find Sirius Black, cold and dripping in the rainy Swansea night, shivering violently in nothing but a set of outrageously expensive silk dress robes. His first instinct is to slam the door in the girl’s face. His second — that of a father, who’s seen his child in pain too many times — wins out. Sirius is bleeding from somewhere just above her hairline and looks as though she’s been on the receiving end of a Confundus Charm. He lets her inside.

the story goes (1.5K, Wolfstar, M) - Remus knows all about survival. It's in his DNA. A study on lycanthropy, the Jewish diaspora, a blended family, and two boys in love. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

No one can know. Dad reminds him of that all the time, in the summer before he goes to school. He needn’t bother. Remus was raised on stories of refugee ancestors fleeing Valencia massacres for Moroccan shores, grew tall on days celebrating Esther and Yehudit’s necessary deceptions. He knows how to hide what others fear without making a single part of himself small.

yours if you want it (1K, Wolfstar, M) - Facing their first holiday season living together, Sirius and Remus stumble towards creating new traditions. For Hanukkah Wolfstar Week 2022.

“I’m trying to tell you you're allowed to have things, you knob. You get to make it mean what you like. You want a Christmas tree? Let’s get a bloody Christmas tree. I’ve never had one before but sod it, I want one if it makes you happy. We’re allowed to make our own traditions. And if you like any of the poncy Yule shite you grew up with instead, we can do that, too. Because that’s still yours, if you want it. Get me? Not theirs. Yours.”

[up-to-some-good]

I'm probably late already, but @impishtubist 's Sirius and Harry Saturday has given me inspiration for the first time in weeks, so I had to post this, even if it is late.

There were two weeks left in the summer and things were finally settling down. Harry had finally gotten used to Remus's presence, no longer stumbling over greeting his former professor; Sirius and Remus had sorted out their relationship after twelve years apart. Overall, the residents of Grimmauld Place had settled into a kind of peace as a new family, despite their gloomy surroundings.

Of course, it couldn't last.

The summer had been characterised by games between Harry and his godfather while Remus read, slow processing of years of trauma and separation, and small adventures into Muggle London, as well as inquiries about Harry's summer work from his new guardians which were always met with vague answers of "I'll do it next week" or "I guess I've started some of the reading". The homework had not been anyone's top priority, despite the adults' obvious concern, but Harry was running out of excuses a bit too quickly for his liking.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, for him, the real issue revealed itself that Saturday evening before dinner, with what should have been an innocuous question.

"Harry, could you tell me what the recipe says I need to do next?"

Sirius was standing at the stove, carefully and continously stirring the sauce. They were attempting to make lasagne from Hope Lupin's recipe in an attempt to cheer Remus up from a particularly rough full moon. Everything had been fine up until that point: Sirius giving instructions and obsessing over the fine details of the recipe, while Harry happily chopped vegetables and chatted about the upcoming school year.

"Harry?"

The fourteen year old looked up from his chopping board, barely registering his godfather's words.

"Can you read me the next step, kid?"

"I'll bring the recipe over to you," he offered quickly.

Sirius frowned as Harry practically sprinted across the kitchen to get the piece of parchment.

"That's alright, too," he said in confusion. "But I don't won't to spill anything on it, so I'd rather leave it on that side of the kitchen. Will you tell me what it says?"

"Well... um... I don't know what step we're on," Harry stuttered. "So, I'll take over the stirring and you can come read it."

"Haz, you've been here the whole time. Surely, you can figure out where we are?"

"Well, I could... um..."

Sirius slowly turned to his godson, removing the pot from the heat before stepping across the kitchen to halt Harry's shaking hands. He carefully guided Harry to sit down at the kitchen table, dinner momentarily forgotten.

"Harry?"

He looked up from the parchment, meeting his godfather with red eyes.

"What's going on, kid?"

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He seemed to curl in on himself, fixing his glasses hurriedly and sniffling. After a long pause, he mumbled something to the floor.

"Can you say that a bit louder, Haz?"

"I can't see the words!" he finally burst out, before burying his head in his hands. "They're too blurry."

Sirius wrapped an arm over Harry's shoulder while he took a moment to think. In retrospect, he realised Harry had avoided reading as far as he possibly could, passing any books over to one of the adults and answering vaguely about his homework. He hadn't even read his letters around his guardians, choosing to take them into his room and closing the door behind him.

"How long has this been an issue?" he asked gently.

"Since last summer," Harry admitted, uncovering his face to lean on his godfather. "It was fine at school, because Hermione mostly reads everything for me and I could write as long as I squinted and moved close to the parchment, but it's different here because it's pretty dark, so I've just tried to avoid it."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to bother you. It doesn't really matter. I've been managing fine."

Sirius took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts and trying to maintain his composure.

"You will never be a bother to us, Harry," he said quietly. "You probably need to see an optometrist and get a new pair of glasses. We can make an appointment for this week and have you sorted before the end of summer."

Harry blushed and cuddled closer to Sirius.

"I just worried," he muttered. "Because I know how expensive and inconvenient it is. I had to get these glasses when I was six and started school, and Uncle Vernon complained for like two weeks before we could even get an appointment and then the glasses were so expensive, so he gave me one of his old pairs to use instead."

At that, Sirius had to close his eyes and take a few deep breaths, remembering his own childhood and his own parents refusing to get his eyes tested because it was inconvenient. He got his first pair of glasses when he was sixteen, after running away from home and landing safely at the Potters. He was amazed when he discovered the world wasn't blurry for everyone.

"Harry," he started carefully. "I hope you'll forgive me for saying your uncle is a terrible man, and a worse guardian."

Harry chuckled quietly at that.

"You should have your own glasses, with your prescription, and a check up every year to make sure they're still the right pair," he continued. "I'll make an appointment tomorrow, okay? We'll get you a new pair as soon as we can."

Harry nodded against Sirius's shirt and let out a sigh of relief.

"Can you promise me something, for future reference, kid?"

He felt another nod against his chest.

"Will you come to me or Moony if you have any problems, no matter how small they seem? I promise, we won't ever be mad. We just want to help you in any way we can."

"I promise," Harry mumbled. "Thank you."

"Any time, kid."

Sirius pressed a kiss to his messy hair and pulled him into a tighter hug.

"Any time."

[engie-ivy]

Sirius wants Remus to reject him. Not because he wants Remus to reject him, but because it's at least better than the excuses.

Short College AU Get-Together😊

A Better Reason

Sirius purposely doesn’t look up from the Sunday paper’s crossword puzzle when his roommate, Remus, stumbles into the kitchen.

Their other roommate, James, takes one look at Remus’ distressed appearance, and Sirius’ grim expression, firmly keeping his eyes fixed on the paper, and picks up his mug to leave the kitchen, not even bothering to come up with an excuse. From the corner of his eyes, Sirius sees him give Remus a pointed look as he walks past.

Sirius feels his hand cramp up, and suddenly realizes he’s gripping his pen so hard it might snap. With an effort he forces his hand to relax. “I didn’t expect you’d be awake so early,” he says, still not looking up from the paper. “After the night you had.”

“Yeah, well...” Remus runs a hand through his hair. “I didn’t sleep very well.”

A thought suddenly occurs to Sirius and he jerks his head up. “Is Fabian here?”

“What? No! No, that’s not what I... No, he went home after the party. I... I didn’t know you were going to be there?”

“Regulus rescheduled, so I decided to come out anyway. I thought I’d be fun,” Sirius says in a bitter tone. “I didn’t know you had a date?”

“It was a last-minute thing,” Remus mumbles. “Fabian asked, and I was feeling stressed and could use a distraction...” He trails off.

Sirius snorts. “Well, you looked perfectly distracted alright.” He didn’t know how long he had stood there, watching Remus dance up against Fabian, before Remus had even noticed him. Then, of course, Sirius had made a quick exit.

“I’m sorry,” Remus says.

“Why?”

“Because I thought you weren’t coming!”

Sirius shakes his head. “No, why are you sorry? I mean, there’s nothing between us, you don’t owe me anything. You can do whatever the hell you like.” A small voice inside his head asks ‘then why are you mad?’, but he ignores it.

“Still,” Remus says. “It was shitty to let you stand there and watch that.”

“I suppose,” Sirius replies flatly. “So was it all just a bunch of crap then?”

“Was what all just a bunch of crap?”

“You know,” Sirius rolls his eyes. “That whole ‘I can’t date you because I’m leaving for Boston in a couple of months, so it wouldn’t be wise to start something in London now’-story you gave me.”

“No,” Remus says. “No, I meant that.”

“But yet you said yes when Fabian asked.”

“That was different.”

“Come on, Remus!” Sirius scoffs. “Admit it was me you didn’t want to date!”

“I can’t... That’s not...”

“Look, I’m a big boy, Remus. I don’t know if you were trying to blow me off or let me down gently or whatever, but I can handle rejection! What I can’t handle is you not being honest with me.”

“I wasn’t lying, Sirius!” Remus almost sounds desperate.

“Making up excuses, whatever you want to call it.”

“I said no when you asked me out on a date because I’m leaving for Harvard by the end of the semester,” Remus says emphatically.

Sirius folds his arms over his chest. “But somehow, that only applies to me. Why is it perfectly fine to go out on a date with Fabian, then?”

“Because I’m not worried that I’m going to fall head over heels in love with Fabian!” Remus shouts. “Because the thought of leaving Fabian behind doesn’t already stab at my heart as it is! Because leaving for Boston after allowing there to be something more than friendship between me and Fabian won’t absolutely destroy me! So yes, Sirius, if you must know, that only applies to you!”

“Remus...”

Remus pinches the bridge of his nose. “Shite. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Remus.”

“No, please, I’m sorry. Just forget it.”

“Remus, if you feel that way about me, and I feel that way about you, then we should be together.”

Remus shakes his head. “No. We shouldn’t. We really shouldn’t.”

“Why?” Sirius asks. “Why shouldn’t we?”

“There are so many reasons we shouldn’t!” Remus exclaims. “We shouldn’t because we’ll be more than 5000 kilometres away from each other, and with me having barely enough money to go to Harvard even with the scholarship, and you being disowned, neither one of us has money for plane tickets!”

Sirius takes a step closer to him, while Remus continues speaking.

“We shouldn’t because with both of us being busy with our studies and our jobs to pay for our studies, and you with the football team and me with my writing projects, we’ll hardly have any time to video call, not to mention the time difference!”

Sirius takes another step closer.

“We shouldn’t because with you being who you are, you know people are going to be throwing themselves at you as soon as the new semester starts, and with me being who I am, I know that my insecurities are going to plague me, and it’ll kill me every time I know you’re out, and that’s not fair to me, or to you!”

Another step closer.

“We shouldn’t because our friendship is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t want to taint the memory of it with the inevitable messy breakup.”

Another step and Sirius is almost standing chest to chest with Remus. He carefully reaches out and cups Remus�� cheek. Remus’ eyes flutter close for a brief moment, before he looks up at Sirius again.

“We should,” Sirius says slowly. “Because I love you.”

“This is a terrible idea,” Remus whispers hoarsely, while he leans into Sirius’ touch.

Sirius only shrugs.

“We’re going to crash and burn,” Remus says, but even as he says it, his hands slide around to the back of Sirius’ neck, as he pulls him down into a kiss.

[spiltscribbles]

Oooo it’s my birthday today and I neeeeeed my sweet boys, is it too greedy if I ask for you to write something absolutely adores like you always do. I can wait there’s no rush. It would really make my day a whole lot better

~Notes: HI HI BABY!!! I’m so so fucking sorry this is like two days late 😭😭😭 I am a piece of shit and I had an idea and then I scrapped it and then I came up with this crack shit! But I included singling like you wanted!! And ILU endlessly!!! I hope your birthday was at least filled with sunlight and friends and all the adoration you deserve🎉🎉🎂🥳🎈🎈🎈🎊🎊🥳🎁. And I hope this isn’t a shitty gift!😭😭

.-

Send Me A Prompt<3  |  A Reblog is like a hug!!!!

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The 4 Times People Suspected About Remus and Sirius, and The One Time They Called It By Name

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~I~

Peter notices it first.

He doesn’t know quite what it is, or what it means— Peter doesn’t understand what it entails when he’s watching the way Sirius gently thumbs at a high patch on Remus’s cheek while he’s sleeping on the hospital bed after the first full moon of fourth year, a fraught look in his stormy eyes. Or how Remus’s gaze always search Sirius out first after he’s made a wry comment in the expense of the Slytherins, going alight with the other boy’s laughter. Peter doesn’t comprehend the way it sometimes seems like he’s caught in some sort of static— a negative space that makes him feel out of bounds— when he’s alone with only the pair of them. When they’re all huddled around the common area or their dormitory while James is probably skulking in search of Lily Evans or cajoling the other chasers to have another lap around the court. With Remus lounging on his fourposter, or the sofa, reading one of the infinite books he’s got tucked away in his trunk, and Sirius is quietly  sat by his feet, toying with a non-magical contraption he’s found in Muggle London after sneaking out from his ancestral home while his folks were having a row. And Peter is ordinarily just fiddling with a scroll he has to finish for one of the tougher courses from a bit away, intermittently  glancing at them side long, just waiting for an excuse to leave the suffocating ambiance that feels like it’s been fitted for just the pair of them and not another soul.

But the most peculiar part about all of this is that Peter is accustomed to feeling like the spare, the cast off who’s clinging to the glimmering forms that are James and Sirius, and their ravenous appetite for any and all attention that’s given over because that’s the sort of boys they are— affluent and prominent and radiating with a sort of spark that’s all there own— the sort of boys that others find doubtless that they are something miraculous. But when Peter’s around just the pair of them, in the corner of the galaxy that the marauders have carved for them to rule like kings— It never feels quite so stilted, so weighty. Sirius and James have a gift of making everyone in the room feel like they’re in on the joke, that they could be showered with that same granger just as long as they play in the tableau. Remus and Sirius together feels the contrary of that, like there’s something pregnant lying between them, waiting to pounce. Like there’s an understanding that no one else gets to glimpse at, and no one else should try. An understanding  that’s personal and private and crackling with an energy that is far beyond anything between mere friends, beyond anything Peter could fathom with all his fifteen years.

Idly, over supper after an entire two hours being stuck between that strange tension simmering beneath the surface of Remus and Sirius, Peter wonders for the umpteenth time on whether he should ask James about this development in their small brotherhood, should ask him if he’s detected the difference there. And if he has, Peter will listen to James’s plan to ensure this doesn’t ruin anything. How whatever is brewing under the surface won’t absolutely ruin them.

But then, from the corner of his eye, Peter sees Sirius— none to gently— piling Remus’s plate with an abundance of the potatoes that Moony likes best, dipping down to whisper something in his ear— something surely lecherous— before tousling his curls in that brash, bombastic way of his that he does with Peter and James too, even if he ends it by gingerly cupping the nape of Remus’s neck with a surreptitious squeeze that ends just as quickly as it began, falling back into conversation with James and Marlene about the Wasps’s chances against the Harpies this Friday night as if it was just an innate action, even if it’s one Peter’s only ever witnessed him doing to Remus.

And even though there’s another full in two days, and even though Remus looks like a walking inferi— pale faced and exhausted posture and circles the color of midnight smudged beneath his eyes— Peter watches the ends of his lips quirk up into the best approximation of a smile Peter’s ever seen on him so close to the wolf breaking through the surface of his body that’s all skin and bones, and he isn’t sure if it’s a trick of the light or not, but Remus actually looks like he might be glowing over the strange attention that Sirius’s only ever paid to him.

So no… No, Peter doesn’t think he’ll ask James quite yet, reckons that if anything can help his moon plagued friend, that it must be something good, something that shouldn’t be tempered with.

They can figure out how the strange string pulling Remus and Sirius together will alter their brotherhood later on, there’s still time. There’ still a possibility that it won’t devastate everything.

~II~

Lily’s suspected for a while.

The thing is that she’s known about Remus since the end of third year, when he rebuffed the advances of an eager Heleen  Abed, and Lily found him on the ledge of the largest window in the vacant common room— the same one that they regularly commandeer with Mary McDonald to discuss the finer points of Muggle politics and current events, separate from the melting pot of their Gryffindor class that’s composed of either pure bloods or those with their closest Muggle relative being a long dead grandparent. And it was definitely a dangerous, knife’s edge she was playing at, but Lily had sat besides the boy who she’s cultivated a real and true friendship with— one beyond pleasant platitudes and fodder about their course work— and she told him about her cousin Joey with green spiked hair and a mischievous smile adorned with a sparkling stud and how she and Petunia had caught him holding hands with one of his friends from sixth-form in the garden of her Aunt’s cottage, and how even the sneer on her older sisters lips hadn’t deterred Lily from thinking anything but mild indifference about the situation. Only wanting her cousin to always live in that easy effervescence she’s always known when it came to him.

And nothing else was exchanged between them, but Remus had grinned in that barely perceptible way of his, and Lily had nudged his shoulder with her own and then fished out her final handful of chocolate frogs for them to share while they revise their notes for the transfiguration exam coming up. 

Two summers have past since then—they’re in the midst  of their final term of fifth year now— and she thinks that they’ve become even closer, that the frequent late nights in the library for their impending OWLs and their countless prefect rounds has helped forge a real and true bond— especially that whole snag earlier in the year when they had realized they were both snogging Leon Bennett on alternating nights behind greenhouse three. But all of that withstanding, Lily knows that there are still secrets Remus keeps tight to his chest, ones that Lily’s analytical mind— the mind of a potions expert and future healer— has suspected to do with the thin, silvery scars running down his strong hands that are all tapered fingers and slender wrists, and another across his right bicep that she saw when he had changed his robes for a jumper in front of her, and the one cutting down from the bottom of his ear and nearly across the entire length of his neck, ending at the corner of his sharp collarbone. But Lily suspects he’ll tell her about that soon enough, what she isn’t so confident about is him admitting that particularly dazed look he gets when around Black, of all people. The way he stammers his words occasionally and the way he worries on his bottom lip while averting his glance when Sirius is chatting up a very pleased looking girl, and the way he flushes when Lily is ribbing about him in particular. And Lily knows that the foursome of Gryffindor boys had a falling out of sorts before winter hols, that there’s a hairline fracture between them and Remus now— one that she’s sure no one else can pick up on after the way they had seemingly come back together in late January, right before her birthday funnily enough. But Lily’s always been the analytical  sort— the sort to absorb the barebones of a situation so she could conjure a hypothesis that she could prove after careful study.

So Lily knows that it’s something deeper, and she can see  how Remus is reticent around them in ways she’s actually worried won’t be shaken off anytime soon— which is all levels of bazaar considering she’s been telling Remus for years that he needs to shrug off his rowdy mates like a snake shedding an old coat. But before, when she’d barb as much he’d only stick out his tongue and tell her what happens to busybodies, and how she doesn’t really know them at all. But now days, he just looks particularly hurt, and more than a bit put out, and Lily catches him flickering over to wherever Sirius was holding court, longing in a way she couldn’t possibly articulate out loud.

Honestly Lily thinks it’s really quite gracious of her to have dropped the subject completely, rather, she takes up the mantel of his friend that can distract him from all those sorts of woes, biting her tongue over his lingering feelings for Sirius that are more than likely far beyond a passing fancy. And she thinks that maybe that’s a good call, maybe it’s good for Remus to beat down those sorts of emotions  that he’s harboring for the wanker. She knows Remus, and she knows he wouldn’t hold a grudge— even such a quiet one— for no reason at all. Besides, she doesn’t really think it’s her place to tell him how when he’s glancing away, Sirius is holding vigil to him with that same sort of fervor. That Sirius is the one who collects the notes for all his classes on those conspicuous absences of his when Remus is feeling poorly in the infirmary. That Sirius occasionally looks so very gutted when Remus is wilting away from them, when he seeks Lily’s company instead.

She has a heavy suspicion that Remus might already know all of those things— that maybe they’ve already discussed it at length, that maybe the falling out in December has caused a full stop of anything that could’ve potentially blossomed between them. And she just wishes she knew the entire story so she could decide on whether she should be jinxing Black’s face to a putrid orange color, or pushing Remus to actually give him a chance.

Lily just wishes she could read Black as easily as she can Remus, maybe that would help in this experiment she’s testing, because for now she’s just confused as all hell over what exactly Black feels towards him. Well that is until it’s a fortnight before Remus’s birthday, and she’s being bodily dragged into a closet on her way to charms.

“Oi— What the bloody—“

“Language, Evans,” the annoyingly familiar baritone of Sirius Black tsks, lighting up the cupboard with his wand and smirking in that jagged way she’s heard countless girls tittering over, and the one that makes her want to pop him one right against his ridiculously smug face.

“Black,” she says, caustic as all get out with her fists clenched against her sides and her brows making a really resilient effort to meet in the middle. “You’ve got thirty seconds before I hex your bollocks off.”

“Pff, and Jamie thinks you’re some sort of saint.”

“Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven. Twenty-six.”

Sirius pulls a face at her, but must understand the credence in the words, because it’s not another moment more before he pulls out a bedraggled looking slip of paper from his robe’s pocket, and thrusts it at her face. So with an indignant huff, Lily opens it up and begins scanning the words— becoming all the more confused when she sees measurements and things like coco powder and melted butter, instead of whatever the hell else she was preparing herself to read.

“I’m being pranked, aren’t I? You’re trying to distract me so you and Potter can do something horrid to the Slytherin’s common room.”

“We’ve actually already done that today,” Sirius jeers, raising up his hands in concession with a cluck of the tongue at her scowling face. “’s from Moony’s mum, all right. I asked her to send me the recipe of this chocolate cake she use to make him for his birthdays before Hogwarts— I just thought… It might be nice is all, and you can sod right off if you look at me like that, Evans, with the soft eyes and all that rot. Are you going to help me or not?”

Lily resolutely ignores the pang to her heart, because God, this really is such a sweet gesture. “And what? you thought I could help you because I’m a bird?” She asks in the most scolding inflection she could muster in the face of this incredibly soppy gift he wants to give Remus.

“None of that, blimey, Evans.” Sirius snarls, obviously diffident, and combined with the faint flush to his cheeks, Lily suddenly realizes why he’s considered one of the best looking blokes in the entirety of their school. “There’s a whole load of Muggle mumbo jumbo, so it was between asking you, or McDonald, and I adore Mary and all, but  she has got such a mouth on her.”

“You should know,” Lily counters with a leer. “She couldn’t stop going on about your date back in October.”

Sirius’s brows hike, and he actually smiles at her— one that’s vacant from all his bravado from his upbringing in his pretentious, pure blood home, and one that isn’t trying to show off. And Lily can’t help but favoringly liken him to an excited pug. “Oh you’re wicked, Evans!” He shrills delightedly. “Oh this is great, you’re just as depraved as Remus, are all prefects like this?”

Lily snorts, shaking her head at him, indulgent. “Never mind that, Black. Most of this stuff can be found in the kitchens below, I’m sure the house elves won’t mind us borrowing anything.”

“And the ingredients that won’t be down their?” He asks worriedly.

“Well, good on you planning this so far ahead of time, we’ll just have to experiment.”

Sirius groans in retort, muttering things about Muggle potions and James thinking he’s getting off with his future wife and other ridiculous things that Lily doesn’t bother to stay and listen to. Though, when Remus’s birthday does roll around, and she sees his countenance go a thousand shades brighter as he bites into the pudding, and Sirius’s grin stretch just that much more across his face in response— their eyes meeting across the room and past the crowds— Well Lily suspects Sirius never really minded any of the things he was whinging on about, not at all, not as long as the result was a beaming Remus.

~III~

Regulus hears about it in the halls.

He’s not much for gossip or that sort of dribble, doesn’t have much patience for anyone outside his house if he’s being at all frank— and even then, it’s not as if he doesn’t frequently find himself escaping to his fourposter for a moment’s quiet. It seems that everyone in this bloody castle are just dimwitted, daft idiots, and Regulus’s never been the sort to offer allowances for that kind of behavior. He’s been raised in the home of a family as close to royalty as Wizards permit, a prince among men. And he was told that he should have patience for the dull folks beneath him, just as long as they have the correct ideals, but sometimes he can’t help but wish they would all just let him be, sometimes feels like he’s being carted around Hogwarts as the perfect pure blood,  like he was nine years old again and being shown off in the parlor of  his home when guests came to call, watching from the sidelines while his mother rave about how splendid of an heir Sirius is turning out to be. How his tutor calls him a genius for any age, and how darling he looks in Slytherin green, and how he’s already mastered three romance languages to help in his spell work. 

And Regulus can’t help but scoff at those contemplations now, thinking of the past summer when his dramatic and brash brother had made a whole production of leaving behind the values that gave him everything he has. How he escaped to that Potter git’s home the way he’s been doing for nearly every holiday since his second year, how he offered Regulus to come along as if he’s a trader just like him. What a risible excuse for an heir.

But Regulus won’t commit such follies, he’ll make his parents proud— even if his father is nearly never paying much mind and his mother goes from raving to sickly in a blink of an eye. It doesn’t matter, because he’ll carry on the Black legacy, something that his oh so perfect brother never could’ve done. Regulus is only a fifth year, will be turning sixteen in only two months after Sirius’s coming of age, and sure, this might mean he’s still young enough that the Death Eaters don’t find him adequate to fight on the line of fire, but he’ll do it eventually, feels the weight of the letter from Bellatrix praising him for as much resting heavy in his pocket. And if Regulus finds them all a bit too vicious or a bit too excitable and completely lacking a deft hand to make the changes they’re searching for, he shrugs it off. He knows what he must do, and as he stares at his brother from across the valley cusping the lake, he’s only that much more steadfast in the conviction of the fact.

Sirius is sitting and laughing with a group of his Gryffindor mates, the mudbloods, and blood traders that had warped him from the brother he knew to the stranger he is now. And there’s a dark skinned Ravenclaw bird— Meadowes if he remembers correctly from his prefect meetings— and she’s telling some sort of long winded tail with hand gestures and loud cackling coming from the group as she goes on. And Sirius is tossing around a quaffle with Potter— the glint of a handsome, silver watch on his wrist catching in the dying sunlight. And Regulus wonders who had gifted him such a personal passage to adulthood, but is soon distracted by spotting the way Sirius nearly gets smacked in the face with the ball because he was too busy gawking over  at Lupin in such a stripped down, cautious way that it makes Regulus squirm.

He doesn’t know much about the elder Prefect, only that his name had come up nearly as much as Potters during that first year when Sirius would send him correspondence on a frequent basis because he knew how lonely Regulus would get while stuck in Grimmauld all by himself. And then when he began attending Hogwarts, Regulus never could get a good reading on him. He knew Potter because of how his family is infamous for their liberal views and nouveau riche attitudes, and Pettigrews family owns a hokey herb shop in Diagon. All he’s found out about the Lupins is that his father is the son of half-bloods and his mother is a Muggle, and that this mudblood is a reserved, carefully aloof bugger, and that somehow he’s seemingly captured all of Sirius’s attentions that he’s not giving Potter or the clinger ons who follow him around like mindless fools. Beyond that, Lupin and Regulus have only traded a hand full of words whenever their roles of prefects would force them to intermingle, and it’s always been punctuated by Lupin giving Regulus a witheringly cold look anytime they were in close proximity, which is admittedly impressive considering that half the time the sickly bastard looks like he’s about ready to keel over.

So no, Regulus doesn’t know much about him, but he’s heard the rumors. He knows that it’s basically an open secret between the Gryffindor class and selected friends. The fact that  his brother is probably shagging the mudblood, convincing Regulus that Sirius really has never given a toss about the decorum and standards befalling them as the only two Black males of their generation. And he hates his brother  so scathingly right then, hates his little munblood lover probably even more. 

And when he watches Lupin straying his gaze from the novel he was reading while that red haired Muggle born was resting her head in his lap, and Regulus saw the way both of their expressions went a peculiar sort of tender— well that’s the last straw, so he stands up in a huff— so unlike himself— and he cuts the story Mulciber was crowing on about, and he tells them he needs to complete a scroll for Slughorn.

And while he prowls away from the sight of his brother continuing to ruin everything, Regulus plunges a hand into his pocket, and crunches Bellatrix’s letter in his grasp, promises himself to write her back soon, and ignores the ache in his chest that’s only been growing larger since Sirius had left permanently.

~IV~

James’s always known.

Perhaps that’s an over reach, but it’s true enough. He’s known for years, on some level, that the thing between Sirius and Remus is something completely foreign to him. Something completely separate from how Sirius licks his face when James is over sleeping and he wants to be a general nuisance. Separate from how he and Remus have begun discussing anything and everything in the wee hours of the morning, with a spot of tea between them and a blanket on their legs, because Remus can’t sleep from the moon and James has never been able to sleep through the whole night without feeling guilty over it. He thinks it stemmed from when he was younger, when his parents were feeling sickly, and before they were gifted a house elf by a family friend who recognized that the elderly Potters needed just a bit more assistance. 

James never knew whether it was obvious to him because he’s always considered Sirius as his bastard brother since Christmas of first year, and that he’s always trying to make sure that Remus is all right after finding out just how impressively the bloke can keep secrets once Sirius figured out his furry little problem. So he’s not sure what others know, or even what Remus and Sirius  know of what’s happening between them, honestly, there have been so many almosts that James has picked up on over the years. And he still shutters thinking about the near total break that happened with the prank, still isn’t quite sure what had past between them to get Sirius and Remus  speaking with each other once more, but he does know that Remus staying with James, Sirius, and  Peter the past summer after Sirius escaping the twisted place he was suppose to call a home, is what helped indefinitely. And now, a year separate from the prank, things finally feel normal between them.

Well— Erm, not normal per se. Those idiots are still blustering and bumbling and bashfully avoiding one another when anything close to romantic comes up in a discussion or when their hands touch over the Great Hall table or whenever James makes a pointed remark when he catches one of them staring a bit too slack jawed at the other in the midst of something totally bloody innocuous in the eyes of a normal person— EG: Sirius gathering his hair— that’s nearly to the bottom of his neck now a days— into a small knot on the back of his head, or Remus sucking idly on a sugar quill while he’s revising. And sure, James has to deal with the kicks at his ankles, or a spare jinx if one of them is especially pissy, but Lily’s come to join him in the ribbing, so it kind of makes everything all right. Especially when she levels her beautiful, forrest green eyes with his own brown ones, and she actually looks sort of endeared.

Yeah— that’s a fucking amazing feeling all right, and it’s probably the memory of that happening only a few hours ago that has got James all jittery now, far past midnight. So with a tired sigh, he slides open the drapes of his fourposter, is ready to go downstairs for a kitchen raid if Remus isn’t awake— Though once he sets his glasses on, and blinks a few times over to get acclimated with the dark, he’s only a bit stunned to find the shapes of Remus and Sirius crowded on the former’s bed— and they’re really not much more than suggestions beneath the shadows, but it’s enough for James to see Sirius’s head bent low, resting it against the crook of  Moony’s neck and shoulder, while the shorter boy has got his arms wrapped around Sirius’s torso. And it’s nothing obscene, not really— it’s not like they’re nude or anything— but Sirius is shirtless, and Remus does have this blissed out expression painted over his features, that James would bet good money is the same one Sirius has got on if most of his face wasn’t covered by his hair.

And in another breath, Remus’s honey colored eyes flap open, widening exponentially when he catches sight of James, and wiggling around as if he wants to move away from Sirius completely, which is of course stunted when Sirius makes a low noise under his breath, and presses closer so that his mouth is quite literally right against Remus’s neck, and his arms tug him closer.

And James is definitely convinced that he’s the best mate any bloke could ask for when instead of chuckling at the obvious show of territorialism, he just shakes his head indulgently at them, mouthing an “About time plonker,” to Remus, who replies in kind with a hefty, two fingered salute.

This time James has to bite down to prevent his chuckle from spilling out.

“And here I was, about to offer you a snack from our dear house elves.” He whispers, hopefully quiet enough so that only Remus could hear.

“Oh, just bugger off,” Remus retorts, smiling with such mirth that James can’t even feign to be affronted over it, only follows the playful command and tries figuring out just how to give the ‘If you hurt him I’ll hurt you’ talk to the pair of them without it coming across insincerely. 

~+I~

Millie was bored until she saw them.

The only reason why Millie got this boring job in this beyond posh restaurant is because her folks reckon that she needs to learn some form of responsibility before university, and she hates it. The pay is absolute shite, and most of her coworkers are all levels of boring, and the patrons are not nearly entertaining enough to try and make up some secret back story of tumultuous affairs or secret agents from the MI6, or a royal from some country on the continent meeting their star-crossed lover.

It’s all just painfully ordinary, and she’s cursing her parents while she chomps on her gum, reading some stupid note by an ugly old fart who left her his number on the receipt. 

Scoffing while she bins it, Millie glances over to the newly occupied table in her section, heart immediately leaping once she gets a good look at the pair of blokes sitting down. 

The sandy haired one is definitely cute in that reserved way her best friend Claire would definitely be mad over— the guy who could read you poetry in French or Italian and then gently kisses the back of your hand. And that’s all and well, but Millie’s every attention is laser focussed on his mate, the one that looks like he can be bloody James Bond with those smoldering eyes and that ink black hair, and God, those cheekbones! Definitely one of those beautiful, Public school boys who’s born and bread by the patrician. And while she takes their orders, she tosses him her most flattering of grins and slips in her giggle that an ex boyfriend compared to silver bells, and is sure to flip her long, chestnut hair enough times so he’d notice, even if she’s pretty sure he’s either pissed or probably more than a bit stoned. (Truly, where the bloody hell would he come up with pumpkin juice? How horrid must that taste). 

Millie may or may not spend an unreasonable amount of time spying at them from where the cooks drop off the completed plates to be sent away. He’s just so bloody good looking, and she can’t believe this awful job has finally brought her such an amazing distraction, and the arse doesn’t even pay her much mind, leaving the ordering and the conversing to his fair haired friend.

Maybe he’s sensitive, she thinks to herself. Maybe he’s just a shy soul. And yes, that must be it! The poor, beautiful sod. She’s sure to make her intentions clear next time she thinks it’s appropriate to top off their waters, because she’s so very  gracious like that.

“Enjoying yourselves?” Millie asks in her most light hearted of cadences, filling up the shorter one’s glass but smiling fully and exclusively to the boy who looks like he should be starring in some sort of Brook’s Brothers advert.

“Ta,” the sandy haired boy says, sounding a bit amused at her dilemma, but it’s kind enough so Millie doesn’t feel brassed off over it. “Do you mind pointing me to the loo?”

“Oh of course!” She crows, suddenly ecstatic as she directs him, finally getting a chance to be alone with the model. Though when she turns her attention to him once the other one leaves to take a leak, she’s kind of confused how he’s staring after him with a glance she vividly remembers on the face of her ex whenever she’d peer back around to ensure he was watching her go— Though, if Millie’s being honest, the model somehow looks simultaneously eager to watch the back of him, but also already disheartened not to have him around in ways she doubts anyone she’s ever gone out with has ever exhibited. “He’s a nice chap,” she states, instead of marinating on the strangeness of this development.

The practical model starts, seems to have forgotten about her presence all together, but then he glances over towards her with those impossibly flattering, pale gray eyes, and he nods disinterestedly. And yeah, yikes. That is a total hit to Millie’s ego.

“Ahem,” she clears her throat, begins twisting her free hand into the material of her apron. “’S nice you guys came for dinner, you don’t see much friends considering how bloody expensive it is here, hah.”

Millie feels herself going absolutely scarlet at the impassive way he drags his gaze up and down her form before taking a swig of his Bellini. “He’s not my friend.”

“Oh,” Millie practically squeaks out, suddenly wonders if maybe he’s a tutor from his class or something? Maybe the model is just taking the cute one out to dinner as a thanks for helping him pass his A-levels? Maybe this is considered cheap in the circles that the model keeps.

“’S our one year anniversary actually,” he tells her, still in that methodical, blasé way of his. And oh. Oh wow! Suddenly everything is snapping into clarity.

The way the two boys had brushed the back of their hands before being seated, how model had trusted the other boy to order for him, how model never looked away from the cute one’s mouth or collarbones or hands as they spoke. How whenever she came around to ask if they needed anything else, it felt like she was intruding on more than just a couple of mates catching up.

Oh Jesus, she feels like such an idiot, and Millie tells the model just as much.

“I’m sorry, I’m an idiot! I didn’t even put it together.”

Remarkably, the model’s rigid posture goes a bit loose at her apology, and the corner of his thin lips quirk up into a grin. “’S fine, he didn’t want to make a fuss out of it, but yeah— Just feels good telling someone.”

Millie nods eagerly, she can’t understand exactly what he means, obviously not,  but she can definitely try to, and if it feels good for him to tell a random bird about something so important, then she’s more than happy to help. “Well the point stands, yeah? He seems like a good sort, you’re lucky to have found each other.”

The model’s grin goes elastic at that, and he looks actually approachable for the first time tonight. “I’m the luckiest bloke in the world that I get to be with him.”

Millie flushes at the intensity embedded into his statement, but thankfully doesn’t have to answer when she hears the sandy haired boy walking closer now, smiling so brightly that there’s a dimple popping up on the apple of his cheek that Millie’s only just noticed— The mirth is a good color on him, she reckons. Makes him look as gorgeous as those boys on the telly dramas her Mum is always gushing about, even his eyes turn more golden than light brown. “You pestering our waitress Padfoot?”

“You know I keep my devilish tongue for you and you alone Moonbeam,” the model—Padfoot cannot be his actual name for heaven’s sake— retorts.

“Lucky me,” the sandy haired boy says wryly as he takes a seat, and while Millie walks away— intending to get them a pudding that’s on the house to celebrate the milestone of their relationship— she peers back around only once and it’s enough to see the tips of their fingers kissing across the table, and their smiles looking like a secret language not meant for anyone else to read. 

.-

My Full Wolfstar FIC Masterlist💜

[startanewdream]

(Not) A Summer Date

Written for @efkgirldetective's Summer of Jily. I couldn't resist writing about Carnivals (even if the ones I researched are nothing like the modern ones). Thanks for organizing this!

Please enjoy this silly sample of James and Lily spending a day together in what James swears it's not a date.

Read on AO3 or below:

____________________

It’s not a date.

It’s not.

They are just two friends who got dumped by their friends and happen to be at the same place at the same time. A place and a time they agreed upon previously. Together.

It’s not a date.

At least, that’s what James tells himself over and over, though as time goes by he really can’t tell why it isn’t one.

He is alone with Lily, after all, the girl he has had a crush on since forever—it’s since Fourth Year, but he doesn’t remember ever fancying anyone before that—just the two of them enjoying each other’s company. It was not supposed to be like that. They had exchanged letters a lot that Summer and when Lily mentioned a Muggle carnival happening in a park in London, James had jumped at the opportunity of going there with her.

Not just him, of course, this was all for Sirius’ interest in Muggle culture, or so James had expressly written in the letter back to her. And if James’ friends would go, then it wasn’t a date; he loved his friends, but he didn’t bring them to a date.

Except Sirius cancelled at the last time, Peter had owled him saying he couldn’t come and Remus had said he was feeling under the weather, all in the last possible minute, so James couldn’t warn Lily in time to reschedule. He had gone to the park, feeling strangely awkward, and to his surprise, Lily had shown up alone too. He had expected her friends to be there with her—they had formed a nice group of friends in the last year—, but he supposed she was equally dumped by her friends.

James had guessed they would cancel, but instead of looking upset, Lily had just smiled at him, her cheeks coloured because of the warm sunny day—though it was already dusk—and had just asked him what he wanted to do first.

And that is how James finds himself on a date with Lily.

Except it isn’t a date.

He knows this is not one, no matter how much he wishes things were different. If it were a date, he would have grabbed her hand when they went to that roller coaster that he really doubted if it was safe (though he kept quiet and faced it bravely); or he would have pulled her closer when they left the spinning ride, holding her in his arms until the world stopped dizzying around them.

And most of all he’d not have enjoyed the view from the giant wheel if they were on a date. Instead, James would have gathered his courage to place his arm around Lily’s bare shoulder, with some excuse about keeping her warm—even though the summer night was warm enough—that Lily would accept because it would be a date. She’d bit her lip to avoid a smile at his clumsy excuse, her eyes shining with the shadow of her amusement, and James’ attention would be diverted to her lips; she’d open them in a quiet invitation, and when he’d look back at her eyes, her answer would be ready even before he’d make the question.

And then, finally, he’d approach her, lips brushing tenderly in a way he could feel her smile before…

Before nothing, because they are not on a date and James doesn’t want to mess up their friendship.

That’s what they are. Friends. Who are certainly not on a date.

After the giant wheel, he gives up on any ride. Those eight minutes were enough to make him crawl up the walls, his treacherous mind unable to drift away from the fact that he was alone with Lily in an enclosed cabin and James doesn’t think he can survive another emotion like that.

They stop for a quick dinner and Lily introduces him to popcorn and his favourite rainbow cotton candy.

‘This can’t be normal,’ he mumbles, watching as the vendor prepares him the cotton candy.

‘It’s magic,’ she teases him. She picks up the cotton candy and eats a mouthful with a challenging expression on her face, but James doesn’t concentrate on this. If he’d kiss her now, James knows he would taste all the sugar on her lips.

His mouth gets dry.

He eats the cotton candy in a quiet silence after that, careful to look at everywhere but to his side, where Lily stands carefully licking the candy out of her fingers.

This is not a date; this is pure torture.

After that, James supposes he should tell her it’s late and they should go home, but Lily grabs him by the hand—her fingers entwining with his as if this is the most normal thing ever, as if her hand isn’t so warm and soft, as if that touch doesn’t make him burn with longing for more —and pulls him to the game tents.

‘This is what I told you about,’ she says brightly, referring to her latest letter and her vivid descriptions of Muggle carnivals. ‘You are gonna love this.’

James isn’t sure he is capable of loving anything else that night, but he doesn’t say anything.

He tries to focus on the games; the first ones are lucky games, and James’ luck doesn’t favour him. Lily gets a cartoonish fawn plushie, which she gives him.

‘It reminds me of you,’ she says, amused with her own thoughts, and James smiles at the coincidence.

‘Well, I should get you something then.’

Her eyes widen, a curious expression there that James doesn’t understand. They are in the middle of a row with game tents, children running around them, a mess of sounds and lights, and somehow he feels they are the only ones in the world when Lily takes a step closer to him, her hand placing an invisible strand of her hair behind her ear.

‘And what will you get me, Potter?’

It’s been a while since Lily has called him by his surname, but it sounds nice; not exactly friendly, but… provocative.

And though the moment is completely different from when they were at the giant wheel, James feels again that urge to move forward, to cup her face, lower his head and…

Not a date.

He turns his head hurriedly, cricking his neck in the process, and his eyes fall on a giant plush lion.

‘A lion!’, he cries, making her jump. ‘I will get you a lion, come on.’

Lily raises her eyebrows, but he doesn’t wait for her answer. James doubts he can control his impulse if they stay this close longer, so he walks towards the game tent; as far as he can tell, it’s easy: all he needs to do is throw an orange ball through a hoop. The person in front of him in the line is bad at it for some reason, but James is a chaser and a good one. He can do this.

‘Oh-oh,’ Lily mumbles at his side. ‘You’re gonna lose money here, James.’

‘How come?’

‘This game is nearly impossible to win.’

James frowns. He looks around, but no other tent has the same plush lion and he already promised he would give one to Lily.

‘I got this,’ he says confidently. When Lily still looks nervous, he winks at her, which, for some reason, makes her look away, a flush coming to her cheeks even as she shakes her head.

James doesn’t get this. He swears he throws the ball perfectly, but the first one bounces in the hoop, the second one doesn’t even hit the hoop and the third one is thrown too much to the left.

He pays another coin.

‘One more time.’

Lily joins him for a few rounds; her throws aren’t much better than his, but they aren’t worse either, which somehow baffles James. He is a good chaser, he holds the current record of goals in a game. He should get this stupid Muggle game.

‘I think we are getting good at this,’ Lily tells him ironically by their eighth or ninth attempt when the latest ball twirls around the hoop before missing it.

‘I am a disaster ,’ James admits, when his last coin is spent fruitlessly. The ball refuses to pass through the hoop.

‘You are not,’ Lily assures him. She seems more amused by his reaction than upset he was a failure.

‘I couldn’t make a single goal. That’s it. I’m resigning as Quidditch Captain.’

‘Because of one rigged Muggle game?’ Lily shakes her head. ‘I told you, it’s not made for anyone to win. The hoop is not round, the ball bounces too easily.’

‘Why is this even allowed?’

‘For the fun of it,’ she tells him, and then she bits her lip in a way James has seen before; she is nervous, gathering courage for something. When their gazes meet, her expression relaxes; her eyes are shining under the lights of the carnival. ‘I had fun,’ she says softly.

‘Watching me make a fool of myself?’

‘Not this. Even if we didn’t win… you have this expression when you are concentrated in a game, all focused like when you are flying as if nothing could distract you and… it’s nice to watch.’

‘You enjoy watching me?’ he repeats, fazed, because now he has said it out loud, it feels like there is some meaning behind it that he can’t quite grasp, something too unfathomable until this moment.

‘Well, I wouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t,’ she says, her voice sounding half as if this is obvious, half as if she is embarrassed by it. ‘Come on, you can spend my last coin trying to hit the darts there.’

She walks to the next tent without looking at him, her face still flushed, and James takes a while to follow her because his mind is still frozen.

Asked him out? Surely she doesn’t mean like that . Lily didn’t ask him out , she just mentioned a Carnival and told him it would be fun to go there and James had agreed… And Lily knows his friends should come and one does not bring friends to a date.

But Lily’s friends are not there yet.

‘Too bad Mary couldn’t come,’ he says slowly as he tries to aim the dart in his hand. It’s easy to pretend all his concentration is on that hit instead of waiting for her answer.

‘Oh, I didn’t call her,’ Lily says, her voice nonchalant, and James misses the dart completely. This time, he doesn’t complain.

James doubts he could form a sentence. His brain doesn’t seem to be working at all; nothing seems to be making sense, because if he could think thoroughly, then… then he would need to accept that Lily asked him out and then they are on a… No, that would be impossible, they are just friends who happen to have spent an afternoon all by themselves…

The lights of the park start to go out and they walk towards the exit; at least, when they reach the place they met—carefully out of Muggle’s prying eyes—Lily turns to watch him. She looks somewhat nervous as if she is expecting something .

‘I had fun today,’ she says at least when James stays silent. There is an underlying question in her voice that James knows how to answer.

‘I… me too.’

Lily looks relieved. ‘Good.’

‘Sorry for not getting you a gift—you can keep this fawn until—’

‘No, keep Bambi.’ She hesitates a little, her head lowering enough not to look him directly in the eyes. ‘You can get me a lion on the next date.’

‘I will—what?’

‘A lion. Or anything, really, I don’t know where I would—’

‘No, you said… a date.’

‘Yeah, well.’ She rolls her eyes as if it is nothing, though her cheeks are coloured.

‘This isn’t a date.’

‘Oh.’ Now Lily looks even more embarrassed, taking a step back. ‘I had thought… okay. Sorry.’

She looks away now, seemingly wishing to just disappear, but James knows whatever she is feeling is nothing like his current panic.

‘This couldn’t be a date. I would know if it were one.’ She turns back to him, a disbelieving expression on her face. James flushes. ‘I think.’

‘That’s okay, James, really. I just… don’t think of today as a date if you—’

‘Tomorrow,’ he interrupts her hurriedly. ‘Let’s come back here tomorrow. No, wait. Evans.’ He takes a deep breath, his heart beating too fast on his chest. He needs to do this right. ‘Would you like to go out with me tomorrow?’

He knows her answer even before she says anything just by the light on her eyes.

‘I’d love to, James.’

‘Then it’s a date.’

Lily beams, a bold expression coming to her face; it was the same she had before facing all the rides of the park, and she takes a step closer to him, rising on her tiptoes and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

It feels better than that whooping sensation he got on the roller coaster.

‘See you tomorrow,’ she whispers, and then she disappears on the spot.

James raises his hand to touch where she kissed. Tomorrow will be their second date. He can’t wait for it.

____________________________

“Dear Sirius,

Your best friend is under the impression I invited you over too. I didn’t; I can show you a Muggle Carnival some other time.

Please make up a good excuse to not crash our date tomorrow.

Hope you are enjoying this summer.

Lots of love,

Lily.”

[lovelyysiriuss]

how i met your mother (remus au) {1/10}

*gif not mine

AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi everyone! i decided to publish my wattpad book onto tumblr ! fun fact: this was actually written on tumblr around 2018, a year later tho i deleted my tumblr (which i regret oh so much) but it's back and i cannot be any more happy! excuse my old way of writing, like i said this story is very old LMAO

PAIRING: Remus Lupin AU

WORD COUNT: 642

INSPO: the show "how i met your mother"

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | ASKS! REQUESTS! TAGS! | SUBMIT ANYTHING! | WATTPAD VERSION

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

REMUS JOHN LUPIN wanted to tell a story to his kids, an incredible story in which they've heard a million times but never actually took the time to hear every single detail.

"Kids, I'm going to tell you the story of how I met your mother." Remus began in his posh-British accent facing his children.

"Are we being punished for something?" His younger son questioned. The sandy-haired man — with an exception of a few newly welcomed gray hairs — let out a 'no.'

His older daughter sighed, "Yeah, is this going to take a while?"

The elder man nodded, "Yes," his kids rolled his eyes and laid back into their seats, "...so get comfortable in your seats because I'm going to take you back twenty-five years ago before I was 'dad' I had a whole other life."

That's when he began his story. "It was all the way back in 1987, when I was 27. Just starting to make it as a Professor, teaching the dark arts, and living in the Muggle world, aka London with James, my best friend from Hogwarts. My life was good, that was until Uncle James went and screwed the whole thing up."

James was on his knees about to utter the forsaken words in which he couldn't look back now, "Will you marry me?" he asked opening the little box which the diamond ring was held in.

Though he didn't actually say it to the woman he loved and wanted to say the words too, he was practicing to his good old, twenty-seven-year-old pal, Remus.

The messy sandy-haired man practically jumped with excitement, "Yes! Perfect, then you're engaged! You pop the champagne, drink a toast, you have sex on the kitchen floor!" Suddenly contemplating on his response for a moment, he corrected, "Don't have sex on the kitchen floor."

The brunet man nodded, "Got it, and thanks for helping me plan this out, Moony."

"Mate, are you mad? It's you and Lily! You've been chasing after this girl for years, and I've been there for all the big moments between you and her." Prongs went into the kitchen to grab two butterbeer bottles from the kitchen handing one to Remus, "The moment you met, your first date, other first things..."

James chuckled nervously rubbing his hand behind his neck, taking a sip of his beer, "Y-Yeah sorry about that mate, we thought you were asleep."

"It's physics Prongs. If the bottom bunk moves, the top one moves too." He leaned against the refrigerator for leverage for what he's about to say. "But mate do you realize you're getting engaged tonight?"

"I think I do Moons." Prongs chuckled raking a hand through his hair, "What're you doing tonight?" Asked James right when Remus was about to take a sip of his butterbeer.

Narrator Remus chose to interrupt the story, "What was I doing? Uncle Prongs was about to take a big step in his life, and me? I'm calling up your Uncle Sirius."

The moment the telephone in Sirius' apartment rang he picked it up, "Talk to me." He sternly said through the phone.

"Hi Padfoot, it's me Moony."

"Hey, so you know I've always had a thing for half-Asian girls?" Remus rolled his eyes through the other side of the phone. "Well now I've got a new favorite, Lebanese girls," Moony could practically feel him smirking through his side of the phone. Sirius then began to state, "...as a matter of fact, Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians."

Remus decided to change the topic, "Hey, so you wanna do something tonight?"

"Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up!" His excitement caused Remus to roll his eyes, hanging up the call.

PERMANENT TAGS: @rottenstyx , @confuscita (dm me if you want to be part of a taglist, and specify which fandom)!

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[inkandpen22]

Young Hearts Divided (4/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader / James Potter x  Female!Reader 

Warning:��angst, fluff, arguing

Word Count: 2.2k

Part Summary: Y/N receives some troubling news from Dumbledore and she’s left having to make a difficult decision 

Masterlist

McGonagall crosses the room to me urgently. “Oh Miss Y/L/N, good you’re awake! You’ll have to come with me,” she instructs, holding her arm out toward the door. “You can leave your things here.”

My mind immediately thinks about my family. My parents and older siblings have renounced the Dark Lord. My mom, dad, and brother work at the Ministry, making them prime targets. My sister is at the Daily Prophet, she write articles against Voldemort frequently. I praise my family for their bravery and plan to follow in their footsteps when I finish Hogwarts. Yet, I can’t lose them, I couldn’t cope.

“What’s this about Minnie?” James questions. I feel his chest against my back as his hand finds my waist, giving it a comfortingly squeeze.

“Is everything alright?” Sirius adds.

McGongall rubs her hands together nervously, her eyes flickering between all three of us. “I think it’s best that Miss Y/L/N hears everything from Professor Dumbledore. It’s none of my business to relay the information,” she urgently waves me along.

I feel like I’m going to sick. McGongall’s purposeful vagueness only makes me worry more. My sight falls to the carpet beneath my feet as I struggle to cope with this overwhelming dread.

“Well I’m coming with her,” James insists, moving to escort me out the Common Room. He takes my hand, but I remain frozen in place.

“Mr. Potter, I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I’ll make sure she gets there and is okay,” McGongall assures him.

“With all due respect Professor, I think it’s up to Y/N to decide what’s best for her.” James steps over to stand in front of me. His fingers brush under my chin, raising my head to meet his gaze. “Do you want me to come with you?” He asks gently. His eyes filled with worry.

His words sound like a foreign language in my head. Is this what being in a state of shock feels like? My body feels numb while the mind is working overtime. Everything appears strange to me like I’m in a dream or something.

“I… I….” my brows scrunch together with distress as I stutter. Turning over my shoulder, I glance at Sirius. His ink black eyes meet mine and his face softens for the first time since this afternoon. A piece of the weight on my chest subsides as the sight. “I want both of you to come,” I decide.

Sirius’s lips part as surprise etches across his features. He looks behind me to James and his face goes blank. I turn toward James and he continues to glare passed me at Sirius.

“Very well,” McGongall rushes, waving us toward the door. “Come! Come!”

I press a hand to James’s chest, “James…” He snaps out of it, peering down at me with a glimmer in his eyes. “Please…” I quietly plead with him to forget the dramatics for the time being.

He blinks, nodding his head repeatedly as he brushes his head down the back of my head before turning toward Minnie. He gives my hand a squeeze as we head toward the Fat Lady, following McGongall’s hurried pace. James leads ahead by a few steps and Sirius walks by my side. Our eyes meet and I swallow hard, doing everything in my power not to start crying. Sirius, I suspect picking up on this, places his hand on my shoulder sympathetically and offers me a nod of reassurance. I give him a weak smile so he doesn’t worry too much about me. I don’t why I feel the urge to make sure he doesn’t. I suppose it’s because he’s one of my best friends, if not my closest friend.

_____________________________________

I see Dumbledore sat behind his desk looking over papers as I turn the corner. When he hears us enter his office the Headmaster stands. “Miss Y/L/N,” he greets. His brows scrunch together when he notices James and Sirius here too. “Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He asks eerily calmly, moving around his desk.

“Miss Y/L/N requested they be here with her,” McGonagall explains as she crosses the room to stand beside Dumbledore.

“Ah yes, of course,” the Headmaster nods. “Would you three like to have a seat?” He offers, gesturing to the seats and couch behind us.

James and Sirius both look at me to decide. “I think I prefer to stand Sir,” I mumble, afraid my voice may crack if I speak louder.

Dumbledore and McGonagall exchange glances. The Headmaster appears calm and expression, as per usual. McGonagall, however, doesn’t hide her distress well. I can hear my heart rapidly pounding in my chest. James hasn’t let go of my hand once since the Common Room. I stand between him and Sirius feeling two things. One, rather short and two, protected despite the tension ridden situation.

Dumbledore looks at me in the eye, pulling me from my train of thought. “I assume you can guess as to why you have been called here.”

I nod, so I was right to be worried. My family has been gone missing or worse have been killed. James gives my hand a comforting squeeze.

“It’s your brother, Danny,” Dumbledore finally says what I’ve predicted. “He’s missing. He was sent to perform a task on behalf of the Ministry. He never returned. It’s been two days.”

I swallow hard, doing my best to stay composed. "And my parents?”

“They’re both fine, I can assure you," Dumbledore steadily replies. "They’ve written to me and have offered you a choice. You may return home until your brother is located or you may stay here.”

“What about my sister?” Eliza, I hope to high Heaven she's alright.

“She’s alright as well," he guarantees. "She has decided to take time off at the Daily Prophet to be with your parents.”

My brows scrunch together, "she’s left London?”

“Yes, she’s staying at your family’s home."

Dumbledore would never lie, of course, but that doesn't exactly sound like my sister. Eliza is strong-willed and was eager to leave our home as soon as she graduated from Hogwarts. She was overjoyed to get a job at the Daily Prophet and find her own place. I suppose the circumstance has made her reevaluate her priorities.

“I’m sorry to do this Miss Y/L/N, but I must pressure you to make a timely decision," Dumbledore urges, visibly troubled by the responsibility. "You see, your parents and sister will be going into hiding shortly. They'll be relocated to an undisclosed location. Your parents and sister are waiting to hear your decision before they do so. I assured them the safest place for you is here where we can protect you. However, if you choose to return home to your family I completely understand. You will be excused for as long as necessary. I have already taken the liberty of speaking with your professors. Your parents also wrote a letter to you as well to help you with your decision.”

My heart sinks. “You mean if I stay… I won’t be able to communicate with my family or know where they are?! Whether they’re safe for who knows how long?!” I My voice rises accidentally at the Headmaster as I step forward, yanking my hand free from James.

Dumbledore nods, a solemn expression appears on his features. “I’m afraid so.”

I step away, pacing in front of the pensieve case. Nervously, I fiddle with the ring my parents gave me on my sixteen birthday. It's a habit I've picked up when I'm nervous.

"How long does she have to decide?" James questions as I pace away, deep in my own thoughts.

"Are you mad?" Sirius jumps in. "How can Y/N possibly make a decision like this?! Family or protection is really what you're asking here!" He accuses in my defense.

"Now gentlemen-" McGongall says sharply, "we are not enjoying either! I'm sorry, I truly am, but Miss Y/L/N must make haste with her decision!"

James and Sirius continue bickering at the professors, completely ignoring their superiority.

I should go home! There's no other option, it's not yes or not, it's simply yes! My parents must be worried sick! I’m worried sick! The Death Eaters are going to pick us off like flies! I can't abandon my family and stay here like it isn't happening!

“May I see the letter?” I interrupt their deafening chatter.

Dumbledore reaches for an envelope on his desk and holds it out to me. "They informed me that they will write to you as soon as they have the chance."

Dear Y/N,

Your mom and I are so sorry to do this to you. You must know that we have done everything in our power to avoid this conclusion. Your mom would have written this letter herself, but since we heard about Danny she's been tucked away in our room. Eliza is here taking care of her. You would be so proud of your sister, she's been great through all of this.

Whatever you choose my sweet girl, we will understand. Dumbledore is right when he tells you that you're safest at school. Hogwarts is home to so many of us and nowhere is safer than home.

Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.

All my love, Dad

I read over the lines repeatedly, seeking an answer to this impossible decision. Then, as I read it again, I comprehend that my dad gave me my answer in his usual philosophical way.

“I’m going to stay,” I declare, folding up the letter.

James steps forward, visibly surprised. "Are you sure, Y/N?"

“It’s be worried here or be worried there," I determine with a nonchalant shrug. "I’m just thankfully that Eliza went back."

"I'll write to them urgently," Dumbledore announces, already moving to sit behind his desk.

"I'll walk you three back to your dormitory," McGongall begins to usher us out. She sends me a sympathetic look which I reciprocate with a weak smile.

James takes my hand as we walk back to the tower. He whispers to me frequently, asking whether I'm certain and to remind me it's not too late to change my mind. His words just fall to silence in my ears. If I didn't know any better, I would think he wants me to go. However, based on how he insists on touching me in some way if I'm in reach, he likes having me around.

McGongall departs from us once the Fat Lady lets us in. "Good night," she bids farewell. "Try to get some sleep."

I'm first to enter the Common Room. I shuffle my feet, feeling like a zombie. Nothing around me feels real anymore. There's a dreadful emptiness. I sit down on the couch at the edge of the cushion as I stare absentmindedly at the distance dwindling fire. I grip my dad's letter tightly in my free hand, the sense of it there brings me ease for some reason. Weeks, maybe even months, will go by before I hear from them again. From now on, this letter will be my most important possession.

Out of my peripheral vision, Sirius sits in the arm chair while James eases down beside me. He places a hand on my back gently. "Y/N? Do you want to talk about it?"

Tears well up in my eyes and threaten to fall as I sit emotionless like a statue. James continues to rub his hand up and down my back comfortingly.

Memories of my family, the five of us always together, flash across my mind. Family vacations, holidays, birthdays, random Saturday mornings, when we were our happiest. Danny, Danny my protective and determined older brother who's always known he was destined for great things. He's out there somewhere in pain and suffering because he believes in a world of acceptance and because he voiced this ideal. He challenged evil and as a result he got burned. I feel so powerless. There's nothing I can do and no fact is more frustrating! Given the chance, I would face Voldemort directly for what he's done! For Danny, my family, all of the other lives he's destroyed due to his greed and malice.

I can feel my blood boiling as I can't get the imagine of my brother in the presence of such an evil being. I can't save him! I can't protect him! I can't do anything! I'm useless! Abruptly, I hear the shattering glass.

"Y/N!" James yells, sounding panicked as he grabs my hand in my lap.

All I can focus on is the pain and frustration. There are no words that can describe the torment that consumes my mind and soul. It goes on and on relentlessly. All it does is continue growing.

Faintly, I see Sirius leaps over the coffee table and appear at my side. He places his hand on my knee. "Y/N..." he whispers.

I flicker my eyes in his direction. His jet black eyes that adore so much glisten with emotion as tears fill his eyes too. Seeing him in dismay makes something in me snap. Tears begin to fall from my eyes freely as I break down crying. I gasp for air, but breathing become impossible. Finally, I express real emotion since receiving the news. Needfully, I grip the fabric of his shirt and weep into his chest. His arms wrap around me like a security blanket. Softly, his hand brushes down my hair as he holds me. He mutters gentle words of assurance as he kisses the top of my head. It takes an ounce of the pain away, yet I still feel as though I'm going to die the grief is too much.

________________________________

Masterlist 

Tags: @hannah220506 @agirlwholovescoffee @a-classic-eye @devilstradegy @blackbirddaredevil23 @blackpinkdolan​ @tay-mariee

[olderthanthemorning]

south london forever (sirius black) part 1

pairing: sirius black x reader

summary: "and everything i ever did was just another way to scream your name." in which reader remembers adolescence and a certain someone's youthful grin.

wc: 1.6k

warnings: mentions of drinking

a/n: look so i fell off the face of the earth for the past few months but i'm in school and also mentally unwell so that's my excuse. this didn't turn our the way i wanted it to but i feel like that's ok?? not quite as painful as it could've be. (also ik i need to do gold rush pt2 but ive been trying to write it and never like what i write so :/) anyway, feedback is always welcome! also request stuff! characters or songs!! (p.s. i'm obsessed with SOUR by olivia rodrigo rn so pls request songs !!)

the night bus jolted and shook you awake. it was a long journey from hogwarts, but you were finally near your own neighborhood. as you looked around, everything seemed just slightly different. you were suddenly hyper aware of the fact that you would never be in any of these places as a student, or a child, again. the old church that had at least 4 weddings every spring seemed a little faded, the park and playground where you and your mates would drink at night looked much smaller in the light of early summer.

within the playground was a swing set, which hadn't meant much to you until a year ago. after a night of singing way too loud with a group of your friends, the manager of the local pub, david, kicked the lot of you out. after a few playful swears and hand gestures to the man, you promised to be back the next night and headed across the street to sit and sober up before trying to climb back into your bedroom window. the group you were with seemed larger than usual so you linked arms with mary, a fellow witch that lived up the street from you.

"picked up a few stragglers, have we?" you asked. mary was a social butterfly, and when you didn't know someone, you could count on her to know them.

"yes! and even better, they're from school," she was careful not to name hogwarts. one of the only downsides of hanging out with muggles was having to police your conversations. "that one there is james," she said pointing at a boy in a slacks and a button down that looked like it was only tucked in a fraction of what it had been at the beginning of the night. his hair is neatly cut and he wears glasses, although they make him look young, like you can see him growing out of them in while you look at him.

"he looks like he's far from home," you laughed, the boy seemed far to sheltered to have been just thrown out of a gay bar.

"tell me about it," mary snorted, "but no he's here with the other one," she nods at another boy who looks more like the others. he has on jeans and a t-shirt that is just short enough to threaten showing his middle at any moment. his hair is dark and curly but a lot messier than james', like he had been listening to a lot of rolling stones. "he's called sirius. apparently he's staying with james this summer because his parents kicked him out. they're pure bloods, real pricks."

"you'd have to be a knob to call your kid sirius," you snickered, letting go of your friends hand and flopping onto the grass. you looked up and saw the upside-down face of sirius, "just wait until you hear my brother's name."

you feel yourself go pale and cover your face with a hand, "shit. i'm sorry," although embarrassed, you couldn't help but giggle.

he chuckled, "no, it's alright. but i your going to make fun of my name, i should at least know yours." he sat beside you, prompting you to sit up, and frantically brush the grass from your hair. "i'm y/n," you say, sticking out your hand, "and that's mary."

"hi mary," sirius give your friend a knowing smile, which confuses you. "you're both going into seventh year?"

you nodded and he continued talking for a bit. sirius seemed to be engaged in the conversation with you and mary but would look around every so often, like he was expecting something. over the course of a few minutes, he managed to refer to three family members as "dickheads," admit to a prank that had involved a charm on a library door that resulted a tidal wave dowsing whoever tried to open it, and start an argument about how the chudley cannons were so much better than the holyhead harpies. the last of which you disagreed with, hence the argument.

"come on sirius, you're not fighting about quidditch again, are you?" james sat down on mary's other side.

"i like to think of it as educating our new friends. they support the harpies, james. they need all the help they can get."

"no no, harpies are decent. they've got you there." james replied, smiling softly at mary.

"listen, y/n, do you want go on a walk?" sirius suddenly turns to you.

"um..." you're caught off guard by his forwardness, you only just met the guy.

"yeah, come on. just a short walk." he pulled you up to your feet and dragged you away.

you follow him into the middle of the street, illuminated by a dim yellow glow from a light post. "how come i've never met you at school?" he turns around to look at you, walking backwards.

"dunno, not looking hard enough i guess?" you tried to test the waters of flirting, since he tried so hard to get you alone.

"i guess not," he smiled and stuck his hands in his pockets. a silence fell over the two of you as you continued to walk, just around the block.

as you rounded the corner to the opposite side of the park from your friends you decide to speak again, "so do you just really like walks or something? this seems like something you could've done alone." you continue to follow him up to a swing set and sit down in the swing next to the one he had perched in.

"you can be kind of thick, you know?" sirius looked at you as if he had just explained a simple concept to you.

"i'm sorry?" you felt annoyed, like he was mocking you. "look, you're the one that asked to be alone with me and then go on acting like a preteen boy that's never kissed anyone."

"y/n, i wasn't trying to put the moves on you, honest. i know i can go on a walk alone, but it's a little awkward to make out with someone while their best friend's right there, innit?" he pointed across the park to where mary and james were coming up for air from a kiss, giggling.

"oh." a different kind of embarrassment washed over you. "how long has that been happening?"

"james hasn't shut up about her for about a week, but tonight was the first time he's had the guts to actually talk to her."

"right." you had a sudden wish to recall a hex that would allow you to melt into ice lolly goo and seep into the mulch at your feet. you took a chance and glanced at sirius, who was grinning at you. "please don't say anything, my ego is already bruised," you said, dropping your head again.

"i mean, i'm flattered, really," he clutched his heart, dramatically, "but if i was really trying to pull you, we would be long gone by now."

"wow, you know some people find humility endearing."

"not me. how could i be humble with a face like this?" you're unsure if your eyes have ever rolled this much before in your life.

"so your ego has also had enough attention for the evening," you laugh. there is another short silence, much less awkward than the one during your walk.

"it's a star, by the way," it's sirius who breaks it this time. "sirius is a star in canis major," you realize he's referencing to your comment about his name earlier.

"yeah, i know. brightest star in the sky, right?" night lessons in the astronomy tower hadn't prepared you for much, but it was proving helpful now.

"something like that. i agree with you though, it's a little much. my parents are kind of," he paused, "supercilious? that's not the right word. but i'm not sure there is a good word for what my parents are."

"i didn't mean to give you shit about it earlier. i actually like your name," while calling it your favorite name would be a stretch, but you felt like this was the sensitive thing to say. he couldn't change it, after all.

"thanks."

"oy!" james calls to you two. the entire group had gathered and was waving you over.

"well, i guess that's our queue," you stand up and walk back together, making small conversation on the way.

the group had gathered because it was apparently time to call it a night. everyone said their goodbyes and started walking their separate ways. you were now waiting on mary to say goodbye to james, as she was always your buddy to walk home with. once again, you're left with sirius as he waits for james.

"well, it was a pleasure to meet you y/n, i look forward to next time." he said. you rack your brain and try to remember if you had made plans to hangout again. you were drunk but not still drunk enough to have missing memories.

"next time?" you ask.

"i've already bragged about how quickly i could charm you. now i just have to prove it." you hope the light post is dim enough to hid your slight blush.

"well, then i look forward to disproving you." and with that, mary is ready and the two of you link arms once again to walk back towards your homes.

[fallin-4-ya]

The Follies and Vices of You

cedric diggory x reader- part iv of series 

based off the novel and film ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen

summary: Being the beloved sister of the incredibly wealthy Mr. Potter, you felt no need to rush into marriage. But one day, when you come to meet a new acquaintance, the proud Mr. Diggory, your views of love and follies change.

warnings: a bit of angst & tension! (gif is not mine, credit to owner!)

part i, part ii, part iii, part iv, part v

‘Maybe it’s that I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or their offenses against me. My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.’ -Jane Austen 

The month of January passed dreadfully slow, as you waited for something interesting to happen. As the snow fell softly onto the ground, thoughts wondered through your head rapidly, most of them involving Mr. Diggory. In fact, he occupied your mind most days. How dreadfully awkward that poor man is, you pondered, and yet how confident. His character never made sense to you, as awfully as he appeared on the outside, you could tell there was much beneath his many layers. But your thoughts were soon interrupted by a knock on the door, it was the post.

‘From Miss Ginerva, Miss Y/N.’ You smiled and nodded thankfully. Excited, you ripped the letter open and the inside read,

My Dearest Miss Y/N, I hope my letter find you very well. How dreadful these past few days have been, for all of this snow has made me think of nothing besides summer time. I was invited to stay at my brother Bill’s until the end February; Miss Hermione Granger will be attending alongside me, to encourage sisterly bonding. I am sorry to hear that Mr. Malfoy has resided back to his home up north, but I do hope that he continues to write you such pretty verses. I shall be home before the flowers bloom. Be well.

Much love, Ginerva

You sighed thinking of how even more boring the next few months would be without the company of a most dear friend. 

Now that Mr. Malfoy was sent back home, the house was quieter than ever. Between Harry managing the estate, Sirius writing business proposals and Mr. Lupin locked up in the library; you felt most unentertained and gittery. Letters began being sent to you the day after he left, expressing a fondness for you, which kept your boredom to a minimum. You thought long about the letters exchanged between you and Mr. Malfoy; Ginny was certainly right in saying the verses were beautiful. She also urged you that there would soon be a proposal on the line if he kept with the letters, though you secretly hoped it wouldn't be anytime soon.

The next evening, to much of your excitement, you were joined by Mr. Fred and George Weasley for dinner, who were in the company of nobody other than Mr. Diggory. Reaching a hand out for each of the Weasley men, they took it graciously planting a kiss upon it. Extending out to Mr. Diggory as well, he ignored your gesture and simply bowed in your direction. After the questionable gesture from the latter of the men, you lead them to the dining room, where the rest of your family awaited.

The evening was going splendidly, much laughter and wide smiles reigned. That was, until a letter arrived addressed to you from Mr. Malfoy. You excused yourself from the table, to retire to the parlor to read it.

Blushing profusely and smiling at the beautiful verses addressed to you, unaware of the floorboards that creaked viciously behind; you sat on the armchair nearest the window of the parlor. You heard a throat clear at the doorway and shot your head up.

 ‘Mr. Diggory! I am so sorry, I mustn’t have heard of your following.’ Humming to yourself, you gazed out the window, ‘I do love this time of the year, Mr. Diggory. The snow is nothing short of lovely.’

‘Yes, Miss Potter, I do agree that the snow is very beautiful but I must interject and beckon you about some-‘

‘He’s thought to propose, you know. Mr. Malfoy that is. Quite strange, isn’t it; how young girls go to young women with only a proposal.’ You unknowingly interrupted in your dream state.

‘Miss Potter, I truly cannot help but to interject; however, there is a matter of urgency I’d like to discuss.’ Mr. Diggory huffed. Being pulled out of your trance, patience grew thin, you turned your head and snapped, ‘What is it, Mr. Diggory, that you feel so inclined to interrupt me for?’

‘Its addressing Mr. Malfoy. You see I am afraid I must interject on a most sensitive discussion topic.’

‘If you have anything negative to say about Mr. Malfoy, I must urge you that I'm the last person who would be inclined to hear it! And if you have some here to ruin my evening, I am afraid I won’t allow it.’ 

With that you grabbed your coat and trekked out into the falling snow. Footsteps not far behind you, you sped up; unwilling, or rather unwanting of hearing what anybody had to say. The crunching of snow only following you farther, as you followed the angelic pathway to the stone pavilion in the graden. You threw your back against the wall, sighing out deeply. Without a moment of peace Mr. Diggory entered your presence.

‘You cannot marry him’

You were taken aback by his sudden bluntness. Exasperated by his cultivated occurrence of strange actions you cocked your head at him.

‘May I ask you why, Mr. Diggory?’

‘The Malfoy family is least cordial, completely unattached and deranged from society. They are completely unsuitable for a family such as yours.’

‘A family such as mine?! Have you come here to separate an engagement or to insult my family, Mr. Diggory? Or rather, does your sudden interest in my affairs have anything to do with your dislike towards Mr. Malfoy; because believe me, Mr. Diggory, I know well of your disputes with the poor gentleman and will not stop an engagement from happening due to your pride and arrogance.’

‘No, Miss Potter! You know perfectly well that I find your family most respectable. I just find their family uncommony stiff for your reckless behavior.’

‘Reckless behavior! How dare you insult not only my upkeeping but a personality of another. Have you forgotten the follies and vices of you, Mr. Diggory? For who are you to judge another?’

‘Miss Y/N, has it ever occurred to you that you may be too harsh on me or perhaps my light on you may have been caused by the misjudgment of one’s character? I beg of you to enlighten me on why you find me the most disagreeable man.’

‘Well then, I beg you, Mr. Diggory, why you wish to separate a young couple who have grown quite fond of each other?’

‘Because I love you.’

There was a lull and Mr. Diggory halted. ‘I love you most ardently and I could not have you go another day more without you knowing of the likeness I have for you.’

You stood in silence, snow falling ever so godly on you both, speechless. Words clouded your mind, and you wanted to scream, and cry, and love, and erupt all at the same time. But rather than doing any of them, you looked back on him with a haze in your eyes.

‘I would not marry you if you were the last man in the world.’ You said walking away, allowing a tear slip silently from your face.

The next day there was a knock on your bedroom door early in the morning. Mr. Diggory walked in humbled and shy, ‘Miss Y/N, I’ve come to leave this for you. I hope you do me the honor to read it. Thank you much for your time.’

You had not even reached his gaze, for he spoke for too quickly and you were far too angry. Staring at the enveloped with a tear stained face for nearly an hour, you decided to open it.

Dear Miss Potter,

I hope my letter finds you in good health. I do not wish to impose on you again what I have said last night; for I am writing to you today not to remind you of said words, but rather converse upon the accusations you have brought upon me. I urge you that everything in this letter is the truth and have many to testify upon it.

Mr. Draco Malfoy and I had been connected since infancy, for his father, Lucius, and mine worked exceptionally close together. However, as Mr. Malfoy grew he became reckless; he gambled a large portion of his father’s money away and took no responsibilities seriously. Soon thereafter, his father wrote him out of his will, leaving nothing to his son. Mr. Malfoy became desperate for an inheritance; my father later offered him a job which he begrudgingly took. However, not more than seven months of work, he confessed a most passionate love to my sister. It did not take long for us to realize that he was only after her fortune for she was to inherit seven thousand pound a year. She was thirteen at the time and utterly heartbroken.

When my sister had gotten sick mere months later, my mother and I moved to London alongside her to get the best medical help. Unable to access our money without my father present, Mr. Lucius graciously lent us the sum of the bills. Unfortunately, my sister passed with just two months of treatment; she was truly a remarkable young woman. After the mourning, we paid what was due back to the Malfoy family; but for Mr. Draco Malfoy it was not enough. He hounded me for more money; knowing his dispositions I had given him the sum of his ask in hopes that he would become something of himself. He gambled the money away in two weeks. After that, I refused to give him anymore money, cutting him off for good.

Miss Y/N, I am terribly sorry to force the burden of the truth onto you, but I just felt that you ought to know. Please do keep the affairs containing my sister private, as I believe it be a disgrace to her memory to attach her name to one like his. Thank you for the time we have shared.

Yours, Mr. Cedric Diggory

(author’s note: oh my goodness! end of part 4!!! ending on a bit of a cliff hanger... i can't wait for you all to read the final chapter, which will be out soon! as always, let me know if you’d like to be part of this tag list! thank you as always for reading!)

tag list: @freddieweasleyswife @truly-insatiable @annasdani @mullthingsoverinthehotwater

[omgrachwrites]

Tell a Tale of You and Me - Chapter Twelve

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You knew that making a bet with Sirius Black was like making a deal with the devil but you just couldn’t help yourself. You had never been a heavenly woman.

Warnings: tiny bit of fluff, angst, pining, mentions of sex

Words: 2236

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this part, I would say that I’m sorry for the angst but I’m not haha! Please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I’ll be writing a Remus fic in a while and it’ll be in the same universe as this one! I love you all! xxx

Chapter Twelve

Christmas had always been an excellent time of year for Sirius, even when he had lived with his mum and brother in London because he’d always stay at Hogwarts. At Christmastime he was indescribably happy because he got to spend two whole interrupted weeks at his favourite place with his favourite people. It was also a good excuse to pull pranks – even Minnie didn’t get too angry at Christmas – and stuff himself full of food. There was an old saying that he lived by, ‘the calories don’t count at Christmas.’

However, this year he couldn’t wait for Christmas to be over, he and Y/N had had a tradition of bewitching snowballs to taunt Remus until he stopped being so sensible and joined in the fun. There was none of that this year, there was none of Y/N’s musical laughter or her teasing jokes and it caused his heart to constrict painfully.

Y/N hadn’t even spoken one word to him since the Yule Ball but every time she looked his way it seemed like she was close to bursting into tears. What hurt Sirius the most was the fact that she hadn’t even tried to speak to him, not since their argument. It was like his feelings were just all some game to her, but two could play at that game. She’d got everything she wanted and Sirius had lost her, all in a mere matter of days.

What made things worse was the fact that Regulus could now be seen strolling down the corridors with a huge grin on his face, he looked to be on top of the world. It made Sirius want to hex him.

It was the day before New Year’s Eve and he was out walking in the snow with his friends beneath the watery winter sunlight. The crisp winter afternoon was alive with the sounds of people screaming and laughing as they played in the powdery snow. Sirius glanced up with a sigh as he watched Y/N having fun with Remus and Peter. He felt a gloved hand on his arm and he turned to see that Lily was smiling at him sadly; her eyes almost had a mothering look to them.

“It will all work itself out, she misses you too even if she won’t say it, I know that she does. Regardless, you seem like you’re doing better.”

Sirius smiled at her, he appreciated her words but if Y/N really did miss him then he’d rather hear it from her, “thanks Lils, I’m doing alright. I just don’t want to cause any tensions between us, it’s pretty difficult being in the same friendship group,” he smiled and it started to snow lightly.

James slapped Sirius’ shoulder affectionately, shaking his head, “it’ll be fine mate, seriously. And hey, your bet with Y/N expires tomorrow at midnight. Soon you’ll be able to get your mind off her. I’m proud of you mate! I didn’t know that you had it in you.”

Sirius chuckled and kicked James in the shin, “hey, I’ve got as much self-control as the next person, don’t underestimate me.”

As they walked towards the iced gingerbread house that was Hagrid’s hut, Sirius felt someone gently brush past his shoulder. It was a gentle brush but Sirius could tell that it was intentional, it was no accident. He turned his head to have a go at whoever had bumped into him – his temper was running short these days – but he remained silent when he saw who it was.

He felt his eyes sting and grow watery as he realised it was his little brother. Regulus had a genuine dimpled smile on his face as he strode across the sparkling damp lawn towards the frosted pumpkin patch where Y/N was talking to Remus and Peter. His blood boiled as Regulus dipped his head and kissed Y/N’s cheek. Sirius turned away so he didn’t catch the strained smile on Y/N’s face.

Sirius’ mind was reeling as he felt his heart harden, “I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

“Where are you going?” James called after him; Sirius merely threw out a wave at his friends as he strode up the hill.

He searched everywhere before he found Freya – the girl he’d taken to the Yule Ball – in the paved Slytherin courtyard, “oi, Barnes!” he called over and when she glanced up at him she smirked and her friends simpered as he grew closer.

“What do you want?” she licked her bottom lip as she glanced up at him from beneath her long eyelashes.

He shot her a smirk as he slung an arm around her shoulder and he whispered into her ear, “meet me in the boathouse at 7am sharp tomorrow morning. Don’t be late and don’t wear any underwear, it will only get in the way.”

“To be honest, I didn’t think that you’d talk to me again after the Yule Ball but of course I’ll meet you handsome,” she purred, catching his lower lip beneath her teeth, “see you tomorrow baby.” Sirius pressed a kiss to her cheek, winked at her before striding back into the warmth of the castle.

In the morning he was probably the first one to wake up – he had to time his plan correctly or it wouldn’t work – and for a split second he wondered why he was awake. Then, he remembered and a sly smile spread across his face, he didn’t have any second thoughts about what he was about to do. He could be really cruel when he wanted to be, though it was a defence mechanism but he’d never admit it.

Quickly and quietly he got dressed and crept through the portrait hole. On the way down to the boathouse he narrowly avoided Peeves the poltergeist who was dropping inkwells on the heads of unsuspecting students. He cackled manically at Sirius before he floated away to cause even more mischief. When Sirius arrived at the boathouse, Freya was already waiting for him inside. She smiled somewhat shyly when he approached her and looked her up and down; it was true that she was very pretty. Sirius almost felt bad for using her.

“Someone’s very punctual,” he laughed and kissed her cheek, Freya giggled and tugged at the ends of his hair, the feeling made shivers run down his spine.

“Well, if Sirius Black asks to meet you him at the crack of dawn then you’d better not be late,” she flushed as she chewed her bottom lip, “now, why don’t you show me why you asked me here?” she winked.

Sirius smirked as he backed her against the cold stone wall and he dipped his head to kiss her lips, his hands going on either side of her head. She smiled against his lips, winding her arms around his neck, digging her fingers into his hair; she seemed to be into what Sirius wanted to do. About ten minutes later they were in the throes of passion right against the wall of the boathouse, Freya’s legs were tightly wrapped around his waist, her hands against his chest. Freya had wanted to skip the foreplay which had disappointed Sirius. Foreplay was one of his favourite things about sex.

He was keeping one eye on the time – Freya didn’t seem to realise that he was distracted by anything – there was only a couple of minutes to go. Like clockwork, a couple of minutes later Sirius’ ears pricked up as he heard footsteps halt behind him and he smirked, “Sirius?” she sniffled, her voice breaking as she said his name.

Sirius turned his head to look at her, Y/N had tears streaming down her cheeks like torrents of rain and her bottom lip trembled uncontrollably. He couldn’t understand how she still looked so beautiful when she cried, “how could you do this to me?”

Sirius pulled himself off of Bethany and put her down – ignoring her sounds of annoyance – and he crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at Y/N, feeling triumphant, “what makes you think that this is about you?”

Y/N wiped her tears on the sleeve of her jumper and looked away from him, “you know that I come walking through here every morning at the same time. This is our place, Sirius.”

“Not anymore,” he hissed, not caring if his words hurt her.

Y/N looked like she was about to burst into fresh tears but instead she gave him a very angry look, “you know what?! I knew it, people like you can never change can you?” she threw her hands up, “that’s why you’ll always be alone! No wonder people prefer Regulus over you. It’s no wonder that I prefer him over you, I always have! He’s everything that you’re not.”

Her words caused a painful pang in his chest as he winced, he didn’t want her words to affect him this much, and she sounded so much like his mother. A look of satisfaction crossed her face, she knew that she had hurt him. She turned away from him and marched right out of the boathouse.

Freya spoke up which caused Sirius to jump, he’d forgotten that she was there, “I don’t like being used Sirius.”

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Ever since you had found Sirius having sex with that Slytherin girl in the boathouse – in the place you had once shared with Sirius – you wouldn’t even look at him or talk to him. It hurt that he was still so happy and you couldn’t be a part of it anymore. You weren’t going to give him the power to ruin your life. Not again. You had been spending more time with Regulus and you had sincerely enjoyed spending time with him. He would never hurt you the way Sirius had.

When classes started up again, Sirius came strolling into The Great Hall, looking extremely handsome, he had a massive smirk on his face like he’d just conquered the world. You noticed that instead of wearing his usual Gryffindor tie, he was wearing a Hufflepuff one instead.

“You’re wearing a Hufflepuff tie,” Peter pointed out the obvious as Sirius sat as far away from you as he could get.

Sirius smirked at Peter, “oh do I? We got dressed again in the dark,” he smirked, looking over at the Hufflepuff table. The girls all giggled and simpered as he looked over; one girl who was wearing his tie sent him a wave.

“Excuse me, I need to go and vomit,” you spoke through gritted teeth as you simply got up and walked out of The Great Hall. You didn’t bother looking back, though if you had you would have seen the longing look that Sirius gave you.

When you walked into the common room you noticed Remus – he hadn’t been at dinner – looking very nervous, he was bouncing his leg up and down, a sure tell for when he was nervous. All thoughts of Sirius left your mind, you had to make sure that your best friend was okay, “Remus, are you alright?”

He glanced up at you, his hazel eyes wide, “I’m fine,” he hesitated before blurting it all out, “I’m seeing someone, I’ve had my first time,” he blushed.

Wow, he’d certainly kept that quiet, you had no idea that he’d been seeing someone, “I had no idea,” you blushed as you fiddled with your fingers, “so, who is it?”

“Morgana,” he chewed his lip as you raised an eyebrow, she wasn’t a very nice person. Remus was way too good for her, “I know that you don’t like her but she’s nice once you get to know her properly. We’ve been seeing each other since November.”

“So,” you sat down next to him, resting a hand on his forearm, “what’s the problem? I’d like to help if I can.”

He let out a shaky breath and he smiled gratefully at you, “thanks Y/N. I thought that I’d be content with merely sleeping with her but the more time I spend with her then the more I want to ask her out.”

“So, why don’t you? What are you so afraid of? You should tell her, in case things go wrong between you, like they have for Sirius and I,” you chewed your lip. You wanted him to be happy, he deserved to be happy.

Remus kissed the side of your head and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to him, “it’s the usual reason why I never tell people my feelings,” he sighed, “it’s the whole werewolf thing, I know I sound like a broken record but I don’t want to lump that on anyone. Nobody deserves it. And besides, I’m just not good enough for her.”

“Remus!” you frowned as you scolded him, “she’s the one who doesn’t deserve you! Don’t you ever say that about yourself, don’t you say that you’re not good enough. Because you are Remus, you’re so good, don’t ever forget that! Being a werewolf does not define who you are. I can help you if you want, I can help you talk to her?”

“You’ll help me? Really, you will?” he asked, his hazel eyes bright and hopeful as a slow smile slid onto his face.

“Of course Remus, I’ll always help you. You’re my friend,” you grinned at him as you kissed his cheek. Helping Remus would surely take your mind off things and he deserved to be with the girl he wanted.

----------------------------------------------- 

@approved-by-dentists @thefuturelawyer @a-miserable-hufflepunk @firelordmillie @seriouslysiriuss @sleep-i-ness @play-morezeppelin @pregnant-piggy @sleepingalaska @smiithys @blisfvll @rexorangecouny @findzelda @wangmangagavroche @the-moon-and-the-book @hxrgreeves @ghostofstudentspast @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @my-unique-mind​ @im-an-angel-of-the-lord-you-ass​ @acciovisio​ @obsessedwithrandomthings​

[tangerinenotions95]

Seeing Green Part 6 - A Draco Malfoy Story

Part 5

"Give her hell from us Peeves"

Even with Dumbledore gone and Umbridge in charge of the school, nothing could stop the buzzing atmosphere that had taken the school by force thanks to the twins latest charade.

Watching Umbridge being chased out of the examinations hall and into the courtyard was nothing less than hilarious; Besides, Fred and George don't need Hogwarts, they have much bigger plans for themselves. Of course, the playfulness only lasted so long until fear took over once again thanks to Harrys latest vision.

"Y/N" Ginnys voice called through the long corridor. I stopped in my tracks and saw she was accompanied by Neville and Luna. The three of them were running towards me, "What's going on?" But Ginny only grabbed my hand and pulled me along with them towards Umbridges office.

"They're going..to the ministry to try..and save Sirius" Neville explained through pants as we bolted through the classroom and up the steps to the overly pink office.

"Were you seriously going without us?" I exclaimed as the three of us confronted them. Hermione rolled her eyes explaining that Harry was once again trying to be an idiot and do everything himself.

After a lot of back and fourth and eventually coming to an agreement that we would all in fact, go, we never got the chance. Umbridge and her squad burst through the door and grabbed us all. With everyone refrusing to talk she sent for SNape who appeared rather quickly:

"I'm afraid you used the last of the Veritaserum on Miss Chang" he told her with a blank expression; he almost looked bored? He left then and I swear Umbridge began to turn red in the face from frustration.

"Very well then, I'll just have to use the Cruciatas Curse" She smiled down at my brother.

"But that's illegal" Hermione exclaimed as I felt my throat close up in fear. I stared at my brother who never took his eyes off the vile woman in front of him.

"You can use any curse you want on me but I won't tell you anything" Umbridge watched him for a moment before smiling, "Oh I believe you" and before I had time to even register what was happening I heard the word "Crucio" but her wand was not pointed at my brother I realised as my knees hit the wooden floorboards and the pain ripped through my body.

The only thing I could hear were my own screams echoing through the small office and feel excruciating pain that seemed to take over ever cell of my body. My hands tried to reach for my head in a poor attempt to dull the pain but I couldn't lift them. The pain stopped suddenly and the last thing I saw was the blurred figures of Hermione and Harry walking out of the room with Umbridge pointing her wand at that - then everything went black.

***

My eyes flew open and I sat straight up, pain resounding in all of my bones and muscles as I did so. I squinted as a dull pain took over my head as I tried to take in my surroundings. I was in the hospital wing.

"Oh you're awake" I heard the voice of Madam Pomfrey as she noticed my figure sitting up in the bed, "Thank goodness, how are you feeling?" She asked with a sympathetic smile.

"A bit sore" I croaked. She nodded and placed a glass of water to my lips which I sipped appreciatively. "I'll get you something for the pain" She told me before scurrying off towards her medicine cabinet. I wracked my brain to try and figure out what had happened when the main doors to the hospital wing opened and my brother walked in. He looked distraught but upon seeing me, his face softened.

He ran over to my bed and engulfed me in a hug, I could feel the tears from his eyes against my cheek as he kept muttering apologies to me over and over. I pulled back and looked at him finally remembering what had happened, "It's not your fault" I tried to reassure him but he shook his head, "I froze, I didn't know how to stop her, if it wasn't for Hermione.." He faltered and I knew what he meant.

"I'm here, I'm okay" I told him and made him look at me as I said so to make sure he knew I meant it. After a few deep breaths he began to tell me what had happened.

A sob wracked my body as he told me that Sirius was dead. After he was done we just sat there for a while, tears streaming down my face until Madam Pomfrey came and told him that I needed to rest and that he should go back to his dorm.

She gave me more medicine and this forced me into a deep but definitely not peaceful sleep. I woke with a start, I was drenched in sweat and had tears already running down my face with such force that I had to presume I was still ver much asleep when I had started to cry.

I put my hands over my mouth in an effort to try muffle my cries so I wouldn't wake anyone else up but I hadn't realised that I had a visitor who had been asleep in the chair beside me until two large arms wrapped themselves around me and if I hadn't of caught a glimpse of the silver ring with the serpent design on his hand I would never had known it was him.

It was some minutes before I eventually started to calm down and I pulled away to look at him, confusion evident on my face as to why he was here, holding me and making sure I was okay. Before I even got a chance to open my mouth he bet me to it,

"I told you to watch out for Umbridge" anger clearly etched across his features. I huffed in annoyance, "Are you really getting angry at me right now? I'm not the one who cast an illegal curse" I reminded him, crossing my arms over my chest as I started him down.

"I swear Potter, It's like you go looking for trouble" he said through gritted teeth and I almost retorted back to him just as snarkily when something dawned on me,

"Were you worried about me Draco?" I asked softly. He shot me a look of surprise and I'm not sure it's from being caught out of because I used his first name.

"Of course not" He shot back but his voice lacked certainty and I couldn't help the small smile that found itself on to my face, "I was merely pointing out that you are always in the way and who would I have to bother if you died" He told me, "Besides.." he started but before he launched in to all the made up excuses he had for being here I placed my hand on the back of his head and gently pushed him towards me, my lips quickly finding his and much to my surprise, he didn't pull away.

His cold hands soon found my face as he intensified the kiss. It was like a dream..but like all dreams it was short lived as my pain medicine wore off and a shooting pain went through my brain. I abruptly pulled away from him, both of my hands coming up to hold my head.

"I'll get Madam Pomfrey" he whispered and disappeared through the white curtain surrounding my bed. Madam Pomfrey entered only seconds later but she was alone and I soon fell back into a a deep sleep but this time there were no nightmares.

***

"We're gonna miss the train" I reminded him pushing his chest lightly in an attempt to be serious. He only smirked at me in response before pulling me into him and kissing me again.

"Draco" I giggled between kisses.

"Alright alright, I'll stop" he pulled away admitting defeat. I rolled me eyes playfully, "Well if I have to walk back to London I will force you to carry me" I told him as we both laughed lightly. He watched me for a moment before a frown appeared on his face,

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked him softly, my hand come up to gently move his face to look at me.

"It's just going to be a long summer is all" and I nod in understanding. He leans slightly so our foreheads are touching, "We can't even write to each other" I whisper sadly.

We stay like that for a moment before I sigh, "Someone will come looking for me if I don't go" I tell him. He looks down and I pull him into a tight hug, he tenses for a moment not exactly used to the action but then relaxes before hugging back just as much.

We eventually let go and I walk towards the door of the empty class room stopping just as I reach the handle, "See you in September?" I ask looking at him over my shoulder.

He grins, "I'll be waiting" and with one last smile I poke my head out the door and walk into the corridor one I'm sure no one is around.

I leave the school in a hurry and rush towards the station where I catch up with Harry and my friends before they reach the train. I fall into step beside Ginny, "Where were you?" She asks curiously, "Had to go back for a book I left in the dorm my accident" I tell her trying my best to be nonchalant. She eyes me for a second but if she is suspicious, she doesn't show it.

We walk closer to the group when I hear Harry saying something.

"We've got one thing that Voldemort doesn't have" He starts.

"Yeah?" Ron questions.

My brother smiles at his friend, "Something worth fighting for".

[xomarauders]

part four!!! read the whole thing here on ao3!!

tw: depictions of violence

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Euphemia was trying to be a good hostess. She was trying to offer tea and light conversation, but the shakiness of her hands as she poured the kettle and the quiver of her lip gave away her worry. James stared at her, wishing he could offer some help but he was vibrating out of his own skin as it was. Remus and his mother had arrived just a few hours ago, having used the floo network despite Hope’s wariness of stepping into the green flames without her wizard of a husband to reassure her it was safe. Remus was nearly sitting on top of James, their arms touching and knees knocking together, neither of them being able to sit comfortably together on the small sofa chair now that they were practically grown. They both sat, waiting, feeling absolutely useless as Fleamont made calls in his study to anyone who could possibly help.

“Would you like any cream in your tea, Hope?” Euphemia asked.

“No, thank you. Sugar is fine.”

“Remus? Tea?”

“I’m okay, Mrs. Potter.”

“Mia is fine, dear.”

They became silent once more. James was becoming more and more impatient. He should be doing something. He should be at the Black’s home in London, pounding on the door and demanding to see Sirius. He shouldn’t be sitting there with the possibility of his friend being hurt hanging above his head. Sirius wouldn’t hesitate to look for James, to look for any of them. Sirius would rather die than abandon his friends.

James felt like an awful friend.

His thoughts of self-loathing were interrupted by a knock on the door. Remus froze next to him, his entire body tensing with anticipation of who it could be. Euphemia was up before anyone else could move, hurrying towards the entry way as if her life depended on it—as if Sirius life depended on it. When the large door swung open, it revealed a young woman with long, dark hair, skin like porcelain and vaguely familiar eyes. Rushing up the steps behind her was a young man with a much tanner complexion and a mess of curly hair a top his head. He was carrying something in a blanket. Or rather, someone.

“He kept muttering about the Potters,” The girl started, her voice wobbly as Euphemia ushered her inside. James was out of his seat, as well as Remus, when they noticed the unconscious figure in the man’s arms was Sirius. He was pale, deathly so, with a smattering of colorful bruises covering him. Most of him was being shielded by the thick quilt he had been wrapped in, but from what the two boys could tell, their friend had been through hell.

“We found him on the side of the road,” The girl was still talking, her voice almost too fast to keep up with, “We didn’t—Regulus, he wrote to me. I didn’t know he could still write to me, but he told me Sirius was gone and at first I wasn’t sure if I believed him, I thought perhaps it was a trick, but Ted and I went to search for him anyway and he was—Gods—there was so much blood. I didn’t know what to do, we had to take Dora to Ted’s parents because she just kept crying when she saw him and I—”

“Andy, slow down. You’re going to pass out.” The man—Ted—said, his voice much calmer. James looked between the two of them, realizing with a jolt that this was Sirius’ cousin, Andromeda. Sirius had spoken about her a few times and had mentioned how she had been disowned from the family for falling in love with a muggleborn. The resemblance between Andromeda and Sirius wasn’t identical, but still there in the expressions she made and the sharpness of her cheeks.

“Here, put him on the table.” Euphemia said, helping Ted lay Sirius on the now cleared off kitchen table. James stole a glance at Remus who was hovering in the doorway with a shocked look on his face, as if he couldn’t believe it was his friend lying there in a mess of his own blood. Fleamont came in, followed by Hope who must’ve been the only one who had thought to inform Fleamont of the current circumstances occurring in his home.

“Jesus Christ,” Hope mumbled, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as tears sprung into her eyes. It was as if her reaction triggered something in Remus because suddenly, he was lurching forward, smacking his knees against the kitchen tile and grasping towards Sirius. He was screaming, but James couldn’t decipher what the words were exactly—probably desperate plea for Sirius to be okay, the same one that was threatening to crawl up James’ own throat.

Andromeda grabbed hold of Remus, his head tucking against her shoulder as he wailed and James stood shell-shocked. He didn’t know what to do in situations like this. He couldn’t offer any comfort; he couldn’t even move. If he moved, he’d be on the floor just like Remus was and he couldn’t do that right now. He just couldn’t. Instead, he directed his gaze back towards his mother and Ted. They were working furiously, with Ted peeling away the remainder of Sirius’ shirt from his body while Euphemia cast as many healing spells as she could. Hope appeared in the mix at some point with damp cloths, dabbing away at the blood across Sirius’ body and Fleamont excused himself to make more calls, specifically to Dumbledore and the auror office.

Please wake up, Padfoot, James thought to himself. Please.

A gurgled cough came in response as Sirius’ body convulsed. His eyes fluttered open and for a moment, they were full of nothing but pure terror and fear. He screamed as Ted went to touch him before realizing that it wasn’t his father. Remus was still sobbing in Andromeda’s arms, though Sirius didn’t seem to notice anyone else was in the room aside from Ted.

“Sirius,” James finally spoke, his voice sounding much more broken than he thought it would.

Sirius looked toward him, eyes widening and tears spilling down his cheeks.

“James.”

[uh-drarry]

Harry/Ron/Neville/Hermione Friendship Headcanon

Masterlist

Hermione moves into the neighborhood when they’re 8 years old.

Harry opens up to her quicker than he did with the boys. Mostly because it’s been awhile since anyone has treated him like Dudley did. He’s also noticed that her skin was like his, and that some boys were mean to her and he doesn’t want anyone treated like he was.

Ron and Neville are weary of the friendship for a little while. One, she’s a girl, have you ever heard of cooties? Also because they’re very protective of Harry.

She ends up proving herself to them when some kids are mean to Harry when they’re not around, and she yells at them. She’s been a part of the group ever since that moment.

They all quickly become best friends and spend all the time they can together.

When out on the playground together, Hermione often braided Harry’s hair and taught him how to braid hers. The other two let them try to braid their short hair and they always think that’s hilarious.

Neville taught them how to make flower crowns and Ron was actually the best at making them.

They all eventually learn how to help Harry through panic attacks. First Ron, then Harry had one on the playground one time and Neville wanted to learn how to help after that day because who knew what would’ve happened if Ron wasn’t there and Neville wasn’t there to get a teacher.

Harry gets embarrassed when he has them in public spaces but does feel better about it when his dads, Ron, Neville, or Hermione are there.

When Hermione first notices something is wrong with Harry, they’re playing in Harry’s room and the other two boys weren’t there that day. She asks him what’s wrong and he was able to ask for his dads.

Hermione ran out of Harry’s room and yelled “Sirius, Remus! Something is wrong with Harry!”

They of course drop everything and run up to his room to help him. Hermione could only watch and when everything was calm again she asked what happened and how could she help Harry next time. Then she gives Harry a hug and tells him she loves him and they watch a movie together after that.

Eventually when they’re a little older, Harry tells them why he gets the panic attacks. He tells them they’re usually triggered by being stuck somewhere or being chased. They ask him questions and he answers with what he remembers of his time with the Dursleys. He tells them about being starved, locked in the cupboard, bruised, etc. They eventually all cry and pile onto Harry in a big friend puddle to comfort him and let him know they love him forever and they’ll always be there for him.

Hermione often got teased about having only guy friends or her appearance and didn’t tell the boys about it. She didn’t want them to think less about her because of it. When Harry overheard someone harassing her, he got very upset and said some things he probably shouldn’t have said. He took Hermione to the teacher and held her hand while she explained what was happening. When Ron and Neville found out, they all buried her in a group hug and told her she was awesome and they loved her. She felt much better about her place in the group after that day and always told them if she had a problem in the future.

They became much more affectionate after that.

The boys weren’t afraid to hug, snuggle, or kiss each other's cheeks, etc. Hermione of course did all this as well.

When they’re maybe 12, they make an official pact to always be friends, to talk through problems if they have them and not let them fester, and they always have to end an argument and make up/apology with a hug.

They actually stick to this agreement.

When they all eventually get phones, they have them set so it’ll always ring if one of the four ever calls so they can always be there for each other like they promised.

When Ron and Hermione bicker, Neville and Harry will just look at each other and then go do their own thing together until the spat is over.

A lot of times, Ron and Hermione will just find them cuddled together and napping. Harry would always fall asleep on someone who ran their hands through his hair. His friends did it often.

The four are always hanging out at Grimmuald Place, and when they’re older they’ll hang out there even when Harry isn’t there. Remus and Sirius are like their uncles at this point and they all love hanging around each other.

They probably all got jobs at Sirius’s coffee shop.

They always get free things at the cafe, they can’t actually recall ever paying for anything. The workers are taught to not take their money. Hermione will always try of course and it has become a game to see who can get the most money into the tip jar without Sirius noticing. They’ve gotten $19.65 in the jar in 3.5 years of all four of them trying.

They all decided at some point that they wanted to go to East London Uni together. So they could go to school together and also because Remus teaches there of course. And it’s close to home.

They all encourage each other’s passions. Even when other people get annoyed by them.

They all come out to each other first.

They think it’s funny that none of them turned out straight.

First Harry told them he was going to marry a boy when he was older and claimed he was gay like his dads. He wanted a love like theirs. He was 13.

Second was Hermione when they were 15. She got her hands on books and such when she was curious and ended up realizing she was a lot like some of these queer girls and that she had a major crush on Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean. 

Third was actually Harry again. His Bisexual awakening. He was talking to Hermione about some of her crushes and she would talk about why she liked them, and he realized he liked a lot of the same things and maybe he had a bit of a crush on some female actresses too. He was worried for a little while that he was actually only attracted to women and not guys. That maybe he had totally messed up and he only thought he liked guys because his dads did and he wanted to be like them. But then he spent a while at Ron’s house one summer with the other three and Ron’s brother Charlie came home from Romania (therefore Harry didn’t see him often) for a week or so. Harry, a dumbass, walked into the occupied bathroom when Charlie was drying off from a shower and froze and turned very red. He then yelled an apology, and ran back to Ron’s room and buried himself in his pillow and yelled about being bisexual and screaming a little about it too. The other three just laughed at him. Harry couldn’t look at Charlie the rest of the time he was staying at the Weasley’s house. They were 17.

Fourth was Ron. Viktor Krum was an exchange student for the year and very very handsome. They were friendly and Ron was always red around him. Ron talked to his friends about Krum a lot. They thought it was cute and encouraged Ron to ask him out but he never found the courage. They were still 17.

Fifth and last but not least is Neville. He’d been pretty sure for awhile that he preferred boys but he was somewhat confused as well because well he didn’t think he was sexually attracted to them or anyone really. He liked the idea of kissing a guy he was dating but it made him uncomfortable to think about anything further than that. He eventually went to his friends asking them if something was wrong. Hermione of course immediately asked if he was asexual and then explained what it meant. Neville thought maybe that was right. Ron claimed that Charlie was asexual and they ended up calling him and letting Neville talk about some of this with Charlie who had immediately agreed to chat for a bit. Neville felt 10 times better about himself after talking to his friends and Charlie and started saying he was asexual after that. They, again, were 17. (A big year for them.)

Harry and Hermione would sometimes chat about girls and who they thought was cute but then Ron and Neville would laugh and say “Excuse me but this is a hetero free zone. *cough* Harry *cough.*” Harry would then turn to one of the guys, usually the one that said something and do something like sit on their laps, kiss them briefly, or propose to them and then ask if that was gay enough for them.

One time Ron actually kissed him back and they did that for a bit. When they separated Harry smacked Ron’s ass and just said “no homo.” They all know they are only friends, they don’t feel romantic attraction to each other and never have.

Despite that, Harry has definitely at least made out with all three of the others.

The four have bestie tattoos. They all went together when they were all of legal age.

Hermione loved it and proceeded to get many more. At least one of the boys always went with her for support even though she didn’t need it.

Ron remains the only one with the single tattoo.

Hermione often gets exasperated by the boys but she loves all of them and tries to help when she can.

Throughout school they often slept over at Harry’s before big tests to study together and this continued into college when they did have classes together. 

They really didn’t have secrets between each other. They are all very critical of people the others are dating until they can prove themselves however that happens. It hasn’t often happened that they approve of them before the couple breaks up.

They really don’t know what they’d do without the others in their lives.

---

Thank you for reading! I really enjoyed writing this one. I hope you all enjoy and are staying safe and healthy. Thank you again for all my followers I love you all. Let me know your thoughts?

Harry/Ron/Neville Friendship Post

Masterlist

Tags: @pan-and-ready-to-stan @spaceaas @abstractundefined @afanbloglikeanother  @meandminniemcg

[kaiawrites]

Satisfied

James Potter x fem!reader

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: You go to a party and meet the man of your dreams, but James Potter seems way to good to be true, there has to be a catch.

Warnings: kind of angsty, my bad writing as usual

a/n: This is a weird post Hogwarts au where Lily has a huge crush on James instead of the other way around. This is also heavily inspired by the song “Satisfied” from the Hamilton musical.

I also had a few more ideas for this so if anyone wants a part 2 just say so :)

—————————

You knew you shouldn’t have come to this party, but Lily had roped you into it, saying this guy who she had gone to Hogwarts would be there. You had heard countless things about him despite having never met him, you had grown up in France and had attended Beauxbatons, and had met Lily upon arriving in London, she was your flatmate.

She had been invited to this fancy party, but as soon as you both had arrived, Lily had been whisked away by her school friends and had left you all alone in this enormous ballroom illuminated by dream like candle light. You were used to these types of parties, you were from a pure blood french family after all, and your parents loved showing off their wealth and the well mannered daughter you were. You were usually quite comfortable in this setting, often seen dazzling around the room, but today was different, as you knew absolutely nobody here. You started walking around, keeping an eye on Lily so that you could find her again once she was done with the group of giggling girls who were fawning over her beautiful teal gown.

You had been so preoccupied with keeping Lily in your line of sight that you hadn’t noticed the person right in front of you.

“Oh god i’m so sorry notice you, all my apologies sir,” you said after bumping into the man in front of you. You looked up at him and all breath left your lungs. He was beautiful. He had beautiful intelligent hazel eyes, unruly curly dark brown hair, and smooth dark golden brown skin.

“No worries, I wasn’t paying attention either,” he said and, merlin even his voice was perfect. You racked your brain for something to say, but you were left speechless by the man in front of you.

“You strike me, as a woman who has never been satisfied,” he added, and you might have come up with a better response if you weren’t still so shocked.

“Pardon me?” You said making him chuckle deeply and making blood rush to your face.

“You’re like me, i’m never satisfied,” he repeated.

“Is that right?” You answered tauntingly.

“I have never been satisfied,” he declared.

“My name is y/n l/n,” you said.

“James Potter,” he answered, gently taking your hand in his bigger one, bringing it up to his lips and kissing your knuckles lightly, making your heart skip several beats.

“Where are you from? I’ve never seen you around here, and Sirius has definitely never mentioned you because i’m sure I would’ve remembered you,” he said teasingly, and it set your heart aflame.

“Sirius?” You questioned him.

“Oh yeah, Sirius Black my best mate, I reckon you’ve heard of him, he’s the one who threw this party,” explain James. Indeed you had heard of Sirius Black, the disowned blood traitor of the noble house of Black. Your father was acquainted with Orion Black, and he had gone on for days about how much of a disgrace Sirius was to your siblings and you and that if one of you ever ended up like him, you would be much worse than disowned. You, of course, didn’t think less of him for that, you frankly couldn’t care less about blood statuses.

“Oh yes I've heard of him, but i’m actually here with my flatmate,” you turned around gesturing towards the general direction of Lily and her friends.

“I’m actually from France, I've just moved here a few months ago,” you explained to him, still abnormally quiet, you weren’t usually one to get flustered, but this man had you tongue tied, like you would forget your own name any moment now, and you felt like every part of you was aflame with some blissful feeling.

Too soon, James had to excuse himself and left to go talk to his group of friends in which you recognized Sirius Black.

You felt like you were on cloud nine. Your conversation at lasted two, maybe three minutes but you were absolutely infatuated with the man. James Potter, even his name sounded great. Still slightly dazed about your encounter with the charming man, you didn’t notice Lily make her way towards you.

“Y/n there you are!” she exclaimed cheerily making you smile, Lily had to be the sweetest person you had ever met.

“Oh look! There he is, James,” she said excitedly pointing towards the place James Potter had just left, and then it clicked. James, James Potter. He was the man Lily was always going on about. All the blood rushed out of your face, and you felt your heart plummet to the bottom of your stomach, breaking into a million pieces at the impact. She had only ever referenced to him as James, and even if James was a fairly common name, you felt stupid to not have realized it was that James.

“Oh god i’m so helpless,” said Lily, looking towards the man of your dreams with adoring eyes. “I wish he would notice me,” she said sighing.

“Do you want me to go talk to him for you?” you asked before mentally slapping yourself. What were you thinking? Nice going y/n you thought to yourself. This man may very well have been the love of your life, were you really willing to give him away for Lily?

“You would really do that for me?” Lily asked, her emerald eyes full of pure hope, and you knew by the look in your eyes that, yes, you were willing to to let him go for Lily. You would never find anyone as trusting or as kind, and you could tell she loved him, probably more than you did, or at least differently.

You gave her a warm smile, behind which you were hiding a broken heart, and you gave her a wink before heading towards James Potter.

You breathed in deeply before placing your hand on his shoulder to notify him of your presence. When he turned around and noticed you, he gave you a grin that somehow made your heart break even more.

“Miss y/l/n, how can I help you?” He asked charmingly.

“Mr Potter,” you said with a polite smile.

“Do you like it?” He asked suddenly.

“What?” you answered confusedly.

“My last name, I was wondering if you liked it because it might be yours someday,” he said with a wink and a teasing smirk, and you choked on air.

When you didn’t say anything, the smile slipped from James face.

“I’m sorry, i’m coming on to strong aren’t I?” he asked with a disappointed look you hated seeing on his face.

“Oh no it’s alright,” you assured him, desperate to erase the look from his face.

“I- uh- would you just follow me?” You asked him, a little embarrassed.

“Of course, where are you taking me?” He asked as he took your arm.

“I’m about to change your life,” you said as you lead him towards Lily who’s face was tinged pink from seeing James head her way.

“Then by all means lead the way,” he said with a smirk.

“Hello James, it’s been a while, how are you?” Lily asked cheerily when you and James arrived to her level.

“Lily what a pleasant surprise, you must be y/n’s roommate yeah? I’m good, how are you?” Asked James, slightly befuddled.

He turned towards you, and you gave him a smile, one he clearly saw through. He seemed to understand everything you were feeling by that one fake smile, and he gave you a look, like he was asking if you were sure. You nodded and felt a hot tear roll down your cheek.

“Yes, thank you for your service in this war,” Lily said, probably referring to James’s work as an auror.

“If it takes fighting a war for us to meet again it will have been worth it,” he said before placing his lips upon Lily’s knuckles, just like he had to yours a few moment prior, though it felt like so long ago.

You knew it had to be done, Lily loved him and you knew he would grow to love her too even if it wasn’t as much. James was also friends with Sirius, and in your parent’s eyes he would be a blood traitor. As much as you hated your family’s ideals, you didn’t want to disappoint them.

“I’ll leave you to it,” you said cheerily, though inside you were starting to break far beyond repair. You turned around and briskly walked away, not looking back at the wonderful future you had just given up on, knowing you would never be satisfied.

[messrmarauder]

sup’ share your remadora headcanons pls

i have too many, here we go!

‘amused, impressed, smitten’ happened so damn fast because they spent so much time together doing order work and she would come over to try and cheer up sirius a lot

they get on straight away, always laughing and joking and they flirt but it’s a joke, it’s a just a joke.. right?

so he was basically completely in love with her within a month

he doesn’t know it though because they’re just friends, right? and friends think about friends all the time right? like all day? and all night? and friends can’t sleep because friends winked at them at 3pm? and friends feel their heart shatter when someone subtly teases their friend about someone that may or may not be another man? and friends secretly switch shifts around so they’re on the same guard watch and missions together? and friends walk each other home all the time? even though it’s a 40 minute walk each way and its far easier to floo but if she floos he wont get that kiss on the cheek that he thinks about the entire walk home and then regrets it because its creepy isn’t it? because she’s so young? and she doesn’t know that he’ll lay in bed and think about it for hours wondering why he cares so much  but they are just friends

then one day he’s writing her a letter, about something that doesn’t matter and is definitely something that doesn’t require a letter to be sent to her while she’s at work, but he’ll find any excuse at this point. and it just hits him, he thought something to himself about how even thinking of her made his entire day and it sounds far too similar to something james had once said about lily when he was trying to explain how he knew she was the one

he panics. he panics hard. he sits for hours completely still just wondering what the fuck he can do, until he decides to write to dumbledore saying he has to leave London, he can’t face her loving someone else, he thinks he would literally explode. but he calms himself down, there’s a war, harry needs him. so he bins the letter. he knows she would never think of him like that so he feels no guilt being her friend. because theyre just friends.

and the worst part is, to her, they really are just friends. it creeps up on her slowly, rather than being hard and fast like it was for him.

so for the most part, theyre just really close friends, joking and flirting, and he’s hiding the fact he’s completely in love with her and she doesn’t know but sometimes looks at him a bit suspiciously at the things he does or says that are a bit too soft and a bit too caring. but he slowly becomes her best friend

the order can tell straight away, its pathetic, he’s a mess around her despite them being so comfortable around each other. what they don’t see is that he literally pines for her. at 35. listening to all those songs about love knowing he’ll never have it

he’s badly jealous and can get quite nasty and judgemental if she has a date or talking about her exes. he used to really like bill, they get on great and he’s a good laugh, but he doesn’t speak to him for 3 weeks after finding out he and tonks had a drunken night once years ago and repeatedly tells sirius he’s a self-obsessed prick and hints to molly that bill needs a haircut. he used to support the montrose magpies until he found out tonks used to see the current captain, they never win anyway, remus thinks it’s probably because of him

molly even sits tonks down for a strong word about ‘being careful with him and letting him down gently because none of us need a broken heart in this war’ and tonks just laughs but she does start to notice what the rest of the order sees but she thinks maybe he’s just got a little crush and that’s fine because maybe she thinks he’s cute too? maybe

she falls for him way after he has and its not as terrifying, she doesn’t even think about it. it just sort of dawned on her one that that’s what it was, the thing they had going on, it made sense 

she tells her friends about this guy from her ‘duelling team’ to secretly get advice on him 

they end up together about 3 months before sirius dies after 100 ‘almost kisses’ and cuddling in bed as ‘friends’ because ‘the other rooms don’t have heating charms’ and holding hands because ‘she falls a lot padfoot, shut up’

there’s a fight with the death eaters and they think each other have been hit so when its finally over they’re running and screaming for each other until they dramatically run into each other’s arms and kiss and its all very romantic until mad eye shouts ‘HANDS OFF MY AUROR LUPIN’ and they break away and grin at each other

the next few months are bliss and they’re rarely apart, sirius moved from teasing remus about fancying her to glaring at him and giving him ‘the big brother talk’. remus quickly tells him to fuck off but tonks thinks its hilarious.

tonks friend finds out about them because he’s visiting her while she recovers after being really badly injured in the department of mysteries. she doesn’t take it well and starts telling tonks she’s crazy etc and tonks is like fuck off then bigot

but it reminds remus of how people see him and therefore how they will now start to see her. he’d never really thought about it because he never imagined them actually being together because it seemed so unrealistic. now he’s in full meltdown mode about what he could actually give her, which coincidentally, is nothing

they fight about it. they break up. remus decides to go and spy since that’s all he can offer the world. tonks is sent to guard hogsmeade/hogwarts since she’s not fit for detective duties.

he announces in a order meeting that he’s leaving and that’s how she finds out. he says he has nothing to lose when someone mentions the danger. it just makes her angrier, that she’s sitting there loving him, but he says there’s nothing for him. she says she loves him when he leaves. quite angrily. and disapparates before he can react

he shows up on her doorstep less than a month later, face black and blue, filthy, teeth missing, broken bones, after being caught out. he expects her to shudder and be disgusted when she opens the door but she kisses him. she starts to clean him up when he says he had to come back to tell her he loved her, he didn’t want to die without saying it. he says it 400 times that night, he can’t stop.

he leaves the next morning while she’s asleep and doesn’t say goodbye. this is the start of the ‘grief fucking’. something happens, he comes back, kissing her, saying life’s too short, that they need each other, he ‘stays the night’, she thinks they’ll be fine but he leaves in the middle of the night every time, and she breaks all over again. he knows its not fair and promises himself that he won’t do it next time someone dies but he does because he needs her

dumbledore told him to take something with him while he’s spying that will make him feel human and keep him sane. so he takes a picture of her, he’s scared he’ll forget her smile. but they find it, the werewolves, and he’s come back smelling of her one too many times so greyback decides he’s going to teach him a lesson about running away to witches. remus finds out about it and sends word that she needs to be hidden immediately

he goes to see her to explain he needs to be completely cut off from her and she needs to deny all knowledge of him, he needs to fully be isolated from the wizarding world for this mission to work. but she’s seen what this mission has already done to him, he’s a mess, physically, mentally, he talks of himself as if he is one of them, he’s adopted far harsher habits and doesn’t have his usual patient personality. she doesn’t want to hide, she wants to fight them, fight for remus, fight for them, so they start to argue and he’s so terrified of greyback getting her he’ll do anything to get her to forget him. so when she screams “but it doesn’t matter, if I love you and you love me-“ he turns around and screams “I DON’T LOVE YOU”  and he says it while looking right in her eyes and he sees the light leave her eyes and she looks down. he didn’t mean it, he was just desperate for her to understand and he’s trying to take it back, trying to explain but she shouts at him to get out. he goes back to the pack to try and blend in again, hoping she’ll stay hidden

there’s an emotional wizarding condition about shock that makes your eyes, ears, nose bleed and cough up blood etc, it’s pretty nasty. she gets it and gets it bad because she was so sure about their love but now she’s utterly convinced he was speaking the truth, he’s a bad liar and who would ever lie about that? mad-eye finds her bleeding out in her flat soon after remus leaves, she’d started choking on her own blood and she couldn’t see, she signalled him, he takes her to st mungo’s. he’s been alerted by dumbledore about the situation so he knows the werewolves can’t know her whereabouts so he gets a professional wizarding copycat, whose hired to walk around hogsmeade under polyjuice as a decoy while she recovers. she’s in hospital feeling completely useless and pathetic, what kind of auror doesn’t know someone’s not in love with you? she sits for hours thinking about how disappointed mad-eye must be, how dumb she is, how every touch, every kiss, every i love you, it was all a lie. she analyses every moment they had together, convincing herself they were all fake and trying to understand what his motive was, if he was just lonely?

the pack catches the fake tonks but remus doesn’t know about mad-eyes plan so he wakes up to the pack making a riot and goes over to check it out only to see tonks screaming and being hurt and groped and attacked. he is forced to watch greyback rip out her throat while they hold him back, he’s screaming and begging, then they drop her and move on to him. he’s battered but not enough to kill him. once they leave him he’s able to grab her and disparate to the burrow. arthur is in the garden and suddenly remus is just there with her, both covered in her blood, her throat ripped out, on the grass screaming.

the weasleys don’t know about the plan either and try to get him away from her, but he wont stop screaming and holding her and saying sorry, begging her, telling her he always loved her, that he’s a liar. he cant stop thinking about the last words he said to her, ‘I DON’T LOVE YOU I DON’T LOVE YOU I DON’T LOVE YOU’ and that she believed that. she died believing he didn’t love her and knew he and his kind were the reason she was dead. he cant take it and suddenly his wand is at his throat and he says the words as bill dives for his wand but blood splatters everywhere and he falls backwards and molly is screaming. he’s managed to cut himself but not his throat, thanks to bill. he spends 2 days in percys old bedroom on suicide watch begging bill to empathise and give him his wand back, ‘what if it had been fleur? if you had killed her, bill’ until they switch it to charlie who remus cant even look at considering the long feud he’s had with him for being on-and-off with tonks. he’d once told tonks that charlie was a fucking idiot, what kind of fucking idiot would ditch her for dragons? probably the same kind that left her for werewolves

after they both find out the truth, dumbledore breaks it to him, tells him about mad-eyes plan. mad-eye is trying to explain to tonks that remus had been caught with a picture of her, that the werewolves knew he wasn’t loyal because of her, so they killed her, or so they thought. she doesn’t want to see him, it doesn’t make a difference, he doesn’t love her anyway does he? he just feels guilty. but she needs to know why he had the picture and mad-eye says if she doesn’t go to see him he’ll probably break into her house, seeing the state of him. so she agrees to meet him at the burrow. he’s so relieved he’s openly sobbing on his knees, holding onto her and she’s thinking this is awkward and fully to do with guilt and nothing to do with love. he tries to explain how he had to say it to get her to stay away, that he was beyond desperate and she doesn’t believe him. ‘you can’t look into the eyes of someone you love and say that’ and he doesn’t really have an answer, just mumbles something about life or death.

after molly tells her all the details and how distraught he had been, she rethinks and goes to see him again. they talk it out properly, not screaming for once, they’re both too tired in this war and he’s too grateful to see her with her throat intact to be angry. she tells him about being in hospital but downplays it a lot, he’s still beating himself up about it until she points out she would have been caught by the werewolves if she wasn’t. they only see each other at order meetings until christmas.

he didn’t know about her patronus until harry mentioned it. he goes to see her, she is alone, but she had been working a double shift. he asks to see it and she refuses, says it’s not really any of his business unless he wants to be with her, but as he explains more about it, she thinks he’s realised they can’t be apart if this is true, so she shows him but it makes no difference because it was the usual ‘stay the night but leave again as soon as she fell asleep’ situation. she turns hopeless, if her patronus isn’t enough to show him how willing she is to sacrifice things to be with him, nothing ever will be.

after the hospital wing scene they go to grimmauld place to destroy any evidence before snape lets the death eaters in. he tries to avoid her but she catches him just to say that he’s right and they don’t have time to fight each other now that Dumbledore is gone, that they need to focus on the war, they’ve too much to do. he just nods but he doesn’t feel right. is that really it? shouldn’t he feel happy that she’ll be spared his life? but she’s still not happy he thinks. he sits up all night in the house they fell in love in and thinks maybe mcgonagall was right.

she goes home to sleep before the ministry spend all day interrogating her about dumbledores death tomorrow, but he wakes her up in the middle of the night, he asks to come in, she says there’s no more ‘grief fucks’ that she cant handle being used like that anymore. he says it’s not like that, obviously she’s not going to believe him but it’s different. he says he can’t go to the burrow, that he doesn’t want to intrude after what just happened. tonks lets him stay but only on the couch, and he thinks maybe he has lost her for good. he’s fucked her about too much and for too long. he wonders how he can show her he won’t leave this time.

the next few days are him trying to convince her this isn’t grief, its real and he is back for good, and her saying he just wants what he can’t have now and he’ll get over it in a few days. they go about missions together because she is on suspension for failing to protect the school

they’re on a weekend mission together away in scotland and they’ve kind of gotten cosy together again, almost like they’re back together but he sees her doubting him constantly, like she thinks it’s too good to be true and he’ll leave again so she doesn’t want to get too close. so it hits him that he has to prove that this is permanent so he abruptly says ‘marry me’, it’s not a question. she just laughs asking if he’s hit his head but he’s gotten very serious and says he’ll prove this is serious by marrying her, she thinks he’s fucking insane and says absolutely not but they get back together and she says she trusts him. but he keeps mentioning getting married to prove he’s here to stay after so many times of walking away but she keeps refusing him, saying they don’t need to, that it doesn’t matter. eventually he gets really emotional about how it’s really important to him to feel secure together, that they need a solid confirmation of this thing, and she agrees and they get married two days later.

it’s not a secret for long, her friend turns sides and rats them out to the death eaters,

umbridge sacks her for ‘beastiality’ in front of the entire auror department and she swears she’ll never work for the ministry again

the pregnancy is a mess. he leaves while she’s screaming at him saying if he leaves, that’s really the end of them, no going back, their marriage will be void. he leaves anyway. she waits all night for him, when he doesn’t return that night she waits until 3pm the next day before packing some stuff and going back to her parents, knowing that there was no going back this time.

he comes back to her parents, where they stayed after her parents were attacked, and andromeda screams and refuses to let him see her and says the flat has been sold and she’ll be out by monday so he better pack his shit and fuck off quickly. he has to plan the right moment to catch her in the flat by herself. she’s calm, terrifyingly calm for a pregnant women whose husband walked out on her, just packing boxes, telling him all his stuff is in the small amount of boxes in the livingroom, he can have that spare cauldron if he wants. he tries to talk to her about it but she keeps dismissing him, trying to ignore him, she shuts him up with ‘look, i know you were scared, i know you always come back, i know that but i wont have a child sitting at the window wondering if daddy will come back this time. that’s not fair, they didn’t ask for this, i did.’ and he knows he has no argument.

she says there’s post for him on the mantle and he finds a letter addressed to him with her wedding ring in it. he can’t stop himself, he’s begging her to put it back on, on his knees, half hysterical, trying to put it back on her. she says he broke his vows, theyre not together, why should she wear it but his begging gets to her and she puts it back on to shut him up but she doesn’t take it off again

he spends the next month completely doing up his father’s old rundown cottage, complete with baby room and every method of protection he can do. he doesn’t know how to show it to her since he’s seen andromeda burning his letters and only ted answers the door, so he waits in her parents back garden for hours until he catches her on her own and begs her to come see what he’s been doing. she hesitates but he looks quite manic and like he hasn’t slept in weeks so she agrees just to make sure he’s not lost the plot. he shows her around while she’s silent, he’s talking far too quickly and looking far too frantic, as if he expects her to run out the door any second. he explains everything at lightning speed, how it is for her and the baby, its made for them, how he doesn’t have to be here, he’s been staying in the spare room while he set it up but he’ll be gone the second they want it, how he’ll send all the money he gets, he’s got bill to take out some gold for him - it’s in the kitchen, how he’ll get any medicine or pregnancy things she needs so she doesn’t have to leave hiding, he’ll help her move in if she needs, if it is a werewolf he’ll do everything, if she wants. he looks so desperate so she says she’ll think about it but she breaks down when she’s leaving, shouting that this is what she wanted for them, not just her and the baby. that it should be them living here, not just her and the baby. she moves in at the end of the month.

it’s a really horrible pregnancy due to stress and inability to see a healer whenever they need. he comes home one day and she’s screaming, he finds her covered in blood. they risk getting a healer. the healer says there’s a large chance that the baby hasn’t survived. she’s hysterical, crying and screaming and hitting remus, saying he wished for this, he prayed the baby would disappear. she knows it’s not true, that he loves this baby already but she’s so distraught. its andromeda that defends him, tells her shes being ridiculous, that he’s done nothing but try and provide for this baby, put the baby first always. remus is grateful but still blames himself, for not being grateful for this child.

when teddys born they nearly write edward john lupin down but remus thinks its not right. every lupin baby carries john as a middle name, they always have but he wants to honour james, wants to thank harry for setting him straight, giving him the good bollocking that lily would have. so he adopts the potter tradition, of using the fathers name for the middle name. he thinks it will sound self-conceded but tonks thinks its fitting that he should have something in common with his godfather, especially if he might not get the chance to meet him. so it is edward remus lupin

I have a lot of pregnancy/teddy headcanons but this already ridiculously long so let’s skip that.

they live and harry moves in with them to give the weasleys space after fred. especially since hermione now stays in rons room, there’s not much space for harry. it’s great but there are postwar stresses and pumps. she finds out a lot of her friends are dead, theyre both unemployed with a small baby, werewolf legislation is still awful and then there’s charlie weasley who sends a letter essentially saying if she wanted to restart her life in romania after the war, charlie would help tonks and teddy move. remus opens it and the house is tense for a while.

I also have a lot of headcanons about charlie/tonks and remus and charlie having beef throughout ootp/hbp/postwar but we will skip just now.

they have a second son when teddy is around two. they don’t really have the money but they are both thrilled and were in a ‘not trying but if it happens, it happens’ mindset because neither liked being an only child and teddy is so wonderful and definitely not a werewolf. therefore alastor john lupin is born. teddy and ally don’t get on that well, both are hufflepuff and ally is a mini athletic remus, quidditch obsessed compared to music obsessed teddy. harry is godfather to both, and spoils them beyond belief.

remus eventually ends up at the ministry for a werewolf investigation unit that works with the aurors to stop packs, offering support/help to recently bitten and werewolf integration into wizarding society. he eventually gives it up to home school teddy and look after ally then goes back to teach at hogwarts a few years before the boys arrive.

tonks becomes head of the auror training division after the war and trains harry and other new aurors because she doesn’t want to be out in the field again as a mum but is too good a dueller to be stuck on desk work.

she visits remus in hogwarts one day because shes in the castle anyway and some boy shouts ‘sir?? is that your wife?? shes FIT’ and remus goes ‘yes youre very right mr ross, lets discuss it in Thursday detention’. ‘its not his fault im hot remus, leave him be’. teddy demands his mother never return to hogwarts since his friends wont stop teasing him about how fit his mum is, ally doesn’t mind because his friends are 11 and don’t know how hot she is. remus secretly loves it.

i am so sorry for how long this is but im avoiding uni work and you gave me an excuse