#dnd crime inc.

[orions-dnd-corner]

the goblins from session 2 are glorbuno, globdos, obgobtres, and clark

this is incredibly important lore and if the players forget before session 51 they're gonna really be in trouble

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Canada’s Department of National Defence (DND) will host trial sessions for Israeli arms technology used to kill Palestinians and maintain apartheid and occupation during a three-week “sandbox” event in Alberta next month.

From May 27 to June 21, DND is giving a select group of military suppliers the chance to test products that are designed to counter aerial drones, with direct assistance from Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) staff and experts. Among those selected is a company called “Twenty20 Insight Inc.,” which is testing the “Smash Hopper counter-drone weapon station.”

The “Smash Hopper” is a remote control weapon system developed and manufactured by Israeli arms company “Smart Shooter,” whose technology is deployed by the Israeli military in fortifications that are used to suppress Palestinian dissent in the occupied West Bank, as well as in military hardware currently being used in Israel’s assault on Gaza.

As reported by AP News in November 2022, Smart Shooter developed remote control turrets deployed by Israel that fire tear gas, stun grenades and sponge-tipped bullets at Palestinian protesters in the occupied West Bank.

Omar Shakir, the Israel and Palestine Director at Human Rights Watch, told AP: “This system will only [...] further grave Israeli human rights abuse and further the Israeli army’s abuses and the Israeli government’s crimes against humanity of apartheid and persecution against millions of Palestinians.” [...]

Continue Reading.

Tagging: @newsfromstolenland, @abpoli, @vague-humanoid

[eldritchborn]

What each game / game type my muses would play

Kasaen: Strategy, horror, and fps. No specific games but I think it would be funny if she was usually this joke-y individual until you put her in something like fortnite or cod or something and shes chewing you out for every dumb move. Also wizard101

Hermaeus: TES / BG3 cause it absolutely would be a meta motherfucker like that.

Ome.luum: Survival games, but specifically for aspects like collecting materials and exploring. Probably loves minecraft. Also wizard101 too.

Gideos: Pirate games. Or GTA. Things where he can heist and pillage cause the grind never stops

Valtiel: Surgeon Simulator. Inscryption. I have no mouth. I'll explain no more you just must understand the vision.

Slate: They play a lot of multiplayer silly games like Content Warning, Don't Starve Together, Lethal Company, Palworld, etc, or mmos, but play it alone cause they say that's how real gamers do it. Realistically they wanna play with others but getting close to people scary cause they could get hurt again.

Chaos: Horror or simulators where they can enact crimes against nature. Stuff like Species: Artificial Life, Plague inc, Spore. Huge fan of Subnautica too.

Renzo: GTA, racing games, also feels like a Scifi enjoyer. Totally plays content warning as well.

Smile: Keep this dog away from a computer (its playing Pony Island, Eversion, all those 'looks cute but actually evil' games).

Green Mage: BG3, neverwinter, pathfinder- if its dnd or dnd adjacent, Green is playing them. Also likes Jacksbox.

I will add onto this very important hc post as I add the other muses.

[dazenightmare]

A Boy by the Name of Tommy Nett

T.W.: Mentions of smoke, mentions of injuries, stealing, mentions of stealing, DnD vibes, let me know if I need to add more!

~~~~~~~~

Tommy Nett was a small boy who lived in a busy town named Pinerun. He stayed in a small out-of-the-way room in an alley by himself, meaning most didn’t know of his existence despite seeing him out and about. He scammed and stole his way through life, managing to get food and money and even some new clothes from time to time -it was easy to get away with things when you were young like him. Tommy Nett didn’t have a very good life, as one could guess. Being alone and caring for himself at such an age wasn’t nice.

When Tommy Nett was ten, he met a small creature in the forest.

The creature was unlike any he saw in his town by far. A small thing that would fit in an adult’s hand, and seemed to be many normal animals combined into one. It had short brown fur, with darker stripes here and there, and ears bigger than its head. Wide blue-gray eyes stared at him as it flew on wings similar to a bat’s, but the wing membranes being a slight, transparent blue hue, and it had a rodent-like tail which the tip of had a random assortment of green (and sometimes yellow) feathers.

It had a charm to it, Tommy had to admit, if only to himself. A cute little thing that probably wouldn’t hurt a fly even if its life depended on it. It also made a variety of sounds that Tommy suspected it learned to mimic throughout its existence.

When Tommy Nett was ten, he took the creature home and named it Tubbo.

Tubbo became his partner in crime, his best friend. Tubbo would perform on the streets, earning his portion of food as Tommy snuck about the crowd and stole spare change that no one would miss. When they were done, Tubbo flew home with Tommy following on foot. Tommy counted the change on his bed while Tubbo curled around his neck, humming a tune as he watched Tommy’s movements. Tommy would buy food and clothes from different shopping areas while Tubbo sat in his hood, looking out for threats.

When Tommy was sad, Tubbo whistled songs like a bird.

When Tubbo was hurt, Tommy did his best to bandage and treat his wounds.

When Tubbo started to steal small trinkets from booths, he made sure to get anything that made music.

When Tommy started having enough money to live properly, he made sure to buy some honey if they didn’t already have some at home.

When Tommy Nett was thirteen, he started traveling.

Spending the two years previous learning everything to know about travel and saving up, he left the town of Pinerun. Tommy had no reason to stay there, so he decided to explore the world with Tubbo by his side. He started thriving on the sights, the people, the new songs and stories. He even learned a few tricks in persuasion, trickery, stealth, anything to help him get by.

Life was really looking up for Tommy Nett as he learned his own rules of survival on the road. For example, if Tubbo tells you to not eat the berry, chances are it’s poisonous or will make you sick. If you see travelers from afar, stay hidden in case they are bad people. If Tubbo stops humming, he’s listening for something, meaning something dangerous may be nearby. If it’s raining, make shelter in a tree. If it’s thundering, do not make shelter in a tree. Smell smoke? You’re on your own buddy, Tubbo gets sleepy when there’s smoke.

When Tommy Nett was sixteen, he met a group that called themselves Sleepy Bois Inc..

They were a group of adventurers, doing tasks from village to village and were called heroes for some of their tasks.

The healer was named Philza Craft, with gray wings that shined purple when the sun hit it just right. He was a nice man.

The bard’s name was Wilbur Soot, with a polished guitar and a voice that could charm all. Tommy was fond of him.

And finally, the warrior was called Technoblade, with pig ears and gleaming red eyes. Tommy was pretty convinced he was some kind of god of combat.

They were a lovely group, stumbling upon him by accident and letting him tag along for their current mission in which Tommy totally saved all of them multiple times. That wasn’t even an exaggeration! Ask any of them, it was true! After that mission, Tommy was asked to come with them to the next town, then the next, and the next, until eventually he proudly proclaimed himself a member of Sleepy Bois Inc..

When Tommy Nett was sixteen, he found a family to call his own.

Tommy Nett may not have had a great start to life, but he would be damned if he traded it for anything else.

[inky-dumbass]

me, I do, please talk about dnd alignments, please ink, please- (- milly)

OK SO

A lot of people use alignments to go with personality, but that’s literally wrong. Alignments are about morals, not personality (not directly, anyway). Somebody who would do what they believe is right at any cost would be chaotic good or chaotic neutral depending on what they believe is right. They would not be chaotic evil because the evil alignments are about seeking personal gain even or especially at the cost of others. 

An example of what I mean: Syndrome from The Incredibles. He’s not chaotic evil, not neutral evil (probably), but rather chaotic neutral or even chaotic good. His backstory is that he was snubbed by a superhero (Mr. Incredible) and, in a more realistic wording, believes that supers are all egomaniacs who only care about their own fame. He thinks that supers are bad, so he tries to do something about it. He thinks he sees an issue, so he tries to correct it. 

(In the movie, if I remember correctly, he has the (at least in my opinion) unrealistic motivation of “i was snubbed as a child so i will get my revenge as an adult” combined with a little of what I said which would make him neutral evil.)

A more extreme example of what I mean would be the Mad Titan, Thanos. He is chaotic neutral. His actions are awful, and he commits insane atrocities, but he does them for what HE BELIEVES to be a good reason. Thanks believes that the universe is too full of sentient life and that it will destroy itself if it isn’t careful (which is true, at least of Earth), which by itself would have no bearing on his alignment. However, his solution of “destroy half of all life” is a very extreme one with enough moral implications to remove any possibility of him being of a good alignment. His reason for doing this is what prevents him from being evil. He is not doing it specifically for his own personal gain despite the fact he gained a whole ass army along the way. While Thanos is a terrible person and makes most Earth war crimes look like jokes, he is not of an evil alignment because he is doing what he does for the purpose of making life better for the rest of the universe. He specifically says as much, and if he had the motivation he has in one of the comics (killing half the universe because he’s in love with Death itself [I mean literally in love with the being that is Death]) he would be chaotic evil.

This actually goes both ways, with characters who are terrible people not being of evil alignments and characters who are good people not being of good alignments. 

Before Tony Stark gets character development, he’s lawful evil. He’s trying to get as much wealth and power as he can within the boundaries of the law and he doesn’t care that he has to make weapons to do it. 

A lot of D&D characters should actually be neutral evil or at least of a non-good alignment because of the fact that they do what they do for personal gain. 

In fact, Omin Dran, owner and CEO of Acquisitions Incorporated, war cleric of Tymora, should be neutral evil or true/chaotic neutral if he isn’t. I’ll get to the true neutral part in a sec. 

Omin has the balls to make a deal with Asmodeus himself for I believe 45% of his soul. His logic for why 45%? Asmodeus only deals in multiples of 9, and 45% isn’t a controlling share. Omin may be extraordinarily loyal to his friends, but he is a businessman above all else. He is a goddamn cleric or Tymora, the goddess of good luck, and not only does he roll natural 1s enough for him to put the Acq. Inc. logo on the 1 for their special branded dice, he has made deals with the Lord of the Nine Hells to be able to open a fucking franchise in HELL ITSELF. And he is one of the good guys.

Omin is a pretty complex example of what I’m talking about, but the point is, chaotic and lawful and neutral and good and evil have nothing to do with a character’s personality, only their morals. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[laszlosharmonica]

Amnesty’s Group Chat Names

Dreme Team

Aubrey, Dani, Jake, Duck and later Hollis and Kirby because they are friends dammit, Duck wasn’t sure how but he got lumped in with the kids but now he’s a part of the squad.

My Dad My Dad And Memes

Dreme Team but with Ned and Barclay, it’s not uncommon to have one the kids ask if they can do something dangerous or illegal only for Ned to respond “maybe...” and Barclay to respond “NO”

Agent Stern Is A Dumbass Inc.

every sylph in Amnesty + Indird they use this just for conversation but also to send a lot of those like “what cryptid would date you?” quizzes  

The Pine Guard 

Duck, Aubrey, Ned, Barclay and Mama, pretty chill but everyone is on their best behavior.

The Bom Bom Squad

Duck, Aubrey, Ned, Barclay, Dani occasionally and sometimes Indrid but his phone is usually dead or broken somewhere, crime zone. “Hey Barclay uh does this count as treason in Sylvain?” “👀” “So is that a yes or?” “😬 this might be a little time sensitive so...” 

SNL Can Suck It

Ned, Kirby, Aubrey, Dani and Jake plus whoever's helping with the show that week, usually Hollis.

The Hornets

Pretty self explanatory, Jake is added back in at some point.

Just A Dude

Duck, Hollis, Kirby, Ned, and Keith a hub for the non supernatural pals talking about normal people things I guess.

Shit Rolls Squad

Kirby's bi-weekly DnD group of Aubrey, Hollis, Jake, Dani, Duck and Keith. Ned joined once when bored but he broke Kirby's campaign with some bullshit and now he's banned.

Hollis has a group chat with the Hornets, Jake, Aubrey, Kirby. Dani, Keith and Duck for them to plan movie nights and get together to watch SND but they haven't named it.

[artbytesslyn]

Hi! i really love your art and am a patron (for 4 months its rlly been worth the money, thank!) this might be a random question but i spend a lot of time behind a desk at work so i was wondering, as someone else who might be in a same boat if you have podcasts or something that you listen to that you can recommend? there's so many out there and i want to start listening but i don't know where to begin!

Hello! Firstly, thank you for your patronage ;v; 

I do listen to a lot of podcasts! Many hours of drawing every day kind of means I need lots of audio in my life. Here’s what I can recommend (with links, and they are all free to listen):

1.) My Brother, My Brother, and Me (Comedy) (1-1.5 hours per episode): Yeah, there’s gonna be a few on here from the McElroy brothers. I think most people here know what this one is all about.

2.) Sawbones (History, Comedy) (1 hour  per episode): Also a McElroy property, but this one is a medical history podcast with Justin and Sydney McElroy discussing crazy medicine shit throughout human history. It’s bananas, and also SFW (no swearing, some bodily descriptions however.)

3.) The Jenna and Julien Podcast (Comedy, Discussion) (1.5-2 hours per episode): JennaMarbles’ podcast. I highly highly HIGHLY recommend this one, even if JennaMarbles seems outdated to you. Some are funny, and some are very insightful. Jenna is very smart and passionate about many things and you can learn a lot from this podcast. Also I don’t know if I know a funnier/ better ensemble than Jenna and Julien.

4.) Sword and Scale (True Crime) (Horror) (1.5-2.5 hours per episode): This is a true crime podcast. If you aren’t interested in that sort of thing, you can skip over this one. This is the best quality true crime podcast I’ve listened to, but it is also a bit voyeuristic. A chunk of the listening experience is listening to real recordings of court cases and any existing related audio. So, for example, the Jonestown episode contains the Jonestown tapes. Moments in the episodes like this can become very, very graphic. If you try this one out, check the comments first. If people seem remarkably turned off or upset by something in that episode, avoid it. 

And jesus christ do NOT listen to the second half of the Deep Web episode. Just fucking don’t. Be careful with this podcast. I have a high tolerance for violence, but this one can sometimes be too much. 

5.) Cool Games, Inc (Comedy) (45 mins- 1 hour per episode): Another McElroy/ Polygon property. Griffin and Nick discuss fake games based on suggestions from Twitter. It’s very funny, and the episodes are shorter. 

6.) Harmontown (Comedy, Discussion, RolePlaying) (3-3.5 hours per episode): This is the podcast I’ve been listening to for the longest time (YEARSSSSSS) Also, Dan Harmon’s podcast. You know, the guy who made Community and co-produced Rick and Morty.

If you like Rick and Morty, I HIGHLY suggest listening to this podcast. You’ll understand where a lot of the humor comes from. This is mostly on the fly humor from him and guests in front of a live audience.

At the halfway point they do Harmonquest, which is a roleplaying DnD style rpg adventure. It’s the funniest shit ever. 

7.) Tales of Horror (Horror, History) (1-1.5 hours per episode): Different and interesting. This podcast consists of recordings from old radio horror readings. The quality (audio and storytelling) varies through each. Some of the recordings are very degraded. The stories themselves are pretty tame, as you couldn’t get away with much on the radio during the times they were produced, but still qorth listening to.

8.) Movies with Mikey (Movie Discussion) (15-30 mins per episode): Okay, not really a podcast, but I’m shocked that this isn’t more popular. Mikey talks about movies that audiences didn’t praise when they were first released, and various others. Very very thoughtful introspection on a lot of movies I adore (Sunshine, Princess Mononoke, A.I., Iron Giant, to name a few). Want a new perspective on your favorite movie? Listen to him.

9.) The Flophouse (Comedy, Movie Discussion) (1.5 hours per episode): Three guys watch bad movies and comment on them. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes they’re, erm. Annoying. These episodes are kind of hit and miss. 

10.) Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Comedy, Movie discussion) (1.5 hours per episode): Mergh, also not a podcast, but can be listened to like a podcast. The Flophouse, I think, was based off of this series. I’ve been watching it since I was a kid, and Netflix just revamped it recently. Both versions are good. A guy and two robots make fun of cheesy old movies. 

That’s all for now!

[cdntrustee]

STALKING HORSE CREDIT BID: WE NEED COURT APPROVAL BEFORE STARTING A Etobicoke COURT SUPERVISED SALES PROCESS from Ira Smith on Vimeo.

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[orions-dnd-corner]

you know what? *ITC's your tumblr*

Inclined to Crime is a DND campaign, I'm Orion (the DM). It takes place in a homebrew world and all the pc's have custom subclasses! Anyone can feel free to interact, but I'm mostly here to post to my ITC minions. I'll leave a lore doc for those interested eventually...

[orions-dnd-corner]

obligatory lore post

okay. party says "give us lore" so here's all the stuff i can just tell you

this is the first of three or four of these

we're gonna start with the basics. lore is marked with || and other comments will not be totally punctuated or formatted (not for ease of reading mostly just because im lazy)

| Caelum is a world of floating islands over a planet of sea. The islands are suspended by their physical "soul" in the form of a crystaline orb known as a centerstone. These centerstones provide a force that counteracts gravity. Beneath the sea are mysterious resonating points that guide the islands above them, resulting in the slightest net positive force. Islands will slowly push upward until leaving the atmosphere to forever (?) drift in orbit. There are 7 layers of islands in Caelum: Centennia, Azura, Ramesh, Medetea, Scyrius, Praecipitum, and Corinthia. (listed bottom to top) |

caelum's islands are a bit more than they seem. we'll get to this when I talk about deities but for the time being i can give some examples, two maps attached of different layers of the world for context

the "Laraqi Archipelago" is a set of islands on the second layer, or, WAS, before events that took place in the 4th session, that were all associated to a set of centerstones located in the center of the archipelago. centerstones are complicated and there are many exceptions for the few rules

the one rule that there is no exception to, however, is the ascension of the islands.

| Islands, over long periods of time, drift upwards. All homes exist over unsteady ground, all towns have a deadline to their evacuation. This ascension is a slow, irrefutable process that cannot be halted or altered. If the island faces too forceful a pull away from its set path, it will eventually collapse and fall into the sea. The same thing happens if the centerstone is forcefully removed from the area around the island. If an island falls into the sea, there is no chance of recovery. The area directly around the sea is tumultuous and unsurvivable for the average person. Expeditions are sent to search for new islands often, but they usually arrive over the span of 10 years once every century. (Thus the name of "Centennia") |

one of the most very important parts of caelum's lore are the deities! this gets complicated. the centerstone of an island is the island's soul, and this soul is often one of a sentient creature.

| Islands in Caelum carry a centerstone, and the deity to an island is born of this centerstone. A centerstone will always carry some force, smaller ones of smaller islands will show unnatural gusts of wind or quakes in the earth. You might pray to the stone of a smaller island and recieve the blessing of fortunate foraging or recieve assistance when you are lost.

Larger islands, however, have much greater potential. They often take physical forms to represent themselves and may grant their power to others or make more direct alterations to the structure and qualities of their island. Continental sized islands (of which only 5 currently exist within Caelum's atmosphere) have the capacity to entice natural disasters or harness the power of the mass of their entire structure. They are nearly infinite sources of power which you can draw upon from massive distances.

The deities range from spirits that represent certain concepts and present an affitty to controlling them up to powerful indestructible beings that reign over natural forces on the scale of their entire island. |

...oookay! i think that covers the basics? good luck interpreting all this. the next one comes whenever i feel like it. this is mostly for people who dont have the lore context and see this blog but the later ones will include more new stuff for the players as well 😅

[orions-dnd-corner]

yukina found a gun

[orions-dnd-corner]

dnd is great because you can say to your dm "i headcannon (insert thing here)" and the dm can be like "oh cool, yeah thats canon now"

imagine if you could do that to your blorbo, quite powerful

[orions-dnd-corner]

are you excited for The Horrors coming up

THE HORRORS.

here come. the horrors.

they shall arrive

[orions-dnd-corner]

Huge thanks to @cpastor1055 for the little icon to this blog!

They're also a player for the campaign, along with @dynabeans, @everbusylittlebee (the drawings on the banner are by this person!), @xxweirdtripxx, @budgies-in-blue, @evil-swedish-fish and two others who aren't on tumblr.

[orions-dnd-corner]

Caw caw! - from cardinal

Good to know, thanks!

[orions-dnd-corner]

have you tried giving the party.. party hats.. ALSO IS THIS WHY YOU WANTED ANOTHER EMOTE

Cardinal had a party hat for a session!

Sorta yes but I also just like the emotes!