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dj-batman-abed · 6 months ago
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mosthomoeroticenemies · 2 years ago
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The Contestants
Cherik (Professor X/Magneto) - X-Men
Fuffy (Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Megop (Optimus Prime/Megatron) - Transformers
Curtwen (Curt Mega/Owen Carvour) - Spies are Forever
Thoschei (The Doctor/The Master) - Doctor Who
Perryshmirtz (Perry the Platypus/Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz) - Phineas and Ferb
Catradora (Adora/Catra) - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Soukoku (Osamu Dazai/Chuuya Nakahara) - Bungo Stray Dogs
c!TnTDuo (c!Quackity/c!Wilbur Soot) - Dream SMP
Spy/Supervillain - Genghis Khan by Miike Snow
Batman/Joker - Lego Batman
Wrightworth (Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth) - Ace Attorney
Batjokes (Batman/Joker) - Batman
Lawlight (L/Light Yagami) - Death Note
Bowiugi (Bowser/Luigi) - Mario
Stanarrator (Narrator/Stanley) - The Stanley Parable
Kidlaw (Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law) - One Piece
Shuake (Goro Akechi/Akira Kurusu) - Persona 5
Cuttletavio (Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio) - Splatoon
Gethan (Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Zosan (Roronoa Zoro/Sanji) - One Piece
ChellDOS (Chell/GLaDOS) - Portal
Jesus Christ/Judas Iscariot - The New Testament
Gwensuzie (Gwen Cooper/Suzie Costello) - Torchwood
Krisnix (Phoenix Wright/Kristoph Gavin) - Ace Attorney
Griffguts (Guts/Griffith) - Berserk
Hannigram (Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter) - Hannibal
Ghiralink (Ghirahim/Link) - Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Valvert (Javert/Jean Valjean) - Les Miserables
Abestache (Detective Abe Lincoln/Wilford Warfstache) - Markiplier Cinematic Universe
Sasunaru (Naruto/Sasuke) - Naruto
Jedediah/Octavius - Night at the Museum
Nami/Kalifa - One Piece
Gabv1el (V1/Gabriel) - Ultrakill
Kazumaji (Kazuma Kiryu/Goro Majima) - Yakuza
Zukka (Zuko/Sokka) - Avatar: The Last Airbender
Ineffable Husbands (Aziraphale/Crowley) - Good Omens
Billford (Bill Cipher/Stanford Pines) - Gravity Falls
Evelyn Deavor/Elastigirl - Incredibles 2
Jennifer Check/Needy Lesnicki - Jennifer’s Body
Kigo (Kim Possible/Shego) - Kim Possible
Sportarobbie (Sportacus/Robbie Rotten) - Lazy Town
Swan Queen (Emma Swan/Regina Mills) - Once Upon a Time
Hardenshipping (Magma Leader Maxie/Aqua Leader Archie) -Pokemon OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire
Westley/Inigo Montoya - Princess Bride
Sonadow (Sonic/Shadow) - Sonic the Hedgehog
Plabs (Plankton/Mr. Krabs) - SpongeBob SquarePants
Kylux (General Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren) - Star Wars
Johnchurch (Merle Highchurch/John Hunger) - The Adventure Zone: Balance
Basigan (Professor Ratigan/Basil of Baker Street) - The Great Mouse Detective
LonelyEyes (Elias Buchard/Peter Lukas) - The Magnus Archives
Johnjack (Jack Harkness/John Hart) - Torchwood
Blicy (Bloom/Icy) - Winx Club
Riddlebat (Batman/The Riddler) - Batman comics
Shin Soukoku (Atsushi Nakajima/Ryuunosuke Akutagawa) - Bungo Stray Dogs
Snowbaz (Baz Pitch/Simon Snow) - Carry On
Komahina (Nagito Komaeda/Hajime Hinata) - Danganronpa
Wonder Woman/Cheetah - DC
Spamvil (Jevil/Spamton) - Deltarune
Rk1000 (Connor/Markus) - Detroit: Become Human
John McClane/Hans Gruber - Die Hard
Fenders (Fenris/Anders) - Dragon Age 2
Vegekaka (Goku/Vegeta) - Dragon Ball Z
Rapple (Apple White/Raven Queen) - Ever After High
Billdip (Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines) - Gravity Falls
Radiostatic (Vox/Alastor) - Hazbin Hotel
Sirdust (Angel Dust/Sir Pretious) - Hazbin Hotel
Fengqing (Feng Xin/Mu Qing) - Heaven Official’s Blessing
Blitzer (Blitzø/Striker) - Helluva Boss
Martha May Whovier/Betty Lou Who - How the Grinch Stole Christmas
ZaDr (Zim/Dib) - Invader Zim
Sarumi (Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki) - K Project
Metadede (King Dedede/Meta Knight) - Kirby
Gandalf/Sauron - Lord of the Rings
Island Husbands (Ben Linus/John Locke) - Lost
Metromind (Megamind/Metro Man) - Megamind
Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/William James Moriarty) - Moriarty the Patriot
Bujeet (Buford/Bajeet) - Phineas and Ferb
Grovyle/Dusknoir - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky
Shassie (Shawn Spencer/Carlton “Lassie” Lassiter) - Psych
Rayaari (Raya/Namaari) - Raya and the Last Dragon
Tycutio (Mercutio/Tybalt) - Romeo and Juliet
Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/James Moriarty) - Sherlock
Obikin (Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi) - Star Wars
Obimaul (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul) - Star Wars
Oncelax (The Onceler/The Lorax) - The Lorax
Owen Harper/Mark Lynch - Torchwood
Lord Hater/Wander - Wander Over Yonder
Gelphie (Elphaba/Galinda) - Wicked
Cruellanita (Cruella de Vil/Anita) - 101 Dalmations
Angelo Lagusa/Nero Vanetti - 91 Days
Discotrain (The Conductor/DJ Grooves) - A Hat in Time
Klapollo (Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice) - Ace Attorney
Wrightdot (Godot/Phoenix Wright) - Ace Attorney
Kaneda/Tetsuo - Akira
Sydney Bristow/Lauren Reed - Alias
Ellen Ripley/The Xenomorph - Alien
Zadison (Zoe Benson/Madison Montgomery) - American Horror Story: Coven
Sterling Archer/Barry Dylan - Archer
Y’all (The Poll Takers)/Me (The Poll Maker) - askeletonwar
Just Walk Out!/Papyrus - askeletonwar
Londo Mollari/G’kar - Babylon 5
Rampage/Depth Charge - Beast Wars: Transformers
Pinariz (Riz/Pina) - Beastars
Kunieda Aoi/Hildegarde - Beezlebub
Sebagrell (Grell/Sebastian) - Black Butler
Gus Fring/Walter White - Breaking Bad
Spangel (Spike/Angel) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spuffy (Spike/Buffy) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Winteriron (Tony Stark/The Winter Soldier) - Captain America: Civil War
Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) - Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Carulia (Carmen Sandiego/Julia Argent) - Carmen Sandiego
Macavity/Munkustrap - Cats (1998)
Caius Marcius Coriolanus/Tullus Aufidius - Coriolanus
Dean Pelton/Dean Spreck - Community
Shadowghast (Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss) - Critical Role
Blumentrio (Caleb Widogast/Eadwulf Grieve/Astrid Becke) -Critical Role
Theopin (Lapin Cadbury/Sir Theobald Gumbar) - D20: A Crown of Candy
Hero/Villain - dannyphantom.exe
Clex (Superman/Lex Luthor) - DC
Babsquinn (Batgirl/Harley Quinn) - DC
Seavil (Jevil/Seam) - Deltarune
Rengoku Kyoujurou/Akaza - Demon Slayer
Mal/Uma - Descendants
Reed800 (Connor/Gavin Reed) - Detroit: Become Human
Ryokira (Akira/Ryo) - Devilman
Maxwil (Maxwell/Wilson) - Don't Starve
Nikki/Mackenzie - Dork Diaries
Gell/Frisky - Dot X
Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer - Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Count Dracula/Jonathan Harker - Dracula
Joan Watson/Jamie Moriarty - Elementary
Zerxus Ilerez/Asmodeus - Exandria Unlimited: Calamity
Gratsu (Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster) - Fairy Tail
Gary/John - Faith
Peter Griffin/The Chicken - Family Guy
John Crichton/Scorpius - Farscape
Emiya Archer/Cu Chulainn - Fate Stay Night
Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth - Final Fantasy VII
Cidnero (Nero tol Scaeva/Cid Garlond) - Final Fantasy XIV
Willry (Henry Emily/William Afton) - Five Nights at Freddy’s
Victor Frankenstein/The Monster - Frankenstein
Cure Peach/Eas - Fresh Pretty Cure!
Haikaveh (Alhaitham/Kaveh) - Genshin Impact
Sugio (Sugimoto/Ogata) - Golden Kamuy
Nygmobblepot (Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot) - Gotham
Mabifica (Mabel Pines/Pacifica Northwest) - Gravity Falls
Kagehina (Hinata/Kageyama) - Haikyuu!
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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago
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Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)
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Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!
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Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!
After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 
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And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 
And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 
It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 
But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!
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Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 
So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 
So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 
So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 
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So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 
Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 
While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 
Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 
We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 
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So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 
Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 
Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium
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And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 
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One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 
We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 
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This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 
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He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 
Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 
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Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 
So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 
Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 
So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 
So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 
Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 
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She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 
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Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 
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I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 
Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 
So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 
So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 
So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 
So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 
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Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 
So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 
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But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 
So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 
So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 
So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 
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I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 
Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 
That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 
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Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 
Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.
So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 
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So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 
So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 
So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 
This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 
So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 
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Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 
So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 
Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 
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But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 
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While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 
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Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 
And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 
Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....
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Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 
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Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 
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Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 
Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 
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Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....
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Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...
Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....
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Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 
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xenotoppdogg · 7 years ago
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introduction into topp dogg
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debuted October 22, 2013 under Stardom Ent. with 13 members the members are sorted among 4 “Kingdoms” Wizard Kingdom: Dance Line “display different genres and colors” Dragon Kingdom: “we’re exotic and have strong personalities” -PGoon “they're both scary like dragons” -Kidoh Lion Kingdom: have a “strong, dependable, carefree image” -Yano Knight Kingdom: have “an upright image” -ATom their company merged with Hunus Ent in July 2015 currently in 2017 they have 4 former members fandom name ToppKlass important videos that every topp klass should watch: Dogg on Topp Topp Dogg Project Topp Dogg All Kill Topp Dogg Pepero Game
okay now lets get into our 9 current members (we’ll go in age order since the leader is the oldest)
Park Sehyuk (PGoon) 10.18.1991
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Dragon Kingdom Leader, Vocalist former YG trainee former back up dancer for Evol miss my queens speaks Japanese DJs while topp dogg is on hiatus ABS “Einstein sunbaenim” hates pepero (pocky) and ramen Jenissi: my dream was to become an Italian Chef PGoon: that would've been a mistake almost threw up eating Jenissi and Hojoon’s pasta kept stealing chips from BJoo, Yano and ATom’s team while they cooked his sister is Say from Bulldok
Jeon Hojoon (Hojoon) 10.31.1992
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Wizard Kingdom Lead Singer, Lead Dancer former Brave Ent trainee former back up dancer for Evol thought ring ding dong was Nintendo has won several dance competitions he is a fashionista sometimes the members call him Harry Potter because of his round glasses Xero once called him “our four eyed hyung” fought BJoo and ATom with a crutch kissed Sangdo during the pepero game never forget this
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Yu Sangdo (Sangdo) 03.02.1993
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Dragon Kingdom Main Vocal voted by the members as the most handsome with a bareface cleanest out of the group sponsors a lil girl from Myanmar his Instagram is amazing AESTHETIC had dreads for their debut it was as awful as you think got bribed by Gohn to be quiet with chocolate kissed Hojoon during the pepero game tried to hide the kiss with an umbrella but .5cm of pocky speaks for itself attacked Nakta because he wanted to sleep with doldol honey vocals when topp dogg’s teasers came out for debut people really thought he was gonna be a rapper lmaooooooo but to be far he had dreads and was tan af and looked hard af so I guess I understand no longer lives in the topp dogg dorm
Shin Yooncheol (Nakta) 04.24.1993
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Knight Kingdom Vocalist former Jellyfish trainee almost debuted with VIXX his stage name means “camel” in Korean he chose it because he says he looks like a camel tbh he can do a great impression of a camel lmao Hansol wants to fight but in reality they are bffs really loves frogs is a great producer tol (184cm~6’) no longer lives in the topp dogg dorm doldol’s guardian angel/father protects doldol from the other members specifically sangdo and gohn “In Nakta’s heart, there is only Doldol”
Kim Hansol (Hansol) 06.15.1993
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this is my bias forgive me if its long lmao Wizard Kingdom Main Dancer, Vocalist, Face of the Group former JYP trainee former back up dancer for Evol loves voguing check out scissorhands p1&2 smol (172cm~5’8” at most) luvs/h8s BJoo&Nakta hates when people ship him with people esp. other members so pls don’t do it but he still likes to show a lot of skinship to his friends and members came out as asexual in August 2017 did a makeup tutorial on periscope outed BJoo for having to poop during a periscope lmao has a butterfly tramp stamp don’t ask idk may have gotten another tattoo but never confirmed or said what it was he just posted a pic hinting at he might have gotten another one really likes butterflies prob explains the tramp stamp calls his fans his butterflies has supported the LGBT+ community even before he came out and has always seemed sensitive to what might possibly offend any of his fans cried once bc he had to ask girls on the street to take a pic and they kept rejecting him
Kim Byungjoo (BJoo) 01.08.1994
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Wizard Kingdom Lead Dancer, Vocalist former back up dancer for Evol voted as the member that is most popular with younger girls has a tattoo above his right elbow that says “Bounce” always screaming WAOOOOW (p1&2) thought the capital of Greece was Rome ABS Xero, Hojoon and ATom put clear tape at the foot of the door to the room BJoo was changing and singing in and then yelled that they we’re going to the convenience store so BJoo came running out and fuckin fell on his knee and almost died lmao kept telling Hojoon and ATom to shoot him with their crutch and hairdryer and then almost fought ATom when he turned o the hairdryer to “shoot” him and it was on the hot setting near his crotch lmao his last wish before being “shot” was to see his mother and “pls don’t shoot me” to which he followed with “SHOOT ME NOW” this all happened within like five minutes literally a mess
Shin Jiho (Xero) 02.03.1994
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Wizard Kingdom Main Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist, Visual his stage name is Xero because he said 0 is before 1 batman’s biggest fanboy also thought the capital of Greece was Rome the other members tend to say he’s the dumbest/slowest member lmao in topp dogg project the host said his stage name was xero bc he had nothing in his head literally a model annoyed members with a rubber chicken wore cow pajamas, called himself sexy and then started singing Lee Hyori’s “10 Minutes” because in Korean “cow” sounds like “just”
Kim Sanggyun (ATom) 05.23.1995
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Knight Kingdom Rapper, Vocalist, Dancer former BigHit Trainee former back up dancer for Evol not in Wizard Kingdom but should be tbh EXTRA full of himself (in a good way) chose himself amongst the members as closest to his ideal type, the member he admires the most, quickest to have their first kiss, the member who looks the best naked, most popular with older women and younger girls lmaoo in p101s2 he voted himself as most handsome are we really surprised? went on hiatus from topp dogg to participate in p101s2- his performances: SHINee’s Replay, Who You? Rap Eval, Showtime  made it into the top35 he was eliminated at rank 26 only 6 ranks away from making it into the finale became close friends with the MMO trainees on the show, especially WANNA-ONE’s Jisung and Daniel he will be debuting with the second project group coming from p101s2, JBJ, in Sept. 2017 hates pocky fought BJoo and Hojoon with a hairdryer got a Brazilian wax and liked it kinky bastard
Seo Sangwon (Yano) 09.27.1995
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Lion Kingdom Main Rapper, Vocalist, Maknae he’s the last one in the Lion Kingdom his stage name is supposed to sound like “you know?” before topp dogg his stage name was “Swaggy Snoopy” i’m so grateful he didn’t stick with that is close to Hyuk from VIXX is the best at speaking English amongst the group no longer lives in the topp dogg dorm participated in SMTM4 got a Brazilian and almost died easily hurt by criticism ABS “fuck money, fuckin haters, fuck my label value” got attacked kissed by Gohn during pepero game literally wore a shirt that said “comme des fuckdown” during it lmaoo
okay those are all the current members so I'll just give a brief overview of the 4 past members
Jenissi (2013-2016)
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Lion Kingdom Rapper read the “Warrior” series literally a book series about feral cat clans fighting I read them when I was like 7/8 BRNRNR PRSTR can’t hold chopsticks currently a solo artist
Kidoh (2013-2015)
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the one being fed by BTS’ Jin Knight Kingdom Rapper former BigHit trainee was supposed to debut with BTS is close friends with BTS’ Jin currently a solo artist
Gohn (2013-2015)
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Lion Kingdom Main Vocal After leaving topp dogg he went to serve his mandatory military service Recently got back on Instagram His service should be ending soon but I do believe he’s still in it but idk tbh he’s just posting pics in uniform so take this with a grain of salt lmao When his service is over he wishes to become a solo artist
Seogoong (2013-2015)
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Lion Kingdom Main Vocal Originally left topp dogg to be in their sub group under dogg but when Stardom merged with Hunus under dogg disbanded Currently a solo artist with a new stage name (I’M)
thats it for my introduction into topp dogg’s members pls love and support them in the years to come :)))
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dollsome-does-tumblr · 7 years ago
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community 7x06: introduction to extraterrestrial relations
a thing i know in my heart to be true: jeff and annie definitely dressed up as mulder and scully as their first official couples’ costume on halloween, to really take advantage of their height difference and honor annie’s fbi internship. and jeff definitely threw some hissy fits over having to downgrade his hair to Fox Mulder Hair Levels.
did he wear a floppy wig? did annie try to re-shape his own beloved hair into an insulting imitation of mulder’s inferior mane? i don’t know, but i feel in my heart of hearts that community season 7 could have given us a THRILLING episode about it. in this hypothetical universe, i am the queen of community season 7.
this episode would also feature:
jeff and annie getting in a fight in the middle of the halloween dance because jeff cannot shake the humiliation of being seen with mulder hair. halloween is supposed to be an excuse for him to show off his handsomeness even more than usual. he cannot quite reconcile himself to choosing fun over choosing an opportunity to look cool, even if he knows in his heart of hearts he would rather have fun with annie.
“you seriously think it’s a handsomeness downgrade to dress up like david duchovny?” annie demands
“you seriously think it isn’t?” jeff says, appalled
“i don’t get why you’re being such a baby about this! we planned these costumes months ago! you were excited about it then!”
“i can’t just be david duchovny for you, annie. i’ve been me for over forty years. i’m not going to pretend to be your dopey dream guy just because you want me to! i am what i am; what you see is what you get. and most women, by the way, would be thrilled to get this.”
“how many years are you over forty, exactly? i’m just checking, because you may be in the running for WORLD’S OLDEST BABY.”
“you’re really gonna throw that label at me? DONALD TRUMP IS THE PRESIDENT.”
“well, at least he’s willing to go out in public with bad hair!”
the crowd gasps in horror at this, the worst burn that has ever been inflicted upon a human being.
annie goes on, “and david duchovny isn’t my dream guy! it’s--”
“don’t say it,” jeff implores desperately. “annie, i beg of you, don’t say it. you know there’s no coming back from this--”
“CHRIS PRATT!”
jeff reels back like he’s been punched.
“in guardians OR jurassic world!” annie digs the knife in.
“i hope aliens abduct you,” jeff growls.
“me too!” annie cries. “it’ll be a nice break from you!”
and annie storms out of the cafeteria.
“go winger! don’t let her chang you!” yells guess who.
“mulder and scully are fighting,” the dean announces over the mic from where he’s dj-ing. “i repeat, MULDER AND SCULLY ARE FIGHTING.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” yells garrett
(and it goes on)
in other news, we have:
shirley coming back and not being sure what her place is in the group anymore now that frankie is sort of the new Mom Friend [though Shirley definitely thinks of her more as the emotionally withholding stepmother friend], so she tries to reinvent herself as the party friend by dressing up like 'hold up’ beyonce complete w/ baseball bat (”is this a kimmy schmidt reference?” abed muses)
troy and abed [who is back for some reason, maybe because troy dedicated a building to greendale and it’s the film studies department and it’s exquisite and state of the art and abed is its king] using some of troy’s new millions to buy the most high quality nerd halloween costumes possible and struggling to understand why they don’t feel as happy as they used to in their home-made dress up clothes
britta being torn between her old friend shirley and her new i-think-we-might-be-kind-of-dating??? friend frankie and definitely getting into an angsty fight with shirley in the middle of the dance and ultimately responding to shirley’s "i don’t understand why you’re taking her side!” with “bECAUSE I’M NOT FULL OF CONFUSING HOLY-KINSEY-SCALE-BATMAN FEELINGS ABOUT WANTING TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU, SHIRLEY!” and then getting really embarrassed. but then frankie has a definite case of Mushy Feelings Face, and she goes over to britta and takes her face in her hands and kisses her in the center of the dance floor and it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened.
“oh, that’s nice,” says shirley, touched. “i’m praying for the both of you. but that’s nice.” (this is the start of a serious journey for shirley to learn to be more open-minded and accepting.)
and jeff and annie having an end-of-episode heart to heart on the study room couch about how they’re both trying to figure out how to be a couple.
“i don’t know how to just have fun,” jeff confesses. “i want to. now that i’m with you, i want to more than ever. but i hate the thought of people looking at me and thinking, ‘look at that loser’. if it’s a choice between being cool and being happy, i always pick cool. especially now that i’m with you. if i don’t try to be 100% cool 100% of the time, everyone’s going to look at us and think, ‘what’s that beautiful young woman doing with that pathetic old geezer with 90s hair? she must be with him for his money.’ which, joke’s on you, by the way.”
"please. more like ‘what’s that little airhead doing with someone that distinguished and handsome? she’s probably his twelfth mistress and he’s married to an acclaimed poetry professor with the face of kate winslet. she’s deluding herself--he’d never leave Poetry McKateWinsletFace for her. they’ve got three beautiful daughters and a golden retriever named christina rossetti.’”
“i’m pretty sure that’s still ultimately a burn on me,” jeff points out. “and a really specific one at that. and hey, if people ever think you’re a delusional 12th mistress, i’ve got a simple way to fix that: i’ll just kill ‘em.”
“well, if they think you’re an old geezer, i’ll kill them. slowly.”
“good thing we’ve got that sorted out.”
���and ... and i’m sorry about the 90s hair. i should have just let you do what you wanted instead of being such a costume stickler. you know i can get kind of -- i don’t want to say tyrannical--”
“no, tyrannical’s good.”
annie swats him on the shoulder, but in an affectionate way.
“--i’m just not used to sharing my life with somebody else,” annie finishes. “especially somebody i care about as much as you.”
“may i just say: absolute and total same.”
and they talk more about how they were both so used to not really admitting their feelings for each other for years that they’re not sure how to really be honest and communicate and make a life together. just like mulder and scully, probably. the show was really vague about what actually happened when they got together. like, REALLY VAGUE--
“mulder and scully getting together tanked the entire show,” abed opines, coming into the study room.
“YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH,” annie bellows.
“annie,” jeff says, alarmed, “don’t get me wrong. it means a lot that you’re that defensive of our relationship. i love you too. but abed is our friend--”
“this isn’t about us,” annie snarls. “this is about the greatest love story ever told. the love story of fox william mulder and dana katherine scully.”
“i know i never should have let you binge x-files with us,” abed mutters and shuffles out of the study room.
jeff grins devilishly. “you know what? i bet it would really piss him off if mulder and scully got to second base on the study table.”
“jeff!”
“too much?”
“second? you’re such an underachiever.”
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lananiscorner · 7 years ago
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If DC!Jason (DJ) would win against Arkham!Jason, what about DJ versus Arkham!Batman (AB)? Would all the different training DJ has had be enough to trump AB's experience? (I would pay real monopoly money to see AB's face when DJ pulls out his All-Blades.) Also, I only use the AJ/BJ/AB nicknames because anonymous asks have a character limit. I have a tumblr acct, but I also have no idea what I'm doing, so I dunno how to send asks as me.
No worries. Like I said, I don’t mind if people use abbreviations.
As for your question, that victory would definitely go to Arkham!Bruce, who canonically defeated Shiva, Ra’s and Deathstroke. It would be a long fight for sure, but ultimately Bruce would win. That said, he is getting older. A few more years and DC!Jason might have a chance.
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megahumanminds-blog · 6 years ago
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Every Cricket fan has done it and done it many times ... Let's find out if we match here. We are going to create ALL TIME FAVIOURATE T20 team. It's a very new format so it's slightly easy to ignore old generation here. YES, anyone can imagine what Sir Viv would have achieve in this format too but we will just stick to players who actually played in format. So, when it comes to T20 the first and name comes to one’s mind is none other than Chris Gayle ... undisputed king of the game. 1. Chris Gayle - 21 centuries, 70 fifties what else you need to choose him. Whooping 335 games, more than 11 thousand runs at an average of 40 and strike rate of 148. He just nailed it here but that's not all. These are mere stats his presence make blowers fear and run for their lives. Just that fear makes me choose him over others. No more to say. 2. There are few players who have done really good at different leagues McCullum, Watson, Guptil, Finch, Klinger and many more but this place should defiantly go to David Warner. He has all the stats to support this and again like Gayle he is fearsome. Thriving to win… runs like a cheetah. Over 7 thousand runs and 65 50+ runs this is remarkable. So my choice is David Warner. 3. Now, when no.3 comes to mind there is only one player that stands out of the league is King Kohli. There are very few players who has the same hunger like him to win a game and that’s all you need with the calibre of an internal player. He can pace the game and toy every single ball the way he wanted. Casing a big score ahh … there is no one is better than him. He also has 7600+ runs and 64 50+ run, avg of 40+ strike rate of 133 … what else you need. 4. Here comes the Superman from SA … ABD. Who can argue this??? If there is a slight possibility or imagination about anything on the field this man can defiantly do it. Faster than a 20 year boy and tougher than any experienced pal. This man is true genius. Strike rate of 147, avg of 35 and 51 50+ scores. He can turn the game around any day. Common we haven’t talked about his fielding abilities … but do we need to? Nah… just enjoy this. Now, I think here on it goes tougher because there are plenty of good players knocking to make their marks and the big task is to choose few of them. 5. Suresh Raina, well this might surprise some of you but what he has done over the years for CSK in IPL is commendable. Again, 7800 runs, Strike rate of 139, at an avg of 33 this is a really good stat … isn’t it? Yes, he has done it at number 3 mostly but there is no doubt he can do at this number too. And numbers can change anytime during game. No to forget he is a part time spinner and a brilliant fielder that makes him a complete player. Struggles with short balls but it matters only in fast bouncy pitches and he is out of form. For any other kind of ball he is a monster. 6. When comes down to finish a game and a keeping wickets then there is no dilemma in this era. It has to be MSD who else it could be? Calm like a stone he can hold his nerves even this faster format and you defiantly want him at your side. Strike rate of 136, avg 38 and 6000 runs what else you can talk about. Not just run or captaincy he is the best wicket keeper also and trust me wicket keepers can make you win the games. Some may think that he is getting older and losing touch but still no one better than him. 7. Are we just playing a boring game or we need some fun too … YEAH then let’s bring some dance to the party … here comes the DJ Bravo. Ah… don’t tell me you are surprised he is the best all-rounder going around. 5600 runs, strike rate of 125 and highest wicket taker in world whooping 427 yes you read it right. One of the great death bowlers in T20. It’s difficult to hit him, slow Yorkers … fast bouncers he can do anything with the ball. Little unpredictable and can be expansive at times but over the years he has shown that why is at the top when it comes to taking wicket. 8. When it comes to T20 bowling who can forget Lasith Malinga second highest wicket taker 348 wickets, econ rate under 7 and strike rate of 16. And death bowling… one can just imagine. Along with DJ Bravo they can steal the show. Slightly predictable now but with pace variation still a very difficult bowler. 9. Well this guy is little bazooka… Rashid Khan. Just in span of 3 years he is the no 1 and why not econ of less than 6 (yes he made it possible…) and still 166 wickets trust me you don’t want to face him. And he is not like typical slow leg spinner … this guy is playing against all speed rules. Spinners have done better than fast bowlers in this format and there are some good names like Ashwin, Badree and Narine but he is certainly a next big thing, a really exciting newcomer. Yes … sadly, things can go horribly wrong for him! 10. Andrew Tye … this is again a fairly new bowler but T20 specialist and someone who has seen him will certainly agree his selection. His wicket taking ability is just remarkable. He has 12 wickets at strike rate of 15 and econ is also 7.81 which are good in this format. He is a new bowler not very quick and lacks a to create fear but who cares if you can still get wickets like him. 11. Surprise … Dale Steyn yes this lethal bowler has good T20 stats too if you like. 207 wickets 6.66 econ and 19.7 strike rate. But most of all we all know is he dangerous and create fear batman think twice before going after him. And anyone who has played game seriously will understand the meaning of it. We all had one bowler we didn’t want to face and who is better than him? You have all you need on the field. Now, there are few reserve players who can make their way to the team depending upon combination 12. Sunil Narine- again he is a king of the game. He can make guess all the time and every time you will be puzzled. Diminished a bit after action corrections but still effective and better than a lot. 334 wickets, strike rate of 19.6 and econ of 5.96. phew … these are not test stats, its bowling at its best in T20. Do you choose him over Rashid Khan? it’s debatable and we all can go on and on. And we will do that. 13. K Pollard – He is a murder of cricket ball. He hit it really hard and long as it goes. Even you york him doesn’t matter still ball can go for a six. He pulls, drives, slog does everything possible. Over 8000 runs strike rate of 150+ and not to forget 250+ wickets and brilliant fielder. He can finish any game in a blink of an eye and a complete package. Struggles a bit against good spin attack but still you can’t score those many runs without a good ability so still a good choice. 14. Yasir Arafat – 281 wickets, strike rate of 16 and econ of 8. Slightly expensive bowler but still with that strike rate and number of wickets he is a good choice. So, team so far 1. Chris Gayle 2. David Warner 3. Virat Kohli 4. AB De Villiers 5. Suresh Raina 6. MS Dhoni 7. DJ Bravo 8. Rashid Khan 9. Dale Steyn 10. Andrew Tye 11. Lasith Malinga 12. K Pollard 13. Sunil Narine 14. Yasir Arafat This is a shorter format and plenty of good players and top of that combinations work better than any personal stats or performance so you never know what will be best. However most of these players have played together so we know a bit. Let’s choose your combination and best 11 then we open the discussion…
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dj-batman-abed · 6 months ago
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Niko bursting into the bathroom (without knocking) and shouting, "THE BOYS ARE BACK FROM HELL!" and seeing Jenny, panicking and singing: "I said HElllOOOoooO!" was actually my favorite part of the show (S1E7)
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dj-batman-abed · 6 months ago
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Sorry for the bad photo, but why do these guys have so many copies of Clue?
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dj-batman-abed · 17 days ago
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I feel like YouTube is sending me messages...
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dj-batman-abed · 1 year ago
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I'm not ready for s2, I'm not ready to scream and pause the episode every three seconds and explain every detail to the imaginary audience in my head
And then have to do that WEEKLY
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dj-batman-abed · 29 days ago
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My live reaction:
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dj-batman-abed · 1 year ago
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Crowley woke up after 4 years, dyed his hair a slightly darker red, and went to go see his boyfriend
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dj-batman-abed · 1 year ago
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dj-batman-abed · 1 year ago
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ofmd season 2 episode 3 in a nutshell
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dj-batman-abed · 1 year ago
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