#diy or die and all but cant i do both

[groovieshomosexualtendencies]

Good shit

[joe-spookyy]

saw traps in order and whether or not i would survive them

saw iii

classroom trap - jesus fuck. i think i might just die here. like. i probably Could. but i don’t know if i would even have the willpower? like i feel like i would rather just explode. survivability 2/10.

angel trap - yeah i’m getting out of here. i’m no bitch, and i would dunk my hand in that jar real quick and speedy like, and then get right to work on the lock. i could hype myself up real quick, and honestly, i feel confident that i could shake off the acid and not even cause that much damage to my hand. survivability 9/10.

shotgun collar - i am not a doctor. so this is a little iffy. but i honestly feel like i might actually be able to pull this off without getting shot by that thing. i will manually make his heart beat beat. i’ll give that nasty old man mouth to mouth for as long as i have to, and then i’ll brush my teeth for seventeen minutes straight to get the taste out. i also think i could do a good enough diy lobotomy that the pressure on his brain would let up at least a little. i think with that he would survive long enough for jeff to get through his traps, but if that’s looking iffy, i have a backup plan. i’m seducing amanda and i’m going to get her to let me out of the collar. we’re most certainly getting yuriful in there just for fun no matter what, so i might as well weaponize it. backup plan three i also think i could take the collar off without detonating it. cant be that hard. i have a small head. also, i’m not letting amanda shoot me at the end because again, she would be in love with me by now. all things considered, survivability 8/10.

jeff’s box - yeah i’m breaking out of here no problemo. does this even count as a trap? i don’t really care. survivability 10/10.

the freezer room - i’m wiggling out of those chains even if i have to dislocate my wrists. but also i think i would be able to convince jeff to let me out a lot quicker. i’m pretty tolerant to the cold, and also my beautiful nude body would be so attractive to jeff that he would forgive me for not stopping his son from dying and set me free. survivability 8/10. as jeff, there’s no real threat to me here. i’m saving her and getting out just fine. survivability 10/10.

the pig vat - WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!!! OH MY GOD. this shit is fucking foul. i just heated up my grilled cheese and this is what you show me. i mean obviously jeff chose kindness and let him out eventually but jesus. i’d probably kill myself afterwards out of disgust. survivability 7/10 (considering the suicide probability) but i would never eat meat again. as jeff i’m letting him out way quicker, having a little bit of a hard time putting my hand in the goop, but ultimately escaping with both of our lives. survivability 10/10.

the rack - OW! OW! OW! jesus FUCK! they are not playing with these nasty ass traps! i would not survive this. what the fuck. my head and limbs are so getting ripped off. fuck my stupid life. 0/10 survivability. as jeff i’m fine. lickety spit i’m pulling the key off with my head far out of the way. 9/10 survivability (just in case i somehow fumble and get shot.)

eric matthews bathroom trap - yeah he seemed to have an easy enough time of it and i’m way smarter than him. it was clearly way easier than the initial bathroom trap. and i wouldn’t beat up amanda or be a cunt about all of it because i’m niceys, so therefore she wouldn’t kick my stump leg and leave me to die. 8/10 survivability.

jeff’s final test: i’m nice so i would not kill him and thus would not be trapped to die. i would leave and call the police so they would arrest him. i’m not stupid. survivability 10/10.

overall film survivability considering 9 traps (but 12 individual people’s chances when put through said traps) 7.5/10. nasty ass movie and nasty ass traps but i’m built different.

[cmkren]

Light ‘Em Up, Buttercup.

Chishiya Shuntaro x Gn! Reader;

Chishiya always gave you little DIY trinkets, though you were perplexed, you accepted them. Cherished them. Today, you seemed upset. It also happened that today, he finally wanted to tell you how he felt. How he could feel a storm brewing amongst this false paradise that was The Beach, and how he wanted to tell you before he could lose you to this place and its madness. Tell you that he, Chishiya Shuntaro, loved you with all his being.

a/n; no warnings really needed! Some fluff (chishiya’s a real lover boy in this one), awkward chishiya cause that man has no rizz you cant tell me otherwise,,, oh n’ niragi’s mentioned a little, a lil cheesy but bare w me 💔

The first time he gifted you something, it was just about a month into knowing Chishiya. He hadn’t known it then, but about then was where the sparks of a flame were slowly being ignited. A flame that he couldn’t put out, as much as he tried to force it down his stomach.

As much as he tried to smother it with the lid of reality— that this utopia they lived in was nothing but a farce.

All of the Beach’s residents never seemed to realize it, well except for a handful. Most were the executives though, or people Chishiya spoke to directly. Like Kuina. But you, you were one of the exceptions. That’s what he found refreshing about you, someone who didn’t run from reality— as crude as it was. That was what he liked about you.

It was why he liked you.

The first thing he’d given to you was a shiv, a crudely crafted blade that had its own little sheath he, too, created. His background gave him steady hands, it was no hassle to sew together some scrap pieces of leather together to create a hold for the pocket-sized weapon. Sure it wasn’t the best weapon in terms of effectiveness, but he had hoped that someday it would come in handy.

To say that he had a part in your survival, it gave him a sense of security and comfortability. Along with a smidgen of pride.

The idea to give you a shiv had popped into his head when he saw the way Niragi looked at you. He’d just been strolling by, but he saw the way his brow raised in interest, the slight purse of his lips that quirked up into a bit of a smile. No matter what had crossed through his mind at that moment, Chishiya didn’t care.

The fact that you caught Niragi’s eye was all that he needed to feel the frown creep up on his face. Of course, before anyone could give anything a second thought he managed to distract him and his prying eyes.

But both of them weren’t dumb.

Something had happened just there. Something neither men could wrap their heads around— mainly Chishiya. Niragi now knew you were of some importance to the smug bastard, and Chishiya couldn’t figure out why he cared. Him, who only ever cared about himself, doing something out of his way to help someone out. Even though he probably just worsened the chance of guaranteed safety for you.

The day right after that, Chishiya approached you with the same nonchalance he did daily. But today, he pulled something out of his pocket that surprised you.

“For you. Protect yourself, don’t be careless and die here. It’d be a rather pathetic death, dying out here than in a game that was purposefully designed to kill you.” For many, being spoken to like that would probably be off-putting. Maybe a little bit offensive. But you had just let out an airy chuckle, your uncertainty showing through your laugh.

“How charming.” Was what you said, taking the unknown object into the palm of your hand.

Seeing as you seemed a little confused, he piped up again, looking down at the sheathed shiv then at you, “it fits in your pocket— it’s a makeshift blade. I made it. Don’t say I never did anything for you—”

“Thank you.”

He stared at you for a moment, seeing the small smile on your face. It was one that found some amusement in this display of… well, he wasn’t sure what it was. All he knew was that, with the way you looked at him, he felt this fluttering in his stomach. Perhaps he ate something wrong not too long ago.

That must have been… weeks ago now. Every week he came up with something new to gift you. Not all of them were shabby trinkets he created himself, like for example once he gave you a lighter. Where he gets these things, no one knows. But him, of course.

Though as weeks dwindled and passed by, he knew it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan.

He already had his plan mapped out, the only person he trusted to work in this was Kuina. Why not you? Because for the slightest chance they might fuck up, he didn’t want you caught in the crossfire.

After a hectic day, he found his way to you. Ever since he figured out how to make bombs, he thought, why can’t he make something with the same technology to make you happy? Or at least, to provide a show. He even figured out a way to get them coloured. Of course, he didn’t have enough materials or knowledge to go beyond that but he thought he refined his craft pretty well.

So when he tried to find you, and you weren’t in your usual spots, he felt a pit forming in his stomach.

He didn’t dare call out your name, only searching for you in quiet. Had you finally been taken? Or… did you not come back from a game? Was this Niragi’s doing? Who would be out to get you?—

“Chishiya.”

His head whipped around, pieces of hair briefly flying into his face. He staggered a little, just a bit out of breath from his frantic searching. Right. Here on the roof top, a place he had personally introduced you to. A place where no one knew you could go.

In an attempt to regain his composure, he let out a little cough. “You— why are you up here?” He spoke out, brows furrowing just a little at his own words that sounded a little colder than he meant them to be.

An amused scoff left you, as you approached him, the moonlight and dim lights of the rooftop being the only light source, “I needed the fresh air.” You breathed out, a somber look on your face. At the moment, he figured it out. You must know it too, a mutual understanding you both have.

How this place had reached its due date.

He’d never been the one for distractions. To wallow in your own self pity and pretending that something wasn’t there when it clearly was. But for you, he’d indulge just a little.

“I kept up with my weekly quota, as promised,” a promise he created himself. Out of his pockets, each of his hands pulled out two dynamite looking sticks. Thin enough to be sandwiched between his fingers. “Fireworks, impressive, right?” He spoke with just a bit of smugness to his tone. That wasn’t really a question he needed answering to. Either way, whatever your answer would’ve been it didn’t matter.

The way your eyes lit up as you let out an audible gasp, already fiddling with your pockets for (presumably) your lighter was enough of an answer for him.

“You’re amazing! I mean— first the bombs and now fireworks? What can’t you do? Oh my god, you should totally make me a little robot thing—” as you blabbered, he already made his way to place the fireworks a good distance away from where they’d plan to sit and watch. A little bit of a smile on his face.

When everything got set up, he gestured towards the fireworks. “What are you waiting for? Don’t tell me you’re scare—”

Tsssssss.

A boisterous laugh escaped you as you immediately grabbed him by his arm, having gone out of the way to light them up as he was in the middle of taunting you.

What did this remind him of?

This reminded him of those cheesy romance dramas, the moment where the main characters confessed their love under the fireworks. While he never understood that, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. The happy look in your eye, the way you held his arm, how you reminded him of him just a little but be on an entirely different plane from him as well.

As the first firework set off, he saw how your turned around and he could see the bright light cascade over the glimmer of your eyes. How the light in your eyes shone brighter than any firework he could manufacture.

At that moment, for the first time in his time being in this twisted land, he didn’t think. “I love you.” He whispered out, not even paying attention to the light show as he watched how your expression shifted. How your eyes met his in that moment, the way your expression went from amazement to surprise.

Maybe it was too quick to say something like that. But in this lawless land, what did he gain from holding onto every little thing he wanted to say and do?

Over the loud booming of the fireworks, he tried to speak as much as he could. Saying that he wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling, or how it even happened, but all he knew was that he fell. Hard. And that he wanted nothing but to see you alive— protect you even though deep down, he knew you were capable on your own.

You couldn’t even hear him. How were you supposed to, with those fireworks? But he still kept speaking. With tears in your eyes, you could only let out a choked laugh as you cupped his face with your hands and pulled him into a kiss.

“Oh shut up, just for once.” You laughed, briefly separating to only pull him back in again.

He could only think about how soft you felt against him, your warm hands creating this sorts of contrast against his cold skin. Was this really love? He didn’t know. But one thing he did know for certain, as he finally planted his hands on your hips;

like those fireworks, you lit up his night sky.

[lifeinthegladhouse]

the unfortunate news was given that my dad's chemo probably isn't working so he "might" have to do 30 day "isolation chemo" (?) which sounds horrible and scary. I want to visit him then if so... I don't want him to be alone for 30 days. I'm terrified he will be abusive to me.

when my mother died, she couldn't hurt me, even though I was terrified to see her. seeing her helpless body waste away from cancer was traumatizing but also released any fear I ever had of her, even though the memory of her abuse will always live in me.

my dad was not abusive like she was but sometimes i think he is worse for ever enabling her to be around me, ever choosing to "raise" a kid with her, comparatively, she had much less choice in her actions than he did.

i dont know what it means or if it will help. i didnt think these chemo rounds would help... i never thought my dad would get better... but hearing the advancing news doesn't help.

especially after watching someone's long term dying lead to hospice and then death and how irreverently it was handled, in this household (my partner's grandmother).

my dad will lose whatever hair he has left and im sure will look unrecognizable in a way.

whatever anger or apathy i have to combat my sense of obligation that shouldnt even really exist... i feel for him. im scared for him. i dont want him to suffer, and i dont know if it's worth going through.

i dont want to sway his decision, im positive he will die from this either way. i dont want to lose time with him, but ive already lost time. he's had 30 years to fix this and he hasnt...

i dont know if i can physically handle the grief of seeing him this way.

he always sounds livelier over the phone than he is, but... he didn't watch his parents die this way.

i will lose both of my parents to horrible forms of cancer (i mean, they're all horrible). at least Gene froze to death and it shocked everyone and he didn't suffer.

we've been iced in for a week here in p0rtland, and i got money back that i "owed" to unemployment when gene died. it felt like, after 3 years, he was helping me,... of all times to get the money back now... itll help me move out of my in laws... but a horrible thought happened... what if it's because my dad is going to go sooner than we thought?

i cant decide, anyways, and ocd is a bitch.

my back is killing me from days of making music and trying to learn mixing and mastering and animation and editing just for the fuck of it to stay sane, entirely diy.

today i cant focus, anymore... im listening to david bowie and crying alone and listening to my stupid in laws talking in the kitchen. i cant mourn here because this is a house of narcissism and enabling. hell, someone DIED in THEIR family and THEY wont/cant even mourn.

if my dad doesnt take the chemo, he will continue to failingly rely on his weekly (or more) blood transfusions. and eventually, he will die. maybe he will choose that to spare himself, and in a way, i almost wish he would, but i cant say i really wish that, ... i wish he was a better father, i wish he didnt have cancer even if he is 73, i dont wish him a sudden death bc itd be jarring but a long way is almost worse. i dont know what i want. i wish he couldve ever cared for me so that i could care for him. but what happened is he didnt care for me, and i care, but i cant care FOR him. i cant fix this. i cant love or unlove or hurt or unhurt it away.

when he dies i will not have any family left.

and then some part of me will be released from this burden of grieving a family that was always "dead" to me, but now, permanently, which will just feel fucked up.

ive spent 3 years grieving mom and gene. then i will grieve him too. when will it fucking end

in spite of this i have to work hard to perservere bc its what gene would want. its what my dad would want even tho fuck what he wants. its what *i* would want if i was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow myself or in 40 years. im terrified.

im tired.

im so goddamn tired

[temperanceofsleep]

DIY or DIE

Like many, I was a teenager when i first heard of "DIY." I was just entering into my local punk scene and the buzzwords surrounding me were "DIY, anti-fascist" and, of course, "house show." I grew up extremely poor so I had already become accustomed to doing many things myself and being frugal as well as crafty- so learning about an entire movement/philosophy based on being self sufficient was really monumental for me. Since then I have held the practice very close to my heart, in mostly everything i do in life. I could always do MORE but i think starting anywhere and doing anything on your own is really important to dismantling the corrupt and broken society we live in where we are slaves to capitalism. Repairing small electronics and clothing, making your own hygiene and beauty products, re-using and repurposing items, learning to cook from scratch, growing your own garden or learning how to forage... all of these are simple things you can learn and add into your arsenal of survival skills. Anything i do or purchase i always ask if it's something i can do myself or make cheaper by modifying it myself. I live at the top of a hill in the woods so I've gotten used to sorting out necessities versus luxuries. I believe we can move into a world where both can exist, but luxury would be for the sake of soul happiness as opposed to monetary growth for some other entity. My music has always been one of my strictest avenues as far as my DIY mentality goes. Often I have sacrificed what others would probably consider 'quality' for the sake of remaining independent, underground, and completely self produced and financed. The few times i have ever worked with others or got involved with indie labels it was a disaster- usually amplifying the misogynistic undertones of the music industry as a whole. I hated the idea of buying tons of fancy equipment to fake what everything really sounded like. My early music was recorded on a shitty gaming microphone and there was always an annoying hiss in the background, but it was RAW and REAL so i loved it. When it finally broke I invested in a nicer microphone, and over the years ive added a few important pieces of recording equipment. I taught myself how to use simple recording software and how to play all of the instruments I own because i was sick of being the singer in other bands, like a little doll doing what i was told. I eventually taught myself how to edit videos, although it is my least favorite thing to do honestly. I make a lot of my own costumes and freeze to death dancing in the ocean just for the dreams in my head to be real. I refuse to have anyone else put their fingers on my visions, even if that means they aren't as perfected as i wish they could be. That's the point. Nothing is or can be perfect. I truly appreciate your time if you read the stuff i write or listen to my music or watch my videos or like the visuals i share- know that it comes directly from my bleeding hands with reverence at even being able to make these things and then share them with you. Know that there isn't anything you cant do- the limitations we face in life are sometimes able to be surpassed and you might just surprise yourself. You dont need anyone's support or approval but your own. I believe in you. XoXo

[creepypastashavecomittedtaxfraud]

Can we please have some Toby x Jeff or Nina x Jeff head canons? ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

YES YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN. you have EXCELLENT taste these 2 ships r some of my favorites

Ticci toby x Jeff the killer

While most of the major injury is handled by ej, or in extreme cases slenderman himself, tending to each other wounds is a sort of tender bonding thing for the both of them

gently cleaning and bandaging a cut or picking glass out of each other or doing some very small stitching for each other after a tough job is part of their typical routine now . they mostly do this while sitting together quietly, just as a de-stress thing. its actually very nice yknow. having someone you love take care of you . and after its taken care of, giving it a kiss to make it feel better…

jeff kind of gets on tobys case for no caring if he gets injured. i mean he cant feel it anyway so he doesn’t give a fuck, but jeff does . and toby calls him out for being a hypocrite, because he’s not exactly the most careful person either. they both get mad and kiss each other about it 

toby is usually known to be more…friendly? normal? than the others. more upbeat. but being with jeff brings out his bitchy cruel side . he’s still not as bad ! but he definitely has this sarcastic mean bite to him now. when they team up to get on someones case theyre pretty much insufferable LOL, but they love it . real teamwork .

they sit outside at night and talk to each other about whatever. from a distance it doesn’t even look that romantic. tobys probably carving a stick into a sharp point, jeffs smoking his lungs out, or sharpening one of his knives. theyre both sipping from the same bottle of stolen beer, but theres something very calm about them you don’t really see from either any other time. it feels toned down . no harsh words other than the occasional biting joke , always said with a smile followed by them both laughing of course, maybe one of them grabs the others shoulder for emphasis on something they said and it lingers there for a few seconds longer. 

They talk about work, sometimes jeff will pull up his sleeve and show off a new particularly gnarly scar to toby, and you can just see him soak up the attention . toby will do the same sometimes, but his never seem to get as messed up looking. he talks about masky and hoody and the things he sees out in the human world, as he’s sometimes sent out on day jobs, and jeff only ever steps out at night. about what it’s like up there during the day. 

theres a lot of moments of stretched out silence. it feels very nice. very calm and friendly and natural . then they both lay down in the grass and maybe….hold hands. or lean over and kiss a little …or a lot

theyre both pretty highly respected as guys who are good at their jobs in their own way . they go on jobs together Sometimes, but they tend to fight over who gets the actual final kill on a place . jeff is a lot more brutal and show-y with it, and tobys more of a ‘just get the job done’ guy. they both…admire each others work and technique. both are a little shy about admitting it though  

They both would die protecting the other for sure if they had to, so i guess its good they can both handle themselves pretty well. its nice to have someone ride or die for you like that though, when theyve both felt totally solo for most of their lives.

rough mean beat up boyfriends. theyre both rude bitches love each other and it really shows

Jeff the killer x Nina the killer

Jeff loves his baby so fucking much. he’s absolutely like, her guard dog basically lololol and she absolutely soaks up the protective bad boy boyfriend thing 100% even though she really doesn’t need it 

she’s very cutesy and sweet with him, and is always reeling him back and gently telling him to calm down , which he does…reluctantly, and she really doesn’t mind she just doesn’t want him all worked up all the time even if she does love and appreciate it and everything hehe :)

nina loves to go into demon city and party!!! and jeff goes with her as often as she wants him to, which is most of the time . she drags him around and makes him dance with her . and he keeps weirdos away from her, very forcefully and harshly might i add. every time he scares off some creepy loser she’s all over him being all “oh my sweet protective jeffy baby!!!” giving him kisses and praising him for keeping her safe and you know he loves that :’) 

Theres been a few times she’s gotta a little protective over him as well though . he pretty much shuts down anyone who approaches him with , bad or overtly romantic intentions, but a couple times shes had to pull him away and snap at someone getting a little too friendly. once they get out of there he laughs a bit and pets her head lovingly a little, reassuring her its fine and to not get stressed about it. but yknow, he doesn’t mind being on the receiving end of having a protective s/o once in a while. he kind of likes that his girlfriends got a backbone and a strong spirit like that. theyre both pretty mutually defensive and protective of each other, which happens to work out perfectly for each other!

he’s much more of a “DIY frat house” party guy than a nightclub or private party guy but …he doesn’t mind it that much, and really up for whatever nina wants. besides he loves playing body guard for her . he loves how much she dresses up to go to a party and how pretty she always looks. it makes him kinda blushy hehehehe. she also helps him get ready a lot :)! just wants her boyfriend to look good too, but to her he always looks good. she likes that they both have cut in smiles. its like a matching couple accessory in her eyes. sometimes she outlines hers in red and pink eye shadow and asks to do the same with his, which he msotly agrees to when she asks

theyre both high profile Killer Employees Of Slenderman so theyre always getting attention and special privileges wherever they go in the city they’re a very glamorous almost celebrity-couple type pair . nina loves it so much, it’s everything she’s ever wanted !!!! jeff can’t say he doesn’t like the attention and the constant ego boosting . theyre kind of made for this lifestyle . the scary evil underworld killer version of socialites if you want to think about it that way 

besides that though, theyre still very sweet and cutesy at home, though jeff gives her a little more space. but he definitely doesn’t have to since she follows him around all day at home mostly! shes a bit clingy, but he doesn’t mind at all. he loves having his sweet girl by his side as much as she wants. and she’s always all over him. she likes sitting next to him and holding onto his arm, or brushing his hair and putting little clips in it when she’s bored, or sitting on his lap, or laying on it, or making him sit on her lap, you get the picture

she asks to do his makeup sometimes, and he usually agrees though it’s not normally his thing. he has to admit, he does look pretty good whenever she does !

they both love each other very much and are a very cutesy loving pda couple. he’s so loving and protective with his sweet gentle pretty girlfriend and she absolutely adores her sweet loving and patient boyfriend so much!!

[ayahne]

i can’t write, i say as i write 8 pages on Word

I discussed this simple little idea i had with @adelmortescryche from 2AM to 5AM and now it’s not a little idea. A lot of ideas thrown mostly randomly together on the same fic idea i will never write cause i write baaaad.

I call it : EdRi!!! On Para-Ice

- When Yuuri arrives at Wayne State to major in buisness and become a pro skater, he meets the four people with who he's going to share lodging.

- Ling is his age, he's a Xingian diplomat son that want to keep it low-key, and he's majoring in political science. He's a funny, eccentric kind of guy, and he makes Lan Fan mad.

- Lan Fan is « totally not » his body guard, and she's majoring in chemistry. She's a strange blend of calm and hot-temper. He likes her.

- There's also Phichit, ; he's younger, but so nice and enthusiastic ; he wants to do photography. (he's Thai and doesn't speaks much english, but everyone helps him and stick colored notes cards to everything and he learns quickly).

- And there's Edward Curtis, who is half cyborg, hot tempered, foul mouthed and full of shit and loyalty. He's younger than him, but more advanced than him in his studies. (« He's a genius », explains Lan Fan.) They got on like a house on fire.

- Strangely, even if they're so different from each other, they share the apartment fine. Lan Fan and Ed go run in the mornings, Ling cooks, Yuuri and Phichit go to the ice ring... They fit.

- Ed is a bit hyperactive, and when Lan Fan is too occupied to spar with him, he gotta finds something to do. (« No Ed, you can't punch people in the face. ») He visits Yuuri and Phichit at the ice ring, and he tries a bit of skating ; it's challenging, he likes it.

- Yuuri starts to teach him simple figures : a single-toe-loop, a sit-spin... Ed spend his time falling on his face because the automails are destabilizing him, but he's tired and happy when he masters a new move. From there, you can't stop him. Skating becomes the escape to his problems, and the guilt he feels.

- He comes to every of Yuuri's event to cheer him on ; he manage the panic attacks like it's nobody's buisness, and Yuuri starts to feel more confident. It's great time, they have fun.

- But one day, there's an accident ; the huge score board fall on Yuuri that just finished his routine. They have to amputate his arm.

- Ed has lived this before, and acts quick. He's there through everything, the hospital ride, the hospital stay, the therapy. With the others, he persuades Yuuri to get an automail (« Hey, we match now. ») He never let him wallow in his depression, and he puts him back on his skates with his therapist acceptance.

- They fight, with all the others, through Yuuri's terror of the ice, and slowly, slowly, he finds back his love for the ice ; he starts to skate again, to being confident. Ed does it all with him, he's his crutch. (« I miss two limbs. If i can do it, you can do it better. » And Yuuri does.)

(beware of the cut)

- "dude you can fucking make a quint and fly on the ice " says Yuuri "dont care still jealous" answer Ed, and they laugh and Phichit posts it on instagram

- Yuuri's like, welp, if you can do it, I should at least try and everyone screams NO because he's older than Ed. Except Ed, who's rolling his eyes being like, he could totally do it, he's older than me and just as flexible.

- They're both ULTRA flexible

- Cue Ed teaching Yuuri how to make some of his fighting moves on ice

- Cue Yuuri teaching Ed more quads

- All those EdRi comments. The first few are just fujoshi slobbering over them and their bromance, then someone who actually knows something about skating figures out what they're seeing and they sCREAM.

- And the skating fandom has a meltdown.

- Phichit posting out of context photos, like warming up when they're in weird yoga poses, and it seems a bit more intimate than it is.

- With tags like '#MySmolSonsBeFlexi' '#MustNotLetEdSeeTagsHeWillSlayMe'

- Phichit and all the others being DEADLY TIRED than his frighteningly prodigious friends not getting recognition just because they've got automail.

- Doesn't people realise that automail makes it harder ?

- “It's easier with automail ?” * Ed proceeds to detach his own arm and dump it on the stupid fuck's lap who crumble under the weight. * “Try lifting something that weight more than yourself higher than your head, and even spin with something ressembling grace when you have a brick instead of an arm”.

- Pole dancing class as part of the automail recovery therapy. Yuuri smiles, and he's like, this was totally for medical reasons.

- The ports gets cold and hurt when they're too long in the ice ring, so for when they train Phichit knitted them horrible arm socks (and leg sock for Ed). Knitting is not Phichit forte, and the mitts are ridiculous at best.

- Yuuri's favorite is a kaki monstruosity with purple polka dots, orange stripes, and some brown squiggles that are supposed to be flowers.

- Ed's are one atomic pink with red hearts on it, and a blue one with barely recognisable hamsters.

- The photos of them with it become viral.

- He decides to go back to competing, and he slays the handisport section. He wins all of the gold medals in the juniors, and then in the seniors.

- He's got a new coach ; she's pretty, kind and maternal, attentive to his anxieties and the fact that Ed is basically is contra-phobic object ; she's perfect, and exactly what he needs. Her name is Gracia Hugues.

- For his galas, he always do something with Ed (and either they do funny shit things, either they some mind-numbing show of skills mixing Ed's talents in flying martial arts and Yuuri's adaptability- anyways they're breathtaking)

- There's a fanbase dedied to their bromance, and some people do RPF with them.

- Ed browsing deviantart and diying a little bit (but save the nice, bro, safe ones on his phone.)

- Yuuri reading fanfictions, selecting the crack fics and the AUs to laugh with Ed, Phichit and Lin. (and Lan Fan. She's there, silently laughing)

- They're so much more low key about the bromance than Phichit and Yuuri that people have a lot more opinions about their bromance. And are sure it's a romance.

- Yuuri obviously finds it hilarious.

- Ed and Yuuri doing shit like this on purpose.

- One day on tv, some jackass ask if he doesn't miss his limbs, and Ed answers "thats equivalent exchange" while looking at Yuuri. The shippers goes mad, Yuuri goes awww cause he knows Ed meant it very innocently

- They only pop up in Phichit, Ling, and Yuri social medias because they dont take vids themselves or photos and even less post them

-  One day, there's an hORRIBLE rant made by a dude that says that Ed and Yuuri are lucky to have found the other because who would want any of those disgusting cripples

- and they're a bit hurt but not much because they told themselves the same thing since they got their accidents

- But Phichit sees red. He takes THE photo.

- the one after the showers after practice, where you can see skin, soft scars, glinting metal, muscles and cloth making it SFW, and no comment under it like he use to.

- It broke twitter

- (Yuri totally roasted the guy that DARED insult his idol.)

- Roy Mustang is an ex-man-single prodigy. He was adored by the public. When he retired, he decided he wanted to go into Amestrian politics (ie, the Army).

- He's the one that presented his old buddy from the army, Maes, to Gracia. (people all around the world whined when they announced that it was Maes marrying Gracia and not him.)

- Roy isn't sure if he's happy for both his friends because Maes became 1000% more annoying after meeting Gracia. (That's a lie, he loves them both and is more than happy.)

- When he became a state alchemist, his fans where like “fire alchemy ??? U SURE ?”

- Yuri Plisetesky is a die-hard Yuuri Katsuki fan, and he finds it unfair that

    1. no same sex couple on the ice, and it sucks because those two could do some pretty awesome shit

    2. Ed doesn't compete because not enough money and he don't care much for the competition ; he's there for the fun and for Yuuri

    3. he'd love to skate on the same ice as Yuuri but, eh, handi sections and mainstream ones doesn't mix. He hates the federation so much.

    4. no one knows about the handi athletes apart of Yuri and Otabek (because he whines at him) and he finds it the most irritating thing in the world, it's a TRAVESTY.

- And just, one day, he goes to Yuuri's ice ring, and he watches him, film him for future reference and manage to catch on film a *quad axel*.

- And the regular skaters, they're like "wait what" when they see the video of the first quad axel in history

- "but we don't know that guy"

- and Yuri goes in a screaming rant about how they're all stupid, it's “FUCKING YUURI KATSUKI YOU HEATHENS HOW DARE YOU FORGET HIM HE COULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST RIVAL FOR GOLD IF NOT FOR THAT ACCIDENT HE HAD TO LEAVE MAINSTREAM SKATING AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM?!”

- And one day, Viktor, dense fridge that he is, find irl EdRi doing some figures in a public ice ring. He goes to Yuuri, says something like you skate nice, have you considered going pro, and ed punches him because the dunce doesn’t remember sharing the ice with Yuuri

- "I was too fucking kind i should have decked him with the metal one"

- Yuuri is nrgh between "he punched Viktor" and "am i that forgettable"

- Yuuri's also like Ed No Ed Stahp. While smiling happily because spiteful savage Yuuri. Who doesn't want Victor to get hurt, but he forgot.

- "We said no punching, Ed"

- ”Ed we talked about this.”

- ZE discussion they have all the time ; "Can i punch that dick in the dick" "No u cant"

- And he can only punch people if Yuuri is okay with it because everyone deem that if Yuuri thinks a dude deserve to be punched then he deserves it.

- If Yuuri thinks it's time to punch someone then it's time. Yuuri's everyone's moral compass. Except he isn't a good moral compass, because sometimes he's sassy and spiteful.

- Yuuri with really long hair after he stopped mainstream mens singles.

- First he was too depressed to cut it, then he realized it's easier for the automail. The hair gets stuck less in the joints and if they're long you can take them out easier.

- Phichit doing artistic© photos of tanned light hair Ed and pale dark hair Yuuri and destroying Instagram

- Al and Ed have been apart since they were 8 and 10 and they had the failed transmutation that left Al in a coma for 3 years with nearly no memories of his brother, and Ed without limbs.

- They went to different foster families ; Ed with Izumi and Sig, Al with the Rockbell. And Al doesn't remember Ed much, only what Pinako told him (he loved you more than anything, he was persuaded the accident is his fault)

- Olivia Armstrong is Ed social worker. The whole Briggs team work in social services.

- Ed refusing to search for his bro cause he's sure Al hates him, and, sure, Ed hates himself but not to the point of subjecting himself to that.

- Yuuri comforting him when he has nightmares about it, not saying a thing when Ed cries at night cause he misses Al.

- Phichit  stalking the whole internet to update Ed on how Al is doing.

- Al being so admirative of E.Curtis works in "Alchemy Actual". Pinako wince in the background.

- Al finds it hard to connect E. Curtis to his brother because E. Curtis is notoriously secretive. No one knows anything about him.

- Al doesn't watch ice-skating, and isn't much a fan of phichit-chu. And no matter how many times he falls on a video of Edward C. he can't connect either of them to his brother. Pinako's starting to wonder if he's ever going to realise Ed-on-screen and Ed-the-alchemist is Ed his brother. She shighs in exasperation and wonder why he's so dense.

- May being Ling's pint sized badass little sister (one of many but his favorite even if loves giving her shit)

- May is irritating and wonderful and god he wishes he could introduce her to Al.

- May find Al by herself and is like “... most beautiful boy i've ever seen in my entire life omg”

- She posts photo of her and him on insta, and Phichit send them to Ed, he becomes crazy.

- Al being in a perpetual state of “Wait what” concerning her.

- “Beautiful girl came out of no where to talk to me and flirt with me and take pictures with me what'

- She starts talking alkahestry and suddenly he doesn't register her pretty face anymore she's clever who cares about pretty I can talk about alchemy with her !!!

- May finds him adorable

- Cue budding romance while their big brothers are having aneurisms on the side. Yuuri, Phichit and Lan Fan finds it hilarious.

- And at LEAST Ling can interact with his sister and NOW AL but ED REFUSES and he is sad and frustrated so he goes skating cause he has too much energy and "you can't punch people for the lolz Ed"

- Yuuri just sighs and pats him on the back while Ed screams at the sky and goes throwing quads all over the place.

- So frustrated he tries a quint toe loop, but "not a quad axel, i'm stupid but not dumb, only quadsuki can do that"

- Ed having super nice automail that Yuuri offered him with the skating money ("look, we match !", he says, a twinkle in his eyes, echoeing what Ed told him a few years ago.)

- Since Ed doesn't want to see the Rockbell and has a « 0 interaction » policy, Yuuri found that guy that lives in a remote part of Australia that does incredible machinery. They go once a year with the gang.

- Ed considering himself « toxic » to those he loves. Lan Fan decked him in the gut, Ling rolled his eyes so hard it had to be inscribed in a book of records, and Phichit insulted him in Thai. He tried this bullshit with Yuuri exactly once and never did it again.

- Mari straight up hit him with a pan. She reminds Ed of Izumi.("My foster mom hits me with her pan, too.")

- Following that sentence, people start to be suspicious about his foster mom, until they figure out Izumi and Ed love each other. Their love is just... violently displayed. And filled with martial art montages.

- Izumi and Sig already have a biological son when they adopt Ed. Aoi is totaly enamored with his « big brother »

- They adopted another child, a little girl named Nina. Her dad tried to kill her, and as of such she's sick. Her and Al are the reason he started studying organic alchemy in more depth.

- Envy is Ed biological punk rock but so nice older half-brother. He's androgynous and loves confusing people. ("Are you a girl or a boy ?" "no.")

- Envy avoids Al cause he feels guilty too. He felt he shoud have been there for his two lil bro, no matter how angry with their dad he was.

- When Ed and Envy gloom together, Lin/Phichit/Yuuri/Lan Fan comes to hit them and like "no we love you yes we said love shut up, up, we going petting rabbits"

- Hiroko, Izumi and Minako being BFFs and drinking together. It terrifies everyone. They comiserate about their spawns.

- Izumi's kid is in awe of Mari (as he should)

- EdxAngst + Yuuri/coming-to-terms-with-his-anxiety

- "Where did your... special style of skating came from, Mister Curtis ? *behind, a video extract where Ed is doing a double backflip on the ice, before launching into some capoara moves while Yuuri smiles and just cartwheels for the lolz*"

- Roy calling Ed “a backflipping maniac”

- Cuts to Ed doing a triple back flip and a single hand cartwheel or something right after. Just to see the expression on Roy's face.

- Roy having ten cardiac arrest a day. Riza laugh in the distance. (She laughs at his pain all the time)

- "Curtis, when your in an ice ring you spend more time in the air than on the ice, it's not natural"

- One of Phichit most liked photos is one of Yuuri and Ed twirling Elicia around

- Even if Ed isn't an official competitor, he has die hard fans, that calls themselves « Ed's Homunculi », and they're led by 5 people that nicknamed themselves with the primary sins.

- Yuuri snickers at just their mention. Ed complains all the time. (« NO FUCK LET ME GO IM NOT EVEN A PRO DONT PuT YOUR BOOBS IN MY FACE DONT EAT MY HAIR WTF. Why are you all so DISTURBING »)

- Envy founded the fanclub because he finds this deadly funny, now he’s mostly in charge of the social medias.  Ed is horrified.

- Scar is married to Lust and follows her everywhere, to every competition sighing all the time.

- THE PRESIDENT OF HIS FANCLUB IS THE FUCKING FURHER OF AMESTRIS

- The idea of Amestris’s Furher being enamored enough with Ed's skating to give himself a stupid nickname kills all of his friends of laughter inside

- Aerugo is near greece

- Xing is in east asia

- Creta is near italia

- Drachma is between finland and sweden

- Amestris between germany and poland, and Ishval between poland and Austria

- Father couldn't arrange another full country array, and eventually decided to let it go.

- Envy's real name is Nichola Elric

- Lust is Veda Campos

- Wrath is King Bradley

- Pride is still Selim Bradley

- Gluttony is named Emilio Abatucci

- Scar is Luca Campos

- Izumi’s kid is named Aoi Curtis

[lincolnlooker-blues]

70 Questions!

Tagged by @csz4ever​ (thanks gurl! love you :*) Tagging whoever reads through all of these questions lol

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? yyyyyyyyyes, though of course, its not exactly picture perfect

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? Myyyyyyy dad

3. do you regret anything? yes

4. are you insecure? Yup, but im working on it (fake it till you MAKE IT amirite)

5. what is your relationship status? Single

6. how do you want to die? Geez, that’s a heavy question, uuuuuuh im not particular about how i die?? (please let it be painless lol)

7. what did you last eat? potatoes and eggs with two pieces of toast

8. played any sports? besides soccer in recess when i was in elementary? no, tho i wanted to get into tennis for a while

9. do you bite your nails? No, but i bite the skin around it

10. when was your last physical fight? i dont think i’ve ever been in a physical fight fight tbh

11. do you like someone? uuuuhhhh, im assuming this iiiiiis PLATONICALLY LIKING SOMEONE, in that case yes, i like all my friends

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? lol no, i really need my sleep

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? you’d think but no, who has the energy for that? let’s be honest

14. do you miss someone? my older sister

15. have any pets? yes, two dogs and two birds (and 8 cats if you want to count the strays we feed, i mean they basically live here so)

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? Pretty okay, thanks for asking

17. ever made out in the bathroom? Nope

18. are you scared of spiders? not enough to be considered a phobia but i will kill one if i see it in the house, and scream while doing so

19. would you go back in time if given the chance? No. Whatever happened happened, i like looking forward (though it doesn’t stop me from having regrets.....)

20. last place you made out with someone? the last and ONLY place i made out with someone was at the livestock show (lmao it was so gross tbh, and my boyfriend after that never made out with me so fuck)

21. what are your plans for this weekend? movies on thursday whaaat!

22. do you want kids? how many? *avoids question cuz i hear that question enough from my mom*

23. do you have piercings? how many? Just on the usual on the ears

24. what is/are your best subjects? English

25. do you miss anyone from your past? no. I dont want to miss someone who doesn’t miss me

26. what are you craving rn? corn bread

27. have you ever broken someones heart? I don’t think his heart was broken, he was just sad about it

28. have you ever been cheated on? Nope

29. have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Not that im aware of lol

30. whats irritating rn? People hating on people who have literally done NOTHING to them or anyone else, the partiarchy, pretty sure society as a whole

31. does someone love you? *vine voice* yeah i sure hope someone does (but seriously, yeah)

32. what is your favorite color? blue, purple, yellow, pastel pink, grey, light tan, dark brown, orange

33. do you have trust issues? nnnnoooooot okay maybe a little bit

34. who/what was your last dream about? i remembered this morning, but now that im trying to remember, i cant anymore

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom lol

36. do you give out second chances too easily? I used to, now i just tell them to fuck off

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? Forget, but it should be forgive

38. is this year the best year of your life? So far? I think it is

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? 15

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? lol nope

(didnt supply me with 41-50 welp)

51. favorite food? yes *lies, im a picky eater but i love food too so, fuck*

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes

53. what was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? thought about something i’ve been trying to see about myself (i think im something but im really not sure so its been on my mind lately)

54. is cheating ever okay? uh, school wise or relationship wise? cuz they’re both NO. Be a good student and be a faithful lover

55. are you mean? I try not to be, cuz who has the energy for that, but if someone really is pushing it, i’m gonna be mean

56. have you ever been in a fist fight? Nope

57. do you believe in true love? in a way

58. favorite weather? oh you dont want to get me started, i have a lot of favorite types of weather

59. do you like the snow? I finally saw snow in person when i went to chicago for the first time to visit my sister, and the snow was MAGICAL, so the answer is yes (but it is a pain sometiimes)

60. do you wanna get married? Don’t know, i’ll get back to you on that lol

61. is it cute when a girl/boy calls you baby? I prefer babe tbh, but yeah, i think its pretty cute (okay but if someone calls me baby girl, i will melt)

62. what makes you happy? my friends, music, diy stuff, really pretty smelling body washes, food, pretty tattoos, vintage jewelry, rain, pretty socks, all the hugs, all kinds of kisses (especially cheek kisses and kisses on the temple), well written stories/fanfics, seeing people truly in love, seeing my loved ones happy, cute animals, fluffy pillows, a very windy day, really good food

65. your bff of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? iiiiii dont know? lmao

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yes

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my dad lmao

68. who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? one of my besties

69. do you believe in soulmates? not really, but im such a sucker for soulmate aus

70. is there anyone you’d die for? Yup