#diy gone wrong

[shewantsitall]

I was trying to be more sustainable and also save a bit of money by dyeing a dress I wore once in a wedding last year and then having it altered by a friend's mom to wear for graduation... I burned it in the dyeing process... graduation is Saturday...I have to find a dress between now and Saturday. Help.

[mbrainspaz]

I'm not usually a cover up bad smells girlie--I like to find the source of the bad smell and clean it--but I can't exactly fix the fucked up landlord special plumbing in my rental shed so for now it's candles and hoping nothing explodes.

[0verseer-o9]

TW: CARTOON GORE +NUDITY??

the flesh that holds me back

[casa-domeupai]

Main bedroom update 2; Parquet Hibernation Tactics

Check out my post on what I've decided to do with the old parquet floor in my house!

Step into my home, where every room tells a story – a story of well, a parquet floor that’s seen better days. Yet another not-so-picture-perfect side of my home improvement saga. Let’s talk about this parquet floor – the one that, at first glance, might seem like a symphony of squares and brightness. But, and this is a big ‘but,’ I’ve got a confession to make. Brace yourself because, despite the…

[ageplay-may]

It’s Arts and Crafts day in class!

Did we have an oops? The sugar prompt is "Arts and Crafts (Gone Wrong)"!

Did we do something right? Spice is "Arts and Crafts (Gone Sexy)"!

---

Prompts || Ao3 Collection

Tags: @ageplay-may || #agepl4y may 2023

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

world's most effective anti-smoking PSA

man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.

woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.

book makes multiple people fall off chair.

man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.

worm sti.

there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.

fuck this tree

well at least ted bundy was a great father :)

i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds

bitches be dying. you're next.

we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.

sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.

Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)

hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.

man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered

man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.

this guy sucks at DIY home improvement

aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!

oh fuck nevermind

THE SKY ATE MY SON.

the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.

man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)

my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies

sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.

tall squiggly and HANDsome

old man arm wrestles demon through door knob

the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech

immortality but at what cost

working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian

i go to america and get almost killed by a furry

well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)

antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.

bone apple teeth

remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.

babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away

man fucks around and it costs him everything

HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE

oh god oh fuck the worms are here

thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.

the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.

🎸music makes me loose control🎸

spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party

child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.

these mosquitoes are mad sus

man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.

realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.

both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation

guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.

man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.

Something Big Is In The Water.

what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)

i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever

everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals

hmmgh. ant house.

so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.

the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues

🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)

maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.

your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT

Part 2

[canyonmooncreations]

Normalcy on a tough day with neighbor Simon

Simon moved in almost a year ago. Since then you’ve become friends, nothing more. Coffee here and there, shared meals, neighborly help with some DIY projects. It’s become familiar sense of comfort and consistency for the both of you.

Simon relishes in the domestic sound of your cabinets closing, footsteps throughout the day, and just the normalcy of your life. His concerns begins when he hears the lack of.

It’s been a day. One of those days where the solitude eats away at your heart and mind. One of those days where it feels pointless to keep going.

You get home from work thankful it’s the weekend. Your footsteps fall silent as your head straight to bed not even bothering with changing or dinner.

Simon is confused when he doesn’t hear the air fryer or the microwave. There’s no water running or closet closing. Your footsteps are gone as soon as they arrive, fallen short at your bedroom. There’s no FaceTime call to your friend you talk to daily. There’s no sound of your comfort show. There’s just silence.

You toss and turn over and over. The thoughts just don’t stop. You can’t help but let the tears fall. Your silent tears soon turn to sobs. You just can’t stop it.

Your missing footsteps are replaced with the sound of Simon’s as he paces his apartment. He knows something is wrong, he can hear something is wrong. But what’s he to do? Are you close enough for him to come knocking on your door? He thinks so. But what if you just want to be alone? What if you..

Before he can finish the thought, he’s at your door. He can’t just sit here and listen to you sob. You, someone he cares about so much. Someone who’s slowly wormed their way into his heart.

It’s a sight when you finally open the door. Work clothes a mess, makeup smeared, and face puffy.

No words are exchanged as you melt into his arms. His warmth inviting you to just let it all out. He carries you to the couch and sits with you in his arms. It goes on for a bit, you crying and him just holding you.

He eventually coaxes you into the bathroom, sitting you on the counter. He helps you change into your comfy clothes and wipes away today’s makeup. All the while his hands never leave you, his touch grounding you to reality. Showing you, you aren’t alone no matter how alone you feel.

He carries you gently to the bedroom and tucks you in.

All the normalcy you both crave, he created. He ran the air fryer, he washed up the dishes, and he turned on your comfort show.

He joins you in bed with your comfort food and holds both of your plates. You lean into his side as you both sit in silence enjoying your show.

After eating, you’ve wormed your way into his warmth again. Both of you falling asleep to the sound of the others jagged heartbeat.

That’s what you’ve grown to love about Simon. There doesn’t have to be all this talking and explaining. Just grounding touch and domestic normalcy.

Omg what? Another self indulgent depressing fic? Whoooooo wrote this???

[cherie-doll]

Could you do like a scenecore reader that also dyes their hair? and cod men? Like dunno giving them a handmade bracelet I dunno? *pokes my fingers together*

-🪒(Reserving a Anon cause i'll be back!)

hii 🪒 anon!! glad you're reserving! and if anyone else wants to do the same then feel free to do so :D

ミ☆ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Scenecore!Reader x COD Men

★ Price...

sometimes when he comes home he'll find you in the bathroom dying your hair, he loves seeing you do fun stuff with your hair and will even run to buy more box dye incase you run out or you got the wrong color (which happens often)

there's a hc that he was prob a punk or some sort of alternative when he was a teen so he's familiar with you customizing and diying your stuff

he also never thought to be into the scene subculture but he can't help but smile when you leave a handmade kandi bracelet for him, even if it looks a little out of place for him to wear, he doesn't care

he will put that on his wrist and wear it around like he wears his ring

★ Ghost...

it's funny when walking around together in public with the tall intimidating guy who's always wearing a face covering and dark clothing and then there's you, the bright clothes, the dyed and teased hair, arms covered in kandi bracelets looking like a rainbow vomited on you

they should really see your house... his side of the closet is almost the same outfits just different shades of dark colors and your side has possibly every color ever made

still, if people looked close enough they would be able to see the bracelet you made for him that just barely peeks out from underneath the sleeve of his jacket along with some jelly bracelets

people often assume Simon is some former goth dating the scene/scenecore

★ Soap...

you wonder why you ran out of dye so quickly when you need it, you had bought a couple new boxes of hair dye only to find them gone when you needed them, when you see Johnny it all makes sense; he had attempted dying his own hair

according to him he wanted to try wearing your hair extensions first but quickly realized they wouldn't stay in, you can't help but laugh at how his hair turned out, the front looks kinda good it actually surprises you, the back however...

when at a store he's actually the one hyping you up when you find something you could use to incorporate it into your look, he buys whatever for you and loves wearing matching kandi bracelets with you

his whole forearm will be covered in kandi and jelly bracelets he doesn't care he loves it!

★ Gaz...

he knows where you are in a store by the ton of jewelry you wear with charms and beads, or you might accidentally drop a bracelet or lose an earring leaving a trail he can follow to find you

ofc he knows to find you either in a thrift shop, in the jewelry section or where the box dye is at, he's quick to offer to buy anything you might want

he knows how much you love experimenting with your hair, maybe you like adding animal prints in your hair :D

in the car he likes to put your playlist on that will have you both vibing together throughout the entire car trip, poor soul to whoever is travelling with you tho

★ Roach...

loves wearing anything you gift him, especially if you customized it or made it yourself, he wants to feel included, often times when you're touching up on your hair or dying it again he'll sit in the bathroom with you

sometimes it takes a long time dying your hair, especially if you like to do prints on your hair because you're tired of your extensions falling out all the time :(

and the entire time he's sitting there keeping you company looking at you like this :D

he even helps you pick out which color you should do next when you can't decide!

he gets all giddy when you sit down and make kandi bracelets together <3 and then gift him the one you made and he gives you the one he made, so now you're wearing bracelets the other made!

★ Alejandro...

your style was definitely something new to him, due to the great war of emos vs punks in '08 in Mexico he assumed you were what he described a 'colorful emo', until you corrected him

he really likes it actually, he's seen how you manage to coordinate your outfits and even cut, dye and style your own hair, talk about being resourceful!

when your hair is freshly dyed, you'll wash it and go to sleep with it slightly damp, the next morning you wake up to find your pillow stained, it used to scare him real bad when you had it dyed red and he assumed the stain on the pillow was blood

★ Rudy...

he loves learning about what you're into, your interests are now his!!

he's also tried styling you before and he actually managed to do a pretty good job! you asked him how he did it and he mentioned he's seen you coordinate your outfits and so he was able to pick up off that

on his days off, he loves spending them with you and taking you to all the stores that have deals on their bundles so you can get a ton or new hair clips and silly accessories you end up trying on Rudy only to take a 0.5 pic of

and vice versa ^^ he loves taking pics of you in your outfits, in fact, on his phone lock screen he has you with your best outfit yet posing as his wallpaper, just to be smug he likes leaving his phone face up on the table just so that he can see that picture of you when a message lights up his screen

★ Phillip Graves...

won't ever ask you to "tone it down", it's your style and he thinks you should proudly wear it, you look unique and he personally loves it

he will definitely glare at anyone who scoffs or says a rude remark about you, especially if the area you live in is known to be more conservative, he loves seeing the look on people's faces when they see you walk past

sometimes his shadows like to tease him when they notice him wearing the bracelet you made for him, they keep saying it looks like some little kid made it but he quickly states that you made it for him

i can just imagine the whiplash when his playlist goes from his average dad rock/country music to your liked songs invading his phone when on shuffle, he might bop to it tho but won't ever admit it

★ Makarov...

he's told you multiple times he can just take you to get your hair professionally done, there is no need for you to buy cheap box dye for your hair but you like it better this way

this way you can add your own unique and personal touch to it that you love, and no professional hairstylist will be able to do it how you like it, he gives in and stops insisting after you remind him that every time

but he definitely loves your creative diy and style, he just wanted to make sure you weren't staining the bathroom towels with your box dye because you were too shy to ask him to take you to the hair salon but that's not the case :)

and he treasures the bracelets you gift him more than he does the expensive watches and jewelry he buys for himself

★ Keegan...

yk how kandi bracelets can say crazy stuff on them sometimes?

yeah so, the first time he noticed your bracelets and read some of the words you've arranged on there he was flabbergasted to say the least

you put diabolical phrases on his kandi bracelets when you make some for him, and when you put them on for him you make sure the words are upside down so HE doesn't notice it but the person who's in front of him will if they glance at it

it isn't until later when he takes them off that he notices they have sexual phrases, your favorite one for him to wear is one that says "suck me off"

★ König...

it took him a while to understand your texting whenever he peeked at your laptop when you left it open, he didn't really consider himself to be behind on trends until now even if it wasn't anything new but it was to him

he also doesn't know what half the references the words on your kandi bracelets mean either but he rolls with it anyways, you've probably told him before but you ramble on so much that he can only remember a handful of stuff you say

one of his favorite moments of the day are when he arrives home and you're just on your laptop scrolling and vibing to music, you even get up and dance to it inviting him to join you even if he's terrible at it but hey, at least you're having fun together :)

★ Horangi...

he knows how much you love thrifting for new clothes so he likes finding good thrift shops you can go crazy in and then show him the new outfits you put together with them, he also likes surprising you with brand/label clothes and items

you often feel guilty bc you know how expensive those brands can get but he insists on it, he loves you showing your colors and taking you out

he's even dyed his hair colors to match with you! you can't tell me he isn't a little into the alternative side as well, he's definitely expanded his style since he met you

you two even have your matching jewelry for almost every occasion that you've handmade when out on dates, like those places that are for couples to book so they can diy stuff together (if ykyk bc i forgot what they're called)

★ Nikto...

i can just imagine the first time you shuffled up to him and extended your hand to open it and he sees a colorful little bracelet there

he tilted his head, confused what you were offering to him, oh a bracelet? that little thing? it doesn't look like something he'd wear himself but... since you made it he slips it on, good thing the cord is elastic and stretchy therefore he can pull it through his burly, big hand

he shrugs but on the inside he feels his heart beat a little faster, later he forgets to take it off or you slip a bracelet in his duffel bag when he leaves another member will notice the colored kandi bracelet and ask about it

he's not in the slightest bit embarrassed to say it was you, no amount of teasing will make him take it off

[syoddeye]

Organymede. Nikolai x android!Reader.

cw: body horror/self-surgery, diy top surgery, nasty nik, power imbalance, dirty deal, the world is built on vibes

The clinic isn’t clean. It isn’t cutting-edge. But it’s his, and it’s served him well.

The fluorescents overhead stutter, their light breaking in fits and starts, splashing the walls in jittering shadows. The workbenches are a mess of cast-off parts and tools gone blunt with use—spanners, haptic calibrators, a soldering iron crusted with old flux. A rust-bitten fan whirrs in the corner, fighting a losing battle against the smell and heat.

It smells of scorched metal and coolant, circuitry half-melted and wired back wrong. Beneath it, the organic. Faint, but unmistakable. Sweat soaked into the cracked leather chair, something sharp and coppery threading through the stench. Rarely does anything in Nikolai’s shop actually bleed, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

He’s shutting down for the night, already halfway through stowing his tools when the door creaks open. He tenses immediately, a hand twitching near his hip. He doesn’t do walk-ins. Doesn’t take risks with unknowns. Everybody needs a referral.

And yet, one stands in his doorway.

Their silhouette is stark against the haze outside, rain clinging to their long coat. Eyes bouncing the unstable light back at him, glowing like an angel. They hesitate for only a moment before stepping inside, the door hissing shut behind them.

He makes a quick study, from their scuffed, mismatched boots to the rigid set of their shoulders. There’s no fear in their stance, but an energy. Urgency. Tension wound tight.

“You lost?”

They shake their head. “I need help. Please.”

He huffs a quiet laugh. Everyone who stumbles through his door needs help. But there’s something in the way they say it, a fraying edge to their plea, like a thread about to snap. It’s not panic, not the wild desperation of someone on the edge. A weariness. Exhaustion in a body that needs three hours of rest, max.

Then they move, shrugging off their outer layer. They’re topless underneath.

And he sees it.

He’s moving without thought, the pull of the mess in front of him magnetic in its mess.

Synthetic skin hewn apart, a square section of their chest peeled back to reveal the chassis beneath. The welds are crude, uneven—ugly. Globs of metal fused haphazardly where their chest plating should be smooth. Where it should be curved. A full panel of steel, excised and replaced with something ill-fitting, misaligned. Done by a hand that was determined, but not skilled. The skin’s edges are melted, curled where heat bit too deep. The metal beneath is scorched, the fusion messy, warped where it should be seamless. A clear lack of the proper tools.

Nikolai exhales slowly through his nose. He’s seen botched jobs before. Seen people desperate enough to pry themselves open and tinker. But this—

“Holy shit. You did this yourself?” he asks, hand outstretched and hovering.

They nod. “I had to.”

He doesn’t ask why. Shop policy.

His gaze flickers back to the damage. A mess, but not mindless. Sloppy, but not aimless. He pans downward and tells himself it’s just triage, an assessment of whether to take them to his chair. But there’s nothing clinical about the way he stares. The lines of their body, the smooth stretch of undamaged synth-skin, all of it tempts an unprofessional touch.

The waistband of their jeans, the twin seams of chrome vanishing beneath it. A sliver of green cotton peeking out. He swallows against the sudden tightness in his throat, then, without a word, he reaches out and keeps his hand north of their navel. Fingers ghosting over the damage.

The welds are still warm. Recent.

“This is shit work,” he mutters, distracting himself. He presses a thumb against the edge of where metal meets flesh, feeling the rough, uneven line. Then, his fingers move, tracing the jagged welds. “Lucky you did not kill yourself.”

A small puff of air escapes their lips, quiet, but he catches it. A whimper. Sensitive. So, they didn’t fuck up too badly.

“Are you in pain?”

He presses again. Another whimper. Fuck, it is a nice sound.

“Yes. Can you fix it?” their voice wavers.

Nikolai lets the question hang between them, and his hand rests on their breastplate, his thumb and forefinger bookending one of the welds. He could turn them away. He should. Doubts they have enough scratch, if any, to pay for what he needs to do to them. But there’s that desperation in their eyes.

It’s a resource that’s never in short supply. Always ripe for exploitation.

He lets himself wonder this time, lets the silence build while he considers it. Another long look, and he circles them slowly. His hand glides from the gaping wound in their chest, trailing along the side of their body then over their arm. Artificial muscle tensing under his touch.

When he moves behind them, his fingers land on their exposed shoulders, then draw a straight line down their spine. He pauses at the small divots just above their lower back. He feels the shiver before he sees it—a slight tremor that raises goosebumps.

Nikolai’s eyes widen.

So, they’re high-end. All the bells and whistles. A finely crafted machine.

His dick twitches at the thought of what other features his patient possesses. If they need any fluids topped-off.

For all the under-the-table work, for the shady deals, and the lives, organic and inorganic, he’s yanked back from the mouth of hell in this grimy little clinic of his—this is his reward. Must be.

A smirk curls the corner of his lip as he returns to their front. “Do you have somewhere to go, after this?”

“That’s irrelevant, isn’t it?”

Nik shrugs. “Do you think I will waste the effort on some work that is planning to take their stasis in a gutter?”

Their eyebrows raise. If they’re as advanced as Nikolai believes, their face probably heats, too. 

They hesitate, mouth parting for a moment then snapping shut. Their eyes drop, then they shake their head once. “No,” they say, then lift their chin. “But I passed a motel on the way here. I thought I would–”

“The one on the corner?” Nikolai cuts in, amusement lacing his words. He chuckles when they nod, then clicks his tongue. “That place? You won’t wake up. At least, you won’t want to. The people running that place…Well, people tend to lose themselves there. Parts, anyway.”

Their hands lift instinctively, crossing over their chest in a defensive motion as though protecting their exposed frame. Their hands curve over the opposite shoulder, a flimsy shield. “Understood,” they murmur, then their gaze hardens as they lift it to meet his. “I will seek shelter elsewhere. Does this mean you will help me?”

This could be trouble. It is trouble. The kind of trouble that could make it a very bad idea to get involved. This is the definition of shitting where one eats. The possibility of someone looking for them has not strayed far from Nikolai’s mind since they let out that whimper. Of course, they could be an independent but—

Their chest aside—their skin, their hair? Clean and cared for. Their clothes were clearly stolen or dug out from the trash.

This is a kept droid. Whether it was fired, discarded, or ran away of its own accord…They found their way here. He found them.

Finders, keepers.

“Not for free.” Nikolai grins. “For a price.”

Their jaw tenses. “I anticipated a cost. What is the price?”

Nikolai almost laughs, but he bites it off, replacing it with a look that’s just as cruel. He gives them another deliberate once-over, lingering on the hack job they’ve done on themselves. They flounder under the weight of it, stiffening, their fingers twitching where they clutch themselves. He doesn’t need to say it out loud—they know as well as he does that they don’t have anything close to his base fee.

“If I could, perhaps, start a line of credit…?” they offer, testing.

Nikolai scoffs, sharp. “This is not a charity.”

The words land like a slap. They flinch, but they don’t argue. No pointless protests about fairness, no self-righteous anger. Instead, they look around, taking in the state of his clinic. Their gaze lingers on the stacks of outdated parts, the spare limbs, the implants bobbing in jars. They’re sizing it up. Calculating, the same way he did to them.

They’re close. 

Their tongue darts out, wetting their lips. A sharp inhale. Then, “I…I could…”

“Yes?”

“Work it off?” They meekly suggest.

Nikolai lets the silence drag, watching them squirm before he repeats it back a syllable at a time. “Work off the debt.”

Right where he wants them.

“This,” he gestures vaguely at their chest, “this will not be cheap to fix. But I can do it and make you whole again. Even let you pick your nipples, special order. But the work you’re offering? It won’t be easy. Whatever it is you used to do, you might grow to miss it.”

“I won’t.” They answer immediately, a burst of nerve. Their arms uncross, shoulders squaring, as if daring him to doubt them. The plate they’d tried to smooth over gleams dully. A blank canvas.

Such a bold thing. Whatever drove them to carve themselves open like this, to rip out what they couldn’t stand to live with—it’ll follow them, he’s sure. A hunger curls deep in his gut at the thought of someone else snatching this prize up before he’s had his chance to play.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please, help me.” They ask, stepping closer.

His gaze flicks to the sliver of green peeking above their waistband. His first order of business? A full inventory—of both the soft and the hardware.

He extends his hand, a show of goodwill, and they take it. It’s warm. Like the real thing.

Nikolai’s grin is all teeth.

“Okay, baby. I will.”

[zph]

christmas with scaramouche. gn!reader | fluff. short drabble.

notes: fluff, very brief mention of angst in the beginning, mistletoe shenanigans, scara kinda compared to the grinch lol, small kiss (kinda on brand for this blog), not proofread

a/v: happy holidays everyone & merry xmas / eve to those who celebrate :) wrote this with straight indulgence & all vibes.

masterlist

Scaramouche doesn't really celebrate Christmas.

Not for the lack of liking the holiday, but rather, his family never bothered with the tradition and the people who once did celebrate were long and far gone now.

So, soon he later found disinterest in most holidays. Christmas included. The flashing neon lights, the obnoxious 3 songs they play during the season, and sickly sweet gingerbread cookies that serve, all left the prickly sensation in his chest.

That was until he met you.

You, who wanted to celebrate with him and enthusiastically so, or in your words, it was special because it marked the first time you both first celebrate Christmas together.

You, who somehow convinced him not completely hate the idea and to get into the spirit via. sweaters, hats, and….non-sugared sugar cookies. Whatever that meant.

“This hat is not bad.” He presses down the hat to fit snugly on his head.

You waved him off with a laugh. “Of course, of course. It is all yours.”

You, who took the time to decorate the apartment with the assortment of tinsels, stockings, and candles. Nothing too fancy but enough to easy to clean. Something that didn’t make him feel overwhelmed.

You, who is also currently trying to convince him to get under the mistletoe.

"That is not a mistletoe." He stared at the poor misshapen mistletoe that you diy-ed yourself. “I’m not sure what that is actually.”

“It is a mistletoe if you believe it is.” You added one more duck tape to your ‘science project’ and settled down with a firm nod. “Now watch…” You leaned against the wall. “Come here.”

His eyes stray from you to the mistletoe and almost resist the urge to laugh despite himself. Ridiculous.

“Sure.” He says, like a liar. Instead, he stepped away to gather the cookies from the box beside him: one shaped like you and the other shaped like him.

“You are worse than the man who stole Christmas.”

He took one glance at his grinch sweater (courtesy of you who wanted to match with the ugly sweaters tradition) and nodded with a snicker. “You’re right. I’m definitely better than him.”

Stepping towards you, he lifted up the two ornaments figures near the mistletoe. Then smushed their faces together. Kiss. “See, now I made them kiss.” His smile only grew once he spot the look of bewilderment on your face down to your gaping mouth. “Hm? What’s wrong?”

“That was….actually really cute.”

“Hah, told you, I’m better than the grinch.”

…

“I take that back.”

He shook his head. Can’t believe there would be a day where he would find himself actually enjoying Christmas.

Case in point: When he looked back to you, you were only step away from him, slowly closing the distance between you both. One hand closing around his, clenching the lookalike figures.

“Merry Christmas you Grinch.” And there, you rightfully took the kiss from beneath the mistletoe, breathing in the winter joy and chuckling against his lips. “Now, come on, let’s go eat these cookies.”

Scaramouche couldn’t help but laugh despite himself. “Merry Christmas to you too.”

Scaramouche doesn't really celebrate Christmas. But luckily, he finds that he wouldn’t mind spending it with you.

[dol-dee]

Limone the Human

Name: Limone Flores (Lee-moh-neh) Age: Old Enough Species: HUMAN! :) Plant Person Pronouns: They/Them Height: 153cm “I was voted most boring human at my school!”

Limone is a human! One of the most normal ones around, they will assure you. Please ignore their yellowish complexion, vibrant green hair and leaf ‘accessory’. Those are just fashion statements. Well. Not the skin, that's just how they were born! They’d appreciate it if you didn’t make fun of it.

Fun facts:

They're a plant person but not quite. Some misplaced humanity but not enough to count as human. Limone might be doomed to a miserable and lonely existence.

Limone can morph and freely change their body (with some exceptions). Their regular "standard" appearance is that of a short stack. They purposefully keep more humanoid features (like blunt teeth and a shorter tongue)

Very hedonistic, will often do "whatevers easiest"

Lacks Object permanence (this extends towards people)

They're very used to leaving and being left. They don't really register it and will move on easily. (If you ghost them, that is.)

Is a quasi divorcee and was (technically is) married to a priest

Limone vacillates between extreme emotional states (boredom, depression, apathy & extreme euphoria and giddiness).

They regularly squish their own undesirable memories/sensations or Inflict Emotional Amnesia onto themself, with some quick n easy DIY lobotomy.

Even though their memories dont remain in the waking world, they occasionally return as nightmares. Haunting their subconscious mind.

Quick to self harm. Its the easiest outlet they have, whenever they don't understand or are unable to deal with emotional turmoil . To be fair. it doesnt matter much. they regenerate quickly.

Their tendency to hyperfixate on people has let to many an accidental love bombing. Its a little like the sun decided to shine its warmest, most pleasant ray on you. It gets cold quick if or when they they lose interest and move on.

They keep a personal Encyclopedia on the people that they get hyper invested in. It looks like something a stalker would make. ...only they aren't a stalker. They just hyperfixate on people and don't see anything wrong with their little hobby. It includes tame stuff, like, extensive doodles, the persons fashion, color, scent, favorite hobbies/media and food preferences. All the way down to what that persons blood, cum, or tears taste like and which one they like best.

They've never actually gone to school

Friends(?) with Harper, they sell their nectar to her on the side for quick cash and keep a variety of part time jobs until they grow bored of them. Harper is equal parts fascinated and annoyed with Limone since none of her experiments seem to work on them. (Yes. Limone unconsciously contributes to the corruption of the town)

The first fully lucid human they interacted with was Eden. She quickly regretted kidnapping Limone.

[sweethoneyrose83]

Wholesome Couple Writing Prompts

Lazy Sunday Morning: One person wakes up early to make breakfast, only to find their partner waiting with breakfast in bed for them.

Rainy Day Adventure: A sudden rainstorm leaves the couple dancing in the rain and sharing cozy moments afterward with blankets and hot cocoa.

Gardening Together: They spend the day planting flowers and vegetables, laughing at the mess they make.

Surprise Notes: One partner hides love notes in the other's daily items, like a lunchbox, wallet, or laptop.

Memory Hunt: For their anniversary, one creates a treasure hunt of locations that mean the most in their relationship, leading to a heartfelt surprise.

Spontaneous Road Trip: A random decision to hop in the car and drive somewhere new turns into an unforgettable mini-adventure.

Supporting Dreams: One encourages the other to take a chance on their passion project, helping every step of the way.

Safe Harbor: After a bad day, one silently makes their partner's favorite meal and prepares their coziest setup for relaxation.

Cheering Together: They train for a small marathon or event together, laughing over failures and celebrating each other's progress.

Stargazing Revelations: While looking at the stars, one finally finds the courage to share a cherished dream or hope with the other.

Accidental Love Confession: Overwhelmed with emotions during a simple, everyday activity, one blurts out how lucky they feel to have the other.

Baking Mishap: Attempting to bake together ends in a flour fight and a heartfelt kiss in the middle of the mess.

Competitive Board Games: A game night turns into a hilarious and spirited competition, ending with both in fits of laughter.

Childlike Joy: Visiting an amusement park or playground brings out their inner kids, swinging on swings, and riding rollercoasters.

DIY Gone Wrong: Building furniture or crafting together devolves into chaos, but the shared effort strengthens their bond.

Holiday Togetherness: They create a unique tradition, like baking cookies in ugly sweaters or writing handwritten notes to hang on the Christmas tree.

Cultural Exchange: Sharing a cultural festival or meal from one partner’s background turns into a delightful blend of discovery and love.

First Snow: Watching the first snowfall together while making promises for the future.

[minhohours]

what i want | han jisung & hwang hyunjin

Pairing: Jisung x F!Reader x Hyunjin

Summary: you've been their roommate for a few months. you haven't left their minds for a few months. they thought that they'd be happy with silently fantasizing about you. they were dead wrong. one night, they decide to talk to you, a real, honest talk, and they discover just how far you are willing to go for them

Genre: smut

Content: non idol! hyunsung, teasing, threesome, dirty talk, begging, fingering, groping, dry humping, oral (f & m recieving), diy bondage, body worship, boob/nipple play, deep throating, penetration, deep throating while being penetrated, protected sex, overstim

You look down and.. uh oh! Your hole is gone. Where there used to be your genitals, it's just as smooth as a barbie.

"It's gone?" Jisung asks.

"Yeah..." you say.

Hyunjin takes a look.

"Yeah, it's gone," he says with a sigh.

"Well that sucks," you say. Now how are you supposed to have a threesome?

Hyunjin looks up from your flat area. "You should probably see a doctor about that."

"I guess..."

The next day you go to your doctor, who also happens to be Hyunjin.

"Damn... It's still gone," Dr. Hyunjin says professionally. "I was hoping this would've fixed itself overnight. He openly googles 'my patient is flat what do i do????' and no results show up, because Google is a terrible search engine.

And so, you are cursed to be completely flat down there for the rest of your life. Sad!

[ronearoundblindly]

hey! fic title: we want what we can’t have

Hmmmm, this makes me think of like a parasocial online relationship, and you know, if it's online, I'm going with our boi, Jakey... From this ask game.

Jake Jensen x influencer!single mom!reader

Not really any warnings except Jake is a liarliarpantsonfire.

It started over at his sister's house. His niece loves to watch DIY videos on Youtube, and you're pretty big with kid-friendly projects that you and your daughter do on camera.

At first, Jake is so focused on not spilling a full jar of glitter across the table and carpet that he didn't notice you were very easy on the eyes, he didn't pick up on the slightly adult, double-entendres you laced in, and he didn't appreciate the stare-at-the-lens moments reminiscent of Jim from The Office.

By the third video though, he absolutely sees the appeal...even if it's not for the same reasons as his family. He's crushing hard, fast, and that was before he found your Twitch stream!

Jake could not care less if you're good at the games because he loves to hear your unhinged laugh when something goes awry. Pretty quickly he finds himself playing your videos while gaming himself and responding to questions you throw out into the void of the internet. No, you can't listen or answer, but IRL social interaction is not his specialty. He's enjoying living vicariously through this stuff.

He actually comments sometimes, not often though since he can see how inappropriate some guys (and girls) get with you in the stream. He knows he's too awkward to make a great impression in the midst of all that, so he keeps it light.

Jake is, however, in complete denial of how bad his crush on you is getting over the many, many months he dives deeper into your 'fandom.'

Once, when he found himself yet again watching a craft video with his niece, he responded without thinking. They were on the porch, squinting at a propped up tablet in the sun, and he quickly typed "me and my girl are loving this!"

Harmless enough, right? Sure, but then he got a ping back.

Be sure to send me a pic of the finished product.

So he did. He laid the two papers beside each other on the glass tabletop and snapped a shot.

😍 Whose is whose, I wonder...

So Jake had his niece hold up hers as he posed with his, ballcap, glasses, graphic-T, and all.

Someone else answered--oh man, is dad single???? --but you liked that comment and responded with a simple "my thoughts exactly 🤭."

He's in too deep now; he wants to talk to you. Jake types those fateful two words.

He is.

It's not strictly a lie, but he in no way corrects the mistaken interpretation. He cannot give up the opportunity.

So he takes some more goofy pictures in front of the wall of art in his niece's room, and you gush about how cute it (and he) is, noting the soccer trophies on one shelf.

Jake proudly tells you all about her many successes in private messages on Twitch [idk how twitch works just go with it if that's wrong], and you mention recognizing his username. There isn't a chance in hell he's letting go now. Guess he's a dad. Cool. He will literally do whatever you vaguely insinuate you want him to do, be whoever you seem to want him to be, anything.

It's still a lie though, and Jake even goes so far as to refer to his niece specifically as 'his daughter.' He's outright lying now, and he doesn't care. He keeps lying, and it spreads to lying to his sister once you announce a summer series of videos--you're taking your daughter to all the largest play grounds in the nearby states, one of which is 30 miles from his sister's place.

Jake floats the idea of taking his niece on this very specific day, says it can't be any other day, and fibs that it's because he'll be gone for work before and after. He messages you the good news that you can meet...if you're okay with that, and he's thrilled when you excitedly announce the girls can meet. Everyone will have so much fun; he's counting on it. Only thing Jake doesn't do is lie to his niece because he knows if he does she will immediately call bullshit and blurt out the truth.

So she's allowed to say 'Jake' or 'Jakey' but he asks her not to call him 'uncle.'

The whole day goes flawlessly, and only like 35% of what he says is effected by dishonesty. He is away a lot for work. He does wish he got more time with, uh, the girl over there playing with your daughter. That girl's mom is absolutely wonderful and they used to live together, technically, a long time ago.

When his niece calls him 'Jakey' in front of you, it's pretty easy to brush off. He's right, there is that age where kids rebel that way, and you remember when your daughter threw her first "no, mother" at you in defiance.

He leaves with your cell number and a long, lingering hug.

Jake's on cloud nine, as is his niece, so he thinks he's gotten away with it, texting with you frequently until days later when he's already deployed with Clay and the team to the other side of the Earth.

Why would my kid be saying that you aren't Cheeky's dad??? She said you STOLE HER FOR THE DAY. Jake, that is your real daughter, right? This is a joke, yeah? Answer me! Did you lie to us?!

No matter what he says, it's over though. He doesn't know how it came up, and his niece did not call him her uncle. Instead, he finds out she mentioned "Jake's not my real father but my mom loves him" which is doubly terrible. You're convinced she's his step kid, and Jake was somehow cheating by talking to you. Admitting he lied but not that bad doesn't help.

All conversation ends when you tell him to lose your number.

How could he possibly fix this?

⬆️⬆️⬆️ how i imagine y'all are about to come at me ⬆️⬆️⬆️

[Main Masterlist; Fic Title Only Asks; Jake Jensen Masterlist]

[groundbreakingdot872]

This is not even the funniest part about this exchange, but the fact that Morgana blames Merlin for 3(?) things here:

1. Condemned her sister to a slow and painful death - ok accurate.

2. Thwarted her plans to take over Camelot - Again, makes sense.

3. Forced her to live in a hovel?? THATS ON YOU BABE

Blaming Merlin for her poor renovation choices (literal eyeballs in mason jars next to her kitchenware and a moss covered bucket meant to be her toilet) is so out of place.

She’d been waiting to have him strung up like a turkey just to complain about her DIY living situation gone wrong. As if he was the architect.

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LBGTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 3, Wave 1, Poll 11

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included. 

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Yoite-Nobari no Ou

Qualifications:

Heavily heavily coded relationship with another boy, canonically intersex and can be read as trans. (implied to be cafab) Suffers from flashbacks, emotional dysregulation, depersonalization due to abuse and neglect. Also terminally ill and progressively loses his sight/taste/hearing and has more trouble getting around and staying awake. Super autism coded, for that matter. To me. And many of the fans actually.

Propaganda:

A very sad boy, in a story about very sad boys fighting for self determination and learning the importance of community. He's a shinobi and can kill people by manipulating their lifeforce from the inside, but he also likes sweets and baseball and mathematics and he communicates like a shy, neglected cat. He's also named after someone's cat. Extremely good character written by an aroace and x-gender author

Anything Else?:

He is the bestest boy ever and should win this tournament by a landslide if the series were more well known

Melanie King-The Magnus Archives

Qualifications:

Bisexual and blind

Gay and blind and amazing

Melanie ends up being blinded by herself in the fourth season of the Magnus Archives, and ends up in a romantic relationship with another woman in the same season

She is blind and has a girlfriend. Canon disabled and canon wlw win 👍

she has a girlfriend and is blind

She is blind and sapphic (I'm not sure if anything exactly is ever confirmed in canon, but most people refer to her as a lesbian)

Propaganda:

she’s iconic

I love her

Oh I love my horrible woman who did many things wrong but in a way I sympathize with and also enjoy because she deserves to be a hater. Anyways so Melanie's very first appearance involved her arguing with Jon and and dismissing the way the Magnus Institute takes statements, which is a very good introduction for her in my opinion because she will continue to be a hater in regards to John. Melanie got stabbed by a ghost prior to her next appearance and briefly became a meme because turns out, when you get stabbed by a ghost, you'll want to tell people about the ghost, and she did this as she was being dragged away from where this happened. Her professional credit went downhill after this. She ends up being the catalyst of a big plot point in season 2 after this statement, because she's the only one who recognizes that Not-Sasha is, in fact, not Sasha. Then it turns out she cannot catch a break because she gets shot by a ghost later, and the ghost bullet turns out to not be a good thing later on. Melanie starts working for the Magnus Institute after Elias, her to-be horrible boss, proposes the role, since her credit has gone down so much that the job opportunity is very much needed. Then she realizes that she does not like her horrible murder boss and that she is bound to the institute, she keeps trying to kill him, which honestly I think she deserved to do because he sucks and she deserves a kill count. Though he shoves the knowledge that her father, who she thought died peacefully, actually died an agonizing, drawn out death in her brain so she stops doing that afterwards. She does help to get him arrested though, even if she really wanted to murder him. After this it is noted that she, at one point, fended off horrible flesh monsters with a knife single-handedly. John ends up realizing that the ghost bullet from earlier is still in her leg, and is more over making her far more murder hungry than she would be without it. So naturally the next step is DIY, non-consentual surgery, which she, after waking up shortly after the incident with her leg frozen and her friends committing medical malpractice, naturally objects to, which leads to her scarring John and overall not trusting him or Basira nearly as much as she might have before. Then she decides to actually prioritize her mental health a bit after going through every horror imaginable by going to therapy and insisting that, due to how the way tapes work in the archives, that none of her sessions be recorded, all while being just a bit paranoid about her therapist. Then it turned out that the only way to sever herself from the eye was to simply not have sight, and she's the one character who chooses this, getting rid of her eyesight very painfully and then moving in with Georgie, who ends up being her girlfriend. She's a little less hostile towards John after this, though she does not want to be in any archives business considering everything she went through there. Then, during the Eyepocalypse, she and her girlfriend, due to her not having sight and Georgie not having fear, are unaffected, and they sort of accidentally start a cult while trying to keep other people protected. Though it does not help that Melanie lied about having a vision that the whole thing would end, since the truth is really hopeless and bleak. She meets up with John and Martin again, is involved with the discussion of how the world can be maybe saved and is ultimately one of the three main characters to make it to the end of the finale, the others being Georgie and Basira. This is just me highlighting all of the wild things she's been up to and this would have gotten even longer if I had more propaganda.

She's so cool she tries to poison her evil boss she kicks ass she was a ghost hunter and she's also managed to escape her shitty situation by blinding herself to be able to quit her evil eldritch horror archiving job and just chill w/ her gf georgie and their cat (until the evil boss she tried to poison fucks everything up for everyone but in the end she and georgie still live and are presumably as fine as they cam be after all the shit that happened)

Only Melanie can accidentally become the Blind Prophet of the Apocalypse with her literally fearless girlfriend after trying to distance herself from the Beholding. She also had a ghost bullet infected with with The Slaughter in her leg which she got because she was a ghost hunting YouTuber/paranormal investigator.

Sometimes you gotta take your eyes out to escape your shitty job. And then you and your girlfriend live as prophets (and basically accidental cult-leaders) in the apocalypse