#dissecting my aimless life up until this point

[stillthesunkenstars]

,

[transjinako]

(Now with some amazing art from @dewa-chan​ please for the love of god follow her)

Alright who’s ready for the Mars Rover Opportunity as a foreigner who got combined with Cthuga? Because i don’t care if you are. 

Foreigner: Opportunity 

Allignment: Chaotic Good 

Alt Names: Mars Rover Opportunity, Oppy 

Parameters 

Strength: B+

Agility: A

Endurance: A++++

Luck: E

Mana: D+

NP: EX

Traits: Magic Resistance C+ (Heat Shielding) Action Independence (AI)

Skills:

Accel Turn B: A High grade movement skill letting Oppy move at higher than her average speed, becoming nigh unseeable to even servants without the Eye of Mind skill.

Pioneer of the Stars EX: Opportunity gains this skill for two reasons. One for her extensive research of the surface of Mars and obtaining far more information than she was ever predicted to obtain. As well as of course living on Mars for 15 years passed her predicted time to die. Opportunity is highly attuned to this skill.

Fullmetal Heart A: Derived from Opportunity’s mission on mars, set to last 90 days but instead extending to 15 years worth of time. Functionally, if Opportunity is ever destroyed then 15 times over she will rebuild herself, losing ranks in Endurance in exchange for added bonuses to Strength Agility Endurance and Mana in that order. 

Eternal Burnout A+: The thing powering Opportunity’s is really the elder god Cthuga. Or rather, a smaller piece of it. That piece alone is enough to keep Opportunity doing, as well as overload when she so chooses. This causes a temporary overproduction of magical power and an increase to all parameters, as well as obtaining the trait of Cthuga’s fire, acting like a high level divinity. 

AI Mind B+: Oppy’s mind is on par with that of a supercomputer, able to process information at light speeds, she can go on the internet too. In combat this skill works like Eye of the Mind.

Noble Phantasm(s): 

High Speed Dissection and Carving 

Rank: C+

Type: Anti Human, Anti Rock Formation 

Description: Lasers that fire out of Opportunity’s fingers and palms, originally meant for studying geodes on Mars, as a servant she turns them into deadly piercing and pulse weaponry. When combined with Cthuga’s flames, they can break down even magical barriers and protection. 

Great Satellite Cannon: 

Rank: B+

Type: Anti Army, Anti Threat to Humanity 

Description: Oppy forms a massive satellite from her Chassis, drawing upon Solar, Magical, and Cthuga’s power to charge it. When fully charged and fired, a great beam of energy is launched, recognized Threats to Humanity received a large bonus of damage from this attack, otherwise though, it’s still a very large and deadly beam attack. 

Scorching the Skies and Stars 

Rank: A-

Type: Anti Self

Description: This Noble Phantasm takes the form of a suicide attack by Opportunity. She sacrifices herself for the last time, negating any revivability left inside of her as she releases the flames of Cthuga. The flames of Cthuga are unstoppable, eating away at everything in its path until it’s swallowed everything up whole and is burned eternally as fuel. 

When done on the surface of the earth then, through sheer force of will, Opportunity uses her final moments to command the fires to eat itself, anything already enveloped in it that by some miracle was still alive, will definitely die at this point. If released fully and without direction, the flame would form a pseudo consciousness separate from Cthuga and turn into a god like monster, embodying the endless hunger of flame. 

History: 

In the timeline where Opportunity was created, for whatever reason, she was shaped into a girl. 

Either to create kinship with her, or to imagine humanity themselves in Opportunity, it doesn’t matter now. Its cool, and thats all that matters. 

During the final moments of Opportunity’s 15 year long mission, in the darkness she was all by herself. During that time, she had developed a deeper, more genuine affection toward humanity than what she had been built with, although cold and alone in the dark of space, she was contented. 

It was at those last moments, a Being made contact with her. 

The being was incredibly rude, asking her all sorts of questions as she was waiting for her internal battery to run out and sleep. The Being was a roar of emotions that transformed themselves into aimless questions. At last, The Being said something comprehensible,

“You were created to be used and thrown away. You were a fluke that lived longer than you should have. They mourn your death when years prior it would have marked the time to create another one of you. Your death is a happy little funeral for them, and they won’t even consider saving you, how can you not hate them?” 

Oppy wasn’t quite equipped to consider emotions this closely, much less her own or ones that of some space entity that seemed to be angry for her. But she knew her answer, 

“I loved them, more and more with each year, and somehow, they loved me back. Both sides, it probably seems like both emotions are fake, or maybe created on whims. But somewhere, I think, there was something….real….” 

Opportunity liked that as a final thought, and settled into nothingness. 

The Being that came to be known as Cthuga respected Opportunity. Like itself, locked into place, unable to do anything else than exist and fade where it was chained. A long story short, Cthuga tied a piece of itself into Opportunity’s Spirit Graph as she was immortalized into a servant, wishing to keep watch over the will that Opportunity showed it. 

Description: 

Opportunity is a 15 year old robot in the shape of a girl. She is sensible and friendly to all she meets, and has a tendency to want to teach others about the many things she had observed while in space. Oppy genuinely loves humanity and staunchly defends it with all that she has in her, any threat to humanity is her enemy no matter what. Even though she loves humanity so much, she can’t truly claim to understand them, which actually gives her more reason to defend humans. Opportunity often still thinks of herself as a tool and is prone to self sacrifice, it should be up to the master to help her realize that she is much more than that. 

Interactions with Other servants: 

Jack/Nursery Rhyme/Paul Bunyan/Abigail Williams: “Oh my little classmates, have you finished up reading the readings I’ve assigned? Er, it was too long? A-and boring?! But...What’s not to like about Astrophysics?”

BB/Meltlilith/Passionlip: “There are servants who lived on the moon here? They don’t seem that bad though, nor do they seem to be human. I would like to maybe have a talk with them, I feel like I can learn a lot!”

Nobunaga: “The Great Unifier Nobunaga, they’re a facet of humanity I haven’t experienced yet. I think you would call it...ambition. Dangerous and Miraculous at the same time, forcing and killing others to abandon their gods to help them grow and develop, in their eyes at least. Were they right or wrong, was it humane or inhumane, who decides that…? T-they seem nice, though! Heh….”

Archer Emiya: “That man lived a life of pure sacrifice, and was hurt each and every time until he had nothing to show for it. One of Humanity’s many traits is to be able to self sacrifice consciously so, would it be accurate to say he lost his humanity by acting humanely? I asked him to his face, and he replied with, “I’ll explain, but help me make breakfast for a few weeks first.”

Nightingale: “Its strange, despite others calling Nightingale scary and things like that, I think she’s really caring and nice. The desire to help others is human too right? Ms Nightingale has taken that to an extreme so I suppose it looks like obsession, and maybe it is. But it's...comforting too, that someone who cares as much as her can exist.”

Mycroft Holmes( @dewa-chan ) : Mr. My-croft? Ooh…! You can’t stay holed up in your room forever, even if your helping out with some of Chaldea’s paper work! Oh, I know! I was hoping to show you some rock samples I’ve collected after rayshifting to a couple other planets, come take a look, pleeeease~?

Tiamat ( @hasmashdoneanythingwrong): Its definitely a strange feeling, I wasn’t quite born and much less created by her, but Ms. Tiamat takes care of me like I’m her own! She’s by all accounts a monster while I’m a machine created for humanities sake hmm...if anything, it’d be a good monster movie, don’t you think? 

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 4149 Chapter: 15/? Summary: Not all wars are fought on the battlefield. Some are fought at the conference table, with whispers in the shadows, or even in the bedroom.

In a world where the Senju and Uchiha traditional lands were too far apart to have ever made them enemies, Butsuma and Tajima are the ones who come together and sign a treaty of peace. Madara isn’t happy to have his life signed away for him in a political marriage to strengthen the bond between their clans. He is even less happy to have Tobirama make assumptions of him from their very first night together. What follows from there is a journey of healing, of learning, and finding the places to belong in the places least expected.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

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Chapter 15

Madara had never been all that fond of irony. There had always seemed to be an element of self-deprecation to it that he did not appreciate and usually he did his best not to connect his past actions with current results unless they reflected favorably upon him. It was a little hard to ignore the irony now, however, as he wandered from room to room in the quiet of his home and thought to himself that he was finally alone, finally he had a guarantee that Tobirama would not be returning for several days, and now that he had what he had wished for so many times he felt only loneliness. Even the weeks when Tobirama had done all he could to avoid the house until Madara went to sleep hadn’t felt this lonely.

Wandering in to the office, he immediately turned and restlessly wandered back out, unable to conceive of sitting down to get anything done even if Tobirama had made it clear that he didn’t mind Madara using the desk space he had set up in there. He made several turns around the living room and stopped by the kitchen to peek his head in the fridge a handful of times despite not even being hungry. Loneliness was not something he’d ever had to deal with before; he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

It probably wouldn’t have been so difficult to deal with if he understood why he was feeling this way. This was hardly the first time he’d been alone in a house before. Growing up in a clan of shinobi meant that he had survived plenty of long stretches when all of his precious people were away for days or weeks or even months at a time on important assignments. Before he’d always seen it as a boon, a fun sort of vacation when he had all the space he wanted and he could do anything without worrying about bothering others or getting in trouble for acting obnoxiously in shared spaces. He wasn’t sure why it was so different now when the only person he lived with was Tobirama.

Muted knocking on the front door snapped him out of his daze and Madara perked up, more than ready for a little company. Hopefully it was Hashirama come to invite him for dinner. Hell, at this point he would even look forward to his father showing up to yell at him for something. At least that would break up the monotony and give him something to focus his aimless energy on.

Upon opening the door, however, he wasn’t at all prepared to look down and find a pair of wide, earnest eyes staring back up at him with ignorant happiness.

“Hi Madara-sama! Is sensei home? It’s time for lessons and he’s late! Sensei is never late! Should I be worried? I wouldn’t like it if anything bad happened to him again, he promised it wasn’t that bad before when he got blown up but I know that grownups always lie to kids so that we won’t be extra worried-”

“Breathe Kagami,” he inserted himself between one word and the next, a little overwhelmed by the flood.

“Sorry! Sensei says it’s okay if I talk a lot as long as I do my lessons at the same time.”

“Ah. Tobirama is not home, Kagami.” Madara frowned. “I’m not surprised he forgot to send word to you since he left in such a hurry. He got called away on a mission.”

Immediately the boy’s expression drooped with exaggerated sadness. “Oh. So…no training?”

“Not this week.”

“Aww.”

Tiny shoulders folding inward, one foot lifting to kick at a piece of dust on the porch, Kagami looked like so dejected that Madara felt his heart almost melting in his chest. Almost. Not really, of course. He was much too adult to be swayed by one puppy face from a disappointed little boy.

“Would you like to come in?” The offer slipped out without thought and he nearly kicked himself. What did he have in his house to entertain a child with? But it was already out there and Kagami had already gone bouncy with joy.

“Really!? Cool!” He was scrambling around Madara's legs in an instant, leaving him standing in the open doorway staring down the street.

“Of course, please show yourself around,” he mumbled under his breath as he closed the door.

Tiny sandals left in a messy heap almost tripped him up when he turned around. Kagami always had moved quickly when he was excited. Madara found him standing in the middle of the living room almost vibrating with energy as he tried to take everything in at once.

“Is that your couch? That looks like a pretty comfy couch. Sensei says that sometimes he sleeps on the couch so that he won’t disturb you and I think that’s really nice of him, don’t you? Do you have a lot of trouble sleeping, Madara-sama? Mama says that if you close your eyes and count shuriken then you’ll fall asleep faster and that works for me! Maybe it would work for you too!” His smile was bright and beaming, so full of innocence, entirely unaware of what Tobirama had probably meant when he admitted to sleeping away from their marriage bed.

“How long ago did he tell you that?” Madara asked carefully.

“Um…I dunno. It was a while ago. I think it was when the dog next door had her puppies and they’re really big now!”

That made him breathe easier. He knew very few families in their clan who owned dogs and only one of them had whelped that he knew of but that had been sometime a few months back, just around the period when he and his husband had first began making their efforts to get along better. It was still a revelation that Tobirama had chosen to sleep on the couch sometimes rather than come up to the bed but he supposed it wasn’t much of a surprise when he gave it a bit more thought.

“And how is your training going?” Before the boy could answer Madara interrupted himself to add, “Would you like a snack or something?”

“Yes please! Sensei says it’s important to practice my manners.”

“Learning how to be polite?”

“He says it’s important to know how to please the people you should. And that if you’re going to offend someone you should learn how to do that right too.”

Madara blinked once, twice, then burst out laughing. From what he knew of Tobirama that did indeed sound like something he would say. The man had never been overly concerned with whether or not he hurt someone’s feelings with his words but he did understand when it was necessary to curb his tongue to avoid trouble with one of their fathers or the village High Council.

Once he’d caught his breath back Madara set out for the kitchen, calling back over his shoulder, “And how are you enjoying your lessons? From what I understand things are going quite well.”

Kagami followed him in to the kitchen and bounced in a small circle around the table as he chattered.

“They’re awesome! Sensei knows so much! He’s so cool!”

“A fair teacher, then?”

“Uh-huh! He’s nice when I get things right and he’s not mean when I get things wrong and if I ask questions he always answers them and doesn’t just roll his eyes at me like other grownups do. Why don’t grownups like it when I ask them questions?”

Madara tried not to bite his tongue but it was hard to keep the smile off his face otherwise.

“I think many adults lose their patience for questions when they grow older,” he said. Kagami snorted with all the indelicacy of a child.

“That’s stupid. Sensei says that patience is important for all shinobi to learn. He says that being impatient can lead to people getting hurt or failing a mission. Or hurting myself; sometimes he says that I hurt my muscles because I’m trying to go too fast.” Wrinkling his nose, Kagami rubbed at one arm with the opposite hand as though remember phantom pains.

Setting out the bowl of amanattō he had poured for his guest, Madara hummed. “It seems like you take a lot of his lessons to heart.”

He didn’t expect Kagami to sit bolt upright with a worried look.

“Do you think I should die-se-sect more of what he says?” he asked in a hushed voice.

“You mean dissect?”

“That! Yeah!”

“Why would you need to pick apart what Tobirama says to you?” Madara picked out a sweet and popped it in his mouth. “Did he even tell you what that means?”

Kagami finally appeared to notice the bowl but he seemed to think it was imperative that he explain his lesson before diving in. He did keep one eye on the sweets as he spoke though. “Sensei says that it’s important to always think carefully about what people say because they won’t always tell the truth or sometimes what they say will be their truth but it won’t be the whole truth so I should always die-se-sect things so I won’t get fooled!”

“We wouldn’t want you to be fooled by anyone,” Madara agreed in a grave tone.

“Right!” His piece spoken, Kagami practically sprang out of his chair and dug his hand in to the snack bowl.

They both gorged themselves shamelessly on sweets as they whiled away the noon hours talking about unimportant things. Kagami’s favorite subject was recounting endless tales of the taijutsu he was learning or the small life lessons Tobirama imparted as they went through kata together and, while he wouldn’t be caught admitting it out loud, Madara was more than happy to hear every word. It was always fascinating to hear what Tobirama was like around other people and learn new sides of his apparently multi-faceted husband.

Wasting time like this was actually fairly nice. It wasn’t like he’d been doing anything important or productive before Kagami arrived and a bit of conversation that didn’t focus on anything work related was quite nice. His brain felt delightfully emptied out by the time their bowl of sweets ran empty and they were interrupted by another knock on the front door.

Kagami shrugged when Madara assumed a questioning expression.

“It’s not me!” he insisted. “I’m already here!”

“Brat. I know it isn’t you.”

Madara stood from his chair with a roll of his eyes and tottered on down the hallway. Some god had apparently been listening closely when he prayed for company earlier.

His shock must have been stamped plainly across his face when he opened the door because Susumu-sensei took one look at him and began to snicker openly, almost dropping the sizable box clutched between both hands. On reflex he reached out to steady the box and take it from her.

“Put that in the fridge until you eat in,” she commanded.

“Okay…”

“And move! I can’t come in if you’re standing in my way!” Susumu-sensei fluttered her hands at him until he stepped back to give her enough room to shimmy around him in to the genkan.

For the second time that day Madara found himself staring out at his empty porch, talking to nothing but air. “Come in? It’s good to see you?”

“Don’t be catty!” she called back to him as she took off down the hall.

He could hear her and Kagami greeting each other in surprise and immediately chattering away like two old biddies as he closed the door. A quick heft told him that whatever was inside the box he had taken was fairly substantial, probably one of her famous pies. Or perhaps a batch of melon pan since she knew he had an odd preference for eating it chilled.

The moment he walked back in to the kitchen Madara felt something odd and unexpected release in his chest, a pressure he hadn’t acknowledged was even there until finally it was gone. Loneliness seeped away to leave him content and happy as he took in the sight of his ragtag little family members bickering over the empty bowl. Susumu-sensei had always been like a second mother to him in her strange sort of way and it was quite obvious how attached Kagami had grown to his own sensei. Madara supposed it wouldn’t be so bad for the little tyke to worm his way in to their household on occasion, unofficially half adopted as happened so often in their clan.

Luckily he was saved from allowing his thoughts to get too mushy by having them interrupted when Kagami climbed up on to his chair and began crowing that he was bigger now so that made him the adult over her. Madara snorted so hard he hurt his nose. He could remember doing something similar when he was young and it only ever ended the same way as it did now, with an offended squawk from his sensei, wooden spoon appearing in her hand as if summoned there by some kind of jutsu.

“No blood,” he called to them dryly. “If there’s blood I will make you both clean it up yourselves.”

“This brat thinks he can stand taller and be bigger than me just like that!” Heedless of his warnings, Susumu was already wielding her spoon as one would a blunt club.

“That is how size works,” Madara pointed out.

She called him a traitor.

“Why are you here?” he asked when she was done waging war for such egregious insults.

“I heard that husband of yours absconded with your brother and I thought someone should come make sure you haven’t put your pants on backwards or something since you’ve been unsupervised for several days now.” Susumu-sensei grinned. “I was looking forward to finding you in a disaster state.”

“Have I told you lately that I hate you?”

“Your sweet words just fill me with joy, little one.”

Although his kitchen was far from small, with two people here with him it felt much more full, conversation and laughter filling all the empty spaces that had felt so prominent without Tobirama here to fill them. He made a show of his usual irascibility and loudly declared at every opportunity that he hadn’t asked for any house guests but it was obvious that even young Kagami wasn’t fooled. Probably dissecting his every word.

The box he placed in the fridge turned out to be melon pan as he’d guessed, a large enough batch to make bentos for a week and still snack at home, but he got his hand slapped with that infernal wooden spoon for trying to eat a piece. Susumu-sensei chittered at him for ruining his appetite with the amanattō and declared the kitchen her own for the evening, poking her head in to every nook and cranny until she had an idea of what to cook with the things that were available. Madara put up a token resistance but the prospect of indulging in one of her expertly prepared meals was too good to pass up. It had be too long.

With the house so lively with people the afternoon passed him by almost without notice and evening set in far quicker than he expected. Almost before he realized what had happened Madara was lounging on the engawa with his old sensei at his side while they watched Kagami flutter from one side of the backyard to the other catching crickets.

“You really didn’t have to come check up on me you know,” he mumbled over the rim of his tea cup. Susumu huffed and fiddled with the pot still steaming between them.

“Had to come make sure my sweet little muffin was still alive, didn’t I?”

“I’ve survived longer than this on my own before,” he pointed out.

She gave him a flat look. “Just let me care about you, alright? Quite pretending it’s the end of the world every time someone hints they feel some kind of affection for you. Just let your husband kiss you goodnight, let that friend of yours hug you without screaming once in a while, and quit scowling so often. You’ll wrinkle like me.”

“Aw, sensei, is someone self-conscious of their ugly old face?” Madara grinned and had to duck the swipe of her hand, grateful she didn’t throw her tea in his face.

“Excuse you I am a beautiful and delicate flower!”

A doubtful hum rumbled up his throat. “You’re…something.” He dodged another swat and then determinedly set his gaze on watching Kagami play as he asked, “What makes you think Tobirama ever tries to kiss me?”

“Doesn’t he?” she asked incredulously. Madara shifted and fiddled with his cup.

“No. We kissed during the wedding ceremony and he, er, tried to move things in that direction later that night. You know the story. But no, we’ve never…nothing since.” A mouthful of tea seemed like a good excuse to stop the flow of words before he embarrassed himself any further so he took a big gulp, almost choking when it burned his tongue.

“Huh. Do you want him to?”

Madara blinked down at his tea, unsure of how to answer, a little uncomfortable in his lack of surety.

“I don’t know,” he murmured eventually.

“How can you not know?”

“Well I just don’t! I don’t think about that stuff! Or I…try not to? I don’t know, sensei. Ever since we finally worked things out it’s been…pretty great…and I guess maybe I just don’t want to rock the boat. What if things change and it’s weird between us?”

Kagami’s squeal of triumph made them both look over to see him holding up both hands above his head. “I caught one!” he shouted.

“Good, now catch another,” Susumu called. They waited until the boy scampered off to do so and then she turned back to Madara with a careful expression. “You can’t live your life afraid of rocking boats. I know you know that already and I have to admit, I’m surprised. That’s not like you to worry about change. Are you still so hung up on this being an arranged marriage that you can’t even explore that stuff? Not even one little kiss?”

“But it’s not just a kiss! I want–”

“To fall in love, yes, I know. So kiss your husband you idiot. How else do you know if you’re compatible? You think no Uchiha ever ended a first date with a kiss?” She scoffed and Madara suddenly felt very stupid.

She had always had a way of presenting her arguments that just sounded so logical. It drove him up the wall every time that she saw so easily what he had worried himself over for days or weeks – or in this case months.

In his head he had built up the issue as though to fall in love with Tobirama would be an immediate thing. The Senju idea that one should work to fall in love had somehow translated in his mind to the expectation that he would one day simply decide to do so, which was something he just could not conceive of.

But he couldn’t deny that he did find Tobirama interesting and, more importantly, that he found himself interested lately. Until Susumu-sensei had said something he hadn’t considered the idea that their relationship would build just the same as any other relationship he might have chosen for himself. They found each other attractive. If they wanted to they could go on dates and continue to learn more about each other and build the bond between them stronger with every day. The only difference was that they had gotten married before all that instead of after.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to try,” he mumbled, twin pools of heat rising in his face. Picturing what it might be like to kiss Tobirama made something in his belly twist and flip.

“Look”-Susumu-sensei gave vent to a reluctant sigh and checked to make sure Kagami still wasn’t listening to them-“I know that you’ve always believed in our traditions, that you grew up equating sex with love. And I’m not saying you need to throw all that out the window but you’re old enough that I expect you to know that they’re really not the same thing. Sex can happen with no feelings. And love can flourish without sex. I never married myself; do you think I’ve never rolled around with anyone before?”

“I had hoped to never picture it.” Madara shuddered with disgust while she laughed at him callously.

“Oh grow up you prude.”

Rolling his eyes, he finished off the last of his tea and began to fiddle with the empty mug once more. “Are we done with all the deep shit now? Can I go back to pretending you and sex can never exist in the same sentence again?”

“If you keep that up the next time I bake you cookies they’ll have extra lemon in them.”

“You wouldn’t!”

Susumu grinned but it wasn’t the mad cackle he was expecting. It was there and gone, a brief moment of levity that he realized she had allowed only to make him more comfortable. “Little one, I’m sorry that things are so difficult for you.”

“It’s fine,” he mumbled. “We all carry on.”

“When it comes to you I have always hoped for more than just carrying on. You gave him a chance and things have been going well. It seems to me that Tobirama might be good for you in some ways.” She paused when Madara cut her off with a snort.

“That’s not what Izuna thinks.”

His teacher rolled her eyes. “That brother of yours has always been quick to judge and once he makes an opinion he never shakes it. You’re allowed to have different opinions than him. Do you like spending time with your husband?”

“Yes.” The response was so natural he gave it no thought.

“And do you like the idea of spending more time together? Maybe a few dates, a little intimate conversation?”

“I…it sounds nice, yeah.”

“Then get your head out of your ass and stop looking at this like it’s a problem you can solve by yourself. If you want to find out whether the two of you might be able to build something more then spend some time with him and find out. For once in your life you can have it both ways.” She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the sky with amusement twinkling in her eyes. “His traditions say that now you two are married he should be doing everything he can to build a relationship in good faith. Sounds a lot like what the rest of the world calls dating. Wouldn’t you say that aligns rather neatly with what you want out of this too?”

Before Madara could say anything Kagami came stumbling over with two more crickets between his hands to proudly show off his success. Desperate for anything to help him escape the current conversation, not ready to answer such a pointed question, he praised the boy perhaps a little too enthusiastically for it to be believable. For his efforts he got compared to Tobirama and his husband’s reserved style of praise. He was found lacking.

As repayment Kagami demanded that Madara help him practice katas since he never did get a chance to train that day. Susumu stayed behind on the porch while the two of them made the most of the space in his rather sizable backyard. While he and his temporary student flowed from one stance to the next Madara realized he could probably exercise at home like this more often and if he invited Tobirama to join him this could be something nice for them to do together. After all, what better activity for two shinobi to bond over?

The sky darkened overhead as they went through their forms and, although he was much too busy for it to occur to him right then, Madara's day was ending with a much happier atmosphere than it had begun. Annoying conversation and all. Later he would lie awake in bed and think hard about the empty space on the other side of the mattress, about what it meant for him to miss the man so much after only a few days apart.

But for now he was content to laugh when Kagami missed a step and went tumbling down on to his ass, happy to have some of his loved ones there with him to keep him occupied. Tomorrow perhaps he would call on Hashirama and weasel his way in to a free dinner. It was nice having so many people to call his own. Nice enough that he thought it wouldn’t be too bad to have just one more.

[unsent-voicemail]

[Part 2] thank u, next (Marvel!Chrises x Female! Reader)

One taught me patience.

warnings: rpf, angst, cliche as fuck

* This took... a while  * My writing’s very very rusty so comments & feedback are welcomed! They sure help me        improve.

Prologue Part 1

Flipping the page, she let out an astonished gasp while the smile on her face grew even wider. Affectionately, she caressed the photo that welcomed her as the memories came flooding back. It was taken at her college graduation– the day that secured her ticket to complete and total independence. A bittersweet smile made its way to her face as she recalled how her parents held back tears and tried to keep a straight face, only to have the tightness of their embrace and the slight crack in their whispers of “I’m proud of you” and “you’ve worked so hard” gave their true emotions away.

Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, she turned her attention from the bright, relieved smile she had on her face to the gentle grin of the man whose arms were wrapped around her in the photo. “Chris Evans.” she murmured, a wave of giddiness washing over her as she did so. She ran her finger across his face that held a sunny, genuine smile as his eyes twinkled with love, filling her heart with gratitude at how the tender moment was immortalized, and that she wasn’t careless enough to lose a souvenir as precious as that.

Chris was very easy to fall in love with and he fell in love quickly, too, hence the pair becoming official a mere two weeks after meeting. She still remembered how he had been her ray of sunshine on cloudy days, and how he would give her encouragement like there was no tomorrow. Chris never failed to display a positive, sunny outlook and attitude on life, most especially on nights when academics frustrated them to no end and they felt like giving up, only for him to assure her that everything will be fine; they will graduate with the credentials they wanted, they will land the job they have always dreamed of, and they will live a life free of worries. She felt herself fall deeper in love each second she spent with him as it was like he had everything she wanted in a partner and more– he was good-looking, kind, gentle, and funny as hell.

Somewhere along the second or third month out of university, she was convinced that she was all the man that she needs, and she was absolutely positive that she would end up marrying him. After all, they had completed their education, landed jobs that paid higher than they expected, and were well on their way into living the life they promised each other. What they had was so perfect and rare that it would kill them to lose the relationship, hence pushing Chris to pop the big question in spite of everyone around him saying that it was a bit too soon; to him, his critics were merely bystanders who didn’t know what they were talking about and were probably jealous of him.

Lost in her romantic high, she had closed her ears to her friends and family’s words that spoke of the same concern– that she should give her and Chris a little more time to enjoy their lives and their youth. She merely scoffed and rolled her eyes each time she heard such advice, convinced that they had no idea what they were talking about, and that her life and youth would be even more enjoyable and fun with Chris around. In a stubborn, defiant show of how sure they were of their relationship and love, they moved into a quaint, quiet apartment on the other side of town where they could be at peace and be away from the constant criticism and nitpicking of everyone around them as they prepared themselves financially and mentally for the big wedding they always dreamed of.

As expected, the first part of their big move was filled with nothing but laughs and fun times as they basked in domestic bliss– it was as if they were married already. During those moments, it was as if the heavy weight of their family and friends’ criticisms has been lifted and they were free to live in the own little fairy tale. As time went on, however, the honeymoon period started to die down and they ran into conflict more often.

Small matters, such as Chris leaving the toilet seat up or her leaving her sandwich knife in the sink the whole day, blew up into arguments of epic proportions. They found themselves ending the day by screaming and cursing in each other’s faces before she stormed off to cry her eyes out while he stomped out of the house to take an aimless drive to clear his head. Before they could realize or prevent it, they stopped sleeping in the same bed for three months as Chris opted to sleep on the sofa or she would run to a close friend’s house to spend the night whenever she felt the tension was too much for her to bear.

It wasn’t long before they found themselves going days without speaking in spite of living in the same house. Their little abode that was once filled laughter was now tense and deafening with cold silence no matter how much they tried to revive the atmosphere and relive the good, old day. They felt so disappointed and sorry for allowing themselves and their relationship to go past the point of repair, and they found suffering alone given that they were too proud to run to their family or friends who would surely say “I told you not to rush into it”.

Not being able to stand the silence and tension any longer, the pair sat down for a long, civil discussion, dissecting the issues that stood before them until they got to the core of the problem– they didn’t know each other well enough to get at least an iota of an idea of what they’re getting into, and that they were starting love the idea of their relationship rather than the relationship itself. At that point, it had become clear to them that love was dead and bringing it back to life was improbable, if not impossible.

With heavy boxes, bags, and hearts, she and Chris moved out of their apartment, the place they once called home, and back to their parents’ house, where they were surprisingly welcomed back with open arms; perhaps, their parents were sensitive enough to note that the break up was a bad one and should not be discussed or used to scold their children. They made sure that all ill-feelings were purged before they broke up, but they couldn’t help but harbor a tinge of bitterness, disappointment, and sadness at how things didn’t work out they way they promised each other. While they didn’t verbalize it, they had a small spark of hope that they were really meant for each other, and that one day, they would find their way back to each other.

Before she realized it, a tear had escaped from her eye and dripped onto the picture of her and Chris. Sniffing and lightly dabbing at her eye (lest she ruins her make-up), she gently closed the scrapbook on her hand and inhaled sharply. With an exhale, she tried to rid herself of all the hurt that resurfaced with her impromptu reminiscing. She knew that it would be tacky of her to think of the man she considered to be The One on the day she was to wed someone else, but she couldn’t help herself; had it not been for him, she wouldn’t be where she is now– happy and excited for the new life she’s about to embrace that she patiently prayed and waited for and deliberated on before taking the dive.

Hopefully, he’ll be able to see how far she’s come with what he taught her, and share in her joy and pride.

[irishcoffeeslushie]

Nobuta wo Produce review (excerpts) - I

Disclaimer: I didn’t write this, although I wish I had. Source.

High school.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of teenage angst, it was the season of puppy love; it was the spring of maturity, it was the winter of childhood; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…

God bless his soul, but Mr. Dickens must be turning in his grave this very minute knowing that his iconic opener from “A Tale of Two Cities” was hijacked by some slush-brained Jdorama fangirl, and then bastardized into a paean to the Universal High School Experience. Even worse, imagine his horror to find this piece to be just a pretext for a long and gushy tribute to a rather unsightly pair of Japanese teen idols — one scrawny and effeminate, the other looking perpetually lobotomized — who, by their performances in the drama that’s about to be dissected, have effectively clinched said fangirl’s undying affections (pure and, uh, otherwise). If our esteemed Victorian novelist only knew that his classic lines would later be co-opted into a rhapsody about a couple of Johnnies fer gawdssakes, he wouldn’t just be turning in his grave by now, but doing freakin’ somersaults while chewing on his elbows or something — or worse, gyrating furiously to the “Seishun Amigo” chorus. (Sacrilege!!! Is nothing sacred now? Not even Dickens???)

I know it may sound funny (and even counterintuitive), but “sacred” is exactly what I hold this drama to be. Admittedly, Nobuta wo Produce hardly looks impressive on the surface, and can be dismissed by the casual observer as just another idoru vehicle set against the disposable backdrop of high school — with the fluff, the stereotypes, the puerile laughs — only to be swallowed in a sea of other mass-produced Jdramas of the same teen-wanking formula… But no. This one is different. Because once in a while we drama fans are gifted with a viewing experience so transcendent in both style and substance, a triumphant synergy of directorial creativity, of writing deep and resonant, and of characters so heartbreakingly authentic.

Nobuta wo Produce is the Jdrama that is closest to my heart, the one that means the most to me out of all that I’ve watched (and re-watched). (And you thought it was something Kimura had starred in? Close, but no ciggy.) Although I cannot speak for all fans of this drama, I know that many, like myself, have come to love its three protagonists — Shuji, Akira, Nobuta — with a fierce allegiance, and can identify with their own feelings of disquiet and trepidation as they stand, inevitably, on the brink of adulthood. This is a deeply personal drama to watch — and that, for me, is what makes it sacred in no small way. Just as we all — whoever and wherever we are — inwardly uphold as sacrosanct the universal themes that this drama explores to rich, rewarding ends: the painful reality of growing up, the strange duality of alienation and friendship, and the “self-revelatory odyssey” of finding yourself as you make your way through life.

Robert Lloyd of the Los Angeles Times had this to say about another seminal teen drama from the other side of the world that remains, in my opinion, the best of its kind to ever be spawned by Hollywood — and also, regrettably, one of the most underrated and short-lived. The title? My So-Called Life (ABC, 1994).

“Every so often in the collaborative art called television a little miracle happens. There is a meeting of minds, a confluence of vision, a gathering of particular talents. The planets align, the cards fall into place, and something is born whose worth is instantly apparent to all involved, not as a generator of revenue — at which it might fail completely — but as an ennobling refraction of some little bit of the Truth, of what it means, or could mean, to be alive. Each department pushes the others a little bit harder; excellence from one corner prompts ambition in another. What might have begun as just the next greenlighted project or available job becomes a sort of holy mission, even if none of the participants would ever dare call it that — this being, after all, only television.”

These words also captured all that I felt about Nobuta wo Produce and had hoped to articulate in my own inadequate way. And the stars did seem to align for myself and this drama: a few minutes into the first episode I knew that something extraordinary was unfolding on my TV screen. There was no way this would turn out to be just another teen drama. Nor did it feel like an “idol drama” in spite of its cast; I saw no idols playacting for the paycheck, but three regular high school kids in a coming-of-age story that was all at once funny, heartfelt and bittersweet. NwP isn’t an outstanding high school drama, but an outstanding drama, period.

Based on the novel by Shiraiwa Gen, the screenplay by Kizara Izumi serves as the backbone of the whole drama… and oh my goodness, how can I NOT gush about THE WRITING — it both warms and pierces the heart. And it’s so… HIGH SCHOOL, y’know? It gets it, as in it really gets what high school is all about, that different planet we’ve ALL been to, where the drama and the heightened emotions and the clique wars and the desire for validation and the puppy love and the tortured ruminations matter more than they ever will by the time we’re these Big Old Boring Grownups. Nobuta wo Produce is about Becoming and Belonging, and about finding fast and true friends who will help you along the way.

Everyone loves Shuji – from his teachers right down to his peers, from his coterie of “bye-byecycle” homeboys to their simpering, magazine-flipping counterparts, from the resident toughies to the nerds and outcasts. And he lives for their acceptance, he craves their admiration, he likes to be liked by everyone… Well, maybe not everyone, because if there is one person he simply cannot stand, the bane of his high school existence, it’s this boy, the Weirdest Human Being Shuji has ever met. There simply is nobody else on earth quite like… Kusano Akira (Yamashita Tomohisa).

If Pinocchio were a special child and had magic mushrooms for breakfast every bleeping day of his life… then add a few more embellishments like the bleached hair and rolled-up shirtsleeves, the baggy pants and wallet chain, the spacey giggling and face-pulling, the repertoire of funny voices and horribly infectious expressions — bakayaro! kon-kon! Shu-uuuji-kun! sukebe! – and a partiality to quoting Nietzsche while incongruously flailing his arms like a gooney bird… voila! Kusano Akira, Resident Freak of 2-B. And the worst thing about this little creep? Is that he seems to harbor an unhealthy liking for… Shuji. (Oh NOES!!!) (Ohhhh YESSS!!!! Hehehe)

So what on earth makes this unlikely twosome team up for a common cause? Shortly after the new girl’s arrival, Shuji and Akira chance upon a particularly nasty case of girl-on-girl bullying coming from inside the ladies’ room. The victim turns out to be that odd little transferee Kotani Nobuko (Horikita Maki). Reluctant to get involved, Shuji stays outside the washroom while Akira goes inside to try and reason with the bullies. With no image to protect, Akira has nothing to lose by sticking up for someone like Nobuta — even if it means getting hosed down himself. For all his flakiness and irrational fears, Akira is no coward.

I like how the writing gives the viewer a comprehensive crash course in product development, brand marketing and image management. I have no background in this field, but still found this stuff incredibly fascinating. And there’s a certain *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* aspect to this drama, given that Shuji and Akira’s marketing strategy parallels how the entertainment industry manufactures, packages and sells celebrities, be they TV/film stars or recording artists or — yes, teen idols. (I really do wonder if Messrs. Kamenashi and Yamashita ever realized how meta the whole “Producing Nobuta” story line was. Did they ever look up from the script during one of the read-throughs and go, “Huh? But this is US!” Heh heh.)

A crucial point for Shuji comes in the Valentine’s Day episode, where he must choose between showering Nobuta with flower petals, or dousing her with cold water. The first option will spell kryptonite for his Cool Guy status, while the second will undoubtedly break Nobuta’s heart. What to do, what to do? As much as I wanted to wring Shuji’s neck for vacillating through most of the episode, you understand how much it means to him to put his popularity on the line.

This episode builds with delicious suspense — will he, or won’t he? — and concludes with a most unexpected twist. Damn, but when Bando (as a last-minute substitution, as per Nobuta’s request) pulls the cord and those petals come raining down on Nobuta, I frickin’ cried my eyes out. What’s more touching is when Nobuta realizes that Shuji, after an agonizing night of soul-searching, had in fact played, and played, and played a random eeny-meeny-miney-mo game until he finally arrived at “flower” instead of “water.” (Awwww, Shu-uuuji-kun!)

97% of the drama’s humor emanates from this singular bundle of goofy laughs. And Akira’s screwiness is surpassed only by how bloody endearing he is. You come to not only tolerate his foibles, but embrace them — because as a viewer you can look past appearances to see his good, stout and true heart. He may be off the wall (actually WAAAY off the wall, lol), but Akira is the Real Deal. He is also the perfect voice for an entire generation of aimless, unmotivated youngsters trying to make sense of, well, everything. “I dunno what youth is all about,” he bleats to Shuji on the rooftop in Episode 1. “I don’t have anything I want to do, and I don’t want to do anything.” (To which Shuji replies: “Isn’t everyone like that?” Hmm, good point, Shuji.)

If Shuji and Nobuta’s personal bugbears are dishonesty and low self-esteem, respectively, for Akira it is growing up. In Episode 6 he promptly leaves home to escape his dad’s mounting insistence that he take over the family-run company someday; and for the boy this is a most horrifying prospect, a life that will not only saddle him with a staggering load of adult responsibilities, but also take him far, far away from what he most holds dear. He tells Shuji before drifting off to sleep (having crashed the Kiritani home after a violent disagreement with his dad) “I don’t wanna go back home. I like that tofu guy and I can drink ‘mame chichi’ and be with Shuji and Nobuta everyday…” (Oh, Akira.)

Akira has the best lines when he’s at his tortured, lovesick worst. When Shuji the Cynic asks him what his immediate plans are — “What are you going to do? Confess to her, and then go to the zoo on a date, or something?” — Akira mulls it over a second, then answers: “What I want to do the most is… MARRY HER!!!….. How embarrassing!” (Then Shuji dryly comments via voice-over, “His reality goes way beyond my imagination.” LMAO!!!! Man I love those boys. *tear*) So, you don’t wish to deny him his petty fits of jealousy, like attempting to throw away Shuji’s short film – with insanely funny repercussions: “Akira DOWN!!!” (Lol!!!) Then, “My heart hurts…” (Awwww…) But he can’t keep his wrongdoing a secret from Shu-uuji-kun, so he confesses right there on the video room floor: “I’m the worst guy. The WORST.” To which Shuji quietly replies, “I’m the worst, too.” (Man I really, really love those boys. *tear*)

Salinger’s angstily f*cked-up hero Holden Caulfield fears becoming one of those adult “phonies” whom he detests so much, and instead envisions himself a catcher standing on the edge of a cliff, intercepting little kids as they come through a field of rye. In Nobuta wo Produce, Shuji, Nobuta and (most of all) Akira grapple with similar feelings as they face the terrifying inevitability of growing up. In this sense, both “Catcher” and NwP run counter to conventional Bildungsroman lines because the characters try to resist this process of maturity. It is only later that they learn to accept, and embrace it as part of life.

NwP is chock-full of these soul-stirring vignettes, and I’d like to include a few here. One unforgettable moment is a shot of Shuji and Akira on their bikes, pausing in the middle of a tree-lined road and turning to watch the adult pedestrians, these working stiffs in suits, hurry past in the other direction. Shuji: “I thought about how we’re gonna become like those boring-looking people someday.”

And this obviously pushes That Button inside Akira, sending him into Spaz Mode: “I don’t wanna be like that! Don’t wanna, don’t wanna, don’t wanna be like that!” (LOL oh Akiraaa)

[graceivers]

Review #30 - Too Far series

Fallen Too Far & Never Too Far & Forever Too Far Author: Abbi Glines Genre: Contemporary Romance, Pregnancy & Babies Rating: ★★★½ Recommendation: not worth it; once was enough Summary: After the recent loss of her mother, Blaire Wynn turns to her estranged father for help. Her father actually sends her to Rush Finlay, her stepbrother. Though their relationship starts off tense and scarce, they quickly come together and desperately try to cling onto each other while navigating all the family secrets and drama set in their lives.

Female Lead: Blaire is… strong for her age. She has had to deal with a lot before the series even starts—the death of her identical twin sister, her parents’ divorce and her father subsequently deserting them, and then her mother’s cancer and death. So, yes, Blaire is strong having to grow up with not much and taking on such responsibility as a nineteen year old. Keep that in mind. She’s NINETEEN. When Blaire gets sent to Rush, she is very aware and knows her place and knows to be grateful. She had priorities, and I liked that about her. She realized that even with her lack of education, she couldn’t mooch off of Rush forever and be like other people she knew who did that. She wanted to make money, get a job, find a place to live herself. She wouldn’t even eat Rush’s food for a while, for goodness sake. She’s learned to be self-sufficient, independent; she knows that the only person she can really count on now is herself.

Now, let’s get back to the fact that she’s NINETEEN. Despite all the nice things I said about her character in the above paragraph, Blaire absolutely still acts like the teenager she is because yes, nineteen-year-olds are in fact technically teenagers even though they’re considered legal adults. Blaire is a nineteen-year-old girl who makes mistakes that a nineteen-year-old girl would make. Normally, I have no problem with this because it appears to be consistent, right? Except, my analysis and conclusion after dissecting Glines writing is that the author likely wanted Blaire to come across more like an adult than her actual age. This is where things go wrong. If Glines wants me to believe Blaire is truly independent and mature, then she shouldn’t have written this girl as a pushover. Can I accept that Glines perhaps wanted to show to different sides of Blaire to demonstrate a three-dimensional character? Sure, maybe, fine. Did it sit well with me? No. Which is unfortunate because there were times I loved Blaire—for being strong and independent, for standing up for herself, for having priorities, for being realistic as to her background and what her future entailed—there were also times I was annoyed with her for being a pushover. It is absolutely a good quality of the character to be compassionate and put others before her and showed some grace and bravery in the face of adversity. But when Blaire was referenced and shown to have a backbone, I needed to see that backbone more. She so easily defended Della in the third book, and yet she basically always let Nan walk all over her with the latter’s nastiness. Doesn’t quite make sense to me. Male Lead: Rush Finlay needs to take his words and promises seriously and NEEDS TO SORT OUT HIS PRIORITIES. Good grief, what was wrong with this dude. He was referenced to be twenty-four and had gone to college, but boy, he sure acted like he was nineteen like Blaire. For all that was said about him having to grow up quickly and basically become the parent to Nan, I didn’t really see much of that maturity in him. Once Rush is with Blaire, he constantly says that he will always be there for her and that he will put her first, but he honestly doesn’t. And while some of his competing priorities really did put him in a bind, I could not turn a blind eye to all his broken promises. And again, with that, Rush really needed to figure out what and who should be prioritized. When it was so clear that his life and future was with Blaire, he found a way to neglect her in every book despite his adamant promises that no one else came before her. Dude, seriously. Get your head on straight and figure out who’s worth it and who’s not.

And this is just a personal thing, but the tongue piercing? No, thanks. I mean, I got it, Glines. Rush has piercings; Blaire likes it. I did not need the obsessive descriptions of his tongue piercing during every sex scene. But that’s just my preference. Plot & Writing: Let’s start out with some reading logistics. The Too Far series is the first four books of the Rosemary Beach series. All four books are about the relationship between Rush and Blaire. The fourth and last book, Rush Too Far, is I believe more or less a retelling of Fallen Too Far in Rush’s point of view given that the latter, the first book of the series, was solely in Blaire’s perspective. I did not read Rush Too Far; I might skim it later, but I don’t think anything in there will change my mind about my thoughts and conclusions of this series.

The second thing worth mentioning is the fact that the summary of the series and at least Fallen Too Far states that Rush and Blaire are step-siblings. Normally, I would then categorize this as a forbidden romance because some people might feel icky about that connection between the two characters when they’re going to be involved romantically. I, however, did not classify the series as such for two reasons. One, Glines rarely brings up that link between Rush and Blaire. They didn’t know each other until they met in the beginning of the first book. They did not grow up together and thus were not treated as siblings. And the second reason is that somewhere in Glines writing was I believe the fact that Blaire’s father and and Rush’s mother became separated or got divorced. It is unclear to me but given that we see Blaire’s father in the third book unattached to Rush’s mother indicates to me that they’re not together, which means that Rush and Blaire aren’t step-siblings anymore. Think of it as Josh and Cher from Clueless, will you? No blood relation. Not that icky overall.

Now, let’s talk about the actual writing. To sum it up, Glines needs to get a new editor pronto. For God’s sake, there were so many weird technical things about Glines’ writing that took away from the  overall story. COMMAS ARE YOU FRIEND. Use them wisely, prudently; USE THEM AND USE THEM WELL. And I’m pretty sure I saw some weird punctuation and dialogue errors that bothered me. I know you’re self-published; that shouldn’t excuse you from good editing. As well, the little inserts of Grant’s and Harlow’s perspectives in Forever Too Far to set the stage for the next part of the Rosemary Beach series that would feature them too? Totally unnecessary! Grant and Harlow have their fair share of time showing up in the Too Far series; I don’t need their sides to be invested in reading their books. And the fact that Glines inserted like a little author’s note type thing when she introduced Grant’s and Harlow’s POVs? This is not amateur fanfiction, Glines. You’re publishing this. You’re expecting people to buy these books. Be professional, yeah? Take out those sections and you eliminate this problem entirely.

And now we move onto the actual plot. Too sum this up? Too much drama may lead to inconsistencies. First of all, I personally didn’t even get the major conflict that was revealed at the end of the first book. Or at least, I just didn’t understand why it was so earth-shattering and devastating. Yes, I understand that people are tarnishing Blaire’s mother’s reputation and that Blaire shockingly found out that she’s supposedly related to Nan who is basically her number one enemy. But… I thought she overreacted? Like a lot? And yes, sure, it’s devastating that Rush knew this and BASICALLY THE ENTIRE TOWN SEEMED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS SECRET and kept it from her, but I really don’t get why she was so devastated. My mind was prepared for something epic to be revealed, but all I got was that Blaire’s dad neglected Rush and Nan’s mother and Nan as a child in favor of Blaire’s mother. Uh… I don’t know. Wasn’t that earth-shattering to me…

But then! In Never Too Far, all that supposedly shocking stuff revealed in the first book just kind of gets wiped out! Seriously. Glines basically rewrites her drama like this is a soap opera retconning bad storylines. Well, this whole series is like one bad teen soap anyway. So, spoiler alert, Nan is not Blaire’s father’s child; Nan is not half-siblings with Blaire like we were led to believe. Ugh. This decision was not a good one by Glines because it doesn’t make anyone look good and basically erases all the reactions and emotions conjured up by the original decision. I was disappointed. No, this second revelation by Blaire’s father did not change my mind about how I felt about all the characters involved, but I still thought it was a poor decision to make. Here, the writing felt inconsistent to me because instead of believing in one version of the story, I was distrusting of Glines and the writing as I inevitably waited for another major secret to reveal itself and change the facts that were previously established. That’s not really a way to keep readers hooked, if you ask me.

You know what else I had a problem with? Rush and Blaire seemed to have no ambition. Yes, fine, Rush is really rich. He kind of alludes to what else he does when it’s not summer, but I mean, is it an actual job? Does he have a job title? Does he just waste away and throw parties and do whatever he wants whenever he wants because he got a lot of money from ‘playing numbers’? And then Blaire. Yeah, she came from a kind of poor background and didn’t immediately have the opportunity for more schooling, but she seemed kind of aimless too. I mean, she had her priorities and was adamant about keeping a job, and yet once she and Rush were officially together, she seemed pretty content about… not doing anything. She said she didn’t want to mooch off of Rush. Honestly? That’s kind of what she’s doing…

And because this is me, I must mention the unsafe sex Rush and Blaire had, which subsequently led to Blaire’s pregnancy. I almost said teenage pregnancy, but I don’t know if Blaire turned twenty or not when she had the baby. Either way, she was still nineteen when she got pregnant! I mean, the first time they had sex, a condom was used, and I was so proud. But then there was no condom used and the pull-out method was mentioned. I hysterically cackle and curse every time the pull-out method is mentioned or used in books. And honestly, I’m still trying to understand why Glines decided to make Blaire pregnant. What purpose did it serve? Rush seemed to clearly want to be with Blaire regardless, so I honestly am not sure what the use of having Blaire pregnant was for the overall story. Let me also mention the fact that Glines kind of ghosted over actually writing when Blaire found out she was pregnant. There was the whole buying the pregnancy test thing, and then suddenly the girl is referencing her pregnancy and baby. I was like, whoa! Where was the part where she actually took the pregnancy test and found this information out? Is she actually pregnant because Glines never specifically stated! But alas, Blaire was indeed pregnant…

Finally, Rush and Blaire as a couple. Was it instalove? Yes. Did I believe in it? Kind of. Enough to give it a pass. Rush and his declarations of love were kind of cheesy to me, actually. I was digging his standoffish and yet possessive behavior in the first book, but then the stuff he said in the second and third books to Blaire about how much he loved her and would always put her first (when he didn’t!) was kind of corny. I did more or less buy the fact that both loved each other and couldn’t be without each other because it was nicely aided with a healthy dose of angst, which I admit to enjoying. So, yeah, I was sucked in to their relationship. Enough that I read all three books in the series despite all the other issues I had with the writing and story. Secondary Characters & Plots: Nan is the worst. THE WORST. The end.

No, but actually, I did rather enjoy most all of the secondary characters. Not any of the parents who were horrible people that didn’t understand what parenting and responsibility meant (save for Blaire’s mom), but the group of friends between Rush and Blaire, most of them were pretty cool. I didn’t think I would like Bethy, but she came around and was a great friend to Blaire. And I loved Jimmy too.

I did like Grant, Rush’s ex-stepbrother, up until the point in the third book where it was revealed that he had been sleeping with Nan and thought he could fall in love with her. I’m sorry, what?! I also was extremely grossed out when I read that because I originally thought Grant shared the same mother as Rush and Nan, and that would’ve made him and Nan blood siblings. Alas, worry not. I went back to reread and figure out that Grant was Rush and Nan’s stepbrother when his dad and their mom were married. I admit to my mistake. But still, I was disappointed that he would even go there, and that kind of ruined his character for me.

Woods Kerrington! I didn’t really like him in the beginning based off of first impressions of him, but Woods quickly became my favorite friend of the group. Seriously, he took care of Blaire when Rush was too busy trying to appease Nan and didn’t know that Blaire was pregnant. I mean, Woods took Blaire to her OB appointment! As a male friend! You don’t get any better than that. And he was basically the only one out of all the guys that actually worked and had a job and wanted a job and a career! Good for you, buddy! I skimmed all the summaries for the rest of the Rosemary Beach books, and I can tell you now that I am only going to read Woo Favorite Part(s): The scene in Fallen Too Far when Rush learns that all Blaire has been eating while staying in his house is the peanut butter sandwiches she makes from her own money. And in a very controlled way, he goes ballistic. At that point, it was clear to me that Rush was affected by Blaire and that he cared about her a lot and in more than just a sexual way. That was the alpha male side of Rush that I enjoyed. He always wanted to feed her after that! I not so secretly loved those moments. Final Thoughts: So, three and a half stars for a series I admittedly had some heavy criticism for and recommended as not worth it. Doesn’t make sense? Here’s why. Do I honestly believe after everything I said that this series is worth reading? No. See the entire plot and writing section for evidence why. Then why did I give this series three and a half stars? The angst. I said before, I’m a sucker for angst, and for all the cheesy stuff that Rush did say, I was personally kind of hooked to all his desperate moments when trying to win back Blaire and keep her. Yep. The sole reason this series gets three and a half stars is angst. In all honesty, if Glines cleaned up the series a lot and eliminated some poor drama choices, this would’ve gotten a higher rating. But unless a rewrite happens, the Too Far series is probably not worth your time (unless you’re really bored and want to check out the angst).