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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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House of Mouse April Fools Special: Donald’s Pumbaa Prank (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome to my April Fool’s Special! And it’s also my patreon review for the month as Kev just so happened to randomly hit this one and once I realized it was an april fools episode I moved it up since things have been kinda hectic in the old brainpan lately, and as such my output slowed down a bit so I really wasn’t in great shape to do 4 episodes in one day. So instead see what hyjinks, fart jokes and murders of beloved disney characters insue under the cut as the hosue of mouse gets a bit foolish

The Wraparound:

It’s April Fools day at the House of Mouse and Donald pulls a prank on MIckey by cutting his break lines.. wait no that was last year. No this year he just puts some wax on the stage and MIckey trips, Donald laughs. Now if this were the real world this would be really dangerous and probably destroy their friendship and MIckey’s spine. But this is a cartoon that runs on cartoon physics. He was in no real danger. So Mickey’s retaliation on the other hand.. is just showing embarassing footage of Donald. It makes him come off as unecessarily cruel as instead of an actual prank or joke it’s just “Hey look at this embarassing footage of my friend I dug up”

This plot DOES get a lot bettter though after the setup: Pete talks Donald into kidnapping Pumba, planning to use Pumbas farts to clear out the club...

Yeah i’m not big on fart jokes. I’m not against them, when used right they can be comedy gold.. this song from bobs burgers is one such example

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It’s just a lot of times farts and other bodily functions are used as the joke alone. That’s it. There’s no actual laughs or content too said laughs, i’ts jsut this is gross. Thankfully this episode does not go really deep down the grossdout rabit hole, as we don’t see the fart on screen.. but it still dosen’t make “Pumbas’ ass gas is going to destroy the house of mouse” funny.

There are some funny gags though: Donald’s method of distracting Timon so Pete can kidnap Pumbaa is to just stand there not saying anything and weirding Timon out , their replacement is just a bowling ball, two horns and a sack of something, and when Timon goes looking for Pumbaa, finds Zazu under a plate the hyena’s have.. and then just leaves him there. Seriously Timon just.. let’s Zazu die and I am here for it.

Donald meanwhile thinks Mickey is planning another prank after mickey apologizes and has a special thing planned but it’s really jsut a lifetime achivment award, so Donald tries to stop it, then reveals the truth when Pumba shows up.. and gets his award taken away. Even though he had every reason to think Mickey was going to pull something because honest as he is i’ts april fools day. Mickey just... obnoxious in this one and it speaks to a larger problem with the series I remember from when I was a kid that i’ve noticed once or twice now: The show tends to have Squidward Syndrome, i.e. it treats Donald who can be obnoxious as wrong.. even when he’s done nothing wrong THIS EPISODE, like spongebob did to squidward at times, or if he has done something wrong his punishment is dispororitante. Donald did a minor prank.. and MIckey publicly humiliated him and Donald TREID to stop his prank. And goes above and behond to stop it, taking the fart attack at ground zero. Speaking of which the fart attack scene from parks and rec, also a good fart joke.

And MIckey.. learns nothing by playing the test footage again even though Donald was just ground zero at an attomic level ass.

Final Thoughts for the Wraparound: It’s not great. I”m noticing that trend with Season 1 in general, where they really just didn’t have a ton of idea of what to do with the wraparounds. The episodes still vary in quality, but outside of the pilot most of the season 1 episodes are pretty disapointing as an adult, very simplistic plots that often don’t use the club’s nature to their full advantage or the characters to the same. It would get better though, but it’s something to notice. onto the shorts.

The Friend for Life: This is a pretty simple one. Sam and Max, are after the mad Thesipian, whose exactly what he sounds like. We even get a really neat visual gag as sam just.. uses his little buddy as a sword while the Thespian uses a candelabra. But while our Freelance Police catch the weirdo, and Max takes a ride in the saftey tramp they set up for the guy, he escapes when the two are distracted by Norm, THE FRIEND FOR LIFEEEEEEEE. An obessive fanboy played by Patrick Mackenna of the Red Green Show, esentially playing an older and stalkery version of Harold.. now I think about it this might be his dad. I mean we don’t know where he went or what hapepend to the guy. Maybe he just went to the states to obesss over a rabbit and Dog. I don’t know.

Lorne wants to help our heroes while Max understandably wants to run him over and sam just runs past him the minute they can. But despite finding the thespians layer Max: (Singsong) We’re here to arressttt youuu Sam: (Also singsong): Rememberrrrr.. crimesss against humanitty? But it turns out Lorne, THE FRIEEEND FOR LIFFFEEEE, kidnapped him and puts on a show for htem of fighting thier old eneimies and a roller coaster death trap. Our heroes escape and begrudignly thank lorne even if they find his stalker shrine a bit much.

Final Thoughts for The Friend For LIfe: A really solid episode and the fact i’ve binged several sam and max episodes since then really speaks to how good this one was. Seriously really funny stuff and I didn’t even cover half the great jokes in this one. Check it out, it’s on youtube.

Mickey’s April Fools: An odd one but a fun one. MIckey is taking his asshole pills and goes overboard with his pranks, faking proposing to Minnie and faking his death after Mortimer pranks him. But it works... I mean is it grossly out of character? Oh god yes. Would it have made more sense by swapping out Mickey, Minnie and Mortimer with Donald, Daisy and either the boys or pete? Entirely. Is this short still hilarous. Yup. While i’ts not the best they’ve done on the show, it’s still really entertaining. The two end up getting him back, MOrtimer by faking a will reading only to have it go really poorly for Mickey as his death was reported, donald refuses to help due to Mickey’s last words to mortimer being “I’ve never undestood him” and Goofy being.. goofy. And MIckey is left hanging from a pole by minnie because fuck him. An out of character one.. but the sheer oddity of mickey being this dickish in the house of mouse shorts makes it work. Be A Man: As a debut album for Randy Savage this Album is audotirally fucktacular, and with some polish randy could’ve had a long and successful rap career. As it stands, it is a sad one off not ein his career.

Critters: On an asteroid prison, a group of dangerous aliens known as Krites are set to be transported to another station. The Krites engineer an escape and hijack a ship, prompting the warden to hire two shape-changing bounty hunters to pursue them to Earth. Studying life on Earth via various satellite television transmissions, the first bounty hunter assumes the form of rock star Johnny Steele, while the second remains undecided, thus retaining his blank, featureless head. On a rural Kansas farm, the Brown family sits down to breakfast. Father Jay and mother Helen send teenage daughter April and younger son Brad off to school while waiting on mechanic Charlie McFadden. A former baseball pitcher, Charlie has become the town drunk and crackpot, with claims of alien abductions foretold by messages through his fillings.

Playing with overly potent self-made fireworks and Charlie's slingshot, Brad takes the blame when Charlie accidentally shoots April and is grounded as a result. On the roof that evening, Brad mistakes the Critters' crashing spaceship for a meteorite; Jay and Brad investigate and interrupt the creatures consuming a cow. The creatures thereafter kill and feed on a local police officer, and later besiege the farm and cut its electrical connection. While checking the circuit breaker, Jay is attacked by one of the Critters and, being severely wounded, just barely manages to escape

.In the barn, April is about to have sex with her boyfriend Steve when he is killed by the one of the Critters; the creature itself is slain when it devours one of Brad's lit firecrackers. The remaining Critters sabotage the Browns' and Steve's cars, forcing the Browns to hole up inside the main house. Meanwhile, the two bounty hunters search the town for the Critters, causing a panic at the church and bowling alley, with the second hunter assuming the form of various townspeople, including Charlie. Brad escapes the farm to get help and runs into the bounty hunters, and upon learning of their true nature and intentions, he leads them to the Critters' location.

The last surviving Critters kidnap April and return to their ship when the bounty hunters arrive, and attempt to flee. Charlie and Brad manage to rescue April, but Brad drops a large firecracker he intended to use to destroy the ship when the Critters discover their escape. Just as the Critters take off and destroy the farmhouse out of spite, Charlie throws a Molotov cocktail made from his whiskey bottle into the ship, causing a fire which detonates the cracker and kills the Critters. The bounty hunters leave in their ship after giving Brad a handheld device to contact them in case of future invasion, and also restore the house. Unbeknownst to them, Critter eggs can be seen in the barn inside a chicken's nest that seem to be ready to hatch.

Final Thoughts on Critters: Critters is a wonderful film, despite what Rapheal from the teenage mutant ninja turtles might think but fuck him he has scabies. It’s fun, energetic, and ahs a great premise of instead of it JUST being on our heroes to repel the invaders, their caught between two diffrent sets of aliens instead and instead of a chisled jawed heroes the good aliens are simply bounty hunters with no care about collateral and only doing a job. It’s a damn fine film and I still need to make time to watch the sequel.

Donald’s River Thing:

This is a simple one. Donald plans to go fishing, finds out it’s his and Daisy’s anniversary, her half birthday and valentine’s day and has to take her along and make it like a thing while being a dick about wanting to still fish, but in a very funny way while the local fish fight back. This is easily the standout of the episode incredibly funny, increidbly wholesome, and an incredibly good time. Really great stuff.

Invincible Episodes 1-3:

This seires is fucking fantastic and you should go watch it. GO WATCH IT.

Final Thoughts overall:

YOUR NOT WATCHING IT

Final Thoughts Overall: This is a decent episode not much to say except HIT IT BOYS

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#april fools day #the house of mouse #mickey mouse #donald duck #pete pete #minnie mouse #mortimer mouse #daisy duck #sam and max #timon #pumbaa #timon and pumbaa #invincible #critters #cheese #fine cheese

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alarawriting · 4 years ago

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52 Project #39: Seista Nikita

Wow, my brain is a sieve lately. I just didn’t notice it was getting to be 5 pm until it was almost 6.

I wrote this story originally in senior year of high school, in a college creative writing course. Even if your political views don’t change over time, the culture around them does. The Culare was a mockery of ridiculous extremes of environmentalism and animal rights, a la PETA and suchlike. I wouldn’t write a story like this nowadays because the pendulum’s gone so far in the other direction, I wouldn’t see that worthy of mockery, even though I still disagree with such extremes as much as I ever did. I am very fond of the trickster heroine, though, so I’m publishing it anyway. It’s kind of a stupid story, but I still think it’s funny. There have been some revisions made, so if you note things that didn’t exist in 1987, that is why.

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Once upon a time, in a distant province that never appeared on any map, probably because either a. it was too small to bother with or b. someone bribed the mapmaker, or possibly both, an evil beast called the Culare reigned. (It was pronounced like “Cool air”, but if anyone tried to spell it that way, the Culare would eat them.) Some said the Culare was an experimental mutation; others, an ecologist gone mad. The Culare was an intelligent lion-like being with teleportation powers who took the concept of “protecting the environment” to a degree so ludicrous, not even the most extreme environmentalist would support it. He refused to let the human beings in his province harm the native wildlife by picking it or killing it. That would have been reasonable, but he also wouldn’t let people pick anything they planted themselves, even on their own property. If the plant in question was native, he wouldn’t let them harvest it, and if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t even let people plant it, claiming it was an invasive species. And of course he wouldn’t allow anyone to raise animals for food. Not even unfertilized chicken eggs. (He also took a dim view of the cellophane wrapper industry.)

If people wanted to eat meat, they had to find roadkill, or something that had been killed by another predator. The problem was that the Culare thought that “protecting nature” meant preventing predators of any kind from killing other animals… which meant there were very few animals who’d died of anything other than starvation or disease as their populations exploded. If they wanted to eat vegetables or fruits, people had to find things that were lying around on the ground. In the beginning of the Culare’s reign, there had been shipments from other countries of rice, and bacon, and potatoes, and tomatoes, and whatever else people wanted to eat. But the Culare wouldn’t tolerate ships that consumed fossil fuels coming in to the ports, and the people of the small nation couldn’t pay enough to make it worth sending sailing ships. Also, packaging. If the food came in anything other than packaging made from recycled matter, which would biodegrade, the Culare would eat the people who brought it.

The Culare himself was sustained on sunflower seeds and papaya juice… when he wasn’t consuming errant humans.

(Some said the whole thing was a scam, giving the Culare an acceptably environmentally correct reason to eat people. None of them said it very loudly, though, or else they never said it more than once.)

One day, an old man who had once worked for a living making cellophane wrappers, and his 20-ish son Harold, were out, searching for rotten apples and fallen nuts to eat. It was hard enough to find such things, when the entire country was desperately trying to find the same things so they wouldn’t starve to death. It was made even more difficult by the fact that it was springtime. You might think that the reason springtime was an issue was that nothing had had a chance to get ripe enough to fall, and you’d be correct enough. But the bigger part of the problem was that Harold was in love, with a girl named Seista Nikita, and he seemed to think that he could live entirely off air, sunlight and his love. At least, one would suspect that from how much attention he was not paying to finding food.

The old man finally got ticked off at the way his son was paying next to no attention to the task at hand, and hobbled off.

“At last,” Harold thought. “That old geezer’s gone. Him and his stories about the glorious days of Saran Wrap! I’d much rather sit under a tree and think about Seista.” With that, he sat down under a tree and thought about Seista.

At the height of his romantic musings, he saw a bunch of flowers. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could pick them and give them to Seista,” he thought, ignoring the fact that Seista would probably prefer nearly anything to flowers. Quickly, he looked around. He saw no one. His hand reached out and he plucked the blossoms.

Suddenly there was a burst of acrid smoke, and a huge lion-like beast appeared in front of him, kind of like the Wicked Witch of the West. “The Culare!” Harold babbled, and tried to hide the flowers.

“SLEAZOID,” the Culare rumbled. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THOSE FLOWERS?”

“Well, it was – it was an accident, yeah. I – you see, I, I thought they were looking ill, that’s it, and I tried to lift them up to inspect them. Yeah, that’s it. And – and they accidentally came loose, yeah—”

“FOOLISH SLIMEBUCKET, DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE SUCH A RIDICULOUS STORY?”

“Oh, please don’t eat me!” begged Harold. “I’ll never do it again!”

“THAT’S WHAT THEY ALL SAY. BUT IT ISN’T GOOD FOR ME TO EAT A HEAVY MEAL THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING. I’LL COME BACK FOR YOU AT SUNSET.”

With that, the Culare vanished.

Harold ran straight to Seista Nikita’s house and told her the news. “And so we must be forever separated, beloved,” he said, tears in his eyes. “For I am doomed! At sunset tonight, I am destined to lose my life at the hands of the Culare. The paws? The claws? I’m not sure ‘hands’ is the correct thing to say here…”

Seista sighed. “You would go and do something like this, wouldn’t you? Stop moaning like that, you sound like a dead cow. I’ll kill the Culare for you and save your idiot backside. Okay?”

“Okay,” Harold sniffed.

So Seista Nikita put on her very tall platform shoes. These shoes were easily a foot and a half tall. You wouldn’t think anyone would be able to walk in such shoes, unless maybe they went to clown college and learned how to use stilts. Seista was a very acrobatic and skilled young woman, though, so while she wobbled a bit, she managed to stay upright all the way to the nearest meadow, which was badly overgrown with wildflowers, pokeweed, ground cover plants, and about half a billion tiny mimosa seedlings. She began to pick flowers and toss them into the air.

The Culare appeared. “SLEAZOID!” he boomed.

“Come and get me, shag-face!” Seista yelled, which was a reference to his lion-like mane rather than some sort of rude reference to a private activity. She kicked off her shoes, directly in front of the Culare, and ran. The Culare tried to pursue, but he tripped over her shoes and broke a forepaw.

“Damn,” Seista said, after escaping. “Those shoes were big enough that he should have tripped over them and broken his neck.” The thought occurred to her that perhaps she should have factored in the fact that he had four legs, and therefore had better balance than she’d accounted for. “I’ll just have to think of something else!”

An hour later, after getting into sneakers and sensible clothes, she climbed a tall cherry tree, went up as far as she could before the branches could no longer hold her weight, and began to pick cherry blossoms. It wasn’t long before the Culare appeared. “YOU AGAIN?”

“Nah, nah, nah nyah nah!” Seista taunted. She was tall and strong and very acrobatic and fairly smart, but she was, admittedly, more than a little childish.

The Culare leapt at the tree and began to climb up. Seista waited until it had almost reached her, then dropped, letting go of the branch she was on… having already checked that there was another branch right below her. From there, she clambered down as fast as she could go. She figured that would hold him until he starved to death; the Culare was obviously a type of cat, and cats are terrible at climbing down trees.

So she went home to Harold, who was watching a Tarzan movie. It was an animated Disney reboot in 3D. “Well, I took care of that problem.”

“Really?” Harold turned, his 3D glasses sliding off his face. “O my beloved, my thanks know no bounds—”

“Skip it.”

A bulletin interrupted the Tarzan movie. “We interrupt this movie for an important bulletin.” This was impressively implausible, since the movie was on a streaming service and you wouldn’t think anything could break into and interrupt one of those.

The Culare’s face appeared on the television. “SEISTA NIKITA, IF YOU’RE OUT THERE, YOU’RE DEAD!”

Seista stared in shock, as the movie resumed. How had he gotten out of that tree? …oh yeah, he could teleport. She probably should have thought of that.

“I thought you said you took care of it!” Harold whined.

“Shut up, I’m trying to think.” Tarzan swung across the jungle floor on a vine. The 3D was powerful enough that he visibly swung toward Seista, despite the fact that she wasn’t wearing 3D glasses. “Oh! That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“Harold.” She patted his very handsome cheeks. “I love you dearly but you’re too stupid to know what I’m talking about.”

***

Nearby, there was a ravine, where Seista found a tree on one side. With a very long rope, tied to an upper branch of the tree, and a rock tied to one side of it, she flung the rope to the other side, getting it caught on the other side of a bush. There was a bridge a few hundred feet away; she ran down to it, crossed it, and went back to the bush.

With the rope held in one hand, she picked a dandelion.

The Culare appeared. “THAT’S IT! YOU’RE DEAD!”

As he leapt at her, Seista grabbed the rope and swung to the other side. The Culare roared and leapt at her, apparently unable to see the cliff through the bush. It turned out he couldn’t teleport if he was in midair; he fell to his death in the ravine below.

She and Harold were married the next week. Three months after that, Seista left Harold to find herself, and ran away to a country where she worked as a stuntwoman in movies. Harold mooned over her for another month before finding his next true love. Seista herself never married again, having decided that being tied down by romance wasn’t for her… particularly since she seemed to be sexually attracted to idiots. She had many fun and satisfying sexual relationships with people whose stupidity didn’t have to impact her life very much.

#52 Project #comedy #trickster tale #fairy-tale-ish

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nadziejastar · 6 years ago

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It seems like Isa and Lea’s relationship will never be the same. They’ll never truly mend it bc we’re going to forced with Sea Salt Trio (Quadruplets I guess) moments instead. And that’s cute and all but Isa’s character got so badly shafted and treated like shit. And it leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

Saïx’s TRUE Purpose: The Power of Love

Xion: “…It was my choice…to go away now. Better that, than to do nothing…and let Xemnas have his way. I belong with Sora. And now, I am going back…to be with him. Roxas…I need you…to do me a favor. All those hearts that I’ve captured�� Kingdom Hearts… Set them free.”

Roxas: “Kingdom Hearts… Free them?”

Xion: “It’s too late…for me to undo my mistakes. But you can’t let Xemnas…have Kingdom Hearts. You can’t. Good-bye, Roxas. See you again. I’m glad…I got to meet you. Oh…and of course, Axel, too. You’re both my best friends. Never forget. That’s the truth.”

I couldn’t agree more. I refuse to sugar-coat it: Isa got treated like SHIT. The conclusion to his story was so poorly-written, that it’s insulting to the players’ intelligence. And I totally agree that Lea and Isa’s relationship could never be the same. How could it? It was never acknowledged that Isa was a victim of Xehanort. He deserved the same level of empathy that Terra got from his friends after getting possessed. He deserved to get rescued with the power of waking and restored to his former self. In KH3, he got none of this. Instead, Lea was mad at him for “letting” himself get reduced to being Xehanort’s vessel. I’m not even looking forward to seeing their relationship in the future games because I don’t feel that the real Isa even came back.

I also agree that they are most likely going to push the Sea-Salt Trio FAR more than the relationship between Lea and Isa. It seems like they are going to push the angle of Skuld being Isa’s love interest, and Isa will be much more involved with her going forward than Lea or anyone else. He did say he “sacrificed everything” for her. I have no interest in that whatsoever. I view it not as a genuine pairing, but more of a desperate attempt to deflect from the original idea that Square-Enix and Disney were too cowardly to allow Nomura to follow through with: the idea of romantic love between two males. That is a terrifying idea to many people. But that’s exactly why it was so important.

Day 276: Behind the Truth

Saïx would laugh at people with no hearts calling one another friends, but that doesn’t make it not so.

From a writing standpoint, I don’t think it was appropriate that Roxas and Xion became the focal point Isa’s redemption arc. Those relationships and character arcs are entirely separate. Lea and Isa’s relationship with each other should have been the focus of his redemption. KH3 sent the message that only Lea’s friendship with Roxas and Xion was worth anything. I have noticed that many fans don’t even think Roxas and Xion should forgive Isa, and they disliked how friendly they were with him in the ending. That demonstrates just how badly KH3 failed with Isa’s character arc, and properly differentiating him from his Xehanort-possessed self, Saïx.

Day 352: What I Must Do

I love Roxas and Axel. I’m sure Saïx would scoff at that. Call it a trick of my artificial memories. But the time I spent on that clock tower was real.

I thought that Roxas and Xion’s friendship with Axel was not only very sweet, but very meaningful. 358/2 Days is a well-written story. KH3 is…not a well-written story. Xion sacrificed herself so that Xemnas would not win. She was more concerned with Roxas and Axel’s well-being than her own. Xion’s name means, “forget-me-not”. She may disappear, but she’ll never forget her friends, nor will she be ever forgotten by them. That is the power of the heart. The power of love. Roxas, Xion and Axel’s friendship sent a very beautiful message. Lea’s relationship with Isa was supposed to accomplish the same thing: send a very beautiful message about the power of love. Unfortunately, this important message got totally thrown by the wayside.

Larxene: “So, love has filled both their hearts with light.”

Naminé added data to Jiminy’s Journal in order to convey that the “pain” of those connected to Sora must be healed. Nomura said that Ansem’s research results would become the key to healing the “pain” of the characters in KH3. He said that data contained the details explaining the way to connect lost hearts. A press release for KH3 released in 2013 mentions something called the “Key to Return Hearts”. Here is what Nomura said about this key when asked about it in an interview:

There are two possible meanings of the “key.” One of which is the “hardware” key, which opens doors - this is what keys are in general, and the other is the “light” key, that opens something else. In this case, it is currently unknown as to which type of key Sora must find. This is the main storyline of Kingdom Hearts III - Sora must go on an adventure to find the “key” without knowing what or where it is.

The “key” being referred to was implied to be a key of light. The 7 Guardians of Light are important for more than their ability to wield a Keyblade. Their hearts have another power. The power of light. This light grants one the power to restore a lost heart. And the power of light…is love. That is the power of waking. Anna sacrificed herself for Elsa. That is the most powerful form of love that exists. Like the memories of Xion, it can never be lost or destroyed. It is the key to rebirth and new life.

Ansem the Wise: “Sora has a heart like that–uncorrupted, willing to see the good before the bad. When he sees the heart in something, it then becomes real. When a connection seems broken, he may have the power to mend it.”

Isa’s character deserved so much better. Instead of healing his pain, or doing anything with the concept of light or love, his redemption arc consisted of…procuring replicas, then quietly shuffling off into the background—even while Xemnas tried to kill his best friend right before his eyes. Again, it merely felt like deflection. Quick! Focus on Lea and Isa’s relationship with Skuld that never even existed until 5 seconds ago! How do we redeem Isa now? Just have him bring back Roxas and Xion! It doesn’t matter that Seekers of Darkness are not supposed to be capable of free will! Just do it!

Anything!! Anything to NOT focus on the love that exists between two male characters. Platonic love between friends and family is perfectly fine. Romantic love between a male and a female is perfectly fine. But romantic love between two males? That is NOT perfectly fine. I have no respect such artistic cowardice. I don’t know if this series is for me anymore, if the future is more oversimplified, big budget spectacles that are not allowed to take any risks with the story or characters.

“Kairi!” Axel shouted again as the girl struggled against Saïx’s hold. He readied his chakrams to hurl at Saïx when a powerful shock wave hit him.

“Traitors like you deserve to lose everything,” Saïx said.

Axel grunted and collapsed to his knees in pain from the direct hit. After only one strike, he felt his consciousness fading. His vision was going black. He couldn’t even tell whether he saw Saïx disappear with Kairi into the dark portal or whether that was only his own eyes closing.

Is this how I get turned into a Dusk…?

Saïx is not just completely cold to Axel emotionally. He tries to kill him when he turns on the Organization. This never happened in the original game, or even the Final Mix+ version. They decided to have Saïx try and kill Axel AFTER they came up with the idea of them being former best friends and (presumably) Isa partying with everyone in the ending.

“Don’t worry about that! Just go!” A Nobody glommed on to his arm, but Axel shook it off and hurled a chakram at it.

Right. Don’t worry about the why. I don’t even know the answer myself.

As he tried to catch his breath, more Nobodies set upon him. Pain surged like a fresh blow from the wound Saïx had dealt him.

Saïx was the one who gave Axel the fatal wound that would weaken him by the time he met Sora. Because Axel was already fatally wounded, he sacrificed the last bit of his life to atone for his actions.

Axel could remember fighting like this beside Roxas…

He wanted to fight that way again. He wished they had talked more, about lots of things. About nothing. He wanted to talk to his friend again.

But why do I feel this way if Nobodies have no hearts?

His time was running out, thanks to Saïx.

They made it abundantly clear that it was Saïx who was responsible for Axel’s demise.

“We don’t disappear… We’re only reborn,” Naminé murmured, perhaps to herself.

“I’m not like you and Roxas,” Axel said flatly. His hand holding the ice pop stick paused in midair.

“But—but you…” She looked down, clenching her fists.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

Axel truly did not believe he was going to have a “next life”. At the time of his death, he would have felt utterly alone and hopeless. Why would they have bothered making a character like Saïx his former best friend, unless they had something major to reveal about him later?

Luxord: “Perhaps he was ready for it. Perhaps he put his existence on the line and won what he’d been longing for.”

Saix: “That’s absurd. He won nothing, and IS nothing. He couldn’t stand the emptiness of being without a heart. And THAT led to his demise. He was foolish and weak.”

This is what Saïx says right after the the Organization learns of Axel’s death. Saïx genuinely wanted Axel dead. He was a traitor. Yet he looks to the floor with a troubled look, when Luxord says that Axel got what he was longing for. Saïx is seemingly confused about where his conflicted feelings are coming from. It seemed to me that he genuinely had no clue why he was so angry and sad about Axel. It truly made no sense to him. The way he acted reminded me of when Sora cried while saying goodbye to Hayner, Pence, and Olette at the train station. Sora couldn’t understand why he was so sad, because they weren’t really his feelings that he was experiencing.

Saïx: “Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.”

This is what Saïx says right after Axel deserts the Organization to find Roxas. In fact, every new scene with Saïx in KH2FM+ involved his relationship with Axel.

Saïx: “There’s something I’ve meant to ask.”

Xemnas: “About Axel? The poor fool. How long will he keep chasing the illusion of friendship, when he himself lacks emotion? Trying so hard to retrieve what he has lost, when it may never have existed in the first place. He deserves nothing more than our pity.”

After Axel meets Sora in Hollow Bastion, Saïx asks about him. He actually seems concerned, which is uncharacteristic of him. Then Xemnas makes his cryptic comment about Axel STILL chasing the illusion of friendship. He truly pities Axel, and thinks he’s a fool.

“Vile traitor!” The great Claymore took shape at Saïx’s back. Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow.

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here.

Saïx fatally wounded Axel. He later feels sadness and grief over this, but doesn’t know why. Likewise, Axel knows Saïx wants him dead and doesn’t care about him any more. He wastes no time grabbing his chakrams to defend himself. But his body is reluctant somehow, and he doesn’t seem to know why, either. Despite how hopeless their situation is, they are continually drawn towards each other. There’s still a heart connection there. Lea and Isa’s relationship was supposed to be a VERY big deal in the future of the story. It really was not that hard to see.

Saïx: “You’re the one who went off and made other friends. Left me in the dust. I lost…all sense of purpose.”

It’s SO obvious what Saïx’s “purpose” was. His purpose was Axel! He just didn’t realize it. Isa’s heart was able to subconsciously influence how Saïx felt at certain times, particularly after Axel left the Organization. Isa still cared about Lea, and after he was gone, his heart lost its purpose. Saïx had no clue about any of this, though. He would just become enraged at Axel due to the inexplicable pain he was feeling because of him. Saïx wasn’t being too stubborn to admit his feelings. He genuinely didn’t understand them.

Xemnas: “Hearts full of rage, of hate…of sadness and bliss. Shining down upon us is the heart of all hearts—Kingdom Hearts. There in the sky hangs the promise of a new world. We will conquer hearts and make them our own. Hearts shall never again have power over us.”

Xemans hated how strong the heart was. He wanted to have full control over a person, and the heart was an obstacle to that. Yet he couldn’t turn someone into a vessel without a heart. It was why he conducted the mind control experiments in the first place. The Recusant’s Sigil is a symbol of his desire to conquer the heart and make it his own. When Xemnas is talking, the camera zooms in on the moon.

The moon hung in the sky outside the window, a great glowing heart. Sprawled in bed, Axel stared at it without really looking, idling the time away before he had to leave on a mission.

“We will conquer hearts and make them our own. Hearts shall never again have power over us.”

For the past few days, he had been mulling over what Xemnas could have meant by that speech. Hearts having power over them? What was that about? Whenever Axel was whiling away the hours by himself, that phrase kept bouncing around in his head. He didn’t know what was so compelling about it.

Axel had no idea what Xemnas was talking about underneath the moon that day, and it really bothered him. He was pondering this very issue when Saïx came in to interrogate him about Xion, much to his displeasure. Xemnas’ speech was very important.

No. VII SAÏX

Second in command who longs for the heart he does not have. Only the moon breaks his icy calm.

Saïx was always staring at the moon, longing for the heart he does not have. He has a Recusant’s Sigil scar on his face. It only makes sense that Isa was Subject X in the mind control experiments, and he was the sole subject whose heart didn’t collapse, turning him into a vessel. The survival of his heart would have been possible if he sacrificed himself out of love, just like his “Bunnymoon” weapon symbolized. The rocket to the moon was launched directly from a heart.

“Sora or Xion—it matters not. But we need one of them under our control. Bear that in mind.”

Saïx nodded, and a serene smile came to Xemnas’ face. If that smile meant anything it was beyond him.

Xemnas was completely confident that he won the battle over Isa’s heart.

“Don’t let us down now, kiddo. Shouldn’t be too much trouble without a heart,” Xigbar told Saïx.

Xigbar was totally confident about this as well.

In the Round Room, Saïx looked up at Xemnas high above.

“Are you sure we’re dealing with Xion and Roxas the right way?”

His tone was markedly different from usual, as if he spoke to an old friend rather than a superior.

Isa’s heart was captured and his body is now a vessel. Despite wanting to overthrow him, the novel describes Saïx’s demeanor with Xemnas as that of an old friend. Saïx’s heart is one with Xehanort’s, even if he doesn’t know it. On the other hand, Isa’s captured heart is full of rage, hate, and sadness. These feelings come out in his Berserk State under the light of the moon. But the last emotion that Xemnas mentioned was…bliss. And that seemed like foreshadowing.

Axel gazed out at the sunset, as red as ever. That color still looked the same to him now as it had when he was human. Some things didn’t change even when you became a Nobody.

Axel was always gazing into the sun, even before he became a Nobody.

The sun sank lower and lower as Axel watched, his mind wandering.

If he stared for too long, the image would burn itself into his eyes, visible even after his eyes were closed.

A phantom sun.

Someone had once told him why sunsets were red… Who was that?

In the novel, he was doing just that right before he gives Roxas and Xion his “hokey speech”.

“I just…want these days to last forever,” Roxas murmured, slow and pensive. “Hanging out after the job’s done, eating ice cream, watching the sunset…”

Axel peered at his profile as he did just that. The sunset’s glow touched Roxas’s face and Xion’s with warm red.

“Well, nothing lasts forever,” Axel mumbled, looking off to the side again. “Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies.”

At that, both of their expressions fell.

Seriously, you two? You’re always grinning or getting bummed out…just like real live people with hearts. Axel exhaled and gathered some words. “But, you know, hanging out every day isn’t the only thing that matters. We’ll still have one another, even if that changes.”

“Really?” Roxas perked up.

“Yeah. As long as we remember one another, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?”

He was clearly thinking about Isa beforehand.

Axel’s face was limned with the sunset’s glow, his red hair shining crimson.

“Bet you don’t know why the sun sets red.” He eyed Roxas mischievously. “You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.”

When Axel uses his famous line about why the sun sets red, it even zoomed in on the sun—just like it did with the moon earlier, when Xemnas was giving his speech about the ability to conquer the power of the heart. In 358/2 Days, the Moon Arcana of Luxord’s Tarot cards is “Dual Gear.” Axel’s weapon in that category is called “Dive Bomb”. The Sun Arcana of Luxord’s Tarot cards is “Hazard Gear.” Saïx’s weapon in that category is called “Light Year”.

Roxas: “So he wasn’t fighting to protect the rose. He was protecting the people in the castle. Protecting her. She’s what matters most to him. But…Xaldin said it was the rose.”

Xaldin: “Feh. Cloying nonsense.”

Roxas: “Xaldin… When did you get here?”

Xaldin: “That’s none of your concern. Hmph. Love, from a beast? How utterly ridiculous.”

Just look at the way Xaldin speaks about the power of love. He couldn’t even tell that the Beast valued Belle more than the rose.

Roxas: “Love? What’s that?”

Xaldin: “It’s an emotion. The one deluding those two as we speak.”

Roxas: “Oh…”

Xaldin: “They think the power of love will save them? That’s the stuff of poetry, not practicality.”

Roxas: “Love is a power?”

Xaldin: “None you or I will ever grasp. Nor will they, for long. The love between them will wither and die. Love never lasts.”

He says it’s not a power that he or Roxas will ever grasp.

Xaldin:“Our work here is done. We have the Beast’s weakness.”

Roxas: “We do?”

Xaldin: “That which we treasure has power over us, Roxas. His heart is captive to it. And that makes it his weakness.”

Roxas: “Captive…? I don’t get it.”

Xaldin: “Nor should you. You have no heart to love with. Let’s not linger here.”

In KH2, Xaldin tried to use the Beast’s love for Belle as a weapon, to turn him into a Heartless and Nobody. He wants absolutely nothing to do with love. To him, it’s nothing but weakness that make the heart a captive. I’m sure that’s exactly how Xemnas and Xigbar viewed the feelings “X” had for Lea. Like Xaldin, they would have used Isa’s love as a weapon, to turn him into a captive.

“Do you know what love is?”

“…’Scuse me?”

“It’s something powerful, right? Where does it come from?” Roxas was completely in earnest.

Love… Huh.

“It is powerful, but it’s not a power we get to have.” Axel had very little confidence in his ability to explain it. But whenever Roxas or Xion had questions about the mysteries of the human heart, he did his best to answer.

Compare the way Axel speaks about love to the way Xaldin spoke of it. Axel really wants to experience love, but he thinks he never will. And this deeply saddens him.

“Nobodies can’t love?” Roxas asked.

“Nope. You need a heart for that.”

“Oh… Right.” Roxas fell quiet, pensive.

Axel kept talking. “Love is what happens when there’s something really special between people.”

“More special than friends? Like…if they’re best friends? Inseparable?”

“Well, you can care about your friends, but that’s not exactly it…” Axel paused, groping for words that might make sense to Roxas.

“So it’s a step above best friends?”

“No—it’s not about steps.”

Roxas looked bewildered. As he’d expected, he wasn’t doing a very good job explaining it.

Axel thinks he cannot experience love until Kingdom Hearts is completed. Of course, this is just the lie that Xemnas told them. He used Axel’s desire for love as a weapon, to gain his cooperation and turn him into a vessel. Axel already has the ability to love.

“Not that it matters. We’ll never know the difference.”

Roxas wouldn’t let it go. “Do you think we would, if we had hearts?”

“Once Kingdom Hearts is complete, I bet you’ll be able to figure it out.” The magic words again, Axel thought. It’ll all make sense when Kingdom Hearts is complete. But was that true? No one had ever seen it happen before. So who knew? Still, all they could do was believe in it.

Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts…

“Kingdom Hearts, huh…?” Roxas said under his breath, gazing out at the sunset.

Axel watched his wistful profile and sighed silently.

Like Xaldin, Axel tells Roxas that neither of them can grasp the power of love. But they do so for entirely different reasons. Xemans and Xaldin are trying to complete Kingdom Hearts to conquer the power of love. Roxas and Axel are trying to complete Kingdom Hearts to experience the power of love.

Xemnas: “Ah, ever the rogue pawn. Knocked from the board early in the game. Utterly useless and forgotten. Now it ends. I will purge that light in you…with darkness!”

During the final battle, Xemnas feels like he’s won yet again. He thinks that Lea is a loser who has been forgotten about. He is confident that Isa’s heart has been conquered. He is so confident that he attacks Lea right in front of Saïx, knowing that he won’t do anything.

His words of being superior are reminiscent of the speech he gave while he was standing under the heart-shaped moon. Yet unlike before, Lea is defiant this time. He says that Xemans was never his superior. I have no doubt that Axel’s Mystery Gear weapon with the Recusant’s Sigil, was a reference to his final battle with Xemnas.

Aqua: “It’s the power of true love that defeated you.”

Maleficent: “I will not be defeated by something as insignificant as love.”

Aqua: “You don’t even know the first thing about it. You’re too clouded bydarkness to see that there’s something greater.”

The message of Kingdom Hearts is that Aqua was right.

Terra: “No more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love.”

The message of Kingdom Hearts is that Terra was right.

Yen Sid: “Just as long as you love him…then Ventus will be able to find you when he wakes. He can follow that love back to where he belongs–the realm of light.”

Love is so powerful, it can even lead Ventus back to the Realm of Light. That’s what the whole concept of the power of waking is.

Day 150: Too Precious to Lose

Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something.

Lea’s Keyblade is called the “Flame Liberator”. The Phoenix rising from the ashes represents the alchemical process of transformation, rebirth, and liberation. It’s the red stage of Rubedo, where a person finally realizes their true nature, and they are liberated from ignorance and suffering. But Xemnas destroys Lea’s Keyblade, leaving him totally powerless. Xemnas is about to finish him off, right in front of Saïx.

Sora: “But if I put aside the hurt, I’ll lose my only ties to people that I cared about. No. My mind’s made up. I want to carry this hurt with me. I can be free of it the day I remember, but until then, it’s what holds together the pieces I left behind…and I accept it.”

Lea’s Keyblade may be broken, but he doesn’t need it. There’s another Key to Return Hearts. The “light” key Nomura mentioned. The power of love. No matter how much pain it caused, neither Lea nor Isa’s hearts could forget about each other. This should have been the moment where Isa’s heart showed its true power. Love is NOT a weakness. Love is what prevented Isa’s heart from being destroyed in the first place, unlike every other test subject. And love makes his heart so powerful, it refuses to submit to Xemnas’ will. This is exactly what the true meaning of a recusant is.

In canon, the relationship between Saïx and Axel felt totally pointless. Being told at the last minute that Lea and Isa became apprentices to look for Skuld is nothing but sequel bait. There was no underlying message to that revelation. It had no thematic value whatsoever pertaining to the Xehanort Saga. There was no ultimate meaning to Isa becoming Xehanort’s vessel and then reviving his friendship with Lea again. Lea and Isa’s relationship had no narrative purpose. But…it was supposed to.

No. I XEMNAS

Organization XIII’s leader. Through power over nothing, he seeks power over everything.

The true purpose of Lea and Isa’s relationship was to prove all the villains wrong. No matter how much he would like to, Xehanort cannot conquer the power of the heart, which is love. Like his description says, he has power over NOTHING.

#anti-kh3 #kh meta #kh #kingdom hearts meta #kh axel #kh saix #akusai #kh leaisa #kh isalea #kh xemnas #kh organization xiii #kh lea #kh isa

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khadij-al-kubra · 6 years ago

Text

Can I Bar-row Your Attend-tion (ch. 4)

Pairing: Roman/Patton

Characters: Roman, Patton, Logan, Virgil, Thomas, Joan, Talyn, Valerie, Terrence, Dio (Deceit), (some OCs)

Word Count: (I know, I know, it’s long. I’m sorry! I couldn’t settle on a good stopping point. XO )

Summary: Roman and Patton are two bartenders at a local bar & grill with some serious chemistry. However, the only people who don’t realize it are each other, and one of them is in a relationship…on the rocks.

Author’s Note: Hey friends! A thousand pardons for the late update! It’s been crazy in my life lately. Thank you so much for your patience, and don’t worry, we’re nearing the home stretch. Again I am SO thankful to see all the positive feedback so far and am happy you’re enjoying it! If you’d like to be in the tag list for future chapters in the Bar & Grill AU or other works by me, let me know. And as always feel free to leave a comment in the messages or reply if you have any notes or constructive critiques. I’m always open to writing advice. Oh, and buckle up, ‘cause this chapter is gonna get angsty. Enjoy!

<--PREVIOUS

Chapter 4: Bad News Served Neat (POV- Patton)

Patton missed Roman. He knew it was sort of ridiculous, but it was true. Roman was getting busier with the rehearsal nights, and even though he knew it was only temporary, Patton missed having the flamboyant creative man working beside him those few nights a week at the bar and grill. Missed his smile, missed the excessive gestures whenever he spoke to others, missed the way his nose crinkled before a sneeze, missed his deep hearty laugh and the way he whistled Sondheim songs while cleaning the mixer.

Patton knew he had feelings for the actor, but it wasn’t until they’d danced together three days ago that he realized juts how deep he was in. Part of him felt guilty for it, heartless even, because he was still in a committed relationship with someone else. But the heart is its own master he supposed. Patton had spent the entire weekend thinking about it. On Saturday he overfilled the food bowls at the shelter while daydreaming about kissing Roman. And on Sunday he burnt a batch of brownies replaying their conversations in his head. Only friends… For just a moment he had thought Roman was going to kiss him, that maybe he actually felt something more for Patton. Of course that’d be too good to be true. Patton sighed sadly and took out a mini chocolate chip.

“Excuse me, where is my drink order?” asked a new customer at the bar.

“Just a second,” said Patton. He stuffed the cookie in his mouth and finishing his line of orders.

Remy hadn’t shown up yet, later than usual even by his standards, so Patton was left to build drinks alone. Unfortunately for him it was a busier night, the old place filled with both old and new faces, and it was only 8pm. Patton hadn’t even taken his dinner break yet because he didn’t want to let Logan down. The poor businessman tried to pitch in when he could, but Logan also had to man the front register. Even Joan and Talyn were too busy to stop and say hi.

“Here you go. Sorry for the wait,” he said, handing over the tequila sunrise. “We’re a bit understaffed today.”

“Clearly,” the customer said stiffly, straightening her grey blazer. Patton pouted at her. Meany.

“Aaand here is your wine Valerie. Sorry for the hold up,” he smiled apologetically.

“Oh don’t worry sweetie. I can tell you’re busy,” she said, reaching over her half eaten plate of house salad and wings to pat his arm.

“Thanks for understanding kiddo.” He gave her a smile before getting back to work.

“So is it true that you and Roman actually broke into song and dance?” she asked, her big brown eyes sparkling.

“Yep. He was having a bad day and, well, I just had to cheer him up somehow. And you know he’s such a big Disney fan.” Patton sighed at the memory fondly. “It was really nice…and Logan hadn’t even been mad.”

“Awwww! I can’t believe I missed it! Wait till I tell Jas and Calypso, they are going to flip out.”

“Well you can tell them you heard it straight from your ol’ pal Patton. I wouldn’t want them to think you were being phony...Get it? …Like a flip phone?”

“Oh, right, ha-ha…” Valerie laughed, but even Patton knew it wasn’t his best joke.

“Anywho, back to work. There you are fellas. Three beers,” he said to three burly men in Roman’s section, smiling brightly at the new faces.

“Thanks,” said the one in the middle.

Normally Patton would take the time to talk a bit more with the new customers, make them feel welcomed. Tonight however his heart just wasn’t in it. No, his heart was somewhere else, and that made him feel guilty. Because even with his thoughts focused on Roman lately, part of his brain was still hooked on another man. One whom he felt was slipping father away. He munched another cookie.

Patton shook the bad thoughts welling up from his head and took a tray with three drinks to the far dinner tables. He brought one to a regular customer Madeline at table 14, stopping to say hi to her seeing-eye dog Jerico, and then brought the other two to table 12. There sat Terrence and a pretty red head he’d already taken here to eat twice before.

“Alrighty, here we go. One rum and coke for you Terrence, and one Scotch for you lovely date.”

“You’re the best Patton,” said Terrence.

“Daww same to you kiddo. Let me know if you have any problems with this tiger,” he said to the girl as he teasingly elbowed the policeman’s shoulder.

“You’re right Terrence, he is a riot,“ said the redhead, giggling at her date’s embarrassed face. “You don’t have to worry though, he’s been a perfect gentleman.”

Even with his coco skin tone and the low lighting Patton could tell that Terrence was blushing like a beet. “Uh well…thanks… y-you too o-of course. Uh, N-not a gentleman! I mean, not that you’re a man, like, gentle…woman…”

The girl merely laughed and smiled at him. Terrence smiled bashfully back. This is so pure, Patton thought wistfully. He left them alone, but couldn’t help looking back with a sigh. What he wouldn’t give to spend a night like that with a certain someone. Guilt welled up in him again as he realized the man in his fantasies wasn’t his boyfriend. Which it should’ve been, right? Because that was the right thing to think about? People in relationships should be thinking about the person they were in the relationship with. Not someone else. Wasn’t that betraying the other person?

Suddenly the image of Roman’s warm smile and strong arms wrapped gently around him popped into Patton’s mind. It made him smile, but then he frowned just as quickly with guilt.

“Patton, how are you holding up? You seem distressed,” Logan said, coming over to the bar.

“Oh it’s okay Logan,” he said, snapping back to attention. “I’m doing fine. Really.”

“Apologies that I cannot help more.”

“I’m handling things alright. It isn’t your fault.”

“While that is kind of you it is indeed my responsibility as your employer. A foolish mistake on my part, thinking I could count on my cousin for assistance. Then again, he did need the work. Regardless, I have messaged Roman to see if there was any possibility of him coming in later to help you with closing up the bar.”

“Oh! Well, that works.” Patton said, unable to hide his giddiness at the possibility of seeing Roman.

“So far no word, but I shall keep you updated. Meanwhile, I’m going to see if I can’t get at all in touch with Remy on his whereabouts.” Logan took out his cellphone and vehemently dialed a number. His mouth was stretched in a thin line of impatience. “Remy, it’s Logan. Where the hell are you?”

Logan walked away with the phone, but Patton heard Remy from the other line saying, ‘I have, like, NO idea!’

You’d think being busy with work would have taken Patton’s mind off of things, but nope. If anything he was stuck even further into the swirling whirlpool of unpleasant thoughts and memories. Like Friday night when Dio had to cancel another one of their dates, telling him something came up at work. Patton had been sad, but honestly he was sadder about the fact that he wasn’t surprised than by the cancellation itself. It had even taken away some of the joy he’d felt after singing and dancing with Roman. Sure, Dio had made it up to him by taking him out to dinner Saturday night at his favorite restaurant, but Patton’s heart just wasn’t in it. Wasn’t in the relationship anymore. He couldn’t help feeling guilty over that, probably because he was too nice for his own good. Then again, Dio didn’t seem so invested in the relationship lately either.

Patton wasn’t as naïve as people made him out to be. He could tell that the flame between him and Dio wasn’t as bright as it had been the first three months of their relationship. Things had been so wonderful back then. Patton remembered the first time they met in the park, how mesmerized he had been by Dio’s dancing and the way they locked eyes. He came back to that park every other day just hoping to see him. Dio would always bring him flowers until he finally asked Patton out officially. He remembered their first date, all the movie and make-out nights, the time Dio won him a stuffed cat at the carnival, taking Dio to the zoo and seeing the giddy look on his boyfriend’s face in the reptile room…cartoon-a-thons, whispered secrets as they lay in bed holding hands…That all seemed so long ago.

Then Dio got less enthusiastic about their dates, almost bored. Patton tried to put more effort into it, thinking maybe he just wasn’t showing enough appreciation. Not long after he stared feeling wilted…felt like he had to try harder, even when he didn’t always want to… But hey, relationships weren’t always sunshine and smiles, right? Patton couldn’t break up with Dio just because they’d hit a rough patch. Part of him did still love Dio…at least he was pretty sure he did. They’d been together so long, those feelings couldn’t just disappear, right? He munched on two more cookies.

“Hey Pat, you okay dude?” Alex asked from their usual corner seat at the bar.

“Of course kiddo! I’m always a-okay!” Patton said, plastering on his best smile.

“You sure? ‘Cause you’ve been hitting the cheer-up cookies kinda hard tonight. That was your fifth one.” Uh oh. Has it really been that many?

“Weeell sometimes that’s how the cookie crumbles.” He grinned cheekily as the young artist groaned. “But I appreciate you looking out for your old pop kiddo.”

Patton playfully ruffled Alex’s beanie. They grumbled a bit, but Patton could see the small smirk on their face.

“Oooh is that a new piece you’re working on?” asked Patton, spotting the open sketchbook on the bar surface.

“Um, not really,” said Alex, nervously twirling their long blonde hair. “Its something I’ve been working on for a while. I’m just touching up some parts. Virgil gave me some really helpful feedback. He really is talented…”

Patton took note of the soft smile and slight blush on their face at the mention of Virgil. Could Alex possibly be crushing on his stepbrother? The thought made Patton feel bubbly inside but he fought to curb his cupid-like tendencies. He had his own relationship and romance woes to worry about. Playing matchmaker for his favorite pan pals probably wasn’t the best idea.

A light knock on the kitchen widow sill alerted Patton to Thomas’ presence. The chef was holding a small plate of steaming rice and beans with what looked like pieces of chicken sprinkled with chopped green things. What was that, cilantro? Bell peppers?

“Hey Patton, could you taste test this dish for me?” Thomas asked. “I’m trying to convince Logan to let me add some new specials to the menu.”

“Absolutely kiddo!”

Patton took the plate of food, blew on it and spooned a bit of everything into his mouth. The flavors of caramelized onions, black beans, savory chicken, warm rice, and just a hint of lime danced across his tongue. Heavenly.

“Thomas, this is so good!” Patton said, mouth half full.

“Thanks Pat!” Patton savored the look of pride on his friend’s face. “Yeah, it’s called pollo a la plancha; my gran’s old recipe. You know, she’s the one who taught me how to cook in the first place.”

“That’s so sweet! I’m sure Logan will let you add this. He’d be pretty kooky not to once he tastes it.”

“I still say it need more cilantro, guero,” called Enrique from the kitchen.

“You leave my abuelita’s recipe alone!” Thomas cried into the kitchen, making Alex and Patton both laugh. It was his first real laugh he’d had all day.

Patton was about to get back to the bar and check if anyone needed a refill, but then he saw Virgil rush in through the door. He looked very distressed, which made Patton worry.

“Hey Virgil,” both Thomas and Alex said.

“You here for your usual?” Thomas asked.

“Not here for a mozzarella run this time Thomas,” said Virgil. Then he turned to Patton. “Got a sec? I need to talk with you in private.”

“Uhhh,” he looked to his friends who seemed equally concerned then check the bar. Everyone seemed fine for the moment. “Sure Virge.”

He’s immediately let away gently but earnestly to the other side of the bar. It was the only unoccupied spot in the place so they could talk in private.

“What’s up kiddo? Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, but…” Virgil tugged nervously at his hoodie strings. “I’ve kinda got some bad news.”

“Is it mom and dad? Did something happen to them?”

“No, no! Mom and dad are fine. It’s just,” Virgil huffed. “Okay, just, promise me you won’t freak out please?”

“Of course, just tell me what’s wrong so I can know how to help you.”

The emo artist looked at him with pained sympathy. “You’re great Pat, but I’m not the one whose gonna need help this time.”

Patton waited patiently. Virgil closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said in a rush, “IsawDiocheatingonyou! There. It’s like a Band-Aid rip.”

Patton blanked for a second. It was rushed but he’d heard what Virgil said. Could he have heard wrong?

“Wh-wh-what?” he asked softly.

Virgil sighed. “I was working on my mural and ran out of paint. So made a parkour run through the park since it’s a short cut to the nearest art supply store. I was cutting through some trees when I thought I saw a certain someone’s bowler derby through the leaves…But he wasn’t alone” His teeth clenched at the memory but Virgil kept going. “I got close enough to get a better look without being seen. I thought, like, maybe I’d seen wrong, running and all��but I didn’t. It was Dio, and he was with some other guy…and they were making out. Like, full on tongue fencing.”

“A-are…are you sure Virge?” Patton asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Yeah. I saw his tattoo. It was definitely Dio. I’m so sorry Pat!”

Thoughts and memories swirled through Patton’s head. He didn’t even hear the music in the bar and grill, like his ears were full of emotional cotton. He knew that Virgil wouldn’t lie to him. Yet part of Patton, probably the too-nice-for-his-own-good side, wanted to deny it, give his boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. But now that it had been said aloud there was no denying the truth. It explained so much. The lack-luster touches, distracted texts, and all the cancelled dates because ‘something came up.’ Patton knew Dio was losing interest in him, but he never thought he’d stoop so low as to cheat on him and lie like that. Then again…didn’t he always lie? Oh how could I be so STUPID!

Patton took the entire bag of mini chocolate chip cookies out of his apron pocket. He shoved his hand in and grabbed a fistful. Before he could shove the sweets into his mouth however they were knocked out of his hand. He turned to a stern faced Virgil. Patton frowned back, mad at him for depriving him of the only thing that could cheer him up right now, and defiantly grabbed another fistful.

“No!” Virgil yanked the bag of cookies out of his hands.

“Give it,” Patton said, reaching for the back.

“NO!” Virgil said forcefully, holding them out of reach.

“Virgil Alighieri, you give me back those cookies THIS INSTANT!” Patton stomped his foot.

Instead of giving them back Virgil yeeted them into the nearest trash can. Patton gasped, fighting the urge to cry. He wanted to shout at his brother but it came out more like a pathetic whine.

“Virgil!”

“I am NOT gonna let you eat your feelings again! You’ll make yourself sick. Remember last time?”

He did remember the last time. It was senior prom. Patton had plucked up the courage to ask the girl he liked at the time to go with him to prom and she said yes. Patton had been so excited he bought her a corsage in her favorite color and everything! The day of, however, she approached him after class to tell him she couldn’t go after all. Apparently her long distance boyfriend had flown in for a surprise visit and they were going to have a private dinner together instead. To be fair she had seemed genuinely sorry, even kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for being such an understanding sweetheart. Still, he was crushed. Virgil went as his date instead, but Patton had been so upset he wound up eating nearly all the food at the snack table. He’d spent the rest of the night throwing up in the bathroom. Patton could still remember the smell of puke and how green his face had looked in the mirror. Green like a snake…like Dio’s favorite animal…Dioooo!

The floodgates burst. Patton felt Virgil’s arms wrap around him as he sobbed into his brother’s shoulder.

“It’s okay bro, I’ve got you,” Virgil said, rubbing his back soothingly.

“H-how could he do that to me?” Patton cried. “How c-could h-he cheat? After six months! How could he LIE!?”

He was well aware that he was causing a scene. A grown man whimpering and sobbing in the middle of a bar wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. He didn’t care though. His heart was broken. Not even so much from the betrayal, but because he’d been foolish enough not to see it. To stay even when he’d felt so unhappy and unloved because he didn’t want to hurt the other person. He always thought it was worse to break someone else’s heart than to get your own heart broken. Boy was he wrong. Heartbreak feels so much worse!

“Patton, what’s wrong?” He heard Talyn’s concerned voice ask.

“Are you okay?” Joan asked, big brown eyes wide with worry.

Patton half turned out of Virgils arms to look at them both. “Noooo.”

“I saw Dio kissing someone else in the park.” Virgil explained. “’Nuff said?”

“Oh, that son of a—

“L-language,” said Patton.

“Oh Patton, I’m so sorry!” Talyn hugged him from behind.

“Yeah man,” Joan rubbed his arm gently. “You don’t deserve this.”

Don’t I though? Patton didn’t say this aloud though. He just let himself have a long time coming cry surrounded by his friends.

“Hey can we get some drinks over here?” One of the men at the bar shouted.

“Shut up!” Joan and Talyn shouted back. The guy slinked back in his seat grumbling about bad service.

Just when Patton thought he couldn’t make more of an embarrassed spectacle of himself, Roman bursts in through the door. Oh nononono I can’t let him see me like this. The thought only makes Patton cry harder.

“Greeting hungry and thirsty patrons! Logan, I got your text and lucky for you my rehearsal got out early tonight. Apparently the director ate a bad—“

That’s when he looked up and saw Patton. The smile on Roman’s face dropped and his brow wrinkled with worry. In just a few strides he was standing before Patton, who couldn’t for the life of him stop crying. Whether from sadness or embarrassment he couldn’t tell, maybe a bit of both, but the look of concern on Roman’ face quieted him just a little. Roman cupped his cheek’s gently in his warm hands, his thumbs wiping away some of Patton’s tears.

“Patton, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? Are you sick? Virgil, what on earth happened!?”

Virgil filled him in on the story. It hurt Patton to hear it again, but he was too upset to explain it himself. His sobs had at least died down to hiccuped cries, but he still felt so heavy with sadness. As Roman heard the news his face went from worry to shock to anger and then…something else…something cold. He took a deep breath, turned back to Patton with tenderness in his eyes. Maybe it was because he was so raw with emotions, but Patton couldn’t help himself from practically falling into Roman’s arms. He needed more than just a brotherly hug. He needed to feel wanted. For a second Patton was worried that he’d overstepped a line of sorts, but instead of pushing him away Roman held him back. It wasn’t a long embrace but the warmth (maybe even love) that poured through was enough to finally soothed the storm in Patton’s heart. He wasn’t okay, but he felt safe in those strong yet gentle arms.

Eventually though Roman did pulled away reluctantly. Then he took Patton’s hand—the same one he’d bandaged a week ago—and kissed it. He smiled at Patton sadly and then gave a nod over his head to Virgil. The anxious artist nodded back and gently put an arm back around Patton. Roman turned around but Patton saw his fists clench and the muscles of his back tightened.

“I’m going to kill that creep,” said Roman, his voice low and filled with rage.

“Wha—“

He watched Roman storm away. Patton’s stomach twisted with worry. There was no denying Roman was strong and could hold his own, but so was Dio. The dancer was also fast and tricky. What if Roman got himself hurt? He couldn’t bare the thought.

“Roman where are you going?” Logan said as the actor passed the register. “You just got here.”

“Sorry boss. I’ve got a knuckle sandwich to deliver!”

“Roman, wait!” Patton reached out, but he was already out the door. “…Oh no…nonono he’s going to get himself hurt! Virgil!”

“He’ll be okay Patton.” Virgil squeezed his arm reassuringly. “Trust me. Princy will be just fine.”

“But what if something happens to him? What if Dio…”

The thought of anything bad happening to his strong, brave and sweet prince sent Patton into another fit of tears. His friends surrounded him with their embraces. It didnt stop the tears, but their love he felt from them was like a balm on his heart.

“Hey, what’s going on you guys?” Thomas asked, now out of the kitchen.

“Virgil, what the hell happened?” Alex asked.

Valerie came over to them as well. “Why did Roman storm out the door? Why is Patton crying?”

Virgil sighed. “I am so tired of being the messenger here. Joan, you mind?”

“Apparently Dio’s been fucking cheating on Patton so Roman went to kick his ass,” said Joan.

“WHAT!?” Valerie shrieked. “Oh sweetie,” she gave Patton an almost motherly hug.

“That bastard,” said Alex. “Good on Roman though. Hell, maybe I’ll go help him.”

“Dude, no.” Virgil gently held them back.

By then everyone was aware of what was going on and why. The newer faces were just annoyed by the lack of service and some were heading to Logan with their complaints. The regular patrons on the other hand were just as angry at Dio’s infidelity and probably could’ve made a pretty decent mob. However they opted instead to show support and comfort to their favorite fatherly bartender. Eventually though Logan broke through the small gathering of irate diners and came over to the bar. He pushed up his glasses, clearly confused and frustrated.

“What in the world is going on here? Customers are complaining. Why are none of you working? You know how swamped we are. And since when did we add a new sandwich to the menu? Why did Roman— Patton…Are you ill?”

“…No,” he sniffled. “Not exactly.”

“But then why are you so distressed?” Logan asked, concern and confusion painted across his usual stoic face.

“Patton is, uh, heartsick,” Talyn explained carefully. “Like how my head hurts real bad during migraines, except emotionally…”

Logan seemed to understand better but sighed. “Feelings. The bane of my existence.”

“I-I’m sorry Lo. I’ll g-get back to work. I just…just need a minute.”

Logan turned to the complaining customers, then back to his employees in front of him. Patton could practically see the wheels in his mind turning, puzzling the situation out. He placed a hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain?” he asked gently.

“Logan.”

“How bad?”

Patton sniffled. “…9…”

That seemed to settle it. Logan pulled out a chair from the nearest table and stood atop it. Then he cleared his throat.

“Attention everyone,” he said loudly. When they hushed he continued. “I have heard your complaints about the lagging service tonight, and I assure you this is not typical of Sanders’ Bar & Grill. That being said, due to a personal emergency, I shall be closing up early today.” Logan gave Patton, whose mouth was agape, a small reassuring smile before continuing. “Therefore I must ask you to kindly vacate the premises. I will see to it that those who’ve yet to receive their orders will be refunded and that you all receive a coupon for one free lunch...should you…come back. I…sincerely apologize for this gross inconvenience and while I hope you return, I shall understand if—“

“Logan, Relax,” said Terrence, getting up from his seat. “We understand.”

“Do what you gotta do man,” said Alex.

“We’ve been coming here long enough to know you’re good on your word,” said Madeline, her dog barked as well. “I’ll be back for that free lunch though.”

“This place has the best drinks in town,” said Valerie. “And the best bartenders. Where else am I going to go for happy hour?”

“We’ll be back,” said another regular.

“All of us,” said another.

Of course Logan was met with some complaints, but the glares from the Sanders’ regulars shut them up enough. Logan’s mouth quirked into a soft smile. He looked deeply touched by their loyalty, as well as relieved. Patton was touched by it as well. Logan stepped back down and readjusted his tie before ushering a few grumbling customers to the register. Meanwhile Thomas went to help close up the kitchen. Joan and Talyn went to clean up the place as well. Patton stayed close to the bar, but he wasn’t left alone. Not only did Virgil stay beside him, but his customers stopped by as well. He smiled as they all came up to him on their way out with words of comfort and reassurance. They called Dio an ass, and assured him that Roman would be okay. Some gave him hugs or squeezed his hand, telling him he’ll be okay; he deserves better. Their kindness meant the world to Patton, but part of him couldn’t help wondering if they were right. Did he really deserve better?

A half hour later the tables were cleaned, chairs flipped up onto the tables, and Sanders’ was officially closed early for the night. Logan had let everyone go home early, assuring them all they wouldn’t lose out on the day’s pay. An exhausted Joan and Talyn went home, giving Patton another hug goodbye first, but Thomas stayed behind. He was worried about Roman as well and wanted to make sure he got back all right. Sometimes Patton forgot how close of friends the two were.

Patton of course stayed as well. Virgil insisted on not leaving his brother and Patton was grateful for that. He was all cried out now but the heaviness hadn’t left his heart. Now that he knew the truth about Dio, what was he supposed to do? Were they officially over? Dio didn’t know that Patton knew, but did that matter since he was the one that cheated? It’s not like Patton wouldn’t have every right to leave him…but could he face being alone again?

A sudden ringing startled Patton from his thoughts. It was the bar’s landline phone. Logan walked over and answered.

“Salutations, Sanders’ Bar & Grill. I apologize but we are closed for the— Yes this is he...Wait, where is he? ….I see….Very well. I’ll be right there. Yes, I shall indeed. Alright. Thank you.” He hung up the phone.

“What was that about?” asked Virgil.

“That was the police station,” said Logan, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Apparently Roman has been arrested.”

“What?” said Patton and Virgil.

“Is he okay?” asked Thomas.

“For now, but I have to go. I’ll be back. Thomas, watch the place until I get back.”

“No prob Logan.”

With a curt nod, Logan was out the door. Thomas slumped into a chair, running a hand through his hair, and Virgil was doing breathing exercises to keep from panicking. They both stopped however when they saw that Patton was still standing in the middle of the room trebling.

“Patton?…Bro, it’s gonna be okay,” said Virgil.

“Yeah, Logan’s on the case. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Thomas said.

“Excuse me please,” Patton said in a rush as he retreated to the back storage room.

Once he was alone Patton tried to calm himself down. His hands shook and he paced around the small room. Thoughts of Roman locked in some small cell, possibly hurt, and all alone invaded his mind. Oh my poor precious impulsive knight in shining armor. He can’t do hard time. He won’t survive in jail. It’s full of too many bad people and he hates the color orange. Oh why oh why did I let you go?

His phone rang then and he jumped at the sound. He checked and saw it was a text. From Dio.

Boyfriend <3: I need you to come pick me up at the park.

That’s it? That’s all he had to say to him!? Patton frowned and dialed the number. He heard the phone ringing and eventually Dio’s voice on the other line.

“Patton? Did you get my text?”

“Dio. What happened?”

“What happened you ask? I’ll tell you what happened. Your crazy co-worker came out of nowhere and jumped me at the park! He kept screaming that I stay away from you, the psycho. But don’t worry I –ow— took care of him.”

Patton gasped. “Wha-what happened to Roman? What did you do to him?”

“What are you worried about him for? He attacked me. Gee, I expected a little more sympathy from my boyfriend. But if you want to know, he only managed to land a few hits. He’s –ow, ouch— he’s in way worse shape than me.”

Even Patton could tell he was lying. Hard to tell a decent fib when you were in pain. Even so, what if he was telling the truth? What if Roman really was hurt?

“By that point the cops came by and I told them how he assaulted me. They took care of him. Good riddance. I wouldn’t want you around the likes of him. But uh…I really do need to get picked up. And uh, maybe we could stop by, like, City MD or something? Not that I need it. Can you come by or what?”

Patton said nothing for a moment. Then he straightened his back, felt something settle in him like a stone. “Ask your other boyfriend.”

“…What?”

“Ask. Your other. Boyfriend.”

“What are you talking abo—

“You’ve been seeing someone else, haven’t you.”

“Now Patton, where would you get a silly idea like that?”

“Please Dio, for once in your life don’t lie to me! Have you been cheating on me? Yes or no?”

“...Patton, kitten, you know I love you.”

“No… You love yourself. But you know what? So do I. And maybe I am too nice for my own good, but I have enough self-respect to know that I deserve better than a lying, cheating slimy snake for a boyfriend! …Its over Dio.”

“You can’t just leave me.”

“Sure I can. Goodbye.”

Patton hung up then immediately deleted Dio’s phone number and texts before he could think twice. Good thing he let Virgil convince him not to move in with Dio after four months. It was finally over. Patton let out a shuddered breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He realized then that his glasses were blurry with tears, but even so he felt…better. Like his chest was finally free of the heavy weight from before. A small laugh escaped his lips. Patton was proud of himself…but there was still one big fear that had its claws sunken into his heart and wouldn’t let go.

“Oh Roman, please be okay.”

FINAL-->

Tag List: @altruistic-skittles @thekeytohappiness-is-you @canadian-crofters@icecoldparadise @bluebloodstains @purpleshipper@patchworkofstars@axyzel @hissesssss @beautifully-terribly @pink-and-purple-flowers@jynxlovesluck @thatsanswitch @6tick6tock6 @hanramz-the-fander @azlinne @helplesscreator @thestoryofme13 @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah@accidental-sanders @moonstonefox12 @hissesssss @smokeyrutilequartz @phlying-squirrel @madly-handsome @puns-and-patton @notveryglittery @eequalsmcscared @safesandersides @lizziepopanime @anxiously-unsatisfied-world @beautifully-terribly @justisaisfine

#My writing #Bar & Grill AU #royality #sanders sides fanfic #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #thomas sanders #joan and talyn #sanders sides fandom #original characters #deceit sanders #fanders #i know its long im sorry #KDsWriting

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blueduckie · 6 years ago

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Fantasies...

So we all have fantasies - right? I thought my fantasy was pretty tame and harmless but also ridiculous and unrealistic. Books and movies portray it as romantic and a fun adventure🙄😳🤦‍♀��let me just tell you, there is a fine line between fantasy and reality and it rarely ought to be crossed - if at all.

My fantasy - having a stalker/romantic interest😳😳😳😬😬it’s actually rather embarrassing but I can’t help but laugh at myself for being so naively foolish.

The only reason it “works” in books and movies is because the main character is portrayed as being overprotective and domineering and plays hero, “rescuing” the “helpless” female either from herself or from someone with nefarious intent - which causes her to forgive his bossy, stalker, creepy like tendencies and personality.

As a plot point it works just fine and provides a pretty good, if not fairly trite and redundant, story. But - we all keep buying into it because deep down in our sentimental romantic hearts, we all want a hot secret someone to pay attention to us and “rescue” us from something🙄🤦‍♀️🤨if nothing else Disney has taught us it is expected and sought after.

🤔🤔🤔

Yeah - no.

Back in reality land, if you do have a stalker, chances are extremely high that he’s a creepier and has misguided possessiveness and anger issues. There’s nothing romantic about that. If anything it’s inviting trouble and being unnecessarily naive and foolish.

At this point you’re probably thinking I’m a bitter old hag who’s a man hater. And that’s not true at all. I freely admit that I am rather jaded, a bit cynical and distrustful of the opposite sex but it’s only because I’ve had to grow up very quickly and I have to live very firmly in reality, leaving make-believe and fantasy far behind - occasionally my inner child comes out, but it’s very rare.

I like men - I do - I think they’re funny and I enjoy most of their company, it’s just that I haven’t found one I relate well with and the ones that do come around, either don’t know what to do with me or think they can bully me into being someone I’m not.

There was a guy I was corresponding with last Fall who, despite professing to respect my opinions and decisions, completely disregarded and ignored everything I had to say, giving me the equivalent of “there there” and a pat on the head and tried to act like he knew what was best for me even though we hadn’t met in person yet🤦‍♀️😳🤦‍♀️

You may not agree with my opinions but I do know my own mind and you will respect it.

There was another guy that I went on one date with - ONE - and he took that as an invitation to blow up my phone with over 250 text messages in less than a day. It sounds like an exaggeration but I promise you it’s not - I was so perturbed I specifically remember looking up that months cell phone bill - and there it was in black and white.

I don’t mind texting family and friends but if you’re going to be constantly texting me stupid asinine questions every couple of minutes, even after I’ve told you to stop because I’m either trying to sleep or am at work and nothing has changed since the last time you texted me two minutes ago - I am going to get mad at you. There was absolutely no respect of my personal boundaries going on. He was actually the first person that I legitimately on purpose ghosted and blocked on Facebook. But not the last.

Which brings me back to the guy I “met” last year on Facebook - we’d been messaging each other for all of a day before he started in with how much he believed we were soulmates and we going to get married someday and have lots of kids together - every red flag in the book popped up at that point🚩🚩🚩even after I told him he was going way too fast and he needed to slow down and back off, he kept right at it🤦‍♀️

He was the second person I blocked on Facebook and - ironically enough, the third as well.

After months of blessed silence I got a “friend request” from a guy who looked remarkably similar and had a very similar name from the exact same area as the other guy🤔🤷‍♀️😬🤦‍♀️I don’t believe in coincidences - I also don’t believe in “soulmates” or “destiny” - we make our own destinies. Yeah - he got blocked too.

I did feel bad about that - for about a second and a half - before I remembered that I had told him last Fall, before I blocked and ghosted him the first time, that I didn’t like what he was doing and he needed to stop - that was actually the second time I’d told him that - some might consider it heartless but as far as I was concerned, I’d given him ample chances to change. I’m not so hard up and desperate for companionship that I’m gonna put up with that kind of nonsense, especially from the get go.

There’s been guys I’ve met online, and in person, who have a one track mind - how fast can we go from zero to sixty?😳dude - I met you five minutes ago, calm down. That is not what I’m looking for🤦‍♀️Or - people I don’t even know, who start messaging me and want me to move across the country and be a stay at home caregiver for their child while they’re gone overseas for half the year - again five minutes after “meeting” them😳🤨🤦‍♀️😬say what?

While I do not believe in “fate” I do believe I was born under a mostly unlucky star ✨💫🌟✨at least when it comes to dating.

There was a guy I went out with from work(don’t do that btw - not the first time I’ve done this, you’d think I’d learn🤦‍♀️) - we had fun, nothing to write home about but I’d had a good time. I was actually looking forward to seeing him again and getting to know him better despite being coworkers - right up until he started blowing up my phone with countless asinine questions when I was trying to sleep or was at work😡😤🤬I completely shut down after that - Fort Knox isn’t tighter.

He told me afterwards that I had ghosted him - at the time I didn’t mean too, I didn’t realize what was happening until after it happened - but as soon as he started in, I flashed right back to that guy from years ago who kept pushing and pushing despite being told no and all my “walls” instantly went back up.

I thought I was over it and had moved on - hell I don’t even remember his name - but I sure remember what he did - evidently it made more of an impact than I thought it did🤔And oh yeah, btw - it’s now very awkward at work because he’s trying to be all buddy-buddy and I’m not even remotely interested right now, and somehow he’s not getting that.

So - what I’ve learned from all this ridiculousness - is that dating websites and meeting new people on Facebook aren’t working for me. And I am much better off without the ensuing drama.

I’m a strong, independent, stubborn woman with an excellent work ethic and I’m not just going to roll over to save your fragile little ego - that’s disgusting🤢��🤢 - I’m opinionated and I have a hot temper, I’m also going to challenge you and make you think - deal with it. I’m looking for a partner not a child.

To paraphrase a book I read recently: he wanted someone he could be himself with; he wanted someone to need him - he wanted to need someone.

That’s what I’m looking for. A REAL man.

It may be an overgeneralization but I think that’s what everyone is looking for - to be needed and wanted by someone else.

#fantasies #relationships #no stalkers #real man

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incorrectdeceptionquotes · 6 years ago

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A Bundle of Secrets Chapter 24

Chapter 24

A few days later...

“Berossi! You have a visitor.” A guard called.

Cornelia Berossi, formerly known as the mystery woman made her way over to the telephone station, wondering who would be visiting her, she had no family and her team had abandoned her. She was surprised to see Jonathan waiting for her by the phone. She sat down behind the glass and picked up the phone. “Hello Cornelia. That’s a lovely colour on you.” He smirked.

Cornelia rolled her pale blue eyes, “What do you want Jonathan?”

“Well, I have always wanted to see what it’s like being on the other side of this place.” His smirk turned to a frown, “And I came to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?”

“You see, you were such an obsession for my life at one point that, it didn’t seem right to leave without a proper happy ending.”

Cornelia scoffed, “Happy ending?”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Of course, this is me and my family’s happy ending. I’m done with you. You, behind bars with no legs left to stand on and... the odds of you getting out... are near impossible. Even if you did, you’d have a real tough time readjusting to society.”

She raised an eyebrow, “How are you so sure?”

“Oh, because you see,” He held up a newspaper with not only a picture of him and Cam having been reunited but a very clear picture of Cornelia’s mug shot in the corner, “The whole world knows who you are now.” Cornelia’s eyes widened as she looked at the newspaper, “There’s no more hiding for you. Time to face the spotlight.”

“Why did you do this?” She whispered as her nostrils flared.

“Oh, I didn’t do anything” Jonathan said putting the paper down, “I mean, with one of the Blancs having been taken to jail for murder of a civilian, the kidnapping and attempted murder of an FBI agent and that’s just naming a few, the article practically wrote itself.”

Cornelia sighed, “I wish you understood.”

“If you wanna be mad at someone, be mad at yourself.” The former mystery woman gave Jonathan a confused look and Johnny could help but... feel sorry for her, her life wasn’t easy and she clearly had problems that went beyond her hatred of his father but she had made her choices, “Look, you’re smart. Probably one of the smartest people I’ve ever met but you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my family. Now you have to answer for everything you’ve ever done.”

“You don’t understand, my mother made me who I am, I had to do things that no child should have to do.”

“So did I, so did Cam, so did a lot of other people in this world but they don’t all turn into psychopath killers who toy with people’s emotions and purposely ruin lives in the name of the greater good. Along the way, you start making your own choices.”

“People like our parents treated us like they could bend us to their will and never let us choose who we wanted to be.” She took a deep breath, “And when I finally found you again, I realized that it was our turn to win.”

“But you became a villain.” He chuckled grimly, “Because that’s what people like you do, your happiness has to come at the expense of others and that’s why you could never be happy.”

“But we understood each other.”

“You don’t know me. You never did. You thought you did but you didn’t. You didn’t know it was me you were looking for.” Jonathan stated bluntly, “You had thought you were looking for Cameron, that’s why you framed me for murder.”

“Jonathan-”

“But you know what, I’m glad it was me because if you had done that to Cam... let’s just say that it’s a good thing I knew Kay would get him out soon enough after what I did.”

“But you still left him there. You left your brother in your place, how does that make you any better than me?”

“Well, I can of one thing that makes me... at the very least, one percent better than you.” He leaned in to the window, “I. Am. Not. A. Killer.” Her expression didn’t change but Jonathan could see the anger build in her eyes, “Don’t get me wrong. I know what it feels like to be tempted to be the bad guy especially when it seems like that’s who the whole world wants you to be but... it isn’t something to strive for...” He raised an eyebrow, “It’s something to pity.”

Cornelia scoffed, “You pity me?”

“Yes. I pity you.” He gave her a genuine sympathetic look, “Because you don’t have anyone waiting for you to come home.” His light demeanor vanished. Jonathan’s eyes went dark and his nostrils flared, “But you deserve to be here.” He had to tell her why he truly hated her now, “You... are the reason I never got to see my little sister again. You are the reason she and her husband are dead. You are the reason my baby niece has to grow up without her parents who loved her so damn much!” He spat, “And the only reason, I haven’t done anything to you is because I need to be there for her now. I want to be there for her... and you’re not going to stop me. You took over a year of my life away from me but unlike you... I have something to live for now.” Cornelia didn’t say anything. Jonathan sighed, “Well, I said all I came to say.”

“Where are you going?” She asked softly, almost uncharacteristically as she looked at him again.

“My brother and I have a funeral to plan.” He gave her one last look. For a moment, he didn’t see the beautiful psychopath who ruined his life, he saw the innocent young girl who he met in Reykjavik, he shook his head slightly, she wasn’t that girl he had been friends with back then... not anymore. She made her choices and this is where those choices brought her and she had no one to blame but herself, “Goodbye Cornelia. I do hope... you can understand what you’ve done and maybe... you can redeem yourself.” It was foolish to think she could but he knew taking away someone’s hope was just cruel. He put the phone back in its holder, got up and left.

“Goodbye Jonathan...” Cornelia whispered into her own phone knowing that he was no longer on the line to hear her. She was alone... and she could only blame herself.

When he got back to the archive, he saw everyone combing through Fiona and Shawn’s personal belongings, trying to just organize it all. Cameron was the first to notice his brother’s return, “Hey,” He greeted, “How’d it go?”

Jonathan shook his head, “It was not what I expected...” Jonathan smiled, “But it... it really is over. We can actually move on.” He walked over to his brother and gave him a hug, “She’s out of our lives.”

Cameron hugged his brother tightly, “Welcome home.”

They pulled away from their hug, “Where’s Farrah?”

“Little girly’s helping Jordan with his music.” Gunter said with a smirk as he walked by, going out the door to get some takeout for dinner, “If I’m not back in an hour, it mean that they’ve screwed up our order and I’ve had to teach a lesson.”

Jonathan called out, “Jordan-”

“This is a Disney playlist I’m making for her Johnny, no swearing to be found here!” Jordan called from the other room. Jordan rolled his eyes, “Uncle Johnny’s being kind of the buzzkill now huh?” Farrah giggled as she kicked her legs to the music.

“I heard that Jordan!” Jonathan called back, “The kid learns any curse words before she’s ten, I’m blaming you!”

Kay walked into the room from the kitchen holding an apple in her left hand, it still in the sling, “So I finally found something that wasn’t pudding, candy, coffee or expired.” She looked up and saw Jonathan, she smiled, “Hey, how’d it go?”

Johnny shrugged but smiled, “It’s over. I can actually move on with my life... I can actually have a life.” He headed for the kitchen, “Now what’s this I hear about pudding? Do we have vanilla?”

“I saw chocolate pudding.”

“Even better.”

Kay walked over to Cameron, “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just a little overwhelming. You know if you had told me two weeks ago that all thing would happen... I genuinely would have said that it was impossible.”

“Cameron Black thinking something is impossible?” Kay joked. She noticed how he was just kind of combing through the things, almost as if he didn’t want to finish cleaning it up, “Need some help?”

“Uh, no, it’s fine, besides, your arm-”

“I still have the other one.” She said as she started to organize the books on the table.

Jonathan walked back in with a pudding cup in hand, “How’s the organizing going?”

“Pretty good. We’ve managed to sort out most of the photos and Dina’s gone to get plastic covers for them.” Cameron said.

“What’s with all the notebooks?” Johnny asked motioning to the pile of books that Kay was looking through.

“Sketchbooks, actually. They’re all Fiona’s. She was good...” Her hand fell to a black sketchbook with a silver spiral binding. Something about it seemed familiar so she opened it; she smiled as she flipped through the pages, seeing drawings of fairies, royalty and knights in shining armor, “She seemed to love fairytales.”

Jonathan had put the empty plastic cup aside and started looking through the books, “Here’s a page of where she was just writing down baby names. Man, she had a ton of names in mind for Farrah. Soraya, Regina, Ella, and Alice which is just naming a few... but it’s clear she liked the name Farrah the best.” Kay smiled as she continued flipping through the sketchbook until she flipped a page and pressed between the last page and the current one were two unmarked envelopes. Kay’s eyes widened as it finally clicked in her mind as to why the sketchbook seemed familiar.

Cameron smirked, “How are you so sure?”

Johnny flipped the book around for Cameron and Kay, who wasn’t paying attention, to see, “Well, given the fact that the name is underlined three times, circled twice in red and got little gold stars and pink hearts drawn around it, that’s kind of what tipped me off.”

Cameron chuckled, “Well, the name Farrah does suit her.”

Just then, Kay’s grip the apple she was holding loosened unconsciously and it fell to the floor when she opened up one of the envelopes and saw the words, To Cameron Black written inside the flap. Cameron and Jonathan both turned their heads to Kay who looked shell-shocked, Cameron gave her a concerned look as he picked the apple off the floor, “Kay? What’s wrong?” She didn’t respond for a moment and Cameron gently placed hand on her left shoulder, snapping her out of it, “Kay? Are you okay?”

She looked at Cameron with a look of disbelief in her eyes, “C-Cameron... did I... how long did I flat line when I was in the hospital?”

“You didn’t tell her?” Jonathan asked.

“I-I genuinely forgot to.” Cameron replied, “Just for a few minutes according to the doctor. Kay, why do you ask?”

“These... these letters...” She took a deep breath, still not believing it herself, “Fiona wrote these letters for the both of you but... she was too scared to send them...”

Jonathan furrowed his brows, “Wait, how do you know that?”

Kay let out a breathy chuckle, the look of disbelief still on her face, “She told me.”

...So Kay finally remembers what happened when she was unconscious! The mystery woman or... Cornelia is locked away and the Deception family can finally move on with their lives... or can they? I’m sorry I keep doing that, I’ll stop... eventually. :D

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I actually enjoyed writing it more than I thought I would!

#deception #deception fanfiction #jonathan black #mystery woman #cameron black #kay daniels #jordan kwon #gunter gustafsen #kaymeron #a bundle of secrets #renewdeception #savedeception #deception abc

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1989xtaylorsversion · 4 years ago

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ariana grande releases “positions,” an album about finding love again. (my review)

ariana grande’s sixth studio album came and it came to serve. she details her journey to finding love again, and she looks good while doing it. the visuals are a fresh new vibe for her, and i’m here for it. i want to start doing album reviews, and i figured this would be a good place to start.

to be honest, i really didn't vibe with half of the songs on this album AT FIRST. but, the songs i hated ended up reallyyy growing on me, and now i love all of them, except for one (we’ll get there). i know people dragged her for this album, but i couldn’t care less what stan twitter says. half of stan twitter is made up of childish and delusional "fans” who have a problem with almost everything, and that goes for any artist, show, etc... it’s not just about ariana. so, if you want an honest review for anything, don’t go there or listen to what they say. people want ariana to keep making generic pop songs, and that’s just not who she is. she even admitted that she leans towards r&b more than pop, and i love that for her. i love thank u next, but “positions” might replace it as my favorite ariana grande album.

i said what i said.

lol actually idk.

it’s really hard for me to pick but my heart is telling me positions > tun, so i’m gonna listen to it.

anyways, onto the review.

1. shut up

this song is an intro, and according to ariana, it’s meant to set the tone for the album. she wants people to pay attention to the emotions and messages, not just the adult themes. i don’t know about anyone else, but i love it. the verses are cute and get right to the point, and her vocal range doesn’t fail to impress. i love the disney vibe it gives, especially at the end. it makes you pay attention, that’s for sure.

2. 34+35

ok... don’t come for me, but this song is making me conflicted. on one hand, it’s a bop and i know it’s not meant to be deep and meaningful. i can respect that and enjoy it for what it is. but, on the other hand, it’s one of her worst songs lyrically, and when you compare it to the other songs, it’s one of the most forgettable. the remix is better than the original, so at least there’s that saving grace. the first verse is actually one of my favorite parts coz it’s so unexpected, and the music video is great. the chorus shocked me, ariana really went there. i like the song, but if i had to rank it, it wouldn’t even make it to the top 5. it’s one of the weakest songs overall.

3. motive ft. doja cat

ahhh here is the first grower. fun fact, i really didn’t like this song at first. i thought it was short and repetitive, but then something changed within me and i made me love it. i think it’s the perfect length and the perfect bop. doja was a good choice for the track, and i actually like how they sound together. something else i want to note is a lot of the songs are pretty short on this album, which is good because it doesn’t make it feel endless. ariana doesn’t have a lot of songs under 3 minutes, and while i wish some songs were longer, the length felt appropriate most of the time.

4. just like magic

y’all... this song is everything!!!

this song puts me in the best mood. it’s so sweet and catchy, and i have nothing bad to say about it. my favorite lines are

Losing friends left and right But I just send 'em love and light (oh, whoa)

and

Take my pen and write some love letters to heaven

i don’t know if that line was a nod to mac (may he rest in the sweetest of peace), but i internally weep everytime i hear it. if i could have those lines on repeat for the rest of my life. i wouldn’t complain. great job ariana, you snapped on this track.

here’s a visual representation of all of my moods while listening to this song:

5. off the table ft. the weeknd

i love ariana and i love the weeknd. it’s a perfect mix. their last collaboration, “love me harder” is still a bop to this day, so when i found out he was on this track, i knew it would be one of my favorites, and i was right. it’s one of the lengthiest and slowest songs, but honestly i’m more of a fan of ballads than upbeat songs anyway. i always look for ballads and sad songs on any album i listen to, and without fail they’re usually my favorites. so, this song served. their voices are amazing together, and the meaning behind it makes me want to cry. it’s about ariana being scared of falling in love again, and it makes me want to give her a hug. i don’t know why but i love the way ariana sings this part

'Cause I ain't her and you ain't him, thankfully (baby, don't leave) But it's gon' be hard to let someone else in again (woah) Baby, baby (Woo-hoo)

6. six thirty

sooo remember earlier when i said, “i love all of them, except for one (we’ll get there).” well, we’re here. no matter how hard i tried, i could not bring myself to like this song. i hated it when i heard it and i hate it now. i think it’s one of the most boring and forgettable songs ariana has ever made. the meaning of the song is cute, but that’s literally the only compliment i have. i wish she had excluded this from the album. i love every other song, and honestly it makes me mad knowing it could’ve been a no skip album had this not been included.

also, i’m listening to it as i write this and my opinion still stands. i don’t know what “six thirty” stans see in this song, maybe i’m missing something. but, i’ll be skipping it. as my girl ariana said, “thank u next!”

7. safety net ft. ty dolla $ign

safety net stans, WE’VE WON!!

i. love. this. song. it is nothing short of perfection. i wanna thank ms. grande for deliveringggg! their voices blend so well together, and if they want to collaborate again in the future, i don’t think i’d mind. this song is so calming and peaceful and the meaning behind it is so adorable. i can’t relate, but i’m happy ariana can. my favorite lines are

You're making me forget my past Never thought I'd feel like that again I came to peace with my path Now you got me off track

and

I've never been this scared before Feelings I just can't ignore Don't know if I should fight or fly But I don't mind

the latter verse is especially my favorite. seriously, if i could have that on repeat i’d listen to it. thank u ms. grande for not disappointing on this track. she sparkled her magic all over it, and for that i’m grateful.

8. my hair

for some foolish reason, if you ever doubted ariana’s vocal ability before, let me direct you to “my hair.” this song is so calming, beautiful, and magical. it transports me to a different realm and it’s the perfect length. this was another grower, but i’m on the “my hair” train now, and i’m never getting off.

oh also, THE HIGH NOTES. WHAT??? WHO ELSE WOULD DO THAT BESIDES ARIANA GRANDE??? SHE. DID. THAT. i’m not even ashamed to admit sometimes i skip through the whole song and listen to the last verse just to hear her sensational high notes. it’s amazing and so is ariana.

9. nasty

i don’t know what else to say except nasty is everything. it makes me feel like i’m floating on a cloud. it releases the bad b inside of you, and let’s not forget the intro in which she starts the song with MORE high notes. she spared no falsettos in this album, thank goodness. if this song isn’t in your top 5, what are you doing with your life?? it’s magical, peaceful, and sensational.

10. west side

once again, “west side” was a grower. at first, i felt the same way to this song as i did with “six thirty.” i thought it was boring, but then one day it randomly got stuck in my head, and when i went back to listen to it, i really liked it. it’s not anything spectacular, it’s a cute song, so the short length is perfect.

11. love language

add this to the list of growers. i love the vibe of this song. it’s very theatrical and gives me circus vibes in the best way. it’s something different, and very cool. the lyrics are cute and calm. i will admit when i first heard it, i didn’t get the weird ending. the song stops and after a couple of seconds it picks back up for another 30 seconds or so. it’s an interesting twist, but it was so unexpected and it caught me so off guard that i literally thought i started a new song. i don’t know why she did that, maybe ariana wanted to keep us on our toes. she really said, “pay attention, and don’t get too comfortable.” i can respect that. the last verse was a nod to her boyfriend dalton, of course. i thought the last few lyrics were really cute and fitting since he’s a real estate agent.

I ain't tryna sign no lease I'm just gon' make you my home

12. positions

here she is, the title track. not gonna lie, i go through phases with this song. i loved it at first, but then i heard the rest of the album and i thought wow she pulled a taylor and picked one of the weakest songs as the single. it’s cute and catchy, but when you compare it to the other songs, it’s not one of the strongest. i still like it and i’ll listen to it, but it’s not going to be one of my favorites. the music video was exceptional though. ariana in the white house?

she’s got my vote!

nothing but respect for MY president!

one more...

ok you get it, i’ll stop.

13. obvious

i didn’t think this song was too special at first listen, but i changed my mind. i really like it now, and it’s one i’ve had on repeat. it’s cute and short, but it still makes me feel good. the lyrics are really sweet. good job ariana!

ladies and gentleman, put your phones on silent, the show is about to begin...

14. pov

@ ALL OF THE POV STANS, HAVE YOU RECOVERED?? BC I HAVEN’T.

HOW do you recover from that religious experience? i feel like i went to heaven. that’s the best way to describe this sweet and emotional ballad; you went to heaven. if pov isn’t your #1 fav from this album, rethink your life decisions. i implore anyone who doesn’t want to listen to the album to at least listen to this song. it’s too beautiful and the lyrics are something else. see for yourself.

I wanna love me (ooh) The way that you love me (ooh) Ooh, for all of my pretty And all of my ugly too I'd love to see me from your point of view I wanna trust me (trust me) The way that you trust me (trust me) Ooh, 'cause nobody ever loved me like you do I'd love to see me from your point of view

i mean... come on...

and let’s not forget the bridge aka my FAVORITE PART

I couldn't believe it or see it for myself Boy, I be impatient, but now I'm out here Fallin', fallin', frozen, slowly Fallin', got me right I won't keep you waitin' (waitin') All my baggage fadin' safely (my baggage fadin') And if my eyes deceive me Won't let them stray too far away, I

i’m still not over it. clearly.

she sounds beautiful, and i choose to believe this song was crafted by God himself. i mean, how did she expect us to feel after ending the album with a BALLAD? it’s like ariana knew what i liked. thanks for catering to my wishes, girl. i have nothing bad to say about this song. if i could listen to the bridge on repeat (and i do), i’ll be happy.

overall thoughts:

like i said, people dragged ariana for not changing up her sound, and i don’t know if it’s because i’m not some music expert or what, but i don’t really care. i like this sound, and i don’t see anything wrong with it. let’s not forget the last time she experimented with a different sound we got the mess that was half of “sweetener.” half of that album is comprised of skips, sorry sweetener stans, i won’t lie. she released an album at a time where we all needed an escape, and i’m grateful for that. also, if you listen to the album in order, it tells a story of the fear of falling in love again, but eventually letting that fear go and finding happiness with a new person. it’s incredibly fitting with ariana, and i wish her nothing but the best with everything she’s gone through. i love this album, and that’s all.

the weakest songs: six thirty, 34+35, and positions

the strongest songs: pov, safety net, just like magic, and nasty

rating:

9/10

sending ariana love and light

#ariana grande #positions #pov #just like magic #ariana #album #thank u next #34+35 #my album review

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halewynslady · 7 years ago

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WE’RE TAKING THE DUCHESS TO DISNEYLAND…

Tremontaine S3 Challenge #7

Getting there: By train is easiest from where I live or I can enlist the aid and company of a friend of family member and we can go by car. I don’t know how far Disneyland would be from the City. I am talking Disneyland Paris for the simple reason that is the one Disneyland I know. I trust we won’t need a ship or private plane to get her there and if so, I am certain she has one. I suppose we can travel by carriage if she wants to, this should be novel for me, also useful for when we are in the park and need transport along the main roads, I guess we are taking servants with us then. That will take some getting used to.

We are of course notifying the park of our arrival. I expect to be greeted by… not the mouse… Maleficent would be nice. She is in charge of the park during the Halloween period. I would prefer to go then. I love that atmosphere best and the Tremontaine version of Halloween (see S3E4 Night of the Flames) completely enchanted me so I hope we can nicely blend the two. Oh and we expect, hope for, that is, a gorgeous swan sculpture in the Duchess’ honour. For the introductions, well, I am not very talented at French. We would look pretty foolish both sporting such French names and … I bet she is fluent!

Now, some improvements will have to be made to the park.

Item 1: the FOOD

Tackling the big one first. It is the first thing that comes to mind. I tend to survive on apples when I go to Disneyland. Then I am immensely grateful to the outside world when I ‘escape’ to where food has taste again. My food standards are high, so are Diane’s and the entire Tremontaine world’s, Disneyland will have to up their game. We want the finest chocolate and a much better version of their mouse-eared tomato pies! I also want a sugar coated apple, those I do like there. I also hope the Fantasia ice cream shop is open.

The Duchess can naturally take her pick of the restaurants in and around the park. I don’t know them that well, a side effect of not having found great food there yet. The places usually do look very pretty. I guess we can pick whichever one refers to a Disney film she likes. Which brings me to another topic my brother enjoyed addressing… what if we have a different taste in Disney films? This could test our friendship. I like to think we are adults and can handle that. Has she seen Disney films before? Will this be a culture shock for her? In what kind of a reality are we anyway *insert existential crisis here*.

We will be staying at the fanciest hotel of course, The Pink Place, it is lovely if a bit… very pink but so is almost everything at Disneyland, look at their castle, too pink yet beautiful. I am certain this should trouble her far less than it bothers me, Miss Pastel Fashion Launcher. Oh, and I love the Snow White mirrors in those rooms. I hope she is patient with me when I skip about and ramble on about mirrors, apples and fairytales (film versions, book versions and fangirl theories). I get very skippy and twirly when happy. I like to think we are friends.

Entering the park: I want to dress up! :D We are taking lacy fans along, a lady can’t survive without her fan. :p I am sometimes worried they will send me away for not dressing “normally” at the entrance. Of course with Diane there this shouldn’t be a problem and we can wear whatever we like in the park. If the staff has to tell us to “keep our frilly dresses inside the vehicle” then so be it and I will thank them for it.

We can explore. I will show her my favourite places. The dragon, the castle, the stained glass windows, … In the Halloween period I could watch that gigantic thorn dragon endlessly lay siege to the castle and change colours in its thorns. It is so perfectly beautiful. I could stay in the fairytale land for whole days, I hope she won’t mind. What I like best about theme parks is the walking around, sitting and taking in the surroundings while drinking tea or chocolate (we bring our own if it is not up to standard). I am very dull. She’ll love it. Let us often sit down and talk about … bad puns?, … anything silly, serious or otherwise that crosses our minds. At other times maybe take her hand and run around being happy and avoid the too crowded places. There are some very pretty crows hopping around for food scraps, you know what, let’s forget about the crows… What a privilege that she will be there. I imagine her presence will draw crowds too, people will want pictures of her, well, she is better at social graces than I am.

The characters, I can’t know who we will run into. I can’t predict everything. I will want to take pictures with characters. I could sweetly suggest things like “shall we take a picture with the giant penguin, yes or no?” It would be a shame not to get to ask her that. I would enjoy talking about dresses and feminism with the characters. Disney character players are brilliant and I admire them immensely.

As for the rides, she can go on anything she wants of course. I won’t always join her. I die on rollercoasters, I would go on one for her, but nothing too extreme. If I stop breathing or if I start screaming my final will, please pay close attention. If I decide I will chance going to the Haunted Mansion or scary Pirates then I trust her to help me hold my ears and eyes shut.

I hope we get to see some Stormtrooper march by and Darth Vader. I dearly want to get us lightsabers. ^^ So we can duel all over the park. Live out her fantasies. :p And we can talk of her swordsmen. –Vincent, waer bestu bleven … arm losing is popular in Star Wars too, you can still be the greatest jedi. - We can look for Kaab on the pirate ship.

We will check the program for shows, parades, lightshows, characters dancing, fireworks, stunt shows and what else they may have. :D We can admire and discuss it all, perhaps these will inspire her for her own events.

Oh and then there is… souvenirs. ^^

I will probably buy some notebooks, I can never resist those, and some silly fluffy creature or an elegant glittery princess or Tinkerbell music box or something like that. I am going to be very curious to what she would pick. I should get us these t-shirts: :p https://www.large.be/p/i%27m-a-lady/344893.html https://www.large.be/p/marie—ladies-don%27t-start-fights/356951.html

We can find gifts for friends and family (this includes Micah and my cat), lovers, rivals, allies, frenemies, enemies, the list is endless…

The Ball: I kid you not, I looked this up, there is traditionally a masquerade Halloween ball on October 31st in Disneyland, in the castle itself if I am not mistaken. This time this ball will be specially dedicated to our beloved guest Diane Duchess Tremontaine. This also means more dressing up! I love excitedly preparing for a party, outfits, make-up,… probably more than I like parties themselves. Asking her if I may do her hair is definitely present on my list of things I won’t possibly dare do. I hope there will be fancy Alice in Wonderland porcelain, that would be appreciated. No creepy living plates, please, that would go several steps too far. I will love hanging out with the characters and dressed up interesting people. I will be admiring it all. This will be a perfect night.

Affair, you say? As in kiss the Duchess? (Dear challenge giving people… don’t tease …) I love her very much. I won’t be counting on it. I very rarely risk kissing. We’ll see. It is completely up to her. This is a wonderful vacation anyway.

Feel free to add your own Duchess Disney ideas and theories.

Madness ahead: wait… Tremontaine as a Disney film? Lord Davenant gets his own Gaston-like song? Where it is emphasized what the hunt does for his physical allure and how he would love that forest getaway. And all the ladies who slept with him are just not interested?

#tremontaine #tremonteam #tremontaines3 #teamduchess

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ts-seychelles · 6 years ago

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EP. 11 - “I Was Able To Dodge That Bullet” - VILMA

I literally look like the biggest boo boo the fool right now. Like I’m so cocky and stupid and tumblr survivor makes me want to eat glass

https://youtu.be/GAe_c8bHBjc

Okay honestly, after that tribal, I feel fucking awesome, and so many people still have no idea what happened First off, Jared I am so sorry that you believed my PMs during Tribal that I thought I had the votes to get out Nicole.. I knew one of you would play something, and I high key would not be surprised if Nicole ended up actually having another big ticket advantage sitting in her pocket from ghost island, but im going to wait on that concept for now until i see something from them. Maybe we can flush another advantage out of their pockets? lmao I am protecting Jared's role in this for as long as I possibly can, and Roxy's too. I had Dan hammering me for who told about the plan, and then ofc Alex wanted to know too, but he can eat a dick for all I care (in the context of the game of course.... love him to death as a person), and I'm just not going to tell anyone. I want Jared to maintain all the relationships he has on a 100% trust basis, so that way if he feels like he's gotta tell me something, he's going to be able to have that information I had to fill Regan in, and I know she is still 100% on my side because she is being VERY open about who she wants out after what happened this round. Dan? I really really want to trust him again, and I think I cut a huge tie of his removing Ricky from the game, and now I have to give him a little bit of what he wants.. I want to pick his brain and really see his top choice of who he wants to go this round, and I am going to try to help him be successful in that move, so that he can trust me. I really want him to say that he wants to go for someone, and for me to 100% support him on it. It's going to be one of the biggest leaps hopefully, in his eyes, that I trust him again and I've got his back.. As for Asya, who was another one who I was surprised about.. She doesn't know that I know yet, that she spilled our alliance to Ricky, and that Ricky dished that information back to Dan, and THAT is another reason as to why Dan didn't trust me, so I'm keeping my eye on that for now, but I really just want Asya to trust me also. I knew I needed Asya and Dan back on my side the MOST after this entire debocle, and by getting rid of Ricky, which cuts off both of their ties with a strong player, I draw them closer to me, and them seeing me as one of their bigger options. The best thing with Asya too is that we had a legitimately genuine conversation about how we could get closer and we should open up more about our personal lives and not even get to know each other on a game level, just because this is our second game going deep together, and I want to get to know her y'know!!! I think my position is definitely a million times better than it was before tribal, but I'm definitely not out of the weeds yet. Dan and Asya seem to be back and genuine with me, and I know Jared isn't going to just save me one round, and then take me out the following round. It'd be foolish, so i think I've got that relationship too, along with my strong allegiances with the people I've already been working with, knew about every facet of that move, and still trust me (i.e. Augusto, Roxy, Vilma, Regan). I know that my chances of making it to the end are getting smaller and smaller because what I did to protect myself, and HOW I pulled the move off really impressed my closest allies, and I know the gold medal is a lot more appealing when there's 6-7 people left in the game than loyalties, so I know my chances are already shot, especially because the only people I think would actually want me to go to the end with them are Augusto and Vilma, and even then is a bit of a stretch, so now it's just a game of how deep I can get and how well I can play off everything that's just happened....... As for my next move? Literally chop Alex's head off with a machete until he's into a million pieces, cooked in the shitty ass pot we've been using for 34 days, and then be gone :) 1. Telling me at tribal that we weren't going to rocks LIVE to try to get me to change my idol play was a MOOD. Alex is dead ass one of the worst liars ever, and if you know you can't let things come out of your mouth and be 100% confident you're being convincing with what you're saying, then leave it over text.. like lol 2. Looking like his dog fucking died when I played my idol was priceless, but also extremely telling of how badly he wanted me out 3. Lying to me the entire day and not telling me about the vote...... bitch bye 4. Saying "ha ha" when I said "final two my ass" when the votes were being read 5. RE ENFORCING THE F2 WE HAD FOUR DAYS BEFORE THIS TRIBAL COUNCIL HAPPENED...... literally such an lol So yea. I think I have more. I definitely would have to go back in my host chat, but in the realm of the game, everything Alex has done has made me want nothing more than for him to go, and the best thing about this entire concept is that I think there are people on "the other side" who would not mind voting out Alex either because his social game kinda sucks and he's a liability to keep around because he is the entire reason the Dan blindside got blown up, and I know Jared was pissed about that.. The reasons are too good, but now it's just if I can pull it off. At the end of the day, I'm on cloud nine after that last tribal, and it's time to go to work to see if I can make a thing or two more go my way.. I'm just trying to survive as long as I can and continue to have fun playing the game, bc tbh, I'm having a fucking blast right now lmao

(A LITTLE LATER)

THIS IS ALSO ANOTHER REALLY FUNNY MOOD BIG PRO OF RICKY GOING HOME WAS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE REGAN COME BACK TO RICKY SAYING "oh yea johnny said in the main chat that you wanted me out by accident" BC I DID DO THAT, BUT NOW RICKY ISN'T HERE TO TELL THE TALE Hopefully Regan isn't mad at me and finds out about it at some point, but Ricky said he didn't even pick up on it when I said it the first time lmao oops? Ready for this auction tomorrow!!!!!!

I stan trying our best to win things in the auction, only to win absolutely nothing. I am laughing so hard haha my life Is falling apart, I can't even get an idol, Nicole goes to Ghost Island. I am literally shook. It's not really bad for my game? And I feel like I'm good at Touchy Subjects? Idk, I'm just hoping I make single digits. As far as my game goes, I'm gonna try to be super social this round and make up some time. I want to get back with Johnny and Augusto and really form a bond with them again because I feel kinda bad about the last round, but also not at the same time?? dflkjdaslkfdj idk? I feel like this game is picking up and I really like where I'm sitting.

that auction sucked

https://youtu.be/vrhmDKxdB7w

I forgot to make a confessional again. Anyways, so the true tea is I have no clue what is going on in this game at this point. I’m pretty sure I’m the weakest competitor here? Which is fun because nobody will go for me heh heh heh heh, and this round they can’t anyway because I am on GHOSF ISLAND! It’s very lonely here and Isaac has not yet let me play the game but it’d be super cute if I got something else that I could will to Jared because I think he might be in trouble this round. We are going to hang out with Johnny today in person and I CANT talk about the game with either of them which is a blessing because I feel like it’s all they would talk about with me. Anyways I think everyone knows....I’m not giving my 100% effort to this game right now. But once I tackle this depression and my hair grows out and I lose ten pounds and get my ghost island game and get an idol and idol out Johnny even though he’s immune and Johnny drags Vilma and Dan out with him so I don’t have to ever vote Dan out, it’s over for your bitches. Straight up.

https://youtu.be/3rwZpqAyoUE

This round should be interesting? I kinda feel good? But I’m not entirely sure obviously. I feel like I have no other play but be with Augusto, Johnny, and Vilma. I feel like I could get closer to Jared, but I’m tired of playing the middle. I feel like I’m doing okay for not even doing well in any of these challenges. I’m trying not to be too much of a comp threat this game. I love my edgic being INV this round probably bc I’m not doing shit

I think my name has been completely worked out of the discussion for this round. I hope that's accurate, if not... good on everyone. Now I just have an important game altering decision to make. Augusto or Alex? Well, it turns out Regan might be idoling Augusto? Which is good I guess, but if Alex plays an idol too, THEN WHAT. So I could throw my vote on Dan, with the potential of it going to a tied vote. If I got rocked out because of that?? Never forgiving myself. I don't know what I'm going to do quite yet, but I have less than 40 mins to figure it out. The other thing is that I could be getting votes and look like an even bigger idiot for making this confessional. Oof. Okay let's take a look-see at the numbers. Johnny, Augusto, Roxy, *Regan- Alex Alex, Asya, Dan, Vilma- Augusto * = unsure. I could weaken Dan tremendously here by taking out Alex, but I'm also taking out someone who I've been loyal to the whole time. I have built a lot of trust with Johnny by leaking last rounds vote, and I literally met him and Ryan from Mykonos with Nicole today in Times Square. And then Disney Amanda and Steffen showed up. Iconic? I am partial to testing Johnny's trust, but, I don't really trust him at all. I really really trust Roxy though, which could be a huge mistake. I see her and Asya as frontrunners at this point. Anyways this is getting rambling but this game is a MESS and I feel like a sapphire-idoly boii Tune into tribal, it could very well be a good one folks.

Aaaaalright last round was such an emotional rollercoaster I had to skip confessionals to avoid having to cringe at them afterwards. Here's a recap: Earlier I was told rumors that Johnny had been talking around telling several people that Dan and I wanted to vote Nicole out, which I don't ever recall telling to anybody so when I heard about the rumors I was obviously suuuper confused. Days went by and I had heard from multiple different people that Johnny was the one to start those rumors but I remained suspicious, because I couldn't really see a good enough motive for Johnny to do that. People kept telling me that he has a tendency of wanting to play the puppet master and wanting to shake things up and cause drama between people. I didn't want to believe it but since nobody ever came forward to deny the rumors I decided to keep my eye on him. Next tribal I heard Johnny was getting targeted, and originally I was trying to see if there was any way I could save him from going home, but I knew Dan was unhappy with the Johnny rumors and would likely flip to take him out, so I decided it would be smart of me to go along with the majority and sacrifice him. I also saw him as a big threat, so even though I genuinely like him, I didn't think it would have been a horrible thing from my perspective if he went home. But a little over an hour before tribal Johnny comes forward to tell me that he has an idol! Plus he asked me permission to pretend it was the idol I found from Takamaka. I WAS SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK because I ended up somehow unwillingly positioned in the middle of this whole mess and whatever I decided to do I would end up backstabbing someone and making them angry. I was having a major breakdown in my host chat but let's not talk about that. Then Johnny asked me to actually vote HIM so people wouldn't suspect we were working together....... O-M-G. That plan sounded perfect; I wouldn't have to backstab anyone and I would have a chance to get out of a shitty situation without too much blood on my hands. Johnny tried to make me change my vote to Nicole last minute but I refused and voted Johnny anyways to keep on everyone's good side, whoops. I was also pretty happy Johnny decided to idol Ricky out, since I never talked to him too much and he was close to Dan and Asya, who I hope will now more likely rely on my help if they ever need extra numbers to make a move. After the vote I tried to clear things up with Dan, Asya and Johnny and I think nobody is too angry at me anymore which is nice. I was afraid I'd end up in the middle of a huge drama and I'd like to consider myself a drama-free person so phew I'm so happy I was able to dodge that bullet. Okay this confessional is already super long I think I'm writing a separate one about this round see you soon HEHE.

I’ll make a more in depth one soon but some people are trying it tonight and like... where has this trying energy been all game (@Alex) because it jumped out all of a sudden! If I do go home tonight, I think I’ve played a solid game thus far and had a pretty good experience as people such as Johnny, Vilma, Regan, Dan, Roxy, and even Jared sometimes have been awesome to me and made things fun! ❤️

okay uhm confessional time i----- I won immunity, which was awesome. The killer touchy subjects strategy of putting what you think the majority is going to say both times came in CLUTCH In terms of the touchy subjects answers? nothing really surprises me. being predicted to be voted out next just makes the most sense since seven people just voted for me.. so I understand why i got that one. I should've put myself too tbh, but I think I got the more intuitive ones correct, so that made me feel kinda good Tonight's tribal? I'm praying Alex goes home.. The kid still hasn't come to me about voting for me, after swearing up down left and right a f2 with me, and I find it kinda shookening, especially since his name is going around tonight, and I'm genuine when I say that if he just approached me, I probably wouldn't have been so hellbent on wanting him out, but oh well.. i hope he goes I know Augusto is getting the other bulk of the votes? I'm not SUPER sure who is voting where.. i've heard dan is being a dickhead again and he might go for augusto. I know Regan might be playing her idol on Augusto at tribal, which would be #dramaaaaaaaaaa and I really hope that this is alex or asya maybe playing a vote steal to get the numbers on their side, because then regan would LEGITIMATELY have to play the idol.. oh well, we'll see. she said she'd play it on him also in other news, I hungout with Jared and Nicole IRL, and because we RESPECT the game that's going on, when we were walking around the city, I spent a lot of time talking to Jared about today's vote and how arbitrary it's been for us to be on opposite sides, and guaranteeing that if we joined together that there'd be nothing stopping us, and then he offered me a 100% f3 with him, that we'd try to get to the end of the game together. I am 100% planning on accepting it with the intended purpose of keeping it true. I just hope that it isn't one of those things where he's like "oh yea we're not going to vote you" but then votes out all of my closest allies instead and im stuck in the game getting dragged to finals via jared's strategic play, but honestly, I believe the man. He seemed very genuine, and if he isn't being genuine, then he's a snake and it is what it is anywhom.. praying augusto stays and nothing bad happens to him. alex going would be best for my game, especially because I just think he deserves what's coming to him after how last round went with him and I, and the excuses he made for breaking our f2

I trust no one but Johnny fuck everyone. Fuck wasting my idol. But I have to Jared and Johnny both told me to play it so he res to that

#itsgametimekids

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brendanmoviedate · 8 years ago

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"Nobody will ever notice that. Filmmaking is not about the tiny details. It's about the big picture."

All through 2015, I’d been hearing about people doing a new-movie-a-day challenge starting January 1st and ending December 31. It seemed like a great idea for clearing through my watch list and an excuse to get out to the theatre more.

So for 2016, I decided part way into January that I was going to go for it. By that point, I was only a few movies behind, so how hard would it be to catch up and get to 366 (I just had to pick a leap year for this) by December 31? Well, by April, I was about 15 movies behind, and this was with watching three or more films every Saturday while my girlfriend was in class. Still, I was confident - my girlfriend would be going to school in London starting in September, so I’d have lots of free time to cram in some extra movies.

Flashforward to October, and an outdoorsy summer and month-long trip to the UK found me around 80 movies behind pace. Not good. I thought about giving up, but I’m too stubborn and foolish to let go of stupid things like this. October was rough. I watched movies all weekend, every weekend. I found the movies on my list that were less than 90 minutes, so as to pile on an extra film or two. By the end of the month, I had watched 100 films in 30 days. Halfway through December I reached 366, capping out at 374.

What did I learn?

This type of challenge really fucks up your decision-making abilities

When trying to decide between going out and watching a movie, or reading and watching a movie, or doing chores and watching a movie, or grabbing a meal at a restaurant and watching a movie, watching a movie always seemed like the right choice, just to get me closer to that goal of 366. Every time I chose to do something other than watch a movie, I felt anxious that this could have been the one movie keeping me from reaching my goal. It was rough. I’m only now getting over this feeling and it’s already March (spoilers: I’m never going to do this again).

The “only new movies” clause really stung

There were so many times when I wanted to watch a recent favourite, but couldn’t justify it. Mad Max: Fury Road, 22 Jump Street, Nightcrawler, Sicario, et al. kept beckoning me, but I would invariably choose something new.

Peak TV takes a backseat

With only a few minor excpetions (Veep, Silicon Valley, Game of Thrones), my TV watching for the year plummeted. I was already behind on shows like The Americans, Orphan Black, and Fargo that I really wanted to watch, but multi-episode seasons would eat up too much prime movie-watching time.

You don’t always watch what’s good, only what’s available

Netflix is so diluted at this point with direct-to-video releases and Netflix originals starring Adam Sandler that finding something of quality to watch was always difficult. Often I’d find myself watching a mid-2000s action movie instead something from my iMDB list just because it was on Netflix. Other times, even if I film I’d wanted to watch was on Netflix, like Son of Saul or Leviathan, I’d watch The Book of Eli because I was already too worn out by a day’s worth of watching movies.

A movie-a-day only really makes sense for those who can watch a movie a day

Work+girlfriend+dodgeball+hockey+friends meant I had only two or three days a week to squeeze in movies, necessitating regular marathons. It really defeats the purpose of the challenge and wears out the viewer on a physical and psychological level.

Korean thrillers are awesome

I watched a number of excellent films from some of Korea’s best directors, mostly in the horror and/or thriller genres. Bong Joon-ho’s Memories of a Murder and The Host, Kim Jee-woon’s The Age of Shadows, Na Hong-jin’s The Wailing, and Yeon Sang-ho’s Train to Busan all explored well-trodden movie tropes from fresh perspectives and made choices that North American filmmakers would normally shy away from. All of these films are classics that I can see myself revisiting over and over again. Of these films, Memories of a Murder is probably my favourite, serving as a Zodiac-like look into the futility of murder investigations. I should also mention Park Chan-wook’s The Handmaiden here, but I’ve talked about that masterpiece twice already.

Brian De Palma is an underrated master

Unabashedly fixated on voyeurism in his films, De Palma constructs tightly scripted, twisty plots that focus on peeping, spying, surveilling, and stalking as a means of telling a vast breadth of stories. His films are sleazy in all the right ways, but he brings to his low, almost uncomfortable, subject matter a brilliant technical understanding of film. Raising Cain, Body Double, and Dressed to Kill are all great examples of his craft, but it’s 1981′s Blow Out, starring a never-better John Travolta that is the perfect synthesis of his methods and methodology. The use of sound, split-screen, and split-diopters to focus on foreground and background at the same time is as captivating as the plot.

The worst movies were unfunny comedies

This probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me, but the worst kind of movie is an unfunny comedy. Not necessarily comedies with unfunny jokes (which, don’t get me wrong, are also nigh unwatchable), but comedies without jokes whatsoever. The films I’m talking about are those that are considered comedies because they weren’t serious enough to be dramas or tense enough to be thrillers, but instead just some stuff happens to the characters that provides a minor conflict or misunderstanding before an uninspired resolution. Fortunately, I only saw a couple of these, but they were painful enough to leave scars - The Overnight and the deliberately ironically titled The Comedy. The less said about The Overnight, the better, but I’ll at least faintly praise The Comedy for being a deliberate joke on its audience by being so gleefully unfunny.

I’m finally on board for the Fast & Furious franchise

After a meh first instalment and a horrible sequel, this franchise was as good as dead to me. With Furious 7 dominating the box office and positive word of mouth for the series finally drowning out my doubts, I decided to hop back into the franchise with the third instalment, Tokyo Drift. This film wasn’t by any means great, but it was engaging and personal in the way that the first two weren’t. When the next film cut back to Vin Diesel and company, I was slightly disappointed, as the band of thieves dynamic didn’t really meet my needs. However, it was Fast 5, when the franchise got a Dwayne Johnson injection, that it became an over-the-top superhero team-up movie. This film was absolutely insane, culminating in a getaway chase with a giant vault tied behind the vehicles demolishing half of Rio. The next two films failed to live up to Fast 5, but still featured cartoonish lunacy in the form of a wedge car vaulting other vehicles into the air and Dwayne Johnson flexing out of a cast.

The films of the 70′s and early 80′s continue to impress me

We’ve all heard that the 1970′s were the true golden age of cinema. Godfather this, Annie Hall that. But there’s so much more of value than the masterpieces everyone lauds. Sorcerer, Possession, The Warriors, Marathon Man, and The Taking of Pelham One Two Three are all vastly different films, but all have incredible performances, perfect pacing, and are utterly captivating. Sorcerer, about a group of drivers carrying unstable dynamite through treacherous jungles, and Possession, featuring Sam Neill as a spy watching his wife’s character slowing change into something else, both stayed me long after they were over, due to their incredible suspense and shocking outcomes.

Lilo & Stitch might be my favourite Disney movie

The Disney Renaissance died after the release of Mulan, with Tarzan, The Emperor’s New Groove, and Atlantis: The Lost Empire failing to capture imaginations the same way Aladdin or Beauty and the Beast did. Combining this decline with my bumbling journey through adolescence, it’s only natural that I’d didn’t give them a chance. So it’s with great regret that I did not see Lilo & Stitch until 2016. This film has all the heart and morals of a typical Disney film, but it’s incredibly funny as well. This was one of the movies I laughed at the hardest last year, mostly due to the antics of Stitch, who seems part koala and part centipede. This will easily get a rewatch over any of the Renaissance films. I wonder if a live action remake is in the works.

Return to Sleepaway Camp is as boring and tone deaf as Sleepaway Camp is fun and outrageous

Sleepaway Camp is a notorious cult classic, featuring campy performances and low tech slasher violence as well as one of the most genuinely shocking and disgusting reveals I’ve ever seen in a film. The image of it's final frame is forever burned into my brain. Naturally, the film garnered a few poorly conceived sequels with no one from the first film involved, which were easy enough to ignore. However, what I couldn’t help but be intrigued by was a “true” sequel from the original writer-director, featuring at least a handful of the original cast. If ever I regret watching a movie, it’s this one. Return to Sleepaway Camp reeked of desperation and ineptitude, from a director who had been far removed from filmmaking for the 25 years since his debut was released. It’s shrill, loud, derivative, boring, and featuring a twist so outrageously apparent for the whole film, it felt like a big “fuck you” to whomever watched and liked the first film.

The Purge movies are getting increasingly closer to being worthy of their own premise.

The first film in the Purge series was a missed opportunity. Setting up a brilliant premise, where all crime is legal for one night a year, the filmmakers foolishly decided to confine the film to within a single house for an uninspired home invasion thriller. The Purge: Anarchy brought the action to the streets for some expanded world building and introduced Frank Grillo as the new face of the franchise. But it wasn’t until the third film that real characters and an interesting plot developed. The Purge: Election Year is topical, disturbing, and more visually interesting than the previous films; if the series continues in this upward direction, I’ll be completely on board for the annual purge.

As I said earlier, this experiment was taxing, making me feel the crunch of a deadline for an entire year. But despite those struggles, I’d qualify it as a success. For each bad and mediocre film I watched, I watched two that I liked. I found a bunch of classics that I’ll be sure to return to over and over, and a bunch of directors whose filmographies I can make my way through.

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omegaqueencas · 8 years ago

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he laughs at my dreams but i dream about his laughter | a drarry fanmix

O1. Under the sheets by Ellie Goulding { we're under the sheets and you're killing me, in our house made of paper, your words all over me. we're under the sheets and you're killing me, in here the world won't bring us down, our plan is golden. out there a girl could drown, in here we're frozen. where did the people go? my hands are empty. you're not the answer i should know } O2. Play Date by Melanie Martinez { we're just playing hide and seek, it's getting hard to breathe under the sheets with you. i don't want to play no games, i'm tired of always chasing, chasing after you. i don't give a fuck about you anyway, whoever said i give a shit about you? you never share your toys or communicate, i guess i'm just a play date to you. you know i give a fuck about you everyday, i guess it's time i tell you the truth. if i share my toys will you let me stay? don't want to leave this play date with you } O3. I found by Amber Run { i'll use you as a focal point so i don't lose sight of what i want. and i moved further than i thought i could, but i miss you more than i thought i would. i found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me, talk some sense to me } O4. Addicted by Saving Abel { i want to take my love and hate you til the end. it's not like you to turn away from all the bullshit i can't take. it's not like me to walk away. i'm so addicted to all the things you do, when you go down on me in between the sheets, all the sounds you make, with every breath you take it's unlike anything when you're loving me } O5. You don't own me by Grace feat G-Easy { don't tell me what to do and don't tell me what to say. please, when i go out with you, don't put me on display. you don't own me. don't try to change me in any way. you don't own me. don't tie me down 'cause i'd never stay. i don't tell you what to say, i don't tell you what to do, so just let me be myself, that's all i ask of you. i'm young and i love to be young. i'm free and i love to be free to live my life the way i want, to say and do whatever i please } O6. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak { the world was on fire, and no one could save me but you. it's strange what desire will make foolish people do. i never dreamed that i'd meet somebody like you and i never dreamed that i'd ever lose somebody like you. no, i don't wanna fall in love. no, i don't wanna fall in love with you } O7. Kiss with a fist by Florence + The Machine { you hit me once, i hit you back. you gave a kick, i gave a slap. you smashed a plate over my head. then i set fire to our bed. my back eye sets no shadow, you red eye sees nothing. your slaps don't stick, your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same } O8. I won't say I'm in love by Disney's Hercules { you keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling. baby, we're not buying, hon, we saw you hit the ceiling. face it like a grown up, when you gonna own up that you got it bad? no chance, no way, i won't say it. give up, give in, check the grin, you're in love. this scene won't play, i won't say i'm in love. don't be proud, it's okay you're in love. at least out loud, i won't say i'm in love } O9. Just the girl by The Click Five { she laughs at my dreams but i dream about her laughter. strange as it seems, she's the one i'm after. 'cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me offa my feet and i can't help myself, i don't want anyone else. she's a mystery, she's too much for me, but i keep coming back for more. she's just the girl i'm looking for } 1O. How to be a Heartbreaker by Marina and the Diamonds { rule number one is that you gotta have fun, but baby when you're done you gotta be the first to run. rule number two, just don't get attached to somebody you could lose. rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek but never on your sleeve unless you wanna taste defeat. rule number four, gotta be looking pure, say goodbye at the door and leave them wanting more. girls, we do whatever it will take 'cause girls don't want, we don't want our hearts to break in two, so it's better to be fake. can't risk losing in love again, babe } 11. Hate that I love you by Rihanna feat Ne-yo { must everything you do make me wanna smile? can i not like you for a while? but you won't let me. you upset me, girl, and then you kiss my lips, all of a sudden i forget that i was upset, can't remember what you did, but I hate it. you know exactly what to do so that i can't stay mad at you for too long, that's wrong. you know exactly how to touch so that i don't want to fuss and fight no more. said i despise that i adore you and i hate how much i love you, boy, i can't stand how much i need you } 12. Better than me by Hinder { the bed i'm lying in is getting colder. wish i never would've said it's over and i can't pretend i won't think about you when i'm older 'cause we never really had our closure. this can't be the end. i really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes. and i think you should this, you deserve much better than me } 13. Devils don't fly by Natalia Kills { and when i'm gone, remember you're the one. just because i fight it doesn't mean i never learned how to love. you know devils don't fly so don't expect me not to fall. devils don't fly but, god, we almost had it all. and i got chains and you got wings, you know that life ain't fair sometimes, but devils don't fly. but i try. angels were never meant to fall and you were the loveliest of all } 14. One more night by Maroon 5 { you and i go hard at each other like we're going to war, you and i go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the doors, you and i get so damn dysfunctional we stopped keeping score, you and i get sick, yeah i know we can't do this no more. so i cross my heart and i hope to die that i'll only stay with you one more night. and i know i've said it a million times but i'll only stay with you one more night. try to tell you no, but my body keeps on telling you yes, try to tell you stop, but your lipstick got me so out of breath. i'll be waking up in the morning probably hating myself and i'll be waking up feeling satisfied but guilty as hell } 15. Wrecking ball by Miley Cyrus { we kissed, i feel under your spell, a love no one could deny. don't you ever say i just walked away, i will always want you. i can't live a lie, running from my life, i will always want you. i never meant to start a war, i just wanted you to let me in and instead of using force i guess i should have let you in } 16. Whatever we started by Richard Marx { come over and i'll put my hands where i want to. end of the bed with my scent still left on you. baby, don't pretend we could ever just be friends after i have been inside of you. we can't stop whatever we started, can't resist what's meant to be. forget whatever we promised, i want you all over me } 17. Don't deserve you by Plumb { you're the light inside my eyes, you give me reason to keep tryin, yYou give me more than i could dream and you bring me to my knees. your heart is gold and how am i the one that you've chosen to love? i still can't believe that you're right next to me after all that i've done. i don't deserve your love, but you give it to me anyway. can't get enough, you're everything i need and when i walk away, you take off running and come right after me, it's what you do and i don't deserve you. i don't deserve a chance like this, i don't deserve a love that gives me everything. you're everything i want } 18. I want your bite by Chris Crocker { some believe in love at first sight but this is just lust on the first night. if it turns into more then that's alright but right now i don't want your kiss, i want your bite. wanna feel your teeth on my neck, wanna taste the salt of your sweat, gonna rock your body all night } 19. Freeze you out by Sia { so here's my heart for you to hold, feel it beat, feel the warm blood flow through my cold, feel it thaw out. yeah, i've felt the fear but i push through, it's so worth loving you. you wanted more and so i thawed out and i know you were worth it. and i know this could work if i could only let you in but i'm freezing. i'm not running away, i will feel the pain and stay. i'm not running away even though i'm scared, baby. and i won't freeze you out like i have been, i won't freeze you out, i'm gonna let you in. and i won't freeze you out like i have been, i won't freeze you out, my heart is melting } 2O. True Love by P!nk { sometimes i hate every single stupid thing you say, sometimes i wanna slap you in your whole face. there's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down, i know life would suck without you. at the same time i wanna hug you, i wanna wrap my hands around your neck. you're an asshole, but i love you and you make me so mad i ask myself "why am i still here? and where could i go?" you're the only love i've ever known. but i hate you, i really hate you, so much it must be true love. nothing else can break my heart like true love, no one else can break my heart like you }

{ LISTEN HERE }

#drarry #my playlists #my aesthetics

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ahnsael · 7 years ago

Photo

This is a jacket I recently picked up on ebay for $40 (plus $15 shipping).

There’s also a Walt Disney Animation Studio jacket which I bought from the same seller for the same price:

I’ve also bid on another jacket for $40 (plus $15 shipping, though I could buy it outright for $55 plus $15 shipping, but we’ll see if I can get it for the same price as the other two):

It’s getting too warm for my winter coat (finally), but...it’s still in the 40s when I come home from work in the mornings, so these are nice middle grounds.

And of the two I’ve received, they’ve both been HUGE hits at work (where all but the newest employees know of my Disney past). Plus, while the second jacket was available at The Disney Store, I’m pretty sure the other two were cast exclusives, though I could be wrong, at least on the first one).

I already have a tie with the exact same version of the castle logo as the Walt Disney Animation Canada jacket, so that would be a good tie to wear with it.

My Disney ties and jackets are a small moment of happiness in my otherwise stressful days at work lately (we have a former Disney Store cast member with us, but she hired in right as brown things started to hit the proverbial fan...in Keno especially, but also the behavior of Kurt (the “drama manager”).

Work-realted (not jacket-related things below the cut).

I’ve told her that if she had hired in when I did, she would have had a LOT more fun, and while I’ve been frustrated lately as well, she might hold a better opinion of the job as a whole if she had hired in when I did, when things were still fun.

But she LOVES checking out my ties every night, and has loved the jackets that have shown up from ebay in the past couple of days, so I’m hoping I can be the reason she hangs on. She’s still learning, but has been thrown to the wolves WAY too quickly. But she’s smart, she’s capable, ad if I can keep her mind off the drama (which is hard because MY mind is on the drama), she could be a HUGE asset to our casino.

So I try to help her out as much as I can as I come in to relieve her, and talk her through the paperwork that she hasn’t yet been properly taught (but she’s getting a LOT better at it, and is smart enough to ask if she doesn’t know the answer -- unlike a couple of casino attendants who get it wrong EVERY DAY and ignore the simple sample paperwork packet that is literally right next to their drawers and just throw things together however and hope for the best -- which means I have to fix it when I audit their paperwork on graveyard -- not that I have any desire to protect people whose paperwork is getting progressively worse as they care less and less (thanks, drama manager, for making them feel like doing their job right isn’t important, as they see you ignore your job in order to do magic tricks while ignoring your job entirely, and sometimes TELLING them to do it wrong), for the stress I feel now.

Auditing paperwork SHOULD be easy. I spend a minute or so running a tape on their math to be sure everything is right and makes sense. For a couple of our attendants (and even for Kurt), sometimes it takes 5-10 minutes to fix their paperwork so it will pass accounting’s muster. I literally broke a pen over the past few days because I threw it down on the edge of the counter so hard out of frustration that it cracked. Last night, I just threw down the paperwork. And I KNOW I’m on camera doing so, and I’m okay with that. The fellow manager who saw it, as well as another manager who was told about it, said “I’ve never even seen you angry.”

But...when the same mistakes keep happening, and MORE mistakes keep happening on top of the usual ones, it gets frustrating. We cannot have casino attendants who don’t get their jobs (in one case, it’s a “deer-in-the-headlights” thing -- she used to be wonderful, but now, at the first sign of stress, she forgets everything she used to be good at; in another case, we seriously thing she’s developing dementia, as her paperwork gets worse and worse all the time, and she once fell over at work and at first said she was reaching for an ashtray and lost her balance, then later told another manager that she had no memory of falling at all). From what I hear through the grapevine (unofficial), we just

Either the manager of their department is ignoring the copies of paperwork with notes attached as to how their paperwork sucks, or he IS talking to them and they just don’t care and are gonna keep doing it wrong since there are no consequences.

And...I’m still frustrated. But when my boss came in a couple hours early when I couldn’t get another manager to cover the shift, we shot the “stuff” for a while as I waited for my ride home. And other than him asking how my night was (which was good -- after our monthly party, the floor was surprisingly clean, and I told hi that the short-staffed swing shift rocked at their jobs last night), we just talked about random things -- his dental appointment, both of our health (we have both had health problems recently, and while I was apparently less than 12 hours from death in January had I not gone to the hospital, according to the admitting nurse AND the doctor I saw once admitted, and I forgot to take my iron pill yesterday when I ate and was VERY shaky in my hands last night as a result, but otherwise felt okay), in the long term his health may be worse than my own.

My fellow grave manager has told me he’s looking for another job. But he’s very fickle. He told me last week that he’s sticking around for the long haul.

He breaks up with a girl, says “the single life will be good for a while,” and then less than a week later he’s telling me about his new girlfriend. And, I mean, I kind of get THAT part of it. If you think you’ve found THE ONE and they think they’ve found you, it would be hard to turn that down.

Even though I’ve been single since late 2008, just to try to avoid the cycle this guy is now going through. I also wonder how he gets so many girls to fall for him (other than being VERY fickle, he’s a good guy, but...I’m also a good guy, and I’m at almost ten years since my last relationship -- when I said I was done looking, and that if something happened it happened, but otherwise I was cool with the single life, I meant it -- but this guy changes his mind almost as often as he changes his clothes). I think, maybe, he’s less picky than I am. I get to know a woman and I like her, and I think of all the reasons it would never work. He says he has depression...which makes me think mine must be MUCH worse, because I don’t even have the self esteem to make even a slight move in such situations.

He’s still got that 24-year-old “I know everything” attitude (which I didn’t reach until 25, but by 26 realized I didn’t know crap), He’s also got that whole “I’m perfect for whomever I choose” thing, which most of us know is the foolishness of a young man.

But...a week ago, he told me that he had no desire to find another job. Last night, he told me he may be leaving soon...which I flat-out told him that while I’ve been stressed out lately, he just made me MORE stressed out. Because we’re already woefully understaffed on graveyard. Sure, I can make it work with two people, but...there may be nights where I’m on my own, with NO other employee, and can’t even pay if someone hits a jackpot until someone else answers their phone and comes in. And that’s a rarity, to say the least (at least since we lost our best manager who was tired of fighting the drama do-nothing manager). But if he bails out on me, right after I hear one of our new managers quit...that’s REALLY going to mess me over.

I’ve decided that I can handle Kurt, as sick as I am of cleaning up after him (I just decided to STOP cleaning up after him, and fixing his mistakes -- he signs out a set of keys that needs three signatures, and his signature is the only one there? I’m NOT signing for him or having anyone else do it -- if he’s too lazy to cover the basics, Kurt can face the consequences, even though history shows that he NEVER WILL face any consequences for anything he does).

If he relieved another manager in a drawer, and never signed off on verifying the drawer? That’s on him.

If he and another person verify Keno balls on swing, but only one of the two provide the required signatures? I’m not signing if I wasn’t there to verify.

And the part that will hit our staff in the pocketbook: he doesn’t sign off on the hours for people who signed out during his shift. I’m not gonna sign off on shifts for which I was not there.

I have in the past, just to make sure our employees are paid. If there is no manager signature on the hours, they don’t get paid.

But from now on, I am NOT signing off on shifts that ended when I was not there.

If they don’t get paid, I’ll look up which manager was working (even though I KNOW who it will me), and I’ll tell them to ask why he is unable to do the basics of his job.

I want to stick around. I have loyalty to this company. But if Kurt keeps getting away with shirking his duties in favor of showing off his amateur magician skills, THAT NEEDS TO LAND ON HIM, not on me for not fixing his screwups.

Or, you know, getting phone calls at home from my boss who gets phone calls at HIS home from our owner when I tell him I asked my boss a week before about a tournament I administrate, and he never answered, so I went over his head. Don’t get mad at me because you don’t bother to support me and I go higher in the food chain to get the info I need to effectively do my job. Don’t call ME at home because you’re mad that YOU (as the property manager in charge of these things) were called at home because you hadn’t shared information with those who needed it,

#work things

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stoodlemayer · 7 years ago

Text

Predicting "The Last Jedi"

The trailer for The Last Jedi is out! Tickets are on sale! I've unsubbed from r/StarWars because I'm on spoiler alert! That means it's time to start guessing how much The Last Jedi is going to make at the box office!

Back when The Force Awakens came out, we all knew it was going to be big, but we were struggling with how to define it. When you're working on box office projections, you look at the soon-to-be-released film, compile a list of similar films to compare it to, and then use the box office performances of those films to come up with a guess of how the film in question will perform. For example, I would bet that 99% of people coming up with box office projections for Blade Runner 2049, a sequel to an 80s sci-fi thriller, compared it to Mad Max: Fury Road, a sequel to an 80s spec-fi action film.

There was nothing for The Force Awakens.

There was some who immediately wanted to compare it to Avatar. It too was a major blockbuster that had a December release, so surely The Force Awakens would perform similarly. A smaller opening weekend compared to your summer blockbuster—Avatar only made $87 million opening weekend—but it'll make up for that with long legs. But that comparison didn't feel right. Compared to The Force Awakens, Avatar had been a quiet release. Star Wars hype was everywhere leading up to December. With every trailer, the fanbase would get more excited—from what we could tell, every problem and quibble we had about the prequels was being addressed. Industry tracking about audience awareness indicated that 100% of Americans knew that a new Star Wars film was coming out. You would've had to live in the mountains with no internet or human contact for at least five years to not know that a new Star Warts film was coming out. The hype was real.

Yet people still persisted in comparing The Force Awakens to other December releases. No December release had an opening weekend over $100 million, they'd say. Maybe Star Wars can, but there's no way in hell it'll cross $200 million. The most it could do was $175 million, and that's if the pun-intended stars aligned. r/boxoffice was convinced that anyone who thought it could hit $200 million on it's opening weekend was a fanboy, and had no idea what they were talking about. It's not that these people were necessarily wrong or foolish. They were trying to apply conventional wisdom to a film that increasingly looked like it would have an unconventional performance. I bucked the conventional wisdom. and sometime in November I had settled around a $215 million opening weekend. But as the opening day approached, I had good reason to doubt my numbers. A contact in-the-know offered insight into Disney's internal numbers: The Force Awakens had already sold $175 million in tickets for opening weekend, and we were still a week-and-a-half from release. After the initial sale of tickets in October, ticket sales had seemingly flatlined, but as we approached opening day, people were buying tickets almost as fast as theaters were putting them on sale. To this day I'm surprised this info never leaked—there's a reason why I noted that my $215 million estimate was conservative.

A few weeks before The Force Awakens opened, I was talking with the theater's then programmer and its former programmer—these were the guys who scheduled the showtimes and did the internal box office projections for our location1—and one posited the theory that we needed use a "historical comp" for The Force Awakens. Conventional box office prediction looks at recent releases; anything older than three to four years is out of date. Even comparing The Force Awakens to Avatar was pushing it, and the only reason Avatar was even brought up was that people were struggling to come up with recent films that felt like an accurate comparison. During our conversation, we concluded that the only film that had the same cultural awareness and hype was The Phantom Menace.

The only thing you can use to predict Star Wars is Star Wars.

When Rogue One was getting closer to release, I decided to test this theory. Management at the theater was prepping for Rogue One to be only slightly smaller The Force Awakens. I argued that The Force Awakens was a statistical outlier. Since we couldn't find good comparisons for The Force Awakens, we then shouldn't use it to make predictions. It was its own beast, and to even think that anything would come close again in the near future was foolish. I decided that the best comparison film was, of all things, Revenge of the Sith. I felt that Revenge of the Sith had two things going for it. 1) It had been received warmly by the fanbase. 2) The latter two prequel films had little appeal in the general audience. Rogue One's marketing, and Disney's own expectations, made me think that they were expecting this film to appeal mainly to the fans, and not so strongly with the general audience. And since the fans had been energized by The Force Awakens, Rogue One would be greeted by an appreciative audience.

BoxOfficeMojo has a handy little feature that lets you adjust a film's box office gross as if it had been released a different year. The tool is by no means scientific, but it's good enough for what I needed. I adjusted Revenge of the Sith to get a 2016 estimate and got this: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith - $380,270,577 Actual / $513,157,600 Adjusted to 2016. Rogue One would go on to gross $532,177,324, a variance of $19,019,724, or 3.574%. So, while not perfect, it's pretty damn good.

At the time, I hadn't thought to try and use Revenge of the Sith to estimate an opening weekend gross for Rogue One. How audiences see movies has changed since 2005—over time, opening weekends have increasingly represented larger and larger chunks of the total gross. So, instead of looking at Revenge of the Sith's opening weekend numbers, a better idea would be to apply a multiplier to the anticipated total gross. If you've never followed box office results before, a multiplier is basically another way of saying how much of the film's total was made on opening weekend. For example, a multiplier of 2 would mean that a film's total gross will be double what it made opening weekend. A multiplier of 3 would mean its total gross would be three times the opening weekend numbers. In short, a higher multiplier is better. The average 'well-performing' blockbuster typically has a multiplier in the 3.0-3.5 range. So, if we take the adjusted Revenge of the Sith gross, and divide it by your average multiplier, 3.3, you would get an approximate opening weekend total of $155,502,300. Rogue One made $155,081,681. So while the math is by no means perfect, it can at least get us in the ballpark.

So now, for The Last Jedi, the trick is figuring out what exactly we should use as a comparison. So let's look at all the Star Wars films, in release order and with adjusted grosses:

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - $936,662,225 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - $532,177,324 Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith - $380,270,577 Actual / $513,157,600 Adjusted to 2016 Star Wars: Attack of the Clones - $302,191,252 Actual / $449,906,100 Adjusted to 2016 Star Wars: The Phantom Menace - $431,088,295 Actual / $733,743,200 Adjusted to 2016 Star Wars: Return of the Jedi - $252,583,617 Actual / $700,506,300 Adjusted to 2016 Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back - $209,398,025 Actual / $682,158,400 Adjusted to 2016 Star Wars: A New Hope - $307,263,857 Actual / 1,234,649,200 Adjusted to 2016

Here's that info as a handy dandy chart:

"Star Wars" Box Office Grosses (Adjusted)

While we might be quick to jump on the first obvious trend—that the second film each trilogy sees a considerable drop—I think using that to deduce potential box office numbers for The Last Jedi is a trap. The drop from A New Hope to The Empire Strikes Back is a whopping 44.75%, and Attack of the Clones sees an equally stunning 38.78% drop from The Phantom Menace. If The Last Jedi were to see a similar drop from The Force Awakens, the box office gross would only be $545 million. There are easy explanations for the earlier drops. Not only did The Empire Strikes Back receive a mediocre response upon its release, A New Hope was such a massive hit, anything following was going to see a considerable drop. And Attack of the Clones was not only poorly received, but many in the fanbase felt like they’d been burnt by The Phantom Menace. However, a $545 million gross would align this film with the performances of Revenge of the Sith and Rogue One. If this ends up being the final result, I see two possible reasons: Critics and the fans find The Last Jedi to be lacking, or the potential gross of the average Star Wars film is around $550 million. Either way, a result like this would be troubling for Disney and Lucasfilm.

However, I think we can take a more optimistic appraisal. First, both The Force Awakens and Rogue One were well received by fans and critics alike, so there's definitely more goodwill going into The Last Jedi. Secondly, Deadline already has tracking indicating that presale tickets are outperforming Rogue One, and are "just under" The Force Awakens. Finally, I think we should look more closely at the box office performances of The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and The Phantom Menace. Why these three films instead of any of the others is simple. Both A New Hope and The Force Awakens are such extreme examples, that it's best to consider them to be statistical anomalies—including them would only skew the results. Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith had been released to a leery fanbase and disinterested public after The Phantom Menace. While there is definitely an instinct to lump in The Phantom Menace with the other prequels, from a box office perspective, the film was largely unaffected by the scorn it developed among the fanbase. And Rogue One was intended to be a "smaller" release compared to the "Saga" films. That leaves The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and The Phantom Menace. If these three films are indicative of the average performance of a Star Wars saga film, than the average potential domestic gross is around $705 million.

But how about the opening weekend? The Force Awakens had a multiplier of 3.78 and Rogue One had a multiplier of 3.43. I would hazard a guess that The Last Jedi will perform closer to Rogue One than it will to The Force Awakens—it was the sequel many had been waiting over 30 years for, it was destined to over-perform. So let’s guess that a typical Star Wars film performs with a 3.4 multiplier. So, a $705 million gross with a 3.4 multiplier gets us an opening weekend number of $207 million.

The method used to get these numbers is by no means scientific, but this gives us decent guidance for The Last Jedi, and possibly for future Star Wars releases.

#Box Office #Star Wars #Star Wars: The Last Jedi #The Last Jedi

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lost-butnottoomuch · 8 years ago

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A Brief Guide To Believing in Fairy-tales at 22

(Alternately Titled: How I hope to find the Beauty to my Beast)

Step 1: Small Towns and Escapades

Let me get one thing straight, it’s not about escaping the provincial town, it’s about escaping the provincial life. Do not spend your life complaining about where you are when you’re not even trying to do something new. Poor provincial towns have earned such a terrible rep (thanks to everything ever written or made!) that it’s easy to forget that in the age of the internet, nothing has to remain provincial anymore. There’s always a new adventure, an escapade waiting for you, you just have to hit the right keywords on the search bar.

However, I am an advocate of the Move Out of Your Small Town club (like Lou Reed here), so yes, seek adventure in the far beyond as you set out to find your fairy tale. Setting out on an adventure on your own is never easy. It gets a lot scarier when you turn on the news. And definitely a lot worse when it involves student loans. You can fill your head up with all the books you like and be as fascinated as your little heart desires, but in the quest of adventure, foolishness holds no place. So maybe take a few self-defence classes and carry some pepper spray before you board that flight.

There. Now you’ve escaped the provincial town. But what use is it if you venture out into a brand new city with endless possibilities if you only stay at home and stream whatever new form of brain drain Netflix has to share with you every weekend? (No. You can’t call it “Netflix and Chill” or “Recuperating” or “Recharging my batteries”. Giving it a name does not help.) The key to finding your magic is exploring. So pace yourself and explore! Explore the city, explore the food, explore the people (but don’t be creepy about it), explore that giant circle outside your comfort zone and discover the magic for yourself!

And always remember to “Be brave, my love”.

Step 2: Talking Teacups - Yes or No?

Short answer, no. If a tea cup starts talking to you, definitely contact your doctor. And stop stressing about work so much. Now that that’s clear, let’s talk about finding your little bit of enchantment amidst the madness of the 21st century life.

“Breadcrumbing” has become a ridiculously common phenomenon and the more I looked for it, the more I noticed it around me. It’s not just the case with that guy you went out on a date with, it’s also that friend who swears “I’ll always be here for you” but the last time you met them was a couple months back when you couldn’t even have a decent heartfelt conversation. These are wonderful people in your life who are willing to as they say, be there for you when you need it, but without realizing, we’ve started banking on these relationships more than we should over time. Their digital presence is enough to fill us up for an afternoon and keep us holding on for weeks, that we often forget that maybe we don’t have as much love and support around us in the moment as we’d like to think. The point to this is, make more friends!

Your fairy tale needs a little more support than you think. And no, like I said, talking tea-cups cannot fill that space.

Step 3: How to Not Let Village Folk Burn Your House Down

Ready for a dark twist in your story? Well, you should be. It’s probably not as big as an enchantress dropping that eternal damnation curse on you. It’s more along the lines of someone telling you your favourite story is just a case of Stockholm’s Syndrome (Just to be clear, I have a solid strong argument against this case, which I save for another time).

People always find a way to ruin the best things. Personally, I’ve always been the kind that loses interest in a thing the minute it catches on. It’s one of my worst qualities. I’ve found that I can easily be passionate about a thing but the more people that I involve in my interests, the more I lose it. So here’s the trick to not letting ignorant village folk try and tear down your castle: Make it yours.

Make whatever you love so beautifully and ardently belong to you. Try and find something so uniquely special within your thing of affection that it won’t matter to you what someone else says or thinks of it, and then do something about it.

Talk. Make art. Share it! Or don’t! Do whatever it is that makes you feel more passionately about the little things you love! Fill yourself up with more, and then don’t worry about what anyone thinks. Passion isn’t always the brightest burning flame, sometimes it’s a little spark that needs some attention. In all honesty, the house only burns down when you’re not trying to save it.

Step 4: Magic - Just for the 11-year old in you?

If I may switch the fantasy land metaphor I’m using for a minute, I’d just like to mention that I actually waited all day long on my 11th birthday for a letter. I really did. I didn’t cry or anything when I didn’t get it. It was actually the opposite because a part of me hoped an owl would burst through the door any second and that only made my day just a little bit better every minute. I was filled with hope and excitement for whatever was to come my way throughout the day, and as I write this I realize I haven’t felt that way in so long!

Just because it didn’t happen when I expected it to, over time I stopped believing that wonderful things could happen any minute. This isn’t the section where I write about the aggressive optimism that every fairy tale lead seems to have. It’s the part where I try to convince you that maybe your Hogwarts owl just got hit by a truck or something on his way to delivering your letter. Stay with me here, what I’m trying to say through this ridiculously twisted metaphor, is that just because you never got any proof doesn’t mean you don’t have that magic inside you. (This is where I picture Hagrid going “You’re a wizard, Harry”).

So maybe something wonderful won’t happen to you any minute now. But that’s no reason for you to lose that sparkle in your eye (the metaphorical kind, if it’s an actual sparkle please contact your local ophthalmologist). So yes, believe in magic. It doesn’t matter if you’re ten or twenty-two or a hundred! Believe! And always live in constant hope that your letter might still come bursting in.

Step 5: Beauty or the Beast?

This is my favourite part. Through all the things you’ve seen in life so far, is it possible to still believe that there is a (personally speaking) Prince tall nerdy IT guy with a good sense of humor waiting for you out there?

Maybe. I’d like to think so.

I wanted to write about this for my first post because I’ve always fiercely believed that the best intentions can do no harm to anyone, but that’s not true. As I watched Beauty and the Beast, I cried not because I felt the joy of true love (fine, a little because I felt the joy of true love. Whatever) but more because I related to Beast more than I should’ve in that moment.

So the final and most important rule here is to not fool yourself. Past experiences have taught me that sometimes you’re the Beauty and well, more often you’re the Beast. It’s easy to be a little shallow sometimes, it’s easy to throw away all that you take for granted, and it’s easier, at the end of the day, to convince yourself you did nothing wrong. But don’t be so tough on yourself either. When you realize you’re not perfect, start trying your best to be a little better than you were yesterday. Then maybe one day when the right nerd comes along you’ll see it for all that you really should and get that Happily Ever After.

The End.

P.S: No more Disney metaphors. For life. No really, I’m done.

#Guide #Twenties #Figuring it out #Disney #Beauty and the beast #modern fairytale #long posts #writers #writing #spilled ink #spilled words #long reads #afternoons #life #hogwarts

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