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hongssimi · 3 months ago

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don't wanna cry // hong seunghan

ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ seunghan didn't know how loved he was. he thought leaving was for the better. if only he had realised earlier, would things have changed?

ᝰ pairing .ᐟ hong seunghan x those who love him

ᝰ genre .ᐟ angst

ᝰ word count .ᐟ 1.4k+

ᝰ warning .ᐟ mentions of events from october 11th to october 13th including funeral wreaths, hate, bullying, and death threats

ᝰ author's note .ᐟ got on tiktok and got depressed, again. so i guess… here's an angsty, sad, and traumatic one shot that would probably make you cry. song recommendation while reading, seventeen's don't wanna cry.

i think it's better for the team if i leave.

seunghan didn't expect the amount of funeral wreaths left for him in front of his company's doorstep. piles, after piles, after piles of them. each more hurtful than the next.

"riize is 6"

"hong seunghan out"

"freeloader, get lost!"

"i respectfully pray for the peace of mind for the deceased"

respect? where was the respect in question? they were treating him as dead. a perfectly alive and breathing 21-year-old who had just celebrated his birthday just days prior. what had he done so bad to be treated like this?

his head was feeling so complicated. where exactly did he go wrong? he had discussed with the company and the members. they seemed to be in support of him coming back, despite the risks of losing the current fanbase that was built around the six members while he was on hiatus.

seunghan used to hear the members tell him stories in the dorms about their fans holding up banners with his face or slogans with the phrase "riize is seven". they would excitedly text him after performing, telling him that he shouldn't give up. everyone wanted him back. but he didn't believe them. he knew it was just make him feel better. or he thought he did.

walking away from the wreaths, the black-hooded boy headed towards his favourite space. his advertisement board at seoul forest station. a place of comfort. he remembered the very first time he had his face on the board was when he debuted. and then it appeared again in january. since then, it was always his face at that specific location in the station. fans nicknamed the location "seunghan's spot".

the last time he read the notes on the board, the words of support were so sweet. in those messages, fans really missed and cared for him. he was even approached by someone, giving him support and telling him to stay strong. that they would wait for him to come back.

seunghan's birthday board was fuller than ever. he almost couldn't see his face on the board. he just stood far away, staring at the countless amount of notes, feeling apologetic. seeing the backlash for the past two days, the company asked to meet with him, asking him if he was sure he wanted to stay.

seunghan wasn't sure why they asked him that. he was even more confused why they did nothing about the funeral wreaths outside the company. was it not illegal? he had so many thoughts, all left unanswered. where was the "family" that he thought there was, the reason to why he even decided to join this company?

seunghan was not a boy to be left alone. he was one to make rash decisions, and needed someone to hold him back. as an F, he needed his fellow F to empathize with him. he needed his Ts to ground him down that he should stay. but they weren't there.

all his bandmates could do was to post a thinkpiece on weverse, saying they convinced him to come back, in the midst of an overseas schedule. they thought long and hard about the decision and decided to risk it all. they were willing to get scolded for the post, willing to lose fans to be on stage again, but with him. but they got called liars, accused of having the post ghostwritten, words being put in their mouths that they never wanted him back.

seunghan felt guilty. the members never deserved the hate. they've achieved so much without him. he didn't want to ruin it by coming back. he put the members first, like the sweet boy he was.

he got in contact with the company. and that's when he realised he made a big mistake. hashtags were trending. boycotts were happening. protest trucks were driving in. in-person protests were held. international news were covering his story. he realised he was essentially coerced into leaving the team.

"no seunghan no riize"

"riize is seven"

"sm, why did you listen to the minority?"

"sm supports bullying"

"sm, where's the protection you said you would do?"

"sm, reveal the lawsuit processions. if you even did any, for the past 10 months."

there were much, much, more people anticipating his comeback. they were truly, supporting him. he never realised how much of a human rights issue the funeral wreaths were until it was pointed out. he never realised the company was all talk, no action. he was their artist, why didn't they post about filing lawsuits when they announced he came back?

seunghan realised his idea of the company's image being family was just extremely clouded. he finally understood what it meant when people said to never trust companies that market themselves as family.

at some point, at night, he was called to the company again. he was crossing the street, all covered up, when he saw someone with his photocard dangling on their bag. he lowered his cap, apologetically, knowing it was a fan who was probably hurt by him leaving. he didn't want to be recognised and hurt them further. he left quietly, heading into the company building.

he was told they would write up a notice about monitoring any slander written against him. until the notice was posted. did the company never wanted him back? how come his friends had ongoing lawsuits, but there was nothing in his notice? what about the past 10 months where people were saying just about anything? what about the person who lied about his ex-girlfriend being a minor? what about the person who invaded his privacy by leaking photos of his private life?

seunghan was honestly sick and tired of it all. he was always kind to everyone. hell, he was even kind to animals. he even bought a necklace to support a cause related to animals, even though he's afraid of all animals. what did he even do to deserve such treatment?

more projects came out. some were even writing public letters, making an e-book of letters for him. he read all of them. even those he couldn't understand. he just stared at the foreign words and smiled adoringly, knowing it was messages of good wishes for him.

some foreign fans even wrote in korean. some were in perfect korean while some were painfully obvious that it was translated by machine. seunghan tried his best to understand it all, and it was all so sweet.

"seunghan, i miss you"

"i miss you with rii7e"

"hani, i wish you stayed"

"seunghan-ie, i'm not crying so please come back"

"seunghan, come back before i steal sohee"

"seunghan, come back, let me lure you with crayon shin-chan merchandise"

some of the messages were truly hilarious. coping with sadness by being funny. he loved his fans. they were truly positive. their jokes made him smile.

"have you eaten? are you living well?"

"eat some rice, don't just eat bibimmyeon, okay?"

"are you doing well? i'm not doing so well, but i hope that at least you are"

"seunghan, we will always be proud of you. keep your head up"

"hani, don't apologise. you didn't do anything wrong."

"seunghan-ie, you were just a teenager who made some mistakes. we all have mistakes"

"seunghan, cheer up!"

"seunghan, we're always with you"

so many messages were concerned for him and his well-being. even though he knew that they weren't doing well either. they waited ten months and lost him just only after two days, without even getting to see his face.

one of the messages he read stuck to him, "i really want to cry, but if i cry now, i might not be able to see you at all. so i'll fight for you."

reading the messages just made him break down, and cry. guilt, apologetic, comforted, sorry, sad, happy... seunghan felt all kinds of emotions. he didn't want to cry, he wanted to pretend he was fine. but how was he supposed to be fine, when his fans were crying because their words of love weren't enough to make him stay?

he didn't know how to fix the problem. he didn't have much power. the last time seunghan came back, he was previously just on hiatus. this time, he had truly left the team. he wondered if he could even come back. at least to make briize — no, brii7e — happy? he just cried, cried, and cried. he didn't know how to make it a happy ending.

why didn't he hold on just a bit longer?

why couldn't he see the amount of support he had this whole time?

if he knew, would things have turned out differently?

why didn't i realise sooner?

✶⋆.˚꩜ AFTERTHOUGHTS .ᐟ˙⋆✶ i'm crying as i write this. seunghan, i miss you so bad. how are you? are you eating well? you are so strong. i'm sorry i couldn't do more to protect you. just know that i will always be proud of you, always. and so will all brii7e and hongjjanggus. we love and miss you so much.

✶⋆.˚꩜ PERMANENT RII7E TAGLIST .ᐟ˙⋆✶

do not repost works © hongssimi

#ssimi.sai #hong seunghan #seunghan #riize is seven #bring seunghan back #seunghan scenarios #seunghan imagine #riize imagines #riize scenarios #i miss rii7e #i miss seunghan

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1000sunnygo · 1 year ago

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Trafalgar D. Water Law: Whats the significance of Water?

Gonna be a long one, you can scroll down to TLDR below.

Many of us know that the spelling of Water in Law's name isn't the actual katakana spelling of the liquid water, ウォーター (Wo-ta-), which follows the classic British pronunciation. Instead, it's a new word ワーテル (Wa-teru), which combining with "Law" (written as "Ro, ロー" in Japanese) makes the correct Japanese spelling for "Waterloo (ワーテルロー)".

Big Mom's hat is named "Napoleon", the irony.

For the sake of separation from water, let's call it "Watel" for now.

It may not be that deep. "Waterloo" could be a simple pun Oda came up with on a whim, but the scene leaves a bit of mystery. Law was abruptly cut off while talking with Baby 5 and Buffalo. And the pun only works in Law's name; it wouldn't work on, say, his sister Lami's name.

Also, for Law to uncover the mystery of his checkered fate, it'd make sense that his character arc is leading to finding the history of his own bloodline.

Trafalgar family happens to be the only family of Ds with an extra hidden name so there's something going on. Unfortunately, Law is the only surviving member of Trafalgar family and he knows nothing about it. Now it's up to him to restore his family's lost knowledge.

Law says "Watel" is 忌み名, a "secret name."

The word 忌み名 (imina) is an uncommon word, Japanese readers needed to do some dictionary digging too. "Imi" (忌み) means abstinence, taboo, religious purification; "na" 名 means name. Imina can be defined as a pure name, or a taboo name.

There's an old Japanese article speculating about Law's name, here's a passage from it:

The term "忌み名" encompasses meanings such as "given name for a person of high status," "title bestowed based on achievements during one's lifetime," and "name used for the deceased person." If Watel is a "忌み名" meaning a "given name for a person of high status," it might trace back to Law's ancestors, possibly connecting to nobility. Therefore, online discussions include speculations like "Were Law's ancestors individuals of considerable status?" or "Could they have been part of the royalty?"

To clarify what it meant with "the name given to a deceased person", I've read some articles about "imina", so let me share what I understood. It's an additional knowledge unrelated to Law's name, I'll explain why afterwards.

Names are often believed to be linked to spirituality, like how you can't exorcise a devil without its name, or use voodoo dolls on a person without knowing their name. In old Japan and China, sometimes two names were given to a person. One is the name that is shared with everyone, other is their taboo name 忌み名 'imina' - that is kept hidden within the family. This name relates to the person's spirituality.

忌み also means pure. As spirit world is linked to deities and gods, and dead body is considered impure. A person would be called in their imina or pure name when the person dies and become a spirit. It was forbidden to call a person using their imina during their lifetime, and to refer to them in their human world name after their death.

The parents gave their children a good 'imina' for their better future. A child with 'imina' has a connection with their spirituality, and by knowing that name, they were believed to have some control over their future.

According to this classic definition, a living person is never called in their imina which is their spirit's name, and it wouldn't be tucked into their real name. For Law to have an 'imina', rather than as his spiritual name, it is implied that his family carried Watel as a secret title that become part of a name over the generations.

From the theories I've read about Law's name, here's a common ground most of them agreed on:

D is a name shared among many people from The Ancient Kingdom, whereas the name Watel specifies a title given to a specific bloodline, for a yet unknown reason.

The theory that D's aren't a single bloodline became more apparent over time, it's now believed to be a codename that was passed down regardless of their ethnicity and family history (ie. Queen Lily who didn't belong to ancient kingdom) - only thing common among them is that they're the enemies of "gods", aka Celestial Dragons.

So who were the Watel? Throwing in my personal theory....

I think Trafalgar family didn't belong to the Ancient Kingdom. Rather, they were affiliates of the Neferteri Family that took the name "D".

There are some similarities between Trafalgar and Neferteri families.

Both of these families are the only D's that kept their names hidden, implying that their ancestors could retain some knowledge of the void century (unlike other Ds who seem to know nothing of D's significance, which means the truth of their bloodline was completely suppressed from being passed down). How could these two families survive the complete purge of knowledge? By never belonging to the ancient kingdom.

Both Neferteri and Trafalgar families are loosely attached to the classic "D" characteristics, to the point you can't immediately associate them to being D's. Rather than bringing a wave of change themselves, they're particularly interested about learning the history. Notably Cobra and Law.

Here's the headcanon territory.

The two families probably had connections in the past through two people: Queen Neferteri Lily and a Trafalgar who we don't know yet.

How were they connected? Couldn't be marriage, as the family names weren't exchanged.

Doctor and Patient, perhaps?

Watel was a title given to the Trafalgar by Queen Lily. That's where the 'title connected to royalty' of imina comes from.

The word Watel (ワーテル) doesn't have a meaning per se, but I can push it a little in meta direction.

The more convincing theory is that it's a wordplay, Watel = War Tale (in japanese it only needs a space in the middle of the word) similar to Raftel = Laugh tale. Probably a title given for the heroic activities of Trafalgars during the war between the Celestials and the Ancient Kingdom.

A less convincing theory is that Watel's close alternative "Water" goes in combination with "Lily" to form Water Lily. We know that Arabasta is based on Egypt, and Water Lily in Egyptian culture has a great significance and connection to sun. Maybe the Queen's gesture of respect was to give a title that would combine with her name.

Reminder that Law's name also has a 'combination pun', Waterloo.

This is the only ancient doctor that has been mentioned in One Piece. Possibly the same doctor - that'd tie up most loose thread together. Too convenient? hasn't stopped Oda until now, has it?

Doctor Trafalgar possessed the power of ope ope no mi and performed many miracle operations, Queen Lily hired them for their skill and talent, giving them a royal title. Both Lily and the doctor took the codename "D" to support the people from Ancient Kingdom who were rebelling against Imu and the Celestials.

Doctor Trafalgar discovered the fruit's potential of performing a perennial youth surgery, an information that was intercepted by Nerona Imu. The doctor was kidnapped and forced to perform the surgery on him, the process taking thier life.

Alternative could be that Watel was the given name of the doctor and Trafalgar family simply carry it as a tribute to them, remembering their connection to a royal family and an inevitable sacrifice.

The fruit returning to the same family, to another Trafalgar who has yet to confront Imu as a D to find the history of their family - would truly affirm that Law's life is "checkered." It'd be poetic for Law to play a key role in Imu's downfall. lHopefully without putting his own life at risk.

Rosinante believed Law is kept alive as if by a divine force. He must have a role to play.

TL;DR

- Law's secret family name Watel is an 'imina', in his own words, which signifies that it's a secret title passed down by his ancestors.

- Similar to Neferteri Family, Trafalgar Family are D's who didn't belong to the ancient kingdom and thus survived the purge of knowledge, able to withhold some knowledge and keep the D in their names hidden over generations.

-The ancestors of both of these families took the codename 'D' like people from ancient kingdom to support their action against Imu, even though they didn't belong to the ancient kingdom themselves.

-Watel was either the royal title or the given name of a Trafalgar who worked under/with Neferteri Lili, and was likely a doctor who possessed and discovered the immortality operation of Ope Ope no mi.

-The said doctor was forced to grant perpetual youth to Imu, dying in the process. Trafalgar family carry 'Watel' in their names as a tribute to the fallen ancestor.

-Law having the same fruit as his fallen ancestor is the truth of his checkered fate. It's possible that he will be involved in taking down Imu.

#one piece theory #one piece theories #trafalgar law #trafalgar d. water law #one piece #nerona imu #will of d #nefertari lili #nefertari cobra #charlotte linlin #ope ope no mi #mine #one piece meta #trafalgar law meta

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bedtimegiraffe · 21 days ago

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The relationship Aerin wants with his mother is not the one he had, despite all the smiling and hugs in this chapter.

So let's do a chronological deep dive of what we learn about Aerin's mother and their relationship.

This only covers up to Book 3, Chapter 9 because I'm playing general release. We still have interactions between these two ahead (I assume), so I'll update if we get anything major! The snippet we see in the divination scene has me very nervous (and excited) this is going to go one of two very angsty ways. NO SPOILERS PLEASE VIP PLAYERS Unless you're reading this in the future and the general release is already done. Then go for it.

Book 1, Chapter 8:

Our first mention of Aerin's mother (technically) happens in Book 1, Chapter 8 during Aerin's diamond scene.

As @the-unconquered-queen pointed out, parents is very much plural. Aerin has the father we can learn about in a Lore Tablet earlier and (presumably) a mother. And neither seemed to give him much attention at all, to the point that to his child self magic seemed like the only solution. That was how invisible Aerin felt to them. So we know neither of Aerin's parents went out of their way to spend time with or appreciate him.

TTRPG (Released toward the end of Book 2):

Aerin's mother gets a name and confirmation that she is dead in the Aerin's inventory list.

I've always found this ambiguity about the signet ring fascinating. It's not, "Signet Ring given by his deceased mother, Queen Aurinae," but, "from his deceased mother."

We don't know how Aerin got it from her. Did she specifically make it known before her death that she wanted Aerin to have her signet ring? Or did she die and King Arlan went, "Well, I guess the boy is technically a Valleros. Give him my dead wife's signet ring, she's not using it anymore." Signet rings were often passed down in real-world history, so that's not unlikely.

Especially because Aerin never brings this up. If it was sentimental because of the connection to his mother, why give it away so easily? When he gives it to MC, it could be a way to protect them, both for their own sake and to make sure they can get all the Onyx Shards. But it really seems like he could have just given them a letter with his seal to cover that.

And why not say it belonged to his mother? Wouldn't that be endearing and make it more valuable to MC? Maybe Aerin realized it was given to him as a practical thing, not a genuine expression of connection.

Book 3, Chapter 1:

It all goes silent on the Aurinae front until the floodgates open in Book 3. In the first chapter, you get this discussion (if you choose the non-romance option for Aerin's diamond scene).

Aurinae was very into alchemy, like Aerin is now. It made her popular in court, which is probably part of why it appealed to Aerin. He couldn't be a strong warrior like his brother, but maybe he could get some positive attention for making useful potions like his mother.

Crucially, based on what Aerin says here, she did not teach him. Not to say that she necessarily wouldn't have- I'm willing to bet she died pre-Dreadlord, so when Aerin was 9 or younger. But still, alchemy was something he picked up in earnest after she was already gone. He wanted to feel closer to her, to feel like he had that connection with her, something in common with his mother, and was doing something she could be proud of.

Book 3, Chapter 3:

This reads to me very much like Aerin's mother was the only member of his immediate family not lashing out at him. Which is good! But the bar is so incredibly low, this just tells us she wasn't the worst.

This is before the party learns that anyone dead can look in on the living. So to Aerin, it seemed like Aurinae may or may not have been hearing from newly dead people that Aerin summoned the Dreadlord, killed his brother, got disinherited and thrown in prison, then died from wandering off like an idiot (according to the offical story).

Aerin's nervousness here is completely understandable. He knows his father hates him. He knows his brother hates him. But he doesn't know how his mother feels. She wasn't violent toward him and there is a chance she might actually love him.

Book 3, Chapter 9:

The woman herself appears!

Aurinae makes a pretty good first impression. Aerin has absolutely had it rough and it's good that she acknowledges that. Though thanking the group for "looking after" him shows that same mentality the rest of the family has that Aerin is weak and needs to be taken care of to survive.

This is where it gets extremely interesting. Aerin sounds almost concerned for Baldur. Like he feels bad that he's at the river. Which we know he very much does not. I'd be willing to bet Aerin wishes Baldur was somewhere much worse (seriously, does anyone go to the Hells? Does he get pity points for being murdered?) Something about speaking with his mother makes Aerin show concern for his abusive brother.

Aerin also doesn't confess or ask forgiveness for killing Baldur. Maybe he doesn't want to bring that part up?

As for Aurinae... this is not an apology. This is not an acknowledgment of any negligence or regret on her part. In fact, it's phrased in a way that makes it clear she has absolutely no blame for what happened. She had hoped Baldur would act one way, and he did not. Oh well.

This is also an incredibly tame reaction. Like he embarrassed her at a party, not ruthlessly beat and intimidated her child. I would think most people would be devastated and/or enraged, maybe so relieved that despite all that Aerin is okay. The most generous possible reading is that she still has that noble desire not to show her emotions in public and she doesn't want to upset Aerin by getting into it here.

First of all, I want to shake this man. Second, Aerin doesn't usually devalue himself like this. When alone with MC or as a quip while fighting unkillable monsters, sure. But not with a genuine smile. This feels like Aerin making the point that he'll try really hard but he might still be weak and useless.

And this is the end of the interaction. No reassurance from Aurinae. And for the record, Tyril's mother is far more complimentary toward Aerin than his own mother is.

During the diamond scene, this is part of the conversation if you ask for a story about Aerin.

It seems like Aurinae doesn't necessarily connect Aerin's interest in alchemy to her own. But it sounds like she did at least take some interest in his studies. So that's something!

But you get something else if you ask for a story about the mothers. They talk about an extremely spicy tea Aurinae makes. Apparently Aerin tried it as a child and...

Oh wow. If this isn't a metaphor for pre-Onyx Shards Aerin, I don't know what is. Literally in pain trying to please someone else, insisting everything is great.

If you choose to pull Aerin aside later, he admits that he's been acting differently with Aurinae around, describing it as "falling into old patterns."

One of the main reasons Aerin wanted to be close to his mother as a child was hoping that she would rescue him. Again, I think it's helpful to recognize what this isn't. This isn't Aerin saying being around his mother made him happy, or feel safe. It's him saying he hoped that if he could be "good enough" she would protect him. Because she had no innate desire or reason to do that. And at least she wasn't actively scaring him like his father and brother.

Aerin's reason it was a "foolish dream" is also very telling. Not because protocol wouldn't allow it, but because Aurinae saw no reason to leave. They didn't treat her poorly, so why would she want to leave? Certainly not to protect her younger son.

If she really had "no trouble putting her foot down," why no intervention between Aerin and Baldur? It sounds like she wasn't scared of the rest of the family. So did she not notice? Or did she not care?

What we've seen so far has not convinced me that Aerin and Aurinae actually had a loving relationship. Just that Aerin wanted one so badly he can almost see it that way. Because Aurinae is better than the rest of his family, but still far from a good mom with genuine affection for her child.

I will be keeping my headcanon that Aerin was desperate to connect with his mother, but she never particularly cared about him.

Screenshots are a combination of my own and ones from Neckrone Shen's playthroughs on youtube. I feel like I owe them a drink for all the time they've saved me looking for stuff.

#I feel a little bit like a detective with one of those red string boards over here but I'm not mad about it.#For the record- herbology is a Harry Potter word not one that has been used more broadly #This game keep breaking my heart into smaller and smaller pieces for Aerin #At least we're getting to meet everyone's hot moms!#'The Valleros family has a temper' thing really reminds me of the Plantagenets. They ruled England for 300ish years and had a famous temper #Like- to the point that they were rumored to come from a bloodline with dark magic/the Devil #But if you're gonna research them start with Eleanor of Aquitaine. She married into it and is rad as hell.#choices bolas #blades of light and shadow #blades of light and shadow 3 #aerin valleros #aurinae valleros #cw physical abuse #cw abuse #Had to go back and fix a freudian slip typo- I like to think Baldur would hate me but that's not what I meant

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localcatmutt · 7 months ago

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A Discussion On "Factkin"

Before reading any of this post, please be aware that I will be using the psychological terms correctly. For example, when i describe delusional behaviour it is NOT an insult, it is used correctly in the way a psychiatrist or doctor would. Nothing in this post it attacking any one individual, nor is it meant to bully. I am ONLY educating. <3

First and foremost, what IS factkin?

Factkin is a term that means an individual who identifies as a non-fictional, real human being. These “identities” are rooted in real-life individuals who exist in the shared reality, whether this person is currently alive or deceased. The people they claim to identify as are typically historical or famous in nature.

Factkin has been a known term in the community for as long as I have been in it. Most older generations like myself have come across the label at least once in our time here, and it is commonly known to come from individuals who mocked the alterhuman community (aka trolls or haters).

Why would someone be factkin?

As children develop into the adults they will one day become, their environment has a big impact on their personality. Their brains will unconsciously pick up traits from the people they grow up with, like their parents, friends, siblings and other family members, even the individuals they see on television! There will be many phases in their lives that will be influenced by all these different people. This can impact their behaviour, interests, beliefs, styles, speech patterns (like dialect or accent), and so much more. The majority of those traits they pick up though will fade away with time.

The traits that DO stay, may eventually become part of their base identity once they reach the end of their mental development. But even then they can still pick up more traits from those around them in adulthood.

So where am i going with this? Well, some kids may confuse this type of development for identifying as the other person.

I will use celebrities for example, since that is the typical source for a “factkin identity”.

We are all exposed to many famous celebrities, either from our favourite movies, television shows, or the music we listen to. They are all over the media we see around us. And people, especially minors who are in their developmental stages and are experimenting with their identities, will see all these amazing and influential people everywhere. They may want to be like them, or want to actually BE them. Then, whether it is consciously or unconsciously done, they will pick up traits from that celebrity.

Someone who isn't endlessly exposed to social media wouldn't think much of it, but if you're uneducated and come across the term “factkin”, they might think that’s what they are, rather than someone who idolizes another human being.

Other reasons may have to do with unhealthy coping strategies or psychotic/delusional symptoms that are left unchecked. Trauma and mental health can have a big impact on someone’s identity development. Underlying issues can cause confusion between a real mental illness and the belief that one is someone entirely different than who they really are.

It may also be an obsession with a figure that has gone a tad bit too far, and has some behavioural issues tied to it similar to addiction. In the sense that someone is so unhealthily dependent on the famous person, that they cannot tell that they are NOT the person they are obsessed with.

To put it simply, someone will never actually be factkin, it is just normal or abnormal developmental stages in life that has been confused with the term factkin, a delusional/psychotic disorder/experience, unhealthy coping mechanisms, an unchecked obsession, or confusion with one’s identity.

Idols

Having an idol is fairly common. The majority of us have had one in our lives. Sometimes our idol happens to be our mother or father. Sometimes its a singer, an actor or some other famous individual. An idol, by definition, is a person that is greatly admired, loved and revered. Idols are often figures that individuals hope to one day become. Although not in the literal sense like factkin claim to be. Rather, people want to become similar to their idol. That itself is healthy and doesn't normally have any negative impact, as long as the person still understands individuality (that nobody is perfectly like one another, and that they still have to be themselves.)

This is another possible factor in the confusion that self-claimed factkin may have with their own identity.

Past Lives

A past life is a fairly common concept for alterhumans. Many believe their identity to be caused by a past life they had as said being/animal they still currently identify as. Factkin have also been known to claim that they have a past life as some famous or historical figure. That alone isn't too harmful, as long as they don’t go around expecting people to treat them like that figure.

If you have a past life as a human being, can you still identify as that individual? Well, yes I guess. But does it make you factkin? No. As i stated above, factkin doesn't fit in the alterhuman community. It doesnt warrant its own term.

People who claim the factkin label have more commonly identified as currently living people anyhow, so there is no excuse for such a thing.

Grandiose Delusion

There are many different kinds of delusional disorders that I have studied, and when it comes to factkin, the one that especially comes to mind is the Grandiose delusion, or delusion of grandeur. This delusion is characterized by an individual who believes that they are someone other than who they are, such as a supernatural figure (like a god), or a famous individual (historical or currently alive). Does that sound familiar?

I came across this type of delusion during my studies years ago, and most cases of Grandiose Delusion that I have read about, have similarities to factkin and the people who identify as religious gods (like loki, anubis, jesus, etc).

The thing with delusions is that the people who experience this psychological symptom or disorder cant control it, nor are they always aware of it. So it poses many issues when trying to explain the truth to them. Telling them that they are not beyonce or justin bieber, and that they are actually John Doe who lives in Ohio, wont always go through to them.

Again, factkin is NOT a thing, but grandiose delusion is. Doesn't mean they can spread misinformation, that behaviour cant be enabled. But they also shouldn't be outright attacked, as again, they cant control their delusional behaviour. The best way we can approach someone with this psychological issue is by educating and encouraging them to seek professional help, and then educating the community without mentioning the individuals with the delusion.

Why is factkin problematic?

Unlike Otherkin or Therians who identify as species, factkin identify as specific individuals (living or deceased). Identifying as a species poses no harm to anyone. But there are lots of issues that come up when you identify as a specific person who exists. You are claiming to be this person, which surpass so many boundaries. This action is a violation of their privacy and their sense of self. It is okay to get inspiration from someone, but to claim to BE them is a whole other ordeal. Even going as far as mimicking/copying their personality is inappropriate on many levels. Nobody consents to such outrageous claims and behaviours.

Famous people get it a lot, I have seen it time and time again. Some even get surgeries to look like some celebrities they so strongly admire. I have even read some articles of young famous actors and singers whose mental health suffered when they heard of obsessed fans trying to become them. It crosses a line.

In addition, when it comes to celebrities, what you see on social media is rarely the whole truth, if it is even true at all. How could you even claim to be them when what you know is very likely just another facade they put on for the world to see? It’s unrealistic, truly. Both in a spiritual AND a psychological sense.

Impersonation, Identity Theft, Catfishing & Factkin

When debating the term factkin, the argument that is often brought up is identity theft. So let’s start with the definition for this: Identity theft (or fraud) is what happens when someone takes someone else’s name and personal information, and uses it without your permission to do whatever they like with it. This here is illegal, and you can be arrested or fined.

With this in mind, are “factkin” committing identity theft? Nope. Identity theft is a bit more than simply identifying as someone other than yourself.

What about catfishing?

Catfishing is the act of luring or pursuing someone into a relationship while pretending to be someone you arnt. Does this fit factkin? Well, no, BUT it can easily be something someone who is “factkin” can commit if they claim to be someone else other than theirselves.

What about impersonation?

Impersonation refers to the act of pretending to be someone you arnt. It can be assuming the identity of someone online, someone’s family member or imitating a public figure. Regardless of who is being impersonated, this act can have SERIOUS consequences for individuals and society as a whole. Impersonation doesnt always include criminal acts like identity theft or catfishing, but it can still have devastating affects on everyone involved, especially the person they are impersonating or identifying as.

I think this one fits the bill.

While someone who claims to be factkin may not confess to impersonation, claiming to identify as someone else still follows the same narrative. Someone who identifies as another person is claiming to be that person. Identity isn't cosplay, it is YOU. WHO YOU ARE. Therefore if you identify as Queen Elizabeth or Harry Styles, you are telling us that YOU are those people.

That very much sounds like impersonation to me.

NOTE – The major difference between Grandiose Delusion (or DMS) and impersonation is that impersonation is deliberate and intentional and conscious. The latter is an illness one does not choose to have.

My experience with having my identity taken

Many years ago I had my first experience with having my identity taken. Someone I didnt know (but knew my friends) took my name, my photos, whatever personal information they knew of me and my life, and they started identifying as me. I wasnt aware of it for months, until my friends found out about it. Then I was made aware of how far they had gone with this action. Not only did they pose as me, but they catfished other people using MY information and photos. One of the people they catfished was in love with me, and it absolutely shattered them. It was a whole messy situation that I wont get into here. But it had long lasting consequences on ME, my friends, and that girl who was manipulated.

The next time it happened was pretty similar, but it was a stranger that time.

On top of that I had people who were taking my very dear and personal experiences as their own, which isn't the same, but after what i dealt with, it definitely didnt make me feel any safer. I went off instagram from a while afterwards.

How it negatively impacts the identified person

The people who get used as someone else’s identity tend to get the worst of the negative impact. We feel incredibly unsafe, violated, and paranoid that other people out there will turn up and identify as us. They will steal our face and our name and our lives, and claim it as theirs. Read that again, see how crazy that sounds.

This isn't a laughing matter, its not a game. That is why I take factkin seriously. It is NOT appropriate. And it causes so much harm when you try to normalize this immoral behaviour. Using someone as your identity is NOT OKAY. It never will be.

Celebrities and historical figures are no different. Dead or alive, they deserve the same respect. To treat them any different would be to dehumanize them. Just because someone is famous, is a public figure or has a large following, doesnt mean you can identify AS them. Their privacy is already taken advantage of as it is, and they deal with enough impersonation already. Just look at some well known people in our own community! They have people create false accounts with their names, their faces, their posts, their information.

It breaks our trust in the world. It leaves us feeling like we have to watch our backs. It makes us uncomfortable. (US as in the people whose identities have been used and taken).

It’s ridiculous to want to normalize this toxic and disgusting behaviour.

How to deal with factkin?

Depending on the situation, there are different ways to deal with factkin. Firstly, attacking an individual using the label will never solve the situation. If you want to confront them, the best you can do is ask questions and encourage them to understand what they are doing by using that label. Educate them. If they confess to delusional thinking, encourage them to seek professional help. If they become defensive, I recommend leaving and blocking them, its not YOUR problem. Next, you can spread proper information about factkin and why it isn't an acceptable term.

Some kids may confuse factkin and connection. It’s okay to relate to other people, we all do it. But it doesnt have anything to do with factkin or the definition of the term. Sometimes all they need is someone to help them understand that. Not every person is well informed on terminology and education in the community. They might be unaware and need a hand to guide them. Dont always assume the worst of them.

To put it simply, don't attack, ask questions/don't assume, educate, encourage them to get help (if delusional), move on.

Conclusion

This post is already as long as it needs to be, I hope i was able to cover all the bases. If you have anything to add, let me know, I can make another part to this discussion. If you have questions, I will gladly answer them.

I hope that the message is delivered well. My intention is not to judge or hurt anybody, I am a lot more open-minded than some people may assume of me. I genuinely care about everyone, but not everything should be normalized or accepted in society or in this community.

I GET that they believe the “identity” is involuntary the same way otherkin/therian identities are, but it is still an innappropriate identity (same as god identities and those of cultural or religious beings.) My biggest issue isn't what they believe, but the fact they think its okay to normalize something like it and to inform people on it like its an innocent and harmless behaviour. The goal of this post is especially to spread the message that its NOT acceptable nor should it be normalized in the alterhuman community.

If you think this post is about anyone in particular, I assure you it isn't. Dont comment names or accounts of people who use the term “factkin” either (ill delete them). Especially if they are minors. This wont benefit anybody. I just want to educate. It has been something I’ve been meaning to discuss for a while, since the term factkin has existed longer than I have been in the community. Its nothing new.

Thank you for reading and I wish everyone a good day, sincerely.

- From your Local Tomcat, Ryuuko.

#therianthropy #alterhumanity #therian #therian things #theriotype #cat therian #therians #therian community #factkin #fictionkin

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anonymousewrites · 1 year ago

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A Good Day for Death Halloween Special 2023

Wednesday Addams x Reader

“Halloween is so important for Outcasts!” chirped Enid, flipping through her pinterest of costume ideas. “Come on, we have a huge party every year. You have to come and dress up!”

“All Hallow’s Eve is important to my family,” said Wednesday. She glanced at the variety of pink and fantastical outfits on Enid’s board. “However, we prefer to spend our time performing seances to commune with our deceased family members rather than at kids’ parties.”

“Addamses can actually die?” asked (Y/N). Honestly, that was the most surprising part of that discussion.

“When they decide they want to explore the afterlife,” said Wednesday matter-of-factly.

“Oh, cool!” said (Y/N) brightly. “I’m not really sure how easy it is for me, either. You know, child of Thanatos and all that.”

“We could find out,” said Wednesday.

“Let’s please not try to kill (Y/N),” said Enid, not liking how easily (Y/N) was nodding. They were way too willing to go along with Wednesday’s ideas.

“Another time, then.” Wednesday glanced at (Y/N). “Though I suppose I’d have to just take you to the brink of death.” She didn’t really want (Y/N) dead (not that she’d admit it to anyone. That would be soft).

“I trust you!” chirped (Y/N).

Wednesday couldn’t respond to that as she felt her heart skip a beat (a pleasant sensation since it might signal her death). (Y/N) was surprisingly skilled at finding that Wednesday was (unfortunately) soft for them.

“Hey, hey, focus, you two!” said Enid. “We need costumes!”

“I already have mine,” said (Y/N), shrugging.

Enid sighed, and her shoulders slouched. “You go as the exact same thing every year!”

“I updated the outfit this time,” said (Y/N), smiling. They looked at Wednesday and grinned. “I always go as a grim reaper.”

“Appropriate choice,” remarked Wednesday.

“Thanks,” said (Y/N), smiling.

“Fine, fine, you’re a reaper as usual,” said Enid. She crossed her arms. “Wednesday, tell me you of all people have a cool costume.”

“I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else,” said Wednesday.

“Oh, nice,” said (Y/N).

“You guys are both terrible at this,” muttered Enid. She threw up her hands. “Okay, fine. But I need help since I actually put in effort. I have a few ideas, but I have no idea what to do.”

“You should go as my victim,” said Wednesday.

“Uh, no thanks,” said Enid. “I was thinking of going as Draculaura or Princess Peach.”

“Definitely Princess Peach. We have enough Fangs here already,” said (Y/N). Wednesday nodded in agreement.

“But she’s so cute…” Enid pouted, but (Y/N) and Wednesday had a point. “At least Princess Peach is totally in my color scheme.” She grinned. “Now, let’s get ready for the party!”

“I’m not going,” said Wednesday.

“You say that now, but Enid loves this party. You’re not getting out of it,” teased (Y/N). They smiled. “But don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

Wednesday supposed that would make it better couldn’t make it worse.

“I still don’t understand parties,” remarked Wednesday as she stared around herself at the students partying and dancing (and drinking).

Enid almost patted her on the back but stopped since Wednesday didn’t like physical touch. “I know you don’t like parties, but (Y/N) will be here soon.” She grinned at Wednesday, dressed in a blond wig and a knee-length pink dress decorated with Nintendo emblems.

“Why would that change anything?” said Wednesday, refusing to look at Enid’s smile.

“No reason,” chirped Enid. “Here they come, have fun!” Enid knew very well that Wednesday liked (Y/N), so she was more than happy to leave them alone.

“Hey, Wednesday!” said (Y/N). They blinked as Enid left. “Where’s Enid going?”

“She likes to dance,” said Wednesday simply.

She glanced at (Y/N) and their costume. They had black trousers and a crop top on with a long grey cloak overtop. In their hand, they held a fake scythe (though Wednesday knew they were skilled with a real one, so the impression wasn’t lost). Their makeup was dark around their eyes to create a gaunter expression. (Y/N) was definitely a grim reaper.

“You actually attempted to look scary,” said Wednesday. “Good.” Too many of the costumes here were cute. Wednesday thought perhaps she should dress up as a killer and then scare them.

(Y/N) smiled, knowing that was a compliment from Wednesday. “You should see me during Dia de los Muertos. I look amazing.”

Wednesday was silent for a moment before speaking. “You always fit with death.”

(Y/N) faltered, surprised at getting two Wednesday-like compliments back-to-back, before laughing nervously and turning a little pink. “Thanks, Wednesday.” They glanced at her. “But seriously, you should come celebrate with me. I wouldn’t make you wear color, and it could be really fun.”

“I don’t really do ‘fun,’ ” said Wednesday.

“Not even fun that involves graveyards, death, and ghosts returning to visit us?” said (Y/N), knowing what Wednesday liked.

Wednesday considered. “I suppose that is my family’s typical Halloween.”

“Then you’ll like my family’s Dia de los Muertos.” (Y/N) grinned. “Sometimes my dad likes to show up, too.”

Now, Wednesday was against parties, but with (Y/N) and the god of death present? She could put up with irritating people. “I suppose I could come.”

(Y/N) brightened, and Wednesday pretended she didn’t like how happy they looked. “Awesome! I’m glad you said yes.”

Wednesday didn’t respond, but she silently knew that she was more willing to do what (Y/N) asked of her than anyone else.

Taglist:

@strawberriesareprettycool

@im-making-an-effort

@champagnewitnocham

@simpcreator

@ksunoosworld

@dot-and-co

@genderfluid-anime-goth

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@daza1s-w1fe

@tired-writing-reader

@mary-jinx

@ognenniyvolk

@under-kitty

@colezb

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@left-and-right-up-and-down

@star583

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@nemtodd-barnes1923

@likefirenrain

@ziro-the-null-god

@youralphawolf72

@mjoiner1136

@alexkolax

#wednesday netflix #netflix wednesday #wednesday series #wednesday x reader #wednesday addams x reader #halloween special #halloween #x reader #gn reader #x gn reader #x nb reader #nb reader #a good day for death

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lauralot89 · 12 days ago

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I read "The Roumanians: Deaths and Burials - Vampires and Were-Wolves." This one is unique in my list of vampire fiction, as it is not fiction. It is a singular chapter from the nonfiction book The Land Beyond the Forest by Emily Gerard. This particular chapter is at least in part an expansion of her earlier essay "Transylvanian Superstitions," which includes some of the same passages about vampires and werewolves.

Emily Gerard was a Scottish writer who moved to Transylvania in 1880. According to Dacre Stoker, his great-uncle Bram Stoker had stated in an interview that Gerard's work had been an inspiration for Dracula.

The chapter is divided up into two halves: the first regards mourning and burial customs in Romania, as well as omens of death and superstitions as to how death can be avoided. The second section discusses strigoi, vampires, and werewolves, as well as the actual regular wolves of Transylvania. All of it is fascinating and the whole book is on Project Gutenberg if you want to check it out. So is the superstitions essay.

Some quotes:

More decidedly evil is the nosferatu, or vampire, in which every Roumanian peasant believes as firmly as he does in heaven or hell. There are two sorts of vampires, living and dead. The living vampire is generally the illegitimate offspring of two illegitimate persons; but even a flawless pedigree will not insure any one against the intrusion of a vampire into their family vault, since every person killed by a nosferatu becomes likewise a vampire after death, and will continue to suck the blood of other innocent persons till the spirit has been exorcised by opening the grave of the suspected person, and either driving a stake through the corpse, or else firing a pistol-shot into the coffin.

rest in vindication, Quincey Morris

The means by which she endeavors to counteract any vampire-like instincts which may be lurking are various. Sometimes she drives a nail through the forehead of the deceased, or else rubs the body with the fat of a pig which has been killed on the Feast of St. Ignatius, five days before Christmas. It is also very usual to lay the thorny branch of a wild-rose bush across the body to prevent it leaving the coffin.

If only Jonathan had put down of some of the wild rose the passengers gave him on that first night when Dracula was lying on the couch. So much trauma averted.

First-cousin to the vampire, the long-exploded were-wolf of the Germans, is here to be found lingering under the name of prikolitsch.

First time I've heard werewolves and vampires called cousins. Dracula must be thrilled.

In one village a story is still told—and believed—of such a man, who, driving home one Sunday with his wife, suddenly felt that the time for his transformation had come. He therefore gave over the reins to her and stepped aside into the bushes, where, murmuring the mystic formula, he turned three somersaults over a ditch.

Someone make a movie of this

This superstition once proved nearly fatal to a harmless botanist, who, while collecting plants on a hill-side many years ago, was observed by some peasants, and, in consequence of his crouching attitude, mistaken for a wolf. Before they had time to reach him, however, he had risen to his feet and disclosed himself in the form of a man; but this in the minds of the Roumanians, who now regarded him as an aggravated case of wolf, was but additional motive for attacking him.

a) "aggravated case of wolf"

b) And that botanist was Mark Watney's great grandfather

Thinking that the relict [surviving family member] of a were-wolf was the next best thing to the were-wolf himself, I determined on paying my respects to the interesting widow; but on reaching her house the door was closed, and I had the cruel disappointment of learning that Madame Prikolitsch was not at home.

Alas.

#Laura reads The Roumanians: Death and Burials - Vampires and Were-Wolves #Dracula spoilers #werewolves #vampires

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tumbleweed-writes · 11 months ago

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Death and the Lady: Chibs Telford X Reader: Chapter Three

Chapter Two found HERE

Chapter Three: Roses

She was almost amazed she’d managed to keep her cool after the horrible deed she’d just completed for SAMCRO. Y/N was astonished she’d been so calm and cool throughout both the task and the aftermath.

She’d been able to maintain the appearance of a competent, professional, and caring funeral director as she’d worked helping show possible options for caskets, discussed burial plots, cost of embalming, an obituary, flower arrangements, and viewings.

One of Charming California’s most prominent restaurateurs, Jonathan Meyer, had not noticed anything amiss as he’d spoken with Y/N about funeral arrangements for his late grandmother.

No one would be none the wiser about the fact that three members of SAMCRO had just recently been in her place of business and retrieved a corpse from Y/N. She cringed knowing that there would be a buried empty casket by this time next week and the dead man’s family would never know. No one would ever know aside from SAMCRO and her. The secret would be literally six feet under in Charming’s local cemetery.

The thought sent a chill down her spine but based on her outside appearance and behavior no one would ever guess.

Y/N had always been gifted at compartmentalizing her emotions and thoughts. It was a necessary skill set in her line of work. One couldn’t allow negative emotions of grief or any other feelings to cloud the ability to get the job done when it came both to embalming the deceased and conducting a successful funeral service.

She was worryingly a professional when it came to being able to shove the horrid mixture of guilt, shame, and fear back into some little drawer in her brain and keep the appearance of a professional whose only care in the world was serving the bereaved.

Now that she was truly all alone in her office downstairs, Y/N found her brain taunting her with possibilities of just why SAMCRO even wanted two corpses from her to begin with. It was a disturbing request and one that she’d honored.

To be honest she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know just what the MC wanted with the dead bodies she’d provided. She had a feeling knowing just what they’d wanted with them would only trouble her further.

It was getting late and so far she’d not heard a word from SAMCRO. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or troubled by the silence.

Though she knew that she should go upstairs and try to wind down from the day, she found herself parked at her desk trapped in a pit of selfpity and anguish.

Her brain taunted her with the distinct possibility of SAMCRO being caught doing whatever the hell it was they were doing, and this all leading right back to her doorstep. She knew if any of this led back to her then the fallout would be ruinous.

It was more than just the fear of a fine or fear of possibly being arrested. It was the fear of everything she’d lose if the discovery of this horrible deed led back to her front steps.

She knew if any of this led back to her then she’d lose literally everything she held dear and had fought to achieve. She would not only lose the respect of the community, her entire livelihood, and possibly even the home and business she’d wanted so badly to preserve.

The years of schooling, a hard earned apprenticeship, time spent studying and testing for licensure both in New York and California would be meaningless.

She’d lose her license and this would mean losing the family legacy she’d tried so hard to upkeep.

It wasn’t just the guilt of what she’d done and the fear of being caught that troubled her. It was the realization that Jackson freaking Teller had somehow wormed his way back into her life bringing SAMCRO right along with him.

She cringed, hating the sense that she felt as though was right back where she’d started almost a decade before. She was back to once again being entangled in SAMCRO’s world. It was a world she’d thought she’d moved on from.

She had foolishly thought the MC was a thing of her past. She wasn’t partying alongside them anymore, but she was working with them. She wasn’t sure which scenario felt worse.

She glared up at an old black and white photograph hanging on the wall in her office, the photo featuring some great grandfather of hers way back when standing by an ancient looking hearse. She felt the words slide from her lips, filled with bitterness. “I bet you never had to deal with this kind of crap when this place and gig was yours.”

She slumped back in her desk chair, her stomach and heart twisting when she spotted a small photo she kept framed on her desk. The photo of her father and she sat almost taunting her. It had been taken soon after she’d graduated from mortuary school. Her father had been so proud of her; proud she’d taken up the family legacy on her own terms and so proud she’d outgrown her wild streak running around with Jax Teller and SAMCRO.

She felt her eyes water she quick to reach up and wipe any tears that threatened to spill. A sense of shame washed over her as her mind taunted her wondering what her father would think of her now.

Her father and she may have butted heads when she’d been a rebellious teen, but she’d loved him dearly.

She missed him dearly. It had only been four months since he’d passed and to be honest she’d thrown herself into taking up the family business. Throwing herself into the family business and all the debt and dealing with her brother was far easier than facing her feelings of loss and pain.

She’d always admired her father. It wasn’t just his dedication to the profession that she’d loved. It was everything about her dad.

Her father had been a handsome man, though a bear of a man if there ever was one. He was tall and broad shouldered. He was strong, incredibly so not just physically but mentally.

She knew she’d gotten her smaller build from her late mother.

Her father and her brother though both were practical lumberjacks.

Seeing younger photos of her father made her easily understand just why her mother must have fallen for him.

Her father was handsome, strong, dependable, loyal, and proud of a profession that he viewed as being more of a service and duty to his community.

She’d always found it a little funny. Her father, as huge and intimidating as he appeared, was so mild-mannered and calm.

He’d been a gentle parent even when she’d been going through her rebellious phase and probably needed a bit of a tougher hand. Her father had been so patient of her even offering her an escape when it had all become too much.

Her father had taught her everything he knew about the family business. He’d started her young, being frank with her about just what the family business consisted of.

She’d still been a kid when he’d brought her downstairs and showed her the tools of the trade.

It wasn’t until she was an adult that she’d realized that this seemingly charming, at least to her, childhood memory horrified people when she recalled it.

She guessed she got the reaction. People assumed her father had been some kind of sadist trying to torment a child far too young by exposing her both to death and the funeral business.

She knew though that it had been more of her father’s attempt to bond with her. It was the only way he knew how to bond with his children after his wife’s death.

Most kids' dads taught them to play baseball and change oil in a car. Her dad taught her about embalming and how to change the oil in a hearse.

She knew most people would never understand the comfort she’d found surrounded by death. It was all she’d ever known after all.

Her core memories consisted of mourners trailing in and out of the home, the fact that caskets were displayed on the first floor of her home, corpses could be found in the basement, and the realization that everyone died.

Her father had always taught her not to fear death. The biggest lesson she’d learned was that though everyone died; dying was nothing to dread. Death was inevitable and no one could say for sure what laid beyond death. One should never spend their lives fearing the end though. If anything one should be amazed that death gave the opportunity to appreciate how beautiful life truly was. Her father had taught her that although she would die one day that she should be in awe of the fact that anyone even had the opportunity to live at all to begin with.

During the past few years of his life her father and she had begun to have longer conversations at least once a week. They’d had much needed heart to hearts admitting mistakes they’d both made and regrets they both had.

She’d been able to hear that her father was proud of her. He was proud of the young woman she’d become.

She had been so proud of the woman she had become up until now.

She’d been so proud that she’d turned over a new leaf and grown into a better person. This entire deal she’d made with the MC proved that she was not at all the better person she proclaimed to be.

She sighed, reaching up to toy with the small golden cross pendant hanging around her neck.

Although she had been snarky with Jax, she could admit she was no woman scorned.

She knew way back when she was hanging around SAMCRO neither she nor Jax had any preconceived notions about just what she and he were doing.

She had been looking for a place to rebel and an environment to escape how angry and miserable she felt and he’d been behaving just as the Prince of SAMCRO should.

She wasn’t bitter or angry about their history no matter how brief and messy it had been.

She just hated the person she’d been back then. The girl she’d been almost ten years ago had hated everything and everyone. Most of all though, she’d hated herself.

She had looked in the mirror and had seen nothing but sadness in her features back then.

Y/N hated who she was before.

She feared becoming that girl again, hating herself and seeing nothing but sorrow staring back at her in the mirror.

She felt her stomach twist all the further the words sliding from her lips as she tore her eyes from the photo of her father and she, the words soft . “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

She was pulled from her pity party as her cell phone chimed an unfamiliar number flashing across the screen.

She answered the call trying to keep her voice level and peaceful as though she hadn’t been trapped in a cycle of dread. “Y/N speaking.”

“Y/N, jus the lass I was tryin to reach. Jackie Boy asked me to call ya up.” The voice on the other end of the call sounded out, it taking her brain a moment to both work through the thick Scottish accent and to realize just who was on the other end of the call.

She felt a nervous flutter in her stomach as it hit her just who she was speaking to. She could still remember the previous reaction her body had to the Scottish Son. It was something that both troubled her and excited her and she was trying to convince herself she hated it.

She furrowed her brow, it hitting her that she didn’t even know the man’s name. No formal introductions had actually been made during the few interactions she’d had with SAMCRO lately.

She widened her eyes as the voice sounded out again. “Y/N, lass? Are ya there?”

“I am…what can I do for you?” She remarked, snapping out of it almost dreading what response would be.

She cringed remembering Jax’s comment about possibly needing to borrow her access to the crematorium later on. This was most likely what this call concerned.

She continued to toy with the cross pendant around her neck as the voice spoke up again. “Clay, I’m assumin ya know him…wants ta know if ya can give us access to the crematorium tomorrow nigh?”

She sighed hating that she was right on the money concerning just what this was about. “What time?”

“Late.” Was the only reply she earned.

She scoffed gazing down at the rich mahogany desktop in front of her. “How late?”

“After midnight, prolly close to bout one a.m. Keepin discreet is important.” The voice finally replied.

She glanced down at the time on her laptop, her stomach turning as she realized that it was getting late. She had a long night and a long day tomorrow that would apparently end with another long night. “Okay…I will need to be there to run the machinery…I’m not about to try to pull an innocent explanation out my ass if the damn thing got busted because I let one of you run it. I’m not coming up with a reasonable lie because some idiot screwed up an expensive piece of machinery. That thing costs a fortune and I’m not the only funeral home in the area that uses it. It’s owned by the city, local government owns the cemetery. Most of us don’t own an on site cremator so we all pay to use the thing.”

She was certain she almost heard a chuckle on the other end of the line. “Aye fair nough.”

She took a deep breath working up the nerve to say it. “I’ll expect payment of course, for my time and effort.”

The amusement still seemed to be clear in her conversation partner’s voice as he replied. “Aye o’course. Clay said yer gonna be paid well fer the favor an he appreciates yer willingness to help with future…needs.”

She felt her stomach turn it hitting her that she’d definitely set herself up for this. She had opened the door for future favors, so she shouldn’t be shocked. She needed the money badly enough to keep the door open for future favors.

She cleared her throat trying to sound calmer than she felt. “Perfect…I’ll see you around one then.”

She paused, unable to stop herself from asking the curiosity too strong to ignore. “Uh…”

She frowned realizing she still didn’t know the Scot’s name. She wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to ask now…it just felt too awkward given the conversation.

He thankfully heard the small sound she’d made. “Aye?”

She spoke knowing it was now or never. “Everything turned out okay…with you know? Uh…the cups of sugar. Nothing went wrong?”

Chibs snickered as it hit him exactly what she was hinting at, recalling her words to Jax as he’d first requested the bodies from her: you aren’t asking me to let you borrow a freaking cup of sugar here.

“Nah, no issues on our end love.” He remarked, deciding to leave out some of the more exciting details about just all that had happened today. What she didn’t know didn’t hurt her.

She felt her heart race at the word love. She pushed back the reaction it gave her. She ignored the slight flush to her cheeks and the voice in the back of her head that claimed she could get accustomed to being called love as she spoke. “Oh, uh…good to hear…I think.”

She frowned, hating how awkward she felt. She hated feeling as though the man on the other end of the call and the men he associated with had the upper hand here.

“Aye, told ya it’d turn out. I don’t make a habit of lyin to pretty lasses.” Chibs was quick to reply the comment making her cheeks flush all the darker.

She spoke a small huff leaving her not missing the attempt to flirt. “I highly doubt that. I’ll see you gentlemen later, tomorrow night at the agreed time. Don’t be late…again.”

And with that she hung up ignoring the strange cocktail of fear, anxiety, shame, and desire for her caller that washed over her.

She groaned, dropping her cell on her desk. She took a deep breath trying to calm her racing heart and the strange sense of lust perking up in her. This was so not what she needed. She refused to go down that path. She was not the girl who got all hot and bothered just because the intimidating biker was flirting…even if that intimidating biker did have a lovely accent and equally lovely eyes and dimples.

She stared back up that same photo of her great grandfather that she’d gazed at earlier, a bitter sigh escaping her lips. “You so didn’t have to put up with this bullshit when the gig was yours.”

==================================================

Chibs smirked as he hung up his cell having to feel pleased as can be with himself even as she’d abruptly ended the call and hadn’t exactly responded to his attempts to flirt as eagerly as he’d hoped.

He had the distinct feeling Y/N was going to prove to be a challenge. It was a refreshing realization. The croweaters around the club were not a challenge. They required no effort at all.

He had to like the concept that Y/N was the kind of girl who required an effort. Although he could admit he found it intimidating.

It had been a long time since he had to put in effort when it came to a woman.

He could admit he found himself at a loss as to why he was so eager to put in the effort.

The easiest answer he could pull together was that he found her fascinating and he was curious.

He knew of course that curiosity killed the cat, but he’d never been one to shy away from the threat of being killed.

He was unable to resist saving the number to his contacts before he dropped the cell on the bar in front of him.

He nodded to the croweater behind the bar as she eagerly poured him a glass of Jameson.

Just a week ago he would have probably been tempted to drag the croweater away for a little bedroom entertainment, but he found himself disinterested in the concept.

He was surprised to find that there was only one woman he wouldn’t mind having some bedroom time with.

He easily found his brain remembering those curves and those legs of hers and how it was a damn shame those legs had been hidden under tights today. He wouldn’t mind having those legs wrapped around him. He also was quite able to vividly recall the incredible cleavage he’d spotted that first meeting in the crematorium. He would be quite happy to bury his face against that cleavage. He was certain he could die happy with his face buried there and the lower part of his anatomy buried in what lay between those glorious legs of hers.

He shifted in his seat, the thought exciting him. He took a slow sip from his drink doing all he could to not allow his brain to slide down the rabbit hole of lust.

He could remember Juice’s comment that Y/N was spooky but hot.

Chibs had to admit he found her to be less spooky though she did frighten him a little…or at least the thoughts he had about her frightened him.

Her job was intense to say the least, but Chibs had never been one to shy away from the intense. The morbid nature of her job didn’t trouble him as much as it probably should.

He was too entranced by her to pay too much thought to the fact that she embalmed and buried the dead for a living.

She was morbid but somehow tantalizing. She seemed elegant, confident, and intelligent. Those weren’t qualities he’d found with a woman he’d pursued since Fiona.

The thought was terrifying.

He cringed at the thought of his estranged wife and the history related to her and he. There was a lot of pain there. It wasn’t a trip down memory lane he wanted to go down, not when he was currently infatuated with an entirely different woman.

He glanced up from his drink as Bobby dropped down beside him giving him a nod. “You get everything settled with her?”

“Aye, she’ll meet us tomorrow. She’ll run tha machinery at her insistence. We jus gotta bring the payment.” Chibs replied a small smirk crossing his features as he remembered her comment about just why she had to run the crematorium.

He was once again amused that she was ballsy enough to be just a little insulting by essentially implying they were idiots who would break the cremator if she didn’t run it herself. He had a feeling he’d not exactly tolerate the disrespect from a woman who he didn’t fancy.

Bobby raised an eyebrow spotting the hint of a look he’d never seen on Chibs’ face before. He quickly connected the dots that the somewhat lovesick smirk on Chibs’ lips and the SONS new associate at the funeral home were connected.

He spoke, deciding to keep the comment casual. “Interesting having her back in town…Y/N. Thought she’d never show up again after she left.”

“Aye? How’d she leave?” Chibs replied, that spark of curiosity bubbling up in him again.

Bobby shrugged accepting his own drink from the croweater behind the bar. “Nothing too dramatic, not really my place to say. It seemed like she just stopped coming around one day, next thing anyone knows her dad shipped her out east. She was pretty young though. Shit just probably got to be too intense for her.”

Chibs dared to ask though he’d already asked Jax a similar question. He wasn’t entirely satisfied with the reply he’d gotten from Jax. “Aye, she mentioned bein a club hanground.”

He paused, gazing at the croweater uncertain of how to broach the subject. He spoke again, deciding to be a little more tactful even though he didn’t particularly care what the croweater thought about how the Sons viewed her. “Was she one of our Friday nigh lasses?”

Bobby shook his head, a small smirk crossing his lips. “Not exactly. To be honest I think most of the guys around here were intimidated by the fact that her daddy could bury us alive literally…a few nomads weren’t so wise but…like I said she wasn’t what you’re thinking. Shit was complicated.”

He paused the next statement only making Chibs feel more frustrated. “Not my story to tell though. It’s been almost a decade, pretty sure most of us who were around back then have killed a few brain cells since then to fully recall every last detail.”

Chibs resisted the urge to remark that he was sick of hearing that line: It’s not my story to tell.

Chibs shifted in his seat the conversation doing little to sate his curiosity. It only left him feeling more intrigued. He wanted to know just what was so complicated.

Y/N was definitely a puzzle he wanted to solve. He was determined to solve it.

—----------------------------------------------

Y/N was relieved to pull up to the crematorium late the next night to see that the SONS were actually on time.

It seemed that lateness was only a trait Jax Teller held.

She tried to keep her cool as she shut off her engine of her little black 2003 Acura and exited the car her purse held tight in her grasp.

She busied herself digging through the purse for the keys to access the crematorium as she approached the line of motorcycles and one unremarkable looking white van. She easily realized that a boring white van might be favorable for a more discreet task. After all, a van attracted far less attention than Harleys.

She cringed as another familiar Son approached her; she just as displeased to see him as she’d been to see Jax Teller. “Doll, can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

She gave Tig Trager one small glance before focusing back on the contents of her purse. “Don’t thank me.”

He held his hands up in mock defeat he fast to reply. “Still charming as always.”

“Same could be said for you.” She remarked fast to reply to the observation.

If her mood wasn’t sour enough another person she wasn’t entirely pleased with approached her. Jax speaking. “Thanks for the favor darlin”

“Don’t thank her.” Tig was fast to remark, parroting the words she’d said earlier.

She rolled her eyes not wanting to engage with either man. Though Tig and she didn’t exactly share the same history Jax and she shared, she was still not looking to chat like old times with the Son.

Chatting like old buddies with either man made her feel too much like the angry young woman she’d once been, the one who hated herself and didn’t care what happened to her.

Chibs stood aside with Juice and Half Sack observing the exchange. He raised an eyebrow sensing Y/N’s sour mood.

He had a feeling it was about to get more bitter once she saw just why they needed access to the crematorium.

He approached Juice and Half Sack following along beside him. The prospect spoke nodding to her car. “You drive an Acura?”

She rolled her eyes as she finally located the necessary keys. “The hearse attracts too much attention…besides the casket I have in the back rattles around the backend when I drive. It’s kind of distracting.”

She felt a small sense of satisfaction when she noticed the young man’s face pale at the latter part of her statement. She’d found, as cruel as it was, that it was far too easy to screw around with people when they asked her stupid questions.

It wasn’t exactly something she made a habit of. She usually prided herself in being able to make death and the funeral business less terrifying and intimidating to the average public.

She had to enjoy making the members of SAMCRO feel uneasy though. It was kind of an ego trip seeing the definition of danger get nervous over some bullshit she told them about her job.

Chibs smirked, only allowing Half Sack to fret for a brief moment before he gave him a smack on the back of the head. “She’s fuckin with ya, ya half nutted muppet.”

She furrowed her brow not missing the half nutted comment. She shoved the question dancing around on the end of her tongue about this statement back telling herself she didn’t want to know.

She ignored the little playful smile Chibs tossed her way. She did her best to pretend she wasn’t reminded of the feelings that had washed over her during the phone call they’d shared the day before.

The Scottish Son was an interesting one. She was finding it hard not to admit this to herself.

She spoke holding the keys up. “I’ll unlock the doors.”

She cringed her stomach dropping as Tig spoke nodding to both Half Sack and Juice. “Get the bodies.”

She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. Of course there were bodies. She wasn’t naive enough to think they needed to borrow her access to the cremator without there being bodies to cremate.

She felt bile rise in her throat refusing to question if she was considered some kind of accessory after the fact related to what she was about to help burn.

Wasn’t this considered destroying evidence?

Chibs entered the crematorium eyeing Y/N as she dropped her purse on the cabinet in the corner of the room she busying herself finding those thick black gloves he’d spotted on her hands that first day.

He watched her having to admit that he noticed the curve of her backside in the jeans she wore. He was pleased to see she wore another tight fitting pair of jeans. The black denim hugged her bottom and hips in a way that left Chibs feeling envious of the fabric.

He watched her shrug her soft looking plum hooded jacket off placing it over her purse. He admired the way the black top she wore gave him another view of clevage. He was also amused to spot those pink converse on her feet again.

He watched as she pulled a hair tie off from around her wrist pulling her hair up into a messy looking top knot.

He spoke unable to stop himself, wanting to soothe any anxiety she might have about the circumstances behind the bodies she was about to help cremate. He couldn’t help but to hate the thought of her thinking she was some kind of accessory to murder. “It was an accident…found em in…a property of ours that caught fire.”

She furrowed her brow wanting to ask if it was just an accident then why was it so important to get rid of these bodies?

She told herself it was probably not a great idea to ask too many questions. She had a feeling the Scotsman wouldn’t tell her the entire truth anyhow.

She cringed not having time to focus on the thought as Half Sack and Juice entered the room carrying two bodies wrapped in old looking blankets.

She took a deep breath as she moved towards the cremator opening and pulling out the drawer nodding down to it. “Put them down here. We should be able to cremate both together…it might take longer but it’s doable.”

The men deposited the bodies stepping back Y/N left to glance down at them. She grimaced at the sight of the two bodies. They were young women from what she could see. They’d been dead for a few days she guessed by the level of decay.

It wasn’t the worst deceased body she’d seen, but the realization that she was about to cremate these two nameless women did send a chill through her.

She yanked her glance from them as Jax stepped forward distracting her. “We have your payment.”

She took the envelope not missing the heft of it. She resisted the urge to open it and count it the thought seeming cruel given what she was doing.

She placed the envelope within her purse unaware that Chibs was studying her he taking notice of the way she’d gazed down at the corpses and the hint of sympathy in her eyes.

He couldn’t help but to be troubled by it. It was a surprising realization; that it bothered him that she was upset doing something that would get the club out of a huge pile of shit.

He pushed the thought from his mind as he watched her work getting everything together.

She moved quickly just wanting to get this over with. The sooner this ended the sooner she could go home and probably have a sleepless night. She had a feeling she’d need a good shower and maybe a drink when she got home.

She pushed in the drawer mentally apologizing to the bodies she was about to cremate. She was certain this wasn’t their end of life plans. She was sure they were far too young to consider such plans.

She ignored thoughts of any family they might have left behind or any dreams they might never achieve.

She knew she had to compartmentalize those feelings and focus on the task at hand.

The machine was started up Y/N speaking as she worked finding it easy to talk about what she was doing in a technical sense than to actually acknowledge how screwed up this all was. “It will take a moment to get to the right temp. It needs to reach up to at least 1,400 degrees fahrenheit to burn. We’ll probably want to go a little higher given that we’re…burning more. It might take up to three hours…that’s for one body though. I don’t know about more than that…It’s not legal to burn more than one at once honestly.”

She cleared her throat as she spoke again. “I’m going to have to just assume we’re going to be pushing the three hour mark considering that is usually the time it takes to cremate a heavier body.”

She stepped aside surprised that the Sons moved forward lining up in front of the machine. She was uncertain if they just wanted to be sure the job was being done or if they were actually paying their respects in some weird messed up way.

She stood to the side not certain of what else she should do.

They stood in silence for a long while the entire situation feeling both surreal and daunting.

Half Sack spoke as they gazed at the bodies within the crematorium. “Should we say a prayer or something?”

Juice snickered his comment earning a grimace from Y/N. “You know any bible passages about lost semen.”

Chibs took notice of the look of disapproval on Y/N’s features. He couldn’t help but to cringe himself it seemed his young brother wasn’t exactly making the best impression. He reached out smacking Juice’s shoulder harshly, the action wiping the smirk from the man’s lips.

Chibs resisted the urge to glance over at Y/N and check and see if she’d noticed his disapproval and was aware he wasn’t being as crude and disrespectful as his young associate.

He was a bit surprised he cared so much what she thought of him especially in a situation like this. She probably already disapproved of them all.

He couldn’t help but to hate the thought that she might think he was disrespectful enough to not at least understand the gravity of what they were doing. This essentially was the only funeral these women would get.

Tig spoke thankfully finding something to say that was a bit more respectful, a prayer leaving his lips. “May a ray of sunshine warm your souls amen.”

With that they stepped back enough to allow Y/N to move forward, shutting the door and turning up the heat, she doing her best to turn her mind off and not focus on how awful this all felt.

Time seemed to move far too slowly and no one seemed that concerned that they were clearly going to stand here the entire time it took to completely cremate the remains.

Everyone seemed to have the sense to not speak even Juice and Half Sack.

When it was clear that the bodies were getting closer and closer to being ashes Tig spoke. “We should go.”

Jax nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah.”

He turned to face Y/N fast to speak again. “Thanks for helping us. I know this wasn’t ideal.”

She shook her head a small bitter laugh leaving her not sounding humored at all. “Nope, not ideal.”

Jax spoke, giving her arm a gentle squeeze. “I can’t promise the next favor won’t be less shitty.”

She moved from his grasp crossing her arms over her chest, the act almost seeming as though she was trying to protect herself. Chibs took notice of it, surprised that he wanted to reach out and provide some reassurance.

She moved towards the cabinet she speaking over her shoulder. “I’ve got it from here boys.”

Everyone but Chibs seemed to take the hint, happy to be out of the crematorium and escape this entire situation.

Jax spoke over his shoulder as he moved to leave. “We really are grateful for the help, Y/N. You’re keeping us out of some deep shit.”

She sighed, shaking her head, her voice monotone, not seeming comforted by the thought that she was helping them escape what was most likely the consequences of their own actions. “Yeah, sure.”

She pushed back the judgment knowing deep down she wasn’t much better. She was accepting money for this. She wasn’t an angel.

Chibs didn’t speak until only they remained in the room. He cleared his throat nodding over to the cremator. “What are ya goin to do with tha ashes?”

She raised an eyebrow almost fearing he was testing her to see if she was going to run to the cops. She was tempted to point out the primary chemical elements that were in cremains were just calcium phosphate and sodium. No forensics team could pull any evidence from cremains.

She didn’t have a chance to dwell on fears that he was testing if she was likely to snitch as he spoke again. “I mean…we don’ know wha they woulda wanted. I imagine they were young nough not to think bout it.”

She shrugged her shoulders a bit surprised that he seemed to genuinely care. She’d almost expected him to disappear off into the night like his brothers and leave her to clean up what remained.

She spoke nodding her head towards the entrance of the crematorium. “There’s some old mausoleums out near one of the back corners of the property. They’re old as hell…the city uh they are responsible for maintaining the landscaping…so there’s rose bushes near them. It might be nice to bury the ashes under the roses. It’s at least some final resting place.”

Chibs nodded his head, a small half smile crossing his features, having to find it kind of endearing that she’d put this much thought into it. She really did have a passion for her job. “Aye, tha’ sounds nice…are ya doin it tonigh?”

“Yeah, probably shouldn’t do it during daylight. I think I can manage it tonight. I can figure out how to dig a hole.” She remarked not wanting to admit she wouldn’t be able to rest tonight until she’d done this.

A small part of her almost had to hope that providing a final resting place for the remains would at least make up for some of the horrible things she’d done over the past two days.

Chibs took her by shock he speaking. “I’ll go with ya.”

She furrowed her brow a tiny paranoid part of her almost fearing that he’d off her once he’d gotten her alone. Maybe she’d been too pushy with the MC asking for payment. Maybe they were just going to get rid of her.

She shook the thought from her mind, reminding herself that she was still useful to SAMCRO. She was right, she was more reliable than Skeeter any day of the week.

Chibs spoke again, spotting the tiny hint of fear in her eyes, hating that she might fear him and believe he might intend to harm her. “Lotta homeless probably hang round this place at nigh. Can’t trust that someone with less morals won’t see ya and ya know.”

She cringed quickly coming up with a few scenarios that the you know seemed to imply.

“Okay, sounds good.” She remarked, turning her attention back to her work.

—----------

The two didn’t speak again until they reached the mausoleums Y/N had described. Chibs gazed up at them there was something eerie about them in the dark. He was relieved Y/N seemed to be smart enough to carry a little flashlight in her purse.

She handed the flashlight to him a small sigh leaving her lips. “Hold this while I dig.”

He was tempted to insist that he could be the one to dig the hole. It seemed to be the gentlemanly thing to do after all. He bit his tongue though having a feeling she wouldn’t allow him to do this.

This seemed a bit more personal to her judging by the look of sympathy he’d spotted in her eyes earlier.

He stared up at the night sky being sure to keep the flashlight on her task. He spoke searching for anything to talk about. “Stars are at least nice out ere. Not nough street lights to fuck it up.”

She cleared her throat a little surprised by the choice in conversation. It seemed so casual after what had happened just a few hours ago. “Yeah, it’s nice.”

He spoke again searching for more to say. “Don’ have em like this back home.”

“Home?” She asked her curiosity peaking despite the voice that screeched at her not to get involved.

“Aye, in Glasgow…Belfast too…too many fuckin people in the city at least…too many lights. Out in the countryside though, that was some real stars, put these to shame.” He replied a small dreamy tone crossing his voice as he recalled the countryside.

“You’ve lived in both Scotland and Ireland?” She questioned. She was relieved that the conversation provided some distraction from her dread filled brain. She had to admit she was curious about how the Scotsman came to reside here of all places even if it was just related to his involvement with the Sons.

She was comforted to have something else to focus on other than the fact that the new leaf she’d turned seemed to be dead.

He spoke nodding his head. “Aye, born and raised in Glasgow, moved to Belfast when I was sixteen.”

“You’re a long way from there.” She remarked, cringing at the comment knowing the move most likely had something to do with the criminal element surrounding the man she was speaking with. It probably wasn’t wise to bring it up.

Chibs felt his heart twist the same way it often then when he was reminded of what had forced him from Belfast in the end. “Aye…it was an adjustment…The states aint all that bad…even became a citizen a few years back…figured it was easier than maintainin’ a work visa.”

She nodded her head not entirely familiar with immigration laws or how citizenship worked. It wasn’t something she’d really experienced.

She spoke as he continued to dig. “The furthest I’ve been is New York. I moved there for mortuary school…lived there for a while. Never left the United States though. I have always wanted to, but dead people don’t tend to care about vacation plans and travels not in my budget most of the time.”

She felt her stomach turn at the mention of her budget considering she’d just been paid twice to do some questionable things by the associates of the man she was speaking with so casually.

She spoke again, shrugging her shoulders. “Maybe someday. I wouldn’t mind seeing the stars you’re praising.”

“Aye, ya won’t regret it.” Chibs was fast to reply, a small smile crossing his features relieved the conversation seemed to be flowing so easily.

For someone who had given SAMCRO nothing but sass, there seemed to be something kind of sweet and lovely about this conversation they were having one on one. He wouldn’t mind experiencing more of it.

She spoke again, satisfied with the depth of the hole she’d dug. “This should work. I think I got it wide and deep enough.”

Chibs felt a small sense of disappointment wash over him at the realization that he was about to no longer have an excuse to be near her.

He hid his disappointment as she placed the plastic baggie containing the cremains down in the hole working quickly to cover it.

He parted his lips wanting to say more to her, wanting to say anything to keep her here by his side.

He felt the words die on his lips as she stood up wiping the dirt from her jeans. She spoke, taking the flashlight from him. She was thankful it was dark enough that he didn’t notice her cheeks flush as her fingers brushed against his. “Thank you for holding it.”

He took notice of the softness of her hands. He had to wonder just what other parts of her were soft. “Aye, glad ta help.”

She spoke, taking a deep breath, a bit of the weight of shame she’d felt lifting just the slightest. She knew the small act of giving the remains a final resting place wouldn’t make up for the two bodies she’d given SAMCRO, but at least she might be able to feel that she wasn’t entirely a terrible person. “Thank you for…watching over me and keeping me company.”

“Aye, anytime lass.” He replied, causing her to let out a small laugh though this one didn’t sound as humorless as the laugh she’d given Jax earlier.

“No offense, but I hope it isn’t anytime. I don’t mind talking with you, but I’d prefer the next time to not be while I’m burying remains I illegally cremated.”

He smirked both at the comment and the implication she might enjoy talking with him.

He was fast to bring it up. “Aye, so ya like talkin to me?”

She let out a huff rolling her eyes though she didn’t stop the small smile from crossing her lips her cheeks flushing darker. “Shut up.”

He smirked, satisfied that she didn’t have a more clever comeback.

She spoke again, shaking her head. “I’ll see you around…uh?”

He furrowed his brow, it hitting him; they'd never been entirely properly introduced.

He was surprised by the words that left him not choosing the club nickname he’d long gone by but his legal first name. “Filip.”

She nodded her head. “Goodnight, Filip.”

He spoke as he watched her step forward intending on parting ways. “Aye, goodnigh lass. I’ll see ya around.”

#chibs telford #chibs sons of anarchy #chibs telford fanfiction #chibs #soa #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #Chibs Telford x reader #chibs telfordxreader

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queers-gambit · 1 year ago

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FX’s The Bear masterlist

requesting rules and masterlist

requests are CLOSED where to watch: FX, Hulu, and Disney+

God's Plan

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collection masterlist: Clingy Baby

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part two: Two to Tango

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Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant

-> a highly-recommended 303-page novel by Anne Tyler

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Silence

anxiety plays tricks on your mind, making you mistake your boyfriend's stress for anger - at you.

word count: 2.5k+

🎭 little drama (mostly tension) 💔 small angst ❤️‍🩹 hurt and comfort 🧸 small fluff 💣 small relationship angst 💍 established relationship 🐝 stand-alone / oneshot 🙊 general language warning 🥂 alcohol consumption 🫠 small depiction of self-destructing / deprecating thoughts 🧠 discussion of mental health (anxiety) 2️⃣ written after season two

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The Business That Pays You

not all disabilities are visible. being accosted for something out of your control angers the watchdog - your boyfriend, Carmy. plus a protective Carmy request.

word count: 4.5k+

note this is a disabled female reader! INVISIBLE disability!

🎭 drama 💔 little angst ❤️‍🩹 hurt and comfort 💍 established relationship 🐝 stand-alone / oneshot 🙊 general language warning 🩺 depiction of medical phenomenon / disability ✝️ Lord's name in vain 2️⃣ written after season two

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requesting rules and masterlist

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy the bear #carmy #carmy berzatto #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fic #the bear masterlist #carmy berzatto angst #carmy berzatto masterlist #queers gambit #queers gambit masterlist

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the-forbidden-pookie · 1 year ago

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Of Reality and Dreams

Tw: SFW, written with a fem reader in mind, some angst followed by fluff, manga spoilers but no more than what's already floating all over the internet, slight use of profanity.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x reader

#FreePalestine 🇵🇸

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You sit in front of your computer monitor with misty eyes in utterly shocked silence. The only thing going through your head is a perpetual chorus of "What the actual fuck?!" And "That can't be right??"

After finishing the intense second season of the hit anime Jujutsu Kaisen, you got curious about the source material, and decided it wouldn't hurt to check some spoilers, just a quick peek to find out if Gojo does in fact get unsealed from the prison realm.

What you end up learning from the online discussion forums however, is far too heartbreaking to bear.

"You don't understand," says user gege_hater101 "Gege already mentioned he hates him, this was literally inevitable."

"Still..." User I_miss_her<3 had replied "to just kill off the fan favorite mentor?"

"Fr dude, even Attack on Titan didn't kill off Levi damnit." And the discussion continues.

Some haters try to claim that Gojo was an overrated character anyways but are quickly shut down by fans and simps alike, and while the solidarity warms your heart it doesn't change the fact that Gojo Satoru's Wiki status will now say "Deceased".

You turn off your monitor and lean back against your chair's backrest. You have school tomorrow, you should really go to bed now, but you can't bring yourself to do so. You can feel your sadness deepening by the second. Gojo Satoru wasn't just a fictional character, he was a powerful phenomenon both in the world of Jujutsu Kaisen and in your real world.

"Haha... Gege wrote a masterfully crafted character that balances incredible strength with emotional vulnerability... Yet somehow he hates him? Seriously what the hell..." You wipe at your eyes to no avail, you knew for a fact if a family member were to come in and ask why you were crying you wouldn't be able to answer them. There was just no way they would understand, and that felt isolating right now.

But you knew you weren't really alone in mourning him at least, people from all around the world were commemorating and mourning him too, he has touched so many people's hearts, inspired so many...

You closed your eyes to rest them for a bit. You'll go to bed once you didn't feel like crying anymore, sobbing in bed just felt too miserable right now. You couldn't stop thinking about all the horrible things that plagued Gojo Satoru's life, only for him to not even get to live to see the fruit of his labor, you drift off thinking of how unfair all of this was.

You open your eyes and find yourself in a completely normal environment. The horse headed broom riding man is flying over your neighborhood as usual.

The sky is a beautiful shade of bright brown, what a lovely cloudless summer day this is!

Speaking of summer, a light rain is rising from the ground to the sky in lovely patterns.

Ah yes, just another normal day in your neighb-

You freeze.

You feel his presence before you see him, turning around slowly, you spot the back of a tall beanpole of a man, dressed in all black with a mop of white hair on his head, seemingly busying himself with eating some sort of candy or the other.

Ah, you realize with a start. This is a dream.

You've studied lucid dreaming before, for a school presentation, you did quite a lot of research to make sure you knew everything about such a relatively obscure topic, especially since you knew your teachers liked to ask many questions.

You take a look around your environment once more, but it's already shifted from what it was before. No matter, you focus and anchor the dream into some semblance of reality, and instead of another bizarre scene, you're now in an empty park, on a moonlit night.

You start walking towards the new location of who you hope is Gojo Satoru, it would be of very poor taste if it turned out your brain was playing a trick on you.

While researching lucid dreams, you noticed there were 3 main things of note, amongst all the other stuff.

1. In dreams in general, devices don't quite work how they're supposed to. Be it cars not starting or wall clocks telling the wrong time or even phones missing their buttons, technology just wouldn't cooperate much.

You pass by the swings swaying on a phantom wind, which wasn't of your doing, but you didn't have enough experience to make everything bend to your will perfectly.

2. When you try opening a book or looking at some other form of written content, they would either be blank or only have gibberish in them. What's more, if you were to look away then look back again, the contents would almost always change, if the item itself didn't change entirely.

You're close now, just a few more steps.

3. Finally, there was the matter of people. Studies have consistently shown that for whatever reason, any entity considered as a "person" in the dream, could not be controlled by the lucid dreamer whatsoever; their choices couldn't be psychically influenced or swayed, they acted as if they truly were a separate person from the dreamer. The human brain was quite mysterious and did things like that sometimes.

Finally, you're right behind him. You raise a hesitant hand and try tapping his back. Your hand thankfully doesn't end up going through his back, and instead he simply turns around, candy now gone, and to your immense relief, you are currently in the presence of Gojo Satoru. Or well- dream Gojo Satoru. Anyways.

You can't see his eyes with his signature blindfold present, but you were more preoccupied with his personality at the moment anyways. Did your brain get it right? Or was he just a hollow statue...?

"Oh, what do we have here? Trying to get an audience with the strongest, most handsome, and everyone's number one favourite teacher, Gojo Satoru!?" He asks with dramatic movements and poses, it seems you needn't have worried. "Well, make yourself interesting, then!"

You couldn't stop yourself and started bawling right then and there.

"You- you said you would win!!! You said even if Sukuna was at full power, you could beat him!!!" At first, you're giving him a couple of light shoves, but soon you're hitting him repeatedly, not strong enough to hurt (not that you could anyways, he didn't even bother to turn infinity on) just strong enough to show how upset you were. "Gojo Satoru you liar!!!" Your tears aren't stopping any time soon, but your hits stop short when Gojo grabs your wrists. You loose your steam quickly enough, and all you muster up is a quiet "Why did you die?"

Gojo blinks. "Whoa! Calm down." He lets go of one wrist in favor of patting your head. "Look at me, I am here! Alive!" He announces, pointing at himself with his other hand theatrically.

"Haaah, so you can't tell? This is just a dream, Gojo-san. Neither of us are really here." You say, motioning to the park around you both. "And you're dead, Sukuna killed you."

"Hmph. You're quite stubborn, aren't you? Fine, I'll show you that I am real! I'll remove my blindfold and show you my face! But prepare yourself, and take a good look at my eyes!"

You consider his words. Does it even matter whether or not he realizes the truth? As you said, this is a dream, it would make no difference either way once you woke up. But while you are here, what is it that you want to accomplish? What should you be doing right now, with this rare opportunity?

"Are you ready?!" He interrupts your train of thought, then proceeds to remove his black blindfold, showing off his most gorgeous bright blue eyes.

"Ahhhhhh, it's your pretty eyes!" You exclaim happily. "I swear everytime I see them I think a good chunk of the animation budget had to be spent on them alone." You say with a grin.

"Hehehe! That's right, my beautiful bewitching eyes that capture the hearts of both women and men! No one else has them! Do you understand now? I'm alive and well." With his eyes now exposed, it was easier to see his teasing for what it was: an attempt to hide his worry. To him you were a complete stranger yet he still felt the need to comfort you and he made sure to calm your distressed state. It seems that your brain didn't just recreate what you knew about Gojo Satoru, but even expanded on it.

"You're... so sweet Gojo-san, you really deserved better in life... Strongest or not you're still a human being, I truly wish fate didn't keep trampling on your existence and feelings." Loosing Riko, Suguru, Nanami and Megumi... Just what was the point of putting such a good person through so much? What was Gege trying to teach who?!

You notice Gojo has been silent for a while now and look up, only to see his carefully neutral face, but he must not be used to hiding the emotions in his eyes, because you could tell he was touched. Eventually, he relents and says in a far calmer and more serious tone: "You know... I think this makes top 3 of the nicest and most thoughtful things anyone has ever said to me."

You give him a soft yet sad smile. "Yeah I'm not surprised. You're surrounded by people who love you, but in the kind of world you live in? Everyone is bound to be very preoccupied with their own issues, not to mention they don't get the same chances to see what the audience sees when it comes to your character... Still. I assure you, millions of people love and cherish you, you're our precious Sensei after all, and you make us stand proud to be the generation influenced by your guidance!" You wait for him to say something, but he seems unable to formulate an answer. You also notice his eyes misting up.

"Gojo-san, I need you to understand that even if the person who brought you into existence hates you and wishes you were gone, that has never stoped us and I doubt it ever will. You'll always have a special place in our hearts, Gojo-sensei!"

By the end of your speech, your smile is so bright and genuine it actually hurts your cheeks a little.

One moment you're standing there, smiling at him, and the next you have a set of strong arms wrapped around your form, tight but not crushingly so.

"Thank you." You hear the words whispered, and as your arms reach up to hug him back, your eyes open, and you're no longer in a park, standing, or in the presence of Gojo Satoru.

You quickly turn your monitor back on. You have just had a moment of realization, but if you wait it could get wiped from your memory along with your dream.

On the online forum, you join the discussion.

"I thought about this whole thing for a while, and I think I came to an interesting conclusion. Gege hates Gojo Satoru, right? So much so that he'd eliminate him from his story to not have to deal with him any more. Well that's alright, it's his story after all guys, he has the right to get rid of his least favorite character and try to forget all about him. But y'all know what? Fandoms of popular media can last a long time, a decade, maybe two if we're lucky. Remember this is the internet, Gege's story is one thing, but this here is our domain, not his. So for the next decade, no two decades, let's not let him forget, the name GOJO SATORU!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y'all don't understand how much I cried writing this 😭😭😭

From the river to the sea Palestine will be free ❤️💖

#jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jujutsu gojo #jjk #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #gojo x you #fanfic #fluff #jjk x fem!reader #gojo is precious #gojo is baby #gojo is alive in our hearts

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leverage-ot3 · 1 year ago

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not going to give the blog any attention or time of day but this is your reminder that the leverage crew would never be zionists or support israel whatsoever

I wasn't going to engage with it because I value my mental health but yeah. absolutely fucking NOT

y'all really think that this group of people that actively go out of their way to go against the rich and powerful, who make it their goal to help people that are oppressed, devalued by society and taken advantage by those more powerful would at all EVER align themselves with israel? bffrrn

I'm going to go off for a few paragraphs about why this is such a horrendously ridiculous and delusional idea, but I'm not going to clog up your dash so it's going under the cut. I want to respect people who already participate in activism and need fandom space for lighter things

tw for discussion of the atrocities and war crimes happening in palestine

over 25 THOUSAND innocent people have died as a result of israeli terror the last few months alone. over 10 thousand children. entire family lines have been erased from the world forever- grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren all martyred, often together as they are sheltering from bombs and bullets until they are murdered by soldiers that laugh as they shoot and detonate bombs.

you really think that eliot 'I adopt every child I see' spencer would support a regime that let a child stay trapped in a car where her family members were martyred, not let paramedics in for days and then when they finally let the paramedics approach they kill both her AND the EMS? you think he would stand with the government that arrests children as young as 6 years old for *checks hand* being terrorists (because what fucking 6 year old is a terrorist let alone any kind of national threat. they're fucking SIX). that snipes children for throwing rocks at tanks and their apartheid walls

he and all of them would weep at the picture released the other day of the little girl handing from rubble with her legs blown off.

all of them would be horrified of the bombardment that has murdered tens of thousands of innocent civilians, women, children, men, elderly alike with no fucking care. that shoots people with their hands up waving white flags. that bulldozes graveyards and digs up bodies and probably steals organs from they dying and deceased. that bombs hospitals, governmental and archival buildings, mosques, churches, holy sites, schools and universities. whose soldiers have a trend where they go through women's underwear drawers and make lewd comments about their lingerie and how kinky they must be. who make tiktoks of them playing in decimated playgrounds and signing their children's names on bombs. who force parents to collect pieces of their children in plastic bags because they have been blown apart by relentless bombing. who shoot a grandmother holding a child's hand. who murdered a woman that dared say that she was older than the 'state' of israel.

the fact that you're posting this as israel relentlessly bombs rafa, the place they were told would be the only safe place to be, where 1.6 million people are living in tents living off animal feed because no sufficient humanitarian aid (if any) has been let through

these people that advocate for comeuppance and exposing wrongs would not support a regime that actively targets and murders journalists and their entire families.

you really think any of them would actively support a genocidal sociopathic government? fucking delusional

to a certain extent, I know that people want to keep fandom and advocacy spaces separate and I acknowledge and relate to that- when we are logged on every moment of the day we sometimes need to take breaks and engage with something else for our mental health. I need that too. and there is a very thin line when you try to apply fandom to current events because in all honesty, making headcanons about how your faves would react to X horrendous event can come off as extremely tone-deaf. I get you love your blorbos (I do too!), but actual people are suffering and it can come off as disingenuous to a lot of folks when you try to talk about your characters instead of the very real harm that is going on. HOWEVER, the other account posted in the leverage tag that the crew would be zionists and started that discourse and since it was already out there in our space I wanted to make sure that people know that this blog does not support that whatsoever.

and before this gets misconstrued: antizionism is not antisemitism. I have a lot of love for my jewish friends and followers, but saying that we can't be critical of war crimes and incessant aggression because it is a jewish state is fucking ridiculous. we should be able to hold any and all governments accountable when they do bad things (this absolutely also means I think we should hold the US accountable for enabling them and I live here. every country that is complicit needs to face consequences). saying that israel is exempt from criticism because jewish people deserve a right to a homeland isn't a great take. I completely understand fear of antisemitism and discrimination, but at some point we have to think critically and acknowledge that people are dying by the thousands and standing up for that and calling out atrocities takes precedence. jewish voices for peace has some really good content about this topic

anyways there's a random blog out there posting about how your faves are zionists splattering their rancid sponge and I want to make sure my stance on this subject is very clear: fuck israel, free palestine, and no one is free until everyone is free

#i got really fucking angry and this was kind of cathartic but honestly i'm just really fucking tired of this shit #thank u digitaldiscipline for talking me out of reblogging it with a response because that would just give the blog more undeserved attenti #free palestine #palestine #gaza #anti zionisim #fuck israel #fuck isntreal #leverage #leverage redemption #your fave is NOT a zionist #tw war crimes #also raf 'splattering their rancid sponge' is such an iconic phrase thank u for sharing that w me #I'm not going to talk about my real-life activism for privacy and security reasons but I regularly interact with people from jvp #and they are super awesome and lovely and courageous people #i really respect them. they are treated so awful in my area when we have protests at city hall from local rabbis. it takes a LOT of courage #ALSO there is a lot to be said about eliot as a character and how he isn't the best person but for the sake of him loving children i wrote #it that way. also hardison would be disappointed in you for supporting israel #mine

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ducktoonsfanart · 10 months ago

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Donald Duck and his family mourn the dead in memory of the victims of the terrorist attack and bombing - Donald Duck and his family in Moscow (Russia) and Belgrade (Serbia) - Duck comics - Duckverse

Unfortunately, sorry for the long wait, because I was sick for a few weeks, and I'm recovering a bit now, so I haven't had a chance to draw and post new drawings. Yes, I'm back and will post follow-up drawings related to the previous holidays that were marked as well as the following holidays in the coming period.

Unfortunately, due to the recent events, I am publishing my sad drawings where Donald Duck and his family mourn the deceased. The first drawing shows Donald Duck with Daisy Duck, along with his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie Duck who went to Moscow (the capital of Russia) and where they are mourning the dead and honoring the departed since a week ago (22.3. 2024) a terrorist attack took place in Moscow, in the Crocus City Hall, where over 140 people were killed and over 360 wounded. More could have been killed, if not for a few young men (Muslims and Russians) who saved the other people and took them out of the concert hall, because a concert by a Russian music group was about to take place. Among the dead were not only Russians, but also members of other nationalities who wanted to see that concert. The perpetrators are alleged Muslim terrorists from the Islamic State, and all of them were later caught. I don't want to go further into the discussion about the main principal who financed these terrorists, nor do I want to go into the discussion about the current war in Ukraine, because my blog is not about politics and please don't ask me those questions. This just shows my respect for the deceased not only the victims of that terrorist attack but also all the victims who died in terrorist attacks in the last more than 24 years. It is certainly a terrible event, which is why two days of mourning were declared after that, and I drew the Russian flag at half-mast, because on the day of mourning, the flag is only flown at half-mast, and Daisy in that drawing is wearing a coat and a black bow as a sign of mourning and black clothes are usually worn at funerals. Behind them, you can see the Basilica of St. Basil as well as the Spasskaya Tower, which is located within the Kremlin. Rest in peace to those victims.

Покойтесь с миром жертвы теракта! Слава им! Аминь.

The second drawing shows Donald with his family who are in Belgrade (the capital of Serbia) where they are mourning those who died and died during the bombing by NATO in 1999, as well as the victims in Kosovo and Metohija in 2004. I said that I come from Serbia and what happened 25 years ago was something that many residents of my country cannot forget. I was two years old when it started, so I don't remember it, except from the story of my parents. I don't want to go further into the discussion about the beginning of the war because the topic is too painful, and I doubt that many would understand what I would say. All in all, civilians did not deserve such a thing and it is very difficult to get over such wounds. Because among the dead there were also children who suffered from NATO bombing. There was also the courage of the soldiers who defended the country from the attackers and died bravely defending their country, so they are also honored. In addition to Donald, there are also Daisy Duck, Grandma Duck (Elvira Coot), Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Dewey and Louie Duck (Donald's nephews), April, May and June Duck (Daisy's nieces) where they pay tribute to those who died in that war as well as in the violence in Kosovo and Metohija that occurred in 2004, when there was also a mass exodus of Serbs, Roma, Bosniaks and other non-Albanian people from Kosovo and Metohija and the demolition of numerous Orthodox monasteries and churches by Albanian fanatics. Behind them is the Church of St. Sava, one of the largest Orthodox churches in the world, as well as the Beogradanka building, where one of Belgrade's television stations is located. On that grave is written the dedication to those victims as well as the flowers brought to that grave.

Rest in peace to those victims! Amen.

Вечна слава настрадалима и нека почивају у миру! Амин.

Also, since tomorrow is Good Friday, the day of the martyrdom of Jesus Christ, which is a sad day for Christians.

These are my tribute to those victims as well as those who suffered, and that the victims should not be forgotten and history should not be forgotten, because if it is forgotten, it will repeat itself again. Feel free to share this, but please do not use this for other people's purposes and please do not complicate it with political issues, because this blog is not dedicated to that. May God welcome the victims into the Kingdom of God and may they receive eternal glory! Rest in peace! Amen.

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tessa-liam · 6 months ago

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Marabelle - 14 -

Lovers in a Dangerous Time - 14 -

Choices – The Royal Romance, AU – (cross-over with Rules of Engagement)

Series Premise – An American teenager from New York City is introduced to the world of a small European country and its society of royalty, nobility, and commoners. How will her life story be transformed? Will this new adventure bring her happiness...or regret?

Marabelle Series Masterlist, My Complete Masterlist

Main Pairing – Crown Prince Liam Rys x F!OC Lady Sophia (Sophie) Taylor

Other Pairings – Maxwell Beaumont x M!OC Daniel (from NYC), Drake Walker x F!OC Melanie Smithson

Most characters belong to Pixelberry Studios

Series Rating – M*🔞Warnings: this series will have NSFW material, drinking, crude language & innuendo.

Not Beta’d - Please excuse all errors.

Category – Alternate universe/on-going series/angst/fluff/cross-over with Choices Rules of Engagement

Words: 3434

Chapter Summary – It’s graduation night for Maxwell and along with Sophie and Daniel, they attend the festivities with family and friends at the University of Cordonia in the capital. Tasked with a diplomatic opportunity, Liam flies to Rome for a summit with Francesco and officials of the Italian parliament.

Music & Title Inspiration: Lovers in a Dangerous Time, Bare Naked Ladies, Ben Grosse

A/N1: Bethany Beaumont, Maxwell’s mother, is originally from the U.S. and is Barthelemy Beaumont’s second wife. Annabelle Beaumont (deceased) is Bertrand’s mother.

A/N2: ‘Social Season’ in this AU series refers to a traditional period in the spring/summer for royalty and members of the court to take part in Balls, dinner parties and charity events.

A/N3: Heartfelt thanks to @Selina012 for joining me in writing ideas and with dialogue for this chapter.

en route to Rome, Italy

Seated behind his computer screen, Liam scrolled through the files his advisors had given him earlier in the day. It was late into the evening and the plane was quiet. Drake was asleep in his chair, snoring softly, and Bastien was seated nearby, his eyes trained on his book. Rashad, standing for the crown’s legal counsel, was reviewing the proposals that would be discussed and implemented if agreed upon.

The only sound came from the occasional beep of the computer's keyboard as Liam entered the codes that would allow him to access the secure files. Sitting back, he began to read through and analyze the information. After an hour or so had passed by, Liam stopped to acknowledge the flight attendant who set down a late snack and two fingers of scotch.

After taking a sip, he turned to his head guard.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Liam said quietly as he closed the laptop and set it aside.

"Of course not, sir," Bastien said. "What's on your mind?"

"I just had an interesting chat with a source. There have been rumors circulating in Cordonia that the 'Sons of the Earth' are organizing. The Sons have been out of power since the last time they rose up to oppose the monarchy over a decade ago.”

"They were never a real threat," Bastien stated, his tone confident.

"My source tells me that a new leader has risen within their ranks, someone who is very charismatic, and able to sway the others with his message. I am concerned, Bastien. The Sons were always an extreme faction, and they could prove dangerous if allowed to regain power."

"You want me to find out more about them?"

"Yes," Liam nodded. "And be discreet. If it turns out that this new leader has no real power, we can put this behind us. But if there's any threat or danger, we need to be ahead of it."

"Of course, sir. I will situate agents immediately."

"Thank you, Bastien." Liam's expression grew pensive as he turned back to open the computer. "There is something else."

"Sir?"

"This source tells me that the Sons' leader has taken a particular interest in a member of the nobility. It is believed that the noblewoman is being used to gain support among the other houses.”

"Which noblewoman?"

"Duchess Adelaide Amaranth," Liam answered, his gaze hardening. "According to the information I have, factions have been allowed to situate in Krona."

"You want me to investigate her involvement, as well."

"I'd like you to bring her in and question her, yes. And I want a full investigation into her financial records. See if you can uncover any ties between her and the Sons."

"Consider it done, sir."

Liam loved the power and responsibility of his role as the crown prince. He thrived on the challenges and opportunities it provided, and was excited for the day he would take the throne as king.

With his advisor's files securely tucked away, Liam leaned back in his chair, a slight smile on his lips. He was confident in his ability to lead Cordonia into a brighter future, and he knew that with his team of advisors, he would be successful.

He had never felt so ready for the challenges ahead, and he couldn't wait to take his place as Cordonia's leader. He glanced at his ring, the royal seal engraved on it and smiled.

Liam knew he was doing the right thing. He was prepared and would not let his country down. He would protect it, care for it, and ensure that it remained prosperous and safe for generations to come.

He thought back to his father, and the legacy he would leave behind. Liam knew that his father had been a good king, and he hoped to emulate him as much as possible. He hoped that he would live up to the standard his father had set.

But more than anything, he was looking forward to starting a life with Sophie. Their relationship was a secret for now to many, but he knew that their time would come. He had been thinking about their future together a lot lately, and he had an idea of what he wanted to do.

University of Cordonia, student dorms, Candace’s suite

Sophie stood in front of the mirror, helping Candy fix the accessories in her hair. "Candy, you look amazing, and you will definitely be the center of attention at the party tonight."

Candy, who was wearing a long purple dress, smiled and turned to take a satisfied look at her makeup. "Thanks Sophie! I picked this dress out especially for the grad, and Tom will be there, too. It's the first time we've ever been to a formal event like this together."

Sophie smiled with a hint of envy. "It's nice, you two look so good together. Speaking of which, Tom is your third boyfriend at Uni, right? You are always so popular with the guys."

Candy winked mischievously and patted Sophie on the shoulder. "Oh, Soph, don't say that. I'm just looking for the one who really belongs to me."

"Maybe, Candy," Sophie said, shaking her head. "I guess I just haven't met anyone yet. I am just fussy and hard to please," she grinned.

"...and you're almost a graduate. Why don't you even try to get a boyfriend? Maybe you're expecting too much of your future boyfriend, too."

Sophie laughed and waved her hand in front of her. Her relationship with Liam was still ‘under wraps’ with only family and Daniel knowing the truth. "No, it's not that. I have had some bad luck with dating in the past. And besides, I have other priorities."

Candy raised her eyebrows. "Other priorities?"

"Like finishing my education and starting my career." Sophie shrugged.

"Sophie, you know that's not enough to keep a man happy," Candy teased.

Candy's cell phone rang. She picked it up and saw that it was Tom. Candy suddenly smiled with joy, picked up the phone in front of Sophia and began to talk to Tom endlessly.

Sophie's sighed and went out on the balcony alone. The sky was now dark, and the stars dotted the night sky. The cool evening breeze touched her face and soothed her heart. As she looked around, the campus was enveloped in a colorful glow. The trees and buildings were decorated with all kinds of colorful lights and decorations. The celebration of the end of the school year filled every corner.

She picked up her phone and sent Liam a quick text and snapshot of the view from the balcony, her fingers jumping across the screen, and finally pressed send. But as the minutes ticked by Liam's response was slower to arrive than usual.

Sophie's eyes flashed a hint of loss, and she put the phone down slowly. She took a few deep breaths and recalled that Liam had said the previous night that he was going on a four-day business trip to Italy with his advisors. Perhaps he is now busy meeting with the Italian politicians. In a few days they'd see each other again, she put her phone into her clutch and smiled.

Just then the balcony door was pushed open. Candy, with a glow of happiness on her face walked quickly out onto the balcony and said excitedly, "Tom is waiting downstairs, we must go. Are you ready?" Sophie nodded and smiled at Candy, happy for her. "I'm ready, let's go."

Outside the building, a young man with a bouquet of flowers stood by the roadside waiting. Upon seeing Candy, he spread his arms in joy and the two embraced followed by a passionate kiss. Sophie looked at their sweet exchange, with both blessing and faint envy in her heart. But she quickly recovered her mood and followed them on to their way to the auditorium.

U. of C. Auditorium

As they stepped inside, the grandeur of the space overwhelmed Sophie. The walls were lined with intricately carved stonework and the ceilings were adorned with ornate frescoes depicting the history of Cordonia.

The stage was set at the far end of the hall, with a large, curved platform flanked by rows of velvet chairs.

The room was filled with the sounds of conversation and laughter, as hundreds of students and their families gathered for the event.

"There you are!" Maxwell exclaimed, as Sophie approached the group. "We were starting to wonder if you were going to miss the ceremony."

Sophie grinned. "No way. I wouldn't miss this for anything."

She reached out to give Maxwell a hug and was surprised to find that he was wearing a tuxedo. "I see you decided to dress up for the occasion," she said, amused.

"Yeah, mom insisted!"

Maxwell gestured to Daniel, who was dressed similarly in a tailored suit, his hair combed neatly. "Squirrel!" Daniel shouted as Bertrand and her uncle Barthelemy looked on in dismay.

***

As the graduation ceremony ended, the excitement in the auditorium grew as the lights dimmed, signaling the start of the post formal festivities.

The sound of the band started, and everyone's eyes were drawn to the stage behind the dance floor.

Above the dance floor the ceiling was covered with gold tassels and twinkling crystal lights which complemented the colorful balloons and streamers surrounding the parquet floor.

A spotlight illuminated the space where a young man stood in a white tuxedo, a microphone in his hand.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen," he began, his voice ringing out through the hall. "I am your host for this evening, and it is my great pleasure to welcome you all here to celebrate the graduating class of 2024."

There was a smattering of applause from the crowd. The host grinned. "It's time for the graduates to strut their stuff on the dance floor. Will all the students please take their places for the first dance."

Sophie laughed as she watched Maxwell and Daniel sashay arm in arm to the center.

Aunt Bethany gently tapped her shoulder. “Dear, your uncle, Bertrand, Sav and I are heading home. Have fun tonight.” Kissing her aunt’s cheek, Sophie turned her attention back to the dance.

“You guys can go dance then and I'll walk around.” Sophia smiled as she told Candy and Tom motioning towards the dance floor. Despite feeling a little lonely inside she wanted to give them some space to be alone.

“Okay, see you later Soph!” Candy and Tom smiled at each other and walked arm and arm into the dancing crowd. Looking at their backs Sophie took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Memories of her first dance with Liam flooded her thoughts, seeming to have just happened yesterday. What would happen if you were by your side tonight, Liam? Maybe he would gently take her hand and ask her to dance with him or maybe they would sneak out of the room and find a quiet corner to enjoy some alone time and sweet solitude. Sophie moved through the crowd alone, occasionally greeting acquaintances, but more often she just quietly observed everything and everyone around her.

That is when the mood at the party suddenly turned eerie. The lights began to flicker and then the whole venue was plunged into darkness. The sounds of people began to cry out as they looked for their companions. What is the matter - is there a power outage? Sophie mumbled to herself as she was about to take out her phone for light. But that was forgotten as she heard gunfire in the distance, which instantly destroyed all the peace and beauty of the evening.

“It's a shooting!” A frightened voice broke through the darkness as people started running and screaming wildly. Sophie's heart raced as she pressed against a wall trying to find a safe refuge as the emergency lights clicked on. Out of nowhere, Sophie felt a stinging pain on her cheek and forehead. She touched it with her hand and blood smeared on her fingertips having been cut in the face by shards of flying glass. Being surrounded by a chaotic crowd and the sounds of more gunfire, Sophie never felt more terrified and helpless than ever before.

Sophie looked through the flickering lights and saw strange figures flash through the window. Each of them was dressed in black and wore a black mask showing only their cold eyes. What was even more bizarre was the emblem on their chests. Each had been embroidered with a strange pattern. A picture of the earth with a baby was intertwined. It was unclear and strange who or what this referenced. Sophie took out her phone to film them but then another shot rang out close by which made her jump. In a panic the crowd rushed in her direction and in chaos her phone was flipped out of her hands by a fleeing person which flew several meters slamming into to the ground.

Regardless of the panic she felt at the moment, Sophie quickly took advantage of a few people moving out of her way to run and pick up her phone and placed it into her pocket, the screen smashed. The sound of her name being called brought Sophie's mind back to reality. She turned her head and saw that Tom had been shot in the shoulder in the confusion and his blood was red on the floor and down the front of his suit jacket. Candy was also cut in the arm by flying shrapnel and in pain, huddled on the ground beside Tom.

Sophie, ignoring the pain on her face, struggled to rush to them and used her whole-body strength to help the two people up amid all the chaos and despair. She found a glimmer of strength in the fear she felt for her friend and the thought of Liam. Grabbing a table napkin, recalling the first aid she had learned during her Girl Scouts years, she made emergency bandages for both of them. as she bandaged, she looked around from time to time looking for possible escape routes, but the smoke and the fire blurred her vision, and every step was full of unknown and danger.

Candy knelt down beside Tom and held him tight ignoring the pain on her arm. Her voice crying was pain and heartache Tom's face was pale as paper, but his eyes still flashed with the will to live. “Candy, sweetie ...” Tom struggled to lift his wounded hand and gently wiped the tears from Candy’s face and forced a smile, although his own gunshot wound to the shoulder had nearly knocked him unconscious.

“We have to get out of here, quick.” Sophie had just finished patching up Tom's shoulder and stood up. “Let's go that way ... there seems to be an exit.” She said pointing to a looming door not far away. Candy dried her tears, and she nodded. Together they supported Tom, struggling through confusion and fear, Sophie leads them through the sea of fire and debris.

Rome, Italy

A sleek, black limousine drove through the city, navigating the busy streets until it arrived at a five-star hotel located in the historical centre.

Liam sat inside the spacious interior, his gaze fixed out the window as the scenery rushed past them. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Sophie, her face, her smile. The memory of the softness of her skin, the gentle curves of her body beneath his touch. He was anxiously waiting for her response to his text.

He was going through the days events of the first day of his official business meetings he had today. It was a very productive and busy day of meetings with the prime minister of Italy, the minister for economy, the mayor of Rome and others to discuss international issues, economic growth and cultural exchanges between Cordonia and Italy.

But there was a part of him that wasn't fully focused on the job at hand. His initial plan for this Italian trip was to formally propose, to show his family and country that their future Queen was the most important person in his life.

He remembered seeing the display of jewelry at the Cartier store, he had a ring, a symbol of their commitment picked out for her. Now, inside his suit jacket, that diamond ring was nestled safely next to his heart.

Liam started to become tense and anxious that he didn't hear anything from Sophie.

Rashad watched from the other side of the vehicle with concern. He cleared his throat and broke the silence. "You alright, my boy?" He asked softly.

Liam shook his head and forced a half-hearted laugh. "Sorry...I've got a lot of things on my mind right now."

"Yes," Rashad replied. "A lot of big decisions on the horizon. So how'd today go, if I may ask? I wasn't there at the meeting of the prime minister. How was it?"

Liam straightened his posture and raised his chin.

"I think it went very well. I gave a very encouraging speech and I was able to make him agree with our position about our partnership between the two nations. That should help open more trade deals and increase exports to other countries, maybe even beyond the EU, like China or the UAE."

Rashad nodded proudly. "Excellent."

The two men continued their discussion as the limo wound its way through the city towards the luxury hotel. After a short drive, the vehicle drew up to the entrance.

Drake smiled at the luxury accommodation and turned to Liam. "And the hotel you're staying in is The Ritz, right?"

Liam raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"This is where I'm staying for the duration of the trip, but I did the preliminary negotiating with them before we left so my entourage could get the penthouse floor. But first, my friend," Liam chided playfully, "I have to make a statement for diplomacy purposes."

Liam emerged from the limo as the reporters and press begin flashing their cameras as paparazzi called out for his attention.

'Ecco qui, Nostrand alternative!'

["Over here, Your Highness!" ]

"Your Highness, do you have any comments for the press?"

"Can you tell us what the plans are for the Cordonian delegation while in the city?"

Liam looked at the cameras and responded.

'Il mio governo attende con ansia i nostri dibattiti su come promuovere la crescita economica e le opportunita per i nostri Paesi, affinche tutti i nostri cittadini possano.'

["My government looks forward to our discussions about promoting economic growth and opportunities for our countries, so that everyone in our citizens can prosper and enjoy the benefits of progress." ]

The gathered journalists cheered, and a member of the concierge team opened the door and led Liam, Rashad, Drake and Bastien into the opulent interior of the building.

Before entering the elevator, Liam paused and turned to Bastien. "i need you to locate Lady Sophia. I have been unable to contact her since leaving Cordonia."

"Right away, sir."

Thanks for reading; please let me know if you would like to be added or removed from this series.

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