#discovering that bi-gender is a thing was life changing honestly

[runawaymun]

Gender feelings are so weird sometimes. Toying with sometimes using he/him pronouns but it doesn’t feel quite as good as getting referred to as a boy or handsome or king.

[magebunkshelf]

How did you figure out you were genderfluid I questioning my gender I didn't know if you had any advice on how to figure it out?

I am so sorry for the slow response. I wanted to take a day or two to figure out the best way to answer. I just spent two hours writing out a really long and thorough answer about my experiences and all the advice I could think of and then my page bugged or something while I was typing and I lost it all x.x Its 3am, and this is nowhere near as well written as I was trying :'(

I guess the super short of it, and sorry this is going to be super scatterbrained now:

I never cared how I looked, never felt comfortable in my own skin, and just dressed very messily - overly large t-shirts, hoodies, and never shorts because I never wanted to acknowledge my legs. I started growing out my hair during lockdown. I'd been trying to grow it out for years but it had to be kept short first because of very strict school dress code rules, and second for practical reasons for work. Having long hair, making a change to my appearance like that, caused to me to start to like how I looked and start to care about it more.

One thing that made me introspect on my gender was when I found audio roleplays. I'd discovered I was bi around the same time, and after finding F4M stuff I also gave M4F a go. I'd questioned things before, but finding that 4F audios would often feel fine and not uncomfortable like I was expecting, really got me thinking more about it.

I'd have called myself like a guy, but stronger words like "man" always made me uncomfortable. I think I'm pretty gender neutral most of the time, but there are definitely times where I feel I associate more with one gender or another. I never felt all that "manly" all my life, and people would just sum that up as like "he's just more sensitive," which didn't help. The times your gender more closely matches how you were raised can start to raise those doubts at the back of your mind, like "am I wrong? Am I faking it?" etc, and those really aren't helpful! Those thoughts started going away whenever I didn't feel masc at all, I held on to knowing that feeling and that it changes.

I started to cared about how I looked and try different things based on what I saw people/characters wearing that I wanted to try. I bought myself some skirts & thigh-highs, and also uh chest padding x.x, and honestly I felt great! For the first time in my life, the person in the mirror was someone I cared about. But it was only some of the time, sometimes the thought of wearing those made me uncomfortable, and I'd go back to jeans and feel much better.

I think for myself, my gender orbits around androgynous (maybe leaning slightly towards the fem side). I realise I've always felt very androgynous, but that it does change one way or another every now and then. There are times I definitely feel more boy-ish, and others like;

There was this one time, I'd felt either very neutral or kinda masc for maybe a week. But then I passed the hall mirror and - it felt like my whole body slammed into a wall, just WHAM! Suddenly F mode! It occasionally happens, and sometimes in reverse, or sometimes for feels very neutral, but this one time the feeling was surprisingly strong from the sudden change XD

I think all I can recommend is to ask yourself how you feel about it; gender is different from any person to person, we have labels for some common experiences, but those experiences are still personal, still going to vary, the only person who can make that determination either way is you. And it may change! Some days I wonder seriously if I may be trans, if that would be more who I am, but then other days I distinctly relate more to being a little more masc. So right now I don't feel that that's me, but I do now have an idea of who I think I am, and some changes I want to make to myself and what I wear to reflect that. But also my experience of being pretty neutral most of the time may not match another genderfluid person!

Look at people or characters you see online that you think look or dress in a way you really like, and ask yourself how you'd feel looking like that, or wearing that? I started to ask myself, do I just find that attractive, or is this more like jealousy? XD If you play games with character customisation, what do you find yourself going for? And if you're in the position to try it, is there anything about how you look or dress you'd want to try changing? I think that's how you can really assess it; having facial hair a few years ago made me super uncomfortable and I swore off ever growing it again, but now having shaved arms & legs feels great, it completely clicks for how I feel about myself even when I'm in a more M mode. And even if my F mode clothes don't feel right to wear all the time, the times that they do, that I'm in the right mode for it, feels great, and I'm not sure I would have figured that out without trying it.

At the end of the day, maybe you are fluid, maybe you're not, and either way is totally fine! It's an ongoing process of figuring out who you are, don't rush it! And maybe however you land you might not want to put a label on it, that's also fine too! I have my own little genderfluid flag attached to my monitor & a few other things, and these are all there because it helped me early on in discovering these things about myself. It can feel weird and strange in asking these things, but after I found a label I felt applied to me, I liked having the flag there as a reminder to myself: this is okay. This is normal. There are other people like me. I've always felt different, that there was something else up, but my whole life it was just dismissed as, I guess I'm just weird. But now I have a name for it, I have a better understanding for what's going on in my head, and I have a flag to remind me it's okay to be the way I am. But you dont need to find a label, that's also up to you!

Be yourself. Be awesome.

[citadelofmythoughts]

I really like how this person put it that a reason beacon Yang leaned more towards feminity and probably experienced comphet is that she thought in order to fill the role of mom for ruby, she had to become Summer in almost every way possible, even at the cost of her own individuality. And we know Summer chose to present feminine and while I like the bi Summer hc, the only relationship Yang saw growing up was between tai and Summer. So I can imagine losing Summer at such a young age, Yang's only conception for "how to be woman" came from what she remembered about Summer. (+ growing up in a small island and only having time to raise ruby meant she probably didn't get out much to socialize despite the facade she puts on as a party girl) I don't know if this makes sense or not 😭 but I like the idea that Yang tried so hard to be a copy of Summer for ruby's sake that it stunted her own growth for self realization and that's why we now see her embracing her masculinity + figuring out she's a lesbian (+ the whole being new to relationships thing) Honestly love how yangs character subverts the "tomboy only becomes happy when she becomes girly and boycrazy" trope that I hated from the 90s and 2000s by making it the reverse, -> feminine girl is truly happy when she becomes masc/a lesbian. Yang is truly such a complex character with many facets from her gender and sexuality to her disability to her parentification coupled with abandoned issues etc

https://x.com/CookBlakeAgenda/status/1733301553371472056?t=Kg63lzZXP8IrlIcvWpFfWQ&s=19

This makes complete sense. Yang's early life revolved around Summer and Ruby and then just Ruby. It follows that she would try to emulate the one real mother figure she had and yeah, living on Patch probably didn't help things

Like so many of us, she gets out into the wider world and meets new people, has new experiences and starts to fit the puzzle pieces together.

I know it's no surprise that I completely adore Yang, she's so fascinating and complicated and "more than meets the eye" and is always open to discovering more about herself and changing and growing.

"If there's something I'm missing, it's not because I lost it, it's because I haven't found it yet and the only way to do it is to keep going."

[creampuffqueen]

soo if you dont mind me asking, do you know when or why you started coming to some kind of realizations that you were bi (or possibly lesbian)?

i have lived my entire life convinced im straight but after some things i realized that i may be bi. But i dont know. i dont think im a lesbian but i also know im not fully straight, you know?

please don't answer if this too personal or uncomfortable, i dont want you to answer anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. you can totally ignore it.

I saw your post about talking things through with your friend recently and i'm really happy you were able to have that open conversation with someone you trust about yourself, despite what your label or sexuality may be ❤️.

if you do choose to answer this, thank you in advance. i appreciate it.

of course i don't mind you asking!! honestly i'm very flattered and honored to be asked this as i'm certainly no expert on sexuality or anything like this, but it makes me happy that my blog is a safe and welcoming space for someone who has these kinds of questions!

so, here's sort of a quick and dirty rundown of my sexuality journey. (i ended up putting this under a cut because it got a bit long whoops).

for starters, i grew up in a christian household in a small, conservative town in the middle of nowhere texas. my parents are far from being fundamentalists or anything, but they just... never spoke about other sexualities. i didn't even know being gay was an OPTION until i was about 12.

in middle school, many of my friends began to discover/experiment with sexuality and gender labels. i never really did, i always felt content and comfortable with my attraction to boys. (or, due to recent realizations, my supposed attraction to boys. but we can touch on that later).

then, some time around when i was 12-13, i had an Experience that made me begin to question things a bit.

i was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday party, and after a long night of fun we all fell asleep in her living room in our sleeping bags. i was the first to wake up in the morning, and in order to not wake anyone else up, i stayed in my sleeping bag and played video games on my phone. at one point, another girl woke up, and since we were the only two awake, she came and sat next to me. i didn't know this girl too well, she was a mutual friend of the sleepover girl. but at one point, in order to better see what i was playing on my phone, she crawled inside the sleeping bag with me.

and i just remember feeling warm all over as she laid next to me. i was struck with the sudden desire to pull this girl close and cuddle with her. i don't remember anything else about that sleepover except this one moment early in the morning.

i went to school the next week and spoke about this with one of my friends who knew they were queer, saying that i thought i might have a crush on this girl and wondering if i could possibly be bisexual.

and... my friend told me that no, i didn't have a crush on this girl, i clearly just wanted to be Really Really Good Friends with her. obviously. comphet hits even the queer middle schoolers, apparently.

and so after that i was like 'okay then you're the expert! guess i don't like girls :)' and then literally didn't think about it for the next 2-3 years.

time jump to 15 year old Mal, stuck inside during the Covid Summer of 2020 with nothing to do. my brother and i decided to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender for the first time together to pass the time. i saw Suki on screen for the first time and felt something in me Change.

i've always had fictional crushes, you know? but nothing like this.

and as all well adjusted gen-z kids do, i made a bunch of memes about it. at first they were all jokes. just, 'lol, look how much i love this fictional character'.

but after a while i began to realize that i wasn't exactly joking anymore.

so there you have it folks, suki from avatar made me like girls.

but even after this realization, i still wasn't exactly comfortable with calling myself bisexual. i went by queer for a little while, before eventually settling on bisexual. now, ATLA was my first introduction to the world of animation. i began to watch a ton more animated shows after finishing it, and in all the shows i often found myself more drawn to the female characters than the males. don't get me wrong, i still enjoyed those characters, but i was OBSESSED with the girls.

and after i went back to school in person, i did begin to notice that what i originally thought was just wanting to be friends with girls was running a bit deeper than that. i had my first real girl crush (i stopped liking her after she trashed the legend of korra to my face though).

and that was my life for the last few years! i was very happy with being bisexual, and i am very lucky that i have such a supportive and accepting friend group. coming out to my friends was so easy and i've never been worried they wouldn't accept me, which is great.

and now, for what has led me to believe i might possibly be a lesbian.

i got my first boyfriend my senior year of high school. he was an absolutely wonderful guy. i've always been pretty 'picky' when it comes to men. i get crushes very easily but if a guy starts to reciprocate then they have to meet this high list of standards i have composed in my head. and this guy met them all.

by all accounts, i should have been SO happy. like i'm not even exaggerating when i say that this boy was basically perfect. he treated me so well. my friends and family adored him.

and yet, something just didn't feel right. i started to get very nervous about being alone with him. i started getting annoyed whenever he texted me. i started avoiding seeing him, avoiding having him come over. eventually it got to the point where i decided i just had to end things, because something was off with me and i didn't want to string him along when he deserved better. i broke up with him and didn't shed a single tear.

everyone was pretty confused, but eventually got over it. i thought that perhaps it was just a fluke. it was my first real relationship, maybe i was just nervous.

but then it happened again this year in college. i met a great guy on a dating app. we had fun together, he was really nice and respectful. we never made it official, but we spent enough time together it was basically a relationship. and then, again, when everything should have been going well i started feeling the same things as before. anxiety, annoyance, avoidance. i broke it off with him over text and felt relieved when it was finally over.

after that, i began to consider the possibility that i was never attracted to guys in the first place. i lost sleep over it, i was thinking so hard.

and then i thought to myself 'i don't think people who are attracted to guys have to think this hard about it'.

so since then, i've been entertaining the possibility that i might be a lesbian. it's still a journey, and i'm working on being okay with the in between stage i'm in. i don't want to put a definitive label on myself until i've been with a girl, which isn't something i've had the opportunity to do yet.

and that's sort of all the major events in my life that i've had in regards to my sexuality!

i hope this has been of some help to you, anon! i also just want to add in some reassurance as well. sexuality can be a complex thing, so don't feel the need to rush into a new label if you're not ready yet. everyone's journey is at their own pace, and you're not 'less' bisexual if this is something you've only recently discovered about yourself!

i wish you all the luck with your self-discovery, anon! and my inbox and dms are always open if you have more questions!

[will80sbyers]

(a young queer who's known they were lgbt+ for a few years) (also, sorry, this is very random)

If you can offer any like- words of wisdom, I'm all accepting. I think I may be bisexual? I'm not quite sure, I go through phases between wanting to be unlabeled or not, and it's all a mess. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say, I think I'm just

You? Bi? How? Any help? How? (so much confusion)

The most important thing I need you to know is that you don't need to have an answer. Especially if you are still young, you don't have to have anything figured out yet, and you can even go all your life without knowing for sure and there wouldn't be anything wrong with it, you are still welcomed and part of the community even if you are just questioning!

You can even say you are bisexual one month and then change it back to unlabeled or discover you are gay and feel more confident on that, it's all okay, sexuality is a personal thing that only you may decide upon, only you can understand yourself better than anybody else or any definitions out there, and we live in a world that tries to shove heterosexuality and gender-conformity on us since birth so it's difficult to detangle our brains from that... You just need to think about what makes you happy in your life and follow that...

Even "experimenting" just to see is perfectly okay, just do it safely for yourself and others, and do it honestly meaning that you have to say to the other person that you are not 100% sure of anything and just want to try to see how you feel and also if you do this of starting to date someone make sure it's someone you trust but be firm with your boundaries and don't make them pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with!!!

If you want to read more about bisexuality and maybe see if it resonates with you online you can find lots of resources and people that talk about their experiences and I think https://bi.org/en is a good site to read "definitions" and stuff like that, but also don't feel like you have to have a fixed label to be valid because you don't, you can even just use queer/not straight to define yourself and I think that's perfectly ok!!

I don't really consider myself wise but for myself I think the most important thing is that you have to be kind to yourself and give yourself understanding, know that it's okay if you are confused and maybe shift the thought process to one that makes you less anxious to just figure it out immediately, I spent a lot of years without understanding myself and thinking I was straight and even now that I know for sure that I'm definitely not, I still have not been with any girl and I'm still in the closet with my family even if my friends have known for a few years, everybody has their time for these things and it's okay to not have it all figured out

You don't have to come out to anyone if you don't feel like it and you don't have to have experience to know and you can also have experience with one gender and understand after that that experience was compulsory heterosexuality and you actually don't like that at all!

You are still part of the community as long as you don't think you're straight and we are here to welcome you, take all the time you need! Give yourself empathy and kindness like you were your best friend and take it easy 🌈

[ragnarockz]

I feel I might be actually a lesbian. Or maybe more women leaning bi. But I don’t know what to do about it. Tbh I don’t feel I can do anything about it. I love my boyfriend. But yeah. Dunno what to do with these feelings. I’ve had them. Since I was like 18.

Hi, Anon!

Thank you for confiding in me with your message; just know that this account will always be a safe and welcoming place 💗

Honestly, I feel like the best thing you can 'do' is listen to your gut. If you feel a certain way and it's been gnawing at you since 18, it's most likely how you truly feel despite who you've/are dating and what you're experiencing in your environment that may be leading you to question/doubt yourself.

I had feelings of liking girls/women in the romantic and sexual way since I was 13 but kinda just brushed it off for years (I didn't have anywhere/anyone to turn to/talk about what I was feeling nor was I raised in an environment that was safe enough for me to express myself until I was in my 20s).

We have so much resources, people and communities at our fingertips now that will definitely help guide you to be and discover who you are meant to be.

And even if you change and grow and realize hey I might be X or, a couple years down the road, hey I might be Y; you are always changing. Gender and sexuality are fluid things in life and you never just have to be 'one' thing. Ever.

If your boyfriend is the type of person who you feel safe about discussing your feelings with, I would definitely start there. I feel like if you have the choice to be honest about how your feeling with your partner, it may help come to terms with your sexuality.

It took a long time for me to be honest with myself and with others and you're always going to be 'picking and choosing' who are safe people to discuss things like gender/sexuality with but just know that there are always more people having your back than those against you 💗

[creaturebehavior]

i keep thinking recently about how confused i was sexually as an adolescent because i didn’t know about gender queerness yet and even once i started exploring gender and my own transness it was still very confusing for awhile and took many years honestly for me to truly accept and understand my experience with gender and what that means for my experience with my sexuality and i feel such relief for how far i’ve come. there’s been periods in my life where i felt so confused

i didn’t understand why i was so often attracted to gay men all my life? and why i was also attracted to women? and why was i really only attracted to people who were just more feminine in general regardless of their gender? and why do i feel like a hundred times more attracted to someone if they’re queer? And i had to deal with internationalized homophobia and confusion like. I know i’m not the only queer to have felt this way but i felt like it was predatory to be more attracted to someone who is queer especially if they’re trans, even though i am queer i am trans i am gay i am queer in every way beyond my gender and sexuality as well. but i felt like that was bad of me or wrong of me. Until i spent a little more time on this earth, got to know more queer people, got to know myself better, and realized that this is an extremely normal and common experience

the reason i use the word queer to describe myself is so much because of my journey with sexuality and gender.

i thought i was straight and cis, then i thought i was bisexual and then i learned the word pansexual and was like that’s me. and then i kind of thought i was a lesbian but i also felt like i was a boy but i was in denial about my trans feelings. then i accidentally fell in love with my best friend who was a guy so i was like i guess i’m pansexual for sure. then i accidentally discovered gender and then i was like i guess i’m gender fluid. and then i was like i think i’m a boy. then i was like i think im a boy like, mostly. and around this same time i learned it’s okay to just call myself bisexual and that it can mean the same thing as pansexual if you’re using the most popularly accepted definition of the word in the lgbt community so i was like okay i’m bi now i guess. but also at this same time defining my sexuality became pretty unimportant to me. then i felt pretty truly mostly genderless but a little fluid for a good few years. then i moved away and was mostly back in the closet out for safety reasons and that really started to screw with my head and i was genderless af through these years but everyone perceived me as a cis woman and called me she/her and i was also dating a straight man at the time who perceived me as cis so i was just feeling so unseen and strange and so didn’t feel like myself. then i got out of that relationship and had to get back in touch with myself again. then more moving and more being in the closet. eventually i realized i do identify more with womanhood than i did when i was younger and that is in part because of living five or so years being perceived as a cis woman it really changed my perception on who i am in relation to the world and what i feel that means for my identity personally. and so there’s been times now over the last couple years i identified a lot more with womanhood than i ever had previously. and this year i feel like i’ve been very in touch with parts of my gender i haven’t been in touch with in a long time. feeling boyish at times well really all over the board. genderfluid is still a term that’s true for me 10 years later but even better than that i think is to call myself queer. cuz what the hell is going on. and it applies to my experience with sexuality too.

and side note, while we’re on the topic of queer experiences. dating someone who is “straight” is very confusing because i am not straight so we cannot be straight together. but language i guess is just as complicated as sexuality. there’s plenty of people who identify as straight who engage in queer relationships or queer sex so. But at the time, especially being young, i remember feeling really stressed out at times dating a straight man because i felt this loss of identity in the face of his identity and thoughts would constantly swirl around in my head like “anyone who dates me is automatically a little gay just by the nature of the situation. if i’m trans then he’s technically a little gay” just trying to make sense of my experience. ugh being young an queer is hard.

i’m grateful i understand myself now and that i don’t have to stress out over stuff like this as much. i still feel some gender stress sometimes cuz it is a lot to process having a fluid gender at times, like sometimes i feel mentally like unprepared for a gender shift or i just wasn’t expecting to have a certain gender thought or feeling and i have to process it like. i still deal with that and dunno if that will ever leave but for the most part i feel a lot more at peace and have a lot more understanding of myself and queerness in general and it’s a relief.

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[akajustmerry]

Hey Merry, I hope you're doing well.

Sorry that I'm spamming you with this but could you maybe give advice to someone who's identified as a lesbian for many years but recently started questioning it? I'm really scared what would people think if I started dating a man. I feel like a fraud. Being queer is such an important aspect of my identity and also as a sa survivor it always deeply offended me when people assumed I'm only dating women bc of my past trauma. But now that I'm on the path of healing I think it's possible that I buried these feelings in myself bc of it. I'm also scared that my lgbt friends would think I don't deserve to be in the community anymore. I'm writing this to you bc I'm looking up to you in many ways and you make me believe it's ok to be bi and not in any way inferior to being gay. There are so many negative assumptions about bi people, I feel like it would be 'easier' for me to stop entertaining these thoughts and stick to this label...

If you don't feel like answering this question it's completely ok. Thank you for doing what you do (esp. gayv club) and take care. xx

hello!

i am so sorry you're struggling so much, but honestly what you're saying is really brave considering everything you've experienced and i think it's really amazing.

among many things, labels are there to help. just like any other element of ourselves they can also change over time. they're not binding contracts. they're outfits, something we can and do change when they no longer fit right. not everyone is born knowing their perfect fit. some of us take a while to find the right label. there's an attitude on this site that changing labels is bad and messy but real life is rarely so neat and one size doesn't fit all.

i'm not an sa survivor, so won't speak to the specifics of your healing, but i am really proud of how far you've come. healing and what that looks like is different for everyone. anyone with half a lick of decency would be happy for what you've discovered about yourself as you've healed. if your lgbt friends can't see that, they're probably not very good friends.

internalised biphobia and biphobia within the lgbt community is very real and i won't sugar coat that for you. there will be people who will say that your interest in men makes you less queer. these people are biphobic and are undeserving of your friendship. but rest assured there are still loads of lgbt folks who aren't biphobic. bisexuals and our experiences with gender and attraction are inherently queer. bisexuals have always been a part of lgbt movements and were at the forefront of its formation. that's a history to be proud of and a history that ties bisexuals to queer history as much as any other identity within the lgbt community.

i mean this sincerely and i know it sounds corny, but its not worth pretending to be something you aren't. ignoring yourself will make you unhappy and even if being bi is just something you personally recognise just for yourself and take your time coming out to others, that's okay. there's no wrong way to be bi, your journey is yours and the people who really care about you will be happy for you.

also, if you maybe use the bi label/try being with men, etc and find its not for you and you are actually a lesbian, that's cool too! try on all the outfits until you find one that fits. better to know than not. bi.org is a great site with tonnes of free resources to help out people questioning.

i'm really chuffed that you trust me with this question and i hope i've helped. thank you for your kind words about the pod and my work! x

[crushing-on-nico-di-angelo]

hey i know you’re a minor so dont see this as me calling you out or correcting you or anything because you didnt do anything wrong!! i just wanted to tell you to please research mogai identities and how they are harmful to the lgbt community. it sucks seeing them on my dash, especially on the first day of pride month but i’m absolutely not blaming you!!! thank you

hello! I adore this ask, thank you for sending it to me! and I'd also like to thank you for the respectful tone you used when sending this, that was very nice!!

I talk about this alot but mainly on my other blog so I can understand not knowing this, but I Am Genderflux/fluid (still figuring that out) I Am Achillean and Sapphic, and I Am a Demiboy. I'm Queer. I identify under MOGAI terms.

But trust me, I wasn't always this way. when I was 12 and 13 years old, I identified as simply a bi trans boy. I was really into the discourse surrounding people in the MOGAI community (as well as transmeds and truscum and all that). I watched Kalvin Garrah all the time. I also harbored a lot of anxiety and a small bit of depression at this time. Mainly due to other things going on in my life but partially due to the fact that I wasn't trans "the right way"

I started closer examining myself and the discourse I was into. I realized: it doesn't harm me whatsoever.

the main argument I see over MOGAI discourse is that we (the lgbt community) won't be "taken seriously" by our oppressors. if they don't take "them" seriously, it won't be hard for them to just be homophobic in general.

But why would them being homophobic or transphobic have conditions? why can't they just not be those things?

I get it, it can be frustrating seeing people not do things the right way (different topic but similar sentiment). it makes things look worse for you, or at least it feels like it does.

however, in doing my research throughout those years of my life (and still today, when I read through exclus blogs and inclus blogs), I discovered that people are going to find excuses to be homophobic etc no matter what. Nothing I do with my own identity will fix or change that.

warning, I'm about to get a little negative in this next paragraph.

They're killing us out there. we have it better in the United States than in other countries, but everywhere in the world including where I live, they're killing us. they're "converting us." Their mindset is having us kill ourselves. I have nearly lost at least half of my friends to homophobia(luckily they're all alive and well, but there were too many close calls)-- some of them you might consider mogai, some not. Homophobia discriminates against all lgbtq+ people.

I think that making sure everyone knows they're welcome is a lot better to the lgbt community than anything else that I could say to them.

I Am An Inclusionary blog. I always will be. Anyone outside the norm who either has attraction to more than just the "other" gender (or no attraction at all!!) and/or identifies as something different than their agab-- thus is a safe space for you.

again anon, thank you for the respectful tone you used. I hope I also sounded respectful in this because I honestly do understand where you're coming from. I hope you have a great day and a happy pride month

[thechekhov]

Hey, so I have a crush on someone who’s non-binary but it’s very confusing for me. I just wanted to know what your explanation of non-binary is because I’m quite confused by it and I’m not sure how to feel about liking a non-binary person? Like what sexuality would that make me, you know. For context, I’m a guy and I’ve been trying to stop liking people other than girls but it obviously ain’t working, and I’m just trying to know more about it I guess, but I don’t wanna offend them?

The fact that you want to learn more about the person you have a crush on and care about their gender enough to ask is, first of all, super kind of you. I wanted to mention that. As a non-binary person who ended up with someone who ISN’T nonbinary, let me tell you… having that person respect your identity and presentation feels like a warm blanket around your shoulders every day. 

Okay, now onwards to the actual explaining. 

I think you probably are already somewhat aware but as a general blanket idea, non-binary people are people who don’t feel like their gender identity fits within the gender binary. 

The gender binary is a word we use to refer to the two.. hm… for lack of a better word ‘traditional’ genders - men and women. 

Everyone sees it a little differently, but personally I subscribe to the theory that gender IS a social construct. That isn’t to say it’s not real - it IS. But gender is not a set standard in society. Never has been. The roles, expectations, social status of men and women across the years has always been in flux. (How does each gender dress? What is ‘expected’ of each gender? etc) And across a variety of cultures and communities, humans have always had gender identities that HAVEN’T been ‘men’ or ‘women’ but instead identified as something else - either something in-between, or something removed from that binary altogether.

Since gender is a socially constructed and maintained identity, some people DON’T fit into the ‘traditional’ parameters and prefer to define their experiences in their own way. 

What this means, simply speaking, is that you MAY have grown up, been raised in the identity of ‘boy’ - and that feels comfortable for you. You are satisfied that other people view you as a guy, you are set in this part of your identity and it (presumably) affects how you act with other people and what you expect from yourself. Maybe that means being masculine. Maybe it means being a good boyfriend to someone and cooking them meals. Maybe it means moving to the countryside and raising sheep! Who knows. 

In the case of non-binary people, this default gender they are assigned at birth (the one based on genitals) is not actually in line with their personal expectations of themselves. They don’t identify with the blanket idea of being a ‘man’ or being a ‘woman’. They don’t feel like the label of ‘man’ or ‘woman’ defines the role they want to take in society accurately. 

There’s a sort of ‘mind game’ many people use to think about gender and stuff that goes like this - “Imagine you’re a guy and you wake up tomorrow in a woman’s body. How would you feel?”

It’s meant to put you into the shoes of transgender people and make you think about how society interacts with you when your gender identity and body don’t match. And it has some value….. to an extent. 

Personally I feel that it’s more accurate to put it this way: 

Imagine you wake up tomorrow, and nothing changes. You get dressed in your regular attire and go about your day to run errands or go to work, but people keep casually referring to you as ‘Blue’ and commenting that your clothes are odd and aren’t the right color. You go into a store and people give you weird looks. Some old lady comes up to you and says ‘Why are you out in public wearing green and khaki? Don’t you know you’re giving other Blue children the wrong idea?’ 

You feel confused - you just put on a shirt that’s comfortable, and it happened to be green. Other people around you constantly talk about their assigned ‘color’ and what it means to them. You have no idea what anyone is talking about, but you quickly figure out it has something to do with your eye color being blue. You try to go along with it for a while but it ends up being exhausting. You want to wear and do things you like, you have a personal connection to, but almost everything is influenced by your being ‘Blue’. 

Colored contacts are an option, but they bother your eyes and they’re expensive - plus if someone noticed you wearing them, they tend to get violent. Some people even suggest that if you don’t identify as blue, you could get eye surgery and change your eyes to green or brown. But you don’t want that either - it’s dangerous, and besides, you ultimately feel that none of these colors fit you, specifically. 

This is kind of a metaphor, as I’m sure you guessed, but it’s what I’ve personally felt like since I was a young child. I’m agender (part of the nonbinary crew) and I personally have NO idea what the fuck gender feelings are about. I know people HAVE them - I know people care about gender a LOT. People have tried to get me to adhere to the standards of my assigned gender since I was little and have been emotionally devastated on my behalf when puberty did not ‘gender me up’ as much as had been expected. And despite all this, I feel no sense of belonging to either of the binary gender roles. If I woke up tomorrow in a body with completely different genitals I wouldn’t give a single shit beyond the obvious logistics of like… having to change information on my driver’s license. I would feel absolutely no more ‘at home’ than I currently do. 

Your non-binary crush MAY or MAY NOT experience the world this way. Maybe they have different feelings about it. Thinking ‘this person doesn’t want to be identified as a man or a woman’ is a good place to start, but it’s not the end-all-be-all.

So what does that mean for your sexuality?

Well, that’s up to you! If you’re worried about not being straight, that’s fair (I feel like that’s honestly a given in a society that STILL associates non-straightness with a variety of negative stereotypes). But remember - just because you’re attracted to a non-binary person doesn’t mean to HAVE to reinvent yourself. You’re still you, you still have the same preferences - you maybe just discovered that your attraction scope is a bit wider than you thought. 

You can define your identity in a variety of ways - straight with some exceptions, bi-curious, pansexual... I know many people jump to say ‘if you’re in a relationship with a non-binary person that relationship is already NOT STRAIGHT, YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT’ but I personally see no positive benefits to defining people’s relationships for them.

I’d gather that for the time being, the best thing to do is to keep getting to know your crush - not as a gender, but as a person! See what they’re into, see what they like - how they like to spend time, what they prefer to be called, what they want out of life. Don’t focus on their gender unless they want you to. If and when the time comes to discuss your attraction and define it, then you can ask them to help you figure it out. :) 

Unfortunately necessary disclaimer: As I’ve mentioned, all things here are my own personal experiences, and are not meant to be statements defining of the community. If you disagree with how I parse gender, feel free to make your own post and explain YOUR ideas! Please be kind in the comments - we’re all just trying to make it to the end of the decade. :) 

[lemystical-puffle]

My A3 Sexuality Headcanons that no one asked for!

[These won’t include Gender, only sexual orientation or lack thereof(is that a phrase?)]

Color coordination

Gay

Bi

Pan

Aro

Hetero

Sakuya Sakuma: Pansexual! He doesn’t have any preferences, honestly after his childhood he just wants someone who will love and accept him!

Masumi: Bisexual. I feel like he would love the director whether they be boy, girl, other, all, he just wants someone to give him attention, and that person just happened to be out beloved Izumi Tachibana.

Tsuzuru: okay this ones me projecting but whatever Aro/Ace Tsuzuru. He doesn’t feel romantic attraction, and instead just feels a family-brotherly kind of love towards his friends and fellow actors. He doesn’t really want to romantically be with someone, and yet instead just wants to be there for them when they need it and love them the same way he loves his family at home

Citron: Also pan!! But Pan-Romantic specifically. Citron literally just wants to love everyone ever because he’s just awesome like that, but won’t go pass kissing someone. It just makes him uncomfortable which is perfectly fine because he is Citron Lastname! But yeah, also no gender prefermance

Itaru: Bi with a male preference. I can’t really explain why I think this, I just do. Maybe because most of the woman he has ever shown interest in are his 2D anime waifus. Also I mean come on he totally had a whole thing for Lancelot he thinks knights are hot and that is so valid.

Chikage: he is a gay cabbage. Listen the only time he has said he liked a woman it was because he said they weren’t like his mom and I am just- I’m sorry I don’t trust that. This man is a gay, he is never had a boyfriend but he has definitely thought of hooking up with his boss for a raise, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Tenma: Also bi! Bi-Ace specifically. I wasn’t really sure where to put him because on one hand I feel like he has a lot of MLM energy but on the other hand his solo song so I just, bi. I feel like his gay awakening came when he played the token gay best friend in a romcom because gay actor erasure but Tenma didn’t really understand, but later he was in a scene where he was with his boyfriend who shows up for one second to remind the audience he’s a homosexual and Tenma was just: crap he’s not

Yuki: okay at first I didn’t know what to put for Yuki cause on one hand sexuality erasure Yuki has specifically said he likes girl and he defies stereotypes and stuff but on the other hand he never said he didn’t like boys so he’s bi with a female preference. I feel like Yuki is the kind of guy to just happen to fall in love with whoever and just go “oh crap did I just fall in love?” And while he likes girls more sometimes it just. Happens.

Muku: Surprise surprise he’s Pan! Muku totally reads shoujo manga with all sexualities and is very livid about good representation, will write a “negative review” (and in Muku terms that’s him being very polite, 4.5/5 stars and linking research resources) about how inaccurate a sexuality was portrayed. I feel like at first he just thought he was a very active ally and now he is just: “oh crap boys. And girls. And enbys. And genderfluids. And everyone.”

Misumi: Misumi is very homosexual, which at first he was sad about because homosexual has 2 o’s which are circles but then he realized he can just say gay but spell it like: G🔺Y so he got happy again. I feel like it was one of the reasons he was kicked out of his home, he just likes boys Jeez Ikaruga parents no rights. (I also Headcanon him as autistic but that’s not what this post is about).

Kazunari: In Kazunari Miyoshi’s world he never has to make a decision in his life and that includes sexuality. Show him a guy and a girl and tell him to pick one and he will simply overload until he picks the person who knows the most trivia on classical art or smthing. Kazunari just: adores everyone ever, and that’s okay! After a lot of internalized homophobia and fear, he was able to come out to first a small group of college friends and eventually felt comfortable with the label and was able to express it openly, now he wears it with pride!

Kumon: I really don’t have any explaining to go here, Kumon just feels gay to me. My head can’t wrap around him wanting to be intimate with a girl. I do think there was this big moment of him coming out to Juza and Juza just going “s’okay.” Then they hug and get ice cream

Banri: Banri is bisexual with a straight pride flag and a Juza Preference. Catch him at the straight pride parade telling “those Homo’s that they’re going to burn.” While making out with Juza against a wall. That’s canon I don’t take criticism

Juza: Also Gay, I feel like Kumon came out first and Juza did research and was like “oh me too.” And just thought about how he’s never actually liked a girl and thought boys were kinda pretty and oh crap Settsu slicked his hair back oh crap oh crap pretty men.

Taichi: Taichi is bisexual, with his preferences being as random as his hair. Except no weird 1/4 quarters going on. Idk where I was going with that analogy I’m sorry. Taichi just likes the humans and wants to go kiss kiss with them all, and then bring them along on his journey for fame and popularity!

Omi: Listen, Omi is the mother of Mankai, and as the mother he loves everyone unconditionally. He also totally wanted to kiss Nachi I’m sorry. I feel like Omi has a male preference, but only by a bit as he loves everyone! He is a good boy and brings all the snacks and water to the pride parades so his friends stay healthy :)

Sakyo: Sakyo is the straight~ supportive dad who doesn’t care if you’re gay straight bi pan anything as long as you pay your taxes. Was probably a little confused at first just because. Probably said “LGBT? Isn’t that a sandwich.” But he got informed did research and is now a huge ally! After more research he identifies specifically as graysexual/romantic as he feels rarely any romantic attraction at all unless under certain circumstances aka Izumi Tachibana. I akso think he suspected that Azami was LGBT for a bit before he came out so he wanted to do research so that Azami would feel comfortable coming out when he was ready. Also he can’t like, not support Sakoda (who I Headcanon as gay :) )

Azami: Azami is bi-aro. Sex? Nah he won’t even hold your hand before marriage, however he will love you no matter your gender. I also see him with a female preference just from his straight upbringing and it’s the title he feels most comfortable with after some internalized homophobia, especially with how his dad shamed him for liking makeup. He is still getting used to the LGBT community and I feel like he is still taking baby steps, learning about different identities and wanting to do all he can to support both himself and his fellow actors due to simply not knowing where to start. Don’t worry Azami take you’re time! There is no rush, you are trying to figure yourself out and we all love you so much for it, there is no shame in changing your mind later. We adore you all the same. (If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t only talking to Azami. If you are still questioning yourself it is 100% okay, because honestly I am too. There is no rush to figure yourself out, and I hope you know that we are all here for you!)

Tsumugi: Tsumugi is gay, but I feel like he also had a lot of internalized homophobia. I feel like when he was younger he really liked Tasuku but didn’t really understand the difference between platonic and romantic, and it took some time before he was able to really discover himself and come to the identity he has currently.

Tasuku: Tasuku is gay and homophobic.

Hisoka: Hisoka is homo-demi-romantic asexual. I feel like it won’t want to date anyone without really earning their trust and feeling safe around them, and after that point he still will be pretty shy romantically, but it is very much understandable and we all still love Hisoka

Homare: Homare is pan. He doesn’t really care about gender, he just wants someone who will love him and his poetry without seeing him as broken. I feel like after his last relationship he was hesitant to date again, but after some time and help from the rest of winter troupe he was able to rediscover himself. (Also autistic Homare go brrrr)

Azuma: Azuma is an old gay man who just thinks boobs are neat. That’s it that’s the post sent tweet turn off replies.

Guy: New color who this? This is because I didn’t know what to put for Guy, so he simply doesn’t identify as anything. I don’t know a lot about Guy but I know enough to feel like relationships would be very awkward and touchy for him due to his problems with emotions and expression. He isn’t straight, but he doesn’t really identify as anything either. He’s just: Guy. Which is more than valid

[oh also all of winter is Poly and they’re boyfriends thanks for coming to my Ted talk]

Hope you all liked these! Of course they are all my own opinion and you don’t have to agree with all, they’re just how I feel!! Feel free to reply or reblog with your own opinions or Headcanons!!

[ravenadottir]

original characters: ❝juno❞

who are they? henrik’s little sister

where can i find them? “beyond the hill” on ao3

❝character’s details❞

🌿 name: juno bergström

🌿 birthday: november 4th, 1999

🌿 astrological sign: scorpio

🌿 hometown: isle of wight

🌿 gender: female

🌿 sexuality: bisexual

🌿 languages: english//swedish

🌿 religion: agnostic

🌿 ethnicity: caucasian

🌿occupation: student

🌿 height: 5′9′’//1,75

🌿 body type: slender

🌿 hair texture//color: wavy, 2b // blonde

🌿 eye color: green

🌿 style: loves sweatshirts and jeans // graphic t’s and light color tops // sneakers all the time // comfortable for the most part, cute by default

🌿 music: "from headbanging to twerking, i honestly just want to have fun. whenever i have to study lo-fi is the only thing i have in my ears every day until my tests.”

🌿 movie genres: comedies // coming of age // lgbtq+

🌿 dogs or cats? dogs!

🌿favorite food: “i’m vegan, but not a rabbit, so don’t expect me to eat some fucking salad, yeh? i love pizza and burritos.”

🌿 tv shows: dr. who, umbrella academy, stranger things.

🌿 vices//coping: pot

🌿 to relax: “if i can just sit on the rocks and watch the waves i can relax for good. music helps, but being alone works the best.”

🌿 sports: surfing // climbing // football // volleyball

🌿 her type: “someone who understands i have to have my space, who respects other people’s choices and individuality. if someone can’t do that, i honestly don’t waste my time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

❝brief history❞

🌿 juno and henrik grew up climbing trees, hills, mountains. anything that was high enough to climb.

🌿 their parents were vets, so they were used to bringing stray animals home all the time and help out on the healing process.

🌿 juno doesn’t know what career she wants to follow. henrik suggested she should be a biologist, but she’s still divided between marine and lab.

🌿 she discovered she’s bi when she was 11, thanks to a crush on a biology teacher. “that woman really changed my life for good.”

🌿 when their parents passed away, she and henrik spent a whole week sleeping on the backyard. they couldn’t enter the house and see how empty it looked without their mom and dad.

🌿 juno still drives her mom’s car everywhere, finding it difficult to let go. henrik didn’t want to keep it since their mom and juno spent the most time together on road trips with “just the girls”.

model: ???

[virgofem]

What would you do if your butch realized they were actually a man? The person I’m in love with identified as butch until recently when they discovered that they’re a trans man. I’m a lesbian but I’m still in love with them and I’m so confused

At this point in our relationship and life together it wouldn't really change anything for me. We've talked about this a lot and like... Sure it would mean I would technically identify as bi then, but there's no way I would wanna break up just because I've always been a lesbian and that's an identity that's felt like home for me. We both agree that it wouldn't really change the dynamic of our relationship anyway. They would go on T and get their breasts removed, but honestly that's something they might do anyway at some point in life. I don't think my butch realizing they're trans would change anything with regards to if I find men in general attractive either.

People on this site are VERY adamant about hating the sort of narrative that someone could be an exception to your attraction, but like... This is not that uncommon in real life lmao. There's plenty of lesbian couples where one of the partners has realized they actually identify as a man instead. Some of them break up because the other person is first and foremost a lesbian I suppose and can't feel attracted to their partner as their appearance/behavior or their dynamic maybe changes. Then there's people like me for whom it's really like, ok whatever lol, you're still my person.

Maybe ask yourself this: does it actually matter what gender that spesific person is? If you're still in love with them, does it matter that "oh but I'm a lesbian I'm not attracted to men"? You don't have to suddenly find all men attractive, it's probably even likely you won't, but you might also realize you do find other men attractive too. There's nothing wrong with that either. Don't get too caught up with identity politics and boxes. I love my little high fem lesbian box a lot, but real life is more complicated than abstract concepts of attraction. I'm keen to argue that there's also lots of hidden biphobia involved too, but that's another conversation and I don't mean to downplay anyone's confusion about their own life and identity.

You could also really just kinda take it day by day - if you start feeling like you're not in love with your partner anymore after they maybe start transitioning etc, that's fine too. I would really urge you to talk to your partner about these feelings too and see how they feel about your relationship etc. It's okay to be confused and even scared, too. Sometimes these things change the relationship in a way that it doesn't feel like home anymore, and that's okay. It doesn't change the fact that you had a good time together. You can also take a little time to think on things if need be, and your partner should be supportive of that. Don't worry so much, it's all gonna be okay. Things might not go the way you thought they would, but that's not always a bad thing.

[moghedien]

Could you recommend some adult sff? Love your blog btw!

Thank you! 

And ok, I could give you better personalized recs if you give me some idea of what you’re looking for or what you like, but I’m gonna give you some general recommendations. Also I only really feel comfortable recommending books that I have personally read, and there are tons more out there than what I have read. If you want to find more, looking at recent Hugo nominations over the past few years might be helpful. Also one of the reasons why I know anything at all about the SFF world is that I’ve been listening to the Sword and Laser podcast for like, a decade. I never really mention that podcast, but its literally why I started reading at all and also they have a pretty active goodreads group as well. 

So recommendations: 

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie: 

This is one of my favorite books period. This is a far future space opera about an artificial intelligence who used to be a spaceship and now is only one human body, and she is ANGRY ABOUT that. I don’t really want to say more than that, but if you like AI shenanigans and being sorta confused as to what is going on the entire time, then this is the book for you! It’s the first book in a completed trilogy.

The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan: 

Obviously I’m gonna recommend the Wheel of Time. This is the first book in a 14 (actually 15) book series and if you need something to do with the next 1-5 years of your life *motions toward EoTW*. 

So the Eye of the World, I think is uniquely good as a book if you kinda want to get into adult fantasy for a few reasons. For one thing, its kinda considered to be one of those “classics” of the genre but its not too old to be offputting to some readers. It’s a 30 year old book, so its not reflective of the genre now, but you can definitely see its influence all the place, even outside of just books. The Eye of the World specifically, also goes out of its way to make readers comfortable. It leans heavy on Tolkien references and tropes at first without being a straight up copy of Lord of the Rings like some classic fantasy books are. Its done very purposefully, in my opinion, to make the reader feel like they have some idea of what’s going on, and the series quickly drops the Tolkien references as soon as its established itself enough. 

Also the Gandalf parallel for the series is a smol bi lady and there is 24 year old rage healer who wants to fight everyone with her own two fists.So many women to stan. 

Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey

This is the first book of the Expanse, which is a nearish future space opera that takes place in our solar system. Mars has long ago been colonized and is a completely separate government entity than Earth, and conflict between the two planets has been stirring. The Asteroid Belt has also been colonized and have long been little more than tools of corporations that run their colonies. A group of ice haulers working in the outer planets get in the middle of one of the biggest secrets in the solar system and find themselves in all kinds of trouble. 

I don’t really want to say more than this, but this is probably the only SF series that I actively keep up on when a new book comes out. There are 8 books our currently, and the 9th and final book will be out sometime in the near future. There are also several short stories and novellas set in the world, and there’s a TV show that I really like though I need to catch up on it. 

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin

Hello, this book comes with content warnings for literally everything, but it is such a good book/trilogy. This is book about a woman trying to find her daughter again in the middle of the apocalypse. Definitely a heavy read but absolutely brilliant. The world has a magic system based on geology and the people that can use that magic....saying they’re discriminated against is an understatement. I don’t want to say much more about it, but if you have any kind of content you can’t read for whatever reason, I’d check before picking this up. This is the first book in a completed trilogy

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

So this isn’t really super SF heavy and is actually sold as a literary book, but it takes place after a flu pandemic has wiped out a large portion of the population...so maybe this is a bad time to read this book, OR its the best time to read it. Depends on how you’re dealing with *motions at the world*

The book flashes back to before and during the pandemic a lot, but is largely about art’s importance and is actually quite optimistic in its messaging, and this is another of my favorite books ever. But yeah, might be a bad time for you to read it of you can’t deal with the content now. 

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon 

I just remembered that this book also has a plague, but its a subplot and not the major thing. So this is a big ol’ chonky standalone book that is high fantasy, deals with multiple cultures having to interact and work together, and has dragons. Also there’s a genunine slow burn f/f romance and *chef’s kiss*. I can’t really say much else, mostly because I struggle to explain this book, but its very good and probably my favorite book from last year. 

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal 

In this house we stan Mary Robinette Kowal, ok? 

So this is a science fiction that is more an alternate history that poses the question, hey, what would have happened if an asteroid slammed into the east coast in 1952 and the world had to scramble to colonize Mars so that everyone didn’t die on earth when the climate got catastrophic, because that’s the inciting action of the book. The main character is a Jewish woman who was a WASP pilot in WW2 and is a computer for the space program when all this happens. The book deals with sexism, and racism, and xenophobia, and all the social issues that are gonna come up with it being set in 1952, but Mary Robinette doesn’t flinch away from addressing social issues in any of her books, even when it makes her main characters look bad. (Also if you like Pride and Prejudice, she has a series that is just Pride and Prejudice with magic and like, yeah, its good). 

A Natural History of Dragons by Marie Brennan

This is a book which poses a question, what if dragons were like weird animals that were real and an eccentric woman spent her entire life traveling the world to study them and then told the stories of that in her memoirs when she was too old to care about the consequences of publishing all her scandals. That’s what the book is about. This one is probably actually the weakest in the series, just because it deals with so much set up. It’s a great series to get on audio because Kate Reading is a fantastic narrator, and the prose works so well as audio, because it’s just someone telling you her life story. There are five books in the series. 

All Systems Red by Martha Wells

So this is a novella and is the first in the murderbot series. Basically a killer robot gets addicted to television shows and accidentally became sentient. I haven’t read the others in the series, but I really need to reread this one and get to the others. 

Jade City by Fonda Lee

This is a fantasy set in world sorta inspired by the early 1900s but is in a fantasy world. It’s like a mafia movie and kung fu movie had a baby and it was this book. The sequel is out currently, but the third book is set to release next year.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon 

This is another heavy read. This is a SF story set on a generation ship that has a society very heavily inspired by the antebellum south. There’s class issues, race issues, gender issues, mental health issues. All kinds of things intersecting here. Its fantastic, but a heavy read.

Assassin’s Apprentice by Robin Hobb

This is another fantasy classic, and is the first of the Farseer Trilogy. The title is sort of also a description of the book, so like. I’m not sure what else I can say. I haven’t read further into the series, but people I trust love it, and honestly I need to reread this and read more of the books. 

Doomsday Book by Connie Willis

So if you think that Station Eleven might be a bad book to read at the time, then this is THE WORST POSSIBLE BOOK TO READ RIGHT NOW. Or, maybe the best. Depends on how you cope. This is a book about time travelers based in Oxford and the main character accidentally gets stranded in the past right as the Black Plague is about to hit. And it hits. The book is horrific. The second book in the series is much funnier. This one ain’t funny, but is good. Just, oof. 

Mistborn or Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson

So if you want to get into the Cosmere, which is a series of series that interconnect and will ruin your life, then then my personal opinion is to either start with Mistborn or Warbreaker. People might not agree with me, but that’s my personal opinion. 

Warbreaker is currently a standalone (a sequel will come out eventually but its not set up for a sequel so you can 100% read it as a standalone). The magic in this world is based on colors, and the story revolves around two sisters. One of them is betrothed to the horrific God King of their neighboring kingdom. The other sister ends up being sent in her place because their dad hates her. I adore Warbreaker so much. It has it all. Two women discovering their true places on the prep/goth spectrum. Talking swords. Vivenna. Everything you can need right there. 

Mistborn is a trilogy that is very emo and will ruin you. Its about people who swallow metal to get magic powers and live in world where the dark lord won already, so they’re all emo. And that was the worst description of Mistborn I ever could have written, but I find it too funny to change. 

So if you’re interested in the Cosmere, but are afraid to commit long term, pick up Warbreaker. If you want to get into a series right away, pick up Mistborn. 

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

"In retrospect, you could say I was beginning to question things.

But then it was 2018, and a couple of things happened. First, Love, Simon came out in March, which was one of the most electrifying, unforgettable, truly extraordinary experiences of my life. But having your book adapted to a film brings a lot of notoriety and attention, especially online, and it’s not always the fun kind. Unsurprisingly, there was quite a bit of discourse about my identity — how could there not be? Love, Simon was the first gay teen rom com to be released widely by a major film studio, and it was based on a book written by an allocishet woman. Yes, the film’s director was openly gay. No, not everyone cared (frankly, a lot of people still don’t know Love, Simon was based on a book). But in many online spaces, my straightness was a springboard for some — legitimately important — conversations about representation, authenticity, and ownership of stories. And for some people, my straightness was enough to boycott the film entirely.

Then Leah on the Offbeat came out about a month later, and the discourse exploded all over again. There were thinkpieces based on the premise that I, a straight woman, clearly knew nothing about being a bi girl. There were tweets and threads and blog posts, and just about every single one I came across mentioned my straightness. And when Leah debuted on the NYT list, authors I admired and respected tweeted their disappointment that this “first” had been taken by a straight woman. Of course, Leah wasn’t the first f/f YA book to hit the New York Times list. And maybe people were wrong about the other stuff too. But the attention and scrutiny were so overwhelming, and it all hurt so badly, I slammed the lid down on that box and forgot I’d ever cracked it open.

At least I didn’t remember I remembered.

I deleted the sexuality labels from my website. I declined to answer certain questions in interviews. I’d get quietly, passionately indignant when people made assumptions about other authors’ gender identities and sexualities. And I’d feel uncomfortable, anxious, almost sick with nerves every time they discussed mine.

And holy shit, did people discuss. To me, it felt like there was never a break in the discourse, and it was often searingly personal. I was frequently mentioned by name, held up again and again as the quintessential example of allocishet inauthenticity. I was a straight woman writing shitty queer books for the straights, profiting off of communities I had no connection to.

Because the thing is, I called myself straight in a bunch of early interviews.

But labels change sometimes. That’s what everyone always says, right? It’s okay if you’re not out. It’s okay if you’re not ready. It’s okay if you don’t fully understand your identity yet. There’s no time limit, no age limit, no one right way to be queer.

And yet a whole lot of these very same people seemed to know with absolute certainty that I was allocishet. And the less certain I was, the more emphatically strangers felt the need to declare it. Apparently it was obvious from my writing. Simon’s fine, but it was clearly written by a het. You can just tell. Her books aren’t really for queer people.

You know what’s a mindfuck? Questioning your sexual identity in your thirties when every self-appointed literary expert on Twitter has to share their hot take on the matter. Imagine hundreds of people claiming to know every nuance of your sexuality just from reading your novels. Imagine trying to make space for your own uncertainty. Imagine if you had a Greek chorus of internet strangers propping up your imposter syndrome at every stage of the process.

The thing is, I really do believe in the value of critically discussing books, particularly when it comes to issues of representation. And I believe in the vital importance of Ownvoices stories. Most of the identities represented in my books are Ownvoices. But I don’t think we, as a community, have ever given these discussions the care and nuance they deserve.

Consider the origin of the Ownvoices hashtag. It was created in 2015 by author Corinne Duyvis, with the purpose of highlighting stories written by authors who share the same marginalized identities as their characters. But Corinne has always emphasized caution when it comes to using Ownvoices to determine which authors can tell which stories. And she’s been incredibly clear and emphatic about not weaponizing the term to pressure authors to disclose private aspects of their identities.

So why do we keep doing this? Why do we, again and again, cross the line between critiquing books and making assumptions about author identities? How are we so aware of invisible marginalization as a hypothetical concept, but so utterly incapable of making space for it in our community?

Let me be perfectly clear: this isn’t how I wanted to come out. This doesn’t feel good or empowering, or even particularly safe. Honestly, I’m doing this because I’ve been scrutinized, subtweeted, mocked, lectured, and invalidated just about every single day for years, and I’m exhausted. And if you think I’m the only closeted or semi-closeted queer author feeling this pressure, you haven’t been paying attention.

And I’m one of the lucky ones! I’m a financially independent adult. I can’t be disowned. I come from a liberal family, I have an enormous network of queer friends and acquaintances, and my livelihood isn’t even remotely at risk. I’m hugely privileged in more ways than I can count. And this was still brutally hard for me. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for other closeted writers, and how unwelcome they must feel in this community.

Even as I write this, I’m bracing for the inevitable discourse — I could draft the twitter threads myself if I wanted to. But I’d rather just make a few things really clear. First, this isn’t an attempt to neutralize criticism of my books, and you’re certainly entitled to any reactions you might have had to their content. Second, I’m not asking you to validate my decision to write Simon (or What If It’s Us, or mlm books in general).

But if I can ask for something, it’s this: will you sit for a minute with the discomfort of knowing you may have been wrong about me? And if your immediate impulse is to scrutinize my personal life, my marriage, or my romantic history, can you try to check yourself?

Or how about this: can we all be a bit more careful when we engage in queer Ownvoices discourse? Can we remember that our carelessness in these discussions has caused real harm? And that the people we’re hurting rarely have my degree of privilege or industry power? Can we make space for those of us who are still discovering ourselves? Can we be a little more compassionate? Can we make this a little less awful for the next person?

Can you tell I’m angry? Because I’m angry.

But I’m grateful, too, for those of you who understood the hidden (and not-so-hidden) threads of my books before I did. I’m grateful for the writer whose vulnerability made all of this finally click into place for me. And the ones who put their hearts on the line to hold space for people like me. And the ones who made me feel like I was allowed to care about this. And, of course, I’m grateful for the books. Some of you have no idea how much your words have helped me find mine.

Anyway, all of this is to say: I’m bi. Sorry it took me so long to get here. But then again, at least the little red coming out book I needed was already on my shelf (in about thirty different languages).

I think I finally know why I wrote it."

author Becky Albertalli ("Love, Simon", "Leah On The Offbeat") on her coming out process and the harsh criticism she had to face for he books (whole article here)

I think this perfectly illustrates why we, as a community, should stop assuming other people's identity