#discord told me to post this so i guess i'm doing this now

[raphaerolo]

Somewhere out there there's a codywan au where he's a surfer and he works at a frozen banana stand. and uh... yeah. Enter me.

Episode ?: Heatstroke

Obi-Wan overheated in the banana costume and also he saw a hot man and who can blame him

[voonroo]

Hell? [01]

⌐‣Hazbin Hotel + Bat-Like Teen Reader

Want more? Check out the masterlist↩︎

Want to chat? Check out my discord server↩︎

AUTHOR’S NOTE: YOOOOO SHOUT OUT TO @blueberrymuffin-6 FOR BEING THE FIRST PERSON TO GUESS THAT READER WOULD BE LIKE A BAT!!! I'm so happy someone picked up on my hints. I'm really excited to post this chapter considering how much love the first one got😭 THANK YOU GUYS SM FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT THE HAZBIN FANDOM HAS SHOWN FOR MY TEEN READER WRITINGS💝

Also I can't guarantee that there won't be triggering subjects in the future chapters!! There's nothing of that here yet and I will put warning when needed but you’ll only find something this chapter if you REALLY look.

I'd love to hear from you guys your speculations as well!! Send them through my inbox or contact me in discord!! I love interacting with you guys!!

My head hurts…

Am I lying down?

Is it raining?

Opening your eyes, you were met with a dull light to your right, everything else was dark. Rubbing your eyes, you groggily sat up.

You could see, but the light to your right was actually making it hard… You felt a light weight on your head and slight pain in your back. You looked down, you had… fur?

Taking deep breaths, you closed your eyes. You could hear everything so well. From the sound of your heart, to the rain outside.

Where am I?

How did I get here?

Considering that you couldn't remember anything, you felt strangely calm. Like a blanket was over your head and you were blocking out the world around you.

The rain was nice… soft blankets, a plushie? What was it...? It was dark? I had a flashlight, a book? And whatever the plushie was…

A sudden knock interrupted your thoughts. The noise caught you so off guard you physically jumped, you tried to look at the door as you heard the knob turning.

“Oh! You're awake!” You heard a quick patter of footsteps coming in your direction, before a blob entered your vision- or what little vision you had anyway. You couldn't make out the shape in front of you, even with your eyes wide open. There was… red? Or maybe pink? You couldn't tell. Your eyes darted around, and your breathing picked up.

“Hey now- You're all tense! What are you anyways?” The blog had a cheery voice, rather high-pitched. It hurt your ears. You could feel a small hand grab at your arm- rubbing the fur.

“Nifty!” Another sudden noise made you jump. Your body tensing up in a panic. You couldn't hear the rain anymore even if it was so close… You could only hear your heart beating quickly and your uneven breathing.

Then, there were hands cupping your face, a calm, quiet voice accompanying it.

“Hey, calm down.” On instinct, you took a deep breath. Were you holding your breath before? Or were you breathing too rapidly? Where were you again? Sitting up right? Wait- it's raining… that's right… it's raining.

“Are you okay?” The voice to the hands cupping your cheeks spoke again. You could barely focus your eyes enough to see more than just gray. Did the voice have a… wait- the voice asked me a question-

“I-I can't see…” You almost didn't recognize your own voice. It came out so quietly, hardly audible.

You could have sworn you saw the gray blob furrow their eyebrows.

“What's your name?”

“I don't… I don't know?”

The calm the voice was deemed Vaggie.

Vaggie described herself as having long grey hair, grey skin- which you initially found weird- and a pink X over her left eye.

Vaggie told you that the loud, almost squeaky voice that you first heard was Nifty. She also told you where you were and what had happened for you to be here.

You had previously run into one of their friends named… Angel Dust? And apparently, passed out? Then he brought you here, and… here is… I don't remember…

You do remember Vaggie telling you that there were other people here and they were made aware of your existence as well.

Vaggie was also kind enough to explain that you were in hell… she also took the creative liberties in describing to you what you looked like.

“Well… You did take on the appearance of a bat- which is normal, it's normal for people to take on animal-like appearances in hell. For instance, we have someone here who takes on deer antlers and someone who has fur like you but looks like a cat… But you have these ears above your head, small wing protruding from your back, and… foggy eyes-”

The two of you spent time making the connections. The big bat-like ears atop your head gave you really good hearing, and the wings on your back were the cause of your back pain, (and the fact that you had been lying on them) and your foggy eyes contributed to your lack of sight. You took on the appearance of a bat.

The two of you tried to answer Vaggie’s earlier question from before about your name, but to no avail. She had to force you to stop trying to figure it out when you started getting worked up. You did come to the conclusion that you were very young- at least very young to be in hell. Guessing that you were around 15 years of age. Maybe a little younger or maybe a little older, but it felt right enough.

Or maybe you guys had settled on that answer as you dozed back off. The rain hadn't let up and with all this new information to really process, Vaggie let you rest. The clock was growing near to striking morning anyways.

Word Count: 817

A/N: I've also made the tag #voonroo’s bat-like reader for you guys to use as well if you make any posts on it!!

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao) for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 24, 2023]

[e-rated-beardo]

Do we need another voice added to the conversation about The Thing? I guess it can't hurt.

I have about every feeling on Earth. I'm frustrated it's going to be shorter than we thought. I'm wary, because we've all learnt this year that a green light can be un-green-lit with no warning. I'm so relieved they've removed That Guy. I'm relieved we're getting something. I'm angry that That Guy had to secretly be a shit (judging from the info I have) which has caused all this bloody anxiety for all of us IN ADDITION to the actual proper shit things he's done to others in the past (given the info I have) and that his shittiness is going to sully people's enjoyment of this thing in big or small ways. I'm cautiously optimistic that we might get something faster, because fewer minutes means quicker work, maybe. I'm worried (as I always was) that it isn't going to be what I've hoped for. I'm frustrated that it's still so very quiet in media regarding what That Guy has done and mildly worried his ex-fans might never know a lot of things that might have led to closure.

I've never been in fandom before this and I have a vague understanding of how lucky I am that this was the one that sucked me in. I'm told not all fandoms are created equal. This one is a bloody marvel. A real fucking marvel. I'm not talking about the art and writing (which are just fantastic like I can't believe), but about how last night I first read The News in a Discord server and thus had other fans Feeling All The Feelings around me right from the start; how I went on Tumblr and found the early discussions and shock and complicated emotions from people whose handles mean something to me, and how I went on Reddit and saw other people gif-screaming in frustration while simultaneously trying to comfort each other. This is such a wholesome place. HOW is this such a wholesome place. Can we keep cultivating this? All of this? Keep welcoming the randos posting on Tumblr about experiencing the Final Fifteen for the first time with avalanches of emoji hearts and fanfic? Keep patiently explaining and re-explaining new and confusing news to commenters who haven't heard all of them yet? Keep showing strangers how to code on AO3 or how to be a lovely fanfic reader or introduce them to the metas people thought up in 2015 or encourage them to post their own loving, scrunckly first art piece and give them love and appreciation for it?

We've Had A Fucking Moment Year, haven't we? And somehow, as an overall experience, to me, this has been an absolute GOOD. Because there's a whole bloody world of other obsessed folks around me now, feeling the same conflicted feelings as I do, largely speaking, and mulling them over in open blogs and private servers and fanfics and comics and DMs.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. (Or more than half of you, more likely. We're not Hobbiton.) I really like y'all, anyway. You're neat. Can we be frembs? ❤️

If you want a little comfort fanfic escapism, I'm told this 7k-word, E-rated silliness I made once is a balm for S2-related wounds. (There's a podfic of it, too.) This thread on GOAD cropped up with great timing yesterday and is full of people's comfort fic recs. There's tons more of this everywhere. This fandom, man. This fandom. 🖤🤍

[sucuretcannelle]

Let me reinforce this cuz I THINK y'all lost the plot, and I don't like people ASSUMING what I'm thinking. That shit is weird, just ask instead of making theories

I'm not hating on Rose cuz I'm racist (I'm black) transphobic (im pangender) or for any reason like that. It's not prejudice. STOP just calling people that stuff when they don't support Rose, it's weird

It's ALSO not because I have a parasocial relationship with kab. I don't give a doggystyle damn, I don't know them, they don't know me. What we do know is that kab is another human being, right? Okay

Insulting your employer BEFORE you get a job, while you're in the fandom— just seems like a waste of energy. Sorry the stuff from the private discord got leaked 🤷‍♀️ it's the internet, that happens. I was upset BEFORE I saw that stuff. The stuff that was sent on Tumblr alone was already rude, and again, being that angry over something you can calmly talk about with another fan shouldn't be that hard. Speaking that harshly, knowing that you are now associated with the creator (I mean this is why people are told to not post anything that may be seen as unprofessional on their accounts when they have a job...it's not abnormal) can start some outrage

Hiring a sensitivity reader that's already in the fandom— might not be the best idea either. 🤷‍♀️ Weird but I mean, there's worse I guess??? Well we found out the outcome lol so it is pretty bad

We weren't mad that it was kab that was being talked to harshly, but people are upset that rose is STAYING after what was said. That's why we're mad at kab. People don't want someone with that attitude touching a game that they're funding or supporting. It's that simple I promise you don't have to reach 😭

[harsh-lites]

backshots here

(aka horny after stream shenanigans between damien and f!reader)

meme made by @haasmaxxing

an 18+ damien au headcanon made with all the naughty ideas my twitter chat group and i shared inspired by that one time damien said “backshot” unprompted during his recent Sunday stream 😀

i can't believe had enough spare time to do all of this 😭 enjoy, i guess

(full hc under the cut!)

“backhand blades, backshot blades. s-sorry. we can all forget that that happened”

although damien shyly told his twitch stream audience to forget whatever he said as he was picking the weapons for his elden ring character to use, he knows they’ll certainly never forget the events that transpired a little after the stream a few days prior.

after last thursday’s stream had ended, damien got to relax a bit from the interaction. this was when he would usually set down his equipment - he'd turn off the camera, give the harsh lights a break, and take down the green screen to keep for another stream.

as he unrolled the green screen, he found you waiting at the doorway to his surprise.

you asked him how he was feeling now that the stream is over. "feeling a bit fatigued," he replied, "but i'm curious to see what you've been up to!"

(gentle reminder btw that this is set in an au where damien didnt end up sick with covid post con shhhhhhh)

that's funny, you thought. "i'm glad you said that, because i do have a proposition."

"okay... i'm all ears."

"there's not a lot to do on a sunday, right?"

"this sunday? no, not really. why"

"i've been thinking about having some of the free time today to ourselves."

eventually, damien detected hints of teasing and playfulness in your tone. "yeah, sounds like a great idea." a smirk forms across his lips, and that lit up the flame inside you.

that flame in you somehow increased in intensity as he leaned to touch the bare skin that hasnt been covered by your oversized shirt - you have yet to tell him that you weren't wearing anything else underneath.

"so, what's your plan?" he whisperes into your ear

"we could start here, perhaps," you answered. the tension between you and damien is so sharp, it could cut a big block of paper clean.

"my streaming room?" damien chuckled lightly. "well, if we were to start here, i can lend you my gamer chair."

"sounds like a great plan to me."

you two got closer and closer, until his lips reach yours. gentle kisses turn into passionate open-mouth clashes, and the rest is history.

that's where you both ended up - hot, steamy sex in the place where your boyfriend freely interacts with much of the outside world.

the thought of you getting railed in damien's stream room was that of pure naughtiness. although it wouldn't fly in reality, you got more turned on by the potential that anyone out there could be hearing the whimpers of profanities, titles, and damien's name, as a way to show them that you're his and his alone. and you were certain as hell that he's sharing the same sentiment.

but, little did you two know that his stream hasn't actually, fully turned off yet. YIKES.

luckily, the camera was already off by then, but somehow, unbeknownst to his twitch moderators, an error unknowingly happened while they were trying to close. it caused the audio to still be on - and, consequently, the chat feature.

in other words, while you and damien were moaning and panting through each rough fuck, some of the audience that hadn’t left yet were bewildered by what they were hearing in real time.

others even left comments as his chat was also on! the reactions range from “ayo 💀💀💀” to “WHATS WITH ALL THE MOANING”

damien, however, seems to not give a care, even as the chat (and eventually his discord) was blowing up. his focus here and now was you and the way you wrapped so tight and nicely on his cock.

he enjoyed in particular how you were taking his sharp yet languid thrusts so well - you got your legs spread and your back pressed well into the chair, greedy cunt welcoming him and begging to be fucked until you couldn't take it.

he’s holding on to the chair for dear life as he pounds into you, but the more rough the fucks get, the more difficult it was to keep you still.

despite the obstacle, you were enjoying the feel of him so much that you wouldn’t mind anything that may come in your way. you’ve craved for his cock for long now, and you were glad now that the craving came true.

damien was floored by the euphoric look of your face, no matter how rough his poundings could get. that's just one of many reasons why he loves you.

midway, he asked how you were feeling so far. your response: “i’ve never felt so much better; fuck you feel so fucking good; need you like this until i cum, until you cum” - basically a litany of praises out your mouth that have a twinge of horny.

meanwhile over at the chat, the audience was practically in shambles after what they heard from you. one of the mods took wind of what was happening at the moment, so in panic they immediately reached out to their fellow mods to help fix this whole issue.

on the chair, damien leaned you in on a kiss, which quickly evolved into sloppy frenching, teeth clashing, tongues dancing and open mouths slotting into each other.

as he pulled from such an intense kiss, he saw that the position both of you were in was making the chair pull a bit further from where you originally were.

he suggested another position where both of you can stay still even with all the intense movement. as agreed upon, you come down and lie your head on the seat cushion while your ass is up. he followed by kneeling behind you shortly thereafter.

he teased your now wet entrance with his cock, swollen head sliding up along your folds and to your throbbing clit, which gets sensitive everytime the tip touches it.

you illicit a whiny moan, and from there you were begging him to play with your pussy, even while he’s buried deep inside.

damien obliged, setting out to do exactly what you were hoping for. his dick fits into you like a glove, and one of his hands snakes its way into your clit and folds.

you instantly fold the moment you feel the pads of his fingers, every touch making you melt like putty.

as you two were enjoying the new position, the mods were frenzied in trying to mute damien's mic feed, but ran through a deluge of errors! ultimately, they had no choice but to wait for him until whatever freak shit he was doing was over and done.

your hands hold tight onto the sides of the chair as his cock drags so swiftly within your walls, hitting the most sensitive spots that are guaranteed to make you cum faster.

the noises coming from both your mouths get increasingly louder upon each thrust, and it would reach the loudest the moment you feel like cumming onto his cock - fuck if the chat cares, anyway.

when you do cum, you feel your walls tighten, and that’s enough for damien to lose control and reach his tipping point.

keeping up with the momentum, he haphazardly pulls out of you and fists his now throbbing cock until dribblets of his cum spurt out from the tip to your ass and back.

the position you were in may not look as ideal, but God, the backshot imagery here looked as astounding as ever.

the drippings have even reached within your ass cheeks - the view of your rim like this is in and of itself a much naughtier sight.

as you both wind down from the high, damien stood up to his stream deck to a shocking revelation.

a barrage of concerned chatters and clever coop members reacted to all the strange, unhinged noises coming from his mic during the stream, which he thought should have ended already almost 30 minutes ago.

he was also sent a stern warning note from his mod group, stating that they ran into a lot of errors in trying to mute his mic, but it was ultimately up to him to turn it off... at this rate, he definitely had a lot to explain. whoops!

glitches aside, he was too light headed to deal with all of this. he went to turn the mic and chat feed off. then, he turned to ask ask if you were up for another go - "but in the bedroom, please i can't deal with so much embarrassment - it's k!lling me!"

without a doubt you said yes, and with his sheer strength he lifted you there. in damien's point of view, sex in a private bedroom is a million times much safer and less prone to unwanted visitors.

the fun certainly didnt stop as soon as you reach the bedroom, though. now with all thr pressure of the concerned clever coop out of his way, damien now got to have you all by himself - he eats you out while you savor the feeling of his thick fingers thrusting in and out of you.

at least here, he’s satisfied that the loud, incriminating moans you made are contained within these four walls. fuck if the chat cares! it’s just him and you against the world.

------------------------------------------------------

it’s been a while since the incident during his last stream. with the help of his mods, damien has become strict on banning anyone within the clever coop or outside who may clip the moment.

he also collaborated with the mods to edit all of the leaked audio out - that way, he hopes, nobody can see let alone hear how you and damien have been to each other.

even while he tries his damndest to erase any evidence of his one big oopsie, he sure knows he’s getting teased by everyone who’s aware of the incident - his friends included.

(one of his friends, who works in the sex industry, suggested he try out recording audio porn or set up an onlyfans page filled with audio porn content)

(damien kindly declines, but given the curious buzz that incident had created, plus the profit that comes with nsfw content in general, he thought it wouldn’t be much of a bad idea after all)

[lostinthenight-snow]

YOURE SO FUCKING PATHETIC

TW for mentions of suicide utc

So. Guess who's being threatened and told to kill themselves?

Me! Snow! Though I also go by Ember!

I think one of the biggest mistakes I made was choosing to create an rp account for a character like Sae right before season two came out. I should have known that he would be put in a tough spot with a lot of characters slating him and hating on him.

It started with one message. I wasn't that bothered with the first one, saying that Sae should have been died in Spain or something. I just deleted it because yeah, I don't wanna answer that kind of ask, but go ahead and ask it if you want to.

And then it just got out of hand, like you can see here. I don't know how hate towards Sae spreads to me as a mod, and why I'm receiving this level of hate. It's really fucking hurtful. Sae as a character shows no reflection of who Ember is as a person. That's the fun of fiction, keeping it separate from reality.

But anons have taken it too far these past 24 hours. I've turned off anon asks for a while to cool down and hope they leave me alone.

I just wanted to say to everyone here that you're free to rp pretty much any blog you like. Characterise anyone you like. Fiction has never been reality. And there is nothing wrong with 'liking' a bad character. Nothing.

And by the way! If you know my main, chances are you read the replies of my pinned post. Where I said my discord tag. Did you search it on tumblr to find me? Such dedication. Well done! My main account is lakeside-paradise. Check it out if you want.

As of now, I'm not sure what I want to do. Maybe I'll just leave here altogether. Maybe I'll make another account. Maybe I'll change this one. I just need some time to think about all this.

Alright, gang? We good? Good.

Tagging: @worlds-best-striker in case you wanted to see

[your-local-grinning-cat]

The Ultimate Compilation Callout

Hey Guys! AR OOC once again to say I am 100% done.

I'm done with this. I thought it was finally dying down and the drama was finally getting to be over with but then she came back and is now trying to say that we are the ones in the wrong. And she is STILL trying to blame Leona's mod when, as both @/castaway-achlys and I have stated numerous times at this point, they were asleep during the entire event. They did not ask for us to defend them. We were both just tired of hearing our friend be exhausted and stressed out by her.

And the fact that so many people have come out to give their own experiences of her being rude and cruel to them just proves this is not a singular event.

I'm putting all this under a cut because it's gonna get long guys. In fact, I’m probably going to end up needing to create a couple reblog chains to get it all out.

But I'm done playing nice. I have all the receipts. Like I went allllll the way back to when the discord was first created. I caught her in her first lie.

Which, coincidentally, her very first lie in the Discord server happened on the very first day it was formed. What a way to start.

I call her the Malleus mod as an identifier in these screenshots, because unlike her, I am not petty enough to reveal peoples’ personal information on the internet just because I don’t like them.

HOWEVER. I will remind everyone that she is not JUST the owner of the Malleus account. Even if you don’t want to look under the read more because there are a LOT of receipts, know that these are all her known blogs.

I do not condone harassment. Harassment is basically what started all this. Just block and go.

Malleus Draconia @/therealmalleusdraconia

Falena Kingscholar @/the-falena-kingscholar

Aijuka (A Leona gf OC) @/the-one-aijuka

Jack Howl @/frosh-jack-howl

Fellow Honest @/fellow-honest

Meleanor Draconia @/meleanor-draconia

Baul Zigvolt @/baul-zigvolt

Sebek’s Mother @/thethickestone

Marja Felmier @/marja-felmier

And her latest: Eric Venue @/ericvenue

(Bonus non-rp blog @/thetwistedminds)

Before we get too far into it I will say there is a slight color code! But only a tiny one!

Gross light green color - look at that lie! 👀

Gross darker green color - a lie is revealed! 🤭

Orange - note the date/time! 🗓️⏰

Let me show you what I mean in the lie I’ve already mentioned - her very first one. :)

There we have the orange, telling you to note the date. That’s because I was wanting to make sure it was known that the pet posts were made on the same date that the discord was created.

And then we have the gross light green around Malleus mod claiming that this bunny is her bunny and that it was her bunny’s birthday recently.

Now here is the follow up with the gross darker green of a lie revealed. 😌

And there we have it! The color coding system and her very first lie told the very first day the Discord channel was active and easily disproven with an image search.

Now let’s get into the FUN STUFF! /sarc

We’re going to be doing some rehashing here but I’m also going to probably be including some new things so stay with me folks! This’ll be a ride! Buckle up!

So, originally I was thinking I'd start with the current drama. But considering that a lot of that has already been covered and what hasn't been covered needs more context, I'm just going to keep going in chronological order, I guess.

I've been up for over 24 hours compiling receipts, editing them to protect IDs, and then getting them all sorted so let's finally do this so I can pass out!

First up is something that actually has been covered a bit but I'm going to expand on it slightly - her blatant lie to @/elysia-nsimp (I'm not tagging anyone because I'm not forcing anyone to get notifications on this lmao).

Here's what everyone has already seen. But to expand on the event, we didn't call her out on her bad behavior, even though we probably should have as she had just lied straight to another mod's face about her blog ownership. I simply DM'd the mod in question privately to make sure they were okay and then tried to keep the peace in the main chat.

Because, believe it or not with this major callout post, I don't generally like confrontation. But I stepped in there for Elysia and I stepped up during this for Leona's mod.

Now, later that night, she posts this as if nothing had happened and she hadn't just been told that she needed to work on her roleplaying skills:

Uh huh. Sure. That's your last account. Because you have shown so much self-control when it comes to filling character voids within the twst rp community already. I'll be generous and give you a month before you break.

Now these next ones need a tiny bit of background information and a note: the Malleus mod is German and, as far as we know, lives in Germany. These next pictures are little indicators that she has not experienced the United States at all. These indicators may not seem important now, but they will be in just a little time. So keep them in mind for after the pause.

You cannot tell me anyone who has spent any length of time in the United States has not at least heard of Walmart.

Quick pitstop to say wow! You didn't even make it a month! Congratulations!

Also, note the question from the admin and the pretty obvious passive aggressiveness from me. We were sending plenty of hints that they needed to stop - sometimes coming outright and saying it, sometimes simply implying. Either way, we were all ignored.

She says she's not a mind reader. Well, apparently she's just not a reader period.

Now... a bit of an oddball here. And I want to say I do not necessarily think this is a lie. I am including it for a lie that is coming. The one that I included all those America comments for.

I'm sure you will note that I said that I don't "necessarily think" it's a lie - indicating that I do think it could be a possibility. That would be correct.

She has been lying since day one and, after this doozy of a story I'm about to share with you, I honestly don't know what to believe when it comes to her.

So.. to sum this up...

We went from a cringe ask from an OC account that she didn't want to answer -> the asker wasn't supposed to be on tumblr because they were underage (???) and was trying to date her irl and somehow had all of her information (oh but don't worry guys she deleted the ask!) -> he found her social media accounts and sent her NSFW pictures and started spam liking, demanding pictures of her kids, sent pictures of her at-the-time boyfriend, sent pictures of his family and his kids -> so she blocked him on everything and then started spam creating the rp accounts to see if he did it with other people or if it was just her (...mmmhmmm...) but nope he was only interested in Malleus -> she then apparently moved to America for a bit to crash with her boyfriend because this underage person went to Germany to find he.

Oh, by the way, why was this guy obsessed with her? Oh, he was obsessed with German women. He decided that all German women were pretty. And she's German-Russian! And Russians have intense standards for women you know! After this guy found out she was German AND Russian, I mean... it was only a matter of time before he upped his game to try to find her!

Guys, she's not saying she's too beautiful for her own good - the underage stalker speaks for itself!

Now, since this stalker found her through her Malleus account and was obviously very determined, you would think the first course of action would be to, ya know, delete the Malleus blog. Right?

No, no, no! Then she would have to start all over and, of course, if she switched accounts she would be forced to make a post on her current blog saying what her new blog is and he would just find her there. That's why she's trying to make her other accounts more active than her Malleus account (her Malleus account was still, by far, before all this happened, the most popular of all her rp blogs)!

Can I also mention that in that post announcing her pregnancy ON HER MALLEUS ACCOUNT WHERE SHE SUPPOSEDLY HAS A STALKER, she had tagged ALL OF HER BLOGS AT THE TIME?

But yes, Malleus mod. I definitely believe your story. :)

Please. Please tell me you all can understand why I just cannot find it in me to trust a single word coming out of this woman's mouth.

Especially now that during this whole drama, she has been lying through her teeth and trying to pin the entire blame on Leona's mod.

Now this part is nearly over (thank whatever gods anyone believes in) but let's just post the last few of the "before drama happened" pictures, shall we?

...I'm realizing I didn't underline the part where I called her out for having that many blogs in the gross dark green of a lie caught... oops. This is what happens when you have far too little sleep.

But either way, here is another time when she was called out on a lie of hers. And her little comment at the end means she read it and she acknowledged us.

She just didn't care because it didn't suit her.

~~~~~~

ALRIGHT!

THAT'S THE END OF PART ONE!

Yeah. This is going to come out in PARTS. I can't cover it all in one post because there is a picture limit.

So, I'm going to end up making a reblog chain...

Eventually.

Real talk? I need to sleep. Desperately. It's nearly two in the afternoon where I am and I have not slept yet.

Do not underestimate the power of spite and my loyalty to my friends. Both are very strong motivators.

But my body's needs are finally winning.

When I wake up, I'll have the Ultimate Drama Arc to post and expand upon and then the Return of the Drama Arc.

Yay. (said in the most unenthused voice ever lmao)

Anyway. Enjoy all this. I'm gonna go die. /j

[sycamorality]

thinking abt that 1 time where i was semi-active on a discord server for a yter i watch cause his content actually interested me.

at some point in the announcements channel he posts a link to a game, asking everyone in the server to playtest the game. i'm sideyeing this game because…. this guy is a minecraft youtuber. this guy made a world with only one block where structures generate in the world. so i talk in general chat like, "hey are we sure we can trust this..?" and i try to warn people that this could be a scam and call it out that he could've been hacked because he's not the type to do this.

some other people are suspicious too but i'm the only one being 'loud' about my suspicion and pointing it out. one of the mods, who to my knowledge was the guy's friend, is like "no he's not hacked he's made games before". so i download the game and run it through a malware tester. guess what it turns out to be. i post a screenshot of this in general chat. i think it gets deleted pretty quickly but some people do see it. i keep trying to point out hey this is malware dont downlaod it and play it..? but the mod who is the guy's friend keeps saying "he's made games before" etc etc and someone plays it in vc. yes, it's a simple 2d shooter, But its still got malware.

and i'm just sitting there in vc like. guys. guys this is fucking malware. guys. oh my god guys. i also point out that the youtuber doesnt type like he usually does. he usually types all lowercase with a few specific typos and he's not doing that right now which is you know, weird as fuck. i'm still weirded out because he's not the type to make a game like this?? and then after a few minutes they like. start kicking people from the main server, specifically people that are voicing their suspicion, and thats finally when people started realising. oh shit. something's fishy about this.

and someone makes a temporary server for everyone thats active to gather while shit continues to go down and the main server is locked down because the hacker's realised theyve finally gotten got. so the hacker's doing damage control and people are talking in the second server someone made and then the youtuber joins with an alt on the second server after two hours or so and confirms he got hacked and that the game that "he" sent was malware. and i'm just sitting here trying my best not to go "I TOLD YOU!!! I FUCKING TOILD YOU!!!! I SAID IT FIRST!!! I SAID IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER IT WAS POSTED AND YOU DIDNT LISTEN"

anyway i ended up leaving that server later because there were a lot of nsfw/18+ jokes that were thrown around even though there were minors on the server. actually 1 of those were directed at me and it was someone "joking" about commissioning me to draw nsfw and me responding "im a minor" and him replying "i see... so ur playing hard to get" and i brought that up to the youtuber and he just brushed it off like "no he just makes jokes like that. hes just like that"

[jessnotfoundd]

𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞!

Telling you're loved ones that you both are becoming parents.

Dad!verse masterlist!

Masterlist here!

Dream

He wanted to wait a few weeks, just to be entirely sure, and find the best way to tell everyone from his family to all his friends and people on social media. Even though it was public that you were pregnant, he wanted to keep a low profile with it.

Sapnap

He didn't even think twice, after a few minutes you gave him the big news, he was already calling his and dream mom, he then proceeded to just highly feel emotional with all the greetings from all and cleaned his half-formed tears.

George

He went in shock for a few minutes, sitting there on the couch, he was so confident when you both rushed to get a pregnancy test and while you were doing it that you just laugh, he was serious there.

-You okay?- you sit beside him and just smile, and he nods.

-I have to tell my mom right now.- He smiles, leaving a kiss on your cheek. After his mom, none of you could stop calling friends to tell them.

Karl

He just decided to join a discord channel and call everyone to tell them all at the same time.

Boy was just super nervous, he wanted to already have the baby in his hands to show him off so bad, he spent the whole call with friends telling all the things he would do with the baby, from Disney to Mrs beast videos.

Quackity

He is so secretive, but this, this is the most important thing, this would completely change his life and yours for good and for the rest of their lives, AND you can't just go "yeah, my baby was born last month dude" dsakfhak he just would blurt out with Karl and the dream team, and then all would just start to get the news.

Punz

This man would just take one of those mirror pictures with the ultrasound and a hand on your belly, the post blow out. Everyone screaming and crying and just absolutely loving the idea of Punz having a baby. (He would also say on stream that when both of you decided to show him in the public eye, he would dress him as a baby bee)

Foolish

Listen here, he would just show up one day on the stream with a baby and said "it's mine, we made him" and just laugh because no one would have known that. Tina would just freak out, she was the more excited, and the boys would all start to spoil the baby as a welcome to this world hahaha.

Wilbur

This is the thing, you told all your family but, you wanted to just keep it to yourself for a few more months before the belly shows up and have to tell chat what is going on, but then, he would do a wine stream with big Q and totally forget about the previous talk and not tell chat about it. He wouldn't even try.

-And now that I'm becoming a dad, big q, things are gonna change a lot, right?- he was already tipsy and forgot he was streaming.

-Am, i guess.- he didn't know what to say because chat is now freaking out, and he knew you wanted to wait.

-Oh no, t/n is gonna kill me.- he realizes and starts to freak out.

You didn't kill him because he didn't mean it and because he looked cute when he realized he fucked up.

[loquaciousquark]

hey quark! did u see the new da4 trailer? thoughts on it? :D it feels very….. different to me than all the past games, but seeing everyone get so excited is getting me a little excited too.

I have indeed! @silksieve has reached out with all her little fingerly vine tendrils in our discord and wrapped us all up with her excitement for DA4, ahaha.

I am...excited in reserve, I guess! I told Silk that basically I'm the one right now on the beach watching everyone else swim in the ocean, and I want to swim too, but if there are sharks in the waters I also don't want to be eaten first, lmao. A small part of it is the unpleasantness surrounding the Bioware/EA layoffs & creative control issues, but mostly I just felt pretty disconnected from DAI's story by the end of that game, and I'm hesitant to invest a lot of anticipation now if the narrative they want to tell is likewise disparate from my main DA-universe interests.

I'm also holding back a little because for me personally, the DA story is still so much about Hawke & Fenris, and just as with DAI, I have some niggling worries about what DA4 might do to them. I'm sure it'll be fine, but until I know for certain, I'll probably hang back just a little. Likewise, if Varric actually does die in the opening, that's honestly a huge black mark against the game for me. I really don't like that kind of scripted character death unless it's been seriously earned, and I don't have quiiite the level of faith in the studio right now to feel secure in their management of something like that.

Aside from that, my creative interests are still solidly in BG3 right now, and I'm playing Zelda in the off-writing-hours so I can't replay DAI at the moment to get a sense of it again, so more hype may come later. Regardless, I'll still definitely buy DA4 on release & play it & post thoughts here; it may just take me until right up to that time to get genuinely excited!

I have totally loved seeing all these DA blogs come back from the dead, though. Ha!

[monbons]

Ten Questions for Writers

Thank you @artsyunderstudy, @roomwithanopenfire, @emeryhall, and @run-for-chamo-miles for the tags! I am a wee baby, so I wasn't sure I should answer. But I've loved all the asks going around (the Top 5 fics posts were great and my TBR is so long now!), so I figured why not?

How many works do you have on AO3? 3

What’s your total AO3 word count? 53,184 (I posted my first fic ever for EGF just this past February, so I guess that's good?)

What fandoms do you write for? Carry On always and forever

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! As everyone has already stated, responding to comments is how you build community. If I hadn't gone back and forth in comments, I would never have found the Discord or made so many amazing fandom friends. BUT ALSO! I had no idea how AMAZING comments were when all I did was binge fic and kudos. Then, I posted Kill Em With Kindness, got overwhelmingly nice responses, and now I make a point of ALWAYS replying and--more importantly---commenting on fics written by others. (This is a blanket apology to all the lovely writers whose fics I read and did not comment on before. But hopefully I've gushed at you since then in my responses to YOUR comments on my fics, or in person, or on tumblr, or on Discord...I hope to someday go back and comment on a re-read to make up for it!)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No?

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Also no, but I'd love to! My first three fics were 100% me. With "Baz in a Bubble," I've bounced ideas around with anyone who will listen, including outlining help from @hushed-chorus and plot brainstorming with @thewholelemon and @talentpiper11. Since it is a full AU not based on an existing work, the drafting has moved MUCH SLOWER than my previous three fics combined and figuring out "what's next" has been harder, so collaboration has significantly helped! The story went from one where Simon was more of a plot mechanism for Baz's growth to having a fully developed Simon with his own subplot and meaningful relationships that complement the SnowBaz of it all. That wouldn't have happened without collaboration, so I imagine co-writing is an even better experience---especially because I second guess every word I write. I'm sure having a partner would help with that!

What’s your all-time favorite ship? SnowBaz owns my soul

What are your writing strengths? I've been told my dialogue and pacing are good. Maybe also writing sweet moments? Literally the #1 word people use to describe my plots/characters in comments is "adorable." Not sure how to feel about that one... In any case, I am still so new I am only just developing strengths.

What are your writing weaknesses? I want to be able to write with a punch, if that makes sense? I think there are so many gifted writers in this fandom who have such a beautiful way with words that they can create a whole moment in a single four word sentence. I am verbose, which waters down a moment and makes me feel like my stories are narration heavy. I also have trouble describing things precisely with new or different words so I am not constantly repeating myself. Precision of language and an extensive vocabulary are sort of required to pack a linguistic punch. Finally, smut. Love to read it, physically hurts to write it. (I blame the residual Catholic guilt...) But I am committed to learning so my next EGF is not described as "adorable."

First fandom you wrote for? Carry On. Why write anything else?

Not sure who else may have already done this, but here are some no pressure tags: @hushed-chorus, @bookish-bogwitch, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla,

@shrekgogurt, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[omar-writes-stuff]

The Dr.Raspberry puzzle 🧩

Hello, it’s ya boy Omar, and as some of you may know I’ve been recently pulled back into the fandom by some of my moots from Twitt due to an insane, wild and incredible lore involving a writer I used to be obsessed with a few years back.

The following message is an ask I’ve sent RandomnessUnlimited, who i apologize since I do not know them personally but is supposedly the only person everyone mentioned to me from the doc that knows more about any of us regarding Dr.raspberry (?).

*** hi. Omar again 🌿 I was wondering, are you going to go into extreme detail and explain every single evidence of the Doc about Dr.Raspberry in your defense doc? Because now I'm getting really REALLY invested.

Ok so Dr.Raspberry joined on A03 in 2020 and immediately got to write Kaeloo bdsm porn at the age of 11. Then also made a Tumblr at the age of 11 in 2020 (even tho its against tumblr rules and verification methods) and the acc. stayed inactive for four years. Then after the drama started their first posts immediately started being all centered towards reblogging your copy pasted theories and announcements. Then they claimed that they knew the original creator of the Kaeloo server even tho you just said they were never in Stm and the creator themselves said they don't remember any 11 year olds (so someone must've told them, and who else knew of the OG creator aside from you?). Then they started defending you in every single post saying that they knew you and that they had "great experiences" with you and that you're a trustworthy and kind person. Then they made a huge announcement named "Attention Kaeloo fans" going into extreme and articulated detail about the "kretty fans" and to not engage with them even tho they were not even in the server but some friends simply kept them updated with everything (for absolutely no reason I guess? Plus why involve this poor random underage fan in private discord drama? Who was even texting this person and why???). Then their post blew up and got reblogged by you and all your friends (therefore you all agreed with this supposed 15 years old that popped out of nowhere and wasn't even involved in the server?). Then the doc came out and BAM, they're gone forever again (strange, I know). And now you're saying that you think it was a fake profile all along and that you don't know them??? After all the positive things they said about you and all the supposed "friends who kept them updated with the drama"? Now you think Dr.Raspberry is one of Jay's friends?? Just ask your sever members which one of them was it that kept Raspberry updated and involved them in the first place! Unless it was you that is…

Now here are the only two plausible options:

Raspberry was a poor elementary child deeply traumatized by pornography and that wandered through the fandom by themselves for years minding their own business until one day one of you guys from Stm approached them (fucking weird) and involved them into this crazy drama for apparently NO reason and told them every. single. detail. bout the story and always kept them updated and even exploited them by having them defend you all the time and write a huge warning paragraph about looking out for Kaetty fans and having to use IPs while it should've been YOUR responsibility as the ADULT and SERVER owner to take care of it (and possibly prevent this 15 years old to be dragged in this hell by god knows who for absolutely no reason, again, they were not part of Stm so why the hell were they even fighting so hard to protect the members and most of all, YOU). Way to go to exploit a child I guess

Raspberry was just a fake account made by a random adult who wanted to write Kaeloo porn. But then if that were the case then it would imply that they were friends with you and other members of the server who kept them updated with EVERYTHING all the time and even collaborated together to warn fans about the kretty chaos and hoe to change IPs. And you never denied any of their comments defending you or involving you. Result: you were actively friends with an adult who wrote extreme fetish Kaeloo porn for years. Or maybe it was just you all along, we don’t know.

The questions remain: who approached this person first? And why? Who kept them updated with every single detail of the drama that happened and WHY? If they were really a child not involved in the server, why put such massive responsability on their shoulders to warn fans and telling them to use fake IPs if the drama never even involved them to begin with and they didn't know all the members? Why didn't YOU do it since it was your responsibility as the owner and as an adult? And if you truly suspected it was an adult hiding behind a fake account since the beginning then why did you never publicly call them out for their porn? Why did you keep them around for so long and have them be friends with your server members (also minors)???

Can't wait to see the end result! I'm sure it's gonna be amazing, I've never been so invested in something so much before, it's very interesting ^^***

But of course, my question was deleted and left unanswered by Unlimited and i got called a “troll” for simply asking (wtf brother lol). My point is NOT to send hate or discrimination. I do NOT care about porn artists or writers, I do not care about who likes it or not, and I certainly don’t care about this fandom ever since the pandemic ended. All my autistic ass cares about is getting to the bottom of Dr.Raspberry’s identity, a cool writer that I really liked back in the day.

Now I’m sure if Unlimited is innocent and has nothing to hide they’ll have absolutely no problem in addressing all of this and answer all my questions in their “defense pages” (?). 🌿 However the answer to this dilemma is actually quite simple and easy to resolve: whoever originally approached Dr.Raspberry (supposedly a child) in the first place and decided to pull them into this drama (again, for absolutely no reason) should simply come forward and share screenshots proof of their chats or at least how they first met). If it’s true that Dr.Raspberry has been updated on every single specific and accurate detail about the server and the drama, about the original server creator (who’s name I don’t fucking remember, sorry) and even Unlimited’s personality and behavior by “some friends” (to the point of defending them in every single argument) then there should be absolutely no problem in finding those chats and sending even just one screenshot as proof.

This isn’t a good position for Unlimited, and anyone who has at least 5% of brain could easily tell that it just sounds like it was them all along, but again, it shouldn’t be right for me to point fingers unless I have even more solid proof, right?

So STM members: whoever of you has been in contact with Dr.Raspberry personally or has been updating them with the entire drama lore for the past month or has made them write warning posts and telling them about IPs (mind you, this is a 15 years old we’re talking about), please come forward and share proof of even one of your chats or how you originally met, to prove Unlimited’s innocence and and to prove that (supposedly) they are NOT the same person. Thank you all 🌿

PS. Shoutout to Dolls from Twitter and all the homies who managed to find me the lost bdsm fic on an Ao3 lost archive site. I have the pdf folder and in case anyone needs proof of the adult-like writing and I can easily link it in bio or share here (hiding it from the tag ofc).

⚠️ I do not believe in bullying, harassing, threatening and discriminating. Anyone who dares insult Unlimited or my friends from Twitter or the creators of the doc will be blocked instantly. I’m just a dude asking questions out of curiosity, if you believe my well-justified interest counts as a form of “trolling” or “harassment” then you’re definitely hiding something or are part of the problem. I do not hate against nsfw writers or artists, I do not reinforce the idea of shaming strangers online or judging others for their actions or beliefs. I just ask for somebody to shed light on this dilemma and help me find the real identity of a writer I used to look up to. Be free and have fun, Mashallah, goodbye ⚠️

[streetkid-named-desire]

The thing that gets to me is like...I haven't done any of the shit the actual awful toxic people in this fandom have done. I'm annoying on my blog and people don't tell me when I do or say something that upsets them. So I can get removed from spaces while other people are buddy buddy with the actual toxic bullies and abusers in fandom. Make it make sense. Like I'm trying very very hard to stop judging people based on guilt by association but it's hard in this fandom! Especially because of how small and insular and prone to cliques and power vacuums it is.

I mean the only sense making is just that people are cowards who won't talk their shit out with others and that I'm just a dummy that approaches every social interaction with the intent of making friends and not like surface level networking or whatever. God forbid I'm a real person that wants to make real friends in fandom and shit.

I'm 34 years old and getting socially ostracized because other people are too cowardly to actually talk to me about any behavior and give me a chance to correct it like why am I feeling like I'm 13 again seriously.

All I need to really cap off the nostalgia is to be crying in my mom's lap talking about "my friends banned me from their discord because I was making people uncomfortable just by being myself" so she goes "well, they're not your friend then if they never told you before it got to that point"

But here's the thing like it's just gonna happen again and again over and over and over because that's like just the nature of trying to make friends when you're autistic *especially* online. I don't mask as much online because I'm doing it for 40 hours every week, it's exhausting. I just wanna be myself and myself is boisterous and open and passionate and loud. I'm just everything little girls and mature adult women aren't supposed to be and that makes people just short circuit. I'm an anomaly. I'm an abrasive, insane anomaly.

I'm just annoyed now because the remaining fandom spaces I'm in, besides the one I actually admin, has people I don't like and that I know don't like me and so it's just actually more anxiety inducing trying to talk in those.

I guess I just have to become a prolific modder like all the people that don't like me so I can have some power in this public modder cult of personality power struggle I guess. I promise I'll try not to let all the clout go to my head <3

I think it's just putting my childhood experiences into perspective. I didn't know I was autistic and so I internalized heavily that all of those qualities were bad and I should feel bad about them. When really there's nothing fuckin wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with my personality. Like other people get annoyed but if you don't tell me what's annoying you then I'm not able to do anything about it. I won't turn my personality off but I'll know how to be more mindful, how to calibrate myself to be palatable for a space while still not masking.

The whole point is I don't want to mask and I have the ability to calibrate my personality to be acceptable and appealing for a space or to certain people without making it feel like masking. I have a good handle on a lot of that already just as a baseline. But I can always improve.

If you don't like the kinds of tags I'm leaving on your post then say something, my asks and messages are open! If you need me to be more mindful in conversations because I'm talking too much then tell me! Just tell me what you need me to change and I can do it! I want to do it! I want to be better!

I don't know if non-autistic people understand this. We are aliens by default because we don't exist in even the same social universe as you. It's all an effort. Every day. Every time. Because social skills are something we have to actively remember and work on. I am quite literal when I say if you don't tell me then I likely won't know. It doesn't cross my mind because it's not something I, as an autistic person, ever considered as a factor. And I need to be reminded of that! I don't share your experiences as non-autistic people in social situations and you have to tell me what you need from me, what you need me to do, how I'm supposed to be acting.

You have GOT to talk to people about shit. You cannot let it just wait and wait and wait until it blows up and you end up hurting other people because you can't deal with the mild confrontation of "hey when you say this it sometimes makes people uncomfortable" "oh! Okay I won't say that anymore, thank you for telling me!"

"you make some really super close friends in fandom like closer than you've ever made before" and that's true but also jesus fucking christ you meet some lousy as fuck people too apparently. It's just a like idk sickness in your own social and moral character. Have some backbone and just hash shit out one on one. I promise you the anxiety and shit will go away and it's worth the peace of mind.

[rindomness]

hello hi tell us about mementos and the security level

OH HELLO. Welcome to my personal hill to die on. This post is long. It's one of my out-loud rants in text form. Sorry in advance. There's a cut down there somewhere.

Thesis statement of whatever's about to come next is that Mementos fucks actually as a concept its execution was just horrible and also Yaldabaoth is a terrible final boss. OKAY LET'S GET INTO IT

First things first I really do think Mementos should have gotten a security level. The game plays "Mementos is the public's Palace" very straight, all the way to the end, insisting that Yaldabaoth is created by the public's desire for a status quo yadda yadda yadda. So like. Here's the screenshots actually

I didn't get the whole conversation mostly because I think I was streaming at the time and complaining out loud but like. He just straight-up says this? And then they do nothing with it???

Imagine this with me. Enter the imagisphere or whatever.

It's October. You've just defeated Okumura, and you just watched the mysterious black-masked figure you've been told cryptically about for a while now kill his Shadow. You watch Okumura have a mental shutdown live. It's horrific! It's worrying! What happened? What's going to happen to you? The Phan-Site meter starts dropping rapidly. You go to Mementos to prepare for the next Palace.

There's a security level.

NOT ONLY did this act make the public lose faith in you, but now you're enemy #1, and it's reflected in the collective unconscious. This Chekov's gun that they set up back in May goes off. You have to be much more careful in Mementos because if you aren't, you could get kicked out. The stakes are higher. Mementos, the public view of you, has changed. It's not just doors opening for you anymore.

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL. RIGHT? RIGHT??? BUT NO! No we don't get a security level until the depths, which contradicts itself, actually, because once you get to the depths, the whole POINT is that the public ISN'T reacting to you or your actions! Why the hell would they care that you're In There!

The obvious answer is that it's because the security level belongs to the Holy Grail/Yaldabaoth/the fuckass cup/whatever you personally call him. And okay, whatever, but the game goes out of its way to establish that the Grail isn't really a separate entity from "public desire," he IS "public desire," the status quo incarnate, so once again, I ask, why is this the only time you have a security level! (I know it's because this is the home-stretch to the final boss and mechanically it has to act like a proper Palace. I still think it's stupid.)

And now that I'm talking about the Grail. Hi. Hello. If you've talked to me on Discord you already know this but I fucking hate the Grail. I think it's stupid. I think it's thematically inconsistent. I think its only purpose is to be the "Let's fight God!" final boss. I truly believe that if I hadn't gotten into Persona 5 through Royal, I would not still be into Persona 5, because I would have gotten so frustrated with Yaldabaoth that I would have dropped the game. I regularly complain for half an hour straight about this thing in voice calls. One person once told me the only thing they knew about Persona 5 was that this cup sucked because I wouldn't shut up about it.

I've somehow managed to not do this on Tumblr but I can't really talk about Mementos without talking about it so I guess we're talking about the cup

Narratively: Yaldabaoth just sort of comes out of nowhere??? The whole game is building up to Shido. The whole game. And you do it! You defeat him! And then... there's this other thing??? Apparently??? I was genuinely really confused when I got to this part of the game the first time because I was going ok we beat the final boss complete with eight hundred phases! Hooray! And now there's this other fucker. Going back through the game there's some foreshadowing for him? But it's kind of all concentrated in the start of the game, around Madarame's Palace, when you're just getting used to Mementos, and then it all sorta just disappears.

YOU KNOW WHAT IS FORESHADOWED, THOUGH? MORGANA.

Imagine with me x2 because this is where I thought the game was taking us when it went "btw we need to tackle the depths now"

Morgana has no memories. Morgana knows there's something in the depths that explains who he is. Morgana assumes it's because he's human, and will become human again if he finds out what it is. The WHOLE POINT of exploring Mementos was for Morgana's memories! And then he starts getting these really unsettling dreams, right, where he's a Shadow, or has a Shadow, or whatever. And then you get to the depths.

What I thought was about to happen was that we were going to find out that Morgana was more or less what the Grail claims to be(a being created by the wishes of the masses) and that Mementos was going to be Morgana's Palace. "Oh but Morgana has a Persona-" Morgana's already a weird case I could easily see him having a Shadow or being a Shadow himself while also having a Persona. I'm ignoring Maruki because we're talking about vanilla and Maruki didn't exist yet.

I thought our final boss was going to be Mona's Shadow and that by defeating him(the part of Morgana(as a Shadow/Metaverse being/etc) representative of what they were trying to make Yaldabaoth: wanting to let the status quo handle everything, more or less, the desire to let the system do what it's designed to even if that thing is "crush everything in its path") we would reaffirm that change is possible as long as we all work together. Morgana getting to be this very physical symbol of rebellion and force of will and getting to go NO I want to try even if it hurts me.

What actually happened was... a lot more underwhelming.

What we got was, in a game where one of the primary themes is "rebellion against systemic injustice, you can't just get rid of the One Guy and fix Everything," a final boss who was... one guy who if you got rid of him you'd fix everything?

And I get it Atlus doesn't want to actually shake the boat that much but at the same time Yaldabaoth comes out of nowhere and says absolutely nothing of substance in a game that, over and over again, gets SO CLOSE to saying something really powerful and then sinking back into what's comfortable. It's the aesthetic of rebellion without the teeth of it.

Anyway now that I've complained for an essay's worth here's some positive stuff

I really do like Mementos. It gets a lot of shit for being repetitive and boring and like I sort of get that but on the other hand it is a JRPG. I'm not sure what you expected from the area that is, mechanically, "Here's where you go to grind." I don't see a problem with having this area. I think the special floor events manage to spice it up enough that it's not all that boring. I like Jose being there in Royal, I think he adds a lot, actually. The implications of everything Jose says are fascinating to me. The fact it's impacted by the weather! Like, as a world component, Mementos is so so cool actually guys. I know it's a Persona game so "world impacted by cognition" is sort of the bare minimum but it's really cool!!! The aesthetics fuck! The only layer I really don't like is.. fuck, I think it's Kaitul? Whichever one gets unlocked after Kaneshiro's Palace, I haven't gotten there in my current playthrough yet. It's just... too dark to see, all the time, imo. Mementos feels(except for... 90% sure it's Chemdah) very oppressive and spooky and I honestly think that's great. It's a depressing place to be! For a game about how corruption and systemic violence hurts everybody, it's really good!

In conclusion... don't ask me about Mementos unless you want an essay LMAO in seriousness I understand why Mementos gets shit but I think it should get less of it. And also that I could have fixed it(the cup. The cup is the big bad part of Mementos. Not the grinding you're going to get that with a JRPG no matter what you do you signed up for it when you launched the game.)

[neidrakos]

So umm, I guess I have to do a proper presentation :monksilly:

Welcome to my Tumblr! My name is Nei, but you can also call me Katzen and Monk, any of those 3 are completely valid! Extra points if you use all of them! I'm a beginner RW artist, I use the "#Nei's rw art" to tag my own art!!

I come from twitter, I wanted to make a new social since Twitter is slowly dying and all that (I'll still be around there until it dies, my @ is NeiDrakos in case you're interested)... I'm looking for Rain World artist to follow, if you're an artist let me know in the comments here!

----------------------------------------------------

So that would be my presentation, now, these are my rain world characters, feel free to ask me anything about them or "ask them" anything, I love talking about them!

Katzen or "The Pacifist": my scavsona, she's both an oc with her own lore and a representation of my past self (she/her)

Drachin or "The guardian": She's Katzen's sibling, an acuatic slugcat capable of producing venom. She's also bioluminescent (she/they)

Both of these characters together are called "The Discordants"

Monk: this is just a Monk design that I decided to keep as my slugsona because I really liked the design and I feel represented by Monk (she/her)

"The Alchemist": this is a character that came out from one of those "let's design a character in the comments" thingy. They are not related to Spearmaster by any means, someone just told me to add the spearmaster's speckles there. It also has a mouth even though it's not visible in the drawing (they/it)

Right now I'm working on 2 more characters, I'll post them here too once I'm done with them

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DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT: ZIONISTS, RACISTS, Z*OPHILES, P*DOFILES, AI BROS, NFT/CRYPTO, ANTI-LGBTQIA+ AND NAZIS

NSFW ACCOUNTS: PLEASE INTERACT ON MAIN, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YOU BUT NSFW GROSSES ME OUT, THANK YOU