#disconcerting

[asoiafreadthru]

A Game of Thrones, Eddard IV

Lord Renly stood by the screen, talking quietly with a short man who could only be Littlefinger.

Renly had been a boy of eight when Robert won the throne, but he had grown into a man so like his brother that Ned found it disconcerting.

Whenever he saw him, it was as if the years had slipped away and Robert stood before him, fresh from his victory on the Trident.

[mousegirlheart]

....should wrists sound like raking gravel when you're rotating them.....?

[curiosity-killed]

Possibly my sister’s fear of monkeys/apes is a little justified

[pinenutposts]

So weird when you remember that Leo Johnson was played by an actor.

[iwieldthesword]

I need to talk about this because it's making me feel insane.

Last week, my white leftist goyisch friends sat me, a wholeass antizionist Jew, down for a "talk" because they "needed to check in about Palestine" and make sure "our values aligned before we hung out again". They apparently needed to "suss out" where I stood on Palestinian rights, despite having had several conversations about Palestine and them being some of my closest friends. They needed to check, to search for and uncover my true values, because I had said some "disturbing things" that had made them "suspicious".

Disturbing things included:

Supporting IfNotNow which is a "liberal zionist organization" because it normalizes Jewish heritage in the Levant

Not bringing Palestine up enough, despite them also not bringing it up (this was apparently a test)

Mentioning that the Houthi's flag talks about cursing all Jews

Saying Stalin was antisemitic because of the "all the paw-grihms"

...and apparently other things they wouldn't specify, but had been tracking for months.

To clarify, I am an antizionist Jew from three generations of antizionist Jews. I have been vocal in my support of Palestinian liberation and in my condemnation both of Israel's actions and its violent founding as a state, and of zionism in many of its forms. I am a regular donor to Palestinian and Jewish NGOs and advocate for Jewish antizionism in person, at temple, and online. I have been talking about Palestinian liberation before they could point to Gaza on a map. But they needed to make sure, they needed to "suss out", they needed to check. And it's notable that the majority of moments that made them suspicious of me were times where I talked about antisemitism: not about Palestinian liberation, not about Israeli decolonization, not about anything actually relevant to Palestine. It was talking about antisemitism that made them check to see if I was a cryptozionist.

One of the most pervasive and insidious forms of antisemitism is the idea that Jews are inherently untrustworthy and suspicious. You have to constantly be on guard, track what they say and do, "suss out" the real truth. You have to keep them in line and and watch them carefully because they're liars and sneaks, and if you're not looking closely they'll return to their real values (and drag you down with them). This is where the idea of "cryptozionist" comes from and what it's directly building off of: the inherent untrustworthiness of Jews and the need to check. Because no matter how close you become you can't actually trust them, and any upstanding gentile should make sure to avoid associating with Jews before "sussing out" their real allegiances and intentions. You have to make them turn out their pockets, just in case.

I'm the first and only Jew they actually were friends with; I know because they've told me (strangely proud of it in the way white Americans are proud of that kind of thing). They've asked me questions about Judaism and fawned over how beautiful and unique it was for me to be connected to my community and culture. Pre-October 7th, one of them had even mentioned being interested in coming to services at my temple. She still has my copy of our siddur. But now she needed to "check" before she could be seen with me in public. Which is what it was: it wasn't a "you're my friend and I need to give you some feedback because you're fucking up" kind of intervention (which is normal and important to have), it was a trial. It was a last chance for me to prove to them that I'm clean-enough that they could afford to risk being seen with me in public, just in case someone noticed them fraternizing with a hypothetical Enemy and their leftism was compromised. It was a test to make sure that I behave properly when required to, that I'd play along and do what I'm told and turn out my pockets if asked (because any refusal would validate the notion of having something to hide). And above all it was an opportunity for them to reaffirm their own cleanliness by putting my imagined immorality in its place.

I did what I needed to do: I smiled. I apologized. I "didn't know that". I "appreciated the feedback". I turned out my pockets because what else could I do? They'd decided who I was and what I believed, regardless of what I said or did, so there was no point in explaining that they were wrong about me. If I had told them they were being antisemitic, it would just have been proof that they were right. Caring about antisemitism is a dogwhistle in the spaces they've chosen: it's not a real form of oppression, it's a tactic for sneaky, lying Jews to weasel out of admitting their true alliances. There was nothing I could say.

Nothing's really changed for me. I'm going to continue my activism for Palestinian liberation rooted in my culture and my faith. Antizionism is still not antisemitism. But I got a reminder that many white goyisch leftists fundamentally just don't trust Jews, and that the activist spaces they're in not only exacerbate their antisemitism in an increasingly insular echo chamber, but also allow them to finally vent their internalized bigotry in a socially-acceptable way. In my former friends' eyes, what they did was activism—disavowing a Jew (and making me feel humiliated, scared, and unclean in the process) as a cathartic stand-in for doing fucking anything for actual Palestinian liberation—but for me it was a grief that I'll be feeling for a long time: not only over losing friends I loved and trusted, but also over my sense of belonging and security in leftist spaces.

[deaths-accountant]

Today I learned you don't need self-reference to make a paradox.

[degenerateturtle]

[pazoo-underscore]

I've been saying that things "disconcert" me since I was about 7 becuase I read it somewhere and to this day I have no idea what it means except in context and i have no intention of looking it up

[wolfythewitch]

isaac

[angeltannis]

There was also an incredibly noticeable lack of Palestinian anything here in Salem compared to the tiny Pride in another town I went to last weekend, which was like 10 tents huddled together in one corner of the town common. Salem also let a group waving Israeli flags march in the parade, which was…pretty shocking to me, especially in comparison again to the tiny Pride from last week, which had a whole booth prominently in the center of the festival with QR codes for donating to Gaza relief funds and dozens of free zines of Palestinian poetry, info about genocide and guides on how average Americans can do their part to help

Went to Pride today and the parade was Noticeably shorter than in previous years

[tiredandoptimistic]

I think I'm very funny

(Yes this is about Abed going on a two hour rant about the Saw franchise. Writing an analysis post was not enough, I need to make memes).

[traceyc-uk]

#MCtober Prompt - Alternative House Faction AU!

Since I dug myself the hole of him being houseless to make any difference, this is AU with the baddies as an Ashwinder - the nicest Ashwinder there is 🌸💕

#MCtober Prompt - genderbend spell

[forecast0ctopus]

herbert west if his syringe was comically large

[coulsart]

This the cosmetic design.

[bri-cheeses]

hc that people can tell whenever Barty and Evan are having a fight/disagreement because it’s the only time you ever seen one without the other

[necroticmoth]

So... are we just going to ignore that Home can write...? Was no one going to mention it?? I know Home is living but,, why [and how] can they write