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thehigherseekerastro · 13 days ago

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Random Astrology Observations (Alternative Meanings Love Edition) 2 🤨❤️🤔

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape or form a professional astrologer, modern or traditional.

I HAVE been studying astrology for a while now, and analysing charts available to me, as well as my own, and noticed a lot of the info you find online doesn't make sense in real life, because it is too reductive, stereotypical or lacks broader context. So I thought I'd share some of my personal observations to see if it resonates with anyone.

This is NOT the end all, be all. Apply it as it makes sense to you.

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The 1st House 🙋‍♂️

The 1H in synastry is a tricky one, because the first house itself is related to our individual identity. It is the house of self. So, when it comes to having a love planet here, things can get really murky. You'll often hear that it indicates instant attraction, but also only surface-level. While that is not entirely wrong, it would be a disservice to reduce it to just that. Yes, first house ties back to your physical appearance and external impact. But what does that mean for someone else being impacted and impacting that? Does it even apply in synastry? The answer is: YES. And it goes much deeper than you'd think. It will talk about an immediate recognition. It talks of being mesmerized by someone's look and demeanor, but that comes accompanied with an obsessive need to know more about you, to be around you, to soak up as much of you as possible, as if to aggressively learn you. And that's because you will tickle all the boxes the person had been holding inside (and vice-versa).

(e.g.: having someone's planet(s) fall into your 1st house doesn't just mean they will be attracted to you, if it's romantic. It also means the person feels like you two share a vibe, share interests, ideas. It means they feel like you move according to their speed, and therefore, that could lead to a lot of trust and comfort on their part, because you feel like a safe place. Not in the same sense as the 4H, but in a more "this person will have my back, cause we're the same!" kind of way. It makes the person feel like you are enough, because you fit them. So even if everyone else disagrees with them or doesn't understand them, they'll sort of look over at you, and if you validate them, that will be enough for them. They'd rather have your approval – since you are someone who gets them – than to have the approval of a bunch of people who don't understand where they are coming from.)

It truly is a beautiful thing, but even positive planets with positive aspects can lead to unwanted side-effects. The house person could come to resent the planet person because of how much they like them. Depending on who the house person is – if they have a dominant or prideful personality, for example – they may come to resent and even become angry with the planet person at times, because they'll feel so strongly for the planet person that they could start acting out of character for them, and that can make them feel like they're losing control of themselves. And as human beings, what do we do when we feel out of control? Shift blame and start looking for culprits. This DOES tend to wear off, though, exactly because of how intensely the house person feels for the planet person, but it can burn hot for a minute or two, specially if they end up getting into an ugly fight and the 1H person tries to forget the planet person, but they can't bring themselves to hate them. They'll get angry at the fact that no matter how hard they try to hate the person, they still feel enchanted by them.

(this could also create an unwanted feeling of "nobody else is like them", so the 1H could panic a bit at the thought of losing the planet person because 1H synastry creates the immediate feeling of the "perfect person for me", so imagine thinking you found the perfect person for you... it can make you feel like if you lose them you'll never recover, because no one else will be like them or able to replace them as perfectly)

All in all, though, first house Synastry tends to usually show up good results, depending on the planets and aspects involved. Another aspect of this synastry that doesn't get talked about for some reason is the fact that they tend to obsess over and notice the tiny details in each other. So it creates this effect of falling for them over and over and over again, cause they'll keep finding little things about the other person that they find enchanting, and THAT'S what creates the physical attraction. It's not that the planet or house person are conventionally attractive to everyone – they might not even fit the beauty standards –, but to the house person, those little details will sort of build up the planet person's beauty step by step, and by the time they catch on, they'll be enamored with every part of them, so, to the house person, the planet person truly is the most beautiful thing ever.

(1H house synastry also brings a 1st house energy to the attraction. NO - NOT ARIES. First house. But it will sound like arian qualities because Aries does rule the first house, after all. What this means is that a big part of the attraction for the 1H person is feeling like the planet person is independent, self-sufficient, confident, self-assured and capable. Because it's taping into their 1st house of self, the house person can sort of see the best of themselves reflected on the planet person, which means they feel like all the things they are insecure to show the world, the planet person has and is not afraid to show them. So they feel like planet person not only embodies their attraction ideal, but also the ideal personality they wish they had themselves. Which they do, but they don't realize it until planet person comes along and brings it out of them.)

First house Synastry is a complex kind of Synastry that is much more psychological than it's given credit for. People often focus on superficial physical attraction and gloss over the fact that it's like somebody is literally stepping into your mind and making your inner fantasies come out. It can feel very vulnerable and intense.

The 7th House 💍

Oh, isn't this one a gem?! Perhaps one of the most sought after in synastry. But the idea here is to provide an alternative perspective, so here goes: if it's badly aspected, or there's other challenging factors involved (the person falling into your 7H is problematic themselves), you're gonna run into the issues people often attribute to 1st house synastry, such as superficiality and a "false love" because 7H Synastry, regardless if it's good or bad, creates somebody who's "perfect on paper". They say the right things, they do the right things, they seem to fit into your whole ideals. But that does not guarantee that that's who they truly are. That's just who you think they are. Remember – the 7H is the house of "other". So it's not about you. It's about the other. But it's rather how you act around said other, and also how you perceive them.

(It's tough to say this, but you gotta be real to help some people out there who might have had 7H Synastry and didn't understand why the relationship failed, since everyone online claims it's a guaranteed soulmate. It's because Synastry goes both ways. And all houses have good and bad. There is no such thing as the perfect Synastry. But in the case of the 7H, I'd say it's the real life case of "if it's good, then it will be amazing. Truly a soulmate. But if it's bad... it will be awful. Just not immediately.)

Going off of the previous comment, another grim way this Synastry can turn out is in its binding effect. And I don't mean anything spiritual or abstract here. I mean literally binding. Imagine a relationship going sideways like that AND you are also now married or share a business together. MESS! This is the house of contracts and long-term. Remember Saturn exalts in Libra, because Libra likes things that last, and Saturn is the planet of long-term, so the house of Libra will sprinkle that lasting effect over whatever it touches. And if you're in a 7H relationship, that relationship will last with you, whether good or bad. It will take A WHILE to break off from it, either mentally, emotionally, psychologically, legally or financially.

(e.g. somebody has their moon in your 7H, but it's a moon at fall, in Scorpio, and it's afflicted in their natal chart. Now, at the beginning they will seem like a gift from God directly to you, so much so that you decide to make it official... And then, one or two years in, living together, each day it gets more toxic and draining and the dark sides just oozes out of your relationship. But now you are legally married, and divorcing will take time, bureaucracy, money and emotional energy, not to mention you'll have to uproot your entire life, explain it to your social circles and families... And what seemed like your dream come true was in fact a bitter lesson to learn).

To veer away from the dark twists of the last ones, let's dissect the correlations people make with the 7th house, like "oh, your spouse will be interested in art, and beauty, and music, and sophisticated things!" Why? Are you marrying a Libra? A Libra rising? Somebody with a Libra Venus? No? Then that has nothing to do with 7H Synastry. Houses are not signs, signs are not houses. Libra is one thing, the 7H is another. Venus rules Libra, which resides in the 7H, but Venus doesn't rule the 7H. It merely influences the 7H. It would be a better guess to say you might have met your person while they (or you) were already in a relationship than it is to say you met because of beauty-related things, or art, or music, since the 7H doesn't talk of any of those things, but it DOES talk of committed relationships.

(e.g. you might have met the person right after they (or you) got divorced. They might be connected to an ex of yours. Or another possibility that isn't talked about is how the person you eventually end up with is someone you have liked for a long time, but never got the chance to be with until now. Since this is the house of long-term relationships, having placements here could indicate that the person you ultimately stay with long-term is someone you already knew prior to getting together, but you needed to experience other relationships before you united with them.)

Another final aspect of placements in this house is the fact that it doesn't just deal with your love relationships, but also the way you consciously present yourself with others. How you behave socially. But also the mirror effect of this house, speaking directly about love. This is, after all, the house directly opposing the 1st house of self. In that regard, this is similar to 1H synastry, with the exception that in this one, instead of you coming out of your shell subconsciously, you make a conscious effort to become your best for your person here. You want to live up to all of your potential.

The 2nd House 💆‍♂️

This one is a bit tricky for me, because I'm not materialistic AT ALL. I have a Taurus Lilith in the 2nd house, so, I express it on the other end of the spectrum. When you have that placement, you either put too much value on money and material things, or you are completely unattached from it, and that's me. So the whole "money this, money that!" vibe is not my scene. I don't see a price in life, I see value. With that said, let's get this going.

Yes, this is the house of money and material things. Yes, it will deal with your personal finances. But no, unless other parts of your chart/Synastry agree with it, somebody's placements falling here should not have a lasting effect. It might merely indicate you overspending on dates and gifts. The 2H is the house of YOUR money, which means that the whole "oh, they're gonna shower you in gifts!", "And this is a sugar baby aspect!", "Your person will want to spend all their money on you and buy you expensive things!" is probably not gonna happen, sorry. If it does, it will be you spending your money.

(And if you do spend your money, the whole "gifts" thing is also not that common, because normal people don't just go around buying gifts for others every other day of the week, unless they have some sort of imbalance. Such a consumerist mindset! Not everything is about paying for things or buying things. That's a VERY American culture of dating, specially for women. This nasty idea that a man has to buy you or he's not good. Which is what encourages habits like thinking the man always has to be covering your finances (how old are you, 5? Get a job and pay for your own damn self! You are an adult woman), paying for your food, buying you a house, giving you gifts all the time and affording expensive dates. You are not a product. If your biggest incentive to be with a man is because of how much he pays for you, then that's the world's oldest profession, not a relationship of love. So this should play out more like them helping you manage your own finances. Don't go around thinking a 2H love placement is gonna turn you into Cinderella.)

If you do happen to be a stay-at-home person in your relationship, which is valid, as long as it's not all about money, 2H love placements and synastry will talk more about other material aspects of things. It will talk of stability, sustainability, longevity and security.

(e.g.: it could mean that you allocate your resources towards creating a safe, stable environment for your life together to flourish, such as buying things for your home together, revising your finances to make life goals and plans together more viable, setting budgets to achieve milestones together... as well as the literal physical aspects of valuables, so using your resources towards nourishment (food, shelter, clothing and health). Things that will ensure your relationship lasts and endures through hardships and tribulations. In the 2H of values, Synastry could indicate the relationship itself becoming your prized possession that you take care of. All the Earth houses are about caring for things, just in different ways.)

Another poorly explored aspect of the 2H is values in the moral, spiritual and emotional sense. It's WORTH. Both the causes you find worthy as well as your self-worth. A 2H love placement or Synastry can and will directly affect that. Even if you do happen to be dealing with financial/material things too, that can affect your self-worth directly.

(e.g.: say you are married to someone who is constantly in debt, or say your spouse is the breadwinner of the household and you depend on them financially. That can really take a toll on your self-worth. It can bring feelings of poor self-esteem, can you make you feel undervalued, inadequate, make you feel like a burden, or make you feel incapable of caring for yourself. It can strike your self-confidence and make you VALUE yourself less. Or the opposite. Your spouse may open you up to new possibilities of making money, which in turn gets you into a new passion project that you succeed in and that can make you feel like a worthy person, make you believe in yourself, make you feel important and valuable.)

I would argue that most often, it's the 8H Synastry that will really have your partner's materials affecting you, because the 2H is the house of your PERSONAL gains, while the 8H is the house of OTHERS' gains and possessions. Most often, the biggest impact I'd say 2H love placements have will be dealing with self-worth, self-confidence, shared values and morals, feelings of belonging and acceptance.

General Things ✨

What I see most often is that positive and negative outcomes tend to happen simultaneously. It's not all doom and gloom, but it's also not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not so great, and those ups and downs come and go. That's just life. Both are there to be worked with, worked for, or worked through. At the end of the day, astrology will not mandate your life events, and you have to always be learning from your life, and working on yourself and the things that matter to you. Astrology is just a guiding light to identify possible themes to be mindful of.

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That's it! Thank you if you've read it this far! I might have come off a bit harsh (I hope I haven't), but I promise I'm nice lol.

My whole goal is to try to discuss astrology in as realistically as possible, but while making it clear that any possible outcome is plausible. If most times all you hear are fantastic stereotypical descriptions of placements, such as 7H, the not so great ways in which it can play out will be explored here to help people navigate them. If all you hear are bad things about a house, then I'll try to show the positive ways in which it can come out.

The whole point is to try to bring a wide range of notions to these descriptions, together with the information that is already out there and available by many other creators.

At the end of the day, remember this is all POSSIBILITIES. Your personal life has to be analysed to know what's gonna ensue. And don't be discouraged, because the truth is that positive and negative effects tend to happen together for your best.

Hope you have a good day when you find this!

MASTERLIST

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology #natal chart #astrology notes #synastry observations #synastry #zodiac #composite chart

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sociallyrepressed · 20 days ago

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alright heaven forbid I come to the defense of a rich white man whose watch is out of my tax bracket and at the risk of sounding parasocial, let’s discuss the response to the events of today, and how we can change our outlook in the future:

1. The public response on Twitter and in the comments of Instagram are not okay. You are allowed to feel strongly about some things but to go to a public space and wish harm on a person is too far. If you are focused so negatively on the shortcomings of someone you dislike that you cannot focus on the success of someone you do like, then you are only working to make yourself and others negative (“hating ___ makes me happy” no, being negative makes you happy, which does not make you a happy or enjoyable person).

Since the fandom is bad at relegating emotions and focusing on the positive, here are some exercises:

instead of “____ is a waste of a seat”—> try “my driver worked to get into f1 and be where he is, I’m proud of him!”

instead of “____ did so horrible, my driver is way better” —> try “my driver had such a good race!”

instead of “I hate ___ he should crash/leave the sport” —> try “I’m not a fan of this driver, I like ___ more and root for him in the races”

in no situation is it okay to send death threats/imply a driver should die/propose suicide to a driver. neither is it okay to make racist comments about drivers. ever. if you are so affected that you enjoy sending these types of messages, I am afraid no post on the internet can help you because the type of help you need requires a degree.

I bring these up today because of the backlash Lando received post-race, but these types of comments have been present in all of Formula 1 history, and never has it been okay.

However, if you want to hate in the privacy of your mind or with friends, go for it, bringing it into public platforms makes it uncomfortable for everyone, and takes the fun out of a fandom.

2. Context! Critical thinking! Being able to think critically in a given situation is a very important skill to have in life. Things are not split-line black and white. In today’s example, a couple of sentences in Lando’s post-race interview were taken out of context and misunderstood. Rather than checking out the original source (in which he was clearly discussing the misfortune of his own pit stop and how the timing of the red flag was luck) and forming their own opinions, many people jumped on the bandwagon, which is uninformed and harmful. Doing this without research makes you gullible, which is not a useful life skill.

Lando has since made glowing remarks about Max, it’s okay if you relax and enjoy the results of the race.

[edit because I see people disgruntled about McLaren pitwall having Oscar and Lando swap “when Lando didn’t even do anything”. Oscar had a ten second penalty and they need to protect positions. Lando and Oscar are solid teammates.]:

Key Takeaways and Disclaimers: I will admit it would be very hypocritical if I posted this while following several blogs who dislike some drivers, however they are polite haters. But. If there is nothing else you understand or agree with from this post take away this: fandom is supposed to be fun and enjoyable- the drivers are the ones doing the hard work! We’re supposed to sit back and observe! However, to keep fandoms enjoyable and enjoyably safe I encourage hating with etiquette. What does this mean? It means using anti- tags, filtering posts, not using crude or offensive language, and not making comments that would get you arrested if said to someone of authority (death threats, racist comments, etc). This was a very exciting race with an unexpected podium! It’s what racing is about, so let’s keep things fun and fresh.

#if this sounds condescending then it’s probably about you #and I would highly recommend you read it all the way through #to be clear: gently bullying your blorbo ≠ hate. using anti tags on a post that hates but does not include harm = acceptable #lando norris #ln4 #tw massive blocks of text #brazil 2024 #formula one

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mecachrome · 10 months ago

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extremely 👀👀 about this kind/nice spectrum u brought up and how alex oscar lando and anyone else on the grid are placed on the grid..... would love to know more.........

hi there!!! :D omg yes i would love to talk more about this, though of course disclaimer that these are my Personal Interpretations and i love to spout nonsense on the internet LOL. i'll just expand on oscar + lando + alex some more since frankly i don't know all the other driver lore Like That and i don't want to overstep in my analysis! also i'm deathly afraid of chirlies. ok let's move on

to start off... i think the way we talk about celebrity personas obviously requires some generalization + projection since we can only extrapolate what is already being consciously disseminated, and so although i frequently talk about the kind/nice dichotomy or someone's capacity for sympathy vs. empathy (which is kind of a parallel assessment imo) we are of course all complex people who contain multitudes, and i think it's mostly just interesting to examine strictly in the context of racing & racing mentality... if that makes sense!

also wrt landoscar's personalities → one thing i feel very, VERY strongly about despite their differing surface-level interests and social profiles (read: different flavors of off-track sports, both of them being gamers but to diverging levels of visibility, lando's higher degrees of hyperfixation, etc.) is that at their baseline they are extremely similar people, and honestly even very similar drivers and racing "characters," which ultimately kind of colors most of my analysis. if we peel back the layers then oscar and lando are both functional introverts who've been very well-nurtured by similarly robust, persisting, and loyal support systems—oscar spending 99% of his time off-track with his longtime gf, lando's best mates all being from his karting days, their dads being equally objective about yet also supportive of their careers, jon having trained lando since he was like 5 feet tall, etc.—so to me the overarching difference is that they have diametric approaches to how they externalize their convictions, and then obviously since that's what we see/hear day in & day out it generates the existing rift between their media images. per lando on btg:

"Oscar is extremely down to earth. A bit like me, just a very normal guy who's in Formula 1, just a guy that loves to drive cars and compete against people, and that's it."

(incoming egregious amounts of lando psychoanalysis...) despite oscar being the only driver i truly rep, i've always found lando's psyche soooo fascinating because he invites such extreme emotion in people (be it positive or negative), and i think part of it does go back to the idea of being nice vs. kind and ultimately the lens through which his intentions are interpreted by other people. in real-people fandom this is always interesting since it ends up becoming an unconscious exercise in how we perceive "sincerity" in others, even though the underlying paradoxical truth is obviously that any such assessment must always be dispersed and consolidated via a parasocial system (and thus everything is held relative to our own individual value systems... This is totally not the point of the ask. SORRY FOR THE MILLION TANGENTS) anyway as an extremely disillusioned sports fan i actually have a lot of time for lando despite how much visceral judgment he generates in quite a few people, which is totally fair since everyone is fully privy to feeling however they want to feel about any celebrity and i am not here to convince them otherwise lol. but that's just me!

i think to me the thing about lando is that there is almost zero pretense to his character, which some dislike because they find his bluntness off-putting, but imo just means his intentions are generally straightforward and easily digestible. sure, he lacks the spoken filter to not come off as occasionally callous, but at the end of the day i genuinely believe that he's an inherently thoughtful (and "kind") person, especially within the insular system of professional motorsport and the many mental pitfalls that accompany it. a symptom of this is how willing he is to resist more gracious media responses and how very inwardly critical he can be in specifically self-motivating ways, the latter of which sometimes gets misinterpreted due to the rigid yet overwhelmingly popular framework of what constitutes a competitive racing mentality. but like... to Me, lando is just entirely what you see is what you get, bad parts included, and he has zero intention of making excuses for that or pretending to be anything otherwise. which i enjoy!

and which again also goes back to the idea of niceness. (honestly the tl;dr for most of lando's pr scandals is just Oh okay so it's illegal to be neurodivergent now? but i'm trying to be normal so let me not just say that.) a good example is the entire debacle of saying he felt no sympathy for daniel at mclaren in 2022, because i think it elucidates a sort of kindness in objectivity that he very plainly participates in—to lando, being a top-performing athlete means never searching for excuses to soften the brunt of one's failures, himself included, and equally that there is no point playing sorry in front of journalists or trying to reshape their narrative scrutiny since at the highest level of competition any bold-faced externalization of "sympathy" is really just pity. and what point is there in telling someone else that you Feel Bad for their skill issue/struggles when the moment you extend that sentiment you essentially debase their position as a direct competitor and therefore disrespect them even more?

"I want to be the best in the world, I want to prove myself to people. But I've never had the mentality or the confidence to say that or feel like I need to do anything more than normal to show it to people. Do I have to do anything to go over the top and show that to prove it? I don't think so. People say you've got to be brutal and you've got to have this certain mentality. But I just don't think it's true at all. I think you’ve just got to get in the car and do the best you can."

i think the Separation of Church (treating everyone exactly as they are on-track, just another car to size up or keep at bay) and State (being friendly, supportive, and altogether well-regarded by other drivers off-track) is a primary tenet of lando's personality, and it's something he achieves by valuing kindness over niceness. you know the lando/maxf quadrant interview where lando is like: i'm not friends with you because of your achievements in life... i just care about your personality! and he's mainly saying it to take the piss out of him but he also 100% does mean that shit. that's the crasyinsane part about lando to me... god i'm so sorry i need to not go on for a million years but PERSONALLY, i think lando is very much the type of person who can go through an experience, or otherwise see someone close to him go through an experience, and approach it very empathetically to the point he continues carrying on this internal conviction about it even when he's survived or grown past it. like even as someone who mostly believes in Death to Relatable Marketing, i find it really interesting when lando talks about mental health in sports because we get to see both a) the fact that he's grown so much in his own mental resilience from his rookie self in 2019 to who he is now, but also b) that he continues to believe strongly in rejecting the presumed archetype of a successful formula 1 driver, and is steadfast in surfacing that even though... honestly? lando nowadays is a very consistent, well-rounded, and efficient talent who frankly doesn't experience nearly as much of the unproductive mentally-spiraling self-criticism that used to impact his performances to a far more pronounced degree when he was younger and rough around the edges. yet he still feels compelled to affirm that there is No One way to be an athlete (which is significant because "mentality" is such a harped-on concept in all sports, and everyone is always trying unfailingly to extrapolate performance-related projections via vague and completely subjective intangibles to a notably unempirical degree!!) because he does care, deeply, about how people enter and succeed in motorsport. honestly i always feel kind of iffy bringing up commentary re: Women In Motorsport because it often sounds unnecessarily adulatory, but at least in recent times i think he's also shown a decent amount of grace when talking about female fans, girls in karting, that one time he was like Bruh who are you? @ that misogynistic reporter, which...... i'm not going to say majorly influences my opinion of him, but imo being willing to quickly shut someone down like that is an anti-niceness to a productive end that i appreciate, since i think many personalities would kind of just smile bemusedly and try to quickly move on in the conversation.

tl;dr lando thinks feeling bad for people is useless and will never give you that one tidy sympathetic soundbite, but he does care for people vividly, especially off-track, which to him is the only place kindness really matters anyway. when you look at maxf (and i know this is mainly a portrait of codependency unique to their friendship but i do think it reflects his love languages in general) whose career cratered because he mentally couldn't handle the pressure, lando's response was literally to unfailingly engage in failcore househusband chores for him like leaving handwritten notes in his 3rd grade girl handwriting and ironing his clothes on stream........ which... i could go on forever but again. separation of church and state!!!

anyway with oscar on the other hand, i honestly think most things in his life kind of just exist as a function of motorsport LOL. and that he likes surrounding himself with people of similar interests/intellectual level/skillsets, down to his partner studying engineering and wanting to work in the same industry as him....... again, i think 814's baseline characters are Very similar and that they're both great team players with complementary professional approaches, so this is not a knock on either of their personalities, but imo lando is just generally more outwardly sentimental and has also had to do a lot of conscious growing up in the past ~4 years to become more well-rounded wrt off-track interests, whereas oscar basically came onto the grid as this already fully-realized product with far fewer dependencies who is just nonchalantly like, I see my family 3 weeks a year and my sisters just think i'm their lame older brother and don't care about my career at all, but i'm fine with that and i'd make all the same sacrifices i've made over and over again to get where i am!!! also re: oscar's abject lack of interest in engaging with fans one-on-one, an easy example is how lando genuinely values/treasures the friendship bracelets he gets and wears them consistently whereas oscar is just like. Erm. i respect it but that is not for me ✋😭 he's nice about fan things because he understands how much fan support and consumerist interest enable the circus that is formula 1 but he doesn't really value any of it much past the surface-level pleasantries......

why is this answer so long............... idk if you want to hear anything more about alex but i think he's very similar to oscar in terms of this measured external niceness/quiet ruthlessness, especially wrt how they weather team politics, interact with media (noted red bull marketing hater alex albon), and tend to simply Do The Thing To Do The Thing. alex is especially interesting because if you watch his high performance pod it reveals sooooo much of his growth over the years and his current mental framework ("i was having to be selfless, and it didn't really agree with me that much") and frankly even just the way he speaks about himself is fascinating to me but i digress!!! i do think much of lando's tactless impulse yet also apparent kindness comes from his considerably privileged background and the fact that he was shown a lot of Realistic But Also Unconditional Support and thus never had his career actively threatened growing up. so even though he's had to learn to not mentally catastrophize at the f1 level, he didn't undergo the reckoning alex did with his mother/losing rb's team backing/etc., which alex mentions in this podcast as specifically triggering his insatiable desperation to prove himself.......... and so on. alex and oscar to me are both quite similar in how they let more combative thoughts simmer and are very well-trained in responding palatably to the media, but they're also going to resist relating themselves too much to other people's struggles because That Is Not Their Problem, and at the end of the day oscar is uh.... sure he has a lot of appreciation for mclaren and has called prema a family before, but he really only wants to win for himself and is less inclined than lando is to romanticize the spirit of the Team. and so when he says things like "for me, there’s just not any point, especially in self-deprecation, destroying yourself in front of the media," it's a Niceness because his assessments are always entirely self-absorbed in the most productive of senses, as in he truly only cares about what he himself is doing and is never going to waste time worrying about or comparing himself to his competitors' mental approaches!

does any of this make sense. please excuse the monstrous rambling 😭 but also please feel free to follow up with your own takes/lore about any driver if you'd like to, or to tell me that i'm absolutely wrong if you'd like, because i always love to hear about these things!!! :3c

#ask #i did not mean to psychoanalyze lando like That i'm so sorry...

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yolowritter · 7 months ago

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Anybody order an Evil Emilie Au?

Hello there everyone, and welcome! I'm back on my bullshit and 99% sure I talked about this before, but who cares? This, this wonderful thing is the Games of Innocence Au! Did you ever want a world where Emilie is a psychopath? Did you ever imagine her being as morally grey as they come yet still trying to be a mother to her son? What about if it was Gabriel who used the Peacock instead? What if she's replaced him as Hawkmoth? Empress actually, but still! And what somewhere down the line, she tries to manipulate Nathalie into helping her?

What if Emilie accidentally falls in love with her best friend? This absolute masterpiece is one of my favorite show re-write ideas of all time, and I've got some sweet 9.5k words for you guys to enjoy right here! Thing is, since I already have an Au that's over 300k words long, and rapidly approaching 400k...not to mention the next huge project on my list (a conservative estimate of 500k words)...I will not be writing the Evil Emilie Au in it's entirety. Most of it is a show rewrite anyway, and I simply don't have the time go through each individual episode and change it so that psycho!Emilie is there instead of mr Mothballs. I'm currently trying to write the finale, since it is the single best part and my personal favorite scene, hopefully to post it both here and on the Archive when I'm done.

However! I can and will rant about it until the end of time, assuming someone asks! And since the voices in my head did, here's an entire analysis about this version of Emilie! It's right below the cutoff, but I'd highly recommend to first read the fic! So here's the Ao3 link, hope you enjoy!

Alright then, welcome back! I hope it was a good read! Now as a disclaimer, I am not a mental health specialist, and might be confusing the terms "sociopath" and "psychopath" here, but I did read that sociopaths often struggle to control their emotions and act erratically (which Emilie doesn't, she has great self-control), where psychopaths have difficultly forming any emotional connections, so I feel like the latter term describes this Au's Emilie much better. Let's get right down to business, and explore (this) Emilie Agreste's mind, shall we! Obvious spoiler warning for the above fic.

Firstly, I'd like to make sure we're all on the same page with what kind of person Emilie is! Whenever I refer to her I'm obviously talking about this Emilie, so don't confuse it with canon. I have another upcoming post abt that. Her main attribute is that life as a concept is permeated by a general sense of boredom. Wake up, do tasks that only matter because she's told they do, sleep, repeat. Emilie was born into a rich family, which immediately means expectations. I'm assuming that she was kept pretty isolated aside from eventually starting school, so the only emotional connection Emilie formed in her early life was her sister, Amelie. She does genuinely care about her sister in a way that Emilie just can't bring herself to for her parents or staff, though she is nice to the latter and appreciates the work they do for her. Her parents are just stuck-up snobs but who cares? And so, Emilie shows this care the only way she knows how. Being perfect. Excelling at everything she does, getting the top grades in class, you all know the drill. The only thing she doesn't have is friends, and hangs out mostly with her sister. But even with Amelie, who she feels very strongly for...Emilie has a hard time expressing these feelings. For an example, see this flashback when they are sitting together in the garden:

“Sister…do you love me?” Amelie asks in a soft tone, her voice barely loud enough not to be carried away by the wind. Emilie recalls that she must have been... ten, maybe closer to eleven? And in all her admittedly few years, she never felt her heart stop beating as suddenly as when she registered Amelie’s words. “It’s- it’s just- …m’ sorry, Em. I… I don’t know, but whenever you smile at me...” the girl lets out a tiny sigh, nervously fidgeting with a stray strand of platinum-blonde hair. “It’s the same smile mum has when people are coming over…”

Emilie remembers it as clear as day—the way that the soft blades of gray grass between her fingers felt as if they’d been sharpened enough to draw out blood. Why…why would Am ever think she didn’t love her? Emile had done everything she was expected to do! She kept up her good grades like father wanted, always smiled and politely socialized with mum’s friends and family whenever they came over, and- …and she’d been nice to Amelie. Her twin sister, the constant presence in her life that truly felt like family…did not seem to think so. Or, maybe, Emilie had messed up somehow and given her the same bland niceness that the world would present her with day in and day out. But what else could she do? Wasn’t this what family meant? Just... be nice to one another and keep up with what was asked?

And over here, notice the way Emilie thinks of herself as a corpse, as not alive, even at such a young age:

“I- I’m sorry, Am,” she manages to whisper, even as confusion washes over Emilie’s mind. But…this is her sister. The one person who might understand how she feels about all of this, how the world itself registers only in dull shades of gray, how she can barely tell cold and hot apart, or how her heart sometimes feels like it’s stopped beating for hours at a time. “It’s hard for me to feel,” Emilie says, in the same reserved tone that’s always marked her sister’s voice.

And yes, obviously I know I'm the writer of the whole Au. I'm not patting myself on the back with these scenes, I'm just trying to get the point across. Emilie's life has always been that same dull grey, and the only people who can make it go away are Amelie, Adrien, Nathalie, and (to a lesser extent) Gabriel. She's been wearings masks her whole life, trying to be accepted by others but knowing that nobody would ever like who she truly is. And when she's alone...the thoughts come back, she can't tell if she is alive to begin with. Quote from the fic:

"Oftentimes, Emilie isn’t even able to feel her own heartbeat, never mind registering the expanding and collapsing of her lungs with every breath. When left alone and with nothing to catch her eye, Emilie could easily fool herself into thinking she’s some kind of undead or a ghost haunting the manor’s halls with twisted, quickly-fading memories."

Just to be clear here, Emilie suffers from deep depression. She feels isolated and alone, depending on the very few people who are perceptive enough to see even a tiny bit under her many masks, and she gets extremely attached very quickly. She isn't unable to love, since she (at the timeframe of the fic) has started to fall for Nathalie despite actively trying to manipulate her, but it's an extremely difficult mental situation to even begin dealing with. Emilie has hyperfocused on her family, and especially Adrien, her son. She isn't possessive and does genuinely love him, but there are obvious complications with their relationship. I'll get to that in a bit, but let's backtrack to her childhood one last time.

Emilie has absolutely no moral qualms with murder. Wow, that is a special combination of sentences right there! But in all seriousness, she thinks in a purely black-and-white kind of way. Emilie's #1 priority are her people, and for them she would burn the world to cinders. If anybody even looks at Amelie wrong, they will be wiped off the map for no reason other than the fact that this person was percieved as a danger. Emilie is that level of extreme in her protective streak. To give a few examples related to her sister, right after that flashback between the two of them, Emily recalls finding out that a slightly older girl was bullying her sister at school. And in a move that would make Ashley Graves proud, she straight up murders that child. No hesitation, no grievances, no regret. That girl was a threat to Amelie, and got swiftly eliminated. No questions asked, even at the grand-old age of 11.

Furthermore, Colt Fathom is straight-up dead in this Au. Emilie killed him when she came to visit her sister and nephew, staging a company emergency and sabotaging both his car engine and breaks, just to make sure. Can't take any chances with Colt of all people. Again, another threat to her sister eliminated, with Amelie's (implied) knowledge and support. The only reason she didn't kill him before the wedding is because Amelie personally convinced Emilie that she was willing to take on the burden for their family's sake. And also to use Colt's connections behind his back. Who doesn't love a good scheme?

Now...Gabriel and Nathalie never realized who exactly they were dealing with. It's worth mentioning here that Nathalie was actually Emilie's college roomate, and Gabriel was studying in the same university. Little detail, but I wanted to add it because Emilie canonically went to France to further her education. And Amelie got to work making friends in high places while Colt was busy in the 'murican bars downtown or something. Listen, all my homies hate Colt Fathom, and all you need to know is that the police didn't find enough of him to put in a casket. Anyway, Nathalie was studying business and finance, Emilie and Gabriel studied creative arts, and they met during their college years. The thing is, Emilie did love Gabriel. Only...not exactly the way he loved her. Quote again:

"Ever since she’d met him, Gabriel had been downright lovely. Polite, bookish, and a little nerdy, but with a creative spark powerful enough to bring forth an inferno of passion for his work. And he was also very loyal, most of all to the pretty popular girl who’d taken an interest in him and decided to befriend him in their first few days of college. Gabriel Agreste had turned out to be far more than just an interesting critter, and he was admittedly one of the extremely few people in this world Emilie had ever felt for, even if she was not fully able to reciprocate his feelings. Well…not in the way that Gabriel wanted, at least. Of course she loved him, hence why she obviously married him later on in life, but the man was…more of a cute, adorable puppy than a husband. If she were to put it crudely, Gabriel was far too easy when it came to matters of the heart."

Yeah...poor guy didn't notice the Yandere even after he married her. Also, another detail is that the reason why Emilie even took interest in Gabriel is because he saw through almost all her masks, believe it or not. Aside from the rampant psychopathy and slightly murderous tendencies, Emilie Graham De Vanily was an open book to him. Oh well, sometimes she ends up being crazy! What can you do? But anyway, worth mentioning that this Gabriel is far closer to his Reverse!Gabriel counterpart in terms of personality, and never acts in the callous, cold way we see in canon. Granted, we don't see what he was like before Emilie's canonical demise, but I don't like leaving room for implications on this matter. So you get your Good Parent Gabriel Agreste tag and you'll like it too!

As for Nathalie...there's an entire four and half posts' worth of ranting to do, so I'll just leave you with what the fic already has for now. Suffice it to say, she's very much into Emilie but knows she shouldn't be. I'm sure that with Empress trying to emotionally manipulate her into keeping the basement fridge life support pod thing a secret, that's going to go very well! Especially when the villainess herself is accidentally falling in love with Mayura! The Eminath is extremely strong with this one...

But anyway, about Adrien! Considering that even in canon, Emilie still wore his Amok-ring inside her sleeping pod, it's obvious that this Emilie will be wearing it too, right? Absolutely! And guess what? Thanks to a little help from an Akumatized Nathalie (prior to Origins in this Au), she magically enchanted the ring to make it literally impossible to unwillingly remove from her finger for as long as she's alive. Control issues, much? Seriously though, she does love Adrien very deeply, and does her best to be a mother. Emilie knows that he loves her back, and absorbs that love the same way a starved wolf devours fresh meat. She isn't oppressive and does her best to give him certain freedoms...but Adrien also never went to school in this Au. In her defense, she'd have little issue with it normally, but Emilie also wants to start her supervillainess career on the same year...and the thought of Adrien being caught in the crossfire genuinely terrifies her. Plus, in canon he does get involved in several Akuma attacks because of Gabriel, so... He still manages to get out of the house long enough to bump into Fu, hence Chat Noir, but doesn't ever meet Marinette and co. Not even for the Gum Incident.

In that case...hello Marichat! But again, that's for another Games of Innocence post. Today we focus on our resident Yandere! Believe me, it will become extremely evident why I call Emilie that once I post about her relationship with Nathalie/Mayura. Just trust me on this one. Back to Adrien, his dearly beloved mother is very much that. Beloved. But he is slowly starting to understand that something might be wrong with his home life, and tries to talk to Emilie about it.

This, I think, is an excellent time to talk about the color-coding in this Au. In a lot of my works I incorporate color theory and those meanings into stuff like aura colors, presences, Luka Vision™ (listen my hc is he has Synesthesia), etc. Obviously Adrien is supposed to be a vibrant green. Fresh start, new life, we've heard this all before. And Emilie...as Empress, she is a dark purple, because she's embracing her mystic side, and going absolutely wild with any and all magic shenanigans involving the Miraculous. But like I said above...in those moments where she's alone, not clinging to Adrien's side, or talking to Nathalie, or spending time with Nooroo...she's a dull, dead grey. The same tone that's haunted her since childhood. As a side note, Emilie doesn't abuse her Kwami. Nooroo actually thinks they could be good friends. You know, if she'd drop the quest for ultimate power and all.

Speaking of that, as far as Nathalie knows, this is all for the sake of bringing Gabriel back to life. Which...is true, yes. He's Adrien's father and Emilie did marry him, even if as "just a friend". She did actually have feelings for him by the way, just supressed them to avoid hurting herself when she realized he wasn't seeing her psycho side and then convinced herself that said emotions were better off locked up in the back of her mind. Never again...until Nathalie. But anyway! Emilie's main goal is Unlimited Power!!! Why? Shits and giggles, of course! She can do it, it's really fun to play this game with Ladybug and Chat Noir, and Akumatizing people just feels so intimate!

Do not get me wrong here! The reason why Emilie is obsessed with Akumatizations is because she loves going into people's heads and manipulating them! It's not weird, just the only coping mechanism she had in her entire childhood! Bless Amelie for giving her at least that... But yeah, Emilie basically treats the whole Akuma Shenanigans™ is her personal reality tv show, coupled with as much drama and action as anyone could ask for! And she gets to control the narrative! Plus, there's times where Emilie lets the Akuma do their thing just to see what might happen. Evillustrator is a prime example here, but that's part of the Marichat post so I won't get into it here.

Okay, okay. This rant is getting way too long. TL;DR: Emilie Agreste is kinda insane but still a better parent that canon Gabriel! I am currently working on the finale for this fic, because the ending is the best part and I want to share it with you all! In the meantime, feel free to send me as many asks abt this Au as you want! I'll be more than happy to have an excuse for more ranting! Anyway, I'll be seeing you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

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palatial-monstrosity · 1 year ago

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So you wanna write a novel…

I decided to write this after a post by @corpsepng asking how people plan their stories. It got out of hand so I made a separate post!

This is the system I used for planning, which is the result of mixing various strategies and amount of planning. The concern that "if I plan everything then I do not feel motivated to write" is valid and good news, there's ways to defeat that specific situation while reaping the benefits of planning the story beforehand.

THE BASICS

Step 1: the main character

Disclaimer: for simplicity, I'll assume only one main character but it can be adapted for more.

It's useful to know a few things about your mc before starting. Try to answer these questions:

Who are they? What does a typical day of their life look like? (ex, are we talking about a young wizard, a 50s housewife or a grizzled old warrior?)

What are they good at? (everyone is good at something, no matter how small and unimportant it may seem)

What do they want? Everyone wants something, even if it's just peace and quiet.

What do they lose if they quit? This will tell us a lot about the stakes of the story. Ultimately, is it about survival, belonging, respect, etc? It has to be quite important for your character, because if they change, they do it to save it.

What is their main flaw? This will greatly influence the story, so spend some time on this. In the context of your story a characteristic may be a flaw even if we would see things differently: maybe your character needs to become a cold-blooded killer to protect their family, maybe they need to be less generous, maybe they trust people too much… remember, context is king here.

Step 2: the environment

Who is their main antagonist? It could also be nature, magic or some organization, but there has to be someone opposing your character or there's no story.

How do they behave? What makes them succeed (until they don't, or they do)?

What is the setting? Again, go for the meaning here, not just the aesthetic. If your character needs to become a cold-blooded killer, maybe they're surrounded by monsters, zombies or something else that cannot be reasoned with. Or maybe you can reason with them and your MC has been successful in the past and thinks that's possible, until it doesn't work anymore…

Step 3: The ending

You need to know how the story ends, my friends. Some minor details may change, but the more you know about it, the easier the work is (and the less you'd have to rewrite, which is frustrating)

THE BASIC STRUCTURE

Once you have these elements, I strongly suggest you become familiar with the character arc, as it will be a useful guideline. You can divide your story in 5 or 3 parts, as you prefer, both work (I'm currently using a 5 acts structure).

Here's a very quick outline:

1 ACT The basics. Introduce the character and make us root for them, tell us what's happening and how it will affect them. Show us their flaw and we'll put 2 and 2 together. Introduce the main allies and antagonist, though you can add more important characters later.

2 ACT Your character tries to solve their new problem (bring the ring to Mordor, fight against the evil Empire, etc) and fails. They lack allies or refuse them.

3 ACT A huge failure makes them sit and stop for a moment - they either change for the better, or go down the road to tragedy (I am simplifying things a lot here) If they change, allow them to catch their breath as a reward.

4 ACT Their change was not complete/perfect and now the antagonist has become harder to fight. Your MC is on the road to failure again, one last time. And this time, everything seems lost. Hope seems to disappear.

5 ACT Your MC finds hope again, and finds out how to win against the antagonist. Not everything is lost. They regain old (and new) allies and fight. It is hard and there are losses, but they have changed (where, we might add, the antagonist has not), and they win. Or they don't, if you set them on a path to tragedy.

Once you've sketched a rough outline of these acts, the fun begins!

Take the first act and divide it in chapters, taking notes of what you want to show. I do this scene by scene, but in a very simple way. I might write "MC fights, he is injured because he refuses to kill his enemy" and this will be my way to show that his flaw is that he is too merciful. I do not go into details about the fight just yet.

Once you finished this for the first act, pick your very first scene. This will be the hardest one as it needs to set, well, everything. Where are we, who is the mc, etc. This might need a few rewrites. Once you've chosen what you want to show, I want you to THINK about it. All the fucking time. At the bus stop, in traffic, in the shower, at lunch, whatever. Think about how you'd write it. How would you start it, how will you show us that it's night and we are in a deep dark forest, or that we're in an office building at dawn, whatever. The first scene might take a few days of this, but it will be easier as you go. It is important that you get at the very least one night of sleep between the thinking and the writing as sleep organizes stuff in your mind. Only then, sit down and write that specific scene. You will notice that it will be different from how you originally planned it: maybe you added a side character, maybe you decided it's not night but sunset, etc. Your brain will give you new ideas! And that's great. After you've written that, well, start thinking about the next scene, and so on, and so on… I currently manage the thinking for the next scene + the writing in the same day ( I write first thing in the morning so I get that part out of my brain).

MISCELLANEOUS ADVICE

your character's opinion aren't your opinions. get crazy, it will be fun.

everything you write will be on your mc's point of view, so they will notice things differently than you would. They might notice things that are ordinary for us, or they might have different views on things like religion, family, sexuality, etc.

Recommended reading

It's just three books, read at the very least the first two books as they will be incredibly useful for the character arc and to write compelling characters:

Inside Story: The Power of the Transformational Arc: The Secret to Crafting Extraordinary Screenplays by Dara Marks

The Science of Storytelling: Why Stories Make Us Human, and How to Tell Them Better by Will Storr

Into The Woods: How Stories Work and Why We Tell Them by John Yorke

#writing

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anonofseasons · 2 years ago

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Subject of spanking in fiction ahead, just to warn.

Important: I am not posting this so I can hear justifications, and if you wanna argue, go elsewhere. For me, IRL spanking is either consensual or condemned. I will never budge on my stance. That said, I seem to be incapable of writing stories that don't reflect those values? It's a personal comfort issue. I strongly believe that fiction doesn't mean endorsement 1=1. The issue? I've encountered too many spankos who've... definitely endorsed spanking as a punishment. It makes me wildly uncomfortable. Prickly. I have my defenses up because of that. I'm sure some people passed on Seasons because they felt bogged down like they were reading a lecture, but this is me keeping to boundaries that make me comfortable. My stories are often about surviving in a world full of accepted abuse while living through trauma. Enduring abuse. I seem to be incapable of writing loving spankings in fiction unless they're between adult couples. Haha. Seasons is just more graphic with the childhood punishment descriptions than I usually share with the public. Not to say I haven't, but writing one spanking scene here and there is a lot less than what comes up in Seasons. And while I often see people talk about how annoying disclaimers are on fiction, and I somewhat agree, I also think about all those encounters I mentioned earlier, and... disclaimers make me feel comforted when I'm reading spanking fiction! I really don't want to read a spanking story and find out the author advocates for it IRL. And since I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way, I also put up my own disclaimers. (I'm none too hopeful that it'll keep me from being harassed for what I write, but it's an attempt to curb that too.) I love spanking between adults in fiction, too, consensual or not. Can be sexual, can be pure punishment, can be both. Hence the reason I damn well know writing something doesn't automatically mean endorsement, since IRL adults need to consent. That's why I get that people can create works of fiction (art, writing, otherwise) that don't necessarily mean they're advocating for it IRL. But what I want to write is what I want to write. I can't make the kids hug and say, "I love you!" afterward, because that's not true to myself. Just as for someone else, that's a part of their stories they enjoy adding! There are no wrongs in the fiction, for whatever works for people. Always write the story you want to tell. It's solid, universal writing advice. (Whereas most writing advice is often garbage that only works for a handful of people, haha.) I'm just here to shamelessly channeling a lot of things into my characters! 😂

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lavender-annd-lilac · 2 years ago

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Lol ok….. 😮‍💨so I was going to send this in on anon (bc I’m a coward and have no confidence in my own opinion lmao), and then do my usual memes and whatever in the comments to stay On Brand like any internet savvy citizen.

but then it got super long and I was like…. Ok whatever y’all can roast me haha nothing will hurt me more than the result of Spain vs Germany yesterday 😭

⚠️NOT my usual disclaimer: long post, not funny (not intentionally anyway 😭), uneducated but strongly held opinions, etc. ⚠️

Oh wait I actually do have one joke before we start just to break the ice 😅

How much does a polar bear weigh

Q: What goes around?

A: A rope! And it goes around my neck! Bc it’s a noose! Bc I spent an inappropriate amount of time thinking about this fictional scenario! Seriously I could have imagined up like 5 Goncharovs in the time it took to write this out somewhat coherently lol

Anyway here is my potentially problematic(?) take lmao:

I kind of feel bad for Beth???? Like some real anti-hero level sympathy going on here. 😳😳😳

Lol jk (I wish)

But here’s a visual TL;DR if u don’t want to waste the next 15 min of your life deciphering my TED Talk :

So obvi the whole timing of the announcement was a shitty thing to do to your bff BUT we’ve all done dumb shit in our early 20’s and like, readers dad is a grown ass man so…. who do y’all think the power dynamic favours there 😬

Just thinking back to my own college days, I definitely did a lot of hurtful things to other ppl but it wasn’t out of spite, and I don’t think Beth did what she did with any kind of bad intent. 😣

College friendships are also weird

u initially bond with ur roommate(s) out of necessity (esp if u don’t know anyone else on campus)

I’m not saying it can’t grow into a genuine relationship, but u are kind of thrown together by rng

after u both get over that initial “omg we have to cling to each other bc everything is new and scary” phase, things can change. 🫣

Like, maybe u discover u don’t actually have a lot in common, and u start to grow apart but still hang out a lot bc u feel a sense of loyalty to that person, or out of comfort/familiarity, and bc u are probably still friends even if u don’t connect to them as much as when u first met.

Also there’s just so much happening at that stage in your life, u won’t necessarily notice if one person is more invested in the friendship.

It’s kind of assumed you’re on the same page ??? until someone doesn’t get invited to a party or something and while the other person didn’t see it as a big deal lol.

Based on reader’s narrative, it seemed like she was more invested in the friendship than Beth to begin with ?? She was like 🔥ride or die🔥, while Beth appeared to have a larger friend circle or social group.

I also think reader has more emotional awareness than Beth so she was more perceptive of these slight shifts in their dynamic - while for Beth it was more of a friendship of convenience?

(And I don’t mean convenience in a “I’m just using u” way, but like in the way that u might make friends with ur co workers bc it makes the workplace environment better, but u wouldn’t necessarily seek out their friendship if u weren’t co workers.)

At that age (or maybe this is just my experience as a spoiled only child scorpio) I was also pretty emotionally dense (and kind of still am at times haha it’s hard to pick up on cues idk) 😅 I wasn’t a modelesque popular girl by any means, but I was lucky to find a great group of friends that I probably took for granted at the time 😥

Like call me a pie crust bc I would literally just flake or completely ghost people if I got into one of those anxiety/0 emotional bandwidth left moods 😑 which could last for days or weeks or months. And it wasn’t bc I didn’t value their friendship - it was more like I underestimated how much they valued my presence in the friend group if that makes sense? 🥺

In my head, I just assumed it would be no big deal if I skip this movie night our friends planned bc that’s how I would think if someone didn’t show up - like, whatever, no worries, see u at the next one girl lol. But to that friend group it was hurtful bc it came off as me not caring about the effort they put into choosing the movies and snacks and everything. 😓

So I understand reader being upset about getting the brush off from Beth leading up to the relationship reveal, but I can also see Beth not realizing how her friend felt unless reader was direct about it and said like “hey, are we ok? I feel like we’ve been kind of distant lately”

I mean… Ideally reader wouldn’t HAVE to say it directly like that and Beth would pick up on context clues but some of us are socially inept and need a neon sign 😅

As for the relationship w reader’s dad, I honestly don’t see Beth as being “the bitch” here. Like, it’s not one of those scenarios where a girl purposely seeks out her friends dad for some petty affair like the “might seduce your dad type” Billie Eyelash sings about

Alexa play,

Also going to give u the Justin Bieber version so u can see how he literally adds nothing and Billie is a star on her own

Anyway, I feel like when u are just out of college it’s really flattering to get a attention from an older man and even if Beth had a ton of flings before, this is prob what she sees as her first serious relationship….so she’s likely letting reader’s dad’s lead when it comes to “what should we tell ur daughter” or “when should we tell her”. I can also see Beth trusting reader’s dad more than her own friend just bc she’s under the impression that this guy knows best, esp if her comparison point is like frat boys doing lines of coke off her ass (Ransom, was that u?👀)

Announcing their relationship at the party was beyond gauche but again, I’m just going to say…. the dad should have the emotional IQ and life experience to know better. 😤😤😤

It’s a bigger betrayal from him IMO bc he’s been in his daughter’s position before, so he should have been like, “oh, I know it would have pissed me off if my parent dropped a bombshell at what is supposed to be a celebratory moment, so I won’t do that to my daughter, even if my much younger gf thinks it’s ok”.

Plus, at this point everyone knows except reader right? So if readers dad is very nonchalant about their relationship, and Bucky didn’t really protest either (like he said, he thought he would be a hypocrite if he did 😒 I’ll drag him for this later lol), then basically all the “adults” around Beth are treating it like no big thing…

So…., she would prob get the impression that being casual about it is the “mature” thing to do, which is why she interprets readers negative reaction as “immaturity”. 😫

I get ppl having their pitchforks out and wanting the reader to embarrass Beth like how she felt Beth embarrassed her, but I think a lot of of that anger is misplaced???😟

Also, If reader was Beth’s closest friend and they weren’t even that close at the end, Beth wouldn’t have had anyone to really talk to while the relationship was starting? Which just seems sad 😔

The men seem like the most problematic ones here tbh.

Like reader’s dad - dude u are the one who should have thought about how your daughter would be affected… Beth is her friend, but you are the parent here lmaoo 😂

And as for Bucky - ok ya u might not have the closest relationship with ur daughter, but ugghhhh, don’t act like u couldn’t have tried to talk to her🙄

When he says shit like:

Truth is, I can’t control what Beth does. She stopped listening to me a long time ago. And if I tried to force her to let Dave go, it would make her want him more,

I was like are u fucking kidding me😠 (also, just bc u preface something by saying “truth is” doesn’t make it the goddamn truth lol)

First of all, maybe she stopped listening bc ur go to approach is apparently to “force her” to do this thing or that thing?

Dude, u don’t have to force anyone to do shit!!! 😡😡😡

He’s making it seem like the only options are for him to grant her permission to do something, or to forbid her from doing something.

Ok…..I missed the part where we time travelled back to medieval Europe??? 😱😱😱What happened to having conversations with ur child??

When he called her “bratty” I was like ok sir, that’s YOUR own daughter like why do u think she turned out that way huh????🤔

Ofc children have their own personalities but a parent also has a role in shaping that personality so pls don’t throw her under the bus like u had nothing to do with her upbringing, or u just like gave up at some point and stopped caring how she turned out????

And then him basically being like Beth didn’t want a stepmother and ppl don’t want to date me bc I have a bratty daughter… WTF? That’s some sympathy for the devil BS 😑

Don’t act like u can’t do shit when it comes to influencing ur daughter’s decisions, but then she suddenly has all the veto power when it comes to your love life like “dad, I don’t want a step mom, u are forbidden to date”

And u don’t have a “bratty daughter”, u have a daughter who is a young adult ok. Don’t act like she’s some hairy mole on ur face scaring all the ladies off… SHEESH

NEWSFLASH: Adults with adult kids do get remarried… like, dating might not be as easy as when u were a single dude but guess what? Ur not a single dude, ur a single dad. And how did that happen again? Who’s the one responsible for ur life choices?? How about u look in the fucking mirror u whiny bitch lol I am mad about this 🙄

I’m not a parent so obvi my opinion is worth very little haha, but….just bc u think u won’t be able to dissuade ur child from doing something doesn’t mean ur only choice is to silently stand by and let it happen???

Like, let them know how u feel at least ???

Maybe it won’t change their decision, but it might change how they go about making their decision, or how they handle things afterwards. Don’t just assume they won’t listen to u, or they will interpret it in some reverse psychology way man…. Why u playing mind games w ur offspring lol

But I mean what can we expect from a guy who says

You know how relieved Dave was that I didn’t beat the shit out of him over Beth? Or that I didn’t push him away as a friend?

Like, ok bro this is your good (?) friend and you want to handle the situation by beating the shit out of him or shunning him? Sure, if that’s your first thought after you find out, it’s normal to be angry. But he’s had some time to process it and this is STILL how he sees the situation??!

And his justification??? OOOOOHHH BOY. He didn’t confront Dave or his daughter bc he “didn’t want to be a hypocrite”???

Translation: he wanted to bang his friends daughter while still being able to take the moral high road afterwards and be like “well I never judged u for doing the same thing”

Talk about having your cake and eating it too 🙄

He passed on the opportunity to have a conversation with 2 people that probably needed some kind of outside opinion/feedback (whether they wanted it or not), just to leave the door open for him to get his dick wet, and not have to “feel bad” about it later.

The heck??? 😤

I mean at least reader acknowledges that the situation is messed up and admits to herself that she just did what she was mad at Beth for. At least she isn’t going all scorched earth like, oh, those two did something “wrong” so now anything goes and I can do whatever I want.

And Bucky painting it as “aren’t u tired of being good” like it’s some black and white situation??? He’s implying that Dave and Beth did something “bad”/are bad ppl which I feel is unfair.

Ya they handled it poorly but there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with two consenting adults being in a relationship with an age gap???

It’s not just like, abstaining from desire = being good, giving in to desire = bad 😒

Oh hang on, we’re getting a phone call…

📞Ring ring…. ring ring….Hello? Oh it’s for Bucky - The Catholic Church called, they said they want their rhetoric back

🙄

What’s so “good” about secretly lusting over your friend’s daughter for years and then hardcore judging your friend for doing what u didn’t have the nerve to do, and THEN not saying anything to anyone and letting a ticking time bomb explode just so u can use the ensuing emotional chaos to act on your desires huh??? HUH???

Even if we frame the Dave/Beth relationship as “bad” or problematic… it’s like watching your friend gamble away his life savings at the casino and not saying a word bc u also want to blow all ur money at the casino, but don’t to be judged for for it??? That’s some mutually assured destruction shit.

💥🤯

Reader and Beth both deserve better parents and like, I just feel sad Beth is getting the majority of hate when I genuinely feel she’s the least responsible for causing harm out of the unholy trinity of dumbasses here.

Beth’s worst crime is that she’s an impulsive girl in her early 20’s who made a self centred decision and chose a guy over her friend.

🤷‍♀️

The other two? Two middle aged adults who want to pursue a relationship with each others 20 y/o children but lack either the will or the ability or the emotional awareness to give a damn about how their closest friends and family will be affected???

Send those fools back to clown school bc that shit ain’t funny

🤡

Haha ya anyway just like some casual thoughts 😮‍💨 why didn’t I just go with memes fucking hell lol

What Goes Around

Pairing: BFD/DBF!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky is your friend's dad and your dad's friend and nothing more. Until he isn't. Word Count: Over 6.2k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, vaginal unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), semi-public sex, possessive behavior, dirty talk, light Daddy kink, age gap (reader is in early 20's and Bucky late 40's), arguing, light violence, swearing, conflicted reader (everything is consensual!), everyone is a mess, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?). A/N: Woohoo! Stepped out of my comfort zone a bit on this and I'm so proud! Thank you to @sweeterthanthis , @dreamlessinparis , @buckyownsmylife, @targaryenvampireslayer , @christywantspizza , @sgt-seabass , @lookiamtrying for listening to me ramble about this. Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby (thank you as well), but any and all mistakes are my own. Banner and moodboard by yours truly. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated! ***Any soft!dark undertones are unintentional as everything is consensual.***

You met Bethany Barnes your freshman year of college. While some of the girls on your floor knew each other, you went off to university not knowing a soul and had to be assigned a roommate. Your nerves shot up when you walked into the shared room. Beth, as she preferred to be called, was intimidatingly beautiful. You hadn't met any supermodels, but she could've chosen that as her profession with her tall, slender build, long auburn hair, and sparkling blue eyes.

Your nervousness faded when she smiled and gave you a hug, after asking if it was okay.

"You're here!" she smiled more when she pulled away, looking over your shoulder at who you thought was your dad. "By the closet."

You weren't normally stunned silent by looking at a person, but that was what happened when you met James "Bucky" Barnes. With the beard and quiet confidence in which he carried himself, you would've mistaken him for a professor had it not been for the fact that he was in the dormitory. Call it instant attraction or lust, but you found yourself openly staring at the handsome man as he carried a box into the room. He gazed at you, too, or so you thought. Your mind may have been playing tricks on you.

"Dad, quit staring at my roommate. That's weird."

The needle on the record scratched. Her dad. You could see where she got her good looks. He was taller and broader, his hair dark brown instead of auburn, and eyes a deeper shade of blue. One of the hottest men to ever grace the earth, if anyone asked for your opinion.

It didn't matter how good looking he was. This was Beth's dad. It put him in the "look, but don't touch" column.

Your dad, Dave, appeared moments later and introduced himself. Bucky was kind enough to help him with the rest of your stuff and even offered to buy lunch. While he didn't look the least bit upset about leaving, it was clear your dad was having a tough time holding it together and even had tears in his eyes. You understood. It was the two of you for so long and now you were out the door.

Beth put a hand on his arm and gave him a small smile to ease his worries.

"Hey. Your daughter and I will look out for each other, okay? You have nothing to worry about. Plus, I think we're going to be good friends."

She was right.

To your surprise, you discovered that Beth only lived about an hour away from your hometown. Like you, Beth didn't know anyone, but she was friendly and welcoming. Definitely more outgoing than you would ever be. Her popularity grew quickly, but the two of you were there for each other like she promised. While you had lost your mother, hers took off when she was so young she couldn't even remember her face. Bucky did the best he could to raise her. Like your dad had done for you.

Maybe that was why they became such good friends, too.

The two of you traded off different weekends at each other's houses when you left campus and spent a few holidays together. You did a couple of summer trips with your dads doing their best not to be overbearing. Eventually Beth joined a sorority and moved into the chapter's house, so you no longer lived together. Bucky suggested that your dad move closer to his place when he decided to sell the house, that way everyone could still spend time together.

"You wouldn't mind, would you?" your dad asked at the time.

You didn't at the time. It still gave everyone a chance to hang out and your dad seemed to need it more than you. He admired Bucky for being self-made, having a nice house, and a good job. It was as if the man's confidence rubbed off on him. He began to dress better and get in shape. He mentioned possibly dating again, which you encouraged. Your dad deserved to be happy.

You couldn't have predicted it would all go to hell after graduation.

You nursed your wine as you sat at the bar, staring into the abyss of the liquid as you swirled it around. Maybe if you looked long enough, you'd forget about tonight. It should have been an evening of celebration for you. Nothing major, but it was something that meant the world to you.

"I think you need something stronger."

You stayed silent when you turned to your right, slightly surprised when you saw none other than Bucky take a seat beside you. The citrus scent of his cologne filled your nostrils when he moved his stool close enough that your knees touched. Up close, even with the dim bar lightning, you could see the gray hairs in his trimmed beard and perfectly coiffed brown hair. Of all the people you expected to see, he certainly wasn't one of them.

"What are you doing here?" you asked.

"I thought you could use a friend."

"Are we friends?" You asked softly.

Hurt flashed in his eyes, which filled you with guilt. "I thought we were."

You weren't sure if you would label Bucky as a friend, but you cared for the man. He had been good to you over the years, staying up with you and watching movies when you couldn't sleep or listening to you ramble on about your papers, internship, resume, while Beth pampered herself. He gave advice when you asked and listened when you only wanted to talk.

You didn't need to be rude to him.

"We are," you wanted to assure him and you felt a bit better when his shoulders relaxed. "How did you even know where to find me?"

"You rushed off before dinner started and you mentioned that you liked this place," he replied, like it was obvious. "We were supposed to be celebrating. We didn't get all dressed up for nothing," he teased, gesturing to himself and drawing your attention to his large body as you smiled a little.

Over the last few years, you got used to seeing different looks from him. Jeans and shirts tight enough to see the muscles underneath, sweatpants that hung low enough to let the imagination wander, swim trunks when you went on vacation, and even the occasional suit. He opted for a dark blue suit tonight that matched his eyes, but skipped the tie. It wasn't a look many could pull off and he did it with ease.

You blinked and shook your head, trying not to pay attention to how good he looked. Just because you were upset didn't mean you had a right to check him out. It was wrong to be attracted to him and you refused to acknowledge it. Mainly because he was one of your dad's best friends and one of your best friend's dads.

No, she's not my best friend. Not anymore.

“We even kind of match,” he smiled to himself.

You glanced down at your short, sleeveless dress. It wasn’t revealing or flashy, but you felt beautiful in it. The shade of blue was close to his suit. Part of you felt silly for dressing up for a simple dinner.

"I guess we do," you said softly, looking at your glass again.

“Surprised the boys aren’t lining up for a chance with you,” he said.

You snorted, thankful you didn’t take a sip of your wine. You would’ve spit it out. “The boys have never lined up for me, but it’s okay. I’m used to it.”

Boys usually talked to you to get closer to Beth.

“Their loss,” Bucky said sincerely as he held up a couple of fingers for the bartender.

“And we have nothing to celebrate,” you said, not wanting to dwell on your sad dating history.

"Bullshit," he said, ordering two shots of whiskey and setting some money on the counter once the bartender came over. "You got a job at Stark Industries. I'm proud of you."

Your cheeks heated at the praise. "Thank you," you said, sparing him a glance when he passed you a glass. "I already have a drink.”

“And I said it isn’t strong enough,” he hesitated as he picked up his own. “Beth said you weren’t much of a drinker. Not even on your 21st birthday. You were a good girl, weren’t you?”

You were conflicted as you listened. Did Bucky mean for that to be an innuendo? You chose to focus on Beth instead, and how angry you felt. How many nights did you hold her hair back while she puked?

“You're right. We should celebrate."

Bucky gave you a worried look as you picked up your drink.

Your cheeks ached from your wide smile. "To my dad and your daughter fucking each other. Cheers!"

You might as well address the elephant in the room since he wouldn't.

He frowned when you downed the shot, the burn spreading from the back of your throat to your chest. You half expected him to see a clench in his jaw or an embarrassed blush in his cheeks, but he merely threw his drink back and slammed the glass down when he finished. "You sure you don't want to do another toast? I don't think the entire bar heard you."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to make a scene. I did that already, remember?"

You hadn't seen Beth in months since you graduated. Neither of you landed dream jobs right away, but you did find temporary work to help cover the rent for your new place. You wanted to be independent and your dad supported you. But your friend hadn’t even seen your place.

Any time you reached out to meet up, she made an excuse why she couldn't join you or bailed at the last minute if she agreed. At first, you didn't take any offense. You figured she met a guy. She got like that sometimes over boys, but she had never gone that long without hanging out with you.

Maybe she had outgrown you after college.

Your dad sensed that you missed Beth and assured you that you'd see her soon. He planned a special dinner to celebrate you getting a job at Stark Industries. Beth promised she wouldn't miss it. You thought it was strange how easily she accepted your dad's invitation, but you discovered quickly that she wasn't there for you in the first place.

"Sweetie," your dad began as he slipped an arm around Beth's waist. "We have something we want to talk to you about. Beth and I are, well, we're seeing each other. Now I know that may be difficult to hear, especially since I haven't seen anyone serious since your mother, but…"

Your dad used to describe you as amicable and well-behaved when someone asked him about his daughter. No matter what life threw your way, you did your best to be friendly and stay out of trouble. It could have been before your mother was always kind and you did your best to follow in her footsteps. It often meant putting the needs of others before your own, but it never bothered you.

Until tonight.

Until you saw the ring on Beth's finger.

Beth, the girl who flashed boys from her sorority house window and blew off studying. The same girl who cried with you on the anniversary of your mom's death. She was going to marry your dad.

A slow moving storm began to swirl in your mind. You managed to hear your dad say that they began seeing each other the night of graduation and promised it wasn't sooner. It explained why Beth had blown you off all that time. They were trying to figure out how to tell you, but all they did was lie.

Outrage was a foreign feeling to you and you didn't know how to channel it. Were you supposed to scream? Cry? All you knew was that it clawed at your insides until it broke free.

Whatever you yelled was enough to make your dad step back in shock and Beth grab your arm to drag you outside. The porch light illuminated her enough to see the anger etched on her face. You didn't even recognize her.

"What the fuck? You've been fucking my dad?!" you yelled, snatching your arm back from her.

"Yeah, I'm fucking your dad!" she yelled back.

"How did this even happen?!" you demanded to know, immediately regretting asking a second later.

"After your graduation dinner, we were drinking and I said I always thought he was hot and-"

"God, stop!" you shrieked, covering your ears until her mouth stopped moving. "So, you two have been sneaking around behind my back and lying to me for months?!"

"We had to because we knew you'd lose your shit! I knew you wouldn’t be mature about this!"

You trembled as you took a step back. You weren't used to yelling or being yelled at. There were times that you and Beth bickered, but it was nothing like this.

And, of course, you'd lose your shit. What did she honestly expect? Was she the real reason your dad began to take better care of himself over the years?

"Why?" You asked almost timidly, a contrast to how you shouted moments ago. "I don't want to sound cliché, but you can have anyone you want. Why him?"

"Because I want him," she said unapologetically.

Beth, in the time you knew her, was never afraid to go after what or who she wanted. She also went all in with guys. She didn't believe in doing it half-ass. But your dad was far from her type, the opposite of the fuckboys she typically dated.

"My dad isn't one of those stupid boys who does lines of coke off your ass. He's a good man."

"I know he's a good man. That's why I'm marrying him," she snapped, holding up her hand for you to see the ring again. It was beautiful. If you had to guess, it was also expensive. "We just want your support."

You wondered what it would be like at times to have a stepmom. Whenever you envisioned it, your best friend never came to mind. Your dad had to be going through a midlife crisis. God, what would your mom say if she was alive? What did Bucky have to say?

"You're half his age!" you argued, the anger starting to surface again as you stepped forward and smacked her hand away. "What do you two possibly have in common?"

"A lot, actually," she said, clutching her hand against her chest. "You never had a problem with your dad and I hanging out in all the years we've been friends. And you wouldn't give a shit about his age if this was any other guy."

"But this isn't just any guy! This is my dad!" you argued, pleading with her to understand as your vision blurred. Didn’t she realize how awkward it was? What if they ended things? "And you're my best friend."

Beth bit her lip at the sight of your tears. "Your dad and I care about each other, okay? We deserve to be happy. And I care about you, too, but I'm not letting him go. I refuse to be like you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" you demanded when you watched the sympathy leave her eyes.

When backed into a corner, Beth lashed out like an animal. Anyone who got too close got hurt. Unlucky for you, you knew you were about to be on the receiving end of her wrath.

"You spent all four years of college studying and being nice instead of living. You only had fun when I made it happen. You hardly dated. You're lucky you even got laid at all," she said, digging into your insecurities. It was tough for guys to look at you when Beth stood beside you. It made you wonder how long she felt this way about you. "Deep down, you’re just a fucking coward. Unlike you, I have the balls to go after what I want, so that's what I did. You should find a pair and do the same."

Your hand connected with Beth's cheek before you could stop yourself. Like a scene out of a movie, your dad opened the door in time for him to witness the slap. But it wasn't his hand that gripped your shoulder to pull you away.

It was Bucky’s.

Your hand stung as Beth dissolved into tears in your dad's arms. He looked disappointed in you and said as much as you tried to say something. You waited for Bucky to snap at you for hitting his daughter, but he stayed eerily silent as he looked at your hand.

Did he hate you now?

"I'm sorry," you whispered, pulling away before he could say a word.

You ducked inside long enough to grab your purse and take off before any of them could stop you. It was a coward's way out. Maybe Beth was right about you, after all.

"You didn't cause a scene," Bucky said, ordering you both another drink. "That being said, I didn't hear most of the argument, but I did see you hit Beth."

You winced a little and rubbed your palm against your thigh. It was the first time you ever hit someone. "I'm sorry for slapping her."

"Don't be. She deserved it," he said under his breath.

You didn't expect him to say that.

"Your dad is worried, you know," he said, surprising you again. "Said you aren't answering his calls."

"No, I'm not. I don't know what to say to him," you admitted, finally taking out your phone to glance at it. You had missed calls and texts from your dad and Beth, but you refused to listen to the voicemails or look at the messages. "I don't get it."

"What do you not get?" He asked curiously when you finally took your drink.

"Them," you said, allowing the alcohol to burn your throat again. "I don't get them together. Beth isn't. Well, she's not…"

"Your mother?" he guessed.

You looked in your lap with a sigh.

"No, she isn't, but maybe that isn't a bad thing. She won't try to be your mom. Just a partner to your dad," he said. Was your dad someone who could ground her? Was she someone who could make him feel younger? "They're consenting adults. And your dad is lonely. Has been for years."

It sounded like he was trying to placate you, but something in his voice kept you from calling him out. You knew your dad was lonely. Beth said something similar about Bucky.

"I think Beth is bringing him out of his shell," Bucky gently added.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve hardly seen them in months,” you mumbled.

“They should’ve made time for you,” he said, putting his hand over yours. You didn’t dwell on how nice his touch felt since he pulled away just as quickly. “I should have, too. I’ve missed seeing you around the place.”

It wasn’t his job to make time for you.

“You’ve missed me?” you questioned, warmth spreading in your face as he smiled. It was nice to hear that. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“Though I have a feeling you won't want to stop by as much now to see me.”

"If I don't, it has nothing to do with you," you said.

"Sure," he smiled a little.

You examined him with a critical eye, trying to decipher what was going on in his head. Wouldn't it be awkward for him, too? Where was his anger at the situation? Was he hiding it?

"Why are you not upset? She's your daughter."

He gave you a wistful smile and had his drink. A drop of liquid stayed on his lip and you were tempted to wipe it away. Or lick it away. You couldn't act on those urges, especially after the way you went off on Beth. It would be hypocritical.

"Just because I’m not letting it show doesn’t mean I’m not upset. Truth is, I can’t control what Beth does. She stopped listening to me a long time ago. And if I tried to force her to let Dave go, it would make her want him more," he explained, his jaw twitching. "I had a few choice words for him since he kept it from you."

"Wait," you swung in your chair and almost landed in his lap. His hands gripped your arms to steady you, but he didn't let go. "Because he kept it from me? Not you?"

Bucky gave you a single nod, making your heart crack.

"So you knew?" you asked, sadness bubbling up this time instead of anger.

"I did. I’m sorry."

Why would they tell Bucky and not you? Did they expect him to be more mature? Was he the lesser of the two evils or worse?

“How long have you known?” you asked, moving off the stool with his help. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“I’ve only known about their relationship for a couple of weeks,” he answered, trying to stop you when you put your phone in your bag. No wonder he wasn’t as upset. He had time to process the news. “Look, it wasn’t my place. You had enough on your mind with job interviews and I was-”

“You were what? Trying to protect me?”

“In a way, yeah,” he said, making you take a step back when he stood up. “I know how my daughter can be, but I didn’t expect them to pick your celebration dinner to tell you.”

“Tonight wasn’t about me,” you said with a bitter laugh. “It was never meant to be about me.”

Age gap and weirdness aside, you didn't want to say out loud that you felt pushed out. Your dad and Beth would be wrapped up in each other from now on. They already were. How would Beth be able to talk to you about romantic issues when those very issues involved your dad? Would your father make time for you? What if they decided to have a kid?

Were you wrong for thinking of yourself instead of being happy for them?

“Come here,” he whispered, embracing you in a comforting hug.

You were close to bursting into tears, shutting your eyes to keep them at bay. What were you supposed to do with the emotions you were feeling? And why did it feel so good to be in his arms?

“I don’t want to be mad at him,” you whispered.

“You won’t be mad at him forever. He’s your father,” he said, leaning in close so his lips brushed your ear. “But he isn’t your daddy, is he?”

Your eyes slowly opened at his words.

“You want me to be your daddy?”

You nearly stumbled back, your eyes wide as you looked at him. There was no playfulness in his gaze. Nothing to give away that it was a joke. You heard him wrong or imagined that because there was no way he would ask you that. Maybe those couple of shots got to you quicker than you thought.

“What did you say?” you asked.

“You heard what I said,” he said evenly.

You laughed as you backed away more. It had to be a joke and you weren’t in the mood for games. So why wasn’t he laughing with you?

“Whatever that was, I-I can’t process this right now. I need air. I need to go home.”

“You’ve been drinking,” Bucky pointed out as you began to walk to the side door. “I can take you. Let me take care of you.

“You’ve been drinking, too,” you said over your shoulder. “I’ll call a cab.”

“Wait!”

You pushed the door open and welcomed the cool air as you walked down the alley. It didn’t bother you since the alcohol warmed you a bit. It was dark, except for the glow of the neon lights. The perfect cover to hide your oncoming tears.

You turned around when you heard footsteps behind you, but didn’t speak when you saw Bucky a few feet away. What would you say to him? It was difficult to think with him watching you, the air thick with tension. The longer his gaze lingered on you, the harder it was to breathe. If he noticed your hand shaking when you wiped at your eyes, he didn't point it out.

Such a gentleman.

"You're not going home until you talk to me," he said, taking another step toward you.

"You can't keep me out here all night. There. I spoke to you."

"That isn't what I meant and you know it. You're pissed about everything, I get it, but don't act like I'm the bad guy here."

"You're not the good guy either," you snapped, pointing back at the bar. “What the hell was that in there? Asking to be my daddy?”

“You know how relieved Dave was that I didn’t beat the shit out of him over Beth? Or that I didn’t push him away as a friend? You know why I didn’t?” he asked, avoiding your question. “Because I’d be a fucking hypocrite.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’ve wanted you since I walked into your dorm room your freshman year.”

The air rushed out of your lungs. A man who is practically sex on legs wanted you. Someone off limits and you could never have.

“Beth never wanted a stepmom and the women I dated didn’t want a bratty daughter. I almost gave up on dating and then I saw you. You were right in front of me and I couldn’t have you because you were half my age and living with my daughter,” he explained.

You thought back over the years, searching for signs in the memories that he wanted you. The late, quiet nights together. His interests in your studies. How he used to joke with your dad that the reason you didn’t date much was because the boys weren’t good enough for you.

“Been almost five years and I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried to be good. What’s stopping us now?”

“I. That’s not. We.” Why couldn’t you form a coherent sentence? “You’re a good man and a good looking man, but you’re Beth’s dad.”

Bucky’s bitter laugh chilled you more than the cool air.

“So, you’re going to pretend that you don’t want me? That you haven’t wanted me all these years and I’ve just imagined the looks and want between us?” he demanded, every bit the confident man you grew used to seeing. “Say you don’t want me and we’ll forget this whole thing.”

You couldn’t say that.

“Say I do want you,” you said carefully. “We just can’t.”

You backed up when he strode forward and wrapped his hand around your wrist. The touch was gentler than you expected as he turned and backed you against the wall, your bag unceremoniously falling to the ground. You were forced to look at him when he gripped your chin, pressing his body closer to yours. His eyes flickered between your gaze and trembling mouth and you wondered if he heard how fast your heart pounded.

Were his eyes always such a dark shade of blue or did you ignore the lust hidden beneath the surface?

"Why can’t we, hmm?" he asked, firmly keeping your head in place when you tried to avert your gaze. "Is it because you’re scared? You don’t have to be.”

You were scared as hell. Bucky is a man. Experienced.

"Aren't you tired of being good? I know I am."

You thought back to Beth’s previous words. How she had the balls to go after what she wanted and you needed to do the same. What better time to start than now?

You pressed your lips against his and it didn’t take him long for his tongue to slip in, tasting the whiskey as he devoured you. He moaned when your hands moved down his torso, allowing you to divulge in the thing you both denied yourselves. Some twisted part of you mourned what you could’ve had for months had you simply stopped being a good girl.

Were you truly good to begin with?

The line of his hard cock pressed against you as he rocked his hips and kissed down your neck. “This isn’t how I pictured it, but I can’t fucking wait.”

“How did you picture it?” you whimpered, rolling your hips back against his.

“I’d rather show you later,” he whispered, lightly biting down. It wasn’t hard enough to break the skin, but enough that pain and pleasure lingered. “You have no idea what I’m going to do to you.”

He moved away enough to push your dress up around your hips, shocking you when he tore your panties off. Tucking the ruined fabric into his pants pocket, he slipped his hand back between your thighs. His fingers were cool against your slick folds and you shamelessly writhed, needing everything he was willing to give you.

“Did you touch yourself at night wishing I’d show up and fuck your pretty pussy until you cried for me? Hmm?” He said, kissing you again as you whined. The light scratch of his beard made you shiver as he nipped your bottom lip. “Tell me you want my cock.”

Your head spun at his demand. You weren’t a virgin, but the guys you had been with before weren’t big on dirty talk. Unless they talked about how amazing their cocks were.

They weren’t.

“I want your cock,” you whined against his lips, desperate for him.

You wanted him to fill you up until you were sore, aching, and forgot why you were so upset in the first place.

“I’ll give it to you,” he promised.

Your fingers twisted in his shirt when he slid his fingers into your wet slit. You couldn’t recall a time in your life you felt this hot and slick. And feeling one finger push inside, you were sure this was nothing more than an erotic, dirty dream.

“Fuck, you’re tight. And you’re gonna let me fuck you against this wall, aren’t you?” he asked as you nodded. “Dirty girl. My dirty girl now.”

His finger twisted as he added another and you nearly smacked your head against the wall, but his other hand came up to soften the blow. “Bucky,” you gasped.

“I don’t know if you really want my cock,” he teased, moving his long fingers deep. “Might need to hear it one more time.”

As if you weren’t practically riding the thick digits at this point and moaning in the dark alleyway, he really needed to hear you say it again? The squelching sound of your pussy wasn’t loud enough? But your body liked his teasing. Loved his demands.

“Please, I need your cock. Please, Bucky. Please.�� you begged, almost sobbing when he took his fingers out.

“But you said we can't do this. Isn't that what you said?” he asked.

When you opened your mouth to answer, he pushed his wet fingers inside.

“Taste yourself and try to say you don't want me. I dare you,” he whispered, wiping some of the bittersweet juices on your tongue. His fingers slipped free as you gaped at him, watching as he licked the remainder with a groan. “Even sweeter than I imagined.”

The sound of him unbuckling his belt snapped you out of your stupor. “Bucky, I’m-”

“On the pill and clean. I know,” he cut you off as he took his cock out and stroked himself. “I need to fill you up, pretty girl. Need to make you mine, the way I should’ve a long time ago.”

You struggled to keep yourself upright as he guided himself between your legs, holding your hip steady when he pushed the head in. You weren’t nearly stretched enough to take him, but your greedy pussy didn’t care as he slipped in inch by inch. You moaned as he kept pushing until he was fully sheathed inside you. You had never felt so full and likely never would again.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pressing his forehead against yours as your walls pulsed around him.

In the dark place in the back of your mind you kept locked away, you wondered how he looked and sounded when he was pleased. If he gasped when he came or if his eyes rolled back. You were going to find out though, weren’t you?

You cried out when he thrust, one hand moving up to grip his hair. The quick, hard motions felt as desperate as you did inside. You didn’t care if it was fast or dirty. You were tired of being clean. This wasn’t tender or making love. It wasn’t soft touches and kisses to your breasts or slowly building you up.

It was Bucky Barnes fucking you against an alley wall.

“Fuck, are you always this wet or is it just for me?” he asked in awe, pulling one of your legs around his hip to shove his cock in deeper. “Do I have to chase anyone else off?”

You didn’t hear the words as you cried out. It felt so good to be taken like this. The rage, hurt, confusion, all of it molded into ecstasy. You never wanted it to end.

A light smack to your thigh pulled you back to the present.

“Tell. Me. You’re. Mine.” The gravel in his voice grew with each punctuated thrust.

“I’m yours,” you moaned, helpless to the onslaught and uncaring of the implication in the moment.

Your response encouraged him to move faster, kissing you deeply with a groan. His thrusts became almost punishing, like he had to feel you let go so he could come. It wouldn’t take much more with your orgasm building the way it was. You’d be surprised if his cock wasn’t coated in your wetness once you came.

“I-I’m gonna…” you trailed off.

“I know, pretty girl,” he grunted, gripping your chin again. “Be good and come for Daddy.”

Your body seized up before you exploded with pleasure. You struggled to hold yourself up as you trembled with bliss, your vision going white from the intensity. It was so much at once and you thought you might sob from how good it felt.

“Good girl. My good fucking girl,” he encouraged as he fucked you through it, the obscene sounds drowning out your whimpers. He tipped over the edge after a few more thrusts, coating your wet walls. “Fuck, take it.”

He managed to hold you up as he finished, panting as his head fell back. Your grip on his jacket loosened as the reality of the situation sank in, like a bucket of cold water being washed over you. Why did pleasure have to be short lived?

You fucked Bucky. You let Bucky fuck you. How could you cross that line? Just because Beth and your dad had done so, why did you think you could?

God, what were you going to tell them? That you were the biggest hypocrite alive? That you were no better than they were?

What goes around, comes around.

“Hey,” he whispered when he lifted his head, both of you still breathing heavily. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“It’s not okay,” you whispered as he pulled out of you, your mixed release dripping down your thighs. You covered your face as he fixed your dress and himself. “Oh, my god.”

You flinched and dropped your hands when he pulled you away from the wall. His expression was unreadable as he shrugged his jacket off and slipped it over your shoulders. “It’s okay,” he said again.

“W-We can’t do that again,” you whispered as he bent down to retrieve your bag.

"Why not?" he asked, picking up some of the contents that fell out before he stood up.

"Because we can't," you said with no strength behind your words.

“We’re doing this again. You can’t avoid me or this,” he said, pointing between the two of you.

“Your daughter is marrying my dad. This whole thing is fucked up and-”

“And I said I'm tired of being good. I’m fucking tired of denying myself the chance to be happy,” he said firmly as he got in your face. “So are you. I know it."

You pulled the jacket tighter around you, not backing away as he stared at you. Did you shake from the sudden cold, your orgasm, or from the thought that he wasn’t about to let you go?

His gaze softened before he kissed your forehead. “Let’s get a cab and I’ll take you home. We can talk about it once you’ve rested.”

You let him take your hand, your feet moving on their own accord to follow him to the end of the alley. “I can get home on my own.”

You needed to be alone so you could figure out what to do about everything.

“You said you’re mine, didn’t you?” he said, smiling when you stopped. “And what kind of Daddy would I be if I didn’t take care of you?”

Would love to explore more of this new pairing. 😏 Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#I’m not saying men are always the problem but like #men are always the problem tbh #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader

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thechaosisgettingexhausting · 1 year ago

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I'm new to Tumblr so it's interesting that immediately a tarot reading appears is resonates so strongly. (I tried finding this persons post but I left the tab so I lost which blog did this)

Butterfly[if it matters Capricorn] = new guy(main dude im talking about)

ex[Gemini] = Wolf

I've been dating this guy that has really switched my perception on relationships. A little background this guy is not well favored by my friend(who is actually one of the mutuals that was the reason I met him) to the point that she didn't talk to me for a while about the issue...thats a long story for another time... this guy has changed my perspective so much that I didn't think anyone could.

Previous to him[Butterfly], I was in a chaotic relationship, constantly inconsistent. I was convinced I didn't want to find anyone else after him[Wolf] because I was exhausted of giving my love, loyalty, time and effort for me to be easily discarded. It wasn't just him but also past people that haven't treated me the best.

This tarot is insane because he truly did emotionally help get me back on my feet...he could tell when I was feeling very vulnerable and he can read the room very fast. he would do small acts to get me out of my dissociative state... it was a week or two from when Wolf and I called it off and I had just explained it to him and his friend. it was like he was taking mental notes of my cues. little did he know I was taking notes also...

we then take this out of the intimate event to dms. he jokes with me and obv I still have a guard up, but he was making it hard NOT to trust him... he was handling me amazingly, asking me in-depth questions that made me really think about my emotions, reactions and how I treat those around me. throughout this he's made me feel so secure and safe. he would constantly reassure me, he's probably the most stable person I've ever dated.

in relation to the tarot reading he literally did introduce me to his friends and he integrated me into his life with ease. mind you, I AM NOT USED TO THIS TREATMENT... with every past dude it felt like I was draining myself so i didn't lose them[imma make a separate blog analyzing my own flaws in relationships] but with him he makes it feel like ease.

he's a writer, he wrote me a letter, for the first time a week or two ago that was so expressive, so sensual and made feel seen, I'm usually the one analyzing and being more in touch with others' emotions. in a way I feel like being with him is truly healing parts of my inner child. he writes beautiful lyrics about love... he reads love poems and is so in touch with his emotions. I know this is bare minimum but sometimes I can barely even regulate my own emotions.

he's always encouraging me to do my best, encouraging me to get better. one of the first things he said to me was along the lines of "I don't want to jump too fast with you because I want you to get better and be able to feel better on your own" already off the bat that combatted my dependency issues. he didn't want me to become dependent on him to be my happiness... which already made me immediately feel seen.

people here obv don't know anything about me but I'm very sexual and I enjoy s3x, a lot of the times when Im with a man Im usually, immediately physically s3xual with them, I held back a lot with Butterfly...read disclaimer at the bottom.... after a while we stopped caring that my best friend didn't like him so we've been sneaking around ever since. but I truly feel like I'm with someone that I can succeed with. he's literally met my dad and sisters, my sisters like him a lot and my dad doesn't care as long as im happy but im sure he'd like him if they had a conversation.

{**DISCLAIMER**}Why did I hold back? I am not supposed to be seeing him or even talking to him. I know now some of you might be thinking I'm home wrecking my friends relationship, maybe you're thinking that Butterfly is my friend's bf but no, she genuinely acts like she hates this man, she's in a relationship with another... Let me clarify that my friend is not in a relationship with Butterfly. I am NO home wrecker.

I could literally talk about this all day but I got other shit to let out

#tarot cards #tarot community #relationship #mental stability

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workscounselingcenter · 1 year ago

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The Enneagram, Therapy, and You: Enneagram Eight

Hello! I am Shelby, a licensed professional counselor who loves all things enneagram, and works with clients at The Works Counseling Center located in Nashville, TN.

How has your August been? This is a month that is often filled with transitions; going back to school, birthdays, and the beginning of the end of summer to make way for another fall. What transitions have you experienced recently? What helps you in seasons of transition? Today, we will transition in our series from our enthusiasts who we talked about last time, to our justice-oriented, challenger or protector archetypes; the enneagram eight. Please note that ‘challenger’ and ‘protector’ will be used interchangeably throughout this blog, both are used in reference to the enneagram eight.

If you are interested in reading previous blog posts on this subject or want to explore earlier numbers, please click here.

Disclaimer: This blog is not meant to be all-inclusive about this enneagram number, nor is it intended to replace or provide professional counseling services; this blog’s intended purpose is to provide an informal discussion on the enneagram as it relates to professional counseling and mental health. *

Let’s begin.

Referred to as the ‘challenger’ or ‘protector’ archetype, an individual who identifies with the enneagram eight is often justice-oriented, straight-forward and self-confident. Enneagram eights are commonly assertive individuals who have a strong sense of right and wrong, paired with a strong desire to create protection from injustice. At their best, protectors may use their justice-oriented mindset to protect others and promote equality for marginalized populations. At less healthy levels, protectors may become aloof and critical when experiencing feelings of threat. Famous examples of individuals who meet this archetype include Martin Luther King Jr, Toni Morrison, and Queen Latifah.

Enneagram eights are known to be the most independent archetype on the enneagram. However, no one is born fiercely independent. In fact, we are born just the opposite, completely dependent on our caretakers to help us survive and hardwired for connection. Therefore, someone who identifies with this archetype, likely learned in childhood that it was not safe to be fully vulnerable with others. It is common that a protector learned to associate healthy vulnerability with weakness. This can follow a protector into adulthood and show up as unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as: keeping relationships at a distance, resisting vulnerability, and at times, being perceived as confrontational.

When a challenger enters the counseling relationship, it is incredibly important to be mindful of their personal relationship with vulnerability. And to be fully transparent as a counselor who frequently uses the enneagram in therapy, I have not yet experienced a challenger in the counseling space. Is that because challengers do not go to therapy? No, but someone who identifies with this archetype may find it especially challenging to enter a therapeutic relationship if they are not already aware of their own relationship with vulnerability. It is a brave choice for anyone to enter a counseling space, and part of the brave choice for a challenger is taking the step to practice letting go of some of their strongly protective boundaries.

A message of affirmation and healing for our challengers: “There is strength in vulnerability.”

A challenge: To discern when it is safe and appropriate to lay down your armor.

Thank you, challengers, for your industriousness, your value of justice, and your innate desire to protect others. The world is better with you in it.

Let’s check in again soon.

Enjoying learning about the enneagram and want to know more? Please find book suggestions and references here.

If you are interested in exploring the enneagram with professional therapy services or would like to work with a mental health professional, please contact The Works Counseling Center for more information.

#Enneagram #Mental Health #Therapy

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cruella1989 · 3 years ago

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The Tragic Life of Darth Sidious

Why are villains like Darth Vader, Darth Maul, and Kylo Ren considered tragic? Well, the short answer is because they had “tragic” experiences that played into them going down the wrong path (although I think in the case of the latter it’s debatable). But they’re not what I’m going to discuss today, it’s another villain who has an equally sad background, but for some reason is often considered very unsympathetic. That antagonist is none other than the big bad guy, himself, Emperor Palpatine.

Personally I’ve never understood why so many fans say that it’s “impossible to feel any sympathy for him” and that he has “no redeeming qualities”. I especially don’t understand these type of statements with the fans that pity other villains. I’m talking about bad guys who have killed and hurt many people, some of which have not reformed, others who don’t even have that sad a backstory. Is it because, he’s the guy in charge? To each their own, I guess?

Anyway, here’s why I view this particular villain a little differently than the norm. (Disclaimer! I am in no way excusing his actions! I know he’s evil, and I’m simply explaining why I think he’s more sympathetic than many other fans do.)

When we first meet Palpatine in the, now Legends, novel Darth Plagueis he is a troubled seventeen year-old, to say the least. There’s also no denying that he’s an egocentric, little jerk right from the start of his initial appearance. It can be hard to see him as anything other than that, especially with some of the things he admits to have done. Those include all kinds of petty crimes and even vehicular man-slaughter! How are you supposed to feel bad for somebody like that? I’d say the first thing you need to do is look at what caused him to become that way.

I think a lot people either ignore or miss a few very important clues when reading the novel that strongly states he was abused by his father and came from a very dysfunctional home. For example, they tend to take his father buying him out of trouble with the law as a sign that he’s a spoiled brat. Of course, that action does send the message to youth that they are above the law no matter the intent. But the book states that the patriarch of the Palpatine home is doing that because he wants no ‘stain’ on the family name, not out of some kind of mislead love for his troubled son. On top of that, the book makes it clear that his father, Cosinga, was a terrible man that did awful things to the family and all sorts of illegal acts. In fact it’s stated that he committed fraud, made bribes, hired hit men, had multiple mistresses, and intimidated his wife and children into being subservient to him.

“Palpatine forced a laugh. “Only because she espouses no views of her own; only because he has made her subservient to him—as he has my well-behaved brothers and sisters, who treat me like an interloper and yet, to my father, represent all I can never be.”

“Plagueis had no need to delve any further into whatever traumas had given rise to Palpatine’s cunning, secretive nature.”

“Cosinga flung his words with cruel abandon, “It will be so good to have you gone.”

Being raise by someone like that in that kind of environment is really going to mess a kid up, especially if said youth already has violent tendencies. All children need some sort moral guidance, but when a child has a bad temper they particularly need help learning how to controlling it. I think it’s pretty safe to say that young Palpatine was getting much the opposite of what he needed in his childhood home.

“…his father, who shared with his son a penchant for violence,…”

“Sidious took a moment to respond. It was odd to think now that he had once known fear... But as a child, he’d experienced fear as a conditioned response to threat. Despite a reassuring voice inside him that had promised no harm could come, there had been, for a time, a chance that something terrible could happen. More than once his father’s raised hand had made him cringe.”

But, what about him killing his own family before he even became a Sith apprentice? Okay, there’s a difference between premeditated murder and self defense. Palpatine’s dad had just said he wanted to kill him, and in response the boy unleashed a force-storm on him. It was obviously result of a bunch of fear, anger and force power that had been bottled up inside of him. The author makes it plain that he doesn’t know what he’s doing and that he’s even scared of his own power. Heck, Palpatine even tells his mother to stay away from him while this mess in going on. Please, keep in mind he’s only seventeen, has had no force training, and his father just said he wanted him dead.

Also, do not forget that Hego Damask, (aka Plagueis) who was likely Palpatine’s only friend, had goaded him on about killing his father only a few days earlier, when the boy stated that he wanted be free of his family. Yes, he tells the impressionable teenager a story about how he ‘did away’ with his own family, when they were in the way of his own desires. He even admits it after the event is over.

This particular act by Damask obviously left a big impression on Palpatine and angered him even decades later. This is shown when Sidious brings it up right before killing Plagueis and becoming Sith Master.

{“Hated you more than you know,” Cosinga said, allowing his ire to rise once more. “Enough to want to kill you from the start.”

Palpatine stood his ground. “Then you had better do it now.”

Cosinga took a step in Palpatine’s direction…}

“Palpatine stood rooted in place, his hands trembling in front of him and his face stricken. Something stirred behind his incandescent eyes. He heard the pounding on the hatch and whirled. “Don’t come in! Stay away from me!”

“It was Hego Damask as Plagueis who then set his sights on a seemingly confused young man and, with meticulous skill, manipulated him into committing patricide, matricide, and fratricide.”

Another argument I see being made against young Palpatine has to due with a few insults he and his father throw at each right before the latter’s death. I’ve heard many fans claims that these quotes prove that he was “born evil” or “it’s meant to symbolize the devil”.

{“…You are an animal heart.”

“King of Beasts, Father,” Palpatine said.}

“I knew this day would come. I’ve known it since the first moment I tried to swaddle you, and you fought me with strength that was too powerful for your size and age.”

Okay, to start with his abusive father calling him ‘an animal’ doesn’t mean that he behaved in a sadistic way his entire life. I know that that’s popular belief when in comes to that line, but it is not true. Remember, this is the guy who made most of his family subservient to him. So why wouldn’t he call his rebellious eldest son, a name like that? If the insult did have any meaning to it (beyond just being mean) likely he’s referring to the boy’s bad temper and his trouble with the law. And second Palpatine’s response is more than likely a claim that he’s stronger than his father, not confirming that he’s ‘demonic’ or whatever.

Also, baby Palpatine being strong and more powerful than the average infant does not prove that he was born evil, or was some kind of demon baby. It only confirms that he was strong in the force from infancy. And guess what? Babies fight all the time.

So, did the troubles stop once the dysfunctional family was gone? Not exactly. After witnessing Palpatine’s strength in the force and hearing the boy admit that his true desire was to be powerful, Plagueis decided to offer him an apprenticeship. Damask revealed that he was a Sith Lord, and told Palpatine that if he swore his allegiance to the order, then he could obtain great power.

He, of course, took the offer as he did crave power, and there was a promise of it. Was it the right path to take? No. Did he join for selfish reasons, like the promised strength and authority. Of course, why else would he? But, that doesn’t change the fact that he was put through a lot brutal physical, mental and emotional tests while going through Sith training.

I’d also like to add, that unbeknownst to the his new pupil, the Sith Master had other plans to use the boy as a way of obtaining power for himself. This basically involve getting Palpatine elected Chancellor, (since a human stood a better chance than a Muun) and using Sidious as a ‘puppet’ while he called the shots. So Plagueis was not innocent here, by any means.

"He admits it! And who better than a human to wear the mask of power while an immortal Sith Lord rules in secret!"

{“Now tell me again, Apprentice, and in greater detail.”

Once more Sidious allowed his memories to unfold, and he relived the crime— the event as he had come to think of it. His father’s limp and bloody body, the smashed skulls of the bodyguards, his hands around his mother’s slender throat—but not really, only in his mind—strangling her with his thoughts, the lifeless forms of his siblings, slumped here and there. In telling it and telling it, in reliving it, he had finally gained a kind of authority over it; the ability to see the event merely for what it was, without emotion, without judgement. It was as if the event had occurred years, rather the months, earlier.}

“…You want strangle me like you did you’re poor, misunderstood mother, tear me limb from limb like you did the bodyguards. Fair enough. But to do so you will have to make a greater effort, Apprentice.”

Clawing his way across the tundra, his body rashed with lightsaber burns, Sidious looked up at Plagueis imploringly, “H-how much longer…Master?”

The final dispute that I tend to hear made against him is that he was “tricking” his master, Plagueis, the whole time they worked together. Personally, I never saw that. Much of the dialog, his internal thoughts and the situations that he was in during the Sith training made it pretty clear Sidious was not the one in control.

Now it is true that Palpatine does start tricking him later, as he gains more desire for power, and wants to kill Plagueis and become the Sith Master. It starts off subtlety but you can tell when he starts loosing respect for Plagueis and wondering when he will be the one in charge. I’m not saying that it didn’t start before that, but I just have a hard time imagining the young Sidious “clouding” his master’s mind the entire time, without any previous training.

I’d also like to point out that despite popular belief, it’s actually never stated that he was tricking him the whole time, not even during his villainous rant at the end. What Palpatine actually says is that he never intended to share the power. And okay even if he had somehow been “clouding” Plagueis’ mind (despite having no force training) during the entire apprenticeship, what do you expect out some one who was raised in a dysfunctional home until age seventeen and was then taken in by a mass murderer?

“You lost the game on the very first day you chose to train me to rule by your side—or better still under your thumb!”

“The truth is, I haven’t changed. As we have clouded the minds of the Jedi, I clouded your’s. Never once did I have any intention of sharing power with you.”

Now, I’m sure that people are going to claim that, unlike many other Star Wars villains, he still as no redeeming qualities. Of course, having no positive qualities makes it much harder to view him in any sort of positive light or feel pity for him. At least it would be if that were true. Especially in Legends timeline, there are several glimpses of humanity that we see from him. These are mostly shown by some attempts to help and in hints that he cares about his apprentices in his own twisted way.

“…that the force was strong in the infant was reason enough not to let it wonder around unprotected, and perhaps fall in the hands of the Jedi.”

“There is a moment—just one moment,” McDiarmid remembers, “It’s after Anakin’s been almost destroyed and he’s got little life in him. Palpatine has sent for a medical team and he’s waiting for them to arrive—and he just gently touches Anakin’s forehead. Sidious doesn’t have any qualities we normally associate with humanity, except he does have a master-servant relationship with Anakin. Anakin means something to him.”

The Making of Star Wars: Episode III- The Revenge of the Sith

J.W. Rinzler

I hope that you enjoyed this article and that it has clarified things, and maybe helped you see him in a bit of a different light.

#palpatine #star wars #villain #bad guys #sympathy #tragic #darth sidious #darth plagueis #sith #backstory #antagonist

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mixelation · 6 days ago

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I agree with most of these points, but I want to give a sort of "yes, and..." addition, which is that I do think there are some people who write entirely for engagement and that's okay. When I first started writing fic, my motivation was that I wanted to see if other people liked my ideas. I obviously liked my own ideas, but to me, the point of moving them from my head onto paper was so I could share them with others. (Now I largely use writing as a way to organize and explore my ideas, and getting compliments is more like a fun bonus.) I am not inside the heads of random people online, but I have seen people asking questions about writing fic as if what they seek is readers to tell them that they like their fic, rather than writing a story they personally care about. So I would guess that engagement is the primary motivator for these people.

I wanted to emphasize that I do think this is some people's primary motivator, because then the part where you would just give up and delete your fics because you weren't getting comments makes more sense. I do not think that writing and posting fic without learning to extract some personal satisfaction from it is sustainable, but at the same time, I'm not going to stand on a soap box and tell people what they are or are not allowed to try and get out of their own writing practices. If you literally just want the compliments, then by all means, you do you. My personal advice would be not to hitch your self esteem or your appreciation for your own art to getting said compliments, but also that's just my opinion as someone who's been writing for a while. I think we do need to make room in our community for people who literally just want nice comments, because they're here and they're also on their own journeys with their writing. Maybe they will peter out and quit or maybe they will learn to engage with their own art in a new way, but they have every right to be posting fic and talking about it. This approach to writing fic is also not new; it used to be common to withhold new chapters unless X number of comments was achieved. I do personally find it a bit immature, but also lots of people start off like this, and that's fine.

All that being said, I do STRONGLY dislike the discourse about "fic economy" and how reading but not commenting is hurting fandom and blah blah blah. It's fine to feel disappointed that you are not getting the comments you want, and it's fine to articulate your disappointment, but also no one owes you anything just because you posted something. No one is entitled to comments on their fic.*

*disclaimer because every time i post about this someone jumps on me: i do think engagement/a comment is "owed" in it is the POLITE thing to do if you have in some way requested the fic. for example, you sign up for a gift exchange or you intentionally signed your name to a prompt. but the act of clicking on a fic and then reading it is not some sort of economic exchange where now you simply must leave a comment as payment?

There's a genre of post that I see pretty frequently, which can overall be summed up as, "Modern fandom has a culture problem where fanfic authors are treated as content producers instead of community members and their fanfic is treated as a commodity to be consumed instead of a high-effort labor of love that deserves attention and compliments given directly to the author". I agree with 3/4ths of that. I find the part I disagree with very interesting, the same way I find a lot of writeblr interesting, because it's a perspective that I had to work very hard to actually understand.

Because the posts have such a warped view of what writing is and why we post our writing! They say that fanfic fights against the commodified internet we live in, but all they're doing is changing the currency of payment in this attention economy. Another way you can summarize about 70% of these posts is, "My payment for writing and posting my fanfiction is compliments, and if you do not give me those compliments you are not paying. If you give those compliments behind my back, or talk about them privately without giving them to me as well, then you are stealing from me." I don't want to put it like that, but a lot of these posts use words like 'deprive', as if the reader who enjoys the fic without commenting is withholding something from them that they deserve. They use the word engagement, and they do talk about how part of that engagement is just the joy of talking about AUs and ships with other people, but when people say that comments are their motivation to keep writing, what they mean is that validation is their motivation to keep writing. Which is compliments.

I understand that, because I understand that fanfic writers are not immune to the attention economy. But I don't understand how almost every one of these posts talk about how this lack of attention makes them stop writing - that this act of theft is killing their desire to write. I could understand this if they meant 'desire to POST fic' (I don't post fic I think zero people would read.), but they talk about how lack of payment stops them from writing at all.

IMHO, that is what creates a commodity from fic. People want to treat fic as art, but an artist makes art for themself. Art is made because we want to hold parts of skills and ourselves in our hands. If you won't make art if you get no payment, then you have devalued the art completely.

We think of AO3 as this unique site that's born entirely from passion and is filled with fics written for love of the game. But guilt-tripping posts that shame people for not commenting on a fic they enjoy, and that describe how there's no point in writing fic if it's not getting attention, are directly contributing towards the culture of treating fic like a commodity.

I also really want a fandom culture where the relationship between artist and reader is reciprocal, where it feels like a community, and where I get to talk about my fanfic with people. My favorite part of posting fanfic is rambling about it on my blog, because I can talk about my art all day and I love it when people stop and listen. But I love that because I love my own art. If you love your own art, then it'll always have value.

Also Google your username, just trust me, that's how you find The Secret Discussions. Someone made a TikTok fansong of me once. WHAT?

#also if you delete your fic because you didn't get comments #then you will definitely never get any comments #i don't super get this argument. i get deciding you don't actually like a fic and wanting to remove it but like #what?#mixed bag

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whaleofatjme1920 · 2 years ago

Note

[Haley, Creepypasta/MH, She/They, 19, Romantic]

My name is Hal and I am giving you this letter, a bag of many tiny bells (collected for who knows how long), an amethyst crystal I used often as a child to chase away bad dreams, and a kind of rose tea (though I am not one for tea I liked both the symbolism and that it would round out to 3 offerings excluding my letter) as offerings in hopes that you will help me find my match.

I would describe myself as a very sarcastic person who loves to make jokes, dress in a frilly poofy way (often wearing heels to make myself at least 6'1), and someone who likes to do fun fantasy escapism type activities (going to renfaire, playing DnD and RPG video games,etc.). Peoples impressions of me range from cute and quiet to a straight up golden retriever. I am a pretty sedentary homebody most of the time though I can be more outgoing and confident when I am with people I know and usually are some brand of nerd (theater, Gamer, etc.) I also draw, make clothes/costumes, and love to create stories and characters, only some of which I actually use, a sad amount just sits in a box after it's made. I have my issues, mainly with procrastinating, forgetfulness, and the need to be able to be fully independent when push comes to shove because unexpected things happen but I have always been the romantic daydreaming type and over time I have matured and am tired of new historical events making me more and more tired, I just want to find my person to do all of the things good, bad, easy, and hard with. I just want to make a home with them and be in their world. - Haley

P.s my love language is acts of service and words of affirmation, I didn't know where to cram that in so here we are. I blame my ADD.

[Disclaimer: The Red String of Fate event is a special event I'm running from August 12th, to whenever I feel it necessary to end - right now, I'm giving it to the first week of September! Check out rules HERE]

There's just a hint of a smile on Yue Lao's face as he hears the bells you've given him ring in the passing breeze. It's something soft and sweet, like a little lullaby that rings through the night. The amethyst crystal has found it's way to one of his many bookshelves, acting as a lovely addition to his home. The faint scent of rose tea rests strongly on his porch as he sips it, a quiet hum leaving his lips from how good it is. Bao rests near the teapot, purring quietly at the warmth and the sweet scent.

It admittedly isn't that hard for him to find a match for you. The thought comes almost instantly as he reads over the things that make you happiest, the things that you enjoy creating, and a name pops into his head as loud as a whistle: Alex Kralie. Now, that's not a name anyone would ever expect, really, but achieving ultimate balance, the god is of the belief the two of you would work fantastically. He's admittedly of the belief that you and Alex have a wonderful creative streak that would only grow in each other's presence, and his practical nature would mesh well with your more fantastical essence. Opposites, but similar.

Bao returns to him with a spool of thread in her mouth, the color of fresh summer roses and smelling just as sweet as them. She purrs softly at the names he whispers to her before he ties the string to your pinky, and then moves around to Alex's. The thread glows brightly, reflecting in his moonlight covered eyes with a shine that makes him laugh happily. What a brilliant glow, and a strong match that this will be. Looks like Alex is still in college, working on some silly student film. Perhaps silly is the wrong word, but it makes the god smile all the same. He watches with a dreamy, far off look as you watch the string materialize on your finger while sitting in your dorm.

You're up from your dorm almost instantly, following the string like it's the only thing you've ever cared about. There's a small bout of wonder in your eyes as it leads you across campus to one of the building on the far end side. You recognize it as the college of arts. It leads you up the stairs to the second floor, where a bulletin board lays covered with ads, flyers and whatnot. There's one near the bottom right, kind of obscured by the many other papers but you read it clearly: Marble Hornets, auditions Friday - Sunday! Held on the third floor, room 315.

You glance down at your string with a deep gut feeling telling you that's the exact same place your soulmate lies. You rush up the stairs, hardly noticing as Brian and Tim pass by you until Brian gets your attention.

"Evenin' to you too," the blond haired man chuckles as he watches you practically sprint up the stairs.

"Oh, hey, Brian, Tim," you shoot over your shoulder.

He snickers and continues walking down the stairs slowly with his friend who shoots you a small wave in response. "Going for Alex's audition?"

You hold up your left pinky and smile. "Looks like I am."

The two men share a look and wish you a good luck, watching as you disappear upwards. You feel like you can't breathe as your heart beats faster and faster, anxious to meet who you know is your soulmate. You can feel a tug from his end too, and rounding the corner into the room. Alex is there, sitting in front of a camera seeming to just clean up and looking over notes when he feels his hand tug.

He looks over his shoulder, and you swear it's the first time you've ever seen him smile.

#red string of fate the event #alex kralie x reader #marble hornets x reader

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lovebecomeshim · 3 years ago

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hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

youtube

#zutara #atla #zutara rant #like really the way the canon relationships were written throughout s3 #it would’ve been more believable for zutara to happen #or at least be hinted at #all of the major issues presented in those relationship were dug up extensively and then... never resolved #and then they just slapped some kisses on a screen and said ‘there all better’#and we just kinda had to say ‘oh ok guess it’s all better then’#this got long I’m sorry #I wrote it all out and then tumblr ate 2/3 of it #which is why it took so long #and what I’ve written now doesn’t even match what I had before #because there’s too much to say about why I love zutara #and the stuff I left out the first time is what came out this time #rip to my original thoughts but this post is different #anyway that’s why this took so long #and I should’ve just made a PowerPoint...#I can do that too if you’d rather not read all of this lol #I won’t be offended #this is incoherent #Alia rambles uselessly #also hoping this doesn’t end up in any wrong tags because I don’t wanna step on toes lol #it’s not anti!! it’s just critical #in a compare/contrast way #I can pinpoint the moment when I started trying to rewrite my points from memory #because everything gets shorter and more succinct #like... I really said all that??? sounds fake and I don’t remember it anyway so here’s the condensed version #with no!! smooth!!! transitions!!!!#also why am I so lazy with proper grammar over text

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natsukitakama · 3 years ago

Text

Headcanon : Reader being nice to Floch even though he is jerk

Request : Well since Floch seem to be a type of guy who criticize people then how about he criticize s/o as well but instead of her getting offensive, she actually thank him for being honest since she’s a type of person who’s okay with criticism and also want the truth since some people usually don’t do it because they’ll feel bad that they know it’ll hurt people and that s/o is also a type of person who sees good on everyone including Floch even tho he seem like a jerk guy she still sees good on him and really curious in how would he react 👀

Author note : Hi there I’m sorry for taking so long, I needed some time of my own hope you’ll understand. I found your request quite interesting considering this part of his personality isn’t the most attractive. But still it’s part of who he is. Anyway hope you’ll enjoy this (to be honest I struggled to finish it lmao also yeah I'm trying a new way to present my post one day I'll be satisfied)

Update : Because I got so much fun writing his reaction from a reader who is thanking him for his opinion while he was harsh on them. In this headcanon, they started as companion but then it would be imply that both of them are together or at least something is happening. Hope you’re fine with that.

Warning : Cursing / Floch being a mean / mention of something that happened in season 3 but its vague

Disclaimer : Not because I’m writing about Floch means I understand what’s he done, I won’t accept his action but I still believe he wasn’t developed enough. I won’t accept any criticism because my anon asked for Floch or because I write for him. If you don’t like it then do not read it ♡

I got a headcanon that look like this so see this as the other version ♡

Masterlist

The way you seemed to always accept every criticism never felt to amaze Floch. No matter who criticizes you, you’re always acting like it wasn’t a big deal. Worst he even noticed that you were glad to be critized. His first thought when he discovered that you were taking different opinion with a smile was something like « what the fuck ? »

How could you take negative though that easily ? What was your secret ?

For weeks he strongly believed that you were acting tough but when you were alone, you were crying over each word you’ve been hit on.

He wouldn’t be surprised I mean, everyone hates being criticized it’s part of our nature.

But you weren’t like this, after weeks of believing you were a liar at pretending that critics didn’t affect you, he then discovered that in fact you were taking it with serenity.

« It would help me to be a better a person » you once said to him

He didn’t get it. Like who do you think you are ?

Why aren’t you acting like Eren or Jean ? Why weren’t you angry at him ? Worst, why weren’t you defending yourself ? What was wrong with you ?

The fact that you were smiling everytime he was mean to you was getting on his nerve. For fuck sake could you at least yell at him ? At least he’ll know you were human.

He didn’t why but seeing you smiling at him, thanking him for his negative opinion got his sick. He could feel his stomach twisted as if he could throw because of your sympathy. Did you pity him ?

He even once heard a conversation between you, Eren and his crew that makes him even more sick :

« You know, you shouldn’t let him talk to you the way he did. This isn’t respectful. »

« Eren is right, want me to teach him some manners ? If it’s for you i’ll do it »

« *chuckle* Thank you Mikasa but I don’t think it would be necessary. I mean yeah he got a way to say things - »

« He is talking to you like you were shit »

« I wouldn’t say it like this Eren but yeah you got a point. Y/N I know you saw good in everyone but you have to admit that recently he is being mean to you »

« *sigh* As I was trying to say, yeah he is being mean with me but his opinion was actually good. I mean yeah I’ve been too slow during our training and yes I shouldn’t forgot to pack some gas with us. My point is he was right, he just got a way to talk to people »

« Come on everyone makes mistake and it wasn’t like HE thought about taking Gas bottle too. He got some balls to says that »

« Eren is right Y/N. »

« But he was still right. I mean he forgot but I forgot too, if no one is meticulous in real battle it could be dangerous. Besides he is not as mean as everyone thinks. I can see it, there is good in him »

« Well he is doing a good job at hiding it. Remembered how he talked to Armin when he woke up ? That piss of sh- »

« *sigh* Yeah he shouldn’t say it the way he did but you need to understand his point too. He was all alone with his friends and his commander which he used to worship by the way, he had to run with his friends knowing he would die either from stone or because he’ll be eaten by a Titan. For him Erwin was a hero, of course his first reaction was to want him to survive. Caporal Levi did it too, he wanted Erwin to survive he only have the injection because Erwin told him too. »

« Maybe. But I still believe this man has no education »

« *chuckle* you used to be a little shit too when you first came, acting all cocky because you were about to kill titans but everyone looked through it and now we all love our precious angry soldier »

Eren then proceed to grumble something about not being angry while everyone was laughing. How could you say that ? Why were you protecting him ? Did he ask you to protect him ? No ? Then why are you seeing all those things at him ? Why were you saying that he got a point when all he did was telling you how shitty you were. He was bullying you why were you nice to him ?

The worst when he started to have a crush on you. Was he a sadist or something ? Why was he looking at you everytime you were training ? Why was he offended when someone compliment you ? You’re just in love bitch

Did he stop being mean at you ? No not at all, it would be out of character for him. BUT he started to be « gentle » about the way he critices you. For example he won’t told you that you suck at being a soldier because you were starting to feel tired because of the training instead he would scold you for not sleeping enough.

See ? He still gives you critics and some time he is a bit harsh but now you’ve noticed (even though you already did) that he was actually carrying about you.

So you started to thank him even more for his kind word, which disgust him. Why were you thanking him anyway ?

At some point he stopped trying to figure out if you were a masochist or just silly, he keeps scolding you everytime you did something wrong and he just shrugs each time you were thanking him.

But then you started to defend him even more, you weren’t just trying to justify his action by analyzing his behavior.

Now you were arguing with people who were telling some shit about him which surprised him. Why do you care ? He didn’t give a damn about some fools’ opinion nor should you.

But here you were explaining your point, trying to make them understand that no he wasn’t just a jerk and there were something more important to get to know. He froze.

« Come on Y/N don’t fool yourself Floch is a jerk have you seen him ? All he cares is himself. He is so fool of himself. Did you notice the way he is talking to you ? How could you defend someone like him ? »

« Because he cares about him and because I care about him too. You asked if I noticed the way he was talking to me, I did. He stopped being mean at me, and started to give me advice to help me during my training. He noticed my lack of stamina and told me to practice and sleep better. He scold be for always forgetting something and now I’m careful. All he need was to help me, how am I supposed to avoid fight when you’re clearly misunderstanding him. He is someone good, you just need to get to know him »

This time instead of feeling sick, he felt a little warm running into his body especially on his face. He felt … good ? He couldn’t explain it but yeah he felt right to hear you saying this even though he still didn’t understand why you were like this while you two barely talk together.

He wanted to confront you about.

Especially because he started to dream about you even more than before. That scene when you were defending him was keeping playing in his head, again and again. At this point you were always on his dream. Not that he will complain but he felt silly to be like this, like to him they were no way you were into him.

So one day when you two were cleaning the training room, Floch decided it was now or never. So after closing the door to be in « peace », he walked into your direction. Step by step he noticed that he got trouble at taking a deep breath probably because he was scared or anxious.

When he finally was in front of you, you noticed his frown and started to ask yourself what was wrong with him. He wasn’t so anxious, usually he came talk to you all cocky to correct you but now it was as if he was talking to Caporal Levi.

« Are you okay ? »

« Of course I am why wouldn’t I ? »

« I don’t know you look like tense. Did I do something wrong ? »

« Obviously yeah. I mean you’re always doing something wrong but that’s not why I’m here »

« Oh yeah ? »

« Yeah. »

« Then ? »

« Then what ? »

« Why are you here ? If you’re not here to scold me »

« I wanted to know why you’re acting so nice »

« I’m acting nice ? »

« Yeah don’t play dumb to me. I heard you talking with Eren and that bunch of shitty friends also I saw you with those stupid soldiers talking dirty about me. Why were you defending me ? »

« Why not ? I mean they are not angel either so I don’t see the point of being mean »

« But i’am »

« Excuse me ? »

« You said there’s no point of being mean about someone but I’m mean. Especially with you I remember correctly telling you that you being a soldier was a shame for humanity »

« Yeah that wasn’t nice by the way »

« See ? You’re smiling ! Why is wrong with you ? »

« What ? Because I can’t smile ? »

« No ! Not when I’m being mean at you that completely strange »

« Well then I’m a weirdo I guess »

« Okay I’m done I knew I couldn’t get anything from you »

« I’m sorry but I don’t see what’s wrong with my behavior ? »

« You can’t smile when someone is saying bad things about you »

« Why not ? You’re being honest. »

« But it’s mean »

« Yeah and ? At least you’re not trying to be nice with me when in fact you can’t stand me. I hate hypocrite I prefer when people are honest with me. Besides as I said before your critics were interesting it helps me getting better so I don’t see why I would be mad at me »

« I don’t get it I’m sorry, even if it helps you. You could at least slap me for being mean at you »

« Do you want me to spank you Floch ? »

« I- I say slap me and not like this I-I oh my god I can’t »

« *laugh* but you’re the one talking about slapping I’m sorry I didn’t know it was your thing I’ll take it in mind »

« YOU … Wait are you making fun of me ? »

« Maybe ? »

Then you just laugh and finish your duty, leaving a completely frozen Floch.

You’re kinda broke him, he didn’t know how to behave with you anymore.

Should he be glad because you’re not angry at him for being a jerk ? Or should he be concerned because you figure out something he didn’t want to admit ?

Again, he started to be less a jerk around you. But you noticed that it worked only for you. Floch was still… Floch around other people. He just tends to be soft with you, he stopped scolding you and in fact correct you each time you were doing a wrong move. And when you were loosing or forgetting something, he just gave you what you needed without complaining.

People were surprised, like they weren’t used to see Floch not acting like a jerk. They also didn’t understand why you weren’t treated like everyone else. Some of them got their theory but for now all they could notice was Floch not being as mean as usual with you while you were acting nice with him. For both of you that’s all matter

#request #attack on titan #attack on titans #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #Floch Forster #Floch x reader #floch forster x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #Eren Jaeger #Floch x y/n #Floch x t/p #aot Floch #snk Floch

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