#disaster dog
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ivytea · 7 months ago
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local scrumptious cake population reduced by one
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stinkybrowndogs · 4 months ago
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I mean I get that’s it’s not the only contributing factor, but I’m curious exactly how much of the shelter dog over-population problem is actually due to poor dog ownership/management vs the housing crisis and economical stress. I’d be willing to bet by investing in social programs that give people the resources they need to care for their pets (cough cough affordable and free housing cough cough) that the amount of pets in shelters would dramatically drop. We can all sit here pointing fingers and screaming at each other until we are blue in the face, but if the owners basic needs are not being met, how can we hold them to a basic standard for their pets?
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brainrotcharacters · 3 months ago
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The moment Wade handed Mary Puppins to Logan and Logan had no protest beyond groaning, I knew
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wombywoo · 3 months ago
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dry drowning
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oikasugayama · 11 months ago
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YOU CATCH HIM M@STURBAT!NG pt. 2
MDNI, this is NSFW content for adults!!
pt. 1 Fyodor, Poe, Chuuya | pt. 2 Fukuzawa, Kunikida, Dazai | pt. 3, Ranpo, Akutagawa, Ango | pt. 4 Sigma, Mori, Tetcho | pt. 5 (finale) Atsushi, Nikolai
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Fukuzawa
ok this one you did NOT expect. you've seen dazai get a hard-on at work, you've heard junichiro and naomi (NOT siblings though they grossly pretend to be) talking about their sex plans after work, but YOUR BOSS? THE PRESIDENT??
he's in his office palming his boner through his clothes when you open the door. you come in like always, using your shoulder to hold the door open as you turn and come in backwards so that the tray of tea you're holding doesn't get knocked over by thumping against the door.
you're almost across the room to his desk by the time you realize that there's a VERY DISTINCT tent in his yukata that he can't decide if he should push down with his hand or not--either way it's obvious that he's hard.
his face is flushed, he's shocked, embarrassed, and extremely apologetic.
you're frozen for a moment, but when he says your name and "i'm so sorry" you decide to pretend like you don't see anything. you put the tray down on his desk, pour him a cup of tea, and tell him to page for you if he needs anything.
you close the door behind you and have to take a moment to gather yourself. he's your boss so there's absolutely no way you were about to come onto him, but god he's so kind and handsome and his deep voice is just so fucking hot. you feel like a creep being there while he was trying to have a private moment, but he was at work, he should have known better than to touch himself when you were scheduled to bring his afternoon tea-- wait, did he do it on purpose? should you go back in? no. no he wouldn't have done that. it must have been an accident.
you tell yourself it must have been an accident and go back to work like nothing happened, though it's all you can think about all day.
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Kunikida
he desperately needs to relieve stress after an incredibly tiresome and busy week. he just got back to his dorm, looking forward to two days off work. he wastes no time settling onto his couch, cracking open his laptop, and playing a random porn video (it helps him get the job done more efficiently because watching makes him cum faster)
he uses earbuds so he doesn't disturb his neighbors, unfortunately this means that while he's in the midst of it he doesn't hear you unlocking his door (he gave you the key for emergencies because you're responsible--you occasionally drop groceries off to him if you're making a trip out and he needs something, much like is happening right now)
you open the door and there he is, vest and shirt unbuttoned, pants and boxers pulled down just enough to get his cock out. one hand works over his length steadily while the other cups his balls. you gasp and drop the bag of groceries, turning and slamming the door closed behind you.
his eyes were closed, though, so he didn't notice until the slam of the door echoed past the sound of the video he watches. when he sees the bag on the ground he immediately knows what must have happened and he's so fucking embarrassed that he feels sick. he hopes you don't think he did it on purpose; he couldn't have known you would come over right now.
he tries to go to your dorm a few hours later, but you don't answer when he knocks, and you don't respond to his texts all weekend.
on monday in the ADA office he waits until you're the only two in the room, then he quietly approaches you and says he owes you an apology.
"for what?" you ask, playing dumb.
"i suspect that when you came by my dorm to drop something off you may have seen me doing something inappropriate. i sincerely apologize that you had to see that. i had no idea you would be coming over."
you take a few seconds to think of what to say, but eventually settle on "it's not inappropriate to touch yourself, kunikida. you're an adult, you can do what you want in your own home"
he blushes deeply, feeling warm all the way to his toes.
"that may be so, but regardless, i apologize that you had to see it. i hope we can forget about this soon."
"oh, I'll never forget," you say wistfully, turning away in your spinny chair. "it's burned into my eyes. every time i close them, there you are......."
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Dazai
he's on the roof of the ADA building, lying in the middle instead of near the edge. he's staring up at the sky, pondering how small he is in such a vast universe.
and then he gets a random surprise boner and thinks, well i might as welllll.......
you were downstairs working when kunikida asked you to find dazai and make him go back to work. dazai tended to listen to you, after all.
you checked all of his usual spots--the couch, under his desk, under atsushi's desk, in the supply closet, in the cafe downstairs, and finally you went to the roof, hoping he wasn't sitting a hair's width from the edge again like he was the last time you found him up there.
when you open the door, you first notice that he's spread out on the ground with his head turned away from you and think maybe he's passed out--then you notice his hips buck up into his hand and his back arch up a little.
the wind carries the sound of his voice over to you, and you swear he just said your name.
"dazai?" you say meekly, and his head whips to the side, eyes wide in surprise as he sees you. he sits up quickly, turning away from you, using his coat to cover his crotch.
"um... kunikida... he wanted me to find you."
"...okay... please don't tell him what I was doing."
"I really, genuinely won't."
"...okay... do you, um... are you, um... did you hear what i, uh.. what i said when you... got here..."
"yeahhh..."
"shit..."
"hm... i didn't know you were into me, honestly," you say, shrugging.
"oh, yeah," dazai says, feeling very vulnerable since you caught him with his literal pants down. "ranpo told, like, everyone. i'm surprised you didn't, um... you didn't know?"
"no, i didn't know... i think you're cute, for what it's worth."
"oh?"
"yeah. you know, maybe we could talk about this another time? i don't feel like this is the most appropriate setting for this conversation."
"agreed... wait, so you're not, like, gonna run to HR or something, or-- i have a chance?"
"yeah, you have a chance. you're a fucking disaster, though..." you turn back to the door, but throw one more sentence over your shoulder. "oh, and dazai, you know we don't have an HR department."
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tangledinink · 1 year ago
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nooooo he’s having a medical emergency aaaaaaaaaa T-T
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a last-ditch rally.
[ swanatello ] [ prev ] [ next episode ]
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(... is sometimes the most effective thing.)
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sweeneydino · 9 months ago
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Baby dragons... they unlocked it way too early-
Bro, I could've sworn I saw a specific ask asking for this, but I checked, and it wasn't there. I am bamboozled.
Could've just been my dreams fucking with me again idk-
Might get back to spikeangelo later this week, gonna do the ones that are collecting dust first cause I feel bad lol.
Plus, Spikeangelo needs to stretch his legs cause I'm tying him to the trauma train.
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unicornpopcorn14 · 6 months ago
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Hc that Fem!skk have synchronized periods.
The interesting thing about this is while most people would think that would be a disaster, it's sort of a blessing.
Fem!Dazai would hide her period cramps and deny experiencing any effects, though at any chance of affection would go right for it because it sucks and hurts and any fraction of comfort is better than none.
Fem!Chuuya loves being held sm she just embraces anything and everything while crying sometimes from how cute the thing she's hugging is (especially if it's a plushie or a puppy). That's a monthly staple.
So combined, they become the most cuddly-infused monsters with Chuuya being all over Dazai and Dazai allowing it for how nice it feels.
And it's so funny because in their PMS stages they'd be at each other's fucking throats and so close to snapping each other's necks.
While the next day they're hugging and cuddling and being miserable together.
Fem!Mori just gives them that whole dreaded week off.
(And after that week passes they both deny ever being this affectionate. Every single month.)
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flamie-42 · 10 months ago
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Disaster gays meet more disaster gays
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forthetaintedmemes · 1 year ago
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Poe: *in tears because Dazai called Karl a trash panda*
Ranpo: Apologize. Now.
Dazai: Or what?
Ranpo: Ed I need you to write me a book about a wine shop that never closes. I think our rental Executive could use another vacation. One he'll never want to leave.
*takes off glasses to squint at Dazai*
Ever.
Dazai:.....I don't negotiate with terrorists.
Ranpo: Ed add a puppy.
Dazai: OK HOLD ON!
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petvengers · 11 months ago
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My fave sad little meow meow meets my new sad little meow meow.
Except it's petvengers so no bad thing ever happens :D
So yeah, I'm battling my artblock in the old best way going back to petvengers XD
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anticidic · 4 months ago
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It's really funny imagining the idea that Dazai keeps ruining his clothes by jumping into rivers or getting blood all over himself and then just either hangs the SAME OUTFIT up to dry on a clothesline or goes out to the same store where he buys the same exact outfit all over again repeatedly because he couldn't be bothered anymore after a while.
You could handwave that away while he was in the Port Mafia because almost everyone wears tailored suits and nice clothes, but now with him in the ADA, he just keeps buying the same tan coat after getting seaweed and garbage all over it, and once he had to go hunting all over Yokohama in search of the EXACT bolo tie he wore because it turned out that the store he usually goes to doesn't sell it anymore.
He's late to the office one day while on the phone with Kunikida that he had to make an emergency stop at the department store for another vest.
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askchuuyanakahara · 8 months ago
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dazai left a heart next to "hate rack" becausE HE LOVES YOU!! LISTEN TO ME CHUUYA I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH BOY
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Chuuya: "He's been doing this since we were kids, actually."
Chuuya: "Mission reports, notes, all sorts. Got me into all sorts of unnecessary situations."
Chuuya: "All 'cause of a stupid little heart.."
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@irish-journal
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Atsushi: "The agency is where I belong."
Atsushi: "And.."
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@vinvinin
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Atsushi: "I understand that you hate Dazai-san and that he can be somewhat of a nuisance, but he is still an invaluable member of the Agency."
Chuuya: "Well.. I suppose he's already wasted enough of my time today."
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Chuuya: "I'll come back later to give you the documents you guys need."
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Chuuya: "The cafe downstairs should be open.."
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Dazai: "The cafe, huh?"
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will-graham-coded · 8 months ago
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I discovered photoshop today and will be using my powers for queer memeing evil
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sensitiveheartless · 2 years ago
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Skk having their first kiss ❤️❤️❤️
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I’m so sorry I thought about making it sweet but all I could think about was them being really really dumb teens
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miiyumei · 2 years ago
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i love the idea of dazai falling first AND harder, but he spends so much time trying to convince himself that he doesn’t actually have feelings for chuuya because that would be gross and embarrassing because it’s chuuya.
which then leads to chuuya, whose own feelings have to be dragged out of him (kicking and screaming and taking him completely by surprise), being the first to confess.
or, he would have been, if dazai hadn’t stopped him mid-confession to blurt out an, “i’m in love with you, i just had to be the first one to say it 😈” because if everything between them is a competition, this is one he’s not going to let himself lose.
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